#one sells barbie dolls one sells clothes and one is like the barbie stores in real life

[percentstardust]

the thing about barbie is that she walks around wearing her accessories and clothes. even things not designed by her. it is her brand and she will endorse it always. she even sleeps in pajamas. she wears t-shirts with the barbie logo on it. it is her being a girl boss. it’s her saying this is MY BRAND. this is mine. i built it. i am going to let everyone know this.

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Meet Velvette📱🧶

Meet my take on Velvette! I had LOT OF FUN with this one! She’s reviewing Pentabucks newest drink!(being its top influencer can get you it for free!)

My Velvette’s more involved with social media/advertising/trends rather than owning all of Hell’s fashion indurstry. She’s basically a social marketer/influencer who uses her influence to support and advertise a lot of the overlords and high influence peoples businesses, products and services. She’s def still into fashion, I imagine she has something like a Bergdorf Goodmans, luxury end store and probably collabed with other fashion brands). I also see her own some fo the trendiest resteraunts, clubs, beauty salons, etc. def sewn herself into big brands!

I’ve heard she was suppose to be a doll because her pilot look mouth alluded a bit to stitching and wore frilly clothes.

so I ended up making her a rag doll! Doll’s are very popular to sell, especially to sell additional objects such as fashion, accessories, etc. Basically she sells herself out to the public eye 👁️. There’s also a bit of sewing terms that fits with social media such as “Pinned”, “Threads”, etc.🪡📍

And rag dolls are known for their adaptability(perfect for trend setting Vel)! I styled her outfit as a kinda tweaked modern outfit of Raggedy Anne/Andy’s outfit. The jumper and black booties. Restyled into a more flashy romp jumper and heeled boots 👢 Even made it to her name, VELVET!

Ngl many friends of mine have said she gives off Monster High vibes(I feel like 2000’s cartoons def inspired me). As well as Lalaloopsy!!!!!!! I was also a bit inspired by OG Millie’s outfit(love the double straps).

Put her in two shades of brown for a patchwork vibe! Another thing I’m going for with the rag doll theme is to allude to insecurity. I imagine she came from less glamorous origins. Didn’t have porcelain dolls like Charlie or plastic Barbies like all the other popular and rich girls, but simple rag dolls and stuffies. No matter how hard she tries to be like perfect porcelain or pretty plastic…she’s cursed to be seen as just some raggedy rag doll💔. I also imagine her death had something related to becoming…torn up(I imagine it wasn’t a pretty end)…

For this look, went with bubble braids made from balls of yarn 🧶 She has all kinds of hairstyles, from yarn, cotton, stitch on wigs and even real hair(from scalps of those who got on her nasty side, @a-sterling-rose suggested this). There’s even a type of hairstyle called “yarn braids”.

Wears fake nails 💅. Gel, acrylic, she’s made of cloth so she can adapt to any kind.

Gave her actual ears 👂 (added them on herself).

Clout Glasses 😎.

For her color scheme, @the-burd-lord suggested I'd go with RGB theme, colors on display screen(Vox is the leader and a screen) Ngl I was conflicted what colors to go with for the vees(Primary, Red blue purple etc). But then I realized when u mix those colors u get those other colors and then I decided to give the Vees two main color themes for each. One for show, the other their true colors! Velvette likes to use green, magenta and purple, for a visually pleasing vibe, light green and magenta for sweetness with purple/gold for luxury, but truth she’s a vain, envious clout seeker who has and will do less than ethic things for the likes. The two colors r also a mix of Val and Vox’s colors(uses them, advertises them to advertise herself!)

Played around with a assymetry color vibe for the envy vibe, thats she’s two faced 🎭. Having a deceptive social media personality like Miss Heed(less lovey dovey).

@lovesart23 video on Velvette really helped me consider what to do with her, like her beign Envy theme(she’s a clout chaser afterall). I LOVE her use of purples and greens for her! I also really dig the eye theme which mine in a sense does too. In this case, button eyes.

Added more weight on her a bit, to give off a more rag doll type body(especially with the limbs 🦾🦵)

Gave her black purple eyes with pink and mint button irises. Got Pin eyelashes 🪡📍

Her her a needle/selfie stick. Good for selfies, fashion emergency and stabbing people!

What do u think? I’d love to know💖

I’ve also done the Hazbin Gang, Mimzy, and even her associate, Vox 📺.

[setewbro]

It's honestly depressing to see fast fashion stores like Primark with entire Barbie collections. You know these clothes were made unethically. That while the movie can be praised by it's minimal feminism subject, women in the global south are not even being payed a living wage to produce Barbie merchandise.

I'm not even trying to be like "Oh, you, person who watched the movie and had fun is at fault" thats not a productive criticism. It just genuinely upsets me. So much Capitalism Realism. So much "feminism" while oppressing real life women. I think we should be angrier about how capitalism steals our struggles to sell them back to us and continue that very oppression.

I loved playing with barbies when I was a kid but everytime I think about this movie for more than 2 seconds I want to explode everything. It's not just a case of Barbie being propaganda movie to sell dolls. It's directly contributing to the oppression of women when they are the ones being exploited for us to be able to buy pink barbie tshirts. I hate these contradictions. Jesus Christ I need to eat breakfast.

[ghastlyfilters]

𝐇𝐂𝐒 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 !!

pairing(s): implied randy meeks, billy loomis, mickey altieri + stu macher x gn!reader

warning: none, though some hcs that i have written might be a little modern than others!

RANDY

• Idc what y’all say, this man is OBSESSED with Funko Pops.

• Honestly, I feel that he’s well aware of the fact that he has an interest for collector’s items.

• Bro.. he would squeal if you took him to places like HMV or Hot Topic.

• When he was informed that the Video Store (his workplace) would begin to sell some Funkos of infamous movie characters since that was literally the whole theme of the place, he died off. HE. DIED. OFF.

• Billy and Stu have occasionally dropped by to rent some more horror movies, also teasing him about the pops and telling the whole store it was a.. kink? More Stu’s bad way of putting it, shall we say..

“Can you take their clothes off?” Stu asked curiously.

Randy began to get flustered as Stu proceeded to take the small statue out of the box, knowing he’d get another harsh telling off if his boss found out it was Randy’s “friends” ruining stock.

“They’re plastic dumbass,” Billy remarked. “It’s practically molded onto their figure.”

“Can you guys please sto-”

Stu snorted. “Well you can take the clothes off Barbie dolls and shit like that, can’t you? They even have parts.. uh- you know?”

“Wha- no, these aren’t like that-”

Randy was cut off once again as Billy spoke up and wrinkled his nose in disgust at the taller male. “You really stripped the clothes off of dolls just to investigate when you were a kid?”

Randy and Billy both shared the same look as Stu grinned wickedly.

…

And then it came. “Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.” Yep. Classic Stu.

• Wherever this mf goes, he always ends up eating a bag of potato chips. Nor you or his friends know where he pulls them from, but he does, he just does..

BILLY

• There is so much I could say about Billy Boy here..

(He’d most likely tell you to go fuck yourself if you called him that. Well, depending on who you are lmao)

• If you are the kind of person who loves that shitty trending pop music, you are probably better off hanging out with Stu for the day. Because Billy HATES it.

• He’s not particularly into heavy metal, i’d say more grunge. Stu bullies him for it but gets an ass whooping later so, eh.

• If he gets woken up in the middle of the night, he’s one cranky fucker about it. This man prioritises his sleep. He almost broke the cable to the house phone after Stu kept calling him one night, complaining on how he couldn’t sleep and that he wanted to go somewhere. After Billy not being able to get back into dreamland, he gave in. Pretty sure Stu ended up choosing the McDonald’s drive thru, much to Billy’s annoyance.

(That shit happens way too often but hey, who doesn’t like late night drives?)

• Billy wants a piercing but at the same time, he doesn’t? He’s not sure if he can really commit to it or not, but he does think people with piercings are cool!

• Plus his Dad would probably kick him out over something as stupid as that. Billy would just tell him to get bent either way lol.

• He can be quite a germaphobe. Sick people scare the living FUCK out of him.

• You have a cold? Aw, pity. DO. NOT. APPROACH. BILLY. LOOMIS.

• Stu accidentally sneezed on him once and Billy literally felt his heart stop. He showered about three times that day.. maybe more? Fuck knows, man.. 😭

MICKEY

• Something about him and the song Paparazzi.. IDK WHAT IT IS BUT IT JUST.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

• He’s very open about his opinions, as we all know. If you dissed his fav movie or TV show, bam bam bitch he’s gonna answer you and he ain’t gonna be so fucking nice about it.. 🫡

• Literal Beyoncé stan. I swear whenever her music is playing and y’all are at a party, he def wants to have a lil boogie with you.

• Mickey is the one person you know to have a weird, WEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIRRRRRD obsession with black coffee..

HE LOVES IT A LITTLE TOO MUCH, YK?

• You, Mickey and Randy were all out at the mall once and some little girl ran up to him saying he looked like Edward Cullen?

Randy just had no idea how kids had the balls to say whatever the fuck they wanted, meanwhile Mickey didn’t know whether to take it as an insult or not..

“Vampires who sparkle like a fucking Hello Kitty sticker? Wow, new name for ya, Mick..” You giggled.

• Really spoiled, bratty girls with all their designer gear is a big no no for him, he just hates them.. 😭

• You catch him watching all the true crime documentaries. He even has books about America’s most popular serial killers. TONS, of books.

STU

• This man, THIS MAN RIGHT HERE FOLKS!!

• Stu is literally every personality combine. Like a lab experiment gone wild, honestly.

• He asks you the weirdest questions sometimes. They are so random and beyond unexpected lol.

“Wait, do you think clowns can also honk their di-”

• Stu has the most ridiculous obsession with boobs. Randy now calls him the titty monster anytime Jamie Lee Curtis shows up in the horror movies they’re watching.

• He was BORN a dog lover.

• Annoys Billy anytime he gets a new girlfriend.

• I can picture him eating anything blue raspberry flavoured he can find. CANDY GOO, BLUE SOUR PATCH KIDS, YOU NAME IT😭😭

• Has the best snack cupboard no one else can compare to having in their house.

• He’s the kind of guy to stick his tongue out to kids in public just so he can get a giggle out of them!

• Loves it when him and the gang go out to the cinema. Which is more often than you’d expect.

• Has like, the LONGEST list of cinema snacks when y’all are paying to get your food.

these men all have their differences, but all expect one thing. THEY BE FINE AS HELLLLLL (anyways, hope you enjoyed this little list of hcs i have for my favs. HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!!!! :D

[starseneyes]

Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 10

"The List" Or, as I like to call it, "Lucy has the giggles".

Y'all, this one SLAYED me, and I can't wait to jump in with you!

SPOILER ALERT: This Meta will spoil every delicious second of this episode and reference past material from the show (and will majorly spoil the end of the film Serenity. Sorry about that). Please proceed with extreme caution... or don't, if you are ready to be spoiled.

Shall we? Let's get things started!

Fashion Barbie Runway Show

Look, I had a couple Barbies growing up. And while they weren't my favorite toys, I understood the draw of dressing up your handsome Ken doll and fashionable Barbie in fun outfits. And, let's be honest, Barbie always had more variety than Ken.

So, it seems fitting that Lucy and Tim are struggling to choose the perfect outfit for their last first date ever.

Yes, I said it. Tim and Lucy are on an Endgame path, and they are completely aware of it.

Anyway, we see Lucy pull up every significant outfit she's ever worn around Tim (special shout out to the costume department for keeping those around and not selling them off, yet). There's the double date dress, the dance dress, and later the green dress from Lopez's wedding. It's a feast for Chenfordians.

SIDE NOTE: And we have to talk about Tim's bedroom. The crew put a lot of thought into it. Remember, Tim's been married before, and got to keep all the furniture. So, everything matches in tasteful, boring beige (as compared to Lucy's flamboyant, color-filled apartment).

I love that Tim has slippers. I don't know why that detail made me so happy (and the clothes sticking a little haphazardly out of his laundry basket in the closet), but those details help paint a side of the man we've never really seen before. Domestic Tim.

Tim's going through a smattering of the exact. same. shirt. in seventeen colors. And, look, I'll give him props that he has some variety in color to match whatever his date's wearing, but it's terribly on-brand to me for Tim to find the shirt that works and run with it.

Plus, this MUSIC!? "I was overthinking. Are we linking?" Tim and Lucy are definitely overthinking.

Side Note: I am LOVING how they are both tossing the discards on the bed rather than re-hanging them. Because they are so indecisive that they can't bring themselves to completely rule something out, even if they tell themselves that's not the one.

And Tim with the store-bought hangers that he never replaced? Because he probably thinks they're, "Perfectly fine hangers"? I was rolling.

Tim's finally had enough and he picks up the phone to dial Lucy.

Watch. Lucy's. Face.

Girlfriend knows she is taking forever to pick her outfit. She opts for the lie.

"Hi. I'm almost there." "No. No, you're not."

Look. At. Her. FACE! Look at that glee on her face. Because he knows her. She doesn't have to lie to him and worry what he'll think or how he'll react.

"No. I'm not. Sorry. Um, are you?" "No! Uh, look, does this restaurant have a dress code?"

See that twinkle in Lucy's eyes? It's the same twinkle when she laid hands on Tim's radio a few episodes back when he was newly single and she was about to be. Lucy's quickly cooking up a plan.

"Uh, no. I mean, you could wear cargo shorts, if you wanted."

Evil, evil girl. But, oh, how I love this. We're seconds into their first conversation of the night, and they are establishing right away that Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy.

Yes, they're adding a layer to their relationship, but the underpinnings that have been so painstakingly stitched together over the past five-ish seasons remain.

"Really?" "Yeah, I mean, what does it matter as long as your comfortable?" "Nice try." *giggles*

Did. You. Hear. Her. GIGGLES?!

I know I'm pausing a lot on this Meta (and we're about a minute seven into screentime), but that's because this is so insanely delicious that I can't help myself.

I'm the girl who watched in agony hoping for Janeway and Chakotay to have an open-ended end to their romance only for the show to hook him up with 7of9 at the eleventh hour. Besides Mulder and Scully, that was my first major ship. And, to be honest, both left me with some serious trust issues.

So, I went into this episode hoping I would be wrong about so many things. And, folks, I was wrong about so many things. But, we'll get to that later.

Right now, our girl Lucy Chen is giggling because she tried a "gotcha" and he called her on it. And she is so relaxed in this moment that she can embrace the giggle without worrying about any of the boundaries.

Though there are physical boundaries in place (we'll get to those later), the emotional boundaries have completely come down. They're flirting. They're teasing. And it's all out in the open (at least between them) without restraint.

This is unhinged, untied, undone Tim and Lucy from an emotional standpoint. And it's f'ing beautiful.

Also, can we talk about Tim Bradford? I mean, we've seen him happy in relationships, before, but have we ever seen him beaming like this? I don't think so.

"That was clearly a test, and you should know better than to test the master."

