#one of my favorite people on youtube is Canadian; that's not the point here

[medicinemane]

"Sore-y" Canadian spotted

[thedepressedjuggalette]

Me talking with my anxiety-riddled brain.

My Brain: *constantly thinking of how would be best to reply to the weirdo stalking my page* Me: You know this is kind of stupid. My Brain: What is? Me: Replying to that stalker. My Brain: How so? Me: Remember last time? The dude stalked my great aunt's house, my online activity, my workplace, my university... legitimately everything. The dude would twist words and make it sound like I'm a monster and tricked everyone we knew into thinking we were constantly sending him death threats and shit. My brain: What does that have to do with this? Me: Everything. This guy is starting here, what is stopping him from trying to track everything I do digitally until he finds me and shoots me for daring to like some random. My Brain: Are you sure that isn't just me being anxious-- Me: Bro I'm a fucking Hispanic Ace Woman, I can't be too paranoid considering that Republicans think that anyone that isn't so pale people you disappear in a white background is some illegal immigrant. They're even trying to convince people that Vivziepop of all people is an illegal immigrant. I'd rather not risk my life. My Brain: But they're not understanding-- Me: Look I don't owe anyone explanations, and I don't need to waste my valuable time arguing with someone online. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they take this as a win and keep stalking me. It's their choice if they don't want to have a life. It is their choice to waste their entire life hating one person. It's their choice to waste their life hating me because I won't bend the knee to them. They can waste their time. I'm not wasting mine. My Brain: But- Me: They pretend like FNGR didn't go on hour-long transphobic tirades when making hate and rant videos about Lily. They pretend that I didn't say that I thought Lily was in the wrong when biting off that artist's head. They pretend that what Lily said to that artist was worse than what the Steven Universe Fandom did to a literal CHILD. And they can't get it through their THICK FUCKING SKULLS that if they're telling me the absolute put their life on the line deadass truth and actually have a mountain of evidence... then I'd LOVE to see Lily behind fucking bars. I'd LOVE IT if they were to have a court case going and have it be all on the public Youtube sphere like the fucking Iilluminaughtii shit going on right now. My Brain: True... Me: yeah but here's the problem, they never show it to me. They just EXPECT me to believe them and take their words at face value. I mean yeah, Lily is a dick half the time, especially in the past. She was on some fucking rage timing that you'd think she was constantly playing Cuphead, but that's why I never understood why she didn't just only talk to close friends and just toss the whole Discord Server idea into the fucking trash. I don't see the point in even interacting with fans at all for any fucking public figure. It always seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. I mean fans are ALWAYS waiting for their favorite idol to mess up one time so they can have an excuse to maul that person alive. I mean look at Selena. The most beautiful Mexican-American artist of all time and she was MURDERED BY HER NUMBER ONE FAN. Yolanda Saldívar still has people waiting to fucking shoot her ass for what she did to Selena. To think, she murdered Selena over MONEY. My Brain: So we just stop responding? Me: Yeah, they're going to keep on expecting and believing the worst of me. That's how every stan is. I mean google is free, it's easy as fuck to find the website of the Canadian police! My Brain: Okay! Okay! Yeah. You're right. This is all stupid. We need to just ignore them. Me: Yeah, ignore them like how they'll ignore all the links and stories here because Lily is their Lolcow and they are going to keep stalking her. That's a fact. I'm going to just not engage. If they keep trying to spam me, I'll just find new ways to block them. Better than wasting my time responding. My Brain: But they are right about the whole re- Me: Yeah! I already deleted it.

[survey--s]

437.

When was the last time you used a regular telephone? Ha, good question - years ago probably. I suspect when I worked at my old job which was back in 2019.

How many times have your comments been top comments on YouTube? I don’t think I’ve ever commented on a YouTube video in my life.

Would you ever wear a wig? Sure.

What did you learn today? Uh, nothing in particular really. I haven’t exactly done very much as it’s been pouring rain most of the day, plus it’s Sunday.

What are you most afraid of? Failure.

Are you watching TV as you fill out this survey? Yeah, I have Two and Half Men on at the moment. I’m not really watching it though - it’s more background noise.

Have you ever tried to make a movie? Nope.

When’s the last time you turned something upside down? Probably yesterday when I was winding the cat up, lol.

Do you read books just for fun? Sure, though I’ve not really read anything for ages now.

Do you like the moon or sun more? The sun.

Do you have any posters in your room? Nope.

True or False: You burn a CD every day? Ha, how old is this survey? My laptop doesn’t even have a CD player anymore.

Do you smile more than you frown? It depends on the day.

Do you know anyone named Spencer? No. Spencer is a really common surname here.

When’s the last time you used an envelope? Before Christmas - one of my customers pays me in cash and leaves it an envelope on the side for me.

Do you sing in the shower? Sure, sometimes.

What’s your worst subject? It always used to be maths and science.

Do you ever go to the mall on weekdays? Sure, when I worked in retail I always had weekdays off.

How often do you wash your pants? Well, I put a clean pair on everyday but I don’t do laundry everyday.

Would you rather have a million dollars or be able to fly? The latter.

Do you like Friday or Saturday nights more? Either is fine as I generally don’t work weekends anymore.

Have you ever been ice skating? Yeah, a few times. I used to go when I was on holiday a fair bit.

Do you hate it when guys treat girls like crap? I hate it when anyone treats anyone like crap.

Do you like turkey or ham more? Turkey. I’m really not a huge fan of ham.

When did you realize that Canadian bacon was just ham? We don’t have Canadian bacon here, so it’s not really something I’ve ever thought about before.

Have you ever slapped someone’s butt? Sure.

Do you ever have sleepless nights? Yeah, I’ve always had problems when it comes to sleep. Either it takes me ages to get to sleep or I wake up constantly in the night. I take Nytol now and that seems to have solved the issue luckily.

Would you rather be treated fairly or equally? Fairly.

What’s something that always comes and goes? Sunrises and sunsets.

How many pillows do you sleep with? Two pillows, plus sometimes a couple of small cushions.

Do you want to help save the rainforest? I mean, sure, but I don’t think there’s much that individuals can really do - it has to be all about corporations and government changes.

Do you think dimples are ugly? Nah, they’re pretty cute

If you could restart your life, would you? Nope, life is pretty good, for the most part.

Who is better: Shia Labeouf or Ryan Gosling? I prefer Ryan Gosling in terms of looks.

What’s your favorite food? Steak.

Did it snow today where you live? Yeah, it kind of sleeted for a bit this morning, but nothing settled.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be someone else? Sure, I think most people have wondered that at some point, surely?

What’s the last thing you purchased that you couldn’t eat? Uhh, medication for the cat lol.

Do you like zebras? They’re aggressive little buggers lol.

Are you missing anyone right now? Nope.

Have you ever taken a shower while chewing gum? That’s very precise, but no.

Do you own a pair of striped socks? I’m sure I have some somewhere, yeah.

Do you like Converse shoes? I love the look but they always rub on my heels and give me blisters.

Do you like Rihanna? I like her music, yeah. I think she’s pretty talented.

[duchesschameleon]

codependent idiots

an ajf playlist for @winterscaptain

hello tali! and everyone else reading this.

music is something incredibly important to me, as a musician and as someone who hates existing in silence. I always need something in the background. so, what better way to celebrate 100 ajf fics than with a playlist? tali, I am so incredibly proud of you for 100 ajf fics and so honored to have been part of the journey. and to be your friend. seeing the hard work that goes into this universe and how much you love it is just incredible. I cannot wait for what comes next and to see you continue to create and grow this universe that I love so, so much. you are amazing and wonderful and I love you to bits and pieces darling.

so without further ado, here’s the playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0RpXkdEbsdMqX6l5daBdaL?si=bae62e4556674c84

These songs make me think of ajf or just fit the universe - it’s not about one specific moment or one specific relationship, it’s ajf as whole. So I’ve included a little explanation for each song, considering there isn’t a cohesive sound.

paper rings - taylor swift

this one is pretty self explanatory. it’s a song about loving someone so much you don’t care how, when, or why you marry them. considering meraki, I think we can all agree this fits.

I will follow you into the dark - death cab for cutie

this is a song that screams going to the end of the line for someone. and we’ve seen time and time again (and I’ve referenced it in many a commentary) that aaron & mom lean on each other for everything. they are so reliant on each other for everything and I feel like this song captures it. 

be my baby - the ronettes 

another classic love song. and just the right amount of sweetness for aaron & mom I think. their love, to me, is a deep and everlasting love that endures and as we’ve seen in the fic, is filled with sweet moments between each other. and there’s a lot in this song about knowing you love someone from the start.

can’t keep on loving you from a distance - elliot yamin

this fits into berry hill/mean it ajf I think. it’s the yearning guys. it’s the not being able to love someone from afar anymore and wanting to do something about it. yeah I threw in a little angst, but this is one of my favorite songs. it’s good and it fits. it’s a crossroads.

die a happy man - thomas rhett

pretty self explanatory, listen to the lyrics. it's all about needing just the love of the person you love the most in this world. that is aaron and mom to a t. 

unforgettable - thomas rhett

okay an upbeat song! this one is not forgetting any detail from when you met the person you love. again, aaron and mom. also it’s one of my favorite thomas rhett songs. it’s about inevitability, knowing that you’ve found your person, and not forgetting a single thing about them. 

this will be (an everlasting love) - natalie cole

aaron always gives me classic song vibes, he likes the oldies and what he was raised on. this song is...it is happiness personified. it is happiness and joy in a song and you cannot convince me it wasn’t played at the wedding. 

make a life, not a living - brett kissel

okay so first off: brett kissel is an amazing canadian country artist whom I love dearly. this is his newest song and it was released just in time for this. this ENCAPSULATES ajf for me - this aaron that allows himself to live and love again, to have this happiness and joy. it’s all about making a life, and making a good one. this is ajf for me. 

between you and me - brett kissel

and this one is for all the 18+/nsfw moments. listen to the song and it's pretty self-explanatory. 

at last - etta james

it took them like 6 years (? I think) to get together and another 2.5 to get married. someone played this at the wedding and you cannot convince me otherwise. again, it goes to inevitability and how everyone was waiting for this to happen. we knew it was gonna happen, it was just a matter of when. so when it does happen, everyone’s screaming “AT LAST!”

kiss me - ed sheeran

okay this album came out in 2011, mean it happened in 2011...it fits. and this song screams mean it to me. that’s really all I have to say

give me love - ed sheeran

same reasoning as kiss me. I just couldn’t decide which one fit more. but they both work.

growin’ up - bruce springsteen

this song is less mom & aaron and more ajf in general. it’s rebellion and doing what you want - hello bau - and it’s just a great song about learning and growing up and doing things your way. also it’s me, there had to be springsteen on here somewhere

mary’s place - bruce springsteen

run with me on this one: you’re driving in the car with your family, people you love, and this song comes on. you can’t help but smile and sing along and it is happiness personified. this one is all about the vibes, not the lyrics or meaning of the song. this to me is a bit of a party starter and something that could play at every bau party. familiar faces, laughter, gathering people together….this is all about having a good time with people you love. 

we take care of our own - bruce springsteen

last springsteen song I promise. this one is similar to above, it’s all about a family and being there for one another. looking out for your own, looking out for each other. 

some day one day - queen

this is a great soft, sweet song talking about hope for mom & aaron. much like this is early in queen’s discography, it fits into the early years of ajf. 

you’re my best friend - queen

self explanatory. they are codependent, they rely on each other so much, they are best friends and lovers. it fits so well. and this song will always put a smile on my face.

another one bites the dust - queen

another unsub bites the dust because the bau is great at their jobs. and, this screams hotchner’s dancing around the kitchen or the living room. they seem like the kind of family to dance around and film each other for….no ulterior motive whatsoever (/sarcasm)

my wish - rascal flatts 

so this fits for the wedding vows BUT ALSO - during enough when aaron is thinking about how he’ll fit into reader’s life. he just wants them to have a good life, to find happiness. that is his wish for them. 

danger zone - kenny loggins

we all know the hotchner’s love top gun. they absolutely, unabashedly love this song and blast it for a dance party. 

landslide - fleetwood mac

maybe it’s because we sang this at my camp as a last night campfire song, but I can see this being a song sung to the littles to get them to settle down. the lyrics might not make total sense but it’s a bit of a vibe. 

this is it - scotty mccreery

it’s a great love song and I love it. it gives me ajf vibes for many reasons and many moments in the series

not alone - mcfly

OH ITS TIME FOR MY MCFLY SOAPBOX. mcfly is a band that yes, I mostly know because of the close geography of the internet and early 2010s british youtubers. they are a big band in the uk and they were in an early 2000s movie called just my luck with chris pine and lindsay lohan. I love the movie, I love mcfly. seriously, they are one of my favorite bands ever. not alone is a great song and one I think can be the background for many ajf scenes. and yes this is about to start a few mcfly songs on the playlist

I wanna hold you - mcfly

it’s just about being close and wanting to hold the person you love. how many times during ajf do we see mom & aaron with a hand on each other and reaching for one another? 

it’s all about you - mcfly

I tend to find this is the most well known mcfly song. it was written for one of the band members’ wife and it’s so good. and yes, again, it encapsulates the love aaron and mom have.

being alive - company

I kinda had the realization that this song screams aaron to me. that for so long he fought against his feelings and was almost content with being alone, with not having anyone. he sort of holds himself at arms length, like bobby does throughout company. and then at some point, there’s a switch. and he realizes that being alone is not the same as being alive and he wants to have someone to hold and someone to be alive with. and that’s what this song is about. 

louder than words - tick, tick, boom

there are so many times where aaron and mom just look at each other. they use their actions, their body language, and their eyes to communicate and forgo words. they don’t need words. and it’s not just with one another. it’s with jack and the littles and the whole team. actions truly do speak louder than words in this universe. 

always will - bright star 

it’s a mean it & mistletoe song. “we’re supposed to be/together it’s true/I’ve had my doubts/but not about you.” these lyrics SCREAM ajf and this is one of my favorite songs from bright star - WHICH IS AN UNDERRATED MUSICAL.

dirty little secret - all american rejects

okay so it’s never a dirty secret, but this fits in during the mean it arc. they’re so secretive and sneaking around. we needed one unhinged song here okay???

the power of love - huey lewis & the news

this is a song that fits the relationship, but is also something that could play in the hotchner house and get everyone singing and jamming. or could be played at dinner at uncle dave’s house to get everyone up and dancing on the flagstones.

sharp dressed man - zz top

it’s aaron hotchner. also, this is a song I can see aaron making his kids listen to (yes my dad made me listen to this a lot growing up)

I want to hold your hand - the beatles

yes we need a beatles song on here and yes this is one that always makes me think of ajf. there’s always some way people are touching - linking pinkies, holding hands, a finger through a belt loop, hands on the top of someone’s chair - touch and contact are important here so yes this is the requisite beatles song.

the heart never lies - mcfly

one more mcfly song. just listen to the lyrics and you’ll know why it’s one of my favorites. for as long as these two fought their feelings and denied them, the heart never lies. and their eyes can give it away.

