#only looked this one up to make sure wrinkles weren’t trendy

[tyresdeg]

Marcus wears the Saint Laurent Jacquard-Logo Silk Shirt ($1090)

[pain-somnia]

All Our Yesterdays [ch.1]

Fandom: That ‘70s Show Pairing(s): Jackie/Hyde, Buddy/Fez, Donna/Eric Rating: M Disclaimer: This story will utilize characters and situations that are the copyright of The Carsey-Werner Company, LLC and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, LLC . tomaday is in no way associated with the creator or producers of That '70s Show and no copyright infringement is intended. Obviously this is a fanfic meant solely for the entertainment of the fanfic author and (hopefully) it’s readers. Summary: After the events of "Street Fighting Man", Jackie and Hyde wish more than anything that things had happened differently.The next morning, they wake up in the past, on the morning of Vanstock where Jackie promptly makes one dream come true. They are not together—but, soon enough, one change snowballs into another... Day’s Notes: the notes for this fic are too large for for a tumblr post. they can be found in the links for FanFic and AO3. I hope you enjoy :) FF | AO3

chapter one: a sharp left in a different direction

Something was off. Completely and totally off.

Usually after a night of crying Jackie woke up with a headache. She couldn’t complain that she woke up nice and breezy, body relaxed as if nothing had ever happened. As if she didn’t cry more tears over a boy that called their future “crap.”

The sooner the pain hurt less, the easier everything would be. The easier it would be to compartmentalize her feelings for Steven Hyde and put them in a box inside of herself to be hidden just like her “Steven Box” was hidden in her closet.

Stretching her arms up over her head, Jackie froze and stared at her bare arm. Last night she had put on her favorite comfy flannel pajamas, the perfect set for when she wanted to feel warm and safe. Certain outfits were just as practical as they were cute.

But she hadn’t woken up wearing her cute flannel pajamas that were perfect for winter nights.

Why am I in my nightgown? Jackie sat up and examined her torso. Wait! Where are my—?

Jackie screamed in frustration as she clutched at her breasts—or the lack of them. She was small with slight curves, but they were perfect! Perfectly shaped and round not these small barely formed lumps she hadn’t had since she was fifteen.

For the second time since she woke up she froze. Taking a deep breath she turned to slide out of bed and put on her fuzzy slippers. She stared at her feet, eyeing the old slippers she used when she was a sophomore before they had to be replaced.

“What the hell is going on?” Jackie huffed as she examined her nightstand. Why would she have a photograph of Michael Kelso by her bed? Just last night she had gone to bed with a couple shot of her and Steven face down as it had been since she had broken up with him weeks prior.

She clutched at her hair, tightening her fingers around the curly locks. Her chest rose and fell rapidly with her breaths but it didn’t feel like she was taking in any oxygen. The pull on her roots hurt too much for her to still be sleeping. Squeezing her eyes shut, she mouthed a prayer to herself. She would open her eyes and everything would be back in its rightful place. It just had to be so.

Opening her eyes to the sight of her old purple suitcase with its matching traveling makeup case sitting by her bedroom door, Jackie screamed again.

She hadn’t seen that case since her sophomore year. The luggage set she used now was decidedly more adult—a lovely shade of carmine that was just right for her eighteen year old self.

I swear to God if my wardrobe isn’t up to date, heads are going to roll.

Jackie stomped to her closet and pushed through all of the cute clothes hanging in the proper color and seasonal order it was supposed to be in. The only problem was that most of her clothes, while super cute, were out of season for 1979. Most of them were trendy back in 1976 when she had first bought them.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Jackie clutched her elbows and slid down her closet door. She didn’t even want to check the rest of her room. She didn’t need to look at her records to find out that the ones given to her by Steven were gone. She was sure if she dug through her closet she wouldn’t find a shoe box decorated and dedicated to hiding all of his notes and the ticket stubs from their dates and other keepsakes.

Lightly knocking her head back against her closet door repeatedly, Jackie let out an expletive worthy of Red Forman.

What was she going to do?

. .

The first person Jackie wanted to see was Steven. It angered her a little that no matter what he was the one her body, her mind, her soul would seek out. Just yesterday she had been crying her eyes out behind a pillar in public over him and yet now she was ready to run right to him.

Fate had it that the first person she did end up seeing was Fez of all people. As good of a friend as he was, she wasn’t as close to him as she was to Steven or Donna. He wouldn’t have been her first choice for comfort in a situation like this. Maybe if her hot rollers weren’t working properly, but not for finding out that she had slipped into some sort of crazy time rift and was now back in her fifteen year old body.

Great. And now she was sounding like dorky Eric, letting herself think about stuff like time travel.

Fez had come to walk with her to the Forman residence and to tote her luggage. Luckily for her, Fez wasn’t observant enough to recognize that her brain fog had anything to do with the fact that she wasn’t the Jackie he knew.

As if he would even know a thing about time travel or recognize it in a person.

He had fumbled through his explanation for why he was at her door, reminding her that she had called him the night before to help carry her stuff because she couldn’t have Michael picking her up or it would ruin her surprise.

Ugh. Jackie wrinkled her nose in disgust. Why couldn’t I have been sent to a time before I ever let Michael sleep with me?

Vanstock. Her first experience attending wouldn’t have been so awful had it not turned out that whorey Laurie had been sleeping with her first boyfriend while she had been dating him. It had tainted the memory of her good time.

Jackie had thought that the two of them could be really good friends considering they liked all of the same things. It was almost like having the missing half of what she wished Donna was like. All of the girly attributes that Donna just didn’t understand why they were so important.

The gang had all gone again the previous year in her original timeline and that was much better. But then again, she had spent the weekend with Steven and they had snuggled in his double sleeping bag. She had almost forgotten that they were sleeping on the ground.

Almost.

And with the reminder of Steven and their time together came the deep ache in her chest that was always present since she had broken up with him after the LOPP’s Christmas party. God, she missed him—missed them.

That was the one positive of the time travel. Yes it hurt, but her feelings for Steven were still there with her and her thoughts were her own despite being back in her underdeveloped fifteen year old body.

She wasn’t going to get over that. Applying her makeup on that morning had been frustrating each time she had to look at her rounder cheeks, still full of baby fat.

It’s a good thing I’m super cute no matter how old. Jackie turned her nose up at her own wandering thoughts. It was hard to focus on what was important when she couldn’t find the source of her problem.

At the moment all she could do was compartmentalize everything and create some order by what was a priority and by what she could actually fix within her own power.

Just because she was her fifteen year old self, it didn’t mean she had to live her fifteen year old self’s life. She was Jackie Burkhart and she got what she wanted when she wanted. And what she wanted was to not be that girl she was when she was sixteen.

It was a few weeks too soon but there was one matter she could take into her own hands right that moment. She just wished she had made her decision before Fez had carried her stuff all the way to the Formans’ house. Now she was going to be stuck taking it all back herself.

Going to Vanstock had seemed like a good idea when she had been faced with choosing between being with her friends or alone with her thoughts in an empty house. The housekeeper had been given the weekend off when her fifteen year old self had made the decision to surprise Michael with her attendance on the group’s road trip and she wasn’t in the right state of mind to be by herself.

“Jackie!” Donna was the first person to greet her when she walked up the Forman’s driveway. Her hair was totally flat and that god awful red but her cheeks still bloomed like she had a sunburn when she was flustered.

Jackie had to resist wrapping her arms around her best friend. She wanted nothing more than a hug and for someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay but this wasn’t the moment, especially when she knew what was making Donna so nervous.

She barely registered the mentions of mud and Canadians. Jackie’s gaze drifted from Donna to her future ex-boyfriend who stood in the back in his worn out denim jacket. She had to remind herself that this was Hyde not Steven. That while he was complicit in letting her heart get broken, this wasn’t the man that owed her any loyalty. It was just the boy that got his kicks where he could and didn’t recognize that what he was doing was terrible.

This was also the boy that would get his heart broken again in a few months and Jackie bit her lower lip to keep from shouting about everything she knew. This Steven Hyde wasn’t hers to protect like when he first met his real father.

And if she shared those secrets there were worse things that could happen to her than waking up almost a full bra cup size and a half smaller.

“Where’s Michael?” Jackie asked before anyone else could fumble some sort of weak reason as to why she shouldn’t go with them to Vanstock. Any moment now Steven was going to try to convince her that it was a fantastic idea regardless of the fact that Michael was bringing along the girl he was having an affair with.

“Jackie.” Steven stared her down, expression more solemn than she recalled him looking at sixteen. Last time when they stood in this driveway, he had been gleeful, downright giddy. “I need to talk to you about something.”

She wasn’t ready for this, whatever this was. His hair was longer and blonder, he wasn’t as muscular, but his voice was still the same deep timbre she loved and even though it should have been easy to separate this Steven from her Steven, she couldn’t do it. Jackie was convinced one look, one direct look, into her eyes and he would know everything.

Steven Hyde of 1976 would know she loved him.

“Can it wait?” Jackie’s gaze shifted anywhere but his face. “I really need to talk to Michael before you guys go.”

“Wait,” Eric looked back and forth between his best friend and her, “you’re not coming with us then? And why do you need to talk to Jackie?”

Jackie really didn’t need this right now. Eric Forman could hate her some other time but he wasn’t going to be wasting her time with his questions. “Makes no sense why I would be going.” Jackie crossed her arms across her chest protectively. “Doubt he’d let me come along after I dump him.”

“What?” Came everyone’s shocked response. . . Hyde leaned his head back and closed his eyes, propping his feet on the spool table. They should have been on the road over an hour ago. He should have been roaming the grounds and meeting up with his friends from Kenosha, dropping acid or smoking a joint in between the different musical acts performing.

The last time he had been there in 1976, that was exactly what he had done as well as hooking up with any willing hot chick. The desire for acid or a girl had significantly dropped since then, both for different reasons.

Opening his eyes, Hyde watched the smoke float in lazy circles up towards the ceiling. The swirls had his focus more than the conversation currently being had in the basement.

“You were just frenching Laurie not even ten minutes before she broke up with you, dillhole!” Donna huffed, passing the joint on to Forman.

That comment had Hyde peering at Donna from the corner of his eye. When she had discovered that Kelso had been cheating on Jackie back in his own 1976, she hadn’t warned Jackie at all. She still hadn’t warned her this time around, only weakly attempted to get her to change her mind about going on the trip. Not that Jackie needed to change her mind. She had shown up and broke up with Kelso in the simplest most blunt way possible.

“I don’t love you and you’re a cheating bastard. Have fun at Vanstock.” And then she just skipped away.

 The divergence in the timeline was going to be interesting.

Waking up had been a trip. Hyde had woken up thinking he had been tripping. It had been so long since he kept his hair long enough to be as blonde as it was and he felt lighter than usual━his limbs no longer carrying the extra weight of the muscles he had developed over the past couple of years.

Time travel. It was a subject that only Forman out of everyone he could possibly have a serious discussion with. Kelso at this stage wouldn’t even try to jump into the conversation unless it was about a time machine that could take him back in time before Jackie broke up with him.

“Shouldn’t we be glad that we’re finally free?” Forman shrugged his shoulders passing him the joint. Hyde didn’t honor him with a response, only taking a long drag before skipping right over Kelso to Fez.

Kelso didn’t even notice that he had been skipped in the circle. His head hung low and his eyes were glazed over with unshed tears. Hyde cared for them just as much as he did the first time Jackie had broken up with Kelso━not at all.

Tears from his friend over a girl that he himself loved meant nothing.

Kelso crying over Jackie was a joke. It was a joke back when all she was was the bitchy anchor around Kelso’s neck. It was a joke when he got caught cheating with Laurie.

“We were in love,” Kelso choked out, voice thick and watery from crying.

“Kelso.” Hyde snapped his fingers in front of Kelso’s face and tried to capture his attention. “No you weren’t. You were cheating on her with the Earth Mother Whore.”

Kelso blinked at him and swallowed hard. “Doesn’t mean I don’t love Jackie.”

Rolling his eyes, Hyde took the joint back from Donna and took the last drag from the remaining stub. He coughed as the burnt smoke hit his lungs and pinched the dying ember on the paper between his index finger and thumb. The high from the marijuana wasn’t enough for Hyde to tolerate listening to Kelso talk about being in love with his chick.

Ex chick. Future ex chick.

Time travel was such a fucked concept. It was one thing to hide a hurt that he had reasons for having, but the hurt he felt wasn’t for the Jackie of 1976 but the Jackie of 1979. He was hiding a deep ache in his chest that was caused by a girl that had probably been crying over his moron friend the night before, not him.

Miles away there was a shrill, loud, bitchy cheerleader who was probably stuffing all of her Kelso paraphernalia into a box right at that moment and it was killing him that he couldn’t have her. And because of this time travel bullshit she didn’t even know that she had ever been his and he had been hers.

“I can’t believe we’re missing Vanstock all because of Jackie,” Forman scoffed. “Leave it to her to ruin everything.”

“Forman,” Hyde turned to him in disgust, “really? Are you forgetting certain important details?”

“I still can’t believe you all knew!” Donna slapped her hands on the spool table. She glared at them all and then stood up from her seat. “I’m going to go see Jackie.”

“Wait!” Fez called after her. “I’ll go with you!”

Hyde reached over and pulled Fez by the back of his shirt, forcing him back on the mushroom ottoman. “Sit down!” Like hell was he going to let an infatuated Fez try and take advantage of the situation again.

Fez wrinkled his nose and gave him a disgruntled look before shrugging it off. “So what happened with Laurie?”

Hyde rolled his eyes yet again. Right after Jackie had confronted Kelso, Laurie had taken off when it was obvious they weren’t going anywhere. She had looked downright gleeful when they all had dragged their stuff back inside, looking miserable. She took one look at a sad Kelso and shrugged it off. No one knew where she went after everything went down, but Laurie made herself scarce as soon as it was clear that no one was going anywhere.

Kelso was a dumbass, but the consequences for his actions lead to Hyde finding out that there was more to Jackie than they all originally thought. There was just one very important difference in this timeline.

Jackie wasn’t heartbroken over her split with Kelso. In 1976, Jackie had told Kelso it was over, tears thickening her voice, and then threw herself at Hyde for comfort. This time, Jackie tossed out the break up statement casually with the same attitude she would give a shoe department employee her size on whatever clogs took her fancy and then went on her merry way.

Hyde didn’t know what to make of that. As annoyed as he had been when he was last sixteen years old, Kelso and Jackie’s first real break up was the catalyst to his and Jackie’s relationship changing.

This was his punishment at last from the government. Kelso threatened the president and once they all were lulled into a false sense of security, Hyde was shifted to a different time and was forced to relive his teen years in a simulation that altered the events of his life out of his favor.

Out of his favor? Shouldn’t this be what he wanted? Hyde was back in a time that he and Jackie could just hang out without any of the complications of dating.

But life was a bitch because that’s not how it worked.

His body was closer to seventeen than twenty but his memories were still there. He could still remember the way Jackie felt under his fingertips, how she breathed into him when he laid kisses onto her inviting mouth...and how she looked with eyes full of tears from a broken heart.

Couldn’t rat out a friend? Hyde inwardly scoffed. Maybe his sixteen year old self had a point, but nineteen year old him had more loyalty to the tiny loud girl than his doofus friend.

Government simulation or not, he wasn’t going to let Jackie go through all of that bullshit again. Hyde had planned on warning Jackie before she surprised him and took things into her own hands.

“You could have just—and I’ll say this yet again,” Forman flattened his palms together and pressed his fingers to his mouth before shouting, “not make out with my sister!”

“No,” Kelso’s expression became serious as he turned his attention towards Eric, “I couldn’t, Eric.”

“You know what?” Eric threw his hands up and flailed them in exasperation. “I don’t even care anymore that you ruined Vanstock. What am I going to tell Donna? She’s going to ask me if I knew the whole time.”

Hyde rolled his eyes behind his aviators. He already knew how that turned out last time when Donna had stormed off, upset. “As entertaining as it would be to see you fuck this up further, Forman—just tell her the truth.”

“How is that not going to screw me over?” Forman gestured wildly again. “She’s going to know that I’ve been keeping this from her.”

“Because if you lie it will end up biting you in the ass later.”

“Hyde is right, Eric.” Fez nodded in agreement. “Just take a look at Kelso. It’s biting him in the ass right now.”

“And you already lied earlier when you tried to get me to cover for you about Don Juan El Tardo and The Village Whore.”

“No!” Kelso jabbed his finger at Hyde’s direction and then Forman’s. “Eric, you can’t tell Donna. She’ll tell Jackie how long it’s been going on and then I won’t be able to get her back.”

The other three boys stared at Kelso like he had grown a second head. Fez was the first one to fling something at him, tossing as many magazines and comic books he could reach. Forman was irritated by the events of the day and needed an outlet. Hyde already knew how Kelso was, wasn’t surprised by his statement but it didn’t stop from irritating him and the anger boiled deep in his gut.

“I’m out of here.”

He was done with this crap for the day. It finally hit where the punishment was. Hyde was going to have to witness Kelso jerking Jackie around all over again━only this time, he was going to have to pay the price for feeling more than he wanted to for her.

This crap ain’t happening again. He slammed the door shut for his bedroom and flopped on his cot. This is why he didn’t do love. Fuck the U.S. government. . . In a way, Jackie was grateful for the place in time she had been sent back to. She wouldn’t have to deal with anymore of Michael’s crap and she had less stuff of his to throw away.

“He really gave you a slinky for an anniversary?” Donna sat cross legged on Jackie’s bed, tossing it back and forth between her hands. “Kind of makes me appreciate Eric more.”

“Yeah, Michael’s a moron.” Jackie slipped the photo of Michael out from the frame on her bed and wrinkled her nose in thought. “You think Fez would want this?”

Donna’s face scrunched up in confusion and she shrugged. Jackie shrugged back and tossed it into the trash can by her desk. She wasn’t exactly sure when Fez became a little obsessed with her ex-boyfriend, but maybe this was before then if Donna didn’t understand the question.

“I’m really sorry about the Laurie thing,” Donna apologized for the second time since she had arrived at the Burkhart mansion. “I just found out before you showed up and was asking Eric about it.”

Jackie kept her gaze on the box of stuff she had collected from her year of dating Michael. She bit her lip to keep from smiling or making a comment, but she couldn’t help the warmth that spread in her chest.

Despite her friendship with the Donna of 1979, it sometimes felt like Donna sided with the boys over Jackie most of the time when they were younger. They had their moments though and Donna was like a less attractive, goofy older sister. It felt kind of nice to have her right now even if they weren’t as close as they would be some day.

“I wanted to tell you but once I saw you I blanked out a bit because...well,” Donna shrugged, hiking her shoulders up to her ears, “you’re kind of my friend and I didn’t want you to get hurt and for me to be the messenger that caused it.”

“Well, I deserved to know.” Jackie finally turned her gaze back to Donna and smiled slyly. “But you could always do something for me to make me feel better.”

Donna rolled her eyes in exasperation but she playfully shoved at Jackie’s shoulder. “Alright midget, what are you scheming at? And no, I’m not dumping Eric in solidarity or throwing out my clothes.”

“As great as those two options would totally be, that’s actually not what I was going to ask.”

Donna sat up straighter, her curiosity obvious. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion but nodded for Jackie to continue.

“I really meant what I said about not loving Michael and—“

“Jackie, you just told him you loved him three days ago.”

“Shh! Let me talk you big goon,” Jackie snapped. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. “Ignore that, that was the past and I’ve learned some stuff about myself, okay?”

“Okay. So what about not loving Kelso?”

“I don’t want him to bother me. I know he’s your friend and he’s been your friend longer than I have but can you be on my side about this? I really am over Michael Kelso and never want to be with him again.”

Donna stared impassively at her for a moment before nodding in understanding. “I’m guessing this means you’re asking me to run interference in case he tries to get you back like he did after the Pam Macy incident...incidents?”

Jackie nodded enthusiastically. “That’s exactly it. Look,” Jackie turned her whole body and sat cross legged on her bed, “Michael isn’t just cheating on me with Laurie but also some tramp from Sacred Heart and really that’s just what I know about.”

In reality, Jackie knew a lot more now thanks to Steven tricking Michael to reveal everything he had ever hidden from her.

“I know he’s a cheater but you don’t seem as upset as I expected you to be.” Donna raised a brow in confusion. “Like you sound a little angry but mostly resigned. I expected waterworks. Didn’t think you could get over stuff like this unless you found someone else.” Donna slapped her hands on the bed on either side of her hips. “Oh my god, Jackie! You already like someone else!”

“No,” Jackie lied, shaking her head and dragging out the vowel in the negation. Damn Donna always nailing it right on the head. 1976 Jackie didn’t love Steven and it would be weird if she suddenly had feelings for him. “I just realized that what hurts is my pride, not my heart. So, I don’t really love Michael.”

As much as the cheating hurt back in 1976, Jackie had recently felt pain that made the Michael cheating stuff feel like a mosquito bite in comparison.

She didn’t know when the timeline would spit her back to where she belonged, but the one thing she did know was that she wasn’t going to be spending her time in the past letting a boy she didn’t love touch her. And Jackie of 1976 might not know it yet, but she deserved better than to be with that doofus.

She found better. And she lost better.

Jackie blinked her eyes but the tears welling up in her eyes threatened to roll down her cheeks. She couldn’t be sad about that. Steven wasn’t her boyfriend in 1979 and he wasn’t her boyfriend in 1976. It didn’t matter how much she wanted him to be. 1979 Steven didn’t see a future with her and 1976 Steven didn’t see her at all—at least not as anything other than an annoyance.

Her parents were never around, she just broke up with the cheating boyfriend she didn’t even want, Steven wasn’t her friend yet, dorky Eric wasn’t really an option, and Fez was way too into her to be a real friend. The only thing she really had was her tentative friendship with Donna.

How did Donna end up being her lifeline?

“Could we still hang out?” Jackie sniffed. “I know I’m not with Michael anymore and well I’m not really part of the group…but I think of you as my friend too. My best friend. Despite the fact that you’re a lumberjack and all.”

Jackie was about to tell Donna that her eyes would get stuck if she kept rolling her eyes but was cut off by the feel of a slightly calloused hand taking hers into its grip. Donna offered her a small smile and nodded.

“Of course, midget.”

1976 and going into 1977 was going to be a rough school year for Donna. Donna invited her to live with her when she didn’t have a home and would in the future of this timeline. The least Jackie could do is save her lumberjack heart some heartbreak. Especially ones she may have had a hand in—there would be no Casey Kelso this time around.

Squeezing Donna’s hand, Jackie smiled to herself. It was only a day and she already had more than 1976 Jackie had. She had no idea why she was there or how but she did know one thing:

She needed to make a list.

[sluttyten]

you can be my angel

summary: Jungwoo is a vampire and you’re an unbeliever, but soon you find yourself wrapped up in the world of the supernatural, populated with vampires, werewolves, ghosts and witches (part 1)

words: 26,366

pairings: jungwoo x reader, mentioned johnten and jaeyong, a hint or two of luwoo x reader

or read it here on ao3

Dating a vampire starts to affect your circadian rhythm. You find yourself drowsy in the middle of the day and wide awake all night when you can actually leave the house with Jungwoo. So, some days you’ll wake up after class ends, a kind classmate or an angry professor shaking you awake or calling your name, and you’ll have to apologize and make excuses. Then you’ll text Jungwoo and put the blame on him even if he’d told you to stay home and sleep the night before rather than explore the city with him.

You can’t help but want to be near him all the time, especially after that conversation you had with Ten at that party. You’re all too aware of how little time in the grand span of time you’ll actually have to spend together. So, when you’re not at school and when you’re not working, you’re usually over at the mansion of vampires.

And then there are the nights where you don’t even get off of work until late, your boss keeping you around until she’s finished with everything.

As Christmas nears, and the days grow darker faster, more and more often Jungwoo can pick you up from work, and you treasure those moments. They make you feel normal, like there’s nothing supernatural about your relationship, like he’s not a vampire who can’t step out into sunlight. He’s just your normal boyfriend who stands in the lobby and eavesdrops on conversations while he waits for you.

“Did you know that your boss’s husband has a mistress?” Jungwoo asks you one night when you finally get to leave. “She just took a call from the other woman right after you left the office. It’s probably good that you have the day off tomorrow, I imagine she’ll be a mess.”

You cling to his hand and arm, wishing he was a bit warmer as you step out into the chill of winter which has so suddenly blown into town. Winds whistles and bites as it races along the sidewalk, pushing tiny snowflakes under the streetlights and into your hair and eyelashes.

“You look cold.” Jungwoo says, brushing a few drops of melted snow from your cheek while you walk. Even though you’re all bundled up in a scarf, coat, gloves, and a hat, you’re still really cold, probably due to the fact that you’re clinging to your boyfriend who feels like ice.

“Cold, tired, hungry.” You nod, squeezing closer to him as the wind blows harder. Even if he can’t keep you warm, Jungwoo works as a good shield against the wind. He guides you down the street to the bus stop, but when you pass it by, you ask, “Where are we going?”

Jungwoo takes your hand firmly. “Somewhere special.”

You’re new to this whole world of the supernatural, but even you can recognize when the building you walk into is populated by supernatural types, and not just because you know a large group of them at the back of the pub.

The group of Jungwoo’s friends are all gathered around a massive table. The vampires, werewolves, and witches sit together, being rowdy and eating. Jungwoo leads you through tables that are full of witches (that look like stereotypical witches), very hairy werewolves that have barking laughs and gnaw at the bones left over from their meals, a group of trendy looking vampires women sit at the bar sipping at glasses of blood.

“What is this place?” You ask Jungwoo, looking around in wonder.

“The Leaky Cauldron. Not like the Harry Potter one, though the name is inspired by it.” He laughs. “There’s not an entrance to a secret magical world behind any doors or anything like that, though. Just a gathering place for all of us.”

The guys all cry out in greeting as you and Jungwoo arrive at the table, and Jungwoo pulls up a seat beside Lucas, and he drags you onto his lap. Lucas smiles, all big and friendly, and you reach over to pat his hair.

Jisung sits across from you, entertaining Chenle, Mark, and Doyoung with magic. You watch for a moment, laughing when he transforms his nose into a pig’s snout and starts oinking a rendition of a song you recognize but can’t quite place.

Jungwoo’s lips brush against the back of your neck, his hands fastened around your waist, and you feel your heartbeat pick up just from these little touches. You notice half of the table glancing at you, as if they’ve all just noticed your heightened heartbeat, and you blush wishing they weren’t all so tuned-in.

A robust older woman comes over to the table, depositing a platter and a few drinks at one end of the table. She looks perfectly normal to your eyes, but as she walks away, Jungwoo whispers, “They’re a nymph. They often changes to seduce customers, not like sexually, but to look like what’s most likely to make their customers feel comfortable. What do they look like to you?”

“Like a kindly grandma that might bake me cookies and stuff me full with food.” You reply. “What about you?”

Lucas interjects. “A mix between my dad and my brother, but cooks as great as Kun. You should come over to the den sometime, Y/N, and I’ll make Kun cook you something great. He’s a wonderful den mother.”

Kun, who’s sitting right on Lucas’s other side, suddenly turns and frowns at him. “How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not your mother!”

This sudden adamant statement draws the attention of the other wolves around the table who all began whining and calling Kun mom and laughing as Kun’s expression grows more and more frustrated.

“You might as well accept it, Kun.” Ten laughs and throws his arm around Kun’s shoulders, but quickly draws it back when Johnny pouts. “You’re their mama.”

Everyone laughs when Kun gives in, dropping his head into his hands in defeat, but you catch a glimpse of the curve of his smile. “I would love to come by some time. Jungwoo, can we go there?” You turn around in his lap, twisting your arms around his neck, and all it takes is a little smile from you and your scary thing-of-nightmare boyfriend melts.

“Of course we can go, Y/N.” His hand slides just a bit under the hem of your shirt, his fingertips cold for a moment against your skin. You shift in his lap, your smile holding its place, and you pray that everyone has turned their ears away again or else they’ll hear your heartbeat going faster again. You know Jungwoo hears it because his smile stretches wide again.

You’re so distracted by Jungwoo that you don’t notice the nymph come back again, depositing more food and drinks on the table. You get lost in his eyes and a light, funny feeling fills your belly.

“What are you doing to me, Jungwoo?” You ask, still smiling, your fingers dancing over the back of his neck, diving up into his hair. “Trying to put me under your vampire spell?”

“Nothing like that. You’re just in love with me.” He leans in and presses his lips to the corner of your mouth. “My powers of persuasion don’t work on you, and even if they did I would never use them. I barely use them anyway. Only when the situation calls for it.”

He reaches around you to grab a glass, and you wrinkle your nose as he lifts it to his lips. It looks like a pint, smells like it too, but you know there’s more to it than the appearance would suggest. Jungwoo’s eyes flicker red as he takes a drink, so you can only assume that the beer is spiked with blood.

All around the table, the supernatural creatures that you call friends dig into meals and drinks they would never be served in a regular restaurant. The wolves are digging into plates of what almost looks like raw meat, their plates are pools of blood and chunks of meat. At least the witches eat normal meals: Jisung picks at a plate of fruit and vegetables, while Ten inhales a breadbasket. Both of them stick to a vegetarian diet, you’ve noticed, and you’re not sure if that’s just a choice or if it comes with being a witch. The vampires either sip at glasses you’re sure have at least a bit of blood in them, or they nibble at bloody pieces of meat.

Lucas, beside you and Jungwoo, tears at a huge raw steak.

The full moon is nearing, and he looks like he’d prefer to just tear at it with his teeth, but he uses a knife and fork to stay somewhat civilized. When Jungwoo reaches in front of Lucas’s plate to grab a strawberry for you from Jisung’s plate, Lucas bares his teeth a little and covers his plate protectively, like a dog guarding his bowl.

Jungwoo presses the strawberry between your lips, and you bite down then lick at his fingers, cleaning the juice off. Lucas makes a noise, and you glance over to see him frowning at the pair of you, Jungwoo’s fingertips still inside your lips.

“Gross. You’re just as bad as Johnny and Ten.” He says, casting a look over at the pair down the table. Ten’s most of the way into Johnny’s lap, laughing at something Taeyong said, and Johnny’s just watching him with a distracted smile on his lips. “All these couples around me. I think I’ll be sick from all the sweetness. Get a room.”

Jungwoo laughs and drops his hand back to your lap, and rests his chin on your shoulder. He waits a few moment until Lucas gets up to go mess around with Mark and WinWin, then Jungwoo turns his head to the side and brushes his lips against your throat.

“Are you spending the night?” His voice is low, but you know that half the table has probably just heard. Jungwoo’s fingers brush under your shirt, over your belly, dipping just under the waistband of your pants.

“I don’t see why not. Winter break started so there aren’t any classes for you to distract me from, and I don’t work tomorrow.” Your hand falls to his as more of his fingertips disappear under your waistband, pushing lower. “Plenty of time for you to do whatever you’d like.”

Jungwoo nips at your throat lightly. “Perfect. Let’s get out of here.”

He pulls his hand away suddenly and nudges you off his lap so he can stand. Doyoung’s eyes are suddenly on the pair of you, very judgmental, but Jungwoo just waves goodbye, announces you’re leaving now, claps Lucas on the shoulder, and then ushers you out the door.

It’s still freezing outside, snowing heavier than before, beginning to really pile up on the sidewalk. You cling to Jungwoo’s hand as you walk away, and for a moment the pair of you is silent and you think about what just happened.

“Can we really visit the werewolves sometime?” You ask, leaning heavily against Jungwoo, using him to block the cold wind.

Jungwoo turns, takes your face in both of his hands, and says, “After the full moon, we’ll go.” You look up into his face, not minding the biting cold of the wind hitting your cheeks, not caring at all about the chill or the damp feel of snow melting through your shoes because Jungwoo has snowflakes perfectly preserved in his hair and his eyelashes, unmelting since he gives off no heat.

You press up on your toes and Jungwoo welcomes your kiss. Your mouth is warm against his, and his arms slide bracingly around your waist, holding you there with your chest pressing into his.

