#only that my partner did A Thing 12 years ago

[1zashreena1]

Got these today

And knew immediately what needed to be done

tiny doritos: superior

[weezerlvr228]

It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???

NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.

[thepixelelf]

Oh Baby, You - svt smau

The birth of your son three years ago was what caused your breakup with Wonwoo, your longtime (and at that point, long distance) partner. Now, you're getting concerned that Orion is starting to look a lot like his dad, but that's not your only problem. Wonwoo is back… and he's living across the hall.

Genres: smau, romance, drama, comedy, angst, single parent au

Pairing: jeon wonwoo x afab they/she reader x mystery member(s)

Warnings: coarse language, conversations about sex, mentions of pregnancy, mama/mom/mother is used to refer to reader's parental status sometimes, infidelity, light alcoholism, miscommunication as a plot device, some of the teenies are not so nice at times, slut shaming, angst, everything is unrealistically dramatic because this is basically a kdrama in text/twitter form. warnings may be updated as they come, but I will label chapters properly if it's anything major

Note: unfortunately, I did have to make the mc for this series have female reproductive organs because, well... that's the plot. I couldn't find a good way around it :( if anyone reading this is discouraged, please know that pretty much every other fic I've ever posted is gender neutral. So, if you think you might've liked this smau, please check out my masterlist! hopefully there will be something you like there :) ALSO! if anyone makes fun of Orion's name just know that it's the name of a precious baby cousin of mine and if you bully smau Orion you are bullying irl Orion!! do not touch him!!!

(new!) Updates will post when I have the time and motivation

The taglist is full! Leave a comment under the post linked here if you're not on the main taglist to be notified when Oh Baby, You is completed.

Profiles I: Orion's Prettyboy(gn) Posse

Profiles II: Wonwoo's Famous Friend and the Other Guys

Profiles III: Gyu and the Rise of Capitalism

1. Everybody Loves Vernon

2. Tens Among Tens

3. Grown Ass Men

4. I Hate This FUcking Family

5. The Ones Keeping Secrets

6. A LITTLE Curious

7. You Go Girl Get His Ass

8. The Calm

9. The Storm

10. It's Been a While

11. Fucked Up Coincidences

12. Not... a BAD Guy

13. Still So Affected

14. Just My Type

15. Nothing to Hide

16. Fists Up

17. Act Natural

18. Girl, They Blocked You

19. Plot Relevance

20. Actually it is a Date

21. It's All Pretty Confusing

22. Scripted

23. All it Takes is a Smile

24. Yoon Jeonghan is Watching

25. Completely Surrounded

26. No Such Thing

27. What Does That Mean

28. A Name I've Heard Recently

29. Can't Risk It

30. Errand Day

31. One Day at a Time

32. Confrontation

33. Not Looking to be a Parent Any Time Soon

34. What if I

35. For This Little Guy

36. Get Blocked

37. I'll Take Care of You

38. Messed Up, Stupid, and Jaded

39. You Fucked Up

40. That's For You to Figure Out

41. Need to Try Something

42. Recovery Mission?

43. Your Everything

44. You're Cute When You're Like This

45. Not Sponsored

46. This is Nothing

47. Promise? Promise

48. Hhrk

49. A Busy Afternoon

50. Cherry

51. Don't Freak Out

chapters loading...

52. Bad Guys

53. Everything is Fine

OBY Ask the Characters Game

[xetlynn]

Twilight Imagines- Embry Call

Imprint Mess

[Masterlist]

Requested by: @justannadahfanfictor

Summary: In which Embry and [name] are best friends but lately Embry has been avoiding her. Paul notices how down [Name] is and offers up a distraction. She takes it and Embry finds out the next day.

I sit outside on my porch, thinking about something Paul said earlier. Lately Embry hasn't been talking to me much. I purse my lips, not knowing how to take what was offered to me just hours ago.

Normally Embry, Quill and I hang out together in the afternoon but this past week it's like he wants nothing to do with me. Bringing Quill with him. I'd like to say I'm unbothered by it but I am not. At all. And since that I've had such strong feelings for Embry for a long time now. He's all that's on my mind since we were 12 years old, a year after becoming friends.

Everyone seemed to know about it except for the boy himself. Or he recently found out and this is why he's avoiding me. "Hey, you out here just to mope?" My sister sits beside me and I look over at her. "I'm not moping." I shake my head, taking a drink out of her soda can she brought out here. "Mhm, that's why everyone has told me you're not joining the cookout tonight." She takes the can from my hand right as I was about to drink it again.

The cookout is mainly the wolf pack talking about things. They invite peoples partners and certain family members that know about it. I only know because of Seth and Leah turning. Then I found out how Paul and the others did too. Later on Embry did as well, he told me immediately. We talked all the time. I don't know why he's acting so different. I sigh. "I just don't feel up to being with everyone tonight." I lie, well partially.

"Ah, okay." Leah acts like she's about to drop it but instead she starts talking again. "Have you talked to Embry lately?" She asks me, I look over at her with a bored expression. Then it's like something clicks in her head. "Is he the reason you're not coming tonight?" She questions me, her body lifting up dramatically as if this is crazy information. I scrunch my face, shaking my head. "Leah, please leave me alone." I plead with her.

"You can talk to me, y'know." She says, standing up from her spot. "Thank you but I just need a second." I give a short smile and she gives me a sad one in response before heading back inside. I look out in the road. I see someone walking up to the house and I begin to stand up to go inside, going to grab at the door. Not wanting to deal with a social interaction. "Wait, [Name]. It's me." The voice calls after me, I turn around to see Paul. I huff, standing up straight and walking off the porch to talk to him.

"I was hoping I didn't scare you off with my offer. I heard you're weren't joining us tonight. I needed to make sure you were okay." He tells me, I shrug my shoulders, putting my hands in my back pockets. "I am fine. I needed time to think about everything."

"I didn't scare you off?" He tilts his head, I laugh. "No, you didn't. I just- I'm still stuck on Embry. I don't know. It's stupid." I look at the ground, just feeling dumb about everything. "[Name], I don't think it's stupid. Embry's an idiot for not realizing what he has." He tells me and I don't respond, not knowing what to say to that. "Let me distract you." He whispers and my heart begins to race. I glance back to my house then to him.

I think about how Embry has canceled on me. I think about how he has been avoiding me, not understanding why. Treating me like a bad friend. We aren't even together, we've never really flirted to begin with. He doesn't have feelings for me so what does it matter. I finally give Paul my eye contact. "Not here. My siblings are staying the night."

He smiles, taking my hand and we go to his truck. There was a weird tension between us. The ride was silent until I decided to make a move. Place my hand on his thigh and trailing up. I was focusing on what I was doing until he gripped my wrist before I could move any closer. "I'm going to have to pull this vehicle over to the side of the road if you don't stop." He warns me.

I don't listen, and he ends up pulling into the driveway and we don't get out.

And after that we go to his house and do the same thing. The next day was not even awkward. We agreed we didn't have feelings for one another, this was a one time thing. Just a distraction of things we were both dealing with.

I got all my stuff together, throwing it on and using the bathroom to check if I look decent. Paul had left already and I don't know exactly when. He just left a small note on the bed beside me. I exist the house and begin to walk. It's a 2 mile distance from my house. Which isn't bad and it's nice outside surprisingly.

I think about last night, how everything went down and all I feel is guilt. Like I did something wrong. I feel sick to my stomach and it won't go away. The entire 2 mile walk of shame was just me practically bullying myself about my decision. I don't necessarily regret it.

I finally get into the yard of my house, tiredly I go to sit on the porch before going inside. I hide my head in my hands. Sitting there for a while. "[Name]."

And I get deja vu. I look up to see Embry. I furrow my eyebrows as he comes up to me in anger. "What's your deal?" I ask him, not getting up from my spot. He stands in front of me. "You hooked up with Paul?!" He loudly asks me and my jaw drops. I shush him, looking back at the house to make sure my siblings weren't eavesdropping or something. "Excuse me?"

"You hooked up with Paul? Out of everyone? Why would you do that?" He questions me, I stand up on the first step of the porch, now being the same height as him. "I can do what I want Embry." I cross my arms.

He seems stunned for a moment. "It just seems out of nowhere. That's strange, I feel like you would've told me if you were interested in... someone like him." He is kind of talking to himself. Not looking me in the eyes. I let out an annoyed breath. "Embry, why are you here?" I ask him.

"I thought we were best friends and I have to find out in a weird way that you're hooking up with Lahote." He says, I laugh rolling my eyes. "Best friends? You have been avoiding me and canceling our plans nonstop these past two weeks. Making me feel like crap. Who cares if I didn't tell you I slept with someone? What does it matter?!" I yell at him, pointing a finger in his chest. I can't believe he would blow up like this. I figured he would find out but he has no right to be upset. I then feel weird, like I need to be closer to him.

"I haven't been avoiding you." He scoffs, my eyes widen. "Seriously? Anytime I join everyone you don't talk to me and when I go up to you, you make an excuse to leave. That's not avoiding someone?"

It grows quiet and I shake my head. "I'm going inside. When you decide not to come at me all weird come talk to me, Embry." I calmly tell him, turning around to walk to the house door. The thing is, I can't get myself to actually open the door. "Wait." He sighs. "Please."

"What now?" I irritatingly turn back to him.

"I have been avoiding you but it's because I've fallen too hard for you. I needed to think about my feelings. It was a lot. I knew you didn't feel the same way. It was rude of me to avoid you though." He explains himself and my heart sinks. "I came at you because I was mad, I mean obviously. I didn't know you and Paul had feelings for each other and it hurt." He looks at the ground, ashamed. I let out a small laugh.

"Paul and I do not have feelings for each other. We did a dumb thing that's for sure." I rub my lips together in embarrassment before I continue talking. "I like you a lot Embry I've had feelings for you since we were 12. It's been 9 years. Which is just embarrassing in its self. Paul knew about it. He offered a distraction and I took it." I shrug my shoulders.

"I'm not proud of it but it's already done and I can't take it back. You hurt me by the way you avoided me. I didn't understand what I did." I tell him.

"Yeah I'm sorry. I'm an idiot." He takes the steps up the porch. Both of us sit down together on my porch swing. "You are definitely one. But I think I am too. So it's okay." I smile, clasping my hands together. "You really have feelings for me?" He asks.

"Yeah, unfortunately." I joke. He nudges me with his elbow. "I don't know where this leaves us." I tell him earnestly. He nods his head, agreeing. "I still like you. I hope you still like me." He says.

"I do."

"I'll take you out on an actual date and we figure this out together?" He asks, we both look at each other at the same time and I crack into a smile. "Are you sure?" I grin at him. "Yes." He smiles back at me.

"I would love to." I pull him into a hug. "I've missed you so much." I admit. "I missed you too, I'm sorry." He pulls me closer to him.

After a little bit I pull back and I think for a moment. "Did you go off on Paul?"

He chuckles, "No I didn't, He was thinking about it while we were in our wolf forms. He apologized immediately. I didn't respond to him. I just left to find you." He rubs the back of his head.

"Dang, at least it wasn't a huge blow out."

"Yeah, I had some sort of control. I was just hurt. I mean it's now a little weird knowing... everything. Also I think I imprinted on you in our argument." He informs me and I furrow my eyebrows.

"Is that what this overwhelming feeling is?" I ask, pushing away from him. Not mad, just curious about this. "I think so." He smiles awkwardly.

"So we're stuck together for a while." I say. "Yeah, seems like it." He pulls me back into his arms.

[joltai-showa]

still thinking about Obito's tendencies to hang upside down so why not talk about something even more funny

now Obito is obviously trolling the Konoha squad in that moment, acting like a complete idiot and weirdo and all, usual stuff for Tobi. Obito is being a weird little bat on purpose, it's all an act

you know who among Akatsuki, a very scary and a totally serious organization, also acted like a weird little bat, but without it all being an act?

allow me to introduce you to the final page of chapter 238

Kishimoto, why is Deidara's first appearance is him being upside down during Akatsuki's zoom meeting?

(which is supposedly the first one in 7 years since Orochimaru ditched them, but whatever, no fucking way these guys can remain semi-organized without a good old online meetup, I do not care for canon's opinion when it conflicts with my funny headcanons)

But seriously, it's been almost 10 years since I read the manga for the first time and there's still no explanation as to why Deidara did that LMAO. Logic dictates that it's simply Kishimoto not finishing up the designs for his new villains (rinnegan's design wasn't finalized until, like, Akatsuki Supression arc, I believe? there's someone TOWERING over Kisame who is 195cm already and at the end of the day remains Akatsuki's tallest member, etc etc), but I've got a PhD in overthinking Naruto details and turning them into shitposts that sometimes also turn into fanfiction, so I will take this one tiny detail and make myself laugh until I cry.

To me this moment is just so precious because it's actually a scene from OG Naruto, meaning that it's pre-timeskip, so Deidara here is only 16. And this just proves to me that Deidara's puberty (there is no exact indicator as to when Deidara was abducted recruited into Akatsuki, but I assume it happened sometime when he was 12, because during his recruitment we see Itachi (and we know that he joined Akatsuki after the massacre, so he was 13 and he's got a 2 year difference with Deidara), Kisame (who, judging by his pre-death flashbacks, joined AFTER Itachi, meaning some time had to have passed since the massacre) and Sasori (who wouldn't have a partner after Itachi joined because Orochimaru just couldn't resist trying to get that Sharingussy, but Akatsuki don't operate on their own in general, so I doubt Sasori would have been left without a partner for a long time, a year max) and during this zoom meeting 16-year-old Deidara speaks like he's very much aligned with Akatsuki's goals and grudges which would be very weird if he joined them against his will just recently, so a year or more would have to pass between Deidara's recruitment and the OG Naruto zoom meeting) was arguably one of the worst things that organization as a whole had to go through because teenage Deidara was JUST BUILT DIFFERENT.

Don't mind the fact that even as an adult he starts tweaking if he doesn't get to explode something every few hours (I would imagine that teenage rage and angst would only exacerbate this issue), but he would also just want to "look cool" and wouldn't listen to anyone in any position of authority AT ALL. Going back to this scene of Akatsuki's zoom call, we can see (and for certain characters assume because once again designs here are kind of wack) that these overly serious members like Pain, Konan, Kakuzu and Sasori are PRESENT and just... don't do anything about Deidara's antics? They just gave up at some point LMAO. And a while ago, I presume.

16-year-old Deidara, proud and puffed up as a lion: You can stay on the ground as boring old men you are, but I'm going to hang upside down today, hm!

Pain, the acting leader of this very serious and lethal organization that for some reason took in a 13-year-old and a 12-year-old because, I dunno, the real leader thought it would be funny, sighing: okay, Deidara...

I also don't believe that it was ever specified how Nagato's zoom jutsu works, but I think Akatsuki's members simply sit in whatever position they want and their projection is different from their actual position which means that. yeah. Deidara does a bat cosplay. because he wants to. baby why are you like that.

but I also like to imagine Deidara actually hanging on the ceiling during the meetup and the gang just going

Pain: Sasori, can't you grab a mop or something and swat him off of there?

