#one or both of them are regularly his dates to events depending on his partnered status and who's with noah that night

[tunemyart]

I mean, I know that the reason Trevor Langan keeps popping up on SVU after all this time is bc the actor is married to Mariska Hargitay, and anytime they're each other's "dates" to a thing it's just meta but... imagine. if all of this is all just setting up surprise!Olivia Benson/Trevor Langan endgame.

[once-was-muses]

How open are the muses to smut without a preexisting romance?

Antonio da Vinci: manwhore supreme, ready to go 80% of the time. And 15 of that missing 20%? He'll agree anyways. Especially if booze is or already was involved. Hello, unhealthy coping mechanisms.

The Artist: Carmina is a complicated case. Overall, her answer is not even remotely- unless they were friends first. She has to have some level of trust with another before even considering sex.

The Blight: unsurprisingly, the Fog's biggest recluse is not down for casual sex. Barely even has interest in sex to begin with- partly because he's so absorbed by his work and the thralls of the serum, but also because he refuses to realize that he's attracted to men rather than women.

Bookworm: he'll need some flattery and flirting first, but Winnie is relatively open to hookups. He's hired more than a couple prostitutes before- The only difference is a financial transaction. Maybe.

Candyman: highly unlikely. Daniel is an extremely romantic individual; there will be wooing and all that beforehand (and during if he has it his way.)

Claudette Morel: she's much too shy to pursue anything like that- any girl that's interested would have to approach her first, and even then there's no guarantee Claudette won't panic and bail.

The Doctor: manwhore supreme, spooky edition. Sex is one of his biggest vices, one which he is all too willing to indulge in with almost anyone.

The Dredge: depends on what it has to gain from the exchange. Not a hard no, but it will not be a healthy experience for either of them.

Goswin: very shy about the whole intimacy thing. Like Dan, xe thinks it would be demeaning for both involved to skip straight to knocking boots, more inclined to take things slow with proper courting.

Habeas Corpus: it has absolutely zero qualms about anonymous or casual hook ups, sex being one of their biggest and most common vices.

The Ichor: despite the ego Athanasios puts forth, they will be extremely suspect of any actual desire being present if proposition. They'll likely consent anyways, but be second guessing the genuineness of the whole thing the entire time.

March Harriet: she'd be flattered, really, but would probably decline (with some flustered stittering and plenty of blushing.) Harrie's a hopeless romantic through and through- she'd much rather try a date or two first, see where things go.

Rorschach: you're kidding, right? He's listed as "demi-homosexual" for a reason. It would take many, many years of trust before one could even begin trying to convince him to take his pants off without losing blood.

Saint Walker: bashful and shy about the topic by nature, but exceedingly sex positive. Casual hookups were far from taboo on Astonia. Whoever's interested will have to broach the topic first, though.

Salaak: also a big ol virgin, but way more uptight- and coming from a background where sex=marriage, thus there being a lot of anxiety for him. It would take A While before Sal would be open to sex with an established partner, so he's extremely unlikely to respond well to any advances from someone he's not involved with.

Scarecrow: he borders on demiromantic, needing a significant amount of trust before romance is an option, but he's not a stranger to picking someone up when the need strikes him. Granted he's not especially likely to have sex with someone in general because of his repression, prone to bottling any urges up for as long as he can when there's not someone to semi-regularly coax him into letting go.

The Spirit: Rin is Extremely Asexual- sex neutral, but still ace. The only appeal sex has to her is intimacy, and she only desires that from a romantic partner.

Thoth: surprisingly picky and flighty despite his reputation, very much reliant on his mood and the events leading up to any proposition. He's also unlikely to bring it up himself unless he's particularly frustrated. Just be warned; while he doesn't have godlike strength, he does have a ridiculously high libido.

The Wraith: once upon a time, Philip was a little looser with his life, more exploratory and outgoing. Now, he's extremely guarded and suspicious of others, unwilling to let anyone get too close- but, he still has needs in this nonhuman form, and has given into desperation on a rare few occasions. It's certainly improbable, but not impossible.

[bruh-changbin]

hi idk if your matches r open but i'll send this anyways. if they aren't you can just ignore this haha.

if possible, i'd like to be matched with Seventeen and Ateez

so my mbti is INTP but i'm an ambivert. I sometimes forget how to smile or be happy but I'm trying. I have some mental conditions that make me unlikeable sometimes, Mild Autism, Depression, Anxiety and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I've never had a long term partner because most of them couldnt stand the fact that I regularly relapsed.

I like being around people who make me laugh because they help me to forget the pain I'm in. My happiness is dependent on the people around me being happy.

in terms of hobbies, I'm an artsy person. I like painting and writing. My favourite artists EVER are Monet and Van Gogh. I love cats and dogs, and I dream of owning a ragdoll cat and a Doberman one day.

My type of men are golden retriever/cat type of men. Men who can love me unconditionally and won't get annoyed at me being someone with depression.

If you do decide to match me with someone from Seventeen and Ateez, thank you so so much ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Hope you have a great day!

heyyyy bae (let’s pretend I’m not getting to this like a month after you’ve sent it 😻) so technically my matchmaker requests were only open for a few days when I was doing my 3k follower event, so they’re not something that I typically do (tbh I’m kinda surprised you were able to find them bc it was awhile ago lol) BUTTTT since you took the time to give me all of this info about yourself I’ll do yours anyway 😽

for seventeen I’m going to match you with josh! he strikes me as someone who’s attentive and very caring for people who are important to them. for that reasons I think josh would work well with how you described yourself and how you can hole up sometimes - josh would def be able to quickly take note of how you’re feeling and do everything in his power to make sure you’re comfortable. that being said, he also has a super fun and lively side that would definitely put a smile on your face and have you feeling comfortable in his presence. shua doesn’t really strike me as a golden retriever person most of the time but I can 100% see him as a cat type of person, and I think the two of you would make super cute pet parents 😻

im going to match you with yunho from seventeen for many of the same reasons as I listed for joshua! yunho is one of the idols who I can see as being both outgoing and reserved, it just depends on the scenario, how they’re feeling, etc. so I think yunho would be very receptive to how you’re feeling in any given moment and would be able to adapt quickly. he seems like someone who’s happy if his partner is happy, so his main priority would be putting you in a good mood. also art gallery date with yunho hello? I feel like he’d spend a bit looking at the many different art pieces in the gallery but would soon realize that he enjoys studying your faceas you take in the art much more.

[adorerdraco]

It’s Only Quidditch ✧ Draco x Slytherin!Reader

Request: can i please request you and draco being in slytherin and dating for a while and you two are on the quidditch team with him so maybe you two are in a match together but you get hurt and he gets worried and has to win the game and visits you after and maybe even wrecks the person who hurt you hehe just fluff and angst

AU AROUND 6TH YEAR NO VOLDY

Warnings: angry!draco, vengeful!draco, VIOLENCE, kinda graphic details like blood and injuries, lil bit of angst

Words: 3.9K (love making these long for no reason)

A/N: ANGRY DRACO IS SO HOT IM SORRY WOW BUT I HOPE THIS IS GOOOOD PLEASE ENJOY MY MADE UP CHARACTER AND MY SUPER LONG QUIDDITCH GAME THAT CONFUSED ME AFTER A WHILE OF TRYING TO WRITE LMAO and i made gif :)

November had begun and with it came the new season of quidditch at Hogwarts along with very poor weather and over-bundling nerves. Tensions had always gotten high around this time of the year amongst the teams and all animosity between the house’s respective players was on the forefront as the competition was building. It was like clockwork every year; captain’s starting strenuous training schedules, begging Snape to help book the stadium even if it was already occupied, spying on other teams to figure out their strengths and weaknesses. Not to mention the arguments that would happen regularly in between the first couple of games when you and your teammates would be accused of cheating or using dangerous and illegal moves. Which did happen to be true most of the time.

It was safe to say that it was the most eventful time of the year, and as suffocating as it sometimes got - you looked forward to it every time the new term started. It was in quidditch that you found yourself feeling the freest in, zipping around the stadium in a flash of green with the wind blowing through your hair and crisp autumn air biting at your cheeks. But most notably, it was in quidditch that you met Draco Malfoy and had quickly evolved from teammates to friends, to him now being your boyfriend.

You made Slytherin’s team your second year as a Chaser, a shiny new broom being given to you on the first day of scheduled training when Lucius Malfoy had made a generous donation that came along with a new platinum blond seeker. With the two of you being the latest additions to the teams, your captain, Marcus Flint, had decided to leave the dirty work for the two of you to do in the downtime every one else was able to enjoy. Marcus never changed that as the years went on.

So you and Draco would be sent off to other teams’ practices nearly every other day or week, depending on how secure Flint was feeling, both of you huddling closely together for sometimes hours behind the thick wooden benches as you watched and studied tactics with conversations in between. You would joke around a lot and call him your partner in crime which he would always roll his eyes to and make a snide and playful comment about even if he secretly loved hearing it. And the two of you stayed partners in crime for a while, neither of you ever making any move towards the other besides lingering touches and longing looks, and very rarely, a shy compliment.

It wasn’t until last year when you were hiding behind the bleachers, bored out of your mind watching Ravenclaw have a flawless run through around the stadium when you were graced with the dumbest idea.

“They’re playing good today,” you drawled out, “too good that it’s boring.”

“You reckon they studied so hard and found the key to quidditch?” He snickered as he played around with a pebble on the ground with his wand.

“We should help them out,” you suggested as Draco turned to raise a puzzled eyebrow at you. “Prepare them for the unexpected, nothing too crazy.”

You took out your wand from your pocket and pointed it towards one of their Beaters that was sitting idly by on their broom, a faint “confundus” leaving your lips that caused the broom to jerk swiftly to the side and nearly topple over its rider.

“You’re a genius,” Draco laughed quietly, repositioning himself so that he was right beside you with his wand directed out into the field. He spotted one of the bludgers flying towards the same Beater and instead of colliding with the bat, he used a charm to direct it into the back of their broom and then doubled it back around to try and hit one of the passing by Chaser’s that moved at the very last minute. 

You were a giggling mess, gripping tightly onto Draco’s arm as you watched everyone begin to look around wildly for the wild bludger with panicked expressions. What either of you didn’t realize in the middle of your joyed hysterics and Draco’s smugness for causing the angelic sounds, was that the bludger was flying idly still in front of the bleacher’s as his wand was still trained on it without moving it around anymore, his focus completely gone and concentrated on you.

It wasn’t until you heard someone yell out a, “Is that Malfoy and Y/L/N back there again?!” That made you get up with a sudden jolt, grabbing onto your accomplice’s hand as you ran towards the set of stairs that descended out of the stands. All you heard was distant angry insults and threats quickly fading out of ear-shot while you ran, laughing uncontrollably alongside Draco with his hand still tightly gripped in yours. 

When you finally reached the entrance of the empty courtyard of the castle with flustered cheeks and wheezing chuckles, you looked down at your joined hands at the same time he did and after a few seconds of realization and lingering adrenaline, you quickly moved into each other with a yearning kiss that changed everything from that day forward.

Draco stood beside you while you sat on a bench outside the locker room, your head resting lazily on the side of his leg while his fingers carded soothingly through your hair. Marcus was pacing in front of you, using his broom as a walking and pointing stick whenever he wanted to add any calculated words to his very hostile pep-talks that left everyone feeling more irritated and stressed.

Today was the last game of the season and the most important, it was the game that ended the season with a shimmering Inter-House Quidditch Cup and it just so happened to be against Gryffindor, making the stakes much higher than they already were. The matches against Gryffindor were by far, the most dangerous as they weren't afraid to play roughly either if push came to shove. The determination to beat each other and to win was critical on both sides and the day always ended with some sort of injuries.

“I don’t care how dirty we have to play today,” Flint fumed to the team, “I don’t care how many fouls we get, as long as we win.”

“Relax, Flint,” you sighed deeply. “We have the best players on our team and we’ve been working our arses off all season, we’ll be fine.”

“Still, I want to see blood out there,” he muttered back, walking towards the entrance of the field as Madam Hooch started calling your team out to start.

You stood up with a huff, Draco frowning when he noticed how tense you looked when your eyes worriedly met his.

“All right, love?”

“I'm just nervous,” you shrug, “I don’t want to mess up.”

The silver-haired boy moved to stand in front of you, placing two strong hands on either side of your arms to stand you in place so that he would be the only thing your wandering eyes were able to focus on.

“You are the best Chaser that Slytherin has ever had, no, that Hogwarts has ever had and I know for a fact you’re going to do amazing out there,” he cups your face with care, brushing a few stray hairs out of your face as he spoke. “You’ve got this.”

He pressed an encouraging kiss onto your forehead and then your lips, smiling at you supportively before taking your hand and hurriedly walking the two of you out into the field where the match was about to start.

Almost the whole school had shown up in an overcrowded sea of red and gold for Gryffindor. There were red sparks and small fireworks of lions that were charmed to roar when the animal would open its mouth. On one end of the stands, however, was the entire student body of Slytherin that was throwing green and silver ribbons and sparklers from their wands, yelling loudly in support as if their life depended on it. Over the rails, they had thrown down a large poster of a snake that moved around sleekly over large green words that read, “SLYTHERIN FOR THE WIN.”

Rain was lightly drizzling from the grayed dense clouds above, a sharp chill in the air from an approaching winter that always seemed to give the worst weather during the last couple of games of the year. You didn’t mind it since the cold had always felt nice against your sweaty skin during the game and it served like a small revitalizing shock that gave you a surge of energy to push forward with. 

Madam Hooch quickly went over the rules, set free the bludgers, and the snitch, forced the two captains, Wood and Flint, to shake hands and by the time she had counted down from three to one - brooms were soared into the sky with such speed it looked like a tornado had formed as she threw the quaffle up into the air.

A roar of cheers erupted from beside you as you got ahold of the quaffle, dashing past your House while you headed straight towards the Gryffindor’s goal post and managed to make the first shot in within the first five minutes of the game putting you at 10-0. You spotted Draco flying around above, smiling down brightly at you with triumph that only fueled your confidence as you darted forward to catch the ball again. You were, just as Draco had said, the best Chaser on the team and in all of the school. You were fast, agile, and smart when it came down to it and you were the reason why your team had easily wracked up 40 points with thirty minutes down in the match. Marcus was always trailing behind you with focus, shoving anyone who tried to get to you or pulling them back by their robes that landed Slytherin a couple of fouls throughout. 

You didn’t like to play dirty, but when Katie Bell had rammed into your side either accidentally or on purpose, it knocked the quaffle out of your hands and into one of their other Chaser’s, Rowan Rees, a muscular and tall seventh-year boy that had made the team that same year. With Katie still closely trying to cut you off, you veered sharply into her with your shoulder before breaking away from her and heading towards your goal post where they were trying to shoot. 

“ILLEGAL PUSHING FROM Y/L/N, FOUL AGAINST SLYTHERIN!” 

You rolled your eyes at the announcer, completely ignoring the boo’s that had filled the air as you whizzed past the other houses even though it was you who got hit first. Just as Rees had raised his arm to score, you flew over him, swooping your arm underneath your broom until you felt the quaffle back in your palm and ripped it from his grasp. The match was becoming more intense by the second, Gryffindor was promptly catching up in points because of the penalties they were awarded from the illegal moves your team was making and it left you feeling more pressured that it was nearly a tie now, Flint reminded you of that every chance he zoomed past you.

Unbeknownst to you, Draco was watching you cautiously from across the field most of the game when he noticed how close everyone was trying to get to you. You didn’t see the way you were almost tugged back multiple times or were missed by inches when someone was about to push you. Or how the Beaters were deliberately directing the bludgers in your direction. You also didn’t see how irked you had made Rees with your constant scoring and with the sporadic few times you had cut him off or almost bumped into him - but your boyfriend did, and he was much more focused on your safety now than the Golden Snitch he or Potter hasn’t spotted yet. Instead of searching for it, he was purposefully maneuvering himself around in front of the other Chasers to throw them off their focal point towards you so that you would have a clearer path to fly through.

He watched as you pulled your broom upwards to try and twist away from the area but Rees had reached out and pulled at your ankle, sending you out of your seat as the quaffle fell while you tried to rebalance yourself. That was all the encouragement the blond needed when he hurtled down into the mess, kicking at the back of Rees’ broom and sending him quickly spinning on a dive before he could try and move any further. 

“FOUL AGAINST REES AND MALFOY FOR KICKING AND TUGGING!”

“MALFOY!” Flint roared as he flew past, “Potter’s spotted the snitch! This isn’t your place, get out of here, NOW!”

And when he looked up, sure enough, Harry was going around desperately with an arm outstretched towards the small glint of gold that was moving too fast. 

“Go, I’m fine!” You shouted out to him when you flew back up with the ball back in your arms.

It was like slow motion when he forced himself to leave your surroundings, everything around him was moving fast and intensely with everyone screaming wildly that he couldn’t think straight. In a daze, he haphazardly sped towards Harry but noticed the panicked look on the seeker’s face when he had lost sight of it again which directed his attention right back to you. You were right in front of the Gryffindor goal post, arm stretched over your head and releasing the quaffle with a harsh throw.

“Y/L/N MAKES THE GOAL, TEAMS ARE AT A TIE-”

It wasn’t until the very last minute that everyone, including you, had realized the flash of red that came hurtling into your side at full speed, Rees colliding so loudly with you that it echoed around the stadium in a powerful clang and crack.

Draco watched in horror as you were thrown off your broom, your now unconscious body falling like a rag doll with a speed that sent his stress levels into overdrive. He had never pushed down on his broom so fast, immediately abandoning his spot to bolt towards you even as Marcus was screaming at him to not go. 

A few feet above the ground and before you met it, he managed to loop his arm around your waist and heave you onto the front of his broom with a slight struggle as it was now raining hard and clouding his vision. He saw Madam Pomfrey and Mcgonagall rushing into the field, hands holding tightly onto their hats as they worriedly rushed towards the area where your broom had fallen and where Draco was hovering over with you. 

“TEAMS ARE TAKING A 10 MINUTE TIME OUT!”

Marcus had flown down towards him, face twisted in fury and annoyance as he approached. 

“Is there a reason you’re not being a seeker, today?” He spits, “because I’ve been seeing you do everything but your job.”

“My bloody girlfriend just got knocked out!” Draco seethed at him. “I’m not going back into the game, I’m going with her to the hospital wing.”

“Like hell you are,” Flint scowled, “if you leave, you'll forfeit us the game. If you stay and let Potter catch that Snitch so it’ll be over quicker, I will personally make sure that this is your last year on the team. You’re going to win this for us.”

“Mr. Malfoy!” McGonagall called up to him, waving her arms hastily. “She needs to go to the infirmary, immediately!”

The two Slytherins were staring each other down aggressively as Draco contemplated the threat he was just given. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to throw a hex at Flint and leave with you, but he just swallowed thickly and nodded at him before descending towards the ground and letting you off carefully into the hands of Madam Pomfrey. A surge of fear ran through his body when he finally saw you clearly; a harsh red mark was making its way up to your neck, the corner of your bottom lip had split and doubled in size, there was a small scratch on your cheekbone. It made him feel queasy, but he tore his eyes away from you and hopped back onto his broom while glaring angrily at Marcus and the distant group of huddled Gryffindor’s. 

He was blinded in rage when the match resumed and even more enraged when Flint had cheered loudly when the announcer granted Slytherin a penalty for the injury Rees gave you, allowing them basically to get a free score in against Gryffindor. Draco let his eyes wander around for the snitch for the first time that day and he could hear his heart thundering in his eardrums in distress as the rain continued to make his search worse. All he wanted was to get out of the game to check up on you, and then he'd come back to the stadium to throw his fists into Rees’ face with maybe a few hits in on Marcus.

Just as he was losing hope, he saw a flash of gold whiz past him with a loud buzzing that shocked him into alertness. He didn’t care that catching the snitch would win the game, or the cup, or give him all the glory, no - this was his ticket out. He dived towards it with his arm outstretched, hand thrashing around in the wind as he tried to eagerly catch it. In seconds, Harry was right beside him, bumping him with his shoulder to try and throw him off the path but Draco only pushed back harder. There was a flurry of shouting as everyone watched, the announcer was yelling into the mic about the seekers going head-to-head, bludgers were flying past him. 

