#one of my friends bc of a ‘mistake’ (wasn’t a huge deal LOL) that the prof had made

[stinkbeck]

swear 2 god i’m gonna give up + become a full-time painter. fuck all of this shit.

[hiraethwa]

hello Ave!!! What lovely weather we’re having <3 welcome to inbox infiltration season 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

On today’s menu I have *checks clipboard* ah, yes I see now. Hq analysis of my favorite? That seems right. where to begin with the anomaly that is Oikawa Tooru??? I’m so in love with this man omg (okay, this isn’t a yap about how hot I find him goodness). He’s such a good character, I mean they’re all good characters. But I especially like his character. If given the chance I will yap about him <3

he spends his early years in love with volleyball but over time grows to hate the sport. he would never see it as hate though, he doesn’t see it as anything other than love. but his love for volleyball turned into an obsession with being number one. that’s fairly common with athletes i’ve heard !! but he makes me so sad oml. he never sees himself as good enough.

there’s always someone he perceives as being in his way </3 when really the only person stunting his growth is himself…he’s holding himself back by not taking proper care of himself. he trains for hours on end to the point of injury (ankle injury. fandom i will never forgive you for gaslighting me into thinking he hurt his knee). he trains and trains and trains to exhaustion and the only person who sees it is Iwaizumi :( and he tries to help his friend but it’s hard to help people who don’t want to be helped.

he has so many challenges that he perceives but the time he does his best is after losing. (correct me if i’m wrong chat </3) he won his first set against Shiratorizawa after having a huge personal loss (being benched <//3). he needs to trust himself and i believe that’s similar to what Iwaizumi tells him lol. (it’s been a minute since I’ve watched this part of hq go easy on me chat :( ) once again we see him try and fail at something but it’s not the same as it was before.

he allows himself to learn from his mistakes instead of obsessing over them. he’s such a good side character to me hehe, i love how hq deals with side characters. everyone’s story feels complete. Seijoh wins the first match against Karasuno but he doesn’t feel happy. he doesn’t feel like he did his best. :( bcs he doesn’t think he beat Kageyama at his best so he looks down on himself for only beating Kageyama (someone he sees as better than him by leagues) when he’s at his perceived “worst.” omg I’m sorry love this is getting really long haha— I’ll try to cut it down now!!! when he loses to Karasuno he cries. but he also learns that he’s okay with the fact that he lost, that volleyball isn’t a sport that’s only him there’s five other people out there with him. he learns that “talent is something you make bloom” that he’s not a genius but he is talented and he needs to work on making it bloom in a healthy setting.

I especially love the panel (spoilers duh) where he learns that volleyball is fun again. it makes me bawl my eyes out every time. I can’t tell you why, it just makes me so happy and emotional that he finds love for a sport he had grown to hate. and then WE SEE HIM AT THE OLYMPICS. and he faces a team of everyone he’s perceived as better than him over the years and trained by his best friend. Everyone is at the best they will be and he gets to play against them again. ahhh—I love him so much. The story of not feeling good enough -> him finding that he doesn’t need to win to feel good enough he just has to have fun. that’s what his job is about lol, having fun (I’m heavily simplifying lol). I love that he found satisfaction with himself and he’s so <333 I love him :((

OKAY DONE. THAT’S A WRAP FOLKS!!! enjoy my analysis Ave lol <3 I hope this wasn’t too long :p <3

-kai <3

please find in your askbox that i will be matching your freak!

i love oikawa's complex villain character (he would singlehandedly defeat sukuna, fight me)

he's soooo UGHHHHH perfect angst material

fic ideas include but not limited to:

tooru breaking your heart because he doesn't have enough time for you/prioritise you

tooru leaving you behind for argentina

tooru's obsession with volleyball impacting your relationship

tooru not pursuing anything with you because he will never have enough time to treat you like you deserve to be treated

tooru falling out of love with you because your paths no longer align

tooru putting himself before you

oops

ILY KAI

match my freak! askbox event

[rotshop]

get prankt this isn't an angst fic lol ,,

ANYWAY ,, i realized earlier that i could've just been calling 'auditor reader' employer reader this whole time and then i had a funny silly goofy little idea and now we r here,,,lol,,, ill proof read this later but i did this in one go no breaks so . help.

I might continue this later so!! consider this a sort of 'introduction' if u will,,

note ; auditor uses he / she / they pronouns in this bc ive decided im just going to push my propaganda onto all of you <333 also Hank uses he / they / xe

tw ; dissociation, dereality, some light body horror

Bloody Management

"This is out of your jurisdiction. You've wasted enough time here," you seethed dryly, staring down at the shorter being. "You've made no progress and have only proved your operation to be a strain on our relations and resources."

"Out of MY jurisdiction? YOU'VE never even been there before! You think you can just storm in and suddenly kick me out of my own work?" Auditor shot back, hands slamming down on the mahogany desk in front of her.

"Yes, actually, I do," you snapped, eyes narrowing. "I think you're forgetting just who you're speaking to. You've let this drag on for far too long and your ego has grown in tandem with its pointlessness."

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, pinching the bridge of your nose as you continued. "Look, I understand. You put effort and thought into this little pet project of yours, but the results have all proven zilch. You fucked up, that's fine, but you can't keep meddling with this reality in hopes something will suddenly work again! All you're doing is tearing and poking holes the rest of us will have to deal with later."

"If you just gave me a little more time I could-"

"We've been giving you time. We've given you more time than we've ever given any project like yours," you gave a desperate look, "It's over. You tried and we tried, there's nothing that can be done. If you just worked with us then we could help you."

There was a long silence as they faltered, hands falling into their lap as their gaze followed, landing on the floor.

"And what happens to my Nevada?"

"We'll try and clean it up again. Return it to..some sort of normalcy," you hummed, "Though, with some of those tears in the fabric it'll take a bit longer than anticipated. That..clown, is proving to be rather difficult."

You paused, grin finding it's way onto your face.

"It's been tricky, if you will."

"Not the time."

You gave a 'tsk' in response, shrugging lightly, "I don't regret it."

"You'll be going back to our depths, effective immediately. While this project was a failure, we're still curious to see if there's anything else that can be done in a different time and place."

"And what about you? Are you going to sit all pretty in this fake office for the rest of eternity?" She questioned sarcastically, eyes dragging up to meet yours.

"God, I wish. I mean, seriously, you have no idea how nice it is to have some peace and quiet after dealing with that fuckin' office."

With a dry snicker and -presumably- an eye roll, they finally stood accepting their defeat.

"I presume I'll be seeing you?"

"If your little posse doesn't cause me too much trouble, yes."

"Have fun with that, I do hope it's as grueling as possible," he hummed, turning and striding towards the door to nothing.

"Thanks, was nice seeing you too."

The door peering to the void shuts soundlessly.

.

.

.

"Was the pun really that bad?.."

---

"What do you mean they're just neutral suddenly? It's not like they all just suddenly unionized or sum' shit! There's gotta be something going on," Deimos groaned, irritation dragging onto him and clinging desperately.

"Well- What do you want me to say! I'm just as confused as you are," Sanford huffed back over comms, making a vague gesture with no audience.

Hank stood in the other room, staring down at the few agents that were on their knees with their hands held tight behind their heads. They'd made no attempt to attack Sanford and xem, simply staring in a bit of surprise when the two'd busted in. It'd completely thrown the raid off, leaving them both in a state of stunned confusion. The agent that they'd asked about the sudden change in demeanor just gave some shaky shrug, stammering out that they'd all received an order to not attack under any circumstances from some unknown contact. 'They really just listen to anyone then?..'

It was hard to believe, hard to find any reason or meaning in that lead to any conclusive endings. Which, had lead to a small dispute going nowhere and fast. Hank only picked up on little parts of it, the words being muffled and distorted through the wall. Xe didn't really have much interest in getting a clearer reading of it though, it didn't sound like it meant much.

"Look, I'm just going to try and look for any documents or actual recordings of this apparent 'ghost order,' alright?..." A pause. "Deimos? Are you there? Shit- Of course the line dies now of all times."

The line wasn't dead. It was somewhere else, some-when else.

---

The ground felt cold.

.

.

No, was it warm?

Wait- No no no, it wasn't warm..

.

.

.

Was it even the ground?

.

.

Did it even matter?

.

Deimos could fuzzily recall it. Arguing with Sanford over the line. The points he made exactly didn't seem to ring through the fog of confusion and numb in his mind. Something about the Auditor, the agents, blah bla..something.

He'd been making to say something else when he'd seen it, something off in the corner of his eye. It wasn't anything huge, if you asked him he wouldn't even be able to tell you what it was. There was something wrong, but there wasn't. The ground was cold, but it was warm.

Something was wrong.

Everything is fine.

He'd turned around, looking around for whatever in his vision wasn't right.

That's rude to say, you know.

He'd never found it, something reaching from the depths to grab him.

You're making me sound awfully cruel.

With a groan, he picked himself up off the ground to observe his surroundings. White and black stretched infinitely around him, the 'ground' underneath him was the deepest of not-color while the 'sky' was its blinding twin. A building stood in front of him, a mix of ivory and ink twisted to form its structure. The door faced him, standing tall and straight as a soldier in spite of how tilted and off the world felt.

Before he could even really register it, something was pulling him up off the floor. There were no hands or strings physically attached, nothing sticking from him to drag into the infinite beyond his comprehension, no no. It was something quiet, a ghost or a whisper in his mind that pulled him through the ocean and to shore. The door grew larger- closer. His mind grew blanker. His hand twisted the knob.

Color flooded into his vision finally, the room in front of him coated in it graciously. The floors were a velvet carpeting, a wine red that felt of lavish and glitzy. The walls were lined in bookshelves, each filled to the brim with titles somewhere between poetry and latin white noise where imagination fell. At the head of the room stood a desk, polished mahogany standing tall and still, frozen indefinitely in time. Behind it, you.

Me.

Once again, he was pulled forward. Each step fell in front of the other, unsure of weight behind them and noise that followed suite. He felt half there. Half of a man and half of a void. It was..something.

Not pleasant, not bad.

The ground wasn't cold, wasn't warm.

It just was.

He finds himself meeting your gaze as he plops down into one of the seats in front of you. He finds his neck straining and bowing under phantom limbs that aren't there. He finds his eyes training on yours which stare back pointedly, finds himself between hot and cold. He finds himself sitting down before you as he watches from the window.

There's no window in the room.

"You must be so confused."

Your voice is in front of him, right? That's where you are, so your voice should be coming from there. It isn't though. It's around him somewhere. Even as you tilt your head to the side the noise of your own voice doesn't seem to follow it.

"Don't think too much on this all, alright?"

You mutter something. 'These grunts really weren't made for this- to be here. I'm surprised he even woke up.'

Someone nods in agreement.

"Wh..who are you?"

Is that his voice? It is. It has to be, it fell from his own mouth. He barely even felt it move. Is it his mouth? It has to be.

You pause for a moment, seemingly caught off guard. He doesn't know if its because he spoke or because of what he asked. Nobody clarifies.

"Why don't you call me [name]? That'll be easiest for you. I do apologize for dragging you here rather than appearing there," you hum, leaning forward on your desk. "I just wanted to make sure we had the utmost privacy."

I wanted to make sure you wouldn't be able to forget.

"Now, Deimos," is that his name? "I need to tell you something, I have to work on restoring things for you, so I can't deliver this message to everyone myself in the most..effective of ways. You won't mind filling your friends in for me, right?"

He doesn't answer. He can't. His tongue is lead and his mouth is stuck shut, if he opens it will surely be left that way for the rest of infinity- for the rest of this place, this time. Someone says yes in his voice.

"Good. Now, try to listen carefully..."

---

He wakes up on sand. He's sitting up quickly, stilted as his mind finds his body. His tongue is lighter, teeth separated once more as his jaws are their own entities again. The cliff is still under him, wind passing by him peacefully. The horizon stretches infinite.

The ground is warm, there's no mistaking it.

"Deimos? Are you there?"

He pauses briefly.

"I need to tell you guys something."

[weepylucifer]

So I’m just trying to unpack my thoughts on Bo-Katan a bit more here, okay:

We all know by now that yes, it is allowed for Bo-Katan to take the darksaber back without a duel, and that that’s in fact how she got it. So when she said she couldn’t take it from Din, that’s either a retcon or she lied.

