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#one week there was a scoutmaster that made my life a living hell. he (verbally) attacked me and my staff multiple times
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Christ on a cracker I'm falling apart
#so heres the thing. i got back from two months of summer camp a week ago#i was an area director. very stressful. my favorite job ever but stressful#i got home a week ago#but the thing im having most trouble with is sleep#as in i cant sleep. at all#it takes me over an hour to fall asleep and i cant stay asleep through the night#im almost one hundred percent sure it's because of stress#honestly tho i feel like all of my problems can be tracked back to stress#anywho i think this is camp stress come to haunt me#why do i think this is? well im glad you asked#the first night i got back and tried to sleep i had a dream#that my staff kept coming into my bedroom to ask me questions whoch made it so i couldnt sleep#and it kept waking me up because i was afraid i had camp problems to deal with#not ideal. but austyn couldnt that just be a one time thing?#god i wish#ive had no less than two more dreams about camp stresses in the week that ive been back#some variation of being with my staff or friends and them needing something so i wake up#and i cant get to sleep because im thinking about it#one week there was a scoutmaster that made my life a living hell. he (verbally) attacked me and my staff multiple times#(i am so upset that he went after my staff btw. say what you want about me but ill kill you if you go after my staff)#(and he picked the sweetest one of my staff members to attack too. when i vented about this she said 'id fight to the death for you')#(following me telling her that id always fight for my staff)#and the other night while i was trying to sleep i just couldnt stop thinking about that scoutmaster#i love camp but it is stressing me out way more than usual and i am falling apart because of it#i cant sleep. im nearly passing out at work. im depressed (that always happens after leaving tho). im anxious#so. anxious. and so. tired. fucking exhausted#in the last week i haven't had more than one consecutive hour of sleep#i swear this is going to get worse and worse until one day i just collapse and die#okay. gonna try to sleep. wish me luck. love yall. goodnight
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