#oof i rambled here
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[this became much longer than i intended whoops]
u know i think it would’ve been much better if the ode of resurrection was not shown to us immediately, and wasn’t a main part of their culture. have people die throughout the archon quest, make us believe that there’s no saving them. kill off kachina at the start and convince us that she’s the first playable character in genshin thats not alive.
build up these bonds, forge these friendships, make us care.
just to take it all away
that’s war.
but there’s a tiny flame, that glimmer of hope. maybe it’s something the pyro archons have been working on, passing it down to their successors. something mavuika has been working on. yeah u heard that right she’s actually doing something wow get citlali in there to help out. get the whole goddamn tribe involved idc
there’s a scramble to find the last of the heroes. they don’t want to force it or fuck something up but they’re running out of time. the abyss is coming. it will consume the nation. they need to fucking buckle up and get down to it.
they could probably still go into the night kingdom to search for kachina, so that mualani can get her ancient name. or it can occur under entirely different circumstances. haven’t given that much thought yet. do they find her?
do they find her and can’t actually bring her back to the surface?
for the next part, we’re gonna have to shake things up because we need the captain on our team sooner rather than later. how that happens is up in the air but regardless, we put aside our differences to save natlan.
so, we help the captain find old dragon tech. maybe we enlist the help of kinich and ajaw, maybe we go into ochkanatlan, tie some of that shit in. we can take iansan along too, who is super duper strong and can carry all our fancy dragon tech or smth idk the three of them need more involvement !!! ajaw would drive me up the wall but it’s a necessary evil
in ochkanatlan, we see how the abyss can mimic lifeforms. the twin is in irminsul right? maybe it’s steals the twin’s image, but the traveler knows it’s not them because their twin would never say things like this. we learn that they abyss manifestations are (always?) twisted and mutilated.
we see the dragon. we don’t defeat it, that’s for the world quest lol but we get the image of the dragon in our minds so that when it shows up later down the line, we know what the fuck is happening lol
on our trip, we learn bits and pieces about the captain. it’s all disconnected, nothing makes sense. and since we’re nosey little fuckers, we find correspondence with the tsaritsa in his belongings.
capitano is gentle with his body. maybe a little too gentle. it catches the traveler’s eye but they don’t know what it means, they have no grounds for suspicion. it’s blown off as recovering from his duel with mavuika. (little do we know that he was hit directly in the heart and he’s worried, goddamnit)
ororon lets it slip that something feels off with the captain’s soul. (could the captain be using ororon’s sensitivities to monitor the souls housed inside him? would he eventually tell ororon what’s going on? or would that be too risky?)
ororon receives ancient name same as before, nothing really needs to change there i suppose. more suspicion is thrown on the captain because of the identity of the soul trying to possess ororon. maybe the captain didn’t share his plan in its entirety, he has a lot riding on this, he can’t afford to fuck it up, and keeps his cards close to his chest. he and mavuika can still argue in front of ororon like mom and dad lol
chuychu dies. she doesn’t get to give a long goodbye. she bleeds out in her sister’s arms. (they actually try to stop the bleeding and give her medical care) chasca goes berserk hell yeah, there’s a struggle. she manages to rein herself in, the love between sisters reigns supreme. chasca gets her ancient name
boom u got all ur heroes. they supercharge mavuika to beat back the abyss core thing. what was its name? gilgamesh? i don’t fucking know
the losses are extreme
fast forward a bit bc i’m losing steam and attention span here
we dive back into the night kingdom to track down the “brain” of the abyss corruption. the people we’ve met and lost in natlan help us out. kachina can be added to the mix. the gay lovers, chuychu and her pokémon team, boba and coconut — the whole gang’s here yooo i actually loved this part. favorite section by far
and after our trip in ochkanatlan, we know that the dragon we’re fighting is an abyssal manifestation. the voices of the previous pyro archons are their own but the words are all wrong, designed to discourage and distress us.
we defeat it using the power of friendship (i’m gonna kms)
also mavuika’s kit is completely different. i’m giving her a redesign fuck it. but that’s a post for another time.
traveler seems pretty good ngl i just wish the cons aren’t limited to fighting the dragon. i really liked what i was seeing and then they pooped all over my party (what’s the point!!!)
instead of a big parade, we gather around together at the stadium to finally try the thing all the pyro archons have been cooking. the heroes are a necessary component.