Lucy's face is pure, "Yup, that's my boyfriend. He thinks he's so fly" and I am here for it!

Also, Tim in Gold Toe Socks?! I'm fairly sure that's what he's wearing, and that little detail of having super durable, super comfortable socks is so bloody Tim. We don't usually get to see his socks, and I LOVE these little details.

"What are you wearing?" "Yeah, uh, I don't know, yet. But I do have a lot of outfits that I am not going to wear. So..." "Look, well, we are running low on time. Traffic's getting ugly."

Oh, Los Angeles, how I detest your traffic. I once flew into LAX and my ride was two miles away when I called them from the street. Two miles.

One hour later they picked me up. I kid you not. Los Angeles traffic is some of the worst I've ever seen. I remember we went into the office (one of my clients) and it was a ten mile trip that took almost two hours. I am not built for LA traffic, and Tim's line sent a shudder of remembrance down my spine.

Lucy, my lady, it's time to pick a damn dress.

"Yeah, totally. I, it's silly, I just need to make a decision... Ah, yes! The green dress. It is decided."

It was the dress she wore the first time he asked her to save a dance... the first time she had the flicker that he was interested in her as anything other than a fellow officer and former boot. This dress holds significance between them, and it'd be lovely to rewrite its history so it's no longer the dress she wore when Jackson was murdered, but the dress she wore the first time she went out on a date with Tim Bradford.

"Great. Well, I'll see you soon."

He's imagining her in that dress. Remembering her in that dress. He couldn't help himself, even back then. He'd drank in every move of her hips, every hug of fabric against her skin as it swished toward her.

You can see that smile, again. The dazzler. He's dazzled by her, and they aren't even in the same room. That's the power this woman has over him. And he's done resisting its pull.

"Okay. Bye."

She hangs up on him and the music is soft, gentle, hopeful.

Then... nope. She yeets another dress onto the pile and we're back to square one.

The Most Romantic Restaurant in Town

Look, I don't know if this was the director or the script, but sweeping in on all those couples, and the flower arrangements, and the hanging, but dimmed lights? This is a couple's place. This isn't where you take your work friend for dinner. This is where you take your future wife.

And Tim's brought his future wife. But, oh, the boy is feeling awkward now that they're finally out together. Tim sneaks a look at Lucy and she chuckles. She can feel his unease.

"It's good bread." "Yeah. It's such a nice assortment."

Y'all. The Rookie team... we see you! We see you calling out the fan-created Crumb-o-Meter that made my first episodes watching this bloody ship all the more delicious. If you wanted us to know you're stalking our psychotic, borderline-obsessive *ahem* tweets and posts... message received. We'll keep up the good work!

But, seriously, in this moment the awkwardness is on point.

Transitions in life are tough. I'll be honest that with most of my boyfriends, I dove in. With Ernie, he asked to kiss me and we dated for two months (before he dumped me on my birthday over the phone the week of prom). With Sean, he said there was something between us and kissed me in his kitchen. That relationship lasted two weeks because he was moving away.

And before the summer ended, I was locking lips with Travis—whom I'd just met—and I dated him for over a year before realizing we had absolutely nothing in common and I was a stooge for jumping in without taking stock of the situation, first.

So when I met Matthew in the middle of my breakup with Travis... I wanted to do it differently. We spent the summer getting to know one another as friends. I took a romantic relationship completely off the table. Through emails (yes, email), AIM messages (I know... totally dating us), and group dates, I got to know him better and better. We had a budding friendship by the time we finally started dating.

Not the three or so years of Lucy and Tim, but I knew there was something different about my relationship with Matthew from the go. We took everything slower. And I'm so glad we did. It gave me time to savor every second.

Lucy and Tim both know that this is different, and there's a level of awkwardness there as two friends attempt the transition.

"Why is this so weird? We've eaten together literally hundreds of times." "Because our other meals only ever had the promise of being shot at afterwards, you know, not naked time."

I have to be honest with y'all, I did not see Tim saying that. This line leaked early via a journalist with an advance copy (so saying that it "leaked" isn't exactly true since it's the journalist's job to hype up the fanbase). But the journalist didn't attribute the line to either of them. I was shocked to find this came from Tim.

But in the face of the awkwardness they're feeling, it makes sense that he would be searching for words and land on the least romantic ones, God bless him. (Yes, this might seem like a variant on "God bless his heart" but, trust me, in the South they are two very different things. I truly feel for the guy!)

"Naked time? Please, I mean, we've seen plenty of naked people after we ate." "That's not what I-" "No. No. No. I know. I know. I know. I feel like I might... I might just need you to reset your expectations a little bit. You're not going to see me naked for... a while."

I have to stop this here for a couple of reasons. One, Lucy touches Tim's arm when she's saying, "I know". We watched in 5x08 where she struggled not to touch him when they were sitting together outside. Here, on their date, she isn't shying away from that. There's an ease between them, even as they're discussing what might be considered a delicate topic.

Two, I love the way that Tim smiles with her after "a while". There's an ease to it. I can see him having some naked time expectations after she bloody invited him in when they were both seeing other people. But he's listening to her, and he's accepting what she wants wholeheartedly, without question.

So, I don't think Tim was unreasonable in his thought process, originally. However, what I love about this is what happens next.

Also, I love the way that Tim reacts the same way he did to Chris saying he wanted Tim's thoughts—surprised, but ready to listen. It's those little details of this reset that mean so much to me.

"I mean, I don't want to rush into that. I wanna take things slow... go on this date, maybe a second date, have our first real kiss. I just don't think we should jump into bed together just because we know each other so well. Right? I mean, do you?" "No, I... Agreed."

I'm puddling on the floor right now. Y'all, you don't know what consent means to me. I have too many stories for this Meta (y'all'd be running away from me so fast because I wouldn't get to the Chenford for another six pages or so if I got started). But, as a victim of abuse, this is so important to me.

Lucy is setting the expectations here for her and Tim. And he's accepting and agreeing to them without question. This is how it should be, people.

Also, Lucy starts with telling Tim that he's not going to see her naked for a while, but she's also simultaneously telling him that someday he will. This isn't a short-term thing for either of them, and she's making that abundantly clear.

The one thing about Tim is that he knows about all of Lucy's previous relationships (save Nolan) that have happened during her time as an Officer. He knows that with Emmett it was all physical, basically. With Chris, they were "great together" but there was no substance. He's seen how she treats relationships, and, honestly, she hasn't done it with the greatest care or eye toward longevity.

In this speech, Lucy isn't only defining parameters for their physical/sexual relationship. She's also subtly communicating to Tim that she wants to put care into this relationship. She wants to build it up together, the same way they have their friendship. Lucy is telling Tim, "I'm in this for the long haul".

Watch his face just before he says, "Agreed". It's about more than just agreeing to what she's saying, and offering her that much-needed affirmation. It's about making their first major decision together as a couple.

She didn't have to ask him to chime in. Her body is her body and her choice. But she wanted to know that they were on the same page, and he had the opportunity to show her that he is.

In a long-term relationship, communication is the most important binder. Romance is great, but sometimes when you have flames coming out of your ears, you're not that interested in stolen kisses. Passion is great, but when you're cowering on the floor, breaking in half over tragedy, it won't get you anywhere.

Solid communication is the most essential building block to a relationship that lasts. And in this scene, Lucy has told Tim that's what she wants with him, and he knows enough to realize what she's saying beneath the words.

Lucy's face is filled with the same consternation as it was on "it's not worth the risk". She's worried how Tim's going to react. And both times, he reassures her.

It's so brief, so brief, but watch Lucy's eyes after he agrees (and this is all Melissa O'Neil). She's relieved.

As soon as they started talking to one another instead of making small talk, they returned to what has made them great all along—their foundation of understanding one another deeply, and not being afraid to call the other out, or reset the expectations.

Watch the awkwardness evaporate with that… It's the lack of communication that put them on edge. Well, almost all the awkwardness.

"Are you worried someone from the station's gonna walk in?" "What?" "You are!" "No, I-" "Wow." "What are the odds?"

I love this so much. Lucy's calling Tim out, and he's actually a little embarrassed. It's adorable. Tim and Lucy have completely gotten over the awkwardness.

Just in time for... I'm sorry. Are you for real? Seriously? I was just enjoying this adorable couple and y'all couldn't wait for the guests to leave for the night before having it out in the kitchen? Yes, the kitchen is a volatile place, but these two are dating here! Ya know?

Fine. Fine. Have your bloody knife fight. But did anyone else notice how Tim really really didn't want to get involved? He kept hoping for an outcome that wouldn't require them, but the second that dude grabbed the knife, Tim whipped out the gun and badge while Lucy went for a cloth napkin for the wound.

Truly, these two are a power couple, already!

"What are the chances someone from the station walks in now?"

And, too fast for real life (but perfect timing for the joke), the blue and red lights catch Tim and Lucy... red and blue handed.

Look, these two have got to stop racking up reports with both of their names on it when they're not supposed to be together. First Lucy's apartment when Chris was bleeding out, now the restaurant attack.

What on earth will Angela have to say to Timothy now!? (please, please let us find out, soon!)

And what is with these two and knife-attacks-to-the-arms ruining their moments? It's not a good trend.

But can we talk about Lucy's dress? YOWZA! When she stood up and I saw all the amazing back cut outs in addition to the front, I just thought, "Wow, Melissa O'Neil is FIT" and "Lucy looks incredible on this date".

Tim's no slouch, either! The patterned shirt he went with was the best thing in his closet we saw, and I'd kill to have a stomach as flat as Eric Winter's. Well, not kill. I don't want to be arrested while commenting on a cop show. That'd be a little too on the nose.

Before We Move On: I have seen a lot of feedback on the interwebs of people accusing Lucy of inconsistency between 5x01's "Do you want to come in?" and 5x10's "I want to take this slow."

First off, a human being can change their mind about a situation at any time and it not be considered a character flaw or "out of character".

Some nights I'll tell my husband, "As soon as the kids go to bed, you are mine" but by the time the kids go down, I'm too tired to move, let alone engage in "naked time". Does my husband accuse me of being an inconsistent character? Hell, no!

Listen, you can always change your mind about wanting or not wanting sex. We need to get rid of the mindset that if you were hot and bothered one time you're supposed to be permanently hot and bothered, or you're a tease or something. It's an insane way to interpret the situation.

Secondly (yes, I'm finally getting back to the Chenford), Lucy in 5x01 didn't know Tim was emotionally invested. She knew he was physically attracted to her, and she decided to take a leap in the moment. To live in that moment based on the information available.

Even when she's confessing in 5x08 that she's afraid of leaving her "safe" relationship for Tim because it could ruin the most important relationship in her life, she didn't know how he felt.

Yes, she is the one who shut down that talk in 5x01, but that's because she was assuming instead of listening and letting him finish. And assumption is when these two get in trouble (see "naked time" above).

So, in the fullness of her new knowledge, Lucy has made a different decision. She knows that this is endgame as much as he does (though I think he's still so surprised to see Lucy so at ease with all of it considering her history of keeping guys at arms-length after her ex cheated on her while she was living with him).

And it's perfectly okay to change your mind. Lucy changed her mind. Tim amended his expectations to match her wishes because when he does make love with her, he wants her to give herself fully with no trace of anxiety or fear holding her back. He wants her to feel completely cherished, and loved, and he'll wait until the moment she is ready. That is the magic of the moment.

Lucy Chen said, "Not, yet" and Tim said, "Understood. I'm not going anywhere" without saying so many words.

Tim went in with the knowledge that she twice jumped him (girl can be thirsty/assertive), and that she once invited him in.

It was definitely a possibility that they were getting naked after this romantic dinner. He was looking forward to peeling that skin-tight dress right off of her.

But the second she said that wasn't the plan, he rolled with it. And that's sexy as hell.

"This is not strange. Coworkers eat together. It's a thing." "At the most romantic restaurant in town?" "Right."

Our intrepid duo is scrambling. Lucy was making fun of Tim's paranoia over them being caught together, and within thirty seconds they were caught together.

And now it's the fallout. Before, there was no obligation to tell anyone anything or come up with a cover story. Now, they have a choice to make.

And I need to shout out to the director and DP for the staging of this scene. I love Tim and Lucy in their little spot, slightly removed from everyone else, and the sweeping shots where the noise picks up of the chatter of their fellow officers.

The fact that they have Tim and Lucy backed against the wall (heh) means that nobody can cross behind them, and the camera's positioned so we don't have people crossing in front of them. It allows us to focus on them singularly as a pair versus everyone else in the mosh-pit of police work.

"Well, I mean, we could come clean."

Watch Tim's face. It's not that Lucy's had to hide her previous relationships (besides Nolan... and I keep hoping Tim knew something at the time and didn't say anything because he doesn't want to talk about personal stuff in the Shop). But, Lucy's not one to bring dates to events and whatnot.

They've been on one half-date that was interrupted by an assault that resulted in an arrest. And Lucy's talking about letting everyone know that they are officially a couple. That's huge.

Tim can't believe what he's hearing. And even if it's not the right decision right now, it says something to him about how Lucy sees this... that she's not letting one botched date get in the way of them. She's not going anywhere. For goodness sake, she was the first to make them a "we" here!

But... still... there are some issues with coming clean.

"Are you ready for that? Are you ready for Smitty's commentary on us dating or the "ohs" every time we walk into the roll call room together?" "Or, we could lie."

Oh, honey, no. Look, you're a killer UC. We know that. But, when it comes to the people you know and love, you are a terrible liar.

My mind immediately flashes back to Season 1. "You're good at a lot of things. Lying isn't one of them." "You think I'm good at things? Can I get that in writing?"

Like, Lucy, honey. Nooooo. Let Tim do the lying for the both of you. He lied to himself for ages about how he felt. He's a much better liar.

And, to clarify, I understand why they feel they need to lie right now, and it's their relationship. But Lucy shouldn't be the one talking when they do it.

"Uh, yeah, we were there, uh, investigating a tip and then this whole other crime popped off." "Yeah, Lucy's C.I. was convinced they were dealing drugs." "What?" "What?" "Nothing."

Maybe neither of you is good at lying. Yikes.

"Boss wants to see you. Have a safe one."

Oh, Nolan, you don't even realize how scared these two are of walking into that office.

And, I must say that I was wrong, again. Look, folks, I admit when I'm wrong. It's hardwired into who I am because of how I grew up. When this scene dropped, I thought something might be missing, but now I see it was the way they edited the two shot to alternating one-shots that made me think I was missing something.

So, The Rookie, 2. Rachel 0. (and I'm going to lose again, at the end. Stay tuned!)

Tim holds the door for Lucy as they make the transition. I saw on Twitter that Eric Winter insisted on this, and looking back at their relationship, there have been several other instances where Tim has held the door for Lucy. So, this is absolutely in character, and I love that EW insisted upon it. Those little details make the character.

"I think you know how I feel about coworkers dating."

Yikes, Grey! Not even letting them settle into their stances before ripping the band-aid off. And, yes, I'm creating this commentary based on my first time watching the pan-and-scan version of this scene from Twitter.

