#one of the best songs to ever reach the audience from the most talented queen that is our beloved iu and AHHH for sannie and jongho's voices

[leenaur143]

we got our choi brothers collab... at the cost of my HEART AHHHHHHH 🥹❤️‍🔥

[starfire-s]

here’s a list of the best, mediocre and worst kdramas i watched in 2020

no one asked for this but it’s happening because i have thoughts (also all opinions are my own if you disagree then get well soon i guess... no i’m kidding make your own posts about it don’t hate me please) ahsjsj anyways click to read a lengthy post and if you actually read the whole thing then thank you i hope you enjoy this wild ride! 

THE BEST KDRAMAS -

mystic pop up bar - this show had everything i ask from a kdrama literally i can name it all found family (to real family), well thought out characters, a mystery plot, special effects, soft romances that were well written, a happy ending! no show in 2020 even comes close to how good this one was! the writers literally guided you throughout the whole thing so you could come up with theories and didn’t do a ‘aha! gotcha’ thing where they want to prove the audience wrong but they wanted us to be right and satisfied! the worst part about the drama is that it’s still so underrated and people just brush it off as some random fantasy show but it’s so much more than that! 1000/10

flower of evil - who doesn’t want to see lee joon gi being the son of a serial killer, living with the name of a man who is in a coma, and hiding his real identity from his wife who is a detective? this show constantly had me at the edge of my seat on a weekly basis so the emotions i went through while watching this are unparalleled! the writers also did such a good job on writing a coherent story that made sense and tied up all the plot points in the end. just a really satisfying show to watch! 10/10

where your eyes linger - i literally bought a $8 viki pass to watch this show so it should tell you everything you need to know about how i feel ahsjsj the episodes were 10 minutes long but we got a good story with well written characters who got character development in a total of 80 minutes it’s insane! honestly it’s still hard to believe this show had rookie actors because they were just so emotive that you could feel all the happiness, sadness, yearning and pining! probably one of my fave kdramas this year because of the acting that i always constantly rewatch! would recommend 10/10

crash landing on you - okay so this drama was actually released on my birthday last year and it was a time in my life when i was going through a lot so maybe it’s the comfort this show provided me through that time this is why i have such a soft spot for it? like the romance was good, it was funny, there was found family, the nk soldiers were all softies, there were strong female leads, soft male leads!!! ahh!! no other show on this list made me think about the unification of south korea and north korea irl because i wanted se ri and jeong hyeok to be together 4ever! but the only issue i had with this show was the ending they gave seung jun if they didn’t do that i’d give this show a 10/10 but just for that they get a 9/10

psycho but it’s okay - this was one of those shows where you’re literally like ‘wow everyone here needs therapy’ but this show was amazing i loved the story telling and how each episode related to children’s book/fairytales! the writers also did a good job with how carefully they talked about mental health in depth without villainising their characters but actually tried to make the audience understand why they were this way which included all the side characters too who had a well thought out story in each episode! also the dynamic between moon young, kang tae and sang tae was everything to me the actors all did an amazing job portraying their characters, it truly was a healing drama. the only thing i didn’t like about this show was the whole plastic surgery plot with the mother like that was very far fetched but it provided drama so i’ll let it slide because the rest was amazing. this show is a solid 8.5/10

18 again - another underrated gem! who would’ve thought a remake of that zac efron movie could be this good!! lee do hyun stole this show for sure the way he portrayed his character and gave heart eyes to his kids (when he’s only 25 irl was the best thing i saw this year ahsjs) i loved the family dynamics in this show, i loved how it talked about what it’s like to be young parents and how society still think it’s taboo to be divorced! it’s a show that makes you laugh and cry at the same time and that’s why everyone should watch it! however, the biggest clown thing this show did to me though was that i got sls for the first time while watching a kdrama... hwang in yeop if u’re reading this i love u and u deserved better 🤡 that aside this show was a 8/10

itaewon class - i actually didn’t watch this drama as it was airing because i thought i wouldn’t enjoy the plot but when i watched it i binged the whole thing in 2 days and my biggest regret is i didn’t watch it sooner! everyone knows i have a soft spot for park seo joon since he’s my favourite actor i’ve literally watched all his dramas like he could star in the trashiest drama out there and i’d still watch it and be like wow (looking at she was pretty 👀) this show aside from the acting had one of the best revenge plots in a kdrama! just watching a character realistically hustle his way to reach the top while fighting the corrupt man whose son killed his father was so so satisfying to watch! however, the love triangle in this show was questionable idk what they were trying to do with that but it personally annoyed me! but still i’ll give this show a 7.5/10 because i enjoyed it a lot!

do you like brahms? - kim min jae and park eun bin.. that’s all you need to know about why this is a good kdrama! i’m usually not a big fan of melodramas and everyone knows i prefer rom coms but this show was just so perfectly melo that i loved all the angst and pain we got!! also just watching two introverted people awkwardly fall in love was amazing! the characters story arcs were also handled pretty well with song ah finally learning to speak up for herself and joon young learning to express how he truly feels! but... the love square? was probably the most annoying thing the rest in my opinion was nicely done! i know people had mixed feelings about the ending but i loved that after all the pain joon young and song ah went through they got a happy ending together! 7/10

find me in your memory - okay this show started off very slow and it was confusing at the start but as it progressed everything in the plot started to fall into place! i mean this show really took opposites attract to a new level where the male lead could remember every single detail from his life but the female lead had to forget some of her traumatic memories to help her cope with her life! they were also tied together through a mutual character who was a big part of their lives in a different way! just an interesting melodrama with interesting characters i liked it! and moon ga young... i love you queen!!! 7/10

THE MEDIOCRE KDRAMAS -

more than friends - was the storytelling in this show groundbreaking? no. was the acting decent? yes. also probably the main reason i stuck with this show until the end! i think we can all agree lee soo had the best character development on this show he started off as a bad boy who wore one ear stud to actually becoming a well liked character... who else did it like him? no one. also the chemistry between the mains was 🔥 but the second male lead was so annoying is there a opposite word for second lead syndrome because i had that for sure! i think the best part about this show was the people i watched it with on here... shoutout to the five of us ahsjsj also this show introduced me to a talented actor/singer like ong seong wu (y’all know my kpop knowledge is nonexistent so no i didn’t know he was in a band called wanna one) all in all a predictable show but i had fun watching it so 6.5/10

tale of the nine tailed - i didn’t actually watch this show i watched it through gifs and instagram posts ahsjsjs so am i qualified to talk about my opinion definitely no... will I talk about it anyways yes lmao. lee rang deserved better that’s all goodbye and take care. 5.5/10

start up - probably one of the most awaited opinions. y’all thought this would be in the worst kdramas section but i decided to give this show some rights. the show started off strong, lost it’s way after episode 6 and then the last episode gave me what i wanted so i have mixed feelings. the writing was not the best i think we can all agree, love triangle as a plot device? wow so groundbreaking 🤡 the characters on the other hand... i loved every single one of them i mean ship wars? i don’t know her. the show had a lot of potential that was wasted but we also got some cute moments between the characters so there was really no winning or losing with this show? but in all honesty you can’t put a talented cast together like this and then just decide to give the audience a mediocre plot but the writers did exactly that! i think i can redirect y’all to my ‘crimes this show committed’ post for a in-depth analysis. lastly nam do san was a GOOD and REFRESHING male lead and ji pyeong was also a GOOD and FUN second male lead!!! this show gave me the ugliest ship war ever that i was transported back to my high school tvd days so thank you for that!! but the cast was loveable and all had a lot of chemistry together so here’s a 5/10 maybe that's too generous but... i think the reason why i didn't enjoy watching this show as much was definitely because of the tag on here lmao

THE WORST KDRAMAS -

the king eternal monarch - i miss clowning this show so much. the amount of braincells i lost while trying to understand this plot... i should be compensated by the writers. however, woo do hwan was a treat to look at on a weekly basis... however the writers kept decreasing his screen time even though he had a dual role... make it make sense? and i cannot comment on the plot of this show because i still don’t understand anything? also in my opinion tae eul and lee gon were the most bland couple of 2020, there was no chemistry between them and there was just a random kiss in episode 5 and they randomly said i love you... where was the development? also lee gon was soooo boring and such a one dimensional male lead! literally all the side characters were so much more interesting and the cast was good... but this plot. 2/10

do do sol sol la la sol - i wanna fight the writer who decided that the plot twist on the show would be that jun is a minor? i had no expectations from this show but it looked cute and nonsensical but that plot twist made me run the other way so fast that i never looked back! just because jun is a boy they really thought this would be excused like lmao we all have critical thinking skills???? the clown behaviour. a solid 1/10

record of youth - i hate this show so much. imagine not utilising park so dam who just starred in the biggest oscar winning movie to her full potential. imagine just making her a love interest to park bo gum’s character in the year 2020. i watched it up until episode 6 and i kept waiting for her character to get development... but it never happened so i dropped this show. also this show featured the MOST useless love triangle i have ever seen in my life like what was the point? also park bo gum’s characters family was straight up annoying (minus the grandpa) but they got so much screen time like that should’ve been given to park so dam... also villainising a gay side character for no reason at all in the year 2020? this show was a waste of my time i want the 6 hours i spent watching this back. -100/10 

backstreet rookie - i watched one episode of this and literally wanted to rip my eyeballs out of my head. idk what ji chang wook was thinking when he signed this drama i think he lost his ability to read because that's the only reasonable explanation for why he chose to star in such a dumpster fire show! this show had a racist character... had a high schooler kiss an adult... sexist jokes... just the worst things you can think of in a drama... this show had it. i still can’t believe so many people watched this show to the point where it had better ratings than pbio... really made me question everyone’s taste? but sorry can’t relate my taste is excellent so here’s the rating this show actually deserves -1000/10

if you made it this far... thank you for reading. let’s continue to love some kdramas together and get clowned by others in 2021! looking forward to it 😅

[agathaharknes]

yennaia + gamer au

This was supposed to be three sentences and definitely not crack but I just had to... sksjsjssksjjs.

Yennaia prompt: Gamer AU.

LINK TO ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN IN THE REPLIES.

Word count: 1.8k+ Pairing: Yennaia. Rating: T.

Tissaia really had no idea why she was doing this. Perhaps to appease Rita. Perhaps because her addiction to nicotine had worsened over the course of one year of a bloody Continent-wide pandemic and she was loath to use her credit card every time she needed a new pack of cigarettes. Perhaps she was going through a midlife crisis to cope with the fact that being the Chancellor of Aretuza College was already stressful enough without half the generations there trying to fool her subordinates into thinking cardboard replicas or even mannequins counted as attendance or simply because the rest of the Board of Governors (Stregobor) couldn't differentiate between what could be said through an email and what required her to clean her entire house so the background of her call was pristine.

Her controller vibrated in her hands, (Why, for the love of the Gods, couldn't that setting be turned off?) her knuckles turning white from gripping it so strongly. "Oh, for fu- heaven's sake." There, she had been ambushed. Again. A funny and wholly unexpected thing happened, though, one of the users turned on her companions, offing the lot of them with clean headshots the brunette definitely couldn't pull off in the span of twenty seconds.

"Uhh..." What does one say when your virtual saviour just betrayed her entire party on a whim and was being cursed at obnoxiously loudly and vulgarly for it?

Yennefer ignored Sabrina calling her names that absolutely applied to her and her hormonal reaction to a lovely blue-eyed MILF the likes of which she had only seen in her dreams. "No thanks needed, love. I was getting tired of seeing you frown like someone had keyed your car every time you got killed. A pretty thing like you should only have cause to smile." Oh, Gods, now she sounded like a creepy old man that lived in his mum's basement. Great. Good job. Her Social Studies major was an absolute hit. Fuck her life. Fuck Oxenfurt College. And fuck Sabrina's witch-like cackling while she was at it. "Name’s Yennefer." She choked out miserably.

Tissaia scowled at her laptop. Hackers. Amazing. This was the best day of her new normal life. "Mind telling me how you broke through the most expensive antivirus in the Continent, dear? Because now I really need a refund." Now she also needed to contact Aretuza’s IT team on a Saturday night, because she was not about to mess any further with these blasphemous machines, thank you very much.

Wait, what? "That wasn't me... You left your camera on." The woman legitimately squealed at that, her oversized jumper sliding down her left shoulder and exposing just a glimpse of her collarbone as she pinned up her hair into a bun with... were those pens fashioned as swords? Oh, bugger, this was so not the time to get turned on! "Are you alright?" Mercifully Sabrina, Renfri and Phillipa were already accosting someone else, else she was sure the brunette would've completely lost it, more than she already was doing, anyways. "Hello?" No answer.

Tissaia was fishing for her boots when she started ranting, “Oh, don’t you worry! I’m fine! Just dandy! This is exactly how I wanted my life to go.” She motioned with her hand to the space around her. “I wished for nothing more than dealing with complete morons from nine to six, five days a week, whilst trying to make sure my sanity doesn't desert me.” Biting her lower lip for a moment she began checking that the ends of the laces were the same length when she pulled them up. “Running right after to my local grocery store to buy more instant meals that are probably going to give me cancer in five years if the bullshit articles my mother keeps sending me-”

Yennefer had told herself she wasn’t going to allow this wasn’t going to get any creepier than her misguided comment but she still had a gift code for that nice liquor store which conveniently had retailers popping up every six blocks everywhere for the last few months, especially in Thanned isle, only Gods knew why. “This bloody succubus of a twat that is my best friend has been forcing me to constantly use this cursed game by changing the password for my email and then Aretuza’s server and then-” Bingo. One text to Philippa and they had her IP address, with a mortified Triss already calling Jaskier since she was the only one that had managed to get a decent scholarship at that posh college.

This was her future wife who was about to jump from a bridge from the looks of her and they just had to do humanity a great service by saving her from herself and from sobriety.

“Can you believe that tosser? I am a lesbian! I spent my teenage years clad in flannel until my girlfriends staged an intervention kind of lesbian! Yes, Vilgefortz, I will sue you for harassment in the workplace and I will blacklist you. No, Vilgefortz, I don’t want to break quarantine to go on a date with you and I definitely do not want your disgusting cologne anywhere near my-” Tissaia’s head shot up, her doorbell was ringing and she pinched the bridge of her nose, reaching for a new, disposable, mask.

“You stay right there.” She threatened the girl, who had the most beautiful violet… Perhaps she really ought to let Coral get her a therapist. It rang again. “Gods-damn-it.” She thought.

Her plan was going marvellously. She would only have to sleep with a knife under her pillow for a few weeks for blackmailing Sabrina (Who honestly hadn’t the slightest talent to pass off plagiarism as a sudden stroke of genius in her final project without her aid.) into going along with this. The blonde was lighting the candles around the monitor without trying to burn her hair off and had given away her best bottle of cheap but still good wine for the cause. Thanks to Renfri and her frankly psychotic, owl obsessed, girlfriend she already knew what she would be replacing her trauma-ridden last name with! Splendid!

The brunette shut the door on Jaskier’s face after taking the brown paper bag from his hands, spraying the bottle of vodka inside it with so much disinfectant that it dripped down onto her carpet. Taking off her gloves and disposing of them, she grabbed a knife from the counter and ignoring the annoying blue light that came from the kitchen table, “Oh, shit. You’re soulmates. I’ll tell the rest of the girls we’re all fucked.” Tissaia cut off the upper part of the glass in one smooth hit, like Calanthe had taught her when the then teacher could still be considered fun by her groups of friends.

“Shut up, tiddybug!” She heard Yennefer sing-song.

Feeling like being crass the blue-eyed woman took a rather large swing directly from the bottle. Sitting back down, she sighed. Yennefer took a dignified sip from her wine; she could do balanced when her significant other to-be needed to let loose. “Did you like the bottle? It has good reviews from… wait a minute… apparently several alcoholics who don’t know what a budget is.”

Tissaia’s face paled. “I thought you weren’t a hacker.” The woman muttered. She didn’t fancy getting kidnapped and… No, no, no. Fucking Rita. What was the cost of moving, again? If she slept four hours less a day and split her cleaning time in two she could probably trade this house for Stregobor's in-

“I am not!” Yennefer cried. Bloody hell. “You just mentioned that you worked at Aretuza and-” Sabrina had probably started a group call and Phillipa was indeed hacking into her computer to save her arse. The Redanian was currently writing a script for her to follow. “Your username in the game is your surname. My friends and I tried to get into that school a few years back and I do remember that the Chancellor is a woman and that her last name is de Vries.” Her username wasn’t her last name, it was actually something that suggested she was an Ice Queen of the highest order. Queen Elsa from the movie Frozen would be intimidated kind of Ice Queen.

“Everyone is aware the highest-ranking members of the faculty live in chalets near the castle, pardon, the building.” True. According to Triss, that was a part of their contract that if unfulfilled prohibited them from working there ever again. To Yennefer that seemed borderline cruel, forcing them to be available at all hours like circus animals for juniors that didn’t deserve their spots.

“My best friend is a student there and she knows which one is your home because she wants to eventually be a teacher.” Partially true. Until that day came, Triss, like any rational individual, avoided the Chapter’s Village like the plague lingered inside, and wouldn’t be caught dead there unless she had to stop Sabrina from doing something stupid because of the anarchist phase she was going through. Jaskier was an acquaintance of hers of sorts because Triss had tutored his boyfriend Geralt in Biology and being daddy’s boy, he knew which one was Tissaia’s house because he had almost gotten expelled like fifteen times.

“I honestly just wanted to do something nice for you, you sounded like you needed it and… I know quarantine hasn’t been lifted once in Temeria since it all started.” Philippa wrote then that she would probably make for a decent actor without flashing her breasts to the audience every five minutes. She pursed her lips and replied in the mock post-it note to fuck off.

“I… I… Thank you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed- I’m sorry, darling.” Her pale cheeks flushed at the term of endearment that slipped her tongue and Tissaia bowed down her head, red-painted nails caressing the glass bottle almost reverently. “Say, why don’t you tell me what your email address is and I send you my mobile via chat? The explosions in the background aren’t that, uhm, comforting to listen to when I’d much rather be hearing your voice.” Should she have looked up she would have seen the smile that threatened to split Yennefer’s face. “Only if you want to, of course! I- what am I even saying? Never mi-”

“No! Wait!” She placated. Sabrina squeezed her shoulder as she went to retrieve her phone charger, offering her a genuine smile. “I’d love to.”

“Okay.” Said Tissaia, an awed sound leaving her throat when blue finally meet with lilac. Gods, she was drop-dead gorgeous. Rita could have whichever bottle, all the liquor she wanted from the school’s cellar for indirectly enabling this.

Was one week a proper enough courting period to then buy the engagement ring? Or should she just have Philippa get her the best, costliest one from that jewellery eshop they all liked through some minor fraud that would take her like half an hour at most, today? “Good.” Yennefer de Vries had such a nice ring to it.

[spooky-z]

College Françoise Dupont’s talent show [5/5]

• 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 4.1 • 5 • 5.1 •

Warning: suicide mention at the final

@ozmav @maribat-archive

Damian was not one bit happy with the wistful eyes of Adrien for Marinette.

Since the confrontation with the class, Wayne noticed that the blonde did not take the eyes of his bride. Perhaps he was not even blinking. He could barely see the boy breathing!

“Damian, control your temper.” Tim nudged him. “Looks like you’re going to jump the golden boy’s neck anytime.”

They were sitting in the auditorium, lights on, people searching their seats. The whole family sitting in the third row of the main set of chairs, occupying the entire row.

The order being from the far left starting with Alfred, Bruce, Dick, Kori, Jason, Tim, Damian, Sabine, Tom, Chloe, Kagami, Allan, Allegra and Claude.

Jagged and Penny had been taken into the cabin, accompanied by Chloe’s parents and Kagami’s mother.

Adrien and the rest of the class, sitting in the second row. The blonde standing right in front of him, not disguising the fact that he was facing Marinette, who was on stage talking quietly with Felix and the director.

“If he doesn’t stop eating her with his eyes, I’ll…” and clenched his fist, imagining Agreste’s head in the middle of it.

Sabine, who had heard the exchange, laughed softly. Her son-in-law was so cute.

“Honey, it’s like we say: they may look, but they can’t have it,” she says, her hand on Damian’s fist. “My daughter looks beautiful. If no one looked at her twice, I would have been offended on her behalf.”

He bites his lip in conflict, but seems to decide that his mother-in-law was right and looked away from the blonde, preferring the sight of his angel.

“Good evening everyone.” The director says in the microphone, Marinette and Felix at his right side, microphones in their hands. “Today we mark the end of the talent week and also the end of the semester.” He pauses with the sound of the applause “this week was indeed amazing. Many talents discovered; many laughs obtained. It was wonderful.“

The audience shouts in agreement. Damian frowns with the particularly high-pitched scream in his ear and glances quickly at Tim.

“Today, as you can see, I have two guests with me” the director says again “Marinette Dupain-Cheng-”

“Hello!” Marinette sings into the microphone, a sweet smile on her face.

“-And Felix Aguillard.” Felix bows to the audience “Our first graders of the year.” More applause.

At the sound of the applause, Damian was able to hear a loud "What ?!” coming from the row in front of him, but could not recognize the voice because of the noise.

“It’s been a year since they’ve been studying at both Dupont and a prestigious university.” General choke “Marinette at ESMOD and Felix at INSEAD-”

“WHAT?!” Lila shouts in surprise, cutting off the director. She sits up quickly when she realizes that she has lost control in front of everyone. “Sorry, I was just surprised.”

Chloe scoffs before shouting to the stage “THAT’S MY GIRL!”

Marinette laughs “And Fe? He’s your boy too, isn’t he?” Teases into the microphone.

Felix looks at her, the pained expression on his face.

Chloe scowls at them and screams once again, “I’m sorry, but I’m SUPER GAY.” And the audience laughs out loud at the antics. The director looks unsure of what to do.

“Ahem,” he catches everyone’s attention, the laughter calming down. “Continuing what I was saying- Today marks their last high school day, so nothing fairer than them being our special guests of the night. The two will open for today’s participants, but they will not be part of the competition.” And ends, waving to the two talk something before they begin.

Felix shakes his head, saying he doesn’t want to say anything and follows him off the stage, but Marinette takes the lead, microphone tight in her hands.

“Good evening everyone.” She says, “Like Principal Damocles said, my name is Marinette. Marinette Dupain-Cheng and I want a little of your time.” Her eyes gauge each of the audience, not stopping at anyone for long.