The thing is, she might’ve just lied, or at least omitted information. She’s done that to Din before (told him he’s in a cult without mentioning that she in fact was in Death Watch, told him they’d steal weapons from the transport when she intended to hijack the transport, didn’t tell him what the darksaber meant just that she wanted it). So why would she pretend she couldn’t take the darksaber from Din, when that at first glance only seems like trouble for her? Well, idk but here’s my best guess,

Bo-Katan is the one who lost the darksaber from Gideon. Maybe that also lost her the support from the clans who were with her before. They’re watching what she does next to prove worthy of the throne again. To her, duelling Gideon and winning wasn’t just about grabbing the darksaber, it was about fixing her mistake, restoring her reputation. Winning it back from the person who stole it seems legitimate for a kingmaking (queenmaking?) myth. Winning it back from Some Rando who came along and defeated Gideon FOR HER while doing something entirely else isn’t extremely glamorous or queenly. Especially since Din immediately offered it to her (IN FRONT OF WITNESSES, one of whom works with Boba, whom Bo-Katan JUST INSULTED). People are gonna be like “Wait, what’s that guy’s deal?”. It’s gonna make her look weak. It’s gonna make her look like she got offered the darksaber by Din out of charity. Not exactly what you want from a strong ruler in a time of crisis. Her rule would be constantly challenged, bc every idiot out there would be like “Well, if any rando can just take the darksaber from her, why don’t I try?”

And even if Din hands her the darksaber and walks away, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have a claim on it. Bo-Katan doesn’t know Din very well. He’d always haunt her (lol). He’s a wildcard to her. What if he changes his mind and comes back for it? That’d be a huge loose end for Queen Bo-Katan.

Her best bet is to keep Din close and just... contend with him. His is a good story, for people who like a Space Arthurian Myth. There’s a post out there about how he’s the quintessential Mandalorian, with his pure beskar and heart full of Love For Foundling. People would like the look of him as Mand’alor, is what I’m saying. Also he has this wild talent for taking unfriendly strangers and turning them into best friends and heist partners/babysitters, always a good thing to have. He’s a Friend To All. Tusken puppies come up to him on sight. Little blue birds help him put on his beskar’gam in the morning. He’s a disney princess. Politically speaking, Din could look like a fresh start for Mandalore, a guy who belongs to none of the established clans, who has no baggage from any old feuds or civil wars but still embodies Mandalorian values.

(And I have thoughts on that, too. Like why didn’t he just become a Vizsla like the people who rescued him? Why does he get to make his own clan? Tinfoil hat is ON)

The thing is, if Bo-Katan has any sense, she probably realizes Din can be useful to her. It’s not illegal for her to take the darksaber from him, but she can’t right now because it’d make her look extremely bad. Right now she’ll probably want to stick by him and hope she can convince him to work with her.

So Bo-Katan needs Din. And Din, if he’s really doing this, will need her, just as an advisor, because it turns out there’s a lot about Mandalorian society he doesn’t know. The teamwork is gonna be teeth-clenched at best, and a case of “You’re coming to reclaim Mandalore with me // Hand in unlovable hand” at Worst

[onyxiana-is-obsessed]

hey! i hope it’s ok if i send a request here! (also, my english it’s not the best sorry TT). could you do a fem reader x bakugou where she’s like sUper powerful and competitive, so they’re always fighting for who’s the best lol. she also loves to annoy him for fun bc it’s funny when he’s angry lol. and then one day baku realizes “i? like?? her??? lol nah, impossible.” but then his friends notice that he’s been less competitive around her and annoy him until he asks her out. love your writing! xx

Hello! This was a pretty cute request and I had fun writing it! I hope you liked it! Normally I wouldn’t choose your quirk for you, but I ended up doing it here. I don’t have an instance where you use it, so you can change it to whatever you like. I’ve also decided to try titling these things so my master list doesn’t look bland. So far, I hate where it’s sitting. Pronouns used: She/her Length: 1.5k

Full Name: (y/f/n) Quirk: Soul Barrage; the user has the ability to create powerful shields/barriers that when destroyed, deal damage to enemies. The user can also turn their soul energy into powerful beams of destructive energy. Age: 16

Attraction

Katsuki Bakugou thought he hated (y/f/n). She was annoying, she always messed with him, and not to mention they constantly fought each other. Though he wouldn’t admit it, her powerful quirk schooled him almost every other time.

Katsuki knew he was the best and (f/n) wasn’t going to prove him wrong. He came to UA to become the best hero, to become number 1. She wasn’t gonna get in his way, no matter how impressive that stupid quirk of hers was.

“Hey, Kacchan!” (f/n) giggled as she ran up behind Bakugou. He felt the fury build up as his face turned red from anger but he kept walking.

“Stop calling me that!” She really likes to push his buttons and he learned that early on. Because of her powerful defense quirk, she wasn’t very scared of him.

(f/n)’s quirk was called Soul Barrage. It let her turn her own soul energy into powerful protective barriers, which also had the capability of exploding and causing damage to the enemy. That wasn’t all, however. (f/n) also had the ability to turn that same energy into light beams from her hands which allowed her to destroy anything nearby. The destruction heavily depended on the amount of energy she put in.

(f/n) had the perfect counter to Katsuki’s quirk and she wasn’t afraid to show it. (f/n)’s barriers were powerful and could withstand quite a bit of abuse, which with effort, Katsuki could destroy. But if he did manage to shatter the shield, its destruction was followed by an explosion. Something Katsuki couldn’t counter.

“Or what Kacchan?” She asked, making him growl and turn around. Katsuki’s hand was aimed at (f/n)’s face and he let loose an explosion. (f/n) flinched but her barrier was up immediately, causing her no damage. After a moment, she burst into laughter infuriating the blonde even more.

However, Katsuki opted to shove his hands in his pockets and walk away. (f/n) did all of this to get a reaction out of him and he always gave her one. That frustrated him even more! Maybe if her stupid eyes weren’t so beautiful, he wouldn’t want them to look at him even more.

What?

Katsuki came to a halt in front of his classroom door as he tried to process his own thoughts. Did… did he just think that (f/n)’s eyes were… beautiful?

No.

No.

Hell no. Over his dead body would he think her stupid eyes were beautiful. Nope.

***

“Hey, Kacchan?” Katsuki rolled his eyes at the familiar female voice behind him. He didn’t even bother answering her and kept walking towards the cafeteria when she called out again. “Kacchan? Come on, Suki! I’m trying to talk to you!”

“What?!” He asked, abruptly turning around and glaring at the girl behind him. She sighed and crossed her arms.

“Let’s fight.”

“What?”

“Did I stutter? I said let’s fight. Spar with me.”

“I don’t have time for you shit, dumbass.” This time, (f/n) rolled her eyes as she followed him.

“I’m not messing around, I’m serious. Fight me.” She went on a little tangent but Katsuki just drowned her out as he kept walking, refusing to give her any attention. Her angelic voice was pretty hard to ignore though.

Woah.

Katsuki came to a halt and his eyes widened. Again? What the hell was wrong with him?! With a loud growl, Katsuki turned around and flared at (f/n).

“For once in your life can you be anything but a nuisance?!” He could tell that hurt a little, but that expression quickly disappeared and (f/n) shrugged, walking off.

For the rest of the day, all Katsuki could think about was how… not ugly (f/n) looked that day. She… her hair looked… decent. It was annoying and he wanted to stop! She wasn’t that special! She wasn’t anything. She was just another stepping stone on his way to being the number one hero.

“Hey, Kacchan! You’re staring again.” Katsuki’s eyes widened as he looked over to Kaminari, who had a huge smile on his face. He blinked and realized he’d been staring at (f/n) this entire time!

“No, I wasn’t Pikachu!” He grumbled, his eyes looking down at his food. No, he wasn’t, he was looking behind her! Why would he want to look at her?!

“You like her don’t you?” Kaminari teased, making Katsuki glare at him.

“No, I don’t, dumbass!”

“You sure?  You stare at her a lot and you’re not as competitive with her. You let her get away with quite a bit of stuff.” Kirishima commented, taking a sip from his drink.

“You like her! You like her! You like her!” Kaminari and Mina chanted, making Katsuki growl.

“I do not!” However, for the rest of the day, Katsuki wasn’t able to get their words out of his head. Could… he like her? Was that a possibility? He didn’t like people in general, so why would be romantically interested in some stupid girl? These dumb thoughts were even more annoying than her.

***

“Hey, Kacchan!” Katsuki immediately grumbled at the voice as (f/n) ran up to him and clung to his arm. He tried to pry it out of her grasp, but she held on tightly. “So! About that sparring match of yours! We should do it this weekend! I was thi-”

“NO!” He yelled as he shoved her off and glared at her. “I don’t want to spar with you. Now leave me alone.” Of course, she didn’t and followed after him as he walked towards his class.

“Why not?”

“I don’t have time.” That was a lie, but the less time he spent around her, the better.

“Oh come on, you always have time to fight someone! Hell, you made time to fight Izu that one night!”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Hey, answer me! What’s been up with you lately? You’ve been so weird!”

“Go away, idiot!”

“I’m just trying to ask-” Katsuki abruptly stopped and glared at her, a type of glare that even she hadn’t seen before.

“No.” With that, he walked away leaving (f/n) standing in the halls, confused and a little unnerved.

***

“Just ask her out!” Kirishima exclaimed for the umpteenth time as Katsuki still denied his attraction towards (f/n). All of his friends knew and they were desperately trying to get him to ask her out. It was like pulling teeth with him! It was painfully obvious that Katsuki had a crush on (f/n), but he refused to do anything about it. All because of his dumb pride.

“I don’t like her!”

“Yes, you do!” Sero argued, his own frustrations getting to him. “You like her and it’s ok! Just ask her out!” They had been going at this for almost an hour now and they weren’t the only ones getting frustrated.

“Fine! Fine! I’ll ask her out! Now shut up and leave me alone about it!” Mina, Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima sighed in relief, falling onto their backs on the ground. Katsuki rolled his eyes at their antics and mentally prepared himself for rejection.

***

(f/n) was sitting in her room, doing her homework when she heard loud banging on her door. She jumped at the loud sound invading the silence of her room and quickly stood up. Opening her door, she saw her favorite blond waiting outside.

“Hey, Kacchan!” She greeted him with a bright smile, which he tried to ignore. She looked pretty damn cute in that outfit of hers. His eyes slowly slid down her body as he took in her form. They trailed back up, to meet her curious eyes which widened as she realized what he’d done. A blush appeared on her cheeks which almost made him smirk.

“Go out with me.” He said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Wh-what?”

“You heard me. Go out with me.” Was… that a request? Seemed more like a demand.

“I-I um… wh-what?” It was clear that (f/n) wasn’t grasping the concept here and it made Katsuki sigh in frustration. He wasn’t sure if she liked him or not, but he was going to take his chance. Taking a deep breath, he took a step forward. He gently pushed (f/n) into her room, closed the door behind her, and pressed his lips against hers.

Unlike his personality which was rough and harsh, his kiss was the exact opposite. It was soft, gentle, it wasn’t demanding, and it was very hesitant. (f/n)’s body stiffened, but within seconds, her eyes fluttered closed and she melted into his touch.

Her lips moved against his slowly and carefully, meaning she was also scared to make a mistake. His hands landed on her hips, pulling her closer as her arms wrapped around his neck.

The kiss wasn’t too long and they pulled away, staring at each other with red faces.

“Will you go out with me, (f/n)?” She smiled, the words finally making sense in her head.

“Of course, Kacchan.”

[dexpairs-blog]

My MC Ciel and Beelzebub headcanons

I'm bored so take this lol. Reminder that this hcs are PLATONIC. also, it's probably not all about Beel but uh,, idc. It also contains some general headcanons. I'm gonna do proper hcs for him maybe later lol

TW: mentions of trauma, Ch.16 related issues, cursing, Ciel being petty?? (idk ).

ah yes, ✨SOFT BIG BOY HOURS✨

At first Ciel was a little intimidated by him, because he's HUGE.

They bond over food, the First time they talked Beel asked them if they had food and they pulled out a bag with 20 cherryXplosion (it's a popular candy in Italy, it's also my favourite lol) and they shared it.

Also, when Beel got mad at Mammon for eating his custard he never touched Ciel, he never laid a finger on them.

He saw Mammon showing the custard in their mouth and Ciel refusing to swallow it bc it wasn't theirs.

