#ooc. so expect a lot of violence and blood

[scariusaquarius]

rehab. 2.

Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Winter Soldier! Fem! Reader

Summary: While on a mission to find any more possible super soldiers that were a part of the Winter Soldier program, Steve and Bucky make a discovery in an abandoned HYDRA base that was cleared out a few years prior to their mission. They discover the Reader, a long-forgotten soldier that was still asleep within a functioning cryostasis pod; still awaiting orders. While Bucky isn't happy about it, he is put up to the challenge of helping to rehabilitate the soldier in Wakanda where she may be able to become a person again.

-

A/n: The first chapter was a bit short cause it was a test-run honestly, but I am planning on doing an outline for this story as well. I'm definitely neglecting my previous wips, but i don't have a lot of motivation for them right now. Hopefully, however, I will get to them soon!

This is an au where Bucky joined the avengers but still rehabilitated in Wakanda (sometime before Infinity War [canon divergent cause NOPE]). I am NOT fluent in Russian, so I did use google translate cause I couldn't find a good translator that I trusted. If anything is wrong, PLEASE let me know!! Also, I tried to list as many warnings as possible so you know what the story will contain as chapters are posted. Stay safe!

The characters may be ooc, but I did do my best. Please let me know how I did!

-

Genre: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers/Friends to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Drama, Dark Content Rated: Explicit Warning: Angst, Dark Content: Graphic Depictions of Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Manipulation, Kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Nonconsensual Body Modification/Scarring, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, Graphic Depictions of Human Remains, Mentions of Sexual Coercion/Manipulation, Death, Misuse of Drugs/Forced Drugging, Self-Harm (Graphic Depictions and Mentions), Nightmares

-

Author: ScariusAquarius

-

rehab masterlist. chapter 1.

The ride to Wakanda had been slow and uneventful and tense so far. While Steve had attempted to read the black book that had been beside the soldier's cryostasis pod, his attempts proved unsuccessful.

The whole book was written in Russian, which Steve wasn't versed in at all. So, it had been up to Bucky to look through the book despite his apprehension.

Just like with the red book that came with him, the book within his hands doubled as an instruction manual as well as a history of the soldier that was still sitting rigid behind him; unblinking and unmoving. The book didn't give her a name, which frustrated both Bucky and Steve, but wasn't surprising at all.

HYDRA didn't care for who the person was before they became a tool. All that mattered was who you were to them in the moment, what you could offer, what you did, and if you were valuable enough to keep under their watchful eyes.

To them, the woman was Winter Soldier #08, Subject #2018, which was a peculiar number that stood out to Bucky. Her activation words were different than his as well, as was expected, and he frowned at the words that seemed to take root within his mind and piqued his interest at what the possible connections between them and the soldier were.

Holiday. Cross. Shatter. Stimulation. Integrity. Sport. Axis. Assumption. North. Aurora Borealis.

They were so seemingly random that Bucky's mind was starting to hurt trying to tie together some type of story. While his activation words had an inkling of a connection to his life, these seemed almost benign.

Within the activation section, there were a couple of hastily-scribbled notes that detailed about the soldier's history of resistance and the methods that worked best for such occasions, preferred mission-types, experimentation documentation, and some key accounts of the soldier's missions that were note-worthy to HYDRA.

There was one note that stood out to Bucky, however, that had him on the edge of his seat and growing further uncomfortable as he read.

'NOTE: WS #08 is known to be hostile even after activation. Be prepared to meet resistance with severe punishment (Flagellation, Cattle Prod, and High Frequencies favored). Further reprogramming required to fix flaws.'

It wasn't too entirely unknown for a subject to be resistant. Bucky could recall times where he had resisted in moments where he remembered bits and pieces of his life before HYDRA stripped him of his humanity.

Despite what he had told his therapist and Steve, he still had nightmares about the punishments he received while he was the Winter Soldier.

No amount of time within the Mind Chair could ever erase the recollection of the sick things HYDRA did to him to make him listen and be obedient.

Bucky could still feel the hands on him in the moments his mind forced him to remember: the painful intrusions, the feeling of a whip against his back, fingers digging into his scalp and yanking his hair, voices yelling profanities and insults and sexual degradations as he was beaten, tortured, assaulted; whatever HYDRA wanted in those moments.

Taking a shaky breath, Bucky closed his eyes for a moment before Steve's voice had the arms on his hairs standing; forcing Bucky to jump out of his mind and back into the present as the Captain addressed him.

"Shouldn't be too long now before we arrive. Any luck on our guest?"

Bucky shook his head, murmuring softly as he glanced down at the book again.

"So far, nothing. There's a couple notes that say she's hostile before and after activation and some methods that prove successful in making her obedient, but that's mainly it. She's been involved in a lot of assassinations, espionage, a couple data breaches: the whole nine yards."

Steve pursed his lips, shaking his head as he sat back in his chair, staring down at the ground as he became lost in thought.

"If she's a highly-valued asset, then why did they leave her in the facility? Seems like she was pretty high on the ladder just to be left where she was."

Bucky and Steve slowly shared a look with each other before alarm bells began to go off in Bucky's head, and he spun around in time to catch the Soldier's wrist, a large knife within her hands. Steve looked shocked, grunting as he jumped back, and Bucky gripped their wrist hard.

The soldier glared at him before bringing her knee up, slamming into his stomach and forcing him to fall back into the control panel of the quinjet. Steve jumped into action then, calling desperately as he dodged a kick to the face.

"Please, we don't wish to hurt you-"

"-but we will if we have to."

Bucky seethed, Steve giving him an exasperated look. The woman didn't hesitate, throwing the knife at Steve as hard as they could. Steve ducked, his blue eyes widened as the knife embedded into the glass of the windshield; cracks webbing throughout the ruined blade.

During this moment, the Soldier turned her attention back to Bucky as he charged, throwing punches that she expertly dodged and ducked from, her fists punching hard into his ribs and face as he missed. The hits hurt like hell, his face contorting into pain before he swung with his left arm, hitting her in the side and throwing her into the wall.

The woman let out a grunt as she smacked into the side of the quinjet, and Bucky cursed loudly when she grabbed the strap of a supply crate and hurled it at him. As he flew back into the seat, Steve came rushing at her, throwing his shield and hitting her in the side of her knee once it ricocheted off of the wall.

The soldier yelled out in pain, crumpling slightly, and Steve immediately tackled her to the ground. The two of them smacked hard onto the metal flooring, and she punched Steve as hard as she could, the man letting out a hiss as pain bloomed within his cheek.

In that split second, she bucked her hips, her legs coming up to wrap around Steve's neck and forcefully slammed him onto the ground, his head smacking against the edge of a seat and disorienting him. The soldier was quick to scramble to her feet despite her wounded knee, and Bucky met her with a punch to her gut, making her double over and audibly retch.

He then grabbed her by the back of her neck, swinging her back and then forward into a seat a couple of times, her mask breaking off in the process, and she jumped up, using the wall for leverage as she swung herself onto Bucky's back, wrapping her arm around his neck to begin choking him.

Bucky grit his teeth, snarling as he reached behind him with his left arm, curling his metal fingers around her broken knee and squeezing as hard as he could.

Throughout her cries of pain, he could hear the sickly sound of bones shattering; could feel the way her skin and bones crushed beneath his grip, and Bucky was able to breathe again as her grip became loose.

He swung himself backwards into a wall, smacking her against it over and over until she finally let go of him, falling down onto the floor. Grabbing her wrists, Bucky called over his shoulder as he restrained her.

"You alright, Steve?"

"I'm just peachy."

He dropped down next to Bucky, wrapping electromagnetic cuffs onto her wrists before forcing her up and into a seat. The soldier's head was bowed, the cuffs smacking into the wall and jerking her body slightly, and Steve made sure to secure her legs as well.

Once she was properly restrained, Steve glanced at Bucky, noting the anger that was on his face; his jaw clenched and blood running down his temple. He was panting, his whole entire body tensed, and Steve took a few deep breaths as well before he turned back to the soldier.

"Seems like your bad feeling turned out to be right."

"We never should have done this."

Bucky's words were harsh, his blue eyes glaring at Steve as the man hissed out.

"I told you that there was going to be a problem, and there was. There's no hope for these people. They are programmed to kill and serve HYDRA and that is it."

"Even if there is no hope, we still need to try. We saved you, and we can save others."

Bucky sighed, shaking his head. There wasn't really any use in trying to fight Steve on this. Bucky understood that Steve came from a good place and had good intentions, but Bucky couldn't keep the anxiety and fear from filling him.

What if something happened? What if HYDRA had found him again and this was their plan all along? Bucky turned back to the woman as her head lifted, and both of the men seemed surprised at being able to see her face clearly.

There were horrific scars on the bottom half of her face that had been concealed by the mask; some of them raised and seemingly new while others were faded and old. Her bottom lip was cut, blood trickling down her chin, and her nose seemed to be broken as well.

Her (e/c) eyes were glaring at the two of them, a cut above her brow from Bucky slamming her into the wall, and Bucky looked taken back. Steve walked forward slightly, frowning.

"What is your mission?"

Her eyes flicked to Steve, her lips pursed, and she simply hissed out as menacingly as she could.

"Heil Hydra."

She sat back, and Bucky hissed out, a fire raging within his eyes as he snarled.

"Ответь ��а вопрос, солдат. Какова ваша миссия?"

There was no response. Instead, the soldier seemed to begin staring in front of them; becoming vacant and frozen again. Bucky huffed in frustration before he turned to Steve, shaking his head.

"If you still want to go through with this, you need to let Shuri and T'Challa know that she's hostile and active."

"I'll let them know. We're only a few minutes out."

Bucky nodded before he sat opposite of the soldier, muttering.

"I'll keep an eye on her."

Steve gave Bucky a weary look, an expression of apprehension and concern on his face, and he wiped away some blood that had trickled out of his nose.

"Alright. Are you okay?"

"Peachy."

Steve pursed his lips slightly before he walked to the front of the quinjet, immediately opening a communications line with T'Challa, and Bucky stared right at the soldier.

Despite the fact that she was looking at him, it seemed that she was mentally somewhere else. Blood was still running down her nose and chin, dripping onto the floor, and Bucky couldn't help but to clench his jaw as the sound of the dripping ripped into his memories.

Cloth over his face, a bright light from above, boiling hot water slowly burning his skin with every drop, he couldn't breathe. he can't breathe.

Breathe. Breathe. Let me breathe. Please. Let me breathe! LET ME BREATHE!

Bucky shook his head furiously, and he only felt bitter and disgusted by the amused look that seemed to flash within the woman's eyes. Clenching his fists, the man simply huffed as he listened to Steve talk with the King, the kingdom of Wakanda coming to view.

-TIMESKIP-

"What on earth would possess you to come to the notion that bringing an active Winter Soldier into my kingdom would be a good idea?"

T'Challa was not happy. As Steve and Bucky stood in front of the king, the Dora Milaje surrounding them with a tight grip on their spears at the information Steve had given T'Challa, the king was frowning deeply while Shuri stood next to him with a curious gaze. Steve looked apologetic while Bucky kept his arms crossed, biting his cheek as Steve spoke, the king glancing at Bucky all-the-while.

"I know this isn't really conventional-"

"-it is unacceptable! What you are asking for is not negotiable!"

Okoye was understandably angry as well, her eyes wide with fury as she took a step forward, and T'Challa hummed to her gently.

"Okoye."

The woman did not relent, simply squinting her gaze as Steve bowed his head in shame. Bucky clenched his jaw slightly, and T'Challa glanced at Steve.

"Your vision is noble, and I respect what you are trying to accomplish...but you are asking me to put my people at risk. It was different for Sergeant Barnes...but this...woman...is still under the complete control of HYDRA's programming."

Steve sighed slightly before he pleaded gently.

"I can watch over her...keep her from hurting anybody if something goes wrong. Stark wasn't willing because he doesn't have the technology to reverse the programming like you do, and Wanda is currently MIA."

T'Challa laughed slightly, shaking his head.

"The world will question where Captain America has gone. You cannot ignore your duties to promise something you cannot be sure that you can keep."

Shuri then piped up, suggesting with a shrug.

"Why not have Sergeant Barnes look after her? He has the most experience, after all."

"Absolutely not."

Bucky frowned deeply, shaking his head.

"I have to agree that this is a bad idea. I know that it was different for me, Steve, but that's the issue: I knew you. I had something to cling to...a name, memories and dreams...this woman is completely unknown."

Steve was beginning to look defeated, and Shuri's voice made everyone turn to her.

"If it makes a difference: I would be interested in working on restoring the woman's previous identity, but only if Sergeant Barnes will stay to watch over the process. My brother is right: The Avengers may be a team, but they need their Captain Colonizer to help in times of need."

"Shuri."

T'Challa's voice was stern, but Shuri and Okoye shared a look of amusement with each other before she hummed at the sight of Bucky's apprehensive expression.

"Your expertise on this matter will be beneficial, Sergeant Barnes. I'm afraid that Mr. Rogers will be of no help except for physical."

T'Challa rubbed his temples slightly, and Shuri offered, glancing at the king.

"If it brings you comfort, then I shall have Okoye and select members of the Dora Milaje to accompany as well. The soldier shall be put into cryostasis at all times except for observations and testing."

Steve looked hopeful, and he pleaded softly, T'Challa staring him down with apprehension.

"You have my full cooperation that if something goes wrong, then I will answer for it. I know that what I am asking for is dangerous, but she was a person too. This woman probably had a whole life before HYDRA took it away...just like they did with Bucky and your father."

Okoye bared her teeth slightly at the mention of the late king, and T'Challa shook his head, humming.

"There is no need to appeal to my sympathy. Shuri has made up her mind, and I have learned long ago that even if I do not agree, she will do what she pleases."

Shuri smirked slightly, joking as she patted his shoulder.

"I'm so glad you understand me."

All the while, Bucky was clenching his fists, hidden beneath his crossed arms. There was no way that this was going to go well, and though there was a part of Bucky that did understand and did agree with what Steve wanted to do, there was another part that understood how incredibly risky this was.

Take it from him: this woman was dangerous, especially since she seemed to still be active on pre-existing orders. It was even riskier given the fact that nobody knew what her orders actually were. Steve glanced over at Bucky as he stared at the ground, and he placed a careful hand on his shoulder.

"Buck, I know I'm asking a lot...but she needs somebody."

"She tried to put a knife through our heads, and you're saying that we owe her?"

Steve frowned, and Bucky couldn't stand to look at him in fear of seeing the disappointment. Feeling under pressure and on-the-spot, Bucky sighed and his shoulders sagged.

"Fine, I'll stay and help, but Steve, if something happens...this one is on you."

Steve looked relieved, and he thanked him quietly, saying as Shuri grinned while Okoye and T'Challa shared a stern look together before Okoye began to whisper to T'Challa quietly.

"I know, and I'm ready to accept that responsibility should it come to that. I just...someone's gotta be looking for her, Bucky."

Bucky just shook his head, muttering.

"We don't know how long HYDRA has had her, so there might not even be anybody to miss her."

"But she deserves a chance to be her own person just like you."

Bucky shared a look with Steve, staring at him for a moment before he groaned.

"I hate it when you do that shit. I already said I would help, I'm just...there's a lot that could go wrong."

Steve countered, nodding his head slightly as he rocked slightly on his heels.

"There's a lot that could go right too."

"Yeah, say that to the killer headache you're gonna have tomorrow."

Steve chuckled slightly, joking.

"Already there, but thanks for the concern."

"Whatever."

Shuri clapped her hands together, saying.

"Well, now that we've got this settled, shall we bring our honored guest into the lab?"

T'Challa hummed, his Black Panther suit appearing as the Dora Milaje immediately stood at the ready as Shuri stood a bit behind T'Challa.

"Be cautious. We don't know know what is going to happen once those doors open."

"No need. She's been completely restrained, there's no way she's gotten out."

Sure enough, when the door to the quinjet opened, the woman was still sitting rigid; staring at the opposite wall. Steve hummed, walking up the steps, and Bucky followed reluctantly.

"Welcome to Wakanda."

Steve said before picking her up by one of her arms, Bucky grabbed a firm hold of the other with his metal arm. With her feet dragging on the ground, it was apparent that she was not going to fight back.

However, that did not stop the Dora Milaje from pointing their spears at her as Steve and Bucky took her inside. As Shuri, T'Challa, and Okoye followed, Shuri voiced to T'Challa gently.

"I will take care in monitoring her behaviors and will let you know the second that I am given any indication that rehabilitation will be unsuccessful."

T'Challa hummed, a slight frown upon his face as he stared at the woman in front of him.

"No need to worry. Should something happen, I am ready to take the necessary steps to ensure the safety of Wakanda."

-

STORY NOTES: While on the way to Wakanda, Bucky and Steve have attempted to identify the woman by reading through the book that was accompanying her cryostasis pod. However, Bucky's efforts are fruitless. Instead, Bucky discovers the activation words associated with the Winter Soldier and other important details about the history of the soldier.

Reflecting on his time as a Winter Soldier, Bucky begins to become increasingly agitated and worried about the situation. Steve makes an observation on the peculiarity of HYDRA leaving behind a highly-regarded asset when the woman begins to engage the two super soldiers in combat.

Despite Bucky and Steve sustaining significant injuries, they are eventually able to subdue the Winter Soldier by Steve breaking her kneecap with his shield and Bucky further crushing it. Although they question the winter soldier, she becomes withdrawn and silent; refusing to answer any questions.

When they arrive to Wakanda, T'Challa, Shuri, and the Dora Milaje are waiting for them. T'Challa is upset by Steve bringing the seemingly-active Winter Soldier to Wakanda, voicing his concerns on her presence while Steve pleads his case.

Shuri makes a suggestion that Bucky should stay to watch over her because Steve has prior obligations to the Avengers. Bucky adamantly refuses, but Steve manages to convince Bucky to stay in Wakanda to not only protect the people, but to be there for the woman should Shuri's methods be successful.

Shuri then suggests to bring the Winter Soldier to her lab, and the two Avengers begin to escort her inside, T'Challa and the Dora Milaje ready to engage should the Winter Soldier try to fight. Shuri reassures T'Challa that she will alert him as soon as she possibly can if something goes wrong, and T'Challa reassures Shuri that if the Winter Soldier escapes and causes harm that he is willing to kill her to ensure the safety of Wakanda. End Scene.

TRANSLATIONS:

Ответь на вопрос, солдат. Какова ваша миссия? - Answer the question, soldier. What is your mission?

TAGLIST: @vicmc624 @tilldeathripsusapart

[rosavulpes]

OOC : Thinking about these two a LOT , found some awesome what if sprite battles involving sonic.exe and the OST's had me thinkin' a lot about how cool it would be to write em'

An unhinged Super Sonic is already very bad , but an unhinged Super Shadow ? A walking nuke , a ticking time bomb waiting to happen without his inhibitors on ? ( assuming he takes them off at any point and doesn't care / isn't forced to put them back on ) and being in a state of mind where he wouldn't care if he overloaded , and then exploded ?

I also really like the idea of having a prerequisite for using the chaos emeralds being a strong mind / will , otherwise the influence of the chaos energy which is neither good nor evil can overtake you . Either making you a force of destruction , or turning you into a mindless killing machine .

RP wise , as killing wouldn't be all that good for long term interaction . I like the idea of writing them Fleetway mindset as being someone who understands that chaos , whether good or bad is all beneficial to them . They'd want to provoke long lasting conflicts to take in as much chaos energy from it as possible similar to what Unicron did in the Netflix Transformer's : War for Cybertron series .

He could have destroyed Cybertron anytime he wanted to , but it's far more beneficial to him to keep the war going for as long as possible , provoke escalations only when he's certain that it wont completely obliterate the other side , and if it does ? Or when there's no longer any living thing left to harvest chaos energy from ? Destroy the planet , harvest what's left and move on to the next .

[marcyvamp1re-blog]

The Wildcard!

pairings ⸺ Mother! Harley Quinn x Child! Reader.

(PLATONIC FIC)

¿Request? Yes!

This is a Headcanon!

sinopsis ⸺ Being a kid raised under the Joker’s wing isn’t exactly what anyone imagines when they talk about a "good childhood." I mean, it’s not like you’re gonna get bedtime stories when your father figure is a psychopathic clown, right? Although, now that I think about it, he probably did tell you stories before bed—just that his versions ended with explosions and maniacal laughter instead of happy endings. You never really know with him.

But, hey! There was always mom Harley. And while she wasn’t exactly the classic model of a devoted mother, Harley definitely had her moments. Those times when she’d look at you with those big, wide eyes and promise she’d protect you from everything, even from herself. And that says a lot, considering that sometimes even she didn’t know who she needed to protect herself from.

warnings ⸺ Fluff and Angst, Platonic Cuddling, ¿OOC Harley? Idk, Disturbing Content, Street Fights, Violence, Blood, Trauma, Phobias.

Guide! Pt.2

A/N ── Yes, damn it, yes! My first request! Thank you so much, really, thank you! No need to clap, I’ll get all blushy uwu. I put all my love and care into this. Hope you enjoy it to the fullest!

In reality, you were not her biological child. She knew that very well, and moreover, she knew that Mr. J would never want a child with her. In fact, it had never been part of the plan. "Kids are a hassle" the Joker would say, with that shrill laugh that coursed through his body like an electric shock. And Harley, well, she didn't exactly want a baby either. Until she found you.

Harley found you among the rubble, covered in blood, although it wasn't yours (at least that's what she hoped). You couldn't have been more than five months old, and there was no trace of your mother. At that moment, her intentions weren't exactly maternal, but what could you expect from a criminal at 2 AM? However, something in your little eyes disarmed her. You were small, defenseless, and upon seeing you… well, she simply couldn't resist.

Thus began your life with Harley Quinn. It wasn't the most typical childhood, that's for sure. Mr. J saw it as just one of his whims, and as long as you didn't cry and stayed out of his business, you were welcome. According to him, it was easier to raise a little clown from childhood.

To begin with, your toys were not exactly "age-appropriate." Mr. J had a fixation with explosives, so more than once you found yourself playing with what you hoped was an innocent candy box, only for Harley to shout from across the room: "Honey, no! That's not a toy, it's dynamite! Give me that!"

Ah, motherhood. A tough job, yes, but also something Harley never thought would come to her in such an… unexpected way. In her former life, when she was still Dr. Quinzel, she envisioned a normal existence, perhaps with a good job that would provide stability. But well, one thing led to another, and there she was, raising a baby who wasn't biologically hers, but whom life —and Gotham— had placed in her arms. And although her life with the Joker was total chaos, she always made sure of one thing: that you were safe.

In her twisted way of seeing the world, Harley protected you even from him, from Mr. J himself. She knew how unpredictable the Joker could be, so she did everything possible to make sure you were never in the same room for too long. And even though it sometimes seemed like the Joker didn't even notice your existence, Harley made sure to keep that distance. "I want you to be different" she would tell you while fixing your hair with a smile, "I don't want you to end up fistfighting with Batman like mommy."

Harley loved playing with you, especially at being doctors. There was something almost nostalgic for her in that, as if every time she saw you healing your dolls, a small part of the old Dr. Quinzel awakened within her. She loved seeing you with your toy stethoscope, focused as if you were in the middle of a serious operation.

