#only to find out it's the bastard blitzwing

[mrmeepsmadmind]

smthing smthing rlly showed those fujos

[saxandviolins77]

what are your favorite episodes of g1 featuring the constructicons?

Can I make a rank? I'm gonna make a rank!

Only episodes where the Constructicons are absolutely essential to the plot, if they are only in the background or only have a throwaway line it doesn't count!

From worst to best:

7.Secret of Omega Supreme

I know, I know, controversial! This episode is truly more about the titular character than the Constructicons and it introduces my least favorite origin for them. Not a bad episode and it has some cool scenes involving my boy Devastator, but eh... Don't care!

6.The Autobot Run

This episode has a laughably bad premise, even for G1! But dare I say, the character interactions and quips save this from total oblivion, and the Constructicons aren't an exception to that! So many great interactions and lines (Long Haul saying "Finally! We're gonna make little Autobots out of big ones AHAHAHA!" and "at last, conflict!", how can you not love it?). Devastator also has a great fighting sequence! You know, great as in stupidly fun, like him hitting the Autobots as if they were bowling pins. I remember rewatching the scene where they de-combined Devastator over and over again, for some reason I was obsessed with the delivery there.

5.The Core

This episode is shit from the ass in terms of plot, like... We already have a better episode... With the same "plan of the week". I just wish this one focused more on the "Devastator is now an Autobot weapon" side of the plot and was better paced.

That being said, I still adore the Constructicons here! Their interactions are awesome and I love how this established them as friends, like... Waow... I also adore how big of a focus Devy has, he even gets to save the day!

4.City of Steel

The episode where the Constructicons shit-talk each other, make an alligator, and Devastator does King Kong. Perfect.

Not only do I love their banter but this episode has my favorite Scrapper scene: him forgetting the word "damage" for no reason... Like WHY? Love my ADHD king. This is also the episode where Mixy has a stutter... More than perfect.

3.Heavy Metal War

Introduction episode, what can I say?

Despite them being the secondary plot, I very much adore them here. This episode establishes Scrapper as their leader AND introduces the Dinobots as one of their rivals (their superior rivals if I say so myself.) I also love how Devastator comes in as a surprise, like WOW they combine into a big robot, how novel, I'll buy a toy! I also adore how they defeat Devy by making him shit his pants in fear of another combiner... Girl, you're so pathetic...

2.Triple takeover

My favorite G1 episode... And it just so happens to have the Constructicons there! What a joy!

I absolutely love traitorous Constructicons as a concept, these guys do not care about Megatron at all ahahah.

This is also one of the episodes where we have Scrapper building a THRONE out of near-dead Autobots and sitting on it... You're awesome, Scrappy...

Of course, the best part is the Constructicons busting in on Blitzwing and demanding him to own his part of the deal... And the fucking idiot curses off the six guys who turn into a giant robot... Great stuff.

Also... How did Megatron defeat Devastator? Is he that pathetic? My big loser is actually a loser?

1.The Master Builders

THE PERFECT CONSTRUCTICON-FOCUSED EPISODE! If you're going to watch something with them, watch this one.

I love moody Grapple and reserved Hoist, such a cute duo of characters already AND THEN you put the Constructicons with them? Perfect!

This is also the episode where the Constructicons are shown to be two-faced bastards who change on the turn of a dime, and well, I find this better than brain-washing, sue me. I also love their personalities here, cheery Scrapper casually convincing Grapple to let them work on his project, and then acting the same after they decide to betray Grapple on Megatron's command... Wtf is your problem.

I also adore the Constructicons making Grapple do their work for them, ahahah. They remind me of older engineers/technicians messing with the new guy at work for kicks and giggles.

I also love how much of fuckups the Constructicons are... Good job on conspiring behind Megatron's back then immediately getting caught red-handed and making up a fucking lie on the spot, you're terrible.

Devastator is also at his peak here. This is the episode that inspired my characterization of him... He just messes with the Autobots and is outsmarted by them and defeated by the Constructicons' own work... The irony... Is rich. Like, how much of a jerk can he be?? He laughs at Optimus Prime, he dismisses Cliffjumper and he SMIRKS when he falls on the ground and somehow grabs warpath.

I need him dead. Immediately.

[birthdaycakeplate]

same anon asking for Blitzbee fic recommendations, tried to message you but unfortunately your account is set to only people you follow doing that.

but hmmm, I'd say my personal taste in fics are actually slow burns, I really like fics that focus on Blitzwing and Bee forming an unlikely relationship based on their 'home lives' in a sense of it, where neither are understood and often viewed as annoyances/loose canons leading both to a feeling of isolation and a mild desperation/willingness to connect with anyone even at the risk of 'treason' for interacting with the other side.

I also enjoy the progression for Blitzwing of seeing Bumblebee as a harmless amusement to him somehow becoming a bit of a hyper focus that causes the big bad con to develop some empathy and *gasp* morals.

Meanwhile Bee is just a cocky little bastard who refuses to accept Blitzwing as the actual threat he is and then feelings are caught when his view of the world is shifted and he finds out Decepticons are also actually just people with complex feelings and motivations (also bonus if break down of autobots 'all warbuilds are evil because' bs is broken down)

I realize now I'm rambling so apologies its just a very fun ship to babble about.

If I was to ask for any fic, if you could set one in your Nemesis AU that be amazing, the size difference you give in that is spectacular like omg I stare so politely.

Also the concept is just very fun to me and I'd love to see that au world expanded.

As for spicy content I don't really have any ideas? Sorry I'm actually terrible at writing it my only preferences are Blitz top and preferably consensual.

for ease if we keep talking like this I'll sign off as

Curiosity

GOD, of course I invited you to talk with me and then blocked you from doing that elekkeem 🌝 I think I fixed my messaging where I’ll get your stuff now, if you’d like to try again 😭 I swear I’m always this dysfunctional.

But anyway, your message here is good, true, andfantastic. I CRY. Your view on the ship is perfect and pure D,8

I LOVE when Blitzwing is stunned when his desire to squash the useless yellow gnat and be done with him is suddenly evaporated by the sudden realization this guy is slowly becoming the only thing in his life fun and full of life (and kind of precious if he’s being honest, ok???). Because their chemistry is crazy- they’re both wrekcless little freaks when left to their own devices, but full time loyal, fucked up little creatures to the ones closest to them. The handful Blitzwing can afford to let in to his life, even if ‘friends’ isn’t the word he’d use, and the few Bumblebee can make real connections with, when he’s a mischievous ant with a complex to make ‘something great’ of himself.

But he already IS great and bad boy Blitzwing needs to make it his immediate life’s goal to get that through to him and give him lots of love. (I ramble, too, you’re in good company)

I’m bad at stating my thoughts, I get overwhelmed when it’s my own emotions. But I typed and retyped something along the lines of how I’m noticing we have lots of similarities here in terms of what our favorite flavor of Blitzbee is 🩷🩷🩷 I bet lots of ppl who read this would agree with you and appreciate you throwing out there the love language of these complete messes of men✨

Does that mean my attempt to translate these tastes into fiction beside my ideas will make for good reading and also provide you a happy source of top Blitz/blitzbee? God, I HOPE so. You deserve it and I’m going to try.

