#one of these days im gonna draw some of them. for memories sake
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weirdmageddon · 1 year ago
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ur davejade posting has me Remembering and goddddd. theyre so good. thank u
i want to make a davejade analysis masterpost but the funniest thing with these asks is that theyre the ones that really prompt me to put my thoughts together in some direction and i ALWAYS find a new implication or connection to talk about. like while i’m writing the connections will just make themselves known. if i made a masterpost i’d have to update it every time i think of something new which defeats the purpose of a masterpost because it’d never be finished. so i just like to spitball into separate posts and just shove them in my davejade tag. i was NOT expecting to get back into homestuck with davejade at the forefront but i can see things now i didnt then
im gonna go off again because it’s so obvious to me on this jumpy scrambled “reread” that dave has a fat fucking heart-on / affection erection for jade. hes tryin soo hard to be cool but hes like this with jade actually behind the screen and she knows it
words and deeds of a court jester dude who totally has a crush on his childhood internet friend and doesnt acknowledge it (btw this is woefully incomplete for the sake of brevity but i could elaborate in another post. i actually have a draft (edit: posted) with a shit ton of more analysis stuff in it on why he acts differently with her than other characters):
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the next day (chronologically) when jade messages him:
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hussie commentary: “Dave's one-pixel-smile there means that there are literally more than ten thousand drawings on the internet of Dave and Jade kissing. That pixel literally made that happen.”
i mean … it sure is easy to assume how he feels about jade based on the way he talks to her and when his sprite only ever smiles one other time in the entire fucking comic and the reality of that other one was arguable since it was during [S] Karkat: Mental breakdown and its likely karkat was hallucinating it based on the content and context of the flash
nah this one was real. and it was from the first conversation we saw between dave and jade in the comic and thus set the standard for their dynamic. and remember old school 2009 dave was kind of a menace so it says a lot
this girl was special enough to him to warrant that pixel
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jade calling dave a “huge baby” for him getting nervous about a piss while she’s his server player. he makes such a big deal about it while shes like oh my god just go:
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and the absurdity of the situation being one of his favorite memories
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i know pesterquest isn’t “canon” canon but it passes my character essence check and still contributes something of substance to my argument. like i can say this is not at all out of place if these characters were plopped into these scenarios. remember this takes place on the same day as the above, 4/13/2009. theyre the same age as above and have the same relationship as they did above, just in a different scenario that wasn’t possible in canon wherein they didn’t play sburb
Jade wanders away from that window and toward another one, whose view is exclusively centered on the rolling blue. She presses a hand against the misty pane and sighs. JADE: you know, dave talks a lot about coming to visit me here. i mean, all of my friends do but dave especially JADE: in his usual davey way of course, which means making lots of jokes and not sounding very serious about it JADE: "yeah im itching to put on my safari hat and come traipsing down to doomdeath archipelago to get my ass murdered by infinidog the eldritch retriever," stuff like that JADE: i know he really means it though! he wants to see me, just like i want to see him JADE: but its just wishful thinking
anyway daves reaction to seeing his isolated online friend for the first time irl cry because she has guests. its even better with the character sprites
JADE: we can play with all my toys and jam out to some music and stay up all night chatting with each other and oh my god oh my god youre here youre all here this is really happening!!!!! Jade's next laugh verges on hysterical and she's got tears streaked down her cheeks. Dave looks a little perturbed. DAVE: wow holy shit uh DAVE: its cool jade no need to get so DAVE: like this DAVE: kind of fucks me up seeing you cry DAVE: not that im trying to make this all about me DAVE: i mean uh
and so after mspa reader’s intervention, who do we see with jade the next time we see her?
dave. and hes goofing with her squiddles while grinning
DAVE: okay so lets see what we got here Jade's room is bright and cheery, fresh flowers in the hanging pots, curtains pulled open wide to let in the afternoon sunlight. Jade sits on her bed while Dave paces in front of a line of squiddle toys, carefully assembled in neat ranks. DAVE: this blue one is clearly in charge look at his dominant posture DAVE: also hes the only motherfucker not tentacle deep in his homie DAVE: hes an untangled buddy that is some shit really cuts to the core of like DAVE: DAVE: emotions JADE: its actually because the magnets in him are messed up, and always have been!! DAVE: harley you are ruining the magic come on
basically what im putting together is that dave was REALLY fixin to spend some time with jade. extending into her sphere of interests that he doesnt express much with anyone else; you can tell he really wanted to engage with her in a less irony poisoned way. he’s softer with her than his other friends and god forbid the trolls, he is much less skeptical about things when talking to her (he even questions why he just seems to go along with her eccentric precognitive statements but he doesnt change his attitude about it), he showers her with his music and raps to the point where jade is expectant of getting poetry from him. rap IS poetry. please realize that dave is sending her his poetry, regardless of how goofy it may be. this is the level on which im viewing this at and once you realize this theres no going back. there comes a time in every homestuck’s life where they have to see how dave interacted jade and conclude that he had a cute little puppy crush on her unbeknownst to either of them. and it was adorable. and now, in the year 2023, it’s your time to realize this too. no going back.
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and btw it all came back around…………………nimblest son of a bitch who had the gumption to glue a nasty pair of latex cat lips to his face
for a reason that wasnt a joke anymore
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don’t think ive seen anyone talk about this parallel at the end to one of their first conversations in the comic. maybe somebody did back in the day but i never saw it
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pepper-steam-milkshake · 6 months ago
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i think what people tend to forget (seeing all these posts on my feed atm) is at the end of the day, YOU curate your own fandom experience. there is ALWAYS going to be someone who makes content you dont like. there is a very good chance that someone whose content you do like will make content you dont like for one reason or another.
things to keep in mind?
the content someone creates is not indicative of their nature. for fuck’s sake how many times have you seen someone who looks and acts absolutely sweet and then makes the most fucked up cursed shit youve ever seen— and vice versa. the content they make is not their personality. jfc, if someone writes a story about fairies, are you gonna go, “oh, they’re secretly a fairy”? NO. so it would be appropriate to apply that to other content that you as an individual may find inappropriate
if you see something you dont like, instead of taking the time and energy to give hate to it, just walk away and leave it alone. why do you want to continue engaging with it. is fueling those few minutes of anger truly worth being an asshole? PEOPLE make content. thats right— people with feelings, emotions, experiences, memories, and lives of their own. someone took the time to write something, and then to not only write that thing but then share it with the world in spite of whatever lingering feelings they may have to it. if youre gonna shit talk, do it in private. dont do it right where the artist can see.
with today’s day and age, it is nigh impossible to avoid minors, and the same goes for adults. everyone finds their way into a space somehow. we’re all enjoying the content, and we’re all enjoying it in different ways for different reason. occasionally it’ll match up, but you cannot expect someone to share your opinions and your own view of morality. if you think murder is bad and you hate that someone keeps making the characters in your show kill people, the solution isn’t to say “youre a bad person and you shouldnt be okay with murder”. thats not the statement theyre making. also just leave them alone???
if you dont like the content and want to see something different, instead of suggesting that they make it differently, make it yourself. “i cant draw”— PRACTICE. drawing is a pain in the ass for me. im not great at it but i still practice because i want to make the content i want to see. “i cant write”—PRACTICE. experiment and try new things. “but its going to be bad”— MAKE IT BAD. everyone starts somewhere, and the only way to make your version of better is to improve on your version of bad.
just some thoughts
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usahanna · 3 years ago
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this whole thing of making aus and alternate versions of sen reminds me of my ratchet and clank fixation in secondary school where i, again, made aus and alternate versions of ratchet while having a crossover au in my head that lasted 2 fucking years
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leviiattacks · 4 years ago
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hi bestie!! pls pretty pls do a levi one where he takes care of a sick y/n im feeling a bit under the weather and im getting kinda scared bc of covid :<< anything to help calm my nerves pls? thank you <3
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author note :: get well soon anon :-( i’m super sick rn too (when am i not tho </3) so i get how it is. this isn’t that great because i wrote it pretty quick but i hope it eases youuu :-) this is just pure fluff and sappy stuff and yup yup MODERN LEVI BC... listen i have a soft spot for modern levi word count :: some how i got to 1.4k ????? idk how i always go over the expected word count i have in my head 
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it’s literally been YEARS since the last time you were sick
if you really dig through the depths of your memory you’d say maybe you were last sick when you were seven???
it’s that or your memory is just not great
either way, you really do not want to bother anyone with your sickness so you decide to hole up in your room for the entire day
you don’t even tell levi about it because you know he’ll drop everything for the sake of your comfort
the only problem is that midway through the day you’ve become so bedridden you can’t even begin to fathom attending classes tomorrow
you guess you’ll be taking another day off
as that thought crosses your mind your bedroom door bursts open
“i...” levi lets out a long sigh and you look at him dazed from your pounding headache
you’re surrounded by scrunched up tissues and your cold meds have been left untouched
“i’m gonna get you sick too. back away.” you’re frowning and signalling with your hands that you want him out
your nose is stuffy and you’re sniffling but levi just rolls his eyes before he sits next to you on the floor
buried in your duvet you look a little like a burrito and he laughs at that
“do you know where the thermometer is? i’ll check on your fever.”
he’s looking at you waiting for an answer
you think for a second and then you try to rummage through the timeline of today’s events.
to be fair you’re a little disoriented but for some unknown reason you feel yourself get a little teary eyed
maybe it’s a mix of your upcoming deadlines looming over you or perhaps it’s missing a really important class today
but it’s so sudden you don’t even know why your body is making you act so irrationally but that’s what fevers do
“i think i” you sniff and then the waterworks flood out of you. your brain can’t adjust to the severity of your headache and your urge to sleep is higher than ever
honestly you don’t cry very much so to see the tears worries levi almost immediately
“im sorry i misplaced it.” you croak out, your voice is all scaly and weird, you hate it
stupidly you get upset about that too
don’t people sound hot when they’re sick?? why do you sound like an angry bear...?
this is not fair.
“and i’m stressed.” you blow your nose but it continues to drip despite your constant attempts to stop it
nose bright red and hair disheveled levi’s eyes soften when he sees your workbook laying at the foot of your bed
notes are scribbles in random corners and your mind map is a chaotic mess but you’re trying your best given the circumstances
god, even when you’re sick you’re working hard. you’re ridiculous but in the most endearing way known to man
“alright, lay down.” he runs a hand through your hair to fix the birds nest before he adjusts your pillows and places your head down gently
“i’m sorry i’ve lost the-”
levi’s index finger presses against your lips and he shushes you
“get some rest, please.”
you comply but not before giving him a playful glare
his warm palms move to hold your face. cheeks squished together he swipes your tears away
“i’ve got some soup on the stove you’ll be good in no time.” his soft reassurance is comforting and protective
nodding you flutter your eyes shut.
you’re unable to sleep but levi’s presence is enough to ease you even if it’s just a little you do feel better
fifteen minutes pass and levi returns he’s got you a hot cup of tea and the soup is nowhere to be seen
“i had an accident in the kitchen... so have some tea instead.”
you simply laugh it off, he’s trying his best and you’re alright with not having to be fed tomato soup
tomato soup..... it’s sick and twisted it tastes so bad
you recall having to force yourself to down an entire bowl last christmas after catching a cold
never ever again will you do that
anyways, pea soup superiority it’s the only valid type !!!
levi likes tomato soup though that’s the only reason it sits in bulk in one of the kitchen cabinets
he brushes the mountain of tissues on your bedside table away, he’ll dispose of them later
placing the cup of tea where the aforementioned tissues once were you then realize he’s brought you a slice of madeira cake to have alongside it
at this your eyes brighten you love madeira cake it’s so soft and buttery and simple but it’s just REALLY GOOD???
anyway, you definitely recommend everyone to have some it’s a solid 10/10
“picked some up on my way here.”
your heart swells affectionately
no one will ever love you as hard as he does
to be honest, the little things he does keep you grounded and you don’t really know where you’d be without him
he always pays attention to the things you love, always carries you from the couch to your bed, always tucks you in, always lingers a little just to make sure you’re sound asleep
you know about that last bit because on occasion you have stirred awake on accident
every single time he strokes your hair and holds you close ushering you back to sleep
again, you don’t know if it’s your fever making you emotional or the warm feeling of being loved so HARD?? it’s like whack a mole the only difference is being repeatedly hit by bursts of affection
not really a great analogy but your brain is fried right now and it’s the best you’ve got
levi sits next to you making the mattress shift and you then plop your head against his chest
“drink up.”
he hands you the cup of tea but you nuzzle your face into his neck instead forcing him to place it back down
“what are you doing?” he asks.
one of his hands draws circles onto your back soothing you and the other hand is fiddling around with the packaging of your cold meds, he looks to be reading the description just to make sure you can take them
the feeling of his t-shirt under your cheek fades away and you find yourself staring up at him
“get here.” he softly murmurs
rather than pressing a hand against your forehead he swoops down
at first his hands feel your face and neck
“you’re burning up.” he frowns and then he does it
he presses his forehead against yours and you swear you could stop breathing and pass out right then and there
“the fever’s getting worse, why didn’t you call me earlier i had to find out you were sick from-”
“i love you.”
he freezes.
