#only to get to work this morning and told that they were messy and gross and I did a bad job etc. like okay I just won’t next time

[polyamorouspunk]

I hope I'm like you when I grow up

[wholoveseggs]

Hey, just an idea that would work really well, I think. Can you do a smut with a horribly jealous Elijah? They have a casual affair going because she has severe intimacy issues, but Elijah is deeply in love and needs her to realize that?

Strings

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

You've denied what your heart wants for so long and Elijah is tired of waiting.

♡♡ Thanks for the request, I may have gotten a little carried away with this one ♡♡

6.2k words - Warnings: smut, lots of drinking / drunkenness, men being gross, white knight Elijah, dom!elijah (as dom as I can write it, I'm just a sappy romantic), rough(ish) sex, rim job (f!receiving), blood drinking, biting & hangovers.

{Moodboard->}

It was annoying, really, how good Elijah was in bed. You never thought you would be the kind of girl who would lose your mind over a simple touch, but you couldn't get enough. You had never felt this way, even after months of sex, and it was maddening.

You had started sleeping together on a whim, one night of drinking leading to a night of fun. It was just meant to be a one-time thing, but it became more frequent, and then more, until you found yourself spending more time with him than alone.

‘No strings attached’ you had said when you first started sleeping together, but as time went on, Elijah was getting more and more attached and so were you.

When you were underneath him, clinging to his strong shoulders, panting and moaning as he completely unraveled you, it was easy to forget that it was supposed to be casual. But then his gaze would lock onto yours, those dark intense eyes with so much love pouring out of them and you couldn't stand it.

You would close your eyes and look away, your heart beating so hard you thought it would explode. He would always pause for a second, then keep going.

This wasn't supposed to happen, this wasn't the deal, and you wanted him to stop, but at the same time you didn't. The look he gave you frightened you, it was like he was seeing inside your soul, seeing all the parts of you that you tried so hard to keep secret.

Elijah had never hidden the fact that he wanted more from you, but he had respected your boundaries. He hid how much it hurt him when you told him that you didn't want more, and you knew that, yet he kept going, because he couldn't stay away from you.

He would give you anything you asked for, and he would take anything you gave him, and he would never tell you that he was unhappy.

He was always so good to you.

Until you started seeing other people.

And then he wasn't so good.

Elijah heard the click of your boots before you even entered the compound. He'd been listening for them all morning, his ears trained to the sound, his heart lifting every time a woman with the right footfall walked in. Only when he'd heard you arrive would he relax his shoulders, his mind no longer consumed with the idea of you and another man together.

It was a new torture. Before, he had just wanted you. Now, he had you, and he knew that someone else was touching you, and that someone wasn't him.

"Beks! Beks! Oh my God, what a night!" You came bounding through the courtyard, you had a coffee in one hand and a fresh bouquet of flowers in the other. Still in the same clothes you left in last night, the only change was your makeup smudged, your hair a little messy.

Elijah watched you from the balcony above. You hadn't seen him yet. You were too busy gushing to Rebekah, who had been waiting eagerly for your return.

"What happened? I lost you after we did those shots with Klaus." Rebekah asked, taking the flowers and looking you over.

"Okay, you know that hot guy who was flirting with me at the bar? Well I went to some house party with him and a few of his friends," You said, sitting down next to Rebekah and taking a long sip of coffee. "So we were all drinking, and then we did some shots, and then a couple of lines, and then one thing led to another..."

You trailed off, grinning at her. She gave you a look, gesturing for you to go on.

Elijah tried his best not to listen, but he could help himself. He had never been able to resist the sound of your voice.

"So what happened?" She asked.

"Well, we ended up in the kitchen and he was fucking me against the counter," You said with a giggle.

"Was he any good?"

"Not really," You replied, taking a big gulp of coffee and rolling your eyes. "But the kitchen was real fancy, and there was a maid who saw us."

Rebekah laughed, shaking her head.

"That is classic, darling," She said, handing you back the flowers.

"Yeah, and then when I was on my way out in the morning I stole these right out of a vase," You said proudly, putting them down on the table next to you.

The sound of your giggles floated up to him. It was utterly infuriating, and at the same time, it was like a balm to his soul.

Elijah had never felt this way before.

Pure, untamed, jealousy.

He knew he shouldn't care, he knew he should be happy for you, but he couldn't stop thinking about you with other men. He couldn't stop wondering what it was like, what they were like. What did they say to you, did they make you laugh, did they touch you the way he did?

Did you want them, the way you wanted him?

And most importantly, why wasn't he enough?

"So are you going to see him again? Did he get your number?" Rebekah asked, breaking Elijah out of his dark thoughts.

"No, and yes. He wanted to go out again tonight," You replied.

"Are you going to say yes?"

"Maybe," You said, shrugging. "I'd prefer to go out with you guys, though. Maybe we could get Kol to come along."

"That would be lovely, maybe we could even convince Elijah to join," Rebekah said, smiling mischievously.

Elijah perked up at this and decided to make his presence known. He descended the stairs, trying to appear nonchalant, his usual charming self.

"Good morning, ladies," He said, his eyes fixed on you. You turned and smiled, and it made his heart skip a beat.

"Hey," You replied, grinning.

"We were just talking about going out tonight," Rebekah said, glancing between you.

"Oh? Where are you going?" Elijah asked.

"Not sure yet, wherever Beks wants," You replied. "But we were thinking that we could all go, you included."

Elijah tried not to react. He didn't want to go anywhere, not if you were going to bring one of your...paramours.

"Maybe," He said, keeping his tone light.

"Aw, come on, please?" You begged, flashing him those big, pretty eyes and batting your eyelashes.

"Yes, come with us," Rebekah joined in.

Elijah knew he would cave, like always. He couldn't say no to you, not when you looked at him like that.

"Fine," He agreed, and Rebekah and you cheered.

"It'll be fun, I promise," You said, and Elijah hoped so. He didn't think he could take much more of this.

Elijah found himself in the back of a car with his siblings. He had tried to stay home, to come up with an excuse, but Rebekah had dragged him out the door and into the car, saying that she didn't want him to sit at home and brood all night.

You were sitting in the passenger seat, talking animatedly to Rebekah. Klaus was driving, and Kol was on the phone with Davina, telling her all about the plans for the night.

"I can't believe we managed to get you out of the house without you wearing a suit," you teased, admiring his outfit. He had opted for a white shirt and black pants, his sleeves rolled up and his collar unbuttoned. He looked ridiculously good.

"I can dress casually, when I want to," He said, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"Maybe when you are going to bed," You replied, winking. He raised his eyebrows and smirked, the sight of it sending a rush of heat to your core.

"I'd be happy to show you, if you would like," He said, his voice deep and sexy.

The rest of the Mikaelsons didn't know about the affair you and Elijah were having. It was meant to be casual, you didn't want anything serious, and so the two of you were keeping it a secret. But they definitely suspected something was up, considering the flirting, the longing looks, and the time Klaus saw Elijah sneaking out of your room.

"Maybe later, if you're lucky," You shot back, giving him a wink.

He chuckled and shook his head, trying not to grin like an idiot. He was failing.

"Don't mind me, I'll just sit here and pretend I can't hear any of this," Kol interjected, looking up from his phone.

"Hush, brother," Elijah said, and Kol made a face, returning his attention to Davina.

You continued talking to Rebekah and Kol, trying to ignore the heat of Elijah's gaze on you.

When you arrived at the club, Kol immediately disappeared to go find Davina and Klaus was swarmed by women within seconds of entering the place.

You and Rebekah got drinks, and Elijah stayed close, trying not to stare at the way you moved your hips, the way your skin glowed in the dark, the way the tight dress you wore clung to your curves.

"Dance with me," You said, turning and holding out a hand. Elijah hesitated, his eyes roaming your body.

"I don't dance," He said.

"Liar," You accused, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the crowd. He followed, letting you lead him.

Once you reached the dance floor, you started moving to the beat. Your hands rested on his chest, his arms wrapping around you, the two of you moving together. The way you felt around him was indescribable, and you never wanted to leave his embrace.

The music was loud, and the people were packed together. He could feel the warmth of your body, the softness of your skin, the way your breath hitched when he pulled you closer.

You leaned in close, your lips brushing against his ear, and he inhaled sharply.

"Come on, Elijah, have some fun," You purred.

"I'm having plenty of fun," He replied, his voice low and rough.

"Are you sure? You seem a little tense," You teased, your hand slipping under the bottom of his shirt, feeling his skin.

"I'm sure," He said, his hand resting on your waist.

You smiled, your eyes glittering with mischief.

"Let's go somewhere quieter, then," You suggested, pulling him away from the dance floor and towards a secluded corner.

"Is that a good idea?" He asked, his tone serious, but his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Probably not," You replied, and he grinned.

You stopped, the two of you hidden by shadows, and Elijah pressed his lips to yours. You could taste the hint of whiskey, the faint scent of his cologne lingering on his skin. 

He was so gentle, his hands cupping your cheeks as he kissed you slowly, his lips warm and soft against yours. You wanted something more aggressive from him, you tugged at his hair, trying to deepen the kiss, but he kept his pace slow, steady, torturous.

You pulled away, the alcohol coursing through your veins, your head spinning. You could hear your heartbeat thumping in your ears, feel his breath hot on your cheek.

He was gazing at you, his eyes dark and intense, and you felt a surge of fear and vulnerability that made you snap.

"Stop. Doing. That." You said, pulling away.

"What?"

"Looking at me like that," You replied.

"How am I looking at you?"

"Like...like..." You trailed off, unsure how to explain it. Like he was looking at you like he loved you, like he wanted you. It was unsettling.

"Like I love you? Because I do."

"Shut up," You muttered, avoiding his gaze.

He took your chin and forced you to look at him. His expression was serious, his gaze boring into yours.

"What do I have to do to convince you?" He said pressing you further into the wall, his body trapping yours.

"Do I have to fuck you so hard you never think about another man again?" He growled. "Is that what you want?"

You stared at him, unable to speak.

"Do you want me to tear off your clothes right here and now, and fuck you against the wall, where anyone could see us? Is that what it will take to convince you?" He said, his voice low and husky.

Your mouth opened, but no words came out.

He chuckled, and his lips were on yours, kissing you deeply, passionately, making your knees weak and your heart race. His hands were everywhere, pulling at your clothes, touching every inch of your skin.

"What do I have to do to make you mine and only mine?" He asked, his voice thick and raspy, his fingers gripping your hips and digging in.

You whimpered, trying to catch your breath. He was usually so reserved, so gentle and controlled. This was something else, this was him letting go, and it was overwhelming.

"Lijah-," You moaned, trying to form a coherent thought. "I need some air," You said, pushing him away.

He reluctantly let you go, watching you walk away with pain in his eyes.

You slipped through the crowd and towards the bar, ordering a drink and trying to compose yourself. You could still feel his body heat, his touch on your skin.

"Hey dollface," A voice came from behind you. It was a guy you'd met the night before. Flashes of the fancy kitchen returned to your mind, but you really didn't want to repeat what you'd done last night.

"Hey," You said, smiling politely. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah, me neither," He laughed. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Thanks," You replied, finishing the one in your hand. "I'll have a whiskey,"

"Be right back," He winked, disappearing towards the bartender.

You waited for a few minutes before he came back with two glasses of whiskey.

"What are you doing tonight?” He said, giving you a flirty smile.

You gave him a coy smile, sipping your drink.

"Oh, I don't know. Whatever you're into," You said, watching his expression change.

You loved this, the chase, the anticipation of knowing what would happen next. It wasn't even necessarily about the sex, it was about being wanted. You loved to be touched, to be desired, to be looked at with awe and lust. It was easy for you, just a game that you liked to play, a way to make you feel special.

But Elijah was still on your mind, eating away at any enjoyment you should be getting out of this encounter. So you drank, more than you usually did, hoping the alcohol would help numb the feelings you had for him.

Unfortunately, it only made everything worse.

You didn't care about this guy, nor did you want to sleep with him again, you were just enjoying the attention. You needed to forget Elijah and focus on something else, anything.

The rest of the night became a blur, a messy, meaningless haze of alcohol and sounds and hands on your skin. You lost track of time, you stopped caring and you found yourself outside the club, being pulled towards his car, giggling and hiccupping the whole time.

"Come on, sugar, it'll be fun," He slurred, wrapping an arm around you. "Let's have another round at my place," He was trying to pull you into the backseat, and you were too drunk and dizzy to put up a fight.

"I don't know," you mumbled, trying to focus on his face but having a hard time keeping him in your line of vision. He flashed you a dopey smile, leaning in and giving you a sloppy kiss.

"My friieennds will be worried," you protested, trying to get him off you. He wasn't really listening, his attention focusing on groping your ass. You tried to get him to let go of you, pushing on his chest, but he didn't budge.

"I'm sory-" you slurred, "tis was bad idea,"

"Why?" He asked, confusion etched across his face.

"I'm farrrrr to drunk," you said, the words coming out slowly, "I shouldna had that fifth drink,"

"You're very cute when you're drunk," he chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Shtop," you slurred, struggling to get out of his grasp.

You saw Elijah leaving the club with Klaus and tried to push the man off.

"My frriiieends areleaving,"

"Come on, they'll understand," he replied, tightening his grip on you.

You started to panic, the world was spinning, and you couldn't think straight. Elijah saw you and came over, the look on his face making it clear that he knew what was going on.

"Lijah-" you said, reaching for him.

The man backed off immediately when he saw Elijah, running his hand through his hair nervously.

"Are you okay?" Elijah asked, pulling you into his arms. You collapsed against his chest, breathing in his familiar scent.

"Too drunk," you slurred, your head lolling against his chest.

He picked you up bridal style, glaring at the man, who was shrinking into himself. He brought you to the car and sat you down in the back seat, he leaned over to fasten your seatbelt and you looked up at him, trying to focus on his face.

"I'm sorry, he jus-just wouldn't stop." You said, your words coming out slowly.

Elijah's demeanor completely changed when he saw how drunk you were. He could smell the alcohol on your breath, see the fog in your eyes.

"Klaus, watch her. I'll be right back," he said, before disappearing.

You tilted your head back, the whole car felt like it was spinning. Klaus was saying something you couldn't quite make out, the words muffled.

You sat in silence for a few minutes, until Elijah came back and got in the car. He had a grim look on his face and there was blood on his shirt.

"Lij-lijah," You whispered, reaching out for him as he sat next to you. "Please tell me you didn't killed him,"

Elijah didn't say a word, just wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close. You leaned into his embrace, resting your head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," You mumbled, your words slurring together.

He smiled slightly, holding you tightly.

You began to drift off to sleep, feeling safe in his arms. He stroked your hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

Elijah was hurt that you ran away after his confession. He was the patient one, the one who always waited for you, always put you first. But he was tired of waiting. He couldn't pretend to not have feelings for you anymore, so he'd said something. Then you fled, too scared of commitment, too frightened of intimacy to stick around.

He'd hoped you would give him a chance, that you could learn to trust him and open your heart. But you had rejected him, again and again, and he was done waiting for you to change your mind.

When the car pulled up in front of the compound, you stumbled out, the alcohol making you unsteady on your feet. Your heels making it impossible to walk properly.

You took a tumble but Klaus caught you, wrapping an arm around your waist and helping you stay upright.

"I got her," Elijah said, his voice soft.

"I'm fiiiiinnnnneeee," You protested, trying to push them away, but you fell again and Elijah picked you up and carried you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and rested your head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

"Always such a gentleman," You giggled, your face buried in his neck.

"Sometimes," He said, amusement clear in his voice.

"You look very nice tonight," you added, tugging at his hair.

He brought you to your room and set you on the bed, pulling off your heels and helping you under the blankets.

"Lijah I'm cold, will you come keep me warm?" You pouted, batting your eyelashes at him.

Elijah let out a long sigh, and climbed into bed with you, his arms wrapped around your waist.

You cuddled up to him, enjoying the feeling of his strong arms around you. You couldn't deny the feelings you had for him, but you were determined to push them away. You didn't deserve him, he was far too good for you.

"I'm sorry, Lijah," You whispered, you placed your thigh around his hips, wrapping yourself around him. You wanted him closer, you wanted to feel his skin against yours, feel his heartbeat against your chest. "I want you," you breathed, pressing your lips to his.

He didn't respond, just pulled his head back and stared at you. His gaze was intense, and you found yourself unable to look away, you felt like your heart was being cracked open, exposed.

"No, you don't, you're just drunk," He whispered, his breath hot on your cheek. You were confused, conflicted by the emotions you were feeling, the sensations his closeness provoked.

"Let me show you," You whispered, grabbing the lapels of his jacket, trying to kiss him again, but he pulled back, breaking your hold.

You whimpered, frustrated, as he carefully unwound your arms, freeing himself.

"I can't keep doing this," He said, his voice pained, "it's not fair to either of us. I'm done being the second choice. I'm done being the one you run to when you have nowhere else to go."

"That's not true-" You said, tears welling up in your eyes. You felt like your heart was breaking, shattering into a million pieces, but you couldn't let him know, you couldn't show how much you were hurting.

"Isn't it?" He asked, his tone calm, but there was a fury in his eyes, "I love you, but this isn't working. I'm done wasting my time waiting for you to pick me. I'm just...I'm done,"

You felt like he'd punched you in the gut, your heart was pounding, your stomach twisting in knots. You tried to think of a reply, but you couldn't find any words. You laid there in silence, unable to speak.

He looked at you for a moment, then nodded to himself, as if he'd made up his mind. He got out of bed and left without a word.

Your mind raced as you processed what had just happened.

You were overwhelmed, your emotions a hurricane in your mind. Everything was a mess. You could feel your heart rate rising, your body starting to shake, your breathing coming in shallow bursts. You closed your eyes, trying to calm yourself down, trying to relax, but the panic wouldn't go away.

Then it started, you were shaking uncontrollably, tears pouring down your face, and you couldn't stop crying. You rolled onto your side and curled into a ball, gripping your legs as tightly as possible, the tears flowing freely as you let out a strangled sob.

You cried yourself to sleep, Elijah's name on your lips.

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache and a mouthful of sand. Your whole body ached, and the sunlight streaming through the windows made your head throb.

You dragged yourself from the shower, then to the kitchen, in search of coffee like it was a life line.

"Morning, sunshine," Rebekah chirped, way too cheerful for how shitty you felt.

You just grunted in response, pouring yourself a cup of coffee and adding a splash of whiskey. "Can you turn me so I don't have to feel like shit," You asked, leaning against the counter.

Rebekah snorted, sipping her coffee.

"That's a terrible reason to become a vampire," She replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, it would save me from hangovers," You shot back, and she shook her head, amused.

"So, how was your night?" You asked, and she smirked, her eyes glinting with mischief.

"It was fantastic," She replied, and you chuckled, taking a long drink of your coffee.

"I'm glad someone had a good time," You said, and she gave you a sympathetic look.

"I thought you and Elijah were hitting it off?" She asked, and you sighed, shaking your head.

