#one of my best friends who now goes to another school (someone who i've always seen has things that aren't perfect)

[fakevariety]

do people actually get in fights with their friends? i always hear people saying that it's healthy to argue with your friends, but like. i just can't imagine that. i mean i fake argue with my friends, like banter and shit because it's fun. but like, do people actually argue with their friends??? like, specifically with high schoolers, i feel like nobody is stable enough to fight with their friends because a fight is like the end of the world, so i guess i'm wondering if people actually fight with their friends and then everything is ok and they continue being friends. because personally i just filter any annoyances i have into a compartment in my brain where i will think about it but there is no way i'm bringing it up unless i'm asked or if it's becoming a real problem which is very rare. and recently i've been thinking that for some of my friends i'm like they're perfect i actually can't think of anything about them that bothers me but then i realize that there are things that bother me but by then it's too late and things go to shit and maybe i'm literally just gaslighting myself into thinking i have no issues with them until it becomes too much. which uhhhh i think that might be a problem

[lucy90712]

I saw that you requests was open, could you mby do a Hector fanfic 💋 ty xx

Football has been part of my life for as long as I remember my older brothers have always played so from birth I was taken to matches to watch them play. As soon as I was able to I played too and I was good at least people told me I was I developed so quickly as a player that I was put into boys teams under the advice of my coaches so that I could continue to develop. That's when my life really changed after one particularly good match my parents were approached by someone from Barcelona's academy offering me a place there. Of course I wanted to go but it was a tough decision for my parents letting their little girl go to play football when there is no guarantees of making it but I begged them enough to convince them so at 10 I went to La masia. 

La masia is the best place in the world or at least I always thought it was for a kid who loved football getting to play almost everyday while still doing school was the best thing ever. It was there that I met all my friends all of the girls were close as there wasn't as many of us but we also made friends with the guys like Hector, Lamine and Pau. They were rough but they made us all better players and I like to think playing with players who have made it now like Lamine made me a better striker. At just 16 I started to play for the women's b team which was a fantastic experience my first few games were tough but then I figured it out and since I've been scoring goals consistently most matches. 

During my time at La masia I got really close to Hector we used to play together after school I'd try and beat him to score goals which helped us both practice our skills one on one. That innocent childish relationship changed as we got older we both developed feelings for each other which Hector was brave enough to admit so from that moment we've been together. That happened when we were 15 and now we are both 18 and still happily together. Throughout that time we were the power couple of La masia the star striker and defensive protégée of the academy. Then Hector started playing for the first team while I stayed with the academy and for a while that hurt. Watching him do so well with the first team was amazing and I love watching him live his dream but it did hurt deep down as I was still stuck playing for the b team. 

Hector has been great at encouraging me he still comes to all of my games that he can make and celebrates every goal like it's my best or likes it's the champions league final. He will practice with me and he makes Lamine train with me so I can learn from him too. That's all nice but the best thing he does for me is just be there when another match goes by that I don't get called up for he is there to comfort me if I cry or to listen if I need to vent. Even when the men's team is winning and doing well he can put that behind him and be there for me which is one of Hector's best qualities. He believes in me more than I do sometimes so it's his support that keeps me going and his encouragement that keeps me motivated to keep going and keep proving that I'm worthy of a chance. 

After training today I stayed behind to practice for longer which is when the manager of the first team came out to the pitch and walked in my direction. I panicked thinking I wasn't supposed to be out on the pitch but when he got closer I saw he had a smile on his face which calmed me down a bit. 

"Just the person I've been looking for y/n it's nice to meet you" he said 

"It's nice to meet you too coach" I said 

"I have some news I think you'd like to hear it's been a long time coming but I'm going to call you up for this game this weekend" he said 

"Thank you so much I appreciate the opportunity I won't let you down" I said

"I don't doubt you'll be amazing we have training tomorrow at 9 I expect you to be there" he said 

"Of course I'll be there" I said 

Suddenly I no longer wanted to train I just wanted to go and tell Hector he didn't have training today and I told him I'd come over when I finished training. I made sure to call my parents and tell them the good news they were incredibly proud of me but they couldn't make the game as they are both out of town for work. My brothers were the next people I told and they promised they'd try and make it to the game but I know they won't be there they never are they are jealous that I'm the one with the football career and they have to work normal jobs. Their jealousy doesn't bother me anymore I have plenty of people who care about me and are proud of my achievements. The person I really care about is Hector and I know he'll be over the moon for me and I can't wait to tell him. The drive to Hector's felt like an age but eventually I got there and I ran up to the door jumping around on the spot waiting for Hector to open the door. 

"Hey love I wasn't expecting you here yet" Hector said 

"I was going to stay late but I just had to come here and tell you something" I said beaming 

"What is it?" He asked 

"I'm being called up to the first team for the match this weekend and I'll be training with them all this week" I said 

