#only problem is I'd have to trust you with people I like despite you being willing to kill... but maybe I would if you get it's a mercy

[medicinemane]

It's just a fact that nothing I do matters or has any impact

I can prove it, and I do mean that

I wouldn't want to because I think it would bother people, but I have... endless proof

[leavemebetosleep]

Alright here's a short version of how I'd fix Bride of Discord. As a sort of mental editing exercise.

While not really a good fic for a lot of reasons, Bride of Discord actually has a lot of potential as a story. There's a lot of great imagery, and it has a lot of fic tropes I like and are fun to read. I actually would probably change less than some people would. (If your "rewrite" doesn't keep any of the original anything, it's not actually a rewrite babes)

It's just that a lot of stuff in it is maybe played from the wrong angle.

Also there's no saving the Applejack/Spike thing. That's just gross. I think you could keep a similar subplot, just change it so AJ's crushing on someone else. I like AppleDash, but RariJack would probably work the best here. Maybe in this version she's afraid to confess bc she thinks Rarity is straight since she's so femme.

As for the main couple, I think you could actually make the demanding a wife thing work, just have it play out differently.

Like, Discord is old. He spent a lot of time as a statue, and might not be up to date on modern society. Maybe instead of it being a VERY creepy request that screams "sex slavery" make his request explicitly a somewhat less creepy political marriage.

That was common back in his day, and he IS trying to make a peace treaty with Twilight. Being married to one of her people is a show of good faith, that she won't go back on her word, and he won't go back on his, as well as metaphorically uniting their kingdoms.

He doesn't care who it is, because he's not intending to fall in love with them. At best they're gonna be an extended house guest.

They can even point out that's dated and weird, but he can also counter he doesn't know how else to get a proper show of trust. He doesn't trust them with his own safety, but he does trust they won't go after one of their own.

That could also play into why he's so insistent they get married already. Fluttershy trying to avoid the marriage once she's in his kingdom makes it feel like he's being set up, and like the treaty is tenuous. Or maybe he's even suspicious that she's avoiding because the ponies don't plan to stick to their deal.

That could even factor int the climax, but I'll get there.*

Discord can be lonely, and he can still also be a little desperate for companionship, but I don't think that should be his reason for the marriage. Otherwise he could've just asked for a companion, not a wife. Plus, I feel like per-reformation Discord would be in denial about being lonely. I think he'd only start to realize how much he's been missing out on until AFTER he's gotten to know Flutters.

*So in the climax, Fluttershy declares she doesn't love him bc her friends are badgering her, and he gets creepy possessive and tries to hypnotize her and there's a fight and what-not.

Yeah, instead of that what if it's his paranoia that she's avoiding getting married because they plan to betray him coming to a head?

He hears Fluttershy say something to her friends that out of context sounds like they're going to blast him back into stone after all. So he's think she's a traitor who played him for a fool.

I'd nix the hypnotism, just have him and the six fight it out, and then he kicks everyone out before Fluttershy can explain because he's heartbroken and doesn't want anyone to see.

Lot of minor fixes I'd throw in too, cutting out plot threads that go nowhere. Less heteronormativity. Fixing a LOT of OOC-ness. A LOT.

Oh and I'd change Discord's backstory too. The Megamind rip off thing is meh, and I think Discord's a character you could do a lot more interesting things with that that.

As for Fluttershy, a huge problem I have with this fic is she lacks real agency. I want her to choose to go with Discord, not out of the weird sense of feeling she has to sacrifice herself. (It comes off, for lack of a better word, suicidal.)

Maybe instead, she chooses to go because despite her shyness, she's bold when it matters. She will stand up to him. She's not going to be afraid of him anymore. She's gonna tame him like every other wild animal she's had to deal with, and save her home in the process. She's going to come back. He can't keep her there if she really decided to leave.

Have her be the Fluttershy who tried and failed to use her stare on him.

Also, in the original I never at any point felt like she fell in love with him. Just that she gave up resisting his advances. She's always wary and hesitant to do anything with him. That's fine for the beginning of their relationship, but for this to be a good love story that has to change at some point.

Where's the moment she realizes she finds him a little attractive actually? He's weird looking, but he's so confident and funny and fun and that's really appealing. Where's the part where she's having fun and forgets she's a prisoner? Where's the real bonding? Setting boundaries?

Maybe she convinced Discord to let her friends visit, not because she's marrying him already, but because she convinces him to try to make other friends. And he does it, because he loves her already at this point. And she thinks if he and her friends could get along, they could work thing out. Maybe she was hoping things would go well so she could tell him she wanted to marry him after all.

Maybe she really did want her friends at her wedding, but also to be able to have her parents, her brother.

This last bit has nothing to do with the author's writing. This fic was originally written before the show ended, and we got a lot of lore afterwards she couldn't have known about. That's not her fault she couldn't see the future. But just for my sanity, I'd add in more cannon lore.

And uh. I guess that's all got with what I remember of it. Yeah.

[qoldenskies]

Hi, this is a silly question, but welp. Do you think publishing new content on ao3 pays off? I feel like the fandom is dying a bit and I don't know if it's worth writing ff :((

maybe this is just my personal opinion because i wasnt here at the height of the hype especially in 2022 (i watched the show in march 2024 and got into the fandom in june), but the rise fandom is not dying, dont worry.

there are posts here that frequently get thousands of notes, sometimes within days, fics that have gotten pretty popular that are RECENT, a whole culture of aus and events and zines that are still running.

ive been in dying fandoms (the pjo book fandom is so dead yall its joever) and in fandoms that were never even big in the first place (i was in a niche pokemon webcomic community that had upwards of maybe like 40 people active in its discord server, and most of the adults there were republicans or child groomers or usually both .... i know hell, i was there for like four years. trust me) and i havent been in a community as big as rise's since liiike. 2019, i think!

and regardless of any new official content coming out, its also good to note that there are a lot of active and dedicated tmnt fans who make official content for other, much older iterations too, and ive noticed a lot of the people who do are older which is definitely a good thing. fandoms at the peak of their hype are usually INSANELY preteen-infested and it's not a good environment i think should be desired. the discourse i see going around on tiktok right now is deranged but its not new by any means. i REFUSE to be a boomer because im only 18 and i know what its like to be 12, but i do not desire nor envy that kind of fame BAHFHDHGH

but like still. point i was getting to is that even if its not at its peak of popularity i dont think the fandom will be dying any time soon and it's not something to be afraid of. i can cite several fics that did wonderfully in numbers (although i dont recommend basing quality off that, its just important to note) despite being recent and have had the fandom in a chokehold as of late. canary continuity could probably count as one of those considering how crazy it was around november or so..... i miss november :')

i think we all kind of see ourselves like drops of water in a bucket and hesitate to come in so strong because we underestimate the importance of our own voices, especially because fandom attracts very socially anxious people, but a lot of the anxiety about engagement can be mitigated by engaging yourself and being the change you want to see! this also counts with creating content-- the thing about ao3 is that you can have completely different audiences for different fics unlike other platforms from what i've seen, so something may flop at first and then do really well later, or even take a while to kick off (cvd and coming undone have been getting some love lately ive noticed... i keep telling myself i'll continue them and then forgetting)

i'd say its definitely worth a shot to post, because ive noticed that ao3 comment sections are overwhelmingly positive in most cases. ive gotten some passive-aggressive or pushy comments before (usually out of confusion because they werent paying attention, which isnt my fault, or because theyre excited and what to see more, which i still do find flattering) but its always been in a sea of a lot of really wonderful people, which has been really helpful because i have disabling anxiety and constantly doubt myself haha.

i think the advice i see a lot of "write for yourself" is kind of unhelpful and doesn't get to the root of the problem because i think it takes away from the fact that art is such a deeply social part of human expression, and we create it to share it,,, i think a better way to put it is that you should write self-indulgently, and there's always a good chance of finding your people by the time you're finished-- i've connected with a lot of people with VERY similar tastes to me because of my writing and it's been miraculous because as great as my other friends are, their interests vary wildly from mine LOL. its worth it even if you dont kick off immediately!!! and of course i urge everyone to engage with artists and writers whenever you can, it means the world to them!!

