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#only thing keeping me slightly sane rn
maxymanspeed · 11 months
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only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car, only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car, only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car, only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car, only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car, only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car, only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car, only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car, only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car, only 2 more races and then Charles has an entirely new car -
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medicaltechnician · 8 months
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idk if its the late nights and lack of activity (my own fault) but i’ve been feeling like i need out of this friend group more and more. Idk what it is (i do, it just seems… petty and stupid. And just seems like a me problem not a them problem.)
problem ofc is that, there are a couple people i like as friends in the group. hell fuck i love them all and don’t want them out of my life completely. sort of wish that I didn’t have my ex out of my life completely. Maybe one day we can reconnect. But we both have to be more mature for that. We both need more growth. No idea how he’s doing.
I feel like I villified him a bit in my brain. Which was urged by my closest friend. Who I trust with my life so. (this was after I confessed maybe I have problems with him to to this friend. which was valid). Idk, people approach things differently. And I agree’d with my friend.
I think its a problem with how I talk. I guess I come off in absolutes? Idk. I give off, strange vibes when I talk. This tangent makes no sense to anybody but me.
But also, can’t just, drop em? They’re sort of my only friend group. It ain’t like I get out and about. I don’t mesh well with people. It sort of sucks that the most I’ve meshed well with is my ex, my bestie, and another friend. My ex is no contact so fuck me ig. My bestie is pre-occupied with other things and personally, I feel we’ve drifted a bit. I’m not too bothered by it? It’s neither of our faults, just taking different life paths. Also going from complete co-dependency to what we have now. What we have now is probably just normal friendship lmao. And then the other friend is a couple years younger than me, so obviously they do have their set of friends within their age group. Which I encourage them hanging out, like obviously. I see myself as more of an older brother figure ig. Try to part some wisdom I’ve gained. Then theres my crush and obviouslt rhats a mess, I wish I never had a crush on him so we could have a normal relationship. I wish I could have friends?? Idk. what am I talking bout?
So, yeah. I need to get out of the house more often so I can meet like-minded people (in the creative and path sense) so I can actually do the things I want to do. I don’t even need to be a producer or lead or director. Fuck I’m happy starting from the bottom and working my way up. (Ideal situation is mainly being on equal footing. I want people to give their input and ideas to my ideas, and vise versa)
#ker talks#it’s strange nowadays i feel like when i reach out im being annoying or smth#whether im reaching out for positive stuff or negative#when i do i rarely get a satisfactory response in my mind. feels like i’m being brushed off.#or ya know i’d like to hold a conversation thats got some meat to it? but it fizzles out#shit wondering if my bestie even wants to talk to me.#last time I came over I was hoping to watch jerma together and we did-ish. he sort of was textin/interacting with his crush#or just on his phone idk. call me a boomer but it bugs me when people r on their phone in a one on one situation#I understand if it’s a bigger group or if ya just checking it#but it seemed fuckin constant. it sucked. shit.#its worse when we get high together esp since i only get high alone so i tend to scroll a bit too#but itd be nice if when we got high we did stuff together esp in person next time we hang out i’ll keep note of this stuff and bring it up#just to make sure i aint making it up. esp cause i feel like im being stupidly jealous bout this#i see him interact with others? whats different bout me. he said he feels comfortable actually unmasking round me#and i know interaction drains him and fuck he went through so much and is trying his hardest to stay alive and sane rn#so idk i dont want to put more on his plate. but its fucking me up a bit too.#hell one of the things we went thru together. reacted differently and affected differently cause slightly different situations.#its honestly one of my working theories on why we drifted cause we keep reminding eachother of that night by interacting.#it sucks. alot. i dont want to be reminded of my failures. of the fact it traumatized him so fuckinf deeply and i failed.#and then i feel guilty for even feeling like shit bout the event cause i didnt have /that/ happen to me i just happrned to be there.#i need a goddamn professional to sort this out. it sucks ass. and i hate that it fuels my self hate#both to do with my inability to protect and feeling insignificant. overshadowed. thats the worse feeling of it all.
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delcakoo · 2 years
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hey ema I dunno if your requests are still open but I was wondering if you could make a scenario in where reader is studying at a café for her periodic exam, and jungwon is a barista if that made sense haha. so like barista!jungwon x fem!reader ehrejerje
how are you? how's school? currently studying😔😭
helloo love, i have a cold rn but i’m alive T-T ty for asking jsjndjs, my requests are closed but since i need a distraction from blowing my nose every 5 seconds.. here u go <3 and good luck studying! me and jungwon are cheering for you!! (SOFT HOURS ARE CLOSED!)
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9:51PM — you simply refuse to take a glance outside the small cafe’s window. it would only be a reminder that you’d just spent your entire, precious saturday afternoon studying things that were, frankly, a bunch of nonsenical bullshit.
but either way, this was the school system — you had no other choice but to continue copying notes onto your cue cards and sighing at the low humming emitting from your laptop, the poor device practically screaming, ‘give me a break you lunatic!’.
the only thing keeping you sane throughout the whole night spent in the now dreadfully empty cafe was the cute boy who’d been serving you since you arrived, and perhaps your cup of coffee that was sat depressingly on the table in front of you.
when you finally look up from your notes, you realise it’s only the two of you left in said coffee shop. jungwon, his name tag read, was now wiping down the tables, sleeves pulled above his elbows and coal shaded hair bouncing everytime he strokes the wood clean.
he seems to be at peace and strangely satisfied with what he’s doing, taking his sweet time to wash every corner, contrary to most employees who’d probably be doing a half-assed job by now in hopes of closing up quicker.
it seems he must’ve felt your staring; soft cat eyes with a hint of exhaustion raising to meet your own equally as tired ones.
jungwon sends you a smile, so you offer him a perk of your own lips in return.
before you can greet him, he catches you off guard in the worst way possible, “what’s the political ideology with one dictator that controls the lives of—“
“fascism!” you blurt before he can even finish, immediately flushing in embarassment. the boy swiftly bends over in laughter, nose scrunching adorably and a dimple poking through the apple of his cheek.
“oh my god, you’re crazy!” he cackles, leaning on the table with a disbelieving gaze in your direction.
you giggle as well almost painfully, resting your head in your palms. “stop, i’m going insane. all i can think of is politics now,” you wince. “how’d you know i was studying that?”
jungwon gives you a smirk that makes your heart flutter involuntarily, “dunno, maybe ‘cause i’ve been watching you sit there since what.. three, two pm?”
you groan, “don’t remind me.”
the raven haired boy sends you a sympathetic glance before picking up his washcloth, continuing to scrub the table in front of him. despite the fact his arms must be aching by now, jungwon puts just as much effort into his duty as before. your eyes shimmer with admiration, watching him bite his lip in concentration.
“once i’m done with these last tables, i can help you go over it one more time before closing.” you jump slightly at his sudden suggestion, almost getting lost in the comforting sight of this stranger.
you raise a hand in disagreement, “oh, no, you must be dying to go home, you don’t have to do that.”
“true,” jungwon admits, “but.. i don’t wanna say bye to you yet.” an unreadable glint is in his eyes as he stares down at you from across the cafe, the ends of his lips perking up in amusement at your gaping expression.
what does that mean? your heart pounds faster in your chest, gulping down an incoming burst or butterflies.
“o-oh. in that case, me neither.” you find yourself fidgeting like you’re back in high school, talking to your first crush.
he beams at your words, “great, give me five minutes.”
at that moment, you decide that you’ll definitely be coming back to this cafe, exam or not.
if you enjoyed, reblogs n’ comments are always appreciated!
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pepperonijem · 1 year
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vii. a dream within a dream || all my love
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream ." - A Dream Within a Dream; Edgar Allan Poe
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Summary:  bucky barnes ocassionally lives out his dream of being a hallmark holiday movie protagonist. only on weekends. Pairing: Bucky Barnesx f!Reader Warnings: food mentions Word Count: 2.8k A/N: sorry for the random hiatus. it has been a very difficult last two weeks, with school, the passing of one of my favorite artists, and just general business of life... but here y'all goooo
previous chapter || back to library || next chapter
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“Bucky,” Steve sighed in frustration. “You’ve missed the turn three times already. We’ve been circling this block for twenty minutes.”
“Steven, with all due respect, please shut up so I can see better.”
“I’ll shut up when you finally make the –” Steve was cut off by Bucky making a sharp left turn and he grabbed the handle above his window. “Oh my god, this isn’t Mario Kart, use your brakes.” 
“Well I made the turn didn’t I?” Bucky huffed at Steve as he readjusted his wheel. Thankfully, the streets weren’t too busy at this time of night. Bucky glanced over at Steve who let out a chortle of disbelief.
“I guess that’s true,” he admitted.
“So why was everyone being so weird earlier?” Bucky asked, referring to the weird shift in events that occurred when he stopped at Scott’s house.
The question seemed to catch Steve off guard as he let out a surprised cough. “Weird? What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about why Natasha seemed to be hauling your ass to the front door, and how Wanda suddenly got food poisoning less than half an hour after I called her,” Bucky said flatly, glancing over at Steve, who was staring outside of the window, pretending to be interested in the empty and clear night sky.
“Oh that? You know Wanda has IBS, she’s really sensitive about it,” Steve replied a little too quickly.
“Okay…” Bucky dragged out. He very well knew that Wanda did not have irritable bowel syndrome, having eaten many meals with her. 
Steve turned back around to face him. “Why did you only ask Natasha and Wanda to go with you?” he asked in return.
Now it was Bucky who was caught off guard. “Well, they’re uh… they’re the most entertaining people to roadtrip with.” The words left his mouth a little too quickly and Steve responded with an unconvinced nod.
“Oh, I’m sure Sam would be happy to hear that,” Steve teased. Bucky rolled his eyes with a huff. 
“What are you doing right now?” Bucky asked as he noticed Steve rummaging through the glove compartment of his car.
“Looking for snacks,” Steve replied, as if it was obvious. “I didn’t get a chance to eat dinner.” As if on cue, Bucky’s own stomach began to rumble. He hadn’t really had the chance to eat all day, choosing to spend all of his time planning this surprise rather than making meals. He was slightly annoyed, but saw that they managed to make up for some time and had a bit of lee-way before they needed to be at the airport.
