#only made possible by the cryo slowing effect i think

[relto]

i really want to see what happens when you take furina on a walk into the storm around inazuma. no low ar player has accepted my join request so far.

did a few runs of that stamina eating talent domain. i think i accidentally did a dragonstrike with hu tao???

[idyllic-affections]

together through thick and thin.

summary. their love for kaeya was not conditional. trigger & content warnings. depictions of burn wounds, canon-typical ragnvindr family drama, slight violence. tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. hurt/comfort. kaeya & ragnvindr!reader, implied venti & ragnvindr!reader. 1.3k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. soul crushing angst is my favorite kind of fanfic! just kidding. im sensitive and i like hurt/comfort more than anything... can you guys tell i like kaeya more than diluc? anyways the reader is an anemo user in this fic because... anemo users and their, ahem, issues, if yk what i mean......

       Freezing drops of rain pelted painfully against their skin, piercing the raw flesh of their various burn wounds like little knives.

       Fuck, it was cold and hot all at the same time.

       Unsteadily, their trembling hands drew their coat closer to their body as they darted towards Mondstadt City. They winced as their charred fingertips brushed against the fabric, choking out a whining sob at the shock to their overworked nerves. Pitiful shivers wracked their form; whether that was because of the raging storm in their head or in the skies was debatable, really. Perhaps it was the consequence of both. Perhaps it was simply because of the severity of their burns. They couldn't be sure.

       What they were sure about, however, was that they needed to get away from Dawn Winery.

       In that moment, they couldn't care less about the way their brothers had so desperately tried to stop them from running off. One thing they couldn't possibly handle right then was looking into either of their eyes.

       (Though, their reasons for not wanting to look at each brother were different—very different.

       They couldn't bear to look Diluc in the eyes because how could he dare to raise his blade to his own brother? His own—formerly—visionless brother? How could he bear to hurt him like that, knowing that there might've been no effective way for Kaeya to defend himself, had he not received his Cryo vision at the perfect moment?

       Moreover, how could Diluc bear to hurt them like that? Mentally and physically, he'd created wounds that would leave lasting scars on their young body and mind.

       Their burn wounds throbbed.

       Wounds caused by either element littered opposite sides of their body, but only the Pyro burns still stung. That fact indicated that Diluc had struck with real, furious intent.

       Kaeya did not, however.

       The ice burns barely ached, while the fire burns pulsated and seared and sent chills up their spine with every movement they made. Diluc had struck with the intent to seriously injure, perhaps even... neutralize—they couldn't think of their brothers killing one another; the simple thought made bile climb up their aching throat—Kaeya.

       That was why they couldn't bear to meet his eyes.

       On the other hand, they couldn't bear to look at Kaeya because they knew that the moment they did, they would burst uncontrollably into tears. He'd suffered so long, keeping a secret like he had, only for Diluc to attack him so cruelly when he decided to tell the truth and confide in someone he thought he could trust?

       Admittedly, Kaeya's timing was beyond awful—who reveals a secret like that immediately following their father's death?—but still. He deserved so, so much better.

       They would face him first when they felt ready to.

       He needed to know that at least one Ragnvindr still loved and trusted him wholeheartedly.)

       Times like these were those that made them grateful for their Anemo vision; there was no way possible that either brother would be able to keep up with them, regardless of how injured the youngest Ragnvindr was. They would always be faster. However, the rain paired with their wounds did slow them down just a little.

       Being an Anemo bearer meant being agile and fast.

       They were very thankful for that.

       The Mondstadt Cathedral was already within their sight. Briefly, they wondered how fast they really must have been running to make such distance so rapidly, but they shook the thought off almost instantly. The blinding, pulsing teal light emitted from their vision was enough to give them a clue.

       Perhaps Lord Barbatos looked upon them with sympathy, for having one's father pass on only hours before a brutal, irrational battle between their only remaining family was quite possibly the hardest thing a teen their age would have to go through. It was something they would never forget, something that would permanently change the way they saw the world. Perhaps he recognized that.

       Perhaps he had spared them the strength they needed to get to Mondstadt City safely without collapsing. They liked to think so; any little crumb of comfort and safety they could latch onto was something they would not pass up on. In their fragile state, they needed everything they could get. If Lord Barbatos was watching them in these horrible moments, then they were safe. They were comforted. Regardless of how silly it might have seemed to some foreigners—Mondstadters knew well that such behaviors were normal and common, regardless of if they were rooted in faith or not—they had been whispering their sorrows to the wind since they were little. Some nights, they were lucky enough to hear gentle melodies carried on the breeze as an encouragement to go on.

       Surely, they thought, those occurrences were not simply a trick of the mind. Based on what they knew, compared to some other deities...

       Lord Barbatos was a gentle god, an Archon of his people. They wholeheartedly believed that.

       Their teary eyes flickered upwards as they approached the Cathedral, pounding their less injured hand against the doors.

       The response they got was almost instantaneous, and upon seeing them, the sisters were absolutely petrified. What was someone of prestigious descent doing in a state like that? Why were they not at Dawn Winery? Why had they run all the way to Mondstadt City?

       Shaking, soaking wet, with wounds that only seemed to ache more as the adrenaline left their system, the youngest Ragnvindr child was rushed into the welcoming warmth of the Favonius Cathedral for immediate treatment.

                         — flower of the universe !! 🌸

       The silence was heavy and thick as their wounds were treated.

       "What happened?" Grace* inquired sweetly, hand tenderly tilting their chin so that they'd meet her gaze when they didn't reply. They absently leaned into the comfort of her touch. "Young Ragnvindr? Darling, what happened? Where did these wounds come from?"

       "...I don't really want to talk about it," they murmured in a whispery voice, eyes fluttering shut. The exhaustion on their face was blatant. She hummed, thumb brushing over their cheekbone soothingly.

       "I understand."

       The tense air seemed to thin out slightly, and they sighed. Most of the other sisters had gone elsewhere by then, which they were grateful for; the quiet was much appreciated. Muffled tapping of rain against the roof and stained glass windows was the only sound occupying the space (other than Grace's heels clicking as she began to put the spare medical supplies away—she'd have a certain Hydro user evaluate their condition the following morning). It was calming in its own way.

       Their heart leapt into their throat when the doors slammed open.

       There stood none other than Kaeya, drenched and panting.

       "Sir Kaeya!" the woman called frantically, rushing to his side to shut the doors before turning to him in search of any wounds. All he did was wordlessly brush her off.

       Earlier, they'd assumed it was physically impossible for them to cry any more, yet their eyes began to shimmer with the sheen of unshed tears upon his entry.

       A pathetic sob left their lips as they reached out in his direction, only comparable to the way would reach out for him or Diluc when they were small and had a nightmare. "Kae— Kaeya..!"

       The pulsing ache in their entire body made it so impossibly difficult to stand. A pair of strong arms caught them before they could fall when they did make an attempt to. He frantically pulled them close, one hand cradling the back of their head as if they were the most fragile thing to ever exist while the other wrapped securely around their waist, supporting the entirety of their weight.

       They tucked their face into the crook of his neck, hands pressed against his chest, and they sobbed. Incoherent apologies and declarations of love and trust spilled from their lips. Archons, what even were they apologizing for? They knew that they had done nothing wrong, and yet a heavy sense of guilt weighed on their chest.

       Kaeya only hushed their cries with such love and tenderness that it was clear he understood what they wanted to say.

*grace is a nun npc in mondstadt who can be found in the favonius cathedral at night. she is described as motherly to children who lack a parental figure or figures in their lives.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[hikari3601]

Amidst The Snow (Part III)

Home page

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Pairing | Albedo x Fem!Reader

Authors Note | Not to imply that I have favourite or anything, but this is my favourite part. After the long wait, it has finally arrive. PLEASE LIKE, REBLOG AND SHARE!

Warnings | This is a continuation therefore, I suggest you read the other parts to completely understanding. Explicit descriptions of blood, poisoning, wounds. Brief mentions of infections, delirium and hypothermia.MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH (reader) If the other 2 parts didn’t clarify: THIS GETS DEPRESSING!

Note | Reader is a hydro wielding, polearm user from the Knights of Favonius (it’s for plot purposes) and this was written before the release of Ver 2.3 ‘Shadows Amidst Snowstorms’ and was purely based on what was shown in the trailer -so it’s not entirely canon.

Synopsis | An innocent trip to Dragonspine took a turn for the worse.

Flaming Essential oil; Frostshield potion; Stabilised whopperflower sap; Dried flaming flower head and pyro slime secretions.

There was nothing I had missed, every option, every conclusion and every single concoction I could think of —all twenty-four varied mixtures, of which, only eight would have no side effects after digestion.

I reread the list again, in hopes that I had overlooked something, anything, but I had done it all. Surely there was something I was missing, some factor I hadn’t taken into account; there had to be, why else wouldn’t you have woken up by now?

For a moment I glanced outside, wishing that we could be anywhere else than in such an unforgiving environment.

The storm outside craved blood, slicing through any flicker of warmth -I could only hope that the others had succeeded in defeating that whopperflower and had made it to a shelter in time.

I turned my focus back to you, staring at your dimmed complexion and lax features, again trying to think of another solution for your lack of response.

The cryo had already melted; your hypothermia had eased away -even the blood around your wounds had been cleaned and the wound itself stabilised.

What else was there?

An infection? It was likely, but I had already taken that into account.

Blood loss? That was a given I had already dealt with; but if something had entered your blood like some sort of poison or virus, that would be a completely different story.

I thought back to my encounter with the whopperflower, racking my mind for some sort of solution, and then it hit me.

Blood, but not your own.

The cryo shards that penetrated your flesh had most likely been imbued with Durin’s blood, that was the only possibility I had overlooked, but if that were the case, Archons—

As if in a trance, my limbs moved to your side, raising the fabric around your injuries with an unfamiliar anxiousness.

I felt everything around me slow down to a complete standstill when I saw the inky veinlike markings that seemed to crawl throughout your body, sapping the life away from you whilst feeding into your delusions.

I looked to you again, to find any traces of discomfort or pain -but there were none and I found myself pondering over your innermost desires.

I had studied this concept a few years ago, how some minds race towards any other train of thought rather than focusing on the stressful circumstances overwhelming them in an attempt to defend themselves.

I was doing that, wasn’t I?

Going about every other topic rather than the one at hand because I didn’t want to acknowledge what was already an incontestable fact.

I’ve never dreamed before, but maybe this was what people call ‘nightmares,’ going off of your description of those horrid thoughts, so maybe I’d wake up soon.

I took your hand in mine and closed my eyes, hoping that when I open them again, you would still be beside me —just not like this.

XxxX

Walking into the chaotically organised lab, I set the two mugs of steaming coffee down on a vacant table beside the door and strolled over to the alchemist.

“Wakie-wakie Bedo.” I called, “Time to get ready for work.”

With his head laying on his crossed arms like a pillow, he reminded me of a cat with that messy hair of his.

“Honestly,” I muttered, “How do you not have any back problems?”

“—I do…” He yawned, sitting up from his seat and stretching his back, at the movement I could’ve sworn I heard several bones crack into place.

The recollection of the way he had to stretch his spasming muscles whenever he used his vision vividly flashed in my mind for a moment. “Could have fooled me.”

“You’re not a cat, you know. You can’t just sleep anywhere, especially in your lab, it’s dangerous with all these unstable chemicals and it strains your body.” It was difficult to stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth, nagging him about things I knew he was already aware of and yet I couldn’t help the urge to ensure his comfort and health.

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” He teased, a smile pulling at his mouth at my reprimanding tone.

“Yes, I would.” My agreement was passionate, overly passionate until I realised that he was being sarcastic.

“Oh shush you. It’s far too early for this.” I moved to grab his mug, “Here.”

The aromatic whiff of ground coffee beans seemed to instantly rejuvenate the alchemist. He turned to me with a gaze of appreciation and smiled again, “Thanks, your brew?”

“Only the best.” I grinned, taking a sip of my own as well, and basking in its flavour.

“So when did you get back?” He questioned, referring to my most recent trip to Sumeru. I thought about his query, knowing that I had returned late at night, but vaguely unsure of the time.

“Around past three this morning, I saw your light still on while I was dropping off some documents in the library and figured you were still busy in here.”

“Hmm. How was your trip?”

“Long, but I’ll tell you all about it after the meeting.”

The air in the room stilled.

“Meeting?” He echoed.

“How’d I know you’d forget?” A smile spread itself onto my face and a laugh spilt from my lips. “All department heads are scheduled to meet every Monday morning at exactly eight-thirty in Jean’s office.”

“It’s Monday.” He bluntly stated and turned in his seat to look at the clock.

“We’ve got 15 minutes left before it starts.” Albedo concluded, slumping in his seat —probably at the realisation that he slept in.

“I’m aware,” I chuckled, “We just need to fix that desk hair of yours before we go. It’s all squished to the one side.”

XxxX

“Bedo?”

He felt his body react before his mind could even realise that you had woken up. You called to him again, shifting slightly to see his face and when you caught his eye, he lingered on your every crevice, searching for some sort of confirmation that you were indeed alright now, yet his search was futile.

Albedo attempted to steady his trembling hands and muster up the most comforting smile he could manage -not that you would have noticed, you were far too gone to even fathom your diminishing time.

“When did we get back home?” You queried, scrutinising every stone around you with glazed eyes.

Your body ached for a reason you couldn’t quite place your finger on and despite the restful nap you had just woken from, you still felt exhausted.

Albedo remained silent for what felt like a lifetime before you repeated yourself, unsure of whether he had heard you the first time.

“A few hours ago, you fell asleep while we were taking a quick break so we figured we’d let you sleep in the caravan for the rest of the way down.” The words felt sour on his tongue, he disliked lies and yet he found the words bitterly falling from his lips with a sort of ease that only adrenaline could bring.

You nodded at his words in a daze, stretching and relieving yourself of the last remnants of sleep before turning to your companion with an excitement that would have been contagious had it not been for the glimpses of inklike veins he caught along your skin.

You were getting worse.

“I have a question for you, Albedo. About what we spoke about some time back…with regards to your emotions.” You paused, swallowing the burning sensation in your throat. “Do you still feel the same?”

To say that your question had caught him off guard would be an understatement, shocking the blond into silence as he mulled over your words.

Yes, it was obvious that his overly objective view of his very own emotions had caused him to overlook the fact that his emotions were biased -more so towards you, the source of the many joys in his life.

“If you still feel that way, it’s completely alright, I just wanted to get this off of my chest now that we’re back in Mond.”

It was then when it occurred to him that he hadn’t answered you yet.

“Even if you don’t feel the same, I wanted to express my gratitude to you. Since our first encounter you’ve done nothing but bring joy into my life -making all of my trips easier because I knew that I’d always come back to have a cup of coffee in your lab and somehow make each and every one of our Favonius meetings more bearable with the small looks you sent my way.”

“And Archons, there’s so much more that you’ve done for me that I can’t even begin to put into words, because you’re just that brilliant -and you can forget about what I’m about to say if you desire, but Albedo I harbour feelings so inexplicable towards you that the mere idea of them makes me bubble with energy -and this is coming from an insomniac. I love you so dearly…and even if you don’t reciprocate the feelings, I’ll find a way to live with that, but-“

"They’ve changed.” He rushed, a hand grasping onto yours. “My sentiments have changed.”

He watched as your eyes widened, mouth gaping and closing while he squeezed your hand -a silent affirmation to your rising questions.

You shifted with a newfound energy as your body struggled to contain its newfound joy, “Really?”

With a strained smile, the alchemist nodded his head and waited to hear your next response as your lips parted, but the both of you were stunned into silence after violent coughs racked your body, leaving you gasping for air once they had eased.

When calmed, you allowed the soothing hand on your back to continue its motions.

“It’s strange,” you began; trying to blink away the exhaustion settling in your eyes, “I just woke up, yet I still feel so tired.”

At your words, Albedo’s heart stuttered and the hand on your back froze, eventually moving to cup your face. “Whatever you do, Y/N, you mustn’t fall asleep.” He pleaded, to which you only hummed.

“There’s this place I want to show you.” You grinned, your delirium truly beginning to limit your understanding. “It’s not too far from Vannessa’s Tree -actually it’s close to that boat Klee destroyed. On clear nights you can see the stars reflecting on the water's surface, like a mirror. It’s a stunning view, better than the one at Starsnatch Cliff in my opinion. I go there every so often to clear my head and relax; I thought I’d share it with you.”

The idea sounded wonderful to Albedo and under normal circumstances he probably would have been thrilled to spend more time with you -especially in a place so dear to you, yet no matter how hopelessly he tried, he couldn’t fight the weight that settled on his chest, but the nail on his coffin was the bashful confession that followed -that you wanted to remain by his side for as long as you could.

“If you’re not too busy, how about we go take a look after I wake up, I don’t think it’ll be cloudy—”

“You can’t fall asleep.” Albedo repeated, his voice beginning to reveal his desperation, nevertheless, it all went over your head.

“Why not? I’m so tired.” You pouted, leaning forward to rest your head on his shoulder.

“Because if you do…” He paused, scared to finish his sentence and acknowledge what was to come, because if you were to fall asleep, he wouldn’t be able to guarantee that you’d awake, instead, he sang the same pleadings over and over again in hopes that you’d listen to him, but you didn’t -couldn’t; not when the blood of his ‘brother’ had already stripped you of your vitality.

“I promise I’ll take you there Albedo, just be sure to wake me up in a few minutes.” You lopsidedly smiled although your eyes drooped with every second they remained open. “Okay?”

You didn't wait for his answer, already repositioning to lie down. “Archons, I’m exhausted.” You mumbled before turning to meet his shimmering gaze. “Don’t look so sad, it’s just ten minutes -we’ll be out and about before you know it.”

With a final squeeze to his hand, you allowed your eyes to draw to a close and Albedo helplessly watched as your breathing slowed to a complete halt and for the first time in his entire existence he felt the sensation of tears spilling from his eyes.

Between his frantic shouts of your name and the drying of his tears, Albedo was unsure of how much time had lapsed, but he lifted his head from your still chest when he heard the distinct twinkling of the Traveler’s companion zooming into his encampment with eyes visibly set on finding you -and when they did, she froze. Her eyes dimmed with a childlike sorrow before she fled behind Aether’s cape.

Confused by the fae’s behaviour, the rest of the group entered. Their sights landed on Albedo’s kneeling frame first before moving to your lifeless one beside him.

“No,” it was Amber’s voice who had broken the silence first as she made her way to you. “She can’t be— no… She can’t be gone.” She turned to Albedo with a pleading look in her honey eyes. “She’s just resting, right?”

“Amber…” Eula’s stepped forward.

“Please Albedo, tell me she’s only asleep.” The Outrider continued only to break down in bitter sobs when the alchemist solemnly shook his head.

They descended the mountain that evening in complete silence, safe for the sporadic sniffles belonging to either Amber or Paimon -even Bennett managed to stave off his bad luck during their trip back.

When the group returned a large meeting was held within the Favonius headquarters announcing your passing to the knights, leaving your many friends, colleagues and subordinates tearful and forlorn.

Albedo remained at the back of the hall as Jean spoke, trying to come to terms with the events prior to their descent whilst searching for the words to tell his sister knowing that she looked up to you.

The meeting ended as Jean mournfully left for her office. Kaeya quickly found Albedo as he headed towards the exit with words of quiet condolences on his lips before allowing the blond to leave.

Albedo would have noticed the slight gloss over the Captain’s eye had it not been for the way the blue-haired man avoided all eye contact until he had separated. He thought back on all your adventurous escapades featuring the Cavalry Captain -he would probably miss you as much as Albedo would.

The trip to Vannessa’s Tree was spontaneous, no doubt something you would have done. As he arrived at the broken boat, he peered into the shallow waters and indeed, he could see the vast multitude of stars shimmering within its reflection.

There he remained -a part of him still hoping that the entire day had merely been a nightmare. That he’d open his eyes to find yours brimming with life again; instead he heard you beside him. Laughing as the cold water tickled your legs, but when he turned you were nowhere to be found -he had only heard the sound of your memory from the days spent at the Golden Apple last year.

After having heard enough trickery from the wind, Albedo returned to the city. Passing by some of your favourite shops on his way to your home and with a heavy sigh, he bent to retrieve your spare key from under the pot plant.

The door opened with a slight creek before Albedo was met with the absolute silence of your abode.

He gingerly stepped through your doorway, his body instantly embraced by your lingering scent causing fresh tears to well up in his teal eyes.

Closing the door behind him and turning on the few lamps at the entrance, Albedo’s sight landed on a small jar collecting dust on your counter. He stepped closer, examining its familiar shape until he finally pieced together its contents.

It was the cecilia he had given you some few months ago and although he should have been happy to see that you had kept it, his heart couldn’t help but clench at the sight -for the cecilia had wilted.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Non-Sequential [Ch. 16]

Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader

One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.

Word Count: 3,100

Chapter 15

Bucky squinted as the sun beamed down on him.

It had become a routine of sorts. Y/N, not knowing anyone in Wakanda nor willing to make new friends in her current state, would usually find her way down to Bucky’s farm eventually. Some days she couldn’t bring herself to leave her room. But it felt like those were becoming less and less of a thing.

She’d ask Bucky if she could help with anything. He refused to give her any actual job. He pretty much just asked her to feed the animals, or convinced her they needed to be talked to or they’d get irritated.

Mostly Y/N just sat on a bail of hay or a blanket he’d throw on the ground for her and read while Bucky worked around the farm.

She almost never talked to him.

Bucky wished she would, but being able to keep an eye on her was good enough for him…for now.

“You ever take a break from reading?” He called out in exasperation after he threw another bail of hay off the large wagon.

She eyed him, “To do what exactly?”

Bucky’s smile faltered a little bit, knowing he was nearing dangerous territory. “Ever considered writing something of your own?”

Y/N glared at him, “You mean like a diary?”

He shrugged. “Diary, journal, notebook – whatever you want to call it, yeah.”

“No, thanks.” She shot back instantly and then somehow picked up her book again with an attitude and put an end to her portion of the discussion.

Bucky took a few steps closer to her and then put his hands on his hips. “You know, it might help a bit.”

“Sure,” she snapped back without taking her eyes off of her book.

“You’re not talking to me, kid. You’re not talking to anyone. At least talk to yourself. Get those thoughts out of your head and on paper. Maybe it’ll help you make sense of them.”

Now Y/N was fully glaring at him. “Yeah?” She mocked. “Is that what you do?”

Bucky took the challenge. “Yes, actually. It is.”

“I’m not trying to piece together my memories, Bucky. I know what happened to me. I’m not trying to remember. I’m trying to forget it.” Her voice was cold as ice when she said it.

“I’m only trying to help, Y/N.” He told her softly.

But she wasn’t finished with her anger yet. She stood up and took a few combative steps toward him until she was just a foot away from him.

“What do you want me to write? That the curse I was given almost got me killed once again? That I was tortured?” She was screaming now. “That I live every day fucking terrified of when I get thrown somewhere in time again? That – after everything that’s happened – my boyfriend left me in a foreign country to deal with it all alone?”

He was quiet.

“Is that what you want me to write, Bucky? Yes or no?” She bellowed.

“You’re not alone,” he muttered.

Her face dropped. “What?”

He looked her dead in the eyes. “I said you’re not alone.”

“Whatever,” Y/N rejected before stomping away.

But Bucky couldn’t let her leave in such a condition. She may have yelled it all at him, but it was the first time she had even somewhat opened up. It was the first time she even told anyone that she had been tortured. Obviously it was what every had already assumed. But he took it as a giant step forward, having her finally just admit it.

In a panic, he turned and gently grabbed her forearm.

Y/N ripped it away like he’d burned her and whirled around. “Don’t fucking touch me!” But her eyes weren’t wide with anger. They were wide with pure and acute fear.

Bucky quickly stepped back and raised his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. That was stupid.”

Her fear was quickly replaced with embarrassment. She escaped even quicker now.

This time, Bucky had no choice but to let her.

He rubbed his face and then nearly pulled out his hair.

“Goddammit!” He hissed to himself. 


 What the hell had he been thinking, grabbing her like that?

No one understood what she was going through more than him. When he first got out of cryo and was on the run, the idea of ever letting someone touch him again made him sick to his stomach. No matter how kind someone’s face or intentions were, he no longer trusted that anyone’s touch would do anything other than harm him.

Bucky stomped into his hut and started going through his things.

“Damnit, where’d I put that thing?” He muttered to himself.

Eventually he found it in a drawer: a phone, the burner phone that Steve had given him. It was for emergencies. Through Wakandan tech, Steve would call every once in awhile. But sometimes he was in places where that wasn’t possible. But the burner phone was the exception.

Bucky flipped it open and dialed the only number in the address book.

It only rang twice before he picked up.

“Buck? Is everything OK?” His voice was instantly panicked.

“It’s not me,” Bucky said slow and quiet.

The other end went quiet.

“She’s not OK, Steve. She needs you. You hear me? So, get your ass back here and be there for her. I’m not going to tell you again.”

Then he hung up before Steve could answer.

—————

Despite her anger at Bucky, Y/N still didn’t want to be alone.

Shuri had told Y/N, with utter sincerity, that she always welcome in her lab.

So Y/N found herself making her way there, almost like a zombie of sorts.

Two of the Dora Milaje nodded at her politely as she walked through the doors. It only took a few days for all of the guards to put together that Y/N held almost 0 threat to the royal family or the general public. Soon they grew protective of her, losing all sense of suspicion and mistrust.

Shuri spotted Y/N’s entrance immediately and jumped in excitement. “Oh, great! Your timing could not be better!”

Y/N blinked in surprise and confusion.

