#only 43 acting credits

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Pride!!!! Living Blood or Lady Mo please!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43

Xuanyu disrobes unashamedly, hesitating only at the last second with the sleeve covering her left arm.

Jiang Yanli laughs. “Bit late to be modest, I think.”

“Modesty is overrated,” she returns, which is something that Zixuan would say and A-Yao would think. She slips the rest of the robes off and steps into the steaming bath, letting out a deep sigh of satisfaction.

The changes her body has undergone are even more obvious without the thick layers of the robes obscuring her form. The extra weight seems to have settled in ideal places, not only thickening her waist and limbs but settling heavily along her hips and breasts, which hadn’t exactly been small to begin with.

She sits behind Xuanyu, filling a bowl with water and then pouring it over her hair to rinse it of blood and dirt that had been hidden by her dark hair. Acting as a bathing assistant is far below her station, but Xuanyu had sent all the servants away and she doesn’t mind, really. Xuanyu is her sister, likely the only one she’ll ever have considering A-Cheng’s track record with matchmakers, and she’s been worried about her. This gives them time to speak alone. “How has your marriage with Lan Wangji been? Has he been kind?”

Xuanyu pulls a face, which isn’t encouraging. “I guess. He mostly left me alone, and then we had a couple fights and he was a jerk, and now I think he’s trying to make up for being a jerk, but it’s a little – well, it’s nice that he’s making an effort. I suppose.”

Not as good as she’d hoped, but not as bad as she’d feared. “Sect Leader Lan seems fond of you.”

“Oh, Lan Xichen is great,” she says easily. Better than reaction to Lan Wangji, but still not what Jiang Yanli had been hoping for. Then her eyes light up. “Sizhui is wonderful! I’ll give Wangji one thing, he’s raised a good kid. He’s so sweet, and a great cultivator, and he’s always trying to help out everyone around him. I’m glad Jingyi’s always hanging around – without him, I think everyone would just take advantage of Sizhui’s good nature.”

Well, that’s something. Surely Lan Wangji can’t resist Xuanyu’s charms for long, not when she dotes on his son and gets along with his brother.

“What trouble did you get into on the road?” she asks, running her hand over the wound on Xuanyu’s shoulder. It looks nearly fully healed already and there’s another mostly healed wound on her hip, a thin slice on her left arm, and the shadow of various bruises that were likely much worse a couple hours ago. It’s of course a good thing that Xuanyu has a strong golden core, but Jiang Yanli can’t help a moment of wistfulness.

Her own core never lived up to her mother’s expectations, or her own. If she’d had a stronger core, she could have given A-Ling siblings. A child should have siblings. She would have had a calmer childhood without two little brothers underfoot, but a lonelier one too.

Xuanyu shrugs, lazily scrubbing herself down. “Looks like Xiao Xingchen picked up the girl, A-Qing, while he and Song Lan were separated and was trapped in this place that was basically a ghost town.” How could he be trapped by a place that had no people? “And I’d heard some rumors so when we ran into Song Lan I helped him find Xiao Xingchen, but there was a bit of a fight with someone who didn’t want him to leave. I just happened to get caught in the crossfire, so to speak.”

She’s stretching the truth to outright lying. Before Jiang Yanli can call her on it, her stomach growls.

“Didn’t get a chance to eat on the road?” she teases.

Xuanyu flushes, ducking briefly beneath the water to hide her flaming cheeks before resurfacing. “Things were a little hectic. It may have slipped my mind.”

How has she managed to put on weight while also forgetting to eat? Perhaps Lan Wangji deserves more credit.

“I think I have some candies in my room, if you want something before the banquet,” she offers. “I know the speeches take forever.”

Her eyes light up before dimming and she slumps in the bath. “Thanks, Yanli-jie, but I better not. Sizhui gave me some on the road and I usually love them but just putting it in my mouth almost made me sick. It was awful. And weird! They’re my favorite.”

Jiang Yanli blinks then gives Xuanyu’s significantly larger chest a considering look. It could be nothing. It’s probably nothing. She hasn’t even been married a year and it doesn’t sound as if she and Lan Wangji have been seeing eye to eye.

Then again, the same could have been said about her and Zixuan.

“Can I ask you something personal, Meimei?”

Xuanyu nods. “You can ask me anything, Yanli-jie.”

“Are you and Lan Wangji having sex?”

She turns bright red and ducks beneath the water for so long that Jiang Yanli is starting to get concerned before she resurfaces, still red faced. “Um. We did once. Well – I guess, technically, it was three times, but it was only one night.”

Well. Apparently Lan Wangji has stamina on and off the battlefield.

“One moment,” she says, briefly squeezing Xuanyu’s shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”

It takes one whispered conversation with the servant outside the hall and approximately ninety seconds before her personal healer is standing in front of her. Jiang Yanli ducks back inside to see Xuanyu out of the bath, in a thin bathing robe that’s clinging to her as she wrings her hair out. “I’d like my healer to take a look at you, Meimei.”

Xuanyu freezes, slowly standing straight with a wary look on her face. “That’s really not necessary. The wounds were just superficial and they’re basically healed already.”

“It’ll be quick,” she says, because if she’s right then she can’t let Xuanyu go down to the banquet without letting her know. “She’s very discreet – she’s been my personal healer since I was a child.”

“Jiang Xingyi?” Xuanyu asks, some of her tension draining away.

Jiang Yanli nods, trying to think of some reason that Xuanyu would know her healer’s name, or her reputation, but all the servants are terrible gossips and her health is a frequent topic of derision. “Just your wrist, okay? Your golden core has changed a lot. I just want her to take a look.”

She feels bad about lying, but Xuanyu had lied to her first.

Xuanyu relaxes even further. “Okay, Yanli-jie. If it’ll make you feel better.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, then opens the door to usher Jiang Xingyi in.

The old woman doesn’t smile, but Xuanyu grins back undeterred, and says, “Hi, Granny,” before paling and adding, “uh, um. Sorry.”

Jiang Yanli feels a familiar pang of grief go through her. A-Xian had referred to Jiang Xingyi as Granny, the only disciple both bold and beloved enough to get away with it.

Jiang Xingyi ignores her, instead reaching for her wrist and pressing her fingers against it. Xuanyu fidgets, shifting from one foot to the other, but says nothing as the moments stack on top of one another.

Finally, Jiang Xingyi drops her wrist and steps back. Her stern visage breaks, a smile stretching her mouth across her face. “Congratulations, Madame Lan.”

She knew it!

“Thanks,” Xuanyu answers before wrinkling her nose. “Um. For what?”

“You are expecting,” she answers. “At least a couple months along, I believe, although I’d have to do a more thorough examination to be sure.”

Jiang Yanli moves to embrace her, but Xuanyu’s face drops and she turns dangerously pale. “What? No. That’s not possible. I can’t be.”

“Three times,” Jiang Yanli reminds her, trying to goad Xuanyu into laughter.

But instead she just shakes her head. “No, no I can’t, I – this can’t be happening,” she whispers to herself, grabbing her own arms in a white knuckled grip. “It’s not. It’s impossible. I can’t be.”

She’s young, and this wasn’t a marriage of her own choosing, and it’s so new. Of course she’s surprised and nervous. Jiang Yanli touches her elbow, intending to say something soothing, but Xuanyu collapses into her arms, gripping her waist and hiding her tears in her shoulder.

“Xuanyu!” she says, hugging her back just as fiercely, her heart breaking for the younger girl’s anguish. “Meimei, it’s okay, I know this is scary, but it’s going to be fine.”

“It’s not,” she says, voice thick with tears, “A-jie, this is awful, this is – it can’t happen! It can’t, Wangji is going to be so mad, he’s going to hate me, and everything is ruined and awful, I can’t be – I can’t! I’m going to die!”

Jiang Yanli’s whole body goes cold and she grips Xuanyu even tighter against her. “You’re going to be fine,” she says, pushing her conviction into every syllable.

No matter what Jiang Yanli has to do, Xuanyu is going to be fine.

[lightandfellowship]

Voice Acting in JP KHDR

Fun fact: there's partial voice acting in the JP version of KHDR. Just Xehanort, and only when he's narrating, and only in the Prologue/Episodes 1-3 as far as I can tell, but still.

Timestamps are as follows:

0:57-2:17

8:13-8:37

23:56-25:36

41:04-43:12

The voice acting falling off after Episode 3 makes sense, since that was when the online version of KHDR got cancelled; the game's budget was likely cut then, and paying a voice actor for a couple of small scenes in a mostly-unvoiced game was just unnecessary.

In the English credits, the voice credit is listed as:

VOICE ACTOR [Dark Road] Takanori Okuda

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Top 100 Movies #50 - #26

Finally, we're in the top 50! These next movies are ones I have a little bit more to say about than the previous entries, though the real big fish to fry will be in the final stretch.

50. Cats

Bad movies like this don’t come around very often. Nearly every aspect of this movie is hilariously misguided to the point of insanity, with the special effects in particular turning what should be a campy romp into a bizarre fever dream. But this is precisely what draws me to the film! The flashes of greatness in the back half of the movie, particularly the genuinely great Skimbleshanks scene, really come together to create one of the most endearingly batshit experiences you could ever sit through.

49. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

A movie that ruined an entire generation of women or something, this is a just a perfectly stylish action comedy with one of the most absurdly talented casts around. It's a fun, silly little live action comic book romp that manages to make great use of Michael Cera.

48. Eraserhead

Now this is the David Lynch we all know and love! This is one of the trippiest, weirdest movies ever made, and it has one of the greatest effects ever in the baby. I fucking love that baby. It is one of the most digustingly cute creatures ever conceived.

47. Hot Fuzz

Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead is the far more popular of his genre parodies, but if I’m being totally honest Hot Fuzz is by far the superior film. It’s just funnier, fresher, and more exciting. It also has actual antagonists and some really great and memorable lines, plus it loves Point Break and, of all movies, Bad Boys II.

46. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Somehow, by some miracle, Disney managed to make a theme park ride featuring pirates (legendary box office poison) and make it into the most fun, exhilarating action adventure films of the 2000s. I think the bonkers premise combined with playful conviction from the entire cast is what really manages to sell this movie, but I must sadly give credit where credit is due: pre-dickhead era Johnny Depp, back when he was actually a good actor and not someone cast out of pity, brought the swaggering rock star pirate Jack Sparrow to life in glorious fashion, and manages to steal every scene he’s in. The only thing that could possibly make it better is if greatest character in the whole franchise Davy Jones was in this one, but they had to save something for the sequel.

45. It

While the miniseries starring Tim Curry as Pennywise has its charm, it is hampered by the restraints of television and its budget. With more money, we got a bigger, bloodier, gorier, and more impressive take on the iconic King novel, one that might be my favorite movie based on one of his works. The new, more horrifying and predatory take on Pennywise is certainly a big plus, but I think credit also has to be given to a young Sophia Lillis showcasing her acting chops early and Finn Wolfhard before he stopped giving a shit, as well as the rest of the kid cast. The Loser Club is the heart and soul of the story, and thankfully it’s the thing this movie nails… and it’s sadly where part two drops the ball a little bit. Grown ass adults in a secret club fighting an evil clown isn’t as cool as kids doing it, no matter how great it is to see James McAvoy and Bill Hader.