“Today has been a particularly special day for me.” It starts “But I’ll start with last month. Last month I was able to go a step further in my career. I received an undeniable proposal and now my things must be arriving at Gotham, my old and new residence.” She notices some violent reactions in the ranks of her former class. Alya. “Today… today I was proposed by the man I love. Today I have friends supporting me, I have my family by my side, I’m having you all now.” Her slightly wet eyes, Damian notes, wanting more than anything to be by her side right now.

“But it wasn’t always like that.” His tone a little bitter. “There was a time, like, about three years ago, that I had people in my life that I thought were there to support me. To be my friends. To support me when I’m not well…” she sighs “But I was wrong. So wrong.”

“I came to such a low point, so dark, that time has stopped. Like this. I had lost my will, my motivation. I was alive but not living.” Sabine, who had been holding back tears, could no longer and cried silently “But hey! This is not a sad story. It’s not because I found good people. Great friends. A great boyfriend. It was not easy at first. There have been relapses. Days I wanted to do nothing more than sleep and sleep. But I did it.” She winked at Lila, who seemed to have eaten something bad.

“I’m reaching my goals. Saying goodbye to most of you, see you soon to others and a ‘I hope I never have to see you again’ for the ones left.” She says sweet, so sweet that her teeth hurt.

“It was thinking about this past, this dark spot of my life, that I wrote a song … Yeah! I know! You were expecting a fashion show, but here I am, ready to sing.” Jokes with the general surprise.

She looks at the side edge of the stage. Luka was waiting for the signal to be able to enter. She blinks at him and he smiles, the guitar positioned in his hands.

“To sing this song I would need support, so a friend volunteered for this role.” She turns to the audience. “Please, a round of applause for Luka Couffaine, my best friend.”

///

Alya was… She didn’t know how she was feeling at that moment.

She had stopped trying to understand what had been going on since Chloe had appeared with Kagami two nights ago to pick up Marinette at the theater.

That was so frustrating! How, when … The three had become friends. How Marintte could forgive Chloe. When Marinette had overcome her rivalries with Kagami.

Alya didn’t understand. Alya didn’t know.

Alya didn’t remember when it was the last time she’d talked to Marinette. Her best friend.

But she remembered the last time she’d screamed at the brunette about being mean. About how after so many years, she still hasn’t gotten over her jealousy of Lila. How Adrien would never love her if she continued this behavior.

She remembered the teary blueberries, the flushed cheeks (of shame or anger she didn’t know) and the weak voice asking to leave her alone.

But it wasn’t her fault! She just wanted the brunette to grow up, take her head off the Adrien world, and live. Give Lila a chance.

What did not happen. Marinette just walked away.

She would come to school, attend classes, and then disappear. No one knew where she was going at breaks. During classes, she hardly interacted with others.

Just Chloe.

And Alya still couldn’t understand. Didn’t understand what Marinette was saying on that stage. Didn’t know what she was talking about. She was trying. Really. But it was all in vain to see Luka Couffaine come on stage.

His slightly longer, unruly hair combed anyway, torn black jeans, shiny boots, and a black T-shirt under a mossy green leather jacket. A guitar in his arms.

His eyes wrapped in a thick layer of khol.

He bent slightly toward Marinette’s microphone, a polite smile on his lips.

“Good night, Dupont. I’m Luka and I’m here today to help Minette in one or two songs.” He says “God knows how bad she is with the guitar.” He laughs when Marinette jokes him playfully.

She takes his microphone and says again "I think we should start, what do you think ?!”

A projector screen descends behind them and they begin.

No, I think I’ll stay in tonight

Skip the conversations and the “Oh, I’m fines”

No, I’m no stranger to surprise

This paper town has let me down too many times

And, man. She was good.

Alya was surprised, scared even.

Why do I even try? Give me a reason why

I thought that I could trust you, never mind

Why all the switching sides? Where do I draw the line?

I guess I’m too naive to read the signs

Adrien shifted uncomfortably beside Nino. His gravelly face.

He was sure the music was for them, the class.

For him.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

The screen behind them began to pass photos.

Photos of Marinette that no one in the class had ever seen before.

All they ever do is let me down

Every time I let somebody in

The first photo to appear contained Luka and Marinette hugging each other. Her arms around his neck, their cheeks glued together and his arms around her waist.

The unknown background landscapes. The sun shining bright.

Luka was wearing only a black T-shirt, his hair a mess and the tongue sticking out. Marinette in a black cropped with blue accents, her hair in a bun, eyes closed and a huge smile.

She looked so happy.

Adrien cringed.

Then I find out what they’re all about

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

In the next picture, Chloe and the brunette were sleeping together on a futon, probably in Mari’s room.

Chloe wearing Ladybug pajamas being the small spoon and Marinette Abeille being the big spoon.

Alya tasted the blood.

Wonder where they’re all hidin’ out

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

Gotta get up out of this town

In the third photo, Marinette was sitting on Kagami’s lap while they were taking selfies. The two making funny faces.

Kagami’s hands steady around Marinette.

And that was a shock to Nino.

The ice queen being funny and protective of someone.

Oh, oh

Oh, ah

A picture of the four of them together at a sleepover in what looked like Chloe’s room. Luka had a face mask, Chloe’s hair stuck in bobs, Kagami painting her nails, and Marinette reading a fashion magazine.

All of them on the bedroom floor, sweets and snacks spread and a television on in a black and white film.

The photo was taken by a fifth unknown person.

I stay up, talkin’ to the moon

Been feelin’ so alone in every crowded room

Can’t help but feel like something’s wrong, yeah

'Cause the place I’m livin’ in just doesn’t feel like home

This time it was a video of Marinette in what looked like a kitchen. A huge kitchen. Wearing a black shirt too big to be hers, probably making breakfast.

She had a spatula in her hand, distracted, using it as a microphone while singing something.

The man who had arrived with Bruce Wayne, the one with the black and white hair, joins her singing. They start dancing like crazy around the kitchen.

The video ends with him slipping and falling, Marinette laughing out loud before falling too.

It didn’t even last 20 seconds.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

All they ever do is let me down

Every time I let somebody in

Then I find out what they’re all about

Another video came, this time Marinette is sitting on the grass, surrounded by puppies. Two Great Dane resting their heads on her lap while she pats them.

Damian Wayne joins her and she rests against him.

He looks at the person filming and the filming quickly ends.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

Wonder where they’re all hidin’ out

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

Gotta get up out of this town

The next picture had Marinette in a gym, leggings, black top, hair in a ponytail.

Another of the men who came in with Bruce Wayne, on her shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

She was all skinny muscle.

Nino heard Adrien choke and cough.

I just wanna talk about nothin’

With somebody that means somethin’

Spell the names of all our dreams and demons

For the times that I don’t understand

Marinette this time was in the same kitchen (video), an old man beside her watching her beat the dough in the bowl.

The crowded bench with Damian, Bruce and the other three men, Chloe, Kagami, Luka and… Félix?!

Tell me what’s the point of a moon like this

When I’m alone again

Can I run away to somewhere beautiful

Where nobody knows my name?

There was a joint gagging of class with the pool photo.

Damian felt jealous boil again.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

All they ever do is let me down

I let somebody in

But I find out what they’re all about

The next photo had Jagged Stone, Penny Rolling, Clara Nightingale, Prince Ali, and XY at a picnic. All dressed informally, looking comfortable, smiling at Marinette who was playing with Fang in the background.

And that’s how Ms. Bustier’s class seemed to remember that Jagged didn’t have a cat but a crocodile.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

All they ever do is let me down

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

Gotta get up out of this town, yeah

The last picture was of everyone together.

Dupain-Cheng, Waynes, Chloe, Kagami, Luka, Felix, Claude, Allegra, Allan, Jagged, Penny, Clara, Ali, XY. Even Fang and the Great Danes.

Everyone was looking at the camera, smiling excitedly. Marinette in Damian’s arms and a banner with “Joyeux anniversaire, Marinette” in the background.

Oh, oh

Oh, ah

Marinette and Luka ended the song’s last chord when a video, this time with sound, played on the big screen.

“… Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!”

Marinette turns horrified to the big screen.

“This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!” Marinette on the big screen screams along with the music.

The girl throws her arms up, jumping on the bed. The Batman themed pajamas.

“Oh my god, Minette…” the recording person laughs softly so the girl doesn’t hear.

Marinette continues to scream the lyrics, unaware that she is being recorded, until the recording person starts laughing out loud and she gets scared.

“… Jason?” She has a confused expression on her face until she notices the camera and her face becomes homicidal. “Were you recording…?”

The man seems to be scared because the laughter soon dies.

“… No?” he tries.

“Really? So, you don’t mind me taking a look at your phone, do you?” She gets off the bed and goes toward him.

“… Listen, I think Alfred is calling me. Bye!” He runs from her, but doesn’t finish recording.

With him running, the phone only films the confused shapes of the house, but everyone is still able to hear Marinette running after him.

“BACK HERE TODD!”

"NOT! I DON’T WANT TO DIE AGAIN!”

Shooting continues for another two seconds and then ends abruptly.

Luka was laughing openly on stage, Marinette still with her back to the audience, blushing embarrassed and the audience laughing.

And that was how the last night of the Talent Show began.

///

Lila was waiting for her at the backstage.

Marinette knew that an hour would have to face the girl, but did not think she would attack in such an open and public place.

But objectively, this was the only chance she had, since Marinette was leaving Paris that night.

“Should I congratulate you on the engagement, Dupain-Cheng? Or should we talk about your poor attempt to come out on top?” Lila scoffs, the smugness on her face. “Because it didn’t work. They are still eating in the palm of my hand.”

Marinette sighs already tired.

"What do you want, Lila?”

“I just came to brag. I like to throw salt on the wound.”

“That’s good! Because I like it too.” Marinette says, her tone becoming sharp. “Do you really think I would go away and do nothing to unmask you, Lila Rossi?” Lila stiffens the smile. “Or rather, Volpina, the accomplice of Hawkmoth.”

The girl steps back as Marinette approaches.

"What are you talking about?” She countered. “Are you going crazy?”

“Crazy? I? No.” Marinette laughs “I just think it’s funny that you think there would be no consequences helping a terrorist. And no use denying, I know you have been helping Hawkmoth and Mayura all these years. Your best friend, Ladybug, told me.”

The two do not notice Adrien, Nino and Alya coming. Adrien, noticing the situation, prevents Alya from trying to help Lila and forces them both to hear the conversation hidden behind some wood panels.

“… So, what if I helped Hawkmoth?” They hear Lila say. Adrien feels his blood run cold. “I was a minor. A child. You have nothing against me.”

There is a break and Marinette respond.

“That’s where you’re wrong Lila. Gabriel Agreste may have been arrested and refused to speak, but the evidence, Lila, speaks for itself.” Her firm voice “One year, Lila. A year gathering evidence against you and look, I was surprised to learn that I wasn’t the only person you emotionally abused.”

“… What?” Lila whispers looking scared.

“Emilia Shawn’s suicide.” Marinette’s voice comes out like lightning. “Don’t you remember her, Lila? The girl you bullied so much she couldn’t stand and threw herself off the roof of your school in Italy?” Alya was crying on Nino’s shoulder.

“No problem you don’t remember Emilia!” Marinette says very cheerfully “As long as you remember Cassandra. Or Phillip. Marie… Rico.”

“How do you… how do you know those names?” Lila shouts.

“Because unlike you and our lovely classmates, Lila, families didn’t believe their children were abusive monsters and committed suicide because they were sorry.”

There are footsteps, Adrien gets up enough to see what was going on and recognizes Agent Raincomprix with the National Police, surrounding Marinette and Lila.

Damian Wayne appears along with Bruce Wayne alongside Marinette.

“You cannot do that! I was just a child! Children make mistakes!” Lila begins to freak out when she realizes the situation.

“No, Lila. This is murder and terrorism. And you will pay for what you did.” Marinette says.

Damian hugs the brunette in support and she squeezes his arms in thanks.

"Lila Aloisi Rossi, you are arrested for accomplice of murder and terrorism.” The Raincomprix agent says as he holds Lila in handcuffs “You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say can and will be used against you.”

"What? NO! LET ME GO!” Lila shouts, going crazy as she struggles.

The police soon have to help the agent contain her and before they leave, he turns to Marinette and the Waynes.

“Bruce Wayne, Marinette. Thanks for your help.” He nods. “It’s up to us now.” And leaves.

“Thank you mr. Raincomprix.” Marinette says.

"I’ll go with you guys,” Bruce says and joins the agents.

Meanwhile, Lila was still screaming and kicking through the theater corridors, people leaving to find out what was going on.

Ms. Bustier’s whole class watching.

“YOU HAVE TO UNLEASH ME! I HAVE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!” She shouted.

Bruce Wayne, who was right behind the National Police surrounding Lila, looked smug when he spoke.

“Your country has withdrawn your immunity after we have presented the evidence of your crimes, Lila Rossi.” Lila widened her eyes, the panic evident. “You will face justice in full rights.”

Damian believes that all of Paris was able to hear the scream that the Italian gave.

He turned the woman in his arms, needing to look her in the eye.

“It’s over, angel.” He whispers to her, noticing the tear in her eyes.

Marinette sighs, relaxing against him.

“It’s over, Dami. Ended.“

[tag list]

@mystery-5-5 @spicybelladonna @iglowinggemma28 @crazylittlemunchkin@lunaraquaenby @maude-zarella @mooshoon @kuroko26@littleredrobinhoodlum @fanboy7794 @shadowberrybinch @k-rena-k@captainmac6 @clumsy-owl-4178  @tazanna-blythe @vixen-uchiha @zebrabaker @chloe-bourgeois-is-big-gay @artxyra @ellerahs @minightrose@redscarlet95 @soaringowlsstuff @xxkelsey39

[joannerowlingfans]

JK Rowling’s Track Of My Years choices:

Cloudbusting by Kate Bush

Heaven by Emeli Sande

Big Country by Big Country

Court and Spark by Joni Mitchell

All Along The Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix  

River Song by Dennis Wilson  

Ramble On by Led Zeppelin

Waitress by First Aid Kit

Ain’t No Sunshine by Bill Withers  

Dream On Dreamer by Brand New Heavies

Cloudbusting by Kate Bush – being a student in Paris:

JK: [Cloudbusting] came out in 1985 when I was still a student… because I was studying French I spent a year in Paris… I was teaching students in a lycee, basically a comprehensive on the outskirts of Paris. It was a very particular experience going away, I left a boyfriend back in Britain and we were all quite young and we were all quite broke… we had some wonderful adventures during that time… there’s something very wistful about that track… we were all people who like to travel and there was a sense of being lost, but in quite a nice way I suppose, we were exploring life a lot at that time… I don’t know how I managed to get Paris because a lot of my friends ended up in tiny little towns in the middle of nowhere so we all had very varied experiences. I couldn’t believe that I’d got Paris which was of course my first choice.

Heaven by Emeli Sande – remembering the fear of doing the London Olympics Opening Ceremony

JK: I love this song so much, but I have a particular memory attached to it which was the London Olympics Opening Ceremony. They played this track during the ceremony and that was probably the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done in my life, being part of that Opening Ceremony and, in fact, I told Danny Boyle twice, ‘I can’t do it, Danny, I just can’t, I would be too scared’. I’ve got better, but I find public speaking an ordeal. I’ve got better at it and I’ve made myself get braver about it, but I said to him I can’t do it in front of that large an audience, I can’t do it live, please don’t ask me and he kept asking, kept asking me and finally he just said to me, ‘Look, we’ve got the Queen jumping out of an aeroplane’ and when he told me that I honestly thought, [that] no-ones even going to remember I was there. If that’s happening, that’s sort of takes the pressure off! But I do remember just rehearsing and practising and practising this little piece I had to read and when it was over I cannot tell you the sense of exhilaration that I’d done it, I hadn’t fallen over, I hadn’t messed up the reading so I went up into the stands to sit with some people I knew and then we watched this extraordinary ceremony and they played this Emeli Sande track and I will forever associate it with that night…. I said to my husband on the night, ‘On my deathbed, that will be a moment I remember, going out into that stadium.’ It was the most epic event that I’d ever been involved in and I think all of us who participated would say the same thing, nothing will ever come close.

Big Country by Big Country – first ever gig

JK: Now I had to put Big Country by Big Country on the list because this was my first ever live gig. I went to Dingwalls in Bristol with my teenage boyfriend… and they were amazing live… and I just thought they were wonderful, they really were.

Ken: You’ve lived in many different places, where do you feel home is, where do you feel drawn to?

JK: Well, home now is definitely Scotland. I’ve lived most of my life now in Edinburgh, I’ve lived here longer than I’ve lived anywhere else, but when I was younger I had very itchy feet and I’ve lived in London, Manchester, Paris, Oporto… I’ve moved around a lot. I also, within those cities, kept moving. I just do have very itchy feet. But when I had my daughter, I decided consciously, not that that has to stop because I love travelling and as a family we travel a lot, but I decided that she needed roots so we stayed in Edinburgh, which I now love and really do consider my home and my city… [Travelling] is a useful thing to have done and to have seen life from a lot of different perspectives… and I love exploring.

Court and Spark by Joni Mitchell – on inspiring her latest book

JK: Before I began writing Troubled Blood… I looked up all the albums that came out in 1974 because the whodunnit… concerns a women who vanished in 1974 and I wanted to peg her disappearance to an album that she would have loved and I saw that Court and Spark… had come out then and I thought that’s perfect, perfect for this character. So then I began listening to it and listening to it and listening to it and then I loved it so much I now literally own everything that Joni Mitchell has ever brought out and I can now honestly call myself a mad Joni Mitchell fan. It was an odd way to discover all her other work, but I think she’s just untouchable, and as a lyricist I think there’s no one better. My husband last Christmas bought me a book of all her lyrics and it can be read like fine poetry. She’s absolutely extraordinary… Court and Spark is now one of my very favourite albums.

All Along The Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix  – playing it after a bad break-up and being insecure

Since first hearing this song when I think I was probably 18 or 19, I’ve always had it in my music. I do remember playing it very loudly and drunkenly after one bad break-up and I think the attraction there was the opening line, ‘There must be some way out of here’. But it’s just a great song and he again, what a talent and at the venerable age I have reached now, looking back at artists who died so young is particularly poignant I think. I mean you ache for them because you think what would Jimi Hendrix have achieved if he’d lived to past the age of 27? It’s just extraordinary that people produce work of that quality when they’re so young… I think the thing I admire most is having the confidence because I had the idea for Harry Potter when I was 25 and I’d done a lot of writing before then, but I was extraordinarily insecure and very rarely shared anything that I’d written. I wrote some spoof things for friends to make them laugh, but I never shared anything that I’d written in earnest because I was quite insecure. But of course performers are different and they are driven to share in a way that writers don’t do; obviously we live in a far more introverted life, but… I am drawn to biographies of people like Hendrix because I am just in awe of what they did and what they achieved.

River Song by Dennis Wilson – reminding her of the pandemic during lockdown

This is always going to remind me of the pandemic, this song, because I’ve been listening to his album Pacific [Ocean] Blue which is a bit of an undiscovered gem. I’d had it for a while and listened to it, but it seems to be speaking to me in lockdown and River Song – maybe it resonates because certainly lots of my friends have talked about rediscovering being in the natural world in lockdown – having space and time to appreciate the small things. That’s not to say that any of us wouldn’t change things in a heartbeat, but it has brought a lot of us closer to family. Just having time to enjoy small things has been one small upside of the pandemic

Waitress by First Aid Kit – reminding her of an old friend

I think they’re kind of wonderful. This song in particular reminds me of one of my oldest friends Lynn she and I were in Paris together, we’d never have met otherwise because she’s American. There’s something about our shared nomadic tendencies in this song because it is a song about escape and reinvention. Now I’m very fortunate, I no longer feel the desire to escape or to reinvent myself I am very happy and I have a wonderful family. But I think this is a song about young women feeling displaced and feeling anxious and I think that’s the reason both of us particularly love this track.

On her lack of belief/confidence in writing

You have to push through your lack of belief. Certainly with Potter and with other things I’ve written, I’ve put them down for months at a time. I have got better at believing that I can push through. I remember when I was writing Potter I was writing two other things simultaneously and slowly but surely I realised that Potter was the best of them. And even though I was very insecure I just kept pushing on, pushing on. Actually, the thing that pushed me to complete the book and really to have belief, was having made such a mess of my life generally. In fact I do remember feeling, ‘Look, so you get turned down by every publisher in the country, what’s to lose now?’ Well you know, it was even that I thought it would be a massive success because I certainly didn’t. What I did believe was, I came to a point where I thought, ‘This is a good story and I’m going to put everything into this and see what happens.’ And I’d lost the fear of failing or rejecting that had probably hampered me a little bit early on in my writing.

On the Robert Galbraith books being a desire to that that the writing was as good as she thought it was and it wasn’t her name that was selling?

Yeah, that was definitely in there. I think I had a real yen to go back to the beginning, to go back to what’s important. And to get unvarnished criticism. And so I became Robert and it was a fantastic experience. I can honestly say the rejection letters were fantastic. I know that sounds bizarre and masochistic, but it was satisfying because I was getting unvarnished feedback and I was resilient enough to think, ‘Well that is a fair comment, but no I don’t agree with that comment’ because you’ve got to have faith in what you’re doing but I’ve never been arrogant enough not to believe that I need feedback and a good editor is essential, however successful you are.

Ramble On by Led Zeppelin – growing up

When I was really young, I mean sixteen or seventeen, growing up on the Welsh border, Led Zeppelin was a real thing for me as an adolescent and my oldest friend Sean he loved Zeppelin and it was something we shared. I just love Ramble On.

Ain’t No Sunshine by Bill Withers – on a moving marital moment and lockdown being a special time with her family

JK: Well I think of all the love songs written, this might be my favourite. It’s such a beautiful, simple sentiment, but I have an additional reason for choosing it, which is that it took lockdown for my husband to say to me… I was playing it in the kitchen while cooking something; he walked in, he said,  ‘This always makes me think of you when you’re down in London’ and that was a very moving marital moment so now it has an extra layer of meaning for me. [On lockdown]…. Well, I hope that all listeners have had the happy experience that I’ve had of it being quite a special time. We also have teenage kids and it’s been kind of wonderful to spend that extra time with them.

On being involved with the screen adaptations of her work

JK: Well, interestingly, I’ve been much more involved in the TV show than I have been with the movies. With the TV show, because I’m writing a series about my detectives, Strike and Robin, I have been very involved because I didn’t want the TV show to take them to places that I know they wouldn’t go because I know what’s coming, so that’s been such a happy project. I’ve loved all of it and I think and believe it’s been a very happy experience for everyone involved… a lovely cast and amazing crew, it’s been really satisfying…. It’s always a challenge because certain changes need to be made between novel and screen and I’m always sympathetic to that; different media have different demands, but the tv adaptations of the Galbraith novels I think have been very very faithful.