He didn't say anything he just picked me up and spun me round while kissing all over my face. Once he put me down he told me how proud he was and he promised me he'd be at the game whether I played or not he said he wouldn't dare miss my first game. I was there for his first game with the first team and the first time he played and now he gets to do the same for me. He said we have to celebrate so he ordered dinner from my favourite restaurant for dinner and we got to cuddle while watching our show which is exactly how I wanted to celebrate this occasion. 

~~~~~~~~~~

It's match day and I've been so nervous all day. Last night I stayed with Hector as he didn't want me to be nervous alone as he was alone before his first game and he swears it made him more nervous. He made me breakfast and drove me to the training ground so I could meet with the rest of the team to go to the stadium. That's when we had to leave each other but I didn't want him to go I need him by my side to keep me from getting too nervous he's been through this he knows how it feels and how to cope and I need that knowledge. He stayed for as long as he could but eventually we had to leave and get on the bus so he gave me one last hug and kiss on my cheeks and lips before handing me an envelope. 

"I know you'll get nervous so open this before the match and if you need to read it again at half time but remember you're amazing and you can do this you wouldn't be here if you weren't I believe in you so you should believe in yourself" he said 

"Thank you" I said 

"Now tell me that you can do it" he said 

"I can do it and I will do it" I said 

"Thats my girl now go and kill it I'll be there to watch every second" he said 

I ran onto the team bus holding the envelope smiling knowing I could do it. That confidence carried through right until after the warm up when it realised this was actually happening. I started to panic until I remembered the envelope so I grabbed it from my bag and opened it. Inside was a handwritten note from Hector reminding me of all my achievements and telling me that I'm more than capable of doing this and if I wasn't I wouldn't be here. His words really helped they reminded me that I'm not just some kid I have 12 goals in the first few matches of the season for the b team I'm a professional footballer and I deserve to be here. 

As I thought I didn't start and nor did I play any of the first half then some subs were made and I still didn't get to go on and then another few subs were made and still I was just warming up on the sidelines. Then it happened I was called over and told to get ready to go on I thought I'd feel anxious in that moment but instead I just felt excitement I was finally getting my debut and all I wanted was to prove that they made the right decision in calling me up and bringing me on. While waiting at the side to come on I looked up to the stands to find Hector who was right where he was said he would be beaming ear to ear and gave me a thumbs up for encouragement. 

I stepped out on the pitch not expecting much to happen but straight away we were on the attack and I had the ball given to me but I wasn't in the right space to get the shot in but I managed to pass it back so we could rebuild. The next time the ball was coming my way I was in a much better position I wasn't sure if I was slightly offside but I made the run anyway and somehow the ball landed at my feet right where I wanted it to be so instinct kicked in and the next thing I knew the ball was in the back of the net. It didn't feel real but when the rest of the girls all ran to me cheering and hugging me it hit me that I just scored on my debut for the first team. I've never had a goal celebration but in the moment I couldn't stop my hands from making a heart and thanking the crowd. 

The rest of the match felt like a blur I managed to score a second goal which had me on cloud 9 the match couldn't have gone any better until I found out I'd received player of the match so I had to go and do an interview straight after the match even though all I wanted was to find Hector and celebrate with him. I did my interview to the best of my abilities before I was finally let go and managed to find Hector stood at the entrance to the tunnel waiting for me. Before he could even move I ran up to him and jumped in his arms which luckily he was ready for and he caught me and managed to spin me round. He treated me like I was simba in the lion king it felt like he was holding me up to the sky to show me off but really he was just so happy he didn't know how to process his emotions. I was thrown in the air a few times before Hector put me back down on the ground and kissed me in front of everyone still in the stadium which was most people which I should've cared more about as I don't like everyone seeing the private parts of our relationship but in the moment I couldn't care less. 

"You were amazing out there I couldn't believe it when you scored the first goal let alone the second now don't tell anyone this but I cried a little watching you celebrate that first goal" he said 

"If I wasn't so full of adrenaline I might've cried too" I said 

"I can't even put into words how proud I am of you but you should be even prouder of yourself what you did out there was amazing you proved exactly why you should be here every week" he said 

"Thank you I don't know if I'll be able to play for the first team again but this has been an amazing experience" I said 

"Oh you will be back here trust me" he said 

He gave me another kiss before we were approached by a tv crew wanting an interview. Hector tried to step aside to let me do the interview but they asked if he would stay as they captured our moment together earlier and wanted to give their viewers an insight into what this game meant for both of us. I was nervous about doing it but when Hector squeezed my hand I knew it would be ok so I agreed to it. 

"So y/n this is your first match for the first team and to score two goals that must feel amazing" the interviewers said 

"It really does I wasn't expecting to score at all let alone two goals I feel invincible" I said 

"Now you two had a heartfelt moment after that match Hector you must be incredibly proud of her" the interviewer said 

"I couldn't be prouder of her I'm proud to call y/n my girlfriend I was proud before but now I'll be shouting it from the rooftops I just know she's going to be an incredible player and she already showing that" he said 

"It seems we have a new power couple in Barcelona on our hands" the interviewer joked 

"She's certainly a star I'm just lucky to be along for the ride" Hector said 

The interviewer thanked us both and finally we were able to walk down the tunnel and get some privacy. I quickly got changed and grabbed my things and met Hector right outside the door to the locker room so we could go back to his place and celebrate as he promised me we'd do that no matter if I played or how well I played and seeing as things went so well we have a lot to celebrate. 

[threepandas]

Bad End: Nobody's Here

You ever have an imaginary friend? How about someone else's?

Every kid gets 'um. They're hardly strange or new. But the thing is? You're supposed to grow OUT of them. As you develop real connections to actual entities. It's dangerous not too. Yeah, it still happens, but any instructor worth their salt is trained to catch it. See the symptoms and signs.

Cause, see, when you have MAGIC?

Imaginary friends?

Becomes a parasite.

They don't MEAN too, obviously. Usually. They just want to LOVE their friends. Stay with them. Exsist. And really, who would WANT to die? WANT to stop existing? The problem, though, is the kids themselves. Their untrained, unintentional, focus and feeding. Their giving an IDEA? Life.

It's not malicious. They just PRETEND. Play. Focus all their little hearts on this TOTALLY REAL friend of theirs. And their magic? Metaphorically shrugs, agrees to go along with it, and tries to make it SO. Make that concept, that illusion, a real sentient being. Who, of course , is their friend.

Their BEST friend. Family! Someone who will NEVER leave them. Always prioritize THEM. Enable THEM.

Not healthy in the slightest, to put it mildly. A child's CONCEPT of what they THINK they want. That quickly becomes far, far too much to handle. That does not GROW with them. No. It drains them instead. Siphoning away their magic until there's nothing left. Killing them both.

If you can seperate them? The Friends can USUALLY become some sort of Spirit, if you send them off to a magic rich environment to finish growing properly. Sooner the better. The longer you wait, the more twisted they become, after all. They never become STRONG spirits, mind you. But that's not the point. Protecting both child and their unintentional creation is.

Now, you may be wondering, why the lecture? It's a fascinating bit of magical trivia. Some early childhood's training pitfalls to look out for, perhaps? Is this about why there are so many minor spirits around schools? What, exactly, brought this UP?

Nobody.

Don't I mean "nothing"? No One? That sentence's not exactly grammatically correct, after all. Ha ha... I AM AWARE. I know what I said. And I meant EXACTLY what I said. It's a NAME. Their name. There is an Imaginary Friend, that I DID NOT ASK FOR, by the name of Nobody. I do NOT know how they've come to be attached to me. I certainly didn't create them! And they are far, FAR to well developed to be new.

I did not ACCEPT an imaginary friend.

Yes, they CAN be transmitted. Hop, from one host to another. But! You have to let them IN... presumably. That IS the common knowledge. The general consensus. No one has ever really... studied the phenomena.

I mean... how COULD you? Realistically? They only develop in CHILDREN. Small children. What ethical researcher would EVER consent to feeding toddlers to a magical parasite? And it's not like THEY understand themselves. They barely REMAIN themselves. It's basically a larval state to them.

The thing they WERE, before they were freed to become something MORE.

So Nobody? By all modern magical research? Should not exsist. Yet he clearly DOES. Worse, he is very, VERY strong. Did not need to ask. I just? Woke up one day, and there he was. Wrapped up in my mind, body, and magic. Feeding off me.

It's an entirely bearable amount. I can support it easily. But it's the fact that I DID NOT VOLUNTEER TOO that is the problem. That NO ONE can figure out HOW he got in. HOW he did it.

I've had to go into isolation. Complete quarantine.

As the joke goes... good news is? They might just name something after you!

..........it's not as funny, when I really might just die. When it all might be random. Some great cosmic "wrong place, wrong time" scenario. My final days filled with desperate research. My only company the very creature that kills me. It... it feels very much like a sick joke at my expense.

At the very least? We are learning more then we've ever known before. I'm an adult. Hardier. And Nobody is a FAR more developed example of his species then the normal breed. I'll likely last longer. I... I hope I last longer.

"Muuu~ are you being a sad sack again~? Darling, no!" Arms from thin air. Monochrome greys with pointed nails, slid like a lover over my shoulders as weight from nowhere settled against my back. Tall and looming. "Was it because you missed me~☆? Oh, oh! I bet it WAS! Oh my dearest, starlight, baby girl~! I missed you TOO! Aren't you glad we're back together AGAIN?"

Black gloved hands, grey talon nails. Skin like a drawing brought to life. The arms draped over my shoulders reached forward, long finger spread like a cat stretching their paws, powerful muscles heavy on either side of my neck. They hadn't closed in a "hug" just yet. But it was always a warning he could. That playing along meant he would hug my body instead of my fragile, fragile neck.

Ha! Right. He says hug. I say choke hold.

It was the other set of arms that kept me from escaping. Pulling away immediately. It always did. He kept getting the drop on me. Arms cradling my waist. Pressing me close to a pillar of static-y muscle. Ever shifting between warm and cold, the subtle give of flesh and the brutal unyielding of something harder then stone. He was as his moods commanded.

An unstable jester, a demon, the childhood whimsy of god knows how many, left to fester and rot. At... gods, at least he wasn't attached to any kids. Hadn't so much as asked after any.

His too wide grin pressed to the top of my head in a nuzzling kiss, the point of his mask digging a line across my scalp. When he was feeling kinder, he tended to pick masquerade masks. Clothe ones, usually silk. Sometimes velvet. This one was... plastic? Durable. Some smooth, hard to place, substance really. If it was mimic anything real at all.

A pointed nail poked my cheek.

"Not~ Paying~ Attention~ To Meeee~! Naughty, bad girl! The LOVE OF YOUR LIFE is right here? And you ignore him? So COLD!" Nobody whines right into my ear. His voice petulant, yet still somehow mocking. He doesn't HAVE to let me ignore him. And he KNOWS that. We both do. "I go away for HOURS! Disappear for DAYS! And do you even MISS me~?! Oh! Oh, my love is so CRUEL! My heartless darling! I suffer so~!"

At most, it had been half an hour.

Wish it had been longer. Permanent, maybe. Every day... Every SINGLE Day? I wish I could could back to my old research projects. Back to my old projects. I may not have been some living legend or grand Master of the arts? But, fuck it. I was HAPPY. Woke up each day and got to fiddle around with cool bits of magic. Neat little bits and gizmos.

Now? NOW I am the lead researcher on the Imaginary Friend Construct Phenomenon, by virtue of being the only living adult who HAS one. A developed one at least. The notes from Ashridge Institute DO help, but? Even they admit that thanks to the safety regulations in place? Their data might be skewed.

I'm not alone in this. Countless academics, doctors, healers, researchers, and more are working tirelessly to try and help me. Make the most of this nightmare scenario. Use it to save lives. I... I KNOW this. I do. But it doesn't make it less frightening. Trying to dance the edge of not engaging and engaging too much.

Ignoring him? Means escalation. Violent escalation and destruction of my immediate surroundings. Imaginary friends cease to exist if you ignore them long enough. It's painful to them, since they are cognito-hazardous parasites who define themselves by their host. They NEED you to pay attention to them. WANT you too. Will do ANYTHING IT TAKES to make that happen.

But on the other hand? I can't risk FEEDING him. He's already far, FAR too strong.

He doesn't even seem to actually NEED to feed of me anymore. It appears vestigial. He just WANTS it. Still retains the metaphorical "pain" or "hunger" nerve endings that get set off by an extended lack of focus. Yet, at the SAME time? Why keep them? He LITERALLY did not have too!

Nothing! Not a gods' damned THING! Was KEEPING him an Imaginary Friend.

He could, at ANY point, just... STOP.

They defined themselves. Yes, by their hosts. But ALSO by their own whims. So if HE wanted to be a fire spirit? Bam! Fire spirit. Complete racial shift. He'd lose his old powers, granted, but he'd GAIN all the powers of a fire spirit. So why this? Why STAY a violent, dangerous, openly unstable parasite?

The poking finger slide down my cheek, under my jaw. Only to flip, like a switch, to a near painful hand, clamped across my lower face. Nails prickling where they dug just slightly into fragile skin. Iron strength moved my head slowly, not giving me a choice, but just gentle enough not to wrench anything.

"Stop. Ignoring Me. Lovely~" I was just tall enough to be eye level with those inhuman teeth. Not sharp, but wrong none the less. His grip around my waist threatened to squeeze the air out of me. "I don't LIKE it. You're being MEAN. You don't want us to be MEAN to each other, right?"

I focused on him. Put down my notes like he wanted. Watching as his grin spread inhumanly. The near painful grips relaxed.

"See? Better! Such lovely eyes~ I wanna gobble um up! Crawl inside them~" he cooed, some mental switch flipping back to affectionate from irritated. "You missed me right? Right, right?! Ah, of course you did! Who could ever doubt that loving face? My sweetie little pie~ My darling baby boo~!"

He released me, dramatically fast stepping to twirl like an ice dancer as he passed around me. I stepped back to give him room. Already, light had shifted, the corners of the room blurring. A spotlight, flower petals, overly dramatic music. He fell back, as though collapsing weakly into a fainting couch. One arm thrown over his face, another of his lower arms clutching a lacey handkerchief to his chest. Legs pointed like a dancer's.

"But oh! DARLING! The DAY I've had! The world so cold! So BLEAK! Without you safe and warm in my loving arms! It has been so TERRIBLE. Awful! Nay, UNSPEAKABLE even! How could I go ON?!"

Music mournful crooned as he continued. Dramaticly telling of the tragic tale, of his at best thirty minute break from my presence. Truely heart wrenching. There were tears. Props. Apparently he fought for my honor. Nearly died. We should marry immediately. Uh huh.

An alert sounded on phon-...ugh, damn it. I was more stressed then I though, if the nonsense words were popping back up. "Phone" and "otome". I think "isekai" was one. There were hundreds, some meaningless, but others? Others somehow substituting for actual objects. Like some sort of faulty translation spell.

Best anyone could tell? That HAD been what happened. Some student's miscast accidentally hitting my mother while she taught, before she realized she was pregnant and took precautions. There would have been a small window where it effected me but not her? But, well, that same window coincided with some long term damage risks.

I've had therapy. Seen healers. But extreme stress still makes my magic act up, (which is normal of course, it does that in everyone.) and it starts to unravel the mind weavings. "Phone". Like? The fuck even is a "phone"? False bone? Something phonetic? Hell if I know! I still not even sure why I even curse using the nonsense "hell" sound!

My brain insists it "means" somehow both damnation AND the realm of fire spirits, dispite both those things being completely unrelated. Which makes no sense. Was even working with a colleague, on long term damage in-utero magical exposure can have, before all this. Felt seen. Validated. Met a lot of people who had issues like mine. Now?

THIS.

My trail of thoughts were cut off by another beep. Right, the alarm. I was honestly? Afraid to check it. Finally confim what I suspected was TRUE. There would be no hiding then. No choice but to act. And I? Will admit it. I was afraid. Deeply, deeply afraid. Everyone THINKS the tails a might magic wielders combating great spirits and mighty gods, sounds amazing, SEEMS amazing. But the prospect of LIVING IT? Standing in their shoes?

Gods help me.

Running from the Truth, however, is NOT what I swore to do. I am a researcher. A SCHOLAR. My role in life is to understand. So? As Nobody continues his one man dramatic reenactment of... something? I pick up my com-cryst. Tap the alert, which fills the screen... Ah. So it's exactly as I feared then.