Without looking down, he reached down and handed his phone to Steve. “Look for a fast-food place and we can grab something to eat.” Steve hummed in response, unlocking Bucky’s phone.
“Uh, Bucky,” Steve announced, looking up from the phone with a hint of panic. “You have a lot of missed messages and calls from your roomie.”
“Shit,” Bucky cursed under his breath. At the next stoplight, he grabbed his phone back to check the messages, and sure enough, there was a slew of notifications all from you. 
neighbor 💩 (8:10 p.m.): jimothy where r u rn
neighbor💩  (8:10 p.m.): if you’re out can u pick up mcdonald’s pls, i’m craving chicken nuggets
neighbor💩  (8:13 p.m.): nvm, i think i actually want taco bell
neighbor💩  (8:15 p.m.): OR ACTUALLY, aren’t u hanging out with everyone tonight? Can u bring home some of the soup wanda makes? it’s the only thing keeping me sane rn
neighbor💩  (8:35 p.m.): Why is my dad calling and asking me where you are
neighbor💩  (8:37 p.m.): Why is Wanda saying you’re not at Scott’s house and that you and Steve are taking a roadtrip together
neighbor💩  (8:39 p.m.): if you are with Steve tell him to answer his phone before I find him and leave him stranded in the woods myself
(3) Missed calls from neighbor💩 8:40 p.m.
Neighbor 💩  (8:50 p.m.): James Barnes i swear to god… i can’t believe you didn’t tell me my dad’s coming in!!
Neighbor 💩  (8:51 p.m.): u better be driving safe… that’s precious cargo
Neighbor 💩  (8:52 p.m.): anyway i haven’t decided if i’m mad or happy that you planned this whole thing without telling me… find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z
“By any chance,” Steve started sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down at his own phone. “Is this supposed to be a surprise?”
“That’s correct,” Bucky confessed, setting his phone down as the light turned green once again. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”
“Well, not anymore,” Steve said sheepishly. 
Bucky looked at him, eyes wide with panic. “You told her?” He asked loudly.
Steve raised his hands in defense. “I didn’t know! You know I’m terrible with secrets,” he pouted. 
Bucky took a deep breath, calming himself down. “It’s fine,” he said. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s fine. It’s fine right?” 
Steve nodded back. “It’ll be fine,” he echoed. “At least we’re almost there.”
After a half an hour, the boys finally arrived at the airport.
They were greeted by the familiar figure waiting at the curb with an excited smile and a friendly wave. As Bucky pulled the car into a stop, he took a deep breath before getting out of the car to help his guest load into the car.
“Bucky!” your dad exclaimed as he pulled him into a warm hug that Bucky wasn’t really expecting. “Nice to see you.” He peeked over Bucky’s shoulder to see Steve waving to him from the passenger’s seat.
“Steve, is that you?” He asked with a cheerful smile as Steve nodded sheepishly. He too received a hug through the window, before entering the car himself.
As they headed home, the three boys in the car found themselves in pleasant conversation as they caught up on life.
“How’s your application going, Steve?” Your father asked from the back seat.
Steve hesitated, looking out the window as he finally answered. “I uh, I sent it in last month. Just waiting to hear back from them.”
As if noticing a shift in Steve’s demeanor, he switched his focus to the boy in the driver’s seat. “What about you, Bucky? What are your plans for next year?”
Just like Steve, Bucky hesitated before answering. “I think I’m going into education,” he exclaimed, as if the words surprised him as well.
“Oh education?” Your dad hummed thoughtfully. “Your dad always thought you would go into engineering or something science-y. What made you decide on education?” 
Bucky smiled as he replied. “A good talk with a good friend.” He didn’t miss the way Steve looked at him with an eyebrow raised, but decided not to mention it.
An hour later, Bucky pulled into the driveway and put his car in park. He hadn’t even opened his door before the back seat passenger door was being swung open and he heard your voice ring in his ear.
“Dad!” you called, pulling him out of the car and into a warm embrace. As Steve and Bucky got out of the car you immediately latched on to both of them as well, surprising Bucky. Maybe hugging runs in the family? He thought.
“Bucky,” you said firmly, now pulling away from him. Your eyebrows were furrowed together and your eyes looked glassy and— were you mad?
“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m— I thought it would be a cool surprise and I—” 
“Why are you apologizing?” You asked incredulously. “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” Now you had wrapped him into another hug, but Bucky let himself relax, relieved that you weren’t pissed off at him.
Before he could say anything else, you had already moved on to Steve, joking with him about how he sucks at keeping a secret, and inviting him to stay just a little bit longer before heading home. Steve nodded sheepishly, even after seeing the 11:57 p.m. blare at him from his phone screen as he checked the time. 
Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, thinking to himself that it was weird for him to find your mix of emotions and giddy excitement so endearing. However, he found himself still leaning against the car, in awe that he managed to pull this surprise off. Part of him felt like the protagonist of a Hallmark Christmas movie, moving heaven and earth for the girl he lo– 
Bucky let out a cough, not letting himself finish the thought.
As he watched you drag Steve into the house, Bucky found himself alone with your dad who was still gathering the last of his things from the trunk.
“Oh, let me get that for you,” Bucky insisted as he grabbed one of the bags. 
Your dad thanked him as he shut the trunk, turning to face Bucky but making no effort to move toward the door of the house.
“Bucky,” he called, his voice much softer than it was at the airport. “I’m guessing she’s the ‘good friend?’” he pat Bucky on the shoulder as he nodded sheepishly, looking down at the ground.
“Let me give you some advice, kiddo. Don’t think too much, life is so much better when you don’t.” With that, he also made his way inside, leaving Bucky alone in the icy chill of the night. 
What did he mean by that? Bucky thought. I think a healthy amount, no more and no less, in fact, if I wanted to stop thinking right now I could. See? I did it. For a whole 5 seconds I stopped thinking. Or maybe he—
“Penny for your thoughts?” Bucky’s ears perked up at the sound of your voice. You walked over to where he was leaning against the hood of the car, looking into the night sky. 
“I’m not really thinking about anything,” Bucky shook his head. “At least, nothing important.”
He looked down as you handed him a blanket. 
“Well if you’re gonna sit here and think about nothing important, you should at least stay warm,” He unraveled the blanket, placing one side around his shoulders and extending his arm as an invitation.
“Join me for a bit?” Bucky surprised himself as he asked the question, and had to resist the urge to tense up when you shifted closer and allowed him to wrap the other side of the blanket around your shoulder. 
Thankfully, the silence that followed was peaceful, and when you broke it with a quiet voice, he found himself leaning closer to hear you.
“Thank you,” you whispered. 
“For what?” He asked, giving you a gentle nudge, inviting you to speak up.
“For everything,” you answered. “For every late night study session, for bringing me back tea and croissants when you go to the cafe, for bringing my dad here. I feel like you’ve done so much for me, and I’ve just been kind of… a parasite since the beginning.”
Bucky felt his heart lurch at your words. A parasite? How could you think of yourself that way?
Your father’s words echoed in his head once again. Stop thinking so much, he told himself.
So he turned to you, and told you exactly how he felt. “You’re not a parasite, you’re a catalyst.”
You scoffed out a laugh, playfully punching him on the shoulder. “What does that mean?”
Bucky rubbed his arm, pretending to be in pain as you rolled your eyes at him. “It means,” he began. “That the moment you walked through that door, everything changed.”
“For the better, I hope,” you added.
“Well, for reference, I was finally invited to one of Tony’s exclusive karaoke parties. He said I’m a lot more fun these days. I even sang a song.”
You raised your eyebrow at him in curiosity. “Oh? What song?”
He shook his head, refusing to tell you, until you poked his side and he all but fell. “Dancing Queen by ABBA,” he admitted in embarrassment. “Don’t laugh.”
“I’m not laughing, I didn’t laugh,” you said with your lips pursed tightly together, trying hard to fight a chuckle. “What did you score?”
“100.”
“No way.” 
Bucky nodded sheepishly as you finally let out your laughter.
“Okay, okay, I believe you,” you relented with a nod. “The Bucky I met in August would have vomited at the thought. I guess I may have rubbed off on you a little.”
“See? This is a symbiotic relationship.” Bucky chuckled, playfully punching your shoulder.
“Alright, alright,” you relented, pulling the blanket off yourself and turning to extend your hand to Bucky. “Now let’s head inside so we don’t freeze.”
A cozy meal and a few board games later, the clock read 4 a.m. and everyone was starting to lose it. Your dad had turned in two hours ago, after the first round of Monopoly ended with you claiming total domination and Steve and Bucky going bankrupt. After you begged your father to stay up, he promised he would only take a nap and that he’d be up by seven a.m. to get breakfast with you.
Still full of energy from the day’s excitement, you forced Steve and Bucky to stay up with you to play a round of Catan, only for you to be falling asleep halfway through it. 
“Steve,” Bucky groaned sleepily as he lazily dropped the dice out of his hands. “Make us more coffee–”
He was cut off by Steve slapping his hand over his mouth. “Shhh.” Bucky sat up and slapped his hand away. “She’s finally knocked out.”
Sure enough, your soft snores were coming from the couch as you lay there peacefully, giving Bucky and Steve time to finally escape. Steve got up first, trying his best to move silently.
“I’m gonna make a cup of coffee before I head out,” Steve whispered to Bucky who nodded.
As Steve headed to the kitchen, he tried to stand up carefully from his spot on the floor in front of the couch you were on. He didn’t make it very far before he heard you call out to Bucky.
“Stay?” your voice came out with the softest puff of air, and he wondered if he imagined it.
If Bucky had any more self control, he would have walked away.
But when you reached your hand out in search of his, how could he bring himself to leave?
So instead he knelt back down beside you and decided that once again, he would stop thinking and let himself be in the moment. And in that moment, he was well aware of how his heart hammered against his chest and how his lips were quirked into a smile. Have you always been cute, or was the lack of sleep finally getting to him? Chalking it up to his sleepy deliriousness, he allowed himself to be just a little reckless. 