44. Kill Bill: Vol. 1

Speaking of movies where the sequel just couldn’t measure up…! This is one of Tarantino’s finest works, and certainly the one that most feels like the kind of movies that inspire him. There’s blood, ore, women going on a vengeful rampage… It really is a classic grindhouse movie with more polish. Uma Thurman truly kills it (along with scores of mooks) as Beatrix Ki—Er, I mean “The Bride.”

43. Predator

One of the manliest action films ever made, and also one of the greatest halfway plot switches of all time. You think you’re getting a simple macho 80s action film, and then halfway through, BAM! It’s a slasher movie and the macho men are the prey for a terrifying killer. Our final girl Arnold Schwarzenegger only wins by embracing those macho tropes and adapting them to a new foe. I think it’s a film where you can read it on the most surface level imaginable and deeply analyze it and still come to the exact same conclusion either way: This movie fucking rules.

42. The Batman

Live action Batman movies have been good, but too many of them miss core aspects of what makes Batman, well, Batman. Even the best ones like The Dark Knight, Batman Returns, or even Batman & Robin miss a few aspects and, while great films in their own right, just don’t feel like the definitive Batman. Then one half of the dudes behind Felicity took a crack at it and boy does he get it. This is what Batman should be. There’s detective work, there’s action, there’s car chases and gadgets, and most fascinatingly it’s an origin story but not in the way you think; rather than him becoming Batman, it’s him learning to become a symbol of hope instead of a symbol of fear. Robert Patinson proves he is one of the greatest talents of his age, and Paul Dano brings a deranged campiness to his Riddler that helps keep things comic booky even in a realm of grounded realness. And then there’s Colin Farrell’s Penguin, who is so good he got his own spin off show. It has never been a better time for Batman fans when it comes to cinema; we are eating good.

41. Guardians of the Galaxy

I was a bit skeptical at this film when I sat down to watch it. I mean, these were heroes I’d never heard of headlining a Marvel film when they seemed to be hitting their stride. Then the film opened with a crushing emotional moment, and then it goes into the opening credits as Chris Pratt dances like a goober to “Come and Get Your Love.” It all clicked for me, and it only got better from there as it morphed into the greatest “group of assholes become a found family” I ever saw at the time. I do think it’s the weakest of the trilogy now; Ronan is not a compelling villain and aside from that Redbone tune that opens the movie, the soundtrack kind of sucks (“Cherry Bomb?” Fucking seriously?). But when it comes to the Guardians, “weakest” is still “one of the best goddamn sci-fi action films you’ll ever watch.” It’s nice getting a reminder Chris Pratt is actually a good actor at any rate.

40. Raiders of the Lost Ark

I think even I can concede that The Last Crusade is objectively the best Indy film. I mean, it has Sean Connery in it, after all. But sometimes you just gotta let your nostalgia take the wheel, and when it does it tells me this one deserves the higher spot. No mattter what Sheldon Cooper says, this is one of the best and most thrilling pulp action movies ever made, and one of Spielberg’s finest blockbusters. If nothing else, it definitely has the best opening and arguably the best climax of the whole series. And maybe this is a hot take unless you’re Harrison Ford himself, but Indy > Han Solo.

39. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

It’s honestly amazing how this movie got me to give a shit about so many characters I wouldn’t ever have really thought about much otherwise. Miles Morales went from a cool footnote to one of my favorite Spider-Men, Gwen Stacy went from the dead love interest to a cool and alive love interest, Kingpin went from the best mob boss villain in comic books to the best mob boss villain in comic book movies… and that’s not even getting into how creatively this film uses the multiverse and the concept of variants. It’s really no big surprise just about every superhero movie in the coming years tried to crib its style.

38. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

This movie is ass-numbingly long, especially if you’re watching the extended version (and I always do—weird bits that kind of rob suspense aside the death of Sauruman, the Mouth of Sauron, and Harvey Weinstein orc getting killed are too good to pass up) and it has about a dozen endings, but you can’t really say any of it is unearned considering what came before it. This is truly an amazing capstone to the most epic fantasy trilogy ever made, and not once in that monstrous runtime does it ever feel like any time is wasted.

37. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

This is the Western, and easily Clint Eastwood’s greatest performance ever. But despite how unflinchingly cool and badass he is, and despite how terrifying Lee Van Cleef is as the villain, it is Eli Wallach as the titular “ugly,” an all-too human lout, who manages to be the most fascinating character in the story. The final showdown is one of the greatest in all of cinema, and the Ennio Morricone score is iconic. If you only ever watch one Western in your life, make it this one.

36. The Prestige

Christopher Nolan may not know how to write women, but he sure knows how to take a batshit premise and deliver on it. This film about dueling magicians takes at least a half dozen turns, each crazier than the last, and makes rewatches oh so rewarding. Plus, David Bowie plays Tesla. That’s fucking rad.

35. Oldboy

When a film starts off with a man eating a live octopus onscreen, you know you’re in for something special. This might be one of the greatest “revenge really fucking sucks” stories ever made and one of the greatest downer endings of all time. The twist is genuinely a curveball of epic proportions, and the villain is one of the most heinous yet sympathetic you could ever hope to see. It’s a damn good movie that definitely should never be remade with Marvel actors.

34. Fight Club

I get you’re not supposed to talk about this one, but it’s hard not to considering how liking this movie can easily be misconstrued as being an endorsement of cult-like anarchism and chud ideologies. I like this movie because of its critiques of capitalism as well as its examination of the kind of guy Tyler Durden is, and also because this movie is super fucking gay. It also has Jared Leto getting his face caved in by Ed Norton. Literally every aspect of this movie is ridiculously appealing.

33. The Room

I fucking love bad movies, and this? This is the Citizen Kane of bad movies. Tommy Wiseau’s magnum opus is the sort of bad movie that comes along only once in a generation, something so spectacularly bad it must be seen to be believed. Hell, the reason I love Cats so much is it somehow manages to capture the absurd insanity of this film with a bigger budget, but this one is still better because rather than being an adaptation it is the singular vision of an egotistical blowhard who thought he was making great art. And you know what? He was right. This is the pinnacle of “so bad, it’s good.”

32. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

And you thought I was insane for preferring Glass Onion over Knives Out! Well, look here! I like the sequel so many “genius” animation critics derided as “incomplete” or “half a story.” I’m not the brightest guy on the planet, but even I understand the concept of cliffhangers and dark endings that set up future storylines; it’s like these people have never seen The Empire Strikes Back, which this is very much in the vein of. I think for me while the original film has a better and more focused story and a more interesting villain with Kingpin, the scope and the more impressive work done with the animation elevate this one above the first film in my mind.

31. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

A Guardians of the Galaxy clone based on a TTRPG that has famously had bad luck with adaptations and starring a cast of absurdly famous people you wouldn’t expect to give a damn about telling a compelling story in this setting… Truly, this was a disaster waiting to happen. But that’s just it: It didn’t happen. This is the best fantasy film we’ve gotten in ages, and a movie that is faithful to the concept of D&D. What I mean is that while it’s not literally adapting a specific storyline, it very much feels like the average campaign, to the point you can basically see where each character nat 20s and where they crit fail. You can see where the DM is like “fuck it” and has them conveniently solve a puzzle, and where they sat back and let the party fuck around. This movie gets D&D, and the entire cast is a blast to watch and they have great chemistry. We need more of these films, dammit!

30. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

Speaking of movies it was easy to write off before seeing, here’s a sequel to a mediocre Shrek shrek spinoff made years after that franchise went dormant. But the movie is so fresh, funny, and vibrant it’s like that Shrek spirit was never gone. Puss is as fun as he’s always been, and the movie manages to tackle his insecurities and grappling with his own mortality with surprising grace for a family comedy film. It also has three of the most fantastic antagonists in Dreamworks history with the anti-villain Goldilocks, the relentless force of nature that is the Wolf, and the hilarious card-carrying villain Big Jack Horner. Truly, this franchise isn’t ogre yet.

29. Aladdin

For the longest time I called this my favorite Disney movie, and how could I not? Robin Williams and Gilbert Gottfried turn in some of the best and funniest performances of their careers here! The songs are absolutely fantastic! Aladdin is a great male lead and Jasmine is a really fun and compelling princess! It got a live action remake that’s actually decent and watchable! And, well, it’s obviously still pretty damn high up there. I’ve just come to realize there’s a couple Disney films I like a little better than this after all.

28. Seven Samurai

This is basically the birthplace of modern action movies, with tropes typical of the genre put on display for the first time and unbuilt at their conception. There’s a lot of commenatry on class and the nature of samurai, ridiculous feats of badassery, and one of the most poignant bittersweet endings imaginable. There’s a reason so many other films across the years have aped this one’s premise.

27. Terminator 2: Judgment Day

James Cameron’s magnum opus, and an action film that redefines cinematic action. It’s just a damn good film with stunning action, but I think there’s a few things that need to be addressed here. For one, as much as people love hyping up Sarah Connor as some feminist ideal or “one of the good ones” when it comes to female characters, she’s kind of a shitty person for most of the runtime, only regaining her humanity and her right to call herself John’s mother with the help of the T-800. And speaking of him, Schwarzenegger truly shows off his genuinely incredible acting chops, between his comedic attempts to emote and his delivery of the most tearjerking thumbs up in all of cinema. And then, finally, there’s Robert Patrick as the T-1000, easily one of the coolest and most intimidating villains in sci-fi, which is all the more impressive since he is scary and a believable menace when going up against a mountain of a man like Schwarzenegger.

26. Nope

In my opinion Jordan Peele has gone three for three with fantastic films, and this one is not only no exception, it’s my favorite he’s made so far. Such a wacky premise delivered in an impressive way, a truly breathtaking monster design, and two of the most unnerving scenes in recent horror history, Peele manages to cement his place as a modern master of his craft.

[scotianostra]

On November 1st 1695 The Bank of Scotland was founded by an Act of the Scottish Parliament.

The original 172 shareholders came mainly from Scotland's political and merchant elite. They required a banking system which would offer long-term credit and security for merchants and landowners alike, so unlike the Reverend Henry Duncan, who founded the first savings bank this was all about business.

In 1696, Bank of Scotland became the first bank in Europe to successfully issue paper currency. The Bank's right to issue notes has been maintained to the present day. The first branches were opened in Dumfries and Kelso in 1774 and by 1795 there were 27 branches. By 1860 this had risen to 43 branches and by 1939 there were 265 branches.

In 1959, Bank of Scotland became the first the British Isles bank to introduce a computer for processing its accounts centrally. Computers were to revolutionise the banking industry and again Bank of Scotland was at the forefront.

The Bank's Centralised Accounting Unit initially served just four branches. It took a decade to transfer all customer accounts onto the system. The arrival of the first computer was a source of great excitement. Several branch managers were taken to see it at the George Street office in Edinburgh. Only a few were allowed in at a time, for fear their body heat would cause the machine to malfunction

[lightofraye]

Careers Take Off At Any Age

This came up in a group chat. One person asked if it were possible for a career to take off later in age. I said yes, yes it could.

In Hollywood, age doesn't matter as much as talent. I got curious and decided to go off googling!