[laauranenn]

in wbk fandom you can't have conversation about the writing, development and complexity, this fandom is overprotective about nii's mid writing, Any comments about his flaw in writing characters or this plot will be shut down , fandom only cares about shipping and yaoi

the side characters especially umemiya are well fleshed out with detailed backstories , everything in the plot literally revolve around umemiya , the antagonists like choji and chika revolved around their obsession with ume , tsubakino and sugishita backstories included ume too ,nii is focusing on exploring umemiya and his past more than his mc Sakura

Nii can't make Sakura the center of the plot, the plot always revolves around the side cast and their issues ,while the problem Sakura has with trusting people has been addressed and nearly settled, the root cause is still left in the wind. It feels like the issue was addressed, but Sakura himself specifically never got his past elaborated on, but there is prime opportunity for angst and character moments, as well as just humanizing Sakura.

Thank you so much for responding!!

When I said I want to have a conversation, I meant it!! I agree that when you've got a fandom for something, the fans tend to be protective of the media and its author, and that shipping is something that is very prominent in fandom spaces.

But for the sake of this conversation, I'm going to do my best to ignore shipping that isn't confirmed or implied in the manga, and I'm going to acknowledge flaws in the writing if the points you bring up are convincing!

(If it becomes relevant, I'll only bring up things such as Endo and Takiishi's relationship and Tsubaki's affection for Umemiya, but I don't think they'll be something I need to really get into. )

I disagree with all the plot revolving solely around Umemiya, despite how relevant he is to most arcs in the manga.

The reason that Umemiya is so relevant, and is so present in the story, is because Sakura is going to take his spot someday. Sakura comes to Furin intending to take the top spot, a position that is currently filled by Umemiya.

For Sakura to make it to the top and it mean something, we need to understand what the position truly entails, and how it came to be. Which is what all the information we get on Umemiya is for. We're learning of his journey to the top and how he has shaped the world and its inhabitants.

For Choji and the Shishitoren arc, I'd like to argue that his obsession with Umemiya is about his position, and not about Umemiya himself. Choji and Umemiya are essentially in the same position, just in different teams. Which is why Choji focuses on Umemiya the way he does.

Choji and Togame share the same notion of power being a means to freedom. Choji latches onto this and decides that he wants to be the strongest, and therefore the freest. But when he reaches his goal of being the strongest, it turns out to not be like how he imagined, and the team takes a turn for the worst because of this.

Umemiya, however, is the strongest of his team. Yet he isn't experiencing the same boredom and despair as Choji is, despite being at the top. This is what Choji is so focused on. It's less about Umemiya as a person and is instead about the position he's in.

Sakura does also play an important role in the Shishitoren arc. The whole conflict likely wouldn't have started, or wouldn't have gone the way it did if it weren't for Sakura being there. Without him, the conflict likely would've been resolved differently.

Sakura and Togame's fight is important for both characters. For Sakura, he has a fight with someone where they both respect each other, likely for the first time. And for Togame, Sakura opens his eyes to the ways he's been acting, the ways he's gone against his own beliefs in order to salvage what is left of Shishitoren.

As for Tsubakino and Sugishita, they've both known him for years and he's played an important part in their lives.

For Tsubakino, Umemiya has been his friend since their first year in junior high. He learns that Tsubakino just wants to be himself and love the things he loves, which Umemiya praises him for, and tells him he's going to help back him up if someone tries to hurt him again. And they've been close friends all the way to where we currently are in the manga! Umemiya shows up in Tsubakino's story because he's relevant. It'd also be a little strange for Tsubakino to be one of the four kings without Umemiya showing up somehow, don't you think?

And with Sugishita, Umemiya also plays a similar role. Sugishita gets himself stuck in a spiral of meaningless fights he doesn't even want to be a part of, which Umemiya then saves him from. Umemiya saves him and brings him the peace he wants. This then manifests into his loyalty to Umemiya, as well as his friendship with the four kings.

With Sugishita, this also gives us insight into why he seems to hate Sakura so much. From the start we've known the main reason for it, which is Sakura aiming for Umemiya's spot in the school. But with the most recent chapters, we see why exactly he is so offended by this idea. Umemiya brought Sugishita peace, something that Sakura is actively disrupting. How could someone like Sakura, who's constantly snapping at people, and running into fights possibly measure up to Umemiya and what he's done for Sugishita?

It adds another layer to Sakura and Sugishita's rivalry, which I find incredibly interesting!

It's true that a lot of side characters are getting detailed backstories, while Sakura hasn't really had one yet. But in my opinion, this works out nicely with the way it's executed. It adds to the worldbuilding and makes the characters and the town feel more real, more solid.

I've really enjoyed learning about all the characters, as well as their relationships with each other. It makes Makochi and Furin feel like actual places with actual people, rather than just something that's there to only serve the main character.

As for Sakura's lack of backstory? I can see why you're itching for one, but I can't see it fitting into the story well if we got it right now. I also don't think that there even is a lot to it, not a lot to tell. We've already got a lot of info about Sakura and why he is the way he is, even without a proper backstory.

Even the first chapter makes Sakura's past very clear. He's a boy who's been mistreated for his looks for his entire life. It's brought up a couple times in the first few chapters even.

"How ya look doesn't matter in a fight, that's why I came to Furin"

"This is more like it. This is the right reaction. Everyone is always pushing me away, rejecting me, dismissing me-"

Sakura is someone who's been isolated growing up. This shines through in the way he interacts with others. Sakura is much more confident in a fight, he handles himself better in a fight. But when he interacts with others in a casual setting, he stumbles and gets flustered easily. A lot of the things that show just how alone he's been are subtle or might even be played as jokes, such as the only contact in his phone being a bot that gives you the weather forecast for the day. He also takes things literally. This could be just a trait of his, but it's likely a result of his lack of experience in social situations.

It's a lot of little things that add up. He's slow at texting because he's had nobody to text. He holds a spoon weirdly, likely because nobody corrected him growing up. Doesn't know how to open a Ramune bottle as he's never had one before. (This last one could also just be coincidence, but it all does still add up.)

I'm satisfied with how much we know about Sakura, but I'd love to hear what you'd like to get from a Sakura backstory!! Because it is true we haven't gotten a lot of info on where he was before Makochi.

The lack of backstory for him is because Wind Breaker isn't about his past, it's about him moving forward from it. It's about how Sakura makes a space for himself in Makochi. It's a story about him being accepted, about how a boy hated by all others becomes the hero of the town!