Because, Rachel was not prepared.

Tim and Lucy glance at one another. Here we go.

"When I started, no one thought much of it. But things have changed. We're more aware of how power dynamics can skew things. Even the most innocent of relationships can be a distraction."

Watch Tim's hand slip off his watch as he fidgets. Tim can be very controlled, and very good at hiding his emotions. But I don't think he was ready for this conversation this soon. Lucy resettles over and over, pressing her lips together as the listens.

And this two-shot is so much better than the split screen they had to do for Instagram formatting. I love seeing the two of them together, united, but mirroring one another's positions while facing Grey—the authority figure behind the desk.

Right now, there's an inequality between Grey's position and theirs. Tim and Lucy are unable to sit and he is permitted to sit and lord over them, like royalty. Grey is the final word, and he's staring down at two very nervous officers.

"Hey, trust me, I get it. We spent 12 hours a day together. Feelings are bound to develop."

Tim looks over to Lucy. She feels his gaze and looks back.

"But we can't afford even the hint of impropriety." "We couldn't agree more."

"We". There it is, again. Some people put a lot of weight into this, wondering if Lucy is afraid that Tim is going to break it off. But I don't think that was ever the issue.

They both know eventually they won't be able to work together as they have... it's impossible. But they want this to last as long as it can.

Tim is saying "we" couldn't agree more. Not "I". Lucy doesn't have to worry about him giving up on her. But I think she knows he's willing to do whatever it takes for something he believes in—and he believes in them.

"Good. Look, I don't want to be the old guy interfering with peoples lives, especially their love life, but this whole Aaron and Celina situation has me worried." "The Aaron and Celina situation."

Tim's surprised face is adorable, but Lucy rolls with it fairly well. They turn to look out at Aaron and Celina. As they do, the camera shifts to a three shot, Grey now standing behind them. They're on a more level playing field, here, flowing with the scene.

Gosh, I love Robert Bella's style as a director. He really lets the camera breathe with the script. I haven't been this excited about a television director since Robert Duncan McNeil started working on Chuck after debuting as a director on Star Trek: Voyager.

Lucy sneaks a glance at Tim, trying to gauge his response before they turn around. He finally meets her eyes with a quick, "Well, that was close" look as they turn back to face Grey.

And, look, I think Grey is on to them. He's not a fool. But, he's also outlining a lot of thoughts in this scene, if we try to see it as him sending them a message.

He's not saying don't date. But he does remind them of the power imbalance (Tim's her SO and a Sergeant). Yet, he calls out the need for Aaron to establish his reputation and for Celina to get through her Probationary period without distractions.

Tim and Lucy will have to deal with their power imbalance.

"Oh, the irony." "Are you gonna talk to Aaron?" "About his love life? Can't wait." "When are you gonna talk to Celina?" "I can't tell her not to date a cop. That is so hypocritical. Oh, I'm gonna get Nolan to do it." "That's cheating." *giggle*

This whole exchange makes me so happy. Here are Tim and Lucy operating as a duo, tasked with a job, and Lucy finds a way to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Tim's "That's cheating" hearkens back to every bet they've ever made.

The subtitles have Lucy saying "mm-hmm", but I swear the first time I heard it (first thirty times I re-watched the scene), it was a giggle. I'm going with giggle.

Because this is the episode where Lucy has the giggles.

"You and Celina dating?"

And Tim, with the subtlety of a Rams fan at a 49er's bar on game-day, reminds us why there's no personal talk in the Shop. Tim's really bad at it.

I'm not going to transcribe Aaron's full response, but I love the way it set Tim on edge. I've talked, before, about how Eric Winter is one of those actors who acts through his fingers and toes. Bruce Willis is one of those, too. Just watch his feet in the early scenes of Die Hard. It's beautiful.

So, when Aaron starts talking about direct reports in a not so subtle hint that he knows all about those types of relationships, Tim gets nervous. It's not that he's afraid of being found out. But the more he's reminded of their biggest issue—one of them will have to leave.

And, don't get me wrong, the show'll probably find a way to work around that by taking Tim out of her chain-of-command but keeping him largely tied to the established team. But right now, Tim's fidgeting on the wheel.

And I swear when I watched it live I thought I heard the engine speeding up with Tim's anxiety.

"Remember this morning when dating in secret was our biggest problem?" "That feels like a million years ago."

Excuse me, ma'am, but isn't your camera on your chest recording everything you say!? I've always been worried about what they say near cameras, but Lucy's throwing caution RIGHT out.

"Did you talk to Aaron?" "Yeah." "And?" "He neither confirmed nor denied." "But?" "But he pointed out that it wouldn't be problematic because he's not her superior and doesn't fall in her chain of command." "Oh."

I get why they don't want to face it. Right now, they only see that as a separation. Those 12 hours a day where they've gotten to know one another, and have been able to see one another, and check on one another, and keep tabs on the other's welfare... gone.

It's a lot to lose even if they get to keep each other.

"Are you sure about this?" "I'm sure he's gonna kill her if we don't do something. Where's my distraction?" "It's ready and waiting."

I can hear Lucy in my head, "I don't like Plan B." But she understands that this is what needs to be done, and that this is their job. Sometimes, they have to put themselves in harm's way, and that a tragic occupational hazard.

But I love how this illustrates that they can still work together, even with the new layer to their relationship. Tim and Lucy are still Tim and Lucy.

"That's the signal."

And the trust that Lucy would be the one to hear the signal, and get everyone else ready to go. They've worked side-by-side for years. They have a natural rhythm there that's been earned. I totally understand why they don't want to lose that.

But it's inevitable... that day is coming. And neither can face it just yet.

"We both can't get out at the same time." "Okay, then you go first." "There's only room for one of us to be a hero, here, and I outrank you." "Sir, with all due respect, Lucy will kill me if I let you die, so I'm dead either way." "Get out of the Shop, Aaron!"

We've seen Aaron comment on the Tim/Lucy thing directly and indirectly, but this is flashing neon lights compared to those other times. He's basically saying, "She will literally murder for you, and I know it, and I don't want it to be me."

And I have to stop to applaud Aaron's ingenuity in finding a way to save Tim, too. Tim accepts his fate. He's military-trained, and he's a seasoned cop who understands the risks he takes every day.

But it wasn't his day to die, my friends. Not today.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't die."

This. Transition! I'm salivating over that transition from one scene to the next, through the glass. I'll admit, I'm a big fan of scenes that overlap and allow us to trade from one conversation to the next. It has always made me feel more like the world was real, and we were walking through it rather than bouncing around through non-stop scene-shifts.

No, you can't do this all the time. It'd become tired out. But, I love the choice, here. Again, I don't know if it was the writer, the director, or someone else who saw the opportunity and seized it, but I'm so glad they did!

"You owe me a redo on our date." "It's what gave me the will to live."

He's needling her. He's so needling her and it's so adorable. I know they have a lot of incredible scenes in this episode, but this one gave me all the feels.

This is secret dating era at its finest. Walking side-by-side and speaking words just for the other while knowing there's so much more going on under the surface. And I am here for it!

I love how he looks at her, waiting to see if he's going to get a reaction. Oh, she gives him a reaction!

"In my mind, I'm hitting you right now." "That's good to know."

Heart. Exploding. The cuteness!

PAUSE: Before we get to the end scene, can we talk about Nyla and James choosing Angela and Wesley to raise their daughter!? As soon as the conversation came up I was screaming at the television, "Pick Angela and Wesley!" And I'm so glad they did.

The power couples of The Rookie really got to show up and show out this week, and I wanted to acknowledge these four, too, even if they're not the focus of our Meta.

"I've been falling apart these days," says the music as we transition to a crane shot, establishing twinkle lights in trees (and those hanging bulb-style ones that I've been coveting for my new backyard ever since we moved in).

We sweep past the... is that a food truck!? Was I actually right about one thing in this bloody episode!? My only prediction that came true was that Tim and Lucy would try to have their date, things would go wrong, and they'd end up at a food truck. I'll take the win since everything else's been a loss for me, predictions-wise.

The Rookie 2, Rachel 1.

We sweep over to Tim and Lucy in the most casually-intimate (it's a thing) position with those high stools. Tim's got his let completely wrapped on the other side of Lucy's, and one of hers is crossed with a foot on his chair.

They don't wear fashionable clothes. Lucy's hair isn't styled. The conditions are less structured and more beautifully chaotic, like the twinkle lights dangling just shy of perfection—but no less perfect in that imperfection.

Tim and Lucy are at ease.

This is the heart of Tim and Lucy's transition. Before, they were trying to do it without all the information on the table, and within the confines of what they thought they needed.

Instead, they've found themselves in metal chairs exposed to the elements, facing the less-than-romantic view of a parking lot, and they couldn't be happier.

I must observe that they don't eat or drink a thing during this scene. The props are simply props, and I always find it fascinating when a scene calls for actual eating versus the implication of eating.

"Streets of Vietnam." *giggle* "That's where we ended up."

For some reason, the caption says "Treats of Vietnam" even though Eric Winter clearly emphasizes the "S" on "Streets".

But, if you're following along and hard of hearing or deaf, I wanted to make that clarification. His words, indeed, do match the signage on the food truck.

And Lucy is giggling, again.

"So, I guess this is our official first date." "Mmm, last night was. For sure. I mean, it's a better story for the grandkids."

Watch. Tim's. Face. He dated Ashley for ages before finding out she had no interest in marriage or kids—two things that mean a lot to him.

And Lucy, beautiful Lucy, is telling him on their second date that she can't wait to share this story with their grandkids.

And I've seen people say, "Oh, what happened to taking it slow?" Welp, you can be in an emotional place separate from a physical place, and that's just fine. She wants to savor every second of this.

This relationship is full of "last firsts". Last first date. Last first kiss. Last first time sleeping together.

If you knew that going into a relationship, wouldn't you want to savor every second? Really live in the moments to form lasting memories rather than rushing through?

"We've got grandkids, now." *giggle* "Nice."

Ooooh, the giggling has got me in a chokehold!

And I'm floored by the confidence Lucy has with Tim. Before, we saw so much hesitation from her in taking big steps, especially with Chris. Hell, I don't know that I recall her ever calling him her "boyfriend".

With Tim, none of that exists. Yes, they had some butterflies to get through in the beginning. But part of what makes this relationship work is how it has been earned and built.

They didn't start day one of their Rookie/TO relationship making moony-eyes at one another. They built layers over time, like the most beautiful crepe tower cake.

Yes, I know it's a weird metaphor, but I like baking shows. And the best part about a crepe tower cake is that you make each crepe one at a time before binding it to the others to form a stack. And sometimes the crepes aren't the prettiest. You might burn one a little. But it still goes into the stack, and it still helps build a beautiful finished product.

Tim and Lucy have built this relationship bit by bit. That's why everything rings true so effortlessly, now.

"Do not break into that car."

I. Started. CACKLING. Much as the cold open had me in stitches, this is the line that slays me every time. Crochety, worn-out Tim comes out on that line.

It's like, "Look, do you see this stunningly gorgeous, amazing, tough-as-nails woman beside me? I'd like to have one date, just ONE where I'm not pulling out cuffs for work purposes".

"Hey, moron!"

Foley artist, I love you. Or if it was recorded audio at the scene, I love whoever did that because even the SOUND of the metal clanging as the perp retreats had me in stitches. This was such a beautiful moment for so many reasons.

First of all, Tim is always going to be Tim. Thank God. I abhor when shows destroy the characters the second they get in a relationship (no, I'm not naming names... Metas make you squeel and laugh. We don't need the negativity, here).

Second, Tim just made the choice to be a man instead of a cop in this moment. Now, if it was a dangerous criminal, I'm sure Tim would have done something, as he did on their first date. But, for Tim "Supercop" Bradford to choose the girl... it's such a huge metaphor for what's coming.

Tim's job has seemed like the most important thing for so long, especially since he finally went after Sergeant, and continues to work despite being eligible for Retirement. But some things matter more.

Friends, Lucy matters more.

"You know, he's just going to break into a car in a different neighborhood." "Well, then some other cop can arrest him."

Pause. Just pause right here and look at Tim's face as he gazes upon Lucy. That twinkle is back in his eyes. And, yes, I'm aware it's probably studio lights set up for this shot. Don't ruin my magic!!

But Tim Bradford is finally looking into the eyes of a woman who will love him as much as he will love her. She will call him on his bullshit, care for his wounds, follow him into the fire, and stand by his side through whatever life throws at them.

They both knew that when they took this leap, they could never, ever go back. It's a constant plunge into the unknown, and with every level deeper they go, it only cements their bond.

Tim and Lucy were never going to work as friends-with-benefits, or a casual thing. They're Endgame. And they both know it.

He reaches for her face with his left hand. The same hand that wanted to hold her face the first time they kissed, but hesitated. He's telegraphing his moves and giving her space to pull back, to tell him to stop, to let him know she's not ready.

But Lucy is ready for this next step.

His right hand resting somewhere between her knee and thigh, the other hand tangling in her hair as he gently tugs her toward him, he leans in for their last first kiss—together.

And Lucy smiles before their lips touch, because this is so damn sweet. This is the beginning of yet another phase for them. And as they share that beautiful moment, we fade to black.

And here we have the last thing I was wrong about—the episode didn't end with Lucy covered in blood.

Look, I called the kiss (so I hope that balances things out a little), but I have a lot of ship trauma. For goodness sake, look at Wash and Zoe from Firefly/Serenity. He wasn't a leaf on the wind... he was a corkboard for the world's largest push-pin.

So, I was pleasantly surprised we faded out to black with our favorite couple intact and happy.

One thing that The Rookie has done really well with its core relationships is allowing them to face issues as a couple.

Nyla and James were rockstars at the bank, but they also worked through the very real issue of who should care for their child in the event of their death. That's something all parents grapple with.

And then Wesley and Angela working through the conversations of when (and whether) to add children to their family. I suffer from infertility, so all three of our children were planned for, prayed for, and provided by nice doctors with catheters and egg timers (I wish I was joking about that last part).

So whatever Tim and Lucy are going to face, I have confidence that they will face it together. They aren't going to suddenly stop communicating, break up, and date other people. This is Season 5B and as of yet, there's no assurance of a Season 6. It's the perfect time to cement them as a couple, explore the obstacles they overcome, and allow the fans to bask in the breadsticks (double breadsticks according to the Roll-o-Meter).

Because, y'all, we ATE.

As always, thank you for reading. This one was a lot of fun to watch and write. And, special shout out to my husband who let me squirrel away for the hour (which is right at our kids' bedtime) so I could squeal in real-time!

See y'all on the next!

[dollsonmain]

Stuff I Did Buy - expanded

Articulated bodies yay.

The 90's Barbie and the broken Basics doll (chunk of her neck is missing but oooo steffie face) were in a ripped-open bag. There probably were more dolls in the bag at one point but I didn't feel like looking at every doll that I wasn't interested in to find which ones did and didn't have price tags.

