#only problem is I'd have to trust you with people I like despite you being willing to kill... but maybe I would if you get it's a mercy

[medicinemane]

It's just a fact that nothing I do matters or has any impact

I can prove it, and I do mean that

I wouldn't want to because I think it would bother people, but I have... endless proof

[leavemebetosleep]

Alright here's a short version of how I'd fix Bride of Discord. As a sort of mental editing exercise.

While not really a good fic for a lot of reasons, Bride of Discord actually has a lot of potential as a story. There's a lot of great imagery, and it has a lot of fic tropes I like and are fun to read. I actually would probably change less than some people would. (If your "rewrite" doesn't keep any of the original anything, it's not actually a rewrite babes)

It's just that a lot of stuff in it is maybe played from the wrong angle.

Also there's no saving the Applejack/Spike thing. That's just gross. I think you could keep a similar subplot, just change it so AJ's crushing on someone else. I like AppleDash, but RariJack would probably work the best here. Maybe in this version she's afraid to confess bc she thinks Rarity is straight since she's so femme.

As for the main couple, I think you could actually make the demanding a wife thing work, just have it play out differently.

Like, Discord is old. He spent a lot of time as a statue, and might not be up to date on modern society. Maybe instead of it being a VERY creepy request that screams "sex slavery" make his request explicitly a somewhat less creepy political marriage.

That was common back in his day, and he IS trying to make a peace treaty with Twilight. Being married to one of her people is a show of good faith, that she won't go back on her word, and he won't go back on his, as well as metaphorically uniting their kingdoms.

He doesn't care who it is, because he's not intending to fall in love with them. At best they're gonna be an extended house guest.

They can even point out that's dated and weird, but he can also counter he doesn't know how else to get a proper show of trust. He doesn't trust them with his own safety, but he does trust they won't go after one of their own.

That could also play into why he's so insistent they get married already. Fluttershy trying to avoid the marriage once she's in his kingdom makes it feel like he's being set up, and like the treaty is tenuous. Or maybe he's even suspicious that she's avoiding because the ponies don't plan to stick to their deal.

That could even factor int the climax, but I'll get there.*

Discord can be lonely, and he can still also be a little desperate for companionship, but I don't think that should be his reason for the marriage. Otherwise he could've just asked for a companion, not a wife. Plus, I feel like per-reformation Discord would be in denial about being lonely. I think he'd only start to realize how much he's been missing out on until AFTER he's gotten to know Flutters.

*So in the climax, Fluttershy declares she doesn't love him bc her friends are badgering her, and he gets creepy possessive and tries to hypnotize her and there's a fight and what-not.

Yeah, instead of that what if it's his paranoia that she's avoiding getting married because they plan to betray him coming to a head?

He hears Fluttershy say something to her friends that out of context sounds like they're going to blast him back into stone after all. So he's think she's a traitor who played him for a fool.

I'd nix the hypnotism, just have him and the six fight it out, and then he kicks everyone out before Fluttershy can explain because he's heartbroken and doesn't want anyone to see.

Lot of minor fixes I'd throw in too, cutting out plot threads that go nowhere. Less heteronormativity. Fixing a LOT of OOC-ness. A LOT.

Oh and I'd change Discord's backstory too. The Megamind rip off thing is meh, and I think Discord's a character you could do a lot more interesting things with that that.

As for Fluttershy, a huge problem I have with this fic is she lacks real agency. I want her to choose to go with Discord, not out of the weird sense of feeling she has to sacrifice herself. (It comes off, for lack of a better word, suicidal.)

Maybe instead, she chooses to go because despite her shyness, she's bold when it matters. She will stand up to him. She's not going to be afraid of him anymore. She's gonna tame him like every other wild animal she's had to deal with, and save her home in the process. She's going to come back. He can't keep her there if she really decided to leave.

Have her be the Fluttershy who tried and failed to use her stare on him.

Also, in the original I never at any point felt like she fell in love with him. Just that she gave up resisting his advances. She's always wary and hesitant to do anything with him. That's fine for the beginning of their relationship, but for this to be a good love story that has to change at some point.

Where's the moment she realizes she finds him a little attractive actually? He's weird looking, but he's so confident and funny and fun and that's really appealing. Where's the part where she's having fun and forgets she's a prisoner? Where's the real bonding? Setting boundaries?

Maybe she convinced Discord to let her friends visit, not because she's marrying him already, but because she convinces him to try to make other friends. And he does it, because he loves her already at this point. And she thinks if he and her friends could get along, they could work thing out. Maybe she was hoping things would go well so she could tell him she wanted to marry him after all.

Maybe she really did want her friends at her wedding, but also to be able to have her parents, her brother.

This last bit has nothing to do with the author's writing. This fic was originally written before the show ended, and we got a lot of lore afterwards she couldn't have known about. That's not her fault she couldn't see the future. But just for my sanity, I'd add in more cannon lore.

And uh. I guess that's all got with what I remember of it. Yeah.

[motheatenscarf]

Amidst all the James Somerton fallout, I think it's important to remember not to moralize whether or not you or others fell for his grift.

Obviously, if you were rallied into being one of his attack dogs on social media when he put some pretty heinous hits out on people, uh. You might have other problems and should probably evaluate how you spend your time online and how you treat other people before you start caring about the rest of the points I'm about to make. Priorities, etc.

But for the rest of us, it's surprisingly easy to miss just how awful a creator can be.

If you only watched his videos that caught your interest, if you don't really follow creators on social media, if you skip livestreams because watching Some Guy talk unfiltered into a bad camera angle with shitty lighting for hours on end sounds like a fucking nightmare to you, you're not really gonna catch most of this shit. At least, you're not gonna catch most of it from any perspective but the one he tries to spin.

This is a reminder to be skeptical and to trust your gut and check sources if something sounds wrong, but also. Uh. That's still the creator's responsibility not to plagiarize and to fact check their work. You're not morally obligated to be as thorough in curating your experience as someone who is making sure they take every ethical precaution before absolutely destroying a "creator's" credibility in a video like H-Bomb's or Todd in the Shadows'. You're literally just some guy. Most people, myself included, watch these videos as background noise while doing at minimum one other task, you're not gonna google every damn thing he says, especially not on media analysis, where the POINT is to have one's own opinion. THEY'RE the ones trying to be "influencers," or, laughably, "creators." The standards are on them.

And for the isms, phobias, and misogyny, well. Frankly, for my own perspective, I gaslight myself all the damn time when I see red flags. Good Allyship™ has been telling me for years to ignore my own discomfort when someone criticizes a privileged group, especially one I'm a part of. I'm a cis asexual white-passing and probably neuroatypical woman, I am constantly trying to be aware of my own relative privilege while simultaneously doubting my own reaction to things. Despite this, I'd still liked to think I'm a skeptical person, but nobody's immune to everything. Everybody has weak spots.

If you got duped or fell for James' scam, that sucks. I feel ya. I fell for it too, I've seen probably 40% of his catalog over the last couple years and really liked what I'd seen. I recommended his channel and videos to people even if I didn't always agree with every point he made, but it felt important to at least consider what to me seemed like a unique perspective that had value or added to a conversation. There are red flags within his content, his analysis, his rate of publishing, his weird diatribes, that in retrospect, really all added up into things I should have known better than to ignore. But, for reasons I'm interrogating and am adding to my list of things to be aware of about myself, I didn't ignore them, and got grifted. I donated to his patreon a few times, probably gave him like $20 grand total over the years, about as much as I've given H Bomb. The important take away here isn't to be ashamed of the fact that you were fooled, it's to remember that you're fallible.

And it's good to recognize that about yourself. Everyone is, and the ones who say they aren't are lying. They're either gonna be the next person to feel really stupid and foolish when they fall for a scam, or are themselves the grifter.

No one is immune.

[copperbadge]

Oh geez, is that where the “I have harnessed the secret powers of my ADHD” stuff is coming from? I mean, good work, but maybe don’t put that on your resume.

