#only shadow will get me to draw out of my comfort zone

[smilenetwork]

IDOL SHADOW🦇

[writingtraumaforever]

Uncontrolled Chaos: Chapter 16

Notes: Things are tensing up!

Summary: Sonic and Shadow finally get in touch with Tails.

Chapter Select!

Link to my AO3!

Start:

“Got any twos??”

“Mm.. go fish.”

“Damn.”

Shadow draws another card with a sigh, sitting in the floor while leaned back on one hand and holding his cards in the other. Sonic is sitting criss-crossed with his elbows on his knees and cheek rested in one hand while holding his cards in the other.

In other words: very bored.

“Got any sevens?”

“Fuck you, you’re cheating.”

“I’m not! How would I be cheating???”

“I don’t know. Some sort of weird chaos power I don’t know about??”

“…A chaos power that allows me to see game cards??”

“It would be baller at the Casino Zone.”

Shadow sighs and rolls his eyes at this, tossing his cards on the floor in front of him before pushing himself up to stand, “I need a drink.”

Sonic watches him before standing up as well to follow behind him, fully prepared to grab his guest a beverage only to find Shadow helping himself to the fridge.

Weird.

Shadow seems so comfortable in Tails’ place. Like he’s use to it or adjusted to it or something. 

Honestly, there’s a lot about this Shadow that’s odd to Sonic. But he doesn’t quite know how to bring any of it up without potentially making things awkward.

Ever since Shadow held Sonic’s hand in the hospital, Sonic hasn’t dared to push the matter. Though, he has his suspicions..

Like maybe this Shadow thinks of Sonic as a brother or something?? Like Tails.

Tails would totally hold Sonic’s hand in a stressful situation.

Bro things, ya’know??

Shadow pulls out a water bottle before turning back to Sonic as he opens it, “No contact from Miles yet??”

“Nope,” Sonic shakes his head, popping the ‘p’ with a shrug, “He’ll call soon, though, I’m sure.”

Shadow hums and drinks from his bottle, “So.. what exactly caused this need for everyone to up and go on their own self discovery adventures, anyway??”

“Oh! Well. It’s a long story,” Sonic says as his eyes drift away, not really wanting to rehash the whole Starfall Islands fiasco.

“We literally have nothing but time,” Shadow deadpans, “Unless you want to play another round of Go Fish? Or Uno??”

“Nah, I’m good,” Sonic insists with a little snort, “What if we went for a run instead??”

Shadow quirks a brow at how adamant Sonic seems to no want to talk about what happened with him and his friends, “…Rouge said not to leave because GUN likely was surveilling us.”

Sonic smirks at this, “Can’t surveil what’s too fast to see.”

Shadow huffs, crossing his arms, “I’m not potentially getting GUN involved anymore than they already are.”

Sonic tilts his head at this, looking at Shadow with a quirk of his brow before leaning against the nearby counter, “Why are you so scared of them??”

“I’m not scared,” Shadow answers with a little frown, looking down at his water bottle as he rubs his gloved thumb along the ridges of the cap, “I simply don’t wish to have to cross paths with them if I can help it.”

“Ya’know— Shadow works for GUN.”

“So I’ve gathered..,” Shadow mutters, taking another drink. 

“You don’t seem too thrilled about that.”

“Why would I be??” Shadow huffs, seeming to have been poked in the wrong place with how he snaps, “To think any version of myself would dare to work for that corrupted monstrosity of an organization after what they did?!—“

Shadow pauses upon seeing how Sonic’s ears fold back a bit at his raised voice, sighing and collecting himself before muttering, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just.. frustrating is all.”

Sonic just looks at Shadow a moment, brows knit a bit as he tries to think of something to say that won’t trigger the guy again.

“..I think— not to defend the guy, but… I think Shadow just wanted to protect the earth in the best way he knew how. And he thought GUN was a good place to start.”

“Why would that be the place to start??? They’re cruel and corrupt—“

“Hey. No arguments here on that,” Sonic snorts with a shrug, “I don’t really care for them much either..” he pauses a moment before adding, “Maybe ask Rouge?? She knows Shadow way better than I do. Maybe she could provide some insight.”

“It still blows my mind she knows another version of myself so well,” Shadow admits with a shrug, “I’ve barely even spoken to the bat back on my world. Let alone worked as her partner.”

Sonic snorts a bit, “You and her’s dynamic works shockingly well here in this world. Honestly, I was glad to see the two of them getting close..”

“How come?” Shadow asks, his ear twitching with curiosity.

“Well-.. I mean, I just.. it was nice seeing you, ya’know.. not alone..,” Sonic admits as he rubs the back of his neck, looking away a bit shy.

Shadow smiles a bit at this— something Sonic still hasn’t gotten use to— and takes another sip of his drink as he eyes the blue hedgehog a bit analytically..

“Didn’t realize you cared.”

“Yeah, well. I got a big heart,” Sonic plays off with a little grin, winking at Shadow and causing the black hedgehog to chuckle in response.

“That you do..”

Sonic just smiles a bit as he looks at Shadow only to jolt a bit when the sudden ringing of his communicator goes off from the living room.

“Ah shit— Tails!”

He dashes into the living room, picking up the communicator in seconds.

“Tails, buddy! Was startin’ to worry about ya!”

“Yeah, sorry,” the young fox smiles sheepishly on the screen, rubbing the back of his neck with a wrench in hand, “Got carried away making modifications on the Tornado and didn’t hear my beeper go off.”

“Hey, no sweat, pal! Just glad to see you’re alright,” Sonic winks, glancing up as Shadow slowly makes his way into the living room.

“Heh. Yeah,” Tails chuckles, concern growing in his eyes then, “By the way— are you alright?? Your message said it was an emergency..”

“Oh! Yeah, um… okay, you may wanna sit down for this.”

Tails blinks before slowly moving to sit down with an “ohhh boy. Okay, shoot.”

“Alright,” Sonic takes a deep breath before speed running through his explanation, “So Shadow apparently went on some top secret GUN mission the other day, and briefly went missing after an explosion only to be found knocked out a few miles away. They took him in and treated him, but when he woke up, he was all weird and stuff. But the real weird part was that all his scans showed he didn’t hit his head or anything, so Rouge suspected something else was going on. He refused to talk to anyone but me, so I got pulled in and he talked then. And boy did he have some crazy stuff to say. He acted like he didn’t know Rouge and held my hand—“

“He held your hand???”

“—Ya. That’s what I said. Anyway, Rouge mentioned his Chaos Energy was off the scales when they found him, so we kinda figure maybe something happened with that. Then Shadow explained he had used the fake chaos emerald to chaos control— oh, except he wasn’t on a mission for GUN, but was on a mission with us instead! So he used chaos control to save another me’s ass—“

“Woah woah woah..,” Tails interrupts, holding his hands up with a lost expression on his face, “You’re losing me, Sonic.. a mission with us?? I’ve been away, and—“

“No, no, no, there’s another us.”

Tails blinks at Sonic with a perplexed expression and Sonic just nods as if it makes total sense.

“…what??”

Shadow sighs, having heard enough of Sonic’s poor explanation and walking over to stand behind where the hero sits on the couch to be seen on screen.

Tails blinks at that, looking surprised, “Oh— um.. h-hi Shadow.”

“Hey Kid,” Shadow smirks slightly, “Sonic is absolutely atrocious at communication—“

“Hey!”

“—So let me just paraphrase the situation. I am not this world’s Shadow. I come from a different world where our timelines are slightly off. The running theory is that my use of the fake chaos emerald along with your world’s Shadow’s use of the fake chaos emerald somehow possibly switched us up. Or on a more morbid theory, your Shadow died in the explosion and the universe had to somehow mend this loss with another version of him. Either way— we’re pretty confused over here and could use your brain.”

Tails stares wide eyed with his mouth dropped open. Sonic can’t tell if it’s because of everything Shadow said or the fact Shadow said so much to him.

Sure as hell, Tails chuckles and, “I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard Shadow say. This world’s or not.”

“Right?!” Sonic laughs, “It’s weird, right???”

“Very,” Tails nods, though his smile fades a bit then, “But this is serious. If there’s alternate dimension jumping involved, there’s no telling what sort of damage this could do to space and time itself!”

“Like what??” Sonic frowns, Shadow leaning over him to listen too.

“Like— oh, gee.. um.. well lots of things, really! There’s endless possibilities with this sort of stuff! Gravity changes. Time jumps— Black holes that could swallow up entire worlds!“

Sonic and Shadow both swallow hard at the same time, not fully having realized how potentially diar their situation actually was.

“…Sweet!” Sonic says sarcastically, “We love world-swallowing holes.”

Shadow snorts a bit behind him and Sonic’s head snaps around to narrow his eyes at this Shadow’s immaturity. 

“Get it together, Shads,” Sonic chastises playfully and hypocritically.

He then returns his gaze to Tails on the screen, “Exactly how much time would we have before something like that happened??”

“Oh, there’s no telling,” Tails shrugs with a frown, “Again, this is space and time we’re talking about. Could be years. Could be seconds.”

Shadow’s hands clench a bit tighter on the back of the couch, Sonic’s own body tensing every second they talk about this.

“…Awesome.. so uh. You think you could—“

“Already typing the coordinates back home in,” Tails responds, Sonic breathing a small sigh of relief that his little brother is coming back home, “I should be there by morning!”

“Great!! Don’t exactly know where to even start without our team’s genius here to carry us,” Sonic boasts, trying to stay optimistic despite recent revelations.

Tails offers a sideways smile, moving to stand again, “Well this genius needs to get the Tornado tuned up and flying!”

“Right. Do that. We’ll be here waiting!”

“Alright, sounds like a plan. Bye, Sonic!”

“See ya, buddy!”

The connection is ended.

Sonic lets the communicator fall on his lap with a light thump, tilting his head back to look up at Shadow from his upside down angle. Shadow looks back down at him with a small frown.

They both sigh.

“Why must you always bring drama, Edgelord??”

[kali-chaotic-neutral]

Advice

Pick a cat and get some much needed advice

This will include:

~Advice you might need ~Something you have to hear ~Insight on something

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Take what you resonate with, leave what you don't.

Please do not hesitate to suggest a few PAC reading topics as I am struggling with these type of posts.

