#only shadow will get me to draw out of my comfort zone

[smilenetwork]

IDOL SHADOW🦇

[writingtraumaforever]

Uncontrolled Chaos: Chapter 16

Notes: Things are tensing up!

Summary: Sonic and Shadow finally get in touch with Tails.

Chapter Select!

Link to my AO3!

Start:

“Got any twos??”

“Mm.. go fish.”

“Damn.”

Shadow draws another card with a sigh, sitting in the floor while leaned back on one hand and holding his cards in the other. Sonic is sitting criss-crossed with his elbows on his knees and cheek rested in one hand while holding his cards in the other.

In other words: very bored.

“Got any sevens?”

“Fuck you, you’re cheating.”

“I’m not! How would I be cheating???”

“I don’t know. Some sort of weird chaos power I don’t know about??”

“…A chaos power that allows me to see game cards??”

“It would be baller at the Casino Zone.”

Shadow sighs and rolls his eyes at this, tossing his cards on the floor in front of him before pushing himself up to stand, “I need a drink.”

Sonic watches him before standing up as well to follow behind him, fully prepared to grab his guest a beverage only to find Shadow helping himself to the fridge.

Weird.

Shadow seems so comfortable in Tails’ place. Like he’s use to it or adjusted to it or something. 

Honestly, there’s a lot about this Shadow that’s odd to Sonic. But he doesn’t quite know how to bring any of it up without potentially making things awkward.

Ever since Shadow held Sonic’s hand in the hospital, Sonic hasn’t dared to push the matter. Though, he has his suspicions..

Like maybe this Shadow thinks of Sonic as a brother or something?? Like Tails.

Tails would totally hold Sonic’s hand in a stressful situation.

Bro things, ya’know??

Shadow pulls out a water bottle before turning back to Sonic as he opens it, “No contact from Miles yet??”

“Nope,” Sonic shakes his head, popping the ‘p’ with a shrug, “He’ll call soon, though, I’m sure.”

Shadow hums and drinks from his bottle, “So.. what exactly caused this need for everyone to up and go on their own self discovery adventures, anyway??”

“Oh! Well. It’s a long story,” Sonic says as his eyes drift away, not really wanting to rehash the whole Starfall Islands fiasco.

“We literally have nothing but time,” Shadow deadpans, “Unless you want to play another round of Go Fish? Or Uno??”

“Nah, I’m good,” Sonic insists with a little snort, “What if we went for a run instead??”

Shadow quirks a brow at how adamant Sonic seems to no want to talk about what happened with him and his friends, “…Rouge said not to leave because GUN likely was surveilling us.”

Sonic smirks at this, “Can’t surveil what’s too fast to see.”

Shadow huffs, crossing his arms, “I’m not potentially getting GUN involved anymore than they already are.”

Sonic tilts his head at this, looking at Shadow with a quirk of his brow before leaning against the nearby counter, “Why are you so scared of them??”

“I’m not scared,” Shadow answers with a little frown, looking down at his water bottle as he rubs his gloved thumb along the ridges of the cap, “I simply don’t wish to have to cross paths with them if I can help it.”

“Ya’know— Shadow works for GUN.”

“So I’ve gathered..,” Shadow mutters, taking another drink. 

“You don’t seem too thrilled about that.”

“Why would I be??” Shadow huffs, seeming to have been poked in the wrong place with how he snaps, “To think any version of myself would dare to work for that corrupted monstrosity of an organization after what they did?!—“

Shadow pauses upon seeing how Sonic’s ears fold back a bit at his raised voice, sighing and collecting himself before muttering, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just.. frustrating is all.”

Sonic just looks at Shadow a moment, brows knit a bit as he tries to think of something to say that won’t trigger the guy again.

“..I think— not to defend the guy, but… I think Shadow just wanted to protect the earth in the best way he knew how. And he thought GUN was a good place to start.”

“Why would that be the place to start??? They’re cruel and corrupt—“

“Hey. No arguments here on that,” Sonic snorts with a shrug, “I don’t really care for them much either..” he pauses a moment before adding, “Maybe ask Rouge?? She knows Shadow way better than I do. Maybe she could provide some insight.”

“It still blows my mind she knows another version of myself so well,” Shadow admits with a shrug, “I’ve barely even spoken to the bat back on my world. Let alone worked as her partner.”

Sonic snorts a bit, “You and her’s dynamic works shockingly well here in this world. Honestly, I was glad to see the two of them getting close..”

“How come?” Shadow asks, his ear twitching with curiosity.

“Well-.. I mean, I just.. it was nice seeing you, ya’know.. not alone..,” Sonic admits as he rubs the back of his neck, looking away a bit shy.

Shadow smiles a bit at this— something Sonic still hasn’t gotten use to— and takes another sip of his drink as he eyes the blue hedgehog a bit analytically..

“Didn’t realize you cared.”

“Yeah, well. I got a big heart,” Sonic plays off with a little grin, winking at Shadow and causing the black hedgehog to chuckle in response.

“That you do..”

Sonic just smiles a bit as he looks at Shadow only to jolt a bit when the sudden ringing of his communicator goes off from the living room.

“Ah shit— Tails!”

He dashes into the living room, picking up the communicator in seconds.

“Tails, buddy! Was startin’ to worry about ya!”

“Yeah, sorry,” the young fox smiles sheepishly on the screen, rubbing the back of his neck with a wrench in hand, “Got carried away making modifications on the Tornado and didn’t hear my beeper go off.”

“Hey, no sweat, pal! Just glad to see you’re alright,” Sonic winks, glancing up as Shadow slowly makes his way into the living room.

“Heh. Yeah,” Tails chuckles, concern growing in his eyes then, “By the way— are you alright?? Your message said it was an emergency..”

“Oh! Yeah, um… okay, you may wanna sit down for this.”

Tails blinks before slowly moving to sit down with an “ohhh boy. Okay, shoot.”

“Alright,” Sonic takes a deep breath before speed running through his explanation, “So Shadow apparently went on some top secret GUN mission the other day, and briefly went missing after an explosion only to be found knocked out a few miles away. They took him in and treated him, but when he woke up, he was all weird and stuff. But the real weird part was that all his scans showed he didn’t hit his head or anything, so Rouge suspected something else was going on. He refused to talk to anyone but me, so I got pulled in and he talked then. And boy did he have some crazy stuff to say. He acted like he didn’t know Rouge and held my hand—“

“He held your hand???”

“—Ya. That’s what I said. Anyway, Rouge mentioned his Chaos Energy was off the scales when they found him, so we kinda figure maybe something happened with that. Then Shadow explained he had used the fake chaos emerald to chaos control— oh, except he wasn’t on a mission for GUN, but was on a mission with us instead! So he used chaos control to save another me’s ass—“

“Woah woah woah..,” Tails interrupts, holding his hands up with a lost expression on his face, “You’re losing me, Sonic.. a mission with us?? I’ve been away, and—“

“No, no, no, there’s another us.”

Tails blinks at Sonic with a perplexed expression and Sonic just nods as if it makes total sense.

“…what??”

Shadow sighs, having heard enough of Sonic’s poor explanation and walking over to stand behind where the hero sits on the couch to be seen on screen.

Tails blinks at that, looking surprised, “Oh— um.. h-hi Shadow.”

“Hey Kid,” Shadow smirks slightly, “Sonic is absolutely atrocious at communication—“

“Hey!”

“—So let me just paraphrase the situation. I am not this world’s Shadow. I come from a different world where our timelines are slightly off. The running theory is that my use of the fake chaos emerald along with your world’s Shadow’s use of the fake chaos emerald somehow possibly switched us up. Or on a more morbid theory, your Shadow died in the explosion and the universe had to somehow mend this loss with another version of him. Either way— we’re pretty confused over here and could use your brain.”

Tails stares wide eyed with his mouth dropped open. Sonic can’t tell if it’s because of everything Shadow said or the fact Shadow said so much to him.

Sure as hell, Tails chuckles and, “I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard Shadow say. This world’s or not.”

“Right?!” Sonic laughs, “It’s weird, right???”

“Very,” Tails nods, though his smile fades a bit then, “But this is serious. If there’s alternate dimension jumping involved, there’s no telling what sort of damage this could do to space and time itself!”

“Like what??” Sonic frowns, Shadow leaning over him to listen too.

“Like— oh, gee.. um.. well lots of things, really! There’s endless possibilities with this sort of stuff! Gravity changes. Time jumps— Black holes that could swallow up entire worlds!“

Sonic and Shadow both swallow hard at the same time, not fully having realized how potentially diar their situation actually was.

“…Sweet!” Sonic says sarcastically, “We love world-swallowing holes.”

Shadow snorts a bit behind him and Sonic’s head snaps around to narrow his eyes at this Shadow’s immaturity. 

“Get it together, Shads,” Sonic chastises playfully and hypocritically.

He then returns his gaze to Tails on the screen, “Exactly how much time would we have before something like that happened??”

“Oh, there’s no telling,” Tails shrugs with a frown, “Again, this is space and time we’re talking about. Could be years. Could be seconds.”

Shadow’s hands clench a bit tighter on the back of the couch, Sonic’s own body tensing every second they talk about this.

“…Awesome.. so uh. You think you could—“

“Already typing the coordinates back home in,” Tails responds, Sonic breathing a small sigh of relief that his little brother is coming back home, “I should be there by morning!”

“Great!! Don’t exactly know where to even start without our team’s genius here to carry us,” Sonic boasts, trying to stay optimistic despite recent revelations.

Tails offers a sideways smile, moving to stand again, “Well this genius needs to get the Tornado tuned up and flying!”

“Right. Do that. We’ll be here waiting!”

“Alright, sounds like a plan. Bye, Sonic!”

“See ya, buddy!”

The connection is ended.

Sonic lets the communicator fall on his lap with a light thump, tilting his head back to look up at Shadow from his upside down angle. Shadow looks back down at him with a small frown.

They both sigh.

“Why must you always bring drama, Edgelord??”

[kali-chaotic-neutral]

Advice

Pick a cat and get some much needed advice

This will include:

~Advice you might need ~Something you have to hear ~Insight on something

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Take what you resonate with, leave what you don't.

Please do not hesitate to suggest a few PAC reading topics as I am struggling with these type of posts.