I have the first chapter half written, because-

OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE MY AUTBOTS JOIN THE NEMESIS AU STUFF EKEKKEE

OoooOOOHhhh aAHHHHHHHH

I SCREEEEEEAM 💕💕💕 thank you???!!! That means so much to ME and makes me insanely happy, because I was so surprised when you said that, and I REALIZED how amazing it is to hear a thing like that. That I’ve got a thing going I didn’t imagine would become liked enough for a fic request for it.

I’m hoping to finish this first chapter by next Friday. Probably sooner than that? But I’m scared life won’t allow it. Thanks for your messages💕

(The other anons who messaged me, too, about some top Blitzwing fic stuff, I see you and I’m elated to hear from so many of you, thank you✨)

[cleverthylacine]

Thylacine Robot Husband Slate

Astrotrain vs. Blaster Astrotrain. I will never marry someone who wants to kill Soundwave, and I like to travel in style.

Bluestreak vs. Skids Skids, because he would learn everything you need him to know about you.

Blurr vs. Misfire Misfire, because he's an incredibly sweet person, and he also won't come 3 times before you do and then pass out.

Brainstorm vs. Nightbeat Nightbeat, because I feel that he would try “telling you he’s interested in you” before resorting to building a time machine and trying to kill Megatron.

Breakdown vs. Ten Breakdown; they're both himbos but Breakdown is less insistent on getting his way and communicates better.

Bumblebee vs. Chromedome For my sanity I am going with Bumblebee, provided he is not the asshole Bumblebee from either Earthspark or TFA. I do not want to die horribly and then become Episode 5 of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” and also I don’t approve of mnemosurgery and Chromedome is also the guy who tried to lobotomise Soundwave at the Institute so fuck that guy.

Cosmos vs. Crankcase Crankcase. While he is not nearly as “nice” as Cosmos, he also knows what he likes and wants and does not retract his trust at the first sign of trouble.

Cyclonus vs. Dominus Ambus Cyclonus, because he can fall in love with people who are not his slaves. I also don’t trust anyone who can blend in with the DJD enough to work with them for years and years before getting caught. He wasn’t a medic like Nickel. He had to do that job.

Censere vs. Megatron Censere, because he is kind, and also because Megatron is still obsessed with  Orion Pax and would only be fun to marry if you could get both of them.

Depth Charge vs. Ultra Magnus Depth Charge knows what fun is and can even say the word without flinching.

Dinobot vs. Ratchet Ratchet, because he has an unerring moral compass and takes care of what he loves.

First Aid vs. Perceptor This is a difficult choice because I love science guys. In the end I chose Perceptor. I think First Aid would find me rather vanilla. If you’re more like Tex than me, though, Aid is your mech.

Fulcrum vs. Blitzwing The real question here is “how many husbands do you actually want?” I think polyandry could be fun, but not with the Three Faces of Blitzwing.

Hoist vs. Drag Strip Drag Strip. At least he's pretty.

Impactor vs. Mixmaster Mixmaster, because I’d rather have a husband who makes things, than a husband whose goal in life is to break things as impressively and thoroughly as possible, which is what Impactor does; also, he grew up in a mine with Megatron and he still joined the Autobots, wtf.

Knock Out vs. Powerglide Knock Out, because he moved to another planet to make his conjunx happy.

Meteorfire vs. Alpha Trion Meteorfire, because he knows how to have fun and can just say what he means.

Optimus Prime vs. Soundwave If you think there’s anyone I would choose over Soundwave you haven’t been reading this blog very long. If you think OP has a chance over Soundwave, you have clearly just now arrived here through tags or “recommended for you”.

Optimus Primal vs. Drift Drift, because he's so fucking beautiful, and even when he’s a wreck, he’s interesting.

Prowl vs. Swerve Swerve is sweet and will binge TV with me. Prowl thinks All Cops Are Bastards is an ideal to aspire to.

Rattrap vs. Starscream Starscream, because Starscream would be a difficult husband, but he’s an even more difficult boss, and you probably don’t want to deal with being married to someone who actually works for him.

Rewind vs. Hot Shot Hot Shot is entertaining. Also, if I disappear, I want my husband to hire the best detective in the universe, not watch snuff films obsessively to see if I am in them.

Rung vs. Predaking Predaking, because dragons are that fucking cool.

Rodimus Prime vs. Cheetor Rodimus, because Cheetor’s executive function is even worse than his, and I do not need any help making rash decisions, losing track of time and getting sidetracked.

Sky-Byte vs. Swindle I’m going with king shark here. Sky-Byte would write you poetry and pay for your dates. I feel like Swindle would be hot in a sleazy way and a great candidate for the fuck thing rather than the marry thing, but Sky-Byte would feed your ego and I would like that a lot.

Snarl vs. Shockwave Snarl. Unless you really want to be one of Shockwave’s experiments.

Spinister vs. Bulkhead A difficult choice. Bulkhead is stable and caring but Spinister is endlessly entertaining.

Star Saber vs. Smokescreen Smokescreen, because he doesn't have a vibranium rod up his aft.

Tailgate vs. Jazz Jazz, because he is smooth, chill, and sexy. Tailgate is cute but not sexy. He also makes dramatic painful decisions about relationships based on his terrible self-esteem without considering his partners’ likely wishes.

Tarantulas vs. Rhinox Tarantulas, and this is 100% the fault of @breakdownsbuttlights.

Thundercracker vs. Fortress Maximus Thundercracker writes fanfiction and screenplays and he dotes on his dog. What more do you want?  Meanwhile, Fort Max was the warden at Garrus-9 before Overlord took over, and even after seeing everything that had happened to Grimlock, he still wanted to throw him back in jail when he found him with the Scavengers. And he only wanted to capture the Scavengers just because he thought they were Decepticons and therefore had to have done something wrong, and he can’t keep from petting the beastformers no matter how many times they say not to.

Wheeljack vs. Thunderclash Wheeljack is full of fun and mad science. Thunderclash is full of himself and supported Getaway’s mutiny.

Whirl vs. Tracks Tracks, because Whirl is exciting, but not in a good way, and you’re not as tough as either Cyclonus or Tailgate. Tracks is also a pretty good dancer.

Ambulon vs. Dreadwing Beachcomber vs. Rampage Fireflight vs. Quickstrike Heatwave vs. Hardshell Metroplex vs. Sideswipe Seaspray vs. Runamuck Springer vs. Skyfire Wasp vs. Chase No opinion. Campaign to me for your choice.

[erimeows]

could I request some hcs for a shy autobot reader w a crush on starscream? maybe they try super hard to hide it but it’s like,, blatantly obvious and he teases them/gets suggestive abt it to fluster them? if not that’s totally cool and I hope u have a good day! tyy :)

I have a Starscream x Reader x Megatron piece in the drafts, but I've been meaning to write an individual Starscream piece for a while now, so thank you for this request! Also really into smug Starscream with a shy s/o, perfect dynamic. So yeah, here it is, hope you enjoy!

The first time you meet Starscream is when you’re on earth. You’re a part of Optimus’s repair team along with him, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Ratchet, and Prowl; like Ratchet, you’re a medic, mainly tagging along to do both space bridge repairs and fix up any of the other bots’ injuries. During that first fight over the All Spark on earth, you don’t really get to interact with Starscream in full, but you do meet him briefly and are too panicked over your first actual battle (since you’re just, you know, a repair bot/medic and not a full blown soldier; most you had was some cadet training like Bulkhead and Bumblebee) to think much of him.

