#only a couple more weeks and then it’s exam period

[victory-cookies]

bro I don’t wanna go to class tomorrow. I think I’m gonna skip

[ms-demeanor]

Sometimes college professors like to hop on my posts lamenting the sorry state of syllabi these days and joke about how they haven't thought that far ahead in the course themselves, or talk about how they struggle to complete a schedule for their students.

With all due respect, that's your job. If you can't do your job, you should have a different job. If you need help, ask your colleagues or your department chair or *someone* because I know that professors aren't given a hell of a lot of education on how to educate, so you probably *need* help.

But every single time I make one of those posts I get anywhere from ten to thirty messages, replies, reblogs, and asks say "oh man, that's exactly why I had to drop out of school; I couldn't keep up with the assignments because I didn't know when they were due until the week they were due."

I have been a college student in three separate decades, and "not having a schedule of assignments in the syllabus" is new to my experience. That shit didn't fly in the 2000s or 2010s and I think it likely has to do with professors being overly reliant on apps.

AT A MINIMUM your syllabus should have:

Contact information (including preferred method of contact) for the professor

Office Hours

Grading Policy

Assignment schedule.

Your assignment schedule doesn't necessarily need to have the exact page numbers of every reading or a full assignment sheet for each project, but it should have things like:

December 1st - Major Project 3 second draft due December 9th - Quiz 10 December 12th - Major Project 3 final draft due December 15th - Final Exam

If you end up presenting a more thorough schedule with readings and homework later, that is acceptable to present a week or two into the semester but it is absolutely insane to me that students these days don't know what homework they're going to have to get done over Thanksgiving break during the first couple weeks of class.

If I had three professors at once who didn't give me a schedule, how on earth would I know if I was going to have to read three chapters of a novel, take a midterm and turn in two stats homework assignments, and complete a history research paper the same week that I'm planning to travel to see family? If I'm aware of this from the beginning of the semester I can make sure not to pick up extra shifts, or I can plan to leave a day later to accommodate the midterm, or I can start working on the paper early to complete it before the due date but if I don't know what's going to be due when, I'm going to have a big problem.

If you don't give your students a schedule you are communicating that you don't care about their schedule, and that you think it's their responsibility to contort their life (and their job, and their other classes) around your class, and honestly my advice to students in that situation is "drop in the first week and pick up another class". That's actually part of why I recommend signing up for one more class than you can really manage - if you get a professor whose class looks like it's going to be a disaster because they don't have a schedule, you can bail before the withdrawal period and get a refund for the class.

I'm only in one class this semester but the professor's response has fully dropped me into "Fuck it, I guess I'll fail" mode and I don't even know if I can pull myself out of my current D grade because I don't know how many assignments we have left in the semester.

This is a shitty way to run a class. If you can't do better than this, you shouldn't be running a class.

[honeykaes]

a renter's deal

pairing: renter!kaveh x afab!reader II 2.2k

warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact, afab!reader with no set pronouns, cunnilingus, fingering, reader had a previous crush on kaveh, unambiguous if kaveh knew, reader is a landlord, unedited

synopsis: your old college-friend (and crush) Kaveh hadn’t paid rent yet. Just as you draft an email to inform him of the consequences, you hear a knock at the door wish a kaveh desperate to pay you back in other ways.

Cicadas loud chirping echoing from outside as your a/c continuously blast to avoid the hot temperatures of the summer from creeping into your apartment complex. It was the end of the month as the next loomed over in a couple of days. As the landlord, this was one of your busiest times. From working on paperwork moving people out of apartments to finalizing paperwork and credit scores to move people into the apartment, you had your work cut out for you—especially when it came to residents paying their dues for their apartments.

A fan blew past you, causing your body  to shiver as you shake your head trying to focus again on the laptop in front of you. An excel sheet on the screen greeted you back, tracking everyone’s payments. Apartment 125, Tighnari, paid in full. So did apartment 243, Aether and Lumine,  before they moved out.

As you scrolled down, you noticed only a few people had not paid you for rent yet despite today being the last day of the month—including your old college friend, Kaveh.

You and Kaveh were once friends in college before losing contact after graduating. He was always very popular and friendly, a heart of gold that always managed to get hurt by one situation or another. He was now a pretty-well known architect trying to start his own firm. 

You helped him through his breakups, his tests—his ups and downs, as he did the same for you. You wanted to reconnect when you first worked with him, moving in to his complex but things weren’t the same. The two of you aren’t the same 18, 19 year olds staying up late and going to a midnight movie showing before an exam like you used to—you both were in your late twenties, different responsibilities and interests pulling you.

And that scared you, so you gave him space.

Since the economy had slowed and businesses and organizations were interesting in building more projects anymore, Kaveh suffered immensely, scrapping anything he could to try to pay rent at the last minute to you. You felt bad but you didn’t want to pry either. 

You let out a sigh, clicking on your emails as you began to draft. Since he was late on payment, a meeting needed to be scheduled and fees processed to strategize a plan. You didn’t want to evict the poor man; or anyone for that matter.

Just as you finished drafting the email, you turned your head hearing a knock at the door. Placing your laptop on your coffee table and rising from the couch, you expected a resident to inform you about something breaking or not working. Your lips parted in shock to see Kaveh at the door. 

Kaveh seemed completely disheveled, long blond ombre hair, a mess unlike its usually tidy self. His clothes were wrinkled and unfastened as if he had just woken up and immediately ran here. He leans along the wall near your door, chest heaving loudly as he struggles to catch his breath.

“Kaveh?! Are you alright?!” you stammered out. Kaveh puts a finger out to signal to give him a second before he finally catches his breath.

“N-No. I’m so sorry I’m late on rent,” he groaned. “I am working with this school to create a playground but they won’t be able to pay me until next week. I’m a bit short with rent with my current funds.”

Your lips curled downwards before lifting your head to to nurse the headache threatening to form from the stress of the situation.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve been late, Kaveh. I can’t grant you a grace period. I really need that money in full,” you murmured. Kaveh turned to face you, scarlet eyes misty in desperation. Your heart withered seeing him in this state, but you feared bugging would put you on a tight spot with your boss.

“Please (Y/n)! You got to understand, I really tried this time. I can give you what I have and give you the remaining next week! Then I’ll be good to go for next month,” Kaveh yelled out. 

“Kaveh, let’s continue this inside, okay? I’ll get you a glass of water or some tea to calm your nerves,” you beckoned, as your own anxiety began to creep in your stomach, you open your door beckoning Kaveh to come inside without a potential audience watching the two of you.

As he nervously entered, stifly sitting himself at the couch as you leave to enter your adjacent kitchen.

“I am only short 500 out of the 1500 dollars for rent and utilities. I can surely give that to you next week,” Kaveh called out as you prepare some glasses of water for you two. You sigh once more, leaning yourself against the fridge trying to figure out what to say without hurting your old friend’s feelings anymore.

“Kaveh, technically it wouldn’t be 500 but 1000. 100 for the late fee and 400 because this is the second time, along with the 500. I don’t make these policies, my bosses do,” you replied solemnly, guilt beginning to eat at you.

“Then what can I do to prevent the late fees from occurring!” he asked.

In college, whenever he was in a bad situation, to make him feel better you always started off with a ridiculous joke to catch him off guard before giving some sound advice with a smile. Oftentimes, he’d be smiling back, hopeful and taking your feedback and lighthearted jokes for the better.

Grabbing the glasses of water, you walked back into the living room placing the waters on the coffee table and closing your laptop.

“I don’t know, fuck me or something,” you idly murmured out before chuckling. Just as you were about to give him actual advice, Kaveh fell to his knees in front of you, wrapping his arms around your legs. You gasped, flustered,  body shifting in embarrassment feeling his close contact.

“Kaveh! What are you doing! It was a joke! Y’know like I used to do in college!” you stammered out. Kaveh lifted his head up, eyebrows slightly furrowed in determination.

“Well, I’m not! I wouldn’t mind it at all. If this makes those pesky late fees go away, I’d be more than happy to do this and more!” Kaveh replied. You tried forming words from your quivering lips but your mind seemed to be malfunctioning, feeling his lips beginning to trail along your thighs, placing soft kisses along the skin.

“...Please (Y/n). For old times sake?” he whispered. 

Your heart tugged remembering the big crush you had on him before and the drunken kisses you shared with him as you attending parties together leaving you longing for more—the memories were flooding you like a tidal wave.

“...Okay, Kaveh��”

With a small smile gracing his sun-kissed face, Kaveh hands trailed up as his fingers hook on their shorts and the waistband of your underwear and gilded them down. He leaned his face in, puffs of his hot breath causing your body to shiver from the sensation as your clit began throbbing in anticipation.

His face tilts closer, darting his tongue out as he trailed a long swipe between your folds. The muscles curled up to brush against your clit, jolts of pleasure rooting through you from the sudden touch. He swirled along the bud of nerves, hands squeezing at your thighs. Your hands reached over to his hair, playing with the soft curls and losing yourself to pleasure.

He flicked his tongue along the nub, feeling your hips beginning to rock along his face. A low groan emitted from you as you ground yourself against him, his lips circling around your clit before beginning to suck. He continued to switch from sucking to rapidly flicking and circling his tongue on your clit while his hand crept up to squeeze your ass so he could keep up with your movements.

As he continued, one hand eventually left the globe letting two of his fingers sink into your dribbling cunt, coated with your arousal and his saliva. He pumped them deliberately slowly, your legs shaking from his delicate touch, wanting more.

“Kaveh,” you whimpered out, hearing him slurp continuously as your slick graced his mouth. He nuzzled his face deeper into your cunt, as his fingers pumped inside your pulsating walls, curling and massaging themselves to get you closer to your high.

Shutting your eyes, your hands traveled to your chest and squeezed it tightly as your voice began to rise, feeling Kaveh’s tongue press harder against the button. You throw your head back, as your high finally reached you. Kaveh struggled to keep up with your movements as he continued to thrust his fingers inside of you, nursing your high before it fell down. 

With slight jitters, Kaveh finally leaned away, lower mouth completely coated in your slick. His tongue was parted out, strings of your arousal still connecting the muscle with your cunt. Your tired eyes stared down in embarrassment, cheeks warm in shame as Kaveh wipes his mouth in content.

You could see the bulge poking out from his pants.

“W-Well! You’ve done your part! So—”

You're interrupted by Kaveh rising from his knees on the floor and connecting his lips with your own in a passionate kiss. You can’t help but moan, feeling his tongue, stained in your juices, roam inside your own mouth as he pulled you closer. He momentarily broke the kiss, both of you trying to catch your breaths, lips hovering by your own.

“I want to ensure that you don’t go back on your word though. So please, let me ensure your pleasure…” Kaveh breathlessly begged, claiming your lips once more. His hands wandered to your waist as pinned you against the wall—paintings knocking roughly from the sudden movement. 

Breaking the kiss once more, he zipped his pants down, revealing his throbbing erection. His cock was flushed, shivering as he took a hold of it as precum budded at its tip, dripping down to the rest of his length. He pumped it a few times with a shaky moan erupting from his lips before using another hand to slightly light your leg up near his small waist.

Your lips trembled as the tip of his cock spread past your folds trying to find your entrance, gathering up the abundant slick drooling from you. As Kaveh lined himself up, he placed his lips by your ear and with a low groan, sank himself inside of you. 

He grunted loudly when he finally bottomed out, cock nestled deep inside of you. He pecked at your neck before snapping his hips back, thrusting himself inside of you. The paintings hit the wall rowdily to the pace of his thrusts. 

“I hope you’re enjoying my end of the d-deal…” Kaveh grunted out, pressing his lips against your ear so you could hear all of his little noises. You moaned in response as Kaveh reached over to press tight circles along your overstimulated clit. 

“Y-You made me so sensitive,” you admitted, as you chirped, feeling Kaveh shifting his angle pistoning inside of you so he was not hitting that spot he desperately wanted to find.

“T-That’s the point. I want to make you cum so hard. I know you can…you're so close aren’t you, eshgham,” he whispered, nibbling on your neck. Kaveh could feel your walls beginning to cave in and spasm, signaling your end was close. 

“K-Kav—” Kaveh captured your lips as you reached your second climax, your body shivering pinned against him. Hips sloppily faltered as he furrowed his eyebrows to try to control his own temptations and guide you down your high once more.

As glossy lips part from your own, Kaveh slipped his cock out, pumping it rapidly before a desperate groan emitted from his lips before biting down to try to be quieter. Ropes of cum shot from his tip, smearing themselves on your thighs. 

He watched as his cum glided down the curves of your wobbling leg. He let your other leg down before supported your weight on your body with a small smile.

“Easy there…you’re probably very overstimulated. Let’s get you all cleaned up in your bathroom. Where is that,” he asked. You tiredly pointed into the direction of your bedroom as he guided you toward it. As he opened the door, he gently set you down on the rim of the porcelain bathtub before reaching to grab a rag on your towel rack.

“I’m sorry for going a little overboard. I just wanted to ensure I had done my part. Keeping my end of the deal is important to me,” he murmured, wetting the towel up with some soap before wiping it down to clean your legs. As he wiped over your cunt, you whined at the burn of overstimulation getting to you.

“...So, please, please please don’t go back on your word, (Y/n),” he begged, with large  pleading eyes. You sighed once more, but to his surprise it was a lot lighter in tone than earlier.

“...You don’t have to pay rent at all for this month, okay? I’ll cover it…just focus on getting the money for the next month,” you whispered. Kaveh lit up as a grin curled on his face. He leaned in placing a tender kiss on your forehead as your cheeks fought against a blush.

“...I missed you Kaveh…” you admitted. Kaveh brushed part of your hair away.

“I missed you too.”

[izels-writing]

s. black — the herbology weakness

Pairing: sirius black x fem!potter!reader

Summary: being james potter’s little sister was tough, it was even tougher when you had a crush on his best friend

Warnings: she’s so in love it’s school girl crush, fluff, angst toward the end, mentions of death

being james potter's little sister meant one of two things. one, you were pretty popular, and it helped that you were beautiful and smart as well. two, you weren't allowed to fancy his best mates. more specifically, his best friend, sirius black.

usually, you didn't complain, you didn't care, you could care less than not caring. that was until the end of their fourth year, when you realized that you were falling for the one and only. which was hell all on its own, no need to add on the fact that if he did fancy you back, you wouldn't be able to date.

now, you were in your fifth year, while your brother was in his sixth. over the summer, sirius had moved in after his family disowned him, and it made your crush worse, but in all, you were glad he was safe. as of right now though, you were in the library with lily evans, your best friend since your second year, a friend you had acquired with a funny story.

you had introduced yourself, using your full name, and at first she was about to turn you away, thinking you were exactly like your brother, but you quickly proved her wrong. all you did was politely ask if you could sit and talk with her, considering your brother had left you in the dust to join his friends. she quickly accepted.

james, of course, was jealous.

"y/n? you there?" lily chuckled, waving a hand in front of your face. you snapped out of your daze, and chuckled, nodding at her.

"what? are you thinking about black again?" lily teased quietly. she had been the only one to find out about your crush, though she did tell you that everyone could see it besides your brother and the boy you fancied himself.

you shook your head quickly, feeling a blush grow. "no! just thinking about exams this year." you replied nonchalantly.

lily sighed, "they're not so bad." she replied quietly. you felt a pang of guilt, knowing that time period was a touchy subject. sure, james and sirius had humiliated snape, but what you had done after finding out what he called lily was much worse.

you smiled, grabbing her hand gently. "hey," you said softly, "it's his loss."

lily smiled reassuringly and nodded. quickly, her sadness faded. "you're right. anyway, we've got more—"

a thump interrupted her words, making you both snap in the direction of the noise. it had been at the entrance of the library, where you two were near, but slightly hidden.

"padfoot! come on! focus! what's got you all unfocused? we've got pranks to execute in a couple of weeks." a boy with messy hair asked, looking at the handsome boy beside him. sirius shook his head, "nothing, mate, nothing."

remus chuckled, "a certain lady got your interest, pads?" he asked.

you felt your heart sink, despite not hearing sirius' response yet. if he was in love, it surely wouldn't be you. the thought alone made your heart break.

"moons, st—"

"n/n! hey! what are you doing?" james said, walking over to you, swooping down to kiss your head.

one thing about you and james, you grew up with tons of affection, so this was common between the two of you. not to mention, you two were only a year apart and rather close — despite being polar opposites.

"hey, jamsie. i'm just here with lily. what are you mauraders up to?" you asked, smiling at them, pretending as though you hadn't heard remus before. sirius beamed back at you, making your smile grow.

"practicing for DADA and stuff. real material here. want to join in, evans?" james asked, his genuine kindness actually seeping through.

lily, however, shook her head. "no thanks, potter. i've got to get back to common room anyway, some other time?" she suggested. you and sirius shared a look, impressed by her much kinder words.

james smiled and nodded. "yeah, alright."

lily gave him a small smile, and gathered her things, walking off. finally, when she was out of earshot, you and sirius broke.

"wow! she was actually nice to you!" sirius said, giggling like an idiot.

you chuckled, "yeah! she even addressed you by potter and not a toerag!" you added.

james scowled at you two. quickly, remus stepped in.

"alright you two. enough teamwork. let james have his moment." remus chuckled. james grinned, patting remus' back. "thank you, moony."

"anytime, prongs." remus breathed out, patting james' back as well.

"aw, it's all in good fun. right, love?" sirius said, looking to you for reassurance. you paused for a moment. he hadn't ever addressed you as love. but, perhaps he was getting accustomed to being part of the potters.

you took a subtle deep breath, nodding and smiling. "right you are, hon." you replied. he smiled at you, but worrying you'd blush or give yourself away, you looked down at the book in your lap.

james narrowed his eyes at the two of you, but said nothing. remus and peter struggled to fight the urge to just yell out about your feelings for each other.

"so, y/n, how's studying coming along?" remus asked.

you groaned, "don't even get me started! i know all of this stuff, i know i do, but i'm afraid that i'll forget it as soon as i get to the exams! now, herbology though, it's a nightmare. i know nothing."

"why are you studying so early anyway? it's barely january." james mumbled, shaking his head at you. you glared at him, but turned back to remus, who had a small smile on his face.

"well, if you'd like, i can help you study? i mean i've taken the exam so i know what to expect." remus suggested. you grinned, "yes! of course! please!"

sirius crossed his arms and leaned against a bookcase, rolling his eyes at the two of you. remus pretended not to notice, while you stayed oblivious.

