#only problem is I'd have to trust you with people I like despite you being willing to kill... but maybe I would if you get it's a mercy

[camille-plumb]

𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆|| ʙʟᴜᴇʟᴏᴄᴋᵒⁿᵉ ˢʰᵒᵗˢ

Itoshi Sae x Female Reader

▀▄▀▄▀▄𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 || PART 1 ▄▀▄▀▄▀

Song: Telephaty by Kalli Uchis

Warning: Uncensored language, mature language, 18+ content.🔞

••••••••⇆ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ㅤ ▷↻••••••••

For (Y/N) social media was a fun game to escape the boring reality she lived, on the internet she could be whoever she wanted, share her most personal tastes under a fake profile without fear of being criticized or judged for her extravagant tastes.

Posting photos of herself in different styles, wearing miniskirts, garters, tights, lace, and costumes without showing her face was a guilty pleasure she'd acquired over the past few months. No one knew the girl in the photos was her; everything was camouflaged with poses and sleight of hand as she posed for photos in different styles. On her account, she interacted with people who commented and shared their tastes and outfit suggestions without a problem.

What started with innocent outfit posts escalated to receiving gifts from her followers, which grew in number each time, until finally reaching private chats with people who donated money. Although she knew it was wrong, there were two things that motivated her to continue: the first was that she liked posing in the outfits, the game of anonymity seemed very fun to her, and the second: the income they started to have was very useful for her university expenses; After everything was the internet, everything stayed there, once she turned off the computer she could continue with her life peacefully.

The only rule he had was to not show his face. He used masks, blindfolds, and camera angles to achieve this. As long as the model's identity wasn't known, everything would be fine. His anonymity would continue, and so would his game.

(Y/N) didn't expect that fashion post on Instagram to change his life in such an unexpected way.

He had seen a photo of a guy he hadn't followed before, but his style caught his attention. He wasn't the typical influencer who wore luxury brands to impress everyone, regardless of whether the clothes matched or not, or if they were ridiculous but expensive designs. He seemed different, as if he didn't care what others thought, only his style.

The photo showed a casual look: a leather jacket, dark pants, and ankle boots that somehow made him seem even more mysterious. His face wasn't visible, only his hands, his relaxed posture, and that sensual, calm energy emanating from the photo.

Without thinking twice, she followed him, after commenting that the brand wasn't important, but having good style and a good body to show it off. A simple gesture, with no real intention… until the next day, she saw a notification that surprised her. The guy had returned her follow, and with it, a direct message.

"You're one of the few girls who doesn't notice brands, aren't you?"

The message was direct, but something made her smile. (Y/N) didn't know what the guy had, but there was something in his tone that invited her to play.

"I guess it's the least of it. I'd rather see if someone knows how to wear what's in their closet," she replied defiantly, with a hint of flirtatiousness.

He responded immediately.

"I bet you I'm the best with what I wear. Do you dare to challenge me?"

That was it. The spark ignited, and from that moment on, their conversations were daily. They exchanged photos of each other's outfits, made subtle comments, and flirted with every word.

In each of their messages, (Y/N) could feel the tension in the air, even if they didn't see each other face to face. Despite the trust they shared, he never showed his face, and she never asked him to. Upon reviewing his profile, she realized that, like her, he didn't have any photos of his face. Most of the photos were of him in various outfits or wearing jewelry, undoubtedly expensive. The photos were taken from the neck down; there was no trace of his head or face. During her search, she found one photo of him wearing a trench coat from behind, but it had color filters, and the photo only revealed that her mystery man was tall and had a toned body.

There was something about that shadow play that kept her intrigued, as if everything were more exciting that way. As time went by, the teasing and flirting increased on both sides. Despite her self-confidence, when it came to him, she felt small and intimidated. Perhaps she felt that way because he took the initiative from the start, and it seemed like he was pulling the strings in this game.

In one video, he decided to play with her a little more. Without showing his face, he focused the camera on her torso while he searched for her clothes, as if he were teasing her without saying a word. (Y/N) couldn't help but blush, but she also felt curious. He seemed so confident and calculating.

"You see, I told you this look is unrivaled. There's no way you won't like it," she wrote playfully, while adjusting the camera to better capture her figure and send a second video.

(Y/N), with a knowing smile, responded after watching the video of her opponent playing with the belt in his pants, "Maybe I like it, but… I'd like it more if the look was more revealing."

"Maybe it's all I want to show, who knows?" he wrote quickly, not missing the opportunity to make her feel more curious. "You know you just have to ask and I'll do it, or would you rather I let you keep imagining what's hiding behind it?"

The two engaged in a fun game of flirtation and dares that had become a daily routine. It began with an outfit challenge with an innocent comment, escalating into blatant flirting at any time of day. Outfits became shorter and shorter, increasingly crossing the line into seduction. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't deeply attracted to the stranger sending her suggestive photos. Days later, the conversation became just as intense again, but this time with a more personal question. He sent her an unexpected message that evening.

"I dare you to something more fun, (Y/N). Do you dare to talk on the phone?"

She bit her lip as she read it. It wasn't a big surprise, of course, but the idea of ​​hearing his voice intrigued her more than she'd like to admit.

"So you want to hear my voice, huh?" she replied with a mischievous smile. "You'll have to earn the privilege; don't think it'll be easy."

She had barely finished writing when the call came shortly after. (Y/N) anxiously answered, and before she could even say hello, the boy's voice enveloped her.

"Do you know I've been thinking about you all day? I can't stop wondering what it would be like to have you around," he said, his voice deep and soft.

(Y/N), feeling that connection beyond words, answered without much thought: "Mmmm… if you were more daring, maybe I'd be near you right now."

The boy laughed softly, that sound that made (Y/N) feel butterflies in her stomach. "Do you think I'm shy? If you only knew how I imagine you right now…"

"I think I have an idea, darling," (Y/N) replied as she turned on the camera, revealing a sexy black lace lingerie set that included a heart-shaped garter on her left thigh. "Do you like it? It'll come in the mail in the morning," she murmured as she ran her fingers along the garters on her thighs. "The note read: "Wear it when you think of me." She finished, turning her body to show him the small lace that covered her shapely buttocks.

"Oh fuck… baby, you look amazing," the deep voice became heavier, and you could feel the desire filling the room even though they weren't together. (Y/N), hearing his voice filled with desire, couldn't help but keep playing. "I put it on thinking about you, daddy~" she replied, her voice high-pitched as she sat in front of the camera, slowly opening her legs. "I'm going to be a good girl for daddy~"

"Then my baby's going to put on a show for me…" the answer floated in the air as (Y/N) brought his fingers to her center, covered by the tiny lingerie. "Mmm… good girl, now show me that pretty pussy and make it squirt for me."

(Y/N) stifles a moan upon hearing her partner's command. She slowly moves her underwear a little to insert a finger slowly into her center, which was beginning to get wet. The rhythm was slow and deliberate as she let out light moans and gasps. The idea of ​​touching herself in front of a stranger had never been so exciting. The sound of a zipper unzipping causes him to let out a laugh as he closes his eyes and inserts a second finger.

-That's it baby… Touch yourself… Think of it as my fingers on you now, getting ready to take my cock- a clicking sound made her open her eyes to look at her phone's now no longer dark screen, -Ah…daddy~- the moan came out involuntarily as she watched her favorite stranger touch the pink tip of his long cock, it seemed so big compared to her fingers, she knew it would be hard for him to take it. Her pussy clenched around his small fingers, eager at the sight. -mmm… daddy, I want your cock inside me so bad, it looks so big you'll have to force me to take it, you'll have to hold me down and force me to take it…- she said between whimpers, wetting her fingers hard as she watched the stranger squeeze her hand up and down the length of his cock, so much so that it seemed painful, with each word she said between moans, he let out louder and louder sighs as his hand moved faster on his shaft.

"Cum for me baby, give it all to me, get that little pussy wet, thinking about how good it would feel to take me all the way in, mmm… when I reach the bottom and fuck you hard," he replies between loud grunts of pleasure as small drops of semen fall from the tip of his cock. "I'm going to fill you up completely baby, I'll leave your little pussy filled with my thick cum and then I'll take you again and again."

"Ah yes… ah… ah~ … daddy…" (Y/N) let out a loud moan of pleasure accompanied by whimpers as her pussy began to squirt liquid in front of the camera.

"Oh… fuck… baby… If I were next to you I wouldn't let you rest." The last sentence was accompanied by gasps of pleasure as the stranger jerked his cock in her hand, soaking it with cum and reaching her orgasm.

Between laughter and calm words they recovered their breath, both saying goodbye with a satisfied smile on their faces, which even though they couldn't see each other, they knew they had.

A few weeks passed, and after that night, their relationship was never the same; the complicity between them grew stronger. They called each other almost every day; the calls were followed by more video calls, each time in more and more places, becoming more and more brazen. Inevitably, things were revealed; while taking photos or touching each other in the university bathroom, he discovered that his playmate was a university student, and when she saw the background of the locker room in a photo, she realized that he played soccer. Small details they didn't talk about but knew existed. Perhaps they were too comfortable with what they had to ask anything more, or perhaps the desire to have each other was stronger than their curiosity to know more about each other and get entangled in a game of no return.

One night, while they were on another call, he accidentally moved so much that the camera caught a ray of light on his hair. In that brief second, (Y/N) saw something that made her stop dead in her tracks. A logo well known to the soccer world and a flash of red hair, accompanied by turquoise-green eyes, something unmistakable. The boy didn't seem to notice the mistake, continuing to organize his belongings until he finished and cleared his throat to speak.

"Is something wrong, babe? You're so quiet," he asked, his voice relaxed, followed by a tired sigh. "Excuse me, but I have to go now. I have some things to do. Talk to you later, babe."

After the video call ended, (Y/N) remained silent for a moment, processing what she had just seen. It was impossible to go wrong. That white logo of the King and Queen of Spain. While she wasn't a football fan, she wasn't unaware of that logo, which appeared everywhere, even on drinks. And finally, there was that bright red hair and the ice-cold turquoise eyes… There was only one player in the world of football who had hair like that… the self-centered idiot who doesn't respond in interviews and the figure on the cover of the Daily Express's "The most handsome single soccer players of the year"

Itoshi Sae

That night, as she lay in bed, she sat up and began to think about everything that had happened. Did she really want to continue with this? She wondered. She didn't know if she could keep playing the game now that she knew the truth, even though her feelings were confused. Was this just a game to him? What did it really mean? Why, if he's famous and handsome, would he do it?