But then, you interact with him the next few times, and uh... It’s bad. You notice immediately that he’s physically attractive; tall, sleek build pretty paint-job, a scratchy but charming voice and way of talking, strong servos but long pretty digits and slender legs, glowing vermillion optics that feel like they’re peering into your soul... Yeah, it’s over for you. You’ve never really had the time for relationships with work and everything, so you don’t have any experience and are horrid at hiding the little crush that you quickly develop.

It’s horrible. Any time Starscream is present during battles, you get flustered and fumble over yourself. You can’t fight him and can’t fight anyone else when he’s within eye/ear-shot, so you’re usually in charge of helping evacuate humans or dealing with Blitzwing/Lugnut etc. 

Starscream, of course, notices it. He’s an older and well-seasoned bot, and though it’s very rare that anyone is actually interested in him, he’s seen enough relationships in his day to be able to pick up on a crush. His natural reaction, out loud, is “HAHA, of course you have a crush on the GLORIOUS, GORGEOUS Starscream! Why, it only makes sense that I’ve charmed such a pretty little Autobot without even trying, who could resist my charm?”. On the inside... He’s seriously flattered. You’re beautiful, you’re cute, from the glimpses he’s gotten, he likes your personality, and he thinks you’re just... Very good. However, he doesn’t really pursue a relationship with you at first as you seem rather righteous and he is rather devious. He won’t admit it, but he likes you too much to cause you any trouble with the other Autobots. He’s just happy that you like him so much.

It turns into a lot of teasing during battles and gets to a point where Starscream will purposefully pick fights with the Autobots just to see/spar with you, with no actual damage happening.

“Oh, my, if it isn’t my not-so-secret admirer again! Why don’t you try to take me down without the help of your friends this time?”

He likes touching you as much as he can in a rather fleeting manner; servos over your lower back, on your hands, face in your face, optics locked with yours, etc. He’s just very touch-starved and enthusiastic about the fact that someone is interested in him, but he won’t admit it. 

The other Autobots find it pretty humorous or are annoyed by it. Ratchet and Prowl roll their eyes at it and don’t get what you see in him, Bulkhead just feels bad for you, Optimus is very confused but always reminds you of the fact that he’s there for you if you ever want to vent about your “unfortunate circumstances”, and Bumblebee isn’t above trying to set you up with Starscream/making you two interact with each other whenever the opportunity arises because he thinks it’s cute/funny.

Eventually, things get a little less light-hearted when Megatron gets his body back and hires Lockdown to kidnap you. The main reason is that even though Megatron and his Decepticons usually do a great job of beating the hell out of the Autobots, you’re always there to fix them up, and that’s very inconvenient to him personally. So, Lockdown kidnaps you and takes you to Megatron, only for Starscream to... Come rescue you from the cell you’re locked in during the night?

You’re just sitting there, waiting for an Autobot when Starscream bursts into the room; “Why, if it isn’t my admirer, waiting for me to come rescue them.”

“Um... Starscream? What are you doing here?”

“What do you think, you glitch? Rescuing you, now quiet down before Megatron catches us!”

You’re super confused, unsure if Starscream has had a processor injury or if he has some other more devious plan with you, but he breaks you out of your cage and allows you to climb on his back so he can give you a piggy back ride until you’re out of the cave and in an open enough area for him to transform into his seeker mode, only to get caught by Megatron and Megatron alone while the others are recharging.

The two break out into an argument, fighting while you’re still on Starscream’s back; you’re trying to assist your crush by blasting Megatron from your position despite being decently injured from your battle with Lockdown, which is honestly the only reason Starscream is managing against the much more powerful Decepticon. You two work... Surprisingly well together, and in the midst of the argument, Megatron is spewing insults, calling Starscream incompetent, foolish, stupid, a failure, etc. 

Naturally, despite your shy nature, you hate hearing Starscream insulted as you’ve developed a weird sort of attachment to him, so you fire back; “Hey, he isn’t any of that! I know you don’t realize it because you’re an evil bastard, b-but he’s trying his best, and he has better ideas than you do- wasn’t he the one who blew you up?”

Megatron gets so angry that Starscream manages to escape with you, and he transforms into his vehicle mode with you riding in his cockpit... Ha.

Anyways, the two of you fly back to your base around the time that the sun is rising, but by the time you get there and Starscream transforms back into his robot form, you notice that Megatron beat him pretty bad and- oh, Primus, he’s unconscious. Yeah... 

Against your better judgement, you fix him up the best you can outside behind your teammates backs, knowing that if you brought him back to Ratchet, he’d be getting repaired while in stasis cuffs and then sent back with the Elite Guard to be imprisoned on Cybertron.

You sneak off into the forest and wait for him to wake up... Only for him to pull you into a heated kiss the second he does, thank you for being his “knight in shining armor”, and then transforming and flying away.

You return to base a shaking, blushing mess, and when asked about what happened, you tell your teammates (of which only a few are there, since the others are out looking for you); after Lockdown took you, Starscream came to rescue you, dropped you off by the base, and flew away, leaving out the part where you could have captured him. Ratchet fixes you up and gets onto you for “being smitten with such a troublesome mech”. 

And from there forms a beautiful relationship of you and Starscream pretending to be against each other in public the best you can despite your blatant crushes, with Starscream always teasing you and you being too shy to rebut, but secretly helping each other and sneaking off to meet up whenever you can. 

[pastelpaperplanes]

Can you please tell us more about the Elita’s death in the cops and mobs Au? Btw absolutely love your ideas and your brilliant art

(First off TY!!! I’ve worked hard on their outfits and backstories so that rly means a lot 👉👈💕)

There’s a few things from tfa canon that are definitely a BIT harder to translate over into a 1920’s/50s esque AU, that being like why can Blitzwing STILL have three faces when he’s not a triple changer?? Or how does the Longarm/Shockwave thing work out without shapeshifting?? Or Why do the insecticons exists without Blackarachnia’s genetic splicing?? Or like Why does Blackarachnia look so different from Elita when space spiders didn’t attack her??

So to kinda make Blackarachnia’s changes work with the already sort of steampunkesque incorporated within the AU, I’m gonna say that it was the toxic chemicals that exploded in the warehouse that caused her altered looks! (Pls take this w a grain of salt! Ofc gaining multiple EYES is definitely far fetched but for the sake of plot and keeping her pretty tfa design intact, we’re just gonna nod our heads at CHEMICALS)

At the very least, when the drug warehouse exploded in a nasty hellfire of practically toxic fumes, her biology would’ve been altered in some way allowing for the purplish skin, terrifying and gross enhanced sight, and ofc her immediate curiosity in pushing the boundaries in her own past chemistry studies to now something FAR MORE sinister and deadly.

THAT BEING SAID more on Elita’s death:

So as I mentioned in a few of her tags, Op, Elita, and Sentinel all go way back all the way to their private school days. Op was ofc always the third wheel while Sentinel and Elita had a constant off and on relationship.

To be honest, Sentinel and Elita only engaged because Elita gave him an ultimatum or she’d leave him for good, Sentinel ofc took the bait and Elita now has to sit a think about how it took a threat to get someone to commit to loving her.

Elita has always had attachment issues from an emotionally neglectful childhood (Ultra was a young parent, her was immediately married off by his father asap to hide Elita’s origins. Ultra suffered from some really bad postpartum depression and hardly wanted anything to do with Elita, poor girl. Her Stepsire knew she was a bastard, he didn’t want much to do with her either) So Elita has always had to beg for attention, unfortunately her relationship with Sentinel was no different.