"It's complicated," You replied, not wanting to go into detail.

"It's not," she replied, her tone matter-of-fact. "You are just making it so,"

You glared at her, irritated.

"Look, I'm not trying to pry, but I've seen the way you two look at each other. You are both just being stubborn," She continued, and you huffed, rolling your eyes.

"Whatever, I don't want to talk about it," You replied, trying to change the subject.

"Love can be messy," She said, and you laughed, shaking your head.

"Yeah, that's why I don't do it," You replied, and she gave you a look, her brow furrowed.

"You love Elijah, it's not a dirty word," She said, and you scoffed.

"I do not," You protested, and she sighed, exasperated.

"Love isn't something you can opt out of," She replied, her voice soft. "Trust me I've tried,"

You were silent, unable to think of a retort.

"You are just scared, that's all," She continued, and you looked away, not wanting to meet her gaze.

"There's nothing wrong with that, but it's also no reason to run away," She added, her voice gentle.

"I'm not running, I'm living my best life," You replied, a hint of bitterness in your voice.

She just stared at you, her expression one of pity.

"Yeah, well, maybe your best life needs some changes," She said, finishing her coffee and standing up. "I'll see you later,"

You slunk into a chair, nursing your coffee and trying to ignore the gnawing feeling in your stomach.

You didn't even try to deny her accusations, the words dying in your throat. Because she was right, you were scared.

You found Elijah in his room, sitting on the window seat, reading. He looked up when you entered, a small smile on his face.

"How are you feeling? He asked.

"Like shit," You mumbled, shuffling your feet.

"Understandable," He replied, looking back down at his book.

You fidgeted with the hem of your dress, unable to meet his gaze.

"So, last night..." You started, trailing off.

He glanced at you, a curious look on his face.

"I'm sorry," You continued, looking down at your feet.

He put his book down and stood up, walking over to you. He kept his distance, but there was a familiar look in his eyes.

"Did you really mean it? When you said you didn't want this?" You asked, gesturing between the two of you.

"What would you have me do?" He asked, his expression unreadable.

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You didn't know what to say, you didn't have the words to describe what you were feeling. So you did what you always did when things got tough, you shut down, closed yourself off and tried to run.

You turned away, ready to walk out, but Elijah grabbed your arm, stopping you. He pulled you close, his face inches from yours.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?" He asked, his voice soft.

You swallowed hard, your throat dry. You tried to think of something to say, something that would make him understand, but your mind was blank.

"Because... Because I'm scared," You said, your voice barely a whisper.

He lifted your chin up, his gaze searching yours.

"What are you afraid of?" He asked, and you let out a shaky breath.

"I'm afraid of losing you," You said, your voice breaking slightly. "I'm afraid that you'll break my heart,"

His eyes grew dark and he pushed you back against the wall. Your heart hammered in your chest, fear and desire surging through your body. His hands gripped your hips, his gaze hungry and dangerous. You saw his desire, his love, and for once, you didn't want to run from it.

You pushed against his chest, your breathing becoming shallow, but he didn't budge. He was firm, unyielding, just like his love for you.

 His hands traveled up your body, pushing up your dress. He pulled it over your head and tossed it aside, leaving you exposed and vulnerable before him. He looked down at you, drinking in the sight, and you felt a rush of heat in your core. His gaze was almost too much to bear, but you held it, refusing to back down. He pressed his lips to yours, the kiss hungry and rough, and you moaned against his lips.

"I can't share you anymore," he whispered, his voice strained with effort, his nose buried in your neck.

"You don't have to," you mumbled, gasping when he sank his fangs into your neck. You gripped his shoulders, holding on for dear life.

"Good," he growled, withdrawing his fangs. His tongue lapped at your neck, sending a wave of pleasure through you.

"Mine," he said, a possessive edge to his voice.

You trembled under his touch, his kiss growing even more heated. He pinned your wrists above your head with one hand, the other gripping your waist, his fingers digging into your skin. He lifted your thigh, wrapping it around his hips and pressing your back against the wall.

"I'm going keep you in my bed until you understand," he growled, and you moaned, unable to think straight.

He ripped your panties off, tossing them aside before sinking two fingers into you. You arched your back, grinding against his hand, desperate for relief. He pressed his thumb against your clit, rubbing it in slow circles as his fingers pumped into you.

He watched you, a small smirk on his face, enjoying the way you came undone beneath him. Something in him had snapped, and he could not longer hold back his need for you to be his. He tried many times to show you how much he loves you, but you always ran away at the first sign of intimacy. Not this time though, he was going to break down every wall you'd built and claim you.

You were getting closer to the edge, your breathing labored as your pleasure built. Just as you were on the verge, he removed his fingers from you, denying you relief. You cried out, trying to grind against him, but he held you still. He loved seeing you like this, desperate and begging for him.

"Now you know how I feel," he whispered, and you gasped, his words sending a shockwave through you.

He chuckled softly, his breath warm against your neck. He wrapped his arms around your waist and flipped you around, slamming you against the wall, making the painting beside you rattling in its place.

He pressed himself into your back, his hand circling your throat, the other wandering freely. He ran his finger along the clasp of your bra, freeing your breasts from the lacy material.

His fingers traced your nipples, teasing them into stiff peaks, his lips on your neck. You whimpered as he rolled his hips against you, the bulge in his pants rubbing against your ass.

"I'm going to mark every inch of your perfect skin," He purred, his voice thick with desire. "So everyone knows you are mine,"

He nipped at your neck, his fangs threatening to break the surface again. You moaned, grinding against him, desperate for more. He chuckled, sucking at the spot on your neck, leaving a dark hickey behind.

He pulled you away from the wall and pushed you onto the bed, forcing you onto all fours. His hands gripped your hips, and he leaned forward, licking a strip down the length of your spine. You shivered, your whole body alive and sensitive to his touch. He slid his tongue between your cheeks, stopping to suck and lick at your tight little hole, sending wave after wave of pleasure through you.

You tried to sit up but he pushed you back down, his tongue spearing into your rear entrance. You moaned, squirming under him, your face flushed with desire. He inserted a finger into your pussy, and began to slowly fuck you.

It didn't take long for your thighs to start shaking, your muscles tensing as your orgasm approached. You bit your lip, trying to hold back, but it was futile. You let go with a low moan and suddenly yelped as he sunk his fangs into your ass cheek.

"Lijah!" You exclaimed, surprised.

This rough, wild side of him, so completely different from the gentle, refined man you knew, it scared and excited you. The way took control was the most erotic thing you've experienced in a long time.

He flipped you over and pressed you down onto the bed, straddling you. His pupils were blown wide, his lips stained red with blood, his breathing heavy. You tried to reach up and touch him, but he pinned your wrists down. You lay there, unable to move, completely at his mercy. You had never felt so safe and loved in your entire life.

He freed your wrists kissed them gently, a soothing gesture that contrasted with the roughness from earlier. His lips trailed down your arms, kissing, sucking, and nipping at your skin. You shuddered as his breath ghosted against your neck.

You tugged at his shirt, and he let you strip him of it, his bare skin warm and firm against your own. You ran your hands over his chest, relishing the feel of him.

He pulled off his pants, laying down beside you, your naked bodies intertwining. You stared up at him, a soft smile on your lips. He returned it, his gaze unguarded and gentle. He captured your lips in a sweet kiss, his hands stroking your face and hair.

"I'm sorry for being a fool," you said softly, your eyes glassy with tears.

"Shhh," he murmured, nuzzling your neck. "You have nothing to be sorry for,"

"I do," you insisted. "I love you, I've always loved you. I was just...I was just scared to admit it, to myself or anyone else."

You looked up at him, your expression vulnerable, your eyes pleading. He smiled softly and brushed his lips against yours, a gentle kiss, almost a question.

"Be mine, only mine," he whispered, his forehead resting against yours.

"Yes," you breathed, your heart hammering in your chest. "Always."

He parted your legs and slowly eased inside of you, a growl rumbling deep in his chest. He began moving his hips in a rhythmic motion, his fingers gripping the sheets.

You looked into his eyes, feeling whole. He was giving you such pleasure, and his love radiated from him, engulfing you. Everything behind his eyes, the trust and tenderness, the pain and loneliness, you saw all of it.

It made you feel like you were part of his inner world. He was baring his soul to you, letting you in and you were doing the same, letting him see beyond all of the walls and boundaries, right into the depths of your heart and spirit.

And the intensity of it all wasn't scary, it felt liberating, it felt right. His body was just a shell for his fire, for the overwhelming love he felt for you. You both weren't physical beings anymore, but something beyond. Like you are one entity, one flame, burning bright.

You couldn't really describe how you felt, but there was this sense of completion, like you've found something that had been missing all this time. You could see it in his eyes too, a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he looked lighter somehow.

You two were making love, and you were both acutely aware of it. There was no mistaking this for anything less, even if you tried. Time seemed to stand still and the outside world fell away, leaving only the two of you. No past or future, just the present.

You didn't need to talk, there was no need for words. You could feel his thoughts, and you could feel him understand yours, the two of you harmonizing and flowing with each other in an endless, gentle rhythm.

This was what he wanted all this time, to show you what sex can really mean when it is shared between two souls, two hearts. Not just animalistic fucking, but pure love-making, a deeper level of intimacy. And you understood now, you were becoming one.

You didn't know how long you had been making love, it could have been hours, or maybe it was days. All you knew was that it was the best experience of your life.

He was being serious when he said he was going to keep you in his bed until you understood. And now you do, now you understand what it means to be loved by him. What it is like to be part of him, to share that connection, that bond.

Your bodies were covered with sweat, entangled as one, both of you out of breath. Every muscle was sore but you didn't care. You were drunk off his love.

"Can we stay like this forever?" You asked, your eyes half closed, exhaustion setting in.

"Yes," He whispered, caressing your cheek. "Because you are mine, all mine,"

"Yours," you said sleepily, snuggling into him.

This was just one night together, a small taste of what being with him was going to be like, and you knew you would never be the same again. He had destroyed your walls and torn down every boundary you had built around yourself.

He held your bleeding heart in his hands, and instead of crushing it, he gave you his own.

{Moodboard->}

♡♡ Tag-List ♡♡

♡ @gorgeouslydangerous ♡ @starkleila ♡ @lydia1369sworld ♡ @notleylaaa ♡ @vampiresluv ♡ @vamprium ♡ @myanmy ♡ @xflowerbombxo ♡ @maryvibess ♡ @always-and-forever-daydreaming ♡ @criminallminds ♡ @theesexystallion ♡ @rosemarypotion ♡ @spnaquakindgdom ♡ @amournoir ♡ @loving-and-dreaming ♡ @meeom ♡ @damienmorton ♡

[blegh-110]

Omg also just imagine flightless bird Tan taking care of Y/n when she gets sick for the first time when living with him-

He’d be so soft taking care of her (and that’d definitely be another scenario where Y/n would be weak and want snuggles from him)

omg yesss!!!

you wake up and feel that small tickle in the back of your throat which get worse throughout the day. this make your progressively more grumpy as the day goes on, but you dont voice a word of this to tangerine. you didnt want to bother him because its just a sore throat, nothing but some water cant fix. but you were very wrong.

you wake up the next day feeling like a corpse. your throat is so much worse, your nose is all clogged up and runny, your body aches, and you just want to turn over and go right back to sleep. but its the clogged up nose that starts making you tear up in frustration. there is no way you are going back to sleep when you can hardly breathe. you sit up with a groan, your limbs cracking and your throat hurting after some bad coughing.

you get up from your bed with your blanket around your shoulders and trailing behind you, slowly making your way towards tangerines office. hes always up and dressed for the day by the time you wake up, usually in his office. but when you take a peak inside, hes not there.

then you walk to the room where he sleeps. not there either.

okay, maybe hes in the kitchen or in the living room, you think trying not to panic. but then you stop in your tracks, suddenly remembering that tangerine told you last night that he would be leaving early in the morning for work and would be back around five.

at the time when he told you this, you were happy to be away from him for basically the entire day. but now... theres nothing you want more than for his strong arms to be around you and his sweet whispers. also some medicine.

a sob escapes your mouth when you realize how alone you are. an achy feeling forms in your chest, but not from your sickness, from the fact that tangerine is somewhere very far you assume, and not here to take away your pain.

you dont even go downstairs to try and look for some cold medicine, the thought of the action exhausts you. so you make your way back to where tangerine sleeps and lay in his bed, you go in there because it was the closest room with a bed you think. and not because the smell of him is comforting as you bury yourself into the sheets he sleeps in.

it takes some time, but you fall asleep, wishing that wherever tangerine is and whatever he is doing, that he'll be done soon and come back to you.

~

tangerine sighs heavily as he walks into his home and stares at his watch. six o'clock. a little later than he said he would be back, but hes just happy to be home with you.

after checking all of the rooms downstairs with no sign of you, he begins going upstairs.

"love!" he calls out, beginning to worry that youve managed to escape when he doesnt here you.

tangerine checks your room first, only to find nothing and the panic is rising up. he starts to check every room, aggressively shoving the doors open and checking bathroom and closets and any spot where you may be hiding. just when he comes out of one room, he sees you from his door with a sleepy, confused expression and messy hair.

you look so fucking adorable he thinks as he lets out a sigh of relief and makes his way towards you. but as he gets closer, he sees your glossy, red eyes and lips quivering.

"tangerine." you whisper, your sore throat not letting your voice go any higher, and fall into his arms when they wrap around you. he hears your sniffling and small hiccups, hes heard you cry before, but this sounds completely different.

"whats wrong? look at me." he gently lifts your chin up to get a better look of your face, and he realizes that youre sick just from that tired look in your eyes.

"dont feel good, feel gross and-and-" you dont finish, it hurts to talk.

"oh, love. when did you start feeling this way, huh?" tangerine gently says into your hair as he starts walking you back into his room. thats when he sees his bed which obviously looks like someone has slept in. although he hates to hear your stuffy nose and crying, he cant push away the feeling of happiness of you sleeping in his bed. but then hes suddenly feeling very sad again at the thought of you being miserable all day, alone.

"this morning, woke up feeling yucky" you say, then shrink down when you see tangerines eyes widen and his body stiffen.

"why didnt you tell me? you couldve called me and i wouldve been here as soon as possible."

"i'm sorry," you cry into your hands, feeling like a small child being scolded, "didnt know i could."

tangerine sighs and shakes his head, feeling very emotional about you being sick all day and not being there for you.

"no, dont apologize. im the one thats sorry." then hes taking you in his arms and sitting on the bed with you in his lap,

"i didnt mean to get mad, just sad that i wasnt here for you when i shouldve been. and i shouldve told you that you can call me anytime when im working, i never told you that did i?" you shake your head against his chest with a sniffle and silent tears still running down your face.

"oh, im sorry, (y/n)." he says again, kissing the top of your head and holding you against him just a little but tighter. you calm down after a few minutes, but the silence is ruined when you sneeze, and tangerine is reminded that you are sick. too caught up with you on his lap laying against him.

"lets get you some medicine and food."

after having to coax you to drink some of the "yucky tasting" medicine, tangerine heats up some chicken noodle soup and feeds it to you.

"ate it all, good job, darling." making you smile gently.

you take a hot shower after, making you feel even more better when the steam unclogs your nose and relaxes your aching muscles.

after putting on some pajamas, you walk to tangerines room where he sees you shyly standing at his door.

"can i, um, sleep with you tonight, please?" you ask softly while tugging at your long sleeve.

"c'mere" is all tangerine says and lifts up the blanket for you. you make your way over to him and jump into his bed right into his arms where you quickly fall asleep when his fingers gently scratch your back.

[graciegoeskrazy]

Neeeeeeed more of Marty’s daughter and George! Was thinking of their bond/dynamic when George was taking care of her while Matty was sick plssss

is there somebody that can watch you?

george daniel + niece!healy!reader

warnings: fluffffff, being sick, i think that’s all????

a/n: Hi! i like this one it’s adorbs. ty anon!!!

You never heard the quiet footsteps coming into your room. It wasnt until the slight sinking of your bed and the gentle hand on your shoulder that you finally woke up.

When you opened your eyes you were greeted with George.

“George?”

“Hi, Bubs.”

“Daddy is sick. He doesn’t feel well, so you’re gonna spend some time with me. Okay?”

“Is he gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. He just needs some rest.”

George got a text from your father less than an hour ago. It was only 7 in the morning at the moment.

‘Just woke up. I feel like shit.’

‘Alright?’

‘I need you to take care of baby girl for the day. I don’t want to get her sick.’

‘You know you don’t need to lie to get me to hang out with your kid. She’s more fun to hang out with.’

‘I’m not lying. I’m sick.’

‘Mhm…’

‘Mate I have a 102.2 degree fever.’

‘Ew stay away from me.’

‘Christ can you just come and pick up my kid?’

‘Hehe yeah i’m on my way.’

Next thing you know, George was in front of you waking you up, packing up a couple changes of clothes because it was very likely you would be with him for a couple days, and picking you up and heading out the door.

Matty was lying on the couch in his robe and an array of blankets drinking a cup of tea. You and George walked into the room and headed to the front door. George was carrying you with one arm and your mini suitcase with the other. You noticed your father called for him.

“Daddy?”

“Hi, darling.”

He looked like shit. He could tell by the look on your face that you were worried about him and it made his heart swell. That and the fact that you were still half asleep was a recipe for absolute adorableness

When George walked into his flat you were fast asleep in his arms with you head lying on his shoulder. Charli walked out from the bedroom when she heard the door open in close, and smiled at the adorable sight in front of her.

“Look at my little baby!” She whispered.

“Poor girl is passed out.”

She smiled and kissed her fiance. “Any plans for the day?”

“Yeah. hanging out with little Healy.”

…

Cut to a few hours later, Charli and you were sitting in the living room floor coloring notebook pages on either side of the coffee table. George came in with drinks for the wo of you and sat down next to Charli.

“Whatcha drawing babe?” He asked you.

“Princess.” You said.

“That’s a beautiful princess.”

“Do you like it?” You held the picture up to Charli.

She smiled. “I do. I love her dress.”

“Me too. I want to get married in it.” You said, continuing to color.

“No boys till you’re 30,” George said.

“That’s okay. Boys are gross.”

“What?! I’m a boy, does that mean I’m gross?”

“Yeah. You messy.” The couple let out a laugh.

“Hey!” George said.

Charli readjusted. “Boys can be fun! You can go on dates with them and hang out together and marry them.”

“Yeah. When I get married I want a pretty, silver ring and a big, white, puffy dress. Like Cinderella.”

George eyed Charli. They had just gotten engaged a little less than 2 weeks ago and hadn’t yet told you the news. “You know…I know someone who’s gonna get married.”

“Who?” You asked not looking up from your work.

“Auntie Charli.”

Your head shot up which caused the couple to laugh a little but. “You?” You asked. Your jaw was hund wide open. Charli nodded. “With Bubba?” You asked, pointing.

“Yep!” She said.