Cat 1:

I feel as though you may be in a sort of identity crisis. Maybe you're going through a time of major change, and it is causing some crisis of sorts. You're worldview has been shaken and you're brain chemistry has been altered dramatically. Additionally, this could be some drastic change in your spirituality or maybe you're leaving a religion for another or just leaving religion entirely and being hounded by your community for doing so. I know it's stressful, I know you're probably extremely critical of yourself, picking and panicking over every little mistake you make. I want you to take a deep breath and know that this isn't the end of the world. Take the energy you use to criticise yourself to maybe journal, do some shadow work or gratitude journalling. You don't have to write paragraphs after paragraphs. Even one bullet point can make a difference. Let out your thoughts on paper so you don't end up blowing up on someone. and regretting it. Let it out, clear your head and do some damage control before evaluating what steps you have to take to get yourself out of this pit.

Try to reconnect with your inner child, let that child within you have their moment. Do something simple and childish, colour a book, draw. Do something you've always wanted to do, surround yourself with people you love and your friends, let them help you. Trust that those who care about you have your back. Do not let this temporary setback make you lose sight of what you want. This stressful and dark time you are going through is coming to an end. The only reason this moment seems endless to you, is because it is YOU that is unintentionally dragging this moment. Maybe you're stretching on an argument, or clinging onto a grudge, or just simply holding onto bad habits. You are hurting yourself at this point, and there is no one else to blame but yourself. Accept this pain, let go of this grudge or actually try to stop repeating bad habits. And it's not easy. I have a smoking habit myself, but I am taking steps. I haven't smoked for a month now and it has taken too many failed attempts for me to get here. Do not prolong this situation, because when you fall it will hurt even more. Try stepping out of your comfort zone, baby steps is perfectly fine. For me, getting out of my comfort zone meant wearing more form fitting outfits. I started with crop tops and a jacket over, then moved onto just crop tops and jeans. Then only recently have I gotten the confidence to get out of the house in flared leggings. Very simple, yet so effective in telling you: "Hey, it's okay. See, You're fine. You look so beautiful when you're confidently wearing what you want.". Everyone's journey is different, take your time, but taking the steps is what matters.

Cat 2:

There is someone (or was someone) in your life that absolutely changed your life for the best, someone that was there for you in your hardest time. You might be feeling a bit guilty in the sense that they are always there for you, that whatever you give them (or want to give them) seems inadequate, or maybe this person is not in your life anymore and you feel guilt for not expressing your gratitude while they were there. The guilt is weighing you down, and might be leading to insecurities as well. Just know that even a simple acknowledgement and thanks is a gift, while not the most extravagant, it does hold meaning. Open your heart, let them know how grateful you are. And if you struggle with this, a small simple, meaningful gift will always send the message. A gift is a gift, it's the thought that matters. Let this person know, that you appreciate them for more than the comfort they bring you. And if they aren't in your life anymore and it feels like it's too late, it can be as simple as a journal entry addressed to this person. Pour out your heart and write the letter as though you would send it to them if they were present. Or maybe you went through a rocky split up (romantic, platonic) and you want to reach out but you're unsure whether or not you should. Give it a shot. If the other person doesn't respond or responds very harshly, let it go. At least you tried. Or maybe things just fell apart. Me and a few of my high school friends went to different colleges and just stopped chatting with each other. And even now, it's so awkward to try and chat with them, but also so awkward to unfollow them.

Take some time off if you can, maybe during a special occasion. If you're celebrating something with this person, let it be more intimate. Maybe with close friends/family or even just you and this person. Make time for this person, like they do for you. Or maybe it's a day that reminds you of them, honour them by doing something they enjoyed. One thing my grandmother enjoyed doing when she was alive was travelling to sacred, religious places where I live. Every year, my family and I go to these places, pray for her and have fun because she would have wanted that for us. If you've had a split up with this person with so many unsaid things, reach out. Get your closure, clear the air of misunderstandings if there are. If it's with someone you've gradually lost touch with and the awkwardness has stopped you from reaching out. Don't. Reply to their story, send them messages or posts online. let them know that you want to rekindle the friendship. Let them know, that you are also wanting to have this relationship (platonic, romantic). I've said to try and rekindle the relationships/reach out so many times and here I am saying it again: MEND THE RELATIONSHIP!!! BUILD BACK THE FUCKING BRIDGE! Forgive them, but also most importantly, forgive YOURSELF!! It's normal being hard on yourself. This however, what you're saying/doing to yourself is not it bbg. You need love right now, sweet summer child, not criticism. Put your inner critic on the back seat, let your inner healer take control. Do some self care. Face masks, spa, massage, manicure/pedicure. Take care of yourself.

Cat 3:

You're in a crisis. You have conflicting emotions that are fluctuating so fast it's giving you whiplash. Maybe you're facing a choice where you have to leave what you have known. Maybe you're home for further studies or maybe you're planning on moving homes or cutting off contact with family or friends you've known for a long time. It's difficult, because you are potentially leaving what you've always known, what your comfortable with/or people who you've known for a long time. There will always be people who will not support your decision, especially if you're cutting off contact with close family members or friends who you used to always be with. This crisis/conflicting emotions are more so due to you not wanting to deal with criticism from people you've grown up with and less to do with whether you want to do it or not. Because you do. You know it is what you want, but the potential of people's reaction is what's stopping you. If you always walk on eggshells when making decisions, to appease the people around you, you won't make it far. Stop caring about the opinion of people who don't have your best interests at heart.

Maybe what you are pursuing (If it is further studies/a job) is something that you've always wanted to pursue but have been discouraged to do so because it: "Won't put a roof over your hear head and feed you". A creative job/study. Art, music, dance, literally anything that requires creativity. Don't let these people have you give up on your dreams and instead have you slave away at a stressful office job/"prestigious" job. Don't be afraid to splurge on yourself once in a while. Treat yourself to a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant, or buy yourself something you've always wanted. Or even simpler, take a self care day. Take your time bathing, put on a face mask, dress yourself up (even if it is just to go get groceries) If you want to see change, you must initiate it. Don't be a sheep that follows people around mindlessly, take control/the reins if you have to. Assert yourself. Let your opinions stand out, true and strong.

Cat 4:

You're stretching out something tense, maybe an argument, maybe something that really angered you. And i'm not saying that you're anger is not justified. It is, what's not justified is how you're dragging this out. Blowing this situation out of proportion, making a mountain out a molehill. You are getting on the defensive, feeling the strong urge to prove that you are correct or that you didn't do something (or perhaps did) But at this point you're arguing at the wall honey. Know when to stop your battles, get yourself in check before the universe slaps you in the face. The other party has already dropped out, not wanting to spend their time arguing an age old issue. Come to terms with what happened, and try to calmly speak your mind. If you can't, journal it. let it go.

This conflict has you shaken and feeling unsure. What I'm getting is to make sure you're not biased, make sure to listen to the other person's side as well. Just listen and make your decision then. Because if you make a decision right now, it will only be more chaotic. Don't make a decision yet, wait, give yourself some space to clear your head because you're mind is not in the right space to make important decisions right now. Maybe this conflict is between you and a friend or a sibling/family member. I'm feeling that this conflict could be solved if you were to communicate, but there is such a clear lack of it that I am quite speechless. Talk things out, calmly and clearly, let them know how they hurt you and let them apologize/talk as well. Forgive if you can. Enforce boundaries with this person, maybe they overstepped despite your warnings and it was what caused this conflict. Remember, forgiving is good but it's not necessary to heal. If this person has been constantly overstepping your boundaries, firmly set them and cut off contact if you must. Or just be very firm and strict with your boundaries, you might have a habit of caving in to this person walking all over you. Not anymore.

[corybiit]

“Do I have a mother?” Vander froze on his side of the counter, pausing the train of thought about finances and all the errands he needed to get done around the pub for next week. Viktor to his credit didn’t even look up from his drawing.

It was something about cogs and mechanisms, and, if he looked close enough, he could probably see numbers and notes around the drawing, something Vander honestly didn’t know much about, but Benzo seemed to enjoy his child’s endless curiosity and so he often gave him scraps here and there. It was endearing, Vander didn’t know where he got the brains for science though, as much as Silco and he were revolutionaries, Vander didn’t know much about mechanisms or science, and Silco was more attuned to linguistics and philosophy than anything else, curious in other ways.

When he took too long to answer, his son stopped, put down his pencil, and looked up at him with those golden-like eyes that Vander knew were closer to his than Silco’s green ones. “I know a lot of people have different parents, but Nire did say there needs to be at least two to make a baby, and you’re just one.”

Vander stood frozen under his child's gaze. Of course-he thought- kids talk, they listen, they see. “You have a father,” Vander answered, still choked up about the whole topic; completely taken out of his comfort zone. Silco’s shadow over Viktor’s shoulder gave him an unimpressed look. “I know that you’re my dad,” Viktor said as if he needed to explain that to him. Vander almost smiled, if only he weren't feeling so nauseous.

“No, I—aside from me... you have another dad.” And maybe he shouldn’t tell him. Viktor was small, way too small to explain to him that it hadn’t been planned, that Silco had simply disappeared one day, and then months later, Viktor had been left outside the Last Drop, nothing but a note with his name, nothing else.

Children should be loved, Vander knew it, he had done everything to give Viktor all the things he might need in life, but of course, a child as smart as his son would notice something was missing.

Viktor blinked as if assimilating his words, then he nodded, solemn for a child of six. It would have made Vander chuckle if he didn’t feel so hollowed out by the topic. “Okay.” He said then looked down at his drawing, then back up again. “Can I go to my room?” Vander nodded, feeling outside of his body still. He watched as his son climbed down the stool, metal brace thudding on the wood floor heavily. Cane in one hand and drawing in the other.

“Viktor,” He called before his child could scurry away completely. Viktor looked back, golden eyes shinning. “you know I love you, right?” he asked, trying to reassure someone, although he didn’t know if it was his son or himself. Viktor gave him a look. Like Vander was telling him the sky was blue or that the river was too far away.

“I know dad, I love you too,” Viktor answered, unmoored about his question or the answer. He didn’t even ask for a name, Vander realized, and he hadn’t given him one, but Viktor was gone before he could muster the courage to speak it.

He sighed heavily, feeling way older than he was. Looking at Silco’s unoccupied space. Wondering if maybe, he ever thought about them wherever it was that he was.

[piowasthere]

Ok, I'll say this for the first and hopefully only time.