“of course you love me but that’s not what we’re talking about right now.” he snorts and looks you right in the eye.
suddenly you’re kinda just a teeny-weeny bit self-conscious about your dark under eyes but you push that thought to the back of your mind
“no i mean. i really fucking love you levi.” the expletive only makes you sound more serious especially since you always scold him when he uses vulgar language
it looks as if his mouth moves to say it back but you stop him
“you don’t have to say it again. i’m saying it because you said it first.” you explain through your drowsy state
“when did i say it first?”
the fever must be really getting to you is what he’s thinking
“your actions spoke for you.”
he ever so slightly jabs you with his elbow before he carefully places your head back down onto his chest
“you’re so sappy.” he pecks your cheek and you hum silently still unable to breathe out of one of your nostrils
“i know but you’re sappier.”
levi doesn’t respond because he knows you’re correct
:-)
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homieswithhades · 4 years ago
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why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong
disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.
first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.
let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.
in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.
next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.
in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.
im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:
steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.
ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.
theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.
mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.
now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:
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ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."
heres some more:
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and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)
bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.
in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.
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bakugoukatsuki-rising · 4 years ago
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I'm. The new covers, op. The new covers. Gosh. Both of them hold so much symbolism. And technically they both are canon, they are both original ideas that could perfectly be valid. Horikoshi simply found something better. But anyways, I'm going to go ahead and ramble about it because Im- Op, prepare for a long ask! Hope you like it!
So!
On the one where Katsuki's the one in the picture, he's not on his knees like he is in the other two covers. Instead, he has his face down, body forward, one hand on one leg, the other one holding out for something...He's bowing. Bowing in Japanese culture is a pretty big deal. Hes not just tilting his head a bit, his head and body are on full on commitment.
Such a tilted bow means a LOT, specially from THIS guy, Mr dont let anyone walk in front of me. Even more when hes not just bowing, but accepting such an open display of given help, Mr shonen anime lone wolf. Accepting something he always has trouble admitting to. Accepting the past, accepting the wrongs. Accepting Izukus help means so much, and that's what these three covers have in common.
His hand is sctretching out. He's ready to say yes to that hand out in the air.
(Ps. I wonder if he's watching his own reflection on the water in this panel, as well?)
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Hes in middle of the picture with those childhood friend at the back, which means audience. It means letting people see what hes done, what he's sorry for. He is being open and exposed and vulnerable. That's no fighting stance.
Remember guys, in case you haven't noticed before, Horikoshi puts lots of metaphorical value in his manga and on his covers. Sometimes you've got to dig in deep and think to get the bigger picture. And in this case, the bigger picture screams regret and wanting to make things right from the start.
This cover occurs in the past, at the moment where everything started, and Katsuki fully remembers this. Katwuki has thought of this, is thinking about this. He's had eye bags for gods sake, he's clearly troubled by all of what it means.
These three covers are the visual explanation of what's going on inside Katsuki's head, because this is clearly focused on him and his perspective.
(Ps. Rivers symbolise the massage of time. If that doesnt add to everything else, I dont know what to tell you.)
So! Next!
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Wow, if this isnt one of my favourite things ever. Okay. Christ.
I have two options here. Scratch that, three options. Scream into the void, scream into this post, or actually make a good presentation of my inner turmoil. I'll have to go by the third option. (Haha. Just like horikoshi did. Dont # me, I'm funny in my head.)
This cover melted my insides, froze them all over, and hit me with them like a hammer.
I know they're kids, but let me get this straight-so kids seriously look at their friends with these looks in their eyes and think "ah, yes. This is my very good friend. This gentle smile and kind look I'm giving him as if he was my whole world? Well, hes just a very good friend."
I looked at my childhood crush this way, I dont know what to tell you.
Anyway, let's actually jump to the information at hand.
This panel seems like it's making a reference to what Katsuki wishes could have been. And if that's not absolutely soul-crushing...this cover is Katsuki's feelings, guys. These are probably his very thoughts. This scene has gone through Katsuki's head at some point.
We've got Izuku in his stuck up pose all over again, in just an awkward angle. It's like katsuki isnt looking AT this katsuki right now, but at the spot where the actual past Katsuki, at some point, was. As if this Isuku is frozen in time. Dont believe too much in this paragraph, I still have my doubts about that, but I feel it's a possibility. Izukus eyes seem to be focused on the water, while Katsuki is just the tiniest bit back, reaching for Izukus hand. And gosh.
I dont think I've ever seen older NOR child Katsuki have this look plasted into his face before. He's...sheepish. Kindly, awkwardly sheepish. No hate, no anger, no shame, no nothing. His face is clear and sweet and has this "Whoops. You got me. But thanks." kind of expression on.
The hand behind his head, just the tiniest but embarassed? That little smile? It's all so soft.
Rambling about softness though- I really liked the hand scene in this particular panel. If you close up your view, you realise that theres no effort to pull anyone out of nowhere. In this panel, they are simply holding hands in frozen time for no purpose at all.
Katsuki has his hand around Izuku...simply holding there.
Again, because the angle is awkward, it's kind of messy, but you get the point.
It's all simply beautiful. Horikoshi clean likes give me life.
And lastly. The actual cover.
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I screeched so hard when I saw this. My first instinct when seeing this for the first time was to straight up go trigger happy fingers and write about it to my friends. Christ.
Everything is so...SOft. horikoshi made a good decision by mixing both previous drawings in one. We have parts of the two covers in one, which is amazing. In this one, Katsuki isnt alone, as Izuku's there too. But we dont have the audience either. Probably because the main focus on this panel is no one else except them two.
Again, Katsuki looks like he's bowing, but instead of looking all the way down, he's in the middle. Not looking at Izuku nor looking at the ground, like it shows in the previous covers. Instead, Horikoshi found a middle ground. He's looking at his hand. At the gesture.
Hes not holding hands quite yet, but his hand is there. At arms reach. Not close enough but there. Wanting.
Theres so much regret and again, softness.
Again, like you Op said a bit bad, the angle is off here. This is present Katsuki remembering his past. The angle is off because this Izuku isnt holding out for our Katsuki. This is a memory. A wish. Katsuki's wish.
(Ps. Izukus trousers drenched in the rivers water. This detail was so nice. It's a subtle action that describes Izukus characterization so much. Izuku went in the river with Katsuki in mind, not caring if he got his clothes soaked in the process too. For Izuku, only Katsuki was there. And for Katsuki, only Izuku is.
As a plus, I can't believe the cover of this is literally called Bakugou Katsuki rising. They named the entire thing after that one chapter. Actually, I very much, totally believe it. It's the moment so many people have been waiting for, after all. The moment so many scenes have been amounting for, little by little.
*dreamy sigh*
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this little thing, I had to get it out of my system and dont want to bother my dear friends anymore than needed.
Have a good day, OP! I'll stay updated!
You kinda just...took my heart and curb stomped it, not gonna lie. Your observations are so beautiful and so accurate. The sketch with little Bakugou taking Izuku’s hand is so...raw, and yeah, that expression is definitely one of love. Those eyes, the way he is HOLDING Izuku’s hand, not TAKING it. He isn’t taking it to stand up, he is literally just...holding it. 
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That isn’t the way you take someone’s hand when you’re trying to pull yourself up. It’s an awkward angle and just...wouldn’t work right. No, he is literally just holding his hand, and that’s exactly what Bakugou wishes he did all that time ago. He wishes that he not only took Deku’s hand, but held onto it. Held it as if it were something precious, something to be cared for and protected. 
These are Bakugou’s true feelings expressed in these drawings, and I think Horikoshi released them on purpose, to show us more of what he wanted Bakugou to be feelings through all of this. Since after all, we know that Bakugou expresses himself in action, not so much words. And because Horikoshi is an absolute genius, he thought to give us these other glimpses in how he feels through these actions. 
And the other sketch with him bowing his body to Izuku, and the way the log looks like it’s on his back with his ‘friends’ on top of it. 
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The pressure of needing to be the coolest, the strongest, the best. Those kids put that kind of pressure on him, even if they never realized it. They encouraged his behavior and fed his ego, and it never allowed him to see how he was wrong. But now he is realizing it, and he is bowing himself in light of that acknowledgement. He is lowering his head and putting his pride away, so he can get back what he lost all those years ago; the opportunity to take Izuku’s hand.
To take the hand of the only one of those kids that ever loved him unconditionally. Who never pressured him or expected him to be invincible. Who saw all of his flaws and was completely prepared to support him despite all of it. The only one. 
I’m just a mess over all of this, and I am so incredibly thankful to Horikoshi for creating this beautiful relationship. AND IN A SHOUNEN MANGA, NONETHELESS!!  
Thank you friend, for your beautiful thoughts. I think they’re spot on, and I am so emotional all over again because of this. 
159 notes · View notes
kuboism · 4 years ago
Text
Bleach Canon Vs. Studio Clown Episode 1
Intro to the series
WARNING: Long read but theres plenty of pictures
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The first deviation we’re greeted with is what the anime presents as the arrival of hollows into the human world. With a likely artistic rendition of them forming from the shadows of Hueco Mundo and dripping/bleeding over into the human world like splotches of ink, after which they disappear - unable to be perceived by humans.
A/N: Which, kubos to the anime, is rather neat.
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The anime also decided to incorporate the first volume poem which is the thematic beginning and a great establisher of the mood/themes of Bleach, which roughly translates to: 
我らは 姿無きが故に それを畏れ
“We fear that which cannot be seen”
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And then they curiously add a line to this poem? 
姿無き故に敬う
”We revere that which cannot be seen"
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A/N: Which, initially seems on brand with the spiritualism of that “which is not seen” - the shinigami, DEATH itself if you will. However, unlike the themes of “fear” and “fear of death/the unseen”, “reverence” is not really a theme prevalent or definitive for bleach. Reverence is not particularly reserved for death or death gods, but antagonists with themes of divinity/the Soul King himself, but I digress.
Next off the bully scene has a couple of missing/reworded lines, as well as some of the delivery changed, but overall it’s not significant enough to mention.
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I also wish they’d kept Ichigo’s shit yourself scary face from this moment right here, since it really underlines how serious and personally invested Ichigo is in bringing small justice to the souls of the departed, but I can only pray a future remake does include it.
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^ I am disappointed in y’all :/
vs.
v Karma delivery, bitch
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Then for some reason the next scene is changed significantly:
In the manga, it builds up slowly to Ichigo’s reveal of supernatural abilities with the iconic TM character profile intros (which I can see why weren’t recreated in the anime, but I sure wish they put them in....)
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with him spooking the bullies off with the ghost girl right behind him
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Versus his scary face doing the job instead.....
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It’s a small change, and I can see why it would be opted for - we don’t really know if they even saw the ghost in the first place (then again you could argue that would spook them anyway). There is a tonal difference in the long run though. The manga emphasizes once again *why* ichigo is scolding them in the first place - he sees the people disrespected by them knocking down the vase, he wants them to acknowledge their actions *because* in his mind, there are real victims he knows from it. While in the anime, since the ghost is not yet introduced, it feels more like “you are disrespectful to the dead” in a more generalized way vs. him actually being acquainted with the dead and treating them like the living. 
(Again, not sure why change it so much at all........the suspense and reveal are in the manga just the same.... but ok)
As well as cutting off this small moment where you can see Ichigo’s very human (and cute!) interactions with the ghosts. To him they’re just as real as the living, and he lends them a hand whenever they ask for help.
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Also lmfao this 4kids level of censorship.....
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It goes on rather faithfully for a while, no significant omissions, then Pierrot decides to randomly replace Yuzu’s lines with Karin??
Manga:
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Anime: 
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Which is an odd choice, given that not only does Yuzu sense ghosts just fine (albeit at a much lesser level than her family) and that later comes into play with Fishbone & Grandfisher, but Karin literally later admits that she doesn’t even want to acknowledge their presence, so why the change....?
They also cut short Karin’s little talk about Ichigo’s stats, which is a fair change for screentime’s sake, but mentioned for the record.
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There’s a bit of a divergence with Yuzu lore, when the manga explicitly states she sees them, but not “clearly”, the anime focuses on her barely sensing them. I guess it doesn’t matter that much in the long run, since she is not that prevalent in the story, but it’s here for the record nonetheless.
Anime: 
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vs. 
Manga:A
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Also this next bit was removed, probably for the sake of pacing (which, totally fair!!), but it’s funny and I love the Kurosaki family so here it is:
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It does make the flow a bit better in the manga, since this talk of selling his talents distracts Ichigo and creates an opening for his father to strike, in the anime, the same is done with Ichigo just randomly saying 
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and thats where his father attacks him, which isnt really an issue, just kind of funny of how the manga is like:
Ichigo’s distracted by his sisters plotting to sell him out and hence Isshin has his chance to strike back
vs the anime being like:
Ichigo randomly thinks about dinner mid convo about ghosts and thats what distracts him from play-fighting with his dad 
gfdkhlgfdg okayyyy....moving on 
In the manga this scene is interspliced with Ichigo’s inner monologue about the nature of his powers (with hip jargon like “for real” courtesy of Viz ) 
(but my beef with Viz translations are for another day)
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Also the line about “He told me more ghosts than ever have been haunting me” has been given to Karin for some reason, probably to make her feel more included in the scene/Ichigos life.
