#one piece fathers are the worst

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

Overindulgent father Astarion who tells his children they’re allergic to any kind of jewellery that isn’t made of the highest grade Dwarven crafted gold. 

It’s not even because Astarion might have a certain aversion to silver, no, he just raises his children to have standards, thank you very much. 

And it doesn’t end with shiny things, oh no… 

The Ancunín brood is known to be dressed in perfectly woven cotton, silk and soft leather clothes, no matter the occasion.

They’re seen playing with expensive toys, reading artfully illustrated books that certainly belong behind thick glass, not in children’s sticky hands. 

There’s even talk that one of the children is not as naturally inclined to music as his parents claim him to be, surely his lyre must be enchanted—the instrument certainly looks extravagant enough! 

And then there’s always this air of effortless haughtiness surrounding the Ancunín children whenever their nannies and servants are parading them through town as if they were perfect little dolls; objects to show off the wealth their parents acquired in quite the mysterious ways. 

So, it’s no secret that Astarion and Tav are pampering their children—some might say they’re even spoiling them rotten. 

And maybe they are, especially Astarion.

But he doesn’t see why he should raise them any other way, nor does he want to.  

When it comes to his children, Astarion has his own standards, and as long as Tav agrees with him nothing really matters. 

Because, these people, they don’t know anything about the Ancuníns. 

They don’t know that it’s not unusual for Astarion to wash out dirt and mud and strawberry stains from comically small finery, leaving behind only the memories of a day spent playing in the garden, chasing after ducks, picking flowers, lazing in the sun…

That any holes and tears the children’s clothes might suffer are quickly mended, making them look as good as new in no time. 

Nor do they know that Astarion doesn’t mind fashioning a brand new dress to match that of a favourite doll, either. Or to embroider a pretty vest with the likeness of that stray cat the children seem to adore, although their father would rather they don’t touch the mangy animal. 

No, those people know nothing at all...

“Not tired!” Astarion’s youngest cries; the vehement denial of her father’s earlier accusation is cut short by a telltale yawn.

The room still smells of fragrant lavender oil and peaches even when the bath water has already grown tepid, just one or two degrees above what Astarion would consider too cold to be enjoyable. 

Amused, he raises an eyebrow at the protesting toddler before he lifts her out of the copper bathtub with little effort. 

By now, he knows every step of this game.

“Tut-tut, my dear child, what did mama and I say?” Astarion kneels, quickly wrapping a soft towel around the child to keep her warm. “We only tell lies outside of this house.”

Unfazed by her father’s gentle scolding, the girl crosses her arms that haven’t yet lost their puppy fat across her chest, reminding Astarion a little too much of a very displeased Tav. 

Suppressing a sigh, he leans back to consider the pouting child, wondering what could possibly be upsetting her this time—the list is growing longer by the day, after all. 

“What’s the matter, dear?” Astarion asks gently, hoping it’s something easily fixable as it’s growing rather late. 

“Want apple!”

Decades ago, Astarion might’ve rolled his eyes—he knows exactly which stupid apple the child wants, it’s been haunting him all day—but once he started to treat his children’s problems as if they were his own, his life has grown somewhat easier. 

“Why, let’s get an apple on our way to bed, then. Would that be alright, Your Highness?” 

The girl promptly nods her head, allowing Astarion to pat her hair dry before dressing her in a clean night dress. 

She rests her cheek against her father’s shoulder as he carries her first to the kitchen to grab a fragrant apple and a knife, then to her bedroom where they settle on the cosy window seat, just like they do every night.

Soft moonlight is pouring through the windows; the child giggles at the way the knife’s blade is catching the silver light as Astarion peels and cuts the apple into even pieces.

“Here you go,” he finally says, giving the slice of apple one last examining look before surrendering it to the impatient little hands reaching for it. “A sweet treat for my little sweet. Doesn’t it taste so much better when we don’t eat it off the floor, darling?” And when it’s not crawling with ants…

The appeased toddler nibbles at the juicy fruit as Astarion carefully combs through her still-damp curls. 

Her hair’s getting long, he notices, knowing that taking care of it will become more time-consuming each day. 

Once, Astarion would’ve thought this task tedious, brushing out hair that’s not his own, oiling and braiding it for no other reason than knowing his children enjoy him doing it. 

But that’s why he loves doing it in the first place, he supposes.

Astarion can tell by his toddler’s heartbeat that sleep is about to claim her. 

The half-eaten slice of apple is still clutched in her little fist as he cradles the child to his chest, slowly rising from the window seat to put her to bed. 

He’s just about to lay the child down that the fruit drops to the floor, his daughter’s tiny hand clutching at his shirt instead.

“Thank you, papa,” she mumbles, more asleep than awake.

Astarion pauses.

He breathes in the clean, yet unique scent of the little girl that is forever engraved in his brain, the same way he knows under which exact constellation she was born. When she took her first steps, what her first word was. Soon, he will have to memorise her favourite colour, and what she likes to eat when dirty apples won’t be that appealing anymore. 

By now, Astarion knows this game by heart, knows that with every year that passes, he has something new to learn about his children.

And sometimes he wonders what it’s like to grow up with clean bed sheets and full bellies. Sleep filled with naught but warmth and happy memories. Ever open doors and tears that are dried by tender kisses. Living in a house where mistakes and anger are welcomed, safe. 