Very 90's mermaid. I don't know what her deal is, yet. I'm getting old and can't see the marks on their backs anymore.

My Goodwill has been bagging small toys lately so to get one thing I might want, I have to get the whole bag. Everything north of the yellow pony was bagged together. $3 for the Extra Mini (articulated body yaaaay) and a bunch of other stuff that's going right back to Goodwill.

I wanted the fancy fakie but she didn't have a price tag, so I found a bag of other things that was ripped open and shoved her in. The purple and yellow fakies were in there, too. the pink one with the ice cream butt had it's own sticker. That one kind of reminds me of Strawberry Shortcake dolls.

That yellow electronic pony stinks.

Some weird-ass, flat backed rubber dolls with rubber clothing. Or soft vinyl. I don't know. I haven't been able to make myself touch them, yet. I know I'm not going to like it.

I moved a toy there and touched tape residue and about died.

And a bin that I didn't want, but there were no carts even though the store had only been open for 20 minutes.

I can always use a bin, though, so don't feel bad about it. They sell Dollar Tree bins for $3... This is not a Dollar Tree bin.

I had gone for yard work pants and didn't find anything that I could justify destroying when someone else might need them and could use them. Then I went to Walmart and looked at those men's work pants that are $40, but when I held a pair with a too-big waist up to my thigh, the leg couldn't even get halfway around.

Got some $10 lounge pants instead. Might end up wearing them to lounge in instead of for yard work..... I've gotten too big for a lot of my other lounge pants.

[sissy-feminized-into-ballerina]

Sister’s Reaction

“What’s that? My little brother’s secretly been playing dress up whenever he thinks he has the house to himself?

You’ve been dressing up in my clothes?

Wearing my knickers?

Stretching my leotards?

Now that I’ve discovered your secret you hope I’ll go clothes shopping with you?

You want me to start calling you Amy?

You hope I’ll treat you like a real sister?

You want me to use she/her pronouns for you?

All the time?

You’ve known you wanted to be a girl since nursery?

You’ve been building up a collection of girls’ toys and clothes for years using the pocket money from your paper round?

You would like me to show you how to apply makeup?

You want to paint your nails?

You want to grow out your hair?

When that’s done you want me to show you how to braid it?

You hope mum will accept you as her second daughter rather than her first and only son?

You think your male friends at school and on the football team are rude and mean?

You won’t mind losing them if they don’t accept you?

You hope mum will agree to transfer you to an all-girls school?

You hope they will let you wear a girl’s uniform?

Including a gingham pinafore dress in the Summer?

You hope you’ll make new friends at your new school?

After 4 years on your current school’s football team you want to throw that all away so you can join the local ballet studio with your big sis?”

You want to donate your cleats and other football gear in general to Goodwill so a real boy can appreciate them?

You want me to take you to the dancewear store in town where I can use my loyalty card to get you great discounts on leotards, tights, slippers and tutus?

You want me to hold your hand when we enter for reassurance in case someone is mean towards you?

You adore the blue leotard I’m wearing but hope to find one of your own in pink?

You intend to use all your saved-up birthday money on buying the biggest, pinkest tutu the shop sells?

You’ll practice your dance moves everyday rain or shine until you’re good enough to take part in the studio’s dance recital later this Autumn?

You don’t mind that this will involve dancing in public in a tutu?

Possibly in front of your old friends if they’re there to watch their own sisters perform?

You hope I’ll invite you to my friends’ next sleepover party so you can get to to know them?

You don’t mind that you’ll be the youngest one there meaning you’ll be treated like the group doll?

You think you can convince the older girls there to watch girly cartoons with you?

You’ve been getting up super early recently so you can watch episodes of Sofia the First while we’re all fast asleep?

Your favourite episode was the one where she met Snow White?

Snow White’s your favourite princess even though you haven’t seen all the other Disney movies yet?

You want to make sweeping changes to your bedroom upstairs?

You want to repaint your bedroom walls pastel pink?

You want to stick floral decals onto them?

You like the funny shape of your racing car bed but want to replace your current F1 racing stripe sheets with a Snow White comforter set?

You want to cover your new bed in soft animal toys so you won’t feel alone and frightened in the dark at night?

You want to sell all your action figures and boy legos to make shelf space for your secret stash of Barbie dolls and Lego Friends sets?

You want to replace that Scalextric dad got you with a doll’s house for your Barbies?

You hope I’ll play ‘dollies’ with you even though I outgrew mine years ago?

You’re going to write a letter asking Santa for all the animated Barbie and Disney Princess movies for Christmas this year so you can complete your collection?

You want me to go see the new live action Barbie movie starring Margot Robbie with you when it comes out in cinemas?

You hope a doctor will put you on hormone blockers when you’re old enough so you won’t get mutilated by the effects of puberty against your will?

You’re so excited I found out your secret since now you can be the girl you’ve always wanted to be?

I really can’t believe any of this…

.

[zannia]

The shelves thus far!

🩷The Barbies! Lashana Barbra and Daphne. Barbie dolls stopped coming with names so I had to come up with my own. (I hate dolls not having names tbh)

🩷Monster High Scaradise Island. Really thought this line was cute, waiting for a huge sale to consider buying Heath (no one on FB Marketplace sells boy dolls). Venus is there because she met them in the show at Scaradise island (had no space on the other MH shelf)

🩷More Monster High. Mostly signature dolls + monster ball. Oh and monster fest Clawdeen (she's just leaning against the wall because i ran out of stands and she refuses to stand on her own.)

🩷Mini dolls! Crybabies BFF & Magic Mixies Pixlings so far. I have the hardest time trying to hunt down the crybabies and I want more pixlings.

🩷 Rainbow High. I love these dolls so much sad about the rebranding because the new dolls are so hideous unappealing to me. There's still plenty i want to get but these are so annoying to get on the 2nd hand market NIB

🩷 Shadow High. Sad they've been discontinued but i really love fantasy skin tones. These are also impossible to find NIB on the 2nd hand market.

🩷 O.M.G! Love these so much and how easy they are to find in thrift stores, mercari, goodwill, and flea markets.

🩷 Bratz! The only two I own. A birthday gift from 2022 🥰 I want to get more but I'm not paying $60+ for an unarticulated doll with missing clothing/accessories. I'm hoping one day I'll come across one in the wild at the thrift store or something. I want more but they're sooooo annoying to collect rn.

🩷 Also 2 Bratz chairs, both NIB one full price (🤢) and the other found on fb marketplace. I def want more doll furniture/playsets but i don't have much space to work with.

Just my shelves as of 2024. I'm two years into this and wow there's a lot of dolls. I went a little overboard in 2022 & early 2023 💀 but super happy and love all the ones I have. Wanted a visual archive for when i eventually move shelves around or finally get new furniture to display them on. Also interested in what my opinion will be in a few months/years if I still like my collection (or collecting in general?) or which dolls fall out of favor etc etc.

[newlyy]

Show me them dolls!!

Ok so first, right off the bat, I round the corner into the toy section and find two myscene dolls!!!!

Not in their original outfits obviously, but still not fucking bad for a thrift store that usually has nothing in the way of toys. And I also got the doll on the right. I haven’t identified her yet (I don’t think the dress is hers), but I thought she was pretty and wanted to learn more about her. And they had a 90s generation girl dance party Barbie, but I already have her, and she was missing everything except a shirt and necklace, so I left her.

But then, I keep looking and find a bratz horse!

And Polly pockets!

They’re the bigger 2000s ones with the rubbery clothes. I probably would have bought them on their own, but what really convinced me was that white purse in the case on the left. I was like I KNOW that’s a bratz purse

And these are the bratz accessories that were in there. I think the pants and hat are from Wild West kiara maybe? Which would also explain the horse. And believe you me, I searched up and down that toy aisle trying to find the implied bratz, but there were none 😔 oh and this littlest pet shop hamster thing was in there too

And then finally I found this plush Barbie Swan lake unicorn thing

Which I’m kind of eh on, but I might wash and fix her up and sell her. And then this old hamtaro hamster thing that I need to do more research on, but was intrigued by

So not fucking bad!!!! I only happened to go in today because I was dropping off a package next door. I think someone definitely donated all of their 90s/2000s toys cause there were a shit ton of beanie babies and stuffed animals from the 90s, like lady and the tramp and 101 Dalmatians, Bambi, that kind of thing.

[rosecreer]

The World Domination of Barbie: How the Sales of the Movie Became it’s Success

Mattel and Warner Bros. have partnered up with various consumer brands to provide exposure and almost world domination of Barbie pink to keep the movie in consumers minds even if they don’t plan to watch the film. With the limited-edition release of Barbie pink in luxury clothing and even food brands, Mattel encourage sales for the movie which now has a worldwide responsibility to be a massive success.

“For merchandisers, it’s only good if the movie is a success. If the movie is a thud, everyone is going to be putting a lot of pink merchandise on sale.” according to Allen Adamson of a marketing and branding agency.

The iconic doll has had her reign since 1959, and has been a massive success ever since creating a doll universe and even several animated movies all a staple of many late 1990s early 2000s children. By releasing movies, children would want the outfits Barbie wore in the film, even the sets and pets too. By continuously revitalising and reinventing Barbie’s looks and growing the Barbie universe, any child could start to love Barbie at any time, and one Barbie outfit could never be enough...

The live action Barbie is no different with Mattel releasing reinvented Barbie and Ken dolls inspired by the film.

“Clothing and jewelry makers such as French fashion house Balmain and jewelry maker Kendra Scott, pool float-maker Funboy and home-sharing service Airbnb have all teamed up with Mattel to create Barbie-themed products and experiences. Airbnb has a listing for a one-night stay at Barbie's Malibu Dreamhouse, while department store Neiman Marcus is exclusively selling a Balmain x Barbie collection. A hoodie from the limited-edition line retails for $1,350.”

Having characters like Barbie come to the screen takes a huge responsibility on representing positive and important teaching topics. Setting an example through a beloved character.

“Barbie's impact on the construct of femininity, for better or worse, is immeasurable and worth exploring in adulthood. Like the men who sit religiously through every Marvel and DC film, women deserve to take a piece of their childhood with them as they age. Given the unrealistic expectations society sets forth for women — in part because of Barbie — it's the least Hollywood could allow women to do: reclaim our girlhood.” - Alyssa Capri

If I am to look into merchandising behind animated character, it is important to reflect on the successes of characters that have inspired productions and how marketing and cinema go hand in hand in creating a popular character.

www.cbsnews.com. (2023). Seeing pink: Brands hop on ‘Barbie’ bandwagon amid movie buzz - CBS News. [online] Available at: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/mattel-barbie-themed-merchandise-brand-partnership/ [Accessed 24 Jul. 2023].

Film. (2023). Greta Gerwig’s Barbie Breaks Every Single Hollywood Rule About ‘Toy Movies’. [online] Available at: https://www.slashfilm.com/1346454/greta-gerwigs-barbie-breaks-hollywood-rule-toy-movies/ [Accessed 24 Jul. 2023].

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I wrote this letter about gender being a joy-centered experience - and in this one, I want to go into detail and share some specific things with you that give me joy or make me feel euphoric as a bi trans man.

This will be a somewhat self-indulgent letter: my therapist suggested that I write a list like that for myself, so I can look at it on bad days or after painful experiences, and remind myself of positive things. I figured that it may be interesting or inspiring to some of you as well - just keep in mind that these are my personal experiences and not meant to represent anyone but me.

So, without further ado, here are some random "Oh gosh, I love being a man, I love being bi, I love being me, I love being alive" things:

- There are many songs that make me feel that way. In fact, there are so many that I made a whole "Gender Euphoria" playlist for myself. Some of the songs in it are self-explanatory, some are connected to personal memories and a few are just Gender Vibes for a reason I myself don't even understand. All of them make me feel good.

- Clothes shopping. More specifically, going into a clothes store and heading straight to the Men's section without making up some excuse (to the person I am with or to myself) or "accidentally" ending up there. I remember so many shopping trips as a child that ended with both me and my mom in tears because we have been in this store for literal hours and still haven't found one single piece I am not absolutely refusing to try on... and now I walk in, find like five pieces in five minutes and actually have to stop myself from finding more? Clothes are fun and that keeps being a delightful surprise for me.

- Talking about stores and child-me: Hey, young me, do you remember that time you saw that yellow toy car in a store and you wanted it so badly and you got that Barbie doll instead? Guess what I just got you. Hint: It's yellow and it's just as fun to play with as you imagined it to be. Nobody, absolutely nobody, can stop you from getting a yellow toy car when you are an adult and there is something deeply healing and freeing about that realization.

- While trying to look as hypermasculine as possible can be fun, interacting with (or even just looking at) other men is a beautiful reality check, and that goes double for other queer men. Gay and bi men, even the cis ones, have all sorts of gender-fun, and experimenting with clothes, hair, hobbies, language etc. in ways that are not strictly hypermasculine actually makes me feel MORE connected to manhood rather than less.

- Everything that has my name on it is an automatic need. Do I need a new cup? No, the cupboard is full. Do I need a cup that says Oliver? Yes, yes, yes, desperately so. I finally understand why gift shops sell so much stuff with names on it. Turns out, stuff with your name on it is a must-have when you actually feel connected to your name.

- I feel like my name needs a separate bullet point. Shoutout to myself for naming me Oliver. I am an Oliver. I couldn't be anything but an Oliver. Oliver is a freaking awesome name for me.

- When I look in the mirror now, there is a dude looking back at me... and that just happened, slowly, over time. I just realized it the other day when I stood there in the morning and heard myself think "Wow, dude, you sure look tired" and there was just this sudden feeling of... warm, comforting normal-ness? I didn't even think about gender, didn't need to have any internal discussion about the fact that I am a man, I was just thinking about the bags under my eyes. It was a given that it is a whole-ass dude who has those bags.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

P.S: While writing this, two random encounters popped into my mind and made me smile, so I will share them here as well:

- A group of Gym Bros (the bodybuilder type, probably had more strength in their little fingers than I have in my entire body) all greeted me (very much not the bodybuilder type) with a loud and enthusiastic cheer of "Hey, bro!", "What's up, bro!", "Bro! Nice to see you!", "Bro!!". May have briefly considered not clarifying that we don't know each other and just let them adopt me as their (much, much smaller) bro.

- A very polite, elderly gentleman asked about my gender, immediately apologized and asked for my pronouns instead, explaining that his grandkids taught him that "the young people don't do gender anymore" and he thinks that's fantastic, he is just very old and forgets his manners sometimes.

[dulcegyaru]

Hi!! Ive Looked Everywhere For This Information And Although Im Probably Just Not Lookign Hard Enough, I wAs Hoping You Could Tell me Some Brands/Shops That Sell Gyaru Clothes? Or Just Things That Can Be Passed Off As Gyaru With Other Accessories And Items Paired with It?

Hello! Currently I don’t know of any stores that have a gyaru focus (i do plan to open one but that’ll be in the future) however with the rise of y2k fashion you can find pieces at different retailers. Anything can be gyaru as long as you know how to put it together, accessorize and do hair + makeup.