“I’ve done quite a few tests with your blood work. However, I’ll learn a lot more once I get the readings from before and after your time-travel. But that will come eventually.”

Y/N shivered at the idea of traveling again. 

She hadn’t since returning to the present after being tortured and held captive by Hydra. The thought of ending up somewhere dangerous again was the reason she couldn’t sleep and her mind was filled with horrors.

Shuri pointed to one of her lab chairs and grabbed another for herself, silently telling Y/N to take a seat.

“We’ve clarified two things,” Shuri started in a serious and authoritative voice, “You only travel to two types of places in the past and future: places of your own life and places of Steve’s life.”

Y/N winced a bit. “Well…that’s not entirely true.”

Shuri tilted her head to the side.

“I went back in time to Bucky – I guess it was twice, depending on how you look at it.”

“Go on,” Shuri encouraged.

“I went back to WWII. Steve was technically there. But he was on a scouting mission. The date was more significant for Bucky than it was for Steve. It was Bucky that found me, not Steve. And then the other time…” Y/N suddenly realized that she would have to talk about Hydra to explain the second time she’d been brought to Bucky.

“When you last traveled,” Shuri finished for her. “You do not have to talk about it if you are not ready.” The princess offered with a kind and gentle smile.

Y/N swallowed awkwardly and realized how dry her mouth and throat had suddenly become. But she just nodded.

“While I have yet to fully analyze and diagnose your abilities, I am starting to understand what motivates where they take you.” Shuri began to explain and pulled up a hologram of a brain. But not just any brain, it was Y/N’s brain. “There are two things I believe are controlling the destinations of your travels: memory and love.”

Shuri pointed to the lit up areas of the brain. “The parts of your brain that control memory are your amygdala, hippocampus, cerebellum and prefrontal cortex. Emotions like fear and love are controlled by the limbic system, which is located in the temporal lobe. The amygdala is also part of the limbic system, which – as I just mentioned – also controls memory.”

Y/N slowly stood up from here seat and got closer to stare at the scan. “So, basically, my amygdala is the things that most controls of my ability?”

Shuri nodded, “That is the simplest way I can put it.”

Y/N crossed her arms and still stared at the scan. “I travel to Steve because I love him so much.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but Shuri was able to make out the words still.

“When it comes to your memories, you cannot think of them as linear. Your powers take memories from your past and future to effect your present. Your memories have no beginning and no end. Your powers are all-knowing. I believe, perhaps, you are in a Predestination Paradox.”

“What does that mean?” Y/N quickly interrupted.

“Well, you are unable to change the past, which would be what the time travel theorists call a Grandfather Paradox. You are simply a witness through both the past and the future, unable to change anything. Therefore, your visits have already been set in time.”

Y/N nodded, somehow following Shuri’s explanation and theories.

“The reason you started traveling to Steve, before you even met him in your present, is because your consciousness already existed in the future. And your love for each other created a chemical effect that influenced your time-traveling destinations…forever.”

The last part was the least surprising of the news. Over the years, Y/N and Steve had put together that their bond in the future had brought them together in both of their pasts. But the way Shuri explained it all made it all seem so much more formidable.

“And what if we stopped?” Y/N’s voice shook as she asked.

Shuri squinted. It was the first time she seemed confused in the conversation. “Stopped what?”

“Stopped loving one another.”

Shuri’s first reaction was to say that she couldn’t imagine a world where Steve and her didn’t love each other. But it was not her place to say such things. Y/N was looking for a scientific hypothesis, not a friend to talk her down.

“I…I do not know, Y/N.” Shuri admitted.

“Can you make it stop?” Y/N shot back. “Can you back the time traveling stop?”

Shuri bowed her head. “I am not sure yet. There is still far too much to learn before I can give you an honest answer, Y/N.”

Meanwhile, Y/N looked more disappointed than anything. But she bowed her head slightly in acceptance before fleeing the lab in a brisk walk.

—————————————

Y/N had made her way to the lake. It was the middle of the night. It would have been a little more dangerous had a guard not been assigned to her. The only time they left her alone was when she was with Bucky. Y/N had found that odd, but didn’t dare think on it too long.

She hugged one knee to her chest, as her other leg dangled over the dock and her foot drew circles in the cold water.

Then she heard footsteps coming up behind her.

They were loud in a way that made her realize the person made sure she heard them, so they wouldn’t scare her.

Bucky.

Only Bucky would do something like that.

Y/N didn’t turn around or acknowledge him. But she felt him sit down beside her. It was a little difficult for him to do, with having one arm and all. He made sure to put a few feet between them. 

“I went to the palace to talk to you. When you weren’t in your room, I thought I might find you here.”

She didn’t say anything in return.

“Y/N, I’m sorry for grabbing you the other day. I should’ve known better. I just panicked when I saw how upset I’d made you and immediately wanted to fix it.”

She stayed silent.

“You won’t talk about it. But I know what happened to you,” Bucky finally confessed. “I know because I remember. When Shuri finally got rid of my brainwashing, memories just started flooding back. And when I saw you for the first time here, it triggered everything. I saw your injuries and – I was there.”

Y/N’s eyes finally snapped to him. His ice-blue eyes were already waiting to meet her gaze. 

Her breathing became heavier.

“I’m not telling you this so I can pretend to know what you’re going through.” His look stayed so gentle and sincere. “I’m telling you because I want you to know that even if you never want to talk about what happened, you don’t have to do this by yourself. You don’t have to have to keep it a secret because you’re scared of how people will react.”

Y/N’s eyes swelled with tears that she managed to blink away.

A silence settled between them. All they could hear were the crickets and other nocturnal creatures. The waves of the lake would make a heavier sound against the pebbly beach every so often.

Finally, Y/N took in a shaky breath. Her gaze looked over the water now. “When I first saw you here–” She shook her head. “I can’t explain it, but I instantly got this odd sense of comfort. It made me realize that I wasn’t alone in what I went through. Because, even if it wasn’t really you, you were there with me.”

She looked at him. “Do you remember what you did?”

Bucky swallowed. He couldn’t find the words.

“You tried to help me,” Y/N muttered. “You protected me.”

He shook his head. “And look what a shit job I did at it.”

“That’s not true,” Y/N urged.

“If I had been stronger, I could’ve stopped it all. I could’ve kept you safe.”

“Bucky, you were brainwashed. The fact that you were even able to break through it at all and do what you had is remarkable.”

He was starting to get worked up now. “If Steve knew I was there and did nothing…”

“But you did do something!” Y/N argued.

Suddenly they were interrupted by Y/N’s guard walking to them. “I have a message from His Majesty.” Then the guard tapped the Kimoyo Beads around his wrist and a hologram of T’Challa appeared.

“Sergeant Barnes, Y/N,” he greeted politely, as if it wasn’t the middle of the night. “I must request that you both come back to the palace immediately.”

“Is something wrong?” Y/N asked quickly.

“No, but your presence is required.” Then he hung up, leaving no room for more questions or refusals.

Y/N shared a worried look with Bucky. But he didn’t seem to feel the same concern.

“Come on,” Bucky said as he carefully maneuvered himself back onto his feet. It should’ve been more awkward without a second limb. But even with one arm, Bucky was disturbingly graceful.

He held out his hand, offering to help Y/N up.

She took it without really thinking, trying to figure out what could possibly be waiting for them at the royal palace.

The walk was filled with silence.

Little did Y/N know that Bucky was pretty sure what – or rather, who – would be waiting for them with King T’Challa.

The guard led them to the landing dock without forewarning them. They just followed mindlessly.

Someone with dirty blonde and shaggy hair was talking to T’Challa, with his back to them.

Y/N squinted.

T’Challa meeting her gaze made the stranger’s back tense and stop talking.

He turned around and Y/N stopped in her tracks.

Steve looked like a different person. For the first time since Y/N knew him, he had a beard. His hair was longer than she’d ever seen it. Somehow he looked bigger, but she doubted that was a actual possibility.

While Y/N’s eyes widened in shock and – was it fear? – Steve looked like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. 

Then his eyes shifted between her and Bucky. He hadn’t expected his best friend to be at Y/N’s side when he saw her again.

Without even realizing what she was doing, Y/N took a quick and big step backward. It caused her to run into Bucky’s chest.

“It’s OK, kid.” Bucky whispered to her reassuringly.

The interaction didn’t go amiss by Steve.

Y/N was breathing heavily, convinced she was about to have a panic attack at any moment. The shock of it all was doing nothing for her sleep deprivation. Her emotions were all over the place. She was in no state to be able to handle this.

“Figured you’d be sleeping by the time I got here,” Steve finally broke the silence.

Of all the first things to say to Y/N, Steve knew that shouldn’t been it. But he lost all composure.

Y/N stared at him for a moment, still trying to process if she was starting to imagine things. It wasn’t uncommon for people with insomnia.

But then something snapped within her.

“So you were planning on leaving before I could see you,” she accused.

Steve blinked, surprised by the animosity of both her words and tone.

But before anyone else could say anything, Y/N turned on her heels and fled.

“Y/N, wait!” Bucky called after her, taking a step in her direction.

But he had learned his lesson and let her run.

T’Chall cleared his throat. “I will…let you speak amongst yourselves.” Then he looked at Steve. “I have prepared a room for you, Captain. The guard will show you to it when you are ready. Goodnight.”

Steve gave a nod in thanks, and he and Bucky watched the King leave them.

“She hates me,” Steve whispered the moment they were alone.

----------------------------

Chapter 17

So, I’ve had a shit couple of days. I also haven’t been inspired or motivated to write. I’m honestly shocked I was even able to write this chapter in a somewhat timely matter. It would make me very happy if you guys commented or just shared your thoughts and reactions. :) Thanks

[nitewrighter]

Do you think Hanzo ever tried to talk to Widow about her... Condition? And about Gerard? Does Widow ever talk to Hanzo about his 'I-killed-my-bro-and-can-never-forgive-myself' state of mind? Would love to see what you think about that

This turned into a fic-ish thing referring back to this ask

---

This mission was her last chance.

If Hanzo wasn’t going to be Talon’s key to acquiring the Shimada clan, then that loose end needed to be cut if they were going to move forward in their dealings.

And Talon sent her in here like an indifferent older sibling handing off a worn down toy rather than be the one to break it.

She convinces herself she’s still the assassin they made her to be (they designed her to do that.) She ignores the random high pitched ringing in her ears, her general lack of appetite somehow mutating into full-blown nausea,  the hesitation and shake to her muscles. Stupider. Clumsier. It takes seconds longer than it should to assemble her rifle. The infrasight on her visor helps her track him down, establish multiple vantage points. He’s just making his way through the underbrush, unawares he’s flying into her web like so many other victims. She could see the way he carries himself through her scope, sure-footed, practiced, a full-body-awareness she knows well, but coupled with a melancholy that seems to heave its weight onto every movement. She almost feels charitable fixing her sights on him. Don’t worry, Scion, it will be over before you even know what’s happened.

It should have been one shot. Was it her vision doubling? Was it the shake of her arms? Why did the gun feel so much heavier than normal? Did she have him in her crosshairs or did she just convince herself of that? It doesn’t matter. The wood on a tree trunk next to his head splinters with her shot and his head immediately jerks in her direction.

The mission just got a lot longer. A lot messier. He draws a bow off of his back and dodges into some bushes.

She would be fine with this. She would be patient, as she has been patient on so many missions before, but there is darkening at the periphery of her sight. She thinks of wood rotting in spring thaws. Stone cracking as water freezes and unfreezes in its fissures, but this is the mind blurring, more time passing than it should, and she tries to re-focus on the mission. An arrow whistles through the thick jungle air and she’s forced to grapple to a new perch. The muscle memory alone is enough to get her through it, but she’s unsure how much she can trust her automatic reactions. 

They hunt each other for hours. It’s more silent, more tedious than anyone would expect. To fire is to give away one’s position, so there’s long stretches of time (they are long stretches of time, aren’t they?) that are filled with only the desperate scanning of dark jungle shrubbery while trying to make one as small and unseen a target as possible. But then, all the problems that had brought her to this point start bubbling up again. Vision blurring, time stretching and contracting, her heart straining against everything Talon had done to it. Talon had been putting her in freezing cold suspended animation between missions to try and slow the effects of their own experiments on her, but here in the heat of the jungle, all those efforts seem to melt. She didn’t feel the cold, she always said, but she can feel herself coming apart here. There’s too much shake in the barrel. She keeps her focus on him throughout all of it. She’s on a well-camouflaged platform up in the trees when his arrow grazes her cheek and that flare of adrenaline throughout her whole system burns her out and her vision goes black.

She’s unsure how much time has passed. It had to be only a few minutes--seconds, even, where she’s scrambling out of the darkness, trying to claw her way back to consciousness.

The humidity of the jungle lingers like a fever sweat on her cold skin. She feels his callused knuckles on the inside of her cheek and something hard and sharp digging into her left molar pulling her back into consciousness. She grunts a little as she feels something come loose from her tooth and the hands still, only momentarily, before quickly withdrawing from her mouth. Her eyes blearily open long enough to see his moonlit silhouette examining the cyanide capsule Talon stored in her tooth. His mouth is tight and tugged down at the corners as he examines the option he has just taken from her. He looks so tired. She wonders briefly if he’ll just pop it into his mouth right there. His nostrils flare with a resigned exhale as he flicks the cyanide capsule off into the darkness of the jungle’s shrubbery.

“It’s not that easy,” he says quietly before darkness sweeps over her again.

---

She wakes up under bright fluorescents and a soft whirring fan. There’s an industrial air conditioner humming somewhere, but the building must have poor circulation because the fan is only pushing the stuffy air of the room back down on her. She tongues the gap in her molar, and then realizes her head feels lighter. Her hair is down and spilling out over the sides of her little clinic cot. Her visor--her hand clumsily pulls up to feel for her visor. No--no gun--the rifle is gone. Something itches on her skin. She glances down to see a tacky Numbani Heritage Museum tee shirt hastily yanked over her jumpsuit. Her eyes flick up to the only other human figure in the room. He’s clearly feverishly scrubbed off the mud of the jungle in the bathroom, but the scent of sweat and blood and rotting earth still sticks to him.

“What...?” she starts woozily.

“You’re in a clinic in Nonthaburi,” he says, pushing up from his chair, “They managed to provide enough biotics to stop your organs from shutting down, I grabbed what extras I could, but I would say we have 15 more minutes until law enforcement comes here.”

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“I don’t know yet,” he says, looking out the window. 

“...you took my capsule,” her voice drops to a hiss.

“We both still have things we need to answer for,” he says. He opens the window, “You’re in no condition to fight. Our only option is to keep moving.”

“Talon will come for me,” she says, her eyes narrowing.

“Then by all means,” he says, nimbly slipping out the window.

She pushes off the cot and stumbles as her boots hit the floor. Stupid, sluggish, weak. She’s the opposite of everything she should be right now. She can’t go back while he’s still alive. She sways and it takes an embarrassing amount of focus just to stay upright. She stumbles toward the window. A hand extends to her through the window frame and her face twists up in disgust. He’s waiting for her, out on the fire escape.

“I don’t need your help,” she says, swatting the hand aside. The hand withdraws back out and she braces her own hands on the window frame.

She falls. Her shoulder flares with pain and the fire escape rattles beneath her, enough to wake the whole town. She glances up and there’s his hand again. A snarl falls out of her as she grips it. She wants it to hurt, but he doesn’t react at the tightness of her grip.

“I am going to kill you,” she says as he hauls her up into a fireman carry and descends the fire escape. He doesn’t respond to that.

---

“I am going to kill you!” she has to raise her voice over the buzzing motor of the hovercycle he hot-wired.

He doesn’t respond to that. Apparently focusing on quickly weaving through traffic.

----

“I’m going to kill you,” she says as they both deftly pick the security tags off of new clothes in a store with Lúcio’s latest album blasting over the speakers. Lights bloom in the corners of her vision. It’s been 4 days. He’s stolen her another batch of biotics to keep her going.

“Mm-hm,” he says before pulling a two pairs of pants off the rack, “Black or gray?”

“...Black,” she says.

----

“I am---urgh-- going to kill you,” she says mid-gag as he holds her hair while she grips the toilet seat before she throws up again. It’s been 6 days. The bile feels hot in her throat. She can’t remember the last time something felt warm inside her. 

“Just breathe,” his voice is gentle.

“You’re deluding yourself doing this,” fury is leaking into her voice, maybe the bile is thawing it out from all the mood-suppressors Talon put her on, “You should have killed me. There’s nothing to save. You’re a killer and I’m a killer and that’s the only way this--” The next stream of vomit cuts off her words.

“I know,” he says, keeping a steady hand on her back as it convulses with her gags.

---

“I’m g-going to k-kill you,” her teeth are chattering as he pulls his jacket around her. She’s lost track of how many days its been. There are no cryo-sleeps to keep her mind sharp. Everything’s bleeding into everything else.

“This isn’t working,” he says, “You need a doctor who can figure out what’s going wrong.”

“Just s-s-steal me more biotics!” she snaps. His jacket stinks of him. She pulls it tight until her knuckles whiten.

“...so you can kill me?” he arches an eyebrow.

They stare at each other for a beat.

“Yes,” she says stiffly.

“We need help,” he moves to put a hand on her shoulder but she flinches back and lightheadedness bubbles up from the base of her skull with the suddenness of her own movement. She shrinks into his jacket and his hand is still extended toward her. “Please.”

“Why are you doing this?” 

“I do what I must.”

“T-that’s not an answer.”

“I’ve killed every assassin that’s come for me,” his voice lowers slightly, “I... cannot remember the last time I did something that felt like a choice and not a reflex. But this is a choice.”

“...the first assassin you choose to spare, and it’s the h-hardest assassin to keep alive,” her eyebrow arches with amusement even as shudders wrack her body, “You have shit luck.”

“...I really do,” he agrees, “You have a choice here, too,” he keeps that hand extended toward her but hesitates, knowing she might flinch back again. 

She looks down at his hand.

----

“I’m going to kill you,” her voice is quiet from the watchpoint infirmary bed. He glances up at her, half-obscured by the multiple IV’s leading into her arm. He’s been missing half the day, his presence only confirmed by the sounds of arguments outside the little infirmary room. He’s scrubbed the stink off of himself and wearing their odd gray and orange training clothes

“Mm,” he grunts in mild acknowledgment while frowning over the tablet one of them gave him.

“I am,” she says, turning over in the infirmary bed at him, “Talon had to have put a failsafe in. Something that’s going to make me scorch the earth before they lose me.”

“They’ve already lost you,” he says.

“You brought me to the place where I can do the most damage,” she says, turning on her back and looking up at the ceiling, “Talon had to have planned this.”

“I’m sure they meticulously planned your violently vomiting all over a Bangkok train station platform,” he replies. There’s a new exhaustion on him, his body accepting the apparent safety of his environment, but his mind pushed to its brink just by being here, “And they were definitely counting on me being a warm and charitable soul.”

A chuckle falls out of her at the idea, but it melts away as quick as the fog of breath on glass. “I’m not...meant to...have...” she doesn’t know how to finish the sentence but exhaustion is creeping back over her. Her eyelids feel heavy. She feels his callused thumb gently tuck her hair back from her temple.

“I don’t think I am, either,” he says quietly, retaking his seat.

“Two broken weapons....” her voice is fading.

“Just rest,” he says but sleep snuffs out his voice as she curls up in the infirmary bed.

[stemcello20]

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is There any Type Of Downtime?

It is a naturally taking place sugar that exists in nearly all living organisms. Its essential duty is to absorb water as well as transports nutrients to the skin making sure that the structure and also volume is maintained. The charm of this product is that the effects are visible immediately after the treatment. Because of this, the majority of our clients will certainly return for a top up every 6-12 months approximately. We have many different therapies and procedure that we can utilize to boost your skin, and offer an extra Visual look. We can evaluate the degree of skin ageing and also photo-damage your skin has experience, and start a SkinCare routine to correct the damages. We recommend a high SPF for day-to-day usage, and also there are preferred products we can recommend to you.

As the ultrasound examination rises are really concentrated throughout the treatment places, you will absolutely experience very tiny quantities of electrical energy sent with to exact midsts underneath the skin layer. The therapy operates better on skin layer of light to mild indifference where it is really beginning to truly feel as well as additionally appear a lot less firm along with get older.

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Around 50 % of females will experience unblemished looseness due to Menopause. The vaginal canal wall includes collagen fibres, these in time normally stretch. As a result, the vagina wall surface area starts to loosen up and lose its elasticity. This can result in a decrease in satisfaction of sexual relations. Vaginal Canal Tightening Up with FemiWand ® is a non-invasive, non-surgical treatment developed to tighten vaginal canal tissues without surgical procedure or anaesthetic.

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A 2017 research study requiring 32 folks offered that HIFU Buckinghamshire substantially boosted skin layer flexibility of the jowls, lower abdominal locations, along with upper legs after 12 full weeks. HIFU isn't very advised for individuals along with contaminations as well as likewise available skin layer sores at the planned area, extreme or perhaps cystic acne, and additionally steel implants in the treatment area.

Is cryotherapy better than ice bath?

Cryotherapy gets down to -184-degrees Fahrenheit, while an ice bath doesn't make it below 50-degrees unless you were to sit in it for close to 30 minutes! 3. Cryotherapy uses dry cold to reduce the skin's temperature while an ice bath uses wet cold which can cause muscle tissue to congeal making them pretty immobile.

Hifu Face and Also Neck Lift

Elder individuals in addition to added comprehensive aging, extreme skin layer indifference, and even quite droopy skin layer on the back might not be excellent potential customers as well as also might need to have surgery. Individuals along with photodamaged skin layer or perhaps a greater degree of loosened skin layer may require a number of procedures just before observing outcome. The surge in collagen results in tighter, more powerful skin layer in addition to far less lines. As soon as the cells in the targeted region satisfy a details temp, they experience cell harm. While this may appear disadvantageous, the injury really promotes the tissues to produce a lot more collagen-- a healthy and balanced protein that supplies construct to the skin layer. HIFU utilizes centered ultrasound exam power to target the levels of skin layer simply listed below the area.

It develops focused thermal house heating to the internal layers of genital area cells when this is used. Simply lately, https://ascot.lipofreeze2u.co.uk/ has in fact been expertly utilized for cosmetic therapies, such as skin laxity. As we age, collagen fibers within the genital canal beginning to decrease rigidity.

If your flow of urine is weak or slow-moving after your catheter is obtained, speak with your doctor or registered nurse.

Much less of the healthy and balanced tissue is harmed during focal HIFU than whole-prostate HIFU so some specialists think it may cause less side effects than whole-prostate HIFU.

You may see some blood in your pee while the catheter is in area.

If you are worried or see signs of an infection, speak with your medical professional or registered nurse immediately.

You must have the ability to go home on the exact same day as your treatment.

You could also see some little pieces of prostate cells in your pee for six to 8 weeks after HIFU.

You may have discomfort in the location in between your testicles and also back flow, yet you'll be provided pain-relieving drugs to take in your home.

Your physician or nurse will certainly check that you have actually recuperated from the anaesthetic and are in shape to go home.

Avoid visit homepage or workout for concerning 2 weeks and also vaginal sexual intercourse for about 4 weeks. • Loss of elasticity in the Vagina can lead to vaginal infections. • The Persistent impulse to urinate is also an impact of the loss of genital helping to loosen. After childbirth, the vaginal canal walls end up being overstretched, minimized sensitivity as well as rigidity. The ageing procedure causes a natural collections breakdown leaving the genital muscles relaxed, adding to helping to loosen of the Vagina.

So What functions Better, Cellulite Creams Or Treatments?

CryoPen ™ Buckinghamshire treatment fasts, efficient, as well as risk-free. CryoPen ™ utilizes freezing temperature levels, to securely eliminate, benign skin blemishes such as verrucae, scars, verrucas, cherry angiomas, skin tags, and also milia. The cryopen is created to reduce any damage to bordering skin cells to the skin. imperfection. The cryopen utilizes its freezing modern technology to remove skin imperfections in mins. The Cryopen does not make use of unsafe gases, liquid or anaesthetics. It has an one-of-a-kind innovative modern technology using freezing temperatures to get rid of skin imperfections.

However the extra fat is removed from the location, the skin could not tighten up as wished. Consult along with your medical professional about whether or not Lipo Sculpt Buckinghamshire can aid you to attain your supreme ambitions. Additionally, individuals with ageing skin might see minimized benefits in some components, as aging skin loses its elasticity. Possible clients that have considerable excess weight and also intend to reduce their loosened skin might not see the results they desire from Lipo Sculpt Buckinghamshire. The device is for use on excess fat pockets, not cellulite or skin toning as it handles surface fat.

Can I shower after cryotherapy?

No, you don't. This procedure is absolutely dry and does not make your skin wet.

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Buttocks along with the outer rear of your upper legs, the "saddlebags" that several women desire to alter, must be examined on a certain individual by person basis. Countless clients can testify our solution as well as therapies are unrivaled and this is why clients come back to us over and over again.

Is Cryotherapy the same as coolsculpting?

Like Coolsculpting, Cryo T-Shock uses very cold temperatures to kill adipose (fat) cells. But Cryo T-Shock takes it a step further. While Coolsculpting can indeed kill body fat cells, it is really only effective for larger body areas such as the abdomen, back, and legs.

exists any Type Of Downtime?

You may observe a quick tightening up outcome after therapy, along with the total training along with firming happening over around 3 months as the skin layer's all-natural bovine collagen develops. The increased collagen will most definitely in cause tightening up of the skin layer decreasing the signs old via strengthening skin tone and likewise flexibility. During the treatment ultrasound exam thermic power is in fact utilized to induce deep blue sea finishes of the skin layer as well as also make certain the organic production of bovine collagen.

