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olderjodijournals · 1 month ago

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Tuesday, December 1, 1992

That was really nice of Kim to send that package, but can you believe I still haven’t gotten my parent’s package? What’s taking so long? I guess this is cuz of the holidays. I hope I finally get it tomorrow.

Dennis took me to the doctor and amazingly enough; I wasn’t there all that long. He gave me yet another cream to use for downstairs and refills.

I also asked him about a place around here for ear surgery. I’m going to call Boston information for the address and number of Mass Eye & Ear infirmary as well as Mass General. Then, I’m to call the doctor’s office back and ask for Kelly who handles records. She’s gonna get them from Boston. After that, Dr. Kareus will send me to someone for his opinion and recommendations.

Andy took me to the King’s Table which is an all-you-can-eat buffet. We snuck some chicken out in a bag.

He taped Reasonable Doubts for me as it was on while we were gone. I’m watching TV now. Hunter’s coming on next.

Last night we went to a place called Marie Callender’s. I got some good quiche there and he got London broil. I gave our waitress a red jacket for her kids. It was a nice jacket I got from Mom, but it was a major hassle getting it on and off. In exchange, the waitress gave us each a free slice of pie.

On my way out Andy and I grabbed 3 balloons that were by the door. They’re on the floor now as their helium is gone.

Wednesday, December 2, 1992

I’m still not tired, but I must try soon to fall asleep, as I want to keep a day schedule for a while.

I really hope I get my package tomorrow. I hope I also get letters from Tammy and Lisa too. Maybe even Bob will write.

This will be the first birthday with no misery. No isolation or crack houses around me. No snow. No bitter cold weather. I only had one other b-day in semi-warm weather. That was my 24th b-day in Florida. That was no fun. Yes, this will surely be the first b-day when I’m finally truly happy and content. Of course, I’d still love to be able to quit smoking, make it in the music business and be a butch lover. Now there’s no way in hell or in this life I’ll ever look at a butch and say, “God, she’s gorgeous!”

As for becoming a singer and quitting smoking, well, I don’t know about that either.

Another weird thing about turning 27 is the fact that I wasn’t even supposed to live to see my 17th b-day. Also, I look 17 still, depending on how I’m dressed. It’s amazing to retain my youth and so much energy after all I’ve gone through both physically and mentally.

Andy told me he’s invited Diane, Donna and Velma over for cake and ice cream Fri. night at 7:30. I explained to him (and he does understand) that this is very weird, awkward and a little embarrassing for me. I’m not used to this or being around so many people. At least not for a very long time and 3 people I barely know are a lot for me. I’ll feel sort of “on the spot.” I’m only used to family members around on my b-day or one or two friends that I know quite well. I will tell Andy to tell Diane, Donna and Velma that I may be embarrassed and that I’m not used to this, so they’ll understand and not mistake me for being stuck-up and unappreciative.

Well, he’s gone to bed so I think I’ll leave a message for him. When he wakes up he’s gonna leave me messages.

Once again, I hope I get my package, but at least I got my doctor’s appointment done and over with.

Later...

During commercials, I’ll write.

I finally got my packages today. I got a gorgeous bracelet with clear stones of many different colors. I got a really nice necklace which is sort of hard to describe. It’s like Indian and Western. She sent a gold chain necklace and 2 gold chain bracelets, but the bracelets are too big.

She also sent this little tube-like thing that’s 2 feet long or so. When you tip it from end to end it makes a weird and funny sound. To me, it sounds like someone’s puking. I played it on Andy’s machine and he thought it was Melissa, the CP lady!

I also got 2 more of those little teddy bears with hands that clasp together. Now I have 3 of them clasped onto the stick on my blinds in the kitchen.

I got another tiny little stuffed animal, a cigarette case, a box of pads and tampons, paper towels, toilet paper, laundry detergent, sunscreen, a box of instant potatoes, hot chocolate, a nice and different cosmetic bag, a strap-like thing for the wrist, hot oil treatment, a can of grape jelly, a troll key chain doll, and a little toy piano with 1½ octaves.

Thursday, December 3, 1992

Tara called earlier and said she and Tonya had a birthday card for me. When the phone rang I thought it was Andy and I asked, “Are you eating?” I asked this cuz he always calls and eats on the phone munching in my ear.

Tara was telling me about this funny dream she had and I knew I had to tell Andy about it. He laughed. She told me she dreamt she was getting married to Madonna and was at her house. Madonna was cooking her dinner and she said to Tara, “I want you to meet my parents before we get married.” And Tara just said, “OK, sure, fine.”

She also told me she’s still very very busy with school and work. She told me her boss was gay and somewhat attractive and feminine. She said she doesn’t wear makeup too much but when she does she’s pretty. She has shoulder-length hair. When she finally met her girlfriend she could see just what I meant when I said fems go for butches, butches go for fems and there are plenty of butches with other butches. This girlfriend of hers was pretty damn ugly. She told me she feels the same way I do and doesn’t want a relationship. She just wants occasional sex as she’s got very little free time, needs her space and doesn’t want to go through the bullshit. She’s getting with guys the same thing I’ve gotten from women. The guy says he’ll call and never does, or he’s always there.

I told her I was gonna tell her something I never thought I’d ever be brave enough to say after the Maliheh B case and several others. Well, I told her that if she ever does get curious, she doesn’t have to be shy. I’m here and I’m attracted to her and would never and could never put strings on her. Well, I know she’ll never approach me for sex, but she did say I’d be the first one she’d go to cuz she knows me and she also thinks that butches are ugly.

Later...

I just finished watching a talk show and I just threw in a tape of the edits.

My check comes today. Therefore, I must see if Dennis will take me to the store. I’ve got to get some groceries to hold me over till I get my food stamps. I didn’t get any mail today so I hope tomorrow I get letters from Lisa and Tammy. There are only a few other errands and places I may go to.

Andy’s gonna pick up my prescription and we may go to a swap meet on Sun. I sure as hell hope he doesn’t want to go early cuz there’s no way I’ll be able to get up.

This Saturday afternoon I’ll be picking up my picture at the office.

I still haven’t begun my story and I have not done more editing, but I’m definitely gonna want to write letters to my family. I’m gonna have lots to tell. I’ll also write to Kim, Bob, Nervous and Fran.

I was a little ticked off at Kara earlier. You know how it is with people. I tell them to call me first and they do so for two months, then they knock and wake me up. It turned out OK, though as UPS came not too much later. Kara also came over with Ashley. I can’t stand it when she brings her over. I had us all out on the patio, so she couldn’t trash my place. If Kara holds her down, the damn thing screams. The reason why she brought her was cuz after she visited me, she planned on seeing Brian and Angel. I didn’t know she knew them, and I thought they moved. They were in Idaho for the last 3 months.

Earlier, a little before 7:00, Andy came over to see what I got from Mom and Dad. He also looked at all my journals. The covers, that is. I think number 13 is the ugliest, but he likes it. 6 and 7 are quite boring, too, but I took care of 6. Yes, I fixed it up quite nicely. I took an old barrette with a bow on it. The material and pattern of the bow are pretty. It’s on a velvet black background with stripes of red and blue through it that are sort of glittery. I cut the bow off the barrette. Then, I ironed out the bow flat. I cut the pieces to fit the cover of number 6 which is a small journal, otherwise, I’d never have enough material to cover it. Then, I glued it on. I used a toothpick to spread the glue out on the journal, then just slapped on the material.

Andy’s now trying to sing Desde La Oscuridad. Actually, this is the edited version. Kara heard it and was dying of laughter. I put this on the tape I made for her.

Believe it or not, but luckily for me, I am actually getting sleepy. Sleep is exactly what I hope I can do now. I certainly didn’t get enough hours of sleep last night. Barely 6 hours, so I’ll go try really hard to fall asleep.

Later...

I woke up at 9:00 to take my meds. Also, there was some loud mouth granny and a little girl traipsing by, and I’ll kill them if I ever hear them again that early! Those that get up early have no respect for those who don’t get up early, I swear. I went back to sleep till noon.

Today’s a gorgeous day and there’s a breeze, too. I have my bedroom window and sliding glass door open. My ceiling fan is on, too. It’s nice to be able to air the place out during the day in the winter and at night during the summer. In Springfield I was only able to open the window from late May to early September just to air out the smoke and dust, only to let the pollution in.

Well, my clothes are in the dryer now.

I went over to Andy’s to call for the phone numbers and addresses of Mass General and Mass Eye & Ear Infirmary.

I called the doctor’s office to ask for Kelly, but the office was closed. Why so early, I don’t know.

While I was over at Andy’s, Fran left a message. It figures I would just miss his call. He’ll have to call me back when he wants to.

I got no mail today but my check’s in the bank, so later Dennis and I are going to the store. Shortly after I got up I went to Dennis’s at 12:30. He had some meat and noodles for me that were leftovers they were sick of. It was good.

I told them about the stuff my parents sent and that I have enough paper towels to open a store with. I am going to bring them two rolls cuz Bea uses them like crazy.

Later...

In 10 minutes I’ll be going to get my clothes out of the dryer.

I’m watching this amazing story of an 80-year-old woman who came out of a coma after 30 years.

Later...

I just finished my laundry.

Andy should be slamming in soon and at around 6:30 I’ll be going food shopping with Dennis.

The other day I looked through the paper for what was available in the cat ads. All the ones that were too good to be true were gone. Some were neutered and spayed and even declawed. Had their shots, too. Those kinds of cats are gone the second the ad for them comes out.

Later...

I am now sitting at my kitchen table which is much more comfortable.

I have my lace skirt hanging over one of my chairs. I didn’t want it to shrink. I wore that and my black tights and a tight black camisole with my denim lace jacket I got in Norwich when my pictures were taken. I’m sure curious to see how they came out this Saturday afternoon. I’ll be choosing from about 6 pictures. I hope at least one comes out good since I’m not keeping it and it’s going to Tammy. It’s one thing to keep a so-so or bad picture of yourself. It’s another when you’re gonna give it away to a family member or a friend. Before I mail it to Tammy, I’ll show it to Andy and maybe Tara. When I get the pictures back from Tammy that are going to Kim, I may show them to Tara first.

Tara and Tonya aren’t sure if they’re gonna buy a HUD house or not. They heard they’re usually in pretty bad shape. I can believe that, but I also heard the waiting list for that is years and years. Plus, they’re not a top priority. A family, homeless people, or handicapped people would be considered first. I don’t think the two of them combined are low-income. Maybe average.

Dennis and Bea are the second and third friends I’ve ever had that are not low-income. The first was Kim.

Later...

I’m watching TV now.

Earlier, Dennis, Bea and I went to the grocery store.

My ATM card was canceled cuz it was only a temporary card. Now I must go get a new one.

Fran called and we spoke for about 20 minutes.

I’m doing Andy’s laundry which I’ll get out of the dryer soon.

Friday, December 4, 1992

I got up at 1 PM today and there was no mail. Everything’s late cuz of the holidays.

Dennis and Bea gave me a $5 gift card.

As I was returning to my place a girl was calling out my name. I thought to myself, who is she? Well, she had a big and gorgeous plant with her which I surely wasn’t expecting. Perfect timing, too, as she almost missed me. I figured it was from someone around here, but the card said, Happy Birthday - Love, Mommy & Daddy.

That sure was nice and the plant’s beautiful. There’s a beautiful ribbon on it too. It’s an indoor plant that doesn’t need a lot of light and it’s supposed to purify the air.

Tammy called and I also spoke to Lisa, Becky and Bill. They said tomorrow I should get their check, letters and my pictures. She said to buy whatever I wanted but make sure I tell them in a letter what I buy.

It’s been raining today like crazy for the first time in nearly two months. It took Andy an hour and a half to get home. Due to the flooding and lots of car accidents, he’s called off the cake and ice cream till tomorrow. It’s not safe for Diane and Velma to be out driving in this rain.

Earlier Dennis and I were in the pool and the Jacuzzi. The pool was so warm and you could see the steam coming up from the Jacuzzi and the pool due to all the moisture in the air.

Andy will be over soon and I’ll tell him to call my parents collect and he can now give them my number.

Tara may be over here later, but I’m not sure. Kara called me, too.

Saturday, December 5, 1992

Well, I sure do have lots more to write about since the last time I wrote. I’ll go in order of events.

Andy came over with my present in a really pretty bag that says happy birthday. I’ll write all the stuff he wrote on the card, but first, he got me two very pretty journals.

He also gave me tons of no-postage-necessary cards for several different magazines and information about a variety of different things. I sent stuff to Fran, Nervous, Bob, Bobbie, Russell, Jim, Debbie, Barbara, Mattie and Mark.

I decided the timing was right. I had Andy call my parents with me on the other line pretending not to be there, to tell them I just got a phone (sooner than expected). He gave Dad my number.

Dad answered and when he picked up he said, “Happy birthday!”

I heard Andy giggle. I laughed too, and of course, I had my mute on.

Dad called me right back and I thanked them both for the plant. I also told them how much I loved one of the bracelets they sent as well as other stuff in the package.

I told them what Andy got me and about my card and $5 from Dennis and Bea, my call from Tammy and my package from Kim.

Then Ma said they couldn’t get me my b-day gift as they were both sick. Then, she said, “Do I tell her, Art?”

Dad said, “Well, we didn’t want to tell you, but we can’t leave here. We’ve been quarantined.”

I asked what they meant and Ma said, “The health officials won’t let us leave cuz we have herpes. Therefore, we were never able to get you your present.”

I burst out laughing as I realized what they were talking about.

Then Ma said she wanted to get the phone rules straight (of course). She said she’d never accept any collect calls anymore as they’re too expensive (she’s oh so poor). They’ll call me, but she doesn’t want to pay to talk to a machine. I told them my machine broke so the phone company gave me one. She asked, “You ordered voice messaging?” I burst out laughing and she said I could talk to Dad now. I told Dad that if my phone rang 4 times, hang up. Also, I’m constantly in and out of here so I can’t guarantee I’ll answer when they call. I’m no longer a caged animal like I used to be.

Later...

Before I get into what happened last night, I’ll first cover today’s events. Well, I still haven’t gotten Tammy’s check as the mail’s running so much later due to the holidays.

Andy and I will be going to the swap meet tomorrow. He’ll buy what I want and I’ll pay him back. I wish I knew what the amount of the check is. My guess is $25.

I picked up my picture today along with Mary who was on her way to pick hers up at the same time. It can out so-so, but it sure could’ve come out better. I just don’t take so well to the camera.

Believe it or not, Jeff woke me up. Half the time I’ll always be woken up no matter what, so it seems. This is understandable, though, cuz he was moving. He gave me more hangers, a plant and this really nice, pretty, huge wicker basket with silk flowers and leaves in it.

I did some rearranging in here, but I sure do wish still that I could afford a 1-bedroom.

Dennis is fixing one of my speakers today and tomorrow he’ll do the other one.

While I was at his place I looked at the cat ads. There was only one possibility, but it was gone. He’s gonna leave tomorrow’s paper by my door in the morning as he’ll be awake earlier than I’ll be.

I’ll leave him two rolls of paper towels with two funny notes on them.

Andy, who was here earlier, forgot his. He forgets everything.

He and Velma were over for a while. Andy made himself and I pork chops. Velma cut his hair and gave me a birthday card and a pretty purple hairbrush.

Andy and Velma were supposed to go back to his place to make a cake, but I guess he fell asleep. He hasn’t called and I haven’t heard him over there.

While he was here, he gave me 6 pictures of Fay. So 3 will go to Nervous and 3 will go to Fran.

I wonder what Randy’s been up to? I haven’t heard from him.

Sunday, December 6, 1992

Well, I’m not ready to fall asleep yet and I probably won’t till around 4:00, so why not write?

Before I forget, that guy Bill whom I met with Randy at the grocery store never called last Monday. I last talked to him on November 27th. He gave me the typical, “I lost your number.” He said something about going to L.A. for the weekend but he’d call when he returned on Mon. He also gave me the number of some girl Kathy to call. She also hasn’t returned my call, so forget it. That tells me how serious they really are.

Andy did fall asleep, but I went over there anyway. Velma was watching TV and finally, Andy got up and frosted the cake, put candles on it, and they sang Happy Birthday.

Andy said to make a wish, but my 3 wishes are not grantable. 1. Being a singer. 2. Meeting a feminine gay woman. 3. Being able to quit smoking. All else I’m happy with so I didn’t make a wish.

Then, I thought of two other wishes, but they’re also not grantable. 1. Becoming madly attracted to butches. 2. Being able to do a career I hate.

While I was there I heard glass smashing in the parking lot. I checked Velma’s and Andy’s cars, but they were fine. Then, I realized I didn’t want to be seen in case someone did do something bad and be connected to it. Stacey will try to pin whatever happened on me.

Tomorrow night I’ll probably do some letter writing. Maybe editing, too.

Tammy still never mentioned speaking with Sheila. At this point, however, I don’t really give a shit. I’ve got permission to be here. Period. And I’m not a murderer.

I’d never ever date a cop, even if she were drop-dead gorgeous. Some of them are good like Mark and others I met. Others think they’re God, above the law, and can do anything. Well, not in my book.

Thursday, December 10, 1992

I sure do have lots to write about so I’ll get on with it now. Bob called last night and we spoke for 4 hours. He moved but is still in Turners Falls.

Fran also called but not for long. He got beeped by an important call, so he said. Andy and I really wanted to talk to him, too.

I sent letters off to Bob, Fran and Kim. Rather than send Kim those pictures, I’ll send her the negatives. Nervous oughta be sending back the few pictures I sent him. When and if he does, I’ll send them to Bob who says he’s still gonna come out here with or without Christina.

I finally got Tammy’s letter last Tues. I had to pay 64 cents for postage, but that’s OK. She never even used the negs to copy pictures with. She just helped herself to a few of the originals.