Elita of course despite having an emotionally neglectful childhood still had her taste for adventure. While Sentinel and her definitely had their issues, he never made her or Optimus’ lives boring. The three stuck together after graduation and practically spent their early adult lives bumbling around. Elita found her passion in the chemistry field, and both Sentinel and Op were now cops together at the time of the accident.

Sentinel, being a complete idiot he was, dragged his partner AND fiancé on that unapproved response to a tip on Mob activity. Elita was eager to help of course, the warehouse held fascinating narcotics that could land her name some fame (and hopefully some praise from her distant Carrier) if she could say she aided in the break of the Mob’s case.

But ofc, Sentinel fooled around where he shouldn’t be, triggered the fail-safe self destruction of the entire warehouse with his fiancé far too deep in the building to be reached in time by Optimus OR Sentinel, then blamed Optimus for the whole shebang despite OPTIMUS being the one who had to be pulled back from reentering the flames, from there we know exactly how that turned out for Optimus.

Elita was left to burn by her best friend and fiancé. She had been left again and in the worst way possible this time, she was alone and they had abandoned her when she need them most. The chemicals wracked her brain and she passed out before finding a proper escape. You can imagine her surprise when she woke up to find the small, but well know gang The Insecticons tending to her.

Lost, hurt, betrayed, and left with no option but to bury herself and her past, Elita took on the new Name Blackarachnia when the gang welcomed her into their group. As disorganized as they were and despite Elita being by far the youngest and least experienced in the gang, they desperately needed a leader with some brains. Blackarachnia took the crown and has been their best Miss Boss they could hope for.

BA has her life together now. It may not have been the pitucre perfect one she’d hoped for with a husband, perhaps a home of her own with a few little ones running around her feet, but she now is her own boss. SHE makes the calls and has complete control of her gang, all the while putting a grand ol middle finger to her dear Chief of Police Carrier and ex fiancé by fueling the Mob’s weapons supply.

Blackarachnia is surround by her doting, stupid, but powerful lackeys and is in Megatron’s good graces. Life has never looked so good.

[everdino]

Okay, i gonna regret it.

Before it start, i have to say, that i AdORE Eve's blitzbee sparklings, and also love to write. But, there's one thing. Up to this point, I wrote something like fics in my native language.  This is my first English text, so there are probably a lot of mistakes.  And, also, I probably couldn’t accurately convey the character’s character, but at least I tried.  Immediately I apologize for all the mistakes, I hope you enjoy it

Helix belong to @eve-of-halloween i don't own any character, only text itself.

Father support

- I must admit, with your ability to absolutely rash and ridiculous actions you have surpassed your own sire - grumbled the ex-con, dragging on his shoulders his reckless sparkling. Despite a frown and a rare growl due to the weight on his body, in his voice were clearly heard excitement and even fear. Young Prime grinned hoarsely:

- May be. But still, if not for this rashness, neither I nor my siblings would even be born.

There was only silence in response, apparently Blitzwing thought too deeply about his words. - Yes. Here I have to agree. - triplechanger finally answered after a while.

It all began so well. He and his little bug came to visit their son and see their grandson either. However, a small, but very annoying bunch of Decepticons, who lost contact with their own kind, had different plans.

Cons attacked suddenly, taking advantage of the confusion of the bots. For Blitzwing, they were just a toys, that didnt represent anything serious. But even so, they managed to knock out Helix at the last moment and take him as prisoner. Unfortunately for them, the former con noticed this. Making sure, that Bumblebee and sparkling retreated safety, he rushed right behind the Decepticons, for his son. And all because Helix thought it vital thoughtlessly attack the enemy, initially not appreciating the situation, and, as a result, damage his leg. Thinking about it made Blitzwing frown harder. Why was this so familiar to him? Oh, yes. Bumblebee.

Long story short, now they unknown where, with the destroyed small ship of the Decepticons, without the Decepticons themselves nearby (which was very suspicious), without communication and with a damaged leg of Helix. Wonderful.

Not a new situation for the triplechanger, but Bumblebee at least had his stingers.

- How badly is your communicator damaged? - Blitzwing asked, moving far enough away from the scene of the accident. He planted Helix on the ground and crouched next to rest for a little. Just because young Prime is small, doesn't mean he's as light.

- Not as bad as other injuries. Probably, I can configure everything in a couple of hours. If someone don’t find us before - answered Helix.

This was encouraging. Blitzwing once again checked the systems, slightly jerked his cannons. His ability to transform was still in the ranks, unlike Helix, who had not fatal, but very unpleasant wounds on his side. Of course, Blitzwing could take his son in his arms and fly up, but he was afraid that he would attract unwanted attention. Not to mention that he had no idea where they were or where to fly. All the attempts of the elder mech to contact anyone (It’s worth noting that, by “anyone” was meant Bumblebee or Hornet) were unsuccessful. With a sigh of exasperation, the triplechanger leaned against the stone, closing the optics to gather his thoughts. Helix was silent, which was unusual for him, as well as for Bee.

- Are you okay? Does it hurt? - the father inquired anxiously, opening the optics and peering at his son. Young Prime twitched when he realized, that Blitzwing were talking to him and looked up. - huh? oh no no I'm fine. Like...it's certainly not my best condition, but it could have been worse, right?

- You're pretty quiet. - Blitzwing noted rather persistently. - What bothers you?

Helix looked away. - I'm just worry. Do you think Stormy and Vantage got out of there safely? And sire? They were pursued?

Taking a deep breath in order to remain in his "cold" consciousness, triplechanger nodded encouragingly to him - I am sure of that. Your mech friend stepped back with Vantage as soon as the cons appeared. And Bumblebee...- he stumbled. But as for his own conjunx, he was no longer sure. You can't underestimate the small bot, Blitzwing was convinced of this more than once on his own armor, but he could still get into trouble, possessing the same reckless character

- I suppose your sire also handled the remaining bunch of these morons. - he concluded. - They'll be fine, Wing....Helix - mech corrected himself. A warm sensation of pride, mixed with light nostalgia, spread over his spark. His little sparkling, part of him and part of his dear Bee, became something more, than just the petty son of a traitor. Traitor...Blitzwing didn’t give a damn about what others thought him to be, but the realization, that his sparklings could be judged for his crimes forced his cannons to heat up.

No one dared blame HIS sparkling

Meanwhile, Helix smiled at him, in gratitude for his support, and looked away again. His wings and shoulders were down, his knees pressed to his stomach, which made him visually smaller than he was. Something was wrong. Blitzwing felt it and it started to make him angry. He was angry that he could not help him, because he did not understand what exactly was the reason. But despite this, he did not let the hothead appear, forcing himself to be cold-blooded.

- So, we are without communication - Before the former con had time to say something, Helix began to speak first. - We are without communication, without energon, I can’t fly. We don’t know where we are and don’t know if others can find us. -

The young prime took a deep breath and spoke again, hiding his trembling voice. Trying at least:

- I don't know how my conjunx is and how my sparkling is. I just very very stupidly fell, injured a fragging leg. Allowed these bastards to capture myself. And now, not only me but you are in danger!

Blitzwing fluttered his wings, revealing his optics in surprise. - Helix ..- he began, but young mech interrupted again:

- Which damned prime of me is if I framed those who are dear to me? I should have made sure everyone retreated safely. I had to think before doing. I should not have allowed myself to be captured. - he growled. - But I didn't! I'm not just bad prime, I'm a shitty carrier, and just a reckless idiot!

