#one was a really long hang the dj au from black mirror

[il-predestinato]

hello beautiful elle

since it is going to be a long 3 months without our boys could you please recommend some fics that you liked? cause i really like your writings and how realistic they are and i wanted to get some of you suggestions for the break!

love you loads

Thank you, lovely anon, for your very kind message! 🥺 I must admit I have fallen behind in reading fics. I am sure I am forgetting some excellent Lestappen fics/writers, but these are some of my all-time favourites!

Lestappen Fic Recs:

And in the end I will seek you out amongst the stars by mandzilkos (@geeeooorrrge) - rating: G, 22k words

Soulmate AU where you see in black and white until you meet your soulmate, and the world goes back to black and white after your soulmate dies. This is ALWAYS the first Lestappen fic that comes to mind whenever anyone asks for a recommendation, and it is probably my all-time favourite. The fic that inspired me to write Lestappen, if I'm honest.

getting half of you just ain't enough by shybear_styles - rating: E, 20k words

The friends with benefits story that spans the 2019 season. The only thing better than amazing smut is amazing smut with feels. For sure a top 5 fic in the Lestappen fandom for me. Also, this author is simply amazing in general and you should read all of her fics! I haven't given up hope that she will return one day and write more Lestappen. 🤧

you feel the mornin' feel by shybear_styles - rating: M, 3.3k words

Remember that time Sebastian Vettel asked Charles, "Is he [Max] pretty?" And we never got an answer because Charles descended into gay panic? Well, worry not! We get an answer in this fic.

Monaco Malaise by ProngsfootxJily (@cupidskissx) - rating: E, 8k words

Rivals with benefits, takes place after the 2021 Monaco Grand Prix. Yes, this one is delicious smut but also a character study. Both of them are written so well, and it leaves you begging for more. Don't forget to check out the equally amazing sequel! (Don't worry, I have been relentlessly harassing her to write the sequel's sequel.)

algorithm by Anney (@badboy-george) - rating: M, 17k words

In a world where F1 uses simulation-based compatibility tests, five times Max doesn't find the right partner and the one time he does. Black Mirror ("San Junipero" and "Hang the DJ") vibes in the best way. Another one of my absolute favourite fics. If you've read any Lestappen fics, you've probably read "Every Other Sunday." This one is simply a masterpiece by the immensely talented Anney; definitely check out her other fics!

panem et circenses by Anney - rating: E, 13.2k words

Wow - simply devastating, haunting, an ode to these two as drivers, set in a dystopian future AU. The world building is absolutely incredible, but at its heart is such a beautiful story of love and hope. This one doesn't get enough recognition. (TW: implied non-con, not between Lestappen.)

Unlearn by wantinghopingwriting (Tazza1993) (@lightsoutfullhearts) - NR, 45k words

This is another all-time favourite, a must-read. Fake/pretend relationship to lovers multi-chapter story that is ever so satisfying; both of them are so well characterized. Set in a parallel-ish 2022 season. I really cannot recommend this one enough.

the edge of what can be loved by Ledger_m (@the-last-jedis) - rating: T, 13k words

The third wheel fic from the perspective of Max and Charles' various "Steves." It's funny, heartwarming, and everyone on the grid is nosy as fuck.

Charles Leclerc vs Red Bull caps by Ledger_m - rating: T, 6.4k words

Charles is the hero we all need, as he goes on a mission to get rid of all of Max's stupid Red Bull caps. This is REQUIRED reading! Kami is a genius. Go read all of her fics.

If You Don't Play, You'll Never Win by antimonyandthyme (@antimonyandthyme) - rating: T, 4.1k

Post 2021 Monaco Grand Prix. Max wants to take their relationship further; Charles... doesn't. Oh my God, where do I begin to describe how much I love this fic. The language is beautiful, both of them are so well-written, and I feel punched in the gut over and over again in the best way. The ending (well, the whole thing) is so damn satisfying.

all's well that ends well (to end up with you) by stylestappen (@stylestappen) - rating: G, 3k words

Max has a meltdown in the cereal aisle (yes, the cereal aisle) at 3 am when he realizes he is in love with Charles despite the latter's questionable taste in cereal. Dani has an absolutely wicked sense of humour! (Although I don't understand what she has against cocoa puffs 😭.) She also wrote a banger of a Lestappen soon-to-be teammates fic, so make sure to check out her profile.

Max Verstappen: Spotify Extraordinaire by frnndtorres - rating: G, 26k words

Max makes Spotify playlists for the grid. Fluffy, funny, care-free, liberal use of nicknames, with a healthy dose of feels between Max and Charles. A really fun read.

i love the way your green eyes mix with that malibu indigo by altissimozucca (@altisssimozucca) - rating: G, 11k words

Max and Charles spend summer of 2020 together in Malibu and try not to fall in love. Spoiler alert: they fall in love. I feel the urge to explain something: When I first started reading Lestappen, there were less than 250 fics in their entire tag (yeah I know, we are currently close to 3000 fics, which is insane). From 2019-2021, we truly lived off crumbs. So trust me when I say that we owe so much to altissimozucca, who wrote something like 40% of the fics in the Lestappen tag and nearly single-handedly kept us fed in those days. It's so hard to pick one of her fics to recommend, so make sure you check out her profile for more!

#803442 by altissimozucca - rating: M, 1k words

Max and Charles celebrate the end of the 2019 season in a hotel room. So soft, so fluffy, so satisfying.

Bruises by eefiplier - rating: E, 5.1k words

I think of this one as THE Lestappen smut fic. Oh my God, it's 5k words of amazing established relationship smut with all the feels. A classic. I can read this one over and over again.

outside the box by playclock (@endowataru) - rating: M, 6.1k words

Max falls in love with Charles' driving... oh and Charles himself too. They are ultra competitive idiots who are madly in love. There aren't enough established relationship fics out there, but this one is simply amazing. And don't forget to check out this author's profile for additional Lestappen fics. I promise every single one is a banger!

i made it link by link by purpleglasseswrites (@f-ferrari-forever) - rating: M, 4.2k words

Charles and Max try to be kinky, but who are they kidding - they are far too vanilla for that stuff. 🤣 This one is so sweet, and don't forget to read the sequel!

One man's trash, another man's treasure by AzziNow (@track-terror-apologist) - rating: T, 4.2k words

Charles turns into a raccoon and terrorizes everyone except Max. (Well, he terrorizes Max too... slightly.)

Call it madness, call it love… by AzziNow - rating: M, 3.5k words

Ferrari auctions off Charles for charity. No angst, just fluff. Alpha!Max/Alpha!Charles. So I confess that I never read A/B/O fics. There's nothing wrong with it - just not my cup of tea. But I really enjoyed this one. Al has such a chaotic sense of humour.

it all reminds me of you by grandprix (@grandprix-ao3) - rating: E, 3k words

Secret relationship Lestappen with flashbacks. Oh the yearning, the desire, the smut - incredibly satisfying. I must put a plug-in for this author's other Lestappen fics as well. Never misses - make sure to check them out!

burning you into my mind by thightattoos - rating: E, 4.1k words

Porn with feels and possessiveness. You cannot ask for anything more. I must have read this one a dozen times.

an evil plan or two by witchee_writer - rating: T, 5.2k words

Max and Charles are roped into a plan to get Brocedes back together; they come to a few realizations along the way. The only thing better than a Lestappen fic? A Lestappen AND Brocedes fic!

Fine Line by empireoffclouds - rating: NR, 7k words

One of the more light-hearted enemies to friends to lovers fics. I absolutely adore their dynamic here - it's snarky, warm, but also so them. The incomplete sequel is also a super fun read.

Into Darkness Of Thought by flamingosarepink - rating: T, 1k words

After the 2019 Japanese Grand Prix, Charles thinks Max isn't coming back to their shared space.

steal softly under castle walls by untouchableocean - rating: G, 521 words

Max gets home late from Milton Keynes and Charles has already fallen asleep. Short, tooth-rooting fluff of the best kind.

Zoomies by greeny1710 (@maxlambiase) - rating: E, 2.2k words

This one is just hilarious. A (mostly) naked Max walks into Charles' team Zoom call during the COVID lockdown.

...and many, many more that I'm sure I have forgotten! 🙈 You can also check out my AO3 bookmarks (the first few pages are pretty much all Lestappen fics).

Please remember to leave kudos and comments for these amazing writers. The talent in this fandom is absolutely incredible. They all deserve so much recognition. Happy reading!

[darcyfirth]

31 + 40 for Hartwin? I’m in the mood for some angst! (Love, manners-maketh-eggsy 💜)

“I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you?” Eggsy read from the paper in his hand. 

“Nope, try again. With more feelings this time,” said Harry, flicking open a file on his table. 

Eggsy did as ordered, and Harry just sighed dramatically, which included a touch of disappointing look and a tired frown on his lips. 

“Perhaps we should find other ways for you to approach the mark. Not everyone is good at luring targets in bed.” 

Slumping on his chair, paper forgotten, Eggsy scowled, “I never stood a chance, did I?”

“It's not the way you deliver the line that's the problem, Eggsy. You have to make them believe what you're saying, and only by doing so can convince them that you're hopelessly in love with them.” 

“Easy for you to say.” Eggsy huffed. 

“Don't,” Harry warned. “The way I used to do it is I tried to imagine the person I was talking to was someone I actually loved. Helped a lot when you utilise your own emotions. And a lot of practice wouldn't hurt either.” He straightened his back, beckoned Eggsy closer, said, “Now. Try it one more time. Look at me and imagine I'm someone you adore, or have harboured affections for, and repeat the line.” 

Eggsy gulped and leaned forward, hand on the table, his gaze shy and earnest. 

His other hand carefully covered Harry's, the man didn't pull back. 

“I can't bear kissing anyone else and pretending that they are you.” 

A brief pause hung between them like a taut string. For almost ten seconds, nobody breathed. 

Then, Harry smiled and clapped, removing his hand under Eggsy's to do so. 

“That was perfect. Almost fooled me for a second there,” he said. 

He quickly tidied his items on the table and stood up to pat Eggsy on the arm. “I think you're ready for it, Galahad.” And as if he was being chased, walked out of the room in long, swift strides before the heat on his cheeks would make itself known.

dialogue prompts

[yesokaythatsfine69]

Moments in-between

Description: HC's of aot characters that are all kinda madly in love with y/n, if only just in different ways. Aspects of Modern au.

Character(s): Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Marco, Sasha, Connie, Historia, Ymir, Annie, Reiner, Bertholdt, Levi, Erwin, Hanje

POV: 2nd, 3rd

Warning(s):

A/n: I know I said that I was ending my aot works but after the last episode's intense trauma I need some home groan therapy. Also please don't make fun of me for misspelling both Bertolt and Hange's names continually. Enjoy

Word Count: x

Song: lmao listen to everywhere I go by Hollywood undead.

*none of the gifs used are mine, full credit goes to the maker.

Y/n invites the AOT gang to a party.

You looked around for your friends, having foolish lost track of the chaotic group after you paused to hang your coat up. You warned them all to remain close, these college parties tended to get a little wild for your liking, but of course, they were all too stubborn.

"Hey you! I already said that we weren't playing Lady Gaga here!" Your ears prickled, and you turned, seeing Hanje at the DJ's box. You quirked a brow but made a mental note of where she was for later.

You moved on, searching for the rest of your friends. You opened the door to a bathroom, finding several girls hunched over, puking into the toilet, sink, and tub. Erwin was standing in the midst of the chaos, holding their hair as they drunkenly emptied their guts.

"Erwin? We've been here five minutes!" Erwin looked up at your newfound appearance. "Y/n! Quick, I think something in their drinks made them sick, you need to warn the other people at this party!" You met his blue eyes, "What?" He made a motion with his right hand, accidentally tugging on a girl's hair and bobbing her head. "Hey!" She squeaked before puking again. "Hurry, Y/l/n! They may not have much time left."

You rolled your eyes. "Erwin, they're drunk, not suffering from food poisoning." He looked down at the girls. "Really?" You sighed.

Later, you came upon Levi, who had been keeping a practiced eye on Hanje and other various members of your friend group. He had designated himself the designated driver of the group, which was admirable but you made sure not too drink too much either, knowing that there was no way Levi could possibly deal with all of you being wasted.

Reiner had challenged Annie to a drinking game, and was in the midst of losing miserably, whilst Bertholdt silently cleaned up the mess that Reiner and Annie created with their squashed beer cans.

You also found ymir and Historia cheerfully dancing to Poker face, and you marveled at the way the two seemed to be in their own world. You smiled, at the red that dusted ymir's cheeks and at Historia's hand on her cheek. A crash from the kitchen behind you caused you to cringe and jump slightly, before you rushed in.

Not unsurprisingly you found Connie and Sasha at the epicenter of the chaos. Neither were drunk but both were still idiots. A broken dish and what had been cheese fries was on the floor at their feet. "Hey! What'd I say about getting into their food?" You pointed threateningly at the duo. "If we do it don't get caught?" Sasha had a fry in her mouth and big eyes. "Clean this up, I'll go get Levi." "Oh, no don't get Levi!" Connie whined, waving his hands dramatically. "I'm getting him!"

Marco and Armin had found a old monopoly game and had sat down to play it in the dinning room of the house. You found it especially funny at the amount of girls the two had unwittingly attracted, who sat down to play with them.

"Y/n!" You perked up and turned, careful to not spill your drink. Jean smiled at you, his eyes the tiniest bit lidded. "Care for a dance?" You had actually been expecting this, since Jean's flirtiness doubled with the mix of alcohol. "You look hot, y/n!" He gently wrapped his hands around you as the two of you slid onto the dance floor. You laughed, enjoying Jean's wild dance moves. Finally he popped into a Russian dig, "hype me up best friend!" He called, and you whooped until he ran right into Eren.

"You drunk idiot! Hello, Y/n!" Eren glared at Jean, but smiled at you. "Look at this drink I made! It was clear but now it's brown!" Before you could respond, Jean hopped up. "y/n doesn't care about your shit drink!" You sighed as the two began arguing, which slowly developed into a tense dance battle between the two men.

Mikasa had been with Eren, you guessed most likely protectively watching over him. She watched with you, before you smirked and outstretched your hand. Mikasa took it, a blush creeping onto her cheeks.

In the soft glow of a living room, you and Mikasa danced together to an old 80's tune, the rest of your friends giving elsewhere. It was a nice party.

--------------------------------------------------

Y/n wears a skimpy outfit

You smiled at yourself in the mirror, tugging gently on your new top. Oftentimes you found it hard to truly appreciate your body, but the corseted top made you feel like a definite hot girl. You wore long black shoes, tight leather pants, dark jewelry. You just looked ready to step on some bitches.

You exited your room, and grabbed your purse, ready to head out with your girls. Eren was sitting on your coach, playing some video game. "Hey we'll be heading out soon so I left some numbers to order pizza for when you get hungry." You turned, digging in your purse for your keys. "Y/n, I'm not a child! I can take care of- holy shit, y/n!" You turned, Eren had dropped his controller, no longer focused on his game. "You can't go out like that! There are men out there!" You smiled and pulled out ur taser, flashing it a couple times. "I know."

Mikasa exited her room from the same hall, entering the living room. "Y/n, you look nice." You smiled and put your taser up. "thanks Mikasa!" "Wait, Mikasa you're going out too?" Eren stood up. "it's girls night out, Eren." You rolled your eyes. "but I wanna go too!" Mikasa opened her mouth but you beat her to it. "No."

The front door opened and Armin entered, his blonde hair flittering in his eyes. "Hey; Eren, Mikasa, and..." A blush erupted onto his cheeks. "Y/n!" His blues casted panicked glances around the room as if he wasn't sure he should make direct eye contact with you.

Eren pointed to his flustered friend. "See!" Again you rolled your eyes. "You look v-very nice, y/n." Armin mumbled before he sat down. "Thanks, sweetie." Armin's face reddened.

Suddenly the front door to the apartment flung open, allowing Jean, Marco, and Connie to enter. They were in the midst of conversation, laughing at a joke Connie had said. "Hey bitch-" Jean's words caught somewhere in the back of his throat as he saw you. His cheeks erupted into fire and he stopped, causing Connie and Marco to slam into him. "Hey!" Connie looked past Jean's frozen position, and smiled knowingly. "Bark, Bark, Bark! Y/n you look a sexy grim reaper!" Jean blinked as you laughed. Connie slid past Jean and made his way to the kitchen, giving the others a greeting as he did so.

Marco smiled at your outfit. "You look so pretty y/n!" Your cheeks were beginning to hurt from happiness and you wondered if you should wear this stuff more often and not just in your dreams. Jean seemed to snap out of it. "You...you...nice, y/n." He managed to get out, not right before Eren made fun of his stuttering.

Sasha exited her room, and to the delight of everyone gave a twirl in her little dress. "y/n! You look very nice!" She may or not have said whilst grabbing your boob. Historia admitted to helping you pick out the fit, and ymir made everyone thank her for her service.

"you should wear this more often, y/n. Or at least less more often." Annie nudged you from behind. You were amazed at her sauveness but also the blush that dusted the tips of her ears.

Reiner and Bertholdt came through the fire escape (because Reiner has been on a "parkour!" Kick recently. But Reiner made sure to call you hot, (effectively pissing off both Jean and Eren.) And Bertholdt simply blushed, quickly agreeing with Reiner.

Finally Hanje, Erwin, and Levi arrived, Levi bringing leftovers from his tea shop. Hanje had squealed and called you "hot!" Erwin was certain you were only wearing a bra and refused to look at you, whilst Levi couldn't take his eyes off of you, but said nothing all the same.

"Well ladies, I hope you all are ready!" Hanje smirked. "Who's riding with me?"

--------------------------------------------------

Y/n gets a tattoo

"So...what do you think?" You stood in front of Hanje, Annie, and Ymir, your shirt raised to your underboob. Hanje clapped excitedly. "It looks great, y/n!" "I like the view." Annie said dryly. Ymir nodded. "yeah it's nice, just don't show Historia."

"Don't show me what?" Historia entered the living room via the kitchen. Immediately her eyes found your tattoo, and she smiled. "lovely!"

The others found the tattoo under different circumstances however.

Sasha had known first, since she went with you to get it originally, having helped you pick out the design. By that I mean, she mainly just agreed with whatever you said but helped you out none the less. Mikasa found out before you were training together, (she thought it looked cool).

Eren found out because he walked in on you in the shower. "Shit! Wait is that a tattoo!?" He would've told you he liked it had you not kicked the shit out of him and lectured him about coming over to your apartment constantly, blah, blah, blah.

Armin found out because you showed him, (and he promptly died a bit) but he also really liked it and you invited him to come get another one with you some time. Maybe, just maybe you had a weak spot for the blonde.

Jean and Connie found out because you sent Marco a snap of it, and they looked at it from over his shoulder. Connie laughed at Jean's sharp in take of breathe and Jean tackled Connie. Meanwhile as they fought in the background Marco sent you a video snap of his response.

Reiner found out via a training session, much like Mikasa. "Why, y/n I never knew what a sly devil you could be!"

Bertholdt knew because Reiner made sure to describe it to him in great detail, knowing that the tall fellow would get flustered.

Erwin was probably told at some point but forgot so anytime he sees in you in a bikini or something skimpy he gets his mind blown.

Levi found out because, you may or may not have sent him a snap (with much different intentions then the one you had sent Marco.) Levi thought it was badass, though.

--------------------------------------------------

Y/n kisses the AOT gang

Yes, you had kissed each member of the gang. For any of these bitches, they could get it, let's be real.

You had given Eren forehead kisses many a time between he and you. This had been pretty random but regardless, it was something the two of you did often.

You often kissed Armin on the cheek, pinching them together whilst you smushed his face and pulled him in for hugs. Really, you loved Armin.

You kissed Jean on several occasions, partially because you weren't one to refuse an offer from an attractive man and also it was the quickest way to fluster the boy. He has the king of talking the talk but never actually walking the walk.

You give Marco and Connie platonic cheek kisses everytime you see each other. They also give you cheek kisses back. Marco also gives hugs!

You blow Reiner kisses all the time because that's exactly what your friendship is.

You give Bertholdt sweet little cheek kisses and he's always a blushing mess afterwards.

You give Erwin goodbye kisses and he always returns them.

You've made out with Levi. His tongue's been in your mouth. Yes, you kiss.

You give Hanje cheek kisses all the time. You seriously love this woman.

You've made out with Annie too. You also give her kisses on her neck just to hear her giggle.

You and ymir don't usually kiss, but you and Historia kiss each other's cheek.

You've kissed Sasha smack on the lips before, and you two cuddle all da time.

You give Mikasa forehead kisses because touch isn't necessarily her love language but you know when she needs it.

--------------------------------------------------

Y/n gets into a fight

You don't get in trouble, like ever. You're reliable, kind, level headed. However sometimes you come across a Titan of an issue and need your friends to rally behind you.

Historia will get into an argument for you, but she isn't scary at all, nor is she very powerful when it comes to muscle might.

Mikasa will kill a bitch for you. Straight up. She may not always show it outright but she loves you.

Ymir would video tape the ass whooping of whoever dares to cross you until they tried to come after Historia. Then she's seeing red.

Annie would laugh at whoever is trying to fight you. She won't step into the fray directly until you need her though, she trusts you do take care of it.

Eren doesn't care if they haven't even thrown a punch if they even say a damn thing that he doesn't feel you deserve he will start the fight. He has no self control. He's an aries.

Jean will also fight for you. He'd be a hundred percent more levelheaded about the problem but he won't let you take shit.

Connie will at first be confused and then pull his signature "bruh" face. He'll be the one that takes the phone from Ymir after Historia gets involved.

Sasha will try to protect you the best she can. She doesn't want you hurt so she'll probably grab a spoon as a weapon and charge.

Reiner is just trying to vibe and then suddenly he's pulled into an all out war. Sigh. But at least it's for you.

Hange will find this all very funny, but she'll help out in between snorts.

Erwin will just stand there looking at your antagonist dead in the eye with the slightest raise of his brow. That's the end of it all.

Armin will go all manipulative bestie on however is bothering you.

Levi merely get in between you. He may be short but nothing scare him and he's literally willing to kick some ass if need be.

Bertolt would just take you somewhere else. Yes he's super annoyed and upset at this person, but he has better things to do with his time.

--------------------------------------------------

Y/n gets a dog

To be honest, you'd wanted a pet for a long long time. Living closely with seven other women- and essentially nine men, had made that prospect rather slim, until one day approximately four months ago when you dropped the question.

The response was rather positive, so you carefully crafted a schedule and supplies.

The little puppy had been the runt of the litter, but that didn't bother you one bit (your not so secret infatuation of a certain 5'2" raven haired fellow solidified that.)

You were the first person to arrive home that day, and when you did you hurried to get the house puppified.

Bertolt came by early that day and was the first to see the puppy. At first he wasn't so sure about the little rascal. It seemed so hyper, a little too hyper, actually. But then, it licked him and he fell in love. He actually completely forgot you were even there he was so enthralled.

Levi came by with takeout, and much like Bertolt he wasn't sure about this creature. He'd always been more of a cat person, but even then he wasn't exactly an animal person. Just too messy. But for your sake he pat the pup on the head. (And to both your and bertolt's shock the puppy began to follow Levi around.

Armin loved the puppy. He immediately scooped it up and sang to it. You had never seen the blonde so happy as he cooed over the little Beasty. He raised it up into the air and swung it until Levi yelled at him for waving the animal over the takeout.

Erwin seemed a bit indifferent to the dog, almost as if the animal had just always been there. He did make sure however to share his food with it.