"Mom! Miss JeanieBeanie had a broken heart, and I healed her with words! Just like you told me." Harley smiled, that big, bright smile that only she could make, and although she always tried to maintain the toughness of her persona, she couldn't help but let a tear escape. "Ah, sweetie, you're a genius."

And then, of course, there was the topic of school. You couldn't attend school known as the Joker's kid, that was for sure. So with a little colorful dye, a lot of makeup in the morning, and some nice clothes, Harley would take you to school incognito, as if you were a completely normal child. At least, she tried to make you seem that way. The first days were a disaster, though.

It wasn't that Harley didn't trust the school's safety, but, of course, being the Joker's Queen left her paranoid. So there she was, lurking around the windows of your classes, hiding behind bushes, trying to ensure that no madman would come in with a Kalashnikov to disrupt your school life. Sure, she was kicked out most of the time, but she always returned. Harley always returned.

Sometimes, when she couldn't see you during recess, she'd send you hidden messages in your lunchbox, with little doodles and silly jokes that made you laugh out loud. She worried a lot about you not making friends. "Remember, sweetie, if any kid bothers you, just smile like me and show them who's boss. But don't hit them, okay? Save that for later."

When the Joker finally broke up with her, it was a disaster, like a train derailing in slow motion. But just like with everything else, Harley made sure that the blow didn't fall on you. She never let Mr. J's chaos reach you because you were her priority, her sweetie. So, holding her hand, you left with her without looking back, with her suitcase in one hand and a bat in the other.

Since then, life became a bit more complicated, but also freer. Harley and you had to make do by stealing to survive, moving from place to place until ending up in a small apartment in Gotham's Chinatown. It wasn't the best area, but hey, it had charm. There, the nights were long, the walls thin, and the sounds of street fights mixed with your laughter while you tried to do homework and Harley gave you "life advice" that included how to escape from the police in style.

"Do you know what's faster than a bullet?" she'd say while looking at your face painted in bright colors before running off with a stolen shopping cart. "You, with the right attitude!"

Harley let herself go with alcohol during some tough times, but she always kept you away from that dark side. Sure, she bought a hyena and named it Bruce, which was simply hilarious. Bruce, like that perfect man on the magazine covers that you both secretly adored. "Bruce, come here, let's go for a walk!" you'd hear her shout down the street, and the neighbors wouldn't even blink. It was Gotham, after all.

By then, you were almost done with school. Amid the chaos of your life, you made a friend... Damian something (Wayan or something like that, you were bad with names). He wasn't the friendliest person in the world; in fact, "brat" would be a kind description, but for some reason, he intrigued you. "Mom says that if a boy or girl seems cute to you, you should go for it!" you told him once, repeating Harley's wise advice. Of course, Damian just looked at you like you were the weirdest thing he'd ever seen (and mind you, he had seen weird things; he's 'friends' with the nerd Jon). And although he maintained his air of arrogance, you found him adorable in a way that even he didn't understand.

Some nights, Harley and you would just lie on the rooftop of some building, looking at the lights of Gotham. With bags of marshmallows stolen from a grocery store, you'd roast them with a lighter while she told you stories. But not normal stories, rather ones involving car chases and explosions. No princesses and castles, more like villains and spectacular escapes. Sometimes, Selina Kyle would join in. "It's easier than you think" she'd say, winking at you while showing you how to sneak into a museum without setting off the alarms. It was never a typical childhood, but it sure was entertaining.

When Harley joined (temporarily) the Birds of Prey, things started to improve a little. You had more people around you, like a dysfunctional family you didn't know you needed. The girls tried to be a good influence, although with Harley, that was always relative. But at least there were fewer explosions and more quiet nights; just that "quiet" in Harley's terms meant motorcycle races, sporadic thefts, and bar fights. Pure fun!

And occasionally, Ivy, her "friend," would come to visit them. You thought she was amazing, so elegant, so calm... You knew there was something more there. "Kiss already!" you shouted at them once, laughing, watching how Harley blushed slightly while Ivy rolled her eyes with a smile.

But despite everything, Harley never stopped being an incredible mom, in her own way. On the toughest nights, when you'd curl up in her lap after a long day, she'd stroke your hair and whisper, "You know, sweetie, I never thought I'd be a mom, but you're the best thing that ever happened to me." And although it wasn't a typical motherhood, there was something comforting in knowing that amidst all that chaos, you could always count on her.

So, amid thefts, stolen marshmallows, and moments filled with love, Harley gave you a childhood that wasn’t normal, but was filled with adventures, laughter, and unconditional love. And what more could you ask for when you have Harley Quinn as your mom?

A/N ─── My first request uwu~ I’m so excited! I really hope I did it well, and that you all like this little headcanon. I put all my love into it, so if you have more ideas or want to request something, don’t hesitate! I’m here for whatever you need.

Take a bath!

[bisexualiteaa]

Okay so this has been spinning in my head since I watched the series and it might come across as a but of a strange one 😅

BUT, please could you write one where the reader is pregnant(by someone else), meets Cooper along the way and they hit it off, they go through the pregnancy together, they then in the end they raise this little baby together. Sort of cute fluffy and a lil smutty too. Thank you! ☺️

A Slice of Paradise

Cooper Howard x Pregnant! Fem Reader (SMUT MDNI!!)

CW: slight OOC Cooper, slight deviation from the show, slight deviation from the game, pregnancy, pregnancy cravings, pregnancy hormones, blood, canon typical violence and gore, dirty jokes, cursing, talk of kinks, biting, 🩸 kink, p in v, unprotected seggs, p0rn with little plot, mention of knives, possible grammar/spelling errors, not proofread

AN: thank you anon for your request! My apologies that I’m getting to these asks so late, life has been rather eventful and I’m only just getting back into the swing of writing after forever long writers block. 🥲 I thank you for your patience and apologize that there isn’t a whole lot of fluff in this one but that it absolutely has ✨S P I C E.✨ Hope y’all enjoy my attempted return to writing for our dearest cowpoke, love you all! ♥️

Taglist: @expirednukacola

Trying to survive out in the wastelands while pregnant was not how you had imagined your life to be when you first found out that you were going to be having a baby. When you had first learned that you were pregnant, you were living comfortably within one of the vaults that dwelled beneath the irradiated surface. You had been matched with a fellow vault dweller who they deemed befitting in their mission to “help repopulate the surface” and in an effort to help your people, you agreed to the arrangement. The overseer, and all the other scientists and workers within the vault, claimed that there was no residence or anything living in general, up on the surface and that it would be up to you and your neighbors to fix that. Never in a million years did you think that vault life would go to such complete and utter shit that you would have to come to the surface in order to survive. Never in a million years did you also think that you would find anyone up here willing to stick by your side and not try to kill you in your sleep, and when you did, you had never expected your company to be that of a Wild West cowboy styled, bounty hunting ghoul. Needless to say, life up here was so vastly different than what they had spoken of in the vaults, that some days you swore it couldn’t be real, that it was all just one big fucked up dream that you’d wake up from any time now. But no, this was all very much real. If you made it out of this alive and long enough to see the world even somewhat recover, you were going to write a book on the long list of weird shit you’ve been through.

“I said, give me the damn supplies. NOW!” you spat angrily, pointing the barrel of your gun directly to a raider’s forehead as an extremely angry scowl came to rest across your face. “I suggest you do as the lady asks, kid. She ain’t someone you wanna mess with” Cooper spoke chillingly with a grin, knowing your pregnancy hormones were in full effect today, leaving you moody as all get out, and on days like this, you weren’t afraid to cause bodily harm, or worse, to get what you wanted or craved. Your baggy shirts hid your pregnant belly well, though you were only just now reaching somewhere around four months along, you still didn’t want strangers knowing you were pregnant. God only knows what people do out here to women with babies, and the last thing you needed was someone thinking it made you weak enough to take advantage of.

When the raider’s reaction wasn’t quick enough to your liking, you fired on him without a shred of remorse. Stepping past his limp, dead body to retrieve the box of supplies that you demanded for the bounty Cooper had completed, along with a healthy amount of caps, stimpacks and other supplies from off of his body. “It’s gon’ be one of those days, huh?” Cooper asked, taking the box from you because he might not be the kindest man, but he wasn’t about to make a pregnant lady lug a heavy box of supplies across the desert either. Granted, he knew it was probably wrong of him to insinuate what he had or to poke fun at you the way he was, the grimace and absolute apathy on your face as you shot the raider in cold blood gave him all he needed for his answer, but he knew all too well how to poke the bear, and enjoyed doing so far too much for your liking most days. “Yes. I’m fucking hungry, craving that stupid cram and he was pissing me off. Took too damn long to give us what we’re owed” you answered, your hand coming to your stomach as you complained. “We? That’s a bit of a strong word there, little lady. ‘Cause if I recall correctly, it was me who finished that bounty” he said, enjoying getting on your every last nerve on the worst days possible to do so. It was sadistic sure, but it reminded him of the days when his ex-wife was pregnant with their baby girl. In a twisted sort of way it reminded him of home. “You tryin’ to tell me you’re gonna leave a pregnant lady out in the desert all by her lonesome? Damn, I knew you were cold, didn’t think you were that cold” you joked back, making him laugh dryly. “Oh trust me honey, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet” he said, making you laugh. Thank god you were on his good side, you’d seen all the horrifying things he was capable of, or perhaps all the things he’s let you see that he was capable of. Regardless, you were glad he considered you a friend rather than foe.

Well, friend was a strong word once upon a time, but now? You two seemed to tread on a line somewhere between platonic and romantic, jumping back and forth between it like a tricky game of hopscotch. Though you could never be sure, like the rest of the ghoul, he was shrouded in much mystery. His heart and intentions were certainly no exception to that. “Woulda at least let the poor kid have a chance first, unlike you. So I guess you ain’t gettin’ that much farther behind me there, girly” he commented, making you chuckle at the remark and you supposed he had a point, you really didn’t give the raider enough time but your patience has been running thinner and thinner as of late. So you did as you always do, blame the pregnancy and what the hormones were doing to your brain, or make a snide joke at Cooper. “I’d blame the baby again for it, but maybe you’re just a bad influence” you quipped, making him chuckle dryly. “Honey, I am an awful influence” he replied, making you laugh as you both walked. “You aren’t so bad sometimes. But maybe it’s just ’cause you like me” you responded with a devious grin, making him shake his head playfully in denial. “Best watch it, my kindness’s got limits darlin’ and they get smaller and smaller everyday” he said, making you chuckle. “Likely story. I cook too good for you to kick me to the dusty curb” you teased, and it was true, you were too good at cooking but also too good looking to pass up. More personally, you were a reminder of the good ol’ days before all the wasteland bullshit started. A reminder of the family he once had. He craved oh so desperately to have that little slice of heaven back, and you scratched that itch in a near perfect way that he just couldn’t let you go. Whether he liked it or not, he knew he was growing attached, and as much as he didn’t like it, he knew there was no helping it either. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe if you felt the same way he did, you both could have a little family together once your baby was born. A daydream he often thought of, but that was for another time. Right now, he needed to focus on keeping you safe as you both looked for a spot to shack up for the night.

As you made it somewhere safe, or as “safe” as safe gets out here for the night, you didn’t waste time making some food to keep you, the baby and Cooper fed after a long day’s travel. “That looks about as appetizing as a hog’s ass in swamp water” he spoke as he looked to your bowl filled with Blamco Mac n Cheese and cubed up Cram all mixed together in instant mash. “Don’t judge me, it isn’t me that’s wanting it so damn bad, it’s the baby” you replied, making him chuckle. Sounded exactly like what his ex-wife used to say when she had some outlandish craving when she was pregnant. “Besides, that’s coming from the one that eats people” you quipped as you horked down your entire bowl with lightning speed, making him tilt his head to the side. “Touché” he responded before turning your way when he caught you standing up out of the corner of his eye. He watched as you rolled your tense shoulders and attempted to massage your lower back to relieve the ache that began to culminate there but with the displeased look on your face, it appeared your efforts were fruitless. You hobbled over to sit by the fire, finding yourself walking rather funny from the ache in your feet and the tension throbbing in your tight calves. “You’re a walkin’ hot mess there, girlfriend” he teased, watching you squat to sit down next to him as you attempted to rub your back once more with a pained hiss. You gave a defeated, and equally pained, groan after chuckling at his quip. “Tell me about it. Had I known I’d have to manage up here, I’d have never gotten pregnant in the first place” you replied, rubbing your stomach after your hands once again could not provide you the relief from the tension your body craved to be freed from. “How far ‘long are ya now?” He asked, and you genuinely had to sit there and think about it for a moment. You figured with the way you were only really just starting to show more prominently that you were just about four months along, but you couldn’t honestly remember no matter how hard you tried. “What day is it?” You asked genuinely, making him laugh. “Shit, you don’t even know. That’ll be one hell of a surprise down the road when it pops out at the worst possible timin’” he joked, making you chuckle. “It’ll be a blessing, to finally stop carrying around the extra weight right on top of my bladder and allow some other things to shrink down a little bit maybe” you said, making him hum in amusement.

“I think it looks good on you. Plump is hard to come by these days and you sugar, got one nice lookin’ peach” he said shamelessly, making you laugh as he talked about your ass. “That why you like makin’ me walk in front of you all the time?” You asked with a grin, making him grin. “Can’t say it ain’t one of the reasons” he replied, making you laugh. “Careful, hormones are one hell of a thing to mess with when you’re talking to a pregnant lady. Suggest you don’t go starting something you can’t finish there, Coop” you threatened playfully, making him chuckle at your response. “Oh I can finish it, don’t you worry. It’s you that wouldn’t be able to keep up with me, sweetheart. ‘Specially not like that” he said, making you grin and give an intrigued hum at the challenge he was presenting you with. “Ain’t no love makin’ up here baby-doll, it’s straight up fuckin’. Sure we take our time with it, make ya feel good because it ain’t easy to come by, but it ain’t nothin’ like that soft vanilla shit you vaulties do” he said, making you grin as you leaned back on your hands and you saw the way his eyes almost immediately roamed your body. From your neck, down to your full tits that seemed to have gotten a little bigger since last time he looked at you real good, then to that cute little bump in your tummy, down to your hips and thighs that he just wanted to get a nice handful of. He wondered how soft you would feel in his rough hands, if you’d like the contrast. “Oh yeah? Think I don’t have kinks and shit like that just ‘cause I was in a vault? Can promise you some of us “vaulties” get our rocks off in similar ways to you wasteland folk” you responded, waiting to hear what his rebuttal would be. “Oh yeah? Like what?” He asked, watching you grin to yourself as you gave a soft chuckle. Normally you would never forgo this type of information about yourself, but it was a whole different world up here in the wastes, and this was a whole different you from that woman who came stumbling out that vault just some few months ago.

“Well, obviously one of those kinks is what got me pregnant in the first place” you started, making him chuckle because despite it not being anything crazy, it was still a little more interesting than some. “I like being choked, but I feel like everyone likes that one so that might as well still be vanilla” you said, making him laugh because you were right, that shit isn’t a kink up here, it’s standard practice. “So you think you like it rough, huh?” He asked as he pulled out his hunting knife, cleaning it while you both conversed oddly casually about kinks. His question made you blush a bit, it caught you off guard that he put two and two together so quickly. “I don’t think, I know I do” you answered truthfully, making him grin. “Hell, I bet you ain’t seen rough. I’d reckon you ain’t ever been manhandled by someone or used as a means of blowin’ off some steam” he said, looking at his reflection in the knife and watching the way you looked at him as he handled it. You might have thought he missed it, but he noticed the subtle way your thighs clenched together as he fiddled with it and talked about you being used and tossed around like a rag doll. “I have, just not…well, it wasn’t very good but they at least tried I guess?” You said, almost as if you were asking him and not telling him, making him laugh. “You askin’ me or tellin’ me? ‘Cause you sure as hell don’t sound so sure anymore” he replied, making you sigh. “Fuck it, who am I kidding? It was fucking awful. It wasn’t at all what I wanted it to be” you quickly admitted, making him hum in reply. “I will say…you’ve made me discover a few new ones since we started traveling together” you said almost nonchalantly, and that most certainly caught his attention. “Oh yeah? And what might those be?” He asked, genuinely curious of what he could have done to awaken something in you. “People in my vault were afraid to be rough, whether during sex or not but you aren’t and I like that a lot about you. I know you probably think I’m joking when I say I like “rough” or think I have no idea what rough entails but I do. I like being tied up, having knives involved, and getting manhandled and stuff like that” you said, making him chuckle at the very innocent seeming you, admitting to liking dangerous things. “That so, vaultie?” He asked, not wishing to admit just how much your bashful admission had gotten to him and instead was thankful for making you roll your eyes at the nickname to avoid catching sight of the issue beginning to grow in his pants at all the ideas now rummaging through his brain like a rampant wildfire. “That why you like starin’ at my knife each time I use it? And why you didn’t protest when I tied you up when we first met?” He asked, and you were almost mortified at his question, knowing now that he’d noticed all the times you’d sat there, infatuated by the way he used it. Embarrassed that he caught the look in your eyes the first time his fierce ones met your own as he bound your wrists together and walked around with you like a prisoner on a leash. “Yeah…didn’t think you caught me on it though. But enough about me and my kinks, how ‘bout you? What about sex with you is so different, huh?” You asked, trying your best to move the subject away from you but your question was like the cherry on top of his fucked up thoughts, making an evil grin stretch to his lips as you laid the perfect opportunity out for him to take.

“How ‘bout you come and find out for yourself, sugar?” He asked, taking you off guard by his advance, but you couldn’t deny the way it sent a surge of heat straight to your core at such a straight forward answer. The pregnancy hormones had been eating you alive lately, making you stare at him in ways you shouldn’t have, thinking about him in ways you knew you shouldn’t. Old you would have kicked yourself for thinking the way you had been and allowing yourself to seem so desperate, but you two were close enough at this point. It wasn’t as if you were stooping low enough to just fuck some random stranger. Well, scratch that, you sort of did that already because that’s how you wound up pregnant in the first place. Thanks Vault-Tec. Maybe it wouldn’t be so wrong, or seem so desperate of you after all. He chuckled at your look of shock at his reply, making you blush in embarrassment that you were nearly frozen, unsure of what to do or what to think when you normally always had something to sass him back with. “C’mon now, surely ya didn’t think this wouldn’t end up happenin’ did you? We been layin’ it on thick with each other f’ too damn long now to play that game” he said with such confidence, it almost pissed you off but you couldn’t be mad, not when the pregnancy hormones made you so incredibly horny for this man that you could hardly think of anything else. Your mind was swimming at all the ideas of what he could be capable of, what he had the potential to do. You were left truly wondering just how different, and possibly how much better of an experience it would be with him rather than the last time you’d had sex. You wondered if it would really be any different than what you and your fellow vault dwellers were accustomed to or if maybe he was talking up a big game to get you interested. Regardless of whether it was talk or not, it had the effect on you he was hoping it would, because now you were past the point of pretending you didn’t want to find out, you needed to know. You felt as your core began to ache, excitement beginning to collect in the pit of your stomach as your panties grew damp at all your dirty thoughts. “Honestly I…I-I didn’t know it passed your mind like it has been on mine” you admitted with a deeper blush, making him chuckle as he moved closer. “So ya do think of me? Well ain’t that cute” he replied. “Hard not to think about you like that when I’m watchin’ them nice big hips sway whenever you walk in front a me” he added, making you chuckle as your cheeks burned about as hot as the campfire. “I haven’t uhh…I haven’t *done anything* since I got pregnant so, I’m not really sure how to go about it but, if you’d be willing, I’d like to find out just how different it is to be with you” you said so sweetly, almost innocently and damn it if it didn’t make him feel some type of way. He chuckled to himself a little. “Looks like you’re in luck then. Even luckier that it’s with someone who’s got a little more experience in this field than the average hit ‘n quit” he said, and that’s what stopped you for a moment. Was that all that this was going to be for him? A one night thing to settle some curiosity, then go right back to the way things were? After all this time spent traveling together and getting close to him, you didn’t want that to be the case. It was in that moment you’d realized just how much you genuinely cared for the ghoul who was in your company.

“On one condition” you said, making him raise a non existent brow at you, curious to hear what you had to say. “It’s more than just a one time thing. I don’t…I don’t do flings. Call me a “deluded little vaultie” for it or whatever else you want, but I only want this if you want it to go somewhere, even if it ain’t anything more than a fuck buddy situation” you said, and truth be told he wasn’t completely sure on what he wanted. He knew it had been a long time since last he had a chance to do something like this with someone, and that he liked you but he also knew the thing going on between you had been going on for long enough, why not see where it goes? “Trust me sugar, if you’re still here travelin’ with me, ain’t none of it gonna be without somethin’ behind it. Had you asked me when we first met? I’d have told ya different, but against all better judgement ya managed to get me attached to ya. This is me tellin’ you to pay your consequence for bein’ such a damn tease all the time” he responded with a grin that relieved your every nerve, his hand coming to grab yours and moving it to the tent in his pants to prove his point, making you grin and chuckle. “Didn’t know I get you that worked up” you replied teasingly as you moved closer. “Imma let you in on a simple rule I like to live by, little lady; you cause it, you fix it” he said, and you grinned as you grabbed his hand, pulling it to slide beneath your shorts to rest outside your panties that were getting wetter and wetter with your excitement. “Looks like you got some responsibility to take too then, cowpoke” you said with a grin, and that’s when he knew this would lead to something good.

You smiled into your shared kiss, shocked to find the slightly chapped, thin irradiated lips to feel so nice against your own. It wasn’t sweet like the kisses you’d had before, it was carnal, passionate even. Driven by pure lust and god did it make you melt. Your hands came to rest on the back of his neck as you straddled his lap. Your knees were dug into the sand beneath his sleeping bag without a care in the world as his hands groped your ass and sensitive tits. You moaned as his lips and teeth soon worked at your weak spot on your neck, making you roll your hips against him as your eyes fluttered shut. You held onto him as you rocked your hips back and forth, earning a groan from the ghoul below you. “Fuck, Cooper…please” you whined, making him pull away from your neck to click his tongue at you. “You can beg all you want, but I ain’t skippin’ over the good parts just ‘cause you’re gettin’ antsy” he said with a grin up at you before popping open the buttons of your beat up flannel shirt and latching onto one of your breasts, sucking on the sensitive bud. You normally were self conscious of the fact that you’d foregone wearing a bra in favor of comfort, but in this moment you couldn’t be more thankful that it was one less article of clothing to worry about taking off. You moaned as his fingers toyed with the other side, pinching harshly as his teeth would occasionally nip at your perked bud or the soft skin around it, but being sure to give your tits equal love and attention. Rather shocked that you hadn’t yelped or drawn back at his rougher display to your overly sensitive nipples, he continued. “Fuck…” you whined, feeling as one of his hands dragged down to the waistband of your underwear, before working his hand beneath it to your clit. His fingers worked tight circles along your aching bud, leaving your head devoid of all thoughts as he brought you the pleasure your body had been craving for ages. You hated the way you felt so close to your impending release already, having been pent up since even before leaving the vaults, and now that you were pregnant, you were even more sensitive to it all. “Oh god, Cooper…” you panted out, your strained, pleading voice like music to his ruined ears as you moaned his name. “Doin’ good for me sweetheart” he praised, only adding fuel to the fire that was ready to consume you at any moment.

