#one of those 3am thoughts that just. stick

[lemonatethemoongod]

'prince' who doesnt realise shes trans until after shes kissed the frog

[loganlermanstanaccount]

please don't kill me mr ghostface (part 1)

(AO3 Mirror), (Main Masterlist), (Kinktober '23 Masterlist)

(Part 2 - coming soon!)

pairing: stalker!Miguel x f!reader, slight yandere undertones. (he's a murderer lowkey but very gentle and sweet and scary hot that's all guys I promise.)

summary: murders on campus. the odd toothbrush goes missing. what's new, honestly. life keeps ticking and you end up at a Halloween party somewhere you shouldn't. there, you meet a gorgeous man in a strange mask. he seems sweet, and all you're looking for is a bit of fun. what could go wrong?

warnings: 18+ , fingering, anal play (mig eats ass, send tweet!) , rimming, p in v, soft dom mig, some switchy + needy behaviour, mild threat of violence (not by mig), alcohol consumption. Minors DNI

a/n: 5k words of ignoring red flags. girl get a grip!

wc: 5.2k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You look too good to feel this shitty. 

That's the thought you're left with, picking at flimsy spiderwebs draped on a sofa. Sandwiched between two couples making out like their life depends on it, of course, but that's beside the point. 

“Someone said there's CCTV of a guy walking out the building at 3am… seems a little convenient, if you ask me…”

There's a TV on in the background, barely cutting through the dense chatter. By this point, your eyes have glazed over, trying not to let them rattle around in your skull. Drunken conversation around you, and it's the same thing as always; long, winding tales of a campus killer - the kind out of a cheesy slasher. What the news says, officially, is that there weren't any links between those 3 bodies that turned up out on the playing field, an empty dorm, a supply closet; but it hasn't stopped people from indulging in wild speculation. 

“No, no, she just didn't turn up to my Econ class….I swear–” 

Stay in pairs. Don't walk alone at night. Whilst you think it's all tangential at best, you're not one to tempt fate. The gossip, you could do without. But it doesn't hurt to keep yourself safe, pepper spray nestled in your usual bag. 

Tonight, however, you've left it at home, thinking the friends you came with would be enough. Somewhere, somehow, they're off chugging shit beer and you're milling about the place and sinking into couch cushions. There's something sticky by the seat, and there's a crackle as you're jostled - the sharp edge of a stray elbow almost knocks your drink away. 

Fuck.

For one night only, you're a cheerleader. A short, short skirt and little top; it has you feeling overdressed. Even though you've left the pompoms at home, next to your taser; seemingly, you've read the mood wrong - stupidly assuming people would dress up for a Halloween party. As you make your way to the kitchen, tugging down your skirt here and there, that's all you can see; half-hearted costumes - cat ears, white sheets and flimsy masks. It feels like you stick out in comparison. You've gone all out, with nothing but the threat of a beer sodden lap for your trouble. 

It's a big house. Alpha-delta-phi, kappa-something-or-the-other; a frat with too much money and too much time on their hands. With all the doors you walk past, shallow thuds and thumping ringing out behind them, you're as good as lost. The best ragers this side of campus - as raved about by one of your friends. It feels like bucketfuls of horseshit right now, wandering around packed halls - and oh. Is that the same staircase? 

“ Fuck, watch it!” You clatter into the side of an arm, a t-shirt with a superman symbol emblazoned at the chest. He's pretty, but his features curl into a sudden sneer. 

" Sorry –" You start but he doesn't let you finish, wagging a thick finger in your face. 

There's a girl draped on his arm, merely watching as he shouts; loud over pumping music from the next room over. 

"Hey, dipshit , you gonna keep staring? Mouth open like a fucking fish– do you know how much this shit costs?" Your eyes are wide, as he gets closer - stinking of alcohol and pot and God knows what else. You're not drunk enough to entertain this, shirking away from confrontation. The room is hot, his breath is sticky , and–

He grabs your arm. Immediately you're trying to wrench yourself away, not daring to look into blown pupils. Clammy, his grip tightens on bare skin and your stomach churns. He's solid, bigger than you and unable to keep the anger out of his voice…. and fuck. You're scared. 

Fear, rising like bile at the back of your throat. Bitter and sharp, fear at the fact that there isn't anyone to help; that everyone else looks away and pretends that this isn't happening. Fear at the spittle that sprays from his mouth like poison, stinging skin. You screw your eyes shut, expecting a slap, a blow, or something worse and then… 

Thud. The hand around your wrist is no more, replaced by a gentle pat on your shoulder. Nothing lingering, just a light touch to get you to open your eyes; to see that guy on the floor, clutching at a swollen jaw and split lip. 

"You okay? " 

It's deep, muffled by a mask, and the figure in front of you has to crouch to be heard over incessant chatter. 

You're nodding, sheepishly, not trusting yourself to keep that edge out of your voice. 

Ghostface, the masked man, the only other person at this party properly dressed up; he only cocks his head in a gesture that says a thousand words. His robe pools around his wrists, thick fabric that you grab onto without thinking, grip just as tight as your would-be assailant. You don't even want to think about it, what could've happened if someone hadn't stepped in. It has you biting back tears, more shaken than you'd like to admit. 

"H-Hey, hey, easy…" He's rubbing little circles into your shoulder, hesitant. Your lip wobbles, ever so slightly, but he catches it, gently pulling you aside. 

There isn't a crowd. The stragglers, those that saw the display, barely look at the guy on the floor, scrambling to his feet and far away. In the meantime, you fight off tears and force yourself to flash a shaky smile. 

"Good. " You croak, taking his hands off your shoulders. "F-Fuck , I mean… I'm good. Thank you."

He doesn't quite budge, giving you that strange look again. At least, you think so, rearing up to his full height to cross his arms. Quiet incredulity, almost cartoonish, and it almost makes you laugh. Almost. 

"Let me get you a drink… some water, or something." He says, stretching out a gloved hand. Sensing your hesitance, he quickly adds, "... Please ."

Chewing your lip, you only have to think for a second before taking it, and you're led out through double doors. Your masked man is big; broad shouldered and hulking, cutting through the writhing mass with ease. It's just as well, you think, unable to sort through the tangle of things that rattle around in your head. You hate this fucking school, sometimes. Boys will be boys. Wear more appropriate clothing. Well, wasn't she just asking for it?  A culture of inaction; of hand-wringing and hand-waving… passing on the blame until three dead bodies show up on campus. 

That's one thing you have to thank the so-called serial killer for, at least. At least something might actually change around here. 

Empty, the kitchen is a mess, but nothing you wouldn't expect. Drink long gone; a distant memory spilled on a carpet, somewhere; you perch awkwardly around a counter, not knowing where to put your hands. Rattled, you've resorted to a glassy stare; stewing and festering and thinking so intensely it might frighten off your masked man. 

It doesn't. He merely taps you, a gentle elbow to your side and he offers you a glass of water. Weakly, you give him a smile, gulping up the liquid. 

"You here by yourself ?" He asks, muffled by plastic. 

You can't help it, eyes wide at the implication - a masked man, a killer on campus - and he must realise the way it sounds. 

In no time at all, he clarifies, "I just mean… fuck … is there someone I can call? So you're not alone."

It's a kind gesture. Kinder than you'd expect from a stranger. Slowly, you shake your head. 

"They ditched me about an hour ago." You give a bitter laugh. "Just me and you, Mr Ghostface."

And with that he laughs; deep and sonorous, causing heat to bloom at your chest. Despite yourself, you smile, and you swear you see a glint of something behind the mask. 

It has you itching for a drink. All of a sudden you make your way across the room, swiping at empty beer bottles and cans, rummaging around for some hard liquor. When you find it - a half empty bottle of something that smells like carpet cleaner and acetone - you're taking a swig, and offering it to the man across from you. It's sneaky, but you don't think he clocks your paltry attempt to see what he looks like under that mask. 

He shakes his head, hands up in defeat. 

"You sure?" Your voice is lilting, hazy around the edges. Creeping up closer, you press your body to his, taking another unceremonious gulp. Under that cloak - heavy, somewhat well made - you can feel him, lean and cut muscle that tenses as you get closer. 

Batting your eyelashes, you make full use of the cheerleader get-up, snaking a dainty hand to his side, and then up to the counter. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was ogling you, chest taught and tight at the way you feel against him. 

Or maybe, he's bored as shit. You wouldn't know - with the mask, and all. 

Wobbly, you clamber up onto the counter, helped up by a gentle hand at the small of your back… and oh. You like that: big, thick fingers that press into you, carefully tracing your waist… and why won't they go down a little further? Grab handfuls of the flesh at your thighs, your ass, everything in between? 

He's too conservative for that, you think. Nervous, too. Nevertheless, he slots between your thighs, big palms flat next to your ass. 

"I… I don't mind watching." He says, voice low. 

It makes you giggle as you drink, sweet and soft, and liquid dribbles past your lips, down to collarbone. Mr Ghostface is gentle, tracing a finger across the juncture of your neck, light pressure on the vein that sits nice and pretty at its side. 

It goes to your head. The alcohol, the large man of few words with a hand on your neck. When he finishes swiping at the liquid and pulls his hand away, you curl your hand around his, bringing it to your lips. Pert lips wrap around his finger, tongue swiping over leather, and you swear you can hear his breath hitch - heart clearly skipping a beat. 

"Careful…" You say, leaning forward to press your tits against him, brushing away imaginary fluff from his shoulders. "I really like this costume."

"I like it too." He clears his throat. "You look nice."

"Nice? Is that all I get, Mr Ghostface?" You're teasing, tracing up his broad chest to his neck and then just under his chin. Carefully, you hook a finger under the thin strap of his mask, tugging ever-so gently. 

Quickly, he stops you. 

"Not yet, sweetheart."

You pout, flashing him a frustrated look - and God , does he want to kiss it off of you. 

"But soon?" 

"If you're good." You swear you can hear him smile, hands wrapping around your waist. 

You get a bit bolder, hand tracing up his sleeve, clutching at thick, corded forearm. Watching intently as he keens, pushing you to the edge of the kitchen counter with only one hand at your back. This close, you even like the way he smells, like rust and oil and earth, the way he feels around you; strong arms caging you in, protecting you. You feel safe, for some reason. 

When he sighs into you, exposing a sliver of tan neck, you feel your knees go weak - unable to stop yourself from mouthing at it, pressing little kisses into the skin. He seems so sensitive, rocking into the counter for some pressure already, clutching you closer and closer until there's a hickey blooming just under sharp jawline. 

"Fuck- " He hisses, pawing at your waist a little more desperately. 

Suddenly self conscious, you separate with a wet smack, and inspect your handiwork. 

"Shit." Eyes wide, you press a finger into the flesh. Your masked man winces. "M'sorry. Got carried away."

He heaves, placing his head on your shoulder for a moment, trying to catch his breath. 

"It's fine," He strains. "Don't worry… s'fine."

Admittedly, he doesn't seem too fine, adjusting what feels like a painful hard-on beneath a loose cloak. 

Cradling his head so he can look at you, you whisper something bold, even for someone who's downed more than a couple shots worth of cheap liquor. 

"I know somewhere… I-I think … that we could go if you wanted to…" His head lolls, and you hear him swallow roughly. "Somewhere quiet . We'd be alone. Just us."

A beat passes and you think you might've read this wrong, much too forward for your own good. It’s why he surprises you by nodding - slowly, at first, and then with more conviction. Taking your hand, he snakes it under his mask, and you almost gasp when you feel soft, plump lips at your knuckles and palm, pressing shaky kisses to the skin.

“I need to do something first.” He says it so quietly, you almost miss it under the mask. “Where can I meet you?”

You don’t ask questions. 

“Pool house.” You nod towards the windows, overlooking a sizable pool. People mill about its edges, but you know the little house is off-limits for the night. “Side entrance. They… leave it unlocked, sometimes.”

He doesn’t ask questions. 

Before he goes, he snakes a hand under your skirt, giving your ass a sizable squeeze - leaving you breathless. 

You don’t feel the cold as you slip out, playing with a loose thread at the hem of your skirt. The side entrance is stiff but unlocked, and you duck past a screen, head on a swivel. Like a good girl, you sit on plush cushions, thighs pressed together to relieve a pressure that has been building since you met your masked man. And you want to touch yourself; to circle that little bud with clumsy fingers, imagining it was him.

You wait. And you wait. You settle between the cushions, adjust your skirt, look at your hair through a makeshift mirror - the glossy surface of windows overlooking the pool. Not wanting to risk turning on the lights, you wander past what little streams in from across the pool; flashing and pounding with the heady bass of music. You can't help but wonder where he's gone, if he's even coming, and what he had to do so desperately that he'd leave you wanting more. 

At this point, you don't even care if he takes off his mask. You don't want to know a name, or see the real man underneath the costume. You just want him; writhing underneath as you bounce on his fat cock. 

"Hey." 

That voice makes you jump, swiveling to face him. How did he get in without you noticing? He was so quiet, so–

"Missed you." He says it so soft, it makes you melt, walking slowly towards him. Shrouded in shadow, as you get closer you notice he's shed his cloak, donned in a white t-shirt and straight leg jeans. Big boots, thick with fresh mud, thud onto the tile. When you meet, two figures cut by bright light, you almost gasp. He's taken off the mask. Instead of Mr Ghostface, you're met with a man - and he is so, so beautiful . 

Tan skin. High cheekbones, a jaw that could cut glass. His hair is haphazardly slicked back, fluffy and curly in all the right places. But it's his eyes: mischievous and glinting and serious all at the same time - absolutely gorgeous. You could look at him like this forever; chest heaving, messy, out of breath. 

Your hand comes to his chest. He’s hot to the touch, clasping his great big hand atop yours. Squeezing, he pulls you closer, other hand creeping up bare thigh, before hooking under your ass in a move that makes you squeal.

From this close, his lashes look so pretty; wispy and romantic and yearning.

"You look beautiful.”  He doesn’t kiss you, not yet, content with only watching - studying you with sharp eyes. “Always do."

All you hear are the compliments, too tipsy to notice what the stranger implies. You're not usually one for a one night stand, but he is intoxicating - intense in a way that's hard to explain. 

Carding one hand through the curls at the nape of his neck, you press your lips to his in a kiss that starts off sweet and quickly deepens. He is hungry and devouring; licking up your moans with plump lips. 

You lead him to the sofa, only separating for fleeting breaths. Eyes low, illuminated by a flash of light here and there; you force yourself to concentrate on him , shuddering breaths and all. He’s hard, rocking into your lower half splayed out beneath him and arms caged around your head. It’s sly, but you snake a hand past his t-shirt, across his back and then fumble with the belt. It makes him smile, soft laughter spilling into your parted lips; before he sits up above you.

“You want it that bad, huh?” Windswept, he croons, batting away your hands to unbuckle the clasp himself.

You groan, shifting upwards. You don’t notice the way his eyes dart down, eying up the peek of thigh that spills out of little shorts. 

“Say it f’me, sweetheart.” He hikes up your skirt, exposing your covered cunt. He’s gentle, pawing at the flesh, pressing the heel of his palm right above your clit.

“F-Fuck!” The pressure is delicious, and you roll your hips up, up, up; chasing some semblance of relief. When he stops, you whine - clutching at his forearm, frustrated. “Want it, please .”

“Want what?” He prompts, lifting his shirt over his head in one quick movement. You’re met with the wide span of his chest, muscle taut and tight above you.

“Want you in me. I want… I want you to fuck me ‘til I break, pound my fucking hole so hard I can feel it in the morning. I want– ”

You’re babbling, now, spurred on by the way he tugs off black shorts, lifting up your legs to slip them off. He’s too slow, clearly enjoying watching you squirm and writhe. 

“You can have it, sweetheart.” He coos, before capturing you into another kiss. This time, he separates and you follow him up; finally parting with a wet smack. “I’ll give you whatever you want, however you want it… but you gotta do something first.”

“ Anything .” You breathe.

“Fuck yourself, for me. I…I–”

“You like to watch.” You finish it for him, breathless.

“Please.” His head dips low; big, red-brown eyes never leaving yours. 

The way he says it leaves you panting, hung off of every word. And you croon, leaning back into couch cushions, already hot at the way he kneads his thumbs to the flesh near your pussy. This close, he can see the way your cunt pulses, eating up a tiny thong between glistening lips. He’s kneeling on the floor, now, snaking his body around to get a perfect view, flashing looks between both your pretty lips. 

More than willing to oblige, you pat at your clit, sending sweet pleasure coursing through your lower half. Even though your legs tremble, he holds you down, placing gentle kisses to your inner thighs. Slipping your thong to the side, you dip two fingers past your slit, gathering up slick to press carefully into your hole.

“So… so pretty. ” He sighs, not daring to close his eyes despite the pleasure he feels. When you notice how his other hand is buried in his pants; jerking up and down to match your pace. You start slow, for now, pumping two fingers in and out, heel of your palm snug against your clit. The sounds are obscene, the wet schlick-schlick ringing out in the quiet room. 

“Prettiest fucking thing I’ve ever s-seen.” Your stranger moans, slathering over your thighs with sloppy kisses, occasionally swiping at your knuckles. Lower and lower, as you get faster and faster, his tongue makes you feel amazing. You’re close - entranced by your spot in the limelight and the sharp eyes that watch every ministration. 

It’s only when you’re knuckle deep, well and truly fucking yourself ; chasing something just out of reach with his help; when two things happen, catching you by surprise. The first, the one that sends electricity down your spine, that makes you jolt and shiver and almost cum right then and there…

…is a wet kiss pressed to your asshole. He slathers and slobbers and licks large stripes up and down; ripping a great moan out from you. He doesn’t stop there, spreading the globes of your ass to delve deeper, tongue-fucking you as your hand stills - unable to concentrate on anything else. Pornographic, he humps his lower half to the same pace, sealing his mouth over your hole. With the vibrations of his moans sending pleasure straight to your clit, you finally cum - a rolling, bubbling orgasm that ends just as intensely. 

The second thing that happens, just as you fall off the edge, is that you’re plunged into darkness. The lights from across the pool, once bright and flashing; are cut off. The music stops, and chatter dies down. Your stranger holds you through it, licking up cum from your neglected cunt, whispering sweet things into the skin.

“There it is, baby. Nice n’ slow.” He soothes as you whimper, hand tight in his hair. 

In the dark, you’re heaving, feeling him slow down as your cunt clenches around nothing, empty. Shaky, you sit up on your haunches as he follows you up.

“Is everything…? What happened?” You’re a little panicked, shaken up from your orgasm. 

“You’re okay, you’re okay. ” He rubs little circles into bare skin. “Too much?”

You shake your head, nuzzling into him. He gives your forehead a kiss, and you feel warmth bloom across your chest.

He shifts. “Just give it a…”

As if on cue, a generator whirs to life, flooding the little room in red light. Something similar seems to happen across the pool, as you take a quick glance to the window.

Your head is a little fuzzy. It aches as you catch his eye, looking at you intently.  

“Do you want to stop? We don’t have to–”

“No.” You say it resolutely, with so much force it even catches you off guard. “I want to.”

“Fuck.” He mutters, brows pressed together imperceptibly. 

For someone you’ve just met, he still looks at you like ice about to melt, like he’s bearing witness to the last breaths of a dying star. He looks at you like he knows you; like he knows how many half-truths and one-night stands you’ve had to endure. It makes you shiver; here, bathed in crimson light, pressed against one another.

He starts with your lips, a gentle thumb pressed flat, and then deeper, deeper, deeper. It’s like before, you realise, the taste of liquor and leather long gone. He keeps his eyes on you, careful as he pops the thumb out, groaning at the length of spit that comes with a flash of your pink tongue. You splay yourself out underneath him, drinking in the sight above; your stranger, your masked man once upon a time, shirtless and breathless and rock hard against your cunt. Now, he tugs down black boxers, its band cut across his torso just so. Thick hair; dark, curly, neatly trimmed; and you reach to trace down his happy trail, to get a hand on his pretty cock.