(I know it's long, but it's quite important, so please read.)

If you ask me to draw anything in a form of a request (but also applies to trades or even commissions in a way)

I am not obligated to do it. If I do decide to do so, it's because I have the time, strengths, and will I am kind enough to do it for you. I do not. Owe you. Shit.

If I say I'll be willing to do something before discussing the details, I am 100% free to just say no if the thing you want is not something I am comfortable with.

And I do not need to give an explanation why. Most of the time I'll just go silent about it. Because I am not good with serious talk, I don't like it, I am awkward, social anxiety etc. And because I also want to try and be kind.

So if I ghost you after such a thing. You may text me again. Once. To make sure I didn't just forget, it happens. If I still go silent, that means it's not happening. Give up.

Weird shit includes oversexualizing characters or putting them in weird scenarios.

Sure, I do some questionable shit, but I don't usually go outside of suggestive or just thirst traps if I feel like it. I don't do explicit NSFW. (in a sexual sense, I use curse words and enjoy some heavy gore quite often, but those are not the focus of this.)

Or weird kinks or somethin'. No kink shaming. Just don't ask me to make shit I don't like. I think it's that simple. If You're aware, what you are going to ask for is questionable - make sure the artist you're asking is ok with that - and if you won't find anything about it - don't. At the very least, ask about their boundaries. Don't just slap them with that.

I legit am traumatized by some shit some people asked me to do. And I am not easy to get a reaction from.

It's ok to ask me for stuff I've done already - take for the example the 'Solar's hips' joke I have going on. Some people would probably consider it weird in some way, but it's just harmless simping and poking fun at a character that canonically has been called out for being a twink

It's a small gag I have going on with some people I know on Tumblr

if I was uncomfortable with it, I would not take it as far as I did. I think it's funny, and I do enjoy drawing that candy corn, so it's win-win for everyone.

This also comes down to me drawing characters suggestively only if I myself find them attractive in some shape, way or form. I find it funny or there's other context behind it.

Even if it's a character I like, not always will I do that to them.

I can draw shit out of Shadow, but I will not touch Tails with that. I love both of these characters, but I see them very differently. Also, Tails is literally like 8yo, but that's a completely different discussion.

When it comes to commissions - yes. You pay me to do something for you. But because of that factor - I am willing to do more and get more out of my comfort zone than if I was doing it for no profit. (still not NSFW. I mean, more character design or somethin') And the thing is discussed before payment. I will not agree to it if it makes me feel in any way I do not enjoy.

This issue appeared only on DeviantArt, thus far, and I am really happy Tumblr doesn't put me though that too. (update: I actually got one kinda weird ask there once, but it was more of a cursed thought, a laugh and that's about it)

if I ever get anything like that again and don't break my arm while trying to break the monitor, I'll just be deleting everything that person said and if they keep on pushing, I'll just block. I don't usually block people, but I am kinda tired at this point.

Apologies if it's a very long, aggressive rant but-- idfk I'm fed up with that bs.

TL;DR

don't ask any artist to draw you weird shit that might make them uncomfortable, don't act/sound demanding and behave like they owe you their work for any reason, bc in this situation you're the one begging somebody else to do work for you for free. Basically.

I had to rant.

This post goes onto both Tumblr and DA btw. DA to hopefully stop that bs and Tumblr to hopefully prevent it from happening.

[anixdraws]

Since I forgot to share this like a moron, I’ll recap my contributions. I worked on the Rowdy Runway: A TWEWY Fashion Zine as the artist who not only did the cover art (seen above) but also I did three different artworks.

The first artwork I did was for my hubby Higashizawa, repping the now defunct Sheep Heavenly (replaced with Top’ o Topo in NEO for garishly cute and saturated clothing). Each item worn by Higgy here is a piece of Sheep Heavenly clothing interpreted by me staring way too hard at the pixel clothing sprites. This one was so fun to color and I get to draw muscular men in bright cute colors??? Like hell yes!

(Also yes I had to make that Sheep Heavenly logo myself)

The second artwork I made for the zine is one of Susukichi rocking the monocrow drip! This piece was a traditional art piece I colored digitally to fit the zine. I’ve included the lineart version so you can see how much pain and suffering I mean detail I put into this one. I went with MonoCrow as a way to push myself out of my comfort zone and focus less on rendering and shading, using simple cel shading and heavy shadows to make Susy K look cool~! In the end this one turned out to be my favorite traditional art pieces.

This last one was a collab between me and a writer friend who goes by Stinkfly03 on twitter/X. They made a fic about Beat truely seeing himself as more then a Neku copycat and he cuts his hair to match his younger self. I went fully into my comfort zone with this one by relying on rendering and lighting. In this story, Beat’s physical appearance is thinner and a lot more Neku like which (I hope) I conveyed well. The fic is called “Reflecting Neku” by PetildaFan on A03 (Archive of Our Own)! Pls go check it out. It’s a super interesting character introspection on Beat that is worth the read!

Interested in the art I do? You can check out my other works or support me by checking out my linktree.

[jonathan-samuel-smith]

BoSS Dami is like the same character but rather than serious and grumpy they play up his arrogance into him being boastful and cocky and I love it. He's having so much fun in the film, he loves fighting. He's bloodthirsty in a way that makes the audience happy for him which is pretty funny. I love the way they animate his facial expressions it's so good, and I love his voice. It's a little bit serious and broody while still being arrogant and youthful it's great. Jon sounds a little too old to be ten but I like his voice other than that. I love how Jon thinks he's cool and how quickly they bond despite clashing early on. And they're so cute. So. Cute.

The colorism thing is a big problem and it's par the course for Damian, when given the full range of color options for a character of his heritage they will always choose the lightest unless they're actively fighting their subconscious racism and colorism.

I went off on a rant on DC colorists colorism under the cut this post really got away from me, but READ THIS IF YOU DRAW DAMIAN!!↓

I get that you draw what you see and if you see a lot of white and lightskinned people you end up getting good at only drawing white people, and light skin has been purposely highlighted in visual media for centuries in this country, but USE GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH GOD DAMNIT, FOLLOW POC ON SOCIAL MEDIA, HIRE POC. Go out of your damn way to learn this shit. If you can't do it good now, learn!

I went through this with homestuck, all the human characters have #00000 skin so you're free to have whatever race headcanons you want of them, but that's not actually representation. I was influenced by this style because coloring skin is hard so I just shaded it with my pencil and left it uncolored but then I realized by refusing to color the melanin in someone's skin, that's colorism. Fuck that. So I decided to learn, and mess up a lot of otherwise pretty works, because it would be worth it in the end. I'm still learning but I've learned so much already.

For example a lot of colorist societies draw pale skin far too desaturated. If you compare actual skin to the skin in anime, nearly all Asians that aren't photoshopped or wearing make up/bleaching look so much darker. Bleached paper being what we draw on and light skin being the presumed default in our culture has made white people (and others) way too comfortable doing the bare minimum in coloring skin. You don't still use the yellow crayon for blonde hair so why do you still use the very light peach/tan as the default skin tone? You're not even coloring light skin right let alone approaching properly drawing dark skin right.

I'm so fucking tired of every company doing this when I learned how to do better in middle school. Get out of your fucking comfort zone and draw diversely, or you're a coward and you're not doing anything to combat your culturally inherited racism.

Most DC artists are good at drawing 1 or 2 skin tones, maybe 3. There are so many more undertones and shades than that. I'm not counting rainbow colors. If you want Damian to be paler than his mother to reflect his mixed heritage that's totally fine! But it should be darker than Bruce's and Jon's. I've compared them and paid attention to the shadows being cast and he's really not darker than Jon and only rarely darker than Bruce because they drew Bruce especially pale.

I want you to understand that removing melanin from a character is erasure of their identity and actively harmful. There's a broad range of skin tones that the son of Talia and Bruce might have but choosing the lightest possible option is favoring white skin over dark skin, not realism. Just because you've seen more light skinned mixed kids doesn't mean there aren't darker skinned ones. The light skinned ones get more attention on social media and commercially because of social bias + algorithms + intentional racism. Most people who are colorist think that they're not racist because they're representing nonwhite people not bothering to notice that the people they represent have the most european features and light skin in their group. Yes those people are oppressed too but you're not fixing anything by only showing racially ambiguous people.

Mariner on star trek is a relevant example from animation. Both her parents have dark skin but she has much lighter skin because she's a main character. Stop it. Stop it. Don't think just because you see something highlighted a lot that it's the most common thing that's so dumb. How many mixed people do you think you see that you assume aren't mixed? There's confirmation bias at play.

I just wish I could beam this message into everyone's thick fucking skulls. Dark skin is beautiful. My number one coloring tip for any artist is this: don't be afraid to go too dark. You'll ruin the contrast and legibility and dynamic if you keep everything light and mid tones.

If you go too dark, you can filter it later.

I hate the argument "there are plenty of mixed people who dadadadada" stop. there are such a variety of people in numbers you literally cannot fathom with your human brain. You cannot picture all of the people that look exactly like whatever it is you're saying is more uncommon. Race is made the fuck up but its impact and cultural significance is real as hell. Genetics are so fucking diverse. I know a biologically related pair of siblings, one super tall dark skinned black dude and one super short freckled white girl, they have the same parents you cannot tell that they are related if you're thinking that mixed race children are like taking the skin tones and mixing them like paint.

Colorism is physically dangerous. People will assume that a mixed race child is being kidnapped by their parent because they so look different to them.

Damian could look the spitting image of Talia, I can tell you that with 100% certainty. He also could look the spitting image of Bruce, or Thomas Wayne, or Martha, or Ra's. All we know is that he's Arab, Chinese and white, he has black hair and green eyes, and he's short and good looking. Taking that and making the most european looking version of that guy as possible is fucking racist. I'm so serious.

If you want to do your part to combat racism and make a society where everyone can get attention and be seen as beautiful regardless of skin tone, then draw Damian with dark skin.

If you don't want to do that.... I don't understand you. Learn empathy, it will be useful to you.

[drunkewok]

Tiger Inside Chapter One

Stray Kids Mafia (Ongoing)

Masterlist

Likes, reblogs and feedback always greatly appreciated

WC: 2.6k

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Genre: Series, Enemies to lovers, non-idol AU, Mafia AU

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, drinking, swearing, violence, weapons

Please do not copy or repost my work

Remember when we were kids and the teacher would instruct us to draw whatever we wanted to be when we grew up? Boy, were all of mine wrong.