How much does cryotherapy for warts cost?

Comparison of Treatments for Genital WartsTreatmentCost per successful treatment course 10Clearance rate (%) 8,11CryotherapySimple warts: $268 Extensive warts: $41560 to 90Imiquimod (Aldara)Simple warts: $607 Extensive warts: $64930 to 50Interferon (intralesional)Simple warts: $2,744 Extensive warts: $5,80320 to 606 more rows•15 Dec 2004

Sterile slim needles with absorbable, fine barbed thread dipped in stem cell fluid are put under the skin of the location to be dealt with. They are taken out together leaving the string inside the skin Collagen is boosted when the needles are taken out and this boosts skin tone. A threadlift, or stitch lift, treatment is an anti-aging procedure where special absorbable as well as undetectable threads are made use of to boost the functions of the face and also hold the skin and face cells in position. The threadlift procedure is lengthy lasting compared to anti-aging injectables. The procedure increases sagging eyebrows, sunken cheeks and also drooping dewlaps and necks.

The HIFU revamp is actually currently covering the expenses as one of the most extremely discreet as well as additionally valuable new look in the past. It is really for that reason fast that you can conveniently receive one throughout a lunch time rest. HIFU targets the specific very same layer of skin layer attended to in cosmetic surgery, travelling through the framework degree of your skin layer.

What do you do after Cryoskin?

To get the best results following a Cryoskin session, you should not eat sugar 2 hours before and 2 hours after the session. The reason is sugar is a strong power source for fat cells. It's factual, all nutritionists would attest that to succeed a diet slimming, sugar is the first thing to stop.

The ultrasound electrical power causes the cells to heat up swiftly. Normally, the strategy runs most successfully on people a lot older than 30 along with mild-to-moderate skin. A cooling head is positioned in a location any place you intend to eliminate the flabby fat. The gadget delicately targets additional fat cells under your skin and also crystallise them. Additionally, this process is non-surgical which symbolizes that no cuts are required.

Aircast Cryo Cuff cooler.

My skin really felt impressive after both therapies as well as looked greatSharon, UK, I have had a Superhigh Frequency Facial as well as an Optiphi Peel. The beauty parlor is so soothing and the staff are really specialist and valuable.

Since excess fat cells are far more susceptible to cold temperature levels than skin cells, the process generates apoptosis and gradually removes body fat over a range of weeks. Our new therapy can develop excess weight reduction in individuals that targets areas making use of cold to slowly kill and eliminate fat over a 6 to 12 week duration. The fat cells that were as soon as "sucked out", just reproduce and sometimes come back with also uglier issues. Allow's say you are having problem moving fat from your tummy or thighs with your regular workouts. We target this area of the body's fat cells by placing the Lipo Sculpt maker at that target location for approximately 1 hr throughout which time the fat cells begin to die.

The HIFU therapy works through penetrating the skin layer together with ultrasound evaluation power to advertise bovine collagen manufacturing in deep blue sea face as well as subdermal quantities, bring about mini accident to that cells. In addition called 'Ultrasound Facelift', 'Ultherapy' and even '3D SkinMed', HIFU facials Buckinghamshire have actually developed into among the best well-known in addition to good training treatments for the skin as well as also back. Post-treatment, you'll discover an obvious improvement in general face contouring, alright lines, along with folds. Great deals of individuals discover the end outcomes will absolutely last for around a year, nonetheless you can easily possess finest up treatments ought to you need all of them.

As we grow our skin layer drops its very own suppleness in addition to form, much like our recommended clothing. This alteration starts in the essential coverings which aid our skin layer-- which is in fact just how skin layer sagging as well as likewise wrinkles develop.

[sometimesrosy]

you think there is a huge probability or chance that we see bellarke first kiss and declaration of love this season? and if season seven is really gonna be the last one jason can put them in a established relationship and being endgame without erasing that.

yeah that’s what i think.

i know i said s5, but after the season I did some re-evaluation of my s5 theories and noted that they weren’t actually debunked. they followed my speculations for bellarke development but much, much more slowly. And when I looked at the various character arcs, i realized that only some of them had been completed, while others had been left open and hanging and still others had not even started, which led me to the conclusion that they slowed down narrative that dealt with interpersonal relationships and split it into (at least) 2 seasons. 

Putting them in cryo made no time pass, even though 125 years passed, and they were clear about how when they woke up all the betrayals and relationships and repercussions would still in play. And you can SEE it already, in the trailer. 

I have always had a hard time finding the timing of the character arcs, because they don’t follow the season long narrative arcs. Because it is not a traditional tv show structure. It’s long form storytelling and I was not sure how long his vision went. 

BUT because we’ve started some stories, finished some, and not started others, I can see the pacing that he’s working on for these ACTIVE narrative arcs.

Bellarke romantic storyline started, explicitly, in season 5, and was left hanging with one secret revealed (2199 calls) and one secret still unrevealed (octavia poisoned for clarke.) The love triangle is CANON and unresolved. Echo’s character arc has not yet begun. Bellamy’s hero’s journey has been met. Clarke’s has not. Clarke’s reunion with Murphy and Raven has not happened yet. Memori has wrapped up more or less, Marper is fulfilled happy ending, Kabby is paused in the middle, the Blakes are a BIG story stopped in the middle and may take three seasons to resolve.

Bellarke romance? I see it as 2 or 3 seasons depending on your definition. The first season (5) was Bellarke reunion, Clarke back from the dead, her fantasy boyfriend who ended up being real and too much for her to handle, and breaking her heart, and so she betrayed him, then repented and let him go so he could live and be victorious. Bellamy discovering Clarke was alive, dealing with his panic/trauma from losing Clarke again and again (particularly with leaving Raven behind and sending Echo off and poisoning Octavia to save her,) confronting his romantic feelings for Clarke in the face of Echo and also Clarke’s abandonment (again) of him. And his discovery of the 2199 calls which told him that Clarke did indeed care for him and changed everything about how he dealt with her. Bellarke are REUNITED, once again TOGETHER, soulmates where they are supposed to be. They are each in love with the other but withholding their feelings for the other because they are not sure and also b/e is an obstacle. s5 was their reunion and facing the effects of 6 years apart. And the reunion was resolved, but it opened the door into the next phase of Bellarke which is:

Bellarke romantic feelings and expression thereof. We KNOW already that they are going to address the 2199 calls. We know already that B/E exists still in ep1. I expect feelings to be revealed and to change how they behave with each other. How that will affect b/e or c/b/e is still to be seen, but according to the character of Clarke, Bellamy and Echo separately, it will not be ignored and B/E will end. As early as ep3 (that’s a guess and a possibility not an absolute. just a feeling. beginning of the end for b/e.) I think we’ll start getting that romantic tension AND sexual tension. They are back together, but they CAN’T be TOGETHER TOGETHER, so that means the feelings and desires must be held back. I don’t know at what point the kisses, confessions and sex will happen, but I expect them to come in stages, just the way the reunion did. With some backsliding to make them uncertain and put the end in doubt (conflict adds to tension.) I expect that there will be a bellarke separation and Bellamy, in particular, won’t have faith in her feelings for him, because he’s never believed in that. I expect that we’ll see a parallel to “it’s worth the risk,” when she sent him into the mountain and he thought it was because she didn’t care for him after all, but it was actually canon confirmation that she thought her feelings for him (love) were a weakness. “I was being weak.” Love is a weakness. It occurs to me that that is the scene where the Bellarke romance was broken. Just like all the traumas, we’re revisiting them to resolve and fix them. And create a better world. Clarke did not choose Bellamy in the “it’s worth the risk,” scene, walking away from Camp Jaha, In Polis with Lxa AND Hakeldama. I expect to see Clarke CHOOSING Bellamy in ep11 I think. Where she makes clear to him that he is her choice, and they resolve all those abandonment issues, which leaves them TOGETHER, in all ways, including romantic and probably sexual, and possibly newly established and public as a relationship, so that they can face their final battle together, strong.

Last season I couldn’t place the romantic development with the story lines of other characters or other narrative threads, this season, I can see the storylines coming up because they are either unfinished from last season, or there are CLEAR parallels to previous traumas, like MW=Sanctum. Or princess mechanic=c/f/r=c/b/e.  The more separate storylines that can connect back to the romance, the more likely it is that the romance is going full main plot. And canon. There are A LOT of narrative threads connecting back to bellarke this upcoming season. It is not just about their feelings anymore. 

As for s7? Yeah there’s no room for established Bellarke in season 6. But established Bellarke in season 7 would allow for a culmination of the post apocalyptic REBIRTH of the world. Clarke and Bellamy are the mother and father. In canon. Mama Bear and Captain Daddy. space daddy. best daddy in the universe whatever. Y’all know it’s Captain Daddy. In trigedasleng, that has a phrase. Nomon and Nontu. Mother and father, number one and number two, a mated leadership pair in charge of a village. That’s bellarke. There is no reason for that phrase to be in the lexicon because it has NEVER been used in canon, but it’s been there since season 3 when I was looking for a trigedasleng name to call Bellarke in one of my fics, and I found that one and I was like, well heck, that sounds like it was made for them. And here they are now, named mom and dad and heading into marriage/paired leadership. AS we also head into the resolution for s1 declarations of purpose like “life should be about more than just survival,” and “i’m trying to make sure humanity deserves to survive.” AKA Monty’s charge to Bellarke. Be the good guys. Live a good life. 

The story sounds like it’s wrapping up and part of the wrap up is to bring Bellarke together as a mated pair so they can help create a new society and usher in the rebirth of humanity. Bellarke established couple. Because that will reach the culmination of what Bellarke has been heading for, every season getting deeper.

So.

s5: Bellarke reunion.

s6: Bellarke romance.

s7: Bellarke marriage. (whether that means an actual marriage or symbolic idk.)

[sarissophori]

Forebode, Chapter 6

Hindel and Barrens ran to the excursion room, donning their environment suits and helmets. On impulse, Barrens grabbed his shock rifle and slung it over his shoulder.

       “Mind telling me what’s going on, captain?”

       Hindel synched her helmet in place, locking it for a seal.

       “The Wanderer crew” she breathed. “It infected them, made them kill each other.”

       She turned to Barrens. “It turned them into those things on the moon, and the same thing’s going to happen to us if we don’t space Talgold!”

       His eyes went wide. “And how the hell do you know that?”

       “Just trust me, and follow me!”

       Suited up, they took the lift down to the hangar. Barrens unlatched a service dolly from the wall and rolled it over.

       “Which room?” Hindel said.

       “First on the right.”

       She went to the door and hit the release, opening it with a hiss. Hindel gasped. There was no body inside. The cadaver bag was shredded to pieces, filled with shallow pools of blood and bits of flesh. Wet streaks were on the floor and walls, a particularly long, dark streak under a vent port with its cover torn away. A mangled environment suit lay discarded nearby.

       “Oh God no…”

       “Christ” Barrens said. “We better warn the crew.”

 Hindel alerted her flight officers by her personal com, who then sounded the alarm throughout the ship. Ensign Komev’s voice carried on all decks: “Attention all hands, attention all hands, class-three quarantine procedures are in effect. All crew except search and rescue are to report to their quarters immediately until quarantine is lifted. Search and rescue are to suit up and report with weapons to the hangar; repeat, search and rescue to the hangar.”

       Davis, Duvin and Farzen suited up, armed themselves without knowing why, and met Barrens by the open pressure door, seeing for themselves the mess left behind, grimacing.

       “Holy fuck” Duvin said.

       “What the hell happened here, sarge?” Farzen said. “Where’s the body?”

       “Through the vent” Barrens said.

       “I thought he was supposed to be dead” Davis said.

       “He was” Barrens said. “For a while.”

       “What do you mean ‘a while’?” Davis said. “What the hell’s going on here, sir?”

       Barrens took in a breath and sighed. “We encountered something on the surface; mutants, monsters, whatever they are. The growth we found in the wreck? The captain thinks it infected the Wanderer crew and turned them into what Talgold probably is now. If you can breathe it in or have to come in contact with it, we don’t know; that’s why everyone’s in quarantine and we’re in suits. Like it or not, it’s our job to take care of it.”

       “Of what?” Farzen said.

       Barrens paused, staring off for a brief moment before turning to his team.

       “A lot of blood, a lot of gore. I couldn’t explain’em to you if I tried, except that they’re as though as they are ugly, and they scream.”

       His men looked confused, and not really reassured. Barrens set his shock rifle to its maximum setting, implying for them to do the same.

       “I’m not gonna lie, this could become a shit show real fast, but if we can fry this son of a bitch or pin him down somewhere, there’s a chance we can kill it with no casualties.”

       “What’s the plan, sir?” Farzen said.

       Barrens glanced over the room. “Well, he’s using the ducts. If we can get the bridge to seal off the junctions after we clear them, we might be able to corner it, or funnel it towards the airlock. Good enough?”

       “Yes sir” Davis said. The rest muttered approval.

       He contacted the bridge.

       “Barrens to Captain Hindel: we’re going to search the vents, starting in the hangar and working up the decks. We need you to manually close off all junctions behind us as we go, and steer it towards the airlock.”

       “Will do” Hindel said. “Keep in touch, sergeant.”

       “Aye ma’am, Barrens out.”

       He turned to his team. “Ready?”

       They nodded, and began their methodical clearing of the hangar vents; two teams on either side of a room or hallway, one opening the vent and the other peering inside, panning their light and rifle, going slow. From the main hangar bay doors to the pressure rooms behind, they found nothing beyond Talgold’s initial bloody mess.

       “Junctions A-1 through A-10 clear” Barrens said. “Hangar bay swept.”

       “Roger that” Hindel said. “Closing off.”

       A dull locking thud echoed from the walls. The SAR team went up to C-deck, Barrens manually locking the lift in place under their feet as they stepped off. They spread out at the level’s terminus and slowly combed their way down, tense but prepared, clearing and sealing the galley, the recreation room, utilities, lavatories, showers and cryo-chamber. Again, no contact.

       “This bastard’s really good at hiding” Duvin said.

       “You’d think with all that blood, he’d leave some kind of trail” Farzen muttered.

       “Barrens to bridge, are you picking up any blockages anywhere in the ship?”

       “Negative” Tajmaran said. “Maybe he’s not in the ducts?”

       “I think we would’ve found him by now if he wasn’t” Barrens said. “Either that, or he’s up in A-deck with you guys.”

       There was a pause on the line.

       “I’ll keep scanning, and let you know if I find something” Tajmaran said. “Bridge out.”

       “I feel safer already” Davis said.

       With C-deck locked, the team went up and searched through B-deck, sweeping the ladder wells and the compartments around the elevators, checking every corner and compartment.

        “Rooms and vents around B-terminus cleared” Barrens said.

       “Closing off” Hindel said.

       “Primary and secondary cargo next” he said to his team.

       “One bay at a time, no splitting up.”

       Cautiously, quietly, they paced the curve of the main cargo wing. It was spacious by design, though the Wayfarer’s days of hauling freight were well behind her. Still, its importance meant that it had been built with secondary vent covers in case of sudden vacuum or pressure loss, adding an extra little layer of tension for the SAR team as they opened the first cover, only to have another to clear; but still, no Talgold. Even so, their readouts were steadily rising the further they went without finding him.

       “Primary cargo cleared” Barrens said.

       “Closing off” Hindel said.

       “Moving on to secondary” he rasped, motioning his men to move forward.

       The secondary cargo bay, tucked behind the primary one, was basically a compartmented room for smaller hauls, humming with vibrations from the nearby engine block. The emptiness amplified it into an ominous drone. Multi-tier racks and shelves cast shadows that hid the walls and corners, making their sweeps slower, more cautious.

       “How many hiding places does this ship possibly have?” Davis said.

       “Too many” Duvin said. “If the threat of infection’s so damn high, why don’t we just leave it and get in the escape pods?”

       “If you want to wait the year or so I’d take for a rescue ship to show up cramped up in one of those with no food or air, be my guest” Barrens said.

 As Barrens and his team swept their way through the ship, the rest of the crew sat waiting in their B-deck compartments, their gazes focused on the door or off to some far point. No one spoke at first beyond soft murmurings, but as time and nerves wore on, and no updates came from the bridge, Mason exhaled.

       “I hate this; sitting around, doing nothing, not knowing what’s going on.”

       “So does everyone else” Ausmith said. “I’m sure the captain will inform us of what’s happening when we need to be, or when our quarantine’s been lifted.”

       “Easy for you to say” Mason said. “You already have some idea of what this is all about, being the shuttle pilot.”

       He looked over to Han and Varrez. His face was drawn, and he raised his voice.

       “You do too, don’t you? What’s the captain so afraid of?”

       “That’s enough, Mason” Hornens said. “Don’t start this.”

       “Start what?” Mason said. “Look, I’m not trying to start anything, I just think it’s time we were told what’s going on. Am I the only one?”

       “No, you’re not” Ausmith said. “But the rest of us don’t know much more than you do. We may as well ask you what engineering got from the Wanderer’s flight recorder?”

       Mason shrugged. “Can’t say. Hindel ordered it sent directly to her as soon as we decoded it –but that’s what I mean; there’s way too much secrecy over what’s been going on lately.”

       Mason looked again to Han and Varrez.

       “What happened down there? How did Talgold die?”

       Varrez said nothing. She didn’t even look at him.

       “The captain insisted we keep it confidential” Han said.

       “Sure she did, sure” Mason said, getting up from his bunk, raising his voice again.

       “Why wouldn’t it be? Why not keep us in quarantine the whole way home, if that’s what’ll take? All I want is a few little answers, is that so much to ask?”

       “Calm down, Mason” Hornens said.

       “I’m not gonna calm down!” Mason said. “This is bullshit, and you know it!”

       There was a loud thump over Mason’s head, ending his ranting. A ceiling panel bulged, buckled, and gave way, collapsing at his feet. A scrambled mass of gore fell with it, shrieking and flailing wildly. Mason jumped back, and everyone else sprang away from their bunks.

       Aside the obvious bone and limb-twisting deformations, the eyes of Talgold’s corpse hung limply from their sockets, replaced by tendril-like feelers. His drooling jaw was split into mandibles, showing new rows of teeth lining his gaping throat. He shrieked again, gurgling his blood-caked spittle.

       Varrez screamed and bolted for the door. The others stumbled after, but the creature was able to corner Mason. It swung its arm and slashed him with a serrated vine-like growth, throwing him to the wall. The creature leapt at Mason and began mutilating him, slashing him with claws and spines, opening as many wounds as it could. Blood spray slapped the wall, and Mason cried desperately for help while vainly shielding himself with mangled arms.

       No one helped. They were banging on the door, prying at it, yelling for anybody to hear. Varrez in her panic kept hitting the door release, despite knowing that quarantine protocols had it firmly locked.

       Hornens smacked a com-display on the bulkhead, opening a channel to the bridge.

       “Captain, Captain! Open the door, it’s in here with us! Captain, can you hear me? Open the goddamn door!”

       “I can’t!” Hindel said. “Barrens has to override it from the outside!”

       “Get him, hurry!”

       “I’m on it, hang on!”

       Having torn Mason apart and shredded his major organs, the creature turned its attention to the screaming mass of victims it had to choose from, and closed in.

       Ausmith grabbed a fire extinguisher near the door and sprayed at it, slowing it, though not stopping it. Yelling, he attacked it with the empty bottle but was swatted to the deck, blood gushing from his mouth, his jaw hanging limply by its tendons. It was his turn to be gored, buying the others precious few seconds with his losing struggle against their infected crewmate.

       Barrens and his men rushed to the door and overrode the lockdown, standing aside as the others spilled out into the corridor a screaming tangle of hysteria. The SAR team formed up and leveled their shock rifles, firing at the abomination just as it finished mutilating Ausmith. Static rounds struck it in the torso and shoulder, making it wail and crawl away, slipping back up into the ceiling for escape, leaving blood dripping from the vent.

       “Recovery!” Barrens said.

       His men moved in, Davis standing guard under the vent while Duvin and Farzen checked their casualties.

       “Mason’s gone, real gone” Farzen said, his voice high and shaking.

       “So’s Ausmith” Duvin said. “Fuckin’ Christ.”

       “Get the rest to safety!” Barrens said. “Leave the bodies!”

       “We should check them for injuries first” Davis said.

       “Do it!”

       Davis nodded and sprinted out to the corridor. Barrens contacted Hindel.

       “Mason and Ausmith are dead. Talgold’s still on the loose, so we’re coming up to A-deck. Seal off everything behind us, and I mean everything!”

       “Will do” Hindel said. “Bring them up!”

       Barrens called for Farzen and Duvin, and they rejoined Davis in the corridor. The civilian crew were huddled and shaken, but fairly well composed considering.

       “Any of them hurt?”

       “No sir.”

       “Good. Farzen and I will take point. You and Duvin have the rear.”

       The SAR team escorted the civilian crew swiftly to B-deck’s terminus, splitting up to use both elevators; Davis and Duvin taking Han and Varrez, Barrens and Farzen taking Hornens and Walsh. The creature that was Talgold, far from being killed or satiated, crawled out from one of the ladder wells and lunged at them, screeching as it attacked. Farzen pivoted and fired, aiming wide and missing. It lashed at him and struck him across the helmet, shattering his faceplate and sending him reeling. It grabbed him and threw him over its shoulder, going for the rest trapped in the elevator; it slashed at them, tearing a jagged gash along Walsh’s arm. Barrens pulled him back and fired point-blank into its toothy throat, forcing it to retreat as the doors closed, their elevator ascending to A-deck.

       Breathing hard, Barrens shouted and banged his fist against the doors.

       “Farzen, Farzen goddamn it!”

       Walsh held his arm and hissed through his teeth as the entire sleeve turned red, and blood began dripping from his fingers. Hornens looked at him warily, leaning away.

       “That’s a pretty bad cut, doc.”

       “It’s nothing” Walsh said. “Absolutely nothing.”

       The elevators opened to A-deck, locking in place as Hindel prepared to seal them off from the rest of the ship. Junctions were closed, covers were slid over the ladder wells, and primary power was cut for good measure. Only A-deck would be allowed to function at full capacity. The engines groaned, shuddered, and faded out, leaving the Wayfarer to float listlessly in orbit over a dead world, all but dead herself.

       The survivors filed out into the terminus, stunned and scared, but glad to be alive. The elevators closed and sat motionless. Blunt thumping, followed by soft scratching and low growling, could be heard below their feet.

       “Gather them up” Barrens said to Davis, now the most senior of his men.

       “We’re moving as far from any entry below deck as we can get. Main Fore’s right behind the bridge, right?”

       “I think so” Davis said.

       “We’re moving there, then.”

       “Yes sir” Davis said, looking around. “Where’s Farzen?”

       “He…didn’t make it.”

       Hearing that from the sergeant was a shock to him, but Davis’ training quickly suppressed it. Any words he had were stuck in his throat, and swallowed back down.

       “I’ll go get Duvin” he said.

       Hindel ran out from the bridge to meet them, sweat dotting her brow, her environment suit disheveled.

       “Is this everyone?”

       “Most” Barrens said. “Farzen was killed by the elevators.”

       “I’m sorry to hear that” Hindel said.

       Barrens nodded. “Dr. Walsh is wounded. I recommend isolated treatment in sickbay.”

       “Of course” Hindel said. “In the meantime…we’ll think of something we can do.”

 While most of the surviving crew were taken to the forward compartment by the bridge, Walsh was confined to sickbay and left to the care of Dr. Han. Wearing a hazmat suit, he cleaned and bandaged Walsh’s arm, after taking blood and tissue samples for study.

       “Think that’s a good idea?” Walsh said.

       “Given our situation, or yours rather” Han said. “It couldn’t hurt to figure out the infection’s rate of spread, growth, or consumption of living tissue. Don’t worry, I’ll have my eyes on it.”

       “I’m sure that’s what the science officer on the Wanderer thought” Walsh said.

       “They didn’t know what they were dealing with” Han said.

       Walsh chuckled. “Neither do we.”

       Han didn’t respond as he finished cleaning and wrapping the wound. “If you need anything, you have mine and the captain’s coms.”

       “Don’t worry about me” Walsh said. “Quarantine’s actually pretty comfy, once you get used to it.”

       “Oh? Then I’ll just take my samples and be on my way.”

       Han got up to leave, but Walsh stopped him.

       “There is one more thing, if you don’t mind.”

       He lowered his voice, and sighed. “If it seems I’ve started to…turn, as it were, and I’m beyond help or saving…could you talk to Sergeant Barrens about, well, you know?”

       “It won’t come to that” Han said. “But I’ll pass it on.”

       “Thank you.”

       “Don’t mention it.”

       With that, Dr. Han left sickbay.

[tireping20-blog]

Hifu London

the Best Cryotherapy In London.

Content

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It is a naturally taking place sugar that exists in almost all living organisms. Its crucial duty is to absorb water and also transports nutrients to the skin making certain that the structure and volume is maintained. The beauty of this item is that the results are noticeable promptly after the treatment. Because of this, most of our people will return for a leading up every 6-12 months approximately. We have many different therapies and also procedure that we can make use of to improve your skin, and also offer an extra Visual look. We can assess the level of skin ageing and also photo-damage your skin has experience, and also begin a Skin care regimen to correct the damages. We advise a high SPF for daily usage, and there are preferred products we can suggest to you.

As the ultrasound exam surges are really concentrated throughout the treatment places, you will definitely experience really little quantities of electrical power sent out with to precise midsts beneath the skin layer. The treatment functions much better on skin layer of light to light indifference where it is actually starting to really feel and likewise show up a whole lot less company along with grow older.