Please do respond again!! Share what you think of what I've said and give me your own observations! I'd love to keep the conversation going :)!!

[thefandomenchantress]

Gahhhh I love sharks. Sharks are so cool. And that makes Desmond so cool.

I wouldn't call myself a shark expert or anything, but I'm so happy they're using a shark as his motif because there's so many things you can do with it.

First of all, I firmly believe that he's not going to be a culprit, or if he is, it won't be out of malicious intent. That's because of the most obvious but also one of my favorite parts about sharks, which is that they have a bad reputation and are accused of being mean and bloodthirsty, when they actually aren't.

Sharks rarely attack humans, and when they do, it's almost always because they think you're a seal or something. More vending machines kill people than sharks do a year. In fact, COWS kill more people than sharks do a year. And COCONUTS!!! Sharks only manage to kill around 5 humans per year. But unfortunately, a certain movie tricked people into thinking that wasn't the case...stares at Jaws accusingly.

Which perfectly leans into how Desmond was suspected in the trial, because of his whole talent being sharpshooting and him having weapons in his room. Despite the fact his room was unguarded for long periods of time, people were immediately suspicious of him, and with a talent like his, I wouldn't be surprised if that continues to happen during trials. They'd ask, how did the killer do this to the victim (or crime scene)? And the answer would often be: Well, if they had Desmond's talent or one of his weapons...

Personally, I think I'm probably on the victim side for Desmond so far, just because I've read about people overhunting sharks to the point that a lot of shark species (40%!) are close to extinction. This is for quite a few reasons, but many places still fail to properly monitor the hunting of sharks, only exasperating the problem. Maybe someone will kill him because they think he's a threat in some way? Or, in an ironic turn of events, Desmond, who is guarding the only one he trusts, is left unguarded himself? Or maybe not. He's also a good survivor pick, I like him.

And his friendship with Eloise...At first, I thought that their friendship was cool but not great, but I'm REALLY starting to love them as a duo. The shark, who has a bad reputation despite not having bad intentions, and the swan, who despite being known as elegant, can actually be pretty violent. Especially when they're protecting something...Like their best friend...

(Honestly if Eloise killed to protect Desmond it'd be so cool. I'd be so down for them covering for each other no matter what it'd be so fun. And people would be all mad at Desmond, who would ask if he was just supposed to let his best friend die because of him and--).

They guard each other in a way, since sharks can often symbolize protection (+his secret), and the stuff I rambled about above for Eloise. They're just cool together.

A few facts that could be used in a Desmond killer/victim situation:

-Sharks can sense electricity (well, sort of)

-They don't have vocal chords, so they can't make noises like dolphins or other animals do

-They can see pretty well in the dark

(Then again, there was already a blackout so I'm not sure they'll ever have another culprit use darkness to their advantage, and electrocution was also already used, so...I guess I'll just take him knowing stuff about tasers as a reference to the electricity)(But hey, Desmond somehow being silenced during a murder isn't off the table).

So anyways the point is, sharks are cool as fuck and so is Desmond. His design rocks, his chill demeanor is always welcome, and overall I just really like him and his shark motif.

[butchpeace]

I know you're trying to help, but colleges have high rape statistics, and women can't even trust other women to not be pickmes and use them to attract males, or even set them up to be raped. Even their own mothers. Some women pimp other women and children out to rapists. All I see on this website is doomerfems saying we will never see female liberation within our lifetime, much less the next five years. So let the fake ftms transition, because it's really not any worse than what we live through. I'd say our existence is equally bad because we're both females, but we're trading possible male privilege for better health in a world where our health isn't taken seriously anyway, where we suffer and die and are ignored when we're in pain anyway. And they're trading slightly worse health for occasional male privilege, which includes better healthcare, despite the transing their health and lives are still probably better and more free than ours. We suffer because of birth control, barely understood menstruation, rapist gynos, rapist doctors, a host of female health conditions, constantly being talked over or ignored, and the rage of rape ape moids. We can't even go places alone without being killed or raped. We're not free. If I were okay with looking like an ugly moid I would transition too. The only reason I suffer is for my good looks as a female and not scare off my girlfriend, otherwise I would trans myself and have major dysphoria about looking like a hideous masculine woman and my girlfriend would understandably leave me. So we just hide in our home and live in fear. If a woman can escape that, let her.

The problem with this take is that female transitioners have significantly worse health outcomes than women who don’t transition. Because our bodies are still female, and doctors don’t know anything about female health, we’re subject to all the same issues, plus the ones we get from being on testosterone, binding, and surgeries.

Masculinized women often face additional obstacles to receiving competent reproductive healthcare due to being medically altered and androgynous. Healthcare discrimination is real. The unknowns of testosterone’s effects on other aspects of our health also lead to less competent care in every other medical field too. The “doctors” in trans clinics (more often RNs) are truly incompetent in every way.

I can’t understate how dangerous it is to willingly put yourself in that precarious situation. It kills people.

TIFs also suffer high rates of sexual assault and abuse, especially if they date men. Even when they’re lucky enough to “pass”, they are still female and are still treated as such by partners. They are still on average smaller and weaker than men. I’ve personally heard stories of TIFs being assaulted by doctors too, including by doctors in the trans industry. “Male privilege” is only granted in some situations and under the requirement that no one finds out she’s a woman.

To top it all off, you suffer from the inescapable psychological trauma that’s inherent to medical transition, and the mental illness inherent to trying to hide your biological sex.

The bottom line is that you don’t escape sex-based oppression by identifying out of your sex. You just take on a whole new set of problems in addition to the ones you already have.

[motheatenscarf]

Amidst all the James Somerton fallout, I think it's important to remember not to moralize whether or not you or others fell for his grift.

Obviously, if you were rallied into being one of his attack dogs on social media when he put some pretty heinous hits out on people, uh. You might have other problems and should probably evaluate how you spend your time online and how you treat other people before you start caring about the rest of the points I'm about to make. Priorities, etc.

But for the rest of us, it's surprisingly easy to miss just how awful a creator can be.

If you only watched his videos that caught your interest, if you don't really follow creators on social media, if you skip livestreams because watching Some Guy talk unfiltered into a bad camera angle with shitty lighting for hours on end sounds like a fucking nightmare to you, you're not really gonna catch most of this shit. At least, you're not gonna catch most of it from any perspective but the one he tries to spin.

This is a reminder to be skeptical and to trust your gut and check sources if something sounds wrong, but also. Uh. That's still the creator's responsibility not to plagiarize and to fact check their work. You're not morally obligated to be as thorough in curating your experience as someone who is making sure they take every ethical precaution before absolutely destroying a "creator's" credibility in a video like H-Bomb's or Todd in the Shadows'. You're literally just some guy. Most people, myself included, watch these videos as background noise while doing at minimum one other task, you're not gonna google every damn thing he says, especially not on media analysis, where the POINT is to have one's own opinion. THEY'RE the ones trying to be "influencers," or, laughably, "creators." The standards are on them.