[wiinterrose]

          ( xavier serrano , male , he/him, 23 ) omg ! i was walking yonge street downtown , and you’ll never guess who i saw . 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 ! i just saw a post about them on sixsecrets ! i think it said something like “ 𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐓 𝟓 𝐀𝐌 : 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 ?” . isn’t that wild ? i guess it makes sense through , since they’re apparently 𝐃𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐒 and 𝐂𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 . but i’ve heard they’re also 𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 and 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂 ! i’ll just stick to giving them the benefit of the doubt . i mean , it’s not like i know them personally — they’re a famous 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 / 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐑 ! you know , i’ve actually heard rumors that ██████████████████, but they’re just rumors … i think . i dunno . if you happen to run into them , tell them i’m their biggest fan ! ( ollie , they / them , 21 , est )

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

— mikey was born and raised in winnipeg because i think it’s funny when characters are from winnipeg. if you’re from winnipeg i’m so sorry. definitely was born on the coldest day of that year ( so like some point in january )

— but because of those long, cold harsh winters, mikey found himself in a dance studio a lot. his aunt was a dance teacher and with rather absent parents who meant well but both had long hours at the local hospital, he spent a lot of time with her. he fell in love with dance pretty early on, always having a certain fluidity and grace even when he was young.

— random but he also played hockey up until he was like 16 or whatever because he’s canadian and i’m not stupid. it happened. he can still skate tho. in a slightly different life he probably would have been a pretty good figure skater huh 🤔🤔🤔 but anyway...

— also feel like it makes sense that he did gymnastics. and trained in classical ballet.

— he went to university of toronto for college, studying kinesology and dance, and danced at one of the prestigious studios in the city.

— his big break moment was when in his sophomore year at ut, he made it onto the second season of world of dance in early 2017 ( lets pretend that show has been on longer than it has bc i don’t want it to be the first season of it sldk ). he made it all the way to the finals and quickly become a fan favorite along the way. though he ultimately placed second and missed out on the million dollars, that was the beginning of many doors opening for him. ( for those who, might have the vaguest clue what i’m talking about : i’m highkey feeling like, michael dameski style which is an idea i had after i named him michael so don’t @ me for him having the same first name ).

— millions watched that show, including some prominent agents and scouts who were able to help him launch a professional dance career : something he never thought he’d see himself actually doing. his first big gig was making the dance team for some singer’s north american tour, and he ended up not returning to ut to pursue a professional dance career full time. since then he’s danced in a few music videos for some uber famous musican ( same one he went on tour with or not idk ?? also a wc ?? maybe ?? ), a tv show, couple movies, and other various gigs around the city. he works part time at a studio when he has time, and has been honing his choreography skills as well.

— he makes enough dancing, but certainly not enough to make him RICH. no, that come from an impromptu vlog he did while on tour with aforementioned singer. having already garnered a following from world of dance, he soon rose to youtube fame as well, something he never could have predicted. i feel like his videos are very just, day in a life with various random challenges mixed in, and various workout and flexibility tips. he also still does pieces and duets with other prominent dancers just for fun too. his natural charisma and attitude really just carries him through easily lmao.

— mikey developed a bit of a habit of sleeping around when he left for college, all the newfound freedom was just intoxicating and well. he was hot so. it wasn’t like it was hard alsdkjf. that stuck around well into his blossoming dance career. nothing that was enough to be scandalous, but he made his way around. and then a year and a half into this unforeseen new life, he met matthew glass.

— he’d had a couple serious relationships before, one in high school, one his freshman year of college but neither of them could hold a flame to what he felt when he was with matt. perfection wasn’t something mikey believed in, but he almost did with what they had.

— it was like for over a year and a half he lived in this insane dream, and then mikey and matt broke up and he was devastated ( behind closed doors and with curtains pulled tightly shut ).

— he then proceeded to broadcast how perfectly fine he was doing by going back to his old ways and sleeping around obsessively, this time with very little regard as to how many headlines he was making. as far as coping mechanisms go, i guess sex is better than alcohol ?? not to say he wasn’t also drunk at times l o l.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂

— mikey is a... how do u say... im gunna write manwhore bc it’s accurate so pls don’t take offense. inch resting bc i’ve written smut like once in my eight year rping career but that’s what he decided he was gunna be and who am i to deny that.

— very bi. very much does not care. if the world didn’t know he was before, it definitely does now lmao. he hasn’t come out in the sense he’s like posted a video about it and said “i’m bisexual” but it’s pretty obvious from the media and maybe he has gotten asked in interviews and has just shrugged and been like does it matter ?? i’m sorry he’s not the vocal bi ally we need. perhaps we will work on that.

— hasn’t dated anyone since matt bc he’s highkey lowkey still hung up on him but no one needs to know that right. outwardly, he’s very much the same : seemingly happy, but he’s a lot more careful with his heart and letting people close to him. if anything he’s become a bit of a two-way mirror, always seeing out but never really letting people see in, just what they want to see.

— probably goes without saying but extremely flexible. idk if any of you know who juuse saros is but apparently he can twerk in a split and i’m not saying mikey can but like. he just might be able to...

— straight up does not get cold. never wears more than a hoodie, probably danced shirtless in the middle of winter just fine. at least being from winnipeg is good for one ( 1 ) thing.

— i feel like people call him flower. idk guys. maybe im just thinking too much abt hockey goalies.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

— he tends to be extremely underestimated as he comes across a bit dumb and generally has a pretty positive outlook on life which people confuse for him being naive when that isn’t the case. but he’s found he can use that it his advantage and that sometimes, people will tell him things they think he can’t understand but he hears and remembers everything. it’s helped him out of a few difficult situations before.

— i feel like he has a bit of ethan dolan’s personality & dumbass energy idk guys...

— live in the moment kind of dude. his motto is probably like : you just gotta know what you want to do next. i mean looking back on his life it’s been pretty crazy and that’s only solidified his outlook that like, you really can’t control too much. just let it go where it takes you.

— people do like him though and they like talking to him for whatever reason. generally has pretty trustworthy vibes but he’s more slippery than he comes across. he’s a selfish person at heart and always has his own best interests in mind, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first.

— extroverted. i think ??

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

— 6′1″. chocolate brown eyes. curly brown hair. he has a lithe but extremely fit build due to his career. his core strength is especially impressive. 

— he has a monochromatic lineart tattoo of a rose on his left forearm / wrist and a butterfly ( again monochromatic & just lineart ) on his right shoulder. small scar at the base of his neck by his ear from an unfortunate hockey accident.

— needs glasses but usually only wears contacts unless he’s in his apartment late at night.

— he’s not overly fashionable, going more for comfort than how he generally looks. on a regular day, he’s probably got the whole... college athlete look going if you know what i mean. a big fan of mirrored aviator sunglasses. wouldn’t know what dressing up meant even if it slapped him in the face.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

first and foremost i want to say that i like to vibe and brainstorm with people to come up with unique connections between our characters but here are a few ideas:

— the singer whose tour he danced on — singer whose music videos he’s been in — mayhaps even actors for that tv show / movie he was in ( v small role but whatevs. maybe they just Vibed yknow ) — flirtationship 😔 — always ye ol good hookup l o l — we keep running into each other idk maybe we should talk ??

TAKEN CONNECTIONS PAGE HERE

𝐎𝐎𝐂

          hey guys, i’m ollie. my intros are either written really eloquently or a big mess bc im trying to rub together a couple braincells at 1 am and whatever comes out, comes out. no need to guess which category this one falls into lmAO. anyway, i’m a slow plotter bc i’m easily overwhelmed trying to do too many things at once but i swear i will try to get to as many people as i can. and yeah this entire character is inspired by my love of world of dance don’t @ me... if u made it all the way down here u should watch this bc 😳 & mikey has the same athleticism and strength.

[yourmandevine]

Some stuff that made me happy in 2020, in no particular order

God send you no greater loss. It’s something my grandmother said a lot — a bit of highly Irish Catholic wisdom intended to remind you, warmly but sharply, that whatever you’re currently suffering through isn’t all that bad compared to what lots of other people are dealing with. That it probably isn’t too much to complain about, in the grand scheme of things. That you should, instead, be grateful for what you’ve got, big and small and everything in between.

God sent a great many people a great many unfathomable losses this year, and as hard as it felt at times, our family wasn’t among them; we’re lucky, in the big picture. In the past, people have recommended I try writing those reasons down, to give myself a list of stuff to be thankful for, for the times it’s tough to summon up the gratitude. I figured the end of the year was as good a time as any to make that list, to highlight the stuff that helped me get through this year — the reasons big, small, and in between.

So: here goes.

Peanut butter and jelly

I haven’t counted how many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I’ve eaten since March 11, which is good, because that would be an absurd thing to do, and a sure sign that I have succumbed to a very specific kind of madness. It’s also good, though, because I would undoubtedly be ashamed by the number; the figure would be titanic, like the unsinkable ship of same name, or the iceberg that sunk it.

Or, at least, I would be ashamed under normal circumstances. This fuckin’ year required whatever flotation device you could find, and you know what I found in the fridge and cupboard? A couple of slices of bread, some strawberry jam, and some goddamn Skippy.

Need a weird mid-morning “brunch” after not having breakfast because you went right from waking up to remote school with the 6-year-old? Crank up a PB&J with that third cup of coffee. Need to pack something in the diaper bag to feed everyone while you’re out at the playground for the afternoon? Stack ‘em up, son. Need a late snack after working the overnight shift filing weird bubble playoff columns? Three letters, one ampersand, one love.

I need to eat better in 2021. But I kind of needed to eat sort of like shit to get through 2020, and time and again, when your man needed it most, PB&J was there.

Sunday night Zoom sessions with college friends

I know that most of us started something like this back in March; I’m not sure how many have stuck with it. I hope the answer is “a lot,” because honestly, knowing that I’m going to end the week by seeing a few friends — some here in Brooklyn but mostly beyond our reach for safety’s sake, some who’ve moved away — has felt like a stabilizing agent on more than a few occasions. It’s important, and no small blessing, to have people in your life who really know you, weird messy ugly bits and all, and in front of whom you can let everything go.

That gallery view’s provided a place to vent, to seethe, to laugh, to cry, and to try to find some semblance of center before heading back into another week. I’m grateful for it, and for the people in those little boxes. Except for the time they reminded me that, when I was 18, I was pretty sure I was a Pacey, and they were all extremely confident I was a Dawson. They were right, but still: a bitter pill to swallow, then and now.

Olivia calling herself “Dr. Bloody”

She took out her little toy doctor kit and just turned into a cackling villain.

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Deeply disconcerting, yes, but also adorable.

All Fantasy Everything

What got me in the door was the conceit: three very funny stand-up comedians (Ian Karmel, David Gborie, Sean Jordan), often with a very funny guest but sometimes without, pick some topic or another and engage in a fantasy draft of their favorite aspects or representations of that topic. (It is, crucially, a serpentine draft. Now what is that? That’s a great question.) Some favorite examples: Mikes; Words That You Think Make You Sound Smart, vols. 1 and 2; Things You Yell After You Dunk on Someone; Fictional Athletes; Crimes We’d Like to Commit. Yeah. It’s that kind of podcast.

What kept me around was the friendship. Listen to an episode and it becomes really clear really quickly just how much the three hosts love each other, how much fun they have being around each other and making one another laugh. The warmth radiates, just pours out of the speakers; in a year where I sorely needed some good vibes, I appreciated my regular check-ins with the Good Vibes Gang to just ... unclench for an hour and a half or so. 

Drinking beer

OK, I’ll admit: This doesn’t sound great for me. It’s true, though. I really like beer. (We brewed one in our kitchen, which I realize is something of a “bearded guy in Brooklyn” cliche, but here we are. It was exciting to complete a project, and it tasted OK-ish.) At some points this year, it didn’t feel like there wasn’t much to look forward to, and sometimes drinking some High Lifes or Narragansett tall boys — with my wife in our living room, with friends on the computer, whatever — helped take the edge off a shitty day/week/month/year. I look forward to being able to do that outside with people again.

The Good Place

I am sure some very smart cultural critics and political thinkers and social revolutionaries have forwarded compelling arguments for why this show is Bad, Actually, because that seems to be more or less true about most things, whether because said thing is Actually Bad or because the economics of the attention economy on the internet functionally necessitate the composition and publication of pretty much every position on pretty much every issue, and especially ones that present a counterargument for why you shouldn’t like the thing you like, and might be kind of a piece of shit for liking it. But I liked this half-hour comedy about the way the universe might be put together, why we should try to take better care of each other, and how doing so might be a pretty great way to take better care of ourselves.

Andrew let me write about it a little bit for a big project we did before the series finale aired, which was really nice of him. I found myself thinking about this part a lot this year:

I also thought a lot about Peeps Chili, but that happens every year.

Taking pictures of my dog

Check out this flumpy goddamn champion:

“Lugar is a good boy” is the main takeaway here. They don’t all have to be complicated.

Schitt’s Creek

I know we’re not alone in this, but we inhaled this show this year. A half-hour comedy about people being laid low, learning how to deal with who they actually are, and finding some grace and community and opportunities for growth kind of hit the spot, I guess.

One of the most wholesale enjoyable ensemble comedy casts I can remember; Catherine O’Hara was already in Cooperstown, but what she made with Moira Rose only polishes her plaque. I’ll never be able to describe with any specificity the thing Chris Elliott does, but I know it has made me laugh since I was a child too young to understand the Letterman bits or see Cabin Boy in the theater, and it’s probably going to make me laugh until I am dead.

I love that people who, for years, never got to see themselves or people like them on screen got to see David Rose on screen and maybe recognize themselves a little bit. The idea that seeing the David/Patrick relationship might make them maybe feel a little more at home, a little safer and more whole, makes me happy. Sad, about the before, but happy, about the now and the what comes next.

Past that, I just love how what was ostensibly a family-and-friends production for a Canadian channel just got absolutely everything right—the tone, the look, the sound, the theme song, the cast, the jokes, my goodness, the jokes—and before long, the rest of the world just got it. Like catching a fastball square on the barrel. Something the show clearly knew a little bit about.

Finding new outdoor places it was safe to go

Necessity is the mother of invention, and the need to give the kids a place to be that wasn’t unnecessarily dangerous but also wasn’t inside our two-bedroom apartment led us to do more exploring than we had before. Shirley Chisholm State Park is great. Canarsie Pier was a fun place to spend a Sunday morning; so’s Canarsie Playground. If we got there early enough or made our peace with some rain, the beaches at Jacob Riis Park and Fort Tilden were pretty rad this summer. I lived in Staten Island from ages 8 through 18, and during breaks throughout college, and don’t think I ever hiked in High Rock Park — that’s dumb, because it was nice!

Even if all those little excursions did was kill a little time and reduce the overall stress level of the four humans stuck in our four walls, that’s not nothing. Some days this year, it was everything.

Cobra Kai

I know I’m late here; I didn’t rush to seek it out because I don’t consider myself a huge fan of The Karate Kid, or at least not a big enough fan to sign up for YouTube’s premium service. I checked it out when it came to Netflix, though, and I honestly can’t believe how much I enjoyed this show. Give me “dumb, but with heart” every day of the week.

I believe in Miguel Diaz; I believe in Johnny Lawrence; I believe I will be firing up Season 3 next month, and perhaps drinking some Coors Banquets in its honor. (I cannot, however, believe how the “get him a body bag” thing came back around, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Closing unread tabs

I’m a serial hoarder of links, and I am bad at finishing all of them. I’ve tried to get into Pocket and Instapaper, but I’ve never been able to turn that sort of workflow — open link, save to third-party service, go back to third-party service later to read, then delete from there — into something that felt instinctual, natural, or habitual. So: lots of tabs. Like, lots of tabs.

This was a dicier proposition than usual in 2020, because cutting my work week in half to be able to more effectively coparent two kids who didn’t have school or day care for most of the year meant less time to read things.