Fear began to take hold of her, especially when she realized that Sae's identity wasn't just something she'd been hiding, but something that could change the way she saw the world. He wasn't just an ordinary guy. He was a public figure, someone everyone knew. The possibility of her life being exposed, of being pulled into a world she didn't control, terrified her.

Unable to figure it out, (Y/N) decided to take a step back. She closed her phone, turned off notifications, and eventually blocked Sae's fake account. She didn't want to know anything more, not now, not after everything she'd discovered.

Turning in her bed she could see a shiny necklace on her shelf, she opened her eyes wide when she noticed all the gifts she had in her room, she had been stupid, although it was true that she collected everything he sent her through the central mail of her city, he perhaps knew more information about her than she expected, after thinking about it a lot he decided to block her account for a while, he was a famous star, most likely she was one of many on his list, one more game that would be forgotten over time, she just had to hope that he would forget her and everything would return to normal.

The next morning, (Y/N) woke up with her stomach in knots. She'd spent a sleepless night thinking about what she'd done. She decided to ignore her phone, at least in the morning. The monotony of her daily life on a typical weekend seemed to calm her down. With a messy hairstyle, glasses, and unicorn pajamas, she spent the whole day calmly in the tranquility of her apartment. She finished her homework at night, and everything seemed to be back to normal. Nothing had happened here. As she was getting ready for bed, she remembered she'd forgotten her schedule for the week, so she decided to check her phone. Maybe she could call her parents later, she thought with a calm smile.

When she opened her phone, a chill ran through her body when she saw a notification. A notification from Sae Itoshi's personal account.

"Did you think you could disappear so easily?"

The message appeared on her screen, freezing her heart. Her hands began to tremble. She didn't want to look at it. She didn't want to be part of that game anymore. How had she found his personal account?

(Y/N) felt a knot in her stomach as she read his next message:

"I told you this game has no end."

At that moment, she realized what had just happened: Sae hadn't just found her, he was chasing her. He was no longer just a mysterious boy; now he was a shadow in her life, something stalking her from the shadows.

Suddenly, her screen flashed again with another message:

"I know you blocked me, but it's too late. See you soon, Baby girl."

(Y/N), her heart racing, felt everything around her crumble. The story she had thought she had under control now seemed like a nightmare she couldn't escape. And with that final message, she understood that her life had taken a turn she couldn't stop.

The mystery game was over… but the real game was just beginning.

•••••━━━━━━━ •♬• ━━━━━━━••••••

•••••━━━━━━━ •♬• ━━━━━━━••••••

Hiii, would you like a second part of this one shot?

[403tarot]

. . . ♡ BANGCHAN AS A BOYFRIEND – 남친

to start this, it seems like only recently bangchan truly understood the weight a relationship can carry in someone’s life. in my 2025 reading about his love life, i saw that he went through a major heartbreak, and this year his focus would be more on his professional and mental growth. right now, his view on relationships is that they have the power to elevate someone toward success in many areas of life, but just as easily, they can drag someone down into failure with the same intensity. that’s why he feels that relationships need to be built with preparation and maturity from both sides, not just love.

chan longs for a solid relationship, despite the ups and downs that come with being human. he wants someone who can ride those highs and lows with him. someone who, even when going through personal struggles, doesn’t dump all of that into the relationship or use it as an excuse to treat him badly, be distant, or lash out. just as he’d try to keep those things separate, he hopes for someone who can do the same. (i'd say he’s likely had some tough experiences in that area.)

he’s not into relationships full of constant drama or unresolved issues that drag on forever. people who bottle things up, hold grudges, and throw them back in his face later as a "gotcha!" moment really discourage him. he tends to pull away from pessimistic, emotionally distant people, or anyone who doesn’t believe in the relationship, or in him. that kind of energy is a huge turn-off for him!

on the slightly more negative side, even though he has the will and self-awareness to be proactive, take accountability, and make real changes, sometimes bangchan lets himself get too worn out and prefers to sweep problems under the rug instead of facing them head-on. he might hope they’ll just fade away on their own, but by now i think he’s had enough frustrating experiences to realize that doesn’t really work.

like anyone else, he makes mistakes and has his own flaws, and i'd say this is one area he still needs to work on, especially since it goes against a lot of the values he holds when it comes to building a healthy relationship.

i also see that bangchan wants a private relationship. he seems like the kind of person who would prefer to keep his partner out of the public eye, in a protective kind of way. he’s definitely the romantic, caring type, someone who sees the person he loves as precious and feels a strong sense of responsibility toward them (especially considering how public his own life is).

for him, a relationship should be built by two people equally invested in making it work. and he has that initiative, he wants to dive in headfirst and feel that his partner is just as committed as he is. chan’s very romantic and charming. in a relationship, he sees the person he’s with as The One, someone he envisions a real future with (marriage and all). like, he thinks, “one day, she’s going to be my wife.”

he’s the type to get a little obsessed (in a cute way) with the person he’s dating, and he’s definitely emotionally intense. when he’s in love, the whole world just feels different... brighter, softer, more magical. i think he’s one of those people who absolutely loves being in love, loves having someone to come home to, to hug, to share something beautiful with.

he wants to create a sense of stability and trust with his partner, make her feel safe with him and in the relationship so they can start building a long-term future together. so, that seems to be the mindset he wants both of them to have when they’re in a relationship.

book a reading with me and read me yap about idols being just like this with you 🫵🏼 to get delulu. check my pinned to know more <3

[cfyslvr]

Hey i'd like to req Baji x fem reader where fem reader is extremely insecure and feels undeserving of Baji's attention (she also doesn't fit the traditional beauty standards) tyy!!

His fluffy girl

· pairing : baji keisuke + chubby fem!reader

· warnings : mentions of ed/anorexia/bulimia, chubby reader(is that even a warning?), a little angsty but mostly comfort + a tiny bit of suggestive lmao!

· summary : opening up to your silly bf about your insecurities, he genuinely doesn't get it

· a/n : I'm living for the baji lovers in my requests! requester didn't really specify what body type they had in mind but I'm assuming its a chubbier body type 😭 I'm so sorry if I'm wrong- also this is so comforting to me too since I'm on the bigger side too so I feel like I'll enjoy writing this 🥹 thank you for requesting !!

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

- you and your bf have been together for around a year or so

- he loves you dearly

- you can't exactly say that you feel insecure because of him, it's quite the opposite actually

- the problem is that you have an attractive boyfriend and, as expected, there would be girls who are into him despite the fact he's very open about being taken by you

- we all know there are those annoying ahh girls who won't stop even if a guy is taken 🤷🏻‍♀️ (gosh I hate those types of people)

- you, being slightly on the thicker side, can't help but wonder if you're really that deserving of baji's love..

- i mean, he treats you like an absolute queen

- there are so many skinnier and "prettier" girls he can be with if he wanted to

- so why isn't he?

- not that you're doubting his love for you!!

- you just don't understand him

- so one day you finally decide to sit him down and open up about your insecurities

- he would listen to every single word that comes out of your mouth with great interest

- and when you're done he'll hit u with the "fym?"

- unironically.

- it's not that he wasn't listening, he just doesn't get it

- like fym my super funny, cute, amazing gf feels insecure cuz I have more of her to hug??

- again, he's not mocking you or making fun of you for being insecure

- he just thinks you're so perfect already and it genuinely doesn't get into his head how someone like you can be insecure

- let's be honest, he doesn't seem like the type of person that would be the best at comforting you 😭

- he does it in his own.. unique way

"I think I'm ugly.."

"well you're wrong?"

- and he's DEAD SERIOUS too

- i feel like it would take him a moment or two take the situation more seriously

- like for a few minutes he would just be (playfully) gaslighting you into thinking your opinion on yourself is loud and wrong 😭

- after seeing that his lighthearted and playful gaslighting wasn't working, he starts taking the situation a little more seriously

"what made you think like this?"

- trust me he is READY to go and beat the LIFE out of whoever made you doubt yourself

"no one, kei, I just don't understand.. you could be with whoever you want-"

"and I want you??"

- he's not joking.

- he means it.

- he might not be the best at comforting but he's GREAT at speaking his own opinion

"if I didn't like you the way you are I wouldn't be with you 🤷🏻‍♀️" simple as that

- you two end the conversation somewhere at that point

- but did your insecurities stop there?

- well no not exactly

- I mean yeah, you were convinced that baji liked you the way you were

- but you still believe he deserves better

- he might not notice immediately how you start eating less and less

- or how, even when you do eat, you suddenly have to use the bathroom after every meal

- only did he notice it when he was passing the bathroom and heard you gagging

- he immediately barges in and sees you over the toilet, trying to make yourself throw up

- he's so confused and so worried :((

"what happened?? you looked like you were enjoying the food??"

- he takes you to his bedroom and sits you down, demanding an explanation

- you finally explain to him that you're sick and tired of not fitting into beauty standards and not feeling pretty

- you tell him everything

- and he just stands there like 🧍🏻‍♀️

- takes him a few seconds to process everything before he just hugs you

- tightly

- I'm saying you can barely breathe

- and now that you've opened up, it's his turn to open up

- he starts telling you everything he likes about you

- how he loves hugging you because you're so comfy, how he loves when you take his clothes cuz they look big on you, how he loves resting his head on your tummy because is so soft and comfortable

- not once would he use the words "fat" or "chubby"

- he calls you "thicc" or "fluffy"

- idk how to explain it I just see him like that LMAO

- he understands that recovering from eds isn't as easy as 123

- he's willing to be patient for once

- he starts helping you slowly recover from it

- if it's anorexia he would help you start eating again

- he would (ask his mom to) make some food for you

- wouldn't force it down your throat, obv

- but he would try make you eat it

- if its bulimia, he would be super overprotective

- doesn't let you go to the bathroom right after a meal

- like you could sht yourself right here and now he's not letting you 😭

- he's trying okay!!