Hange tickled the poor animal savagely, vowing to buy it a sweater for the winter. You told them they didn't have to, but they refused. "What's a godparent for?"

Sasha vowed to help feed it and promised it that she would only buy it the best food possible.

Marco adored the tiny thing. "have you named him yet?" He had asked while lovingly scratching behind it's ears. "he looks like a sugar...or a Coco?"

Connie immediately sat down and started playing with newly named Sugar. "Connie! You're getting Sugar too riled up." Levi warned, but right then Connie was attacked by the tiny pup, and despite the small size of the dog the sheer force almost knocked Connie over. "Tch, idiot."

Jean was the first to take Sugar for a walk and you joined him. Together the two of you laughed at how cute Sugar looked as he bounced around in the grass. You made sure to have Jean clean up after him though, don't worry.

Sugar immediately fell asleep on Eren who threatened anyone that would dare touch or wake up him. Eren was extremely content with this little ball of joy.

Annie wasn't really excited for the puppy but she did promise to train Sugar when it was time, so there's that.

Ymir tried to act similar to Annie but Ymir is a total dog person, and after a bit she scoped up Sugar and put the sleeping pup on her own lap.

Mikasa was just happy everyone else seemed happy. She did sit by ymir though so she could get a few good pats in.

Later that night Historia grabbed the puppy and took him into her room, which she shared with Ymir. Really this puppy wasn't yours, it was everyone's.

--------------------------------------------------

The AOT gang goes to a concert

You pulled into Eren's hand practically dragging him through the crowd. "That's the last time I'm letting you lead us anywhere, Eren!" He groaned behind you. "I thought the sign said Row one, it was an honest mistake!" You shot him a dangerous glare. "It was a sign for the bathroom!"

Finally you met up with your friends, who were all already comfortably seated, waiting for the concert to begin. "Hey guys sorry we're late, we had some...sign trouble."

You and Eren found your seats, "Good news is if anyone wants to know where the bathrooms are.." you elbowed your brunette friend.

When the concert began, it was immediately pretty damn hype. You and Jean clasped hands and danced together, shouting out the lyrics to the first song at the top of your lungs.

At the second song and Sasha took orders for food, and grabbed some grub. As you waited in the unnecessarily long line you pulled her into a hug and took a quick picture.

When you returned you stood by Reiner, but some big headed bastard had moved in front of your spot. So you climbed into Reiner's shoulders and screamed at the stage from your pretty impressive view.

Connie dared you to throw your bra on stage, but didn't actually think you'd do it. His face, and literally everyone around you, was priceless. In fact, you got a round of applause.

Hanje was video tapping about 90% of it, but they often drapped a hand around your shoulders and pulled you into the video, the two of you singing along to the musicians voice.

You and Levi held hands when a soft song came on, him pulling you into his chest at just the right note. You dipped your head into the chin, enjoying the soft thud of his heartbeat against the deep bass of the speakers. It was nice.

You face timed Bertolt, who unfortunately couldn't attend because he had "work". He enjoyed the concert better from that angle anyways.

You and Historia took a ton of pictures! So many! Some weren't even in focus! But you two didn't care!

Marco grabbed his phone light every chance he got and kept accidentally flashing it in people's eyes. He got you like seven times.

Erwin kept complaining that it was too loud, but you literally saw him full on do the sprinkler because he was vibing so hard.

You and Mikasa went to the bathroom together, and you forced her to take a picture with you. You also got lost on the way back but Mikasa helped guide you back. What would you do without her?

When you returned you ran into ymir and Historia dancing together, laughing and giggling. Damn them and their happiness.

After the show you and Armin went and met the people you watched and got a picture with them. They kept referring to Armin as your boyfriend so in the photo he looks like a tomato. He swore you to secrecy.

On the way back to the apartment you switched riders with Hanje so that she could take Eren home and you could just take Annie back to the apartment you shared. The whole way back you just let loose in the car. Annie could be very loud when with people she trusts entirely.

-------------------------------------------------

Y/n flirts with the AOT gang

Unfortunately for you y/n you're not the sad drunk, clumsy drunk, dancer drunk, you're the flirty drunk. I guess there are worse things, though. These are the times when drunk you has flirted with your friends and their reactions.

One time you got blasted at a work party and Eren had to come drive you home. He was shocked at first, but he truly does care about you and is also the most oblivious person ever so he was just like "okay."

Annie was super confused at first, but she actually really liked the attention. She'd never admit that to you though. So she just kinda bumped shoulders with you and almost knocked you down, had she not caught you.

Jean actually almost shit himself your flirting flustered him so bad. But he realized that you were drunk and immediately lifted you up and took you home.

Armin blushed, squeaked, and giggled. He knew you were drunk but he just couldn't help it. He helped you to bed and you fell asleep next to each other.

Sasha took you out to eat immediately after you said you wanted to go on a date with a hot babe like her, because she just needs one reason to go get something to munch on. It helped sober you up and when you puked she held your hair. Besties.

You did have a line though and you never actually flirted with Historia or Ymir but Ymir always took videos of you drunk and Historia always made sure to help you to bed. Those two were your constant watch dogs though when you were having fun.

Reiner "pretends" to go along with your flirting. He really just likes it because your hawt. "oh really? Tell me more about my eyes." He does however makes sure no one messes with you and always makes sure you get home safely.

When you get drunk around Mikasa the Ackerman always just pats you on the head. Sometimes though she makes fun of you.

Whenever you flirt with Connie hes also drunk so he flirts back. The two of you are the most chaotic drunk duo though and always end up breaking shit.

Erwin tells you to stop. "Stop that y/n, it's weird." But he's always blushing when he says that and he acts like a parent. "No, no more tequila!"

Hange will literally just have fun with drunk you. She'd vibe and even give you her glasses.

Marco would think it's really funny, but he'd stick with you for as long as he needs to to make sure you're okay and then he'll take you home.

Levi will look so annoyed and so done but he'll blush and wrap his fingers with yours. Much like Jean, he'll try to take you home as soon as possible. He gets jealous way too easily for this and often he'll stay the night with you.

Bertolt's brain literally melts. Reiner has to drag him away from you. You've broken the poor man.

--------------------------------------------------

They walk in on you changing

Annie- She opened the door and come in without even paying attention, realized you were essentially naked when you squealed. She rolls her eyes, and mutters "look the door next time," but that's a mental image she'll be keeping for a while.

Armin- he doesn't even allow himself a second peak, immediately putting his hand over his eyes. "Oh! I'm so sorry y/n! I-i-yeah!" He practically runs out of there faster than lightening.

Bertolt- He freezes, and you have to push him out. His brain dies and he stands outside your door for several minutes still trying to process.

Connie- he doesn't even notice you, but when you yell at him he simply turns and farts at you.

Eren- "If you were changing why didn't you lock the door?"

Erwin- "I'm sorry I thought this was the bathroom. Did you get a new book shelf?"

Hanje- She comes in, sees that your changing and puts a hand over her eyes, continuing to tell you what she wanted.

Jean- he puts his hands on his hips and smiles, "you knew I was coming, didn't you?"

Levi- he doesn't really care and neither do you (nothing he hasn't seen before) but he doesn't make sure to shut the door and wrap you on the head. "you have a lock, brat, use it."

Marco- opens door. "Whoops." Closes door. "Sorry y/n!"

Mikasa- "hey y/n," just continues.

Sasha had half a donut in her mouth when she walked in on you and then immediately it fell from her mouth when she turned and saw your body. she blinked and quickly bent over, grabbing her donut and covered her eyes, but only partially.

Reiner- "Hey, y/n I- Woah! Nice ra-" you effectively cut him off by throwing a shoe at his face.

Historia- "Oh! Sorry sweetie, you're so pretty, oh my goodness!"

Ymir- after storming in she proclaims, "Historia saw you naked, I have to kill you now."

--------------------------------------------------

They find you crying

We all have those days, and this is when they find you having one.

Ymir found you in the your bedroom, completely bundled in blankets with the lights shut off. She notices that you've been crying because your sniffing loudly, but says nothing about it. "Hey, Y/n, do you have the wifi password?"

She'd leave, but tell Historia, knowing Historia is better suited to check on and deal with helping you. Historia will walk in and raise her hands, in an open hug. You'll wordlessly scootch over and allow her to slide in beside you and gently pull you into her grasp.

Sasha heard you crying and grabbed her comfort snacks, a blanket, and the puppy. All of which she carried into your bedroom. The two of you would sit, eat, and watch some comfort shows. "it's the best medicine!"

Reiner saw your car parked outside the apartments and thought he'd knock on your car window. When he got up to your window though, he noticed the tears that were streaking down your face. He'd immediately climb into the other side of the car, hopping into the passenger seat. You're shocked, having not even noticed him hanging outside your car to begin with. "Uh, Reiner?" "So," he buckles up. "Who did it?"

Mikasa could hear you crying when she was up late at night, (your door had been open a crack.) So she grabbed some ice cream and two spoons, and wordlessly walked into your room. She said nothing and didn't press you for information, and the two of you shared Sasha's favorite ice cream.

Marco witnessed you go full on break down mode after a ROUGH day and immediately gave you the greatest pep talk known to man. You were so amazed at his genuinely kind words you stopped crying, but Marco had become so touched that he had started.

You had actually went to Levi's apartment, and sat with him. He made you tea and listened silently as you told him about what had happened and how sad you felt. He didn't press any advice on you or dry your tears with grandiose words, but he genuinely listened and acknowledged your feelings. Then you cuddled, and it was more than enough.

Jean said something flirty to you and for one reason or another it set you off and tears were aflowing. At first he panicked because he thought he made you cry. When he realized it wasn't him, he gently brought you into him and held you as you cried into his shirt. Finally you looked up at him and he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously, "Would sex make you feel better?"

You called Hanje and told what happened after a particularly rough day, so she and moblit went and grabbed you some takeout and spent the day with you. They even took you to egg the offenders house. Revenge is sweet.

Erwin thought you were sick, so he left after finding you crying in your room, bought you soup, made it and just acted like you were sick. You didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

Eren saw you crying and then flicked you in the head and promptly left. You were stunned, but also found it funny and confusing, so you stopped crying.

Connie facetimed you and by the end you weren't crying because you were sad, but because Connie's really fucking stupid.

Bertolt noticed you were in your room for a while so he checked on you. He gave you a hug and then asked you very nicely to "stop crying."

Armin literally sat his ass down and stayed with you until the two of you fell asleep. He's a top tier friend who cares deeply about your emotional health so he does everything he can to sort you out. He holds your hand, nods, listens, gives you advice, and agrees with you.

Annie calls you a crybaby but she sits down beside you none the less. She doesn't press nor did she speak. But she wants you to know that's she's here in her own special Annie way.

--------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! Remember, requests are open!

[brvdges]

Like A River Flows - Stark!Reader x Peter Parker

Title: like a river flows

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Y/N hopes to meet her soulmate on her eighteenth birthday. Soulmate No Blip AU

Warnings: none

A/N: I've been gone so long but here's a new imagine! I got a new laptop! So hopefully there will be tons more of these. I listened to "Can't Help Falling In Love" by Kina Grannis if you wanna get the full experience.

Word Count: 1824

___

You could hear the sound of glasses clinking and laughter echoing up from the main room as you tugged at your dress at the top of the stairs. You turned around and looked in the ornate mirror behind you. 

Everything about you was perfectly polished and plucked; your lace was perfectly laid with every hair beautifully framing your face. Your ears were adorned with simple gold diamond studs and a matching name necklace sat daintily on your collarbone.

Your makeup was done to perfection with your brown eyes sparkling from behind layers of shadow, liner, mascara, and false lashes. For the first time in your life, you had gotten your makeup done professionally. Your father had paid for it of course -- it was at his insistence that you had gotten it done.

In fact, the entire party was at his insistence and he had taken it upon himself to have every detail perfect. You didn’t really want a big elaborate birthday party, but today was the big day. 

Everyone had a special day when you’d finally know the person you’re meant to be with. At a young age, you’d come to the conclusion somehow your meeting would be on your eighteenth birthday. When your father was enlightened with this fact, he had taken it upon himself to make everything perfect -- including you. Thanks to him, you looked undeniably stunning.  It was the most beautiful you had seen yourself in a long while. Ever since your mom had passed, you hadn't felt the need to dress up anymore -- so it no longer felt like you.

“You look absolutely radiant, Y/N.” Pepper assured you as she joined you in looking in the mirror. “Your father outdid himself. Just wait until he sees you.” You understood immediately what she meant, you were almost a spitting image of your mother. Your mahogany skin and high cheekbones were hers, as was your smile and arched eyebrows. The only evidence of your father was the occasional facial expression. “You ready?” she asked turning you back towards the steps. 

You nodded and smiled cautiously, “You’re gonna be okay. There’s so many people down there and they’re all excited to see you.” The two of you peered over the banister down all the sea of people below. Your father had indeed gone for a more sophisticated approach, but as with all Stark parties it was pretty much promised to liven up as the night went on. 

“All right! Chin up!” You did as you were told and began your way down the grand staircase. As you made your descent, you saw the attention shift to you as everyone took you in for the first time that night. “The birthday girl is here!” Natasha raised a glass to you. You smiled to her as you were welcomed with a myriad of birthday wishes.

As the party continued on, you felt almost like a princess. So many promising people had come up and introduced themselves to you; however nothing had clicked yet. You were starting to wonder if all the theatrics had been for nothing when your dad found you. You were standing against the wall watching your friends have a ball of a time dancing to the DJ that had recently taken place of the string quartet. 

“Y/N, shouldn’t you be dancing?” he asked, his dark brows furrowing in confusion. You sighed disappointedly, “Yeah, I guess.” You picked at a string on your dress, “I thought I’d meet them today.” Your dad nodded glancing over at Pepper. She was talking excitedly to Natasha -- likely about wedding plans. The way he looked at her was so beautiful. The way you could tell everything he felt for her from just a look was absolutely amazing. That was it -- that what you wanted. 

“Well, Y/N, you never know there’s still a few hours left to your birthday.” you frowned a bit, “I’ve talked to every person here that I’ve never met. I’m pretty sure it’s not happening today.” your dad chuckled, “You know Y/N, I know I’ve told you the story of how I met your mom.”

“Italy, 1999.” you mumbled looking up at your father. He nodded, “We met and it felt right. I’m not one to be very emotional, but I knew I wanted to keep her around. There was just something about her.” you tilted your head, “She wasn’t your soulmate though. Pepper is.” He sighed, “She was the one for me -- well until she passed, of course. By that time, I had known Pepper for years and I didn’t see her in that way until one day, I just did.” He looked over at her again, her and Natasha had been joined by Maria.

“I don’t know if you're understanding what I’m getting at. I don’t know if I’m explaining it clearly. What I’m saying is -- it could be someone you’ve already met and maybe you just haven’t realized it yet. No one ever said it had to be someone new -- just that there was a day that you would know.” He gave you a small smile, “You should enjoy your night because either way, you look amazing, kiddo. Happy birthday.” he playfully hit you on the shoulder before walking away.

Taking your dad’s words to heart, you decided to let it go for the night and just have fun. You made your way out onto the dancefloor, your friends cheering at your arrival.

...

It was finally the end of the night, cake had been eaten and presents had been surveyed as there were too many to open. Most of the guests were beginning to go home but some still lingered out on the cul-de-sac. You stood on the front porch, your heels in your right hand as you waved people goodbye with your left.

“I seemed to have missed most of the festivities.” A familiar voice made you turn around to see your father’s prodigy, Peter Parker, standing behind you. You were pretty good friends with Peter as he had been working with your father for little over three years now. Even still, he seemed to have his moments where he seemed to shut himself off from you and get quiet. He seemed to have his moments and his secrets and so you didn’t really hang out much outside him visiting the tower.

He also wasn’t a social butterfly so even though you had invited him to your party, you didn’t actually expect him to show. Even though it was the end of the night, your spirits still rose seeing him here. “Yeah, you did. My dad got so drunk he serenaded Pepper on the bar.” the two of you laughed. 

You looked out over the seemingly never-ending property, your father had held your party at the summer home. It aided in you feeling like a princess, there was a garden maze on the south side of the home and a long driveway lit by lanterns. You glanced over at Peter and stepped off of the porch, “Would you like to join me on a walk?” He smiled and followed. 

The two of you slowly made your way towards the garden maze on the other side of the property. “You look...” he trailed off while admiring you. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks and were glad he couldn’t actually see it, “Thank you.” The two of you turned into the garden maze as lightning bugs flew overhead and a cool breeze filled the air. As you walked, you tried to catch and release a few lightning bugs.

The sounds of late summer night hummed in the background as you spotted the small black rectangular box in his hand, “What’s that?” you asked. He looked down at it sheepishly, “It’s just something I got you. I don’t know if you’ll actually like it.” He had thought to buy you something? That was unexpected, but very welcomed. 

Without you saying anything, he slowly opened the small box to reveal another gold necklace. “It’s not 100 percent pure gold like the ones your dad gets you,” it was absolutely gorgeous. It was a small heart pendant attached to a gold chain. “It’s stupid really-” he scratched the back of his neck, looking down at it. “It’s beautiful, Peter.” You whispered in awe. 

“Would you mind? You can take the other one off.” You said turning around. He carefully removed it from the box. He put it over your head and placed the pendant on your collarbone before securing it in the back and you felt a warm sensation in your heart. Suddenly, everything changed. 

It was like your senses had sharpened. You could hear the distant conversation at the front of the property and the chirping of the crickets. You could feel the soft summer breeze across your body and Peter’s soft breath on the back of your neck where goosebumps had started to form. Every time his skin accidentally brushed yours, it felt delicate yet intense all at once. The world seemed to slow as he pulled your hair over the chain after removing the other necklace and turned you to face him. 

You studied his face and your eyes fell upon his brown ones. His hand found yours sending shivers through your body. You lightly squeezed his hand before pulling him closer feeling your knees start to get weak.

Resting your hand on the side of his face, you slowly guided him to the ground. You were close enough to lightly feel the air escaping his nose. He looked down at your lips and was about to lean in when- “Y/N! Come say goodbye to your grandmother!” your father called off from the distance somewhere. 

The two of you fell apart still sitting on the ground the closest you had ever been. You frowned slightly looking away, “I should say goodbye to my nonna. I usually give her a kiss and a hug goodbye.” You licked your lips looking down to avoid eye contact. “She flew in from Italy -- my mom’s side of the family. I don’t get to see her like that.” 

“No, no. I understand.” he mumbled as you both quickly stood. You began dusting off your dress as he helped. You looked up at him again quickly before looking back down again, “Thanks again. It’s beautiful.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes again because his gaze suddenly felt so intense, it felt like you’d melt. “You’re welcome.”

“Y/N!” your dad yelled off in the distance again. You gestured towards the balcony of the house where your dad was likely yelling from, “I have to go.” Peter nodded quickly, “I understand.” You admired him and watched as his eyes softly gazed over your features one last time. “Good night, Peter.” you waved quickly, “Good night, Y/N.” You gathered your dress and hurried off towards where your dad and nonna waited for you on the balcony.

That was it.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later. 

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak 

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics.  .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown. 

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else. 

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time. 

.

******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark. 

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak. 

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings 

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying. 

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to. 

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU. 

.

******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t 

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael. 

.

******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

[bangchanstudio]

Never Have I Ever | Changbin (3/?)

pairing: seo changbin x reader (fem)

genre: university au, awkward friends to ? something more? smut, house party

tw: sex, attempted date rape (spiked drink), mild panic attack, unprotected sex, penetration, cursing, praising, mild dom!changbin kink, oral sex (fem;receiving), fighting?

word count: 6.8k

ch.one | ch.two

synopsis: you’re forced to face Changbin after ghosting him for weeks, and things happen.

note: I suffered A LOT writing this so please SUFFER WITH ME. Shout out to sera aka @seraplantery​ for thirsting over changbin with me and his new fresh undercut as i wrote this 🥺 you the real one✨ again, i would love it if you let me know what you thought about this etc. i would love to interact more with those you read my fics!! 🥰 feel free to drop ideas or suggestions/requests in my inbox~ ps. if you would like to be added to the tag list for ✨NHIE✨ please let me know via inbox/message ❤️

taglist: @seraplantery​ @chang-binnie @synnocence @lordseochangbin​

“Spill it, sister.” The way Hyunjin crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently reminded you of your mother when you were in high school, waiting for a confession after sneaking out to a party the night before with the guys.

Suddenly, the ramen hanging out of your mouth that linked to your chopsticks seemed one hundred times more interesting than looking at Jinnie. He was good at seeing through your lies but mostly because you were such a bad liar.

When your only response was a shrug, he let out an exaggerated sigh. “You’ve been acting sus for days now.”

“How?” You asked, still avoiding his gaze, sipping on your straw.

“Well, for starters, you’ve stopped pestering us about what happened at the party.” He eyed you up and down. “Did you remember?”

“Just that we watched a hot ass morning sex video.” You said wiggling your eyebrows. “Really, there’s nothing going on.”

That was a lie.

The only thing that was running through your mind most of the time these days was Changbin. Since that night you went to see him you couldn’t stop thinking about his touch. His skin. His lips. The way he tasted. Changbin got your number from Chan, but you were avoiding him. He wasn’t one to chase or push either, so when you didn’t reply to his first message he didn’t send another.

Chan already interrogated you about the night he walked in on you blowing Changbin, and asked why you haven’t talked to him. You could only assume Changbin told Chan you were ghosting him, and Chan knowing you like the back of his hand decided to mediate. You were grateful, because he never judged you for being an asshole or ghosting people. You were always like this and you had been told by many people that you were “too much”, but not Chan. That’s what made you love him and run to him. Even when you didn’t run to him because you were too self-conscious and didn’t want to annoy him, he’d go to you. Talking with Chan helped you realize you didn’t know anything at all and that it would all be okay regardless.

“You know what your problem is, (Y/N)?” Chan started two weeks after you went to see Changbin at his apartment.

“No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” You were laying upside down on your couch, feet hanging over the backrest next to Chan who was sitting upright typing away on his laptop.

“You avoid thinking about your feelings. Instead of trying to face them head on and figure them out, you just run away.”

Ouch. The truth of his words stung.

“Just slap me next time will ya?” He rolled his eyes at your remark.

“I’m serious.” He closed his laptop placing it on the coffee table before giving you his full attention taking your hand in his as if you were a child. “Look, you know I love you. I care about you and I want to see you happy. That’s why we need to figure this out together. Tell me, when you look at Changbin, what do you feel?”

That was a tough question to answer. “Do I really have to think about that?” You whined.

“Yes.” He said sternly in his dad voice. “We’re going to figure this out together because if not you’re just going to continue this vicious cycle forever and I won’t stand by it.”

Sighing, you closed your eyes trying to find something, anything that you could put into words.

The image of seeing Changbin for the first in over a year at Seungmin’s house party at the start of summer came rushing back. You were sitting at the bar table in the wide living room of Seungmin’s mansion in a champagne slip dress and red lips talking your half tipsy ass off with your girl friend when she gasped at a hot guy who walked in. The place was overflowing with bodies, the heat made your skin slightly damp and the music was loud. There was a mixture of cigarette smoke and the smell of booze flowing in the air, basically it smelled like a good time.

“Who’s that hottie coming in with Felix?” She had asked shouting over the DJ and pointing at the door with her free hand, drink in the other.

Your heart had stopped and the smile you had plastered on your face slowly faded as you saw Changbin walk in, leather jacket, hood up, hat covering his features, but you knew it was him. He was scanning the crowed, high-fiving and bro hugging Seungmin and Minho as they found him. Minho had turned to find you amongst the crowd and nodded your way, Changbin found you but turned away. He never went up to you that night and you didn’t either.