You ran around the table and hugged her tight. She did the same.

“Isn’t that exciting?!” She asked with a smile.

“You’re gonna look like a princess.” You said while pulling away. George just watched with a smile.

“I know! And you and your daddy get to come and we’ll get you your very own dress to wear so you and I can be princesses together.”

You smiled wide and big.

[woooyeahbaby]

diluc x gn!spouse!reader

domestic fluff w diluc :)

warnings: as i said, just domestic fluff. asking if diluc ate. reader sits in diluc’s lap, but it isn’t supposed to be sexual. not really anything else that i can think of that would need a warning?

word count: 447 words

walking into yours and diluc’s home after you were out, either on your own or together, is always lovely. being greeted by the maids, sometimes even kaeya, but that’s rare. it feels so warm.

even if you’re just waking up, you get the same voices telling you hello every day. the only thing missing was diluc’s warm body next to you in bed.

“good morning mr./mrs. ragnvindr!” adelinde greets you sweetly as you walk out of your bedroom, still not properly dressed. just your pyjamas and messy hair, making your way to diluc’s study to see if that’s where he’d gone.

“morning, adelinde.” you groggily say, giving a small smile before opening the door to the room you’d been going to.

and there he was. bright red hair flowing over his shoulders that had been covered in a white dress shirt, his lower half dressed in black pants and surprisingly, no shoes or socks. the sunlight shining through the curtains onto his beautiful frame was a heavenly sight.

you just stand in the doorway for a moment, staring at your husband. how did you get so lucky, you think. you watch as his hand guides his quill pen over the papers he’d been signing since he woke up, occasionally stopping to dip the end in ink.

eventually, he turned his head to look at you, and you felt embarrassed.

“do you need something?” diluc questions, his tone soft so his words didn’t sound annoyed.

“no, was just wondering where you were.” you answer. “have you eaten?”

“yes, adelinde made some wonderful pancakes. i’m sure there’s some left, if you’d like.” he offers, smiling slightly at what you’d told him.

“okay!” you nod, then make your way towards him in his seat, stretching your arms out to hug him.

realizing what you’re doing, he scoots his chair back so you have room between him and the desk, allowing you to sit in his lap. you wrap your arms around him when you do so, inhaling his scent. he smells amazing.. he must have showered when he got up. suddenly you feel bad for not doing that yet.

“haha, sorry, ‘m kinda gross right now.” you half-jokingly apologize, diluc’s low chuckle sending vibrations through you.

“you’re alright. i’m just glad you’re here.” he grins, kissing you softly with one hand holding the side of your neck and the other on the small of your back.

you two stay like this for a little while, but eventually you need to fix yourself up and he has more work to do. you depart with a few kisses and ‘i love you’s.

it’s moments like that you love the most.

[ivankahasbeentreatedsounfairly]

The New York Times

By Catie Edmondson and Andrew Duehren

Something unusual happened this week after President-elect Donald J. Trump ordered House Republicans to back legislation raising the debt limit: Dozens refused.

It was a rare breach by a group of Republicans who have traditionally backed Mr. Trump’s policy preferences unquestioningly and taken pains to avoid defying him.

And it laid bare a disconnect between Mr. Trump and his party that could upend their efforts next year to pass transformative tax and domestic policy legislation with the tiniest of majorities. Even as Mr. Trump has displayed a laissez-faire attitude to the federal debt and a willingness to spend freely, a number of lawmakers in his party fervently adhere to an anti-spending philosophy that regards debt as disastrous.

In this week’s spending bill fight, Mr. Trump was intent on trying to absolve himself of responsibility for dealing with the debt ceiling, which is expected to be reached sometime in January. Raising it while President Biden was still in office and Democrats still held the Senate, he apparently believed, could avoid a messy internal Republican fight over the issue next year when Mr. Trump is in the White House and his party in full control of Congress.

Instead, he only accelerated that clash, which unfolded on the House floor on Thursday night when 38 Republicans refused to suspend the borrowing limit without spending cuts.

They tanked a spending plan that would have deferred the debt cap for two years, and by Friday, when Speaker Mike Johnson advanced a third proposal to avert a shutdown to the House floor, they had jettisoned the debt limit measure entirely, promising instead to deal with it next year.

That version passed the House on Friday evening with bipartisan support, before the Senate followed suit early Saturday and sent it to Mr. Biden for his expected signature. The only lawmakers voting to oppose it in the House — all 34 of them — were Republicans.

“To take this bill, to take this bill yesterday, and congratulate yourself because it’s shorter in pages, but increases the debt by $5 trillion, is asinine,” Representative Chip Roy of Texas said on Thursday night in a scathing speech deriding the legislation carrying the debt limit increase. “I’m absolutely sickened by a party that campaigns on fiscal responsibility and has the temerity to go forward to the American people and say you think this is fiscally responsible.”

Mr. Trump has never taken up the traditional spending hawk talking points that have long defined the Republican Party and became the dogma of the Tea Party wave of 2010. He has floated getting rid of the debt limit altogether — a stance embraced more by progressive Democrats than members of his own party — and once proudly declared himself “the king of debt.” He told “CBS This Morning” that he had “made a fortune by using debt, and if things don’t work out I renegotiate the debt.”

During his first administration, Mr. Trump approved $8.8 trillion of gross new borrowing and $443 billion of deficit reduction, according to the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget. He saw a political upside to free-spending policies, including sending out stimulus checks stamped with his signature. And he pledged never to touch Social Security, breaking with G.O.P. fiscal hawks who have long called for overhauling the program to rein in its unsustainable costs.

On the campaign trail this past cycle, he floated a flurry of far-reaching policies with potentially hefty price tags, including exempting certain forms of pay from taxes.

But even as the Republican Party has evolved to absorb Mr. Trump’s views, a critical mass of lawmakers in his party — particularly hard-liners in the House — say that the No. 1 reason they ran for Congress was to tackle the problem of the nation’s ballooning debt. They have pledged not to vote for anything that would increase spending or the country’s borrowing limit without commensurate cuts.

Some Republicans fell in line on Thursday night and swallowed their objections to raising the debt limit. Representative Lauren Boebert of Colorado said she largely favored the bill in support of Mr. Trump.

“I did not want to see a failure on the House floor for the first demand that President Trump was making,” she said.

But House Republicans’ tiny majority in both this Congress and the next means that even a small bloc of virulently anti-debt conservatives can sink critical legislation.

A New York Times analysis of votes on spending bills since 2011 found that hard-right lawmakers associated with the Freedom Caucus have voted in favor of government funding bills less than 20 percent of the time. A smaller group of ultraconservative members has almost always voted against appropriations bills — in an average of 93 percent of cases.

It was that group of lawmakers that revolted against Mr. Trump's call this week to raise the debt limit without any cuts in exchange.

Representative Josh Brecheen of Oklahoma, who once held four town halls with constituents across his sprawling district in one day to��talk about the national debt, said that when he cast his vote against the legislation, he was thinking about “all Oklahoma families, farmers and ranchers who lost approximately 20 percent of their purchasing power since 2020 because of Congress’s continual deficit spending.”

Others said there were limits to Mr. Trump’s clout on the issue.

“President Trump has a lot of sway with Republicans, obviously,” said Representative Bob Good of Virginia, who is leaving Congress at the end of the year after losing a primary to a Trump-backed challenger. “Things that he says, I’m sure, have influence on individuals. But the House needs to operate as the House. I think it would have been a terrible decision to raise the debt limit without really meaningful spending cuts and structured fiscal reform.”

Representative Eric Burlison of Missouri said even his affection for the president-elect could not sway him to break a promise to his constituents.

“When I ran for office, I said I would not vote to raise the debt ceiling,” he told CNN. “I’ve never voted to raise the debt ceiling. I love Donald Trump, but he didn’t vote me into office; my district did.”

In an attempt to appease both those lawmakers and Mr. Trump — and to try to win the support to pass a stopgap spending bill — House Republican leaders on Friday floated a pledge to cut spending and raise the debt limit in separate legislation next year. Republicans have been preparing to pass party-line legislation through a fast-track process called reconciliation — a procedure leaders said Friday could be used next year to address Mr. Trump’s demand to raise the debt limit.

That could introduce its own set of problems.

Roughly two-thirds of the money the federal government spends every year takes the form of “mandatory spending” — largely on Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid — that Congress does not need to approve every year. Mr. Trump has promised not to cut Social Security and Medicare, which pays for health care for older Americans.

That leaves Medicaid, a health care program for low-income people that makes up about 10 percent of the federal budget. Republicans have already been discussing ways to make cuts to the program, including requiring people to prove they work to receive coverage.

That promise will join cutting taxes, cracking down on immigration and allowing for more oil drilling on the G.O.P. agenda for next year. Republicans in the House and Senate have been at odds over how to tackle those priorities, with some senators pushing for multiple bills and House members demanding one huge effort.

This week’s ugly infighting showed that even one such vote could be an exceedingly heavy lift.

Already right-wing lawmakers in the Freedom Caucus are insisting that any costs incurred by extending the tax cuts Mr. Trump signed into law in 2017 will need to be offset by additional spending cuts to win their support.

Those types of reductions could run into a buzz saw among more mainstream Republicans, particularly those in competitive races who will be loath to defend approving major cuts to programs their constituents use.

Balancing it all, Representative Jodey C. Arrington of Texas, the chairman of the Budget Committee, conceded on Friday, is only going to get more difficult when the Republican majority shrinks even further next year.

But, he said, Republicans had won “an imperative window for righting the ship. And that’s why the stakes are higher now.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/20/us/politics/gop-spending-hawks-trump-debt.html

[just-gonna-write]

this story is a multi-narrator piece between two lovers whose relationship is going south. i didn’t have the time to write enough introduction to their relationship or the slow descent i planned, so i intend to rewrite it eventually

Ivy

Today was awful. First, I spilled my iced coffee all over myself when I was already

running late for work, and had to shower and change all over again. Then, my hair got all messed up from the wind on my walk to work, which made me look horrifically unprofessional at a big meeting where I was meant to represent my boss. Needless to say, she was very unhappy. And so was I.

The tension knotting my shoulders together was uncomfortable, aching and creaking every time I moved. I just wanted to plop down on the couch with Lonnie and forget this entire day happened. I opened the front door, the rusted knob feeling cool in my palm. The door was old, with little chunks of wood having been stripped away over the years. It complemented the patchy, fading paint of the hallway.

When the door opened I was expecting to be met with the warm, yellow light of the kitchen, and maybe the smell of dinner beginning to be cooked. Most nights dinner was my responsibility, but I’d told Lonnie I was running late and asked her to start without me.

Instead, I was met with a silent, dark apartment that decidedly lacked the smell of dinner being cooked.

“Lonnie?” I called out as I closed the door behind me. My own voice surprised me. Weak, quiet, a little scratchy. Now that I thought about it, my throat had been feeling a little sore today. Maybe I was coming down with something. “Avalon?”

Silence.

I sighed, putting my head in my hands. Tears welled up in my eyes, hot and salty and unstoppable. I couldn’t prevent them from slipping through my pale fingers, making my hands feel all gross and wet.

I didn’t know why I was crying honestly, nothing was making me want to cry. Maybe it was the fact that I was clearly alone. Maybe it was from relief that I could get my stress out in private. Maybe it was because I missed my girlfriend. She was still asleep when I left this morning, and she was gone when I came home.

I plopped down on the soft, plush couch that we’d had since the beginning of our relationship. Lonnie took me on a dumpster diving date, it was the first adventure I’d ever been on in my life. It was so thrilling, and eventually afterward, while we were covered in smelly garbage, we stumbled across this couch on the street.

It was perfect. Not broken at all, which shocked me, only a little dirty. It was a nice warm orange color, the kind that reminded you of rust and sunshine and a cozy campfire. The kind that reminded me of Lonnie. We took it home that day and I’d been in love with it ever since.

When I remembered the present and looked around the apartment my heart dropped. Clothes strewn everywhere, piles and piles of dishes in the sink, trash from Lonnie’s Taco Bell lunch still on the counter, everything that could be messy was messy. Before I could do anything to stop them, even more tears leaked from my eyes. She didn’t even bother to clean up after herself.

The mess made my heart race and pound and shake. I couldn’t just leave it there, that would be disgusting. It was a tripping hazard and would definitely attract bugs, and we did not need roaches in this already awful apartment. If I can’t get hot water every day, I at least need a lack of bugs.

I dragged myself up, ignoring the ache in my thighs and shoulders. My heels were boring into my skin and everything felt wrong. Everything hurt. Everything was awful. The sound of the AC whirring made me want to rip my ears off. I threw off my black high heels and got to work.

If my body hadn’t ached so much maybe it would’ve been relaxing. However, I was in the worst mood imaginable and hunger was making my body hurt. While I did the dishes I mulled over the idea of cooking dinner, like I did every night.

But no.

If I had to clean up this whole apartment after the excruciating day I had, I deserved a treat. I was going to Doordash something for once in my life and not regret it. I didn’t care how greasy and expensive it was, I deserved this.

That’s what I told myself when I shut off the lights in my bedroom, finally preparing to plop on the bed and pass out after the day I’d had. I was full of McDonald’s fries and chicken nuggets and this was the first moment of contentment I’d had all day.

I didn’t even pay any mind to the fact that it was now 10:15pm and Lonnie was nowhere to be found. I just stretched out and enjoyed the extra space in the bed.

Avalon

The sun was so bright it burned my eyes. When I blinked I could see odd splotches of

purple in the darkness of my closed eyes, and I let a big, toothy grin stretch across my face. This day was perfect.

The girl across from me, an old friend I’d known since we were little, smiled too. It was radiant, vibrant as the sun that gleamed on our faces. I knew my girlfriend never had liked her all that much, she was weird about old friends. Especially weird about old friends who happened to be pretty girls I’d dated in high school.

But for right now Ivy didn’t matter, only the beautiful blondie in front of me. She held a martini glass and gave me a sly smile as she wrapped her ruby red lips around the edge.

“Does your girlfriend know you’re here?” She asked with a lilted, playful tone. There was a smile in her voice and a laugh on her face. That must’ve always been the most attractive thing about her when we were together, she always had this sense of joy in life, no matter what. She was never bogged down by worries, insecurities or jealousy.

She and Ivy were very, very different. Which is exactly why I asked her to help me unwind on my day off. We chose a fun lunch spot with outdoor seating, the kind of restaurant that had colorful umbrellas on the tables despite being nowhere near the beach. A light breeze ran through my hair and over my skin, giving me relief from the hot sun. The taste of overly sweet fruit lingered on my tongue even when I wasn’t sipping my colorful drink, something with a pun for a name that I’d already forgotten. Today was bliss.

“Don’t be silly Liv, you know Ivy would never let me leave the house if she knew I was with you.” I laughed, a deep belly laugh that rumbled throughout my entire body.

“I suppose that makes sense. Why is she so jealous, anyway?” Liv asked. An image of Ivy freaking out over nothing flashed in my brain and involuntarily I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t know, but it’s so annoying. She’s just so insecure and I guess I get it because she was bullied and stuff as a kid but like, why does that matter now? We’re adults, it’s time to move on, you know? It’s not my fault some girls were kinda mean to her when she was like seven, so I don’t know why she takes it out on me.” I said in a huff. Liv rolled her big blue eyes and a small smile quirked my lip upward.

As much as I loved Ivy, she could never be as pretty as Liv. It was like comparing a weird little crusty white dog with a beautiful dove.

Don’t get me wrong, Ivy was really pretty in her own right. She had ginger hair that was cropped in a precise bob, trimmed perfectly every week so it wouldn’t grow out. She was just as meticulous with her straight-across bangs, they never grew long enough to hide her dark green eyes. She really was pretty, but she didn’t know how to dress to accentuate her features and make her stunning. Her baggy hoodies swallowed her form and the leggings she wore everyday did nothing for her either.

Liv, on the other hand, was absolutely gorgeous. I’d never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. Her long hair was bleached blonde, evidenced by the half-inch of brown roots sprouting from the top of her head. Somehow, that added to her charm. She almost always painted her plump lips cherry red, tempting as a siren’s song. She always wore colors that fit in a cohesive palette of pinks, lavender, teal, and red. Those were her best colors, which she’d learned from a color analyst. She was perfectly put together in every way imaginable. Every time I saw her my heart swelled and skipped a beat.

I hadn’t experienced that with Ivy in months.

But I liked Ivy. She was sweet, she always cheered me up when I needed someone and surprised me with new flowers whenever the old ones died. She made me dinner, she cleaned, she looked after me when my head pounded from my own poor decisions that I always seemed to make. She was a nice girl. It wouldn’t have killed her to dress up for me every once in a while, but she was nice.

“Why are you still with her?” Liv’s blunt voice grabbed my attention and snapped me out of my daydreams.

“What?” I asked.

“Why are you with Ivy? She seems like such a drag and honestly you could do a lot better. I mean-” Her voice was cut off by the sound of my ringtone. I glanced at my cracked old phone screen and saw a picture of Ivy staring back at me. It was from our first date. She had chocolate ice cream smeared on her lips and her grin was the biggest I’d ever seen.

“Who is it?” Liv asked, inquisitive blue eyes trying to peer down at my phone.

“It’s Ivy. I should take this.” I said quietly, huffing out a sigh. What could she possibly want? Liv sighed too, rolling her eyes.

“Hello? Lonnie-?”

“Avalon.”

“Oh hey baby! I’m sorry to interrupt but where are you? I thought we were going out

today.” Ivy’s voice crackled through the phone.

“I’m out with a friend.” I said quietly, decisively. I wanted nothing more than to get out

of this stupid call and just enjoy my lunch with Liv.

“What? But we were planning on going out to that new restaurant that just opened,

Yolonda’s? You never have days off, I was really excited to do this with you Lonnie.”

“Don’t call me Lonnie, you know I hate that nickname. And I’m actually at Yolanda's right now with Liv.” I rolled my eyes yet again as I spoke. I did that a lot with Ivy.

“You are?” She sounded like a kicked puppy. Some part of me felt bad, but another part, deep inside of me, smiled to itself. Some part of me wanted to hurt her more. Maybe it was resentment. Maybe it was bitterness. I wasn’t a bad person, but that part of me wanted to be one in that moment.

“Yeah, so I’ll see you at home okay?” I asked, pulling my phone away from my ear before I heard her frenzied voice.

“Wait! I’m confused, you knew we had a date planned and you went to that same place with your ex instead?” She asked. I heard a sniffle. Months ago, my heart would’ve hurt for her, I would’ve felt that ache in my chest that told me I did something wrong and needed to fix it.

I didn’t feel that ache. Instead, I turned on speaker phone.

“It’s not a big deal. Liv is a friend, it’s not like I’m cheating on you.” I scoffed.

“Yeah, Ivy, I promise we’re not doing anything weird. Just having lunch! It’s really good,

you really should try this place out!” Liv giggled into the phone. Her features, beautiful as they were the day I first saw her, were twisted into a playful smirk. Before Ivy could get another word in I hung up the phone.