"okay! why don't you come to our dorm on saturday? the boys will all be at hogsmeade so we'll have the dorm to ourselves." remus suggested. you nodded with a bright smile, "yes! of course! thank you so much!"

you threw yourself at him, hugging him and kissing his cheeks gently. he hugged back with a laugh, then let you go so you could get back to your common room.

once you had left, james overcame his shock.

"are you planning on being in a dorm alone with my little sister? are you mental?! no!" james exclaimed. madam pince scowled and shushed him loudly before walking off.

"yeah! you're insane if you think we're gonna let you be alone! i mean what exactly are you thinking? you alone with a beautiful girl like her?!" sirius exclaimed. madam pince shushed him again. james didn't seem to notice sirius' comment.

remus rolled his eyes. "calm down you two! i've got a date with someone on saturday, i was actually hoping sirius could fill in."

sirius glared at him, knowing what remus was doing, but james hadn't, and probably would never catch on.

"why?" james asked dumbfounded.

remus sighed, "if you haven't noticed, she's mainly studying herbology, her weakness. it so happens padfoot is spectacular at herbology. get where i'm going with this?"

"oh..." james stretched out the 'o' sound, nodding slowly. "well, i suppose that is pretty reasonable. as long as pads doesn't make any moves."

sirius scoffed, "as if." he told them. remus gave him a look, to which he ignored.

sirius was utterly in love with you. it started in the beginning of his fifth year, he hadn't realized it right away, in fact, he thought it was merely a familial connection. then he started noticing the little things. the light blush when you talked to him. the way you bit your lip when you were concentrating. or, whenever you were excited about something, you'd immediately go to james to tell him. usually he'd dismiss it, like the older brother he was, but sirius wouldn't. sirius would listen for hours and hours, until you got every single point across. in his eyes, you were the most amazing person he knew.

that's when it had hit him.

and merlin had he been falling hard.

——

saturday has rolled around quickly for you. classes had flown by, with the shit ton of homework, like usual. finally, after lunch, you made your way to your brothers dorm.

as you pushed the door open, expecting the lone werewolf on the other side, you immediately started yelling/singing the beginning of bohemian rhapsody. you and remus always greeted each other this way. unfortunately for you, it was not remus on the other side.

"is this the real life?! is this just fant—oh my god!" you exclaimed, your eyes widening as you looked at the raven-haired boy in front of you. he was smirking at you, as if he was amused by you.

"sirius! uhm, where's remus?" you asked with a nervous laugh, tugging at your large sweater, that happened to be sirius'. you had stolen it as a joke, but he let you keep it, mumbling something about how it looked better on you. and you didn't exactly object.

"had a date with a lady. he asked me to tell you that he's sorry about that by the way." sirius replied, smiling at you now, glancing at your fidgeting hands.

god this is very embarrassing, you thought.

"oh! well, i'll just study with him another time then. thanks for letting me know! b-" you said quickly.

"woah, woah, woah! hold on! we're studying together, baby potter!" sirius exclaimed, rushing over to you before you could completely disappear out of view.

you tilted your head to the side, "we are?"

sirius chuckled, "yeah! why do you think i waited here? besides, i happen to be amazing at herbology." he replied boastfully.

you knew studying with him would somehow make you fancy him even more. you were so sure of it. anything sirius black did was like angel's singing to you. well, that may have been a bit of an exaggeration, but still. you wanted to object, turn him down, and just study with remus.

but again, your words failed you.

"...okay. but i'd better get a good homework grade and exam grade. i've been failing herbology, getting p's and d's. not exactly my style." you said. he nodded with a small smile.

"alright then." he replied, bringing you back into the dorm.

—

thirty minutes in, and you were already lost. you were lost in one of two things. his words and what he was trying to explain, (you didn't understand mostly but you loved hearing him talk), and his eyes. merlin, his eyes. they were a beautiful grey color, and you always did love the color grey. you wouldn't stare at him for too long, but it was long enough for you. but you were careful in getting caught.

"alright, now, touching the trunk of a wiggentree protects you from what?" sirius asked, looking up from the textbook. you looked down at your textbook blankly, before looking back up at him.

"um...dark creatures?" you guessed. he smiled and nodded.

you grinned and took a deep breath. finally you were getting somewhere. despite only having guessed that. it was a start, because you usually never even guessed right. professor sprout had given up on trying to force you to focus ages ago.

"now, from the top..."

——

wednesday had been the day you were dreading. after studying with sirius, you wrote your essay the next day. then you handed it in monday, and now, you were going to be receiving it back. you were beyond nervous. you hated failing as it is, but you also didn't want sirius to think you had wasted his time.

"miss potter," professor sprout said, handing you your essay with a small smile as you were about to leave the greenhouse, "well done."

you furrowed your eyebrows, walking past the other students and stopping on the way up the hill. you slowly opened your essay, fearing the worst, until you noticed the actual grade.

an E.

you never got an E in herbology.

you gasped in shock, feeling a burst of excitement. you hoisted your bag over you shoulder, and began running toward the castle, where you knew sirius would be. it was about lunch time now.

you ran as fast as your feet would take you, pushing past people and smiling like an idiot. you scanned around the corridor, until your eyes finally landed on a tall, handsome boy with remus, your brother, and peter.

you ran over, not caring if you looked like an imbecile, and stopping suddenly in front of him. you frantically opened the essay again, turning it around to show the boy.

"you got an E!" he said excitedly.

"i got an E!" you repeated, matching his excitement.

you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. he hugged back happily, laughing into your shoulder.

"that's my girl! i knew you could do it!" he said. you blushed, giggling softly.

"thank you." you mumbled, pulling back from the hug, keeping your arms around his neck. he pulled back a little too, but kept his arms around your waist as well.

then, it happened.

you weren't sure who leaned in first. in fact, you weren't even sure who instigated this. all you knew was that you were kissing sirius black right now and it was nothing like how you imagined it.

it was better.

he was gentle and sweet. his hands were on your hips, resting softly. your hands were intertwined around his neck.

finally, you both pulled back, slightly out of breath. you would've forgotten about the boys behind you, had it not been your brother yelling.

"what?! what's—?! i-" james stammered, glancing between you and sirius. remus and peter sighed in relief and also in tiredness.

"take a walk, james..." peter mumbled, turning james around and patting his back, pushing him toward the great hall.

"my sister and my best mate...my best mate and my sister...y/n and sirius...sirius and y/n..." james mumbled.

remus chuckled, "we'll leave you to it then..." he said, walking off with the other two.

you turned to sirius, who was smiling the happiest smile you had ever seen. you were happy too, because merlin was he was amazing, but your defenses quickly came up.

"listen sirius, i don't want to be some fling or whatever—" you mumbled.

sirius chuckled and shook his head quickly, "trust me, y/n, you're not a fling. i fancy you, more than i've ever fancied anyone."

"you sure?" you asked softly, despite already feeling like you knew the answer. he never called you by your name, it was always baby potter or n/n, never y/n. deep down you knew he wasn't lying.

"of course! you're the best person i've ever met! i fancy you for you! why do you think i gave you that sweater? why do you think i make you tea when you're not feeling all too great? why-"

you kissed him quickly, smirking at him when you pulled away.

he laughed, and you noticed a pink tint on his cheeks. "alright, i get it. point is, will you, please, go out with me?" he asked.

you shrugged, "only cause you said please." you replied with a smirk. sirius chuckled, ruffling your hair up and wrapping his arm around you.

"love, you'll be the death of me." he said.

"i'm a potter. it's what we do best." you grinned.

bonus:

harry reached for the photo that was sitting on the table. sirius had left it, likely on accident because it seemed to be the only lively thing in grimmauld place. but it was also intriguing. he had never seen this woman before. she was standing beside his mother and father, and sirius, smiling like there was no tomorrow. she looked a lot like his father, black hair and hazel eyes. her hair, however, looked rather tamer. this had to be his parents wedding day, mostly because lily wore a white dress, and james wore a nice, black suit.

"harry? have you seen—oh thank merlin, you have it. where'd you find it?" sirius asked, smiling lightly at the boy. harry gestured at the table, but didn't tear his eyes from the woman.

she looked familiar. oddly familiar. though, he knew he had never met her.

"sirius...who is this?" he asked tentatively, still staring at the woman on the picture.

sirius walked over with a sad smile, feeling his heart break more and more as he saw your bright smile. he hadn't seen your smile in almost sixteen years.

"your aunt, on your dads side. she and james were closer than i could've ever imagined in siblings. and she and lily were the best of friends, rarely saw them apart in school." he spoke gently, noticing harry's shift in demeanor. he looked sadder, like this was another thing he'd never get to experience.

"what's...what's her name?" harry asked quietly.

sirius felt his heart break more. it was saddening, knowing you would've loved to see harry now, and he didn't even know your name.

"y/n. y/n potter. your dad would call her n/n. she..." he hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was right to say this, but he wanted harry to know her, the way james and lily and you would've wanted. "she was the love of my life. in fact, we were even going to get married. after the war."

the memory felt bittersweet. he remembered proposing, at home, with just the two of you. you were ecstatic, blubbering 'yes' over and over. he remembered the way you kissed him, like it was the last thing you'd ever do. he remembered james crying tears of joy and sadness the next day as he realized his little sister was getting married, but he knew she was in good hands. he remembered you and lily rambling on and on about a small bachelorette party. even when things were chaotic and scary, you always found a way to lighten the situation. to make everyone feel safe.

to make him feel safe.

"what happened to her?" harry asked, finally looking up at sirius with a broken look. just the way sirius talked about you, harry knew how important you had to have been to everyone, but you and him would never get to meet. not in this lifetime anyway.

sirius swallowed the lump in his throat. while it hurt to mention, he knew you'd want harry to know. you'd want harry to find the good in the situation. in your situation.

"she died trying to protect your father...she was on a mission with him. the two potters, they were the dynamic duo. more than your dad and i honestly. a deatheater was trying to get away, and james wouldn't let him, so the deatheater shot a horrible curse at him. but your aunt, a brave woman she was, she jumped in front of james. it injured her badly, and she didn't make it, but she did it because you were going to be born soon. and she wanted you to have your father. even if it meant her dying. it's why your middle name is james, she's the one who suggested it, before she. . ."

harry felt a pressure in his chest, almost as if he wanted to cry. he didn't understand why he was so emotional over you, he hadn't ever met you. but it felt like he had. you sacrificed yourself for his dad. that was one of the bravest things he had ever heard.

"she sounds amazing." harry finally said, ignoring the pressure. sirius looked at the picture, his eyes fixated on you.

"she was."

[goodbuckcharlie]

Captain’s keeper | Nico Hischier

Summary: Nico surprises his girlfriend at her work much to her and her students’ excitement.

Warnings : I didn’t proof read this and I wrote it fast. Also no use of Y/N instead I use the name Baylee.

Notes : I don’t know how Nico or the devils act irl but this is how I imagine him. Also I know the devils didn’t play tonight ,but let’s say they did.

February 29th, the day that only happens every four years. It also just so happened to be the birthday of Nico Hischier’s lover. Baylee was turning 24 ,well technically 6, but that’s all a technicality. Unfortunately, she still had to teach, and Nico had a game, so the two couldn’t spend a lot of the day together. Nico tried to convince her to take the day off , but she insisted she had to be there for her speech and debate team who had a competition coming up. So, this forced Nico to get a little creative.

The morning started pretty early as normal, with Nico getting ready for practice, and Baylee doing her morning grading, since she refuses to spend her nights grading ,cause that time was reserved for Nico. But this morning, instead of Baylee waking up while Nico was in the shower, she was surprisingly woken up with her handsome boyfriend making breakfast.

“Good morning schatz.” Baylee hugs her boyfriend from behind. She is obviously much shorter than he is, so she has to wiggle her head under his arm to see what he was making. The girl can’t help , but smile like the Cheshire Cat when she sees that Nico had made two instagram worthy, smoothie bowls. Baylee was never a fan of traditional breakfast food like eggs, pancakes, or waffles ,so to see her lover put the extra time and effort into to her breakfast melts her heart. “Happy birthday my love.”

“Awe Neeks, it’s perfect.” Their eyes meet for the first time this morning, and they share a smile, before sharing a quick kiss. Baylee lets go of her hold on Nico, so the two can enjoy their breakfast.

“So, birthday girl, what do you have planned for today?” Nico asks with genuine curiosity.

“Well the first 5 periods are my ap Euro classes , so I was just planning on giving them a free day to catch up on work, and study for the ap exams.” It was only her second year teaching, and the school had already trusted her to teach an ap (advanced placement) class. This was mainly because the past teacher had retired, and she was the only person who was willing to take on this responsibility. “And then a few of the other teachers had planned a mini birthday party during 6th period cause that’s my lunch time. Nothing big. Then of course 7th period, I have to work with the debaters to add the finishing touches to their debates. They are so close to getting it, but they just barely miss the mark.”

“Well, good thing for them. They have the best coach money can buy.” Baylee rolls her eyes and chuckles. It was only her first year as the debate team coach, but the team had already won a few awards at local tournaments. But, in Baylee’s opinion she had nothing to do with the team’s success. It was purely her team’s natural talent.

“Neeks, I love the support, but I am few years out from being the best.”

The two continue to have a conversation as they eat their breakfast as a normal couple does. But sadly they both have to get ready for their day and go to work. Normally they carpool to work, with Nico dropping her off and picking her up, but on game days and during roadies, Nico gets a ride with Jack. They both adore their morning rides together, soft music playing and the loving embrace of the lover before dealing with the reality of work. Sadly, today was not one of those days.

Baylee leaves before Jack gets there (much to Jack’s disapproval) so she can work on some class prep for next week. This way she has more time to spend with Nico on Saturday.

During the school day, Baylee’s students and staff had showered her with love and gifts. They all tried to make this day very special for her. Baylee was over the moon to spend her birthday with her students, she just wishes Nico could be here too.

“Okay students settle down. Nicole please sit down. You can talk to your friends in one moment, if you give me just three minutes of your time.” Luckily, the teenager doesn’t give Baylee any hassle ,and she goes straight to her seat. The best part about being an ap teacher is that the students are more well behaved than normal teenagers. Don’t get me wrong they have their day too, they are still teenagers, but not nearly as bad as normal classes. “For my birthday I decided to give you guys a present, for today and tomorrow, you guys get to have a free day. I do encourage you to study for test next week, I am allowing you guys to do what you like. As long as it’s safe ,not too loud, and you don’t leave the classroom. One last thing, all late penalties have been suspended for the next two days, this means you guys can turn in any late work without a late penalty until the end of the day tomorrow.”

The classroom fills with excitement, which Baylee has to gesture for every one to settle down. This was her last class of the day before her break period and then it was time for debate. Luckily, Baylee only had a few more lesson plans and then she would have a whole weekend of free time to spend with Nico.

Little did she know, Nico was able to convince the team to end practice early and so he could surprise Baylee at work. Not only was he able to end practice early, he also was able to drag along a few of the guys to help surprise his girl.

Nico along with Jack, Luke, Jasper, and Dawson, got into the school with the help of Baylee’s coworkers. The boys had brought a raspberry cheesecake from her favorite cafe, which Luke almost dropped walking up the stairs.

Meanwhile, Baylee was talking to one of her speech and debate students the just so happened to also be in her 5th period class.

“You see that line you wrote right there? I really like how you wrote it down, but your delivery sounds fake,” She was currently coaching over the speech the student had wrote for the next tournament, “You can say the most ridiculous thing in the world with a mountain of confidence, and you would sound more believable than if you said something intelligent with 0 confidence.”

“Thanks Miss. Buck that helps a lot.” The student grabs her things with a smile and head back to her seat. Suddenly there is a knock at the door.

“Micheal can you grab that bud?” The student closest to the door, stands up and opens the door. Just as luck has it, Micheal was on the school’s varsity hockey team and was a huge devils fan. So imagine the boy’s surprise when he sees not one, not two, but five players from his favorite team.

Baylee’s heart drops when she hears Micheal shout “Oh my god, no way.”

With fear and curiosity for her student, she rushes to the door ready to protect the child, but what she was greeted with was no threat. It was her loving boyfriend and his teammates. This also makes Micheal’s reaction make more sense.

“Neeks what are you doing here?!” She pulls her boyfriend into a hug, but not without hearing Luke’s audible scoff.

“What are we? Chopped liver?” Baylee laughs off his sassiness and gives each one of the guys their own hugs. She invites the guys to come into her classroom, which of course causes chaos to consume the teens. Teenage girls giggling about how hot the hockey players were, and other students who were starstruck by the players.

Luke places the cheesecake on her desk where he sees a picture of Baylee and Nico after a game with Jack and him photo bombing in the back.

“I can’t believe you are here!” Baylee pulls Nico into another hug , just to make sure he was really there, and not a figure of her imagination.

“Of course, I have to make sure my girl is having an amazing birthday.”

“You mean our girl.” Jack says while peaking his head out from behind Nico.

“Yeah our girl.” Dawson adds with a teasing smirk.

“Next time you two wait in the car.”

“Miss Buck?” Baylee’s attention is moved to her student. “I hate to interrupt ,but can you help me direct me to the pages in the text book where we will be going over for next week’s test.”

She quickly excuses herself before helping her students quickly before going back to the hockey players. During the 10 minutes she was gone, some of the students had the players hockey related questions.

Nico watches Baylee and basically gawks at her as she teachers with such care and devotion. Of course this doesn’t go unnoticed by the guys, but they decide to chirp their captain later rather than doing it around a bunch of teens.

Suddenly, three students come up to Nico with very serious expressions.

“So Mr Hischier, what are your intentions with our teacher?” Nico is taken back by the teens’ abrupt tone. But his teammates all start laughing to themselves. “Miss. Buck is one of the realest of Jersey and yet you haven’t put a ring on that finger? Ain’t no way.”

“Damn cap, even the kids are wondering.” The team has always chirped Nico for waiting so long to propose to Baylee.

“Miss Baylee deserves, the biggest most beautiful wedding in the world and yet here she is weddingless.” The teenage girl at the end of the group points at Baylee who is distracted helping another student. “Tell me that she wouldn’t absolutely slay in a white wedding dress..”

Despite not fully understanding the students ���hip lingo” ,Nico looks at Baylee and all he sees is her in a floor length dress, nothing too fancy since Baylee wasn’t a flashy girl, with her hair all done and her looking absolutely breathtaking. (An image he has thought of way too often) And he can’t help, but fall in love again.

“Jessie, Tony, and Angela leave Nico alone. You look like you broke the poor boy.” Baylee’s voice broke him from his gaze.