“I feel sad.” You admitted, voice only slightly above a whisper.

“That’s good, (Y/N). That’s a good place to start.”

[three days later]

“Another party?”

Everyone was gathered around in your apartment eating your food and playing video games.

“Yeah, my parents are going overseas again so it’s the perfect time. I think we all could use a good old fashion house party.” Seungmin, respectable Virgo though he may be, was notorious for his house parties. He always had the best DJ’s, the best drinks and most importantly a big house.

“God knows we need to let loose, especially (Y/N).” Felix smirked over at you wiggling his eyebrows, blocking the pillow you threw at him.

“Besides, it’ll be funner this time since Changbin is back and we’ve been hanging out.” The room went quiet at Jeongin’s comment, just the video game sounding in the background “Oh… was I not suppose to say that?”

“Just focus on your game the grown ups are talking.” Hyunjin hushed the younger boy. “Everything is set to go we just need to go shopping.”

“We?” Everything sounded amazing except parties meant socializing, dressing up and being in public. You had a love hate relationship with parties, about as much as you had a love hate relationship with everything else in life.

[]

The weekend came faster than you could have hoped for and that mean the party did too. All you could think about was how you planned to avoid Changbin, though it shouldn’t be too hard in a house that big. You did it once before. The truth was, maybe you were scared to genuinely fall for him, just as he had said he was afraid of falling of falling for you. The only thing you knew how to do when you were unsure of anything was to run away.

Chan was right and you knew it. Your flight instinct was all you were good at but even you knew it would be your downfall eventually.

“Wear this. From your bestest friend in the whole wide world – Jinnie”

Hyunjin stopped by while you were in the shower and shouted a quick goodbye, reminding you to not be “late” to the party before rushing back out in less than a minute. You pulled your towel closer to your cold body before opening the top of the box and pulling out a really short, strappy, silk red slip dress.

“Does he want me to die of hypothermia?” you mumbled to yourself before doing your hair and make up. All the while constantly checking your phone to keep tabs on Chan’s eta. The best you could do was curl your hair and do some basic face makeup since you loved striking more with red lips rather than heavy eyes. Since the party had a rave vibe you opted for a way heavier highlight than normal and sprinkled a bit of body glitter along your collarbones and shoulders.

“(Y/N), I’m here !” Chan’s voice rang out as you heard him shuffling from the entrance to your room.

“Are you rea– damn girl, who are you?” He stopped dead in his tracks taking you in from head to toe.

“Fuck, this is too slutty right?” You turned from your long mirror to face Chan.The dress fit you well enough, but it was so short and low cut you thought your boobs would fall out at one wrong move, not that you had much to begin with, but this dress sure made it seem like you had a decent amount of cleavage. “Shit, I need to find something else to wear. I swear Hyunjin just wants to make me look like–”

“No! Don’t you dare, you look amazing, you are totally wearing that tonight. Just take a good coat so you don’t get sick.” Just like Chan to nag, you couldn’t help but laugh at his comment.

By the time you both made it to the party it was close to 10pm, definitely late. The taxi left you at the gate at the bottom of a small hill. Making your way up you were grateful you opted for a pair of black boots instead of heels. There were a lot of people making their way up to the house and people spilling out of the house as you got closer. The bass could be heard since you stepped out of the taxi and the closer you got the sounds of chatter, heavy laughter and shouting got louder. Crowds made you nervous but holding on to Chan’s arm made you feel better. After a few drinks you wouldn’t be as nervous or anxious. Alcohol had a way of numbing just about anything.

Stepping into the house the heat of bodies welcomed you, almost immediately encouraging you to take off your coat before handing it to Chan who in turn put it, along with his in the hallway closet. You were familiar enough with Seungmin’s house to be able to use certain areas of his place that would otherwise be deemed unappropriated for others.

“Welcome, welcome friends.” Seungmin said greeting you and Chan with a hug. Hyunjin and Felix followed close behind.

“Wow, (Y/N) that dress looks so much better than I imagined!” Hyunjin didn’t trust your sense of taste when it came to party or club attire so he had the habit of picking things up for you ever since you all started partying and clubbing together junior and senior year of high school.

Felix handed you a drink with a sympathetic look, maybe your nervous were louder on your face than you realized. You looked around the crowd trying to see if you could spot Changbin’s figure but by the looks of it he wasn’t here. Even though you were avoiding him, your heart still sank a little.

Get it together, you scolded yourself.

Before you knew it you found yourself on the dance floor passing between Hyunjin, Felix and a couple of strangers. Drinks and shots started to blur as your nervous melted and you started to feel slightly dizzy at the heat and bass filling your chest. The black lights made everything neon and colorful, there were even bubble machines that left residue of shimmer on everyone’s hair, face and body as they burst.

“Whoa– whoa!” Hyunjin shouted as you grinded your ass on a guy, making you laugh and push the stranger away before turning back to Hyunjin, throwing your arms around his neck and his hanging lazily on your hips. Felix had gone off somewhere, probably the bathroom. “Do you think Changbin will show up?”

You shrugged, not wanting to ruin the fun you were having. “Who knows.”

Eventually, you found yourself alone on the dance floor still as Hyunjin went to look for Felix, probably to do other things with him.

The vibrations of the song were filling you when you felt a pair of hands grab your waist letting you know someone was there, but you couldn’t see who since they were behind you. You let your body lean back into the stranger swaying to the song coming out of the loud speakers. He felt strong and warm though he reeked of weed which immediately turned you off, but you didn’t leave him enjoying his body instead.

“Let’s grab a drink.” The stranger said, grabbing your wrist and leading you off the dance floor, weaving you through the crowd. He wasn’t half bad looking, though, the thought came to you like second nature... but he wasn’t Changbin.

You leaned against the bar, letting the coolness of the marble run up the length of your arms, without thinking you placed your forehead down the bar top to cool off a bit. It felt good against your hot skin and the heat of the room.

“Here you go.” The stranger said handing you the drink with a cocky smile.

You thanked him raising the drink to your lips. He had a dark glint in his eyes that made you hesitate. “Fuck!” You shouted as someone grabbed the wrist you were holding your drink with, jerking it away.

“What the fuck did you put in this?” It was Changbin. You froze as he grabbed the glass out of your hand, still holding onto you. He shoved the glass in the guys face, “Drink it.”

“No way, I got that for her.” He said disgust in his voice, knocking the glass out of Changbin’s hand. It shattered on the floor, but you hardly heard a thing over the loud music that was playing. “What? Is she your bitch?”

“She’s not a bitch and what she is to me is none of your fucking business.” Changbin got between you and the guy, shoving his chest.

Fuck, this was not good. You desperately looked around for Chan or Jisung, anyone that could stop Changbin better than you could. You’d seen him in enough fights to know this wouldn’t end well. Of all the good qualities Changbin had, holding back was not one of them.

“What the fuck man, I was just trying to have a little fun.” The guy shoved Changbin back, though it didn’t have much effect since Changbin had a pretty solid build.

“’A little fun’ by what? By spiking a girls drink? You must be one desperate piece of shit if you can’t get a single girl to sleep with you of their own free will.” Changbin’s words made you go cold.

Did he spike your drink when you weren’t looking?

“No, it’s just funner when their helpless.” The guy retorted.

You could feel the rage boil up in Changbin and spill over seconds before he threw his fist connecting it with the guy’s jaw, sending him stumbling into a crowd. The guy couldn’t recover before Changbin grabbed him by the collar throwing him on the ground and shoving a knee into his chest hitting him again and again.

“You low life piece of shit, I hope you rot in hell.” He said between every punch.

Fuck, fuck, fuck where the hell was everyone when you needed them?! You desperately wanted Changbin to stop fighting. The fact that they had garnered a crowd of on lookers but no one was stepping in annoyed you.

“Changbin, stop!” You pleaded but when he didn’t respond you grabbed his arm just as he was bracing to throw it again, “Please, stop!”

Changbin tensed as he turned to face you, his eyes were scary.. on fire with rage. Your eyes must have been desperate because you could feel his anger slowly start to dissipate. For a moment it was as if everything went quiet and all you could hear was your breathing and heartbeat pounding in your ears.

The stranger seized the moment and opening to escape from under Changbin’s hold and book it into the crowd shoving a few people out of the way.

“Fuck.” Changbin mumbled watching the guy run off, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

He helped you to your feet before taking you by the hand and leading you around the bar and up the grand stairwell. His pace was a little faster than what you normally walked and with the alcohol running rampant in your veins you stumbled and struggled to keep up with him, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was gripping your hand so tight you knew even if you tripped enough to fall, he would catch you.

The hallway lead off to various rooms and people were piling around room entrances and playing various games from drinking games to board games. The bass still sounded throughout the house, but you could hear a little more clearly from up here.

“Get the fuck out,” Changbin pulled you into Seungmin’s room where two people were making out on his couch. “Now.” He ordered.

The couple glanced at each other but did as they were told, which was good on their part. Changbin was scary when he was mad. You were dreading whatever was about to happen because he pulled you away from the crowd probably to scold you for almost getting yourself drugged.

The couple left closing the door behind them leaving you in a dim lit room with Changbin angrily pacing back and forth.

“You are so reckless!” Changbin’s voice made you flinch. You know he didn’t mean to, but he still needed to learn how to control his anger. “Why would you take a drink from someone you don’t know?”

All you could do was wrap your arms around yourself and avoid Changbin’s eyes. You felt like you could melt under his gaze, or burn.

“There are bad guys out there, (Y/N), just waiting for you to let your guard down enough so they can take advantage of you.” He was saying it with good intentions but that still didn’t make you any less angry about it.

“So, what the hell am I suppose to do then? Just not go out? Not drink or have any fun?” Your argument was weak but you hated being pushed around. Especially by Seo Changbin.

“That’s not the point, (Y/N) and you know it.” He stopped pacing taking an abrupt step towards you, your back hit the wall. He took another step cornering you in.

From this close you could smell his cologne, warm and musky. His chest was rising higher than normal, his anger still evident in his eyes and the way he set his jaw. Damn he looks so hot... wait shut up this is not the right time, you tried shaking the thought away but Changbin hit the wall next to your head making you jump.

“Look at me.” His voice was strained.

“Make me.” You challenged, the words leaving your lips before you could filter them out as this is a really bad idea, don’t say that.

He grabbed your jaw fingers digging into your cheeks forcing you to meet his gaze. It annoyed you how much that turned you on, you squeezed your eyes shut trying to control your lust.

“Do you like it when I get rough with you, is that it?” Changbin squeezed a little tighter until you opened your eyes meeting his. Fuck, was all you could think.

“Maybe.” You replied raising an eyebrow. “Maybe I just want to see you go insane.” 

His dark laugh made you tremble.

“You know what drives me insane?” He sneered, “The fact that we had one decent, open conversation and then you ghost me like a fucking stranger you met off Tinder.”

To be fair, you knew it was coming. You shoved him off, crossing the room before slumping down on the couch, kicking your boots off and crossing one leg over the other so you wouldn’t flash him by accident.

He watched you from across the room as you noticeably gathered your thoughts before starting, “I.. I didn’t mean to do that.”

Changbin threw his head back in disbelief laughing before angrily asking if you were serious. You didn’t reply which seemed to only set him off even more. He crossed the large room in three strides before sitting down on the coffee table right in front of you leaning forward, elbows on his knees, face resting in his hands; but you didn’t flinch or shrink away this time.

“Then why did you do that to me?” His voice was lower now, his eyes were closed as if he was struggling just to say those words. As if he was trying to hid the hurt that was laced in that question.

“Because I wanted you to feel the same hurt that I felt when you abandoned me.” The words stumbled out of your mouth again before you could stop them.

You both froze.

It’s not something you consciously had thought out, but as soon as you said it you realized that was it. That was the real reason you were avoiding him, you wanted to get back at him. You wanted him to feel the same pain and loneliness you did when he left. Of what could have been but wasn’t.

“That’s fair.” Changbin concluded before straightening his back. “I don’t blame you.”

You sized him up trying to find any trace that he was lying, but he seemed a little more relaxed now. His shoulders were slack, his breathing was normal, eyes serious.

“Really?”

He nodded. “There is one thing though.” He said placing his hand on your knee before pushing it off your other leg. “I haven’t repaid you for that one time at the apartment.”

Your eyes widened as he pushed your legs apart. “Wh–what are you doing?”

He smirked at your sudden shyness. “I told you. Paying you back.”

“No, no it’s okay, I swear, just don’t mention it.” You clumsily shot up before stepping a safe distance away suddenly cursing yourself for being barefoot.

He laughed with his whole chest before standing up straight. “Come on, you were not this shy sucking me off.”

Your cheeks were burning, you were positive your face was the same color as your dress. Changbin made his way over to you, pushing your hair back behind your shoulder. The closeness of his body, the way his eyes made trails down your neck and collarbones made you tremble again, you tried crossing your arms to keep yourself still.

He noticed you shaking.

“Hey, (Y/N), it’s really okay if you don’t want to. I would never do anything you weren’t comfortable with.” His voice was soft, worried.

“It’s not that,” You trailed off averting your gaze. “It’s just I’ve never been... You know.”

“Never what?” He raised his eyebrow in that way that said, I don’t believe you,”I know you’re not a virgin.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, “Of course not, I mean the,” You flailed with your hand trying to get the point across without explicitly saying it, “I’ve never.. you know.”

Realization dawned on his features, “Oh... you’ve never been eaten out?”

“Fuck, yes, Changbin. That. God.” The fact that he said it out loud made you even more shy.

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered.” He said before pinching your cheek and biting his lip.

“This room’s taken.” Changbin called as a couple walked in barely keeping each other on their feet. He shoved them out before closing and locking the door behind them.

“Changbin!” You squeaked as he rushed back over to you, picking you up off the ground and carrying you to the bed before tossing you easily on it. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, one you hadn’t seen in a very long time.

“Who let you wear this dress?” He asked pulling at it teasingly; undressing you with his eyes.

“Jinnie bought it for me.” You replied. He took off his jacket, the sleeves of his black shirt were cut off revealing his biceps. “Been working out?” You asked not hiding your want anymore.

“Like what you see?” Changbin asked before pulling your legs towards him so your bum was at the end of the mattress.

You nodded, biting the tip of your finger as you gazed up at him. He ran his hands up your calves and thighs before tugging you a little closer to the edge.

“When did you get so buff?” You asked half teasing. He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, you know just looking out for my health.”

“Sure.” You rolled your eyes laughing.

There was silence as Changbin took you in again, staring down at you, his face unreadable as always. “Would it be okay if we forgot everything for a little while?”

His words made you catch your breath in your chest. Your fingertips grazed his hands on your thighs, slowly back and forth before nodding hesitantly, “That sounds fun” You breathed.

Changbin smiled before slipping his hands under your dress and slowly pulled down your lacy black panties. He got on his knees and spread your legs open, the motion made you squeeze your eyes shut squeaking in the process, covering your face with your hands.

“Ah, what? Don’t tell me you’re still shy.” Changbin laughed before placing small kisses on the inside of your thighs, switching between the two. There was a soft romantic song playing in the distance, so you tried to focus on it to calm your increasing heartbeat as Changbin kissed and sucked small spots on your sensitive skin.

His breath was warm as were his lips and his hands felt like they were burning on your thighs. It wasn’t long until you felt your body longing for more of him. He noticed the way your breathing started to come slightly quicker, the way your legs started to unconsciously shake with want and desire. He saw the way you bit your lip trying to keep yourself from making any sound, and the way you covered your eyes with your arm, hand clenched into a fist.

He smirked wanting to make you break.

“Oh, my god.” You breathed as you felt his tongue trace along your folds. You trembled at his warm touch. He liked the way you looked from this point of view and the way you tasted on his tongue.

His mouth found your clit and you let out a “Fuck,” as he drew circles with his tongue, the sensation sending waves of pleasure that you had never felt before. It was so much better than touching yourself. He went between licking you up and circling your clit occasionally sucking on it making you whimper.

“That feels so so good,” Your hands found their way into his hair pushing it out of his eyes, he looked sexy from here.

“I’m glad you like it,” He hummed still at your core, the vibrations of his voice against your clit making you shake.

You could feel the heat starting to rise, the way that familiar knot was forming in your core. 

But suddenly, you remembered the guy on the dance floor. The way he smelled of weed, the way he pushed his body against your back. The way he lead you off the dance floor and handed you the drink. The drink you almost drank, the one he drugged to... 

The sensation hit you like a truck after a few minutes and you could feel the pleasure start to change into something else, your breathing was coming out faster and heavier. The walls of the room started to close in and you felt like you might pass out. Your thighs were trembling and Changbin had to hold them open to keep you from trying to close them.

“Changbin I– I– fuck, I–,” you couldn’t form a coherent sentence and panic started to rise in your chest. There were black dots starting to dance across your vision, you felt claustrophobic, “Shit, it’s really heavy. Changbin, please,”

 “Please what?” He asked, noticing panic in your voice. But you couldn’t speak all you could do was clench his hair making him stop.

“I– I need to catch my breath.” Fuck why were you panicking now. You sat up clenching your chest trying to focus your breathing. Changbin was sitting back on his knees, he grabbed your face between his hands trying to get you to focus on him.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay just look at me. Focus on me.” His eyes and voice were calm but you felt a small part of you unraveling. Your chest hurt from how hard you were trying to breath, you tried closing your eyes but Changbin got your attention again, “No, (Y/N) look at me, keep focusing on me. I’m here. I’m real.”

Your eyes desperately searched his face trying to center yourself.

“The guy fro–from be–before, I– I’m having a p–anic attack,” You chocked out trying to at least tell him what was happening. It wasn’t the first time he saw you panic, but it had been a very long time.

“Okay, baby, don’t worry I’m right here. Just breathe. Can you tell me five things you can see? Come on, just five little things.” You could only see a small glint of desperation in his eyes.

“H–hair,” You chocked out looking at his dark hair, “Eyes,” His eyes that felt like home...

“That’s great, baby, really great. Three more. Just tell me three more little things you see.” Changbin encouraged, hands warm against your cheeks.

“Nose” that you loved to pinch when you would tease him in high school, “Cheeks,” they were flushed, “Lips,” they were soft and still wet from eating you out, your eyes stayed there.

“Great. Now four things you can touch.”

Your breathing was still heavy but you were a tiny bit calmer. You touched the bed for a few seconds, your dress, his hair and his hands on your face.

“Three things you can hear.” He continued calmly, voice like honey.

You concentrated, “rain, piano, your breathing.”

“Two things you can smell.”

“Beer and... your cologne.” Your eyes were closed but you were almost in complete control again.

“That’s amazing baby, now tell me one thing you can taste,”

“Dos XX.” You opened your eyes, he was smiling softly. “Damn it, Changbin I’m so sorry.”

You felt so guilty for freaking out like that. It was something that was out of your control but you still felt guilty and week for letting it overtake you like that. Especially now of all moments.

Changbin stayed on his knees looking up at you. You felt so embarrassed. Why did that have to happen now, you cursed yourself again. It had been months since your last panic attack but something about the way that guy tried to drug you made you lose your mind.

You pulled Changbin’s arm tugging him to join you on the bed. “Can you hug me for a bit, please?”

He chuckled before kicking off his shoes and climbing onto the bed. He pulled your body back with him as he sat up right against the headboard. His arms were wrapped tightly around your waist as you settled between his legs. He rested his chin on your shoulder half mumbling half singing the lyrics to I will follow you into the dark and swaying you gently. You closed your eyes relaxing against his chest, feeling the vibrations as he sang the sweet words into your ear. You felt at home in his arms, they were strong and safe. Like a fortress.

After a while of being like this you shifted in his embrace enough to where you could look up at him.

“What?” He asked half worried half smiling.

“Thank you for saving me. Or well, not saving me but you know... saving me. I didn’t realize the guy was a total scumbag. I should have been more careful.” You looked down fiddling with your fingers.

Changbin was quiet for a long time before responding. “If you let me be near you again, I promise I will always keep you safe.”

You met his gaze again. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, yes, I like you. A lot, actually. But I understand if you don’t want to be with me in that way or at least not right now, but it would be really great if we could try being friends again.. like before.”

Like before.

That’s all you had ever wanted. Was to go back to how things had been before, but you weren’t sure if that was even possible anymore. So much at had changed, everything was different. You were different.

“Can we go back to forgetting everything... Just for a little while longer?” You asked placing your hand on his neck, pulling his lips down to yours. You felt tired from the panic attack, but you need to feel something. Something that would replace the fear.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Changbin asked, he was hesitating against your lips.

You nodded pulling him into a kiss, your hands getting lost in his hair. Everything seemed to rush, the way your teeth teased his lips and his yours. The way you shifted yourself to lay down on your back pulling Changbin on top of you as you did. The way his hands slipped under your dress feeling your cold skin, and yours tugging his shirt desperately. You pulled the shirt over his head tossing it to the side before he went back to your lips shoving his tongue into your mouth. You could still taste yourself on his tongue and you blushed.

“I really want you to fuck me.”

Changbin chocked at your comment before laughing, “Damn, you can be really bold sometimes. I like it.”

He wasted no time unbuckling his belt buck, he looked so sexy doing it biting his lip, he knew what he could do to you. Changbin discarded the rest of his clothes and pulled your dress off surprised to see you weren’t wearing a bra.

“What?” You teased.

“Nothing, you’re just really hot.” His lips were hot on your chest, trailing down your stomach and back up again. His hands massaging your boobs before taking one in his mouth, he nibbling on your nipple the sensation making you whimper.

You pulled him by his hair back up to your lips, your legs wrapping around his bare waist pulling his naked body to yours.

“If you make me wait any longer I’m going to go crazy,” You whined pouting at Changbin making him laugh. “Oh, fuck,” he said shaking his head, “I don’t have a condom, I forgot my wallet at home...” At this point you were so turned on you just wanted to hit him, but you needed him so desperately. 

“It’s okay, I’m on the pill. Either way, I trust you.” You looked at him as you consented, before pulling his body closer to yours. The tip of his throbbing cock was teasing your entrance and you whined pushing your hips to get closer to him.

Changbin tsked, “You’re so impatient baby girl.”

“I need you, I don’t want to feel afraid anymore.” You didn’t care that the words sounded dumb or selfish, it was the truth.

“You don’t need to be afraid with me around.” He hummed into your neck brushing his head against your cheek, his hair was soft and smelled of mint. “I’ll keep you safe.” his words gave you chills.

“I know that, Changbin.” You didn’t, but you wanted to.

He slowly pushed his tip into your entrance making you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Look at me,” Changbin said grabbing your jaw in the way that was starting to feel familiar. “I want you to know that it’s me, that it’s me and no one else.”

You picked up on what he was hinting at, because there were things he noticed that you didn’t. Like what may or may not trigger another panic attack. He was right, so you kept your eyes open, watching as his face scrunched up as he pushed himself into your pussy stretching you out.

“Oh, fuck that’s tight.” He groaned, voice raspy and deep. “Fuck.”

He waited for you to adjust before continuing to move slowly in and out. You were still slick from before, so even though he filled you up it felt so good. The way he kissed your neck, and left love marks made you whine and tell him how much you had always wanted to do this.

“How many times have you thought about fucking me?” He asked, sitting back on his knees and pulling your waist higher to fuck you at a better angle. These types of positions always made you a little self conscious since he had a full frontal view, but you felt safe under his gaze.