Cat 1:

I feel as though you may be in a sort of identity crisis. Maybe you're going through a time of major change, and it is causing some crisis of sorts. You're worldview has been shaken and you're brain chemistry has been altered dramatically. Additionally, this could be some drastic change in your spirituality or maybe you're leaving a religion for another or just leaving religion entirely and being hounded by your community for doing so. I know it's stressful, I know you're probably extremely critical of yourself, picking and panicking over every little mistake you make. I want you to take a deep breath and know that this isn't the end of the world. Take the energy you use to criticise yourself to maybe journal, do some shadow work or gratitude journalling. You don't have to write paragraphs after paragraphs. Even one bullet point can make a difference. Let out your thoughts on paper so you don't end up blowing up on someone. and regretting it. Let it out, clear your head and do some damage control before evaluating what steps you have to take to get yourself out of this pit.

Try to reconnect with your inner child, let that child within you have their moment. Do something simple and childish, colour a book, draw. Do something you've always wanted to do, surround yourself with people you love and your friends, let them help you. Trust that those who care about you have your back. Do not let this temporary setback make you lose sight of what you want. This stressful and dark time you are going through is coming to an end. The only reason this moment seems endless to you, is because it is YOU that is unintentionally dragging this moment. Maybe you're stretching on an argument, or clinging onto a grudge, or just simply holding onto bad habits. You are hurting yourself at this point, and there is no one else to blame but yourself. Accept this pain, let go of this grudge or actually try to stop repeating bad habits. And it's not easy. I have a smoking habit myself, but I am taking steps. I haven't smoked for a month now and it has taken too many failed attempts for me to get here. Do not prolong this situation, because when you fall it will hurt even more. Try stepping out of your comfort zone, baby steps is perfectly fine. For me, getting out of my comfort zone meant wearing more form fitting outfits. I started with crop tops and a jacket over, then moved onto just crop tops and jeans. Then only recently have I gotten the confidence to get out of the house in flared leggings. Very simple, yet so effective in telling you: "Hey, it's okay. See, You're fine. You look so beautiful when you're confidently wearing what you want.". Everyone's journey is different, take your time, but taking the steps is what matters.

Cat 2:

There is someone (or was someone) in your life that absolutely changed your life for the best, someone that was there for you in your hardest time. You might be feeling a bit guilty in the sense that they are always there for you, that whatever you give them (or want to give them) seems inadequate, or maybe this person is not in your life anymore and you feel guilt for not expressing your gratitude while they were there. The guilt is weighing you down, and might be leading to insecurities as well. Just know that even a simple acknowledgement and thanks is a gift, while not the most extravagant, it does hold meaning. Open your heart, let them know how grateful you are. And if you struggle with this, a small simple, meaningful gift will always send the message. A gift is a gift, it's the thought that matters. Let this person know, that you appreciate them for more than the comfort they bring you. And if they aren't in your life anymore and it feels like it's too late, it can be as simple as a journal entry addressed to this person. Pour out your heart and write the letter as though you would send it to them if they were present. Or maybe you went through a rocky split up (romantic, platonic) and you want to reach out but you're unsure whether or not you should. Give it a shot. If the other person doesn't respond or responds very harshly, let it go. At least you tried. Or maybe things just fell apart. Me and a few of my high school friends went to different colleges and just stopped chatting with each other. And even now, it's so awkward to try and chat with them, but also so awkward to unfollow them.

Take some time off if you can, maybe during a special occasion. If you're celebrating something with this person, let it be more intimate. Maybe with close friends/family or even just you and this person. Make time for this person, like they do for you. Or maybe it's a day that reminds you of them, honour them by doing something they enjoyed. One thing my grandmother enjoyed doing when she was alive was travelling to sacred, religious places where I live. Every year, my family and I go to these places, pray for her and have fun because she would have wanted that for us. If you've had a split up with this person with so many unsaid things, reach out. Get your closure, clear the air of misunderstandings if there are. If it's with someone you've gradually lost touch with and the awkwardness has stopped you from reaching out. Don't. Reply to their story, send them messages or posts online. let them know that you want to rekindle the friendship. Let them know, that you are also wanting to have this relationship (platonic, romantic). I've said to try and rekindle the relationships/reach out so many times and here I am saying it again: MEND THE RELATIONSHIP!!! BUILD BACK THE FUCKING BRIDGE! Forgive them, but also most importantly, forgive YOURSELF!! It's normal being hard on yourself. This however, what you're saying/doing to yourself is not it bbg. You need love right now, sweet summer child, not criticism. Put your inner critic on the back seat, let your inner healer take control. Do some self care. Face masks, spa, massage, manicure/pedicure. Take care of yourself.

Cat 3:

You're in a crisis. You have conflicting emotions that are fluctuating so fast it's giving you whiplash. Maybe you're facing a choice where you have to leave what you have known. Maybe you're home for further studies or maybe you're planning on moving homes or cutting off contact with family or friends you've known for a long time. It's difficult, because you are potentially leaving what you've always known, what your comfortable with/or people who you've known for a long time. There will always be people who will not support your decision, especially if you're cutting off contact with close family members or friends who you used to always be with. This crisis/conflicting emotions are more so due to you not wanting to deal with criticism from people you've grown up with and less to do with whether you want to do it or not. Because you do. You know it is what you want, but the potential of people's reaction is what's stopping you. If you always walk on eggshells when making decisions, to appease the people around you, you won't make it far. Stop caring about the opinion of people who don't have your best interests at heart.

Maybe what you are pursuing (If it is further studies/a job) is something that you've always wanted to pursue but have been discouraged to do so because it: "Won't put a roof over your hear head and feed you". A creative job/study. Art, music, dance, literally anything that requires creativity. Don't let these people have you give up on your dreams and instead have you slave away at a stressful office job/"prestigious" job. Don't be afraid to splurge on yourself once in a while. Treat yourself to a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant, or buy yourself something you've always wanted. Or even simpler, take a self care day. Take your time bathing, put on a face mask, dress yourself up (even if it is just to go get groceries) If you want to see change, you must initiate it. Don't be a sheep that follows people around mindlessly, take control/the reins if you have to. Assert yourself. Let your opinions stand out, true and strong.

Cat 4:

You're stretching out something tense, maybe an argument, maybe something that really angered you. And i'm not saying that you're anger is not justified. It is, what's not justified is how you're dragging this out. Blowing this situation out of proportion, making a mountain out a molehill. You are getting on the defensive, feeling the strong urge to prove that you are correct or that you didn't do something (or perhaps did) But at this point you're arguing at the wall honey. Know when to stop your battles, get yourself in check before the universe slaps you in the face. The other party has already dropped out, not wanting to spend their time arguing an age old issue. Come to terms with what happened, and try to calmly speak your mind. If you can't, journal it. let it go.

This conflict has you shaken and feeling unsure. What I'm getting is to make sure you're not biased, make sure to listen to the other person's side as well. Just listen and make your decision then. Because if you make a decision right now, it will only be more chaotic. Don't make a decision yet, wait, give yourself some space to clear your head because you're mind is not in the right space to make important decisions right now. Maybe this conflict is between you and a friend or a sibling/family member. I'm feeling that this conflict could be solved if you were to communicate, but there is such a clear lack of it that I am quite speechless. Talk things out, calmly and clearly, let them know how they hurt you and let them apologize/talk as well. Forgive if you can. Enforce boundaries with this person, maybe they overstepped despite your warnings and it was what caused this conflict. Remember, forgiving is good but it's not necessary to heal. If this person has been constantly overstepping your boundaries, firmly set them and cut off contact if you must. Or just be very firm and strict with your boundaries, you might have a habit of caving in to this person walking all over you. Not anymore.

[corybiit]

“Do I have a mother?” Vander froze on his side of the counter, pausing the train of thought about finances and all the errands he needed to get done around the pub for next week. Viktor to his credit didn’t even look up from his drawing.

It was something about cogs and mechanisms, and, if he looked close enough, he could probably see numbers and notes around the drawing, something Vander honestly didn’t know much about, but Benzo seemed to enjoy his child’s endless curiosity and so he often gave him scraps here and there. It was endearing, Vander didn’t know where he got the brains for science though, as much as Silco and he were revolutionaries, Vander didn’t know much about mechanisms or science, and Silco was more attuned to linguistics and philosophy than anything else, curious in other ways.

When he took too long to answer, his son stopped, put down his pencil, and looked up at him with those golden-like eyes that Vander knew were closer to his than Silco’s green ones. “I know a lot of people have different parents, but Nire did say there needs to be at least two to make a baby, and you’re just one.”

Vander stood frozen under his child's gaze. Of course-he thought- kids talk, they listen, they see. “You have a father,” Vander answered, still choked up about the whole topic; completely taken out of his comfort zone. Silco’s shadow over Viktor’s shoulder gave him an unimpressed look. “I know that you’re my dad,” Viktor said as if he needed to explain that to him. Vander almost smiled, if only he weren't feeling so nauseous.

“No, I—aside from me... you have another dad.” And maybe he shouldn’t tell him. Viktor was small, way too small to explain to him that it hadn’t been planned, that Silco had simply disappeared one day, and then months later, Viktor had been left outside the Last Drop, nothing but a note with his name, nothing else.

Children should be loved, Vander knew it, he had done everything to give Viktor all the things he might need in life, but of course, a child as smart as his son would notice something was missing.

Viktor blinked as if assimilating his words, then he nodded, solemn for a child of six. It would have made Vander chuckle if he didn’t feel so hollowed out by the topic. “Okay.” He said then looked down at his drawing, then back up again. “Can I go to my room?” Vander nodded, feeling outside of his body still. He watched as his son climbed down the stool, metal brace thudding on the wood floor heavily. Cane in one hand and drawing in the other.

“Viktor,” He called before his child could scurry away completely. Viktor looked back, golden eyes shinning. “you know I love you, right?” he asked, trying to reassure someone, although he didn’t know if it was his son or himself. Viktor gave him a look. Like Vander was telling him the sky was blue or that the river was too far away.

“I know dad, I love you too,” Viktor answered, unmoored about his question or the answer. He didn’t even ask for a name, Vander realized, and he hadn��t given him one, but Viktor was gone before he could muster the courage to speak it.

He sighed heavily, feeling way older than he was. Looking at Silco’s unoccupied space. Wondering if maybe, he ever thought about them wherever it was that he was.

[anixdraws]

Since I forgot to share this like a moron, I’ll recap my contributions. I worked on the Rowdy Runway: A TWEWY Fashion Zine as the artist who not only did the cover art (seen above) but also I did three different artworks.

The first artwork I did was for my hubby Higashizawa, repping the now defunct Sheep Heavenly (replaced with Top’ o Topo in NEO for garishly cute and saturated clothing). Each item worn by Higgy here is a piece of Sheep Heavenly clothing interpreted by me staring way too hard at the pixel clothing sprites. This one was so fun to color and I get to draw muscular men in bright cute colors??? Like hell yes!