“We’re just standing on business Miss B.” The three kids take their seats.

“Don’t mind them babe, those are some of my debate students, I told them I wanted them to be more intimidating in their speech and clearly that worked too well.” Baylee guides the five men back out to the hallway , so they can have more privacy. “Thank you guys so much.”

“Anything for our captain’s keeper.” Nico groans in annoyance at his teammates nickname for Baylee. The other four guys bid their goodbyes to Baylee before leaving the lovers alone for a second.

“I know it wasn’t much Schatz, but given the circumstances, I hope you enjoyed your surprise.”

“Oh I definitely enjoyed it.” Baylee gives Nico a small kiss while still staying work appropriate since anyone can see her in the hallway. “I mean not as much as Micheal did, you guys totally made his day.”

The two laugh share a laugh for a second. When their laughter died down, their eyes locked again.

“I’ll see you after the game tonight okay Schatz?”

“Of course captain, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” The two share one more kiss before she sends Nico away knowing that the bells is about the ring and that will cause the hallways to fill with students.

When she renters her classroom, her students all look at her blushing face. The students can’t help, but feel happy seeing the teacher that brings them so much joy, be so happy.

End note: so this was just a small little blurb I wrote real quickly just to test the waters on here and see how I feel about posting on here. This is the first ever post I am making on tumblr so feel free to let me know what you think. Constructive criticism only please :) and also let me know if you guys would be interested in reading more about Baylee and Nico in more detailed stories that I put more effort into.

[drferox]

My MS Diagnosis

So I’m approaching the 2 year mark since my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis and I thought I’d better document how I got here, because being the patient is a weird experience, especially for a condition that had kind of vague symptoms that needed a fair amount of work up.

My symptoms actually started in early 2020, when I was in the third trimester of pregnancy. The main symptom was mistaken for carpal tunnel syndrome - numbness in my fingers that would progress to increasingly violent pins & needles sensations, that would progress to burning if I tried to push through it. Only this sensation would extend all the way up to my shoulders at times. I stopped performing surgery, because not only was I unsatisfied with my lack of sensation to know what I was doing with my tissue handling, but the pain would get worse quickly in constrictive surgical gloves in the presence of patient warming. So I stopped performing surgery in late pregnancy and was told it would get better a few months after giving birth.

It did not.

So six months after giving birth, finding myself able to use my hands for short periods but still unable to perform surgery to my standard, I went back to complain to the doctor. I also couldn’t play video games properly, my arms would often be numb when I woke up, all the way up to my shoulder, and they were super temperature sensitive. Even hot water from washing dishes would set them off.

They sent me down a carpal tunnel work up - ultrasounds and talking to a neurologist. The short version is they did tell me I had mild carpal tunnel… on one side only.

Which did not make any damn sense considering I had symptoms on both sides all the way up to my shoulder.

The worst neurologist in the world could not explain to me why a mild problem on one wrist was affecting sensation all the way up to the opposite shoulder, and just said ‘it happens sometimes’. Now, I like to think I have a solid understanding of the basics of how a body works, and was really unsatisfied with this answer. They recommended I talk to a surgeon, since I’d already been doing a bunch of physiotherapy, but I decided not to. Surgery could have put my hand in a cast for up to 6 weeks, I had a 6 month old baby to care for at home and a partner who was useless at best, and abusive at worst. I could not afford the time in a cast.

So I went to try something else, visiting an osteopath to see what they could do about my ‘mild’ carpal tunnel, and while I’m there, these headaches I’ve been getting.

She spent a good long while stretching out different muscle groups, and found that certain neck muscle stretches changed the sensations I was getting in my fingertips. So whatever was causing the hand problem was coming from somewhere in the neck, and she recommended I get a CT scan.

Went back to my doctor to get a referral for a CT scan, and explained what was going on. He thought about it for a minute, didn’t voice his concerns, and upgraded it to a neck MRI.

That MRI found a demyelinating lesion in my neck. So went back for a full Central Nervous System scan and found a couple more borderline ones.

That sent me back to a (different) neurologist, had a proper neurological exam that found a few random patches of altered skin sensation in addition to the arm weirdness I had going on. So I was probably a MS case, but not particularly severe as MS goes.

To confirm it I needed a lumbar puncture to look for oligoclonal bands in by CSF. The lumbar puncture was a moderately unpleasant experience which then mandated that I remain lying down for 24 hours so that my spinal fluid didn’t spring a leak. With a baby and a distinctly unhelpful partner, I barely made it to that 24 hours.

And then… I sprung a CSF leak. Which is a jolly weird experience I can tell you.

When your CSF leaks from a lumbar puncture you will feel perfectly fine… when you are lying flat on your back, because your spine flops over the hole and plugs the leak. If you’re upright at all the spine flops away from the hole and it slowly leaks out, and you get more of this weird frontal headache that gets worse the longer you’re upright, standing there talking to the ER admissions nurse. And the info I had explained that it can progress to seizures and similar the worse it gets, but I only got as far as pain and fuzzy vision. I seriously could only be upright for ten minutes without pain, and had to lie down to resolve it.

That required some medicine-that-looks-like-magic to fix, called a blood patch. Doctors took some of my blood, fresh out of the vein, and inserted it into my spine approximately where the leak should be, so that the clot would cover the leaky patch. Self blood magic. It worked brilliantly, about an hour later.

The CSF tap ordeal confirmed the presence of the oligoclonal bands, and then I got stunted into the public health system, in a department specifically geared towards managing Multiple Sclerosis patients. They debated for a little while, at a multidisciplinary meeting, whether I was really MS or a Clinically Isolated Syndrome (which is like Multiple Sclerosis but without the ‘Multiple’ part), but settled on MS. Yes, Tumblr, I was nearly diagnosed with CIS.

The shoe thing took about a year from when I actively complained to doctors, or about 18 months from the first probable symptoms. That’s approximate because some things that were thought to be pregnancy symptoms could have been due to MS, like fatigue and leg weakness. I’m pretty lucky that I’m comfortable in hospitals and with medical procedures, am reasonably medically literate. I think the magic phrase that got things to happen quickly was ‘these symptoms are greatly affecting my ability to do my job’.

I don’t think my MS has progressed since starting the medication (and I’ll talk about the medication in another post). I’ve acquired one additional brain lesion since diagnosis, but I have no clue what physical symptom it’s associated with.

While some symptoms are better, I still cannot perform surgery to the standard or with the endurance that I used to,so I basically don’t any more. I can do about ten minutes, which is enough to bail a new graduate vet out of trouble, but not enough to take over completely for them. I’ve had a few years to think about it but I don’t know what the MS is going to do to my career, only that I can still practice for now.

It’s not great, but it could be a whole lot worse, and that’s how I got here.

[unstablenoodle]

Just graduated, and I’ve been dragging myself by my hair through the last 4 years. here’s advice if you’re new to college:

Basic advice:

Make friends in your lectures. You will know some of those people all four years, and some of them are better at this than you. You’re still capable, but there’s always a bigger fish and you should make that fish into a study buddy

Get a job at a food court/ campus restaurant. You get a free meal, which might be your only one for the day if you don’t have a meal plan. Work can also be a mental break from academics.

Abuse office hours. Annoy your TA. make them scared to see you. TA’s are tired grad students and you won’t have a formal relationship with them: they are students too.

Study advice:

Flash cards are for review and rote learning only. 15-30 minute power review sessions for things you already know. If you’re going over familiar shit, do it in short, repetitive bursts.

Be the bitch with annoying decorative notes. Make it a game, it’ll force you to look at the material more. I will say though, make sure you decorate with purpose.

Those friends you made in lecture? That’s where you get the big studying done. If you’re going for a higher 4 hour long study sesh, bring other people. They know things you don’t and vice versa, so you can fill in the gaps for each other. This type of studying is for unfamiliar or confusing material.

Big study sessions usually only happen a couple weeks out from exams at most. Before exams, your homework is your main means of studying.

Just go to the lecture. I don’t care if it’s at 7:30 am, go. Participation points could be the difference between a B and a C.

TI-84 graphing calculator

Pub chem

If a professor, for some ungodly reason, says you aren’t allowed to work on the homework with other people, fuck that guy.

Your $168.99 textbook is likely a free PDF online.

Date someone who fills in your gaps. I dated an engineer I met in a physics class and it worked beautifully.

Mental health (my advice on this is very specific):

Basic advice: drink water regularly, eat vegetables, exercise. You know all this.

Stay far, far away from any substance called a “study buddy” or something like that

Get a hobby. Actually. Something to do in your free time to keep you from going insane. I personally like knitting and drawing, but it can be anything. I’d say avoid something involving technology because it’s easy to fall into that for hours at a time. Do something that engages your hands and your brain. You might not be creative, but creativity is good for you. Your painting looks like shit? The benefits you have reaped from its creation are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Good job.

If you are having any kind of hallucination (visual, auditory, presence, etc.), seek professional help immediately. I have lived half my life with the feeling of eyes on me and the presence of people who aren’t actually there and never tried to fix it because I could “work around it.” Just go get help. Hallucinations can also be a symptom of neurological issues and physical illness.

OCD and disorders involving psychosis are aggravated by stress. Your classes will stress you out. Disorders like this are scary and debilitating, so you absolutely need to be in therapy, possibly on medication. They also tend to be episodic, so you may have periods of recovery where your life quality improves. Do NOT be fooled: you still need to be in therapy even if you feel good. Preventative measures are the best measures!!

Social:

Get a job. Work friends are funnier and way more entertaining than any other kind of friend

I recommend a group of 2-4 people you chill with regularly. Movie night with them once a week (barring exam weeks and extenuating circumstances)

Talk with your roommates at least occasionally. It’s no fun living with total strangers.

Do not start smoking cigarettes. A lot of people are repulsed by the smell and it clings to you.

Hygiene. Mainly you should smell good. You don’t have to go crazy with an expensive perfume/ cologne, but shower and always have a decent scent. Also try not to wear stained clothes.

Not sure how useful this is, but it’s the first thing I could think of. I’ll come back and edit if I think of more.

[omgstarks]

The Doctor Will See You Now (Stephen Strange x Reader)

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Reader

Summary: Nervous for your first ob-gyn visit, you meet the handsome Doctor Stephen Strange. As he guides you through the examination, a mix of anxiety and attraction brews.

Warnings: SMUT over 18+ ONLY, semi-public sex, creampie, unprotected sex, oral sex (fem receiving)

AN: Just had my first cervical exam so...

“Hi, I’ve got an appointment at 4:00.” You leaned against the counter while the receptionist behind it typed away at her computer.

“Your name?”

“Y/N, L/N”

“Great, I’ve checked you in. If you can have a seat, one of the doctors will come out and call you.” She gave you a reassuring smile. You took a seat in the waiting room. It was a cold, bright room that was illuminated with harsh LED white lights. In the background, played some local radio station. You were feeling anxious. It would be your first time seeing an ob-gyn, and the thought of being bare from the waist down to a complete stranger was intimidating, even more so if the doctor wasn’t a woman.

You looked around the room to see some other patients of all ages waiting. Mostly women, but a handful of men. It was nice to know some men actually cared about their sexual health.

You waited patiently as patients came and went, scrolling through Instagram to past the time or just sitting alone in your thoughts, periodically skipping through songs on Spotify. Suddenly, the big doors leading to the examination rooms swung open, and a man walked through, clipboard in hand. All eyes followed, hopeful to be the next one called.

The doctor, tall, with a slender figure and dark hair graced by white at his temples, wore navy blue scrubs beneath a white lab coat. He wore a face mask which he took off revealing a sharp jawline and high cheek bones.

“Y/N? Y/N L/N.” He spoke in a low baritone voice, scanning the room. You lifted your hand and quickly grabbed your things, standing up to meet him. His eyes met yours, and smiled.

“Hi, I’m Doctor Stephen Strange, and I’ll be conducting the examination and tests with you.”

“Hi,” you replied, a touch more nervous at the realization that your doctor was a man- even worse, an attractive one at that. He looked slightly older than you, probably in his late 30’s early 40’s But his clean-shaven face and styled hair, made him look younger.

“You can follow me this way.” He held the door open for you to walk through and led you down a hallway. You followed him, watching the white coat billowing behind.

“The room is just down here.” He motioned to the examination room at the end of the hall.

“Just take a seat in the blue chair by the computer, please.” You nodded and took a seat, scanning the room you were in. The room was small and sterile, with white walls and tile floors. A single circular window offered a view of the city below. 

On the wall by the door were a couple of large posters. One with the different forms of contraception and the other an infographic of the female reproductive system. Your eyes scanned the poster, and you felt a slight shiver run down your spine. You knew that this doctor would be examining your reproductive system in just a few minutes, and you couldn't help but feel nervous. He was an attractive man- a part of you just hoped you wouldn't embarrass yourself by doing anything inappropriate during your examination.

Doctor Strange sat at the computer, reading up on your record on the clipboard, and he cleared his throat and met your eyes.

“So, how are you feeling today?"

"Good. Just a little nervous." You admitted.

"That's understandable." Doctor Strange said. "But I promise that I'll make this as comfortable as possible for you." You nodded.

“I just have to ask you some questions before we start. Is that okay?”

“Yes.” You replied. He looked back to his computer and pulled up a long form.

“Can you recall when your last menstrual period was?”

“Umm, about two weeks ago.”

“Normal bleeding?”

“It’s been pretty irregular since I had the implant inserted a couple of months ago. I’ve heard it might just be the hormones?” You fiddle with your thumbs.

“Most likely. The progesterone in Nexplanon often induces variations in the menstrual cycle. But we’ll assess and rule out any potential underlying concerns." A reassuring smile accompanied the explanation.

“Great.”

“Are you currently taking any medication or supplements?” 

“No medication, but I am taking some vitamin D supplements.” This earned a small chuckle from him as he typed. “That’s a good idea during this gloomy time.”

“Just trying anything to combat the seasonal depression.” you joked.

“Maybe I’ll give that a shot.” He smirked.

Doctor Strange continued asking you questions, delving into your medical history and current health. He diligently typed your answers into the computer.

Your eyes flickered down to his fingers with each keystroke. His hands were big and the pads of his fingertips were almost the size of the keys themselves. Your eyes roamed up to the prominent veins etched on his hands, and you wondered how they would might feel pressed against your skin-

“And, when was the last time you had sex?” This took you out of your trance. You choked on your breath, a bit startled by the question. You knew it was routine—a standard procedure at a sexual health clinic. Yet, discussing your sexual history with a stranger felt strangely awkward. It was the kind of conversation you'd normally have with your best friend, someone who knew every detail of your life.

“Oh, um, probably 4 months ago.” The thought of your ex boyfriend brought a bad taste to your mouth.

“Was it oral or vaginal?”

“Both.” You said shyly.

“Both.” He murmured under his breath.

“And was the oral sex female or male receiving?”

“Male.” Unfortunately for me.

“Was this with a partner or casual?” 

“A partner- well, a former partner.”

"I'm sorry to hear that," he expressed sympathy. You shrugged, shaking your head.

"No don’t be. It's actually a blessing, more time for other important things."

"Let me guess... Playing the piano and reading?" you quirked an eyebrow.

"Yes..? How did you—"

He pointed to your purse at your on the floor. "You've got a piano keychain on your purse, plus I’d recognize 1984 anywhere. Just putting two and two together."

"You're quite observant."

"It’s what makes me a good doctor," he responded, the trace of a smile lingering on his lips before he cleared his throat and shifted his attention back to the computer.

“So that’s all the questions. I’m just going to take your height, weight and blood pressure before we proceed with the exam. If you can stand on the scale for me.” He motioned over the scale in the corner of the room. After taking your weight, he showed you where to stand to take your height.

“If I can have you here..” He gently placed his hands on either side of your arms and subtly shifted you to the correct position. Standing close, he measured your height, his baritone voice murmuring softly as he read the numbers above your head. His demeanour, a blend of professionalism and subtle warmth, left an intriguing impression on you. Stepping back, he instructed you to take a seat for the blood pressure test.

You nodded and rolled your sleeve up, exposing one of your tattoos. He rolled his chair towards you, taking your arm and wrapping the blood pressure sleeve around your bicep, his eyes flickering down to your tattoo of a treble and bass clef in the shape of a heart.

"That's a lovely tattoo," he complimented with a smile. "Any special meaning?"

“I just love music.” you chuckled. “So much so I’m doing a masters in NYU in Music Theory.” 

“Impressive.” He commented. “I take it you’re quite skilled at playing instruments.”

“Piano mostly. I could probably make it with the violin and the French horn as I grew up playing those as well.” 

“Quite a range. I have a baby grand at home, though my duties as a doctor don't afford much playing time."

"You must play well. No one just has a baby grand in their home. Maybe you’re just as skilled as I am." you teased, earning a smirk.

"Observant, aren't you?"

"You’re rubbing off on me already," you quipped, realizing right after your unintended flirtation. Fortunately, the blood pressure machine's timely interruption spared you the potential embarrassment of Doctor Strange witnessing your flushed face.

"So- Before we proceed with the examination, let me outline the tests we'll be conducting today. We'll check for STIs like gonorrhoea or chlamydia, BV and thrush, HPV, and perform a pap smear and pelvic exam," he explained.

“Okay.” you replied.

Standing, he moved to the other side of the room, drawing back a yellow curtain to reveal an examination table. A crisp white paper sheet ran down its length, with stirrups at the end for leg support.

“So you’ll need to take everything off from the waist down, lie back on the table, and position yourself at the edge," he instructed, tearing off a piece of the sheet. "Here's a covering for you while you're on the table." You nodded, and as you approached the exam table, he closed the curtain to give you some privacy during the undressing process.

"I'll be back shortly with all the necessary supplies," he assured.

"Okay," You responded, and the door closed behind him as he exited the room.

You positioned yourself by the bed, swiftly removing your pants and underwear. Folding them neatly, you placed them on the chair next to the head of the exam table, subtly concealing your underwear beneath your pants.

As you lay back on the table, draping the paper sheet over the exposed lower half of your body, the realization hit you—this was really happening. Your gaze fixated on the light fixture above, and the door creaked open.

You could hear him on the other side of the curtain, likely organizing the tools needed for the examination.

"Just locking the door to ensure privacy during the exam," he informed.

"Okay." The prospect of being alone with him in a locked room, your lower half exposed, triggered a whirlwind of thoughts. It was probably all routine for him. You’re just another patient.

"All set up. Ready for me to pull back the curtain?" he asked.