Sasori, in the most dead inside voice imaginable: you are not paying me enough to do that. in fact, you would not last a minute in the asylum I'm living in. you can't give me 40 minutes of peace, can you?

honestly props to Onoki for finding a way to both continue using Deidara's skills for his goals (by just fucking paying Akatsuki and calling it a day) and keep the village intact, teenage Deidara just seems like the trial version of what Akatsuki members could expect on their missions. like, if you can't manage the stress of dealing with the (pony)tailed beast, you have no business trying to fight an actual tailed beast.

I'm also thinking that adult Deidara aka Shippuden Deidara would think himself really cringe for doing this shit when he was younger and feels kind of embarrassed in front of the other members (who unfortunately besides Hidan were there to witness his cringe bat phase of growing up in your local terrorist daycare organization), so he's pretty quiet during the zoom meetings when we get properly introduced to him.

That's, of course, until Deidara gets partnered with Tobi.

I can imagine the two of them competing who can last longer hanging upside down and now Pain really can't do anything to stop this bullshit because it's his actual boss and his clueless partner making their own bat nest during their zoom meeting. He just tiredly glances over at Konan who gives him a "I told you Yahiko was right and we shouldn't have joined forces with this guy, but when do you ever listen to me" look.

The gang would be discussing something like Kakuzu and Hidan brutally murdering Asuma (who's Obito's classmate btw and whose mother he already killed a while ago) and trying to steal his corpse to sell for some cash and in the background above them Tobi'll be yelling something like "senpai, watch what I can do" and start turning cartwheels on the ceiling.

tl;dr Obito and Deidara match each other's freak when it comes to doing weird shit for no apparent reason other than to fuck with everyone while on the job. thanks for coming to my TobiTalk

[skullvgirl]

an unexpected contestant : model au | bllk

incl. isagi, nagi, reo, barou, chigiri, bachira, sae, niko

warnings. fem reader

an's. dedicate to @chxxrybxxmb my idea plug ᡣ𐭩

❝ YN ! ❞ your manager called to you desperately, peeking her head into the room where you were getting your makeup done. She looked frantic and stressed as ever.

❝ Yes? What's wrong? ❞

She shook her head dispointedly. ❝ It's the boys again, it looks tense in here...❞

Oh lord...

You rolled your eyes and moved from your vanity seat. Your makeup was basically finished anyway and you already had your outfit on, so you carefully made your way outside the room too where the rest of the boys were staying.

❝ What's going on? ❞ you asked politely surveying the scene. It was Isagi ( and the others ) standing as far away from each other as possible looking like they were going to snap each others necks off.

Oh jeez I hope this isn't about...

❝ Oh finally thank GOD your here, now you can just decide for yourself ❞ Bachira sighed, pulling your over too the center of the shoot, beady eyes pleading.

❝ Decide what... ❞ you pondered allowed as the group of boys shared a silent look across the room.

Finally someone spoke up, it was Barou ❝ We want too know who your doing the BAZAAR set with ❞ he asked, looking just as hopeful as Bachira did.

You poped your hip too the sides and groaned, rolling around your tense body.

Of course it's about the BAZAAR set, why wouldn't it be about the BAZAAR set!

The room stayed silent as your loosed your body and you glanced back up too see everyone still standing there waiting for an answer, although your not sure what they wanted you too say considering the set was a whole month away—practically a lifetime too you.

The set was not only the most revealing set you would do this year but it was also going to be the most influential. Which is probably why they wanted to be your partner so bad, it would bring in alot of revenue for the company and give them a boost in their career. Your managers thought it would be the easiest task—just leave it up too the modle themselves, have her pick out a person from a group and be done. But of course you were careful with your decisions and just saying put a name so easily wasn't your thing and in fear of hurting anyones feelings you planned too keep it private.

Looks like thats not an option anymore...

The boys continued to stare at you. ❝ What are y'all looking at? I told you I still haven't made a decision, now scram your inturupting me and Bachira's shoot. ❞ Bachira grinned like a maniac and swooped a hand around your waist while the other boys groaned.

❝ See I told you she wouldn't spil. YN's like an EVVA lock, can't pick her at all! ❞ Isagi said crossing his arms and leaning on the chair.

❝ Doesn't really matter since she'll probably pick me anyways ❞ Nagi yawned, pocketing his phone to observe you and Bachira's position. You ignored him but his statement sadly didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the males.

❝ Unlikely, YN and I have already done the most duo sets together this year, us on BAZAAR would a complete set ❞ Sae said, his arms crossed in defiance to what Nagi said.

❝ You failed to mention a full duo set has too have 12 magazines and not 11 Sae. You only have 10 as of right now. ❞ Reo chimed in, looks like he wasn't backing down either—much too your demise.

Angry filled looks were still spread across the room and the photographers were getting annoyed at their noise. It was time too end this thing.

❝ Alright! Alright That's enough, I'll have made a decision by tomorrow okay? So just leave..your distracting us ❞

The boys seemed pleased with your answer and began filling out of the room one by one. Finally some peace and quiet.

❝ You know I love you the most YN...and i'd love too see you all dolled up for the BAZAAR set❞

❝ Meguru, dont. ❞

❝ Was worth a shot. ❞

1 month later

❝ YN come onnn, you said you'd tell us who you were gonna pick aggeesss ago! Ages ! And you still haven't What's the hold up? ❞ Bachira groaned as you were now in a room with the rest of the members all of them again waiting for a response.

❝ I wasn't even aware of this to be quite honest with you ❞ Chigiri said, folding his hands together. ❝ Guess theres alot of things that happened while I was away ❞

You sighed, ❝ I guess I can't put it off much longer can I...❞ The boys looked hopeful at that, and was now sitting on the edge of their seats. In the month that had past they all had gone great lenghts to please you, buttering your up with presents and sweetwords trying their best too get on your good side. But that wasn't really what you wanted.

❝ I choose... ❞ They all were holding their breath now. ❝ Niko ❞ You turned too the black haired boy and even under his bangs could see his surprise as well as his relief.

❝ Me..? ❞ He asked softly, almost not believing it.

❝ HIM !? ❞ Reo jumped out of his chair, pointing at the male in betrayal.

❝ What's the big deal? Niko's a great model plus he has the least amount of covers done here, BAZAAR will help him out ❞

❝ B-But I-I bought you a car, a porche ! ❞ he looked appalled at your decision and so did the rest of the boys there.

❝ On whose accord? ❞

He couldn't respond, he was left there gaping and confused.

❝ Niko but he's...he's a rookie? ❞ Isagi questioned. ❝ And I mean come on...a porche YN and porche ❞

❝ Uhn Uhn yall aren't gonna put this on me. Thoes things were from you. I didn't ask for shit. And anyways you wanted to know, now you know stop bothering me about it ❞

❝ Ugh that is so not fair ❞

❝ Meguru, seriously, dont ❞

an's. i only included everyone I thought could be a model fr 🙏 no ayru cuz idk how to write for him lol

[bbyobbyo]

To Mingyu, you were perfect. It was no wonder he was drawn to you when his long time best friend and roommate introduced you to him as his partner. Alas, you were perfect but you weren't his.

content: angst, fluff if you squint, suggestive (no actual depictions of sex), unrequited love, pining, gyu is a simp

wc: 729

notes: second attempt hehe, thank you everyone who read my vernon fic! feedback is appreciated, i'm still new here 😔👉👈

Truthfully, there was no better person for you than Wonwoo. Mingyu could at least admit that much. You complimented each other like yin and yang, supporting and uplifting one another in harmony. You were the much needed ray of sunshine and motivation in his life, and he was the structure and inspiration you wanted in yours. Over time your presence became a welcome constant in his life, first by association, then seemingly by necessity.

"She is the best thing to ever happen to me" his roommate would exclaim constantly, and Mingyu couldn't help but agree.

He tried to be happy for his friend, he really did. After all, why wouldn't he want the people he loves to be happy? It wasn't like he didn't want you visiting the apartment constantly, always with a delicious treat to share in hand. Nor did he dislike your genuine attempts to get to know him as a person, asking about his preferences and aspirations in life. In fact, it bothered him more and more that he wished you came over more often, even when his roommate wasn't home.

It was tortuous to hear the sounds in the apartment when you and Wonwoo thought he was asleep. Heavy moans and muted whines haunt his brain on those long nights filled with tossing and turning. The next morning he tries his best to pretend like he didn't see the hickeys littered on your neck just barely covered by your hair when he ran into you making breakfast. And yet, when you ask if he had a good night's sleep with an offer of making an extra serving for him, he doesn't have the heart to tell you the truth. That he spent the entire night wishing it was him in the bed next to you instead.

-

The day the world came crashing down on him was the day Wonwoo had told him about his plan to propose to you. An evening surrounded by his 12 closest friends that you have also come to adore, how perfect. It was so perfect that he didn't even have to think twice when saying yes when Wonwoo asked him to help film the entire affair.

"I trust you over Seokmin any day, that man can't keep a secret for his life. But if you tell her it's for a personal project, she won't suspect a thing!" he chuckles.

"Yeah," Mingyu mumbles back, not quite meeting his friend's eyes, "she won't see it coming."

-

Mingyu thinks he's going insane. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of photos from tonight and yet he's enamored by this one. You're absolutely dazzling, looking at the camera like you just discovered the lens, eyes turned into crescents and smiling cheek to cheek. How long has he waited for you to smile at him like that? And the first time you do, he's behind a camera. At your fucking wedding reception of all places.

"You like her." His head snaps up from the viewfinder.

"What?"

His older friend snakes a gentle hand on over his shoulder. "You like her, don't you?" Seungcheol repeats, voice barely above a whisper.

Mingyu says nothing, slowly directing his gaze back downwards at the camera, screen stuck on the photo of you he took only a few moments ago. He can't do anything but sigh. Seungcheol's expression softens, giving his younger friend's shoulder a knowing squeeze.

"It gets better."

God, he sure hopes it does.

-

Mingyu's attention fades in and out when you're reading your vows. It's ironic that on one of the happiest days of your life, he finds it impossible to focus on you when it feels like that's all he's done for years. It was a welcome distraction, however. He can't decide what would destroy him more: listening to you profess your love to someone that wasn't him, or knowing that you meant every word. You end your monologue gracefully with a small smile, holding back a sob as the groom begins his.

"You're the best thing to ever happen to me," Wonwoo begins, voice breaking as he bites back his own tears.

In another time, another place, Mingyu would've agreed with him. But in this moment, as you look at his best friend like he's the center of your whole world, Mingyu decides that you might have been the worst thing that's ever happened to him.

[bubbleddisasters]

Since Y’all liked the last one, heres something somewhat similar:

TWST Characters as funny / random ass moments with my friends/family

———-

Ace : A good friend of mine made an entire Cards against Humanity Deck including us, and we played it at like 4 am.

Also, one of my closest childhood friends of now 11 years, the way we first met was he insulted me, and then thirty minutes later I peeked at his notebook while he was drawing (our beds were next to eachother) recognized Sans from a meme, and then managed to bullshit through an entire conversation about Undertale without him suspecting I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about.

I made a joke about it a little less then a year ago, thinking he knew by now, but no. He looks at me and the conversation goes:

“Are you telling me our entire first interaction was you just fucking improvising through a discussion of a fandom you didn’t know shit about?”

“Wait you didn’t know?”

“NO?!”

“You genuinely believed that I knew what I was talking about then for 10 years?!?”

“Surprisingly, yes.”

Deuce: I was biking with my sister, and she accidentally biked straight into a fucking lake. Also when my dad looked me dead in the eye after receiving one of my graded tests and goes

“How the fuck do you answer Maine four times on different questions and be wrong for all four times.”

Bonus Adeuceyuu combo: Me and two of my childhood friends once linked together to grab something we saw in a river, turns out it was just a broken fishing rod.

Also another on me and the above two friends meeting: The first thing one of them did was insult me, and I genuinely have zero memory of how I met the other.

Basically, we met at a sleepaway camp as kids, and for some reason, our sleepaway camp had some wackass shit, but one of them was this game. I don’t remember the name of it, but you had to go in groups of 3-4 and tie ribbons around each staff tent/cabinside without getting caught (and keep in mind each campsite and Cabins were very spread apart) at midnight, and the first to return to the cafeteria, where the staff were waiting, and did so after tying them all, on won.

Kids age 12-17, in the middle of fuck knows where in the woods Long Island, running around in the dark unsupervised with only any light bringing items they brought themselves.

So me, and we’ll call them C and M, teamed up. It’d take too long to go into full detail, but it was a very Prologue Mines fused with Camp Vargas core adventure.

Bonus First year gang in general : Me and three friends were waiting for something I genuinely don’t remember in an abandoned dorm area and got extremely bored, and one of them could do a perfect Donald Duck impression, and another a really good goofy, and this somehow led to us having a fake reality tv show verbal bitchfight as Donald, Goofy, Mickey and Minnie for a solid hour. We all regretted not recording it.

Cater: My friend from Wales entirely forgot about the existence of timezones and called me in the middle of my history class. Her ringtone at the time was just a clip of her screaming “Bread”.

How my teacher didn’t figure out who’s phone it was is beyond me.

Trey : Made Russian Roulette Spilt Cupcakes for a large group of my friends, and one is allergic to strawberries, while another’s favorite is, so I very specifically placed the strawberry filled one on the complete other side of the table with the intention of slipping it in after she picked her two.

Some fucking how, she ended up with the Strawberry one, which I had tied with a bow (basically the ones with bows mean they contain an allergen, and the color is the allergen. Ex: Strawberry was BRIGHT FUCKING PINK.) I’m to this day not exactly sure how, but my best guess is she traded hers with whoever originally got the Strawberry one before we ate.

Luckily, I told her partner, who had been my baking partner in crime and convinced me to add in the strawberry after I said it might be a bad idea, to bring two epi pens just incase.

Riddle : I am around 5’3, and I had a friend (?) who was 6’2-3 in middle school. We had almost the blatant definition of a Floyd and Riddle Dynamic, but he’d out of the blue be extremely sweet to me (kinda like that comic in the anthology), only on days I was going through shit. When I tell you I genuinely thought I was hallucinating when he did though-

Also, I yelled at him for nailing, yes, NAILING, a flag on the ceiling reading :”el sábado es para los chicos” (Saturday is for the boys) In the fucking Spanish classroom. Since nobody was as tall as him and the janitors didn’t notice it, it was there for like a week.

Che’nya : My friend and I have an ongoing inside joke where whenever we spot the other through a window in the hallway, we text the other “behind you” or “to your__”

Leona : I brought a pillow with a silk pillow case (gift from my mom) to a sleepover once, and my friend went “You trust leaving me in the room with this?” and I genuinely responded “Its a pillow, why wouldn’t I trust you.” entirely forgetting that Silk can be pretty expensive.

I felt so bad bro.

Ruggie : My friend once dared me to get a one plate of everything during a party. I misinterpreted this and brought a mostly to full plate of each thing, including water bottles.

Turns out they meant balance one of everything on a single plate.

I did not, infact, return the seven brownies, four cupcakes, two cookies, twelevish tangerines, popcorn and god knows how many grapes, but everything else was returned or snatched by friends.