- Helix..- Blitzwing said much louder, wanting to stop this stream of unfair judgments about his dear sparkling, especially since these same judgments come from this very sparkling, but Helix didn't stop.

- Sentinel was right about me...-

- NO. HE. WAS. NOT! - The sound of a loud whirr pierced the air as triplechanger face began to spin.The scarlet visor lights up with a bright red light, from the anger overwhelming him.

- This big-chin cretin was never right about you. Like you right now talking wrong bullshit about yourself! - growled Blitzwing, clenching his hands into fists. However, anger quickly waned when fleeting fear swept through Helix's optics. The face spun again, revealing an icy personality, and the former con spoke darkly and sternly:

- Your judgments about yourself are fundamentally wrong. You cannot be good or bad prime. Trite for the reason that you simply did not have experience. You cannot be a bad or good carrier, Vintage is still very young. Although, even here I have to say that you take good care of him, based on how I or Bee took care of you in due time. - he paused for Helix to process the information and continue: - Yes, you acted very thoughtlessly and stupidly. But everyone makes mistakes. Yes, I agree that this mistake could become fatal, for which I am dissatisfied with you, but even this case does not give you the right to say such shit about yourself. Besides, - his optic softened - Recognizing your mistakes is already the path to success. The next step will be to realize how to fix these mistakes. As for my safety, here you definitely can not worry. I have experienced even worse days, the only danger for me now is to allow any harm to you. Because no matter how high in status you are, you are still my sparkling, and for me, as a creator, the main priority is your safety. Mental including. You understand me? -

Helix nodded silently. To Blitzwing's relief, he looked at him with a certain interest.

- Being prime is probably hard. I don’t know and never will, but I know that you will succeed. You have already done a great job, making me and Bumblebee proud. Do not let anyone judge you for your height - suddenly his face spun - I judged and then a couple of very very unpleasant stingers made me regret - he laughed with his crooked scarlet smile, after the face spun once again: - Also, do not let yourself be judged for your origin. You are not me. And I hope you never will. You are better than me, you will make this world a better place. Like your siblings. You all making this world better.

- I..- Helix hesitated, looking a little embarrassed - do you really think so?

- Yes, i am.

- Thank you. Really...- the young prime perked up noticeably. Something deep inside the triplechanger noted, that his gaze resembled that gaze of his own sire, but he decided to drop such thoughts. Not now.

- I'll try...to be better. - finished Helix.

- Of course, you will.

Then was silence, but there was no awkwardness in it. Helix came to his senses, taking off this unusual manner of self-criticism, new forces appeared in him.

- So, - the young prime spoke up. - How about a little while before my leg stops hurting? Then we will try to contact the big-chin cretin again, maybe some exploring.

- Sounds like a good idea for me. - Whirr - And if you call once Sentinel "big-chin-cretin" make sure he knows what I came up with! - giggled black face

- Ya got it - Helix grinned back - Now wanna hear how me and the boys doing stupid things in your absence?

- Yes Yes, tell me, boy! - Blitzwing nodded his head vigorously, his wings trembled merrily. Soon, he realized how much he hated being in silence as soon as Helix spoke. And he was terribly happy that most of his sparkling took this trait from the little bug.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Some time has passed since the moment of their conversation (more precisely, the Blitzwing monologue). Helix moved his leg in different directions trying to find out if it hurts or not, while the former con wandered around, in new attempts to contact the others.

- Its sucks, - Young bot concluded, realizing that he still could not get up. Blitzwing wanted to help him, when he heard a quiet sound, which he regarded as a jet engine.

The cannons at the same moment fell into combat mode starting to charge. - Stay close - he growled, trying to determine where, and most importantly, from whom the sound was coming. By the edge of the optics, he noticed how Helix activates the blade on his hand. The probability that this was a con is clearly higher than that it was a bot, since the bots only have three jets and one helicopter. his monocular began to move trying to detect the sound source. When he noticed an approaching jet, he began to doubt its hostility, but he didn’t want to hurry, so that he would be completely convinced of his guesses.

However, these doubts disappeared when Helix jumped in place: - Stormy!! - he shouted. Blitzwing waited a bit, peering into the jett, then raised his cannons, calming down. The blue-yellow jet transformed in the air and literally rushed towards them. - Helix! Are you okay?!

- Nearly! - answered the happy Prime. Young bots collided with each other, hugging tightly. - My leg hurts a little but I'm fine!

- You have no idea how much we were worried. Bumble bot almost went crazy. And I understand him perfectly! - more excited, than judgmental, Jetstorm said

- Is everything okay with Vantage? - Helix asked worriedly.

- Except that he missed you terribly, then he’s okay - Smiled Stormy

Blitzwing stepped aside so as not to interfere with the two bots in love. There was a faint smile on his face when he heard about the Bumblebot. He will hear a long and extremely emotional lecture on why he should not have done this...alone. Bumblebee will obviously be offended, that he could not join the rescue mission. Little caring bug. He turned and saw Helix's happy smile. That smile, like the smile of Bumblebee, Hornet or the twins, was the reason he was still here. To tear the faces of those who dare to take that smile from their faces.

Whatever it takes.

[mocacheezy]

(forgot to actualy post this when I first wrote it, anyways, rechecked the info with the help of wiki, so have my thoughts on TFA Megatron (S1))

So I finished the first season of Transformers Animated, and let me just… Let me just EXPRESS my feelings for TFA S1 Megatron and the shit that happens to him:

So Megatron has the Allspark in his sight after so many many years of searching. It’s on a tiny Autobot repair ship, shouldn’t be a problem to get it right? Except while fighting the Autobots a bomb planted on him (by Starscream, he should see this coming) detonates. He survives that with damage to his right arm, gets inside the ship and is facing off against 5 autobots (clearly repair crew, and not in sync) in no gravity. One of them manages to cut his arm off, he is down by an arm, big deal, ‘tis but a scratch, he’s fine.

… No like seriously, this doesn’t stop him. He ALMOST GETS THE ALLSPARK!

Except that the leader of this troublesome repair crew kicks him off ship, causing him to crash on Earth. The only thing intact is his head (that Sumdac finds). Is he dead? Is he in a coma? Whatever it is, Sumdac tinkers with what he found.

50 years later, Megatron wakes up, can’t move, can’t do anything really because he is literaly a HEAD (ᵃˡˢᵒ ʷʰⁱˡᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ʳᵉˡᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵃⁿᵗ ᶠᵘˡˡʸ,ⁱ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉᵖⁱˢᵒᵈᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵇᵘˡᵏʰᵉᵃᵈ “ˡᵒˢⁱⁿᵍ” ʰⁱˢ ᵇᵒᵈʸ…ᵖᵘᵗˢ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵍˢ ⁱⁿᵗᵒ ᵖᵉʳˢᵖᵉᶜᵗⁱᵛᵉ), sees that Starscream was the one who tried to kill him and almost suceeded (or did he suceed? Again, not 100% clear on the function of that Key… It heals, it upgrades, it gives life and sentience… Did it REVIVE Megatron or did it just wake him up?)

And what does he do?

I MEAN LOOK AT THIS?!

He is LITERALY ONLY A HEAD, WITH SO MANY OF PARTS EXPOSED OR WIRES HOOKED UP TO SUMDACS MACHINES.