On fan feedback before it was known she was writing as Robert Galbraith

JK: The first three months I had, when no one knew it was me and I was Robert Galbraith, and Robert started to get letters… and fan feedback which was so genuine and so lovely. I think what people are mostly drawn to are the central relationship between the two detectives and I’m constantly being asked, ‘When are they going to get together?’ So, yeah, I think people will be happy with this book because they certainly do advance in their relationship, though possibly not quite the advance that everyone’s hoping for, but I loved writing that [latest book], it was a joy.

Dream On Dreamer by Brand New Heavies – on dreaming that Potter might be a success

JK: This is such a personal and meaningful track to me. When I was finishing the first Potter book, this track was being played constantly on the radio, and in one of the cafes that I used to write in, it felt as though this song was played every three minutes and I can remember more than once asking myself, ‘Is that who you are, are you the dreamer?’ [for] thinking that this can be published or will be published? But I still had this degree of belief in the story that quelled my doubts and made me keep working, difficult though it was at that time, so it always takes me back to just being on the threshold of the insanity that then ensued, because at that time I could have had no idea what was coming.

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

South Korean music industry at a glance: an outsider perspective

I watched one particular AMV last week. The song used for the video was “I’m afraid” by Korean rock band DAY6. I was pleasantly surprised as someone who values lyrics in song first and foremost. The music itself was great. I’ll listen to their songs again. It’s a nice fit for my music taste. Naturally, YouTube’s algorithm decided that I’m a fan of everything Korean after 1 video and started spamming my recommendations with k-pop songs, documentaries and everything in-between. 

I watched a couple of videos, listened to some songs and discovered fascinating patterns. So, I went down to the comment section. And it was rather interesting experience, should I say? The concept of entertainment industry in South Korea simply begged to be explored more after this. I dug deeper and visited Tumblr k-pop tags and briefly glanced upon Instagram and Twitter. And, oh...

I am a big picture person and I enjoy both studying and creating systems. This one was particularly fun to explore. I discovered a lot of new things for myself. Perhaps, you can discover something new for yourself too or take a step back and look at this from a new angle. 

Disclaimer: it’s impossible not to offend someone on Tumblr, so keep that in mind. That being said, I do NOT intend to insult of offend anyone. It’s just a little research done for fun, because I love research with a purpose. This post is NOT A HATE post. No hate intended for fans, artists or other people involved. It’s meant to be a discussion, nothing more and nothing less. If it sounds like hate, it’s just my sarcastic sense of humour.

Content Warning: I mention suicide, death, depression, rape in a couple of sentences. There’s nothing major or graphic, but it’s there. 

In this long post I decided to share with you my opinion, a so-called outsider perspective, on the world of music entertainment industry in South Korea and people involved in it on different levels. I use the word “outsider” mainly because, that’s exactly what I am in this case, as someone who is in no way involved in k-pop community. I can’t name you a single band or their members. I don’t know any solo artist and can’t neither sing nor name you any song. 

And to be completely honest, I don’t think I will set my foot into k-pop fan-circles ever again after everything I saw. 

Think of this as “In this essay I will...” meme, except there’s an actual essay.

As far as I know, in South Korea “k-pop” refers to all music produced in SK, including solo artists, various bands, singers-songwriters. It doesn’t even have to be pop music. Koreans include in this definition all genres of music. However, around the world “k-pop” means primarily music made by idol groups and bands marketed for children, teenagers and younger people. In this post I use the latter definition, because that’s how most people understand “k-pop” in other countries. Therefore, my statements, opinions and conclusions here would concern only idol music. 

The music industry in South Korea is heavily influenced by culture and traditions of the country, just like all things are. And there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, different backgrounds are what makes people so interesting and unique. However, when combined with consumer mindset, desire to generate profit at any cost and fast-paced nature of modern life these neutral cultural elements could produce something concerning, and it can lead to disastrous consequences. 

1. Idol

These people are called artists, musicians, singers, bands, groups, performers. In South Korea and in Japan, however, people call them Idols or Stars. I’ve also seen Muses, Princes and Queens. Interesting, isn’t it? The terminology used to describe these musicians in South Korea is one of the key elements in this whole entertainment system. You’ll see why.

But who or what is an idol exactly? Let’s take a basic definition from Wikipedia.

“In the practice of religion, a cult image or devotional image is a human-made object that is venerated or worshipped for the deity, person, spirit or daemon ... that it embodies or represents. In several traditions, including the ancient religions of Egypt, Greece and Rome, and modern Hinduism, cult images in a temple may undergo a daily routine of being washed, dressed, and having food left for them. Processions outside the temple on special feast days are often a feature. Religious images cover a wider range of all types of images made with a religious purpose, subject, or connection. In many contexts "cult image" specifically means the most important image in a temple, kept in an inner space, as opposed to what may be many other images decorating the temple.

The term idol is often synonymous with worship cult image. In cultures where idolatry is not viewed negatively, the word idol is not generally seen as pejorative, such as in Indian English.”

Cambridge Dictionary defines idol as follows:

And here’s the definition from Oxford Dictionary: 

This is a centrepiece of this tapestry. Surely, you have noticed by now what these definitions have in common. 

Idol = a cult image of a god, a deity 

By calling these musicians “idols” industry makes society and audience treat them in certain way, namely as gods. What characteristics do gods possess? They are beautiful, talented, funny, confident and graceful, blessed by eternal youth of immortality. Gods have no flaws, they do not bleed, they are above human concerns. They are an embodiment of perfection. They are stars, you could not reach. 

But real people are not like that. They can be sad and angry, insecure. People don’t have perfectly symmetrical faces. They can’t dance in sync without preparation. They can’t sing like angels at any given moment throughout the day.

What happens when idols accidentally reveal their humanity? What happens when people see, that they make mistakes and do stupid things, that they need to train hard to appear graceful on stage? 

I will tell you. And it’s not pretty. But, first, let’s look at other elements of this system. 

2. Y/N and Self-insert fantasy

Aside from the music, K-pop sells the self-insert fantasy to the audience. It’s carefully arranged to appear real, where the cracks are masked and every word is scripted. The reality is so vivid that one doesn’t even have to use imagination all that much, because all scenarios and decorations already exist. Countless interviews for TV and magazines, fan meetings, talk shows, reality shows made sure people are privy to all juicy details of personal lives and opinions of musicians. And also one word - merchandise. Some of that merch made me question my life choices. Some of it is, ah, creepy or has weird vibes. All of this provides plenty of material for people to work with. Fans can effortlessly imagine themselves beside their idols or even in their place. 

In a highly competitive society, where people throw themselves into studying and work since young age, forming deep and lasting connections with others is very hard, sometimes impossible. As a result, people long to have a group of close friends with similar interests, a loving partner who would cherish them endlessly. People want to be rewarded for their backbreaking efforts to succeed by the carefree life of fame and music, everlasting friendships and love. And in a way you can’t really blame them for his. 

Does this dream life sound familiar? We are looking at K-pop bands here. It doesn’t really matter if their members don’t always get along or that they can live in debt, that fame is fickle and adoring fans can tear your self-confidence to shreds. Audience wants the glamour of fantasy and the industry is more than happy to cater to these desires. 

Perhaps, knowing that even for idols this fantasy is sometimes unattainable makes the whole set up feel just a little cruel. 

3. Fans, stans and fandom culture

We’ve already established earlier that idols are gods in the eyes of people and listed traits they must possess. So, what else do gods need to exist? Worshippers. Because a cult is worth nothing without its followers. Gods need a group of people to worship them and spread their beliefs. The role of worshippers is performed by a fans in this case. 

Apparently, there is a running joke that girl groups need to win a general public popularity and boy bands need a big passionate fandom. It seems to be true according to my observations. 

In k-pop fandom people use the word “stan” to state that they like or support particular group. Now, I am sure everyone here knows that in other fandoms, dedicated to movies, shows, books and games there’s an important distinction between being a “fan” and a “stan”. What is it? 

A fan is someone who likes a ship or character, creates and/or consumes fandom content, supports certain ideas, discusses things they enjoyed and disliked, criticises canon. Stans, however, are a different breed. They engage in all typical fandom activities, but their support and enjoyment becomes obsession. Stans believe their favourite characters and ships are immune to criticism, that they are superior no matter what others say. Stans start shipping wars, send anon hate, death threats over fictional characters and hurt real people. Stans are considered toxic fans. And majority of normal civilised people don’t like them and try their best to let stans hang out in their echo chamber by themselves. 

In other fandoms and communities, to be a fan means to love, support and enjoy something, while to stan means to obsess over and hyperfixate on these same things. Words “I stan” rarely mean “I support” for most people, and if they do mean that, it’s only used in a joking manner (”We stan procrastination legend!”, “I stan our miscommunication kings”).

Everywhere else “stan” has only negative connotations, except in k-pop. But what has changed? What’s the difference? Why do international fans scoff at “shipper stans” and then turn around calling themselves “stans of X k-pop group” at the same time? Does it make you wonder? 

And this is another core theme of k-pop, in my opinion. In fandom where stan = obsession = support, you can see interesting patterns. 

Fandom loves their flawless gods. But watching them from afar is not enough for some people, because unlike deities in different religions, these gods live among us. People are very much aware of that. Industry has created a cult and laid the groundwork for worshippers to express their adoration in every way including personal contact. And who wouldn’t want to meet their god? Who wouldn’t want to know more about them or tell them how much you love them? In talk shows and fan meetings there is only so much one can do after all.

People desire to know more, to have more so much that their obsession transforms into concerning stalker tendencies. These crazy individuals follow idols, stalk them on social media, in hotels, research flight numbers, bribe security. Musicians were attacked and poisoned. I strongly suspect there were cases of rape that no one knows about. There is even a special term for these fans - “sasaeng”. 

Is there a definition for stalkers of actors or musicians in western world? No, I’m pretty sure there isn’t. They are just called “invasive/obsessive fans” or “stalkers”.

Also, there are sasaeng memes. Yeah, you heard that right. I enjoy some classy dark humour as much as the next person, but there is a fine line between normal and questionable. 

Back to the topic of stalkers. Do you realise how disturbing that is? Such behaviour is so common that there is a term for it. You create a fandom-cult, encourage people to worship k-pop idols as gods and then act surprised when members of said cult become fanatics and their adoration becomes obsession.

And it’s so easy to step on this slippery road. The system makes it ridiculously easy. Lines begin to blur. How much is too much? Where do you draw the line? 

While sasaeng fans engage in extreme real-life obsession, people online aren’t that far off, to be honest. I’ve seen it all: imagines, headcanons, fanfiction, real-person shipping, reactions. Real person shipping is a controversial topic. Some people support it, others don’t. I suppose I’m among those who don’t get it. I’m not exactly against it, but I find it strange. Mainly because it’s based on assumptions made by fans about personalities and behaviour of real people. 

Assumptions. Dear me! K-pop fandom has this thing with video compilations. I’ve never seen this phenomenon being so widespread in any other community or fandom. Basically people edit together a collection of short clips from talk-shows, interviews, Instagram stories, some YouTube videos, etc and then proceed to analyse every gesture, word, facial expression of idols and provide both audio and on-screen commentary. These videos and many other forms of similar analysis allow people to imagine what kind of personalities idols have, what kind of life do they live. It’s the source material for fanfiction, imagines and headcanons. 

But it’s not real. It’ll never be real. It’s an illusion, an image, a stage persona. They fall in love with a face and made up personality. And I think that when people create this content they can forget this. Fans can develop certain emotional dependence and unhealthy attitudes in the long run. In some YouTube comments even supportive and encouraging words sound whiny and obsessive. And semantics of being a “stan” of certain group or individual doesn’t help. 

4. Industry, companies and liars 

At last we arrive at the most important aspect of music entertainment industry - its creators.

Have you seen “The Road to El Dorado”? It’s one of my all time favourites. It has iconic characters, adult jokes that I didn’t get as a child and iconic soundtrack. I’ll quote “It’s Tough To Be A God” a lot here. 

In South Korea music industry is a factory, the production line to be exact. This kind of set up affects everything in the grand scheme of things. Companies and agencies play the role of training centres and record labels. And there are so many of them that a whole new scamming system developed based around fake idol agencies. It implies that there are people who fall for offers of these agencies and continue to do so. I suspect that victims must pay a fortune upfront before they realise their mistake. Are there any kind of legal protection against such scams? How can people verify the authenticity? Because a well masked scam can exist for a long time before someone discovers it and calls them out on their nonsense. 

As far as I understand legal companies work like this. After high school, which is often focused on performing arts (and private schools can get away with using talents of students for personal gain, which is totally not surprising), young people can audition for an agency and become an idol in training or idol-trainee. And passing audition is hard. But good recommendations can help, connections too. 

During training you don’t get paid. Only a few companies pay aspiring musicians. People can spend years in training and don’t debut. But rent, necessities, clothing and food (not that you need much of it, but more on that later) cost a lot. Where do you get the money to live then? Support from parents, one or two part time jobs at most and bank loans. Surprise! We found an unexpected (just kidding, it’s very obvious) party, who reaps benefits from the system. 

You need skill to be an idol. Natural talent helps too. The more skills you have, the cheaper and faster your training is. To level up your game you attend classes every month offered by your agency, which are not cheap (dance classes range from 400$ to 1000$ per month, sometimes more). There are four main categories in evaluation process: vocals, rapping, dancing and visuals. Idols are multitaskers, to have a chance on stage one must be perfect at everything. And people are ready to invest thousands of dollars into their kids training so that they could have a chance in entertainment industry. South Korea thrives on revenue k-pop industry generates every day.

Let’s pause here for a second and think about what kind of people come to these agencies. The answer is easy. People who have a dream, a desire, a real goal. You don’t wake up one day and decide to become a k-pop idol. Sometimes people get invited by agencies (after prior acting, modelling career or any other form of exposure). These people are usually very young. Some start straight after high school, some after university, but 25 years old is considered a late start. Compare that to western musicians who start singing at any age and still become famous. 

But why this age limit? Because idols are eternally young. So that in public eye musicians are remembered as 20 year old gods. People would listen to their music and imagine a young attractive face. Career in k-pop is short, it lasts 5-7 years, rarely longer than that. It’s even less than modelling or acting can offer. And professional sportsmen retire in their late 30′s. Some play longer, but usually, that’s it.

If you live in Los Angeles and say that you want to be an actor or performer, no one would bat an eye. It’s like saying that you want to be an engineer or accountant. Similarly, in South Korea becoming an k-pop musician is a real career. Because part of the self insert fantasy that the industry sells is the idea that anyone can be an idol. It’s easy after all. Anyone can pass auditions and become a trainee. A trainee with no guarantee of debut. But one should never underestimate the power of idol-dream. After all, idea is the most resilient parasite.   

“My friends started training in kindergarten. They have wanted to become idols since young”

“A lot of young kids get interested in Korean music” 

A 6-year old child sees the performance of k-pop group for the first time on TV. Let’s say it’s a girl. She is enraptured and decides that she will be like that too someday. She grows up, while being part of the fandom, just like all idols are in one way or another and whose fan-obsession transforms into desire to succeed. Her parents spend time and money to find her tutors, to fund dancing and singing classes. Perhaps in high school this girl decides to fix the shape of her eyes and make nose straighter. She trains hard and passes the auditions in her dream agency. And during training this girl faces the reality of behind the scenes life in music industry.

“Why are you crying? I’m not even pushing you”

“How many times have I told you? The rest are doing it perfectly”

“She is dancing like an elementary school student“

“I watched your performance as a spectator who bought a ticket to your concert. I want a refund“

“You make my ears hurt. I don’t want to listen at all”

“Listening to you was tiring”

“I’ll kick you out instead. You won’t debut”

“I thought I was going to die. That’s how determined I was” 

While I do understand that keeping a high quality standards in media industry is important, there are more productive and healthy ways to motivate someone to improve and be more passionate, you know? Constantly insulting people with sadistic glee and putting them down at every opportunity or calling them ugly to their face doesn’t do much. 

Do you think that children know about this? Do they know about soulless teachers and belittling managers? Do they know about friends who are really your competition, so you shouldn’t get attached? Do they know about living in debt? Do they know any of this? No, I don’t think they do. 

Children dream about the stage, about the sea of lights and crowds who chant your names. They want adoring fans and photoshoots. They want to appear on TV and magazine covers. Teenagers want the thrill of performance, they want to share their music and dancing with others. 

“I don’t know how many times I cried alone”

The truth is cruel. But they won’t give up easily even if it means sleeping 4-5 hours and consuming no more than 500 calories per day. Because giving up means that your whole life was a lie. One can’t afford not to be good enough. Giving up means admitting that all efforts and money your family invested into your dream were in vain. It means losing face before your family and friends - a fate worse than death. Imagine living this idol dream and building your whole future around it and then being told that you’ll never debut because of the circumstances outside of your control or something minor, like face shape or 1 kg of weight that your body refuses to lose. It can break you. Especially if you are like 18 or something. 

5. “And who am I to bridle if I'm forced to be an idol If they say that I'm a God, that's what I am”

“I don’t think there’s anything a tough as being a trainee in Korea”

Once you are a trainee at the agency your personal life does not belong to you anymore. You can’t go out without permission of the agency. You phone is taken away. Your diet and weight are monitored. Bad habits are not allowed (no smoking, drinking or drugs). Oh! I think I found the good thing in the system! Unfortunately, it won’t last. Trainees can’t date or meet with family without permission of agency. Dating is very taboo. Even established idols can’t openly date. 

Why is that? Because gods can’t belong to anyone. Their lives are property of the fandom. Because openly dating idols destroy the self-insert fantasy. There was a former idol girl who dated another musician. She was called a whore by her fans, her loving and adoring stans. You might know who I am talking about. Would you call an American actor or singer a prostitute for dating someone?

Trainees sign the contract. And how can a young person straight out of school or university know much about what makes a good contract in entertainment industry or what makes a good contract in general? Even if you do understand the terms fully you would still sign it because if you have come so far, you can’t let your dream slip this easily. There isn’t a choice. Not really. If you want to debut, you will agree to anything.

What about life after debut? You have to pay off your loans. And company takes 60-70% of your group’s earnings. Artists themselves get 30-40% and split it between themselves. K-pop groups have from 5 to 10 members or more than that. Each person gets less than 6%. Idols are not filthy rich. They are not. These earnings are practically nothing compared to the work you have put into this. 

Idols are musicians, who often don’t even write their own songs, music or create choreography. But if public doesn’t like the song and musical number the company created, they blame idols for the failure. Such an amazing logic we see right here. But people say that sharing music is the best part of idol life. But whose music? 

Models on catwalk are not there to demonstrate their physical beauty, they are blank canvas for works of clothing designers. Same with k-pop musicians. They act like puppets in a way, whose faces and voices are used to show audience someone’s music and songs. Some groups do write their own music and lyrics and it’s nice to know that. But those, who don’t are rather unfortunate. It’s a nice tool of psychological control and pressure for an agency. They can hold it over group and use the following rhetoric: “We gave you everything! Why can’t you follow the simple instructions” or “Where would you be without us? It’s not even your music!”

I called k-pop industry a factory. That’s true. Dozens of people become trainees every year. These talented young people are fully prepared to do anything to achieve their goal. They are ready to practice until they collapse, starve themselves and pour themselves into every song. Companies know that. Tell me why would they value their idols as individuals, as people, as human beings if they always have a replacement? Why bother with mental health of their artists if next year they could have a fresh set of people, who are younger and prettier? Why try to improve relationships inside groups if you could fire any member and replace them within a month or two?

In western countries famous bands have different stories. Some were friends since high school, who played in bars and during festivals and then they were noticed by some representative of label company, who offered them a contract. Some groups were formed by like-minded people who bonded and decided to share their music with the world. There are many stories, but ultimately the have one thing in common. Bands in the West often form themselves. These people had time to bond, connect, discover each other, solve some disagreements and learn to work around their differences. 

K-pop groups are formed by their agencies. They are their property in a way. Company selects the best and puts together these total strangers, appoints the leader with marketable face and personality and then expects them to work together like a well-oiled machine. No one has time to bond during training, because other people are you competition, not friends. And then you must learn to work as a team and be best friends on camera for the audience to support the self-insert fantasy. It’s no wonder that k-pop groups don’t get along sometimes. And every member knows that they are replaceable. It doesn’t help in forming connections. Groups can’t just terminate contract and go to work with another agency. I heard it happens sometimes, but it’s not a done thing. Unlike in other countries where bands just sign the deal with a different label and release their music under their name if they don’t like the old conditions. 

“It's tough to be a God But if you get the people's nod Count your blessings, keep them sweet, that's our advice Be a symbol of perfection Be a legend, be a cult Take their praise, take a collection As the multitudes exalt Don a supernatural habit We'd be crazy not to grab it So sign up two new Gods for paradise”

But is it really a paradise?

Idols are expected to act cute, to match personalities created for them by fans or media. They have to act according to the concept of their group. They have to be a symbol of perfection: skinny, single and with a face perfected by surgery. They are allowed to mess up, but only in a cute way. They can break down and cry, but only if it’s “aesthetic”.

Weight issues are a separate topic. Sometimes I wonder whether managers in companies understand how weight loss or human body in general works. To be honest, I think that scales in agencies are rigged. And only managers know that. I know it can be done from personal experience. Some beach resorts tweak their scales and make them show 4-6 kg less than actual weight, so people wouldn’t get upset if they gain some. There is no way a girl as tall as I am (173 cm) could weigh like 47-50 kg and be able to perform complex choreography on stage and sing without being out of breath, visit the gym on a regular basis and generally function as a normal human without fainting every other day.

“I developed a lot of eating disorders”

“I think I consumed about 300 calories today“

“Someone, please, trim the fat off her arms”

If you grow up thinking of idols as gods and then, when you become one of them you think that you must act as one too. But being an easily replaceable god is a heavy burden. The industry, companies and audience want you to be perfect, to always be on your best behaviour. And the thought of not being good enough or divine enough terrifies you, because stans have no mercy (black ocean concept is the most stupid thing ever by the way). This kind of pressure can destroy even the most resilient. And it does. 