Jack: My friend was throughly convinced she knew where she was going when we got lost outside at one of the biggest malls in fucking America, and we ended up walking a good 4/6th of the perimeter before finding the target (the store, we were still fucking lost) , which we called her mom to pick us up at.

Bonus: My friend, a few dormmates and I were at Starbucks and this random woman comes up to my friend and goes “Hey, they got my order wrong, want my drink?” and I was literally trying to give him this face of “BAD IDEA”. Yea so he ignored the obvious and drank the whole fucking thing and was bouncing off the walls for the rest of the day. (This one could also work for Jamil I suppose.)

Floyd : I was once walking with a friend of mine and jokingly said Trees are giant salads.

This motherfucker breaks off a branch of the nearest tree, takes a fatass bite, drops it, and goes “I want a refund.”

Jade : Randomly got interrogated my mushroom hunters—-

(I kind you the fuck not, MUSHROOM. HUNTERS. Basically, they go out to hunt/find/ forage for rare mushrooms. Atleast thats what they told us?! I wasn’t paying much attention, I was busy petting their dog tbh)

—While camping, my friend and I had zero clue what they were talking about, so she just pointed in a random direction and they thanked us and left.

The same friend also introduced me to mica, but always called them Mermaid Scales, and we more than once walked around in the water looking for them, I was the only one that would literally stop mid-trail to pick some up though. I have a massive collection.

Also she never let me live down the fact I once trapped myself in my tent with fucking dental floss overnight just to see if I could, then couldn’t undo it in the morning, and our adult / guide / trying to keep us alive person had to cut me out with a knife.

Azul : This one very specific time as a kid I was talking to two identical twins, who were standing on each side of me, wearing the same outfits but color reversed, and nearly had an internal breakdown trying to remember which was which, so I just did verbal gymnastics around using their names.

We later literally spent two hours fighting for ours lives together and I shit you not I STILL COULDNT REMEMBER THEIR FUCKING NAMES.

Kalim : Went shopping with my badass grandma and somehow left with a Second Hand Valentino (the brand) dress for $50 and a free bracelet one of the employees gave me because ….I actually don’t know.

Also, I got trapped on a really high up indoor water slide with my sister because the water entirely stopped (we learned later the water machine tied to that ride blew up) , and where we were was like a weird slope like between two drops. We couldn’t get back up, and going down was too risky without water bcs we could go splat.

There was like a window ish on the ride, so like a smart 8 year old, I start calling for help at the top of my lungs. My sister (10) also did this. There was this guy who I guess heard us that we nicknamed Chad because he looked like the most stereotypical 2000’s beach movie love interest lifeguard and was dramatically looking around for where the voices were coming from but NEVER LOOKED UP??

Anyway, My sister got us out in the end because she found a hatch and managed to open it, and I shit you not there was a spiral staircase with a gigantic fucking sign reading “DO NOT CLIMB STAIRCASE.”

So obviously, my sister chucks me across the gap onto the staircase and then jumps over herself, and we end up spending another 40 minutes after that fiasco trying to find our parents while i’m pretty sure Chad was trying to find us.

After the 40 minutes we just assumed we were now orphans and went back to where we left our keycard and low and behold our parents had just come back from wherever they had fucked off to.

Also Chad found us and felt super bad, and bought us a smore cake?!? Someone throw him back in time to be his destined role as an extra in Teen Beach Movie. The cake was great though, but that was one hell of an 8th birthday lmao.

Jamil : My friend from India (jokily) Divorced me after my dumbass asked her if Chai was an ingredient used in Chai Tea.

Spoiler Alert : Chai IS THE TEA. Apparently, asking for Chai Tea is the equivalent of saying “Can I have some Tea Tea please.”

Yea safe to say I felt real stupid in that moment.

Epel : My sister once locked me in the bathroom so she could test her new makeup on me. She left for one second and I kid you not I snuck out of the window.

Random bonus : Me and my cousins for some reason ended up roughhousing outside after one of our older cousins weddings, and I judo flipped a whole ass 17 year old man at age 12 and I felt so powerful in that moment.

Also If you saw about the ranch in the previous post, me that gang had an anonymous cookie provider who would leave us two tins of fresh cookies every day around 12ish pm, usually behind the kitchen or outside the equipment shack.

Yes, we tried to catch them once, No, we didn’t succeed. Also nobody wanted to risk loosing cookie privileges, so we didn’t try again.

Rook: Once scared the living shit out of my online friend by texting him “I am now several miles closer to your location.” . He lives in South America, and I happened to be in Florida with a friend, so I thought i’d be funny.

Vil : I was going to a cosplay convention with a friend, and instead of bringing like a normal amount of makeup, my indecisive ass brought basically a whole suitcase worth of it.

Also won a costume competition at my boarding school for Halloween, and wasn’t even aware there was a competition until the year after, when a good half or more of my dormmates asked me to do their makeup because they’d heard I was really good at it.

Idia: Ok, so, long story, but my friend invited me and two mutual friends to see Sweeney Todd on Broadway w/ the og cast. However, I was the only one who didn’t know we were going anywhere, because he thought his mom told my dad we were going to see Sweeney Todd, while my dad thought my friend told me, but also he was suspiciously alluding to it, maybe unintentionally

So I show up in a blue hoodie with a bad pun on it, mildly ripped sweatpants, mismatched socks and bright rainbow crocs. Not very “going to watch a musical about cannibalism and Serial Killers” attire. But it gets worse.

So around the 3/4ths into the first act is when I usually get snacks at musicals or plays, since they’re usually just finished setting up and theres no line, so I’m in and out and don’t miss much.

Well, I did that as usual, and its important to know we had front row balcony seats, because…

I slipped on my friends playbill on the way to my seat, and my fucking left croc went flying down into the seats below us, and hit an older woman in the head right at Sweeney did the first oofing, and the stage lights go red for a moment in this scene.

I felt so bad, and was literally too embarrassed to go get the shoe myself, so one of my friends got it for me. Apparently the lady thought it was somewhat funny (thank fucking goodness)

Ortho : My sister and I were biking once, and found out some reason the coats we had (school merch from field day I think). had the biggest fucking hidden pockets known to man.

So the next time we went out, she for some reason decided to put our dads entire laptop in there.

Also bonus: My friend once invited me over to their house to help with their costume, and when I came over, the costume was literally a gigantic trash can. No, not the actual object, They were literally making a giant trashcan costume.

I helped but still remained mildly confused in the process.

Malleus : I had a good friend who lived next to a graveyard, and sometimes we would just go on nice walks in the graveyard.

Lilia: Another Wilderness one: We were making Pasta, and one of the guys in our group was playing with a large thing of moss, tripped, and the moss got into the fucking pasta.

One guide said “Nature Consequence, we can still eat it” while the other screamed they were going to get fired.

Also, me and a friend were singing bo-burnham on a hike, and for some reason we had this stupid ass idea of making a fake fishing rod called…..

“The Child Catcher.”

(The irony ony of us both being 14 at the time so technically we were children)

We found a good fishing rod like stick and a vine, tied a vine on, and I kid you not we carried that thing for MILES. We also made a fork with a flatly shaped stick and a rock named Reddie.

Yea living in the woods does somethin to ya I gotta say.

Bonus: One of my childhood friends had a very giant dog, and one time we had a sleepover, she was laying infront of the other side of the door when we woke , and because of the way the door was, we couldn’t get through.

So my genius solution was to climb out the window (this was on the second floor) , Cha-Cha real smoothed to the nearest other window, go through there, and lure the dog away with a treat.

It worked.

Silver: Went to this make your own dipped popsicle thing with a good friend of mine, and watched in pure horror as she got a mango popsicle dipped in dark chocolate and rolled in fruity pebbles.

Another one: I was at a Sleepover and there was this tent like thing that was meant for tiny people (aka me, not really it was for toddlers but I was small enough to fit at the time), and at some point in the middle of the night, someone tripped on the tent and it entirely collapsed on me, and not only did I sleep through it, I ended up being the last person to wake up because they all saw the tent collapsed and assumed I was already awake.

Also I was camping once and I rolled away from my tarp and somehow down a road, and my friend said when she found me there was just several butterflies and caterpillars on me. I originally didn’t know but I found a caterpillar on my head that morning and apparently it was poisonous (I was fine and I named him Bob)

Sebek: I was in an escape room with some friends, and I discovered that a key we had gotten in the very beginning worked on another lock, so I did that, and later one of my loud friends finds a key and is SPIRALING because she can’t find what it unlocks for like 30 minutes, and after several minutes I realized, unintentionally slammed my hand on a desk and screamed “OH SHIT.” with zero context.

That experience was actually my first time in a escape room with friends, and not my family or a bunch of drunk strangers in suits + my concerned mother.

Second years : My friends in the priorly mentioned group consisted of who I’ll call N, who was doing 70% of the work, we had R, who was angrily searching for the lock to the key, we had T, the birthday boi, who was randomly making jokes about the 1930s, S, who genuinely forgot he had a key item in his pocket, and A, who dramatically serenaded the paintings after misinterpreting a clue and me, who kept accidentally unlocking shit ahead of time.

Third Years: Prior to the other mentioned event, we had gone to a small improv event that ended up being just us, and the poor guy running it kept giving us scenarios and random conditions which we would absolutely make the craziest shit from.

If I remember correctly, one of the skits was we were supposed to be a school board, and the condition was when someone said an idea, you had to say yes.

The result? a organ harvesting business thats front was a school, and everytime someone got detention, one organ of theirs was sold, and the funds went into funding the biogenetically engineered creation of Hatsune Miku and Cat Boys.

For some reason this skit also led somehow into atomic glitter and cocaine missiles, selling souls on Ebay with express shipping, using Sephora Products and Instagram to spread our propaganda, making meme complications of our crimes, and nuking the Bermuda Triangle.

Ask no questions because I have no answers.

——————————-

Yea thats it for now! Enjoy!

:3

[browneyesandhair]

Non-Exhaustive List of Soulmate Fics: Polin

Okay, I'm bored so I'm compiling my favorite soulmate fics. Here's the Polin edition:

These Days Will Fade Out by noveltyromance

Summary:

Penelope walked in and inspected the silvery words embedded on her skin. She really did meet her soulmate. It wouldn’t have turned colors if he was not hers. “So he said your words,” she mumbled softly to herself in the mirror, “but you didn’t say his.” It only meant one thing. Colin was her soulmate. But she wasn’t his.

tend my garden by runimpossiblegirl

Summary:

The forget-me-not on Penelope´s upper left arm had appeared when she was just sixteen. [Orinally posted with 5700 words on 31/12. Now updated to final version with 6900 and extra Colin POV on 01/01]

i'll use you as a warning sign by TheSushiMonster

Summary:

The words on his body sound like Lady Whistledown. His soulmate - the person meant to capture his body and heart, his partner and love of his life - ruins lives. Perhaps it makes sense that she’s already ruined his. - Or, soulmate AU where the words you write show up on your soulmate's skin.

i might lose everything if i lose the pain by frankchurchillsaysrelax

Summary:

Based on the prompt: On your 18th birthday you get a soul mark - one that would be identical to your soulmates. Colin is devastated that his does not match Marina’s. Trying to lighten up his mood days later - his brothers teasingly console him by saying that Penelope could get his mark when she turns 18 and that’s when she overhears him say that he would never marry her because he didn't think she's his soulmate. And as is Penelope's life a couple years later she gets an identical mark. Now she plans to hide it because she can’t handle his disappointment.

Give Me All The Pain (Give Me Everything) by wasteddarlinglover

Summary:

Penelope Featherington's soulmate hated her. She was alright with that. She hated him just as much. The only reason for their bond to exist was to bring each other pain. Colin Bridgerton's soulmate gave up on him years ago. He was not worthy of love and patience that their bond required. He learned to accept that and move on with his life. When two broken souls are brought together, Penelope and Colin find hope. Neither one of them can be with their soulmate, but maybe they can build something remarkable together. If they manage to let go of the pain, maybe they could even let themselves fall in love.

All the Time in the World by dontmakemeover

Summary:

All ladies of the Ton are instructed by their Queen to implant a TiMER on their wrists when they enter society at age 16. It is the truest and best way to find a Soulmate, with the TiMER counting down until the first time they will meet. Countless marriages have started this way (with at least a few of them ending the same way!) But Penelope Featherington does not highly rate this technology, for when her TiMER was implanted, the screen was blank. And what's more, she has seen the timer of the man she would like to be her true love, Colin Bridgerton, and knows that whoever her soulmate truly is, his is not her.

Latibule by The_Readers_Muse

Summary:

It was said you would be drawn to your one. That was the only advantage you had.

For the Both of Us by logogram

Summary:

A conversation with Fife and Cho leaves Colin wondering whether Penelope is his soulmate. Unfortunately, she seems to have become stubbornly attached to her gloves.

And So the Yandere Met the Bonnet Assassin by Seaowl

Summary:

There was a reason Violet was so hell bent to see all eight of her children married. The most valuable things to them are their soulmates and the family is told all their life that you are to do anything to protect and keep your soulmate. Lie, cheat, kill, frame, anything is on the table. The family that is so big on love that they become quite possessive of those who marry in, even if it is the soulmate of one of their siblings.

i'm the lock and you're the key by TheSushiMonster

Summary:

Penelope is ready to move on. Pining after Colin Bridgerton requires too much energy, too much of her soul. Penelope wants to find her soulmate, but maybe that may not be Colin after all. But… perhaps one last effort is necessary to completely eliminate Colin from her heart and mind. - Or, the “you must sleep with someone to determine if they’re your soulmate” AU.

Would I Lie To You? by LightLeadingMe

Summary:

It has been said and even written that true soulmates cannot lie to one another. They simply were unable to. Not even a small fib could be said to the person. Penelope began to resign herself to the fact that she'd never meet her soulmate, but then she ran (quite literally) into Colin Bridgerton.

Soulmarks by Seaowl

Summary:

Colin has found his soulmate, now he just has to find out who she is.

just let me adore you by TheSushiMonster

Summary:

Colin Bridgerton falls off his horse at age twenty-one and laughs. It’s a full-body laugh, bright and bold and gut-wrenching, as if his soul is finally free. Then he feels a burn across his left bicep, just beside his shoulder and when he inspects his skin, the outline of a detailed feather stares back at him. - Or, now that Colin knows Penelope is his soulmate, he vows to make her laugh in his presence so she can be his too. Or, the role reversal soulmate AU.

[liquidorcard]

Hey fam we're gunna inact in some sinful behavior again and get real for a sec here on the shitposting blog so TW: Discussion of substance abuse, mental health issues, SA, etc.

You may have noticed I took a bit of a break from posting for a bit. It wasn't entirely due to Lily's "junkie" rant here, but it was partially responsible.

A lot about Lily high key cheeses my biscuits, I've made that pretty clear. Lily and I have a . . . Strange amount in common in some regards. I'm a trans person myself, I come from a similar, shall we say, "dysfunctional home environment" Lily does. We're even both Canadian, close enough in age I grew up with a lot of the exact same regional-specific media she did. We've had some other life experiences in common.