You moaned blissfully at the pleasurably painful stretch of him working his way inside of you finally. God how you ached for that feeling, to be stretched and filled in ways nothing else could give you other than him. “Damn you’re a tight little thing” he commented, already moving and setting a pace without giving you time to adjust. It was bliss, the painful draw out but the pleasurable thrust back in. You just couldn’t get enough. “Normally this is where I’d throw you around and fuck you absolutely stupid, but last thing I want is t’ hurt that baby” he said, making you wish you could know what it felt like to be used by him, to be thrown around and taken by him but you knew you couldn’t, not yet. “Maybe I’ll just give ‘em a sibling instead, how’s that sound, sweetheart?” he asked in your ear in a low rasp as the sound of skin slapping skin started to fill the air. A pleasant, tingling shudder ran down your spine at the prospect of it, clearly he hadn’t forgotten that first kink you’d told him about. He gave a grin, feeling the way your walls fluttered around his dick from his words, and seeing the effect it had on you left him nearly feral. Guess you weren’t lying when you said one of those kinks of yours was the reason you were pregnant. “Yeah? You’d like that wouldn’t you, sweet thing?” He asked, knowing the answer but he loved the way he had you absolutely cock drunk on him too much to not try and hear from you. “Yes! Fuck, I’d love that, please!” you said through your moans, making him chuckle. “I betchu would” he said all smug and proud. “Bet you get off on the idea ‘f fuckin’ someone who could rip you t’ shreds, dontchya sugar? Ya like it dangerous” he said, making you shake your head yes in reply. “Yes! Fuck- Cooper!” You moaned into the midnight air, your back arched from the ground as you moved your hips to meet his thrusts, desperately chasing your high. “Look good like this, sprawled out below me all helpless and vulnerable. I could just eat you alive” he said with a sadistic grin, his lips just below your ear, his breath ghosting your neck as he rocked his hips into you. “Bet you’d taste so fuckin’ good” he added, groaning through gritted teeth as he watched your engorged tits bounce with each harsh thrust, fighting the urge to sink his teeth into your soft, smooth skin. “Why don’t you- fuck! Have a taste and find out?” You replied, making him look up at you with a wild look in his eyes. It was untamed, feral even and by god if they weren’t the most magical words he’d ever heard. “Shit, don’t play with me” he said, looking at your neck and shoulder, practically drooling over the idea of how you would taste. “I ain’t playin’, bite me” you insisted, and with that, he surely wasn’t going to pass down such a beautiful opportunity.

His blunt teeth sunk into the flesh of your shoulder, making you hiss as a white, hot pain coursed through the muscle before simmering into something more pleasurable. “Shit! Cooper- fuck me, that feels good” You moaned as he almost seemed to use his teeth to attach himself to you as he rutted into you with reckless abandon, leaving you writhing beneath him in pleasure. His eyes rolled back as a moan left him from the taste of your blood flooding his tongue, you were even more delicious than he originally anticipated. Crimson coated his lips and teeth, a small stream even leaking from the corner of his mouth and down the column of his neck as he detached himself from you. He’d gotten his taste, given you an experience you certainly wouldn’t forget, but the sight below him was certainly one he would forever commit to memory. The imprint of his teeth marks that marred your otherwise perfect skin, deep purple beginning to blossom around it as blood faintly trickled down your chest from the fresh wound. If you weren’t delicious before, you were absolutely delectable now. He ran his tongue along the trail of blood, the hot, wet muscle leaving a trail of saliva in its wake as he traveled back up to the source before laving his tongue across the punctures in your skin that he left. “Freaky little thing” he said, grinning at the way you had enjoyed feeling him sink his teeth into you and allowing him to taste you in such a manner. “Told ya” you quipped before being cut off by your own moan as he found that sweet spot deep inside of you, brushing past it with almost perfect precision. “Right there! Fuck, just like that. So close…” you whined, making him chuckle. “Go ‘head sweetheart, let go for me” he permitted, and with that, the coil in your core snapped, sending you toppling over the edge into an orgasm so earth shattering you swore you were no longer on this earth in that moment. Cooper was quick to withdraw from you, wanting nothing more than to feel the sweet way your gummy walls would hug him as he came inside of you, but he couldn’t bare the thought of putting that precious baby of yours at any more risk. For now he would have to settle on finishing on you rather than in you, but the sight of you covered in his cum was surely another marvelous one to behold in his eyes. From the way your eyes sat lazily half lidded, to the way his seed looked upon your chest and stomach, he had to admit, it certainly wasn’t a sight to complain about.

You both took a moment to bask in the afterglow of your orgasms, coming down from cloud nine to do your best at steadying your breathing. The gentleman he was, he helped in cleaning you up, offering you some Rad Away to take when you were finally able to pick yourself up from his sleeping bag. “Sate your curiosity?” He asked with a grin as he slipped his pants back on and his duster, lighting up a cigarette to enjoy as he sat next to you. You gave a laugh as you redressed. “Sated my curiosity for tonight, but never know what these hormones have in store for me tomorrow” you replied, making him laugh dryly. “Suppose I can’t argue with that logic” he said, making you giggle as you took the Rad Away and got ready to sleep, thankful for the warmth his body provided in the frigid temperature of the desert night air. You weren’t sure what tomorrow would bring for you two, but at least you knew it was something you both could grow to explore. Maybe that slice of heaven wasn’t such a distant memory after all.

[dejwrld]

— in which the heir to the biggest mafia/yakuza in japan is in an arranged marriage with a foreigner & it turns into a wicked jealous filled obsession. inspo from happy together by the turtles

( cw ) ⸻ fem reader, her/she pronouns, female pet names, yandere themes, yandere!ushijima, mentions of violence, mentions of blood, mentions of murder, mentions of gore, yakuza/mafia au, choking kink, character death, possessive!ushijima, ooc!ushijima (only said ooc cause he does not act like the way he acts in hq), toxic relationship, ushijima father slaps him in one part, arranged marriage au // minors dni ! repost from old account!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀this fic won the mystery fanfic repost poll.

HOW COULD SOMEONE’S HANDS FEEL SO COLD? That thought lingered in the back of your mind when you felt Ushijima Wakatoshi’s hand placed on the lower part of your back as you waltzed around the venue. You remembered how his touch felt so cold that it sent a shiver down your spine even though minutes ago you complained about how hot you were in the vintage well-tailored white dress. You never expected your life to change suddenly due to your father. It was a bit comical considering that he got you into this marriage and didn’t even bother to show up to walk you down the aisle. 

You felt like a sheep among some vicious hungry wolves. You had no friends in Japan. You had no family in Japan. Just Ushijima and his circle. You couldn’t even contact your family unless they contacted you first. You would think that you were the president’s daughter, but you were only one of the richest men in the world's daughter. That came with consequences. Your life was always under a microscope. Eat this. Dress this way. Don’t date this person. Attend this university. You didn’t actually think you’d be scribbling ‘have an assassination threat on your head’ off your Bingo card.

So here you were, bound with Ushijima Wakatoshi for your safety and the future of your family. You should have known that an arranged marriage was going to be put on the table. Someone would question why a foreigner has been hanging around the notorious family that controls more than eight districts in Japan. You planned to lay low, enjoy your time in Japan, maybe go back to school, and then when your father contacted Ushijima’s father, go back home. But the thing is, you knew that there wasn’t any going back home. For all you know, your father could have been dead. The thing is you knew this marriage wasn’t going to be rainbows and sunshine, Ushijima didn’t even smile as you waltzed down the aisle in a room of strangers. You remembered the deadpan look he gave you, but that last dance is what caused your stomach to form the most horrendous knots as he brought you closer. You could feel his breath trickle at your earlobe before he whispered, “The only one for me is you, and you for me. We both have a lot on the line when it comes to this fuckin’ marriage. We’re stuck with each other, so let’s make sure this work.” 

Even though he uttered those words in your ear over two months ago, you and Ushijima just couldn’t work. It wasn’t like you weren’t putting in the effort, you did. You even learned how to cook some of his favorite dishes and even then, you still were met with a harsh cold steel door. You remembered vividly when it seemed like a switch was turned on in his head. You sat in the living room like the pretty wife you were. The diamond ring on your wedding finger glistened under the family mansion light, you hated to admit that Ushijima picked out a beautiful ring when there wasn’t much meaning behind it. You were confused about why you and Ushijima were summoned here in the first place. It wasn’t like you two were doing anything romantic anyway, just you watching the maids cater to him due to him partying the previous night. When you heard the harsh footsteps and your eyes watched as men bowed as the Takashi Utsui entered the room. By the looks of his face, he looked pissed and your mind instantly panicked. You toyed with the ends of your dress as you watch Ushijima stand up with urgency to greet his father. 

Your eyes bulged outward when you heard and witnessed the harsh slap Takashi placed against Ushijima’s cheek. The room was so silent and you observed everyone in the room. No one bulged at the action as if it happened before. You watched as one of Takashi’s men rushed to his side handing him a folder. He opened it with urgency revealing the photo of Ushijima in a club the previous night. A woman was on his lap kissing his neck. Your eyes instantly lowered in embarrassment. Even though this marriage had no love, you still felt a form of humiliation. 

“What did I tell you before you said I do to that woman right there?” Takashi’s finger points at you. 

Ushijima's jaw clenched tightly as if he was holding back an explosive bomb. 

“Huh? I can’t seem to hear you.” Takashi stepped forward toward his son. His head tilted to the side as he was trying to hear Ushijima’s words.

“That if I embarrass her, I’m dishonoring my family,” Ushijima said.

“And?” Takashi asked.

“And she’s a part of the family now,” Ushijima said. 

Your heart was beating so hard at the word. You watched as Takashi's fingers combed through his hair. He let out a sigh to calm himself down before he’s walking over to you extending his hand for you to take. You hesitantly took it as he helped you up, walking by his angry son to walk into the family garden in the backyard. Your hand grasped at his arm as you walked by his side. The sweet scent of the Cherry Blossom tree that was in their backyard. You remembered Ushijima mentioning that his father got the tree grown in the backyard because his mother adored the scent of when the petals free-fell to the ground. However, even though his parents divorced his father still made sure the tree was taken care of.

“I want you to go out,” His father commented as he was walking around the garden. He could feel your grasp upon his arm tighter, “You’ve been trapped up in the house while my reckless son goes out and embarrasses our family,” He commented. 

“I don’t know anyone to go out with sir,” You commented. “I would rather be home, especially considering that it would only be a burden. Do I need to remind you, that I have a hit out on me?” You pointed it out.

You watched as his lips formed a straight line, “Of course. I won’t let you go out alone, you’ll be with my assistant and her friends. Plus, I’m sure I’ll have some men in there if you need them,” he reminded. 

You would look at him before simply nodding, not bothering to argue with him once again. “Okay.” was the only thing you said before he let go of your hand. 

“Please enjoy your time out. I would hate to have to tell your father you hate it here.” He responded. “You deserve to be happy and I’ll be sure to ensure that.” 

You forced a smile on your face which seems like you were doing that a lot. The sweet scent of the cherry blossoms lingered up your nostrils before you were speaking once again, “Okay, thank you.” You gave his arm a squeeze and a kind smile before departing to go back into the luxury home. 

You were expecting to be met by Ushijima, but he was nowhere to be found. It didn’t particularly shock you, he got embarrassed in front of everyone. You were expecting to be met with your usual driver who hardly spoke to you unless you spoke to him first but instead was met with Tendou and Kai. Your eyebrows raised as you stared at him, “Let me guess, you’re taking me home.” You sighed and you didn’t get an answer, but you did follow them outside the huge mansion. 

When you got in the SUV, you would sit in the back instantly indulging in the things on your phone before you heard Kai’s voice. “He actually does care about you, you know?” 

You would shake your head, “Has a funny way of showing it.” You answered.

“But, please do not do something tonight that will upset him,” Tendo warned as his fingertips tapped at the steering wheel.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “He gets to go out and act a damn fool, but wants to lose his mind if I do the same,” You kissed your teeth. “I’m going to go out and have so much fun like his father said to do.” 

The remaining amount of time in the car was quiet before you were dropped off at the luxury mansion that you resided in. Despite you decorating the huge mansion to your liking, it still didn’t feel like home. You were greeted by one of the maids, and you would only tell her that she could take the day off, especially considering that you believed today was one of her children's birthdays.

“But Mr.—“ The maid's words were cut off by you.

“I will handle him. You guys can have the rest of the day off. Go enjoy your child’s birthday,” You explained as you watched her face light up before she walked away to grab her things. 

FOR ONCE YOU WERE ENJOYING YOURSELF. As you were at the bar attempting to flag down one of the bartenders, you could feel a male figure squeeze himself next to you and the countless others at the bar. His tall stature towered over you as you attempted once again to get the bartender’s attention. However, the man interjected whistling and getting the bartender’s attention. 

“That’s the trick, to get their attention,” He commented as he gave you a smile that you returned. It was like a bird calling as the bartender flocked to him effortlessly. “This beautiful young woman has been trying to get your attention. I’ve told you guys about not being aware of the customers in front of you.” He warned.

“Sorry sir, it’s a bit hectic back here.” The bartender apologized as his eyes traveled to you. But when he noticed who you were, he looked away with quickness. “What can I get you?” 

You would ignore his sudden break of eye contact and begin to list the drinks your section wanted. “Could you get them served to that section also?” You pointed to the section on the left of the club. “Add an extra bottle and just charge it to Ushijima Wakatoshi’s card.” 

The gentlemen next to you eyebrows raised as he was trying to mentally put a face to the name that fell off your tongue. You leaned against the bar patiently before speaking, “Thanks for helping me. I appreciate it.” You gave him a kind smile as you watched one of the bottle girls load up the drinks on a tray to deliver to the section you were at. 

“It’s no problem. We wouldn’t want to disappoint the wife of Ushijima Wakatoshi.” He responded. 

You rolled your eyes hearing that statement, which the man caught instantly. “Is there a problem? Are you—”

Your words cut him off with a quickness. “It’s not a problem. I am his wife after all, but I just hate that here that’s all I’m known for.” You said to the gentlemen. 

You understood that it was for the best for a lot of people to know who you were, but being known as the wife of a man who didn’t even take the marriage seriously himself felt even worst. You had so much more power than people expected, but here you were in an unknown world not being able to use that power. 

You thanked the stranger once again before attempting to go back to the section, but you felt him tug you back towards him. He lets out a firm sigh before extending his hand toward you. “Let’s start over, I’m Lev Haiba. I own this club.” His hand motioned around the crowds of people in the nightclub. 

You couldn’t help but snicker as you shook his head. “Y/N, heir to the biggest oil company in the world.” You answered. “But that has to stay between us.” You gave Lev a playful smirk and he only held his hand up in a defensive mode.

“Your secret is safe with me. I hope Japan is treating you well considering the uh—circumstances.” Lev says. 

You could hear the pity in his voice. “I’m assuming you’ve heard the news of my loving husband?” You asked as the two of you were walking towards the section you were in. 

“Everyone did. It was this club he was spotted doing said activities. However, it’s Ushijima Wakatoshi, no one is going to ruin his mood.” Lev admitted as he rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “But I have said too much, I should get back to my job. It was a pleasure meeting you.”

You watched as he disappeared into the crowd, once again feeling like the sheep in a field filled with wolves as you sat down in one of the chairs. You instantly picked up the drink wanting to drink the night away. 

WHEN YOU RETURNED HOME, you dropped your YSL heels on the floor as you stumbled into the house. You glanced at your phone and saw that it was four in the morning. You couldn’t believe that you stayed out so late. You definitely were going to have to rain check with the afternoon tea session with Ushijima’s mother. You attempted to tiptoe your way further inside the house not wanting to wake Ushijima (if he was home). You were aware that on some occasions Ushijima men would be at your house. It didn’t shock you that they were here in your living room doing god knows what. However, the weird feeling under the bottom of your feet caused you to instantly sober up. It felt wet, slightly slippery. You glanced down and your eyes grew big at the sight you were seeing. You had stepped in a small splatter of blood that decorated the thin plastic layer that was on the floor. Your heart rate increased instantly as you stumbled back in a horrified panic to be met with Ushijima catching you from falling. 

“I—“ Your words were stuck in your throat. Your hands were shaking harshly and your heart felt like it was trying to claw out your chest. Your eyes stared at your husband as the crimson-colored liquid stained the white Versace button-down shirt. 

“It’s good to know you’ve made it home safely. Now let’s go get cleaned up. We’re both in need of a shower anyway.” He firmly said. 

You felt Ushijima grab hold of your forearm. His blood-covered fingertips stained your brown skin. “But we have guests.” You stuttered out.

“That’s fine, they will be busy cleaning up the mess that you made,” Ushijima confirmed.

Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion as you were being tugged into the shared bedroom. With urgency, Ushijima closed the door behind him. “Strip.” was the only thing he said as his hands went up to unbutton the buttons on his shirt.

You did what you were told, letting the dress you wore fall to the ground. You crossed your arms over your chest preventing Ushijima from seeing you like this. You didn’t even notice that he had already stripped out of his expensive clothing. You could sense him towering over you before you finally croaked out some words, “You said my mess? I haven’t done anything wrong.” 

Goosebumps decorated your skin when you felt Ushijima’s fingertips tracing alongside your side. His fingertips engraved you with the possible sin he just committed before you arrived home. He stopped right at the soft fabric of the thong you wore, letting out a low hum before pushing them down. You didn’t argue against his action. You weren’t sure if you were too afraid to or if you just wanted to see where this would go. You stepped out of your underwear before watching Ushijima disappear into the bathroom. The sound of the shower could be heard before his voice broke you out of your broken thoughts. Like an obedient dog, you walked into the bathroom with your hands still attempting to cover your bare body. Ushijima was already in the hot steaming shower washing over the blood that was on him. “I’ve already seen you vulnerable before, remember our wedding night?” He asked. “There’s no need to hide your body away from me.” He answered.

“You never responded to what I said. What mess have I created? You’re the one that’s going out every night and acting a fool,” You reminded him.

Ushijima let out a sigh, “Just get in the fuckin’ shower and we can talk.” He says, “Please.” 

Hearing him say please was a shock to you, you took a couple of steps forward opening the door of the walk-in shower to join him. In a different world, such an intimate moment would have your stomach flowing with butterflies. But right now, your stomach could only twist in dangerous knots while you let the steaming hot water heat your body. “Did you have fun last night?” Ushijima asked.

Your eyes met with his as you felt the warm cloth filled with soap brush against your body. He was kind enough to clean you himself. Similar to a doll maker creating a doll, you felt that’s what Ushijima was doing. You were his doll as soon as you walked down the aisle clutching onto his father’s arm. “I did. It was nice to not be bottled up in his house. It can get lonely sometimes,” You answered. 

“You have the maids, it can’t be that lonely,” He responded.

That was true. During your time living here, you managed to get to know each of the eight maids and two groundskeepers that worked to make sure Ushijima’s home looked nice. But it still felt lonely, cold. It didn’t feel like a home. 

“Although, I appreciate their help around the place. It’s not the same.” You answered as your finger went up to motion for the young man to turn so you could wash his back. “You know this. I’m not asking for much, but can we at least pretend we’re enjoying this marriage.” 

“I’m actually enjoying this marriage,” Ushijima responded with a chuckle.

“You have such a weird way to show it. Going out every night, being seen with other women—“ You stopped abruptly to let out a weary sigh. Not sure if the sudden feeling of being lightheaded came from the hotness of the shower or the fact that you’re finally voicing your opinions to Ushijima. “It’s humiliating.” 

Ushijima didn’t say much about your words. The two of you continued to shower in silence before eventually getting out of it. At this point, you had sobered as you toyed with the ends of the soft white rob Ushijima put you in. You watched as Ushijima waltzed back into the bedroom, “Well, let me show that I will change.” 

Your body leaned against the doorframe of the master bedroom bathroom, “Sex really can’t show me anything. Changed behavior though,” You said rolling your eyes at him. 

“Come on, when was the last time we actually had sex.” 

“You’re deflecting from the original conversation Ushi,” You sighed as you walked towards the dresser to find something to wear.

As you were searching for something to sleep in, you could feel Ushijima’s strong arms wrap around your waist. He tugged you closer to his body and you felt the growing boner poking at the fatness of your butt. “You haven’t called me Ushi since our wedding night.” He commented.

“You’re so annoying.” You sighed, but you didn’t bulge out his touch. “We both were drunk as ever that night. I can’t believe you still remember that.” 

“Of course, I remembered it. You moaned it so beautifully while your head was buried into a pillow,” Ushijima reminded you as you felt his lips press against the exposed skin on your neck. 

You felt your skin grow hotter with each harsh nibble, lick, and bite on your neck. One of Ushijima’s hands disappeared inside your robe and straight in between your thighs. His index and middle fingers swiped at your wet folder and indulged in how wet you were while you seemed to melt into his touch. “You don’t remember, hmm? How your thighs couldn’t stop shaking once we were done?” He asked as his fingertips that were covered in your wetness would rub at your clit. “How you wet up the sheets so badly?” 

You made direct eye contact with Ushijima in the mirror that was connected to the dresser. The once softness that was in his eyes for a split second was gone. You weren’t particularly super religious, but you were sure you were looking into the eyes of the devil. He undid your rob and tugged it off your bare body causing you to gasp suddenly. Your thighs quivered for more as you felt your own wetness stain the inside of your thighs. Ushijima stopped the subtle circular motion on your clit before he’s talking once again. “Tell me you remember that and I’ll help you cum,” His words tickled your earlobe and you nodded instantly.

“I remember. Ushi—“ You desperately coughed up those words. “I remember.” 

“Good,” Ushijima said while the grip around your waist grew tighter. “Now be a good wife and go to the bed and get on all fours, darling.” 

You did what you were told, being sure to grab a pillow to make yourself feel more comfortable. The anticipation bubbling into your stomach as you could sense Ushijima behind you. When you felt him tug you closer to the bed, you swallowed the large lump forming in your throat. Your cunt so eager to swallow his cock bit by bit even though you were sure he wasn’t going to be so gentle. When you felt the tip of Ushijima’s cock enter you, you chewed at your lower lip getting ready for him to instantly bottom down inside you. The faint memory of your wedding night when he specifically praised you on how well you took his dick swirled around your head. 

This time he took his time. Pushing his cock inside you slowly, teasingly, until you were gasping for him to put it all the way in. His large hands grasped at your waist before his hips begin to drive forward to be met with the soft flesh of your butt. Your head buried into the pillow caging in your moans before Ushijima grabbed the pillow and tossed it. “I need my men to hear you while they’re cleaning up your mess.” He said firmly. 

His fingers buried into the flesh of your skin while the sound of skin slapping against each other could be heard. Ushijima was in a complete trace as he watched his cock disappear into your addicting cunt. “Go ahead, moan out how good Ushi is making you feel while they clean up your mess.” He said through gritted teeth. 

