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bonny-kookoo · 4 years ago

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A machine that feels:

One does, one doesn’t | SHORT | PJM x MYG x Reader | ❤️🌩🔞❗️🤖

Pairing: platonic(?) PJM x Reader, platonic(?) MYG x Reader, JJK x reader

Genre: romance, Android!AU, Angst!!, mature

Warnings: past sexwork (it’s only a tiny bit mentioned but still), poor robo boys were treated like trash, but it’s okay they’re in good hands now, confusion, clumsy yoongi- but more like verbally clumsy you’ll get it trust me, timid jimin, he’s so soft, do I smell romance blooming hmm...

Summary: seeing Jungkooks drastic changes into a right direction, both Hoseok and Taehyung decide to bring their Androids, Yoongi and Jimin, two former pleasure bots to the shelter- to introduce them to you and Kook, and maybe help them recover just as great as the military Android did. But there’s the issue; while jimin wants to learn how to feel, Yoongi doesn’t seem to be too eager to learn..

Jimin likes to feel.

It’s somewhat of a little reminder that, against what’s always said about him and his kind, he is actually alive, and doesn’t just pretend to be. He doesn’t understand most of the emotions he’s gone through in the past, the fear of openly expressing them still present, even though he knows that he’s not forced to be a certain way anymore. He’s still filled with bitter fear, and embarrassment whenever he interprets something wrong.

The only way he knows how to express his emotions was physical, after all.

It’s still heavily frustrating to him that Taehyung doesn’t want that from him. Jimin isn’t sure why the young man bought him in the first place; his whole purpose was physical pleasure, so why was this person telling him that he’s more than that?

He tries to make sense of it, but he can’t find any conclusion that seems logical for him. He knows he’s bad at household chores, barely managing to operate the rice cooker at this point. He’s bad at doing laundry, since his eyes had been damaged and can’t distinguish color that well anymore. He’s not very helpful at helping his new owner around the animal shelter either- too fearful of hurting the dogs and cats and little pets around to really do anything by himself.

He wants to be helpful, but he can’t think of a way he could ever be.

And it fills him with confusing emotions he doesn’t understand, things he detects as sadness and dissatisfaction and disappointment in himself. He just wants to understand.

He just wants to feel.

Yoongi however, doesn’t.

He knows what’s hate, knows what’s anger, knows what’s frustration; his past owner having joked around that the hit to his head had knocked some human sense into him by accident.

And he hates it.

He doesn’t get why Jimin craves to understand emotions so much. He’d been totally comfortable being used every day back at the place he’d been employed- it had been irrational that he had suddenly felt something like disgust at being touched by strangers. He doesn’t know himself why he suddenly started to hate physical contact, doesn’t understand why his body suddenly didn’t listen to basic commands anymore.

Maybe he had been broken when blow had hit his head.

Because there’s moments he feels guilty about something he can’t seem to pinpoint. When he gets into a argument with Jimin or Hoseok, he tends to use harsh words, and it doesn’t hurt him immediately like he knows it should. It bites him back way later however, when he has to observe the aftermath of his actions and words used, and even though he knows he has all the right to talk like he does, he still feels guilt. He still feels sadness. He still feels..

Tired.

He’s an Android, so simply charging should help his body regain energy again. At first he’d thought his batteries might have been damaged as well, but their capacity was still at 97%- a healthy amount for an Android his age.

So why did he feel tired all the time? Exhausted even?

He really didn’t want to feel.

Jimin watches the small puppies with worried optics as they all excitedly run towards him, instantly trying to crawl all over him as they Nop on his clothes or play with their litter mates around him. “He likes you.” A female voice comments, and his system instantly craves to know who it belongs to.

Turning around, he spots a female human, smiling at him gently as she opens the gate carefully, stepping inside the playpen the puppies are running around as she sits down close to him. It feels weird to have her so close, for some odd reason it makes him nervous.

He’s nervous often nowadays.

“What’s your name?” She asks, and jimin swallows, trying to sort out his current system operations and scans before he stutters.

“J-M095.” He answers, because that’s what his name was. But you simply giggle. Did he say something wrong?

“So you’re Jimin, yeah? Taehyung had told me about you.” She says, and he nods. If you’ve heard about him, you know of his purpose- and he’d learned that humans weren’t too fond of conversing much with a pleasure bot. “It’s nice to meet you.” You suddenly say however, bowing a bit as you still smile friendly. “I’m Y/N.” You tell him, and he nods, throat suddenly dry.

He has to avert his eyes, your visuals too strong for his internal system to fully support at the moment. You know what he is, right? Why were you so nice to him? He was just an Android-

“Baby!” A Voice says, and Jimin turns, spotting a young man- no, an Android, giving you something. A water bottle? “Please rehydrate. You have not consumed any water in the last 52 Minutes.” He says, and you get up, accepting the bottle as the Android leans closer until his dark hairs can touch your face-

A kiss?

Jimi a optics move frantically before he hastily averts them, feeling weird to have witnessed this. He knows what that gesture was, what it meant, but he wouldn’t have thought that you.. but another scan of the other Android just tells him that it’s a military model with a rebooted system. Yet when his eyes follow the dark haired Android named JJK walk over to the bigger dogs he’s even more confused.

Why is he petting them?

Now, again, jimin knows what this gesture means to humans. But androids can’t feel satisfaction or other positive feelings from simply touching an animals coat.

Right?

“Aren’t they cute?” You comment, and jimin perks up, before averting his eyes again.

“I.. guess they do possess all distinctive features to be considered as such, yes.” He says, and you notice the very unique sound of his voice. There’s a very mild metallic undertone to it that you think you could fix if he’d ever let you- and one of his optics also seems to be faulty, as it moves quite slow and erratically compared to the other.

“Hmhm.” You say. “But do you think they’re cute?” You ask, and Jimin looks at the puppies. There’s several running around, playing and roughhousing with their brothers and sisters. He’s more comfortable with the lone one currently clumsily climbing into his lap however. It’s shy and seems to shake a little, watching her mates with a sense of slight fear. “You can pet her. I think it would help her feel less scared.” You say gently, and Jimins hand slowly comes down, touching the soft fur of the puppy, jumping away a bit as it looks up, trying to lick at his palm. He tried again, and feels a weird sense of comfort run through his system.

He likes this.

“You’re cute too, Jimin.“ You day, and Jimin suddenly looks up, furrowing his brows. It’s the first real glimpse of his face you get. „I know you’ll say no, but humans think of things as cute when they appeal to them in a certain way too.“ you explain, your past experiences with Jungkook helping you to explain these things to the Android in front of you.

“Taehyung says I can no longer offer my services.” He hesitantly says, and watches as your cheeks turn a bit red in embarrassment. He likes the giggle that escapes you however.

“I- that’s-“ you start, before you clear your throat. „And that’s true. You should decide on your own with whom you want to connect like this. You’re your own person.” You say, and Jimin nods.

Maybe he wasn’t yet.

But maybe he was becoming his own person.

“I do not think that a bunch of old felines can fix the errors in my system” Yoongi comments, as he’s practically shoved into the cat-room by Hoseok. He flips down in the middle of the room like a child throwing a tantrum, simply sitting with his arms and legs crossed, uncaring and passive as he hears Hoseok sigh.

“Just.. try.” He mumbles, before his presence leaves.

Yoongi is alone for a while.

His scans show several bodies inside the room with him, but nothing moves for a while as he waits. If he lets himself think about it, if he were to be a cat, he wouldn’t get close to him neither. There’s no reason to; he has no food to offer, doesn’t know how to properly play with cats, and they all seem too old to enjoy these things either.

But he feels connected to them, in a way.

Because he too, is an old model with outdated soft- and hardware, that no one wants anymore. Maybe they should built shelters for androids? But then again, he could also simply be scrapped for parts as a last purpose. He doesn’t understand why that has not happened yet.

“Oh?” A female voice sounds, and suddenly, there’s movement.

The old bodies awake, stretching their limbs before they start to move towards the origin of the sound. “They like you.” He comments, and your body comes into the range of his sight, as you sit down in front of him. He’s not interested in humans, but he does note that you are a very visually appealing person. You nod, before putting some treats into his lap. He doesn’t know if he should be offended or confused by the action. “What’s the purpose of that?”he asks, before picking up the small bag.

“They’re a little wary of you- you’re new, and they haven’t had the best experience with people until now. So-“ you say, opening the bag for him when you notice him struggling. His body was weak these days- but he was glad that you weren’t commenting on it. “Sometimes you gotta help them a bit. Lure them in, you know?” You say with a smile, before you show him how you put a treat on your knee, bringing the cats closer.

He mimics that action.

He watches them intently, until he hears you giggle. “You’re making them nervous if you watch them like a predator.” You say, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels shy, but his system doesn’t seem to be in his control suddenly. “What’s your name?” You ask, and he scoffs a little.

“You already know who I am, and why I was brought here. Your question is simply used to lead to something you call ‘smalltalk’ which is something I’m not interested in participating.” He says, and immediately wants to slap himself. He doesn’t know why he feels the urge to do it, but he does- the guilt flowing into his veins as he awaits you leaving. But he can only sense you nod.

“That’s okay. We can just be quiet then.” You say, and his system halts for a second or two. Because he doesn’t want you to be silent- he likes the sound of your voice, he just doesn’t want to talk. There’s no input he could give, because all his words ever did was hurt and offend.

And even though he doesn’t know you, he doesn’t want you to feel neither of those things.

“You’re..” he starts, suddenly feeling weirdly hesitant. “In an intimate relationship with one of the androids here. JJK.” He states, and you nod, with no hesitation he could detect. You didn’t seem shameful at all about it.

“What about it?” You ask, and he slowly reaches out his hand towards a scruffy looking cat that seems weak on his legs. He slowly leans forward to sniff the hand of the Android however, as Yoongis optics watch the scene intently.

“That’s not his purpose.” He states, and you nod again.

“He doesn’t have one these days.” You say, and yoongis brows furrow as his face shows confusion. You decide to explain as the scruffy cat suddenly bumps his head into the palm of the Android, who begins to scratch the cats neck as if on autopilot. “He can decide on his own. The relationship is because we both love each other a lot- I’d never force anything on him.” You say, and Yoongi nods in confirmation as the other cats slowly brush their body’s against his back and knee.

They’re becoming comfortable around him.

And he can’t help but feel as if it’s because he’s comfortable with you.

“This is very inconvenient.” Yoongi comments, as Jimins worried expression shows how sorry he feels for the words of the older Android.

“He doesn’t mean it like that-“ he starts, but Yoongi cuts him off.

“I do.” He says, and you laugh as Jungkook brings you some parts you’ve requested.

“It’s fine. I know it’s not as professional as it could be.” You say, and Jungkook sits down close to you as his arm places itself around your middle while he watches you work on Yoongi’s arm.

“It’s better than nothing. Your physical strength had been declining to a mere 32%- after swapping these parts you’ll be up to almost 80% again.” He comments. “You should express a bit more gratefulness considering this is done out of pure generosity.” He says, icy blue optics watching Yoongis red ones.

“Please don’t fight-“ Jimin says, and Jungkook turns around to face the shorter Android.

“We are- not fighting though?” He says, and you giggle again. Everyone turns towards you.

“Guys please let me work, you can all be cute later.” You say.

“Your Home is very nice.” Jimin says as he sits on the couch with a cup of warm tea in his hands. He likes the feeling of warmth against his skin.

“It’s very small.” Yoongi deadpans, and Jimin looks at him instantly, as Yoongi grumbles out. “But it.. fits the definition of a ‘home’ quite well, I suppose..”

The corners of Jungkooks lips turn upwards into a small smile as he looks at you next to him. “It is a home.” He confirms.

And maybe, it’ll become a home to them too, one day.

#bts imagine #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts reactions #jungkook #yoongi imagine #min yoongi imagine #park jimin #park jimin x reader #jimin x reader #jimin imagine #yoongi x reader #min yoongi

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loudest-subtext-in-tv · 4 years ago

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Something I know no one will ever contend with when they just want to write a hit piece about us, but...

When Moffat said on the A Scandal in Belgravia commentary, “If you watch the show carefully, there’s subtext about John’s drinking,” what did he mean? He wasn’t being flippant, he’s said one of his favorite writers is William Goldman and writers should study him because he “knows everything.” Goldman’s Ten Commandments on Writing say to “put a subtext under every text” and not to be too on the nose.

So what is the “real” subtext to why John drinks, and why does John drink when he’s alone with Sherlock and trying to get him to open up, or otherwise thinking about Sherlock? If the subtext is not about John’s relationship with Sherlock, then like... who else is in the room in those scenes, what’s going on, who is John actually thinking about, and why is it so important to the story that Moffat would include it? What storyline does the subtext of John’s drinking pertain to? It must be pretty big to not have been revealed yet, so it shouldn’t be hard to make a case for.

Similarly: When Moffat and Gatiss say that The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, a movie noteworthy for depicting Holmes as a homosexual in love with Watson, is the inspiration for their adaptation, what do people imagine they adapted from it? Because it wasn’t the characterization, they don’t much resemble the BBC Sherlock characterizations. Barely any plot points were borrowed, and minor ones at that. Why did they pick the big overtly gay adaptation for the basis of their show from a hundred straight alternatives? Why did Gatiss say the thing he liked about it was that Holmes was in love with Watson?

I mean, I know people who hate us will never actually watch it, but the movie is not subtle. The movie isn’t a bunch of gay gags, the movie makes very clear that Holmes is genuinely homosexual and in love with Watson in a deeply painful way that queer people can recognize and relate to, and the same vibe is heavy in series 3 especially. For example, the endings of TSoT and HLV are not gay gags, they are things that happened in the plot and were not presented as remotely funny.

There are two reasonable perspectives on this:

1) It is not especially weird for people who pay attention to what the writers have said about their stories to think all the gay stuff is intentional, and its not weird to have fun chasing down things the writers have taken care to talk about. That’s what fans do, they try to predict where stories are going. No one made hit pieces ridiculing Jon and Daeneyrs shippers because they recognized what the foreshadowing in Game of Thrones was saying, and they were basing it off almost nothing compared to what the showrunners of Sherlock have said and taken care to include in the plot and subtext. People write hit pieces about us because they deeply believe it’s stupid for queer people to think a gay romance could be depicted, we had the misfortune of having a sense of humor about ourselves (calling it a “conspiracy” and ourselves a “cult”), and were enthusiastic about the show and writers whose fandom we’re a part of.

2) The gay stuff is intentional, but all a big joke despite appearances to the contrary. Most of the antis even argued that the gay stuff was intentional, they just thought it was to fuck with people or be provocative. Some of them were even dreading S4, including while it was airing, because they thought we were going to be proven right and we’d be insufferable. If people who hated us worried we could be right, then how delusional could we be?

I can understand someone thinking it all being a big joke is more likely than a TV show depicting a gay romance, but it does not follow that people deserve to be an object of public ridicule because they recognized a bunch of queer allusions and painful queer life experiences that resonated with them and considered that the writers, one of whom is queer and unabashedly obsessed with the works in question, may have positive motives for including those things. It feels like punishing people for doing their due diligence of actually researching the writers’ feelings about things and their influences, rather than just piling on and calling them homophobes. I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s opinions if that’s how they feel about Moffat and Gatiss nowadays, I’m just saying it’s not some shameful thing for people to actually investigate these things and conclude differently. It’s okay to think writers are talented and clever, and their fandom should be a place where it’s okay to explore that.

What makes me most sad about this is that there is genuinely no area of life where people can just play around anymore without being hunted down. Like, politics is fucking miserable, the pandemic is miserable, I just had a friend kill himself a few months ago because of how bad life is lately, a close relative who I never thought would have suicidal ideation has it now, I have been fighting wanting to die for years, in the U.S. none of us have any idea if we’re ever getting any sort of pandemic stimulus again -- so many of us are suffering immensely right now, it should be okay to be goofy and creative in a fandom without someone deciding its their prerogative to profit off us because they think we’re weird, or whatever.

The reason there’s a lot of crazy meta analysis is because this was supposed to be a relatively safe, creative place where people can try their hand at analyzing stories without being graded or made to feel inadequate, so we treat metas a lot like fanfics where it’s not really appropriate to just rip people’s shit apart no matter how illogical it is, and we find things we like about analysis we don’t agree with in that same spirit: it’s a cool idea anyway, it’s artistically inspiring, it got close to a more compelling idea, etc. I have a big packet of fan mails where several people told me they had been scared and self-conscious to share their thoughts on things, and TJLC helped them open up and inspired them to major in literary or film-related majors. People start somewhere and it’s cruel to make fun of them because they weren’t great at something that doesn’t fucking matter.

FANDOM IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A SUPER SERIOUS SPACE. NO ONE PUTS ON A TUXEDO BEFORE THEY LOG IN TO TUMBLR. NO ONE NEEDS SOME OUTSIDER TAKING THE THINGS THEY OFFERED IN THE SPIRIT OF FUN OUT OF CONTEXT TO PRESENT TO A WIDER AUDIENCE THEY DELIBERATELY AVOID BECAUSE THAT AUDIENCE IS MEAN AND SENDS THEM DEATH THREATS AND HOMOPHOBIC AND MISOGYNISTIC SLURS AND SUICIDE ADVICE. IT IS ACTUALLY NOT AN ENORMOUS CHARACTER FAILING TO SHARE BAD ANALYSES OF A TV SHOW, AND SHOULD NOT BE A MATTER OF NATIONAL INTEREST.

But places where people can open up and try things out increasingly can’t exist anymore, because even in a low stakes environment like a fandom there are busybody ghouls who want to profit off being condescending about how people spend their leisure time. It doesn’t add anything to the world except their bank accounts.

#tjlc #Sarah Z

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youarejesting · 4 years ago

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A Very Bad Day

[MASTERLIST]

Request: @hoebii

Beta: N/A Pairing: Seokjin x Reader Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Slice of Life, Drama, Romance Words: 1.2k

Summary: Kim Seokjin has a bad day and I the clever Narrator call on you to help him, just read your lines and don’t stuff up the story got it. I believe in you.

Kim Seokjin had a bad day. Well, bad was an understatement to you or me. The criteria of a bad would be getting late to work, forgetting your lunch, and that report that was due Friday was due by the end of the day. But if you think that is a bad day well then this was worse. If I had to label it for you readers then I would call this very bad.

It was unpleasant, as no one would wish to have a day like this. It was distressing, there was truly something about it that made Seokjin uneasy. It was vapid, so very dull, and unchallenging. So if your bad day is labeled bad then this was a very-unpleasant-distressing-vapid-bad day.

The events of this very-unpleasant-distressing-vapid-bad day are not only unimportant to the story of which I am telling you but also too upsetting to repeat and honestly, Seokjin would rather it wasn’t brought up again, work was work, but the home was a place free of the boss and duties and pants. Where he didn’t have to smile or apologize while getting abused because he was right and no one would listen.

So for the sake of Seokjin’s very-unpleasant-distressing-vapid-bad day, I will leave the events up to you dear reader, conjure the most horrifying deadlines and boring lectures in your mind and let’s move on to the present and more pressing matters.

Seokjin relieved himself of his bag, coat, and shoes at the door, waiting at least till the living room to dispose of his work pants. He was free from the stifling attire he associated with the stresses of his work. Promptly flopping on the living room couch in a manner one might liken to the cetacean surfacing behavior of both whales and dolphins.

After executing the perfect side breach Seokjin wiggled into the comforts of the cushions until he found a spot deemed comfortable enough to waste the next few hours on mind-numbing televised entertainment.

His comforts and distractions were unhelpful and he pulled a cushion from beside his form and promptly smacked himself in the face repeatedly with it.

I know what you are thinking and no there was no apparent reason for this behavior, no parasitic bugs crawling in his brain misfiring nerves nor was there any madness growing ill in his mind. He was as the young and hip kids were saying nowadays ‘doing it for the vine’. Which for those unfamiliar with this phrase, it means… Well, I suppose it means doing it for growth because vines are a plant that grows? Or, at least that is my interpretation and who is narrating the book here you or me?

We are getting off track dear reader Jin’s day however unpleasant, distressing, and vapid of a bad day it was, would continue to metaphorically suck if we do not fix it.

How about you start by greeting him just say the lines written using your own name and I am sure you can turn his day around. But you have to say it out loud, in a whisper, or at least mouth your lines silently, like those people who sometimes do when they try to remember something. They look at their watch and recite their appointment time or their next stop on the train. Yes, you must commit dear reader, otherwise, Jin will become sad, or think you are a ventriloquist. Let me set the scene.

Seokjin, laid there still incredibly exasperated trying to relax his mind, when his partner that’s you, my dear reader, walked in carrying a few bags of groceries.

Your smile faded at the tormented expression on his face, “Kim Seokjin, how was your day?”

“It was fine” he pulled himself to his feet and forced a smile, a smile most seen in customer service. Seokjin took the bags from your hands, always trying to prove himself useful which he honestly didn’t have to. You knew how hard he worked for you already, and you never ceased to show him gratitude and affection.

“I can tell you are lying to me, you know I can see it in your eyes,” you decided to call his bluff.

I thought for a moment we were in a somber play, do you always speak so monotonously. Perhaps say your lines with a bit of feeling, walk around your room and act this out or at least let your mind wander. I promise no one will care if you look silly, but your face might turn red.

“I don’t know what you mean, I just had a long day but I am glad to be home?” He said not turning to face you, his shoulders were tense and his hands were shaking a little.

“Jin please look at me and tell me what’s wrong?” you knew it was getting worse usually no matter how bad his day got he would eventually just let it go but today it only lingered and festered.

“I want to quit.” He said, tears streaming down his face. “I can’t be there anymore?”

“Hey, Jin, listen to me, you don’t ever have to stay in a job which you do not enjoy. If it brings you this much sorrow it isn’t worth keeping.” You said pulling his head onto your shoulder wrapped his arms around your waist and —stop blushing! Wait till the end of the scene— sobbed into your sweater. “I support you if you want to leave but for now I have a better idea.”

You guided him to the couch, a bag of snacks in hand and as you sat sideways on the couch you softly patted the space in front of you. He sat with total complaince and laid back against your chest letting you cuddle him, feeding him ice cream and his favourite crackers until the tears subsided.

Almost half the tub of ice cream had been devoured before he was reduced to a few sniffles here and there. Pressing kisses to his crown, you continued to hold him because it was warm, because he deserved unconditional love and comfort in this scary moment it was a big decision to leave one's job.

“I love you!”

Wait I didn’t tell you to say that how did you—

“Seokjin you are kind and selfless putting others before yourself. You even thought to hide your sadness so as not to bring me down. But we share this burden. You are talented, a tremendous cook and you work so hard, at home at work even in your hobbies. You are the funniest guy I know and I love when you laugh because it makes my heart flutter. I know it is scary to think you are losing your job but I will be there for you, physically, emotionally, financially. You are my worldwide handsome.”

Seokjin turned to face you wiping at his damp eyes, —excuse me this is my story since when did I tell you you could take over— you grabbed his cheeks and pulled him forward into a kiss that tasted like a boysenberry swirl ice cream.

So I guess when you think about it, this day was not as ‘bad’ as it might seem. It was not all unpleasant as with you Seokjin was quite pleased, it was distressing but he found himself easily de-stressing in your arms. It wasn’t vapid as he made a change and it would be challenging, and though it wasn’t the best day it was definitely a good afternoon.

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lesserfandomappreciation · 4 years ago

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Hello! It's been a while, hope you're doing well! I have returned for some more sweet sweet headcanons! Can you do date headcanons for Arthur, Jack and the tripplets?

Hello hello! I’m doing well! How are you?

I can absolutely do some for the sweet boys, they’re wonderful!

Date (RSaT7D)

Arthur

Canon-wise he’s the only character we have any clue about when it comes to dates. Golden Goose Avenue has been his go-to for quite some time! When Merlin ‘I have the dating experience of a chipmunk’ the Wizard teases somebody about date locations, you know that Arthur has probably gone their for every single date in the past two years.