“Yes, I’m ready.” He pulled back the curtain, looking down at you as you lay before him. Your eyes met his, and this made your thighs twitch a little. He sat down at the other end, between your legs and pulled the table holding all the supplies towards him. 

"Could you shift a bit more towards the edge?"

"Um, yeah, sure." You attempted to move, struggling a bit due to the stirrups.

“I know, I’m sorry, it can be quite difficult,” he reassured, aiding you by holding the stirrups in place, and his hand subtly grazed your inner calf. Eventually, you managed to shift forward enough for him to proceed.

“Now, I’m just going to lift the table up.” He informed you. The table started to move up until you were almost at eye level with him. You laid back, hearing him putting on latex gloves on his hands.

“Before we begin the exam. I’ll be examining the outside of your vagina to make sure that everything looks okay.” You nodded, and you started to feel your face heat up as he pulled back the paper covering you, exposing your vagina to him. You let out a soft exhale as you felt his warm, gloved fingers open and move your vulva to the side. Before you could think much of it, it was over.

“Everything looks good, now for the swab tests. Again, the first test will be the STI screening test, and I’ll be inserting a swab inside your vagina. Shouldn’t hurt, but please let me know if you feel any discomfort.” 

“Sure.” You nodded. You felt a thin object slide into your vagina with ease. He twisted the swab before removing it and placing it in a test tube.

“Next will be the internal exam, I’ll use the speculum to gently widen your vagina so then I can collect a small sample.” You nodded.

“Have you had an internal exam before?”

“No.”

“Would you like to see what it looks like before I start?” You nodded, and he held up the plastic instrument. It looked quite small initially before he started to open it, showing you how it works.

“This might cause some discomfort, so please don’t hesitate to tell me to stop.”

“Okay..” You breathed, laying back down on the table. Before you knew it, you felt the cold, lubed-up plastic tool sliding into your vagina. You took a sharp breath, and your thighs started to quiver. 

“It’s okay, Y/N. Just breathe.” he spoke in a in a soothing manner. You felt a hand on your inner thigh- like that was going to help you relax any more. Your thighs trembled under his touch, all a mix of nervousness, and discomfort and just a hint of arousal as you felt his thumb lightly caressing your inner thigh. You squeezed your eyes shut, lightly gripping the hem of your shirt, trying to focus on your breathing and not so much the discomfort the speculum was causing. 

“You’re doing well.” He spoke as he inserted the small brush to collect the sample from your cervix, then inserted cotton swabs for the other tests. 

“Just one more..”

The last swab test was done, and Doctor Strange closed the speculum and slid it out of you.

“How are you feeling?” You opened your eyes and nodded.

“I’m okay.”

“Would you like to take a break before I proceed with the pelvic exam?”

“I think I’m okay.”

“This shouldn’t cause much discomfort as the speculum, but I’ll be gentle.” He quickly changed out his gloves for a new pair and squirted some lube on his fingers. He placed a hand on your lower stomach before slowly inserting two fingers into you. Oh god- 

“Tell me if this is okay…”

It was more than fucking okay. Not having sex in 3 months was going to be the death of you.

“I-it’s okay.” you stuttered. His hand started to press into your stomach as his fingers moved in a circular motion, palpating the organs within. You felt a slight pressure, but it was not painful, more like a gentle exploration.

The examination continued, Doctor Strange’s movements were precise yet gentle. As if you were an instrument, he was expertly playing. His fingers were thick and felt amazing inside you. No one- not even your stupid past boyfriends had been able to make you feel like this during sex.

The feeling was getting almost overwhelming for you, and it caused you to roll your head back into the exam table and let out a soft moan. Oh fuck.

The silence was broken, with Doctor Strange clearing his throat and withdrawing his fingers from you.

“I-I am so sorry. I- I didn’t mean to do that. God-” You quickly covered yourself with the sheet in shame. You watch as Doctor Strange removed his gloves with a loud pop from the latex before tossing them into the trash. For a moment, he was silent, as if he was trying to assess the awkward situation you had put on him.

He stood up, quickly glancing over to the locked door, before turning his head back over to you, his eyes scanning your bare legs.

“Are you sure?” You raised an eyebrow at him, confused about what he had meant.

“You said you didn’t mean to do that- but why do I get the feeling you were..enjoying it?”

Your face burned, unable to answer his sudden questioning. You tried to deny it, although deep inside, you know his words to be true.

“The way you looked at me this whole time. The way your body has responded to my every touch. Not to mention how soaking wet you were when I put my fingers inside you. Surely you could feel your arousal dripping onto my table?”

He was now towering over you; his cold blue eyes were darkened with lust. 

“I’m sorry about the table.” You gave him an innocent look, which caused him to smirk.

“No, you’re not.”

He shed his coat, tossing it casually beside your neatly folded pants and underwear. Your eyes couldn't help but trace the contours of his arms sculpted with toned muscles, veins subtly weaving along their sides. A lump formed in your throat as you swallowed, caught in a moment of silent admiration for this god-like man standing before you.

He walked back around to the edge of the table. You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch him from between your legs. He looked at you before pulling the curtain close and moving the exam table down a bit. 

“I just need a taste.” He groaned, then buried his head between your legs. 

“Oh fuck-” You breathed out, feeling his mouth envelop you. You let out a shaky breath as he found your clit a moved his tongue across it, softly playing with it with the tip of his tongue. He placed each hand on either side of your thigh to hold you open and keep your hips from moving while his mouth worked on you.

“Talk to me, sweetie.” He said before pushing his tongue inside you. 

“Oh my god..” You groaned, your eyes rolling back. You physically couldn’t speak, not properly, that is.

“Tell me how good this feels.”

“It-it feels so good, Doctor-” You managed to say. He pulled his face away from you for a moment, and you looked down at him, the bottom half of his face wet with your slick- which made him even more sexy.

With his fingers, he traced your slit slowly, watching you twitch every time his finger brushed against your clit. 

“Look at you.” He licked his lips as if he was a starved man. “Look how your body responds to me. No one has ever made you like this, have they? Not even your idiot ex-boyfriend who doesn’t know how to eat cunt.” You vigorously shook your head, wanting him to stop talking and continue where he had left off. You were close, and somehow you knew that he knew that.

“Please. I need more.” You moaned.

He carefully pushed his finger into you, his eyes never leaving yours. He added another finger, watching you carefully, and he curled his fingers up to caress your g-spot. He moved his fingers back and forth in this motion, finding arousal not only from your body but your reactions.

“I can see you’re close, sweetie. Don’t hesitate. Give me a taste of your sweet nectar.”

He leaned back in and found your clit easily- sucking hard then flicking his tongue against the small sensitive bud that immediately sent you over the edge. 

You let out a choked groan, hips buckling against his face as you came and flooded his mouth with your cum.

He removed his mouth from you, and you looked down at him, seeing your arousal drip from his chin. His mouth twitched up in a small smile as he stood. He grabbed the end of his shirt to remove it in one fell swoop. 

“No- wait.” you stopped him. His eyes quickly flicked with concern.

“Um...Can you leave it on..?” He gave you a look of confusion before understanding what you were asking of him.

“Are you saying you want me to fuck you with my scrubs on?”

You nodded shyly, wanting to fulfil the fantasy of fucking a Doctor.

He hid his wide smile and shook his head in disbelief. “Ohh, you dirty girl.” He pushed the waistband of his pants down to his mid-thigh, and you watched his cock, sprang up from out of his boxers. My God was he was thick. When you thought the speculum opened you up too wide, you wondered how his cock would feel stuffed inside you.

“Is this okay?” The lust from his eyes disappeared for a moment when he asked. You reassured him with a nod. 

“All I want is you right now, Doctor.” his eyes darkened once again, and he lined the thick head of his cock at your entrance, using some of your cum as lube. He put one hand on your knee and the other on the base of his cock to steady himself as he pushed inside you. You squeezed your breast as he moved slowly, inch by inch. 

“Shit-” He breathed once he was sheathed inside of you. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his breathing shallowed.

“Are you okay?” He asked once again. 

“I-I’m fine. You’re just too big.” The corner of his mouth twitched, almost like he was proud of his size. Who wouldn’t be?

He rubbed your lower stomach soothingly, saying, “Just breathe, relax your core for me.” You nodded, trying to relax until the pain started to transition into pleasure.

“Okay, you can start moving now.” He nodded. He pulled his hips back a little, watching his cock inch out of you before pushing himself back into your heat. He continued this slow, shallow pace until he could move in with ease.

“Fuck-” You allowed yourself a soft moan, letting your head roll back from his thrusts.

“God, you’re so tight I might actually cum.” He stilled, moving his hands across your legs and touching your skin. 

“I don’t mind.” You winked teasingly.

“And cut all of this short? I’ll fuck you all day if I could.” Your face warmed up at the idea. He rocked his hips back and forth, holding you by your legs to pull you into him. You gripped the sides of the examination table, letting out a guttural groan with his every thrust. You didn’t know it was possible to feel this much pleasure.

“I’m so close, Doctor.”

“Stephen. Call me Stephen.” 

“Cum with me, Stephen, please.” You begged, watching him fuck you in an animalistic nature.

“Oh, Y/N-” After a couple of thrusts, you felt his cock throb inside your walls at the same time, the pressure in your stomach began to roll over. Gripping your thighs tight, he thrust into you one more time as deep as he could, letting his cock pump his cum into you.

His head fell back as his orgasm coursed through him, wave after wave, until Stephen filled you up to the brim. You felt the slick of your combined arousal leak out of you, dripping down between your ass.

He ground his hips to keep his cum from spilling out completely. He looked up from where you two met, and you reciprocated his exhausted smile. Your eyes were glassy with tears from the intense orgasm that had left your body and thighs shaking. His chest heaved deeply with each intake of breath.

Whilst still inside you, Stephen carefully moved your legs from off the stirrups, placing them down on the tabletop carefully. He got on top of you carefully to hold you for just a moment.

He lifted his head to look at you, sweaty and dishevelled. He leaned down to give you a kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips, but it didn’t matter.

“We should do this again.” You broke the silence as he pulled his softening cock out of you. You groaned softly, suddenly feeling empty.

“Oh sweetie, give me at least 10 minutes before we start again.” He laid by your side with a deep groan.

“No, I mean in general, old man.” You teased. “I want to do this again sometime.” 

“Come over for dinner tonight, and I can show you more.” his lips curled into a teasing smile.

“Like your baby grand?” He let out a deep laugh. “Only if you promise to play something for me.”

“Fuck me good, and we’ll see.”

“Oh baby, there’s no doubt about that.” He smirked, pulling you into another deep kiss again. A thought popped into your head, and you pushed him back gently.

“By the way, was everything good..you know, down there?” He responded with a light-hearted chuckle to your unexpected inquiry and gave you a kiss on your temple. 

“Yes, you're perfectly healthy.”

[the---hermit]

21|12|2024

So I haven't posted an update in a while. I have been struggling quite a bit with staying focused and low energy, in addition to getting a cold, which means that I am way behind schedule with my studying. This morning I managed to finally finish reading and underlining the last book for my political institutions exam, but I still have a couple of chapters I need to turn into written notes, and honestly I don't know how to approach this, because I really wanted to take the whole next week to just rest, but also I want to only have to review things after my holiday break. So I really don't know how to deal with things, I might try to finish the notes on Monday and then take a week off. Surely on Monday I will do the tiniest bit of planning just so I know what to expect from my time after the holidays. Because if I do not have a clear picture I know I won't be able to fully relax. I will also have to send a couple of emails and check stuff to subscribe to my exams, but that will be problem for future me. Music has truly been my one saviour in the past few weeks, I don't know what I'd do without it. The way it changes my mood and helps me avoid going into overthinking spirals is pure magic.

Today's productivity:

read first thing in the morning

finished reading and underlining Governo by Paolo Colombo (This was a short but very dense non fiction book on the history and concept of government. It focused a lot on the language, which I didn't expect but found very interesting. As expected the part dealing with more contemporary periods were the ones I struggled with the most. It was definitely well made, but I absolutely despise political history so I kind of struggled at the end. But that is totally a personal thing, I have to admit this is the second book I read in this series focused on political concepts and they are both very well made and curated. The are very dense indeed, but they are clearly made so that anyone can get what they are talking about and the way they both approached the concepts they were analizing in an historical way was really cool since usually when talking about politics people focus on the last century only.)

continued writing notes for the book mentioned above

finished working on a test I have to turn in next week

duolingo

📖: Iliad by Homer, Governo by Paolo Colombo

[so-boredtoday]

Medical appointment

Trafalgar D. Law x fem!reader

Summary: After dealing with menstrual pain for the last few months, you decide to make an appointment with your captain for a check-up.

Word count: 4K almost 5k

Rated: M / NSFW

Tags/warnings: Medical Kink, Doctor/Patient, Dubious consent in the beginning, Sexual health, Fingering, over stimulation, slightly use of pet names, She/Her pronouns, No beta reader we die as cowards, this is not good don’t let the tags fool you.

Author notes: I was thinking about it since forever so here it is ✨ I changed the quotes to hyphens this time and I don't know if it's the best idea but I hope you can understand it. Let me know if it's horrible hahaha… And remember to go to the doctor for a check up at least once a year even if it is not as attractive as Law

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

You had been to the medical wing a couple of times, it had always been simple things like checking some minor battle wounds or for the annual exams, however this was your first time for consultation. Law was sitting at the desk with his white coat on, there were a couple of things that didn't belong to the medical wing: Some half-opened maps, a notepad and a den den mushi, he had brought all those things to keep up with his work while he waited for your arrival for the medical appointment.

– Hello Captain – You said smiling as you approached – I hope I won't take up too much of your time –

He looked at you while shaking his head – That's what I'm here for, I'm the ship's doctor, don't worry about that – His hand went across the desk to point to the chair – Come on, sit down – He continued – How can I help you – He said kindly but without changing his characteristic serious countenance

– I was talking to Ikkaku about my menstrual period... – It wasn't a topic that would embarrass you at all but it was a bit strange to talk about it with Law – I have pain every month and I thought it was something normal you know? But apparently it's not and I wanted to see if you can help me with that –

– You are right, it is not normal however I need more info to be able to determine the cause and give you a treatment – He said while taking notes without looking at you – Does it occur every day of the period? –

– Most of the time yes, however it is stronger on the second and third day – You answered.

– On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain? – He asked looking at you without taking his hand off the paper.

– On a good day... a 6 and on a bad one an 8 – I said grimacing – It's hard to stand up and I feel dizzy, I usually put on some heat and take an analgesic to continue with my tasks – You answered

– It's not very good to self-medicate... – He continued writing without looking at you – That's what I'm here for – He continued as he got up and walked towards the stretcher – Please lie down – You walked, got on the stretcher and looked up at the ceiling.

– I'm going to pull up your blouse to locate the pain zone, are you okay with that? – He said approaching the edge of the gurney.

– Sure – You said without taking your eyes off the ceiling.

– Do you have a regular cycle? – He said as he began to press on your lower stomach.

– Not really... I have spurts of months where it only varies for a couple of days and others where it skipped by almost a month – You answered while his fingers run across your lower belly it was a pleasant feeling – I'd say it's right there – his movements stopped.

– Okay... You can get up – He walked to the desk again – When do you think your period will start? – he asked

– I think in about a week if it's not delayed – you told him as you sat down on the stretcher.

– I need you to record some data for me: The start date, number of days, symptoms such as nausea, night sweats, fatigue but mostly pain and its intensity – He said while opening one of the side drawers to take some gloves – Active sex life?

You blushed a little – Not as active as I would like but yes – You replied automatically regretting your words right after you said them, he gave a small amused laugh in response.

– I'm going to do a little exploration – He said approaching, you looked at him a little alarmed – It may be a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn't be too painful... There are gowns in the first drawer of the bureau. I'll prepare the stretcher you can change behind the screen – He pulled one of the stretcher’s levers as you walked to the bureau and took out the gown.

You started to take off your clothes unsure, this definitely had not been your best idea. It was necessary but you weren't ready for Law to check you. You took a breath as you pulled down your underwear and folded it along with your other clothes, put on the medical gown and walked out.

Law was finishing placing the equipment as you walked to the stretcher – You can go seat now, place your legs on the supports... – He said as he took the chair to sit right in front of the stretcher – This test is called cervical cytology – He said as he put on his gloves without looking at you.

Your legs were open in front of him, again you fixed your gaze to the ceiling without saying a word – For the moment it will only be manual since I don't have the necessary equipment but this way we can check things like the position of your uterus, sensitivity or pain... are you ready? – He ask

– Not really – You said, he didn't say anything but looked at you raising his eyebrows. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath - Okay... I'm ready -

The wheels of his chair rattled against the floor as he approached – I'm going to touch – He began to move his hands across your crotch – I'm going to examine the outside.... Normally this is not painful but please let me know if you have any discomfort – His hands ran over your labia majora slowly, after a few seconds he started to move to the minors, you were breathing slowly trying to imagine anything to distract you until his fingers touched your clit. You opened your eyes and moved backwards with the help of your arms making his hand move away from you - Pain? - He said in a totally professional neutral tone.

– No... it's not painful…it was just a reflex... sorry – You said embarrassed.

– No problem, try to relax and we will finish faster – He said kindly, you went back to take the initial position while breathing – I'm going to touch again. Try not to move – His fingers went back to your clit. He ran it in up and down movements and then a couple of circular movements – It seems that everything is fine – He said while he went down a little towards your entrance that was now a little wet and then give a couple of more circles on your clit, your heart was beating fast inside your chest while you felt how his long fingers rubbed your most sensitive spot.

You closed your eyes and tried to stifle any sound that might come out of your mouth, none of this seemed abnormal to him so you calmed yourself everything is fine. He returned to your entrance and moistened his fingertips to give you a couple of more strokes on your clit, you gasped quietly and then he moved his hands away and turned on the chair to take a bottle from the side table – The flow seems normal for this stage of your cycle – he said as you heard the sound of the liquid coming out of the bottle – I will check the inside now… I’m going to press on your pelvis at the same time... if it needs more lubricant feel free to tell me – he continued – If there is any kind of pain please let me know.

– Okay… – You answered as you took a breath, a warm familiar feeling was forming in your lower belly and you began to feel embarrassed to feel that way.

Law is just doing his job You thought I just have to breathe and it will pass soon

It was then when his fingers brushed your entrance, you swallow nervously trying to stay calm. His left hand rolled your pelvis, his fingers entered without difficulty thanks to his lubricant (and your own wetness).