“What mess?” You hiccuped out through moans. Your eyesight grew blurry due to the tears that accumulated through Ushijima’s thrusts. 

You let out a yelp when Ushijima grabbed a hold of your head tugging you upward. His chest pressed against your sweat-coated back before he let go of your hand to use that hand to snake around to your neck. “Don’t act foolish Y/N.” He answered.

You could feel Ushijima’s cock twitch inside you as he stopped his thrusts abruptly. His hand wrapped around your neck and you could feel him give it a slight squeeze before his thrusting continued. “You know my doll. When you press your thumb in someone’s windpipe, index finger to their carotid artery, and your middle finger applies pressure to their jugular vein…they’ll lose consciousness.” Ushijima said.

The heat of the moment of your breath grasping away for a couple of seconds due to Ushijima mimicking the same thing he just told her, he let go of you and shoved your face further into the fluffiness of the mattress. “Even when I nearly took your breath away, you only clutched around my cock even tighter.” He said darkly. 

His words sent a bone chilling shiver down your spine as you moaned out helplessly. “Ushi!” You moaned out.

His thrusting only continued, ignoring your little whimpers before he leaned over placing wet kisses on the middle of your spine. “You know that only makes a person lose consciousness, but if you continue you can damage the cortex of your brain which leads to your death.” He uttered as he was thrusting.

His chest heaved upwards as he traced his name upon your skin. “It took less than 6 minutes for your little friend Lev to finally fuckin’ die when I wrapped my hands around his throat.” He said through groans. You could feel his thrusting grow sloppy, he was about to cum.

“I had to clean up your mess Y/N,” he said. 

You felt yourself orgasm immediately. The dangerous shiver that went though your body made your body go into complete shock. Your gasping out for Ushijima. The thought of him killing a man that talked to you pushed you to the edge. Perhaps you did flutter around his cock even more at the sound of those words coming out his mouth. Ushijima still fucked you through the explosive orgasm until he too was cumming mess, not bothering to pull out either. Filling you up to the brim with his cum just to trap you as his. 

He let your body collapse on the bed like a rag doll. You were completely out of breath with his cum leaking out of you and when you met his eyes, they were soft once again. 

“We’re starting a clean slate starting now. No more outside interferences when it comes to our marriage. We’re going to be happy together if we like it or not.” He said as he leaned down to place a kiss upon your temple. 

“Now get some rest, my doll, we have tea with my mother in about eight hours.” 

You really were still a sheep upon the family of wolves. 

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Series Masterlist

Chapter 11

Warnings: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SA. Please venture forth with caution. Typical TWD violence and gore; blood; injury.

A/N: I don’t know why but I feel like Daryl is extremely OOC in this chapter. Maybe I’m just being a bully to myself. I’ll try to rein him back in with future chapters. I’m sorry.

Daryl’s feet carried him at a slow pace, seemingly knowing where he was headed. He ended up outside of the cell Hershel would use for medical purposes. Reluctantly, he tapped his knuckles against the bars and waited for the veterinarian to invite him inside. 

The curtain was moved aside and Daryl noticed the absence of you and Carol immediately. “She okay?” He asked gruffly, not willing to show any fondness toward you. You likely knew exactly how he felt, at least in a physical sense. He didn’t need everyone else donning those knowing smiles like they had any clue of the turmoil he was battling inside. 

Hershel stood with the help of his crutches and hobbled his way to the archer. “She’s just fine. A little shaken up but that’s to be expected for someone with her background. She said she was going back to the fences.”

Daryl nodded. “Okay then.” He turned to leave—to find you—pausing when a gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder. 

“She trusts you, you know.” Hershel said with his gentle smile. The hunter enforced his unreadable mask. “She has a lot of fear and rightfully so. But she trusts you.”

“She shouldn’t.” Daryl replied, blue eyes dropping toward the floor before he presented another nod and left the cell. It wasn’t that he didn’t want your trust. He didn’t deserve it. The archer knew what had been done to you, yet when he lay awake at night, it was you that he envisioned while stroking himself to the precipice of pleasure. 

It was wrong.

It was immoral to fantasize about how it would have felt to have you that night beside the fire. You were willing but it wasn’t real. You wanted him because of obligation, not because you felt anything toward him. Not even because you just needed to be fucked. But because you had been brainwashed to think that was what you were supposed to do. 

Guilt sat like a stone in his gut and he didn’t know how to process it; how to move past it. Maybe training you—building you up to take care of yourself—would absolve him. He could give you that, asking for nothing. You could move forward with knowing that someone could show you kindness with no strings attached. 

Daryl heaved an intensive sigh and stepped outside. You would be waiting for him with those wide, pretty eyes. When he was closer to his destination, however, he found that you weren’t there. He continued regardless and collected your knife, slipping it behind his belt. You had probably wandered off with Carol when he didn’t show. It was probably for the best. 

He was about halfway back to the prison door when he saw Carol exiting. Alone. Something didn’t sit right. “Hey!” He called out, waiting for her to find him when she began looking around. 

“Hey, yourself!” She shouted back. 

“Y/N with ya?” 

“I thought she was with you.” 

Fuck. Carol’s expression mirrored his own, communicating without speaking as they often did. “I’ll check the cells.”

“I’ll check the towers.”

Daryl hated running. It was all he had done since the world ended. He ran for his life or someone else’s. The latter only amounted to anything half the time. “Y/N!” He yelled the minute he stepped foot inside the prison walls. 

Beth stepped up to the cellblock door with baby Judith in tow. “What’s the matter?”

“Y/N been in there?” He asked breathlessly. 

“I haven’t seen her. She doesn’t spend a lot of—Daryl! What’s going on?” The young blonde yelled at his retreating form. 

He didn’t answer, didn’t even stop when he snatched up his crossbow and sprinted back outside. If you had gone beyond the fence, you were as good as dead if he couldn’t get to you in time. Carol had forbidden you to enter the tombs. Surely you wouldn’t have. Would you?

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He muttered, pacing back and forth in front of the door. Either scenario would mean death if he didn’t act quickly. The thought alone left a hollow ache in his chest that he was too panicked to give any attention. 

You stood less of a chance in the tombs. He would start there and pray to some deity that he made the right call. His fingers had hardly brushed the door when his keen hearing picked up a sound. A shout. Daryl froze, tilting his head to listen. There was no other noise but his gut told him he needed to go investigate. 

He kept his steps light but quick, crossbow loaded and ready to aim. The closer he got to the opening in the outer wall, he could hear voices. Two males. 

“Don’t fuck it up too much, man.”

“Looks like someone already did that.”

Daryl’s back was pressed to the wall, about to lean around the corner for a look. The voices belonged to two men that had been allowed in that very day. Lonny and Marvin. He hadn’t felt right about them but Rick vouched for them along with the rest of the group. They could be engaged in innocent conversation, but something about the whole thing was making the archer’s teeth itch. As discreetly as possible, he peered around.

In a span of mere seconds, Daryl went through an onslaught of three intense emotions. Firstly, he was in shock. You were facedown on the concrete, blood pooled around a portion of your head while your nails scratched at the concrete. Then came the guilt. There was the smallest whimper accompanied by an utterance of ‘ow’ that made his eyes sting. Lastly, came the anger. No, it was fury. The men had ripped off the clothing from your lower half. Marvin had a hand pressed hard into the middle of your back while his other hand moved aggressively between your legs. Lonny stood just behind him, stroking his cock with the most vile expression Daryl had ever witnessed. 

He didn’t hesitate to step around, crossbow level with his eyes. The weapon trembled in his grip. His blood was boiling just underneath his skin. “Ya got less than one goddamn second to move away from her ‘fore I put a bolt in your brain.” The low growl of his tone added intent to an already very clear threat. 

Lonny moved first, releasing his dick to put his hands in the air and step back a few paces. Marvin hadn’t moved, actually smirking at Daryl. The archer gritted his teeth, really really restraining himself. 

“Daryl.” 

It was the tiniest whisper of a breath and the anger disappeared in an instant, his expression shifting, softening. “M’here.” 

“This here your pussy, man?” Marvin’s arm moved, bringing three blood-coated fingers to his lips. “I mean, maybe we could work something out and sha—”

The bolt pierced through the side of his middle finger, into his mouth, and out through his cheek. The screams were bound to bring reinforcements, not that Daryl needed them. His blue eyes shifted to Lonny. The man hadn’t moved and continued standing stock still while another bolt was loaded. 

“Ya got any propositions for me, asshole, cause you’re givin’ me a helluva target.”

Lonny shook his head vigorously. 

Daryl glanced down, wanting nothing more than to run to your side but he couldn’t let his guard down. Not yet. 

“Both’a ya back the fuck up.” The archer stepped forward and Lonny stepped back while Marvin continued to scream. 

“Oo choht ee ehn uh ouhth!” He attempted to complain while using the hand that wasn’t bolted to his jaw to clamber to his feet. Daryl took another step forward. 

“I said BACK!” He roared. His patience was wearing thin. Marvin finally reacted and stumbled away. 

“Daryl!” Carol called from just around the corner. 

With help so close, Daryl abandoned the crossbow and dropped down beside you, stripping off his vest to at least provide a little coverage for you. 

“Hey, ya with me?” He placed his hand on your back as gently as possible, bending forward so you could see him without the need to move. Carol, Rick, and others had arrived and were handling the men but the archer was paying them no mind. The moment your eyes blinked open, you were his sole focus. 

“I—I—” You attempted before your face contorted in pain. 

“Need to getcha inside. Getcha to Hershel.” He was trembling again, anger threatening to resurface amidst all raised voices. Keeping his hand on your back, his wild gaze searched out Rick in the flood of people. “Get ‘em the fuck outta here!”

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” Carol kneeled on your other side, sweeping your hair away from your face. It took Daryl a moment to realize she was talking to him. He nodded, gaze back on you. You hadn’t moved but your eyes remained open. “I’m gonna get a blanket.” 

The archer nodded again, leaning back down after she had gone. “You’re gonna be fine. You’re safe.” A broken sob escaped from your lips, the sound ensnaring his heart and squeezing. You moved as if you were going to push yourself up, sending Daryl into a panic. “No, don’t. Stay still. M’a getcha there. Just another minute.” You didn’t respond but the quiver of your lip told him you were still conscious. 

The hunter heard the pounding of Carol’s boots well before she appeared with an off white sheet. His vest was tossed aside, giving him the briefest look at the blood smeared on your inner thighs. He knew then that he would murder someone that day. But you came first. 

“Roll her this way.” Carol instructed, helping him move you into a position from which he could easily lift you. “Easy, easy.” 

You gasped and whimpered and tried to curl in on yourself. It was all Daryl could do to keep you still. Once you were on your side, Carol brushed your hair back again. You flinched at her touch. 

“You—you promised.” 

His friend looked as if you’d punched her in the gut, a hand flying to her mouth; her eyes heavy with gathering tears. “Get her to Hershel.” She commanded softly. 

Daryl slipped an arm under the curve of your neck and slid down to your shoulders while his other maneuvered under and around your thighs. When he lifted you, a broken cry worked its way from your throat. He was left cradling you awkwardly but you were shielded by the blanket and he could make the position work in order to get you inside. His feet were moving before his brain even registered he’d given the order. 

“Daryl.” You whimpered. Your fingers, with their broken and bleeding nails, curled into the front of his shirt. “Hur-hurts.”

“I know.” He didn’t know how to reassure you; how to make this better. Carol had promised you a better life there. He had brought you there under the same assumption. If he was honest with himself, he took you out of the frying pan and tossed you right into the fire. His pace continued to increase only to slow when you’d start to cry harder. “Just a lil’ further.” Was that for you or himself? He didn’t know. 

When Carol caught up, she didn’t touch you. Daryl knew it wasn’t out of anger or cruelty. She felt as if she had failed you. He knew that because he knew her better than anyone. 

He knew that because he had failed you too. 

Daryl sat on his mattress, legs outstretched and arms lying limply in his lap. It had been hours since he’d found you. He’d taken you to Hershel and was quickly ushered out due to the location of your injuries. Carol had remained, although unsure if you even wanted her there. 

The archer, with nowhere to release his guilt and anger, had headed straight for the cell where he knew Lonny and Marvin would be kept. Rick had temporarily taken his keys after the former sheriff and Glenn had finally managed to drag Daryl off of both men. 

At least he had retrieved his bolt from Marvin’s face. It was now lying on the floor below his feet. 

He was told to stay back when Carol had come from the medical cell and a decision was made on the fate of the two bastards. They counted his vote which was just shy of flaying them open and tossing vital organs over the fence. He had wanted to ask about you but there was no time. Everyone wanted the issue dealt with and the perpetrators out of the prison, one way or another. 

In the end, they were stripped of their clothing and put outside the fence. Carol wanted them to suffer as you had suffered. Rick had disagreed but was outvoted.  

Lonny and Marvin would now be two more walkers snarling at the fence. 

It wasn’t enough, in Daryl’s opinion. He would have tortured them, willingly chipped away at his humanity to hear them scream; to watch them writhe and see them bleed. Regardless, the anger had given way to all encompassing guilt. He wanted to blame Rick for bringing the assholes in based on the answers to three questions that anyone could respond to with a lie. But he couldn’t. 

He was the sole reason you were even there at the prison. He had gone against Rick and traded valuable assets to free you. He’d never know what would have been the better option for you. Still—

He selfishly wanted you to stay. 

It would never be worth the risk of your wellbeing to explore the urges he had been feeling. He’d never put you in that position; subject you to that confusion. He just wanted you to stay for reasons he couldn’t even grasp himself. What was wrong with him? He didn’t do emotions. It was always easier to remain closed off. 

Footsteps echoed from the bottom of the stairs. Carol. Daryl pulled himself from his defeatism, only to see your blood dried on his arms; his busted up knuckles. 

“Hey.” He didn’t look up. “Brought your vest and crossbow.” 

He still didn’t acknowledge her. He wasn’t angry with her in the slightest. He just didn’t know how to verbalize all he was feeling. He didn’t want to. So, when the mattress dipped beside him, he sighed. 

“Hershel says she’ll be okay. There were—lacerations that will take some time to heal. And she has a nasty concussion.” Carol fiddled with the hem of her shirt for distraction, allowing silence to permeate the room. “She won’t talk.”

Daryl scoffed. “She thinks ya broke a promise.”

“No.” She countered. “She won’t talk to anyone. Just lays there and stares at the wall.”

He hated how that image settled in his chest, causing an unfamiliar ache. How could Hershel say she’d be alright when she had been subjected to behaviors straight out of the hell from which he’d taken her. He couldn’t do more than hum in reply. 

“You like her, don’t you?”

“Nah.” He lied. “Just wanted her to be safe.” That much was true, at least. 

“I’d like to think I know you better than anyone.” Carol whispered sadly. “And everything in me says that you like that girl.”

“What’s it matter?” He would usually snap at her, but he didn’t have the energy; lacked the bite. The memory of you lying there, broken, had stripped all that away. 

“It matters.” She squeezed his shoulder and stood, dragging her feet toward the stairs where she paused. “You should go see her.”

“I ain’t what she needs right now.” Or ever. 

It was her turn to hum. “Maybe you’re exactly what she needs.” 

He listened to her steps fade the further she walked. Carol did know him better than anyone, but that didn’t make what she knew right. He needed to stay away, for your sake and his own. 

So why did he find himself taking a shower to scrub away the blood you didn’t need to see? Why did he walk to the medical cell? And why was he standing in the doorway, staring at your back? 

Now that he was there, he had no idea what he was supposed to say. ‘Hey, sorry ‘bout those two dickheads that took advantage of ya’? Eventually, he chose just to seat himself in the chair behind you and remain silent. He couldn’t be certain if you even knew he was there. 

You looked so small on that table, the thin blanket pulled up to your shoulders. The sheet he had wrapped you in was wadded up in the corner, the crimson splotches scattered like a grizzly design. Daryl’s hands curled into fists. He wished he could have watched the walkers tear into those two depraved assholes. 

He remained that way—a coiled spring of anger and self-loathing—until you stirred. It was the slightest shift accompanied by a nearly inaudible mewl. The archer straightened his spine but otherwise remained still. He still couldn’t understand why he was there; couldn’t even attempt to sort through the sentiments stirring inside. They were slowly consuming him, confounding and confusing in their ambush. All he knew was that you were there, breathing and heart beating, and the sight of you provoked the overwhelming emotions. They threatened to swallow him whole. He’d gladly allow them if it meant he’d gain understanding. 

You shifted again, turning your head slowly to peer at him with tired eyes from over your shoulder. Daryl felt his lungs attempt to freeze while his pulse fluttered like a hummingbird’s wings. Carol had said you refused to speak. He wasn’t refusing. He simply couldn’t. He settled with offering a slow nod. 

His breath stuttered when you responded—not verbally—but with a small smile. It didn’t meet your eyes, but it was new and not unwelcome. His fingers dug into the arms of the chair, knuckles white. He wanted to run. This wasn’t him. For Rick, for Carol, he’d do this. He’d stay. They had become friends. No. They had become family. You? You were different. You weren’t an enemy. You weren’t really a friend. You were a stranger, a newcomer. Yet somehow, you had managed to slither your way right under his skin. 

That was terrifying. He’d rather be thrown into a pit of walkers with only a toothpick to protect himself than deal with matters of the heart. He was out of his depth, alone in unfamiliar territory. And at that point, it was sink or swim. 

Daryl cleared his throat. “How, uh, how ya doin’?” He managed to relax enough to free the chair from the death grip. The corners of your mouth turned down, your eyes beginning to shine with moisture as you looked away. The archer didn’t know how to interpret that. “I should go.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek, finding himself hesitant to leave you alone. But it was for the best. He shouldn’t have come in the first place. He wasn’t sure what else to say. The silence made him feel even more awkward. 

Hands on the wooden chair arms, he pushed himself up to stand. Grunting was apparently Daryl-speak for ‘goodnight’ or ‘feel better’ but that’s what he went with. It never failed him before. Quick to turn his back, he made it two whole steps. 

“Daryl?”

The archer’s eyes closed, a curse sitting on the tip of his tongue. Of course he’d be the one you chose to talk to. Dixon luck at its finest. He turned his head toward his left shoulder, purposefully keeping his eyes on the floor. 

“Stay?” Your request came softly, but powerful enough to shatter any resolve he had managed to muster within his inner battlefield. Daryl found himself easily turning back to you, taking back those two steps, and lowering into the chair. 

“Okay.”

[mcntsee]

Her smile

Summary: I taught you everything you know. Her words resonated through his mind. I saved you. And she had. He couldn’t deny it any longer. It’s not like he ever had; he was just too much of an asshole to admit it to her.

Warnings: A little bit of angst, but mostly fluff. Good ending (maybe…). Violence, blood, etc… There’s a little of Kaz’s backstory mentioned, but it has slight changes. I think a curse word here and there, I can’t remember. This was a little bit rushed, so expect grammatical mistakes. One or two uses of “Y/n”.

Quick clarifications: Y/n is a year or two older than Kaz, not more. This is kind of written from Kaz’s point of view. You get a glimpse of his thoughts, which are in italics. You might also see the constant use of the word “ja”, that was just me trying to add a little Kerch touch to the story. ( Ja = Yes. )

Author’s note: I am still trying to figure out this new writing style, but actually really liked how this turned out. I tried not to make Kaz that ooc, but I’m unsure of whether I succeeded or not. Comments are extremely appreciated!

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

Keep running. That was the only thing Kaz could think of. Run or be caught and end up like Jordie. So he ran. He ran, and kept running until his legs gave out. Get up. Keep running. But he couldn’t.

The temperatures were dropping, he had cast off his wet pants, but his shirt still clung to him, reminding him of the dew-laden grass back in Lij that would stubbornly stick to his bare feet. I need a different shirt.

As he gasped for breath, contemplation filled the moment, presenting an opportunity to plan his next move. Though he knew some clothing stores were open, the absence of funds and a nagging doubt lingered – in Ketterdam, who would spare a glance for a kid in drenched clothes?

I could bite another kid. He thought, but he knew the chances of acquiring more clothing items out of acting like a rabid dog were slim. Moreover, he pondered the peculiarity of another child rummaging through the barrel at this hour. Think, Rietveld, think.

A moving shadow caught his attention from the corner of his eye, triggering the instinct to flee from potential danger. Yet, just as he prepared to sprint, he discerned the diminutive size of the shadow, halting him before he could take off. They can’t be much older than me.

To his credit, it had seemed like a brilliant plan. Biting the other kid had secured him a new pair of pants, albeit snug in certain areas craving more breathing room. Regardless, they were dry.

Why, then, should he have anticipated the petite shadow to swiftly twist his arm at an angle before the opportunity to enact his rabid dog performance even arose?

“I haven’t seen you around before.”

Kaz had expected the shadow to be many things, a girl, however, had not been one of them. Jordie would have died laughing if he saw this.

“Cat ate your tongue?”

“It did not. No.”

“There you go. What business?”

He had heard that question before – in the alleys, the pleasure houses, along Geldstraat, Jakob Hertzoon.

“No business.”

With a huff, the mysterious girl relinquished her grip on his arm and nudged him with a push. Run, Kaz. Run. But something else in him had told him to stay.

“What is it that you want then, …-“

“Kaz.”

“What do you want, Kaz?”

Multiple answers ran through his head, all of them something that he desperately needed- Jordie, my da, money, food, Hertzoon. “I want a dry shirt.”

“Is that why you’ve been scaring kids off?”

“You’ve been following me.”

“Can you blame me? You caught the attention of a lot of people after biting the kid.”

Admittedly, he was aware of the fact that it had not been his brightest idea, but he was desperate.

“I suppose I could help. Wait here.”

And just like that, she was gone. Not even leavening the sound of her footsteps behind. She won’t come back. Ignoring his mind, he decided to wait. Wait and hope that she would return. Hope is dangerous. Still, he waited.

Not long after, a whispered “Kaz!” was heard from the shadows. “Come here!”

And went he did. His gaze jumping from corner to corner, trying to figure out why the mysterious girl suddenly had the urge to whisper.

“Here you go.”

“Wha- Where did you get this from?”

“That store over there.”

“I don’t have money to pay you back.”

“Pay me back? It was free.”

Free? He doubted that. Ketterdam did not seem like the place where free clothes were handed out to kids in need. So, how did she get a free shirt? Oh.

“You stole it?”

“Ja.”

“How?”

“You really are new here, huh?”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Jakob Hertzoon?”

“That’s what I said, ja.”

“No clue. Never heard that name before.”

How could she possibly not know Hertzoon when she knows everyone in this forsaken city?

“He is a scammer. A thief.”

“You are going to have to be a little more specific than that, Kaz.”

“Old, average height, beard.”

“Sounds to me like everyone else in Ketterdam.”

Great. He had truly believed that she would be able to help him find Hertzoon, but it seemed like luck hadn’t been on his side for a while now.

“Anyone you can think of?”

“No, not really.”

“He has a daughter. Saskia.”

And he assumed that was the key detail she sought because the moment the name escaped his lips, she froze. Maybe luck is on my side.

“Red ribbon girl?”

“Yes!”

“Oh, Kaz…”

Maybe luck is not on my side.

“What?”

“There is no Jakob Hertzoon.”