He looked down at where your hand was still in his, and with his free hand reached up to brush a hair out of your face, his hand freezing when he felt your hand twitch in his. Your face grimaced just a little bit at the disturbance and he finally let out a breath when it settled back into a look of peace. 
“Sleep well,” he whispered out before giving your hand one final squeeze as he pulled away, taking note of how cold his hands suddenly felt. He balled his hand into a fist and quickly opened it again, aware of all the blood rushing back into his fingertips. 
As he stood to drape a blanket over your sleeping figure, he noticed Steve had returned from the kitchen.
“She’s out,” Bucky informed Steve who nodded back absent-mindedly, not quite looking at him. “Do you want a ride back to Scott’s?” 
“Hmm?” Steve hummed before finally turning to Bucky. “Oh, no it’s fine, it’s a short walk and the weather is nice tonight.”
“You sure?” Bucky asked with his hands in his pockets, stifling a yawn.
“Yeah,” Steve nodded back with a small smile. “The coffee woke me up.” 
Bucky relented and walked Steve to the door before finally making his way into his own bed. Against his better judgment, he found himself replaying the few minutes you sat outside with him, looking at the stars. 
He let out a sigh, reaching for the book that rested on his side table, Pride and Prejudice, untouched since the day he read it at the cafe. However, he did not grab the book itself, but rather the bookmark that kept his page – a pink envelope still sealed, addressed to him. 
Maybe one day I’ll open it, he thought to himself. But not today. 
And with that, Bucky slipped into a deep slumber. 
Maybe I’ll dream of you.
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murky-tannin · 1 year
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Rant below cut about the post election politics plot in general
Ough i'm gonna be so real I think I hate the entire president thing. I'm so so over randomly instated illogical systems and laws made for easy content in smps. It's literally the most basic and overdone mcrp smp conflict. It's in everything, even before the dsmp and it's never been satisfying in execution unless dramatics are completely excluded and that's just not the case with the qsmp.
I had hope during the election it would be unique and finally at least partially make a decent storyline. With how they were discussing using the role of president to not do shit like instate dumb laws and instead avoid using the "privileges" given by the Feds at all/only using it for things like getting the islanders more freedoms instead of restricting them. It was one of the reasons I didn't want Forever as president- I knew he'd play it the way he currently is despite his claims otherwise during the elections and I'm just. So tired of it.
I appreciate both the cc and character but actually enjoying him in general is gonna be really hard until the presidential shit gets left behind (which unfortunately isn't likely to be anytime within the next few months). Because his character imo is being irrational in his actions in the most boring way possible. And no one else (just like. Every other smp ever) realizes or cares how weird it is he's started trying to instate really unneeded or wanted restrictions and laws. Like if you changed the label from "President" and the crap we associate with it (stuff that doesn't apply to the Federation aka actual definition) almost none of Forever's actions make sense.
I've realized today Bad's character actually questioning and challenging qForever was the only thing keeping me sane and now that the cc is stopping that due to hate and his character is just. A laughing stock for his disagreements? The last thing keeping me from despising this whole thing is gone. The politics of qsmp are plenty interesting without having your character randomly decide to add jails or rules simply because they were given a label of president after months of discussing why those kinds of things were bad and how he'd actually be trying to do helpful things. Not gonna bitch to ccs about it. Just fucking sucks because it so heavily is involved with my favorite parts of the qsmp and my favorite characters. Wish I just watched qsmp for like- Philza or something rn. Then again I haven't slept in like 48 hours maybe it'll be slightly more tolerable tomorrow
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b3comingme · 1 year
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Life really just fucking sucks rn. Literally the gym is the only thing keeping me even slightly sane
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freedomfireflies · 5 months
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It is the height of summer where I am and I just got sick like a cold and everything and I can't eat ice cream your fics are literally the only thing keeping me sane (And stopping me from sneezing on my sister who is hogging ice cream in front of me rn) ilyy soo much this is slightly tmi I'm sorry btw I'm just so tired and bored ❤️❤️🎀🎀
Oh no, I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling well!! Sending you ALL the best get better wishes!!! I’m also so sorry about the loss of ice cream but I hope you get to eat tons when you’re better!!
Also you’re the cutest ever, I might cry??? Never too TMI, I’m glad you popped in to say hi!! 🥹💞💞 if there’s ever anything I can do, just let me know!! MWAH!
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dokiyeom · 1 year
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DORI DEAREST 💔💔😭😭😭💔💔😭😭 mmm i will have a lot of free time & since it's the last trimester of the school year and most exams are alr done, it will be less stressful + more fun so yay! but i will still have to study for my two last exams but i hope i can get more into writing & prepare for uni!! im also planning on throwing a bday party for my 18th bday in april so yayaya 🥳🥳
aww no :( i hope ur doing better and that ur well!! SENIOR TRIP??? hello that sounds so cool ! ive always wanted to go to japan so that just sounds super fun 2 !! no no igu it's the same where i live, u basically only see Dutch people during the holidays because they (+ english tourists) love this area LMAOO
NO NO ITS ALRIGHT HAHA i was only sure because he posted a bunch of other pics without the mask yk so don't be embarrassed 🙏 ok and what if i watch an episode today . what then . BUT YES DO SO!! i love it when people ramble about shows or other stuff 🫡
YAYAY scoups said they would have a cb in april and another one this year during caratland but he didn't mention the exact date so im just patiently waiting for the official announcement 🤭🤭 since im an april baby ill just ask my friends to get me that & ask my 1 kpop fan friend (that sounds funny idk why) to organize it since it's pretty complicated to buy an album with all the versions 👎👎 IM AN ARIES .. or a taurus?? april 20 baby here so it's right between them yk? but i did some research about zodiac signs and personality and bla bla bla && decided im more an aries hihi 😇 also why are u losing ur mind over photoshop im curious, tell me all about it!!
dori dearest indeed :D ykw i should start making individual tags for my moots so i can tag dori dearest on these :DD and aagh excited for u to have free time !!!! i’m vv much looking forward to reading whatever u write !!!
thank uu !! i just hung out w family friends && we had malatang && sukiyaki + milk tea & a strawb matcha chiffon cake that i baked + two whole tomahawk steaks && played sm mahjong !! i don’t have any cousins/extended family where i live,, so my family friends have really grown to feel like my family ?? and i literally love them sm,, like hanging out w them today has absolutely made this month exponentially better :D
&& yesyes im actually going back to japan for a bit next month,, so hopefully i’ll b able to buy some tickets to more popular exhibits n stuff domestically in advance for the trip w my friends :D ticketing there is literally insane if ur buying them internationally omg,,, vv much a nightmare process && DORI UR DUTCH ?? woah omg :000
if u watch an ep,, PLS LMK LMAO i need people to talk to abt hospital playlist bc it’s my literal fav thing ever,, like istg it’s the only thing keeping me sane rn :0 AND ALSO HELLO UR BORN ON 420 && SHARE A BDAY W JAY FROM ENHA,, stop i’m so jealous i literally share a bday w,, noah centineo,,, && aagh i hope it’s released around a time that’s convenient for ur friend to buy the album as a gift for u !!!!! tbh if it’s that time too,, mayb i can find it for slightly cheaper in japan :00
and dori. i’m like. constantly losing my mind over photoshop and sudoku. and digital magazines that require paid subscriptions to read their articles. but photoshop is just,, vv difficult to navigate atm bc i’ve only started using it a month ish ago to learn graphic design !!! so i still have a long way (and many more headaches) to go until im comfy && can use photoshop fluently <//3
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july-19th-club · 5 years
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fellas, is it gay if you write your buddy a note addressing him playfully as 'dear sir ___' and then tell him about how he taught you what love truly meant? is it gay if you sign it with your full name? is it gay if the recipient stores it between the pages of a book of prayers, where it won’t be found for years until someone else enters the house where the book has been sitting and opens it up while dusting off the shelf? trying to decipher the code of an old Christmas card I found while cleaning the house I'm going to rent and im about to go totally spare
#dont reblog actually im just thinking a lot of thots rn#i did very much have a panic when i realized what it was bc this is private personal information and the owner of the house#is in fact my own uncle a lifelong bachelor#so i have not re-read it and i could be completely wrong but fellas#now im sitting around thinking about how the worst thing about the closet is that it hides us from each OTHER and#how no matter what i won't bring it up with him next time i see him. could never disrupt someone's privacy like that#twas an accident i even saw it#i just. how many others have i known and loved in my life who i could have been honest with if only we felt safe enough?#how do we break out of the cycle and stay sane? how do we keep our families in our lives without resigning ourselves to silence?#how do we thank each other? how do we move forward?#the thing of it is. the thing is. this is one of those relatives who id speculated about. but i didnt really think that. it was just#a way for me to feel less alone. and this is the super-repressed catholic side of the family#(as opposed to the slightly more liberal catholic side)#so how many of his siblings know or knew? do their opinions factor into how little i realize i know of him?#there was a period during their teenage years where he and my dad didnt speak for two years. i never knew what it was about#i dont ever want my nieces or nephews or cousins to not know who i am#but already thats' whats happening#i just. dont tell them anything adjacent to my sexuality or gender#and they just draw their own conclusions#i dont want that to continue#but at the same time i know and understand exactly why it may
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hi i fucking love your izzy x readers you just manage to capture his energy so well. very sick rn so may i request a steddyhands / izzy x sick!reader? con o neill's tweets and izzy fanfics are the only thing keeping me sane rn. thank you <3
Steddyhands Taking Care of their Sick S/O:
Izzy's mouth twisted in disapproval when he spotted you across the deck. You were leaning against the ship's railing with your head hung, seemingly taking a moment to collect yourself. You were obviously unwell, had been for a day or two but you had repeated brushed off your partners' concern. However, your illness seemed to be getting worse before it would start getting better.
"Take a break, yeah?" Izzy's voice made you jump a little, you had been so focused on trying to will away your headache that you hadn't even heard him approach.
"I'm fine, just need a minute," your assurance was instantly undermined by the following sniffle and cough.
"Seriously, take a break or I'm telling Stede you need bedrest," Izzy threatened. You just nodded, making sure to hold back another cough until Izzy left your side.