Instead of being the doctor,

the firefighter,

the astronaut,

the vet,

I’m traversing a crowded upscale lounge, delivering drinks to plastered patrons clad in designer suits as they discuss their next business merger. Something I wouldn’t highly suggest digesting beside a bottle of drained soju, but who am I to decide that.

Rather, my drawings should have been that of a scandalously dressed cocktail waitress, the click of heels echoing off of stained mahogany, eyes shallow in the shadows from nights of little sleep, and the forced smile in lieu of a groan at another poor excuse of a drunken pickup line.

My body sat propped up by my elbows on the cold surface of the bar, my eyes pointed, but unfocused, on the bottles of liquor adorning the shelf. The music and voices behind me failed to make it past my ears, a simple white noise drowned out by the mindless black screen that sat behind my eyes.

“Earth to Siu, any lights on in there?” I blinked sharply as my attention is pulled to the gentleman standing across the bar with snapping fingers, a tray littered with expertly assembled drinks placed in front of me.

“Shit, thank you” Quickly snapped back to my reality, I slipped the tray forward onto my hand and raised it to my shoulder, before finally looking up to the bartender’s eyes watching me, carefully painted with worry. “I’m good Seongho, just zoned out for a second.” I flashed him my best attempt of a smile before retreating back into the sea of patrons.

Blossom sat tucked away in a back alley, door unlisted, in the dark corners of the Gangnam Business District. Those in attendance only knowing of the location by word of mouth. It made for a simpler atmosphere in terms of customer service. Our patrons were always regulars, creating a social environment, and causing loose lips of the inebriated businessmen made far too comfortable sharing details of their personal lives beyond the front door of the establishment.

This made it that much more surprising when a glance to the door let me observe two unfamiliar faces strolling in and making their way to a booth in the back corner, much younger than the usual, older crowd. My gaze follows the two across the room, once distinctly taller than the other and both in expertly tailored suits. The tray perched upon my hand is now tucked under my arm after placement of the last drink, making my way towards the newcomers now settled in their booth. In my approach I can notice they haven’t spoken to each other at all since sitting, instead they sat silently observing those around them. A tension sat in the air as I neared their table, an uneasy feeling quickly settling into my stomach as I leaned against the end of their booth, giving my best go at a genuine smile in an attempt to slice the thick air as I spoke.

“Been a while since we’ve seen some new faces here, welcome to Blossom.” My eyes flicked between the two, trying to give them a grin, the feeling in my stomach starting to make permanent residence “My name is Siu, what can I get you two to drink tonight?” The moment Siu left my lips the two exchanged a glance before the taller of the two grabs my attention with a clearing of the throat. His hair is a crisp blonde, perfectly swept back with what looked to be enough hairspray to commit arson at just the thought of a spark. His eyes avoid mine, still glued to the peer in front of him. The second male had equally bleached hair, although shorter and much more tousled than the first’s. His cheeks were peppered with freckles, a bit of boyish charm to his appearance. I held my arms across the tray pressed to my stomach, finding at least some solace in closing in my body language just slightly through the tension.

“Two whiskeys, neat.” The first’s voice was sharp, quick and to the point. I pursed my lips with a subtle nod, clearly they weren’t going to be the talking type.

“Alrighty then, I’ll be back shortly with those.” Tucking the tray back under my arm, I settled firmly back on both feet before turning my way back towards the bar.

“Could I possibly get a water with that too? Please and thank you!” The second’s voice caught me off guard, much deeper than I initially would have expected coming from that face, especially paired with the grin that quickly adorned his cheeks. At least one of them seemed friendly. With a smile and a nod I turned back on my heels. “You don’t have to be so cold to her, Hyung.” ever so quietly I could hear him mutter to the first as I walked away. I let a quiet giggle leave my lips, go figure the younger was the more polite one, but even taking to scolding his older was going to be entertaining to me.

“New blood?” Seongho nodded to the two in the corner before glancing back to me with a raised brow.

“Yeah, interesting characters for sure. Not the usual crowd.” I set the tray to the counter, glancing back over my shoulder and catching the eye of the older of the two burning into my skin. I quickly swiveled back to Seongho, with wide eyes. “Alrighty then, we got a watcher, add that to the list.” Our exchanged laughter at the two muffled by the start of a new vocals from the stage where the live artist settled in front of the mic with a fresh trot song. “They want two whiskeys, neat. Oh, and a water too” Seongho made haste pulling a bottle from the shelf behind him, filling two rocks glasses and placing them onto the tray with a grin and a wink.

“Good luck out there, don’t let ‘em eat you alive.” He quickly added a water bottle before shooing me off into the crowd once more, the rest of the night falling into the same monotonous pattern as always.

The two started to frequent the lounge every night, and each night turned into weeks, then quickly months. Slowly but surely I was able to chip away at the icy exterior of the older. He finally began to speak to me in full sentences, and dare I say I’ve gotten some laughter out of him on a couple occasions. I definitely spent more time focusing on him, determined to get him out of his hard shell. Eventually they shared their names, finally getting to put Hyunjin and Felix to their faces. Without fail they always showed up in their crisp suits, never a thread out of place and ties never loosened, their order always two whiskey neats and a water for Felix. Seongho insisted that they never showed up when I wasn’t working, but I kept assuring him that they were probably just sneaking in under the radar as usual and being assisted back in the corner unnoticed.

The night already wasn’t playing out smoothly for me, missing my bus adding time to my already long commute and surely setting me up for a late clock in. I made my way quickly out to the floor, finding Seongho behind the bar as I let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m so glad you’re working tonight, everything has been going wrong and it’s nice to see your face here.” I began to grab a tray and prepare it in front of me as Seongho immediately set two whiskeys and a water onto it.

“Your boys are already here, been waiting for you in the usual booth.” I glanced over my shoulder to see Felix sitting facing the bar, the spot usually occupied by Hyunjin, as he gave me a small wave and soft smile. I turned back to Seongho, with a sigh. “Yeongja tried greeting them and asking their order, but they just told her they’ll happily wait for you to get here.” With a groan I started to lift the tray onto my hand.

“So I’m the only one allowed to serve them? They’re choosing favorites now?”

“Siu, you’re always the only one serving them.” Seongho leaned against his hands on the bar and glanced back to the booth. “This is just the first time they explicitly mentioned you. Maybe one of ‘em has a little crush you never know.” He quickly clapped his hands together with a mischievous grin. “Oh my god, maybe you can finally get a date.” I swear my eyes rolled back so fast that if they had any more force behind it they would’ve popped directly out of my skull.

“You’re very funny, Seongho.” Balancing the tray upon my hand I maneuvered through the crowd to the back corner where Hyunjin and Felix sat, in a tense silence just like the first day they came. Setting the glasses down, I grinned at the two.

“My apologies for my late arrival tonight, one of our other waitresses would have been glad to serve you so you two weren’t waiting on me” My smile wasn’t reciprocated from either of the boys, that original unsettling feeling back in my stomach. This felt like a weird case of deja vu.

“You had us worried there for a second.” Hyunjin took a sip from his glass, staring forward at the table, his cold demeanor clearly back. “We thought you weren’t going to show tonight.”

“Oh no I’ll always be here, just ran into some hiccups that made me a bit late.” My forced smile was surely becoming more evidently fake as I tried to keep the conversation going. Even Felix has a bit of chill to him tonight, the two exchanged a glance before Felix finally looks up to me with a strained smile.

“Well don’t let us keep you, we know you’re probably behind schedule now and have a lot on your plate.” With a smile and slight bow I thanked the younger before continuing to make my rounds around the floor, a full house of patrons making use of their Friday night.

Thankfully the night seemed to progress fast and smoothly, at least my shift was going on without a hitch. Although I realized time had escaped me and I hadn’t had the chance to check in with Hyunjin and Felix for a while, but as I glanced over to their booth I found it empty. A twinge of disappointment settled in my chest at not being able to bid them goodbye, but I knew they’d be back during my next shift and I could once again apologize to them for letting time get the best of me.

Seongho and I slipped our coats on, the night finally coming to an end. He flicked the lights off behind us as we exited into the late night air before turning around and securely locking the door behind us and making our way down the alley to the main street.

“Are you in tomorrow?” Seongho’s voice finally broke the silence as we reached the sidewalk before parting ways.

“No, thankfully I can rest tomorrow, I’m exhausted.” I stretched my arms back, feeling the pull in my muscles before glancing back to Seongho. “Get home safe, alright?”

“You too, Siu. Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe.” Seongho patted my arm before making his way up the street as I turned the opposite way and started my own trek home.

I’ll be first to say that I know walking home at such an hour alone is never my best choice, but it had a calming nature to it within the empty streets. Only the occasional passing car and very few other pedestrians littering the streets. It provided me with the much needed calm down period after my shifts, and I wouldn’t trade those walks for the world.

Yet tonight proved itself different, a looming anxiety was firm in my bones that my walk wasn’t as lonely as usual, but could never pinpoint the reasoning for the feeling. No one was in sight, and each time I turned around to check, no one was behind me. I contemplated trying to catch a bus for the remainder of my commute, but instead of feeling like a sitting duck at a bus station I opted for adding a bit of pep to my step and speeding up my steps.

A wave of relief washed over me as I finally reached the doors of my apartment building, slipping in as fast as I could and ensuring the door was firmly shut behind me before making my way towards the elevators. The building was quiet as ever at these hours, not a voice or peep to be heard. There was nothing I was looking forward to more than removing my makeup and crawling into bed under my warm covers and allowing myself to drift into slumber. A warm shower was in the plan as well, my muscles felt stiff and needed some form of relaxation.

Finally settled into pajamas, wet hair, and tea in hand I slipped under the blankets, immediate comfort taking over me as the hot liquid made its way through my chest like the roots of a tree. I flicked on the tv, searching for a documentary to put on for a quiet lull of a voice to assist in my sleep before settling my head onto the pillow and letting my eyelids grow heavy.

The morning sun was the first thing to wake me up, the absence of a screaming alarm giving some comfort to my warm morning. Sitting up, I attempted to blink the sleep away from my eyes, the morning fog starting to clear from my head with a yawn.

My slippers dragged across the floor as I shuffled into the kitchen, in dire need of a cup of morning coffee. After prepping the coffee maker, I leaned against the counter and crossed my robe tighter across my body in an attempt to hold in any warmth before the heater could finally kick on and warm the apartment.