It was pure chaos and urgency, Draco could feel the fluttering of its wings beneath his palm and when Harry pushed into him one more time, he felt the coldness of the Snitch get trapped into his enclosed hand, the vibration of its wings sending a current of relief up his arm that spread throughout his whole body as he soared up into the sky while brandishing it to the schools’ painfully watchful eyes.

“MALFOY HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH, WINNING SLYTHERIN THIS YEAR’S INTER-HOUSE QUIDDITCH CUP!”

Draco hurriedly made his way down to the field where the rest of his house was pooling into, celebrating proudly and calling out for him to praise, but when he landed on the ground and was met with half of the Gryffindor team including Rowan Rees - all his wrath came flooding back into him. 

Angelina, another Gryffindor Chaser, had nudged Rowan with her shoulder, pointing towards the Slytherin Prince that was stalking towards them.

“Malfoy,” Rees started bitterly, “sorry about the girlfriend, I was only trying to knock the quaffle out her hands.”

“After she had already thrown it?” He glowered, walking closer up to the boy that was beginning to straighten himself out and flex. “Looked a little personal seeing how she was dragging you through the dust the whole game.”

“Accidents happen, mate,” Rees shrugged, “it’s only quidditch, you won didn’t you? Maybe you should be thanking me for giving you that extra push to win the game.”

A clear line had been crossed and everyone who was listening knew it. But before Rowan could say anything to try and drag himself out of the hole he had just dug himself into, he was being tackled into the ground with Draco above him throwing punches wherever he could land them. There was loud hooting and laughing coming from the Slytherins that gathered around the fight, cheering loudly for their House superior.

Rees was thrashing around on the ground, trying frantically to throw off the extremely infuriated boy that was repeatedly pounding into his face with bloodied and bruised fists. Oliver Wood ran up to the sudden brawl, Fred and George following closely behind him as they all started trying to rip the fighting boy’s apart from each other. Oliver had gotten Draco off briefly, allowing Rees to try and get a hit in but it was dodged at the last second as the blond quickly leaped up to his feet. The fight immediately ended when a muddy shoe had collided with Rowan’s jaw and Draco stepped back satisfied with the damage he had done, roughly shrugging off the grip Oliver still had on his arm.

“It’s only quidditch, right?” He spat venomously from above the Gryffindor who was holding his now battered face in pain. “That’ll teach you from putting your hands on a woman too.”

“Mr. Malfoy!” Madam Hooch bellowed as she broke through the crowd in a frenzy. “50 points from Slytherin, go wait outside Professor Snape’s office for further punishment, go right now!”

Draco did go, and instantly, but he didn’t go down to the dungeons to hear about the lengthy detention that he knew he was going to get and the scolding for being reckless and stupid. His feet carried his sore body up the many stairs that led to the hospital wing, his pace picking up swiftly when he saw the large double doors of the infirmary ajar and he was able to hear a faint and familiar voice speaking indistinctly. 

He threw open the doors, walking straight in as if he owned the place and ignored Pomfrey’s requests for him to leave as he made a beeline towards your hunched figure that was facing away from him. 

“I need to see her,” he said to the nurse quickly when she stopped in front of him. “I’ll leave soon, please.”

At the sound of his voice, you hastily turned around in your spot to face him, a yelp escaping your lips for moving too quickly through your injuries. Pomfrey stepped out of the way with a sigh allowing Draco to jog over to you.

“I’m going to kill him,” he scowled when he reached you. You were wearing a sling, a deep purple and yellowed bruise quickly set itself over the side of your arm and the same cuts he saw from earlier were still scattered over your features. His fingers ghosted over your skin and he let out a deep shaky exhale of anxiousness before moving his thumb up to graze your cheek tenderly.

“What happened to you?” You asked quietly in shock when you noticed his mud-splattered clothes and tattered fists. 

“Long story,” he drawled. “Don’t worry about me, are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” you muttered with a slight shrug that made you whimper lightly. “Did we win?”

He nodded quietly, his eyes still scanning sadly over your face with a frown. “I swear, I’m going to kill him.”

“Only if I can help,” you sniggered faintly, trying to make light of the situation and succeeding in doing so when you saw he had cracked a small smile. With his hand still on your cheek, he bent down to press a firm kiss on the top of your hair and then warmly on the side of your mouth that wasn’t bleeding.

“I’ll just let you finish him off then,” he mulled amusingly when he pulled away.

“Finish him off?”

The doors of the hospital wing were thrown open again, a sea of red flowing inside as they carried in a pummeled Rowan with a busted lip, bloodied nose, black eye, and deeply bruised jaw. You looked briskly between Rees and Draco, both of them staring daggers at each other and it rapidly clicked in your mind why your boyfriend had looked like he just walked through a battlefield in your absence.

“Oh.”

[reallifesultanas]

Portrait of Kösem Sultan / Köszem szultána portréja

Origin and way to the palace

Kösem Sultan, according to most accounts, was of Greek descent, presumably born and raised on the island of Tinos until her abduction. Legend has it that she was called Anastasia and was the daughter of a priest, but there is no evidence to suggest this. It was fondly rumored for high-class concubines such as Kösem or even Hürrem that they were children of priests. The reasons for this are to be found in religious differences. The exact date of her birth is unknown, but she may have been roughly the same age as Ahmed I, so she was most likely born between 1587 and 1590.

There are several legends about how and when she got into the imperial capital. What is certain is that when she entered the harem, she was given the name Mahpeyker, which means moon-faced in Persian. Because the concubines were fondly named for their external or internal characteristics, her name suggests that Mahpeyker was a girl with a round face, light skin, and perhaps even blonde. Some say a Bosnian beylerbey presented the girl to the young sultan. According to another well-known legend, Mahpeyker was a servant of Handan Sultan, during Mehmed III's lifetime. That's how she got close to the young Prince Ahmed, with whom they fall in love and flirted with each other. As soon as Handan realized the relationship, she exiled the girl as their actions were not appropriate. Mahpeyker thus certainly spent the next few months in exile at the Old Palace.

Rising

Mehmed III died in December 1603 and Prince Ahmed became the next sultan, as Ahmed I. The first few months of his reign were very chaotic, instead of him, his mother and teacher ruled as regents, and in addition, Ahmed fell ill with smallpox. From the spring of 1604, however, he increasingly took control and presumably recalled Mahpeyker from exile at that time as well, or it was at that time that the girl was given to him as a gift (depending on which legend is true). Mahpeyker soon became pregnant and in March 1605 gave birth to her first child, Mehmed. Mehmed was not Ahmed’s firstborn son, so Mahpeyker needed all her talents to save her son’s life. In any case, the fact that Ahmed had not executed his younger brother, the young Mustafa, could give her hope. The survival of Mustafa meant the end of the law of fratricide, which in turn guaranteed the survival of Mahpeyker's son.

Mahpeyher soon became the first woman of Ahmed's harem, as Handan Valide Sultan died in November 1605 after a long illness, and the mother of Ahmed's eldest son was not as loved by Ahmed as Mahpeyker. Based on harem documents, Mahpeyker received the rank of Haseki Sultan from the Sultan in late 1605 or early 1606, making it clear that the mother of his second son was Ahmed's favorite concubine. She also received a featured daily salary of 500 aspers, which later increased to 1,000 aspers. Based on reports, it can be attributed to this event that Mahpeyker decided to choose a new name for herself. Her new name was Kösem, which means "leader". The name made it clear that Kösem considered herself a leader. This is also supported by subsequent reports. The Venetian ambassador wrote Kösem as "a woman of beauty and wisdom who has a lot of talent, who sings excellently, and whom the Sultan loves more than anyone... Not everyone respects her, but in some matters, everyone listens to her word, for she is the Sultan's favorite, whom the ruler constantly wants to know by his side."

The former account suggests that there may have been tension between Kösem and the other consorts. We must admit though, that it would not be surprising, especially knowing that Mahfiruze was the mother of the firstborn prince, yet Kösem got the rank of Haseki Sultan and she clearly rose above the other concubines. Another account also supports this, as the Sultan once beat a concubine for irritating Kösem. True, after beating the woman, he ordered the doctors of the harem to treat her properly because of the old love between them. More likely, however, contrary to legend, this consort was not Mahfiruze, but a lesser important and influental woman.

The chief consort

Kösem and Ahmed had a great number of children and from the birth-date of the children, we can conclude that Ahmed was mainly having sex with other concubines when Kösem was pregnant. In addition, it appears that for a few years after the birth of Prince Mehmed, Ahmed had a monogamous relationship with Kösem or he was careful not to have children with others. This is suggests by the fact, that after the birth of Ahmed’s first three children (Osman, Gevherhan, Mehmed) who were born from three mothers, from 1605 to 1609 only Kösem gave birth to children: Ayşe, Fatma and Hanzade Sultanas arrived in quick succession. From then on, after 1609 Ahmed regularly slept with other concubines from whom his children were also born. Kösem finally got pregnant again at the end of 1611, so then Ahmed called her first concubine Mahfiruze again. In 1612 thus two more princes were born from the two concubines, Murad and Bayezid. After the birth of Bayezid, Mahfiruze presumably passed away, so Kösem remained the only influential woman in the harem. Maybe the increase in her salary happened this time. Kösem gave birth to her last two children in 1614 and 1615, so the dynasty was expanded by two more princes, Kasim and Ibrahim.

The fact that Kösem had many sons and did not own the eldest son made it clear that she had to fight to keep Prince Mustafa, Ahmed's brother alive. For if Prince Mustafa survives, the succession system will change forever and her sons may survive. Even the ambassadors remembered her actions. Kösem knew the nature of Sultan Ahmed well, so she knew exactly what might affect the sultan. Ahmed tried to execute his brother three times before giving up permanently and leaving him alive. It is not known exactly what convinced the Sultan, but the constant argument of Kösem for keeping Mustafa alive certainly helped a lot. Ahmed was a very religious man who believed in fate and thought he was a chosen one, for he found no other explanation for the fact that, as a not first-born son, he eventually ascended the throne. Kösem taking advantage of this argued that only Allah has the right to choose the next ruler, and as Ahmed did not become a sultan either as a first-born, he must show compassion for his non-firstborn brother as well. Perhaps Kösem also pointed out that as soon as Sultan Mehmed III intervened in fate and executed his child, he himself soon died. Whatever Kösem and other supporters of Mustafa said, Ahmed eventually left his brother alive but did not officially change the system of succession. He left the decision to Allah.

Kösem tried to influence Ahmed in other matters as well, but she knew exactly how far she could go. For Ahmed did not want to be controlled by women, Kösem tried only carefully to control the Sultan. Although many believe that Kösem was influential in political fields already in Ahmed’s life, this is certainly not true. Kösem was not politically influential during Ahmed’s reign, only in the harem did she enjoy prominent influence thanks to her Haseki rank and the support of the chief eunuch, Haci Agha. The only politically significant step of Kösem was to push the Sultan to marry off their firstborn daughter, Ayşe to one of her faithful supporters, Nasuh Pasha. However, she could not enjoy the benefits of the marriage for long, as Nasuh Pasha was executed by the sultan soon after.

The tragedy

Sultan Ahmed had been a sick man all his life, but by 1617 his illness had become very serious, the sultan must have been in constant pain. There are malicious, completely unbelieving rumors that Kösem was behind Ahmed's illness. However, this is simply not true and cannot be true. Kösem was the one who lost as much as possible with Ahmed’s death. Two princes also stood in front of her sons for the throne, Ahmed's brother, Mustafa, and Ahmed's firstborn son, Osman. Osman lost his mother around 1612, and Kösem wanted to turn the situation to her advantage. She believed that raising Osman as her own son from then on could save the lives of her own children if Osman would sat on the throne one day. That is why Kösem spent a lot of time with Osman, taking him to carriage rides regularly when she visited Safiye Sultan in Old Palace with her own son, Mehmed. However, Ahmed knew Kösem well, he knew what her intentions were, so he forbade her to meet or even talk to Osman and his younger brother (Bayezid most probably).

Ahmed's condition was already in crisis in November 1617, and the 27-year-old sultan finally died on November 22, 1617. His death caused chaos, as the members of the divan did not know who to put on the throne. Both possible candidates were completely unfit to rule. Prince Mustafa was mentally ill as a result of many years of solitary confinement, he was like a small child in mind; Prince Osman was only 13 years old and was without a strong mother who could support and guide him. Eventually, under the pressure of Haci Agha and Seyhülislam Efendi, Prince Mustafa was made Sultan, hoping that his condition would improve if he could be among people again. With the accession of Mustafa, all of Ahmed's concubines, including Kösem, and their daughters retreated to the Old Palace. However, her sons were separated from her and all the princes were kept in solitary confinement in the kafes. We can only imagine how much pain it could have been for a mother to lose her partner, being torn apart from her sons. Kösem was also very worried about the lives of her sons.

False relief

Due to the unfitness of Sultan Mustafa, he was dethroned and locked up again in 1618. The new sultan became Osman  II. The sons of Kösem were still locked up, but Osman did not forget how Kösem cared for him in his childhood. The young sultan regularly visited Kösem at the Old Palace. Based on these, maybe Kösem thought that her sons are safe.

However, Sultan Osman was surrounded by bad advisers who only cared about their own interests. Due to this and the unstable political situation, Osman II executed his brother, Prince Mehmed, in 1621. Osman was not liked by his soldiers, his supporters were also unpopular, but Prince Mehmed was a really good candidate for being a sultan with a strong mother, like Kösem. The young sultan Osman feared deposition and it was certainly this fear that drove him into the fratricide. But with this choice, he also signed his own death sentence. Osman was dethroned by the Janissaries in 1622 and was brutally executed. The main supporter of the dethronement was the mother of Sultan Mustafa, Halime. Some say from the background, Kösem also supported Halime. There is no evidence for this, but the assumption seems quite logical.

After the assassination of Osman II, Mustafa and his mother, Halime, reigned again. However, the second sultanate of Sultan Mustafa was no more successful than the first. The statesmen and people could not forgive the brutal execution of Osman, so Mustafa was once again deposed and in 1623 the time of Kösem came.

The regent

After the dethronement of Mustafa, the barely 11-year-old Prince Murad became the new Sultan, as Murad IV. However, given his young age, his mother, Kösem, became the regent instead. It is clear from her correspondence with the Grand Vizier that Kösem wanted to rule as a regent by accompanying her son to every event so that she would appear in the audience room of the divan with him also. She made this request to the Vizier, who, in turn, did not allow Kösem to do so, citing traditions and asked her to forget this. Kösem at that time agreed to this and worked from the background. Every report of this time talks about Kösem in a very nice way. They point out that she is not at all like Mustafa I’s mother, as she is a smart, well-versed politician, a wise and thoughtful woman who has already demonstrated in Ahmed’s life how strong a spirit lives in her.

With so much pain behind her, with Murad’s accession to the throne, she was finally able to meet her sons again and she believed their lives would finally continue in a calmer period. Kösem and her sons could not live together for almost six years though, presumably only met during the holidays. This certainly affected her relationship with her sons. Murad was a difficult child to handle, and several letters of Kösem have survived in which she complains to the Grand Vizier about how much she does not have the strength to fight with Murad and how much he does not listen to her words, and sometimes he even refuses to see her for days. In addition to the wedge of isolation between them, their similar personalities did not help much either. They were both leading individuals, with a very strong will, so they had a hard time getting along with each other. They argued with each other many times, after which Kösem was the one who wanted to reconcile. After one of their big quarrels, for example, she gave Murad a horse, and at other times she organized a huge ceremony for him. In addition, Kösem has regularly expressed her concern about Murad’s health, suggesting that perhaps Murad was already struggling with health problems at the time, as was his father.

Kösem although ruled for a very long time, there is almost no information about her regency. It is so certain that Kösem has always enjoyed the support of the Janissaries throughout her life. Statesmen came and went but the Janissaries always stood by her. Why? Kösem seemed like a sure point in chaotic times, and because on a delicate issue, she sided with the Janissaries immediately after the accession of Murad. With each accession to the throne, the sultan distributes money among his soldiers, but the statesmen did not want to fulfill it when Murad ascended the throne. They thought that this money had been paid too many times in the last few years, given that the sultans just came after each other in a short row. Kösem, however, did not agree with this and paid the money for the Janissaries. And in gratitude for this — and certainly for the money later delivered to them — they stood by the side of Kösem throughout her life.

About Kösem's political decisions, little has survived. Her remaining letters make it clear to us that she worked closely with the pashas and the decisions were discussed together. The leading pashas wrote their letters directly to her, which also proves that every thread ran together in the hands of Kösem. In essence, she was actually steering instead of her son, not along with her son.

From Ahmed's death, the empire gradually fell into anarchy, which couldn't be stopped even by the otherwise fairly well ruling Kösem. They lost several important areas and tried in vain to recapture them without success. Furthermore, Abaza Mehmed Pasha, who revolted after the execution of Osman II, despite the fact that everyone was punished who were accountable for the murder, refused to recognize Murad as his new ruler and continued his rebellion. Nor could this be suppressed by the pashas sent after him. To make matters worse, in 1625 a plague broke out in the capital and killed more than a hundred thousand people. Then in 1628 Murad also became seriously ill, lying in bed for weeks. His exact illness was not revealed, but some say that was when his epilepsy began. The only good thing happening in that year was the fact that they were able to capture Abaza Mehmed Pasha and stop his rebellion.

Kösem tried to maintain the peace of the empire to her best efforts, and for this, she was forced to turn a blind eye to certain things. Such was the case with growing corruption. This generated a lot of controversy between her and her son. For Murad had peculiar ideas of reign, his role model was Selim I, who held everything in his own hands and ruled the empire with iron tightness. In addition, Kösem herself gave big influence and power to the pashas she favored, which has provoked resentment from many. For example, her son-in-law, Fatma's husband, Hafiz Ahmed Pasha, took up an important position as a Janissary officer, which was too much even for the Janissaries who otherwise loved Kösem.

Valide Sultan

In 1632, after the appointment of Hafiz Ahmed Pasha, a Janissary revolt took place, during which the rebels executed the Grand Vizier and the close friend of Sultan Murad, Musa Çelebi. As a result, in May 1632, Murad took control and resigned his mother from the regent position, and began to rule himself. Kösem did not object, she stood aside, but she tried to help her son, to show him the way. Murad didn't appreciate it though in the slightest and didn't listen to his mother's advice. Murad was compulsively trying to keep his mother away from politics, and it is clear from his actions that he was disturbed by his mother’s great influence, the fact that in recent years his mother has had much more power than him, the sultan. That is why, as soon as he took power Murad tried to replace his mother's men, such as his own brother-in-law, Hafiz Ahmed Pasha, who had already been mentioned. With this he could withdraw from his mother's influence to begin his absolute rule. The relationship between the two of them was probably marked by the Janissary rebellion of 1632 forever and because of this, they could not get closer to each other later either. Kösem in the years of Murad’s reign, thus essentially functioned only as a valide sultan, administering the harem and dealing with her charitable projects.

Kösem had a good sense of winning people. She often distributed donations to those in need, and visited prisons every year, where she paid the debt of those who were imprisoned for debt; she helped poor families to marry off their daughters; she freed her own slaves after two years of service and took care of their marriages. Her charity is undoubted, but it is also important to mention that she regarded her former servants as a kind of spies. She kept their husbands in check through the women who were extremely loyal to her. Thus, in addition to helping many with a good heart, in some cases, these charitable acts also served her own interests. This was not uncommon anyway, every other sultana used these marriages to serve their own interests.

Kösem was worried a lot for her son, as Murad has divided the people a lot. After many years, he was the first sultan to lead a successful campaign for which the people loved him. At the same time, he ruled with excessive cruelty and wrote hypocritical laws. He sentenced to death, for example, those who drank despite the alcohol ban regulation while he himself became increasingly immersed in alcoholism. In addition to Murad’s alcoholism, he was certainly paranoid and depressed, due to his childhood traumas and the fact that his sons died in a row. Some also blame Kösem for the early death of Murad’s sons, but there is no evidence to that. In his writings, Evliya Çelebi clarifies that all of Murad’s sons were born in poor health and therefore died shortly after their birth.