The first mate certainly didn't look convinced but he walked away anyway, and you were able to let out another series of coughs.
You had managed to shuffle over to the rigging, lazily tying the knots, your mind a little too fuzzy to fully concentrate.
And the next thing you knew, Stede was approaching you. "Sweetheart, come back to the cabin for some tea, won't you?" he asked, making it sound like an invitation rather than an order.
"Izzy sold me out, didn't he?" you asked with a small sigh, seeing right through the act.
"He's only worried, come on now," Stede insisted, not really giving you much of a choice as he guided you to the cabin you shared with the three men.
You didn't have the strength nor the desire to fight him as he sat you down on the settee, giving you a sympathetic smile before he turned his attention to pour you a cup of tea.
Stede handed you the cup and sat beside you as you sipped from it. You could taste the honey he had sweetened it with instead of the usual sugar. You couldn't help but sigh slightly, the warm liquid was soothing for your scratchy throat.
You were about half way through your drink, Stede having prepared himself a teacup, when Edward came out of the bathroom. You had been wondering where he had gotten too.
"Got the bath filled up," Edward announced with a smile, his face softening slightly when he saw you. Your nose reddened and eyes lidded.
"Thank you, love," Stede grinned, taking a generous sip from his tea.
"Guy's I'm fine, really," you mumbled, only for your insistence to be followed up by a sneeze.
"You're ill, love, you aren't going to deny that are you?" Stede gave you that look. The look that told you he already knew the truth and there was no point arguing with him.
"No," you muttered stubbornly, lifting your teacup to your mouth.
"So, you're going to finish your tea, have a warm bath, and then rest in bed," Stede told you. Yeah, you weren't going to be able to argue with him about this.
"And that's an order, love," Edward added, just in case you missed that they weren't giving you a choice.
"Fine," you whined but you knew it was for the best, you felt exhausted. Your limbs heavy and head aching. The more you thought about it, the more you liked the idea of letting them take care of you.
You soon finished your tea and your captains led you into the bathroom, checking that the bathwater was still warm before assisting you into the tub. With kisses to your forehead, you were left to relax among the scented bubbles. Although, you couldn't really smell whatever they were scented with.
Leaning back against the tub, you allowed yourself to soak in the bath. Lazily washing away the sweat that built up over the morning, letting the warm water loosen your muscles. Letting your eyes flutter closed, you almost fell asleep, and you almost didn't stop yourself.
You waited until the water was cooling before you climbed out of the tub, drying off with a fluffy towel before putting on your robe (gifted to you by Stede, of course) and wandered back into the cabin.
Edward's head perked up from where he was sitting on the couch, picking at some of the biscuits from the tray that Izzy had brought in at some point. Stede was on the other side of the cabin, turning down the bed.
Izzy only smirked a little when you shot him a half-hearted glare. Of course he hadn't even waited to rat you out to Stede, that man was annoyingly convincing and Izzy knew he would get you to rest. You would thank him for it later.
"Roach made you soup," Izzy informed you, gesturing to the bowl on the tray.
"It's very good! He said it was a family recipe," Stede insisted, fluffing up one of the many pillows before joining the three of you in the seating area. "Eat up and then rest," he sat you down beside Edward, who instantly pulled you into him and brought the soup closer.
Stede was a naturally caring and nurturing partner even if he lacked a lot of real world experience, not having any real role in caring for his wide or children whenever they were under the weather. They had people who took care of that, something a part of him regret now.
Izzy lacked plenty of relationship experience but was used to take care of people, well taking care of Edward anyway. He may not be the most nurturing person but his acts of service would keep you well and fed if nothing else.
Edward, on the other hand, had never really taken care of anyone, he never really had too. However, he had the desire too, at least when it came to the three of you, the people he loved. So, when he insisted on feeding you the soup, which was fantastic as Stede had promised, you couldn't deny him. Plus, it was nice to be doted on.
After eating and finishing another cup of tea, Stede led you over to the bed and tucked you in. Izzy laughed fondly at you being tucked in like a child but you could only roll your eyes a little. It was nice to be cared for and fussed over. At least Edward had come to your defence, elbowing his first mate playfully for teasing you.
"Get some sleep, and just call if you need anything," Stede ordered softly.
"Thanks, Stede," you smiled, fully deciding to just give into them. You were already feeling a little bit better. Stede smiled, leaning down and kissing your forehead. "Careful, you'll get sick too," you joked, playfully pushing him away by the shoulder.
"Then you'll just have to take care of me in return," Stede shrugged.
"Promise," you murmured, already feeling sleepy.
Stede gave you another sweet smile before leaving you be, you surprised yourself with how quick you fell asleep. Your partners made sure to move around the cabin, coming and going from the room, as silently as possible. The last thing they wanted to do was disturb you.
You had no idea how much time had passed by the time you started waking up, but you did know that you felt warm and stuffy. A different warmth than the usual Caribbean weather.
You mewled slightly when something cool was laid across your forehead. You opened your eyes slowly, blinking away the fuzziness to be greeted by Izzy's eyes. Intent but soft.
He was sitting beside you with a basin of cool water and a damp cloth, one that he had wrung out before placing against your forehead.
"You've got a fever," Izzy told you quietly, explaining what you were feeling, already tending to you. "Best to sleep it off. I'll keep the cloth cool," he promised and you believed him without hesitation. You could already picture him sitting dutifully by your side, keeping the cloth damp and cool for you.
"Thanks, Iz, you're the best," you hummed, already falling back to sleep as you felt him adjusting the blankets around you.
Down in the kitchen, Edward pestered Stede with his concerns.
"Edward, you'll get sick," Stede reminded him, preparing a tray of tea to take back to the cabin.
"You saw them! They need us!" Edward practically pouted, as if he wasn't going to ignore Stede's arguments. "You'll look after me if I get sick, right?" he asked.
"Of course, I would, love," Stede sighed, though he felt fond about the man.
The next thing Stede knew, Edward was pressing a kiss to his cheek and hurrying out of the kitchen. Stede smiled to himself, shaking his head. By the time he returned to the cabin with the tray of tea, Edward was already in the bed with you.
His limbs wrapped around you as you sleepily cuddle into his chest. Stede thought it was a good thing that Izzy was out watching over the crew, because he would definitely have some things to say about Edward getting sick.
The sound of the door opening and closing made you stir slightly, snuggling further into Edward's chest. "Eddie?" you mumbled, barely awake, just checking he was still there as if he wasn't latched onto you.
Edward's heart soared at the little nickname and your sleepy tone. "Yeah, I'm here, it's okay," he preened at you seeking him out for comfort. "Just get better, we've got you," he cooed, holding you a little tighter.
It's fair to say that Edward definitely got sick as you got better. Stede had insisted that he had 'told him so' but, of course, he still fussed over his co-captain. Izzy had chastised him for being so stupid but still dutifully tended to him. Edward had talked you into cuddling with him now and again since he had done it for you, you couldn't resist his pouting but threatened him if he got you sick again.
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pwarkluv · 4 years
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❝ bubbly ❞ - pjs
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park jisung x reader | fluff | 3.3k words
WARNINGS | lowercase is intended, idol au, established relationship au, ngl this is really really fluffy, slight angst if you squint hard enough, idol!jisung x normal!reader, jisung and reader just miss each other :(, annoying dreamies who always tease poor jisung
SUMMARY | when you wait for him to come home from tour but accidentally falls asleep on the couch.
AUTHOR’S NOTE | this is my first fanfic on my blog oh my! mark isn’t here just cause he isn’t with the dreamies rn! i still love him though :) this is inspired by the song “bubbly” by colbie caillat! also this is not really your usual shy!jisung. he’s still shy but still kinda bold if that makes sense? idk idk this might really suck-
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one month. 
one month of lonely nights, calls at random times depending on the difference in time zones, kisses through the phone, and just overall missing jisung.
park jisung. your boyfriend.
even saying that in your head brings millions and millions of butterflies to your tummy. the maknae of nct and the main dancer of the dreamies was yours. and you were just as much his. 
but being away from him is one of the scariest things for you. jisung was like your rock and not having him there meant more frequently bad days for you. it’s as if you can’t function properly knowing he won’t be waiting for you once you come home. 
however, after a long four weeks he was finally coming home. the moment you heard his voice on the phone reassuring you that he’d be home tonight, you secretly bursted out crying, not wanting to make the older boy worry. 
the night he came home, you did some light eyeliner and wore simple clothing, not wanting to go all out since it would probably be late at night until he got home and to be honest all you wanted was to just be in his loving embrace. after putting on the gray hoodie jisung left for you and black leggings, you put your up in a messy bun. your stray baby hairs were peaking out.
you then drove to the dreamies dorm where you agreed to meet up, being able to see not only your boyfriend but your best friends as well. the managers let you in with a smile. they have always had a soft spot for you and lowkey loved you more than the boys.
sitting on the couch you waited. hours passed and still nothing. no notifications on your phone. no text. no call. the last form of communication you had with jisung was his phone call letting you know he was on the plane, about to take off. 
you were a little worried, wondering if he’s still on his flight or if he’s okay. but you didn’t really know the distance between where he was flying from and korea, so the flight could just be really really long.
you tried staying up, you really did. the movie you played to keep you entertained was slowly lulling you to sleep. it was already one am and from the long day you had, you just couldn’t fight off the heaviness of your eyes.
a few hours passed and you were knocked out on the couch, your soft snores filled the silence of the room as the movie was long over.
too deep in your sleep to notice you didn’t wake up to hear your phone ringing and buzzing, blowing up with texts and calls from your very own boyfriend. 
jisung was worried. you weren’t answering and the last form of contact he had with you was when he called you right before they took off. your excited voice made his heart swell and he couldn’t wish for anything more than the plane to hurry up so he can scoop his baby in his arms and shower you with kisses. 
it was a little weird to have those thoughts though. jisung? the shy baby of nct wanting to give kisses? if you told him that a year ago he would’ve laughed and asked if you were mentally sane. being an idol at thirteen meant knowing at such a young age the things accepted and shamed in the kpop industry. having a girlfriend or any intimate relationship like that meant hate and shame for both parties. but his reasoning to not have a significant other yet all washed away the moment he laid his eyes on you.
one year later and you’re the light of his life. sure his hyungs loved teasing him about you but to be honest, he’ll take any sort of teasing if it meant being with you. you were and still are his everything. although he is still really shy showing affection in front of them, he’d still pull you in for a kiss if he really wanted to. however once you two were alone, this man was the biggest bully ever. since you were younger than him by a year, he loves babying you and teasing you about your height. 
he’s still growing his confidence being like that with his members so there’s an occasional time where he’ll speak to you cutely, cause the other members to gape in shock, mouths opening and closing like goldfish in a tank. 
during the ride back to their dorm, jisung couldn’t help but voice out his worries to his hyungs, wondering if you were okay. 