He still destroyed their room tho rip-

When they shared a room it was kinda awkward lol, but they got along almost immediately. They started talking about foods and he learned that they were really picky because of their sensory issues.

So now when he know there's something they don't like HE'S WILLING TO TRADE, he trades something from his plate he knows they like with said food. He also learns how to cook foods in certain ways so they don't have a "yucky texture" as Ciel says.

Ciel Is so grateful for that🥺 they make him pasta, HOMEMADE pasta and HOMEMADE bolognese sauce as a thanks. Oop he's a fan of their cooking now.

Their relationship is really wholesome, they're just babies being babies.

After the pact with him they can be seen hanging out togheter often, he likes to carry Ciel around on his shoulders.

HIS HUGS ARE SO SOFT AND GENTLE 😭💕 while Ciel likes to squeeze him with all of their strenght he's really gentle with them. Baby boy know he could crush them if he's not careful.

He thinks it's adorable the fact that Ciel squeezes him as hard as they can but it doesn't affect him in the slightest, they're so tiny compared to him🥺

Ciel likes playing with his hands, they're huge. Sometimes when they get distracted at rad meetings they absentmindedly reach for his hand comparing it to their tiny one, HAJDYEKHDIS IT'S SO CUTE OH MY GOSH AAAA.

They like to cup their cheeks with his hands for the same reason, his hand alone is just as big as their skull lol.

The brothers are jealous now-- now their all take turns to play with Ciel's cheeks AAAAA 😔

Dia also joins, don't leave him out 😡

Lol the meeting is completely forgotten now, they're all playing with their cheeks and tiny hands👀

This is what you get for being baby Ciel😡 jk jk-

The other side characters may or may not get involved as well.

Ok now some angst-

After the incident™ Ciel locked themselves in their room for a while and only got out for breakfast, rad, lunch and dinner.

Y'know, they just fucking witnessed their own death. And got almost killed for the 5/6th time, it's obvious that this kid had a lot of trauma to internalize.

After two weeks of this they just moved to purgatory hall, Lucifer was being bitchy bc their grades were getting lower.

Beel felt horrible, he knew it wasn't his fault but he couldn't help to blame himself for this.

Belphie felt even worse, the whole House of Lamentation was a chaos when they left.

At first they didn't seem to realize how badly this whole thing affected the poor child, they slowly realized as the time passed.

They all felt like monsters not realizing that they not only made Ciel internalize so much trauma, but they also wanted them to act as if nothing happened AND the fact that they're Lilith descendant.

Meanwhile at purgatory hall, Ciel vented to Simeon and Solomon. They preferred to leave Luke out of this.

They stayed there for almost a month, Simeon basically became their therapist and so did Barbatos.

The healed from this pretty quickly thanks to them and Solomon and Luke distracting them.

For the time they were there they shared a bed with Luke, simeon didn't want them to sleep on the couch despite Ciel protesting and saying that it wasn't a big deal.

Ciel and Luke have matching pajamas you can fight me on this.

They also helped everyone around the dorm, Simeon had to do the laundry? Cool, can i help?(they ended up Just watching bc it was confusing-), Solomon do you need help with the dishes?, Luke lemme help you make dinner! Actually, why don't you just sit and relax? I'll do it for you!

Tbh Simeon and Solomon were surprised, Lucifer always complained about how messy they were or how they never helped him. (Lmao it's actually bc of his attitude- cause if you ask them they're always willing to help) and yes, they were messy but they try their best ok?

Also, they need Simeon ironing their clothes because they can't do it. Or they need Solomon to help them with the washing machine. They need help with the 'adult stuff' as they call it.

Simeon please teach this child how to fold clothes in the right way, their clothes are always full of wrinkles😫

At some point they just straight up go to Barbatos to help them with these things.

Ciel calls Simeon 'mom' unironically, Solomon jokes about it but they both don't care. He thinks it's so sweet🥺 him? A mom? He's soft. Solomon also thinks It's cute.

Lmao they influenced Luke and he does it too. He did it once by mistake and he's flustered lol.

Speaking of Luke, they always try to be a good example for him. Simeon really appreciates that, he's so grateful that they know where it's time to act mature.

That's why they're always the first option when he needs someone to babysit Luke.

BACK WITH THE BOYS

They all came to purgatory hall to apologize. Even LUCIFER and he was CRYING, him CRYING.

Ciel forgave them but they still stayed for a bit longer, they were still so uncomfortable around Belphegor.

At least they get to hang out togheter!

When they hang out it's just the two of them at first. They are still good friends and they helped him cope in a healthier way instead of stress-eating.

Belphie and Ciel actually became friends towards the end of the year, yes they made the pact during Diavolo's birthday party but they still didn't hang out much.

As i previously said, Ciel was petty at him, they would do everything to make him upset. By hogging Beel 24/7 to straight up pour a bucket of ice on his face when he's napping.

They would only smirk and say "now we're even" and then leave. He noticed how they would act tough around him even tho they were literally shaking in their boots and flinching every time he got close.

The kid has guts, he respects that.

They only stopped when they were told that it would also affect Beel, they felt bad.

From them on they just straight up avoided him.

Lucifer got fed up and locked them in a room togheter.

they both vented, and eventually Ciel forgave him completely.

Now Beel, Belphie and Ciel all hangout togheter :)

Happy Beel noises

Turns out Ciel and Belphie have a similar sense of humor

Beel is glad that their family is back togheter🥺

All of the brothers remind Ciel that they care about them a lot and not because of the fact they're Lilith's descendant, they constantly remind this to them.

Beel is always the one picking Ciel up from therapy, Lucifer decided it's best for them to see a therapist after this whole thing.

He was right. They go regularly and it helps a lot.

They go get ice cream togheter 😎

Sometimes Belphie joins too

Now Ciel and Belphie are always talking about running away togheter with Beel

LOL

Beel is glad their family got a new younger sibling.

Also, Beel, Belphie and Ciel have naps togheter, fight me.

Ciel is the little spoon, they just get squeezed between the two demons, it makes them feel safe.

[locktobre]

gonna ramble a bit about Landen and Roxana’s first meeting bc it is on my mind lately and also it’s an excuse to talk about Rip some more lmao

it happens in 2029. by this point, Rip’s friend Thorna has become essentially an ambassador between Gloss Angeles and the Fairytopia mainland, bc some ppl do want contact between the two and they’re trying to figure out how to handle the whole thing. Landen’s one of those ppl, and so is his grandfather Farran. anyway, bc of that, Landen spends a fair amount of time with Thorna, and bc of her and his grandpa (who actually arrested Rip back in the day), he knows all about Rip and the whole situation and it occurs to him that, technically, Rip is still considered a criminal by the city of Gloss Angeles.

now, Rip’s been back on Earth for 17 years at this point, and nobody has really thought about that much. there have been no further magical disturbances that can be traced back to him, and as Farran has told Landen, they have no proof that Rip actually caused anything he was accused of before. if anything, he may have exacerbated a problem that already existed, but there was never any conclusive proof on the matter. so the whole thing was bs from the beginning, but that’s not really what Landen cares about--he’s concerned that someone might who, say, doesn’t want Gloss Angeles and Fairytopia to reunite might bring up the fact that it’s the same guy causing problems. or that Rip could be turned into a scapegoat in another way, the way he was before, and if anyone cared to point it out, the man is still technically a criminal. and since Graciella is a passion fairy, she could be pretty easily whipped into a frenzy (the same way her mom was before her when they went after Rip the last time) and convinced to, like, try again to get rid of the guy.

when Landen points this out, Thorna and Farran agree it’s a valid concern, so now they have to decide how to handle it. Landen wants to issue Rip an official pardon, but he’s not sure if they can point out the fact that Rip didn’t actually do anything wrong without pissing ppl off. and an official pardon means a ceremony, which means bringing attention to this thing that he doesn’t want ppl to think about in the first place, so he’s kind of torn about it. but it’s basically the best option they can think of to try to nip this in the bud before it becomes anything. Farran and Thorna aren’t really sure, but they think they should talk to Rip and see what he thinks, and Landen’s always wanted to meet the guy so he’s like yes let’s do that please thank you.

so they head over to the Summers house. Rip is... slightly concerned to see three fairies at his house. obviously he knows Thorna and has been friends with her for over 30 years; he knows Farran, who he’s not quite friends with but they’re actually on okay terms; and then there’s a new kid he’s never seen before. and the new kid is a prince, which worries him, but he trusts Thorna (and kinda Farran) enough that he lets them in and they all sit down to talk.

Calissa and Roxana also sit in for this, Calissa for emotional support and Roxana bc she doesn’t trust fairies (not even Thorna, really). and when Landen explains why he’s there, Roxana gets pissed, bc she adamantly believes that Rip did nothing wrong. and Landen’s like I know that but-- and Roxana just really does not want to listen, bc she thinks accepting the pardon is Rip admitting fault, which he shouldn’t have to do, and Landen tries to point out it’s actually the city admitting fault and she’s like but I thought that wasn’t part of it? that’s what you said, right? you can’t admit that you were wrong without pissing ppl off? and she basically think he’s a coward and that going anywhere near the fairies is just going to paint another target on Rip’s back and that they should get the hell out.

and Rip’s like, I really appreciate you saying that Xana but can you not please bc they do have a legitimate point here. and Rip knows if anything is going to paint a target on his back, it’s the fact that he really wants the masquerade to go away completely and for fairies (and mermaids, and basically all magic) to be out in the open, so he’s kinda gonna have to deal with them in the future, anyway. (he hasn’t really wanted to reach out on the subject, but now that he’s met Landen he thinks it’s as good a time as any to test the waters...)

anyway, Calissa trusts Rip’s judgement, but Roxana thinks it’s a huge mistake, but she can’t really convince Rip of that. so they go ahead with the pardon and the ceremony, and Roxana just hates Landen for bringing it all up, even if it all goes really smoothly, bc they were fine how they were and now she’s anxious thinking about her dad consorting with fairies again and ppl remembering what he “did” and it’s all Landen’s fault. (Farran’s and Thorna’s, too, but they’re adults, so she doesn’t really want to fight with them. but since Landen’s only a year older than her, she just focuses all her anger on him.)

and Landen is a passion fairy like his mother, but he makes every effort to regulate his moods and not behave as she does. he meditates and tries to be generally mindful of his moods and everything, but it’s extra hard when Roxana is basically trying to get him to fight with her. so he just keeps trying to be nice to her and prove like, hey, I don’t have any ulterior motives, I’m on your dad’s side, I’m even gonna try to help him figure out this masquerade thing, are you ever gonna believe me or is it just gonna be like this forever?

and it probably would have continued like that until her parents point out that she’s being pretty immature and doesn’t she want to become Queen of Oceana in a couple years? and if she wants to prove she’s mature enough to do that, please for the love of god stop fighting with this guy. you don’t have to like him! but nobody is forcing you to be around him! so cut it out! and, of course, being Queen of Oceana is Roxana’s dream so she does stop (with some difficulty, bc she’s 16 and full of rage).

she does just straight-up avoid him for awhile until she has genuinely calmed down and realized she was being pretty childish. and at that point she thinks that her parents would think she was really mature if she managed to actually talk to him. nobody forcing her, just her trying to get along with somebody she doesn’t like, the same thing she’s gonna have to do as queen (and like, in life in general, but she really really really wants to prove she’s capable of being queen). also the guy’s a passion fairy and she never set him off so maybe he knows how to stop being full of rage all the time and can give her some tips.

for his part, Landen’s kind of surprised bc he had just accepted the fact that he was never gonna get on Roxana’s good side, but he is happy to share what he knows. (he does not actually know how to stop being full of rage, but he does have some breathing exercises to try.) and from there, they actually start to get along, somewhat. it’s still a long road but within a few years they are genuine friends, which everyone is surprised by, bc everyone figured (half correctly) that Roxana was just doing it to prove a point and would drop the act when she became queen lol. but no! unlikely friends for real.

anyway I think their first meeting used to be a little different, but I’m happy with where I’ve landed now. I may change my mind in the future again but I think this illustrates their current personalities better.

[live-laugh-larceny]

More small-ish Logan angst moments because why not

1.