With that said, Lily's almost like the evil funhouse mirror version of my life. I was sexually assaulted for the first time at basically the exact same age Courtney was. Lily reminds me very much of my first partner, who physically, emotionally and sexually abused me. Unlike Lily, I am from an actual multi-racial family and have had the somewhat unique experiences and gotten the somewhat unique perspective of being a white person partially influenced and organically adopted into more predominantly POC culture. I've had to come to terms with my own white privilege and the ways Western colonialism has influenced me on a level far more personal than it would be for someone from a more monoracial and monocultural family than mine. While also coming to terms with and accepting the ways my family has been judged and discriminated against for being so blended.

There's also just the fact that Lily seems to (I wonder if, on some level, intentionally) act like the alt-right caricature of a progressive leftist in the most performative way imaginable, while also clearly not actually being left-wing at all. My pet theory is that the only thing stopping Lily from going full Blaire White MAGA butt monkey is that her pride can't take it. Being treated like a useful idiot for the right to "prove" they're not bigots while treating her with open hostility in every other regard. So she's as "leftist" as she needs to be to get the 12 year olds she's trying to court on her side because they don't know any better. While being profoundly anti-labor, pro-capitalist. Even though the only reason why the alt-right hyper focus on identity politic bullshit like that is becayse it's a wedge issue that allows them to skirt around talking about actual policy.

There's also just the fact that someone can be so, confidently, shit-eating levels of wrong and stupid about the most asinine things. I actually work professionally in the fields Lily has decided her opinions are worth vomiting out into the ether. Fields people in general are way too comfortable speaking with authority on shit they know absolutely nothing about-- but Lily is for sure a special case.

Point is: I'm very used to Lily making me go into turbo big upsetti spaghetti mode. I've been aware of her for YEARS. I'm over it . . . Until I'm not.

I've alluded to it a few times already: I'm a recovered drug user, though I've struggled with general substance abuse and impulse control issues for longer. Particularly because of untreated mental health issues like C-PTSD, a dissociative disorder, gender dysphoria and ADHD. Particularly because of untreated physical health issues that just a few years ago almost killed me. Issues that caused me significant pain, mental distress, and slowly worsening disability since I was 11 years old. Went totally untreated until they came close to taking my life. It's no coincidence that I started stealing my parent's booze when I was around 12 or 13 years old.

The worst, ugliest, most humiliating aspects of yourself? Addiction will put them front and center. It will cause you to do things, act in ways, find out things about yourself you're never going to be able to unknow. You have to live with for the rest of your life.

You're aware of it-- the whole time. What a fucking creature you've become. How you are hurting the people closest to you. It's not fun. The whole time, you want to stop. But you can't. You don't know why you just can't control yourself, what you're supposed to do. You're afraid of asking for help out of fear of judgement or punishment. Drugs are mostly decriminalized in Canada and still, if someone just took access away from my poison of choice and sent me on my way with no further help--- I would have just walked into traffic.

The worst of my issues happened due to some absolutely insane levels of medical irresponsibility that I won't fully get into because they're too long to explain. But I will tell you that, already aware I had substance abuse issues, I *explicitly warned* the doctor who prescribed me the medication that I didn't feel I could be responsible to be put on anything addictive. She assured me it was not. Spoiler altert: it was addictive. A lot of addicts descent into rock bottom beginning with something they were prescribed.

Drug companies will put in these "anti-abuse" measures into otherwise addictive substances that it takes half a brain cell to circumvent. Just take my word for it.

I overdosed at least once, maybe twice on the drug I was originally prescribed. Alone. By some insane luck I survived both times without getting further medical treatment. But as I built up a tolerance what I was originally prescribed wasn't the *only thing* I ended up abusing in that period of my life. I was going to die if I didn't do something soon, and I knew it.

I was lucky. My sister drove two cities over after a night shift to my rescue and quite literally set me on the road to saving my life. My doctor was compassionate enough to allow me to get off of what I was originally addicted to at my own pace, and correctly identified I needed a medication overhaul to do so. My older brother made sure I wasn't dying of dehydration or starvation during my detox period and made sure to do the daily tasks I didn't have the mental capacity to do at that time aswell. Without them I wouldn't be here today.

NOT EVERY DRUG USER IS AS FORTUNATE AS ME, HOWEVER. And even then, recovery is not a straight line, or as simple as having certain substances kept away. It's a demon you'll be fighting the rest of your life, in many instances. Mine included. Part of getting off the harmful substances I was was getting a prescription to Adderall, as I was partially self-medicating for. Something my doctor still monitors me with to ensure I'm not falling back into bad habits with. Something Lily is CURRENTLY bitching about not being able to get a prescription for-- I wonder why, Lily.

I have now gone through THREE surgeries without painkillers. And in one particularly awful incident, was treated rather cruelly by the medical staff over refusing to take them. To quote, of all things, fucking Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo, "if you live with pain long enough, you learn to enjoy the taste." But nothing is like the nightmare of chemical dependence. Pain is immaterial to that kind of hell.

I know Lily is saying this bullshit just to vaguepost about Courtney, but I don't care. Fuck her. Fuck her for daring to judge me, and those like me. That she was that comfortable being this vile about the matter publically should give you a good indication as to how comfortable even other people are to talking down to addicts.

She wouldn't have survived the shit I went through. I dare her to try. She's way too much of a little piss baby to crawl her way out of that kind of suffering.

I know this is a meme page, but I refuse to be ashamed of talking about it. If anyone would like some more information about my experience or has questions as to why Lily's opinion on the matter is dogshit and vile, feel free to dm me or send me an ask. I'll make it clear why Lily is fucking scum for having the balls to say this publically. I'll make her regret it.

[maaarine]

The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex (Peggy Orenstein, The New York Times, April 12 2024)

"For the past four years, Dr. Herbenick has been tracking the rapid rise of “rough sex” among college students, particularly sexual strangulation, or what is colloquially referred to as choking.

Nearly two-thirds of women in her most recent campus-representative survey of 5,000 students at an anonymized “major Midwestern university” said a partner had choked them during sex (one-third in their most recent encounter).

The rate of those women who said they were between the ages 12 and 17 the first time that happened had shot up to 40 percent from one in four. (…)

Twenty years ago, sexual asphyxiation appears to have been unusual among any demographic, let alone young people who were new to sex and iffy at communication.

That’s changed radically in a short time, with health consequences that parents, educators, medical professionals, sexual consent advocates and teens themselves urgently need to understand.

Sexual trends can spread quickly on campus and, to an extent, in every direction.

But, at least among straight kids, I’ve sometimes noticed a pattern: Those that involve basic physical gratification — like receiving oral sex in hookups — tend to favor men.

Those that might entail pain or submission, like choking, are generally more for women.

So, while undergrads of all genders and sexualities in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys report both choking and being choked, straight and bisexual young women are far more likely to have been the subjects of the behavior; the gap widens with greater occurrences.

(In a separate study, Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues found the behavior repeated across the United States, particularly for adults under 40, and not just among college students.)

Alcohol may well be involved, and while the act is often engaged in with a steady partner, a quarter of young women said partners they’d had sex with on the day they’d met also choked them.

Either way, most say that their partners never or only sometimes asked before grabbing their necks.

For many, there had been moments when they couldn’t breathe or speak, compromising the ability to withdraw consent, if they’d given it.

No wonder that, in a separate study by Dr. Herbenick, choking was among the most frequently listed sex acts young women said had scared them, reporting that it sometimes made them worry whether they’d survive.

Among girls and women I’ve spoken with, many did not want or like to be sexually strangled, though in an otherwise desired encounter they didn’t name it as assault.

Still, a sizable number were enthusiastic; they requested it. It is exciting to feel so vulnerable, a college junior explained.

The power dynamic turns her on; oxygen deprivation to the brain can trigger euphoria.

That same young woman, incidentally, had never climaxed with a partner: While the prevalence of choking has skyrocketed, rates of orgasm among young women have not increased, nor has the “orgasm gap” disappeared among heterosexual couples.

“It indicates they’re not doing other things to enhance female arousal or pleasure,” Dr. Herbenick said.

When, for instance, she asked one male student who said he choked his partner whether he’d ever tried using a vibrator instead, he recoiled. “Why would I do that?” he asked.

Perhaps, she responded, because it would be more likely to produce orgasm without risking, you know, death.

In my interviews, college students have seen male orgasm as a given; women’s is nice if it happens, but certainly not expected or necessarily prioritized (by either partner).

It makes sense, then, that fulfillment would be less the motivator for choking than appearing adventurous or kinky. Such performances don’t always feel good. (…)

Now consider that every year Dr. Herbenick has done her survey, the number of females reporting extreme effects from strangulation (neck swelling, loss of consciousness, losing control of urinary function) has crept up.

Among those who’ve been choked, the rate of becoming what students call “cloudy” — close to passing out, but not crossing the line — is now one in five, a huge proportion.

All of this indicates partners are pressing on necks longer and harder.

The physical, cognitive and psychological impacts of sexual choking are disturbing.

So is the idea that at a time when women’s social, economic, educational and political power are in ascent (even if some of those rights may be in jeopardy), when #MeToo has made progress against harassment and assault, there has been the popularization of a sex act that can damage our brains, impair intellectual functioning, undermine mental health, even kill us.

Nonfatal strangulation, one of the most significant indicators that a man will murder his female partner (strangulation is also one of the most common methods used for doing so), has somehow been eroticized and made consensual, at least consensual enough.

Yet, the outcomes are largely the same: Women’s brains and bodies don’t distinguish whether they are being harmed out of hate or out of love."

[dustdeepsea]

Writer Interview

Tagged by @my-favourite-zhent nearly 3 weeks ago and I've entirely missed the wave.

I've enjoyed reading so many interesting ones by my mutuals! Tagging (only if you're keen) @graysparrowao3 @coreene @say-lene @luvwich @grossestjay —and if I've missed your interview somehow, tag me in the comments!

Q&A after the cut—

When did you start writing?

I wrote my first fanwork at age 12. It was self-insert fanfiction with me and 2 of my friends in the Slayers anime universe, which meant it was several comedic sketches strung together with with lots of actions denoted by asterisks and emoticons. You know the ones ^_^ ^____^ @_@ T_T *slaps you gently with a trout*

We printed it out on someone's home printer and bound copies in plastic school folders with a two-hole punch. I've lost the original file ages ago, but I would love to read it again.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

When I was younger, I actively sought out "difficult stories" because I wanted to experience things beyond my day to day life. I read Nabokov at 16 because everyone kept saying Lolita was a dangerous book. I also read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk and Bret Easton Ellis without really understanding them.

My pretentiousness definitely peaked in my university days. My dating profile at the time listed: Herman Hesse, Kazuo Ishiguro and Mikhail Bulgakov.

Now that I'm older, I read and write stories primarily to make myself happy.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I'm not remotely at the level where I get compared to any published writers.

My favourite contemporary writer is David Mitchell (of Cloud Atlas fame), and my favourite book by him is The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet.

My favourite "classic" novel is The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I type at my desk, in a study shared with my partner. Sometimes if the scene is particularly spicy or they are gaming too loudly, I take the laptop to the living room.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Bouncing plot bunnies off others on Discord, talking a walk or a long train ride, playing an immersive video game and rotating characters in my head for hours afterwards.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

According to my lovely readers:

"Romantic and sweaty"; "two silly sausages frying in a pan" (thanks to my long time beta-reader @littleplasticrat)

"Purity, temperance, glimpse of [the] ability for real love / real forgiveness" (thank you @tellmeallaboutit!)

These did surprise me a bit when they were first pointed out but it makes sense—I've been accidentally writing Regency romances and repressed idiots in love without setting out to do so explicitly.

What is your reason for writing?

I put aside hobbies for many years because of my work (no matter what advertisers want you to believe—doomscrolling is not a hobby). Started doing more creative things during my sabbatical last year, and writing was one of the things that saved my broken corpo soul.

Nowadays I'm really into bread making and cooking in general. I'm trying to balance work and creative pursuits and I'm much happier overall.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Any and all comments are received with love <3 <3 <3 I really enjoy it when people let me know what lines really resonated with them or point out motifs I'd snuck in.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Friendly and approachable! Not entirely hyperfixated on That One NPC from a Video Game with Five Lines (that one might be harder now...!)

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

A fairly broad vocabulary, including anachronisms, which is useful for fantasy story settings. Writing characters who are actively lying to themselves (thinking one thing and saying/doing another).

My writing tends to be on the more contemplative side and a bit sadder and slower paced, so if you enjoy A Great Deal of Yearning along with your smut, then it would appeal to you :)

How do you feel about your own writing?

I'm pretty happy with it! I write very, very slowly, with constant edits as I go, and would probably starve if I ever had to rely on my fiction writing to be paid. Luckily, I get to do this as a hobby.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I write for myself, but I am also super blessed to have a very small but vocal audience that I can interact with directly. I guess my best advice is: Write for yourself and your 10 friends who want to read your hand-bound home-printed self-insert fanfic <3

[dragon-creates]

Sorry Bowser, But Your Fiancé Is In Another Castle

Read on AO3

Hello!!! Its been a while since I published anything, things in life have just been hectic like college and family, and I'm also working on some multichapter fics that I'm planning on publishing soon. But I wanted to write this for my birthday as my gift to all of you. Today I officially turn 20 years old and I wanted to give this fic to you guys as a thank you for this year. 

@angelxd-3303 @baggedbees @heythereyoucutie @angelfangs-666 @bowserslittleprincess @tapetmal @omgmax221 @vampireopossum @liabloodx @chrissymorgan9700 @rottmnt23lover @beetlegoose01 @rivthescetch @rosiethedragongeek @spazzitazz @cool-taya @pumkinqueen @kettlepotmadness @oh-my-gosh-its-j0sh @tuna-jsgross @tanookileaves @starvingcritter @sirdeath41412 @trianna-phoenix @that-one-fangirl123 @hiimyourmom @1st-lil-poet @randompostsyayy @pikagirl18 @madeofmanyfandoms @timberwolfofthelostforest @theluckycollectorcolorposts @moonetta-art @mysweetloveismyjohn @i1lyidkstupid @roze-realm @danger-ghost @meep-13 @daisysrose @mefiman @zomboi-intel @thegayjokester @hyperfixatingonbowuigisohard @wogwoman

Whether you started following me for mario bros/bowuigi content or for another fandom entirely, I wanted to dedicate this birthday fic to all of you. (I’m so sorry if I didn’t mention you I couldn’t get you all in). If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have had this surge of creativity for the past year, I've got a few fics still in progress but after some time I hope ya'll will stick around for what I have in store. So that being said, even though its my birthday, this if a gift that I personally want to give from me to you. I hope ya'll like it and please stay safe xx.

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Congratulations! If you have received this invitation, that means that you have been invited to the wedding of King Bowser and King Consort Luigi! The wedding will take place at the Darklands castle 11th of June at 12:00PM sharp. Wear your best formal attire, a gift for the happy new couple and a smile. Hope to see you there!

King Boo let out an inhuman screech as he ripped up the letter. One of his boos had been scavenging secretly across the lands, finding a scattered invitation to the royal wedding and rushing back to give it to their king.