He just watches , eyes dark, leaning forward to rock into your soft palm and put his mouth on the skin that pillows out from a tight crop top. To give him more access, you tug it down, exposing sensitive nipple. And then that tongue; searching, inquisitive, precise; wraps itself around the flesh. You keen - a pretty moan that has his heart fluttering and eyes clasped shut.

“Inside.” At first, it’s a whisper, said in the throes of deep pleasure. You repeat it, slowing your hand at his cock. 

When he doesn’t answer; still slathering at your tits, pawing the flesh that spills out from your costume; you tug, a sharp thing that has him moaning and sitting up on  his haunches.

“Said I wanted you inside, baby.” You say - and his breaths are deep, his eyes are wild. “Do you want it? Do you want me?”

“A-Always….course I— ” He stops himself, chewing at the inside of his cheek. Finally, he nods and you continue, satisfied.

“Watch.” You titter, reaching down to line him up; carefully gathering slick up at the head of his cock. His tip weeps; shuddering like your stranger does above, getting close and hitching up you up to stay flush against you. His eyes stay trained downward. Inside, he mouths at your neck, groaning once his cock sinks into your fluttering hole.

There’s a tightening grip at your hips, big hands bunching up the skirt to keep you close, with a careful pressure at your clit. That sends heat coursing through your veins, tasting deep crimson in the air. He fucks; up close and humping like he wants to crawl into your skin, with a fervour you’ve never encountered before. It has you hot and sticky, desperate for that biting edge that keeps slipping from dainty fingers. You start to put a hand at your clit, tracing between your bodies when a strong hand pulls it away. Firm.

“No, no, no…” He whispers it, putting your wandering hand to his face, kissing the palm.

“Please. ” You whine. “M’close. So close.”

You feel him twitch inside, hips stuttering at your tone.

“No.” He says it again, resolute. “I’m going to make you cum. Gonna make you feel so good, sweetheart… just… just be patient. Please. For me .”

You’re reaching up for a kiss, of which he obliges. This time, it stays sweet; pink tongues swiped over lips.

“Look at me.” His hips shift, changing angles to hit that sweet spot like you’ve been moulded to his dick - like he knows just where to touch you to make you fall apart. “Look at me, hermosa. Ohh f-fuck, you take me so well… so pretty. You gonna milk my cock? Feels so good around me, sweetheart, like you were made for me. Like we’re ... L-Like–”

You groan, unable to tear yourself away from his writhing form: strong, lean muscles, tensing in the red light. And oh, isn’t he pretty, mere moments away from release, from spilling thick cum inside you.

“M’gonna–”

“I know, I know, hermosa. ” You like the way he says it, rolling off his tongue like honey; treacled and sweet. “Cum f’me, sweetheart. Want to feel you clamp around my cock. Cum for me. ”

And just like that, you’re gone; nails digging into his back as you careen off a steep cliff’s edge. Your stranger quickly follows, pulling out to wrap a tight hand around the base of his cock, spilling onto your stomach as you clench around nothing.

You’re whining, getting ready to complain; why hasn’t he come inside? why doesn’t he want to stay?; when he stills, settling by your side. Propped up by one arm, he crouches down to stroke at your cheek, to touch your jaw, moving your head this way and that - as if he’s looking for something hidden behind bright eyes.

In the red of the emergency lights, you suppose you’re looking for something too. A beat passes, and then another. The generator splutters, whirring and coughing. The lights turn off; replaced by the noise and white lights from across the pool.

So lost in one another, you hadn’t quite noticed; everything else falling away. 

He clears his throat, clambering off of the sofa and tugging up his trousers. Quickly, he returns, a bundle of towels draped across his bare shoulders, and then he wipes off the cum - gently, separating sweaty limbs. Your costume is more or less intact, but you’re unable to do more than just lay there. He’s diligent and patient, not in any sort of rush. When you sit up, he pulls on a shirt, kneeling by your legs to play with a loose thread at your skirt. Too intimate, you suppose. With his head on your lap, you don’t think you care. 

“We should leave.” You say it first, what’s been left in the air for someone else to pick apart. 

“We should.” 

“Can’t leave together.” You say simply, curling a hand in his hair. 

Humming, he looks up lazily, with a hint of a smile. “You go first.”

Neither of you make a move to get up.

“Mr Ghostface,” You start, giggling. “What happened to your mask?”

“Lost it.” He’s cryptic. Finally, he stands. 

Your stranger stretches out a rough palm, and you take it, getting up on shaky legs. You almost collapse onto his chest, but he’s there; solid, stoic. Looking up, and it catches you off guard: the intensity of his stare, how he watches in a way that makes you feel stripped bare. 

“You first.” He repeats, still holding on.

He’s pretty. Of course he is, but the shadow and light makes his features even more pronounced. In the quiet, you take the opportunity to catch him off guard; standing on tip-toes to press a quick kiss to his cheek. Jaw tight, he doesn’t react the way you want him to: ever-still, passive. Fuck. You’ve read it wrong: not used to the intensity of this kind of foray. After all: a one night stand seems too reductive, doesn’t quite span the depths and furrows of how your stranger has taken you apart. Finally, you leave the strange man still standing in the pool house. You don’t dare to look, but you can feel him; the weight of his stare at your back.