MACHINES THAT HE CAN’T USE, BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO PRIMITIVE.

AND DESPITE ALL THAT!

THIS GLORIOUS FUCKER!

STARTS PLANNING RIGHT AWAY! HE KNOWS THE SITUATION IS BAD AND HE BIDES HIS TIME!

He eventualy risks what little… Advantage? Is being locked away in the dark an advantage? When there’s autobots around being hailed as heroes, yea I think it might be though Megatron wouldn’t admit it… I think? Not outloud that’s for sure

Anyways, he risks it with exposing himself to Sumdac.

And then proceeds to deceive Sumdac! Like, Sumdac is smart. I actualy did need to take a step back and go “damn this poor man really is way over his head”, because on the first glance it seems really dumb to fall for a lie like that.

(I actualy would love to talk about the Professor in the future, especialy by just looking at him as a character on his own… BUT THIS IS MEGS SPOTLIGHT SO *yeets away for another time*)

AND MEGATRON IS NOT 100% GOOD AT THIS “I am an Autobot” THING. He lashes out! He is impatient, he is angry to the point of wrecking the lab with the energy surges and there are moments when Sumdac doubts that he himself can fix this mess he made, especialy with how angry this “Autobot” is.

But SOMEHOW, this glorious FUCK manages to turn most of the damage those outbursts cause into very convincing explanations for his reactions, WHILE also pretending to be useful and “helping”.  

He can see almost everything from where he is, once he masters the connections with the cameras and etc. in the tower and things across the city. He deflects or “explains” why his plans included flamethrowers for amusement bots, and, let me say this again! 

HE IS ONLY A HEAD AT THIS POINT IN THE SERIES!

A HEAD!

He is pretty limited with what he can do HIMSELF! Sumdac is not an ally, he is more of an enemy that isn’t aware of the power he holds over Megatron.

And he is doing everything FAR too slow.

That everything being mainly, getting Megs a body.

AND WHAT’S EVEN BETTER?!

There are so many robots around, all of them reverse enginered from Megatron himself, and none of them are of use to him. And when he DOES manage to get them to listen, something always interferes (Dinobots were a semi sucess, Soundwave rebelled, but did end up wearing a con badge (and boy was it eerie to hear Soundwave say ‘machines supperior to humans’ and how they will be all destroyed… Great episode that one) ). 

So the robots of this planet are useless to him. He has to try and find a way to manipulate human criminals to do his bidding, getting him the materials Sumdac apparently can’t get without raising suspicion. Not that it’s hard, but they are useless as well, especialy with the Autobots meddling, so that also fails. 

And there is always that Key. That he can’t just ask for, but can’t get no matter how he tries. And by god, does he try.

His only real, longe term-ish line of self defense at the moment is Sumdac and his guilt over using a friend of the Heroic Autobots…

AND THEN!

HIS DECEPTICONS ARRIVE!

And he isn’t even sure if he can trust them, given that his Second In Command blew him to pieces. So he has to gamble and hope for the best with Lugnut.

Which is clearly tiring because, as much of devout follower as Lugnut is (the fanfics are all spot on, writers of TFA Fandom amazing job portraying this mass of devotion), it gets annoying real fast when you are trying to get things done and really need to get a body asap, and the only one you can count on is determined to sing praises to you everytime you give an order.

Not even THAT seems to bring him any closer to his goal. And then Sumdac finds what remained of his body.

Pretty good for 50 years of weather exposure, eh?

BUT it seems he will have to keep waiting, because the blizzard that is raging outside causes a blackout, so the Tower is using the backup generator, so Sumdac declairs a delay in repairs.

Megatron alternates between bluster and sweet-talk to try to get his way, but it’s no use. Megatron attempts to call Lugnut again for assistance.

(Source: tfwiki)

From the looks of it, he came back online at the begining/end of fall, so he’s been,

pretending to be an Autobot (one who is a friend of bots he knows very little about, the ones who caused him to become like this in the first place)

 pretending to be useful and helpful to Sumdac in exchange for attempted repairs (all of which have failed)

keeping his temper in check (good thing he can save the slip ups with quick thinking…)  

for about… 3 or 4 months?

And no way to leave the lab?

With Sumdac as his only company?

Probably also in discomfort given THAT HE IS HOOKED UP LIKE THAT?!

With his ghoulish hand in sight that was/is CLEARLY being used as a chair for an organic?

… Yea. Imagine doing all that, being this close to finaly making progress, and instead being told “Weather bad, no can’t do, wait a while longer”.

So if Sumdac fears enough for the safety of his planet, he’ll surely work faster right? That seems to work somewhat…

Then comes Starscream.

The absolutely last Decepticon Megatron needs right now. So Megatron has to pretend he doesn’t know Starscream tried to kill him. With Starscream CLEARLY planning to kill him for good this time.

He is a head, what can he do?

We can soon see Megatron can take great joy in punishing that fragger, with limited resources he has, while Sumdac finaly works on his body.

The only fun perk of being a “friend of the Autobots” so far.

And then Blitzwing and Lugnut arrive. I swear, I was sure with all the talk Lugnut was doing, there was no way Megatron will actualy get that body.

Good thing they got the Key and that Sumdac didn’t think/wasn’t able to put in any override codes or sound the alarms.

What followed was a gorgeous villain reanimation/reconstruction scene and I loved every second of it. I mean, just look at this. 

So, Megatron finaly has a fresh new body.

(gorgeous fucker)

He fights the Autobots, (if I start talking about the details, this post will never end), defeats them and does a magnificent job of offlining his SIC.

(Like, I love TFA Starscream. I really do. This purple bastard is a joy to watch, but given what he did, seeing him get offlined in such a dramatic, yet quick and efficient way(and knowing he comes back anyway)… Let’s just say, I was very pleased.)

The “Fuck you Starscream, Die 1.0” however, lets the Autobots escape and the chase begins.

Here I would like to thank the animators for giving both Bots and Cons gorgeous Magical girl-esque transformation scenes, because they are all beautiful BUT MEGATRON, HOLY HELL, I AM LOVING THAT HELICOPTER!

And they are back on the Ark, fighting in much the same way they were the first time, 

But Megatron has no apparent weaknesses, except perhaps being cluttered with little shards of Optimus Prime after he finishes beating on the Autobot. Their one-sided fight carries them into the hold of the ship, where Megatron succeeds in acquiring the AllSpark… 

Megatron manages to GET THE ALLSPARK! 

SO MANY YEARS OF FIGHTING AND SEARCHING, AND HE HAS IT!

And he puts it in his spark chamber. Or in front of it.

…

Megatron. You just put an anchient artifact in your chest.

I… Listen, this is a step above Megan and his SpaceCocaineStraightToSpark Nonesense, BUT ALRIGHT!

I GUESS IT IS “SAFER” THAN HOLDING IT IN YOUR HANDS WHILE FIGHTING AND GLOATING.

Before he can celebrate, he is temporarily downed by Isaac, who knows enough about Megatron’s circuitry to disable his equilibrium sensors—

(”well fuck you too Sumdac”, I mutter to myself) 

but although he drops the AllSpark Key in his stumble, the tyrant isn’t down for long. Megatron is about to finish Prime, when Sari hurls Prime the Key…

the kid Megatron could easily crush when she was standing infront of the Allspark (BUT HE DIDN’T!) throws the key to Optimus.