My guess on the amount of the check was right. It was $25. I’ve cashed it already cuz I’ve had to go to the bank for a new ATM card.

Stacey at the office made an agreement with me not to cash my check in till the 3rd of each month. Well, they goofed and cashed it in on the 1st, but they made up for it without giving me any shit. I re-wrote a check for $15 less as that’s the bounce fee. From now on I won’t be giving them my check till the 3rd.

Speaking of SSI and SS, the yearly raise has gone through. SSI was $16 and SS was $426. Now SSI is $15 and SS is $439. SSI will be taking $10 of the $15 SSI check cuz of that bullshit overpayment. So, I should be getting $454, but I’ll only get $444.

Still not enough for a 1-bedroom.

My niece still has not written to me, but oh well.

Andy gave me tons of no-postage-necessary cards. Also, tons of letters. One card he got from Jayke, plus two letters from her. Also, a postcard from Jayke and his sister Linda from Paris. He’d been saving these up and he gave me them to send to Nervous, which I will. I’ll also send Nervous my sister’s letter, the card from Mom and Dad that came on the plant they sent, cards from Andy, Velma, Tara, Dennis and other stuff.

Randy had been really sick with the flu, but I saw him a few days after my birthday. I’d given him $5 to pick up 2-3 packs of smokes for me, as he had to go to the store. He ended up buying me a carton.

I’m really tired and very hungry, so I’ll have to continue writing later.

Later...

Hunter’s coming on now, but I’ll write little by little on commercials.

I went to call Dennis yesterday just to say hi. His brother’s wife Susie answered and she told me Bea died. At the same time they’re grieving, they say it’s a blessing. She was really miserable and out of it. I can understand this, but the shocking thing is how fast she died. Less than 24 hours ago from the time she died, she was her usual self. I was over there for dinner and she was functioning, despite the fact that she was out of it and wasn’t aware of what she was saying or doing.

Bea’s death got me thinking about my dad. She died so fast and I was just talking to her the other day. My dad could call me one day, being his usual self. The next day mom could call saying he died of a sudden heart attack or something.

Later...

In 20 minutes In the Heat of the Night comes on, so I’ll write for now.

Andy gave me a full-size picture of Gloria, which is on the cover of her Greatest Hits CD. Her hair looked pitiful, but her dress, shoes and net stockings were nice. I put her picture in my photo album along with the pictures that Tammy sent back.

Tara was over a few nights ago. She picked out songs for me to tape for her. She’s gonna leave me her own blank tape one of these years. Tara’s not a flaky, forgetful airhead, so this goes to show how busy she is. She hasn’t even got the time to run a tape over here. I told her to leave it outside my door if she calls me and gets no answer.

Although the drawing of Tammy, Bill and the girls came out sort of shitty, it’s nice to know it’s finally done.

I need to write 4 letters at this time to Nervo, mom and dad, Tammy and Lisa and Becky. I also need to finish coloring my poster, which is almost done.

Bob left me a message earlier while I was watching Hunter. He’ll call back.

I guess someone will soon be moving in down below me. I hope not, but no one has moved in next to Andy yet. When whoever moves in, I just hope they’re quiet and never home. I hope it’s one person who never has company and no kids! I fucking hate kids nowadays and can’t stand to be around them. Why oh, why did I ever want a kid for half a second?

Friday, December 11, 1992

My show’s almost over, so I’ll be up writing for a while. I hope, though, that tomorrow I don’t sleep too late. It’s gonna be 72° so I want to lie out by the pool. I was in it today and it was like bath water and it was beautiful. Chilly, though, when I got out. It was 70º today, or now yesterday actually. Today 72°, then 55° the next two days and 53° the next two days after that. That’s a pretty quick and drastic change.

Later...

Now I’ve got a few things to say about Kara. A few nights ago she was over and we listened to tapes of convos and edits. We laughed our asses off and had a great time. Andy called at one point and the 3 of us spoke for a while. That was cool, but that’s as far as I can have them go. Andy’s friends are his friends and mine are mine. I don’t want him and Kara to talk on the phone or get together without me present. Even though Andy’s gotten better with coming in between me and my friends when he’s mad at me or someone or something else, and Kara has more of a spine than lots of others I’ve known, it’s still too risky. There are two reasons why it’s a little risky. One is cuz I notice that sometimes the more I’m against something, the more Andy’s driven to push it on me. Not always, but sometimes and it also depends on the situation. The second reason is cuz sometimes Andy’s extremely good at persuading people onto his side and pitting them against me. He does know he’s been wrong about doing this to me in the past and Kara certainly has way more of a mind of her own than Brenda and others I’ve known. Kara knows better, but here’s an example of Brenda and the many others like her I’ve known. Brenda and I are alone. I say to her, “Andy walks too hard and it’s annoying and unnecessary.” Brenda says to me, “You’re right. I agree and it’d annoy me too.” Now Brenda and I are with Andy and I say the same thing I said to her alone. But now Brenda says, “He’s a guy, so give him a break. Different people walk differently.” Kara’s much better than that.

Later...

Before the phone rings again, let me finish with what I have to say about Kara. I tried to decide whether or not I should settle. Well, let’s just say there’s no way I can settle for anything and everything. I also don’t intend to be doing this all the time. I couldn’t anyway unless I went to bars and went after butches only. I finally realized what I’ve been realizing for a very long time now. The ultimate attraction isn’t meant to be, otherwise, God would send it. I’m 200% sure I’ll never lust with a woman who’s not only feminine but to whom I am very attracted. So, now I’m gonna go “in between.” I’m not gonna stay celibate all my life and I’m not gonna settle for a man or an ugly woman. While Kara’s ugly, at the same time she isn’t. I like her personality and we share a lot of the same opinions and beliefs. I’ve gotten to know her and she’s very understanding of my situation and wouldn’t lose patience due to my not being used to being with a lover. She can go slowly and gently. We haven’t had sex yet, but she knows how I feel. I spoke with her and I was honest with her. I told her everything I just wrote down. But instead of, “You’re ugly, but you’re not,” I said, “You’re not my main preference, but you’re not a settlement either.” So, it’s her call now. I’ll let her make the move if she wants sex that bad. I’ll only initiate so much, then it’s the other person’s turn. I’m sure it will be a little scary, awkward and disappointing, but it gets a little easier to accept settling within reason. On the phone when we spoke she told me she was flattered. I didn’t expect differently, especially when God always sets it up to be one-sided. I just wish God would let someone I’m attracted to break down and say, “OK, I’m not attracted to you, Jodi. You’re not what I want, but all who’s available at the moment, so let’s just go for it till I can find a butch or whatever I want.” If having lust were meant to be in my life, then maybe this would happen more often, but all I know is that if it doesn’t turn me on, I can probably have it.

Kara may soon be calling.

Andy will be making us hamburgers later.

I chatted with Mary and while on my way back from the mailbox I got a Chanukah card from Fran. What a surprise, huh? The last time Andy and I were speaking with Fran, he asked the funniest question. Fran asked what is the difference between Hanukkah and Chanukah.

Saturday, December 12, 1992

Kara was over earlier and we had a nice chat and some laughs. Before she came over, there was a pledge drive on channel 8. Andy and I called one of the phone operators and you could see him on TV answering the phone. When he asked if he could have my pledge, I said, “No, I need my pledge to dust my furniture.” I told him we didn’t have any money and we are the very few and rare poor Jews. The guy said how much the station needed money and I said, “I need money too, so who’s gonna pledge and raise money for me?”

This reminded me of the Jerry Lewis telethon in 1989 when Andy and I lived in Springfield. I’d call operator 23, if I could see her or him, then say I was operator 18 and ask if she could see me waving. I could then see the operator looking all around. Then the host of the telethon would come on eventually saying, “There has been phone trouble and New England Telephone is checking into it.”

Later...

I hope the food stamps go up soon, but either way, they never give you enough.

Earlier Andy made us burgers, which was nice. I’ll still need to go out and spend cash on food before the 15th.

I left a note on Dennis’s door the day after Bea died. I said I was sorry, but for him to call if he needed anything. I also wrote that I wouldn’t call or go over there till he got ahold of me. I have not yet heard from him and I hope he’s doing OK.

Now I’m gonna go back to the night of my birthday. Denny’s gives a free dinner and dessert on your b-day. That’s nice, but here’s the part that’s extremely bad business. You must eat there and you can’t take your food home. A person should be able to order anything they want on their b-day as well as take their food home. We were gonna go to 2-3 Denny’s, order me dinner, have two bites of it, then take it home. The first Denny’s made me eat my dessert there, but they let me take my food to go. The second Denny’s wouldn’t let me take my food home. It was a stupid policy and I was in a rowdy mood as it was. Our waitress was no less than 6‘4” and she and the manager wouldn’t budge on the issue. Andy went up front to grab a handful of napkins so I could wrap my food, but he let her take them away. Then I got mad. I ran up to her and screamed in her face that people do use napkins and I grabbed them out of her hand. The girl looked absolutely terrified. She was scared shitless and her eyes looked as if they were gonna pop right out of her head. Then I went and sat down and began eating my cake.

The manager came up to collect my dinner and salad. I yelled that I was still eating my cake and she said, “OK, OK,” then ran from the table. When I finished half of my cake, I took mustard and poured it all over the rest of it. Then, I jammed the bottle into it. As we were leaving, the manager went to check it out and said, “Oh, thank you very much. Have a happy birthday.”

I called out, “Thank you, I will.” Me and Andy were cracking up about this all night.

Sunday, December 13, 1992

I got two hilarious cards from my parents today and $120! My bills are all paid, so I’m just gonna go shopping and have fun. It’ll be quite a while before I get the chance to again. I don’t need any journals now, so I’ll buy two books of stamps, some clothes and maybe some of Linda’s old stuff on CDs. I should do this while I’ve got the chance.

Got some really cool cards from my parents. They were funny.

Monday, December 14, 1992

I feel miserable today. I am very congested and I even took a decongestant and I’m waiting for the doctor to call. My chest and back muscles are tight and lumpy. It feels horrible.

Greg’s gonna be back any minute to fix my water tank. In the shower, I only have hot water for 5 minutes. If I shave, I only have time to shave one leg before the water turns cold. If I wash my hair, then want to shave I can’t cuz the water’s gone cold.

I still do have shit to write about, but I will some other time. I’m also pretty tired. I only slept a few hours.

Friday, December 18, 1992

I've been slacking off on my writing and I do have a lot to write about. However, I can't get in the mood right now. Most of what's been going on isn't too good, I'm sorry to say. Maybe tomorrow, after the tenth time maintenance wakes me up from downstairs I'll write. Never have I been happier about the weekend being right around the corner. Perhaps then I can get up when I want to.

Saturday, December 19, 1992

I have a million things to write about. I may as well get on with it now. The longer I put it off the more I’ll have to update. The little things, I may forget. Out of all I have to write about, there’s only one horrible thing. Well, two actually. Last Tuesday I awoke to maintenance slamming the door below me. This was the only time it was a big favor as I was wheezing very badly. I figured, “OK - I’m in Arizona. I’ll be fine after I’ve taken my meds and had coffee.” But no fucking way. I knew this attack was too much for me to fight. From the time I called 911 till the ambulance came, I thought I was gonna die. It was horrible and scary as all hell. They gave me an updraft and brought me to St. Joe’s, which was 20 minutes away. I never realized it was that far.

I was so mad, upset and frustrated. I had gone all this time since I was taken into Natchaug.

The previous night at 3 AM, Rachel had the ambulance here. She probably had an anxiety attack. I thought to myself, “This may be cruel, but thank God they’re not here for me.” Nine hours later I was made to eat my words. I was really bummed out, but like the nurses and doctors said, this is a very bad time for all the asthmatics. The nurse said that there’s no place where I’d never have any problems. I get that but as I told her, I was in the ER 2-3 or more times a month back east. She said she could see it being worse there, but here it’ll only be around this time of year. I sure do hope so and I actually do miss the summer.

Of all the times to need a ride, I couldn’t reach anyone. Andy was off, but he was out having work done on his car. Dennis wasn’t home and Tara was on her way to work and Tonya wasn’t home. Finally, after 5 hours I got ahold of Andy.

While I was there, I was chatting with a beautiful girl named Pam. I gave her my phone number, but I know she’ll never call. Jennifer will never call either, but I’ll get to her later.

Sunday, December 20, 1992

Now I will finish my updating on all that has been going on. Remember how I said I sent $23.95 to the Bedazzeler? Well, my check’s been lost in the mail somehow. That was this kit with colored stones that you staple onto your clothes. Tammy made a good suggestion, though. She said to look for it in an art store where I may save $5 or so.

Good God, I’m fucking freezing! Two seconds after the heat turns off it’s so chilly in here. The day Gordy fixed my hot water tank, he put foam installation around my doorframe. Look how much it helps.

I’ve written several letters, but I still have more to go. Last night I did some more editing. They were good, too. They were of Nervous. I’ve got many other people and many other tapes to edit, but I must go in order so I don’t get confused and get everything all mixed up.

I was pissed at Andy for erasing the 6 messages with edits I left him. He said he doesn’t have time in the morning to hear 20 minutes’ worth of stuff. No shit, but why didn’t he save it?

I’ve been erasing certain messages he’s left but for entirely different reasons. He sings on my machine, which is fine once in a while, but when it’s constant I get sick of it. It’s boring and he’s got to come up with something new and original, or just talk. The edits are always different. I never leave him the same edits over and over. His singing’s always the same and it’s the same Stevie stuff, stuff I don’t like, or stuff I don’t know.

I’m not too surprised that Steve never returned my letter or called. I am a little surprised that Cassandra has never called or written.

I’ve seen Dennis a few times since Bea died. He’s holding up OK. He’s not sure if he’s gonna stay in Phoenix or move elsewhere.

I haven’t written yet about December 6th. I looked in the Sunday paper and there was the perfect ad. It said, “Indoor, all black, neutered & declawed cat - free to good home. Shots, papers, litter box trained, 4½ years old.”

Me and Dennis went to this gorgeous girl’s house to get the cat. He was gorgeous. All black with medium-length hair. Now here’s the sad part. He turned out to be just like that little kitten I had to dump. He’d sleep all day, be all lovey-dovey through the evening, then scream from midnight till dawn. It drove me crazy and kept me up when I would’ve been able to sleep. Luckily, I was able to call this girl (Julie) and she came to take the cat back. I figured 3 strikes, I’m out and a cat isn’t meant to be right now. Moon Shadow was stolen, the kitten screamed all night and this cat did, too. I can’t have an indoor or outdoor cat. The outdoor one will be stolen and the indoor one will scream.

Later...

I just took a little break to make 3 scrambled eggs. Yum-yum and great for the cholesterol. But I’ve never had a problem with that so far. I’m cursed with other stuff.

Well, I know the security guard’s patrolling around as I just heard the walkie-talkie. I wish Dave were still here, but he’s been promoted. Weird too, as he was definitely drinking on the job.

I sure don’t miss Ellie. Despite the few good and funny talks and laughs we had, she sure was a backstabbing, delusional wimp and a psycho. She always has 10 emotional and 10 physical problems a day like Bob, but at least Bob’s no backstabber. Bob also isn’t sweet, friendly and giggling one minute, then furious the next over something pretty or something untrue. She, Robert, Mark, Donna, Rosemarie and Rick can all go fuck themselves.

So far, Stacey’s stayed off my back since she pulled her bullshit on me. But there’s been more anxiety and anger hanging around than I thought there’d be. Every day I drool over the thought of running into that office and mauling the shit out of her. Every day I must restrain myself from doing so. At first, I decided I would whenever I moved if she were still here. But I can’t cuz she can always find out where I moved to and haul my ass into court. Bummer, huh? But an asshole like this is bound to be fired or resign, hopefully, upon realizing just how many people she’s pissed off.

I was thinking of having Kara do me a little favor. Stacey’s never heard Kara’s voice so maybe she can call and say, “I just spoke to your boss. Me and my husband are tired of your harassment, so pack up your desk cuz you’re about to be out of a job.” She’ll be worried and confused, trying to figure out who the hell it could be.

At least I’ve never had problems with Judy or Paula.

The asthma attack was the worst news. Now I’ll get to the one other thing that wasn’t funny at all. I had gone into the hospital at 12:30 PM and come home around 6 PM. Even though I was beat and a major attack like that will wipe you out, I couldn’t sleep due to all the meds they gave me. Theodur and all the other stuff really winds you up. I couldn’t fall asleep till 4 AM, but I figured that was fine cuz I had no place I had to be the next day. I had a feeling for some time now that I’m just not meant to sleep half the time when I want to and get up when I want. I said, “God, if you care about me at all, please let me get the sleep I so desperately need.” Sure enough, at 10:30 AM Everett knocked on my door. I said, “This better be good,” and I explained to him what happened the previous day. He said there may be a leak in my toilet or an overflow system in the bathtub. I insisted there was no leak and that my floor in the bathroom was dry. He left and every 15 minutes till 2 PM they were banging the fuck out of the bathroom ceiling below me. At 12:30 PM Mike came up saying the wax ring broke and I couldn’t see the leak as it was between my floor and the downstairs ceiling. He said he’d be back at 2 PM and before he explained all this I went off on him. I said I didn’t want them guys here unless I filled out a work order.

The attack happened on the 15th. This happened on the 16th. At 2 PM, the knock on the door came that I so unfortunately expected. Guess who Mike and Everett had escorting them? None other than sweet little Stacey. When I opened the door they were standing halfway down the stairs just like Ellie was. If I’d been more with it I’d have fallen to the floor laughing. Stacey just said, “Hi, Jodi.”

I told them all what had happened to me, Stacey left, the guys did their thing, then left me the fuck alone. Leave it to God to leave it to me to have this happen on a day when I feel the absolute shittiest.