the incandescent ode of resurrection
among the many, kachina comes out of the flames. mualani sobs her heart out and vows to never let her out of her sight ever again
chuychu perhaps? 👀 pls pls she’s the only one besides cap and ororon that i give a shit about pllssssss playable chuychu when? her design is fantastic as is u dont need to touch it PLEASE—
now we can have a party!! after everything is all said and done, we can have One party instead of the five or so we’ve had since we came to natlan. (nation of war? more like nation of fiestas)
ororon, though, feels uneasy, and not because of the atmosphere. he says he’s going to find the captain, but he can’t explain why. concerned, the traveler and paimon try to follow him but are intercepted by citlali, who is for once not freaking out about ororon’s whereabouts, instead…
oh but wait. where’s mavuika gone? oh nooo
plays out relatively the same i suppose. could use some tweaking but not anything significant enough to mention right now.
except now we have somewhat of an understanding of the captain already, all the little bits and pieces we noticed, and the clues we (so rudely) discovered, it’s all starting to make sense now. we’ve also spent more time w him, the emotional attachment runs deeper, and it’s much more painful to experience.
bittersweet
mavuika is confused, especially in the days coming after. she had planned to die then. she said her goodbyes in a roundabout way. she finished the painting of her family, so they’ll never be forgotten. she saved her nation from the oppression of the abyss, resurrected so, so many. there was only one thing left to do… she was supposed to be the one to do it.
what does she do now?
what does she do with herself now, when she hadn’t planned for her own future? it was supposed to end, she was supposed to die. could she have reunited with her family? could she have seen them once again? she’s sad over what could have been, she’s confused because how did it end up like this, she’s mad because the captain stole it from her, she’s guilty because he was ultimately the better choice
what do you do when you’ve spent hundreds of years waiting for your destined day? when you’re only ambition has been this.
it’s time to learn how to live.
the end~
#this is a proof of concept and a stream of consciousness more than anything#so don’t take it all that seriously#but still. we had some good puzzle pieces but their placement was haphazard#i’m fairly certain i forgot a good few important bits but eh. what can u do this is just a ramble#a rant disguised as a storyline#genshin spoilers#5.3 spoilers#archon quest spoilers#natlan spoilers#genshin rewrite#what if i just wrote my own fic then what#that’d be so much fucking work tho OOF#it’s not just mavuika who needs character revision 😵💫#and keeping all the lore straight… brother i simply could not#do i tag all the characters i guess perhaps i should#sigh here goes#mavuika#capitano#ororon#kinich#kachina#mualani#citlali#xilonen wasnt mentioned here but i’d make her less of an insane tony stark#also more harbinger lore. if we’re reading capitano’s diary then imma ask him about his coworkers too hell yeah
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sigh
family vacations
#stress#arguing#socializing#visiting the same locations we’ve been two thrice now#with the same attractions#restaurant food#walking#the beach in 70 degree weather with severe wind#cold ocean water#stores full of trashy and gross t shirts and knick knacks#that I will be forced to look at as my sister searches for her fourty-third hoodie#and the painful realization that after all the money and effort everyone has spent on this#I really just want to be home#I don’t want to be here#and that makes me sad#oof#had a bit more feelings on this than I realized#well there it is#at least it’s chill time now#vent?#eh sure#tag ramble over
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sometimes you can get dopamine through the mail actually :) prints/lanyards/washi tape are from Ouroridae, the Lucanis sparkly button is form WyldflowerArtz!
#on the right lucanis print the weapons are silver foil not white but the camera did Not want to pick that up#hm i need to finish writing my other embroidery patterns to post on etsy... if i sell more i can buy more art#budgets Out for now rip#but i have :) art and trinkets :) to tide me over like the hoarding dragon i am#ramblings#lucanisposting#dragon age: veilguard#the neve washi tape is a surprise gift for a friend but theyre not on tumblr much so i think im safe to include it here#ready to ditch the free cord lanyard i got from the USGS in 2015 and have been using for the last DECADE oof#finally i will have cute work keys/ID#'but did you gain more wall space jade' DONT THINK ABOUT THAT PART YET#merch
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i ain’t built for customers who keep on pushing HELP
#‘ can we get a discount— ’ STOP ASKING ME!! I’M BEGGING!! 😭#all the back and forth was crazy!! had me about to cry in relief when they were gone bc i was stressed the whole time 😭#the people pleaser in me was struggling like i hate to disappoint but that price is firm#and they’re people who want to be so hands off and i get it when you’re busy but damn we can’t do everything for you#just OOF!!! they were pushing a lot and i’m not great with that i fear#sorry to weep on the dash about it :’ ))))#i haven’t been here bc busy! so busy this saturday#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Lmfaooooo I am dying at Halsin just starting act 3 horny on main and straight up asking to be in a thruple, like, bro lmao
Everything about this interaction and the one right after if you decide to ask Astarion about it is gold 💀💀💀 his fucking Halsin impression haha
I so wonder what the others have to say if you're romancing them and get propositioned by the bear hahaha I'll bet it's great
#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 spoilers#i mean i know people go this route and it's fine#but it just was hilarious to me#Astarion#Halsin#you better believe i saved and reloaded to see every which way this could go#but im not gonna try and woo the bear#he didnt even ask Astarion about it yet and is out here ready for him to join in one day lollllll my dude my guy pls simmer down#plus my half elf tav?? that dude is a giant he would break them both in two 💀💀💀#now Dame Aylin and Isobel?? that's a thruple I'd consider hahaha#the bear aint for me but way too intense moon ladies seem like a great time lmfao#also while im rambling in the tags: Astarion asking if its because they haven't been intimate in a while? 🥺🥺#oof pls reassure this man he's special 😭🥺💕#pk plays bg3
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I can't prove this, and I'm not even 100% sure about it, but I feel like there's some kind of connection between the growing lack of horror media designed for children and the antiship movement.