What, the "how your ADHD is a superpower" thing? I'm not really immersed enough in that niche to know, but it's certainly possible. YouTube I think is a more vocal place when it comes to clickbait about how your neurodivergence is really a neuroadvantage.

It's not objectively bad. I think there is space to both acknowledge that life with neurodivergence can suck, but also that there's nothing wrong with being a different kind of thinker. The problem is with the way our culture treats that difference. Like yeah I wish my brain was different, and even if our culture was different I'd still probably do that, but being old enough to see the ways in which I'm advantaged by it is very validating, and makes up for it.

Despite being terrible with details in my own work, I often catch stuff my neurotypical colleagues miss, both in the work we do and just like, out in the world. Last time we were traveling, one of them said, "Man, I wish there was a bakery around here," and I said "Oh, we passed one two blocks back -- well, not really a bakery, they do mini cheesecakes." Once we backtracked, it was evident that we'd all walked past it but I was the only one who clocked it, because it was tiny and didn't have much signage. My coworker asked me, "How did you even notice this was here?" and I said, "That's the ADHD!" with amusement.

Mind you, I was with two colleagues I trust, one of whom has a kid with developmental struggles, so I was okay talking about it. It shouldn't be something that you have to hide, but yeah it's not something to put on your resume, or in your cover letter. It will make you less employable, which sucks, but also unless you're asking for accommodation that's not something your employer needs to know. I won't advise on when to notify an employer that you'll need accommodation, because I'm not well-versed in disability law, but I've seen it go very badly even with people who have been with an employer for years. And during an interview, anything that's not directly about the job (faith, partner, kids, disability, allergies, etc) should be kept to the absolute minimum, if only because some people in hiring really get put off by any mention of it in a discussion of job skills.

And I think truly the issue is that there was probably a brief moment of about three weeks where "your disability is a superpower" was actually a meaningful, validating statement, and then the Employment Industrial Complex got hold of it and realized that they could shift the messaging to validate anything that contributed to the capitalist work ethic and ignore or dismiss anything that didn't. It's shocking how fast "hey, ADHD has some upsides" became "if you can stop fidgeting your hyperfocus will make us millions."

[inchidentally]

New podcast on Fast and the Curious!  Lando It sounds like it really was just the one day in Perth! Lando said he made eggs for everyone the morning after they arrived and was left to do the washing up! The "illegal stuff" he mentioned in the F1 interview was riding motorbikes without proper protective kit 😂 He mentioned how he and Oscar have chats every race weekend about what they expect and their own debriefs afterward. (I'm sure most teammates do this but Andrea said that he likes how much they work together so it must be pretty special!) Him being hard on himself is about having high standards for himself which he feels is what's made him who he is today. He likes staying out of the chaos of contracts and changing teams. Said again how comfort for him is important because honesty and trust is better at a team where he knows people. They talked about how much people adore Lando and he said how much he appreciates it and still isn't used to it. He thinks he has the best fanbase. 😊 They said he seems genuinely happy and he really did! Oscar He'd had a flapjack that morning!  They said how Oscar was the first "thing" they'd ever recorded and he clarified that he's human - so cute 😊 And he is their most frequent guest! Said he felt more settled and comfortable as opposed to the second half of 2023 hitting him "like a train" with how busy it was. Feels better now he knows what to expect. He pretended to get upset when they said they wanted to see Lewis win 2024 WDC 😂😂 Fred Vesti had told them that Oscar decided to stay away from the Alpine twitter drama (35:20) by playing chess with him since they lived next door at the time! His wisdom teeth gave him problems through the season and he should have had them out twelve months before. Oscar does not call his car a "she"! The only reason he called a car "Silvia" because his mechanics wouldn't let him leave until he named it 😂 He said that he and Lando will always work hard to help the team to get the most out of the car ❤️ While it's nice to have compliments he knows neither compliments or criticism will make him drive better so he just needs to stay focused.

Fewer teeth = weight saving 😂 That's it! Very cute and they both sounded super happy despite the weather!

anon you are an absolute blessing bc I had no idea when I'd be able to listen to that all the way through !! Lando being the one to make eggs for Daniel and Martin AND then doing the washing up is not what I'd ever have expected aksgfsagflajfs but Oscar talking about flapjacks and chess and wisdom teeth absolutely is goddd I adore them so much ??

thank you for writing this up <3<3

[imgonnabethatone]

I want Fit and Pac to collide on what love is for them, I think.

It's amazing to see all the content on them and I immensely enjoy every single piece of fanart/fanfiction that goes

when Fit gets broody and upset over not being gentle enough for Pac and Pac has heart eyes because Fit is completely drenched in someone's blood and then they kiss over Cellbit's corpse.

But maybe I also like the idea that Fit wants to be gentle to Pac, wants him to be a special little someone that deserves the softest he has to offer. And then Pac doesn't get it!

Idk, maybe they talk, and Pac confesses that it's "really cool" or whatever to see Fit absolutely rocking people's shit and Fit goes "So... you find me attractive because I am dangerous?" and initially he thinks like "yeah you know what fair enough" 'cause Pac absolutely can fall in a cave and just stay in one place and wait for Fit to help him despite being perfectly capable on his own. Maybe he likes being taken care of and feeling protected by someone - Fit can certainly provide. And it's all true, but in the moment Pac lightly responds with "Oh yeah! You could break me in half no problem, it's really hot" and Fit goes Huh. It's Unusual to like a person that you assess as a potential danger to you. And he worries that Pac is afraid of him, so goes in to reassure him, something along the lines of:

"Well, first of all, you are very strong, so I probably wouldn't win against you in a fight--"

"Oh, I wouldn't fight you, what?" And it's worse, actually.

"--But I'd also never just, what? Attack you for no reason? Murder you? I'm not going to do that to you, Pac!" He finishes anyway, desperately hoping to get his point across.

Pac gets nervous immediately, like he always does when he feels that his words or actions have somehow been unpleasing to the people around him and he needs to fix his behaviour asap. He sounds a bit hurried, a bit pleading when he starts with "No, of course not, of course not!" and Fit relaxes, because it's all a big misunderstanding-- "But, I mean, if you have to! For some horrible, sad, lore reason. Or if-- for any other reason, not lore. I'd let you, you know? Whatever you need." And Pac hugs his own arms, and his voice gets kinda quiet and stuttery to the end of that sentence, as if he can't tell whether he is redeeming himself or making it worse (he is absolutely making it worse - Fit feels sick to his stomach - but he has no presence of mind to tell Pac that). And still, he looks directly into Fit's eyes, sure, determined, even, as he lays himself out like a lamb to the slaughter. As if he has no worth outside of what others can take from him. As if in his head there is an outcome where Fit will hurt Pac and Pac has preemptively forgiven him for it, is looking forward to it.

(There isn't such outcome, because hurting Pac is never an inevitability or fate - only a choice that Fit will not make. But Pac seems convinced that this betrayal of trust is not only expected, but is also somehow desirable.

And it makes Fit... not scared. But very, very worried.)

[quigonswife8]

Feelings revealed: Peter Hale x reader

Peter overhears that you admit you love him

Okay so my crush on this man started when I was like 13-14 has only gotten stronger 'cause of the movie, so thought i'd write something about him.

Warnings: the pack being mean to Peter behind his back, swearing.

Peter deserved better. There, I said it. I know he’s done stuff and is viewed as ‘evil’ but I genuinely don’t think he is. Probably gonna get hate for that but I believe he isn’t, and he did become a good person.

Also Peter is a bit ooc but meh

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When did you fall for Peter? That's the question that you ask yourself everyday. When did you fall for him?

Was it when he had healed you for the first time, despite making it clear he didn't like you, at the time.

Was it when he had protected you when Hunter's were trying to kill you?

Or was it when he'd saved your life the first time out of many.

-

The room is full of quiet chatter and glances when you enter.

"Did we start the meeting already?"

...silence.

You pause, and tilt your head.

"Everything...alright?"