You kiss for a while before the cold really grows to be too much. Jungwoo drops another kiss to your forehead, then lets you fall back flat onto your feet.

“Let’s get a cab home. You’re freezing. I’m not making you walk all that way.”

He flags down a passing cab, holds the door open for you, and then slides in after, muttering the address to the driver. You lean against him, suddenly feeling tired and warm now that you’re out of the cold again. A faint headache throbs in the back of your head, but you lay your head on Jungwoo’s shoulder and close your eyes, thinking you’ll just take a short nap on the ride home, and wake up to have fun with Jungwoo in the empty house.

Just a short nap, you tell yourself.

You wake up warm and cozy, wrapped in safe arms and a heavy duvet. You don’t remember how you got there at first, but after a hazy moment as you blink away sleep, the cab ride comes back to you. Flashes of images follow: Jungwoo carrying you, Jungwoo helping you out of your clothes, Jungwoo tucking you into bed with a kiss to your forehead and a quiet “Sleep, sunshine.”

Even as you pull yourself out of the peaceful sleep, you can feel a dull ache low in your belly, familiar and horrible.

You slide your hand down between your legs, just for a second, and when you pull your hand away you see red. Your damn period.

You start to get up, trying to move Jungwoo’s arm from around you, but then his grip tightens, pressing you back into the bed. He opens his eyes and looks down at you, their black shade a bit lighter than normal, closer to brown than black. He takes your breath away.

“Good morning, it’s still early.” Jungwoo kisses your shoulder, and his hand slides to your chest, his cool palm held against your beating heart. “Don’t get up yet. Most of the guys are still out. The others are sleeping.”

He shifts without letting you up at all. Slipping down the bed, between your legs, and looking up at you.

“We can’t, Jungwoo.” You press your hand to his forehead and push lightly. Jungwoo just retaliates by leaning back and nipping at your fingertips. When he still doesn’t move from that position, you shake your head. “We shouldn’t do anything. I started my period.”

“I know that. I could smell it as soon as I woke up.” Jungwoo tells you, and he presses a kiss against your hips, his fingers touching your waistband. “Please, my sweet sunshine, can I please eat you out?”

You can hear the hunger in his voice, can feel it as his fangs drag lightly over your skin. When he looks up at you, you can see that his eyes are turning more red than black. Jungwoo wants you, and although all your life you’ve been taught that menstruation is gross and dirty, there’s something undeniably hot about the thought of Jungwoo performing oral and having your period blood on his lips and chin.

It’s really not that difficult to give in to his request.

“Yeah, okay.” You guide your fingers into his hair and Jungwoo makes a sound that honestly resembles a purr as he tugs your panties down and flings them across the room so he can get between your legs.

You’ve seen your blood on Jungwoo’s lips before those few occasions where he actually consents to drinking from you. But it’s different to have it be the blood between your thighs. This pleasure is different than the pleasure of his venom flooding through your veins as he drinks.

Jungwoo’s thumbs massage circles into your thighs and he licks tentatively at first against you.

“So good.” He moans, pulling you closer to his mouth. “Better than drinking you. Eating you alive.”

His eyes glint red, hungry, the monster shining through, but he’s a monster that you love.

“Jungwoo, shit.” You drape your arm over your eyes.

He chuckles, and sits up a bit, flops over onto his back, and pats his chest. “Come sit, sweet sunshine.”

You get up and sit over his chest and let Jungwoo’s hands guide you to hover over his face. It’s almost gross to see red dripping from you onto your boyfriend’s face, but Jungwoo opens his mouth and smiles, licks at the blood, then pulls you to sit fully down on his face.

Jungwoo’s fingers dig into your thighs, and his tongue strokes over your pussy. You can hear him moaning and feel it against you as he dips his tongue inside you.

It should be weird, but it’s not. It’s just like any other time Jungwoo’s eaten you out, only he’s a bit hungrier about it, and you’re sitting on his face, grinding yourself against his lips and chin.

You tangle your fingers in his hair, and hold onto it tightly as you feel yourself getting closer.

“Jungwoo, fuck, you feel so good. I’m so close.” You moan, chasing the feeling, trying to reach orgasm, and it really helps when he slides his fingers right inside you and just starts fucking you on his fingers while his tongue laps against your clit. And you cum, loudly moaning for him and clutching at his hair, humping his face.

And he keeps licking you out and fingering you, trying to drink more of you down.

Finally you push at his head and pull away, falling back onto your hands, and that’s when you look down at his face.

Jungwoo looks like a fucking mess. The entire lower half of his face is bloody. It drips down his chin and his cheeks, staining the sheets under his head, but he doesn’t seem to mind at all.

“You’re delicious.” He sits up, holding you down into his lap with his fingers tight on your hips again, and he’s so close you think he might kiss you. But he doesn’t he stops just short with his mouth open enough you can see his fangs, and his eyes burn a bright aroused shade of red. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He suddenly leans back and let’s go.

“Like what?” You push out of his lap and stand up, bending over to dig a pad or tampon or anything out of your bag.

Jungwoo follows you as you traipse over to the bathroom. He leans in the doorway as you start up the shower and then sit down on the toilet to pee and clean yourself up just a bit down there.

He doesn’t say anything for several long moments, not until you’re both standing in the shower together and he’s trailing his fingers along your jugular vein.

“You we’re looking at me like you were afraid. Like you thought I might eat you, or not be able to actually stop myself.” Jungwoo tells you quietly, carefully keeping his lips over his fangs and his eyes lowered so you can just barely make out the bloody red of his irises. “If you think I’m a monster, then you don’t have to stay with me. I’ll understand. Others have found me too terrifying and disgusting to want me.”

For a moment, you don’t say anything. You just reach for him, fingers sliding over his hips as you step closer and lay your head on his chest.

Once upon a time, this boy you love had a beating heart, had flushed cheeks, and loved people that were not you.

You hold each other under the warm spray of the shower until it begins to run cold, then you hurry and finish washing. When you step out of the shower and wrap a towel around yourself and hurry to step into your panties and start using your feminine product, Jungwoo walks over to the covered mirror that you noticed on your first visit.

His whole body is still tense and it hurts you that your light fun of waking up has turned into this dark mood.

“Jungwoo,” You walk over to him, and press your bare chest to his back, arms going around his waist. “You’re not a monster. You’re different, sure, but that doesn’t make you a monster. You may not have a beating heart, you may have to drink blood to survive, but you’re still human with a conscience and morals and the ability to love.”

Jungwoo shrugs as if to dislodge you, but you keep your hold around him, hands pressed to his stomach, and you drop a kiss to his back and leave your lips there for a moment.

“I am.” His voice is quiet but full of emotion. “All you have to do is look at me, and you can see I’m the stuff of nightmares. Just look.”

Suddenly Jungwoo reaches for the sheet covering the mirror in front of you, and he pulls.

The sheet falls to the floor, exposing the cracked and broken mirror. And you see only you standing there, your arms around nothing, but now that you stand with Jungwoo in front of you, you can tell that the fist-shaped epicenter of the shattered mirror is exactly where Jungwoo’s face would be if he were visible.

His shoulders are still hunched, and it pains you to have him like this.

“Jungwoo, my foolish boyfriend. Look at me.” You loose your arms from his waist, and move around to face him, lifting yourself up onto the counter top, sitting between Jungwoo and the mirror. You put your hands on his cheeks and pull his face down so your foreheads touch, and you feel his eyelashes flutter against your skin and he lets out a sigh.

You per his hair, and say, “I don’t know how long you’ve been like this, how you were turned, or how many people you’ve been with before me. I don’t know what they’ve said to you to make you believe that you are some monster of nightmares and legends, but —“ Jungwoo starts to straighten up, but you weave your fingers into his hair and tug lightly. “Listen to me — the first time I saw you, I thought you were just dressed up as one of the most innocent types of vampires: the Twilight vampires. You aren’t terrifying, I can confirm that. You’re cute. You’re so cute, Jungwoo, that I have never felt threatened by you.”

“But—“

You shake your head. “But nothing. Back there in bed, I just thought you were going to kiss me with my blood on your lips, and it kind of grossed me out. I wasn’t scared of you, Jungwoo.”

Weakly, Jungwoo’s head falls to your shoulder and he sighs, presses his mouth to your skin, the edges of his fangs just barely pressed against you. You keep stroking his hair, holding him against you, all six foot something of damp vampire boyfriend.

It’s late in the afternoon when you and Jungwoo actually leave his bedroom. The golden autumn light of the afternoon has already faded into the cool, steel blue of twilight, but Jungwoo still makes you sit on the counter in the kitchen while he makes breakfast for you. Waffles and eggs and nicely chopped fruits.

He’s in the process of making bacon when the others start filing slowly into the room. First it’s Chenle, sniffing the air and slipping into a seat at the breakfast nook.

“That smells delicious.” He sighs. “I miss being able to really eat food.”

The next few — Yuta, Taeyong, Taeil — all commiserate with him, and you begin to feel bad for eating all of this in front of them. You feel bad that Jungwoo’s cooking this for you when he can’t even eat it, and that he’s keeping their fridge and cabinets stocked with food for you.

When Doyoung comes into the kitchen just as Jungwoo is plating your food, and you wince when you get a look at his face. Jungwoo swears.

“What the hell happened to your face?” Jungwoo asks, dropping the plate in your lap and immediately going to Doyoung. You move the plate to the side, more interested in this than eating.

A massive bruise blooms across his face, taking over his left eye and most of his cheek. His lip is busted and when he lifts his hands to push Jungwoo away, you see that his hands are bruised too and dark scratches disappear up his arms.

“Stop it.” Doyoung pushes him away.

Jungwoo retreats to stand between your legs, leaning back against you while still staring at the older vampire. His fingers absentmindedly trace over your skin, while you wait for Doyoung to explain why he looks like he’s been pummeled.

“You should’ve seen him when we got home this morning.” Taeyong says. “You look better, Doyoung. How are you feeling now?”

Doyoung shrugs then winces and grabs his side.

Jeno comes into the room, takes one look at Doyoung and walks immediately to the fridge, pulls out a bottle of blood and pops it in the microwave to heat it for him then passes it off to Doyoung before anyone says anything else.

Jungwoo’s fingers keep moving anxiously over your skin until you drop your hand over his to stop him. With your other hand you start picking at your plate of food because you actually are quite hungry in addition to being concerned about the state Doyoung is in.

When he’s downed about half the glass of blood, Doyoung sits down at the table. Already he looks a bit better. His split lip has healed and the bruise is faded a bit.

“Who the fuck beat you up so badly you’ve taken this long to heal?” Jungwoo asks, looking around the room at the others, searching for answers from anyone who will give them.

“It’s lucky the two of you left when you did, really.” Doyoung says. “You were gone probably fifteen minutes before a new pack of werewolves rolled into the place. Kun and the others cleared out right away, but it wasn’t long before the new pack started to make trouble. Harassing the fairies in the corner, trying pick a fight with that poor Minotaur. You know I hate that kind of stuff. I tried to put a stop to it.”

Jungwoo frowns and you circle your arms around his shoulders, holding him against you.

“He went to talk to their alpha; and before we knew it Doyoung was on the floor, half the pack getting ready to attack.” Taeil tells you and Jungwoo. “He held his own pretty good, but there were too many of them, and even when Johnny went to go help, they were overwhelmed pretty quickly.” He shakes his head.

“Where is Johnny?” You ask. “And Renjun?”

“They both got in the fight before the rest of us.” Yuta cracks his knuckles. “Renjun’s been aching to get in a fight. He’s rather new, so he’s still got all that new blood energy, and it’s not enough for him to fight with us or even with our pups. Johnny took almost as bad a beating as Doyoung, but they broke his leg. He’s up in his room with Nurse Ten helping him heal.”

Chenle laughs. “Renjun’s fine now. Just pouting.”

You don’t hear anything, but all of the guys in the room suddenly look up at the ceiling. A few of them laugh and shake their heads, and you can only assume that Renjun heard Chenle’s comment and had a response.

“So how did you get them to clear out?” Jungwoo asks.

“I stood back up again once, bit their alpha and told them to fuck off. This is our part of the city.” He smiles, but there’s something off about it. “They probably won’t be back again. Their alpha looked furious some of his pack pulled him back looking scared, and all of them ran off with their tails between their legs.”

The room laughs, everyone sinking into a relaxed mood of chatting, drinking, and you finish your plate of food with Jungwoo leaning back against your chest.

On one of those rare sunny winter days, just a hair before Christmas, you wanted to get in some shopping while the weather was nice if not just a bit chilly. Your roommates are busy working, so you text Ten to come hang out with you while you shop.

You hadn’t seen him since that night at The Leaky Cauldron, not had you seen Johnny, but Jungwoo reassured you that Johnny, Doyoung, and Renjun’s pride were all back to normal.

Ten comes by your apartment to pick you up and then you head across town to the best area for shopping.

“You’re right to choose me to come shopping with you.” Ten says as you head into the first shop. “I can charm stuff to fit properly, so everything will always be your size. And if you’d be into shoplifting I can always bewitch anyone who’s looking our way, and I wouldn’t even tell Jungwoo if you don’t want me to.” He winks at you.

“No thanks on the shoplifting, but the size charming would be nice.”

And it truly is useful to have a witch as a shopping companion. Ten conjures up mirrors when there are none, magically tailors the clothes so they fit you right, and he just makes you laugh while also entertaining you with stories about Johnny and the rest of the coven.

It’s nice to have someone to talk with about everything, all the weird magical, mystical stuff you stepped into that night when you met Jungwoo. Ten provides you insight on the vampires and the werewolves and even on himself and Jisung as the only two witches.

“Our powers awake when we’re seven or fourteen. Some late-bloomers don’t see their powers until twenty-one.” Ten tells you as you browse through a store. “I think the wolves have their first change when puberty sets in. Jaehyun once told me that his voice started changing, and he had a really nasty sex dream, woke up three days later, naked in the woods, covered in mud and bits of loose fur. The most I had to deal with was accidentally setting stuff on fire when I got angry until I learned to control it.”

“And what about the vampires? Do you know all of their stories?” You ask, trying to play it off like you’re not specifically asking about Jungwoo’s story.

Ten glances sharply at you. “Doyoung’s the oldest. I think he’s been around since, like, the European Renaissance, but I don’t have an exact date, he always gets a bit mum on the subject when it comes up. Taeil is technically older than Doyoung, but he slept for about two hundred years after being a vampire for about thirty. Doyoung turned Taeyong, Jungwoo, and Jeno. Taeil turned Yuta and Johnny. Jeno turned Renjun in a haze of bloodlust right after being turned. John turned Chenle around that same time because the kid was dying in a hospital and John was a nurse there. That’s how I met him too. Spell gone wrong led to physical complications, and he was the sexy nurse I got to wake up to.”

You hold on to just that snippet he’d jammed into the middle of all that information. “Doyoung is the one that turned Jungwoo?”

Ten nods slowly and then keeps his mouth firmly shut.

“Oh, come on, Ten.” You reach for his arm, tugging lightly, trying to drag the answers out of him. “Tell me just a little bit more about what you know.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t tell you anything else about him. I don’t know much, and if Jungwoo hasn’t told you anything, then I shouldn’t either. But I can tell you anything you want to know about the other guys.”

You fold your arms over your chest and start walking away, not having found anything of interest in this store. “That’s no damn good, Ten.”

“Sorry.” He catches up to you. “But maybe Jungwoo has his reasons for not telling you about his past. It took me a while to get John to open up about who he was before he was turned, how long he’s been like this, if he’s ever killed anyone, all those interesting things about his past. But I didn’t wheedle, and one day he just opened up and told me. You have to be patient.” Ten stops outside a shop that from the outside just looks like a sex shop, but you try not to look too closely.

“I’m not going in there.” You stand with your back to the shop. You’re sure there are things in there that you could find interesting, that could give you ideas on stuff to do with Jungwoo, but you don’t want Ten (and probably, by extension, the other guys) to know about it. You stay planted firmly even as Ten takes a step closer to the door.

“I’ll be right back, then we’ll grab some coffee, okay?” Ten points at the door and then across the street to where the cafe stands. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in with me?”

“Positive.”

You hear his footsteps, the faint chime of a bell as he opens the door, and then you’re alone. Other holiday shoppers move along the sunny sidewalk, chattering, toting bags of gifts. You clutch a single purchase to your chest and watch all the people passing by. And then you see him.

Across the street, a man leans against the wall of the building directly across from you, mirroring your posture almost exactly. Standing tall, broad-shouldered with a wild mane of black hair, you could possibly have ignored him except that his wolfishly golden eyes are stuck on you, and his lips curve into a predatory smirk.

It sends a chill down your spine, raises the hairs on the back of your neck.

You’re about to turn and duck into the store where Ten is still shopping, but a crowd of people surrounds you, squeezing past you with all of their bags and coats and scarves, blocking your view and keeping you unable to move just then.

Once the crowd clears away you look back across the street and find that stretch of wall is bare.

You have about five seconds to sigh in relief before a shadow steps into your line of sight, a hot hand crushes your arm, and you’re abruptly jerked down a side alley. Your shopping bag falls from your hands right before you’re whipped around the corner and pushed up against the wall.

The man stands in front of you, his teeth bared, his eyes seeming to glow. His hand presses against your throat, just shy of too much pressure, and he leans in to sniff your hair.

“Blood whore.” He growls, the sound rumbling from low in his chest. “I could smell it on you from down the block. You smell like those vampires from the pub.”

You squirm, try to shove him away, but it’s useless. “Let me go!”

“I should crush you, whore.” The wolf leans back. “Show them that they can’t treat us like that and get away with it. That coven’s sire thinks that he can try to fuck over my alpha like that and we’ll not try and fuck over one of his? I know they aren’t wandering out of their little blood den, but they should keep a better handle on their blood whores. Can’t let them go wandering the streets unprotected.”

“She’s not unprotected.” A voice says.

You don’t even have time to look around, but you feel the werewolf stepping back his hand going a bit slack around your throat, and then he growls again.

“Back off.” Ten’s suddenly there, ducking under the wolf’s arm to squeeze between the two of you. His fingers crackle with green lightning, and he holds them just a few centimeters from the wolf’s skin. “One touch and you’re dead, pal. I’m packing 10,000 volts. You’d be dead before you knew it.”

The werewolf bares his yellow teeth, and you see them dripping with venom, his eyes gleaming a wolffish amber. A low growl starts to work its way up his throat.

Ten, although standing about a foot shorter than this burly wolf, stands his ground.

“I can smell it on you too, devil slut.” He makes a show of smelling the air around Ten. “The scent of that coven and that traitorous pack. Soulless creatures you and those vampires.”

Suddenly Ten’s other hand shoots up, flying at the werewolf’s face. He presses a single finger right between the man’s eyebrows.

The wolf falls back with a yelp, hands flying to his face as he scurries backwards. When his hands drop so he has room to glare at the both of you, you can see a bright red welt between his eyes.

“How many times have we got to tell you to leave us alone?” Ten asks, raising his hand that still glows zips and snaps with the green lightning.

You grab Ten’s arm and tug him toward the mouth of the alley. “Let’s go. Come on.” And you whisper, “Stop antagonizing him.”

But he doesn’t stop. Not yet.

He has to say one last thing before you go. “If I see you bothering any of us again I won’t hesitate, bitch.”

The werewolf’s mouth snaps shut and he lowers his gaze, chastised.

“Let’s go. We’ll finish your shopping, then head to the house.” Ten tells you, and then he whispers something under his breath. At your curious look he explains, “A spell to keep him from following us. I don’t look forward to actually having to electrocute a man to death. I just want a coffee and some pastries and my boyfriend.”

He glares up at the sun as if it is the one to blame for all of your troubles today. And maybe it is. If it had been an overcast day, perhaps you could have brought your boyfriend and Ten’s along, but the sun left them locked inside.

Jungwoo is livid once Ten hurries you inside the house, chanting another spell over the door and breaking the skin of his thumb to trace symbols around the doorframe.

“What’s happened? What’s wrong?” Jungwoo asks, appearing suddenly in the entryway, reaching for you immediately as if to check for injuries, but as soon as he touches you his brows furrow together. “Why do you smell like a filthy dog?”

“We were shopping and a werewolf from that pack found her.” Ten says, smearing his thumb in one last symbol over the doorway. “I think I scared him off by threatening to make him into a nicely cooked steak, but I’ve taken some other precautions to keep him and the rest of his pack off our trail.”

Jungwoo swears and moves over to the window so quickly that he blurs. He pushes aside the curtain, hisses as the last rays of sunlight push inside and scorch against his skin.

“I’m going out there to kill whoever touched you.” Jungwoo says, coming immediately back to your side, his hands sliding around you securely. His voice echoes with rage. “As soon as the sun is down. This is ridiculous. I’ve tried saving you in the past from humans. Creeps that stalk women through the night, I find them and convince them to stop their horrible ways. But werewolves. Fuck.”

“Hey, stop.” You press your hands to his chest, the cold of his skin burning against your palms. “You’re not killing anyone, Jungwoo. Cool down.”

Jungwoo doesn’t often get angry. You’ve never seen him quite like this. His hands shake with barely contained anger, and if he were alive his cheeks would be flushed red with anger.

“I wish I could rip the sun out of the sky,” Jungwoo lowers his forehead to yours, his hands come up to press your cheeks between his palms. “If I could just tear it away so I never had to be apart from you on a sunny day, I would gladly do that. If we could be normal and spend a day in the sun, where I wouldn’t have to worry about you getting into trouble where I can’t help you, that’s all I want.”

You press your hands over his, feeling them warming against your skin. “I want that too.”

Jungwoo lets out a faint breath and closes his eyes, slowly calming until you can no longer feel his hands shaking even slightly.

“That was cheesy and disgusting.” A voice says from the stairs.

You glance over and find Jeno, Renjun, and Chenle all hanging around the stairs. Chenle’s literally hanging from the banister. Jeno’s got his arms folded across his chest, watching you and Jungwoo embracing each other.

“Don’t you have chores to do before Doyoung wakes up?” Jungwoo asks, standing up tall, his hands falling away for just a moment before he clasps your hand.

The three young ones vanish in a hurry, and then you turn your attention back to Ten who’s still standing beside the front door, his face screwed up in concentration. When he notices you looking at him, though, he clears his face and moves around the pair of you, making for the stairs and probably his boyfriend’s room.

After a moment when the house has fallen silent once again, Jungwoo leads you into the library in the back corner of the house. You find Yuta sitting there, sitting so still he looks like a statue, but slowly you see him turn a page in the book in his lap. He ignores the pair of you, and Jungwoo ignores him, guiding you over to a comfy chair in the corner near the warm radiator.

Jungwoo grabs a book off a nearby shelf, sits down in the chair, pulls you down to sit on his lap, and then throws a blanket over the pair of you. You rest your head on his shoulder.

“Are you going to read to me?” You ask, settling in under the warmth of the blanket, against the solidness of your boyfriend. “What’s the book about?”

Jungwoo’s arm slides around you and he flips the book open. “Just close your eyes and listen. Don’t doze off.”

You do as he says: shut your eyes, stay quiet, listen intently to not fall asleep.

“It was the summer of 1743. Balmy, by all reports, and particularly overcast on the day our story begins. Angry gray clouds rolled through the sky, casting a small village in shadow, drowning the crops, turning the roads into mud. And it was on this day that a young woman gave birth to her second child, her son. As the storm threatened to blow apart her family’s humble home, she brought her son into the world and held him to her heart, and she dreamt.

“She dreamt of a rope, a long rope stretching forever out of sight over mountains and through forests, over oceans and into the stars. She dreamt of a house standing, strong and steady through a great storm, through a changing world. She dreamt of blood and fire and ice, terrible things, but also great. And when she woke, she saw her son in her arms and knew the world would be open to him, but not without a price.”

You split your eyes open for just a moment, long enough to look down at the book Jungwoo holds, long enough to tell that the story he’s telling you isn’t the one imprinted in those pages. It’s his story.

“The boy grew up under his mother’s careful supervision. She tried to direct him down paths that would keep him on the right path, that would make him into that steady home rather than the unending rope and the devastation she’d seen in her dream.” Jungwoo pauses for a moment. “But she never could have stopped fate, and that’s what her son told her after it happened, after he went down the path that would lead him far away from her, to a place where they could never meet again.”

You slide your hand over Jungwoo’s, lacing your fingers together and squeezing.

“I was twenty years old.” He tells you, his voice dropping quieter, more intimate. “I was in love with a girl from my village, and we were going to marry but I wanted us to have a good life for a good family, so I left the village and went to the city to get a good job in the port, and when I’d earned enough I would return home, marry her, and we’d begin a new life in the city.

“But things didn’t work out. Many people came through the port: sailors, soldiers, criminals, and many that even I didn’t know of at the time. Dark things that I only believed to be stories.

“I met Doyoung a month or two into my work. He seemed like a perfectly normal human. He stepped off a ship looking like a scholar, and he was friendly, making conversation with me. I saw him around for several days while a heavy storm seemed to hang over the city, attempting to drown everyone. At first, I thought he was studying us because he seemed to ask lots of questions and watched us carefully and took notes in this book he carried around. Then one night I was heading back to the small shack that I called home. I remember it had a leaky roof and a dirt floor, was about as big as my current bathroom, and I shared it with three other dockworkers.

“The night was dark and damp, chilly. I remember thinking how I was hungry, and couldn’t wait to get back home, to the village, to have some of my mother’s cooking and the stable home around me and my sweetheart in my arms.”

At that, you shift in his lap, and Jungwoo squeezes your hand and knocks a kiss against your cheek.

“I was almost back to the shack when suddenly a figure stood in front of me. I barely had the time to see his face before he had leapt upon me, dragging me down into the mud as he bit me. It fucking hurt so much that I lost consciousness. When I awoke the next morning, the storm had cleared and the sun shone down blindingly, and I felt horrible so I blew off work and decided I’d had enough. I packed up my few possessions and immediately headed home to my village.

“If I’d know that was my last day to feel the sunlight on my skin, I would have savored it more, but I rushed home, focused on the village and nothing else. I didn’t even notice that I was being followed by a heavily cloaked figure.”

Your head rolls on his shoulder as you let the sound of his voice, the even cadence of his story-telling lull you into a relaxed state. The heat of the nearby radiator and the comforting smell of the library and Jungwoo help that along, as well.

“Hey. Are you sleeping?” Jungwoo whispers, lifting his shoulder just enough that it would have jolted you awake if you were sleeping.

You shake your head. “No, but I’m starting to feel sleepy.” You tilt your head just a bit, and your lips brush his skin, soft and warm now. “Keep talking, I like hearing your story.”

His fingers touch your cheek, lightly pushing a bit of your hair off your face, and then he continues right where he left off.  “I got home to my village and the first thing I did was visit my mother. She was happy to see me, but she told me that there was something different about me. At that point, I’d just assumed that it was her not having seen me for several months, the tan shade of my skin and the manual labor turning me into a man slightly different than the boy she’d sent off not so long ago.

“Nothing seemed different to me. Not yet. Except that I was hungry and thirsty, and although my mother fed me well right away, the feeling didn’t fade. I set out into the village to look for the girl I had hoped to marry.” At this, Jungwoo’s voice sinks even lower, and his fingers begin to play with yours distractedly, as if he’s avoiding the next bit.

You open your eyes and look up at his face. “Jungwoo?”

He sighs sadly. “I found her as night fell. She sat out behind her family’s home, cleaning the pot from their supper, and when she saw me she dropped it on the ground and it shattered. A shard of it sliced her finger, and in that moment I forgot everything else.

“Of all the things I’ve forgotten over the years, all the memories that have vanished or gone hazy, this one still sits crystal clear in my mind. I attacked her so quickly, she didn’t even have time to scream. The hunger inside me took over and I held her against the wall and drank every ounce of blood from her veins before I realized what I’d done. I remember the glint of firelight reflecting in her eyes. I remember the coldness of her fingers falling from my wrist. I remember the sound and weight of her body hitting the ground.

“And then the pain began.” Jungwoo closes his eyes, a pained expression coming across his face. “It burned through me, hot and stabbing, like the feeling of tingly needles when your foot falls asleep or something like that. But it was all over my body, and I know that I must have screamed, I must have cried, and not only from the physical pain that overwhelmed me entirely, but also the pain of realizing what I’d just done. I wanted to go to her, to hold her and cry over her, but I couldn’t have moved if I’d tried.

“Then Doyoung appeared, grabbed me by the arm, and dragged me away into the darkness of the village. That night he sat with me in the forest while the transformation took over my body. He hid us away in an abandoned house when the day came, and when night fell again I was aware enough that he finally explained everything to me. That I was a vampire. That if I could have resisted feeding for just three days, then I would have been fine. That he was sorry that he’d done this to me.

“I hoped that maybe my girl would have the same fate as me. That she would have risen that day I spent transforming, that she would be wandering the village and if she resisted feeding she could go on as normal. But Doyoung told me that I’d drained her, and those that are drained entirely have no hope of rising again. That’s why I’m always careful when I drink now. If I take too much it could kill. If I just drink a bit, that person will be fine so long as they don’t feed. And if that person’s a werewolf, they go on unaffected by my venom.”

You sit up straight then and look him in the eyes. “Are you telling me that all these times I’ve let you bite me, I could’ve easily become a vampire if someone around me got so much as a papercut?”

Jungwoo slowly nods. “But I’ve made sure not to let that happen. Haven’t you noticed I don’t usually let you out of my sight for about three days after I’ve bitten you. I’m keeping an eye on you. I don’t want to inflict this on you. I would stop you the moment you moved to bite someone.”

You frown and fold your arms over your chest. “Seems risky to me. Ten told me that Jeno accidentally turned Renjun. Who was supposed to be watching him?”

“Hey!”

Jeno suddenly appears stepping out from the shadow of one of the bookshelves. Renjun and Chenle appear behind him, and as you look around, you realize that several of the other vampires are hidden in the shadows around the room, all of them eavesdropping on Jungwoo’s story. You wonder how many of them have actually heard it.

“Ten! Stop spreading gossip about us!” Jeno cries out. Renjun laughs and throws his arm over the other boy’s shoulders. “It’s true, but still.”

Jungwoo shyly tucks his face into your shoulder. “I didn’t realize you were all listening.”

“We wanted to hear too.” Yuta’s still sitting rigidly across the room in the spot he’d been when you both came in. He sits his book down. “Keep talking. Jungwoo rarely talks about his past. If we weren’t there for it, we’re unlikely to know. So talk, Jungwoo.”

Pulling his face out of your shoulder, Jungwoo begins again. “That night, after he finished explaining everything to me, Doyoung let me return to my parents’ home one last time. To say goodbye. My mother took one look at me, and I think she knew right then. She saw I’d grown paler, my eyes were reddish, and I think she saw in my eyes all those things she’d seen in her dream the night I was born. She saw chaos and fire and bloodshed, an endless rope stretching into infinity. She wept.

“I left after telling her and my father and my sister that I loved them, but I had to leave. That I likely wasn’t ever coming back, and I know that scared my father and sister, but my mother must have had some idea of what had happened to me, and I think she was more relieved than anything else to get this monster away from her family. But she let me hug her and tell her I loved her, and then I left with Doyoung.

“We traveled for a while, sailing around the world for what seemed such a brief time, but decades passed in the blink of an eye. And then we found ourselves near home again, and I had control over myself and our family was bigger. Taeil was awake by this point, Taeyong was fitting in, Yuta had just been turned. Doyoung had better things to focus on than me wandering off to run through the countryside and find my old village. I didn’t expect it to be the same, but I didn’t expect it to be much different either. I think I almost believed I’d find my parents and sister sitting at our home, looking exactly as they had when we left. But our home was empty, the garden my mother had tended was overgrown. Two headstones in the village cemetery bore my parents’ names and an old man I passed had answers for my sister’s whereabouts.