It always struck me as a little odd that Janus had to prompt Logan to share his own opinion in the courtroom scene. Patton, Virgil, Roman, and Janus himself were all quite vocal about what they wanted for themselves as well as Thomas, but Logan only spoke from Thomas’s perspective until Janus specifically asked “what are your thoughts on the matter?”. Logan always puts Thomas first, even if it doesn’t always seem like it. Logan had no problem revealing his calendar with the callback scheduled, but said his bit about how “having two less* (friends) wouldn’t be so bad” under his breath. It’s like he was weary of Patton and Virgil hearing and berating him/making him out to be part of the “problem”.

*Logan made a grammatical error here. He should have said “fewer”, not “less”. This is in line with him occasionally making those kinds of mistakes (remember “conversate”??? :D)

Also also I think Lo was so stiff/serious during his time on the stand bc it was Very Important so he was going to be Professional and that’s honestly kind of adorable

2.

I’ve mentioned this briefly before, but Logan’s first line in DWIT is “what do you need?” He knows he was only summoned because Roman felt like he had no other choice. :(((( And then Patton and Virgil immediately shut him down when he tried to help (yknow, until he finally persuaded them to listen... to Thomas)

3.

ONE COMPLIMENT FROM THOMAS MAKES LOGANS ENTIRE WEEK(?)!!! I don’t know how long the gap was btwn DWIT and the Asides but LOGAN’S STILL SO HAPPY ABOUT IT IN THE ASIDES

4.

This one might be a reach sorry. But at the v beginning of POF, Logan states that dealing with regret and ~stuff in the past~ “isn’t really [his] area of expertise”. Because he did try to deal with the past in Moving On and kind of fucked up. So now he’s minimizing his participation to avoid making that same mistake...

5.

The whole Logan and Roman fight in LNTAO that we can only understand in the bonus clip at the end of that one bloopers vid. I kinda forget which one :/ This does not mean all of Logan’s actions in LNTAO were completely ok or anything but it really makes me feel for him- Roman was going off on Logan, repeatedly insulting/interrupting him, and Logan didn’t lash out. He was stuttering and trying to come up with a way to defend himself (and uttered a few insults himself in the process) but no one else was listening. Throwing the paper ball at Roman was a result of Logan finally hitting his breaking point. He had kept himself composed for a decently long time without getting outwardly mad, we just don’t see it. And Patton, Virgil, and Thomas assume Logan lashing out was a v immediate thing when it kind of wasn’t.

6.

This last one is less of an angst moment and more of an angsty observation. Logan’s literal nature is a huge roadblock for him when he tries participate in emotional discussions. This is shown pointedly in the Asides with the bridge metaphor- Logan misses the beginning and assumes that the others are talking about a literal crumbling bridge, which very slightly hindered his ability to offer any useful advice on the situation. No one bothered to explain it to him afterword because they had already reached a tenuous resolution. I love when characters take things literally bc it’s hilarious (like Peridot) but that moment in the Asides wasn’t really played for humor imo. It was there to point out Logan’s inability to communicate effectively in certain situations. Virgil even has this whole bit about how “[Logan’s] so literal I don’t know what [he’s] asking” I feel like this will probably come into play later...

[and it also fuels my angsty hc that the Sides will be having a very intense discussion that starts delving into hella metaphors, and when someone (Virgil, maybe?) finally asks for Logan’s thoughts Logan will have to admit he has no fucking idea what they’re talking about (bonus angst: at this point, Logan gets that they’re using metaphors but he still can’t apply them to the current situation, which makes him even more frustrated bc he should be smart enough to figure this out but He Can’t. ok I’m done w my self-indulgent angsty bullshit lol)]

7.

YOU GUYS THE PUZZLE SONG WAS A FUCKING METAPHOR LOGAN DIDNT UNDERSTAND IT (I feel like I might have seen this before so apologies if I unintentionally stole someone’s post)

Also I guess I lied about 6 being the last one :D

I think I’m done now ur welcome(?) Thanks for going along with my bs

[jimlingss]

pt.2 of yesterday

I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!

anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)

“this is madness” LOL

You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!

anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)

Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)

while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon

You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>

Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1

Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2

Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3

Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4

Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5

Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.

((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))

backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.

asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!

youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.

oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL

Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓

Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)

joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️

LOOOOOOOL

haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.

Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.

The me in ten years will certainly be better now.

Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤

Thank you :’]

Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all

Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗

LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild. 

bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)

tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.

[kaisooficrec]

College AU Request

This is part two of this post. 

Last college au request was over a year ago and since this is a very popular au the list is insanely long! There are some fics older than the last req but that weren’t recommended yet so I included those too ^^ enjoy and don’t forget to leave kudos & comments to the authors ♡♡♡

La Taille Parfaite - (ongoing) soulmates au, kyungsoo dreams of his soulmate’s dick and can’t wait to meet him

Criminally Romantic - kyungsoo is an author and jongin is a huge fan

Yes, the Brisket is Braised - (ongoing) Kyungsoo works part-time in a restaurant in which he meets the campus’ most popular jock jongin and is an asshole to him

Our Season - (ongoing) wolf & abo, they’re in the same frat house and are attracted to each other, but there are other guys who want a piece of kyungsoo’s ass (read: junmyeon is a little piece of shit)

The Deflowering of Do Kyungsoo - (ongoing) kyungsoo is very insecure about himself but jongin loves him and wants to show him just how much 

Sucker + Supermassive Black Hole - last two parts of a series where the boys are in college, established relationship, they deal with the struggles of life and how to keep their love going

Flawless - (ongoing) kyungsoo likes to crossdress which make people judgmental about him. he thought jongin was like all those people who make fun of him but jongin genuinely likes him

this gap can’t keep us apart - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in college and takes the bus every morning where he meets businessman!jongin and they start talking and getting close. turns out jongin is sehun’s older brother who is kyungsoo’s friend and they meet at their house when jongin discovered his girlfriend cheated on him again

Prank Gone Wrong - kai is a known prankster, so his bf ksoo decides to prank him instead one day. it backfires in a way he didn’t expect

Coffee - jongin found out taemin cheated on him which led him to the cafe where kyungsoo works~

Wild Flowers Worth Knowing - (ongoing) ot12 vampire au, kyungsoo’s life has changed for good after discovering vamp!jongin’s secret

i just need the time and place to come through - after ksoo’s been dumped jongin wants to teach how to fuck around, until he realizes he doesn’t want anyone else to have kyungsoo but him

run batted in - sports au, they’re from different colleges and during a competition they meet and voilà it’s instant love

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in a studio art class and jongin is his nude model

lately all i want is you on top of me - *cries hearts* they both think they’re straight until jongin accidentally sends a pic of his ass to kyungsoo and it marks the beginning of their gayness

Campaigning For Your Heart - elections au, enemies to lovers, they both support different people and get into heated arguments, which is all just bottled up sexual tension really

there are no wrong mistakes - /heart attack/ kyungsoo is a homebody who’s quiet and thinks he is boring. his roommate’s best friend thinks otherwise. 

Pay Me Some Mind - (how was this not recced before? lol) fwb to lovers, kyungsoo doesnt know jongin’s had a crush on him for a while but that doesn’t stop him from catching feelings

Hurricanes - *my absolute fav* bad boy!jongin meets not-so-innocent!soo and they fuck, but kyungsoo thinks its a mistake and jongin is intrigued (liiiight angst)

You times infinite - they become study buddies and then kyungsoo is turned into a vampire and doesn’t know how to stay close to jongin without hurting him

A Certain Romance - sports au, they’re from different schools but during a competition, a certain captain catches ksoo’s attention and maybe he’s interested in football after all

Signal Lost (& Found) - /looooove this/ soulmates & coffee shop au, jongin gets tattoos of what his soulmate draws since he was a child and then one day it disappears, and he’s confused about what happened to his soulmate

Just Say You Want Me (That’s All It Takes) - god yes. established relationship and library fucking with top!soo and slut shaming. need i say more?

A Different Morning - (YEEEES) childhood bffs!kaisoo and vlogger!jongin, MUTUAL PINING but they’re both oblivious!!! 

Break a Leg - drama club au i liiiive for this! they had a one night stand and ksoo is kind of a bitter asshole who doesn’t want anything to do with super popular jongin after it

vertigo; crash - abo, omega!soo is accidentally put in the alpha dorms and jongin thinks he hates him

Clandestine Romance - arranged marriage but they love each other, ksoo is in his last year of college and his husband turns up to become his new dance teacher

Pumped Up Kinks - (ongoing) kyungsoo goes to a gay strip club for his 21st birthday and gets more than he bargained for

We Can Go Home - broken kaisoo, jongin has to ask his ex for help in maths, and then... KISS & MAKE UP

Mirrors - (ongoing) ksoo is a famous youtuber whose fans start a online fanwar with kim jongin’s fans. he decides to be mature about it and text jongin himself to apologize

So You Have a Crush (Here's How You Grapple with It) - sports au, jongin is a taekwondo player and has a crush on the judo captain ksoo, and tries to get him to teach him chokehold techniques. (smutttt)

Hair - (ongoing) kyungsoo found out he has stage 2 spinal cancer, so he decides that he wants to take some risks before he has to die, like have sex with a guy. and this is how he meets jongin

If Only I Knew - soulmates au, jongin wants to wait to find his soulmate to be in a relationship but when he meets kyungsoo he changes his mind (warning: character death)

Some Kind of Start - ksoo likes jongin and the latter knows but chooses to ignore it since he doesn’t like him back. sehun asks ksoo to fake date so he can make junmyeon jealous, but jongin is also a victim of jealousy

hold onto me tight and never let go - het!kaisoo with fem!soo, she has trouble letting go of her barriers and jongin really wants to get to know her more

P.S. You're Cute - (ongoing) jongin liked his senior’s profile on tinder and they matched

Cloud9 - transition from hs to college, jongin expressed his crush for ksoo although nothing happened, they meet again five years later in college

Perfection - vocal major!ksoo meets dance major!nini and decides he likes him and will take care of him

A Slice of Summer Love - jongin has a crush on the pizza delivery guy and orders too much pizza (very cute uwu)

I’m sorry I broke your hand, date me so I can make it up to you (kinda) - jongin tripped during a party and groped ksoo’s ass by accident, and ksoo’s reaction was to break his arm, but he took care of him as a form of apology

Aspartame (Just As Sweet) - jongin’s friend creates him an account on a sugar daddy website as a joke but he was curious and kept it and met kyungsoo

Kim Jongin's Must Kiss List - after an accident during a bake sale in high school, ksoo doesn’t stand jongin. in college nini puts up a “would kiss” list with ksoo’s name on it among others, and an angry ksoo retaliates by putting up a “would never kiss” list with only nini’s name on it, which is the start of everything

Love In Control - bdsm!au in which kyungsoo wanted a partner that would understand his needs and how to dominate him, and that person is kim jongin (warning: obviously bdsm and everything that comes with it. please read the tags carefully!)

No buts, just beauty - wolf au, kyungsoo is bullied and being told he’s ugly, jongin is making sure he feels beautiful

[Ain't] My Fault - top!soo greatness :-) they meet while jongin’s still with sehun but they break up soon after bc sehun cheated on him, and ksoo’s here to pick up the broken pieces

Treasure Trove - dragon au, ksoo is sick n jongin went to his room to give him candy and then they netflix and chill (literally)

Waiting for You to Make a Move - i’m fucking in love with this fic omg ;___; JONGIN IS A DRUM PLAYER and they were crushing on each other during the bus ride in the morning and then ksoo goes to chanyeol’s band’s gig and THERE HE IS JONGIN THAT SEXY MOTHERFUCKER. yes read it please (smut)

This is a start of something new.. - police officer!soo goes to check a college party that wasn’t reported and is stuck with a flirty jongin

Cafe Eau Laid - /sweats profusely/ wolf au and coffee shop au, jongin has a crush on a cute costumer that comes otfen but thinks the friend that comes along is his boyfriend when he’s really just an idiot. (public sex n size kink, you know its good)

My Universe - set in college au but it’s also mama au, jongin is having weird dreams that seem like memories of another life, and dreams of a certain guy that he seems close with.

Sweep You Off Your Feet (Or Mop Around) - kyungsoo works as a janitor at nini’s college to help support his family. they get to know each other and kyungsoo doesn’t tell him he’s not a student but after an incident, he’s fired from the job and has to forget about jongin as well

This is the college au tag for older requests ♡

- Admin Macaroon

[jcylenz]

4, 11, 16, 19 (if you want) 😚⛄🌈

ask meme for muns

4. Can you tell us about your 5 favorite muses?

In alphabetical order, bc I can’t make an actual top list ranking them, but I still need some kind of order.