Even though Murad didn’t really heed the suggestions his mother, Kösem never gave up and tried to support her child in everything. Thus, for example, when Murad was away from Istanbul, she thoroughly reported that someone had not followed his instructions. She did so even when they did not want to carry out an execution-order issued by Murad.

Despite the fact that Murad only was alive thanks to the abolishing of the law of fratricide, he himself decided that the old system should be brought back. For this reason, after his successful campaign in Revan, he executed his two half-brothers, Bayezid and Suleiman, in 1635, and three years later, after his campaign in Baghdad, his full-brother, Prince Kasim. The life of the youngest brother, Ibrahim, was saved only by the prince's troubled mind and the supplication of Kösem. The fact that Murad wanted to get rid of all his brothers may point to two things. Either he had completely lost his sanity and wanted the end of the dynasty, or he had at least one living son during this period for whom he wanted to clear the way.

Second regency

Murad suffered serious injuries during the campaign in Baghdad, and his alcoholism, cirrhosis caused by his alcoholism, and his chronic illness all worsened his situation. Some say Murad ordered the execution of Ibrahim while dying, but Kösem prevented him from doing so. Either way, in February 1640, Sultan Murad died in the Revani Pavilion, exactly where he had executed his younger brother, Kasim not long before. By his death, the only man in the dynasty alive was his younger brother, the mentally unstable Ibrahim. Ibrahim was completely unfit to rule, like his uncle Mustafa I, he himself struggled with mental problems. However, unlike Mustafa, Ibrahim was paranoid insane. When he was told that his brother was dead, he could not believe it and refused to sit on the throne until he could examine his brother's dead body himself.

In the first years of Ibrahim's reign, Kösem was able to handle the Sultan well and gave him concubines to deal with them instead of other kinds of stuff. Meanwhile, she herself ruled with the Grand Vizier, Kemankeş Kara Mustafa Pasha, instead of his son. Although Kösem and Kemankeş Kara Mustafa Pasha did not like each other and even they constantly rivalized, they still ruled excellently together for the sake of the empire. This regency may have been easier than the previous one, for the empire was relatively at peace, and Kösem as an experienced, mature woman could easily rule. In addition to state affairs, she also tried to oversee the affairs of the harem in all aspects. Thus, for example, she had a confrontation with Murad IV's Haseki, Ayşe. Ayşe wanted to marry her daughter, Esmehan Kaya, to the Silahdar Mustafa Pasha, to whom Murad had promised the girl. Kösem, however, chose someone else, from her own trusted men. The debate between the two women went very far and even Kaya herself did not want to marry Kösem's chosen one, but Kösem did not give up and in 1644 forced her - otherwise favorite - granddaughter to marry the very old Melek Ahmed Pasha.

Over time, Ibrahim came under the influence of a certain Cici Hoca and rebelled against his mother’s rule. Cinci Hoca was a religious leader in occult sciences who took advantage of the sultan’s mental problems. As a result, the Sultan executed his Grand Vizier in 1644 and exiled his mother. He originally intended to send his mother to the island of Rhodes, but eventually, his concubines persuaded him to send him only to another palace. Kösem spent the next few years there in exile, but during that time she also corresponded regularly with the statesmen and tried to keep everything under control. She probably also wrote her well-known letter to Hezarpare Ahmed Pasha here, saying, "In the end, he would leave neither you nor me alive and we would lose control of the state again, thereby destroying our society." The relationship between Ibrahim and Kösem deteriorated so much that Ibrahim wanted to punish his mother at all costs. For this, he deprived Ayşe, Fatma, Hanzade, and Esmehan Kaya, of all their possessions and forced them to serve his new wife. So basically he punished Kösem through her daughters and favorite granddaughter.

Ibrahim's insane rule threatened more and more people. The sultan executed people for almost no reason and gave high positions to those who were completely unfit. The situation deteriorated to the point that in 1647 Kösem and the new Grand Vizier, Salih Pasha together with the Seyhülislam Abdürrahim Efendi, tried to depose Ibrahim, but they failed. The following year, both the Janissaries and the Ulema joined the rebellion, and on August 8, 1648, the mad sultan was easily deposed and imprisoned, and his followers were removed from their positions. They had to decide the fate of Sultan Ibrahim soon, but it was not easy. There used to be a mad sultan who was simply closed up after his dethronement, so this could have been possible in the case of Ibrahim also. However, Ibrahim caused pain to too many, executed too many innocent, and simply had too many supporters to keep him alive.

The broken mother

Everyone demanded the execution of Sultan Ibrahim. Kösem Sultan met with the statesmen at Topkapi Palace to discuss with them what Ibrahim's fate should be. They negotiated for hours, but Kösem all along refused to gave Ibrahim's eldest son, Mehmed to the rebels, so they could not name him sultan. Eventually, the statesmen convinced Kösem, as she was forced to realize over time that her son posed a potential threat to everyone: her, her children, statesmen, soldiers, the entire empire. Kösem didn’t have much choice but to agree to the execution of her son, yet many of the people nowadays condemned her decision. However, we must recognize that whatever did or said Kösem, Ibrahim would have been executed anyway. Kösem, however, with this decision, cared about the interests of the empire, she acted as a ruler and not as a mother. It was a decision similar to the execution of Prince Mustafa in the case of Suleiman I. A true ruler is not only a father or mother to their children but also their superior. On August 18, 1648, Sultan Ibrahim was executed and his eldest son,  Mehmed IV became the new sultan.

Although Kösem's decision was logical and the only good decision for the empire, she herself seems to broke under the weight of the decision. After the execution of Ibrahim, she announced her retirement to the Old Palace, but the statesmen did not allow her. They convinced her that the empire needed her as regent, once again, for the last time. Mehmed was only 7 years old at the time, and his mother was in his early twenties, too young to act as a regent. Kösem accepted the ask of the pashas and again she became the regent of the empire. From her actions and the changes in her personality, we can conclude that it has become her obsession that she is the only one who can rule the empire properly. After the tragedies that befell her, it is perhaps not surprising that such a mental problem has emerged.

The tyrant

Although the statesmen themselves asked Kösem to rule, over time they had to realize that this Kösem was not the woman they had know before. Nonetheless, they expected Kösem to teach Turhan Hatice Sultan and the little Sultan Mehmed how to handle political affairs properly. So they would have expected a kind of training from Kösem, but instead of it, she wanted to decide everything herself, dismiss the statesmen who contradicted her.

More and more people began to debate the right of Kösem for the ruling, one of her well-known divan speech is also from this period. Then Kösem accused Grand Vizier Sofu Ahmed Pasha that he wanted to kill her, then continued, "Thank God I saw four rulers and I ruled for a long time myself also. The world will neither collapse nor reform with my death." Although her speech suggest that she tried to minimize her own influence and importance, she did not act like this otherwise. At the same divan meeting, Kösem confronted with  Karaçelebizade Abdülaziz Efendi for not fulfilling the order given by the sultan immediately. Instead of fulfilling it he asked the sultan, "My dear, who taught you to say such things?". Kösem said that such a derogatory speech towards the sultan is unacceptable, and anyway, how did Karaçelebizade Abdülaziz Efendi think that it was not the sultan who invented what he said?! It is clear, then, that Sultan Mehmed was seen by everyone as a kind of toy. Kösem used the child as her own puppet, and her opponents recognized this exactly, so they were fought with her through not fulfilling her words coming from the sultan.

She also ignored Mehmed's mother, Turhan Hatice in the harem. She did not give the general respect she deserved, did not let the young woman to control of anything or rule the harem, which actually as a valide sultan, was her right. But Turhan did not give up. The harem was torn in two parts, to the supporters of Kösem and the supporters of Turhan Hatice. Both sides had their own chief eunuch, true that the more influential eunuch, Suleiman Agha was on Turhan's side. It says a lot that even then they were not able to defeat Kösem within the harem. People did not know whose instructions to follow, which caused immense chaos within the harem. And although the title of Valide Sultan rightfully belonged to Turhan Hatice as the mother of the Sultan, the colloquial language referred to her only as "small valide," while Kösem was "great valide." Kösem also kept the valide sultanas usual 3,000 aspers daily salary for herself, while Turhan was only allowed to get 2,000 aspers for a day.

The inevitable end

Over time, the strife between Kösem and the statesmen escalated to the point that, with the support of Turhan Hatice, the statesmen tried to remove Kösem from her position. Kösem in response planned to dethrone Sultan Mehmed IV and put her other grandson on the throne instead. To do this, she wanted to let the Janissaries into the palace to carry out the coup at night, which is why she left the gates of the harem open for the night. However, her plan was revealed to her enemies, according to some by a servant named Meleki Hatun. Others said Kösem did not want to dethrone and execute Mehmed, she just wanted to scare him; again others think Kösem did not plan anything, just her enemies had enough of her and they came up with a story to justifying their rebellion against Kösem. However, the best known and most supportive story is still that Kösem wanted to strip Mehmed, so I continue on this line.

Thus, as soon as the men of Kösem opened the gate on September 2, 1651, the people of Turhan Hatice, led by Chief Eunuch Uzun Suleiman Agha, closed it and sent an execution squad to the residence of Kösem. In addition to the support of all existing statesmen, Turhan even had the support of the Spahis during the events, while Kösem was only supported by some Janissary corps. Turhan's people knocked on the door of Kösem when they arrived at her apartment, Kösem thought her own people had come, so she shouted out at them, "Have you come?". For this, however, instead of the voice of the Janissaries, she heard the voice of the eunuch Suleiman Agha, from which she understood that she lost and started to flee. It’s not exactly known how she got out of her apartment or did she even get out from there at all because the descriptions don’t match. Some said she hid in a closet inside her apartment, others said she tried to get to the Janissaries, but she couldn’t get through the closed gate, so she finally hid in the room next to the gate. During her escape, some of the concubines also tried to rush to her aid and blocked the execution squad, and an older woman shouted that she was Kösem Sultan to gain time for her. She tried in vain, for though the executioners did not know the face of Kösem, Suleiman Agha did, so they quickly continued their way after Kösem.

Eventually, Kösem hid in a closet from which the edge of her dress protruded, revealing her hiding place. When they found her, she threw money at his executioners, trying to buy her freedom, but she had no chance against Turhan's loyal men. Legend has it that when the men tried to hold down the valide they ripped out of her ears the diamond earrings she received from Sultan Ahmed; her clothes were also torn as they tried to take away the precious ornaments from it. Even beyond her sixties, Kösem fought very hard against her executioners but in the end they overcame her. Some say she was strangled with her own hair, others said with a curtain. After the first strangulation attempt, she was still alive but did not survive the second one. We don't know who was the one who decided that Kösem Sultan should die. The execution may appear to have taken place lawfully, based on the fetwa of Seyhülislam. However, the temporality is somewhat disturbed by the fact that the original Seyhülislam was replaced by one of Turhan’s trusted men at the same time when the execution took place. Precisely because of this, and because of the unusual brutality of the execution, there may be the possibility that perhaps the execution of Kösem was not originally planned, but the events slipped out of control, and in the heat of the moment the guards executed her. To legalize the events, they produced a fetwa with the new Seyhülislam soon after.

To prevent any resistance, Turhan Hatice and her men removed all statesmen who would have endangered them during the night. And the ones who resisted were forced to surrender with a fetwa. Eventually, they succeeded in blaming the Janissaries for the execution, so in the end, the Janissaries, the main supporters of Kösem, were used as scapegoats. The leaders of the Janissaries were executed.

Legacy

Kösem was buried on September 3 in the complex of Sultan Ahmed. She lies between her beloved Sultan and eldest daughter, Ayşe. The palace did not give an official order on mourning, still, the people of Istanbul decided on their own to close all shops for three days to pay their respects to the deceased Kösem Sultan. Many loved her for her charities, but the fact that the people did not hate Turhan Hatice either, (actually they loved her also) suggests that she was not blamed for Kösem Sultan's death.

Kösem Sultan can be considered as the last classical Haseki Sultan and the only Valide Sultan who served as a regent three times, along with three different sultans. For a total of 27 years and 11 months, she had the third-longest reign in the history of Ottoman Empire as a Valide Sultan. She has spent a great amount of money from her amazing wealth to help the ones in need throughout her life. Although she has had a smaller complex built, she has spent less on construction than her predecessors. Rather, she tried to help those in need in a smaller, less spectacular way. According to some accounts, she went so far with her donations that when she overspent herself and in vain asked her son for help, she sold her jewelry so that she could continue what she had planned.

She is almost the only sultana who, when characterized by contemporary ambassadors, emphasized not primarily her beauty but her intelligence, prudence, and strength. Kösem Sultan was the sultana who broke the highest, who could have been at the top for a long time, but from the great heights, she finally fell down and became the only murdered valide sultana ever.

Kösem Sultan had several titles during her life: Naib-i Sultanat (regent of the Ottoman Empire), Umin al-Mu'minin (mother of all muslims), Büyük Valide Sultan (great Valide Sultan), Valide-i Sehide (martyred mother), Valide-i Maktule (murdered mother), Valide-i Muazzama (magnificent mother).

Used sources: Ö. Kumrular - Kösem Sultan: iktidar, hırs, entrika; C. Finkel - Osman’s Dream: the History of the Ottoman Empire, L. Peirce - The Imperial Harem; M. P. Pedani - Relazioni inedite; N. Sakaoğlu - Bu Mülkün Kadın Sultanları; B. Tezcan - Searching for Osman: A Reassessment of the Deposition of the Ottoman Sultan Osman II (1618-1622);  Y. Öztuna - Sultan Genç Osman ve Sultan IV. Murad; G. Börekçi - Factions and Favorites at the Courts of Sultan Ahmed I and His Immediate Predecessors; F. Davis - The Palace of Topkapi in Istanbul; G. Börekçi - A Queen Mother at Work: On Handan Sultan and Her Regency during the Early Reign of Ahmed I; . Faroqhi - The Ottoman Empire and the World; C. Imber - The Ottoman Empire 1300-1650; F. Suraiya, K. Fleet - The Cambridge History of Turkey 1453-1603; G. Piterberg - An Ottoman Tragedy, History and Historiography at Play; F. Suraiya - The Cambridge History of Turkey, The Later Ottoman Empire, 1603–1839; Ö. Düzbakar - Charitable Women And Their Pious Foundations In The Ottoman

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Származása és útja a palotába

Köszem szultána a legtöbb beszámoló szerint görög származású volt, aki feltehetőleg Tinos szigetén született és nevelkedett egészen elrablásáig. A legendák szerint, Anastasiának hívták és egy pap lánya volt, azonban erre utaló bizonyíték nincs. Előszeretettel híresztelték a magasra törő ágyasokról, mint amilyen Köszem vagy akár Hürrem volt, hogy papok gyermekei voltak. Ennek okai a vallási különbségekben keresendőek. Pontos születési ideje nem ismert, ám I. Ahmeddel nagyjából egy idős lehetett, így 1587-1590 között születhetett a legnagyobb valószínűséggel.

Több legenda is létezik arra vonatkozóan, hogy hogyan és mikor került a birodalmi fővárosba. Annyi bizonyos, hogy a hárembe kerülésekor a Mahpeyker nevet kapta, mely jelentése perzsául hold-arcú. Mivel az ágyasokat előszeretettel nevezték el külső vagy belső tulajdonságaik alapján, neve valószínűsíti, hogy Mahpeyker kerek arcú, világos bőrű lány volt, sőt talán szőke is. Egyesek szerint egy bosnyák beglerbég ajándékozta a lányt az ifjú szultánnak. A másik jól ismert legenda szerint Mahpeyker Handan szultána szolgálója volt még III. Mehmed életében. Így kerülhetett közel az ifjú ágyas Ahmed herceghez, akivel egymásba szerettek és flörtöltek. Amint Handan rájött a viszonyra, a lányt száműzte, hiszen nem volt illendő a tettük. Mahpeyker így minden bizonnyal valamennyi időt a Régi Palotában töltött száműzetésben.

Felemelkedés

III. Mehmed 1603 decemberében meghalt és Ahmed herceg lett a következő szultán, I. Ahmed néven. Uralkodásának első néhány hónapja igen kaotikus volt, helyette anyja és tanítója uralkodott régensként, majd Ahmed himlőt is kapott. 1604 tavaszától azonban egyre inkább saját kezébe vette az irányítást és feltehetőleg ekkor hívta vissza Mahpeykert is a száműzetésből, vagy ekkor ajándékozták neki a lányt (attól függően mely legenda az igaz). Mahpeyker hamarosan várandós lett és 1605 márciusában életet adott első szülött gyermekének, Mehmednek. Mehmed nem Ahmed elsőszülött fia volt, így Mahpeykernek minden tehetségére szüksége volt, hogy fia életét megóvja. Mindenképpen reményt ébreszthetett benne a tény, hogy Ahmed trónralépése után nem végeztette ki édesöccsét, a kisgyermek Musztafát. Musztafa életben maradása a testvérgyilkosság törvényének megingását jelentette, amely pedig Mahpeyker fiának életben maradását is garantálta.

Mahpeyher hamarosan Ahmed háremének első asszonya lett, Handan Valide Szultána ugyanis 1605 novemberében hosszas betegség után elhunyt, Ahmed legidősebb fiának anyja pedig nem érhetett fel Mahpeykerhez. A hárem dokumentumok alapján Mahpeyker 1605 végén vagy 1606 legelején kapta meg a szultántól a Haszeki Szultána rangot, amivel Ahmed egyértelművé tette, hogy második fiának anyja a kedvenc ágyasa. Rangjához kiemelt, 500 asperes napi fizetést is kapott, mely később 1000 asperre növekedett. Követi beszámolók alapján ehhez az eseményhez köthető, hogy Mahpeyker úgy döntött új nevet választ magának. Új neve a Köszem lett, melynek jelentése "vezető". A név egyértelművé tette, hogy Köszem magát vezéregyéniségnek tartotta. Ezt a követi beszámolók is alátámasztják. A velencei követ úgy írt Köszemről, mint "a szépség és okosság asszonya, aki nagyon sok tehetséggel bír, kiválóan énekel és akit a szultán mindenkinél jobban szeret... Nem mindenki tiszteli, azonban bizonyos ügyekben mindenki hallgat a szavára, hiszen ő a szultán kedvence, akit állandóan maga mellett akar tudni az uralkodó."

Az előbbi beszámoló sejteti, hogy talán feszültség lehetett Köszem és a többi ágyas között. Valljuk be ez nem lenne meglepő, különösen ismerve, hogy Mahfiruze volt az elsőszülött herceg anyja, mégis Köszem viselhette a Haszeki szultána rangot és egyértelműen minden téren a többi ágyas fölé magasodott. Egy másik beszámoló szintén alátámasztja ezt, ugyanis a szultán egyszer megveretett egy ágyast, amiért az irritálta Köszemet. Igaz, miután megverette a nőt, elrendelte, hogy kezeljék a hárem orvosai megfelelően, a köztük lévő régi szerelem miatt. Valószínűbb azonban a legendákkal ellentétben, ez az ágyas nem Mahfiruze volt, hanem egy jelentéktelenebb nő.

A főágyas

Köszem és Ahmed igen sok gyermeket nemzettek és a gyermekek születési éveiből arra következtethetünk, hogy Ahmed főleg akkor hált más ágyasokkal, mikor Köszem terhes volt. Emellett úgy tűnik, hogy Mehmed herceg születése után néhány évig Ahmed vagy monogám kapcsolatban állt Köszemmel vagy odafigyelt, hogy másoknak ne nemzzen gyermeket. Erre enged következtetni, hogy Ahmed első három gyermekének (Oszmán, Gevherhan, Mehmed) három anyától való születése után 1605-től 1609-ig nem született mástól gyermeke, csak Köszemtől: Ayşe, Fatma és Hanzade szultánák gyors egymásutániságban érkeztek. Innentől kezdve Ahmed rendszeresen fogadott más ágyasokat is, akiktől gyermekei is születtek. Köszem végül 1611 végén újra teherbe esett, ekkor Ahmed újra hívatta első ágyasát Mahfiruzét. 1612-ben így két újabb herceg jött világra a két ágyastól, Murad és Bayezid hercegek. Bayezid születése után Mahfiruze feltehetőleg elhunyt, így Köszem maradt az egyetlen befolyásos nő a háremben. Köszem utolsó két gyermeke 1614-ben és 1615-ben jöttek világra, így újabb két herceggel, Kasimmal és Ibrahimmal bővült a dinasztia.