- he would try to make you let him come to the bathroom to make sure you're not going to throw up everything

- he would also distract you when you start having negative thoughts of yourself with play fighting

"I said I'd beat up anyone who talks badly of you, including yourself"

- obviously wouldn't actually hurt you

- he'd just tickle you and wouldn't let you go until you say something nice about yourself

"k-kei please I can't!!"

"I'm not stopping until you do what I told you"

"f-fine, fine!! I'm pretty, I-I'm worthy of love!! I love my body!!"

"that's more like it"

- would attack you with kisses after that

- if you feel insecure because you can't fit in your clothes?

- best believe he's gonna go to mitsuya and ask him to hand make you clothes that would fit

- hypes you up frfr

"who tf let you look that hot??" 🤨

- you're in your pjs, hair all messed up, eyes droopy since you just woke up

"are u fr? kei, look at me."

"hot."

- and he means it

- he would downplay your insecurities by proving you're much lighter than you think you are

"kei, I'm giant!"

"oh yeah?" 🤨

- challenge accepted

- lifts you up into the air with ease

- puts you on his shoulder like in that tiktok trend (I literally love it sm wth 😭)

"you're real light for a giant."

- would also encourage you to sit on his lap

- yes he can feel the weight, yes he likes your weigh on him

- might get hard from it 💀

- all in all, he loves you, and NO ONE is allowed to talk badly about his girl, not even you yourself :P

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

© cfyslvr 2025 · please don't use/repost my content without permission!!

[genderqueerdykes]

Hi! another Nonbinary person affected by transandrophobia/exosexism here, I sent one message but felt like I didn't have m thoughts in line in regards to specific examples of m experience, so here's a more comprehensive (but not exhaustive) list. (Note: I'm including examples of both because in my experience the transandrophobia and exosexism are deeply intertwined) 1) Grew up in a very trans-friendly Anglican community, and when I was nine I thought I'd try going by any pronouns. I dropped that within six months after no one took it seriously and only called me she/her.

2) When I first considered being trans at thirteen, I went back in the closet mostly because of that transtrender shit. It was 2017 but I'd seen the anti-SJW movement use it so much in my preteens that I thought I was a girl faking being trans for attention 3) When I was 15 and came out, m parents took me to a "Gender therapist" who repeatedly dismissed my problems and misgendered me intentionally because she didn't take my transition seriously. 4) my school just happened to be making a "Girls and nonbinary club", which upset me a lot because I didn't want to be lumped in with the girls 5) When I was 17, well out of the closet by now, a stranger at school began intentionally dead naming me at school every day just to be malicious because I was seen as a weak girl and an easy target. I corrected him politely or ignored him for two months until he deadnamed me into a microphone at a grad event in front of the entire grade-- including friends who hadn't known my dead name 6) when I started T, it had to be delayed because the didn't trust me to make a decision about my own reproductive health. Despite the fact I was medically emancipated, they demanded my parent's consent to me possibly losing my fertility.

thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience, it's important that you are heard. i am so sorry you have gone through all of these things, none of that is necessary. i don't know why people think they have the right to be so invasive and mean. what the fuck. take care of yourself anon, you didn't deserve any of that

[leavemebetosleep]

Alright here's a short version of how I'd fix Bride of Discord. As a sort of mental editing exercise.

While not really a good fic for a lot of reasons, Bride of Discord actually has a lot of potential as a story. There's a lot of great imagery, and it has a lot of fic tropes I like and are fun to read. I actually would probably change less than some people would. (If your "rewrite" doesn't keep any of the original anything, it's not actually a rewrite babes)

It's just that a lot of stuff in it is maybe played from the wrong angle.

Also there's no saving the Applejack/Spike thing. That's just gross. I think you could keep a similar subplot, just change it so AJ's crushing on someone else. I like AppleDash, but RariJack would probably work the best here. Maybe in this version she's afraid to confess bc she thinks Rarity is straight since she's so femme.

As for the main couple, I think you could actually make the demanding a wife thing work, just have it play out differently.

Like, Discord is old. He spent a lot of time as a statue, and might not be up to date on modern society. Maybe instead of it being a VERY creepy request that screams "sex slavery" make his request explicitly a somewhat less creepy political marriage.

That was common back in his day, and he IS trying to make a peace treaty with Twilight. Being married to one of her people is a show of good faith, that she won't go back on her word, and he won't go back on his, as well as metaphorically uniting their kingdoms.

He doesn't care who it is, because he's not intending to fall in love with them. At best they're gonna be an extended house guest.

They can even point out that's dated and weird, but he can also counter he doesn't know how else to get a proper show of trust. He doesn't trust them with his own safety, but he does trust they won't go after one of their own.

That could also play into why he's so insistent they get married already. Fluttershy trying to avoid the marriage once she's in his kingdom makes it feel like he's being set up, and like the treaty is tenuous. Or maybe he's even suspicious that she's avoiding because the ponies don't plan to stick to their deal.

That could even factor int the climax, but I'll get there.*

Discord can be lonely, and he can still also be a little desperate for companionship, but I don't think that should be his reason for the marriage. Otherwise he could've just asked for a companion, not a wife. Plus, I feel like per-reformation Discord would be in denial about being lonely. I think he'd only start to realize how much he's been missing out on until AFTER he's gotten to know Flutters.

*So in the climax, Fluttershy declares she doesn't love him bc her friends are badgering her, and he gets creepy possessive and tries to hypnotize her and there's a fight and what-not.

Yeah, instead of that what if it's his paranoia that she's avoiding getting married because they plan to betray him coming to a head?

He hears Fluttershy say something to her friends that out of context sounds like they're going to blast him back into stone after all. So he's think she's a traitor who played him for a fool.

I'd nix the hypnotism, just have him and the six fight it out, and then he kicks everyone out before Fluttershy can explain because he's heartbroken and doesn't want anyone to see.

Lot of minor fixes I'd throw in too, cutting out plot threads that go nowhere. Less heteronormativity. Fixing a LOT of OOC-ness. A LOT.

Oh and I'd change Discord's backstory too. The Megamind rip off thing is meh, and I think Discord's a character you could do a lot more interesting things with that that.

As for Fluttershy, a huge problem I have with this fic is she lacks real agency. I want her to choose to go with Discord, not out of the weird sense of feeling she has to sacrifice herself. (It comes off, for lack of a better word, suicidal.)

Maybe instead, she chooses to go because despite her shyness, she's bold when it matters. She will stand up to him. She's not going to be afraid of him anymore. She's gonna tame him like every other wild animal she's had to deal with, and save her home in the process. She's going to come back. He can't keep her there if she really decided to leave.

Have her be the Fluttershy who tried and failed to use her stare on him.

Also, in the original I never at any point felt like she fell in love with him. Just that she gave up resisting his advances. She's always wary and hesitant to do anything with him. That's fine for the beginning of their relationship, but for this to be a good love story that has to change at some point.

Where's the moment she realizes she finds him a little attractive actually? He's weird looking, but he's so confident and funny and fun and that's really appealing. Where's the part where she's having fun and forgets she's a prisoner? Where's the real bonding? Setting boundaries?

Maybe she convinced Discord to let her friends visit, not because she's marrying him already, but because she convinces him to try to make other friends. And he does it, because he loves her already at this point. And she thinks if he and her friends could get along, they could work thing out. Maybe she was hoping things would go well so she could tell him she wanted to marry him after all.

Maybe she really did want her friends at her wedding, but also to be able to have her parents, her brother.

This last bit has nothing to do with the author's writing. This fic was originally written before the show ended, and we got a lot of lore afterwards she couldn't have known about. That's not her fault she couldn't see the future. But just for my sanity, I'd add in more cannon lore.

And uh. I guess that's all got with what I remember of it. Yeah.

[thefandomenchantress]

Gahhhh I love sharks. Sharks are so cool. And that makes Desmond so cool.

I wouldn't call myself a shark expert or anything, but I'm so happy they're using a shark as his motif because there's so many things you can do with it.

First of all, I firmly believe that he's not going to be a culprit, or if he is, it won't be out of malicious intent. That's because of the most obvious but also one of my favorite parts about sharks, which is that they have a bad reputation and are accused of being mean and bloodthirsty, when they actually aren't.

Sharks rarely attack humans, and when they do, it's almost always because they think you're a seal or something. More vending machines kill people than sharks do a year. In fact, COWS kill more people than sharks do a year. And COCONUTS!!! Sharks only manage to kill around 5 humans per year. But unfortunately, a certain movie tricked people into thinking that wasn't the case...stares at Jaws accusingly.

Which perfectly leans into how Desmond was suspected in the trial, because of his whole talent being sharpshooting and him having weapons in his room. Despite the fact his room was unguarded for long periods of time, people were immediately suspicious of him, and with a talent like his, I wouldn't be surprised if that continues to happen during trials. They'd ask, how did the killer do this to the victim (or crime scene)? And the answer would often be: Well, if they had Desmond's talent or one of his weapons...

Personally, I think I'm probably on the victim side for Desmond so far, just because I've read about people overhunting sharks to the point that a lot of shark species (40%!) are close to extinction. This is for quite a few reasons, but many places still fail to properly monitor the hunting of sharks, only exasperating the problem. Maybe someone will kill him because they think he's a threat in some way? Or, in an ironic turn of events, Desmond, who is guarding the only one he trusts, is left unguarded himself? Or maybe not. He's also a good survivor pick, I like him.

And his friendship with Eloise...At first, I thought that their friendship was cool but not great, but I'm REALLY starting to love them as a duo. The shark, who has a bad reputation despite not having bad intentions, and the swan, who despite being known as elegant, can actually be pretty violent. Especially when they're protecting something...Like their best friend...

(Honestly if Eloise killed to protect Desmond it'd be so cool. I'd be so down for them covering for each other no matter what it'd be so fun. And people would be all mad at Desmond, who would ask if he was just supposed to let his best friend die because of him and--).

They guard each other in a way, since sharks can often symbolize protection (+his secret), and the stuff I rambled about above for Eloise. They're just cool together.