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Around 50 % of ladies will certainly experience virginal looseness because of Menopause. The vaginal canal wall includes collagen fibers, these with time normally stretch. Consequently, the vaginal area wall surface begins to loosen and also lose its flexibility. This can result in a decline in contentment of sexual intercourses. Genital Canal Tightening Up Up with FemiWand ® is a non-invasive, non-surgical therapy created to tighten vaginal canal tissues without surgical procedure or anaesthetic.

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A 2017 research study involving 32 individuals offered that HIFU Buckinghamshire significantly improved skin layer versatility of the jowls, minimal abdominal locations, in addition to upper legs after 12 full weeks. HIFU isn't very recommended for people together with contaminations and likewise readily available skin layer sores at the intended area, severe and even cystic acne, as well as also metal implants in the treatment place.

Is cryotherapy better than ice bath?

Cryotherapy gets down to -184-degrees Fahrenheit, while an ice bath doesn't make it below 50-degrees unless you were to sit in it for close to 30 minutes! 3. Cryotherapy uses dry cold to reduce the skin's temperature while an ice bath uses wet cold which can cause muscle tissue to congeal making them pretty immobile.

Hifu Face and Also Neck Lift

Elder individuals in addition to extra detailed aging, extreme skin layer indifference, or perhaps fairly sagging skin layer on the back might not be superb prospects as well as additionally may need to have surgical operation. Individuals together with photodamaged skin layer and even a greater level of loosened up skin layer may need a number of treatments right before observing outcome. The surge in collagen results in tighter, more powerful skin layer together with far fewer lines. As quickly as the cells in the targeted region fulfill a details temp, they experience cell harm. While this could show up disadvantageous, the damage really promotes the tissues to create much more collagen-- a healthy protein that supplies construct to the skin layer. HIFU utilizes focused ultrasound assessment energy to target the levels of skin layer merely listed below the area.

It creates focused thermal house heating to the internal layers of genital location cells when this is used. Just lately, HIFU Buckinghamshire has actually been adeptly made use of for aesthetic therapies, such as skin laxity. As we age, collagen fibers within the genital canal beginning to reduce rigidity.

If your flow of pee is weak or slow-moving after your catheter is secured, speak to your physician or nurse.

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You might see some blood in your pee while the catheter is in place.

If you are anxious or see signs of an infection, speak with your doctor or registered nurse immediately.

Yet we require extra research study before we know if there is a difference in the danger of negative effects.

You could additionally see some little pieces of prostate cells in your pee for six to eight weeks after HIFU.

You may have discomfort in the location between your testicles and back passage, however you'll be offered pain-relieving drugs to take in the house.

Avoid any difficult activity or exercise for about 2 weeks and genital intercourse for around 4 weeks. • Loss of elasticity in the Vaginal area can cause vaginal infections. • The Relentless impulse to pee is also an impact of the loss of genital loosening. After childbirth, the vaginal area walls come to be overstretched, lowered level of sensitivity and also rigidity. The ageing procedure creates an all-natural collections breakdown leaving the vaginal muscle mass loosened up, adding to helping to loosen of the Vaginal canal.

Does Body Sculpting really work?

Yes, body sculpting gets rid of fat cells and reduces the appearance of fat on targeted areas of the body. Whether using heat, cooling, or ultrasound, body sculpting treatments kill fat cells that are then excreted over the next couple of months, which is when you'll see full results.

So What works Better, Cellulite Creams Or Treatments?

CryoPen ™ Buckinghamshire therapy is quick, effective, and risk-free. CryoPen ™ makes use of freezing temperatures, to securely remove, benign skin imperfections such as verrucae, marks, warts, cherry angiomas, skin tags, and also milia. The cryopen is developed to reduce any type of damage to bordering skin tissue to the skin. blemish. The cryopen utilizes its freezing modern technology to get rid of skin blemishes in minutes. The Cryopen does not make use of harmful gases, liquid or anaesthetics. It has an unique innovative innovation utilizing freezing temperature levels to remove skin flaws.

Nonetheless the additional fat is removed from the location, the skin might not tighten up as wanted. Speak with along with your physician concerning whether Lipo Sculpt Buckinghamshire can aid you to accomplish your best ambitions. Also, people with ageing skin might see decreased advantages in some components, as ageing skin loses its elasticity. Possible clients that have considerable excess weight as well as intend to reduce their loose skin might not see the outcomes they want from Lipo Sculpt Buckinghamshire. The device is for usage on excess fat pockets, not cellulite or skin toning as it takes care of surface area fat.

outstanding!!

Buttocks as well as the external rear of your thighs, the "bags" that many women want to change, must be evaluated on a specific individual by person basis. Thousands of customers can affirm our service and also therapies are second to none as well as this is why consumers return to us over and over again.

Is Cryotherapy the same as coolsculpting?

Like Coolsculpting, Cryo T-Shock uses very cold temperatures to kill adipose (fat) cells. But Cryo T-Shock takes it a step further. While Coolsculpting can indeed kill body fat cells, it is really only effective for larger body areas such as the abdomen, back, and legs.

exists any Type Of Downtime?

You might observe a quick tightening up result after therapy, in addition to the complete training in addition to firming occurring over around 3 months as the skin layer's all-natural bovine collagen establishes. The boosted collagen will certainly in cause tightening up of the skin layer reducing the indicators old via reinforcing skin tone as well as additionally flexibility. In Bodybuilding for Weight Loss of the procedure ultrasound evaluation thermic power is actually used to generate deep blue sea layers of the skin layer and additionally make certain the natural production of bovine collagen.

Clean and sterile thin needles with absorbable, great barbed string dipped in stem cell liquid are inserted under the skin of the area to be treated. They are taken out together leaving the thread inside the skin Collagen is promoted when the needles are taken out and this increases skin tone. A threadlift, or stitch lift, treatment is an anti-aging treatment where special absorbable and also unnoticeable threads are used to enhance the features of the face and also hold the skin and also facial cells in place. The threadlift procedure is long lasting compared to anti-aging injectables. The treatment boosts drooping eyebrows, sunken cheeks and also sagging dewlaps and also necks.

The HIFU spruce up is really currently covering the expenses as one of one of the most very discreet as well as likewise practical makeover ever. It is in fact consequently rapid that you can conveniently receive one throughout a lunch time breather. HIFU targets the specific same finishing of skin layer attended to in plastic surgery, travelling through the structure level of your skin layer.

The ultrasound electrical energy causes the cells to warm up rapidly. Normally, the method operates most efficiently on people much older than 30 in addition to mild-to-moderate skin. A cooling head is placed in a place any place you wish to eliminate the sagging fat. The device delicately targets extra fat cells under your skin as well as crystallise them. Also, this procedure is non-surgical which represents that no incisions are required.

Aircast Cryo Cuff cooler.

My skin really felt impressive after both therapies and also looked greatSharon, UK, I have had a Superhigh Frequency Facial and an Optiphi Peel. The salon is so calming and the staff are very expert and helpful.

Because excess fat cells are even more vulnerable to cool temperatures than skin cells, the process generates apoptosis as well as progressively eliminates body fat over a range of weeks. Our new treatment can develop excess fat burning in individuals that targets areas utilizing cool to gradually eliminate and also get rid of fat over a 6 to 12 week duration. The fat cells that were as soon as "drawn out", only recreate and at times return with also uglier issues. Allow's state you are having trouble changing fat from your tummy or upper legs with your regular exercises. We target this area of the body's fat cells by placing the Lipo Sculpt machine at that target location for about 1 hour throughout which time the fat cells start to die.

How often should you do cryotherapy for weight loss?

Many participants find that to maintain these benefits, they need to do cryotherapy 2-3 times a week. Depending on the person and the condition being treated, it could take seven to ten treatments initially. After this initial loading period, maintenance treatments should be once or twice per week.

The HIFU therapy works through infiltrating the skin layer along with ultrasound evaluation power to advertise bovine collagen production in deep blue sea facial along with subdermal amounts, leading to mini injury to that cells. Additionally called 'Ultrasound Facelift', 'Ultherapy' and even '3D SkinMed', HIFU facials Buckinghamshire have actually become among the best popular as well as good training procedures for the skin and additionally back. Post-treatment, you'll find a visible enhancement in general face contouring, alright lines, as well as folds. Great deals of people uncover the end results will certainly last for around a year, nevertheless you can conveniently have finest up treatments should certainly you need every one of them.

As we grow our skin layer drops its very own suppleness as well as type, much like our preferred apparel. This modification begins in the fundamental coatings which aid our skin layer-- which is in fact simply exactly how skin layer sagging as well as likewise wrinkles establish.

[moatgrease44-blog]

Fat Melting Vs Fat Freezing

the Best Cryotherapy In London.

Content

Lip Volumizing New therapy.

The Better Skin facility.

Hifu Face and Also Neck Lift

So What works Better, Cellulite Creams Or Treatments?

impressive!!

It is a normally taking place sugar that exists in mostly all living organisms. Its essential role is to take in water and also transports nutrients to the skin making certain that the framework and also volume is kept. The appeal of this item is that the impacts are visible instantly after the procedure. Because of this, a lot of our individuals will return for a leading up every 6-12 months or so. We have several treatments and also treatment that we can make use of to boost your skin, and give a more Visual appearance. We can assess the degree of skin ageing as well as photo-damage your skin has experience, and begin a Skin care routine to correct the damage. We advise a high SPF for day-to-day usage, as well as there are advisable products we can suggest to you.

As the ultrasound examination surges are actually focused throughout the treatment places, you will certainly experience really small quantities of electrical power sent with to exact midsts underneath the skin layer. facelift on skin layer of light to moderate indifference where it is actually beginning to actually feel and also show up a great deal much less company along with grow older.

Lip Volumizing New therapy.

Around 50 % of ladies will experience virginal looseness as a result of Menopause. The vaginal canal wall surface consists of collagen fibers, these gradually normally stretch. As a result, the vaginal canal wall surface begins to loosen up and lose its elasticity. This can cause a decline in fulfillment of sexual intercourses. Vaginal Canal Tightening Up Up with FemiWand ® is a non-invasive, non-surgical therapy created to tighten up genital canal cells without surgical treatment or anaesthetic.

The Better Skin facility.

A 2017 research study involving 32 individuals presented that HIFU Buckinghamshire substantially improved skin layer adaptability of the jowls, minimal abdominal locations, in addition to top legs after 12 full weeks. HIFU isn't extremely recommended for individuals along with contaminations and also readily available skin layer sores at the intended location, extreme and even cystic acne, and additionally metal implants in the treatment place.

Is cryotherapy better than ice bath?

Cryotherapy gets down to -184-degrees Fahrenheit, while an ice bath doesn't make it below 50-degrees unless you were to sit in it for close to 30 minutes! 3. Cryotherapy uses dry cold to reduce the skin's temperature while an ice bath uses wet cold which can cause muscle tissue to congeal making them pretty immobile.

Hifu Face and Neck Lift

More mature individuals together with additional extensive aging, extreme skin layer indifference, and even quite saggy skin layer on the back may not be outstanding prospects and also could require to have surgical operation. Individuals together with photodamaged skin layer or perhaps a higher level of loosened up skin layer may call for a number of procedures just before observing end results. The surge in collagen results in tighter, stronger skin layer in addition to far fewer lines. As soon as the tissues in the targeted area fulfill a specific temperature, they experience cell harm. While this could appear detrimental, the injury actually promotes the tissues to produce even more collagen-- a healthy protein that delivers construct to the skin layer. HIFU utilizes centered ultrasound examination power to target the levels of skin layer just listed below the location.

It develops concentrated thermal home heating to the internal layers of vaginal location cells when this is made use of. Simply recently, HIFU Buckinghamshire has in fact been skillfully taken advantage of for aesthetic treatments, such as skin laxity. As we age, collagen fibres within the vaginal canal begin to minimize rigidity.

If your flow of urine is weak or slow after your catheter is taken out, talk with your medical professional or registered nurse.

Much less of the healthy and balanced tissue is damaged during focal HIFU than whole-prostate HIFU so some experts think it may cause fewer adverse effects than whole-prostate HIFU.

You might see some blood in your urine while the catheter remains in area.

If you are concerned or see indicators of an infection, talk with your physician or registered nurse straight away.

Yet we require much more study prior to we understand if there is a distinction in the threat of adverse effects.

You may also see some tiny pieces of prostate tissue in your urine for 6 to 8 weeks after HIFU.

Your physician or registered nurse will examine that you've recovered from the anaesthetic as well as are in shape to go home.

One of the most usual negative effects are urinary system problems as well as problem obtaining or maintaining an erection.

Avoid any difficult activity or workout for concerning 2 weeks as well as genital intercourse for around 4 weeks. • Loss of elasticity in the Vaginal area can result in genital infections. • The Relentless urge to pee is likewise an impact of the loss of genital loosening. After giving birth, the vaginal canal walls come to be overstretched, reduced sensitivity and also rigidity. The aging procedure creates an all-natural collections break down leaving the vaginal muscular tissues unwinded, contributing to loosening of the Vaginal canal.

Does Body Sculpting really work?

Yes, body sculpting gets rid of fat cells and reduces the appearance of fat on targeted areas of the body. Whether using heat, cooling, or ultrasound, body sculpting treatments kill fat cells that are then excreted over the next couple of months, which is when you'll see full results.

So What works Better, Cellulite Creams Or Treatments?

CryoPen ™ Buckinghamshire therapy is quick, effective, and risk-free. CryoPen ™ makes use of freezing temperature levels, to securely remove, benign skin imperfections such as verrucae, marks, verrucas, cherry angiomas, skin tags, as well as milia. The cryopen is created to minimise any damages to surrounding skin cells to the skin. imperfection. The cryopen utilizes its freezing innovation to remove skin imperfections in minutes. The Cryopen does not utilize hazardous gases, fluid or anaesthetics. It has an one-of-a-kind advanced modern technology making use of freezing temperature levels to eliminate skin blemishes.

However the extra fat is eliminated from the location, the skin could not tighten up as desired. Get in touch with along with your doctor regarding whether Lipo Sculpt Buckinghamshire can help you to accomplish your ultimate aspirations. Additionally, individuals with aging skin may see reduced benefits in some components, as ageing skin sheds its flexibility. Possible clients that have significant excess weight as well as wish to lower their loosened skin could not see the outcomes they want from Lipo Sculpt Buckinghamshire. The device is for use on excess fat pockets, not cellulite or skin toning as it deals with surface area fat.

outstanding!!

fat legs treatment with the external backs of your thighs, the "satchels" that many ladies desire to change, have to be analyzed on a specific individual by person basis. Countless clients can indicate our solution as well as treatments are second to none and this is why customers return to us time and time again.

Is Cryotherapy the same as coolsculpting?

Like Coolsculpting, Cryo T-Shock uses very cold temperatures to kill adipose (fat) cells. But Cryo T-Shock takes it a step further. While Coolsculpting can indeed kill body fat cells, it is really only effective for larger body areas such as the abdomen, back, and legs.

You may observe a quick tightening up result after treatment, together with the total training along with firming taking place over around 3 months as the skin layer's all-natural bovine collagen establishes. The enhanced collagen will certainly in reason tightening up of the skin layer lowering the indicators old via reinforcing complexion and additionally flexibility. Throughout the treatment ultrasound assessment thermal power is really used to cause deep blue sea layers of the skin layer and additionally guarantee the organic production of bovine collagen.

Clean and sterile thin needles with absorbable, great barbed string dipped in stem cell liquid are put under the skin of the location to be treated. They are pulled out together leaving the thread inside the skin Collagen is promoted when the needles are taken out as well as this enhances complexion. A threadlift, or suture lift, treatment is an anti-aging procedure where special absorbable and unseen threads are made use of to enhance the attributes of the face as well as hold the skin and also face cells in place. The threadlift procedure is long lasting contrasted to anti-aging injectables. The treatment augments drooping eyebrows, sunken cheeks and sagging jowls and necks.

The HIFU spruce up is in fact currently covering the expenses as one of one of the most really discreet as well as likewise useful new look ever. It is really consequently fast that you can easily obtain one throughout a lunch time breather. HIFU targets the exact same coating of skin layer took care of in cosmetic surgery, travelling through the framework level of your skin layer.

The ultrasound electricity causes the cells to heat up swiftly. Generally, the strategy operates most successfully on people much older than 30 along with mild-to-moderate skin. A cooling head is positioned in a location any place you want to get rid of the loose and flabby fat. The gadget carefully targets additional fat cells under your skin as well as crystallise them. Likewise, this process is non-surgical which represents that no cuts are needed.

Aircast Cryo Cuff colder.

My skin felt amazing after both treatments and also looked greatSharon, UK, I have had a Radio Frequency Facial and also an Optiphi Peel. The salon is so calming and the staff are extremely specialist and also practical.

Because excess fat cells are much more at risk to chilly temperature levels than skin cells, the process induces apoptosis and also continuously eliminates body fat over a variety of weeks. Our brand-new treatment can create excess weight loss in people that targets areas making use of chilly to gradually kill and remove fat over a 6 to 12 week duration. The fat cells that were as soon as "sucked out", only replicate and also sometimes return with even uglier difficulties. Allow's state you are having difficulty shifting fat from your tummy or upper legs with your routine workouts. We target this area of the body's fat cells by positioning the Lipo Sculpt device at that target location for approximately 1 hour during which time the fat cells start to die.

The HIFU treatment operates with infiltrating the skin layer together with ultrasound evaluation power to promote bovine collagen production in deep blue sea face along with subdermal quantities, resulting in mini injury to that cells. Furthermore called 'Ultrasound Facelift', 'Ultherapy' or even '3D SkinMed', HIFU facials Buckinghamshire have in fact developed into among the best well-known as well as excellent training procedures for the skin as well as additionally back. Post-treatment, you'll discover an obvious enhancement in general face contouring, alright lines, along with folds. Lots of people discover completion outcomes will certainly last for around a year, nonetheless you can easily possess best up treatments should certainly you need all of them.

As we grow our skin layer drops its own flexibility along with type, much like our preferred clothing. This modification begins in the basic finishings which assist our skin layer-- which is really simply exactly how skin layer sagging and additionally creases develop.

[sunbrights]

fic: brick by brick (1/10)

fandom: danganronpa characters/pairings: fuyuhiko kuzuryuu, peko pekoyama + the SDR2 survivor squad. kuzupeko. tags for other plot-relevant characters will be added on AO3 as chapters are posted, yadda yadda. rating: m summary: They meet again, after the Neo World Program has torn them to their foundations: hope, despair, and the yawning debt of their history, waiting to be answered. It's up to them to rebuild, from the ground up, no matter how difficult the work or unfamiliar the tools.

No one can lay the mortar of your recovery but yourself.

read on AO3

He’s there when she wakes up.

It’s not on accident. Mioda and Hanamura were both up before her, so when the neurological readings from her pod start to spike, Hinata is able to plot out the trajectory of her initial recovery with clinical, precise timing. When they’re six hours out, he puts her on a stopwatch, down to the second.

By then it’s a given that she’ll come out of the pod. The process of waking her up started already, weeks ago, when the cocktail of anesthetics keeping her body in low-energy stasis started reducing its doses. The last six hours are about making sure she has a self to wake up to, and the physical capacity to do it: calibrating oxygen levels and applying electrical stimulation and initiating the final upload from Hinata’s program.

(He’d made Hinata explain to him how it worked, after Mioda. He spent days memorizing the simplest, dumbed-down version Hinata could give him, so that he’d be ready for today.)

They wait in the simulation room together, all seven of them. It’s a thing now, this being the third one. It’s less like a party and more like a ritual, but Hanamura brings snacks anyway. Fuyuhiko doesn’t find time to eat them, between his pacing.

He and Hinata are the only ones allowed to go near the pod, so that she isn’t overwhelmed when she wakes up. He catches himself leaning over to stare at her through the frosted glass of the lid more than once. Maybe at one moment her skin looks warmer. Maybe at another her eyes move more rapidly under their lids.

It doesn’t matter. No amount of watching or not watching changes Hinata’s projection. The stopwatch beeps, and Hinata stands up from his computer. The row of lights at the top of her pod all turn green.

Fuyuhiko freezes, halfway through his loop around the room. He thought maybe he’d feel like he was going to throw up, but instead his stomach just feels cold, straight to the bottom.

Hinata looks at him. “Are you ready, Kuzuryuu?”

He doesn’t answer, because it doesn’t matter if he is or isn’t. The others gather up their food and books and games, and spread out along the outer edges of the room to give them space.

The pod hisses, and the lid unlatches. He and Hinata lift it from either side, and she’s just... there. There’s nothing elegant or uplifting about it. Her hair is limp and tangled. Her skin is almost translucent, stretched over bone. She looks even worse in the raw light of the fluorescent bulbs above them.

The fanciful part of his brain had been thinking of it like a cocoon, or some kind of sci-fi cryo pod, but it really is like a coffin. She’s really like a corpse, rising from the dead.

(But she is alive.)

Her chest expands, her eyes open, and suddenly there isn’t enough air in the room.

“Kuzuryuu.”

Hinata is staring at him. He’s always fucking doing that these days, staring, like the rest of them don’t notice.

Fuyuhiko presses his weight down onto the edge of the open pod, until it pinches the skin of his palms. He tries. He opens his mouth. He owes this to her, to be the thing that ties her back down to reality.

He can’t.

“Pekoyama,” Hinata says for him. “Can you hear me?”

It’s like her eyes are swimming in her head. They swing unsteadily from Hinata’s face, to his, and back again. There’s no recognition in it. When her lips move, no sound comes out. Her fingers find the edge of the pod, and curl in against the metallic lip.

“Pekoyama,” Hinata says again. “Do you know where you are?”

Fuyuhiko feels the moment she panics, before she’s coordinated enough to express it. Her answer to Hinata’s question is no. She’s constricted in a small space. She’s surrounded by people she doesn’t recognize. She doesn’t have an obvious exit or a readily-available weapon.

He elbows Hinata out of the way, so it’s only him bent over the pod when it happens. Her arms lock against the sides, her breathing turns erratic, her eyes go wide and trembling, and he finds his words. “Peko. Look, it’s okay, I—”

She lunges at him. She leverages herself up by twisting her hands in his collar, and he nearly bangs his head on the open lid. She finds some purchase against the bottom of the pod, but she’s not ready to be upright; her eyes unfocus, her balance sways, and they tumble out of it together, his shoulder hitting the floor at a painful angle.

She’s on top of him, by the time his head’s done spinning. She’s half trying to pin him, and half just trying to keep herself oriented, which translates to a flimsy grip at the front of his shirt. There are scattered shouts and a frenzy of movement behind them. Hinata barks something at Owari.

“Back off!” Fuyuhiko shouts. “I got it! It’s fine! Don’t take a single fucking step!”

Peko’s been in the pod so long that her muscles are weak and seized up; her element of surprise doesn’t count for much. It’s too easy to flip her, to grab her by both wrists and pin her to the floor.

“Hey!” He struggles to control his volume. His voice bounces around the shitty acoustics of the building. “Peko! Listen to me. You gotta chill out, okay? It’s just friends here. It’s just—”

She thrashes. She fights. She does everything in her power to break his grip and doesn’t even come close. Her muscles strain like threads under his fingertips, and for a blind second he wonders if it’s possible they might snap, under too much stress.

He listens to his own voice crack. “It’s just me.”

Her gaze finds his face and hangs there. The fight drains out of her in inches, until even her neck goes loose, and the back of her head hits the floor with a hollow sound. When he lets her go, she leaves her arms where they are, limp and splayed out. Her eyes are wet. Her next breath is a gasp.

He cups her face in both hands, and bows his forehead against hers. “It’s okay,” he whispers, throat scratchy. “I- I know. It’s okay.”

It isn’t. In the end, no amount of coaxing gets through to her; Owari has to help him pick her up off the floor. She hangs off the both of them, loose-limbed and heavy, like she isn’t trying to hold herself up, like she doesn’t even want to.

*

She apologizes for it later, after they’ve bundled her into a hospital bed and she’s had time to sink back into herself. “Forgive me, young master,” she says. She doesn’t look at him. “I was having trouble… focusing.”

He had a plan, for this moment. He made a bullet point list of the things he wanted to say, since he knew he wouldn’t be able to remember a full speech. In that plan, though, he’d done a better job of getting her here than he’s done so far.

As it stands, “It’s fine,” and, “Please don’t call me that,” are about as much as he can manage.

She smooths the wrinkles out of the bedsheets with her palm. She hates it, the bed. She wouldn’t bother fidgeting with it otherwise. It almost swallows her, as thin as she is. The pale blue of the hospital gown washes out her skin.

(But she is alive.)

She doesn’t answer, at first. He doesn’t expect her to. It’s been her MO since they were kids and he first heard the title come out of her mouth: she can’t say no to something he wants, so she ignores him until he either forgets or gets tired of asking.

It’s nearly fifteen minutes later before she finally says, “Yes.” The sound of her voice startles him, like someone snapped a rubber band against his wrist.

He opens his mouth to say good or great or thank you, and then he closes it again. He bites down on the inside of his cheek until it stings. Barely a few hours in and he’s already back to making assumptions about what she wants and how she feels.

He tries again: “Yes, you’ll stop?”

She looks at the window. Not out of it; her gaze is too short for that, and it isn’t like there’s much to look at, anymore. There are smears of hard water spots on the glass.

“I think,” she starts, then stops. The answer to his question seems to get swallowed by the thick of her thoughts. “There’s still more I need to understand.”

“About what?”

Her eyes slide over. It’s the first time she’s looked directly at him since they brought her to the hospital. She looks intense and exhausted at once. “You.”

“We got nothing but time now,” he tells her. It’s not strictly true. “So, whatever we gotta figure out… We’ll figure it out. Okay?”

She nods. She doesn’t say anything else.