Stan Lee, 39

Even though Stan Lee started working with comic books since he was just 17 years old, it took him over twenty years to achieve success. He began working for a company called Timely Publications as an assistant and slowly rose up the ranks until he published his first comic book in 1961 – Lee was 39 at the time.

Alan Rickman, 42

Alan Rickman, the famous actor who played Professor Snape in the Harry Potter series, used to be a graphic designer and even had his own studio. But at the age of 26, he started attending the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art with hopes of becoming an actor. However, he only achieved his first major role in 1988, when he got the role of Hans Gruber in the movie Die Hard – Rickman was 42 at the time. After the movie, Rickman’s acting career quickly took off and he landed the role of Severus Snape in 2001, at the age of 55.

Kathy Bates, 42

Kathy Bates worked steadily both on stage and on screen early in her life, but it was only when she was cast in the thriller “Misery” at age 42 did she gained prominence as one of the most impressive actors in her generation. Winning the Academy Award for Best Actress, Bates’ career took off, landing her the role of Molly Brown in “Titanic,” Libby Holden in “Primary Colors,” and Miss Hannigan in Disney’s remake of “Annie,” as well as remarkable turns on television series “Six Feet Under,” “Two and a Half Men,” and “Harry’s Law.” Bates was also cast as one of the co-stars of the third season of “American Horror Story.”

Martha Stewart, 41

Before the beginning of her career as an entrepreneur and media personality, Martha Stewart was working as a stockbroker in Wall Street. However, she quit to start a catering business and eventually published her first cookbook in 1982 at the age of 41.

Morgan Freeman, 50

Even though Morgan Freeman loved acting since he was young, instead of becoming an actor, he joined the Air Force after finishing school. However, the actor never gave up on his dream and got his first major role in the movie "Street Smart" at age 50.

Jane Lynch, 49

After many small roles in various different films, Jane Lynch got her first major role in the TV series "Glee" when she was 49.

Samuel L. Jackson, 46

Samuel L. Jackson was interested in drama since his early 20’s but only achieved worldwide success at age 46, for his role of Jules Winnfield in Quentin Tarantino’s 1994 hit "Pulp Fiction".

Christoph Waltz, 53

This Austrian-German actor only achieved international success at the age of 53 for his role of Col. Hans Landa in the 2009 movie "Inglorious Basterds".

Viola Davis, 43

Even though Viola Davis had many small roles in different movies before, her first big break only happened in 2008, when she got a role in the movie "Doubt" at the age of 43.

Julia Childs, 50

Julia Child, known by many for her TV show and cookbooks, wasn’t initially even that good at cooking. She attended the Cordon Bleu cooking school in 1948 and wrote her first book in 1961 at the age of 50.

Kathryn Joosten, 60

Kathryn Joosten joined her community theater when she was 42. Before that, she used to work as a psychiatric nurse. The actress eventually landed the role in “The West Wing” at the age of 60.

Ray Kroc, 52

Raymond Albert Kroc was an American businessman. He purchased the fast food company McDonald's in 1961 from the McDonald brothers and was its CEO from 1967 to 1973. Kroc is credited with the global expansion of McDonald's, turning it into the most successful fast food corporation in the world by revenue.

Billy Bob Thornton, 41

Even though Billy Bob Thornton struggled with his acting career in the 1980s, it all changed when the actor wrote, directed and starred in the movie "Sling Blade" in 1996 – he was 41 at the time.

Steve Carell, 43

Believe it or not, The Office was Steve Carell’s first big break – the actor was 43 years old at the time.

Regis Philbin, 57

Regis Philbin started out as an NBC page and worked on "The Joey Bishop Show," but he was never widely known.

That changed in 1988 when the morning show Philbin was working on became the nationally syndicated "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee." After almost 20 years of working on TV, Philbin's chemistry with Kathie Lee made the show a success and gave him national exposure.

At 57, it was the first time the name Regis was in the nation's lexicon. He's been a part of pop culture ever since, most notably for hosting the game show "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"

Lucille Ball, 40

Lucille Ball was a pioneer for both female leads and for comedy after creating one of the most beloved sitcoms of all time, "I Love Lucy" in 1951.

However, she didn't become Lucy Ricardo until she was 40.

Before "I Love Lucy," Ball went from role to role in films. However, once television became a prominent medium she (along with her husband and co-star Desi Arnaz) tried to sell her vaudeville act to networks. That act became the prototype for "I Love Lucy."

Bea Arthur, 47

It wasn’t until Bea Arthur was in her forties that she landed on the map. Her portrayal of the acerbic Vera Charles opposite Angela Lansbury in the original Broadway production of “Mame” won her a Tony Award. She became more successful as she aged, gaining acclaim for her portrayal of Maude Findlay on “All in the Family,” and later, “Maude.” In addition, Arthur went on to score many Emmy Award nominations for her work on “The Golden Girls.”

Colonel Sanders, 62

Throughout his career, Colonel Sanders tried many professions: he was a fireman, a steam engine stoker, an insurance salesman and even tried practicing law. He eventually opened his own roadside restaurant in the 1930s and opened the first franchise restaurant in 1952 – he was 62 at the time.

Michael Emerson, 46

Before Michael Emerson became an Emmy Award-winning star, he took retail jobs and worked as a freelance illustrator in New York City. Discouraged, Emerson and his wife moved to Florida, where he appeared in local productions around the state. Emerson landed on the map with his electrifying performance as a serial killer on “The Practice,” which earned him his first Emmy Award. Emerson has taken home more Emmy Awards for his work on the popular thriller “Lost.”

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There are so many more. Anyone's career can take off suddenly, not just in Hollywood, but elsewhere too.

Don't let age be the limitation of your life.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Hikaru Sulu

By Ames

Have at thee! Pick up your foil and get into the proper stance as A Star to Steer Her By shines this week’s character spotlight on the Enterprise’s helmsman (and occasional musketeer), Hikaru Sulu. We may have had to get a little nitpicky with noteworthy moments from Scott last week because he’s just used less than the three main characters, and Sulu will be even tougher because he does even less and then is gone for a lot of season two while he was off filming The Green Berets (which I wouldn’t even recommend, so that’s a waste!).

That’s not to say Sulu isn’t a great presence in The Original Series, and we came up with some great (and not so great) moments from this ship’s jack of all trades. He swashbuckles, he collects pistols, he tends to plants, he quips with his Russian bestie. Check out the best and worst of Sulu below, listen to this week’s banter on the podcast (discussion starts at 1:19:43), and give us warp speed on my mark. Mark!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best Moments

Someone give this man a hand… plant Sulu started the series with a passion for botany that never really came up much after it was established in “The Man Trap” (even when it would have been applicable, as you’ll see), but it was endearing to see him caring for Beauregard and worrying about his flowery friend after a salt vampire masquerading as crewman Green gave him a fright. There there, Beauregard.

Richelieu, beware! One of the most memorable moments for Sulu and also for the whole damn series comes in “The Naked Time” where we see our favorite helmsman get affected by the space madness disease and start running around the ship shirtless with a foil, provoking crewmen into duels. It’s that bonkers kind of fun episode that really worked for TOS and gave us decades of referential humor after.

Lower us down a pot of hot coffee While we gave Kirk a lot of guff about his characterization(s) in “The Enemy Within,” we’ve really got to give Sulu credit for his work in the B plot. While slowly freezing on Alfa 177, he manages to keep morale up with the occasional light-hearted room service call to the Enterprise. And this is the first we see of what we dubbed the “Sulu Maneuver,” when you heat up some rocks with a phaser! Clever!

He’s doing a countdown! Okay, this one’s here partly because of the running joke we made out of Bailey’s delivery pointing out Sulu’s rather macabre countdown, but Sulu also displays some serious chops in “The Corbomite Maneuver.” Bailey can’t handle the pressure, and Sulu has to literally lean over and do his job for him at the same time, all without losing count!

You are not of the body Mind-controlled Sulu is best Sulu and gets some really fun acting out of George Takei every time. We see it in the afore-mentioned “The Naked Time,” in “Catspaw,” and in “This Side of Paradise,” to name a few, but my favorite mind-controlled Sulu has got to be in “The Return of the Archons” because of all the extra points he gets for this ruffly outfit!

It’s Greek to me Let’s also commend Sulu for rigging up the ship’s phasers to destroy Apollo’s temple in “Who Mourns for Adonais?” Why this plan worked I have absolutely no idea. What self-respected god entity puts all of their powers in a single object? Trelane wouldn’t gaff this hard. Anyway, props to Sulu for somehow avoiding phasering the humans who were hiding only ten feet away like fools.

Lay back and thinking about vegetables Holy cow, guys. A whole episode in which only Spock, Uhura, and Sulu are featured from the entire cast? It must be “The Slaver Weapon” from The Animated Series. Only TAS could get away with giving to Sulu scenes that would go to Kirk any other day, and he owns it! He outwits the Kzinti. He avoids their telepathy by thinking about broccoli. He does it all!

Don’t call me tiny As usual, some of the best moments we’ve collected come from the films, where the characters all really get the shine. Even the minor characters like Sulu, who gets to sashay around in what we previously dubbed the Ta’cape in The Search for Spock and hold his own against a security officer who stands probably a full foot taller than him, like a small dog in a fight. Bowwow!

Special delivery While we’re a little sad that Sulu had probably the fewest character scenes in The Voyage Home (they evidently cut a family reunion scene due to bad child acting), we do have to thank this San Franciscan for obtaining and flying a helicopter around to deliver the transparent aluminum to the ship. How did he pull it off? We’ll just have to use our imagination.

Emergency Landing Plan B Wow, we’ve had more good moments from The Final Frontier than bad ones to mention in these character spotlight posts, which is kind of fascinating considering that film on the whole is among our least favorites. But when Sulu totally rocks it and manually lands the shuttle in the bay using a barricade, we have to admit that the film knew how to use its characters.

Fly her apart then! How often does Sulu get to save the day? Not often enough, I say, because when he gets the opportunity to have the Excelsior join in the battle in The Undiscovered Country, it’s positively thrilling. Your heart just wells at the love these crewmembers have for each other that Sulu would ignore orders to come rescue his friends with passion that I wish we got to see more often in the show.

Tossing a match into a pool of gasoline For the 30th anniversary of Star Trek, Voyager treated the fans with a little Sulu action in “Flashback” and he proved to be just as heroic as ever! Not only do we get to see his decision to go save his old crewmates, but we see him outwit Kang by igniting the sirillium in a nebula. Not only that, but he does the humane and diplomatic thing and makes sure it won’t destroy the Klingon ship utterly. Now that’s a great birthday gift!

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Worst Moments

It’s a he plant – a girl can tell Ya know how we were lauding Sulu for all his great botany work before? Well, he insists that Beauregard’s name is Gertrude for some reason in “The Man Trap.” Dude, just let Janice name him Beauregard if she wants to. He’s her plant, you just feed him sometimes. And frankly, Beauregard is the perfect name for this plant, so we have to give you points off for this one.

I’ll protect you, fair maiden Another instance that’s on both our good and bad lists comes in “The Naked Time.” Drunk or not, assaulting his coworkers is not okay, pal. And Uhura can defend herself from the likes of Richelieu or whoever else. Can we do away with the constant need to protect female characters like they’re damsels in distress? Luckily, Uhura managed to own this moment, as we’ll certainly see next week.