You can feel his hands, too; the ghost of his touch lingering as you make your way back to the house, mingling with the crowd.

~~~

You don’t tell your friends. You make your back home after the party, bundled into a taxi with a hand tight around your own wrist. It doesn’t feel like his hand on yours - not even close.

“I didn’t actually fuck him yesterday!” Your friend tugs on your sleeve, giggling into your shoulder as she recounts her night. A debrief with the girls turns into hungover breakfast-bleeding-into-lunch at your dorm. They’re bundled onto the sheets, some eating greasy takeout and others nursing bludgeoning headaches. 

You’re fine, mostly. A little bit of liquid courage, but your hangover pales in comparison to some - catatonic on your rug and scrolling through their phone in a limbo-like state.

“You didn’t fuck him, but you wanted to.” Someone pipes up, and the conversation devolves into raucous laughter.

You laugh, tucked into yourself. The wonders of a half-dozen sophomores during Halloween - able to grin despite the shit storm that’s been mounting. Campus killers notwithstanding - they make you smile, at least.

“Were you there towards the end?” Someone asks, poking an elbow at your side. “When there was that blackout?”

You nod, simply - not trusting yourself to say more.

“I-I mean…” Her voice is suddenly shaky, thrusting a phone into your unsuspecting hands. “Well… they’re saying it must have happened then, or around that time.”

You squint, confused.

“And it could’ve been anyone, I suppose. There were like, what, a hundred people there? More? ”

“What?” 

“A body. They found a body - by the pool house, or something…”

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[poeticpascal]

White Lies (Joel Miller x Reader)

Masterlist | Request here!

Summary: Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: violence, Joel kills 3 dudes (what murdaaah?), descriptions of blood and wounds, stitches, Joel feels guilt and shame but is also very soppy and very in love, fuff and angst all tangled up, descriptions of chronic pain

A/n: I have had a bloody nightmare the last few weeks with suspected endometriosis, which is what inspired me to write this. In my head, reader has endo and the medicine is some sort of contraception or strong painkillers to help her manage it. But it isn't explicitly mentioned so you can imagine whatever you most relate to. Please do let me know what you think, and as always, requests are open!

It’s a harsh winter, even by Boston’s standards.

The QZ is coated in a veil of thick snow, the blizzard that took hold weeks ago now bruising the streets with an icy fist.

Joel pulls his coat tighter around himself, grateful at least for the cover the snowstorm offered, the skies foggy and grey. He can slip through the alleyways much quicker, much quieter beneath the frost. His footsteps are erased almost as soon as he leaves them, and when things get messy, he can soothe his wounds in the freeze.

Which is good, because things get messy a lot.

Not that he’d tell you that. You were too pure, too gentle; not unlike the snow that paints your doorframe now.

No, Joel keeps those things from you. The world has been unkind enough, and if he has one purpose now, it’s to protect that sweetness of yours. To collect it, each golden ray of sunshine that so easily radiates from you, to give it back and let you bask in the warmth of your own soul. 

No one deserves it more than you do. Least not him, and yet you’d given him more love, more sweetness, than he could ever dream of.

That’s why he told you he was working a late shift today - sewage, he thinks he said - rather than where he actually is at 3am, catching his death in an old littered alleyway.

He occasionally shifts to avoid the silver moonlight dripping from the gaps in the fire-escape stairs above him. Tonight’s meeting should be a simple one, free from FEDRA’s strict patrols; he’d done this long enough now to know when, and where, was safest for these things.

He stays on high alert, though. Just in case.

Marco’s late. He isn’t known for being the most competent of dealers, but Joel was getting desperate now, and he was the only crook in the QZ who could get what he needed. He was a small man, a bit pathetic looking, really. But he was smart, and he had connections that even Joel couldn’t make for all his smuggling and dealing.

So when Joel’s supplier told him he couldn’t help him anymore, he didn’t have a choice. That’s what he tells himself, anyway.

“Miller, there ya’ are.” Joel’s snapped out of his thoughts, his looming regret of this whole situation, as Marco strolls down the alley. He grins, in the same cocky way he always did, the sort of grin a man who couldn’t win a fight but has enough men who could wrapped around his finger, doing the dirty work for him.

Joel insisted he come alone. Not because he couldn’t handle his goons; he knew he could. Maybe. But it would cause a scene, and draw attention, to something he very much wanted to keep under wraps.

He’s semi-surprised to see the two men walking behind Marco. Deep down, he’d had some faith that the dealer would stick to his word.

“Quiet the fuck down,” Joel warns, seething through his teeth as his eyes search the alley behind them, making sure they hadn’t been heard. “Who are your friends?”

Marco follows Joel’s gaze towards his companions. “They’re just here to observe.”

The men are the same height as Joel, maybe a little taller. He recognises both from the sleazy speakeasies that lie beneath the floors of the QZ. Where the bad guys go. 

One is bald, with a jagged scar carved across his cheek and over his eye. He’s scowling, unlike Marco and the other man, who looks somewhat softer with thick hair grown to his shoulders and brown eyes that stayed on Joel like bedrock.

“That’s not what we agreed,’ Joel growls.

There’s tension in the air, thick, and they must feel it too because Marco’s henchmen each have a hand hovering near their sides, where silver blades reflect the white of the snow.

“I recall us also agreeing that you’d get your meds in return for the money. But we’re doing things a little differently today.” Joel remains stoic, though his eyes turn dark and angry, the moon’s light no longer illuminating his features. Marco tiptoes slowly towards him, getting so close that Joel can feel his breath and raising a hand to pick a piece of lint from his flannel shirt. “I want my money. But you might have to wait a little longer for your meds.”

Joel reacts then, squaring up to him, stepping forward and clenching his fists. The other men wrap their hands around their blades, anticipating a fight. Marco just laughs.

“‘Scuse me?” Joel asks, though they all know he understood what was going on.

“You’re gonna give me the amount we agreed. And then, you’re gonna speak to one of your guard friends, and cut me a deal. Then you might get your meds.”

Joel’s anger swells inside him like a beast, his previous care to stay hidden long gone as he imagines driving his fist into Marco’s smug, son of a bitch face again and again and again. 

He has to think this through, though. He needs those meds. Marco can see the cogs turning. “Just give me the money, Miller. Don’t make this difficult. You can’t take three of us.”

“No?” Joel retorts, already decided in what he’d do next. “I don’t think it’s worth findin’ out. Give me the meds.”

Marco sighs, dropping his head and stepping away from Joel, leaving him to face his men. “Shame, Joel. You really coulda helped us.”

He nods to his men, who immediately draw their blades and attack. The first lands a punch on his face, the weight of it surprising him as he falls back into the railing. Before he can recover, the other has already plunged a blade through his stomach, right below his ribcage. He controls himself, swallows the yell that claws its way up his throat, tries to think. The cold steel of the rail stabs into his back, and when another fist collides with his cheek and sends him to the floor, he uses it to haul himself up and tackle one of the men - the softer one - to the ground with him.

Marco only stands and watches as Joel throws his weight onto the man and smashes his head into the stone floor. The other grabs his shoulder, spinning him round but Joel’s prepared this time and he dodges the swat of his knife. Instead he throws a punch into his stomach, making him double over which gives Joel the opportunity to grab the knife strapped to his calf and drive it through the bald man’s throat. He stumbles, collapsing to the floor with a choked cry, and Joel turns back just in time to see the other man trying to stand, though the injury to his head makes him dizzy. Joel stands first, easily pushing the man to the ground, and stomping on his head with as much force as his steel-toed boots would let him. Both men stay down.

Marco has regressed into the darkness of the alley, and he looks somehow smaller than usual. He’s pathetic, and if this was any other job, he’d laugh. But this wasn’t a laughing matter, and there was only one target for him; the medication.

The smaller man reaches into his pocket, searching for his gun, but Joel anticipates the move and has already reached him and thrown him against the wall before he can find it. His movements strain the wound in his abdomen, but he doesn’t care. Doesn’t feel it.

Joel’s fist pins Marco to the wall by his throat, making him splutter and flail like a fish out of water.

“Where are the fuckin’ pills, Marco?” He just continues to flail, trying to pull Joel’s hand off of him with both of his own, to no effect. Joel scoffs, throwing him to the floor and dragging his knife out of the now dead henchman’s neck. “If you won’t tell me, I guess I’ve got no use for ya.” He uses his shirt to clean the blade, the flannel already soaked in blood, his own.

“For fuck sake, Marco whines, slightly out of breath. “They’re at my place.”

“There anyone else there?” Joel asks, so nonchalantly that it almost sounds like a passing thought.

“No, no one there. But you’ll need me to get you in.”

Joel looks up again, the now-clean knife held in his fist with a vice-like grip. He stalks towards Marco, ignoring his desperate pleas. 

“Shouldn’t be a problem-” 

With that, he stabs him in the chest, letting him choke and gasp on the floor and searching his pockets for a key. He finds it, and does a quick, final survey of the alleyway. The once perfectly settled snow is disturbed, kicked up in the fight, and deeply stained with blood.

Joel curses, but leaves, only now noticing the burning pain from his torso. He leans against the wall, now stood out in the street, open; but there are no guards. He doesn’t think he’d care. Instead he grabs a fistful of the snow around his feet, packs it into the wound, hissing at the sharp pain of the ice but quickly feeling relief as it numbs him.

This was going to be a long night.

—------------------

It’s another couple of hours or so before he returns. There were, in fact, people at Marco’s place - but Joel knew that would be the case anyway. They weren’t a problem.

He’d showered in Marco’s flat, after taking out the men hanging out in there. Protecting it, he assumed. And he’d found a med pack that let him stitch up the wound to some degree; it was a hack job, but it should do the trick. He’d had worse.

The most important thing was that he found the meds.

The old door of your place creaks as he steps inside, quickly closing it behind him before the cold could enter. It’s futile, really; the wooden pillars are rotten, decaying so badly that the wind sweeps through the cracks with ease, and he can see dustings of snow on the floor around your windows. But he tries anyway.

“Joel?”

There you are.

It’s scary, honestly, what your voice does to him. Even so quiet, so distant from the bedroom upstairs, it lifts the weight from his shoulders that he thought he’d carry forever.

“I’m here, baby. I’m comin’.” He pulls off his shoes, placing them neatly beside the door just how you like, and heads upstairs. His bloodied shirt is long gone, buried in some forgotten corner of the QZ, where he has a collection of discarded items by now.

You don’t reply, he doesn’t expect you to. He reaches your bedroom, gently opening the door and sighing at the sight of you lying there, curled up between mountains of sheets and pillows.

He’d almost think you look peaceful if he didn’t know how much pain you’re in.

“Oh, honey,” he laments, crossing the distance from the door to you and kneeling down beside your head. You open your eyes, though they’re weighed down by exhaustion, and a small smile creeps onto your lips at the sight of the man before you.

“Hi,” you whisper, letting a gentle hand poke out from the duvet and brush his jaw. He can’t help but grin back at you, the total mess that took place just hours ago wiped from his mind completely, and he leans into your touch.

The both of you just stay like that for a moment, your thumb sweeping across his cheek, his eyes never leaving yours. Then you wince, and no matter how much you try to hide it, he can see the wave of pain inflict your body.

“I’ve got your tablets, sweetheart.” He reaches into his pocket, a desperation to his actions now; he hates seeing you like this. You just nod, pushing a meek but honest “thank you” past your lips, so quiet that he almost doesn’t hear it. His heart swells.

Joel presses out one tablet and hands it to you, then picks up the glass of water that stands on your side table, making a mental note to replace it later. You take the pill, grabbing hold of his hand before he can pull it away, and give it a gentle squeeze. He follows your lead and tips the water to your lips once you’ve placed the tablet on your tongue, gently helping you swallow and squeezing your hand right back.

A look of relief washes over your face, and he finally lets himself relax. He stands, letting go of your hand and leaning over to kiss your forehead, before pulling off the clothes he’d taken from Marco’s wardrobe and climbing in beside you.

He only knew heaven in these moments with you, late at night, when your hands reach for him beneath the sheets and your head nuzzles into his neck. It’s no different tonight; he’s quiet, unsure if you’d fallen asleep in those few seconds, and as much as he wishes you’d rest, he can’t deny the way his lips curl when he feels your gentle touch wrap around him.

“How was today? Doing the sewage?”

Joel swallows. “Yeah, yeah. It was fine. Don’t you worry about it, sweetheart.” His arms envelop you, holding you tight against him, one hand drawing gentle circles on your back. He’s lost in the bliss for a moment, letting it wash over him in waves, when your hand brushes his haphazard and you freeze. So does he.

“Joel,” you say; it’s still a whisper, but not the tired kind you’d given him earlier. It’s like you’re too scared to ask. “What’s that?”

He panics, holding you tighter, trying to think. He can’t believe himself for not remembering to cover it, to make sure you didn’t see. 

“There was an accident today. I did some building work before I went to sewage, a pipe fell. Nicked me real bad-” you gasp, forcing yourself to sit up with shaky arms. Joel immediately pulls you back down, his hands grasping your face, staring into your eyes like they held the world inside them. It’s dark, but they glimmer, and he just hopes you can’t see his fear.

“No no. It’s fine, baby. I’m fine. Got seen by the doc, got a couple ‘a stitches. Says i’ll be all good by tomorrow.”

“By tomorrow? Joel that doesn’t sound right-”

He interrupts you. He hates this. “I promise, baby. That’s what she said. I promise.” He wipes a thumb across your cheek, and the way you seem to settle, to believe him, makes him ache. He hates this.

You nuzzle back into his side, placated. You trust him, endlessly, and he hates that he abuses that trust just as much as he needs to protect you. A means to an end, he thinks.

The two of you are silent for a few moments, your hand lay gentle over his wound. Like you’re trying to heal it. He thinks it’s working.

“Thank you for picking up my medicine,” you say.

“It’s okay.” His words are quiet, muffled; he’s got his face buried in your hair now, revelling in your scent, and really, he doesn’t want to talk about this with you. He doesn’t want to lie anymore than he already has.

You’re still oblivious, though. Still sweet.

“I’m so glad you can make my rations cover it. I don’t know what I’d do if they made them more expensive.”

Oh, babygirl, he thinks.

Because your rations don’t cover your medicine. Neither did his. Even combined, they’d hardly cover a drink in the bar these days. He’d seen you work and work and work, in spite of the pain that bloomed in your abdomen and tortured your bones until you could hardly stand up anymore, and he saw the way they laughed in your face and turned you away when you tried to get the help you needed. When you tried to trade your labour for medicine. You were nothing to them.

So he told you he could barter the price down. That it was best if he goes from now on, to make sure you’re not taken advantage of. He takes your rations, stuffs them right back in the savings pot you keep above the shelves in your kitchen, and leaves to make whatever underground deals he needs to in order to get those meds. And you didn’t know a thing.

He must’ve been quiet for a while, because you continue. “And I’m glad you don’t do those scary things anymore.”

That gets his attention. “Scary things?”

“Yeah. Like, the smuggling and stuff.” You take a breath, tighten your arms around his waist. “I mean, I know why you did it. I’m glad you were able to look after yourself.”

Joel curses to himself, unable to wipe the tears that brimmed in his eyes as you spoke, because that would mean letting go of you.

“But I’m also glad you don’t do that anymore. You go out, and you work, even the horrible sewage shifts like tonight.” You giggle, but Joel can’t even force himself to smile. Shame consumes him.

“I’m proud of you, Joel.”

He’s silent. He doesn’t know what to say. He feels like shit.

If you notice his stillness, you don’t mention it. That alone makes his heart ache; you’d always been so understanding, so careful to make sure he’s okay while knowing exactly how to handle his feelings.

It’s odd, really, how fiercely you protect one another. He doesn’t let the darkness of the world so much as touch you, and you extract the horrors from his veins like a vacuum, making him forget the damage was ever even there.

His eyes flitter down, watching you drift asleep, finally at peace and free from pain. He exhales.

He’d never feel good about lying to you. But some things, he thinks, are worth it.

You are worth it.

And so he brushes away the hair that’s fallen over your eyes, trying to fight the droopiness of his own so he can keep them on you for just a second longer. But sleep overtakes him, and the only reason he lets himself fall into dreamland, is because he knows he’ll find you there, too.

[thewritergx]

Truth or Dare Part 1: JJ MaybankxF!Reader

Part 2

Summary: The group decides to play a game of truth or dare, pushing JJ and y/n over the edge. Word Count: 4K

Warnings: Drug and alcohol use, mentions of sex, kissing. No smut in this part. Decided to make this two part because I kind of got carried away with the word count.

Word Count: 4K

Please feel free to like and repost. Click here if you’d like more stories from me

“God, it's hot”, sweat pooled around the bottom of my hair as I placed it in a tight bun. The AC went out days ago. With John still fending for himself, he couldn't exactly afford to get it fixed. I was just thankful he was letting me crash here. My mom was out on a bender, and told me to get the hell out. She did this periodically,  never even giving me time to pack or gather a few days of clothes. 

“Sorry, trying to save up to get it looked at in a few days.” John was in the kitchen, his head stuck in thawled out on the floor in front of us, rolling a blunt with a grape swisher. My favorite. JJ was sprawled out on the floor in front of us, rolling a blunt with a grape swisher. My favorite. I admired the way his fingers rolled it, the way his tongue lightly licked the paper to stick both sides together. He looked good even in the heat, his hair sweaty and skin sticky. JJ wore a loose gray cut-off shirt, his toned shoulders exposed. With every moment I could see the subtle veins in his muscles move and flex. His hat was backwards, like often, and he was sticking the tip of his tongue out a bit, focusing on his rolling. 

He looked up, locking eyes on me. “What, you feenin’ that bad?” JJ smiled. 

I laughed, embarrassed he caught me staring. I annoyingly started crushing on JJ this past summer.It had gotten stronger this past month as JJ started staying at the chateau more and more. After everything that happened with JJ's dad and my mom kicking me out of the house all the time, we understood each other pretty well. John B welcomed us at his house. He always mentioned how quiet it was without his dad here. Most nights, JJ and I slept on a blow-up mattress or the couch. There were nights JJtried to go home, give his dad a chance. Most of those nights he showed up at 3AM, lightly tapping on the window for me to let him in. John B had basically tuned his hose into a homeless shelter. 

Sometimes, I thought I would catch JJ eyes lingering on me as I sat across the room or when I was wearing something a bit revealing, but I could never really catch him. There was tension in the air some nights, but JJ never acted on it. I thought about mentioning my crush to him a few times but I knew he was loyal to the rules. No pogue on pogue macking being one of the few. It might have sounded stupid now, especially after Pope and Kie worked out so well together. There was no drama with them, no fights causing tension with the group. The rule just sounded dumb now. 

“I was watching the way you roll, can never get mine that tight,” I lied. Weed. A good distraction for JJ. 

“Here, let me show you,” JJ patted the ground next to him, moving a few things so I would have space to sit. I took a seat in a criss-cross-apple-sauce position, our shoulda lightly brushed and I tried to ignore how hot and smooth his skin felt against mine.

“Here take this one”, JJ handed me a swisher, the tobacco thrown on a plate in front of us. He grabbed my fingers gently, instructing me on how to rub up and down in a quick delicate motion. I felt my face get as he held my hands in his. “Oh, yeah. See, that looks great. Good job” JJ smiled, pressing his shoulder a bit more into mine. 

I laughed “Thank you, Professor Maybank. Outstanding lesson”. I handed the fresh blunt to JJ and he took out a baby blue lighter. 

“Hey, you lighter thief. That's mine.” I scolded him. “I've been looking for that.”

He laughed again. “Yeah well, wanted to carry you with me.” 

A gentle knock on the door followed as Pope and Kiara walked in, carrying a pack of beer and popsicles.

I sprung up. “Dear god, give me one of those.” I geeked excitedly. My mouth was so dry. 

Kiara laughed, handing me a red colored cherry popsicle. I undid the wrapper, and licked it slowly. 

I took my seat down to my JJ again. It was so hot the popsicle was melting on my hand already. I sucked off the juice, bringing my fingers to my mouth. JJ finally lit the perfect blunt, and took a short hit. He motioned to me and brought it to my mouth, the b, unt between two fingers. I attempted not to make eye contact as I breathed in, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from him. We stayed like this for a second before I blew the smoke gently towards him. Of course, I had to start coughing, my throat on fire. 

“Alright, just breathe.” JJ padded my back. I nodded my head and sucked in the hot air, trying to breathe the smoke feeling away. 

JJ grabbed the blunt, passing it over to Kie and Pope. Pope surprisingly hit it, something we didn't see him do often. He made a sore, sour face when he finished, immediately grabbing for water.

My lungs had finally stopped burning and I licked the popsicle a few times, the cold ice beating the dryness of my tongue. I let out a low slow moan at the chillness. Cherry was always my favorite. Bright, hot, red. I sucked a bit at the tip, juice filling my mouth. 

JJ, looked over. I could tell by his shifting and clenched jaw he was uncomfortable. Maybe the weed got him nervous or something. I grabbed his shoulder, the room slightly spinning. I was always light weight and JJ always had the strongest shit.

“J’ you okay?” I asked, taking a small bite off the top of the popsicle. 

JJ smirked a bit, his head tilted slightly to the side. “I’m doing just fine, y/n”, he spoke.

Sarah took a small hit, almost gagging. She was still getting used to our life, but she was open to trying as many new things as possible. I remember the first time she smoked. She stayed up all night counting the stars. She kept messing up and having to start over again. She handles it a lot better now.

We each passed it around a few more times, I stopped after three hits. It's all I could take before becoming a puddle on the carpet. It was getting dark out now and since it was our last weekend before school I knew the group would get a bit crazy.

“Come on, let's go take a dip in the hot tub,” Kiara exclaimed. She undid her shorts and t-shirt, leaving her in a light purple bikini. It complemented her skin tone beautifully.

“Bet, gotta change first.” In a corner of the living room, JJ's and I’s clothes were thrown in cheap dollar store bins. Most of my stuff was left at my mom’s house. All I really had here were the clothes I was wearing and things Kiara and Sarah let me steal. Mostly stuff they didn't wear or was gifted to them.

I dug around in the bin, looking for a swimsuit I was pretty sure Sarah threw in. Hopefully, it actually fits. I was a bit thicker than the two girls, so some things were a smidge too tight. 

I finally found the top and bottom pieces. It was a dark cheetah print pattern and honestly very sexy. But, it absolutely didn't match Sarah's clean girl aesthetic. I held it up to the room. “Okay, this is what I got.” JJ, let out a low whisper and I rolled my eyes. Maybe I'd just wear shorts and a crop top.