Having said that, that’s all before the events of the movie. His character grows a lot during the movie and likely, his date location preferences and activities have changed accordingly.

In the past, it was all about getting to show off himself. Going to Excalibur to boast, Golden Goose Avenue to show off how much of a good time he can show them, go in for a smooch. Rather unoriginal but consistent if nothing else. Nowadays though, his dating style is less about showing off about himself and more about tailoring it to the person he is with.

It’s sweet! But he’s not super good at it yet. It takes time spent with another person for him to really get how to do that. At the start instead of doing one or two things the person likes, he tries to fit everything he knows they enjoy into a single day. That’s a lot. His date wouldn’t be an evening, it’d be a whole-day event, one that only his date would have the power to stop. Well, assuming they know how to without being destroyed by Arthur’s sad puppy face.

Practice makes perfect and the more dates he goes with his crush and/or s/o, the better he gets at it.

It should be noted that he will still find some minor way to show off, but it would be in context to what his partner likes. Ex: He can carry all their library books, climb whatever needs climbing to get something from a high spot, etc.

Jack

Smooth. Loaded with common sense. Charming, even. Jack has got it all. The emotional intelligence alone should make him an easy winner when it comes to dating. He’s even got the connections to some of the best spots in town - he’ll strut into the best restaurant like it’s nothing.

If only oh only it wasn’t for that ridiculous ego of his. The reasoning is unknown but it appears that every single member of the F7 have an inherent habit - nay, need - to show off as much as possible in front of someone they’re interested in.

The mad lad thought that a good first gift to a woman he just met was a giant diamond ring the size of his fist. That’s not tame. That’s completely going wild with cash, somehow guesstimating a stranger’s ring size and going right off the deep end.

Dates with Jack are (before and after the movie, he’s still got some learning in him) chances to flex hard. He’s not going shopping on the first date; the prince is a self-made prince, he recognizes that there are those who would take advantage of that. He gets to know them in a restaurant. The best one in town. The 5 star one you need an appointment for. And fancy wear.

Subsequent dates are no better. The more he trusts and genuinely cares for someone, the more he wants to provide for them. It’s his love language, he can’t help it. S/o is going to have to be the one to pump the brakes and get him to slow down - especially if they’re not 100% comfortable with that.

Pino

A date? Like, as in the fruit? No? Then he’s got no idea what anyone is talking about. Pino may be the eldest of three and the most mature of them, but he’s never really had time to pursue a love life. A lot of his time has been spent on inventions and his family, both his brothers and the F7, so dating is out of his circle of experience.

Dating is about getting to know one another right? So... maybe he should invite them to somewhere that really shows who he is. That’s brilliant! Let’s go with that! Pino’s logic is sound enough leading him to inviting s/o on a date to place that shows who he really is - his area in the workshop!

This only works because he was able to get Noki and Kio out for the day. It didn’t take much persuading either - once they knew it was for a date they stepped out of the way willingly. He needs all the help he can get.

His invitation isn’t to see what he’s working on. That’s no fun! He invites them to help him work on it. Pino takes the lead on the project but the two of them work together to fix each part. The project takes time. Not that either really notice. A project needing completion is the time where Pino is most comfortable talking to another person; conversation flows naturally without him worrying about tripping over his words or making an ass out of himself.

The date ends with a wooden creation fully functional and ready to go. He congratulates them on completing the design though he does say the project is in the experimental phase and requires more work. Work that would definitely go by faster if they were inclined to give their aid once more. If they felt like it. Up to them, really, no pressure.

S/o had better say yes before he blabs himself into a corner.

Noki

Noki is not only experienced in romance but he’s also ridiculously excited. Picking a place for a date? There’s so many options, how’s a man to choose just the one?! His notebook is chock-full of scribbles of possible date locations, some with checks, some with x’s. The possibilities are endless here!

Unless s/o is the one to select a location, Pino and Kio are in for a long night. Noki does not rest until he’s gotten a place in mind, and his brothers know better to let him do this on his own. Staying up throughout the entire night is no way to survive anything.

An energetic ball of energy is going to want to do something that let’s him get his energy out and hang out with his s/o. What better place for that than the market square in the middle of a festival? People are everywhere with all sorts of sights and sounds to explore. It’s the perfect date spot!

The couple sets off into the festival center intent on seeing every corner of it. Ever-flexible, Noki will be down for any festival activity his s/o is interested in. Festival food is delicious, rides are a blast.

Trying out the game booths is always fun but comes with a double-warning. Noki is no better than Arthur about showing off and as a marksmen, he’s got a mean aim with a crossbow. Should s/o’s eyes wander to a prize he’s going to compete for it. If the game is rigged, which given this is a festival booth it undoubtedly is, the nerd part of him is going to be indignant and he will take time to calculate on how to beat it anyway.

Overall, his dates are light-hearted and fun. Getting to know each other will open up the door to other energetic fun dates.

Kio

What Kio needs is an occasional break from his brothers. Dates absolutely count as breaks. That’s why he doesn’t tell them where he’s going for a date. Actually he doesn’t tell them he’s going on a date - it’s assumed/well-known that as the youngest, they get protective and he’s just not in the mood to deal with that when going on a date.

Any date that is quieter is Kio’s preference. He’d rather leave it up to s/o’s preference, but any location with less people is his choice. The F7 are noisy enough as is - a nice break from that would be greatly appreciated. Nature walks are a good one. Nature both inspires future creations and is inherently more peaceful than any overcrowded town square.

A walk over to a wonder of nature would be a good date for him. They would head off in the cooler part of the day, wandering down the trail with sunlight spattering the forest floor on the occasional breeze. The entire walk conversation flows naturally, with quiet moments to really enjoy the sights and sounds.

That fact that he chose the woods specifically because of Noki’s intense pollen allergy and Pino’s inherent need to mother his brothers when one of them gets ill is a factor he need not mention. If it throws them off from watching his dad, it works.

By the time they do reach their destination - be it the side of a mountain or a simple meadow - Kio is whipping out the picnic basket and sharing a good meal with them. It’s impossible to not enjoy the afternoon with this sensitive soul as they enjoy the day away. It truly is a nice break for them.

#rsat7d #rsat7d imagine #arthur #jack #pinoy #nokia 5.3 #kio #imagine

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hees-theman · 5 years ago

Text

Mistake at the First Sight (Chapter III)

CHAPTER THREE

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Female!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Enemies to Lover

Summary: You’re a transfer student from London and Park Seonghwa thought that you don’t know Korean language. Little did he know, you are actually a Korean who moved back to the place you were born.

A/N: Starting next chapter I will change my writing style to 3rd POV because I feel more comfortable that way ^^

<< Chapter Two

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Friends. That’s what he said. Friends. However, did he really want both of you to stay just as a friend? No. He feels like wanting more – scratch that. He wants something more than just a friend.

But, how can he say that to you when you are sitting across him, next to San, chatting with each other. Ever since that night, you and San are getting closer. Most of the times, San will sit next to you in the class while the other boys including Seonghwa sit behind both of you.

It’s irritating to him. It’s enough for both of you sitting next to each other during the class, but doing the same in cafeteria, well, guess who’s furious? The son of Park.

The way both you and San are laughing together bothers him a lot. Was it that funny that your eyes are almost gone from laughing happily? Was it that amusing that San’s hand keep caressing your back, trying his best to calm you down while doing the same to himself?

He wants to know what made both of you this close. He doesn’t remember you making that much conversation with the guy while at the bar. The only thing he noticed was the fact that San was the one who asked you to join them that night. However, he didn’t do it directly.

So, how can both of you become this close? As if both of you are a happy couple.

Couple. Holy. He wishes that it is not true. He wishes that San is no more than just a classmate to you. He wishes that San will never cross that line with you. He wants to convince himself that both of you aren’t together romantically. However, seeing the scene in front of him, it’s impossible to not think of it that way.

Seonghwa is too busy with his thought that he didn’t realize that San and the others already stand up on their feet to go to their class, leaving Seonghwa alone with you.

“Seonghwa,” you called but he didn’t response. You frown slightly before calling his name once again. Still, no reaction. You lean forward slightly to slap his cheek lightly, making sure that it’s not painful but enough to wake him up from his thought.

He blinks at you for a while before looking to his left and right. When did the people left? He turns to look at you before opening his mouth. “Where is everyone?”

“They all have another class. It’s Thursday, remember,” you answered his question.

Thursday – the only day that you and Seonghwa only have two classes while the others have three classes.

Seonghwa’s lip curls up into a wide smile at the sudden realization. Thursday had always been the day where Seonghwa get to spend his time alone with you. Both of you have done a lot. From watching movies to hang out at the convenient store nearby the university.

Thursday is the day where he will go back home, feeling happy and full. He loves the fact that both of you get to spend time together while your classmates are struggling trying to stay focus in the lecture.

But, his smile doesn’t last long today as he remembered the way you interacted with San earlier. Maybe you are closer to San because you get to be with him every day while with Seonghwa, both of you only have a day in a week to spend time together.

That can be the reason why you are not as close to him as you are with San.

“So, shall we go there?” Your question woke him up. He tilts his head slightly, his expression full of confusion. “Go where,” he asked.

You shake your head a bit as you look at him with a soft smile. You put both of your arms on the table and lean slightly to him.

“There is a new menu at the café in front of the university. Should we go there today?”

His eyes might be looking at you, his ears might listen to you but in his mind, there is you and San, being happy together. Should he decline your offer and spend the rest of the day filled with curiosity or go with you and ask about San?

He wants to take a rain check but today is the only day that both of you can hang out together. He doesn’t want to let the chance go but he doesn’t feel good after what he saw earlier. The fact that he overthinks it makes it even worse.

Seonghwa looks at you who are currently looking at him softly, resembling a puppy wanting a treat from its owner. Fuck, she’s cute.

Letting out a sigh, Seonghwa nods his head few times, making you smile widely at his answer. You stand up from your chair and grab your back before sling it on your shoulder.

“Let’s go.”

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“Do you want to add on anything?” The waitress asked both of you, but mainly Seonghwa as she was looking – ogling – at him with sparkles in her eyes. You bite you inner cheek at the sight.

It’s not the first time you witnessed this. Ever since both of them stepped in here, this waitress had been trying to flirt with Seonghwa whenever she got the chance to. And today is not an exceptional.

Seonghwa lifts his head up to look at you. “Do you want to order anything else,” he asked. You close the menu and shake your head without muttering a word.

He takes your menu and put it with his before handing it over to the waitress, looking at her with his charming smile on his face. “That’s all for now. Thank you.”

The waitress takes the menu and let her eyes linger on Seonghwa for extra seconds before bowing her head a bit and walk away to the kitchen.

You look down at your fingers on the table while Seonghwa looks at you. None of you bothers to mutter a single word to each other.

Your head is filled with how the waitress keep trying to gain Seonghwa’s attention and the fact that Seonghwa doesn’t notice it bothers you a lot.

You don’t know why you feel uncomfortable with the way she always looked at him with her flirty eyes. Her face plastered with the I-love-you smile. She always purposely took her time taking the menu away from him, just so that she can look at him a while longer.

It annoys you and you don’t know why – or maybe you know but refuse to acknowledge it.

“You’re so close with San nowadays.” Seonghwa’s words poofed your thoughts away and make you lift your face up to look at him.

“Yeah, I’ve been hanging out with him the past few weeks,” you said to Seonghwa, oblivious at the rapid change of his facial expression.

Just like what he thought, you and San had been spending a lot of time together which explained how both of you can be so close when it’s only been two months since you came here. Is he jealous? Yes, yes he is.

He wants to be like that with you. He wants to be able to sit next to you and laugh together with you. He wants to calm you down by caressing your back, just like San did. He wants to be intimate with you. But, he can’t. He is not that close to you.

Although both of you had been hanging out together, Seonghwa rarely initiate any type of skinship, and so do you. The last time both of you actually looked so close was when you were treating his injuries at his house. After that, it’s always casual talks like a classmate talking to another classmate.

“Are you happy with him?” He asked. Your eyes stay on him to study his expression. He is looking down now. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve say that he is sad.

“Well, we’ve been spending our time doing fun things so I guess I am happy.”

Seonghwa clench his jaw as his hands clasp together. He doesn’t know how to react to this. You just confirmed to him that both you and San are enjoying your time together. He licks his lip before looking at you, a soft smile plastered on his face.

“I hope you guys will stay together for a long time.” His words got you choked on you saliva. What the fuck is this guy talking about?

You can’t conceal the surprise expression on your face. Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. You can’t believe what just came out from his mouth.

“Why did you say that, Seonghwa?” Your question makes him twist his lip for a few moments before letting out a soft sigh. “San, he is your boyfriend, right?”

It took a while for you to react but as soon as you registered what he was saying, you burst into a laugh. He is shock at the sudden expression. Did he say something funny to make you laugh so loud until you had to hold your stomach in order to stop yourself?

“You did it once again, Park Seonghwa,” you told him after you finally calmed yourself down. He looks at you with confusion apparent on his face.

You lift up one of your hand to use your palm as a support for your chin as your eyes watch him amusingly. "San is not my boyfriend, but Jiyeon’s.”

Now it’s his turn to be surprise. How can San be Jiyeon’s boyfriend when he is so close with you? His frowns get deeper as he tries to figure out the connection.

As if reading his mind, you open your mouth to give an explanation. “That night where San invited me, he and Jiyeon had been hitting on each other ever since the new semester started. After the night, Jiyeon and San got closer than ever and few days after that, they are together.”

Seonghwa put his fingers at the bridge of his nose. His face then lit up when he realize something. “Then, why did both of you look so close? Why did he sit next to you in class every day? Why did you guys laughed happily at the cafeteria today? Where is Jiyeon?”

“Didn’t you notice that Jiyeon sit on the other side of him? He sat in the middle of us because the air conditioner was placed at the center and he doesn’t want Jiyeon to get cold so he always made us both sit on his side. Jiyeon was absent today because she fell sick and we were laughing because he showed me a picture of Jiyeon sleeping while they were on video call.”

He nods his head after you finished explaining to him. His lip slowly curls up into a smile. He can feel that his heart is finally at ease now. He feels so much better now. He was so happy in his thought that he didn’t notice you leaning in and flick his forehead, making him yelp in pain.

“Why did you do that,” he yelled as his fingers try to soothe the pain on his forehead. You stick out your tongue at him. “That’s what you get for judging something without asking again.”

As if on cue, the waitress came to your table with a tray on her hand. She put down the tray on the table to serve your food first. “Here’s aglio olio and ice tea for the lady…”

She turns to look at Seonghwa then flash a flirty smile towards him before continuing her words. “… And carbonara with milk tea for the man.”

Seonghwa turns his head to look at her before smiling softly and mutters a thank you to her with you watching the whole thing.

You feel like your eyes almost roll itself to the back and you try your best not to gag at the sight. It’s a sore for your eyes. Can’t they just act like the normal worker and customer? Can they not flirt around as if you aren’t there?

You thank god once she finally walks away from the table. Your gaze turns sharply at Seonghwa who is currently eating his food.

The way he just calmly eat his foods as if nothing happened annoys you. Didn’t this guy notice how she’s trying so hard to get to know him? Hitting on a customer should be illegal by now. It makes you feel mad.

But, if you think about it carefully, you’ve seen him around girls quite a lot of times before. The fact that he even let you in his house – a girl – and only the two of you in there says a lot about how he interact with other women. Somehow, deep inside your heart, you feel shattered… and disappointed.

Seonghwa notices that you’ve been staring at your food for few minutes now. He waves his hand in front of your face, trying to make you look at him.

“Why aren’t you eating your food?” He asked. You clear your throat and shake your head before picking up the fork and start eating your food.

None of you make conversation while eating and it had always been that way ever since both of you start hanging out together. It’s a normal thing to enjoy your foods in silence. But, why do you feel slightly uncomfortable? Is it because what happened just now?

A lot of things are running in your mind but you chose not to say anything until both you and Seonghwa finished the foods and drinks. You glance at your watch and it’s almost five o’clock in the evening.

“I’m going to toilet for a while,” you said to Seonghwa as you stand up from your seat and walk to the restroom. You turn on the tap and wash your hand with soap before turning it off and look at the mirror.

Why does it bother you so much? She is just a waitress so it is her job to be friendly with her customers. However, deep down, you know that she wants is more than just an interaction between worker and customer. She wants an interaction as a man and a woman with Seonghwa and nothing annoys you more than that.

You have to admit that Seonghwa is an attractive, charming man. His face itself screams visual and his height never fail to compliment his outfit. He can wear a sack and still looks good. His voice is soft and it almost sounds like a lullaby for you.

At first, you thought that he was just another conceited guy but no. He is a kind man. He is always nice and always take care of those around him. The thing that you love the most about him is the way he treats his friends. It almost look like he is taking care of a family.

Just the thought of it is enough to make your heart beat like crazy. Is this what love feels like?

You inhale some of the air and exhale through your mouth. You straighten your clothes and walk out of the restroom, just to see a sight that you refuse to watch.

There she is, standing in front of Seonghwa with his credit card in her hand. Her cheeks are blushing and she looks flustered. Right at that moment, Seonghwa hands her a tissue before she walks away, looking all shy.

You roll your eyes and scoff at the sight. You have watched a lot of dramas and movies to know that is a way to exchange numbers. So, this is his way of giving out his number to a woman. You stomp over the table and grab your bag.

“I’ll make my way home first,” you said and turn your heel without waiting for his response and walk out of the café.

What is wrong with her? He thought before taking his bag and follows you out of the place, trying to catch up with you.

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“So, how is it? Did he say he will contact you?” Her friend – a cashier asked behind the counter. The waitress shakes her head lightly.

“I gave him a tissue with my number on it when he called me to make a payment…” She looks down at the piece of tissue in her hand before her lip form a small smile.

“… But he rejected me by replying in here.��

She put the tissue on the counter, making it visible to her friend.

XXX-XXX-XXX

I LIKE YOU

I’m sorry but I’m in love with the girl that came with me - Seonghwa

Chapter four >>

#seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez #seonghwa imagines #park seonghwa imagines #ateez imagines #seonghwa scenarios #park seonghwa scenarios #ateez scenarios

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riverboundao3ff · 5 years ago

Text

Riverbound, Chapter 17

All in all, Lanque’s a whole lot calmer about the whole thing than you thought he’d be, which makes you feel better about going to him right away instead of Daraya. Of course you love Daraya, but knowing the kid she’d probably run off to start a fight with Bronya, Lynera, and any other poor bastard who gets in her way.

“I want to believe Bronya’s doing this because she thinks she’s in the right, but I just can’t… augh! I just… can’t believe she’d ask me to do something like that.” You conclude your messy rant by flopping down on the carpet. There’s a dull ache in your skull from either exhaustion or anxiety, possibly both.

Lanque’s looking down at you from the loveseat in the corner like the universe’s most judgemental therapist, sprawled across the whole thing with his gangly self. “You haven’t known her nearly as long as I have. You heard me say once that she’s the craziest bitch in the whole cloister. I meant it.”

You want to argue with him; Bronya isn’t crazy, just a control freak, but that’s gonna have to be a discussion for another time. “You’re not surprised at all by this? Not even a little?”

“Not surprised. Just… disappointed.”

“What, does she make you to sleep at certain times and check your palmhusk, too?” you joke.

“Not anymore, she doesn’t. She learned her lesson after I filled my whole camera roll with the spiciest nudes you can imagine.”

You try not to imagine anything of the sort and fail miserably. Your last brain cell hangs on for dear life. “So, uh… w-what should I tell her the next time we go out?”

“Tell her that I’ve been taking Daraya to a slam poetry club. We’ve actually done poetry in the past, so it’s not like you’ll be lying,” he says with a smirk. “You should come sometime. Talk to people about all sorts of controversial alien opinions. Maybe throw in some rhymes while you’re at it.”

“Alright,” you agree.

“... Darling?”

“Yes, babe?”

“Don’t breathe a word of this to Daraya. She’s stressed out enough as it is.”

“Of course not.”

“Good.”

:::

The next night you spend with Polypa, vandalizing stuff with the Heiress’s face on it and even setting a billboard on fire. It’s a lot of fun, but between vandalizations you can’t stop yourself from thinking about the girl herself. From what you can tell she’d be around seventeen in human years, which meant she’d soon have to challenge the Empress, as all the Heiresses before her did.

Some teenagers like to play video games, some like to sing or dance or do sports; you even know a few who live all by themselves on an island in the middle of the ocean who can shoot guns better than most military personnel. But not Trizza Tethis. No, she’ll be off to duel for the throne… and her life.

In your hearts of hearts you know that Tethis is a monster. There’s no doubt about it. But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s still just a kid, a kid who is going to be murdered soon for the crime of reaching adulthood.

It makes your heart hurt just thinking about that, and all of the other girls that came before her, and if this rebellion goes to shit all the girls who will come after her.

“Hey, Polypa?” you ask.

“Yeah?” She’s hanging upside-down on some broken piping while spraying THE REVOLUTION IS HERE on the side of a post office. You’re being a good moirail and keeping watch for anybody who might see her, even though it’s dark out and you can’t see much past the street lights lining the sidewalk. For some reason she refuses to tell you, she’s been in a mood ever since she came back from Tegiri’s, but you’re patient. You can wait for her.

“Do you ever wonder if Trizza might have been a good person if Alternia wasn’t the way it is?”

Polypa stops what she’s doing and stares down at you. “Honestly? I don’t really care how she might have turned out if things were different. All the things I’ve seen her do, the shit I’ve heard her say on social media… I just can’t bring myself to believe anything other than she’s one of the most horrible Heiresses Alternia’s ever had and that she deserves to die. Slowly and painfully, that is. And then she deserves to be forgotten.”

“That’s fair,” you tell her. “I dunno, I just kept thinking about how she’s supposed to go off and duel the Empress soon, and that she’s definitely not gonna win, because none of the fuschias who went up against her ever did.”

“... Does that make you sad?”

“It makes me sad that a kid is going to die, yes.”

She huffs. “Save your sympathy. She doesn’t deserve it.”

“Can trolls control who they sympathize with?”

“Of course we can. Can’t humans?”

You laugh. “No. Or at least I can’t. Empathy’s a blessing and a curse.”

Polypa chucks her spray-paint can into the nearby dumpster. “Empathy? Isn’t that like, feeling what other people are feeling? I thought that was just a myth.”

“Some humans can feel the emotions of others. I’ve always been able to.”

“That sucks.”

“Again, it’s a blessing and a curse.”

Polypa shudders, flips upright, and then drops down to the concrete. “If you say so. C’mon, let’s scram.”

You scram, or at least you try to before somebody bumps into you hard enough to nearly knock you over.

“Watch it!” Polypa hisses from somewhere behind you.

You look up at a boft looking (buff plus soft) rustblood guy, who flinches back when he accidentally looks you in the eye. “Sorry! Sorry. Bye.”

He shuffles off down the street, shoulders hunched in like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible even though he’s easily the biggest rust you’ve ever seen. Huh.

“Well, that was weird,” you say, and then you feel something crinkle in the hood of your jacket. Cautiously, you reach up and grab it, hoping that he didn’t just put a bomb on you or something. You aren’t that worried about dying, because you know your immortal ass is coming right on back, but if Polypa’s in the blast zone--

“It’s a piece of paper,” she says.

“Oh, yay. I thought it might be a bomb.”

“Definitely not a bomb.”

The paper’s been folded several times, so you smooth it out and read the letters that have been cut out and glued out in a note, like some kind of Nancy Drew shit.

“What the…” You read the message, and then you read it again, once, twice, thrice, four times before Polypa starts swatting at you and grabbing for the paper. You hand it over and stare out across the street.

You are not alone. Tomorrow at midnight.