I knew he would Here’s another example of Chris putting the same moment in both of his lists. Funny as that interaction with Bailey was, did we really need the countdown in “The Corbomite Maneuver”? Balok was already doing it for us, as we could tell when the Clint Howard–shaped alien was supposed to repeat “one minute” after Sulu, but the line was cut, and Sulu reacts to it anyway like a weirdo.

Fantasy island, er, planet Most things in “Shore Leave” are perplexing since the episode was being written on the fly and all the characters are acting entirely out of character (we postulated the whole planet was drugged, but who knows). So when Sulu is evidently thinking about samurai for some reason, we can just blame the writers if that comes across as a little racist, especially considering Takei fought to NOT be written as a samurai in “The Naked Time.”

If it were two feet from me You know how we were giving credit earlier to Sulu for caring for Beauregard and having a knack for botany? Well all that goes out the window in “This Side of Paradise” where Sulu suddenly can’t notice a plant that is literally right next to him and slowly turning to face him. I call this man’s botany skills into question. No wonder he misgendered Beauregard! 

You are away from your post, Mister We can give normal universe Sulu a pass on this one, but his parallel universe self in “Mirror, Mirror” is just a monster. While it’s some good fun to watch Takei got down with his bad self by trying to get the captain killed and all that jazz, it is just plain uncomfortable to watch him terrorizing Uhura, so it’s definitely worth a place on our list.

A literal dagger of the mind In “And the Children Shall Lead,” it’s unclear how far the mental powers of Gorgan go since sometimes the crew only hallucinates things and sometimes they are straight-up mind controlled. Sulu seeing a ton of knives in space (which is just plain impossible and he should know it) is the weirdest instance yet. Kirk has to tell him what he sees isn’t there, but does he understand that? Who knows; it’s a nonsensical episode.

I am for you, Sulu This is just a little moment, but Sulu falls (literally!) for one of the oldest cliches in horror writing: When Losira is coming for him in “That Which Survives,” Sulu backs away and trips on some rocks like a chump, leaving himself prone to her attack. And what makes even less sense is that her touching him doesn’t kill him like the others; it only disrupts the cells in his shoulder. Like a chump.

It’s Walter backwards! More of Sulu getting made to look like a chump comes in The Animated Series episode “The Infinite Vulcan” when he nearly gets himself killed after getting bitten by a retlaw: a walking planet with poisonous bite. Luckily, he gets saved by the Phylosians, but you’d think a botanist like Sulu would know better. Oh wait, I’ve already questioned his botany skills, so there’s that.

You’re a wizard, Sulu! I can’t rant enough on what a trainwreck “The Magicks of Megas-Tu” is, but here’s a taste. To test out how to use magic (not even going to start; we’ll be here all day), Sulu’s first impulse is to make himself a pretty woman and then go in to kiss her. In front of everyone. What the hell, Sulu? I expected better from you, man, but making yourself a sex doll is utterly ridiculous.

One tiny step for a tiny man One more from The Animated Series, and this one’s stupidity is compounded by the super inconsistent animation. When he’s been shrunk in “The Terratin Incident” to somewhere between one foot and one inch tall depending on the art frame, Sulu goes to turn a dial, somehow trips on it, and falls off the equivalent of a ten-story building only to break a leg. Ugh.

Like a bull in a China ship I have to give Sulu grief about something that bugs me whenever I see it in Star Trek. Did you ever notice that the crew seem to use breakable items only so they can get smashed? In any other scene, the ceramic tea cup that we see in The Undiscovered Country might be metal or plastic or the paper cups we saw at one point, but because we need to see it break, it’s ceramic, and I slowly lose my mind about it.

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Oh my. We’re reducing to impulse speed to prepare for more of these character spotlights, so keep your eyes here for more in the series! Also, keep up with our watchthrough of Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, challenge us to a duel over on Facebook or Twitter, and take a moment to smell the flowers, if you take a half a second to notice them.

[the-arson-author-gamer]

How Likely Each Stardew Valley Villager Would Give Me Drugs If I Asked For It 

(and other related matters)

Ok, before I begin, this wasn't an original idea, I got inspired, and unlike some people (ssstalkerwolf) I like to give credit. So here it is!

Either way, after watching a video by the stardew youtuber, Nino Kito (go subscribe) and reading the article that he read (which is hilarious by the way), I essentially went 'could I do this in my own way?'

And I did.

I find it worth it to at least read the article before you read this because there are some references and I think one should go back to the original source if they can.

Also, this was for fun, and my own amusement watching my friends slowly lose their perception of who I am as a person.

As you can already tell, this is going to be long, so everything will be under the cut for the remaining sanity of you and myself after I post it.

#45: Jas

First, a literal child. Second, she knows what drugs are, and it would traumatize her for life if you asked because she absolutely knows what drugs do to Marnie after her 3-day work week and Shane after another depressing night at the saloon. That kid can’t witness another addiction come into place, her childlike whimsy is depleting at a rapid pace.

#44: Vincent

90% sure that this kid doesn’t even understand the concept of war, let alone what weed is and why mom keeps getting upset when dad doesn’t act paranoid for once in his very sad life. There’s no sense asking him if he doesn’t even know what it is, which is why he places above Jas, who knows what drugs are. If the kid ever learned how to read within the several years you’ve been in the valley, he might learn what it is, but that chance is highly unlikely considering Penny’s report cards, so you’re safe for now. Or at least until he asks Jodi.

#43: Leo

Leo’s third because that’s also a kid, but also because Vincent could figure out what drugs are, Leo will never. Considering all the research done on the few surviving feral children (because society keeps fucking it up) it is even a wonder that Leo can still speak, let alone read. That kid will just squawk at you like a fucking parrot. Another waste of your precious time, but at least you aren’t potentially traumatizing any more children than you have to for your drug quest.

#42: Jodi

Christian stay-at-home housewife to a man of war? Jodi gives me homophobe vibes, let alone you asking for a bit of the good stuff. That woman is calling you the spawn of Satan and then tries to hit you with her purse. You get away easily because beating up monsters in the mines does wonders, but you aren’t seeing the likes of Vincent ever again, considering we all know how those people are. You can still see Sam, but that’s because her closeted bisexual son knows how to evade her and how to get easy drugs (Sebastian).

#41: Demetrius

Yeah, Demetrius could cook up meth like Walter White but the dude’s a wet blanket. Not only will he say no, but the guy is going to follow you around like a lost puppy asking if you are okay or need addiction therapy. If you make the mistake of asking him, that’s on you for thinking that the man that embodies 90s romance movie father of the girl next door will ever give you drugs.

#40: Morris

Yeah, the man is totally an asshole. He would ban you from ever being hired at Joja, but he technically can’t block you from entering or buying any Joja product without causing the third Joja scandal of the month (It’s the 12th of Summer). If pollution’s mascot bans you from their stores, not only are they losing their precious small town pennies, but also getting another parody article from The Onion that blows up on Twitter. Still not getting back into Joja though after you fuck up so bad on the farm there’s no point of return, but that’s probably for the better.

#39: Governor

That feathered fedora says all, the man has drugs, but there will be no allusion to it due to the fact that he requires those important republican/conservative Christian mom votes. You can ask him, but there’s no way you will ever get any from him. The only thing you are getting from him is the place where he gets those hats and a governmental secret that you’re forced to take to the grave. Congrats, your knowledge of the valley increased by 0.17%!

#38: Penny

Similar to the governor, Penny has drugs, but she isn’t giving them to you, or even telling you that she has them. That shitty toddler teaching job is the only thing preventing her and Pam from going out on the streets. If she gets her online bought teaching licence revoked, she’s done for. It’s best not to ask her for both of your remaining pieces of sanity.

#37: Marnie

She also has drugs, but her already thin supply of ketamine is running thinner by the continued amount of days that Shane has been in the valley. If you ask her, she’ll just say sorry and try to sell you another cow for more drug money and an apology toy for Jas for putting up her remaining family’s bullshit.

#36: Clint

This man is the biggest pussy in the town, you really think he can handle anything more than a single pint of beer, then you’re wrong. He would panic and then cry in the seclusion of the machinery of the blacksmith’s opening your 28 magma geodes if you ever asked him for drugs. I also think he would up the coal prices again if you asked, and nobody wants to dust sprite farm more than they have to. Or pay thousands into Clint’s Emily shrine in the closet for a few morsels of coal.

#35: Harvey

Another pussy, but instead of saying no, he just quakes in his dress shoes at the counter while he hands over you some of the hardest drugs ever prescribed to man. But you will never consider him as an option considering his status as the town’s top scaredy-cat and the only ones who will ever know this is Maru his only employee and Pam who was just bold enough to ask.

#34: Robin

Robin grew up in construction and carpentry, the concept of drugs does not scare Robin, therefore she isn’t going to freak out like everybody so far on the list. But she has none for you, because she is apparently some kind of good samaritan. It must be all those rants from Demetrius and the science behind hearing enough of a concept makes you believe it.

#33: Goblin Henchmen

The only drugs the henchman will give you is the delicacy of void mayo (if you can even gain any friendship with the fellow). So unless if the mayonnaise from magic void chickens does something interesting, it may not be worthwhile to you. The only reason he ranks higher is that I don’t know the hallucinogenic properties of void mayo (yet).

#32: Marlon

Yeah, the guy has drugs, but he won’t give them to you, considering that he knows you would absolutely take it into the mines and snort some cocaine while completing the wizard’s prismatic jelly quest (I don’t blame you, that quest is hell). He’s already lost too many members to drug use in the mines, it’s kind of embarrassing at this point. Though, if you have drugs on you and are out of the mines, he’ll totally join you as the first member (and only sane member) of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. 

#31: Pierre

Remember the secret stash cutscene? Pierre has drugs, but he isn’t letting go of those narcotics at all. Good luck trying to get out of there with your perception of that family intact. You will have no drugs, only another couple of secrets that you have to take to the grave. At least now you know why Abigail’s hair has remained purple after never dyeing it.

#30: Maru

While Maru does not have drugs, she is chill about them and will even occasionally join Sebastian once in a while. She will probably just direct you towards Sebastian, if anything. But considering the kind of game Stardew is, this is essentially a long side quest, but instead of getting a tool or another ridiculous single use item it’s just drugs… Wait.

#29: Gus

Despite the fact that Sebastian is dealing right under his nose (what do you really think he’s doing every Friday night? It obviously isn’t beating Sam at pool, he’s done that hundreds of times already, there’s no thrill to it anymore) Gus believes that his saloon is free of drugs. Which is a stupid assumption considering that he deals with both Pam and Shane on a regular basis for their alcohol. He’ll just say no and then watch you avidly for the next few times you visit on Friday to hand out an assortment of iridium rabbit feet as if it’s completely normal.

#28: George

Poor man is in possession of nothing more than some expired Tylenol in the back of the medicine shelf that he can’t reach. George should probably be on some serious opioids but considering that state of that wheelchair (which I’m pretty sure is growing mold) he probably has nothing for you. But if you offered him anything, you would gain more friendship than giving him an iridium leek on his 87th birthday.