“Wow, I bought that for Sarah. Can't believe she won't wear it”, John B laughed as he stood in the doorway, his face a bit red.

“I have plenty of swimsuits, John. That was just the one I thought y/n would like the most. Fits her ‘bad girl’ look, don't yall think?” Sarah smiled, walking me to the bathroom so we could both change.

It was a small dim lit room with a slightly crusty mirror. One of my goals while staying here was to help John clean it up a bit. JJ was surprisingly a big help, always trying to assist with the small cores around the house. I washed the dishes, he dried them. I put clothes in the washing machine, and he folded them. It was sweet of him, especially since I never asked.

“You're going to look so good girl. Here, turn so I can tie the straps”. Sarah grabbed the two thin straps and tied them in a cute bow behind my neck, holding my tits at a great height. 

The bottoms fit me really well too. I was a bit surprised at how much I liked it. Usually I would dress more modestly. Most of my bikini covered my chest pretty well and I usually opted for something less cheeky. It was a bit tight around my hips, but the thong style made my ass look amazing. Sarah gave me a light tap on one of my ass cheeks. 

“Oh yeah y/n. You need to wear that to the next beach party, take a new man home with that thing.” I laughed and Sarah fixed my hair, pulling it down my back. 

“I don’t know. It’s kinda… a lot.” I laughed. 

“Oh come on, you need to embrace that body you got.” Sarah rushed me out of the bathroom before I got a chance to reply. Honestly I was thankful. Sometimes I needed a light push. 

By the time we walked out, everyone else was in the hot tub. I grabbed a few towels from the tub and the case of beer Pope brought. I was a bit nervous about what the guys would say to be honest. They always hit on us girls, but mostly they remained playful. I just didn't want them to get carried away. 

I met JJ’s eyes as we walked outside to the hot tub, a hot blush spread across my cheeks. I heard Pope mumble a “goddamn” and Kie slap him across his bare chest. 

“You look so good, y/n.” Kie yelled, her voice honest and pure. 

JJ remained quiet but he watched closely as I sat across from him. I felt tense but the hot water washed away any anxiety I was feeling. I silently handed JJ a bear as he sifted around slowly. His face back to that uncomfortable feeling. 

“Thanks,” he pretty much whispered inaudibly. He had ditched his shirt and hat, his upper body completely exposed. I tried not to focus on it too much and opted instead to close my eyes. I let the water engulf me, take my body to a place of pure relaxation. I let my eyes focus on the classic rock music JJ played in the background. He had good taste. 

“Okay, have an idea,” Pope spoke up. “Let's play Truth or Dare.” 

“That’s kinda cringe”, Kie laughed. 

“Oh, come on. I've never played.” Pope’s smile fainted a bit. Sometimes I forget how innocent he used to be. So much has changed this summer. 

“Yeah, sure Pope. That sounds fun to me.” I lied. To be honest, it did sound cringe. But Pope never brings stuff like this up and I could tell he was having a good time.

“Alright fine, I’ll play”. Kie low-key rolled her eyes but wore a fake smile.

“Okay, then I'll go first”, Pope said. “John, truth or dare?”

John B looked a bit spooked. “Pope, I don't trust how mischievous you look right now. I’m goin’ truth.”

“Okay, scaredy cat”, Sarah light-heartedly joked.

“Hmmm…I got it. What is the first thing you’ll do when you find the gold?” Pope asked.

“Oh, starting deep,” JJ mumbled. He was shifting around a bit. I could tell something was off.

“I don't know. I mean, I never even thought about it. Maybe just clean up this place. Build a house big enough to fit all the homeless friends I have.” John’s face was in wonder as he fantasized about the future. It was sweet. His first thought was all of us. Sarah let out a faint “awww”.

“Okay, guess I’ll pick someone…Sarah. Truth or Dare?” John B wore an obvious smirk.

“John, why?” Sarah shook her hair softly. “I guess dare but only cuz I'm not a chicken like you.” She joked again.

“Fine, I dare you to let me give you a hickey. Anywhere you like”, John’s smile was wide now.

“John, you know I hate those.” She frowned. Sarah was still breaking out of her shell. Never too loud or obvious about the sexual relationship her and John shared.  

“Dare is a dare,” John stated confidently. Sarah let out a deep sigh and moved closer to John B. 

“Fine, you can put one on my neck. A small one.” She huffed. She moved her hair to free the base of her neck. She laughed a bit but was still slightly angry as John B lightly sucked on her neck. To be honest it was a bit awkward. Especially because I was close enough to hear the little groans John B let out. 

I looked at JJ. He paid close attention to the two, a bit too much. His cheeks were a bit red, his jaw tight and lips closed. I think he noticed by gaze because he quickly made eye contact with me before dropping his eyes to the water. 

“Okay, okay. Get off me” Sarah chuckled. “That tickles”.

“This was a great idea, Pope.” John B wore the smile of a champion like he was seeing his family for the first time after a long battle. We all laughed a bit, except JJ who sat eerily quiet.

“Y/N truth or dare?” Sarah questioned excitedly. 

“Um, I guess I'll go with truth.” I answered. 

“Okay… Tell us about a crush you have. If you do have one.” It was a fairly innocent question but it held a lot of weight.

“Oh um.. Okay. Yeah, I do kinda have one. I guess. He’s really smart, more than people give him credit for. Funny, always smells really good. Also, super strong. He's got like a sleeper build where you can't tell how much muscles he has until he uses them”. I rambled, probably embarrassing myself.

“Aww, that's so nice. Any guy would be so lucky” Sarah responded. 

“Wait, oh my god. I know who you're talking about. That guy you work with? Is his name Chris?” Kie was genuinely excited. I didn't talk about boys often, mostly because the one I wanted was sitting right here with us. I didn't have the heart to tell her that 1. Chris is gay, and 2. He was nothing like what I just described.

“How’d you know”. I tried to play it cool, change the subject as soon as possible.

“Y/n, I hate to break it to you but that man does play on your field. If you know what I mean.” JJ finally spoke up. His face was in a slight frown and his eyebrows were tight. He looked mad but I could tell at what. 

“Okay mister, gaydar. Your turn” I spoke quickly. 

“Dare me,” He shot back just as fast. 

“Okay, you were quick with that. Let me think. How about…you race me in shotgunning one of these beers?” JJ loved competitions. I thought maybe another drink would loosen him up more. 

“Oh, sweetheart. You're going down, you know that right?” I ignored his pet name, trying not to linger on it for more than a moment. JJ finally had a smile and I was confident my theory had proved successful. I grabbed two beers out of the case. Might as well drink them since Pope went through the trouble of stealing from the gas station. JJ grabbed his pocket knife he kept on the edge of the hot tub, perfect for moments like this. He poked holes in the bottoms of each can. I grabbed one, holding it at a side angle. Then, I fetched into position, my finger hovering just over the tab. I swear he was staring me down, his eyes digging daggers into me. 

“Okay. Ready. Set. Go.” Kie counted down fast. 

I brought the can to my mouth immediately, pulling the tab and suckling at the whole. I tried my hardest to get as much down as I could. JJ clearly was in no playing mood. By the time I took three swallows he was already done. He crushed the can, throwing it over his shoulder behind the hot tub. 

“Told ya, can't beat me.” He had definitely perked back up. The group laughed and I finished my beer. It tasted like shit but I tried to play it cool. Beer had run down my chest, signing the crease between my breasts. JJ quickly looked them up and down and shifted a bit more angrily. I don't understand. He literally just won. 

“Kie, truth or dare?” JJ finally turned away from me, breaking his eye contact and looking towards Kie. 

“You know I'm always gonna pick dare.” Kie was wrapped under Pope’s arm. They looked comfy.

“I dare you and Pope to show us your favorite sex position.” JJ laughed. He knew they would hate this. Pope was still so shy when it came to sex and Kie was just a private person overall.

“That’s it?” Kie raised an eyebrow. “So easy”. Kie, stood for a moment, positioning Pope so that he was bent on his knees. Then he hovered her ass just above his pelvis. “Doggy, but kinda closer. That way we can still kiss and I don't feel so gross after”. Pope’s face was as blushed as I'd ever seen it. He grabbed Kie’s hips and brought them up and down slightly. 

“Okay, okay. Don't show them all of my girl’s moves.” Pope mumbled. 

“We should try that,” John motioned to Sarah. 

“Okay, Pope’s got the moves. I am satisfied. JJ smirked. 

“Hmm, who should I pick? I guess me and Pope technically just went. Y/N I'll choose you. Truth or dare.” She asked.

“Well, I just picked the truth. So I'll go with a dare”. I was honestly a bit nervous. Kie knew how to stir the pot. I think she was low-key picking up on the crush I developed. She sometimes shot looks at me if JJ and I were alone or a bit closer to each other than the rest of the group. 

“Ooh, good choice. I dare you to sit in JJ’s lap until I say to stop or until we get tired of playing.” Her face was serious. She did know, that just confirmed it. 

I thought about it for a moment and it didn't seem too crazy. I mean I sat next to him everyday and sometimes I had to sit in his lap if we took Pope’s truck. It wasn't completely new. I looked at JJ. Great. He looks pissed again. Was sitting that close to me so bad, I thought to myself.

I felt my own smile drop a bit.

“Okay, yeah. I guess”. I moved across the hot tub, fixing the string of my bikini that had moved just a bit too far up my ass cheeks. I turned my back to JJ and sat my legs between one of his. He let out a soft breath. He shifted a bit, trying to get comfortable as I set down. 

“You’re light”, he spoke plainly. No hint of any emotion in his voice. 

“John, truth or dare?” I smiled. Please pick dare. 

“Since my girlfriend made fun of me last time, I’ll pick a dare”. John had a fake sarcastic tone. 

Yes. “John, I dare you to give us the best rendition of a Broadway dance you possibly can.” I was relying not to laugh too much, imagining his awkward moves. 

John got out of the tub, standing in the dirt and grass next to us. I played the only broadway song I knew, something from Hamilton. The Whole group watched him, letting out high pitched yays and laughs. 

I tried to stay still as I watched John’s moves but the water made JJ’s thighs too slippery. His shorts gave a bit of resistance but not enough to keep me balanced. Each time I got comfortable I would slide down a bit, causing me to move around even more. 

“Quit moving,” He whispered. His voice was dark.

“Sorry, the water is slippery. It's kinda hard to stay balanced.” I tried not to make our struggle obvious to the group who had begun to watch John B try to do the perfect cartwheel. JJ let out another sigh. This time deeper with a bit more annoyance. He brought one arm across my waist, holding me up tightly into him. His forearms were toned, that sleeper build I mentioned earlier. 

“That better?” He asked. 

“Yeah, thanks.” I mumbled. His fingers lightly grazed my side, sending a tingling sensation throughout my entire body. I tried to shake it off, focus on anything else. He was warm against me, his chest pressed into my also bare back. The only thing between us was the thin straps holding up my top. 

As time went on, and John’s dance ended, I felt JJ become more and more stir-crazy. He bounced the leg I was straddling lightly. I tried my hardest not to grind on him, the soft tapping motion on my core was driving me crazy. His shorts rubbed against my thigh and exposed ass. The thong allowing me to feel every fiber under me. I wanted to run for the hills but I knew I wouldn't. He gripped me tighter like he thought I might actually really runway the second he let go. Then he started making slow up-and-down strokes against my side with his thumb. I swear he was teasing me, trying to see just how much of him I could take before I actually did anything.

The group praised John B. “An excellent performance”, I laughed. He breathed heavily as he got back into the water, taking his seat next to Sarah agin. 

“Alright y/n, I’m out for revenge now’. John smirked. “Pope, truth or dare?” John’s chest rose and fell softly, clearly still a bit tired. 

“Truth,” Pope responded. 

JOhn B asked Pope some question about losing his virginity. Pope went on a long rant and the group listened as he described a girl he met during summer break his sophomore year. 

JJ shifted a few times as he listened to the story. My blood ran hot as he moved his free hand and placed a tight grip on my thigh. “Sorry, felt like you were slipping still”. He mumbled into my neck, closer now than he was before. 

“It’s cool”, I played it off but my cheeks were bright red. I hoped the rest of the group didn't notice how obviously turned on I was by him. I let myself relax a but more into him, snuggling more against his chest. I tried to ignore the obvious poking sensation I felt at the base of my back. Clearly JJ was trying to stay as calm as possible too. 

Pope finally finished his story, Kie looking a bit surprised at the new learned information. That could be a problem later, I thought. “JJ, your turn. Truth or dare?” 

“Hit me with your worst, bro. Can’t scare me.” JJ’s voice was loud in my ear, “dare.”

“I was hoping you’d pick that. I felt JJ’s chest vibrate against me as he took a deep breath. “Clearly something is going on there”, Pope motioned to our closeness. “I dare you to kiss, y/n. Nothing too much, just whatever your feeling” 

Everyone in the group goes quiet. I feel a rush of cold wind hit my face. Why, why, why is all I could think. I wasn't even sure if JJ even really wanted to do this or if it was beer and weed making him so reactive to my touch. 

“Pope, really?” JJ’s face was angry, his voice hot as metal left out in the summer sun. 

“Well. you don't have to but that does make you the loser.” Pope smirked.

“I aint no pussy bro, and I definitely aint a loser.” I felt JJ turn me a little, pulling my face closer to his. I stayed quiet, a chill running through me as I met his eyes. JJ met my gaze for what seemed to be minutes. He finally broke away, looking down at my lips. He moved his hand from my thigh and placed it softly on my chin, bringing my lips at the perfect angle for him to finally place his. He leaned in softly, his lips soft and plump. It felt like heaven and i didnt want to stop. I could tell he didn't either/ The kiss grew a bit heavier. To be honest I forgot the whole group was staring at us. JJ let out a deep groan, moving his hand down my back, arching it a bit to add more force. 

I hear someone clear their throat, making me rip away suddenly. It was clear the energy has changed amongst us. JJ looked a bit spooked, like he could tell if what just happened was real or not. 

“I think that calls it. I'm going to bed”, John Spoke out. 

“Yeah, I should probably be heading home. Parents ya know,” Pope laughed. 

The group made their separate ways, leaving me and JJ hot and gasping for air. We sat obviously still, both of us too afraid to move. Too afraid to speak. 

[littleplantfreak]

Chatterbox Pt. 1 - SFW

>Their calling/texting habits, especially with a partner that loves to be on the phone for hours (part two with the others dropping tomorrow I promise!!)

Hayato Suo - Phone? What phone? Just kidding. He texts a regular amount, but if you wanna be on the phone for a while, his limit is usually an hour unless you're both planning a date or something. He'd prefer to be with you in person otherwise. Invite him over~ He'll bring snacks and drinks for you.

Sakura Haruka- Better on calls than he is on texts for sure. Takes a long time to figure out what to talk about when you two do have calls. Likes to keep them half an hour or shorter regularly. If it's a special occasion or you're on vacation, he doesn't mind if the call goes longer, wanting to hear your voice even if it's only been a day since you left. Accidentally calls you on facetime a lot instead of like...a regular call. So you just see his ear or neck, or it's just completely dark.

Nirei Akihiko - Can talk for hours without fail. He does have an exact bed time that he sticks to though, so while he wants to keep talking, he's about 2 minutes from passing out on the floor. Has call parties that are so chaotic but insanely fun that everyone ends up cracking up during. Added Sakura to one of your calls before, but then Sakura thought you were WITH Nirei. "Sakura-san we're all on different phones." "But you both sound like you're in the same room???"

Kiryu Mitsuki - Calls you when he's gaming and you both just stay on the phone as a way of hanging out. Sometimes forgets you're on the phone and starts humming one of the osts and it sounds sooo nice. He'd sleep with the call still going if it wouldn't completely drain his phone battery. Depends on the day, but when he hasn't seen you in a bit, he's like "Just come over please."

Tsugeura Taiga - Loves calls too. Will call you when he's working out to show you that he hit his new goal. "Babe check out my form, let me know if you think my posture's off" And your just on facetime while he's in his local gym? He asks the people he's with if it's alright first though. Loves chatting or listening equally, so if you just want to hear his voice? He's got plenty to say.

Sugishita Kyotaro - He'll listen if you wanna chat as long as you want, he just doesn't say much. If the call goes on longer than 2 hours he might end up falling asleep. He has to be extra careful with his phone because he's prone to breaking it. It's got the strongest screen protector and case known to man. Actually waterproof at this point probably. Likes to send one set of character emojis when texting and just that set. He's got a special ringtone for you set, and answers it on the first ring every time.

Hiragi Toma - He's fine with calling or texting, but doesn't wanna be on the phone forever. If you have something to say, that's one thing, but if you're gonna talk his ear off, he's also one to just want you to come see him. Actually takes cute candids (unlike Ume who is a menace with them) and has one as your contact pic. Sometimes he looks at it and his stomach feels just a bit better during an attack.

Umemiya Hajime - GOSSIP GIRL FR! He's on the phone with you for hours telling you the juiciest secrets he's found out during the day. If you call him up at 3am cause you had the wildest dream? He's answering and talking about it with you until you're ready to fall back asleep. Has the UGLIEST candid of you you've ever seen and it's your contact pic smh. He has other ACTUALLY cute pictures of you on his phone but he's adamant that you look beautiful in all of them. If he's busy doing something, he'll pass his phone around to either his friends or Kotoha and the kids when he's home to keep you company. Kinda like those "Hey can you watch my boss for me for a second?" Tiktoks?

[maimingaffairs]

Hey, could I please request something for Aleksander x femReader where the Reader is a Star Summoner? He and Reader have been friends since they where children and have walked the earth together since then. They always thought that the love they have for the other is just friendship, but boy where they wrong...Their friendship takes a hit during the whole Alina in the Little Palace time...Reader knows about the plan to expand the fold and is all for it, she just really doesnt like Alina....Anyway, during the events on the skiff when Alina runs, Reader and Aleksander get separated and believe the other to be dead...They go on to free Grisha on their own. After some time they meet and in the heat of the moment he kisses her...They finaly confess their feelings...After that they go on to win the war...After they win they get crowned King and Queen and bring peace to Ravka, but expecialy to the Grisha...

this was another 3am write, i yet again apologize for that. also, i apologize for how long it took for me to finish this. i have been in Tennessee all weekend seeing taylor swift... anyways... anon thank u so much for this beautiful req. i hope that it is to your liking

warnings: canon typical violence, mentions of blood

word count: 8.2k

Are There Still Beautiful Things? (aleksander morozova x fem!reader)

-

“One more time, please?”

“You’ve said that four times, Aleksander.”

“And I’ll say it four more if I must. It’s beautiful.”

You looked over at your best friend and gave him a little smile and rolled your eyes. 

“Your mother is not going to be happy when you don’t get inside.” You remarked and then nodded at his hands once. 

The two of you laid underneath a large tree just outside of his home, just as you did almost every other night. You’d been best friends with the boy ever since the two of you were little children, and now here the the two of you were, barely fourteen, and you were still yet to be rid of that childlike wonder. 

“I don’t really care. She won’t get mad, she likes you enough.” He insisted and reached out to gently grab your hand, “One more time, I swear this is the last one. Please?”

You looked into his dark, round eyes and you nodded once, conceding under his pleading stare. 

“Okay.  One more time.” You giggled and squeezed his hand once. 

The two of you intertwined your fingers and Aleksander raised his free hand to conjure a thin sheet of shadows just above your heads as you looked up at the space around you. 

The stars and the moon above your heads disappeared behind the shadows he conjured and you reached up to drag your fingertips through the inky darkness above your heads. Finally, you flexed your hands and clasped them together for just a moment before you opened your palms up towards the shadows, sending little glittering shards of soft white light up into the shadows. Aleksander marveled at the sight for a while, and you turned your head to marvel at him.

Sometimes when you did this, the two of you would spend hours making up your own constellations and galaxies within the self-made stars and sky that you’d both created. This wasn’t one of those times, though. The dark haired boy next to you leaned over and placed a little kiss on your cheek before he reached up and shooed away the shadows he’d created. 

“Okay, I said it was the last time and I meant it. See?” He teased 

You giggled and nodded, watching as he pushed himself up off of the ground and held his hands out for you to take. 

“Let’s go inside, yeah? My mother will likely beat me with a stick for not coming in an hour ago.” He said and gave you that charming smile that you had come to love so much over the years. 

“Okay.” You answered softly and reached up to take his hands. 

-

Aleksander’s hands clasped around yours tightly as he swung himself down off of his tall horse and he gave you a small, soft smile. He leaned down to press a hello kiss to your cheekbone and then let go of your hands, and you lowered them back to your sides. 

“Well, I see that the Little Palace is still intact and hasn’t been burned to the ground yet, so I assume my time away wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.” 

His voice soothed you more than just the sight of him and you let out a relieved sigh, straightening out your kefta. 

“It was bad. For me, at least. I had no one to bother. Stop running off.” You replied, earning a lazy smile from him. 

Aleksander shook his head with a quiet whisper of a laugh and he turned around. In his last letter to you, he raved about how he’d found the Sun Summoner at long last. 

The girl perched upon his horse must have been her. 

She was pretty, despite her state. Days of riding had put her hair into tangles and there was dirt caked underneath her fingernails and smudged across her cheeks. Aleksander helped the slender girl off of his horse and he motioned towards you once she was securely on her feet. 

“Miss Starkov, this is y/n. Star Summoner and my right hand.” 

Her eyes traveled over you, up and down a few times. The ghost of a disdainful look crossed her face and then she gave you a curt nod. 

“Lovely to make your acquaintance.” She replied briskly and gave you one more look up and down before she clasped her hands behind her back. 

You eyed her cautiously in return and then gave her a small hum. 

“Likewise, Miss Starkov.” You replied in the same clipped tone. 

The girl watched you as if you were a current threat to her and you slowly shifted your gaze to Aleksander who was looking over his shoulder at Ivan. You cleared your throat, effectively capturing his attention and he turned back to the two of you and then nodded towards the palace. 

“Meet me in my chambers, would you, y/n?” He asked and you gave him a nod. 

Alina didn’t even give you a second glance, turning her head up to face somewhere between Aleksander and the doors to the palace. You blinked a few times, taken aback by her coldness and you slowly moved away from the two of them. You bunched the skirt of your dress up in one hand and made your way back inside the palace, greeting a few of the Grisha that had gathered around the entrance, wanting to catch a glimpse of the Sun Summoner. You shouldered your way inside and made a beeline for Aleksander’s chambers, letting out a little huff. 

“You’re in an awful hurry.” A voice called out behind you and you turned around with a relieved smile when you saw Baghra. 

You stopped walking and waited for the older woman to make her way to you and she gently hooked her arm with yours and let out a sigh. 