Almost everyone knows that situation with mental health in South Korea is not the best to put it lightly. In many ways it’s a cultural thing. But in k-pop mental health issues are treated with even less care. Gods are not supposed to be depressed or suicidal. They are not supposed to have fears or insecurities, can’t be upset or angry. They try hard to be this deity, this image. So, even when they realise they need professional help or even a friend to talk to, they either won’t seek said help or reach out only to be met with silence. Some agencies disapprove or forbid therapy altogether. 

Sometimes fandom becomes self-aware.

“Don’t forget that idols are people too!”

“Your favourite idols are running out of breath just to keep you entertained“

“They are humans, who have feelings!”

Oh, but here’s the thing, my friend. The industry doesn’t want you to think of them as people. Companies and media repeatedly reinforce the idea that they are not people, they are your idols. And strangely enough, the audience supports this idea. People continue to call them idols, developing worshiping tendencies in the process, imitate them, scrutinise their flaws and triumphs. Because, you know, only “real and ordinary humans” can have flaws, not “idols”.

So people who say “they are human too” and people who say “wow, this concert was amazing, but vocals in the beginning were so off-key, I simply can’t” are one and the same.

This thought process would have been funny if it wasn’t so disappointing. But that’s just my observation.

And here’s another thing about sexualisation. I said before how appearances are everything, marketable face and body could drastically improve your chances to succeed. Companies know about this too and concepts and aesthetics of groups are designed accordingly. Girls are dressed in skimpy outfits, their dances are unnecessary suggestive, they wear heavy make up and try to have “mature” vibes. Boys don’t avoid such objectification either: suits, tight pants and dress shirts along with make up and hairstyle to give audience a promise of the things to come. Grown adults are not supposed to lust after 15-17 year olds. You can’t just create a sexy stage persona for teenagers. Do you remember my earlier words about creepy merch? Yeah. All of it neatly plays into the self-insert fantasy and encourages obsessive behaviour. 

This happens in western countries too. In some way that’s understandable. Beautiful and sexy image with a hint of innocence attracts more people and sells, because it caters to one of the base human instincts. But some things make your skin crawl. 

Sponsorships are another topic. Some k-pop bands seek out sponsors to provide financial aid and cover expenses, when earnings are not enough. Sometimes these sponsorships are fine, perfectly civil. But sometimes it’s a prostitution. Girl groups receive money and provide sexual favours to their patrons. It’s a way for the group to gain financial support and even find new opportunities in the industry. Companies can encourage such deals. Let that sink in for a moment. 

6. “Any advice to those who want to become a k-pop idol?”

A lot of former idols and trainees have similar responses to this question. 

“I don’t want to discourage anyone, but think twice”

“You only see the glamorous side, but don’t see all the hard work that goes into it”

“It’s not what you think”

“They think ‘Since I am good looking and can sing and dance really well, maybe I should become an idol?’, but there is much more to it“

“They think it’s something that is easy and will keep their family set for life financially”

And this implies that most people don’t know what kind of lifestyle k-pop stars truly have, despite the amount of information available online about “behind the scenes” proceedings.

7. Moving on

I am a practical person and every decision I make is subjected to scrutiny. And after seeing everything I can't help but wonder whether idols believe it's truly worth it. What keeps the industry alive is the idol-dream, the wilful ignorance of its reality and youthful idealism, the beautiful naïve belief that it'll get better, even if it never does in the end.

Sure no one would ever admit it out loud, because it's one of those things you never say on camera, no matter how sincere you have to be. It's the matter of professionalism after all, and idols have it spades. And also, because admitting this would equal admitting that you spent your best years doing something you both loved and hated, admitting that this was a mistake.

When you grow up in a society where appearances matter the most, where saving face and being polite is more important than staying true to yourself, where individuality is tolerated only to a certain point, it takes a lot of courage to admit that you need a break. I greatly respect those who decided that idol lifestyle is not for them and moved on.

8. Conclusion

To sum up, I hope you enjoyed my small research and this perspective, since you have read it all the way to the end.  

You have noticed that entertainment industry is an intricate system and its every component makes sure nothing changes. Companies have power over idols and audience, fandom has power over idols and their careers, and musicians themselves have fame and their music, but not always the promised fortune or happiness. 

It’s important to understand the big picture to draw your own conclusions and encourage positive and heathy attitudes in fandoms. Being open minded and allowing people to make mistakes and live their lives the way they want to is a part of being a decent person. People don’t owe anything to others. Art is about sharing your thoughts and feelings, promoting ideas and spreading beauty. It’s not always about money. And I think that this is what k-pop lacks as an industry. It turned dreams and human need for self-expression into business. Here everything is turned into a product. Everything idols touch can be sold, sometimes literally. Industry created problems, which can’t be solved anymore, because doing so would topple the system. And I find it tragic. Trapped in an endless chase after perfection creators of k-pop forgot that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. 

If you take a look at comment sections and posts on different platforms, what will you see? What kind of things resonate with audience? What makes people laugh and cry? When people start to appreciate the substance?

“Everyone needs to hear this song in their darkest moments”

“Thank you for your music!”

“They always deliver! These guys can’t make a bad song!”

“It inspired me to write again!”

“Their songs brought me and my sister together once again”

“This is what happens when you let groups write their own music - they make incredible things”

“They really are legends of k-pop! I love that they are not afraid to show their inner strength”

“Stay strong! You rock!”

I believe that the answer is quite simple: when it’s real, sincere. It’s all about the message you choose to send to your audience, because only superficial things cause obsession. When you say that the sparkly façade is all that matters, then that’s the only thing people will ever care about. Your audience will never give a damn about the meaning behind dancing, music or lyrics, if you tell them that performance is more important. No one would praise WHAT k-pop idols sing, instead they would prefer wasting breath to criticize HOW they sing or look or move. 

I dare the k-pop industry to prove people that it’s not just about looks or perfection, or laser shows, or being a branding machine. Prove to your fans that k-pop artists are also passionate people with big dreams and talent, who love every moment of their job, who live and inspire, who are human just like us and whose humanity is real!

Do it, you cowards!

And now, I’m finished. I can hear the raging crowd of k-pop fandom in the distance, which means it’s time to hide. See you some other time! 

[limjaeseven]

Sweet Revenge

Pairing: Seokjin X Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 7,868

Summary: When the boy who taught you to dream becomes the one who shatters them, you decide that the only way to win is to beat him at his own game. Will you succeed, or will you fall for his beautiful eyes again?

[a/n]: This fic was so much fun to write. A huge thank you to the team over at FicsWithLuv for putting this wonderful project together!

Kim Seokjin was the biggest singer in South Korea. His influence reached out all over the world making him one of the most loved music artists of all time. He was a multi millionaire entrepreneur with a restaurant chain of his own and a fasion brand. Everyone loved Kim Seokjin almost as much as they feared him. He had so much power that he could ruin absolutely anybody's career in a matter of seconds.

That last feature about his wasn't an add on to the fame though. He had been capable of doing that for years as he had done with many people in his life. The most important one of those was you.

You were an absolute nobody. No one knew your name other than the old man at the grocery store and the landlord of your dingy apartment in the suburbs of Seoul. You had no friends, no family, no one to love but one man to hate. Kim Seokjin had ruined your life because he felt like it and now here you were, living in a room the size of a closet and having to do odd jobs to earn enough for each meal.

You and Seokjin went way back, all the way to when you were both six year olds, in the town of Gwangjeon. You were an orphan living in the local orphanage and Seokjin was the son of a strawberry farmer. He was part of your play group that met each evening at the local park.

Seokjin was also your first love. With his flawless skin and his beautiful voice, you had been in love with him for as long as you could remember. He was a city boy trapped in the body of a village kid. He was meant to be up there with the big names and the famous people.

You on the other hand were a simple girl with simple dreams. Your biggest goal in life was to have a house of your own and be independent. That's all you wanted from life, but Seokjin felt otherwise. He saw the talent in you and called you to his house often to practice singing together on his second hand piano.

Seokjin's family had no money but they still bought a piano. People often wondered how that happened but the answer was simple. Seokjin had a charm that was absolutely unrefutable. If he wanted something, he got it. It only took half an hour of begging and a few tears for Seokjin's father to borrow some money from a friend and buy him the piano.

You wrote and composed songs for the both of you to sing all through your childhood. Every time you went to divide the parts to sing, Seokjin always picked the best parts, saying that the piano was his and so he should get dibs on picking parts.

Both of your voices melded beautifully as you sang, filling the room with a serene vibe. As time went along, you slowly started falling for the beautiful boy who taught you how to sing. You practiced hard day in and day out, learning to play the instrument flawlessly while singing at the same time.

A few years passed and you joined the theatre group of your school. You were loved by everyone there and were given lead roles in every production. You even helped write and produce musicals for your group that you performed at the local theatre.

Seokjin, who initially had no interest in theatre, joined the group a year after you did and stole your thunder in a matter on minutes. His good looks and charming personality overruled your hardworking, sincere one. That didn't make you hate Seokjin though, you could never hate Seokjin.

It was towards the end of your senior year in highschool when the call for auditions for a large record label was announced. Both of you were extremely excited and practiced even harder, staying up all night at Seokjin's house.

When the auditions rolled by, you were well prepared as a duo with Seokjin. You both cleared the local round and made it to first the district and then the national level audition.

It was the night of the final audition when everything went down hill. The company had announced the both of you as winners and were planning to launch you as a duo when the MC faultered. He was called to the side and when he returned, it was announced that there was only one winner, and that winner was Seokjin.

You were confused but still happy for your best friend. You congratulated him as he accepted the trophy and boquet but he pretend like he didn't know you. Standing there confused, one of the judges placed a hand on your shoulder and looked at you sympathetically.

"That boy was able to covince the judges that you wouldn't make it far and that it would be a better investment to sign just him. I tried to convince them otherwise but I couldn't, I'm sorry" He apologised. You froze as you processed what the man had just said. Seokjin wouldn't do that, he was your best friend.

You approached him to talk about it but he ignored you again and never spoke to you after that day. With the cash price he received, his family moved to the city, leaving you in the town all alone with your friends because Seokjin was the only friend you had ever had.

The only nice thing he did for you was he left his old piano for you. You sat next to it for days and contemplated before finally deciding to play it. You wrote many songs about the pain and anguish that you felt. But the true betreyal you felt was the day you went to the local bar for the first time.

That day happened to be the day Seokjin debuted and his entire album was being played on the radio. You didn't have a radio back in your orphanage and you hadn't touched one since Seokjin so the one at the bar was the first one you'd heard in almost a year.

As the title track started playing, your eyes snapped open. It was a familiar tune and the words also sounded like you had heard them before. Of course you knew the words because it was the first song you had ever written, Seokjin sitting by your side as you penned it down.

It was also the song you both planned to sing together if you two won but that obviously never happened. The credits for the song were mentioned at the end. "Lyrics by Kim Seokjin" The radio jockey said, leaving your heart even more shattered.

You don't remember how much you drank that night. Fortunately some random guy who probably wanted a good fuck agreed to pay for your bill. You ended up sleeping with him but the only thing you remembered from the whole incident was waking up in his bed the morning after. You quietly left and headed back to your orphanage and packed up everything you owned along with the little money you had saved up and left.

You moved to Seoul and had the piano shipped to you. It was well worth it even though it cost you two weeks worth of dinner. You were used to not having three meals a day because your orphanage wasn't well funded and they could barely afford two meals a day for all the kids.

And so, after all of that, here you were, auditioning at companies big and small trying to make it into the industry. You had given up singing the day Seokjin debuted and had turned to rap. It was a genre that spoke to you. It was all about the struggle and the hard work. You became quite famous in the underground rap scene in Seoul but it wasn't a source of stable income.

After finishing your forty fifth audition, you stepped out feeling defeated. As usual, they had immediately recognised you from your first audition and denied you immediately. Apparently Seokjin didn't want you to make it big and had threated all companies from signing you.

Heading home, you prepared for the underground event that you had that day. The crowd cheered loudly as you got on stage. You had prepared a couple of songs but last minute, you decide to swap out the last track. One thing that you were most well know for was your freestyle rap. Instead of rapping the last track as you had planned, you told the organisers to call for Jackson.

In-house beat boxing expert Jackson Wang was a constant at your underground rap society. He was a trainee at a big company and was to debut as an idol but his heart longed for the gritty hip-hop scene and so your society was his escape. You told Jackson to give you a plain beat and you started freestyling.

You poured your heart out about how much you truly hated Seokjin and how he not only ruined your life but also broke your heart. The beauty of rap was that you could do diss tracks but you could also rap about your feeling and your audience would relate to it at some level or the other.

"Sorry for the rather sad ending, I'm not having the greatest of days but thank you so much for being a wonderful audience" You said before dropping your mic on the stage. It was a bit of a signature move for you at this point because you were the undefeated rap battle champion in your society and it was customary to drop the mic everyone you won a battle.

"Y/n, someone's here to talk to you" Mark, the head organiser said. You told him to let the person inside your makeshift green room. The whole setup of your rap scene was rather haphazard due to the lack of funds. You were the only artist with a private room as you were the most prominent of the performers.

"Good evening, I'm Lim Jaebum" The man introduced himself. He was dressed in a black suit with the 'GG' Gucci print all over and the two snakes on the back. Accompanying the outfit, he wore a two silver loops on each ear and fur lined Gucci loafers. Hip-hop culture included a lot of high end brands so you were good at spotting luxury clothing.

"Y/n y/l/n but you probably know me as Rani" You introduced yourself. Rani meant queen in Hindi and you picked the word for a simple reason–you wanted to show the world that you could be a queen without a man. It was your subtle way of hiding the scar that Seokjin left on your heart.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, y/n. I'm going to get to business right away. I have come with a proposal for you. I want you to work for me, as a professional rapper. I have a small studio in Seoul but I'm upgrading to a new building and I'll have a whole team dedicated to you" Jaebum said.

"And why are you picking me?" You asked, suspicious of the too-good-to-be-true offer. You were in no mood to be cheated by someone, you barely had enough money to survive.

"You see, I was close friends with a man named Bang Sihyuk a few years ago and we started a label together. After Kim Seokjin joined the label though, he was able to convince the company that they didn't need me because he wanted to be known as the person who made Seokjin the star he is. So I was fired from my own company. I know that you were friends with Seokjin, I'm the one who apologised to you that day for what happened. I want to use this opportunity to give both of us a second chance" Jaebum said.

You sat in silence for a moment, taking in everything that Jaebum had said. You had blocked out all memories from that fateful day so you weren't surprised you didn't recognize him. Weighing his proposition carefully, you asked him for a few days to come up with your answer and he gave you his card before leaving.

You didn't sleep well that night. Your eyes kept wandering back to Jaebum's card. In the end you caved in and called him, telling him that you had agreed to his offer. He called you to his studio the next day and you agreed.

Over the course of the next couple of months, month, you and Jaebum worked on your first album. He helped you produce some of the music while also working on the concept and the business side of things. You upgraded to a new building that was right next to the BigHit building, which was Seokjin's label.

Finally, six months after you met Jaebum, you debuted under Lunar Music as a solo rapper. You wanted to keep your stage name as Rani and Jaebum agreed. Your album sold out in no time and Korean news was talking about your comeback for days.

Old videos of your audition with Seokjin were brought up now and then but they were quickly blocked by you assume Seokjin or BigHit. People wanted to know about Korea's biggest star's ex best friend and interviewers always asked you about him. You politely told them that you both were acquaintances as you grew up in the same town but grew distant after he won the audition.

People also saw you as someone who was betrayed by the judges of the audition as you were first announced as the winner before they changed the verdict. All of that combined with your soulful and meaningful music led to you becoming the most popular female soloist in Korea over the course of a few months.

As your popularity grew, more and more people wanted to see you collaborate with Seokjin. They shipped you two together and wanted to see you two perform together. Whenever you were asked if you wanted to collaborate with him, you usually tried the best to change the topic and so did Seokjin.

Seokjin was sitting on the sidelines, watching your popularity grow. He was surprised to see you make it big in the industry, not that he doubted your talent but after all that had happened, he didn't expect you to comeback to music.

Avoiding Seokjin was hard, especially as you both became the top male and female artists respectively in Korea. You did your best though, and Jaebum helped a lot too. He made sure your paths crossed as rarely as possible.

So when he called one day and asked you to meet him in his office, you knew the news was not going to be good. You finished practice quickly and finished up whatever work you had before heading to the top floor.

"You need to perform with Seokjin. There is a charity ball coming up and getting called as the main act is a huge deal. It's one of the most exclusive events in the country. I tried negotiating with them and so did BigHit but the organisers are adamant that you two must perform together" Jaebum explained. You sat quietly in front of him for a few minutes before replying.

"I'll do it. If you say it's that important, I'm sure it is and I'm not going to let that idiot ruin it for me. Just make sure that it fits into our schedule. I'm not compromising on my practice for this event. Comeback season is soon approaching, Jaebum" You saw your best friend visibly relax as the words left your lips.

Two days later, you met the organisers at the venue and finalised everything. You ended up hiring a dance studio due to the fight that broke about between Jaebum and Bang Sihyuk on which company's dance studio should be used for practice. After long conversations with Seokjin's producer, you finalised the medley that you were going to perform.

The day of your first practice, you arrived a few minutes early. You set up the music and started doing stretches. You were bending down to touch your toes when you heard someone whistle behind you. Turning around, you saw Seokjin leaning against the door frame with a smug smile on his face.

"You really cleaned up well, didn't you? No one would guess that you were an orphan from a small town in the middle of nowhere" You scoffed as you finished stretching. It felt as if Seokjin had taken it upon himself to irritate you from the very beginning.

"I may have but it looks like you haven't. Apparently fame and money doesn't teach one manners. You're just as crude as all those years ago" Seokjin pushed himself off the door frame and turned the speaker on and listened to the draft track that you two were to perform.

"It needs something intimate. The dance needs to be sexy, almost erotic" Seokjin noted and you didn't want to, but you had to admit. The medley was slow and powerful so a sexy dance would compliment it well.

"If that's a way to get into my pants, you should know it's not going to work" You replied and Seokjin placed a hand on his chest, looking fake scandalised. You started working on the choreography once you were done making jabs at each other.

Within the next two days, the choreography was ready and you both started practicing vocals. The medley had Seokjin singing and you rapping over him and so it needed a lot of practice with both of you present, much to your dismay.

"Something is missing. Couldn't you come up with a good medley at least on your own?" Seokjin complained. You rolled your eyes at him as you replayed the track from the beginning.

"At least I make my own music. Your producer does everything for you. He approved this and so you should just accept it. He made your career" You retorted and Seokjin chuckled.

"I made my own career, love. Pdogg hyung is just helping by giving me music to sing. I would have been famous with just my gorgeous looks" He was seriously getting on your nerves. His comment made you think back to all the nights you and Jaebum spent together putting your first album together. You were so grateful for his help. You couldn't believe that Seokjin had become this spoilt.

The Seokjin you knew was a humble boy with big dreams. He wasn't this overconfident, arrogant man that sat in front of you. You were somewhere glad that you had come all the way here the hard way as it kept you grounded.

Dance practices with him were the worst. It involved his hands on your body a lot and Seokjin didn't pass a single chance to whisper snarky comments in your ears. You were so happy the day of the last rehearsal before the event that you took Jaebum out for drinks even though you hate drinking.

The night of the fundraiser you were getting dressed backstage when Seokjin barged into your room. You screamed in shock as you covered yourself up with a towel nearby. You were in just your underwear, about to slip on your dress for the night.

"Get out!" You shouted at Seokjin but he just stood there, staring at your body. You saw his eyes wander to the scars on your legs and the scratches all over your body. Living on streets did that to you. It was cruel world that you used to live in before Jaebum saved you.

"Are you okay? I heard you scream" Jaebum asked as he stepped into the room and saw what was going on. He quickly stood in front of you, blocking you from Seokjin.

"I thought she asked you to get out" He said in a firm tone and Seokjin finally got the message and left. Jaebum promptly closed the door and stood outside it to make sure no one came in. When you were finally done, you called him inside.

"I'm so sorry that happened. I'll need get you some personal security or something to make sure that doesn't happen again" Jaebum ranted and you placed a finger on his lips. He looked down at you in shock as you smiled at him.

"It's okay, Jaebum. It wasn't your fault. I think the lock on the door isn't working, just get the people here to fix it" You comforted him before calling your makeup artist and hairstylist in to finish your look. Jaebum stood next to you the whole time, ashamed that he had allowed something like this to happen under his watch.

"You are on in five" The stage hand let you know and you grabbed your in ears and mic and stood in your position. Seokjin and you would be entering from opposite sides of the stage and so you were glad you didn't need to see his face before getting on.

The MC announced your performance and the lights dimmed in the auditorium. The soft R&B music flowed from the speakers and you stepped onto the stage. Seokjin started off by humming a bit of the melody before starting his verse. You waited for your cue to start rapping and in the mean time concentrated on getting the choreo right.

You had decided on a bit of an unconventional choreo. Both of you agreed that it needed to be sensual but you decided to make it a little different. You were dressed in a black suit and Seokjin was wearing a flowy white shirt that showed off his collarbones, black leather pants and white high heels. It was a sort of role reversal choreography.

Seokjin sang his lines in a high pitch and used his falsetto liberally while you rapped in a low harsh tone, the two sounds complimenting each other. Convincing him to do this was hard but you really wanted to make an impact. Breaking stereotypes was something you loved to do and after a few conversations, you were able to convince him.

You expect that after your performance, you'd get backlash for the unconventionality but the Korean media loved it and called you the idols of the new decade. This only cause you both to get paired up more by the public. One thing they all noticed was your undeniable chemistry.

Seokjin and you had both started off together and your most loved quality even as aspiring musicians was your chemistry. Being childhood friends made you both inseparable. Some of that was still left somewhere and could be seen on stage when you performed together.

Event after event that came up forced you two to perform together and you just couldn't deny them because of how important they were to your career. Even Jaebum was getting annoyed with how much you had to perform with Seokjin. You comforted him saying that it was your choice.

Since the day of the fundraiser though, Seokjin was a lot nicer to you. He was much more gentle and tried not to pass comments about your time after the audition and before your debut when you were on the streets. You appreciated his effort and tried to be less snarky as well.

Your comeback was coming up and so the performances with Seokjin took a backseat as you were busy promoting your album. Even though you were excited that you were ready to release your new album, something felt missing. You spent your days smiling for the camera and wondering about what was wrong. You finally got fed up when you couldn't come up with an answer and took Jaebum out for drinks to clear your mind.

"I feel like something is missing, Jae. It's been bothering me quite a bit. I can't concentrate on anything" You confessed to him. Jaebum looked confuse but he kept quiet for a moment before something clicked.