I tried to do my best to keep up with the important stuff for work, and to read at least some stuff about how other parents were dealing with their anxiety/anger/depression/frustration at having to be on 24/7 and work, and to stay abreast of (at least some of) what was happening in the world. Sometimes, though, I would wake up and realize I’d been holding onto blog posts about Really Interesting Rotation Decisions on the 11th-Seeded Team in the East or whatever for literally nine months, and I would go against my nature and just hit the eject button on a 25-deep window, and something amazing would happen: I wouldn’t get fired for being shitty at my job. I would move on with my day, and I would feel about 10 pounds lighter.

I still keep too much stuff open. (As we speak, I’ve got three different Chrome windows open on two different laptops. I choose not to count the total tabs.) But I do so knowing that, if it gets too heavy, I can experience the momentary joy of surrendering to the inevitability that I can’t catch everything. In that moment, I feel OK with my decay.

Reading writers I wasn’t familiar with before

Two in particular stand out in my mind: Nekias Duncan, now of BasketballNews.com, who does excellent film breakdowns and statistical analysis, and Katie Heindl, who writes basketball stuff of all types all over the place, and strings sentences together in a way that scratches an itch inside my brain. I’m grateful I got more chances to read them this year, I look forward to bigger and better things for both of them, and I’m hopeful that, if things calm down and our schedules go back to something approximating normalcy, I’ll have more bandwidth to hunt out more new voices in the year ahead.

The time I ambushed my wife as she was trying to break down and put away the girls’ space tent

Pretty good.

Siobhan learning to ride a bicycle (with training wheels, but still)

The moment passed pretty quickly; Not Exactly A Mechanic over here can’t get the training wheels to reliably work right without either loosening them too much or tightening them so much that she can’t pedal it. In that first moment, though, and for as long as it lasted, it was really great to see her get excited about doing something new, big kid shit, for the first time.

She was proud. I was proud of her. And then we went to a playground for a few hours. Pretty good day.

Tyler Tynes roasting me

Tyler did some incredible work this year — The Cam Chronicles is getting deserved praise as one of 2020′s best podcasts, and his reporting on the Movement for Black Lives was exemplary. It’s hard to top this, though:

You know what the messed up part is? I was excited to tell him what I was doing, just because I knew the reaction would be so violent. Like a body rejecting a transplant. So lucky to have such a dear, dear friend.

PUP

I’m late on everything, so I didn’t start listening to PUP until the spring of 2019, but I haven’t really stopped since. This year has been too sedentary too often; this band is too kinetic to allow me to stay there.

“Bloody Mary Kate and Ashley Kate” is never more than about 20 minutes away from returning to the front of my mind. I would fucking love for it to be safe enough to watch these guys live at some point, and I am absolutely going to take Steve up on his offer.

Someone sending me a shirt based on a joke I tweeted

First:

Then:

Then:

I’m not sure you should be rewarding my behavior, SnoCoPrintShop, but I appreciate it all the same.

Which reminds me:

Family dinner/family movie night

My wife works in Manhattan and commutes back on the train, and we've tried to prioritize getting the girls to bed early since they were little, so that doesn’t leave much of a window between when she gets home and they go in the tub for us all to connect; before everything shut down, we almost never really ate together. We’re still not great about it, but for a while now we’ve carved out Saturday as family dinner night, where we sit down to eat and talk about our “up” from the day — something that happened that made us feel good or happy, or something we’re looking forward to. (We used to talk about our “down,” too, but that kind of seemed like overkill. Why try to focus on more bad shit right now, you know?)

Then we settle in for a movie, with who gets to pick rotating each week. It’s mostly been Pixar, which has been great but also has its drawbacks; after she caught me crying during one of them (maybe the Bing-Bong scene in Inside Out? or Miguel singing to Grandma Coco?), Siobhan straight up told me, “You need to get yourself together, man.” We just watched My Neighbor Totoro, too, which they loved, so we’re probably going to try some more Miyazaki soon. It’s a really simple thing, but it’s one we rarely made time for before, and it’s been really nice to manufacture something positive that we can share and look forward to together.

Sometimes looking like a shiftless drifter

No shade to anyone who felt strongly about getting a lineup or whatever, but I haven’t really felt like going to the barbershop was worth the risk, and I continue to refuse to believe that my wife can actually pull off the fade she’s long wanted to give me. (It is also possible that she just means she’s intending to run my fade, and that I will before long wind up cold-cocked and slumped by my bride of nine years.) So I’ve just kind of been growing out my hair like it was when I was single, and sometimes been letting my beard get kind of out of control too, and, well, I sort of like looking a little bit like a Wildling, it turns out.

I have since trimmed things up a little. It didn’t go over well with my youngest. Oh, well. I’ll try to do better next time.

My wife and daughter singing the Pixies

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We don’t know all the words to too many lullabies, so we sing the ones we do know the words to. This will probably come back to bite us in the years ahead. For now, though: Pretty good.

Doughboys’ Tournament of Chompions: Munch Madness: Mac Attack

I can’t believe how invested I became in Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell’s quest to determine the best menu item at McDonald’s in a 64-seed tournament that spawned hours and hours of delightfully funny audio featuring all-time home-run guests like Jon Gabrus and Nicole Byer, who gleefully feed into the often warm, sometimes antagonistic, always entertaining chemistry between the two hosts. I have also never found myself wanting to go to McDonald’s more in my entire life. I have hit the drive-thru a couple of times since, and the boys are right: The McDonald’s fountain Coke does just hit different.

Sound Only

I’ve lost track of whether or not a 38-year-old is considered a millennial, but I’m quite confident that I’m not exactly plugged into “the millennial lifestyle” as my teammates Justin Charity and Micah Peters discuss it on their podcast, which relaunched this summer. Doesn’t matter, though, because I love hearing Charity and Micah talk to each other even if I don’t know what they’re talking about.

Their conversation about Dave Chappelle was great. After listening to their Travis Scott episode, I felt like I kind of understood who he is and why he occupies the space he does in pop culture now. I had no idea how they were going to get me to give a shit about set photos from The Batman, but this they not only got me there, but wended their way toward blaming 50 Cent for needing to know who Groot is to have a conversation on the internet, which is something for which Abraham Lincoln did not die. The show is good, it's getting better, it’s fun to hear them talk their shit, and Charity’s regular bellowing of “I, TOO, AM AMERICA” has made me smile for four straight months. 

Siobhan’s letters and notes

She’s in first grade now, and she’s taken to communicating her feelings through the written word. A lot.

I won’t pretend that I loved all of these in the moment. I can only get so upset, though, when she’s already writing with such a clear voice. (And trying to use proper punctuation. (And drawing little cartoons to drive the point home.)

Palm Springs

I’m having a hard time remembering too many specifics about it right now, which probably means it’d be a good thing to rewatch over the holidays. But, as I’m sure many people noted many months before we got around to watching it, a comedy about living the same day over and over again, and about trying to figure out how to make your life mean something when everything seems meaningless, scratched a pretty particular, and particularly important, itch this year. It could’ve been twice as long, and I would’ve eaten up every second of Andy Samberg and Cristin Miloti together.

I’m pretty sure I cried, although this year, that doesn’t necessarily mean much.  Also, put Conner O’Malley in more things.

Joining our union’s bargaining committee

I won’t say too much about this, but I will say that becoming an active participant in the process of a labor union negotiating its first contract with management has been an extremely educational experience. It’s pushed me to have conversations, sometimes difficult ones, about our priorities as a staff and a company. It's helped me get closer with the other past and present members of the BC, and has led me to start developing relationships with members of our staff that I otherwise might not have had much of an opportunity to get to know.

The organizing work takes time, effort, and energy, but trying to do what I can to help take better care of my colleagues has been well worth all of that. Here’s hoping that in 2021 we can reach a deal that helps make our workplace even better, stronger, and more equitable for all of us.

Publishing a story about Stevie Nicks’ Fajita Roundup

I swear this is true: After I accepted my offer to work at The Ringer, but before I started, I told a friend that one thing I was excited about was that you had the chance to work on offbeat stuff here, in both the “kind of weird” and “not about the NBA” senses. That, I thought, might maybe open the door to me getting to write a story about a Saturday Night Live sketch I saw when I was a teenager about Stevie Nicks from Fleetwod Mac running a cheap Tex-Mex restaurant in Sedona, Arizona — a sketch that I wasn’t sure anyone else remembered, but that was stuck in my head forever.

That story ran on May 26.

A lot of people seemed to like it.

Accomplishing this goal was, as dumb as this might sound, a highlight of my year, and, honestly, a highlight of my career. I’d like to do some more stuff like this next year, time permitting; we’ll see. Whether or not I do, I got to do this. I’ll always have that.

[dragracereviews]

RPDR Winners Ranked!

Disclaimer: the following list is MY opinion so don't come for me. Also, this won't be including All Stars winners, I'll do a separate list for that!

#11 - Tyra Sanchez, S2: Don't even get me fucking started on Tyra. I was 100% Team Raven and I'm still not over it.

#10 - Bebe Zahara Benet, S1: Elephant in the room; season one just kind of sucked. Bebe did the best she could given the low budget and lackluster challenges and ultimately came out on top because of it. I personally liked Nina Flowers a little more but I’m not mad at Bebe’s win. However, I wasn’t a huge fan of her on AS3, even though her extreme confidence was rather amusing. I do love saying “Kamerooooon” though!

#9 - Violet Chachki, S7: Another disclaimer: I don’t dislike anybody on this list below Tyra, they’re just victims of not being my favorites. Violet started off in episode one being not extremely likeable, but that changed over the course of the season and by the finale, I had basically accepted the fact that she was going to win. I was Team Ginger though and let’s be honest, it was between her and Violet because Pearl had no chance in hell of winning after “is there something on my face?” gate. I do appreciate Violet’s art and I love that she seems to be pretty close with some of her season 7 sisters. And no reveal, at least in my opinion, has ever come close to Violet’s fall runway. Just saying.

#8 - Aquaria, S10: On first viewing, I didn’t NOT like Aquaria, but I didn’t love her either. I was actually rooting for Eureka to win because it’s high time a big queen places higher than runner up! Rewatching it though, I do see why Ru gave her the crown; her runways were perfect and for such a young queen, she was so fucking polished. I was Team Miz Cracker in that iconic “twin” rivalry, but again, I don’t hate Aquaria, she just isn’t one of my top faves. I do respect her and her drag and I’m sure with age, she is just going to get that much better (if that’s even possible)!

#7 - Raja, S3: It almost breaks my heart not to have Raja higher on this list but it's no fault of her own, some of her fellow winners are just that great. Despite being a part of the Heathers clique, I found Raja to be not at all like her shady ass friends. She was the classiest of the bunch (though I do love Manila too) and she metaphorically pissed on that fucking runway every episode. I always found her very attractive out of drag, so that was an added bonus. I was extremely happy when she won! TOOT!

#6 - Sasha Velour, S9: I just went to Sasha’s “Smoke and Mirrors” show in the fall and it reignited my love for this bald queen. I adored her on season 9 and even though most people were expecting Shea to win, I wasn’t mad when she won instead. Her lip syncing at the finale was EPIC and I do believe she beat Shea fair and square. I kind of hoped they would’ve retired the lip sync battle after this season though because I don’t believe it’s a fair way to determine the winner but hey, when has Ru ever listened to what the fans want, amirite? Regardless, I love Sasha and I can never look at rose petals the same way again.

#5 - Yvie Oddly, S11: The hate that Yvie got on her season, particularly from Silky, made me so fucking angry. She came from an honest, but caring place whenever she gave her fellow queens critiques and those bitches just couldn’t handle it (sorry Vanjie, ily). My initial reaction to her winning was slight disappointment, just because as a Canadian, I really wanted Brooke to win, but upon further reflection, I think Yvie deserved it more. She went through a lot of shit in her life and throughout filming and to see her snag the crown after so many people doubted her was so amazing. Also, I’ve met her IRL and she’s is so sweet and a fucking fierce performer. You do you Yvie.

#4 - Sharon Needles, S4: Here we have another underdog. Although Sharon’s fight with Phi Phi O’Hara on the show was iconic (”Tired ass show girl!” “At least I am a showgirl, bitch! Go back to Party City where you belong!”), she did not deserve to be put in just a “spooky” box. Sharon is versatile as fuck, and her changing aesthetic over the years is proof of that. And again, she’s a hot boy so she gets bonus points for that. Love you Sharon!

#3 - Bob the Drag Queen, S8: This season was the first I ever watched so it will always been one of my faves. As much as I loved Naomi Smalls and Kim Chi, I knew Bob was going to win it because she’s just so fucking funny. Yes, her looks weren’t always the most polished, but I adored her anyway and I love her even more outside of the show. In case you didn’t know, she’s actually good friends with Trixie and she even took over Katya’s spot on the “Trixie and Katya Show” on Viceland when Katya went to rehab. We stan a queen who’s there for her friends!

#2 - Jinkx Monsoon, S5: As mentioned in previous lists, I have since forgiven Roxxxy Andrews for picking on my little baby Jinkx, but it still made my heart so happy when Jinkx beat her to the crown. This narcoleptic ginger was adorable then and even more adorable now; I swear her laugh could cure cancer. And if you haven’t watched “Cool Mom” on WOW Presents’ YouTube channel yet, you’re missing out! Jinkx, if you’re reading this, will you be my mom?

#1 - Bianca Del Rio, S6: Hands down, the undisputed winner of the best season of Drag Race. I fucking stan Adore Delano but I was not at all upset with the outcome because Bianca was unbeatable. I. Love. This. Bitch!

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 32 Review: Sea Fever

{ Not available on YouTube }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

I apologize for the delay in posting this review. Once again, I’ve been busy in real life and didn’t have enough time to work on it last week. (And so soon after starting my Shadow Over Seventh Heaven review series!) But now I’m back and I have enough time to write about my favorite show again--and, in a week or so, hopefully enough to continue my other review series as well.

This is the first episode to differ completely from the Lost Episode summaries published in various U.S. and Canadian newspapers--and therefore probably the point at which the original outline and the final one began to diverge. Episode 30′s summary described an event that happened in the episode, but whose cause appears to have been changed during forced rewrites; last episode’s was still accurate after revisions; but this one’s summary is the first to describe a scene absent from the final, aired episode. (More on that later.)

Shall we begin this review? This episode features some of the darkest Jean Paul (yes, Jean Paul!) dialogue thus far, along with many entertaining facial expressions as multiple characters feast on the scenery. It’s a wild ride with a genuinely scary scene, and, if you like those things, I think you’ll enjoy it.

We open right where last episode left off, with Elizabeth reacting to Jacques’ little comment about Holly and how he would stake her life in a bet that Vangie couldn’t contact Erica in the planned séance. ”Jean Paul,” she shouts, “your inference that I would harm my daughter to take her fortune for my own is insulting and in bad taste: something I’d never expect of you!”

The handsome devil replies, “Your strong defense against a simple query lends credence to a simple supposition”--which is just a fancier, less archaic way of saying “the lady doth protest too much.”

She flounces and runs into Vangie at the door--figuratively, not literally, although that would be amusing. “You interrupted Mrs. Marshall’s romantic exit from which there might be no return,” Jacques comments, which sounds suspiciously like foreshadowing.

The conversation drifts to the séance and how Jacques is most definitely not going to back down because he’s not a coward, and then, suddenly,

Vangie SCREAMS!

Apparently, every time a female character other than Raxl screams, she has to try eating her hand immediately afterwards.