“So, this is it.” She said simply and walked with you as you continued down the hall, now going at a pace she could easily maintain. 

“I suppose so,” you mused and then you let out a tiny scoff, “I would’ve thought she’d at least be a bit more… pleasant.” You stated and glanced over at her. 

She shrugged a bony shoulder and she drummed her thin fingers against your arm. 

“Well, from what I understand, this is all new to her. Imagine finding out one day into your adult life that you are the Sun Summoner, prophesied for centuries. I’m sure she’s a bit apprehensive, my dear girl.” Baghra reasoned and then gave you a tired smile. 

“Perhaps. Where are you headed this afternoon?” You asked softly and led her through the winding halls to Aleksander’s chambers. 

You had known Baghra since you were only four years old, and she had always been nothing but kind to you, taking you in eventually once you grew older. Your parents never were fond of you being Grisha. She was often viewed as bitter and harsh by others, but you had nothing but admiration and love for Aleksander’s mother. 

“I came to seek you out. I figured you’d either be outside with my son or you’d be headed to his quarters. Seems I was correct.”

She usually was. 

“Oh? Is there anything I can do for you?” You asked her softly and she simply patted your arm before speaking. 

“Just make sure he doesn’t make poor choices. Please. You’ve always been his voice of reason. He cares for you like you would never imagine.” She hummed and then looked up at you. 

You gazed down at the woman and then gave her a small smile in return, giving her arm an affectionate squeeze with your own. 

“Well, I care for him like he could never imagine so I suppose it works out, doesn’t it?” You asked and then leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek. 

“I care for you, too, you know. You are the child I never birthed. I am thankful for you. He needs you. You remind him to be polite and kind, and he reminds you to utilize your power and your cleverness.” She said with a little sigh. 

When you two approached the doors to Aleksander’s chambers, you pushed them open for her and she let go of your arm and wandered inside and you followed behind her, closing the doors behind you. 

“I must know, and you need to tell me the truth, darling. Does my son have ulterior motives with the Sun Summoner?” She asked and turned around slowly to face you. 

You met her eyes and then shook your head before you gave her a shrug as well.

“Not that he’s told me of. I mean, we don’t discuss the Sun Summoner often. And when we have it’s always been hypothetical. This is the first time we’ve been faced with a reality with her in it.” You explained. 

Lie. You lied. 

You knew very well what Aleksander planned to do with The Fold. You felt a bit of shame as you lied to Baghra, but you swallowed it down like dry bread and kept your eyes on hers. 

“Time will tell I suppose. It was lovely to see you, y/n. Come and see me for tea tomorrow afternoon if you can sneak away from Aleksander. I know he doesn’t much like to share you.” 

You watched as she walked to the far side of the room and pressed her fingers against a wall panel and it slid open. 

“I’ll cross my fingers that I see you tomorrow. Until then, behave.” She said with an affectionate smile and you gave her a little wave as she disappeared into the wall. 

You stood in the middle of Aleksander’s war room for a while before you took your kefta off and laid it against the large table in the middle of the room and you wandered into his bedroom. You let out a long sigh as you walked towards his bed, and as soon as you were close enough, you tossed yourself backwards onto it. 

You wondered where Aleksander was and realized he must be busy with the Sun Summoner. 

The Sun Summoner. Your stomach turned a bit and you sneered to nothing in particular. You could already see where this was heading. He had to devote time to her, you knew that. But you weren’t excited to share his attention. After all, you’d been the main recipient of it for the last five hundred years. You stared up at the ceiling and a little pit began to form in your stomach at the thought of Aleksander giving his attention to her and you shook your head, trying to clear the thought from your mind, pushing it down as far as it could go. 

He devoted time and attention to his army, to other Grisha, to his mother, the royal family… the list could go on. So why was this different? 

You feared you knew the answer and you shoved it out of your mind as fast as the thought could take form, but the feeling lingered nonetheless. 

It was different because you had feelings for Aleksander.

-

“Oh, Saint’s sake, Zoya! I asked you to be gentle today!” You called to the Squaller. 

She looked over at you after she had yet again, knocked down one of the trainees cruelly in combat and she gave you a shrug. 

“They aren’t going to get the option of gentleness in a real combat situation, Miss y/l/n!” She called back at you with a grin. 

It had been nearly a month since Alina had arrived at the Little Palace, and Aleksander was adamant that you oversaw her training. You stood off to the side with your hands clasped behind your back, watching all the trainees carefully. You oversaw almost all of the combat training these days, as you were quite skilled in combat. You glanced out over the small group of new Grisha and you pointed at Alina, beckoning her forward. 

“Alina, darling. Why don’t you go next? I’ve seen you beat Zoya before.” You suggested and the girl eyed you discontentedly. 

She slowly stepped forward and then folded her arms over her chest. She looked Zoya up and down before she turned her head and looked at you, her eyes narrowing just slightly. 

“I don’t appreciate how you’re singling me out. It’s a bit eerie how obsessed with me you seem to be.” She called out to you. 

Your eyebrows shot up challengingly and you stared her down, daring her to say another word.  When she didn’t, you spoke. 

“Obsessed with you? Please, don’t flatter yourself, Miss Starkov. Nearly everyone has taken their turn today, and now it is yours.” You replied coolly. 

Zoya shifted awkwardly where she stood and then she glanced up at you. You gave her a little nod and then waved your hand once. 

“If there are no more interruptions, let’s start.” You instructed and lowered your hands down to your sides, flexing them frustratedly. 

“I’m not going to.” Alina said sharply. 

You folded your arms across your chest and watched her amusedly. 

“And you think your belligerence is going to get you anywhere? You need a reality check, Starkov.” You remarked and watched as she rolled her eyes at you. 

“The Darkling wouldn’t-“ 

“The Darkling wouldn’t appreciate the way you’re speaking to his second in command. So spar or don’t, but either way you will walk yourself down to his chambers and tell him yourself just how you spoke to me and how you refused to be compliant with your trainers.” You stated and watched as she shook her head. 

She muttered something out from under her breath and then she spun on her heel and turned in the opposite direction and walked haughtily away from you and the rest of the Grisha. 

You watched as she marched off and then turned towards the trainees that were gathered around you. 

“You are all dismissed for today. I have some business I should attend to.” You said in a flat tone and didn’t wait a second longer before you made the brief walk from the training yard to Aleksander’s chambers inside of the Little Palace. 

You didn’t bother knocking on his doors and you flung them open, marching inside of his war room with a frown across your lips. Your eyes fell upon him as he leaned over his war table and you walked up to his side, allowing the door to shut behind you. 

“You are displeased.” He remarked without even looking up at you. 

“What gave it away?” You huffed, leaning your waist up against the edge of the table. 

“You didn’t announce yourself. And you’re stomping.” He slowly turned his head up towards you. 

You stared into his dark eyes and then sighed. You leaned over to rest your head against his shoulder and you frowned. 

“Your Sun Summoner is not a very kind person. I’m tired of her disrespect towards me.” You mumbled and you felt Aleksander chuckle. 

You stood up straight just as he did and you shook your head. 

“What’s funny about that? I’m very serious.” You stated and folded your arms over your chest. 

“I’m sure she doesn’t mean to disrespect you. She’s probably just a bit homesick.  She’s tired of being here. Don’t take it personally.” He advised and then reached over to rub your arm reassuringly. 

You gaped at him and knitted your brows together. 

“Don’t take it personally? If I had complained about anyone else disrespecting me, you would’ve seen to their swift punishment. Why is it different when it’s her?” You asked incredulously, a little pang of sadness resonating through your stomach, up through your chest. 

“It’s not different. I just… don’t know what you want me to do.” He said exhaustedly and then he rubbed his face and stared down at you. 

“I want you to put an end to it! I am your second in command. Your best friend. I have known you since you were a child, Aleksander! I expect you to stand up for me!” You exclaimed and threw your hands up in the air. 

Aleksander bitterly let out a laugh and he shook his head once. 

“Please. You sound ridiculous. I think that you’re jealous.” He remarked and folded his arms across his lean chest. 

“Jealous? Excuse me?” You sputtered and then gave him a nasty look, “Of Alina? What planet do you live on, Aleksander? I could end her with the flick of my wrist.” You countered angrily. 

“You could not. We both know she’s more powerful than you. You seem to detest that. Trust me, I’ve wished for you to be as powerful as her many times before.” He snapped coldly and you blinked at him a few times. 

As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew they couldn’t be taken back. The look of shock on your face slowly turned to sadness and then shame and your eyes filled with hot tears. You looked down at the floor and your chin wobbled a few times before you looked back up at him. You squared your shoulders and sniffled back your tears, looking at him sadly. 

He felt as if you’d taken his heart out and crushed it in your fingers just from the look in your eyes alone and he opened his mouth to apologize. 

He hadn’t meant a word he’d just spoken to you. Your powers had always been the most beautiful things in the world to him. 

You cut him off before he could even speak. 

“She will never stay by your side like me. Her power may be greater than mine, but her devotion and love for you is not. That is the one thing you’ll never find again, Aleksander.” You said in a harsh tone, barely above a whisper. 

He reached out for your arm but you recoiled backwards as if he was lightning and you shook your head, “Don’t touch me. Don’t speak to me. Don’t think of me. Just leave me alone.” You hissed and then turned around and stormed out of his room. 

And for the first time in a long time, as soon as you reached the security of your own room, you allowed yourself to cry.

-

It had been nearly a month since your fight with Aleksander, and you had avoided him successfully. At first, he tried to approach you. But you easily evaded his presence each time. You stopped overseeing training and did what you could to avoid Alina, too. You spent most of your time with Baghra now, and tonight was no different. 

It was the winter fete, and you had decided not to go. Aleksander had sent you an elegant invitation and a beautiful, grandiose black dress with pearly white embroidery of constellations and swirls of stars. You’d taken the box to his door and left it there without another word. 

You sat in a chair next to Baghra and she let out a soft sigh, passing you a little lap blanket as you sipped on the tea she had kindly made for you. 

You stared into her little fireplace and you turned to look at her to find that her eyes were already fixed on you. 

“I wish desperately that you were the Sun Summoner.” Baghra spoke softly and you frowned, setting your tea down on the little table next to you. 

“You and Aleksander both.” You said coldly and moved to rise from the chair you were in. 

She reached out and grabbed your wrist gently, shaking her head once. 

“No. Not like that. I wish that it would’ve been you. You are the only one who sees him for who he is. The only person that can see past  The Darkling and instead see Aleksander.” She said with a small frown. 

You sunk back into the chair and held your hand over your face, a frown etching itself onto your lips. 

“It wouldn’t make a difference. I’m not enough for him regardless.” You said slowly and spread the little blanket that she had handed you out over your lap.

The old woman simply shrugged and let out a dejected sigh, leaning her chin against her hand.

“May I ask you a question? I need your honesty.” 

You glanced up at her and you hesitantly nodded once. You leaned forward a bit in your chair, curious to hear what she had to ask.

“You know him best. He tells you everything. So tell me- truthfully- what are my son’s intentions with the Sun Summoner? Does he really mean to vanquish The Fold?”

You eyed Baghra with a slight frown and then you leaned back in your chair, folding your arms across your chest.

“I think if you are asking me again, you already know the answer.” 

The room around the two of you was silent, save for the crackling of her fireplace. You met her eyes and she stared back at you with something between disappointment and fear.

“You lied the first time I asked.”

“Yes.” 

Her mouth twisted a bit but she didn’t say anything else for a moment and she instead looked in your eyes with intent.

“I’m sorry.” You said quietly and shifted your eyes down to your lap.

“I don’t fault you, child. I know that you’d do anything for Aleksander. I realize the power he holds over you.”

You didn’t even argue. Normally you’d protest him having any kind of hold over you, but you knew he did. You knew it very well. It affected almost everything you ever did.

“It’s the same power he holds over the Sun Summoner. It’s easy to seduce someone and bend them to your will when you’ve had five hundred years to practice manipulation.” Baghra noted, likely mostly to herself.

You furrowed your brow and looked up at her questioningly.

“Seducing? Who? Alina?” You asked, not liking the tone that you took on when her name fell from your lips. It was bitter, envious.

"Who else? She sneaks around at night, in and out of his chambers. It's easy for him. She's naive and he's charming, easily the prettiest boy that's ever shown her attention."

You listened to Baghra sadly and you turned your head away from facing her, your nose burning and your eyes growing hot with little pinpricks of tears. Finally, you turned your head back towards her and she frowned deeply.

"You love him."

"Of course I do, he's-"

"No. I know you love him. What I mean, is that you have fallen in love with my son." She remarked.

You pulled your bottom lip into your mouth. She wasn't wrong. You weren't even sure when it had happened, it could have been any time within the last four hundred years.

Baghra reached over and laid her bony hand on your wrist and you closed your eyes, sniffling quietly, keeping your tears at bay.

"I always preferred you over Luda, anyway." She said sweetly, her attempt at lightening the mood.

You let out a sad laugh and then shook your head once.

"Aleksander will always prefer a powerful woman." You said quietly and then you opened your eyes to look at the woman's face.

"You are powerful. You are very powerful. you’re capable of things no one presently on this earth has seen. Things only perhaps Morozova knew of." She said slowly and then gave you a little frown, "You just accept what you’re presently capable of as all you can do because you don't mind being second to Aleksander." 

You knew she was right again. There was no use in justifying yourself to her. She would always be right. 

"I'm going to tell Alina to leave this place tonight, and I think you should do the same thing. Nothing good will ever come of the path my son is choosing to walk." 

You didn't feel like speaking, didn't feel like arguing. Though you would have stayed through all of his wicked plans, it was clear to you that all you had become to him was a burden. Aleksander and you had been in fights before, it was only natural to do so when you had known someone for that long. But this time had been completely different. He had never once taken a dig at you. An unrelenting sadness ensnared you entirely and you wrapped your arms around yourself tightly. 

You couldn't help but wish they were his arms instead of your own.

A pair of arms did wind themselves around your shoulders and you looked up to see Baghra had risen from her chair and come to stand in front of you. You leaned into her embrace and you rested your face against her arm, reveling in the small bit of comfort she offered in the sea of your distress,

"I love you, y/n. As if you were my very own child. You deserve more than this and truthfully, you always have. Go. Please. For me. Get out of Os Alta, get away from Aleksander, give yourself the chance to be happy. To be everything you need to be for you."

Her words had fresh tears springing to your eyes and you allowed a few of them to fall onto the fabric of her robes. You brought your arms up to her torso and you clung to her like a small child.

"I love you, too." You whimpered and allowed her to soothe you by running her hand over your head and shushing you.

"Please do this one thing for yourself. You have spent four centuries giving everything you have to Aleksander. Run. Promise me you will run."

You squeezed your eyes shut and didn't move or speak for a long time. Running away from Aleksander meant that you could never come back to him. He'd condemn you forever. But staying meant that every single time you saw him would be a reminder of how you weren't enough for him.

Baghra was right. You needed to do something for yourself and yourself alone.

So you nodded one and held her tighter.

"I promise."

-

 The cold fingers of an icy rain fell through your hair and down  underneath your clothes, leaving trails of chills over your skin. The wet sloshing of water that gathered in the grass was loud under your feet and you tried to be as quiet as possible while you approached the little prison camp made especially for Grisha. You slowly crept around trees and stayed hidden for moments at a time behind the especially big ones until you were close to the tree line. You could see a few lanterns up ahead, and around it stood a few First Army soldiers. 

This camp was smaller than the last one that you'd come across, with only three cages. Easy.

You took a deep breath and forced yourself out of the cover of trees and you walked across the muddy clearing in silence. Rain soaked through your clothes and left your hair in strings around your face and made the mud under your feet squelch. You looked up at the sky to find it empty. It must have been a new moon. Either that or the clouds hid the stars and the moon from your vision. The darkness around you seemed to take shape and you found yourself checking your periphery for anyone. You had to remind yourself that you wouldn't see him in these shadows. He was dead. He died in The Fold. It was all you heard for weeks as you passed from town to town all over Ravka. The Darkling was dead and the Sun Summoner was presumed to be the same, though most people had their doubts about that. 

Ever since you had ran away from Os Alta, you always felt like you had to check over your shoulders and into your periphery, in fear of him finding you. It wasn't that you feared him. You just didn't want to know how he reacted to you leaving, didn't want to know what he would say to you. Truthfully, guilt ate you alive everyday since you had left, but you had to keep telling yourself it was for the best. Aleksander found you to be a burden, and he had Alina now, anyway. What did he need you for?

You continued to trudge through the muddy field, and one of the soldiers must have caught sight of you because he called for the others and pointed at you frantically. You continued to approach nonetheless and they raised their guns at you, all three standing in various places around the lanterns, which sat in what looked to be an old fire pit.

"Don't come any closer! Hands behind your head, get on your knees!" One of them commanded loudly. 

You didn't obey, in fact, you picked up the pace of your steps a bit more and approached them.

The first shot that went off missed you by many feet, but the next came much closer. The third shot one of them fired off was aimed much better. You swept your arm out in front of you and deflected the shot with your kefta. You could hear them all begin to load their guns again and you finally reached them. 

You reached out with a white hot light burning beneath your skin and you grabbed one of their throats and yanked him forward. He let out a loud, agonized scream, and the skin under your hand began to burn and sizzle beneath your touch. You tossed him aside and walked towards the next man. The barrel of his long gun stopped you as he pressed it against your stomach, and in the dim firelight, you could see him sneer at you.

"Ah, it's you. The Darkling's right hand." He spat and you eyed him.

You gave him a little smile and then you grabbed the barrel of his gun and you clicked your tongue.

"I am no one's right hand." You hummed and leaned closer to him as you reached up for his throat, your hand beginning to glow with the hot light of the stars.

Something blunt and hard made rough contact with the back of your head and you stumbled backwards, colliding into someone's chest with your back. You groaned and glanced behind you at the third soldier and you cursed yourself for not subduing all three faster as he dropped the gun that he had just hit you with. His hands quickly encircled your wrists and he held them apart with a steel-like grip. You struggled against him and let out an angry yell.

"You will die for your actions against the Grisha. At my hand!" You hissed and sent a backwards kick into his knee.

The soldier crumpled a bit, but he didn't release you, and you were soon faced with the point of a sharp dagger, digging into your throat, held by the other soldier that stood in front of you.

"Lock her with the others." he commanded, but neither of them made a move to lock you away.

The one holding your wrists from behind cleared his throat and squeezed your wrists tightly, his nails pressing into your skin.

"If she was really General Kirigan's right hand woman, then she is obviously powerful. We need to execute her immediately." He stated and you thrashed savagely against his grip. 

"Stop moving or I will put this dagger through your windpipe!" The one holding the blade threatened and you slowly stopped moving and eyed him dangerously.

"You won't. You would have by now if you were going to." You said gruffly and he burrowed just the tip of the dagger into your skin.

"Try me, witch." He breathed.

You prepared yourself to slam your head into his and you watched his face when tendrils of shadow began to reach around his head from behind. You watched him in shock and curiosity as the tendrils covered his face and nose, and by the time he realized he was being smothered with tangible darkness, it was too late, he was already being yanked backwards. He struggled against the shadows and the other soldier yanked you backwards and pushed you down to your knees hard.

"What are you doing to him, witch?" He asked angrily and sent a kick into your side.

You gasped when his boot made contact with your rib and you crumpled onto the wet grass, rain still falling steadily. You were completely soaked with rain by now and you looked up at him as he raised his foot once more to kick you again and you covered your face with your arms protectively. Suddenly, there was a sharp, distant sounding clap, and the blow never came. 

Instead there was silence in the clearing other than the whispers and groans of the three locked away Grisha and you moved your arms away from your face. The soldier above you wobbled on his feet and then his head rolled off of his neck and smacked against your ankle. You let out a bloodcurdling scream and kicked it away from you before you put your hand in something warm. You looked down at the ground behind your back and you gasped to see the other soldier, headless as well, and your hand was in a rapidly growing puddle of his blood against the already wet grass. You heard heavy footsteps and looked up fearfully. The creature that stood in front of you was two times the size of a regular man and shaped like a disfigured and fluid-like human. It was so dark that it made the moonless night around you seem sunny and you began to back away from it, still on the ground. It lunged forward at you and you screamed loudly and protectively raised your arms again. 

You felt nothing but a cool burst of air against your skin and you let out a little whimper and looked up, moving your arms away from your face. You were met with two legs clad in black and your eyes traveled up the darkly clad form in front of you, a lump forming in your throat, realization washing over you, the feeling even colder than the icy rain that pierced through your clothes.

You closed your eyes, not wanting your eyes to finish their journey upwards. Your lips tugged down into a deep frown and you let out a shaky breath.

"You- you’re dead. You died."

There was silence and you opened your eyes again, and let out a startled shriek. 

You were met with the scarred face of your closest friend as he knelt in front of you. Rain had plastered his normally immaculate hair onto his forehead and the sides of his face and the back of his neck. He had thin, black scars that traveled across the length of his face and there was a new hardness about him. His eyes seemed even darker than they had previously and he reached out and grabbed your chin.

