#ooc: thank you guys so much for all the support recently! it means a lot to me :)

[salemandco-mouthwashing]

ohhh small blog. happy sound. gives you a box of tangerines and disappears

Thank you so much for the tangerines! ^_^

Did you know that tangerines are my favorite? I love citrus fruits so much, but tangerines have always been number one.

Bye bye now!

[nottakingresponsibility]

Welcome to the horrors, time to turn right.

"Hello there, I'll be posting out of my own free will, do whatever, don't expect me to be nice to you." [ooc introduction below the cut, triggers, tags, RULES! Cause apparently I have to have those?? etc. Be warned. It is a lot, however, at the very least the rules are required to read. If you don't want to check the tags, this is to minors specifically, block the #responsibilityisforgotten tag.]

OOC here!! Waves. This is pre-crash, by the way! He's already aware of the Jimmyverse. You guys did this. About the mod! I am 18! Mainly go by he/him anyways, so this is fine! I'm not too great at socializing, but anyone is welcome to interact with me or Jimmy, it's always welcome!! Ocs and other fandoms included, of course! I can't guarantee I'll know anything about said fandom, but Jimmy won't know shit either so it works out, right? I do not support Jimmy's actions. I'm gonna make that clear here and now, I just enjoy his writing, and want to explore him as a character. He'll also be mean a lot, that's just how he is I fear. Obviously lots of swearing. Uh. I do that a lot. Hi. Also, JimCurl is the only ship I tolerate with Jimmy in it, and it will show up on this blog. I have a tag for it, don't worry! I know those men are awful for each other, and I would portray it as such. Even through Jimmy's twisted, unreliable perspective. I don't really have much of a DNI, other than the basic criteria. If you have to ask what that is, you probably shouldn't interact with me anyway. I highly encourage other blogs to interact with me!! It's really fun roleplaying and getting to know people. :] Roleplay wise, pretty much anything is on the table as long as everyone involved is having fun. I should let you know this, if I don't respond to you it's nothing personal!! I just genuinely don't know how sometimes :[. Also, I've been kind of inactive as of recent! Please be patient with me. If I may add, I do NOT roll with the 'oh Jimmy is STINKY!! And SMELLS bad and has BAD hygiene!!' insults or whatever. My version of Jimmy has mental health issues, and he struggles with taking care of himself. It's a projection from me, I also struggle with taking care of myself so it kind of annoys me when people antagonize that. Thanks for understanding! Just to make this clear as well cause someone asked before, minors are allowed on this blog, yes, but they need to stay away from anything suggestive, and if it's found out a minor has asked anything weird, they will be blocked for their safety. Triggers and warnings you can expect on this blog. Obviously, the basic Mouthwashing triggers first off, but there's more! Jimmy has backstory and lore, wow. Well, in my version of him anyway. By that I mean, you can expect other things such as: Child abuse, child neglect, abuse in general, just Jimmy being Jimmy, self harm, sui ideation, sui in general, self harm thoughts, derealization, obviously just violence all around, manipulation and such, bugs, s/a themes, emetophobia stuff, eating disorder implications, alcoholic themes, death, murder, body horror, blood, cannibalism, I'm not sure if it's needed yet, but sometimes things do get suggestive, so be warned about that, too. There's a lot of things that happen here that I don't have an exact warning for, things happen in roleplay you can't predict. Just be wary and cautious, I'll try to put a warning before I write anything like that. Most of this is just based on things that may happen to Jimmy in the future. I'll update this if I missed anything!! Stay safe :] RULES. That's it, click that. Also! Anon list! Click that as well, not required this time around though! My tags and what they all mean! General tags!

#responsibilityhateshim: Jimmy answering his asks! #responsibilitytolerateshim: Jimmy answering his asks, to a person that has shown up often, so a regular! #responsiplay: Roleplay threads, or at this point it's just in character reblogs. #responsible[crew member name]: Roleplay thread or in character reblog with a specific member of the Tulpar crew! Or, you know, Polle. #jimmysrunningagain: My ooc tag! When this tag is used, it means I'm talking, not Jimmy! I also use () around my words! #jimbobsresponsibility: The JimCurl tag, things with this have either heavy implications of, or direct JimCurl in them. #responsiblelore: Lore tag! Things important to Jimmy as a character, things that may help you torture him further. #responsibilitytalks: Just a general Jimmy talking about things or doing things tag, when it's not in reply to an ask and it's not a reblog. Often open to roleplays with them if you want, though! #writingresponsibly: Jimmy posts where he's writing in his journal instead of actually speaking! These posts will also have all the journal written text in purple! #responsibilityisforgotten: For suggestive and ...possibly worse! Things, if it ever is needed. So minors, and people uncomfortable with that, please block this tag.

#musicalshenanigans: When people send music links to Jimmy or me! So be free to scroll around if you're looking for music.

#whimsyartjourney: When other people send in art! I just think it's neat. I don't draw, this isn't for me! That was a lot, right? There's more. Specific event tags! Aka, shit happens to Jimmy that can be classified as a special event, here's a tag for it. (psst. You can cause events too, if you play your cards right!) #lostlizardtales: That one time Jimmy lost his pet lizard, Ray! (He remembers this.) #truthpotionhorrors: When Jimmy accidentally drank a 'soda' that turned out to be some sort of truth potion, so he couldn't lie! (Doesn't remember.) #jimmyschildishresponsibility: When Jimmy got turned into his child self for a while. (Barely remembers and just thinks it was a weird dream.) #drinkingresponsibly: Seemingly, without any alcohol at all, he managed to get intoxicated, apparently. He was not very good at talking, he fucking hated it, actually. (Barely remembers, heavy blanks in his memory.) #truthcursethe2nd: Jimmy got cursed to say the truth for 5 asks I fear. A few of them were extras because they were already answered before this event, either directly or indirectly. (He does remember this one.) #jimmytriescursing: That time Jimmy got cursed to be incapable of swearing, instead getting forced to say the most insane bullshopperoonie things. (He remembers this one.) #jimmysofafeather: CURSE OF RA. (Actually just Jimmy becoming weirdly obsessed with birds for 15 asks but that's what inflicted it.) (He remembers this one. Regrettably.) #criticalswap: Jimmy switched roles with Anya for ten asks! In this small time, he was never actually a co-pilot! Anya is, in that case. He was the nurse! Very fun to write I fear. (He doesn't remember this, what a shame.) Person specific tags! Tags for specific characters, (like ocs, mainly) I just think it's fun! #washout: Kaleb Doran/Smokey tag! Aka that one Fallout oc that's Jimmy's frenemy! ...And also has a lot of other insane things going on! (atombombskilledtheradiostar) #lawsuitscalling: Brianne Cohen tag! Aka head of the legal team, being dragged into her job while just barely tolerating anyone she contacts! (exhausted-lawyer) #notholdingliability: Polle? Intern that just gets mistaken for the mascot. A lot! Not responsible for any of the crew's mistakes, of course. (pony-express-official) #wateranon🌊: Water Anon tag! Literally just a sentient ocean that gave Jimmy his lizard, Ray! Jimmy has grown attached without really meaning to. (wateranon) #doubtingresponsibilities: Jimmy's very own voice of self doubt! Or, rather something else. Either way, only in his mind to make his life hell. (broken-bridle) Cause that's who Doubt really is, technically. Woahh. (lots of lore in that tag) #steveman27⛏️: Self explanatory I think. Steveman27 tag, yes the Minecraft character. No you are not mistaken. (steveman27) #crossingtheuniverses: A ship full of certain characters you may or may not be familiar with, but it takes place in the Mouthwashing universe! Applies to every conversation that takes place with anyone part of said universe. (starlight-stables) #responsibleseal: I will probably never use this, but it's fun to mess around with this critter anyways. ( @local-seal ) #commitmentisaresponsibility: Jimmy has a girlfriend holy shit. Well, kind of. I'm not sure if I'd consider it canon to his character, probably not. But either way she's there! Commitment isn't his strong suit, I fear. (stoopidpigeonxx) #gaininghopefulthoughts: Hope! Kind of. Jimmy isn't taking that well. In fact, probably taking it in the worst way possible. He's so used to problems he refuses to have it ever. (Not sure who to credit this for 😭 same mod that made Doubt and broken-bridle though) That's all! Stay safe and have fun interacting! :] Jimmy death counter is at 17 by the way. None of them canon.

[biconickyoshi]

Duuudeee I legit read your fic in like, two days ( I had to give in to sleep eventually) and it was so so good!! I love the amount of care you put into making the characters feel as close to canon as possible, and my gosh having Iroh in the Gaang healed me a bit bc it's nice that they have an actual adult with them to help them out,,, the old man just has too many secrets up his sleeve </33 Loved this so much it completely satiated my curiosity for the zukaang ship, i've always been avoiding most of the fics just because it's too ooc and also it's just straight up nsfw lol

Can't wait for the next chapter, hope you're doing well and thanks again!! Love your art :D

Omg thank you so much for reading, anon!!! It makes me so happy to hear how many people have been binging it recently, especially bc of just how long it is now (and we're literally about only halfway through the entire fic at this point lmao). I love that you guys are enjoying it that much!!!

And I'm also glad to hear you like Iroh being with the Gaang! Even though he's the only adult there, I still try to make sure that he allows the kids to have agency - like he's not a strict parent to them, he's a nice comforting familial figure that everyone can go to for emotional support lol. Also being the only adult does not mean he's the most mature by any means. He's just a goofy old guy (who has also committed some war crimes) :)

Funnily enough, I actually didn't even consider shipping Zukaang until 2021 when I started thinking about all of their parallels and intertwined destinies one day, and I basically thought "huh, if they were closer in age this would literally be one of the most iconic ships of all time". So I decided to write my own version of the story where that is exactly the case lol. But even in general, I am kinda surprised it's not a more popular ship - like their age gap isn't a problem at all once they're both adults (4 years is literally the age gap of me and my husband at ages 26 and 30), and there's a lot of potential for exploration in settings like my AU where they're only a year or two apart.

Also BTW (if you haven't read it already lol), I just posted a new chapter last night! :) Thanks so much for the kind ask, and I hope you have a lovely day!

[sprite-writes-fanfic]

Hey guys! I know it’s been awhile, so sorry! College is currently dragging me through the mud, but I’m working on a little something… I’ll give y’all a little spoiler…

Bink! Tadaaa~ I hope you guys are excited! Lately CoD has been my recent hyperfixation and tonight I just got real itch to just… Write some characters I liked! :3

I hope it turns out alright, I don’t usually do a lot of big games as I don’t wanna mess anything up, like doing OOC, but I’ve also really wanted to write so hopefully it turns out good! I like what I’ve written so far, and when it’s done I hope you’ll all like it too.

I love you all so very much, and thank you all for the support… Seriously! Thank you! I didn’t think my little side hobby would land me this far, but people really like my writing, and I’m surprised and just so very grateful you all do.

I mean, holy crap! I’ve made it this far because of all of you guys, and I’m grateful for this. To be able to write and people actually enjoying it is such a gift. Ever since I was younger, I’d write stories, roleplay; I’d story build, I’d write arcs for different characters, and I get to do it here now! Even if it is just romance and smut LOL.

I just wanted to say thank you, sorry for all the happiness I just poured here, again, I’m just grateful. People enjoy my writing, even when it isn’t always that great, people still love it and it’s just a joy.

I’m sorry for not always writing, as much as I could, college has been hard, and I can only think of what it would be like when I get into the job career I’m aiming for, but that’s for the future to worry about.

Either way, thank you all so much, sorry for the extra rambling! I hope you look forward to the CoD writing I’m doing, I’ll try and get it out by tomorrow, fingers crossed.🤞Goodnight everyone, stay safe out there, the storm already took out my power LOL. 😭

[dontcallmecarrie]

Hey, I vicariously live in my imagination to escape from the reality.

So, I have been wondering about the Rogues reaction to Tony defeating thanos, the IronSmaug, taking over the world etc...

Have a go at it, if you are interested.

It's also fine if you dont.

thanks, I really, really needed the distraction. it's been. an interesting week. not in a good way.

.

tbh, the whole 'what does Team Cap think about this mess?' thing in TWiFFON is...something I had originally been torn about, and everything that's been happening ever since means I keep finding myself going "do I have the energy to tackle this? lol no".

For some context, because you probably know my stance on this sort of thing but I prefer redundancy just to make sure we're on the same page: once upon a time, I honestly, genuinely did like the Avengers. All of them, and yes, that included Wanda [...for less than an hour, but still].

Back when I still had faith in the writers, I was constantly going "...okay, so when are these guys going to stop acting so OOC? Where tf are they planning on taking these character arcs?" and just being disappointed at each turn— but I stuck around because I liked the potential. Steve "what do you mean punching fascists isn't cool anymore?" Rogers, Natasha "my past is a tire fire and I'll just leave it at that" Romanov, Clint "where's Loki? Let me at him!" Barton and the rest of the group had their good points, and I gave myself a headache trying to figure out wtf was their thought process when the time came for them to do their thing in TWiFFON.

It wasn't fun, I only did it because it was absolutely necessary... and I still ended up receiving complaints.

Look: for me, character bashing is exhausting. I have enough going down in my life that I don't have any interest in writing it, and over the past few years I've seen more than one of the fandoms I follow/lurk in become salt mines that have me going "...okay, if you hate it so much, why are you even here?"