“I’m texting the others,” Polypa mutters, shoving the paper into her pocket and whipping out her palmhusk.

“There’s more of us,” you whisper. “That’s what it means, right? We’re not the only faction out there fighting for-!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, let’s not believe anything that some stranger wrote down on a piece of paper and shoved into your hoodie--”

“But he came to me, Polypa--”

“Hey!”

Both of you turn around to see some cerulean girl you don’t know storming across the street to you. “The fuck you think you gutterbloods are doing, huh?”

“The revolution is here, bitch,” you tell her, and you grab Polypa’s sleeve and zap away.

Polypa does not hesitate to smack you upside the head the second you two appear on the roof of some building downtown. “The hell was that? She just saw an alien and an oliveblood teleport out of an alley with fresh graffiti on the post office!”

“Who’s gonna believe her?” you snort.

“She’s a cerulean, she’ll make somebody believe her.”

“Dude. Chill. We still have time before things get crazy.”

“Apparently not! Tomorrow at midnight--”

“I know! Isn’t it great? What if it’s like, a big post on Chittr, or a public service announcement from God knows where saying that it’s time for bigots to start shitting their pants, because the revolution is here and it is sexy!”

“Augh!” Polypa throws up her hands. You start to get a little concerned. “Aren’t you scared? Like, at all? We could all die tomorrow and you’re just… totally fine! You disappear for half a sweep and come back ready to lead a revolution!”

Alright, it’s time to bring out the big guns. Slowly, so she has time to pull away if she wants, you step forward and reach up to caress her cheek.

The effect is instantaneous. She visibly loosens up from horns to toes, leaning forward into the contact with a low chirrup rising up from deep in her throat. If you were a troll, that sound would have probably made you pale-horny to the max, but you’re human so all you do is just stand up on your tippy-toes to press your foreheads together. You imagine pulling away all of her fear and stress and releasing it into the open sky, never to be seen again.

“We’re not going to die,” you tell her. “We’re just not. And if we were, I’d tell you, because dying isn’t that bad. Doesn’t even hurt, really.”

“... You’ve been dead before?”

“Yeah. Feels like the best fucking nap you’ve ever taken.”

She snorts hard enough for you to feel her breath across your face. “Only you would say something like that and be completely unbothered.”

“That’s just how it be sometimes,” you say, because joking about your trauma and having anxiety are basically your only two personality traits nowadays.

“I’ll write that down for the pile,” she says, because she’s always been able to see right through you, even when you can’t see yourself. “Which we’re going back to an abandoned apartment building to do once I yeet this glass bottle into that window over there.”

She picks up the broken glass bottle at your feet and proceeds to do just that. It sails through the air with all the majesty of an eagle and crashes through somebody’s office window. You know enough about troll romance by now to be a little scandalized by how forward she’s being, but you both know it’s out of necessity. Troll language is far from just verbal-- it’s flattened ears or bared fangs or dilated pupils. It’s hissing and chirping and growling and all sorts of sounds you don’t even know the names for, and you can’t even hear most of them because they’re either too low or too high a pitch for your human ears to catch.

“Hot damn, wildcat. You gonna take me out to dinner before you throw me down on somebody’s abandoned loungeplank?” you tease. Her face lights up in green, and you grin in satisfaction as she splutters something about saving it for the respiteblock.

You’re about to cook up something truly slutty to say when her palmhusk vibrates. Polypa reads it and snorts. “Aaaannnddd Daraya is losing her mind, Tagora says it’s a trap, Tyzias wants to know what the rustblood looked like, Stelsa is in agreement with Tagora, Lanque is asking how the hell it could be a trap when the rustblood didn’t even ask you to meet him anywhere, and Mallek is telling everybody to shut up so he can take a nap. Konyyl and Azdaja haven’t responded yet. I bet they’re making out in a back alley somewhere. Oh, Tagora is telling Lanque to shut his Troll Twilight-looking ass up before he fines him for wasting the rebellion’s time… and Tyzias just sent a bunch of hysterical laughing emojis.”

“I love my friends,” you say.

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.”

“I’m gonna get Mallek to hack the server so whenever people start arguing over stupid stuff a bot starts spamming the chat with gifs of fighting purrbeasts.”

“Do group chats have servers?”

“I have no idea. Come on, I’m fucking freezing up here.”

:::

Your memories of growing up on Earth are fuzzy at best. You have no idea if it’s from Scratch, or Ultimate Dirk, or hell, maybe it’s just regular old brain damage, but one of the few things you can vividly remember is when your grandma died.

You can’t remember her name, but you can easily recall her eternally-smiling face, that smile that always reached her eyes-- hazel, like yours. She’s the one who taught you how to braid your hair, wing your eyeliner, ask out a crush. She also taught you how to take down a grown man with nothing but your fists and a pocketknife. Old age hadn’t ever been a problem for your grandma. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.

The morning your uncle found in her lifeless in bed hadn’t felt any different than all of the mornings before. You just woke up and started to get ready for school, and then your mom… yeah, it was your mom who picked up the phone. She didn’t cry, but your uncle did.

It was a heart attack.

Your mom told you that you didn’t have to go to school, but you were still pretty young, and it still felt like every other morning before so you went to school.

You’re not sure why you’re remembering this when you first smell the smoke, or see the burning buildings from the roof of the abandoned apartment building you and Polypa crashed in. Maybe it’s because it still feels like every other night before this one.

Something deep in you that’s been irreversibly interwoven with time and space begins to tingle. This is a turning point in history, you just know it.

Polypa’s shaking her head like she can’t believe what she’s seeing. “It’s a riot. A riot. In Thrashthrust. We really aren’t…”

“Alone,” you finish with a smile so big it hurts your face.

“... Do you think this is really the right thing to do?”

“A wise man from my planet once said that riots are the language of the unheard.” You turn to her and take her hands in your own. “So let’s make them hear us.”

You’re not sure what you were expecting when you drop yourself and Polypa into downtown Thrashthrust, but you definitely weren’t expecting to almost get run over by Konyyl and Azdaja, both panting, sweaty, and smelling faintly of smoke.

Konyyl yelps and jumps about a foot in the air. “WHAT the-- oh, hi, guys. You didn’t scare me, I just… yeah.”

“Dude, what is all this? This is incredible!” you crow.

An explosion rocks the ground, followed by a giant plume of fire that shoots up into the sky just one street over. Azdaja whoops in delight, and Konyyl cheers even louder as a piece of flaming metal you think used to be a scuttlebuggy sails through the air and takes out a convenience store. Normally, something like that would have worried you, but seeing as the store’s already nearly burnt to the ground you think everybody’s already gotten out.

Not to be outdone, Azdaja telekinetically grabs on to a fallen lamppost and hurls that bad boy through the grocery store across the street.

“Show-off,” Konyyl scoffs.

“Where’s the main protest?” you ask.

“Like, a couple of blocks back that way. Some bronzeblood is leading the charge. Absolute mad lad,” she says, grinning. “I think a few more people you know might be there.”

That’s all the convincing you need to grab Polypa’s hand and take off running. You can hear the roar of a crowd chanting something.

“What are they saying?” you ask Polypa.

“Be silent no longer, when we’re together, we’re stronger,” she replied, glancing back at you with a twinkle in her eye. “I kinda like it.”

“Me too!”

The both of you turn the corner at the end of Hookedclaw street and find yourself face-to-face with a sizable crowd of about one hundred trolls. They’re all looking up to a pair of trolls standing on an upturned scuttlebuggy-- a bronzeblood, like Konyyl said, and the same big rustblood guy who you ran into last night.

You gape in shock. “Holy shit!”

The bronzeblood boy is yelling something, so you press closer into the crowd to hear what he’s saying. Most of the trolls here seem to be lowbloods, so when they see you and Polypa, an oliveblood, they gladly make room for you to join.

“... for what? A social construction that keeps us divided, because those who sit on thrones marked with the blood of our people know how strong we are together! They know that we’d be able to take control of our own destinies, and that terrifies them!” He pauses to take a short breath. “For fuck’s sake, I just want a world where I can walk down the street without worrying about getting killed! Is the bar really that damn low? Think about that, all of you!”

Another wave of cheering echoes through the streets, and you join in without hesitation.

“This guy’s spitting straight facts,” Polypa admits, looking impressed.

“He’s got balls, all right,” you agree. “That rustblood guy look familiar to you?”

She ribs you. “Yeah, yeah, you were right. I admit it.”

You turn your attention back to the boys, but they’re looking over the heads of the protestors at something behind you. A soft wave of hisses rise into the air as you turn to see a trio of purples stalking towards everybody, clubs dragging behind them with the awful scrape of steel against concrete. They’re twice the size of Polypa, except the giant fucker in the middle, who you think might be just a little bit shorter than Chahut.

“That’s a pretty sermon there, bronze brother,” he calls with a voice that crackles like burning wood. “Pretty for a load of treasonous fuckin’ shit.”

“Can’t be shittier than whatever they’re cooking up in that drug-hole church of yours,” the bronzeblood fires back with a smirk.

Even the rustblood standing next to him sucks in a sharp breath as the clown regards him with no trace of emotion. Polypa grabs your hand, and you squeeze it tight.

“You’ve got a big-ass mouth for a critter the size of my motherfuckin’ left toe,” the clown on the big guy’s right says.

“And you’ve got a big-ass forehead for a bastard with such a tiny skull.”

Somebody lets out a loud snort. It might have been you.

The feeble tendrils of bravery holding everybody together begin to unravel as the purplebloods begin to approach once more. You instinctively back up and pull your jacket hood over your head.

“Get ready,” Polypa growls.

But before the clowns have the chance to attack or use their chucklevoodoos, or before the lowbloods gather their courage enough to storm the intruders, a deafening CRACK splits the air like a thunderclap.

The clown to the far left drops like a rock, and standing over him, bat raised, is Elwurd.

She’s wearing a mask to conceal her face, of course, but you’d recognize that crest of blue hair anywhere. Beside her is Remele with her oversized mallet-club thing, and bringing up the rear with shining dual blades is none other than Ardata Carmia.

“Am I fucking dreaming,” you ask nobody in particular, and then all hell breaks loose.

The cerulean girls lunge for the two purplebloods that are still on their feet. The bronzeblood screams for everybody to scatter just as drones begin to swoop down from the sky, opening fire on the trolls below. Half a dozen kids drop dead on the spot.

You and Polypa duck into the nearest alleyway just in time before bullet holes pepper the pavement. Behind you, Elwurd roars something that sounds like “Duck!” before another explosion blows out all the windows. You yelp and cover your head as glass showers down on you like rainfall.

“Zap us out of here!” Polypa yells.

“No, wait! We have to go help the girls!”

“I’m not going back out there and neither are you!”

You glance back just in time to see Ardata drop to her knees, holding her bloody arm. She’s shrieking in terror as a drone advances on her, culling fork glinting bone-white in the darkness. Remele and Elwurd are too busy getting their asses kicked by the last living clown to help.

In that moment you can’t remember her as the bloodthirsty murderer who tortured you in her basement. All you can think of is the time she broke down in your arms, overcome with guilt at the monster she’d become in the name of being accepted by highblood society. A monster who’d traumatized you, and then became your friend.

You’re moving through space and time before your brain can catch up to what you’re doing. Ardata is cold and hard when you tackle her out of the way of the drone. The two of you tumble across the street together as the culling fork hits the spot where Ardata just was with a SHUNK. Even with adrenaline racing through your system the sound chills you to the core.

Remembering what Dirk taught you about hand-to-hand combat with a larger opponent, you grab one of her knives and zap right over to the clown, getting right up in his business before burying the blade into an eye socket.

Unsurprisingly, he drops a squirming Remele and covers his face with a scream so horrible you almost pee your pants. Ardata’s wailing your name from the sidewalk like a terrified child. You want to yell at her to shut up and run before the drones spotted her again, but you never get the chance. One moment you’re twisting a knife into a purpleblood’s skull, the next you’re flying through the air like a ragdoll before a pair of strong arms wrap around you. You and your rescuer land hard on the street with matching grunts of pain.

You look up into Elwurd’s bewildered face and burst out laughing. “Hi!”

“What the--”

“Time to go!” Remele yanks the both of you up by your scruffs like a pair of naughty cats. “Ardata, stop screaming like a wiggler and get your arse over here now!”

“My arm!” Ardata screeches. “I’ll be scarred for life!”

“No, you won’t, idiot, not when you hit your adult molt-!”

You zap the three of them out of there and into the alley, grab Polypa on your way, and then get the hell out of dodge.

The five of you end up in the back of a Troll Dennys, because of course you do. Polypa falls on you, knocking you to the ground, and then she yowls in anger when Elwurd lands on her legs, only for Ardata and Remele to hit the concrete ass-first. Remele accidentally kicks you in the stomach. Ardata falls back against a dumpster and hits her head on the metal with a BANG.

Everybody stares at each other for a long moment with varying degrees and expressions of utter shock. Polypa glares at you, and you just know you’re in for a long discussion about putting your own safety first in dangerous situations, or something like that.

You decide to break the ice first. “Anybody want pancakes?”

#riverbound #pesterquest #hiveswap #hiveswap friendsim trolls #homestuck #ceruleans #c17 #mspa reader #the guardian

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minttoy · 5 years ago

Text

Wayward

CHAPTER ONE

Summary: The night at the Goddess Tower, Dimitri wished for a world in which no one would be unjustly taken away. Byleth made her wish in silence - that one day she would see him freed from his darkness.

She wakes up five years later, only to learn the world hasn’t been kind.

Missing scenes post time skip (Blue Lions route).

Pairings: Dimitri/Byleth

Genre: Romance/Angst

Click here to read on FF.net.

Click here to read on AO3.

----------

I wish for a world in which no one would ever be unjustly taken from us.

She treads up the stairs with light, careful steps. She has to tiptoe and maneuver around dead bodies and old carcasses strewn over the floors, follow dried blood stains splattered across the walls. Her nose crinkles at the smell of metal, iron and blood. Byleth wonders what horror these Imperial soldiers must have seen before they were killed.

That’s a wonderful wish.

The last time she visited the Goddess Tower had been a joyous event. The ballroom filled with life and holiday cheer. Students dancing in step. Professors indulging in fancy drinks. Even Byleth herself, watching it unfold with curiosity, because the party had been the first she ever attended. Every single one of them oblivious, and too swept up in excitement that besides Edelgard herself, no one predicted the foreboding war, or suspected what lurked underneath.

She finally reaches the top of the stairs and catches the view from the open window – a peaceful dawn on the horizon. She only revels in it for a second before she shifts and finds him there, sitting in dark shadows. She suspected it briefly, having identified the mortal wounds on those soldiers as pierces slashed with angry lances and biting force, cutting through even the toughest armour.

Her lips form a frown. For a moment, she thinks ‘please’ and considers ‘maybe it’s not him’, because she doesn’t want to believe. But he looks up to the click of her heels and the blue of his single eye is the same as she remembers. Her breath cuts short and she almost falters in her step.

Oh, Dimitri.

His hair has grown, lathed with gunk and dried blood. His cheeks are dirty and muddied. Confusion and blankness cloud his visible eye, where she once saw determination burn bright so many years ago. His body is dragged and worn and scarred from battle. Even as she steps into the light, his expression is unchanged. She doesn’t know how to explain with gentleness the reason she’s been gone for so long, especially when she barely understands it herself.

She reaches an open hand out to him, tries to share her light, but he doesn’t take it. He groans when he moves, and turns away.

“I should have known…” His voice is raspy, like it hurts to speak. “…that one day, you would be haunting me as well.”

Her face falls, and she cannot fathom the swirl of emotions that course through her mind, beat at her heart. Above all else, sadness lingers foremost. She’s almost unable to bear it, not used to such strong emotions that she has to cast her gaze elsewhere. With it comes a sudden, phantom pain throbbing in her chest she doesn’t fully understand.

He gets up eventually, gripping his lance for balance and stands his tall height. She observes him more carefully, and can’t help but think of a creature in the night. Swathed in blood and dirt. Disheveled and dressed with coarse furs. Tall and looming, bloodlust in his eye. She imagines him prowling the grounds, cold and unfeeling. No less than the beasts they’ve fought as teacher and student. Humanity all but intact, and underneath all that metal armour, she knows he is hollow.

He demands she not look at him with scorn, even though she feels nothing of the sort, and then swears darkly to himself that he will sever Edelgard’s head himself. Threats of death and destruction roll so easily off his tongue. She wonders briefly when this violent and uncontrolled temper had taken root, but even after his angry tirade, she can’t bring herself to stop him. Not yet, at least. Her words won’t find their mark, not when she knows nothing of the missing years.

Instead, she says the only she thing she knows for sure, “I’m glad you’re safe.”

He only scoffs at her, “Am I?”

Byleth opens her mouth and nothing comes out. Her hesitation betrays her, and her silence is more than telling. He walks off without a second thought, and before following after him, she quietly reminds herself of the wish she’d made here years ago.

I wish one day I could see you freed from your darkness.

----------

Everybody remembers their promise.

As they work to defend the monastery from a band of thieves attempting to steal what little is left, they show up. Even five years past, they fall back to their old battle formations and await her command. She hardly has the time to register their new faces and growth, only fathoms the reunion as painfully bittersweet. After all, Dimitri had been the one to suggest the idea.

She keeps a close eye on him in particular, watches as he strikes down his foes with no mercy. He’s out for blood and terrifyingly violent. The honour of battle is lost on him, even though she knows she taught him better than that.

They gather at the centre afterwards and Byleth finally inspects each and every one of her former students. She’s most surprised to find Gilbert here, who claims he’s been tracking down Dimitri for a while now. When he asks the prince how he managed to escape the fortress prisons of Fhirdiad, the worst is confirmed.

Dedue is allegedly dead.

She closes her eyes and offers a silent prayer. There’s a collective silence from the group and at this point, she doesn’t know if she can stomach much more. After all, a teacher shouldn’t have to mourn their student.

----------

She leaves them in another room to catch up with one another. Some of them take the time to grieve. Mercedes marches straight for the church afterwards, followed closely by Ashe and Annette. For her, that time will have to come later. She doesn’t even wholly believe it.

Eventually, Gilbert approaches her in the council room. She keeps busy after the battle, rigorously polishing and sharpening her sword with a whetstone she found on the training grounds. As a former mercenary, or a Professor even, she was never one to remain idle. What little emotion she feels throughout the day is taken out on grinding the dull edges of her blade.

Gilbert narrates the events of the past and present – who’s taken control of what territory, what vast expanse of lands the Empire has already conquered, how his search for Dimitri has led him here, and why he set out to accomplish a seemingly impossible task. From his explanation alone, she gathers that Gilbert carries his own ghosts and unfulfilled promises.

“Thank you,” she says softly, chancing a glimpse of the tired man. “For finding him.”

He shakes his head. “It was not me who found him. It was you, Professor.”

She stiffens in her seat, but says nothing.

Gilbert sighs and scratches the back of his head. He casts his tired gaze towards the window. “I’m sure you find Dimitri has…changed, over the years.”

Clack!

The whetstone slips from her hand, almost cutting an edge of her finger. Gilbert alarms at the sight, but she quickly waves off his concern. She puts the weapon down immediately, deeming her mind unfit for the task. Instead, she leans her elbows on her knees, buries her hands in her face and rubs at her temples.

He is not the same.

After practicing much restraint and disbelief, the truth finally surfaces and the pain is akin to a hard punch to her gut. The gravity of his situation and character finally weighs down on her. All of a sudden, she finds herself missing him, of all things.

The boy wise enough to notice a young girl being dragged around, because her path had been decided by adults in a drawing room. And so he gifted her a dagger so she could carve a future for her own, one that she wanted for herself. Even back then, he understood well that your life was yours to live.

The student who desired to teach orphans, even when he still had much to learn. She watched from the sidelines as he showed them how to hold their ground, corrected their stances, practiced with dull wooden weapons and repeated several times that weapons were tools for protection and nothing else. He already knew all too well how quickly the world could turn.

The young man focused so rigidly on his studies and training. His compassion had been enough to elicit a few small smiles. She’d gotten loose with herself, slowly easing out of her stoic demeanor and mercenary mentality. It was an uncomfortable, but not unwelcome change. He willingly called her out when she slipped, saying her smile was ‘mesmerizing’. He always said it with encouragement. She thought nothing of it back then, but realizes now it meant so much more. Jeralt commented once how her students brought out her humanity in ways even he couldn’t.

And now.

Five years have passed and she struggles to feel anything beyond the melancholic haze surrounding the monastery. Perhaps none of this would mean so much if she hadn’t made that wish. Or perhaps he’s still the same person she met so many years ago. She just didn’t know him at all.

He always had that lingering darkness, even at the best of times. Underneath that façade festered a hunger for vengeance. Young Dimitri phrased it so clearly. Sometimes the darkness takes hold, and becomes impossible to suppress. The five years he spent unhinged and wandering in darkness nurtured his lust for revenge. Nowadays, people only laid hands on him with the intent to kill, and he had no choice but to do the same.

Gilbert clears his throat, drawing her out of deep thought.

Forgetting her place, Byleth straightens her spine. She tries to mirror his tired expression.

“Dimitri has lost himself,” she says, following up on his earlier comment. She doesn’t know how else to put it.

The man shifts his weight to the other foot and rests his chin in one hand. “Yes. I fear his deep hatred and solitude have consumed him for far too long,” he explains with a downcast expression. “We must bring him back from the edge on which he stands.”

She nods in agreement, unable to word it better herself.

He hums with uncertainty. “It will not be a quick or easy task. In truth, I’m not even sure if my words will…” he trails off, but eventually shakes his head. “Never mind, it must be done, regardless of whatever circumstance. He is still needed in his Kingdom.”

She finally looks up at him, assurance in her eyes.

“I’ll do it,” she offers, even as she sees dark times awaiting them in shadowed corners.

“Are you sure, Professor?”

She nods. For his sake, she would have to.

----------

Later, everyone is gathered in the council room. She stands to one side, casting inspecting gazes to each of her students as Gilbert and Seteth discuss strategies between themselves before presenting it forward. There is much on the agenda. Talks of battle tactics, recruiting soldiers, rebuilding the monastery and more. Everybody has agreed the Empire needs to be stopped.

Eventually, Annette calls out the elephant in the room. Her leg hasn’t stopped fidgeting since she sat down.

“Erm, perhaps we should wait for Dimitri?” she pipes up anxiously. “He should be here, right?”

There’s a scoff from Felix, and the gesture is oddly nostalgic. “Hmph. The boar is holed up in the cathedral right now, talking nonsense to himself. I don’t see him getting out anytime soon.”

No one says anything, much less argues with him. Byleth just assumes everyone has seen for themselves how the years have hardened and changed their former house leader. The air is stricken with gloom now.

Naturally, Gilbert turns to her.

She promised to handle affairs concerning the wayward Prince. She figures most people are rather…fearful in discussing Dimitri’s condition. The way she sees it, it matters not. At the end of the day, their end goal is the same: Halt Imperial conquest and take back the Holy Kingdom. Somewhere in the dark recesses of his mind, she is certain Dimitri feels the same way.

She straightens up from her spot and gathers the attention of the room. “We can resume in his absence. I can debrief him of our plans afterwards.”

----------

People have always flocked to the church in times of need. Although their numbers have dwindled, guards, monks and merchants alike have all paid a visit at least once.

Dimitri is here all the time. From morning till night. Akin to a lost soul wandering in limbo or purgatory, waiting for judgment to strike down like lightning. He occupies the space in front of the rubble, frequently muttering to himself. Sometimes, he speaks of destruction and violence. When the voices get too loud, he pleads and begs for forgiveness. Sometimes he says nothing at all.

For him, there is only one end in sight. Edelgard’s death and after that, his own. A preposterous notion – as if she would ever let him get that far.