The poltergeist was fuming! Not only did his former associate double cross him and partner up with the Mushroom Kingdom to defend the rest of the lands from the ghost’s terror, but King Bowser was marrying his arch nemesis of all people, Luigi!

It didn’t seem that long ago when Bowser was chasing after the poofy pink Princess Peach, going so far to steal the superstar in order to do so. If it weren’t for the arrival of those pesky colourful humans did things start going haywire. Ever since Bowser was defeated by the red plumber and his younger brother, the koopa couldn’t stop thinking about the latter. Whenever King Boo visited Bowser’s realm, he would drone on and on about that stupid green man. First, he complained about how a low-life prisoner managed to defeat him and stop the star-crossed love between him and his ‘Peaches’, then it turned into begrudging admiration for the human (“I never thought someone so small could pack such a punch,” he remembered Bowser saying), and then the sickening realisation of Bowser realising his feelings for the green plumber had King Boo about to lose his final straw.

He was going to make Bowser realise how pathetic that human was and make him go back to his scheming ways! And so, he devised a plan, he was going to lead Luigi hear with the false pretence of him winning a mansion, trap his brother in a painting to lure Luigi to his doom, have his minions scare the living daylights out of him and trap him as well! Once that would happen, he was going to show Bowser the painting, make him realise how pathetic the human was and the two would return to world domination! (He had even arranged for a large model of the koopa king to frighten the little plumber).

However, his plans were foiled by a pesky little scientist, going by the name of Doctor E. Gadd. Apparently, he saved Luigi with the help of some type of vacuum that was able to suck up his boos and ghosts, leading to the two humans partnering up and the plumber taking down the ghostly king himself.

King Boo had never been so humiliated in all his life! And worst of all, after he managed to escape, it only caused Bowser to fawn over the human even more. Soon, Bowser would ease up on his plans to take over the Mushroom Kingdom and woo Princess Peach, instead, focusing on creating a steady friendship with the little green man. Of course, it didn’t go so well at first – the first meeting was Bowser imprisoning Luigi over lava after all – but over time, they started meeting in secret, going to meadows that the plumber had found due to his love of gardening, Luigi sending little treats to the koopa king, spending time with Bowser Jr and the koopalings, even going as far to pretending to be ‘kidnapped’ by Bowser so that he would be able to derail Mario from finding out about the two.

Eventually, King Boo tried his mansion plan again, twice actually! The first time was during the Dark Moon eclipse, forcing the ghosts E. Gadd had befriended to do King Boo’s bidding, the other was when he had joined forces with Helen Gravely and her haunted hotel. Yet again though, Luigi managed to foil both plans, each one of them ending up with King Boo captured.

When King Boo managed to escape again, he expected Bowser to at least be nonchalant about his intentions with capturing Luigi. However, when he arrived at the Darklands and saw Luigi there with the koopa king, all the poltergeist could see was red at this pesky plumber. He was going to attack the human and finish him once and for all, until he was met face first with a scaly fist and plummeted against one of Bowser’s stone statues of himself. When he gathered himself, he saw that the large koopa was on all fours, fangs bared and growling with smoke coming out of his nostrils and a protective arm around Luigi – who was trembling on the ground while clutching the king’s arm in fright.

King Boo had seen Bowser angry plenty of times before, but this, this was something he had never seen before. It was almost primal, animalistic and was never this reactive when it came to Peach. With a snarl, Bowser only said two words so quietly yet held nothing but danger. “Get out.”

That was all King Boo needed to hear to immediately flee the scene. Eventually, he learnt that during his imprisonment in E. Gadd’s lab, Bowser had been working on forming an alliance with the Mushroom Kingdom, going so far as to signing a peace treaty. Both he and Luigi had even revealed their relationship to the Princess and Mario, though while sceptical, were still accepting to the two as a couple.

And now here he was, with a ripped-up letter and a wedding on the horizon. How could Bowser do this to him?! He was King Bowser, lord of all things evil and set anyone ablaze if they ever tried to tell him what to do! And he was King Boo, the tyrannical ghost king ready to frighten the literal life out of anyone! Together, they could’ve taken over the remaining puny kingdoms and strike terror into anyone who opposed them. Now, Bowser was kissing the boots of a stupid plumber and about to marry him as well! This would not do at all.

“Ready my airships!” he screamed at one of his subjects, jumping at the sudden noise, “I want my armies to be ready by the date of the royal wedding!”

“But sire,” the smaller boo spoke up quietly, “You ripped up the letter, it had the date on it.”

“Does that look like my problem?!” he seethed at the minion, who quickly shook his head, “Then go find it out for yourself, and don’t come back until my armies and ships are ready to leave!”

“Yes, my king,” the boo bowed and fazed through one of the walls.

King Boo grumbled under his breath, an evil sneer creeping onto his face. If Bowser wanted to pretend to be the good guy, fine, he’ll treat him like the good guy alright. And he had just the plan to do so.

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“Are you feeling okay Babbo?” Junior asked, letting out a small purr as he uncurled himself from Luigi’s lap to look at his soon-to-be stepdad.

“Huh?” Luigi broke out of his trance, meeting Junior’s worried look, “Oh, I’m fine baby, just pre-wedding nerves.”

“Don’t worry, Papa loves you so much to the point its grossing everyone out!” The smallest koopaling buried his face into Luigi’s neck, “Trust me, nothing is gonna stop him from marrying you today! He’d even marry you while dressed like that!”

“Junior, I’m not even ready yet,” Luigi chuckled. The human was wearing a fluffy baby blue robe as he waited for Peach, Daisy, Rosalina and his brother to get back with make-up, his wedding dress and food, to make sure he had something to eat before the banquet later.

“Exactly!” Junior chortled, “Papa was never this way with Peach, he looks at you like you’re a million superstars! Everything will be fine Dad, I promise!”

“Aw, thanks ragazzino,” Luigi cooed, hugging his stepson tightly before Luigi’s bedroom door opened and in came Mario, Polterpup and the princesses, “Junior here was making sure that I wasn’t feeling nervous before the wedding.”

“Aw, buddy!” Mario grinned and ruffled his nephew’s hair, who giggled at his uncle’s antics.

“Junior, could you go check on your father please?” Peach suggested, “I have the feeling he might also need one of your pep talks, you’ll also need to get ready as well. Take Polterpup as well, Kamek told me that he wanted to practice walking down the aisle with the rings one last time.”

“Okay Aunt Peach, come on Polterpup,” Junior jumped off Luigi’s lap and make his way out with the pooch by his side, shutting the door behind him.

Mario turned to his younger brother, “You doing okay Lu?”

“Yeah,” Luigi nodded, “Just a little nervous, you know?”

“Do you think you’re able to eat something?” Mario asked.

“Yeah, I think I’m able to,” Luigi gave his big brother a small smile.

“I hope so,” Daisy spoke up, “Cause your mom just gave us a buttload of pizza and man does it smell good!”

As soon as she placed the bags down, Luigi caught a whiff of the familiar homemade smell of his mother’s pizza and his stomach began to growl.

“Your mother is very kind Luigi,” Rosalina said, taking a slice for herself, “Though, I will admit, she did seem quite perplexed when Daisy and I had to correct her when she assumed we were…” her hand covered her mouth as she tried to hold back a laugh, “friends.”

“Oh no!” Luigi started to laugh as well as Peach, Daisy and Mario, clutching their stomachs at the thought of his poor mother’s confused face, “Poor ma!”

“I know!” Daisy cackled, “And the moment she realised she started apologizing for assuming and I was trying so hard not to burst, the poor woman!”

“Now, now Daisy darling,” Rosalina put her hand on her partner’s shoulder, “This is not the time to lose our composure over a silly mistake.”

Daisy let out another breathy giggle and placed her hand over Rosalina’s, “You’re right Rosa, though you have to admit, I was doing a much better job at controlling myself than you.”

The tall blonde raised an eyebrow at the shorter brunette, “Oh is that so?”

“Uh, yeah!” Daisy smirked, placing her hands on her hips, “You couldn’t stop trembling from trying to keep yourself together until you let out the loudest snort I ever heard!”

Rosalina rolled her eyes fondly, tucking a lock of Daisy’s hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. “If that’s what makes you feel better, beloved,” she nuzzled her nose against her girlfriend’s, secretly relishing the way her cheeks flamed.

Daisy pouted and crossed her arms over her chest, “That’s cheating.”

“Alright lovebirds,” Peach made her way over to the other two princesses, “How about we focus on our groom here and making sure he’s prepared for his wedding.”

Daisy lit up at that, “Hell yeah!”

“I agree, we should keep our priorities in order,” Rosalina nodded.

Mario gripped his younger brother’s shoulders, “What do you say Lu? Food first then the make-up and dress?”

“Yeah,” Luigi leaned into Mario’s touch, “That sounds great.”

“Alright!” Peach cheered, “Strap yourselves in ladies and gentlemen, we’re gonna make a magical wedding!”

Everyone seemed to light up at Peach’s words. Once they pizzas were devoured, Mario had gone behind a divider to put on his tuxedo while the princesses focused on Luigi’s make-up, each of them having a turn before letting the other take over so they could put their own make-up on. It was a simple look they went for, white eyeshadow that held a little bit of sparkle, a soft pink blush and a peach coloured and flavoured lip gloss (it had belonged to the princess of that same name).

Once Mario was changed, the girls went behind the divider to change into their bridesmaids’ dresses while the older brother assisted Luigi with his gown.

The princesses emerged a while later wearing similar yet different dresses. Each dress had the same glittering tulle fabric, sweetheart neckline and full-length pleated skirt, the only different being the colours and sleeves. They all had the princesses’ respective royal colours, pink, yellow and blue, while Peach had short puff sleeves, Rosalina had off -the-shoulder ones that ended at the start of her wrists and Daisy wore no sleeves at all.

The girls gasped when they saw Luigi in his white wedding dress for the first time. It had a sheer blouse with little buttons leading from the collar to the bodice on top, which had a straight neckline and was embroidered with glittering vines, starting from the top of the neckline and ending at the top of a puffy, shimmering ballgown skirt. It was all topped off with a silver, sparkly tiara rested on the top of his head.

“Oh Luigi!” Peach brought her hands to her mouth, holding back tears, “You look-”

“-You look smoking baby!” Daisy grinned, bumping her hips against his as Luigi smiled bashfully.

“I agree with Daisy,” Rosalina nodded, taking her girlfriend’s hand into her own, “You look wonderful Luigi.”

Luigi rubbed his hands nervously, “Thank you everyone,” Luigi sniffed, Mario gently wiped the tear away so it wouldn’t ruin his make-up. Luigi let out a heavy sigh, “I think my nerves are acting up again.”

“Everything is gonna be fine Lu,” Mario reassured him, wrapping an arm around his younger brother and rubbed his back, “The moment Bowser sees you, he’s probably propose a thousand more times!”

That made Luigi laugh a little bit, some of his tension starting to relieve.

“Your brother is right Luigi,” Rosalina took a step towards him, “I’ve seen how Bowser looks at you and trust me when I say that I know how he feels about you since…I feel the same way with someone else.” Rosalina turned her head towards her girlfriend, Daisy squeezing the blonde’s hand as her smile widened.

“Also,” Peach started, “The big fella hasn’t been able to keep his hands off you ever since the two of you met, you’ve got him wrapped around your finger and I’m dying to see the look on his face when he sees you in that dress.”

“Hey, maybe I should wear a dress when we get married?” Mario suggested.

Peach squealed at her fiancé, “Yes! You would look so adorable in a dress! We would match and-!”

“-Okay heteroes, slow down,” Daisy interjected, shaking her head fondly at the pink princess and her plumber, “This day isn’t about you, let’s put our focus back on our groom here.”

“Well, what about you Daisy,” Luigi smirked at his friend, “You and Rosalina have been together for quite a while, when are you two getting hitched?”

Daisy spluttered and gasped while Rosalina’s face went as red as a tomato and hide her face in her hands at Luigi’s cheeky question. “H-hey! We haven’t- well we have talked but- It’s none of your business Luigi!” Daisy pouted, stomping over to her girlfriend, and burying her head in the blonde’s chest as Rosalina wrapped her arms around the shorter princess and hid her face in Daisy’s brown hair.

Peach and Mario absolutely lost it at what Luigi said, the latter slapping his knee as he and Peach howled with laughter. “Dang bro!” Mario wiped a tear from his eye, “You really have been spending quite some time with Bowser, haven’t you?!”

Luigi smiled softly, his mind drifting to the koopa, “Yeah…and today marks the start of a new life with him.”

Mario took his brother’s hand, “It’s almost time to go out soon, you ready?”

“Yeah,” Luigi nodded, “I really am.”

Peach wrapped her arms around her soon to be brother-in-law, “We’re so happy for you Luigi. And if you’re still feeling nervous, something tells me that Bowser also just as nervous as you are.”

“What? No way,” Luigi retorted with a snort, “I’ll bet you that Bowser isn’t freaking out right now.”

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“I am totally freaking out right now!” Bowser hissed through clenched teeth. The wedding was taking place at the top of the volcano inhabiting Bowser’s floating castle. The seats were flooded with members of each kingdom – including his own subjects, the Mushroom Kingdom’s, Sarasaland’s, the Luma’s, the Jungle Kingdom, The Penguin Kingdom and Luigi’s family as well (Luigi’s mother, while sweet, still scared the life out of Bowser).

The king of the koopa’s was praying to whatever god was out there that he wasn’t sweating through his three-piece-suit. He wore a black blazer and trousers with accents on the cuffs of both that were shaped and coloured like fire. Underneath the blazer was a red blouse and covering his feet were a pair of shiny coal boots. His hair was swooped to the side and had decorated his eyes with eyeliner to make them pop out more. Now he really hoped he wasn’t sweating right now as he thought about that make-up.

“You’re gonna be fine Papa,” Junior piped up, his little ‘best man’ standing by his side, “Babbo was worrying about the same thing earlier, he wants to marry you as much as you want to marry him.”

“But he’s not here yet!” He whispered to his son, “Why’s he not here yet? Is he hurt? Did he change his mind and realise that I’m not good enough for him?!”

“If I may sire?” Kamek said, standing next to his surrogate son to officiate the wedding, “The reason he’s not here yet is because its not time for him to walk down the aisle, we still have five minutes before the ceremony starts. Also, that young man is one of the sweetest humans that I have ever met in my entire life, his dedication to the love that you to share is the strongest that I’ve ever seen. I find it impossible that he has changed his mind about his decision to marry you.”

Bowser sighed, “You’re right Kamek, you’re right. I know Luigi would never do that. Its just…I love him so much; I don’t ever want to lose him or have anything happen to him.”

Kamek smiled, “I’m aware sire and I think what you two have is wonderful. Now straighten your back, wipe that sweat off your brow and pull yourself together.”

“I can’t help that I’m sweating!” Bowser retorted, wiping the back of his head against his forehead, “Why is it so damn hot!”

“Dad, we literally live inside a volcano, of course its hot,” Junior deadpanned, “Also, you’ve been in heat hotter than this and literally never said a word!”

Bowser’s eyes widened, “Oh.”