When I write, I try my best to emphasize the 'actions have consequences' thing I learned long before I hit puberty; but that doesn't mean I'm up for anything beyond that. Again, I used to like these characters, so seeing the levels of suffering canon— and some writers— put them through just has me stepping back for a moment.

But TWiFFON attracted a lot of people who were pretty far out there in terms of what they wanted, some of whom got very very pissy when it wasn't the story I wanted to write, which is...probably like 99% of the reason I'm still burned out on that AU. Apart from the recent personal life bs that means I am Not Up To Dealing With any hypothetical rando that shows up in my inbox, because normally I could not care less about what people think but my energy levels are. Um. Not great atm. Not sure I wouldn't bite anyone's head off if they wanted to start something right now, tbh, or just ragequit writing for a while because I have way better things to do with my time than deal with random internet assholes.

...apologies for the tangent, but now you know why that situation is one I'm normally kinda reluctant on tackling.

As for what I'd originally headcanoned:

Back before things hit the fan, I'd originally planned to have some little interlude snippets of what Team Cap's been dealing with. Mostly, it would've forced them to acknowledge that for all none of them liked or trusted Tony, he was basically just the personification of what the rest of the world thought of them.

Nobody respects them, anymore, or trusts them; Clint'd be in very hot water and sleeping on the couch for a while, and Hank Pym would never let Scott hear the end of his involvement in this whole thing because Hank hates the Stark name and the English language cannot concisely articulate just how pissed off he was that he had to publicly thank Tony.

Team Cap overall would also start to fall apart at the seams as more and more stuff came out and ey, turns out the leader they'd trusted and broken international laws for had lied to them.

By omission, sure, but honestly— do you think that'd go down well? The "oh yeah, I've known my brainwashed friend killed his parents since DC but I am not going to tell him unless I'm forced to" thing?

I don't know about you, but I for one highly doubt Sam Wilson would be okay with that. Or Clint, for that matter, and the list goes on because the more time passes, the more stuff keeps coming out of the woodwork and for the first time in years, they're forced to deal with it.

One of the things I planned to include in the sidefic can basically be summed up as "the curious case of Bucky Barnes": that is to say, what'd happen after he's taken into custody, and poke lightly at the clusterfuck we're unpacking here. Tony, feeling bad for losing control in the bunker, would basically go "shit I fucked up but I also never want to see him again but he's an even bigger mess than I am, that's a whole lot to unpack so you know what? I'm just throwing out the suitcase entirely here, have all the resources for support and help and if I ever see you again, it'll be too soon".

...to sum up, it's messy af. SI Legal would feature heavily because his particular case means he needs a team of lawyers, what with the 'former POW who's trying to recover from All The Trauma' thing, and the 'so I literally was just trying to buy some damn groceries when you guys dragged me into this', and Tony basically went "hey, so if anyone wants to help him, uh, I kinda have some interest in this one. Fair warning, dude probably killed Kennedy while mind-controlled, with our luck".

And along the way, there'd also be some of that one subplot I'd cut due to pacing issues: specifically, the one dealing with prosthetics.

Remember how Miriam Sharpe said her son would never walk again? Yeah, we'd be revisiting that: her family'd get a letter or something inviting them for clinical trials, and meet Rhodey in passing as he's using his own leg braces to get around because he's still healing. Bucky would get a few design offers for a free replacement for his arm, and it'd probably end up being a collab with Wakanda because T'Challa feels bad for his role in that mess as well.

So Team Cap would be seeing this, seeing how everyone's acting and reacting, and the way one of their own is getting all the help and support Stark Industries has to offer and realizing that yeah, they messed up. Big time.

...depending on my salt levels and how close we're sticking to canon, I was thinking this'd go one of two ways.

Either they'd double down and just go "ugh, Tony is a supervillain and we can't do anything about it!" while TWiFFON marches on and then later go "...you mean he did it by accident?!", or...

Well, canon's proven character development and continuity isn't really in their writers' vocabulary. So my original idea of 'they're forced to deal with the reality of the situation, acknowledge they messed up and slowly move on with their lives' would've been very unrealistic.

Again, most of this is intentionally vague, I had not been keen to tackle that mess in TWiFFON in the first place and the way things exploded on me means I really, really don't have the energy to do so now. Not when there's far better things I could do with my time, like mess around with AUs where people actually get along, or knit, or— well, the list goes on.

[its-all-ineffable]

Loki fandom...you exhaust me...

This is gonna be long, and full of swearing, because I'm just so tired of all of you. All of you people in this fandom. I can't believe you guys are actually real.

I just...where to start? You know what, with Loki x Mobius shippers. You're the main fucking problem. You watch one exclusive clip, and you decide that Mobius is awesome and him & Loki are definitely a ship. That's fine. You can ship who you want to ship, and like who you want to like! Mobius looked like an interesting character, and there was potential chemistry with Loki.

What fucking pisses me off is that most Loki x Mobius shippers (most of you, not all of you), have, from the get go, decided that anyone who doesn't like Mobius or ship Loki x Mobius is inherently wrong and that you are right and Loki x Mobius is the ONLY ship you can like in this fandom! And anyone who points out valid reasons for not shipping them, while supporting you guys who want to ship them, are bullied and shut out. Just...WHY CAN'T YOU LET PEOPLE SHIP WHO THEY WANT WITHOUT BEING A LITTLE BITCH ABOUT WHY YOUR SHIP IS THE 'ONLY RIGHT ONE'??!!

Next...Sylvie x Loki. That's a ship. Another ship. It's being hinted at in the show after the most recent ep. I FUCKING SHIP IT AND I'M NOT ASHAMED. And you know what? Why are you right to make people feel ashamed of shipping it? It's a perfectly valid ship. Just like Loki x Mobius. "But it's selfcest", "But it's weird", "But" - SHUT THE FUCK UP! ALL SHIPS ARE WEIRD!

IT'S FUCKING FICTION, JESUS!!!!

People are allowed to ship whatever they like and they DON'T NEED YOUR PERMISSION! If you don't like it, then that's fine. People don't like your ship either. But there is no reason to make articles or posts whining about it and crying over it. Just avoid the content; don't interact with people who ship it, don't interact with fanfiction or fanart etc. Nobody will make you ship anything you don't want too. "But it's clearly gonna be canon in the show!" SO??!! PEOPLE IN ALL FANDOMS IGNORE CANON AND SHIP THEIR SHIPS ANYWAY, WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR YOU?!

And also..."selfcest"? Really? Honestly, if any MCU character was going to fall in love with another 'version' of themselves, it would be Loki, and as Loki fans, you should all know that! Also, Sylvie is her own independent, different character. Yeah, she's a 'variant' of Loki (or Loki's a 'variant' of her), but she's also her own person and not a carbon copy of him. Also, again; if you can ship Loki x Mobius, let people ship Loki x Sylvie. Not all of us like the same thing. And that's okay. Also, I feel like a lot of you are throwing a tantrum over Loki x Sylvie because you have to have your token white boys gay ship, and if you don't, then what is there in this fandom for you?! They have chemistry, just like Loki x Mobius, so I really don't see the problem here apart from people wanting something to complain about.

This last thing. "Loki is so OUT OF CHARACTER. I wish they'd just left him dead. This series is so weird." Yes, it is weird. That's good. You wish they'd left him dead? You, the Loki super fan, wish he'd been left dead in IW, and didn't get his own series that made him a massive character for MCU Phase 4/5? Really? Okay. He's out of character? No, not really. He's serious, and a goofball, because he has range. He's a character full of darkness, and humour, and goofiness, and rage, and pain, and love. If anything, he's as in character as he's ever been; it's HIS SHOW!

If you don't like the show, if it's not for you? That's fine! I get it. But why do you feel the need to shit on the people who are enjoying it? "Here's why Loki is OOC", "Here's why you shouldn't watch Loki", "Here's everything wrong with this ep of Loki" - WHY?! You don't like the show, WE GET IT OKAY? But can you let the people who are actually enjoying it, ya know, ENJOY IT?! Without feeling guilty about enjoying it?

It's really not that hard to go "I don't like this content. And that's okay, and I will not consume that content. Other people DO LIKE this content. And that's okay too. And I shall leave them alone and not make whiny posts about how this content is awful and not good and liking it means you're not a real fan. I shall simply express my dislike, and be civil to people that do not share my view."

Just...honestly, I want to be a part of fandoms - there's so much cool fanart and fanfiction, and funny posts and amazing analysis' and some great people to talk to. But I don't want to be a part of this fandom anymore. You are ALL exhausting. And I can't cope with it. I'm honestly thinking about taking a break from this Tumblr account because my dash is filled with all the shit I've listed above, and it really makes me upset, and feel guilty in my enjoyment of the Loki series.

If anyone reads all the way to end, just know this - everyone is different. Everyone likes different things, and has different interpretations. So, please, PLEASE; just let people like what they like and stop feeling the need to criticize every little thing just because you don't like it. Okay? Thank you.

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Hello! May I please ask for Lupin and Jigen with the letters E, M, and Z? (Thank you so much in advance!)

Hello! Just a heads up I haven't watched lupin in a very hot minute (hopefully I can fix that) and basically did this by memory so forgive me if anything is a bit ooc! 

Lupin 

E   :   EMBRACE.   Does your s/o like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Of course Lupin likes hugs, he loves hugs! Every time he greets you expect to be tackled down by the master thief's embrace along with his long string of adoring phrases to go along with it. Hugs from him never fail to make you feel every ounce of love from every fiber of his being, you know because he's sweet like that. 

M   :  MILESTONE.  what was the exact moment your s/o realised they had feelings for you?

He remembers it vividly, it was after a heist that he of course went in over his head that he actually managed to get nicked a few times in the shoulder by stray shots from the cops. But this is Lupin of course, he's going to whine and bitch about how he "saw his life flashing before his eyes" to get some sympathy points out of you - which usually works on most people, however, this time it definitely doesn't work on you. He immediately cuts the bullshit once you start screaming and crying at how tired you are about all his crazy bullshit schemes and how much you worry with every job that one day…your worst fear will happen. 

It more than takes him off guard; it scares the shit out of him. He just wants to have fun and steal shit not...worrying you to the point of tears. He moves to adjust himself on the couch so that he can caress your cheek so that you look up at him, ready to rest your worries - but the moment he looks into your glossy tearfilled eyes he just...freezes. He isn't sure what it was at that moment, maybe it was just the fact you were showing actual genuine concern for him, but with his mouth agape and his dark eyes darting all over your features to him, none of the most expensive jewels could even compare to your beauty. With a sigh, he collects himself and quietly apologizes for acting so recklessly and that he promises that he'll keep your worry in mind, he cares about you and hates to see you cry after all. 

Z   :   ZZZ.   how is sharing a bed with your s/o?

Good luck actually keeping your IN the bed at night. Lupin tends to move around in his sleep quite often and quite frequently so it's quite easy to find yourself woken up at 2 am because your boyfriend kicked you mid slumber onto the floor. 

Jigen 

E   :   EMBRACE.   Does your s/o like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Jigen really isn't a touchy touchy sort of guy so hugs from him are very rare (when he isn't drunk; then he's just the affectionate drunk) But when you do find yourself in one of the rare sober embraces expect the feel of every single possible trouble you could have in your thought just completely vanish. These are very tender moments, as he wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face either into your neck or the top of your head. His presence just...seems to calm you, which isn't just the case for you because Jigen finds himself feeling the same way. There's no annoyance for whatever Lupin has recently done; it's just the feeling of the two of you together which Jigen definitely enjoys the feeling of. 

M   :  MILESTONE.  what was the exact moment your s/o realised they had feelings for you?

It was at some bar one night, the place only had a few other customers who kept to themselves so the place was actually quite quiet. He sat at the bar with you watching the ice swirl around in his glass as his attention went in and out of listening to you talk next to him. 

"Jigen?" 

He comes out of his trance when you gently shake his shoulder a bit and spills his drink out of his hand - the glass hitting the floor. A curse gritted through his teeth before saying his apologies to the person at the bar before he about went to bent over to clean it up until you already beat him to it which then as he mutters a thank before going to take out his wallet - you also beat him to it by slamming crash from your pocket onto the counter before going to continue your cleaning. 

After disposing of the glass you return to ask your previous question; was something on his mind? Jigen sighs as he looks back to his replacement drink. 

"Nope, just fine."

You watch how he downs the alcohol - you knew damn well that was a lie. You sip your own drink, taking a minute to down the burning sensation. You sigh, looking back over to him. 

"Jigen, we both know the truth. But I respect your choice - you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I'm just really glad I've gotten to know you over this time and - just like the rest of the crew, I'm here to listen if you ever need to vent or anything. I know how things...really can suck in our line of work." 

He takes a moment to meet your gentle gaze, your smallest of smiles and he can't help but to softly laugh to himself and how cliche your whole response was...although with a double take it does seem genuine so much in fact for the briefest of moments he actually considers opening up about his trust issues and everything surrounding that shitty situation. However he doesn't given that voice in the back of his head - you're different from most people he's met and he definitely cares about you and the rest of the crew and seeing your concern...does something to him and he feels if he acts on it it might ruin things. 