You gasped when you felt his cold, wet fingers against your chin and your lip quivered as you looked into his eyes, confused and scared.

"I live. I live and breathe before you. I should have let those soldiers kill you, traitor." He hissed and you stared up at him fearfully.

You shook violently and you weren't sure if it was because of the rain, fear, or a combination of both. You shakily reached up and wrapped your hand around his wrist as he kept his hand on your chin. 

"T-traitor? N-no! I didn't betray you!" You shouted and opened your mouth to speak again, but he cut you off recklessly.

"You left me! You abandoned me without a single word!" He bellowed and tightened his grip on your chin.

"You didn't need me anymore!" You cried, "you had Alina! She's more powerful than me, anyway! Why would you need me?" You asked, your face wet with cold rain and hot tears.

"Come on, we are not having this discus-"

"You even told me she was more powerful than I!" You exclaimed.

"Y/n, you abandoned me. Abandoned your duties at the Little Palace." He growled and tightened his grip on your chin even more.

Pain shot through your chin and your jaw and you let out a little cry, your eyes squeezing shut as you winced.

"Aleksander, you’re hurting me." You whispered in a trembling voice.

You knew he wouldn't really hurt you, but he had never been rough with you like this before and he was scaring you. Everything from the tone of his voice to the newfound deep blackness in his eyes was scaring you. Haunting you.

His grip on your chin very slowly loosened more and more until he let go entirely, and you let out a little sigh of relief before a loud sob tore itself free from your chest. You wrapped your arms around your cold, shaking shoulders and you pulled your knees up to your chin. Rain pelted the back of your head as you leaned your face down against your knees and you shivered, your teeth chattering violently.

"Get up. Come on." He said firmly through the rain.

You shook your head and held your eyes closed.

"Y/n, sweetheart, please get up. You are going to freeze out here. Look at you; you’re shivering." His tone was not warm, but it wasn't cold either. It was vacant mostly, save for the tiny bit of concern that crept into his words towards the end of his sentence. 

You shook your head again and you sniffled loudly. There was a soft shuffling sound above you for a second before you felt two arms wrap themselves around your body and before you could protest, Aleksander was lifting you up into his arms. He wasn't a single drop drier than you were, yet he felt warmer; more comfortable. You didn't make a move to grab onto him as he held you, but you allowed him to gently coax your head down against his chest. His cold, wet kefta pressed against your freezing cheeks and it made you shiver just once, your head shaking before you finally relaxed against him. Everything about him was almost the same, but there was a new, ragged edge to him. To his breath, his movements, his voice, even the way he smelled. You shivered again at the thought of him being rougher around the edges after whatever it was he'd gone through and you pressed your lips together to prevent another sob. "You are cruel. You are a cruel woman. How dare you leave my side? For five hundred years you have been faithful to me. How could you?" He asked. His voice was no longer empty; it was full of sorrow. 

You shook your head as it laid upon the side of his chest and you let out a shaking sigh.

"Why would I have stayed? I was reminded every single day that I wasn't enough for you. You let Alina disrespect me, you called me crazy and jealous when I asked you to put an end to it. You told me she was more powerful than me, Aleksansder! You told me you wished I was more powerful! Why would I have stayed?" You repeated and lifted your head away from his chest to look up at him.

Raindrops streaked down his face and fell from his lashes, down over his lips and off of the tip of his nose. He looked glorious in the minimal light of the nighttime with his hair unkempt and wet as it hung in his ink-like eyes and he shook his head as he looked down at you. 

"I didn't mean it. Not a single word of it." He said ashamedly, almost shouting over the rain.

"I am your best friend! I love you! I would do anything for you," you began and then you reached up and covered your face with your hands, "and yet, you casted me aside as soon as you got a shiny new toy. I know. She's the Sun Summoner. She will save the world. I can make pretty stars with my fingers and can only swear loyalty to you. I can't expand your Shadow Fold, I can’t do the things she can do!" You cried and moved your hands away from your face to look into his eyes once more.

Emotions swirled within his deep brown eyes and he tightened his arms around your body as he held you against his chest as if you were no larger than a small child.

"You just need to let me go." You said tearfully and bit your bottom lip sharply, "Let me go and we can go our separate ways, and then you can get back to your plans, you can find your precious little Saint." You exclaimed miserably.

The way he stared down at you was unlike any other way he'd ever looked at you before. He stared at you much like a devout follower would stare at their deity and his jaw flexed a few times, the skin over it pulled taut against the bone.

"Don't you see? I needn't search for my precious little Saint any longer." He remarked quietly, his tone reverent. 

"And why is that?" You asked sadly.

No warning could have ever truly prepared you for the way his lips fell upon yours. He kissed you with a sadness that you could feel all the way in the center of your chest, and after the initial shock wore off, you kissed him back, your eyes falling shut. His lips moved against yours resolutely and you reached up with a cold, rain slick hand to hold the side of his scarred face. His sadness melted into something a bit softer and more inviting, and the moment you thought you could put a name to the feeling, he was pulling his lips away from yours. He laid his forehead down against your own and he closed his eyes.

“I do not need to search for my precious little Saint any longer because she is here, in my arms as we speak.” He whispered. 

You felt all the color drain from your already pallid face and you looked up into his eyes.

“What do you even mean?” You asked exasperatedly and you let your hand fall away from his cheek. 

“I mean… You. You are my precious little Saint. You are my closest and dearest friend, and you are the love of my life. Did you know that?” He asked softly and then nudged the tip of his nose against yours. 

Your stomach dropped dramatically and you pulled your forehead away from his. You stared up at him with a shocked expression. 

There was absolutely no way.

You blinked a few times confusedly and then you laid your head back down against his chest and rested your hand over his heart, tapping your fingers against his kefta. 

“I am not.” You whispered and closed your eyes. 

“I’ll spend forever trying to convince you that you are, sweetheart. You’re mine. Don’t you see? You always have been. For five hundred years, you have been mine.” He murmured and pressed his lips against your ear as he spoke, “You are mine. No one else can have you. I’d kill whoever tried.” He breathed against the shell of your ear and it gave you goosebumps. You gathered the thick fabric of his lapels up in your fist and you shook your head a few times. 

“Deny it all you want, but I know you feel the same. I could feel it in your kiss, my sweet little star.” He mumbled and pressed a lingering kiss against your ear. 

Your mouth opened and closed stupidly and you let out a shaking breath.

“If I don’t deny it, you will one day shatter my heart.” You whispered and leaned closer to him.

The rain around you had slowed to a drizzle now and little beads of water were dripping from his hair down onto your cheeks as you laid on his chest. The very faint light of the stars behind the rain clouds in the night sky was enough for you to see the frown on his lips and he shook his head. 

“Never. I’ll never break your heart. Oh, it’s far too precious.” 

His words bounced back and forth in your head and you tugged his kefta gently, a particularly violent shiver ripping through your body. 

“Please, just take me somewhere warm. Somewhere safe. Somewhere with you.” You begged softly and hid your face against his wet clothes, “I’ll go wherever you go.”

He nodded once and gave you a little reassuring squeeze before he whispered something about home near your ear. The patter of the rain made it nearly impossible to make out entirely but what you did catch melted your heart. 

“… and it doesn’t matter where we go, because when I’m with you, it is home.” 

-

Little specks of rainbow light glimmered all over your bedroom, bouncing off of mirrors and glass to create even more little flecks of color throughout the room. The crystals on your dress sparked brilliantly as you stood in the window, watching the sun set. A deep purple horizon was settling over the land just beyond your windowpane and you let out a soft sigh. 

Your head was heavy with the weight of a brilliant crown, made of black metal and sharp, glimmering diamonds. Your silvery dress was tugged down with the weight of a thousand little crystals and you watched as their light refractions danced across your walls. You were a sight to see. 

Formidable, graceful, beautiful. 

You were a queen. 

Not just a queen. The Queen. 

Against all the odds, against every enemy, and against each and every opposer, Aleksander managed to take The Firebird as his own amplifier and he put an end to the incessant thorn in his side that was the Sun Summoner. 

His plan, no, both your plan and his had been entirely successful. For hundreds of years, Aleksander chased the crown. He waited patiently for it. Sat in the shadows, stalked, paced, and plotted for it. And it was finally his. The night he saved you from almost dying, he’d taken you to his sanctuary and promised you on both of his knees that he’d give you a crown and a love like you’d never known before and you’d never know again. 

He made good on both promises. 

The day had been eventful. After a long banquet in the morning, you’d been crowned queen in front of only Grisha while Aleksander was given the title of king. 

Aleksander Morozova. The Darkling King. 

His title made you shiver practically and you let out a soft sigh as you continued to watch the night sky swallow up the blue of the day with deep purples and pinks. 

It was over. It was all over. The war, the fighting, the conflict, all of it. Aleksander would now waste no time in stopping Grisha persecution all over Ravka and everything would be right in the world. 

“Is the Queen pleased with her view?” 

Two strong hands found their way around your waist and pulled you backwards. Your back was pressed up against Aleksander’s chest and you closed your eyes softly, leaning your head back against his shoulder. 

“Ah, very much so. Though, I think you’re the better view, my King.” You whispered. 

He swept all of your hair out of his way and lowered his lips down to the nape of your neck, trailing butterfly-wing-light kisses to your skin.  

“You flatter me.”

“Do you not deserve it?”

“Perhaps I do. But perhaps I don’t. If you find me worthy of flattery then I must be doing something right, angel.” He mumbled and dragged his lips around the side of your neck. 

“I find you worthy of all beautiful things.” You whispered and tipped your head to the side as he pressed his soft lips to your skin. 

“Ah, so I must be worthy of you.”

“Of course.” 

He hummed contently as he playfully nipped at your skin on your neck and he smiled into the side of your neck. 

“This country is ours now. Ours to have and ours to keep and ours to have, hold, and protect. How does that make you feel?” He asked softly and lifted his head away from your neck. He leaned his cheek against the side of your head and traced his fingers over your waist as he awaited your reply. 

It made you feel powerful. Strong. He made you feel that way. You loved him. You loved him more than words could possibly have ever said, and you were lucky that he loved you back. The Sun Summoner drew breath no longer, the former prince Nikolai sat in a cell underneath the Palace accused of treason, and Aleksander and you assumed the roles of the two most powerful Grisha to ever exist. You felt ecstatic.

You looked up at him and his eyes shifted down to yours and you gave him a little smile. 

“I’ll show you.”

And you stood up on your toes to reach him and you pressed a kiss to his lips. One of gratitude, one of happiness. 

One of five hundred years worth of love. 

[mossyivy]

Young parents but it's re2 leon or re4 leon... he has a cute and sweet girlfriend but he ended up getting her pregnant by accident (ahem) and now he needs to learn how to take care of his pregnant girlfriend.... (He watched Twilight and was worried about the possibility of she breaking like a stick like Bella.) 👛anon.

(RE4 Leon is 27, you think 27 is young?? I'm 27 bless you 👛anon 🥺)

This would probably fit better with RE2 Leon. A rookie cop who accidentally knocked his girlfriend up. Obviously he's happy regardless, you two love each other and he knows he'd want a family someday. It just so happens to be sooner than he thought.

I'd picture him going bat shit insane. Talking about how you'll snap like a twig and you're just staring at him like 🤨 babe... We're not have a vampire baby.

Yeah, but like WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS!?

Would definitely buy every parenting book he sees. He wants to be prepared. Extra precautions after you move into his shoe box of an apartment cause he wants you close by. Definitely walking around putting up those corner covers they have for counters and tables so kids don't cut their heads. Even though you're a grown ass woman... He's just scared you'll bump your belly and hurt you or the baby.

The moment you start getting cravings he's on it any time of day.

You want cookies at 3am? Insomnia cookies here he comes.

You text him that you want noodles while he's sitting at his desk at work. He's an hour late coming home from work because he stopped at two different markets to get any flavor of instant noodles he could find so you'll be able to enjoy your meal.

You want grilled steak in the middle of fucking winter?! BABE GET YOUR COAT, WE'RE GOING TO OUTBACK!

Definitely overwhelmed with all the responsibilities he puts on himself because he refuses to let you do cleaning or anything to requires lifting. And yes, even if it is light!

Leon put most of the nursery together (cute little alcove in the living room until y'all can find a bigger apartment or rent a house). Quite literally only let you supervise, which irritated the hell out of you but he loves you and you know he's just paranoid.

Once the baby comes though, he's awake for days... You're recovering and he's taken on the role of father very seriously. So sleep deprived he's probably stared at the baby thinking he can't see their chest move. But they wiggle their little arm and his stomach nearly falls out of his ass he was clenching so hard.

At one point he'd be rocking the baby to sleep during your recovery and close his eyes for 2 seconds and suddenly it's morning. The babies not in his arms and he starts freaking out. So freaked out he looks under the damn couch for his kid. But you come out of the kitchen carrying a bottle and the baby in one of the swaddling scarves and he can breathe again.

But all in all Leon would be a fantastic father!

[laswells-ashtray]

(Mother-hen)Price and (Father-hen)Nikolai antics and shenanigans.

I dunno, let’s just say that one day Soap and Gaz get hurt when roughhousing and the two try to play it off like nothing happened. Well, two minutes later Price has them both sat down and is scolding them while he patches them up, saying something about how they’re always ‘too rough’ and how they need to ‘settle down before they make a mess’.

Nik is always the icebreaker in the situation, cracking jokes here and there to soften the blows Price delivers and making promises that they’d go to the shooting range later and have a competition on who the best shot is.

I also think that when Ghost doesn’t take care of himself like he usually does, they all get worried, but not as worried as Price.

He won’t barge or force Ghost to talk, but he will stick around longer than he usually does and keeps an eye on him for a second more before going about his business. He’ll also give him meals that he randomly made throughout the day and makes sure he eats before moving on to whatever he was doing.

Nik on the other hand just invites Ghost to help him fix his helicopter, and when the two finish they’ll sit on the floor of it and quietly have a cigarette together before going about their day.

…

Also, random side note: how was your Thanksgiving? Hope the food-crash was delectable bc mines was.

I won't lie I am deeply Scottish and have never done a Thanksgiving event/dinner in my life. But my day was generally uneventful in a good way, I had a tattoo consultation that day and my artist likes me so it was chill.

I've always held the belief that they don't intentionally practice awful self-care but as men so busy with their jobs and also the entire traumatic response of constantly being surrounded by the carnage and bloodshed they find themselves some days at 3am wondering when the last time they drank water or ate anything slowly enough to taste it was.

I think while Nikolai can also suffer [as a treat], he's the best at staying on track and keeping the rest of them on track and Price falls into the mentality of those are his boys and he'll be in a body bag long before he lets one of them get there.

That being said:

"Lads, it's a spar not a fuckin' scrap. Act yer age, not yer shoe size."

Both Soap and Gaz pause, heads popping up to look at him in a way that's reminiscent of meerkats. They'd been rougher than usual and for a second John had wondered if they had been trying to work something out off of the field. He knew better though, if they two argued then neither of them would exchange a word until they got their heads out of their arses and then got drunk together after it all washed over.

"Wisnae tnhat bad, wis it, Gaz?"

He can see MacTavish wince as he straightens up, a hand hovering over his ribs and the trail of dried blood coming from his nose is far from subtle.

"Just dickin' about, sir."

Garrick's lip is split and a drop of fresh blood bubbles from it when he smirks, he's also avoiding resting his weight on his right leg.

"Bench." Is all he answers with, heading away to grab a first aid kit they, after many mildly violent incidents, decided to keep in the gym.

By the time he reaches the bench the two sergeants are nudging each other and bickering like boys, Soap nudges Gaz's foot and in retaliation, Gaz elbows him. In a horrific moment of self-awareness John realises he had been much worse as a sergeant. He quickly packs that thought away in a mental box entitled "things I'll never admit to Mac" somewhere between the shirt thing and the river incident.

"Quit it, you're supposed to leave the blood to the field." He scolds half-heartedly before setting to work trying to fix however they'd fucked Soap's nose.

He's passing Gaz an icepack for his foot when Nik walks in, shaking his head in mock disapproval as he approaches. The act is ruined by his immediate questioning.

"Who won?"

John cuts in before it can delve into another round of bitching.

"The people who're trying to put us in caskets if that's how the two of them fight."

He's met with a snort and two affronted squawks before he's assaulted with a barrage of verbal bullshit defences that he doesn't pay attention to.

He looks back at Nik with a curious expression.

"Hangar, babysitting after the bird."

The disbelief on his face is about as subtle as a hand grenade.

"All by his lonesome?"

There's an almost sheepish look on Nikolai's face until he relents.

"He is smoking."

"That's more like it. You two will be joining us in the mess later, I take it." It isn't a question, Nik doesn't mistake it as one.

"Да, captain." Nikolai would drag Simon by the scruff of his neck like a cat if he had to.

"Good."

[ladykailitha]

A Love For Christmas Part 4

Just moving right along! We have hit the halfway point! And I've got 6/8 chapters done! And with any luck the whole story will be finished by the end of the week, allowing me to go back to writing the other stories full time.

Tomorrow I will be releasing "The Last Dragon Slayer" So that should be fun. And WIP Wednesday will be a little different, too. Here's the link to the full explanation for that! Come join the chaos!

In this we have more trauma dumping from Steve and I had too much fun naming the horses.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

~

The next task I chose for the dear little elf I thought would be easier on them. After all just because they had trouble with people and wanting things to be perfect, surely they must be good with animals.

Surely.

Surely not as it turned out.

I had just come from my workroom where I had been meticulously going through my list as new kids made the list and others would swap lists, when I noticed that door to the reindeer stables was flung wide open and multiple reindeer were milling about the field, moving only when the elf drew near, to run away.

But once the reindeer spotted me, they trotted peacefully into the stable and the elf sank to the ground with a choked off sob.

“I was brushing Donner when Vixen managed to open the lock to her to stall,” the little elf wailed. “So I rushed to grab her, but that was when Donner decided she wanted to be free too and bolted. And...”

“And in your rush to catch those two,” I said with a sigh,” the others made their escape.

The elf nodded sadly. “I’m just no good at this.”

I got down on one knee and lifted their chin slowly. “No good at what, little one?”

They swiped at their eyes with the back of their hand and hiccuped another sob. “Being an elf. I’m like that stupid dentist in that really creepy kids movie from 1960s.”

I chuckled. “Even if you were, it just means you haven’t found your vocation yet. We’ll get there.”

The elf nodded slowly and I helped them to their feet.

~

Steve felt dread settle in the pit of his stomach as he drove out to the Sinclair farm. He hadn’t seen a single deer, much less a reindeer as he drove the narrow pass up to the house. Nope. So far only horses. Lots and lots of horses.

A whole herd of the skittish, four-legged tanks on fragile sticks they called legs.

He was tempted to just back up out of the road, turn tail and call in sick or something. Because this was not going to go well.

At all.

But as he was slowing to a stop to do just that, someone pulled in behind him. Cursing up a storm and berating himself for this, he sped back up again, not stopping until he pulled up along side a 1974 Ford F150.

As Steve got out he realized the other driver was Claudia Henderson with a ragtag group of teenagers in tow. And it looked as though she had almost the whole set.

“Where’s Max?” he asked about the missing member as Will, Mike, Dustin, and Ellie all piled out of Claudia’s car.

“She got here earlier,” Mike said with a whine. “Perks of having a boyfriend whose dad owns horses.”

Steve gulped and nodded.

Just then Eddie’s van pulled up and Steve relaxed a little, not really wanting to reason why he thought that. Somethings were better left alone until 3am on a random Saturday three sheets to the wind drunk.

Eddie got out of his van with a cute little hop and slammed the door behind him. He came bounding up to Steve with the perfect dimpled smile and said, “Hey! You beat me here. I thought for sure I would be the first to arrive!”

“You’re literally last, dude,” Dustin said rolling his eyes. “My mom made thermoses of hot chocolate for everyone.”

Everyone mobbed Claudia for their hot chocolate when Max and Lucas came out of the house, a man following close behind, Steve assumed was Mr. Sinclair.

“Great!” Mr. Sinclair said with a bright smile. “It looks like everyone is here. I have my daughter Erica and Robin out hooking up the horses to the sleigh. So if everyone will follow me.”

Steve started picking at the skin on his nails as he trailed behind. Intrusive thoughts spiraled around in his head with every step he took.

“Hey,” Eddie said softly. “You okay? You look a little green.”

Steve ducked his head sheepishly. “I didn’t realize it was going to be horses. The one sleigh ride I’ve been on it was reindeer.”

“You have a problem with horses?” Eddie asked tilting his head to the side. He looked around at the all the horses milling around in various paddocks.

“When I was eight my mom wanted to learn horseback riding because she was a polo champion when she was in college,” Steve explained licking his lips nervously. “It didn’t go well. The horse was supposed to be even tempered and great with kids.”

“I’m guessing not so much?” Eddie asked gently.

“Went off on a tear,” Steve mumbled, “and then started trying to buck me off, but foot was caught in the stirrup so I was shaken around like a ragdoll until someone could calm the horse enough to let me down.”

Eddie let out a low whistle. “Damn, I’m sorry. Well, at least it isn’t Christmas related trauma. Because seriously, dude you have a lot of that.”

Steve looked him dead in the eye and said in all seriousness. “The horse’s name was Noël.”

“Shit, really?” he asked with a grimace. Steve nodded grimly. “I think Christmas might be cursed for you. Sorry.”

Then Eddie took Steve’s hand in his and Steve looked up at him in awe. “You’re going to in the back of the sleigh with everyone else, but you get nervous, just give my hand a squeeze, okay?”