He wants to take her hand where it’s lying loose on the bedspread next to her. It’s the only thing he can think of to give her some kind of comfort or steady ground, but there’s a purpling spot starting to curl around the inside of her wrist that he can’t take his eyes off of. He isn’t sure if it’s because her body’s still so fragile, or because he let himself go too far when he grabbed her, or both.

He keeps his hands to himself.

*

The pain gets worse. It slows her rehab down so much that Sonia starts to worry Peko’s room at the hospital might not be free before someone else wakes up from the system. It’s something she’s careful not to say to his face, not that it matters. Sentiments spread.

He tries everything he can think of to make Peko more comfortable: pillows and painkillers and hot and cold compresses. Nothing helps. She never tells him so, only thanks him in a small voice and rests her head back against the pillows, but line across her forehead never eases.

Hinata tells him that she’s having more difficulty decoupling herself from the nocebo effects of the system than average. Phantom pain, from hundreds of phantom wounds.

“I understand what you’re saying,” Fuyuhiko answers. “But what does that mean?”

Hinata looks at him over the edge of his computer monitor. There are strange shadows cast into the hollows of his face. “I think you should ask her,” he says.

He doesn’t. He wants to, but he doesn’t. It sits on the tip of his tongue every hour of every day he sits with her in her cramped hospital room: “Are you not letting yourself heal on purpose?”

Instead, he sits there like a jackass and watches pain get the better of her, for the first time since they were kids. At least once a day her expression will go vacant while he talks, fingers twisted into knots in her lap.

The third time it happens, he stops mid-thought. “Peko.” Her eyes are cloudy when they drift towards him. “You’re not listening, are you?”

She looks stricken to be caught. “I’m sorry.” She grips the mattress to twist herself more fully toward him. Her elbows tremble. “Would you consider starting again from the beginning? I’ll not let myself be distracted this time.”

“Will you cut it out?” He stands up. He wants to press her shoulders back, or cup her elbow until it relaxes, but can only get his hands to hover. “You can ignore me all damn day if you want.”

His hovering doesn’t do jack shit. She only stops when her biceps give out and she tumbles the few inches back to the pillows, and he just stands there and lets her.

What kind of useless is he?

He curls and uncurls his fists. Breathe in: one, two, three, four. Breathe out: one, two, three, four. Whatever scraps of bravery he has left, it’s about time he found them.

He sets his palm against her back. She doesn’t make a sound, but he feels the expansion of her lungs from the way her skin shifts over her ribs. “C’mon,” he says. “Let me…”

She doesn’t say anything, but she understands anyway. She leans forward enough for him to reach the pillow that’s supposed to be supporting the small of her back; it’s mashed down so far it has to be uncomfortable, at this point.

The pillow’s a cheap, shitty thing. It’s all they’ve got, though. He fluffs it between his palms.

“... Does it hurt?” he asks.

“It’s not important,” she answers, like that’s any kind of answer at all.

“You don’t have to do that anymore.” She doesn’t reply. She avoids his gaze, and settles back against the newly fluffed pillow with murmured thanks. “It’s- It’s important to me, alright?” he tries again. “It matters if you’re in pain.”

“Could you start again from the beginning?” she asks.

His jaw sets. It’s starting to ache from how often he clamps down on it.

He sits back down, and starts again.

*

A week later, he hoists himself up to sit on the edge of her bed, instead of plopping into the plastic folding chair like normal. He takes some private satisfaction in the way she blinks owlishly at him. At least it’s a facial expression.

He’d swiped Souda’s card deck on his way out this morning. Peko watches him shuffle, but it’s not until he’s dealing cards between them that she finally asks. “... What are you doing?”

“Two-ten-jack,” he says. He sets the remainder of the deck on the bed between them. It shifts a little, cards at the top sliding precariously, but Peko doesn’t move much. It’ll be fine, probably. “You remember how to play?”

“Yes, but—”

“Great.” He fans his cards out in front of his face. “You’re up.”

She humors him. She always does. She fumbles her cards a little, fingers unsteady, but she plays, slow-going as it is. She lays down a three of hearts. He drops the ten and scoops it up.

He keeps winning, over and over and over again. It’s by a thin margin every time: she loses by four, then by three, then by five, then by two. It’s not because they’re close games, or even because he’s any better than she is. It’s because she keeps throwing the last few tricks, right before she’s about to win.

He wants to say something about it. He almost does, when he realizes she’s doing it and some old, petty part of him raises its hackles in humiliation— but her eyes are brighter than he’s seen them since she woke up. She’s not the same rigid, passive statue she’s been so far. She isn’t digging her nails into the inside of her wrists to offset pain they can’t treat.

It’s better progress than they’ve made in weeks.

“Would you like to play again?” she asks, lifting her eyes to his. The line of her brow is soft. It’s one of the longest sentences she’s said to him since she woke up that hasn’t been an apology.

He says, “Yeah,” and deals. He tells himself he’ll bring it up again another time. He tells himself he doesn’t want to hobble her progress. He tells himself her health is more important than his comfort.

She loses three more rounds in a row.

“Keep ‘em,” he says when it’s time for him to leave, pressing the box into her palm. “So we can play tomorrow, too. If Souda starts complaining about it I’ll, I dunno. I’ll find new ones somewhere.”

She looks down at it, thumb tracing the faded design on the back of the box. He waits until it feels awkward, hands in his pockets, but she doesn’t say anything else. “Okay,” he says. He steps back toward the door. She still doesn’t look up. “Sonia’s gonna be pissed if I, uh, if I don’t show again, so—”

“Wait,” she blurts. When he turns back, she looks startled by herself, fingers clutched around the pack of cards in her hand.

“Thank you for visiting,” she says, syllables stilted. “Fuyuhiko.”

For the first time in weeks (or months, or years), something light flutters in his chest. “Yeah,” he says. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

*

He always shows up at the hospital in the afternoon, after lunch. She has rehab with Hinata in the morning, and he’s the most productive right after he wakes up. He gets his work done, she has time to recover from whatever it is Hinata puts her through, and anybody manning the front desk knows when to expect him. It works out.

It’s supposed to be Mioda’s turn, that day. He’d heard her cheerful check-in over the radio earlier that morning. (“Ibuki here, sounding off for the hospital! Peko-chan and Hajime-chan are here and diving right in! Ready to start another day!”)

But when he shows up, after lunch, there’s no one in the lobby.

Familiarity tickles the back of his mind. There was another day he came to the hospital and found it empty. There was a reason for that, one he was too oblivious to see. She met him at the front, led him around by the nose like a dog, showed him what he expected to find, and then—

But that was a different day. He breathes in, and focuses on the differences. The sun slants at an angle through the open blinds. Mioda’s bright purple headphones are laid out on the reception desk, snaking around the old walkman Souda put together for her.

Today is not the same, no matter what prickle climbs the length of his spine. (Bathroom, his brain suggests. Medicine. Conversation. Cards. Anything.)

“Hey,” he calls, and it’s like hearing himself in stereo. “Anybody here?”

There’s a clatter. The door to the patient hall swings open. Tsumiki stops short on the threshold and stares at him, her eyes wild.

— No, not Tsumiki. Tsumiki isn’t here. That already happened; the simulation is over.

Mioda. Mioda splays her arms out across the open mouth of the doorway. He stares at the right angle of her elbow, and understands: she’s keeping him out. “Fuyuhiko-chan—”

Pinpricks of color bloom at the edges of his vision. It’s like there’s a rush from the top of his skull straight down, through his feet, leaving everything cold and heavy in its wake.

(His brain suggests: coma, collapse, sepsis, suicide.)

“What happened?”

“Fuyuhiko-chan, you- you gotta listen, okay? Ibuki can explain it, you just—”

He isn’t listening. Her voice is tinny and far away; it hurts his ears just to try, and all there is to listen to is her cutesy bullshit. He doesn’t care about her explanation. She’s trying to keep him from getting to Peko.

(He’d do anything not to feel that way again. He’d do anything. Anything.)

He crowds Mioda in the doorway. Her chin is trembling. “Get out of my way.”

“Fuyuhiko-chan—”

“I said—” He slams his knuckles against the frame of the door. “—get the fuck out of my way.”

Her resolve crumbles. She folds in on herself, shoulders slouching in and chin dropping down. She bounces off the opposite edge of the door jamb when he shoves past her.

The only operational hospital room is the first one on the left. The door is left hanging open in a way he knows she’d hate: ajar enough to see in, but not see back out. He turns the corner, and slams it back against the wall.

Her bed is empty.

There’s a tray set at the foot of it, complete with a still-clean set of silverware and Peko’s low-impact lunch, cold and congealed in its bowl. The sheets are folded back at a neat angle. The pillows are stacked to support her spine when she sits up in bed.

“Ibuki doesn’t know what happened,” Mioda says behind him. “Peko-chan was there, and then she wasn’t, and then—”

He turns on her. She’s skinny, still, the high edges of her cheekbones jutting out from her face. She looks like she’d snap if he flicked her.

“What the fuck did you do?”

“Nothing! I… I did the same things I always do! I didn’t know that—”

“Don’t give me that fucking bullshit!” His throat is already raw. His voice has to claw its way out, ragged at the edges. “This is your fucking fault!”

Mioda shrinks away from him. She collides with a wheeled shelf set up in the hallway, and sends an already-teetering box of glass syringes crashing to the floor. They each shatter with delicate, ringing sounds that, taken together, vibrate straight through his skull.

He can only hear the sound of his own breathing, in the silence afterwards.

She has the fingers of both hands twisted into the short necklace around her throat. It’s tight enough to dig into her skin on either side, the links leaving wide divots in her neck. It might leave marks, if she stays like that long enough. She might choke. She might pass out. Evidence burned into her throat from friction, and Tsumiki isn’t here to give them the answer, only Tsumiki lied, didn’t she, and he was supposed to do something about it, he was supposed to watch over them, that was the only thing his spare life was good for anymore, and he— and he—

Cold sweat breaks out on his neck and forehead. He presses his hands against his eyes until he sees spots.

Breathe.

Four count in.

Four count out.

“Sorry,” he manages. He steps away from her, both hands up, his back to the wall. “I gotta— I gotta find her. I’m sorry. Get Sonia in here, okay?”

Mioda only starts to breathe again after he’s already out the door. He hears it behind him, a sickly rattle in her throat like a storm pushed through a pinhole.

*

Sonia is the one who raises the alarm. The walkie-talkie on his belt bursts into a cacophony of crackling noise, but in the end none of their panicking matters. He doesn’t need to go far.

This island is dry, cracked, and rocky. Its beaches are more like cliffs, red crags crumbling into the ocean below. There were never any sun-warmed sandbars or shady inlets even in the simulation, when things were supposed to be polished and pristine. The best it had going for it were the views, tall plateaus dropping off into the wide, dark sea.

The real version isn’t even much of that, anymore. The water is choppy and polluted, and the wind is cutting when it gusts. The cliffs are eroded and exposed, with all the trees either dead or blown over. They’re more like a stage now, to get a proper look at everything that can’t be undone.

He finds her slumped on her knees not five minutes south of the hospital, staring out across the water. It could almost look like she sat there on purpose, except that Peko never kneels like that, legs splayed and spine hunched. Her expression is vacant. She doesn’t look up even when he’s standing right in front of her.

There’s a familiar, hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. It creeps up, cold tendrils numbing his chest from the inside out. It makes his heart race, and turns his mouth dry.

Wouldn’t it feel better?

He could sit down with her. They could be together while they let the wind and sea spray erode them, until their skin is as red and raw and cracked as the island. They could let it swallow them up again, and then they’d be in sync again, be one again.

Wouldn’t they?

“Fuck this,” he mutters.

He bends to slide both arms around her waist. She doesn’t fight him; her arms circle his neck, and she lets him lift her back up to standing. It isn’t hard. She barely weighs anything at all anymore, with all her heavy muscle atrophied away.

She tries to let go of him as soon as she’s on her feet, but her knees buckle under the weight. She doesn’t reach for him again, even though he’s standing right there, and he has to grab her by both elbows to keep her from falling. It’s only because she weighs so little that they don’t both go tumbling into the dirt.

He’d thought she was doing better. He’d thought they were making progress, even if it was slow.

Breathe in: one, two, three, four. Breathe out: one, two— and then it slips through the spaces of his concentration: “Goddammit, Peko.”

She relents, one arm sliding around his shoulders. Her voice is muffled, with her face turned down against his collar. “I’m sorry.”

He’s supposed to give himself room to think. He’s supposed to slow down, count if he needs to, let the kneejerk reaction dissipate.

“No,” he snaps instead. “You’re not. I dunno what the hell you’re trying to prove, but the longer you act like this, the longer you’re gonna be stuck in that damn hospital bed, understand?” She doesn’t answer one way or the other. He grits his teeth.

“You’re upset,” she murmurs.

“Oh, yeah? Do I seem fucking upset to you? Great, glad we cleared that up.”

The anger in his chest colors with shame the second it’s out of his mouth. She goes silent against his shoulder. The wind whips around them, and he breathes it in: one, two, three, four.

“Sorry,” he says, on his exhale. She doesn’t say anything. “Look, I can’t— I can’t do this right now. Let’s just get back, okay?”

She doesn’t fight to stay, but her feet drag in the dirt when they go.

*

Sonia is the only one in the hospital lobby by the time they make it back. She hurries from around the reception desk when she sees them, and holds the door open for them to limp inside.

“Thank goodness,” she says, one hand over her heart. “It is a relief to see you safe, Pekoyama-san. The others will be pleased to hear as well, I am sure.”

Mioda is gone. The glass has been swept up from the floor, and the empty box thrown away. Sonia looks at him, smile soft, and he swallows.

“Sonia, I—”

“Please.” She flashes her palm at him. “Pekoyama-san needs her rest, yes? I will take care of informing the others that she has been found. There is water waiting for you both in room one.” It’s not forgotten. There’s no mistaking the polite steel in the look she gives him. But for now, she steps back to reception. “It is no trouble.”

The blankets of the bed are already pulled back. There are two glasses of water set on the bedside table, both on coasters even though the table itself is made of metal. There is a single plastic daisy in a jar.

Peko’s grip on him tightens in the doorway. Her heels slide against the linoleum, like a dog afraid of the kennel.

He lets her down onto the bed as gently as he can, but she lets go of him halfway through. The springs squeak when she hits the mattress. He still has his hands out to hold her up, like an asshole.

He puts them in his pockets. Inhale, four count. “Listen,” he says. “About before, I…”

“You don’t need to apologize.” She lifts her chin, but she’s not looking at him. She’s staring at some infuriating middle-distance beyond his shoulder. “It was my choice, and my mistake. I see that now. I’m sorry for the inconvenience I’ve caused. I understand and appreciate the effort you've put in to support me.”

His throat closes up. The silence stretches like a yoke across his shoulders, painful. “Is that what you think this is?” The door is still open behind him. He doesn’t lower his voice. “Some… fucking obligation?”

Her gaze doesn’t waver in his direction at all. She doesn’t answer.

“At least look at me, Peko.”

She won’t.

The miserable embers in his chest reignite. He’s supposed to give himself room. Slow down. Count if he needs to. Reason, don’t react.

Turns out he’s shitty at basically all of that.

He’ll have his rationalizations, later. He just wants her to understand. He wants her to see herself the way he sees her: ironclad and radiant, but also human, also suffering. She’s not an unstoppable force or an immovable object. She’s not a sword. She’s not a tool. She’s not a thing.

In the moment, though, all he thinks is: Enough.

He grabs her jaw with one hand, and turns her chin toward him. He only wants her to look at him, but then she is, eyes wide and skin warm, breathing, yielding, alive. She is alive.

His chest aches, his head spins, and then he’s kissing her.

It’s too fast and too clumsy, their noses bumping, but she lets him do it. She doesn’t flinch away, not even just from surprise. Her hands are folded in her lap. Her lips part under his, hesitant but obedient.

The word rings in his head like an alarm, or a siren, or a squeal of failing breaks. Obedient. He can’t put it back once he’s thought it. It's a spot of black ink on his brain, seeping wider.

(Obedient like her struggling to eat the candy he smuggled into middle school, so that no one in his class would find out about his sweet tooth.)

The muscles in her neck are taut from the angle he’s forced her into.

(Obedient like a metallic crack against Koizumi’s skull, bright and loud in the shitty acoustics of the beach house.)

She hasn’t touched him once of her own volition since she woke up. She’s only ever touched him because she had to, or because he put his hands on her first. She still isn’t touching him, now.

(Obedient like him standing over her with his gun cocked against her temple and the edge of her katana against his carotid, because he could, because he wanted to, because he loved the feeling of despair mirrored for both of them, and hearing her say, “Yes.”)

None of this is how he wanted it to be.

He’s fucked it up.

He pulls away, and she lets him do that, too, lashes fluttering when she looks back at him. The tip of her nose and her cheeks and her ears are flushed.

“Shit,” he whispers, and he’s having trouble catching his breath. Not in the good way. In the bad way, where each one is too quick and too small to make a difference. “Fuck, I’m— Shit. Peko. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s alright,” she says.

The tightness in his chest swells to his throat. “It’s not,” he says. “In no fucking universe. Under no fucking circumstances. You get that, right?”

She’s schooled her features into that same perfect, passive mask, but her ears are still pink. Her breath is still light, when she opens her mouth to answer. She’s beautiful. He feels like a spider circling a drain.

“It’s been a stressful afternoon for you,” she says. “I… I don’t mind if—”

“Don’t,” he chokes. “Don’t say that. Don’t.”

Her chin dips toward her chest. She says, “I understand, Fuyuhiko,” and his heart shrivels to stone. The syllables of his name sound warped and wrong in her mouth. They sound like young master.

He’d thought they were making progress. Only he hasn’t been doing anything at all, has he? He just keeps looking at her to do all the work, like he always has.

Her eyes are on her lap. She’s waiting. Obedient.

“I’m gonna go get Sonia,” he says, one hand already on the door jamb. “She’ll bring your medicine in a bit, okay? She- She’ll take care of you.”

He runs, like the coward he is.

*

“Pekoyama can be discharged from the hospital,” Hinata says at their status meeting, barely two weeks later.

The circle lights up with chatter. It’s only six of them, set up in the hotel lobby; it’s Hanamura’s turn to mind the hospital, and Peko’s not supposed to be making the trek out to this island, yet.

Fuyuhiko sits up in his seat. “What? But—”

“She can handle it,” Hinata says, before he can get the objection out. “Physically. She’ll need someone to watch her, after what happened. But it should be fine.” His eyes flicker up from his laptop, balanced on one knee. “I have confidence in her.”

Reaction curls on Fuyuhiko’s tongue. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? He swallows it back down.

Sonia nearly knocks herself in the chin with the nib of her dry-erase marker when she claps her hands. “This is excellent news!” She’s beaming at him. They all are. (Except Hinata, who only stares.) Fuyuhiko focuses on a scuff near the toe of his left shoe. “I am sure Pekoyama-san must be ‘totally over’ the hospital amenities by now. It will be a relief for her to be somewhere more familiar.”

She turns back to her whiteboard, and scrubs out the assignment next to Owari’s name with her elbow. “Owari-san, do you feel comfortable taking over the inventory from Kuzuryuu-san?” She does the same to the assignment next to his name. His stomach churns. “Just for this week, so that he can assist Pekoyama-san with her move-in.”

“Yeah,” Owari says. “I got it, no problem.”

He hears himself say, “Don’t.”

Sonia doesn’t turn around. She’s bent over, filling in Pekoyama next to his name on the assignment chart. “Sorry?”

“I said, don’t swap them.” Sonia’s marker hesitates when she looks over her shoulder at him. She’s only gotten far enough to write the first character of Peko’s name. “Leave me on inventory. It’ll be a pain to explain everything I’ve been doing. Owari can help Peko with her stuff. Not like there’s a lot of it.”

Now they’re all looking at each other. (Hinata looks at the ceiling.) The silence is awkward. Fuyuhiko is determined not to be the one to break it, arms crossed tight over his stomach.

“Uh.” Souda cracks first. “No offense, dude, but I don’t think what you’ve been doing is that complicated. I’m pretty sure Owari can handle some counting.”

“That’s not the point,” Fuyuhiko snaps.

“I think what Souda-san is trying to say,” Sonia interrupts gently, “is that we all assumed you would prefer to assist Pekoyama-san with her transition. If that is the case, we do not mind juggling the responsibility between us so that you may have the opportunity to do so.”

“And I’m saying it’s stupid to cause all that trouble just for that.”

“I see.” Sonia hovers. She glances at Hinata, but he doesn’t give her anything back. “Is that alright with you, Owari-san?”

Owari slouches down in her seat. “Yeah, I guess. Doesn’t really matter to me. Just pick somethin’ and I’ll do it.”

“Then we are decided.” Sonia wipes the words away with her palm. She writes Pekoyama again, this time next to Owari’s name instead. “Owari-san will assist Pekoyama-san’s move-in to her cottage, and Kuzuryuu-san will continue maintaining our supplies. Agreed?”

No one says anything. Fuyuhiko turns his face away. Souda eventually murmurs, “I mean, I guess so,” and that’s the end of it.

“Then we are all dismissed,” Sonia says. “Thank you again for all your help, everyone. Please have a safe and restful night.”

[lokidiabolus]

Tough Life In Andromeda

Fandom: Mass Effect: Andromeda

Pairing: Liam Kosta x Scott Ryder

Warnings: bi!Liam, spoilers for certain points in the game

Summary: Liam had dreams for the life in Andromeda. They shattered the moment they arrived and everything went crazy, but giving up was not his forte. Scott was there to lead them, strong and maybe a little broken, and Liam decided supporting him fully was the only important goal at the moment - if only Scott goddamn let him.

Can be found on Ao3.

Unbetad!

Liam

Coming to Andromeda usually made people think about new beginnings. At least most of them, at some point, decided Milky Way had nothing to offer anymore, or that there were too many bad memories or problems they wanted to escape from.

Liam thought about it a lot. He kept on mauling over it even when it was too late, when Andromeda had them in its clutches and tirelessly fired obstacles here and there to make it extra difficult – as if the fact none of the golden worlds worked out and it spread a wide-range panic among the people was not enough. Not to mention the lost arcs and Kett trying to kill them on every corner, planets being unsavoury at the best and unliveable at the worst, people still in cryo, Jien Garson meeting her fate before all of this even began and in the midst of it: them, a small Pathfinder team, roughly decimated on the first hello, stripped of the Pathfinder himself, putting his daughter in coma and leaving Kirkland dead.

If Liam was an optimist – and he usually was, if there was at least small hope he could push for – he would say hey, at least we are still alive? Which was undoubtedly true, just… this shit was hard. Quite frankly he wasn’t even at the peak of the receiving end, maybe somewhere at the side of it, and he still felt the pressure digging to his sides and to his back and then pushing down on his shoulders, attempting to discourage.

And if he felt like this – shitty, in one word – how Scott must have felt? Scott Ryder, who in one day lost his father, whose sister remained in coma, who from a member of the Pathfinder team became Andromeda’s humanity only hope?

No pressure.

And Liam was there, watching him from the very start, from a wide-eyed dreamer to a shocked disbeliever who had to bear the weight of the whole Nexus, the whole damn Hyperion with 20.000 lives riding on him. And the change wasn’t even slow, it was like a tornado, one moment he was gasping for breath, asking about Alec, and then Cora’s stance about him inheriting the title that belonged to her by default, and the other pressing forward, not giving up, never giving up.

And Liam would be damned if he didn’t support the attitude, man! He just wasn’t sure how exactly the bravado worked for their Pathfinder when the door to his cabin closed.

***

KOSTA.L >>> Can’t sleep, Pathfinder?

RYDER.S <<< Was sleep an option? I haven’t got the memo.

KOSTA.L >>> You should have read both sides of the brochure, man.

RYDER.S <<< I haven’t read it all. Sara roped me into it.

KOSTA.L >>> That’s some persuasive skills she has. I couldn’t rope you into getting me those movies and I really, really tried.

RYDER.S <<< They’re on the list, Kosta. I didn’t forget.

KOSTA.L >>> Could have fooled me.

RYDER.S <<< Thank you for the voice of confidence. I’ll sign my half-naked photos in the dock bay of Nexus next Friday.

KOSTA.L >>> Next Friday? You’re breaking my heart.

RYDER.S <<< What heart?

KOSTA.L >>> Ha.

RYDER.S <<< Was there anything else, except of the movies complaint?

KOSTA.L >>> It wasn’t a complaint, man.

RYDER.S <<< Could have fooled me.

Liam sighed and closed the private chat. The thing with Scott Ryder was like this: it didn’t work. Or it did, but only by the power of the sheer will. They clicked well on the battlefield, Liam had to admit. They even talked when they met on the Tempest – or Nexus – but it was all so… stiff. Like Ryder had thousands of barriers around himself that were password locked and Liam didn’t have the key to them, no matter how hard he tried to encrypt the guy. Sure, they weren’t enemies, they actually kept it civil and, well, normal, but Liam felt the edge of Ryder’s tolerance pressing every time he attempted to get closer.

He would say it was an obvious reaction for somebody who lost all the remaining family and got put in charge of something he never wanted to lead. Stress, hurt, pain – those things were very well known to Liam, he knew how to deal with them when somebody showed the symptoms. But with Ryder none of them worked, more like the opposite. He remained static and there for everybody reaching out to him (and they were reaching out, numerous voices, everywhere he went, there was a new request, new inquiry, even accusations that had to cut deep), but he didn’t let anybody breach the bubble.

Liam stared to the wall for a moment, the hum of the ship core seeping into his mind, and then let out another sigh, whipping the private channel open once more.