#27: Grandpa

When Grandpa was alive, he had complete access to drugs (Working with Qi will do that to you). But it’s not like he’s alive enough to give them to you, unless if there’s some kind of astral plane/purgatory narcotic that he can hand out (which would be sick as fuck).  But besides Grandpa’s lack of drugs, he totally hanged around Willy and Linus in ye olden days, creating the first edition of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. You’ll get some great stories through the dream realm but no drugs.

#26: Gunther

I think Gunther would get bored at the museum, waiting around for your once-a-month visit with a bunch of ores or artifacts. Of course, he gets excited to have those, but he goes through inspecting them so quick that he’s done only a couple of days after your visit. So a bored archaeologist has to do something… drugs. He does drugs. It’s not like the poor lonely man has anything to offer you, but if you offered him something, he would be quite excited. The only way, the man has access to some magic mushrooms is following you to the mines and going down to floor 80 to pick up some stuff. At least he’s responsible enough not to go alone or do the magic mushrooms while in the caves, unlike the entirety of the now dead Adventurers Guild.

#25: Haley

Yeah, article’s right, Haley would not have drugs but would absolutely be able to lead you to them. This girl knows everybody, and the next party she’s going to? That you were only half paying attention to because she kept insulting your taste in fashion? Yeah, she knows a guy, who knows a guy, who’s friend’s sister’s step-brother is going to be there and has got a great stash that he’s willing to share. 

#24: Sandy

Sandy’s shop lives right off of Qi, her business essentially relies on that man, 110% that she would return the favour to Qi by directing you to him. Sandy is a solid contact if you really need some good drugs.

#23: Bouncer

Akin to Sandy, the bouncer works for Qi, of course he has access to drugs, not like he’s going to hand them out willingly, though he will direct you to Qi for more business. He and Sandy got a solid deal with Qi if that they promote the drug business in the desert (to the trader) than they get more money in their pockets and some free stuff to themselves, are they going to deny a great deal? I think not.

#22: Dwarf

As we know, the Dwarf doesn’t have a basic concept of personal property, so any of the drugs he has are stolen from Linus’s stashes around the valley. So yes he will give you drugs, but you just don’t know who it’s from. If you are fine with risking getting caught with somebody else’s drugs that have been second-hand stolen, then go right ahead! Dwarf’s got you!

#21: Pam

I feel as this is self-explanatory, Pam has drugs, she gets them from Harvey, but she much rather join you for drinks than for drugs. She has them, but I think what’s left of Pam’s moral standing wouldn’t exactly feel 100% okay giving a 20-something year old hard drugs (not that she knows what Penny does when she isn’t around). You’d still have a great night, it just wouldn’t be drugs.

#20: Professor Snail

Article’s right again, that Snail man totally survived off of magic mushrooms inside that caves. If you ask him for drugs, he would just shakily point a finger towards the mushroom caves.

#19: Willy

I think Willy would be a complicated man, I don’t think he would do drugs, but I think he wouldn’t care if you did them, maybe he would oversee the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. At most would do a bong with you while night fishing, but he wouldn’t go apeshit like anybody else, so that’s a plus. 

#18: Kent

“He was in the war!” Bitch so? If you offered that guy some relief from the constant trauma, he would pay off your mortgage. He doesn’t have any drugs on his person because Jodi’s like a personified drug dog but also a bitch. But he does have some stashes around the valley, not very good spots though, considering that Linus took all of them. I think it’s worth noting that when high, Kent will reveal every piece of traumatic information he has from the war, which makes him an integral member of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. Because no circle can go without a traumatized adult man!

#17: Granny Evelyn

Granny was the coolest kid in town back in ye olden days, she had anything and everything. Too bad she gave up on it after she married George and took in Alex. Despite all of that, she does have some likely-dead contacts for you if you are interested in whatever the hell Granny was into back in the days.

#16: Sam

Sam is besties with both Sebastian and Abigail, both of which have access to drugs through their respective sources. Despite being down the line a decent bit, Sam has got some shit that even his bloodhound of a mother can’t find, that guy grew up lying to his mom. Anyway, Sam is pretty chill to hang around, he’ll probably talk about music and video games the entire time, but a lot of people are into that stuff, so he’s a pretty good guy to chill with. However, the time it takes between him getting drugs from Sebastian or Abigail then using up a week’s supply is very short, so you must act fast if you want a chance to be with Sam.

#15: Lewis

You’re telling me that the mayor of a town consisting of 24 other people gives enough tax money in order to build a SOLID GOLD STATUE of himself? This statue is solid gold! Not laminated! That either took years to establish, or the guy has a secret drug empire. And I think it’s the latter. Lewis totally buys the drugs from Qi, then sells it at an astronomical price to the Governor. Yeah, the Governor. Why do you think Lewis smooches him up every year at the Luau! Lewis has drugs and is willing to sell it to you, so he can build another solid gold statue of himself, but it’s so pricey that it’s not worth it. Another governmental secret to take to the grave… Yippee. 

#14: Alex

Alex is probably willing to do anything to go pro, including taking steroids. Those books that he never reads but are never dusty? Yeah, there’s a big ass stash behind there. He’s willing to share if you’re a dude and give the ‘right’ reason why you want them (sports rather than anything else logical for a farmer). But if you’re a girl good luck, the misogyny runs strong within him until you kind of send him on a character arc.

#13: Shane

He’s stealing from Marnie, that much is obvious, dude’s so broke from spending his money on alcohol that he has none left for drugs. It’s not like Marnie is going to tell him to stop, so he has free rein of Marnie’s stash. If you get him drunk enough first, then he’s surprisingly willing to join you. Just note that he will drop all his traumas and life story on you, Shane will become an integral member of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. 

#12: Elliot

Consider the daily struggle of writers and consider how Elliot can actually write a good book that fast… Drugs, obviously. You see, very few people could have the patience to speak like Shakespeare on a daily basis and somehow still make it understandable to the average Joe, AND still hold the best hair in the Valley (fight me). In fact, I’m bold enough to say that nobody has the patience to do all of that, the obvious answer is a constant influx of magic mushrooms provided by Leah. The main difference between the two is that Leah is more likely to show you all the good spots for forage, Elliot will straight up hand it to you as some poetic declaration of love. 

#11: Gil

After living a long time and serving the Adventurer’s Guild for so long, I think Gil would have to do something to pass the long hours of sitting around. So, despite Marlon’s protests, he snorts skeleton bone crack. Is Gil isn’t out of his mind of skeleton crack then he’s totally get you some, you just have to catch him at the right time (before 2pm, good luck).

#10: Abigail

Abigail has full access to Caroline’s ‘tea’ garden, unlike Pierre, and she has access to whatever the hell Sebastian has on him at any time. So she’s got plenty of people to send you to and plenty of drugs to share. Overall, Abigail is a solid choice to go to, and she’d be cool to hang with as well. Maybe just don’t go to the mines with her to snort crack because nobody needs another grave hanging around the cemetery that Abigail can no longer visit.

#9: Linus

While we are collectively unsure of the reason Linus decided to live out in the wild and cosplay a caveman, I can obviously determine that the man has so much planted around the valley. Weed? Oh yeah, that’s at the train tracks behind the bath house, nobody bothers to go up beyond that point! Cocaine? He talks to the travelling trader a lot. You name it, he has it. He’s also friends with the wizard, which should be enough proof in the first place. The only reason he’s ranked here is that everybody else is practically on par with him. 

#8:  Emily

As long as you are fine with spiritual shit and dancing, then Emily is the person you should go to. I mean, at least Emily isn’t like some of those weird spiritual people that you can sometimes meet, she’s just cool and into crystals and their meanings. Anyway, Emily is cool, would hit you up with whatever she’s got, and you would probably learn about crystals more than you should? 8/10 experience, would go again.

#7: Caroline

That tea cutscene? That greenhouse? Married to Pierre? Yeah, Caroline is not just growing tea in that greenhouse of hers. She is absolutely willing to share because her only friend is Jodi, and we already covered her drug dog tendencies. Also, being married to Pierre is already hell on earth, so she will take anything that she can get (this includes a friend). Should I mention that she totally had a fling with the wizard? Who would totally hand out drugs at any given moment for a solar essence? Yeah, Caroline is cool, and she is a great candidate to ask for drugs and hang with.

#6: Leah

Let’s face it, there is no way in hell that Leah wasn’t high while making that statue, yeah, that one. Also, she just forages around for her food on a daily basis, I wouldn’t be surprised if she came across one of Linus’s stashes. Also, she would hand around Linus and do magic mushrooms, fall in the valley is the best season for them after all. She will show you all the best spots, her favourite is the cliff wall behind the Wizard’s tower where all sorts of weird shit grows. It’s best not to ask the origins of it, only how high it will make you.

#5: Krobus

C’mon, you just know that he has drugs down in that sewer, he probably provides come cool stuff to the Wizard to experiment with every now and again. Also, if you are roommates with him, you will also get the experience with hanging around with the coolest creature around. 10/10, always go to Krobus.

#4: Birdie

The fairy dust is not the only thing that is magical about Birdie, her island based drugs are astronomical. She has access to things that very few can even bother to search for, go to Birdie to have a riveting conversation about the sea while being high as fuck.

#3: Sebastian

Sebastian buys primarily from Qi, in fact, he’s Qi’s best buyer, so it’s obvious that he has stuff on hand, and he’s willing to hand stuff out as well. The thing that makes Sebastian so high on the list in comparison to others is the fact that, like Linus, he has everything. Go to Sebastian, any angsty rants about his stepdad and wanting to leave the Valley will be worth anything that Sebastian has got from Qi. 

#2: Wizard

In your very first cutscene with this guy, you get handed some forestry concoction that could totally be considered a drug. The shit this guy has is phenomenal, and he is willing to give it out as long as you have a couple void essence to spare as repayment. Any failed potions or concoctions are being chucked out the window into the concerning lack of wildlife in the valley, all for Leah to watch crazy ass mushrooms to grow then snort them. 

#1: Mr Qi

Where do you think Sebastian’s getting the drugs? Qi runs an empire much larger than Lewis’s statues, Pierre’s money hounding, and Joja’s corporation desires would ever think of having. Qi is the sole reason why Stardew is still holding a half decent economy before you started mass-producing starfruit wine. If you want any kind of drug, you go to Qi, he’s got you covered. 

Bonus: Hat Mouse

Hat Mouse is cool, go to hat mouse. Hat mouse has drugs.

---

And that's a wrap! I hoped you found as much fun in this as I did for the past 2 months when I found time, and I guess the real questions are:

Who would you go to for drugs in the Valley?

Should I post this to my ao3 for shits and giggles?

[plethoraworldatlas]

Remember when I said Democrats will start openly calling for him to drop out in less than a week?

Crediting U.S. President Joe Biden with spearheading "transformational" changes since taking office three-and-a-half years ago, Rep. Lloyd Doggett on Tuesday became the first Democratic member of Congress to call on the president to withdraw from the 2024 electoral race, warning that a potential victory by former President Donald Trump would "usher America into a long, dark, authoritarian era."

With just four months until Election Day, and weeks until the Democratic Party formally nominates its presidential candidate, Doggett (D-Texas) said in a statement that the party's "overriding consideration must be who has the best hope of saving our democracy from an authoritarian takeover by a criminal and his gang."