But give him a little bit more time to let him settle the inner debate with himself and then he'll open up to show you the wounds on his heart, wounds you can possibly help heal the tiniest of bits. 

Z   :   ZZZ.   how is sharing a bed with your s/o?

Jigen is a decent person to share a bed with, he doesn't tend to move around a lot in his sleep very much - tending to mostly likely wake up in the exact position he fell asleep in so there's no worries getting crushed or physically kicked out of bed in your sleep like there would be with somebody like Lupin. So with that Jigen makes an amazing pillow! You can easily nuzzle your face in his chest as he holds a gentle supportive grip around your waist and fall asleep in no time at all in cuddle hold. 

If you like what you read please consider reblogging! It means the world for writers and artists!

[thejustmaiden]

Fiction and Real Life Go Hand In Hand

This blog goes out to all those pro-Sessrin fans out there who refuse to acknowledge the very real effects fiction can have on our world and vice versa. I highly encourage other Inuyasha fans who defend/enable these shippers to read this, as well. I assure you, by no means are my intentions here to stir up trouble. Honestly, I just want some good healthy discourse for once if that’s not too much to ask. If you do decide to engage, please be mindful of that and treat others with respect and I will do the same in return. All in all, the goal of this blog is to exercise my right to speak out and be critical about content I believe to have very potentially detrimental repercussions. I ask that you not attack me or insult me simply for stating an opinion. Thank you! 

It’s like the title says, meaning fiction does matter. Where do you think we get ideas for all the stories we tell? Where do we draw inspiration from in the first place?

Real life, that's where! And yes, always with a touch of imagination! Long story short: fiction matters because real life does.

Allow me to elaborate.

Shippers of the Sesshomaru x Rin (Sessrin) pairing say it's not fair of us to throw around serious accusations or use certain deragatory terms that suggest such awful acts like child grooming or pedophilia because of the harmful implications. One of their reasonings being that some people IRL have actually lived through these traumas, so we shouldn't dare to assume they're comparable since one is just fiction and the other is not. But this isn’t about which is worse than the other, because they’re both super problematic. All we’re literally doing is making a link between grooming in real life and grooming in fiction. They mirror each other. Same issue; different mediums. We’re not undermining any one’s past experiences with grooming or the like, nor are we prioritizing fiction to diminish real life abuse. They’re both awful in numerous ways and that’s all we’re trying to say. In fact, if anything we’re attempting to demonstrate just how crucial this correlation is between them. In order to protect past victims and prevent future ones, we must remain vigiliant of the content we consume, and yes, sometimes that means we have to challenge it too. Just because it’s widely-viewed does not make it widely-accepted or well-received. It is paramount that we educate ourselves on how to be more critical of some of the harmful tropes and images that are still way too prevalent in mainstream media. Sexualizing young and pre-pubescent girls is way more normalized than some of us even realize. It’s sad but true that Sessrin is just one of many examples. I know it feels like society has failed us in a lot of ways, but it’s never too late to re-evaluate and re-learn better and more improved ways of viewing and processing information presented to us.

Our mission: Let’s not show our kids that grooming or any other form of abuse are acceptable if they may ever come to experience or encounter it themselves. Be it the real world or on screen. Deal? 

There have been a number of occasions where real life victims do speak up against the Sessrin ship and express how extremely uncomfortable it makes them feel by what it represents. The problem is that it’s becoming more evident now that many of their fans will dismiss anything purely on the basis that we pose a threat to their ship and nothing more. What it comes down to is they have no real leg to stand on and cannot possibly top any of what we have to say so instead they simply disregard it. Our inconvenient truths don't fit into their ideal *cough* OOC *cough* narrative so they just choose to be willfully ignorant. It conflicts with their fantasy, so rather than present a sound argument of their own, they flat-out reject it and offer no plausible back-up behind their reasoning besides "I don't interpret it that way." GUYS, CHILD GROOMING IS NOT UP FOR INTERPRETATION.

Just because you so desperately want your ship to come true does not mean you can up and decide to redefine a word so that it caters to your stance. Remind yourself that these are complex AND objective terms that we have no right to fiddle with to serve our own selfish purposes. This is why we can conclude that there's no debate about Sesshomaru's actions towards Rin embodying child grooming.

I apologize if any of my words are triggering by the way, so please feel free to take a break and return later if that’s more suitable for you. it's just really important that everyone in this fandom comprehends the extent in which Sessrin going canon is catastrophic. And no, I'm not exaggerating; I'm simply speaking the truth. Shippers justifying these horrible acts- yes, even in fiction- is usually due to the stubborn refusal to hear us out. No offense to anyone (just stating facts), but more times than not antis like myself feel as if we’re talking to a brick wall when we interact with Sessrin peeps. They go in circles and never expand on their perspectives. 

Just a head’s up: THIS GETS LONG. Stick with me. :p

Just look at their take on the Inukag vs. Sessrin relationships for example. This isn't a question of age gaps, this is a question of physical/emotional compatibility. Inukag are the same age mentally wise regardless of one being demon and the other not, whereas Sessrin is not and never will be, and yes, even once she's an adult. The thing is we have debunked this time and time again, because they’re not the same and therefore not comparable, but for some reason these fans won’t drop it. Nothing has changed in their argument, yet they’re persistent in bringing it up. I choose to not go into more detail, since like I said, you can find it around everywhere. I just wanted to touch upon it briefly to prove a point. Maybe it will come up again later in my blog though! 

Where was I earlier? Right, child grooming! Haven't you guys realized that what you’re doing is precisely what child groomers do to make excuses or deny any grooming took place at all? (FYI: I’m not accusing you of being child groomers yourselves.) “They reciprocated so the feelings are mutual" is a typical groomer response, but of course it varies. More often than not, victims of grooming aren't even aware they've been groomed until much later. That's how manipulative groomers are that they can legitmately convince you that maybe you're wrong in questioning their motives. Perhaps in the victim’s mind that because one huge indicator of grooming never actually took place it technically cannot constitute as grooming. They start to doubt themselves even though their intuition is telling them something’s off. They should just ignore it then since it can’t possibly be grooming if that one particular thing never happened, right? Wrong, grooming isn’t strictly this or strictly that. It's much more complicated and multi-faceted. This is why the “but Sesshomaru left Rin in the village” point upsets me greatly. HE WAS STILL INVOLVED IN HER LIFE, Y’ALL.  

On top of that, are you aware that this is the exact same kind of predatory mindset pedophiles use to describe their infatuation with children? They'll say things like, "I don't see them as an adult and a child. I see them as two people with a soul connection." Okay no joke, I wish I was lying, but that is literally a point one pro-sessrin fan on here recently used to defend this ship. It both astounds me and terrifies me that they don't see the glaring similarities they share in common with actual pedos.

Alright, I want to quickly return to what I was saying earlier about fiction's impact on real life. (Sorry, I’m a bit of a scatterbrain!)

The characters and their worlds in our stories that we dream up and bring to life are nothing short of awe-inspiring and magnificent if we so choose them to be. If it wasn't for our imaginations, stories like Inuyasha would have never come to exist. Fiction provides us an amazing outlet where we are given the opportunity to express ourselves and explore its infinite creative possibilities.

But strip away all the demons and magical components of this show we all love so dearly and what are we left with?

At the very core, Inuyasha is a story that's very reminiscent of the human experience: love, camaraderie, a sense of purpose, and much more!

So perhaps we got a full-fledged dog demon like Sesshomaru, but does that necessarily mean we can't relate to him or understand him simply because dog demons don't exist in the real world? Well, I hope that's not how you view it or else you're missing the whole point of why humans create stories to begin with. We create them to make better sense of and thus connect with the world we live in. And when you really think about it, our stories are just a celebration of life- both our struggles and our triumphs. Now I'm no philosophy professor, but I'm pretty sure they'd say I hit that nail right smack on the head. ;)

All shitty jokes aside, the whole reason I’m mentioning this specific example in the first place is because this recently came up with another Sessrin supporter. That supporter tried to defend the ship by stating that we aren't allowed to use Sesshomaru as an example to judge by since his kind don't exist in the real world.

Now if it isn't evident already, this "it's just fiction" argument is a popular go-to stance many Sessrin fans will resort to once they've run out of ideas and are metaphorically backed into a corner. The funny/sad thing is that they seem to sincerely believe this is strong enough evidence to defend their ship with, but per usual, they fail to see how hypocritical that would be. I’ll clarify soon down below. 

Seriously, since when did we decide that fantasy- or any story genre for that matter- stopped reflecting the real world we live in? I mean, we humans are the ones writing these stories. Our human influence is bound to make an impact in some capacity. In fact, we want it to!

Obviously none of us have ever met a dog demon like Sesshomaru, because how could we? Let me tell ya, this is gaslighting at its finest! This is a fictional story with fantasy elements, so of course there will be beings and creatures in their world that don't exist in our own. Does that somehow translate to the fact that nothing from the story of Inuyasha can be applied to our own personal stories or that there aren't meaningful messages to be taught and learned?

So on the flipside, if they're not screaming at us "it's just fiction" for the hundred billionth time, then they are, believe it or not, doing the reverse and comparing it to real world history. One instance of this is how they tell us we're making a big deal about something that isn't real, but go right ahead and use the history of feudal Japan to support Sesshomaru's decision to court (aka GROOM) a young girl because that's how it was done back then. And so, your point being?? It wasn't right then just because it was legal, and it's most certainly not right now. This is how all of their arguments go by the way, where you'll constantly witness a cherry-picking approach. It's agonizing to endure contradiction after contradiction in their arguments filled with nothing but holes in their logic.

I'd just like to add that if we're overreacting to this fictional ship like they love to say we are then technically so are they. They tell us things like "grow up" or "nobody is telling you to keep watching," yet fail to realize they're reacting just as fervently as we are but just on the opposing side of the same damn argument. I find it interesting how they're as invested in this show but pretend they aren't then STILL have the audacity to say it's only us who care this much!? So thank you Sessrin shippers for further proving our point that fiction is more than capable of affecting reality and the people- YES, US- who reside in it.

It's insane that people act like pedophiles and other creeps don't enjoy entertainment too like the rest of us. Believe it or not, they look just like you and me most of the time. Yes, that means they can easily pass as a “regular guy” if they so wished to. My question to you is how do you think pedophiles will take it when they discover others- underage fans more specifically- who dig the same kinda media they get off to? Maybe not in the exact same way, mind you, but there's a thin line between them when you really think about it. I mean, what other explanation is there for why literal pedos on the internet have been known to sneak into pro-sessrin group chats here on Tumblr before? (Thankfully, they were later kicked.) I know that for a fact! It's almost as if the universe is trying to tell them something they refuse to listen to elsewhere. Hhmmm I wonder what that may be. 

I imagine it’s possibly one of the hardest things to admit out loud and to themselves, but I can almost guarantee you that most of these Sessrin shippers who are victims of CSA and who still see no issue with Sessrin must be living with some sort of unresolved trauma caused by the very abuse they claimed to have undergone. It's been proven that victims who do not seek or properly receive the help and treatment they need in order to address and live with a traumatic experience such as this are more likely to perpetuate that very same abuse themselves in some way, shape or form. What if in this case fiction is enough for them, but who's to say it won’t eventually manifest itself in other more dire and far-reaching ways? It's not like we haven't seen this vicious cycle before, and I can promise you that Sessrin won't be the last. LET'S STOP NORMALIZING & GLORIFYING THE ROMANTIZATION & SEXUALIZATION OF CHILDREN. Fictional example: Usagi Drop. Need I say more? Real world example: Woody Allen. Again, need I say more?

Bottom line is that Sessrin shippers don't want us to think too critically about this ship of theirs, because if we dig too deep then they're forced to face the very troubling implications this pairing really stands for. Of course they'll never admit to them, because instead they rather double down and grasp at the same old straws as long as it means their precious ship is protected at all costs. Screw everyone else if that's what it takes, because they'll threaten to burn down legit buildings in real life if that ensures Sessrin goes canon! (True story, this happened on Twitter.) They’ll taunt and bully anyone who disagrees. Even if all you literally say is that you don’t like the ship, they’ll gang up on you. Tell them about your past experience with being groomed? They’ll laugh in your face. I wish I was kidding, but I assure you I am not.  And they say we're ridiculous and taking this way too seriously? Yeah...

The typical behavior of a Sessrin shipper demonstrates an overly aggressive front since they're usually on defense mode anyway. They only want to ship their sick ship in peace in other words. But just because neo-nazis have a right to spew their bigoted ideology, doesn't mean we don't got the right to punch them! Freedom of speech doesn't equate to freedom from consequences. And Sessrin shippers wonder why they got so many haters. Just sayin'.

Their presence on other platforms like Twitter and Reddit are some examples of how delusional and unstable some Sessrin fans are capable of becoming. Even recently, an anon here on Tumblr sent Richard Ian Cox (English VA for Inuyasha) a totally uncalled for ask telling him that "sessrin is love and there's nothing he can do about it." (That's not verbatim, but if you're interested I'll link you to it.) It appears they discovered that he didn't like Sessrin based on how he had been replying to asks, and just for that reason alone they thought they had the right to harass him. For simply stating his opinion, y'all. They didn't even have the decency to show their face either. Talk about immature and cowardly! 