“Girlfriends, am I right?” I laughed. After that we continued on with the conversation, flowing like the ocean’s gentle waves at the beach. In this moment, I didn’t like Ivy much. And in this moment, I didn’t care.

Ivy

Salt stung my eyes, like they were an open wound, bleeding and festering with an ugly

infection, as I stared at my phone screen. Now blurred by the tears, I couldn’t see the faces staring back at me, but I could feel them. Burning into my skin, slicing my heart open and leaving it for dead.

Why wasn’t I pretty? Or cool? Or successful or rich or-

I needed help, I needed something, anything. My hands were shaking so hard I dropped my phone. In my dizzy haze I couldn’t even register where it had gone.

Why, why, why?

Everyone I knew in high school had gotten engaged or married. Everyone I knew. And all they did was brag and brag on social media about how good they looked (and God did they look good), how successful they were, or how happy they were. Everything in their lives was perfect. Why? Why not me? Why did I deserve to be stuck in this dead end, in a relationship with someone who couldn’t even pick up their own dishes, let alone take me on a date? It had to be because I wasn’t pretty. I wasn’t worth attention, I wasn’t worth energy, I wasn’t worth love.

This wasn’t fair. Nothing was fair.

My chest hurt. My body hurt. I was stuck in a spiral, a whirlpool of hellish misery. This wasn’t fair. All I did was give and give, all for nothing. Where was my happy ending? Where was my prize?

All I could do was quiver pathetically, shake like a puppy abandoned in a rain-soaked box.

In my flurry of anxiety, I missed the sound of a key jangling, so I was only alerted to Avalon’s presence when I heard a voice ring out behind me.

“Ivy?”

My heart stopped. No, no, no, no, no. She couldn’t see me like this. She couldn’t see me being so pathetic or she’d leave me. I needed her. I wanted her. I loved her.

“Ivy? What’s wrong?” She asked. It was softer than normal.

“Go away.” I sobbed, burying my face in my knees, hugging my legs tight to my chest. “Seriously? I’m only trying to help.” Ivy scoffed. My heart sank.

“Wait no, I’m sorry I just-” I scrambled to get up and face her. I knew I looked a mess.

Disheveled. Tear-stained. Red-faced. Ugly.

“No, you know what? I’m not gonna help if you’re gonna be a baby about this. I’m really

busy today so come find me when you wanna be an adult. I’ll be on the computer in our room.” Ivy said. The tinge of coldness in her tone made me shiver.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. She couldn’t hear me.

I looked around. What was my life? Why was I here? In this dingy apartment, sitting on an old couch the color of rust that I had taken from a dumpster. A black hole of dreams and goals. Why did I stay?

Why did I want this?

All I wanted was for Avalon to hold me tight against her chest, safe and warm, feeling the muscles of her arms flex against my back. Her skin had always been so soft. I wrapped my own arms around myself, shielding my bare arms from the bite of cold. The AC was loud, blaring, and I could faintly hear typing in the other room.

Click-click-click.

I bent down, picking up my discarded phone in the depths of the couch. The screen was cool against my hand. When it lit up, I noticed a crack in the screen, one I hadn’t noticed before. It was thin, hairlike, splitting the image of me and Avalon apart.

Even my phone screen was falling apart.

Avalon

Three unread texts lit up my phone. All from Ivy, all hopelessly annoying. I couldn’t do

this anymore. I couldn’t handle the “where are you”s and “I thought we had plans” for another minute. That woman got on my nerves in the worst way possible. Finally, I snapped. I was done. I was going to a bar to clear my head.

It was a janky old dive bar, not the kind of place I would’ve gotten to go to if I had Ivy following me like the lost puppy she was. She never could handle any fun.

I was surprised she’d let me take her dumpster diving on the first date. It was out of character, looking back, for someone so prissy. Ever since she made a face every time I suggested what I wanted to do together.

Dive bar? Grimace. Getting a tattoo? Grimace. Punk concert at the bowling alley? Grimace. I couldn’t stand it anymore. Why did I choose to spend two years of my life with someone who wanted nothing more than to “fix” me?

What I needed was a good beer to take my mind off of everything. Well, what I needed was a woman who actually cared about me, but the beer was the closest thing I could get, so I would have to settle for that.

But strangely, the more I drank, the more that other desire grew. To be in the arms of a loving, kind woman. A woman full of light, not dull like my own girlfriend. A woman who made the heavens open with her laugh, who looked on at me with adoration instead of disgust. A woman who wasn’t so ridiculously needy.

Perhaps a blonde woman, with long hair and big doe eyes. Light colored, but I wasn’t close enough to see the exact color. Perhaps a woman whose makeup made her look sharp, angular, and alluring, with dark eyeliner framing those light eyes and red lips quirked up in a smirk. Perhaps a woman who preferred a black crop-top and tight leather pants, rather than a chunky sweater that was so big it only stayed on one shoulder. No ginger locks cropped into an uneven bob, cut with kitchen scissors at any little inconvenience. Not dark green eyes that looked brown if you were far away. Not a freckle to be seen, instead replaced with skin the color of honey, warm and inviting.

I found myself being carried across the bar. By my own feet, I realized. I practically floated to the blonde woman. When she fixed her gaze on me, my body felt as if it was on fire.

I hadn’t felt that in a long time.

“Avalon.” I introduced.

“Lily.” The name rolled off her tongue, smooth as her skin looked.

Soon enough, it was rolling off of mine too, and I discovered her skin was as soft as it

looked. Her hair was soft too, as were her lips. Everything about her was warm.

I knew she was gone when I woke up the next morning and the motel bed was cold.

My head was pounding, burning with the familiar sensation of alcohol’s revenge. When I

looked around, I saw nothing but messy white sheets and my own phone, wallet and ID on the desk. No trace of the woman anywhere. When she left, my dignity left with her. Now I was left in a motel bed with nothing but regret and a hangover.

And 14 missed calls, I learned when I picked up my phone from the desk

When I stumbled my way home, my thighs still sore and aching with memory of the night before, I wondered what I would tell Ivy. Perhaps I would say I ran into an old friend and

stayed the night. Perhaps I would say I ended up so drunk I passed out right outside of the bar. Perhaps I’d say I was visiting my parents.

The last one would probably get me in the least trouble.

However, when I told Ivy my selected excuse, the only thing in her eyes was rage. Burning, festering, ugly rage. When I began to ask why she looked so mad, she interrupted me.

“What is that on your neck?” She asked quietly. Despite how badly she seemed to want to scream, her voice was calm. Too calm. Dangerously calm.

“What do you mean?” I asked. I couldn’t let her see the fear in my eyes. She looked like a wolf hunting down a squirrel. I did not want to be her squirrel.

“That bruise. On your neck. How did you get that?”

My heart stopped.

“I...” I was lost for words, fumbling for something, anything to say.

“You what, Avalon? What exactly did you do? Don’t lie to me. You’ve always been so

honest, I’d really hate for you to break that streak now.” She spat. I shrunk backward.

I was, indeed, her squirrel. And soon my blood would paint these white walls red.

“I don’t know how-”

“Bull.” She spat. Her arsenic eyes lit up with menace. “What. Did. You. Do.”

“Look, Ivy, it was just a one night thing, I promise.” I whispered. One arm, gone. Ripped

off by the wolf. As my heart pumped and pumped, it felt like it was going to explode. It felt like there was a bomb beneath my skin, itching for its moment to trigger and tear the world apart piece by piece.

“Just a one night thing?! You cheat on me, and then you go and try to act like it’s okay because it was only one night?! Get out of my apartment! Get out!” She screamed. She took another step toward me. Fight or flight.

Before I knew it she was on the ground.

Tears welled up in her eyes, but not normal tears. These were tears of fire, blue fire, hot and ready to burn anyone who touched it.

“You don’t own the place Ivy, you can’t just kick me out!” I yelped.

“Need I remind you that it’s my name on the lease? That I bought basically everything in this stupid place? I can kick you out, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I don’t care if your stupid feelings are hurt because you know what? That’s all you’ve done to me for the past two years! And I was so blind, just sitting around and hoping that you’d change, saying I’m better off sad than alone, but that’s not true at all! You’re never going to change, all you’ll ever be is cruel. Get your stuff and go. I never wanna see you again.”

“Where am I supposed to go, huh?!” I demanded. She took a slow step towards me. “Go to visit your parents.” She spat.

“Ivy.”

“Go.”

When I was done collecting my belongings, tail between my legs. I glanced around. White walls with paint chipping. A kitchen light flickering, casting a warm hue on the walls. That old couch, the color of the rising sun. It looked dimmer now than ever.

And Ivy, arms crossed, glaring at me. I’d never seen her so upset. I caused that. I did this. I ruined my own life.

“Sorry.” I whispered as I opened the door to leave. No response.

What had I done?

[diorzs]

# KISS

pairing(s) — college!kusuo x gn!reader

genre(s) — fluff

cw. domestic fluff, soft saiki

masterlist. note : a small drabble, im currently in love w/ kusuo. also his powers don’t work on the reader in this !

small groans were heard from a particular pink-ette early in the morning. you were snuggled up on kusuo’s side, resting your head in the crook of his neck. your hands were wrapped tight around the psychic, trying to ensure the captivity of your personal heater. you looked up from ku’s neck, softly snickering when you saw him looking down at you.

“are you trying to kill me…?” he whispered, referring to the cage he had around his waist. you chuckled, and only responded by giving him a tight squeeze. he scoffed playfully at your ‘answer’, and turned away. “no…come back” you whined, and tried pulling him towards you, but to no avail. “fine.” you said dramatically, taking most of the blanket and turning your back to him.

he sighed, then you heard shuffling. “i love you.” he spoke, kissing your temple. you finally turned back to him, smiling fondly at the sight of him. his hair was messy, his glasses were off, and he was staring right back at you. but as you were admiring the psychic, he suddenly kissed you.

“ew kusuo! you haven’t brushed your teeth yet!” you exclaimed, turning away from him again. “you haven’t either, so i guess it cancels out, right?” he retorted back, before kissing you again. “either way it’s still gross!” you tried telling him, as he littered your face with kisses. “well then i guess i’m gross,” he chuckled, and as he said that, he noticed a faint blush arise on your cheeks.

“get away from me! i’m going to brush my teeth! and you should too!” you told him, running away into the master bedroom’s bathroom. “is that supposed to be an invitation?” he yelled, getting up from his bed and following you.

‘finally. i’ve convinced him to brush his teeth.’ you thought, looking at ku through the mirror where he was casually scrolling through his phone while simultaneously brushing his teeth. you stared at him for a little while longer, before spitting out the toothpaste, and cleaning your mouth. kusuo had stopped aswell, gargling mouthwash in his mouth before spitting it out. then he turned to you, smiling ever so slightly.

“can i get that kiss now?” he questioned you, cupping your cheeks while saying so. “maybe.” you whispered, before connecting your lips with his.

posted — 07 / 29 / 22

© diorzs all rights reserved 2022

[shiftylookingcrow]

A (not comprehensive) List of Little Self Care Things I Do When Everything Feels Like Too Much:

Bathing

Wash just your body, or just your hair. You may not be completely clean, but you ARE cleaner

Still feels like too much? No problem!

Take off any jewelry from your hands/wrists and wash your hands up to your elbows, just taking your time

Then wash your arm pits and groin, those are the stinkiest parts of the body

If you're feeling up to it, wash your face too

Once you're done washing, take your favorite body lotion and massage it in anywhere you washed

Shaving

Shaving takes time and patience (especially if you prefer to be mostly hairless), but you don't have to go through the whole process every time

Wanna wear that cute tank top/crop top but don't feel comfortable with how hairy your pits are today?

JUST shave your arm pits then

Wanna wear shorts/capries/a skirt, but feel your legs are too fuzzy?

Where on your legs do the cuffs/hem sit? JUST shave from there down

Facial hair looking kinda scruffy? Got an electric shaver? It won't give you as close a shave as a razor, but it'll help neaten you up a bit

After any shaving, get back in there with your lotion and work it in well

Laundry

Don't have the energy to drag that big basket you've been avoiding down to the washing machine? Out of clothes but need something to wear tomorrow?

Wash ONLY what you'll need for the next 1 or 2 days. A smaller load means less to put away after

Need a bra/binder/mask/etc for tomorrow? Wash ONE, then hang it to dry with a fan blowing on it.

The air movement will help it dry faster, and while it may not be 100% dry by morning, it should be dry enough to wear comfortably

This can be done for underwear and socks as well

Dental

Mouth feeling like sandpaper, but you still can't find it in you to go through the whole tooth care routine?

JUST brush your teeth before bed. You can floss in the morning

No energy to get in there and really scrub like your dentist told you to? Even just a quick scrub is better than nothing

You know those little Gum brand toothpick things? With runber bristles on them? They can't replace proper flossing, but the CAN at least get the worst of the gunk from between your teeth

Food

Hungry but can't bring yourself to put together a whole meal? That's okay!

Get all the fixings for a sandwich (bread, spreads, cheese, meat, etc), put them on a plate and eat that. You're still eating a sandwich, it's just not an assembled sandwich

Want a smoothy, but don't want to fuss with the blender? Put it all together as a yogurt bowl instead

Want a salad? Grab a couple lettuce leaves, a stick of celery, half a tomato, or whatever else you'd have in there, and toss it on a plate. Grab some dressing (or not) and you've got a personal size veggie platter

Cut an orange in half and eat the pulp out with a spoon

Cut an apple in half, and eat JUST one half. You can save the other half for later, or eat it right after the first if you feel up to it

Cutting a banana in half and squeezing out the fruit means you don't have to worry about those gross stringy bits

Simple Smoothie Recipe:

1 banana

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp honey/sugar

Milk (dairy, soy, almond, whichever)

Berries, yogurt, chocolate chips, jam (optional)

Directions

Put all ingredients except milk in a blender (or 4 cup measure if using a hand mixer)

Pour in milk until ingredients are ALMOST covered. There should be about 1 inch/2.5 cm of solid ingredients visible

Blender/mix for 30-60 seconds, or until desired consistency. Pour into your favorite glass, or drink straight from the container

Simple baked potato:

Clean a medium to large potato and use a fork to stab holes down the sides and at each end. Depending on the size, you should have stab your potato somewhere around 9-12 times.

Place the potato in the microwave just off of center, one end facing the center of the spinning plate

Microwave for 15 minutes, flipping the potato end for end after every 5 minutes

Put the potato on a plate with some sour cream or ranch dressing, and dip it like a big ol' french fry

House Cleaning

Feel like there's too many dishes? Pick ONE place setting (bowl, plate, knife, fork, spoon, cup), and ONE pot/pan, and clean those. Do the same at the end of each meal, and while it might take a while, you'll eventually get things down to a manageable level

Dust bunnies breeding in the corners? Pick ONE room or hallway every couple days and just clean there. ONE clean room is better than NO clean rooms

Your room is so messy you don't know where to start? Every time you enter your room, put ONE thing back where it belongs. Every time you leave your room, take one thing that doesn't belong out with you and put it where it belongs.

Sink looking kind of gross? Give it a quick wipe down the next time you wash your hands

Toilet needs a clean? Pick a part (lid, seat, back or bowl) and just clean that bit. Even if you're just wiping some of the dust off the back.

Scum ring building up in the shower/bathtub? Give it a quick scrub next time you bathe. Maybe you don't get the whole thing, but you DID make a start.

Fitness

No energy for a full walk? If you can, walk around your house/apartment building. You might not have gone far, but you were UP and you were OUTSIDE.

Can't get out for whatever reason? Are there stairs in your house? In your apartment building? If you can, walk up and down those a few times.

Not really able to do stairs? Do some simple stretches instead.

Reach down and try to touch your toes, holding for 20 seconds. Reach up over your head as high as you can, holding for 20 seconds. Repeat 5 times

Sitting in a chair, reach your right hand across your body and over your left shoulder and try to grab the back of the chair without lifting your butt. Hold for 20 seconds. Do the same with your left arm, holding for 20 seconds. Repeat 5 times

Standing, or sitting on a chair, gently pull your head towards your shoulder (right hand, right shoulder; left hand, left shoulder), reaching the other hand down towards the ground. Hold for 20 seconds, then gently push your head upright again (lifting your head with just your neck muscles can cause them to seize after a stretch). Repeat 5 times

Miscellaneous

Need to trim your nails, but don't feel like sitting through both hands? Pick one finger on each hand, and just trim that nail. Do another nail on each hand tomorrow, and another the day after that. You don't have to do them all at once

Having trouble remembering to drink enough water? Find a water bottle/mug/glass that you like and try to keep it near you as much as possible. I find actually having a bottle with me helps me remember to keep sipping.

Still having trouble with your water intake? Fruit and veggies (specifically like apples, oranges, tomatoes, bell peppers and avocados to name a few) have high water content and can help keep you hydrated

Even if you can't get to sleep, lieing in bed with your eyes closed is more restful than trying to wear yourself out by reading or something

Alternatively, doing some mild stretches, or a few sit ups/push ups/jumping jacks can help wear you out without engaging your brain too much

You are aloud to say "no". You don't even need to give a reason. If everything feels like too much, taking on more responsibility will only make it worse, which will only make your output poorer as a result.

A reminder that this is by no means a complete list, just some things I've found helpful in my journey through adhd, depression, and anxiety. Not all tasks need to be done all at once. Maybe you can't do much, but that doesn't invalidate the some you did. Just because you take longer to do a task doesn't mean your bad at it, or that it isn't worth doing. You'll get there when you get there.

Please feel free to add to this post, I'd love to see what self care tricks other people are using!

[moonctzeny]

Can I request WayV reaction to you suddenly avoiding skinship/intimacy because you don't feel attractive anymore after they rejected you once? (they were tired or just not in the mood at that time)

WayV reaction - you avoid intimacy out of insecurity after they rejected your skinship

warnings: WinWin's gets a tiny bit suggestive, alcohol consumption

▪️Kun

He looked so good when he cooked. You couldn’t stop your eyes from following the veins on his arms as he cut the various vegetables in the smallest of pieces. Your fingers ached to run across their length so you let them, stroking the little hairs in the opposite direction from their growth in the meantime.

“Y/n, not now”, he whines with a strictness in his voice that has you withering away from him.

You stayed quiet for the rest of the cooking, watching Kun in silence until he finally put the dish in the oven to cook. He walks over to your seat on the countertop, fitting himself between your legs. His hands find their place on each of your shoulders, making their way down to your elbows lovingly, yet you go rigid at the feeling and back away from his touch.

“Y/n, are you okay?”

“Do I annoy you sometimes?”

Kun’s eyebrows shoot up at your question, dropping his hands immediately to wrap them around your wrists instead.

“Never. What makes you think that?”

“You seemed pretty annoyed at me when you were cooking earlier”

His face stays frozen for a second, trying to figure out what exactly you were talking about. You’re taken aback when he starts to laugh light-heartedly, planting a kiss on your pouty lips.