'Cause growing up watching shit like Goosebumps had nothing but a positive impact on my ability to tell the difference between fiction and reality, and I feel like kids not having access to age-appropriate dark media is definitely contributing to this pro-censorship epidemic happening online.
#again I'm not saying this is fact#it's just how I feel#no more reblog privileges#this was just me rambling it was not supposed to spark anything#if I could limit replies to specific posts I would#'cause oof#I was just rambling about something I noticed while my nephew was here and was interested in the possible relation to purity culture
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Was gonna make this a fictive culture is post to queue but then decided I wanted to make a long thing tw: anti endo mention
Sometimes fictive culture or even just Introject culture is something negative happening related to the source and headmates not showing up till after the bad feeling subside by time
By this I mean that and I don't talk about this often but when we first realized we were a system we were eventually presented with telling our friends, sure there is always the option of not telling they aren't owed that information but for better or worse we hate being friends with people that don't know? We hate hiding ourselves and not being able to be friends with people as individuals rather than a collective. We were horrified and while it went well for the most part, the system I already knew was thankfully supportive of endos and another friend even shot back with a same! There was one friend that wasn't supportive a singlet that was firmly anti endo and one of my best friends at the time. We met on a kin server both being tf2 kin though after realizing we were a system those tf2 kins were for sure not kins. We were both huge fans and would create things for each other fanart, writing. It hurt a lot losing them and even if we didn't have solid proof we knew we had tf2 headmates could feel them even if we couldn't interact with them. It's been nearly two years since then, and they fronted for the first time since learning we were a system in September of last year just a few months ago and we were ecstatic. Just felt like a sign we were healing and we were getting truly comfortable in our shared reality and it felt so nice knowing they weren't trapped any longer we have names and faces to people we couldn't reach for so long and it makes us genuinely so happy to see them on our sp and see their chat messages we can also look at tf2 content without being sad anymore? We can enjoy something we lost for a really long time and I don't know I just wanted to share that with y'all? Things hurt but it lessens over time, if you lost a joy you may be able to enjoy it again one day, if you are worried about a headmate they may return to you one day, if you are that headmate from a source the body has bad memories of know that you will still be missed that you are still wanted and your sysmates will smile and cry and hug you if you returned from disappearing. Sometimes we still miss them, especially one of our tf2 crewmates but we are all much happier knowing they aren't in our life and we aren't trying to fit into their box of what is and isn't okay. Even if we did end up being mostly traumagenic traumaendo the endo part is still so important to us and we and all of you deserve people that accept and love those parts of you too.