(Also yes I had to make that Sheep Heavenly logo myself)

The second artwork I made for the zine is one of Susukichi rocking the monocrow drip! This piece was a traditional art piece I colored digitally to fit the zine. I’ve included the lineart version so you can see how much pain and suffering I mean detail I put into this one. I went with MonoCrow as a way to push myself out of my comfort zone and focus less on rendering and shading, using simple cel shading and heavy shadows to make Susy K look cool~! In the end this one turned out to be my favorite traditional art pieces.

This last one was a collab between me and a writer friend who goes by Stinkfly03 on twitter/X. They made a fic about Beat truely seeing himself as more then a Neku copycat and he cuts his hair to match his younger self. I went fully into my comfort zone with this one by relying on rendering and lighting. In this story, Beat’s physical appearance is thinner and a lot more Neku like which (I hope) I conveyed well. The fic is called “Reflecting Neku” by PetildaFan on A03 (Archive of Our Own)! Pls go check it out. It’s a super interesting character introspection on Beat that is worth the read!

Interested in the art I do? You can check out my other works or support me by checking out my linktree.

[jonathan-samuel-smith]

BoSS Dami is like the same character but rather than serious and grumpy they play up his arrogance into him being boastful and cocky and I love it. He's having so much fun in the film, he loves fighting. He's bloodthirsty in a way that makes the audience happy for him which is pretty funny. I love the way they animate his facial expressions it's so good, and I love his voice. It's a little bit serious and broody while still being arrogant and youthful it's great. Jon sounds a little too old to be ten but I like his voice other than that. I love how Jon thinks he's cool and how quickly they bond despite clashing early on. And they're so cute. So. Cute.

The colorism thing is a big problem and it's par the course for Damian, when given the full range of color options for a character of his heritage they will always choose the lightest unless they're actively fighting their subconscious racism and colorism.

I went off on a rant on DC colorists colorism under the cut this post really got away from me, but READ THIS IF YOU DRAW DAMIAN!!↓

I get that you draw what you see and if you see a lot of white and lightskinned people you end up getting good at only drawing white people, and light skin has been purposely highlighted in visual media for centuries in this country, but USE GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH GOD DAMNIT, FOLLOW POC ON SOCIAL MEDIA, HIRE POC. Go out of your damn way to learn this shit. If you can't do it good now, learn!

I went through this with homestuck, all the human characters have #00000 skin so you're free to have whatever race headcanons you want of them, but that's not actually representation. I was influenced by this style because coloring skin is hard so I just shaded it with my pencil and left it uncolored but then I realized by refusing to color the melanin in someone's skin, that's colorism. Fuck that. So I decided to learn, and mess up a lot of otherwise pretty works, because it would be worth it in the end. I'm still learning but I've learned so much already.

For example a lot of colorist societies draw pale skin far too desaturated. If you compare actual skin to the skin in anime, nearly all Asians that aren't photoshopped or wearing make up/bleaching look so much darker. Bleached paper being what we draw on and light skin being the presumed default in our culture has made white people (and others) way too comfortable doing the bare minimum in coloring skin. You don't still use the yellow crayon for blonde hair so why do you still use the very light peach/tan as the default skin tone? You're not even coloring light skin right let alone approaching properly drawing dark skin right.

I'm so fucking tired of every company doing this when I learned how to do better in middle school. Get out of your fucking comfort zone and draw diversely, or you're a coward and you're not doing anything to combat your culturally inherited racism.

Most DC artists are good at drawing 1 or 2 skin tones, maybe 3. There are so many more undertones and shades than that. I'm not counting rainbow colors. If you want Damian to be paler than his mother to reflect his mixed heritage that's totally fine! But it should be darker than Bruce's and Jon's. I've compared them and paid attention to the shadows being cast and he's really not darker than Jon and only rarely darker than Bruce because they drew Bruce especially pale.

I want you to understand that removing melanin from a character is erasure of their identity and actively harmful. There's a broad range of skin tones that the son of Talia and Bruce might have but choosing the lightest possible option is favoring white skin over dark skin, not realism. Just because you've seen more light skinned mixed kids doesn't mean there aren't darker skinned ones. The light skinned ones get more attention on social media and commercially because of social bias + algorithms + intentional racism. Most people who are colorist think that they're not racist because they're representing nonwhite people not bothering to notice that the people they represent have the most european features and light skin in their group. Yes those people are oppressed too but you're not fixing anything by only showing racially ambiguous people.

Mariner on star trek is a relevant example from animation. Both her parents have dark skin but she has much lighter skin because she's a main character. Stop it. Stop it. Don't think just because you see something highlighted a lot that it's the most common thing that's so dumb. How many mixed people do you think you see that you assume aren't mixed? There's confirmation bias at play.

I just wish I could beam this message into everyone's thick fucking skulls. Dark skin is beautiful. My number one coloring tip for any artist is this: don't be afraid to go too dark. You'll ruin the contrast and legibility and dynamic if you keep everything light and mid tones.

If you go too dark, you can filter it later.

I hate the argument "there are plenty of mixed people who dadadadada" stop. there are such a variety of people in numbers you literally cannot fathom with your human brain. You cannot picture all of the people that look exactly like whatever it is you're saying is more uncommon. Race is made the fuck up but its impact and cultural significance is real as hell. Genetics are so fucking diverse. I know a biologically related pair of siblings, one super tall dark skinned black dude and one super short freckled white girl, they have the same parents you cannot tell that they are related if you're thinking that mixed race children are like taking the skin tones and mixing them like paint.

Colorism is physically dangerous. People will assume that a mixed race child is being kidnapped by their parent because they so look different to them.

Damian could look the spitting image of Talia, I can tell you that with 100% certainty. He also could look the spitting image of Bruce, or Thomas Wayne, or Martha, or Ra's. All we know is that he's Arab, Chinese and white, he has black hair and green eyes, and he's short and good looking. Taking that and making the most european looking version of that guy as possible is fucking racist. I'm so serious.

If you want to do your part to combat racism and make a society where everyone can get attention and be seen as beautiful regardless of skin tone, then draw Damian with dark skin.

If you don't want to do that.... I don't understand you. Learn empathy, it will be useful to you.

[drunkewok]

Tiger Inside Chapter One

Stray Kids Mafia (Ongoing)

Masterlist

Likes, reblogs and feedback always greatly appreciated

WC: 2.6k

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Genre: Series, Enemies to lovers, non-idol AU, Mafia AU

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, drinking, swearing, violence, weapons

Please do not copy or repost my work

Remember when we were kids and the teacher would instruct us to draw whatever we wanted to be when we grew up? Boy, were all of mine wrong.

Instead of being the doctor,

the firefighter,

the astronaut,

the vet,

I’m traversing a crowded upscale lounge, delivering drinks to plastered patrons clad in designer suits as they discuss their next business merger. Something I wouldn’t highly suggest digesting beside a bottle of drained soju, but who am I to decide that.

Rather, my drawings should have been that of a scandalously dressed cocktail waitress, the click of heels echoing off of stained mahogany, eyes shallow in the shadows from nights of little sleep, and the forced smile in lieu of a groan at another poor excuse of a drunken pickup line.

My body sat propped up by my elbows on the cold surface of the bar, my eyes pointed, but unfocused, on the bottles of liquor adorning the shelf. The music and voices behind me failed to make it past my ears, a simple white noise drowned out by the mindless black screen that sat behind my eyes.

“Earth to Siu, any lights on in there?” I blinked sharply as my attention is pulled to the gentleman standing across the bar with snapping fingers, a tray littered with expertly assembled drinks placed in front of me.

“Shit, thank you” Quickly snapped back to my reality, I slipped the tray forward onto my hand and raised it to my shoulder, before finally looking up to the bartender’s eyes watching me, carefully painted with worry. “I’m good Seongho, just zoned out for a second.” I flashed him my best attempt of a smile before retreating back into the sea of patrons.

Blossom sat tucked away in a back alley, door unlisted, in the dark corners of the Gangnam Business District. Those in attendance only knowing of the location by word of mouth. It made for a simpler atmosphere in terms of customer service. Our patrons were always regulars, creating a social environment, and causing loose lips of the inebriated businessmen made far too comfortable sharing details of their personal lives beyond the front door of the establishment.

This made it that much more surprising when a glance to the door let me observe two unfamiliar faces strolling in and making their way to a booth in the back corner, much younger than the usual, older crowd. My gaze follows the two across the room, once distinctly taller than the other and both in expertly tailored suits. The tray perched upon my hand is now tucked under my arm after placement of the last drink, making my way towards the newcomers now settled in their booth. In my approach I can notice they haven’t spoken to each other at all since sitting, instead they sat silently observing those around them. A tension sat in the air as I neared their table, an uneasy feeling quickly settling into my stomach as I leaned against the end of their booth, giving my best go at a genuine smile in an attempt to slice the thick air as I spoke.

“Been a while since we’ve seen some new faces here, welcome to Blossom.” My eyes flicked between the two, trying to give them a grin, the feeling in my stomach starting to make permanent residence “My name is Siu, what can I get you two to drink tonight?” The moment Siu left my lips the two exchanged a glance before the taller of the two grabs my attention with a clearing of the throat. His hair is a crisp blonde, perfectly swept back with what looked to be enough hairspray to commit arson at just the thought of a spark. His eyes avoid mine, still glued to the peer in front of him. The second male had equally bleached hair, although shorter and much more tousled than the first’s. His cheeks were peppered with freckles, a bit of boyish charm to his appearance. I held my arms across the tray pressed to my stomach, finding at least some solace in closing in my body language just slightly through the tension.

“Two whiskeys, neat.” The first’s voice was sharp, quick and to the point. I pursed my lips with a subtle nod, clearly they weren’t going to be the talking type.

“Alrighty then, I’ll be back shortly with those.” Tucking the tray back under my arm, I settled firmly back on both feet before turning my way back towards the bar.

“Could I possibly get a water with that too? Please and thank you!” The second’s voice caught me off guard, much deeper than I initially would have expected coming from that face, especially paired with the grin that quickly adorned his cheeks. At least one of them seemed friendly. With a smile and a nod I turned back on my heels. “You don’t have to be so cold to her, Hyung.” ever so quietly I could hear him mutter to the first as I walked away. I let a quiet giggle leave my lips, go figure the younger was the more polite one, but even taking to scolding his older was going to be entertaining to me.

“New blood?” Seongho nodded to the two in the corner before glancing back to me with a raised brow.