…

Who proceeds to jam it into the Allspark.

…

In your chest Megatron.

…

Where your own spark is, Megatron.

For the Lord of Decepticons and quite an old fellow, who I’ve just sung praise to, that was so dumb…

A destabilized Megatron flees the ship before the AllSpark explodes inside his chest, dispersing its energy throughout the atmosphere.

HE BLOWS UP! AGAIN!

This time his body is mostly in one piece, and he has Sumdac as a hostage but…

This Megatron does not have luck on his side.

He really does not.

The only reason he is still functioning is, that he is too stubborn to give up and die. 

The whole “TooStubbornToDie” does seem to be a Megatron trademark, and makes me love his character even more.

TFA Megs. S1 and I already love him so much. 

To finish up this rant of mine…

Someone get him a damn blanket and force him TO TAKE A DAMN BREAK! REST YOU STUBBORN FOOL! 

[crystalconjunx]

Can I request tfa blitzwing with female human s/o nsfw

You weren't entirely sure when your relationship with the triple-changer changed. You just knew that it had.

You were but a humble mechanic taken hostage with a few of your fellow Detroiters when you managed to strike up a conversation with one of your beleaguered kidnappers: a large german-accented Decepticon with three different faces who went by the name Blitzwing. The monocled blue face refused to look at you and the angry red one shouted insults at you, but the jack-o-lantern-esque one that called itself "Random" seemed more than happy to chat. At least, until help arrived and the autobots promptly saved the day.

You thought that was that until, one day, the same large three-faced mech plummeted into your backyard and just barely missed destroying your workshop.

He seemed injured, but the blue face with the monocle still pointedly ignored you even as he nursed an injured leg. Not knowing how to help, but not wanting to just leave the mech injured like that, you offered him some oil. That's what these guys drank, right?

Without a word of thanks, he picked the barrel up and cracked the top like a can of soda before chugging the whole thing down. 

Then he transformed right in front of you. You found the way his parts moved absolutely mesmerizing. It was a perfect shifting of gears and plates almost too quick for human eyes to follow.

Before you knew it, he had launched back into the air and flew away towards the city.

Ever since then, the jet-slash-tank-slash-giant robot had made himself plenty comfortable with crashing your workshop whenever he pleased and helping himself to whatever oil or gas you had lying around. Then he'd get familiar with the stack of cars he'd made into a couch and watch television while you worked on whatever car you had in the shop while simultaneously insulting, mocking, 

At least he actually spoke to you now. 

"You puny humans can't even make good oil," Hothead complained over the offending barrel in his large hand. "It always tastes like dirt and dinosaur bones!" 

"Well, what's it supposed to taste like?" You ask.

"Like energon! The way it's supposed to!" 

"And what does energon taste like?" 

"Like energon, obviously!"

"Wait, so there's nothing on Earth to compare it to?" You question.

"Not even close! It's awful." 

Damn human biology. Space goop poisoning was probably only a small price to pay to be the first person on Earth to try an alien substance. "Damn, wish I could try it then. Well, try it and live to tell the tale."

"I do have some." Icy said calmly. 

They were the first words he'd spoken to you at all. 

"Not enough for my tanks," he continued boredly, "but it would likely be more than you could drink."

"Really? What do you think would happen if I drank it?" You asked.

"Only one way to find out!" Random's still transforming face laughed gleefully before pulling a purple cube out of his subspace. It was laughably small in his hands, but it was about the size of a mail package in yours. It was full of bright, pink-purplish liquid and was surprisingly light.

"Wait, wait, isn't this stuff, like, super rare?" You ask as you accepted the cube. "I thought that was the reason you left your homeworld."

"Only a teensy part of it." Random giggled. "The rest is unimportant. It's really, really, super rare, though, so don't drop it!"

"And you're… just going to give it to me?" You asked in awe. "Are you sure?"

How could Blitzwing just offer you something so rare. You half-expected the mech to kill you at any given time. Now he was just giving you what could very well be a priceless alien energy source?

"Well, do you want it or not?" Hothead demanded. "Like I said, it's barely half a tank for me. At least if I give it to you I might see a human— I don't know. What do you guys do when you die? Pop or something?"

"Ooh!" Random interjected. "I love it when they pop! Come on, Y/N, down the hatch! Let's see what other colors you organics have!" 

That was the first time any of the personalities had said your name. So Blitzwing did remember all those times you told him you weren't just called 'human,' the lying bastard.

"Well…" The bright pink liquid certainly looked palatable enough. Maybe just a little taste wouldn't kill you?

You lifted the cube up and gave it a small sniff. It didn't smell toxic, at least.

"Ugh, don't be such a coward, human!" Hothead complained. Ah, you lamented, there went the first-name basis. You heard rather than saw his face transform again before Random petulantly nudged the drink with his finger— it was a move too weak to send you onto your ass, but more than enough to make you jolt and spill half the cube of energon all over yourself. 

"Look what you did, you waste of space!" Hothead roared. "I told you that energon was rare and you spill half of it on yourself like a newspark!"

You sputtered as the pinkish liquid seeped into your clothes and soaked every inch of your skin and set the rest of the cube down before turning to scowl up at the giant mech. "Me? You're the one that poked it! You almost knocked me over!"

"It's not my fault you're so weak, Y/N!" He mocked before Icy took over. 

The cool jet leaned down to the ground, his optics peering at you as if he could see right through you. Even his breath carried a slight chill as he spoke this close to you. 

"That was quite the waste, Schatz, but I have an idea of how you can make it up to me."

"Y-yeah?" You said as you could feel the cold against your wet skin, "And what's that? 

You were suddenly in the hands of a very large, powerful robot and much, much further off the ground than you would have liked. 

"I'll just clean it off you! Two birds, one tongue!" Random sang, already lifting his claws to cut away the stained clothes from your body. 

You hadn't seen his tongue before, but now you couldn't figure out how you didn't notice it. It was long and prehensile, thin at the tip and thicker towards the base as it snaked out of his mouth and onto the skin of your thigh. 

"Well, schatz?" Random offered with a salacious wink. "What do you say?"

You'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't find the mech attractive. Sure, he was crazy, and dangerous, and a total jerk sometimes, but you couldn't shake the feeling that he was somehow different from the rest of the Decepticons. You'd hoped his persistent presence was a sign that he tolerated you, even if only a bit. 

What could it hurt?

"Alright," you agreed. "Just, uh, be careful, please, Blitzy"

"Y/n! You wound me!" Random said sadly before he suddenly shifted your legs ever so slightly apart with a single thumb. "Don't worry, schatz. You'll make it up to me." He promised. 

You didn't have time to question that sentence as his tongue was suddenly licking a wet stripe up your the sides of your hip from your torso.

"Ah," Icy said. "I missed the taste of energon." His tongue was cold as it trailed up your abdomen, swirling across a wide smear of energon on your chest while you squealed at the sudden chill to your warm skin. 

"Stop moving or I'll drop you!" Hothead commanded. His warm tongue wrapped down across your thighs. 

The tongue has you licked clean in a matter of moments. 

Blitzwing appears no worse for wear as he smiles down at you.

You, meanwhile, are a mess. You're panting in his hands, feeling like you're about to fall apart under his unblinking optics. 

"Uh-oh," Random frowns in that sing-song voice of his. "Looks like I missed a spot!"