A few facts that could be used in a Desmond killer/victim situation:

-Sharks can sense electricity (well, sort of)

-They don't have vocal chords, so they can't make noises like dolphins or other animals do

-They can see pretty well in the dark

(Then again, there was already a blackout so I'm not sure they'll ever have another culprit use darkness to their advantage, and electrocution was also already used, so...I guess I'll just take him knowing stuff about tasers as a reference to the electricity)(But hey, Desmond somehow being silenced during a murder isn't off the table).

So anyways the point is, sharks are cool as fuck and so is Desmond. His design rocks, his chill demeanor is always welcome, and overall I just really like him and his shark motif.

[hailcatbird]

Mediocre Medicinal Man, I sure do wonder which mercenary he is meant to be!

My favorite merc is Medic so this is probably going to be rather long.

He has something 'faulty' with his head, therefore he takes medication he calls his "Mediocre Medicine." Nobody knows what is actually in the medication, nor why exactly he needs it, all they know is that it calms him down. If I were to state his symptoms or what I think he has, I'd say he'd have ADHD, contamination anxiety, is professionally socially awkward, and have depressive tendencies, along with his standard medic-ness.

His favorite drink is milk, which sold in bags in wherever he lives. He is genderfluid, but most commonly presents masculine, and he really only switches from male to nonbinary depending on the day. He reminds me of music by The Quick Brown Fox and would probably really like that kind of music. Anything fast, really, he and the scout only tolerate each other because of shared music tastes and ADHD. I'm 90% sure he'd adore the game "Milk Inside a Bag of Milk Inside a Bag of Milk", but he's also not super aware of those around him and their problems despite being relatively open-minded. He is also dating Sandals, the heavy weapons expert. His hat was a "You Have Put Up With My Shenanigans for a Decent Amount of Time!" gift from the heavy.

His skin feels like a mix of leather and human flesh, like a vampire. He doesn't ever stop smiling unless he is in a severe amount of distress, but even then it looks far more pained that like a frown. He still has his birds, and the one he is closest to is a crow named Anorexia. When he found her, she was unreasonably thin and struggled to find trust around him while eating, thus earning her that name. Even though he knows that isn't what the disorder is at all, he finds the name nice and if people ask about it, he can explain it more. Disorders and all things anatomy would probably count as a hyper fixation he has.

Alright, last thing, he cannot go to the grocery store/market on his own. All of the dull colors mixed with bright lights and all the cold, commercial smells make him unable to read or focus. It makes him uncomfortable. He's upset at himself for having to always ask someone else to go with him in order to read the shopping list and keep him going in the right direction.

[wordpress-blaze-46176525]

"Warriors" by Samuel David: The Sci-Fi Debut Redefining Multiverse Adventures for Young Adults

Discover "Warriors" by Samuel David, releasing May 27th. This groundbreaking YA sci-fi novel follows fourteen-year-old Aaron Hunter through multiple dimensions in a cosmic war that will determine humanity's fate.

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A Cosmic Battle with Earth at Stake

When fourteen-year-old science prodigy Aaron Hunter finally meets his disgraced scientific hero, Eric Woods, he never expects to be violently thrust into an ancient cosmic war that Earth never knew existed. Now, wielding mysterious powers and fighting alongside unlikely allies, Aaron must confront an unknown and brutal being who holds the key to Earth's extinction.

But as the stakes rise, Aaron faces the most difficult truth of all: becoming the warrior humanity needs may cost him everything—including his humanity itself.

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Early reviewers are already hailing "Warriors" as a breakthrough in young adult science fiction:

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Recommended for: Young adult readers and sci-fi enthusiasts ages 13 and up.

Source: "Warriors" by Samuel David: The Sci-Fi Debut Redefining Multiverse Adventures for Young Adults

[qoldenskies]

Hi, this is a silly question, but welp. Do you think publishing new content on ao3 pays off? I feel like the fandom is dying a bit and I don't know if it's worth writing ff :((

maybe this is just my personal opinion because i wasnt here at the height of the hype especially in 2022 (i watched the show in march 2024 and got into the fandom in june), but the rise fandom is not dying, dont worry.

there are posts here that frequently get thousands of notes, sometimes within days, fics that have gotten pretty popular that are RECENT, a whole culture of aus and events and zines that are still running.

ive been in dying fandoms (the pjo book fandom is so dead yall its joever) and in fandoms that were never even big in the first place (i was in a niche pokemon webcomic community that had upwards of maybe like 40 people active in its discord server, and most of the adults there were republicans or child groomers or usually both .... i know hell, i was there for like four years. trust me) and i havent been in a community as big as rise's since liiike. 2019, i think!

and regardless of any new official content coming out, its also good to note that there are a lot of active and dedicated tmnt fans who make official content for other, much older iterations too, and ive noticed a lot of the people who do are older which is definitely a good thing. fandoms at the peak of their hype are usually INSANELY preteen-infested and it's not a good environment i think should be desired. the discourse i see going around on tiktok right now is deranged but its not new by any means. i REFUSE to be a boomer because im only 18 and i know what its like to be 12, but i do not desire nor envy that kind of fame BAHFHDHGH

but like still. point i was getting to is that even if its not at its peak of popularity i dont think the fandom will be dying any time soon and it's not something to be afraid of. i can cite several fics that did wonderfully in numbers (although i dont recommend basing quality off that, its just important to note) despite being recent and have had the fandom in a chokehold as of late. canary continuity could probably count as one of those considering how crazy it was around november or so..... i miss november :')

i think we all kind of see ourselves like drops of water in a bucket and hesitate to come in so strong because we underestimate the importance of our own voices, especially because fandom attracts very socially anxious people, but a lot of the anxiety about engagement can be mitigated by engaging yourself and being the change you want to see! this also counts with creating content-- the thing about ao3 is that you can have completely different audiences for different fics unlike other platforms from what i've seen, so something may flop at first and then do really well later, or even take a while to kick off (cvd and coming undone have been getting some love lately ive noticed... i keep telling myself i'll continue them and then forgetting)

i'd say its definitely worth a shot to post, because ive noticed that ao3 comment sections are overwhelmingly positive in most cases. ive gotten some passive-aggressive or pushy comments before (usually out of confusion because they werent paying attention, which isnt my fault, or because theyre excited and what to see more, which i still do find flattering) but its always been in a sea of a lot of really wonderful people, which has been really helpful because i have disabling anxiety and constantly doubt myself haha.

i think the advice i see a lot of "write for yourself" is kind of unhelpful and doesn't get to the root of the problem because i think it takes away from the fact that art is such a deeply social part of human expression, and we create it to share it,,, i think a better way to put it is that you should write self-indulgently, and there's always a good chance of finding your people by the time you're finished-- i've connected with a lot of people with VERY similar tastes to me because of my writing and it's been miraculous because as great as my other friends are, their interests vary wildly from mine LOL. its worth it even if you dont kick off immediately!!! and of course i urge everyone to engage with artists and writers whenever you can, it means the world to them!!

[batsplat]

hi bat, do you have any thoughts on how this motogp season is unfolding? (i also want to say that after marc's crash i religiously read any of your old posts mentioning qatar isn't as bad of a track for him to calm myself down and thank you for being right<3)

did i say that?? i mean fwiw for my own purposes i'm a big fan of track-specific performance metrics because i just like how pronounced a rider/bike profile there is in motogp, it's such a stats-friendly thing where it's really fun to dig into (if you're a fucking loser). so i do have stuff on how i think each track would lean in a 'all other things being equal, they finish valencia exactly tied in the points' season, and i had qatar soft-leaning pecco. ig we'll never really know what might have been without the quali crash but... incidentally i had jerez as a medium-lean pecco so if that's also a no-go then i think at a certain point you can quite safely call it. marc was never dreadful in qatar because he's not dreadful anywhere, but even controlling for honda qatar performances it's defo not one of his strongest tracks

anyway. i only got this ask after i'd answered the other one after which it sat in my drafts forever, which you can consult for general motogp takes. so i was like. idk what to say. but i realise i DO have a topic i feel ready to get on my soapbox about. i wish to give my pedro acosta rant

i have been doing my best to avoid motogp discourse but sometimes one Hears things. and i have Heard certain quarters wanting a reevaluation of acosta in light of his shaky start of the season. the argument, so it goes, is that he has continued crashing a lot in his sophomore season, that if he were really as good as everyone said he was by now he'd be finishing highly up despite the problems with his equipment, that vinales has shown you can be fast with that bike, that [insert other rider of your choice] wasn't doing this at this stage of their career. that people have overhyped acosta, that he might be good but won't end up as good as [insert rider]. and i wish to say. this is all rubbish. will he be as good as [insert rider]? will he win twenty titles? idk. am i reevaluating him based on ANYTHING i have seen this year? no. we still do not know how good this guy will ultimately prove to be. we have all the signs there to suggest he has the potential to be one of those truly s-tier riders, the doohan/valentino/casey/marc tier, or 'at least' an alien-level talent. we do not know what trajectory he will follow, maybe he will end up being significantly worse than that. maybe he will be That Guy. we don't know

the thing about the aliens is that by year two At The Latest in their premier class careers, they were all on title-winning machinery. four out of five were on machinery capable of winning the championship in year one, with the only exception being casey (and 3/5 were in the team what won the title). i kinda feel like 500cc is holistically different enough from motogp bikes we should maybe exclude valentino from some of this conversation, like you kinda get the vibe a lot of his developmental process was 'learning to trust the bike won't kill him'. with that proviso, acosta's rookie season did just have the vibe of what would happen if you put any of the aliens on non-title winning machinery. he got some remarkable results like for instance a podium in his second race. from the limited evidence of his pre motogp career, i think it's fair to say he's not a single lap specialist, but he's shown plenty of evidence of genuine qualifying pace including that mildly fugazi motegi pole (fwiw mr rossi did not get a pole in his first premier class season At All despite finishing second in the championship). he crashed a lot. which, yes, that'll happen when you're a rookie. to his credit, marc mostly managed to keep that stuff out of races - but he was also on a truly excellent, well-developed, easily rideable bike that he neither had to nor was motivated to override to get good results. when the second half of your season is a defensive title charge, you're less likely to crash that shit than when straining for an unlikely result that feels more important than your overall championship position

i basically think all pedro vs marc comparisons are stupid because you straight up do not know how they would've handled each other's respective situations. i do however think there is a rookie season acosta's does resemble

now acosta's rookie season was better than this, he was considerably more loved by his factory than this particular rider was, but the vibe is similar. casey got pole for his second race, almost secured a win in his third, then did a whole lot of crashing - probably at least in significant part because michelin (shakes fist) was running experiments on him and because he did not have a competent crew chief to guide him. his season kinda semi unravelled post le mans ... he was fighting in the lead group when crashing in mugello, he led from the start (twice, cf the red flag) in catalunya and crashed after losing the lead to valentino, he fought dani in assen and valentino in donington, he fucked up his body at the sachsenring, and after that it was kinda a grind. at estoril, he not only crashed himself out but also injured sete badly enough to rule him out of the last race at valencia. then, casey gets an offer from ducati, a seat he was the second choice for and could've easily gone to someone else. the ducati was very fast but also very capricious - and was paired with the bridgestone tyres that have a considerably better front end feel than the michelins, which had been the primary reason for all those rookie season crashes