Doggett spoke out five days after Biden faced Trump in the first debate of the presidential campaign and alarmed viewers, Democratic strategists, and aides with his performance. The president, speaking in a raspy voice and appearing to lose his train of thought several times, struggled to make the case for his achievements and to call out Trump's repeated lies.

The debate reportedly sent a wave of panic through the Democratic Caucus, with one party insider telling Politico that names of potential replacements for Biden were being floated.

In his statement, Doggett noted that Biden's poll numbers compared to Trump's were cause for concern for several months before the debate.

"Too much is at stake to risk a Trump victory—too great a risk to assume that what could not be turned around in a year, what could not be turned around in the debate, can be turned around now," said Doggett. "President Biden saved our democracy by delivering us from Trump in 2021. He must not deliver us to Trump in 2024."

Doggett's comments came as CNN released a poll showing that Trump is leading Biden by 49% v. 43%, while his lead over Vice President Kamala Harris in a potential matchup is smaller. Trump leads the vice president by two points.

Among Independent voters, Harris has a three-point edge over the former president, while Trump leads Biden by 10 points.

A separate poll released Tuesday by the progressive grassroots group Our Revolution showed that 67% of respondents supported Biden suspending his reelection campaign

Doggett noted that the days following the debate have made increasingly clear the danger of a potential second Trump term, as the U.S. Supreme Court on Monday ruled that Trump has "absolute immunity" regarding "official acts" he committed while he was in office—casting doubt on whether he can be held accountable for trying to overturn the 2020 presidential election results and rendering any U.S. president, as Justice Sonia Sotomayor said, "a king above the law."

"Newly empowered with immunity," said Doggett, Trump would be "unchecked by either the courts or a submissive Republican Congress."

The congressman noted that while Biden has spearheaded some far-reaching legislative reforms, the president signaled earlier in his term that he planned to serve only one term.

"He has the opportunity to encourage a new generation of leaders from whom a nominee can be chosen to unite our country through an open, democratic process," said Doggett. "Recognizing that, unlike Trump, his first commitment has always been to our country, not himself, I am hopeful that he will make the painful and difficult decision to withdraw. I respectfully call on him to do so."

Doggett told Matthew Choi of The Texas Tribune that he had notified the White House of his decision to speak out in favor of Biden stepping aside last Friday, the day after the debate.

"After the debate, the risk of a Trump presidency has grown so much that I felt forced to take this action," Doggett said.

Another survey released Tuesday by Puck News showed alternative candidates including Harris, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, California Gov. Gavin Newsom, and Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer polling ahead of Biden in a potential matchup with Trump.

In light of the the new polling numbers, said former Rhode Island lawmaker and lawyer Aaron Regunberg, Democratic leaders who are "trying to shut down this debate are actively helping Trump."

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Faith & Fate - A Leap Of Faith Fanfiction

As I told Emily (@philhoffman ) I have started writing a Leap Of Faith story, which I have now titled 'Faith & Fate', it takes place in 1993 and in the fictional town of 'Lead Springs, Texas'. And I shall now word dump on you some info:

Major Changes to the plot / Spoilers:

After the ending of 'Leap of Faith' Jonas was dropped off the next town over by the truck driver. The trucker thought Jonas was mad and threw him and his bag out.

Jonas had to call Jane, she and Sheriff Braverman came to get Jonas and they (Jonas and Jane) re-joined the crew, heading off to the next town, eventually reaching Lead Springs, Texas by January 9th of 1992, where 'Faith & Fate' begins.

So basically, I'm using 'Leap of Faith' as a 'movie becomes series' (like Buffy for example) to lead into 'Faith & Fate'

As per usual, if you wish to be tagged or untagged from the story, please let me know, either through asks or DMs

Characters (OCs & From Leap of Faith):

Under cut due to length. These are just the characters I'm certain I'll include as of now (8th June '24)

Jonas Nightengale & Jane Larson

Aka the two least deserving of anyone's trust, the Boss (Jonas) and the ACTUAL boss (Jane). I don't trust either of them, but I trust Larson more because of the butterflies scene. Jane is dating Sheriff Braverman long-distance and Jonas still keeps in touch with Boyd and Marva, though he isn't particularly close to either of them.

Ages: Jonas - 47. Jane - 37

The Choir & The Crew (General)

More than likely underpaid (even though Jonas has a bag of golden watches), but good people. I know several of the crew who put together the gigantic tent have tattoos, so possibly a mix of types of Christians, including maybe some who aren't fully Christians

Ages: Unknown, Approx. 20s-40s mostly

Tiny

First of all, he's a giant, dude's like 6'3. My name for him is Timothy Smalls, so in my head at least Jonas nicknamed him Tiny because of the character of Tiny Tim and it just stuck. He helps with building the tent, collecting money, gathering info, etc.

Age: 44

Matt

(Image credit - @philhoffman / Emily) Matt, my beloved, young dumb and full of… energy, this man has so much energy. My name for him is Matthew Braddock. He helps collect money and gather info, but is also the one who Jane and Hoover (Meat Loaf) send to do random tasks, like an intern.

Age: 25

Hoover

The driver of Jonas' bus, as in the main bus at the front of the pack of 4. His name's Tobias Hoover. His family is my OCs, specifically his 2 brothers and niece. I like his fashion choices, but I know they're not for everyone, also I have been unironically listening to mostly Meat Loaf songs while writing these characters.

Age: 43

(OC) Jedidiah 'Jed/Bubba' Hoover

Eldest brother, and the only Hoover brother to have kids, big (6'2") cuddly papa bear, but seriously don't come near his daughter, he protects her like she's a miracle and her mother / Jed's wife died when Cai was very young.

Age: 46

(OC) Micaiah 'Cai' Hoover

Jed's daughter, Cai's been raised by practically just men, her family has always been in Lead Springs, her uncle Tobias was the only one who left. She suffers with CIDP, which means she's often in a wheelchair but manages as well as she can to be independent. She doesn't work, not due to disability but rather due to lack of jobs, as well as the mistreatment she receives in Lead Springs.

Age: 22 (turns 23 within the first few chapters)

(OC) Zechariah 'Ari' Hoover

Tobi and Jed's younger brother, and Cai's uncle. Zechariah goes by Ari, which can be confusing. He lives with Jed and Cai, acting as a second father to Cai while working with Jed at the town's diner. Most days he regrets letting Tobias leave, but has to remind himself that his brother has his own life.

Age: 40

(OC) Reverend B.J Deacon

The young, new Episcopal church reverend/deacon, fresh faced and just out of seminary school. He's very new to actually leading a church and very inexperienced, hoping to learn from Jonas how to engage people with their faith.

Age: 22 (turns 23 within the first few chapters)

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 17/08/2024 (Chase & Status/Stormzy)

It’s a new #1 the second week in a row, as Chase & Status of all acts launch their hit “BACKBONE” with Stormzy to the top of the UK Singles Chart, it being the first for the drum and bass duo and the fourth for the MC. Perhaps unexpected but an ultimately exciting shake-up, it does not reflect the rest of this dull week. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: celebrities complaining

Rundown

As always in this series, we start with our notable dropouts, those being songs that exit the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to “you look like you love me” by Ella Langley featuring Riley Green and “Pour Me a Drink” by Post Malone featuring Blake Shelton which may rebound given the album’s release, as well as some bigger hits like “LUNCH” by Billie Eilish and “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas which lasted longer than it ever should have.

As for our returns, other than Noah Kahan’s “You’re Gonna Go Far” re-entering at #74 after peaking at #63 earlier this year - it often just bubbles under like this - we have a big resurgence at #27, as Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” gets a boost from being featured in the Deadpool & Wolverine soundtrack. It was the pop icon’s sixth #1 and stayed at the top for three weeks back in 1989, thanks to firstly being a fantastic song as well as having a controversial, larger than life music video that angered the Vatican… like all great artists have at least once. Whilst a classic, it’s not exactly my ultimate favourite of Madonna’s hit but with a catalogue like hers, that’s inevitable, and naturally, the track has seen success in several cover versions. Trbute act Who’s That Girl! released a version alongside “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” that reached #88 in 1997 and Miley Cyrus reached #79 with it in 2022, though between those were the biggest versions in the UK, the first being from Eurodance outfit MadHouse who took their “Like a Prayer” all the way to #3 in 2002, when Darius’ “Colourblind” occupied the #1. In 2010, the cast to the musical sitcom Glee created a Madonna tribute episode that obvioussly had to contain “Like a Prayer”. It reached #16 in 2010 on its debut week, the same week that Roll Deep debuted at #1 with “Good Times”.

And now that history lesson’s over, we also have a few notable gains, those being “Double Life” by Pharrell Williams at #56, “Carry You Home” by Alex Warren at #51, “Black Friday (pretty like the sun)” by Lost Frequencies and Tom Odell at #50, “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez at #43, “I Love You, I’m Sorry” by Gracie Abrams at #38, “Big Dawgs” by Hanumankind and Kalmi at #21, “Somedays” by Sonny Fodera, Jazzy and D.O.D at #19, “Move” by Adam Port, Stryv and Malachiii at #11 and finally, “Angel of My Dreams” by JADE at #10 thanks to a new version. I honestly can’t complain about much of that batch.

As for our top five, well, “BACKBONE” is at #1, we know that, but otherwise we see “Stargazing” by Myles Smith at #5, “Guess” by Charli xcx featuring Billie Eilish slip off the top to #4, “Good Luck, Babe!” by Chappell Roan at #3 and just pipped at the post once again is, also Billie Eilish, with “BIRDS OF A FEATHER” at #2. Now we have a small batch of new songs, but it seems we’ll actually be starting where we started and will be ending. If that wasn’t too convoluted.

New Entries

#72 - “Gunfinger (Salute)” - IRAH featuring Chase & Status

Produced by Chase & Status

So Chase & Status have naturally gotten an algorithmic push they didn’t really get before the massive success of “BACKBONE”, which has not only boosted their back catalogue but also this bubbling track they just produced with a feature credit for IRAH, an MC who hass worked with the two before, most notably on last year’s #5 hit “Baddadan”. I generally like the jump-up intensity of Chase & Status production, and “Gunfinger” feels pretty traditional with IRAH’s deep-voiced intimidation and the reggae sample starting off the song, later warping into a rolicking drum and bass clatter decorated with a sparse, windy atmosphere, stray vocal samples and an array of alarming synths. Whilst I appreciate the details in the drum fills and sound design here, there is a certain emptiness to this that really is evident from IRAH’s general incapability to make much of an impression, sticking to a pretty basic, unmoving delivery that could really do with being more energetic when the production is going to try and rally for minimal intensity over anything. It’s fine, I just wish there was something more to it.