He reaches down, grabs the container, and pours the cool liquid across your hips. It slips between your thighs, flows into your spread-open pussy and runs freely down his palm. 

Random's tongue immediately laps at your slit, humming in pleasure at the taste of the energon as he slides it further inside you. He flicks his tongue up and down inside you, feeling for sensitive spots as he buries his face in your thighs. He lets the thin edge tangle and untangle against your walls. Then he just lightly glances against that spot, the one that makes you cry out in pleasure and squeeze around him and he attacks it without mercy. He holds you open effortlessly as he tongue-fucks you into his hand. You think you're begging, but you can't tell. You can't hear anything as you focus on the unrelenting pleasure against your g-spot.

And then you're cumming onto his tongue with a muffled cry, ineffectually pushing at his head as he pulls out to lap at your sensitive clit.

He takes much longer cleaning you up the second around. 

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Armada character review!!;(4/8)

We got the goody two shoes out of the way, let’s get to the big, the bad, the brutal, Decepticons!!!;

Megatron!!;

BIG boy! Every transformers series needs SOME antagonist, and in Armada, one of them is this big mech here! He’s…not that great. No joke, he’s my least favorite Megatron. He didn’t have consistency. He was a dick when it was uncalled for, and took verbal abuse when it didn’t make sense? There was a lot of times when his actions threw me for a loop, and not in a pleasant way.

Verdict:6/10. This series did NOT treat him well. At all.

Galvatron!!;

Oh. My god. His color changed but his personality WORSENED. Holy SHIT. MEGA DOUCHE. He was even more stubborn than before, and even more of a dick. He’s immensely stubborn about pointless shit, but he’s a quitter to the point where he self sacrifices. And the name change made no SENSE! I respect his pronouns, but the randomness of the name and the way he INSISTS upon it, is awful. They couldn’t spend a few minutes to give him a reason for his name?(other than selling toys). His ONLY saving grace was the gay moments towards the end. And they went WAY hard on his fangs.

Verdict:4/10. He ONLY gets any points because of the fangs and gay. He’s just…aye vay. It was awful to see him plummet. Tfp Megatron wouldn’t hesitate to offline this beatle motherfucker.

Cyclonus!!;

An ABSOLUTE bastard, but like in a good way? Picture Tfa’s Random Blitzwing. This is his annoying older cousin that no one invites to any family event. He’d be the guy you work with, and offer you chocolate, only for you to find out he drugged it. And he’d say its just weed, then remember its fucking acid. He’s that kinda guy. Just the wildest, dumbest bastard you can ever meet. He’s a funny go though, and while I did say I headcanoned him as asexual, I’m actually thinking otherwise. I think he fucked Starscream at LEAST once.(im not kidding they’ve flirted before, its #159)

Verdict:6/10. It’s not that he’s not a nice guy. Well I mean hes not, he’s just a chaotic evil, but he doesn’t portray much of a personality other than “fuck you, imma destroy shit, and imma laugh while I’m doing it” and while its funny, its not much of a personality. He did make me chuckle a few times though.

Demolisher!!;

When you look at Demolisher, you see a big grunt, with nothing more than big muscles and loyalty. While he does have those two qualities, he’s not JUST that. He’s a giant absolutely baby. Seriously he’s cried at least four times in this series. He’s also an absolute bud? He can occasionally be a dick, but when the team wasn’t doing alright, he was the only one really trying to hold the team together. He’s not only a comfort for the team, but he��s the pick up crew. No seriously, it’s canon that he’s the one who picks up the messes around the base. Including Thrust at one point. Hes SO sweet. So tender. He deserves validation and to get absolutely DESTROYED by spikes.

Color change variant:

Verdict:9/10. A breath of fresh air! He’s an absolute doll. Yes he’s sort of a knock off tfp Breakdown, but he’s trying his hardest dammit. I just wanna invite him over for dinner and care for him. His spark is bigger than his bust.

[erimeows]

Blitzwing will love a human that can talk German and still curse out his leader. Random would be affected the most I feel em me for more hcs on this topic

Alright, so this is a fun, short one I’m writing while I’m at work between shifts. I personally headcanon that even though Icy thinks a lot of humans are gross and Hothead is pissed off by them, both are fascinated by human languages. On most planets they go to, there’s only one or two that the species speaks, so the fact that humans have so many is enthralling to him since one of his hobbies is learning new languages.

Blitzwing has a phenomenal memory/ability to pick things up quick and learns German (though behind Megatron’s back lmao) along with some other human languages, but he’s most excited about German since he thinks it “fits” him the best/fits the way he speaks.

So, when you’re brought onto base as a hostage, and are so angry that you cuss Megatron out in German, Random can’t help but take over and fall onto the floor laughing at the vulgar language the tiny human is using whilst Megatron is standing there, completely unaware of what you’re actually saying and mumbling something about your “human garbage babbling”.

You get comfortable after a while and escape that yeah, you’re a hostage for the Decepticons to use to fuck with the Autobots (who you aren’t even involved with, mind you. you’re just a random person unfortunate enough to have been walking home from work late at night and alone which let Megatron pick you up off the streets despite your flailing and screaming for the sake of his scheme), and your life will be easier the more you cooperate since there’s no point in trying to escape with so many Decepticons around to stop you. Blitzwing is charged with guarding you anyways. Just in case.

You hate Megatron, though, since he’s the one behind all of this. Every time you’re near the mech you throw obscure insults like arschgeige (ass violin), einzeller (single cell organism, aka single brain cell), or kotzbroken (son of a bitch/bastard), and many more. Your relationship with Blitzwing is cordial and awkward since you’re used to talking to Icy who’s just like that, or Hothead who you frequently piss off by getting into heated screaming matches with him, but Random pops up increasingly more with each occasion that you cuss out his leader.

And with that, all three of you get along. You like Random’s sense of humor and support of you, and you admire Icy’s intelligence, as well as Hothead’s passion. After a while with the two (or four) of you getting to know each other, things start going pretty well and you get the gist of why the Decepticons are doing what they’re doing. You still hate Megatron, of course- con’s a conceited little prick, but you set that aside enough to enjoy what time you have with Blitzwing.

You and Icy regularly exchange German literature and have good conversations about whatever happens to be relevant that day, while you show Hothead trash television in different languages and tell him all about it, which he and Random both enjoy. Meanwhile, you and Random like to pass time by playing pranks on the other Decepticons and speaking different human languages around them that they don’t know to mess with their processors.

Eventually, as luck would have it, the Autobots come rescue you and return you to your normal life, but afterwards... You can’t stop thinking about Blitzwing. So, you sneak off in the middle of the night and return to the Decepticon base to find him and tell him that you still want to meet up, but that if he kidnaps you and takes you back to Megatron, you’ll cuss him out in German, too.

It’s a joke and he knows it, but Icy can’t help but take you somewhat seriously as the two of you whisper to each other hidden away from Megatron in his berthroom, so he tells you that Megatron could always find another human, but couldn’t find another you, and that all he wants you to himself instead of making you some hostage.

The two of you start that starcrossed lovers thing before you even become actual lovers; talking over coms/phones in German, writing each other letters in the same language, sneaking out at night to meet each other in the forest between your house and the Decepticon base.

Blitzwing is disgusted in himself for falling in love with a human, but he couldn’t deject it, either. You were hot, fiery, and passionate, and the two of you had a lot in common, so... Maybe it was meant to be, or at least something he could explore, right?