“Two villages away, she was grown old, all wrinkly with a husband who knew nothing of her little brother. She had children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Seventy years had passed in that blink of an eye that I’d been traveling with Doyoung and Taeil. But she recognized me the moment I came up to her. I think she thought at first that she’d died, that I was just greeting her into the afterlife, but it took her a few hours to realize I was there, still young even though I should have been wrinkled and old like her. We had a good day, catching up, talking about her family and her life, and me telling her about the places I’d been, the people I’d met.

“Two months later, she passed in her sleep. I’ve loosely kept track of her descendants over the years. My living relatives that know of that family legend that their great-great-great-and more greats grandmother’s brother was a vampire. Many don’t believe it, I know, but some of them do. Some of them know me exactly as such, but it’s rare that I actually see any of them. We usually travel often, and my relatives then can’t find me then, but I know where they are. I still have them even in a small degree when I can’t handle all of these fools.”

The vampires that have gathered to hear Jungwoo’s story all begin grumbling at that, but he offers up a placating smile.

“So your sister’s descendants and this coven,” You ask, drawing Jungwoo’s attention back to you. “Are these the only relationships you’ve had over the centuries?”

He shakes his head. “We’ve traveled the world. I’ve met a lot of interesting people. We all have. But you don’t want to hear about them.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see the vampires fading away, leaving the room. Even Yuta leaves until you and Jungwoo are alone in the library. A heavy silence hangs between you as you run his words through your mind.

“Do I not want to hear about them, or you just don’t want to talk about them?” You situate yourself more comfortably in his lap, your arms wound around his neck, straddling him in this chair. In a teasing tone, you say, “Do you think I’ll be jealous when I hear about your past partners? Do you think I’ll call you a slut when you tell me your number?”

Jungwoo smiles at your tone. “One hundred and fifty, give or take a few. That’s my number. Some were just flings. Some were whirlwind romances like the type you see in films. But none of them have been like you.”

You slide your fingers up into his hair and grip, tugging it lightly. “I bet you say that to everyone.” You lean forward and lick at his neck, quickly following it with a short bite. Jungwoo’s low groan sends a bolt of heat down to your pussy. “And that’s a high number for someone who once told me that he was a modest gentlemanly sort. Some might call you slutty, Jungwoo.” You kiss his throat again and this time you feel him moan, it vibrates beneath your lips, and you smirk while grinding down on his lap. “Do you want me to call you a slut?”

He laughs, and it’s so light and sweet that you almost forget that you’re in the process of attempting to seduce him. Jungwoo’s hands tickle down your sides, and soon you’re laughing and crying, collapsing forward against his chest and begging him to stop.

“They can all hear us if we continue this here.” Jungwoo whispers against your ear. “My room’s sound-proofed a bit. Should we move this up there?”

You shake your head and rest it on his chest. “No. I’m fine here. It’s comfy.”

“Alright.” Jungwoo’s hands fall to your hips, and for a few moments the two of you remain like that, soaking in the quiet of the house, the heat of the radiator, the smell of the books. Distantly you can hear voices somewhere in the house and footsteps upstairs. Outside, the sky grows darker and you know the coven is preparing to be able to leave the house, but you and Jungwoo don’t move for a while.

When Jungwoo starts moving his fingers, at first he only traces shapes against the back of your jeans, over your ass. You ignore him. But then his hands go still, fingers digging into your soft flesh, and he starts to move you, dragging you forward then pulling you back, grinding you against him. You clutch at his shoulders, bury your face in, and stay quiet as the friction between your jeans and Jungwoo’s begins to affect you both.

You can feel his erection growing harder and harder against you, and you’re certain you’re soaking through your panties.

“Jungwoo.” You whine, your nails scrape over his shoulders.

“Shh, quiet.” One of his hands leaves your ass in favor of stroking your back soothingly. You begin to make your own pace in grinding against him, growing needier the longer this goes on.

When you begin whimpering, needing more than this, Jungwoo nudges you backwards off his lap and gestures to your pants. You quickly step out of them, kicking them off, and letting your panties follow. Jungwoo drags you back into his lap, immediately sealing his lips with yours, and he tugs the blanket up securely over your shoulders, draped down over your back like a cape, hiding you from the view of anyone who might happen into the room.

You reach down for his pants, unfastening them and then plunging your hand inside to finally touch his cock. You take pleasure in the sight of Jungwoo’s head falling back, his eyes fluttering shut to hide their sudden red irises, and he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, and you can see his fangs digging into his lip. You stroke his cock, rubbing your thumb over the tip to spread his precum.

“So pretty, my monster.” You whisper, leaning in again to kiss his neck.

“Don’t tease.” He growls, and then he’s captured your lips in a kiss again, his hand knocks yours away, and in a moment he’s drawn you closer with you kneeling up over his erection, ready for you to sit down on him, which you immediately do with a sound of pleasure.

Jungwoo laughs a little and pulls you closer to tuck his face into the crook of your shoulder.

“They can hear us.” He whispers to you.

“Let them listen. I just need you.” You moan and drag your nails over his shoulders and down his spine while his hands grip at your thighs, moving you on his cock. “God, Jungwoo. You feel so good, I don’t care about them.” The blanket slips over your shoulders, falling down around your hips, and the cold air bites into your heated skin. Jungwoo’s cock stretches you as you shift in his lap, taking him in just that much deeper.

He laughs again, licking over your collarbone. “Keep up a running commentary and I’ll never let you have a peaceful moment again,” Jungwoo growls to someone that you can’t see.

A moment later, even you can hear the music blaring from the floors above, so many different songs that they blend together into a tragic mess of noise, drowning out any sounds you and Jungwoo might be making. The music is so loud that the rest of the coven can’t hear you shriek in delight when he lifts you up, and the moan when he presses your back against a nearby bookshelf. They can’t hear the moans he draws out of you, the quiet laughter that you each give against each others mouths, or the way that you call him a slut, and that just makes him laugh harder and pull you tighter, drag his thumb over your clit, thrust into you harder and deeper.

He doesn’t cum inside you. He waits until after you’ve cum, then pulls out and you drop to your knees and jerk him off over your tongue. You close your lips around his tip, jerk your hand up his length, and gaze up into his hungry red eyes.

Jungwoo cums in spurts, filling your mouth, and he quickly falls to his knees to kiss you hungrily down onto the library floor. You tangle together again, Jungwoo’s cum is quickly kissed from your mouth, and his cock once again inside you.

You fuck on the library floor until you’re pushing against his chest, telling him you can’t take anymore. He rolls onto his side, grabs the blanket, and drags it over you, once more hiding your body from his view. You close your eyes for a few moments. It’s tempting to fall asleep, but Jungwoo’s story is echoing in your mind, and through it all you can’t help but wonder. . .

“Why did you decide to tell me about your past?” You ask, brushing your fingers along the line of your boyfriend’s jaw. Jungwoo turns his head, his hand captures yours and he draws your fingertips to his lips for a brief moment. “I’ve been asking for you to give me your story for weeks. What changed?”

In the quiet that follows your question, music continues to boom from upstairs, and Jungwoo stares at you for a few long seconds, his gaze flicking over your face. Jungwoo reaches for your hand and draws it up toward his lips.

“It’s one of my least favorite things about being like this. Knowing that I fall so easily for humans who it’s inevitable that I will someday lose. Knowing that I can’t go out in the daylight, can’t have that one speck of normalcy, that I can’t be there in the daylight to protect the ones I love.” He fiddles with your fingers. “I’ve lost people during the daytime before, suddenly and also when it was expected, but because of being like this I haven’t been able to be there for them. Many of them didn’t know why I couldn’t ever be there with them. I haven’t told many of them about who I am.

“I can’t lose you. Not like I’ve lost all of them. I can’t lose you, knowing that you don’t know my story.” His mouth leaves several warm kisses down your wrist and arm. “I love you with my whole heart, and with what happened earlier, I knew I had to tell you. I want us to know everything about each other. Your story, my story. Tell me your story, my sunshine.”

You smile and scoot closer to rest your head on his shoulder. “Well, when I was born…”

As Christmas edged nearer, the weather outside turned sharper and colder. The days and nights were filled with heavy snowfall. There were several days where you were snowed in, stuck in your apartment on the other side of the city from Jungwoo and you couldn’t even call him because he still didn’t have a phone.

Finally, on Christmas Eve, there’s a break in the snow, and you need a break from your roommates, so you flee the apartment, claiming you’re going on a run for food.

“We know you’re going to see your boyfriend!” One of them calls as you tangle a scarf around your neck and face. “Don’t hurry back, babe! I’m sure he’ll keep you nice and warm through the rest of these cold winter nights.”  

“Maybe he will.” You slip your coat on, and look back over your shoulder to where you can see your roommates sitting together on the couch, huddled under a blanket together, watching some sappy Christmas movie that’s playing on TV while they finish off a bottle of cheap wine. “I’ll text if I’m not coming back later.”

They coo at you as you walk out the door, leaving them to their Christmas movies and wine.

The coven’s house is warmer than usual when you walk in, not only in temperature, but in light and volume. It’s decorated for the holiday season. A tall Christmas tree stands beside the front door, lit up with golden lights and a star on the top, red and blue and silver and gold ornaments drip from the branches. Garland hangs from the banister, you half expect to see mistletoe hanging in the doorways, but as you unwind your scarf from your throat and hang it and your coat on the hooks beside the door, you notice no mistletoe.

But you do hear laughter coming from the back of the house, and lights are on in every corner. Even Doyoung’s usually dismally dark living room, typically furnished with coffins, has a much lighter feel to it. And when you step inside, it’s made even more obvious that the room has changed from the style it normally is decorated in.

There is an overturned table, cards scattered across the floor, a spilled bottle that looks like it’s either red wine or blood, and a ring of clothes are spread around in that whole mess. Extremely curious and also a bit wary, you pass through the room and pause when you reach the doorway into the kitchen.

It’s one thing to see a pile of drunk boys arm wrestling, tossing steak knives into the wall, and playing poker, but it’s a true sight when it’s a pile of drunk vampires, witches, and a handful of werewolves arm wrestling, throwing knives, and cheating at strip poker. You don’t even know some of them, but one thing is certain, they’re all drunk and acting very male.

You try your best to not look at an almost naked Jaehyun sitting on the lap of an entirely naked Taeyong. Various members of the coven and the pack are in similar states of undress, but you only look at Jungwoo, his crooked smile and bright eyes dragging at you from where he sits with his hand in Lucas’s, both of them with their elbows on the table as the arm wrestle.

“What is going on?” You let the joyful atmosphere sweep you into the room.

“The weather trapped us in here.” Lucas tells you, furrowing his brows, apparently determined to defeat your boyfriend. “We had to entertain ourselves, so beer, blood, and other bad ideas. And tomorrow’s Christmas, so we’re celebrating.”

You come to stand beside Jungwoo, put your hand on his shoulder, and as you do that, Lucas looks at your fingers and for just that moment his attention shifts just enough. . .

Crack!

Heads turn to see the sight of Lucas on the floor, Jungwoo crouched over him, pressing Lucas’s hand to the floor in defeat. Victoriously, Jungwoo grins, offers one boast of “I won!” and then he helps the werewolf back to his feet. They fall back into their seats while laughing, and Jungwoo gazed up at you.

“Hello, sunshine. Care for a seat?” He leans back and spreads his legs just enough that you can tell he means for you to sit on his lap, so you do just that. His strong arms (strong enough to defeat a distracted werewolf in an arm wrestling match anyway) encircle your waist and he tucks his chin over your shoulder.

“Sorry.” He murmurs as you shiver at his touch, the cold of his skin seeming quite intense, though you can already feel him warming. “Is the storm over?”

You shake your head. “Just a break, I think. I figured I’d be happier locked in with you here than with my roommates at the apartment. They’re bickering like an old married couple. I wish they would just sort out their issues once and for all. I hope you don’t mind me inviting myself over?”

Jungwoo smiles at the same moment that Lucas lets out a snort of laughter.

“It’s Christmas, sunshine. And when have I ever said no to your company?” He pushes his fingers into your hair and plays with it for a moment, watching you quietly while the dull roar of the rest of the room continues. It takes Lucas loudly clearing his throat to pull you and Jungwoo out of what must have appeared to be lovestruck gazing into each other’s eyes.

“So,” You sit up and glance around the kitchen, taking notice of who is there and who isn’t. You see Ten squished between a shirtless Johnny and Yuta, who looks like he’s clinging to the shirt he’s wearing by removing random accessories now. Ten howls with laughter at Yuta’s ridiculousness, and then he leans in to whisper in Johnny’s ear, putting a smile on both of their faces. And sitting on Johnny’s other side is someone who you don’t know. “Who are the new people?”

Jungwoo fits you into his lap a little more securely and warmly, then begins answering you.

The tall skinny boy beside Johnny is a witch who goes by the name BamBam. A broody looking vampire Jungwoo calls Yuto stands across the room weighing a knife in his hand, waiting his turn to pitch it across the room at the mark. Then there’s the werewolf, the vampire, the witch, and the vampire-witch hybrid who have clumped together near the fridge and somehow brought Doyoung into their seclusion. Vernon, Jun, Wonwoo, and Minghao are their names, Jungwoo whispers in your ear.

“What are they all doing here?”

“The witches are friends with Ten. He and Johnny invites them over to cast some strong protection charms over all of us while that pack is still out there.” Jungwoo’s hand rubs over your thigh. “Yuta and Yuto have been friends forever, since before either of them was turned, so he comes around sometimes, occasionally brings some of his coven to our parties.”

His hand slides higher on your thigh, closer to your crotch, and you tense slightly thinking that surely he doesn’t think you’d let him finger you in a room packed full of beings with supernaturally enhanced senses.

“The Seventeen crew,” He nods at the group near the fridge. “They’re a bit like us, vampires and wolves and witches and a few hybrids and humans. Jaehyun says that a member of their pack goes to your school too. He plays basketball with Jaehyun, so he’s invited them to parties before.”

Jungwoo’s hand is now right at the apex of your thighs, and for the first time you wish that you were wearing more than some leggings because as his finger begins to surreptitiously draw circles over your clit you feel it all perfectly. In seconds you’re wet and throbbing, trying to keep your heartbeat under control.

When you notice Lucas, who’s still sitting right across from you both at this small table, his nostrils flare for a moment as if he’s sniffing the air. His eyes flash briefly and then narrow as he looks at the two of you.

You grab Jungwoo’s wrist and pry his hand away, jamming your legs together as if that’s going to fix how turned on you are now.

Looking for an escape, you notice that none of the young vampires or werewolves or the young witch are in the room.

“Where are the kids?” You stand, drifting quickly across the room, avoiding the glare of a blade as it shoots toward the target, and then you’re out in the hallway. You take a deep breath of cool, dusty air.

The library is too quiet to have anyone in it, but you think you hear a peal of laughter coming from the entertainment room. You’ve just peered around the doorway when Jungwoo materializes begins you, his hands on your hips, his crotch pressed to your ass, and he kisses your neck with a brief graze of his fangs on your skin.

“Come up to bed with me?” He suggests.

The entertainment room is half-dark. All the windows are heavily curtained against the weak daylight outside, but the large TV on the one wall of the room is illuminated revealing a large amount of young boys piled together on the cushy sofa and the floor, watching movies and snacking or drinking. A much tamer version of what’s happening in the kitchen, which is somewhat unexpected considering that they’re usually the wilder bunch.

“My sweet, sweet sunshine.” Jungwoo’s voice is nearly a purr against your skin, his fingertips sneaking under your clothes.

You bat his hands away and turn around in his arms, lift up on your toes, and kiss him. Jungwoo wraps you up, his hands on your waist, and he sweeps you off the floor, carrying you in his arms, quickly up the stairs.

“Why are you so horny?” You laugh a second later as Jungwoo drops you onto his bed. “You couldn’t even wait long enough to walk up the stairs at a normal human speed? You had to use your vampire speed?”

Jungwoo hums a noise of confirmation and climbs onto the bed, already pulling his shirt over his head, and making quick work of your leggings, tossing both off the bed as he covers you with his body, pressing you down into the mattress. His hands move over your thighs, thumbs brushing against the sensitive skin, and you sigh and let him open your legs wider for him.

“Must be something about the cold, something about how warm you are.” Jungwoo whispers in your ear, his voice a dangerous purr, and he licks a stripe up your throat and a second later lets you feel his fangs.

The cold pads of his fingertips run up over your hip, under your shirt, sending waves of goosebumps over your skin.

“Jungwoo,” You moan, reaching for his hand. “Stop teasing me.”

For a moment you think that he’s impossibly not heard you. He tugs your sweater over your head, then the shirt you’d worn beneath it, and when his fingers pluck delicately at the straps of your bra, guiding them off your shoulders before he suddenly reaches around, somehow sneaking his hand under your body, he unfastens your bra. You lie there almost entirely naked beneath him, and he smiles, thumbing over one of your nipples.

“If I’m going to feel your warmth, I should feel it properly, right?” And then his fingers are between your legs, icy against the heat of your wet pussy soaking through your panties. “Do you want me to use you to feel warm, sunshine?”

A new shiver rolls through you when he says those words. Use you. You want Jungwoo to use you. For heat, for pleasure, for blood, for whatever he wants. That thought scares you just a little bit, so far gone for Jungwoo, enraptured by him that you don’t care what he wants to take from you, you’ll freely give it to him.

“Use me. Please.”

You push your hips up, aching for him to take you.

When Jungwoo’s fingers dig into the back of your neck, pulling you up into a sitting position, you go with it. When his thumb moves over your bottom lip, you let your mouth fall open. And when Jungwoo pushes his pants down to expose his erection, you look up at him expectantly.

Jungwoo’s fingers tangle in your hair and he pulls you as far down on his cock as you can go. You gag and reach a hand up to his hip, bracing yourself, still holding eye contact with him. Then you swallow and sink your throat the rest of the way down his cock, your nose presses into his abdomen, his cock buried down your throat.

“Fuck,” Jungwoo’s fingers tighten in your hair. “You feel so good. So warm.”

He pulls back on your hair, drawing his cock out of your mouth just a bit before he pushes back in, keeping a solid grip on your hair to control the pace. You can feel the saliva dripping out of the corners of your mouth, and you’re certain you must look obscene, but Jungwoo looks at you the same as he has every other time he’s seen you, like you’re an angel. His angel.

“You’re so pretty stuffed full with my dick, choking on me.” He swears and leans back when you gag around him again.

Jungwoo drags you back all the way down on him again so that your face is pressed fully into his abdomen. With one hand on the back of your head and the other gripping your chin, he fucks your mouth hard and fast.

Your hand slips from his hip down to his thigh, and you squeeze tightly, just trying to anchor yourself.

“You good?” Jungwoo groans, slowly slightly, but when you moan and push to take him in again, he resumes the bruising pace, going just as hard but somehow with a gentleness behind it that you can’t miss. “I’m going to cum. Are you going to take it like a good girl?”

Moaning, you dig your nails in even while Jungwoo draws you back, pulling almost entirely out of your mouth until only the pink head of his cock sits on your tongue. Your throat feels a bit raw, but you swallow, lift your gaze to Jungwoo’s reddish eyes, and suck lightly on the tip.

“Oh, my angel. You’re so perfect.” He moans, and again he thrusts smoothly down your throat, choking you on his cock. Your nails dig in, and if Jungwoo were alive or not a vampire, you’re sure you’d be drawing blood with how deeply your nails dig. Jungwoo rocks into your mouth a few times, hard and fast, his hands in your hair holding your head in place.

You wish you could see his face as he cums in spurts down your throat, moaning brokenly as his orgasm tears through him. But your face is smushed against his abdomen, and all that you know in the universe is the heat of your body echoed back at you from his skin and the pulse of his orgasm shooting down your throat.

When at last he lets you up to breathe and release your hair, you sit back and stare up at him while sucking at your bottom lip. Your mouth feels puffy, your throat raw, and you know that your chin and the area around your mouth are probably all slobbery.

You’re still looking up at him, not really seeing him, when Jungwoo reaches down and wipes at your chin with his thumb. You come back to yourself a bit then, shivering at his touch.

“Still want me to use you, sunshine?” He asks.

You nod wordlessly, not sure if you can make any sound after the beating your throat just took.

“Think you can warm me up?” Jungwoo’s smile, which so often resembles that of a cherub, is now sharp and seductive, predatory and you’re the prey caught under the gleam of his bloody gaze.

He sits down on the bed and his hand trails over your thigh until you swing a leg over his lap and sit facing him.

You drape your arms around his neck and shift closer, pressing your front to his, not a breath of space between your bodies. A brush of your lips against his throat, tentative and light, draws a gasp and then a chuckle from Jungwoo. You do it again, this time with a scrape of your teeth.

Jungwoo moves so quickly it takes you a few seconds to realize that he’s changed your positions, flipped you over onto your back, his hand lightly presses on your throat, and his lips send small zips of pleasure through you as he kisses down your sternum.

Just as you think he’s going to keep going, he moves his mouth to one of your tits.

You whine involuntarily.

His lips curl into a smile, and he pulls back from your chest to hover over your face. “What do you want?” Jungwoo manages to make his voice teasing and hard at the same time. “What was that sound for?”

Even as he asks that of you, his hand sneaks down between your legs again at last and finds that you’ve completely soaked through your panties. Another involuntary noise leaves you, and your hips lift to his touch.

Jungwoo growls lowly, his hands grab at your hips, fingers digging in roughly as he twists you around onto your belly. He tears your panties down to your knees, kneads your ass for a moment before he dips his fingers into the space between your thighs, slipping through your wetness.

He pushes into you suddenly, thrusting in deeply, and you feel your insides curling with pleasure. Jungwoo’s roughness is a turn-on, each slam of his cock inside your pussy forces another wail of pleasure from you. Jungwoo holds your hips tightly and he bends forward over you, and growls in your ear.

You’re not sure what’s hot him in such an animalistic mood, but he keeps growling and moaning as he fucks you, spitting dirty words and phrases as he fucks you into the mattress.

Jungwoo feels so rough and hot, reaching so deep inside you, that tears are forced to your eyes. You twist your fingers in the sheets, crying from the pleasure, babbling nonsense which only gets more nonsensical when Jungwoo’s hand slaps against your ass. It stings for a moment, blurring into pleasure.

“Cum for me.” He moans in your ear, hand coming down on your ass again as he thrusts several times shallowly into you. “I’ve been missing this. Needed you these past few days, needed you under me, need you to cum.”

“Then fuck me right. Deeper.” You look back over your shoulder at him.

Jungwoo’s fangs are on full display, his eyes a bloody red, and he looks very much like he’s holding back from tearing into you, from his orgasm. He looks every bit a monster, but somehow that doesn’t scare you at all because he’s still Jungwoo, still soft under all those sharp edges and vivid eyes.

He holds your gaze as he sinks fully into you, as deep as he can be. You let out a long wavering noise, and then you fall apart.

Your orgasm pulses through you, and you drop your head to the mattress, burying your face in the sheets to muffle your cries and wipe away your tears.

Jungwoo flattens himself against you. His hands slide up, along the length of your arms until his fingers lace through yours, and he keeps thrusting shortly but deeply, sending flares through your core that extend your orgasm until Jungwoo’s mouth closes around your shoulder.

There’s no bite of his fangs, but his teeth do dig into your shoulder, his lips soft on your skin, and when Jungwoo moans they vibrate through you and his cum warms you from the inside out.

Jungwoo’s arms slip under your body, hugging you against him, and you stay like that for several minutes until loud laughter and rumbling footsteps sound from outside the door. Jungwoo rolls off of you then, his softened cock leaving you empty but for the semen that drips out of you as your pussy clenches around nothing.

You flip over onto your back and Jungwoo tucks into your side, back to normal, acting a bit small and sweet.

Overhead, the ceiling shakes and you have a feeling that the young vampires and the werewolves might be playing around up there. A howl of pain from up there only supports that, but then the house falls silent again, for just a moment or two before Jungwoo decides to fill the quiet. He hums first, and then slowly begins singing as outside the house the sun breaks through the cover of the clouds for the first time in days. It fills the room with a warm yellow haze, spread over the floor on the other side of the room, and Jungwoo sighs a little sadly, but he doesn’t let it weigh him down for long.

“You are my sunshine…” Jungwoo sings, dropping sweet kisses along your upper arm, over your shoulder, to your throat. When you crack a smile, he bursts into laughter, which he quickly tucks into the crook of your neck. “I seriously love you.”

You slide your fingers into his hair, rubbing soothingly at his scalp. “I seriously love you too, Jungwoo.”

The sunlight doesn’t last long, soon the clouds roll back in, and the snow of the morning turns to rain. After a while, even the rain just turns to mist, hanging gray and damp in the air as the snow on the streets and sidewalks dissolved into grimy slush.

You and Jungwoo move back downstairs after a while, and find that half of the party has moved into the entertainment room, piled together to watch a movie.

Jungwoo pulls you into the room, and situates you on his lap where you sit beside Doyoung and Yuta on one side and a sleepy witch, who you believe Jungwoo called Wonwoo, on your other side. Johnny and Ten are tangled together in a nest of blankets on the floor, and you’re pretty sure that Jaehyun and Taeyong are making out at the pool table because the crack of pool balls against each other stopped several minutes ago, but you can hear them whispering to each other.

Jungwoo rests his chin on your shoulder as the afternoon fades into night. The film on screen changes from whatever was on before to a Christmas film at WinWin’s insistence, which Yuta and Taeil were only too happy to endorse. The members of the coven and the pack and the guests that fill the room fluctuates over the hours, but you and Jungwoo stay right where you are. You tuck your face against his shoulder and doze, passing in and out of sleep depending on the volume in the room.

At one point you wake, and the room is empty except for you and Jungwoo, everything is dark and you’re lying down on the couch with Jungwoo behind you. You slip back under before he can even notice you’re awake.

The next time you wake, Lucas is crouched in front of you, talking to Jungwoo in a low voice.

“..so sweet.” He whispers, and you keep your eyes mostly closed so you can eavesdrop a bit before they know you’re awake. “I could almost taste it in the air.”

Jungwoo’s hand slides over your arm, tracing a delicate line down to your hand, and you feel his voice vibrating against your back when he speaks. “I’ve told you before what I think about that, Lucas.” There’s not quite a warning tone in his voice, but it raises your hair on end, and you shiver a bit. Jungwoo draws his hand away, as if it was his touch that caused your chill.

You twitch, reaching again for his hand, and then you remember that you were meant to be pretending to sleep.

“Don’t go,” You mumble, putting as much sleep into your voice as you can. “Give me your hand.”

Both of the boys laugh a bit, and Jungwoo clamps his hand around yours. You happily pull your joined hands up to your chest and settle back into him. You open your eyes and meet Lucas’s. His eyes gleam golden, and it’s from more than just the Christmas tree’s lights glowing through the doorway. He smiles down at you for a moment, before his gaze flicks back up to Jungwoo.

“I’ll see you next week. You can’t break tradition with our New Year’s Eve plans.” Lucas points at Jungwoo.

Jungwoo reaches up and grabs Lucas’s finger that’s pointed in his face, and says, “I won’t miss it.”

“Is this a boys-only event, or am I allowed?” You ask.

“You’re coming along, my sunshine.” Jungwoo kisses your cheek and drops his hold on Lucas’s finger. The werewolf immediately walks away, and before he disappears from the room, Jungwoo calls out, “See you next week, Lucas!” And you call out “Bye!”

The rest of the evening passes there on the sofa, making quiet conversation until a clearly drunk BamBam stumbles into the room, toting Minghao with him, and by all appearances they were planning to get up to some drunken spell-casting. That’s the point when you figure you should get up off the sofa to see what the rest of the supernatural beings you’ve surrounded yourself with are up to.

Stepping into the kitchen is somehow more chaotic now than it was hours ago when you arrived at the house. Because someone decided to bake, someone else decided to cook, and most of the room decided to eat. Jaemin ducks under Kun’s arm to sniff at the pot on the stove while Mark and Vernon (the wolf from the Seventeen pack) look over Ten’s shoulder as he pulls something out of the oven.

Ingredients are scattered around the kitchen, flour hangs in the air like a mist, and as you step into the room you realize that the games of earlier are continuing as a knife narrowly misses Jungwoo.

“Sorry!” Yuta laughs, slinging his arm around Yuto’s shoulders and shaking the younger man. “His aim’s a bit fucked, but we’re working on it!”

A cat sneaks through the room, twisting between legs until finally it stops and curls itself around Ten’s ankles. The lithe black cat looks up at him and meows once, but even with the din of the room, Ten hears the soft sound.

He closes the oven door, sets the timer and then stoops down to scratch the cat behind the ears and scoop it up into his arms. Jeno hovers at his shoulder, cooing at the cat until Ten tells him to stop because she doesn’t like it.

You watch Ten look across the room to meet Johnny’s eye, and the smile they share is sweet, yet almost conspiratorial. Ten lifts the cat up to bury his face in her fur, and maybe he whispered something to her because the cat leaps from his arms and sets off as if on a mission.

Somewhere in the house, a grandfather clock strikes midnight.

Ten snaps his fingers and half of the lights in the house extinguish. There’s a yelp from upstairs and a moment later Taeyong appears looking frazzled. Jaehyun follows soon after, smoothing his hair down and tugging at his shirt but nothing can hide the large bruise on his throat.

“Everyone!” Ten calls, drawing the attention his light trick didn’t attract. “It’s Christmas now, and there are presents to be handed out.”

“What if we don’t celebrate Christmas?” Haechan chimes in from the doorway.

“Then just shut up and enjoy your present.” Ten responds without looking at the younger boy. “First up is our Taeyong.”

Ten waves his hand and a box appears in front of Taeyong. Taeyong tears it open, and he’s barely exclaimed in surprised joy at the stock of games inside when Ten’s moving on to the next person. Each name he calls out, a gift appears in front of them, even the visiting pack receive gifts, and finally only you and Jungwoo remain.

Johnny still laughing from his gift which he refuses to pull out of the box and won’t let anyone see. (But everyone can kind of guess what type of gift it must be based off the wink Ten gave him as he opened it.) Ten’s smile fades from devious to a normal, relaxed smile when he finally turns his gaze to you and your boyfriend.

“This is my favorite present I’m giving tonight.” Ten’s voice drops to a calm, quiet level. “I’ve watched the two of you, in a totally non-creepy way. I know how difficult it is for a human or a witch or a werewolf to be with a vampire who can never step outside in daylight. Jungwoo, I know how greatly you wish you could be there for her, with her when she walks through the streets on a spring day. You’re a romantist, and I’m sure you’ve thought about seeing the cherry blossoms together, if only you could.

“So, here is my gift to the pair of you.” He crouches down, and the black cat streaks back into the room, and Ten pets her and murmurs something rhythmic under his breath that can only be a spell of some sort. The cat shivers and begins meowing, and it’s almost disturbing to see the way that the bright green color of the cat’s eyes are swallowed by the black of the pupil.

The room is silent when Ten stands up. He takes a ring off his finger, and holds it out to Jungwoo.

“I’m giving you sunlight. I’m giving you freedom, Jungwoo.” When Jungwoo hesitates, Ten steps forward and grabs Jungwoo’s hand, pressing the ring into his palm. “It’s spelled to protect you, to allow you to walk out in the daylight so you can be together, so you can take her to all of those places she’s been dragging me to since she can’t be with you.”

You’ve been holding your breath this whole time, but finally you let it out, and with it comes a burst of tears.

Before you get the chance to envelop Ten in a hug, Jungwoo beats you there. Even though Ten is smaller than him, Jungwoo hides his face in Ten’s shoulder and presses him close, his voice muffled as he gives his thanks many times over.

You throw yourself in on the hug as soon as Jungwoo begins to peel himself away, and you’re still hugging Ten when Johnny comes over. He puts his hand low on Ten’s back and laughs, “Why are you giving Jungwoo a ring before you put a ring on my hand? I knew you were secretly in love with him.” Ten laughs as well, but when he grabs Johnny’s hand, you notice him trace a circle around Johnny’s ring finger, like a silent promise.

When you turn and look at Jungwoo, he’s staring down at his hand, at the elegant black ring. “This is incredible, Ten.”