(a reminder of how quickly things can change lol - obviously casey did not have a single race crash in 2007 and had his first race crash on a ducati at .... .................... well. you know. anyway the point is i think in retrospect we can all agree casey was a pretty decent rider)

now, let us imagine for a moment a world in which casey does not get that deal and instead stays with lcr honda, where he gets a factory-supported-but-not-quite bike on shitty michelins. what do you think his results look like on that ?? you think he would have stopped crashing?? i'm not saying these situations are completely comparable - acosta's stocks are considerably higher than alt!casey's would've been, acosta knows manufacturers will still want to have him, he's got more job security, he's also a somewhat more sanguine character than casey (who in this timeline probably would've stabbed a michelin engineer) (also i suppose in this timeline maybe you wouldn't get the single tyre rule, or indeed the current ducati situation - single most influential rider market move this century?) and is more of a bratty jorge type than a neurotic headcase casey type. but the general point is, him having very febrile results currently does not in and of itself tell us shit about his ultimate potential. it tells us that the ktm project is a mess

'aha!' you say. 'but what about vinales at qatar! the fact that acosta's being so summarily outperformed by someone in his stable shows he's not that guy!' no i'm sorry. no. vinales does this sometimes. idc if it's a new bike, this can happen, he's extremely talented in his own right and will just randomly receive unholy powers on a random weekend. (i think in retrospect given his super fast adaptation to yamaha and his qatar weekend with ktm, maybe aprilia really wasn't suited to him and that slowed down the adaptation process.) it also tells me less than nothing that acosta hasn't asserted himself against his fellow factory riders early in the season. this can happen to anyone, even the very best. was valentino washed when this happened against a bald rookie (who also got pole in all three of those races mind u)

was casey washed when this happened against hayden, who i think everyone would agree was not that impressive a force anymore post 2006

was marc washed when this happened, at a time where again i think it's fair to say dani was past his best and wasn't really an alien calibre rider anymore

no!! obviously not!! and none of rookie jorge, post 2006 hayden or washed dani are a more frightening prospect than vinales who will occasionally be possessed by a creature from the great beyond! hell, fabio's 2021 title season started with a race vinales won and fabio was fifth in. it happens! everyone gets vinales'd now and again! keeps you humble! that guy could've been a motogp champion if he weren't. y'know. like he's good!

acosta is dealing with three very highly rated riders - nobody on the s tier, sure, but riders who have occasionally flirted with the a tier! acosta is young and annoyed and is having to deal with the kind of significant frustration that, again, it's worth pointing out none of the aliens did in their sophomore season - aka 'the manufacturer you wanted to win a title with being bankrupt' - and his start of the season has been spotty. if we reach valencia and he's trailing vinales in the championship, then please write in and we can collectively clown what i've written in this post. but we are four rounds in

this current situation we've got in motogp where probably elite level riders are locked out of title contending machinery for seasons on end is... kinda unprecedented in the modern era and extremely frustrating ?? but this is partly why you get such reactionary takes about this guy that just do not stack up! idk if he's going to be the next valentino rossi or the next marc marquez, but ik that with the correct machinery he MIGHT be. i hope he gets that machinery so we can see! crucially he showed enough in his rookie season that i have no doubt the potential is there, and this is not a take i will reevaluate after a few crashes. just be happy the aliens were spared so unserious an organisation as 'kay tee em' and move on, my god

[laauranenn]

in wbk fandom you can't have conversation about the writing, development and complexity, this fandom is overprotective about nii's mid writing, Any comments about his flaw in writing characters or this plot will be shut down , fandom only cares about shipping and yaoi

the side characters especially umemiya are well fleshed out with detailed backstories , everything in the plot literally revolve around umemiya , the antagonists like choji and chika revolved around their obsession with ume , tsubakino and sugishita backstories included ume too ,nii is focusing on exploring umemiya and his past more than his mc Sakura

Nii can't make Sakura the center of the plot, the plot always revolves around the side cast and their issues ,while the problem Sakura has with trusting people has been addressed and nearly settled, the root cause is still left in the wind. It feels like the issue was addressed, but Sakura himself specifically never got his past elaborated on, but there is prime opportunity for angst and character moments, as well as just humanizing Sakura.

Thank you so much for responding!!

When I said I want to have a conversation, I meant it!! I agree that when you've got a fandom for something, the fans tend to be protective of the media and its author, and that shipping is something that is very prominent in fandom spaces.

But for the sake of this conversation, I'm going to do my best to ignore shipping that isn't confirmed or implied in the manga, and I'm going to acknowledge flaws in the writing if the points you bring up are convincing!

(If it becomes relevant, I'll only bring up things such as Endo and Takiishi's relationship and Tsubaki's affection for Umemiya, but I don't think they'll be something I need to really get into. )

I disagree with all the plot revolving solely around Umemiya, despite how relevant he is to most arcs in the manga.

The reason that Umemiya is so relevant, and is so present in the story, is because Sakura is going to take his spot someday. Sakura comes to Furin intending to take the top spot, a position that is currently filled by Umemiya.

For Sakura to make it to the top and it mean something, we need to understand what the position truly entails, and how it came to be. Which is what all the information we get on Umemiya is for. We're learning of his journey to the top and how he has shaped the world and its inhabitants.

For Choji and the Shishitoren arc, I'd like to argue that his obsession with Umemiya is about his position, and not about Umemiya himself. Choji and Umemiya are essentially in the same position, just in different teams. Which is why Choji focuses on Umemiya the way he does.

Choji and Togame share the same notion of power being a means to freedom. Choji latches onto this and decides that he wants to be the strongest, and therefore the freest. But when he reaches his goal of being the strongest, it turns out to not be like how he imagined, and the team takes a turn for the worst because of this.

Umemiya, however, is the strongest of his team. Yet he isn't experiencing the same boredom and despair as Choji is, despite being at the top. This is what Choji is so focused on. It's less about Umemiya as a person and is instead about the position he's in.

Sakura does also play an important role in the Shishitoren arc. The whole conflict likely wouldn't have started, or wouldn't have gone the way it did if it weren't for Sakura being there. Without him, the conflict likely would've been resolved differently.

Sakura and Togame's fight is important for both characters. For Sakura, he has a fight with someone where they both respect each other, likely for the first time. And for Togame, Sakura opens his eyes to the ways he's been acting, the ways he's gone against his own beliefs in order to salvage what is left of Shishitoren.

As for Tsubakino and Sugishita, they've both known him for years and he's played an important part in their lives.

For Tsubakino, Umemiya has been his friend since their first year in junior high. He learns that Tsubakino just wants to be himself and love the things he loves, which Umemiya praises him for, and tells him he's going to help back him up if someone tries to hurt him again. And they've been close friends all the way to where we currently are in the manga! Umemiya shows up in Tsubakino's story because he's relevant. It'd also be a little strange for Tsubakino to be one of the four kings without Umemiya showing up somehow, don't you think?

And with Sugishita, Umemiya also plays a similar role. Sugishita gets himself stuck in a spiral of meaningless fights he doesn't even want to be a part of, which Umemiya then saves him from. Umemiya saves him and brings him the peace he wants. This then manifests into his loyalty to Umemiya, as well as his friendship with the four kings.

With Sugishita, this also gives us insight into why he seems to hate Sakura so much. From the start we've known the main reason for it, which is Sakura aiming for Umemiya's spot in the school. But with the most recent chapters, we see why exactly he is so offended by this idea. Umemiya brought Sugishita peace, something that Sakura is actively disrupting. How could someone like Sakura, who's constantly snapping at people, and running into fights possibly measure up to Umemiya and what he's done for Sugishita?

It adds another layer to Sakura and Sugishita's rivalry, which I find incredibly interesting!

It's true that a lot of side characters are getting detailed backstories, while Sakura hasn't really had one yet. But in my opinion, this works out nicely with the way it's executed. It adds to the worldbuilding and makes the characters and the town feel more real, more solid.

I've really enjoyed learning about all the characters, as well as their relationships with each other. It makes Makochi and Furin feel like actual places with actual people, rather than just something that's there to only serve the main character.

As for Sakura's lack of backstory? I can see why you're itching for one, but I can't see it fitting into the story well if we got it right now. I also don't think that there even is a lot to it, not a lot to tell. We've already got a lot of info about Sakura and why he is the way he is, even without a proper backstory.

Even the first chapter makes Sakura's past very clear. He's a boy who's been mistreated for his looks for his entire life. It's brought up a couple times in the first few chapters even.

"How ya look doesn't matter in a fight, that's why I came to Furin"

"This is more like it. This is the right reaction. Everyone is always pushing me away, rejecting me, dismissing me-"

Sakura is someone who's been isolated growing up. This shines through in the way he interacts with others. Sakura is much more confident in a fight, he handles himself better in a fight. But when he interacts with others in a casual setting, he stumbles and gets flustered easily. A lot of the things that show just how alone he's been are subtle or might even be played as jokes, such as the only contact in his phone being a bot that gives you the weather forecast for the day. He also takes things literally. This could be just a trait of his, but it's likely a result of his lack of experience in social situations.

It's a lot of little things that add up. He's slow at texting because he's had nobody to text. He holds a spoon weirdly, likely because nobody corrected him growing up. Doesn't know how to open a Ramune bottle as he's never had one before. (This last one could also just be coincidence, but it all does still add up.)