“do you think y/n is okay?” jisung would ask every ten seconds, lowkey annoying the others. his leg was bouncing nervously as he stared at his phone screen, seeing all the unread messages.
“jisung don’t be dumb.” renjun sighed as he laid down, reclining the seat as far as it could go. “it’s three am for god's sake! she probably just fell asleep.” he reasoned with the younger, just wanting him to shut up. 
donghyuck laughed a bit with his eyes closed, feeling the fatigue get to him too. 
jisung pouted a bit before sighing back. “i mean i guess you’re right.” 
the pink haired boy reclined his chair back too before quickly sitting up in terror.
“jisung what’s—”
“what if she’s being kidnapped and—“
chenle threw a pillow at him to shut up.
-
jisung flew out of the car, not caring if his luggage was still in the trunk of the car or if the others were still behind. the only thing he cared about was you. 
fumbling with the keys to the dorm he managed to open the lock in record time before face planting on the floor, tripping on the random shoe on the floor. the boy was ready to throw hands with the footwear until he realized who it belonged to. 
y/n, he thought. 
quietly walking through the dark dorm he sees a light coming from the living room and hears the snores he’s been wishing to hear in person for a whole month. 
❝ it starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose ❞
his feet suddenly felt like jelly looking at your peaceful form. you were gorgeous.
his nose scrunched up in happiness after noticing you were wearing his hoodie, the one he specifically wore for a week straight after knowing he’d be away for you for a month. 
with shaky hands, jisung slowly swats the stray hairs from your hair, a smile on his lips. as carefully as he could, he removed the blanket covering you sleeping form to slip in beside you on the couch.
❝ wherever it goes, i always know❞
the feeling of your warmth snuggled up against him still makes his heart hammer and at some point jisung was afraid you’d wake up to the sound of his thumping heart. instead however, you just nuzle your head into his neck instinctively making his face heat up. you really had an effect on this boy.
❝ you make me smile, please stay for a while now ❞
in moments like these, jisung really takes the time to appreciate how beautiful you are. don’t get him wrong, you’re gorgeous all the time. but when you’re unconscious, eyeliner slightly smudged, hair up in a messy bun and in his clothes, these are the most beautiful moments for him.
the smile on his lips evident as he thinks how nice it would be to come home to you like this for the rest of his life.
❝ just take your time whoever you go❞
rubbing soft circles into your back, jisung was ready to fight donghyuck when he came into the dorms like a mad man. the moment hyuck opened his mouth, your boyfriend was already shushing him with a glare, being careful to not lose the rhythm his hands had on your back. 
hyuck’s eyes widened a bit before smiling softly at the two. 
“jisungie is in loveee~” he teased the younger as the rest of the members came walking through the door, their eyes landing at the soft sight in front of them. 
jaemin looked at you two so happily. he knew how much you made their maknae happy and how much their maknae made you happy. you guys were a match made from heaven and he loved you for always bringing a smile to jisung’s face.
jeno’s eye smile was out, snickering a bit at how disgustingly fluffy jisung looked. the shy boy he grew up with was so confident (or well, more confident than usual) when it came to you. you brought out the best in the boy and jeno couldn’t thank you enough for that. 
chenle just rolled his eyes with a small smile, walking towards his room. he loves you two, don’t get him wrong. but sleep is calling him. lowkey though chenle loves to see you two together just cause the room gets brighter. your happiness and content being in each other’s arms makes everyone in the room happy too.
renjun bit back a smile, wanting to tease the younger. 
“i told youuu~!” he poked at jisung’s cheeks, bending down to look at your sleeping form fondly. looking at jisung’s red cheeks he laughed, causing the boy to glare again.
“shush you’re gonna wake her up.” he whispered.
renjun narrowed his eyes a bit before scoffing. “you’re lucky i like her and want her to sleep, unlike you.” he rolled his eyes but his smile showed he wasn’t really mad. 
after everyone left, jisung turned his attention back to you immediately cooing at the drool falling down your mouth. it was a little disgusting, he wasn’t gonna lie, but you’re cute so he let it slide. jisung was about to go for a kiss until he heard an annoying voice whisper in the back :
“jisungie is in loveee~”
the pillow that jisung threw at hyuck is what woke you up.
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aceinspace691 · 3 years
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Techno and Wilbur with 20?
Sorry that this took so long! I'm working on a ton of thing rn but I hope you enjoy! This turned out way angstier than I intended but ahhh hope it's good enough!
Prompt from here! ( prompts are currently closed but I'll reopen them soon I promise :] )
Warnings for swearing, injuries, fear, keeping a person against their will, angst Word Count ~1100
------Like a Rat in a Trap------
When Wilbur had begun his day, he hadn’t really planned on getting caught. Not that any sane borrower would plan on it, but still, it completely threw off his life plans. Those consisted mostly of just staying hidden and staying alive, but who cares about details?
It started when he ventured into the human’s bathroom, into the cabinet under the sink. He needed to get more floss to make rope with, and it seemed like a safe bet to do it now. It was well past midnight, likely around 4 in the morning. But in the darkness of the space under the sink, Wilbur couldn’t see much.
This usually wasn’t much of an issue; Wilbur knew the path by heart now, so he’d be able to get through and to the cabinet door without an issue. But as he neared the door, he was stopped as something threw him off balance and onto his side, hearing a loud snap echo in his ears and feeling weight on his leg.
There was a moment of pause where Wilbur thought hey, that sounded a lot like a mouse trap, and then the pain started. It felt like his leg was on fire and it hit him all at once. He was screaming before his brain caught up, and even as it did, he found he couldn’t stop. He shoved his hands over his mouth, willing himself to shut up, shut up, shut UP! before the human woke up and came to investigate.
But god, that was so hard to do. His face was soaked with tears and he drew in shaky breaths between sobs.
And then, as if things couldn’t get worse for him, he felt vibrations of footsteps, and they were getting closer. No, no no, no no no no no. The sound of the light being flicked on was the only warning that Techno got before the cabinet door opened and light flooded into the dark space. He cursed and removed his hands from over his mouth, pained whines and gasps leaving him. And then he steeled himself, and moved quickly, reaching for the metal bar that was on his ankle, trying to pry it off of himself and failing to do so.
A cry escaped him as the human reached for him, and he flinched as a rumbling voice said something, but the cloud of terror in Techno’s brain didn’t allow him to actually decipher it. But it sounded panicked, for some reason.
Another whimper escaped him as the human moved his hand back closer again, and Wilbur shielded his head with his hands, curling into himself as much as he could. And then, he felt more pressure on his ankle and he instinctively tried to jerk away, biting back another cry as it sent another wave of pain up his leg. The human grumbled again, sounding displeased, and then, a moment later, the weight was off of him.
His head shot up in shock, but it meant that he saw the hand coming. It didn’t matter; he couldn’t go anywhere, couldn’t move fast enough, and the hand wrapped around him.
It was surprisingly gentle, with obvious care taken to avoid his limp ankle yet keep him firmly in his hand. He was sprawled on his back, a thumb bigger than his torso gently pinning him down and lifting him into the air. Wilbur blinked spots out of his vision as he was lifted, and his vision slowly refocused on the human holding him. His body was wracked with trembling. He tensed as he felt the vibrations of the voice as the human spoke.
This time, he actually made out what the human was saying, even with his mind fuzzed with panic and pain, and it sounded distant despite the proximity.
“I’m so sorry.” The voice was monotone, but no less genuine than one would expect. “I didn’t think – I mean, you’re definitely not a mouse, and you’re a tiny person.” A sharp laugh that made Wilbur flinch escaped the pink-haired human. “I’m not entirely sure I’m not dreamin’. Or hallucinatin’. Maybe I’ve just been awake for too long.”
“I-I’m real,” Wilbur found himself saying with a shaky voice, “please don’t hurt me. My foot, I can’t move it.” He could feel the panic bubbling up inside of him again as the human began walking, jostling him and pulling a whimper from this throat. He heard the human click his tongue in concern before he was placed onto a counter.
“I think it’s broken.” The human was saying, pushing his pink hair out of his face as he leaned a bit closer. “I’m really sorry about that. I’ll fix it, I promise.” He gave the borrower a considering look for a moment before pulling out his phone.
“Wh-what’re you doing?”
Techno glanced up at the boy on his counter, frowning slightly. “Figurin’ out how to reset your bones. I think it was a clean break, so it shouldn’t be too difficult.”
“Don’t!” The little dude sounded panicked again, not that he had ever really calmed down, but still. “I’ll be fine, just let me go.”
“Listen,” Techno leaned a bit closer, and Wilbur cringed away as much as he could, “it’s not safe for you to not have a functional foot. I’ll fix it and keep an eye on you until you recover.”
“But-“
“No.” Techno said sharply, and it almost made him feel guilty with how the little guy flinched. But it was the tone that said ‘that’s it’ and ‘that’s final’ and the little humanoid just ducked his head. “I’m sorry, but I need to fix this.”
He reached forward and hushed the borrower as he tried to protest, and before long, the bone was reset.
“You still need to stay off of it, okay?” Techno was saying, and the little guy died nothing for a second before immediately getting to his feet and trying to run. He stumbled almost instantly, and Techno steadied him with a finger. “Hey, what did I say? Listen, I’m not above sticking you in a jar if I have to.”
Wilbur fell silent at that, slumping defeated back onto the counter.
“So, what?” He challenged weakly. “I’m like, your petor some shit?” He spat the word and continued, trembling. “Or some kind of pity project?”