Though it's clearly not. So they're hiding something...but why?

"(y/n)."

Scott begins, standing up. He leans back against the table, trying to form words. If you could hear his heart right now.

As one of the only non-wolves in the groups you aren't able to hear people's hearts so you can't tell when they're lying. It's hard most- a lot of the time- but it honestly doesn't bother you.

"...It's..."

"It's Peter."

Lydia finishes his sentence, one hand on her hip.

"...we need to talk to you about him..."

A nervous look flicks onto your features. Why would they need to talk to you about him? Has something happened to him? He would have told you, you practically talk everyday. It's obviously not good, based on how they looked when you'd entered.

"What...about him?"

It's Derek, who answers you next. His arms crossed, as they usually are. He looks troubled...but for who? For himself, for Peter?

"..we need you to cut contact with him..."

There it is. There's the catch to this conversation. Of course you were stupid for thinking it would have been something different.

"What?"

"It's dangerous for you to be his friend..."

Rolling your eyes, you scoff.

"...it's also dangerous to be in beacon hills, but none of us have left."

good point

"...(y/n)..."

Scott remarks.

"If you were friends with anyone else, that would be fine, but it's..."

"Peter Hale.". Stiles adds in, pointing his finger. "...and we haven't had the best history with him."

They have always had a problem with Peter.

Even when he's helped. Yes he’s done stuff in the past, and yes understandable they don’t trust him, but that was the past. He's changed. Why can't they at least give him a chance? ‘Cause everything he’s done has mainly been for his family

"...yeah..." you reply, pointing at each of them. "Yours. Your history with him, not mine"

Beginning to grow frustrated as every second passes.

"...I'm not going to just cut contact with him because you tell me to-"

"But he's evil.". Stiles raises an eyebrow, trying to point out the facts when they're not true.

"He's not evil...he’s done some things but he’s not evil.”

Closing a fist to fight back from punching something, you avert your eyes away from Stiles. Avert from everyone. They're your family, and families fight. The other's share glances trying to find a way to make what they want to happen, happen.

Next, Derek steps forward again.

"Please, (y/n). Just..."

"No..."

now, as you stare at him, a flicker of anger shows in your eyes.

"...I'm not going to, and if that's all you wanted me here for, then i'm leaving..."

a beat. a beat of silence follows, solidifying your point.

"Fine, i'm leaving..."

Turning on your heel you begin to leave, ignoring the looks. Before yoou can disapper, though, Stiles says something else.

"..Why do you care about Peter so much?"

Theres so many reasons why, but the main reason is what you admit. What you hadn't been meaning to, but now with your emotions everywhere you can't help to.

Walking over to the door, you stop. Not looking back, only looking forward.

"...because I love him."

Pushing the door open, leaving them exchanging surprised glances.

The door closes behind you. Running a hand over your face, like before, you walk through the hallway. Coming around the corner a few seconds later, walking straight into something- correction- someone- when you do.

It's not anyone from back there, it's actually who you hadn't been meaning to run into quite so soon. Without even looking up at the person you just know.

"...Peter..."

looking up, eyes meeting his. He looks...surprised, which means..

"You heard me...?"

He nods, but his expression is different. Different than it usually is. He's not wearing a smirk, or wanting to say something like a joke, his expression is one of surprise- of confusion- but mostly happiness.

Why? because he never thought you would feel this way, and, judging by your heart, you weren't lying.

So he begins to say something, but you catch him off guard by leaning your head against his chest.

"...i'm sorry, Peter. You didn't deserve to hear what they said..."

Snapping out of his initial shock, he slowly wraps an arm around you, letting you get more comfortable in his hold.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm used to it..."

"You shouldn't have to be Pete."

and, you're right, but you're the only one who thinks that. Peter sighs.

"...do you want to get out of here…?”

Pulling away from Peter, you look up at him.

"...please.”

They'd probably try and convince you, again, but you can't listen to them right now.

"...let's go..."

He presses a soft kiss to your head, lingering a moment. Then the two of you leave. When you get into his car, you're on the road soon enough.

Head resting against the window, you look out at the road trying to forget what had just happened. Before you reach where he's staying, Peter glances over at you. Heart-beat slowed back down, to a more even rate.

"...I...love you too, you know."

He notices how your heart-rate picks up, but then falls back to normal. Smitten: that's what you are. You're smitten with him. You look over at Peter with a smile, with such love in your eyes. Never has he made you feel the way anyone else, not that you're complaining,

After a moment you look out the window again, but this time you're unable to stop smiling.

[dialaster]

POST DEBUNKING ALL THE LIES ABOUT ME.

Firstly I'd like to say that I never wanted to be involved into any drama (I normally avoid it like the plague), I'm being forced to because people keep lying about me.

Now, onto more important matters, I've been accused by @momo-crome of “ leading her on ” however that is absolutely not true, I've made it very clear that I was never interested:

The full screenshot of the one she used as “proof” :

The PFP argument is ridiculous enough... she was upset because the artist had blocked her (despite them never interacting before) and tried guilting me into changing it... it was a simple drawing of civilian. She admitted that any time someone blocks her she believes they hate her which, in my opinion, is NOT my problem and she shouldn't control what I have as my PFP, seriously... freaking out over nothing.

I also never got mad at her like she's saying... :

The other day I didn't DM her to “harass” her, I simply explained the situation:

I never harassed ANYONE I only DMed people to explain what TRULT happened, proving your innocence to try to keep misinformation from spreading is absolutely NOT harassment. People lyign about me is destroying MY mental health, and i promise that getting a DM from someone calmly explaining why they didn't do anything wrong isn't gonna hurt you if you chose to be involved in the drama.

THE DOC SITUATION

Doc lied about their age and later claimed that I was “grooming” them, they told me they were 13 when we started dating (I was 14 at the time) however in reality they were 11, here's them admitting to their lie:

The “manipulation” were simple BPD episodes that they agreed to help me with, I warned them that I was going to talk about quite disturbing ways to hurt myself and they said they'd be fine if I asked them for help during those, they fully knew what they were getting into:

About the taking advantage of me situation I unfortunately don't have screenshots because it was on an online game, so you'll simply have to trust me on that, but they ARE indeed fatphobic:

Even though that was a bad person, I think fatphobia cannot be excused. It's the same concept as misgendering a trans person simply because they're bad. It is NEVER justified. They also made another joke about an innocent person in my Discord server (that I had to delete) but led to this announcement from me:

There we go. I'm completely innocent and did absolutely nothing wrong, people just love taking their own stress out on me for absolutely no reason.

[taylortruther]

I think there are plenty of songs since Lover that show us Taylor and Joe were having problems, or that Taylor was trying to work through her emotions when she was hurt by Joe. I just never thought about it too much because it seemed pretty normal for a couple to have issues. Part of the human experience is being deeply hurt by the people you love and, while they don't mean it to, it can feel like your scars are reopening.

I don't like going back to her pre-breakup song and be like "oh she was always scared of him leaving" "there were always signs they'd breakup" because you can find flaws in any relationship. Being in a relationship is constantly making the choice to stay, despite everything. Despite your trust issues, despite their struggles to communicate. You choose to stay because the sacrfice is worth the prize. You choose to stay until it's not worth it anymore, or maybe you choose to stay again and again until either of you die. But in Taylor's case, she realized she was choosing something that, by this point, was destorying her instead of building her up.

your second paragraph is *chef kiss.*

to be honest, a lot of the conflict taylor described in her music sounded like something i'd never want - but i also really love how beautifully she describes her own journey in figuring out her flaws and facing them in order to make her relationship work. and the only option we have is to trust her judgment about her own life. if she stayed 6-7 years, we have to assume there was reason for that and i don't think we need to have discourse about how "she should've known better" or fans should've seen it coming, you know?

and, yeah, conflict is a normal part of relationships and i believe it's very common for issues that will eventually tear your relationship apart to be present at the beginning. it's just that at the beginning, you might be endeared by them, you have the energy/desire to work through them, you think they might change, or the issues actually just get worse over time.

as taylor said in renegade, "if i would've known how many pieces you had crumbled into, i might've let them lay" - that indicated their issues were serious at the time of writing, which i discussed with you guys at the time, but it was also very relatable. people can go through shit together after 6 - 15 - 20 years that would scare you at year 1.

also, some people made it hard to discuss any of this at the time without becoming the joe defense squad, becoming the taylor hit squad, or immediately turning this into "joe and taylor are gonna break up" discourse. so like. yeah. lots of reasons why we didn't or couldn't talk about these things in the moment lmao

[transformation4life]

Hey bro, I'm back. Cosplay with the bulk and mask is doing great! People are eating that uniqueness! Problem though, I'm a bit too nerdy for their tastes. They didn't like my gaming posts. Think you can add in my history that I'm a big jock too? I need the experience. I don't mind my brain shrinking.