And for the isms, phobias, and misogyny, well. Frankly, for my own perspective, I gaslight myself all the damn time when I see red flags. Good Allyship™ has been telling me for years to ignore my own discomfort when someone criticizes a privileged group, especially one I'm a part of. I'm a cis asexual white-passing and probably neuroatypical woman, I am constantly trying to be aware of my own relative privilege while simultaneously doubting my own reaction to things. Despite this, I'd still liked to think I'm a skeptical person, but nobody's immune to everything. Everybody has weak spots.

If you got duped or fell for James' scam, that sucks. I feel ya. I fell for it too, I've seen probably 40% of his catalog over the last couple years and really liked what I'd seen. I recommended his channel and videos to people even if I didn't always agree with every point he made, but it felt important to at least consider what to me seemed like a unique perspective that had value or added to a conversation. There are red flags within his content, his analysis, his rate of publishing, his weird diatribes, that in retrospect, really all added up into things I should have known better than to ignore. But, for reasons I'm interrogating and am adding to my list of things to be aware of about myself, I didn't ignore them, and got grifted. I donated to his patreon a few times, probably gave him like $20 grand total over the years, about as much as I've given H Bomb. The important take away here isn't to be ashamed of the fact that you were fooled, it's to remember that you're fallible.

And it's good to recognize that about yourself. Everyone is, and the ones who say they aren't are lying. They're either gonna be the next person to feel really stupid and foolish when they fall for a scam, or are themselves the grifter.

No one is immune.

[violetsastrocytes]

unhinged regulus (my fave)

hey hello i thought i'd quickly talk about regulus in my lotss fic... i feel like people are gonna have problems with him—so here's some musings/ramblings etc!

so i really enjoy the idea of exploring human nature, and to me this means a flawed character. in lotss regulus is not a good person. there's good in him, sure, but on the whole he's morally corrupt and has a detrimental fuck-it-we-ball attitude. he relishes in destruction and indulges in his volatility. like he persuaded sirius to literally bind them together with a potentially fatal and 100% illegal spell at ten fucking years old, because he was like whelp. i'm gonna miss you when you go to highschool. and he's manipulative as shit, because sirius was like oh yeah, horcruxes, solid plan, and then does it.

regulus joins the army, yes to protect sirius, yes so sirius doesn't have to, but he would've joined anyway. he LOVES the power it gives him. he finds murdering fun. genuinely fun. he likes to tease his victims, he likes to draw their death out, he thinks it's hilarious when they cry and beg. and sure, okay, these are unambiuously bad people, veela traffickers etc, reg doesn't feel this way when he's on the battlefield and it's basically soldiers just like him. but still, it does take a certain character to not only carry out, but relish in murder.

i took a lot of inspiration for his and General Riddle's relationship from Silko and Jinx (from Arcane). i thought that dynamic was the best ever, like here are two hurt, damaged, chaotic and morally deranged people. they enable each other, they care for each other (genuinely). i'm obsessed with Arcane so think about it way too much, but Silko's last words to Jinx "you're perfect" make me wanna scream. because to him she is. that's what a daughter is to a father—a true father. flawed and tainted and morally ugly, blood all over her hands—but she is still his daughter, he forgives her, he loves her. despite, because of, regardless.

anyway my whole point with this ramble—i feel like lots of marauders fics ive read ultimately try and either validate, justify or redeem a character's unjust actions or corrupt nature. that's totally valid obviously, but that's not what i've done in lotss. regulus never regrets his behaviour, even when it ends up costing him someone he really, really loves. even then he continues to do it, he continues to enjoy it. he never has any big revelation and goes fuck. i messed up.

and general riddle—we've seen him manipulate, coerce and trap nagini. so we're against him. but then we see him from regulus' pov—who admires and trusts him—and he seems like a nice guy. so then we're like okay, is he a dick or is he nice? but isn't everyone both sides of that coin?

i really tried to show that while, on the whole, he's an upstanding leader, fighting for good causes (and is non-discriminative: there's a vast and inclusive representation of genders and races in the death eater army, something which is notably absent from the ministry-affiliated order and bmaf) even then riddle's hungry for more power. he wants to experiment and test the limits of his magic. my whole moral of the story thing with lotss is that power corrupts. there is NO GOOD SIDE. i'll say it again: no one wins in war.

like that line in hotd, where alicent says wtf are we even fighting for anymore? and rhaenyra is like lol idk. i was reading about the vietnam war recently: america and australia sent all those men in, then realised they were being fucking decimated and were like, oh fuck, and pulled them out again. thousands dead. literally for fucking what. anyway, all that to say: i'm not trying to use a character (regulus) who is generally well-liked by the fandom in order to try and justify or advocate for violence. his behaviour is just me experimenting with another way trauma can play out, like don't forget the circumstances of his birth, or the fact that he had to watch sirius being abused. sirius' magic was tested by orion to the point where he almost died multiple times. it effected sirius one way, it effected regulus another.

anyway! it's a story loves, not meant to be serious xo as i said before, take it all with a pinch of salt. and if you happen to watch arcane, tell me so we can try about it together!

[zahri-melitor]

inspired by your recent ask about the birds of prey - i like how you said it's basically bbs and her harem - er, i mean, teammates and contacts - instead of a team where the "center" is less rigidly defined like 90s young justice or early teen titans (i know dick was the leader but it always seemed like they were all pretty equally close even with early stuff like the roy+garth rivalry). but also i'd like to know more of your thoughts on bop as a whole! personally i loved babs in amanda waller's suicide squad and her on the jla but i can't stand her in bop because all her batty traits come out, my fav is helena so i always feel so sad on her behalf and i thought babs's "apology" was so flimsy and inadequate (maybe i'm biased though because i loved rucka's godfather-esque take on helena so i was disappointed by the sex and the city-esque writing for her prevalent throughout bop)... but babs doesn't treat outsiders like powergirl well either... and that's not even getting how various asian female characters like lady shiva were characterized but to be fair i think that was a DC-wide problem in the early 00s and not just a gail simone thing, though it doesn't make me dislike simone's writing choices any less.... but sorry, sorry, enough of my whining!! please share your thoughts on bop, i'm listenin and learnin over here!!!!!

…I think if you find Barbara as having too many ‘batty traits’ in Simone’s BOP you’re just generally going to have a hard time with Birds of Prey runs. The basic concept of Birds of Prey is Barbara being paranoid, over-controlling and running private ops for her own purposes. It’s essentially an outgrowth of the position she held in Suicide Squad 1987, only Babs is doing it independently without oversight now, rather than working as control for Waller.

Dinah does not see Barbara’s face or find out her name until BOP #21, 29 issues + 2 crossover issues into Birds of Prey as a concept. BLACK CANARY.

I actually personally am very fond of the work Simone did on Helena and Barbara’s relationship together, because she had to sit there and carefully untangle a decade’s worth of drama between them, where they were both extremely justified in being mad at the other. Sticking points that had to be worked through on both sides included: both of their relationships with Dick; Helena’s use of the Bat costume during No Man’s Land and the argument over whether or not that counted as being ‘Batgirl’; the costume going to Cass and Barbara being supportive of Cass as Batgirl; Helena breaking into the Clock Tower in No Man’s Land; Helena’s willingness to use violence and kill. There was lore there and years of encroaching on the other’s territory. So yes, it was rocky to start and they had to learn to trust each other, because they both went in with justifiable hurts, and had done things the other considered completely unacceptable.