It was when the strings from the wedding band’s instruments began to pluck did Bowser take Kamek’s advice, fixing himself up as he looked towards the doors that Luigi would be walking out of soon. The subjects from each kingdom and Luigi’s family turned as to the doors as well (Luigi’s niece had also began recording everything on their phone). The princesses walked out first in a triangle formation, making their way to the end of the aisle as they stood to the side where Luigi would be soon. Peach nodded respectfully to Bowser, the latter nodding back knowing that the pink princess was happy that this wedding would have her or anyone else be forced into marrying the koopa king. Then it was Polterpup’s turn, the ghostly dog prancing down with a red bow around his neck as he carried a pillow with the rings to the end of the aisle.

Once she made her way to her spot, the strings of the band softened. Bowser’s stomach churned, looking to the ground as he shuffled his feet nervously. It was only when he heard gasps from the crowd, did he finally look up. His jaw dropped. With his arm linked with his older brother’s to give him away, Luigi started walking down the aisle. He was so beautiful, to the way his eyes sparkled with the skirt of his dress, his blush blossoming against his cheeks and the smile he gave Bowser as he got closer and closer to him.

All of Bowser’s doubts went away as he returned the smile to his soon-to-be-husband. Everything was going to be fine; he was going to get married to the most amazing man he ever met and be the happiest he had ever been in his life.

He held his hands out to Luigi, who shared one more look with his older brother. Mario nodded, taking Luigi’s small hands into Bowser’s as he went over to join Peach. Bowser tightened his grip on his fiancé’s hands ever so gently as Luigi’s smile turned watery, joy talking over the tiny human. It seemed to be infecting Bowser as well, for the same look started to appear on his face as well.

It was perfect.

Kamek cleared his throat, “Dearly belove-haackkkk!!!!!”

Everyone gasped as a rock collided to the magikoopa’s back, sending him to the ground unconscious. Bowser wanted to go check on him, but the roaring of an airship had him whipping his head round to find the culprit who did this. A growl left his throat as he found out who’s airship this was once he saw the emblem on the front.

“King Boo,” Luigi whimpered.

Bowser could feel his fiancé trembling, stepping in front of him to protect him from the boos and ghosts starting to pour out of the ship and spooking some of the guests in their seats. Polterpup growled at the invaders who had frightened his master plenty of times before.

A wicked cackle echoed throughout the air, making everyone jump as King Boo appeared in front of Bowser and Luigi. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the happy couple!” he grinned maliciously, “I sure hope I didn’t ruin anything!”

“You weren’t wanted here Boo!” Bowser snarled at the poltergeist, “Leave while you can before you find out if you’re able to die twice!”

King Boo let out a fake, melodramatic gasp, placing his hand to his mouth as though he were offended, “Now Bowser, is that really any way to greet an old friend? I’m simply here to offer my congratulations, or rather, my condolences. After all, since your ‘Peaches’ was already snatched up by Mario over here, you’d have to go for leftovers instead.”

The disrespectful words that King Boo had for Bowser’s soon-to-be-husband was enough to infuriate Bowser. He swiped his claws at the ghost, sending King Boo back a few feet before crouching onto all fours in front of his fiancé in a protective stance, breath heaving with soft but threatening growls and a dangerous glint in his eyes and King Boo dared to come closer. “If you say one more word about my fiancé, I will make you regret every single time you’ve lured him to your mansions!”

“My, my!” King Boo drawled, a smirk on satisfaction creeping onto his pale – lack of – complexion, “Aren’t we defensive today?! I was merely stating the truth!”

“Then its clear that you have no idea what the truth is actually!” Bowser spat at him, “I love Luigi more than you can even comprehend, because of him I was able to be inspired to become better koopa and leader! Something that no one can say about you!”

King Boo grit his teeth and growled at that latest remark, when he saw that a few of his own subjects were giggling at Bowser’s words he sent them a cold glare, reminding them of their place. “At least I haven’t become soft enough to not expect an attack,” he turned to his boos, “GET THEM!”

In a flash, the boo’s and the koopa were immediately at each other’s throats. The toads were trying to lead the guests and Junior back into the castle to avoid them getting hurt, Rosalina had pulled out her hidden wand from her sleeve and casting spells to avoid the boo’s attacks, Daisy wasn’t hesitating to punch and kick as hard as she could and had some colourful language each time a boo tried to land a hit on her before she retaliated – if the boo’s didn’t know not to mess with her before then they did now -, Mario and Peach were working together, each of them using and ice and fire flower respectively to try and form a wall of heat and cold to guard Luigi from King Boo. As for the couple, Bowser remained on all fours, blasting fire from his throat every time King Boo tried to take even an inch towards Luigi.

Luigi’s eyes darted around the place in panic, from his fiancé to his brother, to the princesses and King Boo as well. Polterpup was beside him as a source of comfort to prevent him from further spiralling. Is this why E. Gadd hadn’t shown up to the wedding? After all the old scientist expressed nothing but joy at his surrogate son getting married, did King Boo do something to make sure he didn’t intervene with his plans?! If only he had his Poltergust with him, instead of standing around doing nothing. He did want to help but his dress would prevent him from landing any attacks and he had the feeling that everyone was a bit more protective over him due to the sudden turn of events.

When things seemed like it couldn’t get any worse, the boom of a canon made Luigi’s blood run cold. Along the side of King Boo’s ship were cannons firing towards the alter, hitting close to everyone and sending them flying a few feet and landing on their sides.

Luigi got up from his spot after getting hit, the bottom hem of his skirt singed, his ears were ringing and his head was pounding. Looking up and seeing that Bowser was on the ground and good length away from him, the koopa king was trying to get up but put too much weight on an injured arm and collapsed to the ground again.

Forgetting the screaming headache, Luigi tried to rush to Bowser, but was snatched up by two boos. He felt himself being lifted from the ground, letting out a panicked cry as he was led away to King Boo’s ship.

The poltergeist grinned maliciously; everything was going according to plan. With a whistle, the rest of his boos stopped attacking and trailed back onto the ship.

After standing up and regaining his bearing, Bowser’s immediate instinct was to look for Luigi. His eyes widened when he couldn’t see his fiancé anywhere, only for his heart to plummet to the pit of his stomach when he finally saw Luigi being hauled away onto the ship.

“BOWSER!” Luigi cried out for him.

Injured arm be damned, Bowser was on all fours again, trying to chase after the ship and boos, “LUIGI!”

But it was too late, Luigi was gone and in King Boo’s grasp.

Everyone else was starting to come to, Mario rubbing his chest where he got hit before rushing to Peach and helping her to her feet. Rosalina had sat up from where she was sitting, cradling a barely lucid Daisy in her lap as the brunette tried to keep her eyes open. Even Kamek, who had remained from where he was hit, was finally waking up.

“Why does this always happen to me at weddings?” the magikoopa grumbled. However, his ceased with his mumbling when he saw his son pacing around on all fours, limping on his front left arm. “Bowser! What happened?! Here now let me see that arm!”

When Kamek when to touch his arm, the king whirled round and snarled at the new unknown threat, only to whimper with guilt when he saw that it was only his father figure trying to help. “Don’t worry, I know you’re not in the right headspace at the moment,” Kamek soothed the panicked koopa, “Just let me heal that arm of yours before it gets any worse. While I do that could somebody please tell me what on earth happened here!”

“It was King Boo,” Rosalina spoke up, still cradling Daisy in her arms as she stood up, “It seems as though he decided to invite himself last minute and left quite a…mess, to say the least.” The space princess grimaced as she looked around at the exploded seats, splattered wedding cake and singes in the walls as well.

“Wait a minute,” Mario looked around, realisation seeping in, “Did he take Luigi?!”

“I should’ve stopped him,” Bowser murmured as Kamek finished his healing spell, “I’m supposed to be stronger than this.”

“Now that is just nonsense!” Kamek spluttered, “King Boo is nothing but an unhappy overgrown marshmallow who thrives upon the misery of others who earn their happiness through kindness and courage. None of this is your fault.”

“You don’t understand,” Bowser shook his head, “When I proposed to Luigi I made a promise to him, his family and Mario that no matter what I would always protect him and love him as selflessly as possible, and I failed him before we could even exchange vows,” he turned to Mario, “I’m so sorry I broke my promise.”

“Hey!” Mario frowned, “I might not have understood you and Luigi at first, but the more I saw you too together, the more I realised who you truly are underneath that shell of yours. Luigi might not have changed you, but he did inspire you to become the version of yourself that you wanted to be. You loving Luigi made me see just how far you’ve come, Kamek’s right, its not your fault that King Boo is a selfish prick!”

“Mario!” Peach gasped.

Mario chuckled before turning back to the koopa, “You promised to keep Luigi safe and to love him selflessly, not for King Boo to kidnap him. If you really wanna keep your promise, we’re gonna get our shit together, storm King Boo’s castle and get my brother back!”

“Now that is something I can definitely agree on,” Kamek smiled, who had used his healing spell on everyone and was moving onto Daisy. The second he waved his wand, Daisy jumped out of her girlfriend’s arms, picked up a dropped sword from the ground and raised it above her head.

“LET’S KICK SOME BLOODY BOO ARSE” She screeched.

“Daisy,” Rosalina shook her head fondly at the brunette.

Bowser smiled softly, he took in his new family, the family he would be marrying into. He never thought he could be this happy, or that he was allowed to be this happy. But ever since meeting Luigi, he found himself confronting the worst parts of himself that he had avoiding for so long, denying that he was in the wrong. But the more he learned about the brothers’ adventures, about the evils that were worse than him, including Luigi’s trips to King Boo’s mansions, he knew that he wanted to be better than that. It took a lot of trial and error, but it was worth. He became a better ruler, a kinder soul, a gentle lover. All of that was thanks to Luigi.

Bowser finally stood to his full height, rolling his shoulders back and letting a few bones crack. “Let’s make King Boo pay.”

Everyone grinned at one another, plans already formulating in their heads on how to get Luigi back. “We can’t just waltz right in there with nothing, especially without a change of clothes,” she glanced down at her ruined dress, pouting at the state.

“We’ll also need someone who’s dealt with boos before,” Mario agreed.

“Then its decided,” Kamek spoke up, “After a change of clothes, we’ll head straight to E. Gadd and get his help. If King Boo has done something to him, we’ll have to act fast.”

.

.

.

Luigi sighed as he tried to unlock the door again. Once they arrived at King Boo’s castle, the mad ruler shoved him into an empty bedroom and locked the door behind him. He had to admit, the room was hauntingly beautiful, from the grey and black walls to the luxurious queen-sized canopy bed to the sparkling chandelier, it was a sceptical to look at. The cons however were the locked door and the lack of windows, reminding Luigi that he was still a prisoner.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, only that it was after the hundredth time of trying to unlock the door did, he give his tired hands a break. He kicked off his heels and collapsed onto the bed, he just wanted to go home. He wanted to hear his brother’s awful jokes, his family nagging at his to eat, to have tea with the princesses, play video games with Junior and snuggle up in Bowser’s arms as the koopa played the piano for him. Why was King Boo always trying to ruin things for him?! Could he not have one day where the ghostly king would leave him be?

Suddenly, a boo was floating through the wall, making Luigi let out a strangled gasp as he backed up on the bed, pressing his bed against the pillows. “Now, now dear boy there’s no need to panic,” the boo reassured him, “My name is Bingley, I’m only here to help with your fitting.”

“My what?”

“Your fitting, by King Boo’s orders,” Bingley informed him.

Luigi shook his head in disbelief, “Wait, wait, wait, why would King Boo-?”

“Please young sir, the master is already upset and anymore delays would only increase his anger,” Bingley pleaded with him and was over to Luigi in an instant, pulling him off the bed and in front of a mirror. In a flash, the boo had managed to pull out a roll of measuring tape, measure out each length of Luigi’s limbs and floated out the room again. Luigi only had a moment to pull himself together before Bingley floated back into the room with a black gown in his arms. “For you good sir. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to continue with preparations, I’ll leave you to get changed.”

“Wait I-!” Luigi called out, but to no avail, the boo was gone again. With a sigh, he held up the gown. It seemed nice enough, plus he was in enemy territory so refusing the garment could make things worse.

He carefully stripped off his white dress, laying it gently on the bed before pulling on the black one. Once he was complete, he looked at himself in the mirror. The new dress he wore consisted of a tight-laced over-bust corset with a poofy bertha across his collarbones and shoulders, lace bell sleeves that drooped over his wrists, a ruffled high-low skirt that trailed at the back and exposed his legs, lacey black tights that hugged his curved thighs generously and a pair of black heels were left by the side of his bed for him to complete his look.

Luigi flushed at the new look, while he loved wearing dresses and gowns along with his regular shirts and slacks, this was a style that he had never thought about trying before so he certainly wasn’t used to how this new outfit looked on him. It was nice but it left him blushing at the thought of walking out of this room wearing it.

Just as he was slipping on his heels, Bingley floated through the walls again, marvelling his work, “Oh marvellous, you look simply marvellous! I must say this is my best work yet. Now all we need is the veil and the look will be complete.”

“Veil!” Luigi spluttered, “Why do I need a veil?!”

“Isn’t it obvious Luigi,” The mocking voice of King Boo made Luigi freeze in his spot as he slowly turned to face the monarch, “We’re gonna get married!”

“…WHAT?!” Luigi screamed; fear started to settle in again.

“Well it makes sense, doesn’t it?” King Boo sneered, “Your beloved Bowser always kidnapped Peach back when he was a bad guy and you and your brother would always go meddling with his plans to get her back. But now since Bowser wants to be a goody-two-shoes, he thinks that he can get away with leaving our friendship behind! Well tough shit! If he wants to play the good guy, then he’s gonna get treated the way good guys should!”

“So let me get this straight, the only reason you’re marrying me is just to get back at Bowser for wanting to be a better person, or in his case koopa?” Luigi deadpanned.

“Well duh, you honestly think I’m doing this because I like you?!” King Boo gagged, Luigi didn’t know whether to feel flattered or offended that the thought of marrying him made the ghost feel sick. “I’m letting that dragon wannabe get a taste of his own medicine, the only difference is that when he’s getting here, he ain’t walking out with a victory or a bride in his arms.”

The monarch cackled, frightening Luigi all over again. Even before he and Bowser got together, he always believed that King Boo was the worse out of the two. Even though Bowser was great when they first met – to put it mildly- in a way, he still cared for his subjects and believed that his wrong actions were good in a way. There were even times as foes when the koopa would help him and his brother on missions, showing some light in the koopa that proved he was worth redemption. But with King Boo, he wasn’t in denial about being awful, he loved being horrible and committed each terrible actions with glee, and the way he spoke to and about his subjects make Luigi gawk at how someone could say such unkind things with a grin of his face.

The king took that as his sign to leave. Bingley followed behind, a sad look on his face. “I’m sorry,” was the last thing he said before disappearing.

Luigi sunk to his knees, the reality of the situation becoming much clearer than before, he could only hope that this would end how his and Mario’s adventures would and Bowser will be able to save him. “Oh Bowser,” he whimpered, “Please hurry,”

.

.

.