A tény, hogy Köszemnek sok fia volt és nem övé volt a legidősebb fiú, egyértleművé tette, hogy küzdenie kellett Musztafa herceg, Ahmed öccsének életben tartásáért. Ha ugyanis Musztafa herceg életben marad, az öröklés örökre megváltozik és fiai életben maradhatnak. Köszem küzdelméről még a követek is megemlékeztek. Köszem jól ismerte Ahmed szultán természetét, így pontosan tudta mivel hathat a szultánra. Ahmed háromszor próbálta meg kivégeztetni öccsét, mielőtt végleg feladta és életben hagyta volna. Nem tudni, hogy pontosan mi győzte meg a szultánt, de Köszem állandó érvelése Musztafa életben hagyása mellett minden bizonnyal sokat nyomott a latba. Ahmed igen vallásos férfi volt, aki hitt a sorsban és úgy gondolta, ő maga kiválasztott, nem talált ugyanis más magyarázatot arra, hogy sokadszülött fiúként végül ő került a trónra. Köszem ezt használta ki, és úgy érvelt, hogy csak Allahnak van joga kiválasztani a következő uralkodót, Ahmed pedig mint aki maga sem elsőszülöttként lett szultán, könyörületet kell mutasson szintén nem elsőszülött testvére iránt. Talán Köszem arra is rávilágított, hogy amint III. Mehmed szultán beleavatkozott a sorsba és kivégeztette legesélyesebb gyermekét, maga is hamarosan meghalt. Akármit is mondott Köszem és Musztafa többi támogatója, Ahmed végül életben hagyta öccsét, azonban nem változtatott a trónöröklési sorrenden hivatalosan. Allahra hagyta a döntést.

Köszem más ügyekben is igyekezett befolyásolni Ahmedet, ám pontosan tudta, meddig mehet el. Ahmed ugyanis nem szerette volna, ha nők irányítják, így Köszem csak óvatosan igyekezett irányítani a szultánt. Bár sokan úgy tartják, hogy Köszem mozgatta a szálakat már Ahmed életében is, minden bizonnyal ez nem igaz. Köszem politikailag nem volt befolyásos Ahmed uralkodása során, csak a háremben élvezhetett kiemelt befolyást köszönhetően Haszeki rangjának és a fő eunuch, Haci Aga támogatásának. Köszem egyetlen politikai szempontból jelentős lépése az volt, hogy elérte a szultánnál, hogy elsőszülött lányukat, Ayşét egyik hű támogatójához, Nasuh Pasához adják feleségül. Azonban nem élvezhette sokáig a házasság előnyét, Nasuh Pasát ugyanis nemsokkal később kivégeztette a szultán.

A tragédia

Ahmed szultán egész életében beteges férfi volt, ám 1617-re betegsége igen súlyossá vált, a szultánt minden bizonnyal állandó fájdalmak kínozták. Akadnak olyan rosszindulatú, teljesen hiteltelen pletykák, miszerint Köszem állt Ahmed betegségének hátterében. Ez azonban egyszerűen nem igaz és nem is lehet igaz. Köszem volt az, aki a lehető legtöbbet veszítette Ahmed halálával. Fiai előtt két herceg is sorba állt a trónért, Ahmed öccse, Musztafa és Ahmed elsőszülött fia, Oszmán. Oszmán 1612 környékén veszítette el édesanyját, Köszem pedig szerette volna saját előnyére fordítani a helyzetet. Úgy vélte, hogyha Oszmánt onnantól kezdve saját fiaként neveli, azzal megmentheti saját gyermekeinek életét abban az esetben, ha Oszmán ülne a trónra egy napon. Épp ezért Köszem rengeteg időt töltött Oszmánnal, rendszeresen vitte magával, mikor Mehmed herceggel a Régi Palotában tettek látogatást Safiye szultánánál. Ahmed azonban jól ismerte Köszemet, tudta, hogy mik a szándékai, ezért eltiltotta őt Oszmántól.

Ahmed állapota 1617 novemberében már válságos volt, a 27 éves szultán végül 1617 november 22-én elhunyt. Halála káoszt okozott, ugyanis a divan tagjai nem tudták, hogy kit ültessenek trónra. Mind a két lehetséges jelölt teljesen alkalmatlan volt az uralkodásra. Musztafa herceg a sok éves elszigetelt bezárás következtében mentálisan sérült volt, nem volt beszámítható, egy kisgyermek szintjén rekedt; Oszmán herceg pedig csak 13 éves volt és nem állt mögötte egy erős anya, aki támogatni és irányítani tudta volna. Végül Haci Aga és a Seyhülislam Efendi nyomására Musztafa herceget tették meg szultánnak, remélve, hogy állapota javulni fog ha újra emberek között lehet. Musztafa trónralépésével Ahmed összes ágyasa, így Köszem is, lányaival együtt a Régi Palotába vonultak vissza. Köszemtől azonban fiait elválasztották és az összes herceget elzárva tartották ám kevésbé tragikus körülmények között, mint annak idején Musztafa herceget. Csak elk��pzelni tudjuk, mekkora fájdalom lehetett ez egy anya számára, elveszíteni párját, elszakítva élni fiaitól. Köszem mindemellett nagyon aggódhatott fiai életéért is.

A hamis fellélegzés

Musztafa szultánt alkalmatlansága miatt 1618-ban trónfosztották és elzárták. Az új szultán Oszmán lett, II. Oszmán néven. Köszem fiai továbbra is elzárva voltak, azonban Oszmán nem feledte, hogy Köszem gyermekkorában hogyan viseltetett irányába. Az ifjú szultán rendszeresen tett látogatást a Régi Palotában Köszemnél. Ezek alapján talán Köszem azt hihette, fiai biztonságban vannak.

Oszmán szultánt azonban rossz tanácsadók vették körül, akik csak a saját érdekeiket tartották szemelőtt. Ennek és a labilis politikai helyzetnek köszönhetően, II. Oszmán 1621-ben kivégeztette öccsét, Mehmed herceget. Oszmánt nem kedvelték a katonái, támogatói is népszerűtlenek voltak, Mehmed herceg azonban egy erős anyával, Köszemmel igazán jó jelölt volt Oszmánnal szemben. Az ifjú szultán félt a trónfosztástól és minden bizonnyal ez a félelem kergette bele a testvérgyilkosságba, amivel azonban saját halálos ítéletét is aláírta. Oszmánt 1622-ben trónfosztották a janicsárok és brutálisan kivégezték. A trónfosztás fő támogatója Musztafa szultán anyja, Halime szultána volt. Egyesek szerint a háttérből Köszem is támogatta a szultánát. Erre nincs bizonyíték, ám meglehetősen logikusnak tűnik a feltételezés.

Oszmán meggyilkolása után, újra Musztafa és anyja, Halime uralkodtak. Musztafa szultán második szultánátusa sem volt sikeresebb azonban, mint az első. Az államférfiak és a nép nem tudták megbocsátani Oszmán brutális kivégzését, így Musztafát újra trónfosztották és 1623-ban eljött Köszem ideje.

A régens

Musztafa trónfosztása után az alig 11 éves Murad hercegből lett az új szultán, IV. Murad néven. Azonban ifjú korára való tekintettel helyette édesanyja, Köszem szultána lett a régens. A nagyvezírrel folytatott levelezéseiből kitűnik, hogy Köszem úgy kívánt uralkodni régensként, hogy minden eseményre elkíséri fiát, így a divan audiencia termében is megjelenik vele. Ezen kérését a vezír elé is tárta, aki viszont ezt nem engedte meg a szultánának a hagyományokra hivatkozva és kérve kérte, hogy felejtse el ezt. Köszem ekkor még beleegyezett ebbe és a háttérből munkálkodott. Minden ekkori követi beszámoló Köszemről dicsénekeket zeng. Kiemelik, hogy egyáltalán nem olyan, mint I. Musztafa édesanyja, hiszen okos, jól ért a politikához, bölcs és megfontolt asszony, aki már Ahmed életében bizonyította mennyire erős szellem lakik benne.

Annyi fájdalommal a háta mögött Köszem Murad trónralépésével, végre újra találkozhatott fiaival és úgy hihette, életük végre nyugodtabb mederben folytatódik majd tovább. Köszem és fiai majd hat éven keresztül nem élhettek együtt, feltehetőleg csak ünnepek során találkozhattak egymással. Ez minden bizonnyal kihatott kapcsolatára fiaival. Murad nehezen kezelhető gyermek volt, Köszem több levele is fennmaradt, melyekben a nagyvezírnek panaszkodik arról, mennyire nem bír Muraddal és, hogy az mennyire nem hallgat rá, sőt olykor napokig találkozni sem hajlandó vele. Amellett, hogy az elszigeteltség éket vert közéjük, hasonló személyiségük sem segített sokat. Mind a ketten vezéregyéniségek voltak, igen erős akarattal, így nehezen jöttek ki egymással. Sokszor vitatkoztak egymással, mely viták után Köszem volt az, aki békülni szeretett volna Muraddal. Egyik nagy veszekedésük után például egy lovat ajándékozott fiának, máskor hatalmas ünnepséget rendezett neki. Emellett Köszem rendszeresen fejezte ki aggodalmát Murad egészségével kapcsolatban, ami arra enged következtetni, hogy talán Murad már ekkor egészségügyi problémákkal küzdött, apjához hasonlóan.

Köszem bár igen hosszan uralkodott, régensségéről szinte alig maradt fenn információ. Annyi bizonyos, hogy Köszem élete során mindig élvezte a janicsárok támogatását. Államférfiak jöttek, mentek a janicsárok azonban mindig mellette álltak. Miért? Köszem egy biztos pontnak tűnt a zavaros időkben, emellett, mert egy kényes kérdésben Murad trónralépése után azonnal a janicsárok mellé állt. Minden trónralépéskor a szultán jusst oszt szét a katonái között, mely évszázados hagyományt az államférfiak Murad trónralépésekor nem akartak teljesíteni. Úgy vélték, hogy az elmúlt néhány évben túl sokszor is fizették meg ezt a díjat, tekintettel arra, hogy a szultánok sorra váltották egymást. Köszem azonban nem engedett ebből, és kifizette a janicsárok jussát. Ők pedig ezt - és minden bizonnyal a később hozzájuk eljuttatott pénzeket - meghálálva a szultána oldalán álltak mindvégig.

Köszem pontos döntéseiről kevés maradt fenn. Fent maradt levelei, levélrészletei egyértelműsítik számunkra, hogy szorosan együttműködött a pasákkal és a döntéseket közösen vitatták meg. A vezető pasák direkt neki írták leveleiket, ami szintén bizonyítja, hogy minden szál Köszem kezében futott össze. Lényegében ténylegesen fia helyett, nem pedig fia mellett kormányzott.

A birodalom Ahmed halálától kezdve fokozatosan süllyedt bele az anarchiába, melyet az egyébként meglehetősen jól uralkodó Köszem sem tudott megakadályozni. Több fontos területet is elveszítettek és hiába próbálták visszahódítani ezeket, nem jártak sikerrel. Továbbá a II. Oszmán kivégzése után fellázadó Abaza Mehmed Pasa dacára annak, hogy mindenkit felelősségre vontak a gyilkosságért, nem volt hajlandó elismerni Muradot új uralkodójaként és folytatta a lázadást. Ezt sem sikerült leverni az ellene kiküldött pasáknak. Hogy tovább rontsa a helyzetet 1625-ben pestis tört ki a fővárosban és több, mint százezer áldozattal járt. 1628-ban aztán Murad is súlyos beteg lett, hetekig feküdt ágyban. Pontos betegsége nem derült ki, egyesek szerint ekkor kezdődött epilepsziája. Öröm volt az ürömben, hogy legalább ebben az évben sikerült leverni Abaza Mehmed Pasa lázadását és elfogni a férfit.

Köszem lehetőségeihez mérten igyekezett fenntartani a birodalom békéjét, ennek érdekében pedig bizonyos dolgok felett kénytelen volt szemet hunyni. Ilyen volt például az egyre terjedő korrupció. Ez sok vitát generált közte és fia között. Muradnak ugyanis sajátos elképzelései voltak az uralkodásról, példaképének I. Szelimet tekintette, aki saját kezében tartott mindent és vasszigorral uralkodott a birodalmon. Emellett Köszem maga is nagy előnyökhöz juttatta az általa favorizált pasákat, ami sokakból váltott ki ellenérzéseket. Így került például fontos janicsár pozícióba veje, Fatma szultána férje, Hafiz Ahmed Pasa. Ez azonban a Köszemet szerető janicsároknak is sok volt.

A valide szultána

1632-ben, Hafiz Ahmed Pasa kinevezése után janicsár lázadás történt, melynek során a lázadók kivégezték a nagyvezírt és Murad szultán közeli barátját, Musa Çelebit. Ennek következtében 1632 májusában Murad saját kezébe vette az irányítást és lemondatta édesanyját a régensi pozícióból és maga kezdett uralkodni. Köszem nem ellenkezett, félreállt, azonban igyekezett volna segíteni fiát, utat mutatni neki. Murad ezt nem értékelte a legkevésbé sem és nem hallgatott édesanyja tanácsaira. Murad kényszeresen igyekezett anyját távol tartani a politikától és cselekedeteiből egyértelműen kiolvasható, hogy zavarta őt anyja nagy befolyása, az, hogy az elmúlt években sokkal nagyobb hatalma volt anyjának, mint neki a szultánnak. Épp ezért, amint a hatalmat saját irányítása alá vonta, Murad igyekezett anyja embereit - így például saját sógorát, a már említett Hafiz Ahmed Pasát - sorra leváltani, hogy édesanyja befolyása alól kivonva magát, elkezdhesse egyeduralmát. Kettejük viszonyát valószínűleg az 1632-es janicsár lázadás bélyegezte meg örökre és emiatt nem tudtak közelebb kerülni egymáshoz később sem. Köszem Murad uralkodásának éveiben így lényegében csak mint valide szultána működött, a háremet igazgatta és jótékony projektjeivel foglalkozott.

Köszemnek jó érzéke volt ahhoz, hogy megnyerje az embereket. Sokszor osztott szét adományt a rászorulók között, emellett évente ellátogatott a börtönökbe, ahol kiváltotta azokat, akik tartozás miatt ültek börtönben; segített a szegény családoknak kiházasítani a lányaikat; saját rabszolgáit két év szolgálat után felszabadította és gondoskodott kiházasításukról. Jótékonysága kétségtelen, azonban fontos megemlíteni azt is, hogy Köszem volt szolgálóit egyfajta kémként tekintette és a hozzá végletekig hűséges asszonyokon keresztül tartotta sakkban azok férjeit. Így tehát azon túl, hogy jó szívvel segített sokakon, bizonyos esetekben saját érdekeit is szolgálták ezek a jótékony cselekedetek. Ez egyébként egyáltalán nem volt ritka, minden más szultána is használta ezeket a házasságkötéseket, hogy saját érdekeit szolgálja.

Köszem minden bizonnyal aggódott fia miatt, Murad ugyanis nagyon megosztotta a népet. Hosszú évek után ő volt az első szultán, aki sikeres hadjáratot vezetett, amiért a nép szerette. Ugyanakkor túlzó kegyetlenséggel uralkodott, és álszent törvényeket hozott. Halállal büntette például azokat, akik az alkohol tilalmi rendelet ellenére ittak, miközben ő maga egyre jobban süllyedt bele az alkoholizmusba. Murad alkoholizmusa mellett minden bizonnyal paranoid volt és depressziós, köszönhetően gyermekkori traumáinak, valamint annak a ténynek, hogy fiai sorra haltak meg. Egyesek Köszemet hibáztatják Murad fiainak korai haláláért is, azonban nincs erre utaló bizonyíték. Evliya Çelebi írásaiban egyértelműsíti, hogy Murad minden fia betegen jött világra és emiatt haltak meg nemsokkal születésük után.

Köszem annak ellenére, hogy Murad nem igazán vette figyelembe javaslatait, soha nem adta fel és igyekezte támogatni gyermekét mindenben. Így például, mikor Murad távol volt Isztambultól alaposan beszámolt arról, ha valaki a meghagyott utasításait nemteljesítette. Így tett akkor is, mikor egy Murad által kiadott kivégzési parancsot nem akartak teljesíteni.

Murad dacára annak, hogy saját életét a testvérgyilkosság törvényének eltörlésének köszönhette, ő maga úgy döntött, hogy a régi rendszert kell visszahozni. Emiatt a sikeres revani hadjárata után 1635-ben kivégeztette két féltestvérét Bayezidet és Szulejmánt, három évvel később a bagdadi hadjárat után pedig édesöccsét, Kasim herceget. A legfiatalabb testvér Ibrahim életét csak a herceg zavart elméje és Köszem könyörgése mentette meg. Az a tény, hogy Murad minden testvérétől meg akart szabadulni két dologra utalhat. Vagy teljesen elveszítette józan ítélőképességét és a dinasztia végét akarta, vagy pedig volt legalább egy élő fia ebben az időszakban, aki előtt meg akarta tisztítani utat.

Második régenssége

Murad a bagdadi hadjárat során súlyos sérüléseket szenvedett, alkoholizmusa, az alkoholizmus okozta májzsugora és alapvető krónikus betegsége pedig tovább rontott a helyzeten. Egyesek szerint Murad haldoklása során parancsot adott Ibrahim kivégzésére is, Köszem azonban ezt megakadályozta. Akárhogyan is 1640 februárjában Murad szultán elhunyt a revani pavilonban, pont ott ahol nemsokkal korábban kivégeztette édesöccsét, Kasimot. Halálával a dinasztia egyetlen élő férfija pedig öccse, a mentálisan instabil Ibrahim volt. Ibrahim teljesen alkalmatlan volt az uralkodásra, nagybátyjához, I. Musztafához hasonlóan maga is mentális problémákkal küzdött. Azonban Musztafával ellentétben, Ibrahim nem visszamaradott volt, hanem paranoid őrült. Mikor közölték vele, hogy bátyja meghalt, nem hitte el, amíg saját maga nem vizsgálhatta meg bátyja holttestét. Ezután volt hajlandó csupán elfoglalni a trónt.

Ibrahim uralkodásának első éveiben Köszem szultána jól tudta kezelni a szultánt és háremhölgyekkel foglalta le, ő maga pedig a nagyvezírrel, Kemankeş Kara Mustafa Pasával oldalán uralkodott fia helyett. Bár Köszem és Kemankeş Kara Mustafa Pasa nem voltak jóban, sőt állandóan rivalizáltak egymással, a birodalom érdekében mégis kiválóan uralkodtak együtt. Ez a régensi időszak könnyebb lehetett, mint az előző, a birodalom ugyanis relatív nyugalomban volt, Köszem pedig tapasztalt, érett asszonyként könnyűszerrel irányított. Az államügyek mellett igyekezett a hárem ügyeit is minden szempontból felügyelni. Így került például összetűzésbe IV. Murad Haszekijével, Ayşéval is. Ayşe lányát, Esmehan Kayát szerette volna ahhoz a Silahdar Mustafa Pasához nőül adni, akinek még Murad ígérte oda a lányt. Köszem azonban saját emberei közül szemelt ki valakit Kaye férjéül. A két nő vitája igen messzire ment és maga Kaya sem akart Köszem választottjához feleségül menni, ám Köszem nem engedett és 1644-ben hozzákényszerítette - egyébként kedvenc - unokáját az igen öreg Melek Ahmed Pasához.