Barbara is very much able to work with people she doesn’t like, but she is also a notorious grudge-holder, which means if she’s pissed at a character, she will go out of her way to snub them and avoid them all together. (Your most obvious examples of this are the Babs v Power Girl problems – the origin of which is actually a Dixon story and an example of Babs’ control tendencies meaning her emotional intelligence did not kick in; and Babs’ grudge against Kory). The fact she was willing to get over her problems with Helena was in many ways a reflection of the fact that despite all the conflicts, they both had fundamental base respect for each other, and understood they had to work with or around each other in Gotham.

BOP 1999 is Barbara and Dinah together against the world’s problems, and from Simone and Bedard’s runs it picks up a bunch of extra characters to widen the team and use various people for various specific needs, and to also explore female friendship. You know how Roy promises Dick at the start of Outsiders 2003 that it can just be a team, it doesn’t have to be a family? Babs tries to pull that on HERSELF in Bedard’s run while she’s grappling with the fact that Dinah’s not on the team (and fails. Miserably). What I think one of the upsides of Simone’s run (that I think may be part of what you’re categorising as the ‘Sex and the City’ vibes) is that Simone, being a woman, is actually aware that most women have more than a single female friend, and actually portrays those networks of friendships and different vibes together.

BOP 2010 is Barbara getting the team back together in the wake of Dinah and Ollie’s divorce to give Dinah something to distract herself with and lure her back.

BOP 2011 is technically Dinah’s strike force team, not Babs’, and is missing some of the vibe because they’ve lost a control figure by Barbara being present as Batgirl, not being Oracle. It’s not awful but it is pretty formulaic with occasional bright spots.

Batgirl and the Birds of Prey 2016 is an attempt to get the team back to basics in the Simone team model, by re-establishing the baselines of the Barbara-Dinah-Helena friendships. It is successful at that, but it could have dealt with the fact that Babs was Batgirl not Oracle in a less aggravating manner.

There’s an assortment of short Harley Quinn-based stories next that I’m skipping over as they’re mostly slight and dreadful.

The villains and antiheroes BOP that exists for a hot second in Urban Legends for a story really should have been a Ravens team.

BOP 2023 is still having a few issues with figuring out the balance of tension between this being Barbara’s Team and the fact that Dinah stood the team up specifically trying to work around Barbara for Plot Reasons, but a lot of the knots have been worked out by now. It’s very much moving towards having the core of Barbara-Dinah-Cass-Barda-Sin as solid.

[copperbadge]

Oh geez, is that where the “I have harnessed the secret powers of my ADHD” stuff is coming from? I mean, good work, but maybe don’t put that on your resume.

What, the "how your ADHD is a superpower" thing? I'm not really immersed enough in that niche to know, but it's certainly possible. YouTube I think is a more vocal place when it comes to clickbait about how your neurodivergence is really a neuroadvantage.

It's not objectively bad. I think there is space to both acknowledge that life with neurodivergence can suck, but also that there's nothing wrong with being a different kind of thinker. The problem is with the way our culture treats that difference. Like yeah I wish my brain was different, and even if our culture was different I'd still probably do that, but being old enough to see the ways in which I'm advantaged by it is very validating, and makes up for it.

Despite being terrible with details in my own work, I often catch stuff my neurotypical colleagues miss, both in the work we do and just like, out in the world. Last time we were traveling, one of them said, "Man, I wish there was a bakery around here," and I said "Oh, we passed one two blocks back -- well, not really a bakery, they do mini cheesecakes." Once we backtracked, it was evident that we'd all walked past it but I was the only one who clocked it, because it was tiny and didn't have much signage. My coworker asked me, "How did you even notice this was here?" and I said, "That's the ADHD!" with amusement.

Mind you, I was with two colleagues I trust, one of whom has a kid with developmental struggles, so I was okay talking about it. It shouldn't be something that you have to hide, but yeah it's not something to put on your resume, or in your cover letter. It will make you less employable, which sucks, but also unless you're asking for accommodation that's not something your employer needs to know. I won't advise on when to notify an employer that you'll need accommodation, because I'm not well-versed in disability law, but I've seen it go very badly even with people who have been with an employer for years. And during an interview, anything that's not directly about the job (faith, partner, kids, disability, allergies, etc) should be kept to the absolute minimum, if only because some people in hiring really get put off by any mention of it in a discussion of job skills.

And I think truly the issue is that there was probably a brief moment of about three weeks where "your disability is a superpower" was actually a meaningful, validating statement, and then the Employment Industrial Complex got hold of it and realized that they could shift the messaging to validate anything that contributed to the capitalist work ethic and ignore or dismiss anything that didn't. It's shocking how fast "hey, ADHD has some upsides" became "if you can stop fidgeting your hyperfocus will make us millions."

[dialaster]

POST DEBUNKING ALL THE LIES ABOUT ME.

Firstly I'd like to say that I never wanted to be involved into any drama (I normally avoid it like the plague), I'm being forced to because people keep lying about me.

Now, onto more important matters, I've been accused by @momo-crome of “ leading her on ” however that is absolutely not true, I've made it very clear that I was never interested:

The full screenshot of the one she used as “proof” :

The PFP argument is ridiculous enough... she was upset because the artist had blocked her (despite them never interacting before) and tried guilting me into changing it... it was a simple drawing of civilian. She admitted that any time someone blocks her she believes they hate her which, in my opinion, is NOT my problem and she shouldn't control what I have as my PFP, seriously... freaking out over nothing.

I also never got mad at her like she's saying... :

The other day I didn't DM her to “harass” her, I simply explained the situation:

I never harassed ANYONE I only DMed people to explain what TRULT happened, proving your innocence to try to keep misinformation from spreading is absolutely NOT harassment. People lyign about me is destroying MY mental health, and i promise that getting a DM from someone calmly explaining why they didn't do anything wrong isn't gonna hurt you if you chose to be involved in the drama.

THE DOC SITUATION

Doc lied about their age and later claimed that I was “grooming” them, they told me they were 13 when we started dating (I was 14 at the time) however in reality they were 11, here's them admitting to their lie:

The “manipulation” were simple BPD episodes that they agreed to help me with, I warned them that I was going to talk about quite disturbing ways to hurt myself and they said they'd be fine if I asked them for help during those, they fully knew what they were getting into:

About the taking advantage of me situation I unfortunately don't have screenshots because it was on an online game, so you'll simply have to trust me on that, but they ARE indeed fatphobic:

Even though that was a bad person, I think fatphobia cannot be excused. It's the same concept as misgendering a trans person simply because they're bad. It is NEVER justified. They also made another joke about an innocent person in my Discord server (that I had to delete) but led to this announcement from me:

There we go. I'm completely innocent and did absolutely nothing wrong, people just love taking their own stress out on me for absolutely no reason.

[taylortruther]

I think there are plenty of songs since Lover that show us Taylor and Joe were having problems, or that Taylor was trying to work through her emotions when she was hurt by Joe. I just never thought about it too much because it seemed pretty normal for a couple to have issues. Part of the human experience is being deeply hurt by the people you love and, while they don't mean it to, it can feel like your scars are reopening.