KOSTA.L >>> Seriously though. Don’t push yourself too hard.

RYDER.S <<< I don’t push myself at all, who told you that? Effortless on my part, trust me. Others push me just enough.

“Yeah, they do,” Liam mumbled unhappily, his fingers hovering above the omni tool. Seriously, all his attempts failed. Asking about Sara? She’s fine, just a sleepy head. Give her a rest. About being a Pathfinder? I suck at searching for stuff, what’s your point? The Nexus? Ugh, Kosta, stop ruining my day more than it is already.

So yeah. Breaking the shell was not an option with Ryder, he dodged it every time. He never lashed out though, never told him to stuff it, but he also never really gave him a satisfying answer of his own emotions, or opinions on that matter. Just like out of the book.

KOSTA.L >>> Okay. Try to get some sleep, Ryder. Night.

RYDER.S <<< Yeah, thanks.

I will try, Liam read the invisible line, and settled deeper into the couch. The annoying useless feeling of not being helpful to anybody here was eating him up alive.

***

“Baby it’s Voeld outside~.”

“I suppose humans don’t like cold very much,” Jaal pointed out and Ryder’s teeth chattered when a strong wind pushed from the side on their way to the slowly revealing Vault. The weather on Voeld had been deadly cold, same as living on an unfriendly piece of ice and sadness could go, but it had its charms too. Liam thought a lot about a possible outpost here, of people huddling together for warmth in houses, drinking hot tea and coffee, or maybe cocoa if somebody had that, or asking themselves if living in such a freezing wasteland was worth it.

Liam liked it, sort of. The cold was a bother, but nobody could say Voeld wasn’t in its way beautiful.

“Really? What gave us away?” The sarcasm dripped from Ryder’s voice in deadly drops and Jaal had the nerve to actually shrug at it. Liam really enjoyed having this guy around, that for sure.

“I suppose Ryder forgot to pack warmer undies,” he interjected with a small laugh and Ryder sent him a glare. The loud roaring of the Vault finally died out and it was pretty apparent Ryder didn’t even hesitate before rushing towards it, to at least a little warmer environment, as SAM helpfully announced while they entered the wide door and darkness engulfed them.

“As if warmer undies could save me from having frostbite here,” he heard their Pathfinder huff into the silence and followed his steps towards the gravity well. “Dibs on the shower once we’re back on the Tempest.”

“Aww.”

Ryder didn’t stop even when activating the freefall and Liam felt the tingling sensation hitting his spine as they slowly moved down through the floors. It was hard to tell with all the armour on how exactly was Ryder holding up, but as long as his somewhat bitter humour kept on flowing, Liam still could stay at ease.

“You look like you don’t mind though, Jaal,” he commented when their feet reach the floor again and Jaal silently looked around, probably seizing the options if things went south. Liam could tell this guy had an amazing tactical thinking and that was why he liked him so much. Plus the banter, of course.

“The cold?” the Angara glanced at Liam questioningly and he nodded. “No, not really. It is not the ideal setting, yes. But we adapt very fast.”

“Way to make me jelly over here,” Ryder mumbled and a quiet sneeze filled the hall. Liam snorted. “Don’t say anything.”

“Would never,” Liam raised his hands and Ryder stiffly moved towards the first console to activate to open them a path.

Does not fancy cold, got it.

“Alright. Let’s get this place up and running,” he heard him say and he door towards their soon sprinting exercise opened up. Liam already felt his heart beating like a drum.

***

KOSTA.L >>> Good job on Voeld, Ryder.

RYDER.S <<< You already told me that. Four times.

KOSTA.L >>> Never hurts to say it a bit more?

RYDER.S <<< Sure.

“Okay, no change, I guess,” Liam stared at the unhappy answers with a cringe. He thought of adopting more familiar approach, of course he did, but somehow couldn’t do it with Ryder being so distant all the time. Would feel weird and probably unwelcomed for both of them and nobody needed that. Not like with Jaal where being familiar sort of clicked – as well as throwing low-key insults around just for the fun of it. They kind of excelled in the fashion.

“In what?” Jaal interrupted his thoughts from the workbench and Liam closed the private channel with a sigh. “You keep sighing when you’re on board of the Tempest. Is that some kind of custom I’m not aware of?”

“I hope not,” Liam mumbled and returned back to the armour he had been poking in. There were adjustments he wanted to make, but the concentration wasn’t really great lately. He blamed Tann for it – if anything else, he could always ensure cringing moments. “I’m just trying something.”

“Something?” Jaal turned around, facing him with curious expression and Liam had to admit it would be rather unfair to keep him in a vague zone while doing things like these under his nose. So he shrugged, glanced shortly at him and then back at the armour.

“Trying to find out what makes Ryder tick,” he elaborated quietly. “Want to be of some use to him, but… he doesn’t respond to anything.”

“He reacts to you well enough when you talk,” the Angara pointed out obviously. “What else do you mean by ticking?”

“Like…” Liam straightened up, thinking about it. “Like his comfort zones?”

Jaal watched him for a moment, apparently contemplating the answer, and then hummed.

“You want to get him to like you,” he offered and Liam snorted. That was the last thing Ryder needed, someone wooing him in the middle of this damn existential crisis – although Peebee was pretty much set on the flirting mode. But then again, she flirted with almost everybody, so Liam didn’t really judge.

Well, maybe just a little.

“No,” he shook his head and Jaal looked confused. “I mean. Damn, this is difficult to explain, man.”

“Try me,” Jaal made a gesture towards him and Liam scratched his head.

“You know, this whole Initiative thing had been a mess from the start and Ryder got the worst of it, literally,” he tried carefully. Nobody needed him painting a picture other could see differently and he wanted Jaal to make his own opinion on the whole thing. “And the Tempest and the crew are here to help him to ease the burden, somehow. I was in the crisis response; I know how people under stress think. And he must be under tons of it. But nothing I learned works. He keeps on being closed off.”

“That still sounds like you want him to like you,” Jaal deadpanned, making Liam groan.

“Let’s just leave it at this – I want to be there for him if anything, as a proper member of his team. As should anybody else. But more, like…”

“Him liking you.”

“Him trusting me,” Liam sent him a look. “So he doesn’t need to worry about being shot in the back. Or deceived, because I’d be there, his second set of ears and eyes. Things like these, you know?”

“Oh,” a sudden understanding flashed in Jaal’s big, sparkly eyes. “His right hand then. War related.”

“Yes,” Liam pointed at him victoriously, then deflated again. “But he doesn’t let me.”

“You work well together though,” Jaal opposed with another confusion settling on his features. “You offer opinion when needed. As far as I’ve seen, he listens. Often things like these are enough to save a life.”

“I meant it on a little more… wholesome level though,” Liam focused back at the armour. “Not just outside of the battlefield. But even here, on the Tempest, on the Nexus. If he needed to talk he’d know I’ll listen?”

“Maybe there is already somebody like this for him you’re not aware of,” Jaal pondered and hey, that never really occurred to Liam before. Maybe somebody else from the crew – or maybe not even from the crew, maybe it was a Nexus citizen or a person from Prodromos he could be talking with. That was… unexpected. Little weird.

“They’re doing a shitty job then,” he let out bitterly. “He doesn’t look any less stressed.”

He heard Jaal chuckle and before he could ask what was so funny, the Angara turned back to his work as well and simply stated:

“Yes, you just want him to like you.”

***

Liam was livid. His body thrummed, his mind reeled. He wasn’t sure what was the strongest emotion now – if it was fear, anger or sadness, but it mingled together almost painfully in his head. Exaltation made his skin itch and the conflict was here, palpable and painful – and even more so when watching Jaal being broken over it all the way they rushed through, to reach the Moshae. Ryder led them almost relentlessly, his hands clutching the rifle to the point of breaking, and there was so much Liam learned about him today.

Passionate. Caring. Maybe dangerously unaware of his own safety. Offering Jaal a moral support while his voice was breaking over the disgusting news that kept on flowing at them from all sides.

“You promised, Ryder!” Jaal was desperate and Liam felt like throwing up. The Cardinal was staring at them like an abomination, offering a deal that felt like a pact with a devil, and Moshae was so damn angry.

“You can’t leave this place standing!” she insisted and Liam’s hand itched on the trigger when pointing at the Cardinal. Ryder’s eyes were wide and breath coming out in short puffs and Liam seriously thought this was his breaking point. And the time was running so damn short.

He watched him waver and then skim his eyes towards Liam, almost pleading, unsure.

“I can’t let them all die,” he whispered and it pained Liam just to think of making such choice instead of him. “I…”

“Yeah,” he nodded firmly. I will back you up, he wanted to say, just couldn’t find the right words at that moment. Ryder gulped down heavily, his eyes lingering.

“Yeah,” Liam repeated, because it was the only thing he could say, and it seemed like it was enough, because Ryder gritted his teeth and put the rifle down.

“Deal,” he uttered coldly, staring back at the Cardinal. “Now release them.”

Liam noticed Moshae gasping behind them, but Jaal looked relieved and the Cardinal fulfilled his part of a bargain while retreating, seemingly grateful. Ryder closed his eyes for a while and took a deep breath though his nose, his shoulders shaking.

“Fuck my life,” Liam heard him saying quietly. “Fuck it sideways.”

***

It was quiet on the Tempest. Quiet, tense and sad. New information they learned had been processed and everybody dealt with it differently. Jaal, when not with the Moshae, preferred to be alone and Liam, even though it wasn’t personally touching his own species (yet, he thought, yet, until Kett decided humans would make another good set of Chosen), ended up secluded as well.

Andromeda hated them with passion. Hell, all the events screamed at them to begone, to leave this wretched place, and Liam didn’t understand. There had to be something. At least a small thing that would make sense, right? What would prove they didn’t make this one-way journey just to be slaughtered or exalted or starved to death.

But the more he thought about it, the less probable it appeared. And the worse he felt. Crisis response, yeah…

RYDER.S <<< No good job on Voeld coming my way today?

Liam blinked at the terminal and his stomach dropped. He had been mauling over his own emotions he completely forgot Ryder was getting the worst of it the whole time, alone.

KOSTA.L >>> Tough decision today on Voeld. I… don’t even know what to say.

RYDER.S <<< That I fucked up?

KOSTA.L >>> You didn’t fuck up, man.

RYDER.S <<< Moshae is super pissed. I don’t think she would let us to Aya’s Vault. I fucked up. I should have killed the Cardinal, should have let them to blow the place sky high.

KOSTA.L >>> No. You saved lives.

RYDER.S <<< Few lives for the cost of many in the future, being exalted.

KOSTA.L >>> No.

RYDER.S <<< I don’t even know why I’m writing you this shit. I just feel tired.

Liam sucked in a breath and shook his head. Ryder must have felt terrible and he was alone in it, and the hits kept on coming. How was he able to withstand it until now without breaking over?

KOSTA.L >>> Want me to come over? To talk?

RYDER.S <<< No.

KOSTA.L >>> Alright. But you know you can talk to me, Ryder. Anytime.

RYDER.S <<< Yeah.

KOSTA.L >>> I mean it.

RYDER.S <<< I know.

KOSTA.L >>> Okay. Get some sleep?

When no response came, Liam closed the terminal and flopped on the couch. Crisis response? Him? He couldn’t take care of anybody without making it worse.

He fell asleep nestled on the ugly couch right after and the exhaustion cut deep into his bones. He completely missed the beep on the terminal and slept all the way back to Aya.

RYDER.S <<< Thanks.

***

“I noticed you’re often taking position close to Ryder.”

Liam glanced back at Peebee walking behind them and then checked the perimeter while at it. Kadara was one of a hellhole. The water was on a damn fire.

“Could be,” he mumbled, hearing Peebee hum.

Oh yay, here it comes.

“Seems like a deliberate attempt to be the one protecting him,” she didn’t disappoint and Liam refused to look Ryder’s way. If he would demand an explanation, Liam didn’t have any. It wasn’t like he didn’t trust Peebee or anything, it was just… she was rather distracting. He didn’t want to risk it.

“He’s the Pathfinder,” he responded firmly, and quite frankly that answer felt hollow even to his own ears.

“You do that when you’re out with the others?” she hit the nail on the head and Liam rolled his eyes. Must she really, really nag into it in front of Ryder, who could hear everything? Seriously?

“Not so much,” he admitted, gritting his teeth and she made a weird noise in her throat. Maybe a laugh? Would suit her.

“I see,” she let out at the end and he expected her to take a place on Ryder’s left just to vex him, but she stayed put.

He was never happier for trouble they could shoot at finding them than he had been now.

***

RYDER.S <<< Having a beef with Peebee?

KOSTA.L >>> No?

RYDER.S <<< Just checkin’.

KOSTA.L >>> If you mean what she said today on Kadara, I have no idea.

RYDER.S <<< Mkay.

KOSTA.L >>> No idea at all.

RYDER.S <<< I hear you.

KOSTA.L >>> And I do that even when she’s not around.

RYDER.S <<< Having no idea at all?

KOSTA.L >>> Sticking close to you.

RYDER.S <<< Oh right. So you can protect my virtue.

KOSTA.L >>> What virtue.

RYDER.S <<< That hurts, Kosta.

KOSTA.L >>> You’ll bounce back. You always do.

RYDER.S <<< You’re officially uninvited from all my parties.

KOSTA.L >>> Pfff. You’d miss me :P

RYDER.S <<< Hm.

KOSTA.L >>> What?

RYDER.S <<< Didn’t have you as a guy who uses smileys.

KOSTA.L >>> Who do you think taught Vetra?

RYDER.S <<< …good point. I wanted to say Cora, but.

KOSTA.L >>> Pretty sure Cora knows only the Asari ones.

RYDER.S <<< How would you make a tentacle-like smiley?

KOSTA.L >>> (-:E ?

RYDER.S <<< Nerd.

KOSTA.L >>> You asked.

RYDER.S <<< Night.

KOSTA.L >>> Night, Ryder (-:E

RYDER.S <<< …k.

***

Liam noticed in the evening. It was lying on the table next to his unfinished work – a data pad that didn’t belong to him. He checked it with a raised eyebrow, just to realize it was full of Nexus’ downloaded movies, alphabetically sorted. Most of them were documentaries, as expected, but some of the titles were usable and that made Liam happy.

KOSTA.L >>> And the Pathfinder delivers.

RYDER.S <<< I told you I didn’t forget.

KOSTA.L >>> Thanks, man. For real.

RYDER.S <<< You owe me real coffee. And a steak.

KOSTA.L >>> What? Why am I the only one that has to pay?

RYDER.S <<< Who says you’re the only one? I make everybody pay for my services.

KOSTA.L >>> Uh huh.

RYDER.S <<< …forget I said anything?

KOSTA.L >>> Nuh uh.

RYDER.S <<< K. Just the coffee then.

KOSTA.L >>> I can arrange that.

RYDER.S <<< Cool.

***

„Oh?“

„I’ve looked everywhere, but I keep getting shut down,” Liam gestured unhappily and Vetra actually stopped what she had been doing. The fact she didn’t kick him out yet was a good sign. “But you and your contacts…? I mean, please, Vetra.”

“Coffee beans, huh,” she repeated his request thoughtfully. He wouldn’t be as surprised if she would tell him no – they usually fought after all, but he still had hope she was a bigger person than him. “What a luxury.”

“It’s not for me,” he assured her and it seemed to make her curious. “But it’s important. Also, a secret.”

“Not for you and a secret,” she nodded, her eyes not leaving him for a second. “An expensive gift then?”

“Whatever it takes,” Liam agreed. He didn’t care about credits, not at this point.

“Very sweet of you,” she purred and at that moment Liam realized what she must have thought. Before he could explain, she patted him on the shoulder and shooed him out of the door.

***

“And Mr. Kosta delivers.”

“I had some help,” Liam admitted when the steaming cup of coffee that smelled like heaven finally touched the table, right in front of Ryder.

“With coffee?” the Pathfinder raised an eyebrow until the aroma hit him and his eyes widened. “Real coffee?!”

“As real as it can get,” Liam agreed and somehow felt proud about it, even though most of the work was on Vetra. He really couldn’t thank her enough (and even though she asked for a favour in the future, he was ready to sell his soul if needed) for all the inquiries she had to make to get this. He made a mental oath with himself to never mention anything about Sid in front of her ever again.

“I… don’t know what to say?” Ryder stared at the mug with shock written all over his face. “That had to cost you a fortune, jesus.”

“A favour for a favour?” Liam shrugged and boldly took a seat next to the man. Ryder didn’t seem to mind. “I’m glad if it helps.”

“You’re really something,” Ryder glanced back at him with a small smile and then pulled the mug closer. “Thank you.”

***

Liam learned their Pathfinder took the coffee black and bitter, never fancied sweets as much as Sara did, and his quarters had AC/DC playing when he entered, per his request.

 Scott

The requests were never-ending. He managed to please one person with a detour to get what they wanted, or they needed, and another five or them popped up, asking for things, for services, for closure. And Scott was so bad at saying no he rather pulled over with the Nomad just to investigate a ruin of a house for data to extract, or drove around the whole damn Eos to put up a beacon project that was left unfinished, instead of shutting them all down.

Nobody from his crew said anything to him. They followed and supported him and maybe if they did put up a protest, he would reconsider. But nobody did, and if Kosta was in the ground team at the moment, he would even encourage him further.

Sly weasel.

At some point being a Pathfinder paid off though. When the results started pouring in, he always felt accomplished, like what he had been doing had a purpose. It started with Prodromos and then any other outpost they made – on Voeld, on Elaaden, on Kadara (he got lots of shit for that one, especially thanks to the Collective, thank you for nothing, Reyes, you damn lying bastard I still listen to anyway). Sure, it was not enough, as Addison always helpfully supplied, but it was a start.

He always thought at least those things would make his father to be proud. A little proud, if anything. And Sara would be able to wake up to a bit better place than to what they arrived at first as well, that counted for something.

Except she would be mad at him at first for lying to her about dad.

RYDER.S <<< You said you had a big family, right?

KOSTA.L >>> Sure did. We were like cockroaches. Although now, when I know about Angaran families, mine feel rather small.

RYDER.S <<< In that case mine is non-existent. I even got pitied for having only one sibling, like it was a total disaster.

KOSTA.L >>> Well, I’m sure Sara counts for two at least.

RYDER.S <<< True enough. Will tell her you said that once she wakes up, so most of the anger will point at you rather than me.

KOSTA.L >>> Ha, you sneaky Adhi!

KOSTA.L >>> There is nothing to be angry about tho, I mean, you did your best?

RYDER.S <<< Yeah, it’s not really about the Pathfinding job.

KOSTA.L >>> No?

RYDER.S <<< I talked to her today.

KOSTA.L >>> Wait, is she already up?!

RYDER.S <<< Nope, not yet. SAM created a mental link, so we could talk.

KOSTA.L >>> Wow. That’s so cool, man. How’s she holding up?

RYDER.S <<< She seems fine. A little confused, but fine. Couldn’t bring myself to tell her about dad tho, so…

KOSTA.L >>> Oh, that what you meant about her being angry.

RYDER.S <<< I thought telling her this and the failure with golden words… felt like a bit too much?

KOSTA.L >>> Yeah, I’d do the same.

RYDER.S <<< You would?

KOSTA.L >>> Definitely.

RYDER.S <<< That’s kinda a relief.

KOSTA.L >>> Good to know.

He didn’t know when exactly it happened, but being able to talk to Liam put his mind at ease every time. He couldn’t tell if anybody really noticed – he knew Peebee did when it came to Liam’s overprotectiveness, but could she see Scott’s dependency as well?

It wasn’t even the wisest choice, this guy. He was a hot head and maybe bit of an idealist, and even proved making deals behind his back (with good intentions that backfired, making Scott clean up his mess after). Of course, Liam always owned it, apologized and made it right, but it didn’t change anything about the fact he wasn’t the best advisor Scott could get for tough decisions.

And there were only tough decisions ahead of them – and Scott always looked for Liam’s opinion, no matter what. It could have been Cora. Hell, it should have been Cora – professional, independent, smart, his second-in-command. Maybe a bit too much by the book, but at least the diplomacy was on point, never pulling the gut feeling Scott usually operated at. And Liam too.

Even Lexi evaluated him as too sarcastic for his own good. If Cora was there, she would stop him from mortally offending all kinds of people just by few words he couldn’t hold in his mouth. But not Liam. Sure, he sometimes made a face, but usually just snickered and backed him up and… Scott liked it.

***

“I wouldn’t mind living on Eos.”

“Really, here?” Scott snorted, dangling his feet in the air, and Liam next to him shrugged. The light was slowly dimming from the horizon and the blinking hue of Prodromos under them felt sort of soothing.

“It’s calm now but still proves a challenge,” Liam elaborated, looking down on the outpost. “You never thought of settling down once this all is over?”

“What’s this all?” Scott tilted his head to the side. “You really think Addison will give me a rest at any point of my Pathfinder job? Even after hundreds of outposts she will still ride me like a prostitute.”

“Now that’s a mental picture I didn’t need,” Liam groaned but when Scott laughed, he joined him.

“Not to mention,” Scott pointed out bitterly. “The last time I checked my employee data on Nexus said my paid vacation is in 587 days.”

“Dude, that sucks,” Liam nudged him with a snort. “But hey, at least at some point you’re getting paid. Cuz we sure don’t get paid now.”

“We should probably riot,” Scott suggested and when Liam chuckled, he lay down on the dry, cracked ground and took a deep breath. The air on this planet finally smelled somehow right. “Thanks, Liam.”

“Hm?” the man glanced back at him, a small smile playing on his lips. “For dragging you out today?”

“For being you.”

What I’d even do here without you, I wonder.

***

The Archon’s ship was an absolute and total disaster. Except of the data about Meridian, all the rest just… blew it. Scott still couldn’t wrap his head around it, the consequences were coming to him slowly, creeping into his thoughts and under his eyelids when he closed his eyes.

They got the data. They lost Raeka. They saved the Krogan scouts. Scott died.

He… died. Again. Lexi was livid, she almost hit him over his head, especially when he tried to turn it into a joke. Everybody was tense and tiptoed around him, and he felt nothing. He should have been scared, right? He should have feared the power SAM had over his body. But he did not – it was like pressing a button and having game over before reloading to the last check point.

It wasn’t such a big deal, was it?

“I don’t remember hurting all over when I died for the first time, geez-,”

“Scott, this is not funny!”

He stopped, momentarily stunned by the raised voice Liam used, and turned back towards him. He looked angry – no, more like furious. He still had the armour on, like he had been trying to breathe it out until now without luck, and Scott probably never saw him this angry. Not even when they went for Verand and Liam had a fit there – no. This was over the top.

“You can’t treat this shit like some circus attraction, for fuck’s sake!” the raised voice remained and Scott felt himself gasping for air, even though he didn’t even send the signal to his brain for it. “What were you even thinking?! You can’t switch yourself on and off like a goddamn machine!”

“Oi,” Scott stopped him with a frown. “Are you for real here?”

“You died!” Liam hissed like he took a mortal offense in that and Scott seriously didn’t understand. “Such a stupid-,”

“Choose your words carefully, Liam,” Scott barked, cutting the man short. “Very carefully here.”

Liam deflated a little, visibly so, but the gleam in his eyes remained and Scott just didn’t have any strength left to play it nice. He was tired, he hurt everywhere and all the shit he got from all sides were beating him up to the pulp.

“Do you think I like dying all over again?” he breathed out, and it sounded angrier than he thought it would. “What else should have I done? Leave us there, let Archon take us as a fucking test subjects or exalt us? I. Made. My. Choice.”

“That-,”

“Nobody got hurt!” Scott interrupted whatever Liam wanted to say and his voice echoed through his cabin like a thunder.

“You did!” Liam returned the shout-fest unhappily and groaned. “Scott, you have to realize-,”

“No, I did my job,” he stopped Liam again, this time in almost too quiet voice. “And I’m used to people giving me shit about it. I really am. I just didn’t think I’d get it from you too.”

“Scott-,”

“Go.”

“Scott,” Liam took a step forward, but Scott put up a hand.

“Go, Liam.”

The swishing of the cabin doors sounded like an ultimatum at that time.

***

KOSTA.L >>> I wasn’t giving you shit about doing your job.

RYDER.S <<< I’m not going to talk about it.

KOSTA.L >>> Look, you gotta realize you may be fine with switching yourself off and on, but you don’t need to watch it.

RYDER.S <<< Seriously? I’m dead but should be grateful I’m on the audience end? Really???

KOSTA.L >>> Imagine watching Sara die, ffs.

RYDER.S <<< What’s your damn point, Kosta?

KOSTA.L >>> Nothing. I guess. Forget it.

RYDER.S <<< WHAT’S YOUR DAMN POINT!

“For fuck’s sake, this guy,” Scott growled when no answer came and the indicator showed that Liam closed the channel. “I can’t have one day without a drama here. SAM!”

“Yes, Pathfinder?” At least SAM’s voice was calm like always.

“Where is Liam? On the ship, I mean.”

“Cargo bay, Pathfinder.”

Naturally.

It probably wasn’t the wisest decision Scott could have made – he knew very well trying to solve things when angry resulted only in even worse outcomes, from experience. Not only it worked that way in his family (he remembered how him and Sara always fought and neither of them wanted to back down when their blood was boiling, so the clashes were terrible, especially when they were around 15 years old), but in Andromeda it served just as well.

The knowledge itself wasn’t enough to stop him though and his legs still carried him towards the cargo bay like a missile. When the door to the Liam’s hideout opened with a soft swoosh, Scott was already reaching his boiling point.

Liam looked startled for a second, but recovered fairly fast, putting the data pad he had been holding back on the table.