For second hand brand stuff such as alba rosa, d.i.a., ma*rs, etc you’re better off using japan mercari or similar sites, resellers will scalp you but you can find gyaru brand items there for acceptable prices. Sadly I haven’t really been able to find dupes for items of said brands.

I do know Charlotte Russe//Ruse (??) was having a preppy-ish collection:

Plaid skirt + vest/cardigan + button down + loose socks + Japanese school shoes or platform sneakers/shoes = a solid kogal fit. From that the loose socks can be bought on shein or AliExpress and the shoes depends on you: ebay carries Japanese school shoes, and AliExpress there’s also store-envy sellers who carry cosplay products so you might find some there. I personally don’t like the concept of using school shoes so i wear af1s

Forever 21 was having a barbie collection, and while this isn’t a 100% gyaru, some pieces can be incorporated and create something Manba like.

I recommend finding what style you like best wether modern or older gyaru, see the sub style you enjoy and from there visit magazine scans. You’ll grow familiar with the silhouettes and patterns and create your own co-ords. You don’t have to be decked top to bottom in one brand, or og gyaru brands.

For example this outfit:

Accessories:

The girl on the left has:

- hoop earrings

- layered necklaces seem to be silver crosses, maybe crystals, or those silver ones that have engraving

- simple bracelet i believe its one of those leather ones

- leather belt matches the bracelet.

☀️ Most of these can be found at different retailers (burlington and marshalls usually carry good belts + nice stainless steel jewelry also pleated for those who prefer gold)

Top:

In this case it’s a baby doll cut crop // cropped tee. Doesn’t have to be camo, currently most stores carry cropped tees like that. Alternatively children’s tops usually have a similar fit

☀️ Shein, pacsun, forever 21 usually carry tops with these tighter fits rather than the traditional loose crop top

Pants:

Bell bottoms, in this case they’re a dark wash but pair them according to your top and what looks good.

Dark wash + a hot pink or white crop would look nice.

Light wash + a white crop is good.

Black on black is also a good choice

☀️ Everyone and their mother is selling bell bottoms. Ive personally found the best ones at forever 21

Shoes:

Wooden finish platforms with black leather straps (matching the bracelet + belt)

☀️ Now this is the harder part, these seem to be platforms with a wooden-ish finish. These were more common m//trendy in the 70s and there’s not a boom for these currently. However Steve Madden and Shein are carrying platforms with a wooden finish

I can’t really point you in one direction due to the lack of resources, but gyaru magazines are an amazing guide. As long as you know what item you’re looking for or well what is it called you can create any outfit you want!!

Have a nice day!! 💕💕💕

[luckyblackcloverrr]

The Black Bulls and their bullshit in the modern time: jobs I guess – Part. 2

Many seemed to enjoy the first part of the series, thank you so much for the love! Honestly I don’t think this part is as good or funny as the one about lifeguard Yami and the café buddies, so look out for part 3 (the last part) I guess? Again I didn't mean for these to turn out like headcanons, but does it really matter at this point? Nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy this one, which includes babysitter Asta, and the fashion boutique group! :D

Asta

baby babysitter

has enough muscles to carry 4 children on him with ease.

he probably shocks clients by telling them that he doesn't mind working for free (because he's clueless about stuff like that)

but his clients always pays him because they feel bad when they see him get along so well with their kids

never gets mad at the children, but always disciplines them with his loud ass voice whenever they do something wrong

teaches the kids yoga he learned from Vanessa to calm them down

"inner peace in your mind, and breathe in, breathe out."

the session is interrupted when a kid pulls his hair from behind him, and suddenly they're having a nerf gun battle

likes to break dance in the living room to entertain the kids

dislocated his shoulder once because of it

tries to help them with homework but he himself doesn’t understand what the question is asking for

brings the children out to the park to have fun with the consent of their parents

usually brings Luck with him because he has TONS of energy and the children love playing tag with him 

Asta tells him to lose on purpose so the kids don’t cry

absolutely horrible at putting them to sleep because he literally sounds like an alarm clock

so he pretends to sleep with them to get the children to follow him (because they look up to him)

ends up actually falling asleep

immensely fascinated at his rich clients' houses because he has never seen cool things like a water fountain or a built-in theatre before in a house

i totally see him screaming and shouting exactly like the children he's babysitting when playing with them

Vanessa Enoteca

runs a small fashion boutique, and designs all the items in the shop

the only person in the shop that the customers find approachable

she's usually hungover when you see her

but helpful nonetheless when it comes to clothing choices

there's never really a time where the boutique is full with customers

so in the morning she sits behind the counter, either fast asleep or watching cat videos

in the afternoon she becomes more productive though

works with Gordon to finish any ongoing pieces and discusses new designs

lowkey thinks of her customers as dolls

constantly playing dress up with the customers, and her persuasion skills gets them to actually buy her choices

plays bubblegum jpop through the speakers because Zora lowkey enjoys it

5pm to 7pm is the time for her daily yoga sessions

she holds weekly zumba lessons on the space one floor above the boutique for some extra cash

Gordon and Henry always end up being dragged into them, both the yoga and the zumba

has considered becoming a stripper seriously at least 4 times

flirts with male customers only because she wants sales

it works for some reason and she sells a winter coat for $350... in the middle of summer

gives discounts whenever she feels like it

once when she was batshit drunk, she cut 99% off someone's bill

she was dragged to the back to rest while Zora had to take over at the counter and passive aggressively explain why it is impossible and unreasonable for them to offer the discount

Gordon Agrippa

works in Vanessa's boutique pt. 1

was asked by Vanessa to work in her shop because he had a talent for sewing up dolls

now he's Vanessa's apprentice, learning how to properly make clothes and helping her complete outfits

apparently, his fashion taste has significantly improved (according to Vanessa)

she thinks Gordon's appearance is what makes him...Gordon, so she doesn't bother asking him to change it

wants to go out and make friends with the customers

once, he appeared from the back room and everyone in the store fled in fear

Henry gave him pats on the back to console him afterwards

after working together for awhile, all the workers in the boutique can make out his mumbles

likes to stroll around the shop (when there is no one) to appreciate the peace and vibes

has handmade dolls of everyone, and they sit on the table and watch him while he works

also the person who fixes things around the shop

light bulbs, broken shelves, malfunctioning cashier machine, you name it

only because the rest either had no clue how to fix them, or they're too unbothered to care about it

so Gordon learned all these skills from Google

occasionally goes to the café and Charmy's restaurant to fix things too

he just wants more friends, but is also absolutely content with his friendship with the Bulls

Zora Ideale

works in Vanessa's boutique pt. 2

drives a cool motorcycle to work

only working here because Vanessa promised to give him free clothes

you'll never see him without a leather jacket

Vanessa has told him before that he looks too scary for the customers to approach

but he honestly does not give a damn

critiques just about anybody's fashion sense

he'll tell a child that the pink Elsa dress she is wearing looks like shit

or how those blue coloured barbie crocs are NOT it

and the child always ends up crying, but stops when Henry offers her a lolipop

but he does offer actual advice and good choices depending on the customer

just that it comes out very aggressively

and it is up to the customer whether to take his suggestions or leave

he will BULLY anyone that talks shit about the workers in the store

Henry's looks messy and dirty? Zora roasts

Vanessa doesn't take her job seriously? Zora roasts

Gordon looks scary? Zora agrees but still ROASTS

the person who pulls Luck back by the ear before he ransacks the place

also offers relationship advice to couples if necessary

many visit the shop just for his brutal honesty about various topics

at least 5 couples visit monthly for his guidance

REFUSES to join Vanessa's yoga and zumba sessions, he clocks out and immediately heads to the café to chill instead

Henry Legolant

works in Vanessa's boutique pt. 3

wears pajamas to the job

he was invited to work there but Henry thinks of it more as a friendly gathering than work

his job there mostly consists of folding clothes, ironing clothes and keeping the whole store tidy

he's basically in his own world

doesn't get mad whenever the store becomes messy

he doesn't question it and instead he just tidies it up again

also sometimes sits in a corner and draws new outlines for the interior design of the boutique

is the one who recommended potted plants to Nacht for the café

Zora wanted to give him a haircut, but he insists that it's okay

"that's why his hair is so big, because his hair is fULL oF sEcReTs." – Vanessa Enoteca, quoting off the Mean Girls.

as per Gordon's request, he stands outside the shop for 20 minutes daily

to 'get his daily dose of sunshine' is what Gordon said because Henry stays inside too much

makes tea for the rest whenever it hits 4pm

sometimes offers it to the customers, they usually refuse

enjoys Vanessa's yoga and zumba lessons

he thinks it will help him become more productive

and because he has a very pleasant memory of a specific Zumba session with all the Black Bulls

which was Magna, Zora and Luck competing to see who was the better dancer

Finral won in the end by majority vote

Parts - 1 | 2 | 3

[doll-collecting-aerialist]

AG Lines For Dummies

Your Truly Me is not a Create Your Own.

AG has made many character lines when it comes to their 18 inch dolls. Here’s a breakdown of the various lines, and which dolls are included.

Historical Line

AG started as solely a company that sold dolls with historical narratives, and the original dolls include Samantha, Molly, and Kirsten. Felicity, Addy and Josefina soon followed. The best friend characters are best known from this line, although they have also appeared in the GOTY line. The best friend dolls were often released in order to hype customers up for upcoming movies, Logan Everett of the contemporary line being the exception. The only best friend doll who is movie-less is Ivy Ling, as Julie Albright’s movie was scraped after the mass retirement of all the friend dolls, in favor of an Amazon special.

The Historical line was originally intended as a way for feminine children to see themselves in history, which is often a male dominated scene. At the time of creation, dolls like Barbie that depicted older role models were popular, and marketing dolls meant to be the same age as little girls was unheard of. The line was originally strictly for ages 8-12, however in recent years has been marketed more towards nostalgic adults and collectors.

The Historical line still exists, but is constantly fluctuating, often falling to the wayside. It is no longer the main interest of American Girl’s buyer base.

Subsections of the Historical Line include Beforever, and the 35th anniversary collection.

Truly Me Line

Known as also (but not limited to) “Just Like You,” “American Girl of Today,” “My American Girl,” and “Innerstar U,” the (currently known as) Truly Me line is a collection of blank slate dolls who are bland enough in their features to resemble many different kids.

Until recently, these dolls were marketed as being the doll version of you. However, with American Girl’s newfound commitment to diversity, they have tried to stray away from that notation, emphasizing that the doll is your best friend, rather than literally being “you.”

Truly Mes come in meet outfits that represent the children’s fashion of the times. Until the release of the “Trendy Girls,” also known as the “Street Chic Girls,” all Truly Mes came wearing the same meet outfit, however boy Truly Mes and girl Truly Mes have differing meets from one another.

Boy Truly Mes were introduced to the line in 2017 with the contemporary character release of Logan Everett. This was met with a lot of Evangelical pushback. No new masculine Truly Mes have been released since 2017, however the original masculine Truly Mes are still available to purchase.

The “Trendy Girls,” formally known as the “Street Chic Girls” were released in 2021 as part of American Girl’s diversity plan. While much of the reception was positive, the line had issues such as including a white character in a line heavily influenced by Black culture, and not researching well enough in certain areas to properly represent things such as hip-hop. Because of this, AG has dialed back their original campaign plan for these dolls, and now simply refers to them as “The Trendy Girls.”

Currently there are three Trendy Girls, each with colourful hair and a meet outfit unique to them.

Girl Of The Year

The Girl of The Year line began in 2001, and continues to be added to each year, with tradition being that the new girl is announced on Good Morning America. Girl of The Years are typically developed two years in advance, with the exception being the Gabriela McBride fiasco, in which Oprah called American Girl out for lack of diversity within the line, and AG responded by (poorly) producing a Black character in less than six months.

The Girl Of The Year line became popular during the year of Marisol, the third doll to be released in the line, and continued this popularity through the 2000s and 2010s. In the 2010s, Girl of The Years were often accompanied with movies and apps.

Until the latter 2010s, with the exception of the early girls (who had a weird release/retirement schedule), Girl of The Years retired at the end of each year. Currently, GOTYs are available for multiple years, and are available in stores such as Costco even after retirement.

GOTYs often have a color theme associated with them, as well as a main interest their collection is based around. Popular interests amoung the girls include dance, water sports, and environmentalism.

Now a days, the Girl of The Year line fluctuates in popularity. GOTYs often don’t resonate with adult collectors due to lack of diversity in doll design. Parents are also beginning to notice the lack of diversity and repetitiveness, with recent dolls like Luciana and Joss selling out again and again, while dolls like Kira fall to the wayside.

2017 Contemporary Line

The 2017 contemporary line was a line of three dolls released along side the ill fated Gabriela McBride. Gabriela was a rushed Black character who was not the original intended GOTY, and was made as a response to the anger about the lack of diversity within the GOTY line.

American Girl still wanted a way to release their originally intended Girl Of The Year; Tenney Grant with her “best friend” doll, Logan Everett, and so they created a contemporary line consisting of Tenney, Logan and Z Yang. Z Yang was an Asian character with a very similar appearance to JLY 30, and was based off an American Girl web series. Logan was the first (and only) boy character released, and faced controversy due to being a white character with the culturally significant Kaya mold.

This contemporary line released alongside Gabriela, and Tenney Grant was heavily marketed, with Z and Gabriela being mainly side pieces.

With the exception of Tenney and her collection, Gabriela and Z experienced many quality issues, and much of their collections were rereleases of previous products.

This contemporary line quickly retired, with no additions or mentions of it since.

Gabriela and Tenney Grant are still available at Costco, however Z has not had a rerelease, and goes for $200+ second hand despite quality issues.

World, By Us

World By Us is an upcoming line with three confirmed characters of colour, and was created in response to the growing criticism of their clear favoritism of white dolls with light features. This line is aimed towards older children, with the characters having light makeup, and attending middle school. The line seeks to talk about real world events/issues, particularly racism, in a kid friendly way. There is speculation this line will expand to talk about more marginalized identities in the future, with AG dabbling into “controversial” territory with Kira and Courtney exploring the LGBT community, and Joss being the first visibly disabled character (something they’ve seemed reluctant to do since the public reception of Gwen- a houseless character). This line is also rumored to be collaborating with the high end children’s clothing brand, Janie and Jack.

Create Your Own//CYO

American Girl: Create Your Own is an official GUI that lets you design your own doll with the various options given to you for $200. These options include 6 different skin tones, the Classic, Josefina, Sonali, Jess, and Addy molds, as well as exclusive outfits and accessories, and more. The CYO GUI officially released in 2017, and has expanded since then. The “CYO experience” is available in flagship stores, but is also available online. Dolls typically take 6+ weeks to arrive, and the CYO line also has a clothing design section where you can design various pieces of clothing with official prints.

The CYO line has been both praised and criticized for having exclusive features such as a light toned Addy mold, and a dark toned Jess mold. The CYO line also has an exclusive pink hair colour, and you are able to give your doll mismatching eye colors.