I'm satisfied with how much we know about Sakura, but I'd love to hear what you'd like to get from a Sakura backstory!! Because it is true we haven't gotten a lot of info on where he was before Makochi.

The lack of backstory for him is because Wind Breaker isn't about his past, it's about him moving forward from it. It's about how Sakura makes a space for himself in Makochi. It's a story about him being accepted, about how a boy hated by all others becomes the hero of the town!

Please do respond again!! Share what you think of what I've said and give me your own observations! I'd love to keep the conversation going :)!!

[traumadumpwriter]

Memory Games - 6

A dark Maze Runner romance between a very damaged girl and our soft boy Newt. With trigger warnings for self harm, abuse, assault, PTSD, mentions of suicide and general violence. Also written in the style of multiple POVs.

"All that was clear was that they were all boys - all of them - and it filled me with even more dread, instinctually defensive and fearful of the opposite sex. Even if I couldn't remember anything specific about where I'd come from, I knew that men were dangerous."

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Masterlist

Chapter Six

*Angel’s POV*

My dreams were pleasant for the first time since I'd arrived in the Glade. No confusing visions of sterile rooms, vacant deserts and distressed shouting. Instead, it was Newt's grinning face and a field of green that complimented my slumber. I couldn't remember the specifics of the dream, other than his voice gently saying "My beautiful angel" and as I thought of it it made my stomach flutter.

I was surprised when I woke up to hear noise outside, my last two mornings being relatively silent and calm, and when I looked up and saw the sun beaming through the window, I realised that I must've slept in late.

"Shit. No slacking. I better get up." I thought, jumping out of bed and to the window, seeing the movement of many boys outside. It was then that I heard a knock at the door, followed by a deep voice saying "Wake up Greenie. You're with the track-hoes today."

I recognised it as Alby's voice, although we'd hardly spoken, and I was slightly confused as to why he was the one greeting me and not Newt. That confusion was quickly squashed by excitement though as I remembered that Newt was a track-hoe, meaning I'd be spending the day with him.

"Sorry. One second." I called through the door, pulling on a shirt and brushing my fingers through my hair before opening it.

"Morning." I smiled and Alby smiled back, a real one unlike the one of false comfort he'd given me before.

"Morning Greenie. Can I stop calling you that yet?"

I thought for a moment before giving my answer. I still hadn't remembered my name, and I had a horrible feeling that it wouldn't ever come, and so in a split second I decided to keep the name that Newt had gave me. I wasn't sure if it really suited me, especially given I was the only one who knew about the marks under my clothes, but the way it made me feel was nice - soothing even. And I trusted Newt's judgment for some reason, really trusted it.

"Yeah.. my name is Angel." I answered and he nodded.

"Well it's a nice name.. suits you." He smiled, and then his tone went more serious. "Jackson is coming out of the pit today. I doubt he- or anyone for that matter- will try to harm or bother you again, but just to be safe I'm going to ask that you avoid being alone for the time being. I, or Newt, or any other trustworthy Glader of your choosing will be around to escort you from place to place. Is that okay?"

I felt a pang of anxiety at his words, thinking back on Jackson's harsh touch and predatory gaze, but nodded confidently. I didn't like the idea of being 'escorted' everywhere, especially by two people who were seemingly so busy already, but I wasn't going to disagree.

"Yeah, that's fine. Sorry for being such an inconvenience." I said to which he shook his head with a smile.

"Nonsense Angel, you're no inconvenience. I'm sorry that it has to be this way. I promise that most of the lads here have no problem following the rules, there are just a few to look out for."

He then lead me downstairs to the kitchen, where the line was now pretty short as it seemed most Gladers had started their day at work. Frypan was hurriedly pouring soup into the bowls being handed to him before sending each boy off, his voice scolding despite his face bearing its usual grin.

"What you doing up so late Greenie, I thought you were an early bird." He teased at me, taking my bowl from my hands.

"I thought I was too. Maybe I'm not." I smiled back, taking my bowl back from him once it was filled and then waiting for Alby.

"Thank you, Frypan." He smiled sincerely and the shorter boy saluted, earning a chuckle from the leader. "Greenie's got a name now by the way, it's Angel."

"Well why didn't you say? Suits you good. I'll see you later, Angel."

"See you later." I smiled, secretly chuffed by both his and Alby's reaction to the name.

Maybe it does suit me.

"You know where the garden is I take it?" Alby asked and I nodded, gesturing to the large patch across the field. I could see Newt, Zart and some other boys leant over something, their faces marked with concentration.

"Yeah. You don't need to escort me there. I'll be fine." I chuckled and he nodded, waving me off.

I sipped on the soup from my bowl as I made my way over, the flavour unimpressive but edible. A few eyes turned to me and I saw a few whispers, but they seemed to be decreasing everyday and so I was relatively unbothered. I was more excited to spend the day with Newt than anything else.

"Good morning." I said as I neared the group, all the boys shooting up from their bent positions and smiling at me.

"Morning Greenie, you seem chipper." Zart smiled and I was quick to correct him "Angel. My name is Angel."

I snuck a glance at Newt and could see he was grinning, obviously happy that I'd decided to stick with the name he chose.

"Well good morning then, Angel." Zart said before adding "Nice name, suits you."

"Thank you." I beamed before bending down to be beside him and Newt "So what we doing today?"

"Well first of all, you ought to finish your breakfast, having some food in your stomach makes all the difference in this heat." Newt smiled. "Do you want a short sleeved top? Today is gonna be a sunny one."

I thought of the scars across my forearms and quickly shook my head no, although I could already feel the heat.

"No it's okay. I'll just roll my sleeves up if I get too hot." I said.

"Okay, Angel." He grinned, obviously completely unaware of my lie. "We're cutting off the dying leaves from our crops today and if we have time later we're going to plant some garlic bulbs. Sound good?"

"Sounds great." I smiled before quickly sipping down my soup.

"You really are chipper today, aren't you? Was the extra hour of sleep that good?" Newt chuckled and I nodded, thinking of my dream, unintentionally letting my cheeks go pink.

"Yeah. It was." I tried to sound nonchalant but Newt's grin gave me a feeling that he knew what I was thinking about. There was no way he could know, maybe I was just easy to read.

Around midday I could feel that my shirt was damp with sweat, and I was starting to struggle under the heat of the beaming sun, but alas I had to act fine. I was relatively fine. The company of the track-hoes had been very pleasant, much more than the awkwardness of the builders or the silence of the slicers. I had a feeling that even if Newt wasn't there, I would've enjoyed the job. But he had definitely noticed the heat affecting me, and kept offering to grab one of his vests for me to wear, which I politely refused every time.

"You're sweating buckets, Angel. Don't you even want to roll your sleeves up?" He questioned quietly, leaning close to me.

"No." I answered quickly before casually adding "I'm fine. It's not that hot."

"Well that's a lie." He eyed me with suspicion "What's up? You don't want the boys looking at you?"

"Y-Yeah. I don't want to expose any more skin than I have to, you know?" I agreed, secretly thanking him for unintentionally creating an excuse for me.

"Well they're not going to go mad over some arm skin. Here, let me help." He moved his hands towards my sleeves, his cleaner than mine, but I flinched away and his brows furrowed with concern.

"Sorry. I won't touch you." He apologised, his voice downtrodden, and although I wanted so badly to tell him he could touch me - to tell him that he'd done nothing wrong, I just sheepishly smiled.

His conversation lessened considerably after that and I started to feel a heavy guilt in my gut mixed with a spiralling anxiety in my chest. However, I acted un-phased, concentrating on trimming the leaves and making polite conversation with the other track-hoes. Arthur and Sebastian were slightly younger than Newt and Zart but clearly skilled at their job, and so I had been speaking to them a lot. Arthur had curly, brown hair, longer than mine by a couple inches and Sebastian had striking blue eyes, contrasted by his dark hair and tan skin. I decided that I liked them and I would perhaps join them for dinner one night, as they seemed to like me too.

"You're good at this. Think it's the small fingers, you know?" Sebastian had said and Arthur agreed.

"Are my fingers small?" I wondered out loud, holding my mud-caked hand up to my face.

"Compared to everyone else's? Yeah they're pretty small." Arthur chuckled. "Do you recon you'll stay on as a track-hoe?"

The idea appealed to me, but the excitement I'd had to be around Newt was now replaced with anxiety as I realised it meant I'd probably have to tell him the truth about the sleeves or just get used to working this way in the heat.

"I don't know. I like it but I want to try everything. Being a runner seems interesting." I mused and Seb scoffed.

"Being a runner is dangerous."

"Yeah and you have to be really fast." Arthur added.

"Well I don't think I'm slow. When I leapt out the box I went pretty fast, didn't I?" I questioned and they shrugged.

"We were busy weeding, chica. Didn't see any of that." Seb answered and so I looked over in Newt's direction, who was a crouched a few feet away from us.

"Newtus, do you recon I'm a fast runner?" I called over to him and he rolled his eyes with a playful smile, which I was relieved to see.

"Not really... I mean, maybe for a girl. But in general, no."

*Newt’s POV*

As Angel flinched away from my touch, I found myself mentally questioning her boundaries, confused by the way she'd decided to go by the name I'd picked, yet was seemingly uncomfortable with my touch. She hadn't flinched away from Minho last night, we're they becoming closer than I'd realised? I had to push the jealous thoughts out of my head, knowing them to be just that - jealous - and instead try to focus on my work.

It was easier to do that today than it had been yesterday. I knew she was safe in the gardens, all of the track-hoes being relatively relaxed and friendly lads, and if anything did go wrong she would just be a glance away from my eye line. This obsession was becoming unhealthy though, I knew that as soon as I'd felt the pang of rejection at her slight movement away from me. I knew it even more when the sound of her laughing with Sebastian and Arthur started to annoy me. Maybe it would be better if I distanced myself from her. After all, if Zart had picked up on my potential feelings, who knows who else could've.

Instead, I tried to keep myself focused on all of the work I needed to get done, mentally planning the weeks ahead. The grapes would hopefully be ready for harvest soon, so maybe Zart and I could make that wine. In a couple days the potatoes and mushrooms would be fully grown, so Frypan would be pleased with that. I would have some of the boys clean and prepare all of the crops to be eaten, and I would probably be busy planting more.