Idővel Ibrahim egy bizonyos Cici Hoca befolyása alá került és fellázadt anyja uralma ellen. Cinci Hoca okkult tudományokkal foglalkozó vallási vezető volt, aki kihasználta a szultán mentális problémáit. Ennek az lett az eredménye, hogy a szultán 1644-ben a nagyvezírét kivégeztette, édesanyját pedig száműzte. Eredetileg Rodosz szigetére szándékozta küldeni anyját, de végül ágyasai meggyőzték, hogy csak egy másik palotába küldje. Köszem elkövetkezendő éveit ott töltötte száműzetésben, ám ezalatt az idő alatt is rendszeresen levelezett az államférfiakkal és igyekezett kézben tartani mindent. Valószínűleg itt írta meg jól ismert levelét is Hezarpare Ahmed Pasának, mely így szólt: "Végül sem titeket, sem engem nem hagyna életben és újra elveszítenénk az uralmat az állam felett, ezzel pedig lerombolnánk társadalmunkat." Ibrahim és Köszem viszonya olyannyira megromlott, hogy Ibrahim minden áron büntetni akarta édesanyját. Ennek érdekében Köszem összes életben lévő lányát, Ayşét, Fatmát, Hanzadét és kedvenc unokáját, Esmehan Kayát is megfosztotta minden vagyonuktól és arra kényszerítette őket, hogy új feleségét szolgálják.

Ibrahim őrült uralma egyre többeket veszélyeztett. A szultán szinte minden ok nélkül végeztetett ki embereket, és teljesen alkalmatlanoknak adott magas beosztást. Odáig fajult a helyzet, hogy 1647-ben Köszem szultána és az új nagyvezír, Salih Pasa és a Seyhülislam Abdürrahim Efendi megpróbálták trónfosztani Ibrahimot, azonban lebuktak. A következő évben a janicsárok és az ulema is csatlakozott a lázadáshoz és 1648 augusztus 8-án könnyűszerrel trónfosztották és bebörtönözték az őrült szultánt, követőit pedig eltávoltották a pozíciókból. Ibrahim szultán sorsáról is hamarosan dönteniük kellett, azonban ez nem volt egyszerű. Korábban már volt egy őrült szultán, akit trónfosztása után egyszerűen csak elzártak, erre Ibrahim esetében is lehetett volna tehát lehetőség. Ibrahim azonban túl sokaknak okozott fájdalmat, túl sokakat végeztetett ki és egyszerűen túl sok támogatója volt ahhoz, hogy életben hagyják.

A megtört anya

Mindenki Ibrahim szultán kivégzését követelte. Köszem szultána találkozott a Topkapi Palotában az államférfiakkal, hogy megvitassa velük mi legyen Ibrahim sorsa. Órákon át tárgyaltak, Köszem azonban végig megtagadta, hogy kiadja Ibrahim legidősebb fiát, Mehmedet. Így pedig nem lehetett őt kikiáltani szultánnak. Végül az államférfiak meggyőzték Köszemet, aki bár igyekezett ellenállni, idővel kénytelen volt belátni, hogy fia potenciális veszélyt jelent mindenkire: őrá, gyermekeire, államférfiakra, katonákra, az egész birodalomra. Köszemnek nem volt sok választása, mint beleegyezni fia kivégzésébe, mégis sokan elítéleik ezen döntése miatt. Be kell azonban látnunk, hogy bármit tett vagy mondott volna Köszem, Ibrahimot mindenképpen kivégezték volna. Köszem azonban ezzel a döntésével az birodalom érdekeit nézte. Hasonló döntés volt ez, mint I. Szulejmán esetében Musztafa herceg kivégeztetése. Egy igazi uralkodó nem csak apa vagy anya gyermekei számára, hanem azok felettese is. 1648. augusztus 18-án Ibrahim szultánt kivégezték, helyette legidősebb fiát, IV. Mehmedet tették meg uralkodónak.

Bár Köszem döntése logikus volt és a birodalom számára az egyetlen jó döntés, mégis úgy tűnik, ő maga belerokkant a döntés súlyába. Ibrahim kivégzése után közölte visszavonulását a Régi Palotába, az államférfiak azonban nem engedték meg neki, hogy hátalévő éveiben fiait gyászolva éljen visszavonultan. Meggyőzték a szultánát arról, hogy a birodalomnak szüksége van rá, mint régens, még egyszer, utoljára. IV. Mehmed ugyanis csupán 7 éves volt ekkor, édesanyja pedig huszas évei elején járt, túl fiatal volt, hogy ellássa a régensi feladatokat. Köszem elfogadta a felkérést és újra ő lett a birodalom régense. Cselekedeteiből és a személyiségén beálló változásokból arra következtethetünk, hogy rögesztméjévé vált, hogy ő az egyetlen, aki képes rendesen uralni a birodalmat. Az őt ért tragédiák után talán nem is meglepő egy ilyen fajta mentális probléma felbukkanása.

A diktátor

Bár az államférfiak maguk kérték fel Köszemet az uralkodásra, idővel rá kellett jöjjenek, hogy ez a Köszem szultána nem az az asszony, akivel korábban már kétszer együtt uralkodtak. Mindemellett ők azt várták Köszemtől, hogy tanítsa meg Turhan Hatice Szultánát és a kis Mehmed szultánt arra, hogyan kell megfelelően kezelni a politikai ügyeket. Tehát egyfajta betanítást vártak volna Köszemtől, ő azonban maga kívánt dönteni mindenben, a neki ellentmondó államférfiakat leváltatta.

Köszem jogát az uralkodáshoz egyre többen kezdték el vitatni, egyik ilyen divan vita során hangzott el a jól ismert beszéde is. Ekkor Köszem megvádolta a nagyvezír Sofu Ahmed Pasát azzal, hogy meg akarta őt öletni, majd így folytatta: "Istennek hála négy uralkodót láttam és én magam is hosszú ideig uralkodtam. A világ nem fog sem összeomlani sem megreformálódni a halálommal."  Bár beszédéből az tűnik ki, hogy saját befolyását és fontosságát igyekezett minimalizálni, tette nem erről árulkodnak. Ugyanezen divan ülésen Köszem leszidta Karaçelebizade Abdülaziz Efendit, amiért az nem teljesítette a szultán által kiadott parancsot azonnal, hanem azt kérdezte a szultántól, hogy "kedvesem, ki tanított téged arra, hogy ilyeneket mondj?". Köszem szerint elfogadhatatlan ilyen lekicsinylő beszéd a szultán irányába és egyébként is, honnan gondolta Karaçelebizade Abdülaziz Efendi, hogy nem a szultán maga találta ki, amit mondott?! Egyértelmű tehát, hogy Mehmed szultánt mindenki egyfajta játékszernek tekintette. Köszem a saját bábjaként használta a gyermeket, ellenfelei pedig pontosan felismerték ezt, ezért száltak szembe olykor a szultánon keresztül érkező szavaival.

Emellett a háremben is semmibe vette IV. Mehmed édesanyját, Turhan Haticét. A neki járó alapvető tiszteletet sem adta meg, nem hagyta, hogy a fiatal nő bármit is kézben tarthasson vagy valide szultánaként a háremet uralhassa, Turhan azonban nem hagyta magát. A hárem tulajdonképpen két oldalra szakadt, Köszem és Turhan Hatice támogatóira. Mind a két oldalnak megvolt a saját főeunuchja, ami hatalmas káoszt okozott a háremen belül, azonban a befolyásosabb eunuch, Szulejmán Aga Turhan pártját fogta. Sokat mondó, hogy még így sem voltak képesek legyűrni Köszemet a háremen belül. Az emberek nem tudták, kinek az utasításait kövessék. És bár a valide szultána titulus a szultán anyjaként Turhan Haticét illette meg, a kötnyelv csak "kis valide"-ként hivatkozott rá, míg Köszem volt a "nagy valide". Köszem emellett a valide szultánának járó 3000 asperes napi fizetést is megtartotta magának, Turhannak csak napi 2000 asperes fizetést engedélyezett.

Az elkerülhetetlen vég

Idővel a viszály Köszem és az államférfiak között odáig fajtult, hogy Turhan Hatice támogatásával az államférfiak megpróbálták Köszemet eltávolítani pozíciójából. Köszem válaszul erre pedig azt tervezte, hogy trónfosztja IV. Mehmed szultánt és helyette másik unokáját ülteti a trónra. Ehhez a janicsárokat be kívánta engedni a palotába, hogy azok az éj leple alatt elvgezzék a puccsot, emiatt nyitva hagyatta éjszakára a hárem bejáratát. Köszem terve azonban ellenségei fülébe jutott, egyesek szerint egy Meleki nevű szolgáló által. Mások szerint Köszem nem akarta trónfosztani és kivégeztetni Mehmedet, csak rá akart ijeszteni, megint mások szerint Köszem nem tervezett semmit, ellenségeinek egyszerűen csak elegük lett belőle és kitaláltak egy történetet, ami igazolja Köszem elleni lázadásukat. A legismertebb és legtöbb támogatóval rendelkező történet azonban továbbra is az, hogy Köszem trónfosztani akarta Mehmedet, így ezen a vonalon haladok tovább.

Így amint Köszem emberei 1651. szeptember 2-án, kinyitották a kaput, Turhan Hatice emberei, a főeunuch Uzun Szulejmán Aga vezetésével bezáratták azt és kivégzőosztagot küldtek Köszem szultána lakrészébe. Turhan lényegében a janicsárok fő alakulatain kívül minden létező államférfi, sőt még a szpáhik támogatását is élvezte az események során. Emberei Köszem lakrészéhez érve bekopogtak az ajtón, Köszem azt hitte, hogy saját emberei jöttek, ezért kikiabált nekik, hogy "Megjöttetek?". Erre azonban a janicsárok hangja helyett Köszem az eunuch Szulejmán Aga hangját hallotta meg, amitől bepáikolt és menekülni kezdett. Nem pontosan tudni, hogy hogy jutott ki lakrészéből vagy ki jutott e egyáltalán, mert a leírások nem egyeznek. Egyesek szerint lakrészén belül bújt el egy szekrényben, mások szerint megpróbált kijutni a janicsárokhoz, azonban a zárt kapun keresztül nem tudott, így végül a kapu melletti szobában bújt el. Menekülése során néhány ágyas is próbált segítségére sietni és elállták a kivégzőosztag útját, egy idősebb nő pedig azt kiabálta, hogy Ő Köszem szultána, hogy ezzel nyerjen időt neki. Hiába próbálkozott, ugyanis bár a kivégzők nem ismerték Köszem arcát, Szulejmán Aga igen, így gyorsan folytatták útjukat Köszem után.

Akárhol is, de végül Köszem egy szekrényben rejtőzött el, melyből ruhájának széle kilógott, ezzel felfedve rejtekhelyét. Amikor megtalálták, kivégzői elé pénzt dobott, ezzel próbálva lefizetni őket, ám esélye sem volt Turhan hű embereivel szemben. A legenda szerint a férfiak próbálták lefogni a validét, miközben füléből kitépték gyémánt fülbevalóit, melyeket Ahmed szultántól kapott; ruháját is megtépkedték, ahogy próbálták leszedni róla az értékes díszeket. Köszem túl a hatvanon is erősen ellenállt kivégzőinek, ám végül felülkerekedtek rajta. Egyesek szerint saját hajával, mások szerint egy függönnyel fojtották meg. Az első fojtogatási kísérlet után még magához tért, a másodikat azonban már nem élte túl. Nem tudni, hogy ki volt aki úgy döntött, Köszem szultánának meg kell halnia. Úgy tűnhet, hogy a kivégzés jogszerűen zajlott le, a Seyhülislam fetwája alapján. Azonban az időbeliséget kissé megzavarja a tény, hogy a régi Seyhülislamot ugyanakkor váltották le Turhan egyik megbízható emberére, mikor a kivégzés zajlott. Épp emiatt, és a kivégzés szokásostól eltérő brutalitása miatt, felmerülhet annak a lehetősége is, hogy talán Köszem kivégzése nem volt eredetileg eltervezve, csupán menet közben csúszott ki az irányítás Turhan kezéből és a pillanat hevében az őrök kivégezték Köszemet. Utólag pedig, hogy legalizálják az eseményeket gyártattak egy fetwát az új Seyhülislámmal.

Hogy megakadályozzanak bármiféle ellenállást, Turhan Hatice és emberei az éjszaka folyamán minden olyan államférfit eltávolítottak posztjáról, aki veszélyeztette volna őket. Aki pedig ellenállt, azt fetwával kényszerítették a behódolásra. Végül sikerrel elérték, hogy helyettük a janicsárokat hibáztassa a nép Köszem kivégzéséért, így végül őket bűnbaknak kikiáltva, Köszem fő támogatóit, a janicsárok  vezetőit végezték csupán ki.

Emlékezete

Köszemet szeptember 3-án temették el Ahmed szultán komplexumában, szeretett szultánja mellé. Köszem szultána halála után a palota nem adott ki hivatalos rendelkezést a gyászról. Isztambul nép magától döntött úgy, hogy három napra bezárnak minden üzletet, hogy kifejezzék tiszteletüket az elhunyt iránt. Köszem szultánát nagyon sokan szerették jótékonyságai miatt, azonban a tény, hogy Turhan Hatice iránt sem viseltetett a nép rossz érzéssel, sőt őt is szerették, arra utal, hogy nem hibáztatták őt Köszem haláláért.

Köszem tekinthető az utolsó klasszikus Haszeki szultánának és az egyetlen valide szultánának, aki háromszor is régensként tevékenykedett, három különböző szultán mellett. Összesen 27 évig és 11 hónapig volt Valide Szultána, ami az Oszmán Birodalom validéi között a harmadik leghosszabb uralkodási idő. Élete során rengeteget jótékonykodott elképesztő vagyonából és bár építtetett egy kisebb komplexumot, elődeihez képest keveset költött építkezésekre. Inkább kisebb, kevésbé látványos módon igyekezett segíteni a rászorulókat. Egyes beszámolók szerint odáig ment adakozásaival, hogy amikor túlköltekezte magát és hiába kért fiától segítséget, ékszereit adta el, hogy fedezni tudja, amit eltervezett.

Ő szinte az egyetlen szultána akit ha jellemeztek a korabeli követek nem szépségét hangsúlyozták elsődlegesen, hanem intelligenciáját, megfontoltságát és erejét. Köszem volt az a szultána, aki a legmagasabbra tört, aki sokáig lehetett a csúcson, azonban a nagy magasságból zuhant végül alá és vált az egyetlen meggyilkolt valide szultánává.

Kösem Szultana élete során több címet is kapott: Naib-i Sultanat (az Oszmán Birodalom régense), Umin al-Mu'minin (minden muszlimok anyja), Büyük Valide Sultan (nagy valide szultána), Valide-i Sehide (a mártír anya), Valide-i Maktule (a meggyilkolt anya), Valide-i Muazzama (a csodálatos anya).

Felhasznált források: : Ö. Kumrular - Kösem Sultan: iktidar, hırs, entrika; C. Finkel - Osman’s Dream: the History of the Ottoman Empire, L. Peirce - The Imperial Harem; M. P. Pedani - Relazioni inedite; N. Sakaoğlu - Bu Mülkün Kadın Sultanları; B. Tezcan - Searching for Osman: A Reassessment of the Deposition of the Ottoman Sultan Osman II (1618-1622);  Y. Öztuna - Sultan Genç Osman ve Sultan IV. Murad; G. Börekçi - Factions and Favorites at the Courts of Sultan Ahmed I and His Immediate Predecessors; F. Davis - The Palace of Topkapi in Istanbul; G. Börekçi - A Queen Mother at Work: On Handan Sultan and Her Regency during the Early Reign of Ahmed I; . Faroqhi - The Ottoman Empire and the World; C. Imber - The Ottoman Empire 1300-1650; F. Suraiya, K. Fleet - The Cambridge History of Turkey 1453-1603; G. Piterberg - An Ottoman Tragedy, History and Historiography at Play; F. Suraiya - The Cambridge History of Turkey, The Later Ottoman Empire, 1603–1839; Ö. Düzbakar - Charitable Women And Their Pious Foundations In The Ottoman

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 107

Happy Tuesday, time for a new chapter!

Writing author’s notes three weeks in advance is hard, I am realizing.  However I am reasonably sure if I wait to write this note, I will forget, because Tuesdays are insane at work.

So, quickly: shout out to @baelpenrose​ for being my beta, as always. Also, thank you to @charlylimph-blog​ and @zommbiebro​, for the characters in this chapter.

I hope you all enjoy!!

I had to admit, as I laughed at Charly’s face when she stole a bite of my food, that Huynh - and therefore Jokul - had a point about eating in the cafeteria/mess regularly. Today, I had taken a page out of his book, and decided on my lunch based on what someone else was eating that looked good when I walked in.  No matter how the dish ended up being, the smile on the face of a random stranger when I stopped and told them their food looked good, along with asking if I could get some from the console, made my day.

Which was good, because it was the oddest fish pie I had ever eaten. In general, I neither hated nor loved fish pie - I needed to either have a request or a craving to make it, usually. However, when I originally saw it as I entered the mess, I saw flaky crust, meat, veggies, and a creamy sauce and called it a winner. I don’t think Charly was expecting seafood in general when she took a bite, and I certainly hadn’t been expecting scallops, even knowing I had gotten fish pie.

“That’s… that’s fish!” she sputtered, glaring at me in betrayal.

“It’s actually scallops,” I corrected, no less perplexed for that fact. “I was expecting mackerel and cod, or haddock. That’s what Conor always asks me to make, anyway.”

“But it’s fish,” she insisted. “I thought it would be chicken.”

“It’s not bad,” I admitted, taking another bite. “Just caught me off guard.”

Shaking her head and scowling, she got up to get her own food, returning with an actual chicken pot pie. Just as she was hooking her arm around it protectively - either protecting it from me or from my lunch, who knew - a pillar of grey and silver stalked up to the table before plopping down miserably. 

Now holding her pie over her head - to avoid being flanked? - Charly stared down, eyes wide. “Mr. Bjornson?” she asked, bewildered.

Craning my neck, I realized she had a point, although the hair was somewhat dishevelled and the robes were wrinkled beyond anything I had seen him wearing previously.  Not even Conor or I would wear clothes that creased, honestly. Hesitantly, I poked at him. “Did you just decide to die in front of my food?” I asked, skeptical. “Last time you interrupted my lunch, you were being kidnapped.”

Alarmingly, Jokul sat up, eyes red, sniffling back tears. “He won’t talk to me…”

Both Charly and I jerked back, surprised. Recovering faster, I carefully ventured a question. “You mean Ivan?”

Rather than answer out loud, Jokul gave a bigger sniff and nodded emphatically.

I was so not prepared to have this conversation, but I tried anyway. “Is everything… I guess, okay, for lack of a better term?”

“He works so much,” came the plaintive response. “He’s so tired all the time, and I’m trying to adjust to everyone looking at me funny and…” He stopped, tears rolling again, biting his lip in what looked like an effort to gain control.

“And?” Charly asked, setting her lunch down and carefully reaching to put a hand on his forearm.

“AndIdonthaveanyoneelsetotalktonowbecauseIrealizedIdontactuallyhaveany friennnnnnnds,” he blurted out quietly, the last part on a barely-constrained sob. I had to give him credit for trying to draw as little attention as possible while talking about something that was clearly a difficult subject.

“Oh, that’s bullshit,” Charly sighed softly, shaking her head. “Right, Sophia?”

I rocked my head a bit, thinking about it. “I mean…. I don’t know about friends, per se - “ Charly glared and kicked me hard enough to drive the breath out of me. “Hey! Cut me some slack?”

“I’m the one who got the punch,” she scolded, stroking his hair and carefully detangling it.

Fair. “Earning friendships may take some time,” I admitted. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to anyone about what’s going on, you know.”

“Who, Councillor?” he demanded sadly. “Who do I have to talk to?”

“Well, you clearly thought I was a good idea - Ow, Charly!”  Rubbing my shin, I continued. “Like I was saying, though. It kind of depends on what it is you want to talk about. If it’s struggling to come back from a negative public image… Simon, hands down, is the best person for that.”

Thankfully, Jokul went from looking despondent to confused. “Simon Rodriguez?”

Charly and I both nodded hard enough to pop our necks. “He was a complete ass when I boarded. I actually tried to kill him, and so did Tyche.  He can tell you the details, but in the end, he made the effort to be a better neighbor, and now he’s an amazing educator whose students adore him.”

“Arthur Farro was a warlord, however,” Jokul tried to object. “Would he not be a better source of insight?”

“Absolutely not,” Charly responded before I could draw a breath, shooting the idea down instantly. “Mr. Farro doesn’t care what other people think of him, beyond making sure they aren’t trying to kill him too actively.  He adheres to social etiquette in most cases, but it’s not for his own sake, more for the sake of those associated with him. Does he care if he’s trustworthy? Absolutely. Likeable…...” She winced as she trailed off, hand tipping in an ‘eh’ gesture.