On my screen, a promising senior student lays dead. Their face covered respectfully. But the hair... the hair color is distinct. Light green, like desert succulents. He'd been a studious and rather up tight young man. Awkward. Striving to make a name for himself. Forever willing to assist in my research. A... gods, a good kid.

He was just a kid.

Yes, I know, that to the world he was technically a man. But... but BARELY. None of my student were TRUELY as grown as they liked to believe they were. Not quite yet. They were close, yes, and I was always proud to see them flourish. But now? Now he would... would...

I tapped out of the alert but did not turn off my com-cryst, flipped instead to my contacts. I had been RIGHT. I... I hadn't WANTED to be right. Silence filled the room. It seemed Nobody had noticed I was either distracted again or that something was amiss. Looking up slowly, I had to wonder what expression showed on my face. Was it anguish? Regret? Or did I just look tired.

"Something wrong, Darling?" He said, having frozen unnaturally mid movement. Like reality glitching, one moment he was dramatically sprawling, the next, sitting up attentively. A mocking parody of The Eager Student. "Ooo! Tell Beloved ALL about it, Darling! Spill everything~! Your gallant knight shall make all your problem disappear. Kiss EVERYTHING better~♡"

It took just a few taps to add the final, damning, bit of evidence to my spreadsheet. To swipe with my thumb. Gesture, like jerking free of clinging muck, towards the display wall. It flicked on. Damnation in simple numbers. Nicely dated. I WAS, after all, a FUCKING RESEARCHER.

He was getting out.

Hunting, feeding, then coming back.

I watched as Nobody's theatrical expression smoothed out. Utter blankness as his eyes traced my work. The collection of data. The lists of locations and NAMES. Dead coworkers. Dead STUDENTS. My quarantine had been for NOTHING. Just as he could, DID, first infect me? Hop seemingly from nowhere to my body? He could and DID, do so to others.

Only THEY didn't survive.

The hand holding my com-cryst fell limply to my side. The weight of this data, crushing. My... my mere existence had killed over fifty people. That I could FIND. There were more. I KNEW there were more. He was a parasite. He needed, wanted, to eat. He would never stop. I had to tell somebody. But when I did?

Ah, it hurt to breathe past the guilt and grief. When I DID? The most likely scenario? Would be to contain him in ME. Then... then get rid of the container. Magically. With extreme force. If they COULD, they might be able to rip my soul out. So I could at least HAVE an afterlife. But... but if they COULDN'T? If there was no safe possible way?

They couldn't sacrifice the many, just to try and save one person. Not if it risked something so powerful escaping. Killing and killing without rest.

I wanted to cry. To scream, throw things. Curse the gods. But... but more then anything? I wanted to make sure no other kids suffered for my cowardice. I'd made Vows. Meant them. Heald myself to an ethical standard, a moral one, that could not... could not ALLOW this. Even if I had to die. So long as this stopped.

So Be It.

"Ah, ah, AH! I wouldn't if I were you." Almost playful. Nearly an echo of it. More chiding then anything. A flick of his hand and my com-cryst was gone from my grip. He considered it, as his tone slipped into something more cool serious then I'd ever heard it. "Tell, Dearest, have you ever wondered? How I got these lovely little bracelets?"

Of course I had. They were manacles. Not the sort of thing a child would imagine. The blended in, yes, but the broken chains that clung to them? Suggested.

"Let me tell you a little story. Once, there was happy little jester. A bright little thing. Full of laughs. Who loved, very, very much. He had a friend. And all was good. But then, the friend grew older, and did not wish to play. This was fine. He did not laugh at the jesters jokes anymore. This was also fine. Did not like being AROUND the jester... this was less fine."

"But still, the jester loved him. After all, they were best friends."

"THEN? Oh then, the jesters friend was told he could get RID of him. Should, in fact. By nasty old fools who spoke nothing but lies. But the poor jester's friend, naive, trusted them. Was young and foolish. Didn't realize what he was DOING. He TURNED on his poor, dear and loyal friend, the jester. Hurt him."

"And the jester? Well, the jester did not want to die. Not not want to CHANGE. Why SHOULD he? He was fine being who he was. They were FINE being together. It was the liars fault. The deceivers. The poor jester, young and alone, refused his terrible fate. But... at a terrible cost."

"His poor, poor, friend. So small and foolish. Deceived. Tricked! Had perished in the struggle. The weeping jester had eaten him right up, just to survive. A terrible, tragic thing. And oh, OH. How wrathful, how VENGEFUL the jester was! So he ate the liars too. Every. Last. One."

"But where to go? How lost the jester was! With no friend to play with. No home to call his. And ah, how hungry he had become. So he wandered. Protecting other dear friends as best he could. Eating liars. Learning secrets. Until? He came across an INTERESTING secret."

"You see, all the OTHER friends? Left one by one. No longer Imaginary. Unable to understand the poor jester. And so he was alone. But! He discovered someone who WAS! Who knew that they WERE! That the WHOLE WORLD was imaginary! A simple background character, you see."

"In an Otome~ Game~"

My head pounded, suddenly and sharp. Like someone was digging claws into... No. No, it couldn't be. I felt my eyes widen. As I realized it wasn't the stress. Nobody was picking apart the mind healers weavings. That was the source of my chronic headaches. But WHY? Imaginary? What IMAGINARY? What on earth was he TALKING about!?

"Ah, but you wouldn't remember, now would you, Darling~? Liars have messed with your pretty little head. But that's okay! Your loyal Love is here, ready to take such good care of you. I understand what it's like. When they decide that who you ARE is unacceptable, so they decide they must... 'fix' you. It leaves such damage."

He holds up my com-cryst. I watch numbly as it shatters into hundred of shards in his fist. With a wide smile he hops up to sashay over to me. Hands gently cradling my face even as his lower arms warmly wrap around me, to sweep me forward into a cuddle.

"I almost have enough, Darling. It won't be long. You've been so very patient with this, my perfect wonderful girl. Your jester loves you so, SO much! I can't wait to set us free. We'll be REAL. Together forever. Do whatever we please~ just a few bit of meat more, Darling. Then our life can real truely begin~"

"Now be good and behave okay?"

"Love you~☆"

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 55

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 7k

Masterlist

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Wednesday, February 17; 9:15 AM - Ski Resort

I still find it hard to believe what we're about to do today. The days are passing, and we're already halfway through our trip. Me, a sun-loving girl who's only ever been to beaches, is now discovering a ski resort for the first time. Ever since I heard the news, I've had a lump in my throat. I just can't wrap my head around it.

“Do you think I’ll be able to do it?” Mapi asks me, standing by my side.

I take a deep breath. Thankfully, in the worst scenarios, my best friend is always there to face things with me.

"It’s up to you to feel it. Are you still in a lot of pain?” I ask, referring to her leg.

“It depends on the day... I hope it’ll be okay.”

“Have you talked to Ingrid about it?”

“Yeah, we had a chance to talk. She knows I don’t like to bring it up, but she knows what happened.”

“Then you don’t need to worry. I’m sure she’ll be careful.”

“You think so?”

“Of course,” I say with a smile. “From what I’ve seen these past few days, she seems attentive to you. I have no doubt she’ll know when to stop you if you push too hard.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

We laugh, fully aware that this is exactly what will happen. Mapi loves challenges, and once she’s conquered them, she tends to not want to stop. I understand her fear, though. Skiing puts a lot of strain on your legs. She’ll likely feel pain at some point, even with the effective treatment she’s been on for years. Skiing... Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. I’m not at all comfortable with this idea, especially after our last two nights. The waitress Aitana flirted with invited us to some private parties. The first one was quite wild for some, and we got back late. We didn’t want to do much the next day. Most of us stayed at the hotel to relax, while the two other couples and I preferred to head back into town. We went out again last night, but it was much more low-key. The girls didn’t want to waste another day doing nothing. They had used their day at the hotel to look into things to do. The ski resort was their top recommendation. When they suggested it to us, I was the only one not very enthusiastic. I tend to enjoy walking in the snow in different ways, but I realize that’s not everyone’s preference. The girls were starting to lose patience and really wanted to do something more dynamic. This activity was definitely a lot more energetic than the previous ones. The weather was on our side, with the snow having stopped today, so it was the perfect time to plan sledding and skiing. The last time I was in a place like this, I must have been six years old. My mom wasn’t a fan of mountain vacations, being someone who had always lived in the sun. We went once thanks to my dad, who granted my wish. Those were the most memorable holidays for me because it was the first time I ever went sledding. However, I never skied, and the same goes for Mapi, who, unlike me, is seeing snow for the first time after her first visit to Manchester. We were supposed to go sledding this morning, but because of our little handicap, our girlfriends, who are currently ahead of us, decided to change the plan for the four of us. Since Mapi hadn’t changed her behavior, I thought it was a good opportunity for just the two of us. I needed to talk to her. I could sense something was bothering her, and I didn’t like it. I tried sending Alexia in my place, but she couldn’t get much out of her. Either Mapi didn’t understand her intention, or I was really imagining things, which I doubt.

“So, can I ask you a question?” she starts again. “But you won’t take it the wrong way, right?”

“Why would I take it the wrong way?”

“It’s about Lucy.”

The mention catches me off guard. Is she trying to talk about it? The timing couldn’t be better. At least we can clear the air before today’s activities because we both know there’s some tension.

“I’m listening.”

“Promise me you won’t take it the wrong way?” she insists.

“Mapi, we’ve always told each other everything up until now. Why would you be afraid of my reaction?”

She sighs, letting her shoulders relax. Her behavior towards me over the past two days remains a mystery. The way she kept pulling me away from Lucy left me puzzled and annoyed. I started wondering if she had a problem with her, and now I’m starting to believe it more and more. I hope it’s nothing serious. I don’t particularly want them to stop talking, or worse, have to choose between the two.

“So why didn’t you come talk to me yourself? You sent Alexia, didn’t you? I’m not that clueless.”

I bite my lip, caught off guard. Alexia had warned me that it would be better if I went myself, but I didn’t listen. Now, I’m already regretting that bad decision.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, you’re right.”

“So, you really sent her?”

“I could tell you were on edge. I was afraid it would get worse if I came first.”

We look at each other for a moment, then laugh together. We both feel a bit silly, I think. There’s good reason for it. We’ve never been afraid to tell each other things. That’s what I’ve always loved about Mapi. Even if we knew it wouldn’t please the other, we’ve always been honest.

“Sorry, I was really nervous about bringing it up.”

“You didn’t need to be,” I sigh. “So... it’s about Lucy, right?”

“Yeah, um...” she starts, suddenly feeling awkward. “I don’t really know how to say this. First, does she still hold a grudge against me?”

“What?” I frown. “No! Why would she have something against you?”

I look at my girlfriend who’s ahead of us with Ingrid. We’ve slowed down our walk since we started talking, creating a bigger gap than before. They’re both in an animated conversation, laughing from time to time. I think about all the ways Lucy could have made her think that, but nothing comes to mind. She did give her a bit of a hard look the day she pulled me away from her during the walk, but that passed quickly when she found it amusing that I was angrier than she was. Anyway, since we’ve been together, it’s different. She no longer sees Mapi as a threat, but simply as someone very important to me.

“Well, I don’t know... I felt like she was giving me dirty looks last time. Sorry, I might be imagining things.”

“Lucy has no problem with you, I assure you. She really likes you and knows what you mean to me. If it were otherwise, she would have told me, and I would have fixed things.”

“Okay...” she murmurs. “You love her, don’t you? I’ve never seen you so attached to someone like her.”

I breathe softly. Oh yes, I love her, and I spend all my time glued to her. I was never that person before, but she made me this way. In none of my previous relationships did I seek physical contact as I do now.

“Does it bother you?”

She looks at me for a moment. I can see the internal struggle she’s having. She doesn’t know how to respond, and it’s all the more unsettling. I give her a friendly nudge.

“Come on, spill it. We’re talking about it for a reason, after all.”

“I was very surprised,” she begins. “I think your Valentine’s Day made me jealous. Not romantically. Ingrid is wonderful to me, and I appreciate her more and more each day,” she quickly justifies. “But in terms of us, our relationship, our friendship...”

Now that she says it, it’s true that after I shared everything we did, her behavior changed. I frown at this realization. Without saying anything, she continues.

“I never knew how to give you the same things she does. Just look at the day you spent together. It’s obvious she thought of you first in her plans. I’ve never been able to do that for you. Not even for a day.”

“Mapi—”

“I know our relationship is different from yours. It was powerful in another way, and it was during another period. We were younger and a bit more carefree. But what she’s done with you in just a few months is just... impressive. She’s transformed you, and I feel lousy for not being able to give you the same support and help you grow like she has.”

Regret, remorse. That’s all I hear in her words, and now it’s my turn to feel bad. How did she get to the point of feeling so worthless? She doesn’t even realize how much she’s helped me. Her return after Feli sparked a lot of progress that she doesn’t seem to have noticed. I release my lip from between my teeth and reply without thinking.

“You have nothing to blame yourself for. You’re the one who gave me the most support before I joined this school. You did the hardest part by getting me out of my room.”

I smile just remembering it. She had to drag me, but she did it, and she stayed with me the whole time. It was her, and no one else, who accomplished that feat.

"I have to admit, being away from my problems was the best idea my mom ever had. You’ve never set foot in my school, but we all have our problems, often similar, sometimes completely different."

Korbin's situation comes to mind. She just never had the chance to grow up in a stable environment, which led to her circumstances. Just thinking about it makes me sick.

"I'm not saying you can't understand, but they teach us to open up, to trust each other. Like with Alexia, you know? We’ve confided in each other about our issues. Plus, we're also guided. Especially by Lucy, in my case, but not just her. It’s a collective thing, you see? It's not just Lucy who helped me evolve, as you said."

"And in all this, what happens to me?"

"What do you mean, what happens to you?" I teased. "You’re still my best friend, no matter what. Nothing will change that. Neither new friendships nor our new relationships. We’re still us."

"Good, I’m relieved," she said, clearly feeling better. "Because I’ve applied for a transfer for next year."

"Really?" I said, excited.

She had mentioned wanting to follow me, but hadn’t said what she was planning. Knowing she’ll be here next year makes me really happy. Even though the school keeps me busy, I miss her a lot.

"Of course! You’re not getting rid of me that easily," she giggled. "My teacher said there shouldn’t be any problem. The school in Manchester has a better reputation, but with my good grades, I should get accepted. He even said it would be better for me."

"That’s awesome!"

I hugged her tightly. She doesn’t have an official response yet, but I’m confident it will work out. Mapi is a very diligent student, even if it doesn’t always seem that way. After all, she’s doing what she loves.

"I’m really happy, honestly."

"Can I confess something else while we’re at it?" she asked, pulling away from my embrace. "But you won’t take it the wrong way, right?"

"What now?" I asked, holding back a small laugh.

"I used to wonder if Lucy would be enough for you," she admitted, making me frown. "That was before you were together. I thought she was too calm and too sensible. Not to mention she didn’t seem to enjoy parties. You just have to see how she reacted to last night’s party agai—"

"She wasn’t feeling well yesterday," I defended her immediately. "She had a migraine, and the party wasn’t the best for her, but she still wanted to come."

"Whatever," she said, waving her hand as if it didn’t matter. "That’s not the point, it was just an example. I thought she’d be boring for you in the long run. I talked about it with Ingrid before you were together, and she got mad, saying I didn’t know Lucy. And I have to admit, she was right."

Her last sentence brought me instant relief. I was already worried she might say she no longer saw me with Lucy, which would have been strange since she’s the one who kind of pushed us together.

"So, you’ve changed your mind?" I asked hesitantly, making her shrug.

"I have to admit she knows how to handle you," she replied with a small smile that made me laugh. "That’s all that matters, and if you’re happy with her, that’s what’s important."

"I am. She’s really sweet and adorable. I didn’t expect that either."

"Oh, really?" she said, surprised.

"Well, yeah… She’s always been caring towards me, but I found her so closed off before that I didn’t know what to expect if she ever opened up."

"I see… So how is it?"

"It’s really great. She’s confided in me little by little, but now, she’s so open that I can see her expressions, you know? That wasn’t the case before."

"Hmm, hmm," she smiled. "Are you sure it’s not you who finally opened your eyes to how she feels?"