"You're missing Seokjin, aren't you?" He teased. Your immediate response was to deny the allegation made against you. You chugged the remainder of your drink before slamming it onto the bar.

"Of course not. Why in the world would I miss that idiot?" Jaebum sighed as he closed his eyes and proceeded to chuckle, leaving you confused. You weren't drunk, a bit tipsy but not drunk. You wondered what Jaebum was laughing at when he spoke.

"I thought I had a chance but it looks like he still had your heart. You can deny it as much as you want but you'll see" He said before getting up and taking you home. You kept quiet during the entire car ride contemplating what Jaebum had said.

"You had a chance? Wait a minute, do you like me, Jae?" You said as he opened the door to your apartment and guided you inside. He smiled at you sheepishly and scratched his neck.

"I do but I didn't try anything because I knew you saw me as an older brother or best friend. Now that I know that you still like Seokjin, I won't do anything I promise. I've learned to cherish you as my best friend and co-worker for so long, I'm okay doing it for the rest of however long we know each other" Jaebum said. At that moment you were incredibly grateful to have a friend like him. He saved you from your old life and gave all of this to you and cared about you so much. You gave him a tight hug before bidding him goodbye.

The more you thought about what Jaebum, the more you realised the truth in what he had said. You had developed a soft spot for Seokjin. Ever since the fundraiser incident and him becoming nicer to you, you saw hints of your old best friend show through the arrogant mask that was Seokjin's superstar personality.

Deep down both you and Jaebum knew that you still loved him. He was your first love after all. He had carved a soft spot for himself in your heart all those years ago. You were still struggling to come to terms with the fact that you still cared about him but it was true and you knew that.

You checked your schedule out of boredom. Album promotions were almost over and you were restless. You wanted to know what was up next. The previous day when you checked the calendar that you and Jaebum shared it only showed comeback performances. You scrolled to the bottom of the page to find a new addition.

It was a show scheduled a week after the end of your promotion period with a little note attached saying 'you can thank me later'. You were confused but when you rechecked the entry you realised it said 'show with Seokjin'. Jaebum truly was the greatest friend you could ever ask for.

It was finally the day of the practice for the upcoming show after you were done with your comeback. You were super excited to finally meet Seokjin again though you tried not to show it. You went to a convenience store on your way to grab some stuff for both of you to eat between practice. You spotted some of Seokjin's favourite candy and bought it. He hated to admit it but he had quite the sweet tooth.

You reached the studio and dropped the food in the corner before heading to the washroom to take your makeup becausese you hated dancing with it on. When you returned, you were about to open the door to the practice room when you noticed that it was ajar. You thought that Seokjin would have come in and would have forgotten to lock the door but then you heard a weird sound coming from inside.

It was the sound of kissing and you peeked through the crack of the open door to see Seokjin passionately kissing a woman that you recognised as his assistant. You stood their in shock as you saw them devour each others face. When you finally came back to your senses, you barged into the room as if nothing had happened.

Seokjin's assistant immediately got off of him and slipped out of the room. You walked over to the bag of food and looked down at it in disgust. Your naïve heart had fallen for him but had forgotten to consider if he even liked you in the first place. Seokjin saw you staring at the bar and walked over.

"This all of my favourite stuff, did you buy it for me?" He asks, his voice laced with surprise. You felt the tears building up in your eyes and willed them to stop. You weren't going to look weak in front of Seokjin.

"No I didn't, they are for Jaebum" You hissed at him before picking up a bottle of water from it and chugging half of it. You moved to the speaker to start playing the music when Seokjin spoke.

"That CEO of yours? He looks like a love sick puppy whenever he's around you. Did you sleep with him to get him to sign you? Because honestly it always feels he cares more about you than your talent" Seokjin gritted, his voice full of venom. You were taken aback for a second before the anger creeped up.

"Dare you say a word against that man. He saved me from my life on the streets where I worked five jobs just to pay rent. Most days I didn't know if I had enough money to buy food. He fixed what you broke. He is a true friend, better than you ever were" You shouted before grabbing your coat and bag and storming out of the studio.

You drove down to Jaebum's house and knocked the door impatiently. When he opened the door he was shocked to see you standing there. He was about to ask you about the practice but you raised your hand, signalling him not to.

Walking into his house, you went to the kitchen and dropped the bag of food on the counter before heading to the fridge. You grabbed two bottles of beer and a bottle of soju. Using the opener on his fridge, you opened the beer and chugged the whole thing in one go. Jaebum stared at you in disbelief as he watched you down the bitter liquid.

You passed the other beer to him before grabbing two shot glasses and pouring soju into both. You held one of his hands open and forced him to clink glasses with you before you downed it. You were about to down a second shot when Jaebum came to his senses and grabbed your hand.

"What's going on?" He asked, worried. You just stared him in the eye for a silent minute before crashing your lips into his. He stood their, shocked as you tried to kiss him. You tried to tongue at his lips but they stayed in a seam. The alcohol was getting to your head. You finally got angry due to a lack of response and pulled yourself away from him.

"Kiss me, Jaebum" You said but he pushed you away. You looked at him, confused and saw the pain in his eyes. Regret instantly filled you as you realised what you were doing. You were trying to take advantage of his crush on you and breaking his heart in the process. You kneeled on the floor as you felt your world crumbling and sobbed harshly, tears rolling down your cheeks.

Jaebum knelt down next to you and pulled you into a tight hug, making you cry harder. You felt like the worst friend in the whole world. Because of you, not only was his reputation being tarnished, you were hurting him too. He let your cry into his shoulder for what felt like hours before guiding you to his bedroom and laying you down on his bed.

"Tell me what happened, y/n" Jaebum said and you finally had the guts to look him in the eyes. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down before speaking.

"I went grocery shopping before practice today thinking I'd surprise Seokjin with his favourite stuff because after what you told me, I realised you were right. But what I didn't expect was to walk in on him making out with his assistant. When I went to leave, he asked if I had to sleep with you to get you to sign me because you like me and I was so angry that he said something like that against you. I'm sorry, Jaebum. Sorry for being the worst friend ever, for letting him talk shit about you and for hurting you. If you don't want to see me ever again, I'll just leave" You said between all the tears.

"Y/n, listen to me. First of all, I don't think he said all that to put me down. He did it to make you feel bad. Honestly I don't give a fuck about what that idiot has to say about me. I am hurt that you tried to get me to kiss you knowing that I'm weak for you but it's okay. I know what you are going through is hard and you need to let it out. I was an idiot and didn't realise that he could be dating someone and told you all that nonsense. You're not the bad friend here, it's me who hurt you. You're the most amazing friend I could have ever asked for, don't forget that" Jaebum comforted you.

You ended up sleeping over at Jaebum's place that night. You had fallen asleep after all of the drama the night before in Jaebum's bed and so he slept in the guest bedroom. When you woke up the next morning, you say a plate and a note on the bedside table. Jaebum had made breakfast for you and apologised for being able to be home to comfort you because he had an urgent meeting.

You went back home and took a long shower. You tried your best not to think about Seokjin and instead thought about to concepts for your next album. It was ironic how you were now back to square one with Seokjin. You didn't want to look at his face for a while but you somewhere deep down you knew that your heart still craved his attention.

The practice sessions became more cold after the whole ordeal. You walked in just in time and walked out the moment you were done. Seokjin was confused at your change in attitude but at least refrained from commenting about it. Once the performance happened, you told Jaebum to not book any shows with him for a while.

The problem was, even though you weren't seeing Seokjin anymore, you still though about him, a lot. The songs you wrote went from harsh and dark to sappy and lovesick. Your songs were all about your friendship with him and the love that you still have for him. You didn't your leave your studio for days trying to write something that wasn't about and failed miserably. In the end Jaebum had to drag you out of there to get you to eat.

Shows during this time also refused to let you perform without Seokjin. BigHit pressured your company to work with him to get them shows as well. Even though both of you were huge acts on your own, the Korean public wanted you in the same way you started, as a duo. All of this made you more frustrated resulting in you not getting enough sleep and not eating properly.

Day five of sitting in your studio without getting out you heard a knock on the door. You groaned expecting it to be Jaebum about to lecture you to get out and get some sunlight. You shouted for him to go away but the knocking continued. Cursing under your breath you pushed away from your table and opened the door.

There stood Seokjin in all his glory looking shocked at your state. You were at least a few kilos skinnier than he last saw you, dark circles prominent under your eyes and your haired mused. Your eyes widened as you realised it wasn't Jaebum who had come to meet you but Seokjin. In your panicked state, you tried to slam the door of your studio shut but Seokjin was able to slip a foot between the door and the frame, keeping it from closing.

"Wait, y/n. I need to talk to you" Seokjin said as you sit back in your chair and out your headphones on. He finds a chair and sits next to you and stares at your face. You tried hard not to look at him but he yanked your earphones away and forced you to look at him.

"Why are you doing this to yourself? Jaebum called me and told me that you hadn't gotten out of your studio in days. Are you planning to starve yourself to death?" He ranted angrily. You scoffed and folded your hands, narrowing your eyes.

"When did the Kim Seokjin start caring about a mere mortal soul like mine?" You muttered and saw Seokjin's eyes soften. It was one of the few times you caught a glimpse of the Seokjin you fell in love with all those years ago, your Jinnie.

"I always cared about you y/n" He said.

"Then why did you ask them to change the result? Why did you let me live on the streets? Why did you leave me alone and chase success? I thought we were a team, Seokjin. I was there for you all along and at the last moment you ditched me and took the spotlight for yourself, leaving me behind for the world" You gritted and Seokjin's eyes watered. He looked down at the ground as wipes his eyes before looking back at you.

"There's a lot from that day that you don't know, y/n?" He stuttered. Seokjin, for the first time since you knew him, look scared. He looked like he was terrified for the truth and of telling you what happened. You gulped but stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue.

"I still remember the first time we met, when we were six. You wore an old blue dress with no shoes and your hair tied in a messy ponytail. You were so captivating even back then. I had heard you sing to the small kids at the orphanage when you were eight and fell in love with your voice. That's why I dragged you to play the piano with me. I was jealous of your talent too and so I picked the nice parts and you still managed to sing better than me. Over the years we were friends I realised I was slowly falling for you.

Fast forward to the auditions and we reached the finals. Just before the results were announced, I went backstage to use the washroom when I overheard a conversation between one of the executive producers and Bang PDnim. Sihyuk found you attractive and said some horrible things about what he wanted to do to you and I was terrified. That's when I barged in and asked them to change the result to just me.

He fell for the argument that you would be bad for the company and that I was the better bet and he changed the results. I wanted to explain things to you but by the time I was done you were gone. I tried contacting you but to no avail. I left the piano back on purpose so that you could use it and one day make it on your own. If anyone had a better chance at being a singer it was you.

Somewhere along the way I started to believe myself that I was better. That's why I didn't think twice before including your song on my album. I was an idiot and asshole for doing that but the fame was getting to me. I still loved you somewhere deep down in my heart and even though I put that song in there for myself, I thought of you every time I heard it.

That's why I was so happy to see you come back with a vengeance. I knew that the whole situation would make you hate me but I knew you were stubborn and would shine brighter than I ever could. But what changed everything was the day I saw all those scars. I knew life would be tough for you once I left but I didn't expect to see all of that. I couldn't help but hate myself for being the one to cause you not only emotional hurt but also physical pain.

It may still not make sense why I cared for you more than me loving your voice but you meant more to me than you might ever know. You accepted me for myself. I was popular cause I got people what they wanted. No one cares about the real Seokjin. But you, you listened, you helped and you smiled. Your smile made my day back then and still does. You carved a space for yourself in my heart and it still exists.

I know I've been the world's worst friend and this is probably the worst way to confess my undying love for you but I don't think there is going to be a better opportunity to explain it all to you. I know it's a lot, so take your time with it. Also Jaebum told be about you walking in on me and Hwasa and how you were mad about it. That girl had been trying to get in my pants for a while and she had the audacity to kiss me. I fired her that day itself. It wasn't just you who had been waiting for practice that day, y/n" Seokjin said.

He placed a bag on your table before giving you a soft smile and stepping out of the studio. You sat there, overwhelmed by everything Seokjin had just said. You opened the bag to distract yourself and inside was some jajangmyeon, which happened to be your favourite along with a small note that read 'call me'. You were absolutely starving and hastily devoured the food.

A couple of hours later Jaebum came in to check on you. Seeing the empty containers of food and you sprawled over the couch in the studio made him smile. He walked over to you and you looked up at him, your eyes watering. He immediately sensed something was wrong and crouched down next to you.

"Should I have not called Seokjin? Do you need me to beat his ass up?" Jaebum asked but you shook your head. You placed a finger on your lips, asking him for a little bit of silence and he complied but didn't leave your side. He instead pet your head gently, just how you liked it when you were upset.

"He said a lot of things that I'm mad he didn't tell me earlier. He saved me and I hated him for it. I still love him and I want to start over but I'm scared to lose him again, Jae. What should I do?" You questioned. Jaebum leaned over and picked up the note he had seen on your table and stuck the post-it to his forehead before cupping his hands under his chin in a flower-cup motion. Jaebum hated doing ageyo but he would do anything for you.

The words 'call me' lingered in the back of your mind but it took you two days to finally have the courage to call him. You waited impatiently for him to pick up the call and he didn't disappoint you. He picked up the call after the second ring.

"Hey" He said and a small smile grew on your face as you heard the nervousness in his voice that mirrored your own. You took a deep breath before replying.

"Hey, can we meet?" You asked and Seokjin immediately agreed, asking you to meet him at a local café that evening.

You arrived ten minutes early as the nerves were getting to you and you just couldn't sit at home. You asked for a glass of water as you rehearsed what you were going to say to him. You totally did not call Jaebum at the last moment and recite your confession to him. You were a little guilty for doing that but Jaebum assured you that it was okay.

When Seokjin finally entered the café, he found you sitting at the back, scrolling through your phone. You hadn't noticed him to he took the opportunity to order some drinks and proceeded to sit in front of you at your table. You looked up at him from your phone and smiled nervously as he sat down.

"Do you want to order some-" You were cut off by the waitress bringing an iced americano and a peach ice tea to the table. He remembered your favourite drink and ordered it for you. You were a little surprised but you just smiled as you sipped your tea.

"So, you wanted to talk?" Seokjin prompted. He knew you well to the point where he remembered how you were really bad at initiating conversations about things you didn't really want to talk about. Your cheeks warmed as you processed his gesture and nodded.

"I like you too, Seokjin. And I want to give us a try if you want to" You mumbled. There was a beat of silence before a mix of joy and disbelief bloomed on Seokjin's face. He looked in your eyes for even a trace of humour but found none.

"Are you serious?" He asked, absolutely dumbfounded at your confession. He had completely prepared himself, thinking that you were going to tell him that you never wanted to see his face again. You just smiled and nodded.

"There are a lot of things we need to catch up on and I still haven't forgiven you for everything but I like you, a lot, and I really want to give us a shot" You said, now more confident.

Seokjin could barely process what was going on and so he got up and pulled you into a tight hug, muttering promises about being better. When he finally let go of you, he saw a genuine smile on your face that he hadn't seen in years. He dragged you out of the café before cupping your cheeks with both his hands and pulling you towards him.

The kiss was soft and chaste but the electricity flowing through your veins was undeniable. You pulled away before intertwining your fingers with his and placing a kiss on the back of his hand. You had found love once again and somehow it was still the same as all those years back, broken yet perfect.

[tabloidtoc]

Entertainment Weekly, February

Cover 1 of 2: Daniel Kaluuya of Judas and the Black Messiah 

Page 1: Contents, second cover featuring LaKeith Stanfield

Page 2: EW insider 

Page 3: Sound Bites 

Page 8: The Must List -- Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci on Supernova 

Page 10: Keegan-Michael Key on The History of Sketch Comedy 

Page 11: All American, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation 

Page 12: Lana Condor on To All the Boys: Always and Forever 

Page 15: Fake Accounts by Lauren Oyler, Jeopardy! 

Page 16: Nancy Johnson on her debut novel The Kindest Lie 

Page 17: The Black Church: This Is Our Story This Is Our Song, Foo Fighters -- Medicine at Midnight 

Page 18: My Must List -- Lionel Richie 

Page 21: First Take -- Zack Snyder and Dave Bautista on Army of the Dead 

Page 23: Dennis Quaid on Reagan 

Page 24: Cover Story -- Moment of Truth -- two of the most talented stars of their generation Daniel Kaluuya and LaKeith Stanfield reach stunning new heights in the epic and Oscar-bound Judas and the Black Messiah 

Page 28: A King’s Journey -- how director Shaka King went from oddball comedy to the powerhouse drama of Judas and the Black Messiah 

Page 35: The Happy List -- for a sweeter 2021 come enjoy our catalog of tiny pleasures 

Page 46: Mad Love -- how Zendaya and John David Washington quarantined together to make the red-hot romance Malcolm and Marie while Hollywood was on lockdown 

Page 50: Breaking Big -- 10 rising stars poised to make waves in 2021 

Page 51: Paul Mescal 

Page 52: Taylour Paige 

Page 53: Mateo Askaripour, Brandee Evans 

Page 54: Haskiri Velazquez, Omar Apollo 

Page 55: Simu Liu 

Page 56: Emma Corrin 

Page 57: Jasmine Cephas Jones, Reid Miller 

Page 58: The Missing Star Spangled Girl -- on the cusp of breaking out in Hollywood the 27-year-old dancer, model and actress Jean Elizabeth Spangler vanished October 7, 1949 leaving behind a purse and a mysterious note and a young daughter; inside the chilling still-open case 

Page 64: Name Calling for Fun and Profit -- after launching in 2017 as a Hollywood-adjacent curiosity Cameo the site that lets fans buy personalized video messages from celebrities of all strata is booming in the pandemic era 

Page 68: News + Reviews -- with the release of 12 never-before-collected essays in Let Me Tell You What I Mean Joan Didion reminds readers that she’s been right about everything all along 

Page 72: Movies -- Here Comes the Sun -- the 2021 Sundance Film Festival is going virtual but these movies prove it’s as exciting as ever and will kick off Hollywood’s comeback year 

Page 73: Performance Spotlight -- Ruth Negga -- in the period piece Passing the Oscar-nominated actress delivers her most devastating turn yet 

Page 74: Yuh-Jung Youn -- the supporting star who stole the festival breakout Minari may be new to most American audiences but she’s ready for her close-up 

Page 75: 3 Questions with Viggo Mortensen

Page 76: Role Call -- Regina Hall -- the Hollywood chameleon’s eclectic career reaches wild new heights in the bonkers crime comedy Breaking News in Yuba County; Hall looks back on the parts that brought her here 

Page 77: My Dark Vanessa -- she’s already made her mark as an ingenue and now with two buzzy new indies Vanessa Kirby seems prepared to take the lead 

Page 80: Parental Guidance -- welcome to your new crib sheet on the best entertainment for kids from toddlers to tweens -- Q&A with Alyson Hannigan -- in Flora & Ulysses Alyson plays a romance novelist whose daughter teams up with a superhero squirrel when life starts to get nutty 

Page 82: TV -- Batwoman Beyond -- as Batwoman’s new leading lady Javicia Leslie brings a fresh attitude to Gotham 

Page 84: The Great North 

Page 85: Big Trouble Ahead -- after its shocking fall premiere and a recent escape new hit series Big Sky ramps up, Q+A with Jared Padalecki -- after 15 years of playing Supernatural’s Sam Winchester, Jared is donning a new hat for Walker 

Page 86: Drama Queen -- Queen Latifah balances the scales of justice on the reboot of The Equalizer 

Page 87: New Friends on the Block -- nothing fuels all the feels like authentic female friendship on TV especially for residents of Firefly Lane 

Page 88: Ted Danson on The Mayor 

Page 89: What to Watch 

Page 96: Music -- Q+A with Brittany Howard -- the rocker is no stranger to Grammy glory but the nominations for Jaime, Howard’s solo album named after her late sister, represent something new 

Page 97: 3 Things to Know About Chika -- the Alabama rapper and Best New Artist nominee on her city and her music and her competition 

Page 99: Hear Jhene Heal -- the R&B singer’s therapeutic approach to her 2020 album Chilombo netted multiple Grammy nods and a new sense of self 

Page 101: Q&A with Gwen Stefani -- The Voice coach and No Doubt frontwoman’s new single and music video Let Me Reintroduce Myself is a celebration of all things Gwen 

Page 102: Barry Gibb goes country -- on Greenfields the legendary Bee Gee recruited Dolly Parton and Keith Urban and more for twangy takes on his trio’s disco classics; saddle up as Gibb details his favorite moments 

Page 104: Books -- 15 books we can’t wait to read in 2021 -- literary heavyweights, YA blockbusters and a flurry of family sagas -- this year is going to be a page-turner 

Page 105: Author Spotlight -- Firekeeper’s Daughter by Angeline Boulley, Critic’s Pick -- How the One-Armed Sister Sweeps Her House by Cherie Jones 

Page 106: Books of My Life -- Samantha Power -- the U.N. Ambassador under President Obama publishes her lauded memoir The Education of an Idealist 

Page 107: Working Guy -- in his biography of the late great Mike Nichols journalist Mark Harris explores the life of the decorated director who seduced us all 

Page 108: Come As You Are -- acclaimed novelists R.O. Kwon and Garth Greenwell coeditors of the new erotic anthology Kink discuss sensuality, shame, and the changing face of desire in literature 

Page 112: The Bullseye

[rockislandadultreads]

YA Fantasy (for adults!)

The Kingdom of Back by Marie Lu

Born with a gift for music, Nannerl Mozart has just one wish: to be remembered forever. But even as she delights audiences with her masterful playing, she has little hope she'll ever become the acclaimed composer she longs to be. She is a young woman in eighteenth-century Europe, and that means composing is forbidden to her. She will perform only until she reaches a marriageable age—her tyrannical father has made that much clear. As Nannerl's hope grows dimmer with each passing year, the talents of her beloved younger brother, Wolfgang, only seem to shine brighter. His brilliance begins to eclipse her own, until one day a mysterious stranger from a magical land appears with an irresistible offer. He has the power to make her wish come true—but his help may cost her everything.