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Notably, Isshin’s response is changed from “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you (Yuzu, singular)” to “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you guys?” as well, again probably to include Karin more into the dialogue. (Mmmm ok....)
Minor detail, but Karin’s lines has been changed to more “boyish” speech structure in the Japanese dub, which may seem insignificant, but ...... that is for later. 
.....
This little exchange
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 is replaced with: 
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Which, seems innocuous adaptation differences, but Yuzu’s lines keep decreasing and it’s a short enough moment to like....include and establish how motherly Yuzu is acting towards Ichigo.....but ok...huh. 
And now we get into the big boy changes.
So, probably for the sake of grounding the supernatural element of the series, the anime decided to skip time to the next morning and introduce the hollow attacks with a news report.
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Which.....is an interesting choice. I am assuming this is addressing how the real world perceives the hollow attacks, which Bleach doesn’t put too much effort into addressing, but very soon after this we learn about stuff like memory replacement and other various technology to keep things under wraps so this is either redundant or implying that shinigamis have not been doing their job, which hm......
Next off is the bizarre choice to paint Isshin out of the picture for the night
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Not sure why, but ok
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Again, where’s the shinigami with their Kikanshinki (memory replacement devices)??? Pierrot where’s the lore coherence......
Anyway, Ichigo goes to replace the girl’s vase, but suprise-surprise she’s gone-zo. Wonder what happened to her.....
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(And....again, people vehemently don’t want a reboot when the anime looks like this? )
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So Ichigo hears a scream and a hollow scream and follows the sound (Ok?).
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Totally random hollows attack. Which Ichigo somehow has never seen so far? Mind you, this isn’t like in the manga, where Fishbone was sent by Aizen specifically after Ichigo to make him aware of it. These are random-ass hollows attacking people, so how come Ichigo suddenly sees them. Ya coulda played it safe Pierrot, and stuck to the book, but we got plot inconsistencies episode one so let’s party.
The girl is, of course, not eaten and they run away.
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She trips at the most inconvenient moment. (can ghosts trip? Ghost don’t even have legs in japanese lore and Kubo draws them floating around so okkkkkkkk)
(ok ok, im just being petty, bUT YKNOW)
(convenient tripping on deadass levelled ground is convenient)
(also God I really want that bag Ichigo’s got on his shoulder, it looks so nice)
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Random-ass hollow closes in and 
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BOOM
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Rukia
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(Now, if the rest of Bleach and the manga didn’t exist I would like this moment. We get a glimpse into Rukia’s abilities, into shinigami as a concept and we don’t really get to see her slice and dice hollows that much overall so the moment itself is rad in isolation.
Now, unfortunately for Pierrot’s screenwriters, Bleach manga exists and so does it’s lore, which again, would not be inconsistent with each other if the adapation was faithful. Now, Ichigo sees a shinigami, for some reason, for the first time in his 15 years of life. All of a sudden. 
You could argue, that much like in the manga, this is all part of Aizen’s plan TM, but like, she literally leaves right after leaving Ichigo gaping in awe ghfkjgdf. Why’d Aizen give him an appetizer, I really don’t understand how this change is benefitting the narrative in any way. It’s ....dare I say....generic.)
Rukia yeets the hollow
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(why is this kid suddenly not wearing shoes?)
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and goes off on her merry way, leaving Ichigo shooketh
ALSO RUKIA MA’AM THERES A FUCKING STRAY GHOST RIGHT AT YOUR RIGHT????? ISNT IT YOUR LIKE....JOB.......... TO HELP GHOSTS MOVE ON??? i know killing hollows is the fun part, but like ghjkfdlgfd ??? are you gonna ignore her???
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( his fucking face ghfjdkgdlfgfd)
So after this wholeass pointless detour (you’ll see why it’s pointless in a moment)  we timeskip again (the filler is strong in this one. These 6 minutes were worth not coming up with something cohesive and removing scenes that actually make sense ah yes)
Ichigo is in deep thought TM about who tf is the stranger he’d just seen. Likely mulling over the monsters and how this person was able to slay said monsters. Probably thinking how unusual they are.
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and as if on cue
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the stranger makes their presence once more
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(my God these faces gfhgkldfg)
....
Now let’s briefly address what happens in the manga instead.
Instead of the whole timeskip scene with the fight, Ichigo simply returns to his room on the same day, and oddly enough recognizes the species of the butterfly he sees? (nerdy boi! nerdy!! boi!)
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rukia arrives much the same
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(With the little text emphasizing how he’d never been aware of soul reapers, which is unsurprising given their secrecy, and makes sense in the long run since their first meeting is specifically orchestrated by Aizen. Two species that werent meant to interact brought together by his schemes.)
Back to the anime:
Ichigo pauses to ponder who tf they are and why the fuck they’re there.
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and then the anime has the gall to suddenly revert to sticking to the manga, which like.... Ichigo kicks her for no reason? I guess because she isn’t answering? Even though Ichigo knows she has a sword and can wield it? Reckless boy.
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Manga Ichigo thinks she’s a burglar, therefore, unsurprisingly, is comfortable kicking her outta his house. It’s a silly moment, but it also shows how accustomed or stupidly brave he is with the supernatural.
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In the anime Ichigo asks her who she is instead of all that, and she responds pretty similarly to the manga
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AND THE NEXT SCENE IS WHERE IT CLICKS WHY THEY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO REMOVE ISSHIN FROM THE HOUSE.
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(Ichigo and Rukia addressing the pointless filler, this leads nowhere)
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Rukia check him out like she’s checking if the oranges on sale dont have mold on them 
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slapstick ensues
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and Rukia decides to answer his question.
Vs. the manga in which Isshin doesn’t leave his children home alone for some random conference and is actually used very efficient for two reasons:
1) building up on the burglar gag with actually funny slapstick that is based on a previously established joke
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2) Instead of Rukia just saying “oh usually people can’t see me”, we get an actual demonstration of it, the reader gets to see “oh Isshin can’t see her - she must be a spiritual entity,” which further clicks with her surprised reaction at him being able to kick her in the first place.
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The next scene is the classique Pierrot censorship.
Ghost girl runs away from what I’m assuming is Fishbone.
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Aside from not showing her get eaten, the scene is pretty much delivering the same message, 
bUT
BECAUSE OF THE STUPID ASS FILLER WITH THEM MEETING RUKIA BEFORE THIS, I CAN ACCUSE RUKIA OF NEGLIGENCE.
UNLIKE THE MANGA, where Rukia arrives the night before and is specifically seeking Fishbone, therefore having no time to help this girl pass away, 
This vvvvvvv
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could have been prevented if SOMEONE DID THEIR FUCKING JOB THE DAY BEFORE VVVVVVV
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(I rest my case. Thank you Pierrot for making Rukia either negligent or an idiot. Awesome, And mind you, these changes were unnecessary. The manga’s pacing is fine. They could’ve extended scenes. But nope, had to go for making them meet beforehand.)
Anyway, we get to see some actual stakes in the manga
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The next scene which is this in the manga 
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has two changes to it. Firstly, obviously Isshin being consoled by Yuzu isn’t included since he isn’t home in the anime, and even if he were, I can see why that would be removed, cute as it may be.
And secondly, due to them having met prior Ichigo asks two additional questions:
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And Rukia nods at both, which means she acknowledges that she had seen the girl the hollow was after and yet did nothing to help her pass on. 
(Reminder the Bleach anime was in production WAAAAY past the first 4 volumes, which gave a good general idea of the series, which y’know, was fine to adapt as is.
You’ll see these changes add up into becoming inconsistent with further Bleach lore. There’s a reason people call Bleach a hot mess, and I’m afraid Kubo ain’t really it.)
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(Volume 14 Note from Kubo where he talks about the anime being announced)
Back to the series
Pet peeve time: Wish the anime was half as expressive as the manga
These scenes are supposed to represent
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This panel:
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(Nitpicking? Perhaps, but idc)
So uh, this scene is odd
Again, because of the addition of that filler with the hollow
Ichigo has seen her in action
And they even added Rukia trying to convince him 
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even though, yknow???
LITerally the previous day???
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Anyway  in the manga, where Ichigo has reason to be distrustful of her and her claims since y’know hes never seen her or a shinigami in action, but has enough proof that she’s a ghost bc his dad didn’t see her, he simply dismisses her before she can reply, and instead of just getting angry for being called a pipsqueak
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she shows both Ichigo and the audience proof of her spiritual powers by binding Ichigo and forcing him to quietly listen to her explanations.
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(To reiterate - Anime Rukia  has to verbally try to convince Ichigo WHO SAW HER FIGHT A HOLLOW THE OTHER DAY that shes no ordinary ghost. And because of that, she has no other reason to use Sai on him other than that shes mad she was called a pipsqueak bc she just tried to verbally convince him shei is a shinigami. When they could just adapt the manga and have her both demonstrate her powers and put him in his place at the same time. Wild.)
Also CRIMINALLY BORING SHOT, WITH CRIMINALLY BORING RUKIA
#NotMyRukia
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LOOK AT THE MANGA
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LOOK AT HER SMUGLY OWNING ICHIGO’S IGNORANT ASS #FuckYeahRukia
Also the subs may not show it if you’re watching it on Netflix, but anime Rukia says “I am not allowed to lay my hands on humans outside orders,” which like, you ARE LITERALLY DOING THAT. Manga Rukia is fine with bullying Ichigo, but she draws a line at killing him, but man Anime Rukia, you give no fucks about the laws huh.
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why so cheerful?
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(also Rukia be right tho)
(specifcally compared to hell you could say Soul society is a resftul place lmfao)
Also anime salary man gets to rest in peace, even like, pray and shit
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Meanwhile the manga
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YEET TO SOUL SOCIETY
(also notice how we’ve been robbed of ichigo’s silly socks
I swear the anime knows how to suck the soul out of the manga 
Get it? Soul! haha ....moving on.)
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Really Rukia? One of your jobs?
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GUESS YOU WERE OFF DUTY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I’M SORRY BUT LIKE, SEE HOW POINTLESS THIS FILLER IS UGH!!!)
(Again pet peeve but look at how ugly this screen is COMPARED TO THE MANGA)
(What have they done to you, queen)
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(also they never mention the name Konso ( or as Viz calls it here -”soul funeral”, thanks Viz)
Next on, not a pet peeve, but an observation:
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Anime Rukia keeps her sketchbook in her kimono
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Manga Rukia keeps it at the titty
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Yep, which you neglected to do the day before,
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she literally says “With the konso I did just a  moment ago” like she used the word before. Like you can contextually get it, but why cut that line out of the dialogue if you don’t change the next line it’s referenced in?
There’s also a dialogue change from the manga’s well, Viz uses “vaporize” which is not a bad choice given the specific wording Kubo uses, but the original says 
昇華 • 滅却
sublimate/convert • extinguish
which is a clever little nod/foreshadowing to the nature of souls in bleach and that they can be “converted” in and out of a hollowfied state. 
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While the anime just says “to slay hollows”, and albeit it lacks the little nod the manga has to offer, I can’t see how they’d include it in the anime at that stage so I’m fine with them simplifying it to like, an exorcism.
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A better question then Rukia - WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND OFF HER SOUL????
also WAIT THE GIRL IS STILL ALIVE?? she’s dead-dead by this point in the manga.
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BULLSHIT !!!  YOU LITERALLY EXPLAIN LATER WHY!! ACTUALLY YOU EXPLAINED EARLIER WHY!!! YOU LITERALLY SAID THIS, 1 MINUTE AGO :
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Anyway, Fishbone almost grants her the priviledge of escaping this God-awful anime, but is suddenly stopped?
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AND CAN TALK??
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wait WHY DOES FISHBONE TALK?? GHFJD isnt this supposed to be  a juicy reveal for later when Ichigo realizes “hey theyre not actual complete monsters - but used to be humans!” Hm, ok.
Also leaves her alone? Damn ok...
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Reminder:
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Moooving on...
Speaking of the manga, this little moment is missing:
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Since there is no pointless filler that would make him ask about the ghost girl therefore exposing Rukia’s slacking off of her duty, Ichigo realizes that there must be a hollow nearby bc in the manga he actually has braincells to spare. 
Also wiping off the Baron’s moustache moment is gone 😢
Missing and dearly missed is also this moment, which consolidates how protective Ichigo is of his family. He only needs to hear Yuzu scream to click that the hollow is nearby and his family is in danger. I feel like anime Ichigo should be even more worried since his sisters are alone but ok??
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Also foreshadows their dynamic of Rukia trying to stop his reckless attempts at pushing himself to protect his family, bc yknow....she has her own Kaien trauma to process.
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Next off....
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This is .... a choice....
They were very eager to give Yuzu’s lines to Karin just a couple of moments ago but now this whole exchange:
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Where we see a very pragmatic yet soft side of Karin
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She doesn’t know what is happening, and doesn’t expect her brother to fight it - he just wants him to be safe, because she loves her family. At least warn him before it gets to him and hurts him.
is replaced with this:
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Yuzu, sweetie, what do you think he can do to achieve that.