– Very good – He said suddenly – I'm going to press ok? – you felt how the fingers of his right hand began to digit inside you while the left one pressed on your pelvis – I may have to go in and out a couple of times but it's normal – After a few times of pressing inside he pulled his fingers out and went back in in a slow movement and repeated a couple of times more, an involuntary moan came out of your lips when he brushed a sensitive area inside – Is it painful?... I'm going to press again and let me know the intensity – before you could answer he curled his fingers inside you again pressing that sensitive spot and you let out a needy sigh.

– Law... it's not pain... – You said while breathing heavily.

That he knew perfectly well he had been looking for your sweet spot for a while, he smiled to himself as he saw how your body reacted to his touch. Then suddenly the pressure on your pelvis disappeared, without another word he withdrew his fingers and turned the chair around to grab a towel.

– Everything seems to be excellent – He said in a casual tone ignoring how your chest was rising and falling rapidly – I'm going to clean you so you can change – He passed a paper towel over the area in circular movements with special attention on the upper part – We are done now... I think we have all the drugs available… I'll get them while you change, I'll be back in a second – He said getting up.

You lowered your legs from the supports with difficulty and sat; your cheeks were red and your vision blurred. Clearly it was all part of the examination but your body did not agree with the lack of contact and longed for release. You walked over to the screens to put on your clothes trying to ignore the forming wetness between your legs then you sat in the chair in front of the desk while looking at the stretcher and unconsciously squeezed your thighs together, you let out a frustrated gasp as you waited.

He had entered the medical storage closet, a small room inside the medical wing that was normally kept locked; you looked at the maps to distract yourself from the warm feeling that was tenting your cunt. You slightly heard the tinkling of the glass through the closed door while he was looking for the medicines, a few minutes passed and you heard a little frustrated sigh from Law; maybe we didn't have the drugs after all but after about 5 minutes the door opened. Law entered the office again with a frown on his face with a small metal box in his right hand, but something was missing... his white coat was gone and he was just in his usual attire.

– We have two options... – He said taking a seat while running his hand across his forehead – The first one is simple but has some side effects that could be quite strong and annoying – He continued looking at you – It consists of a hormonal treatment, specifically with contraceptive mechanisms there are several options we can review for you – He turned back to his notes – It would be the simplest way out however we also have option number two – He continued and looked at you again.

–We can try with supplements, changes in your diet and rest cycles, besides reducing stress there are some.... exercises that I would like you to try – His look darkened a little on the last sentence – We will give you a 3 month trial period and if that doesn't work we go back to option one, what do you think? –

You blinked a couple of times processing the information – I like the sound of the second one… I don't really lose anything by trying – You pondered

– Very good – He smiled slightly – Let's create a basic regimen – He opened the box and took out a couple of amber glass bottles – The supplements consist of vitamin b and magnesium that will help you with muscle compression during your period.... – He slid them slowly to your side of the table as he wrote on a new note – One pill of each a day and also recommend that you replace coffee with tea especially chamomile or ginger tea and avoid red meat – You took the bottles and watched him write down when he finished he looked up at you – There is something else... – You looked back at him carefully – I need you to touch yourself – You opened your eyes in surprise and looked at him in confusion.

– I beg your pardon captain? – You said while blushing

– At least once or twice a week… you will see… there are some studies on the effectiveness of masturbation as an agent in controlling the intensity and frequency of menstrual pain – His tone was still serious there was no trace of joking in it – If that doesn't work then we will evaluate hormonal treatment – In one motion he tore off the clinical sheet and handed it to you – Do you have any questions? –

– Is there... is there a problem if I don't... if I don't do the exercises – You asked embarrassed – I share a room with Ikkaku and there is not much time when I am alone – Besides you didn't want to talk about it in the future.

– You can do it here – He said lifting his shoulders – No one will bother you here… Just make sure you close the door and keep the area clean – You looked at him in shock. He was treating it as if it was something usual like putting a bandage or a blood pressure measurement – But…– He looked at you with understanding – If you find it uncomfortable you can skip it, however as a medical professional I suggest you consider it –

You looked away from the medical note – I... will think about it... thank you very much Captain – you said getting up from your seat.

– No problem – He said – Don't forget to monitor your period. I will schedule you for a check-up in two weeks to evaluate the effectiveness of the treatment

– Sure... I won't forget – You told him as you quickly left the room. Law let out a sigh as soon as the door closed, normally he wasn't this kind of person, the medical profession was sacred to him; he had promised his father that he would be a good doctor when he was a kid but it was hard to stay professional when it came to you.

When he scheduled you a medical appointment he never imagined he would end up with his fingers inside your pussy, just remembering it made his pants tighten again.

It had been hard to stop touching you when he could hear the little sighs coming out of your mouth or seeing how your body reacted to his touch and it had been even harder to keep quiet inside the medicine cabinet as he cummed in his hand imagining how he would take you on the gurney, hell he had even had to clean up the mess with his medical coat.

In spite of everything the suggested treatment was not a lie… you needed to relax and a couple of orgasms could help you a lot. He knew perfectly well that you hadn't slept with anyone for months and part of it was his fault; he had scared off most of the people who had any intentions with you and those who had escaped him weren't exactly your type, God knows you were a difficult one and you didn't hesitate to kick the ass of anyone who insisted too much. He gave a frustrated grunt and forced himself to get on with his work.

-

Three days passed since your consultation and things were not going as you expected and that had nothing to do with the supplements or the lack of meatballs in the food. It was rather the fact that it was the second night you had woken up in the middle of the night thanks to a dream in which Law's long fingers were sliding over your clit and his mouth over yours kissing you tightly. The first time you woke up so agitated that Ikkaku thought you were going to die, you looked at her embarrassed and lied to her telling her it had been a nightmare and the second time you had woken up suddenly drenched in sweat around 4 am and couldn't fall asleep again.

You definitely had to do something about it or you would end up totally tired in the middle of the day. You had joined the heart pirates about a year ago, since then your only make out had been behind a bar after drinking a lot and it had ended in a not so satisfactory way; you thought that being a pirate would bring you more opportunities with men however there were not many who were interested in you and clearly you had no intention of repeating that experience so you avoided drunks no matter how attractive they were. It seemed pathetic but after a while you began to accept it, there hadn't been any problems so far.

Sure sometimes you felt horny, especially when you ovulated, however it was something you had coped with calmly but now you couldn't stop thinking about it and the situation got worse when the object of your desire was your captain. The metal floor felt cold on your bare feet as you walked to the medical bay, it was 2 am so you were sure you would be alone; you opened the door cautiously and walked in making sure to close the door.

– It's late... – A voice sounded in the darkness, you shivered even with your hands on the door lock.

– Ca... captain I didn't know you were here – Your gaze wandered to the desk to find him sitting there illuminated only by the dim flickering light of the outside light. What was he doing in the middle of the night with the light off anyway? – I’m sorry… I'll... I'll go back to my room – You said turning your gaze to the door.

– It seems wise but… – He said with a smirk – I thought you didn't want to do your exercises but here you are walking in the dark without shoes... I couldn't hear you until you opened the door – Your face felt hot with embarrassment – Have you had any strange symptoms? – His voice that until now had seemed casual changed to a more serious tone like the one you had heard during the medical appointment. You remained quiet still in front of the door – Well? – He insisted, you turned around to meet his gaze.

– I have a little insomnia, that's all – You lied.

– Then what are you doing here? You could go anywhere else – You opened your mouth to answer but he was quicker – It's not good to lie to your doctor… How will you get well that way? – He opened the drawer to pull out a pair of gloves and moved the chair a bit away from the desk and sat again – Come here – His tone still sounded professional yet there was a spark of mandate that hadn't been there before.

You walked hesitantly to the front of the desk as he put his gloves on. You looked at his hands carefully and after a few seconds you looked away, he did not move from his chair just looked you up and down. You felt totally vulnerable: You were not wearing a bra, just a light blouse with thin straps that barely covered your belly button and elastic shorts, you were on their way to a summer island so it was a little hot.

– I said come here – He tapped the desk a couple of times. You looked at him confused for a moment, but his look seemed serious so you circled the desk cautiously, you positioned yourself between his chair and the desk – Perfect, now sit please – He said looking at you from the chair and you bit your lip nervously while you leaned slightly on the table – Ideally we should do this on the stretcher but we don't want to make too much noise.... as I say it's late – He repeated and then his covered hand stretched towards you until it touched the inside of your knee – I suggest you sit or you will fall – You sat up fully and his hand started to move up on your bare thighs – I'm going to show you how to do it properly – Your breathing started to quicken.

His hand caressed your thighs going up slowly until he reached the bottom of the fabric that now it seemed to be too short – Oh pretty cute – He said while he played with the small lace that adorned the edges of the bastille and with a slow movement he began to caress your crotch on the fabric with his right hand while his left hand continued to go up and down on your thighs. After a few seconds a sigh left your mouth as his hands worked masterfully over your clothes, you closed your eyes.

It's not real You thought trying to flooded your mind I am dreaming

His hand went inside your shorts and caressed over your underwear that was starting to get wet – Let's take this off – He said in a neutral tone.

You opened your eyes and met him, there were a couple of things you hadn't noticed: his hair was a little messy and his shirt had all the buttons open. You leaned on your feet and slid the fabric down your hips to the floor, nervously you sat back on the desk with your legs closed – Excellent – He indicated, you hesitated a few seconds until you felt his hand on your knee – I need you to open your legs again – You opened them slowly. He positioned himself again in the center – I want you to watch carefully – His hands went up your thighs cautiously until they reached your pussy, the tip of his fingers began to trace the shape of your labia majora until he went to the a little up where he found your clit – We are going to work your clit today.... I'm going to show you how and then you'll do it for yourself – He made a circular motion over your sensitive skin and then down to your entrance – You're pretty wet so we can work with that – He moistened his fingers at your entrance and returned to your clit just like he had done during the exam.

– Let's play with a medium pressure in a circular way to stimulate you – you let out a sigh when his fingers started to move – Like this... it feels good doesn't it? – You nodded looking at him as his fingers were sliding creating a delicious friction – I prefer the answers to be verbal, let's try, shall we? – He said looking into your eyes

– Yes... yes captain – You said with difficulty.

– Very good girl, you are an excellent patient – He answered pleased – Now we are going to alternate with ascending and descending movements, these are going to be in a faster rhythm – As soon as his movements changed your breathing instantly became agitated, he looked at you and smiled. You started to feel more aroused, you fully open your legs to allowed him to moisten his fingers with your juices making the rhythm accelerate. You began to gasp and suddenly he returned to the initial slow gyrating rhythm causing an electric sensation to rise from your pussy to your lower stomach and you let out a low moan – How was that? Did you feel it? – He loved to watch you fall apart in his hands.

– We... well... yes it was very good – You tried to gather your thoughts but he started to pick up the pace again.

– It's called edging – He said – Let's do it a couple more times – With that you began to feel the pressure build up again – That’s it... very good – His left hand left your thigh and rested in his lap without stopping touching you.

You let out a needy moan – Are you close honey? – the pet name had escaped him as his professional side was beginning to slip. Then just as the knot was about to loosen inside you he pulled his hand away, a sound of frustration left your lips and you began to tremble.

– Please... – you said looking at him imploringly – please captain....–

– Look at this, you're soaking wet darling – he patted a couple of times over pussy and got his fingers wet from your entrance – Alright... let's make you cum – He started touching you again making circular movements in a medium rhythm, at some point the hand in his lap started moving over his length.

Your arms began to give out and you had to lean your elbows on the desk – Captain... damn it – his fingers moved mercilessly over your clit, you could feel the spasms of your orgasm building inside you. Your eyes closed, your hips shook and your breathing became erratic.

– Don't hold back – He told you in a growl, you let out a high pitched scream and then you saw stars. The warm sensation spread through your lower stomach and you flexed your knees trying to close your legs – No... let's spread it – his other hand came back to you to keep your legs open and he looked at you without stopping touching you, you were trembling from the over stimulation you couldn't hold yourself anymore and you leaned back completely on the desk.

One of your hands took his with a weak grip to stop the movements – I can't... I... it's too much – You said pleadingly, his eyes were darker than usual and looked at you hungrily, for a moment you thought he was going to get angry but he just smiled. He lifted his wet hand and put it in your mouth, you moaned into his fingers as you tasted yourself, he pumped a couple of times and pulled them out without further creating a trail of saliva.

– Perfect – He said as he settled back in his chair, took off his gloves and threw them into the trash can – Let's rest for a moment – You tried to understand his words as you regulated your breathing with difficulty – You have to show me that you can do it alone – A few minutes passed and just when the endorphins began to leave your body, reality fell upon you.

Clearly this was not a dream, you were practically naked in the medical bay in front of him, he had touched you and you had the best orgasm of your fucking life. You began to get up gingerly, Law looked up from the chair without saying anything; your feet touched the floor and your trembling legs struggled to support you.

– I'm waiting honey – He said without taking any notice of your attempt to run away – Show me what you learned and you'll be free to go –

The button of his jeans was open and the zipper down, his erection was noticeable – Law… – His name sounded glorious on your lips.

– Be a good girl and show me – He interrupted you. His hand began to move over his boxers revealing his erection, you lost your breath as he began to slowly stroke and it was huge and curved slightly upwards. You feel yourself craving for him.

The heat was starting to build up between your legs again, you licked your lips and closed your eyes to take a breath. You leaned back on the desk and spread your legs, your hand went to your pussy; you started to slowly caress it, feeling small shivers. Two of your fingers were making circular movements over your clit and you opened your eyes… He was watching you from the chair with his hand on his cock, you started to tremble as you accelerated the rhythm – That darling, very nice – His hand was sliding down his shaft following the rhythm of your movements – Now slower... – Your pussy protested with a spasm when you stopped to slow down the rhythm.

– Holy shit... – You said in a low voice while trying to recover your eyes couldn't stop looking at him. He was breathing heavily, his eyes were fixed on you, he let out a small sigh when you started again and ran his other hand through his hair to see you clearly.

You speed up the rhythm again at his image, that was all, you didn't intend to make it longer or you were going to faint. With linear movements you traced a fast rhythm over your clit, your legs trembled as the orgasm began to form inside you – Slowly – He said with a grunt, you could see how the pre seminal fluid adorned his tip.

You decided that was enough, your rhythm remained steady until you climaxed closing your eyes. You were a difficult person, he knew that and making you follow instructions sometimes was not easy. However he was also quite close, he stroked faster and after a few moments he cum at the sight of your body sunk in ecstasy, he could punish you later.

Both of you were breathing heavily as you recovered, after a moment you heard him get up but you didn't open your eyes. After a while you felt something soft between your legs: he was cleaning you.

– Not listening to your doctor can have consequences – He said seriously – Especially if he is also your captain –

– It was quite a difficult task… – you answered between breaths.

– You're going to have to put more effort into it tomorrow – he replied as he helped you up.

You looked at him as he lifted your clothes off the floor and helped you put them back on – 02:00 am – He said putting his hands on your hips and looked you in the eyes – Now rest and remember to drink plenty of water to recover fluids – With that he walked away.

[huckleberrykai]

choi beomgyu ~ not so secret

pairing: beomgyu x fem!reader summary: secretly dating someone in a house of six people isn't easy - especially when you wander out of his bedroom wearing nothing but his shirt. genre: college au, secret relationship, best friends to lovers, romcom vibes lol, suggestive but no actual smut warnings: kissing, implied sex, mentions of peeing lol, swearing word count: 1.7k click here for my masterlist!

when you and your three best friends from high school all managed to get into the same college as your two older friends who graduated before you, you all knew what you had to do.

move in together of course <3

your new apartment wasn't perfect. there was only four bedrooms for six people and only one shared bathroom - which wasn't ideal. you loved it though, you got to move out and live with your best friends - who cared if you all had to fight over the bathroom every morning?

being the only girl, you got your own bedroom by default for your own comfort. you didn't particularly mind, you were comfortable enough with your friends to not feel any pressure to dress well around the house or be 'ladylike' - you could manspread to your heart's content and you knew they wouldn't care - but you definitely weren't going to argue with getting a decent sized bedroom all to yourself with no argument.

the others played rock paper scissors to decide who would get the other room and not have to share - beomgyu won, and they decided it was only fair he got the smallest room, which honestly was more like a glorified closet, but he seemed content with it. taehyun decided to room with kai, and yeonjun roomed with soobin.

finally getting to reconnect with your friends who were in their 2nd year of college was exciting since you missed them dearly once they graduated. you did miss one of them a little more than the others though...

everything was going great for the first couple of months, minus the bathroom arguments until one teeny tiny minor thing changed.

you and beomgyu started dating.

you had liked each other even in high school and had a flirty friendship the whole time, and so you were overjoyed when he kissed you in the kitchen at 4am on a tuesday.

you agreed to be his girlfriend under the pretence that nobody else could know - at least for a little while. you didn't want to lie to your friends, but both of you knew you'd be teased endlessly, and you just wanted a little while to settle into your relationship before you let anyone else know.

and so that you did. the two of you thrived on stolen kisses and longing glances, dedicating any free time you had to each other, cuddling in bed and letting out everything you'd had to hold back when the boys were around.

then there was the incident.

beomgyu got an email at the beginning of the week to let him know his professor got sick and that classes had been cancelled until thursday. conveniently, you didn't have classes at all that week since it was a study period for an exam you had coming the week after. it was tuesday, and you knew yeonjun danced late on tuesday nights. soobin and taehyun had some lab work they needed to do in the evening after their classes, and kai planned to go see his family since he took the same classes as beomgyu and wanted to relax during his free time since classes were cancelled.

it had been a while since you and beomgyu had spent some... quality time together - and so the second the last person went out the door that day, he dragged you into his room and pushed you up against the door.

he pressed his lips to yours and let his hands wander down to your ass, giving it a squeeze as he pushed his body further into you.

"ah- gyu," you breathed out when he broke away to start feathering kisses down your neck. "maybe we should go somewhere else... they could be back at any time you know."

it wasn't the first time you'd been with him, but the two of you avoided being intimate in the apartment for obvious reasons. neither of you were particularly quiet and it was better safe than sorry. on this occasion though, beomgyu was very needy and honestly didn't give a flying fuck who heard you.

"i don't care." he whispered against your neck, finding your sweet spot and beginning to suck a hickey into your neck. a breathy moan slipped past you lips- "but what if they hear us?"

he pulled away from your neck, hooking his finger under your chin and looking directly into your eyes with a sly smirk.