“Too many to count.” You admitted laughing before moaning as he picked up the pace in time to the song that was playing downstairs. The friction felt like heaven and you felt the butterflies in your stomach start to turn into little knots. “Have you ever thought about fucking me?”

“Since the day I met you,” Changbin confessed between moans. “Fuck (Y/N) you feel so fucking good.”

“Changbin,” You moaned his name, eyes rolling back shut. You arched your back slightly as he pounded into you, the increased pace was making you feel hotter. “Fuck, if I would have known you were this good I would have asked you to fuck me sooner.”

He laughed at your vulgar comment, “Where? Like at the hide out?” He slammed into you again making you curse, your walls starting to clench around his cock.

“Yeah, that would have been really fun.” You found his hand and squeezed it. “Shit, I’m getting really close.” “Don’t worry baby you can cum whenever you want.” His words made you go crazy, and he praised you telling you how well you were doing. He pulled your legs up over his shoulder and bottoming you out with each and every thrust.

“Changbin, don’t stop.” You moaned as the sound of his skin slapping yours echoed louder and louder, Changbin’s breathing was hitching and you knew he was about to cum too. “Fuck,” The knots in your stomach turned into heatwaves as you released onto Changbin, he slammed into you harder and faster the friction making you see stars.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” Changbin moaned your name as he came in you, his hot white liquid filling you up and you loved the way it felt. “Shit.”

He fell on your chest letting your legs rest on either side of him, you both struggled to catch your breath but the sound was sweet in your ears. Changbin kept telling you how beautiful you looked in this mess and how amazing you felt. You ran your fingers through his wet hair, admiring his beautiful features as he rested on your chest.

“Hands down,” Changbin breathed, swallowing his spit to hydrate his dry throat, “My favorite.”

You waited for him to finish his thought but he didn’t.

“Your favorite what?” You probed, putting your arm on your forehead still coming down from your high.

“Oh, my favorite sex round.” He said still breathing heavy, laughing. The sound echoing in your chest.

“Yeah, it was pretty fucking amazing.” You agreed. Changbin pulled himself out of you slowly before settling next to you pulling you close. You rested your head on his chest hearing his heartbeat return to normal, the sound bringing you peace.

His hand traced the curve of your waist, and he did that for long time.

Eventually you both fell asleep and sometime through the night, decided to just keep sleeping getting comfortable under the covers and Changbin’s skin pressed against yours.

It was the first night in a long time where you felt like you actually rested well. The morning light woke you and for a few seconds you started to panic, until you saw Changbin’s sleeping face next to yours. Then you remembered the night before, and the amazing things you felt. You calmed your heart and snuggled back into his chest.

“Mm?” he mused lightly.

“Shh, sorry for waking you.” You whispered wrapping your arms around him tightly. He chuckled and fell back asleep in seconds.

That was until Seungmin walked through the door and started yelling every curse word in the book, “What the fuck do you guys think you’re doing in my bed. Wait, fuck, what the hell did you guys do in my bed? Don’t tell me you fucking had sex in my bed that is so fucking gross. Ew! I hate you guys, we’re not friends anymore, get the hell out of my house and wash the damn sheets before you leave I’m telling Chan on you guys..” Seungmin stormed out of the room continuing his rant.

You and Changbin exchanged looks before bursting out laughing.

“I really hope this doesn’t turn into an everyday thing when we have sex.” Changbin said whipping a tear from his eye from laughing so hard. First Chan and now Seungmin.

You prayed to the gods the same thing.

[spideysmjs]

Creator Tag Meme

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Thank you for tagging me, @friendofspidermannedleeds, you are such a treasure. 

“This year was nothing short of –– shit was crazy.” Spider-Man: Far From Home

Fanfiction really held it down for me this year. Whether it was creating or reading, I was so happy to be transported into another world full of the characters that I love. It was so hard to choose, but here we go in no particular order: 

1. From Peter, With Love - Five times Peter gives something to Michelle for Valentine’s Day. Childhood best friends to lovers is one of my favorite tropes, and weaving it into canon was a challenge that was so worth it. 

2. Can You Just Hold Me? - From what should have been a one shot came a 38k multi-chapter about the discussion of feelings, the essence of Peter and MJ, and smut that was absolutely fun to write. It took me six months, but it I loved it.

3. 99.8% - Black Mirror: Hang the DJ AU. This is probably one of the most unique fanfics I’ve written this year. I had the idea for a very long time, and Spideychelle Week’s Soulmate AU prompt gave me the opportunity to pursue it. I loved the challenge of writing this alternate universe. 

4. With a Little Help From My Friends - My Outside POV: Betty Brant fic. I have this strong head canon that in another world, Peter and Betty would be best friends (a la Rachel and Chandler). This is a story of Spideychelle from Betty’s point of view. And there’s a trivia night rivalry.

5. on his mouth like liquor - This was so fun to write. I’ve always been scared to write alternate universes where it’s truly another life like this Hollywood AU. Plus, it was my first collaborative fic with the lovely @spiderman-homecomeme. Ily, G!

What a year it’s been! 

Tagging: @michellesbohh @tvfanatic97-2 @amyabbotts @fanfictioningfangirl @eowima @blondsak @iovewords

[gucciwins]

Redemption

Harry is a fool and Y/N has a strong punch

Word count: 6586

A/N: Happy Halloween! (early/belated who knows when you’re reading) I love this month and I am very happy to share this with you. It was a true struggle to find time to write but here she is. AU’s are fun to explore so here is Frat! Harry. Please let me know what you think!

Hope you enjoy !

> > > > >

October 31st

Looking in the mirror, the only thing you can do is smile. The black lipstick looks foreign on your usual plain lips but you are proud in saying it looks nice on you. The dark eye shadow makes your eyes look a bit darker adding to the aura of the outfit you have. It all seems to fit together well. You here all the ruckus down stairs and know you don’t have much time left.  You grab your flowery credit card holder and slip it into the front of your pants because if the worst were to ever happen at least you would have identification on you.

You hear Nick and Carmen arguing over who was the best dressed. Nick was saying how it was him because he looked good with a red bandanna tied around his neck. Carmen response to him was that at least she was able to rock a safari hat. You didn’t want to hear any more arguing so you finally let your room.

“The pumpkin queen finally decided to grace us with her presence.” Nick yells with a big grin.

“It’s King still, doesn’t change just because I’m a woman.” You responded to him.

You looked down at your costume and were damn proud of it. The items were not at all easy to find but damn were you grateful you did. The white and black striped pants made your legs appear much longer and not to brag made your ass look real nice. Guess, the squat workout Nick makes you do does work. You got a white button up shirt tucked into your pants and it is covered by the matching blazer with two white buttons. It fits you perfect, well at least now it does after Carmen was kind enough to get her younger sister to do it for you. At no cost, but that didn’t seem fair to you so you gave her a thirty dollar gift card to Starbucks because that is what Annie seemed to live by. Your favorite piece that you were happy you were able to make was the beautiful bow tie. The famous bat bow ties fits perfectly and the long wings make it look even more elegant. A true Pumpkin King, Jack Skellington would be proud. Carmen even let you borrow her black ankle heeled boots and honestly you’re not sure your friend will see them again.

You give them a nice twirl making sure to strike a dramatic pose as you stop. It makes them laugh which makes you laugh as well. You look over at your two friends and honestly can’t decide who looks better and they both can see that.

“You’re really going to tell us, we both look equally hot.” Carmen whines not even caring what you want to say.

Nick interrupts before you even have a chance to answer. “Obviously, it’s me. I have always been the favorite.”

Your best friends have decided to dress up as Dr. Alan Grant, the most famous paleontologist to ever exist or so they like to say but only in the world of Jurassic Park. The blue wrangler long sleeve shirt is folded to their elbows, both wear loose fitting khakis. They both wear light brown timberland boots that they both somehow already owned. Aviator sunglasses hanging from their shirt adding a sexy element to the look. An old watch is found on Carmen’s left wrist but none is to be seen on Nick. Nick has the leather dress belt and that is what Carmen is missing. Red bandannas on as well as their safari’s hat and if you really had to choose it would be Nick because you like to think the belt complete the look.

“Where’s the belt?” You question.

Both look down immediately and Carmen is the one who lets out a small curse word you couldn’t quite make out. Carmen storms off into her room but is back in seconds now with a secured belt.

“The good thing is that this isn’t as contest so there is no winner but if there was it would be me for originality.” 

You pick up your keys from the cat shaped bowl by the door and finally walk out of the apartment. 

“You’re a bitch” Nick yells full of fake anger.

“You don’t even look good.” Carmen yells but you all know that’s a lie.

“I swear I’ll leave you both.” You threaten as the elevator door closes behind you. As you begin to descend you hear the grumbling as they rush down the stairs to meet you.

> > > > >

Sigma Pi 

The big name of the fraternity stared down at you as you make your way to the front door. This was one of the nicer known ones but just as everyone it holds its own reputation. The president is a friend of yours, Mitch Rowland. You had him for a psychology class and got paired to work together. He’s a quiet guy but well respected. He’s big on giving back to the university as well as the community. These guys have to do a minimum of twenty hours of community service a month which says a lot seeing as you’ve never seen any of the others do that. Mitch runs a tight ship but the same cannot be said about their vice president. 

Harry Styles, known player who takes girls on dates only to never call them back. He is the one to organize these big parties but also an Orientation leader. The first time you met Harry he was a sweetheart not one to fit into to frats, you would have gone on a date with him if only the second time you met him didn’t ruin that. 

It was the start of the year party and Nick dragged you along because he was thinking of pledging. You let yourself get wrapped up in that mess. At the party you spotted Harry and wanted to make your way over to him but stopped when you saw him with his tongue down a girls throat. You turned away and thought to approach him later except every time you saw him after he was kissing a new girl. As the night came to a close it was announced by their then president that Harry has passed his initiation by successfully kissing twenty different girls. Everyone cheered, but what surprised you was that each girl that kissed Harry was just as proud. Just you were leaving when Harry found you and asked you if you wanted to be lucky 21. Your response to this day cracked up your two friends. You told him, “Eat shit Harold, I don’t do sloppy seconds or in your case sloppy twenty.”

Carter was a terrible president and it did not surprise you when the fraternity got better with Mitch in charge in fact it is a big reason you started going to their parties more but it also reintroduced you to Harry. 

As you entered the house your eyes spotted one to many angles and devils. It’s really funny because each person you saw the costume just seemed to be getting shorter and shorter. Although as your eyes scanned the room you eyes caught sight of Sarah and Mitch who were dressed as Mia Wallace and Vincent Vega paying tribute to Sarah’s favorite film Pulp Fiction. Mitch caught your eye and you gave them a big smile and two thumbs up. He raised his red cup as a thank you. 

Carmen left your side as soon as you entered when she heard the shitty music that was being played. She always made playlists for them and got mad because they never asked her to DJ when they all know she saves their party each time. Within seconds the dance floor was full and all the grinding started which opened up a pathway to the kitchen. Nick left to go chat with a friend he saw sitting alone. 

You had to admit the decoration they had around the house was real nice. The stairs had bat stickers big and small looking as if they were going up. Then on the handrail orange lights were wrapped around. The couch had a white drape with red hand prints that made it look like blood which you thought was a smart idea. As you stood in the entryway of the kitchen leaf garland was hanging down and it looked very pretty. You wanted to take a picture with it behind you. Maybe later when you were with one of your friends who was able to take the picture. 

As you are serving yourself a drink some behind you calls out your name. You turn to the backdoor and there looking as handsome as ever is Harry. Gosh, that man always manages to look good without effort but you can tell today he did. 

“Where’s Sparky?” Harry questions you.

You sigh hopping he is just messing with you. “His name is Zero, thought a film snob would know that.”

“Now, now just because I’m a double major doesn’t mean I should be seen as only one of them.” He lectures you.

“Sure Harry, we would love to hear you brag about English and Film but save it for another time.” Adam says as he puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry finally looks away and you take that as your cue to leave.

“Hey wait, so where is Zero?” He pauses not wanting to make this weird. “You’re a perfectionist you wouldn’t go out with an incomplete outfit.”

“Don’t worry your pretty head, Zero is safe and very much present.”

Harry nods and begins looking around hoping to find the person.

“Don’t waste your time searching you’ll find him only if I want you to.” With that you send him a wink and leaving Harry desperate for more conversation with you.

Little while later you’re leaning against the wall arms crossed defensively in hopes no one will approach you to bad some people don’t know how to read body language. Harry slides up right next to you. Right shoulder resting on the wall so he is able to have all eyes on you. 

“Hi Pumpkin!” He shouts due to the music being a bit loud.

You shoot him a grin hoping it will get him to stop talking because truth is as much as you may act like you don’t like Harry it is the complete opposite you know it and so does Harry. You just never know how he feels, which is a big reason on why you never take his advances seriously. Although, he does go the extra mile to seek you out at events or even when running into you around campus. Who knows, today may be the day.

You hope it will be with Harry dressed looking like that is making you feel too many emotions. One’s that make you want to explore everything with him. You turn to face him but that is when one of Harry’s frat brother comes up to him to discuss something which allows you to check him out shamelessly.  He’s wearing a blue sheer sparking top only buttoned half way exposing his beautiful butterfly tattoo you want to ask him about. But what captures your attention are the two swallows resting on his collarbone with a cross necklace sitting perfectly in the center. It’s no lie that Harry has always been attractive but is seems that this summer Harry worked on getting bigger because he looks broad and it’s making you sweat. The matching suspenders are a nice touch to his look but the matching wide leg trousers make his butt look bigger and juicier than before. You really needed to ask Harry for his squat routine because obviously it was working better than Nick’s.

Harry has felt you checking him out for the past few minutes but didn’t want to embarrass you in case you left running from him all over again which is why he dragged his conversation with the freshman. He’s finally able to turn all his attention back to you and he smiles when he sees you eyeing his untamed hair. 

“I see you like my costume.” He smirks.

You decide not to answer and look away from Harry.

“Oh come on pumpkin, I’m Jack Dawson.” He laughs “Well the more modern version.”

You nod, “Well if you were going for modern slutty Jack I definitely see it.”

Harry is shocked at your response. You always leave him surprised.

You smirk. “Bye Harry.”

> > > > > 

It’s eleven and the party's still going hard. You’re sitting on a piece of haystack that has a yellow blanket on top to stop the hay from getting on the clothing thankfully the fire pit is helping you keep warm. You drop your head to hide the smile growing on your face when you feel someone take a seat to the left of you.

“Pumpkin, you got to stop running away from me.” He’s pouting and you just want to lean over and kiss him to make him give you that charming dimpled smile. 

“Where’s the fun if I make everything easy for you.” You look over at him the fire making his green eyes brighter and you lean in closer wanting a better look.

“Are you trying to kiss me?” Harry gasps. “I always thought I would make the first move.” 

You pull away and give him a good shove making him tip to the side and fall. He lets out a small yelp but one look your way and you both start laughing. 

Some time later it quiets down and it’s just you and Harry until a drunken couple makes their way outside. Harry stands and offers his hand to you. Without a second thought you take it and he’s leading you through the house and up the stairs. There’s four doors and his is the second on the left. He opens the door and lets you walk in first. His room is surprisingly clean but as expected he has a bookshelf filled with movies and books.

Harry stands back and lets you admire his room. He wants you to feel comfortable. You run a single fingers across all the movies and stop when one catches your eye. The Shawshank Redemption. 

“Some movies come out before their time and this one was one of them. I remember finding out on opening weekend in didn’t come close to reaching one million and I was shocked. Thankfully, people redeemed themselves and now tops all lists as one of the best movies around even to this day.” You were just rambling on a movie you loved and you weren’t sure if Harry was even listening. You look over at him only to see him staring at you with a wide smile. 

“Embarrassed to say I haven’t seen it. I got it on sale and just never got around to watching it.” He rubs the back of his neck to calm himself.

“Well if you ever get the chance to watch it let me know what you think about it. Would love to discuss it with a professional but just so you know I took my fair share of film and production courses during my summers in high school. I know enough to sound smart in conversations as well as understand.” You told him proudly.

“You continue to surprise me.” He chuckles. “Guess I’m not the only film snob.”

You crinkle your nose at name he called you. “Promise to never call you that ever again, sounds awful.”

You quiet down and sit on his bed. You look over at him and patted the spot next to you. He walks over slowly and sits close enough that your thighs are touching. He lays back and you follow after him. Little noise is heard from outside and you’re thankful for that because laying here in the dark the moon your only source of light is comforting.

“Harry.”

He hums in response. 

“I like you.” You let out a shaky breath after finally saying it out loud.

He turns on his side to face you and you do the same even though you’re nervous. 

“Pumpkin, you don’t know how happy that makes me.” He brings his hand to rest on your cheek and just holds you so gently as if you’d break if he touched any harder. “I like you too. So much.”

You’re nose to nose now, eyes flickering to each other’s lips each time.

“May I please kiss you?” He asks eyes meeting yours.

“Please.” You let out in a low voice.

He looks into your eyes one more time before closing the gap. It feels like magical. You have never felt someone kiss you with so much emotion. You tilt your head to deepen the kiss. Harry doesn’t even want to think about pulling away because now that he has a taste of you he never wants to stop.

You are the first to pull away to get air in your lungs. You lips brush each other softly as you try to think of something to say. But honestly you think your smile says it all.

“You are always worth the wait.” Harry says his breath tickling your lips having you let out a small laugh. 

“Can we do it again, H?” 

“‘Course we can. Don’t ever want to stop now.” He sighs into your mouth.

Each kiss keeps getting hotter and you do nothing to stop it. Harry pulls of your blazer as well as your pretty bow tie. He gives it a small kiss before throwing it to the side. He’s trailing kisses all over you neck but not leaving any bruises not knowing how you feel about it. He loves feeling your heart rate speed up, the breathy moans you let out encouraging him to keep going. You run your fingers through his tangled hair and tug on it because you miss the feel of his lips on yours.

“You sure about this?” He asks pulling away to look you in the eyes. 

“Yes. I give you my consent. Didn’t have a lick of alcohol.” You tell him proudly. “Can’t say the same about you. Will you remember this in the morning, Sparky?” Harry grins at the dumb nickname you used on him. 

“Only had one.” He grins at his next words. “Can’t be chasing you if I’m all boozed up.”

You melt at his words but don’t let him see it. You trail your hands up his open chest. Harry sees how hesitant you are to undress him so he begins to help you out. He takes off his suspenders rather quickly and unbutton the last few keeping the shirt together. You can’t help but lay back and admire Harry. He has so many tattoos but not one of them seems out of place it is as if each one has always lived on him. Harry isn’t one to shy away from what he wants. He brings his hands to rest on your waist. Squeezing hard enough to get your attention. Although you have a hard time focusing when his lips look so inviting. 

“Pumpkin, mind if I take off the button up it would only seem fair.” You smirk up at Harry as if thinking it over but give him a soft nod and that gets him going.

You wait with your arms to your side and face tilted up to catch Harry’s expression. Once the shirt and wide open Harry takes in a sharp breath. This is not what he was expecting. A beautiful swallow tattoo is what he sees. It lies over your heart. He wants to compliment its beauty on your skin but his body has a mind of it’s own and he gives is soft kiss. It was so gentle it sent shivers down your back. 

“Matching tattoos, doesn’t that scream soulmates to you” Harry jokes but looking in his eyes you see a bit of hope in there.

“Should have known you were a hopeless romantic.” You begin unbuttoning your pants when you stop realizing you have to take off your boots. “H, take my boots of please.” You give him a small smile feigning innocence.

Harry shakes his head at you but proceeds to do as you asked. Once he sets them at the edge of the bed he grabs a hold of your jeans and yanked them down. You’re shocked when you realized he took your panties with them. You’re laying there exposed to him bra removed and thrown across the room. Harry was about to crawl up to you but something caught his eye. Hi grabbed your right ankle and turned it a little he chuckled at what he saw. “Guess I finally found Zero.” Harry leans down and gives Zero a small kiss before claiming your lips once again.

Harry kisses you possessively, one hand sliding under your ass to pull your bodies close. You’re getting desperate you want his hands everywhere. You tangled your fingers in his hair and give it a sharp tug. Harry breaks the kiss letting out a deep moan. Harry’s lips drift down your neck leaving a trail until he reaches your breasts. He gives them quick kisses before making his way down to where you need him most. He pulled you legs over his shoulder his breath hitting the side of your thigh making you whine in need. Harry doesn’t need any encouragement because he dives right in. His tongue darting out to lick along your soft folds. You gasp and tighten the hold you have on his hair, your hips rising to meet his mouth. Harry moaned enjoying how sweet you taste. He sucks your clit into his mouth, slowly slipping a finger inside of you, pumping in and out enjoying the moans you keep letting out.

“Harry” You moan. “Please” You don’t want him to ever stop.

Harry had you begging for more as he kept tasting, sucking, and licking you, content with his place between your thighs until he brings you to your orgasm. His tongue sliding deep inside you alongside his fingers, his thumb pressed against your clit, moving it in slow circles. You felt yourself shattering to pieces, the orgasm leaving you seeing stars, your heart pounding but a smile present on your face. You’d never felt anything that good.

Harry places a gentle kiss on each of your thigh before locking eyes with you. “That was…” You stop to catch your breath. “Impressive.”

Harry chuckles cheeks going red. You’re not sure when he got rid of his pants but he sits there bare. He strokes himself several times before grabbing a condom by the side table, opening it, and sliding it on. He leans over you, his mouth on yours, his kisses getting needy for more. 

His cock was hard and you were eager to feel him. You pushed a hand between your bodies and took him in your hand, stroking him. He moaned as you raised your hips to meet his and he slowly eased into you, his hand sliding under your ass to keep a firm grip on you. 

You let out a sigh as Harry filled you, it felt right. You felt as if you weren’t meant to be anywhere else but in his arms. The two of you moved in perfect sync. Each knowing what touch the other needed. The moans and groans filled the room. It felt right. 

You wrapped an arm around Harry’s neck and brought him in for a kiss, you felt like it had been too long since you felt your lips on his. You wrapped your legs around the back of his thighs, pulling him into you, your hips rising to meet his as each of his thrusts became harder, deeper, longer. This orgasm was better than the first, you felt as if your heart might burst. Harry groaned as your walls clamped down on him. His thrusts becoming more erratic as he chased his own releases. He holds you tighter, his body tightening as he came with a low moan of your name. 

He keeps his arm wrapped around you, his face resting on your neck as he catches his breath. A smile on his face as he feels you shower him in kisses all around his face well as much as he lets you. You sigh and close your eyes as he kisses you neck leaving three consecutive pecks.

> > > > >

Harry came back with a wet cloth to help clean you clean up. He was gentle different to how this night started. You find yourself wanting to spend more time with him and you hoped he wanted the same. You’re getting settled in bed together you in your matching black lace bra and undies. Harry stays in the nude letting you know he sleeps like this most of the time. 

Harry decides the break the silence.

“It doesn’t take much to get you into bed.” He chuckles.

You are taken back. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

“What?” 

Harry hears the change in your tone. “Relax, I didn’t mean to be rude.”

You are quick to jump out of bed and throw on your pants, top and blazer in under a minute. All while Harry is staring at you dumbfounded. “No, but you did just want to get in my pants.” 

Harry doesn’t know what to do. He never meant to upset her. He isn’t even sure why he said that. He has never felt this way about a girl and he just ruined it. 

“I was dumb enough to think you actually liked me.” You finish putting on your boots and make your way towards his door not sparing him another glance. 

“I did.” He corrects himself. “I do. I do.” He’s getting desperate. 

“No need to feed me lies. I’ll make this easy for you and leave.” Your throat is closing up but you don’t want to cry over him. 