The next night I also fell asleep at 4 AM fearing I’d be woken up at 8 AM and get sick or feel like shit. They didn’t wake me up till 1 PM when they slammed or banged something. At least they let me sleep 9 hours even though I woke up here and there in between but I always do anyway. Friday, Saturday and today nothing woke me up. Maybe I’ll sleep OK this week, then with my luck it’ll be one thing after another the next week and it’ll just go back and forth like that.

Why do I have a feeling that all they’re doing down there isn’t all legit problems? I feel that after they’ve taken care of legit stuff, they’ll be down there anyway. Per orders of Stacey when they’re not busy with legit stuff. This is perfect for her to use against me with nothing I can do about it. She knows my schedule and a lot of my moves, remember? Even though Kara and I combed these vents and found nothing, people are weird. I wouldn’t be surprised if she set something up without my knowledge as technology’s amazing and a little frightening these days. If they have the money, means, manpower and curiosity, you never do know just how far people will go. There was once a time Gordy knocked 4 times. I never answered cuz I didn’t know who the hell it was and he woke me up and I was bushed. Then 15 minutes later he knocked again and yelled, “Hey, Jodi are you in there? It’s Gordy.” It was all as if he was so sure I was in there. How’d he know? They’ve seen me up and about at all different hours and leaving the property. How’d he know I wasn’t out?

Later...

I just stopped to make coffee and Andy called a half-hour ago to say good night.

There were 3 Christmas cards on top of the mailboxes with no apartment number on them. One day Andy took two and the next day I took one. They were addressed to some guy. Two were from Houston and one was from Phoenix. I’m sending them to Nervous. I don’t understand why Pete left them on top of the mailbox just cuz there was no apartment number. I’ve gotten mail with no apartment number put in my box. I also got returned to me a letter I sent Nerv saying there was 10¢ postage due cuz of irregular size. Irregular size my ass. I’ve sent thicker envelopes before. The other 5 made it to him OK I guess. There was a total of 6, believe it or not. There were tons of cards and letters and I could only put 2 to 3 in each envelope.

I’ve decided what I’m gonna do if my pictures don’t come when my guitar comes. This will hurt for a while, but I’m gonna ditch certain pictures. I really do believe now, that my mom trashed them. That really pisses me off, but maybe it can become a favor for me in a weird way I won’t get into now.

Monday, December 21, 1992

An hour ago I began to feel tired, but as usual, I laid down only to wake up.

I wonder what maintenance will decide to do downstairs tomorrow.

I’m fucked at the end of this month. Andy’s sister Marla is coming in for 4 days, which is fine. The bad catch to it is her 4-year-old son has to come along too, unfortunately. I’m gonna tell Andy he has a right to his own company, but it better not interfere with my peace. His guests are for his ears only.

Kara would let me stay with her, but I can’t. How can I sleep with a baby there, let alone 3 adults?

I also made a rule that anyone who wakes me up is gonna get woken up in return. No matter what schedule they’re on or I’m on. I got a right to my schedule as they do theirs.

Unless I get a package, I hope and pray I sleep OK this week.

Kara’s been over several times a week. Our friendship’s really grown and is a very good one. She’s heard lots of tapes of edits and convos and they really crack her up. She’s so much like me and Andy and I really need that. More so now as Andy’s on a day schedule always and works full-time.

I’ve edited Kara a little and Andy did a very funny favor for her the other day. He called Brian, a guy she slept with a few times, but turned out to be a flaky, undependable drunk. He hit on Brian who went off big time with another male and female friend. Before he did this I left some edits for him. Kara and I didn’t know the girl’s name and with all the names to guess, I said Rachel, which turned out to really be her name.

Kara met Tonya earlier. I called Tonya for some cigarettes when I woke up. I went over to get them and we chatted for a while. Then, I gave her money to pick me up two packs of smokes on her way back from the gym. Tonya also came over here today as I wanted to show her this killer outfit I got at the mall. I also wanted to show her the new chair I got, my plant that Mom and Dad sent and that wicker jug of silk flowers Jeff gave me. I also showed her my pictures that Tammy sent me back and basically my place, which has come a long way since I’ve been here.

I’d still kill for a 1-bedroom. I need the extra space (especially closet space).

I got that black lace skirt I wanted for some time now. It’s got a solid black silk lining inside, then lace on the outside. I like this so I don’t have to wear my black tights under it as I did with my all-lace skirt. I also bought an awesome camisole, which is pink and black.

I got a full-length mirror and a chair that’s not a regular chair from the thrift shop. It’s a round saucer-like thing on a wicker stand. There’s a soft round cushion on it and you can even pull it off to lay on the floor or whatever. It was priced at $40, but I talked the guy down to $20. Andy once again said that if he needs to buy anything expensive, he’s sending me in there.

I also donated all my 45s and albums. I better tape backup copies in case the originals get eaten up.

I’m not sure if I mentioned the glitter glue I got at the grocery store. I thought it was a glitter pen and it said, “glitter pen.”

My parents called a few days ago and I told them how much I loved their cards. We talked about stuff in general, but I did not tell them about my attack. I told Tammy who called a few days after they did. Tammy and everyone else in the family have been very busy. She said they’re putting together a Chanukah package for me. That’s unexpected but nice. She also said she got a kick out of my joke in one of my letters. This is the joke:

Q: What do lesbians on a diet eat? A: Jenny Craig.

She asked me what Mom and Dad said when I told them I got a phone. I wonder why she asked me that, but I didn’t think to ask her. She liked the picture I sent her.

I wonder if Mom and Dad got the package I sent them with the geeky grandma clothes they sent down to my other apartment They never mentioned it and I forgot to ask. There’s always so much to tell and ask that it’s hard to keep track of everything. I do usually write notes, which I refer to when I write their letters.

Tonya and Tara are going home to Canyon City, Colorado for Christmas and she said she may need me to feed her two birds. It’d be nice if they were gone while Andy’s sister and nephew are here so I could stay there.

I polished my nails blue last night. My parent’s favorite! Kara saw it and she really liked it, so I did hers, too.

I wonder just what’s taking Nervous so long to send me back my pictures? I’ve always been able to trust him around my stuff. With money and anything. There’s only one thing I’m pretty sure he stole and that’s a pair of black bikini underwear. Brenda, I think, also stole two pairs and one of them she’d always say she liked. Luckily that’s all she stole.

Later...

I wish to hell it was summer again. I miss the outdoors, the pool and living on my patio. It feels like I’m back in MA during the night and early morning. They did say it’s “amazingly cool,” so that’s cool. It’s normally not this chilly, but I’m shocked just like Andy was his first winter here. Right after the heat turns off it’s chilly in here. Like my dad said, where he is it’s the warmest in the nation. The good thing about it is that it won’t be long before it warms up again. Winter will be about 4 months, rather than 8-9.

I just hope I can tan somehow and not get sun poisoning. If I always have to wear sunscreen, I’ll be forever cursed with being white. You can’t tan with sunscreen. Another reason why I want summer to hurry up and return is due to the fact that my asthma should be much better. Since mid-Oct. it’s been bad for all asthmatics.

I can’t wait till my family can come see me. Dad said maybe in the summer. I told him he’d have to stay in a hotel. He agreed as they’ll have the dogs. I figured they’d drive out, rather than fly. I wonder how Tammy, Bill and the girls will get out here? I guess they’ll fly. I figure they can’t take the added days to drive. Unless Tammy and Bill want to experience it for themselves and especially the girls. This way, they can all see more states besides Arizona.

Later...

Well, I’m still wide awake, naturally. If I fall asleep around 6:00, believe it or not, I hope something does wake me up at 11:00 or so. I’d just have to stay up and hope I don’t feel shitty. If I can back up my schedule a few hours each day, that’d be nice. I’d kind of like to be waking up early for a while so I can do more during the day. Maintenance or some other source will wake me up. Probably the lawnmowers. It’d be nice to get woken up by UPS at 11:00, but they usually don’t come that early. I’m not expecting any packages so soon, anyway.

Well, it’s going to be 62º today. The days are usually like beautiful spring days.

The day maintenance was here which was the day after my attack, I gave a few donations to the child protective services and food bank. All the maintenance guys, the housekeeper, Judy, Paula and Stacey were out collecting stuff. I felt it fair to do my share for two reasons. One was cuz my childhood was no bowl of cherries, two is cuz that food bank helped me while the food stamp people were busy taking me for a ride at first. I gave some extra drawing markers and some baked beans, which I don’t really like.

Before doing so, I heard movement outside my door and when I went out to check there was a candy cane on my doorknob. Then, I saw Everett and the housekeeper (whose name I don’t know) passing by with a shopping cart. Everett said he thought I was still asleep. I said I wish.

I should go wash my face, which is severely broken out now. I mean major zits.

I’ve done a lot of editing and gave Andy back one of his 100-minute tapes. I have half of one side of the second 100-minute tape to do. I also have his “best of calls” tape I promised long ago I’d edit. Lastly, I have several of my own to finally get edited.

Then I have two posters to color, letters to write and four 40-page stories to write. I’ll be busy with all this for quite a while, but it’s better than not having anything to do. Still, I need more than journal writing and letter writing.

Oh yeah. I just remembered another long put-off and forgotten project. A new Gloria medley, now that I’ve got all her stuff on CDs. I still don’t have her Greatest Hits yet, but I will. I wish I had Linda’s latest and all the songbooks ever put out of Linda and Gloria and all their tour books that were ever made.

I want my fucking pictures back. Why would my mom ditch them? What purpose is there for that? Cuz she thought to have them was childish or something? Well, that should be for me to decide and not her. They were my pictures.

Friday, December 25, 1992

The last few days were not too cool. Especially the first 4 days of the week, but they’re better today.

I had my second fight with Andy since I got here. He told me that for 4 days at the end of January, his sister and nephew are gonna be here. I called and said on his machine that I was gonna try to find a place to stay. I don’t really feel like staying here and listening to a 4-year-old kid bounce off the walls whether I’m awake or not. That part was OK for me to say, but then I’ll admit my anxieties took me a little too far. I told him that if I went through 4 days of hell, I’d get him back for it. In my mind, getting back meant slamming my doors and banging shit all over. He called me, and naturally, he was all pissed and freaking out with paranoia and demanded his key back. He said, “Either get evicted or give me my key back.” I laughed, reminding him he can’t just run to the office, say he’s pissed at me, and demand I be evicted. The key thing was amusing too, as he’s known me long enough and he knows well enough to know I’d never fuck up his place. With the exception of Ellie who was never my best friend and who did a severely raunchy thing, I have to be seriously provoked to do something that drastic. Or one would have to swing at me first or go after my stuff. He knows this very well, but it was something to do and to try to piss me off, but I knew where he was coming from. So he said banging and slamming things wouldn’t accomplish anything, and he can’t help the way his nephew is.

So I figured OK, he’s right about that part, we all say stuff we shouldn’t or didn’t really mean, I went too far, let him call me when he’s ready. So the next day I finished editing the second and 100-minute tape of his. I left a message saying I was gonna leave his unfucked up tape outside his door and I did. I returned his key the previous day.

I figured he would never call for me to do his laundry. If he did, I’d have let him know how much of a nerve he’s got. If he can’t trust me in his apartment, how can he trust me with his laundry? He did do his own laundry, then the final straw and the last shit to hit the fan was the next day, which would be yesterday. I stayed up till noon, so I could sleep later. I needed to sleep until 8 PM at least. Sure enough, though, at 5 PM he was slamming the fuck away in his bathroom. That was it. I was ripped shitting pissed. My heart was beating so hard and so fast. I was so damn exhausted and I felt like total shit.

I left him a message as he’d not dare ever leave his ringer on. I told him I started the first little dispute, but this one he instigated. I don’t know what the fuck set him off, I said, but as long as he was to play this game, I’d play right along.

Kara came over and I was telling her all about it, then I slammed my doors for quite a while. After he’d gone to sleep, I was gonna slam my doors but figured he’d have a hard enough of a time sleeping cuz of the anxiety of wondering if I was gonna slam doors. I stopped the door slamming around 10:00 and figured that was maybe enough to scare the message into him.

I then called to leave another message. I told him I cannot physically handle the stress anymore and that I need to sleep. If he lays off of me, I’ll lay off of him.

So earlier (Christmas Eve) we spoke. I asked if he remembered our agreement, which was that neither of us would wake the other up if we got into a fight. He also told me slamming doors wouldn’t accomplish anything, so why does it accomplish anything for him? Especially after two days, you’d think the steam would be cooling off. I apologized for some things I said, but let him know that what he did wouldn’t cut it as I have a major sleeping disorder. I’m hyper and my meds make it worse. It accelerates my heart making me a light sleeper along with being scarred from the projects. I used to be able to function occasionally on a few hours of sleep, but I just can’t do that anymore without feeling shitty. I told him, though, that now knowing how the building is, I would always be a day person if I had my way. Thank fucking God the building’s not like the NHA.

Andy was telling me how everywhere I’ve gone, there’s been a problem. True, but that’s life. Every living place and job has its good and bad. Some more good, some more bad, some all good, some all bad. I’m also beginning to suspect that God may’ve put a curse on me as far as noise and shit neighbors go, beginning with the NHA. Nonetheless, it never was my fault that Woodside Terrace and Locust St. got so bad. It never was my fault Kim abandoned me. It never was my fault Tammy and I were told the NHA was quiet. It was never my fault the walls of the NHA were paper-thin and it was infested outside with 10,000 screaming kids.

I reminded him that there’s always a problem at each of his jobs. He had problems with the people up above him on Belmont Ave. in Springfield He had problems renting a room with some woman named Gail. He had problems with Donna and Diana and other people when he first got here. In his first apartment here the neighbors below him bitched about his nephew. And besides me, he’s had problems and complaints about this building. The people that used to live next to him and Rachel and Tony always slamming their doors. Whether or not all these problems were none, partially, or all his fault, this is just life.

So I said all I had to say and told him I didn’t feel like fighting with him or anyone else for that matter. He agreed and we dropped it.

Later...

At around 9 AM yesterday morning I went to get a package from Fingerhut I’d forgotten all about. It was full of Tupperware and it also had a key rack that I already got from them when I was in S. Dfld.

Andy came over at 8:30, an hour and a half after I got up, and I gave him the key rack and some Tupperware. Then at 9:30 Kara came over and I gave her some more Tupperware as I definitely don’t need all of it. She brought me some hangers. While she was here we filled out no-postage-necessary cards to Nervous, Fran, Bob and Bobbie. We also listened to tapes, ate popcorn, and she wrote a page to Fran. I can’t wait for the two of them to talk on the phone. Fran and Kara will love it and have a field day with each other.

I’m so glad to have met a friend other than Andy who’s so much like me. I can be myself and Kara loves the tapes of both the edits and convos. She knows all our major “lines” now and now she’s writing funny letters with me. You always think when you first move somewhere how you must start all over. Get a new group of friends. Friends who are honest and understanding and have that same weird sense of humor and let you be yourself. Of course, you still meet 10 jerks for every good person you meet.

Speaking of a jerk named Rosemarie, well pay back’s due. I figured I’d wait 5-6 months so as to appear less obvious and egg her car. On her way home, Kara dropped an egg on her windshield. Now, I’m sure to be punished for this, but then again I don’t know. It’s been a year now almost since I could sleep and get up when I say so and things go wrong even if I behave. And I’ve never been more behaved than I am now for a long time. No phone calls.

To change the subject now, I still have that fucking annoying and itchy discharge from downstairs. I give up as I’ve no idea what the fuck to do. It’s incurable.

I’m surprised I haven’t heard from Jessie or Cassandra, but not surprised I haven’t heard from Steve. No pictures yet from Nervous or from mom. I’m sure now, they both trashed them. Fran left a message earlier saying Happy Chanukah and that he is gonna be sending me a letter. Great! Fan-fucking-tastic! Just what I’ve been dying for. With all the letters I send him, it’s only fair. I figured sooner or later he’d get into it, too. Bob also left me his “liquid plumber cappuccino” message. Back when he’d threaten to kill himself with lye, I’d tell him he better make it a liquid plumber cappuccino.

I’m gonna leave a thank you note to Pete the mailman. Stacey refused packages in other names out of spite. Thanks to Pete he left a package two days ago by my door in Lisa S’s name. So, Stacey doesn’t realize that in a way she’s done me a favor. Some will be delivered right to my door.

The package was a porcelain doll, anyway. It’s pretty, even though it’s made up to be old-fashioned. It’s a girl in a light blue nightgown holding a teddy bear. There’s a matching bonnet on her head and she’s got green eyes with blond curly hair. Stevie hair, Andy said.

Saturday, December 26, 1992

I am so damn bored right now. I have plenty, which I could do, but I just don’t feel like it at the moment. I have those stories to start, editing to do, a new Gloria medley to make, and coloring my velvet posters. My letter writing can hold off till after the first of the year.

Andy called me at 6:30 this morning. I answered as I was awake and had my ringer on. He was on his way to work and saying how more and more he needs and wants to quit smoking.

At 8:00 or 9:00 this morning, I fell asleep and thankfully I awoke on my own at almost 6:00 this evening. The weird thing is that I haven’t heard him even quietly walking around. Not a peep. Not even his toilet flushing since I awoke and there’s no way you can not hear that. Toilets flushing doesn’t bother me, but where could he be?

Yesterday Bob and Fran left messages, but no word from them yet. They’ll try again when I’ve stepped out or I turn off my ringer or am asleep.

Last night I continued reading back in my journals. I read number 5, which wasn’t too bad. Some of it was interesting and funny, but I sure was naïve. I guess soon I’ll start reading number 6.

I’m sure Rosemarie discovered her egged car by now. Serves you right, bitch!