The Queen's Assassin by Melissa de la Cruz

Caledon Holt is the Kingdom of Renovia's deadliest weapon. No one alive can best him in brawn or brains, which is why he's the Guild's most dangerous member and the Queen's one and only assassin. He's also bound to the Queen by an impossible vow--to find the missing Deian Scrolls, the fount of all magical history and knowledge, stolen years ago by a nefarious sect called the Aphrasians. Shadow has been training all her life to follow in the footsteps of her mother and aunts--to become skilled enough to join the ranks of the Guild. Though magic has been forbidden since the Aphrasian uprising, Shadow has been learning to control her powers in secret, hoping that one day she'll become an assassin as feared and revered as Caledon Holt. When a surprise attack brings Shadow and Cal together, they're forced to team up as assassin and apprentice to hunt down a new sinister threat to Renovia. But as Cal and Shadow grow closer, they'll uncover a shocking web of lies and secrets that may destroy everything they hold dear. With war on the horizon and true love at risk, they'll stop at nothing to protect each other and their kingdom in this stunning first novel in the Queen's Secret series.

The Circus Rose by Betsy Cornwell

Twins Rosie and Ivory have grown up at their ringmaster mother’s knee, and after years on the road, they’re returning to Port End, the closest place to home they know. Yet something has changed in the bustling city: fundamentalist flyers paper the walls and preachers fill the squares, warning of shadows falling over the land. The circus prepares a triumphant homecoming show, full of lights and spectacle that could chase away even the darkest shadow. But during Rosie’s tightrope act, disaster strikes. In this lush, sensuous novel interwoven with themes of social justice and found family, it’s up to Ivory and her magician love—with the help of a dancing bear—to track down an evil priest and save their circus family before it’s too late.

Dark and Deepest Red by Anna-Marie McLemore

Summer, 1518. A strange sickness sweeps through Strasbourg: women dance in the streets, some until they fall down dead. As rumors of witchcraft spread, suspicion turns toward Lavinia and her family, and Lavinia may have to do the unimaginable to save herself and everyone she loves. Five centuries later, a pair of red shoes seal to Rosella Oliva’s feet, making her dance uncontrollably. They draw her toward a boy who knows the dancing fever’s history better than anyone: Emil, whose family was blamed for the fever five hundred years ago. But there’s more to what happened in 1518 than even Emil knows, and discovering the truth may decide whether Rosella survives the red shoes. With McLemore's signature lush prose, Dark and Deepest Red pairs the forbidding magic of a fairy tale with a modern story of passion and betrayal.

A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A. Brown

For Malik, the Solstasia festival is a chance to escape his war-stricken home and start a new life with his sisters in the prosperous desert city of Ziran. But when a vengeful spirit abducts Malik’s younger sister, Nadia, as payment into the city, Malik strikes a fatal deal—kill Karina, Crown Princess of Ziran, for Nadia’s freedom. But Karina has deadly aspirations of her own. Her mother, the Sultana, has been assassinated; her court threatens mutiny; and Solstasia looms like a knife over her neck. Grief-stricken, Karina decides to resurrect her mother through ancient magic . . . requiring the beating heart of a king. And she knows just how to obtain one: by offering her hand in marriage to the victor of the Solstasia competition. When Malik rigs his way into the contest, they are set on a course to destroy each other. But as attraction flares between them and ancient evils stir, will they be able to see their tasks to the death? The first in an fantasy duology inspired by West African folklore in which a grieving crown princess and a desperate refugee find themselves on a collision course to murder each other despite their growing attraction.

A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Fall in love, break the curse. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year, Prince Rhen, the heir of Emberfall, thought he could be saved easily if a girl fell for him. But that was before he turned into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. Before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope. Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, Harper learned to be tough enough to survive. When she tries to save a stranger on the streets of Washington, DC, she's pulled into a magical world. Break the curse, save the kingdom. Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. A prince? A curse? A monster? As she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

[malcolmfm]

               *     𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨    𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥    𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞    ,   i   hope   u   are   all   doing   fabulous   .   my   name   is    𝐤𝐨𝐝𝐲    ,   &   i   can’t   even   begin   to   explain   how    excited    i   am   to   be   a   part   of   this   group   .   i   come   from   the    𝐩𝐬𝐭   𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐳𝐨𝐧𝐞    ,   my   pronouns   being    𝐬𝐡𝐞   /   𝐡𝐞𝐫    .   i   am   so   happy   &   so   fortunate   to   be   able   to   write   with   you   all   ,   as   all   your   characters   are   just    amazing    .   if   any   of   u   are   interested   in   plotting   &   becoming   the   best   of   friends   ,   please   give   this   post   a    🖤   to   consent   to   an    endless    love    spam   in   ur   ims   .

new   york’s   very   own    malcolm    ‘   mac   ’    dunn    was   spotted   on   broadway   street   in    converse    chuck    taylor’s    .   your   resemblance   to    joe    keery    is   unreal   .   according   to   tmz   ,   you   just   had   your    twenty   -   fourth    birthday   bash   .   while   living   in   nyc   ,   you’ve   been   labeled   as   being    contumacious    ,   but   also    jocular    .   i   guess   being   a    taurus    explains   that   .   three   things   that   would   paint   a   better   picture   of   you   would   be    comic   filled   bookshelves    ,    roughed   up   sneakers    ,    and    laughter   floating   through   a   room    .

tw    ﹕    depression    ,    suicide   attempt    .

*          ����𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥          .

𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥   𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞   ﹕   malcolm   ronan   dunn   . 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞   ﹕   mac   ,   mac   daddy   (   no   one   calls   him   this   ,   he   calls   himself   this   🙃   )   ,   mac   attack   . 𝐚𝐠𝐞   ﹕   twenty   -   four   . 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞   𝐨𝐟   𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡   ﹕   may   thirteenth   . 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫   /   𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬   ﹕   cismale    /    he   ﹕   him   . 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥   𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧   ﹕   heterosexual   . ​𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜   𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧   ﹕   heteromantic   . 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲   ﹕   american   . 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲   ﹕   irish   ,   english   ,   scottish   . 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫   ﹕   malcolm   first   began   his   career   as   an    actor    during   his   teenage   years   with    michael   cera’s    filmography   .   he   has   starred   in   films   that   include    juno    ,  �� superbad    ,    nick   &   norah’s   infinite   playlist    ,    &    scott   pilgrim   vs  .   the   world    .   since   he   had   the   opportunity   to   help   write   &   produce   songs   for   the   spvtw   soundtrack   ,   this   eventually   led   to   his   transition   from   acting   to   becoming   a    musician    ,    claiming    twenty   one   pilots    as   his   sound   .   currently   he   has   only   released   the   album    blurryface    ,   &   has   recently   concluded   the   blurryface   tour   .   presently   ,   he   is   now   writing   &   producing   songs   for   his   upcoming   album   ,    trench    . 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫   𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨   ﹕   chandler   bing    friends    ,   ron   weasley    harry   potter    ,    star   -   lord    guardians   of   the   galaxy    ,    steven   hyde   &   michael   kelso   hybrid    that   70s   show    ,   scott   pilgrim    scott   pilgrim   vs  .   the   world    ,   jim   halpert    the   office    ,   cody   ko    youtube    ,   beast   boy    teen   titans    ,   steve   harrington    stranger   things    .

*          𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧          .

               malcolm   ronan   dunn    is   the   first   born   of   derrick   &   vivian   dunn   ,   that   alone   creating   a   set   sum   of    high    expectations   for   the   male   descendent   .   being   the   genesis   of   what   would   eventually   be   a   very   famed    family   ,   it   entails   great    pressure    of   being   the   eldest   .   being   the   offspring   of   a   prominent   actor   during   the   80s   turned   car   mogul   &   one   of   the   most   exceptional   astrophysicists   of   this   decade   ,   it   was   said   that   malcolm   was    destined    to   be   an   extension   of   their   talents   .   his   childhood   was   as   ordinary   as   any   other   ,   attending   school   &   having   juvenile   interests   . .   though   one   prominent   influence   in   his   life   was    music    .   ever   since   he   was   a   baby   ,   a   set   of   hazel   hues   twinkled   &   cheeks   were   perked   by   harmonies   that   would   liven   up   a   room   .   by   the   time   he   was   eight   years   old   ,   he   had   already   been   familiar   with   all   of   queen’s   discography   &   can   partake   in   a   discussion   of   how   music   truly    defines    our   society   .  

​               advancing    several    years   ahead   ,   malcolm   reaching   the   ripe   age   of   sixteen   ,   it   was   then   he   set   his   sights   on   becoming   an   actor   .   by   the   time   he   had   made   this   realization   ,   he   had   already   been   writing   music   of   his   own   &   had   become   what   many   would   consider   an   expert    drummist    .   however   ,   music   was   subsided   as   a   hobby   for   the   time   being   ,   as   his   parents   insisted   that   is   what   it   was   meant   to   be   ,   just   a   hobby   .   his   parents   ,   his   father   in   particular   ,   was   very    ecstatic   to   hear   that   his   son’s   interests   in   becoming   an   actor   .   with   the   vast   amount   of   connections   he   accumulated   during   his   cinematic   years   ,   it   had   only   took   a    single    phone   call   for   malcolm   to   star   in   his   very   first   film   .   a   quality   in   which   almost   anyone   who   had   known   mac   is   how   effortlessly    comical    the   boy   was   ,   &   could   light   up   just   about   any   crowd   with   vivacious   laughter   .   the   boy’s   innately   jocular   mannerisms   is   what   landed   him   in   his   first   role   as    evan    in   the   seth   rogan   production   of    superbad   .   this   film   would   end   up   being   one   of   malcolm’s   most   prominent   roles   in   his   acting   career   ,   alongside   scott   pilgrim   .   following   his   comedic   role   ,   he   starred   as    paulie   bleeker    in   the   romantic   drama    juno    ,   which   would   be   his   first   role   in   the   romantic   genre   .   the   project   that   quickly   followed   afterward   was    nick   &   norah’s   infinite   playlist    ,   leading   as    nick    in   a   romance   accompanied   with   comedy   .   after   receiving   roles   back   to   back   ,   his   name   began   to   rise   up   in   day  -  to  -  day   conversations   ,   especially   amongst   younger   audiences   .   he   accumulated   a   vast   &   very   dedicated   following   ,   all   expressing   their   adoration   for   the   boy   &   his   charmingly    dorkish    demeanor   .   once   he   hit   the   age   of   eighteen   ,   it   was   then   when   he   landed   on   what   would   be   his   final   role   in   a   film   ,   for   at   least   awhile   .   the   media   was   in   a   frenzy   once   it   was   revealed   that   malcolm   would   be   portraying    scott   pilgrim    in   the   upcoming   picture   ,    scott   pilgrim   vs   .   the   world    ,   based   on   the   graphic   novel   series   by   bryan   lee   o'malley   .   malcolm   would   consider   this   role   to   be   his   personal   favorite   ,   as   he   was   already   a   devout   fan   of   the   graphic   novels   to   begin   with   ,   so   being   able   to   portray   one   of   his   most   favorite   fictional   characters   .  .   a    dream    ,   he’d   say   .   not   only   was   the   spvtw   production   his   favorite   because   of   his   role   ,   but   because   of   the   heavy   influence   music   had   in   the   film   .   he   was   fortunate   enough   to   be   able   to   write   &   perform   on   the   soundtrack   ,   along   the   side   of   the   best   song   writers   in   the   industry   .   this   is   what   ultimately   led   to   his   decision   to   transition   from   acting   to   becoming   a    musician    ,   &   his   involvement   in   this   film   is   what   made   many   people   realize   that   malcolm   was   quite   the   virtuoso   .

tw   ﹕   depression    ,    suicide    attempt    .

               when   malcolm   had   settled   on   becoming   a    musician    ,   his   mental   state   began   to   gradually    decline    once   he   revealed   this   ambition   to   his   parents   .   to   say   the   least   ,   they   were   not   very   supportive   of   his   shift   in   careers   ,   especially   on   what   career   he   was   shifting   onto   .   considering   malcolm   did   not   have   much   going   for   him    academically    ,   this   alone   had   concerned   his   parents   .   being   an   actor   was   what   they   considered   to   be    stability    for   him   ,   so   to   be   presented   with   this   news   was   dismaying   on   their   behalf   .   the   pair   genuinely   had   exhibited   zero   faith   in   their   son   becoming   a   successful   musician   ,   &   had   forewarned   him   that   there   were    thousands    of   talented   musicians   ,   essentially   raising   the   question   ﹕    ❛    what   makes   you   think   you   will   be    good   enough    to   make   a   living   out   of   this   ?    ❜    .   malcolm   felt   dispirited   by   his   parents   lack   of   encouragement   ,   as   well   as   faith   in   himself   ,   to   pursue   the    one    thing   he   has   been   passionate   about   since   the   days   of   his   youth   .   eventually   ,   the   voices   in   his   head   began   to   deter   him   from   fulfilling   his   passion   ,   &   convincing   him   that   he   has   amounted   to   a    failure    .   among   other   contributing   factors   ,   malcolm   eventually   slipped   into   a   deep    depression    for   several   months   .  his   days   would   be   spent   lying   in   bed   ,   in   a   state   of   restlessness   ,   often   skipping   meals   for   the   fact   that   he   genuinely   did   not   feel   like   nourishing   his   body   .   the   mental   state   he   was   exhibiting   was   so    detrimental    ,   that   his   own   life   began   to   be   at    risk   .   there   would   be   days   where   he   would   wonder   what   would   come   from   ingesting   more   pills   than   what   he   was    prescribed    ,   or   having   his   head   remain   sunk   beneath   his   bath   water   for   more   than   a   few   minutes   .   on   one   evening   in   particular   ,   he   decided   to   test   his   theory   ,   as   he   had   been   sprawled   upon   the   tiles   of   his   bathroom   ,   a   capsule   of   his   medication   clutched   within   his   palm   ,   ebony   hues   ascended   onto   the   ceiling   in   what   he   believed   would   be   his    final    moments   .   he   was   in   too    deep    . .   convinced   that   there   was   no   light   at   the   end   of   this   tunnel   .   though   fortunately   enough   ,   his   younger   sister   ,   discovered   him   at   just   the   right   time   &   immediately   demanded   that   he   receives   help   .

end    trigger    warning    .

               after   several   months   of    therapy    ,   the  virtuoso   had   begun   feeling   tremendously   better   ,   his   mental   wounds   somewhat   healed   though   not   entirely   .   during   his   dark   times   ,   he   managed   to   get   some   writing   done   ,  the   various   pieces   which   would   eventually   be   released  as   his   first   official   album  ,   titled    blurryface    .   by   the   time   he   had   turned   twenty   two   ,   the   album   made   its   debut   &   became   one   of   the   most    streamed    albums   of   the   year   ,   &   won   a   grammy   for    top   rock   album   of   the   year    ,   along   with   many   other   achievements   .   his   most   popular   tracks   off   the   album   include    stressed   out    ,    ride  ,    tear   in   my   heart    ,   &    we   don’t   believe   what’s   on   tv    .   his   second   album   ,    trench    ,   is   currently   in   production   &   will   be   releasing   singles   when   the   time   calls   for   it   .   while   his   depression   hasn’t   been   entirely   rid   of   ,   he   a   majority   of   the   time   is    content   with   the   way   life   is   going   .

*          𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲          .

​               as   mentioned   before   ,   he   is   the   most    comical    guy   ,   &   often   uses   humor   as   a    coping    mechanism   .   you   are   likely   to   hear   him   crack   a   joke   at   inappropriate   times   ,   &   find   him   laughing   in   scenarios   that   make   him   uncomfortable   .   he   often   gets   himself   into   trouble   for   this   ,   naturally   .   malcolm   has   a   very    robin  williams  -  esque    to   him   ,   where   making   others   laugh   &   feel   happy   to   be   one   of   his   favorite   past   times   .   however   ,   you   would   never   suspect   that   someone   so    animated    would   be   suffering   from   depression   .   admittedly   ,   he   has   improved   since   the   evening   his   sister   discovered   him   ,   but   of   course   ,   it    still    continues   to    creep    its   way   back   into   his   mental   .   he   doesn’t   like   to   talk   about   what   had   happened   ,  &   it   was   hidden   from   the   press   entirely   so   he   wouldn’t   be   pitied   or   constantly   reminded   of   that   night   .   he   tends   to    avoid    the   topic   of   it   altogether   .                the   man   is   one   of   the   most    loyal    people   you   could   ever   meet   ,   &   would   do   absolutely    anything    for   those   he   loves   .   his   sister   ,   markelle   ,   being   a   prime   example   of   this   .   he   loves   his   family   more   than   he   loves   himself   ,   &   prioritizes   their   well   being   before   his   own   .   he   often   kept   his   depression    disclosed    from   them   ,   as   well   as   his   friends   ,   for   he   genuinely   did   not   want   anyone   to   be   concerned   ,   in   spite   of   having   a    reason    to   be   .   he   is   always   willing   to   be   the    hero    in   someone   else’s   story   ,   but   never   his   own   ,   which   is   probably   the   most   heartbreaking   yet    beautiful    aspect   about   him   .   he   would   sacrifice   his   own   life   if   it   meant   that   the   people   who   he   cared   about   would   be   safe   ,   &   exhibits    bravery    in   any   conflict   he   finds   himself   in   .   to   those   who   don’t   know   him   personally   ,   or   even   people   that   do   ,   they   would   simply   describe   him   as   a    happy   go   lucky   guy    who   is   constantly   seeking   an   adventure   .

               malcolm   is   the   kind   to    downplay    his   achievements   ,   exhibiting   a    humble    attribute   ,   &   is   truthfully   touched   by   anyone   who   enjoys   his   work   .   having   been   told   that   his   work   always   lifts   someone’s   spirits   when   they   are   down   ,   or   his   films   being   involved   in   the   most    memorable    moments   in   a   person’s   life   . .   that   shit   means   the   absolute    world    to   him   ,   &   gives   him   a   feeling   that   he   would   want   to   live   on   for   a   lifetime   .   the   man   loves   music   ,   &   incorporates   music   in   his   life   on   the   daily   ,   for   it   has   the    biggest    influence   on   him   .   his   stage   presence   is   truly   fucking    awesome   ,   for   you   are   truly   getting   your   money’s   worth   by   attending   a   concert   of   his   .   he   feels   alive   &   a   rush   when   he   is   standing   before    thousands    of   people   ,   &   his   faith   in   the   world   is   always    restored    when   he   hears   the   crowd   sing   in   unison   as   he   performs   .   there   is   nothing   he   loves   more   than   music   ,   &   music   is   an   element   of   what   makes   him   who   he   is   .   he   is   extremely   supportive   of   those   who   pursue   music   ,   or   anything   ,   really   .   he   has   an   understanding   &   admiration   for   those   who   are   super    passionate    about   their   craft   .                however   ,   he   certainly   has   his    unfavorable    qualities   as   well   ,   &   we   have   to   keep   it   100   in   this   house   .   the   guy   can   be   an   absolute    juvenile    when   he   wants   to   be   ,   &   you   almost   forget   that   you   are   dealing   with   a   twenty   four   year   old   in   conversation   at   times   .   his   inner   child   can   get   the   best   of   him   at   times   ,   so   he   may   handle   certain   situations    inappropriately    .   not   only   that   ,   he   can   be   incredibly    stubborn    .   varying   on   the   cause   ,   if   he   is   adamant   about   something   ,   he   will   disregard   the   opinions   of   what    anyone    has   to   say   about   it   ,   even   if   they   are   looking   for   his   best   interest   .   in   spite   of   all   his   achievements   ,   he   still   can   be   incredibly    insecure    with   himself   or   his   work   ,   &   is   his   own   worst   critic   .   considering   he   isn’t    academically    acclaimed   ,   he   can   be   a   bit    dense    . .   sometimes   it’s   frustrating   ,   for   you   genuinely   wonder   if   he   utilizes   any   brain   power   .     sarcasm    is   one   of   his   many   defense   mechanisms   ,   &   he   can   be   pretty    blunt     when   he   wants   to   be   ,   something   offensive   slipping   from   his   lips   &   likely   not   even   acknowledging   how   insulting   it   may   sound   .

[pellicano-sanguino]

Now that Kurenai Yuzuru's taidan is drawing closer, I wanted to write something short about some of the roles she's done that I have fond memories of.

These are mostly from Reon's era, since most of my Hoshigumi shows are from that time. I need to see more shows from Kurenai's own top star run.

Mercutio from Romeo&Juliette 2010

This was the first zuka show I saw, and still my favourite show to this day. I could go into all the details about how I love this musical, but now I'm just going to mention the casting. It was perfect. Everyone got a role that fit their acting style perfectly. Kurenai was a natural Mercutio, the best one I've ever seen. She nailed Merkku's immaturity, playfulness and – most importantly in my opinion – his recklessness.

Memorable scenes are Mercutio's song number when he tempts his Montague buddies to go with him to crash the Capulet's party, him and the boys bullying Nurse, confronting Romeo after hearing the news about his wedding (I was quite shocked to see Mercutio threaten Romeo with honor violence, claiming he's going to slit his throat if he won't give up Juliette) and the fight scene followed by Mercutio's death including a final song of ”goodbye friends and PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!”

I admit, I don't usually care for it when zuka gives a dying character one final song that they sing in weak, slow voice, milking the tragedy for all the drama its worth. It often fails to be sad and just feels cheesy and soap operaish. But I found the song of dying Mercutio very touching, when I saw the scene for the first time I cried real tears. Despite the language barrier, Kurenai managed to reach to me with her voice and her acting and make me shed tears for Mercutio's death.

Sid from Officer and Gentleman

Officer and Gentleman isn't the kind of movie I'd thought would get a zuka adaptation and yet it exists. Zuka is very clearly targeted for women and this movie is more for the male audience. I know it has a romance and is therefore regarded as a love story but in my opinion this flick is more like a coming-of-age story about the character growth the male lead goes through (also, it oozes toxic masculinity, a thing more common in films for men). Anyway, the zuka version is actually a pretty good show. Ouki Kaname totally steals every scene she's in. But today I'm here to talk about Kurenai.

Kurenai is probably best known for her talent in comedy. Sometimes I've heard people say that's the only kind of shows she should do and that always made me sad, because Kurenai isn't a one trick pony trapped to do only one character type. I have been very impressed at her talent in playing sensitive men. Many otokoyaku roles rely on strong and cool male image, but Kurenai sometimes gets roles that let her show emotions, the men she plays are allowed to be vulnerable. Sid is one of these. Sid is young and a bit naive and makes stupid decisions, but when he thinks he's done a mistake, he is ready to take responsibility of it. The scene where he goes to propose Lynette breaks my heart every time. That look on his face when he finds out he's been lied to, it just hits me right in the feels. There is something so naturally charming and lovable in Kurenai that seeing her characters get hurt makes me feel awful. Like, no, don't do this to her!