“I didn’t tell you to stop because I didn’t like you touching me, baby. I needed you to stop because I liked it too much”

▪️Ten

You avoided his kisses like the plague. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into you, usually your nights visiting his dorm consisted of the both of you cuddling each other to death, napping in sheets that smelled of him and inviting the cats that snuggled between you. However now, the more he tried to approach you, the more you scooted away from him, and your excuses were starting to run out.

“Are you avoiding me or something?”

You shake your head negatively, avoiding eye contact so that he doesn’t see through you. But Ten is intuitive, especially when it comes to you, so he repeats the question again until he gets a sigh as an answer.

“You told me off pretty badly when I tried to kiss you an hour ago you know…”

“When I was drawing? You pushed my hand on accident and I missed like, half of my work!”

When he sees you continuing to be visibly upset at him, despite his light and teasing tone, he lifts your hand from your lap to his lips, kissing your wrist, then your palm, then your ring finger.

“I’m sorry if I said something I shouldn’t”, he leans over to peck your lips mid-sentence, and his voice is too soothing for you to resist him, “You know how much I love to kiss you.”

As if to prove his point he brings you closer again, and he smiles into the kiss when he feels you deepening it.

“I could taste your lips forever”

▪️WinWin

▪️WinWin

Your boyfriend was never big on skinship and you knew. You understood his paranoia of holding hands in public, even with sunglasses and a big mask covering half of his handsome face. Being a celebrity isn’t easy and you had come to terms with that, but you didn’t know he would react so coldly to you in this private party with his members being the only ones invited.

You were a little tipsy, holding on to Sicheng’s arm for stability, and admittedly you just wanted a little love from your boyfriend. Pulling his hair out of his eyes, you pucker your lips at him, waiting for a kiss that never came.

“What is up with you today? You’re all over me!”

The drive home was quiet, your whole body facing away from him, eyes staring outside the window or anywhere else but him. You weren’t angry, just sad if anything else, and Sicheng felt he had enough when you started to storm off to your shared bedroom without him. A hand on your wrist stops you abruptly.

“Why are you like this? You’ve been quiet ever since we left the party”

“Do you not find me attractive anymore?”

The filter between your brain and mouth had vanished from the alcohol, shocking Sicheng with your candor.

“What on earth makes you think that?”

“You never kiss me in front of your friends. It’s like you're embarrassed of being seen with me…”

Your boyfriend’s eyebrows furrow, almost meeting on the base of his forehead before he pushes you up against the entrance door. The kiss he initiates is full of passion and something animalistic that you’ve always thought looks good on him. It isn't long before the hands that you so desperately needed on your body before formed bruises on the skin over your hipbones.

“The reason why I don’t kiss you in public is because I won’t be able to stop, not when you always look so pretty. And then I will make you look needy and breathless and messy, just like you do right now. I don’t want anyone else to see you like this. You’re too damn beautiful. You’re mine.”

▪️Lucas

Skinship and Lucas were synonyms when it came to your relationship. He loved getting to touch you at all times, whether it was a big, suffocating hug or just his large hands on the small of your back. You were barely awake when your boyfriend came back to your apartment, his busy schedule with SuperM keeping his side of the bed colder than you’d like. He didn’t even bother to wash up, just took his clothes off and covered himself up with your shared duvet and his chest facing your own. Satisfied with his mere presence, you scoot over, and lay one arm over his waist, bringing yourself closer. It was a shock to you when he turned to the other side, unwrapping your arm in the process and letting it fall in the space between you.

You decided not to address the incident that left a sting to your heart the next morning, spending the whole day with Lucas since it was rare for him to be free of any schedules. It was absolutely lovely, from the movie you watched to the homemade food you prepared for the both of you. Until the sun set again.

“Are you going back to your dorm now?”, you ask him while doing the dishes, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know, maybe you prefer sleeping in your own bed. Alone.”

Your back is facing him but you can sense the pout forming on his handsome features. You feel his body heat as he comes closer to you and wraps his arms around you, only for you to squirm away from his hold and pat your hands dry, leaving the sink.

“What’s wrong?”, Lucas asks quietly, his eyes doubling in size.

“It’s just that last night when I tried to cuddle you to sleep you avoided me… It’s okay if you don’t want to crash here you know-”

“Babe, babe”, he starts, taking your hands in his, “I was dirty and sweaty last night. I didn’t have the energy to shower and I felt gross. I would never reject a night with you”

“Really?”

“Really. Now how about we go to bed and I give you those cuddles that I owe you?”

▪️Xiaojun

It was rare to see Xiaojun be so frustrated with anything. He’d been sitting on that same spot of the bed for hours now, guitar propped up on his lap and a blank sheet of paper in front of him. You tried to relieve his stress anyway you could, massaging his shoulders, kissing his cheek every time he sighed. And while your boyfriend accepted them at first, soon you saw him bend away from your acts of affection, so much so that you were worried about whether you have angered him.

An icky feeling weighed you down when he kept ignoring you as time went by, realizing that today was not the day you’d get the quality time you craved from your boyfriend. Quiet so as not to bother him, you start to collect your things and pack them back into your bag, the sound of the zipper finally catching Xiaojun’s attention.

“Where are you going?”

“You seem busy. I’ll come by another day”

“No no no!”, he exclaims, swiftly pulling his guitar aside, “I was looking forward to seeing you”

“Well you don’t seem to want any love from me right now. We can reschedule our date night for another time”

You didn’t expect him to jump up on his feet so quickly, neither to pull you into a hug as tight. His words come out muffled from your hair that is covering his mouth as he kisses it.

“Don’t leave, please. I’m sorry I was ignoring you”

“No, I’m sorry if I overstepped your personal space”

You soothe out the wrinkles that have formed between his pretty eyebrows with your thumb, taking a moment to appreciate his warm smile before he brings you into a long kiss.

“I’m stuck on this song that I’m writing. Maybe I just need inspiration”

▪️Hendery

“Why are you looking in the mirror so much?”

In the span of the last hour you managed to feel insecure over your hair, your skin, your choice of clothing. You thought you were being subtle when checking out yourself, the reflection only making you wanna shrink even more with every quick glance.

“Do you still find me as attractive as you did when we first met? Like do you ever get butterflies on your stomach anymore?”

“Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?”

You sigh, rubbing your face in embarrassment. Being content in yourself was a challenge on its own, even more so when your boyfriend looked like that.

“When we first started dating we were all over each other. I wouldn’t even make it past your bedroom door before you kissed me everywhere. Ten called us disgusting all the time.”

“And?”

“And now it’s been an hour since I came here and you haven’t even touched me...”

Hendery sighs, and runs his fingers through his hair defeatedly. With a soft hand motion he encourages you to come lie next to him on his bed, cupping your face before leaving a kiss on your lips.

“When we first started dating I couldn’t believe you were mine. I had this urgency in me like I had to taste as much of you as I could. Like you would slip away from my fingers, but-”

“But?”

Hendery takes your hand in his, and starts a trail of shiver-inducing kisses from your wrist up to your shoulder, so slow that you thought he’d never finish his sentence.

“But I realized that it wasn’t fair to you. I want to love you like we have a lifetime ahead, not like our time is running out. I want to love you like you deserve, and I want to take my time”

▪️Yangyang

He was playing that damn video game again. Yangyang always looked so cute when he was concentrating so heavily, lips pursed in a pout and eyes following the different players on the screen. Desperate to feel the softness of his hoodie and comfort on his embrace you come closer to him, attempting to sit on his lap.

“He’s behind you! Shoot! Shoot!” You jump up from your seat along with him, wrapping your hands around his neck to keep your balance. “Babe not now! You made me miss the screen!”

Hurt by his sharp tone and volume of his voice you start to get up, hating the burning feeling of the fresh tears that begged to escape the corners of your eyes.

Yangyang’s grip on your elbow stops you before you leave his lap, a worried look painted on his face.

“What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

“You know sometimes you get so into your games that you yell at me over nothing…”

His pretty face falls into a frown, whole body rigid and focused on your sad expression.

“Baby, come here”

Throwing one leg over his lap, Yangyang turns you around in his hold so that you’re facing him. His fingers pet your hair until you close your eyes in bliss, your breath slowing down until it matches his.

“You’re right. I’m so, so sorry if I said something that hurt you. Will you please stay here? You’re my lucky charm. My beautiful, lucky charm that fits right into my lap”

You smile at his sweet words, letting your head rest against his neck and enjoying the little backrubs he gave you until he felt you were fully relaxed. You easily fell asleep in his arms, your sweet dreams interrupted only from the kisses he left on your temples.

[catintheruemorgue]

annoying things they do

summary: small things these guys do that just grinds your gears a bit.

characters: oda, dazai, kunikida, twain, akutagawa, atsushi, mori, poe, ranpo, fittzgerald, steinbeck, chuuya, yosano, gin, kouyou, higuchi, alcott and lucy

these are all based off things i do or have inconvenienced my life lmfao i’ll probs do a part two with everyone i missed this just got wayyy to long lol next im posting being friends with double black 

Oda:

If you're wearing shorts and have bruises he will poke them when you're resting your legs on him. He’s silent about it too and if you yell at him he pretends to act like he doesn't know what you're talking about.

Will smack your sunburn but this one is actually an accident. He just wanted to pat you on the back because you're amazing.

Will space out when you talk too long, sometimes certain objects are just so… mesmerizing

Dazai:

Loves to jumpscare you the only exception is if it was a trigger. In that case he will just call your name and whip something at you for you to catch at random.

When you're driving he likes to reach over and honk your horn. It's almost caused so many roadside fistfights.

If he sees a dog in public he will bark and growl at it.

Kunikida:

Won’t let you on the bed without socks on. You could be sick as a dog and he’ll still enforce this rule.

Cleaning is hard because he has a hard time throwing things away. You'll spend extra time as he holds two identical pens, trying to decide which one he wants to keep. He’s learned to plan certain days in his schedule for cleaning now.

Won't let you turn up the music in the car and will keep it at a level that's so low it's annoying.

Twain:

Walks around the house shirtless but then complains about how cold it is.

Blasts his music so loud when he wakes up in the morning and it's always early 2000’s hits. It's not rare for you to have Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield stuck in your head by 9 am.

Always has to climb something, this stems from his adventurous side. It's not really that annoying but when you’re in a crowded area and he runs off to go climb the tall statue, screaming at you to take a photo… Yes it is. Especially when children try and follow him and you're stuck receiving glares from the parents.

Akutagawa:

Will not let you throw any food products out. He tells you it's a perfectly good meal (even if it's not) and that he will eat it tomorrow. It’s sad because you know this stems from childhood but it’s still annoying.

Reuses the same gross, musty ziplock baggies. You keep buying new ones but he doesn't get it lol.  

Will tell you if your breath smells, hair is messy, outfit is ugly. He does not see an issue with this and it's nice knowing someone has your back but he doesn't have to be so rude about it..

Atsushi:

If he drinks he's one of those drinkers who will not let you take it from him. Keeps an iron grip on the cup. He finishes it no matter how drunk and always throws up. Thankfully he rarely drinks.

He stops to help everyone, literally even if they just look like they need help. You've been late to so many things.

Will eat anything. Once you made steak and somehow forgot about it. It was hard as a brick yet he still almost broke his teeth eating it. You think you saw some tears as he told you it was delicious.

Mori:

Listens to people's conversations in public and isn't afraid to comment, loudly, about it. You know it's loud because they either stop talking or try and confront you guys.

Comes up to stops fast and brakes so hard you feel like he does it on purpose.

Sometimes if he and Elise get into a “disagreement” he’ll try and rope you in to take his side and you always do, knowing it would probably give him more satisfaction if you chose to side with her.

Poe:

Asks for constructive criticism but will then argue with you about why you're wrong.

Always humming a song he heard Twain singing and then it gets stuck in your head too.

Will deny stupid things like why your favorite mug is in the trash or why he just let out rather loud scream in the bathroom. You know he's lying because he looks away and makes sure his bangs are covering his eyes.

Ranpo:

Will call you out on any lie even if you don't mean to lie you just forgot about some of the details.

Don't take him grocery shopping if you have a set amount you want to spend. He won't even sneak, he will just say he wants something and throw it in the cart.

Such a backseat driver even though he can't drive.

Fitzgerald:

Likes to act like he's still in his twenties and will somehow get the two of you invited to college parties where he will attempt to do a kegger in front of everyone. You end up being the one to hold him up and he always ends with a, “LETS FUCKING GO!”

Likes to ask for the senior discount even though he's not that old, he just likes to hear the women validate that he's not old.

It’s scary how he used to buy without looking and now will scream if the price on a price tag is too high.

Steinbeck:

Always looking at the grass for wheat to chew on. It's so cheesy when you walk into the city and he's got it sticking out of his mouth.

He gets weirdly intimate with nature and you feel like you're third wheeling.

Has the mentality that he has to provide for you because he is the man. He gets so shocked when he finds out you still want to work.

Chuuya:

Has a hard time making decisions you could ask him what he wants for dinner and his mind will just break.

Gets way too pissed at movies and will actually get up and walk away. Once you were kicked out of the theater because he wouldn't stop yelling at the screen. Another time he walked out you waited a whole ten minutes before you realized he wasn't coming back.

Sometimes activates his ability at night and it's so scary waking up to him floating halfway across the room.

WOMAN TIME!!!!!!!!!!

Yosano:

Will glare at you so intensely if you say something she disagrees with.

Always tries to rope you into drinking with her even if you’ve said no the past ten nights.

Will describe wounds or injuries in such detail and just won’t stop, almost like she’s trying to fuck with you, but she’s not.

Gin:

Claims to be nothing like her big brother but then will go on to make the same facial expressions and do some of the same mannerisms as him.

Will spend hours trying things on just to put it all back, leave the store and change her mind when you’re almost home. Then she’ll have you run back with her to buy it all.

Is used to sneaking around so scares you a lot. Also on the topic of being silent sometimes she just won’t respond, thinking you can just read her vibes / mind.

Kouyou:

Will judge what you eat, especially fast food but will try and steal a fry in private when you're not looking.

Will say things like, “Well that's just the way the world works.” If someone tries to share their baggage with her. You understand she’s had a pretty rough life but it's caused you to almost spit out your drink multiple times.

At functions forgets about you for about an hour while she mingles with everyone else, you could tap on her shoulder and she'll dismiss you like you're a subordinate. Until you clear your throat again you'll see the slight blush as she apologizes.

Higuchi:

She has no sense of privacy. If she hears a crash or loud noise she will bust down the door. It’s sweet but not when the noises are usually from you knocking all the shampoo bottles down again.

Horrible road rage actually puts you on edge to be in the car with her. She doesn't even have to be driving.

Likes to act like she's a professional at everything and people usually believe it because of her suit. It's so nerve wracking when she giggles when they walk away with false information.

Alcott:

Will agree to everything you suggest but you can only tell when she doesn’t want to do it when you’re currently doing it.

Yet she’s not afraid to grumble about how annoying it is when someone bumps into you and doesn’t apologize. It’s sweet but you’re left dealing with the situation if the person is aggressive enough to say something.

Always corrects your spelling or if you say something like “I could care less.”

Lucy:

Will fish for compliments in a very obvious way like, “Wow. Wish someone would call me pretty..” and then just stare right at you.

Kicks you so violently in her sleep but won't let go of you so you cant get away.

Constantly stealing from restaurants. You're banned from a couple restaurants because she got caught trying to steal a cup or salt shaker.

[running-with-kn1ves]

What would happen if the reader were adopting this seemingly harmless kitten hybrid and they act like a cat hybrid enough, and do normal human-cat things for a while until they come into heat, or even before that, and things go from 0-100 real fast. Maybe this hybrid wants more from its owner to the point it becomes a yandere?

A/N: I legit got a similar request on Quotev, w/ someone asking for a body affirmation/self esteem cat-human hybrid fluff 😭 So.. as my duty to the people, I must clash the two and provide >:).

TW: Implied sexual relations 👀, possessive behaviors, (not smut) dubcon, cat/human hybrid, self esteem issues, just mostly all around fluff but there is a bit of self hatred

Female! Human-cat hybrid X GN! Reader

Things with your new... "pet," started off normal. Sure, it wasn't super common to have a human-cat-animorph thing as your roommate, but there were weirder things to come across. The cat girl who made herself comfortable in your house wasn't really a pet nor a rent-paying roomie.

In all honesty, she was more of a moocher. She mooched off your food, air conditioning, bed, and even your Netflix subscription! The gal didn't pay for anything-- even though by government standards she could technically obtain a job.

While you went out, slaving away at a poor excuse for a job, she stayed home, eating prime, high quality tuna, and sleeping on your comforter.

Often, you'd come home to see her snuggled up on the couch with a weighted blanket and remote in hand. The only thing you were paid back with was dead rodents.

When she wasn't perusing the internet or sleeping, she would go out into the yard, and look for bugs or small animals-- anything she could take on that you would certainly "find appealing." At least that's what she thought.

Even though time after time you told her that the dead possums and rabbits on your doorstep were NOT necessary and were GROSS, she didn't seem to get it. Or rather, care.

That's how it has been for the past 2 months. Quiet, coming home to a house with fur and dandruff everywhere, and a messy bed. It was certainly annoying, but not enough to make you kick her out; you couldn't do that no matter the person or animal! Persanimal, in this case.

Even though she was tiring to clean up after, you knew she did her best to provide you companionship. Finding her in that alleyway, drenched and skin and bone, was probably the best day of your life; she's been helping you through thick and thin, especially through the days where you contemplate murdering your boss and coworkers.

Life's been hard; but your cat-person is slowly making it more bearable. And it's not like she ever did harm or weird things-- at least that's what you thought until tonight.

"Come onnnn play with me!"

"Silva, no. I need to finish this before tomorrow morning-- if I don't, Gary'll have my head on a stick. Do you want my head on a stick? " You turn to look at her with raised eyebrows.

Silva pouts, scrunching her nose at you. "Oh boo! You'll be fine. And I'm not asking for all night-- unless that's what you want. " She looks at you suggestively, scanning your tired form up and down.

"As if." Pushing her head you force her to roll over, almost off of the bed. Silva makes a groan, a noise between human and animalistic.

"I'm bored! You're so annoying. I'm stuck in this house all day with nothing to do and you won't even pay attention to me. "

Silva pouts, her hands crossed against her chest. You could feel a tail flick against you, her feline ears slightly jutting out.

You sigh out of frustration, and at the fact that you wanted to give in. It was so straining to work-- it'd be nice to just lay down and sleep.

Rubbing your temples, you put down the papers in your hand for a moment.

"I'm sorry Silva, the whole team has been thrown for a loop," you look over at Silva; her ears showing that she was listening. "I'm on a really tight schedule; besides, I don't think I'm more fun compared to sleeping." You let out a short laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'll be the judge of that."

Silva jumps atop you, causing papers and files to fall onto your bedroom floor. The fluttering sound of all that hard work being smudged and tucked under the bed made your heart sink. The cat hybrid had you under her, your head falling snuggly onto the sheets. Silva sat on your waist, looking down at you with a mischievous grin.