#59 - “Why Why Why” - Shawn Mendes

Produced by Mike Sabath, Shawn Mendes, Eddie Benjamin and Scott Harris

The in-demand Mike Sabath seems to be the go-to for pop singer-songwriters who wish to go for a more serious and ambitious direction, since it worked so well with RAYE, and I can’t blame Shawn Mendes wanting that same level of control and detail given how much of his earlier output was nearly insufferably manufactured. A song like “Stitches” plays out much more like a Disney star’s song than the maturer side Mendes has been wanting to show since at least “In My Blood”, and whilst he has been hit-and-miss in that like he has his entire career, he at least has the dignity to not flail out into failed hyperpop experiments like the ex-partner who I have no doubts he’s still writing about because I know she is too. In this new comeback single, Mendes is constantly thinking of his ex-partner, waking up in a sweat having visions of her naked, and just asking… “why”.

So the song has a general focus on a hopeless state of mental health, but plants ideas without ever expanding on them: the anxiety he feels on tour, the over-dramatic relationship drama and feeling writer’s block all coalesce into that one hook of “I don’t know why”, over a more organic, reverb-drenched folk instrumental that feels very blatantly a trend-chase, even if it does make sense for the acoustic-focused Shawn Mendes to hop on the sound. The bridge makes the childlike confusion Mr. Mendes even more transparent: as soon as he thinks he can be a father, he getss the grounding realisation that he is still a child inside and sometimes even pleads with his mother for help, though does not seem to really do anything to help or prevent any of this? In fact, the only problem resolved is that he “chose himself” instead of his ex-partner, which may be telling that the only recurring problem in his life he can entirely dismiss is those close to him, as everything else described in the track is either cyclical or unresolved entirely, hence his clueless wandering through those underwritten choruses and wow, this is insufferable. For once, I think he knows, and that restless whining about problems is undoubtedly intended to be further frustrated by his refusal to, or maybe even no awareness to how he can, fix those issues. It’s just also not something I really care to hear from, well, anyone. It doesn’t display any temptation to fix his problems, the lyrics aren’t poetic in expressing such, and half of them are informed by his accessibility to experiences I simply cannot access. A self-obessed wobble or spiralling down through the woes that come with “more money, more problems” would be interesting if there was actually any clear progression or detail, but Mendes and co. seem much happier in just leaving the song as is: an unneeded yet unspecific venting session from a wildly successful musician wherein you’re left in the dust to core elements that could actually resonate, and justify the frankly dumb writing. This new lead single ultimately just shows a disconnect that isn’t particularly worth caring about, and I’m not even sure Shawn wants us to, given this sonically has “fulfilling my contract album” kind of written all over it. I’m sure this will be nice for the diehard fans, but to me, this is just useless.

#58 - “Active” - Asake and Travis Scott

Produced by Sarz and MIKE DEAN

Nigerian singer Asake, best known on the UK charts for “Lonely at the Top” and its recent single “Wave” with Central Cee, has released his newest record, Lungu Boy, which has landed on the UK albums chart at #15. I have yet to listen to that full album yet but Asake has impressed me before with their bright, melodious take on Afrobeats, and this new track is actually very interesting, using a sample of fellow NIgerian Jazzman Olofin’s “Raise da Roof” and cutting the vocal off into a stuttered riff against the almost 90s house groove that quickly tumbles into a tighter, minimal bass that feels so full in the mix, to the point where the cowbells and vocal loop end up kind of extraneous to just how good that bassline is. Asake’s melody seems somewhat out of place in his verse given how percussive the production is, but it plays off really interestingly off the busier drums in its second half, and that chorus is so simple yet worms its way into my head, especially when surrounded by the pitch-shifted vocal loop that is just as sticky. If I have a problem, it’s Travis Scott, who once again confuses laziness for being interesting, cutting off elements of his vocal take for no functioning reason other than sounding awkward and “different” for a few bars before quickly dipping into typical flows he has always used to flex vapidly and take me out of just how fun the song should be, though he quickly disappears after. Frankly, both artists do end up disappointing in the core part of the song, even if I have no expectations for Travis other than substanceless garbage nowadays (“fetish for the money”? Seriously?), as both fail to truly make the best use of the instrumental possible, I think becaue Travis is useless and Asake just needs more space to go for the melodic approach, and is given so in the outro, where that rushed vocal loop is placed against smooth, spacey keys that Asake can croon and riff off of. I wouldn’t be surprised if that beautiful section is what MIKE DEAN contributed to the beat, but even with that, it feels like it was tacked on to grant the song more depth than it needs, and I end up pretty much torn damn near 50-50 on it despite a great instrumental. Maybe this would just be better-served by other artists, and not even because of talent dsparity, just because the limitations of the production would fit more frenetic artists than two Auto-Tune crooners. Overall, I do think I’m teetering positively on it, but I wanted to enjoy it way more given what Sarz and DEAN cooked up.

#1 - “BACKBONE” - Chase & Status and Stormzy

Produced by Chase & Status

Now this is how to go for pure intensity: there’s a screeching lead synth, a heavily elevated build that relies not on the instrumental to gather its swell, as Stormzy is much more of a unique presence than IRAH, mostly due to his switches in flow and cadence that convince you on his smug flexes and macho posturing which is honestly mostly just dedicated to defying “you” - not the listener, but an imagined sense of authority to rebel against and insult. That kind of relentless energy in the content may not translate perfectly when he’s still flexing materialistically, but it’s easier than ever to ignore the less populist elements of Stormzy’s bars when the intensity is just this high. The spiralling synth in the build wires down into a canvas of thumping bass tones in the drop, with the drums jumping off of pitch-shifted vocal fragments and stretched backing strings propelling from the back of the mix. The song refuses to commit to a copy-paste structure, with Chase & Status adding great, small details like the break fill before the second verse, the brief but absolutely cavernous, industrial-sounding drums behind Stormzy prior to the final drop, and those horns bursting with not just bombast but a real sinister tone by the end that helps bring back some of the immersion. This is honestly a really simple song structurally, especially lyrically, but the execution is so powerful it trumps the need for anything all too complex, and that probably would have ruined its chances at #1 anyway. It’s exactly the kind of straightforward banger you’d expect the trio to make and whilst like “Guess”, the other likeably obnoxious, arguably garish EDM collaboration to debut unexpectedly at #1, I don’t see ths lasting too long at the very top, I’m sure it can find its space below, and whatever run it has doesn’t take away from that initial spark that gave the production duo a long-overdue reign on the singles chart they’ve called home for over a decade now.

Conclusion

This should be the easiest episode ever for you to figure out who gets what. Shawn Mendes takes the Worst of the Week for “Why Why Why”, “BACKBONE” by Chase & Status and Stormzy gets the Best of the Week, we’ll probably see the new Bruno and Gaga collab shake things up next week alongside Hozier and Post, but we’ll see. For now, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy and I’ll see you next week!

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

I know you already probably answered this, but what is your age HC?

Also, get better soon anon 🙏 (not me. Unfortunately)

I answered that here but I love talking about them heeeheee

credit to @nrdmssgs who made this for our little universe

So, Price has a canon year of birth, 1985, and I respected it (he's one year younger than me, ugh...), so, as per the moment I'm in my fanfic (July 2023, first chapter starts January 2023) he is, or is about to be, 38

For Laswell I thought I took her voice actor's birth year (which is 1969) but no, I chose 1978 for some reason <_< that makes her 45, which I think is quite fine given her position and that she still goes to field missions and such

Then we (the Lastochka collective) chose 1980 as a busy year, with Nikolai, Yuri Volkov and Vladimir Makarov being born. That makes them about 43 (I know Yuri and Makarov haven't appeared yet in my fic but they will. And Nikolai is starring in next arc when I finish the spanish op)

Then we have my beloved Lt. Samoilova ( @nrdmssgs ) born in 1986, making her just slightly younger than Price and just as awesome.

Then we have Ghost. I have explained many times that I'm using his OG background per the comics and what we know as much as I can, and so I have adapted it to the times. Instead of enlisting because of 9/11, he enlisted because of the terrorist attack in London in 2005. I have settled that he was born in 1989, so that means he was 16 when he enlisted (the minimum age to enlist in the UK Army) and already an apprentice butcher. That makes him 34 during my fic.

In 1990 Lt. Scholten was born ( @siilvan ), that makes her 33 and absolutely awesome as well.

My beloved loremaster @siilvan / @eenochian clarified to me that Activision botched Gaz's date of birth twice, and right now the wiki says 1993 or before, so I chose 1992. He has an impressive record and I didn't want him to be too young, because he doesn't act like that tbh. So he's 31

Then there's my blonde disaster, born in 1994, so she's (about to turn) 29

And the beloved twins, Soap and Mini ( @sofasoap ), born in 1996, which makes them 27. I chose 1996 because the wiki says about Johnny born in 1996 or before. But we know he tried many times to get into the SAS before he was of age. For what I read, you can enlist in the UK Army at 16, but can only try for the SAS if they have served already for at least two years, and they must be at least 18 years old and 32 at most. So, to be even able to do the test he would have needed to serve for two years previously (it's canon that he was caught lying every time). So, at the very earliest he enlisted at 16.

I know you asked about their zodiacs but this one is already long so I'll get to it in another post <3

[unwelcome-ephestion]

Here’s a forgotten woman of musical theatre - Joan McCracken. She’s now mainly remembered as the first wife of Bob Fosse, but her contributions to musical theatre are much greater than that.

Image ID: publicity shot of Joan McCracken

McCracken shot to fame in Oklahoma!, credited in the programme as The Girl Who Falls Down because of her pratfall during ‘Many A New Day’. This might sound silly, but it would take until West Side Story for all individual chorus members to be assigned characters. The individual standing out from the chorus was a great surprise and added to the humour of the moment, and was a key innovation of choreographer Agnes De Mille. Joan McCracken went on to have a good Broadway career and appear in several films, although her work was hampered by diabetes, which she hid from her colleagues despite fainting spells, and which ultimately killed her aged only 43.

McCracken’s impact in Oklahoma! should not be underestimated - putting character before aesthetic was the show’s revolution, and her role was a huge part of that. She is also said to have encouraged Fosse to be a choreographer - whether that is true or not, it’s interesting that, like Gwen Verdon (Fosse’s second wife and Broadway legend), she was trained by George Balanchine, whose influence is evident in Fosse’s work. She is also said to be the inspiration for Holly Golightly, at least in part, in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, whose author, Truman Capote, had an affair with her first husband, Jack Dunphy. However, we should recognise her influence as an acting dancer and comedienne just as much as her influence on male creatives!

[howardhawkshollywoodmusic]

19. We'll Sing in the Sunshine by Gale Garnett debuted Aug 64 and peaked at number four, scoring 1244 points.

Gale was born in Auckland, New Zealand, and also wrote Sunshine. The follow up was her only other chart entry, but it did not make the top 40, however Gale did not disappear. As an actress she has 43 acting credits, from a 1959 tv episode to a 2011 tv episode and including My Big Fat Greek Wedding, as Aunt Lexy.

[sos-amchespin-sendhelp]

SOS CQ DE 40.4166N; 3.7038W? = TRAPPED IN ALTERNATE REALITY FOR 2 YR APPROX SFR; AM CHESPIN SEND HELP

Let me elaborate.

I presumed, for a good while, that my name was Alger.

The conditions on Zero Isle, and indeed most of the ocean, have worsened such that spacetime is strangling itself. I suppose it won't be long before the whole island is one colossal Mystery Dungeon and Magnagate latitude compressors cease to function. But before and therein lies a brief window of opportunity:

The small scraps of internet that leak through to this world from the one where I previously lived. Just enough for, say, an empty Rotom Phone from another world to send and view messages.