The ding of a complete coffee cycle alerted me to my prepared drink. Sipping from my mug, I leaned against the counter again, waiting for the caffeine to make its way into my veins. I scanned the apartment from my spot, making a mental note of my to-do list needing to be completed throughout my day. My eyes fell on my front door next, more specifically a white envelope on the floor sitting in front of it.

“What the fuck…” I set down my mug and made my way towards it. Surely this wasn’t there when I got home last night, I would have noticed it when I took my shoes off. Its positioning looking like it had been slipped under my door in the night. Bending down to pick it up, I slowly broke the seal of it and began to unfold the paper sitting inside, the name on the sheet quickly making my stomach drop and all source of breath leave my body.

Y/n.

We need to have a talk.

East bank of the Tancheon bridge, 9pm.

- Felix.

Next Chapter

[princessmacedon]

{ happy anniversary!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together. Template courtesy of Neffi! 💕

Name: Red, more commonly nicknamed Reddo

Pronouns: they/them preferred, she/he OK!

Birthday (no year): December 28th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? moved to kentucky when I was young, and for sake of ease i use EST (TOAST)! i live near a timezone line, so i get to be flexible like that >vo)v HAHA

How long is your roleplay experience? with a few on and off breaks, roughly 15 years? i forgot about a period of my life where i 'moderated' (read: was the most active user on) a warrior cats RP site; my first foray into rp proper was in pokemon rp on tumblr, my first muse was lyra but i didnt have an internet name until i picked up and settled into writing (you'll never guess who)

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? kind of half answered this above oops, but with warrior cats i genuinely dont remember? i probably just googled warrior cats and wound up there HAHA. for pokemon...... honestly probably the same thing

How were you introduced to TOA? key had mentioned it to me in passing a few times, so i knew she was there, but it wasn't until my friend zyra mentioned it to me and suggested we write macedon siblings together again that i actually joined, hahaha

Do you have any pets? i do! i adopted a ?? year old dog from the shelter about six years ago, so now he's x+6 years old :] pretty sure he's some kind of border collie mix, but not certain! his name is tobin, but he'll answer as long as you say 'ob'. he's a sillyhead

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) it used to be winter because i love the snow! but as i get older and more harrowed by weather conditions, i appreciate how normal and not-trying-to-kill-me autum is HAHA

What is your IRL occupation? (finger guns) figuring it out

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? drawing was my first love! i like reading, especially comics, and writing; i like video games and immersing myself in stories, and have passing interests in things that i don't commit to trying out (like resin, charms, etc etc)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? FFXIV, mainly; genshin impact and hsr; various farming-ish sims (story of seasons + old harvest moon, stardew valley, rune factory, currently fields of mistria); to a lesser extent dragon age, ace attorney, various VNs / otome / rhythm games, pokemon until roughly scarlet/violet era and then my wallet couldnt keep up with it HSDFSGVSD

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: as a kid it waffled between fire / dark, but not sure i have a dead set favorite type anymore. favorite pokemon still lucario and appletun for sure though!

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! (Optional bonus challenge: if you filled this out last year, try not to repeat what you said back then!) - i love christmas and thinking about gift giving! when i was in school my christmas spreadsheet hit like, 50 names HAHA nooooo way do i have that energy anymore, though - i'm reasonably fond of baking and also reasonably terrible at it! something always goes wrong but usually (usually) stuff comes out pretty tasty in the end. except for that time i set my oven on fire

How did you get into Fire Emblem? my friends were talking about how much fun they were having with the new game at the time, awakening! it looked fun so i decided to try it out

What Fire Emblem games have you played? - Beaten: Genealogy, Blazing Blade (FE7 if youre like me and still cant remember which one is which), Shadow Dragon & New Mystery, Awakening, Fates (Conquest + Birthright), Three Houses (Blue Lions) - Started: Binding Blade (FE6), Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance (FE9), Fates (Revelation), Shadows of Valentia, Three Houses (Black Eagles & Golden Deer), Engage

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: Awakening -- still Awakening! possibly tied with 3H, though. i really enjoy games where i can peacefully level grind

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! vaguely ordered, it's: Wolf, Maria, Cordelia, Seliph, Katarina...? if you think you're seeing a trend you're probably right, hahaha ^^ writing a character is an expression of love for me, so inevitably my muses climb higher and higher on my list over time

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! the clearest one i can remember is wolf, because when i was playing fe11 i was passively using him because he was pretty, and then he got 7 crits in a row and i was like :pika:

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳i'm weak toward green haired women AHSJASFDSF but actual game crushes, hmm... not sure!

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: chrom -> still chrom! - Fates: takumi -> hmm... silas or flora? - Three Houses: dimitri -> still dimitri, except now he's duking it out with yuri - Engage: i have the ring in my pocket as we speak, suffering from the burden of choice... probably diamant though?

Favorite Fire Emblem class? whatever class my blorbos thrive in

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? in all likelihood i'm a villager with just absolutely baffling AI. not entirely stupid, but you cant in good conscience say it's smart either HAHA as a playable unit though, i might be a recruit-type? i could do well if you help me grow, otherwise i'm just this scruffy shitty thing tucked into your pocket. middling-high skill growth, paper defense, and you wish you knew what my speed growth was because i don't (probably fast as a mage but realistically NOT as anything physical)

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran) my heart says blue lions, but if i'm just some guy (unaffiliated civilian) i won't be surprised

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? - Boons: Reason - Banes: Authority, Gauntlets - Budding Talent: Flying

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon) hmm... probably either Firene or Lythos! i'm too much of a weenie to be from brodia HAHA

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?) toah, like noah! to all my xiv gamers out there this definitely applies to job shorthands too. durg. dirk. whum blum sidge. rurpur and rogg...

Current TOA muses: Maria & Katarina

Past TOA muses? Cordelia my beloved

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Maria! unless something unprecedented happens, i don't see that changing. writing her, her want and determination to love and find wonder in the world, to spread and be joy -- it just puts me in a good place! it's really, genuinely helped me a lot, even if her extroversion is exhausting to my introvert ass sometimes HAHA

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) uhhh... i definitely tend toward characters who are in some regard defined by a form of love or strong emotion, romantic though it need not be -- people who have some sort of powerful, aching tenderness in their heart. i've not really done as much as i've wanted in terms of bringing that out of them, but it's definitely something that draws me in to a character in the first place!

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? ooh, there are lots of characters i like who have a brusque edge or manner, who might be harsh or cold... i wish i could do that! i'd like to try, i think. and also the funny, energetic, boisterous types -- i love to see them and be around them, but i definitely can't pull it off hahaha

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) it's been a while since i've gone all in on this kind of scene, but i love emotional scenes and heart-to-hearts -- the sort of thing where you're communicating your feelings with everything you have and trying to reach someone else! i usually rein myself in well shy of that though, hahaha. i worry a lot about getting too lost in the sauce and derailing a conversation/thread, or making it all about what my muse/what they want to communicate.

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? for katarina, i'd love for her to make some friends! she's her own worst enemy in this regard, separating herself from friends/friendships whether consciously or subconsciously. for maria... well, i'd love for her to have a real heart to heart with someone!

Favorite TOA-related memories? to this day i miss and adore annie's frederick! his dynamic with my cordelia at the time was so much fun to write and to talk about and we had such thoughts for how their relationship would evolve -- it's one of the most interesting and endearing relationships i've had the pleasure of writing! on a sillier note, i often think about leif hauling ass after kanoesa's lewyn HAHA

Present or past tense? it used to be past tense, but i think toa's successfully converted me to defaulting to present hahaha ^^;; consciously at least, i try to match whatever my partner does!

Normal size text, small text, no preference? it doesn't matter to me, but i do hate fighting tumblr to keep all of the small text small.

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 the wolf app/blog i've been refining on and off for the better part of three years is no secret HAHA, but i've seriously contemplated writing a few other characters! radd and boucheron, to name a couple. i get super attached to my characters though, so it's a bit tricky

[docholligay]

Foreign Films to Expand Into

I saw a post regarding the writer’s strike that suggested Americans maybe make the effort of watching a foreign film, and while I agree, I didn’t think its tone was super helpful. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the queen of “Pull yourself out of a rut!!” but I don’t think “Americans are so fucking stupid they don’t realize other countries make movies” is actually trying to help anyone, so much as add to the idea that I guess the rest of the world is being forced to watch Captain America at gunpoint. 

But I DO want Americans to watch foreign films, in the same way that I want them to watch indie films, and I want people of all nations and stripes to expand their understanding of what they’re used to, to push themselves into something else they might like. I think my family would say that it’s fair to call me a person who is open to experience. I love to try things! That’s why I have the book draw, that’s why I go see movies I’m not sure about, that’s why I actively seek out foods I’ve never tried. You deserve to make your life interesting, to be challenged, to provide enrichment in your enclosure. You are worth the effort of a richly textured life! And movies are often a pretty cheap way to go about stepping outside of your comfort zone. I can’t wait to hear what you thought of any of these! 

Obviously, if you are not American, one  of these may not be foreign to you. Yes, I know that. 

I don’t hold out that all of these are hidden gems--some of them are, or were, extremely popular movies. Many of them won awards. But I do hold out that these are some of my favorites, and I would love to share them with you. I did, however, try to avoid anything that I thought already got a lot of play on tumblr: I don’t need to tell anyone here to watch Parasite, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, or any given Ghibili movie (Though you should watch Grave of the Fireflies--it’s my favorite). 

Pan’s Labyrinth (Mexico and Spain): This is my favorite foreign film of all time and I am breaking my, “I’m not putting any movie on here I don’t need to tell you to watch” rule right away because it is in fact one of my favorite movies of all time, American or foreign. It is a lush story about fantasy, facism, courage, and the horror of childhood. Warning: This movie is very very intense. Do not be fooled by the fact that Del Toro also does like fucking…Hellboy. He also can make very serious, very good movies, and he does not shy away from the brutality of the Spanish Civil War. If you liked Labyrinth but you’re fully grown now and I want a story about fantasy bargains for the adult crowd, this is for you. 

The Orphanage (Spain): I love Spanish horror, and so it was really, really difficult to only pick one. But this has been one of my favorites for years, a classic Spanish slow burn that deals with the long shadow of childhood and the line between the supernatural and the natural. If you like pensive horror movies like The VVitch, I really think you should give this one a try. 