"then be a good girl and be quiet for me hm?"

you awoke to the sound of a bird chirping on beomgyu's windowsill and the light shining in your eyes from the crack in his curtains. you didn't mean to fall asleep with beomgyu - you had an unwritten rule about sleeping in each other's rooms - but you'd spent almost the entire day in there yesterday, only leaving to grab your food from the delivery man and go to the bathroom.

you felt sore and sleepy as you wiggled out of beomgyu's grasp and sat up. you checked the time on his alarm clock - 10:36am.

you really needed to pee.

still in your sleepy daze, you grabbed your underwear from the floor and the first piece of clothing you could find to cover yourself up with and waddled through the apartment to get to the bathroom. empty! score.

while you were in the bathroom, you didn't hear kai and taehyun emerging from their bedroom and talking about their activities from the day before. kai had made plans to go see his cousin today, and taehyun and soobin were supposed to have a class together at 11:30. they were standing in the living room when yeonjun came crashing through the front door, explaining how he'd left his dance shoes at home and needed them for his class later. soobin emerged eventually too and they were all sitting in the living room, organising their backpacks and waiting on whoever was in the bathroom to leave so they could use it.

still weary-eyed and half asleep, you emerged from the bathroom - not noticing your audience until kai's cheery voice sounded out. "good morning Y/N!" you turned to them with a wave. "wait.. is that beomgyu's shirt?"

confused, you looked down at your attire.

oh. oh shit.

you were wearing nothing but your underwear and beomgyu's long black band shirt. the exact one he was wearing yesterday. "i- uh?"

you were much more awake now, but your brain was still failing you on a good excuse as to why you were so scantily clad, in beomgyu's clothes no less.

just as you were about to spew out some bullshit about him lending you it, another voice came into the room. "Y/N?"

he was clearly still sleepy, rubbing his eye and yawning as he showed up in the doorway of his room. your head snapped to look at him and you could have died from embarrassment when you noticed he hadn't even bothered to half dress himself, standing there in only his boxers.

"oh my god." yeonjun chimed in, finally finished stuffing his dance shoes into his bag and looking between the two of you. "DID YOU GUYS FU-" "YEONJUN!" soobin cut him off. "are... are you guys together?"

at the sound of the commotion, beomgyu came around, blinking as his eyes properly adjusted to the light. his eyes widened as soon as they found you in your... outfit. "oh my god," he sighed, turning to bang his head against the wall next to him.

"since when has this been a thing??" taehyun spoke up.

"uh... since last night?" you answered, more of a question than an answer.

"so you are together." soobin clarified. beomgyu turned from his dramatics and looked at you, "may as well just tell them. we can't get out of this one," he laughed. you rolled your eyes.

"we've been together for a few months," you admitted. "three months and sixteen days." you turned to glare at your boyfriend, who looked intimidated by your gaze. "not that i'm counting or anything..." he shrugged.

your friends' jaws hung open as you buried you face in your hands, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"why didn't you tell us? congrats!" yeonjun smiled. "yeah! we're so happy for you guys!" kai added on.

"you probably had a reason for not telling us so we won't pry, but we hope you're happy together," taehyun sent you a warm smile as beomgyu came up behind you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"we're really happy for you! just um... try to be quiet when you- you know," you nodded, not wanting to hear soobin talk about you fucking your boyfriend. "you know..." taehyun started, "we probably should have noticed before - you two are always acting weird and staring at eachother. i just put it down to beomgyu never getting over his high school crush but now that i think about it..."

"annnd let's change the subject!" you interjected. the man beside you let out his signature laugh and squeezed your shoulder. you gave him an agitated smile before shrugging his arm from your shoulder and pushing him backwards with your hands on his bare chest - back to his room. "come on, time to get dressed!"

you heard the echo of your friends' laughter as you pushed him into his room, following him in and closing the door behind you.

"well that went well!" he grinned, holding back his laughs. you playfully punched him in the shoulder and gave him an exasperated reply, "i can't believe you!"

"what? you were the one who went out in only your underwear and MY shirt??" he pointed out. "i was going to the bathroom! and borrowing a friend's clothes is normal!" you defended. "you don't think it was your fault? did you forget it's the morning and they were probably out there awake? and imagine how it looked when you walked out in your underwear and looking for me??" he laughed, cupping your jaw and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "don't panic, they know now, and everything's fine!"

you sighed, nestling yourself into his chest as his arms wrapped around you. "i guess you're right. at least we can spend more time together now and we don't have to sneak around," you smiled up at him shyly. he kissed your nose and smiled back fondly. "i love you Y/N." "i love you too gyu."

"you know... you should wear my shirts more often. you look hot."

"don't push it."

[xxtani16]

Now that EPIC is fully out, I think I'd like to write this.

This is a Thank you for this community. All of you. A Thank you for this fandom, that is one of the best I have ever been a part of.

When I first found out about Epic months ago (thanks to Tumblr, mostly. So, I owe you, guys) I was living through one of the worst periods of my life.

I felt spent. I felt like I woke up more tired than when I went to sleep. I couldn't see a reason to go on. Nothing to look forward to. I hadn't read a book just for the fun of it in five years. 8 hadn't interacted actively with any fandom in almost as much time.

I didn't even remember what feeling excited about something felt.

Then I found EPIC.

At first it was only some nice music to escape in. Something that didn't make me feel guilty for indulging in it.

Then I realized the sagas were still coming out. And for the first time in years I WANTED something for my future. I wanted to see those. I wanted to hear those.

EPIC gave me a reason to get out of bed. It gave me something to look forward to.

This fandom. How supportive everyone is... You reminded me what being part of a fandom was. You made me want to be part of it again.

You made me WANT to stay up till 4 am just to participate in the live streams. I had an exam the day after the Wisdom Saga release, and for once, I was not anxious about it, but excited for the new saga.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a bad day. I put on EPIC in instinct. And then the day wasn't so bad anymore. And I realized something: It was the first bad day I had had in nearly two months.

I won't say it was only EPIC that brought me out of that state. But I can say EPIC was the first thing that helped me, the first to give me a reason to get out of bed.

So, when I say I can't never thank this community enough, I mean it. With all my heart

[thebluntstudent]

FIVE TIPS FOR STUDYING WHEN ILL OR OTHERWISE INCONVENIENCED...

disclaimer: when at all possible, you should always prioritise physical and mental wellbeing over a good grade. If you are seriously ill to the point where it is heavily impeding your capacity to study, you are not fit to take an exam, or write an essay, and I hope your educational institute has measures for exceptional circumstances/extensions/deferrals to allow you to do so! Alas, it isn't always possible to do the ideal thing in life, and that is where my experience comes into play.

°•☆•°

Sometimes you find yourself in a crappy predicament a couple weeks before an essay is due, or an exam is scheduled, and you find yourself slipping further away from the stacl of textbooks on your desk, and closer to the comforts of your bed and the rest you really wish you had the time to make the most of.

Right now, my hormones are currently out of whack in a way that could meaning anything from (the most likely cause) PCOS to perimenopause at 22 to plenty of other less likely possibilities I'd rather not dwell on. This means that sitting up for more than 5-10 minutes in the same position sends my abdomen into spasms and sharp pains, and generally existing hour to hour is a painful, emotional, hot-flush filled experience.

That being said, I have an exam in a few days, and since deferral is not an option for me (this is my last attempt, I can't take any more time off of uni, my last attempt was last year during a period of several losses that occurred on an interruption year I had taken due to burn-out and unresolved trauma sliding into my life- you get where I'm going with the 'sometimes life is a bitch and your general and academic life can't be pretty and pristine' bit) I have been doing my best to balance comfort and productivity in a way that helps me look out for what I need right now whilst still getting in as much revisiom as I'm able to.

So! I thought I'd share my little tips for building a comfy study space when conditions are not ideal but you still gotta keep moving:

• abandon the 'do not study in bed' tip, but only for as long as it helps you as opposed to hindering you. I have tried sittimg up at a desk with pillows and blankets swathing me- and all I get for it is hefty back pain and constant awkward readjustments every time I start heating up or shift around in my seat too much. If you're ill, you aren't doing yourself any good sitting hunched over a desk either- and frankly your sleep is probably going to be buggered until you're feeling better anyways. So, if sitting at a desk is putting you off, prop up some pillows, rest your writing materials on a hard surface (a folder, an A4 hardback- a chopping board works for a cute wannabe lap desk too), and set a zone of your bed aside (or just use a bedside cabinet if you have one) for anything you'll be using fairly often- by which I mean stationary, textbooks you'll be using over the course of the next hour or so- just enough stuff to save you constantly getting up out of your comfy study bubble.

• listen to tesco: every little helps. What I like to do to get myself going when I'm feeling naff- which works also if you're simply having a difficult time focusing yourself for the day- is to do micro pomodoro sessions, where I'll dedicate myself to 5 minutes minimum of focused study. If I really can't bring myself to continue longer than 5 minutes, I'll let myself rest for a little while (up to 20-30 minutes) before getting myself to do another micro session. This may not seem very productive, but you are more likely to do a good hour of work on a bad day when you tell yourself you only need to do little 5 minute sessions, than procrastinating studying because you feel as if you'll have to sit up and focus for a much longer period of time for it to count. Every. Little. Helps. In 5 minutes you can run through a topic of flash cards, do a slide of lecture notes, answer small exam questions, do a page or two of readings- and on a good day, that 5 minutes might turn into 10 with a small break, then 15, then you'll find yourself picking up your regular pace in no time! But again, even 5 minutes, just one little session, is a win when the world is throwing hurdles at you <3

• maximise your comfort: you know the little things that bring you joy, and you don't habe to be rolling in cash to surround yourself with little things to keep you going when all you want to do is sleep. My current comforts are the loyal presence of my cat next to me, a few old blankets I can swaddle myself in to stare at the ceiling when my ovaries are throwing a tantrum, a little variety of teas (currently rocking a chai latte with home bargains vanilla syrup, girl gotta have her sweet relief), a pack of energy drinks, some painkillers, and a little incense tray nearby that I forget to use 70% of the time (though the remaining 30% makes up for that). None of this is in particular mandatory- if it were, the dog people of the world would be doomed. The point is, find your little comforts- an activity you can do from the comfort of your bed like a puzzle, sensory toy or just a book to doodle in, a certain type of drink or snack you really love, some smellies (perfume, incense, candles, wax melts, and so on), supplies for whatever ails you- little personal things to relax you whilst you try to gather your energy.

• Now is not the time to push it. I tend to find the times in which I am most likely to push myself past my limits are the times in whicj something is inhibiting me- the frustration of being bed-bound, fatigued due to chronic conditions, etc tends to make me feel even more than usual that I am not doing enough because of my awareness of my present restrictions. Though this post is about pusning through bad times, you should be doing so with self-compassion, and with the mindset that every little bit you achieve in your current state is a win, a bonus, even if you find yourself unable to work to the same standard as normal. You aren't well- you aren't supposed to be functioning at 100% because your body is only functioning at 50%, and if you want to get back to your regular stressed student self you need to rest! Remember that a slightly lower grade than you were expecting in the short-term is not a reflection on your character, and it's better to *be* better for the long-term than to work yourself into a ditch and burn-out when you are already at a low point.

• If healthy study you is a carefully rehearsed play, then sick study you is a completely improvised show. Don't knock the analogy, even if it is silly and obscure- when I am at my peak, I will time-block my studies, plan to do certain topics on certain days, do 30-5 or 50-10 study sessions, work during a set period from the morning to the mid afternoon.

When I am ill, I do not know when I will be unable to sit up to work. I do not know when I will be able to sleep, to stomach food, to concentrate- so I have to accept that the normal routines that keep me consistent have to be chucked in the bin for the time being. Instead of planning my whole day, I create a vague, rough outline of the next few things I want to get done. This way, I don't feel crushed when I start working on lecture notes and find myself flat out on my back crying 10 minutes later- I just pick up where I left off when I'm ready, and work in increments from there.

°•☆•°

Right now my sleep is a bit fudgy because of night sweats/panics and p a i n, and by building a cosy space and letting my plans adapt to my body's needs I've managed to get 3 hrs of lecture notes, 2 sets of flashcards, and a set of logic practise questkons done over night between 8pm-4:30am. If I had tried to stick to my regular 'good day' study routine, I don't think I would have lasted 15 minutes before giving up and crawling over to youtube with a bowl of white chocolate and a horlicks in hand.

It is this kind of adaptability to external conditions that allowed me to survive an unstable home situation during college that meant weeks without wifi, constantly moving between different homes and constant fear of eviction due to family debts I was too young to do anything about- and allowed me to get into the top university in London* as a working class girly from a council estate.

I was given the opportunity to do an extra year at college for free due to these circumstances and a great support network within the institute to make sure I got into the specific university that I wanted to, and I had to take an interruption after my firdt yesr of university because I am not a super-human, and I knew my limits- but I'm still going, and the time away I've had has paid off and gotten me back to my scrappy, chaotic, passionately nerdy self.

You can be messy and be a good student too- and you can get through the worst of times with a little adaptability, perseverance, a good support network and a little self care ♡

*Times Good University Guide, 2024.

[spilledcoffeeclub]

Test-printed my stickers! What do you think?

Been working on sticker for a couple of weeks now. Original plan was to make sort of daily numbered stickers for the month of August but I just didn’t have time to make them before August and I have a lot of school work so maybe another month.

Was also supposed to make sort of a dashboard/divider for August but again, no time.

So instead I’m working on just a late summer sticker sheet. Would really appreciate people’s input, just what you like about the stickers and what you don’t like and what you like/dislike about stickers in general. Can’t promise I’ll make any big changes for now but I will value your opinion anyway. I’m quite happy with them so far!

End of July has been quite rough, my neighbor has been loud (it’s an ongoing thing) and I’ve been subjected to Swedish summer hits blasting me basically around the clock. The situation is done for now, but this has effected my autistic inertia and studying quite a lot and now I have three exams - two of which are quite important - in the next two weeks and I’m quite behind. I usually manage okay even when I have these periods but it’s gonna be stressful.

I also got into my program! Don’t remember if I’ve spoken about this before but I was given a reserved spot at my program for uni this fall - meaning I got into the program but can only join if x nr of people decline. It looked quite bleak for a while and I was very sad but then a week ago I finally got accepted for real! Gonna be reading and writing for the next three years!

When I’m not studying I’m playing tears of the kingdom finally. I’m a bit late but breath of the wild was so big and I hyperfixated on it for like a month and really allowed it to ruin my life lol so I was a bit hesitant to just dive into it. For now it feels like a good way to relax between study sessions. I don’t have time to play all day so it feels more manageable. Anyone playing totk?

Hope you are all doing okay! I’m really grateful for all the people on here liking my stuff, it’s just what I wanted when getting this app and being more active.

[s0va-idalin]

Over the years, I've collected some headcanons about Ishimondo:

• Kiyotaka can say “I love you” at a completely unexpected moment in a conversation, even if it is the MOST inopportune moment. All for the reason “I thought about what an interesting person you are. As a result, I concluded that I love you very much.” Owada constantly falls into a stupor because of this (God forbid he hears this while driving a bike).

This also applies if they were just bros. Only “bro” was added to “I love you.”

Meanwhile, Mondo VERY rarely says anything cute. Owada is more of a tactile person.

• The two may start hugging each other. Long and tight, until at a certain moment they mentally begin to argue “who will hug you tighter.” This ends with Kiyotaka's half-broken back and Mondo almost strangled. They have not yet learned to hug each other tenderly

• Everyone in this world needs affection, even the rudest guys in the world. The stereotype about the cute hobbies of menacing bikers did not escape Owada. We all know that he loves dogs, especially cute ones like his old pet Chuck. Most of the time, Mondo is seen as being aggressive and such, but one certain day in the month, he becomes, well, REALLY loving, and he can't do anything about it. He himself knows this very well and therefore skips school during such a period. This happened too often and suspiciously in Kiyotaka's opinion, and therefore, despite all his fears and morals, he decided to find out what Owada was really doing. It turned out that at such moments, he goes to dog shelters, buys huge bags of food for them, and, in return, asks volunteers to cuddle puppies. And it really works! Some workers even remember Mondo and are happy to see him. After such an “exposure”, Owada will ask not to tell anything like that to the others because it “does not suit his image” and Ishimaru will understand him. And now Mondo can share his impressions of cute dogs with his bro. In the future, during such periods, Owada will begin to show attention not only to the puppies but also to the Moral Compass himself.

• Meanwhile, Ishimaru experiences almost the same thing, but in reverse: One week a month (usually the week of exams), the guy becomes TOO nervous, which makes some people suspect that he will be ready to kill a delinquent right in the corridors of the Academy.

And it will be a lot of fun if Mondo and Kiyotaka have their weird periods coincide at the same moment.

• I have already written a couple of times that Kiyotaka loves white, mints and pearls.

• Kiyotaka has very little imagination, and therefore he writes his essays as documents.

Mondo has no problems with this; in principle, literature comes easily to him. He's just too lazy to read the classics.

• Kiyotaka prefers not to have animals, because they require precious time, but fish would be the best option for him. He would carefully study the issue according to their content. As it were, fish do not need to devote as much time as cats or dogs, you just need to allocate one day a week (for example, weekends) for cleaning the aquarium and literally a couple of minutes a day for feeding the fish.

• Kiyotaka, unnoticed by himself, speaks much more quietly around people dear to him. Because he knows that they will always hear him.

• Mondo's favorite time of year is summer. It’s warm in the summer, bike season, it’s easier to build something in the summer (he wants to become a carpenter), both he and his best friend have summer birthdays.

• As a child, Mondo was a fan of strong women (Undyne from Undertale, Garnet from Steven Universe, etc)

Well... That's all for now. Thanks for reading!