Techno let out a sigh, loud and long, as he fixed the borrower with a stare.
“It’s just until your foot is healed properly,” Wilbur pressed his lips into a line at that, “I swear.”
And Wilbur just had to hope that the human wasn’t lying
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wcnderlnds · 3 years
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better with you / colin zabel x reader.
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Pairing: Colin Zabel x Reader Description: Colin goes to his reunion, gets drunk and you end up having to take him home. Warnings: alcohol mentions Word Count: 1165 A/N: hello i love colin zabel with my whole heart so expect more fics of him. again ya girl is sick and writing is the only thing keeping me sane rn so if its garbage we blame that.
Paperwork was your least favourite part of the job but Mare had given you the task of going through and filling out things that needed to be filled. It wasn’t like you could protest either — you were under Mare’s guidance. See, you had worked in the precinct for the better part of two years now. Most of the time you were situated at a desk but wanted to do more. Mare had seen how dedicated you were and decided that maybe she could teach you the ropes, get you out there on the field. After all, you had all the qualifications there just wasn’t use for so many detectives in Easttown. That didn’t mean there couldn’t be another. Honestly, Mare could use the help especially with the case she was on now.
They’d brought in a County Detective by the name of Colin Zabel. He was a good guy, best at his job but Mare wasn’t too keen on him. She didn’t trust him — she didn’t trust anyone, to be honest. But, you and Colin seemed to get along really well. You laughed at his dumb jokes, he was always willing to stay late and help when you were swamped with paper work — it was nice to have him around. You hadn’t had someone like that in a while. Most of your friends had moved out of town or had families that they spent their time with so Colin’s company was more appreciated than he’d know.
Besides, he was cute and there was the slight chance that you were harbouring a small crush on him. Mare knew it, too. Every time she caught you laughing at one of his stupid jokes or saw how you blushed when he said something nice about you she couldn’t help but roll her eyes.
“Don’t stay too long, (Y/N), okay?” Colin’s voice caused you to lift your head up from the paper you’d been focused on. He sat on the edge of your desk, jacket slung over his shoulder.
“I’ll try not to,” you smiled. 
“If I didn’t have this reunion, I’d stay,” he sounded almost sad at the fact that he couldn’t stay behind. Instead, he had to go spend time with his friends but all he wanted was to be with you.
“It’s okay! Go have fun.”
With a smile, he left you alone to finish what you were doing. Only a few officers were left around the precinct. They were the unfortunate ones who’d taken the night shift which would mostly end up being calls to stop bar fights and the odd home call. One of the officers brought you over a coffee to which you thanked them with a kind smile.
*****
It must have been only three hours later when you got a phone call from Mare. She’d informed you that Colin was at the bar she was at and in pretty bad shape. Apparently, he was drunk out of his mind talking about an ex fiancee. Colin had only spoken a handful of times about his ex but you knew it was a sore subject for him. That’s why you found yourself in the bar. Eyes scanned the place and soon enough you found Colin at the bar, leaning against it to hold himself up.
You made her way over to him, sliding past people in the crowded bar. He looked up and a bright smile adorned his face when he noticed you sit on the stool next to him. “Well, hello, pretty lady.”
“Hey, Colin,” you chuckled. “You doing okay?”
“Me? I’m fine. Completely fine. Hey, barkeep,” he waved over the bartender. “M’lady here will have a white wine and… just give me more of that… that drink I was drinking earlier. I can’t remember.”
You glanced at the bartender, subtly shaking your head to let him know that you didn’t want the drinks and that you were going to get Colin out of there. “I’m guessing the reunion went well?”
“Uh, yeah. I mean, I saw my ex but… pfft.”
“I’m sorry, Colin,” you placed your hand on his that was resting on the bar. His eyes shot down to your hands then back up to your face. 
“I… just… I don’t get it, y’know? How do you wake up one day and not love someone anymore? Am I not good enough?” his eyes watered, his hand fully holding yours now. 
It broke your heart to see him like this. In your eyes he deserved the world and nothing less. This man was nothing but pure heart. He gave his all to everything he did, he was friendly to everyone he met and he never once treated anyone like they were below him despite being one of the best detectives around. It was all of that that made you have feelings for him. All you wanted to do was tell him how incredible he was.
“Listen to me,” you started, bringing your free hand to rest on his face, thumb gently brushing across his cheek. “You are more than good enough for anyone. I’ve never met someone so… selfless. You have a heart of gold, Colin Zabel. Anyone on this planet would be lucky to have you. I…I’m lucky to just know you. My life has already been better for it. She didn’t deserve you and it’s her loss. One day she’s going to realise she lost the best thing in her life and I know that because every day when you walk into that office, my day is instantly brighter. You are… just, the best person,” each word was spoken softly, eyes never leaving his.
It seemed like your words had sobered him up slightly. Not enough for him to think rationally because once you’d finished speaking, he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours in the softest, most gentle kiss. Fireworks exploded in your stomach, the sparks between you two more than you’d ever thought they’d be. It was short but it was enough. Besides, he was drunk. There was a high chance he wouldn’t even remember any of this in the morning. That thought broke your heart but you tried not to think about it.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” He hung his head.
“It’s okay. Come on. Let’s get you home,” you got to your feet, putting your arm around his waist for support.
“I’m lucky to know you,” he smiled his little drunken smile at you as he threw his arm around your shoulders. “The world sucks but every second I spent with you makes it suck that little bit less. I…, man, I’m crazy about you. So crazy about you.”
Colin kept drunkenly rambling as you helped him home. You tried not to dwell on what he was saying too much considering how drunk he was but what you didn’t know was he meant every single world and he would be sure to tell you the next time he was sober.
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fancyfade · 3 years
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spirographs are the only thing keeping me sane rn
(link to where i made them)
id under cut
[image: a series of computer drawn spirographs, which means it's a bunch of loops and circles in patterns. First, there is a rainbow of various ellipses around a central point, with the red ellipses being the skinniest and most irregular looking and the blue and purple ellipses being hte most circular.  next there are two circles with very complex webbing patterns in them, first one that is jsut blue and then one that has purple lines right next ot the blue lines. next there's a black background with a lot of yellow bright loops around the center, orange loops going further out, and red pointy edges at the way end giving it a feeling of glowing slightly. next spirograph drawing starts with a blue triangle, then each progressive drawing has more loops near it so it looks more like a triangle with then loops attached to each end? in purple and red. next it continues further and gets a more circular feeling like it has been spun with yellow and orange in the center. next is a long oval ellipsis with a lot of red and orange and yellow interlapping patterns. next spirograph drawing has a complex pattern of pointy red loops, slightly less pointy orange loops, then a yellow circle surrounding the center. next elipsis has a lot of blue loops that interlock to create the feeling of a circle in the middle, then a purple circle slightly further out, then a yellow circle and then an orange circle. in the background are more loops of blue, yellow, and red.end image]
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princessrainbows · 4 years
Text
Genuine Laughter
Title: Genuine Laughter
Warnings: Mentions of; Depression, Suicidal thoughts/attempts(maybe?) Alcohol intake. (The reader is the depressed one out of the paring!!) Mention of the reader’s Quirk being Teleportation. Ends with fluff
Words: 2k+
A/N: I’ve been wanting to write something for a while now. Seeing so many of the Keigo x reader blogs that I currently follow rn, has hugely inspired me to write up a small drabble!
Paring(s): Keigo Takami | Hawks x Fem! Reader
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             Depression is like battling a 200 foot Dragon every day. It’s not something so easy to overcome. Many people don’t even know when  somebody they know have depression whenever it’s brought up in a conversation.
They’ll think that everything is fine and dandy, and that the person who mentioned the mental illness is trying to find attention when, in reality...They just want to be loved, cared for, and helped. They don’t want their thoughts to be true, they want to be saved from them.
So, when you, ever so casually, mentioned that you felt like dying one day to Keigo, it caught him off guard. It really bothered him that somebody  so smart and so powerful just...Wanted to give it all up. “Hey hey, what’s the matter dove? Something bothering you” He asked, noticing that you where....Off, and have been for a long while now that he thought about it.
       That night stuck with you. The fact that he picked up on your casual self-loathing habits of talking about death so casually like that, surprised you to say the least. Most of the time, people around you would either scoff or just ignore you, or Meme your mental illness, thinking that’s what you wanted to do since, that’s what you’d always do to hide the pain you felt all the time.
Being a hero isn’t that easy. Especially with a quirk as powerful as your own, your in constant demand all the time. Always teleporting everywhere to save people and give back-up to pro-hero’s who need it. And now that you where sought out by The Commission people who raised Hawks, you’ve become his body guard so to speak. Sure, he might be fast, but, you can match up in speed thanks to your quirk.
So, not only are you in high demand, you never get to catch a break! Hell, you didn’t even want the spotlight! So, this made you start becoming depressed. You where so busy all the time. You barely got any real decent rest, you hardly have time to yourself for a nice bubble bath, or read a cool book.
You did your best to hide everything from everybody. You’d play it off and fake-laugh with people that would question whether or not you where really okay or mentally sane at the time of the conversation/interaction.
         But, you didn’t take into account for Hawks noticing it. He noticed everything. He noticed your facial expression visibly changing with every minute of the day depending on your mood. He’d notice the way you’d get snippy at different people if you’d woken up to a particularly bad mental day for you. He EVEN noticed that one day when you locked yourself up in your bedroom at his place around 8:30pm at night. He heard your weak sobs underneath the blanket.
The man was like a Dog with his hearing. he heard and saw everything. But, he knew that if he asked, you’d joke it off and turn down his help.
It wasn’t until when things got REALLY bad for you was when he stepped in and demanded that you explained everything to him. You had three drinks that night after poppin’ in quite a lot of Tylenol pills for your severe Migraine you where having that same day. You just wanted it to stop so you could be Okay for once.
After some prying, you finally told him what’s been happening. You told him that you’ve been battling with Depression and your Suicidal thoughts for the past several months. You even mentioned that your PTSD was starting to act up again, which just made things worse for you in the end.