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I guess at least Anime Ichigo tries to get Rukia to do her job as she looks down on Yuzu in silence. 
But compare it to the manga:
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#MyRukia stops by Karin to check for a pulse and reassures Ichigo that his sister is alive.
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Manga Ichigo is NUMBER ONE oniichan in town and doesnt have time to call out to a stranger to save his family - HES BEYOND READY TO GO FIGHT, RECKLESS AS IT IS, EVEN THOUGH HIS OWN FAMILY BEGS HIM TO JUST RUN. because he cant let himself be unable to protect them. He cant live with himself if he doesnt try his darnest to protect them.
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*elevator music playing as ichigo tries to get rukia’s attention but she fucks off downstairs, but instead of doing shit he just does the worm on the floor*
which I guess is more realistic for a teenage boy, but Ichigo is literally traumatized by being unable to protect a family member. Y’all think a ghost he’s never seen before is gonna stop him? 
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Yooo, pathetic. #NotMyIchigo
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108 notes · View notes
izukubuns · 5 years ago
Note
hi!! is it alright if i can req for a scenario where shouto slowly realizes he has feelings for his childhood friend?? everyone would know that the two are pining for each other but shouto is just a lil oblivious to his feelings and his friends ;v; i hope this was specific enough!! sorry if its a bit vague;;
.:it was always you:.
warnings: shouto being oblivious, light angst
word count: 2.8k
a/n: LMAO IM SOOOOOOO SORRY THIS SPIRALED. no but truly i got emotional, so sorry if it isn’t what you wanted. im definitely willing to write another, fluffier version of this prompt in the future, though. thank you for requesting <3
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“kou?”
“s-shou..”
“huh? i can’t hear you.”
your tiny hands rested on your hips as you tilted your head in confusion. you were at the grocery store, your mother was talking to a friend. this friend of hers had a child as well, and your mother had insisted that you make a friend. fine, no problem. little ol you loved making friends. todoroki, however-
“shouto!” he yelled. you were currently in todoroki’s face, your nose just a couple inches from his. he wasn’t sure why you were so close, your eyes locked on his. you blinked, then finally smiled. “oh, well why didn’t you say it before! i’m (y/n)!” you were missing a front tooth. todoroki couldn’t help but notice, and it made him laugh a little.
“ma says you’re the same age as me. that means we should be friends, right?” you said, looking at your mother, then back at the boy in front of you. “i wanna play with you, shou!”
playdates became frequent. whenever the two women would meet, they’d bring you and todoroki along with them. more often than not, your playdates were at the park. you were more rowdy than your candy cane haired friend, almost always scraping your knees for the sake of “adventure”. you had even fallen out of a tree once, resulting in plenty of scrapes and bruises.
“(y/n)! are you okay?! m-mom!” todoroki would panic, calling out for help. you’d just smile at him, always getting up and brushing it off like it was nothing. “it’s okay, shou! i’m strong! it doesn’t hurt!” there were tiny tears in your eyes, but todoroki ignored them. if you said you were strong, then he believed you.
“we’re both gonna be awesome heroes, remember? that means you’re strong, too, shou.” you’d always call him strong, pick him back up when he needed it. when really, you had always been the stronger of the two. while all might was his idol, he swore to himself that he’d become as strong as you, too.
todoroki wanted to follow you everywhere.
until eventually, the todorokis stopped showing up.
you’d always ask, “ma, how come i don’t get to see shou anymore?” “is that auntie rei on the phone? can i talk to her and shou?”
“rei and shouto are busy with their family. we’ll get to see them soon,” your mom would say, smiling and holding your hand. her smile never reached her eyes. “i miss shouto, ma. isn’t auntie rei your friend? don’t you miss her too?”
she inhaled sharply, looking anywhere but at you. “of course, baby. i miss her so much. but we’ll get to see them. another time.”
however, your mother knew that there was a large possibility that you wouldn’t see rei or shouto for a long time.
*:..。∞♡∞。..:*
the next time you saw todoroki, he almost didn’t recognize you. if he was being honest, he barely remembered you. after all those years that his father had put him through, he’d blocked out many things from his past.
when he first saw you again, it was the first day of class. you were talking to some classmates, your back turned to him. unconsciously, he stared at your figure, trying to figure out why you seemed so familiar. he didn’t snap out of it until he saw mina pointing at him and smiling, drawing the attention of the others. it seemed like an eternity before you finally turned around. but when you did, oh when you did.
he felt like he’d gotten the wind knocked out of him. his memories came rushing back to him as if he was on the brink of death, watching his life flash before his eyes. you grew up... quite nicely. and you were powerful, he observed.
todoroki watched as your eyebrows furrowed and your mouth fell slightly open. you moved to come closer, but then aizawa entered, ordering everyone to sit down. you sat behind midoriya, so your seat wasn’t too far from his, which resulted in him staring at the back of your head. about a week into the new school year, you finally confronted him at lunch, confirming both his and your suspicions.
“todoroki, huh? never knew you were the son of such a big shot,” you said. todoroki’s usual blank expression twisted into a frown. “whatever. it’s not a big deal.”
you flinched at the harsh dismissal of your statement, but quickly gathered yourself. “it’s funny to see you after such a long time. you really disappeared on me. my mom missed you, too,” you admitted, hoping to shift the mood. however this only upset him further, much to your confusion. he snorted, keeping his head down towards his food.
as the days went on, you prodded, trying to get him to open up, only for him to reject, or simply ignore you. this wasn’t the shouto you knew all those years ago. shouto was never this abrasive. while you two acted as normal classmates, your attempts to get him to open up were futile. though a while later, you’d soon discover the reason for his actions.
he’d admitted his past to you after the sports festival. ever since his confrontation with midoriya, he felt bad for the way he treated you. none of this was your fault, he thought. you had made him happy at one point, so why was he trying to pretend like you were a nuisance? just looking at you had frustrated him.
though, looking at you didn’t actually make him mad, it made him sad. his father had taken him away from you so soon, too soon. he wasn’t allowed to see his first and only friend. he couldn’t help but let his negative emotions take over after seeing you all these years later.
after battling with his inner self, todoroki finally resolved to apologize to you.
“my past doesn’t matter. my actions… were uncalled for. you don’t have to forgive me. i was–“
“todoroki, it’s okay. thank you for telling me. i’m glad, actually. i was worried about you. though, i would like it if we could be friends again,” you smiled that ridiculously gentle smile, making his heartbeat speed up. why was he nervous? you didn’t make him nervous.
in fact, you had always made him feel strong. safe. he used to feel like he could do anything when you two were together.
not nervous.
the two of you started growing close again soon after. while you were good friends with midoriya, iida, and uraraka as well, they noticed that you and todoroki were different.
they noticed how he’d keep his eyes on you, no matter who was talking. todoroki didn’t stare longingly at them like that. whenever you needed something like a pencil or an eraser, todoroki had already slid one onto your desk before you could even turn around. todoroki didn’t care for them like that.
they noticed how frantic he was when he couldn’t find you during the training camp incident. how he only calmed when they found you, when you assured him that you would be alright.
but most importantly, todoroki smiled at you. he couldn’t help himself. he didn’t realized how much he missed your presence. now, you were even better than before. you weren’t just brave, you stayed true to your word and became strong. he learned this all too quickly when you promptly caught him off guard and kicked his ass during training. he wasnt just impressed, he was proud of you. not only that, but you were kind. you stayed as warm as you were back then, especially towards todoroki himself. not that he’d notice.
not when he was busy smiling like an idiot.
midoriya, ever observant, was positive that todoroki didn’t realize he was doing it. he’d stop smiling as soon as his attention was off of you. sure, he smiled every once in a blue moon, but never directly at someone. especially not like that.
ya know, the longing stare, the soft smile that was reserved for you and you only. yeah, his friends knew he was in deep. when they’d confronted him about it, he was just confused.
“i’m not sure i understand. i behave that way with the rest of you, don’t i?” he inquired. uraraka sighed. “no, todoroki, you don’t. you don’t get all goo goo eyed for the rest of us.”
“goo goo eyed? what does that even mean?”
“it’s when you get all ‘uwahh’ for someone when you see them! it’s like–“
“uraraka, let me try to explain!” midoriya interrupted, worried that she’d confused him even more. he sighed before he began. “todoroki, what do you think of (y/n)?” he said slowly.
“i think they’re nice. they’re skillful in battle, and their grades are good, as well. they’d make a great hero. they’re always thinking of others, and putting someone else first. though, i wish they’d take care of themselves as well. it’s easy to tell when they’re not feeling well, but they wont admit it. th–“
“okay, stop,” midoriya interrupted, unable to bear his friends lovesickness. “now what do you think of iida?” “iida’s a reliable comrade. you are as well.” the group waited for him to go on, but that was it. midoriya almost facepalmed while iida sighed. todoroki just outed himself and still didn’t realize?
he frowned at his friends’ reactions. “did i say something wrong?” todoroki asked. uraraka smiled at him. “no, you actually said everything right.” this only confused the boy further. iida cleared his throat, looking todoroki in the eye. “todoroki, you’ve known (y/n) for a long time, right?”
“you could say that, yes.” “have you ever thought about... kissing them?” todoroki literally choked on air. kissing? you? no, he hadn’t, not even when you were kids. just like now, you two were thinking about becoming heroes back then. now that you two were even closer to accomplishing your dreams, that was the furthest thing from his mind. well, until now.
“what about hugging them?” iida pressed further. now that he was being questioned directly, todoroki finally thought about it. thought about you smiling at him, wrapping your arms around him. he thought about your laughter being reserved for him only. he thought about how your hands would fit in his.
todoroki thought about everything.
he found himself smiling, cheeks hot. but... he wasn’t using his quirk? this was quite the odd feeling to him, but the warm thoughts of you weren’t unwelcome. he bit his lip to keep the smile from growing even wider.  “todoroki?” uraraka said, bringing his attention back to his friends. he cleared his throat and looked away, embarrassed. he felt… exposed. they were all smiling at him, like they knew something he didn’t. it was midoriya that spoke the words that todoroki was absolutely not ready to hear.
“todoroki, you like them. as more than a friend. and we think you should give it a shot when you’re ready.”
*:..。∞♡∞。..:*
he definitely wasn’t able to sleep that night. actually, for a few nights. at first it was due to his constant thoughts of you, but then his sleep schedule started to worsen because of school, stress, the usual. it was particularly bad one night, so he decided to wander in his room. later, todoroki found himself walking into the kitchen, only to find you.
of course it was you.
you didn’t notice him at first, with how quiet he was. you were still in your bed clothes, getting a glass of water. when you finished you finally turned to see him, eyes widening in surprise. “sho– todoroki?”
“oh… hello.”
“as quiet as ever, huh?” you leaned against the counter to sip your water. “couldn’t sleep?”
todoroki nodded wordlessly. moving to stand beside you, both of you staring ahead at nothing in particular. he was a bit uneasy after what his friends had made him realize. he’d thought of a million different scenarios since then. “you know, i’ve missed you,” you started. he jerked his head up to look at you, quicker than he’d intended.
you smiled, closing your eyes to think for a bit. “i was really sad for a long time when you and auntie rei stopped coming to see us. my mom and i, that is.” todoroki kept his eyes on you, taking in your profile as you spoke.
“i never forgot what we said, though. that we were gonna be strong and become heroes? i’m glad. i never would’ve seen you again if i had given up,” you said with a smile.
“i know we’re gonna be busy and everything as pro heroes. helping people, ya know? of course you do. i just… don’t want you to disappear again. i really wish i could’ve been there with you. i hate the thought of you suffering alone. being alone. at least, when we’re older, call every now and then, okay?”
todorokis chest started to ache. you’d told him that you were glad to see him again before. but saying you missed him? did you have any idea how much weight that held over his heart?
“i know we were just kids, but you were always important to me. i...” you trailed off. finally, you looked up at him with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “i kinda had a crush on you back then. funny, right?”
no. not funny. not at all. “i thought that maybe we could get married and be a perfect duo. both of us the number one heroes,” you said with a laugh, putting your cup down. todoroki still had his eyes on you, not believing his ears. his face was growing hotter. and hotter.
“i was even going to propose–“
his left side burst into flames.
you jumped backed, arms held in front of you, “todoroki?!” was he upset by what you said? did you set him off by talking about his childhood again?
once he realized what was happening the flames were immediately gone. todoroki looked at your protective stance, guilt punching him in the stomach. now, of all times? he could have hurt you. he never would’ve forgiven himself.
“(y/n), i’m so sorry, i do–“ he was breathing fast, too fast. “todoroki, slow down. dont apologize. im the one who should be apologizing. it was something i said, right?” you asked, cautiously coming closer. todoroki looked into your eyes. he searched for any sign of fear, disgust, but god damn it, it wasn’t there. only genuine concern they were still the kind eyes you always had. why, why were you so damn nice?
“it is what you said. what if…” his mouth was moving faster than his mind.