Continuation of:

A rewriting of your history huh... Let's see where you last left you off.

Yea... unfortunately someone as big and bulky as you just doesn't fit gaming NERD. Sure you got the bod of a lifetime but not a single change in your personality let alone your past. Subby furries been asking you for fun in DM's but you're still as shy before so you have to turn them and they think you're homophobic! You've been going to the gym to maintain your new body and got yourself some gymbro friends but unlike them you've never participated in sports in your life so you have to nod and smile when they start talking football. Your social media presence is all sorts of wack too with your fans demanding to post thirst traps and flexing pics but you just keep posting gaming clips since you don't want to make your only thing on the online world being a beefy meathead that only cares about their bod. It was all piling up and wish you could just change your past to fit the body you wished for...

Well that's where I come in and help you once more! You hear a knock on your home door and you went to check who was there. No one was there but you saw something on the ground so you opened the door to find a strange device and a note on the ground.

Hey Dude!

Heard the beef life was getting hard with no change of memories or life so I thought I'd help out. What you see is a Reality Augmentation Device! Just say what you want and reality will change to suit your desires.

It's one use only so no going back!

Choose wisely,

-Tf4life

Reality Augmentation Device? You'd think I was crazy if I didn't give you the bod you currently possess so you trusted my judgement.

The device was a sphere shape and had a screen for soundwaves and a singular button. Looks like you press the button, say what you want and reality will change. So much power in such a small device. Well with a bit of hesitancy you press the button and say your wish.

"I wish my life would fit my body" And then you let go of the button. Immediately after you let go the device warped itself out of reality and you suddenly passed out. Your past would now change.

The changes begin in middle school. Instead of staying reserved and quiet you LOVED to act out much to the dismay of your teachers. You adored sports, especially football which ended up with you on your middle school football team as the star player. You eventually got a ton of friends that were just like you. You were known as the school troublemakers and sports buffs. You didn't learn a damn thing the whole time you were there.

Come High School you continued this attitude fully becoming a typical jock with the friends to match. This is when you began to work out almost every single day leading to that hot bod of yours. Your bros were your everything... your... everything. You realized you were gay. Any who you of course joined your High School Football team and once again was the star player. The whole school loved you for constantly bringing home trophies. Your grades took an even bigger decline than what was even possible. You were already a major meathead with the only thoughts being sports workout and hanging out with bros. It's a miracle you didn't get expelled but the fame and trophies was what allowed you to stay. You graduated with multiple sports related schools BEGGING to have you and despite that meathead brain of yours you eventually picked a college to attend.

College was more about working out than actually attending classes. When you did attend classes it was an excuse to be the meathead jock to ever meathead jock. Luckily this was a sports college so all that mattered was your ability on the field. You still had your craft in football and landed your college football team multiple trophies and eventually graduating with a "Degree in Jock" the person who handed you the degree at graduation joked. Which might I add you were completely shirtless during graduation? Yeah.

Brimming with jock confidence you got tattoos on your arms and started posting your workout journey onto social media and to say people were interested would be an understatement. Thirst trap comments would pour in on every single post just look at the ones with this selfie!

"Big~~"

"You're so lovely~"

"Daddyyyyy"

"I want you"

These were a common occurrence and you loved all of it. You were able to stay in contact with your gymbros even after school and hung out almost every single day pumping iron with the bros. Talking about sports was a nonissue as you knew every single football term under the sun. You will willing to help your bros if they had a hard time lifting something.

"Just like that bro..." You whisper to him.

And there's still more! Hanging out with gymbros means bouncing those meat mounds with your gymbros.

And maybe a flex or two...

And that leads back to the new present. Despite all the changes to your past there was still one thing that stayed. Your love of masks. You would sometimes wear your wolf bone mask and black balaclava to workouts and your bros found it very amusing.

Those same subby furries that wanted a strong werewolf to dominate them you were too shy to reply to in your old past was now in your bed being fucked silly by you in a wolfmask. Safe to say your entire social media presence WAS being a meathead jock and you owned it.

"Video games? Never heard of it. I got GAINMES right here" You said to one your gymbros once at the gym with a flex.

With all that in mind and your past altered you woke up from your impromptu nap wondering why you were on the ground in front of your house. The meathead jock in you just brushed it off before you remembered something.

"Oh right, gotta go work out with my bros!" Immediately running back inside to get ready to workout like you have been for multiple years.

You loved working out with your bros they were your everything to you and you couldn't be happier. The shy nerdy you was long gone and your life finally fit your body. And to make sure of that you posted another post-workout selfie to your social medias.

" Gains 💪💪💪💪"

[leventart-den]

I'm here with another silly idea for ZoSan, dear Strawhearts. And you know what? I love cliches. Because for me it is always so much fun to take something that is very well-known and predictable and think how it can be turned around and changed. So, of course, when I see the "f*ck or die" tag on AO3, my brain immediately starts to work and think what I can do with it. I'm writing this in a very subdued and non-descriptive manner (because I'm just sharing a general idea), but I think you can fill in the blanks given the topic.

So what if this happened and during another battle with an enemy ship, Sanji was somehow drugged.

And now this is a ten times worse version of Sanji, and not only regarding girls. And since it's ZoSan, of course Zoro is the one who finds Sanji in the kitchen and notices that something is wrong with the shitty cook. They fight as usual, but in the end it ends with Sanji admitting that he needs help. He tells Zoro that he trusts him, that he is strong enough to watch over him and not let him out of the kitchen so that Sanji doesn't do things to others that he will later regret. 

So now they're stuck in the kitchen alone with Zoro shooing everyone away from the door who comes to find out what's going on. Although later they still had to move down to another cabin because Luffy couldn’t live without food and was ready to break inside. Sanji, in turn, is holding up adequately for now, but over time things are getting worse. Zoro can tell that the cook is burning like a furnace even sitting a few steps away from him.

Over time, Zoro begins to talk to Sanji to distract him. Somehow they manage to talk to each other without the usual fighting and insults. This is probably because Sanji is too out of it and just doesn't have the strength. And Zoro, despite the impression of an idiot that he sometimes creates, is actually very smart and attentive and senses the situation enough to react adequately. Because you can't be the best swordsman if you can't read your enemies and people in general as a consequence. And Sanji is not just a crew member, he has always been his rival. Zoro is able to read Sanji better than anyone to this point. So he understands when "it's not the right time". 

Although, as a few more hours pass, everything begins to slide even further down the slope. Zoro begins to think that the shitty cook has bitten more than he can chew. And if Zoro is completely frank, he himself has been having “strange” thoughts for some time now, which he stubbornly refuses to name. He suggests turning to Chopper for medical help, but Sanji categorically refuses. Chopper is too young and there is no way in hell that Sanji would allow him to be exposed to “such things in life” even as a doctor.

More time passes and when at some point Sanji stops responding to Zoro and he realizes that Curly blacked out Zoro thinks that he had enough.