I don't like going back to her pre-breakup song and be like "oh she was always scared of him leaving" "there were always signs they'd breakup" because you can find flaws in any relationship. Being in a relationship is constantly making the choice to stay, despite everything. Despite your trust issues, despite their struggles to communicate. You choose to stay because the sacrfice is worth the prize. You choose to stay until it's not worth it anymore, or maybe you choose to stay again and again until either of you die. But in Taylor's case, she realized she was choosing something that, by this point, was destorying her instead of building her up.

your second paragraph is *chef kiss.*

to be honest, a lot of the conflict taylor described in her music sounded like something i'd never want - but i also really love how beautifully she describes her own journey in figuring out her flaws and facing them in order to make her relationship work. and the only option we have is to trust her judgment about her own life. if she stayed 6-7 years, we have to assume there was reason for that and i don't think we need to have discourse about how "she should've known better" or fans should've seen it coming, you know?

and, yeah, conflict is a normal part of relationships and i believe it's very common for issues that will eventually tear your relationship apart to be present at the beginning. it's just that at the beginning, you might be endeared by them, you have the energy/desire to work through them, you think they might change, or the issues actually just get worse over time.

as taylor said in renegade, "if i would've known how many pieces you had crumbled into, i might've let them lay" - that indicated their issues were serious at the time of writing, which i discussed with you guys at the time, but it was also very relatable. people can go through shit together after 6 - 15 - 20 years that would scare you at year 1.

also, some people made it hard to discuss any of this at the time without becoming the joe defense squad, becoming the taylor hit squad, or immediately turning this into "joe and taylor are gonna break up" discourse. so like. yeah. lots of reasons why we didn't or couldn't talk about these things in the moment lmao

[transformation4life]

Hey bro, I'm back. Cosplay with the bulk and mask is doing great! People are eating that uniqueness! Problem though, I'm a bit too nerdy for their tastes. They didn't like my gaming posts. Think you can add in my history that I'm a big jock too? I need the experience. I don't mind my brain shrinking.

Continuation of:

A rewriting of your history huh... Let's see where you last left you off.

Yea... unfortunately someone as big and bulky as you just doesn't fit gaming NERD. Sure you got the bod of a lifetime but not a single change in your personality let alone your past. Subby furries been asking you for fun in DM's but you're still as shy before so you have to turn them and they think you're homophobic! You've been going to the gym to maintain your new body and got yourself some gymbro friends but unlike them you've never participated in sports in your life so you have to nod and smile when they start talking football. Your social media presence is all sorts of wack too with your fans demanding to post thirst traps and flexing pics but you just keep posting gaming clips since you don't want to make your only thing on the online world being a beefy meathead that only cares about their bod. It was all piling up and wish you could just change your past to fit the body you wished for...

Well that's where I come in and help you once more! You hear a knock on your home door and you went to check who was there. No one was there but you saw something on the ground so you opened the door to find a strange device and a note on the ground.

Hey Dude!

Heard the beef life was getting hard with no change of memories or life so I thought I'd help out. What you see is a Reality Augmentation Device! Just say what you want and reality will change to suit your desires.

It's one use only so no going back!

Choose wisely,

-Tf4life

Reality Augmentation Device? You'd think I was crazy if I didn't give you the bod you currently possess so you trusted my judgement.

The device was a sphere shape and had a screen for soundwaves and a singular button. Looks like you press the button, say what you want and reality will change. So much power in such a small device. Well with a bit of hesitancy you press the button and say your wish.

"I wish my life would fit my body" And then you let go of the button. Immediately after you let go the device warped itself out of reality and you suddenly passed out. Your past would now change.

The changes begin in middle school. Instead of staying reserved and quiet you LOVED to act out much to the dismay of your teachers. You adored sports, especially football which ended up with you on your middle school football team as the star player. You eventually got a ton of friends that were just like you. You were known as the school troublemakers and sports buffs. You didn't learn a damn thing the whole time you were there.

Come High School you continued this attitude fully becoming a typical jock with the friends to match. This is when you began to work out almost every single day leading to that hot bod of yours. Your bros were your everything... your... everything. You realized you were gay. Any who you of course joined your High School Football team and once again was the star player. The whole school loved you for constantly bringing home trophies. Your grades took an even bigger decline than what was even possible. You were already a major meathead with the only thoughts being sports workout and hanging out with bros. It's a miracle you didn't get expelled but the fame and trophies was what allowed you to stay. You graduated with multiple sports related schools BEGGING to have you and despite that meathead brain of yours you eventually picked a college to attend.

College was more about working out than actually attending classes. When you did attend classes it was an excuse to be the meathead jock to ever meathead jock. Luckily this was a sports college so all that mattered was your ability on the field. You still had your craft in football and landed your college football team multiple trophies and eventually graduating with a "Degree in Jock" the person who handed you the degree at graduation joked. Which might I add you were completely shirtless during graduation? Yeah.

Brimming with jock confidence you got tattoos on your arms and started posting your workout journey onto social media and to say people were interested would be an understatement. Thirst trap comments would pour in on every single post just look at the ones with this selfie!

"Big~~"

"You're so lovely~"

"Daddyyyyy"

"I want you"

These were a common occurrence and you loved all of it. You were able to stay in contact with your gymbros even after school and hung out almost every single day pumping iron with the bros. Talking about sports was a nonissue as you knew every single football term under the sun. You will willing to help your bros if they had a hard time lifting something.

"Just like that bro..." You whisper to him.

And there's still more! Hanging out with gymbros means bouncing those meat mounds with your gymbros.

And maybe a flex or two...

And that leads back to the new present. Despite all the changes to your past there was still one thing that stayed. Your love of masks. You would sometimes wear your wolf bone mask and black balaclava to workouts and your bros found it very amusing.

Those same subby furries that wanted a strong werewolf to dominate them you were too shy to reply to in your old past was now in your bed being fucked silly by you in a wolfmask. Safe to say your entire social media presence WAS being a meathead jock and you owned it.

"Video games? Never heard of it. I got GAINMES right here" You said to one your gymbros once at the gym with a flex.

With all that in mind and your past altered you woke up from your impromptu nap wondering why you were on the ground in front of your house. The meathead jock in you just brushed it off before you remembered something.

"Oh right, gotta go work out with my bros!" Immediately running back inside to get ready to workout like you have been for multiple years.

You loved working out with your bros they were your everything to you and you couldn't be happier. The shy nerdy you was long gone and your life finally fit your body. And to make sure of that you posted another post-workout selfie to your social medias.

" Gains 💪💪💪💪"

[leventart-den]

I'm here with another silly idea for ZoSan, dear Strawhearts. And you know what? I love cliches. Because for me it is always so much fun to take something that is very well-known and predictable and think how it can be turned around and changed. So, of course, when I see the "f*ck or die" tag on AO3, my brain immediately starts to work and think what I can do with it. I'm writing this in a very subdued and non-descriptive manner (because I'm just sharing a general idea), but I think you can fill in the blanks given the topic.

So what if this happened and during another battle with an enemy ship, Sanji was somehow drugged.

And now this is a ten times worse version of Sanji, and not only regarding girls. And since it's ZoSan, of course Zoro is the one who finds Sanji in the kitchen and notices that something is wrong with the shitty cook. They fight as usual, but in the end it ends with Sanji admitting that he needs help. He tells Zoro that he trusts him, that he is strong enough to watch over him and not let him out of the kitchen so that Sanji doesn't do things to others that he will later regret. 