She’s screaming because she can sense that someone is tampering with the cryonics capsule. And, at the same time that this happens, Jacques also de-possesses Jean Paul:

I’ll let these headache faces speak for themselves.

Jean Paul who threatens to kill anyone who tampers with the capsule. Very nice (not)! Normally, I find his concern for Erica romantic, but this is going too far. He reminds me of the captain in the CBS Radio Mystery Theater episode "Sea Fever" (also by Ian Martin) who…well, I don't want to spoil the ending, but let's just say that he is even crazier in love than Jean Paul. It isn’t one of the best CBSRMT dramas, but it will likely chill your bones. It certainly chilled mine.

Love this shot of Colin Fox backacting while Paisley Maxwell and Angela Roland stare at him with wide-open eyes. This episode is full of unintentionally funny facial expressions.

Jean Paul hurries back to Maljardin with Elizabeth and Vangie, and heads to the crypt immediately to see Raxl about the capsule. She recaps to him about the capsule tank’s malfunctioning in the previous episode. He asks who discovered it; she tells him Dan, which only makes him more suspicious of him. SHe also recaps to him about how Alison and Dan are searching for the cyanide that he stole from the lab. “Everyone questions my changes of mood,” he shouts. “Now I must question changes in others!...There is danger hiding everywhere on Maljardin. It has a history that has plagued the family, that will plague all who pry into my affairs!"

While Vangie questions the sincerity of Elizabeth’s devotion to Jean Paul above, Jean Paul leaves red flowers on the cryocapsule and announces his planned next moves to his love: “Erica, my dove, now [there] are some people here on our island who would destroy the process by which you will be returned to me and fill my arms again, but I promise you, no one, no one under any consequences [line flub], will live again if he or she causes you to remain forever dead!"

A beautiful shot of Jean Paul with flowers for Erica.

When Raxl next joins Jean Paul in the crypt, she tells him that “only the priestess of the Serpent knows what is really on their minds.” Jean Paul mentions that she has told him before about the human sacrifices that the priestesses used to perform on the island--which is not recap (as we have only heard her tell Matt about them so far), so she must have told him sometime before Erica’s death. She insists that, although that was true long ago, their altar has not been used for them since Jacques's time.

“But, if his evil can rise again, as you fear,” he begins, implying that he wants to start making blood sacrifices.

“No! Please, M’sieu, no!” Raxl interrupts.

“I will do what has to be done, Raxl. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Raxl draws the Sign of the Great Serpent in the air and the same Great Serpent symbol that's in the Temple appears on screen. It’s a cool effect and not something that’s ever seen in any other episode.

She leaves the crypt, looking back at Jean Paul a few times, probably in complete disbelief that he wants her, daughter of the unseen Priestess of the Serpent, to sacrifice Dan and any other troublesome guests to protect against THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES. This is a shocking new low for Jean Paul Desmond, and shows the darker side of his character. This is a man who, even without a curse and even when he is not possessed, is capable of murder because of his obsession with his love interest. This is a male yandere.

She sees Matt in the Great Hall, who tells her that he’s searched all over Maljardin and that there must be many hidden rooms there. It turns out they have both searched in every room they know about and still have found neither the missing cyanide nor the conjure doll and silver pin. He demands that she tell him the legend of Maljardin and that old black magic. And so we learn from her some very important background information, some of which is never brought up again:

Where there is evil, there is magic. Where there is magic, strange things happen, but first there must be evil, and there is!...Before the time of Jacques Eloi des Mondes, when this house first stood, it was a palace of kings and there were many people here until this island became his!…Only the greedy and foolish [natives] remained, and none who left ever returned.

There is a curse here, Reverend: him, that devil!

The implication is that Jacques did not build the château, but took it from someone else, which connects to his revelation about a month earlier that he was a “free looter”--or, in other words, a pirate. Matt argues that Jacques cannot still hold control over Maljardin because he died three hundred years ago, but Raxl says that “for some of us, three hundred years is but the span of a single lifetime,” indirectly revealing her true age to him.

She smiles at him right after she reveals to him that she’s centuries old. I think this is the first time Raxl smiles on the show, and the only time in the entire Maljardin arc.

Matt asks about the natives who stayed on the island, and Raxl says of them, “They died very soon. It was the curse on Maljardin. Have you ever seen a man who has lost his soul, Reverend? Their eyes down, the fishermen no longer fish, the children cease to play. They do no more than sit and wait [for death]...Since then, no native has ever tried to settle on Maljardin.” Only Vangie, the Conjure Woman, can go back and forth to and from the island “on the wings of the Great Serpent,” but she, too, is destined to die someday on Maljardin.

At the end of this scene, Vangie enters and adds that she doesn’t know when she’ll die, because the tarot cards did not (and cannot?) give her an exact date. This would seem to make her death on the show a foregone conclusion, but that may or may not be the case. (I say that not only to avoid spoilers, but also because the show and the original scripts give the Conjure Woman radically different fates, as we shall explore in future reviews.)

Meanwhile, down in the crypt, Jean Paul is still talking to Erica about how he is determined to kill anyone who interferes with the cryonics process when Jacques starts intruding on his mind. Like in Episode 27, the special effects team illustrates this by superimposing Jacques’ face from the portrait over that of Jean Paul when he is talking to him:

The best example from this episode.

None of Jacques’ lines in this scene are as funny as those of the old, pre-Lost Episode era Jacques, even if Fox-C still delivers the devil’s lines with the same amount of sarcasm and relish as before. His best line this time around is, in my not-so-humble opinion, “Suppose we just whisper so dear Erica may sleep.” I miss early Jacques’ jokes already--yes, even the ham-handed, cornball puns--and it hasn’t even been a week’s worth of episodes since the last.

We cut to Raxl and Vangie in the Great Hall, discussing the upcoming séance. Vangie says that she wants to find out if Erica’s spirit genuinely wants Jean Paul to continue mourning her and keeping her frozen. She insists that Raxl let her touch the cryocapsule before the séance, most likely to get a sense of Erica’s energy before they perform the ceremony.

Jean Paul: “What are you doing!”

Raxl: “Please, M’sieu. The Conjure Woman is trying to help.”

Jean Paul: “Only for a séance, Vangie. Erica must remain undisturbed.” Vangie: “And if you don’t like what you learn?” Jean Paul: “I’ll face that--when the time comes!”

The Lost Episode summary indicates that, at some point in the original draft, Raxl and Vangie had a conversation about Jacques, and Raxl would have told her how she can tell him and Jean Paul apart. As I’m sure many of you have realized, Raxl and Vangie oscillate between knowing that Jean Paul is being possessed and merely suspecting, depending on the episode. In the original Episode 32, Raxl would have known when Jacques is controlling Jean Paul’s body and Vangie would have only suspected until after Raxl explained. Ruling out all obvious non-diegetic clues such as the vanishing portrait shots and Jacques’ theme music, she could have said any number of things, including:

His energy/aura changes (although, logically, Vangie would notice that, too).

He wears the ring from the portrait (which we know is diegetic, because Elizabeth commented on it in Episode 13).

He opens his eyes really wide and makes silly faces.

He makes corny puns Never mind, we’re not doing that anymore.

He acts far too cheerful for a man who is supposedly mourning his dead wife.

He talks about kippers.

Etc.

I suppose we’ll never know which one(s) she mentioned, but I suspect #1, #2, and/or #5. Anyway, Jean Paul leaves to return upstairs and Vangie continues whatever she started doing with the capsule. He orders Jacques to “stop turning people against [him],” which he refuses to do, threatening to keep Erica dead if he doesn’t shut up about it.

“When we really get into the battle, someone has to die,” quips Jacques.

“Perhaps it will be you!” shouts Jean Paul in response.

“Or you, Jean Paul Desmond,” the handsome devil replies. “Or will you be preceded by one of our guests? Now let me see. A likely candidate could be...”

Jean Paul turns away from the roars of laughter, and the episode ends before Jacques can name the guest(s) he plans to murder.

Could it be Vangie? Or Holly? Dan? Alison? Even Elizabeth?

This episode was a fun one to watch, and probably the first review I’ve completed in only one day since sometime last winter. Jean Paul’s willingness to put everyone’s life on the proverbial line to save Erica shows a dark side to his nature that mostly vanishes at the end of this story arc--which is a shame, because I find morally ambiguous antihero Jean Paul the most interesting version of his character. I recommend this one, if you have access to it.

Coming up next: A Quito-centric episode where the detained guests learn shocking truths about Jean Paul’s manservant.

{ <- Previous: Episode 31   ||   Next: Episode 33 -> }

[minyoongleschimjoongles]

Preordained: Introductions V

When Zara Met Seokjin

Pairing(s):Poly!BTSxOC, Sub!BTSxOC,

Warnings: Implied sexual situations, Mentions of sexual situations, implications of Dom/sub relationships

Notes: This might have been the Introduction that I had the most trouble with, because it’s the chapter where the AU-ness of Preordained really starts to come in.

Intro: Taehyung, Jungkook, Yoongi, Namjoon

The addition of Namjoon immediately eased most of the tensions between the boys. He was a natural leader, excellent at talking things out, and his instinct to sort out the arguments to spare Zara the stress was strong.

He also expressed the need for the guys to get to know each other better outside of being Zara’s Soulmates, because that would help ease the friction between everyone.

Zara’s grades, which had suffered under the stress, quickly returned to normal, and Namjoon’s intelligence also inspired Zara to actually focus on school again instead of wasting all her time with her menagerie of beautiful boys. 

At this moment, she sat in her painting class, wondering why, exactly, the film class that was normally the next room over was crowded in with the rest of them. The easels an stools had been pushed against one wall, leaving as much room as possible for people to stand. Zara, always early for class, had hoisted herself up onto the only fixed counter top in the room, crossing her legs under her.

When the teachers had done a mental headcount of their students and assured that most, if not all of them were there, they called for attention.

“Good morning, everyone,” Mr. Lee, the film professor, clapped his hands twice. “I know you’re all wondering what’s going on here today. Well, I’ll tell you. Ms. Do and I have always combined our classes when it’s time to start thinking of final projects.” He paused for the groans as the students realized what was happening. “Yes, that’s right, you’re going to have partners, but we’ll get into that later. Right now, we want to explain what the projects are. For my students, you’re going to be making a Youtube channel! You can do whatever you want for your channel, any subject at all. My only stipulation is that your partner must be included in some way. Your partner is your Muse, so to speak. This is why Ms. Do and I have lovingly named this The Muse Project. For my students, the final presentation of the Youtube channel is worth 30% of your grade, and the painting students will get extra credit on their own final projects.”

“Now,” Ms. Do took over, “the project for my students is, of course, an art show, though not a normal one. Instead of canvas paintings, the pieces displayed in the end-of-semester art show will be digital photographs of paintings done on your partner’s body. Your partner is your canvas, and your Muse. The art show is worth 30% of your grade, and the film students will get extra credit on their final, as well. We will now tell you who your partner is, so please listen carefully. Afterwards, you’re free to leave and get to know your partner.”

There was nervous chatter as people started looking around, wondering who exactly their partner would be. Zara sat up straighter in her spot, ears straining to hear the names being called over the talking.

“Underhill Zara and Kim Seokjin.”

A ridiculously handsome young man with an obscenely white, straight smile raised his head, scanning the crowd for the student with the obviously American name. When he caught Zara’s green eyes, she waved a hand in greeting and he started to make his way through the other students towards her. He held a Canon Powershot in his hands like it was a lifeline, already recording. Already, Zara’s mind was filled with ideas for the paintings she’d have to do on this Kim Seokjin.

When he stopped in front of her, his blinding smile widened.

“I got an American! That’ll be interesting for a video subject.”

Without missing a beat, Zara said, “Maybe I’m Canadian.”

His smile dropped a fraction, startled.

“Oh..”

Zara snorted and smiled at him. “I’m just kidding, Kim Seokjin.”

He let out a slow breath, the smile returning.

“That was mean, Underwood Zara.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! You were recording and I couldn’t resist.”

Jin nodded, pointing the camera at her.

“Say hello to the world, Zara.”

“Hello to the world, Zara.” 

Jin grinned and turned the camera on himself again.

“My partner Zara is apparently a comedy genius. So, Zara, how old are you?”

Zara hopped off the table, taking this question in stride. In America, people found it inappropriate to ask someone’s age, but in Korea, Zara found it was one of the first things people asked.

“I was born October 12, 1995.”

Jin’s face lit up, keeping stride with Zara as she left the classroom. “Ah, I’m your Oppa! I was born December 4, 1992.”

Zara nodded, “Don’t be surprised if I forget to use the Oppa title. Two of my Soulmates so far are older than me and I drop the title all the time.”

Jin almost fumbled the camera as he did his double take. “Did you say two Soulmates?”

Zara let a frustrated little sigh. “Yeah, I have Seven, but I’ve only found four so far. I know, I know, I’m a freak.”

“No, no! I don’t think you’re a freak! But...maybe we should cut this part out of the video, it’s so personal.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

Jin nodded, and as the two of them continued to walk, Jin continued asking Zara questions. His intentions for this first video was a vlog-style, get-to-know-each-other kind of thing.

“So, I’m warning you right now, there might be a lot of boys in here.”

Zara and Jin stood outside her dorm room, Zara preparing to open the door.

“Thanks for the heads up,” Jin nodded, “Go ahead and open it, Zara.”

“Well, you can’t show everyone the passcode to my dorm, Seokjin-oppa,” She grabbed his wrist to turn the camera away from her keypad, and immediately felt the tug on her wrist. The angle she’d managed to get the camera to before realizing Kim Seokjin was one of the Seven showed both of their faces in the shot.

Upon editing that particular bit of footage, Jin would lament the way his handsome face reddened, eyes wide and jaw dropped. Though he’d file Zara’s face away in his memory, knowing her soft smile and twinkling green eyes would lift his spirits for the rest of his days.

“Oh.” Jin said. Zara released his wrist. “Well, this is an interesting plot twist to the video.”

xXx

The boys welcomed Jin in immediately, absorbing him into the group with no complaints. Several of Jin’s videos had already been posted, including the now viral first video, “Finding My Soulmate.”

People just loved watching Soulmates come together.

Zara was always the main focus of Jin’s videos, but the rest of Zara’s Soulmates were inevitably involved as well. Jin’s favorite videos to film were standard vlogs, chronicling his new life with Zara and her Soulmates. He’d even given Zara a camera of her own so that she could film when he was in his own class and Zara, ever the accommodating Soulmate, performed this task dutifully.

Of his classmates’ channels, Jin’s channel was the most popular. Zara had a feeling that it had something to do with the many handsome boys that were featured in it, but she never brought it up. Whatever the reason, Jin’s fan base saw a massive increase in the first month.

Today’s video was the first day that Zara would be painting on his body, so he lay on the floor of her dorm, his arms pillowing his head and his camera recording everything. Zara was already astride his legs, though she didn’t seem to know yet what she wanted to do yet. Her fingers were tracing along his spine, though, and it was starting to put him to sleep.

“Seokjin-oppa,” Zara leaned forward and pressed slow, open-mouthed kisses against his back, and a pleased, tired rumble vibrated through him.

“Zara,” he warned, though there was no actual bite to his voice, “We’re filming a painting video, not an accidental sex tape.”

She was still kissing him, and he felt her smile against his skin. The blatant flirtation between them was certainly on purpose, Jin having noticed subscribers reacted well to it. “Who said anything about accidental?”

Another rumble, and Zara laughed, sitting up and pulling the paints she’d set aside closer. She’d had to go out and buy a supply of body paints for this project, not willing to risk damaging Jin’s beautiful skin with her acrylics.