“Yeah, interesting characters for sure. Not the usual crowd.” I set the tray to the counter, glancing back over my shoulder and catching the eye of the older of the two burning into my skin. I quickly swiveled back to Seongho, with wide eyes. “Alrighty then, we got a watcher, add that to the list.” Our exchanged laughter at the two muffled by the start of a new vocals from the stage where the live artist settled in front of the mic with a fresh trot song. “They want two whiskeys, neat. Oh, and a water too” Seongho made haste pulling a bottle from the shelf behind him, filling two rocks glasses and placing them onto the tray with a grin and a wink.

“Good luck out there, don’t let ‘em eat you alive.” He quickly added a water bottle before shooing me off into the crowd once more, the rest of the night falling into the same monotonous pattern as always.

The two started to frequent the lounge every night, and each night turned into weeks, then quickly months. Slowly but surely I was able to chip away at the icy exterior of the older. He finally began to speak to me in full sentences, and dare I say I’ve gotten some laughter out of him on a couple occasions. I definitely spent more time focusing on him, determined to get him out of his hard shell. Eventually they shared their names, finally getting to put Hyunjin and Felix to their faces. Without fail they always showed up in their crisp suits, never a thread out of place and ties never loosened, their order always two whiskey neats and a water for Felix. Seongho insisted that they never showed up when I wasn’t working, but I kept assuring him that they were probably just sneaking in under the radar as usual and being assisted back in the corner unnoticed.

The night already wasn’t playing out smoothly for me, missing my bus adding time to my already long commute and surely setting me up for a late clock in. I made my way quickly out to the floor, finding Seongho behind the bar as I let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m so glad you’re working tonight, everything has been going wrong and it’s nice to see your face here.” I began to grab a tray and prepare it in front of me as Seongho immediately set two whiskeys and a water onto it.

“Your boys are already here, been waiting for you in the usual booth.” I glanced over my shoulder to see Felix sitting facing the bar, the spot usually occupied by Hyunjin, as he gave me a small wave and soft smile. I turned back to Seongho, with a sigh. “Yeongja tried greeting them and asking their order, but they just told her they’ll happily wait for you to get here.” With a groan I started to lift the tray onto my hand.

“So I’m the only one allowed to serve them? They’re choosing favorites now?”

“Siu, you’re always the only one serving them.” Seongho leaned against his hands on the bar and glanced back to the booth. “This is just the first time they explicitly mentioned you. Maybe one of ‘em has a little crush you never know.” He quickly clapped his hands together with a mischievous grin. “Oh my god, maybe you can finally get a date.” I swear my eyes rolled back so fast that if they had any more force behind it they would’ve popped directly out of my skull.

“You’re very funny, Seongho.” Balancing the tray upon my hand I maneuvered through the crowd to the back corner where Hyunjin and Felix sat, in a tense silence just like the first day they came. Setting the glasses down, I grinned at the two.

“My apologies for my late arrival tonight, one of our other waitresses would have been glad to serve you so you two weren’t waiting on me” My smile wasn’t reciprocated from either of the boys, that original unsettling feeling back in my stomach. This felt like a weird case of deja vu.

“You had us worried there for a second.” Hyunjin took a sip from his glass, staring forward at the table, his cold demeanor clearly back. “We thought you weren’t going to show tonight.”

“Oh no I’ll always be here, just ran into some hiccups that made me a bit late.” My forced smile was surely becoming more evidently fake as I tried to keep the conversation going. Even Felix has a bit of chill to him tonight, the two exchanged a glance before Felix finally looks up to me with a strained smile.

“Well don’t let us keep you, we know you’re probably behind schedule now and have a lot on your plate.” With a smile and slight bow I thanked the younger before continuing to make my rounds around the floor, a full house of patrons making use of their Friday night.

Thankfully the night seemed to progress fast and smoothly, at least my shift was going on without a hitch. Although I realized time had escaped me and I hadn’t had the chance to check in with Hyunjin and Felix for a while, but as I glanced over to their booth I found it empty. A twinge of disappointment settled in my chest at not being able to bid them goodbye, but I knew they’d be back during my next shift and I could once again apologize to them for letting time get the best of me.

Seongho and I slipped our coats on, the night finally coming to an end. He flicked the lights off behind us as we exited into the late night air before turning around and securely locking the door behind us and making our way down the alley to the main street.

“Are you in tomorrow?” Seongho’s voice finally broke the silence as we reached the sidewalk before parting ways.

“No, thankfully I can rest tomorrow, I’m exhausted.” I stretched my arms back, feeling the pull in my muscles before glancing back to Seongho. “Get home safe, alright?”

“You too, Siu. Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe.” Seongho patted my arm before making his way up the street as I turned the opposite way and started my own trek home.

I’ll be first to say that I know walking home at such an hour alone is never my best choice, but it had a calming nature to it within the empty streets. Only the occasional passing car and very few other pedestrians littering the streets. It provided me with the much needed calm down period after my shifts, and I wouldn’t trade those walks for the world.

Yet tonight proved itself different, a looming anxiety was firm in my bones that my walk wasn’t as lonely as usual, but could never pinpoint the reasoning for the feeling. No one was in sight, and each time I turned around to check, no one was behind me. I contemplated trying to catch a bus for the remainder of my commute, but instead of feeling like a sitting duck at a bus station I opted for adding a bit of pep to my step and speeding up my steps.

A wave of relief washed over me as I finally reached the doors of my apartment building, slipping in as fast as I could and ensuring the door was firmly shut behind me before making my way towards the elevators. The building was quiet as ever at these hours, not a voice or peep to be heard. There was nothing I was looking forward to more than removing my makeup and crawling into bed under my warm covers and allowing myself to drift into slumber. A warm shower was in the plan as well, my muscles felt stiff and needed some form of relaxation.

Finally settled into pajamas, wet hair, and tea in hand I slipped under the blankets, immediate comfort taking over me as the hot liquid made its way through my chest like the roots of a tree. I flicked on the tv, searching for a documentary to put on for a quiet lull of a voice to assist in my sleep before settling my head onto the pillow and letting my eyelids grow heavy.

The morning sun was the first thing to wake me up, the absence of a screaming alarm giving some comfort to my warm morning. Sitting up, I attempted to blink the sleep away from my eyes, the morning fog starting to clear from my head with a yawn.

My slippers dragged across the floor as I shuffled into the kitchen, in dire need of a cup of morning coffee. After prepping the coffee maker, I leaned against the counter and crossed my robe tighter across my body in an attempt to hold in any warmth before the heater could finally kick on and warm the apartment.

The ding of a complete coffee cycle alerted me to my prepared drink. Sipping from my mug, I leaned against the counter again, waiting for the caffeine to make its way into my veins. I scanned the apartment from my spot, making a mental note of my to-do list needing to be completed throughout my day. My eyes fell on my front door next, more specifically a white envelope on the floor sitting in front of it.

“What the fuck…” I set down my mug and made my way towards it. Surely this wasn’t there when I got home last night, I would have noticed it when I took my shoes off. Its positioning looking like it had been slipped under my door in the night. Bending down to pick it up, I slowly broke the seal of it and began to unfold the paper sitting inside, the name on the sheet quickly making my stomach drop and all source of breath leave my body.

Y/n.

We need to have a talk.

East bank of the Tancheon bridge, 9pm.

- Felix.

Next Chapter

[docholligay]

Foreign Films to Expand Into

I saw a post regarding the writer’s strike that suggested Americans maybe make the effort of watching a foreign film, and while I agree, I didn’t think its tone was super helpful. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the queen of “Pull yourself out of a rut!!” but I don’t think “Americans are so fucking stupid they don’t realize other countries make movies” is actually trying to help anyone, so much as add to the idea that I guess the rest of the world is being forced to watch Captain America at gunpoint. 

But I DO want Americans to watch foreign films, in the same way that I want them to watch indie films, and I want people of all nations and stripes to expand their understanding of what they’re used to, to push themselves into something else they might like. I think my family would say that it’s fair to call me a person who is open to experience. I love to try things! That’s why I have the book draw, that’s why I go see movies I’m not sure about, that’s why I actively seek out foods I’ve never tried. You deserve to make your life interesting, to be challenged, to provide enrichment in your enclosure. You are worth the effort of a richly textured life! And movies are often a pretty cheap way to go about stepping outside of your comfort zone. I can’t wait to hear what you thought of any of these! 

Obviously, if you are not American, one  of these may not be foreign to you. Yes, I know that. 

I don’t hold out that all of these are hidden gems--some of them are, or were, extremely popular movies. Many of them won awards. But I do hold out that these are some of my favorites, and I would love to share them with you. I did, however, try to avoid anything that I thought already got a lot of play on tumblr: I don’t need to tell anyone here to watch Parasite, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, or any given Ghibili movie (Though you should watch Grave of the Fireflies--it’s my favorite). 

Pan’s Labyrinth (Mexico and Spain): This is my favorite foreign film of all time and I am breaking my, “I’m not putting any movie on here I don’t need to tell you to watch” rule right away because it is in fact one of my favorite movies of all time, American or foreign. It is a lush story about fantasy, facism, courage, and the horror of childhood. Warning: This movie is very very intense. Do not be fooled by the fact that Del Toro also does like fucking…Hellboy. He also can make very serious, very good movies, and he does not shy away from the brutality of the Spanish Civil War. If you liked Labyrinth but you’re fully grown now and I want a story about fantasy bargains for the adult crowd, this is for you. 

The Orphanage (Spain): I love Spanish horror, and so it was really, really difficult to only pick one. But this has been one of my favorites for years, a classic Spanish slow burn that deals with the long shadow of childhood and the line between the supernatural and the natural. If you like pensive horror movies like The VVitch, I really think you should give this one a try. 

Hero (China): I know a lot of y’all are into wuxia now, but back when this came out it wasn’t a thing I had ever heard of*. Hero is, as the title might imply, a sweeping historical epic with fantastic fight scenes and gorgeous cinematography. If you enjoy stories told in multiple interpretations, high-flying wire work, and with some ideas about war, peace, and truth that tempt without asking too much of you, you’ll love this. 

Cold War (Poland): Listen, I love Cuarón, Mexican and Spanish movies absolutely dominate my list of foreign films I’ve watched, but I genuinely thought Cold War deserved the edge over Roma for the Oscar that year. It’s a fairly short movie for the times, coming in at less than 90 minutes, and it wastes not even one second of that film time. Cold War is a bittersweet love story not only with two people toward each other, but feels deeply critical of Poland while recognizing the impossibility of unbraiding yourself from it. If you love impossible, bittersweet, happily never after love stories with stark and striking cinematography, you’ll adore Cold War. 