“This is where the old man stays?” the koopa king inquired, as he, the princesses, Mario and Kamek came up to the Evershade Valley Mansions, koopa and toad soldiers following behind. They had changed out of their formal attire before arriving, with Mario wearing his normal overalls, the princesses changed into their biker suits, Bowser had dawned his normal spiked neck and arm bracers while Kamek continued to war his blue cloak. Polterpup was currently trailing by Bowser’s feet, offering as much comfort as he could to his master’s fiancé.

“From what Luigi told me, E. Gadd continued his research here along with a few ghost that didn’t want to be acquainted with King Boo,” Mario informed the group, scanning his surroundings at the same time.

“I don’t know whether to a grateful or wary about the lack of ghosts here,” said Peach, clutching her axe “Keep your eyes open in case it’s a trap.”

“Whether the ghosts assisted King Boo with stabilising the doctor or they had no choice in the matter,” Kamek spoke up, “It is important to wait until we find E. Gadd before jumping to any conclusions.”

The group nodded in agreement when suddenly, Polterpup sniffed the air as a familiar scent was caught in the air. With an excited yip, he tore down the path down to the main mansion ahead.

“Polterpup, wait!” Bowser called out.

“We need to go after him,” said Mario, “He probably knows where E. Gadd is!”

Bowser turned to the guards outside, “You all stay there and keep watch, inform us immediately if you see anything suspicious!”

The soldiers nodded as the group chased down the little blur of white as the pup faded through the walls of the mansion. They opened the doors as carefully as they could, making sure not to alert any ghosts that could still be wandering by.

They spotted the little dog sniffing the floor, turning his head to the group as though he were telling them to follow him. Bowser was the first to move, desperate to find the doctor as soon as possible so that Luigi was back and safe with him. After a few twists and turns, Polterpup soon led them down a basement. Lo and behold, frozen in a painting was E. Gadd, his face frozen with terror. Polterpup whined at the state the old man was in, looking up to Bowser pleadingly.

Bowser patted the little dog’s head, “Don’t worry boy, we’ll get him out.” He turned to the others, “What was the device that Luigi used that helped get you out of the portrait?”

“He said something about a dark-light device,” said Mario, “I’ll go look for it, I’m quite familiar with place.”

“I’ll come with you,” Peach placed a hand on his shoulder, “I don’t want you doing this alone.”

“Are you sure?” Mario asked, “You’ve never been here before, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I know, but I have been caught by King Boo before, so I know how it feels,” Peach reassured him, “Besides, Luigi means a lot to me as well and I want to help get him back.”

Mario smiled warmly, taking Peach’s hand off his shoulder and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it, “Okay.”

“We’ll stay here with Bowser,” said Rosalina, gesturing to herself, Daisy and Kamek, “In case anything happens.”

Mario and Peach nodded, making their way back up the stairs as they searched the empty mansion.

“Be careful, the last thing we needed is someone sneaking up on us,” Mario told her.

“Don’t worry dear, I can handle myself,” Peach answered. When arriving at the second floor, the due came across a room that seem to be more lived in than the others. The sheets of the bed were clean, the wardrobe was half open and filled with clothing, and a chest with E. Gadd’s crest on the front of it. Peach turned to Mario with a proud smirk on her face, “I believe we have a lead.”

Mario grinned at the Princess as the two made there way over, “There seems to be a lock on this.”

“Stand back,” Peach gently pushed him away as the lifted the axe before her head, but before it could make contact with anything, a ghost burst its head out of the chest, startling her and making her fall back.

“Peach!” Mario cried out, rushing over to her and helping her up.

“Leave!” the ghost screeched, though not as angry as it tried to make itself out to be, it was more worried and fearful is anything, “Leave while you can!”

“Sorry,” Mario shook his head, “But I’ve got a brother to save.”

The sound of bars slamming the ground made the due whip their heads round, the door was blocked by some sort of ectoplasm bars and more ghosts teleporting into the room. With quick thinking, Peach slammed her axe down onto the chest, breaking it and revealing a poltergust and a dark light. Mario quickly grabbed the two items, slinging the poltergust onto his side and clipping the dark light to his belt, “Peach, cover me!”

The princess nodded, swinging her axe at any ghost that tried to come close to her or Mario. Quickly switching the poltergust on, he aimed it towards the first ghost that tried to attack them, as the poltergust began sucking the ghost in, Mario slammed him to the ground a few times before the ghost was fully stored inside. This continued on, with Peach guarding his back with her axe while Mario sucked in the ghosts. During this he couldn’t help but feel proud of his baby brother, this is what he did every time Mario was captured and managed to do it each time without fail. He was definitely going to pay for Luigi and Bowser’s honeymoon the second they find him.

Once the last ghost was sucked up, the duo raced out of the room and back down to the basement before they were stopped again. Bowser perked up the minute he saw the dark light.

“You got it!” Bowser exclaimed.

“Yeah, not without a little trail and error first,” Mario chuckled, “Stand aside, I’m getting the doctor out.”

As Bowser did that, Mario attached the dark light to the poltergust and aimed it to the painting. With the flick of the switch and the soft glow of the dark light doing its work, E. Gadd stumbled out on the painting and fell onto his bottom. Polterpup barked happily and went over to lick the old man’s face.

“Oh my, Polterpup please give me some space!” E. Gadd spluttered.

Bowser suppressed a laugh as he lifted the pup up with one hand, “It’s good to see you again doctor.”

“I express the same sentiments, although I do wish it was under different circumstances,” the old man muttered.

“Would you mind explaining what happened here?” Kamek asked.

“Well its simple really, I was preparing myself for Luigi’s wedding until that blasted King Boo barged in and grabbed my dark light before I had any time to react. When I tried to call out to my ghost friends, King Boo had forced them to assist him and threated that they face dire consequences if they didn’t do as he commanded. In the blink of an eye I was suddenly in the painting and was forced to listen to his plans with Luigi,” E. Gadd recounted his story.

“Plans with Luigi?” Bowser frowned, dread returning once again, “What plans does he have with my fiancé?”

“For some reason, that mad King believes that the best way to get back at you is kidnapping and marrying Luigi!” E. Gadd told him.

“He plans to what?” Bowser growled, the thought of his sweet and kind Luigi being forced to marry the one he feared most made his stomach churn.

“Apparently the king was quite upset that you left your friendship behind,” said E. Gadd, “He wants to recreate each time you’ve kidnapped Peach in order for you to get a taste of your own medicine.”

Daisy burst out laughing, “I really don’t mean to react like this but oh my god! Bowser’s finally getting karma I can’t believe it! This is what you get for kidnapping my best friend!”

“Daisy, please,” Rosalina sighed, “Don’t mind her, she means well.”

Bowser groaned and rubbed his face, “She’s kinda right though, I deserve this after putting Peach through all of my ridiculous plans.”

“Which you have shown remorse for and I’ve already forgiven you,” said Peach, “Now I believe you have a fiancé to rescue before he becomes someone else’s bride.”

The image of Luigi and King Boo flashing in his mind was what made his head get back into the game, “Doctor, tell me you have something to help save Luigi.”

“Well lucky for you my friends, I have learned a little titbit over my years of research,” the old man grinned, “Always make sure to pack extra.”

.

.

.

Luigi sighed as he clutched a bouquet of black roses as he waited at the doors that were attached to the castle ballroom. He wished he was back in the koopa kingdom, wearing the dress that he chose, walking down the aisle with Mario, smiling at all his friends and family as he and Bowser exchanged vows. Why did this always happen to him? And why did it have to be today of all days?

“Mister Luigi?” A little voice piped up.

Luigi looked to his left, a soft smile forming on his lips as he saw a little baby boo by his side, “Oh, hello piccolo. Are you alright?”

“I was actually going to ask you that,” the baby boo said, “I know you find our master really scary.”

Luigi’s face fell a little, “He doesn’t really like me that much.”

“Then why does he want to marry you?” the little boo asked, “My mama always said that you should marry for love.”

“And your mama is absolutely right,” Luigi tapped the boo on the nose – or where its nose should be – “But King Boo is doing this for the wrong reasons, that’s why I’m so sad.”

“I’m sorry,” the baby boo nuzzled itself into Luigi’s neck, with Luigi nuzzling right back.

“It’s not your fault bambino,” Luigi patted its head, “Sometimes there are those who do these types of things and we often don’t know why they do it.”

“I hope that you’ll get to marry someone you love soon,” said the little baby boo, “I don’t know if this will make you happy, but you look really pretty!”

Luigi chuckled and nuzzled the boo again, “Thank you, that does make me feel a bit happy.”

The sound of trumpets made him gasp; the wedding was starting.

“I have to go,” the baby boo whimpered, “I don’t want to get in trouble, be careful Mister Luigi!”

The boo disappeared as the doors opened. Luigi gulped as he forced himself to walk down the aisle. The guests consisted of other ghosts and boos, looking extremely guilty about the whole ordeal. At the end of the aisle was King Boo, smugly straightening a bowtie. Luigi dreaded for what would happen once he made it to the end, pleading internally for something – anything – to put an end to this.

He made it to the end of the aisle, King Boo grinning as a ghost officiant began his speech. “We are gathered here to celebrate the union between our King and the green half of the Mushroom Kingdom Heroes,” the ghost began to shake under the fearful stare King Boo was giving him, “Though this couple seems unlikely, it is this ceremony that shows-”

“-Yada, yada, yada!” King Boo interrupted, looking irritated already, “Just skip to the ‘I do’s’ would ya!”

“Um, yes, of course your majesty,” the ghost stammered, “Do you King Boo accept Luigi’s hand in marriage.”

King Boo cackled, “I do,”

“And do you Luigi accept our King as your husband,” the ghost turned to the human.

Luigi trembled, desperately wanting to say no. But he was at the mercy of the king, if he was to say no who knows what would happen? The last thing he wanted was for anyone to get hurt because of him. Someone, please, get me out of here! Help me, please!

Crash!

The windows shattered, glass falling everywhere, Luigi lifted to arms to shield himself but when he lowered them, Bowser was stood in front of him with a poltergust in hand. “Bowser!” he all but cried tears of happiness seeing the love of his life.

“Luigi!” yelled back with the same amount of joy.

The human was about to run to the koopa when he was grabbed by King Boo and the two of them were ascended to the ceiling. “Sorry old friend!” King Boo sneered, “But your little human belongs to me now!”

“Um, actually sire,” the ghost officiant spoke up, cowering when King Boo glared down at him, “The human didn’t repeat his vows, therefore you too aren’t married yet.”

“WHAT?!” King Boo screeched, turning back to Bowser, “It doesn’t matter, whether he likes it or not, Luigi will be my subject.” He turned to the rest of the ghosts and boos “What are you waiting for?! GET HIM!”

Within seconds, every single boo and ghost went to attack Bowser straight away. The koopa was prepared however, taking out the poltergust and aiming it at each one that came his way. When one boo or ghost was being sucked up, Bowser would slam them to the ground, dodge aa hit from another attacker, slam the half sucked-up ghost to the attacker, and repeat again each time after a ghost or boo was stored away into the poltergust.

“That’s it Bowser!” Luigi cheered, earning a proud and flustered grin from the koopa, “That’s my fiancé!”

“Would you shut up!” King Boo screeched into his ear, “Hurry up and say I do before I make you regret it!”

“Never in a million years,” Luigi retorted, feeling a bit bolder, “I have faith that Bowser is going to defeat you, if you’re going to pretend to be like my fiancé, you have to accept that you’re going to lose like he did.”

“I heard that!” Bowser yelled.

“PRETEND?!” King Boo screamed, “I AM TWICE THE KING THAN BOWSER WILL EVER BE! HERE, IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, I’LL SHOW YA! SQUISH HIM FLAT YOU FOOLS!”

The ghosts and boos paled at that order, they only wanted to distract Bowser, even if it wasn’t working. But deep down, they were secretly hoping that the koopa would be able to stop them so they wouldn’t need to deal with King Boo’s cruelty anymore. But an order was an order and there was no other back up plan. One by one, each boo and ghost piled on top of the koopa king, for what they lacked in size, the poltergeists made up in numbers. Soon, Bowser was stuck to the ground, trying desperately to keep a grip on the poltergust, but it slipped from his grasp.

“No!” Luigi tried to scramble out of King Boo’s hold, but it was too tight.

The king laughed maniacally, “Here’s the deal wimp, you other complete your vows, or I end your precious koopa right here right now. The choice is yours.”

Luigi bit his lip, glancing at the winded koopa on the ground, he didn’t want to make this worse than it already was. But just as he was about to agree, a faint chuckling rose from below the boo and human.

“Wow!” Bowser laughed, to the confusion of King Boo and his subjects, “How is your ego worse than mine old pal?”

“Excuse me,” King Boo growled, “You’re nothing but a pathetic waste on my castle floors, I have your little Luigi at my beck and call, yet you still believe that you can win this?!”

“I do, actually,” Bowser smirked, “I just have to wait in three…two…one.”

The roof crumbled, long ropes falling from the empty hole above as the toad and koopa armies swung down, poltergusts in tow. Within seconds, they were sucking up the boos and ghosts off Bowser, with the koopa lifting himself to his feet, rolling his shoulders back and picked his poltergust up from the ground. The princesses, Mario, E. Gadd and Kamek made their way down as well, with Mario and E. Gadd being the only ones with Poltergusts. Kamek and Rosalina had their wands while Daisy wielded a sword and Peach an axe.

Many more boos and ghosts flooded the ballroom, but by the looks on their faces, they were no match for Bowser’s friends and armies.

“COME AT ME YOU OVERGROWN MARSHMALLOWS!” Daisy shrieked at the incoming poltergeists.

“I’d advise surrendering,” Rosalina murmured, “My patience grows thin when my friends are endangered. Either that or you face my darling Daisy, trust me, you’d rather surrender now.”

“You ruin my son’s wedding and kidnapped my future son-in-law,” Kamek grumbled, “I plan to make your consequences extremely severe.”

“King Boo!” E. Gadd screamed, “Your lucky that if it wasn’t for Luigi, I’d burn your portraits by now, research be damned!”

“Luigi is one of my best friends,” Peach spoke calmly, though her eyes darkened, “I don’t take it well when people hurt my friends.”

“You shouldn’t have taken my brother!” Mario shouted, “One thing I always make sure is if anyone messes with Luigi, they regret it deeply!”

“Luigi is the love of my life,” smoke escaped from Bowser’s nostrils, the threat of what was to come being extremely clear, “You hurt him one too many times, and now, I’m going to take great pride with finding out just how to make you suffer for it.”

Luigi felt King Boo tremble, there was no denying how obvious it was, despite the stoic look he tried to maintain. “I-I…JUST SAY ‘I DO’ ALREADY YOU LITTLE!!!---” King Boo didn’t manage to finish his sentence when fire escaped from Bowser’s mouth, making the king drop Luigi.

Luigi screamed, afraid that he was going to meet the hard marble of the ground when he felt himself plopped into something warm and scaly. Taking in his surroundings, he noticed that the hand he was in had bright yellow scaled. Looking up, he met his fiancé’s beautiful red eyes and a tearful smile pulled at his lips, “Bowser, you came for me!”