Hero (China): I know a lot of y’all are into wuxia now, but back when this came out it wasn’t a thing I had ever heard of*. Hero is, as the title might imply, a sweeping historical epic with fantastic fight scenes and gorgeous cinematography. If you enjoy stories told in multiple interpretations, high-flying wire work, and with some ideas about war, peace, and truth that tempt without asking too much of you, you’ll love this. 

Cold War (Poland): Listen, I love Cuarón, Mexican and Spanish movies absolutely dominate my list of foreign films I’ve watched, but I genuinely thought Cold War deserved the edge over Roma for the Oscar that year. It’s a fairly short movie for the times, coming in at less than 90 minutes, and it wastes not even one second of that film time. Cold War is a bittersweet love story not only with two people toward each other, but feels deeply critical of Poland while recognizing the impossibility of unbraiding yourself from it. If you love impossible, bittersweet, happily never after love stories with stark and striking cinematography, you’ll adore Cold War. 

Tigers Are Not Afraid (Mexico): I adore an unflinching take on childhood, and this movie is absolutely that. It essentially asks, “How do children survive in a world full of trauma?” and the answer is that sometimes, they don’t. This movie is a little frenetic, admittedly, but the ways fantasy and imagination is woven into a group of street children orphaned by the cartels is something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since I first saw it, and I think the final shot is pitch perfect. If you liked Pan’s Labyrinth this is required viewing, as I think it shares a lot of themes. 

The African Doctor (France): “Holligay, if you put another fucking downer movie in this list I am going to BEAT YOUR ASS” Okay, okay, we’re going to ignore my general predilections and everything from here on down is fairly life-affirming or comedic or easy. This is about a little village in France in the 1970s that gets an African doctor. It’s sweet, and funny, and you come away from it feeling good. Also I still laugh every time Seyolo responds to the fact that most of the villagers had never seen a black person with: “So what? Now they will.” If you like sweet fish out of water stories with nice endings, this is for you. 

Om Shanti Om (India): I maintain that this is the best movie to watch if you’re brand new to Bollywood. It mostly avoid the worst of its excesses while delighting in all of its strengths. It is a genuinely fun film with fantastic songs, and a shockingly together storyline for a Bollywood movie (affectionate). I’ve actually done a full review of this one, but in the short version: If you loved Moulin Rouge and wanted more of that mix of tragedy and silliness on a operatic level, I think you’ll be in for a treat. 

The Warrior’s Way (South Korea and New Zealand): Okay, this movie is not good, and also it manages to be bad. But it’s in English, so if you’ve been sitting there like my dad going, ‘I am not gonna read a movie” well, here you go. If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I want to watch a Western, but I wish it were actually a HK style cheesy action movie” BOY HOWDY AM I HERE FOR YOU. I watched this one insanely drunk and still managed to be like, “wow! This is so bad! Maximum valid!” If you thought RRR** was good, but too deep, you will have the BEST time with The Warrior’s Way. 

Anyway, this is, of course, an incomplete list, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten something I love, since this was just made off the cuff. I would love to hear if you watch or like any of these, and also, if, looking at this list, you have a recommendation for me, let me know! There are so so many fucking movies out there, and so many fall through the cracks. 

I’m thinking about doing another one of these on ��Indie movies you might have missed” and also “Movies that were made before you enfants were born” (30+ years) so let me know if anything like that is interesting! Or, if there’s a category you think I might know about you’re into, let me know also.

*I actually have a lot of emotional attachment to Hero, as I have a very distinct memory of standing in the Hastings, in front of the small foreign-film section, and it being the first foreign film I picked up. I was, I think, sixteen, and I had decided that I was going to be worldly, and interesting, and cultured, and so I took a deep dive into cooking from other cultures, and watching foreign films, and buying old art history textbooks, reading classics, and listening to opera, and formal manners. Basically becoming the person I wished I were, that poised Grace Kelly type, even if I was born to the drone of the grasshoppers on the wind. To quote Reba Macintire, “You know I mighta been born just plain white trash, but Fancy was my name” and all that. And this movie was a distinct part of that, in that it was the first, in a long line of me trying to be a more well-rounded and interesting person. 

**RRR (India): Actually on that note, watch RRR. It’s a fantastically fun Indian action film that I keep meaning to watch again because I got a little too drunk for drinking on an emopty stomach the first time I saw it, so it might actually also be good, but I do remember enjoying the shit out of it and there is a scene that has such Fareeha vibes to me.

[dingochef]

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x You (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (MDNI 18+ Only), Angst with a Happy Ending, Stalking, P in V, oral (female and male receiving), Semi-public sex, light spanking,

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary:

Another day, another stupid man to deal with. You run into a familiar face when you go to meet up with the face and person that's been on your mind all day.

Masterlist

Chapter 4

Chapter 5: Nancy Drew and the Instagram Account

You start your Sunday early to beat the sun and the heat. Your cycling group is meeting up on the San Diego waterfront just as the sun rises. The day is clear and just a bit crisp. You revel in the chill now as it will heat up soon, especially with the hilly route on deck for today. The ride starts easily with the Bay Shore Bikeway up to La Jolla then it heats up with a trip to the top of Mount Soledad, the ride down is fast enough that you can feel the moisture in your eyes being wicked away by the arid dry air. The rest of the course skirts around the eastern edges and suburbs of San Diego. After a few stops for water and some snacks to keep you energized, the ride winds down at about 2 pm where you started. You start packing away some of your gear and sit to change your shoes to get on the ferry. As you're tying the laces on your shoes, a shadow looms over you.

“Elsa, how’s it going?”

Bill asks. Of course it’s Bill, he does this every time the group meets.

“I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me tonight, like a date?”

Bill is nice, but he’s also a good 20 years older than you and more like your father than is comfortable in the dating scene.

“Sorry Bill, answer’s still the same, no. Besides I have plans tonight,” the thought of Jake brings an unconscious smile to your lips.

“Come on, Elsa, you’ve got to give in sometime, I’m just trying to be a nice guy. It’s just one date, I’ll cook you dinner at my house, a little wine, it’ll be a nice night. You gotta say yes.”

You sigh, knowing that what is going to come out your mouth next is going to make the next meet up the group awkward as fuck, but you can deal with akward.

“Bill, how many times have you asked me out?”

He shrugs,

“A lot, I guess.”

“And I always say no. What makes you keep asking when you get the same answer? That’s the literal definition of insanity.”

“I figure persistence pays off and besides I’m a nice guy, give me a chance.”

“Bill, the answer today, tomorrow, and every time in the future is going to be no. N. O. I don’t want to date some overbearing guy who has no respect for what I say and what boundaries I draw. Being a “nice guy” doesn’t entitle you to a date.”

By this time others in the cycling group are starting to notice the exchange. Millie, who is a retired Navy Captain, steps over to see what’s going on.

“Jeez, Elsa, you don’t have to be such a bitch about it.”

“Bill, if you think this is me being a bitch, buckle up buttercup, you haven’t seen anything yet. I can’t help that your sense of language comprehension and pattern recognition is that of a four-year old, you sad old man. No means no. We’re done here.”

You start to walk your bike towards the ferry terminal and Millie runs over to catch up.

“You okay?” she asks, giving you a side hug.

“Yeah, just tired of dealing with Bill’s bullshit week after week. I just want to come ride and hang out with friends. Not ward off old dudes trying to get into my pants.”

“We’ll take care of it, Bill’s out of the group, easy peasy,”

Millie says. Millie is one of the founding members of the cycling group and part of a kick-ass group of older retired military women who deal with exactly zero shit from anyone.

“Thanks, Millie, I appreciate that. I gave him so many outs, but he kept coming back into the danger zone.”

She shrugs,

“Some people are just dumb. You did good back there. Do you need anyone to see you home in case he gets weird about it?”

“No, keep him occupied for about 15 minutes while I get on the ferry and I’ll be good.”

You give Millie a hug and wave goodbye as you get on your bike to ride the last little distance to the ferry. When you get home you jump into the shower to rinse all of the day’s gross parts off, real and metaphorical.

As you're getting out of the shower you hear your phone ding:

Lydia: So you and Hangman, becoming a thing? A baseball game (glad you found a dork that likes baseball) and dinner at what I know is your favorite restaurant (the tapas place in the Gaslamp Quarter.) It's like you’re putting your best moves on him.

You: I'm not putting my moves on him, you and I both know I have exactly zero moves. He offered up the baseball game as amends for being a jackass the other night at the bar. I was hungry after the game so I invited him along.

Lydia: Liar. Liar. Pants on fire! 🔥 You asked him on the dinner date. I pressed him for the deets when he mentioned going to the Padres game that I saw on your Instagram. And he crumbled like a lovesick fool. Between asking for your number and him coming back practically skipping and whistling I figured it out.

You: Alright, Nancy Drew, Girl Detective you got it right. It was Colonel Mustard in the library with a wrench.

Lydia: What are you even talking about?

You: How have you never played a game of Clue?

You: Nevermind.

Lydia: So…..how was he in the sack? These Navy guys are fucking built.

You: We only made it to my porch.

Lydia: Ooh, outdoor sex. Adventurous.

You: Not that! We just had some really nice kissing that ventured into a bit of heavy petting. And then I said good night.

Lydia: Right. And you have plans with him tonight. You like like him!

You: How did you know about that?

Lydia: The walls here are hilariously thin. You can hear everything that happens here.

You: So Jake mentioned. How was that mustache ride?

Lydia: De-fucking-lightful. 10/10 would highly recommend.

You: I'll remember that yelp review when I'm in search of a mustache ride which will be…..never. Seriously, what's up with the stache? Did he lose a bet?

Lydia: Didn't come (heh heh) up in conversation.

You: You are the worst. Talk to you later, remember to keep hydrated with all the sexing you’re doing.

Lydia: Smooches & Byeeee!

You shake your head at the conversation you just had with Lydia. Before you put your phone down you text Jake to set up the now infamous drink date tonight.

You: So, we still on for drinks tonight? How does 7 at the Hard Deck sound?

You don’t expect a reply right away and put your phone on the charger and head over to the couch with a giant jug of water and make plans to watch some TV and chill for the rest of the afternoon. Somewhere, around an hour later when you've already watched two documentaries on WWII aircraft your phone dings. In what can be described as an all out sprint you rush to your phone.