Sunday, December 27, 1992

Yesterday I turned out to be pretty productive. I wrote letters to my parents, Tammy, Lisa and Becky and Fran.

I junked the bed frame I put out on the patio. I really don’t need it and with me being so small I can handle the bed being a little lower.

I scrubbed the hell out of the kitchen. No wiping around things, either. I took everything off the countertops. I wanted and still need to do the whole place, but I was getting way too tired and dizzy.

I fell asleep at noon, woke up shortly at 6:00, heard him stomp a few times, then I finally got up at 9:00.

Fran called at 10:15 and we spoke for about 15 minutes.

I just finished Kim’s letter tonight. Next, I’ll work on Fran’s and Nervous’. Bob will only be getting one more letter since he claims to be leaving soon. I’ll send it right after the New Year. I typed up several envelopes last night. There are about 9 for Tammy, 9 for Becky and Lisa and 9 for mom and dad. There are also 6 for Fran, 6 for Nervous and 6 for Kim. I think stamps are going up, but even if they stay at 29 cents, it’s costly and it does add up. I won’t stop writing permanently to them, but I’ll slow down quite a bit. I’ll explain this to Kim, but not Nervo and Fran. I’ll keep them expecting and wondering with shock why they’re not getting all their letters. I’ll write to my family as often as I do now.

I’m still doing a little something for Tammy, Mom and Dad. I’ve got colored paper, which is about 4x6, and I’m making calendars. I’m making myself one, too, as I had this tiny little microscopic calendar I didn’t like. I could barely see it yet my eyes are fine. So, I have my teddy bear calendar on my refrigerator and the ones I made taped to my bedroom wall. Actually, I’m typing them. I can fit 4 months on one piece of paper. So there will be 3 pieces to each calendar.

Time out for a smoke.

Later...

Well, Andy quit smoking for 27 hours, he had told me on my machine in the early evening. I am to try to follow when I run out of cigarettes, which will be very soon. I’ve decided to take the healthier misery and always crave one and get fat. I’d also like to get off the Theo due to its side effects, even though they’re a joke compared to the Navane. Anything’s better than TD, but it causes dry skin, hair and nails. Makes my stomach gassy and bloated and it revs me up way more than I naturally already am. I have my own natural source of energy. Quitting smoking and getting off my meds won’t always keep me on a schedule, but it’ll help a little. The cravings will suck and I’m sure they’ll never go away. You get constipated for a while, retain water and your metabolism drops. This is why they say to drink lots of water. I’ll die by 30 for sure if I don’t quit and I wrote up a list of the + and the – to quitting. The positives are: I’d breathe better, sing better, save money, improve my immune system, get off meds and rid of bad side effects. The negs are the cravings and the weight gain.

Later...

I just made some coffee and emptied the dishwasher.

I put together a list of 15 exercises for each of the major muscle groups.

In a few hours, I really must finish the house cleaning which I got so sick of. I’m not into it like I used to be, but it needs to be done. My asthma and allergies will appreciate it. I must do the bathroom, dust and vacuum.

Kara’s mom is returning from Williams (a 4-season area). She is fighting with her boyfriend. So, now it’ll be Kara, Ashley and Kara’s mom and stepdad.

I’m a little disappointed in Kara’s mom Alana. The phone is in Alana’s name and I asked Kara to ask her if she could call Boston for their zip codes to the hospital. I’d pay, of course, but Alana said no. Can’t she trust her daughter’s friends? Plus, I did her a favor for their Thanksgiving dinner. I lent her two bowls, so she could’ve returned the simple little favor, which would’ve been under a buck.

Well, since Tammy said she liked the last joke I sent her, she oughta enjoy this one too. I told her that if anyone ever asks her how her sex life with Bill is, she can say this:

Quarter after 1, we’re having some fun in the bedroom.

Quarter after 2, he took off my shoe.

Quarter after 3, he put his hand on my knee.

Quarter after 4, he threw me on the floor.

Quarter after 5, we began to jive.

Quarter after 6, he grabbed my tits.

Quarter after 7, it felt like heaven.

Quarter after 8, he stuck it up straight.

Quarter after 9, we are doin’ fine.

Quarter after 10, we do it all again.

Well, Rosemarie must be pretty pissed right now. Also, wondering who the fuck could’ve egged her precious little car. I still expect punishment for this, but it hasn’t come yet. I’m about to get my period so I hope it won’t be bad cramps. Although, some things could be much much worse. Maybe she’s owed more than payback for pissing me off and God’s having me punish her? Who knows? Time will tell. I think she knows I moved, but of course, not where to. She heard me telling someone on the payphone I was about to move, so she may not even know I’m still at this complex. Maybe she’s seen me hang out with Ellie last summer and asked her, but I’m not really worried about it now. She’s an asshole and a half, although I still very occasionally fantasize about her. About every 2-3 months, I have sex with her in my mind, but she doesn’t know it. In this fantasy, she’s left Rick. I transfer to a 1-bedroom right next to her. Eventually, we speak and yes, it was paranoia caused by Rick. Also, her own private little fantasies kept in the closet. But in time, little by little, I bring her out of that closet.

These fantasies will always be the story of my life. The sex stories of my life, I should say. I do know now and am 100% sure I’ll always be celibate unless I settle. As for Kara, well, I still don’t know yet.

Later...

I am getting very tired. Soon, I’ll be going to bed and praying that Andy doesn’t wake me up.

I cleaned everything but the bathroom. Tomorrow I’ll do that. Cleaning this place sure doesn’t take long cuz it’s so small and I only have 10 shelves for furniture to dust. I do dust the stuff on the shelves. I did that a little while ago along with vacuuming the carpet. Tomorrow I’ll do the bathroom and vacuum that floor and the kitchen floor. Of course, they both take 3 minutes each.

As I said a while back, I changed my mind on my suspect for the firecrackers. At first, due to the timing and coincidence, I thought it was Stacey. It still very well could be, but I think it’s more like something Robert would do.

I took a piece of plain paper and wrote in bold capital letters, “I know about the firecrackers.” I put it in a regular envelope and wrote only his address and name in bold black marker. I put it on top of the mailboxes. So, if it’s him, and I’m fairly sure it is, I’d like him to know that I know.

A guy who lives in the building next to me gave me a couple of smokes as I couldn’t hold out. Kara came over with Ashley and she gave me a couple too. This is good as I really need to at least cut down first. I couldn’t have her stay long as I’m beat. I couldn’t stand it when Ashley screamed, so I was anxious to get her out of here.

I told her to check out Rosemarie’s car and she says it looks like she hasn’t discovered it yet. Guess she’s stayed in all weekend.

Due to being blessed with being able to wake up when I do so on my own for the last 3 days, I hope this doesn’t mean I now must wake up when Andy slams his door too hard. Or gets out of control with stomping. Or by someone else’s door. About 70% of the time in the last year I’ve been woken up by someone or something. When’s it gonna stop? When can I depend on not being woken up 90% of the time? In a week’s time, I’ve been woken up between 2-6 times. I’m sick of this shit. So sick of it!

Monday, December 28, 1992

Yesterday afternoon I fell asleep around 1:00. I awoke at 8:30 on my own, but still, I knew my luck would run out. Andi next door has a very large family, which I noticed last summer. Well, she’s got 10-15 boys over there now! They’re around junior high to high school ages. This is just great. School doesn’t start till next Monday and I hope and I pray they won’t be here that long or I’ll die. Tomorrow, late morning or early afternoon, I’m sure I can count on being woken up constantly. Doesn’t Andi still have to work? What will they all do while she’s gone? How long will they all be here?

Well, I got my period and luckily I don’t have cramps.

Right now it is raining out. I hope the letter I stuck in the mailbox earlier to Kim didn’t get drenched. In this particular mailbox, the rain can easily get in. I also put Robert’s note on top of the mailboxes and I hope that’s not drenched and that the wind didn’t blow it away.

Shortly after I got up, Kara came over.

I also spoke to Randy who gave me the TV Time section. He’s been really sick.

I hope Dennis doesn’t move real soon. I’ll call him today or tomorrow and see what he’s up to. Also, maybe we can do errands together.

Andy called one of the Boston hospitals. I asked for the zip codes for both hospitals and tomorrow I’ll mail in all the information to Dr. Kareus. I’ve also signed the release of information papers. Tomorrow I’ll sew a torn pocket in a pair of Andy’s pants to return the favor. Of course, I’d still do it anyway just to help a friend.

I wonder if I’ll get Tammy’s package this week.

I just hope and pray to God to get rid of Andi’s many many many guests tomorrow before I go to sleep. However, I’m sure that’s wishful thinking and dreaming. With my luck, they’ll be here a few days at least, if not till next Monday. I knew my luck had to run out sooner or later. But if Andi’s got to work, I can’t see her leaving 10-15 kids here all by themselves even though they’re not little kids.

God, just make them disappear tomorrow! Poor Mary. She must be having a blast having to be underneath this shit.

Kara says there are still eggshells on Rosemarie’s car, even though it’s pouring steadily out there. Kara and Andy say it takes 2-3 years for eggs to wear off. Unless she gets it professionally cleaned. I believe she can afford to do so, too. Andy and I know it takes a long time for eggs to wear off cuz of about two years ago. We were out throwing eggs when I threw one so hard that it bounced back and splattered a little on the passenger’s door.

Later...

I can still hear some movement next door. The sad part about it is that I can’t call the office about it. They won’t do anything about it as the only way to shut kids up (especially 10-15 of them) is to totally get rid of them. Plus, they’ll only tell me she’s allowed to have company like anyone else is. But 10-15 guests? I just wish I knew they’d be leaving permanently tomorrow morning. That’d sure ease my mind, but I doubt I’ll be that lucky. Why does shit like this always have to happen to me?

I also can’t wait for whoever it’ll be to move downstairs. That oughta be one hell of a blast.

If Dennis is to be here January 23-26, I will have to see if I can stay at his place to avoid listening to and feeling Andy’s nephew bounce off the walls.

So, Nervous did rip me off after all. It’s a good thing I already have copies of the ones I sent him. This is why I first did this as a test. Now I know never to send him pictures I have no copies of. If he’d sent them back, I would’ve sent them to Bob, but if Bob comes here or sees Kim’s copies, I’ll send them to Fran. When and if Kim sends back the negatives, and I believe she will, I’ll still send those to Nervous. Whether or not he develops them is a different story. He probably will out of curiosity, but if he does, he does and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t.

I wonder if he’s still not smoking. It’s been almost 3 days for Andy, that lucky little shit.

I wonder just when my mom is gonna send me my other guitar. I’m not ever counting on seeing all my other pictures that ended up in Florida. However, I won’t yet dump the part of my collection that made it out here. When I do, though, I’ll only dump part of it.

Later...

If the rain continues, I wonder if the people that mow the lawn will call it off, but last week I cranked up my radio and slept right through it.

A great time for my family to come and see me would be late May or early June before my lease is up. This way they can see my studio if I do move on June 10th or 15th when it expires. There are no models for studios. There’s a model for the large and small 1-bedroom and for the 2-bedroom. Is there one for the medium size 1-bedroom, I do not know. I’d love for Mom, Dad, and Tammy to see these models. Not the small 1-bedroom, though. It’s barely bigger than a studio. I may only be able to afford the 1-bedroom over at the Via El Camino complex where Kara is. I’d really rather stay here and find a way to convince my parents to up their monthly help a bit. If they could see in person how much more beautiful this complex is and their 1-bedrooms, maybe that’ll work. I really really do need that extra space. I especially need its closet. It would make my day if they’d turn the studio below me into a model. They’d put furniture in it too, making it less hollow. Sounds would be absorbed much better this way. This is why Andy can’t hear my TV unless he’s in his bathroom. Not that TVs bother me like slamming, sliding, and banging, but I can never hear his TV either unless I go into my bathroom.

In 1993 I hope to be in a bigger apartment!

Tuesday, December 29, 1992

Yesterday was an absolutely miserable day. Last night, too. It just goes to further my belief that God will never let me sleep no matter where I go. I also believe this definitely still would’ve happened even if I never had Kara egg Rosemarie’s car. Mary downstairs got the worst of it, but we both suffered pretty badly. The end results, however, are positive. I think they are, but let me start at the beginning. It’s almost like I was back at the NHA. I swear there’ll never be any escape! There’s always gonna be one thing after another.

Last night at midnight I asked them to keep it down. It didn’t work. I pounded the wall once, then at 1 AM, they went to sleep. At 8:00 yesterday morning I called Mary downstairs who’d thought what I thought - that she was moving. She said they kept her up late, driving her crazy. She said they began the same thing an hour ago at 7:30. I told her how many kids were there and that my speaking to them twice never worked. I also told her one of the boys (they were all boys) said they’d be there all week. No fucking way. Mary insisted at first that Andi was out as her truck was gone. Yet she’d been there the whole time and we didn’t know it yet. Mary said someone in her huge family must have a house, so why don’t they go there, rather than in a tiny studio? Good question. Then she said, “Nothing against the Mexicans and their huge families, but where there’s 1, there are 50.”

No shit! Then, with me on the line listening quietly, she called the office. She said she was sick, and she really was and needed her rest. She needs to go to work, so they better do something if they want her to go to work so she can pay the rent. Paula had answered and she said something about getting a letter up to them.

After Mary spoke to Paula, she and I ran to Circle K where I picked up 2 packs of cigarettes, 3 candy bars, a pack of gum and some milk. I returned to them slamming and banging and I called Paula. I told her how many people were there and how they went on the previous night. I also told her I was considering breaking my lease and looking for a place elsewhere. There have been too many problems here, but I’m sick of being woken up. The complex is beautiful and so aren’t the apartments, but the walls are too thin. No, they’re nowhere near as thin as the NHA, but still too thin. The thickest walls were the Woodside Terrace and Oswego Street buildings. I miss walls like that. I can only deal with a little outside noise at this point. I hate it when the kids scream, but at least you can’t feel that. I just turn on my radio, even though there are times when I want total quiet. At least there is a way out of hearing the kids by turning on the radio, but there’s no escaping all those bumps and bangs you can feel. Kara said you wouldn’t hear this if it were at her complex. Maybe her walls are thicker due to how cheap her electric bills are. When I was at her place for Turkey Day, she had her heat turned off and it was a furnace in there.

Later...

Continuing and hopefully finishing next door’s story - I spoke to Paula once and Mary spoke to her twice. After Mary called for the third time, believe it or not, it was Stacey who went to talk to them. I stood by my door listening. She said she had way too many people and there were many complaints. Also, to stop slamming and banging, and no jumping on sofas. Andi bullshitted her in defense by saying she understands, but that I do it too, which is total BS, naturally. I could have sworn I heard Stacey say she understands my situation, whatever she means by that. I heard Andi say they were leaving tomorrow (today) and I knew they’d shut up only temporarily. I knew this about as well as I knew my luck would run out after sleeping well for 4 days.

So, I got those Boston zip codes from Andy and I mailed my mail. I watched some talk shows on TV and their noise subsided not completely, but somewhat. I figured, with kids being kids, it’d have to start back up sooner or later.

I fell asleep at 1:30 PM. Sure enough at 7 PM, they were ready to tear the walls down. I went outside and kicked their door and screamed at them, I was so pissed. I’m ready to rip the shit out of this bitch and I’ll do it right in front of the kids, too! Maybe that would set an example for them and teach them a little lesson or two.

I felt shitty, but it could’ve been worse. I blasted the shit out of my stereo to drown them out till 8:30. They still wouldn’t shut up, so I turned it on again till 9:15 or so. Finally, at 10:30 I realized they just didn’t get it and only gave a damn about themselves. Some folks have no consideration whatsoever and I’ve never ever had a problem with her or with noise from her before, but this just did not cut it. My last resort was to call the cops. I did and it worked.

Now for the surprising part. Once I’m woken up it’s usually hard to fall back asleep. Especially at night with me being a night person. But I did at almost 11 PM. Around midnight there was a big bang (their grand finale), and luckily, as quickly as I began fuming, I fell back asleep till almost 3 AM.

Wednesday, December 30, 1992

I guess Andy’s having trouble sleeping or is sick. It’s not like he’s noisy or anything, but I’ve heard movement over there all night long.

Yesterday morning at around 9:00 I heard them next door. The kids would slam their door, but finally, they left at about 11:00, thank fucking God! Now it should be peaceful for the next 4 days until something else wakes me up.

I was at the office yesterday and all 3 of them were in there. As usual, Paula and Judy were very friendly and understanding while I could feel Stacey’s hatred burning into my every pore.

I spoke to Paula, letting her know that although this complex and the apartments are beautiful, I may begin looking elsewhere. I thought the 1-bedrooms were $335, but they’re $349 and they’ll no doubt go up in June. That’s dirt cheap for such a nice apartment, but not anything I can afford. I wonder why I should even bother transferring to a 1-bedroom here anyway knowing how thin the walls are. Even if I could afford it, I should go look for thicker walls.

I fell asleep yesterday at 4 PM and I got up at 9:50 PM. Nothing woke me up, but I wanted to sleep later.

Dennis left a message saying I could have their dining room table and chairs along with other stuff. I have no room for the table and chairs, but I sure wish he was giving up his color TV. I’ll call him at 8:00. I also need to go to the store.

Kara left a message, too.

Later on, I’ll write about what Mary and I discussed concerning a cat and the crazy pet deposit they have here.

Thursday, December 31, 1992

Well, here we are on the last day of 1992. What will 1993 hold for me, I wonder?

Yesterday was a good day. I still wish Dennis wasn’t moving but he sure gave me some very nice stuff I could use. He gave me a round glass shelf stand similar to one I once had back east. It’s about 6 feet high and it’s a solid iron stand that is olive-colored. There are 4 glass shelves. It goes out in 4 directions and forms a peak at the very top. I put stuffed animals up there as well as on the glass shelves. I also took some other knickknacks and the few videos I have and put them on them.