[moonchildreads]

small town

Chapter 19 - We Built This City

IN THIS CHAPTER: Finals week, a friendly invitation, and the Hellfire Class of 86' takes a bow [7.6k]

WARNINGS: vague foreshadowing, mentions of fantasy violence? they play dnd, it's not real (again, taking the liberty of making them play 5e because i wasn't about to learn advanced dnd for this when i already play 5e)

A/N: whew! didn't think i'd ever get to finish this one lol. huge HUGE shout out to @gutterratt, who not only is a wonderful friend i was hugging and sharing the same air with just a few days ago, but also my dm (the best dm in the world, don't @ me). this chapter would have been impossible without your guidance, knowledge, and support. thank you for teaching me to dm through eddie. also shout out to brian murphy and NADDPOD for the inspiration for this chapter! check them out on spotify if you like dnd podcasts, they deserve all the love they get. onto the update!

masterlist - prev - next | playlist

We just want to dance here Someone stole the stage They call us irresponsible Write us off the page

Wednesday, May 28th - 1986

Finals week in Hawkins High was going pretty well or terribly wrong depending on who you asked. On Monday, freshman Cindy Jackson had come out of her Geography classroom sobbing, claiming that she had flunked the entire test and her GPA was going to fall drastically below average. Dustin and Mike had simply stepped around her in the hallway and headed to the parking lot to get their bikes without sparing a single thought for her. Eddie couldn’t believe how calm he felt whenever he sat down at his desk and a new test was placed in front of him. By the time Wednesday lunch period was upon them, he had already taken four of his six final exams, Dottie had taken five of her nine, and band practice had been suspended so everyone could study for tomorrow’s new round of tests, or in Eddie’s case, put the finishing touches to their upcoming D&D Friday session.

So far, their plan to stick to each other and not walk around the school alone like sitting ducks for the bullies had been working. Dottie only shared one class with Andy Humphrey, and it seemed that her threat to rat him out to their teacher had worked because no one in the basketball team had bothered them since then. At least, not any more than the usual jeers and disgusted glances they so often directed to her friends in Hellfire. Eddie had been keeping a low profile for the past couple of months, his entire thought process having been claimed by his ever growing crush on a certain short curly-haired girl; his frequent tirades in the cafeteria had been reduced to only one loud proclamation in the hallways every couple of weeks, and to be completely honest, no one cared about him or his unconventional opinions so close to the end of the school year, so him suddenly turning into a wallflower hadn’t really been noteworthy to his peers. Everyone just simply assumed that he was stressed about failing senior year for the third time in a row and left him alone to his devices.

When the group compared schedules on Monday and saw that Dottie was going to be headed to the same lecture as Andy three times that week, it was quickly decided that Donny would be her guardian since his Italian lessons were at the same time she’d be taking AP Spanish in the classroom opposite of his. Dustin and Mike were to be inseparable, and when they had different schedules, Mike was supposed to shadow Nancy as much as he could while Dustin stuck to Jeff on their way to the east wing for their respective classes. Eddie watched over Dottie like a hawk during their shared free periods, going so far as to stand outside the girls’ bathroom while she went about her private business in case any idiot got strange ideas about cornering her in a place where she was supposed to be safe. Ms. Kelly had looked very surprised to see all six boys waiting for Dottie to come out of their latest check-in session; it was strange to see how subdued they had all gotten in recent months and she knew it had everything to do with the sunshine girl that happily linked arms with the freshmen, Dustin excitedly skipping alongside her down the hallway while Mike dragged his feet next to them in protest.

It was, perhaps, that false sense of security that had her approaching the basketball team’s table after students had begun trickling out of the cafeteria, surely headed to their last classes of the day. Donny was supposed to safeguard her on their way to her second AP Spanish class of the week, but he had asked her to please wait for him near the teachers while he excused himself to the bathroom and promptly left her alone. When Dottie realized Andy wasn’t seated at the jock-filled table but one Lucas Sinclair was, she quickly forgot about her friends’ insistent requests to “lay low” until the school year was over and headed towards him without a second thought entering her mind. She stopped right in front of the freshman who eyed her curiously, brows raised in an unspoken question.

“Hi! You’re Lucas, right?” Dottie said, smiling brightly.

“Uh, yeah, I’m Lucas.”

“Nice to meet you! Would you mind giving these to Erica for me, please?” she extended her closed fist towards him and he instinctively held his palm open for her. Two pieces of shiny plastic hit his skin softly; he recognized them as part of his old dice set, the one he assumed had been gathering dust tucked away in his bedroom. “I must have accidentally taken them with me a couple of weeks ago - I would give them to her myself but I won’t see her until Friday and it’d suck if she bought a new set because she thought she lost these.”

“Yeah, that would really suck,” he chuckled uncomfortably, shifting in his seat knowing his new friends were watching the uncommon interaction unfold. “I’ll give them to her for you, don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you so much! Here, for your troubles,” she gave him a pack of Smarties as payment in kind. “See you around!”

“Thanks,” he managed to mutter before she bolted out of the room and into the hallway in search of Donny.

Lucas stared at the candy bag in his hand next to one d20 and one d4 that had belonged to him a couple of months before. They were black with gold numbers that he’d repainted himself with one of Will’s thinnest brushes, trying his hardest to cover the tacky white underneath. He hadn’t opened his D&D box in a while, the hard plastic container hidden away underneath his bed and pushed all the way back until it touched the wall. He’d yell at Erica for touching and stealing his things, but that would have meant admitting that he still cared about the part of him he’d been trying so hard to deny lately and he couldn’t allow himself to fail like that. Lucas was tired of being the bigger man; let his former friends apologize to him for once. Though, as days went on, he was starting to realize that maybe they would never come back at all.

“How do you know that chick?” asked Chance, one of his seniors.

“I don’t,” Lucas replied quickly. “I don’t have classes with her.”

“She’s a senior,” Patrick said. “I’m with her in English. She always sits with that Munson freak.”

“What does she want with you? Who’s Erica?”

“Erica, she’s my little sister. She wanted to return some dice to her, I think they are in a club together, I don’t know,” Lucas said, but he did know. He’d noticed Dottie sitting at lunch with his club members, he’d seen her wearing the same Hellfire shirt he owned, he’d heard Erica talk about her to their Mom. Lucas Sinclair knew exactly who Dorothy Burke was.

“Isn’t your sister like… eight?” Chance laughed.

“Eleven,” the freshman corrected him, but that seemed to peak Jason Carver, the basketball team’s captain’s attention.

“Your little sister is hanging out with those… freaks?” Jason asked, eyebrows bunching together.

“They play board games together, it’s so dumb-”

“She shouldn’t be around them, she’s just a kid. Who knows what they could do to her if… They aren’t good people, they- they could hurt her,” the captain said, tone stern.

“She’ll be fine, they’re just a bunch of nerds-”

“Lucas,” Jason insisted. “You’re a good friend and a good teammate to us. I’m sure you’re a good son to your parents too, but you have to be good to her as well. That’s your duty as her older brother.”

“Yeah, I-” he quickly put away the dice and Smarties in his pocket and nodded. “You’re right, I’ll talk to her about it.”

“You make sure you do that, okay? Take care of her,” the senior said, patting his shoulder in a friendly way and getting up. “Come on, guys, let’s go to class.”

Lucas walked behind his teammates until he reached his classroom and unassumingly disappeared from the group. He took his seat at the back and noticed Mike and Dustin sitting at the front, bickering with one another as usual. Bitterly, he recalled switching seats with the girl who now sat next to Dustin after Spring Break. Jason wasn’t being mean with his warning, he knew that. His captain had siblings too, he knew what being a big brother meant and he extended that same level of protectiveness towards his friends and younger members of the team. Lucas felt grateful that Jason, the current King of Hawkins High, was so willing to look out for not only him, but Erica too, if only because she was related to him. But when Mike snorted loudly at something Dustin had said, he couldn’t help but think that there weren’t people on Earth he would trust more to take care of Erica when he couldn’t watch her than Mike Wheeler and Dustin Henderson. And perhaps Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley too, but they didn’t have to know that, lest their egos got even bigger than they already were.

Friday, May 30th - 1986

The last day of finals week came towards them at neck breaking speed, causing Eddie and Dottie to stick to each other like velcro during the final three hours of the day. During third period, he’d had his Latin exam and she sat with him during every available second prior to it quizzing him on his vocab. After that, they both had had their Calc final, where they sat side by side suffering through it all together. He’d finished before her and quickly returned to his seat, noticing how her nerves seemed to be heightened every time someone got up and was granted permission to head to the cafeteria early. He slipped one of his rings off and slid it across the table until it bumped with her eraser; she smiled, thankful, and put it on her index finger to twirl with her left thumb while she concentrated on the numbers in front of her. After that came lunch and everyone was positively buzzing. Most of the student body had already finished all their exams and there was a sense of freedom in the air, a shared joy that couldn’t enter Dottie’s brain yet as she frantically reviewed her AP Spanish notes for her ninth final exam of the week. One look at her tired, wet eyes after someone had shouted a little bit too loud, and Eddie pulled her out of the room and into the back of his van where she could finally breathe and concentrate on reading her own writing before the bell rang.

After exams were finally over, Eddie headed to the woods to wait for Chrissy who had asked him if she could buy a rather unusual amount of weed considering her casual habits, and Dottie seeked refuge in The Weekly Streak’s newsroom until it was time for Hellfire to begin. She was helping Fred put together a mockup for a story he wanted to present to Nancy the next week when the editor-in-chief herself asked her if she wanted to go to the bathroom. Dottie, being well-versed in girl language, accepted without complaint and followed the blue-eyed girl into the nearest bathroom where she immediately began washing her hands in an attempt to hide the fact that she was so very much nervous about whatever she was about to say.

“Nance? Is everything okay?” Dottie asked, eyeing her carefully.

“Yeah- yes, everything’s okay. I just… I wanted you to know since you were the one that said I should just go for it so… I called Jonathan.”

“Oh,” she said, surprised that she was getting an update on the topic at all.

“We talked and he says he understands that I’m upset. We didn’t break up but we’re going to take a break, officially this time,” Nancy shut off the water tap and stepped to the side to wipe her hands dry with coarse paper towels.

“Well, how do you feel about that?”

“Good, I think. He says he has a job now, and he’ll go full-time for the summer after graduation so he might be able to save up some money to come see me,” she smiled, hope swimming behind her eyes.

“That’s great, Nancy!” Dottie said, giving a big hug to her friend. Nancy went stiff at first but after a second, she breathed out and hugged her back. “I’m so proud of you, I know that was probably a really hard conversation for you both.”

“It was but… I feel better now. I want to trust him again, and we agree that maybe this will help us get there.”

“So you’re still off the market then? Asking for a friend that’s totally not Fred,” Dottie joked, and Nancy let out a girly giggle that surprised the both of them.

“Off the market, and out of his league,” the editor-in-chief said, playfully stern.

“Oh my god, Nance!” she let out a loud snort that sent Nancy into a fit.

It felt good to laugh like this, to shoulder a silly burden together, to foster a new friendship and be vulnerable with one another. Growing up hadn’t been easy for either girl in wildly different ways, but the summer of ‘86 was right ahead of them and promised greener pastures if one could get the courage to take the first step outside. Nancy hadn’t let herself have a friend for so long. It had been easy with Jonathan - shared trauma bonds you like nothing else in the world after all - but it was undeniable that a part of her had died that day when Barb went missing. Even though Dottie wasn’t Barb, Nancy could feel like Nancy again right that moment, in that bathroom, hiding from their nosy journalist-aspiring colleagues and the junior that kept following her around like a lovesick puppy. She felt herself breathe a little bit easier almost a full year after the nightmare that still woke her up in the middle of night, prompting her to double check the guns she had stashed in the topmost part of her closet so her little sister Holly could never find them by accident.

The door to the bathroom opened and a group of cheerleaders came in, fussing over their makeup and hair before practice began. They were chatting excitedly about an upcoming party, and Nancy and Dottie moved aside to let them get access to the mirrors. They were about to leave when another girl pushed the door open in a frenzy; a slightly out of breath Chrissy Cunningham ran inside in haste.

“Where were you?!” shouted Melissa, rounding on her as soon as the door had slammed itself shut.

“I got held up by a teacher, calm down,” Chrissy lied seamlessly, but her glossy eyes were a dead giveaway to anyone that had spent any significant amount of time with the elder Hellfire members. “What are we talking about?”

“Your boyfriend’s party. What are you gonna wear?” Kathleen asked, putting away her lip gloss.

“Are we allowed to go?” Libby asked, eyes hopeful. Standing next to her was another junior tumbler, Valerie, who was downright pouting at their captain.

“Of course you are!” Chrissy said, taking full advantage of the fact that Jason would never complain about her inviting her younger cheerleader friends if she pouted at him a little. “Everyone is invited. Are you two coming too?”

It took a few milliseconds for Dottie to register that Chrissy was talking to Nancy and her, and she only realized because Nancy quickly put on a friendly smile and shook her head, a quick excuse on her lips.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I already told my Mom I would babysit my sister. It’s their date night and I’d hate it if they had to cancel,” she said, and Dottie knew she was lying because her eyebrows bunched upwards in the very familiar way they bunched whenever she lied to other people in the school’s newspaper about how great their ideas were.

“Aw, they still go on dates, that’s so cute,” Valerie said, ever the romantic.

“What about you, Dot? Are you coming?” Chrissy asked, ignoring the way her friends looked at her like she was inviting a rabid dog inside for dinner.

“Uh, I- I wasn’t aware there was gonna be a party.”

“It’s tomorrow night at my boyfriend’s house but I’m organizing it so it’s honestly my party,” she giggled, and Dottie swore she’d heard Gareth make that same sound whenever he was high. “We’re saying goodbye to senior year! I just told Eddie you were all invited, you should totally come.”

“You did what?” Melissa asked and Kathleen scoffed.

“It’s our last senior year party. All seniors can come,” Chrissy said in a tone that left no questions to be asked before she turned back to Dottie. “It’s gonna be really fun, we can probably convince Jason to let us play Queen at some point! Please think about it at least? For me?”

“Okay, I’ll- I’ll think about it. For you,” Dottie smiled, and Chrissy grinned.

“We should go now,” Nancy said, interrupting the awkward tension. “Lots of newspaper club things to do.”

“Oh, sure! We’ll see you around!”

Nancy guided Dottie out with a hand on her elbow; Chrissy and Valerie were the only ones that waved them goodbye. Just before the door closed, Melissa snarled “You invited the freaks? What’s wrong with you?” but they never heard what Chrissy replied. They made their way back to the newspaper club’s room in silence, each of them deep in their own thoughts. Nancy realized that she hadn’t been to a party since she’d broken up with Steve, her ex before she’d started dating Jonathan. Had it really been that long? It seemed like it had been ages since the last time Nancy tried to act like she was a normal teenager, like she didn’t need to keep a light on while she slept, scared of the shadows in the corner of her own bedroom. Like she didn’t have sleeping pills issued by a military doctor that she refused to take hidden inside a pair of old sneakers. Nancy would never be the same Nancy she was before November 8th, 1983, but she had to try.

“We should go,” she said, Dottie’s head snapping up from the papers in front of her. “To Chrissy’s party.”

“You wanna go?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“O-okay! I can ask my Dad to take us if you want,” Dottie offered.

“I drive, I can pick you up if you want.”

“Sure, if that’s better for you. Thank you!” the brown eyed girl smiled. “I actually haven’t been to any parties since senior year began.”

“We better make this one count then,” Nancy said, and went back to work with a timid but happy expression on her face.

Dottie tried really hard not to grin, but the thought of not only being invited to her first high school party in Hawkins, but also going with her newest friend and possibly her Hellfire gang made her impossibly giddy. Senior year had certainly sucked royal ass when it began, but it was definitely ending with a bang, not a whimper.

As Eddie ticked final after final on his list, he had allowed himself to think that he would be DMing his last session as the leader of the Hellfire Club that Friday. He had carefully crafted an emotional ending to the adventure they were currently on, and hoped his players would be on board to having a less action packed meeting than usual. They were, after all, not only saying goodbye to him as a leader, but also Jeff, Gareth, Donny, and Dottie. When classes started again in September, Mike and Dustin would be sophomores and the club would be in their hands, new sheep ready to be recruited walking down the hallways of Hawkins High.

The session had started, as usual, with a recap of the previous session's shenanigans. After finding out that their dead mutual friend Orfuel wasn’t, in fact, dead but instead trapped within Shadowfell, the party quickly realized what their next move was: to embark on a journey towards the Forest of Moonstone where Jeff’s character Tharivol had grown up and lived in, all in search for guidance and help of his elders. Orfuel’s partner in crime and girlfriend, Dedlock, had sacrificed him to Mask, the Lord of the Shadows, and was being kept in his divine realm inside Shadowfell - a castle known as the Shadow Keep. Dedlock wanted to rise above the ranks in the church of Mask, and this worthy act of manipulation was going to give her entry into the Circle of the Gray Ribbon, which is where his most loyal priests belonged.

The table was buzzing in excitement as they traveled through Eddie’s carefully crafted world in what would be their last time exploring it. They took their time on their way over to Moonstone, Eddie forcing them into lengthy conversations around a campfire, sharing stories about Orfuel and how they’d become such good friends with him that they were all willing to cross planes of existence to get him back in their lives. They attuned weapons and readied spells, and got a long rest in before the final challenge of the campaign finally arrived. Upon arrival to the Forest of Moonstone, they immediately seeked an audience with the druid that had taught Tharivol everything he knew. The slender elf advised them against their plan; they simply weren’t powerful enough to face the dangers of Shadowfell at this point in time. Instead, he proposed a different alternative.

The next steps were quite easy. They would wait until the new moon, which was, coincidentally, that same night. They’d hold a ritual to open a portal between the planes and bring back Orfuel from the terrible place he had been banished to. The eldest, most powerful cleric from the Circle, a halfling cleric named Portia, would guide them through the ritual, and they’d all have to contribute, each in their own time whenever Eddie prompted them to act. Between conversations and preparations, it was getting late, and so Eddie proposed a little bathroom break before the ritual began, which the boys accepted gratefully, cans of soda littering the table. Dottie inched her chair towards him, voice low like she was about to tell him a secret.

“So,” she began.

“So,” he said, curiosity piqued.

“I talked to Chrissy today and she invited me to a party.”

“Did she now?”

“Nancy and I are going.”

“Oh?” Eddie’s eyebrows rose. “Didn’t know you were interested in that.”

“I’m not but Nancy asked me to and I dunno, it could be fun. Our last senior year party,” Dottie said in a dramatic tone. “You’re going too, right? Chrissy said she invited you and the guys.”

“She did, but I-” he scratched his neck. “I’m gonna be honest with you, darling, I don’t really like those parties very much. I go to them, I sell a few ounces, and then we go to Jeff’s for a movie night.”

“But Chrissy wants us there, she said that all seniors should go. Please, Ed?” she pleaded, eyes rounded with weaponized innocence. “I like hanging out with Nancy but I’d feel so much better about going if I knew you were gonna be there too.”

Eddie sighed. I am so whipped for her and she knows it, he thought before turning to their other friends who were refilling the snack bowls while the freshmen got more sodas.

“Gentlemen!” he called, making Gareth, Jeff, and Donny look at him. “Princess here has a request.”