Just yesterday (or was it the day before?) a fanatic Sessrin user on Tumblr- who’s also been known for hateful remarks on Twitter but those tweets have of course been deleted since then- went out of their way to not only lurk in a group chat they don’t belong to on here but to then proceed to harass a few of us in there. They had the guts to take screenshots from that group chat, tag us in posts on their page regarding what they read in there, and without our knowledge or permission went ahead and actually blogged them?? I mean, who calls out people behind their backs while they're just minding their own business?? It worries me how unhinged and out of touch with reality some Sessriners are. Not all of them, but a whole lot of them. 

It seems all they are doing is looking for trouble, as they just can't stand how much we hate this ship. So it's more than okay if they love on their ship but it's not okay if we don't and we should just keep our mouths shut. But since when do Sessrin fans have authority over our opinions? Even if they were officially canon, nothing is ever gonna change our opinion. Now when they actually do decide to participate in discourse with antis, you'll see them fishing for excuses to bow out. How they normally go about this is by fabricating a way to blame us antis for their exiting a conversation as if we're being the irrational ones here.

There’s no denying that some antis can also be overly blunt or aggressive (nobody is saying we’re perfect here), but speaking for myself, I know I would never make such nasty comments about other fans and their personal lives. And honestly? It would make me feel like shit talking bad about someone I don't actually know. Nah, I won't stoop to that level or give haters that satisfaction. I may not attack them as people, but that doesn't mean I can't attack some of their messed up ideas that threaten to distort how we should or shouldn’t perceive certain dangerous situations and events. Seeing as how for me this is more than just a matter of opinion- it's a moral responsibility and even an obligation.

I know it's difficult to remain civil when things get heated and people start taking things personally- yet more proof that fiction impacts our lives- but that's the only way any of us will ever have constructive discussions about serious topics like this. Unfortunately, Sessrin shippers, from what I can tell, are incapable of engaging in real discourse for the most part. They may be vocal but that doesn't mean they can pack a punch. I’d really love to be proven wrong someday.

Okay, moving on! If they're not involved in some big-time gaslighting then they're using their infamous strawman argument approach.

Sessrin fans’ sole purpose isn't really to defend their ship, per se, but rather to deflect and antagonize. They like to mislead in order to shift the focus/blame onto their opponent or something else that's not related so that they can stray from the main point. 

Take the drama CD for example. It's officially NOT considered canon, right? But that hasn't stopped many fans from referencing it anyway so let’s too consider it for a moment. The point is that they use its "existence" whenever convenient then deny it or downplay it whenever it’s not. So on one hand, it's plain as day that they celebrate it as proof of a romantic future for Sessrin. But then later once we point out to them that Sesshomaru is essentially confessing to Rin that he will wait for her until she's of age, they'll brush it off and quickly add that they didn't interpret the scene that way and leave it at that. I mean how else would you interpret it? And if it's not a proposal of sorts then why exactly are you bouncing off the walls about it to begin with?? If that's all it means is nothing then why are we even talking about this?! You see what I mean here??! And somehow we're the crazy ones? 

Let me to be frank with you. If you haven’t listened to it already, this proposal he offered her sounded like a declaration of love in a multitude of ways, which is wildly inappropriate since Rin was only 12 at the time. Signifying that Sesshomaru was/is indeed grooming her. Well, that is if you choose to recognize the drama CD. Nevertheless, whether you do or not, I personally hate that this non-canon satire is even associated with the Inuyasha name to begin with. Ugh. 

Intentional or not, Sesshomaru made a deliberate decision in that moment to tell a little girl- and not just any little girl mind you but a girl he's taken in under his care for a good year- that he would wait for her if she so chooses once she's old enough. 

The issue is that it isn’t only age of consent we’re concerned about regarding this pairing. What Sessriners fail to see is that this grown male authority- her vassal, her guardian, her adoptive father, or whatever you wanna refer to him as- is basically making a move on this girl he had in his company for quite some time. There's no sugarcoating that. Us antis call it how it is, and I'm sure as fucking day other people who don't watch the show would most certainly agree that the Sesshomaru/Rin bond is filial. Set aside those rose-tinted glasses of yours, and going by everything we’ve been delivered in the manga and parts of the anime (and NOT the drama cd), there are literally no hints that indicate a blossoming romance between this adult male demon and this small human girl he’s taken under his wing. You can imagine them all you want if it pleases you, but that doesn’t mean they’re there. Adult!Rin is a figment of your imagination, nothing more. The idolization of this pairing is pretty disturbing seeing as all we have to go off of in canon is Child!Rin. There have only ever been sweet and innocent moments passed between the two, which is why I’m positive that an unbiased viewer or an outsider would state their dynamic resembled something akin to a father-daugther relationship. I would bet a shit ton of money on that, believe you me!

Rin's inhibitions are low because children are naturally naive and don't know any better. Remember, she adores and trust this man with all her heart, so why would she think any of this so-called grooming is not normal behavior. (I only say “so-called grooming” because I don’t think Sesshomaru bringing her gifts in the village has to be a romantic thing.) Or how would she ever be able to understand that she’s being taken advantage of if she has no previous experience with it? Maybe if she was present for that time Inuyasha and the gang scolded Miroku when they had learned that years previous he had supposedly proposed to this young girl in the village they were visiting, then Rin would. And he didn’t even assist in helping raise her but look at how they reacted! How is this any different than Sesshomaru hooking up with Rin later? It’s actually worse in Sessrin's case. Do you honestly believe that Inuyasha and the others would take kindly to this?

It's not uncommon and considered harmless for young children to have crushes on adults, after all, but the adults in these scenarios should never resort to using and abusing the position of power they held or continue to hold over this child for any reason whatsoever.

What I'm trying to get across here is that no matter how you spin it, Sessrin can NEVER be deemed a morally acceptable pairing. Like ship what you want, we're not saying you can't ship Sessrin. What we're saying is this:

STOP referring to their bond as "pure" and not expect backlash for your grossly inaccurate statements. Just admit it's toxic, because it's extremely harmful to many viewers- and not just victims- to pretend and suggest otherwise.

Please remind yourself of the very real canon fact that Rin traveled with Sesshomaru and they established a bond all while she was just a girl. Oh, and he saved her life too many times to count, not to mention brought her back from the dead TWICE. This is why I don't care much for your counter argument "that dynamics can change over time," because although that's true, like with everything in life there must be standards we adhere to. Exceptions to rules, if you will. Our own basic morals demand it.

For instance, it’s normal that some childhood friends begin to like each other as more than friends years down the road. Nothing wrong with that, because that's a natural and healthy occurrence. Now you cannot apply this to an adult and a child for obvious reasons, but what you also cannot do is apply this to an adult who met and knew another adult while they were still just a child. Why? Well, because it'd be like betraying and perverting that former child's view of you. They were never your equal because your established dynamic resembles that of one an adult posesses with a child even once they've grown up. Think about it this way: it's in the same bracket of family members or family friends who've watched you grow up and mature into an adult. Then later just because they're all grown up, does that mean that those children "are not off bounds" - that's quoting a Sessrin shipper by the way- to these certain family members and family friends? 

If you're still struggling to grasp this, I urge you to take a moment (or all the time you need!) to really put yourself in that child's shoes and self-reflect. Would you truly be alright with a family friend you haven't seen in years (but sorely missed because they used to occasionally babysit you) just someday coming back into your life and then very inappropriately flirting with you or even making sexual advances on you? (Sorry for the run-on!) Or even worse, can you picture this happening to one of your own children??! Seriously, ask yourself that and sit with that for a while and really take it all in. It’s not fun, I know, but if that’s what it takes to help you finally understand then please try and practice more ways to utilize your self-awareness in the future. It’s for everyone’s benefit, not only yours, I promise! You'll also find it makes it tremendously easier to empathize with others.

I got news for those fans who don’t view Sesshomaru as a father figure to Rin. The title we give him doesn’t hold as much weight as a lot of us are making it out to be. Let’s try to be neutral here and stick to the hard facts, shall we?

*Sesshomaru is an adult male authority whose protection Rin is under*

*It’s safe to assume that Rin has grown attached to him and maybe even looks up to him*

*They care about each other and the other's well-being*

*He has has played a crucial part in her supervision and care for a significant period of time (yes, even if it’s just passing a message along to Jaken)*

Not so random anecdote: In an Inuyasha episode I recently revisited, Sesshomaru had just rescued Rin from Kohaku who had been possessed by Naraku and was ordered to kill Rin. Anyway, at the end of their scene you can hear Jaken ask out loud, “what should we do for dinner, Lord Sesshomaru?” And that’s about the most domestic thing I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth. They’re such a family dammit and nothing will ever change that!! <3

This is precisely why I could never in a million years view those past students of mine in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed, it's just not possible for me. Just the idea of pursuing a romantic and/or sexual relationship absolutely repels me.

Speaking as a former teacher, you don't need to be a parental figure who's around all the time in order to have great love and affection for a child. I would've done absolutely anything in my power to protect them even though they weren't my own. Then again, I did consider them my children in a way even if wasn't in a familial sense. Does that make my love for them any less unique? No, it's just different but not inferior. When you stop to think about, it really doesn't take as long as you may think to establish rapport with a person, particularly children. Connecting with a child is almost instant (but of course some are more receptive than others), and once you do make that special connection one can only make with a child, a strong and overwhelming need to guide and protect them kicks in almost automatically. The unconditional love an adult feels for a child is powerful and constant, and nothing should ever change that. As much as some of you really want to believe otherwise, that feeling doesn’t just go away because they turned 18. In your eyes, they’ll always be that kid.

I get it, sometimes when we escape into these fictional worlds of ours, it's difficult not to project our own wishes and desires onto certain characters. I don't blame fans for picturing themselves with Sesshomaru- I know I did haha- but never once did I self-insert myself as Rin. I know she's one of the biggest catalysts for his character growth- if not THE biggest- but how and why does that need to turn romantic? There are other antis who I have spoken with on this. They informed me that they used to live vicariously through Rin and ship them together, as well. As they got older, they later learned how weird and twisted this ship actually was. That's what's supposed to happen, y'all, you're supposed to grow out of that fixation. 

Now take your mind out of the Inuyasha universe for a second and hypothetically (or not hypothetically if you have kids) answer me this: if and/or when you ever have a child, would you genuinely be comfortable with the idea of them dating and eventually marrying their father’s best friend who was also there to witness them grow up? Be honest please. 

I highly doubt you would want that- or at least I hope not. You see, that's another MAJOR point I've made a few times already and yet you Sessrin shippers continue to avoid the question. It's pretty obvious it hasn't been rhetorical either. Ignorance is bliss?

Finally, I’d like to address one more point. It seems there is a HUGE misconception and I'd like to clear it up real quick. That is Sessrin shippers misinterpret one of the issues we have with this ship. They chalk up our complaints of Sessrin being canon (which is a LIE, nothing has been confirmed yet) to us just being salty because that somehow means our ships aren't or won’t be. I assure you, readers, other antis and I will attest that this ain't about dumb shipping wars, this is so much bigger than that!!!

I noticed recently that some Sessrin fans have even begun calling us Karens lolol like if anybody is a Karen it's them! This ain't about some mere difference in taste, this is very likely to have LONG-LASTING NEGATIVE EFFECTS. Sessrin going canon is a very harmful message to send viewers and children/teens especially. So if anything, it’s these shippers who are being the entitled ones here thinking that the fact we don’t support their ship is the worst thing in the world. NO, THE REAL PROBLEM IS CHILD GROOMING. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Out of nowhere, some of them even started assuming all us antis were white, which in their books is also equivalent to Karens or even white supremacists somehow?? Those aren't one in the same, but it's easy to make it appear that way when the US is currently tackling major systems of oppression and racial injustice. Because to them, all antis must be from over here. (Yes, I'm American. But no, I'm not white.) How else can anyone explain not shipping Sessrin, right?! Somehow they have it in their heads that ALL of Japan and surrounding places are super approving of this ship, and that everyone else isn’t because of their upbringing and “Western way of thinking.”  

To give you an idea of what I mean, look back at what I talked about earlier with their incessant mention of Sessrin vs. Inukag. Because THIS is another popular example of how these shippers present their side and then ignore all the facts. Many fans have already proven how fucked up and inaccurate it is to label whole countries and cultures. It’s like they simply think mentioning it makes it count even though we’ve discredited their points over and over. Nah, you got to back it up with good reasons that support your side of the argument. That’s How To Have An Argument: 101. So at the end of the day, all they're actually achieving in doing is making dumb and entirely unrelated accusations based on nothing just to lead to deductions that are equally unfounded. Nothing at all is accomplished but more gaslighting and hurling of insults on their part = a complete waste of time for antis = an excuse for them to peace out early from the conversation & that’s what they wanted all along

We’ve reached the end (finally! sorry for all the rambling!), and I hope those of you who stayed till the end or read enough can take something positive out of this. As many Inuyasha fans are aware, there will be a livestream with the VAs for Sesshomaru and Rin coming out within the next few hours. We don’t have all the details yet, and afterwards we probably still won’t. I’m not just talking about Sessrin here but about the sequel in general. Whatever happens, please just remember to be kind to one another. If you don’t think you’re capable of doing that, then it’s best you vent and fume elsewhere. Easier said than done, I know, but just try. Throughout this blog, I admit there were moments where I got frustrated and took some jabs at Sessrin shippers. Please believe me when I say that I do not and would not ever wish any of you ill will. 