He also gave me a step ladder stool similar to my old one. A sturdy small table I’ve put my typewriter on and a tiny square thing to sit on while I type. Also, the perfect TV stand I’ve been dying for. On top are my TV and VCR. The bottom has a slanted shelf, which is normally for videos, CDs or cassettes, but I’ve put journals 1-34 on it. It’s much sturdier than my thin plastic shelves. I removed the shelf where I put my little table and typewriter and I put it in my closet with my underwear folded on it and my socks underneath it. I was able to do this as Dennis also gave me a shoe rack. I save more space by putting my shoes on it and hanging them on back of my bathroom door.

I rearranged other stuff, too. I moved the speaker that was in a corner and put it by the bathroom door, which is very close to the bedroom. I now turn this speaker on at night instead of my clock radio. I shut off the other speaker by my door and my box too, at night. Or whenever I’m sleeping.

I slept well. I slept from 4:30 to a little after midnight, then got up and did Andy’s laundry. I chatted with Dan, the security guard too, and we went to my mailbox together. I got all junk.

Dennis told me to call Susie and Brian tomorrow cuz there will be more stuff no one else will want. He gave Andy a nice chair and a big world map.

While I was figuring out how to rearrange everything which took time, Andy went to the store and picked me up some water, TV dinners and munchies. I have no cash till my check comes. I hope Susie or Brian have some cigarettes they can spare.

In journal 32 I had accidentally skipped a page and Kara wrote on it. She wrote: He’s not my boyfriend, he’s just somebody I’m sleeping with. I, Kara, came over this morning with a pack of cigs. What’s a P.J. Paul, I’m going into the kitchen to get a knife and I’m going to come and get you. Well, I haven’t heard from Brian since the last time, which was almost 2 weeks ago. From now on he’s going to be a closed chapter in my life and the only time it is going to open is when he calls so I can bitch him out. There are just 2 words lying under the carpet. And they can’t put you in bucks for 400 jail. I’m so glad you’re my friend. Officer S is here with me. And boy is she pretty. Talk more later. Bye-bye.

Later...

Last night I began 1 of my 40-page stories. It’ll definitely need way more than 40 pages, but I can always carry it into another journal. It’s going well and I’ve already done 20 pages. I type up the rough draft, copy it in, then send the rough draft to Fran. I’m typing the rough draft on that pad of colored paper Mary bought me. Kara, who was over for a while yesterday read what I’ve written so far and really liked it. Kara’s one of the few people like Andy and I where you can share your fantasies with her and just about everything and she won’t freak out.

I don’t know if Mary and I will ever do this as I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but we came up with an idea. The idea is that she pays the pet deposit in my name, gets a cat and makes sure it works out (I told her how horrible the last two cats were). It can spend time up here when she’s not around or when the office people are around. It can stay with her when I’m asleep or not here.

I’ll write more later, but I really need a shower and some food. Current Location: Arizona

0 notes

the-firebird69 · 4 months ago

Text

Lowenbrau Beer [01] TV commercial - 1981

youtube

He's also vanillee yup from Millie vanillee my sister took over knows it. He sang this has all his markers.

Garth

It's him verifiable. Says his brother owes him money ok lol.

Mac daddy

Shut up but ok lol twenty usd he's out I get it need it now

Kamala good ok haha the boys BG has a story

I'm sitting there watching them come up with a jingle you can see in a few things and he's saying a few lines and all sudden you got it because I'm ready and I wasn't really helping that much but I was amazed I'm in the backseat with him and it's very weird it's kind of like crammed in some kind of limo the way to talking and driving us around we're having a blast and we're having a lot of fun just saying can you keep it down price no and they start to try and do it like you're driving and you're driving it was a lot of fun and we were drinking and we were intoxicated and I'm just leaving forward and it's like squeezing his throat and he sounded weird like a black guy and we know Dave was studying and he did it on purpose it sounds like Trump and I cannot believe how cool that turned out a lot of people start drinking that beer and the lyrics are unique and so unique people still seeing it and he wants they sing it and he wants people to buy it and to have a decent time it's a good beer okay it isn't as good as Heineken no it's better because Heineken is an IPA and it's so bitter that you can only drink a few and you are destroying whatever is in your gut bouncing things off and it doesn't help like it used to and he says you're always supposed to drink like one with dinner and I get that or you start getting stomach cramps but not low and brown you can drink a case of it it goes down easy and it stays down and we were hammered and we were drinking some loaf and Raul and he liked it a lot so he came up with this cuz he was happy and cheery and his cheeks were red. Used to do all sorts of fun things and it was him Chris. And he used to come up and say listen listen and it was hard cuz like usually you we weren't listening that much and he come in like hug us and we're like hugging each other he's going to listen and he's talking about girls he's going to get around talking to people getting dirt and then he come around and tell us. He was a barrel of laughs okay and he likes to have fun still and he's like ignoring people and probably having a lowenbrau

Joey aka bg

And he was Joey fettering too but he was actually Jose Gaspar that day well BG and does Joey he's like this head party and he used to tell people you know bring this and do this and he had rules and it really made party it's nicer and I tell you what if he's slightly better setting not like kids of people we would be having like nice treats and all sorts of things to eat and decent you know really nice drinks and it wouldn't be strict but it wouldn't be a fight and it wouldn't be a mess and breaking things and he didn't like that but he had a lot of fun and we had a lot of fun and and he had ways out of stuff it wasn't going to hold it against you that you get sick since I told him once I said I couldn't find it cuz I drank too much vodka and it always makes me sick and it's not that I drank a ton of it but they said I drank a lot but hey so I pull over and I like Chuck the whole thing up and he's going to feel better it goes good we got alone and he said that I said the vodka doesn't agree with me and it really doesn't and he know it that's about to be really five sheets to the wind it's too much but I ended up just standing there which is really not good and I overdid it and I did that not that many times it feels like I do it a lot but there's only maybe 10 or so times and their reasons and they start to figure out what it was and looked into it and they got in trouble but yeah Joey fetterman was always been the head partier when he was around and he's organizing things and I used to always bring him news I'll come at the BG and just start talking about all sorts of fun stuff funny things people are doing and we can go over and play games and stuff go with Joey I'd say these people are here now and stuff like that and they're asking for this and yeah he connects people and it wasn't really that negative and I was growing up and it's like the Mormons but it really it was not really that right but it was kind of like learning what it's like and I understand it too it's about freedom to do that kind of thing it's not be hassled and it's the way they want to live and I think it's a little bit wrong but they live for those moments there's a little different culture House brought up different I guess but I was having a blast

Zues

I don't think it was funny but you were kind of funny when you're doing it a lot of people had fun but it kind of making fun of you a little and how you walked and your pants and stuff who are these jeans that are kind of tight and I can see your butt and the girls liked it and they kept seeing it and they get mad and they start making fun of you and the girls try to grab your butt one girl was coming right at you from behind and another girl intercepted her and they got to fight and they're like screaming they turn around and said what the hell's going on here and they said nothing and the smiley and you said there's plenty of me to go around just calm down and relax and let it work and the same s*** like that so they're like smiling really widely can start to like warm up and stuff and they got ushered away so it made them addictive addicted and you didn't know what they're doing you know looking into it is Joey and he said this girl is trying to grab his butt and that was watching him and Caesar in time to intercept and we think no one's watching and he is I got people all over my assthere's a joke going around and the girls got upset so they decided okay well date him and we'll do some stupid s*** to them and they kept trying and trying some people thought the girl was me so I had these conspiracies going some of them are kind of nasty but most of it and we were doing things I found out they were adding things to it but really they had a quite a thing for him at party City used to wear a leather jacket or a denim jacket and he looked like some kind of ruffian even though people looks like worse kind of and he had these rock and roll shirts and he was in shape his muscles are the same size but he was smaller so it looks like he had big muscles so people respected him for it and the girls are hot for it and I had a good time watching and I got mad a lot and he stopped doing it and said I'm wrong and I have to get in my studies and have to get to work and I know he was saying and he took it seriously and he had a lot of trouble people kept trying to do that too and he's doing it for me and he says I saved his life cuz he'd fall off and you think about me and think about the plan and our people but you can't leave abandon me and I get that it's been a long time since I heard it no but it is true and I didn't talk to him or say things in space and it's true too cuz you say it if you're caught doing it and so forth all the time they have me talk and I'm wondering what that death Star isn't that or if it's threatening to aim it and what can we stop it

Hera

Oh God this is terrible

Trump

Yeah we're trying to touch his butt no we know who it was she's still around and it's not Becca oddly enough and that Lady Gaga strange it may seem it's not me Tricia and it's not terrible barnhart or Carol Berman and he's got a big list I guess the girls are trying to do that and he says yeah they're trying to do that a little didn't seem like a lot and it was a lot we were trying to do it to other people too though LOL it's funny because he says you're kind of matched up with someone and then you go all over the place it did not work that great and it was a madhouse. I'll tell you what we have a lot of fun doing stuff like that and yeah that's kind of why we're like we are we want people to tell us what to do so I see you and Jen and you just together and she doesn't cheat and you don't and you hang out for quite a while long long hours and I'll tell you what we can't really do that that much we could back then no and he says you're full of crap and I am cuz we sat at home watching TV or in the garden playing around doing work and that's what it's like but really it was very unique and I'm going to try and get some Lowenbrau

Tricia

We have to get some work done yes

Olympus

#Youtube

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wack-ashimself · 2 years ago

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Got to vent about the X-files. Would not read i a die hard fan...

It is overreacted. Sure maybe cuz I am watching it 20 years after the fact but….ugh.

I like it. It is like twilight zone in the 90s. But there is SO MUCH FUCKING WASTED TIME. HOURS over the years that add up to…waiting for them to do something.

No joke, I have gotten so used to their predictable (made for tv commercials) format, until the last ½ of the show, I can just have it playing in the background, listening, and I won’t miss anything important because the dialogue is almost the ONLY important aspect.

The special effects are cheap. ESPCIALLY the first couple seasons. The make up looked like it was done by high schoolers. You could see the glue, the bad fade between colors, etc. So watching for a monster scare usually ain’t fucking worth it.

And that’s ALL this show is: jump scares. I only keep watching cuz the plots/storylines are USUALLY solid. But to get there is 90%: looking at something, walking thru something, driving to something, slowly turning a corner at something, etc. It’s all hold your breath and either something scary or something that is NOTHING happen.

The acting is just one step (one TINY step) above a soap opera. I have no fucking idea how david D got and kept this job (kidding-he became a producer & writer. That’s how many of them keep this shit show going. Also found that’s why he left for so long-he wasn’t getting paid for also writing he claims). But after he leaves, it actually gets fucking worse! No joke, because of how bad everyone is after mulder leaves, not only are season 8 and 9 so far the worst things this show has EVER produced (so many plot holes and bad logics almost BREAK this series’ heart), but…I actually want him back? Ew. But the show was better when it was mulder and scully. Not fucking t2 bad guy & some mulder lady wanna be, with scully checking in for the paycheck.

I just have a rule when it comes to this shit. Most tv shows before digital were written explicitly to get 100 episodes (can’t get good rerun money till 100 is hit), keep people invested and watching (even if NOTHING is fucking happening) and always hit that 44:44 run time. So subtract anything that makes you go over and put in filler (ANY) to get to that time. Put in filler they did. I would say 1/5 of each episode is. And….hold your breath moment/traveling moments/investigating moments when ALL they are doing is looking around IS NOT WRITING, IS NOT INTERESTING, and is fucking lazy. HOW this show won awards is beyond me. Maybe cuz I watched it well after it aired but…this feels like the bare minimum of quality, not the max. I guess they didn’t have much competition in the 90s…

I will finish the series, and I don’t regret watching it. There are enough episodes with twists, turns, and I didn’t see that comings to make it worthwhile. The bare minimum I ask for is to be surprised, and this show usually turns that out. But…seasons 8 & 9 (ain’t looking forward to 10 & 11, tho I know mulder does come back) are what I would feel if someone was given all the past lore of the x-files, forced to use 2 new characters that…have no real depth, and said ‘make it as good as it was before.’ NO. You are giving me nothing to work with besides a budget; you ain’t giving me time or more writers. Ugh.

Twilight zone was way better tho. Their Special effects (for the time) were ASTOUNDING. And to this day (like x-files, I will admit) there are clear as day shows/movies totally stolen from these series. In the first….3-4 seasons of the x-files, swear to god there were at least….5 movies that I KNOW were heavily influenced if not outright stolen from the x-files. Nothing is original. Cuz a lot of these x-files were, go figured, based on the twilight zone. THAT is a series I need to watch in full. But I think they had even more episodes than x files….

Either way: X-files is solid sci fi, but with so much filler, and it going to shit after season 7, they honestly should have let it die…

I just want a sci fi/horror/thriller not to be majority hold your breath moments. They’re way too fucking easy, predictable (either something happens or nothing happens. Ain’t no fence on this one), and rarely add. I mean, seriously, how long are jump scares going to be scary? Especially when you see them coming…fuck it. Now I want to do the opposite: make a movie consisting ONLY of jump scares. But I heard that’s the conjuring so….

#xfiles #the x-files #mulder #scully

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nyankodanyan · 2 years ago

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A smoking scandal before Onyanko Club

Takabe Tomoko claimed that the cigarette wasn't lit, but who would believe such a thing after seeing this photo?

Enlarged photo of smoking.

Another smoking photo.

Takabe played a flamboyant and crazy delinquent girl in the drama, but apparently she was doing the same thing behind the scenes.

Public face as an idol.

In June 1983, the weekly magazine Focus published a photo of 15-year-old Takabe Tomoko, a popular idol at the time, naked in bed with a cigarette in her mouth.(Takabe) Takabe attracted a tremendous amount of attention when she played the role of a flamboyant and crazy delinquent girl in the TV drama "Tsumiki Kuzushi"(Collapsed Piles of Blocks) that aired from February to March 1983.(Site) The drama is based on a true story about the daughter of actor Hozumi Takanobu, and its final episode achieved a 45.3% viewership rating.(Asagei) This was the highest rating for a drama broadcast on commercial TV, and the record that has yet to be broken.(Asagei) In addition, as a member of the popular idol group "Warabe", Takabe appeared on the popular variety show "Kin-chan no Dokomade Yaruno!"("Kin-chan's Is There a Limit?") starring comedian Hagimoto Kinichi, and she was attracting nationwide attention.(Takabe) Therefore, the photo caused a huge scandal and gave the general public an extremely negative impression that the actual Takabe was doing the same thing behind the scenes as in the drama.(Site) She was forced to refrain from all of her entertainment activities for a year due to the scandal.(Takabe) Accordingly, she was kicked out of Hagimoto's program and Warabe.(Takabe) In the autumn of 1983, she was scheduled to star in the movie version of "Tsumiki Kuzushi" and the TV drama series "Sukeban Deka"(Delinquent Girl Detective), but of course both were cancelled.(Site) On the other hand, she somehow managed to avoid being expelled from Horikoshi High School, where a number of idols were enrolled, although the school gave her a long suspension.(Takabe)

Takabe was dating an 18-year-old boy who played an extra in the drama, but they apparently broke up.(Site) The boy first brought the photos to a TV station, but the station's upper management tried to cover up the existence of the photos.(Site) He therefore offered the photos to Focus, a weekly magazine that had nothing to do with the idol industry, but apparently he didn't demand any rewards because of his wealthy family background.(Focus p36-45) He was pissed off that Takabe stated publicly in a magazine that she was a virgin, even though she was only 15 years old but had plenty of experience with sex.(talk p7) Takabe herself subsequently claimed that the photos were taken only as a prank, that she had no sexual relations with him cuz he wasn't her true lover, and that the cigarette wasn't lit.(Takabe) However, no one believed such nonsense, and Takabe's false image as a pure and innocent idol completely collapsed.(Site) By the way, her enthusiastic fans including members of the biker gangs were furious at the boy's behavior and stalked him, along with the media, resulting in his suicide.(Site) Despite the scandal, she wasn't fired from her entertainment agency, Bond Planning, and she was able to return to show business after a year.(This agency also had Onyanko Club members Nitta Eri and Fukunaga Satomi, singers Honda Minako, Matsumoto Iyo, and Shōjo-tai.)(Takabe) Upon her return to show business, she published a book titled "Confession: I'm Sorry For Doing Things Halfway".(Takabe) However, because of the scandal, she never shined again as an idol.(Site) Concering the photo, a journalist from Focus magazine wrote that Takabe had "Nyan-Nyan" and then smoked a cigarette.(Focus p36-45) The term "Nyan-Nyan" is a euphemism for sex, and the journalist didn't wanna use the term "sex", so he used "Nyan-Nyan" as an alternative.(Focus p36-45) The fact that she was singing "Nyan-Nyan" in Warabe's hit song "Medaka no Kyōdai"(Siblings of Japanese rice fish), was naturally on the journalist's mind.(If the term "Nyan-Nyan" were translated literally into English, it would be "Meow-Meow".)(Focus p36-45) The scandal made Nyan-Nyan a buzzword, and the term was also used in the variety show "Yūyake Nyan Nyan" featuring Onyanko Club that was launched in April 1985.(Songs P198)

#Idol #Scandal #1980s

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sweet-villain · 2 years ago

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Just A Cold~ E.M

Author's Note : why thank you lovely, you make my day too. I just got over the flu so this was a great idea to request me <3

Anonymous asked:

I had this idea and I was wondering if you could write it?

Eddie comes home to you sleeping on the couch wrapped up in a ovwrsized blanket. You could do it cuz you were staying up for him, or you could do it where you are sick and fell asleep while watching cartoons and there is medicine and tea or soup on the table next to you.