One of the first things I tried was to look up what little I remembered about myself, and discovered that I'd inadvertently stolen the name of a fictional rodent. But while my old identity is still lost to me, I have thankfully had two years to process that reality and friends to help me do so.

(Pictured: Leland, an Oshawott (♀) who I am half-convinced was randomly generated and unleashed upon the world like Mr. Bean descending from the heavens, and myself. Not Pictured: Auburn, the long-suffering Pikachu (♂) who figured out how to work the phone camera.)

There exists an alternate universe inhabited only by Pokémon, with an Earth quite like yours. Approximately 43% of its surface no longer exists.

It's difficult to describe — or even measure — something whose fundamental property is the degradation of properties: physical, epistemological, temporal. That, ultimately, is what is referred to as the Mystery Dungeon phenomena. Affected areas break down and warp in a process akin to AI image generation losing the plot and dissolving into incoherence. The simularities are uncanny.

I don't know why I'm here or why I'm not human anymore — assuming there's a reason to begin with — and to be frank I am very much freaking the fuck out about pretty much everything (also apparently this is a problem others have dealt with? wtf?). This blog/log/slog is primarily to call attention to the fact that, yes, "Fallers" (stupid name) are not just delusional. and the world they've fallen to is unraveling before my eyes. Also to figuring out who the hell I am would be nice i guess.

Ask me anything!

UPDATE: INTRODUCTION ACT 2

Until I can get a hold of a more consistent internet connection, expect transmissions of wildly fluxuating quality. There will be a lot of BARE-BONES MORSE CODE TRANSCRIPTIONS since that's the only thing that can fit through edgewise most of the time, interspersed with longer posts that I shall publish when the opportunity (and bandwidth) arises.

--- ((Yo waddup its yo boy @glassesfreekjr, This is a hybrid pokemon irl / askblog that may gradually spiral into its own plot. Ask me anything, send me anything, whatever you'd like. I'm dipping my toe in the water. He/Him.

((Potential Content Warning: for future character death and intense descriptions of dysphoria, mental illness, body horror, and/or cosmic horror. Depending how things go.

((I tend to mashup pre-existing artwork into original compositions. I will try to give credit wherever I can.))

[inglourious-imagines]

PROMPT LIST

Hello people! This is my own prompt list! Feel free to send requests! I’m really excited to do this haha

Also, this really took me some time to put it all together so please, if you reblog/use it/etc. give me credit. Thanks!

Update: If you have your own prompt that is not listed, quote or whatever else and you think it’s great, you can send it to me and we’ll see what comes out of it.

1. I fucking hate everyone. But you, you’re the only person I don’t hate.

2. And he looked at me, like there was something in me worth looking at. 

3. Anger makes you stupid. Stupid gets you killed.

4. I’m here. You can talk to me or not talk to me but I’m here.

5. Goddamn right you should be scared of me! 

6. And suddenly, life wasn’t about living. It was about surviving.

7. "-but you’ll die!“ "I don’t care." 

8. I said I’m fucking fine.

9. Don’t you touch her.

10. We sat there smoking cigarettes at 5 in the morning. 

11. Oh! The girl/boy I’ve heard so much about. 

12. No one would hurt you again, or I’d kill them.

13. A cigarette for a thousand problems.

14. I could keep you save. They’re all afraid of me.

15. You look so proud standing there with a frown and a cigarette. 

16. Thank you for loving me when I still tasted of heartache and war.

17. His eyes had more darkness than any other eyes I had ever seen before.

18. You don’t know shit about what happened to me. 

19. This is who we are, a product of war.

20. Looking half a corpse and half a god.

21. I wanna see how you lose control.

22. I look at you and I just love you and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you. 

23. "You can’t protect everyone.” “I have to try." 

24. He’s a badass with a good heart.

25. You are losing my interest, and that is very dangerous. 

26. In a fight, they’re lethal. Around each other, they melt. 

27. I wonder which will get you killed faster, your loyalty or your stubbornness.

28. You collect scars because you want proof that you are paying for whatever sins you’ve comitted. 

29. With this smile, I can get away with everything. 

30. I was so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend. 

31. Come over here and make me.

32. Oh my god! You’re in love with him!

33. Oh, do you ever shut up? 

34. Can you two please get a room? 

35. I have a name and it’s not sweetheart. 

36. If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me. 

37. Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy. 

38. Such dirty words from such a pretty little mouth. 

39. Kiss me. 

40. Are you flirting or starting a fight? 

41. You stay awake do you hear me?! Don’t you dare close your eyes! Please! Come on! 

42. Honestly, I only asked you for help because it’s so cute when you try.  

43. You’re standing a little close to me..

44. You’re evil. It’s hot. 

45. If you bite your lip one more time, I swear I’m going to do it for you. 

46. By the Gods! You love her, don’t you? 

47. It’s blood, not nuclear waste. Chill out. 

48. A knife? Are you flirting with me? 

49. "Hear me out.” “Why the fuck should i listen to you?" 

50. I’ve been wanting to kick your ass all week. 

51. Rumour has it, I make you nervous. 

52. Leave, leave right now.

53. Can you just fuck off already?

54. "I- I trusted you!” “Sweet naive girl, trust is for children. You are a soldier." 

55. Alcohol’s the only instant in my life.

56. You gotta stop saying things that make me want to kiss you. 

57. Please don’t do this. Don’t act like you care. 

58. Is everything supposed to go dark?

59. Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me. 

60. Fuck, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my whole life.

61. It’s 2 in the morning. Why are you still up?

62. I want an answer, goddammit! 

63. You make me want things I can’t have. 

64. Cut the crap and tell me what happened. 

65. Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.

66. It’s nice to see someone who can appreciate my humour.

67. We’re more than just friends and you know it. 

68. It’s pitch black in here and I can see you’re blushing.

69. Yes asshole, I do care about you.

70. They’re both stubborn and it’s complicated. 

71. For you, I would.

72. I like you more than I planned.

73. I need you, idiot.

74. Golden eyes and a smile made for war.

75. Take that, fuckers!

76. I licked it so it’s mine!

77. We’re in this together. 

78. Can I have this dance? 

79. Look, I know you’re a hardass but can you play with my hair? It would really help. 

80. No! Stay away from me! Stay back! 

81. Maybe if you actually stop staring at her and talk to her, you might have a chance. 

82. You have to promise you won’t fall in love with me.

83. I know that face. That’s your I’m-upset-with-you face. 

84. I think we’d make this a fair fight if we each had a gun. Don’t you think, boys? 

85. He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it.

86. Dear Lord, please have mercy on my soul. This woman/man will be the death of me. 

87. There are other things than Germans that can kill you. 

88. What the hell? You are supposed to hate me!

89. Why do you like me?

90. "You’re annoying.” “You love me.”

91. Wanna go to hell together? 

92. I lack the vocabulary to describe you.

93. You make me feel… you make me feel.“ 

94. What the fuck…?

95. So that’s you, the girl/boy who destroyed armies. 

96. You’re my regret.

97. You better not die on me! 

98. Can you stop shouting at me?!

99. Why are you making this so damn hard? 

100. But that’s the problem, (name). I don’t think I’m able to stop loving him/her. Ever. 

! UPDATE !

101. There is no way you’re going anywhere with him, not on my watch.

102. “You know you’re in love with her right?” “Since when?” “Since always.” 

103. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t do this.

104. I love you, I do, but you’re a real pain in the ass.

105. Is that my shirt?

106. Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.

107. I think I might be falling in love with you.

108. What are you talking about? You’re married!

109. I saw that. You just checked me out.

110. Quick, pretend you’re talking to me.

111. I just wanted to hear your voice.

112. That was, by far, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.

113. No. The moment you saw me as a bet was the moment you fucked up.

114. "It could be worse.” “You aren’t the one bleeding.” “Look, you’re still alive. Stop whining.”

115. Are you naked under that thing?

116. “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

117. What the hell were you thinking?! 

18. You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?

119. Well, if I told you, then it wouldn’t be a secret.

120. Is it weird that was a total turn on?

121. That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard.

122. If I kiss you right now, I won’t be able to stop.

123. What did you just say?

[murasakiirohana]

🎲 for sasuke and ino!

kiss roulette (accepting) II @tempestflames

11. A Kiss to the Stomach & 43. A bloody kiss

The Queen feels the difference this time when he kneels down on one knee in front of her. It wasn't the first time he had done so, but she could feel that it would be the last. Maybe it was the flames that she could see flickering at the gates of her kingdom that could be given the credit for this realization, but the Yamanaka was inclined to lend the reasoning to the fact that this one perhaps the only moment she ever felt she could read him more than his surface level.

After all, it was evident he wasn't here to be her knight. If he had been here for that, he would be standing in front of her, guarding her. Instead, he was kneeling on one knee quite closely to her, much closer than he would ever done before-- almost as if he needed to be close.

It didn't take long for her to realize why as she felt a sharp pain to her side from the sharp blade of the dagger he kept with him. A fatal wound? No, but enough to keep her from doing much else as she nearly lurched forward from the pain. Perhaps he wanted leverage. Her hand instinctively lifts to apply pressure to her wound, the blood already seeping to the surface.

And as if this scenario was not nearly twisted enough, he remains kneeling in front of her as he takes it upon himself to steady her so that she doesn't fall, his hand gripping on the hip of the uninjured side to keep her from falling forward--- still taking care of her even when she was suffering from a wound he had inflicted. Old habits die hard.

It was when he proceeds to add insult to injury by leaning forward to press a kiss to her clothed stomach that she can still somehow feel searing her skin that she truly feels her anger bubbling to the surface. A pained laugh escapes her lips because if she didn't let it then she knows a cry would escape instead to accompany the tears brimming in her eyes.

"I never knew you to be such a coward," she spits, her free hand reaching to grip his hair as she pulls his head back so that his eyes are forced to finally to meet hers. "Do not start acting like one now. Not in your victory."

The woman grips his hair tighter, pulling on it to signal for him to stand. He obliges, perhaps as a last act of obedience as her former knight. The Queen releases her grip as he finally stands, his eyes looking into her. He is silent as always, not even inclined to offer an explanation. Now, that was the man she knew.

The Queen removes the hand applying pressure to her wound. Covered in her blood, she brings her hand up to rest on his face, staining his cheek with it. "You had always urged me to be weary of those around you, I suppose I should have taken that for what it was-- a warning from you to me," the blonde smiles weakly, she's starting to get dizzy but she refuses to let it end like this. "Take this as a warning from me to you."

With that, the blonde reaches her other arm to snake around his neck as she pulled him into a forceful kiss. She can feel pain radiating through her body from her abrupt movements, but she doesn't let it deter her as she deepens the kiss as much as he allows. When she finally pulls away, she makes a point to let her bloody hand to slide down his face before it tightly grips his chin as she maintains eye contact shortly followed by her leaning forward so that her mouth was near his ear, "If I get an opportunity, I will take it."

It seems that that last act took all the strength that she had to remain conscious as the room suddenly goes dark for her. She collapses, and despite everything--- despite her blood smeared across his face from a wound he had inflicted-- he still catches her.