#on a lighter note with less ups and downs what reminded us of this and inspired us to make this post is we have a new Dream fictive#“new”#we suspected awhile ago we had a few hiding around somewhere since we felt three separate dream vibes nearly a year ago and only one really#figured itself out tho we did think possibly the other vibes were just other members since we were fairly blurry at the time#but with Wish here as well now were fairly sure the third vibe isn't far behind#for those that know im sure i dont have to explain why there are some negative feelings with their source#we dont regret getting into it and we love our headmates but oof there is a reason we don't interact with it now just just so much drama#fictive rambles#endo safe
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why do baby otohan’s colors look like fuckign TOOTHPASTE in this version 😭😭😭
#first version was a red-orange to vaguely green yellow analogous palette then i messed with the clothes a little and now i am failing at#color theory. help. this split complementary teal(ish) color and orange(ish) and pink(ish) is NOT working out#i do like my og colors so I’ll recolor this clothing version with that palette. but make otohan’s skin more saturated lol#i always desaturate skin so much 😭 it looks okay after rendering but OOF. light skin especially fucks me up WHY IS IT SO HARD TO DRAW#but yeah back to the original point I’m definitely gonna try out a bunch of different color palettes#i like the new clothes. i was definitely NOT an outdoorsy kid so idk what I’m doing here but#for the purposes of giving her a pointy stick I hc otohan to be that. i love the outdoorsy toothpaste baby. that’s a normal sentence to say#about otohan thull who is not depicted to be ANY of those things canonically. can you imagine if she was though. toothpaste killed 3 of bh#while screaming and crying and flailing around as babies do. can you imagine#… can y’all tell it’s INCREDIBLY late lmao?#wait i think i have a “late night art rambling” tag one sec#anyways that’s that for tonight’s late night art ramblings lol#<- THERE IT IS!#art ramblings
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at this point i'm convinced some people are just trying to pick fights to make a name for themselves in the fandom and i'm like... i blocked people for less lmao
#like that big big blog who constantly posts stuff just to go viral#like sorry but that's just pathetic AND annoying to see#anyway bitching hours over#ac isn't working and it's like 76 degrees in here so my brain water is boiling oof#ramblings#911#911 abc#yes i am tagging the fandom cuz it's time you all grow up but also i know it's not exclusive to this fandom#also also: i'm genuinely sorry for bitching but this is just truly pathetic atp
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i slept like 3 hours last night today's gonna be rough lol
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As someone with ADHD, you know you're fucking exhausted when you're not even fidgeting. :'D
#I'm literally just sitting here. listening to shit. I usually need to fidget or do something while doing that but no. I'm just staring off#into space. At the creature that I'm dogsitting.#he's exhausting too but it's mostly from the fact that I did a lot of physical labor in horrible boots and now my lower body is dead#I mean this creature eats anything and everything off the ground. One walk and I had to pull 4 acorns. 7 leaves. 5 rocks from this#idiot's mouth. he's not allowed off leash because he just bolts as well. He's sweet but I'm pretty sure there's just a walnut rattling#around in his head lol. I genuinely worry about this dog because...He genuinely has a deathwish#speaking of which. if anyone knows how to teach your own dog how to stand up for herself I would appreciate it :'D#I give my own dog. my sweet girl Mocha. a treat and this little guy starts hopping up and biting at her mouth until she drops HER treat#and then he runs away with it! And I'm like “sweetie. why are you letting him treat you like that?!?!”#yes I separate them when I give treats but still :'( My girl is too sweet for this cruel world.#She's so sweet and brings her OWN toys up to him so they can play together and he just runs away with them and growls at her.#They're HER doggy toys!!!#I know I'm complaining a lot. He's not that bad but also... My Mocha. (also he chases the cats. we have shit blocked so they can#have their own space and be safe and a space for him but oof)#Mad rambles#Mad vents#I'm mostly still recovering from those horrid boots as we realized once I took them off that they basically were at a weird slope.
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we never see yugi as a kid, but i feel like he’d be a happy and cheerful kid- he’d be more talkative and bold with the things he does. he’s still shy, but around his family and the people he knows, i feel like he would be loud and begging any of them to play games with him.
he asks his grandpa to teach him the rules to new games in the shop. he wants to learn a lot about duel monsters, but his grandpa waits to teach him once he can understand all of it better. still, he lets him look at the cards and collect them.
it’s not until later on, once he gets older and puberty hits, that he becomes more anxious and closed off from everyone. he’s seen as lame and the outcast of the class. he’s different compared to all of them. they’re not kids anymore, they’re teenagers.
none of them want to play games anymore. they want to date and talk about their crushes, or sports. yugi still likes games, and therefore, he’s seen as the nerd.
but, once he puts the puzzle together and summons yami/atem, he finds someone that shares his love for games, and that’s equally passionate about it (albeit, it results in some people dead, but y’know, minor details).
yami/atem makes him feel like a kid again and that just strengthens their bond even more :,)
#oof the thoughts are HITTING#i don’t know what any of this is#but here you go#headcanons i guess#yugioh#ygo#yugi mutou#yami yugi#atem#atlas is rambling again
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give me strength to not get distracted again 😭 i do not wanna keep cleaning 😭 but hey i played around with the lads photobooth again, soooo lil chiyo spam below the cut
#i was messing with lighting and the gaze direction and now i wish i was a wizard at editing bc this makes me wanna do something creative#anyway sorry that i’m procrastinating but the executive dysfunction is terrible today#i just need to power through one thing and it’s not even bad but!! it feels so hard!!#oof here i go to try again 😫#get ready to ramble | ooc
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When you say becoming a father??? Are you saying like SOON?! 👀
okay so


I've been looking into Single Father Surrogacy.