She’s spoken to him a few times. Tried is a better word. He tells her to scurry out of sight and curses to himself when she doesn’t. He is still unreachable. She holds her words in her tongue because they won’t find their mark. He didn’t even attend the vigil they held in Dedue’s honour.

“Look at the creature,” Felix is saying, standing a fair distance away. “It’s pitiful to watch. Professor, do what you have to in order to fix him.”

Byleth, distracted by her own thoughts, rests her eyes on the prince. The wide berth everybody gives him makes it easy to observe. No one dares approach too close. Her eyes shift to Felix next. He wears his perpetual scowl, but underneath she knows he’s trying to figure out an end to this situation. She recognizes it as his way of showing he cares.

----------

A familiar face treads towards the academy.

Byleth remembers his face. General Randolph. He stood beside Edelgard as they destroyed the monastery. Dimitri remembers too, because he’s more difficult to direct. He’s determined to ravage his foes and sort out his problems with senseless violence.

She keeps a close eye on him and the others. None of them are her students anymore, but old habits die hard. Five years of sleep catches up to her too – her body is not yet hardened from rigorous training and everyday battle – and she slips up. A fast-flying arrow is shot deep into her left thigh and she grits her teeth and hisses in pain. Before she finds cover, she knocks her own arrow towards the perpetrator before he can deliver another blow.

When she looks up, Dimitri has already caught up to Randolph. She curses to herself, quickly assesses the blood-stained grounds to find most of the Imperial soldiers either dead or subdued. She has to force herself against her own threshold, musters up strength because someone must stop him, and she limps over to him unerringly. The arrow is forcefully removed by her own hand, leaving a trail of blood in her wake as she ignores the biting pains.

She watches as Randolph is brought to his knees, on the verge of his death. Dimitri is smug and bloodlust festers in his visible eye that it sparks angers in her. Randolph pleads senselessly, claiming he must live for his family before he has the gall to call Dimitri a heartless monster. It only feeds her ire, because he knows nothing about what he’s taken from so many people, including herself.

Byleth draws the line at Dimitri carving out his eyes, and kills Randolph herself. From behind, straight through the heart, swift and decisive. She considers it mercy, because anything by Dimitri’s hand would have been ruthless and even her worst enemies don’t deserve that kind of brutality on their deathbed. She quickly sheathes her sword afterwards, because even after all this time, it’s still not easy.

Dimitri laughs heinously at her actions, telling her she should kill him herself if she doesn’t approve. Fierce anger burns so hotly that for a second, she would earnestly consider challenging him if it meant dragging him away from his bleak and corrupted cravings for vengeance. But of course, she would never condone that. Instead, she cools down the foreign, unfamiliar rage burning inside and reminds herself there is no need for more violence in a world already plunged in war and turmoil.

What he says next is atrocious. Claiming to use her and her friends to exact his revenge until the flesh falls off their bones. Shock removes all blankness in her face, and she watches him storm off towards the monastery. The rest of them are mortified, having watched in horror of what he’s become.

----------

Byleth patches up her wounds on her own. She wraps her thigh in gauze and bandages, rubs salve on her wounds and hides the discolouration of her bruises with sleeves. News will spread to the Empire that they’ve made the monastery their stronghold, and she prepares for another onslaught.

She wakes up confused on some mornings. There are times when she picks up her sword and gets ready to complete her mercenary contract. Sometimes, she goes over to her desk to review lecture notes, only to find there are none. She’d also gotten used to hearing Sothis’s voice as the goddess flitted about in her room. She has to remember these things belong in the past now.

When her mind is too hazy, or things get overwhelming, she trudges over to Jeralt’s grave. In bright mornings, late nights, rainy weather or cold winds, she kneels down on the patchy grass and solemnly wishes for a world where she didn’t have to bury him. Time is forgotten when she sits in front of his headstone, but reality always hits its inevitable stride and she remembers this is hardly the time to grieve. Not before long, she schools on a blank and vacant expression, not minding the familiar faces that watch over her in concern.

----------

“Professor! Over here!”

Byleth looks to her left, where Mercedes, Annette and Ashe are beckoning her to sit at their table. She approaches over somewhat sheepishly, because she knows she should be spending more time with her students and honing them for battle.

“Mercedes managed to convince the chefs to let her bake a few sweets. You should try some,” Annette says excitedly, pushing forward the tray of small cakes and confectionaries in her direction.

She hesitates for a brief moment before taking one of the jelly squares in her mouth. Although she never had a sweet tooth, she manages a small smile, just for them. For some reason, they all seem to breathe a sigh of relief.

“Did you know? Dedue used to help me with kitchen duty. Have you ever tried his cooking? I’d say it was his hidden talent,” Annette strikes up conversation, taking one of the small cakes into her mouth in one bite. For a small girl, she’s always had a ravenous appetite for sweet foods.

Ashe lights up brightly. “I’ve tried his cooking too! You can really taste the Duscur inspiration. He was always a much better chef than I am, that’s for sure.”

Byleth gazes over them with fondness. She’s glad they’ve forged these unbreakable bonds. Even if one of them is gone, they choose to remember the good he’s done. As the two of them continue to reminisce of Dedue and his cuisine, Mercedes quietly turns to her.

“Professor, I must say. You seem rather…sad, as of late,” the soft-spoken girl remarks, a gentle smile gracing her features. “Are you also thinking of Dedue?”

Her eyes settle on the wooden table underneath her hands. “Always.”

Mercedes waits for a moment before speaking again, “And Dimitri, as well?”

Byleth still cannot look her in the eye. “I think of him too.”

“We figured as much…” Mercedes leans back in her chair and looks up at the ceiling. Ashe and Annette have quieted their conversation in favour of listening in. “I don’t think either of us have ever seen you show so much frustration as you did in our recent battle.”

She shrinks in her seat as shame tugs at her. Perhaps she got carried away back there.

“I’m sorry,” she prioritizes first. “I hope you understand I’m not angry with Dimitri, but rather the circumstances that have led him here. He’s much different now, as you know, and I ask that you be patient with him.”

Ashe nods his head. “Of course. He’s always been good to us, just like Dedue. When we were students, he refused to let me address him so formally.”

“Me too! And he used to tell me stories of my Father even before I connected with him. It was nice, actually. He said it felt like he knew me already before we entered the academy, because Father always spoke of me.”

Mercedes hums in agreement. “Dimitri also helped me with sword training. Although I’m still lacking in that skill, I think it was sweet of him to help, especially since I almost swung at him. In return, I taught him how to mend his clothes. He was a very good student.”

Byleth softens at the stories shared around the table. She shares her own too. It’s hard to equate the man he is today to the person he was before, but if her students have no problem seeing him as such, even with his cruel and callous behaviour, then she should do the same.

“We’re confident he’ll come to his senses one day. Until then, we should help him however we can,” Mercedes pipes up, with a sense of assurance.

For the first time today, she fills with hope.

----------

He still spends most days and nights at the cathedral. It’s almost reassuring, because she expects to find him there, instead of searching the monastery in fear he has gotten up and left. The only worrying thing is that he barely leaves the church grounds. He denies himself sleep, evidenced by the darkness under his eyes. But she thinks of his health, having never seen him take a ration from the kitchen, much less eat a morsel of anything.

She swipes a couple of things from the kitchen one day and wraps it in paper. A small loaf of bread and dried fruits. Someone told her one day he doesn’t care much for taste anyway. Her boots click and echo as she draws nearer, and he turns his head away from her when she kneels on the ground beside him.

Byleth prods her offering towards him, lays it on the ground where he can see with his good eye and utters out a simple command, “You should eat.”

He closes his only eye, still turned away from her. “Go away.”

She shakes her head and doesn’t get too caught up in his brusque words. “You’ll waste away and grow weary if you don’t,” she counters.

He groans to himself. A rough, grating sound, and says nothing else. He’s rather subdued today. The last time she visited, there was no stopping the slew of threats that escaped his tongue. She’s gotten used to that side of him, knows not to indulge in his murderous fantasies. Instead, she treats him with a level of hardness, because he doesn’t recognize comfort or kindness when it’s given to him. She redirects his thoughts instead. Questions his motives with caution and reminds him to take care of himself. Never engages in a fight or argument when none is needed.

She says nothing else and leaves him for the day. Later when she checks on him again, she notes with some measure of gladness that the plate is empty.

----------

The next war council meeting goes awry.

They are short on soldiers and resources, and there are talks of requesting backup from the Fraldarius house and joining forces with them. When Gilbert asks Dimitri if they should dispatch their troops to the Imperial capital or the Kingdom capital, his answer is predictable.

“We will take the Imperial capital. There, I will kill her. Nothing could be more to the point.”

The group remains divided on the subject, but Seteth passes her the final say as the stand-in leader of the church and she chooses the opposite. For the army’s sake, and especially Dimitri’s sake, they should take back the Kingdom capital. There are so many people awaiting his return to Fhirdiad.

He turns to her, a cross look on his features. “If Lady Rhea is being held prisoner in the Empire, we don’t have time to waste taking back Fhirdiad. Can you deny it?”

He is only testing her, making her out to be foolish in front of the council. She doesn’t bite. Gilbert senses the foreboding tension and cuts in before anything can ensue. “Either way, we are in need of numbers. It is essential we secure backup.”

When the meeting ends, Byleth keeps her ground and waits until most of them have filed out of the board room. Dimitri remains, sharp and cutting words waiting in his sleeve, intended just for her.

“We’re not ready to march into Enbarr,” she says point blank.

“You understand nothing,” he scoffs, jaw clenched and hands balled into fists at his side. “The time we spend in wait only grows her power. She will have taken all of Fódlan before you finally decide to fight back!”

Byleth furrows her brow and presses her lips into a thin line. “You would rush in haste to fight Edelgard instead? You would fall on her doorstep before you even get the chance to see her.”

“That woman must be stopped!” he grounds out in exasperation, slamming a clenched fist on the desk and alerting the attention of the room. “I will go alone if I have to!”

She drops her hands and narrows her eyes at him, face lined with hardness. A bitter sensation settles in her mouth at the thought of him wandering off on his own.

“No. I won’t let you.”

Dimitri laughs. A maniacal, delirious laughter. He steps one foot forward as a crooked smile finds his lips, like a man possessed. “You, Professor? Are you going to be the one to stop me?” His voice is mocking. A taunt, above all else. And she understands he means to intimidate her when he draws closer with a crazed look in his eye. “Be my guest! I dare you to try!”

When he gets too close, she shoves him backwards with both hands, just enough to afford her some distance. The sword of the Creator hums and hangs at her hip, but she makes no motion to withdraw it.

“Don’t challenge me,” she warns and her voice is mostly even. Intimidation isn’t her strong suit, but her eyes stay fixed on his single one with a stubborn determination. Even still, she steels herself should he ever reach for the lance at his back.

He shakes his head and at her adamant insistence, takes a step back. “Then I swear to you this, my dear Professor.” The hissing voice that comes out of that mouth is a poor mockery of Dimitri’s own, dissonant to her ears. “If you ever get in my way, or you dare to stop me from severing that woman’s head, I will not hesitate to kill you too.”

With a huff, he turns his heel and gruffly storms out the room. She waits for the wave of shock to pass, and then her brave face is gone, replaced with an old and tired expression. She finally lets out the breath she didn’t know she was holding and suddenly, disappointment weighs heavy on her shoulders and she forces herself to sit down. Her breaths even out slowly.

Footsteps draw near, and she glances up to the waiting eyes of Felix and Sylvain, who’d been privy to that uncomfortable exchange. Felix is the first to speak.

“There’s no use talking to him when he gets like that. Nothing is going to reach him,” he offers rather brusquely, even though his words carry some ounce of sympathy.

She looks to Sylvain, who appears quite lax despite their circumstance.

“What he means by that is Dimitri’s had his rough patches before. Today was just one of them, so you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. Besides, dark expressions don’t really suit you,” he remarks loosely. She raises a small brow at his nonchalance and as inattentive as Sylvain appears, he seems to read her cue. “Even I still have a hard time accepting who he is, but everyone has their faults, right? And he’s my friend, first and foremost. All I’m saying is, I’m not worrying just yet. As much as I hate seeing him like this, I have faith he’ll turn around eventually.”

“Tch. He’ll be grovelling when the time comes.”

Groveling?

She creases her brow, tries really hard to understand, but the redhead just shakes his head. “For now, the most we can do is keep a close eye on him and make sure he’s safe until he figures it out.”

“Hmph. That mind of his though. So consumed with the dead. The boar has no control of himself. I’m this close to being done with him.”

For some reason, Sylvain gets a laugh out of that one. It confuses her wildly, because they don’t seem to grasp the weight of the situation. Dimitri is on the brink of madness and they jest as if it were another day at the academy.

She thinks it over again though. They’ve known him longer. They’re more familiar with his patterns of behaviour. She remembers questioning it frequently then. The way Felix constantly muttered his distaste for the Prince and his ‘monstrous’ qualities, even going so far as refusing to call him by name. Or when Sylvain raised a brow and kept a worried expression throughout their battle in Remire, because of all the chaotic violence they witnessed. She didn’t know what all of that meant back then. His darkness had been kept a heavily guarded secret between nobles.

Sylvain is the more perceptive one once again. “I know it’s hard to forget all the awful things he says and does, but I ought to give him a chance. We’ve been friends since we were kids. I owe him that much, at least.”

She pauses her train of thought. “What makes you so sure he can change?”

The redhead shrugs, but it’s not without a level of uncertainty. “He’s done it before. Besides, he has you helping him this time. To be honest, he never meant for you to see this side of him, but the fact that you have, and you’re still willing to see him through it…well, he should consider himself blessed.”

Blessed? Mild confusion washes over again. She tries to wrap her head around it, the idea as clear as mud. And even when they leave, the thought sticks with her for the rest of the day.

----------

The meeting scheduled at Aillel isn’t without complication. Besides the scorching heat and blistering fumes in the land said to be born of the goddess’ rage, it turns out there was a spy among them and soldiers awaited their arrival. Somehow, and Byleth still isn’t sure how the goddess is carrying her this far, they make it back to the monastery relatively in one piece. Rodrigue has chosen to come with them, along with several of his troops and men. She is glad to see their army and resources growing in number.

She’s avoided clashing with Dimitri in any way she can. Their last conversation is still a fresh wound. Besides, Rodrigue’s presence seems to draw out some sense in the prince. She would be foolish to tamper with that. If she recalls correctly, this man had taken him in, even treated him as his own, when the King had passed.

Once again, she cleans her wounds on her own. She douses her burns and blisters in salt water, hisses at the searing contact, and pulls the sleeves over her arms when she leaves her quarters. Later that night, she ambles up the stairs of the Goddess Tower.

On their way back from Aillel, she came across a…revelation, so to speak. She’d been sitting with her former students, sorting out inventory of weapons and medicinal supplies. The routine has a soothing, meditative effect on her, so she was minding her own business for the most part. Somehow, they started reminiscing about their academy days – a frequent topic of conversation – and what they had done on the night of the ball. She’d been partially listening at that point, and only glanced up when they addressed her.

“Professor, are you aware of the legends associated with the Goddess Tower?” Ingrid piped up, features friendly.

She nodded. “My understanding is that wishes made in that tower will come true.” Briefly, she mulled over the innocent wish she made there five years ago and as an afterthought, she added quietly, “I’m not sure if I believe it.”

“Aww, come on. That’s only a small part of it. The tower is supposed to be a place where lovers meet, and the wishes represent the vows and promises you make to one another. That’s why the person you bring there should be important to you, like someone you love,” Sylvain explained. Ironically, he then went on to list all the girls he had taken there, much to the chagrin of the others.

Her face did not imply as much, but the information was new to her. When Dimitri asked her to meet him there, she thought nothing of it. She was clueless, even as he explained his disbelief for the old legend and still made a wish. For the sake of tradition, she made her own as well.

Afterwards, he considered if it would make more sense to wish they were together forever. By her own logic, that would cross the boundaries of their professional relationship, so she offered him a blank stare in return. He followed up nicely saying he improved in the art of joke telling.

Aware now of the romantic implications of the tower, he was right. It would have made more sense. She simply didn’t understand back then. As a Professor and even to this day, she’s socially inept at times, often failing to understand human conventions and emotions. Her students, and even other Professors, teased her often or said all kinds of crazy things to get her to emote anything besides her blank gaze.

“Professor, did you ever meet anybody at the Goddess Tower? Or made a wish of your own?” Annette had asked, giddy with a dreamy look in her eyes.

“Yes. I suppose I have,” she tells truthfully, not expecting the collective shock that flash across their faces. Much to their disappointment, she’d gotten out of that conversation courtesy of Rodrigue, who requested to speak with her.

Byleth remembers that conversation. That’s how she got here.

Resting her hand against the stone wall, she stares out at the open window and gazes out into the starry sky and white moon. The same view from five years ago, when she made a promise to Dimitri. She understands now it wasn’t a wish, but more like a vow.

She repeats it to herself again, but with more hope this time.

I wish one day I could see you freed from your darkness.

And instead of relying on old legends to make it happen, she’s determined to see it through for herself.

----------

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #byleth #dimileth #dimileth fanfic #post timeskip #angst #romance

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callisofcamelot · 6 years ago

Text

sunlight through broken glass

pairing: hort x beatrix

setting: modern au, canada, uhhhhh they’re like in their twenties??? (this isn’t even a setting but you get it)

notes: im not dead!! *insert surprised pikachu face* this also isn’t edited at all, it’s a hot mess but please enjoy.

word count: 1342

part 1/??? (ooooo me making a new series i’ll never finish)

*****

It’s not that much a surprise, and it’s not even bad.

When she looks through the mail and finds it. Beatrix doesn't have to open it to know it's the divorce papers. Chaddick had moved out months ago, leaving their too big home to herself (which was right in the mountains, and Beatrix hated mountains. But if he knew things like that maybe they wouldn't be here in the first place). The home was okay. . . but the smell.

God.

It was horrible.

Everything smelled like him. His favorite cologne was embedded in the walls and even gallons of bleach and millions of Bath and Body Works candles couldn't get rid of it. Beatrix can’t stand it and it hurts so much, and she's a big girl and big girls don't cry but nowadays all she does is cry.

She texts Millie and Reena, and they both tell her they'll be there in a few seconds.

But it's not even that bad, she tells herself. It's not like the time Tedros basically led her on for years and then broke it in a single second.

So here's the inciting incident. She's fifteen and has shelves filled with romance novels and watches One Tree Hill and Gilmore Girls religiously and doodles her crushes names on her binder and she's just fifteen.

Tedros was supposed to be her soulmate. It just made sense to her. Their parents were friends and they’ve known each other forever and childhood friends always fall in love. Right?

She stands in her mother's heels that she stole and a dress that cost far too much just for a dance. Beatrix knows she's beautiful, she's always known she's beautiful, but at this moment she doesn't feel like it, because what is beauty if no ones there to admire it?

It's nothing, she realises an hour into the night.

The punch in her hands is cool but so is her heart, so maybe that's a good thing. She is fifteen and has never really felt this feeling before, she has never felt the sight of Tedros dancing with Agatha, Tedros laughing with Agatha, Tedros looking at Agatha like that, she has never felt this kind of . . . betrayal.

Beatrix feels the knife in her heart, a merciless cold blade that seems to leave a gaping hole in her chest. She is bleeding out while drinking Hawaiian Punch, and perhaps that isn't the worst way to die, but at this moment it sure feels like it. Tears prick her eyes, and she hopes she will turn invisible because at this moment Beatrix isn't the most beautiful girl in the room, she's the most heartbroken.

People can see it because people always see the things you don't want them too.

"Bee," a voice says carefully, a hand slowly being stuck out in front of her. "Do you wanna dance."

She turns her head to Chaddick. Chaddick who has always teased her and never really cared for her, with this crooked smile and messy amber hair and his eyes that are the ocean during a storm. Yet at this moment he looks small and awkward, and very much a teenage boy filled with too many emotions and not enough words.

She gives him her hand. "Okay."

That's the start of them, and you see she hears years later about what would've happened if she'd have said no to him, but that's a story for another time.

Millie makes her a cake because that's what she does.

It's a chocolate cake, and it tastes so fucking good, and Beatrix doesn't care it'll take her hours of pilates to work off the calories, because this makes her feel good.

God knows that she deserves to indulge at least a bit.

"Did you know twenty-eight is the prime age of women," Millie says, while they all sit on the couch drinking some hundred dollar wine she got for an anniversary. "You’re super fertile and attractive and funny and smart and like look at your body man, it's bangin'."

It makes her cry, and the fact she's on her period makes her hormones go crazy. "Then, god, why'd he leave."

"He was pretty dumb," Millie mumbles.

"I know," she says. "But he tried, he made me laugh, sometimes made smoothies, and treated me so nicely, and well, his abs were really nice."

Reena rubs her arm. "It's gonna be ok. We'll get through this, we always do." She believes Reena, not only because she's really smart and is married and has kids, but also because Reena is her best friend. "What're you in the mood for Bee," she asks, she flips through movies, thousands of them from her and Chaddicks daily movie nights. It's a collection of them from the past five years, like a mixtape of them living together. "I'm kinda leaning on something Disney."

Her eyes pick something in the sea of thousands, it's a movie that wasn't apart of the mixtape, it's apart of something completely different.

"Put on, The Fantastic Mr. Fox."

Beatrix is nineteen, and she's freshly single, and very much ready to mingle.

Her and Chaddick’s long distant relationship ends, and for some strange reason, she isn't upset. But of course she doesn't tell anyone, because that would make her a horrible person, and for some reason, though popularity was left in high school she still puts far too much effort in putting up appearances.

Going into university, Beatrix is alone for the first time. It's her fault for choosing one where none of her friends are going, but for some strange reason, she doesn't mind. She's been surrounded by people her whole life, but now she's free, and it feels good, well until it doesn't.

It's a Friday night and instead of partying she's in the library studying, and it sounds sad and terrible and it is but she's not even that upset.

Ok, that's a lie.

She's a tiny bit upset.

But doesn't try to tell anyone that.

(Even if she wanted to she couldn’t because Reena and Millie are building schools in Asia, and they have no service for the next two weeks)

She stares at her textbook, Policy In The New Age, trying to get all the knowledge to somehow magically go into her brain (it hasn't worked for the last 20 minutes but who knows, maybe that'll change).

"Beatrix," a voice suddenly says to her out of nowhere, she turns her head and is greeted by two long legs and she has to look up and god it's Hort, but it's not him at all. He's so tall, and tan, and almost muscular in some areas, yet still gangly, and his smile is the same because she recognizes those dimples, and god he got hot. "Haven't seen you in such a long time."

Her mouth has forgotten to talk because human interaction has become rare for her, and she feels so dumb, but all she can do is stare at him.

He frowns. "Something wrong?"

Then her brain finally starts to work. "No," she croaks out. "I'm just tired and very bored."

"That's great," he says, and lord she regrets thinking he was hot this is-- "Oh, fuck, that's not actually great it's just I'm very tired and bored too, so . . . like, I don't know, but would you-well, like to go to this new Chinese place around the block."

She has to blink a few times before she can comprehend what he just said, and then, she smiles. "Yes please, anything than this."

He smiles and it's familiar and comforting, and she likes it.

(Hort tells her while they're walking to the restaurant about a film that includes foxes. He tells her it's his favorite movie in the whole world when she says she's never watched it, he seems appalled and invites her over to his dorm to watch it. That where it starts, the movie that is them.)

Beatrix is drunk by eight.

(She also has always believed alcohol makes her spontaneous, not dumb. So that's why she emails him.)

Hey Hort!!

What's up.

From Beatrix.

(Her email writing skills have never been good, she doesn't wanna talk about it.)

#the school for good and evil #hort of blood brook #beatrix of jaunt jolie #hortrix #the only ship that matters #fight me #mywriting #**hortrixfanficthingy #tedros of camelot #agatha of the woods beyond

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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

Text

Fake Love - pt 6

"Here." He placed a coffee on the desk.