Steve nodded and they walked all the way to the barn hand in hand.

They had barely reached the barn when the doors burst open and one of the horses flew past them, causing them to leap back to avoid being trampled. Then another came dashing out, and what happened next would live in Steve’s dreams for a very long time.

Eddie grabbed the bridle of the second horse and hauled himself up on it’s back, instantly calming the animal. Then he urged the horse forward into a gallop, chasing down the other horse. Once they were neck and neck, Eddie reached out and grabbed the bridle of the other horse and brought them both to a stand still.

Robin came running up to Steve just as Eddie managed to catch up to the other horse and get it to slow down.

“That was hot,” Steve said, never taking his eyes off of the other man. “Please tell me you saw how hot that was.”

Robin rolled her eyes. “I’m a lesbian, I can’t comment on his hotness. Sorry, not sorry.”

Steve turned to her with his eyes wide. “Well, speaking as someone who is into both. Trust me that was very hot.”

Eddie trotted back up to the barn, cheeks rosy from the exertion and the cold, biggest grin on his face. He stopped in front of Robin and Erica, who had also come out of the barn looking sheepish.

“Erica Jean,” Mr. Sinclair admonished her, both hands on his hips. “What are Fili and Kili doing out? I told you to get out Merry, Pippin, Samwise, and Frodo.”

Steve giggled at the names and Eddie gave him a surprised kind of smile when he realized he recognized the names of the horses.

“Fili conspired with Kili to escape,” Erica huffed mirroring her dad’s pose. “They weren’t anywhere near were we were harnessing Pippin and Samwise, but Kili managed to lift the latch on Fili’s stall and the little bastard did the same for his brother.”

Mr. Sinclair sighed, shaking his head. “I’ll make sure to get a couple of padlocks to keep the little escape artists from getting out.” He turned to Eddie. “Would you mind holding onto them until we get the other horses setup in front of the sleigh?”

Eddie grinned. “Sure thing, boss.”

“I didn’t know you knew how to ride,” Dustin said, staring up at Eddie like he was some kind of superhero and he wasn’t the only one. Most of the kids were doing the same thing. The only ones that weren’t were the Sinclairs.

“My grandma had horses when I was growing up,” he said with a sheepish grin. “But I haven’t been on a horse in almost a decade, so um... don’t try that at home. It could have ended very badly for me. I did it without thinking.”

Mr. Sinclair chuckled. “It was probably a good thing, actually. Had you thought about it, you probably would have mistimed the jump. You did good, son.”

He walked into the stable and motioned for Robin and Erica to follow him, Lucas trailing behind.

Eddie gathered up the halters and slid off the horse. He started patting the other’s nose as Steve crept closer. Eddie spotted him and hid his smile in the mane of the horse he had been riding.

“These aren’t the horses that will be pulling the sleigh?” Steve asked when he was close enough for Eddie to hear him.

Eddie shook his head. “These are riding horses and aren’t really suited to pulling sleighs. They can be used like that in a pinch, but when you see the other horses you’ll know what I mean.”

Steve inched forward a little bit more. “They won’t hurt me?”

“I promise,” Eddie murmured. He held out his hand and Steve took it gingerly. He brought Steve’s hand to touch the horse’s nose. The horse snorted but stayed still under Steve’s touch.

Steve giggled. “He’s so warm.” He let Eddie use his hand to stroke the horse’s nose. “Who’s a good boy?”

Eddie pointed over Steve’s shoulder. “Those are the horses that will be pulling the sleigh.”

Steve turned around to Erica, Lucas, Mr. Sinclair, and Robin all came out each with a massive horse.

“Big boys,” he muttered as his eyes continued to move up and up. “They could step on me and they wouldn’t even notice, you’d have to scrape me off their shoe.”

Eddie chuckled. “Probably, but they are unflappable. Come on,” he said, tugging the two idiots forward. “Let me put these two away and I’ll have Robin introduce you to the draft horses.”

Steve nodded nervously.

Eddie whispered something to Robin as he passed and she nodded. She came up to Steve and handed him an apple.

“They’re sweet boys,” she said gently, “but you really want to win their hearts? Apples. Keep your hand flat and let them munch away.”

Steve walked up to the horses and stopped in front of the closest one.

“That’s Sam,” she said, “he loves apples.”

Steve held up his hand and let Sam take the apple. Sam happily munched away and then sniffed around Steve for other apples. Robin pushed his head out of Steve’s space with a laugh.

“You greedy guts,” she said brightly, pulling out another apple. “Can’t have just the one.”

Sam huffed his agreement and munched away at her apple too. “Horses are better than reindeer,” she muttered darkly.

“That hasn’t been my experience,” he said rolling his eyes as he pet Sam’s nose.

“Yeah?”

Steve told her what he told Eddie and she nodded. “Yeah, that sounds rough. I do these type of gigs every year and there is always a reindeer or two who thinks being an ass is more fun.”

He chuckled at her animal joke and she grinned back at him.

“Yeah,” she declared, “you’re sitting next to me on this ride.”

Steve smiled at her. “I’d like that.”

Of course that meant that he sat between Eddie and her, but that was okay.

As they were getting settled on the sleigh he noticed Eddie slapping his neck and looking around.

“You okay?” he asked as the sleigh jerked forward.

Eddie’s lips were pursed to together. “Yeah. I’m fine.” He bumped their shoulders together. “I promise.”

The horses led them through the town and forests and every gasped and pointed at the lights strung up along the way, drinking Claudia’s hot chocolate and listening Charles Sinclair’s, as Steve found out his first name, stories about the town and the different places they were going through.

They stopped at Lover’s Lake and there was Mrs. Sinclair with buttered scones and hot apple cider. As they ate their fill and watched the moon on the lake, Eddie bumped shoulders with Steve.

“You still afraid of horses?”

He thought about it for a moment and then shook his head. “I don’t know what happened that day, but I learned that everyone can have bad days. So, thank you.”

~

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Tag List: COMPLETED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @steddieislife @tartarusknight

[ramblingautisticman]

Wade having symptoms of Bipolar Disorder.

He has mood swings, his mind is racing with thoughts constantly, he barely sleeps, is always talking a mile a minute, doesn't really like eating and hears voices or noises that aren't there.

Wade has a lot of highs. Most of the time, he is happy and energetic, ready to take on whatever the world throws at him. Every once in a while, though, he has an extreme low where everything is suddenly bad- where he wants to just curl up into a ball and die- and he let's the voices in his head take over.

Wade can't do anything when he feels like that- and he doesn't want too. He wants to stay under the blanket and rot in bed forever. He wants to try and hide from the world until it all burns around him.

Logan trys to get him out of bed, to get him to eat or talk or anything- but after 2 days of trying- he knows this is one of Wade's lows.

It's wierd, because Logan must know as soon as he wakes up and sees Wade like this that he is having an 'episode'. That he is having a depressive slump. He still trys though- everytime- no matter how much Wade ignores him.

Wade thinks that maybe he understands but also that he doesn't. That he tries to and fails and that Wade is all alone. That he is a burden to everyone else. That he will never be normal.

And Logan lays there next to him until Wade is back to his usual happy self- into his next high- and he'll be there when his mood drops again. Logan always is.

When Wade gets out of these periods, he always thinks it's stupid he thought Logan didn't care- because here he still was- even if Wade was alot to deal with sometimes. It reassures him sometimes, makes him feel worse at others.

Logan was always there though. No matter what, he always stuck by Wades side. He put up with the hyperactive needs to clean the apartment at 3am, and the depressive slumps in bed for days on end.

It feels strange, having someone stick by him even though he is the way he is. It's nice. It's nice and it makes him feel safe.

And yeah, when he falls back into that bad mindset again he will forget all of those positives and spin them into negatives, but for now? For now all he can focus on his how much Logan loves him.

[dameronology]

moment's passed (matt murdock)

summary: based on say don't go by t.swift (x)

warnings: excessive use of the f-word. angst.

this is one of the from the vault songs that just fucking HITS me. i have been crying to this since it came out tbh. i hope you enjoy xx

-jazz

You had Matt Murdock.

Until you didn't.

Things had been sweet at first; he was a weathered lawyer who needed some light in his life. Somebody to come home to; somebody to properly love for the first time in his fucking life. It wasn't like the high he was chasing with Eletkra Natchios, or the familiarity he'd sought out with Karen Page. He got both things from your relationship, but you were...different. You gave him highs; you could make him feel like he was home and on a rollercoaster all at once. It was a feeling Matthew wanted to keep for the rest of his life. He would have been stupid not to. But wasn't that the thing about Matt? He was incredibly smart, but also incredibly fucking stupid. Almost bound to take someone for granted. He'd done it with Foggy, hadn't he? 

Five years. That was how long you made it before cracks began to appear in your foundations. You'd loved Matt for his Daredevil side at first; maybe he could go too far, but he'd always known when to stop (right?) and you admired him for it. For his bravery, for his candor, for the way he protected the city. It was like a dark and sexy secret that you prided yourself on keeping. It tied you together. You were part of it now. You were the person that Matt could come to about his darkest fears and worst nights. You were the person whose side he would curl up into during the night, craving someone to protect him for once. There was always the worry that he would go into deep and truly lose himself, but every time Matt found himself on the precipice of doing so, you would be there to hold him back - to keep him sane and to stop him letting Matt Murdock and Daredevil blur into one person. 

You were only a human being, though. So was he. Matt could save the city and everything in it but you couldn't save him from himself. Save him from coming home at 6AM - your agreement had always been 3AM at the latest - and sliding into bed beside you without a word, or save him from waking up in a bad mood and refusing to talk to you about it. No matter how many times you begged him to just spend one night in, or to not leave himself three hours to sleep before work. It all fell on empty ears and that hurt when he had fucking super hearing. Comforting cuddles at night turned into whispered touches and soon, those touches became backs turned to one another. Long conversations turned into polite niceties than eventually faded into silence. The happy relationship - breakfast together in the morning at the table and takeouts on the sofa at night - became a burden. A horse you were both flogging because staying together in silence was slightly less terrifying than whatever the alternative that left you alone was. Soon, you were the only one flogging said horse. Matt had dropped his stick a long time ago and turned away. He'd walked into the depths of Hell's Kitchen and you weren't sure he was ever coming back. 

This wasn't your fault. Maybe it wasn't his fault either but hell it was his burden to bear. You'd done nothing but love and support him and what did you get in return? Silence. Iciness. Long, tense moments of forced conversations. 

You got used to it eventually. Every night, he'd come stumbling in at 4,5,6AM, skin littered with bruises and wounds; some from that night and others reopened. Matt's skin was thick with scars now. They were forming a new Daredevil suit across his arms and legs and back and there was no taking it off. It was always there. Always a reminder. 

Matt was laying with his back to you; you watched with open eyes, as his breathing went from shallow and tense, to something a little deeper and softer. He was falling asleep. Tough fucking luck, Murdock, you thought, it's time to talk. 

You brushed a hand down his back - Matt arched like a cat, suddenly waking.

"Hey, Matty."

He sighed heavily. "I was sleeping."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted to see how you were-"

"- I'm tired," Matt huffed. "Go to sleep."

"I'm tired too," you murmured. Tired of this. Tired of this silence. Tired of you.

"Sleep too, then."

"I will," you whispered. "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?"

"I'm working all day. Probably late."

"Okay, goodnight," you said. "I love you."

Silence. 

The morning came and still, Matt barely spoke to you. He ghosted past you in the morning, hands fumbling for a clean shirt and pants. His shoes were pulled on and coffee made, and he was out the door before you'd even risen for work. That was purposeful. He never left earlier than 8AM and it wasn't even gone 7:30. Maybe he didn't want to talk. Maybe he just wanted to talk to anyone that wasn't you - which was funny, because you'd barely had a conversation in weeks. 

You had lunch with Karen later that day, about four doors down from the Nelson & Murdock office. Whatever dalliance she'd had with Matt was in the past - you two were good friends. She was level-headed and candid. You needed that in a friend. She always said what you needed to hear, even if you didn't want to. 

"So, I'm gonna see this guy for a second date, I think," Karen was saying something. You were gone, eyes blankly staring past her. "But I'm not sure, because - hey, are you listening to me?"

"No," you admitted. "I'm sorry. I had a really shitty night."

Her face fell with concern. "What's going on?"

"Matt's losing himself to his night job," you admitted. "I haven't had a proper talk with him in fucking months. I don't think he's touched me since people liked James Corden, Karen. Do you know what a long time that is?"

"Jesus," she muttered. Without another word, she pulled out her diary and flicked through it. "Look, it says he's got his whole afternoon wide open today. He went home at midday I think."

You faltered slightly. Either Karen was mistaken or Matt was a fucking liar and had fed you bullshit about being busy this afternoon. The worst part was that you knew Karen never made mistakes when it came to her secretary job. She had a Pinterest board for everything and her Google calendar synced up to ten different devices. She probably wasn't wrong and lying to you, although a new development, was pretty in line with how Matt had been lately. It felt like the final nail in the coffin. The thing that sealed your relationship's fate.

"I..." you muttered. "Okay. Will you hate me if I ditch early to go and talk to him?"

Karen shook her head. "No. Go."

That subway ride was the longest of your ride. It felt like every stop was twice as long; like every red signal lasted ten years. Had the walk from the platform to the barriers always been this long? Had the street from the station to your apartment been this stretched out? Your feet had never hurt more as you sprinted up the stairs from the lobby to your apartment. The door was on the latch - Karen was right, he had been home - and you booted it down with ease. Matt jumped up from the sofa as you did.

"What are you-"

"- you're a fucking liar!" you snapped. 

There was a lingering silence for a moment. Matt was a man of few words but he had very rarely found himself speechless.

"I'm done," you muttered.

"Done with what?"

"I'm done with you," you said. "I'm done with us. With this shitty relationship. Do you know how long I've been trying? How long I've been begging you to give me some kind of attention? Months, Matt. I've been dying for MONTHS and you haven't cared."

"I haven't been ignoring you-"

"- please don't lie to me," you cut him off again. 

The silence returned. You might have been half way out the door for months but Matt had been the one holding it open. The worst part was that you loved him to your very core and if he just said the words then - stay, don't go - or even any fucking word in the human language that hinted at a glimmer of hope, you would have thought twice. Maybe your apartment was a ghost town now but it was haunted with what used to be. Maybe there was a chance to go back to that. Just maybe. You would take maybe. 

The seconds passed. One, two, three. You counted them as they went, right up until you hit sixty. The dreaded one minute mark. That was more than enough time to beg. You could have done it in thirty. But he'd said nothing. The silence now said more to you than Matt had in the last three months. 

"Do you have nothing to say?" you quietly asked. 

"Right," you murmured. "I'm really done then."

"Just...think about this?" Matt said. His voice wavered slightly. There it was. The thing you'd been wanting to hear. It was just one minute too late. 

"Moment's passed, Matty," 

[strniohoeee]

Cutting Dead

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader, cute imagine could be suggestive at parts😚

Synopsis: Y/N was getting ready for a date when some unexpected things decided to happen👤

Warnings⚠️: None really if I’m being honest, could be suggestive at parts, but nothing crazy☺️

Song for the imagine: Heartbreaker- Justin Bieber

I had stood over the triplets house last night because I had been asked out on a date by a guy I really liked. I haven’t been in the dating scene for the last year because I was constantly being disappointed by every single guy. But when I put myself out there again I ran into Chance. He was so sweet and funny and not a creep, Nick saw how head over heels I was for this guy, and wanted me to spend the night so I could get ready, and express my excitement with him.

“Y/N I’m so fucking happy for you! You deserve a good guy” Nick said jumping on the bed next to me

“Nick I’m so fucking happy like hes so nice to me, and he was the one who asked me on the date, and planned it all” I said smiling and blushing like a schoolgirl

“A guy who actually took initiative?? This we love!! Oh my god we have to make you look even more hot than you do tomorrow”Nick said clapping his hands together

“I brought so many outfit options! Like this guy is really making me think about my appearance” I told Nick

“Finally! You were starting to give Adam Sandler core I was getting scared” He said laughing at me

“Oh you fucking dick! Shut up” I said throwing my pillow at him

That night we stood up pretty late just laughing and talking about how excited I was. We went to bed at 3am, and we woke up at 9 because my date was at 12, and Chance was coming to pick me up.

I decided to start getting ready at 10, I showered and washed my hair. After stepping out I did my skincare, put lotion on, and put pajamas on so I could do my hair.

I decided on a blowout, and once that was done I started my makeup. I loved a full beat of makeup. It made me feel even more powerful with my thick lashes, and my brown lip liner.

As I was doing my makeup and hair Nick was chatting with me asking me all types of questions

“Do you think he’s a catfish?” He asked laughing

“Nick we’ve FaceTimed before…OBVIOUSLY NOT” I told him laughing

“Mmm true! Do you think he’s actually 6 foot” he also asked

“Uhhh…I actually never gave that a thought” I said as I applied my blush and highlighter

“Ouuu are you gonna kiss him” he asked wiggling his brows

“Weirdo….maybe if the vibes right” I said as I set my makeup with some spray

“Omgggg yall gonna fuck on the first date?” He asked me, and both Chris and Matt had walked into the room the same time as he was asking this question

“Who we fuckin” Matt said laughing as he went to sit on Nicks bed

“Nobody. And no Nick I’m def not fucking on a first date” I said as i was putting glue on my lashes

“Why not? It’s fun” Nick said as he pushed Chris out the way of laying in his spot

“Ummm because I’m looking for someone who doesn’t just want to fuck. I want real love” I told him as I started to stick my lashes on

“That Jada and Will love” Chris said laughing

“Given the fact that they hate each other I’m not too sure, but uhh something along those lines” I said laughing

“Ouuu that Morticia and Gomez love” Matt said nodding his head

“Oh yes!” I said looking at him through the mirror

I had finished applying my lip liner and gloss, and was ready to put on my outfit

“Okay guys I need opinions on the outfit let me go change” I said as i ran into nicks bathroom and put my outfit on

I was wearing medium/dark wash mid rise jeans that were flared at the bottom, and hugged me in all the right places. Actually hugged me a little too tight as I gained some weight and now they were extra tight on my ass and thighs. Then I put on my fitted hot pink shirt that said I Love Men, but the N was scratched out so basically I love me. And then for shoes I decided on these cute felt hot pink wedge sandals. The whole vibes was giving Bratz doll, and to top it off I put clear Y2K glasses on my head. I felt hot and powerful.

I stepped out of the bathroom.

“Sooo what do we think” I said as I gave them a spin

“You look sooo hot” Nick said snapping his fingers

“You look great” Matt said giving me a thumbs up

“Spin one more time” Chris said rubbing his chin like he was wondering

So I did another spin for them

“Your ass looks fat asf, he’ll def be drooling” Chris said nonchalantly

“Chris don’t be weird” Matt said smacking his younger brother

“I appreciate it…even though that is weird. I’ll take it” I said giving him a weird stare

“WHAT I’m stating the obvious” Chris said putting his hand up in defense

“Okay even though Chris is a creep your ass is fat” Nick said

“Okay enough about my ass” I said laughing and going to grab my phone. The time read 11:58am

“Omggg guys it’s almost timeeee” I said in a sing song way

“Has he texted you?” Nick asked

“Mm not since 11:30” I said grabbing my purse and putting my lipliner and lipgloss in it

“I figured he’s driving” I said as I sprayed myself with perfume, and getting ready to walk down to the living room to wait for Chance

We had all gone downstairs, and Chris decided to go shower while Matt and Nick sat on the couch with me as we chatted. I hadn’t realized how long we were chatting for until I looked down at my phone, and saw the time said 12:15pm…..hm weird

I decided to shoot Chance a text

-heyyy! Hope traffic isn’t too bad. What’s your ETA?☺️

5 minutes had gone by with no response

“Did he answer?” Matt asked

“No, but he was working the 5AM shift, and sometimes they don’t get off till 12:30-1, so maybe he’ll text me” I told them, and to this they nodded their head

By now it was 12:55pm and I still haven't gotten a response. I was slightly worried that he was standing me up, or he might’ve gotten into an accident, so I decided to call him. No answer

“I’m not sure why he isn’t picking up. At 11:30 he literally said he couldn’t wait to see me soon” I told Nick and Matt

“Call him again” Nick said

So I called two more times, and no response. In fact , it went straight to voicemail. I was really starting to think he stood me up, when all of a sudden my phone pinged with a text message

Chance🦕

I’m sorry, but I can’t do this any more. I didn’t mean to lead you on. You’re a cool girl, and I really like you, but I was really hoping our relationship was just friends with benefits. I’m not looking to commit to anyone right now :)

My jaw fucking dropped, and at this point Chris came into the living room

“What’s going on?” He asked as he sat down on the couch

“Uhhh he stood me up” I said still blinking down at my phone in utter shock

“He did what?” Nick asked

“Yeah… he said I’m sorry, but I can’t do this any more. I didn’t mean to lead you on. You’re a cool girl, and I really like you, but I was really hoping our relationship was just friends with benefits. I’m not looking to commit to anyone right now” I told them as I was reading the message out loud

“Are you joking right now” Nick said grabbing my phone to read the message himself

“After a year of not seeing anyone. I finally find a guy who I thought was so sweet and kind, and it turns out he’s just like the rest” I said taking a deep breath and rolling my eyes

“Oh what a fucking dick” Nick said handing my phone back to me, and I grabbed it closing out the message. Not even bothering to respond to him

“I got all dolled up for a fucking loser” I said taking my shoes off

“Hey! You don’t need him. There’s plenty of other guys out there who would kill to be with you” Matt said, giving me a reassuring smile.

“Yeah I know, but I was really starting to like the kid” I said rolling my eyes

“Y/N fuck himmm you’re so hot! You could literally have anyone you want. Literally go out right now, and watch all the guys drop to their knees begging for you” Nick said, and I smiled at this

“Ehh it’s fine I’m going to wash my face and change my clothes. So I can eat my feelings and bask in my self pity” I said standing up

“No. Let me take you out” Chris said as he stood up

“Take me out?” I said looking at him as I put my shoes back down

“Yeah, let's go out on the town, maybe the mall, and whatnot. You look too nice not to go out come on” he said grabbing the keys

“Oh okay” I said as I put my shoes back on and grabbed my purse

“Have funnnnn” Nick said as he gave a small smirk to Matt

I had driven us to the mall to go walk around and shop. As we were walking around I was getting nothing but stares from every guy I passed.