“What’s up?” Donny asked, sliding into his seat next to hers.

“Nancy and I are going to Chrissy’s party tomorrow night. I want you guys to go with us too,” she said, and the boys instantly laughed.

“Dot, we can’t go to Jason Carver’s house,” Gareth said between chuckles. “He hates us.”

“And also, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but no one invites the freaks to parties,” Jeff added.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. The party is at Carver’s house, yes, but-” Eddie put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a piece of scrap paper with girly writing on it. “-Chrissy Cunningham is planning it. We got an invite this time, fellow weirdos.”

“Chrissy invited you to her party?” Gareth asked in disbelief.

“I believe she invited us all.”

“She did,” Dottie said. “She told me she told Eddie to tell you we were all invited.”

“Those are too many uses of the verb to tell in one sentence,” Donny said, poking fun at her. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Okay, so, let me get this straight. Chrissy Cunningham, the Uncrowned Queen of Hawkins High, invited all of us to her party? And you’re actually going? With Nancy Wheeler of all people?” Gareth’s eyes were wide open.

“How much of a discount have you been giving her?” Jeff joked, implying something less illegal than simply selling her weed, but also dirtier was going on between them.

“Shut the fuck up,” Eddie threw a ball of paper at his head. “She’s a friend, and she invited Dottie too. In person, not through me.”

“Yeah, Nancy and I ran into her in the bathroom and she told us to come.”

“What is it with girls and bathrooms?” Gareth looked at Donny, the only other one at the table who had sisters. He shrugged in response.

“So? Are we all going? If it sucks we can leave, but I just thought it’d be fun to, y’know, do something different for once,” Dottie said with a hopeful smile.

“Okay, I’m in,” Donny announced.

“Dude!” Jeff and Gareth looked at him like he had betrayed them.

“Oh, come on! It’s now or never, we’re never gonna see these assholes again after graduation. And you know those rich kids always have so much beer at their parties. Are you really gonna say no to free booze?”

“Okay, when you put it like that…,” Gareth conceded. “I’ll go if we all go.”

“Ditto,” said Jeff.

“Guess we’re going to Jason Carver’s house tomorrow night, boys,” Eddie said, reluctantly.

“It’s gonna be awesome, you’ll see,” said Dottie, right as Dustin, Mike, and Erica rejoined the group and settled for the next part of the adventure.

“If everyone’s ready,” Dustin looked around the table at his friends after a lengthy discussion. “-we go to the clearing.”

“You come into the clearing right before midnight and you see everyone sitting on the grass, making a big circle around a huge oak tree. This is where Tharivol’s Circle prays to Silvanus, The Oak Father, the God of Wild Nature. You can feel energy underneath your feet, coming up your legs and into your chest as you approach everyone else. This place is sacred, and the people here are willing to help you rescue your innocent friend. Do not take their kindness for granted,” Eddie narrated, solemn voice ringing through the tension in the room. “Portia is standing next to the base of the tree in beautiful, shiny robes, her long silver hair blowing in the breeze. She beckons you to come closer.”

“We go to her,” Erica said, firmly.

“The old halfling lady instructs you to sit at her feet where the tree’s roots come out of the dirt. She looks at her Circle and begins her speech,” Eddie held his head high as he embodied Portia with a mystic drawl. “Children of Silvanus. We are gathered here tonight to help our very own Tharivol and his allies restore order and balance to where chaos and injustice has spread. Pray with us. Let Silvanus help them return a lost friend home,” in his normal voice, Eddie continued. “Portia turns around and with her staff, she draws a line into the earth where the portal will appear, if, and only if you succeed.”

“Hang on, Portia is opening a portal?” Jeff said, holding in a chuckle.

“Portia the Portal Lady,” Dustin muttered, and Mike next to him snorted loudly.

“You’re killing the fuckin’ mood,” Gareth complained, kicking Jeff who sat opposite him.

“Moving on, please,” Erica rolled her eyes and motioned at Eddie to continue. He bowed his head in acknowledgement and carried on with his narration.

“Portia starts praying loudly in a language you don’t quite understand. At first, you think she might be praying in Elven but you quickly realize she’s praying in Sylvan, the language of the fey,” Eddie said, tense silence falling over the room once again. “Tharivol,” he looked at Jeff. “You recognize a few words and it sounds like she’s requesting access to a kingdom, to a place called Shadowfell. She’s asking the Raven Queen for help in rectifying a wrong that has happened within her realm. I want you all to tell me what you do to help Portia during the ritual.”

“What’s everyone else doing?” asked Jeff.

“They are still sitting in a circle while they pray.”

“I’m gonna pray to Silvanus too then.”

“Go ahead. Let me hear what you say to him.”

“Oh, Silvanus, God of Wild Nature, Old Father Tree,” Jeff began, in character as Tharivol with his head bowed, eyes closed and hands clasped above the table. “Orfuel saved my life once. Let me return the favor. Let me repay the kindness he showed me by righting what is wrong in his name. Let him come home to us. Let him live long and prosper.”

“Damn,” said Gareth under his breath. It was showtime at the Hellfire Club, and everyone was taking it seriously.

“I’m gonna pray to Moradin for assistance,” Erica said as Boldhild. “I’m gonna invoke my Oath, and say: Fight the Greater Evil. No Mercy for the Wicked. By Any Means Necessary. Retribution. I honor these values today, and tomorrow. In your name, Moradin, the All-Father.”

“I’ll pray too,” Dottie joined them as Holly. “I’m going to lay down my quarterstaff, my symbol of Lathander touching the earth, and I’m gonna call out to him for help like they did.”

“You can do better than that, darling,” Eddie crossed his fingers and rested his chin on them. “Show me how you commune with your god.”

“O-okay,” she said, attributing her nerves to the expectation of performing an impromptu prayer in front of everyone and definitely not because of the sultry voice Eddie was talking to her with. She bowed her head and began praying. “Lathander, I come to you as a child of the light to ask you for aid in a time of need. My siblings in arms are asking Silvanus and Moradin to come together and help, but I fear their calls might go unanswered. Morninglord, I beg of you, take pity on us. Take pity on Orfuel, who has been banished to the plane of shadows. Take pity on those who cannot walk in your light like we do every new dawn, and please let us be joyous when the morning comes.”

There was the sense in the room that this wasn’t just a regular end of a campaign. They could feel it in the way Eddie had guided the session so far: minimal combat, heavy on the roleplay, distinctively interested in character growth. He was gearing up to something, and from the looks of it, it was going to be something big. With the understanding of a party that trusts their DM to bring a satisfying story to life, they gave themselves to him freely and wholeheartedly. This wasn’t just the end of an adventure. This was the end of Eddie’s reign as the leader of the Hellfire Club and he deserved a proper farewell.

“I-,” said Mike, gearing up to join his friends in the ritual as Mozikith. “I don’t think I can pray to Asmodeus for help, I mean… Doesn’t really feel right. So I’m gonna give Silvanus an offering instead.”

“What kind of offering do you wish to give him?” asked Eddie.

“Uh, a blood offering? My own blood.”

“No!” cried Jeff. “Offerings to Silvanus can’t be blood sacrifices. You have to destroy something made out of wood or wooden materials and bury it.”

“Okay, well, uh- Do I even own something made out of wood?” Mike wondered aloud as he looked down at his inventory notes.

“You have your staff,” Dustin suggested in a sheepish tone.

“Can… Can I break my staff and still keep my arcane stone?” he looked at his DM.

“I’ll allow it but you can’t cast spells simply holding the stone. You either get a new staff or do something with it, like put it inside a locket,” warned Eddie.

“It’s fine. I won’t need it anymore anyways,” Mike reasoned. “I’m gonna break my staff in two and bury it under where the portal is supposed to be created.”

“Me too,” said Gareth, making Despair join the sacrifice. “I’m gonna add my javelins to his pile.”

“How many?”

“All four of them.”

“Very well,” Eddie smiled. “Anyone else has something they’d like to add?”

“I want to offer something to the Raven Queen in exchange for her to let us through,” said Dustin as Seebo.

“Oh?”

“She collects trinkets, right?”

“That she does, Seebo. What do you have to offer to her?” Eddie leaned forward. “It has to be something interesting, remember, she doesn’t exactly care too much about cheap junk.”

“I want to offer her my father’s ring.”

A few sharp gasps could be heard as Dustin held Eddie’s eyes as if he was challenging him to say no. Everyone at the table knew what that ring meant to Dustin’s character. The heavy brass ring was all he had to remember his parents by after a war had left him and his ten younger siblings as orphans, begging on the streets for a small mercy until Orfuel taught him to run petty scams and pickpocket. At first he’d been reluctant but he had ten mouths to feed and couldn’t afford to pity those who had so much more than he did. Dustin placed a tacky ring he’d gotten at a yard sale in the middle of the table. Trust him to always keep props on his body for D&D related purposes.

“Okay, I’ll take it. Let’s see if she does too,” Eddie accepted his token.

“I’ll offer her a memory,” added Donny as Odorr. “I know she collects those too.”

“Which memory are you offering to the Raven Queen, dearest Odorr?”

“I want to give to her the night I burned down my village. That’s why I was a hermit until Orfuel found me,” he turned to the table to explain. “I was exiled as a kid because I couldn’t control my Wild Magic and set a barn on fire. It spread to the rest of the village so they said I was a danger and casted me out.”

“Shit,” Erica said, impressed that he’d kept his origin secret for so long. “Did you kill someone or what?”

“No, but I hurt a lot of people. It’s in the past now.”

“I’m sorry you went through that,” Dottie told him sincerely. Odorr had been her first friend on the campaign, and she cared for him like he was a real person. Donny squeezed her hand as a thank you.

“Okay, are we ready to proceed? Good. Since everyone has played their part in the ritual, I’ll explain how this is going to work,” Eddie brought them back to the game. “I’m gonna ask Tharivol to make an Arcana check, with advantage. To that you’re gonna add 1d6 of Inspiration for each member of your party, so that’s 6d6.”

“Can I roll Religion instead of Arcana? Since I’m praying to Silvanus,” Jeff bargained.

“Sure. Roll in front of everyone.”

Jeff grabbed 2d20 and breathed deeply, calming his nerves. He shook the dice in his hands, letting them fall to the tabletop, the two green and gold flecked pieces of plastic glinting in the moody lighting Eddie had set for the evening.

“18 and 19,” he announced.

“I’m guessing we’re starting with 19. Mozikith, if you will,” Eddie prompted Mike to start the inspiration dice rolls.

“Wait!” Dottie interrupted. “I want to cast Guidance on Tharivol.”

“Remind me again what that does, princess?”

“You touch one willing creature. Once before the spell ends, the target can roll a d4 and add the number rolled to one ability check of its choice. It can roll the die before or after making the ability check. The spell then ends,” she read with a smile. “You told me the other day that I always use the same two cantrips so I’m using a new one today.”

“I need to stop teaching you things if you’re gonna use them against me,” Eddie grumbled, but deep down was proud that she listened to his advice so intently. “Fine, Tharivol, add a d4.”

“Thank you,” Jeff said to Dottie and rolled. “2.”

“We’re at 21. Mozikith, please.”

“Shit,” Mike said. “That’s a 2.”

“We’re at 23. Seebo, your turn.”

“Fuck. Sorry guys, that’s gonna be a one,” Dustin mumbled angrily.

“Tough start. We’re at 24. Boldhild?”

“Four!” Erica cheered.

“We go up to 28! Despair, you go.”

“Please, please, please,” Gareth whispered. “SIX!”

“34! Odorr’s turn now.”

“Fuck yeah! That’s a six!” Donny punched the air excitedly. Everyone started becoming antsy but hopeful.

“We’re at 38. Holly, please.”

“Four?” Dottie said, timidly.

“That brings us to 42. Everyone in the clearing starts humming as Portia continues praying. Seebo, the ring in your hand begins burning until you can’t stand the heat anymore and drop it. It sinks into the earth beneath you as a gash appears where the line in the dirt was drawn,” Eddie began describing, his players waiting with bated breaths for confirmation of their success. “Tharivol, you feel a surge of magic from deep inside you, like a gentle warmth crawling up from your feet all the way up and into your chest. You see the oak tree begins glowing in the moonlight.”

“Holy shit,” Jeff said.

“The ground beneath you begins to shake and suddenly, Odorr, you feel a piercing pain in your head, like a needle pushing right in the middle of your forehead between your tiny horns. You fall to your knees in agony and see that the gash begins opening more, revealing fog on the other side.

“It’s working!” Dustin cried, and Mike shushed him immediately.

“Holly, you see your Lathander holy symbols begin to shine. First, it’s the one attached to your staff. Then, your armlet. It feels warm, like sunshine seeping into your skin on a cool day. The gash keeps opening and opening until it becomes a shadowy circle right in front of you. The pain in Odorr’s head stops,” Eddie said theatrically, making a pause for dramatic effect. “The DC you had to beat… was 40.”

“WE DID IT!” Erica screeched, and everyone began yelling at the same time.

“You almost gave me a heart attack, you piece of shit!” Donny yelled.

“Fuck, that was close,” moaned Dustin, bracing himself against the table, tension finally leaving his body.

“Congratulations, adventurers. You’ve just opened a portal to Shadowfell,” Eddie laughed, throwing his head back.

“Do we go in now? How does this work?” Dottie asked, wanting to continue the story.

“You have to speak the name of a creature and they’ll be sucked in through the portal towards your plane.”

“What was Orfuel’s last name?” Gareth looked at Jeff.

“Evensorrow,” said Mike.

“We call for Orfuel Evensorrow to come back to the material plane,” Jeff said, back in action.

“You see a shadow moving behind the fog, it seems like it’s fighting back the tendrils. Call out to him again, all of you,” Eddie instructed.

“Orfuel! Orfuel!” everyone began chanting. “Orfuel, it’s us! Stop fighting back!”

“The creature becomes prone when it hears your voices and lets itself be dragged into the material plane. A dirty human man lays at your feet, gasping for air after the shadowy vines retreat. Portia loses strength and the portal closes itself, severing the connection to Shadowfell.”

“I catch her before she falls,” Mike said quickly.

“Thank you, dearie,” Eddie said in a pitiful voice that belonged to an old frail lady. He continued in his normal voice. “Portia is okay, she just needs to rest.”

“We go to help Orfuel then,” Gareth looked at his friends, who nodded in agreement.

“Orfuel is a shell of the man you all used to know. His hair is long and matted, his beard is graying at the edges. He has dark circles under his eyes and looks like he hasn’t had a drink of water in days. He tries to speak, but his voice doesn’t come out.”

“I give him my water bottle,” Erica said.

“He drinks half of your waterskin in a rush and now that he feels better he looks at everyone surrounding him with fearful eyes,” Eddie began trembling, like it took a toll on his body to even utter a single syllable. “He’s coming. We have to- we have to hide. He’s coming.”

“Mask’s coming?” Donny asked.

“Mask’s just a pawn,” Eddie scoffed. “Orcus is coming.”

“Who’s Orcus?” Dottie looked around the table.

“The Lord of the Undead,” Dustin said, wary. “He’s the master of the undead that live in The Abyss. He wants to exterminate all life on every plane of existence until only his undead soldiers remain.”

“Wait, what do you mean Orcus is coming?” Erica asked Eddie, but really, it was Boldhild asking Orfuel.

“Mask knows Orcus hates the Raven Queen, so they made a deal. Mask kills the Raven Queen, and he becomes the keeper of Shadowfell for Orcus. Dedlock gave me up as a sacrifice to grow Mask’s power.”

“Shit. What do we do now?” Donny asked everyone else in the room.

“We fight back,” Dustin said, like it was obvious. “First we go for Dedlock and the Circle of the Gray Ribbon. Then we go for Mask.”

“And then…,” Mike mused. “We go into The Abyss.”

“And that’s where we’ll end our session,” Eddie said, and everyone groaned in protest.

“What the fuck, man?!”

“You said this session was the last one!”

“That’s such a non-ending, what is wrong with you?”

Eddie laughed and looked at his friends who kept begging him for more. More stories, more adventures, more guidance. They weren’t asking for entertainment. They were looking for more friendship. He moved to lower down his DM screen and hauled his prop box onto the table. Everyone stared at him curiously, wondering what trick he was gonna pull out of his metaphorical hat next. He simply reached in and grabbed two pins, putting them on the table: one said Chapter Leader, and the other said Dungeon Master. He’d had the first one for three years, and the second one for longer. He looked up at his club members with shiny eyes, and Dottie thought he’d never looked more at peace than in that moment.

“As you all know, my beloved sheep, I’m hoping I finally get to graduate this year. I don’t know if I am just yet, but in any case, this is my last session as Hellfire’s very own DM and leader. There’s more story to tell in this campaign, but I won’t be doing it here, on this throne, in this props room that always smells a little bit like glue,” he smiled when everyone huffed in agreement. “We’re going to take a break from this adventure until Dustin comes back from his nerd camp for geniuses-”

“Hey!” Dustin protested, but he looked proudly at Eddie while he did it.

“If you still want to find out what happens next after all that, I’ll be more than pleased to keep the action going outside of school grounds. But! A king shouldn’t rule over their kingdom forever, and it’s time for me to pass the crown onto the next generation. Wheeler, Henderson, please,” he motioned to the side. The freshmen followed him a few steps away from the table where Eddie dropped to one knee and bowed regally. “Michael Wheeler, you are Hellfire’s new Dungeon Master. I trust that the tales you tell will always be as grand as Mike the Magnificent was under my reign.”

“Woah,” Mike said when Eddie presented the Dungeon Master pin to him. “Eddie, this is- thanks, man.”

“Dustin Henderson,” Eddie continued, looking into the hopeful eyes of the kid he so very much admired. “The crown is too heavy for one man to wear alone, so I am choosing you to be the next Chapter Leader of the Hellfire Club. May you be as brave as Dustin the Daring was when he was under my wing.”

“I-” Dustin managed to get out before he launched himself across the floor and tackled Eddie into a tight hug.

“I won’t disappoint you, Eddie, I swear to god-”

But there was no need for him to promise anything, because Eddie knew that Hellfire was in safe hands with the two boys that had gone from looking at him like he was their Lord and Savior to simply calling him a friend. And as Eddie said goodbye to his time in high school, he was so grateful that even if he hadn’t learned a single thing valuable within those walls, he had come out of it with a group of people that he could always count on when life got too rough to handle on his own.

taglist (comment below or shoot me a dm if you want to be added!): @munsonology @kurdtbean