Inuyasha was such a huge part of my childhood, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m anxious as hell that Sunrise will ruin one of the best things I loved about this show. So pardon me if my reactions are too visceral for your liking. haha Also, like the movies and the drama cd, this sequel is not in fact canon. Therefore, for those of you who disagree or who still plan to enjoy this new series, respect the fact that some of us fans will definitely “cancel” it if we feel that’s what we have to do to come to terms with it and move on. Fans have that right, after all. Why should we get on board with something if it’s so uncharacteristic of and unrecognizable from the original source material? If all this is some sort of cash grab of Sunrise’s doing, then count me out. I truly hope that this sequel turn outs being a lot more promising than a lot of us are expecting. I’m begging you, Sunrise, I wanna believe you’re better than this. Please and thank you!   

By the way, if you’re interested, feel free to check out my two other blogs on this same subject. Click here and here. The last two screenshots do not come from something I’ve written myself. If you’d like to read more from where those came from, let me know and I’d be more than happy to send you the links. Okay, bye for now. Peace out and stay safe, everyone! 

[vecna]

Oohh for the fandom meme! Dragon Age?

Send me a fandom!

Oh boy, this is going to be spicy.

It’s also very Anders-negative, so apologies up front.

The character(s) I first fell in love with:

I’m actually not sure which was the FIRST, but it’s a tie between Morrigan and Alistair. I saw fanart of them going around at the time Origins first released, and that’s what got me to try the game! 

Alistair was a breath of fresh air, because at the time, I was used to warrior men in games being all Edgy and Rough, and he was the total opposite and a sweetheart.

And Morrigan was just instantly my goth wife, and had Claudia Black as a VA, so I was sold immediately.

Both still hold a special place for me!

The character(s) I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Loghain is the main one. He does a lot of truly reprehensible shit in the first game. But once I sat down and read the prequel novels about young Loghain, plus saw what he’s like if you recruit him, he grew on me A LOT and now he’s a top fave.

Nathaniel I expected to hate as soon as I saw his name + who his father was, but then the expansion came out and I ended up loving that dude almost immediately. I really wish he was around more after Awakening, and also really wish he’d been a romance option, especially for a Cousland haha.

Merrill is a weird one because she was totally uninteresting to me in DA:O, so when they announced her as a companion in DA2 I was like, “Ehhhh.” Then they punked me by making her adorable and sweet and now I love her.

Plus a bunch of side-characters like The Architect? I liked him a bunch in the novel + Awakening – although I found his Plan in the novel much more appealing. But as the years have gone by, I keep surprising myself at just HOW disappointed I am he’s never appeared again haha.

The character(s) everyone else loves that I don’t:

There’s a few, and all of them will get me yelled at, but here we go.

First: Isabela. This one’s a bit complicated, but it really just boils down to her attitude towards how you play your character. I actively dislike characters who are super sexual – regardless of gender. But Isabela in particular bothers me because she’s constantly pushing her lewdness and sexual humor on you, and when you try to discourage it, she admonishes you with, “Well, you’re no fun.” Her whole character is just… like that for me. Super pushy, overly lewd, gets uppity when you don’t have the same ~liberated~ opinions she does, and this is all played up in the writing like she’s this Empowered Woman the player absolutely must love, especially if they’re playing a male character lol. I hate her for the same reasons a lot of people hate Liara in Mass Effect, but with the addition of pushy lewd jokey characters always rubbing me the wrong way.

Second: Iron Bull. I’ve written a lot about why he makes me more uncomfortable than any fictional character I’ve ever encountered, and I just outright hate him, he makes my skin crawl. If you want details, feel free to DM me, I don’t really want to rant about it again publicly.

Third: Anders. Again, I’ve written a lot about him before, but. I hated him in Awakening, for a lot of the same reasons I hate Isabela in DA2. But the changes they made to him in DA2 are just kinda :/. While I absolutely agree with him about Mage Rights, the level of preachiness they added to him drove me nuts, and the fact that you’re painted as a Bad Guy if you don’t like him blowing up the chantry. And from a purely OOC standpoint: He’s become a figurehead for all the aggressive Discourse people in the fandom, and if I see someone list Anders in their sidebar bio, I know pre-emptively that their blog is going to be full of 6 page long essays of meta about how everything is Problematic, and no thanks.

To a lesser extent, I’m also not fond of Zevran. But in his case, it’s not anything major like the others, I’m just tired of Bioware’s habit of making the bisexual characters overly lewd sex-focused rogues/deviants.

The character(s) I love that everyone else hates:

Loghain, lol.

But also Sebastian Vael? There’s so much about him that I find genuinely fascinating, especially regarding his backstory, and his struggles between his feelings of responsibility to his family vs his dedication to the Chantry and bettering himself. He’s such a dear character to me, and such a pivotal part of any playthrough, I’m always blown away when I remember he’s a DLC character and many people don’t have him.

HOWEVER Anders being the fandom darling means that people tend to unfairly shit on Sebastian for reacting poorly to the Chantry explosion. People also like to label him as a poster child of a White Straight Church Boy, while refusing to acknowledge he’s… not straight, and not exactly a church boy either lol.

Also Vivienne, but I think that one’s really self-explanatory. I love her, and she gives a really needed perspective on the Circle, since most of the mage companions previously were apostates. But of course, she gets written off as a Chantry apologist, and an uppity bitch, when people would def love her for the same traits if she was not black lol.

The character(s) I used to love but don’t any longer:

Justice. And by extension, Anders. A lot of people like to rant about how Justice ruined Anders, but I always saw it the other way around.Justice was my favorite character in Awakening. The whole concept around him, that he was a Fade spirit who took human form and was experiencing life for the first time was SO fascinating. I felt like there was so much to explore there with his character.

Buuuut then they had him merge with Anders. With the narrative being that he WAS a spirit of Justice, but the moment he connected with Anders, it corrupted his entire spirit into something he wasn’t anymore. So essentially, the character I used to love no longer exists, thanks to Anders. And it reminds me of that phrase recently, about how the destination is so terrible you can no longer enjoy the journey? I can’t even appreciate Justice in Awakening anymore, knowing what happens to him.

To a lesser extent, Corypheus. He was SO COOL and the premise of him was AMAZING when he first appeared in the DA2 DLC, but then Inquisition had to go and turn him into a weird shallow mustache twirl villain.

The character(s) I would totally smooch:

None? Idk I don’t really have the Smooch Fictional Character gene.

The character(s) I’d want to be like:

MAEVARIS TILANI. May I one day finally have the confidence in my identity that she does, and also marry a sweet bear man who adores me.

The character(s) I’d slap:

Too many to list, really. Probably Anders.

The pairing(s) that I love:

THERE’S SO MANY. And most of them are with the PC, because I generally don’t ship NPCs together. But my top 3 are:

M!Hawke / Fenris is my ultimate OTP in the Dragon Age series, by a long-shot. Not even sure where to start on how much I love it, but two damaged guys leaning on each other to work through their respective loneliness and trauma is MY JAM. And lmao I love silver-sideburned Hawke chillin in retirement somewhere but being a supportive husband while Fenris goes off hunting the Bad Guys, it’s great.

Solas / Lavellan is a close second, with the caveat that I increasingly prefer it with a male Lavellan. Having the Inquisitor in love with Solas just changes the entire tone of the game for me, for the better, and him actually being the villain trying to end the world while in love with this normie elf is just (chef kiss). Too bad I’m burned out by how overly spammed it is.

Dorian / Inquisitor is in third, I will just always be fond of how it’s a story of the Inquisitor helping Dorian be happy with who he is, escape an abusive family, and realize that he’s allowed to be loved. Good shit good shit.

Some others:

Warden / Morrigan is probably my favorite Origins ship, and that only intensified with the way she talks about the Warden in Inquisition, esp if they’re Kieran’s other parent. What a cute goth family, regardless of the Warden’s gender, cause you can pry Bi Morrigan from my cold dead fingers.

Cassandra / Inquisitor might have a lot of Romance Cliches, but I adore it – although, similar others, I increasingly prefer it with a female Inquisitor. I actively dislike the weird no-homo rejection with her, and come on, a lady Inquisitor being her Knight In Shining Armor is just good storytelling.

Cullen / Inquisitor, for a lot of the same reasons as Cassandra. I love me a cliche romance, but I’m also fond of the narrative w/ him of someone he loves helping him heal through the lyrium withdrawals and take time to rest.

Josephine / F!Inquisitor is just adorable all around, and wholesome, and great.

Varric / Hawke COME ON HOW WAS THIS NOT AN OPTION.

On the rarepair end:

Sebastian / Hawke doesn’t seem like it would be a rarepair – you’d think everyone who loves Cullen/Inquisitor would love this one too. I do! But alas. That said, I’m also pretty aggro about this one with a male Hawke because SEBASTIAN IS CANON BI. WHY WAS HIS ROMANCE STRAIGHT.

Maric / Loghain is a rarepair I will take with me to my grave LOL. Never forget the scene where Maric thought Loghain was leaving, and bolted across the camp with almost no clothes on to beg Loghain to stay. Come on.

Nathaniel / Cousland is dear to me, and I love it so much more than Alistair / Cousland haha.

Greagoir / Wynne, I can’t believe this got validated in canon ahhhh.

The pairing(s) that I despise:

Again: THERE’S SO MANY.

Iron Bull / Dorian is my least fave by a longshot. Again, I have written about why I hate this pairing a great many times, but it’s awful and toxic and makes me deeply uncomfortable, and I could happily go the rest of my life without seeing anything about it ever again. Please keep poor Dorian away from that man. He deserves someone that doesn’t sexually harass him until he’s finally worn down into dubious consent (while drunk) and then outted to everyone about it.

Isabela / Fenris. Sorry, but it’s just bad writing that Fenris bails on Hawke because the physical intimacy triggered his PTSD and he needs space to process, but then will turn around and have a casual sex relationship with Isabela instead. Yikes.

Anders / Fenris. Aveline / Isabela. Alistair / Morrigan. All of the DA2 Hawke/companion rivalmances. I don’t enjoy “these two people hate and antagonize and want to kill each other… but they fuck” in any form.

Cullen / Amell. Yikes.

And basically ALL of the canon wlw pairings in this series suffer from the fact they have men writing them, and as a result they’re almost always some kind of abusive or racist, and skeeve me out. See: Celene / Briala, Leliana / Marjolaine, Branka / Hespith, etc. Please Bioware, I’m begging you to consult some actual queer women. It’s insane how badly they’re treated compared to how the canon mlm couples are written.

FINALLY, I recognize this will be the most unpopular of all, but. As much as I love M!Hawke/Fenris, I just honestly cannot stand seeing F!Hawke/Fenris. There are some pairings where I’m so attached to the m/m or f/f version, I cannot deal with the m/f version anymore, and that’s one of them. (The others are mainly non-Bioware.)

[princessamericachavez]

Fjorester in Episode 47

They might be leaving the ocean for a while soon but this ship is still sailing strong and unstoppable.

Let me tell you guys, I was stressed out this holiday season thinking of all the ways things could go when we returned, it was a constant cycle of highs and lows for my little shipper heart: Fjord pinning (high!), Jester pulling away (low), Sunflower (high), You’re Someone Else (low), their answers on talks (both?)

But oh boy oh boy did this episode restore my fragile little soul with some much needed softness like:

Jester’s little flirty “oh, hi, Fjord” right after killing one crab and before fighting the other like a badass.

F: “Jester, that was very impressive, I must say” J: “What? Oh, you mean that little Inflict Wounds I did?” F: “Yeah, that and the use of the lollipop, really nice touch.” J: “Oh, yeah, that lollipop is pretty freaking cool.”

I love how this is a continuation of two things:

a. Fjord being increasingly aware of Jester during missions, thanking her for her help in the jungle, keeping her close in the Diver’s Grave, being impressed when she does something badass...

b. Continuing Fjord’s efforts to bridge whatever feels broken between them as he has been doing for 3 days after the dragon fight.

J: *goes outside to look at the crabs* F: “Careful if you head out there, you don’t know what’s above you.” N: “He cares about you.”

Again, I love how this is a continuation of Fjord being extra protective of Jester after the dragon too, like how he tried to help her then, tried to make sure she was okay after and shouted at her to get out of danger during Yasha’s lightning fight.

A++ to Travis in consistent continuity.

Also I love how they both roll their eyes at Nott’s remark, it feels very “she’s not my girlfriend” trope-y which is hilarious to me

Nott insisting they both go out to drag a body as if it was the most romantic of dates lmfao

I appreciate Nott’s efforts but I wish they weren’t so on-the-nose sometimes haha

J: “Could you ask your god?” F: “How do I do that, Jester?” J: “Like I do with the Traveler” F: “He just answers you when you talk to him?” J: “Yeah.” [...] F: “Could you ask him?”

I love this two comparing their deities and their relationship with them, trying hard to understand where the other is coming from but struggling because they only have their own godly experiences to go by.

Also the cleric/warlock dynamics? Especially with how different their deities are? How drastically distinct their communication methods are? How different being chosen by them feels to both of them? GOOD SHIT.

“What if the chamber closes and you’re stuck in here, Fjord?”