He manages to bring Sanji back to consciousness and angrily (because he’s worried, although he won’t admit it) says that the cook is an idiot and instead of being stubborn and enduring and possibly dying, Zoro could help him. They could solve this problem. And in general it’s not even a problem, there’s nothing “special” about it, they’ll just forget about it after that and that’s it. However, despite his clouded consciousness, Sanji watched him very carefully and maybe he would have believed Zoro that “there is nothing special about this” if he had not been red as a tomato and his hands had not trembled so much, despite how tightly they were squeezing the collar of his shirt. 

So after a moment of silence, he carefully removed Zoro's hands, never taking his eyes off Zoro.

"Marimo. If you want to help me, help me. Stay with me. Make sure I don't do anything stupid. Restart my heart if it stops. Help me breathe if I can't anymore. But don't fucking ever offer me this solution again. That won't happen, not in circumstances like these. Not under pressure. I don't want to hear this. I'd rather fucking die than let anything control me and influence my actions. I am my own man, this is my body and only I can decide what and how."

There was something left unsaid. Something Zoro doesn't know yet about the cook's past. But he understands that it is important enough not to try to propose this solution anymore.

Silence fell after that, interrupted only by Sanji's heavy breathing and muffled wheezes of pain. Each of them with their own thoughts. Curly is strong, Zoro knows he will get through, but despite this, for some reason it’s hard to hear his pain. Zoro's hand twitches to reach out to him and somehow bring comfort. But he doesn't do that, he just sits next to him.

It becomes dark, night falls over the sea and a sudden thought comes to Zoro.

“You said that you don’t want it to happen under such circumstances.. Does that mean that under different..”

"Shut up shitty Marimo."

"..you would make out with me?"

Zoro doesn't see Sanji's face, he doesn't answer. But the silence is so loud that Zoro begins to think that he is about to suffocate. He wasn't prepared for how hard it would hit him.

They don't speak after that. It's deep into the night when Zoro hears that Sanji's breathing has become measured, he seems to have fallen asleep. The drug has worn off. Zoro sighs, feeling suddenly very tired and as if sobered up. This is an unpleasant and strange feeling. It was as if it suddenly became colder. He feels nervous and angry. And the worst thing is he understands why.

He is afraid of losing what he doesn't have. What he didn't know he needed. Something he didn't notice.

Sanji shifts in his sleep and Zoro feels a growl forming in his throat.

He doesn't sleep that night.

He guards.

[indianariesolive]

My Unpopular(ish) opinions/takes on Legacy of the Gods series by Rina Kent

Contains spoilers ⚠️

Starting off strong, let me just get this off my chest, I really dislike God of Malice. This is mainly due to the insufferable MCs; Killian & Glyndon.

First of all, I found Killian really difficult to empathize with. Sure, what his dad said about regretting having him sucks but that's no excuse to be an a$$hole. I'm sure that if a mid/ugly guy with no money & prestige did the same things he'd done when first meeting Glyndon (iykyk) they'd be mercilessly ripped apart by the fandom. Also that one line in his POV when he said that the main reason why he chose to be a med student was because that gave him a free pass to poke & prod into people's innards & watch them squirm in agony 🤢

Coming to the 2nd part, Glyndon. As a protagonist she was such a blank slate. Killian at least had personality! (A bad one but he had one nonetheless). Same can't be said about Glyndon with her wimpiness coupled with an absurd inferiority complex (despite being talented & surrounded by a powerful & loving family & friends) as well as her lack of a deep connection with her friend group. On a more serious note, I despise the absolute double standards with which she views Killian & her brother Landon. Both are clinically diagnosed psychopaths but she has none of the grace & understanding for her own brother but readily excuses her boyfriend's behavior even though both of them are the same person, different font. 🙄

Moving on to the 2nd book, God of Pain is one of my favorites in the series but not without its fair share of drawbacks. Even though Annika appeared to be a manic pixie dream girl at the beginning she grew on me as chapter by chapter, her POVs revealed her to be more complex & headstrong, contrasting the whimsical image she's perceived as (both by her love interest, the MMC Creighton as well as the other characters like her friends & family). She's a sweet, soft girl with a dormant badass side that can get dangerous when provoked & that's precisely what Creighton had to learn through the hard way.

Getting to the gist of my main problem, I really hated the way everyone treated Annika after the you-know-what. I mean, what else was she supposed to do, watch her beloved brother get murdered by the love of her life? Everyone cut her off 'cause 'she hurt Cray-Cray who's like our brother'. Well, SHE HAD TO DO THAT TO SAVE HER OWN BROTHER, YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASSES!!!! Y'all brains weren't braining here. Also, that scene near the end where there's this huge confrontation Creighton has with Adrian Volkov & Annika with her quick thinking just snatches a guard's gun, negotiates & diffuses the situation without bloodshed was just chef's kiss. 😌

Also, everyone gushes over Lia & Yan's friendship but Yan's bond with Annika, how he plays the role of the fun uncle while Adrian glares & has to rein them in as the level-headed dad. 🥺

That brings me to this sidenote: Glyndon could take a page out of Annika's book & learn a lesson: How to Love Your Brother & Stand Up for Yourself.

Regarding Jeremy & Cecily, I don't have any major complaints. I like how Cecily put Jeremy in his place & made him grovel for disrespecting her with his trust issues. Putting his mommy issues aside, Jeremy was overall a good character for a dark romance. He's got the hot biker thing going.

Moving on to Landon & Mia. I have nothing against Mia per se. She's pretty cool. I only hated how the author ruined her bond with her twin Maya. Also, I'm kind of ashamed to say that I wasn't the biggest fan of Landon at first but then going through his POVs made me realize that I'd been bought into the anti-Lan propaganda by Glyndon. He actually cares for his siblings, unlike Killian. He just has an unconventional way of showing it. Plus there wasn't a huge power-gap/imbalance between him & Mia so that's another point in his favour.

Last but not the least, God of Fury featuring Nikolai & Brandon has got to be among my top favorites. I only dislike the unnecessary mud-slinging with the irrelevant ex Clara. Everything else was perfection. I never expected Nikolai to be such an adorable & funny character. Also something I find really funny was that both in this book as well as in her POV, Glyndon claimed to be the one closest to Brandon. The way she described her dynamic with her brothers was, "Bran & I are a team against Lan." And not only did Brandon shut her down in a gentle yet firm tone, also her dense arse never noticed anything wrong with Brandon like!?!?! Landon was the one who'd picked on Brandon's tendency to hide & repress his emotions & stuff, and he was the one who'd tried to help Brandon open up, even if his attempt was unsuccessful. So much for her being the one on the same team lol.

[all-pacas]

Do you think chase actually is capable of having a healthy romantic relationship (pre or post cameron)? Any time he wants a romantic relationship, it's always in the most ridiculous circumstances (a nun, a mentally fucked up coworker). He only pursues women he knows won't work out.

I mean………kinda?

First of all, Chase has a running thing where he's a lil bit of a Romantic Idealist. He almost cancels his wedding because Cameron has "normal doubts" (that she stresses have no factor on her love or desire to marry him), because he thinks that's unreasonable. He meets a nun on a massive almost-died rebound, and falls in love. Cameron complains he has a naive view of love. Cameron!!

I'd also argue that, as much as we love to make fun of our girl, I don't know if Chase saw her as mentally fucked up. He knows she's struggling with her dead husband, but on the whole the two get along well, they are friends, he thinks she's kind of annoying and that it's weird she has a crush on House, but he thinks she's a good person. A caring person. Is that a bit of naive romantic idealism? Probably! But Cameron doesn't admit to her insanity, and Chase has a long history (House) of accepting (House) insanity at face value (House). I really think he probably thought of her as his nice, hot, slightly annoying colleague. He respects her! She wants to sleep with him! Win-win!

Of course, because he's deeply fucked up and needy and has this idealized idea that Love Will Be Perfect And Fix Me, he does kind of set himself up to fail. To Chase's credit, he and Cameron do have a fairly healthy romantic relationship for a couple years there, and he actually seems to be a pretty good boyfriend! He's insecure of House, but besides that? They both work insane hours and spend all their free time together with no issues. He's able to be very patient with Cameron's dead husband issues.