“It’s nothing,” Ten waves his words away. “I’ve offered John a ring like this before, but he claims he’s a night owl and doesn’t really miss the sun. And the two of you are a special circumstance. Like, it’s actually a really complex spell, but for the two of you, it’s worth it. I hope you enjoy the sun again, Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo reaches for your hand, lacing your fingers together with his, “I’ll definitely enjoy the sunlight. Let’s go.” He nods toward the front of the house. “I want to watch the sunrise with you.”

You say goodbye to everyone, wish them a Merry Christmas, and head for the front door to put your layers back on against the frigid cold.

You’re about to walk out the door, Jungwoo bouncing giddily beside you even though night still lays thick and dark over everything outside, but you find your way is blocked.

“Doyoung?” Jungwoo can’t wipe the smile off his face even as he gives the older vampire a look of confusion.

Wordlessly, Doyoung reaches for Jungwoo’s hand and lifts it to inspect the band of Ten’s gift. He twists and turns Jungwoo’s hand, looking at the ring from every angle, and finally he drops the hand and instead wraps his arms around Jungwoo in a tight, somewhat fatherly hug.

“Doyoung, what are you doing?” Jungwoo hugs him in return, but pulls back to look at the elder’s face. “Why’re you hugging me?”

He jerks Jungwoo back into his hug. “That ring is good. Really good. From what I can tell, Ten made it the best of any I’ve ever seen, so you’re free to walk in daylight as much as you want.”

Jungwoo makes a face at you, and you smile but hide it behind your scarf which you wrap around your neck and lower face quickly. Jungwoo laughs a little, “Doyoung, are you, like, afraid I’m going to leave now or something? I’m not going anywhere. You’ve been stuck with me for hundreds of years, you can’t get rid of me this easily.” He squeezes Doyoung tightly until he groans and pushes out of Jungwoo’s arms.

“And, by the way, uh,” Doyoung rubs the back of his head and glances between Jungwoo and you before he says, “I’m sorry I never told you that it was possible to walk in sunlight. Spelled objects like this are difficult to come by, and there aren’t too many witches who are skilled enough to make them properly. I never wanted to get your hopes up, so I thought it best to keep it to myself. I didn’t even know Ten was powerful enough to do the spell.”

Jungwoo slips around behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, and you take his hand and hold it up so you too can inspect the ring.

He continues talking to Doyoung for a few moments, but you’re too busy tracing the fine lines over the surface of the ring, winding together—over and under each other in a complex pattern that you feel can almost spell out words—and coming together in a tight knot around a blue stone. It’s beautiful even if you didn’t know what magic it was endowed with.

You don’t notice Doyoung leaving, only Jungwoo spinning you around and guiding you out the door.

Jungwoo leads you across the city, up to the top of a building whose rooftop has been transformed into a greenspace, a park floating in the sky. Up there you’re above the rest of the city, a breeze licks at your hair, chilly against your cheeks,  it that gives you a good excuse to tuck into Jungwoo’s side as the pair of your settle down on a bench and look at the horizon.

As the edge of the navy sky fades into a pale peachy pink, Jungwoo’s hand tightens around yours, and you look up at him.

“Are you excited? Nervous?” You ask, and he looks down at you with something indecipherable in his eyes. “Scared?”

“What if it doesn’t work? What if the moment the sun’s rays reach us I’m fried? But also,” He takes a deep breath and let’s it sigh out of him again. “What if it does work? Then the world is completely open to me again. I’ll have all this freedom that hasn’t been possible for hundreds of years. It’s scary, knowing that there’s nothing anymore that can stop me from walking down a sunlit street with you, finally seeing you in broad daylight with the sun warm on your skin, bringing out new colors of you I haven’t yet discovered. I’m all of those things. Excited. Nervous. Scared. My future has been rewritten.”

You feel a shaky smile on your lips, warm tears rising to your eyes, and you rest your head on his shoulder. Maybe it’s silly to cry, but you feel so many emotions for Jungwoo right now. Love and excitement and pride and happiness and many other things that turn to tears and force their way out.

The sky grows lighter by degrees.

Navy to violet to peach and gold. Sapphire to lilac and blazing orange gilding the edges of clouds.

And then there she is. The sun. It peeks over the horizon, rising slowly, a molten ball of light breaking over the world.

You sit up and watch Jungwoo’s face, holding his hand in yours so tightly it hurts. You watch the light climb his body and reach his face, the warmth kissing his skin, and the sound he lets out breaks your heart and sweeps an enormous amount of love through your veins for this man sitting in front of you. His breath turns shaky and then he breaks altogether, tears leak from his eyes but he’s smiling, staring at the sun and all the colors of daybreak and then he looks at you and the aching smile on your lips, the sunlight warm on your skin as well.

“So beautiful.” Jungwoo laughs, his cheeks glittering with sunlit tears. “I can’t remember the last sunrise I saw, I’d almost forgotten.”

You tuck into his side again, curling up there on that bench that sits on top of the world. Later you’ll show him around the city, take him places that are closed by nightfall, but for now you’ll sit here with your boyfriend for his first sunrise in nearly three hundred years.

In the week between Christmas and the New Year, you don’t hardly spend a moment apart from Jungwoo. You finally bring him over to your apartment, introduce him to your roommates, beg him to spend the night when both of your roommates have to go out of town on some mysterious trip (although it doesn’t take much more than a Please and the slide of your hand over his thigh to get Jungwoo to stay). You spend a lot of time with the coven too, but now that Jungwoo can walk in daylight he wants to spend his days in the sun, although unfortunately it’s winter and many of the days are overcast, clouded over with thick gray clouds that unleash rain or snow or a combination of both.

Some days you and Jungwoo meet up with Ten or some of the wolves.

When Lucas found out about the ring on Jungwoo’s hand (thanks to the ring being all that the pack could talk about when they returned to the den that morning), he’d texted you and immediately came to where you and Jungwoo were.

Lucas was a constant third wheel to your party, but not like an unnecessary third wheel, more like the three of you were a tricycle, all three of you rolling along perfectly.

And New Year’s Eve was no different. You were meeting Jungwoo and Lucas at the Leaky Cauldron Pub, and it was a bit after seven when you arrived.

The pub was packed, and you were glad that the two guys had gotten there early enough to save a small table in the back corner, just big enough to sit the three of you if you squeezed in tight. Lucas was downing a beer when you walked in, and Jungwoo picked at an appetizer of nearly raw beef, but when you sat down they both straightened up.

“You’d think I’d be tired of the two of you by now.” You smile and sit down beside Jungwoo, slipping your coat and scarf off. “Happy New Year’s Eve. What’s our plan?”

“We’re doing it.” Lucas tips his beer to you. “Drinking our way into the new year.”

Jungwoo shakes his head. “That’s what Lucas is doing. Someone has to be responsible.”

“I won’t get drunk.” Lucas argues and waves at the bartender, signaling he would like another. Then to you he says, “It’s the worst part about being a wolf. My metabolism is too fast. I would have to chug an entire keg to feel properly buzzed, but that’s barely any fun. Jungwoo’s just a killjoy tonight.”

You slide your hand over Jungwoo’s and lean in to kiss him on the cheek. “Cheer up. We can watch the sunrise again. It’s not too late to catch a flight and be among the first people to see the new year’s sunrise.”

“That sounds amazing.” Jungwoo’s eyes go a bit unfocused, and you know he’s imagining it. “But maybe next year. We can go to Taeil’s island, make a big party out of it, and then you and I can ring in the new year on the beach.” He curls his arm around your shoulders and drags you in so he can press his lips into your hair.

Lucas crinkles his nose. “You’re not talking about fucking on the beach, are you? Right in front of me?”

Jungwoo’s head snaps toward the werewolf. You can’t see the look he’s giving him, but you can feel how tense Jungwoo is now. Your cheeks flush with heat because having beach sex with Jungwoo is exactly where your mind went to. Lucas breaks into a smile while he quickly buries in his new beer.

A silent conversation passes between them until finally Lucas pushes away from the table and moves over to the bar.

“What was that about?” You ask.

“Nothing. Lucas just says and thinks weird stuff sometimes. Nothing you need to worry about.” He kisses you again, as if that’s going to distract you from the weird vibe. Jungwoo pops a bloody piece of meat into his mouth, and you try to muffle the sound of your stomach growling, but it’s useless when your boyfriend (and half of the other people in the pub) have incredible hearing.

Just as he opens his mouth to say something about the rumble that was audible even to you, Lucas drops back down into his seat and slides a plate of several different types of appetizers across the table to you. “I’ll share so you don’t sound like you’ve got a pack of hungry wolves in your stomach.”  

The mood changes after that. Lucas drinks more, Jungwoo relaxes. It’s almost like nothing strange passed between them. The three of you laugh and drink and eat, and by ten o’clock the pub is even more packed than before. There’s barely room to move, and you, with your basic human hearing, can’t hardly follow anything that either Jungwoo or Lucas is saying.

“Can we get out of here?” You ask. Jungwoo nods, his gaze flicking over to Lucas who nods as well.

Jungwoo excuses himself to the pub’s only bathroom to clean blood off his face where it’s dripped from that raw meat he’s been snacking on. Lucas edges closer to you when Jungwoo squeezes his way through the place, and at first you can’t figure out why, but he keeps glancing over his shoulder, and when you follow his gaze you see two ancient warlocks, warped and grayed with age staring at you and licking their yellowed teeth.

You’re probably the only human in the pub, so you let Lucas sit as close to you as he can. He gives off waves of heat, and he smells like ginger and honey. Several minutes pass before either of you actually says anything.

“What’s taking Jungwoo so long?” Lucas asks, glancing toward the hall.

“I’ll go look for him.” You stand up, grab your coat, and sling your scarf around your throat. “You go pay.” Lucas nods, drains the last dregs of his beer, and walks to the bar to pay off the bill. The short hallway to the grimy bathroom is empty, and when you try the handle of the bathroom door, it opens easily to reveal an empty room.

And then you hear a scream.

Right across the hall from the bathroom is an exit door, and as you step back from the disgusting bathroom, you notice the door is cracked open, allowing in a biting breeze and a few flurries of snow. The edge of the door looks shredded, several lines of rended metal, the doorframe bent out of shape. Some familiar stench clouds the air, but you can’t quite place it. Then you hear ;oud, worried voices sound from outside the door, and you push it open, and step out into the winter night of the pub’s back alley.

A group of people are huddled around something at the mouth of the alley, and as you walk closer you see several things all at once: a dent in the brick wall as if something had been crushed into it, a body crumpled on the ground, red staining the fresh snow on the ground. You see a hand adorned with a now-familiar black ring.

“Jungwoo!” You cry and run forward, skidding a bit on the snow, but it doesn’t matter at all because you collapse beside him.

The crowd of people step away, only to press back in when you press your hand to his cheek. It’s difficult to tell how he is. You can’t check his pulse or his breathing since he has neither. The amount of blood is worrying, and when you drag back one of his eyelids, his pupils are blown wide, rimmed with a thin edge of red. Your hands flutter nervously over him, and that’s when you find the wound weeping blood beneath his coat.

You choke down a sob.

All around you the crowd are talking. You hear the word ‘ambulance’ and you hear ‘dead’ and you don’t want either of those words to be necessarily in the moment. You clutch him tighter, and that’s when you feel his fingers twitch against your own. He’s still alive, but if you had to guess, you would say that he’s only just barely alive.

Tears burn hot down your cheeks.

You know what he needs. As long as he’s still alive, he has the chance to heal completely. Jungwoo just needs to drink. You’ve seen this before, one time when he was playing around rather roughly with Yuta and a few knives plus a rather wild Yuta meant that Jungwoo was left covered in blood, looking rather faint. You’d panicked even then, and right now, in this alley, Jungwoo looked much worse off. That evening Jaehyun had been close by and a few minutes of drinking from the wolf had mended him perfectly. He just needed a drink. He needed...

A familiar voice suddenly breaks through the murmurs of the crowd.

Lucas is haloed against the streetlights, his face blurred through your tears. He takes one look first at you, and then his gaze falls on Jungwoo in your lap. All the color drains from his face, and he drops down on Jungwoo’s other side, taking his hand for a moment. You think his eyes glint gold.

“What happened to him?” His voice is hoarse, a low growl rolling out with his words.

“I don’t know I came out here and he was like this.” You wipe at your face, trying to banish the tears because crying won’t do anything right now.

Lucas lifts Jungwoo into his lap, into his arms, and he  looks around at the crowd. Then his eyes are back on you, piercing in the dark. “What the hell’s happened?”

“I have some suspicions, but I can’t tell you here. Take us somewhere safe. Take us to the den.” You press your hands to Lucas’s arms and dig your nails in. “Please, Lucas. Get us out of here, somewhere safe. He’s bleeding and he needs you, he needs a drink.”

Lucas stands up, cradling Jungwoo in his arms. “Follow me. Stick close so I don’t lose you.”

You twist your hand in the back of his shirt, winding so tightly that it looks like it might tear.

The crowd parts around Lucas as he carries Jungwoo away from that alley, and you stick so close that you almost feel like his shadow. Lucas is tense, on edge, glancing around at every shadow and sniffing the breeze that whips your hair around your face.

“Walk beside me.” He tells you after a moment, so you shift to be beside him, still clinging onto his shirt. There’s that comforting heat and the scent of ginger and honey again. “We’ll be there soon. Jungwoo, you’d better hold on for just five more minutes or else. I’ll force Ten to resurrect you so I can kill you myself if you die on us.”

You’re not sure, but when you glance over at your boyfriend’s head bouncing lightly on Lucas’s shoulder, you think you see a flicker of a smile attempting to make itself known on his lips.

You have no clue where you’re going, you just cling to Lucas and let him guide you along the streets of the city, leading you in deeper to the center where the buildings are packed tighter, where they grow up instead of out, and the sky is lit from underneath, pale violet due to all the lights and pollution.

He leads you into the lobby of a fancy building, walking right through the pristine glass doors, passed the doorman who nods in recognition and doesn’t seem to find anything strange about Lucas toting an unconscious man in his arms. He walks over to the elevator, and once you’re safely ensconced inside the astoundingly reflective copper walls, he presses the button marked ‘P’ with his elbow.

You stand in silence for the minute and a half it takes for the elevator to shudder to a stop. The doors open and Lucas steps out, dragging you along with his since your fingers are still nearly sewn into the fabric of his shirt.

An open floorplan, enormous apartment with a view of the city you’re sure must cost millions of dollars. Marble floors blend into wood and soft carpet. The kitchen is a glowing monstrosity of chrome and quartz. A screen covers an entire wall with several sofas and armchairs and beanbag chairs scattered around in front of it.

It’s all a lot cleaner than you would think a plus full of werewolves would be.

And Lucas passes it all by, breezing passed the kitchen and down a hallway, up a flight of stairs, down another hallway, and finally he pushes open a door at the end of the hallway.

This room reflects the modernistic beauty of the level below. Soft carpet floors, an enormous TV, an electric fireplace, a walk-in closet, en-suite bathroom, a wall of windows so clean you feel like you could walk clear out into the sky. And then there’s the enormous plush bed, the sheets all rumpled. But once you look at the bed, you can’t look away. And it’s not even just because that’s where Lucas carefully places Jungwoo.

There are shackles attached to the headboard, two more to the footboard. The wall above the headboard and even sections of the headboard itself are shredded with clawmarks and teeth marks, chunks of the headboard seem to be missing.

When you hear Lucas’s quiet voice, softly coaxing Jungwoo, you finally tear your gaze away from that devastation.

“Come on, Jungwoo. Drink.” Lucas says. He’s sitting up, holding Jungwoo up as well with your boyfriend’s face tucked into his neck. Lucas’s hand cups the back of Jungwoo’s head, urging his mouth against his throat. “Please, drink from me.”

Jungwoo doesn’t move, and you feel your heart stutter in your chest, as if it’s a moment away from stopping. If Jungwoo doesn’t drink, he won’t heal, he won’t have the nourishing blood he needs to survive.

With a growl, Lucas lifts his own wrist up to his mouth. You flinch at the sound of his teeth cutting into his flesh, cringe when you see blood splatter over his sheets, dripping from his mouth as he moves Jungwoo again and presses his wrist against Jungwoo’s lips.

One moment Jungwoo is limp, lifeless, and the next he’s clinging to Lucas’s wrist, drinking.

“Yes, just like that.” Lucas sighs, petting Jungwoo’s hair. He leans his head back and gazes up at the ceiling while Jungwoo continues drinking. Once again, you find that you can’t peel your eyes away. You haven’t really ever seen what Jungwoo looks like when he’s drinking from someone. Those times he’s drunk from you, you haven’t really been able to see much of him, but now… it’s mesmerizing although messy and violent.

Lucas’s eyes burn golden with pleasure, and you know the venom of Jungwoo’s fangs is coursing through Lucas’s veins. His eyes roll toward you and he smiles lazily.

Relief surges through you suddenly, a bit belated, and you feel everything hit you at once. You didn’t realize how cold you were until that moment. You shiver once and then again and then you can’t stop. You wonder if maybe it’s shock or if it’s just the cold, but either way, a hot shower sounds like exactly what you need, and Jungwoo is in good hands with Lucas, so you walk away.

The bathroom attached to Lucas’s bedroom is probably the size of your room at your apartment. A massive bathtub, a shower large enough to allow four people to shower at once, a double vanity, a fancy toilet you’re too embarrassed to admit you don’t know how to use, a urinal and a bidet. It’s all so fancy.

You strip and step into the shower, within seconds thick clouds of steam billow around you, soaking into your bones until the cold is a distant memory. You wash everything away, all your stress, your panic and worries, the feel of tears clinging to your cheeks. Some part of you wonders if this water is spelled water, if that’s why you feel so relaxed and reenergized afterward.

You’re scrubbed nice and clean, warm and calm. There’s a robe hanging on the back of the door, and you take it, tie it around you, and step back out into Lucas’s room. Jungwoo’s reclined in the bed, his eyes closed, but he looks much better. Where before he’d been as pale as ice, now a bit of pink tinges his skin.

“Feel better?” Lucas asks, and you spin around. He’s sitting on a small sofa in front of the windows, silhouetted against the city lights. “Jungwoo’s dozing. He’ll need more blood in a bit, but I didn’t want to give him too much too quick. Come over here.”

You do as he says, sitting down carefully beside him, and folding your legs under yourself. You can’t help but look around again, once more taking in the glamour of the apartment. Something of it must show on your face.

“Not quite what you were expecting?” Lucas laughs and cocks his head to the side.

You shrug. “It’s just every time all of you called it ‘the den’ I was picturing something underground. Not a penthouse. Certainly not this much luxury, all this glass and chrome and marble and stuff.”

Lucas smiles. “We’re lucky. Kun’s in a good profession, a celebrity chef among wolves. The rest of us all do pretty well too, so it’s easy to afford a place like this. We’re not all dusty mongrels like that other pack. Do you think they’re the ones that did this to him?” He turns and looks back at the bed, at Jungwoo’s shadowed form among the pillows and the blankets.

“I saw huge scratches on the exit door into the alley,” You tell him. “And there was a smell that I couldn’t quite place at first, but I think it was the smell of that one that cornered me the day I was with Ten. And on the alley wall, there was a section of the bricks that were crushed, almost like Jungwoo had been thrown into them. Plus, the wound in his side. I couldn’t see much, not with all those people around, but from what I could tell, I think it was a bite mark.”

A low growl breaks through Lucas’s bared teeth. “Those mutts need to be stopped. They need to be reminded that the coven is under our protection.” He rolls his neck on his shoulders and stands up, beginning to pace as if he can’t sit still with all of this agitation boiling under his skin.

“I don’t see what we can do, though.” You look up at him, following his unsettled movements.

Lucas makes another noise of anger, then tells you, “Stay here.”

As soon as he stalks out of the room, you move over to the bed, crawling close to Jungwoo.

His mouth is stained red with Lucas’s blood, a trail of it leads down his chin. His hair is a ruffled mess, and you attempt to smooth it down gently. You’re so careful with him, as if he’s breakable, as if he’s as fragile as you are rather than the tough centuries old monster that he is. You’re gentle as you peel his jacket from his side, and as you push up his sweatshirt and t-shirt he wears under his jacket. There’s a bloody mark still there on his side, perfectly in the shape of a bite from a large canine.

When you touch it, just a light brush of your fingers, the blood wipes away, revealing nearly perfect skin underneath except for a slightly raised pearly scar that fades even as you watch.

Jungwoo gasps and sits up.

“You’re awake.” You sigh, sitting back on your ankles. Again, hot tears burst into your eyes. “How do you feel?”

“Groggy.” Jungwoo blinks for a moment as if he’s adjusting to the amount of light (or lack thereof) in the room. “Thirsty. My whole body aches.”

His eyes focus on you, sliding from your eyes wet with tears to the wet strands of your hair to the plush robe you’ve got wrapped around you and the bare section of your chest that’s visible between the two side of the robe. He looks away.

“Where’s Lucas?”

You brush your hair back with your fingers and lean a little away from Jungwoo. You’ve never been afraid of him, not really, but you’ve also never seen him hungry like he is now. You can see it in the shade of red that his eyes are--so bright that they burn through the darkness as if lit from within--and that scares you only a little, only enough to make you cautious about keeping your distance.

“He just left a minute ago. He said to stay here.” You glance over at the doorway. “I think he was probably going to talk with the rest of the pack about teaching that other pack a lesson.”

Jungwoo sits up straighter and grimaces. “They definitely need to learn a lesson.” He glances over at you again, this time his gaze lands on your bare legs before he looks quickly away. “This isn’t the way I imagined the new year beginning.”

Beside the bed, a clock projects the time onto the wall. “We still have a little over an hour before next year,” You tell him. “Maybe we still have the chance to make it better. When Lucas comes back, you can drink some more from him. That’ll make you feel better.”

At the mention of Lucas, Jungwoo’s eyes narrow just a tiny bit and he looks back at your body wrapped tightly in the robe once again.

“Why are you wearing that?”

You fold your arms across your chest. “Would you rather that I was naked right now? I showered while you fed. I was shivering and the hot water did good for me, and when I got back out I wasn’t going to put those clothes back on, and there was this robe hanging there, so I put it on. Why?”

“I don’t like seeing you in Lucas’s clothes.” Jungwoo admits.

“Jealous?” You can’t help but smile and lean closer to Jungwoo. “You’re jealous of me wearing Lucas’s clothes? This robe is really warm, and it does smell like him. Lucas smells so good, like honey and ginger and maybe cinnamon as well.” You meet Jungwoo’s eyes as you lift the collar of the robe and tuck your nose against it. “So nice.”

“No.” Jungwoo growls, and then you’re on your back with Jungwoo hovering over you, his hands cage you in on either side of your head, and his eyes burn somehow more vibrantly than before. He repeats, “No.”

One of his hands falls to the belt of the robe, tugging it apart, and flinging the robe open in one move. You shiver at the touch of cold air on your bare skin, and Jungwoo groans as he sees your nipples harden from the cold and the arousal that curls in your belly now.

“You’re mine. He can’t have you.” He lowers his mouth to your chest, licking coolly over your chest, circling his tongue around your nipples. He pauses when he’s over your heart, and you feel your body flush with something not so far from panic, then he presses his lips there and pulls back, sitting up a bit more so now he can kiss your lips instead.

You moan as Jungwoo sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, and you push your fingers under the neckline of his shirt, digging your nails into his shoulders. One of his legs pushes up between yours, a knee right up against your pussy, separated only by a fold of the robe.

“Jungwoo, please.” You gasp, clutching at him and bucking your hips, trying to get the friction you so greatly desire.

He makes a noise and moves to kiss your cheek, stringing a line of kisses down your jaw.

“As much as I hate to interrupt, I think you might need to drink from me a bit more before you continue.” Lucas leans in the doorway, arms folded over his chest, his eyes raking down the shape of Jungwoo pressing your into the mattress. “And also, that’s my bed you’re about to fuck your girlfriend in. At least go do it in Kun’s bed instead. He always gets so flustered when he finds random cumstains on his sheets.” His eyes flit to yours and a devious smile is paired with the words, “Not that I know from experience.”

Jungwoo sits back, allowing you space to breathe again, and that’s when Lucas walks forward, eyes flicking between you and Jungwoo on the bed. You quickly jerk the robe closed again, but not before Lucas’s eyes zeroed in on your exposed chest.

“Lucas,” Jungwoo hisses. “How many times do I have to tell you--”

“This isn’t about her!” Lucas cuts Jungwoo off. His nostrils flare, eyes flashing gold, and he clenches his hands into fists.

“Of course it’s about her. You think you can lie to me now?” Jungwoo twists his hand in the sheets. “All your talk, and you’ve finally got what you want. Don’t think I haven’t seen the game you’ve planned out in your head.”

Something electric crackles through the room.

“What are you two talking about?” You ask, sitting up, trying to get between them a little bit. Hoping that if you can break their line of sight with each other they’ll back down because you don’t like the feeling in the room.

It works somewhat.

Jungwoo sighs heavily and turns to you. “Lucas asked about a threesome several weeks ago. He just suggested that maybe it would be interesting for the three of us to be in bed together. I told him no. And last week he brought it up again, and when I asked him why, he started talking about being able to smell the sex coming off of us after we came down from my room on Christmas Eve. He said he could smell it in the air, so sweet. I knew what he was talking about; the smell of your arousal. When I’m with you that’s all that I can smell and it drives me wild, particularly that night. He’s got a dog’s instincts, sunshine. Putting his nose where it doesn’t belong.”

Lucas bares his teeth and a low, rumbling, warning growl rolls from behind his teeth.

“He just wants you.” Jungwoo explains, and now he looks back at Lucas, holding his gaze. Red clashes against gold. “All he wants is to get between us so he can have you.”

Again, the electricity whips around, raising the hairs on your arms and the back of your neck.

“You’re wrong.”

“Like hell, I’m wrong.” The sheets in Jungwoo’s grip tear, the shredding sound apparently not registering to either of them.

“I never suggested the threesome because I wanted to split you and her apart.”

Something softens and breaks a little in Lucas’s eyes as he stares at Jungwoo, at the look of fury on his best friend’s face. You shrink back against the headboard.

Jungwoo spits out the question, “Why would you ask for the threesome if not because you wanted her?”

“It’s never been about her, you ancient moron.” Lucas growls.

His eyes bore into Jungwoo’s. Silence rings through the room for a full minute before Lucas breaks it again.

“Do you know how many wolves just casually let vampires feed from them? None. Zero. It’s true that other supernatural beings are the best food source for vampires, but do you remember who told you that? Me. Because it was fucking convenient. Because I’d seen it happening with Jaehyun. Because I looked at you and thought, oh.”

Suddenly, you feel mildly uncomfortable there in Lucas’s sheets, dressed in Lucas’s robe, listening to Lucas confessing to your boyfriend.

“I tried dropping hints before she came along, but you never understood. I offered my heart to you every time I opened my veins to your hunger, you thirst, Jungwoo.” Lucas sags down onto the bed. “I suggested a threesome because I thought that it would be my only chance to have you like that, to be as close to having you how I imagined. Not because of her. Because of you.”

Jungwoo falls back a bit, stunned.

“Not that you’re not super hot,” Lucas tells you. “You are. Like I would definitely love to be in bed with you too, but, priorities, you know.” He nodded toward Jungwoo with a loose smile. “You’re not mad are you?”

Slowly, you shake your head.

You could be mad. Maybe you should be mad. Lucas just told your boyfriend in front of you that he wants to have sex with him, that he’s kind of in love with him. That he’s been thinking about Jungwoo like this for a while. You could be mad, but you’re definitely not.

You’re too busy picturing it.

A spark of arousal takes life in your belly, licking against your insides until you’re fully aflame with lust thinking about it.

Jungwoo’s head jerks up, looking straight at you. Beside you, Lucas chuckles.

“Maybe you should’ve run the idea by her ages ago.” He laughs. “I think she quite likes it.”

It’s a little strange knowing that both of them can smell how turned on by the idea you are and also hear how quickly your heart beats when Jungwoo moves closer. Your mind is a blur of images: Jungwoo’s hands on your thighs bleeds into the image of Lucas’s hands spanning over your breasts, you imagine Jungwoo’s lips on Lucas’s throat, the look of their bodies together, the way you would look pressed between them.

You but your lip to hold in a moan, but it’s useless when your body is flushed with so much heat and desire.

“So what do you say?” Lucas asks, and you feel him shifting on the bed until his shoulder knocks lightly into yours. “A threesome, and I promise that I’m not planning to steal anyone away. I just want to know what it could be like.”

“I don’t know.” Jungwoo rubs a hand through his hair. “I don’t know if I could fuck you. You’re definitely not fucking me.” He points a finger at Lucas.

“We don’t have to do that. Not tonight.” Lucas reassures him. “I’m willing to follow whatever rules you set down, but I want to touch both of you, kiss both of you. That’s all I’m asking for. That, and I want you to drink from me again, but that’s honestly more for your own benefit than mine.”

Jungwoo looks your way, his eyes snag against yours, reading what you want. You want him and Lucas, although before this night you’ve never really looked at Lucas in this way.

“Alright. Okay, we’ll do this. Just tonight because it’s a one-off thing, for it?” You and Lucas both nod. Jungwoo scrapes his hands through his hair and sighs. “I’ll feed first before anything else. “

Lucas doesn’t give Jungwoo any time to reconsider. He drags his shirt over his head and then pulls Jungwoo close. Your boyfriend sucks in a breath, and laughs a bit as he turns toward you.

“He does smell nice.” Jungwoo whispers, but Lucas definitely hears, and he laughs, a loud clear sound that probably carries through the entire penthouse. Jungwoo makes a face. “Alright, come back here, stop laughing. It’s weird.”

He curls his fingers around the back of Lucas’s neck and drags him back in. You watch as his nose brushes over Lucas’s skin, as his lips follow that line, and then you know the moment he bites down on Lucas’s jugular because Lucas’s mouth drops open and an obscene moan spills out.

Jungwoo once told you he didn’t want you to see him feeding, particularly when he was feeding from Lucas. He’d told you it was a bloody, violent, messy affair and he’d thought it was scare you off. But now as you witness him curving toward Lucas, holding him close, intimate like lovers, you wonder if perhaps this is the real reason he never wanted you to see.

Lucas’s hands rest on Jungwoo’s waist, his shirt twisted between Lucas’s fingers. Each lap of Jungwoo’s tongue against the wolf’s through causes another moan, each time Jungwoo shifts to drink deeper Lucas clutches him tighter and moans that much louder and desperate.

And then you notice Lucas is hard.

A bulge presses against the front of his pants, and Jungwoo’s thigh rubs right against it.

Lucas’s sounds only stoke that fire of lust inside you. Seeing his head thrown back in pleasure while Jungwoo has his face buried against his throat  gives you hopes for what’s to come tonight.

You’re cautious to touch either Jungwoo or Lucas right now, not quite sure if your touch will break this fragile deal or what will happen.

So you wait, sitting on your hands until the moment you’re called into action.

Jungwoo pulls away, his mouth dripping blood still, and he holds Lucas’s head in both hands. “Clean me up.” Jungwoo commands.

Lucas all but whines and lunges forward, pushing his mouth against Jungwoo’s. You swear the temperature in the room rises when their mouths meet. Lucas kisses Jungwoo desperately, licking at his own blood on your boyfriend’s chin and cheeks, cleaning it from his lips and teeth and tongue. All the while he’s moaning and whimpering, make noises that indicate he might be much more of a sub than you expected.

Jungwoo pushes Lucas away, shoving him down into the pillows, and then he turns to you. “Come here.”

You slide into his arms, into his lap, and let him reel you into a kiss.

Jungwoo doesn’t play any games with you. He kisses you deeply and at the same moment plunges his hand between your legs and slides his fingers right inside of you. “You’re so wet,” He moans against your lips. “Dripping for us. Did it turn you on watching us like that?”