He hated her. So much. No one believed him, and just when he thought he could trust someone again, she went and crushed it like it was nothing.

“There is.”

“No, Kaz-“

“Why won’t you believe me?”

He felt like crying. He felt betrayed. The same way he did the day Jordie had him climb up to the window to peek inside, only to find that Hertzoon was gone. That they had been betrayed.

“I do believe you.”

“Then-“

“That’s not his name.”

“He said it was-“

Oh. You idiot. Of course that was a lie too.

“The person you are looking for is Pekka Rollins.”

Pekka Rollins.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

Since that day, Kaz had remained by her side, recognizing that an ally in an unfamiliar city was preferable to navigating it alone.

“And you are doing this because…?”

“None of your business.”

“All of my business, Kaz.”

In moments like this, Kaz found himself longing for the chance to rewind time, back to the day they met, and enact his plan of biting and escaping.

“I want to do something nice for someone.”

“Mmh. What you’re trying to say is that you fancy someone, ja?”

“Ja.”

Once again, that stupid smile adorned her face. However, he comprehended the reason behind her teasing. After all, he had been seeking her assistance to conquer his phobia throughout the entire past week.

“Of course I’ll help you, Kaz. You just need to wait a week.”

“Why?”

“The old man wants my help in some stupid job.”

“What job?”

“I’m just meeting with some contractors, nothing fun.”

Initially intending to wait, he seized the chance when an opportunity unexpectedly presented itself.

It started off small, with him merely removing his gloves for brief intervals, but soon he opted to take it a step further.

Had he waited a mere couple of hours, perhaps he wouldn't find himself holding an ice pack to his left cheek right now. Unfortunately, impatience got the better of him.

Believing that taking on a job without his gloves was a clever shortcut, he hadn't anticipated Borj assigning him the task of restraining someone.

It had been too much, too fast, forcing him to release the individual. He had inadvertently granted someone an escape opportunity, all because of a girl.

“Kaz.”

Run. Hide. Yet, after the brutal beating he endured, he lacked the strength for either option.

“Kaz.”

“What?”

“What happened?”

Despite the strong urge to snap at her, to demand solitude, he found himself disheartened and in pain. So he told her everything.

“Where’s Borj?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.”

But apparently, she had cared because as soon as those words escaped his lips, she was on her feet and walking away from him. You are weak, Brekker.

Not long after she left, a commotion outside caught his attention. Initially inclined to ignore it, given the commonality of fights in the barrel, he changed his mind upon recognizing her voice. Rising to his feet, he went in search of her.

"Does it make you feel powerful, Borj? Stronger, or better than everyone else?”

There she stood, an accusatory finger pointed and rhythmically striking Borj in the chest.

“Does beating a kid make you feel like you matter?"

"Get out of here before I beat your ass too, kid."

But defiance laced her words as she challenged, "Try me."

And try he did.

That marked the final encounter Kaz had with Borj.

Of course, that's excluding the occasion when she assisted him in tracking down Borj, enabling him to exact his own revenge.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Breathe, Kaz.”

“I am.”

“You are not.”

He truly wasn’t. Despite an hour of attempting to crack the lock, he couldn’t find the pressure point she kept talking about.

“Stop.”

“No, I almost got it.”

“Stop.”

With a sigh, the lock picks he had previously been using clattered on the table, his gloved hand reaching up to rub at his temples in frustration.

“If you keep jabbing the lock picks in, you won’t be able to find where to push down on.”

This was a stupid idea. He had witnessed her effortlessly open various locks within seconds and believed that asking her to teach him was a brilliant plan.

It wasn't her fault, really. He simply had a tendency to get frustrated when things didn't unfold as he intended.

The fact that he was embarrassing himself in front of her wasn't helping in the slightest either. How was he supposed to steal her heart if he couldn’t even learn to pick a lock?

But then she flashed that smile, and everything seemed to get better.

“Here, let me show you again.”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Aim higher.”

“I can’t aim any higher unless you want the bullet to- hopefully, hit a bird.”

With a sigh, she stepped closer to him, her hand extending.

“May I?”

A nod of his head was all she needed before she carefully grabbed his arm, pushing it slightly upward.

“There. Try again.”

A single shot echoed through the air and this time, unlike the many others, the bullet hit the mark.

“Attaboy.”

And, saints, if he hadn’t been smiling already because of his success, he knew he would've struggled to suppress the grin that would've undoubtedly appeared on his face at the sight of her twinkling eyes and smile.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Please just go.”

“I won’t until you tell me what’s wrong, Kaz.”

What isn’t wrong?

“I won't be able to fix all of your problems, but you'll never have to face them alone.” With those words, she stepped closer. His breath caught, his body responding as it always did. His stomach churned, hands trembling, and sweat starting to form on his forehead. “I may not have all the answers or solutions, but I do have all the time in the world for you.”

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Who exactly was he thinking about, he wasn’t sure. For all that mattered, it could’ve been her, Jordie, or even Pekka- again. But most of all, he detested what he’d become.

I hate you, Rietveld.

“It's alright if things are going differently to what you had planned, Kaz.”

But it isn’t.

“It's alright if your life is taking turns you never could've predicted.”

It has for a while now.

“It's alright if you're feeling overwhelmed.”

I am. Constantly overwhelmed with dreams and hopes that I just can’t pursue. I am not strong enough.

“Kaz, there is no rulebook for existing.”

I wish there were.

“Watching you move through life with your head held high and your strength radiating, even on the tough days, has been such an eye-opening and inspiring experience.”

But it was fake. He was not strong. He was scared.

She could sense the turmoil inside his mind. She didn't need to hear it to understand the dark narrative he was weaving for himself. The destructive lies his brain was pleading with him to believe.

“I can't protect you from everything,” another step closer, “but I'll do my best to make sure you're safe.”

Soon, she had reached his bed, and with a subtle nod, he silently granted her permission to sit beside him, his gaze still fixed downward.

“I trust you, with the entirety of my heart.” Carefully, she lifted her arm, waiting for his response. Anticipating him to tell her to stop, expecting him to push her away as he always did.

But this time, he didn't. He inhaled deeply and, with deliberate effort, raised his body off the bed using his arms, moving closer to her.

He could feel the heat radiating from her, even at a distance. He could feel her warmth, and he longed for it. He yearned to draw nearer.

He longed to break down and cry, wishing for her embrace to envelop him. Imagining her tender hand soothingly moving up and down his back while he heard the gentle thumping of her heart.

“I hope you never forget that I believe in you. Wholeheartedly. With every fibre of my being.”

In that moment, he let his eyes brim with unshed tears, and for once, he allowed someone to see it. His gazed slowly moved up from the ground, halting at the sight of her face, and then delicately tracing down her features, pausing at the captivating allure of her smile.

And for the first time ever, he allowed himself to fall into her welcoming arms.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

“How did you do that?”

“What?”

“The pen thing.”

“Magic.”

“Teach me.”

For the first time ever, she was asking him to teach her something. He never thought this moment would come. He had believed that there was nothing she didn’t know how to do.

Yet, here she was, seeking his guidance to unravel the secrets of a magic trick. A small shift, perhaps, but an unexpected and welcomed turn nonetheless.

“A magician never reveals his secre-”

“Oh for Saint’s sake, Kaz.”

“All right, all right.”

Saints. That smile.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

“You are not thinking clearly, Brekker.”

“I’m thinking clear enough to know that you are not helping.”

She is right. Deep down he knew that. She is always right. But today, he wouldn’t accept it.

He had a solid plan. The only issue was that the blueprints he had acquired were not up to date, and the building he was meant to be in was old.

“You are going to get yourself killed, Kaz.”

“So what?”

Numerous opportunities for death had come his way, but it hadn’t claimed him yet. So, what was another risk going to do? If he was meant to die, he would.

“If you don’t care, I do.”

“Ja?”

“Ja.”

Of course, she cares. Yet, he wasn’t about to abandon his plan that easily. Unless she had a better one, he wasn’t going to heed her advice any longer.

“Let me go in.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Listen to me-“

“No.”

He was reckless, yes. But not reckless enough to send her into the building. He knew the risks, and he wouldn’t take the one that could potentially lead to losing her.

His chair was suddenly yanked back from his desk. In an instant, he found himself pinned to the wall, her foot next to his shoulder, blocking him from moving the chair back to its original place.

“If you won’t listen, I’m going to make you listen.”

Kaz's face suddenly reddened, the close proximity and her position evoking an unexpected sensation within him.

Saints.

"If you go in there and something happens, we both know you won’t be able to make it out." she stated firmly. “This is not the way to take down Rollins.”

He was in no position to deny it. He wouldn’t make it out, that was for sure. His leg had been bothering him for the last month, which had also made him slower. Made me weak.

“I can. You know I can.”

With a swift move of his leg, he hit hers, causing her to fall to the ground sideways. This gave him the perfect opportunity to stand up.

Just like she had, he positioned his foot right next to her shoulder and leaned down, close enough so that their faces were almost touching.

“Not so fast now, are you?”

“Asshole.”

Help her up. But he resisted the urge to. Instead, with their faces so close, he said, “If risking your life to prove that you’re better is what makes you leave me alone, then do so.” And with that, he moved.

Her face displayed fury, brows furrowed, mouth in a thin line. But, he didn’t care enough to spare her a second glance. Instead, he sat back down on his chair and moved it back to his desk.

“You would be nothing without me, Brekker.”

“I disagree.”

“I taught you everything you know.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling.”

“I saved you. Don’t forget that.”

And just like that, she was gone, leaving nothing but the echo of a slammed door behind.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

I taught you everything you know. Her words resonated through his mind. I saved you. And she had. He couldn’t deny it any longer. It’s not like he ever had; he was just too much of an asshole to admit it to her.

No. No, no, no! He refused to accept that it was over. That she was gone, vanished in the blink of an eye. That she had died believing that he was ungrateful. Believing that he hated her.

He could never hate her; he loved- loves her. I love her.

Run. That was the only thing Kaz could think of. Run or risk her dying. So he ran. He ran, and kept running until his legs screamed at him to stop. Don’t stop. Keep running. And he did.

He ran until he reached the remnants of the building she had been in. The building I let her go into.

"Help!" he yelled at the rest of the crows, hoping they would start running and come to help him find her.

Dig. Dig. Dig, and keep digging. he urged himself, desperation mounting. Every rock he picked and discarded elsewhere only revealed more rocks underneath. No sign of her. Dig until your hands bleed.

It felt like an eternity before Jesper yelled at them, “She’s here!” Before Jesper even had the chance to finish what he was saying, Kaz had already gotten up and started running towards him. “Where?”

“Where, Jesper, where?”

Kaz’s gaze trailed along the path indicated by Jesper’s finger, only to find a bloodied hand underneath the rubble. No, no, no.

He swiftly dropped to his knees, fervently tossing rocks in all directions. Keep digging, were the only words in his mind.

Kaz could hear the sound of his gloves ripping, but in this moment, he paid it no mind. He persisted in his efforts until her top half emerged from beneath the rubble. “Darling?”

He could feel the ghosts of his past clutching at his back, attempting to drag him under the water. But he couldn’t let them. He wouldn’t.

Come on, Rietveld. His hands were shaking, and he could hear his friend calling his name, asking him to move aside, to allow them to pull her from beneath the rubble, but he ignored it.

He couldn't bear the thought of living without her by his side, without her guiding him through everything he longed to learn.

He couldn’t fathom the thought of never seeing her eyes sparkle or living without ever hearing the sound of her voice, the resonance of her laughter.

He couldn’t imagine a world where her stupidly beautiful smile never graced his sight again.

With shaky hands, he seized her from underneath the shoulders and pulled.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

Three fractured bones, two dislocated joints, a canvas of cuts and bruises, and head trauma.

That’s what the medik had told them. Those were her injuries. Injuries caused by my stupidity.

She must’ve been anticipating the collapse and realized that escaping in time was impossible. The medik also conveyed the belief that the position she deemed safer to take had ultimately saved her life. Smart girl.

To him, witnessing her so unnaturally still was a disconcerting sight, one he never wished to experience again.

In the time they had known each other, Kaz had only seen her injured three times, including this incident. Ironically, each of those three instances where she got hurt was somehow connected to him.

“Brekker!”

“Ja?”

“I’m going to murder you.”

He could see the fury in her eyes, and for a second, he entertained the thought that she might actually kill him.

He was well aware that he was breaking every rule she had set up for him. These rules were not akin to the ones parents give their children – no candy after seven, brush your teeth before bed, and so on. No, these rules, according to her, had been crafted to keep him safe, to keep him alive.

But he just couldn’t stop thinking about Rollins. He understood that venturing into the Dime Lions' turf was risky, downright foolish. However, he felt compelled to get a closer look at him, to learn everything about him in order to destroy him, to make him pay.

“One rule, Kaz. One rule.”

He was slightly surprised at how quickly she had found him. It hadn’t been that long, perhaps just an hour, including the time he spent walking from the Slat to the Emerald Palace.

“I’m fine!”

“You won’t be once I lay my hands on you.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a promise.”

He knew she was furious; he could see it in her eyes. He had observed that whenever a surge of anger swept over her, an intense glare would manifest, with a sharp focus on whatever had incited her wrath- in this case, him.

Her pupils would also dilate, at times with rapid changes in size, set against narrowed eyelids.

But still, he could sense her smile attempting to break through the anger. He watched as she fought against it, resisting the grin that sought to make its way to her face.

“Come here, you tall idiot.”

He had finally reached that age when it felt as if one night he went to bed shorter than her, only to wake up the next morning towering over. He liked it.

“Coming.”

What neither of them had been expecting was the shot that rang out as soon as he stood by her side.

Quickly and without thinking, he took her arm and pulled her behind the wall, providing them with a safe place to hide.

“That was close.”

“Kaz-“

“Come on, we have to go.”

“Kaz.”

Before he even had the chance to fully turn around, he heard the distinct sound of a body hitting the ground. When he saw her, he felt like he was trapped in a dream. Or rather, a nightmare.

He could hear her choking, struggling to breathe, gasping for air as her lungs filled with her own blood. He could see her desperately holding her neck, applying pressure in a futile attempt to staunch the flow.

He could see the pool of blood forming underneath her. Not just any blood, but her blood. “No.”

It had been nothing short of a miracle that he had the strength to drag her all the way back to the Slat without passing out himself.

By the time they made it back, she had lost all the color in her face. Her once pink lips were now tinted with her own blood. Her body had begun to grow colder, and his clothes were completely ruined.

The doctor had advised him not to hope for anything. He told him to adhere to the harsh reality that there was nothing more the doctor or anyone else could have done for her. That she might not make it through the night, or wake up.

“Kaz.”

“She will.”

“Hope is dangerous in the barrel, kid.”

“She will wake up.”

“Kaz?”

“She has to.”

And she had. So why won’t she wake up now?

“Kaz!”

“What?”

And just like that, he was snapped back from his memories, and reimbursed in reality.

“You need to eat something.”

“I’m fine.”

“You haven’t eaten a thing since…”

“Since the day she almost died because of me. Go on, Inej, you can say it.”

Inej’s gentle exhale echoed as she delicately set down what he assumed was a plate with food, before leaving. Her steps quiet enough for the subtle sound to blend seamlessly with the room’s stillness.

He permitted his thoughts to return to their previous dwelling as soon as the door clicked shut behind Inej.

Growing up with Y/n at his side was a privilege he didn’t often acknowledge. “I’m sorry I have taken you for granted.”

He meant it from the bottom of his cold heart when he said, “I genuinely know I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for you.”

The fondest memories etched in his heart were those shared with her, doing whatever they had been doing. He cherished every moment they spent together, even if he didn’t show it at the time.

I want to keep creating memories with you.

“Seeing you happy make my heart smile.”

It did, truly.

“There is nothing more that I want than to see you live the beautiful life you deserve.”

He couldn’t even remember the amount of times she had helped him. With anything and everything.

“Please wake up.”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

He succumbed to nourishment under the watchful eyes of Inej and Nina, relenting only after their threats to stabilize his racing heart and administer sustenance while he was unconscious.

Immobile, he had lingered by her bedside without the slightest shift since the day he carried her back from that ill-fated job.

It felt like it had been ages before his breath caught as he saw her stir, a subtle movement that held the weight of an entire universe of emotions. Her eyes fluttered open, meeting his.

“Y/n.”

In that instant, her radiant smile graced his world once more. He had yearned for this moment, the warmth of her smile rekindling a flame in his heart.

He didn't resist this time. All pretense crumbled, revealing a genuine smile on his face, a rare sight that echoed the warmth he felt in his heart.

“I am sorry.”

“Kaz-“

“No. You deserve this. You deserve an apology.”

Slowly, he moved closer, his bare hand extending toward hers. Unexpectedly, there was no tremor, no unsettling unease in his stomach, and the haunting echoes of the past seemed momentarily muted. It was a rare instance where Kaz felt a measure of control over his thoughts, his body, and the outreached hand.

“You saved me countless times, in ways beyond measure. Over and over again. You’ve saved me in more ways than anyone could ever fathom.”

She saved the shivering kid that had crawled out of the harbor. She provided refuge and became an ally.

“You gave me a chance. You gave Jordie a chance.”

She gave him control—over his body, over his fear. She provided him with armor when he needed it the most. A second skin—the gloves that would later weave a legend around him, making people fear him.

“You gave me peace.”

Throughout it all, she never gave up. Standing by his side for hours on end, teaching him the essentials of survival and imparting the knowledge crucial for his survival. And, not just that, she taught him everything he longed to learn. Things that had ignited the curiosity of a kid.

Over and over again, she defended him when he was too weak to defend himself. She shielded him from everything and everyone, regardless of the consequences.

“You stood by my side and never left. Even when I begged you to.”

She imparted the skills of combat, manipulation, and information extraction. She taught him the art of thievery and pickpocketing.

She nurtured him with care, ensuring his well-being in a world that often demanded too much. She prepared his favorite meals and gently reminding him to take breaks, to rest.

“You keep me young, healthy. Powerful.”

She offered him her shoulder to lean on when the burden became too heavy, not just once but repeatedly. Through it all, never once did she judge.

She was there for him, patiently listening to everything he had to share—plans, troubles, the past, the present, and the future. Through it all, she sat beside him and listened.

“You have grounded me on so many occasions and guided me towards a better life and a happier heart.”

She made his heart feel like it was beating again, as if it had come back to life. As if Kaz Rietveld had not quite died, but instead merged with Brekker and came out only with her.

“You are the most amazing person I have ever met. I am always in awe of your kindness and compassion for those around you.”

Growing up next to her had been nothing short of magical.

She's the anchor in his chaos, the silent strength in his storm, the guiding light through the murky waters. And despite the irritation she causes every now and then, he wouldn't have it any other way.

She was the one he wanted to love. Freely and without fear of what might happen. He wanted to love and be loved by her. He wanted to be by her side every second of the day.

He wanted to make her smile all the time. He needed to see her smile.

“I-“

Come on, Kaz. He wanted to tell her. He needed to let her know. He wanted to unravel the feelings he had kept hidden for far too long. “I-“ It was time to break free from the armor he wore, allowing himself to embrace both the love and the pain that might come with it.

“You…?”

“I love you.”

And in that moment, her smile was the only affirmation he needed, telling him that he had chosen the right words.

“I love you too, Kaz.”

Ghezen, that fucking smile.

[helloalycia]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] — 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀

two / masterlist / wattpad

summary: after befriending one of the Natblidas, you don't expect for her to become as important in your life as she is. But she's only on track to becoming Commander, so your feelings can never come first.

warning/s: usual warnings that come with the 100 such as mentions of violence and injuries etc.

author's note: okay so i've literally had writer's block for what feels like forever and this was requested a while ago. I've finally finished it (though i'm not content with the ending and couldn't for the life of me think of an alternative lol). Nonetheless, I hope you like it! It'll have two parts in total :)

also if anyone thinks Lexa is ooc, this is just how i imagine her to be growing up and pre-Costia okay, sue me

6 years old...

I followed my father as we approached the Tower in the centre of Polis. Apparently it was where the Commander lived, at least that's what everyone said, but I'd never actually seen him before. He was always protecting Polis, fighting enemy clans, hunting and other Commander-stuff – my dad said so – which was why he was hardly out in public.

For whatever reason, he was more of a figment of my imagination than an actual leader, but I'd never admit that aloud. Despite this, I always found his home – the Tower – very impressive, and whenever I'd accompany my father on visits, I'd be forever fascinated. My father was an apothecary and regularly made deliveries to the Commander's personal healer in the Tower, and so he always brought me with him.

I followed him through the winding corridors and past some guards dotted around and then we reached the healer's room on the ground floor. As usual, I was told to wait outside whilst business was conducted, but this time it took longer than usual. I heard laughter from inside the healer's room and figured my father and the healer were having a nice catch up which, from experience, would take forever.

Naturally, I wandered off momentarily, down the familiar hallway and peeking through open doors. My eyes drew to a particular room that was filled with a dozen or so young children, near enough my age though some a little older, and I knew who they were instantly.

The Natblidas.

I'd seen them around before on previous visits and also heard a lot about them from others in the city. They were black-blooded and able to take the Flame that the Commander had. Only those with black blood could be a Natblida and next in line for the throne once the Commander passed. They were scouted constantly, brought in from all different clans, trained to fight in Polis and eventually fight in a Conclave once the Commander was dead. The last one standing would lead next.

It was a difficult concept to grasp, especially so young, but I knew enough to know it was important. I didn't know any of the Natblidas personally, but whenever I saw them, I was always intrigued.

"What are you looking at?"

I jumped, startled at the voice from behind me. Turning around, I was ready to defend myself in case I was about to get in trouble, but all my words betrayed me once my eyes landed on the young girl before me, no older than I was. She was a little taller than me, had long curly brown hair and the brightest green eyes I'd ever seen. I wasn't sure what was so different about her to other kids I'd met, but I was certain she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen in my little life.

"Hello? Do you understand me?" she asked in fluent Trigedasleng, quirking a brow.

"I– yes," I answered quickly, acutely aware of the butterflies in my stomach. Though, at the time, I'd never experienced butterflies so I wasn't sure why I felt like I was floating. "Sorry. I was just waiting for my father. He delivers medicine to the healer."

She crossed her arms, eyes looking me up and down with an air of maturity that other kids in the city didn't possess. "What's your name?"

"Y/N. What's yours?"

Her eyes met mine again, though this time her shoulders relaxed. "Lexa."

I smiled a little, offering out my forearm as I'd seen my father do whenever greeting others. "It's nice to meet you, Lexa."

She did the same, gripping mine and shaking it slightly. "You too, Y/N."

"Are you a Natblida?" I asked curiously.

She nodded.

"Wow," I muttered without meaning to, and then a small smile graced her lips and the butterflies only intensified.

"I have to get back to class," she said with a hint of amusement. "Will you come back? Next time? With your father?"

I nodded a little too quickly. "I always do."

She pressed her lips together, nodding, before moving past me to return to her class. But not before glancing at me once more, saying, "Goodbye, Y/N. See you next time."

I stupidly gaped at her, managing to wiggle my fingers in a goodbye wave, before catching the sparkle in her eye as she closed the door behind her.