Alice Fortescue - The one baby I played the longest and in most situations and groups. My actual baby. She is the mother hen of Hogwarts, has a knack to become a martyr for the causes she believes in, she fiercely loves her friends and family and suffers I think one of the most tragic fates in HP altogether.

Darcy Palmer - (tw death) Translator and interpreter who traveled the world and fell in love with a woman high up in a gang (unknowing of all of that) that resulted in her witnessing the murder of the woman she loved, almost dying herself and her own sister getting killed in the process as well. Now she has to make her way through life in witness protection under a completely new name and identity, separated from the rest of her family while having to deal with her demons in the dead of the night.

Glenda Chittock - My tiny baby who started out with her nose in between the pages and who felt more comfortable around books than around people. She barely did anything, barely experienced everything. And then an illness of her little brother opens her eyes and makes her realize that she has to go out and try things. Ans slowly she opens up, can communicate with people more. She has a never-ending knowledge that she always spurs out at people whenever she is nervous. She first works for the Daily Prophet as a journalist, and then eventually realizes that while her rambling doesn’t work in writing, she can’t get her points across, in a medium where she can talk, she can be captivating and interesting, hence why she starts doing her own radio show - which is the only canon fact we know about her.

Heidi Bergen - (tw abuse) Oh boy, where do I even start. This baby went through so much shit in her life to get to where she is. Happy first few years, then being separated from her dickhead father and older brother, her mother practically abandoned her little sister and her so she had to raise her sister. All of this turned into anger that she didn’t know how to handle, isolating her from everyone except for her own sister. She was angry at the world and the world was angry right back at her. She found a release in boxing, but the attitude and the need to push most people away remained - while also clinging to any romantical partner she had with tooth and nail, desperate to find somebody who wouldn’t leave her in the end. Resulted in her being in an abusive relationship that she could barely get out of and after she ran off to halfway across the country to make sure she is really far away from the dude. She’s a kickass criminal defense lawyer and in different versions of her she was either fighting with any kind of clients or specifically protecting crime syndicates.

Isabel de la Vega - My narcissist, self-centered merm whose backstory resembles the little mermaid’s story in many ways, but is so completely different from that fictional character. She arrives to Soapberry, a town where the supernaturals can openly walk around and be themselves, running from her past mistakes and failures and tries to make a new life for herself while also having a superiority in her, a constant need to be right, be the center of attention and not share anything personal about herself.

11. Can you tell us about your favorite ship?

Uhhhh, why are you doing this to me? How am I supposed to choose just ONE? I’m going to cheat and say top 5 here too because I’m horrible and can’t be helped. In alphabetical order, bc I can’t make an actual top list ranking them, but I still need some kind of order.

Alice Fortescue/Amos Diggory (@theeriinyes) - my first Alice ship that started out as a kind of “oh we won’t go there because it’s not canon” and ended up with us absolutely going there because we couldn’t help it. They grew up together, fell in love slowly. He was a playboy, she was the mother hen. He wanted nothing more than to keep his family safe, she wanted to fight in the war beyond reason or logic. They loved each other more than anything and it’s been years and years and I’m still not over them honestly. They had a baby in the mids of the war and after Alice suffered the fateful ending of hers, Amos visits her every day, hoping that she’d wake up one day and remember him and their family. And now lemme just go and weep.

Ariel/Eli - My first ever big otp in RPing. Ariel was my OUAT indie who was struggling with having her memories back, dealing with the real world and the fairy world being so different and wanting to leave Storybrooke to explore and have adventures while not being able to because of the border-amnesia thing, while Eli was a wandered who had a shadow inhabiting his body since he was a kid, they were one and a same at this point and the two of them accidentally met and fell in love and oh boy was it beautiful. I loved them so freaking much and even though I’ve lost touch with the player of Eli since then and it took me incredibly long to even find Ariel’s old blog, I still think about them sometimes and weep over how beautiful they were.

Darcy Palmer/Diego Chavez (@diegojaimechavez) - Honestly they came as a surprise I think to both of us because we originally planned to have a completely platonic relationship between these two, but then they both went and had feelings for one another and there was no stopping them. “Enemies” to friends to lovers where they were forced to work together considering Diego was charged with keeping Darcy safe, so even though they were constantly fighting with each other, they couldn’t just stay away due to their situation, and then slowly they started opening up to one another and realizing their own errors and finding the good and lovable in the other and now they are dummies in love who refuse to admit or say it out loud but still have such huge trust and respect for each other that nobody is breaking that.

Carlota Fuentes/Gianluca Romano (@pedrazamaria​) - I mean, any of our babies could be on here, I could have really just made a list of top 5 just out of our babies but I restrained myself lol. But these two. One is the daughter of the leader of a huge gang while the other is a drug dealer in said gang. They didn’t really notice each other until one night they hook up and then they fall in love without meaning to. One never really looked for love but found it with him, the other was never considered worthy of love until she came along and they were happy. And then shit went down, torture and hatered and misunderstanding and they are pulled apart and for years they barely even interact, only for a family tragedy to bring them close again. Him hurting her on accident, without intent, and then her hurting him back in ways she knows would cause most pain because she is trying to protect her heart. It’s a mess, it’s tragical, they probably should stay away from each other, but they love each other too much to not gravitate back to each other sooner or later.

Alice Fortescue/Evan Mulciber - Unfortunately I can’t tag anyone here either, and I know this looks weird and unnatural to anyone who knows just the tiniest bit about the Marauders Era, but I swear it worked and it was beautiful. Alice was the one who would give the benefit of the doubt to anyone, Evan was the misunderstood antihero, ruthless to most but fiercely protective over those whom he considered family. They dated and were arranged to be married. And then the Mary incident happened and Alice broke things off, but the arranged marriage stayed. They were platonic, but Alice still saw the good in him and he still considered her family. He was impulsive and she tried to think through things, he was blamed for so many things he didn’t actually commit and she saw through the lies and knew he wasn’t to blame. It was complicated and simple all at the same time. And as weird and strange as this pairing sounds, I loved them so, so, so incredibly much.

16. How long have you been roleplaying?

It’s really fucking insane to write it down, but it’s been close to 10 years now. I started RPing around the end of S1 of Vampire Diaries. It was on LiveJournal, I brought Anna back from the dead and played her in a Hungarian RP. After that, I transitioned to Tumblr and did an Ariel OUAT indie for a long while before I fell into the world of groups and the rest is history.

19. What do you miss about old roleplay? (Roleplay before 2017?)

The amount of time I had to dedicate to it. I actually started working in 2017, before that I was in uni and high school and I remember having so much more time on my hand. And with that I miss the speed that I could move plots along. These days a lot of the time I can only get through my replies and then I already have to go to sleep or have other things to do, while before I could just do back and forths almost daily and that was so great. (Then again, back then my replies were mostly like one paragraph long, now I prefer long-ass paras, so that might be a contributing factor in it too.)

[softboyholland]

mj gets knocked up in her last year of college

she goes to harvard and he's mit

so she barely ever sees him

and on top of that, he picks up the whole spidey thing again

so when they reunite things get rlly heated obvs

but then

she gets pregnant w his CHILD SKJKJK

and she finds out like a month before her finals

she keeps it to herself

although she knows the right thing to do is to tell him

but tbh she couldn't even if she wanted to

that’s how busy he is

so now her hormones are x100

and then the daily bugle's front page is of spider-man kissing some girl

WHO IS NOT HER

AND THAT IS THEIR SPECIAL upside-down KISS

ok so great whatever right

it totally does not matter at all that this

GIRL MUST BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL SHE'S EVER SEEN

but whatever

he was probably on the spot so he had to do it

it's fiNEEEE

then they schedule a date

and mj decides that enough is enough

and not telling him that she's carrying his OWN CHILD is a lil stupid

but that date is a disaster

bc for the most part of the date, he only talks about some girl called gwen stacy and some grand scheme between the two of them that she wasn't even listening to

and then in the 20 min mark, something happens and he leaves because he's gtg save the world!! wooo

and whatever she's not even surprised

so she goes home

and from simple googling, she realises that gwen stacy is the same person he kissed the other day

well isn't this rich

so now she's afraid

and she's never been this afraid because WHAT THE FUCK

MAYBE HE WOULDN'T WANT THE KID

and maybe she should abort her child

(that she's already grown attached to) but she doesn’t know that

so she calls liz and tells her about her plan and her dilemma

and liz tells her to take another pregnancy test

because maybe she's been cutting down on all her caffeine for nothing

and liz does that thing that phoebe does to rachel in friends

(for those of u who have never watched friends, liz tells her that the test came back negative and michelle starts tearing up because she's been attached to this baby already and now it's just gone so she's crying but then liz says that she lied and that the test is actually positive and michelle realises thats she wants to keep the baby)

and they both scream when they realise that there's a tiny smol growing inside of her

and michelle is crying omg

but then, she has a bigger problem

aka the father of this tiny smol

ok so liz tells her to wait until the whole gwen thing blows over

and that if peter doesn't come to his senses, she's going to take this whole gwen thing into her own hands

but somehow she finds herself looking at her reflection in the mirror, two weeks later

her hair is a greasy, knotted mess, at the top of her head, and there's a teeny tiny bump that most ppl mistake as a food belly there are dark circles under her eyes, and her skin looks rlly dull and her eyes are all red and puffy

then she thinks of gwen and her perfect eyes, and her perfect face and wow!

now she feels like shit

but whatever, she decides

because rn she just needs to get thru her finals

which are in two weeks btw

bc she will find a job and she will be able to support her baby

she knows it

so she studies like hell right

but then she takes like a practice test and she F A I L S

FAILS

MICHELLE JONES NEVER FAILS

and then she finally snaps

because her overbearing parents are going to kill her for getting knocked up by some white boi who doesn't even love her anymore

and now she's never gonna graduate from uni and she'll never be able to support her baby financially

and her parents aren't even going to help her because they'll probably disown her

then peter shows up at her apartment

and she wipes away her tears

but peter isn't stupid

um hELLO??? HE KNOWS WHEN THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE HAS BEEN CRYING

but she goes in for a kiss

and wow! he's missed her so much

then things start getting heated and she pushes him away'

and she decides to break up w him

don'T BLAME HER

HER HORMONES ARE A MESS RN

and then peter gets pissed

because he's stressed too

and don't think he hasn't noticed her distant replies to his snapchats and his texts

SO IT BECOMES A FULL BLOWN FIGHT IN HER APARTMENT

AND THEN FINALLY HE LEaves

and maybe the hinges on her door are a little loose bc of him slamming it so hard

but don't be fooled he never actually L E A V E S ???

like duh

he just stands outside her apartment and listens to the faint sobs coming from inside

and although he wants nothing more than to go back inside and to apologise and hug her, he knows that it's only going to make things worse

so he calls ned

when ned gets there, they spend 10 mins silently arguing outside of her apartment

then finally ned goes in

and well when peter slams the door behind him, mj breaks down

because her life has officially gone to shit

and she calls liz and liz is telling her to calm down and that she'll be there asap

but when the door bursts open and ned comes walking in

she decides that this is probably liz's work??

and when ned hugs her, she doesnt say anything but she subconciously holds her belly

then ned looks down at her and he's like

are u on ur period dood

bc maybe this is just a hormone-induced fight and peter's making a huge deal out of it

but she takes one look at her belly and starts crying again bc she's reminded of her situation

ned, as oblivious as ever, hugs her until she stops crying

so when peter hears mj crying again as he nervously paces outside her apartment

he groans and nearly hits liz

wait

liz toomes allen??

what's she doing here

then he remembers that oh ya right she's close to mj

and the first thing she does is hit peter across the head

gr8

"that's for hurting mj"

and then mj caves and tells ned everything

and finally, she gets around to the pregnancy part

NED'S CRYING NOW

BECAUSE OMG HE'S ONLY EVER DREAMt OF SPIDEYCHELLE GETTING PREGNANT

but then he subtly texts peter

'DUDE GET UR BUTT OVER HERE NOW, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.'

but no reply because well, he's too busy fuckin having a heart-to-heart w liz

turns out that the whole gwen stacey thing was a scheme

bc gwen stacy was losing her job at the daily bugle and her boss is only interested in spider-man shit

so gwen, his childhood best friend before ned, who knows about his secret identity, offered him a job at the bugle in exchange for some news

and they kissed at some public event and now peter isn't in debt anymore because he has cash

also gwen is gay lol

eventually liz and ned leave

and peter is still contemplating leaving mj alone but he ends up falling asleep on her doorway like a creepy creep-creep

then he's woken up at 12 am bc of his spidey senses

and he bursts thru the door and finds mj on the floor, clutching onto her belly as if her life depended on it and there's a hint of tears in her eyes

now mj doesn't have spidey senses like peter so she has no idea that he's been outside her door for the past 2 hrs

so he helps her up

and then she's like 'sorry, i fell and i landed on my butt and i nearly thought i lost em-'

peter nods because thATS TOTALLY A NORMAL SENTENCE YES VERY-

wait

'you lost what?"