Karenin from Anna Karenina

I have not read this book, but its one of my mother's favourites, so we watched this show together and she pointed me all the things that she thought zuka had adapted well and the parts that they had changed. She was especially impressed with Kurenai's Karenin. According to my mother, the character of Karenin is often done quite poorly in other adaptations of the book, he is often portrayed as just a onesided, simple man who's a little dumb and doesn't have much depth of character. Much like Sid, Kurenai's Karenin is allowed to show his emotions and not be just a boring, stoic figure who reacts to his wife's affair with mild disinterest. There is kindness in Karenin, it's not always easy to see, but it's there. He lost his own parents and a brother that was dear to him, and because he remembers how horrible it is to be alone and lose your family, he adopts Anna's and Vronsky's child, not wanting her to be left alone.

Antonio from Tale of Coimbra

I have opinions concerning this show. Namely, I think it misses a golden opportunity to put the zuka trope of reunion of lovers in the afterlife to proper use. Big part of the Coimbra legend are the coffins of Pedro and Inez being placed so that when they rise in Doomsday, the first thing they see is each others' faces. And zuka just had to go and twist the story so that Inez doesn't die (and they don't even get a happy ending despite that! Poor Pedro, he just can't win.). Also, very, very disappointed at the lack of Corpse Queen and tearing out assassin-Makaze's heart with a line ”You broke my heart, therefore you have none!”

Ahem. Sorry about the rant. Anyway, Kurenai is in this musical. He plays a guy named Antonio, who is...   umm... I think a pirate or a robber or something along those lines. The group of robbers/pirates gets made into scapegoats for Inez's murder, and Pedro, Pimenta, assassin-Makaze and some soldiers mercilessly slaughter them all. Kurenai's role gets very little stage time, but I wanted to mention this role, because I was very impressed with her stage swordplay skills. I don't know if I should credit the director for this, or if Kurenai did some research of her own, but her legwork is strong and sometimes I can even identify the poses she makes as part of real swordplay moves.

Warrior seeking to fight with Reon, from Takarazuka Floral Dance Scrolls

This is my favourite nihonmono revue. The music, the dancing and the costumes are all great. In one of the numbers Kurenai plays a warrior who doesn't get along with another warrior, played by Reon. I don't know what their beef is about, Kurenai just hates Reon's guts and sends ninjas to ambush him when he's spending time flirting with local ladies. Reon being Reon, he defeats all the ninjas and makes a daring escape with courtesan-Nene. They are heading towards a river, intending to ride a boat to safety, but by the riverside Kurenai confronts them. Holding his sword he opens his arms like inviting Reon for a hug. Come at me bro! And so they fight, doing the samurai slash thing where time freezes after they've struck at each other and then the one who lost slowly falls. The one who falls is Kurenai, and Reon and Nene proceed to their romantic boatride.

This number has left an impression on me, because I think the nihonmono look suits Kurenai really well. She made a very handsome and cool-looking warrior.

Shibata Rihito from Mei-chan's Butler

Takarazuka and shoujo manga have walked hand in hand since the days of BeruBara Boom and even before, inspiring each other. Every now and then zuka does a show based on a manga. This one, unfortunately, is based on a manga I have never read and therefore I had no idea what was going on during most of this musical. But I still found it rather entertaining (the prop work sure was something different, with weird video projections, shadow theater and parachuting puppets). I admit, the many colourful side characters steal the show from Kurenai quite often, being wilder and weirder than her character is. I will have to give special mention to Makaze's evil butler, I love it when Makaze plays villains. But at the end, this is Kurenai's show. She was a very dashing butler.  

Memorable scenes include a weird, artsy, dream-like interpretive dance scene where the shadow theater is put to good use for * symbolism *.

 Because I haven't read the manga, I have no idea what is going on here. My bet is on drugs.

Also among the memorable scenes is the fencing. I still think Kurenai is pretty good with a sword.

I need to come up with name for this trope, where the opponents lock their swords for a while to glare at each other and chat.

Bourguignon from Second Fortuitous Meeting

Many zuka comedies are wasted on me because so many of the jokes are language based and I still don't understand much Japanese. But this one I liked very much. Admittedly, I got to read a translation once, so this time I got the jokes, but even ignoring the spoken jokes, it's just a really fun show. Every character was fantastic, Kurenai's role as a manservant forced to fake being his own master included. Her talent in comedy is very strong, she masters small things like the tone of her voice, the expressions of her face and simple bodylanguage and makes her character absolutely hilarious. I have noticed  that one character pair zuka shows tend to have is pairing a cool and serious master with a sassy, loud, no-filter-between-brains-and-mouth servant, who works as a comedic relief softening the seriousness of their master. In a show like Second Fortuitous Meeting, where everyone is sassy, loud and has no filter between brains and mouth, Kurenai needs to tone her comedy up quite a bit so that Bourguignon will appear even funnier than his master.

Most memorable scene is Bourguignon sitting down in protest like a misbehaving infant when Dorante demands they leave.

This show got a sequel. It was just as fun as the first one, even though this time I had no translation and so had very little clue what was going on. Something involving a pumpkin thief.

Beniko and Reon's father from REON!!

Otokoyaku in drag for comedy reasons is quite a common thing in zuka, and usually I find it as amusing as real men in drag (in other words, not very). But I adore Beniko. The reason why her comedy works is that the joke isn't just putting otokoyaku in drag, Beniko is a carefully designed sketch character. Her costume, her curls that she constantly keeps shoving back over her shoulders, the way she speaks (this has to be some sort of dialect, I swear), she is just incredibly funny. I don't think I can properly explain why I find her so amusing, after all I don't even understand what she says. There's just something about Beniko that always makes me smile.

There was also a number where Reon sang about her family. Makaze and Kurenai played her parents. Makaze made a very charming Japanese beauty in her apron (I usually don't like it when they make her wear dresses, but here she looked so natural it suited her well). She had to bend her knees a little to appear shorter than Kurenai. Kurenai as Reon's father was weird looking, with thick eyebrows that made him look like a comic character. But he was a very sweet father, eagerly making faces and shaking a rattle at baby Reon, and smiling even when the fighting kids accidentally poured a tea kettle on him. I've always felt that Makaze and Kurenai had great chemistry together and seeing them play a married couple was adorable.

Gemini from Etoile de Takarazuka

Again, putting otokoyaku in drag isn't fun if you don't give her character. Well, in this revue Kurenai had to put her skills to the test by switching between two characters several times during the same number. The split-personality Gemini suffered from manic-depressive behavious. 

The female side was happy and giddy and optimistic (”Everybody loves me, I'm so pretty, and so witty, I'm so gay!”)

...and the male half was gloomy and depressed and had no self-esteem (”Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms...”). 

I have to respect her for managing these quick switches between otokoyaku and onnayaku, cheerful and gloomy, the changing between characters was done smoothly.

Also, I want that dress...   suit...   costume...   thing...   I want that dresssuitcostumething. I would wear it to every dance ball ever.

Frederic de Marmont from Napoleon

This show had a ton of characters, many of them quite colourful ones, and unfortunately Marmont was often left as only the observer of things happening around him (well, the story is being told by him, so it kinda fits). Nevertheless I think Kurenai was very handsome in the uniform, and I think Marmont got some important scenes. He knew Napoleon from the military school and there's a song number where he voices concern for his friend's endless thirst for more victories. In the end, he is the one who decides to surrender Paris, understanding that it's madness to keep fighting and lose more lives when losing the battle can no longer be avoided.

The part I remember Kurenai most in this show is actually from the minirevue. She dances a rather romantic dance with Makaze. I will say it again, these two had great chemistry together.

Philippe from Sun King

I know there are probably only like a handful of fans who like this show besides me, but I loved it. I've always been a sucker for French imported musicals in zuka. This show is another example of good casting, everyone gets a character that no one else would have done as well as they have. Kurenai, being the best there is at comedy, gets the comedic relief character Philippe the gay-tailed pheasant, who also shows to the audience how the royals and nobles lived in a fantasy bubble completely separated from real life. She gets three songs and she sings them well. I haven't mentioned it before now, but I really like Kurenai's voice. It's a very recognisable, charming, unique voice. I also have to show respect at how easily and naturally she wears the gaudiest costumes. This show has some really ridiculous costume designs for the nobles to show how separate they are from common folks, but Kurenai wears hers with pride. I can almost picture her looking at a costume desing and being like ”Wow that is the ugliest thing I've ever seen, when can I try it on?”

Percy Blakeney from Scarlet Pimpernel

When Reon and Nene graduated, my star also left Hoshigumi and I followed her to a new home troupe, so I haven't seen that many Hoshigumi shows after Reon's era. But when I saw that they were going to make Scarlett Pimpernel, I had to get it. I had seen Kurenai perform Percy as a shinko role and I thought she was brilliant even then.

Of course I was going to use screenshots of the fencing scene. What else did you expect?

Once when I was sick and couldn't even read books, just rest, I borrowed some audio books from the library. This is how I was introduced to Scarlet Pimpernel. I liked the audio book a lot, especially the menacing, raspy voice they gave to Chauvelin. I was delighted to discover one of the first stories to use the idea of a masked hero. Men who like Batman are not allowed to make fun of me for liking Scarlet Pimpernel.

Scarlet Pimpernel is such an entertaining story and Percy is such a charming hero, saving innocents and having fun while doing it. I like Kiriya Hiromu's Percy a lot too, but Kurenai's is my favourite. She really gets into the character and makes a very lovely Percy. Having to wear disguises in this show, she once again shows her ability to fit into all deliciously awful outfits (like the suits they wear to the party held by the prince of Wales). But even out of disguises, I've got to admit Percy's got style. I also obviously adored the sword dance in the mini revue. Kurenai's Percy brings a smile to my face whenever he's on screen. This is probably the role I will remember her most from.

I will miss Kurenai terribly. Whatever she decides to do after leaving Takarazuka, I wish her good luck and happiness as thanks for all the times she brought me lauhter, tears and joy.

[completeandrandomshit]

Credit: Midnight Special

Far Out Staff

Stevie Nicks’ 10 greatest songs of all time

There are few superlatives to sum up the mercurial talent of Stevie Nicks. As one of the most prominent songwriters of her generation, she remains the only female double Rock and Roll Hall of Famer in history.

That’s because below we’ve collated 10 of the singer-songwriter’s best songs from across her career, starting with work with Buckingham and following Nicks through her time as the frontwoman of Fleetwood Mac and on to her shining solo career.

The list of amazing Stevie Nicks-helmed songs could go on for a very long time. Nicks has always possesed the unique ability to not only write and record songs that are smart, impassioned and honest but also entirely ubiquitous and attainable. Nicks has perfected the ability to share herself and connect with her fans.

Below find Stevie Nicks’ 10 greatest songs of all time and expect to hear some of the most impressive vocals along with it.

Stevie Nicks’ 10 best songs

‘Crying in the Night’

The first song from Buckingham Nicks’ self-titled debut album was destined to be a chart-topper but never reached its potential. It did, however, catch the attention of Mick Fleetwood who would soon seek out the duo for his own band.

It instantly marked Stevie Nicks out as an aggressively honest writer as she warns of the dangers of obsessive love all wrapped up in some power-pop glory.

‘Blue Denim’

Street Angel may well be one of Nicks’ least-loved albums, having been written in the middle of leaving Fleetwood Mac and her prescription drug addiction, but it did hold one beautiful moment, the gorgeous ‘Blue Denim’.

 “It’s a song about this guy who came into my life, but left just as quick,” she told WDVE, referring to her on and off-stage partner Buckingham. “And his eyes were that intense.” The track is equally beguiling.

‘After The Glitter Fades’

Perhaps Nicks’ most pertinent vocal performances came on her 1981 solo album Bella Donna and ‘After The Glitter Fades’.

It perfectly encapsulates Nicks’ ability to transcend the terrestrial and make her way to the heavens without so much as a look back over her shoulder. The song’s vulnerable moments are perfectly held up by Nicks as she allows her audience another look into her soul.

The track may be relatively forgotten by some but it stuck with us and country legend Glen Campbell who picked it up for a charming cover. For our money, the original is on another level though.

‘The Chain’

A patchwork song built out of several different pieces from different members of Fleetwood Mac, the track remains one of the most unifying moments on the album. Moving effortlessly across the seventies spectrum the group show their mettle on this one and announce themselves as patrons of music in every form.

The track may well have been created by the band as a whole but it is Nicks’ lyrics and voice that remain with us after listening. It’s a testament to the singer’s ability to command not only a room but the airwaves too.

‘Rooms on Fire’

Taken from Nicks’ fourth solo studio album, 1989’s The Other Side of the Mirror, the track once again proved Nicks was a fantastic songwriter above all else.

Apparently inspired by her relationship with Rupert Hine, Nicks said of the song: “Rooms on Fire is about a girl who goes through a life like I have gone through, where she finally accepts the idea that there never will be those other things in her life. She will never be married, she will never have children, she will never do those [that] part of life.”

The track was a mainstay of Nicks’ live shows up until 1999 and hasn’t been played since. We hope that the song will get another outing soon enough.

‘Stand Back’

Taken from 1983 effort The Wild Heart, the single ‘Stand Back’ has a more curious composition story than you might imagine. Having married her friend’s widower following her death, Nicks and Kim Anderson were driving to their honeymoon when Nicks heard Prince’s ‘Little Red Corvette’ on the radio. She was taken aback.

Nicks began humming a tne inspired by the song and made Anderson stop the car so they could grab a tape recorder and, by process of humming the tune, laid down the bare bones of the song.

To this day, it remains a part of Nicks’ performances and was yet another reminder that even without a backing band she was a force to be reckoned wiht creatively.

‘Dreams’

During the recording of Fleetwood Mac’s seminal record Rumours, songbird Stevie Nicks would often escape the intensity of the studio to take a break in the King of Funk, Sly Stone’s room, as it was just down the hall in the same rehearsal space. It was there that Nicks would write one of the most beloved songs.

“It wasn’t my room, so it could be fabulous,” she recalled in the 1997 Classic Albums documentary on Rumours. “I knew when I wrote it that it was really special. I was really not self-conscious or insecure about showing it to the rest of the band.” The recording process was a scene that was worthy of escaping.

‘Dreams’ is a product of that highly-charged situation and sees Nicks firmly take aim at her now-ex-boyfriend Lindsey Buckingham with unnerving ferocity and marksmanship.

‘Edge of Seventeen’

The solo career of Stevie Nicks would be a pathway for so many other artists to follow. She went out on her own, away from some famous bands and arguably did it better than ever before. ‘Edge of Seventeen’ was Nicks’ all-powerful introduction to her solo career.

Nicks the Queen of Rock was born when Jimmy Iovine moved away from working with Tom Petty to take on her 1981 album Bella Donna. “It was Jimmy that said, ‘I will produce your record and we’ll make you a Tom Petty record, expect it’ll be a girl Tom Petty record,’” Nicks recalled. “I found that very exciting and I was jumping off the walls. That’s how it all started.”

The song wasn’t the first release from Nicks under her new guise away from Fleetwood Mac and Lindsey Buckingham but, there was something different to ‘Edge of Seventeen’ from the first two singles ‘Stop Draggin My Heart Around’ and ‘Leather and Lace’. Those two releases both featured Nicks singing as part of a duet.

While the ‘Rhiannon’ singer was naturally excited to have the great Tom Petty and Don Henley provide ample vocal support on the two previous releases, ‘Edge of Seventeen’ suddenly meant more knowing that Nicks was finally out on her own. It saw her shine as a solo star and promised that Nicks was a talent beyond any band.

‘Rhiannon’

The track ‘Rhiannon’ remains a clear fan favourite and still features in much of the band’s ‘best of’ sets. Written for their seminal self-titled album in 1975, shortly after Nicks and her then-boyfriend Lindsey Buckingham joined the band, it has to be one of the greatest pop songs ever written, the most perfect pop song, written about a witch.

Nicks was known to preface the song’s performance at their live dates with the words: “This song’s about an old Welsh witch” and she’s true to her word. Nicks discovered the folkloric Rhiannon in the seventies through a novel called Triad by Mary Bartlet Leader. The novel revolves around a woman named Branwen who is possessed by another wild woman named Rhiannon.

It marked Nicks out as not only a writer capable of drawing from her own experiences but of using the mythical to tell her story.

‘Landslide’

The track features on the band’s self-titled 1975 album, which along with Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham’s introduction, looked to truly kick start the success of Fleetwood Mac. This beautifully rich and luxurious song is one of the mainstays of that success. It stands among the most performed Fleetwood Mac songs and is a pivotal moment of their live show.

The song’s emotive language and Stevie Nicks’ undeniably pure and vulnerable vocal allows the mind to wander towards this track being a love song but, in truth, the track is located in more vocational areas of the soul.

It centres on a moment when Nicks, having lost her contract with Buckingham and Nicks, was truly worried that she may never achieve her dream. It is this longing that lands the song as one of Nicks’ finest.

The track is so ubiquitous with Nicks’ gorgeous and yet touchingly subtle vocal that it feels inextricable from her and her romantic past that it can feel too easily placed within the “love song” arena. The truth is that it most likely is a love song, but not as we would hope to define it.

This is an ode to Nicks’ only one true love; music.

THANKS TO FAR OUT MAGAZINE.CO.UK FOR THE ARTICLE

[noelpinnock1]

“Into the Unknown! – Part I”

Author Noel Pinnock, B.S., M.P.A., C.A., CCC

www.noelpinnock.com

 Merriam-Webster (MW) defines “mind,” in the noun tense, as the element or complex of elements in an individual that feels, perceives, thinks, wills, and reason. Furthermore, MW defines “set” as to put, lay, or stand (something) in a specified place or position. When you concatenate these words, we arrive at mindset. This compound word is so powerful that it can drive countries as well as individuals, alike, into mass turmoil or elevate them to great prosperity. The interesting thing about mindset is that it vacillates because its nature is predicated on situations and circumstances. We all have internal processes that govern our growth and development. Some may have a fixed mindset; therefore, growth and development can be limited. While others have a learning mindset and adjustments are made along our life’s journey. Whether fixed or learning, a mindset  is a set of assumptions, methods, or notations held by one or more people or groups of people and can also be seen as arising out of a person's world view or philosophy of life. Our mindset or logic box is our collection of knowledge, attitudes, skills, and habits (KASH) that often limit our perception and acts as a restriction on objective thought and creative expression. What is in your mindset? What are your views and perspectives that have eroded some of your best intentions with unintended consequences?

In 1972, one of the best-known slogans in public-service was “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” The United Negro College Fund ran this slogan in print, radio, and television as an intentional campaign to close a persistent gap between African Americans and other groups in college completion. They understood then as we know today that in a land that is constantly going through entropy only the learned will survive. We can no longer rest on the scaffold of mediocrity and not take the leap into the unknown.

The animated movie Frozen 2 was a mega-billion dollar hit at the box office and the soundtrack was equally successful on the music charts. One song, most notably, Into the Unknown, aligns with the perspectives of this article, in huge part because we fear what we don’t know, and many don’t ever like asking questions because it will make others believe that we don’t know thus the paradox.  Check out the first to verses of the song:

“I can hear you but I won't Some look for trouble while others don't There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whispers which I wish would go away.

 You're not a voice, you're just a ringing in my ear And if I heard you, which I don't, I'm spoken for I fear Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you”

 These words are very powerful for a seminal audience to comprehend but if you dissect its meaning, you will understand the humanistic nature of individuals whose mindset has been hindered or restricted because they don’t want to leave the porch, get out of the boat, or take the leap into the unknown. The unknown is scary and unpredictable. It isn’t something that we are used to. We prefer routine and certainty but as I have always told my staff, certainty is the enemy and uncertainty an ally. Our 10-year old daughter sang this song so much during the Frozen 2’s hey-day that I became so curious that I woke one early Saturday morning to watch it for myself.

The movie’s plot was rich, and it captivated me. Elsa the Snow Queen has an extraordinary gift -- the power to create ice and snow. But no matter how happy she is to be surrounded by the people of Arendelle, Elsa finds herself strangely unsettled. After hearing a mysterious voice call out to her, Elsa travels to the enchanted forests and dark seas beyond her kingdom -- an adventure that soon turns into a journey of self-discovery. Synoptically, Elsa discovers that the voice calling to her was the memory of young Iduna's call; that her powers were given to her by nature because of Iduna's selfless act of saving Agnarr; and that Elsa herself is the fifth spirit who would break the water dam that would save their kingdom.

You see, the voice calling Elsa (like you and me) into the unknown was challenging her mindset and comfort zone. She was doing just fine after Frozen 1 but there was an agitation that persisted and kept her up at night, trepidatious and reluctant to escape from the comfort the has confined her perspectives. We all get comfortable and enjoy what comfort brings. Many people see comfort as an adjective, describing an attribute or something, when, in fact, comfort is a noun.

Comfort enters your home as a guest, remains as your host, and will eventually become your master. Comfort is a silent killer and has been charged with homicides in careers, families, marriages, and almost every place imaginable where growth and development are quintessential factors to success. Our limited KASH affects our ability to create or solve problems in two important ways: it heavily influences the kind of opportunities or problems that we recognize as being important enough to create (opportunities) and/or solve (problems); and it influences the analysis of the potential (opportunities) and cause (problems) and therefore the proper course of action to maximize the opportunities in life or to minimize the duplication of problems that have been solved in our past. What’s the definition of insanity? There, you got it, doing the same thing while expecting different results or better yet…being fearful of entering the unknown.  

Our mindset should be challenged. We should have a desire to grow but that’s not innate in us. Physically speaking, our bodies do this on the regular. When we are hot, our bodies don’t sit there and internally combust. No, our bodies respond to the external stimuli by sweating to ensure we don’t overheat and dehydrate in the process. If the hairs in our nose tickle a bit, we sneeze. In other words, our bodies respond to external forces and are not going to be suppressed by anything.

Like our physical nature, our psyche (not psychic) nature, which comprises of our mind, will, and emotions should, like a thermostat, adjust to the external environment to maintain the proper climate in our lives. To do this we must be committed to the foundational premise of continuous learning and development. Without challenging ourselves, we subscribe to an internal newsletter whose content never changes. Imagine that, picking up a magazine and reading the same articles over and over again. Certainly, the cure to insomnia. So, if you want to challenge your mindset and are daring to enter the unknown to discover and unlock your internal talents and gifts, you must evict comfort because comfort is the enemy of change. Not to mention, we must dismiss the notion that nobody likes “change” but a wet baby.