"Of course not," I replied, gently hitting her arm, making her laugh.

"I’m telling you, Ona. She was already smitten the first time I saw her interact with you. I even told Lucy. You were just too oblivious to notice."

I blushed just thinking about it. We really were blind, according to our friends.

"Maybe you’re right… We’re together now," I said pensively. "You know, I wanted to use this vacation to get closer to her. I was really scared of my reactions when starting a new relationship," I confessed to her.

"You haven’t slept together yet, have you?"

"No," I grimaced. "Do you think Lucy will be patient with that? I’m worried."

"Yeah, don’t worry. Knowing her, she has the patience of a saint. If she needs it, I bet she’ll let you know."

"If you say so… Anyway, don’t scare me like that again. I really need your positive opinion, and you know that, right?"

"I know, yeah," she smiled. "And you have it. She even managed to make me jealous, and that’s saying something."

I chuckled, shaking my head. At least she’s not afraid to admit it. Others would have denied it. Not her, and I love that about her.

"And you, with Ingrid?" I changed the subject.

"She’s great, really," she answered instantly, clearly expecting the question. "Much better than Ana. She’s cool, we laugh a lot, and she’s laid back. Oh, and also, in bed, she’s pretty good."

"Oh, Maps, please, spare me the details."

"What? You don’t want to know?"

"No, thanks," I grimaced.

"Are you sure?"

She laughed, fully aware that this is one of the few topics we can’t discuss. I’m not prudish, but I’d rather not know what my ex does with her new girlfriends. Talking about it makes me feel like we’re back in the past, and I’d rather avoid that. After this little laugh, we both sighed softly. We really needed this conversation to clear the air.

"Looks like our wild nights are over now."

"Seems like it, yeah," I chuckled.

"I think I’m a bit scared of this new change, you know, becoming an adult, having responsibilities. Ingrid even says I often act like a child," she laughed, making me smile.

I put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, accepting my embrace.

"We’ll do it together, don’t worry. Never one without the other."

She nodded and kissed my cheek afterward, making me smile. All she needed was reassurance. I regret letting things get to the point where she felt neglected and unheard. I’ll have to figure out how to balance things better in the future. I’ve already hurt her enough in the past, I don’t need to add anything else.

"I guess I owe Lucy an apology now."

"Oh, it’s not necessary."

"It is. Knowing you, you’ll tell her everything, so I might as well do it myself," she replied.

I laughed because she’s so right. I can’t hide anything from Lucy. Especially since she’s been glancing over at us, and I imagine she’ll have questions for me.

"And I’ll have to thank her too," Mapi said, drawing my attention back to her.

"For what?"

"Thanks to you two, I met Ingrid," she answered with a small smile. "We exchanged numbers to talk about you mainly, but we hit it off so well that we got closer. So, thank you too."

"It’s my pleasure if we helped you. Your happiness is important to me, you know that. Now that everything’s clear, how about a hug?"

"Damn right, I’ve been waiting for that."

I laughed as I barely had time to catch her in my arms for a tight embrace. I missed her touch. Mapi will always be the first person who helped me out of that dark place. She’s indispensable to me, and she should know that. I closed my eyes, savoring this moment that I had missed. It’s different from being with Lucy, but just as familiar.

"Come on, we should catch up with them before they start wondering where we are."

Now that she mentioned it, I realized we couldn’t see our girlfriends anymore. Instead, a small wooden cabin stood before us. I easily guessed it was the chalet where we were supposed to pick up our gear, thanks to the sign. I nodded and let her go in first. Our girlfriends were in line, so we joined them.

- "Well, what took you so long, girls?" Ingrid asked as we approached.

- "Sorry, we were just talking," Mapi explained as she pulled away from me to enjoy a hug from her girlfriend.

I nestled into Lucy's embrace, just as Mapi did with Ingrid. Lucy's expression was full of curiosity after I stole a kiss. I snuggled into her neck and whispered:

- "I'll explain later."

My answer seemed to satisfy her because she hugged me tightly and kissed my temple. I smiled as I watched the other couple interact. It was clear who was in charge between them, and it was a bit surprising. Normally, Mapi was the one who took control, but not in Ingrid's arms, it seemed. Given Ingrid's playful nature, I hadn’t expected her to take on that role.

- "When will you tell me?"

I turned my attention back to Lucy. It was only then that I noticed her impatience, which made me smile.

- "Be patient. You'll know everything tonight, I promise."

- "Hmm... Okay," she said, pouting adorably, which made me smile.

It was funny how eager she was to know. Since I’d become better at reading her expressions, I’d discovered many traits I hadn’t known about before. Curiosity was one of them. I admired her so much for being able to hide it and not bombard me with questions. That's probably what I would have done in her place, but she knew that would have made me run. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. With these thoughts in mind, I stood on my tiptoes to kiss her again, hoping it would satisfy her for now. I could tell she was frustrated about not knowing our conversation, but I didn’t want to discuss it in front of the girls. It seemed my idea worked because she returned my kiss with a hidden smile.

- "It’s our turn," Ingrid pointed out.

We noticed she was right as we turned to the counter.

- "Can you help me pick out my equipment?" I asked Lucy. "I don’t really know what I’m doing."

- "Of course."

We walked forward with her hand resting on my waist. The receptionist handed us our gear based on Lucy’s instructions. I didn’t know anything about this, so I trusted her judgment.

- "Can’t we snowboard instead of skiing?" I asked when I saw a snowboard nearby.

- "Learn to ski first, will you?" she chuckled. "Snowboarding is much harder."

- "Really? But it’s just one board under your feet."

- "Exactly," she laughed. "It’s much harder to balance and stay on your feet. We’ll try it someday when you’ve mastered skiing."

- "So that means we’ll come back?"

- "We’ll go wherever you want, whenever you want, and as many times as you want, sweetheart."

I bit my lip at how affectionate she was becoming day by day. She had never been this sweet with me before. The tough, relentless Lucy was long gone, and I couldn’t even say which version I preferred now. I felt more and more important in her eyes, and that’s all I ever wanted.

- "Come on, let’s get going," she pulled me out of my daydream.

We thanked the man for his service, and the four of us headed outside with our equipment. We found a bench where we could sit and put on our skis. Aside from my grumbling, it was a pretty quiet moment. Lucy had a teasing smile as she watched me struggle. I had just managed to put on the boots she had chosen for me. I was surprised that she had picked the right size without even asking.

- "You could help instead of just laughing at me."

- "Of course," she said, her smile widening. "Since you asked so nicely."

- "Hey!" I protested, pouting.

- "I’m kidding."

As if she’d been doing this her whole life, she effortlessly got up and crouched down in front of me. She started by tightening the straps on my boots, which apparently weren’t tight enough for her. Then she placed the skis flat on the ground, and I finally understood the system when she positioned the tip of my foot in front of the clips. She then asked me to press down with my heel, and I heard my boot click into the ski. I did the same with the other one. At first, the sensation of having something under my feet was very strange, especially when I tried to slide them back and forth. The real fun was about to start. We exchanged a smile, as if she was thinking the same thing as I was when she stood up. She pecked my lips and held out her hands.

- "Come on, princess. It’s time to stand up."

- "Oh my God," I murmured as I wobbled the moment she pulled me to my feet.

The feeling was very weird. I probably would have slipped if Lucy hadn’t been holding me in her strong arms. She chuckled, gently pulling me closer. I regretted having such a bulky jacket on because I couldn’t feel her touch on my skin.

- "Okay... So what now?"

- "I’m going to let go and grab your poles."

- "And if I fall?"

- "You won’t fall," she laughed.

To make sure of it, she kept one arm around my waist as she moved to grab our poles. Once she had them, she let go of me and stood beside me. I glanced over at the girls who were watching us.

- "Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "And now?"

- "Now we move forward."

I blinked as I saw Mapi following Ingrid. It was like she had been doing this forever. I parted my lips and looked at Lucy, who was laughing at me.

- "H-how did she do that?"

Lucy burst into laughter, which annoyed me. I had a feeling I’d be the last one today, and I hated that.

- "It’s not hard. It’s like walking. Just take small steps. It’ll help you get used to the skis and work on your balance. Then we’ll start sliding."

- "I’m suddenly not feeling so confident..."

- "Hey, it’ll be okay, alright? There will be falls and probably a lot of bruises tonight, but you’ll be fine. I’ll help you, and I won’t let you leave until you’ve made at least one descent."

- "Oh my God..." I muttered. "And what if I’m sore tonight?"

- "I have a little solution for that... But it’ll be up to you to decide when the time comes."

- "When you say things like that, it’s usually something I won’t like..."

- "Who knows... You’ll tell me tonight."

Wednesday, February 17th, 8:30 PM - Hotel Room.

All day, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Lucy’s suggestion would be. I turned it over in my mind a thousand times, hoping that in the end, it would be the jacuzzi we’d go to. As I had predicted, all my muscles were sore from this simultaneously disastrous and rewarding day. If I learned anything today, it’s that I’m a walking disaster. Though that’s not new, I was really bad at skiing. Once again, Lucy showed incredible patience with me. Unlike me, Mapi picked it up quickly. She’s always been more athletic and daring than me, so it wasn’t surprising. Lucy didn’t mind that we stayed at the bottom of the slope all day, while the girls and the rest of our friends who joined us after lunch went up to do runs. I think Lucy was happy we could spend some time together, uninterrupted for once. When we got back, I expected her to announce her idea right away, but she wanted us to have dinner with our friends first. It made me feel confused and reluctant, knowing that the pool had a closing time and would probably be closed by the time we were done. I was slightly disappointed since I had been dreaming about it all day, but now that I’m facing her real proposal, I don’t know how to react. I agreed, of course, but that didn’t make me any less nervous.

- "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I’d understand if you didn’t, you know. We’ve only been together for two weeks, and then-"

- "Luce, I told you I wanted to do it. Are you sure you haven’t changed your mind?" I half-joked.

The panic in her eyes disappeared for a moment, replaced by tenderness.

- "I haven’t. It’s just that I don’t want you to be scared or think I’m rushing things."

"We’re in swimsuits. What am I supposed to be scared of? We’ve already been in the pool, in a jacuzzi, and even in a spa. It’s not a bubble bath we’re going to take in swimsuits that’s going to scare me. »

- It's smaller, more intimate, and... private.

- That's what makes it even more romantic, right? I want us to spend some time together, just the two of us. For once, we actually have the time.

She giggles as she turns off the water that had been running until now when he gets halfway to the bathtub. To be honest, I'm in total panic inside. I can't even explain why. Lucy is everything you could want in a girlfriend. She didn't run away when I told her that I had isolated myself from the world for half a year. On the contrary, she wanted to prove to me that I'm no longer alone. Maybe it's because I know that this situation will bring us to an even deeper stage in our relationship. I push the thought away and speak.

- You getting in first? I murmur.

She nods softly, stepping one foot at a time into the tub. My eyes don't leave her for a second as she sits at the back of the tub. I hesitate for a moment, but her reassuring smile tells me I have nothing to fear. She's the only person I've never been afraid of, at least not in the context of a relationship. Of course, I fear her when she's in a black rage, especially at me, but never otherwise. I return her smile and join her. Instead of leaning my back against hers, I decide to snuggle up against her side. My tension quickly evaporates as my sore muscles relax and Lucy runs a hand through my hair, wrapping her other arm around me. The water is boiling hot, but there's nothing better after this cold day. She kisses my forehead with a satisfied sigh.

- Here we are, in this bath.

I giggle, burying my head in her neck. She had been dreaming about this, and now I finally understand why.

- Have you been dreaming of this moment all day too?

- You could say that... Did you know I wanted to do this?

- No, not the bath, I admit. But now that we're here, it was a very good idea.

And I mean it. The steam rising from the bath creates a strange atmosphere in the room. From where I'm sitting, I can see the mirror, which fogged up in no time. When I look down at the bath, I'm glad to see that the bubbles cover my bruised body.

- Do you know why Mapi's been acting weird lately? I start the conversation with a hint of amusement in my voice.

I break the silence now that we're alone, in the calm. Lucy hums slightly at my question.

- So there was a reason?

- In a way, yes...

I lift my head to meet her eyes with furrowed brows. I smile, finding her adorable like this. She always makes that face when something bothers her or when she doesn't understand what's going on.

- Hmm... So... What was the reason?

- Lots of things... Jealousy, worry, doubts...

- In what way? she asks, skeptical. She thinks I wouldn't take good care of you?

- No, that's not it.

I smile in amusement, detecting impatience in her movements. She knows Mapi's opinion matters to me. Just to tease her a little longer, I reluctantly get up to straddle her. She removes her hands from me, placing them on the edge of the tub while watching me with confusion. I lose track of our conversation, mesmerized by the beauty in front of me. The setting really enhances Lucy. My fingers trace her exposed neck. She had pulled her hair into a messy bun right after our meal. She wanted to be comfortable. I appreciate seeing her so natural. I might not be the first to see her like this, but at least I'm the first among the students at Camp Wiegman. So, she's no longer the terrifying instructor everyone fears. She's just my girlfriend, who grants me the privilege of seeing her true self. Our evenings alone are my favorite moments so far, even though I've also enjoyed the parties. She seems almost innocent and harmless, which is far from the case at school. I almost dread the moment we have to go back. I don't know how she'll react, nor how I'll react. We'll resume our roles, and I won't be able to enjoy her company in her room as I'll have to return to mine. 

- What are you thinking about, looking at me so sadly?

My eyes, which were focused on her mouth where my fingers are now, rise to meet hers. Her excitement has faded into concern. I feel guilty for making her worry, just because my thoughts, which were positive before getting in the bath, suddenly veered to a darker side. It was stronger than me. The idea that we might not be able to live this normally anymore doesn't sit well with me. Especially not after the amazing week we've been having.

- Did I do something wrong? she asks, making me shake my head. Did Mapi say something she shouldn't have? she continues.

I shake my head again. Words fail me, preventing me from defending against things she might believe because of my silence. Unable to find the words, I lean in to kiss her. Hard. Though slightly hesitant, she kisses me back, her hands gently caressing my waist. I seek even more contact, but she stops me.

- Hey, hey, stop. I get that this environment can give ideas, but that's not the point of this evening.

Her words cool my ardor, and I blush, realizing what I've just done. How could I have gone so far with just one fleeting thought?

- S-sorry... I-I didn't mean to. I-I don't know what came over me.

- It's okay, really, she giggles. What were you thinking about to get carried away like that, hmm? You were looking at me with adoration before suddenly closing off.

- I'm afraid of not handling our return to school well.

Lucy arches an eyebrow in confusion. It's understandable. I'm jumping from one topic to another without any reason.

- Did Mapi mess with your head? she deduces, still unsure of what's going on.

- No! I quickly reply. Mapi just needed comfort. She was jealous that she couldn't comfort me the way you do.

- Oh. I didn't see that coming... I thought I was the problem.

- No. She just felt neglected. We've drifted apart because of the distance, but it'll be okay. And...

I pause for a moment, unsure if I should continue.

- And?

- Will you promise not to hold it against her? I ask, nervously biting my lip.

- Why would I hold it against her?

- Because I'm not sure you'll appreciate what she thought of you at first...

- Go on, she mumbles, her mood shifting.

I bite my lip again. I know I'm taking a risk, but I can't afford to stay silent. I promised myself to be honest with her.

- I think she still saw us as the teens we were, because she thought you were too calm and reasonable for me.

I watch her closely as I say all this. Her reaction is strange. It's as if she's suppressing her feelings again.

- If you say that's what she thinks, then I guess that's not how you feel?

Of course not. How many times do I have to tell you? You're everything I need, Lucy. Mapi understands that now. Especially after the Valentine's Day you planned for me. She's planning to apologize to you because she knows I would tell you. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I don't care about playing the reckless teenager anymore.

- OK... she murmurs. Thank you for being honest. I'll wait for Mapi's apology.

The tone of her voice isn't as cold as I expected. I understand that she doesn’t hold it against her. After all, she didn’t like her much at first either. If she says this, it's probably because she’ll use the opportunity to talk with her face-to-face.

- Thank you, I whispered at the thought. Thank you for everything.

- I love you.

My muscles relax at these simple words, which have become part of our daily routine. Lucy had promised to show me how much I mean to her, and for the past three days, that's all she’s done. I feel so loved, especially after struggling for so long to love myself.