Your blog is amazing and you make my day ✨️

@ceriseheaven

Eddie walks through the doors of the trailer, ready for you to greet him with a big hug and a kiss and when you don't appear, he frowns as his eyebrows scrunch up together in worry.

" Sweets?" he calls out to you. His eyes fall onto the bundle on the couch wrapped in blankets with only your head popped out. He takes notices of the many cups near the sink filled with tea bags and medicine on the counter. He sees from one bottle, some of it has dripped and spots the spoon that you used.

There a few napkins on the floor around you. He takes notices of the TV running on commercials, chuckling to himself knowing you had stayed up waiting for him watching cartoons.

Why didn't you call him to tell him you were sick? He would of came home earlier.

He shrugs off his boots as he makes his way over to you. He kneels down on the floor on his knees as he brings his hand towards your head to feel if you have a temperature.

" Oh baby.." he says feeling your head is very hot. " My poor baby.."

He picks up the tissues on the ground, not really caring if they had your snot on it or not. He carries them to the trash before putting the cups into the sink and he would wash them later.

He looks around the medicine you have been taking.

A sound of your sneeze causes him to look up at and notice you sit up to take another tissue from the box near the floor. You groan as you grip your head.

" Sweetheart" you hear your boyfriend voice causing you to pause from taking the napkin. Your head turns to where his voice came from seeing him standing there with his hair tied back in a low bun, with his overalls on. There is grease on them and on his cheek too.

" How was work?" you ask with a small groan as you pull the blankets up to your chin. " Work was fine, why didn't you call me to tell me you were sick, baby?"

You shrugged, another sneeze and another groan.

" I called Steve, he came to bring me medicine. He wore like these big glasses and bandana over his nose and gloves too when he came in-"

Eddie shook his head as he cuts you off, " You called Harrington instead of your boyfriend?" he pouts as he walks over to you and kneels besides you.

" 'm sorry Eds, but I didn't wanna bother you at work" you brought the blanket down that he can see your pout.

" It's okay, sweets. Next time if your feeling sick, you call me. I don't care where I am at or what I'm doing. You're my priority"

" I love you" you tell him, a small cough comes from you.

" Have you had any food? Drank anything?" he stand back up with his hands on his hips. " I had some crackers and juice" you sniffled, wiping away with the sleeve of your shirt.

" Why didn't you call Wayne? Im sure he would of came over to look after you"

" I didn't wanna bother him, he's done so much for me already" you laid back down. " I wanted you, my pretty boy" he pauses in his steps when he makes his way back to the kitchen, his cheeks going red at the compliment.

" I'm here now" he says offering you a smile.

" Aren't you going to shower?" you ask noticing he was still in his work clothes. He glances down and shakes his head, " You're more important to me right now. I need you fed, taken your medicine, check your temperature and I need you in bed."

"But-"

" Just let me take care of you, sweets"

" Okay, but I was I was going to say that I can't wait till the day I get to marry you, Munson" you cough as you groan, gripping your head.

He turns to the fridge as he opens it, getting the things he needed to make you something to eat.

" Soon, sweets" he notices that you had fallen back asleep. He looks towards his closed door hoping that the box he has hidden in his drawer is still hidden.

He was planning to marry you the day he met you. You were the love of his life.

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x female reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie x y/n #jewls writes

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nataliedanovelist · 4 years ago

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GF - Timestuck AU: The Power of Mabel ch.2

While fighting over a time machine so one twin can win a pig or the other can win the heart of a girl, Mabel is left stranded in a snowy forest with no time machine and no brother. Oops.

The BEAUTIFUL art pieces were done by @clownwry and @elishevart ! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 😭❤️💋

ch.1 - ch.3

~~~~~~~~~~

Ford was way more nervous than he was letting on.

She had long, pretty brown hair, braces over her teeth, sneakers, a skirt, and a sweater that allowed the cold air to pass through it. Her cheeks were slightly chubby with youth and nosy, as well as her nose, due to the freezing weather. Her eyes matched her hair perfectly, and though they were clouded with fear and confusion, Ford swore he could see sparkling behind the clouds, sparkling that made itself well-known when she asked if she could make him a sweater or when she saw his hands.

Ford would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy Mabel’s company, but she was practically a stranger, and keeping a random girl in his house that was located in the middle of the woods was fishy and Ford couldn’t help but feel like it was illegal. But he couldn’t leave her out in the snow and send her on her way to find her home and family, so he decided to keep her warm or healthy, simply because it was the right thing to do.

But then she said she had no parents to call. Only a brother, who was lost, too. Ford can remember the old rule: If you’re lost, stay where you are until you are found. So he then decided that she could stay here until her brother found her, which should be by morning at the latest.

Still, he felt uneasy, so once Mabel was settled in front of the TV, Ford excused himself and went into the kitchen to make a phone call. There was only one man who would have better judgement in this situation than him.

The phone rang a few times. Ford checked his watch to make sure it was a reasonable time to call. It wasn’t Sunday, was it? But then the ringing stopped. “Howdy! This here Fiddleford McGucket.”

“Hey there, buddy.” Ford smiled to himself at hearing that cheerful voice. “How have you been?”

“Stanford Pines! Good t’hear from ya!” Fiddleford cheered. “M’just fine, just fine! How are ya?! Ya haven’t gotten eaten by monsters yet, have ya?” He laughed, making his old friend chuckle along.

“No no, I’m alright.” Ford almost brought up the reason he called, but then he remembered something very important to Fiddleford. “How are Emma-May and Tater?”

“OH! They’re doin’ great! We’re all very happy n’ doin’ well! Ya won’t believe how big Tate’s gotten since ya last saw him! He’s already crawlin’!”

“Wow, that's great to hear.” Ford sat in a chair at the kitchen table. “Has he said his first words yet?”

“No, not quite. Actually, he’s extremely quiet. Not a lot of baby-babble.” Fiddleford chuckled. “The doctor says that’s perfectly normal. Tate’s so smart, he’s reachin’ for specific colors n’ such, n’ ya can tell he’s thinkin’ a lot n’ knows what’s goin’ on, he just got nothin’ t’say.”

“I was very shy when I was young.” Ford commented casually. He didn't feel like mentioning why. “If Tate is anything like either of his parents he’s very intelligent.”

“Oh, he’s so much like both of us it’s scary. Ya know Emma-May, so clever n’ quiet n’ such. Tate’s got all that. But he already looks so much like me! But he’s got his mama’s hair! N’ Santy Claus brought ‘im this fun little fishin’ game where ya fish for plastic fish with a pole with a magnet on it, n’ he loves it! I can’t wait to take ‘im fishin’ when he’s big enough! Ya really outta give yourself a break n’ come down for a visit, he’d move to see his Uncle Ford again.”

Ford’s face felt hot. “Perhaps. Spring is when a lot of anomalies are active and breeding, so i would prefer not to miss that, but maybe I could visit for a weekend before that…”

“Well, no pressure, I won’t assume anythang until ya tell me to, just know there’s always a bed for ya here.”

“Thank you, Fiddleford. The same for you and your family. The clean air will do everyone some good.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Fiddleford sighed happily and perked up. “So! Whatcha callin’ for? Not that I’m not happy just t’chat, but ya never call.”

Ford laughed and shrugged to himself. “I suppose I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“No need t’be sorry, Stanford, just wanna know what’s up.”

“Well, I was hoping to get your advice on something.”

“Shoot.”

“Um… well…” Ford rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how to tell him this. “I heard some unusual sounds outside today…”

“What kind of unusual sounds?”

“Cracks, like lightning. And some faint yelling.” Ford answered. “I thought it might be a tree branch or a new anomaly to catalogue, but when I opened the door a young girl was standing there in the snow with no coat.”

“Heavens! Is she alright?!”

“She’s okay, no frostbite. She was cold, but after sitting by the fire, drinking some hot chocolate, and changing into some dry clothes, she’s okay now.”

“Well, good.”

“So of course I brought her in. I tried to call her parents, she probably got lost playing…”

“Sure.”

“... but she says she doesn’t have any parents.”

“Oh.” Fiddleford sighed. “Oh. Now, wait, are ya sure she didn’t just say that so ya wouldn’t call?”

Ford chuckled and said, “I first thought that too, but she looked too sad to be lying.”

“Okay, I see. Does she got somebody ya can call?”

“She says she has a brother, but he was out there, too. So he is probably out there looking for her and therefore nowhere near a phone.”

“Fair enough, okay. So, I reckon y’all are waitin’ for him t’come ‘round.”

“Yup.”

“Well sounds to me like you’ve handled this all pretty well.” Fiddleford said confidently.

“You think so?” Ford asked. “I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like I’m missing something. Am I doing something wrong?”

“Nonsense, buddy, you’re doin’ great.” Fiddleford assured. “Look here, ya can’t just leave a young gurl out in the snow t’try t’find her way home...”

“I agree.”

“... so ya really got one option n’ that’s t’keep an eye on her n’ let her in as a guest. N’ ya tried t’call, but nothin’. The best thang ya can do right now is be there for this lil’lady n’ just be kind t’her. N’ if nobody comes for her by mornin’, why don’t ya go into town n’ see if anybody knows her, then they can help y’all out.”

Ford nodded, then remembered that his best friend couldn’t see it, so he said, “Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Thank you, Fiddleford.��

“You’re welcome. N’ hey, are ya okay?” He asked seriously.

“Yes, yes I’m okay. I just want to make sure I do this right.”

“O’course. I understand. Ya want me t’come down there n’ give a hand?”

“No, that’s not necessary. I’m sure Mabel will find her brother in the morning.”

“Mabel, huh? Well, if y’all don’t, please call me. N’ even if ya do find her brother, call me. Keep me updated.”

“I will. Thank you, Fiddleford.”

“Anytime, Stanford.”

~~~~~~~~~~

When Mr. Ford gave Mabel the remote for the old TV and went into the kitchen, she decided to use her awesome detective skills to figure out what year it was. If it was before Grunkle Stan lived here and opened the Mystery Shack, she must be pretty far back in time. But she had no way of knowing if it was 1999 or 2005 or the 50s.

The TV was old, but so was Grunkle Stan’s in her time. So Mr. Ford could have had this TV for a long time and didn’t want to replace it.

Okay, so when was the TV made? Mabel didn’t know. Dipper would have known.

Okay, Grunkle Stan mentioned watching TV when he was a kid once or twice. So at least Mabel was when Stan was a kid, okay.

Mabel turned the TV on and it was in color. Okay, so she wasn’t too far back in time. But the TV was playing a commercial for clear skin. The picture was gritty and all the people in it had puffy hair and long socks and oh my god was that woman wearing legwarmers?! Mabel grinned at seeing her favorite fashion on TV, but then her face dropped. When was she?

She tapped her chin and tried to think of how to know the date without being suspicious. She could ask Mr. Ford, but that might be suspicious. Mabel decided to start flicking through channels to try to guess what year she was in based on what was airing. A lot of shows were about cowboys, space, or game shows. Huh. Okay.

All the TV shows were definitely older. Nothing her dad would watch from when he was a kid, so if Mabel had to guess by everyone’s crazy air, the cheesy TV shows, and the music occasionally playing, she was in the 70s.

Huh. Okay. But she needed an exact year. So Mabel turned off the TV, saw an old radio on a desk, and turned it on to listen.

“... cuz it’s cold doesn’t mean you can't boogie, folks! So grab someone you wanna get warm with, turn up the music, and get your bodies warm in the coolest way possible! Here’s Night Fever, by the Bee Gees!”

Mabel grinned at the disco music. Her personal favorite song from these guys was More Than a Woman, but Night Fever would do. For a moment Mabel forgot her mission, jumped off the couch and left the blanket behind, and in the over-sized gray t-shirt Mr. Ford gave her while her clothes were drying, she danced along to the music, singing the chorus since those were the only words she knew.

“When you reach out for me. Yeah, and the feelin' is right,

Then I get night fever, night fever. We know how to do it! Gimme that night fever, night fever. We know how to show it!”

Mabel laughed at herself as she spun around in her socks and tried to do the point-and-hype dance she didn’t know the name to, but everyone did it when a disco song played.

Little did she know that Ford had returned to check on her, and was smiling at her as she shook her hips and waved her hair around and had fun. He leaned against the doorway and planned to let her dance in peace, but when she did a spin and saw him, she grinned and took his hand. “C’mon, Mr. Ford, come dance with me!”

Ford chuckled and shook his head. “No, no! I can’t dance!”

“You got two legs that aren’t broken?”

“Yes.”

“Then you can dance! C’mon!” Mabel encouraged, let him go when they were both in the middle of the room, and she started to dance again. “Don’t make me dance alone!” She even pulled an evil move and gave him puppy eyes. Rude.

Ford smiled slyly at her and hesitantly copied her boogie moves. It was true that Ford never liked to dance, but there was no one around but Mabel, and though he had only known her for an hour or more, he was sure she would never make fun of him.

And he was right.

“Wow! Look at you, Mr. I-Can’t-Dance! Yeah!” Mabel hopped on the couch, standing, and took Ford’s hand. “Here, I’ll spin you!”

Ford laughed and allowed it, doing a single spin, but then scooping her in his arms to dip her and then let her down, making her laugh as they continued to dance.

“Alright alright, you crazy cats, that was Night Fever by the Bee Gees! It's a snowy day here in the heart of Oregon, with snow flurries coming in harder all night, but it should clear up by morning and be a fun day to go out and play! The date is January 26th, 1978 in case you gotta write a check or mail a thank you note to a friend or family member. I’m still writing letters for Christmas! We’ll be right back with some of your favorites after a word or two from our sponsors, so don’t go anywhere!”

Mabel stared at the radio. “Wow, 1978.” She breathed. Her parents were only kids right now, maybe only six or seven-years-old. Wow.

Ford chuckled. “I know, I’m still in the bad habit of writing ‘77.”

Mabel realized her mistake, but was grateful her host misunderstood her. “Me too.”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for dinner. How about some ramen noodles?”

“Yes, please! Can we play a game after we eat?”

“Sure. I don’t have many board games, but I do have a deck of cards.”

“Do you know any card tricks?!”

“A few.” Ford admitted, wiggling his fingers. “There are some advantages to having more fingers than average.”

Mabel grinned up at him and followed him to the kitchen for dinner.

#GF #fanfiction #gravity falls #gravity falls au #timestuck au #ford and mabel bonding #Fiddleford McGucket #dancing #night fever #snow day

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bitchesgetriches · 3 years ago

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Hello, Bitches! I have a Discover credit card (all thanks to you guys btw!) and recently got an email from them saying I've been a very good credit noodle and now qualify for a fixed-rate loan. The timing is fortuitous cuz I am in desperate need of a (cheap used) car but the US Dept of Education and Existing in 2008 have made me very, very afraid of loans. But a fixed-rate loan sounds like a good thing? Is it a good thing? Or a spooky financial predator thing? Should I just wait until I have more real money to buy a car? Halp (please).

We got you, little bean! Here are a few things you should know.

First, a fixed-rate loan is the ONLY kind of loan you should ever get. The opposite is a variable interest rate loan, which means that the interest rate could fluctuate, going up and down over time. A lot of the people who lost their homes in the subprime mortgage crisis of 2008 were locked into variable interest rate loans. When you get a loan, you should agree to a fixed interest rate, not a variable interest rate. You can always refinance later, but you want a change in interest rate to be at YOUR whims... not the bank's.

Now, let's talk about one of the Supreme Rules of Rich Bitches: never take what's offered without shopping around. You're going to get emails, snail mails, and calls your whole life telling you "We've approved you for this special offer you didn't ask for!!!" These are advertisements. When you watch TV, do you see a commercial for a Thneed and immediately go "Hey, I need a thneed"?

If you get an "offer" like this, consider it just as you would a commercial. They want you to use their product (in this case, a loan) because it benefits THEM financially.

If you need a loan for a car, that's perfectly fine. Just shop around for said loan! Don't accept the first one that lands in your lap. You could find much better terms elsewhere.

And last but not least: we don't consider it realistic for everyone to save up 100% of the cost of a car. Auto loans are ok. Here's more advice:

Buying a Car with the Bitches, Part 1: How to Choose Your Car

Buying a Car with the Bitches, Part 2: How to Pay for Your Car

How To Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

Dafuq Is a Down Payment? And Why Do You Need One to Buy Stuff?

#buying a car #loans #fixed rate loan

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n00dl3gal · 4 years ago

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Like Old Times (Father-Son Bonding AU)

A direct sequel to the “Expiration Date” fic, which I’ll link in a reblog. I’ve also posted all my fics in this AU to AO3!! Thanks again to @thetriggeredhappy for their help and just generally being a cool dude, and the Scoutsune Discord server for indulging my brainrot

No warnings beyond family schmoop!

Less than an hour after the bread monster incident, the Administrator called for a ceasefire. “Only while your base is repaired,” she said over the TV screen. “BLU is quite disappointed in this negligence- as am I. Regardless, you may use these three days as you see fit. Go home, stay here- whatever you do, no more bread monsters.” The screen turned off with a click.

Scout exhaled through his nose. He was thankful there was no mention of him or Miss Pauling’s woodchipper.

Spy decloaked behind him. “Less time than I wanted, but c’est la vie.” Scout looked at him over his shoulder. “I’m meeting with an old contact during our break,” Spy said in Italian. “Would you like to come along? It’ll be like old times.”

Scout’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. At least this way, he’d get out of helping Engie and Heavy with repairs. And possibly meeting Miss Pauling’s woodchipper.

“Excellent. Our flight is at 7 AM tomorrow.”

“We’re flying commercial?” Scout asked, also in (more hesitant) Italian.

“Our destination is continental. We’ll leave the base by 5:30.” Scout groaned as Spy started to leave. But- wait, he hadn’t-

“Oi, where are we going, anyway?” he called back in English.