Without opening his eyes, Jin asked, “What did you decide on?”

“I was thinking we’d go right into the difficult stuff, oppa. A big galaxy, yeah?” She traced an image across the planes of his back with her pointer finger, relishing in the goosebumps that rose up.

“Mm-hmm,” Jin really was falling asleep under her ministrations.

She took the black paint and sketched out a few abstract shapes on his back, feeling him shiver once or twice at the temperature of it. Once that was done, she began to fill in the spaces, first with black, then with the many colors of space. Each stroke of the brush lulled Jin further into dream land. It wasn’t until he felt a hand squeezing his ass that he jolted into alertness.

“That,” he said, “doesn’t feel like paint.”

“You caught me,” Zara laughed, laying next to him and showing him the photo of his back. It looked like she had painlessly ripped his skin open to reveal not muscle and organs beneath, but an explosion of color, pinks and blues and purples stretching across his back.

Zara watched him as he stared at the photograph. His jaw was dropped in awe, his eyes soft.

“Well?”

“It’s beautiful, Zara.” Conscious of the still-wet paint on his back, Jin threw his left arm around Zara’s waist to tuck her into his side. “Anything you draw is beautiful.”

“It’s not hard to create something beautiful when works of art like you are sharing my bed at night.” She gestured to the still-rolling camera, “People worldwide call you handsome.”

“Well, obviously,” Jin gave her a smirk, “It was only a matter of time before people realized how truly beautiful I am.”

“You’re not at all conceited,” Zara teased, kissing his jaw. “Now turn off the camera, before we really do make an accidental sex tape.”

@babyboytae1 @snowythellama @bewitch3dforivar

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 1993

I was 5 and so we have officially entered the era where nostalgia is going to dictate a fair number of the songs I picked.

You will NOT like the result.

Also, only three of these picks were on the 1993 US year-end chart.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

Up to this point my #1s have all been more or less defendable because they were from great bands or artists which are still loved by a lot of people today. Hell, even my previous #1, while being cutesy and not regarded as one of the best songs from its band, was still somewhat defendable.

This one isn’t.

Won’t stop me, though.

Again, a lot of painful cuts were made for this list, including Sing Hallelujah by Dr Alban, More and More by Captain Hollywood Project, Nothing Else Matters by Metallica (it would have made the list but my s.o is a huge fan of Metallica and I claim over-exposure for that one), and most painful of all, In the Death Car by Iggy Pop.

10 - Que Mon Coeur Lâche (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (n i c e)

I swear I’m trying to ignore her songs when I see them on the French year-end lists. And failing.

This kept Metallica and Iggy Pop off the list.

I feel bad.

9 - Fields of Gold (Sting)

US: #87 / FR: Not on the list

When I first got my cd player around 2001, I owned a very limited number of cds and would sometimes steal some cds in my parents’ collection. I liked this one quite a lot at the time even though I couldn’t understand half of it.

Give me a break, I was 13.

8 - Foule Sentimentale (Alain Souchon)

US: Not on the list / FR: #32 (sidenote, it also made the next year-end list)

This was a huge hit here. It’s an anticapitalist ballad. I swear I’m not kidding.

If you’ve never heard it, here’s a link and here’s a translation. You’re welcome.

7 - No Limit (2 Unlimited)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

Again, I was 5. I loved super colorful, kinetic things with a great beat and fun visuals. Come on! They are dancing in a giant pinball machine!

And now I’m 31, and I love super colorful kinetic things with a great beat and fun visuals, and come on, they are, indeed, dancing in a giant pinball machine, and yes, this is on the list and Metallica isn’t. I know. It breaks your heart

6 - Informer (Snow)

US: #10 / FR: #16

For years and years, I enjoyed this song but had zero idea what the singer looked like.

Let’s just say the One Hit Wonderland episode that ToddInTheShadows made about that song was... a bit of a surprise for me because “frail white Canadian dude with glasses” was NOT what I expected.

Still a great song, though, just saying.

5 - Mr Vain (Culture Beat)

US: Not on the list (...yet...) / FR: #25

Yet another 90s Dance song in the long list of Songs That Nobody Is Defending In The Year Of Our Lord 2019 Except Johannes Over There.

There will be more, and yes, that’s a threat.

4 - Chronologie (Jean-Michel Jarre)

US: Not on the list / FR: #38

Mostly a generic Jarre track (a very nice one though, which is why it’s as high as it is) but I remember seeing the music video exactly once (1) on tv at the time and being completely hypnotised. Years later, when I first had access to Dailymotion and Youtube, this was one of the first music videos I tried to find to watch it again.

3 - I Feel You (Depeche Mode)

US: Not on the list / FR: #64

Thank you French charts for allowing me to put Depeche Mode on so many of these lists because the US year-end charts keep failing you again and again.

It took me a long time to warm up to this specific song back when I first entered my Depeche Mode phase, but nowadays it’s one of the rare songs which have a permanent spot in my mp3 playlist.

Fun fact, I have two songs called “I Feel You” on that playlist, and they are such polar opposites as far as intensity goes that I joke about it sometimes.

(”On a scale from Schiller to Depeche Mode how much are you saying ‘I Feel You’”)

2 - Go West (Pet Shop Boys)

US: Not on the list / FR: #57

Again: thank you French charts for allowing me to put Pet Shop Boys on another list, especially because I love that song and its weird communicative fake enthusiasm. Great song to listen to while working, too, and yes I’m aware of how ironic that is, it’s part of the charm.

And now... the first #1 that I can’t defend whatsoever.

1 - What Is Love (Haddaway)

US: #82 / FR: #7

I unironically love Haddaway and his songs. I had the album! As a kid, I thought he was one of the coolest, most beautiful humans ever, and possibly a wizard. I’m just gonna copy what I’ve written on another post, but yeah: baby Johannes didn’t know what Haddaway was singing about in this unknown and mysterious “English” language, but to me, it was pretty clear he was a powerful magician. I mean, the What is Love video starts with him reconstituting a broken statue by magic.

He’s even dressed like a magician!

I was kind of disappointed when I learned a few words of English (when I was around 10 or 11) and discovered that most of the lyrics of this song were about love - but I still adore this song and this kind of music nowadays, because it ALWAYS brings me back to the time when little me thought Eurodance was all about flying on dragons, fighting demons and casting powerful spells.

Next up: Oh Boy, More Eurodance(tm).

[hiiggsmonaghan]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 910 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 1920 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 2930 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 3940 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 4950 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 5960 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 6970 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 7980 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 8990 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99

Are you fuckin’ kidding me--?

Alright, I’ll answer them ALL. 

1. Name: Higgs Monaghan Silver/Silvio

2. Nationality: Canadian/Acadian

3. Age: 22

4. Birthday: July 19th 

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign): Cancer

6. Gender: cis male

7. Sexuality: Gay

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself):  This will have to wait until a special reveal. (Future cosplay things.)

9. What do you/did you study?: ... Does Egyptian history count?

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have?: [Nervous laughter] I have no idea what I’d like to do for a job. 

-

11. Your birth order: First child

12. How many siblings do you have?: 1 “real” sibling, but so many siblings by bond.

13. Do you have good relations with your family?: Biological family? Absolutely not. Except for two of my cousins. They are cool.

14. How many friends do you have?: Too many that it’s obnoxious. [Just kidding, I appreciate you all.]

15. Your relationship status: Taken/Engaged

16. What do you look for in a SO?: Someone who can kick my ass. [Who can handle my anger outbursts]

17. Do you have a crush?: No. 

18. When did you have your first kiss?: When I was 14. It was forced and was a terrible experience. 

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?: Meaningful ones, funny enough.

20. What are your deal breakers?: Overly clingy, too loud, not respectful of my music choices

-

21. How was your day?: Cold. Snowstorm happened today.

22. Favourite food & drink: Pizzas/cheeseburgers || Strawberry slushie with tapioca pearls/orange juice

23. What position do you sleep in?: Fetal position. [Hahahah... ha.]

24. What was your last dream about?: Cannot remember.

25. Your fears: The ocean [drowning], deep forests.. uhh... There are others but I cannot think of it at the moment

26. Your dreams: To be on my goddamn motorcycle, livin’ a good life without my mental illness in the way.

27. Your goals: See above.

28. Any pets?: Not yet! Planin’ to get a black cat soon!

29. What are your hobbies?: Music and readin’

30. Any cool places in your area?: Pfft, no. It’s so fuckin’ boring here.

31. What was your last awkward situation?: I was at Tim Horton’s and there was a baby cryin’ behind me so I looked over at it and played... peek-a-boo with them. It was...weird. But at least the baby shut up. The mother didn’t do shit to make the baby stop cryin’ so.. Great Parenting.

32. What is your last regret?: Well too many to really talk about but I’ll go with the funny route and my last regret was not goin’ to Burger King yesterday and eatin’ salad instead of a burger. 

33. Language/s you can speak: English

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.): Not really. It’s all just whatever for me.

35. Have any quirks?: I bite my nails often... I pretend to conduct music while it is playing... uh...???

36. Your pet peeves: Everything.

37. Ideal vacation: Anywhere away from North America.

38. Any scars?: Many. 

39. What does your last text message say?: “Nah”

40. Last 5 things from your search history: Twitter, Vargskelethor’s twitch, Cloud Strife, YouTube, FF7 remake release date

41. What's your [device] background?: RK900 from Detroit Become Human

42. What do you daydream about?: Usually having super strength and throwing people whom bother me across the world or just... punchin’ them. 

43. Describe your dream home: A  simple house, really. Nothin’ too fancy. Just the idea of havin’ my own house? Even if it isn’t that big or anythin’... That is a dream for me. Oh, and I want it painted black. Hah.

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion: I’d say I’m atheist but... I do believe in God. I AM God. :)

45. Your personality type:  ISTP-T

46. The most dangerous thing you've done: [Looks at the list of dangerous things I have done] ... There are too many

47. Are you happy with your current life?: At the moment? Yeah. There are things I am still angry about but it’s... fine.

48. Some things you've tried in your life: Smoking. Drawing. Singing. Writing. Playing the guitar. ???

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?: Black and reds. 

50. Favourite colour to wear?: Black.

51. How would you describe your style?: Goth/punk

52. Are you happy with your current looks?: Eh.. Not really but it’s all I got.

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?: Grow. Damn. Facial. Hair. Holy FUCK.

54. Any tattoos or piercings?: Snake bites. But I took one out so only one lip piercing now. And tattoos? Soon. Very soon. [Gonna be Higgs’ themed, baby.]

55. Do you get complimented often?: No and when I do I make it Stop. I hate it. Never compliment me. 

56. Favourite aesthetic?: Black/gold aesthetics as of late.

57. A popular trend that you dislike: Everything. I hate them all.

- [FINALLY THE ONES I WANTED, JESUS CHRIST]

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with?:  Allesfresser by LINDEMANN 

It’s a great song to listen to for me because I just punch my punching bag to this song. Makes my anger just... go away. It’s fuckin’ nice.

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like: .... Let’s Dance by David Bowie

I am a new fan of David Bowie. It just literally started in July or late June. I’m the typical metal head but for some reason Bowie just caught my ear? I dunno, man.

60. Favourite genre?: METAL. Well, Power Metal. I love all sorts of metal except for like.. most death metal/black metal. It is too much for me sometimes. But yeah, if yall are into metal... I’m all ears. I love talkin’ about metal.

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?: Well I already spoke about my favorite genre. For favorite bands? God... Uh.. I have a list here of favorite bands/musicians. Check it out if you’re interested. 

62. Hated popular songs/artists?: Honestly? I’m gonna be one of those guys and say pretty much everything on the radio these days. I don’t like pop/rap and all the most popular stuff. Turning the radio on is ear torture these days. Except for the rock channel, that one is okay most of the time.

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5:

1 - System of a Down’s Chop Suey in the Style of Ghost by Ten Second Songs

This guy is simply AMAZING. If yall haven’t already, you NEED to check out his channel. He is wicked talented and he has different styles for different songs. Like for example, Metallica’s Enter Sandman in the style of David Bowie. It’s amazing. 

Check him out. His YouTube is Ten Second Songs.

2 - City by Hollywood Undead

This one just gives me my inner Higgs’ vibes. That is really all I can say.

3 - Mein Teil by Rammstein

4 - Cars by Fear Factory

5 -  龍が如く極 - Turning Point [From Yakuza Kiwami]

Yeah, hi. Yakuza fan here. Do I have to say any more? 

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?: I can kind of sing, [very badly, mind you] and sort of play the guitar. I’m tryin’ to learn Come as You Are by Nirvana at the moment... but that’s about it

65. Do you like karaoke?: 

.... Yes. My inner Nishiki in me just cannot lie about this.

66. Own any albums?: Absolutely. I am a firm believer in albums rather than just buying them digitally. I love having an actual copy in my hands rather just on the computer. 

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?: Not really. I only listen to the rock station.

-

68. Favourite movie/series?: Star Wars.

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc: Uhhh... I don’t know

70. Your fictional crush/es: Sam Fuckin’ Porter Bridges, General Hux, RK900...

71. Which fictional character is you?: [Chuckles nervously] 

Higgs Monaghan-- 

Too many to write down. I’ll just pass myself the trouble.

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so: Eh not really. Only like.. Gavin/RK900 [Reed900] and General Hux/Kylo Ren [Kylux/Huxlo]

73. Favourite greek god?: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? I don’t know?

74. A legend from where you live that you like: None.

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist?: I’m gonna be cheesy and say all of my friends because it’s true. I love my friends art.

76. Can you share your other social media?: Yeah sure. My twitter is @hiiggsmonaghan

77. Favourite youtubers?: Markiplier, Jacksepticeye... Streamers: Vargskelethor and Vinesauce

78. Favourite platform?: Tumblr and Twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?: .. Too long

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite?: Ones I have PLAYED that are my favorite: Pokemon, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy XV, Yakuza 0/Kiwami. 

I also have a lot a games I love that I just watched. Like a lot of Legend of Zelda games and of course Death Stranding!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts): Anything really by William Blake. I guess that really isn’t a “book” but.. all I really read are poems, Shakespearean plays and Egyptian history books.

82. Do you play board/card games?: No

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?: No

84. Favourite holiday: Halloween

85. Are you into dramas?: Not really.

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?: ABSOLUTELY. And I do have one. Well... a replica. Not the real one of course.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?: Get rid of the racists, rapists, pedos and homo/trans phobes. The world would just be more pleasant to live in, yeah?

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?: Probably. Because I stay inside a lot anyway.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?: A demon because I am that fuckin’ edgy.

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?: VOID OUT, BITCH. Uh, I don’t know. 

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?: I did change my name so I am happy with it. 

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?: Uh.. No one. Can that be an option?

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo: The devil smiling one I guess?

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

1. I am in a poly relationship while I am also engaged.

2. I have a knife collection

3.I still used an mp3 instead of using my phone for music

-

95. Cold or hot?: ... Cold because you can get warm with blankets and sweaters while if you are hot, it’s damn impossible to not be hot.

96. Be a hero or be a villain?: Hero in my eyes, but to all of you I’m the villain for some DAMN reason.

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?: Sing I guess. Imagine singing in metal. Holy SHIT

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?: CONTROLLING TIME.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?: Immune to everything. I’m sick of being sick.

====

And there you have it. I’m... fuckin’ DONE. This took literal HOURS, ANON. I hope yall read through this.