You nod and squeeze your eyes shut, basking in the pleasure as Jungwoo rubs his thumb against your clit and scissors his fingers inside you. You grip his shoulder and bite back your moan, although part of it still escapes you.

“Hush, angel.” Jungwoo kisses the corner of your mouth softly, a complete contradiction to the way that his fingers move inside you. “You don’t want the whole pack to hear you, do you?”

“Place is empty. Didn’t I mention that?” Lucas says breathlessly, shoving his pants off. “They all ran off to deal with our not-so-friendly neighbors. Be as loud as you like. They won’t be back for a while, if I know my pack.”

Jungwoo grins, “Well, in that case.” He hoists you suddenly higher into his lap, his fingers reaching new depths inside of you, and the sound you let out is louder than you’d anticipated.

So there you are, sitting in your boyfriend’s lap, getting finger-fucked into the new year, and when your eyes flutter open and you see Lucas kneeling there beside you, rubbing himself to the sight before him, you whine again, reaching out for him. “I can help you. If you want, if I’m allowed,” You throw a glance at Jungwoo, who nods. “I’ll help you, Lucas.”

“Yeah, fuck. That would be great.” He scrambles to his feet, swaying high over you as he comes to stand right beside your head.

Cautiously, you raise your hand to his cock.

Jungwoo’s got a decently sized cock, but Lucas is massive. He’s long and thick, and now that he’s so close to you, you feel a bit intimidated by his size. But then Jungwoo kisses your cheek, trails fiery kisses down your throat, and you hear him tell you, “Suck him off.”

So you do.

Both of them swear when you push to take Lucas’s cock down your throat. Jungwoo’s fingers curl inside you, Lucas’s hand drops to your hair. “So much for not wanting to share her.” He laughs, but the sound cuts off when you gag around his length.

“Careful, Lucas. It’s not too late. I could end this now.” Jungwoo threatens, but you can hear in his voice that he’s not going anywhere. You can tell that some part of him enjoys seeing you blowing his best friend right in front of his face. “Take him deeper,” He tells you then, his hand a light pressure on the back of your head.

You try your best, sinking down further on Lucas’s cock, but his girth makes that a bit difficult and you whine and attempt to pull back with a shake of your head.

“It’s alright,” Lucas combs his fingers through your hair. “It’s fine. She’s doing great. You’re really doing great. Your mouth feels so good and tight around me.”

You whine and push forward again, wanting to take more of him in with his encouragements.

“Careful.” Jungwoo’s hands push at your robe, and it slides from your shoulder, leaving you totally bare and exposed to both of their eyes, to the cool air of the room. Jungwoo dips his head and your feel his cool lips against your skin, his fingers buried in your pussy. Lucas’s cock stretches your lips, and as Jungwoo nips at one of your breasts, you almost choke on Lucas.

Lucas backs off quickly, sitting down on the bed, his hand immediately going to his cock.

You can feel slobber dripping down from your lips, and Jungwoo smiles at you as he wipes it away. “Pretty girl. Watch this.” His fingers slip from you, and he moves you smoothly off his lap, putting you in the perfect position to be able to see as he presses up against Lucas again. His fingers prod at Lucas’s lips, and Lucas happily opens his mouth to suck the flavor of you from your boyfriend’s fingers. His gaze shifts to you for a moment before he raises his gaze and hangs it on Jungwoo’s, sucking his fingers a bit like a blowjob, not breaking eye contact with Jungwoo.

Jungwoo watches Lucas’s lips, totally transfixed.

The second that his fingers slip from Lucas’s mouth, Jungwoo covers his lips with his own. Your fingers drift down to your pussy of their own accord, and you barely even realize you’re touching yourself until you moan loud enough to draw both Jungwoo and Lucas’s attention. Lucas’s eyes flare golden and Jungwoo just groans.

They both watch for a moment as you pump your fingers inside your pussy, your legs spread wide to give them a clear view. Lucas’s hands drift over Jungwoo, finding his waistband, and his hand disappears inside. You notice the way his eyes watch Jungwoo cautiously even as he closes his hand around Jungwoo’s cock.

Jungwoo hums in pleasure when Lucas starts stroking him, his hips bucking into the touch, but he doesn’t look away from your fingers. Lucas’s lips go to Jungwoo’s throat, kissing his throat slow and sensually, his hand moving slow inside your boyfriend’s pants. Jungwoo moves his hips, leans into Lucas, licks his lips watching you. His jaw flexes, and when he opens his mouth for a moment you see his fangs are fully out. The way he watches you is hungry.

“Fuck, this is too much.” He hisses. Finally he breaks his stare, and grabs Lucas’s head, dragging his mouth away from Jungwoo’s throat, instead tilting his head to the side so now Lucas’s throat is bared to Jungwoo. “I think I need more.”

“Yeah, please.” Lucas pants.

Jungwoo bites deep into Lucas’s throat again. Both of them moan, and you realize Lucas is still jerking Jungwoo off.

The whimper that spills from your lips can’t be helped.

Jungwoo’s head snaps up. He looks quickly between you and Lucas. “I have an idea. Come over here. Lucas, lay back.”

You pull your fingers out of your pussy and crawl over to the two of them. Jungwoo moves you so you’re straddling Lucas, and you feel the werewolf’s cock jump against your thigh, but Jungwoo doesn’t tell you to sit on Lucas’s cock or anything like that. Instead you feel Jungwoo’s fingers inside you for a moment before they’re gone, but quickly replaced by the girth of his cock.

Jungwoo presses fully into you, his chest flat against your back, and your chest in turn is against Lucas’s. “Just like this,” Jungwoo moans. He leans over your shoulder, and as he thrusts deep into you again, you hear the now-familiar sound of him biting Lucas. Jungwoo fucks you up against Lucas while he drinks from the wolf, and it’s a strange turn on.

After a moment Jungwoo pulls his mouth from Lucas’s throat and sits back so he’s kneeling behind you, better able to thrust into you, his hands on your hips. You push yourself a bit as well, and you stare down into Lucas’s big, pretty eyes.

He looks a bit dazed, and when you touch his throat, his eyes roll and he moans. You keep your hand there, fingers applying light pressure, and again you feel his cock jump.

“Both of you are so dirty.” Jungwoo says, and his hips smack roughly against yours, pushing you a bit off balance. Your hand presses more harshly into Lucas’s throat as you try to steady yourself, and the moan that tears out of him nearly pushes you right into an orgasm. Jungwoo reaches under you to flick his fingers over your clit at the same time as he says, “Both of you are blood whores.”

Your orgasm rips through you, electricity crackling under you skin, an explosion of pleasure swiping all the strength from your limbs.

You’re unaware of the exact moment when you collapsed onto Lucas, but then your cheek is against his heartbeat, your hand still curled against his throat, and Jungwoo’s fucking you faster. Your body tingles all over and you desperately want to hear Jungwoo call you that again. You try to push your body back up, you want to do something else that will make Jungwoo call you his blood whore because something about that feels simultaneously like degradation and a praise.

You try fucking yourself back on him, and that earns a deep moan from Jungwoo, but you’re still weak from your orgasm, and your head droops forward.

“I want to be inside her.” Lucas strokes the side of your face. You close your eyes and fall against him, barely able to support yourself. “We could be inside her together.”

Jungwoo swears quietly, and you feel his fingers on your chin, turning you to face him. “Do you want that? Can you take both of us?” His voice is gentle, touch soft, and then he brushes his lips against yours. So different from how he was just seconds ago. “Sunshine, do you want this?”

You nod.

Jungwoo slips his hands under you, lifting you up with your back pressed to his chest. You’re not sure why that orgasm wiped you out so much, but you feel like it’s all been taken out of you. You can barely hold yourself up, so Jungwoo keeps his arms wrapped around you as his hand moves down your body, dipping his fingers inside your pussy even while his cock is still deep inside you. His fingers scissor inside you, stretching you slowly so you’ll be able to fit both Jungwoo and Lucas inside you.

You reach for Lucas and he sits up, allows you to drag his mouth to yours. He kisses you like he’s starving for it.

“That’s enough of that.” Jungwoo says after another minute. His fingers pull out of you, and you feel them brush your face, and then Lucas is torn away from your lips. “Lay back again.”

Lucas does exactly as he’s told, and Jungwoo moves you forward then. He pulls out of you and directs you to straddle Lucas, to sit on his cock. Lucas makes a breathy noise when your hand wraps around his cock, and when you actually sit back on his erection, he moans, loud and deep. You’re glad that the den is all empty. He stretches your walls so delightfully, and for a moment you let yourself adjust to him, shift yourself, grinding against him.

Lucas bites his lip and watches you through hooded eyes, his hands go to your hips, and as wonderful as he feels, you still feel yourself looking back over your shoulder at Jungwoo. “Jungwoo, please. I need you too.” You moan.

Jungwoo flattens his hand against your back, pressing your forward.

The feel as he pushes into you beside Lucas is extraordinary, nothing you’ve ever felt before, having your pussy stretched by two cocks. Lucas grunts and groans, and you’re surprised when he actually starts whining, trying to thrust up into you as he feels the slide of Jungwoo’s cock against his inside the tightness of your heat.

You tuck your face into his throat, choosing to lick and suck hickeys around the place where Jungwoo bit him. Lucas moans and his arms wrap around you, and you whimper as Jungwoo finally bottoms out. Both of them are fully inside you, and you’ve never felt like this before. You feel somewhat like you could be ripped in two at any second, and yet you love that feeling. Ripples of pleasure are already beginning to pulsate through you.

“Please, move.” You beg.

And they do.

It takes a few moments for them to work out a pace, a pattern. There’s never a moment where you’re empty, always stuffed with at least one of their cocks, except for the lucky occasion where they’re both stretching you. Jungwoo keeps swearing, pulling your cheeks apart so he can get a better look at how you look with two cocks inside you.

And when Jungwoo collapses against you, rapidly thrusting into you, you hear the wet sound of him kissing Lucas again.

“Shit!” Lucas moans, and suddenly he jolts, pushing at both you and Jungwoo, his hands at your hips, shoving you away.

He pulls out just in time. You feel the warm spurt of his cum against your thigh, hear his moans rolling out from his chest, hear his breath shake. When you look down, he’s cumming all over his stomach, thick streaks of cum cover his belly, and still he’s cumming.

“Oh my god,” You moan, hardly able to look away. “So much cum, Lucas. What the fuck, that’s so much, so hot.”

Lucas bucks his hips up, closing his hand around his cock and jerking off while he cums. You watch, enraptured, as he doesn’t stop. Even Jungwoo has kind of stopped fucking you for a moment, just watching as Lucas orgasms beneath the pair of you, cumming more than you thought any one person could.

And then his eyes open and he sees the pair of you watching.

Jungwoo’s hips push forward, driving his cock into you, pushing you down against Lucas. Your hips are against his, and as Jungwoo thrusts into you, you’re moving against Lucas. His hand, the ridges of his knuckles, drag against your belly, and he begins making these absolutely pitiful moans. You can feel his cum smearing against your skin, can feel his cock still hard.

You groan and duck your head, capturing Lucas’s lips in a kiss. It’s sloppy, uncoordinated, as Jungwoo picks up the pace. He fucks into you hard enough that you feel like your hips and ass are going to be bruised tomorrow.

Lucas slides his tongue against yours, nips at your lips, growls when you whimper and reach out hands to steady yourself. Lucas’s cock rubs against your clit, and the combination of everything in that moment sends you reeling into your second orgasm.

You feel disgusting the moment your stomach lands in the puddle of Lucas’s cum, but your orgasm blurs the edges of everything and you feel a little bit numb, a bit high, as if you’re drifting and nothing is real, especially not your body. But you still feel the pleasure as Jungwoo continues fucking into you.

“Wait,” Lucas moans.

You feel Jungwoo pull out of you and then Lucas gently rolls you off of him. You open your eyes and witness Lucas reaching for Jungwoo’s cock, their lips together once more as he jerks Jungwoo off. Lucas’s kisses begin to drift more southern, down Jungwoo’s chest, his stomach, and finally he just sucks Jungwoo into his mouth.

Jungwoo touches Lucas’s hair, forcing Lucas all the way to the base of his cock. Lucas gags, but he takes it. His body is flushed with pleasure, and he sucks Jungwoo off happily. Your eyes drift closed, but you hear the moment Jungwoo cums, moaning and pouring praises on Lucas.

And then there’s a body against yours. You open your eyes.

Lucas is walking away toward his bathroom, Jungwoo is on his side, facing you.

“Are you alright?” He asks quietly, and he pushes some of your hair out of your face, sweeps his thumb over your cheekbone. “We weren’t too rough or anything, were we? Do you regret that?”

You shake your head and turn it to the side, placing a kiss to Jungwoo’s palm. “It was great. Did you like it?”

Jungwoo’s eyes shift toward the bathroom. “I think so.” His gaze cuts back to you. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” You scoot a little bit closer to him.

“I didn’t know Lucas felt like that about me. I’ve been a bit of a jealous prick these last few weeks, even if you didn’t notice.” He combs his fingers through your hair. “I’m sorry that all of this weird stuff is happening tonight.”

“It’s alright, Jungwoo. My life has been weird since the night I met you. Vampires, werewolves, witches, ghosts. My boyfriend’s best friend being in love with him? Not weird. My boyfriend, his best friend, and me engaging in a threesome? Not weird. Not really weird, anyway.”

A shift of weight on the mattress behind you alerts you to Lucas’s return. “I’m glad you feel that way. I’m the one who should be sorry, spilling all that stuff earlier. But I’m not sorry. Mostly because of what just happened. Here,” He holds out a damp cloth. “You need to be cleaned up.”

You roll onto your back and Lucas gently wipes at his cum that’s drying on your skin. Jungwoo keeps distractingly touching you while Lucas does this. Your boyfriend’s fingers trace circles lightly around your nipples. You feel his fangs briefly scrape against your shoulder, but these are simply affectionate touches, not anything meant to start up another round of sex.

Lucas takes the cloth back to the bathroom, and when he returns, slipping into bed behind you, he asks, “You’re staying tonight, aren’t you?”

Jungwoo nods. “We promised we’d spend New Year’s Eve with you, didn’t we?” He tilts his head toward the time projected on the wall. “We still have a few minutes left.”

The seconds tick by and you feel sleepiness tugging at your eyelids, brought on by all the stresses and pleasures of tonight.

“Happy New Year.” You sigh against his lips, slinging your leg over his hips. “That’s exactly the way I wanted the year to begin.”

Lucas hums a happy noise behind you and brushes his lips between your shoulder blades, his hand sneaking over your waist to splay his fingers over Jungwoo’s stomach. “Happy New Year.”

Jungwoo’s wish of happiness is a quiet murmur, lost as you finally let sleep take you over.

Sunlight burns through the room when you wake. Your body aches, your mouth feels dry, but you feel nice and warm with the sunlight spilling across the sheets.

At some point in the night, Lucas moved across the bed, now curled up on Jungwoo’s other side. He’s still deeply asleep, and Jungwoo looks as if he is as well, but when you shift, his eyes flash open.

“Doesn’t the sunlight feel amazing?” He asks, running a hand through the beams of light. The ring on his hand glints, and you grab his hand, pulling it down to your mouth so you can kiss that ring. His fingers stroke backwards over your skin. “I still think nothing feels better than you soaked in sunlight, so warm and beautiful.”

You smile and hold his hand against your face, lips brushing against his palm.

You stay like that for a while, enjoying the gentle heat of the morning sun, the quiet of Lucas’s room, the easy and relaxed mood.

But that all ends with the door to the room bursts open, and you startle, dropping Jungwoo’s hand. Lucas sits bolt upright. Kun stands in the doorway, and when his eyes land on the three of you, still naked, tangled in Lucas’s sheets, his face flushes.

There’s a set of three scratches stretching down his throat, a bruise on his forehead. You half-expect an explanation for that, but instead all Kun says is, “There’s breakfast in the kitchen.”

You hear him mutter an “oh my god” as he turns and walks away.

Both of the boys laugh a little, but you slip from bed and hurry over to the bathroom. You take care of several things--peeing, trying to tame your hair, dressing in your clothes from the night before which are still discarded on the floor.

Jungwoo is admiring the hickeys on Lucas’s throat when you come back out from the bathroom, both of them are dressed as well, and together you all head down to the kitchen.

The den is more crowded and noisy now than it was the night before. The whole pack is in the kitchen, fighting over the food Kun made, but when the three of you walk into the kitchen an awkward feeling passes through the room.

Finally, Jaehyun speaks up, “When you said you were staying behind while we all went and kicked the asses of those mutts out of our city so you could nurse Jungwoo back to health, we didn’t realize that you had a magic, healing dick.”

Lucas growls and playfully attacks Jaehyun. Several of the others jump in, and Jungwoo holds you back as the werewolves wrestle around the kitchen. They stop when Kun calls for order, and they pick their spots around the food again, filling their plates or just picking at the dishes. You sit on Jungwoo’s lap beside Lucas, and after that breakfast passes as it normally might when you’re dining with a pack of werewolves and your vampire boyfriend.

Pleasantly, as if there’s an eternity of mornings just like this one stretching out in front of you.

a/n: this has been a long time coming since the first part is exactly two months old. I’m not sure if there’s going to be a third part, because I feel like most things I wanted this to be about were all resolved in this part, but there is still one little thing I wanted to happen, so a third part might happen but no promises. Anyway, if you’ve read this entire monstrosity, I hope you enjoyed it. I would love feedback because it’s what makes me thrive, so please like/reblog/comment

[starrypawz]

First forray into FHR fic, it was interesting trying to write in the style of the game, idk if I’ll do this in future FHR stuff.

Ronan is NB uses they/them

You are probably getting too close, but who cares at this point. It’s a moment, just a moment and it’s nice to feel something close to normal for a change.  

Ortega is smiling, that smile is damned dangerous, his thumb is lightly brushing the sensitive patch of skin near yours… no wait that’s Eden not Ronan. Eden’s thumb. This feels nice, good even, peaceful.

It’s a cute, quiet little coffee shop. Sort of place that is popular but somehow never overly busy, manages a nice blend between ‘trendy’ and ‘cosy’. Looks good in social media photos without seeming too fake.

Wait Ronan is the one who pours a stupid amount of sugar into their coffee, not Eden.

You feel something, Ortega brushes a lock of hair behind your ear. Eden startles slightly.

“Sorry,”

“It’s alright,” This coffee is black, that’s what Eden drinks, dark coffee that almost seems too dark for someone like Eden, you nearly ordered a mocha. You’re sloppy today.

“I like your hair,” “Aww, thanks,” Eden gives his own dangerous little smile. 

“I had a friend who used to dye their hair a lot,” He sounds a little wistful about it,

Wait had a friend? That makes your stomach twist a little, had, had, had. Is he covering you or does he not view you as… Crap. Focus.

“Sounds like they have great taste,” You lean a little into Ortega, and he picks up on the hint and his fingers are running through your hair, oh that feels good really good.

Oh. Crap.

When you dyed Eden’s hair last you were pretty sure you just picked a colour on a whim. Staring at a rainbow of hair dyes, the good ones that actually lasted, didn’t run a risk of frying your hair and generally came out the colour on the box. It had been a toss up between Teal-total and Violet Tendencies this time around. You were sure you weren’t thinking that hard at the time when Teal-total ended up in your hand.

But now…

Oh this isn’t a good time to remember. Crap, crap, crap, crap.  

Ortega’s eyebrows rose a bit when he saw you, “Didn’t you just dye your hair?”

You shrug, running a hand through teal waves “I got bored,”

“You said that the last time too,” He laughs, “I’m worried your hair is going to fall out if you keep it up,”

You gave a shrug, “It’s just hair, it grows back,”  

That’s true it’s just hair, but it’s your hair. And there’s something to be said about how it feels to be able to do just about anything you want to it. By now you’ve probably cycled through nearly every conceivable colour, some worked better than others. “Tangerine Blast” was very much not one to repeat. Not to mention a few different cuts as well, mostly done by yourself in the bathroom mirror and you generally did a pretty good job.

“You’d look cool with a shaved head,” Ortega pauses, about to add something.

You feel your stomach twist a little at the idea of head shaving, but then that would be you doing it and not because, instead you laugh, “You know what, you can pick my next colour,”

Ortega grins, “You trust me?”

You give him a shove, “C’mon you’ve got my back out there, I think I can trust you to pick a hair colour,”

“Hmmm,” Ortega made a show of thinking, “Lilac?”

“Alright, lilac it is,”

That had only been days before…

Crap.

Crap.

Crap.

Focus. You need to be Eden right now, focus on Eden.

“Eden?” Ortega is looking concerned.

Eden blinks a few times, you’re not sure if that’s for effect or if you’re really having issues here, “Oh sorry...” Eden swallows. You wrap your fingers around the coffee cup, focusing on the warmth of it to ground you, lets out a sigh that shakes a little bit, “I… zoned out a bit there, didn’t sleep well,” Eden does look sleepy, but in a cute slightly cozy way that makes you think of cosy beds and warm sunshine. Rather than the sheer exhaustion that Ronan seems to be dealing with all the time and leaves dark shadows under the eyes.  Eden gives a little shrug and looks up just right with baby blue eyes  that make Eden look younger than he, and with a little wrinkle of that adorable nose on that seems enough to convince Ortega nothing is amiss.

Even though you can feel a sour little ball in your stomach.

[kidkei]

Laser Therapy Treatments for Arthritic Dogs

ALTERNATIVE PAIN MANAGEMENT FOR ARTHRITIS: OVERVIEW

1. If your dog has continual arthritis ache – particularly if he’s comparatively younger for such troubles – take into account exploring a few of these various choices.

2. Look for a veterinary practitioner who’s open to various applied sciences. Many have developed a desire for a sure device, primarily based on good outcomes with earlier purchasers.

Arthritis ache, which impacts 4 out of 5 older canines, interferes with the whole lot that makes life particular for our greatest mates. Wouldn’t it’s nice if we might flip the clock again?

Technology could not but supply a time machine, however it may well appear that manner for canines handled with trendy therapies that make them really feel like puppies once more. Would laser therapies, shock wave remedy, Pulsed Electromagnetic Frequency remedy, or different modern therapies assist your dog soar onto the couch or run and play the way in which she used to?

Veterinary Lasers

Once unique, laser therapies have gone mainstream with tools that’s more and more secure and efficient, in order that hundreds of veterinary clinics deal with canines, cats, horses, and different animals with lasers for a wide range of situations.

The time period “laser” was initially an acronym for Light Amplification of Stimulated Emission of Radiation. First developed within the 1960s, lasers are utilized in fiber optics, computer systems, navy weapons programs, manufacturing, constructing development, communications, and drugs.

Laser beams are monochromatic (present inside a slim band of wavelengths), coherent (tightly aligned), and collimated (with photons touring in parallel). Lasers differ based on wavelength and energy, and a few lasers emit pulsing slightly than steady mild waves. Power is measured in joules, {an electrical} vitality classification.

Laser tools varies based on the vitality a laser emits (measured in joules); the time it takes the vitality to achieve goal tissue (which determines the size of the therapy); wavelength (the laser’s depth of penetration, with blue mild superficial, purple mild deeper, and nonvisible mild deeper nonetheless); frequency (the variety of impulses emitted per second); energy (watts, the speed at which the vitality is delivered); emission mode (steady or pulsing); and dosage (joules per sq. centimeter, or J/cm2).

Class 1 and a couple of lasers, which embrace laser pointers, are usually thought of secure however have restricted therapeutic use. Class Three lasers (sort 3A emits seen mild and kind 3B emits nonvisible mild) have some therapeutic makes use of. The most up-to-date laser classification (Class 4), authorized for medical use by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 2005, is utilized in human and veterinary drugs to enhance circulation, chill out muscle tissue, and cut back irritation, ache, and swelling attributable to accidents, surgical procedure, or continual situations, resembling arthritis.

LLLT, or Low Level Laser Therapy, is carried out with “cold” or “soft” lasers, which penetrate the pores and skin’s floor with minimal heating. According to the analysis group ColdLasers.org, which describes over 40 therapeutic lasers, some class Four chilly lasers will heat the therapy space however usually are not thought of sizzling lasers as a result of they can’t lower or cauterize tissue.

The plethora of technical phrases and conflicting claims can confuse purchasers and veterinarians alike. In a February 2016 report within the journal Vetted, Jennifer L. Wardlaw, DVM, requested, “Should your veterinary practice become laser-focused?” She beneficial evaluating the wavelength, energy density, and pulse modulation of lasers, not simply their price. “For example,” she wrote, “if you get a weak laser with a small diode, it may take 45 minutes to treat a 5-centimeter surgical incision with the correct dosage of 4 to 6 J/cm2. But if you get a more powerful laser with a bigger diode, it may only take you five minutes to treat the same patient.”

Dr. Wardlaw recommends beginning canine arthritis therapies with 6 to eight J/cm2 each different day for two weeks. For wound therapeutic she prescribes eight J/cm2 as soon as per day for seven days, and for tendonitis 6 J/cm2 each different day for two weeks. A hand-held wand delivers the therapy (goggles or sun shades shield the eyes of practitioners and sufferers) and the dosage might be utilized with a sweeping movement or by utilizing back-and-forth actions as if following a grid whereas treating one small space at a time.

In 2011, clinicians on the University of Florida’s Small Animal Hospital in contrast 17 canines with intervertebral disc illness handled postoperatively with lasers to 17 canines not handled with lasers. All of the canines (largely Dachshunds, a breed related to intervertebral disc illness) had been unable to stroll, and their diagnoses had been confirmed by MRI or CT scanning. All underwent decompressive surgical procedure after their diagnoses.

Thomas Schubert, DVM, and William Draper, DVM, handled half of the research’s 34 canines with Thor Photomedicine’s Class 3B laser (thorvetlaser.com) within the near-infrared vary, a wavelength that has been proven to hurry the therapeutic of muscle ache and superficial wounds in people. They introduced their findings on the American College of Veterinary Internal Medicine’s 2011 assembly in Denver, calling the outcomes “amazing” as a result of the laser-treated sufferers walked sooner, prevented medical issues, had been much less harassed, and decreased their restoration bills because of much less hospitalization time.

Success with Laser Treatment on Dogs

Tia Nelson, DVM, at Valley Veterinary Hospital in Helena, Montana, has used the K-Laser, a preferred Class Four gadget, to deal with greater than 100 canines for ache and wound therapeutic. “The initial protocol is six treatments over three weeks,” she explains, “typically three the first week, two the second, and one the third, then as needed after that, usually once a month. The results vary, depending on the condition’s severity, location, and cause along with the dog’s age and activity levels, but most dogs seem to be more comfortable for many weeks after the initial treatments and some don’t need additional therapy.”

Dr. Nelson retains monitor of her purchasers’ anecdotal studies. “Typically, we hear about dogs now being able to scramble happily up and down the stairs,” she says, “and generally being more active and engaged with their families.”

One of Dr. Nelson’s favourite sufferers is a Pomeranian who stopped leaping on the mattress to sleep together with her proprietor because of decrease again arthritis. “Pain meds weren’t helping,” she says, “and joint-protecting supplements offered minimal relief. The owner was somewhat skeptical but agreed to try the K-Laser treatments. She called me almost in tears of joy after the first week’s treatments because her little girl was able to jump up on the bed!”

The web site of the American Holistic Veterinary Medical Association lists 280 member veterinarians who present laser remedy, and extra might be discovered with easy on-line searches.

Lasers Designed for Home Use?

There are not any scientific trials within the medical literature testing lasers designed for residence use, however in the event you look for them, you will discover individuals who have purchased moveable low-level lasers and who report good outcomes on themselves and on their pets. You can discover moveable Low Level Laser Therapy tools ranging in worth from $119 to $299, in addition to items which might be dearer, on websites resembling Amazon.

Some lasers which might be used for ache aid are marketed as magnificence merchandise for wrinkle discount and different beauty results as a result of their distributors can not promote them as medical units. Customer help, refund insurance policies, and product warranties differ, so verify with producers for particulars, and take on-line buyer critiques with a grain of salt.

One may take consolation from advertising claims that merchandise are “FDA cleared,” “FDA approved,” or “FDA registered.” Please be aware, nonetheless, that these usually are not official endorsements. A producer registered with the FDA has accomplished an software informing the FDA of its merchandise and is thus “FDA registered.” A medical gadget that’s “FDA cleared” is “substantially equivalent” to a tool already available on the market. “FDA approval” means solely that the FDA has reviewed the producer’s testing outcomes and has concluded that the advantages of the product outweigh its dangers.

At Muller Veterinary Hospital’s Canine Rehabilitation Center in Walnut Creek, California, Erin Troy, DVM, has labored with canine sufferers who didn’t seem to profit from residence laser units. “But they did respond when treated with Low Level Laser Therapy using a proven effective laser used by someone knowledgeable about what settings to use and where to treat,” she says. “I’m frustrated with home devices because there is much more to laser therapy than point-and-push-the-button.”

These are early days in veterinary laser therapies, and the few articles printed about them within the medical literature warning that extra blinded, placebo-controlled scientific trials are wanted earlier than the usage of lasers is routinely advocated, particularly for situations apart from ache, irritation, and wound therapeutic. If you might be contemplating the acquisition of a Low Level Laser for utilizing in your dog at residence, we’d counsel discovering a veterinarian who makes use of and is educated about lasers, and who will present you the way greatest to pick and use a therapeutic laser at residence.

Red Light Therapy for Arthritis Treatment

Also generally known as photonic remedy, low-intensity mild remedy, LED remedy, photobiostimulation, photobiomodulation, and photorejuvenation, the applying of purple mild by the use of a hand-held gadget, stationary panels containing LED lights, or items designed for therapy from a distance or in direct contact with the pores and skin all declare to cut back irritation and arthritis ache in pets and folks. You can discover a dozen or extra totally different fashions on-line.

Red mild remedy makes use of wavelengths of sunshine between 620 nm and 700 nm, with the most well-liked wavelengths utilized in in-home merchandise between 630 nm and 660 nm. Some units embrace a number of wavelengths.

The hottest purple mild gadget stands out as the $270 Tendlite, which resembles a slender flashlight powered by a chargeable battery that emits purple mild at 660 nm. The Tendlite is held 1 inch from the world to be handled for 1 minute at a time. (Most purple mild remedy units require longer therapy instances.)

For further details about purple mild remedy and purple mild units, see Red Light Therapy Guide, Red Light Man, and Photonic Health, which focuses on purple mild remedy for canines, cats, and different animals.

Shock Wave Therapy

It sounds electrical, however shock wave remedy is definitely the applying of high-energy sound waves to particular components of the physique, resembling to interrupt up kidney stones and gallstones with out the necessity for invasive surgical procedure. For 25 years, ESWT (Extracorporeal Shock Wave Therapy, which refers back to the waves’ technology exterior the physique) has been used to deal with orthopedic situations and joint ache in people, horses, and canines.

The canine situations proven to enhance with ESWT embrace osteoarthritis, hip and elbow dysplasia, continual again ache, osteochondrosis lesions, sesamoiditis (degeneration of small bones within the foot that causes persistent lameness, particularly in racing Greyhounds and Rottweilers), tendon accidents, lick granulomas, cruciate ligament accidents, nonunion or delayed-healing bone fractures, and painful scar tissue.

Shock wave remedy for canines can have spectacular outcomes. Straus was contacted by New Jersey resident Debbie Efron when her veterinarian, Charles Schenck, DVM, a previous president of the American Holistic Veterinary Medical Association, beneficial shock wave remedy for Taylor, Efron’s 12-year-old Labrador Retriever, who had arthritis in her hips, spinal column, and proper hock, and who had simply torn a ligament in her proper knee. Efron had by no means heard of shock wave remedy and requested for Straus’s opinion.

Encouraged by the optimistic outcomes Straus discovered within the medical literature, Efron scheduled the process. Dr. Schenck handled Taylor’s hips, hock, and knee in two periods, three to 4 weeks aside. He didn’t advocate shock wave remedy for the backbone; he felt it really works higher the place there’s extra comfortable tissue, so he continued treating the backbone with acupuncture. Dr. Schenck hoped that finally Taylor would expertise an 80 % enchancment lasting six to seven months.