He didn’t show any emotion. he just...Stared at you, in pure shock. You’ve been battling this battle by yourself this entire time that the two of you have been seeing each other, you’ve kept EVERYTHING to yourself until you blew up and tried ending it all.
It terrified him. He didn’t do anything out of worry that he might make it worse for you, but also, he felt like he should have done something, ANYTHING to have helped! “...Oh god........I’m so sorry” was all that he could really say before you passed out from being so damn tired, drunk, and dizzy from the Tylenol pills you took that day. Falling right into his lap, all he did was let you stay there and fall asleep.
------------------------------------------
             That happened two months ago. You never really FULLY changed but, you noticed that you weren’t as bad as you where back then. Actually, you made a little chart marking down the Really Bad Days, from the Good/Okay days, and you’ve never had a single Really Bad Day since then. You’re days from two months ago to now have just been Meh/Okay and sometimes, even Good!
Today was different for you. When you woke up, it was around 11am, you felt...Light. Like as if you where floating in the air. But, it wasn’t a bad feeling by any means! Which lifted your spirits up quite a bit.
You reach to your cell phone and check your stuff, ignoring the majority of it except for Keigo’s messages (and selfies) and your Boss’ message, which woke you right out of bed! You blinked at it with your glasses on and notice a message from him: [”You’ve been invited to a Pro-Hero exclusive Gathering. Along with Hawks, Endervour, and many others. Dress nicely, and behave.”] Blinking several times, you groaned, falling back on the bed with an arm over your eyes, pouting in annoyance, “I hate fancy parties...” you sighed out loud.
Today was a really good day for you and your mental state. You weren’t smiling by any means but, you weren’t frowning either. You did your usual routine before heading out to work, since you’re with the Commission now and not some Hero agency, you’ve been given permission to have your own schedule (with the help from Hawks so that way he could keep an eye on you of course.)
“---And since I’m in a good mood today....I’ll give you a minute of a head start to try and run.” You say before grinning as you watched the group of bad guys try and flee with the stolen loot from the local store you where shopping at for a Brunch. “Too Slow..” You commented, teleporting right in front of them, grabbing the enemies uniforms and rolling your eyes as they tried running.
The police where called, and you where thanked for your efforts, “Wow! You look happy today y/n! Something happened?” The officer noticed your mood and commented on it, you shrugged, giving a slight chuckle, “Nothing in particular! I just feel good today that’s all~” you cheered before waving them off, seemingly having left them dumbfounded by your response.
           You had a really good day of just, doing whatever you wanted! Holding your drink in your hand with a small snack in the bag in your other hand, you walked by a clothing store with several outfits in the window. You noticed a very nice looking dress with a paired Tuxedo beside it, shrugging you walked into the store, you DID need a dress for tonight’s Por-Hero exclusive Gathering after all! Even if they weren’t your favorite thing to wear.
“Hi there miss! Welcome to our store! is there anything that I can do for you?” You where greeted by a worker who wore a very nice business suit, you took a pause from your drinking and looked at her outfit, “Actually...Yeah. Can I ask where you got that outfit? See, I’m heading to a fancy ball and stuff...But, I’m not that much of a Fancy Dress type of person.” You replied, gesturing your jaw at her outfit, as to not point since that would’ve been rude.
“Oh sure! We actually just recently added these types of outfits to out store so, we’d be happy to have a pro-hero wear one!....You are Pro-Hero Y/N correct?” You nodded in response, sipping on your drink. You followed the business woman to the stores selection and looked around...The shop was nice despite how cold it was.
It didn’t take you that long to find what you wanted. Coming out of the change room in front of the business woman, you stood there with a blows, a nice pair of black work pants, fancy black shoes, and a nice jacket to cover yourself with. Once you changed out of it and went to the cash, you purchased the outfit and thanked the woman for the help.
           You returned home with your now, not so hot Brunch and outfit in tow, getting ready for the fancy ball party for tonight while eating at the same time. You weren’t positive that you were going to have a good night but hey, you where invited! You couldn’t say no! Especially since you where in a good mood, you figured ‘eh, why not? Keigo’s gonna be there anyways so~’ and went with it.
A few hours had past, and it was time for the gathering. You rode in a somewhat fancy vehicle to the location of the party. Getting out of the car, you could already tell that eyes where on you. You ignored them, and thanked the driver and went into the building.
Using the elevator, you went up to the highest floor, which was a party room dedicated to pro-hero’s and their parties. You were slightly nervous since your mental state was still...Not exactly the best but, a lot better than a couple months ago. Putting those thoughts aside, you walked into the entrance area. You saw two doors both opened with two guards there, one stopped you and looked down, “Ma’am, this is a Pro-Hero party. Please show proof that you’ve been invited or we’ll have to remove you from the premise.” You sighed in annoyance, knowing that the guy was just doing his job. You pulled out your Hero License and showed it to him. He nodded and allowed you in.
Walking into the main area, you stood in awe, ‘They really went all out huh?’ You thought to yourself, staring up at the fancy decorations that seemed to blend in well with everything else in the room. You took in the atmosphere, not used to the Party life At All, staring off into the area as you listened to the soft music playing on the small stage area. “Wow! I didn’t think you’d show up of all people!” You hear a familiar voice from a loud woman behind you. Her grin was wide and she was excited to see more people coming to the party, “Yeah....The Commission had invited me over. I’m assuming it’s to keep an eye on hawks since he’s been invited as well...” You automatically noticed the wingless man near the farthest end, standing beside Endervour, laughing it up with the small group that gathered there for the night.
“...You know y/n. Most of the public knows your not a party person. Just imagine the press when they get a hold of this! ‘Y/N seen at a fancy Galla ball with Pro-Hero Hawks by her side!’ haha, they’ll get a good scoop for that one~” She chuckled, patting you on the back shoulders gently before walking towards the crowd giving them a wave. You groaned...You really hate the media being in your face all the time. So, something like this would DEFINITELY, be a pain in the ass to deal with.
----------------------------------------------------
                 The party continued on for the night, you talked and hung out with everybody at the party. You also did your job and reported to your boss at what was happening with Hawks, telling them that he was behaving well and having a blast. Once you sent in the report, you decided to spend the rest of the night with Keigo, walking up to the small group of pro-hero’s that he was telling a story too. “---And even tho I was trying to make the poor woman laugh, safe it to say, that didn’t help my situation at all. it just made the other’s more angry--” The group chuckled with him, and you just rolled your eyes.
The party went on like this for hours. By the time you where ready to go back home, it was around 12am. You and Keigo spent the last hour going home. He was just a tad bit drunk and a little bit silly as well, trying to handle him when he’s a bit drunk was hard but, you somehow managed.
“Hey.....Hey y/n....” He mumbled, trying his best to keep what little composure that he had left. “Yes Kei?” You asked, grunting while you placed him on your couch, grinning, he pulled you down into a cuddle, you didn’t mind it at all. Since you were quite tired from the party, having been out for a long time on your feet for the most part.
Keigo wasn’t really talking per say. He was mumbling random words in between some cute sweet nothings to you as he held you close to him. “Hey...y/n?.....” He whispered in your ear, first telling you how much he loved you...And then, telling you a silly joke that was, actually pretty funny! You couldn’t help but snicker then laugh in his chest, burying your face in it, you snorted off and on until you could breathe from the laughing again.
Keigo blinked in surprise. he managed to make you laugh.....Like, genuinely laugh at one of his jokes. He didn’t put any thought into it at all, he just went with it, and that made you laugh until you snort-laughed in his chest.
           This made your night. Just that one time with Keigo on the couch, making you laugh. You felt at ease, happy, even safe. You don’t want to forget this night, you want to cherish it for the rest of your life.
With Keigo being your partner, your depression and suicidal thoughts where a little bit easier to handle. Because you were no longer by yourself dealing with them anymore. You had Keigo to help. And you knew that this man would do anything to make your life, a little less painful to deal with.
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FINALLY SOMEONE WITH OPEN REQUESTS THANK YOU 🥰🤗 This will suddenly take a dArK tUrN- can you do a Paladins (and Allura) x dying reader? Haha idk but I'm in it for the angst and crying 👌👏 You seem like a wonderful person so keep on being wonderful (*˘︶˘*).。*♡
my cousin gave me the BIGGEST judgemental side eye when she asked what I was writing about and I told her character deaths, I’m tryna not to fite, y’all I ain’t gonna lie imma throw hands frfr
also, so sorry this took so long, I’m pretty sure I rewrote it like five times tryna get it to my damn satisfaction (which is such a nasty habit, don’t reread you’re own shit if you want an honest opinion on it y’all)
also also, I’m on mobile rn so I can’t cut it so just so all y’all know:
DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO DEATH/GRIEVING. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT DEATH AND GRIEF AND IT IS MAJOR SAD BOI HOURS AND I WORRY ABOUT YALL AND DONT WANT YOU READING THIS IF YOU KNOW YOU WONT HANDLE IT WELL😤😤😤
this is a long one bois so if you wanna skip around they’ll all be colored as per usual and the order is: Shiro, Lance, Hunk, Keith, Pidge, Allura
please enjoy lovers🥺💜🌸
»»»»»»»»»«««««««««
The battle wasn’t an easy one by any means, it was touch and go for the whole team. You knew it wasn’t gonna end well, but that had never stopped you from putting forth your all. You swung your weapon, keeping your enemies at bay as much as you possibly could. Your team was all over the place, the enemy having succeeded in separating everyone in hopes of tipping the odds in their favor. It worked.
You couldn’t keep up alone. Fighting had always been instinct to you, you had never felt so overwhelmed as you had in that moment. They were closing in and you had nowhere left to go and no tricks left up your sleeve. You were stuck, and there weren't any quick enough plans to keep you out of harm's way this time.
You held your ground for as long as you could, refusing to give in easily. You fought until your limbs were too exhausted to move and your breathing was too shallow to continue. It was in a moment of hesitation from sluggish movements that they finally overtook you, and you felt pain spread through you, worse than any you had ever felt before.
You heard shouts of panic, you listened as the battle got thicker and the enemy retreated, you smiled at the sound of victory. Your team shouted in excitement, another battle well fought, another win for Voltron.