MJ PANICS

welp here goes

then she leads him to the couch

"pls don't freak out."

"that's what you said when you first kissed me so..."

"ok, well, um, remember that night after the uh the battle in manhattan.."

peter smiles

BECAUSE BOYYYYYYY, DOES HE REMEMBER THAT NIGHT

PHEW THAT WAS LEGENDARY

"right ok, so you know there was a lot of tension, and urgency, i guess we kind of forgot to use uh protection."

she gauges his reaction

but he seems normal

she takes a deep breath because wow she's really saying those words

"peter, i'm pregnant."

and he's still nodding along in understanding

jesus christ

but then his eyes widen and

wait

"holy shit! y-you're um, wow! wait, is it mine?"

she smacks his arm

"yes it is, you fuckin idiot! i wouldn't cheat on u!"

"right."

and then silence

"look, i'm keeping them. if you don't want to be involved in this whole...thing, then fine. it's your choice. i'll figure it out on my own, i don't need you any-"

"woah, woah, hold the phone. why are you already taking my child away from me?"

"because, PETER!! i don't think you'd want a baby with me, of all people, after going around and kissing gwen!!! and with your finals coming soon, and with spider-man duties!!!."

"so, that's why you've been so distant! michelle..."

and he explains the whole gwen thing to her and he assures her that he still loves her very much

and that he's been in love w her ever since they were 17 and he still is even when they're 23

"so, you still want to.." and she looks down at her belly

"yeah."

then she starts crying because of her finals and what if she never graduates and she's so glad that he's with her on this

and he kisses her sweetly, her tears on both of their lips, as he tells her that they're going to figure it out together

and that, my friends, is the story of how peter found out about michelle's first pregnancy

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 9 - “He just told me what side of the fence to fall on” - Corey

Well that went my way for sure!! While unanimous, literally five minutes into the warzone I told Ian we have to go after Madison and Jacob. He agreed and then we rallied the troops. Love when a plan works out. 

An alliance called M&M&M was made between Matt, Madison, and I. We were thinking of doing Ian but we didnt want to push too hard because we didnt want to reveal our cards that we had something. I just hope us sacrificing Jacob will be a positive thing for us and not a negative. Im glad theres allinces forming now. Hope i can stay away from warzone this next round but who knows. Im going to try my hardest tho.

help. who knew that my blood revenge for wanting Nehe out resulted in ALL of the other Kilimanjaro reps to be voted off one by one. parting that with chips, there was 5 people repping that season... and now I'm the lone Survivor from that season. pray for me yalls.

Ugh!!! I blame Johnny for this. Scavenger hunt is usually my favorite challenge except the both times im doing it with Johnny :p  these are soooo weird again. Dealing with this challenge and moving my stuff from my apartment on friday/saturday will probably not get me immunity. Im still trying so hopefully everyone else is busy as well. I Curse Johnny but like only a small one. Like him spilling his fries on the floor. 🍟

Hosts: Another Ian confessional, hopefully he shuts up about his idol and actually give some insight into his game. Me: MY IDOL!!!!11!!1 IT IS MINE, MY OWN, MY PRECIOUS. On a real note, I'm not sure if I confessed this round yet that one of the reasons behind the Jacob vote was to put Nar in a numbers advantage should that come into play at anytime.  The point of the premerge phase is to build as many pathways to alliances/mutually beneficial voting blocks as possible that also have a vested interest to vote with you.  I have Maynor asking to be a duo with me, sure yeah man I do like you and hope to work with you deep in this game as someone that can help me cut Corey or Trace if working with them in the game becomes problematic, but I also know Maynor has a vested interest in Kait, which I do like Kait well enough but she can't be allowed to go on a run if I want a chance to make a run myself.  Corey wants to keep our partnership as secret as possible, which yes I do think is smart, it also relies heavily on trust.  At this moment in time I have no reason but to trust Corey.  That may change in the future, he wants to keep it secret, that's chill, but I'm going to have my own backdoor deals should shit hit the fan. Devon/Matt one of them put me as the scapegoat to Jacob, I don't know which and honestly I do not care which one of them it was. They are both standing in my way at this moment for the win.  That could change in the future.  The game is long and full of terrors.

this is it this is the round im goin to the w a r z o n e 

Im safe!!! Im glad cuz tomorrow is graduation party from my parents and didnt wanna attend tribal. But i feel like Drunk Maynor is being cheated out for this season. I dont have my drinking buddies. Maybe this season wont see Drunk Maynor and I could actually be good in this game.

Me: goes to warzone a bunch People in warzone: don’t target me at all ———— Last round: People in warzone: mention my name Me: flips that ish on Jacob REAL quick also me: HA NOT GOING TO WARZONE AGAIN FOR A HOT SEC BEST BELIEVE IM FINALLY IMMUNE. imagine that! I kinda tried for once! and I placed exactly where I needed to hehe.

Thomas is a fucking idiot honestly. Like, he has been to the war zone enough times to know that the WORST possible thing you can do is throw a name out on the first night. Everything always comes together a couple hours before tribal, and by putting names out there this early, he is basically just MAKING SURE that the vote will come down between him and Adrian. For background, Thomas came to me, still butthurt about being called inactive, telling me that he wants to vote Adrian. I am very into that plan, don't get me wrong. Adrian is one person that I have literally nothing in common with. But to come in, guns blazing, this early in the war zone is a HUGE mistake, one that will probably end in a lot of extra stress for Thomas. But, it is good for me, because even though Thomas likes to spill all the tea to me, he is someone that I could very well afford losing. Kait is finally in the war zone. This could also be a pivotal moment because I would be shocked if people do not gun for her this round. I don't really want her out yet because I feel like she's a great shield for the merge, but we shall see what people want. basically, even though I don't really have any of my closest allies in the war zone (ian, Corey, Madison), I might be okay because of Thomas v Adrian, and MAJOR threats being here. The only thing that could fuck me up is if Owen tries to pull something. I do not trust that kid and want him out early merge. But for now I am just trying to lay low and vote with majority.

against all odds, I'm still safe! Warzone looks like a crackden tonight and I'm nowhere near it. I hope Owen makes it out okay. Kait, though chaotic, is someone I'm getting closer to. I would like to have her around until around f9??? we'll see. Same kind of story w Maynor. I need Thomas and Stephen OUT. Timmy as well. They are on my Arya-style kill list. I've been immune for ??? 4 tribals in a row now??? I still have my save vote to use as I have not been to tribal since obtaining it. I have also acquired a rock-save thing that Ian and I dug up together. Basically, if we go to rocks, I can use it to save myself (immune from my rock being picked). Nifty lil power... Hopefully I also get this save vote and don't become the owner of a dead power. After tomorrow's tribal, we'll be final 14. 10 gone. only 11 more to go before I'm in FTC. or 12. I don't care. As long as I'm there in the end. Ideally, with Ian and Owen and I come out victorious. I am playing nice girl, liar AND schemer. The game is outwit, outlast and you can't outwit Corey Rae Jepsen baby! and if you want the truth, this is Corey. I suspect Owen-Kait-Thomas to vote the same way. i expect Adrian-Matt to vote the same way. Chloe and Stephen are wild cards. Trace... I am praying for to be okay as well. If Chloe-Stephen-Trace-Matt-Adrian work together, they could get Thomas or Kait out. We'll see! I feel bad wanting Kait out as I do like her but if she goes w/o me having a hand in it... I'll be sad bc I like her but happy bc I think she's too smart to keep very long. She'll catch on to me. She'll plan my demise, which is exactly why I need her close to me as long as she's here. Also - Maynor coming in 2nd? I'm out here busting my butt and they're gonna rank me number three? after someone who can't even barely walk and barely do anything and all he does is sit around and fuss and curse everyone.. I was VERY insulted. (this a crystal cox quote sgflksgls) But fr he said he barely did any. mmhmmmm.. If i was on the fence about him before, he just told me what side of the fence to fall on. 

Im glad Im safe. Idk how this  vote will actually go. I wish luck to thomas matt kait. And ithers but cant remember who from other side is in it. Today imma just keep talking to ian and corey to make deeper bonds with then and enjoying my grad party. Drunk maynor may leave a confessional later.

This warzone is by far the most crucial one in my game. I’m absolutely PARANOID at this point because Kait gave me some info that Ian is mad at me for telling Jacob to vote him, wasn’t my idea but okay. I’m at a point where playing in the middle will leave me getting absolutely squashed in the middle. My allies Kait and Adrian are totally at odds with each other, and Thomas is targeting Adrian and Adrian is targeting Thomas and like, I just wanna vote Chloe. I have the feeling that Adrian needs to go this time around, it would free me of the threat of being sign partners in this game and I’d rather leave bitter betrayals for the pre jury portion of the game. As long as I’m not getting votes and I can keep holding on to this idol and some semblance of good graces with everyone in the game I’m satisfied.

Well I forgot to submit the video confessional I will later lol but I want Adrian out. He seemed very d*ckish about me being inactive and I am not taking kindly to it. It seems Trace is with me and so it Kait and Owen. I hope I can get on more person so we can get Adrian out.

I'm highkey getting 15th again... and I'm gonna cry. Like this fucking hurts so much. People aren't talking to me and the few people are just talking about life and pretty much anything but the vote. Getting a third 15th placement will literally crush my heart and soul so much, so I pray that something works out in my favor.

So happy to be safe, didn't think I would be. Ummmmm, looking at who is going to tribal, i'm not sure who is going to get voted out. I would be so sad if Kait goes, but it would be a smart move in all honesty because this is the first time she's gone to tribal. Getting her or Owen out would be a big move, but I need them in the game for the time being because they are some of the only people who are seen as bigger challenge threats than me. Although I am only safe because of the tribe I'm on, I've never scored the best overall and so really it's an interesting scenario, if I was on the other tribe I would be at the warzone, yet on mine I got 3rd. I just hope it's not a unanimous vote because I want people to come back to camp with drama.

I feel more sick than I ever have and now I’m back in the war zone. How fun. I just hope I can manage to stay safe yet again, I feel like that’s unlikely though 

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

Its Alcohol Time!!!!!!!!

Show just got out and barely anyone messaged me the whole time whoops! I think I’m about to get blindsided tbh this is too quiet lmaooo but Kait and I pushed Adrian so hopefully that’s it. If not then it’s been fun. This seems too easy so I’m not expecting much nnnn but if I’m here.... I’m goin for it 

Im drinking more now. And im nervous who is leaving tonight. Hope the people im working with stay alive.

Good news! I won the past two challenges and have been safe!  That is awesome. Even better news is I just searched Q10 and got a hit which means I’m near an idol :)

Okay so I’ve been busy af with my friends all of a sudden it’s almkst tribal nnnnn and it’s between Chloe and Adrian rn. Adrian allegedly wanted me and Kait out earlier YIKE so I originally wanted him but now it’s like matt pushing for Chloe This is rlly good for my game tho because it gives me and Kait something to bond over that sets us apart from matt. I literally am never going to turn on Kait in this game.... fuck. I hope she do the same .

I am drunk. And i miss havjng my drinkjng buddies in dani alyssa n jess. And havung jones be on call. I need to find some drinking buddies here to have more fun. Plus monty alyssa n johnny r doing amazing as hosts this seasob.