[renee-writer]

The Dollhouse Chapter 1

A/N This prompt was sent to me by @omgbarbiegurl . Thank you love. A bit of creepiness for y'all. There will be one maybe two more chapters.

They thought she would like it. It is Victorian, an antique. A gift from a great -aunt, the dollhouse is presented with much fanfare on her fifth birthday.

“Stella, this is a present from your great -aunt Mary. She had it sent all the way from Ohio. “ her mommy and daddy watch as she tears the wrapping paper off. They are in her room. The dollhouse is huge and they sat it where it would be after wrapping it. Her eyes are excited as she rips the paper off. After un-wrapping it, she stares.

“It is a dollhouse. See?” her mommy opens it up to reveal the tiny furniture and little dolls, dressed in Victorian style. She stares before shutting it, moving back, on her bum as far as she can from it. “Stella, what is wrong?”

“Bad!” her thumb goes to her mouth, a habit she had outgrown a year previous. Both her parents look at each other.

“You don’t have to play with it. It is okay.” Her daddy says.

She doesn’t . A old blanket is thrown over it. As time passes, her room changes. The stuffed animals are replaced by Barbies, the Barbies replaced by make-up and pictures of boy bands. The dollhouse, to big to store anywhere else and to valuable to just get rid off, stays in the corner. The blanket is removed and dust gathers on it.

Stella and her mom deep clean the room twice a year and it is dusted, moved and swept under. That is all the attention it receives until Stella turns thirteen.

That year, she gets a lot of new clothes, a hair curler, a I phone. All are appreciated but, later that night, when her parents go to say goodnight, they find her by the neglected doll house, playing with it.

“Why Stella, we had been discussing selling it. You had never shown an interest.”

“I guess I just needed to grow up some. It is quite cool. So may details.”

“Good. Your Aunt Mary is probably smiling from heaven. Lights out in an hour. You have school in the morning.”

“Yes dad. Thank you for everything. I loved my party and gifts. Love you both.”

“We love you.” They slip out. “Well don’t that beat all?”

“It is wonderful.” His wife says.

The next day, Stella hurries home to the dollhouse. Seating at her desk, she rushes through her homework before sitting beside it. Her new phone rings but she ignores her friends calls. Her total focus is on the tiny furniture and figures.

Her mom comes in to call her to supper and she begs off. “I’m not hungry.”

The next day it is the same. Her mom insists she comes to the table. Forced, she throws food in her stomach ignoring her parent’s attempts to engage her in conversation. After she is excused and runs back to her room, they share a look.

“What is going on with her?” her dad asks.

“I wouldn’t worry to much yet. It is properly a hormone thing. Teenagers. You know. “ her dad drums his hands on the table.

“Maybe.”

She seems to get better for awhile maybe noticing that she is freaking her parents out. She makes an effort to be more present. It lasts for a week.

“They just don’t understand Edwin.” She says to the tiny male figure. “How it is with us.”

A voice that only she hears, comes out of it. “It is alright, my darling. We will be together soon.”

[plush-anon]

SCOOB! Stream of Consciousness Review

Here we are folks - I finally review the originally cinematic, fully CGI animated Scooby Doo Movie (one year later... I did not queue this as I thought I had last June - damn you, Tumblr. I’m not changing much here, so enjoy as it was intended).

Created by a team who have professed their affection for this mystery team and their meddling dog too, will this be a lush experience fit to satisfy any Hanna-Barbera fan? Or will it be a hot garbage cash-grab, littered with Easter eggs and references that do nothing to hide a meatless mess of outdated memes and shallow character development?

LET’S

FIND

OUT

Below this cut is my entire stream-of-consciousness review on the SCOOB! Movie, as experienced. SPOILER warning here - I’m digging into everything, no plot points spared. 

Here we go~

And we start off with a decent shot of the California coastline (looks like the kids backstory is front and center), some 90s hip-hop synthwave song about California, and OH SWEET JESUS THESE MODELS LOOK TERRIBLE

Ahem

Yeah, this is a problem right off the bat - some of these people in the opening shots look remarkably unfinished - think three shades above “Rapsittie Kids: Believe in Santa” level - and the animation on them is less than stellar. 

On the plus side, we do see a fantastic variety of ages, sizes, and races - there’s a brief blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Sikh man on roller skates playing a sitar - but when the designs look rushed in the opening shots, it’s not a fantastic sign. At least they’re brief, but it’s hard to see if this is a lower level of the film’s style due to rushed animation, or if they didn’t care to polish it up as much, given that it’s maybe a 30 second scene. 

Still, kudos to actually going for variety in the crowd shots. Minus kudos to making most of the clothes look like Play-doh draped over a Barbie doll. I’m not even kidding on that one, the clothes are super basic and barely have any sign of texture or creasing or even fabric/cut variety. Almost reminds me of the first Toy Story movie’s design for human clothes, yeesh. 

----

Ahh, our first introduction to Scooby Doo at a Greek gyro food stand. That’s foreshadowing right there folks! 😉

Sadly, he is really weirdly animated in his run sequence - he looks out of proportion as he’s running on his hind legs, and the human animation has really bad consistency - some background characters are really janky, while others actually move really nicely. The characters we immediately focus on seem to be pretty smooth at least, but that’s still very strange.

On a side note: Ruby and Spears Sub Sandwich shop. Nice 😁

----

They are reaaaally pushing the super over-the-top dramatic music for a bike cop chasing a dog that stole gyro meat

Why

It’s not even interesting chase music, just generic super-hyped-up chase music

----

And now we finally get to see a young Shaggy, standing next to a tie-dye food stand called Casey’s Confections that… sells meat. Hm. Guess WB hasn’t learned after all these years 🙄

Unfortunately, I’m not a huge fan of the kid they got to play him, Iain Armitage. He’s not a bad voice actor by any means, but he just doesn’t sound right for Shaggy. I know that as a kid he’d be much less likely to have a cracking/squeaky voice, but he sounds… it’s hard to pin down a word, but - precocious? Darling? Either way it doesn’t quite match, especially given how Shaggy sounds when he grows up via Will Forte. Just… no connection there. 

I tie it down to the particular vocal twangs and nuances the gang usually has. I’ll touch base on that note later I think, once we hit the teenage versions of the gang, but for now I’m just not feeling it. 

----

On the one hand, I empathize deeply with Shaggy and his Spotify’s unsettling ability to pinpoint his insecurities with song choices, and also deeply enjoy that one small gesture where his fingers kind of shake & tighten around his phone while he takes a deep breath to calm himself- it’s a very nice, subtle sign of frustration

On the other hand we just passed two guys with no nipples and an unerring likeness to a Ken doll in those Barbie movies, so I’m distracted by that now

(between this and Fred’s no-nipples in Happy Halloween SD!, is WB just terrified of giving men nipples in animated movies now? what gives?)

Also distracted by the thrifty lesbians who bought those two shirts that come together to make a heart in the middle, on the store’s 2 for 1 day

happy pride y’all!

---

Finally got context for the two sand piles!

Very, very sad context, but still! Progress!

Basically Shaggy’s practicing talking to people in order to learn how to make friends, since he either has no idea how, or has never had a friend before. So he’s trying to learn the right way to do it since his own attempts have failed

And him talking to these sand piles not only counts as practice, but he’s using them so that his mom thinks he’s spending time with friends like he told her

Ow :)

---

So ketchup leather is apparently a thing that exists

I’m learning so much today!

---

Given that Shaggy has no friends at this stage, but he’s still called Shaggy, I’m kind of wondering if that was a mean nickname that everyone called him, but he was just grateful for the interaction/pretended it was from friends, so he kept it 🤔

Actually, take it back, his mother is calling him that. Family nickname, maybe…?

----

Shaggy has Blue Falcon (classic) and Dynomutt funko pops

noice

---

Oof, you can reaaaaally hear the age in Frank Welker’s Scooby voice. Can we get Scott Innes back? He sounds almost identical to his performance 20+ years ago :/

Also talking waaaay too much - even SDMI Scooby wasn’t this wordy, and he NEVER shut the hell up 

----

Okay wait

So Shaggy met Scooby on Halloween day - then met the rest of the gang hours later?

Huh. And here I was thinking it would have been a few weeks minimum 

Although I have to say there is a lot here to work with, if it paces out how I think it does

Shaggy meets Scooby. Bare hours later, he buys him a collar (instead of his mom? weird) and asks him to stay with him, despite not really knowing him. Then, only a couple hours after that, he finally makes some friends… but only when Scooby is with him. 

Given that it looks like the gang are all around the same age in the same neighborhood, there’s a solid chance that they’ve taken classes together at the same school. If none of them met/knew/made friends with Shaggy then, but only did so AFTER Scooby came into the picture, that might lead to the argument we know about later when they split up; afterwards, S&SD go to the bowling alley, then get abducted by the Blue Falcon, plot continues. This could make it seem like they were only friends with him at the start because he had a dog. 

And the brief scene earlier with the music device shows that he tries to tamp down on his anger/doesn’t really address it - could lead to something more later 

hmmmm 🤔

---

Wait what

These two kid bullies just came out of nowhere, stole Shaggy’s candy… and then started on about how Halloween is only a marketing ploy to get companies to rot your teeth and go to the dentist more, before throwing the bag through a window and telling the two that ‘your blood sugar will thank us for it!’

Are - are these the brainwashed children of a Karen? Is that what I’m seeing?

I mean we could have had a Red Herring cameo, but apparently informing children about candy conspiracy theories is more important :/

----

Daphne: It’s Halloween - no one should go home without their candy

FD&V: *none of them have candy/candy bags*

???????

(Wouldn’t it make more sense if the bullies had stolen their candy too? What the hey man)

----

I do find it neat that we actually get to SEE the wires the ‘ghost’ uses to fly in full effect - that’s actually pretty cool, and not really something we get to see up close in older Scooby shows. Most of those just have the bad guy randomly flying about, and the wires revealed after the fact 

---

Actually, given how FD&V react to this ghost almost immediately… have they already been solving mysteries? It seems like it, given how smoothly they move together to capture him

That’s kind of odd in kids. Like, even in PNSD they weren’t perfectly in-sync on stuff

This then leads to the gang solving mysteries together… in spite of the fact that all Shag and Scoob did was hide in the wardrobe that had the stolen goods, while FD&V captured the dude 

Granted, they do ask Shag and Scoob if they wanna join in and say yes, but that seems like an strange jump after what could have been a one-time deal

I just find that a touch odd - esp when they could have had a five minute scene or so of them wandering around the house, touching on some old SDWAY traits. Heck, show that they’re SCARED in some way, and don’t immediately move to tackle what looks like a murderous spirit at age 8-9 or so. Even just showing the kids learning about each other would be enough, but what do I know. I’ve only watched Scooby Doo everything since I was 4 🙄

---

Ahhhh, and now for the updated rendition of the theme song

Where they’re all still kids doing everything the teenage gang did in the theme song

It doesn’t look as good as the OG, though - kind of like a computer game simulating the SDWAY intro using the PNSD kids in CGI. It’s honestly strange to see, and a little jarring - especially when we then transition to the older teenage gang right in the middle

Like, we don’t get to see you guys age through the song as you’re chased by/catch different monsters? That could have been pretty neat honestly - shows how long they’ve been doing this

Tho I gotta admit, seeing the Spooky Space Kook with his OG sound effects is pretty awesome, brief as it waoH MY GOD FRED WHY ARE YOU HAVING A ROMANTIC BEACHSIDE DATE WITH THE MYSTERY MACHINE 

THAT WASN’T IN THE ORIGINAL AND NO ONE ELSE GETS A CHARACTER INSIGHT SHOT LIKE THIS

WHY

----

Huh, looks like Ruby & Spears gave up their subway sandwich shop for a coffee shop

That apparently the gang goes to in order to eat malt shop food

okay?

----

Ah, and here’s where we finally look at the voice acting of the older teenage gang. Buckle up folks, cause I gotta lot to say

We’ll start with Fred, bc honestly? I think Efron actually fits him pretty dang well. He’s got a different cadence from Welker, true, but as far as an update goes? I think he’s a solid fit. Very much in line with the all-American kid that Fred’s kind of been slated as for the past 50 years or so, but updated more for the modern perspective. I call it solid (and possibly a replacement for whenever Welker decides to retire). 

Next? Oof. Velma is, IMHO, the weakest casting. Velma, no matter her voice actress, has ALWAYS had some form of nasal twang to her voice - that’s part of what makes her Velma to begin with, and helps her stand out. Nicole Jaffe, Pat Stevens, BJ Ward, Christina Lange (PNSD), Mindy Cohn, Kate Micucci, Linda Cardellini -heck, even Haley Kiyoko from ‘The Mystery Begins’ and Sarah Gilman from the ‘Daphne and Velma’ movie understood this! They all had that nasal twang to their voice - differing between actresses, of course, but still recognizable as Velma. Gina Rodriguez though? Honestly, it just sounds like she’s acting it straight. Not bad acting at all, by any means - she just doesn’t sound like Velma, and doesn’t seem to be trying to. (Honestly wondering if she was only hired bc she voices Carmen Sandiego in the reboot cartoon for the lolz fun reference! type connection) 

Daphne is sort of similar in voices, but hers is more of a pitch her voice hits - Heather North, Mary Kay Bergman, and Grey Delisle Griffin all have that pitch they hit naturally when speaking. Amanda Seyfried? Does not - in fact, her voice is actually deeper than I was expecting - but it’s not quite as big a difference as it is for Velma. It fits her character type okay, and she does well with it overall.  

And finally, the most controversial one: Will Forte’s Shaggy. 

I’ll go ahead and say this: he’s not Scott Menville levels of bad Shaggy voice acting. If I were to place him on a list, I’d probably put him around Billy West level - kind of sounds similar via vocal tics (voice cracking, likes and zoinks, etc), but his own voice just overtakes the impression he’s seeking to hit. When I hear him speak, I don’t really hear Shaggy; I just hear Will Forte trying to do an impression of Shaggy. 

In comparison: when Scott Innes took over for Shaggy, it was like Casey Kasem’s, just a touch more of a twang to his voice and just a dash over-the-top - but it was still Shaggy, and you didn’t doubt that for a minute.

Same thing for Lillard, but maybe moreso - he was pretty much the most perfect casting for a live-action Shaggy there could be at the time Scooby Doo (2002) was made. Him taking over for Kasem from there made perfect sense: he was honestly the best cast Mystery Inc member of the live-actions, and a lot more recognizable to the general public as Shaggy than Scott Innes was. He could also do different emotions with Shaggy that not a lot of the other voice actors had the chance to do (mainly bc script), so for future stuff they have that flexibility, if they wanted to play around a little more. 

With any luck Forte will get better over the course of the movie, but honestly the casting could have been so much better with Matt Lillard and Kate Micucci. 

----

Shaggy Rogers, evading taxes since 2020

----

siMON COWELL??!? 

WHAT THE

WHY?!?!?