Drinks weren't allowed near the computers or equipment but he was breaking his own rules.

"It's a thank you for helping me the other night when I was dying." He said.

"Ahh, thanks. I needed this." You held the cup between your sweater paws and moved to the couch.

There was a clear awkwardness in the air, but it was minimal. Nowadays it didn't feel so weird being around him. He seemed to be opening up. He actually made small talk occasionally.

"You didn't sleep well?" He asked.

"There was a couple arguing all night....They were really loud."

"What were they arguing about?" He asked, seemingly amused.

You looked at him. Was he really curious about something like this?

He scratched the back of his head. "It was over something stupid right? People in relationships provide stupid entertainment sometimes."

"It was pointless." You agreed. "One suspected the other of cheating. Once it gets to that point, there's no need to keep each other tied up. The endless fighting...it's so annoying."

He nodded. "What are they holding on to?...It's like a seesaw game that never ends. Not until one of them finally gives up."

"That's a good metaphor."

"Maybe I'll turn it into a song..."

"Maybe you should."

_______

"Your girlfriend?" You were a bit surprised but not that alarmed. It was Jungkook after all.

"Don't you see how natural this is?" His fingers curled in between yours. "How natural this always was? How could you not fall in love with your best friend?"

You stared at your hands intertwined.

He was right.

You two were always near each other, as if it was somehow necessary.

It was just the way you two were.

Being around him always felt right. Weirdly enough, you sought each other out a lot but that's what best friends do right?

Everyone had a best friend growing up, perhaps more than one, but Jungkook felt like the best of them all.

At the same time, he was more than that. He was the only person to just get you. There was no awkward getting to know each other phase. He just understood everything about you so easily.

He was your best friend and soulmate by definition.

Realizing this was a huge however.

You wondered if this was the type of love that people said lasted forever. Was he, the one? Did you really fall in love with your best friend?

Is this what that kind of love was supposed to feel like? Not overwhelming but natural.

Was it supposed to feel simple and genuine, as if it was always present from the start?

Admittedly throughout your time with him, there had been a few instances in which you found him making your heart flutter. On the other hand, it wasn't something you thought about too deeply.

You figured it was a normal occurrence with someone you felt so close to. You felt close to all of them but Jungkook was just...different.

You didn't remember how your romantic relationship began but it started making sense.

Jungkook knew everything about you after all.

A lingering fear and hurt still resided in your heart from your previous relationship with ****. A relationship you preferred to forget, if at all possible, but Jungkook knew about it.

He was the only one that knew about it. You trusted him with your life. At this point there were no secrets between the two of you.

Hopefully he knew just how much you cared.

You didn't know for sure if Jungkook was the one, although, you couldn't help but come to terms with the fact that it was entirely possible.

Jungkook somehow got under your skin. Of all people, he made you fall in love....

It seemed like the strangest yet most sensible thing.

Jungkookie...

The guy who would tease and annoy you somtimes was just Jungkook now, the guy who was able to comfort you when you felt so small and dumb. The guy who made sure to check up on you every few hours. The guy who could make you laugh wholeheartedly but also someone you could have deep conversations with.

Now he was looking at you with those not so innocent eyes, telling you how normal this all is.

You hated romance in the cheesy sense, but if he made up some terrible pet name then you wouldn't mind hearing it come from him.

Why were you so blind to his feelings in the first place?

You felt like a bad friend for not seeing it sooner. For not understanding his feelings as they were manifesting themselves right in front of your eyes.

You smiled. "Well, people always say that if you end up with your best friend then you're one of the lucky ones...I'll admit, the idea of us being together crossed my mind occasionally...at random times but that's normal between best friends right? It wasn't something I thought about too often, but I never outright hated the idea either."

"That's exactly why we agreed to try it out...." His eyes lit up but then he became more serious. "...When you disappeared, I thought you left me and everything else behind. I blamed myself for doing too much, or for not doing enough. I thought things were going well." He stroked your cheek with his thumb. "I thought you were happy...You can't force emotions like that. I know you loved me."

He thought you were faking it, and left. How heartbroken he must have been. That why he hesitated when he walked in.

He didn't know what to do.

The way he was looking at you now, the way he was holding your face in his hand, it all felt new. It felt real.

You liked staring into his eyes, confirming all his sincerity.

"Why would you think I was capable of doing that to you? I don't remember us being together together, but I trust you more than anyone else. I care about you more than anyone else." You sat up and reached for his hand again.

"I've always felt the same way...but the night you went missing...I thought the worst of you." He said, feeling a bit ashamed. His eyes wandered away a bit. "I thought you left because of that other guy..."

He was biting his lips now and you knew he was still upset. Not at you anymore but at himself.

"Hey," You squeezed his hand. "He has nothing to do with us. If anything, as a friend, you've helped me move on. I'm sure that as more than a friend, you also helped me move on from him. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this but I'm more sorry that I don't remember us."

"We can start over. We can take things slow."

You smirked. "Look at us. We're sharing a bed and it's not the first time. I remember our late night gaming sessions."

"I haven't even touched our games since you left...but one of those nights, things changed. That was when we began an official relationship." He recalled.

"Really?" You listened attentively.

"We probably drank too much but I think the alcohol made us brave."

"How so?"

"We talked for a bit. It started getting chilly so I gave you my sweater."

You couldn't help but smirk. "A real gentleman."

"I was shivering but then you looked at me and said I was getting more handsome everyday."

You laughed. "No way."

"You did!" He pouted as he spoke. "After a while there was no space between us...just like now..............I leaned in.............like this." He said, reenacting that night. He was staring at your lips as he got closer.

"Jungkook..." You said anxiously and he smiled.

"Right, that's exactly what you said..so I stopped. Like I said, we can take it slow." He leaned back.

You couldn't help but ask. "Did we.....?....um..."

Suddenly he became smug. "Do the devil's tango together?"

You sighed, blushing bright red and he started cracking up.

"No, no. What do you take me for?"

"No, I'm just confused about...." You sighed. "I need to be completely honest with you first."

"Okay, tell me. What are you thinking?"

"I know I had a slight, tiny crush on Yoongi. One I never acted upon or even acknowledge most of the time...You know, maybe it was because I worked with him a lot, I probably just wanted to get closer to him............You know how he was before, he hated me. If I agreed to be your girlfriend then most likely I was over it, 100%, but it was something I remembered and thought you should know."

He nodded but he seemed disappointed. "I know. We talked about it...but there's something you need to know."

"What?" You asked worriedly.

He sighed. "You might be surprised but if you really think about it, you won't be surprised at all..."

Lost, you looked at him expectantly.

"Yoongi didn't renew his contract. The deadline was a few weeks ago and he didn't sign the new contract."

It took you a moment to process what he said.

Even then, you didn't believe it.

Yoongi wasn't into the whole fame and fortune thing but music was his life. He liked working on Bangtan's music.

All things aside, objectively watching him as a professional, it was clear how much he loved to work as a producer.

He never came off as the type to disregard the impact this would have on everyone; the guys, the fans.

"He didn't renew?...." You repeated, attempting to make sense of it but to no avail. "Why? How? How could he do that?"

"I don't know what's going to happen next but I think Bang PD will try to talk to him. He might try to persuade him to sign."

"I want to talk to him. Maybe I can persuade him to change his mind, I don't know, do something." You said.

"He doesn't want to deal with anyone right now. It was always obvious he never really had his heart in Bangtan."

"But anyone with a heart wouldn't turn their back on their fans. Making music, it's something that you can't just let go of either." You explained.

Sure, you didn't feel super close to Yoongi but you just knew how he felt about music.

Jungkook could only understand a parallel of how much music means to you, and to Yoongi.

Jungkook loved singing but he was still learning to create music from scratch. Yoongi had that undeniable passion for making music that you understood, because that feeling was the sole reason you became a producer in the first place.

"Well he did, and he's screwing all of us over at the same time."

This was the end, wasn't it?

"No. Sad as it is, your career is far from over. You would do great as a solo artist and Bang PD wouldn't let you go even if you wanted to." You answered.

He shook his head. "That's a conversation for another time. Let's not talk about this now. I don't want you to worry. Get some rest so you can recover quickly."

He laid back again.

"How can I not worry? How can I not be sad? I want things to be okay. You guys are my life now."

"They will be. If not, you still have me."

"What about everything and everyone else?"

"Don't cry..." He whispered. "Don't cry because of him. You're tired. Just listen to my voice. Even if this is the end, I will always keep singing just for you. I'll try my hardest to make you happy."

You were surprised by his words. Being consoled by him was a relatively new feeling.

You weren't embarrassed anymore...and actually liked this new side of him. You could almost believe him.

You hid your face in his side and quietly let the tears roll down your cheeks as he started humming. His hand rubbed your back and he began singing some of the covers he recorded before with your help.

After that moment you confirmed your feelings for him because you needed him more than ever, and he needed you.

The both of you were about to lose the thing you loved the most.

It was instant how desperate you became to keep him by your side.

He was trying to be strong about this and his first priority was you.

If he broke down then you would do anything to ease his pain, he knew that...or at least you wanted him to know.

Only for tonight you would be selfish and let him baby you.

Only for that night did you allow yourself to feel the pain of fear and uncertainty hanging above your head.

_____

You woke up before him.

The nurse came in quietly and checked your vitals. You just stared at Jungkook sleeping so soundly, it was hard too look away.

Angry tears rolled down your cheeks. A part of you felt bad for him, but you didn't understand why.

You went to the bathroom and washed up before breakfast came around. He would surely wake up if he smelled food with his sensitive sense of smell.

In the meantime you began to pack, absolutely sure that you would be discharged that day.

Thankfully Jungkook left his phone on the side table so you quickly reached for it. To be safe, you locked yourself in the bathroom.

Yoongi's number wasn't in his contacts anymore but you had memorized it a while ago.

"How much longer are you going to torture us? Let me see her. Let me see her you sick fu-" He answered but you interrupted him.

"Yoongi." You breathed, breaking down.

"Y/N?" He said, surprised to hear your voice. "Y/N, where are you exactly? I'm coming right now. Don't hang up."

You heard someone yell after him but his footsteps were already echoing loudly through the phone as he ran through the halls.

"On the sixth floor. Room 509. He's here with me. Yoongi please don't hurt him. I just want to go home."

"They're going to try to arrest me. Get out of the room. You can help me explain everything." He was breathing rapidly as he sprinted up the stairs.

You rushed out of the bathroom and grabbed your things.

Jungkook began stirring awake and with the commotion that began to build outside, you knew Yoongi was only a few seconds away.

You weren't scared. Jungkook wouldn't do anything if he caught you trying to leave. He would never make you fearful but despite his actions, he's only made you worry.

It always took him a while to come to his senses when he's waking up so you just remained calm and placed his phone back on the small table besides him.

Then you walked out of the room, colliding into Yoongi's arms.

"Thank God you remembered." He breathed, and you could feel his heart pounding. He held you so tightly it almost hurt but you didn't care.

That moment was so surreal and you felt how serious the situation was then. No longer did you sympathize with Jungkook who seemed like a lost kid, making dumb mistakes.

He became someone capable of hurting the ones he loved the most.

Seeing Yoongi in such a state was heartbreaking.

"I can't believe this happened." You whimpered. "I can't believe he went that far.

He held you closer than ever. "It's over. I'm here. You're okay now. I never thought I'd be able to say I love you again. I thought you forgot about us."

You sobbed into his arms, apologizing uselessly and the cops stopped in there tracks as soon as they saw you guys together.

"Miss, are you sure that this man is your boyfriend? Your guardian specifically stated he was not allowed near you for safety purposes." The officer said.

"My guardian is the one who shouldn't be near me. I can explain everything. Please let my friends come upstairs too."

The doctor finally showed up, short of breath from trying to catch up.

"Get us a room and keep him away from us." Yoongi said sternly.

"Sign here." The doctor looked at everyone with a shocked look on his face. He was definitely flustered. "It's a form that changes guardianship."

You quickly took it from his hands and just then Jungkook rushed out of the room.

"Y/N." He said, only looking at you, only focusing on you and nothing or no one else. "What are you doing?" He stepped forward.

You squeezed Yoongi's hand, warning him, pleading that he wouldn't do anything, that he wouldn't react. If at any time you wished for him to read your mind, it was then.

Somehow he stayed frozen in place. Somehow he got the message.

When Jungkook stepped closer, you fell to the floor, scared that he would even dare touch your hand.

That's all it took for the cops to confirm that Jungkook needed to be kept away from you.

Jungkook didn't look at Yoongi, at the doctor, or at the cops. His eyes held yours as you got up again, but his expression was that of pure agony.

"Y/N, don't leave me." He said. "No, you can't do this. Y/N, listen to me."

You couldn't look away from his teary eyes but you never squeezed someone's hand so tight. Yoongi squeezed back, placing his other hand on the small of your back reassuringly.

"Y/N he lied to you. He broke your heart. I saw it in your eyes. I swear on everything that I will never hurt you. Y/N, remember what you said about us. Y/N, PLEASE." He begged.

"Y/N." Yoongi spoke and you finally tore your gaze away from Jungkook who was now being escorted away.

Yoongi's strength was the only thing keeping you upright. He even covered your ears.

You couldn't find the words to say how heartbroken you were that this was all happening. That your best friend was the cause of this mess.

Everything you had just convinced yourself of being true was pure bullshit and he let you believe it.

You were too distraught to sign anything. Yoongi was trying to calm you down but it wasn't until the rest of the guys showed up that you felt surrounded by a shield of protection from hurt again. They were there for you at a moment when you needed them the most.

"Sign it. We can go home after the doctor confirms that you're okay." Yoongi assured you.

You nodded and signed the paper. It felt like you were signing away your friendship with Jungkook. It was the beginning of the end with him.

The guys stayed by your side as the doctor did his routine check up. After an hour or so, the rest of the paperwork was filled out, mostly by Yoongi.

There was silence as they walked you to the van. There was silence when you arrived home with Yoongi.

There was silence for a few days as you slipped into a depression that made you feel lifeless.

Yoongi understood that you needed time but he never left your side and you didn't want him to.

You remembered how it was before with him. Sometimes words weren't necessary. Just being by his side was more than any comfort in the world.

He cared for you in more ways than you were used to. He cooked and cleaned, and he even took extra time out of his schedule just to stay home a few more hours a day.

You would just lie in bed or on the couch, watching old movies that didn't have much substance to them.

It felt wrong that a few days ago you were in Jungkook's arms, admitting that you had feelings for him.

"....Where is Jungkook?...." You asked quietly one night at the dinner table.

Yoongi looked up from his plate, surprised to hear you speak about him for the first time since the hospital.

"Bang PD sent him home for a few months."

You didn't say anything else. Obviously the company made some excuse as to why the group was pushing back the comeback date.

Still....Yoongi didn't bring up the fact that he didn't renew the contract. Last thing you remembered was that you guys saw things differently on his decision not to renew.

"I don't know how to begin explaining what happened in that room." You felt your lips tremble.

"Then don't. What matters now is clearing things up. Ask me anything. Do you remember everything?"

"I remember everything." You assured him.

"So you remember how disappointed you were with me?" He avoided your gaze as he asked you that.

"I don't blame you for doing what you think is best. I feel like I wasn't supportive enough. Bangtan is over now. I have to get used to it."

"Do you still love me?" He watched your eyes carefully now.

"Of course I do....I just don't know what's wrong. He broke something in me."

"I'm sorr-"

"Don't apologise....and don't ask me if I still love you. You did nothing wrong."

"I just needed confirmation. You look at me differently."

"I know........He made me realize that there are still walls between us. There are things I haven't told you. Things I've always been too scared to talk about."

"That's a relief." He stated.

"A relief? What do you mean?"

"It means you still want to seem perfect to me. As long as you still love me, you'll keep feeling that way."

You thought about it and he was right. For the first time since leaving that hospital you felt something else besides shame.

"Is it the same for you?"

He nodded. "I try really hard to seem perfect but I failed many times already..."

You almost laughed. "No.....Think about it this way...in my eyes, I messed up more than you have. You're still pretty perfect."

"It's okay if you need time to tell me everything. I know this isn't a trust issue thing. I understand you. We're more alike that you think."

His words made you feel more comfortable again.

You guys cleaned up and got ready for bed. He was excited to show you a few things that you had missed in regards to the company, the general population and songs he's been working on.

He was still giving it his all these last few months and it was his way of thanking his fans.

"Was it hard? Waiting for me this whole time..." You asked, wondering how crazy it must have been for him.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. I was losing my mind. No one knew where you were for weeks. The company found out that you were in the hospital only after Jungkook did. I rushed right over but he made sure no one was allowed to see you."

"I woke up that morning...and I remembered everything. To be honest it was overwhelming. It's like I fell in love with you and found out you quit all at once. Then I realized what he did to me and...." Stupid tears brimmed your eyes.

"The people closest to you can hurt you the most. Everyone knows that. He knew that, and he didn't care. He was never your friend in the first place. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you won't feel hurt anymore."

"It's hard to think about it that way. He was my friend before you were."

"I could say the same thing and look at how fast his loyalty disappeared."

"That's true." You felt a bit of your self-pity diminish.

"There's a lot I haven't told you. I don't want you to feel guilty for hiding stuff from me. It's normal. You don't have to tell me all your darkest secrets and thoughts right away. The only thing this should tell you is that you're still processing whatever happened."

"I guess I'm also embarrassed when it comes to explaining the stupid things that have happened to me. It's hard for us to have deep conversations in the first place. We don't like to show weakness."

"We're not perfect. We can only try to be vulnerable sometimes."

"Tell me something. Tell me something about you that you've been hiding. I'll do the same."

"You go first." He tried to switch it on you.

You contemplated telling him your whole reason for being there in the first place but it was too heavy of a topic to bring up now.

"Something embarrassing?" You asked.

"The most embarrassing." He smirked.

You inhaled and felt your eyebrows furrow in a worry.

"I'm being sarcastic." He pulled you onto his lap and you shook your head.

"No, I'm not going to chicken out. Let me think."

He seemed amused but you told him not to laugh no matter what.

"Let me think too." He said, getting ready to be just as vulnerable.

You took a deep breath and finally looked into his eyes.

"Min Yoongi...." You began.

He sat there attentively.

"When you go to sleep....."

His eyes began squinting with each word that came out of your mouth.

"I take a picture of you because I think you look really cute."

"That's it?" He asked with a chuckle. "...I guess you lost all those pictures then huh? I'll get you a new phone tomorrow."

"You don't think it's weird?"

He placed his hand on your cheek and shook his head. "I do the same."

"What?!" You exclaimed. "No way. Let me see your phone."

He laughed wholeheartedly and admitted that he was just kidding.

"I don't look pretty to you when I'm drooling or what?" You asked, feeling the embarrassment now.

"Of course you do. I live in front of the camera so using it just feels weird to me. I'd rather look at you with my own eyes. Do you want to hear my secret now?"

"Mhm." You forgot your own embarrassment and got excited to hear what he had to say. You had to remind yourself to take him seriously because that's what this was about. Being vulnerable and getting closer.

"Y/N......this is embarrassing only because I haven't really known how to initiate things between us."

"Initiate things?" You repeated.

"I think you're so pretty.... that sometimes I have to hide how excited you make me feel.....if you understand what I'm referring to."

"Even at work?" You asked, watching his cheeks get red.

"Yeah....." He admitted. "Even at work sometimes."

You giggled and hid your face in his neck, unable to make eye contact. There was a tiny silence as you thought of how to respond.

"Well.....it's not that hard to just initiate something....I mean we are together...and I'm not opposed to sex before marriage or anything like that....You know that I'm not a virgin, and I know that you aren't either.....we're both adults here...and I obviously see you in the same way..." You were rambling but it gave him time to think.

"I know it's dumb. I'm not the type to shy away from these sort of things."

You sat up again and met his eyes. "Then what makes you so hesitant with me?"

"You're so fucking beautiful Y/N." He said, almost as if he was complaining.

You felt your breath hitch and your heart race.

"I don't think I can handle rejection well from you." He chuckled.

"You have a lot of pride." You laughed as you straddled him.

"Be careful." He warned.

"I'm not doing anything." You stated. "Pride looks good on you...."

"Apparently it turns you on." He teased.

"I'm not turned on." You laughed. "I just think it's good that we talk about this."

"Alright......music or no music?" He asked.

"Doesn't matter to me. If there is music I like it really low." You replied.

"Same....What about dirty talk?"

"It makes me laugh if it's not at the right moment."

"Is that a bad thing though?" He joked.

"Laughing during sex? No." You giggled. "Mmm....what about whips and chains?"

"Are you into that?!" He seemed surprised.

"No." You laughed. "But I do like being submissive...make me feel small. Make me feel like you're the one in charge."

"That I can do." He assured. "I like talking to you like this. You scared me these past few days. I finally got you back but you were so quiet."

"I was scared but now I'm not....I hate crying in front of you. I hate when you see me as a weak person. That embarrasses me the most."

"I never think of you as a weak person. You're the opposite of that actually. It's why I started liking you in the first place. You're not afraid to speak your mind and defend your opinion."

"We're both stubborn like that." You shrugged.

He exhaled. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

___________

#bts fanfics #bts fanfictions #bts fics #yoonkook fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #bts au #bts fan fictions

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we-pay-for-everything · 6 years ago

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Love Itself

It’s been hard coming up with topics for my metas. The first two were actually suggestions but had been written in my head for a while. This piece can’t really be called meta. It’s too personal. However, since we’re here to celebrate Buffy and Angel, for the last day of our first ever Wild Horses Weekend (+Friday!), I wanted to talk a bit (or a lot, you know me!) about what they mean to me.

Buffy and Angel didn’t always mean that much to me.

The first time I watched BtVS, I was far more in love with Angel than I was with Bangel. I did read tons of fics after finishing season 3 because I wanted to re-write Buffy and Angel’s ending in my mind. I was obsessed with them. It’s not that Buffy and Angel meant nothing, because all of my ships mean something: comfort, excitement, fondness. But they didn’t mean anything beyond that.

One of the most exquisite things about Buffy and Angel is how almost everything that is truly timeless and beautiful about them exists because of the post-season 3 Buffyverse. Buffy and Angel didn’t mean anything to me after Graduation Day. But they did after Chosen, after Not Fade Away. And they mean more now that I’m slightly older. The Buffyverse grows with you. There are always new things to enjoy and relate to, regardless of your age or of what you’re going through. The Buffyverse acquires meaning to me each year that passes and that I understand it more fully. When I wrote my first meta for the Wild Horses Weekend (+Friday!), I didn’t know how well I related to Buffy right now. Her experiences and behavior suddenly made a lot of sense, because I changed enough to understand them.

And so, Buffy and Angel meant different things at different times; but my perspective of them keeps broadening and my understanding deepening.

The first time I watched BTVS I’d just become depressed. BtVS was comforting to me, although it was AtS that changed my life. When I finished BtVS (before watching AtS), Buffy and Angel were a lovely obsession, nothing more.

Then I watched AtS, and it saved my life. Angel was me. Loving him, forgiving him, meant loving myself and forgiving myself. Buffy and Angel represented true, forgiving, timeless love; the kind of love that was missing from my life. I was on the outs with my parents, and I had just learned that love is never unconditional, because it very much depends on the expectations we have of our loved ones. But Buffy and Angel’s love was unconditional, and that was important to me.

I was also more infatuated with romantic love at the time, and Buffy and Angel were it in that department. Nowadays though, romantic love seems overrated. I realized that I didn’t want it for myself as much as I wanted to be one of the few who had it. Platonic love means so much more now.