“Which is why he wasn’t bothered in the least when you wanted a fight,” I pointed out, trying to draw the points together. “Whereas Simon didn’t realize how poorly people thought of him, and as soon as he did, he took steps to change it, even when it was hard. So definitely start there if you need guidance.”

“I will endeavor to do so,” Jokul nodded before his expression dropped again. “But what about Ivan?”

“There is nothing about him being tired that makes his ears malfunction,” I heard myself say. What? Why? Why was I doing this? “No matter how tired I am, my ear still works, and I can still listen to Conor and Maverick about their days. And sometimes that’s all that’s needed.  Mutual bitching about a bad day is… pretty normal, actual.”

He sat up, paling, with a horrified expression on his face. “Oh dear gods, how do you manage two?!”

Charly and I traded glances of confusion before looking back at the distraught man who was slowly inching fingers toward my fish pie. I nodded to Charly, who wrinkled her nose and got up to grab him some food, while I addressed the former cult leader. “It’s usually easier than just one,” I confessed. “If one of us is too tired or sick, there’s always someone who can pinch hit.” I wasn’t about to admit that it was also made easier by the massive family I had acquired during my time on the Ark. That was the last thing he needed to hear. Softening slightly, I tilted my head and placed my hand on his arm. “Jokul, do you really not have any friends, anymore? What about… the ginger kid. I never got his name.”

“William,” Jokul spat with more force than I had seen since the day we met, catching me completely off guard. “A sycophant. He almost immediately asked what my plans were to continue forward with ‘our plans’.” The air quotes were a nice touch, but his face was nothing but sour. “I had to report him to Councillor Kalloe,” he confessed, face falling into a frown.

“Oh, wow,” I murmured. “Okay then. We need to figure out how you can meet other people, I think.” I was barely able to resist the urge to hit myself in the face. We? Why was this a we thing all of a sudden?

Thankfully, Charly came back, nose wrinkled at a second portion of fish pie. As Jokul dug into it, she perked up slightly. “The Undine! They have cultural events all the time!  And! Andandandandand,” she started bouncing in her seat with each syllable. “Ivan loves those events. Not only does he drum up a lot of work, but he also loves meeting new people! You can do a date thing!”

That was, by far, the most harmless suggestion Charly could have made, and I made a mental note to send her a candy-basket at some point. “Plus, if Ivan is there, Zach and Hannah should be, too. You met them, right?”

“Did I?”

I managed not to roll my eyes as I reminded him. “The couple that were talking to Ivan the day you, um… met him?”

“Oh!” he exclaimed, sitting up straighter. “He mentioned they were friends of his!”

“Lord bless it,” I laughed. “Those two are probably his closest friends, honestly.  So, something like that would be both a chance to make friends and something you can do with Ivan!” And something that does not require me to adopt someone who recently did his best to be a pain in my ass. 

“And you said I can still just… talk, to Ivan, when he’s too tired to do anything else?”

“Yes?” I confirmed, slightly bewildered. “He still cares, I would think.  Keep in mind, he does manual labor for a living, by choice.  If he’s too tired to move, he is probably physically incapable of moving.  It would be like Conor coming home, showering, and flopping on the couch.  Good luck moving him, just grab him a pillow and blanket.”

Jokul arched an eyebrow at me, recovering something resembling his former ego. “I am quite capable of carrying Ivan to a proper bed, thank you.” His face abruptly softened. “I’m just new at… this…” he waved his hand vaguely. “Relationships, during a time of peace, I suppose.”

Huh. That never occurred to me, actually. “Hang on,” I thought out loud. “Have you had any portion of this conversation,” I frantically pointed between the three of us, “with Ivan?”

“Not.. yet?” came the sheepish response.

“Sir!” I sputtered. “If you do not go home right now - take your pie with you! - and talk to your poor…. Partner, boyfriend, whatever. If you don’t talk to Ivan, I will give Arthur permission to re-administer the ass-whooping and deal with Ivan later over it!”

Rather than being offended, Jokul seemed to take the admonishment for what it was, and dashed off.  Charly, breathless with laughter, managed to recover just enough to give me the stink eye. “Did you just give solid advice to your adversary?”

“I won! Sort of,” I argued. “Besides, anyone that upset about a romantic relationship deserves some kind of slack, right?”

“Were you really going to sic Mr. Farro on him?”

I groaned, burying my head in my hands. “The less he knows about this entire interaction, the better. I’ll never hear the end of it.” And then, just as if my day could not possibly get any better, I heard a familiar, dry voice snark from behind me. 

“The less I know about what the better?”

Oh, hell.

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[colorseeingchick]

Hello, colorseeingchick, I hope you’re having a nice day, and congrats on reaching 200 followers! I wanted to say I really like your Kuroko no Basket posts. I was recently looking for some small fanfics of Kuroko no Basket and I am glad I’ve found yours. I am also looking forward to reading your “Oh! Baby Series” of Tsukishima.

For the 200 Follower event, I would like to request a Kuroko no Basket matchup. I’d prefer to be matched with a male and my pronouns are she/her. I am currently 16 years old, I have brown skin and dark brown eyes. My hair is a dark brown color(almost black), very curly, and it reaches toward my mid-back. I’m 5’2” in height and I am an Aquarius(For Midorima).

I usually like to watch anime and read in my free time. I really love chocolate and exercising. I dislike people that lie a lot, peanuts, peanut butter, pecans, almonds, avocados, and onions. My hobbies are writing, drawing, reading, watching tv, singing, and playing the Piano. I think I’m particularly talented at writing since everyone seems to like my writing very much and right now I’m practicing my creative writing skills.

Personality: When I first meet someone, I tend to be quiet and just observe everyone. If anyone comes up to me, I usually just introduce myself, and depending on who the person is I may strike up a conversation. If I don’t then the person that’s talking to me will usually make conversation and I will quietly listen. I would usually just nod or say things like (yea, right, mhm) to show that I am listening. If I begin to feel comfortable I will give my opinion on the subject or try to strike up my own topic. But once I get really comfortable with that person I can become very goofy. I’ll start randomly dancing in the hallways and make weird sounds when I’m with that person. And depending on the person this can either increase or decrease in weirdness. I’m very good at listening to people especially when it comes to a person talking about their passions. My friends and family tend to laugh at a few things I say. They’re never really jokes there just situations I’ve been in and Apparently, they’re funny. I don’t tend to touch people, the most I really do regularly is either is put my hand/elbow on the person’s shoulder(Doesn’t matter if they’re tall or short) or begin poking them in odd places.

Negative Things: If someone is sad or insecure about something, I don’t know how to react, I usually just stare at them while they cry to themselves. I would not suggest that any of my friends come to me for emotional support. Unless they just want someone to listen to them. I don’t know how to take compliments. Once someone compliments me I usually just stare at the person or say thank you very slowly.

Additional: Since me and my friends were in chorus, we would usually just begin singing our chorus songs very loudly. It didn’t matter where we were, we would just begin singing. There was a time where my friend called me super sweet because I was checking up on them during the pandemic. My friends also said I give the best presents and truthfully I struggle trying to find presents. I want to give my friends something they can use or they really like. For example, I gave my friend a drawing notebook and some art supplies since they like to do art. I’ve been told that I have a mean resting face and that I act more mature for my age. I also asked my friends to describe me and they said, “Beautifully, Creative, Loving, Silly, Writer, Fashionable, Pretty, Innocent, and Nice Hairstyles.”

I swear I don’t where they’re getting these nice compliments. Hopefully, this is not too long.

Hello noodleman!!!! This was perfect do not worry. They compliment you because you're amazing haha. I always see you in my notifications and it makes me so happy :) I’m very excited to do both your matchups! For KNB, I’ve matched you with…

Akashi Seijuro!

We all know Akashi is a powerful man who’s been through a lot. As a girlfriend, you would be the one to both compliment his power and balance out his emotional state, even if you don’t intend to. And that would be the source of the beauty of your relationship with him.

You were a student at Rakuzan who would mind her own business. Akashi was in your class (ranking at the top) for the new school year, and you two sat next to each other. Akashi (this is the OG Akashi- the nice one) would introduce himself to you, and you would do the same. You observed Akashi quietly. The way he was so put together. His calm demeanor. His pretty eyes and how they were keenly watching everything. You didn’t realize he was observing you as well. While you both were just normal acquaintances at that point, things were about to change.

One day, you heard Akashi talking about basketball next to you. You could hear how passionate he was about it from the way he talked. The person he was talking to walked away, but you couldn’t help but ask him about basketball. Watching him talk that way was so enticing.

He looked at you for a second before smiling kindly and asking, “would you like to learn about basketball?” From there, you two would have a very engaged conversation with Akashi fanboying in a way that was as classy as fanboying could get, while you were listening attentively. You had to leave for the end of the day, but you left with a smiling Akashi out the door of the classroom.

The next major interaction between you two happened a few days later. You were doodling in your notebook when you heard him speak. “You’re very talented at drawing.”

You smiled awkwardly at the compliment, unsure of how to respond, so you just looked at him. He didn’t mind though. He just smiled back. “If you draw again, I’d like to see.” He then left soon after.

While you didn’t doodle again, you decided that maybe you were comfortable around Akashi, more than you thought you were.

A major shift in your dynamic happened one day when you were writing down intensely into a journal, stopping only when your hand hurt, taking time to think about your next words when you felt a light tap on your arm.

“Excuse me, if you don’t mind me asking, what are you writing?” He genuinely looked interested, which caught you by surprise.

And so you explained the short story you were writing. Akashi asked questions about the characters, the plot, where you got the idea from- all sorts of things. You both didn’t realize everyone else had already emptied out. “If you would like to share your story with me sometime, I would love to read it. And if you’d like to come by and watch my basketball team play, let me know.”

He was surprisingly easy to talk to. And that was the point where you both got closer. As you got closer, talking and learning more about each other, you both started to fall bit by bit. You both had a long list of hobbies and talents, much of which overlapped. Akashi was mesmerized by your singing, though he knew you wouldn’t like to hear the compliment if he gave it to you. Instead, he just asked you to always sing and gave you his full attention when you did. It went without say he loved your writing. He was a talented musician himself, and you found his game pretty entertaining- the way he dominated on the court.

He asked you out after Rakuzan had taken a big victory before the winter cup. You’d come to watch the game.

“Will you celebrate with me?” He asked you.

“With your team?”

“No, actually.” He’d smile at you and step closer, but had not invaded your personal space. “I’d like to actually get some time with you, on a date.”

He was pleased you said yes. The date went well. He’d learned you were mature, which is what he was looking for in a partner. He already knew you were talented and a good listener. It wasn’t long before he asked you to be his girlfriend officially.

Your dynamic with Akashi was well tailored. Being the captain of Rakuzan, he had an image to maintain- one of power. And having a girlfriend who he knew to be intimidating as well (your resting face was intense) was a fitting situation. He knew you observed and listened well, which is why he could trust that you would be thoughtful- something that was also very important to him. You also cared for efficiency and purpose. But what he didn’t realize he needed so badly was your goofiness. After you two had gotten as close as you were, he learned how funny your stories were and saw you in your most comfortable states. He loved your fun goofy side. It helped him live a little, too. He enjoyed elbowing you back when you did it to him (it was the most innocent playful thing he’d done). It didn’t bother Akashi all that much that you didn’t know how to deal with other people being emotional. He wasn’t one to show negative emotions all that much and didn’t project that expectation onto you, which made it a bit easier. He knew that if he needed to talk it out and have someone listen, he could always go to you.