“See! Too pretty to not go out. Every guy is staring at you” Chris said as we walked into another store

“Thanks Chris. You’re making me feel better about getting stood up” I said laughing a little bit

“Ehh fuck that loser we can have more fun together” he said giving my arm a nudge

After we left the mall, we decided on grabbing some dinner, and then he took me to the pier to walk the boardwalk and look at the night sky and the waves crashing on the shore.

While on the boardwalk Chris and I stopped for ice cream, and decided to sit down to eat them

“I really appreciate you doing this for me. I haven’t thought of chance since we left the house” I said looking over at him

“I’m glad. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to put a smile on your face” he said looking up at me

I just smiled, and he turned to continue eating his ice cream. I was looking at him in admiration. And only then did it hit me that I might’ve liked Chris. I mean he was always there for me, my biggest hype man, and we were inseparable when we were together. I was so scared of coming to realization with this, because I felt that he wouldn’t like me, and I struggled with rejection. So I pushed all those feelings to the back of my mind, but they never truly went away. Every guy I ever spoke and went on dates with had all reminded me of Chris, but they weren’t him. I either broke things off with them, or they ghosted me, and I was hurt, but I think I was more hurt at the fact I couldn’t come to terms with my adoration for Chris. It hurt that every guy I dated just wasn’t him.

I broke away from staring at him, and began to speak

“We should take some photos” I said, and as he was finishing his ice cream he agreed

Chris was my biggest hype man. Every photo he took always came with a comment “oh yes!” “Oh my god you ass looks so good like that, hold it!” “Eating these bitches uppp” he said and that made me laugh, as I laughed he snapped another photo.

“Ew Chris I hate my smile, why would you take that” I said walking over to him to look at the photo

“No Y/N, you look beautiful just standing there laughing, and in raw emotions. This is my favorite photo of you” he said as he looked at the photo with a smile on his face

“Whatever you say” I said blushing and trying to not sound excited

“Okay your turn” I said to him as I grabbed my phone from him and pushed him away

Chris was posing like a model. “Okayyyy fucking it up” I said as I took more photos. “It’s giving bad bitchhh” I said and he gave me the middle finger the same time I snapped the photo

“Oh Chris this might be the hottest photo of you” I told him as I showed him

“Ouuu you think I’m hot?” He said smirking at me

“Yeah…who doesn’t” I said rolling my eyes

He just stared at me and laughed. After a few more photos we decided to head back to the car, and chat some more.

“You know something” Chris said looking at me, and I looked back giving him a puzzled face

“I really fucking like you” he said looking into my eyes. This made me really nervous, and I just looked down and started to blush

“I have liked you for so long, and the fact that I didn’t come clean sooner is killing me” he said

“Chris…I like you too, and I’m upset I didn’t come to you sooner either. I looked for you in every guy I dated, and it hurt that they just weren’t you” I told him

“Nobodies like me” he said looking down at my lips

“Yeah I’ve realized that now” I said laughing a little bit

“Kiss me” he said, licking his lip, and so I did. I leaned in and smashed our lips together. We had a small makeout session before we both pulled away

“Omg Chris I got lipgloss all over you” I said laughing and covering my mouth

“That’s hot” he said looking into the mirror

I just smacked his chest and blushed

“How about we take a picture for that loser and send it to him” Chris said smirking at me, and to this I agreed

He took my phone and leaned into me as I leaned into him for yet another kiss, and he snapped the photo.

“Oh he’s gonna be maddd” Chris said laughing

I leaned over to see what he was doing, and he snaked his hand around me grabbing my ass and giving it a firm grab

“I meant it when I said your ass is so fat in these” he said biting his lip

“Chrissss stop” I said whining

“Keep wearing jeans like this, and I swear I’ll cum in my pants” he said licking his lips, and I looked at him before giving him another kiss and moving down to his neck

He moaned lightly, and then stopped me

“We have plenty of time for that, but for now let’s send these pics to him” He said giving me a quick peck on the lips

Chris opened up the message app and clicked on Chance name before sending him the photo

-fuck you :)

Chris typed, and then sent another photo. It was the photo of him with his middle finger up

“Omgg Chris he’s going to be sooo mad” I said laughing

“Yeah fuck him, but for now I get to kiss up on and love my beautiful girl” he said as he kissed me once more

After that we drove back to the house, and as we were walking into the house he kept grabbing and smacking my ass. Even as I walked up the stairs in front of him

“Chris stop” I said in a whisper as we both laughed

“I see you two had fun” Nick said as him and Matt were still on the couch

“Yeah we did” I said to them as I put my purse down and slipped my shoes off

“Oh Chris for sure had fun” Matt said laughing at him, and it was only then I realized my lip gloss and lip liner was still all over his face

“Fuck yeah I did, I was all up in there” he said

“CHRIS STOP IT” I said smacking him

“Don’t tell me…” Nick said with wide eyes

“No we didn’t fuck” I said laughing

“Omg okay I was going to say please don’t say anything I dont want to throw up” he responded

We all just laughed, and as I went to walk to the kitchen Chris smacked my ass again

“CHRIS PLEASE” I said as I turned around blushing

“Yall please don’t be gettin it on infront of us” Nick said covering his eyes

“Never” Chris said as he grabbed a handful of my ass, and started to lead me down to his room

“We’ll see yall tomorrow” Chris said as we walked downstairs

“PLEASE NO FUCKING” Nick and Matt yelled in disgust

“SHUT UPP” we both yelled back and laughed

Chris and I spent the rest of the night laughing and watching videos together. Occasionally making out, but other than that we called it a night at 11, and fell asleep snuggled into one another.

Tehee hope you guys liked this one😚😚

-J💅🏽

[icarus-summer]

Wrote a swercy moment at the 3AM yesterday. Wasn't going to post it, but I thought maybe this would encourage the fandom to write more stuff!

It's essentially A Light Or Somethin' from Mercy's poin of view

•

"What's wrong? Kiss me."

Mercy had never been rejected before. The boys would trip over their feet to get a kiss from her. The girls too. Some of the orphans were actually so desperate that they tried to steal it anyway. So when Swan turned away from her approaching lips, she didn't understand.

"You know, from the moment we came up town, everything's gone wrong." Swan took a step back. "Let's just keep walking."

Mercy felt her lip quiver. She only knew Swan and the rest of the Warriors for what, a few hours? But it felt like it'd been months. Years. Like she knew those women all her life and was just waiting to be reminded of it. No one got her like they did. They had fought together, that had to mean something, right?

Maybe batting some clowns together was not the ideal first date, but Mercy had fun. She felt light and free and happy and a bunch of other things she didn't knew she could feel.

"If I'm everything wrong, why'd you keep me along?" she asked, trying her best to hide the shakiness of her voice. "Tell me."

Swan didn't say anything, just kept still, her back facing the other woman.

"Why stick up for a stranger in spite of the danger?" She took a step foward and held Swan's hand. "Tell me."

Swan turned just slightly, so Mercy could only read half of her expression. Mercy wished she knew what any of that meant.

"Look at me!" She pulled Swan by the shoulders. "What in the hell are you looking for?"

And why wasn't it her? Why couldn't it be her? Swan tried to turn away again, but this time Mercy decided she wouldn't let her. She grabbed her wrist to try to put her hand on her face again. At least so that Swan could look in her eyes.

"Look at me! God, let me know what you're looking for..."

Swan pulled her arm away. It was too dark to see her face right, but she looked upset. Well, Mercy felt the same. She was sick of running away, tired of staying in the background. If only Swan could see what she saw.

"Don't know what you want from me, don't know what you think you see in me." She gave a disheartened laugh, while passing her hand through her hair. Mercy wished she could do the same. Swan's curly hair looked so soft.

How could she think that? How could she not see how perfect she was? Swan was probably the bravest, most courageous, gorgeus and strong woman that Mercy met. No one could compare.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Swan cutted her off immediately.

"Don't tell me you believe in me, you don't even know me! You lonely? You'll be just as lonely in Coney!"

Mercy crossed her arms, uncomfortable on how much Swan seemed to be able to read her. Yes, she was lonely. She was lonely all her life. At seeing how affected Mercy was, Swan's voice gone softer. Her hand went for Mercys arm, close, but not enough to touch her. Mercy's entire body seemed to yearn for Swan's touch.

"Look, I've been in and out of juvie, I was sleeping under the boardwalk when the Warriors came and claimed me. Cleon took me in and named me Swan. Now Cleon's gone, and tonight can't be undone, nothing done can be undone."

Mercy understood that. There was a reason why she was with the orphans. She also had no one. However, unlike Swan, she never had a connection to the Orphans. And before Swan, she never realized how much she craved for it.

"I'm beat up, I'm broken..."

That was not true. Maybe if Swan could just see how Mercy looked at. Of she could see how her eyes lighted up.

"Look at me."

"Do not put your hope in me."

Mercy wasn't going to give up. It wasn't like her. Giving their height difference, Mercy got on her tip toes and pulled Swan's face close to hers.

"What do you see?"

Swan didn't pulled away this time. She reciprocated the gesture, with one hand on her ace and the other safely on her waist.

"Mercy, what do you want me to say? That you're beautiful? Because I think we all know that you're beautiful. You're more than beautiful!"

Mercy felt her heartbeat accelarate even more.

"...More than beautiful?"

She almost wanted to cry. In all her life, she felt like a failure. Like an abnormality. Her beauty was all she had. And it was hard to be beautiful when you lived like she did.

But no one ever saw her more than that. A girl. A beautiful girl. But still a girl.

"You're more than your body! More than these lips..." She rested her hand on Mercy's cheek. Her thumb caressed Mercy's parted lips. "And if we ever someone get out of this place..."

"Then we'll go?"

At the same time Swan said:

"Then you'll go."

No. No, no. Why? Swan was doing this again. Trying to push her away. They could be so good together.

"Find something new."

Swan really couldn't see, could she? She couldn't see how Mercy already had found what she wanted. And it was right in front of her.

"It's all new!"

There was something that both of them could agree on. The light on the end on that tunnel had nothing on them.

Mercy thought Swan was finally ging to kiss her, but then they heard a train noise. Quickly, Swan pushed her against the wall of the tunnel and used her own body as protection.

After the train passed, they knew their moment was gone. They needed to keep walking. They need to get to Union Square. They need to find the rest of the warriors.

"Keep walkin'."

Swan pulled away, but offered her hand to Mercy to hold, which the woman gladly took it. With her free hand, Mercy pointed to the now visible end of the tunnel.

"I think I see a light or somethin'"

[imraespace]

CHAPTER 17: MEGUMI'S LIFE

JUST THE WAY THINGS GO | MEGUMI X READER

Megumi's old life was his best life. He may not have met you back then but atleast he had a completed family. His mother, father and his sister, but it went down the drain thanks to his father, that's what he thought atleast.

──────────────

Like normal, he woke up from the sound of his alarm. His sister was already up but wasn't outside like she normally will be.

"Why are you in here?" He asked her.

All he got was a frown and to his surprise she hugged him.

"Are you okay?"

And again he got no response.

Confused, he left the room and surprisingly, Tsumiki followed behind him.

He made his way to the living room and then saw what was happening.

His father talking to his mother as she packed her clothes.

"What's happening?" Megumi asked.

They both looked at their children, the two 11 year olds sticking together.

His mother smiled at him as she walked up to the boy and gave him a small pat on his head.

"Your father is sending me away for a while I will be back soon okay?"

"Why?" Tsumiki asked.

She then looked over behind Megumi.

"I won't tell you now so you have to wait until my back." She ended with a smile and walked up to Toji.

Why send her away? And if he wanted to do that, why is he the one sad and she's the one who's happy?

He didn't understand but all he did know from her words is that she's gone because of him.

He waited for years for her to come back but all he got was a letter and soon those letters had stop.

And then finally he met you, who actually made him happy. He didn't tell you anything about his mother, but always bad mouth his father.

But out of respect and because of Tsumiki, you looked at Toji as if he was your own father sometimes.

There was those times where Megumi will look at you as both your parents will pick you up from school and sometimes wished it was him and his own but be kept his jealously in.

Why should he be jealous of someone who's making him happy?

But then just like his mother, just like his father, you took Tsumiki away from him and didn't tell him why.

So why should he be happy? Actually why is he even draining his brain at 3AM, thinking of a text to send you?

He sighed as he turned off his phone but his eyes caught glimpse of a message.

It was from you?

But then his jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide.

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note: no one is dead in this story guys and also toji needs his wife for some happiness in his life🙄

[band--psycho]

Chibs Telford x Reader - Perspective

For @munsinner who requested this story so long ago for my dialogue prompt writing challenge!

Dialogue Prompt 380 - I'm breaking every rule in the book by being here

Everything was going to shit.

And what’s one thing that came when things went to shit, other than more shit? 

Perspective.

That’s why Chibs was here; at Y/n Tellers front door, working out how to tell her he loved her. 

Because he’d had enough; enough of sticking to the rules, enough of trying to be the good guy, enough of denying himself the one person he craved more than anything. 

Y/n Teller.

The princess of Charming, his best friend's younger sister, the one woman he swore he’d never fall for…

He’d tried. 

He’d tried so fucking hard to not fall for her, and even when he did fall, he tried so hard to push those feelings aside and act like they didn’t exist. 

But there was no one else for him.

No one else could magically make him smile on the dark days, no one could make him laugh as loudly nor could anyone calm the storm that tore through his mind late at night when he couldn’t sleep. 

Y/n Teller was the only woman who could. 

And selfishly, he wanted more. 

Even though he knew he shouldn’t.

He wanted more than late night chats at 3am, more than stolen glances when no one else was paying either of them any attention, more than a possibility of love. 

He wanted her, completely.

He wanted to tell her how he truly felt.

No more secrets. 

No more ‘almost’ moments.

He wanted her to be his; and to be hers in return. 

He wasn’t a saint, by any stretch of the imagination, he’d done things he’d regretted or wished he could’ve changed. 

The last thing he wanted was for Y/n to become another regret, another ‘what if moment’ in his life. 

He could work out the consequences later, but he needed her to know how he truly felt.

He knocked at her door, a small chuckle slipping past his lips when he heard her swearing about who was waking her up at this ridiculous hour.

Her swearing continued when she opened the door, wearing a fluffy dressing gown and matching fluffy slippers. Even in the middle of the night, when she wasn’t even trying to look good she was still the most perfect woman he’d ever seen. 

Her anger soon diminished when she saw who was standing there.

“Chibs?” She questioned, her eyebrows narrowed in confusion as to what he was going here in the middle of the night. 

He didn’t answer; silence descended upon both of them, as his mind tried to work out what he was going to say to her now that he was here. 

“Filip?” She asked again; softer this time as she placed her hand on his shoulder; her confusion shifting into worry. 

A million thoughts raced through her head about why he was here; had something else happened with the club…

“I’m breaking every rule in the book by being here,” he muttered, as he took a step towards her. 

Those words brought her back to reality.

A small gasp fell from her lips as she processed the words he said; she knew what he was talking about. 

There was only one rule she knew of that he could be referring to, and it made her heart skip a beat. 

“I need ye, lass, and I’m done pretending I don’t,” he continued; his eyes meeting Y/ns as he took another step closer towards her, she didn’t move, she just stood still letting him almost close the distance between them completely. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she breathed shakily as her arms wrapped around the back of his neck.

“I know,” he agreed quietly, glancing down at her lips before meeting her eyes again. 

“We should stop,” she whispered, her lips now inches away from Chibs’.

“Is that what ye want, love?” 

That’s not what she wanted at all.

But she knew that if they did this, if they broke the rules they’d both been sticking too for so long, she could never go back. 

“No,” she answered simply. 

That was the only answer Chibs needed before he closed the small distance between them. 

The world melted away. 

For a moment, nothing else existed; it was just the two of them, losing themselves in one another.

Without a word, they moved together, back into her flat, where Chibs kicked the door shut.

They kissed with a desperation that spoke of a need that had been building for far too long.

Chibs pulled her in close, his breath hot against her ear. “Yer mine now,” he mumbled, in between kisses,  “and I’m not letting ye go.”

And with that, he picked her up, carried her to the bedroom, both of them knowing that after tonight, things would never be the same again, but both of them being too lost in each other to care about the consequences.

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

I wrote this for me and my beatie because THEMES and PARALLELS but hey yk tumblr also gets my deranged thoughts too

under cut besties @fruity-legos @murkystarlight

Summary:

Cooper accidentally catches Mrs Garcia on her way out

Additional Tags:

Author is running on 3am crack juice. gummie trio flows through my veins. turning Cooper over in my brain like a hot pocket. what if, fight me. the parallels. Mrs Garcia’s name is Maria in this. no beta we die like me. Aged-Down Character(s), Cooper and Garcia sibs are tinyyy

Did she regret it? That was the question, it was aquestion that she knew she’d never know or be able to answer with the right answer.  Did it pain her heart to be the one responsible for the small cries and screams that echoed from the apartment behind her as she closed the door harshly behind her and entered into the crisp wintery world outside? 

Yes. 

Did it also make her bite her lip to keep her face neutral as her husband stared at her with those big sad, doe eyes as he silently begged her not to? 

Also yes. 

But this was for the better. 

For the better, it’s what she kept telling herself and maybe one day she’d believe that. 

Maria let out a slow exhale that turned into a puff of white cloud as it hit frosty air as she tightened her scarf around her neck. 

Just one foot in front of the other and she’d be on her way. 

Maria placed a hand on the railing and began to walk down the stairs of her home, well what had been her home. It took a cautious second so as not to slip on the ice but before she new it she had planted both feet on the sidewalk. 

She didn’t dare to risk a look back, no that wasn’t something she wanted to do, this was a new beginning for her and looking back would simply ruin that. Instead she tighten her grip on her briefcase and started to continue on down the sidewalk towards where her car was parked and packed with all her things. 

“BLACK SUDAN!” A high pitched voice yelled. 

Maria jumped and glanced around only to find a small, red clad child crouched down and staring intensely at the wheels of the car in front of her own. She blinked and stopped to peer closer at the child, oh she knew this one. It was Cooper, the weird little kid from across the street, but what was he doing outside looking at car wheels at seven in the morning? 

Maria shook her head but before she could force herself to simply walk away from the boy, he jumped up, a twig clutched in his hand. 

Cooper turned towards her happily and it seemed he was going to move onto the next car in the row, parked along the curb side, before he noticed Maria standing there and tilted his head up to look at her. 

The boy’s big brown eyes blinked owlishly. 

Maria blinked back, “Hello,” 

“Ollo,” Cooper responded as a grin split his face, “Is Mateo already up!?” 

Maria bit her lip, “Um, yes-“ yet before she could continue a thousand more questions and thoughts started steamrolling from Cooper. 

“Waoh, but it’s so early! He likes sleeping in, he told me that on Thursday. Oh hey, you have a beefcase, is it really full of paper and not beef? Because that very misweading, they should call it a papercase instead,” 

A small sigh slipped from Maria as Cooper kept going. She was sure he could keep talking and talking until he talked himself hoarse, just like her Izzie. 

“Where are you going?” 

Maria gave Cooper a blank stare as one of the things he said suddenly registered with her in her brain. 

Slowly she responded, “I’m … I’m going away,” 

“Ohhh,” Cooper said, sounding very thoughtful even though it had been the bare minimum of a word, “For how long?” 

“For a long time,” Maria mused, she hadn’t thought about returning at all. 

“Awww,” Cooper whined, looking down as he started to poke the snow on the ground with his stick, “Mateo’s gonna be sad, he loves you a lot. And Izzie,” 

Cooper then took a few steps closer and muttered, “She’s making something special for you for Christmas!” 

Cooper started to smile again and he vibrated a little like he was thinking about how cool whatever Izzie was making was. 

Maria bit the inside of her mouth, shame. 

“Is that so?” Maria breathed, she still couldn’t believe she was entertaining this conversation. 

Cooper nodded vigorously, “I can’t tell you what it is though because it’s a surprise! But I guess if you’re leaving you won’t know it is for a long time, like ten years!” 

Maria nodded, forcing a smile to stay on her face, and began to shuffle away a little bit, “Yes indeed I won’t.” 

Cooper’s face scrunched up as he thought of something and he asked, “But why?” 

Ugh, children and their why questions. 

“Why what?”   “Why are you leaving?” Cooper asked. The question so small and simple yet it truly was quite heavy.  Maria could admit it took her a second to think of a response. She crouched down carefully so she could look Cooper in the eyes. 

“Well you see,” Maria started with a shaky breath, “Sometimes people just don’t belong somewhere. Everything they do feels unimportant, and it’s as if what they currently have isn’t what they actually want. Sometimes a person just wants to escape that and find out where they truly do belong even if it does mean they have to leave everything they currently have to find whatever it is they’re looking for. And also sometimes life is just too much, so they leave, they runaway and try to figure things out again.” 

Cooper blinked at her again and Maria was left to wonder if anything she had just said made sense to him, he still was quite young so she wouldn’t be surprised if nothing actually stuck. 

Slowly, Cooper tilted his head to the side, “Oh, bu-but what about Mateo and Izzie? You … love them right?” 

Maria hummed and she placed a gentle hand on Cooper’s shoulder, “I’ll tell you what, since I’m going to be going away I’m going to need you to do something for me ok?” 

It took a second but Cooper nodded. 

“I’m going to need you to take care of Iz and ‘Teo for me. They’ll need some extra comfort and someone to be there, so I’m going to need you to be that person.” Maria told him, grabbing the hand of his that held the twig and holding it up, “And you’ll need to protect them too, from all the scary storms and monsters under the bed. So do you think you can do that?” 

Cooper’s eyes seemed to glaze over just a small bit before he fixed them on the twig and he nodded, “Yeah! I can do that! I’ll fight off all the big bullies for them!” 

Maria forced a grin. She then pat the boy on the shoulder and stood, “Good, good, now quick! Get inside before your nose freezes off!”

Cooper giggled and tapped his twig on the ground before running off in the direction Maria had just come from. 

With a sigh Maria pulled her scarf tighter around herself again and headed off to her car. 

Damn kid.