Tigers Are Not Afraid (Mexico): I adore an unflinching take on childhood, and this movie is absolutely that. It essentially asks, “How do children survive in a world full of trauma?” and the answer is that sometimes, they don’t. This movie is a little frenetic, admittedly, but the ways fantasy and imagination is woven into a group of street children orphaned by the cartels is something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since I first saw it, and I think the final shot is pitch perfect. If you liked Pan’s Labyrinth this is required viewing, as I think it shares a lot of themes. 

The African Doctor (France): “Holligay, if you put another fucking downer movie in this list I am going to BEAT YOUR ASS” Okay, okay, we’re going to ignore my general predilections and everything from here on down is fairly life-affirming or comedic or easy. This is about a little village in France in the 1970s that gets an African doctor. It’s sweet, and funny, and you come away from it feeling good. Also I still laugh every time Seyolo responds to the fact that most of the villagers had never seen a black person with: “So what? Now they will.” If you like sweet fish out of water stories with nice endings, this is for you. 

Om Shanti Om (India): I maintain that this is the best movie to watch if you’re brand new to Bollywood. It mostly avoid the worst of its excesses while delighting in all of its strengths. It is a genuinely fun film with fantastic songs, and a shockingly together storyline for a Bollywood movie (affectionate). I’ve actually done a full review of this one, but in the short version: If you loved Moulin Rouge and wanted more of that mix of tragedy and silliness on a operatic level, I think you’ll be in for a treat. 

The Warrior’s Way (South Korea and New Zealand): Okay, this movie is not good, and also it manages to be bad. But it’s in English, so if you’ve been sitting there like my dad going, ‘I am not gonna read a movie” well, here you go. If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I want to watch a Western, but I wish it were actually a HK style cheesy action movie” BOY HOWDY AM I HERE FOR YOU. I watched this one insanely drunk and still managed to be like, “wow! This is so bad! Maximum valid!” If you thought RRR** was good, but too deep, you will have the BEST time with The Warrior’s Way. 

Anyway, this is, of course, an incomplete list, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten something I love, since this was just made off the cuff. I would love to hear if you watch or like any of these, and also, if, looking at this list, you have a recommendation for me, let me know! There are so so many fucking movies out there, and so many fall through the cracks. 

I’m thinking about doing another one of these on “Indie movies you might have missed” and also “Movies that were made before you enfants were born” (30+ years) so let me know if anything like that is interesting! Or, if there’s a category you think I might know about you’re into, let me know also.

*I actually have a lot of emotional attachment to Hero, as I have a very distinct memory of standing in the Hastings, in front of the small foreign-film section, and it being the first foreign film I picked up. I was, I think, sixteen, and I had decided that I was going to be worldly, and interesting, and cultured, and so I took a deep dive into cooking from other cultures, and watching foreign films, and buying old art history textbooks, reading classics, and listening to opera, and formal manners. Basically becoming the person I wished I were, that poised Grace Kelly type, even if I was born to the drone of the grasshoppers on the wind. To quote Reba Macintire, “You know I mighta been born just plain white trash, but Fancy was my name” and all that. And this movie was a distinct part of that, in that it was the first, in a long line of me trying to be a more well-rounded and interesting person. 

**RRR (India): Actually on that note, watch RRR. It’s a fantastically fun Indian action film that I keep meaning to watch again because I got a little too drunk for drinking on an emopty stomach the first time I saw it, so it might actually also be good, but I do remember enjoying the shit out of it and there is a scene that has such Fareeha vibes to me.

[princessmacedon]

{ happy anniversary!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together. Template courtesy of Neffi! 💕

Name: Red, more commonly nicknamed Reddo

Pronouns: they/them preferred, she/he OK!

Birthday (no year): December 28th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? moved to kentucky when I was young, and for sake of ease i use EST (TOAST)! i live near a timezone line, so i get to be flexible like that >vo)v HAHA

How long is your roleplay experience? with a few on and off breaks, roughly 15 years? i forgot about a period of my life where i 'moderated' (read: was the most active user on) a warrior cats RP site; my first foray into rp proper was in pokemon rp on tumblr, my first muse was lyra but i didnt have an internet name until i picked up and settled into writing (you'll never guess who)

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? kind of half answered this above oops, but with warrior cats i genuinely dont remember? i probably just googled warrior cats and wound up there HAHA. for pokemon...... honestly probably the same thing

How were you introduced to TOA? key had mentioned it to me in passing a few times, so i knew she was there, but it wasn't until my friend zyra mentioned it to me and suggested we write macedon siblings together again that i actually joined, hahaha

Do you have any pets? i do! i adopted a ?? year old dog from the shelter about six years ago, so now he's x+6 years old :] pretty sure he's some kind of border collie mix, but not certain! his name is tobin, but he'll answer as long as you say 'ob'. he's a sillyhead

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) it used to be winter because i love the snow! but as i get older and more harrowed by weather conditions, i appreciate how normal and not-trying-to-kill-me autum is HAHA

What is your IRL occupation? (finger guns) figuring it out

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? drawing was my first love! i like reading, especially comics, and writing; i like video games and immersing myself in stories, and have passing interests in things that i don't commit to trying out (like resin, charms, etc etc)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? FFXIV, mainly; genshin impact and hsr; various farming-ish sims (story of seasons + old harvest moon, stardew valley, rune factory, currently fields of mistria); to a lesser extent dragon age, ace attorney, various VNs / otome / rhythm games, pokemon until roughly scarlet/violet era and then my wallet couldnt keep up with it HSDFSGVSD

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: as a kid it waffled between fire / dark, but not sure i have a dead set favorite type anymore. favorite pokemon still lucario and appletun for sure though!

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! (Optional bonus challenge: if you filled this out last year, try not to repeat what you said back then!) - i love christmas and thinking about gift giving! when i was in school my christmas spreadsheet hit like, 50 names HAHA nooooo way do i have that energy anymore, though - i'm reasonably fond of baking and also reasonably terrible at it! something always goes wrong but usually (usually) stuff comes out pretty tasty in the end. except for that time i set my oven on fire

How did you get into Fire Emblem? my friends were talking about how much fun they were having with the new game at the time, awakening! it looked fun so i decided to try it out

What Fire Emblem games have you played? - Beaten: Genealogy, Blazing Blade (FE7 if youre like me and still cant remember which one is which), Shadow Dragon & New Mystery, Awakening, Fates (Conquest + Birthright), Three Houses (Blue Lions) - Started: Binding Blade (FE6), Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance (FE9), Fates (Revelation), Shadows of Valentia, Three Houses (Black Eagles & Golden Deer), Engage

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: Awakening -- still Awakening! possibly tied with 3H, though. i really enjoy games where i can peacefully level grind

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! vaguely ordered, it's: Wolf, Maria, Cordelia, Seliph, Katarina...? if you think you're seeing a trend you're probably right, hahaha ^^ writing a character is an expression of love for me, so inevitably my muses climb higher and higher on my list over time

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! the clearest one i can remember is wolf, because when i was playing fe11 i was passively using him because he was pretty, and then he got 7 crits in a row and i was like :pika:

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳i'm weak toward green haired women AHSJASFDSF but actual game crushes, hmm... not sure!

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: chrom -> still chrom! - Fates: takumi -> hmm... silas or flora? - Three Houses: dimitri -> still dimitri, except now he's duking it out with yuri - Engage: i have the ring in my pocket as we speak, suffering from the burden of choice... probably diamant though?

Favorite Fire Emblem class? whatever class my blorbos thrive in

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? in all likelihood i'm a villager with just absolutely baffling AI. not entirely stupid, but you cant in good conscience say it's smart either HAHA as a playable unit though, i might be a recruit-type? i could do well if you help me grow, otherwise i'm just this scruffy shitty thing tucked into your pocket. middling-high skill growth, paper defense, and you wish you knew what my speed growth was because i don't (probably fast as a mage but realistically NOT as anything physical)

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran) my heart says blue lions, but if i'm just some guy (unaffiliated civilian) i won't be surprised

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? - Boons: Reason - Banes: Authority, Gauntlets - Budding Talent: Flying

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon) hmm... probably either Firene or Lythos! i'm too much of a weenie to be from brodia HAHA

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?) toah, like noah! to all my xiv gamers out there this definitely applies to job shorthands too. durg. dirk. whum blum sidge. rurpur and rogg...

Current TOA muses: Maria & Katarina

Past TOA muses? Cordelia my beloved

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Maria! unless something unprecedented happens, i don't see that changing. writing her, her want and determination to love and find wonder in the world, to spread and be joy -- it just puts me in a good place! it's really, genuinely helped me a lot, even if her extroversion is exhausting to my introvert ass sometimes HAHA

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) uhhh... i definitely tend toward characters who are in some regard defined by a form of love or strong emotion, romantic though it need not be -- people who have some sort of powerful, aching tenderness in their heart. i've not really done as much as i've wanted in terms of bringing that out of them, but it's definitely something that draws me in to a character in the first place!

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? ooh, there are lots of characters i like who have a brusque edge or manner, who might be harsh or cold... i wish i could do that! i'd like to try, i think. and also the funny, energetic, boisterous types -- i love to see them and be around them, but i definitely can't pull it off hahaha

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) it's been a while since i've gone all in on this kind of scene, but i love emotional scenes and heart-to-hearts -- the sort of thing where you're communicating your feelings with everything you have and trying to reach someone else! i usually rein myself in well shy of that though, hahaha. i worry a lot about getting too lost in the sauce and derailing a conversation/thread, or making it all about what my muse/what they want to communicate.

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? for katarina, i'd love for her to make some friends! she's her own worst enemy in this regard, separating herself from friends/friendships whether consciously or subconsciously. for maria... well, i'd love for her to have a real heart to heart with someone!

Favorite TOA-related memories? to this day i miss and adore annie's frederick! his dynamic with my cordelia at the time was so much fun to write and to talk about and we had such thoughts for how their relationship would evolve -- it's one of the most interesting and endearing relationships i've had the pleasure of writing! on a sillier note, i often think about leif hauling ass after kanoesa's lewyn HAHA

Present or past tense? it used to be past tense, but i think toa's successfully converted me to defaulting to present hahaha ^^;; consciously at least, i try to match whatever my partner does!

Normal size text, small text, no preference? it doesn't matter to me, but i do hate fighting tumblr to keep all of the small text small.