[pbwsports]

Is Tua Tagovailoa ready to become Miami's biggest star since Dan Marino?

Leaps into swimming pools. Emotional moments of jubilation. Tears of joy. Fifteen words delivered by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell -- "With the fifth pick in the 2020 NFL draft, the Miami Dolphins select Tua Tagovailoa" -- elicited all that plus a belief the moment will change the Dolphins' franchise forever.

Over the past month, there has been an innate buzz burgeoning nationally, but especially in South Florida, that can be summed up as a Tua frenzy. An 11-minute fan-generated YouTube video provides a visual.

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"Tua is far by himself -- never seen anything like this buzz from a draft pick here. There's no close second," said Dolphins color commentator and radio host Joe Rose, who played for the franchise alongside Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino from 1983 to 1985. "We have a rock star here in Tua. This team has been in mediocrity for so long. It's lacked the Dan Marino star power, the Ricky Williams star power. Tua's the next guy in that group."

Despite the love, it's too early to crown Tagovailoa. He hasn't even played an NFL game. Tagovailoa's arrival is defined by hope and hype.

Even in his first month as a Dolphins quarterback, it is clear that if Tagovailoa lives up to expectations, he will be the face of South Florida sports for a while.

How will Tagovailoa manage the pressure, the buzz, overwhelming positivity, eventual negativity and everything that comes with being hailed as the next big thing in a city starving for its latest sports superstar?

"The great thing for Tua is Dan Marino retired 20 years ago," Hall of Fame quarterback Warren Moon said. "So it's not like he's following right behind a legend like Aaron Rodgers following Brett Favre or whoever follows Tom Brady. He just has to be himself. He can't be Dan Marino. Just be yourself and rely on the people around you."

'It's going to be Dolphins town'

A Mount Rushmore of athletes who have led South Florida pro teams probably starts with Marino and the Miami Heat's Dwyane Wade, but the initial expectations weren't as high with either legend.

Wade remembers it wasn't until after he led the Heat to their first championship in 2006 that he became the face of South Florida sports. He returned to Miami and hopped in his convertible with a buddy. Fans sighted him and rushed the car. He couldn't drive another block.

"I looked at my friend and said, 'Yo, this is different,'" Wade said. "I enjoyed it. But I knew it would never be normal in this city from that point on. I had to get used to being a celebrity. The perks were great, but the non-privacy was not so great."

"Wade County" was born and didn't slow down. His presence remains large in Miami, but since he retired following the 2018-19 season, there has been an active-superstar void.

Enter Tagovailoa.

"He's a hell of a player. Miami, especially at the QB position, really needs that. They need a leader. They need a player," Wade said. "To come in as a young player and win a game in the second half of a national championship game -- that shows some grit, that shows some balls. People have to really believe in you. Miami needs that. The Dolphins need that. Even though I'm a [Chicago] Bears fan, I was rooting for them to get him because Miami needs to get back to where the basketball program is."

Wade's advice to Tagovailoa centers on how to handle fame; the future Hall of Fame guard says he would often deal with anxiety when he left the house. He felt the need to always be on as D-Wade even when he wanted to just be Dwyane. Wade said even though he wasn't expected to "save the franchise," once he became a fan favorite, he had to "figure out how to enjoy what you worked hard for, but keep a level of sanity at the same time."

The last 5th overall pick to Miami did some cool things. Congrts @Tuaamann can’t wait to watch your journey.

3,032 people are talking about this

Wade is optimistic Tagovailoa will lift the Dolphins to a place they never reached while he was with the Heat.

"If the Dolphins get it going, it's going to be Dolphins town. We did as much to make it a basketball town as possible, and Miami Heat is there to stay. But let's not get it twisted: Florida is football. Once they get their s--- together, they are going to be big and bigger," Wade said. "But those Heat guys -- Bam [Adebayo], Tyler Herro -- are going to battle him for it. He's got to earn it.

"How you put yourself in that conversation is doing something great, something that people have never seen before, and obviously winning."

Marino was a 'rock star'

Tagovailoa passed his first test by eschewing his college No. 13 -- Marino's number in Miami. Instead, Tagovailoa is paving his own path by becoming the first Dolphins QB to wear No. 1.

"I understand No. 13 is retired, and it should be. Dan Marino, he's the GOAT. He's like the mayor out there, and I have much respect for him," Tagovailoa said. "I just want to have the opportunity to go out there and compete."

2020 NFL offseason

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Every quarterback who has arrived in Miami has been met with some mention of Marino, and Miami has started 21 quarterbacks since the Hall of Famer retired in 2000. The Dolphins haven't had a Pro Bowl QB since then, which marks the NFL's longest streak.

So while the expectations might seem unwieldy for a 22-year-old quarterback coming off a serious hip injury, this isn't just any NFL city. He's coming to a franchise that is thirsty for a star QB, and fans have been waiting on Tagovailoa for more than a year.

"When I got down there, the Miami Dolphins were Dan Marino's town and team. It's still that way," former Dolphins great Ricky Williams said. "I was a running back, but no one has even come close to eclipsing the success that Dan had in Miami as a quarterback. Even more so than what I experienced, Tua has the potential to be a big part of what it means to be a Miami Dolphin for a long time."

Williams had a great run as the face of the Dolphins. Jason Taylor, Zach Thomas and Ryan Tannehill did, too. But none of them have the national pull Tagovailoa has now.

Tua Tagovailoa is a star in Miami already.

147 people are talking about this

Rose says he remembers the buzz around Marino being relatively subdued when he arrived. The Dolphins, coming off a Super Bowl XVII loss, were led by their "Killer B's" defense, and they selected Marino with the No. 27 overall pick when he fell to them in the 1983 draft.

By the end of his record-setting 1984 MVP season, Marino was a superstar.

"When we went to New York, I saw the phone calls we got in our hotel room. I saw what movie stars and celebrities came around. People wanted to be around this guy," Rose said. "We didn't have the media and social media that they do now, so it could be a lot more hidden. He was big stuff. He was a rock star."

Marino is the standard, but Tagovailoa doesn't have to reach that level to be remembered in Dolphins history. As Moon and Wade have stressed, he just has to focus on being himself.

Why D-Wade is looking to Tua to be the leader the Dolphins need

Dwyane Wade expresses his thoughts on the Dolphins drafting Tua Tagovailoa and gives some advice for playing in the city of Miami.

Work, gain respect, then build the brand

Moon knows all about highly anticipated arrivals. After five Grey Cup titles in the Canadian Football League, Moon signed with the Houston Oilers and became the NFL's highest-paid player in 1984.

With stars such as running back Earl Campbell and linebacker Robert Brazile already in Houston, Moon was conscious of veterans believing he was too full of himself. Moon's response was to work hard, including lifting weights with the offensive line.

"When people came in the building, I was already there. When people left, I was still there," Moon said. "Yeah, I had a lot of attention, but they saw my work ethic. When I got on the field, they started to see I could really play. What you're trying to do is gain respect, and I think Tua will get that, too, because of his work ethic."

Showing that work ethic and building camaraderie with teammates could prove to be more challenging for Tagovailoa this offseason with virtual meetings instead of in-person practices. But Tagovailoa has reached out to many of his Dolphins teammates via text messages and phone calls.

The other balance Tagovailoa will have to maintain is his unique marketability with Moon's advice "to go in there with your head down and work."

Tagovailoa, who signed a four-year, $30.3 million contract, has endorsement deals with Adidas, Hulu, Muscle Milk, Verizon, Wingstop, Gillette, Lowe's, Bose and Call of Duty. He recently signed a multiyear, exclusive memorabilia-and-collection deal with Fanatics. He also has a documentary in the works detailing his journey to the Dolphins.

Tua Tagovailoa taking photo with young Dolphins fan — Riley — who hopes he lands in Miami. Many other Dolphins fans do too.

60 people are talking about this

Agent Ryan Williams and Athletes First have handled Tagovailoa's marketing demands, and he has immediately become one of the NFL's most well-known young players. The people love the former Alabama quarterback, and that has shown up in the numbers. Tagovailoa is the top-selling NFL player in terms of overall merchandise sales since May 1 across the Fanatics network, which includes NFLshop.com and online team stores -- above Tampa Bay's Brady and Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow, the No. 1 overall draft pick.

Moon remembered advice he was given by his agent, Leigh Steinberg, who also represents Tagovailoa: to take things slow on building your brand and try to avoid reading the headlines or social media.

"I just want to make sure that he doesn't try to get too far ahead of himself. Football is what butters his bread," Moon said. "If he doesn't do well on the football field, everything else will go away. Knowing a bit about Tua, he'll be fine."

Tagovailoa showed humility throughout his college career. He has a connection to family and a desire to give back.

"I'm honored that the fans think so highly of me. But I haven't done anything, yet," Tagovailoa said. "What I did in college can't translate to the NFL. It's a clean slate. I've got to go out there and earn my respect and earn the trust from my teammates."

Thank you to @MiamiDolphins for making this dream come true for me and my family. It's in my heart to give back to the communities that have raised me. Plans are underway to start charitable outreach efforts in Hawaii, Alabama and Miami. Stay tuned, stay safe. Go fins! Blessed! https://twitter.com/MiamiDolphins/status/1260223696674881539 …

We have signed quarterback Tua Tagovailoa, defensive tackle Raekwon Davis, defensive end Curtis Weaver and long snapper Blake Ferguson.

2,754 people are talking about this

'The guys in that locker room'

The idea of becoming a star before even taking an NFL snap might be enough to make Dolphins coach Brian Flores' head spin. A champion of competition and team-first mentality, Flores probably doesn't care how many jerseys Tagovailoa sells as long as he produces on the field.

"The world will make you think that you're this superstar. And maybe you are, but it doesn't really matter," Flores said last November regarding any particular player's growing success. "The only thing that matters is the guys in that locker room."

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But there is an element of stardom Wade alluded to with which Flores probably will agree, and that's winning. The New England Patriotsbecame an NFL dynasty with a star quarterback because of their winning records and Super Bowl titles. The allure of Tagovailoa's star power will be embraced should the Dolphins become title contenders year in and year out.

Before worrying about the celebrity, the more timely concern revolves around when Tagovailoa will get on the field. Some argue he should be an immediate starter, while others suggest a redshirt 2020 season. The most likely result appears to be somewhere in the middle.

The Dolphins are in Year 2 of a dramatic rebuild, but Flores always wants to win. Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, the veteran incumbent, has the upper hand in securing the starting role for several reasons, thanks to his comfort in offensive coordinator Chan Gailey's scheme, his success guiding the Dolphins in 2019 (to five wins), his leadership in the locker room and a lack of a true offseason.

But Tagovailoa is also eager to learn under Fitzpatrick, saying on draft day in April that he wants "to understand the kind of person he is ... nitpick him, ask him how he goes about preparing for a defense ... and just being able to question him."

Fitzpatrick vows to be Tagovailoa's "biggest cheerleader," but he won't hand him the starting job in 2020. Tagovailoa probably wouldn't want it any other way, because when football returns, he will get the opportunity to prove his worth.

Once Tagovailoa hits the field, the hope is he gets to become the greatest version of himself instead of being constantly compared to Marino. That weight is too heavy.

But becoming the long-term face of the Dolphins and South Florida sports? That's well within Tagovailoa's grasp. Source - ESPN

[volcanofireflame150]

Life will find a way

Intro; Ch4

Chapter 3

After that interaction with Jongin, I've noticed that he seems very friendly when Jin is not around I'm guessing everyone is still a little on edge of what he did to Chloe, but hey, she deserved it for being mean to me for all these years, but other than that he's been a real keeper, thankfully I added his number to my phone but I wanted to then I decided I only wrote it down because I don't want Jin to find out that Jongin is going to hang out with me when I'm alone in situations like this when Jin and the BTS members goes on stage, he can keep me company while they go do their thing. Basically it feels like my 6 month internship just got removed because Jongin is not treating me like a staff member, no, he asked me out when I was just coming out of the bathroom, he asked, "Do you want to get a bite to eat? I mean, since Jin and the BTS members, I'm assuming that they left without knowing that you just got left behind." "I told them to go on without me," I said, "Though, Jin was very hesitant to leave without me because I really do want to conquer this phobia that I have." Then it was settled, he didn't want me to be alone because I guess some people do have a point, maybe I can't do this alone, I need to be around people in order to survive otherwise I'll go crazy, Jongin took me to his van where his band mates were, and he made sure that I sat near a window so I can stargaze, I love stargazing because I lose focus on what I am worrying about maybe I should've started that to conquer this fear. I ignored majority of the time when Jongin lightly nudged me and said, "We are here at our favorite cafe. Plus, you can eat as much as you want, don't starve yourself please, Y/N." "I'll take your word for it," I said, then headed out shortly after Jongin did. At least, these guys are gentleman, though it's only been 1 whole day and I already don't want to leave South Korea because I feel a strong pull towards Jongin. Which is why, I don't want to add him to my contacts because I do not want to get distracted when I'm at school or when I'm sleeping, I need my sleep.