“Don’t leave!” He glances at the clock and pauses. “Give it a few minutes they’ll say something if you walk out now.” 

You start seeing red. “What!” You turn to him and he sees the anger and hurt in your eyes and he hates it because he caused this. “If I walk out that door will one of your stupid friends be there.” 

Harry doesn’t know what to respond they could be but no one saw them go up so you should be safe. At least he hopes. “No.” He knows half these guys suck but Mitch and him have told them they don’t take terrible behavior especially towards women. “They may be jerks but they aren’t disrespectful.” 

Your stare is cold as you take one final look at Harry. You’re out the door in the next second. Harry stands at the door when a yell snaps both your gazes to someone at the bottom of the stairs.

Jed, the jerk no one likes, including Harry shouts, “Looks like Harry got the girl.” Cheers erupt right after. You’re not exactly sure what Jed tells the friend next to him but by the way he’s eyeing you it’s not something you want repeated. 

You stand there shocked not knowing if you want to cry or punch someone. You turn to look at Harry to see if he’ll do anything but what he does next breaks your heart. He shuts the door in your face. You scoff wanting to go in and punch him but ultimately decide he isn’t the one who deserves it right now. 

You walk down the stairs head held high and at this point no one is staring at you anymore. Jed has his back turned to you so you tap his shoulder he turns and looks at you with a smug smile. Not for long you tell yourself. Right fist is shut tight but not enough to cut off the circulation. You bring it up quickly and swing. All that can be heard is high pitch scream, music and conversations fall dead. 

Jed falls to the ground and looks up at you in a daze not believing what just happened. You have nothing to add and walk out the front door. You slam the door closed just as Harry slams his door open. You’re in your car in seconds shaking from the adrenaline, you take a few deep breaths and check your phone to see your friends have already left. You’re thankful but not at all excited to explain this story tomorrow.

> > > > >

November 2nd

You had the morning shift at the bookstore and you are thankful to finally be leaving. It’s awful having a shift where no one walks in, especially when you’re working alone having no one to talk to. During the shift your friends came in for a quick chat just to make sure you were really fine. Nick brought you a muffin and a coffee while Carmen went on a rant letting you know she’d beat up anyone who spoke a word about you. None of you mentioned Harry. You could tell they wanted to but you were sure you’d cry if you said his name. As annoying as he could be he was sweetheart around you. Too bad it’s over.

Amy walked in at twelve for the shift change. You clocked out and grabbed your bag from the small lockers in the back room. Amy was quick to grab a book and was sitting in the red chair next to the register. 

“Jed totally had that coming. Glad you and Harry gave him a lesson.” Amy starts talking as you  almost made it to the door. You turn around hoping she’ll continue and she does. “ Harry came down in shoes and sweats ready to attack but stopped when he saw Jed holding his jaw his lip bleeding. You could tell he was upset someone beat him to the punch.”

You’re shocked no one had told you that Harry actually made it out of his room. “What happened next.” You’re shocked at how much you care.

Amy shot you a smile. “Jed was about to start bitching when Harry punched him then kneed him in the balls but didn’t do more as Mitch finally showed up. He kicked Jed out and the other boys threw his clothes out the window. It was epic.” You laughed as she finished the story. “Have you talked to Harry.?”

You sign and shake your head no. “I don’t know how to go about this. I’ve never felt this strongly about a guy and then have it all ruined.”

Amy shoots you a comforting smile. “If there’s anything my girl has taught me is that hearing them out is important and how you feel after that is how you should go about it. You alone with your head may ruin a beautiful connection that not many are lucky to have.”

You lean down and give her a tight hug. “I might not say this enough but I love you. I’ll reach out to him and let you know how it goes.”

As you’re walking out the door you can’t help the smile on your face. Maybe, just maybe Harry was different.

> > > > >

Walking into the apartment you know something is wrong. You can feel it and that worries you because you’re supposed to be alone for the day. Carmen is out with her family celebrating her sister’s birthday. You pick up the baseball bat that lays behind the front door that Nick gifted you as a housewarming present (honestly you know he got it from goodwill). As you approach the hallway you hold the baseball hat in one hand and call Carmen hoping she will answer you. She answers after two rings and you don’t let her get a word in.

“I think someone broke in.” You whisper steps light. “I am ready to swing, looks like they are in my room.” 

Your door is shut but you hear the sound of your desk chair creaking.You’re about to open the door forgetting you’re still on the phone. A scream is what stops you from opening the door. “DROP THE BASEBALL BAT PLEASE!!!!” Carmen sounds exhausted. “IT'S HARRY.”

You pause and open the door quickly startling Harry making him stand from the chair he was sitting in. A plush Zero resting in his large hands making the stuffed present look smaller than it actually is. Harry is standing shocked green eyes on the baseball bat which you drop just as quickly. It lands with a thud. You bring your phone to your ear and continue looking at Harry. 

“Can I punch him?” You ask Carmen in a sweet voice trying your best not to laugh because you want to get a reaction out of Harry.

“No.” She pauses. “I would have said yes if he hadn’t explained so do us a favor and hear him out. We wouldn’t have let him in if we knew he was going to cause more trouble. Love you.” Carmen doesn’t give you a chance to answer back and hangs up. 

You throw your phone to your bed and that is when you take a look around your room. It’s different, it’s decorated for Halloween even though you remember you didn’t do that this year which means Harry did it for you. 

Orange pumpkin lights hang above your head giving it a nice glow. Scattered around on your once empty wall are bats of all sizes. Your window has hanging leaves falling and it looks beautiful. Your old bean bag is covered in a pumpkin blanket with all kinds of candies spread over it. You spot Oreos in the mix and that is what brings the first smile to your face. Finally, you look over at Harry who looks nervous, it looks like he’s sweating. 

Shit.

Guess he really is suffering a bit. You’re about to finally say something but your attention is on his chest specifically his pecs that have a ghost with bee’s bottoms on them. It says boo bees. This causes you to start laughing and you take a seat on your bed. Once you calm down you look over at Harry and give him a small smile which he happily returns. 

“You went to the Target sale for me?”

Harry is surprised that’s your first question but answers it nonetheless. “Figured I deserved a bit of chaos in my life.” 

You nod and look at your TV that is set up to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas realizing Harry wants to hang out with you and this is his way of apologizing or well half apologizing.

“This was very kind of you.” You grab the box of Oreos and grab one splitting it in half. “You can see yourself out. Seeing as you found your way in.”

Harry is not surprised your kicking him out but you didn’t even bother to hear his apology. Heck, you didn’t even ask about it. Harry doesn’t fight you on it and walks out quickly not wanting you to see his tears. 

Your room door shuts and you feel bad. Harry was sweet but he did hurt you. Letting him suffer is the right choice, right? As you’re finishing your first oreo, your phone rings.

“Did you kick him out?” 

“Yup” You reply. 

“It’s not nice letting him suffer.” She sighs, you know she’s fed up with you. 

“I suffered.” You remind her. 

“He’s going to cry. He is probably crying.” 

“I’m on my way. I’ll fix it, let him break my heart again.” You’re giggling as you say this.

“Dramatic bitch.” She yells and hangs up.

You hurry out your door just as you hear the front door closing and move even quicker. He’s waiting for the elevator that takes too long to come up. 

“Hey sparky,” His head snaps quickly to look at you. “You’re really going to leave me to eat all this candy on my own.” You shake your head at him but you’re smiling and now so is he. He takes small steps towards you. “Who will take care of me when I crash from all the sugar?”

“You want me to stay?” Harry questions wanting to make sure he is understanding what you’re saying.

“I do believe you owe my some cuddles.” 

He’s standing in front of you now. “Can I kiss you?”

You’re shocked at the question but shake your head no. “If we make it through a movie and I decide I like your cuddling then you can give me as many kisses and i-” he cuts you off.

“Get ready for the world’s best cuddles.” Harry leads the way back to your room. 

You’re getting settled in your bed with Harry to your right. You decide since you’re doing cuddles might as well go all in which is why your head is laying on his firm pecs. You’re thankful for the short sleeve shirt because you get to admire his tattoos a bit more. 

“Why aren’t you letting me apologize?” Harry questions his hand rubs up and down your back softly. 

“I already know what happened after I left and that’s enough for me.” You sit up to look at him. You bring your left hand to cup his cheek and he leans into you. “This is a fresh start. No, annoying Harry and no sassy reply from me.” You lean in and give his forehead a soft kiss.

You settle back down and let out a small giggle when Harry gives you a sweet forehead kiss.

“Now Sparky, press play.”

Surprisingly, you and Harry spend the whole time watching the movie. Sharing your snacks equally. More like you moving the oreos every time Harry’s hand made its way to the box. Harry singing along with Jack that made you laugh so loud that Harry couldn’t help but join you. He was making this whole waiting to kiss so much harder. You’ve watched this movie many times so you know the end is near and so does Harry as he seems to tighten his hold on your waist. It feels nice, like he was always meant to be holding you. 

The finale is starting and that is when you have enough and sit up but you move so quickly that the next thing you know you’re on Harry’s lap and connecting your lips to his. 

Harry hums in appreciation. His left hand on your cheek and right hand on your waist. This is perfect. 

You pull away and laugh when Harry chases your lips. He slowly opens his eyes looking up at you. Your lips wet and plump all by his doing. You’re beautiful and he’s lucky enough to be here with you in his arms.

“There’s not much left in the movie, let’s finish it.” You make to turn around but Harry tightens his hold on you. 

“No” Harry pouts. “Lets kiss some more”

“Harry,” You start but he interrupts you.

“Pumpkin, this more fun.”

“Eh” you fake looking at your nails. 

“That’s it.” 

Harry flips you over so your laying on your back and he’s straddling you. He begins kissing you everywhere. Your cheeks, nose, neck, nowhere is left untouched. 

The room is filled with love and laughter. Each kiss getting deeper and deeper. After each kiss falling deeper in love with one another.

For it is plain as anyone can see, we’re simply meant to be.

> > > > > 

FEEDBACK IS WELCOMED AND APPRECIATED

[ill-go-with-that-then]

ERASERMIC MODEL AU I SORT OF WROTE

On the erasermic server I'm a part of, we have a thing called Story Time, where people can tell a story to whoever’s around, mostly in real time. This is one I did for @sraye96, who was having a bad day and wanted a model au. 

Shouta hates models. 

Unfortunately, as one of the principle photographers for the country’s fastest-growing fashion magazine, Plus Ultra, dealing with models is one of life’s regular little annoyances, like the subway being too crowded, or his favorite coffee shop running out of cinnamon rolls before he arrives. His agent, Nemuri Kayama, has assured him that this is temporary, a necessary stepping-stone for his career before he can move on to more interesting work, for news and travel magazines. Something real.

But in the meantime, models. They’re not all bad, Shouta supposes. Some are there to do a job, same as him, in and out of his studio with a minimum of fuss. But those are few and far between. For the most part, the models are whiny, demanding, critical, and rude. And the more famous they are, the worse it gets. 

So when Kayama calls him, ecstatic because Hizashi Yamada is on his way to the studio, Shouta genuinely grimaces. Yamada is a rising star, having him on the cover of their magazine will benefit everyone involved, especially Shouta. But he can’t work up any enthusiasm for what’s surely going to be a long, difficult day. 

“What are his demands,” he sighs into the phone. 

“Demands?” Kayama echoes, like she has no idea what he could be talking about. Shouta pinches the bridge of his nose, willing himself not to snap at her. 

“You know what I mean. What brand of water do I have to keep perfectly chilled? What zero-calorie snacks should I buy? Am I allowed to talk to him directly? Do I have to look at him through a mirror?”

He can practically hear Kayama roll her eyes. “As a matter of fact, he didn’t say anything about any of that. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll be easy to work with? And even if he isn’t, this will be such a boost to our careers that I’ll drive him over some fancy bottled water myself, okay?”

Shouta slumps forward. Kayama isn’t usually the type to embrace a fool’s hope, but he knows that when something seems too good to be true, that’s because it is. And if Yamada hasn’t been unreasonable yet, that just means whatever’s to come is going to be all the more unpleasant for it. 

Shouta sets up the studio himself. He could probably have an assistant, if he pushed, but he doesn’t have time to train anyone and after dealing with models all day, his tolerance for bullshit is at a personal low. He’s setting up a light and cursing all of his life-choices, when he hears a soft voice from behind him. “Hey.”

It shouldn’t startle him as much as it does. But he hadn’t heard anyone enter the studio, let alone the irritating entourage that usually accompanies a popular model, so finding himself suddenly not alone shocks him enough that he wobbles on the ladder. His panicked attempt to self-correct just makes things worse, and time slows as he plummets backwards. He only hopes he’ll kill whoever caused this, as well as himself.

But he never hits the ground. A strong pair of arms grabs him beneath the shoulders, holding him steady in the air, his feet still balanced precariously on the ladder’s step. “Whoa! That was a close one!” A voice says, near his ear. Shouta’s heart is pounding too hard for him to reply, so he just blinks helplessly as he feels himself lifted upwards, back into a position that lets him grab hold of the ladder and pull himself the rest of the way standing. 

“Sorry about that!” says the voice, as Shouta quickly climbs back to the safety of the ground. He turns around, not sure whether he’s about to thank whoever it is for saving him, or scream at them for startling him in the first place. 

He ends up doing neither. “Who the hell are you?” he snaps, not sure why this person is in his studio fifteen minutes before anyone is scheduled to arrive. Shouta’s never had a model show up less than thirty minutes late, and someone as famous as Yamada probably won’t be here for hours. So whoever this guy is, he has some explaining to do. 

The guy blinks at him, surprised. “Uh… Hizashi Yamada?”

Shouta looks the guy up and down. His clothes are nice, well put-together, but casual. His hair is tied up in a messy bun, and his glasses are thick and nerdy. He looks more like an IT guy than the type that usually hangs around models, but Shouta supposes he can’t judge. “What, did he send you or something?” 

The guy smiles nervously. He looks awkward. It’s cute. Shouta would think about asking him for coffee, if he weren’t some sort of model groupie. “Uh, no? I mean, I guess? He’s me?”

Shouta stares. The guy smiles a little wider, still looking nervous, and suddenly it’s obvious. Of course this is Hizashi Yamada - the trademark green eyes that Shouta would have bet his camera were photoshopped are blinking at him owlishly from behind the ugly glasses. 

Oh well. It had been a good dream. Shouta hopes that when all this is over he’ll be able to get a job as a department store baby photographer, but he isn’t counting on it. 

“Am I too early?” Yamada says, breaking the silence. 

“Yes.” Shouta speaks by reflex, and it’s all he can do to stop himself from slapping a hand over his mouth. Why, why does he always make things worse. “I mean, I’m still setting up. Don’t you need to do… makeup, or whatever?”

Yamada relaxes slightly. “Yeah, I brought some stuff with me. It’s supposed to be a natural look, right? I can do that myself.”

Shouta raises an eyebrow, too surprised to say anything. If this guy ruins the shoot because he thinks he’s a makeup artist, it’s Shouta who’s going to get the blame. But it’s not like he can argue - he’s in deep enough already. “Whatever. I’ll be ready to go in ten minutes.”

Yamada shoots him a thumbs up, hitching the black duffle bag over his shoulder a bit higher and heading towards the dressing area at the back of the studio. Shouta finishes setting up the lights while he’s gone, then eyes the set critically. He’d staged it with a particular look in mind, flashy and modern, not really suitable for the man who’d shown up. Still, with Yamada already here it’s too late to change much. There’s just enough time to switch the backdrop to a warmer color and swap out a few props to make things a little softer. That’s barely done before he hears Yamada walk up behind him. “Good to go? I brought a book if you need more time.”

Shouta searches Yamada’s open expression for any signs of a taunt, and finds none. “We’re good. Make yourself comfortable.”

Yamada does as he’s told, dropping himself down on the set and looking utterly relaxed. “How do you want me?” There’s no hint of flirtation in his tone, but Shouta nearly blushes anyway. 

“These photos are for an interview, right? About you?” Yamada nods. “Okay, then stay casual.” Yamada nods again, leaning back against one of the props and looking thoughtfully at the camera. This is the tricky part. Shouta knows the kind of shots he wants, he just has to figure out how to get them. “Tell me about yourself.”

Yamada smiles a little. The shutter clicks. “That’s a very broad question.” 

“Something dumb,” Shouta clarifies. “Ugliest thing you used to wear in high school.” 

“Okay, wow!” Yamada throws his head back in a laugh. The shutter clicks again. “You’re coming right for me, huh? How do you know I can answer that?”

Shouta hums. “Everyone hates how they dressed in high school. Give it up.”

“You got me,” Yamada grins. “I had a crop top that said Work It in pink sparkles, and I wore it everywhere. Now you answer.”

“My school had uniforms,” Shouta says blandly, snapping a photo of Yamada’s annoyed face. “But outside of school I only wore black.”

Yamada’s face lights up, delighted. “That’s amazing. Did you have an eyeliner phase?”

“I don’t know you well enough to answer that,” Shouta says, taking a few more pictures. 

“Something to look forward to,” Yamada says brightly, and Shouta grins. His shoots are rarely this productive. Usually by now the model would have demanded a cigarette break, or a fizzy water, or some member of their entourage would have broken something. But Yamada is professional, moving here and there whenever Shouta asks him to without a word of complaint, answering all of Shouta’s questions in a way that makes it seem like a conversation, rather than like Shouta is some kind of photograph-producing robot. 

He can see why Yamada’s star is rising so fast. He’s a pleasure to work with, on top of having a face the camera loves. 

After a while, Shouta calls for a break. He flips through what he’s got so far as Yamada walks over, out from under the heat of the lights. 

“Are the photos not good?” Yamada asks, taking in the way Shouta is frowning at his camera. 

“They’re good,” Shouta admits. “But they’re missing something.” Yamada just looks at him, like he’s waiting for Shouta to say more. “This shoot is supposed to show the real you,” Shouta says, not used to someone actually listening to his explanations. “It should be personal. The shots are good, but they’re not deep. It would be better if we could show people who you really are.”

Yamada pauses, considering. “Can I go get something from my car?”

“Sure,” Shouta nods, hoping desperately it’s not going to be drugs. But when Yamada comes back, he’s carrying a guitar case. 

“I love music,” he admits as he opens the case and takes out an acoustic guitar. It’s old and cheap, clearly well-used, and Yamada starts tuning it as he continues. “I never intended to be a model. I wanted to be a musician, or a DJ, something like that.” 

Shouta can’t resist quietly taking a few pictures, not wanting to interrupt. Yamada looks so different like this, softer, happier. More like himself. The crumbling brick wall of the studio is a better backdrop for this than Shouta’s flashy set. “There’s still time,” Shouta says, hoping the lighting by the window is good enough that he can capture the wryness of Yamada’s smile. 

“Sure,” Yamada shrugs, fingers brushing over the guitar strings. “Should I get back on the set?”

Shouta shakes his head, not wanting to ruin the moment. “Play something. Whatever you like best.”

Yamada smiles, leaning back against the wall and strumming a chord. Then he starts playing in earnest, fingers flying over the strings, some complicated piece of music filling the air. He’s good, far better than Shouta expected, and for a moment he’s so distracted by the music that he forgets what he’s there to do. But only for a moment. As good as the music sounds, Shouta is a visual person, and the peaceful, pleased expression on Yamada’s face is the stuff photographer dreams are made of. Shouta does his best to capture it, swapping out filters as subtly as he can, not wanting to be a distraction. 

Eventually, the song ends, and Yamada looks up, surprised. Like he’d forgotten where he was, who he was playing for. Shouta captures that, too. “Was that okay?” Yamada asks, tentative for the first time since he’d arrived. 

“Let’s see,” Shouta says, walking over to his laptop. He plugs the camera in, downloading the photos quickly. He can hear Yamada walk up behind him, and though his personal policy is to never let the models see any photos before he’s retouched them, Shouta will make an exception this time. 

Yamada breathes out, like a sigh of relief. “These are really good.”

He’s right. As rough as they are, Shouta can already tell they’ll be excellent, probably the best photos of his career so far. The light from the window is perfect, illuminating Yamada from the side, making him look ethereal, but the rough bricks behind him keep him approachable. The only way to describe his expression is content, and there’s absolutely nothing fake about it. It’s real. 

“Yeah,” Shouta nods. “I think we got it.” Surprisingly, he feels a flutter of disappointment. For once, he wishes the shoot had dragged on a bit longer. He probably won’t get the chance to work with Yamada again. 

“You’re really talented,” Yamada says, still looking at the screen. “I usually can’t stand pictures of myself, but these are… I like these.” He looks up at Shouta, smiling. “Can I steal you? Make you my personal photographer? I’m told everyone has a price.”

Shouta hesitates. It wasn’t a flirtation, necessarily. And getting involved with models is a bad idea, the worst thing you can do in this business, but-

But if he lets Yamada walk out that door, he’s going to regret it forever. “I like coffee.”

Yamada’s smile widens, blooms over his features, pretty enough that Shouta wishes he was still holding his camera. “Don’t sell yourself short, hold out for dinner at least.” 

“Dinner then.” Shouta can’t stop the corners of his lips from quirking up, ruining the his casual tone. “With further negotiations to follow.”

“I like the sound of that,” Yamada grins. 

[casseythebee]

Mirror Mine (Peter Parker x reader AU)

Title: Mirror Mine

Prompt: Soulmate AU where when your soulmate writes something on their skin it shows up on yours and vice versa 

Summary: You go with your dad to one of Tony Stark’s party and there you meet him 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Words: 1.8k-ish

Warning: slight swearing (blame Bucky “What the hell” Barnes, and fluff 

A/N: I know reader inserts usually have your age but in the story, the reader is on the younger side just so it makes sense with the story, sorry. Most of the ships aren’t cannon but just roll with it. 

“Absolutely not.” 

Your father looked instantly pissed when you walked into the room. You were heading to one of the biggest nights of your father’s career. It was one of  Tony Stark’s big parties and your father had been invited to spark up some business deal or whatever, you honestly had no clue. He was supposed to bring your mother as a plus one, but your little brother had fallen ill with a slight cold, and she wanted to stay with him. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask throwing your hands in the air and rolling your eyes.

He gestures to your clothes and says in a disgusted tone of voice, “There is no way you are wearing that. This is a big night for me and I need you to look amazing and act amazingly.” 

A tight red plaid mini skirt fit snugly on your hips, under the skirt black tights hugged your toned legs, and a black crop top accentuated your curves. You had smacked blood-red lipstick, a messy braid fell down your shoulders along with a golden chain necklace. And to tie the whole outfit together,  a nice black leather jacket. 

“I knew this would happen so I went out last night and picked out a dress, let's go try it on,” your mom chimes in. 

“Okay but please be quick, ladies,” your dad says. 

“The dress is gorgeous and I can redo your makeup to match, oh you are going to look so pretty!” your mom exclaims leading you into her room. 

“Names,” a cold voice demands to your father. 

“(Y/D/F/N) and my plus one is my daughter (Y/F/N),” your father reassures him handing him the invitation he got at work. It’s a small, ivory piece of paper with swirly, gold letters printed on it. 

“Isn’t she a little young?” the buff bouncer asks tipping down his glasses and looking you up and down. 

“That my kind sir is none of your damn business.” 

With your arm linked through your fathers, you guys walk into the Avengers compound and head through the all-white front foyer- your father's shoes making clacking noises while your ballet shoes are utterly silent- and head to the glass elevator. Your father presses a higher number, number 10, as the elevator travels upwards you catch quick glances of the other rooms, they all look like living spaces, and one sterile-looking hallway with many doors branching off. 