“Wouldn’t think it would make you come here just to demand an explanation,” he stated and Scott growled in the back of his throat. No matter how tired he was, the adrenaline probably kicked him back into action without questions. “Which I was trying to give to you twice and you didn’t listen.”

“So far all you said was a bag of dicks,” Scott uttered and refused to listen to the impulse to come closer to the man. He would probably punch him for another weird remark about audience. His only luck was there had been a couch and a table between them. “And trust me, I’d leave you to your moping, but I need you ready. So let’s talk it out.”

“I’m not moping,” Liam opposed and his calm made Scott even angrier. “And I’ll deal.”

“Liam, spill the beans,” Scott urged him impatiently. “If you have a problem with how I handle things-,”

“No,” Liam stopped him with a sigh. “I respect your decisions. This whole shitstorm… look. I watched you die twice. One more time and I’ll call the hierarchy for an emotional abuse.”

“Again with the dying?”

“What if next time you decide it’s no biggie to die you won’t come back?” there was a weird strain in Liam’s voice now. “It took SAM several tries to bring you back.”

“Well-,”

“What if next time it won’t work at all?”

“Are you worried about me?” It came to Scott suddenly when he noticed the tired eyes Liam had, and the restless posture he sported when usually he was like a statue, calm and composed.

“Yes!” the answer came in a short burst and then Liam was moving, circling the table and the couch so he could stand in front of Scott, his shoulders stiff and eyes intense. “My god, do you think I’d claw the roof if I wasn’t?!”

“Well, you were always bit of a social justice warrior…” Scott trailed off and almost jumped out of his skin when Liam’s hands squeezed his face between them, forcing him to looks straight into Liam’s eyes. Very furious, very deep brown eyes that seemed to want something.

“Scott, you have to promise me you won’t do this ever again. Please,” Liam said, his voice low, and Scott felt his heartbeat quicken.

“Pathfinder, your heart rate sped up, do you want me to alert Dr. T’Perro?”

“Not now, SAM,” Scott hissed. He could feel the pulse in his head, quick and a little panicked, but definitely not dangerous. He was alive at least, and it probably made Liam to think this too, because his hands dropped to the sides of Scott’s neck like he was checking for it.

“That’s some crazy beat though,” Liam mumbled, his thumb brushing against Scott’s pulse point, and it sent shivers down Scott’s spine. “For me?”

“No, the guy behind you, smartass,” Scott grumbled and it made Liam chuckle, finally looking more relaxed. The touch stayed though. “So are you going to kiss me or do we stand here for a while longer like two bros?”

This time Liam barked out a laugh and let go, leaving Scott with a rather disappointing bitterness on the tip of his tongue. Well, he was never really good at guessing people’s intentions – or orientation on that matter, so maybe it shouldn’t have been such a surprise.

“Like two bros he says,” he heard the man chuckling and realized he had been cleaning up the sofa from all the armour parts he apparently threw at it before. When the place was empty, he turned back to Scott and offered his hand.

“Uh,” Scott looked at the hand, then at the couch and back at the hand again. “This is not an invitation to build a pillow fort, is it?”

“No pillows,” Liam stated if it wasn’t obvious enough. “I’m not going to ravish you either.”

“Damn, wrong door then,” Scott mockingly took a step back and Liam stepped closer instead, still playing the game. When his invitation wasn’t withdrawn even at that point, Scott took a hold of the hand and let Liam pull him back towards the couch where he sat down and dragged Scott atop of him without any effort, locking his hands on the small of Scott’s back.

“There,” he said victoriously. “Comfortable, bro?”

“Jesus,” Scott rolled his eyes, but laughed anyway. Liam was solid and warm and it was seriously too easy to just dip his head and capture the inviting lips in a kiss.

***

KOSTA.L >>> What else did you think I was? Just nagging you for the sport of it?

RYDER.S <<< I’m used to people nagging me for the sport of it. I learned I’m an easy target for that.

KOSTA.L >>> Seriously, Scott?

RYDER.S <<< I already promised I won’t do it again. I’m sure an emotional abuse would look really bad in my file.

KOSTA.L >>> As if you ever cared what’s in your file. But what I mean by all this – don’t do it again. Please.

RYDER.S <<< Hm.

KOSTA.L >>> What?

RYDER.S <<< Never thought you’re a type to beg, Kosta.

KOSTA.L >>> You don’t know lots of things about me yet, Ryder.

RYDER.S <<< Yet, huh.

KOSTA.L >>> Yeah. But to know me better is your own choice. Just saying I’m willing to share.

RYDER.S <<< I am, um. Willing. To share stuff too.

KOSTA.L >>> To share stuff…

RYDER.S <<< Don’t make fun of me. I’m very sensitive.

KOSTA.L >>> You?

RYDER.S <<< I was the girl in the family, ask Sara.

KOSTA.L >>> Pfff. Go to sleep, Scott.

RYDER.S <<< Oh well, if you insist.

He was tempted to write come give me a good night kiss, but stopped himself in the middle of it. He wasn’t sure if Liam would really deliver in this case, but he could always dream.

***

KOSTA.L >>> How is it going over there?

RYDER.S <<< Depends.

KOSTA.L >>> On?

RYDER.S <<< Do you think Salarian’s neck are easily breakable?

KOSTA.L >>> Tann?

RYDER.S <<< He looks very breakable. But also a little too rubbery. Maybe he’d just stretch to infinity. That would be a bummer, he’d be everywhere.

KOSTA.L >>> Thank you for that eerie mental image.

RYDER.S <<< You’re welcome, I don’t like to suffer alone. At least the rest of Pathfinders is here as well.

KOSTA.L >>> They good?

RYDER.S <<< Pretty solid. Damn the flex Avitus is doing sometimes…

KOSTA.L >>> I mean mentally good. Jesus.

RYDER.S <<< Nothing bad with a nice Turian flex, Kosta.

KOSTA.L >>> Remind me why do I like you again?

RYDER.S <<< Oho. You like me? Now that’s news.

KOSTA.L >>> News, really.

RYDER.S <<< I’m shocked beyond comprehension.

KOSTA.L >>> I think I’ve changed my mind.

RYDER.S <<< From my point of view you probably never really liked me anyway, you just thought it would be fun to rile me up.

KOSTA.L >>> I do think it would be fun to rile you up.

RYDER.S <<< I see right through you.

KOSTA.L >>> Cute.

RYDER.S <<< Always.

“Ryder, if you can please focus,” Tann’s voice made him look up, just to realize everybody had been staring at him.

“Sorry,” he closed the private channel and cleared his throat. “So, the Meridian?”

***

„Cutting the convo in the middle, you have no manners.”

Scott smirked, turning towards the voice coming from behind him. Liam was standing there with a data pad, looking pretty civil, like he was waiting for Scott to get back. It was kind of… sweet.

“Tann was onto me,” Scott offered. “Didn’t want to end up without a data pad and standing in a corner like in school while others would say oh yeah, Ryder, the troublemaker.”

“True, true,” Liam chuckled. “I hope Tann survived?”

“You hope?” Scott crossed his arms on his chest. “Shouldn’t you be supporting me more?”

“That’s why I hope Tann survived,” Liam opposed with a small laugh. “If they put you in jail I wouldn’t be able to support you, would I?”

“You disappoint me.”

“No rasper would help you out, man,” Liam took several steps back, breaching Scott’s personal space with a smile. It made his heart race. “Unless you’d need it for your nails, to look pretty.”

“I always look pretty, Kosta,” Scott countered with a smirk but couldn’t tell anything else, since Liam seized his face in his hands and smooched him right where he stood, almost too gently.

“Yes,” he heard the man whisper to his lips. “Yes, you do.”

Scott was pretty sure the life in Andromeda was going to be awesome.

[mavengers]

If Peggy Carter was alive for Civil War:

Peggy Carter x Steve Rogers x Tony Stark

Warnings: swearing, fluff, death, mentions of the Sokovia Accords (duh)

Words: 2.8k

All credit goes to Marvel.

A/N: This idea is all thanks to @mamalaz and her post about how Civil War would’ve gone if Peggy Carter was alive and I’m also tagging @jamesbarnesblog and @cartersbarnes

I hope this does justice and #peggydeservedbetter

The normal hustle and bustle of SHIELD instantly silenced as Peggy walked in towards her desk. Everybody’s eyes followed her and as she finally reached her destination, she turned to everyone, clearing her throat. “We have work to do, people, so if you plan on oggling me all day, I suggest you quit before you’re forcefully fired.” As she went to sit, another, lower agent raised his hand to speak.

“Ms. Carter, Howard Stark requested to speak to you first thing in the morning.”

“Right,” she breathed. “Well get back to work, people.” She left the room, turning down the many halls as agents ran up next to her, desperately asking her questions about missions, assignments, and about how her morning was.

She stepped into the lab where Howard and many other scientists were gathered around a screen. Clearing her throat, she managed to steal their attention from whatever they were looking at. “Peggy, darling! Sweetheart, how was your morning?” He approached her quickly, going for a hug before she halted his advances.

“Cut it out, Stark, what is it?” He looked nervously back and forth between the scientists who averted their gaze from the situation.

“Look, this is very sensitive situation and it may be an absolute shot in the dark-.”

“Stark.”

“We think Steve may be alive. Well, sorta,” Peggy’s eyes widened and her lips parted in shock. “If he landed the jet in any ocean or ice, he may have slipped into cryogenic sleep which can slow all of his bodily functions down enough to prevent him from dying or maybe even aging. For all we know, he may look the same as he did before the crash.”

“So why aren’t we going to find him right now? What are you waiting for?” Now that she knew there was a chance Steve was alive, she would refuse to rest until she had him back.

“Peg, there’s still thousands of miles of ice and ocean to search, we don’t know how long it would take before we found a solid lead.” Peggy deflated at the thought that now she would have to wait. Then she got an idea, albeit a crazy one.

“Why not put me in cryogenic sleep? Howard, I love him. I want to be with him. I know we can find Dr. Erskine’s notes and just give me the smallest dose to make sure I can survive it. If it’s only going to be a couple years, I can do it,” Howard was apprehensive, but the death grip Peggy had on his forearm and the desperation in her eyes was enough to have him seriously consider this.

“Peggy, if I help you with this, you have to know what you could possibly be leaving behind-.” Peggy cut him off.

“Howard, I need him.”

That very evening, her, Howard, and the rest of the Howling Commandos broke into the infamous bunker where Steve Rogers would become Steve Rogers. The group scowered the place for any of Dr. Erskine’s notes. Hours must’ve passed, before Howard leaned back on his haunches after crawling under trap floorboards. “Peg, you gotta see this.”

She ran over from her spot at the control board and peeked over Howard’s shoulder. Written in almost chicken scratch, was the exact Super Soldier serum used on Steve. “I’ll get this to the lab first thing in the morning.” He breathed out, looking at her.

It was only three days later that Peggy sat on a hospital bed near a cryogenic chamber that Howard had engineered. Vitals were done on her after she had been injected with a small dose of the serum and she would stay hooked up to many machines to monitor her. If one of her vital signs began to shake, she would be pulled out. Peg had spent the previous night writing down reasons to temporarily pull her out before Steve was found. She wasn’t sure how long she’d be asleep so she made sure to write “for the birth of Howard’s children, if he ever decides to settle down,” and “for the funeral for Howard Stark”. Everything on this project, titled “Project JULIET.”, would only be given to the top SHIELD officials to come. “Are you sure you want to do this? It’s not too late to back out, Pegs.” Howard took her hands in his, looking at her with pure desperation for her to speak up and say that she changed her mind. But Peggy Carter was a tough woman, she never went back on her word.

“I’ll be fine. I trust that you and SHIELD will take care of me.” She leaned over from her spot on the bed and gave Howard a kiss on the cheek. He sighed, playing with the pen in his hand. He helped her up, leading her into the cryo chamber. He looked at her one more time, waiting for her to confirm for the thousandth time that this is what she wanted. When she nodded, he sighed again.

“Alright, Project JULIET is a go in 5... 4... 3... 2... see ya later, Pegs.” He gave her one last smile as the chamber door closed, and quickly began to freeze over.

Many, many years passed before the chamber door would open again. Except this time, Howard had gray hair, but he was smiling nonetheless. “Welcome back, Pegs. The year is 1970, and there’s someone I’d like you to meet. He’s no Steve, but I feel you’ll like him just the same.” Peggy’s cheeks were flushed from the harsh difference in air temperature. The room she was in was warm and Howard hardly had given her time to let the fact that it had been nearly 25 years since she was put in ice in 1945. She stumbled out on weak legs before Howard realized, and came back to help support her.

He led her to a small room, which she remembered as the director’s office, but was now seemingly used as a nursery. A woman sat in a rocking chair, cradling a baby against her, feeding him with a bottle. “Pegs, this is my wife, Maria,” he led her closer to the couple, before gesturing at the baby. “And this is my son, Tony.”

“Howard, his name is Anthony,” she turned her attention to Peggy. “He thinks Tony sounds more like a ladies’ man’s name.”

“Well, he is a Stark.” Howard joked. Maria smiled as she stood up, gesturing for Peggy to sit. She did and she held her arms out as she was handed Tony. She smiled dearly at Tony before smiling up at Howard and Maria.

“He’s lovely.” She said truthfully. Maria smiled before going towards the door.

“I’ll let you two talk.” Maria said, before opening the door and letting herself out. Howard pulled a stool out from underneath a counter top, before situating himself in front of Peggy. She looked up at him as she rocked back and forth in the chair, effectively lulling the youngest Stark to sleep.

“Peg, there’s something I want to ask you before you go back under,” she nodded, urging him to continue. “I know we haven’t found Steve yet, and I’m keeping to my promise of searching for him until the day I die. But,” he paused, seeming to gather his thoughts. “If I do pass before Tony turns 18, I want you to be his godmother. And when he’s ready, he can send you back into cryo. Hopefully he will take over looking for Steve. Could you do that for me, Peggy?” She gaped at him. Sure, Peggy and Howard were close, but she never pictured him asking her such a thing. Her gaze flickered down to Tony in her arms.

“Howard, it’d be an honor. I’ll protect him with my life if it comes down to it. I’d do the same for you.” Howard took her hand in his, giving her a genuine smile that only solidified their friendship more.

The next time Peggy was woken up, she was sure it was because they’d found Steve. However, it wasn’t Howard waiting for her when the door opened. Instead, a black man in a suit stood outside. “Ms. Carter, I’m Director Nick Fury of SHIELD. I’m here to awaken you from cryogenic sleep and inform you of the unfortunate and untimely death of both Howard and Maria Stark.” The world went sideways and Peggy already felt dizzy, wanting nothing more than to climb back inside the chamber and be put under again, until she remembered something.

“Nick, what year is it?”

“1991.”

“And where’s Tony? Is he okay? He must be 21 now, correct?” She asked. She was his godmother. Sure, he was over 18 and could legally take care of himself now, but legally and as a debt to Howard, he was now her responsibility.

“Correct. He still lives in their home. But okay isn’t the word I would use for how he’s doing.”

“Can I see him?” Peggy asked. Nick nodded.

“He requested it.”

“So you’re my Aunt Peggy? That’s what he always called you.”

“I suppose so,” she extended her hand for a shake, but put it down when he seemed to refuse. “It’s nice to officially meet you, Tony, I haven’t seen you since you were only a few months old. You’ve seemed to have turned into a wonderful young man.” Peggy said.

“Well, my father seemed to think otherwise. He only saw me as a boy with eyes for only women.” Tony said stiffly. Peggy couldn’t help but laugh and Tony looked at her incredulously.

“I’m sorry, your father saw you as someone with eyes for only women? He was the exact same way before your mother. Quite frankly, I don’t remember him ever having a relationship for more than a week with a woman.” At this, Tony cracked a smile.

“So you’re going back into cryogenic sleep until they find Rogers? Don’t you think it’s a bit crazy?” He asked. Peggy shrugged.

“He would’ve done it for me. Besides, everything in this world is crazy, what’s one more thing?” They sat together in silence for a little while. The funeral had just finished up and now they were at a café down the street where Tony wanted to show her that even coffee had come a long way since the 1940s.

“I won’t lie to you, I always felt like I came second to Rogers. Dad always talked about how great he was. He never really seemed all that proud of me.”

“Well, I’ll be honest, I think some of that may have been my fault. Your dad approached me one day, and he told me that he believed Steve was alive. When he put me into cryo, he promised me that he wouldn’t stop looking for Steve until the day he died. In turn, I vowed to be your godmother, and to protect you with my life if something happened to him before you turned 18. I still would.” She said, sipping at her latte.

“I’ll find him for you.” Tony said. Peggy looked at him with wide eyes, in disbelief that he would do such a thing for her after feeling like he was in the shadows of this man his entire life. Before Peggy could even utter a thank you, Tony brought her in for a tight hug and she briefly wondered if this was to make up for the last hug that he could’ve given his father.

Peggy next woke up to a blinding light, and for a second she thought she was dying. Then she knew she must be dying because a much older Tony Stark stood in front of her with a much younger looking Steve Rogers behind him. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help the smile taking over her features. First to approach was Steve who instantly swept her into a hug so tight that if he cut off her airways, she’d be okay because at least he was the one doing it and at least it was out of love.

When Steve reluctantly pulled away from her, her eyes fell back on Tony. “Tony, you look so… old.” She said. Steve bit his lip to suppress the laugh coming up and Tony rolled his eyes.

“Nice to see you, too, Aunt Peg. Oh, but look at the time, back under you go.” He jokingly walked her back over to the gas chamber and she shoved his arm as she laughed.

“My goodness, what year is it?”

“2011.” The two men said in unison.

By 2016, Peggy had already taken over running SHIELD once more and worked side by side with Nick Fury and Maria Hill. She was there for the battle of Sokovia, the battle of New York, Ultron’s first appearance, the convergence, and would you look at that, the Sokovia Accords.

Now Peggy stood tall and strong at the head of a conference table, Tony and Steve on each side. Tony sat in the chair closest to her and Steve sat in the back, arms crossed over his chest. “Well you better get comfortable, boys, we’re not leaving this room until you talk it out,” yet still the men sat silent and stubborn like two children who had just argued over the last fruit roll-up. “Now, one of you should start before I lose my temper and knock both your heads together.”

“Peg, there’s nothing to talk about.” Steve sighed, pressing his fingers to his temples to relieve the headache that this scenario had brought on.

“Well, are you signing?” She asked, hands on her hips.

“No, but-.”

“Then there’s plenty to talk about!” Peggy removed her hands from her hips and placed them on the edge of the table, leaning forward.

“I already said that if we sign these accords, we surrender our right to choose where we go. What if we have another Ultron incident and they decide that the lives of innocent people are safer in the military’s hands than ours?”

“You’re always so dramatic,” Peggy said after a long pause. She shook her head out as she stood up and froze when she heard Tony laugh. “Quiet, Anthony, you’re as big a pain in my ass as your father was.” Then it was Steve’s turn to laugh, but her icy glare stopped him. Before Peggy could go on to speak again, Vision entered the room. Entered- as in floating through the glass wall opposed to the open door right next to it.

“Mr. Stark, Secretary Ross wishes to speak with you urgently.” Tony nodded, standing up. As he went to walk out, he patted Peggy’s shoulder.

“You talk some sense into him, Aunt Pegs, while I’m gone.” She rolled her eyes at him and as the door closed, she approached Steve and rested her back against the edge of the table in front of him.

“You agree with him.” He said. It wasn’t in an accusatory way by any means, but it was laced with resignation. Peggy placed her hand on top of Steve’s.

“I do. But I also see where your heart is,” he nodded, still looking down at his lap. She tilted his head to look at her with her other hand. “Steve, the world we grew up in is different now. Maybe instead of trying to fight, we actually try to live a life.”

“And you think the Sokovia Accords will give us the happy medium?” Instead of answering, Peggy pulled him up from his seat, pulling him flush against her as she laced their hands together.

“FRIDAY, play us a song, please.” A soft ballad began flowing through the speakers and Steve smiled as he adjusted his posture to better fit hers. His hand went to rest on the small of her back and the other grasped hers in the palm of his own. She rested her head against his chest, feeling the warmth radiating off of him and listening to his strong heartbeat. “You’ve got something good here, Steve. Don’t let something like this tear you guys apart,” when Steve stayed silent, she continued. “Over half of our lives have been spent in ice or fighting. You can relax now, Steve. This is our time.”

“Ultron was right, all those years ago- that I pretend I could live without a war. I feel like I’m still making up for all the times I was rejected from the military.”

“Well I certainly think you’ve proved yourself enough to allow yourself to step back from the fight,” Peggy pulled back from his chest and Steve looked at the ground. “Signing the accords is the only way to keep the Avengers together. Signing them doesn’t mean you’re giving up the fight.” Finally looking up at her, he leaned down to press a long kiss to her lips that they both allowed themselves to melt into.

“I’ve missed you, Pegs.” He said when they parted, resting his forehead against hers.

“I’ve missed you too, now keep dancing with me. You owe me 67 years’ worth of this.”

[technologyasyouwish-blog]

Ten Things I Wish I Knew When I Started 'Mass Effect: Andromeda'

This week has been interesting. This is probably the most hours per day I have ever put into a game in order to hit an embargo in such a short time span. I woke up every day at 6 AM, started up Mass Effect: Andromeda, and played for 10 or 11 hours straight. 60 hours of the campaign later, plus some multiplayer, and here I am.

My official scored review went up yesterday, which is 3,400 words of detailed thoughts and opinions about the game. I suggest you go and read that if you want my full analysis, as today, launch day, I have a different task: To impart some practical wisdom from all that time spent with the game.

This is a game where you’re going to want to know a few things up front to help with your experience, so hopefully my advice will be useful. Here are ten things I wish I knew before I started Mass Effect: Andromeda. No story spoilers follow.

1. Don't Use Default Sarah Ryder

All anyone can talk about in the run-up to the release of Mass Effect: Andromeda has been the often awkward animations with human characters. While this is something of an issue, and I do wish more improvement had been made in the last five years, it does not define the experience. One thing I would recommend, however, is not using the game’s default Sarah Ryder model.

While Scott Ryder is a perfectly normal pre-rendered face, something is just off about Sarah Ryder’s visage. It’s based on a real-life model, but something got lost in translation, and it just does not look right in the game. A lot of the early game footage you’ve seen has her talking and it just looks uncomfortable. If you want to play female Ryder (as I did), I would definitely design your own rather than using Sarah. I spent a decent amount of time making my Ryder look acceptable, and lo and behold, that does translate into the game itself. While there are animation issues elsewhere in the game, I found that my custom Ryder never looked as strange as Sarah Ryder has in all these previews. Not to say whoever you make has to be some supermodel, but Sarah is not the ideal face for this game purely from an animation perspective, so I would suggest forging your own path in that regard.

2. Don't Quit After The First Two Planets

I said this in both my early preview and my review, but Andromeda does a very poor job introducing players to the new open world concept because of how bad the first two planets are. Eos is a radioactive wasteland that throws up invisible walls in the form of a toxic environment when you stray too far. Havarl is a confusing mess of a jungle planet where you cannot even use your car, and fighting enemies you can’t even see through overgrown shrubbery is a nightmare.

I’m here to say it gets better. Without getting into specifics, you’re able to make Eos a lot more friendly to exploration as the zone expands dramatically in size with its toxic barriers lifted. And the last three planets you find, Voeld, Kadara and Eladeen, are without a doubt the game’s strongest environments, both in terms of their visuals, and how fun they are to navigate. There’s also a bonus planet you’ll find later that’s the most fun to drive around by far, but I’ll leave that one a surprise. My point is that even if you think Andromeda has made a serious mistake going open world judging by the first two planets (which is exactly what I thought), power through and get to the other environments, which are way better.

3. Turn The Nomad Into The Mako As Soon As Possible

Part of how much you’re going to enjoy the open world is how much you enjoy driving around your Nomad, and for reasons that remain unclear to me, the vehicle is designed to make you hate it when you first start using it. It’s slow, sluggish and can barely navigate even the most basic of terrain like mild slopes.

You have the power to change this, and upgrade the Nomad into something more accurately resembling the Mako from the original Mass Effect. In order, the upgrades you should research in implement are six-wheel drive, which lets you climb slopes faster, a longer boost capability, better top speed, and a longer hover capability. Combine those together and you can race up pretty much every cliff in the game and get hang time over sand dunes and mountains alike. These upgrades were the key to enjoying navigating these planets, so get them as soon as you can. They’ll be in your R&D station, and new ones are added as time goes on or you find/buy more.

4. Invest In The Cache Finding Upgrade

As you play, you will get points to invest in the Nexus, unlocking different “cryo pods” that give you passive bonuses in the game, rather than specific bonuses to your character like the R&D system. A few of these are useful, like getting materials and such delivered to you regularly, but I would only deem one upgrade absolutely essential: the cache finder.

This upgrade will put a smattering of treasure chests across any planet you explore. These chests are in such remote locations most of the time, you would usually never find them without this upgrade, and they often contain very valuable gear that would have been much harder to find, craft or purchase otherwise. These caches will scale to your level, so don’t hunt them down all at once, and spread them out over the course of the game.

5. Here's How The Ridiculously Confusing Crafting System Works

I really, really hate the crafting system in this game, but by the end I mostly have it figured out. It’s convoluted and awful, but it can be used to make the best items in the game. Here’s what you need to know.