“you had a crush on me back then, but… what…” he looked at his feet, searching for the words, before looking back at you. you came even closer, looking at him. you silently asked him to continue. “what if i... have a crush on you now?”
your eyes grew wide, but you stayed silent. todoroki didn’t know what to do but spew more of his jumbled thoughts.
“hugging you... k-kissing you?” he hated how weak he sounded, repeating his friend’s words from before. “i want to. i want to do it, but...” slowly you reached up to stroke his hair, pushing it away from his eyes. you remembered how he liked the touch. you waited for him to tell you to stop or flinch away, but all he did was grab your arms and hold them gently. he brought them down, still holding them, as if you’d disappear if he let go. his grip shifted to your hands, as did his gaze.
“im so... damaged. i dont wanna force you to deal with me. the way i am... i don’t think i’m good enough for you. you’ve always been amazing. you’re so perfect. but i want to do these things with you. i want to be as close to you as possible, i just don’t know how, i–”
“hey, shou.”
he paused. shou. that’s right, you hadn’t called him that in years. yet, he felt his body relax and his nerves dissipate. “it’s okay. you were hurt. you’re still hurting. if i didn’t want anything to do with you, i wouldn’t be here, now would i?” you said quietly, trying your best to calm him. he shut his eyes, relaxing into your touch. his shaky breathing slowed.
“im far from perfect, ya know. i’m the one not sure if i’ll be good enough for you. but if you’ll have me, i’d be glad.”
you? not good enough for him? never. never in a million years. he couldn’t believe it took him so long to realize that he’d been craving you. he’d tried so hard to be content by himself. then, midoriya came along with the rest of his friends, picking him up bit by bit. yet, he was still missing something. you, you were his final piece.
yeah.
it was always you.
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unmanageable-day · 4 years ago
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Come to me
PART 1 - next
Summary. After what happened in a relationship in the past, you found it difficult to trust someone with the gentleman image. 'Gentleman' seems like merely a concept and it was probably impossible for someone to be a genuine one. Now that you're stuck with the number one gentleman at campus for a group project, how would you cope with the one and only Joshua Hong?
Genre. College!au, non-idol!au / friends to lover
Pairing. Joshua x y/n x a little bit of S.Coups, and a sprinkle of Wonwoo
a/n: my brain cannot make plots with ‘y/n x ???’ like those awesome smau writers. anyway this is the first svt series i write! as i’m practicing smau, there will be some parts with texts and social media too! i’ve gotten into svt not long ago and yeah picking a bias in svt is like you pick one and you get 12 for free. if you have time to let me know what you think of this, i’d appreciate it somuch! i can’t update regularly so i don’t think im gonna make taglist like other writers. but if you’d like to be tagged, don’t hesitate to say so! stay safe and stay healthy everyone!! xoxo
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"I guess it's just Jisoo now," Johnny informed you for a group project.
It was surely not the first time you encountered people with the same name. Since your school days, there would be at least two Lee Jieuns, three Kim Jonghyuns, and many Minhos or Jaehyuns with various surnames. You just had to ask which one of them if any of your friends mentioned their names without the surname. This, of course, happened until college. One day when you were assigned for a group project, Johnny Suh, the oldest member in your group, asked you to find someone named Jisoo so all of you could gather and start working on the project. Unusually, you didn't ask which Jisoo it was. You were quite certain that you had met two Jisoos since the first day of college. So you thought it would be a piece of cake to find one of them.
"Hey, I've met Kim Jisoo and she said she had taken this class. I spoke to other Jisoo, that guy who goes anywhere with Jieun. He also didn't take this class." You looked at your groupmates, confused.
"I asked Choi Jisoo too. She does take this subject but not the one with Professor Choi," added Suhyun.
You tilted your head, slightly curling your eyebrows. "Is there another Jisoo?" you mumbled with your lips pouted.
"That would be me."
You and the other friends look up at the deep voice that came out of nowhere. The puzzled look was not only appeared on your face, but also on all your groupmates.
"Joshua?" you said his name in confusion, exchanging looks with Johnny and Suhyun.
"Wait a minute." Johnny rushed to dig his bag, searching for a piece of paper that he got from the professor's assistant regarding the group members. Now that he remembered he might not have told you which Jisoo that should be on your group. "Hong Jisoo? Hong Jisoo is Joshua Hong?"
"That's correct," he answered with his unfazed face.
Joshua Hong was a transferred student who came in the second year. You were 200% sure that on his first day, he introduced himself with the name Joshua. That was the one and only information you knew about him. How were you supposed to know that he officially enrolled with his Korean name? Even all the lecturers call him Joshua too. Even Johnny, the social butterfly who knows everyone, who was also a transferred student from the States didn't talk much to him. But again, you never really noticed who your classmates were. The class was always too big, which was the excuse you'd always use.
"Anyway," Suhyun broke the silence. Finally. You were too dumbfounded that you just froze still, trying to process and make sure that Johnny didn't mistake the group members. "Let's just get started because we still have a lot to do, shall we?"
You let Suhyun and Johnny divide the workload for the four of you. And somehow Johnny decided to make pairs so you can work in 2 subgroups. Being a wise man as he claimed to be, he wouldn't let you pick Suhyun to pair with you, saying that every process had to be fair and square. You gave him a judging look, since you knew he also wanted to be with Suhyun because it can be said that she was one of the brightest in class.
"Let's draw," Johnny initiated. He got a pouch—your pouch which he took with force—that was filled with markers and continued, "There are 2 pink and 2 black markers. So, good luck with your hands."
The four of you took turns to pick the marker, starting from the boys. Johnny, who got a pink marker, grinned wide at you, slightly giving a victory vibe, just when Joshua picked a black one. You glared at him. When the chance was 50:50 between Johnny and Joshua, you couldn't even think of anything. First of all, you were not familiar at all with this Hong Jisoo. You had no idea what his pace was like. And you might not be able to order him around. Second, when it came to Johnny, obviously you were much closer with him. You were friends after all. But you knew his pace. You can give him orders and commands but it didn't mean that he would do it. So there were possibilities that you might have to do all the big work unless you were willing to have adrenaline rush, since Johnny was that deadliner type.
"Let's take it at the same time," Suhyun suggested, in which you agreed immediately. You gritted your teeth, hoping it would help you to not lose the poker face you were wearing. Then the markers of fate were revealed. Johnny almost jumped out of joy when the pink marker was in Suhyun's hand. He immediately gave Suhyun a high-five. Meanwhile you quietly turned to Joshua who had been silence since he joined the discussion. You tried to read his expression, but you looked away when his eyes searched yours.
"Anyway, let's get along and get this work done with good marks," Joshua initiated speaking.
You almost startled yourself after hearing clearly how soft Joshua's voice was. Like, it had somewhat a soothing effect to your ears. "Yeah, sure." You flashed him your best smile.
"Do you mind if I leave, like, now? Because I have to run some errands," he asked, still with that gentle, calming voice. The way he spoke and his aura certainly hit differently; it made him the weird one within your group which consisted of loud people. Sometimes you thought yourself to be a calm person too. But now looking at Joshua Hong, you started thinking that you might not be as calm as you thought.
"Yeah, no problem. We've got everything covered. Johnny will manage everything, including the online worksheet so you can just look up everything there. I'll let you know when it's ready."
"Okay, cool. I think Johnny has my number. So you can ask him."
You nodded, pretending to look just a little bit excited. After Joshua left, the fake smile on your lips disappeared and you let out a heavy sigh. Your face landed on your thick textbook. A small groan slipped off your mouth, showing your frustration which Johnny and Suhyun can't really find the reason why. They just didn't see why being grouped with someone like Joshua who had nothing but positive track record in public could be troublesome.
Johnny nudged you on the shoulder. "Hey, don't be like that. You don't even know him."
"I'll tell you a fun fact about him if that makes you feel any better." Suhyun unusually used her cheerful tone. You just knew it must be something unnecessary or something that you didn't want to know about. "Lately he becomes the it guy because he was spotted helping some freshmen, and suddenly he earned title of being a gentleman. Some of my friends also said that he always behaves with such a manner in parties. He doesn't get drunk and does stupid things, because he drinks in moderation."
Raising your head, your brows furrowed with your eyes squinting. "And why do I want to know about this?"
"She's saying that he's a catch. Who knows you're gonna get laid." Johnny clicked his tongue and winked at you.
Your eyes rolled as you sighed. "Not gonna happen. His first impression of me was not really good. I mistook him for an exchange student I was supposed to guide, so I dragged him here and there, causing him to be late on his first class—the evil Professor Lee's class! The next day I tripped over my own feet and basically threw my coffee at him." You groaned as you recalled the memory of meeting Joshua Hong for the first time. He was still as calm and quiet as now. But you can't really forget his expression when Professor Lee scolded him, and when he silently tried to wipe off the coffee stain on his white sweater. "Seriously, if you were him, you must hate me too. Even I hate me sometimes."
"Yeah, but you didn't do it on purpose?"
"Whatever." You stood up as you put back your stuff in your bag, getting ready to leave. "I'm not sure why but I feel guilty for mistaking him for another Jisoo. It's already awkward between me and him. Unless you want to switch partner—yes, I'm talking to you, John."
"It will only worsen the awkwardness between you if I say yes to switch."
Ugh, this giant has a point. But it was not like you wanted to make up to Joshua Hong. Or eventually, you had to? At least for the sake of this group project?
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undinoble · 4 years ago
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Crazy long text ahead i warn you, just explaining some process I went through while drawing this Frank and Julie low light dying thingie, probably gonna drop some wips along the way, you may want to see… idk, dealer’s choice
!TRIGGER WARNING! Violence, death, suicide. Proceed with caution.
Well where do we begin? The inspiration maybe?
Exploring the magical world of Spotify when a band came in, one of the first songs (if not the first one) of theirs I heard was Partners in Crime by Set It Off, you know, love at first sight, love for their voices, their music style, aaand the lyrics, OH BOI the lyrics, check it out:
“You’ll never takes us alive We swore that death will do us part They’ll call our crimes a work of art You’ll never takes us alive We’ll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners”
Dunno, for two passionate juvenil delinquents that just wants trouble this line really fits to me, the dreamy couple feels invencible.
“Everybody freeze Nobody move Put the money in the bag Or we will shoot Empty out the vault And me and my doll will be on our way”
It’s actually interesting to think of the Legion robbing a bank, it’s not like troublesome teens didn’t do that in movies c’mon, it’s a small city, they wear masks, ez!
“Our paper faces flood the streets And if the heat comes close enough to burn Then we’ll play with fire ‘cause
You’ll never takes us alive”
THIS. This is so a Legion thing to say. Can you imagine their masks all around the streets as a warning like “HEY, WE ARE HERE, FEAR US” I love this
“Here we find our omnipotent outlaws Fall behind the grind tonight Left unaware that the lone store owner Won’t go down without a fight Where we gonna go He’s got us pinned Baby I’m a little scared Now, don’t you quit He’s sounded the alarm I hear the sirens closing in”
The second big moment, the adrenaline along with the instrumental is crazy for real
“The skies are black with lead-filled rain A morbid painting on display This is the night the young love died Buried at each others side”
THIS. (again) is the main theme of the drawing, it’s where the inspiration flood over me, the scene was clear in my mind, c’mon if you read till here there’s absolutely no reason not to listen to the song you won’t regret im not even getting payed to show it off
ACTUALLY FORGET IT- i just won a sub on Cody Carson’s stream WHAT IS LIFE??????? Thanks Max!!!
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I totally didn’t draw this while listening to the music when i should be working what are you talking about??
Hold the sketch, focus on the gun. It’s dope aint it?
Anyways, here goes the lore, along with the music lyrics I filled up the gaps, well, Suz and Joey are not around, maybe doing school stuff Julie didn’t feel like doing so she decides to hang out with Frank in the meanwhile, they’re on the lodge, bored, upset about the world cause it’s what teens do in their free time, listening to one of their mixtapes, probably Frank’s, the more hardcore one when the idea hit: what if they try some good mischief? “There’s a small banks a mile from here, want some adrenaline babe?” And oh of course she does, grab your mask, here we go
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Sorry, not a big legs-drawing fan…
They grab their knives, put on the masks, get ready, drive to the bank. I didnt really think this part through, the song says it all. Long story short - they rob the bank, the police arrives, the action begins.
They brought their knives, didn’t expect the cops to show up with guns, damn they didnt even know little Ormond cops had actual guns. After long minutes of hiding on the bank safe the couple decides to fight their way out, they would be more useful alive than dead so laws could apply, but that went out of question once Frank stabbed the first bank employee on his triumphal way out, the police don’t think twice before shooting to protect the citizens inside.
Frank and Julie have too little time to react, the stress and anxiety kicks in, they go feral, crazy cinematic bullet avoids, for a moment it’s possible to get away. It all happened too quick, but in Julie’s vision it went slow motion. She just saw a cop leaning behind a car, aiming directly at Frank, even her fastest reaction wasn’t fast enough to stop the trigger from popping. With tears in her eyes she watches as the bullet hits her boyfriend right in the chest. 