"Silva!! What are you doing-- I need those files sorted by tonight! "

"No," she starts, an angry snarl showing off the rows of pointed teeth in her mouth. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of your work, and you being too busy to even notice me. It's my turn. "

Licking her lips, you felt and saw Silva bend down with ease, lack of grace following her nips and grazes.

Her long and jagged nails were gentle, poking and prodding at your flesh as she pleased, moving to grip the sides of your abdomen. Silva's lips trailed from your rib cage down. Her sharp canines lightly pressed against your skin, making you shiver. She trailed lower towards the beginning of your pajama bottoms.

Her furry ears tickled against your skin, making goosebumps rise. Silva pulled against the fabric, hugging your hips with her teeth, tugging it down with might.

Before she got the chance to move further, you pushed her away, bringing your legs up to your chest and hugging them.

Silva let out a surprised grunt, rolling to the side of the bed.

Digging under the covers you rolled onto your knees, hugging the sheets closer to you.

"Don't do that!" You yelled, your voice muffled against the mattress.

"Do what?" Silva says, her voice rising in pitch. You can tell she's even more annoyed than before, her nails digging into the bed, pulling the sheets away from you.

"Don't like-- touch me like that!" You tried to pull the bed sheets back. "Its not funny when you play games..."

"But I meant it," Silva tries to lift the sheets off your head to no avail. "I want to touch you. To be with you. You're never home! " Gaining enough strength, the animal hybrid manages to pull the sheets off that were hiding you away. She grips your hand, tugging you to face her.

"What is the real issue here?" Silva asks. Her voice was full of frustration. Huffing, you ignored her concerned glare, with shame.

"This..." you look down at your body, Silva's eyes following your own. "I'm not proud of it. So when you touch me like that.." You grip your shirt, palms growing sweaty. "I just don't want you to look at it and feel the way I feel. I don't want you to be... disappointed. " Looking down, you see the realization hit Silva through her body language. Her grip on your arm loosens, but not by much.

She let's out a soft "oh," her tail pausing its flicking.

"So let's just drop it, it's sleep time anyway," you say with feigned cheerfulness. "Okay?"

Silva still has a hard look on her face, full of confusion and a bit of annoyance as she lays down. You pick up the few papers scattered across the floor, leaving them on a desk nearby for you to deal with in the morning.

Exhaustion hit you like a brick; it was already so late in the night.

Turning off the light, you shuffled into bed, letting the warmth comfort you.

Though the night and Silva's body next to yours was calming, a lingering discomfort still hung in the air. You felt the conversation with Silva on the topic beforehand wasn't truly over.

The ticking of a clock outside of your room filled the awkward silence, letting it blend in.

Without discretion, Silva turns to face you, her expression still struck with some sort of hard misunderstanding.

You stare back at her, quiet but listening.

"I don't understand. I can act like I do, but I don't. You're telling me you don't like yourself? "

Shrugging, you avoid her gaze, feeling the shame bubble up inside you again.

"It's just-- I don't want you to not like what I look like.. I feel.. gross. I don't want you to see me that way. " You felt yourself shrivel up, body physically curling.

Silva didn't respond, instead deciding to use a method of attack. Ruffling under the bed sheets she tackled you, forcing you both underneath a mess of blankets. Through the darkness, you could make out the features of her face: and she did not look happy.

Her jaw was clenched, slit pupils turning into thin lines.

"That's such bullshit! Are you kidding me? Is this what you fill your head with every day?"

Her anger turned soft when she noticed your guilt ridden cringe.

"... really?"

You bite at the inside of your mouth, feeling tense at such a confrontation. You didn't think you'd ever have a conversation about self-esteem with Silva. She was already naturally so sure of herself; you didn't expect her to be the one calling you out.

Her fingers gripped your face quickly, the touch gone as soon as it came, being replaced by her mouth on top of yours. It was a quick kiss, but smooth and skillful. You broke away, looking up at Silva with bewilderment. She was certainly affectionate, but the moderate amount for a human animal hybrid. Kisses, were never given-- you had never even thought about such affections with her.

She was always just an annoying, loafing roommate cat person who stole your food. But now? Well, you couldn't deny how fast your heart was racing.

"Don't ever say that. Don't ever say something like that again. " She waved her finger in your face, perfectly manicured. Of course, she had time to do her nails while you were serving capitalist businessmen.

Focusing on small things other than her voice was better than actually processing the information and anger she had at you.

"Hey!" Silva's weight on top of yours was both comforting and suffocating, as panic rose inside of you. "Are you listening to me? Do I need to kiss you again to get your attention? "

Your head snapped at that. Embarrassed and feeling surreal, you shifted uncomfortably under Silva.

"Well at least that caught your eye," she said, stroking back a few pieces of your hair. "But I want you to promise me... you're not.. gross. I can't even think of it! Do you promise me? "

You mumble under your breath, looking away once again.

"Don't make me.." Silva muttered, inching dangerously close to your face. To avoid her assault once more, you shouted out.

"Okay, fine! I get your point.. I was just trying to help... I didn't want you to be let down. I didn't want you to be disappointed in what I really looked like... "

"Disappointed-- How the hell could I be disappointed? What you really look like? " She laughed, her body reverberating against you. You were almost in awe seeing her do so. She had never laughed-- at least not because of you, or something so silly as your lack of confidence. Sure, she'd burst out howling at the TV sometimes, but you had never seen her laugh like this. A real, living, breathless laugh.

You shrugged, unsure of what to say.

"Y/n, I could never be disappointed, never. After everything, " she leaned down to kiss you slowly, but you didn't pull away; it was chaste, almost the illusion of affection. "After all that you've done for me."

Silva's hands gripped your shoulder blades, her mouth lingering over your cheek. "Even if we were strangers. Even if you never found me, I'd find you." She leaned down, kissing your cheek and moving to your neck. You tangled your fingers in her dark hair, your hips instinctively moving up to push against hers.

"I can't believe you would ever think that I would be 'disappointed,'" she breathed hard, snickering against your skin.

Pulling down your collar, she kissed your upper chest, running a hand down up and down the side of your stomach.

"What was I supposed to think." You whined, annoyed at how she mocked you.

"Not that, idiot!" She flicked your forehead, her ears flattening slightly.

"Either way," licking her lips, Silva moves to look in your eyes. "I don't ever want to hear words like that come out of your mouth again. If you do, I might just have to punish you-- can't have you badmouthing my pet. Okay?" She said with a grin, peering down at you.

"Alright.." you said with a sigh, staring back at her.

"Good." She gave you a short kiss. "Now, will you play with me?"

Another suggestive face was thrown your way.

"Silva I have to work tomorrow. " You groaned, shifting underneath her. The excuse of having work was both true, and it helped disguise your embarrassment and fear. Doing such as she suggested, was something you had never even dreamed of doing with Silva.

"I won't take no for an answer!"

She smiles, positioning herself above you. Silva's palms are planted in yours, stretching out your right hand against the bed.

She kisses your lips, slowly trailing down to your chest, stomach, and lower abdomen. Pulling down slightly at the top of your pants, Silva looks up at you.

One of your hands is still nestled in her hair, petting her ears slightly.

"Now, let's play."

[uvobreakmylegs]

Retrieval

I just wanted to write some gross shit sorry

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, death, graphic imagery, gore, blood, degradation, threats of violence

A trio of very intoxicated men stumbled out of the front door of the bar followed by you. You held the door open for a second as you called out to the men to have a good night and to come back soon, but before you could give any of them a chance to respond you had shut the door and locked it, the bell on the door jingling above you. Maybe you weren't being too subtle about wanting them to leave already so you and your coworker could clean up the place, but at the moment you couldn't say you cared too much. It was after midnight and you wanted to go home.

Your coworker, Corey, chuckled at you from the entryway to the kitchen.

“Not very professional of you.”

“Because people like that are coming to a sports bar for professionalism and not to get drunk off of their asses,” you answered, grabbing a bucket and rag to begin with wiping down the tables.

“It's on you if they call back to complain,” he teased.

You laughed.

“Like any of them will be able to remember when they wake up tomorrow.”

“Guess you got a point there.”

You hummed in agreement, wiping down the wooden seats of the chairs before glancing back to him; Corey was still standing in the doorway, checking something on his phone.

“Are you going to clean up back there or are you expecting me to do it for you?” you teased him.

Corey held up his hands in mock surrender before he disappeared back to the kitchen.

The small sports bar you worked at always got pretty messy, both inside the kitchen and out. Food crumbs, wet stains from spilled drinks and small things like loose change, wads of gum and people's small personal items littered the dark carpeted floor. The tables and chairs were usually in a similar state in terms of the food and drink residue. At least you had never needed to clean the bathrooms.

Moving from table to table, you would wipe the surfaces clean, letting the mess on top fall to the floor before you set the chairs upside down on top of the table. Whatever had ended up on the floor you'd get with the vacuum later. It was time consuming and monotonous, but there was a weird part of you that got a certain satisfaction of being able to return the dining area back to a clean state, even if it would be all ruined by the next evening.

Even if it was stupid, at least you actually had the freedom to do what you liked no matter how stupid it was.

Corey was playing something on his phone in the kitchen; knowing him, it was probably some new podcast he had gotten into. The noise you could hear from the back was drowned out when you turned on the vacuum cleaner, trying in vain to clean up everything on the floor. You really wished the owners would take the time and money to replace the carpet with some hardwood; it would make cleaning up easier and would just look nicer.

The bar was always last because it wasn't usually that bad and you could get away with a not so thorough job as you tried to finish up before your shift ended. Corey was almost always done with the kitchen at this point and would be ready to mop the floor after you wiped down the counter.

As expected, Corey was waiting in the kitchen doorway with the mop bucket right next to him when you made it to the bar counter.

“Any plans after you get off?” he asked.

“Sleep,” you answered.

“You sure lead an exciting life,” he said jokingly.

“It's going to be after one in the morning soon; what kind of plans could I have?”

“I don't know. Figured maybe you'd have a boyfriend waiting for you or something.”

Boyfriend.

That word brought back some unpleasant memories. Of things you wanted to forget, and what you had run away from all those months ago.

You tried not to show it, but Corey seemed to pick up on the way you tensed at that.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I'm fine,” you told him hastily, “not in the dating scene currently. I needed a break.”

He nodded slowly.

“Gotcha.”

You couldn't say that the two of you were particularly close, having only known each other a little less than a couple of months, but you did appreciate that he understood boundaries. Too many of the older staff were nosy and wanted to know your business, which frequently got on your nerves.

Wiping down the last bit of the bar, you were about to throw the cleaning rag back into its bucket when you both heard a loud banging sound coming from the kitchen.

“What the hell?” said Corey.

“I'll check it; you start mopping out here,” you told him.

He nodded as you brushed past him, your eyes looking about the kitchen as you entered it, trying to find the source of the noise. Setting down the bucket on one of the counters, you made your way to the back when you didn't see anything.

The culprit ended up being a large pan that had somehow fallen off the shelf. Most likely from being stacked incorrectly. That was annoying, since you now needed to wash it off, with it having touched the floor and all.

“Everything okay?” Corey called back to you.

“Yeah. Something fell,” you answered.

The wash you gave the pan was rather haphazard, but as you set it to the side to dry overnight, you figured that if the crew in the morning had an issue with it, they could clean it again. Right now you were five minutes away from clocking out and you wanted to get out on time.

“We're all good out here,” Corey's voice called again.

You were about to answer him when you noticed the bucket you had brought in, and when you ran over to dump the water out, you noticed the rag was missing.

“Ah shit.”

You'd left it on the bar counter, didn't you?

You had indeed managed to do that, and you slipped past Corey, standing on your toes and propping an arm on the bar counter as you reached for the rag.

“Could you maybe not step on my clean floors?”

“Sorry,” you called back, “need to grab something.”

Pulling the rag off of the counter by its tattered edge, you pushed off the counter a bit as you moved back to get off of the wet floor.

Somehow, you slipped. You felt your feet slipping against the wet tile as you fell backwards, and you had only seconds to try and brace for impact.

You hit something, but it wasn't the floor.

Corey had moved behind and grabbed you just in time. He held you like that for a moment so you could adjust your footing and stand up properly.

It was then you both realized that, in his efforts to save you from a nasty fall, one of his hands had accidentally ended up grabbing ahold of your breast, and he was currently groping you.

“Fuck I am so sorry!” he exclaimed, pulling his hands away the second you righted yourself.

“It's okay,” you answered. It came out a bit shaky, though that was mostly due to you almost falling.

“I swear that was an accident,” Corey continued.

“It's okay,” you insisted, “seriously, it's fine. I prefer that over having my skull break open.”

Corey nodded, but still looked sheepish, a hand coming up to scratch the back of his head while he looked at the floor.

Eager to alleviate this new tension, you wracked your brain for something to say that would get things feeling not so weird again.

“Hey,” you said, “I didn't fall, so at least your floors have been spared from that.”

He chuckled a little bit.

“For the most part. But you still stepped on them in the first place.”

“I forgot I left the rag! Give me a break.”

“I will, if you move so I can re-mop the floor,” he said.

Happy that things seemed to have gone back to normal, you complied, walking back into the kitchen and tossing the rag into a bin. You grabbed the bucket again, hoisting it up to dump the murky contents into the sink.

A loud noise sounded from the dining area, like wood being split apart accompanied by the light tingling of a bell.

It was so unexpected and so noisy even in the kitchen that you jumped, causing you to spill some water onto the floor.

That noise..... Was that the front door? From hearing the bell it sounded like it, but hadn't you locked it?

“Sir,” Corey's voice sounded through the kitchen door, “w-we're closed.”

Corey saying that indicated that someone had come in, but that noise wasn't normal, and you set the bucket back down as you went back to the dining area to investigate.

And how did this person get in? You were certain you had locked that door.

You pushed open the door-

And froze.

Phinks.

He was standing in front of the bar's entrance, the door practically pulled off of it's hinges and hanging open. Bits of the door frame had splintered off from the force he had used to wrench it open and had been scattered on the walkway leading up to it.

But there was no way Phinks gave a shit about that.

The second you opened that door, his eyes were on you.

Rage.

Pure rage radiated from him, a blackened aura you swore you could see that slowly began to fill the empty spaces in the bar, his form stiff and his hands in fists that were clenched so hard that his knuckles had turned white.

Only months ago you had done everything to get away from this man. Now he had found you, and he looked like he was ready to kill.

Corey looked back when you had entered, and immediately noticed your terrified expression.

“You know him?” he asked you.

Words couldn't come out. They just stayed trapped in your throat as you looked between him and Phinks, your breathing becoming short and harsh.

That had told Corey everything, as he stepped in front of you and addressed Phinks firmly.

“Sir, please leave now. We're going to call the police.”

With Corey now in the way, you couldn't see Phinks. But when he spoke for the first time since entering, you could sense just how much angrier he had become at Corey's actions.

“Un-fucking-believable,” he hissed.

Corey turned back, reaching out to you as he said “go call nine-”

Faster than either you or he could even think, Corey was pulled over the bar and brutally thrown across the room, crashing into one of the tables, the wood surface splintering and the chairs on top flying.

“Don't fucking touch her.”

Phinks' attention was on Corey now, and he stepped away from the bar. Corey was groaning and disoriented. There was blood dripping down his face as well as his arm, and he was shaking so violently that he couldn't push himself up off of the floor, instead collapsing over and over again onto the bits of broken table.

Phinks stood before him and reached down to pull him up by the collar of his shirt.

Corey pushed away his arm and stumbled backwards, hitting the edge of another table. You could see his eyes now, and the way he looked at Phinks in terror and confusion.

“Pathetic,” Phinks spat.

The blonde rolled up the sleeve on his right arm, and began to wind that arm in a clockwise motion.

That was familiar, you realized, as a horrible memory was brought back.

A man had tried to cut the strap of your purse as you and Phinks were walking home one night. Phinks had noticed and pulled you out of the way, but not fast enough, and you had ended up with a large gash on your arm.

“You think I'm scared of you?” the man had said when an infuriated Phinks approached him, winding up his arm once, then twice and then three times.

Phinks punched him and the man went flying; across the empty street and into the side of a building. The impact had left a dent in the bricks and the man's blood smeared on the surface as his body slid down onto the pavement.

Your mind had gone hopelessly blank at the sight of that, the wound on your arm you had been nursing forgotten as you stared wide-eyed at your boyfriend, who quickly returned to your side and chided you for taking pressure off of the cut.

“Ph-Ph-Phinks,” you stuttered.

“Yeah?”

“You..... You killed that man.”

Phinks' gaze narrowed.

“What's your point?”

He was going to do it again.

That brought you out of your stupor, and you rushed to the edge of the bar as you yelled out “Phinks! Please! Don't kill him!”

More pleas for Corey's life were about to spill from your lips when he glared back at you, a silent command for you to shut the hell up. That look made you freeze up again, and you stood by helplessly, holding on to the edge of the bar as you watched Corey struggle to stay upright.

That murderous aura that had been around him was now stifling, and it affected Corey to the point that he was having trouble breathing.

You counted at least twenty times that Phinks had rotated his arm, the aura increasing every time he did it.

Phinks glanced back at you again, and rotated once more.

He punched Corey in the face.

And Corey's entire upper half exploded.

His head was completely gone, face caving in on itself where Phinks had punched until it burst out through the back of his skull. His chest and arms were blown to pieces from the impact, the smaller bits of muscle and organs ripping out of him and sticking to the walls while the larger pieces of meat slid down with the copious amounts of blood and collected into the booths below. His lower half that remained mostly intact slumped beneath the table he had been leaning against, the remainder of his insides spilling out onto the floor while one of his legs still twitched. There was a fine red mist in the air over what remained intact, slowly settling down and soaking into the dark carpet.

You couldn't move.

You just stood there, keeping your hold on the edge of the bar, occasionally tensing and untensing your fingers as you looked at the piles of red slush and bone that had been your coworker.

Phinks had already walked away from it, coming towards the bar. But he passed by you, slamming the door to the kitchen open and letting it swing shut as he entered. You could hear movement, the sounds of his shoes scraping on the brick-red tile of the floor, glass clinking, him cursing to himself, a faucet being turned, and a familiar sound of water filling up a small container.

But you still stood there, unable to take your eyes away from the horrific scene. Minutes, no, seconds ago, that had been a person. Corey had friends, family and aspirations. And within a single moment, that person had been reduced to a mangled corpse that would only fill half of a body bag. How would they identify him? Whoever cleaned him up, would they be able to get everything? Or would bits of him be left behind and stay forever buried in the cracks and crevices of the bar?

You had seen Phinks kill before and it had made you sick then, but nothing had ever been anywhere near as terrible as this.

Corey's leg had stopped twitching, but blood that had hit the wall continued to trickle down in small streams.

You heard Phinks let out a loud sigh as a glass slammed against a metal counter top.

“Okay,” he called out, “I think I've calmed down now.”