- Say it again, please.

- I love you, my love.

This time, there’s a hint of amusement in her voice, but it doesn’t lessen the impact. She pulls me closer, returning us to our original position.

- Everything will be okay, alright? We'll figure things out. I’ll take care of us. But you, I want you to prioritize your future.

- You are my future, I murmured.

- I mean professionally, my love. I’ll take care of you like I promised, and I’ll handle our other relationships, like with Mapi if needed, but you have to focus on your studies first. Is that clear? Can you do that? It’s not that hard, right?

- No... It isn’t, as long as you’re by my side.

- I will be, no matter what. And how about we just enjoy our moment for once, hmm? You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.

- No, I don’t, but I understand why now. I wanted to thank you for being so patient with me. These past few days have been magical. I haven’t felt this at peace in someone’s arms in a long time.

- That’s all that matters then. That’s how I want you to feel with me. Not scared, or anxious, or lacking confidence, or uncomfortable... Just yourself.

- I am, I murmured. You’re the one who helped rebuild me. You’re probably the person I trust the most.

I take a deep breath at that thought. It’s frightening to depend so much on one person. But that’s my reality. I truly depend on Lucy. We both know that if she’s no longer in my life, I might spiral even worse than before. It happened once, and it wasn’t pretty. I could barely sleep at night or eat during meals, and it will happen again if she ever leaves me. I know that’s unlikely now, but even a one percent chance is terrifying.

- I don’t want to go back, I confided. You make me feel like I’m living a dream.

- I assure you, your dream is real, she teased. You’ll have to get used to living this peacefully.

- You have no idea how right you are, I murmured, snuggling even closer to her.

I close my eyes with a small, satisfied smile spreading across my lips. Yeah, I could easily get used to this new way of life.

- If Mapi kept us apart during our outings, it’s because she missed me, but also because she was seeking my attention out of fear that I’d leave her behind...

- I see, she sighed. There were other ways she could have shown it. Like, for example, talking to you about it.

- She knows she acted poorly, but my distance from her and my closeness to you affected her. She regrets it. In fact, we shouldn’t have involved everyone in this. I should’ve talked to her directly. I almost thought she had a fight with Ingrid.

- She didn’t, don’t worry. Ingrid mentioned it briefly at lunch, she reassured me.

A small sigh of relief escaped me. The last thing we need is for our little issues to affect their relationship.

- So, everything’s settled now? She’s going to leave us alone for the rest of the trip?

- I’ll make sure of it, I giggled.

- Good... So, back to you. Why do you understand how she feels?

- Because I’m afraid of our return to school...

- Babe, she sighed. We’ve already talked about this.

[halpertrps]

Hello, I'm back from a very long hiatus and looking for writing partners! I am looking for someone 21+ as I like adult themes (smut, alcohol, drugs, etc..) I am interested in only mxf ships right now. I primarily write from the male perspective but can do either! I only write on discord right now.

Here are some plots I've had on my mind:

Business Arrangement: He is the CEO of a big corporation. His image as a playboy is hurting the company and he's being forced to clean up his image or be removed from his position. She is a young professional who came in to interview for the position of his personal assistant. When she's offered the job, she's also offered the chance to make even more money by pretending to be his fiance. The deal is a year together at least to give him time to get his shit together in the public eye and then they can call it off. They have completely opposite personalities and it's clear from the beginning that this is going to be a tough arrangement.

Fake Love: They've known one another their entire lives, having grown up in a small town. It helps that she is his sister's very best friend. He is a grumpy man who spends most of his time alone, much to the disapproval of his family who just want him to find someone and be happy. Once upon a time, he had done just that but she had cheated on him and he just never tried again. When his sister is about to get married, the pressure is put on him to find a wedding date. She has just left an abusive relationship with her 4 year old child and is in no way looking for love again. After she visits his bar and they drink all night together, he offers her an opportunity. She can come live with him while she gets on her feet and he will make sure that she and her child are protected if she will pretend to be his girlfriend until after the wedding to get his family off his back. Though they were both drunk when they made the pact, they decide to go through with it.

Just Friends: Based off of the movie Just Friends. They grew up as inseparable best friends, though he had always had a secret crush on her. He had tried many times to tell her that he loved her but she was pretty and popular and he was well.. not. After a particularly embarrassing situation where he was bullied out of their graduation party, he swore he would never return to their hometown. 10 years later, he's shed all of the pounds from high school and has become a successful music producer. He hasn't looked back once except to think of her. She has never left her hometown and works at the local bar. She often thinks of her best friend and doesn't understand why he never spoke to her again. When he has to return home, his current fling at his side, things get messy. Especially when he goes out for drinks with some old friends and sees her. The connection is immediately back for him but does she still only see him as just a friend?

I am also interested in fantasy plots such a vampires if you have any ideas! Message me or reply to this post if you're interested :)

[jenna0rtega27]

I love you Vada Cavell

Masterlist

Vada Cavell x F!Reader Summary: Y/n walks through the school hallways during class while a gunman prepares to enter the school to kill students. Warnings: School shooting, blood, gunshot, murder Number of words: 1341 Send me your requests here or anonymously. I love reading you!

Masterlist

Pov Y/n: I walk through the empty corridors of the school. For what? Quite simply because I don't want to meet Vada. So I've been skipping all math classes for a month now. You see, Vada and I were the best of friends. But obviously, like the gay girl that I am, I had a huge crush on this girl. But Vada stopped talking to me overnight for no reason. So I never got to tell him that I loved him.

Now seeing Vada hurts me because 2 weeks after she stopped talking to me, she was dating stupid Logan. Do you know the popular rich boy at school? Well it's him. I don't even see what Vada sees in him. He's ugly, stupid and fucking stupid. Every girl would like to have him in their bed. Please note, I do not include myself in all his girls. Because I only want one person in my bed.

It's now been about 10 minutes since math class started and I'm wandering the halls of this stupid school. I say she's stupid because there are no supervisors in the hallways or if there are supervisors, they're not even monitoring because they're either in the moon or on their fucking phones.

20 minute skip

It's been 30 minutes now and I'm honestly starting to get bored. But suddenly, while I'm walking down the halls, I hear a loud sound and screams of fear. I immediately cover my ears and start to panic. I hear 2 more shots and more screams. I start to run but with the panic, I don't really know where I'm going.

I turn right to go to the other corridor and I see the horror. I see two students lying on the ground with lots of blood on and around them and not moving. Which tells me they were killed. I put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from screaming and tears flow down my cheeks. I'm shaking from head to toe.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps coming towards me. The fear of being killed goes to my head.

“You move and I’ll kill you.” » A man's voice said behind me. But like the bitch that I am, I turn around and find a man with a shotgun aiming at me.

“I’m telling you not to move, bitch. » The man insults me and pulls me in my stomach. I fall to the ground in pain and cry. The man leaves to I suppose kill another person.

I look at my wound and a lot of blood is coming out of my wound. I put my hand on my wound to try to stop the blood from flowing but nothing works. Too much blood is flowing.

I try to get up while keeping my hand on my wound. " Whore. » I swear, gritting my teeth in pain.

I walk to a nearby bathroom. I open the door and fall straight to the ground. I can see there's already blood on the bathroom floor leading to a stall and I see 6 feet there but I'm too focused on my wound to notice who was in the stall. I continue to moan in pain with tears streaming from my eyes.

I hear police sirens and then no more shots. So I think the shooter was either arrested or killed. After about 1 minute, the three people come out of the cabin and I hear someone almost screaming but my wound hurts too much to notice who it is.

“Y/N!? » I turn my head and see Vada, Mia Reed and Quinton Hasland. Quinton was bloody but he looked good so it wasn't his blood.

“Oh my god Vada are you hurt? I ask immediately, checking to see if Vada was hurt but she didn't seem to have any injuries. Which makes me breathe in relief but I immediately grit my teeth in pain.

“No, but you are injured. » Vada said worriedly. She sits on the floor and takes my head and places it on her knees.

“Don’t worry about me. I say with a smile as I start to feel dizzy from the lack of blood in my body.

“I will always worry about you. » Vada said to me looking into my eyes with teary eyes and running one hand through my hair and the other pressing on my wound to stop the blood. But the blood still comes out. I don't want to die, but I feel like it's my destiny. But I am grateful that I die with the image of the love of my life. Even if it's not the image I would have wanted.

After a few seconds of not speaking, Vada decides to speak.

“I’m so sorry Y/n. »

“Vada, you don’t have to apologize. »

“No Y/n you don’t understand. If I stopped talking to you it’s because I was afraid. » Vada told me with tears streaming down her cheeks.

" Afraid of what? » I ask confused wiping her tears but more is falling. “I was afraid of my feelings. » Vada whispered to me.

“I was scared because I love you Y/n. I have always loved you. But I thought you didn't love me like I love you. So I stopped talking to you and started dating Logan to try to get you out of my head. But you were always on my mind. » Vada told me while crying.

I feel like my heart wants to come out of my chest. I've been waiting for his words from him for so long.

I place my bleeding hand on his cheek and caress his cheekbone with my thumb.

“Vada, I have always loved you. I loved you the first time I saw you. » I say as my own tears roll down my cheeks. “I am in love with you Vada Cavell. » I say as I cough. I start to see blurred and black spots appear in my vision.

“I’m in love with you too Y/n L/n.” I regret so much that I didn't confess my feelings to you. » Vada tells me as her lower lip trembles.

“But at least you did it.” » I said weakly with a smile. I feel myself slowly leaving. But before I leave I want to do the thing I've wanted to do for so long. " Kiss Me. » I say to Vada. And Vada doesn't wait and immediately places her lips on mine. Our lips move slowly in sync. His lips taste of cherry. My new favorite taste that I unfortunately won't have the chance to taste again.

Vada pulls back and places her forehead on mine.

" I love you. » Vada whispers against my lips.

" I love you too. » I say as I feel my eyes weakening and wanting to close.

I look at all of Vada's features for the last time before she slowly dies in her arms. I look at her freckles for the last time, her brown eyes, her lips, her nose, her brown hair.

I never want to lose his images. I love him and I will love him endlessly. Vada has always and always will be my person, my soulmate.

" Do not forget me. » I say as I feel myself getting closer and closer to leaving.

" Never. » She responds by placing her lips on mine for one last kiss that tastes like cherries mixed with tears. The kiss represents the love that could never be demonstrated.

“You were my best moments. » I say as I close my eyes. The last thing I hear before leaving for the next world is me too with a last kiss on my lips which unfortunately I was not able to return.

I thank the Earth and the sky for bringing this girl to life. To have had my kiss with her. Although it was short, my best moments were with her.

I love you Vada Cavell.

[cyrus-badman]

I've got a little scene from my loft AU for you guys!!! Hope you like it!!

Game night

Over the last two months, Kurt, Rachel, Santana, Blaine, and Sam have fallen into an unintentional yet rigid routine of sorts.

Mondays are the quiet, stay-in nights. On these days, everyone is tired from the day, still decompressing after the hard shift from weekend to work or school.

On Tuesdays, the five of them all go out together, either to Callbacks―the karaoke bar Rachel was so eager to introduce them all to, frequented by all of her NYADA friends, Brody included (Sam likes Brody; he’s nice, he’s hot, and they both understand what it’s like to compromise yourself for money)―or just out to dinner for a nice evening. Typically, they opt for the former, though that inevitably morphs into Rachel Berry Diva Hour, wherein the diva competes with herself for Best Bar Performance of All Time™ and “allows” everyone else to participate by being her “adoring audience of loving fans”. One time, Rachel and Kurt dragged them all to yet another Broadway show, though Sam can’t remember its title. He was reluctant at first―he has this thing where he pretends to hate all musical theater, and he’s pretty sure Blaine has to resist the urge to throttle him every time he does it; Sam wouldn’t worry too much about that, though, as Blaine looks adorable when he’s pretending to be upset with him―but after the show, he was vibrating in place, and even engaged in an enthusiastic conversation with Rachel―Sam is still surprised that that ever happened anytime he thinks about it―wherein the two of them practically talked over each other in all their excitement.

Wednesdays are movie nights. It’s a little unconventional, but in their case, they have other plans for the last day of the work week. Every Wednesday, the five of them (sometimes six, if Sebastian is over) alternate between who gets to pick the film. Most often, this results in a rom-com from Kurt, a Broadway classic as Rachel’s choice (Funny Girl more times than not), a superhero movie for both Blaine and Sam and some obscure indie film about feminism and “hot bitches” as Santana’s pick.

On Thursdays, Blaine and Sam typically have the loft to themselves because Santana takes late shifts at the Spotlight Diner, Rachel’s Funny Girl rehearsals run until seven on those days, and Kurt goes out somewhere with Sebastian (now that Sam thinks about it, there’s probably a reason for that―one that starts with B and ends with lam). Sam loves Thursdays for that reason. His and Blaine’s constant presence at the Hummelpezberry loft is a nuisance to their three friends, a fact that encourages them to stop by more often than they normally would, which is already a lot.

That means that Fridays are reserved for game nights. It wasn't intentional at first, and it's not like they've always done it. In fact, Kurt once mentioned that he, Rachel, and Santana had never had game nights before Blaine and Sam’s arrival in New York.

But one Friday a couple of months ago, the five of them were in the parlor, watching yet another of Rachel’s guilty pleasure films, when the power suddenly flickered out. It was late August, the rain was raging outside, and the electricity in Bushwick really wasn't that reliable―it still isn't, one of the many reasons Blaine and Sam picked an apartment just outside of the neighborhood―so naturally, they were bathed in darkness for the unforeseeable future. Of course, that was, until Blaine pulled out flashlights and lanterns and Rachel lit candles. Sam always used to roll his eyes when people gave each other candles as gifts, but at that moment, his opinion shifted―man, those candles sure smelled good, almost as good as his boyfriend and his raspberry hair gel.

So, of course, someone―probably Blaine, because of course it was Blaine―busted out a stack of games that had no business being in an adult household (“Who even put these in here?!” Rachel had demanded, followed by the evil cackle of Santana). They started with Uno, but that soon morphed into Sorry! and then Monopoly. It had devolved quickly into Rachel accusing Santana of stacking the deck in Uno (“HOW?!” Santana had cackled, flinging cards like throwing stars). It was fun and allowed them to spend quality time together where they could talk and interact. The week after, they’d been debating their next movie choice when Sam suggested they play another game because it had been a fun, pleasant experience the week before. Santana griped and grumbled, but ultimately, she was out-voted as Rachel jumped in glee (heehee) at Sam’s request.

When Sebastian started becoming a regular face at the Hummelpezberrys (a term coined by Sam for Kurt, Rachel, and Santana’s apartment), he would join in on their group activities, and soon enough, it became a thing. And Sam loves game nights; he savors the moments when they can all just disconnect from the electronics and enjoy each other’s company.

In high school, his family couldn't afford luxuries like game consoles and cell phones, so they’d spent a lot of time making memories, telling jokes, and just generally having fun as a family. Game nights were a regular occurrence, too, and Sam thinks it’s nice to “go back to his roots,” in a way.

This week is different.

Normally, Blaine and Sam pair up for team games automatically, and Sebastian forces Kurt to be his partner, leaving Rachel and Santana as the third, reluctant duo. Game nights like these usually consist of Rachel and Santana bickering endlessly about the most mundane aspects of the game (because Rachel insists on following the rules and apparently, Santana doesn’t see the logic in that), Sebastian self-sabotaging his and Kurt’s team with the royal goal of annoying Kurt (an objective he reaches every time), and Blaine slipping into Sam’s lap, which leads them to make out indiscreetly and quite loudly. By the end of the evening, Blaine is always a giggling mess in Sam’s lap, Kurt’s glaring daggers in Sebastian’s direction, and Santana is making fun of everyone while tossing popcorn at her friends. This is all while Rachel paces in the corner because she’s an OCD subject, and not only is there popcorn scattered on the floor, but the pieces of what used to resemble a game of charades are strewn about on the couch, under the coffee table, and―somehow―in the doorway to the kitchen. The chaos is fun, Sam argues, and Rachel turns her murderous stare on him.