Just a number of days after the primary therapy, Efron advised Straus, “Taylor is greeting me at the door with a toy in her mouth, something she stopped doing weeks ago. She is eager to go for walks and pulls me around the block with no limping and her back legs no longer buckle. She is playful again, wanting to wrestle and play.”

Eight months after therapy, Efron despatched an replace: “Taylor is on no medications, but she gets a lot of supplements and a raw diet. I think her improvement peaked about eight weeks after the second treatment, and she’s been great on walks ever since.”

As Kristin Kirkby, DVM, wrote in “Shock Wave Therapy as a Treatment Option” within the August 2013 Clinician’s Brief, “Shock waves can be generated in many ways, but electrohydraulic devices have the greatest capacity to produce and project high energy to a deep focal depth. ESWT can be highly focused and can achieve a focal point beyond 10 centimeters into deeper tissues, depending on the treatment head used. ESWT differs from radial pressure wave therapy, which does not deliver focused energy at the target; instead, acoustic waves spread eccentrically from the applicator tip.”

According to Dr. Kirkby, shock wave remedy has been proven to modulate the osteoarthritic illness course of in animal fashions. Several research have demonstrated optimistic ends in joint vary of movement and peak vertical drive – as measured utilizing drive plate evaluation – in canines with stifle, hip, and elbow arthritis. For instance, in canines with unilateral elbow osteoarthritis handled with ESWT, enchancment in lameness and peak vertical drive was equal to that anticipated with nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medication.

A dog could also be shaved to cut back interference between the probe and the dog’s pores and skin, and a gel is utilized to enhance transmission. Treatment time relies on the quantity of vitality delivered and variety of places handled. A typical dose of 800 pulses per joint requires fewer than Four minutes to ship.

The first shock wave turbines had been costly, cumbersome, noisy, and painful, however the expertise retains bettering. The new PiezoWave2 Vet Unit makes use of piezoelectric crystals to supply high-pressure sound waves and it has made ESWT equipment smaller, extra inexpensive, and extra accessible for giant and small animals to obtain therapy with out sedation. TRT’s VetGold device is now additionally smaller and nearly pain-free, no anesthesia required.

The makers of the VersaTron 4 Paws and the newer, smaller ProPulse shock wave devices publish case research on-line, together with studies of arthritic inflammatory illness, shoulder and elbow arthritis, and lumbar spondylosis in Labrador Retrievers and different canines. In a number of circumstances, a wide range of typical and various therapies had been tried with minimal success, and the canines had been in extreme continual ache. In some circumstances lameness elevated after the primary therapy, however most canines skilled vital enchancment inside per week.

Because shock wave remedy doesn’t remedy or reverse arthritis, its aid of signs could diminish after a number of months or a yr, at which period a repeat therapy could also be wanted.

Ultrasound Therapy for Pain Reduction

Best generally known as a diagnostic device or a way of figuring out an unborn child’s intercourse, ultrasound has been utilized by bodily therapists for the reason that 1940s to alleviate ache and irritation. Sound waves generated by a piezoelectric impact attributable to the vibration of crystals within the head of a wand or probe go by the pores and skin and vibrate adjoining tissues.

In addition to having a warming impact, ultrasound has been proven to extend tissue rest, native blood circulate, and scar tissue breakdown. Conditions handled with ultrasound embrace tendonitis, joint swelling, and muscle spasms. The therapy shouldn’t be beneficial on or round malignant tumors or metallic implants.

In March 2008, a important evaluation of printed analysis on the consequences of ultrasound within the therapy and administration of osteoarthritis in people appeared within the Journal of the Canadian Chiropractic Association. Seventeen articles met the researchers’ standards for methodology and correct reporting; most of them confirmed that ultrasound, along with being cost-effective, moveable, and simple to make use of, has vital therapeutic advantages.

For details about veterinary ultrasound remedy and referrals to veterinarians who deal with canines for arthritis and different situations with this strategy, contact the American Association of Rehabilitation Veterinarians or the Canine Rehabilitation Institute, or just search on-line for veterinary ultrasound remedy.

Pulsed Electromagnetic Field Therapy (PEMF)

Magnets have lengthy been thought to have therapeutic properties, and entire industries have been created across the alleged advantages of magnetic jewellery, therapeutic massage instruments, mattress pads, and different units. Do they work? An absence of analysis on the applying of magnets to human or canine diseases or accidents makes it laborious to know.

But on the subject of pulsed electromagnetic subject remedy, or PEMF, the proof is rising. For a few years electromagnetic subject remedy was broadly utilized in Europe whereas its use within the United States was restricted to animals. Veterinarians treating racehorses for damaged bones had been the primary American well being professionals to make use of PEMF. Now hundreds of human scientific trials have proven helpful outcomes from PEMF remedy for continual low again ache, fibromyalgia, cervical osteoarthritis, osteoarthritis of the knee, lateral epicondylitis, restoration from arthroscopic knee surgical procedure, restoration from interbody lumbar fusions, persistent rotator cuff tendonitis, and different situations.

The first PEMF gadget was a coil that generated a magnetic subject into which the affected person’s physique was positioned to ship therapy. Most of at this time’s PEMF units are mats just like thick yoga mats containing flat spiral coils that produce a fair electromagnetic subject, or they include rings or coils which might be positioned on or below the individual or animal being handled, or they’re flat, round magnets that may be positioned below a mattress. An electric-frequency generator energizes the coils to create a “pulsed” electromagnetic subject.

Comparing PEMF units by their technical specs requires a crash course in frequency, amplitude, depth, sine waves, sawtooth wave kinds, Schumann resonance frequencies, and different phrases – and even the technically knowledgeable disagree as to which combos are greatest for human, canine, and equine well being. Intensity is measured in Tesla items (µT) and frequency is measured in Herz items (Hz). Those who evaluate PEMF programs often advocate staying near the earth’s magnetic subject frequencies (11.75 and 11.79 Hz, or within the Zero to 30 Hz vary) and low depth (1 to 20 microtesla, which is lower than the earth’s 30-66 microtesla).

Most of the web sites talked about right here present technical data and studies that assist customers perceive the fundamentals.

PEMF units can be utilized for acute and continual situations, and there are not any recognized opposed unwanted effects, potential drug interactions, or interactions with surgical implants. The electromagnetic subject penetrates clothes, fur, casts, and bandages to achieve all tissue within the goal space.

Acute irritation usually improves after one or two therapies, whereas continual or degenerative signs might have two weeks or a month. In most circumstances, ache drugs might be decreased or eradicated. (This must be achieved below medical supervision.)

Thanks to PEMF’s reputation in Europe, low-intensity, low-frequency, full-body PEMF mats can be found within the United States. They are designed for people however some customers report enhancements in canines and cats recovering from accidents or sickness, together with arthritis in older animals. Pets usually hunt down and sleep on PEMF units.

The greatest full-body mats are costly, with the iMRS, which is made in Switzerland, beginning at $3,600, and the Bemer, which is manufactured in Liechtenstein, beginning at $4,300. Both might be rented by the month.

PEMF for Pets

In addition to full-body mats for folks, the PEMF market gives merchandise particularly for canines, cats, horses, and different animals. See the American Holistic Veterinary Medical Association web site for veterinarians who present pulsating magnet remedy.

Originally designed for human use, the Assisi Loop is bought by Assisi Animal Health for use with pets. According to its producer, “The Assisi Loop generates a twice-per-second 2-millisecond burst of a 27.12 Megahertz radio wave signal with an amplitude of 4 microtesla. This pulse-modulated field is non-thermal and non-invasive, yet is sufficient in strength to have therapeutic benefit.”

The Loop’s electromagnetic subject extends Four to five inches on both aspect of the coil. The Assisi Loop web site explains, “By emitting a burst of micro current electricity, a field is created which evenly penetrates both soft and hard body tissue around the target area. This electromagnetic field causes a chemical cascade, which activates the well-known nitric oxide cycle. Nitric oxide is a key molecule in healing for humans and animals. The compound is released when we exercise, and when we are injured, for the body to naturally repair itself.”

The Assisi Loop is available in two sizes, 7.5 inches (20 centimeters) or Four inches (10 cm). The smaller loop is handy for treating extremities, small animals, or situations which might be targeted in an space lower than Four inches in diameter. For continual or degenerative situations like arthritis, the producer recommends giving canines three or 4 15-minute therapies per day for per week to 10 days, monitoring till you see improved mobility and fewer ache response. You can then taper down to 1 or two therapies per day and even one to a few therapies per week, and over time the affected person could also be handled solely as wanted for ache.

Both sizes of the Assisi Loop supply a minimal of 150 15-minute therapies and the Assisi Loop 2.0 Auto-Cycle gives a minimal of 100 15-minute therapies. The lifetime of the Loop relies on its battery, which, due to FDA rules, can’t be recharged or changed. One Assisi Loop usually lasts from three weeks to 6 months, relying on the situation being handled and the variety of therapies required per day.

The Assisi Loop might be bought ($280) from veterinarians and animal rehabilitation amenities or straight from Assisi Animal Health with a prescription out of your veterinarian.

Magna Wave sells a number of skilled PEMF units for between $7,000 and $21,000, plus a Magna Wave LP (Low Power) mannequin, which is beneficial for bone and soft-tissue accidents, for $429. According to its producer, the Magna Wave LP incorporates Inductively Coupled Electrical Stimulation (ICES) expertise that penetrates beneath the pores and skin’s floor and zeros in on affected deep-tissue areas. Magna Wave gives PEMF coaching, practitioner certification, and technical/enterprise help for veterinarians and different well being care professionals.

EarthPulse PEMF consists of a round magnet that goes below your (or your dog’s) mattress, by itself or together with a second magnet. The magnets plug right into a easy management unit and might be left operating with out supervision for as much as 12 hours. Its adjustable amplitude settings, restoration mode, and sleep packages make the EarthPulse a flexible, moveable, “set it and forget it” PEMF gadget. Its 5 programs vary in worth from $499 for the fundamental single-magnet mannequin to $1,799 for the four-magnet battery operated unit beneficial for horses.

The Bio-Pulse Dog Therapy System consists of a big (for canines over 50 kilos) or small (as much as 50 kilos) mat with magnetic coils mounted on comfortable foam. “The depth of field of Respond Systems Bio-Pulse PEMF Therapy System can penetrate through the entire body of a dog lying on the bed reaching deep into the joints and muscles, stimulating circulation,” explains the web site. “The system can be placed on the couch, in a crate, under your animal’s bedding or even in the car.” Prices vary from $599 to $899.

The solely PEMF system that’s designed to be worn by canines is Brandenburg Equine Therapy‘s SI (Sports Innovations) Canine PEMF Therapy Blanket. It is available in three sizes (small, medium, and huge) and is beneficial for restoration, ache administration, elevated circulation, vitalization, and basic rest. Another choice is the PEMF dog mat, which might be positioned on any sleeping floor. The remedy blankets and mats, that are made in Germany, price $1,650 every and might be rented.

The Amethyst BioMat

Who wouldn’t need to relaxation on a mattress of amethyst crystals? Add mild warmth produced by far infrared expertise and the stress-free advantages of unfavourable ions, and you’ve got a spa expertise – one which your dog can take pleasure in, too.

BioMats, manufactured in South Korea the place the expertise is standard and nicely researched, are recognized for their anti-inflammatory results, offering aid from sprains, strains, muscle and joint ache, stiffness, stress, and fatigue. BioMats are available in a number of sizes, beginning with the BioMat Mini (17 by 33 inches, eight kilos, $670 plus $40 transport). The mat is sewn with channels containing alternating rows of amethyst and tourmaline crystals, recognized amongst crystal fanatics for their therapeutic properties.

For years I stored a BioMat Mini on our couch, turned to the bottom warmth setting. Chloe, my Labrador Retriever, ignored it as a result of she most popular to sleep together with her head on a frozen water bottle. But with age, her preferences modified, and by her 10th birthday, Chloe was spending a number of hours each day stretched out on the couch. Many BioMat customers report that, like Chloe, their canines went from stiff and sore to extra relaxed and cell quickly after they began resting on the mat.

Creature Comforts

As our canines age, we do the whole lot we are able to to make them snug. In addition to diet, train, weight administration, pure and prescription ache drugs, aromatherapy, medicinal herbs, and assistive units, at this time’s applied sciences could present the help that can make a distinction for your older dog.

Montana resident CJ Puotinen is the writer of The Encyclopedia of Natural Pet Care and different books.

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[dememarquette]

ASHWATER: Epilogue [...pt 2]

[First Part by malum--in--se]

The only person I knew in this city was Adria.

I mean, really knew. As far as connections went, I was at a loss. My life had been rooted deep in good old California. Due to circumstances you can catch at 7 PM Central on HBO, it was violently severed last month. And while I was hitting it off in Modena better than expected, no one should have been at my door. Adria was also the only one who knew my address, but this early in the afternoon she’d be elbow-deep in CSI: Modena. My door beeped again. After the second time, sheer annoyance prompted to peek at the security camera. A stout woman, barely clearing five feet stood at the foot of the building. I don’t recognize her, but she sure was acting familiar with my buzzer. It pinged again, extended as she held her thumb on the button. This time I responded. ”Apartment 312 speaking; do you mind?” She stopped her pacing, pivoted, and jammed a finger on the intercom, a little too excited. “Mr.Marquette? Hello, hello! This is Kathy Grover- I’d like to sit down with you for a meeting. It’s- it’s confidential.” “Confidential?” “You’ll see, uhm." She adjusted the large messenger bag on her shoulder. "I'll only need fifteen minutes for a quick chat. It’s in your best interests, honest! Pretty please, please pleaseee.” Well that doesn’t sound creepy.

I glanced at my television. Noting that the Kardashian’s weren't going anywhere, I supposed I could postpone my afternoon plans a bit. I sighed, giving her the all-clear. “I’ll bite. Come on up.” She disappeared off the camera. Three minutes later, tiny knocks hit my door in record time. I welcomed her in. She rushed inside, already flipping open her laptop to make herself at home before a proper introduction. I smirked, admiring her spunk until it looked like she was about to have a mental breakdown on my coffee table. I require coasters, even for tears. “If Julia asks,” She exhaled. “I’m not here.” “If Julia asks, neither am I." I pocketed my hands. "What’s this about?” “Ashwater. I'm writing your account.” Right, I snorted. I knew she was going to milk it for everything it was worth. That line in the contract about a book deal was much more appealing a year ago. “If this is really about business you really should have made an appointment.” It's worth nothing that I'm using the terms ‘business’ and ‘appointment’ lightly. Things aren’t what they were. I was out of the limelight, but our personal notoriety in the city had gotten me somewhere within healing the community. To put it lightly, the mass suicides completely fucked up Modena. Not that they needed a dose of Catholicism to fix it right up- but my niche and trendy factor multiplied by survivor status gave me a leg-up on the competition. It’s not television, and it’s little more than a step higher than where I started at the inception of my career but the church I operate from is mine. Mine. At one month in, I’m wondering how lost track of that concept in the first place. "-And I have made it clear I'm done with that whole mess." “I am here for my business, but it is about your business.” She paused, nose wrinkled. “I’m sorry- she did tell me not to contact you, but I can’t help it. It’s your life. The history major in me wants it to be accurate.” I can't blame her for that. Part of me knows Julia would dance on the border of defamation of character all day if she could. I pulled up a chair. “Noooow that you mention it, I think I'd rather it be accurate too.” Sure, it was valuable time but I will never pass up the chance to talk about myself. "Most if it is on film though, what do you need to know? “This romance with Adria. It’s so confusing.” Record scratch. Uh. “What?” “It’s up, down- off, on- it’s difficult to fill in the blanks between takes.” “What do you mean ‘romance’?” Now she was confused. “W-what?” “There is no romance. Nada.” “Oh no..." She cupped her mouth. "Did it fall apart after you moved to Modena?” “What?! No. It never happened. Where are you even getting that? Don’t tell me the forums or I'll kick you out right now.” Suspicious, she turned her screen my way. Alright PAUSE. It's time for me to admit it: Adria and I's closeness has...never been an easy subject to broach. I'm not oblivious to my on screen chemistry with Adria. What am I saying- I'm not oblivious to our chemistry in general.What made Ashwater great, and not a repressed episode of trauma, was Adria. She was a breath of fresh air when Hollywood met a cornfield. Our banter was great, her devotion was pure, and I'll be the first to say I came out of that town a new person. The US audiences saw that within us. That was the whole draw- aside from all the spooky shit, of course. We just worked really, really well together. Miss Kathy thought so to, and decided to condense that down into a ten minute montage. She spliced together our interactions. Starting from a little bit before the family dinner, to post-Boris, to the kid's hospital, and then the whole Crocotta roller coaster that was only nuanced on television, but never clearly explained. I don’t blame her for losing track. While I can account for all the stupid stuff I did between takes, the cameras couldn’t. I found myself smiling when reliving Adria's candid honesty, and cringing like a kicked dog when I had fucked up. "Uh-" I stopped her as soon as the two of us stepped into the frame in disguise. "We can skip this part..." “Well fine- one last one though! This is my favorite.” Her cursor jumped ahead on the timeline, and my heart stopped. I had no idea the film was salvaged that far into the night. It was post-Modena in the heart of the cult warehouse. The entire scene was dark except the licks of fire on the edges. How the camera was still rolling, I had no clue. It was on its last leg. The footage shoddy at best. All scratched up, and battered. The woman I was following was barely visible, completely obscured by smoke, but by the time I had gotten out of the wooden shack the lens was clear. Adria was in the background, at the edge of the trees. You could tell the moment I saw her- she was my focal point. She was my purpose. It captured every step I limped towards her until I ultimately collapsed by her side, and the frame turned upward into the storm clouds. The feed went still. Nothing except the wave of trees overhead, and smoke clearing out until Kathy sped it up again. She stopped, just before- “Deme?” Adria’s voice cracked. It still gave me chills. But in that moment, a wounded and battered Adria had a different connotation. The view turned- energized, and sharp enough to catch a frame of our hands interlocked. Our voices were so bad it merited captioning, but miraculously every detail was intact through the trauma. I hadn’t realized I stopped breathing until the screen was ripped away. Kathy pulled up a littered word document, eyes wide and grin stretching ear to ear. “See! You can’t hide anything from me, Mr.Marquette.” I blinked, faltering when ripped out of the past and put on the spot. “I’m not hiding anything- what- what are you writing?!” I ran around the table. Her fingers, going a mile a minute, tried to capture my reaction. Something about warmth in my face, the light in my eyes. She completely scripted a flashback that honestly didn’t happen. The moment in the raw was way better than any metaphor she could twist around. “'That's the moment I knew we were destined to-what?! That is NOT how I’d say that.” “How would you put it?” “Uh- I’d say that yeah, I was happy to see her alive, but-” “No, no.” She primed her hands back at the starting line. “Start from the beginning?” Fifteen minutes, my ass. It was the longest two hours of my life. - - - 6 AM the following Sunday, I was setting up the chapel. I couldn't get her film off my mind. The scenes, everything. I'd never get around to re-watching the series because: A. My shoulder revolted just thinking about it. B. It was still a sore spot for both of us. Not the whole thing, obviously, but what it’d inevitably lead up to. Though we got past that. I’d like to think she forgave me after all this time, but I'd understand if she didn’t. Point is that we set it aside to grow as people. I was content with how our cards fell. We were close, and we cared about each other. A lot. That was sort of it... But then the weird part kicked in. Someone else saw something...Not some creep online, but someone trusted enough to write my fucking autobiography, for example. She saw something was there. That's when it really sunk in. Was it that obvious? And did its obviousness meant she felt...something too? The signs were there. It sounds nice on paper to say she did, but is that why we were here? Is that why I invited her? Did I pick Modena because I honestly thought this was the only place I could make it after Julia? And did she only join me because she was intending to go there anyways? Or was it more? I acted on impulse in that hospital- or at least that’s what I played it off as. Why? Because I don’t know how to explain an alternative. It’s truly what I wanted at the time. Now I have to figure out what it all means, and what's is going on in her head- which is easier said than done, by the way. She hasn’t said anything about it! And if there was any reoccurring theme from our time there, it was that I don't know what she’s thinking. I didn't know, and maybe I never will. She's so different. She's everything I'm not, and would never think to be, but inspiring. That's what made her exciting. Not that golden Jesus would agree. Throughout the course of this mental monologue, I didn't realize I had dusted His head so many times he was starting to get a bald spot- ah… These thoughts were best saved for a time outside the church. I coughed, trying to dismiss the shallow guilt wadding up in my chest. "Sorry Jesus." - - - Our schedules had a tendency to clash when she got into detective boot camp. Communication became sparse. We caught each other at odd times on odd days just to keep in touch. It was fine. I understand it was a whole lot of settling in for the both of us. I had a whole community to cultivate, and she had be rehabilitated into dealing with delicate humans instead of kicking monster ass. Reasonably, that'll take awhile. Still- that left me bored after services were said and done. I don't miss the danger. God no, I don't. I missed the interaction. I missed the dependency, my partner in crime. Restlessness became an itch anytime I had too much time on my hands. Small at first, until the two month mark when it became maddening. I thought it was attention deprivation at first. I put myself out there. I would do stupid AMA's online, and reply to fan mail in an attempt to catch the same high I did a year back. Surprisingly it.... Didn't help at all. Especially not when little postscripts on the letters asked how Adria was doing, too. It left a sour taste in my mouth when I didn't know what to tell them so that hobby ended rather quickly. Community events were my next go-to. That had more luck. They were equally productive and fun. I got the chance to raise funds to spruce up my chapel to what it should be, and could be the center of the attention while doing it. That cured idle hands a little more. One of the latest was a bake sale benefit held downtown. It wasn't exactly my scene, geared toward your more elderly audiences. Don't get me wrong, I'll always have fun charming the older ladies, but they had it under wraps. I snuck out when the chance arose but stopped cold on the stoop. “What the-” A sudden flash of fury sparked when I saw a pink ticket on my dashboard. I did not put that EXTREMELY tacky parking pass on my windshield of my 'Rari for nothing. I stormed over and swiped it off the dash, ready to raise all sorts of holy Hell with the city of Modena when I noticed it was a blank form. Nothing was scribbled on it but the word ’Lunch?’ in sloppy cursive. Her handwriting. I put it with the other one. - - - The weekly lunches started back up afterward. Absolutely non-negotiable. Not even the sickest orphan could make me work within the noon-3PM block on Fridays. Granted, we weren’t at Jo’s. I didn't have any show on the air, and she didn't have to play damage control for her mom, but it was pleasant. It was a tiny piece of Ashwater I'm glad we reinstated. Location changed weekly as I found new spots I thought she’d like. Hearing she'd never had sushi before was unacceptable. My hands around hers, I guided the grip of her chopsticks. With a little adjustment, they were functional. "-That's horrifying." I balked. "What? It was worse training to be a cop! This was more procedural stuff." "But running five miles in how long? How is that humanly possible?" "Hey," She grinned. "That's just keeping in shape. Join me at the gym sometime. I'll make you the buffest preacher in New England." "Pass." I said, rejecting that mental image. "But really, how’s the force?” “It’s great!" She beamed. "Surreal compared to Ashwater, which is saying something. Exciting but different. A good kind of different.” “‘Different’?” I asked, giving up chopsticks for a fork when her dexterity as a newbie already had mine beat. At least I know what a soup spoon is. “That’s not what I was expecting. Just not the same as running straight into monsters, huh?” “Maybe I don’t have anyone to chase.” She propped up her chin with a hand, warm smile from across the table. “Except, you know, the bad guys.” “Except the bad guys.” Somehow I don't think they'll have as much fun being tailed by her as I've had. Their loss; but that would be weird to say. Instead I accidentally opted for something weirder entirely, because I'm a teenager. “How’s your partner?” Her eyebrow flicked up. “Partner?” “Yeah, don’t you get assigned one? Or something.” I picked at the sashimi with practiced disinterest. "Cops are never alone on TV." "Well yeah. Uh. He's fine. We get along great. He's been on the team a lot longer than me, I've got a lot of learning to do." "Oh, he's way older?" "Uh...yes?" I tried not to sound too relieved. "Oh nice, nice. He'll be a good, uh. Mentor." Puzzled, she lost sight of where I was going with this. "...I guess?" "I'm happy for you." Great. Now it's awkward, but you wouldn't have known that from my attitude. She finished her lunch, and I flagged the waiter over. Adria reached for her wallet, and I stopped her. "No- no. Don't worry about it. I got this." "You? Pay?" She said, in exaggerated surprise. "Am I dealing with the fake Deme again?" I laughed, painfully. Ha ha ha. Now she did it. I felt even worse, itching to make a desperate call. "Consider it a congratulations for making it through training." "I was done two weeks ago-" "Oh, if you don't want me to, I won't." I recoiled, defensive. The beginnings of a coy smile crept into her lips. She let go of her wallet like it’d explode with any sudden movements, sarcastic. I wanted to run. "No, I won't stop you~" "Great." "Great." - - - For the first time in forever, I couldn't wait to shove her into her car to LEAVE. I screwed that up. Royally. What kind of message was I trying to put out? That I'm into her, or that I'm a freaky stalker? Subtly isn’t my strong suit, and if any RomCom had ever made it okay just to say ‘Date me, already, god.’ and skip the formalities, I would. Thankfully, my phone still had a very special number on speed dial. The second her vehicle turned the corner, I was on the line. "Ashwater Cottage, Margie speaking!" "Marg, I need your help." - - - Our call spanned the entire drive back to my apartment. I explained everything. I went over the signs I was seeing, to how badly I screwed lunch up. It was irredeemable in retrospect, but Margie didn't think so. In fact, she reassured me three separate times that hand holding wasn't something Adria did with just her best buddies (and that she was really, really sure) before I cracked. Little did she know that was another hour long conversation in the making. “Okay- how about this:" I splayed my fingers on the steering wheel. "DRIVE IN MOVIE. Or is that too much of a smalltown cliche?” “A drive-in would be lovely.” “I don’t know- Footloose was just on the other night, she might know it was uninspired.” "You're overthinking it, dear." “I don't think so! There has got to be a reason she hasn't said anything. I haven't really wow'd her yet. How did her parents do it?” “Uh…” “No! No, you’re right. That’s creepy. Ugh, do you see why I need help?!” Margie chuckled. “Honey, have you dated anyone before?” “Well YES-” I paused. “No? Maybe?” “Not like this?” She suggested. I slumped against the the steering wheel. Yeah, exactly… I've never had to deal with this. Any of it. Even in high school I was the type more interested in fun for the night than anything that spanned longer than a week. And before a year ago, that just made more sense. You want to know why? Because this is hard. She knows me deeper than a flash of the smile, and pretty words. She knows ME me, and some of the gross, off-putting selfish stuff Demetrius Marquette entails. Like, even the literal gross gore and inner tendons. If you asked me a year ago what it’d take for someone to be my better half, I’d have said “zeros and commas.” Now, I have a whole list of strangely specific virtues, and adjectives that would only come to a poet. I don’t want to ruin this because I am damn sure I’d never find something like this again, and I don’t want to. Margie sighed, the pleasant kind where you could hear her smiling as she did it. My silence was intuitively taken as an affirmative. “Don’t you worry about it. Adria isn’t a girl who is going to be impressed by a diamonds and opera theater. She doesn’t need grand displays or money- she just wants you." “..She does?” “Haha, well I won’t speak for her! You’ll have to figure these things out on your own, but don’t dilly dally. Be yourself.” “Right…” I shifted. “Don’t...say anything to anyone about this, okay?” “Your secret is safe with me. Good luck!” - - - So drive-in movie wasn’t happening. Regular movie is too basic (and cheap). Not much else wasn’t much jumping out at me. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, I came up with nothing. Margie put emphasis on a personal flair instead of flashiness. But what if my personal flair is flashiness? I had to find a middle ground between, and that idea didn’t come to me until a horse and carriage tour clopped outside the chapel. It helped me come up with a plan. Mentally, too. No, I wasn’t going to take Adria on a stinky, over-crowded novelty ride around the town. I went on my own time, for a better grasp of the city. Something around here had to be us and I found it. The reservation to a five-star was an afterthought and the catalyst. This dinner itself would be the two of us. Despite the exuberant exterior, we’d content in our world just as we’d have been on the hood of her cruiser or on a bale of hay. I made the conscious effort not to think about what I was doing or what she was thinking because I never had before, and that’s what worked for us. What Adria was to me was comfort. I needed to stop saying things I thought I should and just...go with it. The skin-tight red dress was just a bonus. Afterwards was more important, anyways. I told myself if we got to that point, there was no longer any room for doubt. - - - After dinner, we took to the streets. I walked. My eyes were studiously focused on the sidewalk ahead. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught her double take in the opposite direction. This was the part where I normally walked her back to her car, but she didn’t say a word nor miss a step. Wordlessly confirming, my hand slipped out of my coat when the cool autumn air would normally advise against it. Our fingers didn’t brush against each other. Instead, they instinctively clasped. The city was gorgeous this time of year. And the park? Beautifully abandoned. Kids were in school, and the homeless populace had found shelters above forty degrees. I scoped this spot out via tour before booking our reservation. It was only a block away. It spoke to me. When you got past the statues and benches, the main attraction was the fountain. The guide warned that it’d be the last few days of the season where it’d be in up and running. Soon the ice would claim it; it felt like a metaphor, in a way. For now, it was left on, lights and all. We stopped to sit on the fountain walls. Sign dissuading it be damned, we only paid attention to the plaque. It was engraved on the side with the names and descriptions of heroes from another calamity before our time. Adria took the time to read over it. I was less patient, finding more to revere in the woman before me. I patted the concrete beside me. “We should have really got one of these in Ashwater, huh?” “Yeah. But they already dedicated a day to us.” She said, taking the spot. She shimmied closer until our arms touched. “What more do we need? Wait- don’t answer that.” “What?” I said, offended. “I wasn’t going to say anything. Well, except I don’t know how they’d fit Kyriakoulopoulos on it.” “Hey,” She nudged. “You learned my name.” I winked. Learning a woman’s name on the first date, Dating 101. I didn’t trust myself to say that out loud. Instead, the stillness baited our eyes to the water. The colored bulbs shifted under the icy surface in a continuous luminescent transition. Blue, green, yellow, orange, red... The glow on the half profile of her face was driving me crazy, even when I tried to ignore it. There's no word in English to describe the feeling when there’s so much comfort it hurts. It’s been full year of memories, broken boundaries, and new horizons. It all jumbled together into a rocky formation to spite me. It urged me forward because staying still was no longer an option. The fingers that curled around mine burned. Pulsing, like they threatened to disintegrate if I let another moment pass me by. If there was more to us, I had to have more. “Adria…" I broke the tranquility, stilted. "I need to say something. You’re...really important to me.” “I already told you I can’t get you out of a parking ticket,” She chuckled. I ignored the bite of sarcasm, moving my hand away from hers to free it. I rehearsed this so many times. I don’t know the words that go along with the scenes, only the motions. They're intimate- like a silent film. When she looked back at me, all humor drained away. ‘Oh no, he’s serious.’ Maybe I am. No- I bit my lip. There’s no maybe. I am serious. I am I am I am. We were heading for uncharted territory, but I needed to go. The change of scene wasn’t doing anything if we were staying in the same place. I couldn’t be satisfied with where we were anymore. Tonight, I was cashing in everything. “Deme...” Her voice broke. Instead of moving closer like she was scripted to, she leaned away. I twitched. Just as I was about to reach for her, the muscles in my palm turning to stone. “I always do this. I’m sorry.” …? My brows furrowed. Scratch that- what?! Okay, I was heading into uncharted territory, and she was fumbling on the opposite side of the map. “Adria...what- what are you talking about-?” “It’s so stupid- I went too far. You don’t have to say it.” Her freed hand balled into her other one, nearly aggressive in nature. “I’ve already made you leave once, and I can’t- I can't do it again...” My head was reeling trying to figure out where we got off track. She got up to leave, and I grabbed her hand. Her lack of conviction to keep going proved she didn’t really want to go. “Are you crazy?” “The whole priest thing, I know you-” “Can’t wait?” “What?” Her eyes finally met mine, glassy. “You’re not serious right? Adria, you're not asking me to do anything I don’t want to do. If I’m doing anything it’s because I want you.” I squeezed her hand like she had in the clearing. “Very bad.” “Deme, I-” Oh God. No. I pulled her down beside me to trade her hand for her cheek. Delicate- I held her chin, examining her slightly smudged mascara from different angles. “Are you- are you crying? You’re literally crying!” I laughed, brushing an icy tear from her cheek with my thumb. “You’re ridiculous." "It's not ridiculous!" She said, cheeks flushing at the touch. She was burning, too, but on the outside couldn’t decide what emotion she wanted to embody. That was…relieving. In that moment, I realized two things. One, we both really, really sucked at this, and two: if this- this unsaid, indescribable thing between us was wrong, I had zero will-power to stop myself. The time for talking was gone. The mist from the fountain was steaming off of us. Dead in the middle of Autumn, we were on fire. Our breaths fogged up everything around us except each other. The timing was right, so right. I went for it. I kissed her. With bated breath, I pulled her in. One firm hand on her cheek and the other at the base of her neck, I wanted her. So bad- and I let her know. She wanted me, too. She was waiting for it. Unlike the talk before, there was zero awkwardness. She was fluid. Her lips moved in perfect sync with mine with an ease stated the obvious. We held back too long, but it was the wait that ignited it. A warmth that pushed through our entire bodies. It drove us into each other, both equally fighting to make up for lost time in the other’s arms, and to say the things we had no words for. The girl with walls a mile thick melted into me. And I lured her in just so we could go down together. The hand supporting her followed the curve of her spine. Past the scars, past the pain- she fell with me, recumbent on the fountain’s edge. Her hands gripped tight onto the collar of my coat, while her legs went weak on either side. I held her steady when we threatened to throw ourselves over the edge. I’m not going anywhere. Nor did I plan to. Things were changing again, but there’s no way we’d hesitate.