Overall you and Akashi managed to balance out on a lot of your ideologies, world views, hobbies, and life practices. While some were the same, others were different- but in a complimentary way. It’s quite a beautiful dynamic, really.

~~~

Ahhh I really hope you like it! Lemme know what you think hehe. I'm excited to do your MHA one too!

[glcssysky]

HAIKYUU HEADCANONS sfw alphabet - kuroo

A = AFFECTION (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?) kuroo is a very affectionate man, maybe a little too affectionate. he would constantly be holding you, touching you, kissing you. he loves you and wants everyone to know that. of course, if you clearly don't want to be touched, he won't do so.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

B = BEST FRIEND (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?) he would be very encouraging towards you. if you were struggling with something, or there was something you were unsure about doing, he would hella cheer you on for it. he would also make sure you are taking care of yourself; especially with eating, drinking and sleeping. it would probably start via him asking for help on the work or homework, and that would end up becoming a regular thing.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

C = CUDDLES (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?) 100% all the time. in public he would always have an arm around you, and would hug you from behind if you were both just standing somewhere. at home he would always be cradling you in a different way every time. as long as you were in his arms and he could see your face, he would be content.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

D = DOMESTIC (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?) almost a few weeks into the relationship, he would want to settle somewhere so it would only be you two on your own. he would try his best to keep the place clean, but would probably not succeed there. he would, however, be willing to cook you dinner every night, or order something in if he was feeling lazy that night.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

E = ENDING (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) straight up, this man would either approach you and say it straight up or text you. he would be a little sincere and make sure your okay and not too upset, but there isn't much he can do. it's how he felt.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

F = FIANCEE (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?) he could definitely become committed, if he tried. he isn't one to probably dive into engagement, but would perform the typical proposal at a fancy restaurant. it would take a LONG time to plan out the wedding, since he is not focused on that nor can he actually plan things properly. you would get round to it eventually though.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

G = GENTLE (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) he isn't very gentle. he will try to be though, especially when it comes to your emotions. usually, he wouldn't be a very good advice giver, but he would definitely let you let out your emotions to him for as long as you want or need to. he would give you physical comfort too, but may take it further on some occasions...

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

H = HUGS (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?) he LOVES hugs, as well as any other physical contact with you. he would hug you every chance he got. his embrace would be warm and tight. you would definitely feel safe, no doubt there. especially with him most likely being taller than you.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

I = I LOVE YOU (how fast do they say the l-word?) he said it before you were even together, in both a platonic way, and a joking, flirting way. however, when it came to you being together, he said he loves you as soon as you got together. you hear it at least three times a day, if not more.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

J = JEALOUSY (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?) extremely jealous. if you're with another person and acting close with them, he will be KIND OF alright , but the person you are with will keep getting a lot or glares from him. he'll find some way to tell the person in private to turn it down a notch because you are already his, and then continue to stand near you, most likely holding you.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

K = KISSES (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?) his lip to lip kisses are usually very passionate and soft, in public that is. they would last a couple of seconds, and then it would be up to the two of you to decide whether to carry on or not. his favourite place to kiss you is definitely the lips or the side of the neck. he makes that known. his favourite place to be kissed consists of the same, but mainly his lips.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

L = LITTLE ONE (how are they around children?) he tries his best to be good around them, but doesn't do too well. he puts himself TOO out there and can't seem to understand why some kids end up getting scared of him. he does, however, get asked for piggy back rides a lot, and compared to a cat by the children.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

M = MORNING (how are mornings spent with them?) he's more of a late sleeper, so you will wake up before him. usually, he would sleep in his confirmed way; on his stomach, pressing a pillow to either side of his head. when sleeping with you, he would be mostly on his stomach, but kind of on his side with an arm around you. he won't let you leave the bed until he is awake to actually let go of you.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

N = NIGHT (how are nights spent with them?) as well as waking up after you, he falls after you. he usually lies there, rubbing your shoulder, either telling you stories or complimenting you. he would lay by you until you fell asleep, kissing the back of your neck a few times before he too fell asleep.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

O = OPEN (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) he's pretty open in general, so you may know a lot about him himself already. however, his personal life, family etc, that will stay to himself for a WHILE. he prefers listening about you then telling you about himself, so it will definitely be a more slow approach at getting him to open up about his personal life.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

P = PATIENCE (how easily angered are they?) oh, he gets angry easily. he tries not too, but if someone is trying to get at you, or someone is doing something utterly stupid and annoying, he is automatically angry. he is quite easy to calm down though, so that's a relief.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

Q = QUIZZES (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) he would try his hardest, bless him, to remember everything he could about you, but he would struggle. he can remember the basics like your hobbies, interests and birthday. but he may sometimes forget events until like a day before, and small things you show like or dislike towards will completely go over his head.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

R = REMEMBER (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?) your one year anniversary. as messy as it may be with the last minute planning, you both had an amazing time. it might not have been what a typical one year anniversary ends up being, but neither of you cared. it was YOUR anniversary, and you enjoyed it.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

S = SECURITY (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?) EXTREMELY protective. if someone is hurting you, he is straight away getting them away and threatening to fight them, of which you would have to get him away before he ends up getting hurt. he wouldn't need any kind of protecting himself aside from stopping him from getting into situations that he will end up hurt in.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

T = TRY (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) like already mentioned, he will probably forget about things like this until the day before,of which he would try to spend the whole day planning.  they wouldn't be the best quality days out, but they would be unique to you two, and that was enough.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

U = UGLY (what would be some bad habits of theirs?) his lack of maintaining his hair, his tendency to get overprotective and jealous, pestering. as already shown in the anime and manga itself, he walks around with his natural bed hair. he just needs to learn to maintain it and style it that way rather than leaving it messy. when it comes to you, he can sometimes take the protectiveness a little too far, and ending up getting hurt. with pestering, if he wants something he won't stop until he gets it. he will bug you, try to bribe you with god knows what, and even start pushing things off tables like a cat would.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

V = VANITY (how concerned are they with their looks?) body wise, he keeps that in check. he showers regularly and makes sure to shave where needs be. face, the same. he maintains that and his oral health well. his hair is the only thing he doesn't care about. he just leaves it and never messes with it other than washing it.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

W = WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?) definitely. he feels bad just not being around you, let alone not dating you. he would be pretty bummed out, and try to get back with you for a while if it was you that broke it off. otherwise, he would most likely avoid you for a couple of weeks.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

X = XTRA (a random headcanon for them.) he will be buying a cat, with or without your permission. and that thing is going to be just as annoying as kuroo can be.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

Y = YUCK (what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?) he doesn't like it if you choose to go out with someone you're extremely close to friend/dating wise (depending on your gender preference too). he doesn't like being ignored either, he's a little attention whore. in a partner, he doesn't like disloyalty or lack of communication. he would also struggle with long distance type relationships, since he would want to see you all the time.

⊱ ──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ──────── ⊰

Z = ZZZ (what is a sleep habits of theirs?) pressing a pillow to either side of his face, and he for sure kicks the whole blanket off the bed and doesn't bother to pick it back up.

requested by: n/a word count: 1800 words started/finished: 07.08.20 - 10.08.20 next character + theme: feel free to ask in my box for the next character! 

[brooklynislandgirl]

♥ Do they make it a point to eat at lease one meal a day together with their partner, or do they do as they please?

Love and Courtship || Accepting

Sometimes a meal in a single day is all that Beth can manage, depending on verse.  As an emergency room nurse, Beth works the 7pm-7am night shift, which means she leaves for work between 5pm and 6pm {the extra time built into her schedule to accommodate the subway running behind}. She also tends to work most holidays. When she is strictly running her own clinic as a nurse practitioner or doctor, then her schedule becomes much more flexible. Beth doesn’t cook, and so she relies on her partner for that. If she doesn’t have one, she will rely on her brother{s}, roommate, or the house-keeper/cook. Otherwise, there’s a kingdom of take-away cartons in her fridge.

If scheduling doesn’t permit a meal to be taken together, she will find other ways to spend quality time with her partner; a long bath, close-cuddling before the other has to get up and out of bed, a phone-call or text/time spent in a video conference.

Food though is a kind of love language for her, especially culturally. She’s used to having large gatherings where everyone contributes to a communal meal. She still prefers these kinds of meals here on the mainland, and they are especially important to her during the holidays, which she might celebrate a little early or a little late, to ensure that everyone who wants to can be a part of it. Beth also spends her days off volunteering to work in her church’s soup-kitchen, whether that means she’s serving, doing prep-work, or clean up. Sometimes, if it’s slow going, she will sit with parents of babies and small children, helping feed them or keep them entertained while the parent{s} eat.

As she is vaguely dependant on her partner on what they are having, if someone is kind enough to make her a meat-based meal, she will not complain and will, in fact, eat it graciously and gracefully, even though she is primarily pescatarian. Other than personal preference, she has no dietary restrictions or needs.

One of the interminably awful, most torturous events for Beth is having Dinner with the Admiral, which is typically a once a month standing date. As unfair as it is to her partner, she tends to need a very long run up to, and severe after care from this event as it is viewed by the man to be open season on his daughter, and he will run her down in every way possible over the course of three and a half to four hours.

Side-note: Though she sees food as culturally important, and will shove snacks at anyone who will take them, surprise people with baked goods and the like from local businesses and the like, she herself doesn’t eat much or regularly unless someone does sit down with her. She also has a hummingbird metabolism and could eat the same portions as two people twice her size.

Side-Side note: When Beth was pregnant with Styxx in A Little South of Heaven {Main} Verse, her son insisted on her becoming a very hands on carnivore. A lot of red meat, the rarer the better. She has not yet emotionally recovered from this.

~*~

Specifically in Across the Universe {Star Wars} and it’s AUs... Anakin and Keni almost never have the luxury of being in the Temple at the same time together, and haven’t for years, much less able to carve out enough time to eat together. Things were simpler when they were younger, and were in the same youngling clan. During their early years of training they would have go to the smaller breakfast rooms set aside for them on the rooftops. On nice days the transparisteel windows would rise into the ceiling to let in sunshine and fresh air in, allowing them to experience a cool breeze while still being surrounded by the safety of the Temple and it’s guardians. Occasionally Jedi masters would join and speak to them, in what they believed was a privileged visits, but what actually turned out to be clever interviews to look for potential future padawans. Anakin and Melakeni would always find a way to sit together, whether directly beside or directly across. Food was passed from one to the other as favourites were decided upon. This sharing of food didn’t stop as they got older, and instead began to take meals at one of the refectories scattered around the temple. The refectories always had a kitchen and a dining hall, and were supplied from the Storage level and the kitchen gardens. When she feared not being chosen by a Master, Keni thought she wouldn’t mind working in the gardens, and could maybe at least catch a glimpse now and then of Anakin. While the refectories were designed for beauty, they maintained a sense of utilitarian purpose. They were connected to the service corridors, were attended by droids who would hover around the rooms to clear away spills, forgotten dishes, and to dispose of any undesired waste. The kitchens were large enough to service over a hundred Jedi at a time. Large stoves and ovens lined the walls. The dining halls themselves were filled with long trestle tables and accompanying benches. Holodisplays hung along the pillared walls to show news from across the galaxy. Meals there were often sombre affairs for the two of them, who never really fit in with clusters of other padawans. Especially the ones who decided to pick on Anakin and mess with him, or his food tray. 

Later, the closer that they came to the Clone Wars, whenever Anakin returned to the Temple and Keni happened to be there, she would find a way for them to end up in her quarters. After their ritual re-acquaintance which largely consisted of Anakin standing there while she breathed him in and nuzzled his throat and petted or stroked every bit of him that was polite, he would often bestow upon her off-world treats that he had acquired, though none so rare as the occasional wullah fruit picked up from traders who exported it from Zelos. Other times they would smuggle tidbits out of the refectories to share later, things nibbled off one another’s fingers, usually fruit and vegetables. Occasionally a bit of bread or special pastry.

In later years, after the fall of the Order and the rise of Imperial Rule, Palpatine cleverly arranges social gatherings and it is rare that they are both allowed to be in attendance. But still, they manage. When it is possible, they do share meals together. Keni continues to threaten the Impending Doom of both cooking him a meal and making one of him.

Anakin continues to hope that she will.

Side-Note:  One thing that has never changed in all of their years together, Melakeni always shares her food with Anakin because she doesn’t technically need as much as other humans, and because she is, in fact, biologically capable of photosynthesising, and able to survive up to three months or so of going without anything more substantial than sunlight.

[zhonglisimper]

`` the city of unity `` | dystopia au

⇢ 1,028 words of a flash-forward several millennia of a godforsaken world.

⇢ Contains profanity, dead animals, implications of rotting corpses, mentions and/or implications of police corruption (bribery).

⇢ Any similarities between characters, timelines and places is purely coincidental. This is nothing but a work of fiction. All rights reserved to Mihoyo Inc. for the canon characters, titles and locations to be named.

⇢ Cr. to Liam Wong for the banner used below. Retrieved from https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/5Lnn9Lg48jv1RvvvLnKKrJK/neon-dreamland-atmospheric-photographs-of-tokyo-after-dark

OTHER NOTES:

will be cross-posted on my AO3 once i finally set that account up. ();u;)

oh shit school will be coming in like 30 hours at the date of posting on tumblr so i can’t promise i’ll post regularly, especially since i signed up for this one event,, fuck

another reason i can’t promise i could even continue with this is because 1) this was very impulsive and was actually an attempt for me to go to sleep at 4-5am 2) i didn’t plan far into this, the last thing i worked on were the characters and even then i doubt i’m finished bc i’m not satisfied bye

also this doesn’t strictly follow the official lore, whether from the manga or not. the official lore definitely did serve as a basis, but there might be statements in the narrative that are deviated from the official facts and that is perfectly intentional! damn right i beta read but only bc i had to write everything from my broken phone to my laptop manually

Only the dead archons from long ago know what millennia it currently is.

In any case, speaking from the perspective of a human being currently reading this - presumably one from a distant present, considering the methods I have undertaken to preserve this: my envisioning.

I’m sure the overbearing gods and goddesses in Celestia will strike at me with a snap, which is why I am in a hurry to note as much detail of my revelation as possible. I am no priest, nor chieftain of a tribe, but a mere... dreamer? Or delusional? Perhaps both; regardless, my identity is but a trivial matter, now and in the future.

Let me begin by the strong iron gates I envision myself stumbling upon every weekend. The gates are tall and proud, and thicker than Madame Lisa’s bookshelves. It is evident that this holy gate is meant to keep away the unwanted. Which is understandable - for the world beyond the gate, once one looks behind themselves, is nothing but the never-ending void. It is dark and will certainly suck the life and joy out of someone.

Perhaps that is why so many outcasts line themselves up to get to enter the sacred City of Unity, the only cluster of civilization left standing after the Interstellar War. Surely, the darkness beyond the walls of the thriving city are all because of the towering mountains of garbage that take up all the light. The dusty haze of unknown substances wafting in the already-putrid air don’t aid in letting sunlight in either.

This, my lieges, is the price the denizens of Teyvat shall pay for being blinded by words and revelations of Celestia and its power-hungry archons. They (the archons) are just as much of tyrants as the Lawrence Clan was. You’d think that they had it all - beauty, grace, brains and power - so what was there to thirst for, especially in the mortal realm?

Much to my dismay, even I, who is but a mere mortal, cannot answer such a complex thought.

Nevertheless, the city appears to be very futuristic; there are significant technological and scientific advances. Alchemy is but a dead folklore, and the mysterious denizens have evolved to “cyberpunk” technology. Visions have also become nothing but dead folklore. After all, what on Earth would any of the denizens need a Vision for when cutting-edge technology was at their feet, giving them the power to alter their godforsaken appearances? Their physical and mental capabilities? Their senses? It gave that damned civilization a sense of security, a sense of wealth and elegance and power, regardless of social status.

But tyranny has revived itself once more; the ever-so-humble wishes of the Lord Barbatos have blown away with any sanity left during the War. All of the Geo Archon’s hard labor into shaping the lands into precise perfection have gone down the drain, and Fontaine’s famously just system has evaporated into nothingness. Tyranny hails in the City of Unity, and the wealthiest of entrepreneurs take their holy seats. For in the City of Unity, it is widely believed (and affirmed, even a drunken fool can see the facts and statistics) that the said city would certainly not be where it is now - eternal florescent lights, advanced machinery, unparalleled science and evolutionary bio-alchemy that not even dear Miss Sucrose can match - without the diligence and intellect of the leading entrepreneurs. After all, they are the ones that funded the scientists who discovered and created all the blessed machinery that the city so desperately depends on like a drug and its pusher. Like an alcoholic and his wine.

Because of their seemingly endless wealth and sheer social power, the military turn a blind eye to the graft and corruption of the famed entrepreneurs. Even when a brave soul speaks up with the appropriate evidence, that evidence will never be able to compare to the five lawyers hard at work for their single client.

And it’s not like Miss Angelica, founder and chief of Honey Entertainment, can indulge on the secrets of her fellow business partners, for everyone in the business realm has something to say about everyone. One misstep could lead to the ultimate downfall of any entrepreneur, with all of them equally knowing the way the general public despises them. They are arrogant, but not ignorant - no good businessman would get where the holy seven are now if ignorance to the general public’s opinions blazed in their cores.

But who are they (the general public) to comment, the rich ponder, when it’s all thanks to their ‘philanthropy’ that the rats below their aristocratic asses have food to eat in the first place.

And at the end of the day, the rats below can only hope to make it another rainy day in the ever-raining city as they snake through the cramped alleyways that still hold the scent of cigarettes, beer and cup noodles, all combined in one nauseating scent altogether. And goodness, it’s been two weeks, haven’t the exterminators stopped by yet? The corpses of the actual rats are beginning to pile over the dark corners behind the trash cans. Do they not get paid enough? Probably not. No one in the general public ever does.

Mora is still a thing of the future. No one has ever bothered to change its name, despite the God of Mora dead during this future. Honestly, it’s not that they still want to honor him, rather, nobody cares. In this world, money is money, and it’s only the value and profiting this money long money that matters. Where it came from, how it came to be, what the fuck others call it is irrelevant. Besides, it’s not like the entrepreneurs could think of a more fascinating title befitting for the very currency that feeds their mouths and provides all their pleasures.

And although Mora had been a name for eons, its value had, for once, been disputed. ‘Tis but a powerful curse laid upon the techy city by the entrepreneurs. Still, Mora has, fortunately, been the only currency the City of Unity uses. Even if they’ve converted to online banking and “ATM.”

[cowtale-utau]

This needs some context so. When I tag notes about myself, for some reason my brain keeps trying to call me “Cowmom”. Well, for unstated but likely known reasons, making myself “mother” to these skeletons is hella awkward. But then I realized. Sugar Mama. So while I discussed this with someone, it was decided I need to do a post, so here we are. Who’s down to have a Sugar Mama/Daddy. I also went with the non-romantic definition of sugar-mama rather than a romantic partner who happens to pay for everything/most thing.

Absolutely, there is no problem with any part of this situation

Ace, Scout, Chisel, Flint, Shine, Calico, Sage, Thyme, Aurum

Is down to be arm candy and go on dates but not super into the raunchier aspects

Lief, Piper, Coyote, Tender, Cook, Cirrus, Foxtrot, Mercury, Viridis

Nope, no way, would never happen

Spur, Whip, Doc, Haze, Shuffle, Saturn

Ace – Has boundaries but is honestly pretty chill. Someone wants to pay for everything, cater to him, and he gets laid? Sign him tf up.

Scout – As long as both parties communicate well, this is a great arrangement. While he does have provider instincts, that can be plenty satisfied by handling the emotional labor.

Chisel – Someone wants to handle all that annoying day-to-day living shit for him, and all he has to do is put out? Why is this even a question?

Flint – He gets a bunch of free shit/bills paid and gets laid regularly. Why would he say no?

Shine – This is like a long term version of what he does short term. Not a huge deal for him.

Calico – Much like his brother, this is not a huge deal. Sex based transactions are nothing new for him.

Sage – This boy is more than happy to let someone else take the reins. He likes letting someone else handle the menial things. He doesn’t like dealing with any of that anyway.

Thyme – Ya know what? Sure, he’s game. If someone wants to lavish him in gifts for something he’d do without them, why not?

Aurum – Oh this is delightful. He loves this idea, it’s very fun for him. He treats the whole thing like a big joke, but he goes along with it regardless.

Lief – While not one for transnational relationships, he loves dating and making people feel less lonely. It’s not a big deal to let the other person pay, he can make up for it in other ways.

Piper – He dislikes how disingenuous it feels, but is also very good at playing a part. He won’t commit to intimacy, but he’ll play along for awhile.

Coyote – For him, sex is either completely casual no strings, or committed relationship. But he’ll go to events and on dates.

Tender – Sex without a lot of pre-established trust and actual romantic relationship. But while he has no idea why anyone would want to, he’s content to let someone else pay for things for him.

Cook – A bit of a blend of his brother and Lief. He likes helping people feel less lonely, but he won’t sleep with someone casually, or without real emotional connection.

Cirrus – He’s used to being taken care of, but physically intimacy isn’t something he can do casually.

Foxtrot – This boy lives for attention, so being someones arm candy is easy for him. But he prefers genuine emotional connection before getting closer.

Mercury – Another one who’s happy to play along, up to a point. He will want either to opt out or get a full commitment after awhile.

Viridis – He knows himself, and his needs. He isn’t much for hook ups, and when he does, he doesn’t want to take the risk of mixing ‘booty call’ with someone he might catch feels for. It sucks falling in love with someone who won’t love you back and he doesn’t want to chance it.

Spur – His pride would never allow it. He balks at the idea of this kind of relationship, and feels like it’s an expression of dependency and weakness.

Whip – He finds the whole arrangement demeaning, and won’t agree to it. He can support himself, thank you very much.

Doc – Too much of a provider for this to work well. He appreciates the occasional gift, sure, but not constant luxuries or someone trying to handle his finances for him. He takes care of his own.

Haze – As if he would ever give up that kind of control. Absolutely not. He handles everything for himself, and those closest to him, not the other way around.

Shuffle – Way to shy for a relationship like this. He has to have meaningful emotional connection to even consider dating.

Saturn – He isn’t willing to commit that kind of time or energy to someone that doesn’t have long term romantic potential.

I have been advised that I must follow this with a “which skeles are down to be a sugar daddy” post. So expect that at some point.

[theother-will-grayson]

So in a lot of human!aus I see the sides have completely different jobs and Roman is really the only performer but like...Thomas is a musical theatre nerd so it makes sense to me that all of the Sides would be different types of performers adding little bits of themselves in every performance.

I go to a performing arts college as a musical theatre major, so I know what I’m talking about. Therefore, I present: 

Sanders Sides as Musical Theatre People That I Know and their signature Broadway song

(Deceit and taglist under the cut)

Roman

There is no one gayer.

The only boy in the first semester advanced ballet class.

Will not stop twerking randomly, always goes clubbing.

Specializes in over the top funny songs, but can play a really grounded and real leading man when he wants to.

Has really solid instincts, but sometimes needs to let the song or scene be funny because it’s funny rather than the fact that he’s funny

Idolizes Beyonce

Knows the lyrics to everyone else’s songs

Always trying to steal female songs

Very new Broadway (Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Be More Chill, Wicked)

Always down to be the background dancer in your song for you. 

Never afraid to make the bold choices as an actor.

Pretends to be an overconfident bitch who roasts the shit out of people just to be funny but is actually down to earth and incredibly kind.

Open fascination with famous musical theatre divas

Signature song: Could be “I Believe” from Book of Mormon or “I’d Rather Be Sailing” from A New Brain

Patton

Special skills include looking like a smol bean but then will kick the door down and belt his heart out.

Incredibly supportive to a fault

Always shouting things like “I DON’T OBJECTIFY MY FRIENDS BUT YOU’RE SUPER SEXY YOU’RE SLAYING”

Has a cute aesthetic and then one day shows up for a scene in a sexy minisKIRT WHAT THE FUCK (and slays it???????)