"Maybe Angel would stay on as a Track-hoe. Would I allocate myself to being her personal teacher? Or would I let Zart do it?" This thought broke through my scheduling and I almost groaned out loud at myself.

My pondering lasted in silence for a little while, perhaps an hour, before Angel called over to me "Newtus, do you recon I'm a fast runner?" and I automatically smiled at her use of my nickname. Then I thought of why she'd be asking that question. We're they discussing the Runners? I know that I'd pushed for her to be able to try every role, but I didn't like the idea of her running. Still, I couldn't let her know that as so far she'd shown that being told she couldn't do something just made her want to do it more.. like hanging out with Gally.

"Not really... I mean, maybe for a girl. But in general, no." I answered, finally looking up from my work and smiling at her. "Why, you wanna be a runner?"

"I don't know. Maybe." She smiled then added. "I thought I was quite fast. Maybe with some practice I'll be the fastest in here."

"Have you seen Minho run?" I raised an eyebrow and she giggled and nodded.

"Okay, maybe not the fastest. But I might not be bad."

"Maybe. I guess we'll see." I forced a chuckle, although my mind was instantly fraught with worry.

I decided I needed to speak to Alby immediately, and so I put my tools down and stood up, wiping the dirt from my trousers.

"Where you going?" Angel questioned, looking worried.

"Just gotta check something quick. I won't be long." I said, swallowing before heading towards the map room where I knew Alby would be.

When I walked in his head quickly shot up, relief flushing his face for a moment before it was replaced with concern.

"What's happened? Someone hasn't hurt Angel again have they?"

It took me back for a second to hear him saying her name. The name I'd gave her. And it gave me another item on the agenda of things to discuss with him. How she still hadn't remembered her name, and it didn't seem like she would.. yet she had known mine.

"No. Nothing like that." I answered quickly before letting out a sigh "I was just thinking... do you think we should let her try to be a runner?"

Alby looked confused at this. "Well I thought we'd agreed that she should try everything."

"Yes but.. the maze. It's a bit different isn't it? I mean not even all of the boys have tried it out, I don't feel like it's right. There's no way she'll be able to keep up with any of the runners."

"Well no one starts out as fast as Minho, do they? And she might not even want to do it, but we need to at least give her the opportunity. To show to the boys that she's just like them."

"But she's not." I thought before blurting out "And she didn't remember her name, by the way."

Alby's brows furrowed in further confusion "What do you mean? I thought it was Angel."

"No.. I uh- chose it for her. I don't think she's going to remember the one she had before here." I stammered.

Alby raised an eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed by what I'd just said.

"You chose it for her? And she just accepted it?"

"She asked me to pick one! And I just went with the one that felt right."

He let out a frustrated huff before speaking again.

"So she trusts you then. That's good to know. But you're becoming far too attached to her. I don't expect you to come storming in here like that unless something has happened, and you're just worried about her trying out as a runner?"

"Yes! I'm worried about sending her into the maze alone with someone! You said it yourself, she needs to have someone trustworthy with her at all times - just incase!"

"And do you not think Minho is trustworthy? Or Ben? Or Nick for that matter? There isn't a single runner here that I wouldn't trust. I think what you're problem is is that you're jealous - and it needs to stop."

His words struck me in a spot that had me immediately defensive.

"But what if something happened? Not even with one of the lads, but something else. The maze is unpredictable and dangerous-" I started to protest until Alby cut me off.

"The Glade is unpredictable and dangerous. Now stop this and get back to work. Have Zart or Frypan escort her for the rest of the day. You need a break from this girl, I've never seen you act so erratic... except for when you nearly bloody killed yourself. I don't have to be worried about that now also, do I?"

I couldn't help but hang my head in shame at his words, silently nodding as I bit my tongue, knowing him to be right in his argument. It had been almost six months since my attempt and I still regretted it most days. I didn't know what I regretted sometimes though - the fact that I'd attempted it and permanently damaged myself as a result, or the fact that it hadn't worked. Since Angel had arrived I'd hardly thought on it, but now the guilt was overwhelming again and I found myself having to take a deep breath before speaking.

"You're right. Sorry. I'll keep some distance from her from now on."

"Well don't just ditch her if she trusts you. She could provide some valuable information. I could tell she was holding back with me. There's something strange going on at the moment. Just... be more.. objective."

"Alright. I will." I answered with certainty, although I was still feeling quite unsure.

I really appreciate all interaction so if you’re enjoying please let me know xx

[butchpeace]

I know you're trying to help, but colleges have high rape statistics, and women can't even trust other women to not be pickmes and use them to attract males, or even set them up to be raped. Even their own mothers. Some women pimp other women and children out to rapists. All I see on this website is doomerfems saying we will never see female liberation within our lifetime, much less the next five years. So let the fake ftms transition, because it's really not any worse than what we live through. I'd say our existence is equally bad because we're both females, but we're trading possible male privilege for better health in a world where our health isn't taken seriously anyway, where we suffer and die and are ignored when we're in pain anyway. And they're trading slightly worse health for occasional male privilege, which includes better healthcare, despite the transing their health and lives are still probably better and more free than ours. We suffer because of birth control, barely understood menstruation, rapist gynos, rapist doctors, a host of female health conditions, constantly being talked over or ignored, and the rage of rape ape moids. We can't even go places alone without being killed or raped. We're not free. If I were okay with looking like an ugly moid I would transition too. The only reason I suffer is for my good looks as a female and not scare off my girlfriend, otherwise I would trans myself and have major dysphoria about looking like a hideous masculine woman and my girlfriend would understandably leave me. So we just hide in our home and live in fear. If a woman can escape that, let her.

The problem with this take is that female transitioners have significantly worse health outcomes than women who don’t transition. Because our bodies are still female, and doctors don’t know anything about female health, we’re subject to all the same issues, plus the ones we get from being on testosterone, binding, and surgeries.

Masculinized women often face additional obstacles to receiving competent reproductive healthcare due to being medically altered and androgynous. Healthcare discrimination is real. The unknowns of testosterone’s effects on other aspects of our health also lead to less competent care in every other medical field too. The “doctors” in trans clinics (more often RNs) are truly incompetent in every way.

I can’t understate how dangerous it is to willingly put yourself in that precarious situation. It kills people.

TIFs also suffer high rates of sexual assault and abuse, especially if they date men. Even when they’re lucky enough to “pass”, they are still female and are still treated as such by partners. They are still on average smaller and weaker than men. I’ve personally heard stories of TIFs being assaulted by doctors too, including by doctors in the trans industry. “Male privilege” is only granted in some situations and under the requirement that no one finds out she’s a woman.

To top it all off, you suffer from the inescapable psychological trauma that’s inherent to medical transition, and the mental illness inherent to trying to hide your biological sex.

The bottom line is that you don’t escape sex-based oppression by identifying out of your sex. You just take on a whole new set of problems in addition to the ones you already have.

[zahri-melitor]

inspired by your recent ask about the birds of prey - i like how you said it's basically bbs and her harem - er, i mean, teammates and contacts - instead of a team where the "center" is less rigidly defined like 90s young justice or early teen titans (i know dick was the leader but it always seemed like they were all pretty equally close even with early stuff like the roy+garth rivalry). but also i'd like to know more of your thoughts on bop as a whole! personally i loved babs in amanda waller's suicide squad and her on the jla but i can't stand her in bop because all her batty traits come out, my fav is helena so i always feel so sad on her behalf and i thought babs's "apology" was so flimsy and inadequate (maybe i'm biased though because i loved rucka's godfather-esque take on helena so i was disappointed by the sex and the city-esque writing for her prevalent throughout bop)... but babs doesn't treat outsiders like powergirl well either... and that's not even getting how various asian female characters like lady shiva were characterized but to be fair i think that was a DC-wide problem in the early 00s and not just a gail simone thing, though it doesn't make me dislike simone's writing choices any less.... but sorry, sorry, enough of my whining!! please share your thoughts on bop, i'm listenin and learnin over here!!!!!

…I think if you find Barbara as having too many ‘batty traits’ in Simone’s BOP you’re just generally going to have a hard time with Birds of Prey runs. The basic concept of Birds of Prey is Barbara being paranoid, over-controlling and running private ops for her own purposes. It’s essentially an outgrowth of the position she held in Suicide Squad 1987, only Babs is doing it independently without oversight now, rather than working as control for Waller.

Dinah does not see Barbara’s face or find out her name until BOP #21, 29 issues + 2 crossover issues into Birds of Prey as a concept. BLACK CANARY.

I actually personally am very fond of the work Simone did on Helena and Barbara’s relationship together, because she had to sit there and carefully untangle a decade’s worth of drama between them, where they were both extremely justified in being mad at the other. Sticking points that had to be worked through on both sides included: both of their relationships with Dick; Helena’s use of the Bat costume during No Man’s Land and the argument over whether or not that counted as being ‘Batgirl’; the costume going to Cass and Barbara being supportive of Cass as Batgirl; Helena breaking into the Clock Tower in No Man’s Land; Helena’s willingness to use violence and kill. There was lore there and years of encroaching on the other’s territory. So yes, it was rocky to start and they had to learn to trust each other, because they both went in with justifiable hurts, and had done things the other considered completely unacceptable.

Barbara is very much able to work with people she doesn’t like, but she is also a notorious grudge-holder, which means if she’s pissed at a character, she will go out of her way to snub them and avoid them all together. (Your most obvious examples of this are the Babs v Power Girl problems – the origin of which is actually a Dixon story and an example of Babs’ control tendencies meaning her emotional intelligence did not kick in; and Babs’ grudge against Kory). The fact she was willing to get over her problems with Helena was in many ways a reflection of the fact that despite all the conflicts, they both had fundamental base respect for each other, and understood they had to work with or around each other in Gotham.

BOP 1999 is Barbara and Dinah together against the world’s problems, and from Simone and Bedard’s runs it picks up a bunch of extra characters to widen the team and use various people for various specific needs, and to also explore female friendship. You know how Roy promises Dick at the start of Outsiders 2003 that it can just be a team, it doesn’t have to be a family? Babs tries to pull that on HERSELF in Bedard’s run while she’s grappling with the fact that Dinah’s not on the team (and fails. Miserably). What I think one of the upsides of Simone’s run (that I think may be part of what you’re categorising as the ‘Sex and the City’ vibes) is that Simone, being a woman, is actually aware that most women have more than a single female friend, and actually portrays those networks of friendships and different vibes together.