I suppose you could say that was where both my friendship and crush on Lexa truly began.

It was from that point onwards where I would see her almost every time I visited the Tower with my father, which was, at most, a couple of days a week. Between finding moments to chat whilst my dad did his job or watching her train with the other Natblidas, it was safe to say my crush, and our friendship, blossomed with time.

I learnt about her experience as a Natblida, including how she'd been there the longest of all the other kids because she'd been brought to Polis as a two-year-old and had been training since. It explained why she was so mature for her age and why she took her role as a Natblida with the utmost seriousness. Nonetheless, she was still a kid like me, and that was why it was so easy to befriend one another.

She asked me tons of questions about my life, since our day-to-day responsibilities differed so much. Her days were filled with training, learning and shadowing warriors, whereas mine were filled with shadowing my father, learning about medicine and exploring all there was to know about the human body. I wanted to be a healer when I was older and so my dad was preparing me for that all he could.

It was easy enough to become closer to Lexa, so much that she began sneaking out to spend more time with me outside of her Natblida responsibilities. It was easy enough since she was practically a top student, so nobody ever suspected a thing.

And that was how we became best friends.

—

8 years old...

"You should let me train you more."

I scoffed and pushed Lexa off me with my sword, making her laugh as she backed up. She had the afternoon free from her Natblida responsibilities, so we were training together in the woods so she could get the extra practice in but also spend time with me.

"I'm not the one training to be Heda, so I think I'll stick to medicine," I retorted knowingly.

She rolled her eyes playfully before getting into a stance with her sword once more.

"This isn't fun for me, y'know," I reminded her as I, too, got into a stance. "Can't we go swimming now?"

She swung her sword just as I finished my sentence and I was quick to raise my own, otherwise my face would have been sliced in half.

"Soon," she got out between swings.

I struggled to keep up with her, not as accustomed to sword fighting as she was. Sometimes it was easy to forget this was all she knew, and our ideas of spending time together were very different.

She swung her sword with force, knocking mine from my grasp. I watched it clatter to the ground before hers found the tip of my chin with satisfaction.

"Not fair," I grumbled, and her grin was staring across from me, mischievous glint matching the glint of her sword.

"It's too easy," she said between a chuckle, before lowering her sword.

I feigned annoyance as I went to grab my sword, picking it up from the mud it landed in. This gave me an idea and I began to smile to myself as I grabbed my sword, as well as dipping the tips of my fingers in the mud.

"Your fighting is very good, Lexa," I complimented her, standing up and approaching her. "But you have to be fierce if you're to be Heda. Didn't you know that?"

She furrowed her brows, almost offended. "I am fierce!"

"I think some face paint would help," I said nonchalantly, using her momentary confusion as opportunity to swipe my mud-covered fingers across her cheek with a grin.

She squealed as she stepped back, eyes scrunching shut. I laughed at her expression as she wiped her cheek subconsciously, only spreading the mud further across her cheekbone.

"There," I spoke with pride. "Perfect."

Her bright eyes met mine competitively, an attempt to intimidate me, but I knew her long enough to find it anything but. Soon enough, her pursed lips curved into a smile and she was laughing alongside me.

"I suppose I deserved that," she admitted, shaking her head.

"You could actually wear some war paint though," I said after studying her face a little longer, both from genuine awe at how pretty she looked, even after training, and pure curiosity. "It suits you."

Thinking I was teasing, she shoved me back slightly, and I chuckled at the pink dusting her cheeks.

Looking back, it was how we discovered she actually did suit war paint, and it did indeed make her look more fierce. I was touched when I saw her wear it properly from then on out.

—

12 years old...

"Lexa, slow down!" I exclaimed, hands gripping her waist tightly.

Her laughter rang through the trees as she continued to ride her horse quickly, galloping through the forest and back to Polis. We had gone on a horse ride and picnic for lunch, or more of a late afternoon snack since it was the only time she could sneak off, but she always purposely rode fast, knowing it made me nauseous and dizzy.

Eventually she slowed down as we approached the edge of the city, coming to a halt by the west entrance. As soon as we stopped, I let go of her and slipped off the horse dizzily, leaning against a tree for support.

"I hate you," I mumbled, trying to steady myself.

"No you don't," she said between laughter, jumping off her horse and holding the reins.

I glared at her, half joking, before taking a deep breath. Once I was sure I wouldn't vomit, I straightened up, ready to walk the rest of the way.

"C'mon," she said, voice void of teasing and a gentle smile on her lips as she held out her hand.

I sighed but accepted her hand, letting her pull me to her side as we walked together. It was quiet as we walked through the city, though steadily getting busier as we approached the centre. As we walked, I remembered I wanted to share something with Lexa. It was actually the whole reason I wanted to hang out with her today, but the day got away from me and I completely forgot to mention it.

"So, I have some good news to share," I said, glancing over at her.

She quirked a brow, intrigued, returning my stare.

"My father set me up with a volunteer position," I started, pocketing my hands.

"Wow, really?" she asked excitedly, stopping to give me her full attention. "Where?"

I smiled a little, appreciative of her genuine interest. She knew I was trying to get some sort of official volunteering work from a skilled healer so I could learn.

"Well, you know how he delivers to the Commander's healer regularly?" I hinted playfully.

Her eyes widened slightly. "Really? You're going to be working with the Commander's personal healer?"

My smile widened as I nodded bashfully. "Yeah. It's only temporary, but–"

"Y/N, that's amazing!" she cut me off with a bright smile, before pulling me in for a hug. "I'm so proud of you!"

My whole face grew warm as she hugged me, not expecting it at all. It was safe to say I still had a huge crush on her, but I was too afraid to say anything, so it was little moments like these that I'd cling to with delusion.

"Who knows? Maybe when I become Commander, you can be my personal healer," she said once she pulled away, emerald eyes meeting mine with amazement.

I chuckled, shaking my head at her overexcitement. "You'd be sick of me by then, Lexa."

She glared at me playfully, shoving me in the shoulder. "Never."

I sighed, rolling my eyes with a ghost of a smile on my lips. Secretly, I hoped we'd stay in each other's lives forever. But neither of us knew what the future held, even if we liked to plan it out anyway. 

—

14 years old...

The volunteering job I took with the Commander's personal healer turned out to be more permanent than I thought, as even two years on, I was still working with him and learning more than I ever could have learned anywhere else.

Doing so meant I was at the Tower every day, learning about different medicines, which thankfully I knew a lot about already because of my father, and first aid. I was learning stuff my father couldn't teach me, like cutting out an infection or cauterising a wound. And those were just the little things.

Being at the Tower so often also meant I saw Lexa more and more, without having to find time around her busy schedule. Of course, it was quite literally that – seeing each other and that was it. She was still training as a Natblida and I was still working as a volunteer, but catching a glimpse of her smile every now and then was enough to leave me on cloud nine for the rest of the day.

Of course, as Lexa's cohort grew older, it meant the pressures were getting stronger, and it was certainly having its effect. The last place I expected to see Lexa one afternoon was knocking on the door to the healer's room.

"Lexa," Nyko, the Commander's healer, noticed her first. "Is everything okay?"

Lexa avoided his eyes shamefully as she stepped inside. "Yes. Well– no. I was out hunting and a wild dog bit my arm..."

Only when she said that did my eyes lower to her forearm that she was clutching, black blood staining her sleeve.

"Come in, come in!" Nyko encouraged, before giving me a look that I knew all too well. "Y/N, will you…?"

I was already making a move to clear a space on the bed for her, though this time I was more concerned than usual for our newest patient. In my two years since volunteering, Lexa had never needed to visit. She rarely got injured and when she did, it was never anything serious.

She took a seat on the bed, stretching out her arm on the table next to her for Nyko to take a better look at. I stood beside him, though my eyes were trained on her. She was avoiding my gaze, distracted and seemingly unbothered by her wound. This was very unlike her and I had a million questions on the tip of my tongue.

"I'm sorry, dear, but I'll have to cut your sleeve," Nyko said gently, to which she barely shrugged in response.

My attention fell back to her arm, where Nyko was uncovering her wound with some scissors to her sleeve. It was a nasty bite with sharp, deep teeth marks and a black bloody mess left in its wake.

As usual, Nyko began to explain what he was doing as he did it, cleaning the blood and disinfecting the wound, which elicited a soft groan from Lexa. Then he began to spread an ointment over the top to stop any bacteria infecting the area further before holding out some bandages towards me.

"Think you can wrap her up?" he asked.

I nodded, accepting the bandages and trading places with him. Carefully, I wrapped her wound and taped it off, glancing at her as I did. She still wouldn't look my way and it concerned me.

"Looks good, Y/N," Nyko complimented, patting me on the back, before glancing at Lexa and noticing her distracted self too. "I'll be back. Need some more water. You okay here?"

It was obvious what he was doing, knowing a little of our friendship, and I appreciated it massively. Nodding his way, he offered me a small smile before leaving the room.

"Lexa," I said softly, squeezing her hand gently to earn her attention. "What happened?"

She sighed. "I told you. Dog bite."

"I know that, but... how?"

She shrugged, letting go of my hand and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "I was a little distracted I guess."

I frowned, taking in her expression. She looked more tired than usual, her eyes darkened with fatigue.

"You can talk to me," I reminded her. "It's me."

She licked her lips thoughtfully before finally lifting her gaze to meet mine. She stared for a moment, as if debating whether to share how she was feeling, before saying, "Anya asked me to be her second."

Unsure if I'd heard correctly, it took me a second longer to respond. "What? She– what? Lexa, that's– that's great! Isn't it?"

Anya was one of the Commander's most esteemed warriors, having risen through the ranks so quickly at such a young age. For her to recognise Lexa's talent and ask to be her mentor was huge! So, what was the problem?

Lexa creased her brows as she looked down to her hands, one of which was already picking at her bandage subconsciously. I placed my hand on hers, stopping her, and she paused but didn't look up.

"What if I'm not good enough?" she said in such a quiet voice that it didn't sound like it belonged to her.

I raised my brows with disbelief. Lexa was never one to doubt herself, ever. She had no need to! But it made sense why she was so distracted lately. She'd clearly been putting a lot of pressure on herself.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked.

She gave me a disapproving look, upset.

"Lexa," I spoke truthfully, resting a hand on her shoulder. "You're seriously one of the most talented Natblidas there are. Clearly Anya recognises as much if she asked you to be her second."

"I know, but–"

"It's not a test," I told her, eyes flickering between hers. "She wants to make you better. To teach you all she can so you can go on to win Conclave when the time comes. You want that, don't you?"

She nodded weakly.

"Then you're going be okay," I reassured her. "You're more than good enough and she should be lucky to have you."

Lexa swallowed thickly, still uncertain. "Aren't you biased?"

I couldn't help but laugh a little. "Probably. But I also know that everybody sees how amazing of a warrior you are. You're seriously talented. You're intelligent. You're everything the future Commander needs to be. You shouldn't doubt yourself."

She blinked, eyes softening at my words, and I knew I'd said the right thing. Standing up, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me tight, tucking her head into my shoulder. I smiled slightly, returning the hug and rubbing her back.

"Thank you," she muttered, not quite breaking away just yet.

"I mean it," I replied, holding her for as long as she wanted me to.

After a moment, she pulled apart, though her hands lingered on my shoulders for a moment, and mine on her waist. My eyes naturally fell to hers, enamoured by the flecks of gold in her irises, and then I started to admire how beautiful she looked, how she was growing into her features more and more every day. For the first time since knowing her, I really wanted to know what it would be like to kiss her, and that's when I knew I was in too deep.

She had the weight of her world on her shoulders, and the responsibilities of a Natblida weren't light. The last thing she needed was her friendship in ruins because I couldn't keep my thoughts to myself.

"Now, please get some rest and pay attention on your hunts," I said with an awkward smile, taking a subtle step back to distract myself from thoughts of her. "You worried me with this injury of yours."

She cracked a smile, looking down shyly, only intensifying the butterflies in my stomach. "I will. Sorry."

She was my best friend, nothing more. I had to keep telling myself that, that was all.

—

16 years old...

The day that nobody expected had finally arrived. It was a day like any other, myself working with Nyko in the Tower – I was officially in his employ as of last year – when word spread about the Commander's passing.

He'd died in his sleep last night, succumbing to wounds from a battle with Azgeda that took place days ago. It was shocking, since Nyko and I had done all we could and genuinely believed he'd pull through, but his body wasn't as young as it used to be so it only made sense.

His death meant Conclave had to take place immediately, the following morning, and the first person who came to mind was Lexa. I wanted to go see her as soon as I could, but there was no time because of all the preparations that were taking place. All the Natblidas were off limits until the morning, so I couldn't stop by until then.

I thought I'd missed my chance when I slept in and realised the first fight was to take place within the hour. Relief spread through me when I spotted Lexa following some other Natblidas down the hall in the Tower, no doubt to join the rest of them on the battle grounds. I wasn't too late.

As soon as her eyes found mine, they widened with surprise before she slowed down her steps, letting the others walk past her subtly. I joined her side instantly as they left the hall, the two of us meeting in an embrace.

"I thought you weren't coming," she said uneasily, making my heart prick with guilt.

"I'm sorry, they wouldn't let me yesterday and I was running late this morning," I explained apologetically, pulling apart to meet her gaze. "I could never not come to see you, Lexa."

She swallowed visibly, nodding. Though she was as prepared as could be for Conclave, it was still a daunting experience and she seemed nervous.

"You're going to be fine," I told her, taking her hands in mine and squeezing them. "And when you become the Commander, I'm still going to be here for you. Like always."

"If," she corrected.

I shook my head. "You're going to win, Lexa."

"Luna is just as good," she pointed out.

"And you've trained longer than her," I retorted. "Longer than any of them. You can do it."

She pursed her lips, exhaling through her nose.

"I'll be watching front row," I said, eyes darting between hers. "Waiting for you when it's over. When they announce your win."

Her jaw tensed uneasily. "If they don't, this'll be the last time we speak."

I tried my hardest to keep smiling for her sake, but the truth of her words hit me hard. I didn't doubt she wouldn't win, but in the tiniest of chances she didn't, then I'd lose her for good. And then what? Who would I have left?

"We'll speak again," I said with certainty.

She wasn't as confident as I was, her gaze faltering, lip trembling ever so slightly. "But if we don't, Y/N, I... I need you to know that you mean the world to me."

"Lexa, don't–"

"No, just listen," she said firmly, squeezing my hands. "I never had a family. Anya is the closest I have, but it's not the same. Not like it is with you. I couldn't have done this without you, Y/N. Any of it."

I scoffed, teary-eyed at her words. "You definitely could've."

"No," she disagreed, licking her lips.

My heart soared in my chest at the way she spoke, like this would be the final time. It couldn't be, and yet– what if it was? What if this was the last time I could ever tell her the truth about how I'd felt about her all these years? She just opened up to me, so shouldn't I? Could I?

The words were stuck in my throat, as they'd been since I first met her. I wanted to tell her the truth, even if it was the last thing I ever said to her, but I couldn't. I was a coward, as always.

"What is it?" she asked with concern, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I smiled sadly, shaking my head. Even as she watched me with a tender gaze, I couldn't bring it in myself to ruin this. Not now, not when it could be our last moment together.

"Nothing, now come here," was all I said, pulling her in for a final hug so she couldn't see the tears slipping from my eyes.

Maybe a coward was all I would ever be.

—

It was no surprise that Lexa won Conclave and was crowned our new Commander. Even as I watched her fight, occasionally faltering at the swipe of a sword or a lucky punch, I didn't doubt she wouldn't make it. My heart was in my throat a few times, sure, but she always pulled through.

That same evening, she received the Flame in a private ceremony, whilst the rest of the city celebrated the appointment of their new Commander. Meanwhile, I was counting down the minutes until I could finally go and visit her, congratulate her, hold her.

It was late, well into the night, when I was finally allowed upstairs to the Commander's quarters – Lexa's new home – to see her. As soon as the doors opened, I pulled her in for a tight hug.

"You did it," I breathed out with relief as her hands wrapped around my waist. "I knew you would. Congratulations, Lexa. Or should I say Heda."

She chuckled slightly, also relieved, and didn't let go of me just yet. Finally, after a moment, she pulled apart and met my gaze. I couldn't help but notice the cut on her lip and the bruise darkening around her left eye. A small price to pay for the win.

"I have a surprise for you," she said softly, not letting go of my hands.

I tilted my head, confused.

She continued, "You've been working your way to becoming a healer, like Nyko. You're almost there. And as Heda, I'll need my own personal one."

"And you have one," I reminded her. "Nyko."

She shook her head, a soft smile tugging at her lips. "That was the previous Commander's. I need my own and Nyko said he trusts you. He will still work for me, but I want you to be mine." I quirked a brow, and she quickly corrected with pink cheeks, "My personal healer, I mean. I want you by my side like we always said."

I swallowed hard, taken aback. "Are you sure?"

She laughed, the room brightening at the sound. "Of course I'm sure!"

I exhaled quietly, smiling all the same. It was hard to believe what she was saying. Yes, we'd discussed this as kids, but I never saw it actually happening. And so quickly? She'd only been crowned Heda hours ago!

"I'd love to," I said appreciatively.

Her smile widened, eyes sparkling with excitement. I almost got lost in the shades of green and gold, heart soaring at the fact that she was still alive, mostly unhurt, the new Commander and right by my side again. The high I was on was unmatched and I truly considered lightening the load even more by telling her the truth about my feelings for her.

But it was the wrong time. She'd just been given a massive responsibility. I couldn't add to that. And I'd been rewarded with so much, including her safety. I needed to be grateful for what I had, not risk ruining it with what I didn't.

[yanderes-galore]

I’d like to see some yandere romantic concept for Sunset Shimmer from MLP please! I love her so much I need something for her! 😍

Can confirm as a fellow Sunset Shimmer fan I adore her too. Been awhile since I've seen Equestria Girls so I'm sorry if she's OOC. This concept takes place in the Human World since I don't do much of those.

Took a classic yandere take with this. Not fully proofread, expect mistakes!

Yandere! Sunset Shimmer Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Fear of abandonment implied, Jealousy, Stalking, Clingy behavior, Violence, Threats/Threats of murder, Brief blood mention, Kidnapping, Isolation, Forced relationship.

Obviously Sunset Shimmer's yandere type changes depending on if she's a villain or not.

I'll be looking at reformed Sunset Shimmer in this concept, so her after the first movie.

She is the leader of the group when Twilight isn't in the human world.

She's in charge of any magic spikes or magical problems in general.

She knows not a lot of people like her due to what she's done... but she's trying to get better!

She's trying to build her confidence and acts very kind to those around her.

She writes to Twilight often about her findings.

She's intelligent and compassionate... but can lose her composure and temper easily.

Sunset Shimmer tries her best to be a good person... she even manages to make a new friend.

You!

My idea was that Sunset Shimmer's obsession makes her relapse into her old behavior a bit.

She's better now but occasionally might find herself giving into a more selfish and manipulative side.

Her relapsing is unnoticeable to her at first... but soon she realizes it the more she's around you.

When she met you she realized you two get along well.

You often hang out at each other's homes and play games, talk, and just enjoy each other.

Soon Sunset Shimmer starts to develop feelings for you....

You have no clue about her true origins as a Unicorn but she doesn't really plan on telling you... right off.

She's still curious and stunned by her new feelings towards you.

She... she hasn't felt so warm towards anyone before... let alone like this.

She struggles on if she should let Twilight know about such a thing.

Speaking of which... Sunset Shimmer, as Twilight's student, may have a similar yandere type to the princess.

She wants to learn all about her new feelings, she notes everything down about you...

Perhaps even follows you around to an obsessive degree.

She plays it all off as just being clingy.

After all... she's been through a lot... so surely you'll forgive her, right?

Originally doesn't mind you around her group of friends... but soon she ends up jealous.

She may eventually try writing to Twilight... saying she feels overly obsessive and controlling towards you...

However... maybe midway through the letter... she stops.

Why should Twilight know?

What if Twilight sees her affection for you as a bad thing.

What if she takes you away?

As a result, Sunset Shimmer never tells Twilight.

Sun Shim's friends get concerned when they see her always ask about you.

She even glares at people around you... a fire igniting within her whenever she sees others speak to you.

Eventually Sunset Shimmer may give into her darker desires.

The demonic grasp on her heart appears again.

Soon she's threatening others around you and slowly controlling you to spend more time with her.

She tries to ignore the violent thoughts she has... but soon she may act upon those too.

Eventually she confesses to you... opening her heart to you in hopes you'll accept.

If you don't... she doesn't take it well.

In fact... her heart tells her to take you.

To tie you up... to lock you away...

To hide all the evidence of her obsession... no matter how much blood is on her hands.

She apologizes next time she comes to your home... knocking you out and catching you softly.

She doesn't tell a soul once she takes you home and sits you on a bed.

Twilight doesn't need to know... her friends don't need to know...

If anyone asks she'll get rid of them.

You two are meant to be together... she just knows it.

Her dark desires pour into her heart once again... she can't help but kiss you softly when she sees you wake up.

To your dismay... it doesn't seem like she changed at all from before... she's still a selfish demon who only cares for herself in the end.

[nottakingresponsibility]

Welcome to the horrors, time to turn right.

"Hello there, I'll be posting out of my own free will, do whatever, don't expect me to be nice to you." [ooc introduction below the cut, triggers, tags, RULES! Cause apparently I have to have those?? etc. Be warned. It is a lot, however, at the very least the rules are required to read. If you don't want to check the tags, this is to minors specifically, block the #responsibilityisforgotten tag.]

OOC here!! Waves. This is pre-crash, by the way! He's already aware of the Jimmyverse. You guys did this. About the mod! I am 18! Mainly go by he/him anyways, so this is fine! I'm not too great at socializing, but anyone is welcome to interact with me or Jimmy, it's always welcome!! Ocs and other fandoms included, of course! I can't guarantee I'll know anything about said fandom, but Jimmy won't know shit either so it works out, right? I do not support Jimmy's actions. I'm gonna make that clear here and now, I just enjoy his writing, and want to explore him as a character. He'll also be mean a lot, that's just how he is I fear. Obviously lots of swearing. Uh. I do that a lot. Hi. Also, JimCurl is the only ship I tolerate with Jimmy in it, and it will show up on this blog. I have a tag for it, don't worry! I know those men are awful for each other, and I would portray it as such. Even through Jimmy's twisted, unreliable perspective. I don't really have much of a DNI, other than the basic criteria. If you have to ask what that is, you probably shouldn't interact with me anyway. I highly encourage other blogs to interact with me!! It's really fun roleplaying and getting to know people. :] Roleplay wise, pretty much anything is on the table as long as everyone involved is having fun. I should let you know this, if I don't respond to you it's nothing personal!! I just genuinely don't know how sometimes :[. Also, I've been kind of inactive as of recent! Please be patient with me. If I may add, I do NOT roll with the 'oh Jimmy is STINKY!! And SMELLS bad and has BAD hygiene!!' insults or whatever. My version of Jimmy has mental health issues, and he struggles with taking care of himself. It's a projection from me, I also struggle with taking care of myself so it kind of annoys me when people antagonize that. Thanks for understanding! Just to make this clear as well cause someone asked before, minors are allowed on this blog, yes, but they need to stay away from anything suggestive, and if it's found out a minor has asked anything weird, they will be blocked for their safety. Triggers and warnings you can expect on this blog. Obviously, the basic Mouthwashing triggers first off, but there's more! Jimmy has backstory and lore, wow. Well, in my version of him anyway. By that I mean, you can expect other things such as: Child abuse, child neglect, abuse in general, just Jimmy being Jimmy, self harm, sui ideation, sui in general, self harm thoughts, derealization, obviously just violence all around, manipulation and such, bugs, s/a themes, emetophobia stuff, eating disorder implications, alcoholic themes, death, murder, body horror, blood, cannibalism, I'm not sure if it's needed yet, but sometimes things do get suggestive, so be warned about that, too. There's a lot of things that happen here that I don't have an exact warning for, things happen in roleplay you can't predict. Just be wary and cautious, I'll try to put a warning before I write anything like that. Most of this is just based on things that may happen to Jimmy in the future. I'll update this if I missed anything!! Stay safe :] RULES. That's it, click that. Also! Anon list! Click that as well, not required this time around though! My tags and what they all mean! General tags!