And then, speaking of faith, Jester praying to the Traveler.

Now, I wanna take a moment to talk about this because we are talking about a very religious and spiritual person, someone whose faith is so powerful that it has granted her magic and the favoritism of her deity.

We are talking about Jester reaching out to the Traveler, her god, her oldest friend, the one she has chosen to devote her life to, the one that recently saved her life when she felt most abandoned... and asking him to look after Fjord.

Can we take a minute to consider just how much that means? Even when she’s confused by him, when she has been distant, when she’s brokenhearted, her priority is that Fjord is safe and alright, so much so that she trusts him to her deity as a personal favor.

“Hey, Traveler. So I know that he’s like doing something for this other god guy but we both know this other god is pretty stupid...”

AND BY PRETTY STUPID SHE MEANS VERY DANGEROUS AND SHADY AND SHE’S SO WORRIED

“...so if you do me a favor and you, like, you know, watch after Fjord that would be really great because you know he’s done a lot of things that have really helped out to do stuff for you...”

PUTTING A GOOD WORD IN FOR FJORD WITH HER GOD

“...and he’s gonna be pretty helpful in helping me get to you later this year...”

EVEN WHEN DOUBTING WHO HE IS AND BEING CONFUSED AND SAD AND TIRED, JESTER HAS ONE THING CLEAR: THAT FJORD WILL SUPPORT HER AND BE BY HER SIDE WHEN SHE NEEDS HIM

“...so yeah, anyway, I really like you and I really like him and I would like if you could help out. Please. Thank you.”

SHE IS LITERALLY PARALLELING HER LOVE FOR FJORD WITH HER LOVE FOR HER DEITY. CAN WE. JSUT. ÑDJFAÑF

And this is great all of it’s own, but to make matters even bigger Fjord hears it all.

Now let’s consider this. Fjord, who told Beau after the Iron Shepherds that he hasn’t had many kindness shown his way. Fjord, who knows Jester has gone out of her way to help him in his goals from the very start. Fjord, who still feels guilty over leaving her with that dragon. Fjord, who can feel her pulling away and probably thinks she’s furious at him right now.

And then Fjord hears all this, done privately, not for show or flirting but born out of honest concern and kindness. No wonder he’s Soft Af as he sits before her.

I love the image of him approaching Jester and slowly bending down until he’s sitting right in front of her, coming down to her level so that they are face to face, and in her metaphorical ground, her deity.

He comes down and meets her after she’s been chasing after him during this arc, when she pulls way, he reaches out and takes the initiative to come to her.

It’s just so meaningful you guys!!!!!

Even when Jester pulls back again, tries to act distant as she has been doing for days, “can I help you?” she asks trying to sound cold

but unlike before Fjord doesn’t fall for it, because he just heard the truth a second ago. “What did he say?”

And there’s a moment of panic as Jester realizes he heard that, because the only person Jester opens up to more than Fjord is the Traveler and to be caught in that moment of vulnerability is probably off-putting to her (think how she reacted the first time she was overheard by Beau)

She tries to play it off, as if she was waiting for an answer, even if the Traveler has been keeping some distance lately, and Fjord, bless him, gives her an out.

“Jester.” “What?”

HOW DOES TRAVIS WILLINGHAM KILL ME WITH THE DELIVERY OF A SINGLE LINE

He is so soft. Look at the way he looks at her.

“You don’t have to tell me. It’s fine. I appreciate the sentiment.”

AND SHE TRIES TO SPEAK BUT SOMETHING HOLDS HER BACK

whatever she wanted to say, an apology, a declaration, a confession, it gets stuck inside her like it rarely happens with Jester, but Fjord knows her, he doesn’t need words

“It’s okay. You can go.”

AND HE SAYS THIS WORDS, LIBERATING HER OF RESPONSIBILITY AND GUILT, because Fjord knows Jester, he knows she has been by his side every single step of the way, he knows she promised to heal him if something happened, he has seen her been quiet this whole time as he convinced the others to leave him behind and he knows she hates this plan and the idea of being far from him if something goes wrong... but he’s not about to risk her in this, not after the first temple nearly claims her life (remember the kiss? wink wink)

So he’s reassuring, instead, acting calm and in control so that she will be able to leave him behind.

“I really hope he does help you.”

“Me too.”

And there’s that long pause... where they stare at each other and they are heavily aware of everything that could go wrong

LOOK AT THEM

JESTER IS SO WORRIED, SO SAD, SO CONFLICTED

BUT FJORD IS JUST CONTEMPT, JUST LOOKING AT HER WITH SO MUCH LOVE

BECAUSE THIS BRAVE GIRL WOULD STAY HERE WITH HIM WOULD DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT HIM

HE’S OKAY WITH THIS ENDING AS LONG AS SHE’S SAFE

HE’S NOT SCARED BECAUSE SHE’S HERE

*plays Sunflower in the background and sobs quietly*

“Be safe, Fjord.”

LISTEN SHE JUST CARES SO FREAKING MUCH EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY AFTER EVERYTHING

“And also,” Jester leans in with a smile and Fjord leans too, mirroring her naturally, sharing a secret, knowing this part of the script by heart: this is the part where they lift each other up.

“Don’t turn evil,” she says, and she smiles because as much as she has been doubting him, in this moment it feels like she knows it won’t happen, but just in case, “but if you do I’ll still be your friend, you know some people are evil it’s not big deal.”

“Just... don’t turn evil to me.”

Don’t leave me.

Don’t forget me.

Don’t turn on me.

There’s almost a dark taste to this phrase, to this moment, to the idea that even if they break the world together, Jester would be okay as long as he stays by her side. Which is unlikely, knowing her, but still it speaks to a depth of sentiment that carries danger (remember the Briarwoods?”

Fjord laughs, he’s about to face his patron, he was super serious and nervous a second ago, but she makes him laugh.

“Or anyone else? Just you?” 

“Really any of us would be nice but-.”

“Deal.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

And that little shoulder pat, like she needs to touch him for an instant at least to reassure herself and feel him here, maybe for the last time.

okay okay okay okay okay moving on before i keep screaming forever about this wonderful moment

Jester staying behind with Beau to wait for Fjord to come out.

I know it’s ooc but Travis’s face when he realizes she rolled a Nat1 in her Dex safe and gets hit by falling debris as a result was wow

Fjord crushing even harder on Jester every time she is a total badass like with the clutch control water that saved them all.

“Jester, I didn’t know you could mess with water like that.”

“Yeah, Fjord, haven’t you seen me control water before?”

Do you ever think about how showy Avantika was about her new found power and how she used it as a bargaining tool to seduce Fjord, and how far Fjord was willing to go to get that power for himself too, and now he sees Jester not only having it (he’d seen it before but eh memory) but using it in a way more badass way to save him and his friends. The parallels, man, the parallels. And she’s so chill and nonchalant about it, which is wonderful too because it feels like whatever tension there was between them after the dragon has faded away (for now)

Fjord being 110% on board with Jester’s tattooing shenanigans was hilarious to me

“My first priority was just getting Jester to her mama for a hot minute if we could.”

This boy is finally getting his priorities straight and I love how as soon as this whole orb/temple madness was over he was ready to stand back and act as his usual self again, which must definitely be reassuring for Jester too.

Especially when he brings up how he hoped to have a vision about Vandran again, which as someone had pointed out before was a weird area between Jester and Fjord where she almost seemed more intent on finding the old sailor than he did.

 Here we see his priorities stated, and you can feel Jester’s relief

Even when he again rejects the idea of messaging the Plank King (I suspect more out of fear of it having negative repercussions or revealing something disheartening about his mentor).

J: “You should give [the strength potion] to Fjord”

F: “Fuck off.”

J: *carries him* “I’m just kidding.”

THE FRIENDLY BANTER IS BACK Y’ALL

THINGS WILL BE ALRIGHT

Anyway who else is excited about going back to Nicodranas and the Empire and the Gentleman and Traveler Con and Beau and Nott’s backstory and the War and Vandran is alive holy shit I can’t wait????

[just-osomatsu]

Hey man i just want you to know i appreciate you keeping the blog up even if the anons can be a bit,, "much" sometimes. You're great and this blog is great. Osomatsu isn't great tho, fuck you Osomatsu.

WHEW THANK YOU.. i’m sorry it hasn’t been very active and it gets kinda wild when i do start posting so thanks for stickin with me through it all! i’m hijacking your ask to explain my absence let’s get serious under the cut

ToBeHonest it’s gotten really difficult to keep updating it for several reasons but mainly my health as well as the fact that i don’t really care for ososan as much anymore (mainly due to how exhausting the fandom is). physical health still isn’t great but my mental health especially has continued to decline and i can’t afford my medication which creates the fun cycle of Not Being Able To Work Without Medication But Not Being Able To Afford Medication Without Work which is a shitty place to be stuck in. i’m workin through it though. also i haven’t been able to draw for weeks because anxiety/depression have been kicking my ass THAT bad it sucks

then there’s the issue of not liking ososan which kinda makes this blog a chore y’know? i mean, i still like pieces of it, but i’ve been here since beginning and i’ve met so many good and so many bad people and at this point, just about to hit 3 years of -san, and i’m just.. tired. i do still have attachments to this blog, i get nice anons occasionally and today i even got a really wonderful dm from just. random people who wanna be nice and it?? makes me really happy. i appreciate those asks abd messages a lot even if i take a while to respond to them, or to the anons i haven’t responded to at all because i couldn’t get myself to update the blog and i felt too guilty about it to respond to jsut those anons.

and lastly… The Guilt (section title). i feel really bad about how far i’ve strayed from the blog’s original intention: just osomatsu. now it’s cluttered with me talking and not drawing, karamatsu is here, at some point i threw persona into the mix and now the blog is a mess. i feel awful about it, like i’ve disrespected the jyushimatsu blog that inspired this and the other matching blogs that stayed true to their urls. and not only is it filled with shit but i can’t even keep it updated:/ it’s really worn me down i guess.

i’m really conflicted because a part of me still likes this blog but in truth the only thing i really still like is being able to converse with everyone, i love getting silly asks and messages but the rest of it is a chore. i can’t draw and even trying to draw shitposts is nearly impossible for me recently. the only time i do find some enjoyment in it is when i mix fandoms (which is why i keep putting persona on here i don’t realize how much i do that until i scroll thru the blog oops)

i haven’t left the blog yet because i want to be able to come back here and be active and enjoy it again but i haven’t reached that moment yet and instead the guilt just keeps building up

this got really long and i don’t have the energy to read over it so i’m sure it’s unorganized as hell but you guys probably get the point if you even read it

if you did read this far i love u, and to everyone who follows me thank u so much for sticking around especially those of you who’ve been following me for a while. i recognize a lot of my active followers and i wish i could reach out to you guys more, your support means a lot to me! i’m very sorry for my absence, i’m just. stuck and i honestly don’t know what to do at this point, but i’ll keep updating when i can, even if it’s kinda wild or off-topic or ooc or whatever. i can worru about that stuff later if i decide to take this blog seriously again but for now i’ll just have fun with it, and if anyone wants to unfollow or blacklist the url for that reason i don’t mind

i have a main blog (although i haven’t been on tumblr much lately) and a twitter that i occasionally give out to those who dm me and i feel it’s safe to share with, so if anyone’s interested that’s always an option if you wanna be in contact. i suck at conversations though so if you try to make small talk i will litcherally die.

uhh i think that’s it, sorry this is so long and i’m still not reading over it so good fucking luck if you choose to read it

[taecheeks]

Annual Writing Self Evaluation 2018

I wasn’t tagged in this but I wanted to do it so here we go

ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2018

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 10

2. Word count posted for the year: 774,856 lakdjflkjfladklf

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting): (my wips are in order of when I last updated, not when I first posted)

Through Time I Found You (I feel like I posted this 9837473 years ago, I can’t believe it’s been less than a year since i posted my last ziam fic)

Enticing

play with me

Greedy

Wandering

media naranja

Kinktober ‘18

Maybe

Home For Christmas

Nodus Tollens

4. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction/Zayn, BTS

5. Pairings: Liam Payne/Zayn Malik, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung, Park Jimin/Min Yoongi, Park Jimin/Min Yoongi/Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin, and Kinktober has multiple pairings.

6. Story with the most:

Kudos: Nodus Tollens and then media naranja (this one was the fastest to get kudos, so I’m adding it)

Bookmarks: the same ^^

Comments: Nodus Tollens and then Through Time I Found You

7. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Nodus Tollens because it’s a lot different than what I’m used to writing and it was very difficult plot wise and characterization wise, but I’m happy with the way it turned out. There’s things that need to be fixed because I kind of just wrote and let the plot develop itself, and I was sure people wouldn’t like the plot twists. I also love my characters, I’m so attached to them. It’s also my longest fic and I don’t feel as if it’s dragging on, so I’m happy about that.

Also, media naranja. I wrote this fic as a break from the angst in nodus tollens and I was attempting to write a crack fic, and just a stupid/dirty overall fic and I actually got really great feedback for it. It made me really happy write it and really happy to see it do well. 

I didn’t think Through Time I Found You was last year but since it was, I’m going to mention that one too. That was SO hard for me to write because of the dialogue and because it took place in the 18th century. But my writing really improved because of that fic (and my amazing beta for that fic). 