ALSO HIS CHARACTER DESIGN STYLE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THE GANG WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!!?

IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SD CELEBRITY CAMEO

LIKE

IF YOU WERE GOING TO DO A CAMEO FROM AMERICAN IDOL WHY NOT RYAN SEACREST 

HE TOOK OVER FOR CASEY KASEM ON THE AMERICAN TOP 40 WOULDN’T THAT MAKE MORE SENSE

aaauuuggghhh

---

Also he’s there as a potential investor in Mystery Inc as a detective agency

A music industry professional… is interested in funding a detective agency.

Like… did he miss out on Josie & the Pussycats? Is that why he’s here?

----

Wait a minute

Oh noooooo

I know why he’s here

I remember this spoiler

Shit

-----

And once again, here is your reminder to tell Simon Cowell a great big fcuk you

Only this time it’s for making Shaggy and Scooby feel worthless and saying that friendship is worthless and cannot be counted on for anything worthwhile

Simon Cowell: Professional Dickhead

---

Welp, at least this gives a solid reason why they leave: Simon Cowell was being a professional dickhead, and the gang didn’t really say anything against him or interrupt him on his whole ‘Shag and Scoob are worthless spiel’

Or, well... Daphne stepped up some, but more to say ‘they’re our friends!’ rather than ‘that’s entirely wrong, our friends aren’t worthless!’ Better than nothing, but yeesh

----

Ahhh, Takamoto Bowling - the emptiest bowling alley in the evenings this side of Coolsville 

(no seriously, the past few times my dad has taken my sister and me bowling pre-pandemic, no matter the day or time? it’s ALWAYS got more than 6 lanes of people there, what the heck)

Also Scooby wears three bowling shoes, which honestly makes more sense than I thought it would - that pup goes spinning and sliding every which way on a normal floor, bowling alley floors would be like ten times worse

----

here’s a nice little detail - when Scooby sees one of the bowling pins peek out with red eyes and he yells that to Shaggy, Shaggy actually squints and walks closer to see if it actually does have eyes

aww

----

Huh, okay 

Panicked Will Forte Shaggy actually sounds more like a good Shaggy voice than normal talking Will Forte Shaggy

I can dig it

---

Still kind of underwhelmed by the Shag and Scoob disguise scene - wouldn’t it make more sense to have them like, dish up hot sauce or something on a plate that nonsensically makes the robots overheat before they discover their ruse?

Idk, maybe they’re off their game after Simon ‘Dickhead’ Cowell

---

Carlton Way - must be named after Fred’s only other voice actor, Carlton Stevens of PNSD

Also Hanna’s Barber Shop is next to Barbera’s Pizza! Cute.

And… Pitstop’s Pink Perfume ad. Wait, who is that? *assorted googling noises*

...ahhh, Penelope Pitstop from Wacky Races! Who, according to Wikipedia, was revealed to have Greek ancestry in the 2016 Wacky Raceland comic book, having been born on the island of Aegina

Now I’m wondering if we’ll see her in this too, given Cerberus...

----

Honestly kind of fascinating to see the gang with a police radio in their van

Also fascinating to see that only main characters are allowed clothing variety and texture/creases/folds

---

it’s actually really sweet to see Fred, upon hearing that Shag and Scoob are likely in danger, immediately makes a 90 degree turn in traffic

---

It looks like they changes Dee Dee’s name a hair - now it’s Dee Dee Skyes, instead of Sykes

It works well for the Falcon aesthetic, so that’s cool

----

Shaggy, after Dee Dee tells them that Dastardly’s trying to kill them: Scoob, someone thinks we’re important enough to *mimes slitting throat*!

Scooby: It’s nice to be wanted.

Excellent! This movie has captured Shag and Scoob’s blasé attitude towards death! Now we’re onto a solid Scooby film :D

Dee Dee: Hmm, I hear that!

And they even have a friend to share in their attitude! Splendid!

----

Christ, I can work photoshop better than Blue Falcon can, and I don’t even know how to use photoshop

I will give major kudos on his costume tho - it maintains the important elements of the OG Falcon, while still updating it with more bird-related aesthetic, like the feathered appearance of parts of his costume, the split cape resembling the tail feathers, and the talon gauntlets & boots. neat!

---

Yooo, Dynomutt, I thought secret identities were still a thing with Superheroes, what the hey are you doing giving it out to a duo you literally just picked up behind a bowling alley

Ngl, I’m kinda hoping we get some scenes where Dynomutt messes up a little like in the OG cartoon - this one feels really serious, which is kind of strange

---

Okay now I want to see older!Blue Falcon come in for a cameo

Mainly bc I’m getting the feeling that this one is a major dumbass, and not in the fun and friendly himbo kind of way 😑

---

Wait, THAT’S our first look at Dastardly? That’s a bit abrupt, isn’t it?

Also his ship must be pumping thousands of gallons of toxins into the air, that smoke cloud looks hideous. Forget logging into his mom’s Netflix account like the trailer said, EPA should probably be hunting him for sport with a laser cannon, jesus fcuking christ

---

Honestly kinda want a plane you can pilot like a motorbike now

---

Welp, it looks like we have a fun, mustache-twirly, puns-aplenty, loves-to-be-bad kind of villain on our hands folks! This is gonna be FUN AS HECK

---

Eurgh, this scene - the super-stiff-but-stretched-out ‘yeeurgh’ faces really squick me for some reason, but I can’t really pinpoint why

---

I have decided I highly dislike the Brian Blue Falcon, or Brian Falcon for short, and would like to see Dastardly tie him to some railroad tracks

---

North St for Heather North, and… wait… Funland Carnival? Like where Charlie the Robot hung out?

Apparently that’s in Romania.

A very yellow-greenfilter Romania at that.

 Like, I’ve seen blue washes on movies trying to portray evening in the middle of the day so they don’t actually have to shoot at night, but yellow? That’s normally used for deserts and hot days and uhhh 

NOT for evenings in a country with landscape like THIS

odd

(I mean I guess they got the mountains and trees right, but still. Yellow filters make a place look arid, which Romania is Not, to my knowledge)

----

Dude, Brian Falcon is such an idiot even Shaggy and Scooby, commonly portrayed as the idiots of Mystery Inc, look at him like he’s a moron.

(They are Not Amused.)

Also Brian Falcon is an absolute coward. That’s new. Even Shaggy and Scooby face off against the robots directly in a Whack-a-Mole game and destroy some. Dude, get your head in the fcuking game already, yikes

--

Woah, Laff-a-Lympics, Wacky Races, Hex Girls, The Banana Splits, Penelope Pitstop, Space Stars, Posse Impossible, and Hong Kong Phooey easter eggs in one shot

Geezus

--- 

Another nice moment: when cornered by Dastardly, Shaggy moves to stand in front of Scooby to protect him

---

Dastardly (to Shaggy): I don’t care about YOU. You’re not REMOTELY important!

*proceeds to shoot Shaggy THROUGH the ceiling and up into the highest car on a Ferris Wheel where Brian Falcon is hiding like a man baby*

Welp, so much for a fun and zany villain. Time for this Plush Anon to kill a bitch *cocks shotgun*

I will, too - kudos to the animators for hurting me so badly with the face Shaggy made right before being shot because

OW

---

Ehehehhehe, yess, the infamous ‘Dick’ scene

Dastardly: No, I’m a DICK. With a D!

You sure are, you sack of dildos with a D!

This scene had to be put in on purpose - if this had been released in theaters, I just know the adults would be dying in laughter 🤣🤣🤣

----

Shaggy: Brian, do something! 

Brian Falcon: Like what?

Shaggy: Like, drop some F-Bombs!

love it 😂

---

Is it like movie law now, that if there’s an action scene with a Ferris Wheel in the background, it has to fall off and roll down a mild incline like a wheel? Because it kinda feels like it

---

Aha! Dastardly said his drats! Perfection.

Now to shoot him through a ceiling to make them matter even more :D

---

OOF. 

Well that hurt. 

Poor Shaggy - basically internalizing now that he’s the worthless one and weak link of the group now that Scooby is considered more important

---

Holy fcuk I’m crying

Shaggy just broke Brian Falcon down to his deepest insecurities without even trying while talking to him

He even used the words ‘imposter syndrome’ 

Shaggy hon, you’re the best

----

Oh hey, Fred, Daphne, and Velma! It’s been a while since we saw you guys again, what are you doing?

Arguing about the metric system and realizing that Shaggy and Scooby reminding them to eat periodically helped them keep a clearer head...

And using the word ‘hangry’.

But then looking through a ridiculously cute photo album of the two and a video the gang took together (the video is honestly really heckin’ cute, 10000/10 would recommend)...

And then getting pulled over so Fred can have a brief ‘oo-la-la’ montage about the pretty blonde cop who honest-to-gods looks like a Barbie doll.

Where Daphne then describes how ugly Dastardly is...

Right before the petite blonde cop who’s maybe like 5’7” at best rips off her outfit to reveal it was Dick Dastardly this entire time, all 7ish feet of him.

And then kidnaps them all along with the Mystery Machine while he makes terribly fun dorky puns

…

...SO BACK TO SCOOBY AND SHAGGY...

---

...where Scooby is making kissy faces in the mirror while wearing his Blue Falcon uniform

Hrm, that’s not really better is it

We actually see Shaggy reading (OG) Blue Falcon’s autobiography, and making hurt but snide comments about Scooby’s ego

Which are actually pretty clever tbh

-----

Cooooooongratulations, Fred Jones! You are now officially a full-on himbo!

----

Alas, poor Daphne. While your knowledge of the tropes of your show might have served you well in other places, this was to be a theatrical release once upon a time, and so such knowledge falls to ruin.

----

You know, I just realized - we’re never really told HOW the Cerberus skulls work, both in how each skull can be used to find the others,  and, presumably, in releasing Cerberus itself. We’re given a brief glance-over of Scooby’s ancestry (and I mean REALLY damn brief), and a quick mention that these are supposed to be Cerberus’ skulls being stolen, but… that’s it. Nothing else is given. 

Now, I read the first few chapters of my SCOOB! Junior Novelization, and it actually went into further detail about the skulls themselves and what Dastardly’s initial plan was early in the book - open the gates of Hades and obtain the seas of treasure therein. It acted as an introduction both to the climatic endgame we’ll face at the end of the movie, and to Dastardly, who uses the same disguise trick he used as the Barbie cop when he stole the first one in South America. 

(They actually DID plan to use this as Dastardly’s intro, but cut this… 3 minute scene for time. Yeah. See below video for the details - honestly think they should have kept it in. Saves time later and definitely more show than tell, compared to what we got)

I feel like that would be a better introduction to him than the one we got - hell, it would have fit in quite neatly after the revamped theme song montage. They could have the scene with Dastardly finding/stealing the first skull as an introduction (as above), then have him answer a call or something. Exposit openly “You found the key! Excellent! Now where are we going next?” 

THEN cut to the diner/coffee shop scene we had earlier. We still wouldn’t know exactly what the key was/entailed off the bat, and they could still have FD&V find out on their own - maybe by hacking the little robot instead? IDK.

---

The final skull is on Messick Mountain.

Cute.

On a side note, I do love how Dastardly’s ship interior looks - very dieselpunk

---

Velma just hacked into Dynomutt… somehow, and I finally get my wacky Dynomutt shenanigans!  Hazoo!

...sadly that was really dang brief. Realistic, yes, but still too brief. 

---

Eyyyy, we finally get the whys of why Scooby is needed! … really dang fast. 

Also Fred says Jinkies. 

----

Hey, Muttley popped up! In a shrine… to his demise… that we find out he reached when Dastardly pushed him forward into the Underworld to steal the treasure of Alexander the Great in a portal he rigged up… only for both of them to find out it was a one-way deal unless they used the key to be able to come back. The key, of course, being Scooby Doo, descendent of Peritas, Alexander’s dog. 

Eh, workable enough-ish. It’s interesting to see that Dastardly, despite how much he disliked Muttley in the older cartoons, still cares about him to a certain extent. 

---

Pfff, Fred’s a poor man’s Hemsworth XD

---

Sweet, we’re in ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’ now!

---

Um

O W W W

You guys really had to do the ‘me or them’ thing with Shaggy and Scooby… and tHeN hAvE sCoObY cHoOsE tHe FaLcONs?!? Just because they said he was important as “the key” and gave him a spandex costume.

Over at least 7 years of friendship. 

Booooooooooooo

---

actually no I’m Not Done Yet

This whole scene is a mess.

Like

Shaggy’s turn was really dang fast… but I can still see how he gets to it. It’s at least a day between Scooby being chosen as a pseudo-sidekick and the island arrival, during which Shaggy’s talk with the main adult (who has taken up the mantle of his favorite superhero) essentially confirms his feelings of worthlessness and leaves him to stew for HOURS on end (on top of another adult, Dastardly, who also calls him “not even REMOTELY important” at the carnival before freaKING SHOOTING HIM THROUGH THE CEILING NO I AM NOT OVER THIS). Tie that to a teenager who also believes his only friends have come to think he’s meaningless baggage, and suddenly his entire support system is vanishing underneath him to one of his former idols without ANY sign of hesitation from Scooby’s part (with the exception of the collar scene, but I don’t think that that means the same to Scooby, given how quickly he bounces back)

Scooby tho… hrm. It could be that he’s clinging to the good feelings Brian Falcon inspires in him (by choosing him as the next possible Dynomutt), as a way to overpower how FD&V hurt him, while also building on how he came to love the duo because SHAGGY loved them so much. But the movie doesn’t frame that up… at all?? At least compared to Shaggy. 

Idk, maybe I’m missing something, but this scene is a mess through and through

Boooooo

----

Scooby: *tries to leap into Brian Falcon’s arms like he did with Shaggy but falls*

Brian: Uh, what are you doing?

Scooby: Rhaggy never missed. 

Damn straight he didn’t

---

oh hey, it’s Captain Caveman

I was wondering when we’d see him.

---

AAAUUGGHH

It’s that blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene from the trailers I sobbed over - the one with Shaggy holding Scooby’s collar

Fun fact it actuALLY FADES INTO THE FLASHBACK

THAT WAS NOT A TRAILER THING THAT’S ACTUALLY HERE IN THE MOVIE

OW

---

Oh No

Fred is here, alone, after that whole scene with Dastardly saying he had a use for Fred

...while that’s likely Dastardly in a Fred suit (that sounds creepy just typing it), I’m still going to enjoy this brief but absolutely lovely hug Shaggy and Fred share...

(seriously tho, look at this, it’s a genuinely close, squish-your-lungs-out kind of hug, I love it)

...as well as Shaggy, who's still hurt from his fight with Scooby, immediately gearing up to go help him after hearing Dastardly’s trying to kidnap him.

----

Brian Falcon and Scooby Doo now have to take on Captain Caveman in gladiatorial combat in order to claim the final skull of Cerberus

I love cartoons sometimes

----

Captain Caveman just put the smackdown on Brian Falcon and punched him into the ground up to his CHEST

Then smacked him so far into a wall he cracked the stone around him!