Take the episode where they get engaged. Cameron asks Chase for carte blanche "I'm delaying our vacation and you can't ask why." He isn't thrilled, but he accepts. No questions asked. Trusts her. After two days have passed, he's getting worried, but when he confronts her it's not you lied to me or you're cheating; he tells her he needs to know what's going on now, he gives her a chance to explain. She refuses, and he digs up his spine to dump her. That's pretty good! Good job with boundaries and trusting your partner despite your insecurities!

I'm not trying to make it seem like Chase is the perfect boyfriend and their relationship problems are all Cameron's (although the writing being in her POV doesn't help that). We see, for example, that Chase avoids problems hard (the drawer situation, d i b a l a), that he holds things in and avoids and can't or won't rely on Cameron for support. But overall, he seems to manage to be a fairly Good Boyfriend. I think he could manage a Healthy Romantic Relationship!

What I'm not convinced about if Chase really wants one. I mean, his idealistic love at first sight habits aside. You're not wrong that he attaches to people (like the nun, if not Cameron) he knows he doesn't have a future with. We also never hear of him having any real relationships before or after his divorce: he dated the S&M banker, but that was "years ago," and that's it. We see him flirt and later sleep with women, and honestly every bit of it is portrayed as perfectly polite and nice and consensual — he's not a sleazy playboy, he seems to be on good terms with all his one night stands. He could very easily have a relationship if he wanted, but he… doesn't.

Which could be from any number of things. I don't think it's that Cameron broke him or anything. Chase is a bit standoffish, actually. He's the only one of the old team to never reach out to the new kids in S4; he doesn't like Masters at all, he doesn't like Park and is aloof around Adams. He doesn't open up to people, he's very private. We're used to seeing him in the first few seasons around people he knows and (minus maybe Foreman) likes, but unless he's specifically putting on a charming act to get laid (and we know from All In and the wedding it's very much a charming act), he's actually… kind of reserved. We joke about Cameron picking him to sleep with, but it's probably not a coincidence that he fell for the one woman in his life he was sort of friends with, that he later tried to do the same with 13. Chase doesn't trust people, struggles to open up beyond schmoozing, doesn't have many friends or relationships outside work. I think he could have a healthy relationship, but I don't know if he'd look for one instead of hoping it fell into his lap.

[moltensmusings]

I have a question about your RWBY au: how would you handle teams facing consequences when making a big decision that backfires?

My problem with RWBY is that despite making choices that should had have consequences (telling government secrets to Robyn hill, pointing a gun at Whitney, agrus incident etc) the characters instead get rewarded for their actions.

What will you do differently?

I apologize because this got long and maybe veered a bit from the original question but here we go.

For a TL;DR: we need better world building, more apparent character flaws the narrative actively calls out, and villains to be dangerous

I think the main issue with why RWBY never had proper consequences, is that it largely operated (and still somewhat does) on rule of cool. Characters are powerful when the plot demands it in ways that kind of make the stakes feel nonexistent.

To properly implement consequences for characters we need to know what their flaws are and what they could get as punishment if those flaws aren't handled.

Our characters have some referenced flaws, but often times their flaws either never get checked because the writers don't view them as flaws needing to be fixed, or they're excused in canon. Bad things don't happen to them mainly because they mess up, they happen because bad people do bad things.

While pyrrha is the character I'm most annoyed about with the lack of depth, all of them are written to be cool and kind of flawless. So first step is I'd set up clear flaws from volume 1 and have them face consequences that will carry over long term. Here are some examples.

Ruby: For Ruby I feel like she tends to focus on handling things herself. She's incredibly self reliant to the point that she makes a lot of choices to do things solo that ultimately could get her killed. But the writers never go that far. She faces off against Cinder twice and leaves unscathed, if we're going to have her track Cinder to the tower, Ruby needs to leave wounded. Allowed to live because Cinder let her. Give her a scar that remains on her for the rest of the series. Maybe it's normally covered but it's a reminder of the dangers she faces. And even then we don't have to have her learn her lesson yet.

Yang is one where her consequences will effect the Atlas arc. Because I want her semblance to make her black out when she rages. Something she never focused on fixing because normally she could direct it before she blacks out so that the only person hurt is the one who caused the rage. Her teachers keep warning her of the damage she does to the area around her and how her black outs get longer the angrier she is. But she kind of waves it off because she's had this semblance for years and she knows how to deal with it.

However during the vytal festival when there are several competitions between schools and we build up a rivalry between team villain and team rwby we see her anger boiling. She's containing it and does a good job for a while, but the Mercury fight is the last straw. When she attacks Mercury its not just that she hits him once, in fact the villains new her rage made her black out and expected her to hit once. She downs him bad. She has to be restrained and the entire of remnant bears witness to her building rage culminating in her pummeling a kid from a different school. And when she attacks Adam that's once more her lashing out before thinking leading to her arm loss. When she travels she's met with wariness and fear because people know her as the girl that destroys.

Her six month hiatus is not just full of her wallowing over her arm, but angry over everything and raging out sporadically. I'd honestly give taiyang the same semblance as her being the one to help her train to properly control it. But the shadow of her actions won't disappear and people will try to exploit that weakness if she doesn't curb it.

For Blake it would be her being a traitor and running. RWY need their trust regained by her that she'll have to actively work towards doing so but it won't just be them. In Atlas Ironwood knows her past because he would've run checks on any people if interest and found her connection to Adam who was one of the people leading the attack on Beacon and subsequently also was the leader of a group that attacked Argus. Finding out she was a loyal follower of him almost her entire life means that she isn't let into the inner circle and in fact spends most of her stay in Atlas monitored and on probation. The group vouches for her but that can only pacify someone like Ironwood slightly.

For Weiss I'd have her actually be very loyal to authority figures in a way that often causes arguments between her team and her. In Atlas it would cause a major fight because if Yang were to spill secrets to Robyn, Weiss would probably avoid speaking to her for a decent amount of time. I think by that point she'd not outright tell Ironwood herself, but she would be furious at the disrespect. It would mean that more often than not, she's causing unnecessary disagreements in the group but it would also mean that she knows best how to handle people in places like Atlas.

Largely I'd just have a big focus on how dumb choices they make effect their relationships with people outside of the core group. Revealing secret information leads to Penny becoming very disappointed in them and a slight breakdown in the friendship. Potientially if Yang did it without talking to the others it now means Yang gets into a verbal fighting match with the rest of the gang because everything starts to go wrong.

Going off to fight things alone or not properly training means you get into situations that could maim or kill you. Trusting anyone too easily can result in someone dangerous entering your group with the intent to cause harm.

In general I'd really just focus on building flaws, turning down power levels at the start, and making the world and villains more dangerous. Also I think making each kingdom distinctly different in its politics and government could've helped make it so that the group trying to approach all situations the same backfires a lot. It's something I'd have to rewatch the show for to list specific instances of things I'd make consequences for but those are my current notes.

[titleknown]

...You know, while I still kinda hate degrowth as a movement, I kinda realized that as one economic technique amongst many, it's not only kinda good but necessary.

Like, comrade @marsworms helped turn me around on this, but like, thinking about it in the way that; say; a gardener prunes trees or rosebushes so they can grow makes sense.

And, like, the fact that we have approximately zero economic tools to do this without everything breaking is kind of a fucking problem, especially when we need to do that to sectors like; say; finance; advertising; or fossil fuel production in favor of the World War-level effort we need on the fucking climate problem.

It gets you to scenarios like the one this is making fun of where, when everyone would be kinda okay with maintaining a holding pattern; nobody can actually do that:

But the market has a solution! The solution is, unfortunately, trying to extract everything they can before it crashes and burns so capital can escape on golden parachutes while labor fucking dies in the impact.

Which, in addition to the obvious of being extremely cruel, is also enormously wasteful and destructive. And it would be nice if we had a better option than that, especially when the the thing that would be left to crash and burn is a livable ecosystem with a functioning global society...