[seongkiran-blog]

( i’m sobbing she’s precious )

hi guys, i’m jules and i’m so excited to be a part of this rp !! i just saw that my app was in all caps by mistake bc my phone likes to fuck with me like that and i’m cringing omg. so i applied a few days ago but life got super hectic and i only just reapplied now that i’ve come up for air rip. but this is my eternally fucked, lowkey honey girl kiran who thinks she’s stoic and intimidating af but more often than not has the smallest of smiles at the v least on her face. here’s some basic — & extensive, sorry lmao — info about her ( TW: death, self-destructive behaviour, adjustment disorder/situational depression ) :

born seong kiran/kiran diana seong on march 12, 1997

scarborough, canada born and raised to first-gen korean-canadian parents

the epitome of a bitter smol™ that’s prepared to fight over everything (stubborn brat )

has twin five year old siblings that she fucking adores, which is a big deal since she doesn’t care intensely for many people

her parents were both only kids that ventured into science-based careers; her mom was a pharmacist at her late grandparents’ small clinic and her dad was a neurosurgeon at toronto gen hospital, so they were upper-middle class you could say

s u c k e d at making friends in her formative years and when she did, they didn’t stay for v long

plenty of chances for her to find new friends though since the gta is huge and has a ton of other kids around so it wasn’t all in vain

also her vanity when she was a kid was prob a turn off for others lol

smart af, like english? a’s. math? a’s french? a+

eventually didn’t suck at the whole friend thing and had a small group of people she grew rather fond of

she ended up graduating as valedictorian and was accepted to mcgill to study pre-med and become a neurosurgeon just like papa seong

always wanted to follow in his footsteps, so it came as no surprise to her parents

( TW: DEATH ) during her midterm break in her first sem, her parents decided to take the family to their cabin near muskoka for a weekend away from the city/suburbs

they were a little over halfway there when her dad tried to veer the suv away from a moose in the middle of their lane, but wasn’t successful

kiran was conscious during the whole thing, though she sustained a concussion and the twins were unharmed in their carseats; however their mother died on impact and their father suffered from a cranial injury ( .. i only just realized how ironic and morbid this is after working with this muse for a while oh my g o d )

she went with the twins to the hospital and was inconsolable over the loss of her mother alone, while her father was in critical condition and the outlook was promising, though not certain

he was put in a medically induced coma after being operated on and she and her godparents ( who advised her on the whole thing since they were docs themselves ) decided to hold out hope for a recovery

the twins were put in her care and she was left to deal with the burden of their loss, her education and the obvious, her brother and sister’s newfound dependency on her

she withdrew from the few people she became close to over the years, her grades began to slip as well, and she was always weighed down by grief and anxiety

she tried to stay in school while taking care of the twins, but it was becoming more and more difficult to do so. she just managed to keep her head above water throughout the rest of the first sem though

moved out of res, into an apartment and relocated the twins for the time being to see if she could pull it off

( TW: SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR ) add the fact that a part of her began to question if she could really follow in her dad’s footsteps, and that she let further anxiety from the pressures of making her parents proud get to her and she was soon on a downward spiral

she slipped away from her academics and was slowly becoming a poor guardian; soon, kiran was partying too hard and winding up in the hospital or a stranger’s dorm, skipping labs, and was generally a lost cause when the twins were under the care of a sitter

failed a couple of courses by the end of the second semester and had her godparents flying out to crack down on her dumb ass

felt hopeless and lost, but especially so when she posed the risk of losing the only family that she had left, realizing how selfish her actions were and trying to amend her mistakes

dropped out of mcgill for the time being and took up a job as a retail clerk to provide for the three of them ( despite inheriting their mom’s estate and all, as she put the money that came from it into the kids’ savings )

was soon in the clear in her godparents’ opinion and has tried to do right by her parents and siblings since then

after losing herself for a while, she found that she was right back to where she started with friend-making, but rather than it being her just not knowing how, it was that she didn’t want to let people in after everything that had happened

she didn’t remain a loner, but she didn’t have a ride or die by any means

for the sake of her a.d and bc of the bad memories that t.o and mtl held, she found herself relocating to greenville of all places

but deep down she knows mama seong would be happy about the kids growing up in a smaller town than near dt toronto

about four months after settling in, she began attending a nearby college in what would have been her fourth semester and has since maintained a high gpa after retaking the courses she fucked up in

her dad has since woken up, but he’s going through extensive forms of therapy to restore his motor, neurological, etc functions

she’d be back in t.o if her godparents hadn’t advised against it since it was still rly overwhelming for him and his three kids ( two of whom wouldn’t rly know him either ) coming back prob wouldn’t help ??

still has nightmares from the accident, the girl’s scarred for life and is thankful that the twins were too young to remember

sees a psychiatrist at the behest of her godmother bc she rly can’t cope by herself in all of this but she doesn’t like to burden others with her problems ( doesn’t like people knowing much about her regardless but )

now to her personality and extra facts ig ??? this has gotten so out of hand already, sTOP ME

the most stubborn chick alive, will never admit she’s wrong unless you weasel it out of her with some heavy guilt-tripping

she used to be a fucking NIGHTMARE to most people before everything went awry, still can be but it’s more or less an act with a little bit of it also being herself

a true instagram addict, which makes sense bc she can be p vain at times

rather intuitive tbh

can be insightful as well

feigns annoyance and boredom with people/their antics

some weird ass detachment method on her part that she didn’t shake, but question her on it and she’ll shut it tf down

but is still genuinely, easily irritated all the same ?? not even i understand this chick

curses like a sailor is she isn’t too curt in her responses

has a problem with trusting others, feels like she can only truly rely on herself so if you break through that barrier then congrats ig

she won’t make it obvious though, she’s a sociable being and will actually take to you if you pique her interest with free booze or a wild story

just don’t expect her to surrender much of her life story, but she’ll also get a bit offended if you don’t offer a bit of your own ??

the most annoying internalizer of emotions ever if you’re actually friends with her, 110% will not confide in you if you’re not one of four or five people in her life

also fears loss more than anything, so she isn’t close to many people for BOTH the trusting aspect, as well as wanting to spare herself the pain of watching more loved ones die or leave

but if you’re one of the v select few people she’s let in completely, she’ll never let you go. she’s the definition of loyal and will legit die for you

so so devoted to her little brother and sister, like she loves them more than anything and does everything so that they can succeed when they’re older

all of the sports acceptable for kindergarteners, music lessons, ballet, you name it, she’s got them registered

puts them before herself all the fucking time, her mom wouldn’t be impressed with her putting herself last as opposed to finding equilibrium

anyways, point is, you’ll never see her be more affectionate and joyful than with her family, godparents included

her being good with other kids though ?? she’s been working on it and she’s coming around

still can’t stand screaming brats though lmao

will be super polite to even her enemy’s parents mostly bc fuck that person.. unless their parents aren’t pleasant people either, then she’ll be unpleasant right back lmao

trust me when i say that she has a heart of gold and will do what’s morally right, is so so soft but will forever be in denial like i cannOT STRESS ENOUGH

defensive pessimism at its finest

fluent in french and korean

memes are lowkey the way to her heart

well, memes and food ofc

such a poutine hoe™

sci fi junkie

here for aesthetically pleasing everything

her place is almost never in disorder, oddly enough

quite the party girl, though not the same as when she was a frosh, is able to control herself when there aren’t too many stressors plaguing her

queer af, doesn’t know what her sexuality is but she knows she isn’t straight ( but for all intents and purposes, she’s pansexual )

she just needs someone else to take care of her honestly, she still doesn’t know what she’s doing with herself lmao

trying her best™ to be better in general but change doesn’t happen overnight so she’s not rushing into it, aka she’s still comfortable with being a bit of an asshole for as long as possible

you sometimes won’t know who she is from one day to the next, kind of the personification of a wild ride

so that’s kiran, if you’d like to plot just hmu or like this and i’ll come to you !! i’ll link some possible connections later bc my laptop’s about to die and i can’t find the charger anywhere ? @my mom, pls stop moving my stuff, it’s giving me more heart palpitations than my econ final last month

[thegracegatsby]

this post is all over the place but here’s a super long update if you care lmao 

So it’s officially been one month since i’ve been on this marketing internship in Prague which is basically working a full time marketing job without the pay (duh, Grace) lol I really thought I was going to be filing papers and going on coffee runs, but nope this is the real deal. I didn’t even get a day to fix my jetlag nor was I eased into the job. The day after I arrived I had 15 minutes to learn about all the projects everyone was working on, got acquainted with the office and the other interns, then started on all my tasks. To give you an idea of what I’ve been up to, my first week here I had to think of several marketing ideas for a local company and had to present them to the owner. The Stress and nerves had me on bed rest that weekend ngl lol. The owner loved the presentation, but I couldn’t help but be so hard on myself. I felt so underprepared I didn’t expect to be thrown into the field at full speed. I literally felt like the Mr. Krabs meme. I was shookington. I thought college and a regular part time job was hectic, but wow I was not prepared for job that required 110% of my time and mind. What I mean by that is I was/am technically working on four different projects and each of them need to be unique aka I can’t repeat ideas. I learned to trust myself and just trust that if I did my best…. it would just had to be enough. I can only learn from my mistakes and find a way to improve myself every day. Those “do one thing to be better than yesterday” quotes were always cute, but they have been extremely relevant this summer. That’s been such an important lesson and habit. Some other things I was up to is sometimes the company gets invited to special private events so so far I’ve attended two events. The first one being some networking event with a panel so different CEO’s discussed the future of tech & marketing and answered questions, then another event where the communications director of Manolo (shoe goals) spoke on the brand. Even got to meet her she was so sweet! Last week I got sent on my first official business trip to Poland to meet with different Korean companies at an expo! I had to basically see and negotiate potential products to market in the US and Latin America. Crazy. I loved every second of it. I’ve been meaning to write for a few weeks now so my thoughts are probably a little all over the place, but now is when I feel like I finally have the time and energy to sit down and catch up on a blog even if no one reads this lmaoo. It’s wild how a month and a half ago I left my job at the bank with a heavy heart and had my summer classes get cancelled/wasn’t able to register for any new one’s since they were all full. I was so close to doing nothing all summer except go job hunting again so this trip was such a blessing. It’s super challenging I’m not gonna lie. I feel like I’ve grown so much from being here. I’ve had to get out of my comfort zone in every single sense of the word. I’ve had to depend on myself mentally and emotionally in different ways than I’ve had to back home. I know this sounds super dramatic lol, but honestly this is the first time I’ve been away from my home, family, friends, city, for more than two weeks. Taking such a huge step without my family around has been difficult. It’s how I imagine it would have been like if I moved away for college. I’m going through “real life with training wheels” because I’m staying with family here so I’m not 100% on my own, but that’s the farthest thing from perfect. Like.. my extended family is going through some hell shit and I feel like I’m in the middle of it so I can’t escape it. I guess that’s where my desperate homesickness comes from. I was SO ready to go home I even asked if I could book a flight after TWO weeks of being here. That’s how desperate I was to go back home. I never talk about my personal life, but I will say that my actual home life, thankfully, is healthy. No relationship/family is perfect don’t get it twisted, but my parents learned from the mistakes of their families/friends and tried very hard to raise my sibling and I in a peaceful home. Don’t take this as the “I’m the best because my parents don’t hate each other can’t relate sweetie (: just be happy and drink tea” way because that’s not what I’m saying at all lol. Sadly, toxic families are everywhere, but reading/hearing about a household that is going through a nasty divorce with unhealthy drama happening every single day is completely different than actually experiencing/witnessing it with my own two naked eye balls. Especially from my own relative. I know this makes me sound immature or naive or whatever, but I mean… I’ve never lived anywhere else so I never knew anything other than my own family dynamic ya know? My empathy for children and teenagers who have to go through what I’ve been seeing on a daily basis has grown so much. Again, this isn’t a show off way of me saying “my life is semi-perfect” (no one’s is) I’m literally saying the change has helped me understand and appreciate the importance of a healthy home so much which… isn’t a bad thing. I’d rather learn this now seeing it from afar than with regret later on in my life. I’m genuinely so heartbroken and empathetic for every single person going through this much toxicity especially my own cousin who will have to grow up with the issues her parents are making alone. The biggest takeaway is I know what the fuck NOT to tolerate in relationships. If I thought my tolerance was low, now it’s even lower I’m not putting up with any bullshit ever wow. Now none of this would matter if I only got to work then go home and mind my business, but nah it’s not like that. An argument happened? Guess who gets some insults and bad attitude. Me. Since why did my extended family think it’s okay to disrespect and insult me for everything??? Don’t even get me started on the side comments about my weight :)) All I do is try to stay hydrated and mind my business! lmaofdnsfds. I guess that’s where the mental and emotional challenge comes from. I’ve never been a super emotional person literally the last time I cried from emotion was the day of the musical in high school because I messed up on stage and was super embarrassed. That was literally 4 years ago in April. I’ve had like two mental breakdowns already not including the countless times I’ve had to calm myself down, do some breathing exercises, and mentally try to disconnect from the fuckery. The hardest times being when I’m in public. I NEVER talk back tho which is weird because I hardly ever bite my tongue I’m quick to defend myself, but deep down I know the aggression stems from all these problems.. plus I try to tell myself it’s not that deep and I’m leaving in less than a month. I know I won’t have to deal with this ever ever again. Also honestly staying quiet gets everyone on my side because people see the way I’m spoken to and are like “wtf ignore it you’re doing great”. Lol I wish I could go into more detail because there is SO much tea I can spill, but for privacy (and maybe legal idk?) reasons I’m going to stay quiet. Another intern who started seeing the verbal abuse asked me about everything so I confided in her about all the drama and she’s like “wooow everything makes sense things were worse when before you got here” kjndvdf we were super tight it was so great :’) but she left and everything changed when the fire nation attacked. Honestly, everyone I work/have worked with have been so great. I only got close with like two or three tho but still everyone is so nice lol. So yeah even though the work experience here is amazing and something I will value for the rest of my life, the home life aspect is fucked up. I’m even trying to convince my parents to sell this plot to Lifetime lmao it’s THAT dramatic. *sigh* Some other news is I was supposed to be in Spain right now. I literally Uber’ed myself and my grandmother all the way to the airport yesterday morning, show up to the check-in counter with a smile and bags in hand just so they could tell me “Sorry, you don’t show up on our system” to my face. I’ve never had an issue with my flight so the room was spinning a lil and was low key panicking because 1. English isn’t anyone’s first language here 2. I was abroad and had no idea what to do because I didn’t even make the reservation so I had to call two different airlines and try to resolve the MESS, but nothing was resolved they fucked up my booking from the beginning so only my return flight was paid for not the departure :) so after easily deciding I was NOT going to pay $580 for a one-way outbound ticket, I had to quickly figure out my next move. (PRO TIP: ALWAYS BOOK DIRECTLY WITH COMPANIES THEY���LL WORK WITH YOU AND REFUND YOU IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG. EVEN IF YOU SEE A CHEAPER PRICE ON ONE OF THOSE TRAVEL SITES SOMEONE TOLD ME THEY’LL PRICE MATCH YOU AND EVEN GIVE YOU DIFFERENT FLIGHT ACCOMMODATIONS LIKE CHANGING LAYOVER FLIGHTS IT’S MAGICAL). Everyone I’m living with went to Spain the day before, so after bending over backwards to try and get the house key from my grandmother who already passed through security (she couldn’t wait for me bc the guy at security had 5 min to wheelchair her to her gate), I found a way to contact her (a blessing bc if not I would have had to stay at a hotel or something) and had her hand me the keys back to our place. I didn’t have the patience to take a bus back to the city so I paid the extra fare to Uber back home. The weird part is I’m not even mad. After calling the airlines, contacting my parents, contacting my family already in Spain that I wouldn’t be going, I was just… chilling. Got some groceries and I’ve been living la vida loca just eating and watching netflix lol. Sure, I wanted to go see a new country and even try to see the town my great grandparents were from, but if there’s anything I learned this year is… everything happens for a reason. I think it would have been an amazing trip, but there’s a reason I didn’t get to travel this weekend. Theres a reason I had to leave my job at the bank. Theres a reason I’m here in Prague in the first place. There’s a reason I’m witnessing this entire Mess. I guess there’s some growth in that too you know what I mean? Younger me would have probably combusted in hatred and be extremely negative and complain that “my life sucks” when in reality it’s fine it’s just in general, shitty things happen…. but life won’t stop for anybody not even me. On the bright side, some good lessons came out of this experience. Forget 2016, this was the real year of realizing things™. I’m going back to Miami with a completely different drive and mindset. For example, I knew school is important and I get good grades, but my attitude towards my education is COMPLETELY different now. Being “good” just isn’t good enough for me anymore. With my grades now I could get into a “good” grad school, but now I don’t even want “good” I want something better. I want great I want the best I want to work my ass off to get into an AMAZING school. I still don’t know everything or even want I want 100%, but this trip has helped me change how I plan to approach/execute my future goals. That “oh I guess I’ll work someday idk that’s a long time from now so I don’t care I’ll worry about it another day” won’t cut it anymore. Now that I’m thinking about it, a lot of things need changing when I get back. Which speaking of getting back, I’m counting down the days I’m so excited I leave at the end of the month ayee!! Lol okay I feel like I’m just rambling at this point. There were a few more things I wanted to say buut………… I forgot it so I’ll just end it here and make a new post if I remember lol. Even if no one reads this, future me will and she’ll remember how the Ctrl album from SZA was playing in the background while writing this and probably cringe at how bittersweet this whole experience/year has been.