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 the wolf app/blog i've been refining on and off for the better part of three years is no secret HAHA, but i've seriously contemplated writing a few other characters! radd and boucheron, to name a couple. i get super attached to my characters though, so it's a bit tricky

[stardustrebels]

Of Sin and Silver- Chapter 1

Western!AU Din Djarin x OFC WC: 2.4k 18+ MDNI

Series Masterlist | Blog Masterlist Next Chapter

Summary: In the scorching Arizona Territory of 1867, the untamed West is wild and unforgiving. Silver veins run deep beneath the desert hills, drawing fortune seekers and outlaws alike. The law is a waning authority and towns like Silver Ridge are birthed and die by the whims of ruthless men. 

Evelyn Prescott has had her whole life uprooted by her father as he chases fortune in these lands, but when she crosses paths with a dangerous bounty hunter, her steadfast belief of what’s right and wrong gets blurred, and she learns the West’s harshest truth: only the strongest survive. 

A/N: So this has been in my drafts for a good long while, one of two Din x OFC works I have on the go, and I am so excited to share it with you all. Please let me know what you think, I'm stepping way outside my comfort zone with this. I just want to write cowboy Din in a historical setting. Speaking of, I do try and make things as historically accurate as possible- I am a massive nerd and a stickler for details. I hope you enjoy!

Silver Ridge was a town that had been hewn out of grit and desperation. It clung to the edges of the Arizona desert like a dying man to his last breath. The last stop for many, and nobody’s first choice. Mountains of jagged rock loomed in the distance, rising like sentinels over a land as unforgiving as the outlaws who sought refuge in its shadows. 

Evelyn Prescott had no place here. A Boston-raised debutante dragged from the polished ballrooms and society of the East by her father who was convinced that his fortune lay in the hills of this new frontier. 

She stood at the open window of her bedroom in their new dwelling; a neglected wooden farmhouse on cheap land, barely big enough for them and the few staff they employed. She supposed it must have been cosy once, and therefore it might be again. The first rays of sunlight filtered through the frayed curtains of her bedroom along with the breeze, carrying with it the faint metallic tang on the air that engulfed the town. It was a taste unique to this part of the world, one which billowed out of the ground in invisible blood- scented plumes, lingering at all times whether the mines were operational or not. 

Beyond the property boundary the town had already stirred to life, the distant clatter of the mines mixed with hoofbeats and early morning chatter in a familiar rumble. She could hear the sounds of the staff already busy with their duties from below and she could delay the beginning of the day no longer. She dressed quickly in a simple dark cotton dress, pinned her hair back as she always did, and with a final glance at her reflection, made her way downstairs. 

Her mother was absent from the breakfast table, as she often was these days, but her father sat at the far side next to the window, eyeing her as she entered over his spectacles and a lowered newspaper, his pipe hanging out of the corner of his mouth. He greeted her with a low mumble of her name and flicked the broadsheet back up in front of his face, not waiting for her response. Happy to enjoy the relative silence, Evie tried to read the headlines as best she could through her father’s fingers while she helped herself to a buttered griddle cake. 

BANDIT AMBUSH THWARTED: LOCAL MERCHANT RESCUED. Quick-Thinking Stranger Foils Attempted Robbery

It was another in a long list of reports of violence and crime, but at least it was tame; the day prior she’d read that the body of a wanted criminal had been found lying in the street. Evie pondered, not for the first time that morning, whether her father’s decision to move them here was wise, although she would not dare to ask him. She was sure that her displeasure was evident had he been paying attention, and she had to remain hopeful that he would succeed in making his fortune. The alternative was too dispiriting to even consider. 

Nothing was as it was meant to be. Six months ago she had been set to marry in to one of the most influential families in Boston, to manage a lavish household and her own staff, to host grand dinner parties and wear the latest fashions. It had all been snatched away from her the moment her fiancé, Benjamin, had died. His death was quick and his funeral had been quicker, leaving in its wake a wave of unprecedented events that both families were still reeling from. She had cared for him in her own way and may have even grown to love him over time, and it had been a small mercy that the man had not been old or cruel, or both. He had been a shy and sickly boyish figure, the only male heir of his father’s business, and as an adult had just begun to come out of his shell when he passed. His life snuffed out before he really had a chance to live and hers irrevocably changed because of it. Evie stared forlornly in to her half- empty cup of coffee and resisted the urge to sigh aloud. 

Her mother had told her at the time that the only way to avoid malaise was action; to ‘busy oneself with a steady stream of tasks befitting a young woman of her station’ and so she had thrown herself in to charity work in the city, philanthropic acts on behalf of both families to lessen the blow and remain present in society, albeit in mourning. Her mother had failed to follow her own advice since they had relocated, and had fallen in to a deep wasting melancholy. There was little society here anyway, no matter what her father said. Evie threw the man a glare as she made to leave and hoped that he felt it through the newspaper. 

To avoid falling in to her own ‘wasting melancholy’, Evie had convinced the staff to teach her some skills that seemed more befitting of this new place than embroidery, reading and painting. She had received one shooting lesson from Mr Tabiner, the man-of-all-work, before her mother forbade any more. Her mother had, after some convincing, consented to allow some riding lessons and for Evie to assist with the every day running of the household and so far she had helped the housekeeper, Mrs O’Connor, tend to the chickens, make bread, griddle cakes and stew. Today she had errands to run in town, and Evie had happily accepted the invitation to join her. It was often her only excuse to leave the house, and any time spent outside of it was a small mercy. 

Evie took long strides to keep up with Mrs O’Connor’s surprisingly speedy gait as they made their way from the post office to the general store. The store was always the last errand as it was closest to the house, and her aching feet were grateful for it. 

The midday sun beat down on the dusty streets, leaving no shadows for shade. The town was bustling with activity and she struggled not to bump in to folk as she shielded the sun from her eyes with her hand, wiping the occasional bead of sweat from her brow. 

Some conversations through the murmur of chatter were louder than others; talk of the attempted robbery. There was a group of women huddled around the entryway to the general store whose chatter about it was loudest of them all. 

Mrs O’Connor tutted at the gossip, but Evie slowed. She caught snippets of the conversation and strained to hear more as she walked past. Just as she stepped up on to the wooden porch of the store, the chatter suddenly ceased. Evie felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle as someone whispered: 

There he is. 

She turned, following the gaze of the group of gossipers. 

The man’s frame cut a striking silhouette against the midday sun through the dense crowd. His wide-brimmed hat, pulled low, cast a deep shadow across his face. A dark bandana covered the rest. His brown coat, long and travel-worn flared as he walked unhurried steps towards them. Slung across his back was a rifle and a revolver hung at his waist. 

A drunken insult yelled from outside the saloon across the street made Evie’s heart jump in to her throat, her own gasp mingling with the other women around her. A large man with a wild beard staggered towards the middle of the road. He swung a half-empty bottle of whiskey in his hand and gestured with it towards the mysterious figure. His face twisted with anger as he realised he was being ignored. 

“You hear me, stranger? I’m talkin’ to you!” 

The yell bounced off the buildings opposite. Silence seemed to spread out in a ripple from the porch, conversations stopped in their tracks. The entire street seemed to hold its breath as all eyes turned towards them.

The stranger stopped and turned his head to glance over his shoulder, but did not answer. Without hesitation, the drunk swung the bottle towards the stranger’s head in a clumsy arc. What happened next was so fast, Evie barely registered it. 

The stranger sidestepped the blow effortlessly, his hand shooting out to grab the drunkard’s wrist, disarming him with a sharp twist as he turned to face him. He shoved the man backwards sending him stumbling in to the dirt. The drunkard groaned from where he lay, clutching his wrist, but he didn’t dare move. The stranger continued on his way without another glance at him. 

Evie realised her heart was pounding in her chest at the sight. She had never seen anyone move like that- so quick, so precise. A small group had formed around the drunken man in the road and the street had erupted in chatter once more.

Mrs O’Connor nudged her arm, making her jump. 

“Come along Miss Prescott. Let’s get what we need and be on our way.”

But Evie couldn’t will herself to move- the stranger was walking directly towards her. She side-stepped to get out of his way, but he didn’t look up as he climbed the stairs to the porch, and didn’t say anything as he passed, choosing only to tip the brim of his hat in silent acknowledgement as he hurried past and in to the store. 

The group of gossipers practically stumbled over themselves to press against the window as soon as the door had swung shut. Mrs O’Connor gave a sigh and mumbled something to herself about ‘Western absurdities.’ 

Evie tried to calm her breathing as she followed the older woman in to the store, the bell above the door giving a happy jingle as they entered. The shopkeeper, Mr Thompson, greeted them with a wide smile,

“Miss Prescott, Mrs O’Connor! Won’t be a moment.” 

Evie had barely had time to browse any items before the stranger had placed some silver coins on the counter, mumbled a thanks and was walking past her and out of the store again. 

“Strange feller, him,” Mr Thompson said, turning to Mrs O’Connor, hand outstretched to take the scrap of paper with her list on it. “Mando, they say his name is. Awfully odd, but I’ll tell you, he sure did save my hide yesterday.” 

“The attempted robbery from the paper?” Evie asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“The very same,” Mr Thompson said, taking the opportunity to tell the story for what you’re sure was at least the tenth time that day. 

His arms flew around with passionate abandon as he recalled that two men had entered, waved their pistols at him and told him to empty his till and unlock the back room. How he’d felt obliged to do just that until the stranger- Mando- had entered, knocked the first man clean out with one strike and disarmed the second before Mr Thompson even registered what was happening. Took down the both of them without even drawing his gun, he said. 

Had Evie not just seen such a similar display outside, she would have been inclined to believe that Mr. Thompson had been at the liquor. It sounded absurd. Apparently the man had refused any sort of remuneration, and then dragged the men off to the Sheriff himself without another word. 

“What a tale, Mr Thompson,” Mrs O’Connor said, completely disinterested as she gathered the goods in to her basket. Evie, however, was enthralled. 

“Is he a lawman?” She asked, accepting a bag of flour to carry. 

Mr Thompson shrugged, “No badge,” he said, “and folks have said he doesn’t much show his face. Some sort of bounty hunter, if I had to guess, given how he hauled those badmen off.”

A shiver of excitement jolted down Evie’s back and she was about to ask more questions when Mrs O’Connor snapped the lid of her basket shut. “Thank you, Mr Thompson, that will be all today. Come along, Miss.” 

Evie was left with no choice but to follow the woman as she left the shop, barely able to say goodbye to poor Mr Thompson, who had seemed excited to talk further about his ordeal. 