BOP 2010 is Barbara getting the team back together in the wake of Dinah and Ollie’s divorce to give Dinah something to distract herself with and lure her back.

BOP 2011 is technically Dinah’s strike force team, not Babs’, and is missing some of the vibe because they’ve lost a control figure by Barbara being present as Batgirl, not being Oracle. It’s not awful but it is pretty formulaic with occasional bright spots.

Batgirl and the Birds of Prey 2016 is an attempt to get the team back to basics in the Simone team model, by re-establishing the baselines of the Barbara-Dinah-Helena friendships. It is successful at that, but it could have dealt with the fact that Babs was Batgirl not Oracle in a less aggravating manner.

There’s an assortment of short Harley Quinn-based stories next that I’m skipping over as they’re mostly slight and dreadful.

The villains and antiheroes BOP that exists for a hot second in Urban Legends for a story really should have been a Ravens team.

BOP 2023 is still having a few issues with figuring out the balance of tension between this being Barbara’s Team and the fact that Dinah stood the team up specifically trying to work around Barbara for Plot Reasons, but a lot of the knots have been worked out by now. It’s very much moving towards having the core of Barbara-Dinah-Cass-Barda-Sin as solid.

[motheatenscarf]

Amidst all the James Somerton fallout, I think it's important to remember not to moralize whether or not you or others fell for his grift.

Obviously, if you were rallied into being one of his attack dogs on social media when he put some pretty heinous hits out on people, uh. You might have other problems and should probably evaluate how you spend your time online and how you treat other people before you start caring about the rest of the points I'm about to make. Priorities, etc.

But for the rest of us, it's surprisingly easy to miss just how awful a creator can be.

If you only watched his videos that caught your interest, if you don't really follow creators on social media, if you skip livestreams because watching Some Guy talk unfiltered into a bad camera angle with shitty lighting for hours on end sounds like a fucking nightmare to you, you're not really gonna catch most of this shit. At least, you're not gonna catch most of it from any perspective but the one he tries to spin.

This is a reminder to be skeptical and to trust your gut and check sources if something sounds wrong, but also. Uh. That's still the creator's responsibility not to plagiarize and to fact check their work. You're not morally obligated to be as thorough in curating your experience as someone who is making sure they take every ethical precaution before absolutely destroying a "creator's" credibility in a video like H-Bomb's or Todd in the Shadows'. You're literally just some guy. Most people, myself included, watch these videos as background noise while doing at minimum one other task, you're not gonna google every damn thing he says, especially not on media analysis, where the POINT is to have one's own opinion. THEY'RE the ones trying to be "influencers," or, laughably, "creators." The standards are on them.

And for the isms, phobias, and misogyny, well. Frankly, for my own perspective, I gaslight myself all the damn time when I see red flags. Good Allyship™ has been telling me for years to ignore my own discomfort when someone criticizes a privileged group, especially one I'm a part of. I'm a cis asexual white-passing and probably neuroatypical woman, I am constantly trying to be aware of my own relative privilege while simultaneously doubting my own reaction to things. Despite this, I'd still liked to think I'm a skeptical person, but nobody's immune to everything. Everybody has weak spots.

If you got duped or fell for James' scam, that sucks. I feel ya. I fell for it too, I've seen probably 40% of his catalog over the last couple years and really liked what I'd seen. I recommended his channel and videos to people even if I didn't always agree with every point he made, but it felt important to at least consider what to me seemed like a unique perspective that had value or added to a conversation. There are red flags within his content, his analysis, his rate of publishing, his weird diatribes, that in retrospect, really all added up into things I should have known better than to ignore. But, for reasons I'm interrogating and am adding to my list of things to be aware of about myself, I didn't ignore them, and got grifted. I donated to his patreon a few times, probably gave him like $20 grand total over the years, about as much as I've given H Bomb. The important take away here isn't to be ashamed of the fact that you were fooled, it's to remember that you're fallible.

And it's good to recognize that about yourself. Everyone is, and the ones who say they aren't are lying. They're either gonna be the next person to feel really stupid and foolish when they fall for a scam, or are themselves the grifter.

No one is immune.

[violetsastrocytes]

unhinged regulus (my fave)

hey hello i thought i'd quickly talk about regulus in my lotss fic... i feel like people are gonna have problems with him—so here's some musings/ramblings etc!

so i really enjoy the idea of exploring human nature, and to me this means a flawed character. in lotss regulus is not a good person. there's good in him, sure, but on the whole he's morally corrupt and has a detrimental fuck-it-we-ball attitude. he relishes in destruction and indulges in his volatility. like he persuaded sirius to literally bind them together with a potentially fatal and 100% illegal spell at ten fucking years old, because he was like whelp. i'm gonna miss you when you go to highschool. and he's manipulative as shit, because sirius was like oh yeah, horcruxes, solid plan, and then does it.

regulus joins the army, yes to protect sirius, yes so sirius doesn't have to, but he would've joined anyway. he LOVES the power it gives him. he finds murdering fun. genuinely fun. he likes to tease his victims, he likes to draw their death out, he thinks it's hilarious when they cry and beg. and sure, okay, these are unambiuously bad people, veela traffickers etc, reg doesn't feel this way when he's on the battlefield and it's basically soldiers just like him. but still, it does take a certain character to not only carry out, but relish in murder.

i took a lot of inspiration for his and General Riddle's relationship from Silko and Jinx (from Arcane). i thought that dynamic was the best ever, like here are two hurt, damaged, chaotic and morally deranged people. they enable each other, they care for each other (genuinely). i'm obsessed with Arcane so think about it way too much, but Silko's last words to Jinx "you're perfect" make me wanna scream. because to him she is. that's what a daughter is to a father—a true father. flawed and tainted and morally ugly, blood all over her hands—but she is still his daughter, he forgives her, he loves her. despite, because of, regardless.

anyway my whole point with this ramble—i feel like lots of marauders fics ive read ultimately try and either validate, justify or redeem a character's unjust actions or corrupt nature. that's totally valid obviously, but that's not what i've done in lotss. regulus never regrets his behaviour, even when it ends up costing him someone he really, really loves. even then he continues to do it, he continues to enjoy it. he never has any big revelation and goes fuck. i messed up.

and general riddle—we've seen him manipulate, coerce and trap nagini. so we're against him. but then we see him from regulus' pov—who admires and trusts him—and he seems like a nice guy. so then we're like okay, is he a dick or is he nice? but isn't everyone both sides of that coin?

i really tried to show that while, on the whole, he's an upstanding leader, fighting for good causes (and is non-discriminative: there's a vast and inclusive representation of genders and races in the death eater army, something which is notably absent from the ministry-affiliated order and bmaf) even then riddle's hungry for more power. he wants to experiment and test the limits of his magic. my whole moral of the story thing with lotss is that power corrupts. there is NO GOOD SIDE. i'll say it again: no one wins in war.

like that line in hotd, where alicent says wtf are we even fighting for anymore? and rhaenyra is like lol idk. i was reading about the vietnam war recently: america and australia sent all those men in, then realised they were being fucking decimated and were like, oh fuck, and pulled them out again. thousands dead. literally for fucking what. anyway, all that to say: i'm not trying to use a character (regulus) who is generally well-liked by the fandom in order to try and justify or advocate for violence. his behaviour is just me experimenting with another way trauma can play out, like don't forget the circumstances of his birth, or the fact that he had to watch sirius being abused. sirius' magic was tested by orion to the point where he almost died multiple times. it effected sirius one way, it effected regulus another.

anyway! it's a story loves, not meant to be serious xo as i said before, take it all with a pinch of salt. and if you happen to watch arcane, tell me so we can try about it together!

[copperbadge]

Oh geez, is that where the “I have harnessed the secret powers of my ADHD” stuff is coming from? I mean, good work, but maybe don’t put that on your resume.

What, the "how your ADHD is a superpower" thing? I'm not really immersed enough in that niche to know, but it's certainly possible. YouTube I think is a more vocal place when it comes to clickbait about how your neurodivergence is really a neuroadvantage.

It's not objectively bad. I think there is space to both acknowledge that life with neurodivergence can suck, but also that there's nothing wrong with being a different kind of thinker. The problem is with the way our culture treats that difference. Like yeah I wish my brain was different, and even if our culture was different I'd still probably do that, but being old enough to see the ways in which I'm advantaged by it is very validating, and makes up for it.

Despite being terrible with details in my own work, I often catch stuff my neurotypical colleagues miss, both in the work we do and just like, out in the world. Last time we were traveling, one of them said, "Man, I wish there was a bakery around here," and I said "Oh, we passed one two blocks back -- well, not really a bakery, they do mini cheesecakes." Once we backtracked, it was evident that we'd all walked past it but I was the only one who clocked it, because it was tiny and didn't have much signage. My coworker asked me, "How did you even notice this was here?" and I said, "That's the ADHD!" with amusement.

Mind you, I was with two colleagues I trust, one of whom has a kid with developmental struggles, so I was okay talking about it. It shouldn't be something that you have to hide, but yeah it's not something to put on your resume, or in your cover letter. It will make you less employable, which sucks, but also unless you're asking for accommodation that's not something your employer needs to know. I won't advise on when to notify an employer that you'll need accommodation, because I'm not well-versed in disability law, but I've seen it go very badly even with people who have been with an employer for years. And during an interview, anything that's not directly about the job (faith, partner, kids, disability, allergies, etc) should be kept to the absolute minimum, if only because some people in hiring really get put off by any mention of it in a discussion of job skills.

And I think truly the issue is that there was probably a brief moment of about three weeks where "your disability is a superpower" was actually a meaningful, validating statement, and then the Employment Industrial Complex got hold of it and realized that they could shift the messaging to validate anything that contributed to the capitalist work ethic and ignore or dismiss anything that didn't. It's shocking how fast "hey, ADHD has some upsides" became "if you can stop fidgeting your hyperfocus will make us millions."