8. Work I’m least proud of (and why): None really. I post a lot of pwps that probably could be better, but there’s none I would say I’m not proud of. 

9. A favorite excerpt of your writing: ugh this is hard did you see the WC from this year kldjalkfjda. Here’s something from NT I was really excited to share:

“The new living room is a little off putting. Taehyung’s definition of homey means a little messy - his tattered couch a big eye sore in the middle of the room but after a few nights cuddling with Taehyung on it, he’s starting to fall in love with it.

Taehyung’s a little messy too, their relationship or whatever it can be called a little messy, but Jeongguk’s past the point of falling in love with it.”

And then here’s one from Wandering bc that fic is my baby and sope are platonic soulmate brothers and I need them to be happy and finish the story okay:

Admittedly, Yoongi has never understood the phrase “seeing red” when angered.

He understands now.

It is a volcano inside of him, moments away from erupting and destroying everything around him. The only thing keeping him from yelling at the group of people in the waiting room, who never fucking called him, and the doctors who waste his time, is Hoseok.

The shallow breathing doesn’t calm his anger, but it keeps the tremble in his limbs at bay. The flinch of Hoseok’s fingers against his own makes it difficult not to squeeze on tight in a hope of waking him up.

It is too difficult to look at him bandaged up, his face so swollen and bruised he is almost unrecognizable. So Yoongi rests his cheek on their clasped hands where he sits beside him and stares at the monitor instead. He’s thankful they took the breathing tube from him, it made it too difficult to look at him.

“Never thought I’d wake up next to that face.”

Yoongi rubs his sleep ridden eyes against the soft sheets. There is a slight quirk to Hoseok’s lips as he makes an attempt at squeezing Yoongi’s hand.

“Savor the moment, it won’t happen again,” Yoongi mumbles as he sits up. It is still difficult to look at him, but Hoseok doesn’t look his way either so he can divert his eyes for the time being. “Special circumstances.”

Hoseok attempts to laugh, but he ends up groaning instead. “Don’t make me laugh. I feel like a bucket of shit.”

“You look it,” says Yoongi, but the joke doesn’t feel genuine. He knows he should call the doctor, but there is a flicker of fear in his chest at the idea of leaving his side.

“What’s the damage?”

The doctors had told him the moment he stepped inside of the room, but Yoongi couldn’t focus on anything but the sight before him and the rage he felt at whoever did this.

“They broke your face. A um - in your stomach. Stitches, lots of stitches.”

A tightness takes over his throat and he swallows it down as he finally moves to the door to call the nurse. He can’t say it. Stabbed .

“I don’t remember much. It was dark. Nari, is she okay?”

Yoongi’s heart drops into his stomach as he sits by the bed again. “Your parents are out of state. But mine are here if you need them.”

This seems like a better thing to tell Hoseok, but it makes his chest ache.

Assholes, they always have been.

“I told them I was your brother so they would get off my ass.”

Hoseok snorts. “Idiots. You’re too ugly to be my brother.”

10. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Ah, I received so many great reviews this year. I am quite lucky.  I think my favorite recently was the latest on Nodus Tollens, which says: “ WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK” x 3934 lmao

11. A time when writing was really, really hard: This year has been pretty good for writing. The last couple years, I’ve been struggling. But this year, not so much. There were times where the plot was a bit heavy and difficult and I couldn’t figure out how to get it to where I wanted, or I realized I messed up a timeline and I had to work around that, but overall, pretty good. 

12. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Um Sope in Wandering. Like, it was supposed to focus on the romantic ships in that fic but it focuses on the platonic ones more. And sope a lot. I really, really enjoy their relationship in that fic.

Also, Bobby in Nodus Tollens. He’s a minor character in the fic, but I also get a lot of feedback about it. He’s a, bad guy but with a tortured past so you feel for him and realize he’s not really a bad guy. That trope, I’m protective of him and I’m sad when I write his scenes.

13. How did you grow as a writer this year: Specifically? Not sure. I got better at commas lmao. I’ve tested myself and wrote things I hadn’t before. I went from really dark to comical stories, I wrote different kinks. I wrote characters as bad when they aren’t in real life, which I normally don’t like doing. I’m not usually a big fan of writing characters OOC, but I’ve gotten more comfortable if it’s appropriate for the story I’m writing. I put a lot of my own self into stories, I wrote about something very traumatic that happened to me in one - something that I haven’t even talked about really. 

14. How do you hope to grow next year: I can be a bit repetitive within my writing, I am working on this and I hope I improve. (Like for example, in the fic I’m about to post in a few days, I wrote JK saying he’s suffering and dying like 343 times lmao.) I also really suck at outlining and planning out fics in advance, which hasn’t been a huge issue but it’s offered me some roadblocks that I need to focus on bettering.

15. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): Oh man, well I’ve read some really amazing fics and the writing was so beautiful that it offered me a lot of motivation. @strawberrysuga is always a huge support for me and my writing, even though ambra offers me like 9897 au ideas when I’m trying to focus on the 8979 ones I’ve already written. There’s a lot of people on twitter who come to me between updates and though I write for myself, seeing their feedback and their love and encouragement has been such a good influence on me. 

16. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Oh yeah, every one of my fics has part of me in it whether it’s a character based on someone I know, or an event in my life. Wandering has a lot of it; the police scene, Taehyung hating cheese (me), it takes place in NE where I grew up. One of my fics has a scene based on me and my girlfriend. Umm so yeah a lot lol

17. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: So, this year was a good year for me and I was nervous because I was in a new fandom. As much as I’ve done well, I’ve never really gotten negative comments on my fics before until this year. And none of them were about my writing or my storyline, but unnecessary/rude comments. Like someone didn’t like how often a side ship showed up. Things like that. They bothered me, not necessarily because I took it personal, but because I can’t believe people can be so rude and think it’s okay to be that way lol. I think this will always continue to happen, I think it’s best to ignore these comments and try to focus on the good ones. Because the bad ones stand out, but there were very few compared to the good ones - but the bad always stands out more than the good. And it’s important not to focus on the bad. 

18. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m actually writing a fic right now I’m very excited to post. It was supposed to be a ‘I’ve never kissed anyone, please teach me’ type fic, but it’s not quite that anymore haha. There’s a lot of frog references because Jungkook’s an animal biology major who loves amphibians lakjldfkjda 

19. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: since I stole this, you can steal this from me and say I tagged you mwah

[psykerscum]

Big ol’ ooc

Sappy mush below cut

You guys maybe could, but probably can’t understand just how much people asking my stupid characters questions actually means to me. Or how like, just in general wanting to write with me/being supportive even if our muses haven’t interacted yet or just being here changed my goddamn life. I have been working on these marines on and off since 2012.  I made scum in 2009, and she was a loyalist at the time.  Just functioning as an avatar. Clearly things changed a lot for me since. 

Those of you that follow my personal blog have probably seen me be big and vague about a long stint of emotional abuse, from two particular people, and I’m sadly not here to clarify much on that, just that it more or less stunted my growth as a writer, and as an artist, as well as socially emotionally blahblahblah it fucked me up and it still fucks me up from time to time.  I gave up drawing for something like 5 years when I used to draw every day. I had only dabbled in creative writing beforehand and the rest of it was just telling myself stories in my head or instant-messaging roleplaying with people I could explicitly trust (and, obviously, some I really shouldn’t have.)

I wasn’t able to imagine a life where I could show the world my work and actually have anybody care, or like it. Not fanart, that always has an audience, but... my things.  Or want to hear more about them. Or actually want to smooch my boys instead of just treating them like some kind of fucking....extension of their personal property and some smutt toy. Or think that my once shameful avatar was compelling enough to let her have an arc and be more than just a moe blob.  

Like, this thing that I’m living right now is basically akin to wild fantasy. I don’t know how to describe how impossible this all feels. 

and people are willing to let me be slow and nervous and figure this shit out on my own time

what the fuck??

Basically, I owe ... a lot, of this recent progress in my mental health to you guys. When my tumblr first blew up I was scared. I panicked and cried a lot. I had nightmares that I would become immediately struck down because I drew something wrong, or that I was trying too hard to be funny.  I had actual nightmares about waking up and seeing my inbox full of people telling me to kill myself, and having no idea what I’d done. 

But that didn’t happen. People calmly poked me and waited, even if I started crying in complete terror just trying to hold a conversation. People let me settle in and find footing and (mostly) didn’t pressure me.  I drew more and more. I drew more than the last 4 years combined in June/July. People started...to ask...me stuff. On my personal blog. Like they actually wanted to talk to me and I just...

Was this... real? I don’t know. I wanted it to be because I liked it. I liked being talked to, or just feeling like my dumb opinion mattered. Even if its just the same anon because I can’t prove its not, haha.

All of it’s culminated in a person that I’m happier to wake up being. I am slowly getting more confident with my writing even if I still panic and edit 2 1/2 paragraphs for six hours sometimes  and finally moving ahead with characters that have been sitting in rough concept stages for years. Like... fuck guys. Even when I’m burnt out, I don’t want to stop, and I think that I can even keep going.  

It wracks my brain in a good way, trying to wonder what you all see in me because I still don’t see this good person or talent you talk about, but I’m getting better and better at not doubting that people mean it when they say it and... and that, for me, is huge.

So just... Thank you.

[tgrbild]

                      WILDSUIT’S   200+   BIAS   LIST !!!

ooc.   hey guuuuys!! i’m proud to say that i finally hit 200 followers on kotetsu! i sure wish i knew why or how you’re all here. regardless, it’s nice to have this many people! && i feel like it’d only be right to thank the many people i follow that helped me get here. before i go into this list, though, i want everyone to know that JUST because you may not be on this list doesn’t mean that i don’t like you, i’m just a forgetful person! you’re still very special to me, even if i don’t mention you on here.  ( also.........excuse the. very grainy look of the gif. i hate gifs.) alright, let’s get into it!

THOSE WHO ARE NEAR MY HEART. ❤

@bopnty​: jimjam, when i first thought of making this promo, you were, admittedly, the first that popped into my head. you have been nothing but sweet and kind to me, you have given me your utmost support, and you and i have both given each other mile long replies about our characters. to me, you are a very special friend that deserves and has sufficiently earned their place on this list. i have no idea where i’d probably be on kotetsu’s character if it weren’t for you. talking deeply with you about the anime we watch and how deep kotetsu and spike’s relationship is has always been fun with you? like. i don’t know how to put it into words, but talking with you about everything and anything is so much fun. you get me, and i think that that’s what truly makes me see the warmth that resonates within you. you’re no longer just “that one spike spiegel blog,” you’ve become “the ONLY spike spiegel blog” for me. beyond your writing abilities, you’re a lovely person that i’m so glad to have met and gotten to know. i hope that, no matter what, we’re still able to talk even when we’re dying. thank you so much for introducing me to CBBB, because it was the wildest ride i’ve ever had, and i love seeing you talk about spike and the bebop crew. hope you have an amazing day!

@icesuit​: kat! you have been with me since my fire emblem days, and if i remember correctly, that was like legit a year and a half ago. we’re still friends, in spite of everything! it really just comes to show how powerful our friendship is. anyway, look, i really want you to know that i love the way you write blue rose. i love the fact that, in spite of watching only a portion of T&B, you’ve managed to capture her character so accurately, i almost call you blue rose or karina from time to time! your writing is very inspirational and elegant, and i always take a read at it to get inspired. every character you play, you’ve played amazingly, and i hope we can continue to interact. i want you to know that if there’s absolutely anything i could do for you, never hesitate to ask. i’d be more than happy to help!

@bunsuit​: QUIN!!! you’re honestly my... #1 bunny? you’ve constantly talked w/ me abt T&B and you honestly write barnaby so well im so impressed all of the time? we just recently met, but talking to you feels like i’ve spoken with you for ages. i enjoy any time i’m able to talk to you, because no matter what, each conversation is lovelier than the last. i love listening to what you have to say? and i love talking about kotetsu and barnaby with you? watching the T&B movie with you and cole was the start of our friendship, and truth be told, i’ve come to cherish it. you’re very kind, and your writing abilities are beyond incredible. i hope that we can talk a lot more in the future! i love you a whole lots, quin!!

@skysuit​: if it isn’t what the kids call...................cole ;) ; J;DKLF ;DLJ HI COLE!!! I REALLY LOVE YOU A LOT TOO every conversation with you is so wild like. holy shit? we’ve talked about kotetsu and keith and kotetsu’s like drunk and keith wants to die like. truly? we know what the fuck is going on. FUCK I KNOW YOU SINCE LIKE the fire emblem fandom too, and then i went on to ace attorney and saw you there too?? i love you like, you’re really funny and great to interact with. also, you enabled me to make my retinz blog what the fuck? like damn what an enabler :/ LISTEN BABE DF G;FJ;D I LOVE U UR TOO KIND TO ME HONESTLY?? you were the one who helped me choose the right gif and who else can i thank but you for that?

@bisonsuit​:��OH SHIT IT’S SHIGURE!!! shig when you made rock bison i was honestly? crytyping because i never thought that someone would make kotetsu’s best friend. i never thought that i’d have this entire squad to begin with!! talking with you is very fun, and i love both of the threads that we have going on. i always feel like you’re doing a great job at writing antonio, and i love our rps on discord bc they’re fun too?? i really have to reply now that i think about it oops /// but hey, forget that for now! the point is, i love you and i love your writing! thank you so much for making a lot of fun for me, you’re another quintessential part of my life here!

