#onebadmother

[jbird5by5]

Currently watching “The Mother” on @netflix. About halfway through and I’m really enjoying what I’m seeing. @jlo is really good as a fierce protective mother.

#themother

#netflixandchill

#onebadmother

#happymothersday❤️

[just-lils]

When does postpartum depression end?

My child will be one (I know, WTAF?!) in a few weeks. Is that when postpartum magically ends? is there a time limit? After a certain point, it probably just shifts to regular depression. Will I ever feel like myself again?

Now Lils, whinging is not what Tumblr is for. Tumblr is for fandom and creativity (and infighting and white supremacy, which is why I’ve largely abandoned tumblr).  However, my feelings are too big for my skin and I don’t know where else to put this, so. I can’t be creative, I don’t have time for fandom. I knew I was going to have to give up parts of myself to be a mom, but this is harder than I expected. If I manage to get a spare 5 minutes to paint/draw/play music- it’s just....too much pressure. I don’t feel like I can do anything good in that timeframe, so I end up watching youtube videos of real creatives while getting a jump on all the dirty dishes. Trying to do art feels like picking up the pieces of a life and jamming them into a frame that’s too small. 

Even trying to re-enter fan spaces is hard. I don’t have anything much to say- I don’t have time to read fic. Most days I’m running on fumes, so when I have a few minutes to check in with friends it’s not “This latest fic from X is AWESOME” it’s “My kid is *finally* asleep and it is AWESOME.” I don’t want to be the person that prattles on about their kid and is constantly showing pics, but literally the only thing I’m doing is trying to keep this tiny human alive. Not that I was interesting before, but I am VERY BORING now.  Being a new mom during the pandemic is lonely. I have a feeling that motherhood, pandemic or not, can feel very lonely. We moved right before the pandemic hit, so there’s not really a support network where we are. Very few friends and family have actually met my daughter. Now that things seem to be looking up, maybe that’ll change. As with fandom, though, I feel it will be difficult to reenter that space. Things are too different, now. Maybe if I enter rooms like the Kool-Aid Man and just say “What up? I’m a mom now!” I can start from a place of humor instead of being nervous about being judged. Lead with humor, right? 

I’m realizing that some of these feelings stem from pressure to be “old Lils” and contribute to the group in the same way I used to. I can’t anymore. I’m sorry.

MomLils will be fun/creative/a fully functioning adult again at some point.

[chineseladybug]

Wanted to share a podcast I did with One Bad Mother hosted by the amazing Biz Ellis. We talked about everything—how my comic storytelling during the pandemic helped me deal with all my big feelings. Everything from the rise in Asian hate crimes to the tough decision of choosing remote learning for my 6-year-old vs in-school learning to surviving as a Mom while WFH. It was recorded a few days before the tragic killings in Atlanta. What’s surreal is I talk with Biz about the kind of racism I experienced a year ago where I overheard someone at the salon talking shit about Asians. And today, look how we’ve evolved into 3,800 Asian hate crimes and counting. And that’s just in the past year. It’s devastating. . . Much gratitude to Biz Ellis, the wonderful host of One Bad Mother and Gabe Mara, its awesome producer. And many thanks to Meg Lemke, my phenomenal editor at Mutha Magazine who connected us. #OneBadMother #mommyhood https://www.instagram.com/p/CMjywyDBpz2/?igshid=17pjm7pdddsax

[boricuagoddess79]

#CurrentMood trying to understand why I'm dressed and waiting in the car and yet my kid who has a #volleyball game in a few isn't #imtiredtoday #mommode #adventuresofsinglemomdom #kidchauffer #onebadmother https://www.instagram.com/p/BvWrgWmlzJR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=6uveku3zdksw

[greenteaafter12am]

Not a big deal, but it's the little things. For the first time in 5 years, my phone wallpaper isn't a picture of my kid. It's our #ineffablehusbands .

At first I felt guilty. But no. This is a good thing. "I am a self", after all. I can have interests outside being a mom, and that's okay. In fact, it's great! My kid should see me as a self, too. It's good for both of us.

#goodomens fandom has been liberating.

[hodgman]

I don’t know if Biz Ellis has ever seen the movie NEAR DARK, but I have a feeling she would appreciate it! Biz and @theresathorn are the amazing humans at the @onebadmothers podcast. If you’re having a mother’s day hangover (emotional or otherwise) they are just the tonic for you. Just more of those wonderful regular human beings of the #maxfundrive for you. bit.ly/DODODOIT please. And thank you. 
 (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/COtK8ImFSUb/?igshid=1rkc7plctmkmi

[wearetracy]

A bunch of Shaftseses. iChuckle! It looks silly good. Not so serious. Shaft, shaft and shaft. Between this and Hobbs & Shaw; summer will be hilarious. #shaft #shaft2019 #onebadmother #wearetracy https://www.instagram.com/p/BtreFLSBhR4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ghfuj15wu5i8

[artthanks]

There's probably not much point in sharing my thumbnails for #OneBadMother but the thumbnails are all done. We've got 9 pages (so just a short story) and i think it's looking pretty good!

Right now, just cause this is a hobby project, I've only got a rate of one page completely inked per week, but once I get the pencils finished i think I might be able to up that to 2 pages a week, and Page 3 should be done this week. Talking with my friend and writer Liam, we're not decided on batch updates or weekly updates, but I'm hoping we'll have the first completed post next week!

This comic takes place in the same setting as my novel Rabbitdown, which I haven't talked about much but if you followed my inktober drawings, you're probably at least familiar with the characters. So it's kind of funny having someone else write a story for my setting while I draw it, even if the events and characters are unrelated. Regardless, I think this little mini project is shaping up nicely and I hope you will all enjoy it when it's done!

[tcrferrets]

via Twitter https://twitter.com/TCRferrets

[tcrferrets]

via Twitter https://twitter.com/TCRferrets