Though, I have a feeling that Jongin knows about my feelings for him but I think he understands that I am still in high school and he will wait for me until I come back for him and Jin. Mainly Jin, I do not want him to get suspicious of what is going on between me and Jongin, plus I was thinking about doing my career on YouTube because Emile and Masea are really focused on what they are doing and they are getting paid for making these videos, I might as well, make my own content on YouTube, enough about that I was actually being stared at I looked and one of Jongin's friends asked, "What are you planning on doing once you get out of school?" I shrugged, thinking it was pointless of telling people on what I want to do for the rest of my life. Sehun said, "C'mon, we won't laugh, after all this is YOUR life, you can do whatever you want." "I want to make videos for a living," I said. I was expecting laughter but I got nothing, Jongin said, "That's a very good choice, you can actually do that if you know people who do make videos for a living." "Which I do," I said, "Basically, I'm technically part of a group called TheRunawayGuys, for short TRG, they are my American and Canadian friends from North America." "Ah, lucky," said one of the members. Jongin said, "Let me introduce you to the members, minus Sehun and myself, both of us are the young ones but Sehun is the youngest." "Alright," I said, "Continue." "This is Minseok, Junmyeon, Yixing, Baekhyun, Jongdae, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo," Jongin introduced them, "Don't worry about on why Kyungsoo is looking at you like that, he has very bad eye sight." "Where are his glasses?" I asked. Sehun said, "He brought them it's just he forgot that he left them in the van." "You mean these?" I asked, pulling out a pair of glasses. I handed the glasses to Kyungsoo and he took them, then said, "Thanks, sorry for making you slightly uncomfortable." "I wasn't frightened at all," I said. Basically everyone, but Jongin, were looking at me like I was crazy, Kyungsoo asked, "I don't scare you?" "No, I know someone who is WAY scarier than you," I said, referring to Masea Anela. She is scary when she wants to be, I only caught a glimpse of it but she immediately turned nice when it comes to me, she's only scary when she is alone with Emile. But anywho, I keep on referring things that happen only with Emile and Masea, I guess I really do miss them, I hope everything is alright. Once I got back to BigHit, I noticed a very concerned Jin, he asked, "Where were you?" "Jongin took me out to eat with his group," I said, "Is that a problem? I did chose his group as well." "That's right," said Jin, "It's just that it's very late at night and you should probably get some rest, I will not let anyone bother you since I know that you love to sleep which is why I let you get in the backseat to lay down and rest." "By the way, I just want to thank you for switching my life around because I really wanted some light in my life I always see dark," I said to him. Jin escorted me inside and I went to bed first, my 6 months only just begun, I don't think I'm going to meet Seventeen any time soon, I don't know if they debuted or not, that's fine by me. 3 months with BTS and 3 months with EXO is fine by me, especially when Jongin is my only thought at the moment. I got some good night sleep, Jin kept his word I slept for 8 or 10 hours, I asked, "How long was I asleep?" "Only 10 hours," said Namjoon, "You really needed that rest because you had a quite a day yesterday." "Yeah, I'm hoping these happy things keep happening I can finally conquer this fear I have," I said, "I just want you guys to know that sometimes other than my school work, I like to be alone in order to adjust to what is happening around me." "Ah, I get it," said Namjoon, "Don't worry, you'll conquer that fear, just remember that you are not alone this world. No one is ever alone this world, some people like you need help in order to fight on what they are afraid of." "This is wise for someone like you to say that to me and it's only my 1st day," I said, "Well, my 2nd day now since lot has happened." "Yeah, your first day was the award show, the flight does not count for us," said Hoseok, "If you want to cut your trip short we totally understand. Just know that you can always come back here whenever you want to." "I'll keep that in mind," I said, "Because I don't know where Jin is." "He's with Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin, so you are with me, Hoseok, and Yoongi," said Namjoon. I breathed in heavily and exhaled then said, "I don't want anyone to tell Jin but on the first day I felt a strong pulse and it's not one of you guys." "Oooooh, someone has fallen in love," said Hoseok. Namjoon said, "With that, I am out." He almost walked out and immediately walked back in asking, "Who is it?" "Kim Jongin from EXO," I said. Yoongi said, "I knew it, he's too kind to break anyone. But wait, what did he do?" "He reminds me of what Jin has been doing, making sure I get what I need and such," I said, "He allowed no one to bother me while I look at the stars because I love to stargaze." "Wow, I don't think Jin will allow you to do that," I heard Namjoon say. I couldn't help but feel like I need to see Jongin again before I go back to America, I mean yeah sure, Jin is my brother but he can't shield me from falling in love with someone. So, that's what I end up doing, it's not to hurt or upset Jin, basically I'm cutting my days with BTS and head over to EXO because I can only count on them to make me smile everyday. Yoongi asked, "Are you really sure about this?" "Of course, Jin seems to be only focused on this group, I don't want to be a burden to him whatsoever," I said, "I hope that he understands that he can only be a brother but not be the boss of me." After that I just left, with my stuff included, I went into SM Entertainment, expecting to meet the EXO members but I bumped into someone that I was not familiar with. He asked, "Are you lost?" "I'm looking for the group EXO," I said, "I cut my trip short with BTS and Seventeen." "Good thing you did because someone was expecting your arrival," he said. I was hoping for it to be Jongin and my prediction was correct, Jongin was waiting for me, then he said, "I guess this means you and I can spend some time without Jin looking over your shoulder." "Wait, was that who I think it was?" I asked. No wonder he sounded familiar, Jongin said, "I'm afraid he found out about my nice gestures, so he was upset that he let his protective side to get in the way of what you truly wanted." "As long as he continues to find out on what he is doing wrong and fixes it then he's more than welcome to be my brother because I have a family to go to," I said, "Just as long as he knows his boundaries, no one can control someone that's from America." Anywho he led me to the room where the others are, Baekhyun said, "Yay! Our intern is here!" "Back off, Byun!" said Jongin, in a very stern voice. Baekhyun looked at him then at Junmyeon, Junmyeon said, "Jongin has called dibs on her so you can't win against him." "Yeah, he was voted as the sexiest man in Korea," I heard Baekhyun mumble. I quickly looked at Jongin, which his face turned bright red, I asked, "Is this true?" "Yes," said Jongin, "Everyone calls me Kai, but you always call me Nini." "Shouldn't I be allowed to call you that?" I asked, "You gave me permission to call you that." "Yeah I know," said Jongin, "But most of the time you call me Jongin." "Only when I need to get you to listen or when you are in trouble," I said. Jongin said, "Which will never happen because I know that you will never find your stern voice and also I am much older than you, Missy." "KIM JONGIN!" I shouted, found my stern voice. He quickly took a step back, yeah, he stepped over a boundary, basically I shocked everyone, the room echoed my voice, so the room is very very quiet.

Oops..

[purplesurveys]

483

Is there a bus stop near your house?: No, buses don’t stop around my area and I only ever see them on EDSA, which is like the main highway of Metro Manila.

Do you prefer red wine or white wine?: I hate the shit out of wine but if I absolutely had to drink some, it has to be red. And it has to be more sweet than bitter.

What’s the last airport you were at? Why were you there?: NAIA. I’m literally at the Starbucks right across the airport right now because my mom is arriving from Hong Kong in an hour and I have to pick her up. 

Who do you live with?: I live with my family. That’s a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, a cat, and a dog.

Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like?: Yessssss all the time. I always browse through the Popular filter since it already compiles the best recent posts, but I’m a huge fan of the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit. People who turn out to be the assholes are hilaaaaarious.

Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend?: No. I ‘broke up’ with Aya as a friend when she was being abusive to Jo, but she’s since started working on getting better and has apologized to our friend group, so she’s back on my good side.

What’s the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside?: It’s 29ºC. I’m glad we’re not in the 30s, but I don’t appreciate how warm it still is.

Do you know anyone who’s had a baby recently?: As far as I know, no.

Have you used a pen or pencil today? What did you write down?: [continued from earlier because I had to pick my mom up lmao] Yes, I used a pen today. It was to write my name on a requirement that I needed to submit to complete my class.

What does your last text message say and who is it from?: "Can I call?” from my girlfriend.

Can you count how many times you’ve seen your favourite film?: Must be near a hundred. I talked about this in a recent survey but there was a time I watched Two for the Road everyday for like 2-3 months. I still make it a point to watch it several times a year. 

When was the last time you ate marshmallows?: I have no idea. I don’t like marshmallows; I’ve always hated the texture.

Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them?: Uhhh no, not really. If I REALLY REALLY like the guest, I’ll sometimes listen to Colt Cabana’s Art of Wrestling or Chris Jericho’s Talk is Jericho. But other than that, I’d rather watch YouTube videos.

How old will you be in the year 2030?: 32.

How often does the kettle in your house get used?: My mom never got one.

Does your skin bruise easily? Do you have any bruises right now? What from?: Yep, super. I don’t have a bruise right now but I do have a mysterious cut below my right knee. Have absolutely no idea where it came from, but apparently whatever cut it cut it deep and it hurts.

What was the last thing you spent $150 or more on?: I’ve never spent that amount of money on anything.

Do you prefer yes or no questions or more open-ended questions?: Open-ended. If I sense that a survey is becoming too yes-or-no I usually quit it halfway; it’s too boring.

What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy?: My mom buys the toiletries so I’m not aware of what brands she gets.

If I knocked on your door right now, would you be acceptable dressed?: Yes. I just got home and haven’t changed out of my jumpsuit.

Why did you leave your last job?: Never had one.

What colour were the last socks you wore?: It’s like a faded green.

Are you studying currently? What level of education and what do you study?: Yep! I’m an incoming senior in my BA in Journalism.

Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying?: No, that’s terrible.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?: Probably something from Buzzfeed Unsolved cause I’ve been rewatching it lately.

What’s your favourite scent of air freshener?: Meh, I prefer the natural car smell. Scents make me dizzy.

How many weddings have you ever been to?: Four, I think. All of those when I was a kid; I haven’t been to a wedding since 2007.

Do you know anyone named Nora?: I don’t think so.

Are your hands and feet in good condition or could you do with a mani-pedi? My fingernails can be trimmed, but it’s not like a mess or anything. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play?: We played a math version of Scrabble when we stayed over at Laurice’s house. I’ve never seen a game like it before lmfaaaaao it was so intense.

Have you ever been to a festival for beer or other type of alcohol?: Nope. I don’t think that would be my kind of scene, either.

Do you own a record player and/or vinyls?: I don’t have a record player so I don’t have vinyls.

When was the last time you went out for drinks?: Third week of May. Have you ever been to a strip club?: NO I really want to go to one though.

What’s your favourite kind of smoothie?: I don’t take smoothies.

Do you know anyone with a ‘virtue name’? (Google it): Hmm I don’t think so, but I know someone who wants to name their kid Prudence.

Would you ever wear real authentic leather?: Never.

Have you taken out the trash today?: Nope, I don’t do that around the house. How often do you wear make-up?: Very seldom. I had my face made up several times over the last few months because Kate sometimes gets bored and she’d want to give me a makeover, but other than that, I rarely get my face done for events.

What’s your opinion on The Simpsons?: I have a very soft spot for that episode where Homer sits on the hood of his car and looks at the stars after he separated from his mom. I don’t keep track of the rest of the show.

Do you prefer horizontal or vertical stripes?: Horizontal. I don’t think I’ve ever worn vertical ones before.

What’s your favourite brand of deodorant/antiperspirant?: I don’t have a favorite.

Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce?: No. We don’t have divorce in the Philippines. So it’s not because all the couples I know are staying strong – it’s literally because no one is allowed to divorce by law.

If you had the money, would you take taxis everywhere instead of driving?: No, taxi drivers can be creepy. I’d rather drive by myself.

Have you ever done a juice cleanse?: Nope. I don’t need it.

Do you have any friends who you can’t decide if they’re attractive or not?: HAHAHAHAHA WTF, that’s so messed up and such a shitty thing to do. Is the inside of your fridge clean right now or does it need a clean out?: It’s always clean. My mom doesn’t let any spot in the house go messy for long.

When was the last time you washed the dishes?: This morning before I left the house.

Are there any magazines that you read on a regular basis?: Nope, I haven’t read one in months.

Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in?: No, not in Antipolo. That’s why I love it here. Once I get to the city though we do have to pay for everything, yes.

What’s the first thing you tend to do when you have a headache?: Take a Biogesic. Takes it out immediately.

Tell me about your responsibilities at work.: I don’t have a legit job yet, but at my latest internship I did news monitoring, press releases, research, and made briefing forms for the media.

Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you?: No. I live in a gated subdivision so it is very quiet here. Have you ever had proper Canadian poutine with the squeaky cheese?: I have never tried poutine, what a damn shame. I wish I can encounter a restaurant that serves it cause it looks SO GOOD. Canadian cuisine is not very prominent here though so idk when I can ever get an authentic serving of poutine :(

Do your parents know how to operate smartphones and/or computers?: My dad is very techy, more so than me. My mom uses her phone for her Facebook and camera and nothing else. She still asks me to Google stuff for her even if her Chrome app is right beside Facebook.

How old are your parents, anyway?: My mom and dad are both 1971 babies so they are turning 48 this year.

Are you allergic to anything? What do you have to do to prevent them?: No. My skin can get very allergic to the environment (especially if it’s humid), but it’s not an allergy or anything.

What song is stuck in your head at the moment?: I haven’t been thinking of a song.

Do you hate it when people try really hard, or do you kinda like it?: Idk how to feel about them...like sometimes I’d think it’s hilarious but other times I’d feel sorry and just cringe. But I’m certain I don’t hate it.

What’s your boss’ first name? Do you call him/her by that name?: My boss at internship is named Dessa. I call her that but I address her with Ms. before her name too so that it’s respectful.

When was the last time you wore a uniform of any kind? What colour was it? I wore my old school uniform last year for funsies because I spotted it in our storage closet and felt a little nostalgic. No reason to wear it, just wanted to mess around. The blouse ws white, the necktie and skirt are plaid.

Do you complete a survey before taking this one? Will you take one after?: No. After this, I’m torn among a) getting a midnight snack, b) taking another survey, and c) watching RuPaul’s Drag Race since I started getting into it last night, hahaha. Have you ever lost enough weight to drop a dress size?: I probably have, except I wasn’t actively trying to achieve that.

What’s your favourite kind of bread?: White and brioche.

When was the last time you got pizza? What toppings did you get?: Last Thursday. We got a cheese pizza and a barbecue chicken pizza.

Do you own Monopoly? Is it the original or a special version?: We don’t. I don’t know how to play Monopoly haha it always seemed just so boring to me.

What was the last thing you said out loud?: "Whatcha doing?”

You have to choose one: cats or dogs?: Dogs.

Would someone being either a cat or dog person affect you dating them?: It probably would. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wants to own a cat with me. I love cats but I would never want them as a pet.

How do you travel to and from work?: I drive myself always. I don’t work yet, though.

Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why?: Cash, because I don’t have a card.

Have you ever been to a stadium concert?: I’ve been to arena concerts, if they mean the same thing lmao.

[wiinterrose]

          ( xavier serrano , cis male , he / him, 23 ) no way ! i swear i saw 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 walking down danforth avenue ! i just saw a post about them on 6secrets ! i think it said something like “𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐓 𝟓 𝐀𝐌 : 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 ?”. isn’t that wild ? i guess that makes sense since they’re apparently 𝐃𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐒 and 𝐂𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆. fans will claim that they’re 𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 and 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂.  i mean , it’s not like i know them personally — they’re a famous 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 / 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐑. whenever i think of them, i think of 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐓-𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐒, 𝐔𝐍𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒, & 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒. i wish i would have asked for an autograph ! ( oliver, they / them, 22, est ).

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

— mikey was born and raised in winnipeg because i think it’s funny when characters are from winnipeg. if you’re from winnipeg i’m so sorry. definitely was born on the coldest day of that year ( so like some point in january )

— but because of those long, cold harsh winters, mikey found himself in a dance studio a lot. his aunt was a dance teacher and with rather absent parents who meant well but both had long hours at the local hospital, he spent a lot of time with her. he fell in love with dance pretty early on, always having a certain fluidity and grace even when he was young.

— random but he also played hockey up until he was like 16 or whatever because he’s canadian and i’m not stupid. it happened. he can still skate tho. in a slightly different life he probably would have been a pretty good figure skater huh 🤔🤔🤔 but anyway...

— also feel like it makes sense that he did gymnastics. and trained in classical ballet.

— he went to university of toronto for college, studying kinesology and dance, and danced at one of the prestigious studios in the city.

— his big break moment was when in his sophomore year at ut, he made it onto the second season of world of dance in early 2017 ( lets pretend that show has been on longer than it has bc i don’t want it to be the first season of it sldk ). he made it all the way to the finals and quickly become a fan favorite along the way. though he ultimately placed second and missed out on the million dollars, that was the beginning of many doors opening for him. ( for those who, might have the vaguest clue what i’m talking about : i’m highkey feeling like, michael dameski style which is an idea i had after i named him michael so don’t @ me for him having the same first name ).

— millions watched that show, including some prominent agents and scouts who were able to help him launch a professional dance career : something he never thought he’d see himself actually doing. his first big gig was making the dance team for some singer’s north american tour, and he ended up not returning to ut to pursue a professional dance career full time. since then he’s danced in a few music videos for some uber famous musican ( same one he went on tour with or not idk ?? also a wc ?? maybe ?? ), a tv show, couple movies, and other various gigs around the city. he works part time at a studio when he has time, and has been honing his choreography skills as well.

— he makes enough dancing, but certainly not enough to make him RICH. no, that come from an impromptu vlog he did while on tour with aforementioned singer. having already garnered a following from world of dance, he soon rose to youtube fame as well, something he never could have predicted. i feel like his videos are very just, day in a life with various random athletic challenges mixed in, and various workout and flexibility tips. he also still does pieces and duets with other prominent dancers just for fun too. his natural charisma and attitude really just carries him through easily lmao.