He wonders what it’s like for his children to know that their father’s love comes without conditions. Not now and not ever. 

Sitting down on the bed, Astarion holds his youngest a little closer to his chest, unwilling to let go of her, yet. 

He’s often accused of spoiling his children when most people can only just grasp the very surface of his love for them, the bare minimum of what he feels for his one and only, precious family. 

These baseless accusations are as unimportant to Astarion as the people voicing them.

He’s raising his children to have standards, wants them to take their father’s love for granted, to accept nothing less but pure devotion.

It’s the only way Astarion knows how to love them, the only way that comes most naturally to him. 

Astarion looks down at his little girl, now fast asleep, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. 

After all these years—all these children—he’s still in awe watching them sleep in his arms as if no harm in the world could ever befall them.

And it won’t—not if Astarion can help it. 

“No, thank you, my heart,” he whispers, pressing a kiss against the crown of the toddler’s head. 

When it comes to his children, Astarion holds himself to the highest standard.

[mooneln0ne]

Happy mothers day

[kacievvbbbb]

Look I like Roger enough, I understand what he represents and I generally don’t think he was a bad dude. I do however think he was shit at interpersonal relationships because, what the fuck. Whitebeards crew is infinitely more well adjusted and I’d say he arguably had the more traumatic death.

Like what even, what kind of planning leads a 53 year old man to sire a child knowing he is dying of an incurable illness and is about to turn himself in to be excuted by the marines where he will cause so much chaos it is literally still turning the world on its head 22 years later. He knew he was going to cause so much of a stir that he literally disbanded his crew and told them to spread far and wide to keep them safe. Because he knew the marines would hunt them far and wide But yet he still brought a baby into the world. Babe. What the fuck? What even is that? What was the thought process. I sincerely hope it was an accident and not a deliberate attempt to bring about a new era.

Because if so babe I need to see the recipe or I’m afraid we can never let you cook again

[frankencanon]

We've moved on from Wano but I still frequently see people disagreeing over what pronouns to use for Yamato, and so I thought I'd throw in my two cents since it is my belief that the answer is a lot more simple than people make it out to be...

When deciding how to refer to Yamato, most people ask: "What is Yamato's gender?" "Does Yamato identify as male or female?" Etc.

I'm here to tell you that none of that matters.

I repeat, Yamato's gender identity is irrelevant.

Here's what does matter:

Yamato openly and consistently refers to himself as the son of Kaido, and those that are familiar with him (such as Kaido, Luffy, and the Beast Pirates) obide by his wishes by doing the same.

What more do you need to know?

It doesn't matter what Yamato's gender is; What does matter is that Yamato wants to be referred to as a man, as male, as a son.

Even our beloved Captain—the future Pirate King, Monkey D. Luffy himself—treats Yamato the way that he wants to be treated, giving him the masculine nickname "Yama-o" (Yama-guy).

ヤマ男

YA-MA-O

Compare with Tora-o and Giza-o, Luffy's canon nicknames for Law and Kid respectively, where the "o" suffix is written using the Japanese kanji for "male" (as shown above).

So what does it matter what Yamato's gender is, when you could instead ask: "What does Yamato prefer to be called?" & "How does Yamato prefer to be treated?"

In which case, the answer is obvious...

[worst-fictional-father-showdown]

[owlbelly]

read recently that the "killer trees" episode of The X Files (with baby Katherine Isabelle!) was considered by at least one critic to be the worst of the entire series

which is an astonishing judgment to make when the very next episode is the one where Scully goes to Maine on vacation & encounters a killer doll named "Fuck" who came out of a lobster trap

[king0fcrows]

Screaming over all the challenges to the narrative in the newest IWTV episode

I love that Lestat walks onto the stage with the intent to remain stone cold as he condemns Louis and Claudia--and instead leaves psychologically wrecked and guilty (he's literally swaying back and forth in the background as Louis and Claudia are sentenced)

Love that Louis' memory is reinforced as less and less reliable with every episode (that shot of him dragging pre-transformed Claudia's body like a rag doll, like a toy? goddamn.)

Love that Daniel is trying to call Armand (my poor wet meow meow, who has never done anything wrong in his life) on his lying bullshit in front of Louis

[butnotbubblegum]

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.

[ladeaeveld]

bonney is so precious.. 🤲

[alexjcrowley]

Aristophanes is my hater goal

[onepiece-polls]

Follow for more One Piece Polls! ❤

[whatdourelfeyessee]

JASON SUDEIKIS WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK ABOUT THE EMOTIOMS YOU ARE MAKNG ME EMOTE

[mooneln0ne]

Don't I deserve to live too?

[kacievvbbbb]

We should get to see Shanks and Rayleigh be slightly awkward family.

Mostly because I think they have a natural rhythm they’d fall into, they love each other after all theres alway been an easy camaraderie between them Shanks has always been the best parts of him and Roger and it’s hard not to be easy around him. but he’s also got their worst parts so it’d be one of those things where the lightness can never last and they get quiet with the weight of all the unsaid hurt between them. Because their captain was sick and then he died and then Ray abandoned him. And shanks still has so many suppressed issues about that.

Also I think their the type of people to do that cute knocking heads together thing and id pay good money way to see that.

[tournamentdirectory]

One Piece has many terrible fathers. @worstonepiecedadtournament finds the most loathsome.

[worst-fictional-father-showdown]