Jake: That sounds like a date. See you there. Maybe this time I'll get to buy you more than one drink, (my turn.)

You: See you then.

It's about 4 pm now, which gives you enough time to whip up a nice curry for dinner and still have time to gussy up for your date. This is actually date date.

Getting ready to go out has become more of a challenge than you anticipated. You've pulled out every dress you own and rejected each one twice. You're looking for that "Oh just drinks, you just threw on whatever to come here." Your goal is effortless grace, not "I totally overthinked every aspect of my appearance and maybe had a slight panic attack." In frustration you call Lydia, breathlessly shouting out as soon as she answers,

"You actually have fashion sense, what should I wear?"

The cackle comes out of the phone speaker first and then her reply,

"Just drinks, riiight. You’re actually trying to impress him aren't you? This is adorable, Elsa has found someone to melt her frozen heart or other parts."

She snorts at her own terrible joke and you can practically hear her eyebrows rising up and down on her forehead.

"Don't overthink it like you usually do. Wear the magenta dress with the nice flowy skirt. It'll be easy to get off later."

There's a muffled male voice in the background saying something like "Come back to bed, baby."

"Are you still at Rooster's? How are you not chafed or unable to walk?"

"No, we actually ventured out for some beach time and came back to mine, a whole lot more privacy. By the way, I might have heard a certain someone moaning another person's name last night when he presumably was taking care of his blue balls courtesy of you. Well, have fun, do something I would do, Byeeee!"

You, for some reason, follow Lydia's advice and wear the suggested dress. Wearing a bra with this dress is impossible due to the plunging back. Lydia knew exactly what she was doing when she suggested this particular dress. Scanning your underwear drawer you spot a pair of black lace boy shorts that you know make your ass look really good. After setting a light curl into your dark brown, almost black hair, you leave it down to cascade down your shoulders and back. Minimal make-up, you're always going for the natural look, but for some reason you pick a darker magenta shade of lipstick that complements the dress. You grab a light sweater and your purse and you're out the door. The walk over to the Hard Deck is nice and cool and calming. The butterflies in your stomach start to flutter as you approach the door and it hits you that you actually want to impress him tonight. It's an exhilarating and terrifying concept at the same time, what are you getting yourself into?

You don't really have time to delve into your brain after that idea as I've arrived at the Hard Deck. You push open the door and pull your sweater off. Despite it being a Sunday night the place is pleasantly buzzing with a steady hum of voices and glasses clinking together and onto tabletops around the bar. You scan the crowd and don't spot Jake anywhere so you make your way up to the bar. At the bar there's is a familiar bomber jacket and black head of hair.

"As I live and breathe, it's Maverick. And in one piece,"

You say as you sit on the open bar stool next to him. He's halfway through a swig of beer when he turns and makes the connection that it’s you sitting next to him.

"Elsa! What brings you to this place?"

"Meeting a friend for a drink."

Penny comes over and asks,

"The usual?"

You nod yes. Maverick says,

“Put that on my tab, I owe this gal a drink for stepping in as my temporary guardian angel."

Penny looks a bit confused at the statement but shrugs and goes to make your drink.

"I should be asking you the same thing, what brings you down to North Island? I thought you were just going to carry on at the Skunk Works."

He takes a swig of his beer and shrugs, "The usual pissed off an Admiral. They weren't overly impressed with me breaking "the project" apart." He uses air quotes to reference the Darkstar hypersonic stealth jet you were both working on and he was serving as the test pilot.

"I'm teaching at Top Gun for a few weeks. While the Navy decides your fate for me."

He leans over to whisper,

"Thank you for saving my life, there's no other reason I'm alive other than your life pod."

"How did it perform?" you ask quietly.

"Like riding a mattress down and landing on a marshmallow, so perfectly. Next time can you get it to drop me off near civilization rather in the middle of an orange grove near Fresno?"

You laugh,

"Jeez, so needy, not only do I save your life and give you a gentle ride back to earth, you want door to door service. I'll see what I can do."

You glance over to the door to see Jake coming through the door; he instantly scans the crowd and locks in on you. You catch his eyes and then turn back to Maverick and say,

"I'd love to get together to pick your brain on other impressions on "the project". Thanks for the drink. I’m glad you’re alive."

You lean in to hug Maverick.

Your drink has appeared on the bar and by the time Jake has jostled his way through the crowd to the bar you can see that the expression on his face has turned from that panty dropper smile to confusion and a bit of jealousy.

He swaggers up to the bar and gives you a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Both Maverick and Jake are looking at each other confused and startled.

"Hey, Captain, didn't think you'd be back here after the other night." Jake says with that patented smirk.

Maverick winks and says,

"I like the company and the scenery."

He nods his head towards Penny. You cock your head with a questioning look. Maverick sheepishly replies,

"We have a complicated…history.".

Jake asks, his signature smirk in full force,

"How do you know Elsa or are you hitting on women who are half your age and out of your league, now?"

Chapter 6

@mayhemmanaged

@callmemana

@dempy

@hangmanscoming

@lanie-k

@callsign-viper

@senjoritanana

[kafus]

do you have any opinions on liko's visual design

i was trying to sit on this ask until i felt up to doodling a little for it but i've decided to answer it anyway lmao

i am not really a character designer despite being an artist so take me with a grain of salt but i REALLY like liko's design and i think it's really strong. her clothes are strong/bold colors that are instantly recognizable and separate out her design well in pretty much any pose or angle you put her in. the silly plume? spike? tail? on her hair gives her a really strong silhouette, especially when combined with the bit of her bangs sticking out, like even if she were a complete shadow she'd be recognizable immediately. and i like how the hair spikes and the blue on the underside of her hair is genetic and you can see the throughline between her and her relatives on her mom's side really easily thru their hair lmao

her face is sort of generically Big Round Eyes but that actually does her well cause they're able to play with her facial expressions a lot without feeling like it's breaking the design. i don't have a ton of examples on hand at this very moment but here's a couple from a convo i was having w my qpp last night lol

and in general even slight changes to her eye shape/eyebrows convey a lot of emotion because of how much space there is.

on a more biased note liko is just REALLY FUN TO DRAW? the only thing i get a little stuck on sometimes is the collar of her jacket. but like. liko is just seriously so fun to draw. her hair especially. it's right in my comfort zone. feels effortless. and having the blue peak out under her hair is such an easy shortcut to giving her hair volume. godtier design for me specifically to draw IT'S SO FUN

there's definitely more i could say but i'll leave it here LMAO

[vanitatorium]

Review: Chapter 2

Worked 2 months: 07. 09 ~ 09. 09, 2024

Overall: 151 panels

Quality got higher, i really love depicting the hall of shadows, i haven't known, and i've drawn historical figures based on some references. With them i could do time-traveling further. I should practice drawing perspectives, getting out of comfort zone.

But i feel my story isn't interesting to the new readers. It feels like i'm doing an infodump (like the autistic way), not giving some interesting scene for readers and off to some genre??? 70% of readers only read Episode 1. That means i haven't use some hooks for horror/thriller/mystery readers. (And still Tapas haven't let me in the staff's pick. Sad but it would take times.)

Well, because i've only drawn fanarts, so i don't know what kind of subject, topic would attract the fans of certain genre — I'm learning.

Only some fans i've met in other fandom love it. I've got plenty of fanarts had a fandom. (I feel amused as people make something like meme and discuss about characters) I hope i could make my people more.

While i'm working i've began to make reels per day, some fanarts, but i don't know it would help me. At least reels help me to reach some new people... Fanarts help me to find new people, reels too, especially tutorials , trends and questions about drawing. As a director-writer-producer-marketer i should research amounts of target audiences more 👁️

Anyway, an architecture concept of Vanitatorium is almost shaped. I'm working on it...

Fortunetelling said i'm in depression in this month, but if i believe in my passion and go on my way not being rush myself, after 5 months i'll get my reward. Should i believe it?! But there's no way and hope, so i should believe 🥶

Next chapter will be about my characters because they've just reacted, not telling who they are, but finally, i could tell who they are. I love them so much. I hope people love them.

I believe that Vanitatorium could change life to be better.

+ My health got worsened as i haven't gone outside in August, lost my way (But i found an important shard of Vanitatorium at least) So i'm losing weight and doing workout, eating healthy meal right now...

Should do next:

make prologue for hooking genre readers

post more reels per day (Connecting with comics)

start uploading chapters on Webtoon Canvas

draw a new cover of Vanitatorium (after researching)

dive into new chapters!

Tapas views/likes/comments result:

Link:

[aimlessarchery]

TOA Anniversary Munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

tagging: anybody/everybody!

----

Name: Maddie

Pronouns: they/she

Birthday (no year): January 12

Where are you from? What is your time zone? US East Coast, EST

Roleplay experience: probably about ~10 years on-and-off between forums, chat rp, and tumblr

----

Got any pets? two dogs! Seamus is an Australian Shepherd, and Keegan is a rescue mutt. I love them both very dearly

Favorite time of year: Fall

Some interests and things you like: drawing/painting, RPGS, video game music (listening to, finding notation of + transcribing for piano)

Some funfacts & trivia about you: i'm left-handed and an eldest sibling, which means i accidentally taught my younger sister how to play guitar hero backwards

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? oh man. childhood favorites that stick with me are Pokemon, Kingdom Hearts, and Final Fantasy. I've dipped into Tales of, though the only one I've completed is Vesperia (beloved game). Octopath Traveler 1 and 2 are both amazing. Splatoon is my favorite shooter. I've gotten lost in Pillars of Eternity for hundreds of hours. I think my fav Elder Scrolls game has become Oblivion for some reason. Sometimes I dive into sim games like Planet Zoo or Two Point Hospital for a bit. I like video games!!

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: hard to pick a type, but some of my favs are Ampharos, Ivysaur, and Furret!