#responsibilityhateshim: Jimmy answering his asks! #responsibilitytolerateshim: Jimmy answering his asks, to a person that has shown up often, so a regular! #responsiplay: Roleplay threads, or at this point it's just in character reblogs. #responsible[crew member name]: Roleplay thread or in character reblog with a specific member of the Tulpar crew! Or, you know, Polle. #jimmysrunningagain: My ooc tag! When this tag is used, it means I'm talking, not Jimmy! I also use () around my words! #jimbobsresponsibility: The JimCurl tag, things with this have either heavy implications of, or direct JimCurl in them. #responsiblelore: Lore tag! Things important to Jimmy as a character, things that may help you torture him further. #responsibilitytalks: Just a general Jimmy talking about things or doing things tag, when it's not in reply to an ask and it's not a reblog. Often open to roleplays with them if you want, though! #writingresponsibly: Jimmy posts where he's writing in his journal instead of actually speaking! These posts will also have all the journal written text in purple! #responsibilityisforgotten: For suggestive and ...possibly worse! Things, if it ever is needed. So minors, and people uncomfortable with that, please block this tag.

#musicalshenanigans: When people send music links to Jimmy or me! So be free to scroll around if you're looking for music.

#whimsyartjourney: When other people send in art! I just think it's neat. I don't draw, this isn't for me! That was a lot, right? There's more. Specific event tags! Aka, shit happens to Jimmy that can be classified as a special event, here's a tag for it. (psst. You can cause events too, if you play your cards right!) #lostlizardtales: That one time Jimmy lost his pet lizard, Ray! (He remembers this.) #truthpotionhorrors: When Jimmy accidentally drank a 'soda' that turned out to be some sort of truth potion, so he couldn't lie! (Doesn't remember.) #jimmyschildishresponsibility: When Jimmy got turned into his child self for a while. (Barely remembers and just thinks it was a weird dream.) #drinkingresponsibly: Seemingly, without any alcohol at all, he managed to get intoxicated, apparently. He was not very good at talking, he fucking hated it, actually. (Barely remembers, heavy blanks in his memory.) #truthcursethe2nd: Jimmy got cursed to say the truth for 5 asks I fear. A few of them were extras because they were already answered before this event, either directly or indirectly. (He does remember this one.) #jimmytriescursing: That time Jimmy got cursed to be incapable of swearing, instead getting forced to say the most insane bullshopperoonie things. (He remembers this one.) #jimmysofafeather: CURSE OF RA. (Actually just Jimmy becoming weirdly obsessed with birds for 15 asks but that's what inflicted it.) (He remembers this one. Regrettably.) Person specific tags! Tags for specific characters, (like ocs, mainly) I just think it's fun! #washout: Kaleb Doran/Smokey tag! Aka that one Fallout oc that's Jimmy's frenemy! ...And also has a lot of other insane things going on! (atombombskilledtheradiostar) #lawsuitscalling: Brianne Cohen tag! Aka head of the legal team, being dragged into her job while just barely tolerating anyone she contacts! (exhausted-lawyer) #notholdingliability: Polle? Intern that just gets mistaken for the mascot. A lot! Not responsible for any of the crew's mistakes, of course. (pony-express-official) #wateranon🌊: Water Anon tag! Literally just a sentient ocean that gave Jimmy his lizard, Ray! Jimmy has grown attached without really meaning to. (wateranon) #doubtingresponsibilities: Jimmy's very own voice of self doubt! Or, rather something else. Either way, only in his mind to make his life hell. (broken-bridle) Cause that's who Doubt really is, technically. Woahh. (lots of lore in that tag) #steveman27⛏️: Self explanatory I think. Steveman27 tag, yes the Minecraft character. No you are not mistaken. (steveman27) #crossingtheuniverses: A ship full of certain characters you may or may not be familiar with, but it takes place in the Mouthwashing universe! Applies to every conversation that takes place with anyone part of said universe. (starlight-stables) #responsibleseal: I will probably never use this, but it's fun to mess around with this critter anyways. ( @local-seal ) #commitmentisaresponsibility: Jimmy has a girlfriend holy shit. Well, kind of. I'm not sure if I'd consider it canon to his character, probably not. But either way she's there! Commitment isn't his strong suit, I fear. (stoopidpigeonxx) #gaininghopefulthoughts: Hope! Kind of. Jimmy isn't taking that well. In fact, probably taking it in the worst way possible. He's so used to problems he refuses to have it ever. (Not sure who to credit this for 😭 same mod that made Doubt and broken-bridle though) That's all! Stay safe and have fun interacting! :] Jimmy death counter is at 17 by the way. None of them canon.

[undyingmedium]

RP BLOG CONTENT GUIDELINES Bold all that apply to you and your blog. Italics if you’re on the fence about something.

MY BLOG IS _______

open to all - semi-selective - selective - moderately selective - highly selective - exclusive - only going to rp with mutuals - mostly going to rp with mutuals - indie - affiliated with a group - spoiler free -spoilers tagged - spoilers mostly tagged - not spoiler free

I WILL RP WITH ______

any fandom - most fandoms - only fandoms I know - only people in my fandom - ocs - ocs with no fandom ties - ocs who are related to/know my character in their backstory - only one version of any particular character - people who have the same muse as me - people who do not have a rules page - multimuse blogs - people in rp groups - indie rpers

I WILL SHIP WITH _______

no one - anyone - chemistry - select ship - ocs - others of my own muse - crossovers with characters from different fandoms - only one version of a particular character - one person in my main certain verses - multiship - one main/canon ship within my main verse

MY BLOG WILL CONTAIN ______ IN ITS CONTENT

fluff - angst - gore - violence - smut - blood - torture - shipping - death - dark humor - assault

I WILL FOLLOW ______ BACK

everyone - only some people - most people - only people in my fandom - every rp blog - people i actively wish to rp with - people who do not post a lot of ooc - people whose posts i am comfortable with on my dashboard

TO RP WITH ME, YOU SHOULD _______

follow back - answer an open - message me ooc - message me ic - make a starter - answer my starter - send in a meme - like a starter call

OTHER

i practice reblog karma with memes - i expect reblog karma with memes - i expect my rules/about to be read - i always read the rules/about before following/interacting (but I'm very forgetful so I do my best) - if you follow me, i would like nsfw tagged - i expect all smut to be beneath a read-more (or have a mature rating ) - i am a multiverse blog -i am multi-muse - i do not wish for my ooc posts to be reblogged - i do not wish for my threads to be reblogged by those not involved - i expect post length to be matched - i expect icons/gifs to be used in a reply if i have used them - i don’t expect post length to be matched, but I will try to match yours - i am patient when waiting for replies and expect the same courtesy

Stolen from: @hauntedreality

Tagging: @steel-and-fire @witches-and-weirdos @windwithinmyveins @never-surrender @deaddoveadventures @aquatic-hybrid and whoever else wants to do it!

[cryyelan]

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐔𝐓 — 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢 𝐲.

expect bad/inconsistent writing — tws/cws: violence, gore, abuse/bullying, mahito, mc is a lil wack (but I love her) attempted suicide, death, LOTS of angst, also OOC!!

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 — CH 0

canon divergence — some pov switches + a time skip.

AS FAR as you can remember, you never exactly fit in with other people, you looked like any normal person at your school, however your social life was completely different.

it didn't help that loneliness digged its claws deep in your flesh, an agonizing sensation it was. Thousands and thousands of needles pricked at your heart as you watched your peers happily converse without a care in the world.

Every interaction you had with someone either ends awkwardly or the conversation just stops, making friends felt so foreign to you — friendship is like a forbidden fruit, but not like you wanted it anyway. The smell of your peers is disgusting, the scent of perfume, cologne and sweat mixing together as you sat down on the ground behind the school, leaning against the wall.

It was the only solace you had next to sitting on the rooftop benches, it's not often people go up there anyways — mostly because of such a turn off to stay around it is. The sight of dead leaves and litter didn't bother you.

But was it cruel for you to constantly think about your classmates as the trash that oh so nicely decorated the rooftop? Especially — wait what was her name again? oh wait..

Any mention of her name made your blood boil, why was it that Ayane of all people chose to target you? You followed every step there is to being a lonely middle school girl, as if there's an imaginary checklist.

No friends? Check.

Nonexistent social life? Check.

You were just like any normal person, why? why is she doing this to you? You did nothing that made her feel wronged, you stayed out everyone's way, yet like an apple on a head, you were bound to be an arrows target. You couldn't help but think about earlier.

Jeers and cruel words were exchanged as your body was pushed back against the wall as fluid met your face.

Ayane towering over your frail form, giggling maliciously as she watches you wipe her spit from your face.

"Jeez, [Y/N]! I didn't know you were such a loser!" The girl laughed as you get up, dusting off your uniform. "No need to speak the obvious, Ayane." The boy behind her piped up. "Shut up, Shigeru! Go back to smoking with your shitty ass friends, Let me deal with this freak first."

She hissed at him before turning her gaze back to you. "You better not forget my cigarettes next time, otherwise I'll get him to beat you half to death." Ayane snickered, staring at your bruised body. You struggled to stay up, leaning against the wall for support.

"Rotten bitch.." you muttered under your breath, wiping off blood off your mouth and chin.

"What was that?" She growled, eyebrows furrowing.

"Nothing." You spoke. "Hmph, that's what I thought."

"Whatever, don't forget what I said, pest." Ayane growled before leaving for the first floor, her companion following right behind.

You were now left alone again, but you couldn't help but wonder.. the names she called you. They stuck like gum on a shoes sole.

Pest?

Freak?

Is that what people thought of you? A pest? A freak?

Fatigue starts to course through your veins as you lie in your bed, just why are you letting yourself be treated like this? Where is your backbone, [Y/N]? Don't let her push you around like this. You don't have a shoulder to cry on— well, more like you do if talking to a picture of your long deceased friend and alongside a hospitalized mother and a father who's 'always' away for business, never paying attention to you.

It was the only comfort you had, if anything, But made you feel more isolated. But Ayane's words remained. Were you a freak for crying yourself to sleep every now and then? Were you a freak when you talked to the pictures like someone was there? Were you freak for pretty much existing?

You couldn't help but wonder before falling asleep. You could only hope for the best tomorrow.

A COUPLE MONTHS LATER

APRIL 30TH, 2018 — TOKYO

SUNLIGHT peeked through the blinds as your eyes flutter open before squeezing them shut again.

"Today is a special day."

You gently sighed as you get up from bed, walking towards the bathroom to change out of your nightwear and into your uniform, well — it wasn't just a uniform you had on. You had a crimson hairpin that stood out in comparison to your black hair.

"Special Day.."

Despite it today being your first day of high school— well in Tokyo, your mind couldn't help but wonder about her.

Ayane.

You had witnessed her decomposing corpse first hand — Chunks of her face, torso, and right leg were gone, maggots and flies feasting on her already seemingly eaten body.

But it wasn't the fact she died that lingered in your mind, but how. You couldn't help but feel wonderfully disgusted with your fascination.

Was it a cannibal who killed her? A rabid animal perhaps? As far as you know, the bites appear as human nor animal.

You pondered as you applied crimson lipstick on your (l/c) lips.

You weren't bad looking any means, actually pretty good looking. You wonder if anyone would talk to you, unlike your 'unattractive' middle school self.

It was a new school therefore new people, it's not like anyone would recognize the same girl who was bullied to buying cigarettes for her classmates who have no business having them in the first place.

You leave the bathroom to sit on the couch. 'What is time is it' you thought for brief moment before getting up and leaving to the front door, stepping outside and sitting the porch. The air outside wasn't exactly the most pleasant. The scent of garbage and mildew next door was repulsive.

Your nose scrunches as you recognize where the scent is coming from, the house next door.

It was home to a man in his late 40s, he wasn't particularly well liked among his neighbors, primarily due to his 'strange' behavior.

You once heard him frantically speak to your neighbors about seeing creatures — devils, monsters at night, watching him sleep.

It wasn't like you didn't believe him, but you felt like he was blowing things way out of proportion, they're harmless!

You couldn't help but want to pat the old man on the back, what's going through his head? The creatures are perfectly normal, they make great company too.

Speaking of old people...

Oh, mom and dad.

You already guessed they weren't going to be home for a while, He often leaves for work, barely ever appearing home unless hes there to gather paperwork and run errands.

Although both of you are family, your father treats less like a daughter but more like an acquaintance, and of course, you sort of in your own words — return the favor. As in barely talking to him. It was the exact same with your mother, except you never actually see her as per shes hospitalized due to a disease.

You always found them to be quite an odd pair, sometimes you'd overhear your fathers conversations on the phone, something about debt..

If he was in debt then why'd he pay so much money to move into a city expensive as Tokyo?

Whatever kind of business he had, to you at least, it didn't make sense to you that a nearly middle aged man to always be away from home and pretty much never interact or gave a shit about his daughter. But it seems like the most forty-nine year old thing to do. Maybe you weren't raised right, or maybe you just suck.

You snap out of thought as you left the front yard, leaving for school.

You're still fairly new in this city, family moving from Sapporo, you could only hope to cross your fingers for things to go smoothly along the way.

Maybe things won't be so bad.

Not even an a few minutes in, you're feel like you've already lost your way.

You look like an idiot if anything, guess you could never beat the clueless allegations. You walked your way through city as you pass shop after shop, cafe after cafe, time seems to move slow as your mind remains empty.

But while you continued pretty much explore the city, an individual had caught your eye.

You didn't get to see him for too long, but as far you can remember, he had white hair, and a blindfold..? Can he even see through that? Not to mention you felt pretty uneasy around him. Man, Tokyo is full of weird shit.

'Did I forget something?'

Perhaps you did, as now you stand in an unfamiliar neighborhood, the area becoming dark as the sun sets, did you really skip school?

Yeah, you did.

You squinted your eyes as you spot something moving in the distance, what is it?

Your eyes widen as the creature got closer, only realize it was same creature you had first seen upon moving to Tokyo. It had dark yellowish green skin, dirty beige hair running along its back, and a serpent-esque body but had four, smalls nubs serving as legs, as its face contorts into a smile, baring its human— in appearance, teeth.

"Motherr!!"

The slurred, feminine voice cried out as the it approached. You stare at creature practically wriggling its way towards you.

"Motherrr.. am I ugly..?!..."

It spoke again, the feminine voice sounded pained. As its body stops just a solid six feet away from you, close enough to get an even better view of it.

It had far to many eyes to keep count, they were at least as small as a cats. It was far, far uglier than the last time you saw it. A loud, piercing cry sounded out as the entity wriggled even closer. You couldn't help but sort of sympathize with it to some sorts..

"I know, I know. I'm ugly too."

You spoke blankly at the creature, blinking. "Not." You blew a raspberry as you lightly put on your lower eyelid playfully.

You decided to a take steps foward, closing the distance between you and the ugly thing.

You crouch down to its level as continues to wail. "You're not too bad looking, but wow— you're hideous~" You said in a sing-song voice, only to cover your ears as it suddenly screamed.

"I'M NOT UGLY!! I'M NOT UGLYYY!!!!"

"YOU'RE UGLY!!"

Your face twists into a scowl it was spoke as you were pushed down as the creature backed away, the sound of cracking and tearing of flesh fill the air as your face scrunches up in disgust at the sight before you. It's body contorts in uncomfortable positions as the nubs it had for legs stretched into long, human-like arms, flesh tearing in the process as purple blood splattered on the ground, some of getting on your uniform.

'Shit..that's going to leave a stain..'

it's many, many eyes gaze met yours as one, massive eye appears out of its sludgy skin.

It is a special day after all, right?

"You know, I've lived long enough to know I deserve far better than this!" You yelled out at the screaming creature. You thought these fuckers were normal! What the hell?!

You swore you just started to contemplate your entire life and your shitty choices.

Seriously [Y/N]? When was last time you ever learnt from something?

Last time you learnt something was the last time you saw her.

And this sure as hell wasn’t your first encounter with death, Joy and horror were the only things you felt that day.

[Y/N]’S POV

"YOU SHOULD SMILE MORE, [N/N]!" Aina called out, roughly pinching my cheeks, in attempt to make me smile. "What do you want, Aina?" I responded, getting her hands off my cheeks.

"I just wanna see you! You're being a little distant lately." She said, almost scoldingly. "If you ever need something, tell me!"

I couldn't help but smile at her words, I'm glad somebody like her exists.

"And there shes goooes.. shes smiling!" Aina said teasingly. "Now let's get out of here, it's getting late and you wouldn't want your parents to worry!" She took my hand as we ran our way through the hallway and to the entrance where our lockers are at.

"And don't forget to change your shoes, silly!" She quipped.

I opened my locker and started to change my shoes until the comfortable silence was cut off by Aina.

"Hey, have you heard about Hashimoto going missing lately?"

My blood ran cold as she spoke those words. Hashimoto —missing?

"Hashimoto... She went missing..?" I uttered under my breath, but was loud enough for the taller girl to hear. What could've happened to her?

"Yeah, even that boy that always with her too." She responded, voice hushed. "You seem close to them, no?"

"We were close, but not anymore." I scowled and turnt towards her direction. "Okay, I don't know what happened between you both but I won't pry." She gave a soft smile as she waited by the open doors.

I put my indoor shoes in the locker and closed it before turning towards brown haired girls direction, her hazel eyes meet mine.

"Want me to walk you home? Just so you won't go missing?" The taller girl asked as she looked at me with almost pleading eyes.

"No thanks, I can handle myself." I turned down her offer.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "Yes, I am sure — I promise I'll be safe." I said.

"Alright then, you better pinky promise!" She said proudly, holding her pinky up. "No pinky promise — we're too old to be doing this." I responded. "You're never too old to make a pinky promise!" She beamed with stars in her eyes. Damn it, who am I to reject her?

"Fine, I pinky promise." I deadpanned, holding out my finger.

Our fingers joined together only for a few seconds and only to pull away as Aina giggled.

"Well then, I'll see you tomorrow! Stay safe [N/N]!" She waved off and ran off until I couldn't see her anymore.

I pulled out my phone and checked the time, my fingers against the cracked screen.

'Three-Forty Five? Should be barely anyone here..'

I put my phone in my book bag and exited the building, walking to the gate.

My home is rather far from the school, it was solid thirty minute walk at least.

As I walked home, I saw a couple of those creatures again, they were a variety murky and bright colors and strange features, big and small — and they didn't seem to stick around any longer as if they were scared of me. I kept on walking until I stopped on my tracks and scrunched my nose. The scent of iron filled the air I notice a trail of blood

I looked in the direction of where that scent was coming from.

'The forest? Did somebody get hurt?'

It didn’t help that my home was quite far from any public area outside of a bad neighborhood.

But how did somebody not notice this?

Something was begging me not to follow the trail, but the other in the back of head was beckoning.

But I was curious, far too curious.

I followed the trail, only to stop in my tracks again. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run away — But I couldn't.

It was none other but her body in front of me.

Ayane Hashimoto.

I was at a loss for words I saw her rotting body.

How...why...

Who did this?

And why?

I took a step back and turned away from the sight of the body and began to walk away.

I lived long enough to know I deserve better.

I deserve so much better.

I am about to die, yet here I am thinking about the past. Why am I just remembering who my friend is? Why am I just remembering all those horrible things that have happened to me so long ago?

I wonder if anything I've done for anyone meant anything. I wonder what everything I've said meant anything. I wonder if I meant anything to anyone at all.

I suffer because my decisions, but why do I regret them? It's not like it'll happen again.

It's not like it'll happen again at all.

I closed my eyes as the creature attacked me, only to feel nothing at all.

Huh?

I opened my eyes only to hear the sound of crunching and splattering.

There was something else present.

I looked at the creature being eaten and took a closer look.

It was a mantis..? A rather giant one.

It had black, splotch-like markings with red in the center, it looked far different than any other mantis I’ve seen, not to mention its size.

It continued to eat the serpent-like creature as pained wails sounded out before being completely drowned out by the sound of squelching flesh and the cracking of bones.

It wasn't too long until the carnage stopped, the remains of the being disintegrating as it let out one last cry before completely disappearing altogether.

I laid there in shock — just where did it come from?

I flinched as the mantis cocked its head in my direction, before approaching me.

Its bloodied body moved faster than I thought as its large massive eyes met mine.

It seemed to do a nodding motion before its body began to evaporate into steam.

Just what was that?

"Nice shikigami you got there." A deep, masculine voice spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence. I cocked my head to look back at the figure behind me.

He had spiky, white hair and a blindfold, but one thing that really made me wonder was his height, just how tall is this man?! How many times has he hit his head on doorways?

My eyes went as wide as saucers as I realized — this is the same man I saw earlier, passing by a bakery.

I glared at him, pointing a finger.

"Who are you?”

@bridemiko — if you see any of my work published outside of tumblr, quotev, and wattpad — its most likely not me!

[clippedwingsmuses]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎" 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐲? "‎‎

canon divergent multifandom multimuse - private - indie - penned by crowmun please see my rp tracker before asking about replies that i owe

musing characters from: danganronpa, pokemon, my little pony, genshin impact, sonic the hedgehog, cookie run, minecraft diaries, kung fu panda, friday night funkin', steven universe, five nights at freddy's, murder drones, && kinitoPET

muses - rules - about mun + exclusives & mains - verses - credits - promo tags memes - headcanons - drabbles - permanent starter calls

a study into the effects of: psychological torture, mental & emotional abuse, abandonment, depersonalization / dehumanization / derealization, murder, violence, hypnosis, toxic/unhealthy relationships, suicidal thoughts, cult ideologies, religious trauma, mind controlling, experimentation, genocide, neglect, stockholm syndrome, imposter syndrome, moral ambiguity, vampirism, && debilitating anger please be mindful when threading / viewing, as many of these triggering topics are relevant to the backstories / worldviews of my muses and will be reflected in their thoughts. most topics will be tagged with '[topic] tw' if / when they appear.

i swear a lot ooc, and my characters (primarily surge & kokichi) will do the same. i can tone down the swearing ON REQUEST or based on the rules of my mutuals. swearing will ALWAYS be tagged when it shows up.

other blogs: @mirrormazemuses (oc multi, HEAVILY UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

affiliates: @snowypetalsmuses

rules under the cut for mobile users

Typical roleplay etiquette applies here. No godmodding, no meta-rps, no powerplaying/controlling my muse, & don't be a dick.