The gossips were gone from outside, and Evie absently noted that the street had emptied somewhat. She stepped quickly, trying to keep pace with Mrs. O’Connor as she made her way down the street. She was so focussed on adjusting the bag in her arms, that she didn’t notice that she was about to collide with something solid.

She let out a small cry of surprise at the impact and a strong hand caught the top of her arm, steadying her before she could stumble.

“Easy there,” a low, muffled voice said from in front of her. 

Evie looked up and nearly dropped the bag in to the dirt as she took in the figure before her. It was him. The bounty hunter. 

Up close he was even more imposing; all she could see of his face were his eyes, darker than they had any right to be, flicking over her for any sign of injury when she didn’t say anything. He let go of her arm and stepped back. Evie blinked up at him a few times before regaining her senses. 

“I am terribly sorry, Sir.” She said, unable to tear her gaze from his. “I’m afraid I didn’t see you.” 

“No harm done, Miss,” he replied. 

For a moment, he just stood there as if debating whether to say more, and Evie fancied that she saw the evidence of a smile from under his bandana- the corners of his eyes crinkled slightly at the edges, their previous intensity replaced with something softer. When he seemed satisfied that she was unhurt, he stepped around her, taking his leave with a small tilt of his hat. 

Evie turned to watch him go, an uneasy feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. A warm breeze stirred the skirts around her ankles, and she let out a slow breath, turning when Mrs O’Connor called her name from further down the street. Evie hurried to catch up, fingers digging in to the bag of flour to carry it so that she could see where she was going. 

They were almost back to the house when Mrs O’Connor stopped in her tracks, turning to Evie, her face set in a grim expression. 

“Men like that bring trouble, Miss Prescott. We are best to stay far away and out of it.”

Evie only nodded and watched as the housekeeper continued her marching pace through the gates of the house, leaving her behind in a small cloud of dust. She followed slowly behind, thoughts stuck on the dark eyes gleaming over the top of that well-worn bandana, and found that she couldn’t agree. 

[kafus]

do you have any opinions on liko's visual design

i was trying to sit on this ask until i felt up to doodling a little for it but i've decided to answer it anyway lmao

i am not really a character designer despite being an artist so take me with a grain of salt but i REALLY like liko's design and i think it's really strong. her clothes are strong/bold colors that are instantly recognizable and separate out her design well in pretty much any pose or angle you put her in. the silly plume? spike? tail? on her hair gives her a really strong silhouette, especially when combined with the bit of her bangs sticking out, like even if she were a complete shadow she'd be recognizable immediately. and i like how the hair spikes and the blue on the underside of her hair is genetic and you can see the throughline between her and her relatives on her mom's side really easily thru their hair lmao

her face is sort of generically Big Round Eyes but that actually does her well cause they're able to play with her facial expressions a lot without feeling like it's breaking the design. i don't have a ton of examples on hand at this very moment but here's a couple from a convo i was having w my qpp last night lol

and in general even slight changes to her eye shape/eyebrows convey a lot of emotion because of how much space there is.

on a more biased note liko is just REALLY FUN TO DRAW? the only thing i get a little stuck on sometimes is the collar of her jacket. but like. liko is just seriously so fun to draw. her hair especially. it's right in my comfort zone. feels effortless. and having the blue peak out under her hair is such an easy shortcut to giving her hair volume. godtier design for me specifically to draw IT'S SO FUN

there's definitely more i could say but i'll leave it here LMAO

[vanitatorium]

Review: Chapter 2

Worked 2 months: 07. 09 ~ 09. 09, 2024

Overall: 151 panels

Quality got higher, i really love depicting the hall of shadows, i haven't known, and i've drawn historical figures based on some references. With them i could do time-traveling further. I should practice drawing perspectives, getting out of comfort zone.

But i feel my story isn't interesting to the new readers. It feels like i'm doing an infodump (like the autistic way), not giving some interesting scene for readers and off to some genre??? 70% of readers only read Episode 1. That means i haven't use some hooks for horror/thriller/mystery readers. (And still Tapas haven't let me in the staff's pick. Sad but it would take times.)

Well, because i've only drawn fanarts, so i don't know what kind of subject, topic would attract the fans of certain genre — I'm learning.

Only some fans i've met in other fandom love it. I've got plenty of fanarts had a fandom. (I feel amused as people make something like meme and discuss about characters) I hope i could make my people more.

While i'm working i've began to make reels per day, some fanarts, but i don't know it would help me. At least reels help me to reach some new people... Fanarts help me to find new people, reels too, especially tutorials , trends and questions about drawing. As a director-writer-producer-marketer i should research amounts of target audiences more 👁️

Anyway, an architecture concept of Vanitatorium is almost shaped. I'm working on it...

Fortunetelling said i'm in depression in this month, but if i believe in my passion and go on my way not being rush myself, after 5 months i'll get my reward. Should i believe it?! But there's no way and hope, so i should believe 🥶

Next chapter will be about my characters because they've just reacted, not telling who they are, but finally, i could tell who they are. I love them so much. I hope people love them.

I believe that Vanitatorium could change life to be better.

+ My health got worsened as i haven't gone outside in August, lost my way (But i found an important shard of Vanitatorium at least) So i'm losing weight and doing workout, eating healthy meal right now...

Should do next:

make prologue for hooking genre readers

post more reels per day (Connecting with comics)

start uploading chapters on Webtoon Canvas

draw a new cover of Vanitatorium (after researching)

dive into new chapters!

Tapas views/likes/comments result:

Link:

[aimlessarchery]

TOA Anniversary Munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

tagging: anybody/everybody!

----

Name: Maddie

Pronouns: they/she

Birthday (no year): January 12

Where are you from? What is your time zone? US East Coast, EST

Roleplay experience: probably about ~10 years on-and-off between forums, chat rp, and tumblr

----

Got any pets? two dogs! Seamus is an Australian Shepherd, and Keegan is a rescue mutt. I love them both very dearly

Favorite time of year: Fall

Some interests and things you like: drawing/painting, RPGS, video game music (listening to, finding notation of + transcribing for piano)

Some funfacts & trivia about you: i'm left-handed and an eldest sibling, which means i accidentally taught my younger sister how to play guitar hero backwards

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? oh man. childhood favorites that stick with me are Pokemon, Kingdom Hearts, and Final Fantasy. I've dipped into Tales of, though the only one I've completed is Vesperia (beloved game). Octopath Traveler 1 and 2 are both amazing. Splatoon is my favorite shooter. I've gotten lost in Pillars of Eternity for hundreds of hours. I think my fav Elder Scrolls game has become Oblivion for some reason. Sometimes I dive into sim games like Planet Zoo or Two Point Hospital for a bit. I like video games!!

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: hard to pick a type, but some of my favs are Ampharos, Ivysaur, and Furret!

----

How did you get into Fire Emblem? downloaded the Awakening demo and played it like 10 times in a row. decided that buying myself the game was going to be my first "treat yourself" purchase when i moved out for college

What Fire Emblem games have you played? completed: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, Shadows of Valentia, Three Houses (VW, CF, most of AM) actively in progress: Blazing Blade, Three Hopes, Silver Snow route of 3H started, but only barely: Gaiden, Genealogy, Shadow Dragon (DS), New Mystery of the Emblem

First Fire Emblem game: Awakening

Favorite Fire Emblem game: Tellius Duology (hard to separate them for me haha), with SOV as a strong contender as well

Any Fire Emblem crushes? ...and if I was also a little aquiver with python from lukas's performance in the SOV DLC what of it

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? - Awakening: Stahl - Fates: Azama - Three Houses: Shamir

Favorite Fire Emblem class: hmm...archers and mages, maybe. it's always satisfying when the chip damage is enough to save a front liner from retaliation, and even more satisfying when a crit or adept procs and the ranged unit is like "nah dw i got this"

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? my gut says wind mage. idk why tho besides the lack of athleticism needed for a physical class lol

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Golden Deer!

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? I have not played engage but i want a ghost ike to be my bestie...

----

How did you find TOA? Lucius was over at my house and pitched it to me one night while we were reminiscing about FERP on tumblr. pulled up the rank chart on my computer to explain it to me and everything lmao

Current TOA muses: Python and Caspar

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? Python was my first! He's definitely the one I'm most confident in, and I see him as kind of my "bedrock muse" for now.

Have you had any other TOA muses? I had Reyson for a short-ish time!

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? I think I'm still feeling out the difference between "types of characters i gravitate toward liking" and "types of characters I gravitate toward writing". I do think I feel most comfortable writing supporting characters with enough backstory for me to tease out and build up from there!

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? I love character connection. Whether it's spoken aloud or not, I like little moments where I can have my muse compare a character to someone else they know, or see each other in a different way. I also love when characters have conflicting views and motivations and have to deal with that in one way or another!

Favorite TOA-related memory: KKE Team Guard coming together for that crazy rapid-fire chat that Ree sprung on us for the finale is definitely a strong one! It was so fun seeing different characters shine throughout the conversations, and on my own end I loved having an opportunity to let Python lose his cool for once >:3

How do you pronounce TOA? each letter pronounced individually: tee-oh-ay

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day in TOA that you’d like to share? I've only got fleeting thoughts that I would have to let simmer longer, especially when I would have to let someone go to fill the slot (I have accepted that 2 is my personal limit). That said, I've got a few guys hidden behind my back on the off-chance that I feel like it's time for a change ;0

[arcstral]

ooc; TOA Anniversary Munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: Soji

Pronouns: She/her

Birthday (no year): October 14

Where are you from? What is your time zone? United States. Both my parents are from South Korea. East coast resident (EST)

Roleplay experience: A little over 13 years of roleplay experience

Got any pets? One chinchilla affectionately dubbed Souji Man and a 'Shavanese' dog (short-haired Havanese) named Happy

Favorite time of year: Autumn

Some interests and things you like: The holy trinity of cosplaying, writing, and drawing

Some fun facts & trivia about you:

— I joined TOA during the peak of Covid quarantining in 2020 when there was a huge convention dry spell. The indie roleplay scene for Fire Emblem during this time was uneventful too. Having no productive outlet for cosplaying or writing, it lead me to join my first RP group which was (jazz hands) TOA

— My zodiac animal is a rabbit

— I have hundreds upon hundreds of hours clocked on Super Smash Bros from Brawl to Ultimate. You'll never guess who I main.

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Final Fantasy XIV, Project Zomboid, Phasmophobia, Touken Ranbu, and Stardew Valley in order of frequency.

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: I like bug types; my favorite Pokemon is Scizor. While not Pokemon my favorite Digimon, Kabuterimon, is also a bug. Honorable mention goes to Greninja.