Those footsteps in the back became louder and the door swung open again. Phinks appeared by your side, and when he gently put a hand on your arm, you finally looked away from Corey.

Phinks opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when he glanced over to the mess he had left.

“... Lets go to the back,” he said after a moment.

He pulled you with him into the kitchen, and you didn't fight him on it. He still looked angry, but it was considerably less than when he had first entered.

Phinks leaned against the rim of the sink, one hand staying on you as you were positioned to stand in front of him.

“Been a while,” he said quietly.

You didn't respond.

He tsked.

“Goddammit. I find you again after months, and now you can't speak because of that asshole out there. Look, I know I overdid it, but after seeing the way that guy touched you I couldn't control myself.”

His eyes narrowed and he continued “why the fuck did you let him get away with touching you like that?”

Somehow, you managed to find your voice.

“I-it.... It was an a-accident.”

Phinks' free hand came up to lightly slap the side of your head. It didn't hurt, but you flinched regardless.

He had used that hand to end Corey's life; he could easily do the same to you.

“Stupid. You actually thought a move like that was accidental? That bastard was taking advantage of you and you were laughing it off.”

That wasn't true. It had been an accident. But instead of volunteering those thoughts, you bit down on your lip as it began to quiver, tears starting to form in your eyes.

“Don't cry. Sorry. I shouldn't have hit you,” he said, his hand going back up to where he hit, softly stroking your hair.

“I'm just so fucking pissed at how gullible you are. What do you think would've happened if someone smarter had tried taking advantage of you? Fuck, some guys wouldn't need to be smarter; they'd just need to be strong enough to pin you down. Do you even realize how many ways you could've been fucked over before I found you? Did you even think about that? Or was that just me, because I'm actually capable of having some fucking sense?”

His hands settled on your shoulders and his grip became tighter.

“I've been stressed out of my mind trying to figure out where the hell you went, how the hell you managed to get away, or what condition you'd be in when I found you. I couldn't find you and I swear I was going insane. And after all that, when I finally manage to track you down, I have to see you letting some piece of trash grope you?”

Those hands slid up until they were around your neck, and his grip became tighter still.

“It would be so easy,” he murmured, “to just snap your neck and be done with it. Then the constant headache I get from worrying about you would go away. If you're going to fight and run away from me than what's the point?

“Maybe it'd be better for me if you were dead.”

It was deathly quiet in that kitchen.

Phinks still held that grip on you, and you were certain he could feel how fast your heart was beating through the pulse in your neck. You stood there, stiff and quiet as he looked you over, thinking to himself.

He really was considering it.

Any wrong move from you, and there would be two corpses to be found in the morning.

After a few painfully silent moments, he sighed again.

“But I think that if I killed you, part of me would die, too. Maybe that sounds stupid, but it's the truth.”

Finally taking his hands off your throat, he pulled you against his chest to embrace you.

“You drive me fucking crazy,” Phinks said, “but I'd be even more miserable if I didn't have you. Does that make sense?”

Your face was pressed against the front of his tracksuit and you found yourself focusing on the patterned colors of white, red and green.

“I've heard it said a lot that being in love means that you also have to suffer,” he continued, “do you think that's true?”

“..... I don't know.”

Your voice was barely above a whisper and was muffled by the way he pressed you against his chest, but he still managed to hear your answer as he actually chuckled, rubbing the top of your head.

“'I don't know'. Big surprise there,” he said sarcastically, “you haven't changed a bit.”

When he pulled you away he was smiling, wiping away your tears with his thumb as he told you “don't cry anymore. I'm taking you home.”

Hearing that only made you want to cry more.

“Go get your bag and anything else you brought in,” he continued, “I already went to your apartment and packed up your stuff there. Once we're done here we can head out.

“We'll be back home before you know it.”

[toru-oikawas-milkbread]

What it’s Like to Kiss Keishin Ukai

Notes: If you would like to see my other kissing headcanons posts, follow {this link} to my masterlist page 💕

Enjoy my kissing headcanons for daddy Ukai 😫 these were incredibly fun to write. I haven’t really been in a Ukai mood, but it slapped me across the face earlier and told me to write this, so I did 😂

<>~<>~<>

When you first got with him, you were honestly surprised at how good of a kisser he was. You knew Keishin had experience, he was an attractive man, but you’d previously thought that he wouldn’t be as good of a kisser as he was. You’d pegged him for a sloppy kisser, but he wasn’t just a nice messy kisser— he was so much better. The teasing lip bites, the way he’d tease you with his tongue, the way he’d pull you close by the waist while his lips press hard against yours were all things that were enough to make you lose your mind

Keishin’s lips have a tendency to be a bit chapped. He doesn’t like wearing chapstick on his lips because it gets the cigarettes that he smokes all gross around the lip area. Not only that, but he likes having the chapped lips to bite at. Alongside those things, he likes the extra feel of realism that the chapped aspect brings to the make out session. Keishin has thin lips, but his upper lip has a little bit more to it than his lower lip does

As stated above, Keishin doesn’t really care when his lips get chapped, however if you were to nudge chapstick in his direction, especially during the cold, dry winter months, he would use it. He’d merely rub it off before he smoked, but often times he has to apply it a bunch of times a day because he absentmindedly bites his lips or he’ll rub his lips together until it’s completely rubbed in. The only thing he likes about chapstick is the ability to rub his lips together and feel soft instead of rough and chapped skin

Keishin has a lingering smell of smoke and alcohol on him nearly all of the time, however there’s a lingering scent of a musky cologne that he wears clinging to his shirt that you can catch sometimes if you burrow your face against his chest and get past the smell of smoke that clings to his clothes. Rather than soapy when he’s clean, Keishin often only smells like his musky cologne because he puts it on right after he gets out of the shower in the mornings

When you’re kissing him, much like when you get close and smell him, there’s a distinct taste of both alcohol and smoke on his tongue. His lips are sweet, sometimes tasting like chapstick and sometimes only tasting like him. There’s a strong taste of alcohol on his tongue, hinting to you that the coffee he’s drinking might be a bit more than just coffee

Keishin loves to kiss. He’s always been into kissing, especially passionate make out sessions. He’ll have you up in his arms, pinned back against the storage room wall with a hand up your shirt and his tongue in your mouth, leaving you a flushed, disheveled mess to have to go back out into public in a few minutes. Even when the two of you aren’t making out, Keishin always lingers with his kisses, making you feel important and flustered as he cups your face in his hand and lingers for a soft goodbye kiss in the morning before he heads to work

When he’s kissing you, his eyebrows are usually furrowed inwards. When he focuses, his eyebrows have always furrowed, nearly giving the impression that he’s upset— but instead he’s rather focused on how to keep making you make those sweet sounds. He tries not to let the kiss get sloppy, trying to compose himself even as he’s trying not to get hard while the two of you are making out. Occasionally, Keishin will give soft hums into the kiss, but that’s usually only if you were to grope him

When he kisses you, Keishin’s kisses always have a certain kind of love. Even when it comes to soft goodbye kisses, he always lingers for a few seconds, almost never wanting to leave you. Instead he would stay with you all day, kissing you if he could. His kisses, though typically only when you’re making out, can be rough and deep and passionate, unlike any other kiss you’ve ever had. Otherwise, his kisses are typically softer and more loving on a regular basis

Truth be told, not much could ruin a kiss for him. Getting sneezed on, bonking heads, biting each other a bit too hard, getting walked in on— he could honestly kiss you as long as you wanted to. Now if you were to sneeze and want to stop, he would pull back immediately, but if you were to still want to kiss the man, he would go right back in without a care in the world

His favorite thing to do when he kisses you is run his fingers through your hair and grope at your chest. He likes to give your hair a little tug, making you moan into his mouth and squirm in his grasp when he gropes at your chest. He also likes to pull you onto his lap and grope at your ass while you sit on his legs, but he loves to push you up against the wall, have your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders as he holds you up by the thighs

[fukurodaze]

october

pairing: third year!tsukishima kei x third year!fem!reader genre: fluff, suggestive word count: 2.7k warnings: cursing, mentions of hickeys, makeout session hehe synopsis: “tsukishima” and “high school sweetheart” are a unique combination of words

LISTEN TO: lowkey - niki; used to you - mxmtoon

lowercase intended!

nobody knows about this.

nobody knows about his offhand banter and longing gazes. if you and kei go back exactly five months from today, you’d be asking him a question about the research assignment as you were about to leave the library and he surprisingly follows his answer up with “i’m going home too. come with?”

nobody knows him on facetime, staying late until his eyes can barely open after a blink. you’re used to his texts, somehow so much funnier and warmer than everyone seems to know him. and maybe one day he’d kissed you; on the right temple, as you fell asleep on your bed; on the back of your shoulder, when he did it subconsciously during a movie. and maybe you kissed him too; a short peck on the lips when he went home through your front door; another on his calloused and bandaged hands after a block had left it bruised. 

nobody knows that now, you’re straddling the boy you’ve known for a while as you suck his tongue until he gets breathless. his hands roam up and down your body, finding themselves under your shirt and holding onto the bare skin of your waist like he can never let go. when he tugs on the hem of your shirt, bunching it up your torso, you let him take it off, the moment away from his lips making you realise his lips are swollen and his glasses have been thrown somewhere on your bed. you freeze for a bit when he spends a little too long staring at your body, and you freeze even more when you realise you’re not wearing the bra you would’ve liked for this occasion, but you’re cut off when he starts nipping on your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he mumbles, “you don’t have to suck in your stomach.”

you relax a little, small whimpers coming out of your mouth as he continues to work on your neck, the little shocks of pleasure filling your senses as hands on bare skin start to feel more familiar than foreign. you could get used to this. 

“wait, don’t leave any, uh, marks or hickeys or whatever,” you breathe, “people might see.”

he hums, and yet his grip on you tightens as you think he’s coming back to your lips, but he doesn’t. he just stops there, face inches away as his lips barely ghost yours. he purses his lips for a second, like he’s thinking of something to say, but the microwave makes its strange appearance when it beeps loud enough to make you jump a little in his lap. he still holds you close. 

so, so close. and nobody else knows.

“i’ll get the popcorn.” right, because tonight you had planned to watch a movie with him. like the usual - talk, cuddle, whatever. 

come to think of it, your relationship with kei sounds weird; feelings so well understood without ever being spoken. you liked it at first, when he told you he liked you on a saturday morning, your reciprocated feelings tasting of warm rice and milky eggs and an unspoken convention that this stayed between you two and you two only. but as the days passed, and the thrill of a secret relationship wore off, you’ve started to wonder how it would feel like to be able to show people that, yes, tsukishima kei is your boyfriend, and yes, you like him very much.

when you take your shirt, he says, “wear my hoodie. it’s cold.”

you grin when you hear that, opting to simply wear his hoodie without a shirt underneath. it’s the same black hoodie he wears literally all the time and probably doesn’t wash regularly (which is gross) but if there’s one thing you learned about these feelings is that you couldn’t care less.

when you pick up the popcorn, kei only lays against the headboard of your bed, feeling slightly empty at the words he’d heard from you. serves him right, he thinks as he picks his glasses back up; this relationship, or whatever it is, isn’t something both of you wanted everyone to know. he’d get sick of all the attention, and there was probably no need for the two of you to share everything. it’s high school anyways, who knows how long it’s going to last.

yet, when you come back into his room, lips soft and hair tousled, holding a bowl of fragrant popcorn, kei finds himself letting go of those thoughts.

you take a seat on the floor against your bed frame, already having set up the laptop in the middle of the floor. you motion to the boy on the bed to come down, and he brings your entire duvet with him.

as he settles next to you, your shoulder touching his upper arm, you set the popcorn in the space where your knee meets his thigh, over the blanket. the movie you two had decided on earlier tonight starts playing, and you feel your head slide into the crook of kei’s neck, like it always does. 

the night starts off slow; just the two of you making remarks at the movie, laughing at plot holes and cliches. then, by halfway, the bowl of popcorn is empty; as the protagonist kisses their love interest, you feel a flush up your cheeks; and as the movie ends, kei’s arm is around your waist, pulling you into his side. it’s a pretty shitty movie.

“well, that was a shitty movie.” 

“agreed,” you grunt as you stand up to place the bowl of popcorn on your desk, to be taken out at a later time. you fold your laptop onto your desk as well, and kei gets the cue to sprawl your duvet back onto your bed. it’s only nine pm. you climb back in your bed, motioning for him to come with you, too.

slowly, his tall figure holds yours in an embrace filled with something you could only identify as care and affection. and here, especially with his glasses off, sight blurry and only really being able to see you in full focus, it makes you grin at how strikingly different he can be in your room and at school. not that you had ever seen him at school very often, as most of your relationship was crafted of video calls and secret little dates in the night. 

you wonder if he’ll grow out of this.

“oh my god, something kind of funny happened today after the english exam,” you chuckle, your head resting comfortably on kei’s chest. he lets out a questioning hum.

“the girls in my class thought i was seeing osawa,” you stifle a laugh, “at me they were like, you’re definitely dating a guy from the basketball club.”

“wait, how’d they know you were dating someone?”

“word got out. they asked for details, and i told them he was in a sports club.”

“they didn’t think about the volleyball club?”

you shake your head, “they did, but they literally went - ‘we know it can’t be kageyama or tsukishima, so, yamaguchi?’” kei snickers at those words, remembering that even the boys in the volleyball club don’t know about you.

“i love how they just glossed over the chances of you with either me or kageyama,” kei tsks, “and who’s osawa?”

you roll your eyes, hearing his voice tinted with a bit of jealousy when he hears other people think you’d go better with this random guy at school. “he’s a guy i partnered up with for biology. why?”

“nothing. just good to know.”

“alright, whatever.” you flip over, your chin now pressing on the backs of your hands on his chest. your grin is wide. 

“your hoodie smells like sweat,” kei says, trying to divert the topic away from your eventual accusations of jealousy.

“it’s your hoodie, asshole!” you jokingly exclaim, and he pulls the hood up to your head. you look cute, he thinks, even with his over-worn hoodie and messy hair. it’s in moments like these, when the both of you let go of the fronts you put up at school, and just live like nobody else exists. of course, it will all be over in a few hours, but that’s not to say he doesn’t secretly text you under the desk during class or that you don’t have the liberty of an extra pack of chips in your locker from the early mornings kei has practice.

“okay, but, hoodie aside, you could’ve just said i was your boyfriend.”

you like the sound of it; something so distant yet so close. so you make him repeat it again, “wait, what did you say?”

kei exhales through his mouth, “you could’ve just said i was your boyfriend.”

“would you like a boyfriend badge with that?” you tease.

“shut up. at least it sounds better than you and osawa,” he mumbles, sitting up, leaning on his arms. “not that anyone would ever know about us.”

your arms wrap around your boyfriend’s neck. his eyes stare straight into yours, and though he still feels uneasy at first, he likes the feeling of you so near him, so warm and fluttery in his stomach. it makes you hope, at least, in the way he’s looking at you, that he might want to show you off more than he lets on. 

“you know, kei, it wouldn’t hurt for some people to know about us,” you mutter, almost a whisper, and he catches your words perfectly.

“but i hate how everyone shits on couples all the time.”

“no, you just shit on couples all the time.”

he sighs defeatedly, “okay, but everyone’s just gonna be annoying when they know. like they’re shoving their noses into our business.”

“yeah, but-”

“on top of that, my mom would constantly nag me about the details of our relationship. i don’t need everyone knowing so much about us.”

you fall silent, running out of things to say. admittedly, the way he’s so quick to shut down all your reasons is getting to you.

“see? there’s no point in other people knowing.” kei’s hands run under your hoodie to caress your bare skin. he likes the way you shiver slightly from the sudden coolness of his fingers, but it does give you an idea.

“i’ll let you leave marks under my school blouse.”

“as hot as that is, no.”

you groan, slouching against his larger frame. you shift your weight onto him, making him fall back on the bed, and you settle with lying beside him. kei, like the reluctant cuddle bug you’ve found him out to be, immediately wraps an arm around your torso, like every second spent at your house that doesn’t involve his limbs intertwined with yours is a second wasted. 

you exhale through your mouth, “kei, i just wanted to be proud.”

his grip tightens.

“like, we don’t have to tell everyone what happens between us every single day, but, god damn, i don’t want to keep sneaking you in like this, or having to send you off at like, four in the morning so nobody knows you were here.”

“do you care more about what other people think than how i feel?” now you’re letting it out. you realise you’re frustrated - so fucking frustrated - that you barely even get to see him every week because of school and clubs, and that you don’t even get to save his contact on your phone under his own name in fear that people might find out. all because nobody knows.

“no, i care about-”

“i want to hold your hand in public, kei. is that too much to ask?”

you take a deep breath, sitting up against the headboard, “my friends think i bail on them all the time. i want to tell them it’s because i’m going to see my boyfriend instead of some lame excuse, kei. and i want to cheer you on at the spring high nationals in january, because you talk to me about volleyball so much and i want to see my boyfriend do what he’s been working so hard for.”

there’s a hanging silence in the air, coupled with the whirring of your heater. you can’t make eye contact with him - what if he gets mad? your fingers fiddle with the string of his hoodie, knotting it and untying the knot. and it’s only then that he sees you, gaze unsure and lips pursed, that he knows what to do.

it’s not so bad, kei thinks. he wouldn’t have to save your number under a name that’s not exactly yours, and he wouldn’t have to always rush to leave because he has “something coming up”. he can walk you to class in the mornings when you arrive after his morning practices, and it’s like he can imagine the way he’ll hold your hand and make sure everyone knows you’re with him. his train of thought might have gone a bit too far, but he can’t deny the thought of wanting to show you off as his. hell, he’s had a crush on you since your second year (though he’ll never tell you or anyone), and now that he’s got the girl, he might as well be proud of it, too.

so he comes up and kisses you. chastely. “okay.”

you give him a flick to his shoulder, earning an ‘ow’ from him. “that’s it? okay?”

“you said i could leave marks as long as it’s gonna be covered by your blouse, right?”

another finger flick, to his forehead this time, “you asshole.” but you smile. you know him.

when you pull his lips to yours, this time, he makes sure to keep you busy with his hands around your body and your hands in his hair, shirts and hoodies being pulled up to eventually be taken off. suddenly, he stops, and it’s only then that you hear something that you’ve only barely heard once before, on a warm saturday morning when it was summer, months away from today’s october.

“i really, really like you, y/n. and i’m not afraid of that.”

as he cradles you in his touch, kisses trailing down your jaw and beginning at your collarbone, you make sure to ask if he’s okay with reusing the same uniform he wore today for tomorrow. his answer slips out easily; yes.

“is it always this cold in the mornings when you practice?” you tighten the scarf around your neck, shoving your hands into your coat. kei hums in response as you two near the gym.

“to be fair, you could’ve worn tights. doesn’t help when you’re basically half naked in the winter.”

“wearing a skirt does not mean i’m half-naked, kei.” you scoff, but you do take a mental note to start dressing warmer for the coming seasons. 