Perhaps that’s why I’ve fallen so in love with Buffy and Angel’s relationship after their breakup. Buffy and Angel are obviously not platonic (as if!), but they share something more lasting than romance. That beautiful, unconditional love I talked about is all the more important now that the impossibility of their romance does not taint it for me. If anything, it elevates it. Love usually dies after a breakup. We move on.

Life is a depressing yet necessary cycle of replacing people. We lose a best friend, we find another. We change doctors. We change partners. We more or less forget about those who used to mean so much to us. It’s sad how love is rarely forever. We naturally stop loving someone when their love is no longer of use to us. Buffy and Angel are precious to me because they represent an utopia in which love is valued because it’s love and loving makes us better people, and not because of what love offers us. I’m not criticizing anyone. We move on for our own protection and because without a connection, love dies. But imagining a world in which true love never fades - even when a relationship ends - and our hearts are fuller and kinder for it, is beautiful to me. Thinking of Buffy and Angel’s love, which adapts itself to time and distance, yet never wavers, and comforts, inspires, and energizes, is as close as it gets to that world.

The second reason why Buffy and Angel are so meaningful to me is because I value my identity and agency above all else. Many people lose themselves in romantic love. They change parts of themselves for another person (love should change you in some way, but naturally). A scary thing about love is meshing your life with another person’s (becoming “we people” as Tyler says in TVD). In our society, we’re told to sacrifice ourselves for relationships, to settle because we should never be alone, to value a romantic relationship over ourselves.

But Buffy and Angel are Buffy and Angel first, and Buffy and Angel second. Buffy sacrificed Angel to save the world, because of her values and responsibilities. Angel "chose” Faith over Buffy because of his values and responsibilities. Buffy and Angel represent individuality, choice: a harmony between loving yourself and loving another person. I’ve fought very hard to know myself, to love myself, to improve myself, to be independent. I think one of the most essential lessons we learn in life is how to just be ourselves. In important relationships, we often fall into the trap of compromising ourselves to please another person. In fact, we (women especially) are taught “people pleasing” very early in life.

The most magical and beautiful thing about Buffy and Angel to me, right now, is that they have separate lives. They don’t need each other. They make their own choices. Yet they still love each other. Forever. They make each other better. They spent years growing apart only to become more alike. Their connection deepens each year that passes because they value their love even more, and know they understand each other more than anyone else.

Freedom is the most precious thing in life. No one truly has it, but we fight for it every day. Buffy and Angel’s love is free, liberating, unconditional, effortless. They don’t need to be together, or to agree on everything. They are who they are, and their love is what it is. And that’s imperfectly perfect.

#wildhorsesweekend #btvs #ats #angel #buffy summers #bangel #I'm finished!#please like this meta because believe it or not it's the only one I'm actually proud of wrting this weekend + friday!#anyway it was great to celebrate buffy and angel #keep bangeling

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eleanorcasco-blog · 5 years ago

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LENNY CASCO. If it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine.

name: eleanor fiona “lenny” casco. dob: 05/30/1994 [twenty-five]. occupation: hair stylist. zodiac: gemini. alignment: chaotic evil. mbti: estp. temperament: choleric. hogwarts house: slytherin. face claim: chloe bridges.

hello, lovelies! i’m liss and i’ll be playing lenny (death of a bachelor). this isn’t as fleshed out as i wanted it to be, but i wanted to get it up so i could start plotting with everyone! i’m busy until sunday afternoon but i’m going to try and be on ims as much as possible. i can’t wait to talk to all of you! you can reach me on here or on discord at liss#4287.

late-night neon 'open’ signs, rain cutting into a curl of smoke, an alarm clock going off in an empty room, gold acrylics tapping frantically against a phone screen, thin fingers combing softly through another’s hair, a storm at the end of a beautiful day, red lipstick on collars, a round of shots, a drawer full of lace, fingertips pulling haunted notes from a keyboard.

- lenny’s parents divorced when she was four, though the two kept close in distance to avoid dragging her all over the place. she lived with her mom until she was eleven, and although she was a spoiled brat and a nightmare to parent, she didn’t often do anything specifically wrong. at that point, however, her father gained primary custody, for reasons still unbeknownst to lenny (nowadays, she doesn’t particularly care the reason).

- her father wasn’t strict about much except school. he had her attend a private school a couple of neighbourhoods over, and it was there that things started to slide downhill. by thirteen, she was smoking, starting fights, having sex. the behavior went by mostly unnoticed, and so it continued. she learned quickly that all of the ‘fun’ things she was doing weren’t all they were cracked up to be--she never felt like she had a particularly exciting youth. she wondered if it was because she’d started so young and just gotten so used to it, or if this edginess of hers just wasn’t as much of a thrill as she’d expected.

- at the beginning of high school, lenny fell in love with music and tried various instruments that never stuck until she found herself playing the keyboard. it was perfect for her, and is still pretty much the only way she lets out any emotions. she’s been in a couple of bands, but isn’t very good at sticking to them.

- lenny has never been in love, but she doesn’t think she’ll ever come as close as she did to the girl she met when she was fifteen. it was a whirlwind romance, over almost as quickly as it had started, characterized by getting high together and fighting way too much. she wouldn’t admit it, but a huge chunk of the reason she doesn’t think she’s going to settle down is because she feels like if that relationship didn’t work out, no other one possibly could. she would scoff at anyone else who thought they had that kind of a connection at fifteen, and if she could look back at it clearly she’d know that it wasn’t ‘that kind’ of a connection at all.

- each summer she spent with her stricter and more attentive mother, and things started to shape up a little bit each time she stayed with her. but each year she would return to school and to her friends and things would go back to ‘normal’. you could call her a modern-day persephone.

- again, school was the one thing her father cared about--so she graduated high school in the top five of her class. she even went to a semester of community college, but after failing almost all of those classes (thanks to poor attendance and a general lack of caring), she dropped out. after all, she was an adult now, and what her father wanted didn’t matter.

- adult or not, she still wasn’t quite ready to be on her own, so she moved back in with her mother. her mom helped her be a better human--taught her to cook, got her to stop smoking (cigarettes, at least) for a while, showed her how to respect herself a little more.

- she got herself a job at a nearby hair salon, having taken cosmetology courses in high school, and she excelled at it. clients not only loved her bubbly and humorous demeanor, but the talent she held for hair styling.

- all forms of art had always been her strong point, actually, including her favorite--street art. she loves making her mark on the city. she’s always careful not to get caught, and never has been.

- lenny is always insistent on using condoms, for multiple reasons... except when she’s too far gone to notice. when she was twenty, she found out she was pregnant. she didn’t think twice about having an abortion--at least, not until she’d had it. it wasn’t that she wanted a baby at all, because she didn’t and doesn’t think she ever really will. but to this day, she can’t help but wonder from time to time what stage her child would be in, what they would be like. she’d love to dip into an alternate universe where she could have those answers. she doesn’t get sad often, but when she does, it’s often her being wistful about the questions she has.

- at around twenty-two, she moved into her own apartment on venice blvd and has lived there ever since. she’s made a few friends and a few enemies since moving in, but she’s always felt that life is more exciting with a few enemies--she thrives off of drama. she’s often out of the apartment building, anyway, either at work or out on the town. when she is home, she can often be found roaming the building looking for something to do or a partner in crime; she needs constant stimulation or she gets antsy.

- lenny has lost a lot of friends over the years, for plenty of reasons. she’s fiercely loyal to her true ride-or-dies but not at all loyal to those friends that aren’t quite there. she’ll stab most people in the back if it means getting her way or having a good time. she also has quite the attitude, and has been known to pick fights just to have something to do. some friends just drifted away after realizing that she wasn’t going to grow out of the partying and drugs and shitty behavior.

- she’s very much into herself. she’s her own biggest fan. her arrogance and pride can backfire on her sometimes, but she doesn’t learn her lesson. in her eyes, it’s much better to be cocky than to be self-deprecating--and who wouldn’t be cocky, if they were as great as her?

wanted connections:

* all connections are open to all genders. platonic connections are open to all ages and romantic connections should be within a few years of 25.

- ride-or-dies: lenny has probably two or three super close friends, and she would do anything for them. and more importantly, she would never do anything to them, which is more than she could say about most of her friends. could be a ‘likely’ friend who has the same idea of a good time as she does, or an ‘unlikely’ friend who might be quiet, super nice, or a bit of a goody-two-shoes.

- partner in crime: this is her go-to person for getting blitzed with, the person she brings with her to watch or join in on her street art, and the person she feels most comfortable telling her craziest stories to.

- good influence: they try their best to keep her in line, but she’s not the type to be easily kept in line.

- childhood friend: they were good friends in elementary school but have long since drifted apart.

- ex-friends: she’s most likely the reason they aren’t still friends. she may have betrayed them somehow, or they may have just gotten sick of her behavior.

- exes: she probably cheated on them, started too many stupid fights, or got sick of them and ghosted them. she’s never been in love, although she may have been really close with one or two of her exes.

- current flings/hook-ups: lenny will go for anyone she finds attractive, even if they don’t mesh well at all, and even if she thinks they’ll say no (though she doesn’t often think that). this could be just about anyone who could put up with her.

- unrequited crush: could go either way. lenny doesn’t crush often but it’s not impossible.

- enemies: a lot of her ‘enemies’ are people she used to be friends with, but there are certainly plenty of people she’s just always disliked and who have always disliked her. she gets off on the wrong foot with a lot of people.

- roommate: lenny’s family is relatively well-off but she prefers not to take money from her parents, so i could see her having a roommate to split the bills with. they could get along or completely butt heads.

- cousins: lenny has lived in the area her whole life and has a pretty big extended family.

- bandmates: she plays the keyboard and i envision her as being in a band. that said, her priorities aren’t very straight and her dedication isn’t very strong, which could cause problems.

- clients: whether they love her (her work personality is much more pallatable than her normal) or don’t like her, they come back for the amazing work she does on their hair.

- gym buddy: lenny isn’t the type to go to the gym every day, but she tries to go a few times a week to keep in shape.

- dealer: she’s gotta get ‘em from someone.

#vinyl.intro #drugs tw #alcohol tw #abortion tw

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anon-luv · 7 years ago

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I’ll Never Be Her(4) [Jimin X Reader]

Pairing: Jimin X Reader

Genre: Angst/ Romance

Summary: You loved him with all your heart, but he could only give you half of his.

Jimin was the love of your life, your night in shining armor when she wasn’t around.

She was his ex girlfriend, his first love, actually she was his many firsts and she kept coming back.

He had warned you she was his weakness, but you didn’t listen, because to you having him even if it was only partially was better than not having him at all.

At least for now.

Rated M: Sexual Scenes and Languages that might not be appropriate for all ages.

Word Count: 4.1K+

Author’s Note: Sorry it took so long. I have a new job and I am going through orientation and that takes a lot of my time. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I overthought the world like I always do, but I am hoping it is of your satisfaction.

You know how much I love receiving your comments/messages/asks/reblog tags

I look through every single one of them :D and I will try my hardest to respond to them as well.

Let me know what you all think. There is only one chapter left and an epilogue ;) are you all excited??

I am so nervous to post this haha. LEAVE SOME LOVE!

I want to thank all my readers and mutuals for their support.

Specially @b-angst-tan who has been a lovely editor/ beta love her!!

The dim lighting in the narrow halls along with the stale smell of cleaning supplies had you on the verge of waddling back to the safety of Jin’s car. The squeaking of your shoes echoed loudly on the barely inhabited waiting area. The dull sickly shades of green intimidating the living daylights out of you, as you made your way towards the nurse station and registration area slowly, wary of tripping and eating shit, which to be honest with your luck nowadays it wouldn’t come as a surprise.

“Hello, Darling! May I help you with something? You look a little lost there.” An older looking lady with peppered hair said giving you a small smile.

You nodded as you rubbed your belly, a weird feeling erupting from the pit of your stomach, making it feel a bit sensitive and stiff as if you were flexing. You took a deep breath and quietly cursed your body’s onset timing for what you had concluded were Braxton Hicks. You smiled back ignoring the weird sensation, “Yes, I came to visit a patient.”

“That’s great. What is the patient’s name? Are you a family member?” she asked as she started clicking away on her computer.

“No...I am not...actually…” You started only to be interrupted by a familiar, deep honey-like voice.

“Y/N?” a familiar deep voice questioned as he came into full view.

He looked different than last time you saw him. His usually bleach blond locks were now dyed a dark brown that matched perfectly with his brown orbs. He smiled at you, the familiar gummy smile that you had grown to love and now associate to a brotherly figure.

“Yoongi!” You said smiling widely at him, the sorrow and pain associated with Jimin’s abandonment forgotten for a brief moment as you were engulfed in a warm hug, “I’ve missed you so much. It’s been way too long!”

He chuckled as he ruffled your hair, “Yeah I know. Last time I saw you, you didn’t look like you were hiding a basketball underneath your shirt. I am wondering how you haven’t fallen face first with that cute belly of yours. You are definitely glowing and look absolutely stunning, Stef was right.”

Your face paled at the mention of her name as Yoongi’s bright smile turned into a grimace.

“Yeah, Stephany….How is she doing??” You asked trying to sound unaffected as the light tremble of your voice gave you away.

Yoongi reached for your hand, squeezing it reassuringly, “She is doing good..actually, I was going to ask you.. is it okay if we have a coffee and maybe talk??”

You nodded, ��Milk and cookies and you have a deal.” Another awkward cramp shot up your back making you squirm in place, “Is there a cafeteria or something. My pregnant butt needs to sit.”

Yoongi nods happily, “Yeah, it is right over there, let me help you with that.” He said taking the damp umbrella and purse from your hands.

You waddled next to him as he glanced at you every once in a while with a small smile on his face.

You plopped down happily at the first table you found, not even giving Yoongi the opportunity to seek out another one.

“I’ll be back,” he said as he walked towards the small serving area. The cafeteria was for the most part empty other than the bored looking teenage cashier who you were more than sure was more focused on the pink cell phone on her hand than her surroundings.

Yoongi placed a warm cup of milk and a bag of chocolate chip cookies on the table, displaying it as a beautiful buffet for your weak for munchies ass.

“So what do you want to talk about?” You asked as you eagerly opened the bag in front of you and plopped a whole cookie in your mouth successfully.

“I want to say I am sorry.” He said no longer looking at you, but instead focusing at the gray, dull coffee mug in front of him as if it was an intricate piece of art, “I called Jimin…..I told him to come.”

The hunger that had been pestering you since you had left your apartment, evaporated into nothingness with that lone sentence. Your belly contracted a bit more painful than usual as you wiggled yourself repositioning to hopefully soothe the dull tightness.

“How?” You asked quietly as you stared up into his eyes, your own already tearing up from all the emotions you had bottled up all these years, “How..how..how can you do it? How do you just sit and watch, as you watch her walk away into someone else’s arms, arms that aren’t yours? How do you go to sleep and wake up without knowing if she is going to be there in the morning? How do you numb yourself knowing that you might not be her first priority? How…..do you make it stop hurting? Does it hurt you as much as it hurts me? Cause….fuck ….excuse my french…..The only thing that comes to mind is ‘that fucking bitch’ when I hear her name coming from his lips. And it sucks because I know Stephany. I have grown close to her in ways I probably shouldn’t have. I love and care for her as well, but I am not okay with it..especially when it comes to Jimin’s love. I can’t stand watching her dance around boundaries she shouldn’t be crossing in the first place”

Yoongi ruffled his hair, the sadness in his eyes clearly noticeable, something you had never witnessed personally, “To be honest...I hate it....but at the same time….. I have come to realize that the only reason why I have put up with it in the first place is because I am fucking selfish.”

“Wait… How are you selfish? If anything Stephany is the selfish one. I don’t deserve this... You do not deserve this” you asked puzzled at his response.

“Look..” he said ruffling his hair nervously with one hand, “Stephany is my world. From the very first time I laid eyes on her, I knew she was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We have gone through so many things together, and I was there to pick up every piece whenever she would fall apart in my arms. When we found out about Nataly she was ecstatic, everything was getting better and then…. As I held our little girl in my arms I noticed something was off. Stephany seemed fine for the first few weeks, until one day she locked herself for three days in her room with our child refusing to come out unless it was absolutely necessary. She wouldn’t eat, she would barely talk, and she rarely slept. She had become so absorbed in her own little world, that she panicked if I even got near Nataly.” Yoongi sighs, but continues explaining himself.

“Then one day I ran into Jimin, I had not seen him in a while, and after exchanging numbers I was on my merry way. Stephany deteriorated and I took her almost forcefully to the doctor. That is when she got diagnosed with Postpartum Depression. I reached out to various resources trying to figure out how to help the love of my life, and after several therapy sessions and group talks I found out that sometimes an outlet or maybe revisiting things that had made her happy in the past can help to break the wall she was building around herself. I remembered how much she talked about Jimin and the adventures they would have when they were young. And that is when I decided that maybe meeting up with him would be a good idea. I wrote down his information on a sticky note before work hoping she would find it since she refused to acknowledge me on her low days. Before I knew it she was gone... And then... she left Nataly at his door... and I knew I had fucked up. From then on she did it several times... She would run from me and go to him..but she always comes back and I much rather have that and know she is safe even if it is not with me than have her leave and never return...”

You wiped the tears away from your eyes as you saw Yoongi fall apart bit by bit till he was a sobbing mess, you reached out your hand to grasp his tightly, “Yoongi, I know... With me and Jimin... it is not the same but I have had to share too and it is not healthy Yoongi. I have excused this behavior for years now and now that it will not only affect me but my babies as well. I’ve come to realize that sometimes you have to set your foot down.”

“I love her... And she’s not well... I feel like it is my fault... I am so sorry (Y/n) I didn’t think it was going to get this bad. I love you and even though he can be an asshole at times, I love Jimin as well. You have been such a great help with Nataly and Stephany. I am so sorry I didn’t talk to you about this before. I was scared. I thought if I didn’t address the problem it would just disappear... and it just got bigger and bigger. I know about everything (Y/n)... The kiss they almost shared and every time she would invade both of your lives and I am so sorry. I am going to make this okay and be stronger for her. That is why I am taking her away. Once she gets better... Maybe we can try this friendship thing again... Maybe, if you don’t hate us too much. It was not Jimin, (Y/n) I was the one at fault… I should’ve told her not to go. I should’ve taken care of her better so she wouldn’t have to seek anyone else but me. I am so sorry. Jimin really does love you (Y/n), he was just helping Stephany….us out.”

You gave him a side smile as you wiped the tears from your face. “Sure... that sounds good. And don’t be silly... We are always going to be friends.” you said as you grasped his face in your hand and wiped a tear away... Now let’s stop crying and start eating. My kids need to grow.”

Yoongi shook his head disbelievingly as a choked up sob came out mixed with a laugh, “Thank you, you are honestly one of the most amazing and understanding people on the world. Love you.”

“Love you too, Yoongi.” You said as Yoongi grasped both your hands in his, “You can do this Yoongi. You take care of your girls.”

He gave a gummy smile, “Thank you (y/n), I will.” He said as he stole a cookie from your hand.

You scowled at him playfully, “That, though...I might not forgive.”

You walked the hallways alone. The voices and whispers around you made your growing anxiety click like a bomb waiting to explode as you searched the room number Yoongi had written on your hand. Yoongi had left you on your own to head back home and continue packing. You had assured him you would be fine over and over again before he relented and went on his way.

Your phone vibrated in your hand a notification popped up showing Jin’s name.

I hope everything is ok. I am still outside just in case you need me. I will be waiting for you.

Jin 4:05pm

I am okay Jin love. I should be out soon. Just saying bye.

(Y/n) 4:06

You placed the phone back in your pocket, and out of nowhere, a familiar laugh sounded through the halls. Your pace quickened as you finally met up with the number you had been searching for what it felt like forever.

Your feet traveled towards the door that was left slightly ajar.“Nataly, you know that pink isn’t my color!” You heard Jimin say dramatically, as you peeked in through the door quietly.“But the ponytails look great on you and I ran out of blue rubber bands!” Nataly replied as she leaned in placing a smooch on his cheek.

Your breath hitched as you took in the sight of Jimin kneeling on the floor, as Nataly sat on the edge of the bed doing his hair. Stephany sat on a bed with a wide grin on her face as her hand rested on Jimin’s. If a stranger would come in they would assume they were the happiest of families. The giggles inside the room were filled with pure happiness.

Stephany looked small in the medical bed, her usual full blond hair looked frizzy and unkept, her blue-eyed pools that could drown you were more of an icy gray, and her usually rosy cheeks looked gaunt and pale. Even in her current condition, she looked absolutely gorgeous, like a fairytale princess. Your stomach clenched again as you took an instinctive deep breath to soothe the uncomfortable pang.

A flashback of Yoongi’s voice resounded reminding you of how frail and delicate the woman you had believed was strong truly was.

Yoongi’s watery broken eyes staring straight at you flashed in your brain taking over your senses, “She took pills (Y/n), I got there just in time... But I almost lost her...”

Jimin stood up from his previous position and sat next to Stephany on the bed. She ran her small hand through his hair as he leaned into her warmth.

“You’re like a puppy Chimchim!” She said giggling as he stuck out his tongue playfully. Nataly quickly sat on his lap as she licked his cheek, “I wanna be a puppy too!”

You smiled at the scene unfolding as you rubbed your stomach that was once again cramping. You sighed sadly as you took a step back.

You couldn't do this. You didn’t want to interfere. They looked so happy and at peace. Maybe Stephany wasn’t the problem...maybe it had always been you.

Jimin leaned in to place a soft kiss on the crown of her forehead, the same kind you had felt every night you had spent in his arms as you crossed the threshold to dreamland. His soft plump lips blessing you with sweet dreams through the night.

You turned away from them and back to the door you had come from, throwing down the white towel...you had given up.

The rain poured relentlessly as you exited the building, camouflaging the tears that were falling down your face. You grasped your purse tightly against you as if it was a stress ball, turning your knuckles white.

It hurt, it really pained you to leave the man you loved behind. You were weak, you couldn’t do this.

Stephany didn’t have to leave. You did. They needed him. He had known this, but your selfish self had been reading way too much into it.

Nataly’s glimmering eyes as she stared at Jimin as if he was Superman himself.

You could stay…. You could bare it through at his side until Stephany got better… but when would that be?? Would it be a year from now??? Maybe 10???

The ongoing battle in your mind had caused another onset of cramps as you slowed down in place.

“Fuck...” you said out loud, as the cramp got more intense.

“(Y/n), are you okay??” You heard Jin say as he stood in front of you with an umbrella that was now covering you. The water was dripping against his forehead as he shivered.

“Seokjin, what are you doing outside?” You said trying to get closer to him so the umbrella could cover him as well.

“I told you I would be waiting for you silly.” He replied rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I know dork, but what are you doing out in the rain??” You asked as you brushed away a raindrop on his eyelash.

He gave you a nervous smile, “I was debating whether to go in or not… You were taking too long and I was starting to get worried.”

You shook your head with a small smile, “Jin, I really don’t deserve your ass!”

“You don’t, but I am here so.... how about we go back to the car? It’s starting to get chilly.” Jin replied as he wrapped a strong arm around you, “You are okay though, right?”

“Yes I am fine”

You lied.

There was something about Jimin’s eyes that had always captivated you. They were brown, the color of an old oak tree you would climb during the hot summers of your youth. Home, that is what his eyes would take you back to, in them you drowned and reminisced of the times where your biggest worry was learning how to tie your shoelaces.

His warmth was addicting. Being near him had always put you at ease no matter the situation. The way his strong arms would wrap around your waist pulling you into a tight embrace, flesh against flesh. A feeling that would borderline trigger your claustrophobia had become your favorite sensation.

The way his fringe would fall against his brow as he leaned down to capture your lips as he thrusted into you throughout the night, making you come undone over and over again, the both of you becoming one, would be an image embedded in your memory. A treasure you would admire from afar, too precious to touch.