TLDR I learned a lot on this internship (good and bad) and I’m basically going back home a new person :-)

[noeulchoi-blog]

alert: noeul choi has accepted your request. she is currently twenty-one years old, cisfemale and a retail assistant but aspires to be a cardiothoracic surgeon. they are described to be steadfast & reticent. rumor has it that [ redacted ]. could it be true? we’ll find out. — ( jeon somin, k, she/her, at )

in the box: a brand new, 256gb macbook air to replace the laptop that she’s had for years. she felt the need to hold off on a necessary upgrade to be able to support herself and her family

( .. her cuteness kills me )

hey everyone, i’m k and i’m excited to be a part of this rp !! so it’s wednesday and yet i’m still as emo as ever about bts at the bbmas bc mY BOYS !!!! anyways this is my eternally fucked, lowkey honey girl noeul who’s been through some shit. here’s some basic — & extensive, sorry lmao — info about her ( TW: death, self-destructive behaviour, adjustment disorder/situational depression ) :

born noeul emilia choi/choi noeul on march 12, 1996

pronounced “no-ewl” but she goes by “noel” for the most part since it’s easier for most lol

etobicoke, canada born and raised to first-gen korean-canadian parents

the epitome of a bitter smol™ that’s prepared to fight over everything ( stubborn brat )

has twin five year old siblings that she fucking adores, which is a big deal since she doesn’t care intensely for many people

her parents were both only kids that ventured into science-based careers; her mom was a pharmacist at her late grandparents’ small clinic and her dad was a cardiothoracic surgeon at toronto gen hospital, so they were upper-middle class you could say

s u c k e d at making friends in her formative years and when she did, they didn’t stay for v long

plenty of chances for her to find new friends though since the gta is huge and has a ton of other kids around so it wasn’t all in vain

also her vanity when she was a kid was prob a turn off for others lol

smart af, like english? a’s. math? a’s french? a+

eventually didn’t suck at the whole friend thing and had a small group of people she grew rather fond of

she ended up graduating as valedictorian and was accepted to mcgill to study pre-med and become a cardiothoracic surgeon just like papa choi

always wanted to follow in his footsteps, so it came as no surprise to her parents

( TW: DEATH ) during her midterm break in her first sem, her parents decided to take the family to their cabin near muskoka for a weekend away from the city/suburbs

they were a little over halfway there when her dad tried to veer the suv away from a moose in the middle of their lane, but wasn’t successful

noeul was conscious during the whole thing, though she sustained a concussion and the twins were unharmed in their carseats; however their mother died on impact and their father suffered from a cranial injury

she went with the twins to the hospital and was inconsolable over the loss of her mother alone, while her father was in critical condition and the outlook was promising, though not certain

he was put in a medically induced coma after being operated on and she and her godparents ( who advised her on the whole thing since they were docs themselves, i have a huge backstory for even her parents haha ) decided to hold out hope for a recovery

the twins were put in her care and she was left to deal with the burden of their loss, her education and the obvious, her brother and sister’s newfound dependency on her

she withdrew from the few people she became close to over the years, her grades began to slip as well, and she was always weighed down by grief and anxiety

she tried to stay in school while taking care of the twins, but it was becoming more and more difficult to do so. she just managed to keep her head above water throughout the rest of the first sem though

moved out of res, into an apartment and relocated the twins for the time being to see if she could pull it off

( TW: SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR ) add the fact that a part of her began to question if she could really follow in her dad’s footsteps, and that she let further anxiety from the pressures of making her parents proud get to her and she was soon on a downward spiral

she slipped away from her academics and was slowly becoming a poor guardian; soon, noeul was partying too hard and winding up in the hospital or a stranger’s dorm, skipping labs, and was generally a lost cause when the twins were under the care of a sitter

failed a couple of courses by the end of the second semester and was under investigation by cps for her lack of responsibility over the kids

felt hopeless and lost, but especially so when she posed the risk of losing the only family that she had left, realizing how selfish her actions were and trying to amend her mistakes

dropped out of mcgill for the time being to prove herself to the twins’ social worker and took up a job as a retail clerk to provide for the three of them ( despite inheriting their mom’s estate and all, as she put the money that came from it into the kids’ savings )

was soon in the clear and has tried to do right by her parents and siblings since then

after losing herself for a while, she found that she was right back to where she started with friend-making, but rather than it being her just not knowing how, it was that she didn’t want to let people in after everything that had happened

she didn’t remain a loner, but she didn’t have a ride or die by any means

noeul eventually returned to mcgill in what would have been her third year and has since maintained a high gpa after retaking the courses she fucked up in

her dad has since woken up, but he’s going through extensive forms of therapy to restore his motor, neurological, etc functions

for that reason, she figured that she should transfer guardianship to her godparents for the time being, as she wanted to see her family ( or what remained of it ) reconnect more than anything and that would be impossible while her dad’s in toronto and she and the twins are in montreal

relocated to la on impulse ( .. dumbass ) bc she felt like mcgill held too many bad memories ( that and warmer weather ?? fuck yes ) so she transferred to ucla

still has nightmares from the accident, the girl’s scarred for life and is thankful that the twins were too young to remember

sees a psychiatrist at the behest of the social worker bc she rly can’t cope by herself in all of this

now to her personality and extra facts ig ??? this has gotten so out of hand already, sTOP ME

the most stubborn chick alive, will never admit she’s wrong unless you weasel it out of her with some heavy guilt-tripping

she used to be a fucking NIGHTMARE to most people before everything went awry, still can be but it’s more or less her being herself and not putting on an act

a true instagram addict, which makes sense bc she can be p vain at times

rather intuitive tbh

can be insightful as well

feigns annoyance and boredom with people/their antics

some weird ass detachment method on her part that she didn’t shake, but question her on it and she’ll shut it tf down

but is still genuinely, easily irritated all the same ?? not even i understand this chick

curses like a sailor is she isn’t too curt in her responses

has a problem with trusting others, feels like she can only truly rely on herself so if you break through that barrier then congrats ig

she won’t make it obvious though, she’s a sociable being and will actually take to you if you pique her interest with free booze or a wild story

just don’t expect her to surrender much of her life story, but she’ll also get a bit offended if you don’t offer a bit of your own ?? 

the most annoying internalizer of emotions ever if you’re actually friends with her, 110% will not confide in you if you’re not one of four or five people in her life

also fears loss more than anything, so she isn’t close to many people for BOTH the trusting aspect, as well as wanting to spare herself the pain of watching more loved ones die or leave

but if you’re one of the v select few people she’s let in completely, she’ll never let you go. she’s the definition of loyal and will legit die for you

so so devoted to her little brother and sister and still takes on the role of guardian despite them not being together for the time being

you’ll never see her be more affectionate and joyful than with her family, godparents included

her being good with other kids though ?? she’s still working on that

will be super polite to even her enemy’s parents mostly bc fuck that person.. unless their parents aren’t pleasant people either, then she’ll be unpleasant right back lmao

defensive pessimism at its finest

fluent in french and korean

memes are lowkey the way to her heart

well, memes and food ofc

such a poutine hoe™

sci fi junkie

here for aesthetically pleasing everything

her place is almost never in disorder, oddly enough

quite the party girl, though not the same as when she was a frosh, is able to control herself when there aren’t too many stressors plaguing her

queer af, doesn’t know what her sexuality is but she knows she isn’t straight ( but for all intents and purposes, she’s pansexual )

she just needs someone else to take care of her honestly, she still doesn’t know what she’s doing with herself lmao

basically you won’t rly know who she is from one day to the next, the personification of a wild ride

so that’s noeul, if you’d like to plot don’t hesitate to message me, or like this and i’ll come to you !! i’ll link some connections in a bit