[eat-a-mint-jungkook]

Just Give Me a Reason

Aaand the reveals are out! Here’s my fic for the Jikook Kissmas Day exchange~ 

It’s also on AO3! 

7k of wintery Jikook fluff fluff fluff (and a dash of angst)

Jimin shows Jungkook the reasons why he needs a girlfriend, and the one reason that he doesn’t.

Blind date.

The two words that Jungkook had been hearing over and over from the moment he got home for the winter break. It was like an earworm—constantly echoing through his mind even after his parents had finally stopped repeating it.

Jungkook hated the topic. He didn’t need a girlfriend, heck, he wasn’t even good at talking to girls. It was difficult enough just trying to get through his finals, and he didn’t need another thing to worry about. So when his parents brought up inviting Soljin over for a Christmas dinner with their family, he called for backup from his best friend.

Jimin and Jungkook had been the best of friends since they were kids in elementary school, and Jungkook figures that if anyone could understand his current situation, it’d be Jimin.

And if anyone could convincingly pretend to be his significant other, it’d also be Jimin.

“Where are you going?” Jungkook’s mom asked as he opened the front door.

“Heading out with my girlfriend!” He lied through his teeth, running outside.

“What makes you think this plan will work?” Jimin questioned as they walked along the street. “It seems kind of flimsy considering how I’ve already known your parents for so long.”

“We’ll make it work. Or just enough so that they get off my back about this whole dating thing. I just hate how they keep nagging me about it,” Jungkook huffed, kicking a rock out of his way. “Like, before it used to be about how I needed to improve my math grades, and then when I did that, it would be applying for university, and then now that that’s done, it seems like they’re not going to stop about this. Well, until I actually get a girlfriend or something.”

“I mean, you could just get a girlfriend.” Jimin raised an eyebrow at him.

Jungkook wrinkled his nose, adverse to the idea. “But why do you need someone else to be happy? My life is already good enough as it is—well, or bad enough, depending on how you look at it—and I just find no reason to need a girlfriend.”

Jimin chuckled. “That’s true, but don’t you ever feel lonely? Like, especially during the holidays where everywhere you go, there seems to be couples there, acting all lovey-dovey.”

Jungkook thought a bit. Sure, it might be nice to have someone to do all those things with, but to him, it wasn’t much different from what he already had. Jimin was the one who usually went with him to all of those places anyway. Whether it’s the movies, trendy new restaurants that they wanted to try, or just hanging out at one of their houses on special holidays.

“But I have you. Why would I need a girlfriend when I already have you?” Jungkook asked, mouth setting into a frown. “You’re pretty much the same thing already.”

“Thanks, now I’m Jungkook’s girlfriend.” His best friend gave have him a boring look. “That may be true, but a significant other shouldn’t just be a romantic partner. What makes the best relationships is usually having someone who’s like a best friend.” He paused, thinking about the rest. “Besides, you can do much more with your significant other than with your best friend.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” Jimin trailed off. “A lot of things.” A hint of a smile appeared at the edge of his lips. “If you want, I-I guess I could show you? Since we’re proceeding with your plan anyway.”

“Mhm, yeah sure.” Jungkook replied easily. “We’re definitely going to need to practice if we want to be convincing the next time you meet them.”

The next time they headed out was to the Christmas Market, and it was time to put the plan into action.

Strings of unlit lights were strung across the street, in between old-style lanterns that would glow when it got dark. Wooden stalls lined up at the sides of the small street, each vendor selling something different and unique from the rest. It was still fairly empty as it was the afternoon, but Jungkook was sure that this place would come to life as soon as nightfall hit.

“It’s so cold.” Jungkook blew air at his hands, trying to warm them up.

Jimin reached out, “Here, give me your hand.”

Jungkook expected them to be warm, to provide some much needed heat to defrost his own. But he was completely wrong.

“Yah, what the—?” He tried pulling his hands back from Jimin’s below-freezing ones, but the shorter boy kept them trapped tightly. “You baited me.” He glared at his best friend.

But when Jimin intertwined their fingers, he completely stilled in surprise.

The brunette gave him a cheeky smile. “And that’s what holding hands is like.”

“Tch, it might’ve been nicer if your hands weren’t so cold.” Jungkook snorted, shoving his hands back into his coat pockets.

Oh, right. It was just a part of the fake dating thing.

Soon, it started getting dark very fast, the sun disappearing without a trace. Only a faint blue at the edges were reminiscent of the light in the sky. There were no streaks of orange and yellow, bleeding together across the horizon like there’d been in days not long ago.

As he’d expected, the night market started bustling to life. The strings of Christmas lights strung across the streets lit up, casting an radiant glow to the market. It was almost magical, like something one would see in a movie, like the memories of early Christmases as a child. They sparkled, twinkling against the reflections of eyes as they would light up with wonder and excitement. They danced in Jimin’s eyes, creating a kind of gleam in them that had him staring for a bit.

“Look over there!” Jimin’s soft voice called. Jungkook looked over to where the shorter boy was pointing.

Over by the end of the street was a giant Christmas tree, all decorated with shiny ornaments. The different coloured lights flickered and faded, pigments changing every few seconds. It was simply beautiful.

He also noticed the amount of couples nearby, taking intimate-looking pictures of themselves. A lot of them were kissing or touching in some way, and he quickly looked away from them, flashing a smile at Jimin instead.

“Um, I mean…we could…” Jungkook started.

“Do you want to take a picture?” Jimin asked, pulling out his phone. “Smile!” He beamed at the screen, pulling Jungkook closer to him.

Jungkook grinned, showing a toothy smile as he bent just slightly to shift even closer to Jimin.Their faces were pressed closely together, practically cheek to cheek, with the faint shadows of the light casted against their skin.

What he didn’t expect, was that at the last minute, Jimin’s lips lightly brushed his cheek.

A… kiss?

“And that’s what taking a couple selfie is like.” A bubbly laugh released from his mouth and Jungkook was left staring at him, cheeks reddening.

“How was that?” Jimin asked him later. “That was what, two reasons already, right?”

“Mhm,” Jungkook mumbled. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t bad at all since it was Jimin.

He might’ve enjoyed it more than he let on.

“Welcome to Tea Palace!” A tall and handsome boy greeted from behind the counter. His name tag that said “Taehyung”, and a green apron were the only indication that he worked here instead of at some sort of modelling agency. “Have you guys heard about our buy one, get one free deal?”

Jungkook shook his head slightly, glancing over at the sign beside the counter.

“We have a Christmas special for couples—if you share a kiss under our mistletoe over there,” he pointed to the corner of the store where there was some mistletoe hanging above a giant photo frame, “then post it on social media and tag us in it, then you can get two bubble teas for the price of one.”

“Oh, cool.” Jimin nodded. He gave Jungkook a sideways glance, a hint of a mischievous smirk apparent on his face.

“Jimin—we can just—”

“Do you want to do it, baby?”

He should’ve known what the brunette was thinking.

“I—what—um, sure…I mean if you want to,” Jungkook managed to squeak. He was sure that his face was as red as a tomato by now, and the barista boy’s intense gaze didn’t help at all.

Jimin took his hand, leading him over to the corner. Taehyung followed along behind them, taking the phone from Jimin when he passed it to him to take the picture.

It’ll just be like earlier. No big deal. Calm down, Jeon!

“Okay, whenever you’re ready!” Taehyung glanced at them from behind the camera, a few feet away from where they were behind the giant photo frame.

Jimin smiled, pulling Jungkook slightly closer. Sure, he’d been this close to his best friend before, but it was never in this kind of situation, and seeing him in this different kind of light made his heart race. He could see the way Jimin’s eyes sparkled as they focused only on him, the contour of his cheeks, and the curve of his pink lips.

“Just close your eyes and relax.” Jimin whispered and gave the smallest of nods, reassuringly. Jungkook slowly closed his eyes as he felt hands gently cup his face, and then there was the warmth of Jimin’s breath against his lips.

Wait where do I put my hands? Am I supposed to bend down lower…? What if I mess it up and Jimin hates me forever and we don’t even get our free bubble tea?

Jungkook decided he couldn’t have this failing. They were pretending to be a couple today after all, so this had better be believable. As Jimin’s lips slowly met with his own, he tilted his head just slightly more to the right and put his hands around the smaller boy’s waist, lightly pulling him in until there was no space between them anymore.

The kiss was soft, sweet like the smell of sugar floating in the air, tender like the whisper of a faint summer breeze. Despite how confident he seemed earlier, Jimin’s touch seemed almost hesitant—a bit shyer with the way his fingertips brushed against Jungkook’s cheeks, and how tentatively his plush lips glided so easily into his own.

It ended even before he realized he’d been expecting more, but it left him breathless nonetheless. Jimin’s cheeks were dusted with pink and when he opened his eyes and met Jungkook’s, he quickly looked away with the slightest smile.

When Jungkook finally glanced over at their cameraman, Taehyung was standing there was his mouth wide open in a shocked stance.

“Um, so did you get that?” Jimin asked quietly. That seemed to jerk barista-boy out of his thoughts and he quickly nodded.

“Yes, yes of course.” He handed the phone back to Jimin. “That was so romantic,” he said under his breath a little too loudly.

Jimin ducked away from Jungkook’s stare but found his hand and laced their fingers together.

“I posted it.” Jimin chuckled, showing Taehyung his phone screen. Jungkook peered over to get a look at it too, but Jimin quickly closed it before he could see it properly. Nonetheless, even the vague image of them kissing made his heart skip a beat.

“That’s cute,” Taehyung stopped to cough a few times, “um, so you get to choose anything from on the menu! Just pay the price of the more expensive one.”

Jungkook chose something on autopilot mode while his mind was constantly drifting back to the kiss scene.

“Well that was a success. Look at all the benefits that couples get.” Jimin elbowed him teasingly as they left the store. “I guess we were quite convincing.”

When he later checked his social media, Jungkook did see that Jimin posted a picture of the two of them, but it wasn’t of them kissing, nor was the caption a single red heart like he thought he previously saw.

Jungkook eyed the ice cautiously as soon as they got within proximity of the rink. It was Jimin’s idea to go skating, and if it were anyone else, Jungkook would’ve rejected the thought right away. But there were only a few days of winter break left, and he wanted to spend as much time as possible with his bestie.

“Come on, we’ll be even better than them.” Jimin gestured towards all the couples skating on the ice.

The ice looked quite crowded with people skating all around: from families to small children, to…couples. Lots of couples. They seemed to all be laughing, with the bright smiles on their faces. Jungkook was just glad he couldn’t hear them under the booming of the music being played nearby.

However, he had a more urgent problem at the moment, since many people meant many blades. And many blades meant many chances of getting into some sort of accident with them. What if—

“Come on, the ice is perfect right now.” Jimin beckoned from where he stood at the edge of the rink, waving at Jungkook, who was still firmly planted on the bench.

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” he muttered, shakily standing up and trying not to wobble from side to side on the blades.

“You’ll be fine; you learn so quickly.” Jimin smiled reassuringly. “Besides, I’ll catch you if you fall.”

He simply gave the other a wary glance and then he was slowly putting his left skate down onto the ice. He made sure it wouldn’t slide out from underneath him before attempting to shift his weight and lift his right foot.

And that’s when it happened.

He definitely foresaw this coming, but couldn’t do anything to stop it as both of his feet started sliding forward and he couldn’t shift his weight fast enough, and then he was falling, falling—

“You okay?” Jimin’s hands were tight around his waist, attempting to hold Jungkook up from where he stood behind him. “That was a close one.”

Heart still pounding from almost having fallen, he got his next scare when he tried to look at Jimin’s expression, and discovers that their faces were mere centimetres apart.

He quickly turns away. “Y-yeah. Real close. Thanks.”

Jimin helps him back on his feet and Jungkook finds himself missing the warmth of his body already.

“Okay, so it’s just like rollerblading, but you get more freedom on the ice without friction.” Jimin skates in front of him then does a half spin, turning around to face him. “Keep all your weight on one foot, then as you push off, shift all your weight to the gliding foot.”

Jungkook did as he said, trying to take small steps forward, but never staying on one foot for too long. Jimin continues skating backwards, always staying in front of Jungkook with his arms slightly outstretched, as if ready to catch him at any moment if he falls. 

“You still have to lift your foot, you know,” the brunette teased with the amusement clear on his face.

“Shut up,” Jungkook muttered. He lifted his foot just a bit higher this time after he pushed off, just to show him.

But somehow something didn’t work again.

Jimin was there in an instant, catching him as he tripped and stumbled forward.

“Don’t laugh.” He shot a dull look at the ground, already knowing the kind of expression the shorter boy would be wearing.

“Do you want me to pull you along? Some people find it easier to just glide first to get used to the feeling of skates.” Jimin pulled him up, but didn’t let go of his hands this time.

His hands were barely warmer than Jungkook’s, but they were comforting all the same. Jimin started skating backwards, his feet going in alternating C-shaped movements while he constantly checked over his shoulder for other skaters. At first they were just slowly weaving their way in between the crowd, but then Jimin started speeding up, hands tightening their grip on Jungkook’s.

“Will you stop putting your feet like that? It makes you a thousand times heavier to drag.” Jimin chuckled. “Well, on the bright side, it looks like you’ve figured out how to stop.”

“This is how you stop?” Jungkook tried exaggerating the slight triangle shape his feet were forming, which did not go as expected.

The front of his skates collided into each other, managing to trip him, which caused him to tumble straight into Jimin. To make matters worse, when Jimin tried to hold him up, that made their skates crash together and it knocked the both of them down.

And that’s how Jimin ended up splayed on top of him, head resting on his chest. Jungkook couldn’t really feel the pain from falling or the iciness under his thick jacket, not when there was the warmth of Jimin there.

“Sorry…” He tried to lift his head a bit to look at the brunette. “Are you okay?”

“Jungkook, are you okay?” Jimin met his eyes. “Did you hit your head? How’s your tailbone? Gosh, I should get off of you. It must hurt enough already.”

Jimin made a move to carefully climb over him, but just got pulled down again.

“No, wait,” Jungkook murmured. Brushing his thumb over Jimin’s bottom lip, he hesitated just a second before bringing his mouth down and sealing them over the other’s.

Jimin’s lips were cold but the warmness of his mouth made up for it. The warmth of everything about him, especially when his cheeks heated up even more.

“…maybe you did hit your head.” Jimin murmured shyly when they pulled apart, looking away as he rolled off of him.

“Mhm,” Jungkook hummed, sitting up on the ice. Now that Jimin’s warmth was gone, he could feel the frigid surface beneath his butt. But nothing seemed to explain why kissing Jimin had just felt so right, even if it was all a part of their plan. “Maybe…”

“Get up,” a hand reached out for him, and if it weren’t for how cold his butt was, he would be tempted to pull Jimin back down again. He took Jimin’s hand and put one blade down on the ice, before carefully shifting his weight and setting the other one down.

One hand tightened around his, guiding him forward slowly, not letting go for the rest of the time they spent on the ice.

Jungkook can’t say he regretted the decision to go skating, despite having fallen all too many times. There was no complaining when Jimin’s hand stayed glued to his the whole day, even its coldness providing warmth in some way.

The square was crowded by the time they arrived close to midnight. People were bundled up and huddled together in the below freezing temperatures, swaying just slightly as they watched the performances on stage. The music was loud and Jungkook could feel the bass vibrate through his whole body.

With Jimin’s hand in his, they weaved their way through the sea of people and found a spot closer to the center of the square.

“There are only ten minutes left until we ring in the New Year! Do you have your wishes and resolutions ready?” the MC on stage announced. “We’re going to have one last performance before we start the countdown. For this one, everyone get your phones out and let’s light up the night together!”

From the large screen at the front, he could see the crowd of people with their phone flashlights on, waving them slowly with the beat of the soft ballad playing in the background. It was beautiful, like what he imagined fireflies to look like, and the glow that was created together gave a sense of unity.  

Jungkook snuck a peek at Jimin sideways, finding him focusing in awe at all the lights, mouth slightly agape and eyes unblinking. He looked peaceful, and almost ethereal with the dots of light casted across his face. Maybe he was staring for too long—since the more you stare at things, the more different they tend to look—but for a second, Jimin’s features just seemed to glow. The slope of his nose, his sharp chin, the slight puff of his eyelids…when had they become so unfamiliar? He almost looked like a completely different person from when they first met when they were just kids, and trying to figure out what had changed made Jungkook’s heart pound faster.

“Make a wish,” Jimin whispered right when the clock struck, indicating that midnight had arrived. Then there were fireworks blasting loudly, multitudes of colour exploding into the sky, lighting up the night until their dying streaks dissolved into nothingness.

That’s what it would’ve looked like, but Jungkook hadn’t been paying attention to any of that. He didn’t care about missing it, because for him, all of his senses were focused on one thing.

For him, there was only the person in front of him existing in the world at this moment. There was only Jimin’s soft mouth meeting his, the coldness of the air between them seemingly melting as it changed into the warmness of their breath. There was the way Jimin wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s neck, making him feel just as close as without the fluffiness of their jackets. And there were Jimin’s lips, just slightly chapped but meshing against his so delicately all the same, as if every small movement was deliberate, sweetly and tenderly. It made his head spin, as if he was falling again back on that skating rink. Like he was falling into Jimin’s arms again, and Jungkook knew that he’d be there to catch him.

It was Jimin who broke the kiss first to come up for air, though they never moved an inch farther than they had to.

“And this is what a New Year’s kiss is like,” Jimin whispered, a small but brilliant smile lighting up his whole face. There was a faint blush across his cheeks, perhaps from being outside in the cold for too long, perhaps from other reasons, and Jungkook wanted nothing more than to kiss him again.

Jungkook lowered his head just slightly and pressed his lips against Jimin’s once more, just as softly. He felt Jimin melt into him, lips parting, and so he slowly deepened the kiss until his senses were filled with nothing but Jimin Jimin Jimin.

They’d walked out of the square, hand in hand with only the blissfulness stretching the silence between them. The holiday lights seemed to become fuzzy dots blending together, casting a soft glow in every direction. It made Jimin’s brown hair look even more beautiful, and Jungkook gently brushed the dancing snowflakes out of it with his fingers.

“What did you wish for?” Jungkook asked. His heart was still racing, and he still felt the dopamine in his system. It was like seeing the world through a different coloured glass, some pretty kind of glass that simultaneously blurred the world yet gave a sense of clarity.

“Hmm,” Jimin looked away, “for you to finally get a girlfriend this year.”

The glass shattered. “W-what?”

“It’s about time you get one.”

“Jimin, really?” Jungkook frowned.

The shorter boy looked back with a smirk on his face. “Chill. They say that if you reveal your wish, it won’t come true.” He paused. “So, I guess that’s kind of unfortunate for you.”

Jungkook stayed silent, trying to avoid glaring at his best friend by looking away. Whatever magical moment they had was now broken, and he couldn’t help but want to go back to where they were.

Jimin ran a thumb over Jungkook’s bottom lip, tilting his jaw down to make him look at him. “Why, what did you wish for?”

That you didn’t have to leave for school tomorrow.

That maybe time could freeze, and we’d be able to stay just like this.

That we would be together forever.

“Nothing.”

Days went by and people were going back to their normal, daily lives. Jungkook was back at school, starting a new term of subjects that he didn’t care too much about, talking to people he didn’t really want to know about.

It felt strangely silent in his life, almost uncomfortably empty. Lonely. Jimin had moved back to his dorm on his university campus, and the messages between them quickly grew sparse. Although it wouldn’t be long before they saw each other again for the Lunar New Year, Jungkook felt like something was off, and decided to call him one day.

Three rings was what it took before Jimin finally picked up the phone. Jungkook sighed in relief when he did, wanting to dive straight into the endless conversations they used to have not long ago.

“Hey,” he said quietly, though unable to stop the slight lilt of excitement in his voice.

“Hey.” Jimin replied, sounding distant like he wasn’t quite there. It didn’t quite feel right. Jungkook could feel his pulse speed up even more, and it wasn’t from hearing Jimin’s voice this time, but the twist in his gut that he got.

“How’s school going?” he asked quickly, wanting to shove this feeling of uncertainty down the drain. “I noticed you hadn’t replied to my messages so you must be drowning in work.”

“Mhm,” Jimin hummed. “It’s okay I guess.”

Jungkook picked up right where he left off, not allowing the time for the silences of doubt to start creeping in between the cracks. “Did you join any new clubs? Our anime club over here just picked up again and we’re having this event in celebration of that new skating anime—”

“Jungkook.” The voice at the other end sounded heavy and Jungkook finally stopped his ramble.

“Jimin?”

“Listen, I’m really busy at the moment with all this work.” There was something about Jimin’s voice that made Jungkook’s stomach drop.

“O-oh.” Though it didn’t sound like the truth to him, Jungkook couldn’t do anything but agree. His palms were becoming clammy and his heart felt heavy. Swallowing his worry, he tried to put on a more casual tone, still trying to pretend as if everything was the same. “Is everything okay?”

Jimin was silent for a while, before finally sighing. ��Jungkook… I think it’d be best if we gave each other some space.” He then paused, seemingly holding a breath. And Jungkook wanted him to stop there, to somehow freeze time and stop what was probably inevitable now, from happening. “I-I told myself that New Year’s Eve was going to be the last time…Jungkook, it’s a new year; it’s a new chance to make a change, to show the world a new you.”

Jungkook pulled out from his thoughts when a single droplet of salt hit his tongue, and that’s when he realized there were tears blurring his vision and slipping down his face already.

“…and maybe it’ll be the year you finally get a girlfriend.”

He didn’t even hear the rest, if Jimin had said anything else at all, before he was throwing his phone across the room. There was probably a thud or a crash when it landed, but he couldn’t hear it over the sound of his own uncontrollable sobbing. He didn’t even remember another time when he’d cried this much, but his tear ducts must’ve had a mind of their own because they just wouldn’t stop.

And it hurt.

It hurt so much.

He thought back to the New Year’s kiss that night, under the fireworks. Was that what it was—a goodbye kiss? One so sweet and tender, filled with just a glimmer of all of the unsaid words and hidden feelings that had always lingered just beneath the surface. Was that why it was so different—because he knew it would be the last?

If anyone would’ve asked him just a few weeks ago, if it was possible to feel so much, he would’ve told them to stop bullshitting because it’s definitely not possible.

No, it wasn’t possible until this mess happened. It’s like everything he’d experienced within the past few weeks was all leading up to this moment, to the moment where it’d all be suddenly ripped away from him.

If he’d imagined all of the reasons stated in Jimin’s voice before, now it was a brutal awakening in his own voice:

And this is what a breakup feels like.

That was it. The final reason why he should get a girlfriend—because now, he didn’t even have Jimin.

When his parents had asked to meet his girlfriend, in a spur of sadness, Jungkook had told them everything. How he had lied about having a girlfriend, how he only did it because he hadn’t wanted to meet this Soljin person. He hadn’t mentioned anything about his plan with Jimin, because what was the point of that plan anyway? It had failed miserably and caused their friendship to fall apart just like that. The things he felt while “dating” Jimin had been wonderful, but to lose him entirely because of it…

He told his parents that he was agreeing to the blind date with Soljin. Jungkook had told himself that he should at least try this out, that it would be good for him. But deep inside he knew it was just a buffer to temporarily save him from the thoughts constantly eating away at him.

Anything to feel slightly less lonely, right?

It was at a casual cafe where they were supposed to meet, a small and cozy place that had the smell of espresso clinging to the air. The abstract art on the wall almost reminded him of the coffee shop on campus that he used to go to with Jimin…

“Hey, Soljin,” Jungkook greeted quietly, when he spotted her, forcing a tiny smile on his face so that he doesn’t seem rude when all he wanted to do was to run and hide from the world.

Remember, I’m supposed to want this. He already showed me enough reasons why I should want this.

“Hi, Jungkook,” Soljin sat down in the seat across from him, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

They got to sip their drinks in silence, neither one of them looking straight at the other.

“So um—”

“I have—”

Jungkook stopped, gesturing for her to go first.

“So I know that our parents actually set us up to meet here today,” she spun her cup in small circles hesitantly, “but I actually already have… someone I love.” Her last words were quiet and if there had been the slightest of noise in the room, he might not have heard.

“O-oh.” Jungkook didn’t know if he should be relieved that he didn’t have to bother with this whole blind date thing, or if he should be disappointed that he will, once again, be unsuccessful in the field of dating.

Soljin grimaced, taking another sip of her drink. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this, but I thought it would be best if we could be straight up with each other.”

“Wait, then do your parents know about…” Jungkook gestured vaguely, unable to find the words to describe what kind of weird situation they were in at the moment.

Her shoulders slightly slouched at his words, and she let out a small sigh. “Well, I broke up with him a while ago, and when my parents found out, they wanted to help me move on.” She chuckled bitterly. “I guess you could say it hasn’t been working out very well.”

“Because you still love him?”

“Yeah. I’m regretting the decision every day.”

Jungkook frowned. “Then why did you do it?”

“He was moving out of the country for an internship, and I knew that the long-distance thing doesn’t usually work out well.” She pursed her lips in thought. “I thought it was for the best.”

“Maybe sometimes it’s more important to follow your heart than your mind.” Jungkook said thoughtfully.

She sighed. “I know that now. At the time I was just thinking about how terrible it’d be without him beside me. There’d be no one to tease and argue with, no one to talk about your deepest thoughts and worries with, no one to do everything with and to enjoy life with.” She gazed out the window. “And I wasn’t sure I was ready to face the world alone. But here I am, after all.”

Jungkook’s mind trailed off, picturing all of the things as she spoke. It was like the time when Jimin had asked him why he didn’t need a girlfriend, and he had replied saying that he only needed his best friend. Because they were practically the same thing anyway.

Because he couldn’t imagine doing any of those things with someone who wasn’t Jimin. And that’s when he realized.

Jimin didn’t give him a list of reasons he should get a girlfriend at all.

Jimin gave him a list of reasons why he was already in love with him. A list of reasons why he doesn’t need anyone else but Jimin, of why Jimin was the only person he wanted to be with.

“Jungkook, you have that look on your face.” Soljin commented, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“I-I- sorry.”

“No, don’t be. You seemed to be thinking about something really hard. It must’ve been important.”

“I—yeah. There’s this guy,” he paused, thinking carefully about what to say next, “and we were really close. As in, best friends. But then somewhere along the way, it seemed like maybe we had something there wasn’t a label for anymore. And it was great. But then…” he stopped, gesturing at nothing once again.

“Sometimes I think people are almost like charges. They may attract each other, but then when they get too close, sometimes they’ll end up repelling each other.”

“That sounds depressing.” Jungkook sighed, starting to slowly move his cup around in circles too.

“But the thing is, when the charges repel, they’ll always get far enough to be attracted to each other again.”

“What are you saying?” He tried to read her expression.

“That there might be a second chance.”

A second chance. The words echoed through his mind and with it, the imagery of Jimin’s smile, his fluffy hair, his melodic giggle. There was his gentle touch, how he would always put Jungkook first, and the way he would bend over when laughing hard at something stupid Jungkook said.

“Thanks, Soljin… I think I know what you’re talking about now,” he said awkwardly, suddenly stopping the swirling of his cup. It felt like a conclusion, since clearly their blind “date” wasn’t going to work out the way it was expected to go. He stood up. “You know, you were wrong about one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“You said you weren’t ready to be alone in the world. But I think you are. Because you got here by choice.”

Soljin nodded, gave him a sad smile in return. “But you’re not here by choice. Go get him back before it’s too late.”

Jungkook knew where to find him. In a few hours, he’d successfully made the trek over to Jimin’s university, and was standing outside of his dorm room.

He’d come too far just to back out of it now. He’d have to get him back. He needed his best friend. No, not just any best friend. Jimin was someone far too significant to him to be just a best friend now. And it took him this long to realize it.

Tentatively, he knocked on the door. The sound of his knuckles against the thick wood seemed to echo through the hall in the dense silence surrounding him.

No answer.

“Jimin?” He knocked again, a little harder this time. “Jimin, it’s me, open up…please.” The sentence ended in a whisper as if his voice was stuck in his throat.

Still, there was no answer.

Jungkook sighed, slumping against the door. If Jimin wasn’t home, he would wait until he was. If he wasn’t answering the door, then Jungkook would wait until he had to leave the house for class or something.

He’d wait for him.

This was waiting for the one.

He’s not sure how much time had passed, when the door finally swung open, and startled him out of his mind. He’s not sure if he’d been sleeping or simply awake, lost in the realms of his own thoughts. Perhaps he’d been drifting somewhere in between.

“Jungkook?” a shaky voice cut through the silence. “W-what are you doing here?”

Jungkook watched as the familiar figure stood by the door, eyes still blinking away the sleep that had been there. There was something else about those eyes, though, that he almost didn’t recognize Jimin. They were a bit puffy and the redness around the rims was clear, and there was some sort of cloudiness that wasn’t as simple as sleepiness.

Jimin looked sad.

“I-I had to talk to you.” Jungkook stood up. A little too quickly, for he was stumbling straight into the shorter boy.

“Wh—” Jimin caught him, but Jungkook proceeded to pull him into a tight hug.

“Jimin, you can’t do this to me.” He tightened his grip even more around the other’s waist, as if trying to pull them infinitely closer. As if a gesture like that might make everything right again and that even the universe would consider them as one. “I’ve missed you so much. Don’t leave me.”

“Jungkook.” As he pulled back, there was a slight softening in his eyes, revealing the Jimin that Jungkook knew best. There was the fondness in the depths again, but it was different in that he had never seen Jimin so vulnerable.

Maybe he had never quite noticed the walls that Jimin had put up all this time. How despite being his best friend, how much did he truly even know about him? How so much of their friendship as of late had been about helping Jungkook find himself that he hadn’t even noticed what Jimin had been feeling, had been hiding. But now it seemed like they were all crashing down.

And he wished that he’d seen all the signs earlier, because it was only now that he was completely sure. Sure that he wasn’t the only one who wanted this.