Attempting to sit up, you felt pain rush your body once again, causing you to groan. Your team's cheers quickly died down as they took in your situation. Before you knew it, your head was being cradled by the person you wanted to see the most at this moment. Their eyes were filled with concern and tears were brimming. You attempted a soft smile, in hopes of comforting them. Your breathing was shaky as the brushed your hair away from your eyes.
“You’re going to be okay.” They promised.
Your last thoughts were of your family, earth, the realization you’ll never feel rain on your face again, of your team, who you hated abandoning, and finally, of the one person you hated leaving the most. You knew you weren’t making it out of this one, you despised you were going to pass in their arms. You wished you could turn back time and fight a little harder, you wished things could be different, that you could live the life the two of you dreamed together.
“Don’t blame yourself.” You whispered in response.
They shook their head in defiance. “Don’t talk like that. We’re gonna get you to the castle and into a med pod and you’re going to be good as new in no time.”
You shakily lifted a hand and brushed a tear from their cheek. “I love you.”
Their face was filled with pain and you knew the only thing keeping them from losing it was this being your final moments. “I love you.” They responded, their voice cracking. They leaned down and gently pressed their lips to yours.
You felt everything around you becoming further and further away.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered out to your team as you took a final shaky breath, your senses being overwhelmed as you felt yourself fading.
Shiro
The tears kept flowing as he watched the light fade from your usually bright, curious eyes. He pulled you into him as he sobbed into your shoulder, wishing you’d wrap your arms around him and tell him everything was okay, that there was no reason to cry. But you didn’t, and you never would again. Your team surrounded the two of you, tears running down their cheeks as well as they watched their leader completely break in front of them, their friend tucked in his arms unmoving.
He tried to move on. He knew you wouldn’t want him blaming himself or wallowing in misery on your behalf. He mourned you, he still does, but he needs to keep leading the team, he doesn't have time to let the memories of you being by his side drag him into complete uselessness.
It was hard, it took a long time, but eventually he could remember you, his lover, his everything, without crumpling immediately.
When the team got back to earth, it was raining. He stood outside, face tilted to the sky, just letting the water drench him. The rain reminded him of you, you always told him it was what you missed most about earth.
It was as he stood outside, head facing the endless clouds, lighting striking in the far off distance, enduring the first rainstorm he’d felt since before the Kerberos Mission, that he smiled for the first time since the morning before your final battle.
Lance
Once you had taken your final breath and your gentle hand slipped off his, all composure he had left was out the window. He screamed and sobbed in the middle of that battlefield. His team knew he had a tendency to keep his emotions at bay, so watching him break over your body, knowing there was nothing they could do to help him, was heartbreaking. They all shared his grief, but none on a level even close to him.
You had been his rock, you helped him keep sane and reminded him he wasn’t a horrible person. He sobbed harder as he remembered how excited you were to meet his family once all of you went back to earth.
After a while he just, stopped. He had run out of tears, he had his moment of grief, he had to stand tall and move on now. Or at least that’s what everyone saw. Every single day of his life, he blamed himself. If only he hadn’t let himself get separated from you, if only he’d gotten to you a little sooner, if only, if only, if only. In the end, he knew there was no changing the outcome, but that didn’t stop him from imagining worlds in which you were still by his side.
He never thought he’d dread finally going home, but as the team landed, and a woman that looked eerily familiar came rushing from the building towards them, he felt himself snap. HE crashed to his knees as the woman came up to the group, looking around at each of them.
“Where are they?” she demanded. “Where is my child?” She had tears in her eyes as she noticed Lance on his knees, holding back tears and hugging himself.
“I’m so sorry ma’am,” Shiro started but she just shoved him away.
“You let them die?! My child died in outer space, surrounded by a bunch of strangers, and you didn’t even try to save them?!” She had tears rushing down her cheeks. “Who do you even think you are? Do you think you deserve to ball up because of them? You don’t even know them! No, nevermind, yes, you do deserve to be down there, not out of pity, but out of remorse. This is all your fault, all of you! My child never should’ve come to this stupid place.”
He flinched as he took in the woman's words.
“That is enough ma’am. Your child died honorably, saving people, and they were our family. We aren’t just some strangers, we’re the people your child died for. So, in all due respect, I suggest you back away from your child's mourning lover and stop slandering the life they died protecting.”
Everyone shut up in shock as Keith put your mother in her place, causing her to take a deep shaky breath, tears slipping from her eyes at last as she took in his words.
Hunk
Your hand slipped out of his as your eyes fluttered shut for the final time. He didn’t rage, he didn’t scream or burst, he just silently held you a little longer, his tears running down his cheeks until they ran dry. He didn’t have the energy to leave you yet, he never thought you’d be the one to go first.
The team didn’t know what to do, Hunk had always been the emotional one of the team, never being shy with showing his feelings. He wore his heart on his sleeve without regret, but now, he just looked emotionless.
He tried to distract himself. He threw himself into engineering projects and every mission the team ran he put everything he had into completing. He stopped cooking all together, every time he even so much as looked at the kitchen door, his heart would break slightly more. Memories of the two of you spending hours in that room, cooking with space goo and assorted ingredients you found. It hurt too much to attempt doing something you were both passionate about without you.
He was silent as they finally made it back to earth, his family welcomed him home, having adr him his favorite dessert and everything, but he just didn’t have the heart to enjoy it. The two of you had spent countless hours sharing stories and memories and things you wanted to eat when you finally made it back, and that banana cake had been the one thing you couldn’t wait to try.
He cried himself to sleep that night, wishing he could change the past. It was difficult for him to find something to fight for, a future without you having been something he hadn’t considered since the two of you met at the Garrison all that time ago. He came to the conclusion that his heart would never recover, but that wouldn’t stop him from fighting for the future you so easily described to him, a future where aliens and humans could live in peace, where the Galra weren’t an enemy, where the two of you could live out blissful lives together, having done your time in a war that wasn’t supposed to be yours.
Keith
His breath got shallow as yours ceased, his heart racing as your own stopped all together.
“This can’t be happening. Y/n please! Please open your eyes. Please,” his broken sobs echoed as the Paladins watched him plead with your lifeless body.
They didn’t know what to do. The normally stoic red paladin was shattering before their own eyes, more emotions flooding him than they expected to be possible. It was heartbreaking to say the least.
They had all lost one of their own that day, but none felt it more than the broken boy.
You were his family. You stuck by him on earth when no one else would, you left the Garrison with him just so he wouldn’t be alone, where there was him, there was you, and now you were gone, and he didn’t know how to cope without you.
He changed. He was already pretty closed off from the rest of the team, he never really smiled a lot, he wasn’t an extremely emotional person, but after his outburst that day, he completely shut off everything. Jokes that Lance would tell that would once make him smirk fell on deaf ears, even Hunks cooking and Shiros dadly advice didn’t pull him out of it.
The team learned to just work around his new behavior, wishing he’d go back to being a hothead or something. Anything.
He pushed his hardest on every mission, fighting as though he had absolutely nothing left to lose, because, in his mind, he didn’t. He felt alone in a universe out to get him, he knew he had friends, a team, even family now, but he didn’t have you, and nothing would be the same because of that. He would never be the same reckless, hotheaded, careless red paladin he once was, because he did all of that stuff knowing you’d either back him up or smack him upside the head.
Everyone told him time would ease the pain, but as he brought flowers to the memorial grave they created for you, on the anniversary of that day, he knew that no amount of time given to him would ease the pain he still felt. Because he was too painfully aware that all of that time given to him was time taken from you.
Pidge
Pidge was never exactly one to attach to people, not really, and definitely not so emotionally. Attachment to robots? Sure. But human beings were a whole lot more difficult. Which is why when the two of you admitted to being in a relationship, no one saw it coming or knew what to expect, it was completely uncharted territory.
And now, as Pidge was hovering over your body, swearing to find a way to help you, they once again didn’t know what to do.
Pidge sobbed and made halfhearted promises, telling you that you were going to be okay, but knowing you weren’t, and you never would again. It took the entire team to pry Pidge off your dead body, Pidge immediately begging them to let go, just needing to be near you.
After the shock of it all wore off, Pidge holed up in the garage/workspace, working on this project and that, trying desperately to keep distracted, but nothing worked. Every single thing held a memory, every memory brought you back to life, and every memory would ease and you would just vanish all over again.
Countless nights were spent wrapped up in your clothes, with your blanket, in your/on your side of the bed, weeping into the familiar smell of you. Pidge didn’t express emotions very well, but it was obvious this time. The distracted mindset, the distant gazes, the quiet sobs no one else was supposed to hear, all of it made it glaringly obvious that Pidge was not okay.
Pidge took to wearing your clothing more often than not, determined to keep any and every part of you alive so the memories of you would never fade.
Pidge was never one to attach to people, but Pidge also never imagined a life where you weren’t in it.
Allura
She watched you drop from the other side of the battlefield, a heartbreaking shriek escaping her throat as she watched you fall. In her mind you were supposed to be invincible, you were her wonderful significant other that gave her a reason to keep going, you were always telling her that everything was gonna turn out the way it’s supposed to, that the two of you were gonna make it through anything that could possibly be thrown your way.
She ruthlessly fought her way to you, no longer caring for leaving as little harm as possible. They hurt you, they didn’t deserve her sympathy. Once she finally got to you, the battle had ended and the other Paladins had joined her in surrounding you.
“Help me get them to the pods.” Allura pleaded, clutching your lifeless body. “They have to be okay. They can be healed, we just need to get them to the pods.” She was frantic, emotional, scared, and panicking.
Keith gently grabbed her shoulder. “They’re gone, Allura. They’re already gone.” The Red Paladin pulled her into his arms and let her release everything that day.
Everything following was a blur. The team moved forward with plans and missions, Allura never missing a beat. There were points when the team was concerned with how well she seemed to be doing, she lost her lover and was seemingly perfectly okay. But late at night, if they listened close enough, they could here the stifled, choked sobs of the princess as she got out all the pent up emotions in preparation for the next exhausting day of not letting her personal life interfere with the mission.
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I might be the only one that got emotional™️ during this one, but I hope you all enjoyed🌸
~Admin Rori💜
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