This blog is PRIVATE, meaning that I only roleplay with mutuals. -- This is a sideblog! I follow from S00THS4YINGZ0DI4C. -- Wanna break mutuals? HARD BLOCK ME! I'll forget otherwise.

Personals will be hard-blocked unless they have a RP sideblog.

I will not roleplay with minors because of my blog's themes.

Proper grammar and punctuation are a must when threading with me.

I exclusively do LITERATE roleplays, typically multi-para in length.

You don't have to match the length of my replies, nor the speed at which I reply! However, I expect more than a sentence or two reply.

If I have not responded to our thread for TWO WEEKS+, tell me! -- Similarly, if you have not responded to our thread for more than THREE MONTHS without notice, I will consider it dropped.

This blog will deal with mature themes, but I will not write NSFW. -- Content leaning to NSFW will fade to black, no exceptions. -- I will not engage in mature themes with minor/aged up muses.

If you write content intended for pr*shippers, or you are one, leave.

I will not roleplay fight sequences unless they are heavily plotted.  -- If our RP is edging towards a fight, please talk with me first so we can discuss where it goes. I will do the same to you.

I am MULTISHIP, so I will ship my muses with multiple characters. -- Every character that I RP with will be set in their own verse. -- Please ask before including other people/muses in our verses.

I am more than willing to write pre-established relationships! -- I will not write pre-established romantic or familial relationships, unless I know you personally.

Don't reblog memes/threads/musings/aesthetics from me.

Specify verses/muses when sending starters/asks! See my verses HERE. -- The main muses of my blog are KIERAN, KOKICHI, KATSUTOSHI, and KITSUNAMI. I will respond as them by default depending on their activity.

I only ship characters in the same age group, including aged up muses. (Ex.: No Scoots x Mane 6, even in the post-finale verse)

If you read these rules, please send an ask with 'I will heal you'. -- I'll also accept you liking my pinned as sending the password.

my blacklist: images of bugs / blood/gore / body horror / spiders, unsanitary jokes

[cantevenbeachhere]

Ken’s quick RP policy guide

Thanks for the tag @writingsinashes

Bold all that apply to you and your blog. Italics if you’re on the fence about something. Feel free to add anything I may have missed in the appropriate category, or recategorize something that is in the wrong place!

My blog is _______

Open to all - Semi-selective - Selective - Moderately Selective - Highly selective - Exclusive - Only going to RP with mutuals - Mostly going to RP with mutuals - Indie - Affiliated with a group - Spoiler free - Spoilers tagged - Spoilers mostly tagged - Not spoiler free

I will RP with ______

Any fandom - Most fandoms - Only Preferably fandoms I know - Only people in my fandom - OCs - OCs with no fandom ties - OCs who are related to/know my character in their backstory - Only one version of any particular character (depends) - People who have the same muse as me - People who do not have a rules page - Multimuse blogs  - People in RP groups - Indie RPers

When RPing, I like to use _______

Paragraphs - Shorter forms of text -  *Action* - Icons - Gifs - Gif icons - Formatted text- Whatever my partner is using - My own style regardless of my partner’s reply

I will ship with _______

No one (currently focusing on self improvement and friendships right now)- Anyone - Chemistry - Select ship - OCs - Others of my own muse  -Crossovers with characters from different fandoms - Only one version of a particular character - One person in my main verse - Multiship - One main/canon ship within my main verse

My blog WILL contain ______ in it’s content

Fluff - Angst - Gore - Violence - Smut - Blood -Torture - Shipping - Death (maybe?? Depends??) - Dark humor - Cheating - Assault

I will follow ______ back

Pretty much everyone - Only some people - Most people - Only people in my fandom - Every RP blog - Only people I actively wish to RP with - People who do not post a lot of OOC - People whose posts I am comfortable with on my dashboard

To RP with me, you should _______

Any of the following -> Follow back - Answer an open - Message me OOC - Message me IC - Make a starter - Answer my starter - Send in a meme - Like a starter call - Send me an ask starter

Other:

I practice reblog karma with memes - I expect reblog karma with memes - I expect my rules/about to be read - I always read the rules/about before following/interacting - If you follow me, I would like nsfw tagged - I expect all smut to be beneath a read-more - I am a multiverse blog - I am multi-muse - I do not wish for my OOC posts to be reblogged - I do not wish for my threads to be reblogged by those not involved - I expect post length to be matched - I expect icons/gifs to be used in a reply if I have used them - I don’t expect post length to be matched, but I will try to match yours - I am patient when waiting for replies and expect the same courtesy

Mmmm…I don’t really have RP friends sooooo umm…

//so Malibu Mun will pass to the other half of her brain @antvnger

[thebestlangston]

ENTER: The Man.

Hah, you're askin' me! Nah, man. I dunno what the fuss is all about this time. There's always somethin', you know? Part of being Aaron Langston, I guess. They're always hoppin' on my back for no damn reason. But it's good fun, keeps life from getting too borin'. Do you have anymore questions in your back pocket, sweetheart, or can I finally go back to enjoyin' my own party?

AFTER THREE YEARS IN FRANCE — how fancy! — Gotham's very own Aaron Langston come home at long last! What has he been up to since then? Well, here's a quick rundown!

Yeah, alright. Believe the big press if you will, but just know that they are full of —. They just type away on their fancy little keyboards about whatever the hell they want about whoever the hell they want, 'cause I sure as hell did not say whatever the hell they thought I said.

You wanna know the real story? Yeah, alright. I'll tell you the real deal:

My name is Aaron Langston (yes, like the Aaron Langston, hold the applause; I know I'm amazing). I am a twenty-three year old heir to a multi-billionaire company by day, and a super awesome vigilante by night.

I know what you're thinkin' right now. What's a pretty face like mine doin' in a business that could break my nose and mess up my entire face like that? Well, the answer's simple, sweetheart: I never wanted this job.

Believe it or not, I was goin' out on a walk! Just a fun little jaunt right through the streets of Gotham, hidin' in the shadows 'cause the paps are like blood hounds, I swear. And then, outta nowhere, I caught this guy doing uncouth things! On the streets of Gotham!

I was movin' before I was thinkin'. Beating the crap outta the guy was honestly just the right thing to do, 'cause the bad guy honestly had it comin' and sure it might be Gotham, but we can't just sit around and wait for the Big Bat to drop in and kick ass. We gotta take this — into our own hands sometimes.

Forgot about the mask and the hood, though (and fine, yes, maybe it happened more than once. So, what! The Bats can't be everywhere in Gotham, you know!). Now everyone's callin' me the Hound just 'cause I'm always wearing the same damn jacket with the three headed dog on it. It's my favorite jacket!

Sigh. But damn. Three years changes a man plenty. And yeah, alright, there is no way in hell I would've chosen this on my own. But what's a guy gonna do? Let people get hurt? Nah, man. This is my city, too.

── ✧ OOC UNDER THE CUT!

Hello! I am the mun! You may call me Flynn (they/them) and I am an adult behind the screen. Nice to meet you! This is the first time I'm taking a deep dive into DC rp (and rp in this style in general) so!!! I am navigating through this slowly.

Extra information on Aaron that he himself doesn't know (insider information, aha!): He is half-boy, half-god. This is less taking inspiration from Diana & the Amazonians, and more from Percy Jackson, to be honest (you don't need to know anything about it, though!). One day I'll make an actual Docs file for his information, but all you really need to know is that his parents are his adoptive parents and that his mother's sister is actually Aaron's blood mother, and he is sired by the god Ares. Therefore, Aaron is always going to have that streak of violence, righteousness, and war inside of him, no matter how badly he tries to fight it. It's ingrained in him. He can't fight it.

Obligatory disclaimer on Aaron's behalf: He's kind of a piece of shit. No, there isn't any real trauma that made him like this. He's just ... a freak, man. I don't know what to tell you guys. His story ties in a lot with REPRESSION, including that of his sexuality. Yes, he is into men. No, he is not okay with this. Neither of his parents are either, despite it being a 'lavender marriage' but they're both using the marriage to suppress their own queerness. So, wahoo! Expect that!

I don't mind writing for anything, be it one-liners & prompts, or heavy-narration & in-depth dialogues! My DMs and ask box are always open for discussions! NSFW stuff is something I'd prefer we discussed first, but suggestive stuff (Aaron is a bit of a whore & he's open about his sex-life even if he's repressing his sexuality ... sigh) are perfectly fine <3

[cybiirz]

ೃ⁀➷TO CLASH WITH MALICE

Gepard x Gn!Reader

Sypnosis : This celebration had been in the works for quite some time now. Everything was figured out until the very last detail, nothing would cause this event to go wrong. Well, a party isn’t fun without a party crasher right? Who would have guessed that both sides however, would come more than prepared. And when doing so, who would come out victorious?

WC : 3.1k (exactly)

WARNINGS (PLEASE READ) : Gepard is a little OOC in this. There will be a lot violence in this chapter and a fair bit of blood towards the end. I would also like to state that this is pretty much a filler fic. The only reason I have chosen to write this now is because I will be busy the next two days, and this idea has been on my mind for a while now. I wanted to show that I have chosen to go with a more independent reader and I believed a fight scene fic would be the best way. There is almost no actual interaction with Gepard and the reader, only for a very short time. This chapter will be optional to read but will be preferred if you do. I apologise for not adding more of his character, but I can guarantee that he will be the main event in the next! ALSO KIND OF BAD FIGHT SCENES WRITTEN UP AHEAD I THINK?

Read part 1 || part 2 || part 2.5 || part 3

Gepard’s little confession was certainly one that took you by surprise. Luckily, over the next few days, that thought had slowly dissipated from your mind as something else filled that hole instead. The night tomorrow was the viewing of some of Belobog’s most famous artefacts, thanks to the help of the History and Culture Museum. Pela had organised the majority of this event.

The only catch to this event was the fact that it was strictly only nobles, knights of high ranking and helpers specifically picked out by Cocolia who gained access to this event. There was one more thing that really made this little celebration stand out however. The dress code was surprisingly enough a masquerade ball, along with formal wear.

Why, you may ask? Because Cocolia was the one who would give the large speeches, and therefore be up on stage more. Mainly, heroic speeches, about the success of the guards who managed to push the fragmentum monsters back further, allowing the guards to progress more. It was actually quite a large step for the guards, so much so that many supplies had to be sent over in order to build entire new camps.

Now, masquerade, Silvermane guards, artefacts, how do they all link? Well, since this event was no doubtedly going to be in the newspaper for the next few days, Cocolia wanted to be the centre of attention, which is what caused everyone else to be wearing masks, whilst she would not. This would emphasise her more, that much was true. The formal wear would be a stark contrast to her as she had specifically requested that nobody else should wear the colour green, of any shade. And if anyone dared do so, they would immediately be banned from said event.

The artefacts however are linked towards the Silvermane Guards more than anything. The first helmet made, the first axe used to slay a fragmentum monster, so on and so on. But the one and only thing that stood out to you was the large chunk of geomarrow ore that would be displayed. Even just a small handful of that ore would provide enough money to feed an entire family for a week. Which is why you were dead set on carving part of the ore out for the Underworld.

There were about three problems, as expected, unfortunately. First off, your parents wanted you to attend the event, so you were officially put on the guest list, meaning you had to double cross this whole thing without anyone recognising you. The masks were convenient at least. Secondly, the place would be surrounded with guards, which only meant more planning on your part, and planning was one hell of a headache.

Last but certainly not least, Gepard was going to be there. It was assumed of course, but it only made it more difficult. Not only in having to sneak past terms, but also the fact that you had to do this pretty much right under his nose. Before never bothered you since he always came to the scene of the crime after you had taken everything, but now he was right there in the flesh. Not to mention he would be keeping a personal eye out for you as a friend.

All of those thoughts ran through your head as you stared at yourself in the mirror. Examining your outfit again, you tried to make sure the entire piece of clothing was in tip top shape. No wrinkles, creases, simply all prim and proper. You wore a short cape that reached your waist around your shoulders to hide the strap around your upper arm which contained a small revolver with spare ammo. The guards acted on instinct and all it took was a shot to the arm before they would back off. No one had to die tonight, that was never your plan.

After going over the full outfit, you grabbed the mask that sat on the wooden table top and placed it onto your face. Your eyes stared at the reflection as you considered yourself practically unrecognisable at this point. Eventually, you were brought out of your daze as you heard your mothers voice shouting for you. You rushed down the stairs as you began walking with your mother and father towards the Qlipoth Fort, as the event was going to be held there.

Before the three of you could go up the steps, you called towards your father to let him know that you had forgotten your family badge back at the house. He scolded you for a second before shooing you off to fetch it. Truth be told, you still hadn’t found the badge which you had seemingly lost, but it didn’t necessarily matter to you. After all, the old thing meant nothing to you, you couldn’t even be bothered to keep it in a good condition.

As you made your way home, you took a slight detour and went through an old alleyway which people mostly avoided at this late hour. There, you spotted a person who was your height and build as you greeted them. They handed you a bag as you moved behind a dumpster and got changed into the new set of clothes. After fixing your hair up into a different style, you handed your old clothes to the person. As you placed them into their hands you held them there as you spoke.

“Remember, you do not reveal your name under any circumstances unless you are with my mother and father. You needn’t worry about them, but if anyone asks you about how the family is doing, simply say that Cocolia is a good person and you wouldn’t be anywhere without her. Other than that, smile and wave, and be weary of the Silvermane Captain. His eyes and hair are recognisable, you know that. Avoid him at all costs, that’s all. Off you go,” You patted them on the shoulder as you texted Sampo a thank you and how you would also personally dismember him if this person was incompetent.

He simply sent one of his silly emoticons back with a little reassurance before you shut off the screen. After attaching the small gun back onto your arm strap, you made your way through the crowd and looked around for a way to get past the guards. You saw out of the corner of your eye a young chef who seemed to be wheeling a cake up the not too steep steps.

Pursing your lips together, you whistled for the oncoming chef. He quickly paused and looked to the right before you appeared on his left and pressed down hard onto his pressure point as he fell to the floor.

“I won’t ruin your cake bud, don’t worry,” You whispered down to the unconscious man. You quickly dragged him back to the alley way and threw on his ridiculously oversized coat and the toque as you left the mask on to conceal your identity.

After a surprisingly easy trip up the stairs, you nodded towards the guards as they nodded back and let you pass through. You brought the cake to the kitchen before sneaking off to the toilets. You threw off the old uniform and chucked it into a nearby bin before fixing yourself up and readjusting the mask.

Making your way out of the bathrooms, you stepped foot into the large ballroom. Everything here was neat and tidy, the decorations were simply so well done that they could’ve been straight out of a storybook. The food looked absolutely divine as did the people. Everyone had their own dresses, suits and the masks were to die for. And obviously the one face you could spot was Cocolia’s as she shook hands with a few of the guests.

Looking around, you spotted your temporary clone chatting away with a random person as you clapped for them internally. Suddenly, you spotted Gepard, he was hard to miss after all. He stood by the Supreme Guardian, keeping a watch out for any suspicious behaviour.

You pulled your eyes away from him as you slowly made your way over to the table which held all the food. You grabbed a glass and poured yourself a glass of Chardonnay. Walking away slowly, you made sure to keep your eyes on Cocolia and Gepard at all times. You saw the time and discreetly pulled your phone out and left one simple text.

“Now.”

Your impersonator had moved close to the coupe with the other which they were chatting with. You watched closely as another masked guest walked just behind them and quickly snagged a glass from the tower. The glasses of wine soon began to shake, which didn’t escape the Captain’s sharp eyes. Hearing him yell as he instantly pushed the clone out of the way along with their supposed date.

A smile creeped up onto your face as all eyes diverted towards the three. Still keeping a hold of the glass, you made your way through a side door as the guards rushed to check if there were any major injuries due to the outstanding acting of your other.

Making your way through the twisted hallways, you entered a dark room as the motion detector switched on the lights to brighten up the dark place. Looking around briefly at the artefacts, it was safe to say that they were not as impressive as you had hoped. Until your eyes finally landed on it.

There, placed conveniently in the middle, was the chunk of geomarrow ore, practically screaming at you to take it. You lifted your foot as you were about to take a step but quickly paused. “This seemed way too easy…” You thought to yourself as you quickly retracted your foot. Your hand reached for your gun as you held it by your side and began to walk towards the medium sized ore. Sure enough, there stood the Captain himself across from you, the only thing in between you two was the ore as he watched you, without his mask. He was accompanied by his giant weapon of a case.

“Ah! Captain, such a coincidence that we both wanted to take a look at these artefacts. Such deep meaning behind them, wouldn’t you say?” You asked with a smile as you placed the gun behind your back.

“It is over for you thief,” He stated boldly and straight. Soon enough, the rushing of footsteps could be heard as guards came running in through the doors holding axes, guns, spears, whatever you could think of, they had it. You raised your eyebrows as you looked around to see all of them in defensive positions.

“Wow guys, sure you brought enough soldiers?” You questioned no one in particular sarcastically.

“Like I said, it’s over, now do not make this hard for us and give up nice and slow,” His words were firm as a few officers began approaching you cautiously. You raised your hands by your head. This was just like the café, only more soldiers, more risk and certainly harder to escape from.

“Put down the weapon!” One of the soldiers screamed. Turns out in the midst of all the commotion, you had somehow forgotten of the very obvious gun in your hand. You let out a quick hum.

Six rounds, around 14-15 guards including Gepard. No reloads. You kissed your teeth after realising that you were going to have to be diligent with the bullets.

“Alright alright, I'll get on my knees…” You murmured as you slowly began to descend. The officers were pointing their guns to your head. Just as your knee was about to make contact with the floor, you swiftly pivoted on one foot as you shot each guard in their thigh as they cried out in pain.

You began to run whilst keeping your head low as multiple shots began firing at you. You swiftly ducked beneath a stand that protected you from the shots as you checked the gun.

4 more rounds.

Upon further observation, you spotted how there were only about 5-6 more soldiers with guns. The rest you could take head on. But you had to be careful. You were a thief, sure, but that didn’t mean you wanted to become a murderer for crying out loud.

You were quickly snapped out of your thoughts as you heard the grunt of a soldier who had snuck near you and was raising his axe. Your eyes widened as you swung your leg, swiping him off of his feet as he hit his head onto the floor, knocking himself out cold.

“You tryna kill me?!” You yelled at the remaining soldiers. Briefly, the sound of Gepard telling the officers to keep you alive filled your ears. Course he wants to, wants to lock me up for eternity.

You grabbed the barrel of the gun and sprung out of the case as you aimed towards another person, before a weapon fell and the officer held his shoulder crying.

3 rounds, a few more gunned guards.

You exhaled deeply as you peeked around the corner before hearing footsteps behind you. Out of reflex, you managed to roll to the side just in time as an axe came swinging down, slicing the wooden stand in half. Dramatic?

You raised yourself before delivering a kick to his abdomen, causing him to release his weapon and stumble back before you kicked him square in the head, sending him to dream to his heart’s content. Not permanently might I add.

Another shot was fired as you ducked down again. Still 3 rounds. But now, only about 9 guards, including Gepard. But it seems through this whole fight, he wasn’t dealing any blows. Good for you though, because if he did, this battle would’ve been over minutes ago.

You heard two of the soldiers closing in on both sides of you. One with a gun, one with an axe. Dashing towards the axed guard, he attempted to strike you before you turned to his other side. The other one pointed his weapon at you and was prepared to shoot.

Just as he pulled the trigger, you dragged the one next to you by the collar and guarded yourself with him. The bullet went straight into the soldier's arm as he wailed out like the others.

“No hard feelings!” You said nervously to the man on the floor before realising you still had another on your back. Raising the revolver, you shot at the officer. Unfortunately, it seems he chose to do the same. And due to the amount of precision in your shots, the bullets collided with one another.

The small bullets created an explosion of a miniature size, but it bought enough time for you. You ran towards the man and ripped the gun from his hands before knocking the barrel against his head.

Another guard ended up putting you in a chokehold from behind. You gripped onto his arm as you did your best to regain your breath before planting your feet. You grasped his arm as tightly as you could before flipping his body over and slamming him against the wall, his unconscious self sliding down to the floor.

You cracked your neck before turning around to spot another gunner charging towards you. Rolling your eyes, you shot him once again in the thigh. He fell just like the others. You checked the gun and spotted one more round left before someone aimed another shot towards you.

But it wasn’t one, rather two. Shit! You knelt down and remembered how there was one more guard than you had bullets. They were both standing next to each other which allowed you to go forth with this strategy.

You sprinted whilst keeping yourself low as you saw them hiding behind the stands. You leaped to the side and pointed the revolver towards them. Their heads turned towards you as they began to lift up their weapons. But you were faster.

You pulled the trigger as the bullets went through both of their sides as they held then whining out into the night time air. 3 guards left. All gunner guards down. Unfortunately now, you were also out of bullets. Now you had to rely on hand to hand combat.

Two of the guards began sprinting at you, pointing their axes at you. You kicked one of the weapons on the floor and caught it before blocking one of the officers' slashes. Lifting your leg up, you kicked the other in the side as he tumbled back. Whereas you had chosen to wrap your legs around the other's waist and flip him above you, slamming his head into the floor.

The kicked guard quickly stood up and saw his friend fade out of consciousness. Dashing towards you, he yelled about how he would end you as he reached his arm out. Tutting, you grabbed the reached out wrist and swerved him around as you placed his arm onto his back, as you held his free hand straight.

“You’re ambitious aren’t you?” You whispered into the man’s ear before twisting his arm. He shrieked and it almost pierced your eardrums before you let go and he held the injured body part. You stood up straight and gazed around for the final soldier.

In all honesty, you looked like absolute crap. Your clothes were slightly torn and the mask on your face was ajar. You adjusted it before he could recognise you. But the one thing that stood out, was that half of your face and your body had been dirtied with blood from the wounds of the soldiers. It was a whole murder scene, except it wasn’t. The officers crawled out one by one as they went to look for medical attention.

A slow clap could be heard from one of the doors before Gepard emerged from the shadowed doorway, holding his case.

“You certainly have talent, thief. It’s unfortunate you chose this path, even more unfortunate is how you look right now. But it matters not, as I will end this between us once and for all,” He stated as he raised his weapon, ready for combat.

Reaching up your hand, you wiped the excess blood off of the corner of your lips before retrieving one of the axes left on the ground. You slammed the end of the weapon down before pointing it towards him and you spoke in a low and serious tone for once.

“So be it Captain. If it is misery you have chosen, then allow me to bestow that upon you, Gepard…”

A/N : Whoohoo, third fic finished. I had so much inspiration to write this since I just rewatched suicide squad and birds of prey, so you can only guess who inspired me to create this. But I hope that the idea of a strong reader has come across well here and I apologise if this is not the type of reader you like. One day I will make a soft reader but I do not see many strong inserts being written so I decided to try and be one of em. Anyways, any critiques, feel free to leave and I will respond ASAP!