He lunged himself at the koopa, gripping him tight in a hug. The koopa chuckled as he gripped Luigi back, “I wasn’t gonna let some dumb boo ruin our wedding. Besides, I promised to protect you, that means rescuing you from impromptu kidnappings.” Luigi pulled back, gentling cradling the koopa’s face in his hands before bringing him into a kiss. Bowser returned the kiss with the same amount of softness, before gently pulling back and resting his forehead against Luigi’s. It was then when his eyes trailed over Luigi’s form and noticed the new gown he was in. He blushed at the amount of exposed skin from Luigi’s tight-clad legs.

Once Luigi noticed the koopa’s gaze on him, he buried his face into his hands, squealing, “Oh god, I just realised I had this on! This is so embarrassing!”

“Well I’ll give King Boo this,” Bowser smirked, “He has a good taste in fashion. Though, I think its mostly you, you’re able to pull off everything.”

“Stop,” Luigi’s face was as red as his brother’s overalls, though he secretly loved the complement, “I genuinely don’t know how to feel about this dress, its really not my usual style.”

Bowser took pity on his fiancé’s flustered state, so he tore off a piece of a black curtain and wrapped it around the human. He pressed a kiss to the human’s forehead, “Better?”

“Much,” Luigi rested his head against the koopa’s muzzle “Thank you.”

“NO, NO!” the screams of King Boo tore the happy couple away from their tender moment as they turned to see the poltergeist being sucked into Mario’s poltergust, the rest of the ghosts and boos seemed to have been sucked up as well while the two were being reunited, “THIS ISN’T FAIR, I’M SUPPOSED TO WIN!”

Daisy whacked the flat edge of her sword against the boo’s head, assisting with Mario’s poltergust sucking up the King. “NO!” was the last word King Boo spoke before he too disappeared into the poltergust.

“And that is what happens what you mess with my brother,” Mario scowled. It quickly faded the moment he saw his brother, “Lu, are you okay?! This fantasma che mangia merda didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No Mario, I’m okay!” Luigi sniffed at the sight of seeing his brother, the red plumber jumping into the koopa’s hand to give his brother a hug, “I’m okay Mario, you don’t need to worry.”

“Good, otherwise I’m getting Daisy to whack him with her sword again,” Mario muffled his words into Luigi’s shoulder, still squeezing him tight.

“I’m up for it!” Daisy put her thumbs up.

“Ah, ah, darling,” Rosalina hooked her thumb under Daisy’s chin, “Behave yourself.”

“Eh-uh-um…Rosa you can’t just pull that on me!” Daisy spluttered, blushing madly.

Luigi giggled, leaning into Bowser’s and Mario hold.

“We’re so glad you’re safe Luigi,” said Peach as she walked up to them, “We’ll make sure that this remains as a one-time thing.”

“After seeing how King Boo reacted to all of you bursting in like that, I’ll have to agree,” Luigi nodded.

“Its good to see you again son,” E. Gadd spoke up, Kamek by his side as the koopa agreed with every word the old man said, “I apologise for not making it to the wedding, as you can tell I was quite…preoccupied.”

“There’s no need to apologise doctor,” Luigi smiled, “I have a feeling we’ll need to push the wedding date back a little bit to clean up the mess King Boo left behind.”

“Well with a little help with my magic, the process should be a bit quicker,” said Kamek, “And I’ll finally have a proper chance to deal with King Boo and his subjects.”

However, at Kamek’s words, Luigi’s eyes flittered over to the full poltergusts in the corner, his smile drooped. Bowser took notice of the human’s change of demeanour immediately, “What’s wrong, love?”

“Its just…” Luigi sighed, turning to Bowser. Mario jumped down to give his brother more room, “I can’t help but feel sorry for the boos and ghosts under King Boo’s rule.”

“What?!” Daisy cried, “Those guys literally helped King Boo kidnap you?! You seriously feel sorry for them?!”

“Its not their fault!” Luigi retorted, “King Boo was forcing them to do that stuff, after all these years with dealing with him I get it. I don’t wait to punish them just because their boss scared them into doing something they didn’t want to do. I’m not saying they shouldn’t face consequences, but I want to give them the benefit of the doubt.” He placed his hand on Bowser’s cheek, “Just like someone else I know.”

Bowser leaned into the human’s touch, “You never cease to amaze me greenie.”

“Kamek,” Luigi turned to the magikoopa, “If you don’t mind, I would like to release these boos and ghosts to make them part of our kingdom, as long as they want to.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Kamek bowed before moving to the poltergusts,” With your permission E. Gadd, I’m going to remove King Boo’s old subjects out off these poltergusts and keep a hold of them, sans the king of course.”

“By all means go ahead,” E. Gadd stepped to the side as Kamek waved his wand, summoning the boos and ghost out of the poltergusts, yet making sure he used his magic to keep them from trying anything.

The poltergeists gazed around the room, confused until their eyes landed on Luigi. The human’s heart twisted when he saw the petrified looks on their faces, “There’s no need to worry, I’m not going to do anything. On behalf of myself and King Bowser, we would like to formally invite you all not only to be guests at our wedding, but to be citizens of our Kingdom as well.”

Each poltergeists’ eyes widened, each of them turning to face another ghost with surprise at the sudden news. “Although we aren’t letting you off the hook just yet,” Bowser spoke up, “We don’t want you to be in fear of King Boo anymore. In our kingdom, you will be safe and treated with the same respect as my own subjects.”

“Only if you wish of course,” Luigi reassured them, but the face splitting excited smiles each of the ghosts and boos had at the news they would finally be free of King Boo informed him what their answer would be. He nodded to Kamek to let them go, the poltergeists swirling and soaring through the air with joy, the baby boo from before rushing over to Luigi to nuzzle him again, with the human cuddling him fondly.

Bowser’s smile widened even more, holding his fiancé closer, wondering how he got so lucky. “Shall we head back home, dearest?”

“I would love that Mio Caro,” Luigi settled into the koopa’s arms, letting his eyes resting as he continued to cuddle the little boo.

Soon all the toads, koopa’s, boos and ghosts had filed up behind the rulers of their kingdoms as they headed back home.

.

.

.

A Few Weeks Later

“Do you Bowser, take Luigi’s hand in marriage as your lawfully wedded husband, to love him unconditionally until the end of time?”

“I do.”

“And do you Luigi, take Bowser’s hand in marriage as your lawfully wedded husband, to love him no matter what comes your way until you reunite in the cosmos?”

“I do.”

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you…married!” Kamek cheered.

The moment Bowser and Luigi’s lips met; the crowd rejoiced. The koopa, boos and toads were all hugging sobbing at the happy couple, Luigi’s family cried for their youngest son as they wished him and Bowser nothing but the best, Junior and Polterpup jumped up and down with joy at the sight of his dads finally being together, E. Gadd was sniffling into Kamek’s robe with the magikoopa complaining how dirty the doctor was getting it, Daisy and Rosalina smiled fondly at the happy couple as each princess planned on how they would propose to each other next, Mario and Peach had their arms around each other as they hoped that one day they would have a wedding just as magical as this. As for Bowser and Luigi, nothing else mattered in this moment apart from each other and how amazing the rest of their lives would be as long as the other was in it.

Luigi lifted his piranha plant bouquet into the air, letting the crowd get ready to catch it. He flung it up and let it go, letting it fly through the air until it landed in Daisy’s arms. She and Rosalina shared a look, the two of them blushing before the blonde smiled and brought the brunette into a soft kiss, the shorter of the two sighing happily against her girlfriend’s lips.

Bowser lifted Luigi into his arms, supporting his waist and legs – along with the poofy skirts of his original white dress – with Junior jumping onto Luigi as the human cuddled his son tight and Polterpup draping himself across Bowser’s shoulder while the koopa patted the pooch’s head.

Everything was perfect, there were no messed up plans, no interruptions and definitely no King Boo. While his old subjects did have a lot to make up for after what they did to Luigi, they were welcomed into the koopa kingdom with open arms. King Boo, however, was sealed tight into a portrait and locked up in a safe where he could never touch Luigi again.

His ocean blue eyes met Bowser’s fiery red once again, though neither of them said a word, they knew exactly what the other was silently asked for. They would have to go in for photos and the after party soon, but Luigi wanted to relish this moment as much as he could.

So before anything and everything else, the couple’s lips pressed into one more gentle kiss. And finally, all was right.

.

.

.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this little birthday gift. Have a great rest of your day xx.

[strang3lov3]

I AM HERE TO COMMENCE BOTHERATIONS WITH THE ASK THING. 3, 12, 28, 62 :3c

HI BABY! Bother away, hot stuff ❤️‍🔥

3. How many tattoos I have and what they are:

You’re gonna wanna sit down for this. I brought pictures for show and tell, instead of taking up this post with a big buncha text. And tumblr wouldn’t let me post all of my tats, so I made a collages 🖼️

So I’ve got 14 tattoos not including the stick and pokes I did at 16 🙈 but if we’re counting the stick and pokes, then 17. If we’re counting the stick and pokes I never finished, then 18. There’s a weird little blue line on my hand because of that 💀

A lot of these are self explanatory, but some aren’t. That little guy is Joel Miller as an action figure 🥰 those two cats in the heart portrait are my little fur babies. That lady underneath them is Amy Winehouse which, fun fact, I’ve had that tattoo for three years and only realized a few weeks ago that her shoulder is fucked up! Amy had the horseshoe tattoo on her left shoulder, not her right! But I don’t mind. Next to her is a thieving cat. Guess my inspiration.

These last three are stick n pokes I did, apart from the last one done by my best friend at 16. So that’s a star on my wrist, then a heart (?) on my hip, last one is a stack of X’s on my side. Pardon the boob. And the bra marks.

12. Idea of a perfect date.

I make my very special homemade whirly pop popcorn and binge watch a show with my partner. Usually always sunny or sopranos lately. After that, we get high, then fuck, then snack, and fall asleep to YouTube 💕 I know, boring. I’m a total hermit. But sometimes we do antiquing dates or get tattoos together and I like those too!

28. Favorite ice cream?

Lately it’s been those strawberry ice cream bars. Mmm. Sometimes butter pecan, I had a delicious lemon poppy seed ice cream over the summer too!

62. Have you ever felt an earthquake?

No! I’m not near any major fault lines. The worst we get is severe snow and ice storms, sometimes tornadoes in the spring. I like to chase them in my Chevy HHR.

[lestatslestits]

Hey! I don't mean to be rude, but I was wondering what your take on the allegations against Neil Gaiman is? (Especially considering more women came out about their experiences recently, including on a less controversial podcast) You still post good omens stuff and I haven't seen you say anything about them...(at least upon searching his name, though the Tumblr search function IS broken) Tbh it's none of my business and I should probably just silently unfollow you but I wanted to hear what you think because it's hard not to assume things and I'd rather not. So like. Feel free to ignore this if you want

Hi, Anon

My take is fuck him. My take is that it sucks that the news was originally broken by journalists whose clear conservative ties obscured the conversation. To be clear, I believe the victims and, once more, fuck Gaiman. But the conservative tendency to associate trans people and the people who publicly support them with predatory behavior did impact the credibility of the journalists involved, which sucks. I think the situation becomes clearer as more allegations pop up, but the news cycle being what it is, some people are going to miss even seeing that update. The only reason I even know about them is because the conversation popped up on a horror literature subreddit I follow.

With all of that said, my relationship with Good Omens is my own. I’ve been a fan of the book for something like 12 years, and it’s a book with two authors, one of which is not alive to see these allegations or make a statement. It was a part of my journey to deconstructing my fundamentalist upbringing. It was a part of how I met my incredible partner. I myself am still unpacking my relationship with it in light of this news—kind of like I had to unpack my relationship with it when it had the fingerprints of the most toxic and emotionally damaging relationship I’ve ever been a part of all over it in my mind. If I come up with the perfect solution to having a complex relationship with media made by fucked up human beings I will publish my results and make a gazillion dollars. Until then, I’ll work it out as best I can on my own. As will you, as will everyone.

I could list out all of my triggers and traumas and day-to-day struggles to explain why I may or may not have commented at the time (look, I’ve slept since then, I don’t remember if I did or not). But I’m not gonna do that. I could explain that talking about it would have been triggering to me at the time (and, coincidentally, is potentially triggering to me now, but I’m addressing it anyways). I could point out that my queue is hundreds of posts long, that a lot (not all, but a lot) of the posts you’re seeing are queued, and I don’t have the time or energy to weed through everything I queued months and months ago back when it was a thousand posts long.

But ultimately I can’t actually stop you from making assumptions you’re going to make or not make, I can just speak to you honestly. Fuck Gaiman. Fuck Joss Whedon (whose Buffy series I’m a fan of). Fuck Anne Rice for a list of things that would be longer than your ask. Fuck people who use money, fame, or a position of power to hurt others. That’s my take.

For your own peace, anon, I recommend curating your space in a way that makes you feel comfortable. If that means unfollowing me or not, I wish you the best.

[o-wyrmlight]

A Toast to the Pigs, Chapter 12. Or--as I like to call it--'The Racism Episode'. As you could probably assume, this chapter deals heavily in racism and tackles two of Martinaise's three most hated racists in the game. It's about fucking time.

When she first left you, all those years ago, maybe you meant it. No, there's no 'maybe' to it—you did. Look how easy it was to blame the woman instead of the man—instead of yourself. Look how much easier it was for you to slip into denial and slander women and races in a drunken stupor to your fellow colleagues. Your words were infectious like poison, and they infected you. It's so much easier to be angry than it is to be insightful. Do you remember that night, Harry? Three years ago, hanging in a bar off the Esperance River. You looked at that child outside the window and you felt disgusted. But why were you disgusted?—The dark skin, the criminal jaw? This was a child. You used to teach children, you imbecile. You tore your eyes from the window to look at the man beside you. "Jean," you slurred, patting his back, "Jeanie, am I a bad person?" "Well, you aren't a good person." He knocked back a shot of vodka. You bit before you could think. "And you're an ugly motherfucker." He scoffed and shook his head. You just proved his point. You say things to hurt other people. You do it on purpose. Of course you're not a good person.

He squinted—assuming Harry was right… he could see the hypothetical path, yes. Jump the rail on the first landing onto the Frittte roof and climb up the window from there. It was definitely a much safer call than shimmying along the side of the balcony, that was for sure. The only obstacle would probably be the man on the landing.

“…You’re sure that’ll work?” he asked dubiously.

“I’m sure,” Harry said, his voice firm with conviction. Kim didn’t even need to look at him to know his hands were on his hips. “It feels right.”

“Welcome to Revachol.”

Harry and Kim turned toward the voice on their right in sync, bodies jolting. It came from the man circling the front of the lorry, coming to a stop several feet in front of them. A cigarette dangled carelessly between his fingers.

The first thing Kim noticed about him was the smugness in his smile—the crooked teeth and self-righteousness it seemed to carry. The second was that his eyes were focused solely on Kim.

Harry’s eyes traced the man’s gaze to Kim and back again. His shoulders squared, tensing as he seemed to reach the same conclusion.

“Don’t talk to my partner like that.”