So now they're stuck in the kitchen alone with Zoro shooing everyone away from the door who comes to find out what's going on. Although later they still had to move down to another cabin because Luffy couldn’t live without food and was ready to break inside. Sanji, in turn, is holding up adequately for now, but over time things are getting worse. Zoro can tell that the cook is burning like a furnace even sitting a few steps away from him.

Over time, Zoro begins to talk to Sanji to distract him. Somehow they manage to talk to each other without the usual fighting and insults. This is probably because Sanji is too out of it and just doesn't have the strength. And Zoro, despite the impression of an idiot that he sometimes creates, is actually very smart and attentive and senses the situation enough to react adequately. Because you can't be the best swordsman if you can't read your enemies and people in general as a consequence. And Sanji is not just a crew member, he has always been his rival. Zoro is able to read Sanji better than anyone to this point. So he understands when "it's not the right time". 

Although, as a few more hours pass, everything begins to slide even further down the slope. Zoro begins to think that the shitty cook has bitten more than he can chew. And if Zoro is completely frank, he himself has been having “strange” thoughts for some time now, which he stubbornly refuses to name. He suggests turning to Chopper for medical help, but Sanji categorically refuses. Chopper is too young and there is no way in hell that Sanji would allow him to be exposed to “such things in life” even as a doctor.

More time passes and when at some point Sanji stops responding to Zoro and he realizes that Curly blacked out Zoro thinks that he had enough.

He manages to bring Sanji back to consciousness and angrily (because he’s worried, although he won’t admit it) says that the cook is an idiot and instead of being stubborn and enduring and possibly dying, Zoro could help him. They could solve this problem. And in general it’s not even a problem, there’s nothing “special” about it, they’ll just forget about it after that and that’s it. However, despite his clouded consciousness, Sanji watched him very carefully and maybe he would have believed Zoro that “there is nothing special about this” if he had not been red as a tomato and his hands had not trembled so much, despite how tightly they were squeezing the collar of his shirt. 

So after a moment of silence, he carefully removed Zoro's hands, never taking his eyes off Zoro.

"Marimo. If you want to help me, help me. Stay with me. Make sure I don't do anything stupid. Restart my heart if it stops. Help me breathe if I can't anymore. But don't fucking ever offer me this solution again. That won't happen, not in circumstances like these. Not under pressure. I don't want to hear this. I'd rather fucking die than let anything control me and influence my actions. I am my own man, this is my body and only I can decide what and how."

There was something left unsaid. Something Zoro doesn't know yet about the cook's past. But he understands that it is important enough not to try to propose this solution anymore.

Silence fell after that, interrupted only by Sanji's heavy breathing and muffled wheezes of pain. Each of them with their own thoughts. Curly is strong, Zoro knows he will get through, but despite this, for some reason it’s hard to hear his pain. Zoro's hand twitches to reach out to him and somehow bring comfort. But he doesn't do that, he just sits next to him.

It becomes dark, night falls over the sea and a sudden thought comes to Zoro.

“You said that you don’t want it to happen under such circumstances.. Does that mean that under different..”

"Shut up shitty Marimo."

"..you would make out with me?"

Zoro doesn't see Sanji's face, he doesn't answer. But the silence is so loud that Zoro begins to think that he is about to suffocate. He wasn't prepared for how hard it would hit him.

They don't speak after that. It's deep into the night when Zoro hears that Sanji's breathing has become measured, he seems to have fallen asleep. The drug has worn off. Zoro sighs, feeling suddenly very tired and as if sobered up. This is an unpleasant and strange feeling. It was as if it suddenly became colder. He feels nervous and angry. And the worst thing is he understands why.

He is afraid of losing what he doesn't have. What he didn't know he needed. Something he didn't notice.

Sanji shifts in his sleep and Zoro feels a growl forming in his throat.

He doesn't sleep that night.

He guards.

[indianariesolive]

My Unpopular(ish) opinions/takes on Legacy of the Gods series by Rina Kent

Contains spoilers ⚠️

Starting off strong, let me just get this off my chest, I really dislike God of Malice. This is mainly due to the insufferable MCs; Killian & Glyndon.

First of all, I found Killian really difficult to empathize with. Sure, what his dad said about regretting having him sucks but that's no excuse to be an a$$hole. I'm sure that if a mid/ugly guy with no money & prestige did the same things he'd done when first meeting Glyndon (iykyk) they'd be mercilessly ripped apart by the fandom. Also that one line in his POV when he said that the main reason why he chose to be a med student was because that gave him a free pass to poke & prod into people's innards & watch them squirm in agony 🤢

Coming to the 2nd part, Glyndon. As a protagonist she was such a blank slate. Killian at least had personality! (A bad one but he had one nonetheless). Same can't be said about Glyndon with her wimpiness coupled with an absurd inferiority complex (despite being talented & surrounded by a powerful & loving family & friends) as well as her lack of a deep connection with her friend group. On a more serious note, I despise the absolute double standards with which she views Killian & her brother Landon. Both are clinically diagnosed psychopaths but she has none of the grace & understanding for her own brother but readily excuses her boyfriend's behavior even though both of them are the same person, different font. 🙄

Moving on to the 2nd book, God of Pain is one of my favorites in the series but not without its fair share of drawbacks. Even though Annika appeared to be a manic pixie dream girl at the beginning she grew on me as chapter by chapter, her POVs revealed her to be more complex & headstrong, contrasting the whimsical image she's perceived as (both by her love interest, the MMC Creighton as well as the other characters like her friends & family). She's a sweet, soft girl with a dormant badass side that can get dangerous when provoked & that's precisely what Creighton had to learn through the hard way.

Getting to the gist of my main problem, I really hated the way everyone treated Annika after the you-know-what. I mean, what else was she supposed to do, watch her beloved brother get murdered by the love of her life? Everyone cut her off 'cause 'she hurt Cray-Cray who's like our brother'. Well, SHE HAD TO DO THAT TO SAVE HER OWN BROTHER, YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASSES!!!! Y'all brains weren't braining here. Also, that scene near the end where there's this huge confrontation Creighton has with Adrian Volkov & Annika with her quick thinking just snatches a guard's gun, negotiates & diffuses the situation without bloodshed was just chef's kiss. 😌

Also, everyone gushes over Lia & Yan's friendship but Yan's bond with Annika, how he plays the role of the fun uncle while Adrian glares & has to rein them in as the level-headed dad. 🥺

That brings me to this sidenote: Glyndon could take a page out of Annika's book & learn a lesson: How to Love Your Brother & Stand Up for Yourself.

Regarding Jeremy & Cecily, I don't have any major complaints. I like how Cecily put Jeremy in his place & made him grovel for disrespecting her with his trust issues. Putting his mommy issues aside, Jeremy was overall a good character for a dark romance. He's got the hot biker thing going.

Moving on to Landon & Mia. I have nothing against Mia per se. She's pretty cool. I only hated how the author ruined her bond with her twin Maya. Also, I'm kind of ashamed to say that I wasn't the biggest fan of Landon at first but then going through his POVs made me realize that I'd been bought into the anti-Lan propaganda by Glyndon. He actually cares for his siblings, unlike Killian. He just has an unconventional way of showing it. Plus there wasn't a huge power-gap/imbalance between him & Mia so that's another point in his favour.