Definitely has a sound you would not expect

Can flip between sexy growl belting and a classic operatic sound a la Kristin Chenoweth

Is always super philosophical and can get deep really quickly

Great taste in memes but will also talk about the current events he’s referencing with good knowledge on their impact.

Is incredibly kind but not above talking shit when someone is a dick, and therefore you know a person is really bad if Patton has a bad opinion of them

Is infamous across sections for being a neverending font of positivity

Mom friend, always a listening ear

Kind to teachers but doesn’t kiss ass

Casting type all over the god damn map

Signature Song: “I Am What I Am” from La Cage Aux Folles or “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables

Logan

One of those actors that also takes writing and directing and film classes

Watches at least one new movie a week for fun and research both

Refuses to date for at least his first semester 

A really precise actor to a fault

Can sometimes over think and over plan his scenes and songs

His best performance of the semester was when he had to do a song where he just sat down and sang a ballad without any blocking and it was so real and beautiful that everyone was fucking sobbing.

Always complimented on his work ethic

Universally beloved

Analytical and always working

A good scene partner who will never flake out on a rehearsal

Gives good notes, director friend

Fills out character analysis sheets and thinks about mannerisms etc. like his life depends on it.

Solid knowledge on different acting teachers and styles

Needs to rely on instinct more but is far from a bad actor.

Has more sound than you’d think

Signature songs: “What You’d Call a Dream” from Diamonds and “Purpose” from Avenue Q

Virgil

Actor that relies on instinct

Would kill to play Peter Pan

Does not take bullshit

Is really bad at taking notes because he forgets that a note from a director is not an insult to your skill, but a NOTE to make you BETTER

Has a hidden talent in sardonic comedy

Surprisingly good at silent physical comedy

Character actor -- can play a physical comic and dramatic roles with a big personality, but can nail being strong and real when he really tries

Loves playing angry roles

Great skill for playing chorus roles and bit parts

Not a dancer but he puts forth his best effort in every dance class

Has a hyperfixation on becoming really good at stage combat and juggling

Has an open disdain for certain popular shows like Cats and Grease

And gets really oddly excited about the shows that get glossed over sometimes like Godspell and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Gives really good notes and is extremely helpful in improving others’ performances, but is always afraid to speak up and give notes for fear of seeming like a dick who thinks he knows everything

Extremely self-critical and has gotten called out by certain teachers for being more critical of himself than they are of him.

Makes edgy jokes

That one person who always sings a song badly for the meme

Has a wealth of knowledge about musical theatre history in weird spots but not other spots that you would expect (for example can list an extensive timeline on how gay rights are connected to theatre and how closeted playwrights birthed the drag queen, or how Hello Dolly killed the movie musical,  but got several questions about Sondheim wrong on his Musical Theatre History exam)

Is constantly watching video essays on film, will wax poetic about the directing style/acting style of ANYBODY he loves and has the knowledge to back it up.

Gives self-deprecating compliments

Needs to make people laugh to validate self

Love for old broadway

Idolizes the 25th Anniversary version of Phantom because of the screamo punk aesthetic and can tell you the exact timestamp where you can see Ramin Karimloo's wrist tattoo

Defends movie versions of musicals

Really wants to be a leading man but it just isn’t his casting type

Has a background in straight plays

Wealth of skill in technical theatre, background in competition shows and forensics

Signiature songs: “Santa Fe” from Newsies and “Extraordinary” from Pippin

Deceit:

Compulsive Liar

Constantly telling everybody about his long list of credits and everything that he’s done (he was in a Reeces Puffs commercial, he was in a circus and his favorite was the aerial silks, he’s a professional figure skater, he taught pointe to national champion ballet dancers even though he’s in low level ballet and he can’t do pointe himself, he can bench way more than the guy who works out all the time and is obviously bigger than him) and no one ever believes him because of all the bullshit he spews.

Idolizes the other guy who plays his type in the class and literally copies everything he does except worse.

Can be really condescending at times, always taking the lead in a bad way and ordering people around. 

Everyone that doesn’t hang out with him regularly likes him because he’s charismatic while everyone who is in his class shakes their heads

Always buttering up teachers except he never takes their notes because he’s above them I guess

Rubs Virgil the wrong way the most

Always doing his own choreography in downtime during classes even though that’s really disrespectful to your current choreographer

Over indicates his acting

Is the one person anyone has ever seen Patton talk shit about

Never does his homework or reads the script like he’s supposed to -- once he didn’t know anything about Les Miserables of all things (”I think it’s French?”) and you just hear someone from the back of the room go “Didn’t you say you were in this show???”

It’s really a shame because everyone can tell that he’s a really talented singer and kind of a cool person and would be amazing if he stopped being an ass.

Signature song: “You’ll Be Back” from Hamilton

Taglist

@ironwoman359 @sandersstudies @cattonsanders

Also tagging @abraca-datass because Patton is definitely based off of her

[actuallyvirtual]

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Best bamboo wood blade set

KitchenAid 14-Piece Classic Forged Series Brushed Stainless Steel Cutlery Set

$62 (was $71, presently 13% off)

The bamboo hinder that accompanies this arrangement of blades was a major draw for customers. "The set is encased in delightful bamboo wood, which likewise holds the coordinated precious stone sharpener," thinks of one. "I am very content with this set and prescribe it most exceptionally." Another says, "These blades are lovelier than I expected, just like the bamboo blade square. They have an extremely decent parity and a decent edge, and will be an ideal present for a youngster moving out all alone; she may never need to purchase blades for an amazing remainder." And not exclusively do these rivetless handles look remarkable, as indicated by one commentator, "They're agreeable to hold, look really wonderful, and appear to be dependably strong."

Best kitchen-blade set with a glass square

Mercer Culinary Genesis 6-Piece Forged Knife Block Set, Tempered Glass Block

4.7 stars, 944 audits

"I am an all out blade upstart and these blades are THE BEST," keeps in touch with one commentator, who says these blades "truly bring me delight regularly." He lost a $300 set during a move and "would not like to hack up" that a lot of cash once more. In the wake of purchasing these a little hesitantly, he writes,"I can genuinely say that at a large portion of the value these blades are similarly on a par with the other options. The steel is top notch, they hold their sharpness, they're even and agreeable to hold, in addition to I love the cutting edge glass blade hinder." There are advantages to that glass square, other than feel. Another client clarifies: "It bodes well than some other blade stockpiling I've seen. Initially, the edges aren't laying on anything. In contrast to customary wooden obstructs, it's staggeringly simple to clean. Simply take the top rack off, unscrew the highest points of the columns and it breaks into pieces." He prefers the blades themselves, as well, calling them "the best blades" he's at any point possessed. "The blades worked like enchantment. They are sharp, yet in the event that you handle them with care, they accomplish the work for you," says. One thing to recollect, "don't place wet blades in" the stand warms another analyst. "They'll cloud within the glass."

Best German kitchen-blade set

Zwilling J.A. Henckels 30768-000 TWIN Signature Knife Block Set, 11 Piece

4.3 stars, 642 surveys

This set, as one commentator composes, is comprised of "very sharp and expert evaluation cuts." Another observing analyst says, "I was searching for manufactured Zwilling edges, made in Germany. These component ice-solidified, stepped cutting edges. At the point when cutting edges are solidified right now more strong and durable than standard stepped sharp edges. You'll quickly see that the cutting edges remain more keen for more and will hold their edge." Another analyst lauded that "you can simply feel how well they are assembled." Yet another fulfilled client raved that "the blades are lightweight, even and the handles are ergonomically all around intended for an entirely agreeable grasp, assisting with decreasing exhaustion if doing a ton of prep work. I was astounded by how light [but also] tough [they are] because of German steel and Henckels hardening process."

Best blade set with scissors

Farberware 15-Piece Stamped Stainless Steel Knife Block Set

$36 (was $40, presently 10% off) 4.2 stars, 1,269 audits

While a few blade sets on this rundown accompany scissors, customers saw the pair included here as particularly high caliber. One commentator even cautions, "The scissors are exceptionally sharp, be cautious!" Another says, "The scissors are so valuable. Never any issues with free handles." Other customers adulated the smooth plan of the set. "I feel you can never turn out badly with Faberware items," remarks one. "The structure is pleasant and up-to-date and these blades cut with such accuracy." Another expresses, "Smooth and looks extraordinary in the kitchen."

Best kitchen-blade sets with sharpeners

Calphalon Classic Self-Sharpening Cutlery Knife Block Set, 12 Piece

$140 (was $174, presently 20% off) 4.3 stars, 686 audits

The most helpful and mainstream highlight of this set is the worked in sharpener. As one analyst clarifies, "the large blades have a self-honing stone when you place them back in their holding region that hones the blade as you slide it back in!" Another commentator noticed that this framework "took some becoming acclimated to having sharp blades since I've had such dull ones every one of these years. Didn't understand how terrible mine were until we got these." Others concurred this set was certainly justified regardless of the cost. One says, "As an understudy, I became accustomed to carrying on with the modest life. $25 Costco blade sets can be similarly comparable to the genuine article, correct? I lived in my universe of elective realities, head covered in the sand like an ostrich maintaining a strategic distance from eye to eye connection with its smash. I continued accepting my blades were okay and that it was all the potato's deficiency my blade wasn't cutting anything." But then "my head at long last left the sand when I talented myself this Calphalon blade set. This more likely than not been the blade set Mickey Mouse used to cut his bread so dainty. Oneself honing square keeps the blades more keen than my granddad's mind." Others conceded to (the blades, since apparently not many of them knew the other analyst's granddad). "These cut easily," they said. What's more, "the blades appear to get more honed with each utilization." And at long last, "I give nothing 5 stars as I might suspect most things can be enhanced. I am absolutely content with these blades. Worth the cash, as I would see it."

[commander-ledi]

long ass recap of ledi's and canach's relationship:

after the whole mess in heart of maguuma ledi was left as a depressed mess (he really didnt take the loss of his partner well and everything else weighting on top of it didnt help). he wouldnt move from his bed for days and ate only bare minimum. eventually canach managed to get him out of his slump and gradually forced him to get out more. around that time canach was the only one ledi listened (partially because the whole "distrust in sylvari" mess so he felt safe only around other sylvari, and partially because canach had essentially been constantly ledi's lifeline while mentally wrestling against the call of the jungle dragon)

naturally ledi ended up developing a crush on canach, though he intentionally kept it to himself, because he was aware that it wouldnt be healthy considering how dependant he was to canach at the moment, and he wasnt ready for a new relationship so soon.

as time passed, ledi became more stable, he stopped relying on canach and generally he started to become mentally more healthy. ledi started to realize that his crush on canach was not going anywhere. he was slightly intimidated by how serious his feelings were, because he still felt like he was not ready for a new relationship. so when canach had earned his freedom and decided to follow his own roads, ledi was a bit sad, but also relieved because he could just push his feelings aside and forget about it.

ledi had regularly one night things with random people he picked up from bars (still keeping himself strictly out of any serious romantic relationships), but he stopped that when he was reunited canach and he got smacked in face with his feelings for canach. also he started realizing that it was probably a bit deeper than just a crush.

ledi decided to act on his feelings, but A) he is really shitty at flirting B) canach is really shit at understanding that someone is flirting with him, so it didnt really get anywhere until ledi impulsively kisses canach during the events of long live the lich. the brief discussion they had revealed that both of them had feelings for each other, but neither was aware that it was mutual (rytlock threatened to kill them for being so oblivious).

after the fight was over, both decided that its a good idea to sit down and actually talk. canach reveals that he has had sort of a crush on ledi since the events of season 2, but he kept it strictly to himself (originally because ledi's distrust towards canach and the fact that ledi was married, later for the same reasons why ledi kept his feelings for himself). after having a lengthy discussion about feelings, boundaries etc, they decide to start dating.

[faegrifted]

( if you’re still doing the ship thing? for con & kenzi ?)

Send a ship & I will answer…. for @rcprobate

Who is a night owl: Kenzi cause of insomnia. Given what Connor is though I’m willing to bet he has a few things to try to help her with that and probably does his best to make sure she gets a healthy amount of sleep. Whether or not he knows just being there helps a lot is anyone’s guess.

Who is a morning person: Still Kenzi if you count being up regularly till 3AM and sometimes later (help her omg). If it doesn’t definitely Connor. Man’s annoyingly good at getting up in the morning despite Kenzi’s valiant attempts to get him to stay and play hooky with her in bed for a few more hours. Besides, on the days where Kenzi is somehow up before Connor, it’s no guarantee that she’s actually awake. She’ll maybe stumble around in this pseudo-zombie mode where she mutters to herself, runs into shit, and knocks stuff over till Connor’s like “Kenzi just sit down. I’ll make the coffee.” 

Are they cuddlers: I think it’ll take a bit to get them there but once they are boy howdy. Connor is too much of a sweet lad to not be a cuddler and Kenzi is too touch-starved and smitten to not pounce on Connor once they reach that level. We’re talking about hair petting, legs tangling, skin tracing with fingertips, and hand holding. They do it all and go hardcore. They’re so gross.

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: Size wise you’d probably assume Connor holds the big spoon title. However, you’d be wrong. I think I’ve said it before that Kenzi does have a big love for jetpacking her taller partners and may just have a thing for holding Connor in her arms. She has a thing for being able to start and end the day by pressing kisses to his shoulders and neck and all the little marks there. She likes feeling like she can do something to make Connor feel safe, warm, appreciated, and loved cause… he is and she’s not always the best at wording that. This is one of the ways she shows him. And Connor? He seems quite content with it. It’s not exactly rare they switch though.

What is their favorite sleeping position: Well aside from Kenzi spooning against his back or vice versa Kenzi enjoys falling asleep against Connor’s chest. His heartbeat is soothing and she likes being able to trace her fingertips over his mastectomy scar while Connor likes being able to hold her and play with her hair. But honestly so long as they’re close and comfortable neither complain.

Who steals all the blankets: Probably Connor. Kenzi runs hot and tends to act like a little space heater in bed, so while I wouldn’t say he steals them it’s a thing that they tend to wake up with most of the blankets jumbled around Connor in the morning cause Kenzi probably pushed them off herself.

Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt: I’m not saying Kenzi is against seeing Connor wearing her stuff but it doesn’t exactly fit. His body or his style. However, she is a certified shirt thief and has definitely made a habit of donning any number of Connor’s shirts and not much else in the morning. 1. He enjoys it. 2. Sometimes he enjoys it enough he forgets what time he’s actually supposed to be at work.

Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares: Both. They’ve both been through some shit. The nightmares tend to happen less when they’re together though and when they do they’re easier to get through with the other there.

Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep: If it’s ever happened I guarantee it was Kenzi and she probably spent the next week apologizing to him for it uwu.

Who can’t keep their hands to themself: It depends really. In public probably Kenzi. Touch-starved remember? I mean she could help herself. But she doesn’t. She likes holding his hand when they walk. She loves smoothing his hair back into place, especially when she’s the one who just messed it up. She enjoys watching his face flash fry when she slips her hands into his back pockets to pull him close to whisper something sweet or filthy or just for the joy of stealing one more kiss from him. In private it’s most definitely Connor who while not entirely against PDA is the shyer of the two and definitely more private about intimacy. But once they’re behind closed doors or at least only around friends oh boy.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Kenzi for sure. She’s always taking cute selfies of them and while Connor has a ton saved to his phone including a few candid ones he’s taken of Kenzi himself he’s still the more private of the two and those pictures are just for him.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: They both do. It’s kind of their thing. Little love notes. Event reminders. Special dates. Little hearts, X’s & O’s.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Kenzi. It’s not a part of her love language but I could see Kenzi one in a while buying Connor any number of things that catch her eye that she thinks Connor would enjoy or be interested in. She once got him a crystal set to see if it’d amplify his magic. However, they both tend to get each other gifs that have a lot of thought and significance to them.

Who initiated the first kiss: Definitely Kenzi. Their first kiss happened when this whole thing first started and Connor was trying to explain all the reasons why it wouldn’t work and how problematic it’d be just due to his alignment with the Dark, how he might not have time for her always because of work, how there’s definitely someone better for her out there. She kissed him to shut him up, she kissed him because she wanted to, and because she didn’t want him analyzing things.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning: Connor. Because he usually wakes up first. And cause he’s a sweetheart who doesn’t mind that she growls about being woken up at a decent time. Or complains that she has morning breathe and shouldn’t. And how that never stops her from stealing another.

Who starts tickle fights: Connor. The day he realized how ticklish Kenzi actually was was a day of war for these two and Kenzi found out how ruthless Connor can actually be.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Definitely Connor. Cause 1. polite boy 2. He knows the words “May I?” before he does literally anything does wondrous things to Kenzi.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Kenzi. Because she likes to see him and because Connor does have a tendency to overwork himself to the point that some days if she doesn’t he’ll skip eating entirely and that’s a NO.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date: I think they both were tbh. That making things official and going on a real date together turned them both into silly morons despite that up until then they’d been doing similar things as friends with no problem. Luckily those nerves only lasted maybe the first 40 minutes of the date and they both realized nothing had really changed. That they both were still comfortable around one another, the easiness was still there if they let it, and that they still liked hanging out. Just now there was the bonus of being able to touch each other the way they’d been thinking about for a while now.

Who kills/takes out the spiders: Connor handles all the spiders via the catch and release policy because even while Kenzi will refuse to come back inside till the spider is gone she doesn’t want to see them hurt.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: I can’t see Connor drinking to the point he gets this silly but Kenzi definitely has before. But rather instead of saying she loved him it’s more likely she went into a 30 long minute rant about the things she liked about Connor, even his most annoying qualities, and about how stupid pretty he is and how she’s pretty sure she’s the luckiest bitch alive. Connor probably had to carry her ass home all the while her still slurring sweet nothings and complimentary insults to him.

[polyrolemodels]

Mx Nillin

1. How long have you been polyamorous or been practicing polyamory?

Personally? Less than 5 years. I’ve been non-monogamous with my nesting partner, Falon, for about 4 years now, but neither of us explicitly identified as polyamorous until we started seeing our best friend Kate about a year ago. 

2. What does your relationship dynamic look like?

Falon and I are legally married and live together in a tiny apartment with a cat and two guinea pigs. We’re in a romantic, sexual, and emotional relationship with our best friend, Kate, who lives on her own a short drive across town.

Kate doesn’t want to ever get married or live with anybody else. She really values having her own place to herself and so do we, so, it just works out for everybody really well! We all see each other multiple times a week, binge watching Netflix shows, playing nerdy tabletop games, going on date nights, checking out local events, or trying out threesome positions for ourselves and then blogging about them [http://mxnillin.com/will-it-threesome-double-dip/] LOL

Though Fal, Kate, and I are in a closed polyamorous triad together, we’re all still non-monogamous to a degree. Each of us has a friend or two we sometimes share nudes and flirt with outside of our relationship, but the three of us are all romantically committed to each other.

3. What aspect of polyamory do you excel at?

Ugh, honestly, I wouldn’t say that I “excel” at anything so much as I’m just doing the best I can to look after my own health and wellness while also striving to be the best partner I can be to Kate and Falon.

I used to be REALLY bad at the whole self-care thing and it lead to a lot of fear, anxiety, insecurities, and jealousy in my past relationships. I almost exclusively relied on those who I was intimate with to just comfort me until I felt better. In some cases, I put the entire onus of my mental and emotional health onto my past partners. Unsurprisingly, that created some incredibly fucking unhealthy behaviors as I sought out a pretty constant supply of comfort, validation, and assurance from them in order for me to feel happy and secure in those relationships.

That’s not so much an issue for me anymore, and I’m really proud of that because it has taken a lot of hard work to unlearn those toxic behaviors, develop healthier personal habits, and overall better communicate with the people who I love. I’m also much more on top of taking my anti-depressant pills, and going in to see my counsellor, when necessary.

That’s not to say I’m some stoic, chill master of my emotions or anything. Insecurities still crop up, jealousy sometimes rears its head, and on occasion a little validation is appreciated, but I think all of that is pretty natural

4. What aspect of polyamory do you struggle with?

The stigma. Holy shit, the stigma

I‘ve never loved two people at the same time, and in the same ways, before. I’ve never been committed to two partners at once before. Like, it’s no exaggeration when I say that my relationship with Falon and Kate has shattered my entire perspective of life, love, family, the institution of marriage, identity, politics, and so much more.

And all for the better, I might add!

But polyamory isn’t something you see reflected back at you by society, especially not in any sort of positive, judgement-free way. It’s not a relationship structure that’s even sorta socially, politically, governmentally, or economically accepted, let alone widely acknowledged, talked about, written about, ore seen out in public. And it sure as shit isn’t represented in a lot in literature, or art, or media of any kind… at least not in ways that don’t tend to be fetishizing or tragic. 

I mean, when’s the last time you’ve seen any sort of show about an everyday non-binary queer navigating life with their poly family? Never? Yeah, me neither.

All of this has led to us having to pretty regularly endure super shitty, awkward situations of us having to be in the closet depending on who we’re interacting with at any given time. Trying to remember who you’re out to, and who is SAFE to be out to, is exhausting and stressful for us all.

And that fucking blows. Yet it’s oftentimes necessary for all our safety.

5. How do you address and/or overcome those struggles?

I talk about it with my partners. A lot. We check in with each other pretty often and we don’t let difficult discussions go undiscussed for long. 

And I write about it too! Maybe too much at times haha.

I find that by putting myself out there, speaking up about my experiences and relationships, it has helped me empower others in their poly relationships while offering me the opportunity to learn from them as well. Especially other sex bloggers, writers, and workers.

I’ve also surrounded myself with a pretty amazing little family of queer and trans folks who have been wonderful supports in my life.

6. In terms of risk-aware/safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

Clear, concise, honest communication has been key. Fal, Kate, and I are all aware of each other’s past partners and we’ve all tested ourselves for STI’s. Currently, we’re all fluid-bonded together, so, condom usage isn’t really there like it used to be. However, we still make sure to boil any sex toys that are shared (between uses), keep our nails trimmed, use lube as needed, and generally make sure that we’re listening to and respecting each other’s boundaries.

7. What is the worst mistake you've ever made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that? 

Not sure if this is really a polyamory mistake so much as it is a boundaries issue. A couple years ago, shortly after Falon and I were married, I had JUST started blogging about how non-monogamy worked for us when we became good friends with somebody we had met through our local LGBTQ+ community. Early on in the friendship, the three of us mutually masturbated together, but we were very explicit in expressing that we were not looking for a relationship of any kind and that the three-way ‘bating was just for fun and probably not a regular thing. 

End of story, right?

Not so much. While Fal and I felt that we were very clear, and that our friend had understood, he instead doubled down. Over the months that followed, he ended up inserting himself into our relationship in a lot of invasive ways that on their own looked innocent enough, but when considered all at once were actually quite manipulative. Then one day he tries to show up at our house to talk with Falon, and when they said they weren’t feeling comfortable taking right now (he was being very pushy) he just forced the conversation anyway by professing his love to them. Oh, and me too, but only as an afterthought when Falon made it clear they were NOT interested.

Things went downhill from there really fast as we started to realize the real degree of his intrusiveness, complete with finding out he had been self-sabotaging opportunities for himself because he had this thought in his head that we’d all live up living together.

Anyway, it’s a long story overall but Fal and I learned a lot about what we were and weren’t comfortable with and set even cleared boundaries with others. That whole thing was bad enough that it almost turned us off from non-monogamy and polyamory altogether though. Luckily, we worked through it because several months after that gong show things started up with Kate, which has been amazing!

8. What self-identities are important to you? How do you feel like polyamory intersects with or affects those identities?

I am a fat, queer, non-binary, loud, foul-mouthed sex blogger with hairy tits, a girl cock, and a full-on fetish for actively subverting social roles and expectations… so of course I’m also polyamorous haha. Seriously though, over the last several years I’ve radically transformed myself as a person, to better reflect who I’ve always been but didn’t feel safe or confident being until my late twenties. I had to, because if I didn’t I was on the fast track to self-destruction [but that’s another story entirely]. 

Now, for the first time ever, I feel empowered to live my life as my authentic self and it turns out that a big part of that has included being polyamorous. Monogamy, at least in how it exists in our culture, has always felt incredibly restrictive, uncomfortable, and toxic to me personally; whereas falling in love with Falon and Kate, opening myself up to them both and forming our queer little polycule, has felt like the most natural thing in the world to me since I came out as queer and trans.

(Bonus: Do you have any groups, projects, websites, blogs, etc. that you are involved with that you would like to promote?)

You can find the vast majority of my work on my blog at www.mxnillin.com. One of the most popular features there is "Mx Nillin Fucks", a blog post series in which I stick my girl cock in a wide variety of inanimate objects, mostly foods so far,  as makeshift masturbation sleeves and write about how good or bad it is. This year is themed "Back to Basics" and has focused on classic masturbation items (banana peels, socks, DIY penetrables, melons, etc.). Outside of this you can also find me regularly participating in #SexEdPornReviews tweets for The Crash Pad Series.

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