“i’m just saying, the wind can just go up your skirt-”

his sentence is cut short when a louder, higher-pitched voice runs through.

“woah! tsukishima’s with a girl?” you recognise it as one of the kids in class 3-2, hinata shoyo. his orange hair isn’t exactly easy to miss. behind him is the boy you recognise as kageyama tobio, remembering the way kei would sometimes slip in a snarky mention of his name on the nights he’d call you from his training camp in tokyo. you introduce yourself to the two boys.

“why is that such a surprise to you?” kei points out sharply. a number of second and first years pass by the three of you, and they exchange casual good mornings.

“i think i’ve seen you around. are you friends with kana-san?” hinata names one of the girls in your class, and you nod, telling him you’re pretty close to her. 

"are you going to be watching us practice?” hinata asks, and as you look frantically between kei and hinata, you tell him, “yeah, is that okay for you guys?” kageyama and hinata nod.

you don’t miss it when kei takes your hand and intertwines your fingers with his. it makes you feel a little warmer in chilly weather. it makes you smile.

“go ask team captain over there,” kei shrugs, cocking his head at yamaguchi, who currently has a content smile on his face.

“so this is your girlfriend!” 

you immediately snap your head at kei, as if silently telling him no fair, how come yamaguchi knew all along?! kei shrugs, “he saw me going to your locker one day.”

you roll your eyes before introducing yourself the same way you did to hinata and kageyama, and you hear kageyama huff out, “she looks too nice for you.”

kei scoffs, “well, that’s rich coming from you. maybe you’re forgetting how-”

“alright, tsukki, let’s just go up to the clubroom first.” yamaguchi thankfully cuts in, letting hinata and kageyama go to the gym first.

“oh, y/n-san, you can go to the gym first, too, since we’re going to be changing in the clubroom. we don’t want you to wait outside, after all.” yamaguchi adds, and as you let go of kei’s hand with a reassuring smile, hinata takes it upon himself to make even more conversation with you on the way to the gym. you find his and kageyama’s company entertaining.

“if he’s you’re boyfriend, does he, like, insult you all the time?” kageyama blurts out, his words making you break into smiles.

you giggle, swatting your hands, saying no, no. it makes you realise how different he really is when he isn’t with you.

your hand wanders to the uniform bow around your collar, and you play with the ends of it, the area of your body reminding you of the hickeys you saw littered around your chest and collarbone this morning. when you told kei about it, he only shrugged with the most smug face you’ve ever seen. thank god for collared uniforms.

“so, y/n-san, how’s tsukishima as a boyfriend?” hinata chimes in.

you catch your lip in between your teeth, sucking in a soft inhale. you wonder if you could tell them that he’s the guy that buys you your favourite snacks on the way back from volleyball practice, or that he puts all your favourite songs into his daily playlist so that he can sing along with you when he comes over. still, even after the news about your relationship, you think there’s no harm in keeping some things private. so you exhale.

“he’s an asshole,” you laugh, gleeful, “such an asshole.”

[pcvensies]

*.• Si vis amari.

II. The Sun.

in which 18 year old gojo satoru is left in charge of 6 year old fushiguro megumi and 8 year old tsumiki fushiguro, with the help of 17 year old nanami suki (oc).

word count: 3280

I. The Moon.

Soft light crept through the curtains, and Suki turned around to protect her sleepy eyes, stretching her whole body as she groaned, legs shaking as she did. She scratched her head, hair falling on her eyes, and the blonde sat up, eyes getting used to the new light of the room before a voice interrupted her awakening.

“Gojo I told you you’d sleep on the floor, get the fu-”.

Kento opened his eyes, hair messy and an angry expression plastered in his face. But his sight found only his twin, instead of the white haired boy.

The blonde was as confused, looking around and finding herself in a room different to the one she had fallen asleep into.

They both got up, Suki opening the windows and Kento making the bed.

“Though you were taking the couch”.

“I did”, she answered, looking through the window, rolling her eyes at the thought of Satoru changing places with her.

The blonde walked to her bedroom, opening the door to a sleeping Fushiguro on her bed, the kid snorting peacefully. She closed the door again, and this time walked to the living room.

It was empty, and so was the kitchen, and Suki felt her stomach sink. Had Gojo simply left them with the kid? It didn’t sound like him, but neither did this whole situation. He was acting very strangely, honestly, maybe…

She shook her head, shaking the thought away, and walking to the kitchen to make breakfast.

“Any idea where Gojo is?”, she asked out loud, making coffee.

“Nope”, her brother replied, rubbing his eyes as he sat at the kitchen table, “But he better be back to get the kid”.

Suki poured two coffees, one with milk and the other black, and sat in front of her brother, as he opened a bag of croissants that rested on the table.

“Can you get the juice from the fridge?”, Kento asked, earning a groan from his twin.

“Could have said before I sat down, couldn’t you Ken?”, she complained, as her hand found the fridge door.

Stuck with a magnet, a note caught her attention: “Call me when u wake up, we have something to pick up. Bring hedgehog kid! -Toru xx”. The girl sighed, throwing the note to her brother’s head as she sat back down with the juice box.

Kento read it and didn’t bother asking, he simply poured two glasses of juice, croissant hanging from his mouth as he did so.

The twins had breakfast in silence, still waking up, throwing glances at each other that they understood like words.

“This is crazy”.

“I mean, it’s Gojo we’re talking about. Of course it’s crazy”.

Kento snorted softly.

“You sure it’s a good idea? You can handle it, Sue?”.

The girl looked away, rolling her eyes in the process, and got up to prepare a cup of chocolate milk, ignoring her brother’s worried glances.

But Kento couldn’t ignore his worry. His sister and himself had been through enough, and the past months had been very rough on Suki. He didn’t want her to put any more pressure on herself, with all the missions they were giving her.

He couldn’t ask her again before Suki had already left the room, opening the door of her bedroom again, and walking to open the blinds slightly.

The sun filled the room with small squares of light, just enough to allow the blonde to locate everything around her.

She crouched next to the bed, gently shaking the kid, calling him softly as he started to open his eyes, covered by his messy raven hair.

“Good morning, Fushiguro… Breakfast is ready, and I’ll run you a bath. We’ll meet up Gojo later”.

The kid rubbed his eyes as he sat up, looking at his surroundings in an initial post-sleep confusion, but soon nodding at her words.

Suki noticed he had one of her old plushies next to him, a fluffy panda whose left ear had been lost to a dog in the park, but she didn’t say anything, simply getting up again and fully opening blinds and windows this time.

She made the bed as the kid left, and closed the door to put on some clothes. She then did her make up (there’s no reason why a strong sorcerer shouldn’t look good, if death is always around the corner anyways), and braided her hair, before heading to the bathroom to prepare the bath for the kid, and brush her teeth.

It wasn’t that different from her usual morning routine, she realised, and it hadn’t even been that much work to get Megumi to get up. He maybe wasn’t the sweetest kid, but he was as well behaved as one could expect.

And, being honest with herself, as he walked in the bathroom with sleepy eyes, and chocolate milk all over his face, Suki didn’t even mind having him around that much.

She put some towels in the towel warmer, left the kid’s clothes in the sink, and exited the bathroom to pick up her car keys, and her phone from the couch, eyes opening wide at her new lockscreen: a selfie Gojo had taken with her sleeping figure that night.

She unlocked it, searching for his name on her contact list, while Kento washed the dishes in the kitchen, the sound of the water making the girl walk to the balcony.

“Oh good morning, Susu”, Satoru greeted her through the phone.

“Morning, Gojo. Fushiguro is taking a bath, once he’s finished and ready we’ll go… What’s all this about? You didn’t stay for breakfast”.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about that. Needed to do something first thing in the morning”, he simply said, avoiding the main question, “I’ll send you an address, yeah? And we’ll meet there, let's say… in an hour?”.

“Mhm, sounds good to me. Want us to bring something? I’m taking the car”.

“Stop to get something sweet for breakfast… It’s very important- no, crucial, to the plan”.

Suki rolled her eyes, but agreed, and she hung up when the bathroom door opened. She chuckled softly at the kid, wet hair falling on his eyes, and put her phone in her back pocket to grab the towel from his hands.

The kid looked up at her through the wet strands, like a cat who’s been caught by the rain, and Suki threw it over his head, drying his hair gently.

“If you don’t dry your hair well, you'll catch a cold, kid. And it will look weird”.

“I don’t care how it looks… Are we going to get the big baby now?”, the boy said, referring to Satoru, and earning a laugh from Kento.

“Yeah, Gojo wants us to go to an address… Here”, the girl explained, showing the kid the message, “We’ll go in my car and-”.

The kid’s face had changed, and Suki stopped talking, confused. He looked away from her and the phone, his energy switching to a weary one.

Just then, the blonde girl looked back at the text message, clicking on the address. It was a primary school.

“Fushiguro… Do you know why Gojo is sending us to a school?”.

“It’s not my school, I was kicked out…”, even his voice was different, “But, uhm-...”

“It’s my sister’s”.

( . . . )

The white haired boy waited outside, back pressed against the wall of the school’s entrance.

Mothers and older sisters were starting to gather around, waiting for their kids and siblings outside, some of their eyes caught by the handsome boy that stood unbothered under the sun, scrolling down his phone.

He looked up, blue eyes shielded by his round sunglasses meeting a pair of brown ones. The girl blushed, looking away immediately, and Satoru smirked as he looked around, looking for Nanami’s car this time.

A black Citroen C3 took the corner, and Satoru waved at it, signaling Nanami to park in front of where he was.

He put his phone in his pocket, followed by his hands, and he started walking towards the car. But then he felt it, Six Eyes sending him a very clear message right there: Nanami was angry. Very angry.

“Gojo Satoru, how could you do this to us?!”, she yelled, followed by the younger Fushiguro.

Gojo opened his eyes in surprise, knowing exactly what she was doing. They wanted to embarrass him.

“I work TWO jobs just to keep us all going, I offered to help you with YOUR mistress’ kid after SHE left YOU, and you don’t even have the guts to tell me… there’s ANOTHER KID?!”.

All the girls that just minutes before eyed him up and down, now looked at him with disgust, and Gojo felt his cheeks grow redder by second.

“Nanami-san has done so much for us, and you still lied to her, you’re gross!”, Megumi added, pulling up his best distressed kid act.

At the entrance of the school, a teacher waited with the few kids that hadn’t left with their horrified parents already. Behind a tall, blonde boy, a small girl with a dark ponytail looked at Megumi with confusion.

Megumi ran to her, the teacher recognising the problematic child as her brother, and didn’t bother asking who the screaming teenagers were. She had heard about the Fushiguro sibling’s parents, so she wasn’t surprised nor doubted that everything the blonde was yelling was true.

It didn’t seem too strange for Tsumiki’s mother to have had an affair and fled, and it was known by everyone at the school that Megumi’s father had been out of the picture for almost a year now.

She did, however, feel bad about that poor girl. She looked truly hurt, and having to take care of a kid like Fushiguro…

“But Suki I-“, Gojo tried to get her to shut up, eyes apologising with urgency.

“Get in the car Satoru, I can’t even- I can’t even look at you right now. Let’s go kids”.

Megumi and his sister were soon sitting in the back of the car, followed by Suki, and lastly by Gojo.

The younger boy looked at Suki through the mirror, and the girl met his eyes, before they crashed into laughs, much to Gojo’s displeasure.

When they calmed down, and Suki apologised to Gojo with the cinnamon rolls she had bought, Megumi explained the situation to his sister. How their father wasn’t going to come back, and neither was their mother.

Tsumiki was very scared at the beginning, for the both of them, but when the pretty blonde senior pulled up at their apartment, and called Megumi by his name, she felt very relieved.

Megumi never let anyone call him by his first name, as he didn’t like it. Only she herself was allowed, as she didn’t really remember her mother or his father being around that much anyways. But if he let that girl do it too, then she was truly trustworthy.

“Megumi, why didn’t you tell me about Tsumiki, hm?”, she asked, and the little girl felt shy under her intimidating eyes.

“I dunno”, he shrugged a little, inexpressive eyes on hers, “I didn’t think I’d stay with you for too long, she’d have been okay with the neighbours until I got ba-”.

Tsumiki gasped when the blonde girl put her hand on Megumi’s head, messing his hair. But to her surprise, her brother didn’t do anything more than sighing and rolling his eyes, starting to walk towards the building, followed by the girl.

She looked at them with big eyes, then up at the white haired boy, who gave her a big smile.

“Did you know Toji?”, the little girl asked him, as they too started walking.

“Mhm. Before he decided to leave forever, he asked me to keep an eye on ‘Gumi. You know, ‘cause he can be kiiiinda problematic sometimes”.

The little girl laughed, nodding shyly, and the boy’s smile grew. At least this one liked him.

They walked to the apartment door, slightly open as Megumi was inside, while Suki stood in front of the door next to it, talking to an old woman.

She bent down, hands pressed together, as she thanked the lady who looked at her with a sweet, warm smile.

“Thank you so much for taking care of them these past months, Hosho-san. My husband and I will take on from here... We found out a few days ago about what happened to Fushiguro-san and his wife… and we came all the way from Kioto just yesterday. I hope they haven’t been too much work, and my husband is more than willing to help with any economic matter that they can have caused to your family”.

Gojo smirked at her words. Suki’s ability to create stories to get them out of trouble had been saving their asses for years now, and it never stopped amazing him. Plus, pretending that Fushiguro senior was a family friend, and they were a young marriage taking the kids, was the perfect story to keep away anyone suspicious of them.

“Oh, no, no, dear. They’re wonderful, please don’t worry about anything. It’s more than enough to know that someone will be taking proper care of them from now on”.

Suki nodded and gave the old woman a smile, before Gojo wrapped his arm around her, chin resting on top of her head.

“Megumi is already picking up his things, baby. Why don’t you go help him and Tsumiki while I thank Hosho-san here?”.

He also gave the lady a smile, a charming, sweet one, and the woman blushed softly with a chuckle. Suki smiled, rolling her eyes as she walked in, leaving the white haired boy to continue adding to their story so she could help the kids without any other neighbour coming around.

Tsumiki was sitting in the living room, a yellow bag with white flowers already prepared on the floor. It didn’t take too much for anyone to realise Megumi had prepared it for her, as he walked in first and was still starting his.

The blonde girl sighed softly, sitting on the couch next to the little girl, who put her hands on her own lap, holding them together to hide the way they were slightly shaking.

Suki wasn’t sure about Megumi’s plan, using his first name so Tsumiki would see her as someone of trust, but at least they had found her.

“Tsumiki-”.

“Thank you for taking us in, Nanami-san!”, the little girl almost yelled, head down.

Nanami looked at her with soft eyes, a little smile plastered on her face as she nodded.

“Would you like me to braid your hair like mine, while we wait? I think it’d look good on you, Tsumiki”.

Her hair was almost matted, knots making it impossible to even try to brush it. The little girl sobbed when the scissors started snapping, balls of blonde hair falling at her feet.

The also young boy sighed deeply as he continued to cut his sister's hair, both of them eight by the time.

“It’ll grow again, healthier”.

“I look like a boy!”, the little girl sobbed harder.

Her brother sighed, holding her in his arms, and shook his head.

“When it grows again, I’ll learn how to braid it okay? I promise. You won’t need mom to do it. I will do it”.

The little girl sniffed softly, rubbing her eyes with her little shaky hands, but nodded.

“Thank you, Ken”.

The little girl looked up at her with bright eyes, nodding her head fast and excitedly, and Suki signaled her to go get a hair brush and a ribbon, which the little girl ran to do.

Her hair was lighter than Megumi’s, not exactly black, but a dark shade of brown, very straight and shiny. She was too young to have any heat damage, and Suki brushed it carefully, as the younger girl looked at their reflection on the TV while sitting as still as she could.

From Megumi’s bedroom, Gojo stood against the door frame, moving his eyes from the kid to the girls. Suki had managed to calm down the little girl immediately, and she had gotten Megumi to collaborate with her all day.

She had a weird talent he didn’t have. He could make Tsumiki laugh, and could get Megumi to follow him, but he couldn’t get them to relax, to trust like Nanami had in a night and barely an hour.

Satoru opened his mouth to speak, just in time for Suki’s phone to start ringing. On top of the screen, a name popped up: Kitamura Nagisa.

Suki finished tying the ribbon to the little girl’s braid, and just then realised she had forgotten her plans for the day, a wave of anxiety hitting her like a truck.

“Your phone’s ringing, Suk- Oh”, Gojo spoke, watching her sit there, blocked, phone in hand, “What are you doing?”.

The blonde girl simply signaled him to shut up, taking a deep breath before picking up.

“Hey, Nanami”, the boy’s voice was raspy, and Suki sighed softly at it, ears turning red just by the sound, “Are you okay? I sent you like twelve messages, are we still meeting for lunch? I’ve been waiting here for fifteen minutes now”.

Suki bit her lip, looking at the kids, both of them ready now as Megumi walked out of the room with his bag.

“I- Uh… I am so sorry, Kitamura, I should have called you but something important came up, and I… I forgot completely”.

The boy chuckled softly, Suki’s embarrassment noticeable in her voice.

“No worries, Nanami… Is everything okay? Anything I can help you with?”.

“Hm… actually just… a family friend passed away!”, she spit out, and in front of her, Gojo raised an eyebrow, not understanding why the Suki was so nervous.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Nanami, I had no idea”.

Suki sighed. She didn’t want to lie to Nagisa. But she definitely couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Thank you, it’s just… He had two kids, and he didn’t have any more family… So it was either Kento and I , or my parents taking them in…”, she almost whispered the last part, avoiding Satoru’s confused gaze, “So you know, we kind of had to do it. A friend and I are helping them with their stuff right now”.

All she got for a minute was a hum, and silence, her heart beating faster than ever before inside her ribcage.

“Why don’t we have dinner together then, yes? I’ll bring take out, and I’ll help you get everything ready”.

Gojo frowned at his words. He had heard Nanami and Shoko talk about that boy, Kitamura, before. But he didn’t know the blonde girl and him were close like that, to have secrets that he apparently didn’t know.

It’s not like it angered him, or anything, he’d explain, it just annoyed him that Suki hadn’t told him. Yeah, that was it, and that’s that.

“You don’t mind? Kento will be home…”.

“And so will I! Is it a problem, Kitamura, huh?”, Satoru’s voice rose over Suki’s, getting a death glare from the girl.

“Not a problem at all. Any friend of Nanami is of mine”, the boy replied, and one could feel the smirk in his voice, “See you tonight then, Suki. You too, dude”.

And with that, Nagisa hung up, leaving a cold ambience in the room between Suki and Satoru, that made even the kids shiver.

n/a: i did say slowburn and i intend on keeping my word thank u v much SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG ON UPDATING :( the ending was shit but im SO TIRED forgive me ily <3

taglist: @expectoscamander @tsun444mi @helvegen-s @theworldis-ahead @evans-dejong @crzyinluve