When the elevator finally stops you guys step out of the elevator and look out into the room. It is filled with people, some you recognize some you don’t, the girls all wearing elegant dresses, and the men suits and tuxedos. There is a massive bar on one wall, some couches scattered around everywhere, a wall made entirely of windows, a DJ booth on another wall, speakers placed at random everywhere, and a dance floor in the middle. 

“Okay so the objective is to mingle around with as many people as possible, okay?” your dad explains. 

You give him a light shake of your head and he drops your arm and struts over to a group of people, completely at ease. Not sure what to do you follow him towards the group. 

When he gets to the group they all exclaim his name and welcome him in like they’ve known him for years. 

“I said go mingle, and be polite, and just make a good example.” He shoves you off lightly. 

Not sure what he means by make a good impression you head over to the bar to get a drink. Noticing how young you are the bartender completely ignores you by serving everyone else around you. No one notices that you are there and does nothing to help you. 

“Can I get a glass of champagne and an old-fashioned?” a smoky voice asks. 

You look up to see none other than James Buchanan Barnes the former Winter Soldier. He has his hair slick back and a plain black tux. “You are James Buchanan Barnes,” you marvel. Then you shake your head and add, “I’m sorry if that was rude.” You look down at the bar ashamed of your behavior. 

“Hey, it’s fine. Really you’d be surprised how many people here look at me and see the terrifying ‘Winter Soldier’. It’s nice to meet someone who sees me for me.” 

“Oh yeah, I know none of that ‘Winter Soldier’ stuff is your fault. I mean you are a great person so I guess that’s all that matters,” you say with a shrug. 

He chuckles and asks, “Can I buy you a drink?” 

“Oh no, I can’t drink! I’m too young to drink. I’m just trying to get water.” 

“Thank you. Can I also get water please?” 

James Buchanan Barnes takes a sip of his old fashioned and asks, “Wait if you are so young what the hell are you doing at one of Tony Stark’s parties?” 

“Well my dad is here to make a good impression to these people for his job and my mom would have been his date but she had to stay home to take care of my brother. So he brought me.” You punctuate the sentence with a shrug. 

“Well how about you come over and meet the gang? Come with me.” He starts walking away but adds, “You can call me Bucky by the way.” 

Remembering what your dad said about being polite you promise yourself not to drool over the heroes and make a fool of yourself. Bucky leads you over to one of the couches, there are some people sitting on it some around it. You recognize all of them even in their fancy clothing. 

“Okay so this is Nat she is Russian and angry, don’t cross her. Tony the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Stevie the blond beauty.” Steve’s face blushes bright red. “Thor the muscular alien king. Loki the trickster he will try to kill you at some point, but it is okay because he is really just a softy.” Loki gives him a grunt and a dirty look. “Bruce, he is also a big softy, but don’t make him angry. Sam he really sucks, we just hang out with him because we pity him. Rhodes now him we all love. Peper, now she is the best, like the best, we all love her. Nick, he scares me, but I’m sure there is a sweetie inside under all of the angry shell. Clint, he is dumb and shoots arrows. Scott, he can make himself small and do close up magic. And everyone this is… I actually don’t know.” 

“My name is (Y/N). And it’s nice to meet all of you. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” 

“Nonsense, we were just discussing soulmates. Where were you, Mr. Blond Beauty?” Tony teases. 

“I… was uh saying that when Bucky was regaining his memory, he would write little notes on his hands and they would show up on mine. It was kind of like a little peek into his head.” 

“Yeah, I get Stevie’s doodles on my skin,” Bucky swoons. They are staring lovingly into each other's eyes and everyone but you seems to find it disgusting and annoying. 

“Ignoring that, sometimes I see equations and whatnot show up on my skin, and I think it’s kind of cute seeing what Jane is working on when I’m not around,” Thor admits with a shrug. 

“Same!” Pepper and Natasha sigh at the same time, and that earns a chuckle out of everyone, a smirk from Tony, and a blush from Bruce. 

“Yeah every once and a while I get equations on my hands when Hope needs to remember stuff,” Scott adds rolling up his sleeve to show everyone. 

“What about you, (Y/N)? Any cool stuff on your skin?” Tony asks turning to you. 

Every eye in the group is staring at you. You can feel all of them beating down on you. You can’t mess up and embarrass your family so you simply say, “Yeah I guess, a phone number and a name here and there. Most of the time it is just due dates for projects at school.” 

“Sorry, I’m late Mr. Stark. Everyone else, sorry,” says a cute little squeaky voice coming up behind you. The person the voice belongs to sits down next to you, almost on top of you. He has soft brown eyes, fluffy brown hair, a sharp jawline, and a smile that could light up the room. 

“Hey kid, nice suit,” Mr. Stark says, admiration in his eyes. 

“Where have you been, Pete?” Steve asks, leaning over you to tousle his hair. 

His face turns ruby red. “I had to wait for Aunt May to get out of work so she could drive me.” The boy scans the room his eyes stopping at you, he looks you up and down his jaw practically dropping to the floor. 

A navy blue ball gown is fanned out around you. The dress itself is a bit poofy at the bottom and floor-length, and it is decorated with lace appliques. White eyeshadow tinted with gold sparkles dusts your eyes and lip gloss coats your lips. You and your mom decide on just doing natural hair just using hairspray to keep it in a position you like. 

The boy's brown eyes skim over you again, stopping at your breasts before moving on to your lips, your nose, your shimmering eyes, and lands on your hair framing your face. 

“Hi,” he breathes a little smile on his face. “I’m Peter by the way.” 

“I’m (Y/N).” You look down your skin tinged red as a blush creeps up your neck and onto your cheeks. 

“How about you, sweetie?” Natasha asks looking at Peter. “What kind of stuff shows up on your skin?” 

“Oh my gosh, it is the most beautiful thing,” he gushes, “swirls and flowers and all kinds of designs. I love it every time I wake up there is a new one.” He pauses. “One night I was up late doing homework and I sat there for almost an hour watching the ink flow onto my skin. It was a few minutes until 4 by the time I couldn’t stand being up that long so I collapsed and by the time I woke up there was pen marks up my left arm almost like a sleeve tattoo.” 

You run your hand up your arm and goosebumps appear. 

“What is that on your arm, (Y/N)?” Bruce asks gesturing towards you. 

A surprised noise escapes your mouth and you look down reading the marks on the backside of your palm. They read, “Don’t forget to ask Tony about the rose for Aunt May”. 

“Um, it’s… just, um,” you stutter. 

Next to you, Peter’s eyes go wide as he reads and he slaps his hands over his mouth in surprise. Everyone can clearly see what is written on his hand matches what is on yours. 

“Well, you know what that means!” Tony whoops. 

Next thing you know you and Peter are caught in a dog pile as everyone in the group is on top of you. 

The rest of the night you and Peter take turns answering each other's and the rest of the group’s questions as a “get to know you”. 

[lovemychoices]

Playing with Fire - RoD AU [Colt x MC] - Ch.2 2/2

Book: Ride or Die

Once upon a time, an angel fell for a devil and they called it true love. -J.P.D

Kaela Matsuo didn’t think she would fall in love with someone during her senior year of highschool it was the last thing on her mind but then she met Colt while hanging out with Logan and everything changed. After taking down Jason and saying their heartbreaking goodbyes will Kaela and Colt ever find a way back to each other again? And if they do are they ready to face new obstacles together?

Characters except my OCs belong to Pixelberry, I am just borrowing them.

Word count : 5000+++

Chapter Summary: Kaela tries to forget Colt the only way she knows how.

A/N : Sorry it’s been months since this series has been updated and to be honest IDK when the next chapter will be up. Sorry for any grammatical error I didn’t have the time to do edits.

Warning/Triggers : Alcohol and Drug abuse. [Make sure you’re 18 years old and above if you read this]

catch up with the series here

Song Inspiration: Signals in Smoke - Coming up for air

How long can you wait

To breathe deep

How long can you stay

Underneath

It's hard to believe

But I know your heart still beats

Rise on up baby

Don't need eyes to see

Later that night, Kaela followed the direction of the address that Riya texted her which lead to a gated mansion somewhere in the hills but she couldn’t hear or see any signs of a party.

Confused she double checks the address on her GPS System. “This should be the right place?” She murmured to herself. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

A loud knock on her window causes her to jolt in her seat. She looks the drivers window and sees a man with strong build body wearing a crisp black suit. She cautiously rolls down her window a little.

“You lost or something miss?” The man asked eyeing her curiously.

“Um.. I’m here for a party at Mike’s place?” She answered showing the digital invite on her phone. The man takes a look at the screen taking his own phone from his pocket and started scanning the barcode on Kaela’s invite.

INVITE VALID

He gives her an approving nod and the gates in front of her open. She lets out a sigh of relief then nods back at him and quickly puts her gear into drive.

As she drives through the estate she sees a few dimly lit lamp posts and perfectly trimmed hedges. A little while after she could hear the faint sound of music playing in the background. In the driveway a bunch of expensive sports cars parked next to a two storey modern mansion.

Wow! This is where Mike lives? She checks herself in the rear-view mirror then heaves a sigh. You can do this it’s just one night out. Kaela felt like she needed something to calm her nerves so she reaches out to open her dashboard taking out an orange prescription bottle labeled Xanax on it which she had bought from one of her classmates a month ago. “Fuck! I’m all out.” She muttered throwing her head back on the headrest then glance towards mansion.

Maybe they’ll have something in there. Rich people always have the best prescription pills.

As she approaches the top step, a housekeeper opens the front door. Loud party noise and music blasted out as she enters, she felt like she was in some sort of fraternity party. People were dancing around consumed by the music around them, to the right a group of people cheering on a few guys doing a keg stand challenged.

I need to find the master bath, it must be somewhere upstairs.

“Kaela! Kaela over here!” Riya calls out with her hands waved in the air, quickly walking over to where Kaela was standing. “Omg, I’m so glad you decide to come!” She beamed excitedly giving Kaela a hug. “Come on, let's head outside by the pool, I have a few friends I want to introduce you to.”

Before Kaela can protest Riya takes her hand and guides her along the crowd to the middle of the living area and through the back door where a large swimming pool was located next to the house.

“Everyone, Kaela. Kaela, everyone.” Riya introduces her to a few people sitting by the pool.

“Hey Kaela!” Everyone greets in unison. “Hi…” Kaela smiles giving a sheepish wave. One of the girls stood up and hugged her excitedly taking Kaela by surprise. She pulls back a few moments later. “So nice to finally meet you, we always wondered when we were going to meet this mysterious Kaela, Riya’s always talking about. I’m Jane by the way.”

“Really Riya talks about me a lot?” She asked cocking and eyebrow at Riya.

Riya chuckles. “Only the good stuff I promise!” Kaela shakes her head and grabs a beer from the chiller next to her and twisting the cap open and has a sip before taking a seat next to Riya

“So does Mike have these parties all the time? Where is he anyway? I didn’t see him on the way in.”

Will snorts. “Probably inside entertaining the ladies, lucky bastard.”

The DJ starts to play a song Riya excitedly jump from her seat. “Oh I love this song!” She exclaims taking Kaela’s hand. “Common Kaela time to let loose and dance all your troubles away.”

Riya and the others danced moving their body as the music plays not missing a beat. Kaela watches stiff at first, she can’t remember the last time she danced like that. “Kaela don’t just stand there!” Riya said as she swayed from side to side.

“I’m gonna need more alcohol if I’m going to get through this.” She mutterd under her breath.

She quickly grabs a few glasses of neon shots from people nearby downing them in one go. Soon enough the alcohol starts to kick in, her body loosens, she starts swaying her hips to the sound of the music. For that brief moment she felt all her pain and sorrow being suppressed. She continues to dance letting the hours pass by, not stopping until suddenly the DJ plays a familiar song.

***

Flash back here…

Kaela takes in the electric colours, blacklight illuminated the ravers neon clothing. Drinks glow blue, pink and purple against the darkness. It was her first time going to a rave and it wasn’t like she had expected. She glanced down to see the colours on her clothes she borrowed from Mona how they brilliantly under the luminous lighting. Her eyes go wide opened and beamed. “Wow it’s like I’m radioactive!”

“You’re welcome.” Mona gave her a playful wink.

The group stood at the back as they watched other people dance around. “So what do we do?” Kaela asked.

“What do we do? We dance!” Mona answered with a smirk.

“Yeah. But like… how?”

Ximena chuckles. “However you want Hun. do what feels good, don’t overthink it.”

Mona sways sensually to the music, Toby jumps up and down. Salazar moves to an open spot at the dance floor and breaks into an energetically sequence of sliding and foot pumping. “And that’s called the Melbourne shuffle.” He beamed. The crew applauds and laugh. Even Logan shakes his head for smiles. He can feel his phone vibrate and excuses himself for a bit leaving Kaela and Colt alone while the others were off busy dancing.

Let's dance in style, let's dance for a while

Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies

Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst

Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young or let us live forever

We don't have the power, but we never say never

Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip

The music's for the sad man

“Oh! I love this song!” She beamed excitedly. “Come on, Colt!”

Colt hesitated looking at the rest of the crew doing their thing. “I.. don’t really dance.”

Kaela chuckles. “Me neither. Now come on!” She quickly took Colt’s hand before he could protest. Lacing their fingers together she leads him away out of sight from the rest of the crew.

Colt pulled her body close to his and tilted her chin face up to look at him, his lips curled up into a grin. “I would be lying if I said I haven’t been waiting to get you to myself today. Just follow my lead.” He turned her around so her back is facing his then lightly touches her waist, they both swayed effortlessly to the beat. In time with the pulsating beat he pushes her away then pulled her back closer this time with her face inches away from his. “Is Logan watching?”

“Why do you care if he does?” She quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Is it bad that a part of me wants him to?” He grinned.

“I’m not some possession for you two to fight over, Colt. I’m an actual person.”

“You’re not.. you’re more than that Kaela. At least to me you are.”

“What am I to you Colt?” Colt paused for a moment, they both stopped for a moment in the middle of the crowd of people dancing. He tucks a strand of Kaela’s loose hair to the back of her ear, she can see passion in his eyes as he looks at her. Colt leans in until his lips are just a breath away from hers, “You’re my driver forever, Kaela.”

She pushed her hands through Colt’s hair, bringing his mouth to hers.In that moment they both forget about everything and everyone in the room, even the loud music starts to fade into the background as they drown in each others kiss.

***

Present day..

Can you imagine when this race is won?

Turn our golden the faces into the sun

Praising our leaders, we're getting in tune

The music's played by the, the madman.

Forever young

I want to be forever young

Do you really want to live forever?

Forever, and ever.

That song, it was the song that she and Colt danced to at Hyrieus a year ago. Kaela could feel her heart beating fast and loudly as all the memories of that night with Colt replayed in her head. Suddenly the pain and sorrow comes crashing back at her, she felt like she was suffocating. “I need to get out of here.” Kaela pants and quickly pushed her way through the crowd walking up a flight of stairs leading to the first floor corridor.

She tries to open every door she comes across but each one she found was always locked until eventually one opens. She enters to what seems like the master bedroom and without a second thought saunters directly towards the bathroom.

Kaela stands in front of the mirror, hands pressed on the sink leaning with her head down. She closes her eyes and began reciting the same words repeatedly in her head. Breathe in one two three, breathe out three two one. ”Fuck this isn’t working.” She muttered under her breath, her eyes moves towards the Medicine cabinet in front of her.

Maybe there’s something in here that will.

She opens it and starts rummaging through. Lets see few dental flosses, vitamins, health supplements. Urgh where’s the good stuff?

She finally got her hands an orange prescription bottle, she took a look at the description labeled OXYCODONE one time daily or when needed. BINGO! Without even hesitating she popped the bottle open taking one pill and quickly putting it in her mouth swallowing it, later filling up a glass of water and drinking it all in one go. Kaela that the perception bottle from the sink counter top and shoves it in her purse, adjusting her messy hair before heading out.

She slowly closes the door behind her, failing to notice someone standing right outside she bumps right into them.

“Woah, careful!” Someone said catching her by the arm as she stammers back surprised, she looks up and sees a familiar face. “Mike, when did you get here?”

“Um.. I live here, it’s my party remember? What are you doing all the way up here?” He answers cocking an eyebrow.

“I um… needed to find the bathroom but got lost. Big house you got here.” She replied nervously. “But you know I succeeded in finding one so all good.”

“Good to know.” He chuckles then folds his arms scanning Kaela head to toe. “Listen, I’m heading up to the rooftop garden to get some air. You could join me if you want?”

“You have a rooftop garden?” Kaela thought for a moment before giving a half shrug.“Sure why not? I need to get some air anyway.”

Mike took her up another flight of stairs, he opened the door which lead to a beautiful rooftop garden.It had a miniature garden with pebble stones lining the pathway on one side and on the other side an outside bar with a hot tub overlooking the view of the neighborhood. Kaela’s eyes go wide open. “Wow! This is your rooftop? It’s amazing!”q

“You can thank my interior designer for that it was her vision. So have a seat anywhere you want.”

Kaela climbs on top edge of the roof and takes a seat at the edge, her legs dangling from above. She could see the pool right below her and the view of the landscape in front of her.

“This view is amazing. No offense but how’d you end up with a place like this? I thought you only owned a gym.”

Mike runs his hands through his hair. “Well not just a gym, I have few others all over California. Most of my clients big shot politics and A list celebrities. Plus my family is rich.”

Kaela snorts. “No kidding.”

“I’m serious..My last name is actually West.”

Kaela chokes a little when she hears the name. “As in West industries? They’re like multimillionaires?” Mike silently nods then looks away. “So... Why run a gym instead of being some big hot shot CEO?”

Mike shrugged at her question. “I didn’t really want to go into the family business. I’ve spent my whole life having my father tell me what I’m supposed to be and I’ve always felt so suffocated, you know? It wasn’t until I lost everything I ever cared about that I decided enough is enough.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice. I definitely know what it’s like to have a parent expect you to be someone you’re not.”

“Strike one of something we have in common.” He smirked. “I’m keeping score to see how compatible we are. You know for future reference.” He explains and gives a playful wink.

Kaela chuckles. “That’s a really interesting way of keeping score. Does it always work?”

“Most of the time.”

There was an awkward silence between them for a few seconds. Shit is he thinking of kissing me? Please don’t You’re going to ruin the moment. Mike starts to lean in, trying to close the gap between them, he was obviously going to kiss her. Kaela tilts her head down a look of regret written on her face. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this. You’re a really nice guy Mike, but I just got out of a serious relationship and I’m just not ready.”

Mike leans back, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I didn’t know. How long have the two of you been broken up?”

“We didn’t Break up. He—. He—.” She fumbled trying to form the words. Take deep breaths and exhale slowly Kaela. ”He was involved in an accident about 3 months, he didn’t make it.”

“I’m sorry to hear about that, believe me I know what it’s like losing someone you love. To have them suddenly ripped from you.” He seethes, Kaela noticed his jaw clenched and his hands ball into a fist.

“Who was she?” She asked, Mike turns to look at her, his expression a mixture between sad and confused. “When you said you lost everything you cared about earlier. I’m assuming it has to do with someone you cared about.”

“She was.. Someone I met in college sophomore year. She was the most kind and beautiful person I have ever met. We started dating a few months after knowing each other then it went from that to being in a relationship for the next 5 years.” Mike paused for a moment he fidget with a silver ring on his finger. Kaela could barely make out the words engraved on the ring but it has the initials M&K.

“You know the night of the accident we were supposed to spend the weekend at one of my family's estates in the mountains. I had this whole plan to propose to her.” He paused again with regret written on his face. “But I got held back at work, so I told her I’d have someone pick her up she could head up there first and I would catch up later. A few hours later I got a call from the police…..”

As Mike told Kaela about the night his girlfriend got into a car accident, voices of that night she got the call from Ximena regarding Colt’s accident starts replaying in her head.

“Kaela honey, I wish I was calling you under different circumstances and I’m sorry to be the one telling you this but—.”

“But what X? You need to tell me.”

“It’s about Colt. He’s.. He’s been in an accident and he didn’t make it.”

“Kaela. Hey Kaela you alright?”

She is slowly pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of Mike’s voice.

“Are you alright?”

“I uh… yeah. I’m fine.” She mentions, tucking strand of loose hair to the back of her ear.

“Anyway the trick is to focus on something that will make you forget. For me it was martial arts, I got to channel all my anger into someplace else. Who knows, it might be for you too. Whenever you ready just give me a call.”

He handed her his business card and she takes it, giving him a weak smile.

“We should probably head back to the party. Riya might be worried and looking for you.”

Mike slowly got up and steps away from the edge, he stretched out his hand to Kaela.

“You coming?”

“Uh… Yeah. Hey you go ahead I’ll be right behind you.”

When Mike wasn’t looking she quickly popped another piece of pill into her mouth, closing her eyes and taking deeps breaths she could feel the pill start to kick in.

Maybe this is just what I need.

*****

In the weeks to come Kaela’s night were filled with parties endless drinking and getting high, anything to make her forget. She was sick of feeling miserable, she was sick of crying herself to sleep at night. This felt like the easiest way out to her. She did a pretty good job at hiding it from her friends and family though. Since she only hung out with Riya a few times a month and visit her dad once a month, nobody took notice in her sudden change of lifestyle choices. Everyone just assumed she had finally accepted what happened to Colt and moved on.

“No.. We are not watching that Ri.”

“Please K?” Riya pouts her lips.

“Omg… We are not going to watch TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE for the 5th time.”

“But.. But.. Peter Kavinsky.” She pouted again throwing her puppy dog eyes at Kaela.

Kaela rolled her eyes at Riya. “Okay find, but I’m picking the next one.”

“Deal!” Riya grinned and hit the play button on the remote.

“I need to use the bathroom for a bit, the pizza delivery guy will be here soon. Take care of it will you?”

A few seconds later there is a buzz on the door, Riya opens and is greeted by the delivery guy. “That will be twenty four fifty.” He says hold the pizza box out.

Riya takes it and shuffles through her purse for cash but is a little short. “Um.. I’m a little short on cash. Could you hand on a sec?” She hurries to the island and grabs Kaela’s purse to get some cash but she ends up finding more. Oxycodone? She quickly stuffs the bottle in her jeans and pays the pizza guy. “Here you go, keep the change.”

A few minutes later Kaela came out of the bathroom and saunters over to the living area, Riya was seated on the couch glaring at her. “Is something wrong?”

“Mind telling me what’s this?” Riya asked holding up an orange pill bottle. “What do you even need Oxycodone for?”

“Omg.. Did you just go through my stuff without my permission?!” She retorted, her hands balling into a fist. “You have no right to do that Riya.”

“I was short on cash and looked through you purse to borrow some. Maybe it’s a good thing I did or who knows how long your drug addiction was going to continue.” She gives Kaela a pointed look. “Is that why you’ve been so chill the past few months? Because you’ve been using? What else have you been using? Heroin? Cocaine?”

“I’m not a drug addict if that’s what you’re implying, I only use them when I go to parties or when I’m feeling stressed out.” She folds her arms her with her eyes downcast. “And for the record I don’t do heroin or cocaine. I’m mostly on prescription pill and occasionally Molly.”

“Kaela how could you be so stupid?! Grieving is one thing but this?!”

“Don’t talk to me like you know what it’s like to feel grief. I tried to grieve him, Riya. Trust me I've got grieving down to a science at this point. But every time I let it sink in that I'm never gonna see you again, I feel like I'm gonna die.” She whimpered. “I— I want to die!

“You can’t say things like that Kaela.”