@copysuit​: DESSIIIIIII AAAAAAAAA YOU WERE ONE OF THE FIRST T&B RPERS I HAD CONTACT WITH ON HERE!! we don’t talk as much as we used to, but talking to you, when possible, is so great! i really love the way you write kaede. i feel like you capture her perfectly while also managing to keep things as unique as possible. i hope that you have an amazing day, and that we’re able to rp soon!

@wiildfan​: QUEENIEEEEE YOU’RE THE TIGER WIFE THAT I LOVE SO MUCH! when you made tomoe, i, admittedly, was so afraid because Lord it’s kotetsu’s wife? that he loves oh so very much? fjk dl;fjk you’ve done an amazing job w/ tomoe, and im so glad that it’s you who’s writing her and not anyone else? your tomoe has been very inspiring and cute, and i hope to see more of her in the future!! even if there’s small content for her, i love the fact that you manage to keep the essence of her character intact like please.......step on me?

@heroproduced​: KOKO??? FUCK. PLEASE STEP ON ME. i’ve known you from danganronpa but god i can’t lie when i say that like. i love your passion for agnes and her character? i love how you manage to go deeper than what is presented to us in the series, and give a more rich and developed understanding of her. you manage to show that she’s not just some bitch, but she’s a woman in the 1970s trying to fucking do a good job because that was a time where women having this type of position was rare. i love the way you talk about her, and i love the way you treat others? you’re literally THE mom friend, koko. im so glad that we’re friends!!

@homosinger​: GOD...IT’S ANTHONY. you’re probably the guy that made me make a crack tag on this blog. but tbh? THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!! you’ve made rping a really fun experience, and talking to you OOC is always really great and fun. I DON’T HAVE MUCH TO SAY HERE BC U KNOW HOW I FEEL ABT YOU??? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DUDE PLZ NEVER CHANGE!!

@wildsuit​: literally who the fuck are you

THOSE WILD ROARS I LOVE JUST AS MUCH. ✫

this section is for all the people who i don’t really speak to as much (or at all), but you are still just as important in my heart. i love all of you very much, and i will continue to follow you all for your amazing blogs and writing!!

@kyoukokiwigiri​ / @kigajesuta​ / @shushc​ / @diamondkaito​ / @inviai​ / @military-shop-untouchable​ / @insurpasse​ / @pantherdyne​ / @beautiihurts​ / @godschose​ / @thievinggentleman​ / @gravitiprince​ / @samurai-esquire​ / @vitiicsus​ / @bluerrxse​ / @pyoniumyankee​ / @yosuru​ / @yamiisha​ / @divinecock​ / @qrowned​ / @rosalithe​ / @pescaprincipessa​ / @shogekiha​ / @ideaofjustice​ / @naruthot​ / @softgenius​ / @thornsong​ / @redriict​ / @vocaead​ / @licnelle​ / @warriorcrown​ / @froghopped​ / @intercosmiic​ / @blackdogbeat​ / @4thhacker​ / @dadmighty​ / @slitends​ / @sweaterquccn​ / @starbooms​ / @edbopped​ / @bludcmon​ / @hardluckfaye​ / @greenroar​ / @vcngful​ / @empowcred​ / @emperorled​ / @freedomfallen / @mightyfrail / @prevvasilyevna / @501di3r76 / @rockinriot

thank you all for being here!!!

[vieuxnoyesrp]

  ⚜  One year since the inception of Vieux Noyés RP!  ⚜

In honor of a year of creativity, inspiration, and much, much love, we’d like to share with you a glimpse at how much VN has meant to us in the past year. Where we were then, and how far we’ve come, all thanks to you. ♥

- Rose -

To me, VN is the definition of a labour of love. First, it was a love of these characters and a desire to see them explored in a more intimate and, in my opinion, authentic way. To see them develop to their full potential without the hindrance of time, commercial appeal or tv budgets. At the same time it was a love of collaboration with the two beautiful and incredibly talented women I have at my side; Kailey and Rimsha. They were the ones who inspired me to pursue this idea, who told me that I could, even when I doubted it. Without them; without Kailey’s enthusiastic push and overconfidence in me, without Rimsha’s affectionate cheerleading, VN may very well not have happened. 

It wasn’t always smooth sailing though; VN came with a lot of hard work (both collaborative and independent), endless brainstorming sessions, and the occasional heated passionate debate - just to keep things interesting. Throughout easy days and not-so-easy days, we’ve stuck it out as a team. I have so much trust and respect for these ladies that I could go on for pages. But suffice it to say, given the chance to do it all again, I couldn’t and wouldn’t have chosen a more trusted team by my side.

Last but not least, VN to me, became a deep fondness and love for the roleplayers we’ve been fortunate enough to attract. Every day I read the dash and am awed to have such extraordinary talent in our group. I check into the OOC after a long day at work - and it feels like coming home. You support one another, laugh together, and pick each other up on the rough days. This, to me, is undoubtedly the best thing about VN. And I am so humbled and so grateful to each and every one of you for joining and bolstering this dream.

A year ago, I was coming out of a difficult period in my life. I had recently lost my grandmother, I was struggling with a job I disliked, and I was studying for take-two of the MCAT/medical school entry exam (0/10 would not recommend, would not do again). I was down on my self-esteem, uncertain of my future, and kept joking about how I’d hit a ’Quarter Life Crisis’. A year since, and I’m in a much happier place; accepted into medical school, content with the present and yet looking forward to the future. So many of you have helped support me through this process and encouraged me through the crappy days. Thank you. Thanks so much to each and every one of you for making the dream a reality and joining us on this wild ride! Here’s to many more anniversaries to come! Laissez les bons temps rouler! ♥ ⚜

Also if you read all this you’re a champ. You go, Glen Coco

- Rimsha -

It’s hard to believe that we’ve come full circle. I remember well how and when the idea of VN was conceived. A brilliant idea that bloomed in Rose’s mind and one for which she had a lot of devotion and determination to see it realized. Like Rose, I too was going through a bit of a rough patch in life at the time -- turmoil on the career and Academic front, even within my family unit. Once VN had taken flight, it had fueled me to spend time plotting, planning, tinkering and helping bring it to life. A place that would house our muses for the supernatural, TO, and TVD character portrayals. But boy has it turned out to be so much more than that. I think it's safe to say that it's has exceeded our expectations, and then some.

It has been an honour being on the admin team of this roleplay, an honour to meet and interact with such a talented roster of writers who’ve brought so much enthusiasm. The part that particularly makes me proud is that we've been able to build a community, nay, a family. It's an environment where everyone truly shares ideas, moments, and most importantly supports one another. I cannot count the amount of times we’ve practically gushed on our admin chat about how it makes our hearts swell to see all of your reaching out to one another. I love how literally everyone has taken to the "no one gets left behind " mentality that we advocated from the very beginning. Thank you so much guys for all that you do, and please keep up that stellar streak. You’ve played an immense role in helping VN come this far. 

Unlike my two kick-ass admins, this was my first shot at admining. But I can definitely say that I’ve learned a whole lot from them over the course of this year. I think both Kailey and Rose deserve a hell of a lot of credit for all the time and effort they’ve put into this roleplay, for remaining so determined, for being there to restore my own drive, and also for being a bottomless pool of inspiration. To you both, I just wanna say, thank you for including me in your vision, for guiding me, and showing me the ropes. I’m honoured to work along side the two of you. And cannot wait to hatch more great plans with you. 

But while we’ve come this far, this is still only the beginning. So here’s to making many more memories. Stay awesome VN Fam! <3

- Kailey - 

It’s hard for me to think back to this time last year, to remember what a different person I was, how different my life was from where I am now. A year ago, I was finishing off my first year of grad school, the year I thought would for sure be the hardest year of my life wrong. My baby, my dream, Lifelines RP, had died, and with it, it had felt like I had lost all of my creative movement. Any desire to write had been drained from me in a lethal combination of literary grief and end-of-term papers. And then came VN. 

I’ve been known for being a bit overenthusiastic when I’ve got a plot rolling through my mind, and the minute the idea of VN was put before me, well I have to admit I was relentless, obsessed, inspired. I maybe bullied Rose into believing she could do this, and I don’t regret it for a single moment. Between the three of us, with Rose’s unending patience and passion, Rimsha’s incredible talent for world-building, and my dogged bites at their heels, VN was born. VN became beautiful, right in front of our eyes. We were so nervous, to tell you guys the truth. There was so much we could, and did, get wrong on the way here. But we stuck it out, and then, came you. 

We had hoped that our OOC would be a comfortable place, where people felt free to chat and share about themselves, where they felt like they had friends to talk to. But this? You guys have blown us away. You’ve opened your hearts to us, and you’ve jumped full-throttle onto our crazy train, and taken us places we had never even hoped we could go. VN’s become my life, my hobby, my work, my pride. My supervisor wants to join, guys. I kid you not. VN’s become my second family, something I had no idea how much I would need this year. 

I haven’t been around as often as I’d like to be, but I’m with you all every day, marveling in the beauty of the space and the stories we share. A year ago, Rose lost her grandmother, and we didn’t have VN yet. With how devastated she was, I wasn’t sure we’d ever write together again. In its infinite cruelty, I’m on my way home tomorrow, to (hopefully) see my grandpa one more time before he passes. I’m not okay, to be honest, but I know I’ll have my family, both of them, with me the whole time. I can’t tell you how much you all mean to me, and how closely I carry you to my heart each and every single day. 

                With love from our hearts to yours, may we write many more stories together,                                                     your admins ♥ 

                       ⚜  Laissez les bons temps rouler! ⚜

[kazeshinigami]

ANGEL. stuff’s under the cut bc it got long…

skyvar replied to your post

Headcanons make your portrayal more unique and gives the character more soul. As long it doesn't contradict Canon ur hcs, is your portrayal still Canon, sorta, just better because you can answer plotholes, explain this or that etc.

deusuprema replied to your post

^^^^headcanons are the heart of a rp blog together with writing!!!! as long as they are explored in depth and explained, they will only add quality to ur portrayal

zetsumei-shuuto replied to your post

((Tbh, heavily headcanoned portrayals are great. They're unique & add more depth. I understand your anxiety tho :// But your Shuuhei is great & lovable.))

meishutori replied to your post

//but consider this: your portrayal is GREAT /BECAUSE/ of how much headcanon you throw in. Makes him unique and shows your passion for his character!! We love you Angel!!! And your SHUU! <3

ANGEL. thank you all for your encouragement!!!! ;0; i can’t express how much your support means to me!! i just i guess want to check myself to make sure i’m doing everything i can to write shuu to the best of my ability (maybe that’s just on me as a perfectionism flaw idk), and lately i’ve come to doubt several aspects of how i’ve written him for the majority of my time here due to this kind of high bar i set for myself. maybe if i word-vomit a little about it, having second opinions can help me sort out if i ought to seriously change something or if i’m overthinking?

(1) figuring out how to write shuuhei’s personality is frustrating because he’s (as far as my memory can retrieve) more or less the only character who seems to have a complete personality switch whenever the situation is comedic. in (a) filler episodes, (b) extra omake comics, or (c) some light novels (i’m mainly thinking of wdkaly), he is portrayed as the clueless butt of everyone’s jokes. conversely, i can count on one hand the times shuuhei acts even remotely silly in the actual manga (with the main instance being in the second to last chapter). for the vast majority of the time, he is almost emotionless (aside from his interactions with/about tousen)? so it’s tough to put these pieces together in a way that isn’t self-contradictory. i always feel like there’s some side of shuuhei’s personality i could be writing better, but it seems like, in order to do so, i have to sacrifice one part for another part.

(2) as a side note to that, i still don’t feel like i’ve fully grasped all the nuances of shuuhei and kazeshini’s interplay. that’s really frustrating, since i think kazeshini is meant to expose a particular dark side of shuuhei’s soul.

(3) one of the things emphasized in shuuhei’s comic-relief side is his crush on rangiku. i know more than once he has a nosebleed because of her in these situations. i looked up the meaning of the nosebleed trope recently and it’s confirmed something i was already worried it would: this trope almost always means that the guy having the nosebleed has no other sexual outlet. since for a while i’ve been writing shuuhei as being very sexually active, this now makes me feel like i’m ooc on this point. but, because the nosebleeds only happens in filler episodes and such, am i even supposed to take it seriously? if i ignore it, is that just my being stubborn in not wanting to have to rethink my whole backstory for shuu and thereby invalidate a lot of the really great interactions i’ve had on here? did i write his backstory that way in the first place because i really thought that was the best way to explain what influenced him during his formative years, or did i just want to write shuu a certain way, regardless of if there was a better (and idk less problematic™) option?

(4) something that has come to frustrate me a bit about rp vs. fic is that an rper seems to be expected to stick to one set of headcanon for the main verse of their character. however, in fic, i have seen one writer explore many different incompatible hc for one character through separate fics that each highlights a different hc. there’s something really freeing about that, and it makes me want to write fic more? but at the same time, it makes me doubt why i’m even rping if i’m stressing this much about something that should be a fun hobby.

there’s probably more, but i can just tell i’m stressing way more than i should about this stuff.