How did you get into Fire Emblem? Saw Shadow Dragon in my local Gamestop one day and didn't buy it even though it stuck out to me with its somber and less colorful boxart. Next time I saw a Fire Emblem game in the store, i.e., Awakening, I bought and played it. The rest is history.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? If we're talking start-to-end I've played and finished FE1, FE3, FE7, FE9, FE11, FE12, Awakening, SOV, 3H, and Engage. The remaining games in the series I've played to either early or mid game.

First Fire Emblem game: Awakening

Favorite Fire Emblem game: FE11 Shadow Dragon

Any Fire Emblem crushes? FE7 Rath was my first and only concrete FE crush. Marth was initially more of an aesthetic source of admiration though knowing his character better he likely exemplifies the ideal partner. Similar to Marth he's not really a crush, but right now I think a lot about Rafal, ironically less in the realm of looks or perfection and more at his attractive hot-and-cold personality.

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? - Awakening: Chrom - Fates: Kaden was my forecast - Three Houses: Dimitri - Engage: Alfred

Favorite Fire Emblem class: Dracoknight

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? Archer. My first class in FFXIV was an archer and my FE tastes will reflect that too.

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Blue Lions

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? Marth. Need me a princely ghost boyfriend I mean advisor with a good head on his shoulders.

How did you find TOA? Through Fire Emblem roleplay related tags

Current TOA muses: Marth and Rafal

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? Marth is my ride or die Fire Emblem character and that extends to him as a muse.

Have you had any other TOA muses? Besides Marth and Rafal I've also written Xane. Though there isn't a lot of data, my second muse slot historically (and presently) being reserved for dragons tickles me a lot.

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? Not really. My tastes are unexplainably versatile. I can favor the sweet and friendly golden boy type characters, or the less pristine and morally ambiguous "bad boy" types, and everything in-between. This isn't just true for TOA but also for characters from different series. My friends have a lot of trouble forecasting possible favorites for me because of it.

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? Emotions. Conflict with those emotions. Mwahahahaha

Favorite TOA-related memory: The first few months into my TOA debut when everything was bright, fresh, and new. Meeting new friends and forging bonds with other characters was super fun and I still remember who was around me during that time. Farina (written by Maxie) is the closest muse to Marth in terms of when they joined TOA and who has stayed to this day.

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day in TOA that you’d like to share? I tend to be very stable, loyal, and proactive in my delusions. If they're strong enough I pursue them, like Xane and Rafal. Rath would be among them if I ever replayed FE7 and if I determined having three muses wouldn't make my performance suffer over all.

[danganwolfpack]

Hey there, everyone! I have a couple of questions for the group, so if anyone is up to it, they're welcome to reply.

I first want to ask a question that I've not asked any system before, and that is your headspace. I've heard some systems call their headspace "the city," "the forest," and so on, and initially thought that they were being symbolic or metaphorical.

But after doing some research, I realised that this was not the case and some systems do have a sort of "place" in their mind where headmates remain while they are not fronting or co-fronting. I hope I've understood that right, so please correct me if I'm wrong!

My question regarding it, however, is what does your headspace look like? Are there any important places or features, and for what reason are they important (they represent something, they serve a purpose, and so on)?

I've only recently learnt about soulbounds thanks to lockpickingliar, and I'm still trying my best to learn about them. So, I have some questions about them for you.

Do you consider those in this blog specifically to be fictives? Soulbounds? Maybe walk-ins? Can any of those three take on a role in the system, such as caretaker, guardian, and so on?

Thanks for your time!

- Saber

Hi Saber! Thanks for the thoughtful questions! We'll try to answer all parts. Some things may be shortened so this isn't a novel. lol

What we call our headspace.

So, for us, the headspace goes by two names. The Territories, or Klunavri(Klurin), depending on who you ask. It's kind of a vast area with multiple different "zones" if you will. And that's where the majority hang out, unless cofronting. Our inner world has always existed for us to an extent, it's just grown over time. Some call it home, some call it their afterlife. But those are the given names after the fact.

What does it look like?

Well, kinda depends on where you are. Mostly, it is a lot of forest, I will admit that. Some of our earliest here were wolves though, so it makes sense.

Over time, we've grown and changed. Now, while we are still covered in forests, we have had a town area and a more city like zones appear as people have.

Some areas are a little more barren, desert like. The city is run by one group. The forest by our system coalpha himself, Cody, but he hangs on my main with the main system when he's up to it. Honestly, majority is run by some system member or another.

Important places

Uhm..... where to start. Guess I'll start with the town, since it's where a lot of people hang out. It's been going through some growth spurts lately with all the new draws in the last few months but it's a big hub either way. When things are going on, people like to meet up here. It's also where the school is.

Another big place is the Library, and I think that should be pretty self explanatory. But it's been a big part of our growth, and where kids used to get together to study and hang out.

I think one of the biggest ones is the Shirukatoran, or Shadow Forest (base name). It's been a pretty big step for us and a constant. Trees deep in color and easy to get lost in, it's kind of a staple here since it's one of the earliest areas. Within it, is the Nyarkatoran, or the Forest of Mist. I don't know a lot, but Cody hangs out there with Spirilu. Yeah, I know it's silly to not know details about your own head but what can you do?

Not asked, but favorite places

Fire Falls- a waterfall area where the water runs warm and icicles hang from the trees.

Significance- I just think it's a beautiful place, especially at sunset, had a couple people plan to marry there.

Falcon's Peak- I think the highest point here. Fun hiking spot. Ume in particular seems to like it

The Ruins(new discovery)- showed up after the Wolf's Rain kiddos (specifically Toboe, who came first) did. I only just learned about it recently though. Sometimes the architect does little things like that for people's comfort without passing it by me first, but so long as it doesn't mess with anything important, it's okay by me. Current hangout for the wolves and sometimes newcomers.

Places with purpose.

Probably places like:

The Den (Cody's Pack's hangout and base point). Helps run things from there

Fenrir's place- Where Fen and the Codenames stay, also where Shino's DICE is currently staying until they finish moving their stuff to their new HQ.

The Alcove- cover name for the place pack leaders meet up for meetings involving system things

Okay. Now let's try to cover those soulbond questions before my sleep meds kick in lol. I personally don't like to use the term "fictives" for soulbonds. We have a fictive here, Origin, but he hangs on my main and it feels different to me? I dont know if i makes sense but these people had their own lives before here? So I wanna respect that. That being said, most of my bonds are pretty happy being called bonds, or even their name, or a name we chose together. I personally tend to use bond, muse, packmate. Cause to me, that's what they are. Part of our pack, even if they are from another source. Some are walk ins, some targeted pulls. Others, I honestly have no clue how they got here (LMAO I have a list of these guys at this point).

Can any of those three take on a role in the system, such as caretaker, guardian, and so on?

Okay. This is the one I've been excited for and the answer is, sort of, kinda yes. At least for us. I've taken on a caretaker role, though I'm not part of the system, we can freely interact. I actually have a pretty good standing relationship with the cohost Cody and help out where I can. When he's having issues, I'm actually the one to take over care for Ruri, that's actually why you see her with me a lot of the time, I'm one of her safe people.

Anyways, Ru is falling asleep, so I'm going to call it here. Thanks again for the questions. If you want more details, or we missed something, let me know.

Ruri and Fenrir

[pennedbylisse]

August 16, 2024

Waxing Moon

I’m tired of being a 20-something year-old only-daughter living in their very Hispanic parents’ house

Of being instructed on how I should feel, exactly how much sad I should allow myself to wallow in based on my circumstances (of having them decide for me that my circumstances are favorable relative to their fucked up traumatic childhood experiences which they still haven’t gone to therapy for)

Of being told how I should act in a certain setting or being belittled for an emotional reaction that was raw against a trigger

Of being warned what I am incapable of doing something like moving across states or studying abroad based on their idea of me

Of still being spoken of as if I’m eight years old in the room with them

Of feeling guilty and incapable of going out to places of my interest on my own, feeling like I constantly have to ask for permission or bring them alone so they see I’m not doing anything “wrong.”

Of being baited and guilt-tripped into requesting weeks off from my work just to travel with my parents when I suspect that mother doesn’t really like to spend time with my stepfather out of boredom and uses me as a form of scapegoat/accompanying doll

I hate being the one who orders things in public. I hate being the one used to break an indecision or tie. I hate being asked what I want or think about choices when they are just going to invalidate or coerce me.

I hate that I long for a boyfriend mostly so that I have a place to go other than my own home, an excuse to be away and to possibly move without my mother acting betrayed.

I hate feeling guilty for wanting to be more independent, for wanting to live alone, far away from them, far enough that our time zones clash and we use that as excuses for going days without talking

I hate feeling like I can never fully be my self, or never be able to thoroughly explore my identity because I am limited to their perception of me.

I still feel like a child. I am a child in an adult’s body.

I want to be validated.

I want to not have to justify my choices a million times over.

I want to be free.

I want to be independent.

I want to be able to choose when I see them instead of being obligated to bond over boring dinner talk. I hate envying American families for the way their children leave the nest at 18 and only ever return for major holidays, if even that.

I hate being involved in family drama and robbed of my peace. Blood is not everything. Just because they have title of cousin or aunt doesn’t mean I owe them my peace.

I hate being ridiculed for my lonesome introspective habits. I hate that they think they know me better than I know myself.

I hate feeling like they are holding me back and I especially hate being told that I should appreciate them while I have them as if I don’t already. Just because I am taking a moment to reflect privately on my frustrations does not mean I don’t do well by my parents. Which leads me to the complaint that I hate being the reliable, well-behaved poster child. I wish I’d been more rebellious growing up because then they’d expect less of me.

I HATE being constantly asked whether I’m ok or what’s wrong with me. I’m mostly not but I have to constantly lie about it, force a smile. This mask is drawing a crater between us.

And I COULD find a way to share most of these frustrations with them but it would likely end with cloying phrases of reassurance and the sly comment that I’m just too young to know that I’m wrong. Like cotton candy, I end up feeling coaxed in sweet comfort but with the knowledge that it’s hollow and fading.

I am aware I was born from and of my parents but I don’t want to live FOR my parents. My life is my own. I can’t fathom or make peace with the fact some people my age and younger get handed more freedom and autonomy than I have. It frustrates me beyond belief.

I feel like I’m my mother’s sown shadow. I can never venture too far without having to explain myself. I’m her puppet on strings.

I didn’t have a choice on whether I should have been born so I think I should have a choice on how I live my life from here on out.