“Jungkook.” A sad smile. “I-I…” He trailed off, eyes flickering away from the taller boy’s face. “I can’t do this.”

“I know, Jimin. You’ve already given you enough reasons.”

A flash of pain through those soulful eyes.

“But those reasons did nothing except for showing me that I’m in love with you, okay?” Jungkook grabbed Jimin’s hand, holding onto it and lacing their fingers together. “Remember this? You promised to never let go.”

“And this,” he brushed his other thumb lightly over Jimin’s bottom lip, “this was just ours. And this.” He leaned in slowly and gently pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips.

“Jimin, you’ve given me all the reasons to why I don’t need a girlfriend. Even from the beginning, that’s what I said, but it took me until now to realize it. It’s not just a best friend that I need. I just need you. Just you, damn it, it’s always been you.”

“You’re so cheesy, Jeon,” he muttered, glancing up at Jungkook through his lashes, a pale pink ghosting his cheeks.

“But you love it?” He felt his heart skip a beat, a glimmer of hope slowly coming back.

Jimin smiled softly. “Yeah…I do.”

And that was all they needed for the distance between them to diminish once again, as if it was never there at all.

“Hey Mom, Dad,” Jungkook started quietly. “We have some news to break to you guys, actually.”

“Oh, how are things between you two? Is everything going well?” Jungkook’s mother gave a nod of acknowledgement as she continued stirring the soup.

“Actually, that’s not what we wanted to talk about…” He paused. “Well—”

Soljin cut him off. “We wanted to tell you guys that we actually haven’t been dating each other, because both of us are already in love with other people.” When Jungkook met her eyes, she gave him a reassuring smile. Confident and brilliant.

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook’s father peeped into the living room.

“When we met for the first time, we both knew that it wasn’t going to work between us. Because we both already had people that we love.” Soljin answered.

“But you said that you didn’t really have a girlfriend, Jungkook?”

“I wanted to tell you guys. I’m,” he took a deep breath, “actually dating Jimin.”

There seemed to be a silence in the room and he didn’t even know he was holding his breath, awaiting the dreaded reactions of his parents.

“Jimin? As in that sweet boy you’ve known all these years? Your best friend, Jimin?” His mother turned off the stove and walked over to the living room, where everyone else was.

“Y-yeah. Park Jimin.” Jungkook pulled Jimin over from where he’d been standing by the doorway. He flashed a smile and gave a small wave at Jungkook’s parents.

“Oh honey, you shouldn’t be afraid of telling us. We told you that we will support you no matter what, as long as you’re happy! You weren’t really thinking that we’d want you and Soljin to get married or something, right?” His mother paused, still smiling. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I mean, if you wanted to.”

Soljin laughed. “That’s okay, I’m good.”

“Besides, Jimin is a really nice kid. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from him.” His father grinned, reaching over to pat Jungkook on the back.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Sure, he’s so nice,” he muttered under his breath.

“Yah, what are you talking about?” Jimin elbowed him lightly, shooting him a dull look that contradicted the slight smirk playing at his lips.

Dinner went by smoothly, with conversation easy and relaxed between everyone. Jungkook’s parents were happy for him, Soljin and Hoseok were back together and content with their lives. Jimin and Jungkook were in their normal bickering state. It was almost difficult to imagine being anything else, for this just felt so natural, as if this was the only way they could be.

Fingers intertwined and knees brushing, he knew that Jimin gave him enough reasons.

Reasons to love him.

[bharatiyamedia-blog]

To 120Hz and past: The professionals and cons of how 4K TVs cut back movement blur

http://tinyurl.com/yym2yy4a Your TV seems to be delicate and it is your mind’s fault. Hopefully, you have not seen. However if you happen to learn this, you in all probability will. Sorry about that.  The problem is one thing known as “movement blur,” and TV producers have been developing with methods to fight it for years. Sadly, these strategies typically have unwanted side effects that, for many individuals, are worse than the treatment. Take Tom Cruise. Together with many film followers, he hates the Soap Opera Effect, which might make movies look buttery-smooth in movement, sort of like cleaning soap operas. TV makers created this impact to fight movement blur and infrequently affiliate it with 120Hz refresh rates.  Excessive refresh charges and movement smoothing are only the start. Quite a few different antiblurring applied sciences, together with LED backlight scanning and black frame insertion, could be discovered on right now’s TVs. Studying the professionals and cons of every ought to enable you get a TV picture you are happier with. Or a minimum of, happier than earlier than I ruined TVs for you. Now taking part in: Watch this: 4 nice 4K TVs for each funds 2:18 What’s movement blur? Movement blur is when something on-screen blurs, changing into fuzzy and fewer distinct, when it strikes. This generally is a single object, like a ball or automobile, or your entire display screen, as when the digital camera pans throughout a panorama.  I at all times discover it when there is a closeup of a face, after which the individual turns away. One second you are seeing each eyelash and wrinkle, the subsequent it is a blurry mess.  A few of this may be attributed to the decrease frame rate of flicks and most TV exhibits, which may end up in a blur attributable to the digital camera. There’s nothing you are able to do about that. There’s additionally blur attributable to the TV itself, which, to an extent, you — truly, your TV — can do one thing about. A nonetheless picture edited to imitate movement blur. Word how the decrease 1.5 dolphins are softer than the others.  Geoffrey Morrison/CNET Within the early days of flat TVs and shows, the wrongdoer was typically the sluggish pace of the liquid crystal components that create a picture on LCD TV. Nowadays most LCDs are in a position to change their states quick sufficient that movement blur is attributable to one thing else: “sample and hold.” LCDs — and fashionable OLED TVs — configure their pixels to point out a picture after which maintain that picture till the display screen refresh. With most TVs because of this for a full one-sixtieth of a second, the picture is stationary on display screen. Then the display screen refreshes and a brand new picture is held there for an additional one-sixtieth of a second. Some TVs have quicker refresh charges, and in some international locations TV refresh each one-fiftieth of a second, however the course of is identical. Your mind on LCD TV movement Sixty nonetheless photos each second is quick sufficient to exceed your mind’s flicker fusion threshold. You do not see nonetheless photos, you see fluid movement. Nonetheless, your mind is working quick sufficient that it is anticipating to see movement throughout these maintain occasions. The pictures are held lengthy sufficient that your mind assumes something in movement goes to proceed being in movement… but it surely is not. It is truly stationary after which jumps to the subsequent place, which can be stationary.  Your mind and eyes, anticipating {smooth} movement, blur the article by transferring to comply with the place it needs to be. The physiological reasons behind this are past the scope of this text, however the important thing side is movement blur is in your head (is not every thing?), which is necessary relating to discussing how we do away with it. Samsung’s title for its movement interpolation tech. David Katzmaier/CNET TV producers have identified concerning the movement blur subject for years. It is the principle motive for greater refresh charges. Trendy 4K TVs max out at 120Hz, however within the 1080p days, there have been fashions as much as 240Hz (or 100 and 200Hz, relying what nation you reside in). Increased refresh charges do not, in and of themselves, repair the movement blur downside. The pictures are nonetheless being held, and if you happen to simply double the variety of nonetheless photos to suit 60 into 120 you have not actually modified something. You want one thing to alter to, and that is when issues get fascinating. Movement interpolation The processing in fashionable TVs can decide, with a stunning quantity of accuracy, what occurs in between two frames of video. For example, if a ball is on the left aspect of the display screen in body A, and the precise aspect of the display screen in body B, the TV might safely assume that if there was a body between A and B, the ball can be within the heart of the display screen.  A 120Hz TV determines what this “AB” body would seem like, then inserts it between frames A and B. This implies there are extra frames to modify between, and fewer time “held” on every body. That is known as body or movement interpolation. With video content material like sports activities, a brand new body is inserted between each unique body, and the result’s much less movement blur and better obvious element. With motion pictures and scripted TV exhibits, nevertheless, there’s an issue. Practically each film and nonreality TV present is recorded at a body price of 24 frames per second. This goes again to when almost every thing was shot on movie. Although the early days had a wide range of body charges, Hollywood settled on 24, and it has been that means for many years.  Nowadays only a few motion pictures or exhibits are “filmed,” however the digital cameras are set to report at 24 frames per second. That is perceived by the overwhelming majority of individuals as “fiction.” Consciously or not, individuals equate greater body charges with both low-budget or actuality recordings. Information, actuality TV, sports activities and so forth all use greater body charges, often 30 or 60fps. Some TVs, like this Vizio, allow you to individually fine-tune how a lot judder you wish to cut back, serving to to {smooth} out motion within the picture and movement blur. David Katzmaier/CNET Interpolating frames will increase the obvious body price, so 24fps content material now not seems to be like 24fps content material, as a result of when proven on these TVs, it is not 24fps content material. The interpolation successfully will increase the frame ($1,350 at Amazon) price so 24fps content material seems to be extra like 30 or 60fps. Extra like sports activities, actuality TV or the content material that offers this impact its title: the Cleaning soap Opera Impact. That is the place our good friend Tom is available in. Many individuals do not discover, or do not care, concerning the Cleaning soap Opera Impact. Others, like Tom and myself, cannot stand it. The ultrasmooth movement is not only artificial-looking, however could be distracting and ugly. Most Hollywood creators hate it, too, as a result of it is not what the director meant for his or her inventive imaginative and prescient. In the event that they needed to report at 48fps, they’d have recorded at 48fps, like Peter Jackson did with The Hobbit. Fortuitously, most TVs not solely provide the choice to show it off, however allow you to modify how intense the body interpolation is. So as a substitute of a created body that is midway between A and B, possibly it is solely barely totally different from A or barely totally different than B. In case your TV has this adjustment, it is price taking part in with to see if you’ll find a setting that reduces movement blur sufficient that you just’re not bothered by it, however is not as intrusive because the extra intense body interpolation modes are. Some even separate out the processing to scale back the judder attributable to putting 24fps content on a 60fps display. Black body insertion Fortuitously for individuals who hate the Cleaning soap Opera Impact, there’s one other technique to scale back movement blur. The final time period is black body insertion, however this broadly covers quite a lot of alternative ways to provide an analogous impact. At its most simple, and the place the method will get its title, what occurs is, a black body is inserted between the true frames.  A simplified illustration of black body insertion. The unique video would have 60 photos per second of the fish. The TV would “insert” 60 black photos in between the true photos. How lengthy this black picture is proven, or whether or not it is utterly black, varies. Geoffrey Morrison/CNET This, too, has its historical past in cinema. Although filmed at 24 frames per second, motion pictures weren’t proven at 24 frames per second. This was sluggish sufficient that some individuals noticed the sparkle. As an alternative, every movie body was proven twice, with a shutter blocking the light in between. Some cinemas went even additional, exhibiting every movie body thrice. This blanking was a easy approach to give a number of the “efficiency” of a better body price with out the price of extra movie inventory. With black body insertion, there’s much less “maintain” within the sample-and-hold. It fools your mind higher into pondering there’s {smooth} movement. Sadly, as soon as once more there’s a few downsides. When the TV spends half of its time exhibiting a black display screen, its gentle output drops. In lots of instances this commerce off is appropriate, as fashionable TVs are exceptionally vibrant. In different instances, not as a lot. I’ve a entrance projector, for instance, and the BFI mode could make the picture look very dim.  There’s additionally the potential for seen flicker, because the TV basically flashes on and off with the inserted black frames. CNET’s TV opinions typically discover that the sparkle from BFI is simply too intense to be definitely worth the enchancment in movement blur. Like body interpolation, black body insertion has totally different implementations. Not often would a TV with a BFI mode present a black body for a similar size of time it exhibits an actual body. It is also not essentially a “body” in any respect. All LCDs create gentle with a backlight. This backlight can even flip off for under a portion of the time the body is on display screen, which is among the methods corporations can claim their 60Hz TVs have a “motion rate” higher than 60. One other technique is a rolling or scanning backlight, the place elements of the picture go darkish in sequence. The backlight may darken first within the prime quarter of the display screen, then middle-top, middle-bottom and backside quarter. Rinse and repeat. An illustration of what a rolling backlight would seem like. You see the picture on the left. Quicker than you may see, sections of the backlight flip off, in sequence, down the display screen. It will do that for each body of video. Geoffrey Morrison/CNET There are additionally ranges of how “black” the black body is. A 120Hz TV might insert a body that is a replica of the earlier body, however darker. Not “black,” simply dimmer. There are execs and cons to this technique, too. Not as a lot gentle misplaced, however maybe the movement would not appear fairly as sharp. As with body interpolation, in case your TV has totally different settings, it is undoubtedly price studying up on what they do and testing them out. We talk about BFI extra in Black frame insertion: Busting blur from Oculus to LCD TVs. The DLP projector choice The one two flat-panel TV applied sciences obtainable right now, LCD and OLED, each undergo from movement blur. Nonetheless, there may be nonetheless one show know-how that does not: DLP.  At the moment solely present in entrance projectors, Digital Light Processing makes use of hundreds of thousands of tiny mirrors that quickly flash on and off to construct a picture on a display screen. Some movie theater projectors use this technology. At house they don’t seem to be that costly. You will want a display screen, too, however they don’t seem to be that costly both. Getting a 100-inch “TV” for beneath $1,00zero is straightforward. Many fashions are even cheaper. Nonetheless, there are a number of trade-offs. Whereas fashionable projectors are very vibrant in comparison with older fashions, they do not maintain a foot-candle to the common tv. In a room with darkish curtains, or if you happen to watch TV principally at evening, this is not a problem. I’ve used a projector as my major TV for over 15 years. I exploit blackout curtains in that room, nevertheless. Many cheap projectors use DLP know-how, which does not undergo from movement blur. BenQ The opposite side is the general image high quality. The higher DLP projectors’ footage look good and are exceptionally sharp, particularly with movement in comparison with different show applied sciences. They do not have the colour depth or distinction ratios of different applied sciences, nevertheless. So the picture will not “pop” prefer it does on, say, an OLED TV. HDR is basically in name only. It may possibly learn the HDR information, however as a result of they don’t seem to be vibrant and the contrast ratio is poor, it is not going to look a lot totally different than non-HDR content material. If you detest movement blur, although, that is simply the best choice. I’m a projector proselytizer, but it surely’s undoubtedly of a life-style alternative. You’d actually, actually should hate movement blur for this to be the rationale you turn. Know your TV’s movement controls Many new TVs, particularly midrange and high-end fashions, have some adjustability in how they deal with movement blur. Hopefully, if movement blur bothers you, you’ll find a setting that works for you with out annoying the remainder of the household. I’ve lengthy loathed movement blur, being much more conscious and irritated by it than my friends. Since I additionally hate the Cleaning soap Opera Impact, the one present choice for decreasing movement blur on my present projector is black body insertion. And after just a few months… I turned off. The trade-off of a dimmer image, and a just-noticeable flicker, was now not definitely worth the higher obvious element. I am not telling you to simply hand over, fellow blur haters. Should you’ve had your TV for some time and simply cannot get previous the movement blur, undoubtedly strive the varied settings talked about above. Should you’ve gotten a brand new TV, maybe upgrading from an outdated plasma or DLP rear-projection TV, see if any of the settings provide you with aid. If not, give it a little bit of time and see if you happen to get used to it. Hopefully you’ll. Acquired a query for Geoff? First, try all the other articles he’s written on matters like why you shouldn’t buy expensive HDMI cables, TV resolutions explained, how HDR works, and extra. Nonetheless have a query? Tweet at him @TechWriterGeoff, then try his travel photography on Instagram. He additionally thinks you must try his best-selling sci-fi novel and its sequel.  Source link

[ouraidengray4]

WTH Is Ashwagandha, and Why Have I Been Taking It for a Month?

The first time I heard about ashwagandha was when Gwyneth Paltrow’s daily smoothie broke the internet. Spending close to $200 on ingredients made me cringe, but the thought of getting Gwyneth’s glow piqued my interest, as did the notion that this magical smoothie could help me get her toned physique too. (It didn’t.)

I skimmed the list of ingredients and nearly went cross-eyed. Coconut oil and almond butter I knew, but the dusts and exotic tinctures I did not—and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. As someone who loves drinking the wellness Kool-Aid—golden milks, probiotic tonics, collagen boosters, butter coffees, you name it—I was surprised to find myself skeptical and unenthused. Perhaps it was the media backlash from the recipe release (haters gonna hate), or perhaps it was that I was sick of investing in cure-all ingredients that did seemingly nothing aside from eat my savings account and momentarily boost my sense of self-worth.

Within minutes, I’d given up on the Goop life and forgotten all about ashwagandha. But then it started haunting me.

First it came up at a dinner with health-minded friends, then at a yoga workshop, then in my Instagram feed, and then I got this text: “Do you like ashwagandha? It’s so disgusting, but I’m obsessed with it.” Upon reading it, my face wrinkled up in equal parts concern and alarm—and, to be honest, a bit of disgust too. What the heck was it about this ashwa-what?

WTH Is Ashwagandha?

Someone wise once said, “Don’t knock it till you try it.” So I decided to give ashwagandha a chance and do some digging (a.k.a. research). Here’s the need-to-know:

Ashwaghanda is an herb believed to offer rejuvenating properties that promote physical and emotional well-being and longevity (maybe why it’s commonly referred to as “Indian ginseng”).

It means "horse smell"—literally. It’s a combination of the Sanskrit words ashva (meaning "horse") and gandha (meaning "smell"). So yes, it’s named for its horse-like smell (yummy) but also for the strength of the herb, which is akin to a stallion.

Don’t worry: Despite the name, you don’t have to swallow horse-size pills. Instead, it’s often taken in powder form, which looks like cinnamon. If only it tasted like cinnamon...

It’s an adaptogen. A what? If you had to guess, you’d probably assume the word is related to adapt. Bingo. An adaptogen is believed to help the body adapt to stress and to exert a normalizing effect on bodily processes. To put it simply: If something feels out of whack, adaptogens might help. Evidence-based efficacy of adaptogens in fatigue, and molecular mechanisms related to their stress-protective activity. Panossian A, Wikman G. Current clinical pharmacology, 2009, Sep.;4(3):2212-3938.

While, yes, it is super trendy, it’s hardly new. The herb has been used for thousands of years to treat stress, increase energy, and improve focus. Steroidal lactones from Withania somnifera, an ancient plant for novel medicine. Mirjalili MH, Moyano E, Bonfill M. Molecules (Basel, Switzerland), 2009, Jul.;14(7):1420-3049.

Why Do People Take It?

When I asked my friend why she loved ashwagandha, she didn’t respond. A few hours later she sent me a link that claims it’s “an excellent tonic for immune health, sexual vitality, and harmonized mood.” When I asked if it worked, she said yes. When I asked how long she’d been taking it, she said she’d only tried it once. Hrmph. Unsatisfied, I took my search elsewhere. I asked everyone who seemed remotely interested in health and even strangers I met at smoothie shops. The response from most was the same: They didn’t really know! But they heard it was awesome. I wish I was surprised, but more often than not, health trends explode with the majority of consumers knowing little to nothing about what they’re imbibing—except that it’s “awesome.” And I’m no different. My cupboard contains several untouched superfoods and supertonics. I can tell you what I think they’re good for, but the honest truth is I don’t really know and can’t remember why I bought them in the first place. Fortunately, I have a trusted advisor who's always there to help when I’m in need: the internet. A quick search for “the benefits of ashwagandha” will lead you into a treasure trove of supposed benefits. It boosts immunity, improves stamina, promotes mental clarity, prevents aging, treats fertility, lowers cholesterol… the list goes on and on and on some more. I’m honestly surprised that when you Google “miracle pill” and “secret to world peace," ashwagandha isn’t the first result. Because according to said internet, it can even treat cancer. But wait one second before throwing horse powder into your daily routine. Because as much as I love me some internet, health fads are often just that: fads. Let’s talk science.

The Benefits, According to Science

Unlike many trendy herbs and tinctures, ashwagandha (known as Withania somnifera in the science world) seems to actually live up to the hype. Here are some of its purported powers:

Let it go, let it go: It may help the body cope with stress, boost immunity, and improve focus and mental clarity.

Bye bye bye: Studies show ashwaghanda may help reduce the signs of aging.

He's going the distance: When scientists tested the swimming performance of adult rats, the rats who were given ashwagandha swam twice as long as those who weren’t, proving the herb may help increase stamina.

Ooo baby baby: Ashwagandha is used to treat fertility problems in men and to increase sexual desire in women—and may help balance hormones overall.

Beat it: It may help treat adrenal fatigue and fight diseases such as Parkinson's, Alzheimer’s, Huntington's, arthritis, diabetes, and hypertension.

Hit me with your best shot: Some even use it topically to heal wounds, backaches, and paralysis, while others claim it can reduce depression and brain cell degeneration, stabilize blood sugar, decrease inflammation, lower cholesterol, and help prevent and treat cancer.

The Takeaway

I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. And I’m definitely not going to tell you to start guzzling horse tonics and trust in a single herb. But I am saying I was wrong: Ashwagandha is pretty darn awesome—and might just live up to its reputation. Since taking it, I’ve been sleeping like a champ (even with a hyperactive puppy in the bed), my menstrual cramps have subsided (glory hallelujah), and I’ve reconnected with the laid-back California vibe I came to New York with (so long, stress case). That said, it also lives up to its flavor reputation—and a rather unpleasant one at that. To make it a bit tastier, try adding a teaspoon to morning matchas, coffees, or smoothies or nighttime golden milks and teas. If you’re feeling extra bold and are already on the apple cider vinegar train, try mixing a few droplets of liquid ashwagandha with two tablespoons of ACV and 8 ounces of water. Chug; don’t sip. It may not go down smoothly at first, but if it’s really a medicinal miracle like some of these studies claim, then it may be worth adapting to its funky flavor.

from Greatist RSS http://ift.tt/2uJRpK3 WTH Is Ashwagandha, and Why Have I Been Taking It for a Month? Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ http://ift.tt/2wgsf5w

[solotheloso]

A BOON BARELY GIVEN - CH. 2

I strolled over the city sidewalk, passing beneath the towering pillars of streetlights and electric poles and past a hodgepodge of shop windows and apartment rows. The neon of store signage and the orange haze of the arc-sodium bulbs overhead blended into that odd, indistinct ambient glow that you can only find in busy cities and places like arcades. The city wasn’t so busy now, though; where normally there were the loud and churning masses of folk going about their lives-- heading from jobs and into bars or vice versa, at this time of the night-- there was nothing but the occasional lone pedestrian, head down and walking as quickly as the length of their legs would allow. I figured it was the feeling of the city that was doing it.

Even folk without magic in their blood can feel it when mana gets all riled up and out of sorts. It typically manifests as being prone towards recklessness or aggression, like on the nights of the full moon. This time things were a bit less ‘natural cycle’ and a bit more ‘this ain’t right’, so I guess it stood to reason that behavior would change accordingly. Even so, the city felt practically deserted and it creeped me out, logical or not. I feel safer in crowds, more for the anonymity of it than any perceived safety in numbers. Like this, I stood out. I took a breath and set my mind on walking. And the problem at hand.

I wasn’t lying when I told the sentinel that I could find the person that trashed the shrine. Well, not entirely. My talents don’t lie in finding things so much as happening across them. I would have chalked it up to luck years ago if it weren’t for the consistency of the thing. More than once I’d found myself wandering into an event or bit of information that led me down some kind of significant path. The problem-- one that had plagued me for most of my adult life-- was figuring out whether that path ended in satisfaction and a goal accomplished… or some kind of awful punishment. My auntie had told me once that I was someone who was destined for interesting things. That’s the word she used: interesting. Not great, or terrible, just interesting. Considering she had been one of the best sooth-sayers in the western hemisphere before her untimely death, I was inclined to believe her. So instead of dismissing every unusual event that happened to me as pure coincidence, I hedged my bets and tried to wrangle causality to my advantage. The best way I knew how to do that was to head problems off at the pass, get a drop on things. In that vein, I laid out the facts in my head and tried to make sense of it.

From what I knew of these matters, most large cities across world contained several shrines to the master of the sentinels, the Blessed Black. From what little mages have been able to get out of sentinels-- usually before a hearty pummeling or outright execution-- these shrines did something to soothe the massive turbulence in the mana field that comes from millions of people living in a close space. See, when you’ve got countless folk in such tight quarters, all dreaming, fighting, fucking and whatnot, things can get a bit… wobbly. I could never find any clarification on what kind of wobbly, but apparently it was bad enough that the Blessed Black-- whoever or whatever that is-- saw fit to maintain these shrines and smooth out the wrinkles, like some sort of janitor for reality.

Anyway, I knew from way back that this city in particular had five shrines, all equidistant like they were laying out a pentagram. I still have no idea whether that’s normal or not, but that’s not important. What was important was that toppling even one of the shrines meant that the whole damn thing was unstable. It just didn’t work quite right. I didn’t know why the sentinels didn’t just build another one, but apparently it wasn’t an option in the time we had left. My best guess was that, in the process of destroying the shrine, the culprit made off with something the sentinels needed to do their thing. They probably wanted the bastard caught for more than just revenge, if you asked me.

Which brings me to what I was doing wandering the streets in the small hours of the morning. As soon as the sentinel had left, I set out on foot from the old lot and towards the old city center. When I was speaking with it I had confirmed the general location of the wrecked shrine. ‘In old town, near the factory district’. That had only been a suspicion and a hell of a gamble at that. I had figured that the way the shrine construct was built, any weak points would reveal themselves as localized mana turbulence. Basically, anywhere there was a gap in protection, things would be less stable.

With that in mind, I had spent the entirety of yesterday simply wandering from place to place around the city in a loose grid, getting a feel for the ambient mana and trying to nail down exactly where it was worst. It was time-consuming but apparently worth it, given that it had convinced the sentinel of my value. My ability to sense and analyze mana was pretty exceptional among the mages I had known; I wasn’t sure that more than one or two of them could have pulled it off, given that for most the quality and stability of a mana field came down to gut feelings and heebie jeebies.

I kept my attention directed to the sensations as the city’s mana washed over me in an endless wave. My feet moved on autopilot. After nearly two hours doing little but pounding the sidewalk, I noticed that my surroundings had changed from ‘metropolitan’ to something closer to ‘dilapidated’. Shops and cafes and trendy high-rises had given way to deteriorated foursquares and corner stores that would have been called bodegas if they weren’t standing in the middle of cracked and weed-littered parking lots. The lack of time and money had given what few residents had stayed little incentive to keep up with property repairs, and the whole area gave off a vibe of unwilling neglect. The endless march of capitalism that had created the towering skyscrapers of glass and metal only a scant few miles away had left these folk behind. With almost no legitimate jobs and hardly anything in the way of services, I’d be surprised if more than one out of every ten had a real hope of getting somewhere better.

The streets were just as deserted in this neighborhood as they were in the city proper, so the only people I saw were the occasional pedestrian and loiterer. Despite my habit of wearing full suits, I was apparently considered inconspicuous enough to avoid incident. Or maybe it was just the night. Several minutes later my surroundings went from residential to industrial at a jarring speed and I found myself truly alone for the first time in a long while. Most of the streetlights didn’t work out here, so I had to rely on my natural night vision and the ever-present glow in the sky that came from being just outside a large city. It wasn’t long before I found myself standing in front of what looked to be an abandoned warehouse. A squat, sprawling structure of rusted metal and concrete, it stood alone, set far apart from its fellows in the center of a large dirt lot bordered by heavy duty chain-link and panel fencing. My instincts were screaming at me that this was the place.

I scaled the fence, my arms hauling me up and over the top with practiced ease. I landed lightly on the other side and scanned the building carefully. From my new unobstructed vantage point I could see a loading bay set into the building’s side, a gaping mouth at the end of a gentle downward slope that revealed the structure’s foundation was submerged at least ten feet below the surface of the lot. Dry, yellow grass and dessicated weeds sprung up at random from the dirt, making the whole place look like it had been caught in a long and vicious drought. I noticed with some trepidation that no plant life-- however withered-- grew within at least fifty feet of the warehouse itself. Either there was some bad mojo on the place or whatever they had stored inside had been particularly vile and leached into the soil. Neither option made me feel good about being here. I moved towards the building.

I barely made it into the dead zone before I started feeling the tingle of active magic. Just like with the sentinel, I resisted the urge to halt and kept moving. Magic was all about pure willpower, and for me the best way to assert my will was to act like I knew damn well what I was doing. I didn’t stop even when the tingling changed to a fierce burning, just gritted my teeth and put one shoe in front of the other. There was the briefest of moments where the power behind the guardian spells swelled up to such a massive crescendo that I was convinced I was about to die a stupid and undignified death, but in the very next instant all the sensations stopped and I passed into blissful normality again.

Cripes, was this the work of the sentinels? If so, I could understand why they were so dangerous. To a mage like me, the spells on this place caused a direct and very physical sensation of pain, but to a normal-- someone without the ability to sense and manipulate mana-- the discomfort inflicted translated almost entirely to mental anguish. Anyone entering the lot might feel uneasy even in broad daylight and decide to avoid the place out of simple prudence. Getting halfway might cause intense paranoia and a feeling of creeping dread. After all that, if they were foolish enough to keep going, I doubt they would be able to resist falling victim to a sudden and massive panic attack before fleeing in terror.

It took me a moment to shake off the effects of the spell. I loosened my tie and surveyed the warehouse again, now that I was up close and free of distraction. I was standing just to the side of the loading bay in front of a metal door, long gone to rust. A similarly worn sign just above displayed the letters ‘EMP--Y--S ONL-’. The door just made a cracking sound and barely budged when I tried it, so I gave it a swift kick right below the knob. With a shower of rust flakes and a tremendous klang, it politely agreed to be opened. The first thing that greeted me when I stepped across the threshold was an intense reek of dust and mold. Well, that and the pitch dark of the place. Out of reflex, I twitched my fingers in a familiar pattern and murmured an incantation. I felt a tingling in my eyes and the unforgiving darkness pulled back a bit, allowing me to discern first outlines and rough shapes, then eventually fine details. The night-sight spell was one I used fairly often, and though it would never match a spotlight in terms of pure visibility, it was far less conspicuous.

The space around me looked to be a break room. Narrow lockers lined one wall, benches a few feet away from them. Some of the locker doors hung halfway open and I could see an ancient, moth-eaten coverall hanging from a hook in one of them. On the opposite wall were pasted the heavily faded remnants of workplace safety posters. I doubt I could have read them even if the light were better. At the end of the room there was a door to a larger space and a kitchenette taking up the rest of the wall and the corner. The decor-- and the fact that everything was coated in countless layers of dust and mildew-- made it feel like the place had been closed prior to the invention of internet.

I passed through the far door and into the warehouse proper. It was an enormous space, much larger than I had expected from seeing the outside; the only indication I had that it wasn’t an endless ocean of darkness was the night sky peeking through dozens of tiny holes pocking the sheet metal ceiling and walls, evidence of decades of exposure and no maintenance. I carefully descended a metal staircase down onto the main floor. There I saw the outlines of an enormous, jagged mass of metal, all straight lines and sharp corners, piled from edge to edge.

It took me a moment to realize that it was all that remained of the metal shelving units that had once housed the cargo that the warehouse was responsible for. From what I could see, they had long rusted together, and I doubted I could budge any of the mound with anything short of a construction vehicle or high explosives. Something about the mess bugged me as unnatural, so I climbed halfway back up the stairs and peered out over the jumble again, this time focusing my mana into my eyes and temporarily boosting the night sight spell. It could be exhausting if I kept it up, but it proved to be worthwhile a moment later when I realized what had been bothering me. From this position I could see that the shelves were stacked with almost painstaking care. Knock out one and the whole shebang could come down on your head. My stomach fell as I noticed the center of the mound. It was piled higher than the rest, and I could see the barest glint of light filtering through the gaps in the shelves. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, feeling out the mana in this space. I rocked back almost immediately, momentarily stunned by the wave of uncanny energy that had washed over me. I’m not normally the type to complain out loud, so all I did was sigh wearily and take off my jacket. The things I do for profit.