She snaps. One target in mind, she sprints to the cop and stabs him over and over until she’s sure he won’t see the sun set ever again. She takes his gun and rushes towards Frank who is kneeling against a taxi holding his torax, she screams that they must go to the hospital immediately but he refuses, hospital would be just a quick stop on his way to jail. No fucking way. 
He demands to go back to the lodge, the cops are too busy helping their wounded partner to look for them, they think Frank may be dropped dead somewhere on the street after multiple shots, the two of them must flee before the cops realize the mistake and go hunting for them. NOW.
Julie side-carries Frank back to their car, the lack of a license of her own won’t stop her from driving as fast as the car can. Breathing heavily while constantly telling Frank to hold on, they will find a way out, they must do. Oh what a fucking stupid idea holy SHIT. 
The travel takes half the time it usually does and still feels like hours. The car gets all red with Frank’s blood that keeps leaking. Once they arrive, Frank wants to go upstair, Julie shouts at him to keep next the central campfire once he should grab some heat (and for god’s sake why is he still carrying the money bag they stole????), anyway he gets the last word and they climb the stairs up and lay on the bed, Frank hisses from the pain but also sighs in relief for the soft spot under him, ignoring Julie cursing besides him, saying she can still call an ambulance, she doesnt want to lose him, Suz and Joey will be devastated, although he just replies with the phrase they were saying sooner that day “They’ll never take us alive”.
After 20 minutes of agony, low whispers of memories of how they met, what they had been through together and a huge amount of blood moisturing the covers, Frank says he’s feeling light-headed, Julie looks at him and he’s paper white, the blood loss is finally getting to him, she wants to cry, scream, curse and stab that damn cop a hundred times again, but all she does is cuddle her head harder against his shoulder and tell him she loves him, that she will keep his legacy alive, with Joey and Susie, she will revenge him. He chuckles and slowly feels the life being drained from his weaked body until everything goes black.
Julie need a few seconds to process. Frank died. For real. He was good a few hours ago, he was right. They would never take them alive. Death could do them apart, but, he never said for how long they would be apart.
She reaches for the gun on the hand under Frank’s body. THAT DAMN GUN. She aims it to the side of her head, never leaving Frank’s side on the bed. Triggers it.
“Partners in crime”
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Damn did I just write a fucking fanfiction? This shit is way longer than I expected, did anybody even get down here?
Well, this is the part of the drawing where i left cause I just couldn’t afford to work on it, have in mind everytime the file were opened the whole lore came in my head, and fuck did i feel dizzy writing it all down. Hell the bloody details get me, seeing Frank so white with a blue undertone simulating the lifeless body gave me headaches fr. My escape was drawing other things until the courage to finish it came back. It was easier because the story kinda faded away from my mind, the drawing became “lighter” to deal with.
Well, guess that’s it. I hardly have this big insight while drawing, to visualize the finished piece on my brain and it’s just so fucking cool, making art with so many mixed feelings along, and overall pride, cause i feel so proud with the result you have no idea. It isn’t perfect tho, but i like it anyway. So, thank you so much if you made it all the way here. gonna sleep now for fucks sake im gonna pass out bye
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randomsevans · 4 years ago
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a long , long time
Weekly challenge
@donutloverxo
@captain-rogers-beard 
hasn't been read through so please ignore  the mistakes please 
this is sorta a continued  of  ROSE  , but can be read by its self 
How ? 
How can you do this ? How are you going to keep going ? Why did he do this ? Why leave you ? Why leave his daughter ? why her , why is it always her ? 
you dont know how your going to do this ,you dont know how your gonna cop being a single parent , you dont know how you are going to do it alone ,. More importantly how are you going to get over him ?
How are you ever going to get over Steve Rogers ?
one thing is for sure , you have to for the sake of your daughter . Even though you will never love another , because Steve no matter what will always be your first and only love and that why it hurts so much .But you need to at  least be strong for your daughter , she just lost her father.
Time , time is all you need .
===================================
it was a random Sunday , at a random park where Steve sat , He knows that he has just when back to ever one , but he hasn't showed his face yet.  He looked around the park as the tree rustle against the wind as the odd person or two passes by . At this moment he feels peace .He had lived a beautiful life , with the women he truly loves and he wouldn't change .A life with Peggy , a life in his time was everything Steve wanted and got . 
But for him the last 8 years or so haven't been easy , with old age playing effect on him ,the snap  and the death of his love he was mostly been by himself . leaving him more time to think about them , her , you , his daughter . wonder what it would be like if he stay , how you are , did you meet some one else ? the thought sickens steve your his wife ... wait was his wife and what about his daughter he doesn't want another man raiser her .But what thats what it like now he made his choice and no matter what life he picked , it would always be filled with what ifs / and questions , theory on how he life would of went .
He buried the memory of you and his daughter for so long , Peggy never knew he had a  daughter or a wife . His other children never know that there have a sister who is the same age as their grandchildren . He never thought about you , not untill it came to the years where he knew some place in the world right now , you and his younger self where together , meeting , working , dating , married , a child all together . And now your by your self .
on the days like when he asked you to marry him , got married  he thought about you all day , was so so temper to go and see you and him self , but it was to risky . he remember everything , every detail to your hair , dress , your shocked face when he got on his knee . the small tear that rolled down your cheek where saying your “i dos “ . He would sit there on those days buying a single rose and drawing you. 
even on the day you were born you never left his mind , he find it quiet funny and sad on that day , thinking this is the day his wife was born , but also all the pain that was to come your way , that he couldnt do anyhing about
But htere were days like the 7th of January 2020 were he couldn't just sit there by himself with his thoughts . He made his way to a random hospital in Brooklyn . He sat outside on a bench for hours , people would pass by ask if was okay an odd nurse or too  would come up and ask if he was a patience . unknowingly to them his daughter , his eldest , yet youngest chronologically was being born . He sat there for hours thinking and remembering , the first time he holded her , her first steps , the annoyed look  on your face when her first word was “pa “ , he remember how happy he was , he swears he never smiled so wide so happy , spinning his daughter around promising her the world because she said dad first . He chucked at the memory . He left sortly after not getting a glance at you or his daughter since he could risk seeing his self .
that was roughly three years ago and on that day every year he would celebrate in one why . he would also send her a gift which he knows he should but he couldn't stop him self  .
Now he sits here on this bench, knowing soon he will have to see everyone well at least Bruce and Bucky to tell them not his okay an nothing went wrong . He was so lost in his thoughts he didnt notice the little girl run passed and trip over a rock right in frount of him
the girl had pushed her hands ifrount of her to try and save her self and let out a little cry . Steve got up the fastest her could , he reach of her hand and helped her up , while looking around to see if there was anyone running after her , not yet anyway .
the little girl was now up on her feet , with small sniffles . Her hair was long and blonde covering her face in all different direction . Her little hands trying to push her hair out of her face . Steve kneeled down to help her . 
“ are you ok....”
he stop , his old heart began to beat face , his eyes wide 
“ Sarah ?”
the sight of his daughter broke him , he didnt realise how much he  missed her , his first child , the one he promise to always be around .
“ hmm “ was the onlt thing that came out of her . she glanced up to meet steves eyes . Blue meet blue , the same blue
Hers widen , in shook  , she looked like she was about to cry .
“ h ... how do yo. you know ..my ..n..name “ she coked on every word , taking her time .
Steve was silent  he didn't know what to say , the fact that his daughter that he left behind was right infrount of him. 
her mouth only widen as she brought her tiny hand up towards steve face and pointed at his teary eyes .
“ y.. you ... you stole my daddy's eyes “ her little face scrunched up angerly  
he slighlt chuckled shaking his head “ n..no i didnt blue “
her hand quickly wet to her side at the name 
“wh... onli  daddy cowlds me t..hat “
“ i..  i know “ his tears now fully streaming downs his eyes .
“how?” she asked quickly 
“be..because ..” he truly didnt know what to say
“ your my daddy ?” 
he forget how smart she was , she may only be three but even Tony said shell grew up to be a genius and has the smartest around about an 8 year old the least time there checked 
he nodded his head in relief , the little girl only seem to grow anger as she place her hand on his cheek .
“liar .. my daddy is young .... my daddy will hurt you .... my daddy is c.cap .. amwerica  he .. does good ..and doesn't liek liars “ but then she paused for a moment her eyes grew red and her lip trembled “b...but his a li..liar ... he l...my daddy ..left me “ 
and with that she fell to the ground with aloud sob , and Steve went with her , both crying on the floor
“ h..”
“mm im sorry blue ...but i am your .. daddy ?” he knows he shouldn't but he couldn't help it his little girl right there crying over him , his heart is breaking and dying 
“how could i ever leave her ? “but he did 
“ho.. how ?” you looked up 
he stay silent how do you tell you daughter you left her and her mother to grow old with some one else.
“ how do i know your .. not lying ?”he glared at him . the same expression she shares with you , he let out a small chuckled , his daughter asking all the right question , she she so much like you . 
“ i call .. you blue be..because  we both .. have blue eyes “ a small smile placed on his lips , at the memory of finding the perfect  nickname of his daughter   . 
she just nodded in agreement staring him down . he smile shiftig on his bony knees . 
“ yo.. your first word was pa ... your birthday is 7th of January , you cant go to sleep with out  piggy .. yo..you favoit food is cookie .. double double chocolate chips that antie nat makes .... you love that silly little show that .. “ 
“the song “ she cut him off 
“what ?” he titled his head 
“ if you are really my daddy .. you know the song “ her eyes soften almost coming to terms that he is her father 
he paused for a mintes , cold tears falling from his eyes , every memory , everytime he song her to sleep with the song , the song that was your and his first dance together as husband and wife   
“it ... its” he could trust his own words , his voice he was so emotional he was sure hes old fragil body would give  away .
“ its .. its been a . long .. long time “ he closer his eyes in  a temper to clear his vision as he sung the melody 
“never thought that you would be standing here so close to me ,
theres so much i feel that i should say 
but words can wait untill some other day 
kiss me once the kiss me twist 
then kiss me one again 
its been a long long time 
haven't felt like this my dear 
since cant remember when 
you'll never know how many dreams 
iv dreamed about you 
or just how empty there seem with out you 
so kiss me once then kiss me twist 
then kiss me once again “ 
he paushed on ever word , every line , a thousand memory and emotions , him meaning every word as he looked into the yes of his daughter , that he had missed so much , the same blue eys he shared . The ones that have grown to accept that he is her father , her papa , her daddy .
with both teary eyes ,cold stinging cheeks against the hash wind on he ground of a random park , on a random Sunday , there finish the song together meaning very word , as father and daughter 
“its been a long , long time “
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nouru-vi · 4 years ago
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Headcanons for my AFK Arena gang buckle the f up
Disclaimer: I take canon lore/relationships and throw out what I don’t like thank you have a nice day
Starter pack: Estrilda, Mirael and Nemora
Nemora is sent by the Wilders to help out Ranhorn City and these three stick together going forward
Estrilda and Mirael are in idiot lesbians with each other. They constantly try to impress the other and Nemora is in the bg facepalming but she also ships them hard secretly
The gang is sent to hunt down Lucretia who is rampaging indiscriminately through the countryside and they manage to subdue and capture her. As they’re bringing her back to Ranhorn, Nemora keeps drawing info out of her through treating her kindly, and learns her story. Then they’re attacked by a large group of Maulers or sg, and Lucy demands that they unchain her if they want to live (lbr she has to be chained and not tied), adding that she also refuses to die tied up. Nemora chooses to trust her and she helps them make it out alive. Then they’re like “okay this Zaphrael dude sounds like a complete dick and we’ll help you confront him when we find him and also you can stay with us, we won’t bring you to Ranhorn to be imprisoned/executed. No more rampaging tho” and that’s how Lucy becomes the local goth mom
Silvina is sent to assassinate Estrilda, to finish off the job of destroying the Raynes, but when she sees her, memories come back to her from before her death, when she saw the young Estrilda as the girl she never got to be. She is like “fuck this I’m not doing this” and realises it’s time to stand up to Vedan’s exploitation of her and Isabella, if not for her own sake but her sister’s. She confronts Estrilda and pleads her to help remove Isabella from Vedan’s clutches. Her and the team go to do that and Isabella doesn’t really understand at first but when Vedan hurts Silvina she’s like “Back off. I made you what you are, don’t think I can’t unmake you just the same.” Now outclassed, Vedan is forced to let them go, and the sisters join the gang. Lucretia is immediately like “I’m your mom now”
Bonus: months later Vedan shows up to be like “Please forgive me. I never knew what I had until I lost it, I treated you two like crap even though you were the closest thing to family I had! Pls come back to me T_T” and although they don’t do that they agree to let him visit sometimes, so he becomes their weird weekend dad. Lucy watches him like a hawk every single time but he tries his best (I added this HC as an afterthought because the official comics with Vedan and the girls are just too fucking funny to be non-canon)
Wu Kong helps out the team on and off and Lucy hates him because he’s a FILTHY CELESTIAL while he’s just like, lady im am just leetl monky. I’m new to being a Celestial actually and don’t even know this Zaphirel or whatshisface. I’m just here to punch bad guys and have a good time. But he also annoys her for fun because he’s just like that
Lyca joins the team as a somewhat more competent co-leader to Mirael. To Nemora’s relief, because she’s the only other person so far who is not a mess or dumb or both. Silvina develops a mega gay crush on her because she’s the bouncy nerd prep to her emo jock goth. It probably takes a very long time for this to come to the surface because she is a Disgusting Graveborn and Lyca is a Beautiful and Ethereal Wilder, according to Silvina, that is. Her concerns turn out to be baseless, of course, and then they’re cute and gay, The End
Solise joins to swell the ranks of people who are both dumb and a mess. She’s powerful though and a great alchemist, and adorable and everyone else is sapphic so go figure
Flora also shows up often to help the group and Lucy is like HISS GRRR CELESTIAL HRRR GRRR at her too, while she’s just like, lady. It’s gonna be alright. You will find justice one day. Calm down. Here’s a flower bigger than your head. Have a nice day :) ~flies off on her gay little flower broom into the sunset gayly~
Certain groups catch wind of Lucretia travelling with the group and as a result, Cecilia is sent after them. Since Lucy is family by this point, they’re forced to fight and subdue Cecilia. She gets injured and they’re unwilling to leave her to her fate, so they bring her along as she recovers. For a long time, she keeps going on about heretics cavorting with Hypogean filth and whatnot, but what’s this? Lucy is around, and although Cecilia can’t see her, her voice is inexplicably pleasant to hear, and she’s just so nice to those two girls! But surely that is the insidious deception of a treacherous Hypogean, seeking to corrupt every innocent soul, right? Surely she is not a loving mother, nor a valiant woman who will do anything for the sake of justice? Right??? (yeah spoiler they end up in gays and the sisters now have two mothers and a dad. They deserve all the parents)
One day the gang stumbles upon Torne and they collectively adopt them immediately. They’re big and smad and in need of hugs and therapy so the group is happy to provide.