...Now, the reason I hate degrowth as a movement is because I trust the fuckers most aggressively advocating for it approximately zero percent to administer such things in a way that isn't miserable.

This is both because of their monofocus on it as a total societal paradigm shift (remember that old aphorism about how fire is a good tool but a terrible master), and also their garbage hippie-aesthetic anprim/neo-Amish tendencies.

You can see this in their general broad contempt for the internet and personal computing despite how, I would argue, it is a massive good for humanity that should be expanded universally.

Or how they hypocritically talk about how much time people will have to do art, despite also aggressively advocating for the sorts of resource-bottlenecks that every artist in our current system can observe currently fucking them over, probably rooted in how they don't really seem to respect any artforms more materially-intensive than folk art (See also: How they think of digital forms of art)

Or the also two-faced way that they insist that they aren't advocating for austerity despite how much they talk about how much enforcement of their hippie aeceticism as paradigm shift would be based on a local panopticon.

Like, part of my initial broad-spectrum antipathy towards even the techique probably came from the people I first heard it from, like this site dedicated to news about transition towns, this one site that was heavy on what I'd later realize was a lefty version of the "great reset" theory, garbage like Peter Gelderloos' "An Anarchist Solution To Global Warming" or Giorgios Kallis' awful book "Limits" (Ask me about the fucking boat sometime, I have Words about that bit) or the sorts of people who unironically say "the concept of emerging technologies is a capitalist grift"

And, while I have added nuance, I still can't get over the sneaking suspicion that a lot of people who advocate for degrowth most actively are; in their hearts; still mostly kinda Like That...

[mariadotcom]

pennhurst - the start of going down (P. I)

hey guys, it's been a while since we last had some (or nay) interactions but life have been getting crazier by the second. i apologize since i left the blog untethered and filling with spiders and moths, but i'm (partially) back and hope you like this little romance, thrilling horror or something i've been working on on my free time. if not, dm me and i'll hear ya! xo maria

prompt: y/n is an immigrant from south america, she owns a bodyshop and there's where she meets sam and colby. as the friendship between them blossoms, other things arise as well, perhaps some of them should've remain buried. ghosts from the past, a difficult romance and a carrousel of ups and downs between them form a storm - but the living aren't the problem alone amidst this tempestuous story. WARNINGS: none, i guess. but strong language, NOT for minors, and i am a mess so god knows - and popular demand tells - when will i post the following chapter.

we promised we'd be back in full blast but not to exaggerate much and get ourselves - especially colby - hurt. since chemo ended, he's been more active and i, as friend who's been there through good and bad, think he deserves a time doing what he loves, performing his job oh so gracefully.

usually, i'm off-screen and i'm glad about it - helping the boys carring their stuff around and exploring places with friends on my days-off. this time around the only differencial would be colby's health on watch; sam was being careful and watching over him more than any of us would, despite that being expected. although something was off, i could feel it. the way colby would glare at people sometimes, with tears in his eyes. he'd be saying the most deep and thoughtful shit, but usually was hitting harder. "say what you feel to the ones you love, y/n" he'd say and i'd anwer "i love you, colby. it's never enough how much...". we met when they moved to Vegas at a bodyshop i own. they trusted their cars with me and we ended up bonding and becoming friends, colby was more standoffish at first but he came around once he learned that i was to be trusted - at least a bit.

the cancer news hit us all like a brick to the head, a cold rush of familiarity through my veins. it was all so new yet so similar. gladly, the treatment and the operation were enough, and he was never alone. not a single second. sam was alway there for him and so was i, whenever they chimed me in. anyways, on the welcome-back trip, sam thought a trip would do him good whereas i thought an exploration would serve better. combining both, for colby, was the greatest so that's what we did. sam chose the location through some people he met along the way of the chanel, i was so excited to finally know the spot i barely focused on colby and what was he saying.

"....then we could try to explore the place ourselves. what you think, y/n?" he said while scrolling through his phone. it wasn't sam and colby's first visit there, but it was mine and they wanted me to have a good time and full immersive experience. "huh?" i questioned "this whole thing is about YOU, colbert. you should be the one 'thinking' of something."

"yeah, yeah. i just want to make sure we all have fun, you know?" his pale blue eyes stared at me for a second and, as usual, i stared back. i couldn't get enough. "y/n?" he called.

"sure, colby. i'll do whatever you want me to..." i stated focusing on the pile of e-mails stacking in my inbox.

"isn't it time for you to take a vacation? some time off?" colby asked seeing how busy and overwhelmed i was. i sighned, he moved from one couch to another to sit closer. "c'mon you could stay some time with us, ditch the company for a few days..."

i cut him off before he could finish his line of thought "colby, you know i can't. the company is expanding.... i need to focus" i rolled my eyes and rested my head upon his shoulder. we watched as sam entered the room, sweaty shirt signaling he just came back from the gym "hello, lovebirds," he said jokinlgy "what are we discussing?"

"how y/n should get a few weeks of vacation" colby gently backed up, laying my head on the couch as he stood up to greet sam and the grocery bags i just now realize he had been holding for a while. "you're obviously in need of some of it, y/n. why don't we make this trip a bit longer so you can take AT LEAST a few days more to reset?" sam suggested.

"but i...." "you can't run no company if you're worn out, dude" sam cut me. "besides, it is YOURS. you're the boss! c'mon, we'd love to have you for a couple days more, right colby?"

"yeah, besides you still owe me a movie night!" colby stated. it's been months since i've been promising the movie night with thrilling and horror movies, just colby and i, to talk about how he has been feeling lately and other stuff. it's always a pleasure be around such a good friend. [wish we were a bit more than that].

"you know what, you two!" i started with and angry tone, eyes still closed, still laying on their couch. "you're right...." i cooled down. "i need to get some rest. i'll take 3 weeks off and nothing more but please, you both are in charge of me"

"couting now?" colby joked.

"no, robert, couting monday..."

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Friday afternoon after my last meeting, i was still rushing around, making sure every inch of the bodyshop was clean, organized, ready for monday morning's routine of receiving and fixing cars and guaranteeing excellence to costumers. my CEO (and godfather, altogether) made sure they'd be fine without me for a couple weeks and he'd only call in emergencies. i was hoping for little to none, but leaving for the first time in years was still frightening.

i saw the old toyota corolla make a corner, if there were a better picture than that, colby's glass were not really dark-stained so i could see through it. he was wearing, shockingly, a dark green shirt, black and green jacket and i could swear i saw someone on the backseat for a split second. knowing him, i'd be either surprised or scared the second i set foot in the car. gathering my stuff from my office quickly, i found my old devotion notebook. i remembered that work has been draining me so much i forgot i am too a sensitive religious person - but not the convetional one. the door was pushed and the fragrance that followed screamed his name, i didn't even had to turn around to recornize him but his words affirmed what i thought. "are we going?" colby questioned. "mhmm" i replied. "let me just check my e-mails one last time...."

"oh fuck no!" colby shouted, running around the table and taking the laptop from me. he then locked it inside a drawer and kept the keys. "i'll give it back to you in a week or two, when we're far away from this office." he said firmly.

after a moment of silence, he said "you deserve this...." "hey! we're traveling! it'll be fun! plus, your family can handle everything else."

"and we'll call if we can't." my godfather/uncle Victor entered the room, his arms crossing in front of him once he stopped beside colby. them both being tall made a shadow fawn over me, intimidating a little. "we will miss you, but you haven't stop since forever. get some rest, kiddo" my uncle Victor said. "and you make sure she stays alright! i'll need her back!" he warned colby.

"sure thing, sir! i'll bring her back in one piece in maybe 3 weeks." colby said gathering my stuff and pulling me to the car. "maybe? it's a definitely, gentleman." Victor said. we both giggled making our way to his car.