“And why not? It’s the truth! I can’t do this anymore.. I’m sorry.. I need to go somewhere.” She said taking her purse from the counter and storms out of the apartment, Riya chasing her shortly after into the parking lot “Kaela where are you going, you can’t do this you need help. Just talk to me please!” She pleaded reaching to take her hand but Kaela

“Omg! Riya can you like not!” She belts swatting Riya’s hand away as she tries to take her. “Just leave me alone!” She quickly gets into her car and drives away while Riya watches her from behind.

*****

Kaela drives aimlessly through the streets of LA, she didn’t know where she was going, she just needed to get away from Riya. She needed to get away from everything, to clear her head and a long drive usually does the trick.

Soon she found herself off the highway and on to the freeway which soon lead to a winding road. She could feel her heart pounding as she picks up speed, tears starting to fog her eyes. I can’t do this anymore.. I just can’t. Her phone starts ringing and she looks down at the passenger seat where it was lying, it was Riya calling. She hits the reject button and turns back to the road when she did suddenly out of no where a stray dog was standing in the middle of the winding road and only a few meters from her car, she turned the steering wheel to avoid hitting the pup but at the speed she was going in it made her quickly loose control. Her car swivels on the winding road and rammed onto a divider before flipping over.

Kaela remained strapped to her seat hanging upside down.. The smell of something burning nearby, blood was dripping from her forehead to the ground and her vision was starting to get blurry, she could barely make out what looks like a figure, maybe a passerby who saw the accident dashing over to where she was. “Help me...” She murmurs in a weak voice but before the person manages to get her out she passes out and everything turns to black.

*************************************************

@liamzigmichael4ever @client-327 @brightpinkpeppercorn @lovehugsandcandy @lilyofchoices @justdani14 @zaffrenotes @queenkaneko @mskaneko @pintsizedelle @flowerpowell @desiree-0816 @emceesynonymroll @kinkykingliam @jlpplays1 @annekebbphotography @thecordoniandiaries @cora-nova @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @leelee10898 @emichelle @pixelberrytrash

[zerotexas1975]

lights out (part 1);

↳ pairing: taehyung x female reader

↳ genre: friends to lovers au | horror | crack | fluff | smut

↳ word count: 2,254

↳ warnings: cursing, smut for the next part

↳ summary: when your apartment is haunted on a Halloween day but not really.

part 1 | part 2 (final) | masterlist

First thing you notice when you wake up is that all of your doors and drawers are open.

You squint your eyes at the bright light of your phone when you reach one hand to grab it at the nightstand, rolling to your side in the comfort of one of Taehyung’s sweaters you stole.

There are no particular messages you want to reply, so you get up and pad into the corridor to the kitchen dragging your bare feets on the floor and closing all of the doors in the way - and you would have put more thoughts into it if you weren’t so thirsty.

You place your phone at the open kitchen counter and open your refrigerator to fill a glass with ice and water. You massage the side of your head and while you down the welcomed drink, you wonder how and why you are still alive - when the image of Taehyung taking care of you flash in front of your eyes.

Ah, right. Your best friend might be evil and he did dare you last night to drink all of those shots, but he still took you home and helped you in your bed - probably forced down your throat one advil or two too.

You smile to yourself, the fond one you only have reserved to Taehyung and whenever you think about him.

The water you just had felt refreshing though made you feel a little nauseous and you crouch down to open the cabinet under the sink in order to find another pill.

You wince both at the sound of a new message that arrived running throughout the silent place and to the fact that you hit your head when you jumped scared, cursing under your breath after getting up and turning around to grab the device - but stop with your hand froze in the air because when you see it is not there.

A frown adorn your face and you bend over the counter to see if it fell from there and find it on the floor of the living room, meters away from where you left it.

You pick it up at the same time another two messages arrives and you don’t think about anything anymore - the light pain on your head momentarily but easily forgotten when you read the name on the screen.

You feel the smile creeping up on your lips and the way your heartbeat increases, but ignore them as usual.

taetae (11:21): is my dude okay? didn’t drown on your own vomit, did you?

taetae (11:22): should i check?

taetae (11:22): dont forget about the partytttt

you (11:23): stop calling me that

you (11:23): and im alright, you took good care of me ♡

you (11:24): i still hate you though this is your fault

taetae (11:25): not really??? and you love me

you (11:25): hm

taetae (11:26): ㅠ_ㅠ

you (11:26): whatever lmao see you later

taetae (11:27): ( ＾∇＾)

You roll your eyes and go back to the kitchen, shoving your phone into the pocket of your sweater.

You move around to make yourself some simple breakfast, something that will stay inside of your stomach without much effort and not long after you are sitting at the cold floor and eating, the other pill already swallowed.

You munch on your food, thinking about Taehyung’s text and the past week.

You see, there’s this tradition between you and your friends - that started not much after you all entered college. It’s when you find a way, no matter what, to spend a whole week together.

And they chose what they say is the best time of the year.

They chose Halloween.

So every last week of october you find yourself getting drunk, doing stupid things - because you are all stupids, but seeing each other at least.

That was the way you all managed to keep in contact. And yes, you might curse them all for the entirety of the month of november, but dude you have fun.

Even if you can’t remember half of the things that happened - and still have fresh on your mind the ones you wanted to forget.

Like Taehyung avoiding you like the plague yesterday at one point.

You think how it shouldn’t be important, seeing as he took care of you later and texted you today like nothing happened - but he didn’t stay the night. And he always he did.

Pushing the thought away and laughing briefly at the image of - please listen, a drunk Seulgi asking the DJ of the nightclub to play the music theme of Winx Club, you stand up and place the empty plate at the sink.

Taking in one deep breath you stretch your body, feeling slightly better. A nap would make you feel renewed.

Your body stiffen though when you hear the loud pitched voice of a comedian echoing through the thin walls of the apartment - it comes from the TV at the living room, you think, and you frown deeply when you see the images dancing in front of you when you approach it.

The volume is all the way up, and you twist around looking for the remote - giving up when you don’t find it and pressing the single button at the TV to turn it off.

You space out, arms hanging loose at your sides and eyes wide. Your mind force yourself to remind of the open doors and drawers and then the way your phone appeared on the living room when you swear you placed it on the kitchen counter, and now this.

You laughed incredulously now.

You blame hungover and your sleepy state when you woke up and shrug the bad feeling off of your body.

Not that you have really bad hangovers after being taken care of, and not that you were that sleepy when you woke up - but today is the exception. You will pretend at least that today is different.

Unfortunately, your day is really different. Unfortunately because it is not in the way you expected it to be.

Really weird things happened while you tried to distract yourself with chores - that you decided you’d be doing after you tossed helplessly around in bed trying to take a nap.

The shower turned on while you were inside your room and the lights flickered so many times that at one point you lost count. You heard the front door cracking open and then shutting twice, the TV was loud again and you were too scared to go back to the living room - so you just reached your arm out and with the remote of the TV in your room you turned it off.

But what made you snap and take a few clothes and important documents (because you are responsible and smart) and shove them inside a bag was the power.

One moment you were curled up in your bed with headphones and loud music playing, and the other you were screaming because the whole house becomes pitch black - all of your electric appliances shutting down in that characteristic sound.

-

“Well demon, you want my house?” You sigh, taking one last look at your beloved apartment before shouting the next sentence that followed with the loud bang of the door shutting close, “you fucking have it!”

You huff under your breath, carrying the heavy bag you arranged behind you, “I’m going to live in a church,” you muttered. “God bless me.”

You were so irritated that a demon had the courage to haunt your apartment that you didn’t notice that yours was the only one without energy.

Nor the person carefully hidden in the corner, close to the panel boards. Your panel board.

-

Taehyung practices his most serious yet surprised expression in front of the mirror before turning around to open the door and welcome you.

“Hi?” he looks at you with said expression and proud.

You enter his house without waiting for invitation - not that you needed it but you always had good manners, and drop your heavy bag on the floor.

“The party is one hour away,” he eyed you up and down. “Why you are not dressed yet?”

“My house is haunted and I’m going to sleep here with you until the demon decides to have mercy on me and leave.” You cry and your brows knitted together the moment you noticed how crazy you sounded.

You think though that this is not important, not when you are going through something like this.

And Taehyung is just as crazy as you and all of your friends combined - that’s saying a lot because you are friends with Kim Seokjin, so he is not one to judge you.

He covers his mouth with a fist, turning his laugh into a cough before you see it, “a demon?”

“Well,” you click your tongue. “Yeah, maybe some kind of spiritual shit that I don’t have the mental stability to deal with.”

Is just now that you take a good look in Taehyung and see he is wearing a purple suit, and his hair is sprayed with a bright green color. You pout, “I forgot about that.”

“What are you waiting for now that you are here?” He grabs you by the shoulder and guide you to his room, running back to grab your bag to place it gently in your arms.

He did not hear a word you said?

“I-“ you look at him hesitantly before deciding that you can talk to him about it later. You don’t want to ruin his halloween night with something that you hope is just inside of your head, “I don’t have my fantasy here with me.”

He raises one eyebrow at you before entering the room and disappearing inside of the closet. The sound of his voice comes low from there when he calls for your name.

“Here you go,” he hands you a paper bag after you met him and when you grab and open it your jaw drop.

“B-but how?” your confused expression is too cute for him to deal with when you see your Batman fantasy inside the bag, so he bend over you to kiss your cheek.

Sure, you bought it together but you know you took it home with you.

You were sure, and now you are scared of going mad at such a young age. What a waste.

Taehyung is once again holding his laugh back in his throat because of the way you look at him. He move to the left little enough to peck your nose and then he is shutting the door behind him to give you some privacy.

“Don’t take too long, I’ll need help with my makeup!” You hear his voice through the door and sigh in defeat.

-

“Stop moving,”

“Sorry.” He said for the nth time.

“Shush, Tae,” you rub your thumb over his mouth until the red lipstick is all smudged.

You low your hand but can’t take your eyes off of his lips; not that you never noticed but today they are specially soft. They felt soft under your fingers too. Somehow you can even feel it against yours. And you wonder if- “Done!”

Taehyung almost fall off the chair with your outburst and you are stepping back until the back of your knees hits the couch.

You don’t know that, but he was wondering the same thing. Not how your lips felt - that he knew, but about kissing you. And he was just relieved as you were because of your outburst, though the reasons differed.

He watched the way you turned to the mirror and nervously straightened your clothes, a side smile on his face and heart fluttering. You have no idea how excited he is to that party, yet he wasn’t about to deny how nervous he felt. What if his friends were all wrong?

“Why is it called a Batman fantasy when it’s a dress?” You say looking down at your clothes.

He stands up and approach you from behind, holding your back against his chest and resting his chin on the crown of your head, “because it was made for man to look at.”

You elbow him on the stomach playfully, and he moves from behind you with a pained expression. You stick your tongue out to him teasingly and he pinch your arm until you pull him away.

“Child,” he said.

You shrugged, grabbing your phone from the Batman’s utility belt, “c’me here so we can take a nice pic,”

He posed at your side, and in the end after so many pictures and selfies you were laughing at each other’s silly faces.

“Hey, we look good,” you had your eyes in one of the pictures, but he was watching your reflection from the mirror.

He said softly that yes, we do. And your eyes moved from the bright screen to meet his.

How come he looks so hot dressed as the fucking Joker?

The silence that engulfed the room is not weird, but the way the air shifts around you two and how you feel the tension between your bodies makes you gulp, almost thanking loudly when both yours and Taehyung’s phones buzz in your hands.

He is the one to read the message and pull you by the hand out of the house and towards his car, “we should get going, they are waiting for us.”

You don’t know if it was the greatest or worst timing your friends had.

A/N: this was a halloween special that was updated too late after halloween but at least it was out haha thank you for reading and please let me know what you think about this first part!

[aliciameade]

2018 Fic Roundup

Tagged by NO ONE, YOU SONS OF BITCHES! j/k @emilyjunk (not @mostgirls like I just tagged because I always mix you up due to your Hailee icons) posted this and I just really wanted to see what my stats were and it was super fun!

Total 2018 Word Count: 227,047 - ooookay then.

Total 2018 Hits: 126,452 on AO3; no clue about FFnet since their story stats are presently offline. (AO3 seemed to group all of FH & Remix’s lifelong hits into 2018′s stats so that is literally double what I think it should be.)

Other 2018 AO3 Stats: Kudos (5742), Comment Threads (1227), Bookmarks (1034), Subscriptions (1149). 

Links & Titles to 2018 Works: Apparently there are 22 of them so behind the Read More we go...

Everything Happens for a Reason (11,910 words) Beca/Chloe Paired up by a dating program that puts an expiration date on relationships, Beca and Chloe begin to question the system's logic. Yes, this is an AU of Black Mirror's "Hang the DJ." Rated M

The Sandwich Discourse (708 words) Beca/Chloe Prompt: “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!” - Chloe trying to banish Beca from their bed after she said something stupid. Rated T

The Greatest (19,433 words) Beca/Chloe With nothing in common but their dream of reaching the Olympics, Beca and Chloe are each other's last resort. Reluctantly, they join forces, but it's not long before the barbs - and sparks - start flying. Yup, you read that right. This AU is for The Cutting Edge. Rated T

Earned It, Worth It, Deserve It (15,677 words) Beca/Chloe Prompt: Beca gets roped into giving Chloe a lapdance. Chloe's brain gets broken (like wtf) because surprisingly Beca is really good at the lapdance and not awkward. Not being able to stop thinking about it all evening, she later goes to Beca. The rest is up to you. Rated M

First Time for Everything (3349 words) Beca/Chloe Summary: Inspired by this amazing story; I read it and HAD to write it. Rated M

The Kissing Booth (19,952 words) Beca/Chloe When Beca Mitchell, a late-bloomer who's never-been-kissed, decides to run a kissing booth at her high school's Spring Carnival, she unexpectedly finds herself locking lips with her secret crush - and best friend's sister - Chloe Beale. Rated T

The One with All the Kissing (1688 words) Beca/Chloe Summary: Written for Bechloe Week 2018 - Day 1: Accidental Kiss. Who doesn't love a nice "Friends" homage? Rated T

Whats-His-Name (2003 words) Beca/Chloe Summary: Written for Bechloe Week 2018 - Day 2: Jealousy Rated T

Symrise (547 words) Beca/Chloe Summary: Written for Bechloe Week 2018 - Day 3: Drunk Texting Rated G

Just Friends (1755 words) Beca/Chloe Summary: Written for Bechloe Week 2018 - Day 4: Why? Rated T

That's So Cliché (600 words) Beca/Chloe Summary: Written for Bechloe Week 2018 - Day 5: Road Trip Rated T

A Bubble (419 words) Beca/Chloe Summary: Written for Bechloe Week 2018 - Day 6: Good Luck Charm Rated G

Body Shop (8707 words) Beca/Chloe Summary: Beca's car breaks down on the freeway. Luckily, a local mechanic can give her a ride. Inspired by Madonna’s song “Body Shop.” Rated M

Finding Harmony (43,804 words in 2018) Beca/Chloe Summary: A confessed regret. A rejection. A conversation that was meant to be private - overheard by the one person Chloe never wanted to hear it. Where will the future lead Beca and Chloe? Only time will tell.  Rated M

36 Questions (19,774 words) Beca/Chloe A psychological study was conducted to determine whether two people could be made to fall in love. These 36 questions were the result. Rated M

Not A Serial Killer (1459 words) Emily/Aubrey Summary: Emily needs to ask Aubrey a question. Rated G

Silence Is Golden (387 words) Jessica/Ashley Summary: It’s easy to sneak around. Rated G

Fade Into You (29,441 words) Beca/Chloe Tip for newlyweds: send a wedding invite to every billionaire whose address you can find because it's a 50/50 chance their assistants just send you a perfunctory gift without ever wondering who the hell you are. Or: Beca had a really good terrible idea when she got tired of being broke in New York. Rated T

Baby (37,128 words & counting) Stephanie Smothers/Emily Nelson That tearful kiss shared between Stephanie and Emily wasn't their first—and it certainly wasn't their last. Rated E

Baby, It’s Cold Outside (8306 words) Beca/Chloe Maybe venturing into the woods during questionable winter weather wasn't one of Chloe's best ideas. But even if she could go back in time, she wouldn't change it for the world. Rated T

Favorite Fic: It feels like I’m cheating on Finding Harmony to say Fade Into You and Baby are tied for my favorite works of 2018, but...

Hardest Fic: Figuring out how to end Finding Harmony. 100%.

Do you plan on taking prompts in 2019? Ehh sure? I don’t complete prompts very often and encourage people who really want to see their prompts come to fruition to ask someone else, but sometimes I can find inspiration in someone else’s idea.

What was the best thing about 2018? Completing Finding Harmony and no longer feeling guilty about working on other stories. lol

What was the worst thing about 2018? In my personal fic world? I can’t think of anything specific!

Any last thoughts for 2018? Well, I’m a day late and a dollar short now, but I think 2018 was my biggest personal growth as a writer.

Goals for 2019:

Try more pairings; it’s been fun to ~experiment with characters I don’t usually write.

Make sure I finish Baby so it doesn’t turn into a 3-year-long saga.

Be more encouraging of other writers (which includes making sure I acknowledge in some way that I read their work with a like, kudos, comment, etc).

Maybe start thinking about a totally original story idea or something that could be like an actual book? idk idk

And I know 2018 is over but guess what? I’m going to tag people anyway. @isthemusictoblame @icarli @lets-talk-appellax

[bliphany]

For the end of year writing meme: 1, 12, 18 :-)

Thanks for the ask Ara! Sorry this takes me so long. At least we’re still few hours before the end of year? lol. [from this ask]

1. Favorite Fic You Wrote This Year

It’s ’Leave The Lights On’! It’s my longest fic so far, and the fact that I finished it is one of the reasons I love it - honestly, I’d considered giving it up twice during the creating process for real life reasons, and I’m so glad that I didn’t ditch it in the end.

I also love it for having many characters from the show during the timeframe I chose. It was so fun to plan! Damn hard to write though. I hated me from the planning stage so much while actually writing it. But it’s rewarding to see them be written, too. I like to think that I managed to make their own stories independent enough (having their suspensions and closures etc,) but also have their share of contribution to the main plot so I can say that I did my best not to waste any of them? (Ask me this again a year later lol)

I tried some things in the fic, too, not planned like “I want this effect” in advance, rather like “hey I think maybe I can put sentences this way” seconds before I wrote the part. As someone who just started to use this language to make up stories, I love those tiny parts and no matter whether someone else finds them nice - or finds them at all - those are certainly something I’ll look at and go “hehe” myself. XD

I love those totally unplanned scenes, too. Those I went “Why am I writing this Why WHY ARE YOU ARGUING? There’s NO TIME FOR THIS I got a posting date okay. Do I or ANYONE need a confession scene That long?” while typing and pulling my hair. I’m glad that they exist. Also, unexpected sentences that just came into my head when all I did was putting one sentence after another wondering if those things actually were appealing to read - it was those sentences that came to me voluntarily that convinced me the fic was worth writing. Here’s one of them: “Harold had never been given a chance to say a proper goodbye to his loved ones.” And I really want to share it here because it’s kind of painful and that’s because it’s true and important? Idk, I really love that sentence. :p

12. Favorite Character To Write About This Year

Jessica!

I counted my fics, including WIPs, and found that I’ve written her in different scenarios and I love them all. My 2018 writing started as Jessica binge-watching and being domestic with Kara in my Jessikara series. It was a fluffy one-shot about how their life would be like after the resolution of their relationship in another WIP where they’d broken up, and I hadn’t reached the resolution part yet back then. I stuck. I was like ‘OMG I might not reach the part where you are happy noooo can I write something after that to make up for now?’ XD

As for their resolution in said WIP, hey, I finished their part in 2018! *pat self* I mean, there’s still one last chapter (for Rinch and the rest of the main plot) to be done, and there are some parts I don’t feel particularly happy about yet fall short to fix (it’s the most-edit-even-after-posting fic I have, btw). However, among those parts I love, Jessica’s role is definitely on the top of the list. We got two ex-CIA assassins and Harold Finch, yet if we take every plot point apart and look into how one leads to another, it’s her actions that connect the thread leading to a possible resolution. She doesn’t know or care about the big picture. She is ordinary like she doesn’t need to obtain extra skills or talents to make that happen. All she needs is being who she is, meaning doing what she’ll do, and taking a proactive role to own the life she wants, like what she’d done at the airport in the show.

I remembered I was so worried at the planning stage of this WIP because there’d be so much happening in the foreground: Ordos, gosh Mark Snow, Kara being Kara, John and Harold would want to solve things…, but letting Jessica fade into the background and only show up again after Kara confronting Harold and John confronting Kara didn’t feel right to me. So you can see why I truly love how Jessica’s role turned out to be.

I also worked on another Jessikara WIP which was a Hang the DJ AU (from Black Mirror). In that, she wonders whether Kara’s affection toward her is more about Kara’s belief in the System and less about her, that gonna cause problems, but as always (always as in worlds I build anyway :p) she’ll be the one who points a way out for both of them. I quite like her character in it, including her flaws. Finger crossed for me to finish it in 2019!

The only not-happy fic for her is an AU project for Halloween based on the SCP Foundation setting, where characters get turned into objects is one possible ending. Zaniida invited me to join the project because she could use someone who wrote Jessica or Kara, how sweet was that.

18. Current Number Of WIPs

Haha this. A guilt trip. But actually, I can really take this chance to make my writing plan for 2019 so thanks for picking this out!

I didn’t count those with only an idea but no actual words in a draft, and here they go:

The Hang the DJ AU for Jessikara I mentioned in the previous question, of course. I’m hoping to finish it, if not in time for Femslash February, no later than the middle of this coming year. But it’ll be a long one, so finger crossed!!!

The final chapter of another WIP I mentioned in the previous question, too. Idk why that Rinch resolution part is so hard for me to write? I can read millions of them but why have so much difficulty in writing them? Like, I wrote… three so far? And I’m grabbing from an empty bag from where I might be able to pull out a rabbit, or maybe it’s just an empty bag. Ahhhh.

And there’s another Jessikara WIP where Jessica hates her heels. It’s a one-shot, and I’ve posted part of it on Tumblr before. So it’s proven to me that I can get stuck in a multiple chapter fic, a chapter, and a supposed to be a 1k one-shot.

Then, a translation Rinch fic that brilliantly merged the setting of POI, Inception, and Escape Plan. Hey, I got no progress even in translating too OMG. Is there a WIP bingo? Is there?

Apart from the above POI ones, I also had one WIP for Clare from the Counterpart. It was a monologue about how she was nothing but a shadow and how she married a man she loathed twice. I drafted it when I finished S1, and now S2 has come, and I still haven’t finished it ahhhhhhhh. Is it like I’ve missed a good timing to finish it?

And… four connected one-shots for Miss Sherlock… There are six as a series, and I’ve posted the first two. It felt like great timing to finish and post them all right after the finale, but I’ve missed that timing too. Sign.