Nara joins from time to time, apparently because she just enjoys carnage, regardless of the target. She’s a gross and unhinged gremlin who’s somehow still hot, and her idea of humour is “bet I can kick a dead baby further than any of you”, but she’s pretty upbeat and more or less tolerated by the others. Things become awkward when the group finds out she used to be a crime boss and would-be slaver in life. She says something like “well, am I not allowed to make a new start?”, but she does have the decency to look embarrassed at least. Someone says “maybe she just wanted friends for once” and Nara throws them the most maybe so look of the century
There are some other heroes that I have yet to figure out how to work into the group dynamics and story, like Grezhul for example, as he’s one of my most used heroes now, or Oden, who has also become one of my faves. I do know Oden absolutely makes dad jokes, for a start.
That’s it so far, notice how all of these are wholesome and mostly gay? Yea that is how I roll. The AFK heroes have suffered enough in canon, only positive vibes around here and also I’m queer as shit bye
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be-the-spark-flyboy · 4 years ago
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Could Use Some Love
Call It What You Want (2/?)
Series masterlist
Pairing: Med student!Poe x Reader (college AU)
A/N: This got wayyyy out of hand, and i apologize for nothing. Also this took so long cos i came up with a plot, hated it, then changed the whole plot, hated it again and now i have no plot and im just gonna see where this takes me :( what is canon I don’t her
Chapter summary: Due a broken heater situation, you end up crashing at Rey, Finn and Poe’s residence.
Word count: ~2.7k
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You’ve been having an absolutely horrible week. And it is Wednesday. Work had been piling up in your internship firm, as well as in college. You’d barely slept for a total of 3 hours in the last two days and needless to say, you were totally exhausted. You had barely gotten back from work when your supervisor had called you to dump more work on you. 
Great, another sleepless night.
Your tiny apartment was eerily quiet without your roommate Jessika. She told you she was staying over at her boyfriend's place for the night. It wasn’t the first time it had happened but, you hated staying alone in your apartment, especially at night.
The snow falling outside and the temperature rapidly falling in your own house did nothing to improve your mood. You pulled you knitted blanket tighter around yourself as another shiver racked through your body from the cold. Was the heater even working? It had been giving you problems for some time now, you were pretty sure it was already working way past its expectancy. You made a mental note to talk to your landlord about it, turning your attention back to your work.
Minutes pass and it only gets colder. Now it got to the point you couldn’t put your feet on the ground without recoiling. It wasn’t a good sign at all. You reach for your fuzzy slippers and pad across the room, still in your blanket, to the thermostat.
The thermostat display was working fine, but it seemed the heater wasn’t. After several minutes of walking back and forth to the heater and thermostat and several google searches later, you come to the conclusion that your heater was broken. And there was nothing you could do about it at this hour.
Your eyes well up from the frustration, a few tears falling. You try taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself, but the cold air only stings your lungs, reminding you of your predicament, mocking you. You go back to the couch, sitting cross-legged and rocking back and forth as you mind reels.
It was too cold for you to spend the night without a working heater. It was times like this that makes you want to smack yourself for not being able to make more friends. All you have is Jessika, who won’t be able to help you out right now, and Rey, who stayed with Finn and Poe in an apartment just nearby. You could ask Rey if you can crash on her couch for the night, but you felt like you were bothering her.
You had never been over to their place, despite knowing them for months now. Finn and Rey had invited you over a few times before but you always had some excuse to not go. You just weren’t that great with people, even if it was people you knew and care about. 
You honestly didn’t know why Rey tried so hard to stick around you. You never made it very easy for anyone to be your friend. Your naturally aloof nature had made sure of it. Jessika has been the only one who had stuck around since middle school, and when both of you ended up in the same college, you jumped at the chance to room with your best friend.
You rub your eyes, picking up your phone. The time shows 1 am as your finger hovers above the call button on Rey’s contact. Just do it you have no choice, you try to convince yourself as you hit the call button.
---
The doorbell rings you stuff a few extra clothing and your laptop in a bag, just as Rey had instructed. You go to open the door, wrapped up in an overcoat, and hoping you don’t look as much of a mess as you feel. But Finn catches sight of your puffy red-rimmed eyes and immediately pulls you into a hug. The warmth is welcoming after feeling cold for so long, and you gladly fall into the embrace.
Thankfully Rey was still awake when you called. The second she had picked up the phone, the tears started flowing freely as the stress of the whole week hit you at once. She had managed to calm you down until you sounded coherent enough to tell her what your problem was. Both Rey and Finn were both willing to let you take up the guestroom in their apartment for as long as you needed. Rey told you she was picking you up and Finn had insisted he come along since it wasn’t safe for the two of you to be alone in this weather. They had basically shut down any apologies you sent their way, insisting it wasn’t any trouble for them. 
“Rey’s waiting in the car,” Finn informs you. You sling your bag onto your shoulder. “You good to go?”
--- 
The first thing you noticed when you stepped into the ridiculously large living room, was the cityscape. Tiny lights twinkling in buildings as the snow fell, softer than feathers. It looked like a scene from the movies. 
You can’t help the woah that you breathe out at the sight before you. You’re aware of exactly how stupid you look standing there, mouth agape, but you can’t help it. The entire apartment looks gorgeous.
Rey giggles at your expression, dragging you along to the guest bedroom. Which, unsurprisingly, is almost as big as your entire apartment. Settling your things on the table, Rey sits on the bed, gesturing for you to take a seat as well.
“You better now?” She asks flinging an arm around your shoulder. “You can stay here as long as you like, don’t worry I’m not expecting you to pay me or anything.” She jokes. “You know you can ask me if you need anything, right?”
It’s an effort not to start sobbing at her kind words. You lean your head against her shoulder. “You’re too nice to me Rey, not everyone would do this for anyone.”
Rey chuckles, “Firstly, you’re not just anyone, you’re one of us now,” she pulls back, holding your face in her hands. “And secondly, you would do the exact same thing if our positions were reversed.” You just nod, too dumb to say anything.
“Finn and Poe stay upstairs. I haven’t Poe since morning, he locked himself in his room, studying for some test I think,” she engulfs you in a bear hug before getting up. “Just knock on my door if you need anything, I’m right next door. And there are some snacks in the kitchen if you’re hungry. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
---
It is 3 am and Poe, utterly exhausted after an entire day of cramming for his hematology test which was probably still going to kick his ass, finally pulls his headphones off his ears. He thinks he surely looks as tired as he feels. The whole room is a mess of books, notes and granola bar wrappers strewn around, an empty coffee pot and mug on the table. He tells himself he’d clean it up tomorrow, after getting some sleep and food in his system. His stomach growls, reminding him of his hunger again and he collects the coffee pot and the wrappers and sets off to the kitchen to get something to eat before heading to bed.
His phone lays forgotten on his bedside table. He doesn’t feel like picking it up, already anticipating the number of missed texts and calls he would've received from his girlfriend. Studying medicine was hard work and time-consuming. It was easier to just pretend like his phone didn’t exist sometimes rather than try to explain to Sarah why he needed the whole day to study. He’d deal with her wrath later.
Poe sighs heavily treading down the staircase. The living room is dark and empty as expected, but there’s light coming from the kitchen. A small part of him couldn’t help but feel thankful for that. He wasn’t scared of the dark per se, but the recent horror movie had led him to question some of his life decisions. Like whether it was worth being friends with Finn and Rey. He probably would’ve walked out of the theater within less than an hour if you weren’t there, holding his hand. The memory brings a smile to his face.
Imagine his surprise when he sees you. He expected to see Finn or Rey at the kitchen, but there you are sitting at the dining table, a frown on your face as you click away at your laptop.
Was he hallucinating?
—-
You are sitting cross-legged on one of the dining table chairs. Your laptop sat on the table, alongside a few detail plans spread out, as you edit your drawings. The table in the guest room wasn’t big enough to fit the large plan drawings. So you had moved to the dining table since everyone had already gone to sleep. 
You feel like you have stepped into an alternate universe where everything feels new to you. The view of the city through the full height glass window was just so breathtaking, but the large living room only feels emptier and somehow colder than your small apartment, even with a working heater. Regardless, you slowly slip into your own rhythm getting more accustomed to the almost eerie silence.
You startle when Poe calls out your name. “What are you doing here?” You look up and oh god he looks adorable. His hair is tousled and he pushes a few curls back from his face trying to tame it. He’s smiling at you, brown eyes sparkling, and it makes you feel all soft and warm inside and- and he just asked you a question. And you are just staring at him like a creep instead of answering.
“Oh, hey Poe!” You try not to cringe at yourself, hoping he hadn’t noticed you staring. Poe grimaces when you explain your whole heater situation to him.
“Well, I hope you’re comfortable,” he says. “Don’t mind me, I’ll be back in my room soon enough,” he smiles again, moving to walk past you. You hear him rummaging around in the kitchen for a few moments.
You mentally slap yourself, feeling like such an asshole. He has a girlfriend, for god’s sake. No matter how much Finn and Rey seemed to hate his girlfriend, you still feel guilty for thinking of Poe as anything other than a friend. You cuddled him in a movie theater, christ. You resist the urge to slap yourself on your forehead. What were you thinking?
For someone who just said ‘don’t mind me’, he makes it pretty hard to ignore his presence. He is back at the table and takes a seat, curiously frowning at the plan laid out before you. His cereal bowl is on the table before him, carefully placed away from the papers you had spread out. You continue your work, trying not to get too distracted by the man beside you. 
“What are you doing?” Poe asks you. So you explain to him the long-winded process of the schematic drawing before you and how you need to add in the changes marked out to the 3D model in your laptop. You’re pretty sure you are rambling halfway through it, but Poe seemed to be interested enough, occasionally asking you more questions here and there. Explaining your work becomes complaining about it and soon you find yourself exchanging internship horror stories with him.
Halfway through your conversation, you hear a patter of tiny footsteps and the cutest corgi you’ve ever seen emerges from the hall. Poe immediately perks up at its arrival scooping the ecstatic canine into his arms. “Buddy! Why aren’t you sleeping?” The corgi paws at his shirt, barking and licking his face. Poe laughs, scratching its fur, “I missed you too, buddy.” You can’t take your eyes off the scene unfolding before you, heart swelling at the interaction, you’re sure you’re making heart eyes at them.
Once the corgi calms down enough for Poe to comfortably hold it in his arms, he turns his attention back to you. “This is Beebee,” he introduces his corgi to you, “My son,” You laugh and Beebee tilts his head inquisitively, looking up at you with his sparkling brown eyes. Like father like son, you think.
The bowl of cereal lays forgotten on the table as the two of you continue chatting. Well, he does most of the talking as you continued on with your work, your attention mostly focused on Poe regardless. He absentmindedly pets Beebee, who is now dozing off on his lap.
“He’s a big baby, can’t live alone. Honestly, I think anyone would go insane if they lived here alone,” Poe concludes his story of how Finn had practically begged him and Rey to come to live with him. Poe is your senior by two years and had been staying in a dorm before Finn started college.
“Big baby huh? Says the one who can’t watch a demon on a screen without looking like he’s going to cry,” you snicker, bumping his shoulder with yours.
“They’re just really scary okay? I don’t how you can sleep after watching things like that,”. He grimaces, holding Beebee closer. “Great, now I’m thinking about demons,”
“Oh no! Quick, think about something else,”
“About what? Ask me something,”
“Um... okay, how did you meet Finn and Rey?” you ask him.