----

How did you get into Fire Emblem? downloaded the Awakening demo and played it like 10 times in a row. decided that buying myself the game was going to be my first "treat yourself" purchase when i moved out for college

What Fire Emblem games have you played? completed: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, Shadows of Valentia, Three Houses (VW, CF, most of AM) actively in progress: Blazing Blade, Three Hopes, Silver Snow route of 3H started, but only barely: Gaiden, Genealogy, Shadow Dragon (DS), New Mystery of the Emblem

First Fire Emblem game: Awakening

Favorite Fire Emblem game: Tellius Duology (hard to separate them for me haha), with SOV as a strong contender as well

Any Fire Emblem crushes? ...and if I was also a little aquiver with python from lukas's performance in the SOV DLC what of it

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? - Awakening: Stahl - Fates: Azama - Three Houses: Shamir

Favorite Fire Emblem class: hmm...archers and mages, maybe. it's always satisfying when the chip damage is enough to save a front liner from retaliation, and even more satisfying when a crit or adept procs and the ranged unit is like "nah dw i got this"

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? my gut says wind mage. idk why tho besides the lack of athleticism needed for a physical class lol

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Golden Deer!

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? I have not played engage but i want a ghost ike to be my bestie...

----

How did you find TOA? Lucius was over at my house and pitched it to me one night while we were reminiscing about FERP on tumblr. pulled up the rank chart on my computer to explain it to me and everything lmao

Current TOA muses: Python and Caspar

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? Python was my first! He's definitely the one I'm most confident in, and I see him as kind of my "bedrock muse" for now.

Have you had any other TOA muses? I had Reyson for a short-ish time!

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? I think I'm still feeling out the difference between "types of characters i gravitate toward liking" and "types of characters I gravitate toward writing". I do think I feel most comfortable writing supporting characters with enough backstory for me to tease out and build up from there!

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? I love character connection. Whether it's spoken aloud or not, I like little moments where I can have my muse compare a character to someone else they know, or see each other in a different way. I also love when characters have conflicting views and motivations and have to deal with that in one way or another!

Favorite TOA-related memory: KKE Team Guard coming together for that crazy rapid-fire chat that Ree sprung on us for the finale is definitely a strong one! It was so fun seeing different characters shine throughout the conversations, and on my own end I loved having an opportunity to let Python lose his cool for once >:3

How do you pronounce TOA? each letter pronounced individually: tee-oh-ay

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day in TOA that you’d like to share? I've only got fleeting thoughts that I would have to let simmer longer, especially when I would have to let someone go to fill the slot (I have accepted that 2 is my personal limit). That said, I've got a few guys hidden behind my back on the off-chance that I feel like it's time for a change ;0

[arcstral]

ooc; TOA Anniversary Munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: Soji

Pronouns: She/her

Birthday (no year): October 14

Where are you from? What is your time zone? United States. Both my parents are from South Korea. East coast resident (EST)

Roleplay experience: A little over 13 years of roleplay experience

Got any pets? One chinchilla affectionately dubbed Souji Man and a 'Shavanese' dog (short-haired Havanese) named Happy

Favorite time of year: Autumn

Some interests and things you like: The holy trinity of cosplaying, writing, and drawing

Some fun facts & trivia about you:

— I joined TOA during the peak of Covid quarantining in 2020 when there was a huge convention dry spell. The indie roleplay scene for Fire Emblem during this time was uneventful too. Having no productive outlet for cosplaying or writing, it lead me to join my first RP group which was (jazz hands) TOA

— My zodiac animal is a rabbit

— I have hundreds upon hundreds of hours clocked on Super Smash Bros from Brawl to Ultimate. You'll never guess who I main.

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Final Fantasy XIV, Project Zomboid, Phasmophobia, Touken Ranbu, and Stardew Valley in order of frequency.

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: I like bug types; my favorite Pokemon is Scizor. While not Pokemon my favorite Digimon, Kabuterimon, is also a bug. Honorable mention goes to Greninja.

How did you get into Fire Emblem? Saw Shadow Dragon in my local Gamestop one day and didn't buy it even though it stuck out to me with its somber and less colorful boxart. Next time I saw a Fire Emblem game in the store, i.e., Awakening, I bought and played it. The rest is history.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? If we're talking start-to-end I've played and finished FE1, FE3, FE7, FE9, FE11, FE12, Awakening, SOV, 3H, and Engage. The remaining games in the series I've played to either early or mid game.

First Fire Emblem game: Awakening

Favorite Fire Emblem game: FE11 Shadow Dragon

Any Fire Emblem crushes? FE7 Rath was my first and only concrete FE crush. Marth was initially more of an aesthetic source of admiration though knowing his character better he likely exemplifies the ideal partner. Similar to Marth he's not really a crush, but right now I think a lot about Rafal, ironically less in the realm of looks or perfection and more at his attractive hot-and-cold personality.

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? - Awakening: Chrom - Fates: Kaden was my forecast - Three Houses: Dimitri - Engage: Alfred

Favorite Fire Emblem class: Dracoknight

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? Archer. My first class in FFXIV was an archer and my FE tastes will reflect that too.

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Blue Lions

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? Marth. Need me a princely ghost boyfriend I mean advisor with a good head on his shoulders.

How did you find TOA? Through Fire Emblem roleplay related tags

Current TOA muses: Marth and Rafal

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? Marth is my ride or die Fire Emblem character and that extends to him as a muse.

Have you had any other TOA muses? Besides Marth and Rafal I've also written Xane. Though there isn't a lot of data, my second muse slot historically (and presently) being reserved for dragons tickles me a lot.

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? Not really. My tastes are unexplainably versatile. I can favor the sweet and friendly golden boy type characters, or the less pristine and morally ambiguous "bad boy" types, and everything in-between. This isn't just true for TOA but also for characters from different series. My friends have a lot of trouble forecasting possible favorites for me because of it.

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? Emotions. Conflict with those emotions. Mwahahahaha

Favorite TOA-related memory: The first few months into my TOA debut when everything was bright, fresh, and new. Meeting new friends and forging bonds with other characters was super fun and I still remember who was around me during that time. Farina (written by Maxie) is the closest muse to Marth in terms of when they joined TOA and who has stayed to this day.

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day in TOA that you’d like to share? I tend to be very stable, loyal, and proactive in my delusions. If they're strong enough I pursue them, like Xane and Rafal. Rath would be among them if I ever replayed FE7 and if I determined having three muses wouldn't make my performance suffer over all.

[ariellewm]

WIP Fantasy Novel - Character Profile: Calista Auralae/Cargalyn "Shadow Ranger"

!! Note: Please do not use my character in any fanfiction or roleplay. This MC (Main Character) is very precious to me and oldest of my creations. If interested in drawing her out, please ask for permission before doing so. !!

Full Name: Calista Cargalyn Auralae

Aliases/Other Titles: Shadow Ranger, The Swift Wolf, Sis (from Luno), more TBA

Gender: Female

Race: Sapien (Human)

Age: 23

Height: 5'5 (165cm)

Eye Color: Cognac

Hair Color: Chestnut, long length usually tied up in a loose ponytail (sometimes in lagertha braids)

Skin: Fair with freckles around face and rest of body (has some scars along arms from creature encounters and one on the side of her neck that is hidden with clothing)

About/Backstory

TBA

Personality

Down-to-earth and loyal to those she is familiar with. Calista despises those that hurt close loved ones or her friends and isn't hesitant on showing her stronger protective side. She'll take the shot or cut any enemy standing in her way.

The Shadow Ranger can be stubborn at times, especially when those point out her lack of sleep as of late. Even if they are concerned for her, she still performs her duties as a ranger. With lack of hours of rest, she's always on the move, always active and aware of her surroundings. She does find meditating helpful at times, finding a quiet spot where no one can bother her.

She's an observer, keeping to herself most of the time. Calista isn't also accustomed to being around nobility or highly respected people. The ranger is still civil and resourceful if needing her assistance. When out of her comfort zone, she can be seen standing still, pacing around the room, or fidget with their hands, depending on the situation.

Abilities\Skills

Archery - A highly popular skill that almost all rangers learn. It is the skill of using a bow to shoot arrows. Sometimes Calista likes to use flaming arrows, arrows coated in poison, or speed shooting in battles or target practice.

Swordsmanship - Skilled in sword fighting in combat. Calista owns two short sword falchions used to help cut through smaller trees, bushes, or attack her enemies. She doesn't always use them.

Melee One-On-One Combat - Fist and brawn, many rangers are taught to learn how to battle without weapons. Punches and kicks can help in any situation and even defense measures. She uses this as a last resort if all her weapons are not at her disposal.

Tracking - Rangers are taught how to track all sorts of things. It could be from carts, animals, or even people that make prints on the surface. Calista is the only ranger young enough to identify any sort of creature through claw markings or footprints made on the forest floor.

Riding - Most if not all rangers learn how to ride upon dragon horse hybrids (name of creature TBA) or other creatures that can help them get to places or into battle. Calista can not only ride these creatures but also upon dragon (Luno), giving her advantage in the air. She rarely rides on Luno, however, as sometimes the dense forests are hard for him to reach to Calista.

Hiding/Spying - Calista can easily hide within the trees and dense forest surroundings blending in. Sometimes her dark clothing gives her that advantage when spying on enemies or hiding in plain sight. She is praised by Edric for her spying tactics when on a mission as well. Hence, given the title Shadow Ranger by her leader and guardian Edric Vahouse. This is also useful while hunting for game.

Wardrobe Appearance

The average-built ranger tends to wear dark earth toned colors, to better blend in with the dense forest. Black tights, dark brown boots, dark green long-sleeved or short-sleeved shirts. Her clothing is light and as a ranger, she needs to be agile and swift. Sometimes Calista wears leather gauntlets with leaf patterns. Anything brightly colored she doesn't take a liking to (so don't try to force her). It's also noted that Calista absolutely hates wearing dresses of any kind.

Hidden under her shirts she keeps a leather stringed necklace with a wooden hollow pendant with intricate leaf designs. She has never taken it off. It's the only piece of jewelry she wears and hides it from view. It's also the only piece left from her mother before she died.

Her hair is either tied up in a ponytail or down. At one point her hair was short but decided to grow it out when many of the young ranger boys picked on her for having short hair. Her childhood friend Dinah would sometimes braid her hair in lagertha braids with beads and gold/silver.

Weapons

Calista's prized weapon would be her leather recurve bow, designed with leaf and forest patterns. She also carried two short sword falchions. Both are light enough to carry during missions or travel. Calista also carries a golden dragon crystal glass dagger given to her as a gift by Edric after her trials. It's small enough to hide behind her and she can switch it out if in danger. No one is aware of the dagger since it is hidden well from sight.

Concept Art Designs of Calista

Concept Art done by Shio

Playlists

Inspired Spotify Playlists: TBA

Inspired YouTube Playlist: TBA