Last but not the least, God of Fury featuring Nikolai & Brandon has got to be among my top favorites. I only dislike the unnecessary mud-slinging with the irrelevant ex Clara. Everything else was perfection. I never expected Nikolai to be such an adorable & funny character. Also something I find really funny was that both in this book as well as in her POV, Glyndon claimed to be the one closest to Brandon. The way she described her dynamic with her brothers was, "Bran & I are a team against Lan." And not only did Brandon shut her down in a gentle yet firm tone, also her dense arse never noticed anything wrong with Brandon like!?!?! Landon was the one who'd picked on Brandon's tendency to hide & repress his emotions & stuff, and he was the one who'd tried to help Brandon open up, even if his attempt was unsuccessful. So much for her being the one on the same team lol.

[polyamorousmood]

hi! i'd love to get some sympathy/advice/etc from other ppl about this. so long story short my girlfriend (wonderful amazing great i am so happy with her) has a boyfriend, and i at first their rs was meant to be ephemeral, but then things changed and they realized they could make a longform commitment work out, so they tried! problem is, during the trial run, the guy realized poly wasnt working for him and he failed to communicate this well, so it caused a situation where he was very much just fishing for my partner to get in a closed rs with him. when she expressed how hurtful and wrong that was, he apologized and changed his behavior and after some more various ups and downs we've now settled into a pretty good situation where he's giving polyamory a serious try and seems sincerely committed to making it good! i trust my gf wholeheartedly and i want nothing but the best for them both, and for that brief period of time where it was ok we even had 3person dates and really special interactions, so i came to sincerely like guy a decent bit and i am cautiously but sincerely optimistic. however, by having to admit shit to himself, he's now of the mind that he'd like a much more segmented-off rs with my partner, which is fine, but also the resentment he felt towards not being able to have my gf all to himself made him lose his positive feelings towards me and now he expresses a (his words) 'goodwilled indifference' and we havent even Talked since he tried to effectively ultimatum my gf out of being poly. and that is just SO hurtful when i know i did absolutely nothing wrong to warrant the loss of what i felt was a genuinely precious and positive connection, and like, the first time ive had the chance to have a metamour! like as someone who really cares about learning how to admit fault i really cannot stress enough how much i didnt do jack shit here i was just vibing and trying to be nice and now it's just this sad thing i have to deal with. i know it has everything to do with his own preferences and insecurities and nothing to do with me, but i still feel a big child-like sense of betrayal and injustice and it makes me want to be mean and bitter and defensive ("well if you dont give a shit about me and wanna pretend i don't exist, then im gonna do the same! how do you like that, huh?" type beat). i know those feelings are to be worked with and worked through instead of acted upon, but it's still hard :-( i dont really miss *him*, really, i just miss not being in a polycule that has a member who struggles so much with polyamory. and though i trust her deeply, i am still sad and worried that this is a precarious situation that can end up hurting my partner and hampering her ability to feel free and happy in polyamory, which only adds to my mistrusting of the guy. anyone else in a similar situation, havin' to work with a poly-newbie metamour or something similar? im not crazy for getting bad vibes, despite my best hopes for them? thank you either way, i dont know enough poly people irl and ive been bursting with this shit for a bit so it helps even to just ramble it out

Yeah, I've been in similar places. Just putting the read more immediately because I don't have a good pithy introduction. But uh, TL;DRI guess? 🤷‍♀️: its totally fair for you to struggle with some negative feelings. But you are still in it together (even if he's pretending you don't exist) and the only way to the other side is through.

Its shitty, its exhausting, its infuriating. And it's all the more frustrating that you like... don't even WANT to be mad at him cause he DID apologize and now he IS trying to change the shitty parts, so you WANT to encourage that. Feels very

And it puts your mutual partner in the tough spot of having to balance⚖️ things between you two if he's unwilling to talk to you. And like, you're stuck waiting for him to come around, you can't even really DO anything, its all on HIM to prove he's not going to be an asshole forever.

And you kinda resent him for causing this much trouble basically all on his own! And then thinking he can still get all the good shit after stirring the pot! Like he tried to break you up and now you have to be the bigger person?? What kinda bullshit--

Fucking. Sucks.

I do have some advice, though as with most things, its not magic 🪄

🤬Be mad for a little bit! Allow yourself to feel it. You're not gonna wallow 🐖there, but let it hit you full force how much you dislike being in this bullshit situation. Maybe have a cry about it or throw some darts at his picture 🎯. Then, and only then,

Set it aside. Set the anger aside in your mind, set the situation aside in your discussions. Say "yup, sucks. Moving on..." and enjoy the good parts of your life.

As part of that, remember polyamory is a big ask for people who've never done it before. Him even just politely ignoring you is likely, in his mind, him compromising on everything he's believed in for years and the fundamentals of what his life will look like. That's a big deal. It's hard to do after there was previously a higher standard set, but try to give him some credit for that anyway. (Again. You are probably going to have to Be Mad first to be able to do this. That's okay. Don't skip ahead.)

I don't think having approximately the same attitude back is necessarily a bad strategy. Maybe don't do it with the petulance you presented in the ask 😝 but if you're able to just gently, non-judgmentally accept neutrality as a mode of operating with him... might save you a lot of trouble honestly🤷. Warmth is great and all, but I think it runs the risk of you burning out and feeling greater resentment down the line if it stays one sided (but you know yourself better than I do, so if you can handle it, power to you).

Know your feelings about this really well. Know what you're good with 👍, know what bothers you but you're willing to do for the good of the polycule😖, and know what really upsets you👎. Is this something you can make work long term? What changes would you need to have it work long term (including progress from him, accommodations from your partner, etc)?

Consider confronting him directly. You'll know better if that's actually a good idea in this situation than I will, but consider it. It may help you move past things to air your feelings, it may help him understand you better and vice versa, and it may lay the groundwork for a more functional relationship down the line. I must admit bias here. It is VERY important to me that things can be relaxed with my metas. The idea of refusing to engage with me feels like they're refusing to engage with the very concept of polyamory, and I that cannot work in my life - like, I run a poly blog you can guess how I value polyamory 😂 If you can be comfortable with something closer to parallel polyamory, this may be unnecessary.

And of course, through all of this, you have to talk to your partner. All of it. If you have a tendency to martyr yourself so as not to stress your partner out, overpower that tendency for this one. You are NOT doing your partner any favors by doing bottling it up. 🍾

For example, earlier I said your partner is going to have to balance things between you and your meta. It may be tempting to think you can spare her some of that by shrinking your feelings and needs, so maybe you'll just bite your tongue. However, she has to do the work anyway, and forcing her to work with incomplete information actually makes the balancing that much harder. While you shouldn't harp on them about it, she should know where you're at in all this. You owe your partner the ability to make informed decisions, and your happiness and ability to sustain a certain set-up is going to be an important factor to them! Tell them your misgivings, tell them if its going to take you some time to forgive him his bullshit, tell them if you are okay with something in the short term but don't know if you can spring it long term, tell them if you need a break from thinking about the whole damn situation. (And of course, as always, tell your partner when something feels good or is going well 😊)

It can be recovered. It will require patience. Hang in there. 🤗 I admire your commitment to figuring it out, and it sounds like you have a splendid partner who is just as committed to making it workable. I'm rooting for you all 💙💖🖤