   The Research half of crafting uses three types of tech, Milky Way, Kett and Remnant. You get points in this tech for scanning objects in the wild. Everywhere you go, always check with your scanner to see if there’s something to add. If so, it will glow. Scan every type of enemy you come across as well, living or dead. Your controller will rumble if you’re by something very valuable to scan, but ABS – always be scanning.    You have to research each level of an item, and there are 10 levels of every item, not just five the way it initially appears. The problem with this system is that even if you have a lot of scanning currency, you will use up almost all of it on just a few items per class if you’re researching upgraded versions of items. Pick your favorites, and stick with them.    Do not bother researching N7 armor. It will obviously be attractive, but eventually you unlock a Nexus perk for vendors who will sell more “special gear,” and guess what? A full N7 set is part of the product line. I wasted probably 1,200 Milky Way research credits on this.    You can add mods to weapons and armor as you craft them, which will give you innate bonuses. But when you upgrade to the next level of an item, those bonuses are gone, right? No. The game does not explain this at all, but you can dismantle your old crafted item and get all those mods back for future use. You only get a fraction of the minerals and materials, but all the mods should come back. It is crazy this isn’t made clear.

That should get you started. I hate this system but focusing on a few specific weapons, I did manage to craft some pretty great stuff by the end of the game.

6. Squadmates You Don't Like At Hour Three You May Love By Hour Thirty

I’m going to take a guess and say that many of the characters, particularly the crew members, you meet in Mass Effect: Andromeda you won’t take to right away. I felt this way about the initial two squadmates the game gave me, Liam and Cora, and then I thought that the hyper Asari Peebee was going to annoy me all game. That was true at first, but you have to give them a chance.

Having conversations with everyone, taking them on missions, and doing their loyalty quests will make you bond with them. Liam and Cora became two of my best buds on the ship, and Peebee uh, well let’s just say we became more than friends, even though my original intention was to romance my science officer Suvi. I just spent so much time with Peebee that I liked her, and it seemed like the right path. These kinds of relationships take dozens of hours to develop, so don’t expect to love everyone right away.

Also, side note. At a certain point, your romantic “choice” seems to be permanent. While I could flirt with everyone for a long time, once Peebee and I declared we wanted to be “exclusive,” I no longer even had the option to flirt with anyone else in conversation. So if you’re presented with that sort of ultimatum by whoever you’re romancing, know that’s what it probably means. But yes, I know there is a way to have a three-way in this game, but you can find that on your own.

7. Loot Containers Are Very Easy To Miss

One thing I don’t really get about Andromeda is its desire to hide loot containers from players. Many games will highlight them either on a minimap or in the environment, but Andromeda does neither so they are incredibly easy to overlook.

One problem is that pretty much any shape in the environment can be a loot container, so you have to wander around pretty close to almost everything to see if you get a prompt to open it. Some containers have a light blue shading that highlights them a bit but many don’t and it’s often hard to see. Scanning does not reveal containers either.

Nearly all landmarks will have at least one “big” chest with more stuff in it, so don’t leave until you find it. Cleared landmarks with no more stuff to get in them will turn blue on your map, but I swear sometimes I couldn’t figure out what I was missing. Also, at the end of story missions during boss fights, look around for a big loot container that will usually have a hefty prize in it. I am positive I missed quite a few of these during my first few missions before I figured this out.

8. You Can Save Preset Skill/Specialty Loadouts

Combat is a lot of fun in Mass Effect: Andromeda, and it’s made even more fun by its flexibility. It took me a while to figure this out, but you can actually save up to four preset power/class loadouts for your character in the skills screen. This will save the three powers you’re using and their assigned buttons, but also your class. Unlike past ME games, you can actually switch classes on the fly, based on how many points you’ve sunk into Combat, Tech or Biotics. For example, I had a hybrid Biotic/Combat build which let me pick between Soldier, Adept or Vanguard classes that I could flip between. Pick your skills and your class and even in the middle of combat you can totally change your play style.

9. Shotguns Are Stupidly Overpowered

I would rarely call for something to be nerfed in a PvE game like Andromeda, but by the end, the damage imbalance between my shotguns and everything else I was using was absolutely crazy. If you have even a halfway decent sustain build (like mine, which focused on shields), you can shred pretty much every single enemy in the game with nonstop shotgun blasts. At first, shotguns are limited by their small ammo pool, but upgrades and skills fix that, and it got to the point where if I felt like if I was using anything else, I was just being inefficient. If you don’t know where to sink combat points, you really cannot go wrong with shotguns.

10. You Can Keep Playing Normally After The Story Ends

I am certainly not going to get into ending spoilers here, but in a game like Mass Effect, players are going to want to know if there’s a hard or soft ending -- meaning if they beat the game, if they can keep playing and do the stuff they missed. The answer is definitely yes.

The ending of Andromeda is structured that you can not only keep playing the game and doing missions you missed with no penalty, but it’s not even one of those situations where you’re playing in the final save point before being told to go to the last mission. No, the main storyline can end and you are free to keep doing stuff.

With that said, if you want to be safe, you may want to consider doing at least your crew’s loyalty missions and the main planetary story missions before the last few missions. I do not actually know if there’s a downside to not doing that, but that’s been the case in past games, so it’s possible you might be risking something here. But since I did them, I can’t say for sure what happens if you don’t. But yeah, the point is don’t worry about finishing every little thing before the end, which is what I did. It isn’t necessary.

Alright, that’s all the advice I have for now. I may be back with more, but that should be enough to get you started. Happy exploring, and enjoy.

[sometimesrosy]

Into Eden, chapt 3; It Was Fake

Into Eden

rosymamacita

Chapter 3 READ On AO3

This mail order bride thing was an uneasy partnership. Keeping it just business should have made it easier. But Bellamy still thought she was a princess and he was somehow lower than her. A slave even. And everything was complicated by the fact that Clarke was very attracted to him. He was her husband. But he wasn't.

Maybe they could find some sort of balance where everyone got what they needed.

Fake. It was fake.

Clarke was worried that after only two weeks pretending to be a long term mated pair with her husband, whom she’d just met, JUST MET, she was having a hard time remembering that she wasn’t planning any happily ever after with him. She was having a hard time remembering that it wasn’t REAL.

It was horrible. It was unexpected. It was against her will. It was STUPID.

She kept trying to tell herself that. She kept reminding herself that it had only been a few weeks since she was with Lexa. Although when she thought about it, the tail end of her year long relationship with Lexa had not been all that loving, or happy, or connected. Lexa had never understood her grief over her father’s death and had wanted her to just get past it. Their relationship had started out passionate, needy even, but just gotten more political and resentful as time went on. Lexa didn’t like the time that Clarke’s career as a medical researcher took and thought she should quit. She called her naive when she disagreed. And when she’d said they should get married, she hadn’t even asked. She just declared it.

She liked that Clarke was the daughter of Chancellor Griffin from Alpha Station, with whom she she very much wanted to be allied. It would be advantageous for everyone. But Clarke disliked all the station politics and jockeying for power and alliance, always had. And she hated it more after her father was killed two years ago, for doing what was right, not what was political. It all made her wonder if Lexa ever really loved her at all, or if she’d just wanted her for her political power.

Clarke wasn’t even sure she believed in love anymore, that’s why this business arrangement had seemed so much better. No politics. No love. Just a marriage for convenience sake.

She tried to tell herself that at least they were honest and they had both agreed and they both knew that it was in name only. They were… business partners.

And, as he kept reminding her, she was the one in charge, so it wasn’t really a business PARTNERSHIP so much as she was the boss, and he was, kind of, her employee.

“You might call me a slave,” he said. She’d gaped at him. It was after a formal dinner and he threw off his tuxedo jacket in anger. He hadn’t liked sitting in that room of dignitaries and wealthy, smug colonists, pretending to be one of them, letting her hang onto his elbow and look up at him adoringly. Fake adoration. It wasn’t hard to stare at his beauty, but she was under no illusions. It was not love.

“You’re not a slave. We’re married. It’s a partnership.” No matter his beauty. And that wouldn’t influence her at all.

“You bought me. I’m a slave.” He glared at her darkly and damned if that didn’t make him more attractive. It was simply outrageous.

She wanted to yell at him, but he just kept stripping. First the tie that he’d been complaining about, then the shirt with all its complicated buttons. He was down to bare chest and starting on his pants when she turned around and hid her face in her own wardrobe. “We agreed to this. You agreed to this. We both wanted to get to Eden Colony,” she said, and her voice wasn’t strangled with lust or emotion or whatever. It was frustration. With him! Not her feelings. “We’re both getting something out of it. You get the free trip. I get to bypass the stupid rules.”

“Yeah, but you don’t get to bypass them, do you. We still have to be married.”

“In name only.”

“We still have to live together.”

“I’ve got the plans for our homestead. It’s required we share a dwelling, but I’m constructing a dwelling with two separate apartments. We’ll be more like neighbors, once we get out to the claim. And the nearest town is an hour away so there’s no one to call us on our separate living arrangements. We’ll be fine.”

“You have the resources to build a house with an extra apartment, all so that you don’t have to live with me?”

She didn’t know why the question made her heart skip. She pushed it aside. “I spent ALL my money, Bellamy. I was going to get what we needed. And I never intended to treat you like a slave, even before I met you. This is a mutually beneficial partnership. We’re sharing all the resources. We’ll be pulling our own weight on Eden colony. Together. Not me with all the money and you doing the labor. This is not me owning you. Please. You will own me as much as I own you. And we still have to have children. Together.”

He went silent then. The silence went on so long that she took her nightgown out of the wardrobe and clutched at it like it would protect her, like it would slow her rapidly beating heart, and turned slowly to look at him. All he wore was plain black briefs, ones she had actually bought for him. But she wouldn’t let herself look. “Not that—I mean— I’m a medical professional. We have a fully functional scientific module. The intention is for us to use it to raise livestock from our bank of frozen embryos, but I will also be able to fertilize my eggs with your— I mean— we have options is all I’m saying.”

He just looked at her. “We haven’t talked about this.”

“We’ve only known each other two weeks. It’s kind of personal.”

“It’s personal to both of us. This is about— us.”

“We— we have options, Bellamy.” She looked at him with as blank a face as she could manage. It seemed to be effective. He nodded, business like.

“I never asked. I assumed that, because you paid for a man to be your husband that you were attracted to men. I shouldn’t have assumed. Perhaps you just wanted a male for the farm. Or as a father. Not as a mate. Not in that way.”

She swallowed and did not look down at his bare chest and tight abs. But she couldn’t help but see anyway. “No.” She said shortly. “I am attracted to men and women both, no preference. Thanks for checking. I’m sorry I didn’t say. But like you said, we haven’t talked about this, and our sexual preferences and plans for impregnation weren’t exactly going to be part of the polite dinner conversation with the other wealthy colonists. We had more important stories to straighten out.”

He laughed and then moved to his wardrobe where he pulled out the cotton pajamas she’d bought for him. She liked them. They looked soft. He looked relaxed in them. He put them on and she could breathe deeply again, although her eyes kept returning to the suggestion of muscles underneath the shirt. It was good he had muscles. Good for breeding. Good for working their claim. He’d been a good choice for a husband, even if she’d picked him by chance. The marriage brokers she’d chosen had done their job well. She was sure they’d be able to work things out and it would stop being so awkward. Someday.

“So I assume you will be… carrying our child? Yourself? Or do they do human surrogates the way they do the livestock surrogates?”

Clarke choked on air. He smirked and clapped her on the back. “Sorry. Was that topic too sudden? I thought we were talking about it. Sexual preferences, I am also bisexual by the way, with a strong preference for women. And plans for impregnation. Were we not talking about it?”

She cleared her throat and shook her head. “No, I just— I hadn’t thought about carrying a child. I hadn’t thought of it. I mean, I knew I would have to have children, that it was the charter, but— the idea…” she looked up at him wide eyed, as if he could help her. How could he? The very thought. She pressed her nightgown into her stomach, imagining.

“I’m sorry,” he said. His eyebrows were drawn together in concern. “I was teasing you. A little. I shouldn’t have. We don’t have to talk about it. We’re not there yet.”

She gaped at him. How was he so sensitive? This man, who she’d learned had been nothing but a worker, then a guard, then a janitor in a factory on a dirt colony, a dome that manufactured synthetics. Nothing all that special. Just one colony in a hundred. He had calluses on his hands and he’d raised his sister after his mother died. Just a hard working man. They had nothing in common and they had to make up the story that they’d bonded over the net, on a webring about ancient earth mythology, strangely , an interest that they both shared in real life. He liked mythology. And human history. Inside his factory station skin, he was a man with a mind. And she was getting to like him more every day. She wasn’t ready to talk about having his baby yet. But it wasn’t going to get any easier if she waited.

“No. We should talk about it. It’s going to happen, one way or another. This is our last night cruising before they put us into cryo sleep for the the jump to hyper flight. I just hadn’t thought about how soon it would have to happen. I mean. If we’re going to free you from your contract as soon as possible, that means I should attempt impregnation was soon as we reach our claim. That’s, not counting the time we’ll be in cryo sleep,” she paused and realized the time frame. Her breath left her forcefully. “Two weeks from now.” She laughed and it sounded kind of panicked even to her own ears. “I should start adjusting to the concept. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. I meant to be so prepared.”

“Woah, Clarke,” Bellamy said, putting his big hands on her shoulders and holding her down. She was glad for it. She felt like she might fly off into space. “Slow down. We don’t have to move so fast. There’s no time constraint for pregnancy and children in the charter agreement, is there?”

“No.” She shook her head and laughed a little and this time her laughter was tinged with tears. “Of course not. We could take as long as we wanted. If we reach the end of my fertility, they would have us requisition a surrogate, like you said. But that only is necessary in medical cases. I should be fertile through my forties. We have twenty years.”

“Then why are you saying it has to happen now. Can’t we get used to our claim? Get used to each other?”

She blinked up at him and the tears that threatened had the audacity to fall. She ducked her head, but he saw. “You’re not a slave Bellamy. I don’t want to keep you longer than you need. You’re free, okay? The definitions for marriage in the charter are very broad. Okay? You can live your life however…” she paused thinking about the tall and beautiful dark haired colonist that had been eyeing him at the dinner even though he’d been holding her hand. She’d seen him looking back at the woman. Clarke thought she was beautiful too but she hadn’t been looking at Clarke like she wanted to eat her up. “You can live your life however you want, okay, Bellamy? I’m not going to hold you to any antiquated notions of marriage. I’m the one who has to monitor my fertility and the genetic background of our offspring. I’m the one that can get pregnant. You can do what you want, just be careful.”

“Hold up. Are you telling me I can sleep around?”

She shrugged.

“But you have to be faithful to me? Even though we’re not a real couple?”

“Just in relationships where I might become pregnant. They don’t just want men and women on Eden, they want prime genetic material, and that’s us. That’s how we got accepted. They liked my money and connections, but you? You’re perfect. They want your genes populating Eden. You could probably even get some other women pregnant and they wouldn’t mind, as long as the child was registered and its background confirmed to guard against future inbreeding. It’s a worry on a colony with a small population and not much migration.”

He raised his hands. “No Clarke. No. I’m not doing this.”

“What? Uhm. You signed a contract. You have to. If we don’t have children they’ll take our claim and we will have to hire on to someone else’s or find a way back. Because we’ll have no credits left.”

He snorted. “No. That’s not what I meant. I signed a contract. That means we’re married. I don’t cheat. Okay? Maybe it wasn’t a love match, but to me, this marriage is real.”

“But the charter definition of marriage is broad—“

“Clarke. I don’t cheat. I’m not going to sleep around. And, for god sake. I’m not looking to get out of our marriage as soon as possible. If I’m building a stake with you, I’m building a stake. We’re doing this together. We’re partners. And there’s no way I would even think of leaving my children. We don’t have to rush to have children so I can be free. Please. So stop that.”

“I thought you said you were a slave?”

“I was pissed off. I got accosted in the corridor by some woman who seemed to think that because we came from different classes I must be a space spouse—“

Clarke gasped. “She knew?”

“Oh don’t worry. I sold my love for you. She now thinks our forbidden love is why we were so desperate to get away from your family’s connections.”

“Oh. That’s good. Alpha Station is full of incredible snobs. Why didn’t we think of that?”

“I did. I told Echo. We’ll have to use that story from now on. Especially since mail order brides have a reputation in the wealthy colonies of being, well, whores.”

Clarke felt her mouth fall open.

“Mmhm. Yeah. Apparently, it’s a rather common occurrence on colonies for space spouses to be thrown over when the colonists find a better candidate. I’m surprised your research didn’t look into the black market economies on the colonies. Even on Eden. There’s a thriving community of comfort women and men and Echo thought she’d get her bid on me in early.”

She stared at him and felt her anger rise. She clenched her hands and imagined the tall woman’s throat in her fingers. “I’m going to kill her.”

Bellamy laughed. “What?”

“I’m going to kill her,” she said, her voice lower. “How dare she treat you like that. I won’t stand for it. And you thinking you have take it? No. I’m going to kill her.” She began stalking towards the door.

He grabbed her arm and spun her around. She was standing very near him. “Woah. Calm down. It’s nothing new. This is the way the privileged treat us lowborns. We’re there to be used, as workers, as guinea pigs, for service, in one way or another. At least with you around, I’ve got some defenses and I don’t have to, I don’t know, fight my way out of it and get arrested or on the wrong side of the power structure, like what happened to me back on my factory colony.”

“That happened to you there, too?”

He shrugged like it was no big deal. “I might have said yes. I’ve done so before. But I never liked Shumway. I didn’t trust him. Why do you think I went from being a guard to being a janitor? I was on track to become an officer, even run for office some day. Factory is a democracy, not a hereditary monarchy like Alpha.”

“Alpha isn’t a hereditary monarchy, we have a council.”

“Who all come from the hereditary ruling class. And Polis? They only elect commanders from within a privileged gene pool. It’s a little more complex than just family lines, because they require a certain genetic marker, so one person who has it might be eligible to rule, but not their full blood sibling, or either parent, since it’s a recessive gene.”

Clare gaped at him in surprise. He caught and grinned at her. “Oh I studied, Clarke. Factory wasn’t moving me up in the world just because I’m pretty. I didn’t get bumped to the top of your space spouse list for my abs.”

Clarke couldn’t help but look down to where his soft shirt clung to his stomach. She cleared her throat. “Regardless. I won’t allow anyone to treat you like that. You’re not at their mercy. You’re mine.”

“I’m at your mercy, Clarke?” His grin slipped into a smirk, as if he’d caught her in something. “I thought I wasn’t your slave.”

Her nostrils flared. This man. “You are not my slave. I did not buy YOU, Bellamy, I bought your ticket and I cleared the bureaucracy so I didn’t have to deal with it. Fine. I used my wealth to make my life easier. And you were definitely the top of space spouse list and I used my damn money to get the best husband I could and that is you. I paid THEM for their services. Not your life. You’re not my slave. You’re not my property or my employee. Even though I have more money than you. Had. The money never meant anything to me anyway. This is our life now. Everything I have is yours. I’m your wife. You’re my husband.”

Silence filled their stateroom after her outburst and he stood there, watching her. His breath coming slowly. He was quiet so long she started to get nervous. Her fingers tangled in the nightgown she was still clutching in her hands.

“I got really lucky,” he finally said, almost reverently, “with you.” Their eyes locked. “I maybe didn’t think very closely about how this could have gone for me, how badly. Who I might have ended up with. Maybe I did think it didn’t matter, it would be the same on Eden as on Factory. I maybe thought you’d be like Shumway, or Echo. Or the rest of the privileged. I never even stopped to think that I might… like you.”

Clarke couldn’t breathe now. She was afraid that if she moved he would stop. And she could tell he had more to say. She wanted to know.

“I think…” he said. “I think we have a chance to be happy, Clarke.” He laughed like he couldn’t believe it. She bit her lip. “It wasn’t a love match. You found me on a list. Your proposition worked with my needs. I could have said no. But we fit together.” He ran his hand through his hair. “This marriage is real to me, Clarke. I’m all in. Are you?”

That was what she had been fighting all along. She didn’t need to anymore. She took a deep breath. “It’s real to me, too. I want to try for real, Bellamy. I’m in.”

He smiled at her. His eyes were so warm.

“Can I hug you Bellamy?”

He laughed. “Of course,” he said and didn’t wait for her to come to him. He wrapped his arms around her and she’d never felt so safe. Never. He was strong and kind and smart and she wasn’t quite sure how she’d gotten to be so lucky finding him the way she did, but she was and she wasn’t going to take it for granted. She tucked her nose into the crook of his neck and god he smelled so good.

He ran his hands up and down her back and they stood like that for a while.

“Just saying, Clarke,” he said after a while. “If I get a say in this impregnation thing—“

“Of course you do. You’re my husband. We’re family.” The word sent a bigger thrill through her.

She felt him nod against her hair. “Okay then, well I’d like to try to do it the old fashioned way.”

She tensed, because god she could push him down on that bed right now and get started. But he must have only felt the tension. He pulled away from her and held onto her shoulders again. So calming and grounding.

“But I want us to wait, and take it slow. Okay? To get to know each other, to get to know Eden, so when we’re ready to have a baby, to make a family like the charter said, we’ll really be ready. And we’ll know who we are to each other and how we work together and everything.”

She didn’t move. She just stared up at him, clutching her nightgown against her stomach so she didn’t reach out. Dammit.

This was real. It was real. But she had to restrain herself, because Bellamy wasn’t a whore, she hadn’t bought his services at all. He wasn’t her property, he wasn’t a slave and what he wanted mattered. And he wanted to wait.

She nodded and smiled. “Okay.” It was her politician’s smile. The one that hid her feelings. She didn’t think he knew her well enough to read it, but he narrowed his eyes at her. “That’s a good idea. We’ll take it all one step at a time and get to know each other and our claim. Great plan.”

He looked at her sideways.

She raised her eyebrows and her chin. “We’re going into cryo sleep tomorrow morning, but when we wake up, we have another two weeks on this ship until the colony, and I will damn sure make it known to Ms. Echo and all the rest of the predatory colonists that you are mine and they are not to touch you.”

He chuckled. “Possessive. Is that what marriage means to you?”

She shook her head. “No. Protective. No one treats my husband like a thing, because he’s wonderful.”

The grin slipped off of his face and he blinked at her. His lips parted like he was having trouble breathing. She tried to make him believe her just by force of will. He shook his head and a small smile quirked the corner of his mouth.

“Go get ready for bed, Clarke. Cryo sleep isn’t restful. They said we need a full night sleep to avoid disorientation upon waking.”

“Okay,” she said. She would let him have it. She had a lifetime to convince him he was wonderful. A lifetime. She turned back to her closet while he slid under the covers of the bed.

He wanted to go slow and get to know each other. She could respect that. No matter how she wanted to kiss him for real, not just a peck here and there for show with the other colonists and officials. She wouldn’t do anything with him that he didn’t want. That was for damn sure, knowing now how he felt about privilege. Knowing his concerns about slavery. The very thought that anything about their partnership— marriage— might make him feel like a whore? She couldn’t bear it.

She sent a glance towards him and he was settling into bed, getting comfortable. He’d already said how he enjoyed the luxury of the down pillows and was planning to swipe them and stuff them into his duffel. She ducked her head and held back a laugh.

She wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want. But what if he wanted to?

She peaked at him one more time and he wasn’t asleep. He was flipping through the pamphlet that prepared them for cryo sleep. He was there. She was here. They would be sharing the bed as they had the whole two weeks they’d been on the ship, but now their marriage was real, not just business.

Clarke pulled her shoulder back and unbuttoned her silky blouse. She did not retreat to the bathroom the way she usually did. She didn’t need to hide from her husband.The blouse slid off of her shoulders and she stowed it. She reached up and let her hair down. She hadn’t cut it in a while. It reached almost to the small of her back. She felt Bellamy’s eyes on her. She didn’t look back at him.

Instead, she pulled her hair around over her shoulder and reached around to release the hook on her bra. She sighed as she took it off and she thought maybe she heard him, drawing a breath. She did not turn around but she smiled to herself as she slipped her skirt down and then her panties.

They were married. It was real. She would take it slow. Oh she would.

Clarke took her long thick hair in her hand and pulled it up on top of her head, twisting it into a loose bun, still keeping her back to Bellamy. She turned slightly, so he could see the side of her breast, and then slowly donned her nightgown.

It covered her to her knees and even the neckline was high, but it was soft and draped over her curves, and she knew he’d been watching and he’d be thinking about what was underneath it. She put everything away like a good spacer, and then locked the wardrobe door.

When she finally turned around, he was watching her, his eyes dark and heavy. She smiled.

“Tomorrow is going to be a big day,” she said. “We’d better sleep.”

He cleared his throat and nodded and turned off the light as she slid under the sheets next to him.

It felt different now. Knowing that this was real. Knowing that this was her husband. Her family. That they were a unit, not just uneasy allies. Before her skin had tingled, knowing she shared a bed with a handsome man who she might some day have sex with. Tonight, it was different. The warmth had settled deeper, inside of her. Somewhere above her stomach. She might almost have said her heart. But she wasn’t going to get sucked in again like that.

She inched closer to him. She could feel his body heat.

“I’m glad we’re doing this together, Bellamy. I’m glad it’s you. I have hope for us.”

He began rubbing her arm. “Me too Clarke. Me too. I’m glad you’re my wife.”

She put a hand on his chest. “But if you screw me over,” her voice went gravelly, “I will destroy you.”

He laughed. The bright sound filled the stateroom and it sounded like joy. She could see the gleam of his broad smile in the ship running lights. “That’s my wife,” he said. So proud.

He pulled her all the way into him and wrapped his arms around her so she could cuddle into his broad chest, and it felt so good.

“That’s my wife,” he murmured again into her temple. Her tension simply drained right out of her. Worries, fears, anger, anxiety. Even that strange buzzing sexual tension.

She just felt at home, in his arms. As much as she wanted to kiss him and more, she thought that if this was what she was allowed to have right now, she could wait. Because this was good. So good.