— mikey developed a bit of a habit of sleeping around when he left for college, all the newfound freedom was just intoxicating and well. he was hot so. it wasn’t like it was hard alsdkjf. that stuck around well into his blossoming dance career. nothing that was enough to be scandalous, but he made his way around. and then a year and a half into this unforeseen new life, he met matthew glass.

— he’d had a couple serious relationships before, one in high school, one his freshman year of college but neither of them could hold a flame to what he felt when he was with matt. perfection wasn’t something mikey believed in, but he almost did with what they had.

— it was like for over a year and a half he lived in this insane dream, and then mikey and matt broke up and he was devastated ( behind closed doors and with curtains pulled tightly shut ).

— he then proceeded to broadcast how perfectly fine he was doing by going back to his old ways and sleeping around obsessively, this time with very little regard as to how many headlines he was making. as far as coping mechanisms go, i guess sex is better than alcohol ?? not to say he wasn’t also drunk at times l o l.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂

— mikey gets around. has definitely been trying to forget matty with other warm bodies but honestly it’s not working

— very bi. very much does not care. if the world didn’t know he was before, it definitely does now lmao. he hasn’t come out in the sense he’s like posted a video about it and said “i’m bisexual” but it’s pretty obvious from the media and maybe he has gotten asked in interviews and has just shrugged and been like does it matter ?? i’m sorry he’s not the vocal bi ally we need. perhaps we will work on that.

— hasn’t dated anyone since matt bc he’s highkey lowkey still hung up on him but no one needs to know that right. outwardly, he’s very much the same : seemingly happy, but he’s a lot more careful with his heart and letting people close to him. if anything he’s become a bit of a two-way mirror, always seeing out but never really letting people see in, just what they want to see.

— probably goes without saying but extremely flexible. idk if any of you know who juuse saros is but apparently he can twerk in a split and i’m not saying mikey can but like. he just might be able to...

— straight up does not get cold. never wears more than a hoodie, probably danced shirtless in the middle of winter just fine. at least being from winnipeg is good for one ( 1 ) thing.

— i feel like people call him flower. idk guys. maybe im just thinking too much abt hockey goalies.

— always posting on instagram stories. u kno the type.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

— he tends to be extremely underestimated as he comes across a bit dumb and generally has a pretty positive outlook on life which people confuse for him being naive when that isn’t the case. but he’s found he can use that it his advantage and that sometimes, people will tell him things they think he can’t understand but he hears and remembers everything. it’s helped him out of a few difficult situations before.

— i feel like he has a bit of ethan dolan’s personality & dumbass energy idk guys...

— live in the moment kind of dude. his motto is probably like : you just gotta know what you want to do next. i mean looking back on his life it’s been pretty crazy and that’s only solidified his outlook that like, you really can’t control too much. just let it go where it takes you.

— people do like him though and they like talking to him for whatever reason. generally has pretty trustworthy vibes but he’s more slippery than he comes across. he’s a selfish person at heart and always has his own best interests in mind, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first.

— extroverted. i think ??

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

— 6′1″. chocolate brown eyes. curly brown hair. he has a lithe but extremely fit build due to his career. his core strength is especially impressive.

— he has a monochromatic lineart tattoo of a rose on his left forearm / wrist and a butterfly ( again monochromatic & just lineart ) on his right shoulder. small scar at the base of his neck by his ear from an unfortunate hockey accident.

— needs glasses but usually only wears contacts unless he’s in his apartment late at night.

— he’s not overly fashionable, going more for comfort than how he generally looks. on a regular day, he’s probably got the whole... college athlete look going if you know what i mean. a big fan of mirrored aviator sunglasses. wouldn’t know what dressing up meant even if it slapped him in the face.

— PINTEREST BOARD

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

first and foremost i want to say that i like to vibe and brainstorm with people to come up with unique connections between our characters but here are a few ideas :

— ( f ) a close friend he has had on his channel a few times and fans passionately ship them but they’re really just good friends. maybe they play into the drama a few times as well tho. — the singer whose tour he danced on — singer whose music videos he’s been in — mayhaps even actors for that tv show / movie he was in ( v small role but whatevs. maybe they just Vibed yknow ) — flirtationship 😔 — always ye ol good hookup l o l — we keep running into each other idk maybe we should talk ??

TAKEN CONNECTIONS PAGE HERE

𝐎𝐎𝐂

         hey guys, i’m ollie. my intros are either written really eloquently or a big mess bc im trying to rub together a couple braincells at 1 am and whatever comes out, comes out. no need to guess which category this one falls into lmAO. anyway, i’m a slow plotter bc i’m easily overwhelmed trying to do too many things at once but i swear i will try to get to as many people as i can. and yeah this entire character is inspired by my love of world of dance don’t @ me... if u made it all the way down here u should watch this bc 😳 & mikey has the same athleticism and strength.

[acatex]

Hey Snarklings!

  Are you surprised that I’m still alive? I know I am (lols am I even relevant anymore?) Before I get into my whole MCAT prep strategy, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for leaving you guys in the dust. I have been very stressed lately and I just felt like I was letting you guys down which was why I made a really hard (but spontaneous) decision on my academic career. Of course I cannot comment right now on what I did/planning to do, but an upcoming blog post would be up in the next couple of days to explain the whole grey area that I was stuck in. Okay, it’s time to put away the tissue boxes and dive into every pre-meds worse nightmare: The Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT)

Disclaimer: This is my method and it may or may not work for you, so please take it with a grain of salt because, the way that I learn may be different from you, but it is a good idea to see how others approach this scary test.

What is the MCAT?

In short, the MCAT is a standardized test taken on a computer program to measure a prospective medical student’s potential to succeed medical school. Think of it as foreshadow of one’s ability to do well on painstakingly long exams that are cut up into blocks: Since most of medical schools in the US and Canada require doctors in training to take many board exams that can be 8-9 hours long.

Another reason why the MCAT is administered is to see whether the applicant can use background knowledge of the subject (biochemistry, biology, chemistry, psychology/sociology, physics, critical reasoning skills, etc) and integrate with other sciences to synthesize and draw an objective answer to a novel/unknown situation. This makes the MCAT different from others standardized tests such as SAT or ACT since these tests are more on memory recall and regurgitation, while the MCAT is more on integration and application to unknown situations. Think of it like this, when a doctor walks into a patient’s room, they know some things (the knowledge they’ve been taught in med school) and there’s probably things that they don’t know about a patient’s health, but when a doctor integrates what he/she knows and connect it to the unknown they can solve problems.

  What is the MCAT tested on?

Since, one of the reasons why the MCAT is administered is to test your endurance on future medical school board exams such as: USMLE step 1, step 2 CK, step 2 CS, Step 3  if you are in the United States or the MCCEE, NAC, MCCQE part 1, MCCQE part 2 in (Canadian boards), and Comlex Level 1, Level 2CE, Level 2PE, Level 3 (Osteopathic med schools/DO). They do this by testing you on undergraduate courses and are broken down into 4 sections/blocks

Chemical and Physical Foundations of Biological Systems

Critical Analysis and Reasoning Skills (CARS)

Biological and Biochemical Foundations of Living Systems

Psychological, Social and Biological Foundations of Behaviour

  Prior to Taking the MCAT

I highly recommend taking the required courses before taking the MCAT. The AAMC recommends to take the following pre-med classes:

Introductory (first year) Biology (2 semesters/1 year)

Introductory/General Chemistry (2 semesters/1 year)

Organic chemistry (2 semesters/1 year)

Biochemistry (1 semester)

Introductory Physics (2 semesters/1 year)

Psychology (1 semester)

Sociology (1 semester)

Now I never took a sociology class and I am planning on taking physics in my upcoming (and last) school year of uni. But that doesn’t really matter since you can just self study for it.

  Resources?

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So MCAT prep cannot be MCAT prep without a good set of MCAT books for you to review on. Now, there are many MCAT companies out there and a lot of people are confused on which one they would get to the point that everyone keeps on asking the same question: What books are YOU using? Hey, are those books good? Listen, your success on the MCAT does not depend on what company that you choose to get your books from. Why? Because it is you and how well you reviewed and practice those questions on a DAILY BASIS. I know people who got into med school by using Kaplan, I know people who got rejected who used Kaplan, and the same goes for other prep companies such as The Princeton Review, Examkrackers, The Berkely Review, etc. It doesn’t matter. Just pick one and stick with one. Do not. I repeat. DO NOT BUY TWO BOOKS OF THE SAME SUBJECT BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT ONE COMPANY DOES A BETTER “JOB.’ Again, It is you who will determine your own success, not a book.

Now, for me, I was about to buy the Kaplan MCAT series but, my mother surpised me on my 21st birthday with the NextStep MCAT Content Review and Practice Passages. At first, I was bummed out but as I went along, I realized that the books are doing its job: Helping me review what I learned in undergrad (wipes tears away; literally every time I turn a page I get flashbacks). And the best part is: It was free since it was my birthday gift so I did not have to spend a dime.

When I found something that I did not fully understand or the book did not give me a detailed answer I usually used Khan Academy videos (There’s a whole section just for the MCAT with practice problems). Other videos/channels worth mentioning:

AK Lectures for biochemistry and general chemistry (his explanations for thermodynamics is so straight to the point, they’re super clutch)

The Organic Chemistry Tutor: MCAT Test Prep General Chemistry Review Study Guide Part 1 and MCAT General Chemistry Lectures Review Prep Part 2 – Equations & Practice Questions

Leah4SciMCAT for doing MCAT Math Without a Calculator and Amino Acids for MCAT/Biochem students. I also looked at Fischer Projections for MCAT Orgo and Biochemistry which helped so much since she sues fun mnemonics and straight to the point concepts that just makes the learning fun and easy.

Bozeman science for their anatomy and physiology sections for every organ system mentioned in the biology MCAT book. I also looked at a video or two from the AP chemistry, AP biology, and AP physics (which I remembered fondly back in high school and so I’m familiar with them thus, I didn’t look at every video but just ones that I had trouble with, ex: transcription vs translation.)

  My method for studying: I tend to study in rotations or two chapters of the same subject a day until completion. The image below is how that looks like in my mini day planner:

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Since I do not have a job nor am I in school during the summer I was able to study for 8 hours a day and found myself going through rotations quicker than I expected. Before I go to bed I reviewed what I learned and anything that I do not finished I would have to finish in the morning before starting a new rotation.

  Active Learning

So when I start a new chapter I use my metacognitive abilities: What do I know vs what do I don’t know.

Let’s take the endocrine system as an example. I know that the endocrine is invovled in hormone secretion and regulation of the metabolic oathways that maintains homeostasis. I know an example of this would be aldosterone (a steroid hormone) and vasopressin (a peptide) hormone helps regulate homeostasis by repsonding to low fluid levels and by increasing fluid retention. But what I do not know is how exactly they achieve this: thus when I’m studying that’s my goal or my purpose. I am learning to apply and find answers to my questions.

Every time a paragraph says something about a hormone I would turn it into a question and write the answer in my own words. Here’s an example on tropic versus non tropic hormones:

In orange I wrote the section of the chapter: Regulation

I wrote a capital Q for question and A for answer.

And sometimes I write a little flow chart for easy summary of what I learned

The reason why I used this system was for 3 reasons: (1) By writing out the section in a different colour, it acts as a study guide (you know with all the topics/questions pertaining to one part of the chapter for a test). (2) Turning the info in a paragraph into a question and answers makes it interactive and makes you think about what you are learning; sort of like flashcards. I would cover the answer portion with another piece of paper and just talk/aggressively whisper out the answer (the answer doesn’t have to be word by word but just similar to what it is). (3) When it is time for revision: Your notes are in a Q/A format or like test which is better than writing a bunch of notes and just passively looking over.

Here’s another one on the hypothalamus-anterior pituitary-adrenal cortex axis (HPA)

As you can see I love flow charts for sequential pathways and showing the cause and effects of each step (what increases or decreases, which hormone is involved, etc)

I will write a more detailed post on what I put into my MCAT notebooks and what I look for when reading or extracting information from the review books. So just hold on and be patient.

  Practice, Practice, Practice

Knowledge is power but practice makes perfect. Remember that the MCAT will not really test your ability to recall facts straight from the book; this is not a trivia show. It is your ability to apply known information (your MCAT content review) and integrate them with other information in an unknown situation (the MCAT passages). That’s why I like that my MCAT books have practice passages at the end of each chapter. I also bought extra practice passages from NextStep because they really do help me understand the content and the timing. If you do not have practice passages right now, go to the Khan academy MCAT section and there’s loads of them (but they are really easy though).

Also, I really enjoyed watching videos on YouTube on how to approach passages and seeing what other people’s strategies and methods are. I tend to integrate what others do with my own method, but everyone is different so just take it with a grain of salt. Here are a couple of my favorite Youtubers, one of which is actually my best friend.

Amanda and Rich Show: MCAT Biology Passage Breakdown

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 Biochemistry Tutorial 1 (Amino Acids) – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: MCAT Biology/Biochemistry Passage Analysis (Acetylcholine) – CurveSetter MCAT Prep

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 Chemistry Tutorial 3 (Titration Passage) – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 Chemistry/Physics Selected MC 1 – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: Electricity and Magnetism MCAT Physics Passage – CurveSetter MCAT Prep

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 Biology Tutorial 1 (Neuron Passage) – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 CARS Tutorial 1 (Passage) – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 CARS Tutorial 1 (Questions) – CurveSetter Tutoring

SecondChance MCAT: MCAT Science Passage Breakdown #1

SecondChance MCAT: Full MCAT CARS Passage Breakdown (98% CARS Scorer)

Bless her Health: CARS WORKSHOP 08/24

Bless her Health: CARS WORKSHOP 08/28

  After going through a few passages or so, review your mistakes! Then again look up your Q/A notes and see where you went wrong. When you do this, you’re allocating your attention areas that need it. This really helped me retain information whilst, practicing applying concepts with other concepts. Another reason why, is that the questions on the MCAT are really different from your college classes. Again, you’re not regurgitating facts out, you’re applying what you know with what you don’t know by looking at superficial similarities and coming up with the best answer. Since this is a new skill, the only way to learn it is through practice.

I am planning on making a post about how I breakdown science and CARS passages as well so stay tuned.

Spaced Repetition Is Key

One of the keys to success for the MCAT is repetition for retention. If you do not review, you will forget it. That’s why I always made sure that after a section of a chapter I would look over what I had so far and really try to understand what I just learned and see how it relates to other chapters or to the other subjects in one way or another to get the BIG PICTURE. Then, before I go to sleep I will look over at the chapter again as a whole and annotate anything that I think needs more detail. Then the next day before starting a new chapter, I quickly look at all the previous chapters by talking aloud (or aggressively whispering if you’re around people, sorry to the girl at Starbucks who has to put up with my) and just make connections to it. Over time, I looked at all the previous chapters so much that I can recall many concepts.

Review while making your Q/A notes

review after making your Q/A notes

Look at your Q/A notes before you go to bed

Before starting a new chapter, look at all the previous Q/A notes to refresh your memory

1 day later look at your old Q/A notes then maybe 3 days later do it again

Congratulations, all the info you’ve mastered are now stored in your long term memory. It is permanent until you die (unless if you get amnesia).

  I hope this helps make up for my absence and don’t worry, I will post more on MCAT prep. So ciao for now, and stay flossy everyone.

  How I Prepare for the MCAT Part 1 Hey Snarklings! Are you surprised that I'm still alive? I know I am (lols am I even relevant anymore?) Before I get into my whole MCAT prep strategy, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for leaving you guys in the dust.