The smile that had made you fall in love with him was not only reflected on his mouth, but also within the crinkles that appeared right beside his eyes. The contagious happiness that spread all over your body with every giggle and smirk that was thrown your way… There was nothing that would ever compare to that.

Just like in tug a war, as soon as the rope commences to burn along your skin and a light prickle of a sting awakens the trigger to drop it and give up, sometimes in life you must learn to let go.

Stubborn Love had held your hand and walked you all along the way, only stopping where you were at now, but your overly conscious insecurities and consistent state of neediness and selfishness could no longer bear the weight that had fallen upon your relationship from the very beginning, as the weak foundation it had been built on was hanging on by a thread, threatening to collapse at any moment.

Jin’s fingers tapped softly yet relentlessly along the steering wheel. You could tell he was anxious to question what had happened, but he knew better. Jin knew you. You sneaked glances his way as he focused on the road. Jin was handsome and strong, he had always been your shoulder to cry on and your personal diary; the only one who truly knew how you felt about Jimin and Stephany’s relationship. There were times where you wondered why hadn’t you fallen in love with him instead. From the beginning, you had never had doubts about your friendship or his loyalty. He knew your likes, dislikes, and where to set his boundaries.

The car stopped suddenly breaking you away from the thoughts that had been clouding your mind. He took a glance your way, catching your eyes with his brown ones. He tilted his head as he leaned in to wipe a tear that had been trailing along your cheek. You laid your hand against his letting it rest on your cheek. Your lips kissed the sensitive skin of his wrist as more tears traveled down your face.

“(Y/N)”, he whispered as his own voice was wavering slightly with emotions. You looked up to meet his eyes and you noticed they now looked pink and swollen, “I’m sorry…. I am really sorry about everything. I am sorry I pushed you his way. I didn’t know. I should’ve…”

You shook your head as you let go of his hand and it fell against your lap, “You have nothing to be sorry about Jin. You have been nothing less than wonder…ful. Sorry, I am having those fake contractions or whatever….they’re just uncomfortable.” You said, rubbing your belly.

“Let’s get you to bed.” He replied as he got out of the car quickly and ran to your side to help you out. You walked next to him as he held your hand all the way to your shared apartment with Jimin. You paused every once in a while to rub the cramp out of your belly.

The place felt cold and empty as you walked inside, the framed pictures taking you back to a happy place for a few seconds before reality came crashing down once again.

“(Y/N), I think you should lay down…. I’m starting to get worried about those cramps you are having.” Jin said as he took off his wet jacket. The rain had done a number on him as he made sure to cover you entirely with the umbrella leaving no room for himself.

You walked up to him and wrapped your arms around him tightly giving no fucks about the cold rainwater that was now soaking through your shirt, “Thank you Jin. Thank you so much. You deserve the world… scratch that, you deserve the whole fucking galaxy at this point.”

Jin chuckled lightly as he returned the hug and ran a hand through your hair. You felt a warm kiss against your head that had you looking up at his tall frame. He was close, so close to your now blushing face. His warm peppermint breath fanning against your skin. At this distance, you could make out every single eyelash, and can now perfectly memorize the pink that laid upon his plush lips.

“(Y/N),” he whispered softly enough to have you wondering if he had truly said something or it had just been a figment of your imagination.

You hummed questioningly not backing away.

“You are my galaxy,” he whispered as he leaned down to kiss your forehead quickly about to back away from you as to not invade your personal space. Before he could take a step back your hands reached out to grasp his collar tightly.

His pupils dilated with mixed emotions you had never been able to decipher before, but now were as clear as day.

A second. That is all it took for you to completely erase every thought, memory, and guilt. That one second is all it took for you to fuse your lips against Jin’s blurring out the world. His lips were sweet and warm. They felt safe. They felt like they could be home. He responded almost automatically holding you closer than before, but then as you felt him ask for entrance Jimin’s face popped into your mind. The way Jimin’s hands held your face as he deepened his kisses as his thumb caressed the back of your ear soothingly as opposed to Jin’s, that were holding on to your sides with trembling fingers, wary that you would push him away. Jimin nibbled on your bottom lip softly whenever he would ask for entrance causing your core to explode with heat that could overpower a volcano anyday. Jin was careful and soft, licking your bottom lip before you allowed him to take over. Jimin was rough and passionate. Jin was soft and careful. Jimin was dangerous and unpredictable. Jin was safe and cautious.

Jimin…..

A warm liquid traveled along your leg. At first, you thought it was the rainwater dripping from Jin’s soaked clothes, but the drip turned into a continuous leak and the contrast from the cold water falling from his hair to your face was quite obvious.

Jin backed away before you could react. His face went into panic mode as he looked down, the clear evidence of the unknown liquid all over the floor and his pants.

“Did I make you pee yourself??” He asked in a small, confused voice.

You remained quiet and stunned as you looked at your belly.

Jin caught onto your line of sight staring with wide eyes and open mouth gaping at your belly.

Frightened, you stared up at him, “Jin, I think my water broke...”

Before you could react Jin had already picked you up in his arms cradling you easily against his body. Your instincts kicked in as you kept in mind the birthing classes you had forcefully attended.

“Wait, what the hell are you doing??? You know I can walk right?? Just go get the two diaper bags next to my bed and let’s go to the hospital. Everything is going to be okay. Look at me.” You said grasping his face in your hands as soon as he set you back on your feet. Jin’s face was red and you could tell he was borderline hyperventilating. “I can’t have you pass out on me, so follow along to my breathing pattern…. In …...out…….In ….Out. Better??” you asked as he nodded quickly, “Okay, it’s time to go.”

#kreativewritersnet #kkreationsnet #networkbangtan #kpopwonderlandtag #bts angst #bts romance #jimin fanfic #jimin scenario #jimin angst #jimin romance #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #jimin x reader #jimin x you #seokjin scenarios #seokjin fanfic #seokjin angst #jimin series

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flockofdoves · 5 years ago

Note

hxh and/or fma (for the anime ask meme)

hxh

don’t watch period| drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes| give it a go, could be your thing| 5 star recommendation

fav characters: i love all the main 4 but definitely gravitate a lot to kurapika!! for more minor characters theres so many but i love knuckle bine a lot dfkjghdfk. also i love alluka and nanika so much my daughters

least fav characters: hisoka, also palm like while i want hisoka to die i Guess i can appreciate his aesthetic far away from gon and killua and also like . i guess he can be an example of how unaccommodating towards kids hxh’s freak ancap society can be but palm just being a pedophile but played for laughs but also theres weird misogyny and ableism in her characterization and then all of a sudden we’re just gonna forget all that and she’s cool now?????? hewwo??????? i would prefer hxh if she did not exist or if a palm siberia that looked similar (again a nice aesthetic) but was entirely not the same character. like . what was gained from this oh my god.

fav relationship: gon and killua!!!!! ofc i love leorio and kurapika too but killua and gon is so blatant and i feel it could literally happen or at least just . they just Are each others first loves and they make me emotional in so many ways. non romantically just the found family in the main 4 and also killua and alluka and then killua coming to love and understand nanika too through alluka caring for her…. oh my god…. Siblings….

fav moment: omg uhhhh theres a lot?? a big one that immediately comes to mind tho is killua pulling out illumis needle ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

headcanons/theories: i think we should find a way to synthesize both the fantheory that gon was born as some . homunculus thing from the greed island pregnancy stone and the one that pariston and ging fucked and pariston is gon’s other parent for the most distressing gon origin story

unpopular opinion: i know i have some but i don’t remember atm i’ve already rambled way too much rn

how’d you find it: i literally don’t remember i gotta think about this tbh i’ve been into hxh since i was like 14?? like yeah everyone whos ever been into anime has at least heard of hxh in passing but i feel like there wass some specific prompting for me getting into it that i can’t remember anymore. almost don’t want to remember because theres a high chance it was bc of some people i get sad thinking about now but out of all the people i was around back then fortunately i think it seems most likely i got into it bc of one of the few people i still care for among the people i hung out around as a young teen

random thoughts: i’m a fake fan i’m still not caught up with the manga i love it so much but i’ve barely read any manga i care about these past couple years i just know what people are talking about through osmosis nowadays i REALLY wanna legit catch up !!!!!

fma

don’t watch period| drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes| give it a go, could be your thing| 5 star recommendation

my bolds make no sense on this one and thats because i’m a fake!!!!! i was absolutely obsessed with fmab as a tween and watched almost all of it but then netflix didnt have the last season and that was when i was dumb and the only thing i ever pirated was glee on megavideo so me and my brother watched the last season by recording it when it was airing on adult swim and i know i got so close to the end but like somewhere towards the last few episodes i’m assuming (??) my brother watched it when i wasn’t home and then my parents deleted the recording before i could watch it and then i just???????? never watched it??????

so tl;dr i watched the vast majority of fmab (and started the manga) as a tween but like. never finished it and i was in love with it then but its been so long now i don’t trust my opinions to be very accurate about it.

i really really want to actually finish it some day!!! but at this point i feel like i should just restart so thats why i keep putting it off bc thats gonna take some dedication when i barely finish shorter things even anymore

so. disclaimer the following is very much filtered through me as a 13 year old and my memories from that plus how friends who love it have influenced me since fdjkghdfkj

fav characters: back then al was my favorite character and i had a crush on izumi curtis dkfjghkdf and then i always loved scar but now i feel he’d def be my fav

least fav characters: i had dumb opinions about this back then i’m sure. i think now i’d probably dislike roy even tho i used to like him. i dont remember enough to say more

fav relationship: i wasn’t big on ships watching it as a kid but i appreciated winry and ed idk. in retrospect and from fanwork friends share i think ed and ling seems like a lot of fun?? oh wait who was that one other mechanic girl i think i shipped her with winry very casually back then??? (edit: ig she wasnt a mechanic i got confused bc she showed winry who made her automail but i meant paninya!!!) but in retrospect i stayed away from fanworks bc they made me uncomfortable with all the gross shit but i didn’t think i was justified in feeling like that :(

fav moment: back then i thought the reveal of some of the people who ended up being homunculuses was so Epic but idk now

headcanons/theories: idk enough!!!!

unpopular opinion: idk probably like ……. going in being conscious of imperialism stuff now i’m sure i’ll have more contrary opinions than i used to but idk enough yet

how’d you find it: i literally just was going through netflix like ‘oh this is a popular anime’ and put it on on a whim

random thoughts: this whole ask took me so long to answer why am i so rambly djfkghjkdfgh also god. my terrible pattern of never finishing media for the smallest of reasons. one day i will actually consume media that takes brain power to process again…… i mostly just read like. romance webcomics and fanfic nowadays rip

thank you for this!!!!

#cpost #asks #galarianlucario #hxh blogging

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calliecat93 · 6 years ago

Text

My Top 10 (Current) Favorite Ships

Happy Valentines Day everyone! I am once again single and have still never so much as held hands with another person! GO ME AND HOW MUCH I SUCK AT LOVE! HAHA... wow I just made myself sad. But hey, just because my love life sucks doesn’t mean that I can’t celebrate it. So to celebrate the holidays, I am going to talk about my Top 10 Favorite Ships... at the current time anyways.

I have a... complicated relationship with ships. I don’t like getting into them much. I have several, don’t get me wrong, but they’re normally either canon ones or ones teased hard enough. But because of shipping wars and stuff, shipping has become a tainted subject for me. The A:TLA and Voltron fandoms alone have made me concerned about creators personal safety cause how dare these two specific characters not bang. But this isn’t about that, this is about the ships I have enjoyed. Ones I grew up on, ones I got into recently, and ones that have stuck with me throughout the highs and lows. Which can perfectly describe true love, sticking together through everything throughout the good and the bad.

So without further ado, let us begin!

#10. Tommy Oliver and Kimberly Hart (MMPR)

Even before I knew what shipping was, I loved these two. Like a lot of 90′s kids, I grew up on Power Rangers, and I still keep up with it form time to time. Even with my faded childhood memories (MMPR came out when I was like... six months old), I remember adoring these two. No specific reasons why, I just remember seeing them to all the stuff that even as a kid, I knew that couples did. GO on dates, give gifts, kiss each other, all that cute stuff. They were happy together and while the characters are kinda bland, their chemistry worked really well. Even now as an adult, as cheesy as the original show was, I still squeel whenever I see Tommy and Kimberly just talking or kissing. It was just sweet, and I loved them... even if after Tommy became the leader, Kim fell into damsel in distress mode more and more, but hey she still had her awesome moments.

It was also the first ship I had that got royally screwed up by the writers! Kim left the show because her actress wanted to quit, which is fair enough and it was handled very well. What wasn't handled well was in the Zeo season, they had Kim send a Dear John letter and break up with Tommy off-screen cause she found another guy. Why? To That Tommy can hook up with the current Pink Rangers. Now I have nothing against Cat, she was a perfectly fine character... bUT THIS WAS STUPID. No build-up, it’s done out of nowhere off-screen, it caused a rushed/forced romance that no one wanted, and considering Tommy appeared in the future and was single, it went NOWHERE. If they wanted a romance, they had plenty of other options. This was a HUGE middle finger to everyone who cared about the characters imo, and I am still bitter about it. In my mind years later, Tommy and Kim hooked up again and IDC what that one Christmas episode said. That is my headcanon, and I am sticking to it until I die.

So yeah, Tommy and Kimberly. My very first ship and it still holds a special place in my heart. Couldn’t make this list and not mention it.

#9. Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable (Kim Possible)

Tommy/Kimberly was my first ship... but as a little kid, I wasn't that invested in it. I just saw them do cute couple stuff and found it cute. But Kim and Ron? I watched Kim Possible since the day it premiered. I got to watch their relationship form beginning to end. I imagine that most have seen KP, but for those who don’t, Kim is a spy why can do anything while Ron is her buffon best friend/sidekick. Kim is confident, strong, and popular while Ron is goofy, easily scared, and very clumsy. But Ron is also more grounded to reality and capable of normal things like working in fast food or cooking, while Kim constantly stresses over things like romance and at accomplishing everything. Two very different people, yet they complete each other. Kim can get Ron to stand up for himself, and Ron can bring Kim down back to earth. It’s really funny when we see how they met, where Kim was very insecure and Ron stood up for her, and it was that act that provoked Kim to fight back.

Throughout the series, they bicker a lot but are there for each other. Ron helps Kim on her missions despite his incompetence, and Kim appreciates him for that. Ron supports Kim through situations like talking to a boy, even if he doesn't necessarily get what she sees in them. There’s always been this underlying theme that they might have feelings for each other with things like A Sitch in TIme and the episode Emotion Sickness really emphasizing their relationship/potential feelings. It finally came to a head in So the Drama where Ron fully realized his feelings when Kim got a ‘perfect’ boyfriend. It has Kim stressing over prom and not wanting to go with he r’just a friend’ Ron, Ron feeling alone cause Kim barley pays him attention in a way that’s sympathetic and not asshole-ish, and it ends with Ron helping Kim back up at her lowest point, Kim realizing how Ron had always been there, and... well look at the screencap I used to see how it ended.

Kim and Ron complete each other. They bring out the best in each other and bring them back down when they go too far. They bicker, but they also support each other, even if they don’t always like what the other is doing. We get to see them together at their best and their worst, and it ends on a very satisfying note... and then S4 happened, but meh. It’s still a great ship with two really good characters, and ho boy do i still love it.

#8. Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste + all other subsequent combos (Miraculous Ladybug)

Probably no surprise to my followers that this is on here... but some may raise a brow that it’s only at eight. To put it simply, with how the show has been going as of late, I have a LOOOOT of issues with it right now. But I want to use this to praise ships I like, not break them down so I’ll save that for another day.

This one is cute. Marinette is a good-hearted girl who has a huge crush on Adrien, while Adrien is in love with Mari’s superhero identity Ladybug. And with his hero identity of Cat Noir, we have one of the most insane love triangles in history. Adrinette, Maricat, Ladynoir, Ladrien, you get so many flavors of ships with just these two people! My favorite version is Ladrien since it’s the most natural imo and the one with equal pining, but they’re all the same two people so IDT it matters.

The show is about these two’s relationship. That is the heart of the show. Again, there are problems that I’m not going to go into, but overall I like them together. Marinette can get a little... too into her crush, but we do see that her feelings are genuine and it’s because Adrien showed her some kindness. While Adrien doesn't know that Mari is Ladybug, his feelings for Ladybug are because of her confidence and strength, which he starts to see in Mari too. This is the longest Slow Burn story ever and tbh, I want them to just go ahead and get on with it. But hey, I will find them cute and I like their interactions, so there’s that~

So of course a TMNT ship was going to end up on here. Now I almost put Apritello on here... but nowadays after all the recent stuff in the news, it’s... a little hard to look back on. So I tried to think of someone else, and while I considered Ramona... I decided to go with this:

#7. Hamato Yoshi/Master Splinter and Tang-Shen (TMNT 2012)

One episode.

The show had one episode to show these two’s relationship. Shen had been mentioned in the past, but this was the one and only time we’d get to see her. And OMG, did they pull it off perfectly.

They sold me on this romance in a single episode. Yoshi is a loving husband, but also tied to his fmaily loyalties even if it contradicts what Shen wants. Shen wants a happy life with her husband and child, but has to put up with Yoshi’s indecisiveness and she’s understandably fed up. They do a very good job of showing Shen as a strong-willed woman whose first priority is her daughter but that she does love Yoshi and is understanding. Yoshi is a very flawed person, but he does try to make it work and his love for his wife and daughter are very clear. It’s not perfect, no marriage is. But that love is so clear, and you can feel it every second that Tale of the Yokai plays.

TMNT 2012 has received many critiques in how it handled romance. It went too quick, the girls were reverted to just love interests, the boys are creepers, plenty of things. And they are understandable. But they clearly recognized that if they wanted this episode to leave the impact that they wanted, they had to make YOshi and Shen’s relationship strong. And they did. From beginning to end, you feel for both of them. Shen isn’t just some woman that existed for backstory, she had a personality and independence, which makes you care for her and about her relationship with Yoshi. And therefore, even though you know how it’s going to end, when Shen inevitably gets killed and you hear Yoshi just sob in despair, you’re sobbing right along with him.

So yeah, I love these two. It’s tragic, but beautifully done. I love it~

#6. Edward Elric and Winry Rockbell (FMA: Brotherhood)

For the record, I am specifically talking about the Brotherhood version, not the 2003 version where their relationship went nowhere.

Okay, Ed and Winry. God I LOOOVE them. I know that Roy/Hawkeye is the favorite... but most of their relationship is left implied and open-ended with no actual ‘I love you’ or anything. So even if it was obvious what Arakawa was saying, I... felt like there wasn’t enough to make me care about them as a ship. Not the case with these two!

Their relationship is just so sweet. They’re childhood friends who both go through crap. Winry lost her parents at a young age, and Ed and Al’s mother died of illness and then the alchemy stuff happened and.. yeah. Throughout it all, Winry supported Ed and Al, helping Ed with his automail even when he keeps breaking t and supporting him through his quest to restore his and Al’s bodies. Throughout the series, Ed tries to support and protect Winry, especially when she tries to kill her parents killer and he talks her down. Overtime, they start recognizing their feelings and it was funny, cute, and after all the Hell everyne goes through, something that they deserved.

The ending to Brotherhood, with Ed’s dorky proposal, is still one of the most heartwarming moments in anime period. Ed got the happy ending that he earned, Winry got to be with the boy that she supported through Hell and back, and it felt natural and super satisfying. It promised a happy future for everyone, and like everyone had truly earned their happy ending. We had gotten to see these two together, through both the good and bad, and how far they were willing to go for each other and their well-being. It’s just a super sweet romance, and I thank Brotherhood for existing so that we could have it.

I REALLY wish that I had more same-sex ships on here. But many of the more popular ones either are fetishisized, the actual work never had that intention, or the fandom got so rabid over it that it killed any potential enjoyment for me (looking at you Voltron). Doesn't help that in animation, there’s so few same-sex couples even if stuff like Steven Universe has been helping. But... I was able to think of one that I liked.

#5. Avatar Korra and Asami Sato (The Legend of Korra)

YOu have NO IDEA how happy I was when this became canon. Okay yes, I know that it wans’t said in the show, but Bryke confirmed it and explained why they couldn’t do anything more explict (Nick didn’t want to anger international audiences). As such, I am forgiving of it and still happy that it’s a thing.

While I liked The Legend of Korra (more than A:TLA even if it is the better show), they... sucked at romances. Dear God everything they did with Mako in S1 and 2, I do NOT even want to think over it. Let sput it this way, I got tired of the live triangle so much that I started crackshipping Korra and Asami together because they deserved SOMETHING happy. When S3 had them getting closer, I liked it as I liked seeing two girls just be friends and not over a boy... but I didn’t see it as shippy since I thought that there was no way that Nickelodoen would allow it, plus after the previous mess I didn’t want them to touch romance EVERY again with this series.

Then the S3 finale and start of S4 happened... and I seriously started wondering. Asami was the one specifically reaching out to and helping Korra after what the Red Lotus did. Asami was the only one that Korra tried to reach out to after she went home. They both seemed very happy to see each other again, and much of S4 is focuse don them together as well as the previous one. And, of course, the series ended specifically with them, just as A:TLA specifically ended with Aang and Katata. Like... when Korra suggsted jus tthe two of them went away for awhile and them just looking into each others eyes... yeah, it was obvious what they were trying to do. And I was sold.

I love these two together. Even if it started sour int he beginning, the two grew into close friends as things went on. They were supportive, protective, and caring towards one another at their best and worst moments. They’re booth strong young women who play a huge part in the world and can take care of themselves. Korra may be more tomboyish and Asami feminine, but they learn to respect each other and that slowly shifted into friendship, and ended with two former ‘rivals’ (it was pretty one-sided on Korra’s part tbf) over Mako becoming lovers. For what they were able to do, I thinkt hat Bryke did a good job, and I still love these two to this day.

Alright, I have to put a Disney Princess ship in here. But of course which one to pick? There’s Ariel/Eric, Tiana/Naveen, Aladdin/Jasmine, plenty to choose from. Since Mulan is my favorite, you’d think I’d go with her and Shang... but that really doesn't play a huge part in the movie imo. I did some thinking... and I finally made a conclusion.

#4. Rapunzel and Eugene (Tangled franchise)

Words cannot describe how much I love them. I’ll even go ahead and say it, they are THE best developed couple in any Disney film. Why?

In the original film, they play off each other well. Rapunzel is a naive girl who wants to see the lanterns, Flynn is a smug thief who bolsters himself up. Rapunzel is idealistic and positive, Flynn is sarcastic and more grounded to reality. They’re interactions in the beginning, such as Rapunzel freaking out and Flynn just looking stoic throughout is hilarious. But the movie shows has them grow to understand each other and learn form each other. Rapunzel becomes braver and more independent, while Flynn becomes more selfless and honest, even going back to being Eugene. They both are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for each other’s happiness, their love for each other shining brighter than the sun. THat love saves them both, and that alone is just beautifully done int he film.

Then the series happened, and it became better. Eugene is ready to take the next step, but Rapunzel is scared to and then her hair becomes magic again. Eugene? He accept sit. He’s willing to wait for however long it takes because he loves Rapunzel, and he’ll support her through everything. Even in the series, they both go out of their way for each other and try to support each other in any way that they can. There’s the occasional argument/disagreement, as with any couple, but it’s never devolves into sitcom-esque antics where you wonder why the hell they’re still together. At the end of the day, they are there for one another. Int he S2 premiere, Rapunzel goes to Hell and back to save Eugene form a forced marriage while Eugene makes it clear that he loves her and only her. It’s just SO GOOD to see a couple in a modern cartoon that I like together. Now since Happily Ever After exists, we know that they’ll get married eventually, but I can wait for the show to get there. I love seeing them, and God I aspire to have a romance like theirs one day.