So for the coming year, wish me luck, friend. Wish me luck. XDXD

[macperalta]

forever song✨ ask meme

name five songs that you only associate with one character, actor/actress, or ship that you don’t think you can ever associate with anybody else. tag five people to see what theirs would be.

i was tagged by @startofamoment @amystiago and @b99peraltiago thank you bbs💕

🌹Thunder Clatter - Wild Cub (Jake & Amy)

i mean do i really need to explain??? this song at the end of unsolvable is everything (PINING!JAKE) and now i cannot listen to this song without feeling emotional!! (see how far they have come!!😭💖) anyway i have a whole playlist dedicated to these two and this song always get me into the mood lol

🌹Express Yourself - N.W.A (Jake Peralta)

this song is also in b99 and it always reminds me of jake! this feels like something he will listen to daily?? like i can imagine he hyping up around the house to this song and whatnot (my jake peralta playlist has been a work in progress for too long ughhh)

🌹Impossible - Lyla Foy (Princess Carolyn)

k so i finished bojack horseman a month ago and im totally obsessed with it. and PC is such an icon and i love her with all her heart. and her story in episode say anything always breaks my heart, so yeah this song since then has become my favorite (to cry to)

🌹Panic - The Smiths (Frank & Amy)

from black mirror’s hang the dj remember a year ago i was totally fixated on these two (and desperately looking for jake and amy hang the dj AU lol) this song always makes me think of how this duo rebelled against the the system for 998 times to be together, i think that’s beautiful 

🌹You’re Still The One - Shania Twain (Harry Styles)

and kacey musgraves obviously. ok this duet changed my life and if you haven’t seen it you need to watch it now, thank me later 

i feel like a lot of people has been tagged in this and i lost track, so imma tag all the people who wanna do this and wanna share music with me💖

[artificialqueens]

Twist Of Fate - Ch05 - (Trixya) - katyahzamo

A/N: Fake instagrams for Trixie and Katya were made because I am that extra: click here for Trixie and here for Katya.

A reminder: Trixie is a hairdresser and Katya is a struggling photographer slash yoga instructor. Lesbian AU. Read the chapters on AO3 and/or come hang out on my tumblr katyahzamo. Comments are welcome and encouraged!

“I didn’t see you like this in a long time. Are you sure that last cup of coffee wasn’t too much for your skinny ass?”

Violet is sitting on Katya’s old couch, legs tucked under her elbow propped on the back, watching Katya come out with the fourth outfit that evening. It’s almost time to leave for the event and she has nothing to wear.

“Oh shut up. How long did it take you to look like that before you came over?”

Katya’s best friend is sitting there looking like a goddess, as always. Even in long, loose black pants her legs look amazing, and the emerald corset clings perfectly to her thin torso. With her hair pulled back in a ponytail, she looks effortlessly beautiful, and Katya doesn’t know whether she wants to bang her or envy her. Maybe a little bit of both.

“I literally just put on the first thing I found. But no, I’m serious bitch, since when are you obsessing over the color of your dress?” There’s a gasp then, making Katya turn away from staring herself in the mirror and back at Violet.

“Wait– do you have a date? Did Katya Zamo finally meet someone? You never go to these things. Is a girl making you go?”

Typical Violetta. She’s been set on finding Katya a girlfriend ever since they stopped dating each other in college, and at the same time discovering no one Katya dated was good enough for her. Violet was four years younger and they met in one of Katya’s art classes, hitting it off immediately. Their relationship was short, mostly sexual, and it ended up evolving into a friendship based on mutual understanding and never-ending support.

Violet believed in Katya when she went to rehab for her alcohol addiction post-college, believed in her when she had one dead-end, low-paying job after another, supported her when she finally bought her first professional camera and insisted Katya take all of her pro shots, despite photographers lining up to work with her. She was the first one who told her Sharon was a piece of shit who did not treat Katya right, and the first one who came running in the middle of the night when Katya called her after Sharon packed her bags and left.

Despite being hot-headed, arrogant and a bit of a narcissist, all qualities many people find off-putting, Katya loves her very much and knows her big ass heart is in the right place. Even though she’s not in town five months out of the year, she’s been Katya’s rock throughout the last year of her and Sharon’s relationship, and after it ended, too, even more so than Ginger.

“Fuck off, I don’t have a date. I just—I don’t know. I miss being around people and loud music. I miss going out with you, bitch, even though you always leave me for a threesome whenever we do.”

Katya wishes she had a date with her hot hairdresser, but wouldn’t say that out loud, for fear of having Violet on her case about it for the rest of the night. She’s already had issues not blushing when she told her that Trixie’s back and is the main reason her hair and bangs are short again.

Violet’s face falls in disappointment at the answer but takes a sip of her mojito and shrugs, not looking sorry at all.

“Girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. There’s going to be a lot of agency girls you know tonight, Fame, Shea, Naomi. They’re all coming to see Pearl’s set. She’s like this, huge DJ from the West Coast. I heard she even toured around Europe and Australia. The lesbians go insane wherever she goes.”

Katya laughs, discards another black dress and fixes her hair instead. She’s been walking around the apartment in her underwear for an hour and a half now, ever since she got out of the shower and blow dried her bob straight.

“You know lesbians love hot DJs, Vi. Didn’t you date one last year?”

“Yeah, I still have fond memories of her ass when I get lonely.”

Katya wheezes and smacks Violet’s knee as she passes by her and disappears into the bedroom again.

“Wait, I know!”

She hears Violet yell after her and hears her shuffling as she gets off of the couch and walks into the bedroom, pushing Katya a little bit to the side to take a look at her messy closet.

“Oh god.” Katya laughs, but lets Violet dig through her clothes and sits on the bed instead, watching her. It doesn’t take long for her to find what she was looking for, and soon enough she’s holding a lace bralette Katya hasn’t worn in years and a pair of black shorts to match – she is fairly sure Violet was the one who bought this for her birthday ages ago.

“Here, put that on. Do you still have those red shoes? You should get them and— this.” She pulls out a black lace see-through button up and puts it on the bed gingerly, grinning.

“You’re going to look smoking hot in that. Now hurry up, we’re going to be late for Pearl.”

.

.

.

The line outside of the club is huge – it stretches out for an entire block and Katya thinks that lesbians (and gay men, and everyone in between) are going insane over this Pearl girl. She’s curious to see her now and to hear her set, and at the same time nervous because Trixie is going to be there. When Violet went to the bathroom to touch up her makeup while still in her apartment, Katya spent five minutes staring at her own abs from all angles, exposed through the see-through shirt. She thanked yoga for keeping her in shape, and was actually a little impressed at how long her legs looked in the outfit Violet chose.

Once they parked the car and headed for the entrance, Violet saying they would let her in once they recognized her, Katya’s phone buzzed and she dug it up from the little purse Violet made her carry with her.

Unknown: Hey Katya, it’s Trixie :D

Unknown: We’re already inside, table reserved close to the bar

Unknown: Bob put you and Violet on the list so just tell the bouncers

Unknown: See you soon!

The message is followed by a string of flower emojis and Katya showed the message to Violet, who grinned.

“Bob coming through as usual, I love that guy.”

Katya is too excited to tell her that it was probably Trixie who insisted they were put on the guest list, and says nothing until after they are let through.

“Violet! Katya! Finally!”

Pairs of hands grab each of them by the wrist in the dimly lit room, purple lights flashing to the rhythm of the music Katya has never heard before, and it takes her eyes a moment or two to adjust. She really should have just gone with glasses instead of her contacts, but Violet insisted. Katya is sure that her friend wants her to get laid tonight.

Two pairs of hands that stopped them belonged to Shea and Courtney, both from Violet’s modeling agency, both tall and gorgeous, and Katya is suddenly glad she dressed the way she did. They take turns in hugging both of them; complimenting Katya’s hair, Violet’s outfit and telling them they arrived just in time for the party.

“We were late because Katya took forever to decide on an outfit, so I ended up doing it for her.”

“Girl, you did an amazing job. Katya, you look stunning!”

She doesn’t remember Courtney having an Australian accent, mostly because they met only once, briefly, when Katya did a job with Violet and Fame several weeks before. She remembers Shea better, because Shea insisted on Katya joining them for lunch, saying she reminded her of her Russian girlfriend, Sasha, who was on a world tour traveling with her theatre troupe. Shea is the one complimenting her now, leaning back a little to take a good look at her outfit.

“Court’s right, you’re definitely giving me a Black Widow spy realness here. You should be in the photos with us next time.”

Katya’s laughing and waving her hands in protest.

“Hell no, I’m the one making art happen and I’d like it to stay that way, thank you very much.”

“I’m not sure about that, I bet you’d be a great model.”

“In Russia, maybe.”

“Well you know, you gotta start somewhere.”

They’re all laughing and for a moment Kaya forgets that she’s supposed to be nervous about Trixie. It doesn’t take them long to reach the bar and order drinks, cocktails for the three of them and a soda for Katya.

“Vi? I’m going to find Trixie and her friends, thank her for letting us know about the list. You coming?”

“I’ll come by later. Pearl’s set is starting soon and I really want to see her up close. If you know what I mean.”

Katya wheeze laughs, and Shea and Courtney join her too. Violet is known among her friends for having a thing for DJs and musicians in general, so having her at least flirt with Pearl sometime during the night would hardly come as a surprise to anyone.

“You can try, girl, but I hear she has a girlfriend she met on the road this year. Apparently they’ve been together since January.”

“Shea, since when has that stopped her from getting laid?”

Katya can hear them bantering about Violet’s sexscapades even after she walks away, making her way through the crowd, looking for one particular blonde head, her drink gripped firmly in her hand. She sees her before Trixie even looks her way, and reluctantly has to acknowledge the butterflies acting up in her gut again. Sweat is already forming on the back of her neck and she’s blowing the bangs from her eyes, praying that she still looks semi-decent, despite the stuffy air and nerves.

“Katya!” Their eyes meet just when the host walks on stage to announce Pearl, and Katya knows she has a very small window for conversation before the place erupts. “You made it!”

“Yeah, I tried! How are you?”

“I’m great, yeah. Katya, these are my friends, Shangela and you know Adore, right?”

Adore, yes, that’s the name of the girl who took the photo of her haircut back at the salon the week before.

“Hey girl, looking fine!” Adore yells over the host’s voice when she pulls Katya into a hug, which surprises her a little but she hugs back all the same. She looks young, younger than Trixie, and gives off a grunge vibe that Katya approves of immediately. Her voice is slightly drawn out; just as she remembers from the first time she met her.

“You too!” Katya says, aware that Trixie’s eyes are on her.

“Oh you’re the Atomic Bland girl they put up on Facebook, right?” Shangela hugs her next and Katya reciprocates. She is a tiny, compact woman with a blindingly beautiful smile and hair that reaches past her waist. Even in heels, she is smaller than Katya, but her energy definitely makes up for her height.

“Is everyone calling me that now?” Katya asks, eyes wide and grin wider, glancing over at Trixie.

“Hey, you came up with that yourself. I’m giving your brand the recognition it deserves.” Trixie shoots back, and Katya isn’t nervous anymore. This feels right, and easy, and she has not been this relaxed in a public setting in a painfully long time.

Any other attempt at communication is drowned by the crowd once Pearl walks on stage, and the club explodes with girls (and boys) everywhere shouting her name and whistling, making Katya wonder how on earth she never heard about her before. Not that she was necessarily immersed into the pop culture that much, not even the LGBTQ+ one, sticking to the 70s, 80s and early 90s obscure music, but every single person in this place seemed to know exactly who Pearl Liaison was, making Katya, once again, feel like a grandmother. As soon as the music starts playing, everyone rushes to the dancefloor, and judging by the genre, it’s easier to pinpoint why she didn’t know about her in the first place.

She left her tolerance for electronic music go when she graduated college and stopped drinking, but even she has to admit that Pearl is good. She commands the room so easily, and the way she holds herself reminds of days when Violet preformed burlesque, full of confidence and full of love for her audience. It helps that she is hot as hell, too, platinum blonde hair tied up into two buns on top of her head and makeup so good even under the harsh clubbing lights. It’s no wonder whatsoever why she’s so loved by every single girl in this place.

“Holy shit she’s good!” Katya yells over the music, leaning over to Trixie and Trixie nods, sipping on her vodka soda (or so Katya assumes), her hips swaying to the music a little bit.

“Girl, I wanna dance!” Adore yells from the other side of the table and Shangela agrees, taking her hand and pulling her into the crowd that’s somehow even bigger than it was five minutes ago. Katya wants to ask Trixie to dance too, but she is somehow still unsure how Trixie will react if she suggests it.

“Do you want to dance?” Trixie seems to be reading her mind again, and a slight shiver goes down her spine when she feels those pink lips so close to her ear, and Katya’s nodding without a second thought. They leave all of their things with the bartender that Trixie seems to know (who does Trixie not know, Katya wonders) and head to find either Adore and Shangela or Violet and the rest of her gang, Katya’s goosebumps permanent  when Trixie takes her hand and tugs her along.

They don’t find any of their friends and after a while they stop looking. This close to the stage Katya can barely hear herself think, which might be a good thing after all, seeing Trixie’s cleavage up close like this, pale, soft flesh glistening with sweat as she dances right across Katya with her eyes closed, feeling the music with her entire body.

Katya dances too, but her eyes don’t leave Trixie’s face looking angelic under the strobe lights that pulse with the music and the bodies moving all around them. She can feel the beat in her ears, her throat and deep behind her ribs, thinking briefly about how good dancing to this music must feel to people who took things stronger than alcohol tonight. It makes her sober ass exhilarated now; though Katya’s sure it’s not just the music making her feel this way.

Trixie’s long, blonde hair is suddenly in her face as she turns her back to her, hips swaying and slightly grinding against Katya’s front, and she has the urge to howl. There’s no reluctance in her fingers that move to grip Trixie’s hips, letting them guide her own steadily, and just when she thinks she might die and ascend to heaven, there’s a voice in her ear, yelling.

“Hey bitches, having fun?”

Trixie pulls away from her immediately, her face beet red from what Katya assumes is the heat, and Violet is grinning that teasing, shit-eating grin Katya recognizes very well.

“Where the hell have you been?” Katya yells back as loud as she can while Violet hugs Trixie, trying to appear fine and not turned on at all, but the look on Violet’s face tells her that she’ll have to go to the washroom and fix her face as soon as possible.

“Up front!” Violet yells back, her glare drilling inside Katya’s head, as if mutely asking what it is she interrupted just now. Katya blinks at her innocently, so she rolls her eyes and continues. “Fame and Naomi were asking for you, do you want to join us?”

Katya is tempted to say no but she doesn’t want to prompt Violet to ask more questions than she undoubtedly will the moment she catches her alone, so she looks at Trixie instead. Trixie is looking at Pearl who just switched the songs and smiled at the crowd, dancing to the beat of her own music, and then looks back at Violet.

“Sure! I have no idea where Adore and Shangela are, I’ll have to find them later!”

“Adore, the blue-haired chick? Yeah, they’re with us, she did Shea’s hair for the photoshoot this week!”

They make their way to the larger group, with a little bit of trouble, when the beat changes to something softer and easier to dance to. Naomi and Fame pull Katya into a hug and are introduced to Trixie. Soon after they are all dancing together, making Katya think how much she missed being surrounded by a lot of girls. A lot of friends, too, just having fun and not thinking about anything past that night. Trixie doesn’t come as close to her for the rest of the set.

At one point during the night and towards the end of Pearl’s set that has lasted more than two hours, half of the group breaks apart to get more drinks and retrieve Trixie’s, Katya’s, Shangela’s and Adore’s things from the bartender and move them to the models’ booth, half remains to hang around on the dancefloor, and Katya goes to pee and fix the makeup that is undoubtedly melting off of her face at this point.

She is aware that everything will hurt from all the dancing in the morning, but her mood has been at the all-time high for hours. She happily recalls a moment when Naomi wrapped her arms around her neck and danced closer to her than even Trixie did, and the way Trixie’s eyes followed their every single move, and the way she quickly looked away when she noticed Katya looking back.

Katya feels like she’s deaf once the ladies’ bathroom door closes behind her, and can feel her own pulse in every inch of her skin. Once in the stall, she hears the door open again and finds herself wishing it’s Trixie.

It’s Violet.

“So when were you gonna tell me you’re in love with Trixie Mattel?”

Here we go.

Violet’s perfectly shaped eyebrow is quirked, arms crossed on her chest as she leans on the bathroom counter, watching Katya wash her hands.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh bitch, you’re telling me that dry humping and eye fucking the entire night was nothing?”

Her words are slurred and Katya realizes that for those two hours she has forgotten that other people drink. Not needing to drink to have fun seemed like a possibility for the first time tonight after years of dreading of going back to places where she’s the only sober one. Trixie has been drinking the entire night too, even stumbled over Katya’s foot as she headed back to the bar.

“We’re just friends, Vi, it’s not that serious.”

“When was the last time you danced like that with me, your best friend?  I call bull. shit.”

Katya laughs at the whining tone and shakes her head, turning to face the other.

“Oh that’s what this is about. You’re jealous.”

She should know better than try to deflect. Violet probably knows her better than Katya knows herself, and is currently having none of it.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, honey. But I’d say you should definitely go for it. Now give me a hug.”

Katya holds the embrace for couple of moments longer and Violet squeezes her back before heading for one of the stalls.

“Are you okay by yourself in there?” Katya calls when she hears Violet fumbling with her pants on the other side of the door.

“I’m fine! I’ll go backstage to look for Pearl, she’s almost done. You go be with your girlfriend!”

Katya wants to protest but that’s a futile battle with a tipsy, determined Violet, so she just pushes the door and goes to find the rest of the group.

Almost everyone is sitting at the private booth, some of them on their phones, others talking to each other, and Fame is on some boy’s lap, laughing at whatever he’s saying in her ear. It takes her one look to notice that Trixie is not here, or Adore for that matter, so she sits next to Shangela who pushes a new bottle of Coca Cola her way.

“You okay, girl?” Shangela looks up from her phone and at her and Katya nods.

“You?”

“Oh yeah. I’m texting Adore’s girlfriend, Bianca, she’s on her way here to surprise Adore.”

Katya looks around to see that the majority of the crowd has gone back to their seats, only a handful most persistent ones still on the dance floor. DJ Pearl’s spot on the stage is empty now, the music coming from the speakers probably a part of a club’s regular playlist.

“Isn’t she a little late for the party? Where’s Adore anyway?”

She actually wants to ask where Trixie is, but if Violet saw right through her immediately, she doesn’t want one of Trixie’s friends to clock her too.

“Bianca’s a stand-up comedian, traveling around the country a lot this time of year, and Adore had no idea she’s back, she just flew in this evening.  That’s why it took her forever to come here. Adore’s probably outside, smoking. She’s found her weed friends so…”

Shangela motions dragging a smoke from the blunt and Katya laughs, thinking how she could use a cigarette too. She decides to stay to see where Trixie is and get her to go outside with her so they can talk properly.

Trixie doesn’t come back for a while, and Katya uses the time to talk to Shea who comes to sit next to her when Shangela goes to the bar to wait for Bianca. Shea talks to her about her portfolio, Shea’s girlfriend Sasha and her theatre troupe, yoga and everything in between. She has no idea how much time has passed when she sees Violet running in her high heels across the dance floor and hears a group of girls’ delighted screams when they spot Pearl coming from backstage right after Violet.

“That bitch.” Shea shakes her head, looking at Violet’s face when she struggles to pass through a group of Pearl’s fans, her eyes landing on Katya and she darts her way.

“Did you bang her backstage you fucking sl—“ Shea starts but Violet cuts her off with her hand raised as she squeezes into the booth besides Katya, sandwiching her with Shea on the other side.

“You’re never going to believe who Pearl is dating.” She says, but Katya isn’t listening or looking at her.

Katya is looking at Trixie who’s on the dance floor now too, phone in her hand, taking a photo of Pearl and two girls, all three of them raising two of their fingers in a ‘peace’ sign. The girls take the phone from Trixie’s hand and giggle, then walk away, and suddenly Pearl’s in Trixie’s personal space.

Katya doesn’t want to register what Violet is saying as she sees Trixie’s arms wrap around Pearl’s neck, she doesn’t want to acknowledge Trixie’s lop-sided smile or the way Pearl’s arms hug her small waist and pull her close. She feels heart (or is it bile?) rise up her throat when their lips meet and a round of ‘awwwwww’s erupts from the onlookers. She only barely registers Fame who came back and took a spot next to Shea and Katya looks away only when she hears her speak.

“Am I the only one seeing Pearl Liaison kissing Trixie Mattel right now?”

.

.

.

Katya is outside only moments later, and she hears a startled yell from her right, only to realize she’s probably banged the back door open. Outside, away from the music, it must have been loud.

“Katya, you scared the living hell out of me!”

Adore’s bambi eyes are big, and blood shot, but she’s smiling at her anyway and comes over to hug her tightly. Katya hugs her back hesitantly at first, but relaxes a little bit when Adore continues hugging her drunkenly, and for a full minute Katya thinks Adore might have fallen asleep on her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Katya rasps, surprised she didn’t throw up instead, rubbing Adore’s back gently and trying to blink away the image of Trixie kissing the most beautiful DJ in the world.

“Oh yeah, ‘m fiiiiiiine. A lil’ drunk.” Adore draws out and finally pulls back, the lack of her body heat leaving Katya shudder, and not entirely because of the chilly night air.

“You sure?”

“Mhmm. Just had a smoke with some people and had to stay, fresh air, all that. What about you? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“I’m okay, I just needed a smoke.”

Her hands are shaking as she lights up the cigarette after Adore refused one for herself, and her breath is shaky as she exhales the smoke, trying to remember any of the breathing exercises her past therapists taught her.

“Is Pearl done?” Adore asks, and Katya feels her stomach drop to her ass at hearing the name.

“Yep, just saw her with Trixie and the fans.”

Adore nods and blinks once, twice, and then her eyes widen in a delayed reaction. If Katya wasn't as pissed, or as miserable, she would have laughed.

“Ohhhhhh, right. You sure you’re okay?”

Several things happen in Katya’s head then. Adore is Trixie’s friend, she realizes, so she probably knew all this time that Trixie had a famous DJ for a girlfriend. It’s probably the reason all of them are here, because she knows Trixie doesn’t listen to electro, and Adore definitely doesn’t look like she listens to anything but Nirvana. They’ve all come here to support Trixie’s girlfriend, and Katya has made an ass out of herself, flirting with Trixie, and holding her hand and dancing close to her to the music Trixie’s girlfriend was playing.

The way Adore looks at her now makes her think that she has somehow clocked her feelings, because if Violet has done it, everyone else must have too, and now Adore feels sorry for her and Katya can’t stand it.

“Yeah, I’m good.” It comes out a bit sharp, and she feels bad about it immediately.

Her hand reaches out to squeeze Adore’s wrist gently, knowing the younger girl will forget all about Katya’s trouble as soon as she sees her girlfriend who’s somewhere inside, waiting to surprise her.

“You know what, Shangela was looking for you by the bar, she says she has something urgent to tell you. I think you should go back inside.”

“Really?”

“Yep. It’s good, I promise.”

Katya manages a grin and even a laugh as Adore hugs her one more time and practically runs inside. She’s a good person, Katya thinks, and good people deserve good things happen to them. What was that bad that she, Katya, put out into the universe for it to treat her this way, she has no idea.

Katya: I’m going home, I’m tired.

Katya: Can you pick up my stuff and bring it over tomorrow?

Violetta: heu btch, f cuorse

Violetta: r u k?

Katya: yeah, just tired. You ok with taking an Uber?

Violetta: ys

Violetta: gna go with Fame n Shea

Violetta: I’m sry

Violetta: fr Trxiie

Katya: Good. Talk to you tomorrow. Text me when you get home

Violetta: u to bitch

Violetta: love yuo

Katya feels like she will definitely throw up once she gets home. She fights to hold it back the entire drive back but once she gets back to her small, shitty apartment, all she can do is take off her boots and put her almost-dead phone to charge. She texts Violet only when she’s in bed, an hour later, having smoked half a packet of cigarettes and still fully clothed, staring at the ceiling and assuming she will never sleep again.

Katya: Got home safely. I love you too.