Apostle Paul, whose mindset was drastically change on the Damascus Road, wrote that we are not to be conformed to the ways of the world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds or mindset. He realized, like we should, that transformation doesn’t end with age or experience, but it continues daily as we invent and reinvent ourselves. If you can agree with this, then you must establish parameters to keep your mind percolating and hungry for more.

Gertrude Ederle became the first woman to swim the English Channel in 1926, on her second attempt. 19-year-old Gertrude Ederle swam 21 miles from Dover, England, to Cape Griz-Nez across the English Channel, which separates Great Britain from the northwestern tip of France. On August 6, 1926, Ederle entered the water at Cape Gris-Nez in France at 7:08 a.m. to make her second attempt at the Channel. The water was predictably cold as she started out that morning, but unusually calm. Twice that day, however–at noon and 6 p.m.–Ederle encountered squalls along her route and Burgess urged her to end the swim. Ederle’s father and sister, though, who were riding in the boat along with Burgess, agreed with Ederle that she should stay the course. Ederle’s father had promised her a new roadster at the conclusion of the swim, and for added motivation he called out to her in the water to remind her that the roadster was only hers if she finished. Ederle persevered through storms and heavy swells, and, finally, at 9:04 p.m. after 14 hours and 31 minutes in the water, she reached the English coast, becoming the sixth person and first woman to swim the Channel successfully. Furthermore, she had bettered the previous record by two hours.

Afterwards, Ederle told Alec Rutherford of The New York Times, “I knew it could be done, it had to be done, and I did it.” She went on to say that she was successful the second time around, not because of the incentives outlined by her father but because she possessed a mindset that failure was not an option. She started the journey with intentionality to reaching the English coast. It was in her mind from the beginning even though she felt like giving up and her body became fatigued. She was set on not breaking the record but breaking up the comfort in her mindset that would oftentimes tell her she wasn’t capable, or the feat was impossible.

What has kept you anchored in a position of mediocrity? What has prevented you from going to the next level? I can guarantee you this…that something would be your mind. The richest place on the planet, found in every place across the globe, is the graveyard – filled with so many people who could have, would have, and should have, but for many (not all) were scared to enter the unknown. I am inspired by these words myself, and will likely archive this article because I, like you, will no longer be afraid to enter the unknown, because when we are there, we can unlock some of our life’s greatest experiences and moments. There I say again, let’s #getatit!

[dustinreidmusic]

Aretha Franklin ~ Live at The Fillmore West with King Curtis and special guest Ray Charles~ March 5th, 6th, 7th ~ 1971

Live video.

One of the most anticipated and ultimately satisfying run of shows ever to occur on the Fillmore West stage occurred in March of 1971, when Bill Graham presented three consecutive nights featuring Tower of Power, King Curtis, and Aretha Franklin. Immortalized in part on the album Aretha Live at Fillmore West, these performances became a landmark event that played a significant role in Franklin reaching beyond the loyal black audiences that already knew of her incredible talent. 

Pulling off these shows was not an easy task, but thanks in large part to the vision of Jerry Wexler, who had signed Franklin and produced her studio recordings, the challenging logistics were overcome, but not without some trepidation. First, Fillmore West was a much smaller venue that could not accommodate the size audience required to guarantee Franklin’s performing fee at the time. This was overcome with the solution of recording a live album to offset the financial arrangements. 

Additionally, Franklin had been touring with a traditional show band for years, but Wexler wanted to use an entirely different group for these performances, utilizing top session musicians, including those that had played on Franklin’s studio recordings. There were also serious concerns about how Franklin would be received by the primarily white hippie audience that frequented Fillmore West. Wexler persuaded Franklin to work with King Curtis and the Kingpins, which featured one of the greatest rhythm sections on the planet. Led by Curtis Owsley, whose soulful sax had been prominently featured on Franklin’s earlier studio sessions for Atlantic, his Kingpins included a dream team of musicians that featured Cornell Dupree on guitar, Jerry Jemmott on bass, Bernard Purdie on drums, Truman Thomas on electric piano, and Pancho Morales on congas. They additionally recruited the up and coming organist Billy Preston, already a veteran of countless sessions, including The Beatles Let It Be album sessions. 

To give the ensemble the additional punch required to match Franklin’s intimidating vocal power, the legendary Memphis Horns were also recruited, along with the Sweethearts Of Soul (Pat Smith and Aretha’s cousins, Margaret Branch and Brenda Bryant) on background vocals. Aretha Franklin was totally in her prime as America’s Queen of Soul when this recording was made in 1971 at San Francisco’s legendary Fillmore West auditorium. Franklin, who had already captured the hearts and minds of young, black America, was eager to break out to a new, mainstream white audience, who had embraced her hit singles, but not really delved deeper into her musical repertoire. 

The album, Aretha Franklin at the Fillmore West released shortly after she performed this and the other two shows, was a doctored recap of her three-night stand that failed to capture the pure electricity of these shows. In 2007 Rhino Records released all three shows in one brilliant CD collection entitled Don’t Fight the Feeling: The Complete Aretha Franklin & King Curtis Live at the Fillmore West. However, that release was limited to 5,000 copies and is now out of print. This performance, played on the third night of the run, March 7th, 1971, features a kick-ass combination of the King Curtis Kingpins band and The Memphis Horns, and is probably the best of the six performances Franklin gave. She opens, ironically, with the song that she often closed her shows with, “Respect“, written by the late Otis Redding. There are hot versions of her other hits, such as “Call Me“, “Don’t Play That Song” and “Spirit In The Dark“, performed here with Ray Charles. She also does a bevy of soulful covers including Stephen Stills‘ “Love The One You’re With” Bread‘s “Make It With You” a stinging version of The Beatles‘ “Eleanor Rigby, and “Bridge Over Troubled Water“, which was then a hit for Simon & Garfunkel. 

Franklin, who was Atlantic‘s answer to the Motown sensation, actually closes with a pair of Motown classics: “You’re All I Need To Get By” and “Reach Out And (Touch Somebody’s Hand)” which she absolutely crushes in comparison to the Diana Ross version.

(From: https://www.funkmysoul.gr/aretha-franklin-1971-live-at-the-fillmore-west/)

[rktingyan-blog]

   *.☽ .* ┊chong tingyan meets mga 5 callbacks, 062719 !                                 ↪ dancing to  i’m so hot (0:03 - 1:11) &  so hot remix (0:12 - 0:55)

what did chong tingyan do when she found out she'd made it past preliminaries? did she cry, gasp, or scream like other contestants might have done? well....no. in fact, she laughed. not out of amusement, or humor, but in actual disbelief that something which had started out as a dare had landed her a spot on the show she used to fantasize of even being in the audience for. it was reality - a crazy one at that, but hers. unbelievably hers.

things had been hectic in the week she'd took to prepare both mentally and physically - from hectic dance practices with yuqi, to stressing over her outfit, to preparing the best performance she could muster. it was no secret the girl was a perfectionist, so no matter how short her appearance on the show was she would do anything to stand out for just a little more camera time.

things hadn't really begun to settle in until tingyan got where she is now - walking in with the rest of the hopefuls, really sitting where the first episode would be held. as the cameramen were getting their positions, her eyes wandered to the front, landing on the set of chairs she just knew had to be for the ceos. gulping, even the seemingly unphased tingyan couldn't help the wave of nerves approaching her. her competition had never wandered far from other dance schools or her own classmates - never had she been in the running with so many people this talented. for the majority of the waiting she stays to herself aside from the polite hellos and small talk, her nerves and final preparations getting in the way of allowing her to be as talkative as she usually is.

and though it feels like only a few minutes have passed amidst the nerves, she's eventually called up to the stage where she's expected to perform. it all seemed so surreal, and it's almost as if someone else's taken control and walked her up themselves. you've got this, tingyan. i don't know anyone else made for tv than you. her older brother's words ring in her head, from the phone conversation they'd had earlier. for a while, looking at others talking to their parents or friends for encouragement, tingyan swears she's all alone. but when she thinks of all those who have supported her - from yuqi helping her out with her performance, to soyeon making sure she looked pretty, and all the other friendly people she'd come across during her time there. it gives her the confidence that, if not anything else, she's here, and that's farther than she'd ever really expected to make it. she'd give it all she got to the judges - and it'd be enough for her.

once she approaches the stage, she imagines herself starring in her own movie, not really there. instead she tries to channel an amplified tingyan - a little more confident, a little nicer, a little less nervous. when the girl looks over to the judges who asked for her name, she notices the faint exhaustion imprinted on their features from the many contestants who'd already gone before her. she recalls the past interview she's partaken in as well as the encounter during her arrival at auditions and decides she'll try her best to leave an imprint on the judges. "graceful, young, and pretty! this season's ambitious queen, i'm your chong tingyan, hello everyone!" she'd created her own greeting a few days in advance, sounding similar to the ones idols had for entire groups. extra, but very tingyan. her introduction exudes confidence, which isn't entirely false, but she worries it may come off as cocky. also not entirely false, but that wouldn't be a good look for a new contestant to have. so just in case, she slips in a quick "i look forward to hearing your feedback! i hope you enjoy my performance," before continuing.

as the lights dim, tingyan gets the chance to clear her thoughts, imagining she was performing at a noraebang with friends. this could be her stage, if she claimed it. so when the lights are shining back on her and the music she'd heard too many times this week begins to play, she knows she's got this.

she'd got it all figured out - this portion would be dedicated to her charms. the choreography isn't hard in the slightest, obvious in the way the judges look on nonchalantly, but tingyan hopes to spice things up with her personality. so even though she's not singing this time around, her lips mouth the lyrics as her body moves to the beat. a little flirty, but more cute than anything. attempting to win over the heart and soul of her most beloved company, she delivers a finger heart to hyun bin in substitution of the point she usually does. the girl was certainly risking a lot here, but it was her best shot at showing she wasn't scared of trying new things. if anything, it was much different than her previous dance audition - far less involved with technicalities and dramatics and much more with stage presence and charisma.

so when the chorus hits, tingyan ushers the crowd to show enthusiasm, cheering "let's go!" as she points to the crowd, beckoning them to join in on the chorus. "i'm so hot!" she chants, beaming as her hands began pointing, doing the infamous choreography. few other songs could have matched tingyan so well, full of confidence and laced with a little cuteness on the side. the choreography isn't straining, and tingyan uses the opportunity to utilize the whole stage, waving in the direction of the crowd, and then the judges. when she reaches back to the center, she grins, mouthing one last "i'm so ho-"

silence. the music turns off for a few seconds, and tingyan notes the confusion through squinted eyes as she slumps her head over. it's only obvious once the winding up sound effect of the next song is heard this is intentional, as the girl's body moves with the beat. thank god for yuqi helping her gain control over her body, or else she may have never learned how to do it properly.

the song shift is...certainly different, straying from cuteness and moving towards a more fierce type of alluring. soft and cute moments are handed over for sharper,  more seductive ones. though it's a completely different drama, the moves call for all the years of ballet in which she'd learned how to have more precise movements when she danced. her eyes lock on each of the judges for a brief second a piece, unable to help the small smirk on her lips as she moves. torso bouncing forward, she feigned exhaustion with her hand over her forehead as the words hot hot were heard from the speakers. going from i'm so hot to so hot seemed to be a good choice - both with familiar lyrics but definitely different vibes. this portion was mostly to show her dance skills, that even though she had much to improve on regarding hip hop she could also do other things outside of just contemporary.

as she reaches the lyrics, she mouths these by heart as well, evidence that both songs had been ringing in her head for days on end. this choreography calls for her to point to someone, but this time, it's directed at katie lee. hey - it never hurt to try and pinpont your favorites, right? her body moves in each of the choreographed moves for the breakdown, a little less clean than it could have been but satisfying for tingyan considering her lack of experience in hip hop. she lingers on the last few beats, bringing her body into a squat then popping up to finish the song. the dance finishes with a turn to the back of the stage, looking over her shoulder to wink at the panel one last time.

as soon as the song's over, she's a little flustered, but manages to smile and deliver a thankful bow to everyone. "thank you for watching!" she says gratefully, one last time before following the route she'd gotten on to get back offstage.

she'd done it. she'd really done it. euphoria washes over her as she exits, finding her friends who'd been watching in the audience to give a thumbs up.

i came, i saw, and even if no one else thinks i did....i conquered, she thinks, sitting in her seat once more as yet another contestant prepared to perform. she'd gave it her all, and finally got to feel the rush of dancing once more. that was enough for her.

[rqs902]

qcyn ep 11 -- can you believe the finale is tomorrow?!?

this whole texting section was so funnyyyy and i will honorably mention yet again that yao chi texting mc jin in english is so sweet

li ronghao torturing xu longhan iS HIALRIOSUS 

 but i also pity the poor child LOOL

wait can we talk about chen tao’s spelling timao LOL

and chen sijian’s face LOLLL

omg yao mingming’s message is so aww... he mentions liking yixing since he debuted in 2012.......

omgggg fjj and wang yi theyre all so cute and screamy and i loveee 

WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIN MO AND WANG YI’S HAPPY DANCE

oh gosh the8 is really showing us how hard seventeen works to get their choreo super in sync wow they really must work so hard.... wow minghao giving up the center position bc he knows how important this is to these kids... he deserves more recognition as a great mentor wow

oh my goodness.......... li zhenning’s voice shaking as he says to shi mingze “if you can get into top 20, then you’ll have hope” is.... the most heartbreaking......... knowing that shi mingze doesnt.......... they literally were smiling as they went off into this corner to talk and are crying by the time they come out..... can you just imagine how much sadness and stress is constantly looming over these kids’ heads and tearing down at their mental health?? its all hidden and suppressed, but with really fragile borders, so as soon as you pick at the walls, their raw emotions come bursting through... 

this just reminds me that even tho shi mingze is their cool, handsome leader, hes still the youngest in bg project............

can we please talk about how considerate of a friend li zhenning is and has been?? 

and this all took place before zhenning ever ranked into top 9.... so to them, this opportunity wouldve been really important for zhenning too, bc maybe he wouldve really needed it to get into top 9. but at least we know now.... he has enough popularity that they made the correct choice and hopefully more people will notice shi mingze as a result

ZHAN YU’S ARMSSSSSSSSS bo yuan’s hair!! i really like it!!!! wen yechen in pink!!!!!! his voice is so addicting i just wanna hear more of it... it dont matter that zhenning isnt center, he still shines :)) wait wu zelin’s voice i really liked it in retreat and we get even more vocal-like wu zelin here! thats a realy nice purple on qunfeng, hes really rocking this look SHI MINGZE I SAW THAT WINK frick minghao’s dancing is just so satisfying to watch wowow

man he looks so good

wow i live for random zhan yu reactions (imma just collect them here LOL)

after journey and mc jin’s friendship is so cute hahahaha

ok i see why elle thinks chen tao is a visual

wang zhe and wu chengze have both really improved in their stage presence throughout the course of this show aw deng chaoyuan looks the happiest we’ve ever seen him on stage haha zhou shiyuan’s voice is really so cool 

i guess we’ll never find out why gu landi is in mc jin’s group..... is it bc yao chi is here? im sorry i love this song and i love a lot of the kids in this group but can you just imagine how much better this stage would’ve been if it were with more kids who had experience rapping....? last year’s “zero” stage just made such a bigger impression on me...... this is actually really such a contrast im---

ALKSJDLAKSJDLK CHEN SIJIAN’S RAPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE JUST DID THATT!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT!??!?!1//!ASDLKJALSKJJ OMGGOHS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! CHEN SIJIAN JUST BLEW EVERYOEN OUT OF THE WATER YOU BEST BET HE DID WOWOW HE JSUT I CANT BELEIEVE HE JSUT INCLUDED AT LEAST 4 NAMES WOW 

IM WEN YECHEN

chen sijian is really the best at writing raps about his bros wow and like also he has the most creative lyrics i really appreciate wow such talent hes amazing!!!

a lost baby..

UNDERAPPRECIATED GU LANDI VISUALS

the face of a legend 

ever since i saw the “time” ballad version, ive had a sneaking suspicion that lin yuzhi is secretly one of the strongest vocalists on this show..... this is the face of talent

idk whose outfit is distracting me more, xu bingchao or xixi’s LOL shao haofan looks so nice here wow and ding feijun is so adorable even tho this is a more mature concept but i still cant see him as anything but a cute child

maybe its the way they cut up the lines but idk this song didnt really show off their vocal abilities that well..... sorry xixi :( i think xixi’s voice deserved better time to shine on this show...... his and feng junjie’s voices are actually both so nice i was so impressed when i saw them singing in the oaca clips

this koala ad makes me very uncomfortable......

wenhan reaches into the box and pulls out..... costco brand blueberries??!?!?/1 hHhahahhahHAHAHHA 

lol yao chi being so sentimental... oh look at this photo of me with bubbles on my face (me: oh no here it come--) OH YEA ALSO CHECK OUT THIS FACE WASH!

wow kou cong!! a face i havent seen in a while aw! i cant believe they filmed all the yaa eps while they all still had colorful hair lol i guess ill never get to see lin mo on yaa /sigh/ or actually any of the tyger members cept jia yi.........

HAHAHAHAHHA YESSSSSSSSS THEY INCLUDED A CLIP OF CHEN SIJIAN’S PHONE CALL !!!! HIS WAS HILARIOUSS!!!! HAHAHAHA I LOVED HOW SIMILAR HIS FAN SEEMED TO BE TO HIM HAHAH 

AAHH AS SOON AS IT GETS TO LIN MO’S ITS THE SAD MUSIC TIME

his was the most heartwarming call.... no bias LOL

feng junjie singing “the great artist” just---

this boy will never stop with the meme faces hHAHAHA

im surprised this section was so short lol i was expecting them to spend more time on this group...

SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN YEA

jolin’s eyes are so wow 

feng junjie with the voice!!!!!!1 

JOLIN THE QUEEN

still kinda wish jia yi had more opportunity to sing on this show......... hes like second main vocalist to zhan yu in tyger but i feel like he hasnt gotten to show his voice much :( he did really well tho!!! he really has impressive stage presence

omg lin mo’s super shy “1 day” ahhhhh 

omg wang jiayi looks like hes about to cry... the poor child....

yixing reaching out to apologize to them.... hes really so caring towards them...... wang jiayi just needs more confidence!! i believe in him too

where did lin mo get this white cap from? lol he chose the pink one..... on a related note, im so happy lin mo got to be in yixing’s group, bc from the beginning with namanana hes really really tried so hard to earn yixing’s recognition, im sure it means a lot to him to be able to learn from him like this and share a stage with him 

yao mingming too, i feel like he really values yixing’s recognition as well

i think all the kids in this group had to have known that picking yixing’s group would be the most tiring and require the most effort, but i think choosing this group regardless just really shows they came here to learn 

A HAPPY BABYYY

omg like yixing is really /teaching/ them and i appreciate that

lin mo and xu fangzhou’s voices!!!!!!

OOF IM SO READY FOR THIS OUTFIT 

ASLDKALSDKJLAK HE WINKED!!!!!!!!!!!

what is this awkward closeup

why does fangzhou have wings lol

i feel like theres a lot of random awkward closeups of lin mo.... should i be happy about this??? LOL i dont think theyre all very flattering but at the same time at least hes got closeups....???? ? ??  

OOF HES GETTING MORE LINES THAN I EXPECTED TOO

you know how ive talked about how i love how much detail lin mo puts into his dancing, including even his slight head tilts? LOOK ANOTHER HEAD TILT 

HAHAHAHHAHA GUAN YUE’S EYES GOT SO BIG HAHAHHAHA OMGGG

ooof lin mo getting to sing the chorus with yixing im !!!!!! im sure hes so grateful for this opportunity wow also i think i mentioned this with namanana but i really think lin mo suits yixing’s dance style, like its a style that hes pulls off really well, so i think he got to shine a bit in this performance :’)

ok i havent said this yet but what is with that thick black fade at the top of the screen its so annoying??? like why you gotta cover the top of their heads??? 

wow we’re really getting a lot of random lin mo shots hahahha is this iqiyi repenting their wrongs from ‘spirit of the knight’ i almost am surprised how yao mingming isnt getting the most screentime but then i remember iqiyi has never favored yao mingming........ /sigh

AYYY WENXUAN AND LIN MO THE BUDDIES

just look at how perfectly tilted / well-positioned lin mo’s head is wow and that gaze wow i just love his stage presence

yea im gonna have to rewatch this perf to gif the lin mo moments.... maybe after the finale tomorrow when ill be like oop lin mo didnt make it in oh well let me just wallow in his talent that the audience slept on by drowning myself in lin mo content (its not like i do that every day already)

LOL THAT CAMERA SPIN WAS SUCH A FAIL YOU CANT SEE ANYONE CEPT WENXUAN ADJUSTING HIS MIC HAHAHHAHA ok on a side note tho im glad wenxuan got to be in this group too!! yuehua’s dancer getting to show us his dancing again :’) and we all know he was discouraged being reshuffled into “maze” and i just wanna say wenxuan deserves more credit for being able to really go out of his comfort zone and pull off the cute concept in “maze” well even tho he didnt want to accept it at first! 

HES PERFECT 

hey yall is it just me or did you see lin mo’s eyes in that really fast flashy bit at the end of the preview for the finale? HAHHAHAHA i couldnt even screenshot it bc it was so fast, but i swear i saw his eyes so i think he was in it LOOOL

JSUT KIDDING I WENT BACK AND TRIED AGAIN AND I GOT IT

I KNEW I SAW HIS EYES HAHAHAHHAHA

oo i havent mentioned this before but i really like the sound of chen sijians voice, even when speaking... 

OMG GU LANDI

OMGGGG MY CHILD YE ZIMING IN FREAKING TARZAN NEXT DOOR??!???

THIS IS TOO MUCH!!!!!!! THANKS FOR REMINDING US HOW IQIYI TOTALLY SLIGHTED THIS BOY OUT OF GETTING INTO TOP 35

aw honestly i wonder if lian huaiwei will really not make it tomorrow.....  

omg sun zelin in the ending credits!!!!

OMG ZHAN YU TOOOOOOO

OOF LOOK AT ZHAN YU’S JAWLINE (ooops sorry yechen ahhahhhaa)

they must really like this part of the choreo?? 

BUT I LOVE THIS LOOK ON YECHEN YESSS

lol is this lin mo’s back

tbh im surprised they didnt include lin mo in the ending credits but i think they were trying to make up for the loss of yao mingming time earlier LOOL 

ok well i have about 10 hrs until i gotta wake up to watch the finale so.... now to go watch fjj and hcx’s goodnight dachang HAHAH