Spy paused to look at him and smile. “Boston.”

“Why do we always get the ass-crack-of-dawn flights?” Jeremy asked groggily, reclining his seat.

“They are the ones with first-class seats available,” Raphael replied. He took a sip from his mimosa.

“Yeah, cuz God forbid you fly coach for once.” Jeremy shifted, trying to get comfortable. “Hey. Have I ever been to Boston before?”

Raphael didn’t answer immediately. His lip sucked in, as if in thought. “Yes. When you were very, very young. You wouldn’t remember.”

Jeremy nodded. He wanted to ask more, there was something Raphael wasn’t saying but… well, he was never a morning person. He fell asleep before the plane even took off.

. . .

It was mid-afternoon by the time they landed in Boston. Jeremy was never fond of long flights; having his legs cramped like that for extended periods of time was murder. He was half tempted to take a jog around Logan International. Raphael, on the other hand, was ushering them both to the car rental. “Can’t even get a stretch in, huh?”

“Unfortunately, we are expected by 4, and I would hate to keep my contact waiting,” Raphael explained in French, accepting the keys from the girl at the counter. “She’s not a very patient woman, in some regards.”

Jeremy huffed but didn’t argue. He just followed his father to the rental, tossing his suitcase in the backseat. “Y’know, the girl at the counter-”

“We will not have time for you to go out on a date, Jeremy.”

“No! No, it was- her accent’s kinda like mine, it’s weird,” Jeremy said. Raphael started the car. “Cuz I’ve only been here as a baby, and I got mine from TV and shit. It’s just… really strange, is all.”

Raphael made a quiet noise of agreement. “Some of the shows you watched as a child were filmed here. It’s not as complex as you think it is.”

“Yeah, probably not…”

The pair lapsed into silence as Raphael drove. Storefronts and high rises morphed into houses. It had been a while since they were in a residential area. RED, for understandable reasons, kept away from civilians.

Raphael took the roads with practiced experience. Sure, it had been implied he knew the area. If he had a contact here- one with a house, presumably- he must’ve spent time here. But this- this was far too familiar. A bit suspicious, actually.

Eventually, Raphael slowed in front of a more rundown Brownstone. Still quite nice, just needed a little work. It felt… welcoming, in a way Jeremy couldn’t name.

“Lotta cars,” he observed as Raphael parallel parked. “Must be a party going on somewhere.”

“Hmm, perhaps,” Raphael said, turning the car off. “Would you mind ringing the doorbell for me? I need to grab something from the trunk. Ask for Sara Jane.”

OK, now Jeremy knew something was up. He was never the one to make the first contact, that was always Dad’s job. Jeremy might be a full-grown adult, but there were some things that didn’t change. This was one of them.

Still, he nodded. He climbed up the front steps and ringed the doorbell. He heard- multiple voices from inside, predominantly male, but they quickly silenced themselves. A TV, perhaps? They really ought to get that flower box on the second story window fixed-

The woman who opened the door was a bit shorter than him, though not by much. She was wearing a simple dress, hoop earrings, and flats. Her hair was dark, curved to her chin. But her nose and earlobes felt… achingly familiar. Like Jeremy saw them all the time.

“Um, hi, I’m looking for Sara Jane? My name’s-” The rest of his speech was knocked out of him as the woman launched herself at him. Jeremy braced for an attack, but quickly realized she was… hugging him.

She was hugging him, sobbing, and choked out the word “Jeremy.”

Wait. He knew that voice. He had only heard it a few times in his life, few enough he could count them on one hand, but he knew it. “M-Ma?” he whispered.

The woman- Sara Jane- Ma looked up at him, still crying. Her hands found his face as she observed him. “Y-yeah, sweetie, it’s me, it’s-it’s your ma,” she said.

“Ma!” he laughed, tears of his own dancing down his cheeks. He hugged her back, practically lifting her off her feet. “Oh my God, Ma! I-I never thought I’d-”

“Oh Jeremy, sweetie, look how tall you’ve gotten! Last I saw you, you fit in my arms! My baby, my handsome baby,” she spoke over him. She rubbed circles into his back as they embraced. It felt so, so right.

Jeremy laughed even harder. “Are you kiddin’? I got it from you, you’re beautiful, Ma!” He stared at her, trying to commit every mole and wrinkle and perfect flaw to memory. “I can’t believe- oh my God, I’m actually meeting you!”

“It was long overdue,” another voice said, as Raphael joined them on the front stoop. “I had put it off for safety reasons, but considering our current, ah, situation… I felt it was worth the risk.”

Sara Jane squealed, pulling Raphael into the hug as well. “You’ve been taking good care of my boy, you promise me, Raphael?”

“Don’t worry Ma, he’s the best dad I could ask for, considering,” Jeremy teased.

“Oh, don’t I know it. Called me up last night and told me to get the whole motley crew together. Even managed to get Melvin to bring his twin daughters, bless his wife’s heart,” she explained.

Jeremy blinked. “Uh- Melvin? Daughters?”

Sara Jane laughed. It sounded so much like Jeremy’s it practically hurt. This was his mother. Lord, he’s finally seeing her. “Melvin’s your older brother, sweetie. Eh, sixth oldest. Bobby’s the oldest.”

“I have a brother?”

“Oh honey, you’re the youngest of eight,” Sara Jane said plainly.

“...fuck,” Jeremy whispered.

. . .

He didn’t just have seven brothers. He had seven brothers, four of which brought their wives, one who brought his boyfriend, and three who brought their kids. And the kids totaled to an additional six, counting the babies.

It was… an admittedly tight squeeze in the living room.

Sara Jane introduced Jeremy. Jeremy had been expecting to be treated like a stranger. He had vanished when he was a baby, after all, and his younger-older brothers probably wouldn’t remember him at all.

And yet, it was like he knew them all his life.

They teased him and punched him playfully and acted so friendly, so familial it nearly made Jeremy break down. He was still crying from meeting Ma, but being dogpiled with so much affection was suffocating. In a good way. He had seen on sitcoms the intrinsic bond between family, and while he felt it with Dad, they also risked their lives nearly daily. But it was real, it was here, and it was wrapping him in a warm blanket.

Despite the chaos and the sheer number of people, Jeremy didn’t feel overwhelmed. He laughed and played along with their jokes, cracking some back when he could get a word in. Scott ragged on his dog tags, he countered by pointing out the hole in his pants. Michael told him he was still a shortass, he replied with “it takes one to know one.” Elliot and Ricky were the closest to actually getting hurt, and that was only because Jeremy elbowed them both so hard they nearly fell over.

For the first time in 25 years, Jeremy understood what “home” meant.

The kids were especially curious, eager to meet their uncle and step-grandfather. Within seconds, young Rebecca- only four years old- was challenging Jeremy to a race around the house. “I’m the fastest kid in the world,” she bragged, puffing out her chest.

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy asked. “That a fact?”

“You wanna test me? I beat Johnny Three-Legs at running, and he’s got three legs!” Jeremy laughed and stood from the couch, letting her lead him outside. “On the count of three, OK?”

“You’re on, pipsqueak,” Jeremy teased.

“Onetwothree GO!” Rebecca yelled, taking off in a sprint. Jeremy knew that, by all accounts, he should beat her. His legs were longer, she didn’t have the proper running stance, and it was his job to be fast. That’s what he got paid to do. But some small voice was telling him to let her win, so he did. “Ha! I told ya!”

“Ya sure did,” he replied, mock panting. “Look at you, a freaking blur on the green. You’re goin’ to the Olympics, kid.”

Rebecca beamed and hugged his leg. “Promise, Uncle Jeremy?” He nodded because, after that display, there was no way he could speak without squeaking like a chew toy.

Rebecca skipped back inside, past Raphael, who was watching on the stoop. “You’re a natural with children,” he observed. “I used to do the same thing when you were that age.”

“Wait- wait, really? You sure fooled me,” Jeremy said.

Raphael rolled his eyes. “What’s my job again, mon lapin?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jeremy leaned against the railing, watching Raphael’s cigarette smoke in the wind. “Hey. Uh… thanks for arranging all of this. You really didn’t need to.”

“But I did. I meant it when I said this was overdue. I’ve been wanting to introduce you to the rest of the family for a while, but have been unable. Then that whole ordeal with the supposed tumors, and-” Raphael exhaled slowly. “It wouldn’t have been fair to you if you died without knowing them. I would’ve never forgiven myself.”

Jeremy punched his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, pops. It all worked out, we’re still kicking, and that roast chicken Ma’s making smells incredible. Everything’s perfect.”

Raphael finished his cigarette and smiled. “Oui. It is.”

. . .

While Sara Jane had been able to get the rest of the family here, it was a school night. Kids needed to be tucked in by 9:30, so most of Jeremy’s brothers were gone by 8. Elliot was staying overnight, as was his boyfriend. Otherwise, the house quickly went from bustling to barren.

It gave Jeremy a chance to explore his would-be childhood home.

He made his way upstairs, pushing open one of the doors. It led- to little surprise- to a bedroom. It was set up like a nursery, with a crib in one corner and a toddler bed in the other. Toys were scattered about across the floor.

He heard Sara Jane sigh behind him. “This was your room, you know.” Jeremy turned to look at her as she flipped the light switch. “That crib… I had put you to bed the night your father planned to fake his death. I was in on the whole plan, naturally. He wanted to hold you one last time, so I said OK. When I woke up the next morning… you were both gone.” She exhaled slowly, grabbing onto his shoulder. “I wrote both of you off as dead, but I knew what had happened. Honestly, should’ve figured it out before then. You hadn’t woken me up crying,” she joked. Her eyes were watering.

Jeremy hugged her, pulling her close. “You never took the crib down?”

“By the time I was ready, Bobby’s wife was pregnant, so I kept it up for my grandbabies. I knew- I knew you were out there, sweetie. Both of you.” She kissed his cheek, squeezing him.

“I-I never got to be a normal kid, really,” he confessed. “I mean, Dad did his best, gave me comic books and board games and stuff, but-but I never went to school or made friends or anything like that. I-I didn’t even know I had a family. It took me forever to even realize I had a Ma. An-and everything I did-” The tears were flowing again, more freely than earlier. “Ya missed me losing my first tooth, and potty trainin’, and all that stuff parents should know about. I-I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Sara Jane wiped his cheek dry. “Don’t apologize for what your father did, Jeremy. And definitely don’t apologize for me not potty training another kid. Besides… hold on, I’ll be right back.” She made her way down the hallway. Jeremy didn’t follow, instead deciding to examine the crib. This was where he grew up. It was a simple crib, obviously well-used. Not worn-down, mind, just… used. It had a history. A history that Jeremy wanted to decode, but unlike his dad’s ciphers, he didn’t have the key.

“Took me a second to find it,” Sara Jane said. She handed him what appeared to be a scrapbook. “Raphael- he wrote when he can. Taught me some basic codes, would send out letters whenever you’d leave a town. Never left a return address, but…” Jeremy flipped through the pages, moving to sit on the small bed. The letters were all coded but appeared to be about how much Raphael missed Sara Jane. Updates on Jeremy’s growth. Letters from a father to his lover and son’s mother.

One page jumped out to him, though. “I remember this,” he said, running his fingers against the paper. It was a simple drawing of a young boy, holding a catcher’s mitt, and a taller man next to him. “I drew this after Dad took me to my first baseball game, for my eighth birthday. I thought I lost the drawing after we skipped town, but- he sent them to you?”

Sara Jane nodded. “And I kept them all. Oh, honey, the day I first heard your voice on the phone- Mikey can tell you, I damn near fell over. You sounded so happy, and even if I couldn’t see you, that’s all a mother wants.” Jeremy leaned against her and she shut the book. “That’s all a mother wants, sweetie. To see her kids be safe and happy.”

“I am, Ma,” he assured her. “I promise.”

They sat like that for a while, with Sara Jane commenting on various letters and drawings in the scrapbook. Apparently, Raphael sent her money when he could- more frequently now that Mann Co. paid so well. She also had a rough idea of their current occupations. “I figure, if you and your father are working for the same company- with his skills, there’s gotta be a whole lot of nonsense going on out in that desert.” Jeremy laughed at that because she wasn’t wrong. “But I also figure since he raised you right, he’ll keep the both of you safe.”

“I keep him safe too, don’t worry,” Jeremy added. “Uh- listen, it’s touching and all you kept the crib, but I don’t have to sleep in it, right?”

They both had a good chuckle over that. Their laughs were in perfect harmony.

. . .

The next two days were a mix of learning the family history and exploring Boston. It was the offseason, so there weren’t any games going on at Fenway, but Jeremy still got a picture in front of the park. Sara Jane took the pair to a restaurant that served “the best damn clam chowder in the contiguous United States.” Which, incidentally, led them to discover Jeremy was allergic to clams. Thankfully they didn’t have to go to the hospital- he just sort of immediately got sick before it passed- but it did suck.

It was damn good chowder, though.

They went down to the harbor where the Boston Tea Party happened. It was crowded with people, resulting in them not staying long. Jeremy was a bit better with crowds than Raphael, but neither was great with them. Came with the job. Getting overpriced memorabilia from a nearby gift shop, though, went over much more smoothly.

When not out on the town, Sara Jane dug out more scrapbooks and photo albums, catching Raphael up on what his stepsons had been up to. She showed Jeremy pictures from Ricky’s first school play to Scott opening up his butcher shop. Graduation pictures, wedding pictures, baby pictures- it was all there, and Jeremy devoured it. He wanted to know these people. He wanted to know his family. And he did. He learned about Michael’s stint in the Navy, Melvin meeting his wife, how Bobby’s son could dribble a basketball for twenty minutes straight. He learned about how his parents met. How Raphael loved each of Sara Jane’s children, even if they weren’t biologically his. How Jeremy wasn’t planned- few of the kids were - but they were both so, so happy to realize he was coming.

He also learned that, while diner food would remain the undisputed king, homemade meatloaf came pretty close.

. . .

The only problem came when it was time to leave. It wasn’t that Jeremy didn’t want to return to work, or leave his Ma behind. Sara Jane wasn’t even torn up over losing her son and lover again. It just felt like there was so much left to say, to do. There was uncertainty as to when they’d be able to return. “We get time off for Smissmas, I know that’s months away but I’ll be here, I promise,” Jeremy swore, hugging Sara Jane for the eighth time.

“You better,” she said, squeezing him tightly. “You have 25 years worth of gifts to catch up on, not to mention birthday gifts-”

“Ma, you don’t have to go that far,” he whined. He was touched, sure, but the thought of that much luggage was truly frightening. Oh God, he was going to have to get gifts for everybody, wasn’t he? What do kids even want for Smissmas?

“Hush, let me spoil my baby,” Sara Jane told him, kissing his cheek. “Oh, Jeremy…”

Jeremy nodded. “I know, but I’ll call. I’ll write, too. Send pictures if I can.”

“I’ll make sure he does,” Raphael assured her. Sara Jane stood to kiss his lips, with Jeremy looking away pointedly. “You have my word, ma petite chou-fleur.”

“Alright, alright- now get going, I don’t want you two missing your flight. That boss of yours sounds like she’ll tear you both a new one if you’re late,” Sara Jane said, shooing them away. “Love you boys!”

“I love you too, Ma!” Jeremy shouted back, for the very first time.

The drive back to the airport was quiet. Jeremy stared out the window, watching his hometown- he had a hometown- pass by. “Hey, dad?” he asked, still looking outside. Raphael grunted to acknowledge he was listening. “One of these days, our contracts with Mann Co. are gonna expire. We’re gonna have to find new jobs.”

“Yes, that’s correct,” Raphael said. He tapped a rhythm against the steering wheel.

“And-and I was thinking when that time comes… maybe we could come back to Boston. Find some gigs out here,” Jeremy suggested.

Raphael sighed. “Unfortunately, being a spy means that you don’t have the option of retiring, Jeremy. Not until you’re unable to complete your job. At that point, though, you’ve probably died a dozen times over,” he explained. “Even if I could retire, settling down somewhere so close to people I care about- I would still have enemies.”

“Right. ‘Course,” Jeremy said. “It’s OK.”

“That being said,” Raphael continued, “you have the luxury of youth and not being tied down to such a career. If you want to find a job in Boston after we finish with RED, there’s nothing stopping you.”

“But people will still be after me, since I’m your son. And you wouldn’t be around.”

“Every child leaves their parents someday. And you’re strong, Jeremy. You can protect yourself and your family.” Raphael smiled. “I don’t believe Sara Jane needs much protecting, but I do worry.”

Jeremy laughed. “I mean, did ya see the muscles on Scott and Michael? Guys can probably bench press a tractor!”

They both chuckled before settling into quietude. Eventually, though, Jeremy had to break the silence. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I love you.”

“I love you too, mon lapin.”

“...so your nickname for Ma is fucking ‘little cauliflower?’ What the hell, Dad?”

#father-son bonding au #Team Fortress 2 #team fortress 2 au #tf2 #tf2 fanfiction #tf2 scout #tf2 spy #tf2 scout's mom #dad spy #thetriggeredhappy #spy x scout's ma #noodle writes

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zapsoda · 2 years ago

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we were one of those no-spongebob-allowed kids and it was because our mom didn't want us to become stupid (except she used a slur instead LMAO) which like. makes no sense. spung bob is not going to destroy our intelligence. but we guess she was right but only when it comes to us specifically because we were one of those kids who mimicked EVERYTHING we saw on TV (EVERYTHING) so we saw one (1) spongebob commercial where he bangs his head on something so we were like hehe ^-^ and then tried to bash our head against the counter. we don't remember what happened after. maybe for a reason.

and then we got a superiority complex from it cuz like when we were 12 or whatever we'd see kids make spongebob references and we'd scoff at them because only IDIOTS made LOW CLASS spongebob references. we were an EDUCATED baby child we watched DOCUMENTARIES like ALL baby children should. maybe thats why the person you were talking about doesn't like spongebob maybe they have a superiority complex about it

so anyways thats one reason why. there's also the fear that spongebob is "inappropriate" mostly because of its cruder humor we guess? we mean we couldnt pick any specific examples for. obvious reasons.

anyways sorry for popping off 🌹 flower 4 u

omgg thank u for the flower 🌹

also dude. one of my irl friends wasnt allowed to watch spongebob as a kid and their mom cited the exact same fucking reason "bc it makes you stupid" isnt that crazy nuts. what a coincidence

this is a really good insight into the psyche of that one person in the notes of that post though maybe this was the case...