“Oh that’s a long story,” and so he begins the tale of how both his parents, Shara Bey and Kes, were in the Air Force where they met and fell in love and-
“Wait, are you giving me your entire biography?” You interrupt him.
“No no, it’s relevant, trust me,” he assures you before continuing. Queue the entrance of a new character named Han, who was their best friend and was married to Leia Organa, who would become his godmother-
“Wait, Leia Organa?” You gasp, “Senator Organa is your godmother?”
“Great so you’ve heard of her-” you don’t even let him finish his sentence again.
“Heard of her? I've been a huge fan since the time she crushed the Vader dude during that debate,” he chuckles before continuing.
The story takes a somber turn when he tells you that his mother passed away due to an illness when he was 8 years old. He quickly skims over that part before telling you about going to live with his godmother in an obscenely rich neighborhood, since his father was away too much due to his work. Leia’s son Ben, apparently, was the resident asshole of the place, who hated Poe for reasons unknown to him. So Poe had resorted to making friends with the two younger children living across the house instead.
It’s an endearing story, which could’ve been told with lesser detail, in half the time. But you would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy listening to him talk.
It’s a miracle that you are almost done with your work. Its almost 4.30 am and it occurs to you that you’ve been keeping Poe for quite some time. You see him trying to stifle a yawn in between words as he tries to narrate the story of how Finn had broken his arm trying to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night. 
“Poe, don’t you have classes in the morning? Don’t you need to sleep?”
Poe feigns offense, “Am I boring you?”
“No,” you laughed. “I stay up all alone sometimes, and it gets very lonely, so thank you for keeping me company.” You answer sincerely. You are pretty sure Poe is beaming, but that could also be the side effect of not getting much sleep for days. Well at least you can sleep in tomorrow, and the guestroom bed looked really inviting. “But, you also really need to sleep,” 
“Well my classes only start after lunch tomorrow- I mean today, so I still have time to sleep,” he stifles another yawn with the back of his hand. “Actually, you’re right, I need to sleep,”
BB8 is asleep, snoring lightly on his lap when he finally relents. He scoops up the corgi in one hand and the mostly empty bowl of soggy cereal on the other, dropping it in the kitchen sink.
“Good night, or is it morning already?” He flashes you a grin that makes your insides flutter.
You chuckled, “See you later, Poe,”
You’re so fucked.
---
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littleballofwhitemage · 4 years ago
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Prompt: Ferality
Well I’ve been sitting on this one since the middle of January and it’s still a WIP but lemme slide it in at the last minute. 👈🏽👈🏽
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The day was going great till some Temple Knight’s came and carried me away from camp Dragonhead. I was literally about to go report to Lord Haurchefant when apprehended. I’m scared now, I hope I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m not aware of any laws I’ve broken. “I’m afraid I don’t understand gentleman what’s the problem.” They yelled at me to do something but won’t let me use my hands to explain that I’m deaf. This went on for the longest time then they shoved a picture in my face of Rielle. What do they want with her? She’s just a sweet little girl. They kept gesturing to the picture angrily and getting more agitated that I wasn’t responding to anything. Well good sirs if you could please unbind my hands, I will answer your questions and we can all go on our merry ways. But they didn’t. why are they treating me like a criminal? They don’t even seem to be trying to understand why I keep staring at them wide eyed and terrified. I just wanna go home to my friends.
6 hours. They fruitlessly interrogated me for 6 hours. Then they left me in the room typed up to the chair. These are expertly tied knots I can’t feel my hands anymore and know I have serious rope burns on my wrists. I never did get them to understand I couldn’t hear them or why they want Rielle for something. The man himself finally came sniffing around for me and burst through the doors. His expression was one of indignation as he rushed over and cut my restrains. I cradled my hands to my chest getting blood on my shirt and just cried. He took me to his home in Ishgard and hurried me into a room, ignoring everyone who acknowledged us. “What happened Shirojishi?” he asked me after bandaging up my wrists and I could feel my fingers again.
“I don’t know. They just came outta nowhere and dragged me into a building. I tried to ask them if I had done something wrong but they didn’t seem to understand or didn’t care and bound me. Then for 6 hours did nothing but yell at me for something. I don’t even know what. Maybe that I wasn’t answering them.”
“They? Whos they?” he wiped at some tears with a silky handkerchief. His other arm was around me tryna comfort me in a hug.
“Some Temple Knights. Atleast I think they were Knights they had similar armor.”
“I’ll be sure to get a word to Ser Aymeric about this. You’re more then welcome to stay here and recover.” I want to go back to Mor Dhona and be with them if they are really after Rielle but if they are tracking me I don’t wanna lead them straight to her. So I asked instead if he could see a letter delivered to Mor Dhona; the least I can do is warn them and tell them that I’m staying here a few days. Fray will try to rush here also filled with indignation and that unholy rage of his, but I must persuade him to stay with the Scions. For Rielle’s sake. And mine.
It’s been a few months since the random abduction and as expected Fray was livid. It took Sidurgu practically sitting on him to keep him from running out that door. I tried to tell him I was recovered from it, but he just motioned to his wrists while staring at mine. I still had the bandages on cause I didn’t wanna look at the wound or if any scarring occurred. I got another surprise visit from Haurchefant today he’s been doing this for the past few months. I told him many times before the visits weren’t necessary, he had work just like I did. Surely, they didn’t like it when he kept dropping everything to come and see me. He insists it’s the least he could do I was kidnapped under his supervision. “The world may not care that the warrior of light is a child, but I certainly do. All the more reason I wish you wouldn’t charge headlong into every dangerous thing that you’re told to do.”
“But I'm helping people, Lord Haurchefant. That’s what I want to do with my life. That’s why im a white mage.” He stepped closer and grabbed my hands but was pulled away by Fray, I didn’t even see Sidurgu stand up. They exchanged a few words then Haurchefant turned back to me.
“I see why you travel alone now. You never mentioned your boyfriend was a Dark Knight.” And with that he was rather hastily shown this meeting was over cause Fray picked me up and walked off. I waved to him as we entered dawn’s respite.
“why are they after Rielle? They just kept shoving her photo in my face.” He explained it was a sins of the father ordeal and Rielle was being hunted for his act of heresy. But she shouldn’t be held accountable for him much less when she was born like this. I don’t like this feeling in my chest tryna digest this revelation. Fray took my hand and told me I was getting angry at this. That’s a new one. I rarely get more then upset at something. “no surely you’re mistaken Fray I’m just-” I cut off and slowly put my hands in my lap, tryna find the word for the emotion I was feeling. The silence stretched for a few minutes before I looked back up at him and he spelled out a single word. Anger. It’s not that that I don’t think Rielle deserves this or that I shouldn’t be getting emotional over it, I’m just having a tough time processing.
I have vague memories of that day. The day I finally got angry at something. Now it’s just a regular occurrence. I see Fray always looking at me warily and talking to Sidurgu in what looks like a private manner, probably about me. My vague memories usually come to me in daydreams. I just remember blood, and lots of it. Tons of bodies belonging to Temple Knights were scattered in the harsh snow. I think was covered in blood as well. Sidurgu was there and he looked a little shaken. Rielle was like cowering behind him. And they were looking at me. But I couldn’t tell you why. I still try to stubbornly cling to non-confrontational ways but it’s increasingly difficult given the circumstances of my predicament. Atleast I found all my friends again in this strange land. Today I had to go to some weird city with Alphinaud, so I was like sure. Gotta make sure he’s not getting into anymore trouble. Again. We got to the city after passing through a shanty town and it struck me as odd. This wasn’t like back home in Ul Dah. There was a different feel to this wealth, I don’t know how to explain it. It felt uneasy is what im gonna peg it down as. It has every other requirement for the comparison. Shabby underbelly? Check. Rich people flaunting their wealth? Check. Poor shaming? Big ol check again. I saw all this while Alphinaud was drawing the Miqote couple. I’m a little unnerved by it all like something’s definitely not right here. It’s too……...perfect.
There was a commotion in the uppermost level so we all piled into that room and there on the ground was our Miqote friend. The one that stole from us to get into this city. I rushed forward and Alphinaud followed. Hes bleeding badly from his forearm onto the floor. That’s a nasty gash I wanted to immediately kneel down and heal him but Alphinaud was one step ahead of me. There it is again. That feeling of anger bubbling up in my chest threatening to spill over. Then he went on a spill about how this man has wronged him and I blacked out again. When I had come to, he told me I had tried to lunge at Vauthry and attack him after blacking out. Not that he entirely blames for it. Fray would be yelling at me for getting so upset. He doesn’t like it when I mimic what he does with that sword. I made him swear not to tell Fray anything about these blackouts I keep having, I hate how worried he looks when I tell him. I can’t understand beyond the face value of why he gets so bent outta shape. Face value being attacking people is obviously wrong. On a visit back to the Source I knew what I had to do. I’m an adult now and most importantly this anger isn’t going away or subsiding. It’s only growing in intensity. So I independently picked up Dark Knight. He may hate me for this but I don’t know what else to do.
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inknose · 5 years ago
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mdzs read diary part IV, the end
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It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF
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dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math
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chicken
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he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....
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IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point
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this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE
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This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”
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ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems
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it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to
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I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off
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doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!
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ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.
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I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!
I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:
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I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.
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god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug
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HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think
aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.
- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS
- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow
- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them
- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME
- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably
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masalvas-girl · 5 years ago
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𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓓𝓪𝔂.
❤️(CarlosxReader fanfiction) I'll do a second part if this reaches 10 likes.
Carlos' brown eyes roamed through Raccoon City's skyline from the distance. His team, the U.B.C.S, accompanied him in his journey to a city that was filled with terror and chaos. He felt anxious, and the clammy skin of his palms held the cyclic of the helicopter really tight. When the news that the city had succumbed to a new and strange disease that could turn people into brainless and flesh-hungry creatures got to him, he was in Latin America, doing some mercenary work for the Umbrella Company.
He instantly thought about her.
Carlos knew he had to go back and try to look for her, sure, she was a strong woman and she could take care of herself, but he couldn't just leave Juliet's fate to destiny. So, when the command was finally given, he took his equipment and went on to Raccoon City with one purpose... Finding Juliet.
During that ridiculously long flight, he had a lot of time to reflect. Carlos still loved her and he was well aware of that. Remembrance of her watery hazel eyes looking at him came to his mind, she was almost begging him to just run away with her and leave his work with Umbrella for reasons he couldn't comprehend. At the end of that day, Carlos made a choice, and now he had to go back and ask for her forgiveness. He hadn't stopped loving her a single bit, no matter how much time had passed since he saw her for the last time. He thought about her almost every hour of every day. The memories of her soft hands going through his chest and his hair, and the feel of her plump lips on his were the only things that kept him sane. Carlos had never really cared about the word 'regret' until he finally understood that she was gone.
When Carlos left her apartment that last time, she became a ghost and disappeared like if she had died. He looked for Juliet everywhere, like his life depended on it. Once he noticed that she would never answer the door again, he started making calls that where rejected, then wrote e-mails that were straight-on ignored. Hell, he even sent some bouquets of red roses, every each of them saying how wrong he was, and urging her to ring him, but still never received an answer. He only knew she still lived in the same place because her car still parked on the building's parking lot, and yet, he couldn't get near her, no matter how much he tried.
That's when the opportunity to leave the city and escape to Latin America appeared. He reasoned he had to change airs, in Raccoon City he was going completely nuts, and he had to take his distance from Juliet. Maybe that way he could forget about her, but with the distance, the longing only became worst, almost like that fucking disease that started eating away people's brains.
He had lost her one time, and he would never accept it if he lost her again, forever. The combination of those dark words scared him like a little boy, even more than the bizarre creatures that wandered the streets.
—Distracted much, huh? —said Tyrell once he cleaned the path from those monsters that up until a couple of weeks ago where humans with lives and feelings. Carlos recharged his gun, and lowered his guard just a little bit.
—I need to look for her, man. She must be near here, somewhere —Carlos led out a loud exhale, anticipating the soreness of the muscles in his legs from all the running they would have to do all night long. They didn't have the luxury of using their guns everytime they saw those creatures, because that would only draw the attention of the zombies that were nearby, so everytime they could avoid those things without killing them, they did it.
It was already dark out, and a couple of civilians were following their steps. Their plan was taking them to the subway, make it run, and save the most people they could. Carlos hoped for fuck's sake Juliet was beside him when it happened.
—Then just go for her. I'll wait for you in the subway. I need to investigate how to make it work.
Carlos nodded and Tyrell went on his own way with the people they were helping. He checked his surroundings and located himself, and realized that he was standing just a few blocks away from where Juliet's apartment used to be. He started walking silently, only with the sound of his heartbeat rumbling in his ears.
“Im gonna find you”, he whispered to himself.
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Please excuse any mistakes you might find in this short fanfic. I usually write in spanish (as it is my mother tongue), but tonight I decided I might as well challenge myself. If you have any requests for all things Carlos (whether in spanish or english), send me an ask with your idea. I do most things, including smut. I hope you liked this.
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