Now, I am still trying to understand the whole process of what it will initial, and different types of surrogacies because I honestly didn't know of these two above on the image, and that could only be it, but I'm trying to figure out or understand it better. I feel as though educating myself first is the right decision before I do anything else. I don't know what I'll have to do in terms of supporting said person carrying my baby, but I'm willing to fund everything and do anything required of me to make it happen.
I'll most likely start the application and inquiring process next year, but I am aiming for when I'm thirty-two or latest , thirty-five years old to make the single father surrogacy a reality.
I know it sounds pathetic or weird, etc but I've come to accept and be at peace at least that I might not find someone out there? You know, to love and create wholesome, small but meaningful memories with, etc.
I was also super okay in being with someone who already had children through prior relationship(s), heck I would have loved their kids as my own or at least treat them with so much love, care, and hopefully become someone they would be able to trust, etc. I was totally okay with that and all I would have asked said partner is one child from both of us or if not, them to be okay with me becoming a sperm donor.
However, I'm not going to go on dating apps ever again (although I might try eHarmony just to give these next two years a shot) and no one here where I live interests me so I know that I will most likely end up being single forever. And that's okay. I really am okay with that. 😊😊😊 Sometimes life is that way.
However, I am super lucky and grateful about the fact that I do still have an opportunity in becoming a parent without a partner through surrogate.
I know I said, I was okay with having a partner that didn't want kids, and I am, but only if they would be okay with me becoming a sperm donor so if ever, it would be used and I'll know that there's a little half me out there (if I'm not allowed to be involved in their life). I feel ready to be a parent. I want that responsibility. I believe in my ability to be a great father and so this will be the "taboo" measure that I'm willing and will take to become a dad. 😊😊
Sorry about rambling, but I'm passionate about this AND I just wanted to share a little more context to your ask.
Yes, I do have plans on becoming a father soon 😊😊😊
#thank you for the ask!!#my journey to fatherhood#i know i'm weird for saying all of what i said BUT... sorry 😅#i am who i am#i might pin this#i wanted to do more research before i announced this here but oh well#i don't mind this being out and have y'all accompany on my journey to becoming a dad#😊😊😊#okay thanks again for the asks sorry about the rambling#oh and sorry about the late response#i have been at work since 5am and have been adding bits here and there#i just got out and was able to proof read and finish answer this 👍🏼#personal#ugh#i am so prone to typos#i was in a hurry okay!!! traffic is terrible in the weekends#oof
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was gone for the last 7 hours or so and come back to a ton of notes and someone I was following is now my moot? Okay, uh, welcome aboard new moot. How does it feel like I've missed so much, sheesh.
#unma rambles#my phone was dead for a good while so I just wasn't here oof#what did I do at the party?#I sat in the corner read manga and played phigros is what I did#dunno what you expected from me
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Hey guys! Sorry for the long radio silence- quite a lot has happened in the past few months, but I'd like to try and start being a bit more active around these parts?
(We lost Karmel after an aggressive battle with cancer at the end of September, my dad died in the same week (we weren't close- I haven't seen him in years in fact but still) and then, a month later my mom was in the hospital for a week for a very concerning mystery problem that we never fully figured out- she's thankfully doing better now! But oof, it was a rough holiday season, and I'm lucky I have people in my life helping me through it.
I've been dealing with possible heart issues for about a month now, and am Hoping it's just stress giving me palpitations- certainly can't imagine where that could have come from if it is! But at least I have an appointment with a cardiologist next week to try and get a better idea of what's been going on.)
I know I don't need to explain Why I haven't been around, and my presence on social media the past few years has definitely been on and off- but I want a place I can type out my little thoughts and share my little doodles when I have them again!!
#zeon rambles#cw: death#cw: medical#I'm here!!#I always try to bring bright energy wherever I am but OOF I'm TIRED#but I really do want to be around more!! would love to be a bit more silly again! I was made to play not to stress!!#I don't intend on venting much here for the record but I'd love to put my thoughts down somewhere again!!#and maybe art when I have it!#I've had my chest be weird in the past and was told it was just stress then but it didn't last a month but I sure hope that's all this is!#also Artemis was having some health mysteries we've been trying to figure out it is going Around
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