#i had a superiority complex about not watching most kids shows like fuckin arthur and whatnot #but spongebob and mlp were not included for whatever reason . see it was okay to watch those because i did #asks

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descendantofthesparrow · 4 years ago

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One-shot - Harry Hook x Reader - Colorless - soulmate au!

i made this cuz i was having minor writers block from rewrite and wanted to do a soulmate au oneshot. enjoy!

He had never believed it, the idea of soulmates. Someone who made in the stars just for him? That would love him no matter what? Someone he would love till the end of his life? Someone perfect to him in every which way?

Yeah right, he was not that dumb to believe something like that, villains didn’t get happy endings, or someone to love.

They didn’t need it, or deserve it.

His father's world had been black and white since he was born, he had been told that color erupted around him the first time he stepped onto a ship out on the open seas, but Harry wasn’t inclined to believe him after the 30th time he had asked what the color of something was and his father refused to answer.

Some days he looked out across the strait of Ursula to see Auradon, wondering if he did have a soulmate and if they lived there.

Somedays he dreamed of someone with a laugh that sounded like the soft bells you would hear in those Auradon commercials around the holidays, not the ones he would find that sounded like a little metal ball hitting against cheap plastic.

Sometimes he would dream that he was on a large great pirate ship, walking along the deck with someone as they sang a sea shanty with the most beautiful voice he had ever heard, he akined it to a siren that sang to sailors about their deepest loves and wishes.

Deep down he knew it was dreams of his soulmate, hinting to him so he could find them easier. But he had already convinced himself that he didn’t have one, so he did his best to ignore those dreams.

He never thought that he would be proved wrong.

When he kidnapped King Ben and informed Evie, Jay, and Carlos about the deal Uma wanted to make with Mal. He didn’t expect to look behind Carlos as see a flash of color in a pair of eyes he had sworn he had seen in his dreams.

He ignored it, turning and walking back to the crew and escorting King Ben back to the ship. It didn’t mean his mind wasn’t on those curious sparkling (e/c) eyes for the entire night.

The entire day leading to the trade for Ben, he saw flashes of (e/c) everywhere, a bead on Bonnie's bracelet, a cloth hanging from the clothing lines, a shimmer from the sea below the revenge.

He forced himself to think that it was a fluke, that those hypnotic eyes hadn’t been the ones belonging to the one that would be called his soulmate.

He threw that out the window when he was chasing after Ben and slammed into someone, his mind screamed at him to drop his weapons and catch them before they hurt themselves, he listened. His hook and sword clattered to the deck as he wrapped his arms around their waist and tugged them back on their feet.

Their colorless hair bounced a bit as they shook their head to clear their frazzled mind and looked up, Harrys breath stopped as the (e/c) eyes looked into his, the world now exploding into color.

Time froze as the two newly found soulmates started into each other's eyes, Harry's grip around their waist tightening as he started to look at them. Soft looking (h/l) (h/c) hair, blush tinted (s/c) decorated with (freckles, scars, beauty marks, whatever), (chapped, scarred, soft, plump, thin) lips agape as they stared back at him.

His soulmate…was everything the stories had said. They were perfect to him, truly made in the stars just for him.

As time resumed, Harry flinched a bit as he heard the frustrated screams of Uma and Mal. He looked up, gritting his teeth as the traitors and Ben backed up near the tunnel, calling out for someone's name.

(y/n)…that was his soulmate's name.

“Yeh have ta go” he whispered to them, releasing his grip on their waist and sliding it up to their shoulders, giving them a reassuring smile when they protested “we’ll see each other again, I promise…I’m Harry” they stopped, whispering their name back before grabbing one of his hands and pecking his palm, turning and running towards their friends, glancing back at Harry the entire time as the core four and Ben made their escape.

Harry gingerly picked up his weapons, starting at his reflection in his hook. So that’s what his mother meant when his eyes had reflected the colors of the sea. He hooked his hook on his belt and went to sheath his sword, watching as the red fabric he had tied to his sword handle fluttered in the wind.

He sighed, rolling his neck and watching as Uma stormed off, watching as her colored hair flew around her as she took the long way around the wharf to get to the other side of the tunnel. He had always told her that her hair was beautiful, but now he knew he had never lied.

He perked up as his soulmate walked on screen, wearing a crimson dress/suit with delicate details on the chest that reached down to their waist. His brow twitched as some of the crew booed at his soulmate and chucked food at the screen.

(i made three of these so be prepared)

He ignored them, keeping his eyes on his beautiful soulmate. Their sparkling (e/c)s looked straight at the camera, looking as if they hoped they could see him through the lens.

They looked away a moment later, tuning and walking onto the ship for cotillion.

Every time the camera panned over them during the main event, Harry felt his heart flutter, just wanting to hold them in his arms again.

When Uma turned into the giant cecaelia, the water from her emerging from the sea had destroyed the cameras, cutting off the crew from watching her take over, and Harry from seeing his soulmate.

He cursed to himself, wishing he had told Uma of (y/n) before she left Uma wouldn’t accidentally hurt her.

All he could do now was wait.

It was two years before he saw his soulmate again, only getting glimpses of them through a cruddy screen, but their eyes always seemed to shine through the fuzzy and fading tv.

He and Gil snuck up behind the unsuspecting core four, leaping through the closing gap of the barrier and for the first time, stepping outside of the prison they called home.

“We did it!” he and Gil hugged each other for a moment before remembering the vks next to them, who were staring at them bewildered and apprehensively.

“uh, hey guys~!” He sang, giving a small wave before turning to Gil and gesturing towards the other end of the bridge “we were just coming for a wee visit~!” and to see (y/n) but they didn’t need to know that.

As he and Gil tried to push past the core four, Carlos and Jay pushed them back, Harry growled a bit and shoved Carlos, the younger teen bumping back into Mal and making her drop the small blue crystal in her hand.

“hey-hey!!” as she ducked down to grab it, harry swiped down with his hook and then threw his arm to the side, sending the crystal into the sky and dropping down into the sea. “no!” Mal screamed, stilling as a large turquoise tentacle reached up and grabbed it.

Uma rose from the sea, Harry and Gil looked at each other as they realized their captain and friend had returned “Drop something~” Uma purred, the tentacle holding the crystal opening to show it to Mal.

“It can't get wet, give it back before it goes out!” Uma cackled at Mal's plead.

“Uma?!” Harry and Gil yelled, the sea witch looking at them with a smile and wave.

“that’s my name~!” moments later she ducked back under the waves, Mal screaming out another objection.

The water rose up in a tunnel, rising higher than the broken bridge the vks were standing on. It burst out, spraying them with water.

Harry and Gil looked back over the edge, looking for their friend “hi boys~” they spun around, Harry grinning and holding his hook up as Uma grinned back at him.

He cackled as he walked toward her “welcome back~” Uma’s smile diminished for a moment as Gil looked at her with sad eyes.

“Uma, you swam off and forgot all about us” Mal scoffed, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

“yeah, planning a revenge no doubt” Uma laughed a bit, stepping away from her boys and giving a nasty smirk to Mal.

“it's not all about you Mal” Mal seemed surprised and appalled at the comeback “I was looking for a hole in the barrier, to let everybody out?” she turned back to Harry and Gil, who grinned at her “and you know what I found boys? It’s way better out there than we thought” she walked a bit closer to them, an excited spark in her eyes. “there's this thing that looks like a furry rock, called a coconut. And fish so big you can dance on their backs!” Uma looked back at Mal. “and they’ve been keeping it all for themselves~” Harry clicked his tongue in disappointment, shaking his finger a bit.

“Whatever, Uma I need that to break a spell” Mal held her hand out as if expecting Uma would just hand over the crystal with just her word.

“Cast by sleeping beauty’s daughter Audrey” Carlos continued, watching as Uma pursed her lip in fake concern.

“so, the good guys the bad guy huh?” she let out a soft laugh “well I might not give it back, just to see what happens~”

“Uma it's not the time for games, people’s lives are in danger!” harry felt his heart stop as an image of (y/n)s body came to mind, unable to move as darkness swirled around them. He shook his head, forcing his mind to pay attention to what was happening right in front of him.

“Guarantee me, that every single villain kid who wants too, can get off the isle” Mal glared a bit and shook her head.

“I can't do that” Uma just gave her a ‘really bitch’ look and walked towards the edge of the bridge.

“can't do that huh, well how bout now!” she held her hand over the edge, dangling the crystal between her fingers.

“Deal!” Mal yelled, a satisfied smirk growing on Uma’s face as she watched Mal panic “Deal.” Uma faked a stumble, Evie calling out her name to stop her from dropping the crystal.

“Uma!” Uma looked over to Evie with a satisfied look on her face “her word is good” Uma stepped away from the edge, bringing the crystal to her face and glancing from it to mal before shaking her head

“I’ll still keep this, for the time being,” Mal scoffed, crossing her arms again “because if you think I trust you to save the world on your own, think again” Uma turned back to Harry and Gil, a wide grin on her face “this is a job for pirates!”

And with a ‘friendship’ suggestion from Evie, the vks were off to Auradon in an attempt to save it.

Another two hours, finding a courtyard of sleeping students, fighting spelled suits of armor, and then finally being sent off to find Ben, Harry was…bored.

He, Jay, Carlos, and Gil had been walking for thirty minutes through the enchanted forest but had noticed the colors around him had started to brighten, unlike they were on the isle.

‘the farther you are away from your soulmate the duller the world will be’ he remembered his mother telling him when was a babe, and it proved to be true after he met (y/n) and when they left the isle was dull again, he could see the colors but they were so drab and grey that it felt like he never found them at all.

He glanced down at his hook, smirking as his ocean blue eyes seemed to awaken with color again, the grass below him fading into that fresh green he had only heard about, looking up to see Jay and Carlos’ colors standing against the earthy tones of the forest.

He was close to his soulmate, he had to be, all he had to do now was find them as he promised.

If only a cursed beast Ben hadn't interrupted him. Jay pulled his arm out of the way, Harry spinning on his heel and sending a right hook at beast Ben's face and yelping as he turned and leaped at him.

Jay grabbed his jacket and forced him to bend back and leaned Harry towards himself, Harry spun himself back around, standing just behind Jay.

“yeh need some serious nose adjustments!” Harry snarled, flinching back as Ben roared. Ben looked between him and Gil, and snarled, leaning back on his haunches and about to leap at them.

Harry and Gil stepped back as he leaped forward, reeling his claws back to slash when a silver hilted cutlass flew between them, sticking into a tree just next to them.

The boys turned, Harry's world exploding into bright color again as he laid his eyes on (y/n). then his breath stopped as he looked at their clothes. A black button-up shirt, unbuttoned down to the middle of their chest, black ripped pants that had belts and buckles on the right leg, tall dark brown worn boots, multiple necklaces hanging between the open sides of their shirt, silver and gold rings, leather bracelets, and red and black skull stud leather fingerless gloves. “wow” Harry croaked, taking another step back as Ben swiped at (y/n).

They ducked under the swipe and ran towards the silver hilted cutlass, flipping it in their grip and blocking a couple of swipes from Ben's claws. Within moments they trapped Ben down on his front claws, raising their brow as a sharp dark object caught their eye.

They quickly ripped out the object out of Ben's paw and leaped back as Ben roared in pain and swiped his claws up “Jane now!” (y/n) called, backing up near the boys and looking at Harry, a smile growing on their face.

Suddenly a spray of water hit Ben, a soft glow and sparkles appearing as the beast form shrunk down into Ben's human form. Jay ran forward to go help Ben as (y/n) and Harry stared at each other.

The world around them blurred away and it seemed like it was just them. Gil looked between them and smiled, turning to go join the boys and Jane as Harry and (y/n) stepped closer to each other.

“I told yeh we’d see each other, again didn’t I?” Harry hummed, letting out a soft chuckle as (y/n) bit their lip and nodded.

“yeah…how’d you get off the isle?” Harry shrugged, looking down at (y/n)s hands and wanting to hold them.

“Malsy and the others wanted ta get the crystal or whatever n’ Gil and I took the chance to escape” (y/n) giggled, smiling at him.

“well, I’m glad you took the chance” Harry smiled back, eyes glancing back and forth between (y/n)s eyes and their lips.

“Harry, (y/n), come on, we’re heading back to Evie’s place” Gil forced them out of their little world, scaring (y/n) a bit as they snapped their head to look at Gil “sorry, but we’re leaving now” Harry sighed, closing his eyes a bit and nodded.

“Alright, we’re coming”

Uma blinked in surprise as she stared at Harry and (y/n)s intertwined hands “alright I missed something and I would like to be told what I missed” Harry looked around, sighing in relief as Gil entered the back room they were occupying.

“um, so yeh remember when we were fightin’ the others over Ben ‘n the wand?” Uma slowly nodded, her eyes glancing from their hands to (y/n) “um, well, um….yer hair is turquoise” Uma stared at him as if he was insane before it hit her.

“no.fucking.way~!” Uma squealed, a bright grin blooming on her face. Her hands flashed up to cup her cheeks “aww how cute!...why am I talking like this? Why can't I stop?” Uma continued to talk in a high pitched voice, looking from Gil to Harry slightly confused.

Harry snorted a bit and covered his mouth, looking away as Gil just started to laugh “you sound like you ate a lot of that balloon stuff” he chuckled.

“inhaled, you can’t eat helium Gil” (y/n) supplied, giving a soft smile to the sea three “I’m glad you approve Uma”

“Why wouldn’t I? you’re his soulmate. If I didn’t approve, I’d look like an asshole” Uma laughed “even if you are an Auradon kid, I can tell you’re one of the cool ones” Uma gestured to (y/n)s skull-themed clothing items, such as the gold coin necklace with a skull in the middle.

“oh” (y/n) snorted “that, yeah, I’m technically an Auradon kid I guess, but I’m different for one reason” Uma, Gil, and Harry looked at (y/n) with raised brows “I’m the descendant of the two most legendary pirates in the world~” Harry's eyes sparkled in excitement, tightening his grip on (y/n)s hand and bringing up, forcing (y/n)s attention to him.

“Who are they?” (y/n) giggled at his enthusiasm.

“Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner.”

Harry's jaw dropped, and he just stared at (y/n) for a minute “wh-why is he staring at me like that?” (y/n) chuckled, slightly unnerved with the look in Harry's eyes.

“he’s just happy that you have such bomb ass parents” Uma laughed, patting Harry’s back and walking out of the room with Gil “yall get to know each other better, we’ll be with the others”

(y/n) nodded, looking back at Harry and reaching up to cup his face. He shook at the touch and blinked, a smile replacing his awed look “yeh are so damn cool”

(y/n)s cheeks turned dark at the compliment “so um-“ they quickly thought of a way to turn the attention off of them “do you have any siblings?”

“aye, two sisters, Harriet and CJ, Harriet’s the oldest and CJs the baby” (y/n) smiled and took Harry's hand again, leading him to the window seat in the room and making him sit.

They sat down next to him and continued “I have an older brother, his name is Henry, and a soon-to-be sister-in-law, Carina. Um, what's your favorite food?”

“oooh battered fish fries, Uma makes really good ones”

“I’ll have to try them sometime.”

(y/n) watched with sad eyes as the limo with her soulmate drove back to the isle, twisting the ruby ring Harry had given them before he left.

It was slowly losing its color the farther the limo got.

“I’m sorry (y/n)” Ben muttered, trying to comfort them as they both watched the limo drive off “If I knew…I would have invited him to Auradon a long time ago”

“there's no point in saying that now” (y/n) muttered, shrugging off Ben's arm and walking back inside the dorms, ignoring the tears that were trailing down their face.

(y/n)s heart pounded as their shoes slammed against the bridge ground, just across from them as Harry, who was running straight towards them.

“Harry!” (y/n) screamed, feeling tears once more burn at their eyes and stream down their face. Harry screamed their name back, opening his arms as they finally reached each other and held onto (y/n) tightly, picking them off their feet and spinning them around.

“I’m here love, I’m here”

(y/n) pulled back for a moment, staring into Harry's ocean blue eyes, before they grabbed the lapels of Harry's jacket and pulling him in for a kiss.

Harry hummed and tilted his head, his hands drifting from (y/n)s hips up to their face, gently brushing his thumb against their cheek.

“I think our (y/n) is in good hands” Elizabeth hummed, watching from the Auradon side as her child was finally reunited with their soulmate.

“I think so too” Will muttered back, grabbing onto Elizabeth's hand and pressing a kiss to the back of her knuckles.

Harry pulled back from (y/n) and looked down, grinning at the black and red outfit they were wearing “I like yer look”

“Thanks, I got inspiration from my soulmate” (y/n) laughed, pressing a kiss to Harry's cheek and pulling him to Auradon.

-end-

hoped yall liked it, personally some of it went pretty fast but i was just trying write something to warm up instead of making everything make sense lol

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#disney descendants #harry hook x reader #harry hook descendants #harry hook #harry hook imagine #Descendents #descendants #oneshot #soulmate au #black and white world till you meet your soulmate

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