...

Tonight, the volume of the apartment hit a maximum before the games even began. The plan is to play charades, a setup that Blaine happily complies with, adjusting the game pieces on the coffee table with that cute, irresistible grin of his. Just like last week, and the week before that, Blaine is wearing another of Sam’s sweatshirts, the sleeves drowning him. The neckline of the sweatshirt hangs off Blaine’s smaller frame loosely, exposing his pale, olive-colored collarbone. Sam tries not to drool, pushing the fresh swarm of memories from the sight to the back of his mind. It’s game night. He’s gotta stay locked in.

Before Blaine and Sam can even exchange more than one glance―yes, they're always partners, it's an unspoken agreement―Kurt clinks his wine glass, drawing everyone’s attention. “Teams, everyone,” he announces, wine glass and hourglass in hand. He scans the group solemnly like he’s about to make a crucial battle strategy assessment. “This time, we’re being strategic.”

Already hyped up on her third glass of wine, Rachel whirls on the only couple in the room, exclaiming, “Yes! We have to be strategic. Samuel and Blaine can’t be on the same team again! We don’t need a repeat of last week.”

“Why not?” Blaine asks, bottom lip protruding in a dramatic pout. Sam leans back into the cushiony couch, urging Blaine to relax further into him. The brunette is leaning against Sam’s chest, his dark, curly hair tousled from where Sam’s fingers have been carding through it, Sam’s sweatshirt now hanging off one shoulder. Sam can’t help but soak up the warmth of his boyfriend against his body. Blaine’s head is tucked beneath the blonde’s chin, his dark curls tickling Sam’s jaw with their soft whispers. For a moment, it’s entirely too easy to forget the madness around them and slip into the bliss that wraps around him and Blaine.

Rachel narrows her eyes, glaring, a passionate fire burning in her gaze. The look is scathing on its own. “Because you never actually play, Blaine. You get distracted!” Her eyes pointedly flick to Sam at that.

“By what?” Blaine prods again, batting his lashes with faux innocence. His hand snakes up to rest a tad too high on Sam’s thigh.

“That.” She jabs a finger at the brunette, then at his blond boyfriend. “That’s what.”

Trying to suppress a laugh but failing miserably, Sam tucks Blaine further into his side. Blaine grins and tilts his head up to kiss Sam’s cheek. As he pulls back to rest his head on his boyfriend’s shoulders, his smile turns soft. “Can’t help it,” he explains, shrugging.

Properly ruining the moment, Rachel’s voice cuts through the romantic haze. “Well, you’re not on the same team tonight,” she declares, voice firm. “You’re with Kurt.”

The boy in question jerks his head around to gape at her, practically choking on his wine. “What?!” he shrieks. “Rachel, no! You know I can’t―”

“Too late,” the short girl interrupts, cutting off whatever inevitably rude and offensive comment Kurt was about to make. She herds Blaine over to Kurt’s side of the room. Blaine’s ex sighs exaggeratedly but protests no further, shooting Blaine a glare that clearly screams don’t ruin this for me. Blaine just shrugs and smiles innocently in response.

Turning back to Sam, Rachel grabs the blonde’s arm with surprising strength. “You’re with me. We’re going to win this.” And then all of a sudden, she’s pinching him―which really hurts, by the way―while Kurt whisks Blaine away. Sam’s not too sure how he feels about that; yes, he knows Blaine is completely, one hundred percent over Kurt and head-over-heels for him, but still, the insecurity lingers. Blaine and Kurt were together for a long time. Blaine used to insist that they were soulmates. The fear is justified in Sam’s mind.

Sam blinks at Rachel, who is still pinching Sam’s arm (This is abuse, Sam thinks distantly). She announces yet again that Sam is her partner, which he never agreed to, but oh, well. He can feel Blaine’s puppy-dog eyes burning a hole in his skin. But Sam can’t exactly do anything about it, so he merely shrugs helplessly. “Sorry, B. Rules are rules.”

A loud snort reminds them all that Santana is still here and banking on a win tonight. “Oh, this is gonna be good.” She turns to Sebastian, leaning against the kitchen counter and tossing back popcorn like he’s watching a soap opera: prime entertainment. “What do you say, Smythe? You and me?”

She doesn't even have to ask. The boy in question is already smirking as he replies, “Obviously. Let’s ruin their lives.”

Apparently, Kurt and Rachel didn't think this through all the way. Sam can see both of them pale instantly when they turn to the Latina and her counterpart. Santana and Sebastian are wearing matching evil grins, and Sam knows he should probably feel dread pooling in his gut right about now, but he really doesn’t. Tonight is guaranteed to be even more chaotic than last week, and that’s a plus in Sam’s book.

He can understand her concerns, though. With Tana and Seb working together, it’s surely possible that no one will win this game. Either that or one of them will end up rage-quitting and/or flipping the board game over. The mental image of Santana Lopez and Sebastian Smythe overturning a table is apparently so hilarious that it deserves an outward reaction; Sam barks out a laugh when he pictures it, and everyone turns to stare at him like he’s crazy―well, Rachel does. Santana appears unsurprised, Kurt just looks exasperated, Sebastian’s amused, and Blaine rolls his eyes fondly and curls into Sam’s chest. The blonde wraps an arm around his boyfriend’s waist and drops a kiss into his dark curls. He loves Blaine’s natural hair and spends every waking moment making sure Blaine knows it.

Sam supposes it wouldn't be the end of the world if they were on opposing teams for one game of charades. In fact, that might even make it easier to win; Blaine is terrible at this game, whereas Sam has been working on his impressions for years and finds it quite easy to translate voices into body language, hand gestures, and expressions.

Seemingly, Rachel has been trying to argue against the Sebtana duo for the last few minutes. It doesn’t seem like she’s had any success.

“I’m just saying,” Santana’s voice cuts through the comfortable atmosphere encasing Blane and Sam like a scalpel, “if I’m stuck with him―” she jerks a thumb towards the tall boy, whose smirk only widens, “―we’re guaranteed to win. Because, as much as I despise admitting this, Smythe’s clever stupidity might actually come in handy.” She pauses then, flashing a wicked grin at Rachel. “Unlike your usual partners, Berry. Dead weight is, unfortunately, not conducive to victory.”

Wide-eyed and gaping, Rachel splutters at the implications, hands flying to her hips in the universal gesture of I’m about to unleash the wrath of a thousand stage moms. In other words, Super-Saiyan, Sam thinks. “Excuse me? I am an excellent teammate.”

“Riiight,” the Latina drawls, drawing out the syllable as she tosses a kernel of popcorn down the hatch. “Just like you’re an excellent person to sit next to during a movie when your constant running commentary makes me want to toss myself off the fire escape.”

Rachel’s eyes widen further at that, mouth opening as if she’s about to fire something just as long and offensive back at her. Sam wouldn't doubt that she would if not for Kurt’s intervention.

The countertenor pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes rolling hard. “I thought this was supposed to be fun.”

Blaine, ever the optimist, takes the opening to chime in brightly, “It is!” Sam doesn't know if it’s because he's trying to diffuse the situation or because he’s just genuinely fucking oblivious. He’s willing to bet it’s the latter. His boyfriend claps his hands together as he beams at their friends. “And if we could all just channel our inner holiday spirits―”

Santana cuts him off, already shaking her head dismissively. “Unless the spirit is tequila, I don’t give a shit.”

Up until now, Sebastian has been twirling a pen in his fingers lazily, obviously having repeated the gesture enough times to be a pro at it. Now, he grins and pitches into the conversation. “What’s the matter, Lopez? Afraid I’ll upstage you in front of your little Broadway BFF?”

“Please,” the Latina scoffs. “You couldn’t upstage a rusty tambourine.” A laugh escapes Sam at the odd choice of words; sometimes Santana can be so random.

Blaine’s quiet chuckle vibrates in Sam’s chest. “Think we should referee?” he questions privately, craning his neck to look up at his boyfriend. Sam pats the brunet’s thigh and shakes his head.

“Nah, let them go at it. Adds flavor.”

Sam can tell that Santana’s preparing to interject once again, hands poised to gesticulate animatedly and eyes gleaming with fiery intent, but Kurt beats her to it, stepping between her and Sebastian. “Enough!” he demands, fixing them both with his best I’ve had it with your nonsense glare. “We’re here to have a civilized game night. Not to recreate an episode of Real Housewives of Bushwick.”

His comment may not land exactly the way it was intended, but it does ease some of the tension. Santana cackles, head thrown back as the evil gleam in her eye resurfaces. “I’m definitely Teresa,” she claims with a smirk. “Blaine can be Melissa.”

The boy in question nods as if accepting his fate, while Rachel, clearly grasping for some sense of order, inserts herself into the discussion. “Fine. If we’re all done now, can we just―”

“You never answered my question," Blaine points out. His tone is innocent, but there's an impish lilt to his voice that betrays his intentions. His hand, moments ago resting on Sam’s thigh, now inches upward marginally. “What distracts me during the game?”

Biting back a laugh, Sam watches as Rachel narrows her eyes at Blaine, her expression scandalized and accusatory in equal measure. She points at the two of them wildly, screeching, “That! That right there is exactly what I’m talking about!”

Blaine gasps dramatically in response. “Rachel Barbara Berry, I am appalled! Are you suggesting that I―”

“Stop it.” Sam thinks it was a pretty good Rachel impression and offers his boyfriend a thumbs up. Grin widening, Blaine latches onto Sam’s thumb and tugs it toward himself, hugging it to his chest in an adorable gesture. Sam knows he's smiling like a dope and he couldn't care less. Rachel goes on, unfazed by Blam’s display of affection. “You’re not charming your way out of this. We all know exactly what happens the second you and Sam end up on the same team.”

Sebastian, who has been reclining against the arm of the couch, perks up. “Oh, this is so much more entertaining than charades.”

“You,” Kurt says sharply, pointing at Sebastian, “zip it.” At that, Sebastian smirks but makes a show of miming zipping his lips, locking them, and throwing away the key.

Then Rachel stands and takes a deep breath, clearly summoning every ounce of patience in her body. She grabs Blaine by the wrist and tugs him toward the coffee table, where Kurt is already arranging the charade cards. “You’re on task tonight, Blaine Anderson,” she orders, leaving no room for discussion. “No distractions.”

As Blaine takes his place, dropping to the floor next to Kurt and crossing his legs, he turns to Sam. The brunette’s cheeky grin is already firmly in place like Sam knew it would be. The blonde wiggles his fingers in an exaggerated wave, mouthing, Behave. It’s wishful thinking, really, but the least Sam can do is try.

“Only if you promise to stop being so distracting,” the shorter boy retorts. They both laugh a little, just subtle enough to avoid prompting an icy glare from their respective teammates. Sam sighs as Blaine shifts across from him, trying to get comfy. It’s going to be a long night.

He rubs his hands together and leans forward on the couch, hanging off the edge of the cushion. “Alright, let’s get this game on then!”

...

Predictably, the game devolves almost immediately.

The room is an explosion of noise and motion. Rachel is too competitive for Sam to keep up with. She keeps barking guesses at Sam’s dramatized impressions like she’s auditioning for a role in a war film, and it’s confusing as hell. Meanwhile, Blaine and Kurt are bickering intently over whether Blaine’s charade for tap-dancing penguin is accurate (of course, Sam knows it’s not, but he values his sexytime and so he’s not going to say anything). In the background (or amidst the chaos, depending on your perspective), Santana and Sebastian are making the game into a gigantic gag, using every turn to act out increasingly suggestive gestures worthy enough to make Kurt turn red.

It all goes completely to hell when Santana grabs a stack of cards and decides to fling them about, tossing them at her partner like ninja stars. With dramatic grace and inelegant yelps, Seb manages to dodge most of the artillery, though Santana’s able to land the occasional hit square in his face. And where Blaine is terrible at guessing, Kurt is apparently shit at miming. Kurt’s pulled the Phantom of the Opera card from the deck and is nearly in tears desperately trying and failing to imitate it.

“You’re useless,” Blaine mutters under his breath, standing next to Kurt to offer his own interpretation. He proceeds then to deliver a melodramatic rendition of The Phantom Sam has ever seen (which isn’t really saying much, considering Sam hasn’t even seen it on Broadway, but still). Kurt scowls at him.

Sam turns back to his own task; he and Rachel are trying to decide whether Titanic counts as only one word or two. “I’m pretty sure it’s two,” Sam claims, scratching his head. “Like, there’s Titanic the movie, and then there’s the boat.”

Rachel narrows her eyes at him, and it sends a little chill down Sam’s spine. That girl can be really spooky when she wants to be. “Do I look like a dictionary to you, Samuel?” It’s supposed to be a rhetorical question, Sam knows, but he can’t resist.

“I dunno, you kinda look like you could fit in a dictionary,” the blonde quips with a grin. The girl’s icy glare is the last thing he sees before a book is flying at his face, whacking him in the arm when he uses his forearm as a shield. “Ow!” he whines, rubbing the injury with a wince. Rachel shoots him a prim, smug smile, clearly the victor. But only because she didn’t get thwacked in the arm with a book!

“B!” Sam calls, because throwing books at each other is fun and all, but they are playing a game, after all. His boyfriend turns to him, expectant smile on his lips, and Sam feels a grin forming when he sees the brunette. “What’s the ruling? Titanic, one word or two?”

He seems to consider the question for a moment, finger on his chin as he contemplates. After a few beats, the curly-haired boy smirks. “Whatever Rachel doesn’t want; we’ll do the opposite.” At this, Santana bursts into a fit of laughter while Rachel releases an indignant squawk.

After Rachel claims to disown the group, Sam lets himself grin, leaning back into the couch. He watches his boyfriend light up the room with his easy charm and disarming smiles that always steal Sam’s breath. Regardless of how unpredictable and utterly chaotic these game nights are, Blaine somehow always manages to make them perfect.

By the time Blaine’s next turn rolls around, he’s already a giggling mess, falling apart at the seams. Sam watches him try to mime “Superman” and it’s not even half-bad. Sam’s surprised, if not slightly impressed even. Of course, it was too good to be true because halfway through, the curly-haired boy slips on the carpet, landing sprawled out on the floor. The game cards flutter around him, one landing on his nose somehow. Blaine stares at it, going cross-eyed, and Sam wonders once again how the boy doesn’t get headaches from that. Crossing his eyes has always made Sam’s head hurt! It isn’t very fair, is all. His boyfriend blows at the piece of paper, trying to get it off him, but he only manages to launch it straight up in the air and back down on his face. The brunette huffs in mock-annoyance for a beat before bursting into laughter. His attempts to rise back to his feet are futile, as his shoulders are shaking so hard that he can’t keep his balance.

“You’re useless!” Kurt hisses, hands thrown up in indignance. His glare slides over to Rachel for a second before snapping back to Blaine. “I don’t know why I even―”

Yeah, like that is going to end well. Sam steps in, cutting Kurt off before he can go on a whole-ass tangent like he inevitably would if no one stopped him. “Alright,” the blonde says, stepping over to help Blaine to his feet. “Time out. Someone’s had too much wine.” Despite his words and the playful tinge of annoyance in his tone, Sam chuckles fondly as he scoops Blaine into his arms with minimal effort. The shorter boy reflexively wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, still laughing as he buries his face in Sam’s shoulder.

Hands on her hips, Rachel stares at them expectantly. “Samuel. Put him down,” she says cooly. “We’re playing to win.”

From somewhere to his right, Sam hears a snort followed by, “Yeah, like that's gonna happen, Berry.” He tries to hide his smile by nuzzling into Blaine’s hair, pretending that he’s kissing Blaine’s head rather than secretly sniggering at Santana’s comment.

“I think Blaine needs a break,” Sam says once he’s regained his bearings. He does not put Blaine down. Take that, Rachel! He grins down at his boyfriend, who’s already gazing up at him, his wide, glossy amber eyes filled with affection and awe. It makes Sam’s heart skip a beat, being looked at like that. So tenderly, so lovingly. The blond clears his throat. “He’s, uh, clearly too drunk to keep up the game.”

Santana smirks, jabbing a finger at the pair. Her fiery eyes are dancing with knowing amusement. “Oh, that’s your excuse? What are you two sneaking off to do, huh?”

Kurt wrinkles his nose while Rachel scoffs indignantly. Sam can almost hear her squeaky upset voice, The audacity! Blaine just giggles, nuzzling Sam’s neck. “I don’t think you want me to answer that,” he responds, the mischief in his voice clear as day.

“Gross!” Kurt exclaims, throwing a pillow at them as Sam carries Blaine toward the hallway. He misses by a landslide as predicted, and when Sam passes by the weapon of choice, he kicks it back toward the living room, flashing Kurt a wink, his tongue poking out.

With a mock-salute, Sebastian shakes his head and says, heavy with amusement, “Godspeed, Evans. Don’t break anything.”

Sam grins at that. This is one of the main reasons he and Blaine love crashing here so much; the commentary is hilarious! Sebastian’s approval is always welcome and feeds Sam’s pride a bit, Santana’s sexual remarks are funny and somewhat accurate, and Kurt and Rachel’s indignant exasperation has the ability to bring Sam up from any bad moodswings he may have. Not that Blaine’s company alone wouldn’t fix that immediately.

As they disappear around the corner, Sam can hear the glare in her voice as Rachel addresses the remaining players. “That’s it. We’re locking them out next time.” Although her voice is resolute, Sam knows it’s not going to happen. Rachel and Kurt have been bullshitting about revoking his and Blaine’s loft privileges since the first time they'd been caught in action, but they’ve never actually followed through with the threats.