GodDAMN is this satisfying 😆 altho minor question here: how did he gain the rank of Captain? Do cavepeople have a naval force?

---

He just whirled Scooby around his head, then spun him so fast his costume broke off

I may have to look into some Captain Caveman stuff now, that’s fantastic

---

Shaggy and Fred - sorry, “Fred” -  just smashed through to the colosseum in the Mystery Machine

And Dynomutt just fired missiles at Captain Caveman to smash him into an Amigara-shaped hole of himself

I REALLY love cartoons sometimes

---

Oh No

Just as Shaggy starts trying to apologize, “Fred” kicks him in the back, rips off his disguise to normal Dastardly self, and kidnaps Scooby atop the skull, before revealing he destroyed the Falcon Fury jet

New tagline for this movie? Shaggy Rogers and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

...at least the rest of the gang is back together?

---

Brian Falcon: *Immediately tries to blame Shaggy for inadvertently leading Dastardly to them, while storming up to get in his face*

Fred: *upon realizing BrianF is blaming Shaggy for everything, without a SINGLE moment’s hesitation, immediately leaps in to defend Shaggy and physically push back Brian Falcon several feet*

We stan one Himbo, theydies and gentlethem

Also?

Velma (sneering): What kind of hero blames other people for his problems? *Walks over to comfort Shaggy with Daphne, while Shaggy looks dumbfounded they’re defending him bc he also blames himself for Scooby’s kidnapping*

This. This right here, is the kind of Mystery gang content I wanna see.

I don’t care how the rest of this movie goes now, this scene right here is ambrosia to the Scooby fan’s soul, and therefore makes this entire movie worth it, outdated memes, lingo, and all

---

Cackling rn - Fred and Brian Falcon are in a point-off a la the Spiderman meme 😂

or, more specifically, the post-credits sequence of Spiderverse where they’re arguing about who started pointing first

It gets better when Velma and Daphne try to pull each other off of their pushing fight, and Velma grumbles “Toxic Masculinity” I’m crying

---

WOAH

More super Shaggy stuff here (apart from being flung through a building roof without a scratch) - he pushes apart both groups effortless, and even knocks them back several feet

If we estimate Dynomutt as… we’ll say 450 since he’s made of metal, Falcon at 220, Dee Dee at 160, that’s about 830 lbs on one side

Then Fred, Daphne and Velma on the other (hmm, 180, 150, 130?) would be around 460 lbs

Dang boi

---

Oh honey no, it’s not your fault

But dang if he didn’t get a good message from it, one I’ve done my best to transcribe here:

“I was afraid that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that Scooby Doo is my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I’m gonna keep that promise! Now it’s time we stopped that mustachioed menace from opening the gates to the {underworld} and letting loose that fearsome {Cerberus}. So what do you say we get out {of here}, and go get my always-snacking, never-lacking, often-napping dog back? Who’s with me?”

Honestly not a bad message for kids. Things will change, people will change, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends. (Obvs real life exceptions apply, but that’s not a bad note honestly)

...shame that that conclusion comes right the FUCK outta nowhere

Like

How, exactly, did he come to this conclusion? WHEN? What inspired him to realize this, what was the impetus for this specific line of thought, that it’s okay for friends to change?

It kinda feels like this should have been either the happy ending speech given after they’ve saved the world, or one at the start of the third act, like if Shaggy arrives when Scooby thinks he’s chased him away and ruined everything, and Shaggy & the gang still save him. And Scooby asks him why he did that - when Scooby tried to change himself to fit what Brian Falcon wanted, instead of treasuring the friend he still had, or maybe why Shaggy reacted the way he did. THEN Shaggy gives the speech we hear, a la:

“I yelled at you because… like, because I was scared. I was scared that... things were gonna change. And they did change. But like, that’s okay! People can grow. But it doesn’t mean that we’re growing apart. Because the one thing that will never change is that YOU’RE my best friend! Ten years ago, a little boy made a promise to a stray puppy that he’d never leave him no matter what. And I mean to keep it!” 

At least that would make a little more sense to me. Again, not a bad speech, but a little rearranging would help to really hit home. 

---

Okay, now we’re back with Dastardly in Greece, and suddenly the background people all look MILES better than the ones at the start of the movie. Did they just forget to polish the first two minutes of film, what the heck?

Also, Dastardly’s ship is literally the entire length of the Greek ruins presented o_O

---

HOLY SHIT THE SKULLS TURNED BACK TIME AND MADE THE RUINS INTO AN ENTIRELY RESTORED PALACE WITH THE GATES OF THE UNDERWORLD BEFORE THEM

They’re also colored a very atmospheric neon arrangement that’s surprisingly quite tasteful ^.^

----

The Mystery Machine can fly now!!! eeheeheeeheeheeheeheeee

----

And so we finally see Cerberus, a massive, towering figure with sharp teeth and pffffffhahahhahaa why are all three heads wearing Spartan helmets

To its credit, they’re also wearing basic body armor, wrist guards, tail spikes, etc, but the helmets are killing me 🤣 who thought to stick that onto the dog? Did Hades forget to remove the armor after winning the Gods’ Pet Costume Contest, or was it like that horse in the ATV costume - it felt safer so it didn’t let anyone take it off?

Or was this a precaution against Herakles coming back? These are questions - hilarious, hilarious questions 😁

---

Awww. Scooby immediately runs to the battered Mystery Machine to rip the doors open for the gang!

And… wait. THIS is where that wonderful hug was in the trailers? I thought that was at the end of the movie when everyone was safe!

This now does not bode well. But we’ll worry about that later. Time to enjoy this gorgeous wonderful hug of the entire gang, and Shag and Scoob apologizing to each other for fighting 🥰

Yet another scene to make the rest of this movie worth the rest

(halfway wanna frame this shit and put it on the wall, it’s that lovely)

----

Fantastic! Dastardly is now in Hell, where I’ve been wishing him this entire movie! :D

And dang… he actually apologizes to what he believes is a dead Muttley. Who is, naturally, snickering at all of this. The two bicker predictably, but eventually hug and make up, too happy to see each other to resort to old habits. Honestly a nice little scene, all-in-all. 

---

Back to the gang and they’re doing the glowy eyes in the dark bit! I actually haven’t seen that in a Scooby movie forever, it’s neat.

Also Fred is now going full Liam Neeson over his van, war paint and all, using the tire cover as a shield and… holy shit. 

HOLY SHIT

THE ASCOT IS BAAAnnnnnd it’s gone. Boy, that was… short. 

Fred just ran full-tilt at Cerberus, screaming like a mad man, before getting flicked away by its big toe, and losing the ascot and makeshift shield. It punched so hard his facepaint came off

It was fun while it lasted y’all

---

Heyyy, Shag and Scoob just came up with the plan, and it’s actually solid! I’m so proud, and so is the rest of the gang! Also willingly going to distract Cerberus while the rest figure out how to close the gate and stuff Cerberus back in

I love my boys 😊

---

Annnnd there goes Brian Falcon like the coward he is

To… call his dad? And admit he isn’t a hero.

Only for Dynomutt to point out Shaggy and Scooby are taking him on and are terrified. 

This then cuts to Shaggy and Scooby running around in a chariot and gladiator wear, running back and forth a la the door gag from Cerberus to the OG SDWAY theme

I think I love this movie

(although they’re hinting at Dynomutt being resentful of OG Blue Falcon essentially abandoning him to his incompetent son, and I really wish it had been touched upon more

that’s actually rather heartbreaking, when you stop to think about it, and there’s a lot that could be done with an additional two minutes of screentime) 

---

Huh, another good message for kids: it’s okay to fail and be scared, so long as you keep going and try to do what’s right.

Two good messages for kids in one movie. Not too shabby, on the whole. 

---

Brian Falcon just flew in and punched the three-headed dog, then jumped into its mouth as it tried to eat Scooby, resisted the MASSIVE JAW STRENGTH, and got them out of there safe and sound

Finally, something heroic!

-- 

I was wondering where Dastardly and Muttley got off to - apparently they’re off to take a money bath.

Aight

---

Shag and Scoob have now convinced the Rotten Robots to turn into bowling balls to knock Cerberus off their feet a la the classic marbles pratfall back into the underworld

That is a sentence I just wrote

----

OH FCUK NO

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT NO

YOU ARE TELLING US THAT AFTER ALL OF THIS - ALL OF THIS - ONE OF THEM HAS TO STAY IN THE UNDERWORLD TO LOCK THE GATE

THAT OCTOBER LEAKER WAS RIGHT WHAT THE HELL

LITERALLY SO

I mean i know its a kids film specifically Scooby Doo so happy ending but what the literal FUCK

---

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGHHH

SHAGGY NOOOO

“Buddy, back when we were kids, you saved me. Now, it’s my turn.”

and he dOES THIS WHILE HOLDING SCOOBY’S HEAD TENDERLY IN HIS HANDS

AND WHEN EVERYTHING REVERTS IT’S JUST RUBBLE AND RUIN AND SCOOBY’S LEFT SOBBING OPENLY AT NOTHING

AND THE GANG ALL COME TO CLING AT HIM AND CRY OVER THEIR FRIEND WHO THOUGHT HE WAS WORTHLESS MOST OF THE MOVIE AND THOUGH THAT THE GANG THOUGHT THE SAME ABOUT HIM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH

---

WELP, TIME TO COPE WITH INAPPROPRIATE HUMOR

Shaggy: I yelled at my dog, got him kidnapped, and ended up helping the bad guy to open the gates to Hell. Guess I’ll die. 

Dee Dee: Well actually, this is more Dastardly’s fault because -

Shaggy, yelling as he slams his hand against the lock: GUESS I’LL DIE!!!

----

Ah, so the writers wrote themselves into a corner, and the only way out was a Deus Ex Machina (at least, I think I’m using that term correctly…) 

Because to get Shaggy back, a giant statue of Alexander the Great and Peritas appears out of nowhere - literally, since it definitely wasn’t there before - with an inscription Scooby has to read to get Shaggy back.

This would have been a lot more effective if we’d seen it when Dastardly arrived in Greece - maybe even as the marker for where the gate to the Underworld was. Have Alexander facing one way, and Peritas facing the other. You open the gate on Alexander’s side, and come home on Peritas’ side. Having this unfold into the gate gives it more purpose than “magically appears right the fcuk outta nowehere” and you could have a pun with the “backdoor” escape. Everybody wins!

And if that’s too good for ya, how about a brief lingering shot by it at some point as Dastardly flies into Greece, behind where the gate materializes, or directly across from it on the plaza? Maybe have one of the gang kick it after Shaggy leaves, and say ‘This is all your fault! Why would you make something like this?’

It’d still be a magical contrivance, but at least it would make some fcuking SENSE.

(Granted it DID lead to this hilariously ominous shot, so maybe I shouldn’t complain:)

---

Velma: I finally figured out what you guys are! You’re the heart of Mystery Inc.

Me: YEAH BABY! *flips over table* I’VE BEEN SAYING THAT SHIT FOR YEARS AND NOW, I’M FCUKING VALIDATED AT LAAAAAAAAST!

----

Shaggy: *rips off Dastardly’s face to reveal…*

ALL: SIMON COWELL??!?

Me, choking on food: I’m sorry WHAT?!?!?

Velma: *takes off mask again to reveal*

ALL: DICK DASTARDLY?!?

Dastardly: Drat! No one ever goes for the double unmasking. 

So I was right all along - Simon Cowell truly was a Dick this entire time.

-----

And so we close on the gang unveiling a Mystery Machine paint job on their official detective agency building, Brian Falcon living the good life as the DJ at their party, the Falcon team gifting a sleek new Mystery Machine to the gang (which honestly looks pretty unique - it’s not the classic, but it is something new that isn’t awful, so kudos there), and the gang on their way to another mystery.

So, at the end of the day is this a good Scooby movie? 

Meh? *waves hand in meh motion* But it definitely had its moments. 

This Scooby film is flawed as heck, no doubt about it - the plot has a MAJOR problem with telling instead of showing, some parts feeling out of order or WAY too short, and of course the deus ex machina ending. I honestly would have loved some more time for their first mystery as kids, where we actually got more character moments/bonding from Fred, Daphne, and Velma as they solved it the more traditional route, as well as not framing FD&V as super duper mystery solvers right off the bat??? 

The stuff with Blue Falcon isn’t AWFUL, per se, but it is ridiculously satisfying to see him get smacked around. Captain Caveman was honestly one of the funniest bits in the movie, same with Dynomutt. 

As far as the character stuff? It all felt fairly natural, progression-wise. Shag and Scoob don’t have this big break-up with the gang - they’re hurt by the literal Dickhead’s comments the gang don’t speak up against, and go to blow off some steam together. Shag and Scoob don’t have this giant blow-up argument - it builds over the film into a hurt spat they both recognize they overreacted to almost immediately. The gang (FDV) go looking for them almost as soon as they leave, and, upon hearing they’re in danger, turn and head towards them to save them, realizing how important the two are to Mystery Inc along the way. They defend each other, help each other, have some of the Best Dang Animated Mystery Inc hugs I ever did see - THIS feels more like the Gang I’ve been waiting for forever to come back to DTV (and in a rough sense, did). While I do wish we’d gotten more screen time of FD&V, what we got wasn’t too bad. 

Weirdly enough, at the end of the day, I’ve actually grown more accustomed to Forte’s Shaggy - it feels like it fits this different style a touch more than I originally thought, and holy hell if I didn’t come close to tears at that ending gate scene, he knocked that one out of the park.  Velma still doesn’t feel much like Velma, but I did get used to it by the end. I kept cracking up at Efron’s Fred, and no complaints on Seyfried’s Daphne.

Jason Isaacs as Dick Dastardly absolutely killed it. Blue Falcon Crew was okay (excepting Mark “The Racist” Wahlburg - it was just him talking, no real effort. You could recognize Wahlburg right off the bat, acting as a goofy douche) and freaking Captain Caveman was awesome. Apparently they combined both Billy West and Don Messick’s recordings for Muttley (awesome!!!), so this may very well be Don Messick’s final role in a Scooby Doo film. 

It got off to a rough start, but ended well enough. The animation was solid, the writing has some unexpectedly clever and funny moments sprinkled throughout, with some pretty fun action sequences on the side. Watching this, I really do believe that the people working on it love Scooby Doo and all things Hanna-Barbera… at least in their own way. 

I ended up buying this instead of just renting it ($5 more, why not) and I am honestly glad I did so. Despite its flaws, it has some great moments with the gang as friends, and I have been Craving That Shit for DECADES

And if these writers/directors ever did another Scooby film? I think I’d be up for giving them a chance - at least so long as we got some more absolutely BEAUTIFUL hugs with the gang

I hope you enjoyed this stream-of-consciousness reaction to SCOOB! (2020)... a whole ass year LATER, admittedly (I didn’t switch my Save Post to Queue, curse my hubris), but hopefully y’all’ve been entertained. Good night everybody!