#3. Jaune Arc and Pyrrha Nikos (RWBY)

TIME FOR ONE OF THOSE TRAGIC SHIPS AGAIN

God this ship... THIS SHIP. This was probably THE biggest ship (that isn’t Bumblebee) during RWBY’s early days. Jaune is a loser who forged his way into Beacon and feels like a constant failure... and his lack of fighting skill doesn’t help. As such, he ends up attracting the attention of Pyrrha, a well known and tainted fighter who helps him start to grow out of the kindness of her heart. It became clear that Pyrrha was growing feelings for Jaune... but Jaune was oblivious and crushing on another girl. Despite this, Jaune respected and cared for Pyrrha as he started to learn to recognize others feelings and during a school dance, Pyrrha expressed how Jaune not knowing of her fame and talking to her like a normal person is what attracted her to him. He didn’t treat her like a celebrity who was above anyone’s expectations, but just as some other girl, and that was what she wanted more than anything. And it ended with Jaune asking her... and wearing a dress. It makes sense in context.

Their relation was mutually supportive and provided growth for both of them. Jaune grew into not just a better fighter, but a better person as Pyrrha taught him to be more considerate and to recognize others feelings outside his own. Pyrrha had someone who made her feel normal and accepted as she pursued her goals of being a Huntress to help people. Which resulted in V3 when the Maiden offer comes, and for Pyrrha makes her doubtful and scared of her fate. She can’t tell Jaune, but he realizes that something is wrong and he tries to provide comfort, even telling her that she was the first and only person to believe in him, even over his own family. While it sadly ended badly when Pyrrha’s fears make her hurt him on accident and Jaune feeling like he messed up, it still really showed how much their relationship had grown, and after the Battle for Beacon commenced, Jaune comforted Pyrrha and got her back onto her feet.

But of course, as we know, Pyrrha ended up being killed... but not before kissing Jaune before launching him to safety. It left Jaune not only losing his friend and mentor, but realizing what Pyrrha’s true feelings were as well as recognizing his own. As we see, he struggles with this. How his closest friend lost her life and how much pains he was really in, how he now has to pick up the pieces as he gets lead into something much larger than anyone thought, and having to accept that Pyrhha knew fully well that she wasn't coming back. Thankfully, by V6, he came to realize that Pyrrha did what she did because she was a Huntress and regained his will to continue on, thanking her for making him a better person.

Arkos, to this day, makes me cry if I just so much as think about the end of V3. The two’s relationship was super sweet, Jaune’s idiocy throughout aside, and it was just nice to see these two grow from each other. It’s sad that Pyrrha died, but she went out doing what was right, and Jaune came out as a better person who will keep living his life. If he finds love again, I’m okay with that and it’ll show how he’s moving on as Pyrrha would want him to. But no one is ever going to forget Arkos, and for what we had of it, I’ll always cherish it.

#2. Dexter Grif and Richard ‘D*ck’ Simmons (Red vs Blue)

Okay, we all knew that this was going to be on here. It’s the ship I’m currently most focused on, and even the first I think that I gave a shipping tag to. I have talked about them multiple times. IDK if there’s anything new that I can add because I’ve said just about everything. But I guess in the spirit of things, I’ll go over it again.

This ship has broken every issue with shipping I’ve ever had. I normally don’t ship non-canon pairs, but Dear God I love them. I don’t normally seems fandoms use them just to have hot boy/boy stuff and I have NEVER seen any shipping wars concerning it that turned me off. In fact, fandom is what got me into this ship. When I binged it, I just saw them as two guys who love to hate each other... but the fandom did a really good job in convincing me that they were in love. S15 helped with that with how Simmons reacted to Grif quitting, and Grif clearly missing Simmons more than anyone and even leaving him out when he says he hates everyone later. But since until then the writers seemed uninterested in developing Red Team, I had to turn to fanficiton for it. And many gave them so much depth and their relationship as a result felt so much stronger and meaningful to me. This is the very rare time where fandom concerted me.

These guys are assholes. Grif is a lazy jerk, and Simmons is a kissassing rule-follower. Yet they compliment each other perfectly. They argue and bicker frequently, but it feels so natural and it just... works. And overtime, we see their relationship go from just kinda being stuck together to being actual friends. S16 really showed how much healthier and positive it was as the two matured, Simmons becoming more independent and Grif starting to actually try and work through stuff. Their characters got stronger, and as such theyre bond got stronger. Even if that doesn't necessarily have a spotlight put on it, form just their interactions, you can just see it.

I cannot imagine these two without each other, at least for an extended period. They work great as individual characters, but are even better when together. They balance each other. They, in their weird way, support each other. They have been through nearly EVERYTHING in the series together and they’d absolutely do anything to protect each other. They may suck at expressing all of that, but it’s okay. We all know. I love them, and I just hope that RT will allow it to be canon one of these days... I’ll wait~

Honorable Mentions

Sakura Kinomoto/Syaoran Li (Cardcaptor Sakura)

Greg Universe/Rose (Steven Universe)

Ichigo Kurosaki/Orihime Inoue (Bleach)

Arnold Shortman/Helga Pataki (Hey Arnold)

Candace Flynn/Jeremy Johnson (Phineas and Ferb)

Yugi Mutou/Anzu Masaki (Yu-Gi-Oh)

Ash Ketchum/Misty (Pokemon)

Max Goof/Roxanne (A Goofy Movie)

Mickey/Minnie (Disney)

Various other Disney ships

Inuyasha/Kagome Higurashi (Inuyasha)

Jake Long/Rose (American Dragon: Jake Long)

Superman aka Clark Kent/Lois Lane (Superman franchise)

Robin/Starfire (Teen Titans)

April O’Neil/Casey Jones (TMNT 2003)

Chris Kratt/Aviva Corocvado (Wild Kratts)

Sunset Shimmer/Human Twilight Sparkle (Equestria Girls)

Shining Armor/Princess Cadence (MLP:FIM)

And I’m probably forgetting a lot but this post is already super long and I can’t remember everything, so... onto Number One!

Grimmons was VERY close to being Number One since it is my current obsession. But then I remembered one other... and I HAD to make it Number One. It is something that I have followed along since I learned what fandoms were, and whenever I think of true love... this is the couple that appears in my mind. I could not leave it off, or not give it the top spot. So my friends, I present to you my Favorite Ship:

#1. Usagi Tsukino/Sailor Moon and Mamoru Chiba/Tuxedo Mask (Sailor Moon)

Ah, Sailor Moon, my first fandom. My childhood. My love. The series that taught me about love... even when I didn’t care about Usagi and Mamoru’s relaitonship. So it being Number 1 is probably a surprise... but I shall explain.

As a kid... and for the most part as an adult, I am more invested in the girls relationships than about Usagi and Mamoru. It doesn't help that in the 90′s anime, it was the standard ‘these two bicker a lot’ scenario and then it felt more like they only loved each other cause they did in the past. Then R had that stupid break-up plot that I still despise to this very day. Fortunately it was better in the following seasons, S was especially overall super sweet, but... well, it felt forced, stereotypical, and like their love existed because of past memories. Even as a little girl... it just didn’t feel right.

Then I read the manga. And it was SOOOO much better!

While I do still find the romance rushed int he manga, it felt much mroe natural. The two don’t argue like five year olds. They took at least a little time to get to know each other, and uncovered each other’s identities BEFORE the memories came back. As such, when they did regain them after Mamoru got hurt, it felt more like the past just strengthened the love. it showed that it would last throughout the ages. They already recognized their feelings prior, rushed as it was imo, and made it feel more genuine. In the subsequent arcs, they don’t have stupid breakup arcs or a forced love triangle in the final arc. There are issues, very stupid opens (Usagi getting jealous of her future daughter for example), but their love stands strong, they support and protect each other, and they just grow stronger as a result.

This is probably THE most famous anime romance in existence, and it’s not hard to see why. Even if I have issues in how it came to be, their relationship is shown as equal and supportive. It has been something that I’ve followed since I was five years old. Flr what I said about the 90′s anime, I did still like it and I’ve only grown to care about it more over the years... even if I still care more about the Senshi. Still, it’s a classic and to me, is still the one and only Miracle Romance

And that is the list! Trying to go through every fandom I was ever into to remember what I shipped was HAAARD. But I really enjoyed making this list and getting to revisit all of them again. I might do more Top 10′s in the future, so if you guys would like to see me do anything specific, feel free to reply/ask me! Thank you all for reading, and Happy Valentines Day everyone! 💕💕💕

#callie reviews #callie top 10's

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randomactuallywrites-57 · 6 years ago

Text

A Moment

Title: A Moment Author: randomwriter57 Rating: G Word Count: 3,055 Event + Prompt: @sormikweek day one - Joy/Sadness (Rain) Notes: i can't believe it's already sormikweek again! it's been a whole year since i posted my first toz fic. honestly, i can't believe it. anyway, this one came from watching too much Say Yes to the Dress with my mum. enjoy!

Summary: Sorey has been waiting for the right moment. The weather doesn't feel like co-operating with him.

Also on: AO3

Sorey has been thinking about this for a long time.

Maybe it’s only because he’s prone to over-thinking, but he feels as though every detail needs to be perfect. With his friends giving him “advice” on how best to go through with this, too, he keeps coming up with new ways in which this might be entirely messed up. If he could ask Mikleo, this would surely go exactly to plan.

Except that’s the point: he can’t ask Mikleo.

Mikleo is the one he’s proposing to, after all.

Sorey is trying to keep it on the down-low. No big parties, no fireworks, no extravagant professions of love in the form of Asgardian sonnets. It’ll only be him and Mikleo, alone together, and a moment. Hopefully the right moment.

Sorey doesn’t know what he’ll do if it isn’t the right moment.

He and Mikleo have waited long enough, in his opinion, to make things official. In the words of Rose, they’ve practically been married since birth, but it would be nice to be able to tell people they are married. Having a “lover”, he’s found, has connotations of the relationship being a temporary one. With marriage, there’s an assumption that the couple will stay together, through thick and thin, for the rest of their lives.

(Of course, that’s not always how it works. It would be much simpler if his view of marriage was one shared by the world, but the world is complicated. In any case, it’s the sentiment that matters most. Mikleo will appreciate that.)

Besides he’s done his research. In his youth, he read every book in Elysia and coerced every piece of information from the Encyclopaedia of Gramps. Now a young adult, all he wants is to spend the rest of his life at Mikleo’s side, no matter what.

A wedding, rings, vows - once he asks the question, it will be real. Part of him can’t wait, despite himself.

He prepares in advance. He takes Lailah and Rose to help him pick out a ring, the former because she’s known them the longest, and the latter because she has a good eye for quality. After a long day of trawling through every jewellery shop in Ladylake, Sorey is ready to suggest they leave it for the day when he sees it: a beautiful gold band inlaid with sapphires, the gold swirling around the gem to highlight it. The ring is subtle, elegant and refined, perfect for a man who fits the same description.

It rests in a white box at the bottom of his bedside drawer, underneath all the stuff Mikleo has no need to go through, burning a hole in his consciousness.

He’s already decided where he’ll do it, too: near the Mt Mabinogio Ruins in Elysia, where the sky expands endlessly and they both treasure memories of their lives up until now. The excuse will be that they’re visiting Gramps. Since they live in Ladylake now, they don’t see him as often as they once did. Gramps is in on it, and he’s promised not to interfere.

They’ll go out to the cliffside, watching the sun slowly set, and Sorey will turn to Mikleo.

Then he’ll do it.

At that point, all he can hope is that Mikleo wants the same thing he does: a life spent at each other’s sides, with matching titles to prove their love. Of course, he can’t help the shred of doubt in his head, making him wonder if Mikleo would want such commitment in his life.

Well, he’s going to find out eventually. He’s not going to leave it any longer.

Taking a deep breath, Sorey goes to ask Mikleo if he wants to visit Gramps.

Elysia doesn’t change much over the course of a year. Most of the time it’s beautifully sunny, with a calm breeze and a cooler climate than the cities beneath the mountains. They don’t get much snow in winter, and the heat isn’t excessive in summer. It’s a place of moderation and peace. Sorey couldn’t be happier to be back.

Except, when they arrive in Elysia, dark grey clouds fill the summer skies. Mikleo groans, his hands clenching the steering wheel of their shared car.

(Gramps got it for them, before they left for university. Sorey’s surprised it’s even lasted this long. Then again, he can only thank Zaveid for his help repairing it every time it breaks.)

“A summer storm?” Mikleo says. “In Elysia?”

“It’s unexpected, that’s for sure,” Sorey says, his hopes fading.

Mikleo pulls up outside Gramps’ house, and they head inside with their luggage, greeting Gramps at the door.

“I’ll take the luggage through to our room,” Mikleo says, taking their shared suitcase from Sorey and dragging it out of sight.

Gramps turns to Sorey. “When do you plan on asking him?”

Sorey bites his lip. With the weather like this, both he and Gramps know it won’t be any time soon. “When the rain lets up,” he says, though he’s not sure when the rain will even begin to fall.

Mikleo returns before Gramps has the chance to reply.

They enjoy a delicious meal together, catching up on the time that has passed since they last saw each other properly. Despite Sorey’s original plans being delayed, he can’t deny that it’s nice even just seeing and talking to Gramps again. That’s half the reason he’d wanted to do this in Elysia. This town is filled with memories and people they treasure. Getting to see them again is like killing two birds with one stone.

But even later, once they all head to bed, he can’t erase his worries from his mind. He sits on the edge of the bed nearest to the window, gazing out into the dark grey sky as Mikleo changes into his nightclothes behind him. Outside, the trees shake with the wind, bent over with the force of trying to stand against it. They seem a lot more tenacious than he feels, right now.

“Sorey.”

He turns to see Mikleo at the other side of the bed. Mikleo’s gaze does not waver, made harder than usual by concern.

Pulling his lips into a strained smile, Sorey says, “What’s up?”

Mikleo, of course, cannot be fooled by Sorey trying to act natural. “That’s what I should be asking you. There’s been something on your mind since we got here.”

There’s no getting out of this one. Sorey swallows a lump in his throat, then shakes his head. “It’s nothing. I’m just worried about the storm, is all.”

For a moment, Mikleo stands his ground, but he soon softens. His voice gains a teasing tone. “What, are you scared?”

“Huh? No way!” Sorey laughs. “Although, if you want to hold my hand to keep me safe, I wouldn’t say no.”

The Mikleo of a few years ago, back when they were awkward teens with less experience in the romance department, would have blushed and stuttered in a way that Sorey always found hilariously adorable. Nowadays, the gorgeous laugh he gives is far more satisfying.

Instead of holding his hand, Mikleo moves to sit on the bed, cupping his cheek to pull him in for a long, slow kiss. Now when his heart beats faster, it definitely isn’t a bad feeling.

“Seriously though,” Mikleo says when they part. “If there’s something up, you can tell me.”

“I know.” Sorey presses his forehead against Mikleo’s. Somewhere along the line, his hand has become caught in Mikleo’s hair, and he strokes through it, happy to find it loose from its usual high ponytail. “I’m just worried in case something happens, like if someone’s roof caves in, or if there’s a rock slide. It’s nothing.”

Mikleo lets out an exasperated puff of breath. “That won’t happen. Even if it turns out to be a big storm, everyone will be okay.”

As Mikleo pulls him in for another kiss, all Sorey can hope is that he is right.

Unfortunately, as it turns out, that quote about ‘the best laid plans’ turns out to be entirely right. Over the next couple of days, the ring burns a hole in his pocket as the rain continues to fall, grey clouds continuing their descent over the village. In addition, they’re both swept away by so many commitments that Sorey hardly sees Mikleo during those days. The only times they see each other are the evenings, when they sit down for dinner together with Gramps and fall asleep, exhausted, in each other’s arms.

With their visit only being planned as a week-long event, when five days pass with no action on Sorey’s part, he can’t help feeling like he’s running out of time. If he doesn’t find the time to ask Mikleo soon, he’s not sure he’ll ever work up the courage. The one thing he doesn’t want is for him to let this opportunity slip out of his grasp.

Perhaps that’s why he can’t sleep on the fifth evening. After tossing and turning for a while, he heads out into the night, alone. A cold wind bites at his skin, but it’s refreshing after the heat of his stressful thoughts. Besides, there’s no point in going back to get a jacket; the skies, though they still hold dark clouds, don’t look ready to rain down upon him just yet. If he can have a few minutes just to think this through and to make a new plan, maybe tomorrow he’ll have the courage to take Mikleo to one side and finally make his move.

The cliffside near the ruins is silent when he gets there. Not a soul is in sight, which allows him to relax for a while. Though he can’t see the vast expanse of stars, it feels nostalgic to come back here, knowing how many times he stood here with Mikleo throughout their childhood and adolescence.

A smile forms without thought on his lips at the memory of those times. He remembers lying with Mikleo on this cliff, cloud-gazing and dreaming of the huge world which lay outside their home village. Once, when they were twelve, they spent a night here with their favourite book, debating about the ruins nearby until their eyes couldn’t stay open any longer.

When they were fifteen, they’d shared their first kiss here, at the break of dawn. Mikleo had woken up earlier than usual, and Sorey also woke up, hearing him leave. He followed him here and joined him, and their tiredness made their emotions flow easily, breaking through the barriers of worry they’d unknowingly built.

Sorey lets out a long breath, closing his eyes as the wind envelops him, comforting him. It reminds him that everything will be alright, in the end. All he has to do is find that courage that brought him together with Mikleo in the first place and use it to take their relationship forward.

“You’re up late.”

The sudden sound of Mikleo’s voice surprises him. He turns around sharply, noticing his boyfriend standing a few feet away, his long hair tied back in a loose ponytail. Though he’s wearing his pyjamas, the jacket he wears over the top of them is far more sensible than the one Sorey left back at the house before heading out. Judging by the goose bumps forming on his arms, maybe he should have brought it after all.

“Mikleo,” he says. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“When you sleep next to someone for as long as we have, you tend to notice when the other person disappears,” Mikleo says with a shrug. “What’s wrong?”

Mikleo has always been far too perceptive of Sorey’s emotions. Though it’s part of what has made their relationship work for so long, he can’t help but feel a little silly that this situation has occurred.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he says. It’s not technically a lie, so it rolls off his tongue easily. “I thought the fresh air might help.”

“If all you needed was fresh air, you didn’t need to come all the way out here,” Mikleo points out.

“But you knew I’d be here,” Sorey says.

For a moment, Mikleo pauses. Letting his eyes fall, he says, “I just had a feeling, that’s all.”

With a rush of affection for his partner, Sorey heads over to stand by Mikleo, letting his hands fall on his waist. He touches their foreheads together, and their noses brush, cool against each other’s skin. “Don’t worry, I’ll be able to sleep better now.”

Mikleo smirks. “You might, yeah. But if you start grinding your teeth, you’ll be giving me a hard time.”

“Hey! There are plenty of better ways to give you a hard time.”

“Like what?”

A moment after asking the question, Mikleo seems to realise that it was the wrong one to ask, but it’s too late. Sorey grins impishly, and before Mikleo can push him away, he digs his fingers into Mikleo’s ribs, tickling the sensitive skin beneath his clothes. Mikleo squirms, trying to fight back, his own hands darting out to prod at Sorey’s abdomen. Even in tickle fights, they’re evenly matched, and Mikleo manages to get a few good attacks in there. Before Sorey realises it, he’s lost the upper hand, and he surrenders his laughter to Mikleo’s touch.

Suddenly, Mikleo stops, hovering by Sorey’s hips. “What’s this?” he asks breathlessly.

His hand hovers over Sorey’s pocket, where a box presses against the fabric, poking out in a completely unsubtle fashion.

“Er,” Sorey says succinctly. “It’s nothing.”

Mikleo looks up at him with a raised eyebrow. “If it’s nothing, you won’t mind telling me what it is. Right?”

Sorey averts his gaze, his teeth grazing his lip. “Okay, it’s something, but I don’t know if now is the time…”

“Sorey,” Mikleo says, grabbing his attention with a harsh tone. “If it’s important, just tell me. We don’t hide things from each other, do we?”

Those words scratch an old wound in Sorey’s heart, and he remembers the last time Mikleo said them to him. Back then, he’d promised himself he wouldn’t make Mikleo say them again.

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll tell you.”

He stands back, putting about a foot of distance between them.

“I meant to tell you this sooner, but the weather had other plans,” he says, fumbling in his pocket for the box. “Don’t freak out.”

Mikleo doesn’t answer, though the way his mouth stays open, ready to say something but never voicing his thoughts, tells him all he needs to know about Mikleo’s expectations for this.

But this is it. Now is the time.

They’re near the ruins but the sky is cloudy. The stars are hidden but they are alone. This moment exists for them.

It’s not perfect, but in a way, it is.

Grasping the box, Sorey lowers himself onto one knee.

“Being with you is pretty neat,” he says, pulling the box out of his pocket. “I want to stay with you for good. And this is probably the best way of doing that.”

It takes a moment of fumbling, but he gets the box open. When he holds it out, green eyes meet violet.

“Will you marry me?”

The moment those words come out of his mouth, a shower of rain comes from nowhere. Immediately they are both soaked, and Sorey hurries to close the ring box before it gets damaged-

Except a pair of cool, pale hands stop him, holding it open.

He looks up to find Mikleo right in front of him, eyes soft with emotion. There’s water in his eyes, and Sorey knows it’s not from the rain.

“Yes,” Mikleo says with a laugh. “Of course I’ll marry you, you dummy.”

Sorey feels weightless.

“Really?” he says in breathless disbelief.

Mikleo rolls his eyes and grabs his face, pressing a rain-soaked kiss to his lips. The brief taste is addicting, and Sorey tries to chase after him, craving his warmth. Mikleo pulls away before he can return the kiss. “I could hardly give you any other answer. Being with you is pretty neat, after all.”

The re-iteration of Sorey’s sloppy proposal makes him laugh, and Mikleo’s laughter joins his, their joy floating into the sky.

Their lips come together once more, the contact heating them up as the cool rain continues to crash around them, a symphony of nature coming to crown this joyous moment. In a way it feels fitting that it’s happened like this - Mikleo’s always been partial to rain, after all.

“I love you,” Sorey says when their lips part.

Mikleo’s grin, paired with the shining wonder in his eyes, is a beautiful sight to behold. “I love you too.”

It takes a few minutes for Sorey to remember the ring, and though the rain makes it troublesome to handle, he slides it onto Mikleo’s right ring finger, a perfect fit. At this moment, it feels all the more real. His heart swells with emotion, and he feels heat prickling at the corners of his eyes.

Similarly, Mikleo looks at the ring with a swirl of happiness and disbelief in his eyes, a tear falling down his cheek. When Sorey kisses the ring on Mikleo’s finger, he covers his mouth with his free hand whilst the other shakes in Sorey’s grasp.

“I’m so glad you asked,” he says when he gets his breath back, making Sorey meet his gaze once more. “I’ve thought about it a few times, but I could never work up the courage.”

Sorey’s heart melts. “You thought about proposing to me? You know I’d have said yes, right?”

Mikleo puts a hand into his hair, ruffling it affectionately. “I do now, obviously. But you must know how it feels.”

“Yeah, I put it off for a while. But it’s worth it.” Sorey stands back up, pulling Mikleo close. His left hand still holds Mikleo’s right one, his thumb grazing over the gold band. “Now I get to see you happy, with this ring on your finger, and to know we’ll be together from now on, too.”

With a happy hum, Mikleo surges forward to capture his lips again. With the two standing, drenched to the bone but more buoyant than a ship on open waters, Sorey can only smile.

There couldn’t have been a better, more fitting moment than this.

#sormikweek2018 #tales of zestiria #toz #sormik #tales of zestiria fanfiction #ahhukighdjkdfn!!!!#it's finally sormikweek again!!!#i've been kind of afk since my last fic in may oops sorry #but i'll be posting every day this week because of course i am #i hope you guys like these fics omg

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