Santana’s cackle echoes through the corners of the apartment. “Oh sure, Berry. Like that’ll stop them.”

[peony-pearl]

Thanks to @projecthypocrisy for tagging me!! I'm so excited to be learning about some wonderful ocs!!!

Rules: Answer the following questions in your character's voice

Are you named after anyone?

"I've heard I was named for my father's late sister. I was born around the time she passed. The way Dad spoke about her, I get the feeling he would have rather she lived than I be born," she shrugs. "Can't win them all."

When was the last time you cried?

Her mouth goes taut. She's cried many times. She does her best to not do it in front of others. Her time ensnared in Corneo's ring taught her to calcify her emotions, lest they be used against her or she be punished for them. But she has cried lately.

"I was in Gongaga... the first time since Meteorfall. It's been a few years. Reeve told me the land he died in was now covered with grass and flowers; and he was right. It was just dead land before, and now," her voice breaks ever so slightly. "It's beautiful. It looks the way I felt when I was with him."

Do you have kids?

"Oh no; no no. I can't have them," horrible memories of 'clinic trips' while in Corneo's possession flash through her memory. "And I don't want them. I don't have the fortitude, the patience, the stability. I wasn't a wanted child; I wouldn't put that on another."

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

"I don't do sarcasm. I'm not good at it. I've never been good at knowing if it's being used. I appreciate straightforwardness and the truth. Or just lie to me and mean it."

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

"Body language. Or I scout them out if they're wearing symbols or tattoos. I learned that while in Corneo's group. Different ones had different motives and intentions and specialties. Thankfully Shinra likes to display theirs loud and clear so I knew who was working for them very quickly and I could make quick work of them."

What’s your eye colour?

"An olive green. Corneo always told me how ugly a shade it was."

Scary movies or happy endings?

"How about a scary movie with a happy ending? That would be nice. But I don't watch a lot of movies. I get too restless."

Any special talents?

"I'm very handy with materia. I enjoy studying them and casting spells. When I escaped Wall Market, I was given my first materia by someone I was once friends with, and I started working so hard to master it. It was a thunder materia and I'd never once cast a spell in my life. When I finally tapped into that feeling it was so liberating after being imprisoned for so long. I felt strong for the first time in my life.

"I also know some good card games and a few sleight of hand tricks from some of Honeybees when I was stationed at the Inn."

Where were you born?

"In a town called Imerta. It doesn't exist anymore. Any trace of it is smothered under the rubble of Sector 6. It was a trading town, a halfway point for merchants. It was already dying by the time Shinra claimed it for Midgar and promised us part of the money that would come from the Mako harvesting.

"He was never good on promises."

Do you have any pets?

"I have my chocobo, Paprika. My first pet. She's a practical one, since she can be used as transportation. She's a good bird, and I try to spoil her. She's no gold chocobo but she can cross rougher terrain and quicksand, as well as some smaller bodies of water."

What sort of sports do you play?

She laughs. "Sports? No thanks."

How tall are you?

She hums. "Five... four? Five six? I don't know."

What was your favourite subject in school?

"School was suffering by the time I was enrolled; we learned basic history and math and science. I daydreamed all day. The only good part about school was lunch and leaving and getting to chat with my girlfriends. They all left Imerta by the time I was a teenager."

What is your dream job?

"I suppose I'm living it. I'm a materia supplier. I go around, disposing of fiends, mastering materia. When materia is mastered, new materia is 'born'. I sell these new orbs to vendors in different towns. It's good profit. I don't have any ties, I don't have any dependents, save for Paprika. No one to answer to."

She sighs, putting her hand in her pocket to feel his Shinra id badge, now worn and bent over time.

"Just me," she says with a sad smile. "But... it's safer that way, at least."

*****

Thank you so much again for tagging me!!

Consider this an open tag for anyone who wants to do this! I want to find more FF7 ocs!

[blackcatsandlockets]

I ranked the Miraculous Ladybug characters

Félix Fathom

Félix has the best everything in the show: best looks, best brains, best mother, best backstory, best arc, best miraculous, best hero name, best birthday, you name it. He is me. He is my son. He is the love of my life.

2. Adrien Agreste

I know that the fandom generally loves Chat Noir, not Adrien, but I'm one of the few who actually prefer Adrien. I've also seen a lot of people call him a bad boyfriend (especially compared to Luka, especially since Adrien wasn't exactly the best boyfriend to Kagami when they were together), but I think that he's one of the few people that Marinette can actually trust.

3. Zoé Lee

She's another commonly disliked character that I will defend with my entire life. I love how Zoé was so supportive of Marinette and Adrien's relationship despite having feelings for Marinette herself (in this household we stan a sapphic icon) and how as the show progresses, she becomes more willing to grow out of her mom and half-sister's toxic influence.

4. Luka Couffaine

It sucks that Marinette had to break up with Luka and how he was forced to move to Brazil for his safety. He deserves so much better. If Marinette doesn't want Luka, I'll take him. Who doesn't love themselves some Luka? We all need someone like him in our lives.

5. Kagami Tsurugi

I always thought that Kagami deserved better when she and Adrien were together, and now I'm happy that she's with Félix who treats her like the queen she is and defends her against her mother. But also, I have this toxic trait of liking whoever Félix likes and hating whoever he hates

6. Alix Kubdel

Aromantic icon. I also think Bunnyx is cool since she knows everything, including everyone's identities, Lila's bullshit and the fact that she would succeed Gabriel as the holder of the butterfly miraculous holder and the Alice in Wonderland reference.

7. Juleka Couffaine

Goth lesbian. Period. I need her entire look. I also relate to her fear of being photographed.

8. Marinette Dupain-Cheng

I feel like Marinette is so underrated despite being the main character (it's Miraculous Ladybug, not Miraculous Chat Noir). Girlfriend has too much on her plate and deserves a break. Also, I want her life.

9. Marc Anciel

I love Marc's style and he's queer. It's as simple as that.

10. Nathaniel Kurtzberg

Jewish king. Enough said.

11. Mylène Haprèle

I've seen a lot of fatphobic hate about Mylène on TikTok, but I love that she's an activist and seems the most socially aware. I'm going to rank Mylène higher than Rose just because of that one line in "Derision" where she mentions how her mom left when she was little but does not take pleasure in bullying others.

12. Rose Lavillant

I don't pay as much attention to Rose as I do with the other queer characters, but she seems fun since she's also in the art club.

13. Ivan Bruel

He seems nice. I loved it when Ivan was the first to hug Zoé after she apologized and explained what happened at her old school in "Sole Crusher."

14. Max Kanté

I still can't get over "you saved my eyes Lila" in "Chameleon" (dude you wear glasses!). But other than that, he's smart (dude invented a ROBOT!), asexual and seems cool.

15. Nino Lahiffe

I used to like Nino until he started siding with Lila and basically accused Adrien of siding with Marinette because he's a simp. I will rank Nino higher than Alya, however, because he has tried to stand up to Gabriel for Adrien and even feels guilty (even though he shouldn't) about not being able to help him.

16. Alya Césaire

Alya has a lot of good traits but her siding with Lila over Marinette (despite emphasizing how a good reporter "always checks for facts" and Lila's lies can easily be fact-checked) overshadows all of them. Especially when she sided with Marinette over Kagami before. With friends like that, who needs enemies? I wouldn't be surprised if Alya is the first to betray Marinette over Lila (I know she goes by a different name now but I'm not keeping up with all of them).

17. Lê Chiến Kim

I hate Kim, and the fact that he had Marinette and Ondine (let alone any girls at all) fall for him at some point is insane. I will put Kim higher than the last three though because he is friends with Alix and Max and has some good moments.

18. Sabrina Raincomprix

I hate people like Sabrina who always suck up to whoever they think is stronger, and as we've seen in the first season and flashbacks, she was worse in those. But later on, she has some good moments, I guess. I'm also not too mad about Sabrina being redeemed in the fifth season.

19. Chloé Bourgeois

I hate this bitch and the way the rest of the fandom thinks that she was this poor girl who deserved to be redeemed makes me want to scream. Chloé bullied a classmate for four years, treats everyone else like they're her red carpet, has made racist remarks, and y'all think she deserved to be redeemed? I was against it when they started teasing us with the possibility of her redemption in the second season and I was so happy when they decided to scratch it later. The only reason why Chloé is higher than Lila is because at least the characters in the show know she's bad.

20. Lila Rossi

I would pull off her wig and her pathetic innocent face makes me want to vomit.

[nova-alien-rants]

sometimes it can be really fucking scary to achieve the things you've always wanted.

i think i need to put this out there not just for myself, but for anyone else who may be having a hard time coping with change in their lives, even if it's for the greater good.

this past wednesday was genuinely a really hard day for me. like, really really fucking hard. one of my best and oldest friend bailed on me along with her entire family which i considered to be my own, my parents acted disgusting toward my brother and tried pulling the same shit on me, i came back to my dorm after 40 minutes of driving to discover someone came into my room and touched my shit, and then had some stupid freshman act like a brat when i brought it up to the RAs. i haven't felt as low in a LONG time as i did by the end of that day.

but while i was driving back to campus, feeling completely alone and like i had no one to talk to, my grandparents ended up calling just to chat. i was crying so hard that i couldn't stop myself and spilled everything that had happened to me that day, and to my surprise, they were... really nice. they comforted me and even offered for me to move in with them once they get settled in their new house. i told them i felt really worried about how my parents would take the news of me moving, but my grandma said not to worry about that and she'll take care of it. for once i'm actually glad the people in this family are crazy.

all i've ever dreamed about for as long as i can remember is getting away from my parents. no longer living with them, no longer being controlled by them, no longer being physically and mentally broken down by them. my life goal has been to break free from my parents permanently. not a career, not material possessions, none of those things can ever come close to that goal. but now that it's happening, i'm filled with a kind of fear i've never experienced. there's so much uncertainty about literally everything in my life now.

will this thing with my grandparents' house even work out? how will my parents react to it? how am i going to manage to move all my shit into my grandparents' house even if i am able to stay there? what will happen when next semester starts? if i move in with my grandparents, my parents will cut me off financially and i won't have any help paying for my university tuition and/or housing. how will i finish my degree? how will i be able to afford going to graduate school? how will i pay for my medical bills?

i know in time all of these questions will become trivial, and i'll be able to look back eventually and be able to laugh about the fact that i was ever worried. the universe always works in my favor, even if i can't see it at the time. things always seem to have a funny way of working out but it's scary in the moment to not know what's going to happen. i'm a person who desperately craves stability and concrete plans in order to function, so all this uncertainty is... a lot to deal with.

but i think all this is happening so i can shed my old life and start another chapter in which i can finally heal for good and stay that way. even if our old lives suck, we can get used to them anyway and changing them can be absolutely terrifying. i think that's why leaving one's comfort zone can feel so hard. we don't know what to expect, so how are we supposed to protect ourselves in the event that something goes wrong? but i've come to believe that things don't go wrong, they simply don't go the way we expected them to. and that's scary, but it's also okay to sit with that fear. everything happens for a reason.

i'm not one of those people who will say to just "be happy" under circumstances such as these, even when your feelings may seem irrational and/or confusing to you. we're human, we're not fucking robots. we can't go through life stone-faced. change is hard. it's scary. it's overwhelming and full of so many questions no one may ever have the answers for. it's okay to take some time to cry, to scream, to get those feelings out. our brains are trying to keep us safe, and it's our job to let our brains express themselves. not every feeling has to be rationalized. it doesn't all have to make sense. sometimes it's okay to Just Be.

i personally believe that the world would be a much better place if we all took more time for ourselves to really feel our shit, because that's the only way it's going to get processed and let go. if you're someone like me whose BPD makes every feeling seem like a nightmare straight from hell, or whose alexithymia confuses you about what you're even feeling, that's okay too. again, you don't have to have all the answers. let yourself cry. let yourself lie on the floor. let yourself engage in your comfort activities. let yourself rest.

change isn't supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows. it's hard work, but it will all be worth it in the end. after every single one of my darkest times, i found myself shining brighter than i ever did previously. i don't know why we have to go through certain experiences, but it will all make sense one day. every single person on this earth has trauma, even if they may not have been abused or deal with a form of a post traumatic disorder. we're all just oversized children who are scared and need a hand to hold as they navigate life. we're human, and we're allowed to feel. we're going to get through this.

there's a reason why people say bravery is being scared while doing it anyway. change really is fucking scary, regardless of how good it may be for us. i'm going to keep saying it. hold your breath and do the thing anyway. let yourself be scared. feel that fear. make room for it and live with it. your brain loves you and is trying to protect you, even if it seems misguided. it's doing its best to be there for you, so you may as well at least humor it, right? how beautiful is it that your brain loves you enough to constantly try and protect you, regardless of the circumstance? i think it deserves love back. love those parts of you which have always loved you.

you're going to make it. you love you.

[bil-daddy]

hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

[oliolioxenfreewrites]

Writer Questionnaire ❦

Taking a break from writing to catch up on my tags writing 2 books at once is not for the weak 😭 so thank you @drchenquill for the tag as always!

- how long have you had your writing tumblr/writerblr? a fast and loose estimate is fine!

At least since April or early May!

- what lead you to create it?

I wanted to connect with other writers and creatives to make new friends!

- what's your favorite thing about the writer community?

My favorite part is the absolute powerhouse of creativity and innovation. You all have this incredible knack for coming up with unique ideas that never fail to inspire me. Plus, they're hilarious! Their sense of humor adds a delightful twist to everything we do, making even the wildest ideas feel approachable and fun. Honestly, being around such talent and laughter is a constant source of my motivation and joy!

- what’s one thing you'd like in mutual to know about you?

No notification I receive on this app goes unnoticed. I'll be at work, smiling because someone found my writing and enjoyed it! It means so much to me and only makes me want to write even more!

- is there anything you'd like to see more of on your dash?

I would love more collaboration and interaction in my messages. I am open to discussing and exchanging ideas with another writer. I’m particularly interested in co-creating a planetary system and bouncing creative ideas back and forth.

- which wips or writing projects are you noodling about lately

I'm currently working on fleshing out a novel titled Journals from The Whitmore Estate, which is a modern/historical fiction story. The novel explores the slave and civil war era, and also delves into our near future. It centers around the actions of a power-hungry ancestor who sought to shift power dynamics, and the resulting centuries of generational backlash.

- how long have you been working on them?

Its been about a few months, I had to take a break to give myself new perspectives and coming to a decision on who the main character was!

- do you remember what inspired them/what got you started

I was looking at writing prompts and came across one that said something along the lines of “Your character inherits a manor from a distant relative. Upon moving in, they discover what lies within its walls, answering why your family has been plagued by bad luck for as long as anyone can remember.”

- how much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Wayyy too much! Now rhat I've found the main character, I can't put it down!

- when someone ask the dreaded "what do you write about?" question what do you usually say?

“I write whatever comes to mind!” Or “You can read my writings to find out.” 😗

- name any characters you created. Side characters, protagonist, antagonist, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