"every time i come around to pick you up, i feel like we're 16" colby joked as i looked around in the car. [who the fuck was inside]. he arched an eyebrown confused to as why was i snooping around. "yo, you good?" he asked. i shaked my head 'yes' but there was some sinking feeling something was off.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°\/°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° the flight was scheduled to sunday morning, this way we'd be in pennsylvania by noon or so. it was still saturday morning when the first nightmare hit, it was still dark outside and the guest room in sam and colby's place felt degrees colder than usual. i guess it was so intense i screamed and sam woke me up, worried. colby followed him suit behind with flustered cheeks and heavy eyes.

"what's wrong?" sam asked, sitting in the bed beside me. his weight made the covers safer, calmer. my thoughts coming down from a high as soon as he pressed his warm hand on my forehead to see if i had a fever. "you're not hot or anything...." sam said and colby giggled.

"yeah she's definitely hot, jus not your type, bro." colby corrected and sam's cheeks brigthen up red, you could barely see through the soft and dim yellow light from the tiny lamp that stood beside the bed. "you know i don't mean that...." sam started. "you're... you're pretty hot you know. i'd rather say beautiful but..."

"romeo, i guess she just had a bad dream, right?" colby leaned on the doorframe. his white ripped tee a little too ripped and sam's soft grip on my face slowly became a light caress. "i guess i'll leave juliet to go back to sleep then." sam said giving me a concerned look. "okay?" i nodded.

"i'm sorry" i muttered, my voice coming back to me. "didn't mean to wake you up, guys" sam rolled his eyes and lightly pinched my cheeks. "stop being a dumbass..." he said getting up and making his way out. "i'll be in my room. if you need anything, CALL! don't scream. you scared the shit out of me" sam said as he made his way to his bedroom.

it was colby's turn to say something. do something. but instead, he just stood there, leaning against the door while i sat on the bed, still processing what was the nightmare about. only flashes flooding my memories, little by little. drowning my thoughts. "can i come in?" he finally asked after what felt like forever in silence. "mhmmm" i hummed.

different from sam, colby was more straight forward with whatever he wanted. this being said, it wasn't hard to agree that he, in fact, went under covers and laid beside me. "robert, what are you doing? are you insane?" i coiled beside him. my dressing wasn't very modest to welcome him in bed with me as i was using a big tee and panties. "as if i never laid next to another woman. get off yourself" he complained.

i sneakily grabbed my pajama shorts from my side of the bed and put them in under the blankets, by this time, colby had rolled over. his face turn to me but his eyes closed - perhaps privacy or just him trying to fall back asleep. i facepalmed breathing loudly trying to erase the feeling of uneasyness from my body after the terrible dream, but colby's hand on my tight and his firm grip startled me a bit. "c'mon, lay down. it's 2:30 in the morning... i'll stay here with you" he muffled in the pillows. "c'mooooooon" colby whined.

"i just...it was so vivid, you know.... these buildings, the feeling i got...." i started but my as soon as i did, my heart went racing. colby sat, his eyes barely opening, one arm around me and the other caressing my leg. "are you okay?" he asked, his hand moving upwards trying to soothe me. "sometimes reals can feel so real, right? but don't stress over it too much, i'll stay here." he said calmly. "maybe we can call sam and...."

"ugh you're such a whore, brock" i laughed as i laid in bed, him doing the same. "thanks, by the way..." he raised an eyebrown, eyes fast closed. "for the what?"

"for staying."

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the day went smoothly and sunday noon was approaching. pennsylvania sounded near althought a 6 hour flight separated the two states and increased in a rapid speed our hunger. i slept through most of it since the nightmares became a thing over the weekend - minus the screaming, thankfully - and sam became my personal caressing pillow. his soft words, as soft as his hands, lulled me to sleep seconds into the flight. colby was an aisle down to us and never stopped chatting with the pretty petite blonde girl sat next to him, when i finally woke, they seemed more acquainted then when the flight was getting ready to take off.

"they kissed" sam filled me in, first thing when i woke. "wow, really?" "mhmm, colby's like that now" he said turning a page from a book he was reading. "yeah i guess he always had been, but it's more of a show off about it now" i replied adjusting my messy cruly hair. "i'm glad i'll always have you, never normal sam" joking, i said. he just elbowed me lightly, giving the most warm upside down smile.

"how are you?" i asked noticing he'd been refusing to look at the notifications on his phone. he just glared. "i mean, this number must belong to SOMEONE. won't you answer?" sam sighed. "it's kat. we.... i...." his words started to crample together but luckily the pilot interrupted him with the announcement of landing. both of us releasing the air inside our lungs we weren't aware we'd been holding. "hey... i know it must be hard. i'm always here to hear you.... and maybe crack joke about it though." i reaffirmed. sam held my hand and gave it a caring kiss, leaving it as a thank you note with everything he wanted to say but couldn't right now.

the plane landed, we got our bags. sam and colby rented a car and decided this could make a video: traveling with friends, living the now, doing what they like and going old fashion - no hardwire equipments, no electronics by the dozens, no mediatic pressure and no place for nothing but good times. it came late, but it didn't fail. colby surprised sam and i at the restaurant. we were peacefully eating like dinosaurs when a pair of hands gripped sam's shoulder tight - not enough to hurt him, but enough to have him startled. sam and colby's friend, nate, stood behind sam and i while we ate.

nate is a cool guy, very chill and funny. he's always down to whatever the boys propose him to, thus incouraging me to do the same. although we have a good time together, sometimes and only sometimes, i have a glipmse of myself and feel a little unconscious. the many women approaching them - being for fame, recognition, looks or whatever - are gorgeous, the kind of girl you'd see on tampon commercials or maybe a lame movie with only hot chicks using ridiculous clothes to perform complex tasks. i'm just normal and - for a while - it's good being average, but oh boy, how i wish i was....

"hey, gorgeous!" nate complimented me as he plopped on the empty chair beside me. "how have you been, girl?" he sassed. i rolled my eyes, smile growing wider. "i've been good, nataniel." i teased back.

"what's with you and names?" colby asked downing a bit of his drinks. he had a halfway fresh oranje juice glass that i insisted he'd take instead of whatever processed shit he'd prefer. "you see, COLBERT," i emphasized before continuing, earning everyone's smile "it's funnier that way. plus, i get to tease you all about fictional names that suit you fine" i gulped my juice myself.

"well, we should think about a nickname for you to call it your own, then" nate threw his arms around my chair and said, leaning over a bit. "maybe we should call you...." as soon as nate was forming a thought, sam's phone rang. it was the person responsible for our tour and stay, so we went quieter so sam could figure whatever out. we couldn't help ourselves to kick one another under the table and whisper sweet nothings to each other while making dramatically silly faces - or copy whatever sam was saying in a husk tone, just to ease up the mood. "yeah, sure. i guess it'll be a great idea!" sam said. "i guess we can share some rooms, there's no problem with it...." finally, we fell dead silent to hear what he was saying and when sam noticed, he put them on speaker.

"i'm sure you can all share, but wouldn't it be fun if you got separate rooms?!" the person on the other end asked with a malice in their voice. you could tell it was a sllightly older man and if it wasn't from previous experience, you barely couldn't differ the amount of cigarretes he'd smoken before. "i mean, it's a haunt tour but we have buildings able to accomodate you 3 perfectly nice, and the area is still new to renovations so you guys could do some recording if you'd like"

"actually, josh, we are in a group of 4 now. a friend decided to join us, is that an issue?" sam asked. "not at all, sam! we love to have you and any friend of yours as guests! is colby coming?" the man asked "surely he is!" colby answered affirming he was part of the group listening. "well, then it'll be awesome having you guys!" "it'll be awesome staying with you, josh! see you in a bit" sam hushed and ended the call.

"well, i hope you're in for a ride," sam said. "we have the place to ourselves and...." "yeah, but where is the place? WHAT is the place?" nate asked, finally tackling our doubts. "we're going to pennhurst asylum."

author's notes: thoughts? call the roaches and complain. (kidding, leave it here under NOTES or message me)