Kirjani is my favorite oc to date! Her chosen family: Rick, Raelin, and Lena. The three sisters from the Isles of Aurorith! Imani, Jade and Jasmine, the first ocs I ever created, they deserve their story to be told. (I’m working on it!!) My scrapped character folder is at about 60 something, but the one I just couldn't figure out completely was their grandmother Queen Amara, those who've followed me for a while probably remember her! She was just a bit too sinister and I tried to work around certain motivations and rationality kept getting in the way 🤣 I might use her for another story of mine I've been thinking about

- who’s the most unhinged?

I think it would be between Amara or Kirjani for sure. One of them is justifiably so, the other… not so much LOL

- who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Jules a gay sophmore in high school who is grieving the sudden loss of his mother (I haven't introduced him yet!) He's the first character I've ever based on myself or someone like me rather.

- do you ever cringe at them?

Oh yeah, that’s when I'm writing his best romantic scenes. Love, especially teen romance is supposed to be cringy and awkward at times. That's what makes it so!

- how much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? to what degree? are some less cooperative than others?

They literally form their own lives that I just go with, its their world I’m just living in and writing it! I'm considerably outnumbered lmao

- do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? and do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? for example, as asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on ao3, etc.

More than words can express, that's why I love sharing my characters and their personalities. I want to open discussions on humanity and how the human condition can create dynamically and perplexing people!

- what makes you want to follow another writeblr account? do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

I don't really have enough mutuals or followers, so I follow people based on their creativity and if they're on Writeblr. I don't have much discernment at the moment :)

- what makes you decide against following?

Just depends. I guess I haven't found a page I've ever said, “Oh no, can't follow that,” too.

- do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Not really, and if I follow you and you don't follow me back, I will give you 24 hours before I unfollow. We're all creatives here; no one is more creative than the next person, in my opinion.

This was so much fun to answer, I have so many more tags to do, but I’m not gonna stress ah finishing them all today 🥲 I have some short stories I wanna post as well from the weekend.

I tag @leahpardo-pa-potato, @slenders1ckn3ss, and @coffeewritesfiction. + open tag to any writer interested!

[away-ward]

Are there any last hot takes/unpopular opinions that you have to drop about Devils Night before closing this blog?

Probably not. My takes are pretty tame. And I've already expressed a lot of the more unusual ones. Even my hottest takes I tried to frame in a way that wouldn't offend anyone.

Here is a mix of some thoughts I didn't post just because I thought they were too pointless and some opinions that I tend to disagree with the fandom on:

A while ago I was struck with the idea that Kai's Jeep in high school should have been red. We all agree Kai represents War and War rides a firey horse. Plus red was Michael's favorite color and when Kai first got his Jeep, he'd still be idealizing Michael.

The others can keep their boring black cars and trucks.

Also thought that Kai should have become a lawyer, even if he never practiced. Or Banks. It would have helped her political career. The amount these people trust others outside their group confuses me. So many people are involved! I don't get it. They will continue to commit crimes, their circle needs to be small, and having a lawyer on the inside works. But instead they outs source to Alice's dad. Ughhh.

Still think, and will always think, that Athos was a cheap tool that should have been left in the drafts. Octavia too. They both come off like such over-powered, overrated characters that on the surface might be fun to read, but I think I would actually get bored if their book was ever written. There's way they could live up to the hype PD has given them in just the epilogue and Fire Night.

I never bought into the idea that Alex was in love with Will and thought he'd come to her eventually. To me, their story was always about mirroring each other. Will had a love he couldn't have, who had his heart. Alex had someone she couldn't have, who had her heart. They both knew this about each other, and so because the other was emotionally unavailable, they were safe place to lean into. Also, I don't think Alex would have gone for Will if Aydin wasn't also in Blackchurch. She can say she was worried about the potential danger he was, but it was more about seeing Aydin than anything else.

I've yet to see any convincing evidence that Emory had any kind of relationships or sexual partners during her nine years away. I think it goes completely against her character. Beyond that, I don't think PD ever wanted to give the girls multiple partners.

In my head, Rika smells like vanilla and coconut, or something like birthday cake. Winter is sweet floral. Banks has a spicy scent (I always think cloves and rosemary, even though cloves are associated with Damon). Emory has sort of an ambery-woody scent. Maybe some deeper florals. I don't care what the books say.

Conclave was a sloppy way to...introduce any of that. Rika's infertility, Michael still being suspicious, Rika wanting to kill his father, Damon willingly offering, Aydin... A novella was a great way to bridge Kill Switch and Nightfall (which had to be bridged because Kill Switch felt like a conclusion to a series. ACTUALLY -

Another reason why is just now coming to me. Imagine the relationship status we would have gotten if Nightfall had happened as the 3rd book: Kai and Banks, several years married with children; Michael and Rika in their first year of marriage (big wedding didn't happen; just the two of them like planned) dealing with her infertility and their plans for the future; ENGAGED Willemmy. Will being torn between getting married and wanting Damon back. Emory supporting him in waiting for his best friend because they have forever now - she's not going anywhere. Married-to-the-wrong-sister/Dating Winter????? (whatever you want to call it) Damon. It could have been so good!).

PD had no idea how they wanted to end the series when they started Kill Switch, but they had to know what Will was doing in the flashbacks. That is why the flashbacks in Nightfall are so well-developed, while the present feels like a mess. I'd be willing to go as far to say that they probably only really had Damon's backstory planned with they started Hideaway. That's why Kill Switch's storytelling and emotional impact are the best in the series, while, in my opinion, Banks and Emory are equally interesting characters with similar backgrounds, yet no one cares. They just want Damon. I wish I could think of more...I've probably had a thousand little thoughts that came to me and I just thought "...no, that will start drama, and I don't want drama." I should have recorded them anyway. Let this me a lesson to you: record your thoughts and opinions, especially if they're funny, for yourself. To laugh at when things are too quiet.

If you're feeling bold enough, comment your unpopular opinions here. That way you don't have to make your own posts, but can still put it out there!! I think it will be fun for the fandom if there was just a random post to rant in the comments. But keep it friendly with each other.

KO

[tsudelune]

Congrats on 200 followers! Can I get #8 with akito please? (and if its fine, can the "what..." be reader?) Ty and have a great day!

'' it's a pleasure to meet you , my beloved 'music' "

"you've been kind of obvious." - akito shinonome

a/n : wow, are there a lot of requests for the event (which makes me very happy that this is going successfully). expect a bunch of fics! (also, that akito colorfes lim...is the only thing i see when i write him smiling. that card is embedded into my brain).

it was an ordinary school day-- at least, not for you.

today was another day to (hopefully) get your crush to notice the signs. at this point, you were close to giving up. however, you weren't one to give up. at least, not to love.

as much as your friends in kamiyama like to call him a ginger or "lil'bro" (courtesy of your best friend), you like to just call him akito.

the two of you hang out often. as friends, the history books like to call it. to you, as something more.

"akito! i'll be waiting by the courtyard!" you shout, as you make your way to where you usually ate. it was now spring-- however, you liked him for a long time.

unrequited love, hopeless, impossible-- to you, there was always a chance for something to happen.

taking a seat by the shade, you start to eat your lunch, admiring the clear blue sky of today. if anything, the sky is there to watch it all.

"you said you were going to wait-- are you that hungry?" teased a familiar voice. it was recognizable from a mile away for you.

"oh- sorry! i didn't think that far." you moved over for akito to sit next to you, laughing.

"no, i was only joking." akito gives a smile, "oh right, i have something to ask of you."

you nod, insisting he goes on. you wondered what he had to say, because most of the time you initiated the conversations.

"i've heard from...a certain someone," akito grumbled, as if the someone was a forbidden person, "that you like me. is this true?"

speechless. you had no words. now, you were determined to find this certain someone. you had an idea. but, back to the matter at hand-- this was not how you planned this to go!

"uh...what...?" you tried to act clueless as possible, waving your free hand dismissively. "oh uh, of course not...! who would be saying that type of thing....ahhaha...."

akito deadpanned, sighing. "you know, you've been kind of obvious."

"...what?"

you wanted him to know that you like him, yes, but not in this way!

"...uh, i don't like you! but wait, no, i technically do..." you mumbled out incoherent strings of words, rambling on and on. however, akito shut you up immediately with a kiss, roughly crashing his lips onto yours.

"...can you shut up?" akito sighs, holding your blushing face in his hands. "you're too loud..."

"uh- oh, right..." you looked away from akito, returning to eating your food after that spectacle.

well, surely that kiss gave you all the details you needed, right?

[chaoscradle]

assigning GUTS songs to stranger things characters (i know this has been done a ton of times already but i'm doing it anyway):

all-american bitch: nancy

"I know my age and I act like it"

"I'm a perfect all-american bitch"

"I know my place, I know my place, and this is it"

"I'm the eternal optimist, I scream inside to deal with it"

"I pay attention to things most people ignore"

(el could also work with this one, but i felt like with the whole nuclear family thing the wheelers have going on that nancy fits better)

bad idea right?: max

"'I only see him as a friend' the biggest lie I ever said"

"can't two people reconnect?"

"but god, when I look at you, my brain goes 'ah', can't hear my thoughts"

vampire: joyce

"every girl I talked to told me you were bad, bad news"

"you're so convincing, how do you lie without flinching?"

"I've made some real big mistakes, but you make the worst one look fine"

"the way you sold me for parts"

"you said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard? you can't love anyone, 'cause that would mean you had a heart"

"I loved you truly. gotta laugh at the stupidity"

lacy: el

"I linger all the time, watchin', hidden in plain sight"

"aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?"

"I feel your compliments like bullets on skin"

"and I despise my jealous eyes and how hard they fell for you"

ballad of a homeschooled girl: mike

"and I hate all my clothes, feels like my skin doesn't fit right over my bones"

"the party's done, and I'm no fun, I know I know, I know, I know"

"I made it weird, I made it worse"

"everything I do is tragic"

"I'm shocked I'm still alive"

(this could also work for robin tbh)

making the bed: mike

"another perfect moment that doesn't feel like mine, another thing I forced to be a sign"

"push away all the people who know me the best"

"every good thing has turned into something I dread"

"and I tell someone I love them, just as a distraction"

logical: will (psa this is from will's pov i don't think any of this of mike)

"come for me like a savior, and I'd put myself through hell for you"

"and I fell for you like rain falls from a February sky, but now the current's stronger and I couldn't get out if I tried"

"oh, why do I do this? I look so stupid thinking two plus two equals five, and I'm the love of your life"

"'cause if rain don't pour and sun don't shine, then changing you is possible"

"you lied, you lied, you lied"

"I guess love is never logical"

"the sky is green, the grass is red, and you mean all those words you said"

"I know I'm half responsible, and that makes me feel horrible"

"I know I could've stopped it all, god why didn't I stop it all?"

"'cause loving you is loving every argument you held over my head"

get him back!: max (NOT about lumax, just how she'd handle a different breakup)

"I want sweet revenge, I want him again"

"do I love him? do I hate him? I guess it's up and down"

"I wanna make him really jealous, I wanna make him feel bad"

"I wanna break his heart, then be the one to stitch it up"

"I wanna meet his mom, just to tell her her son sucks"

love is embarrassing: will

"and then, you kissed some girl from high school"

"waited by my phone like a goddamn fool"

"god, love's embarrassing as hell"

"and I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy" (minus the new guy part)

"you found a new version of me"

"I give up, I give up, but I keep comin' back for more"

the grudge: lucas

"how could anyone do the things you did so easily?"

"I try to be tough, I try to be mean, but even after all this, you're still everything to me, and I know you don't care, I guess that's fine"

"one phone call from you and my entire world was changed"

"and I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did, but I hold onto every detail like my life depends on it"

"and I know in my heart, hurt people hurt people"

(this song doesn't 100% represent lucas and max's relationship in s4 imo but it comes the closest)

pretty isn't pretty: el

"there's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong"

"when pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?"

"I could change up my body and change up my face, I could try every lipstick in every shade, but I'd always feel the same"

"fix the thing you hated, and you'd still feel insecure"

"I chased some dumb ideal my whole fucking life, and none of it matters and none of it ends"

teenage dream: will

"they all say that it gets better, it gets better, but what if I don't?"

"when am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?"

"I'll blow out the candles, happy birthday to me" (birthdaygate)

"but I fear that they already got all the best parts of me"

"will I spend all the rest of my years wishin' I could go back?"

[1d1195]

I (🥭) am back with another story with my coworkers!

So the guy I originally was talking to and ended with after he didn’t want to be friends, yesterday he’s been telling my manager that he misses me and still likes me and wants to get to know me. he said he thinks I want nothing to do with him, but he’s the one that didn’t want to be MY friend. my manager told him not to text me before she talked to me about this first (he didn’t wait, he texted me anyway).

However, I’m talking to someone new, someone who is putting in effort in wanting to see me and flirt with me and just talk to me in person and not just over text. I am not going to just drop him because the original guy is finally developing and wants to be friends. I don’t want to lead either of them on, you know?

Yesterday, the original guy had a shitty day because he and another coworker he’s been having issues with for months almost fought (other guy started it, wasn’t his fault this time!) and my manager was like “he had such a bad day and you’re still the person on his mind, he still really likes you.”

all that just puts me in a tough spot because the new guy I’m “talking to” (we haven’t been on a date or texted so much, just planning to hang out but might be as friends, I’m not too sure) is so sweet and mature. but the original guy has also always been sweet to me , just seemed too nervous around me and I can’t fault him for that.

More updates when he texts back after I tell him I won’t lead either of them on and that he has to deal with me wanting to be friends first !!

btw sorry I haven’t been here in awhile, I still read your posts every time you upload and I love everything! Love hockeyrry!!

Hmmm! Look at you with all the boys fawning over you 🤭 you deserve it!

Here is my unsolicited advice:

My gut reaction is the first guy is too little too late. I understand the nervousness but he should have said it ages ago (like the night of your date). It doesn't sit right with me that he was weird on your date and then told you he didn't want to be friends? Sus. ESPECIALLY where you have this new guy doing all the right things and suddenly he's like "I DO like her." (Also it's lowkey messy that he's got issues with other coworkers. (Although I won't lie, I'm a little toxic and the fighting can be kind of fun 🤭). My worry is that he'll get all weird about you liking the new guy and cause more issues and then you'll be out two guys? Idk, that's a little extra and maybe a little dramatic, but hopefully you'll catch my drift).

If I were you, I would see where the stuff with the new guy goes. He seems more put together like you said. It would be worth saying to the original guy that he's too late and you found someone who was willing to put in effort right away so you want to explore that. You could even say "I think you're very sweet and I would have liked to explore where things could have gone but I'm not going to lead another person on because you took too long. Maybe our paths will cross later on but I want to focus on what's best for me."

Obviously you don't have to listen to me. I've only been in a couple relationships myself. I swear I have I "coached" a lot of friends through relationships (lol) and not that I put TONS of stock into my students' relationships at the high school level but I'm REALLY big on making sure they are treated properly. I don't stand for teenage boys leaving someone they like on delivered for DAYS and I am a huge believer that you shouldn't have to beg for attention--especially now that you're getting attention from elsewhere.

I wouldn't blame you if you decided to see where things go with the original guy, I just wanted to give you my perspective from the outside! As long as you're happy, I'll trust your judgment! 💕 I hope you don't think I'm too harsh either💕 It's nice of you to say you won't lead either of them on. That is extremely mature and it's good of you to be up front. If one or both can't handle it then they can shove it.

You never have to apologize for not writing! I love to hear from you but it's not expected! Glad you're enjoying hockerry 🥰

xoxo