#one of desmond’s ancestors should get to kick his ass

[teecupangel]

Your opinion on John Standish/Noob ? I just finished AC4 and I feel like there was definitely something there in that John wanted his wife to possess Noob’s body and all… I think the idea of that ship is cute ngl!

I personally don’t ship it because John used and blackmailed Noob in the end and that’s not my type of tea but I can get why you’d ship them. There is something in their interaction that can be seen as something and I believe that stems from the fact that John/Aita wanted Juno to possess Noob’s body.

Either Noob has high enough Isu genes or maybe Noob looked a lot like Juno or maybe Noob was actually the type of person John Standish (not Aita) liked and that bled thru even as John has pretty much assimilated with Aita’s memories and personality.

Also, John was pretty helpful at the start, even friendly (although with a hint of condescending that Noob probably thought was because technology is John’s jam and they sorta needed a lot of help so they didn’t mind the snark aimed at them). Plus, we were made to believe that John is an ally of the Brotherhood (perhaps even an Assassin himself) to keep the plot twist that he’s Aita’s Sage a secret.

Honestly, with how loyal Aita is to Juno (and vice-versa), I think this ship would work if the idea is that John Standish and Aita are two separate entities occupying the same body and not the fully assimilated Sage we got in Black Flag. The friendly one that’s still a bit of an asshole is John himself but Aita’s personality is slowly corrupting him. In this case, the plot would most probably be Noob and John developing some kind of attraction with one another that turns its head once Aita starts appearing more and more.

I won’t say that the power of love will save John from becoming Aita though. Instead, chuck him into the Animus, load the Animus Island, and have John and Aita duke it out.

Then once John is about to be defeated, get Noob in there and let them kick Aita’s ass using Edward’s Bleed.

Then it’ll be more on the side of John having to heal from Aita’s influence, dealing with the aftermath of Aita’s actions and keeping Aita at bay with Noob staying with him.

Pretty sure, at this point, they would be on the run from Abstergo and maybe John would be reluctant to ask help from the Assassins since he is carrying Juno’s husband inside of him.

Oh, and of course… Juno and her Will of the First Bitch will also be on their tail.

[jasontoddiefor]

Trans Desmond Miles Agenda

The problem with the Bleeding Effect wasn’t that Desmond saw Altair or Ezio standing next to him while he was trying to fall asleep, all while thinking, ‘Well, this is a day where this just might as well happen’.

The problem was that their emotions and uncoped issues transferred themselves neatly onto subjects Desmond had thought he’d been done with. Unfortunately, his ancestors had the nasty habit of settling beneath Desmond’s skin perfectly. Altair’s anger became his own, Ezio’s frustration laced Desmond’s words together. It didn’t matter that the situation they were unhappy with wasn’t even close to being anything Desmond could relate to. Their emotions were just there and took hold of whatever upset Desmond at the moment, leaving him to lash out.

“You know what the most hilarious thing about this whole Abstergo kidnapping deal was?” Desmond asked Shaun.

They weren’t quite friends yet, Shaun’s comments were too biting and Desmond too closed off to appreciate them. However, they were getting there, and instead of spending their break sitting as far away from each other as they could, they shared the table and the food Shaun had brought with him.

“I can’t read minds yet, Desmond. Come, share with the class.”

Desmond grinned like Ezio when he caught a Borgia courier, pouches full of money and information.

“When Vidic greeted me as Desmond Miles only to start ranting about the Assassins I hadn’t been in contact with for years, it was such a paradox. He had said it was meant to be, you know? First Assassin to run away in years with such an important bloodline turning out to be male, just made for perfect synchronization. He told me they’d tried before. Subject seven or something? She wouldn’t synchronize with her male ancestor. And then there’s me, who should be sharing the same fate. Except, you know—”

Although the two pretended to be working, Rebecca and Lucy were listening in by now as Altair’s sight told him. Desmond ignored them in favor of using his thumbs to point at himself.

“I had to go and be trans. If it wasn’t for the headaches and hallucinations, I think I could enjoy being Ezio or Altair all day long.”

The thing is, Desmond hadn’t been one of those trans kids who experienced much hatred or gender dysphoria. He’d always been quite tall, and his chest had been easy enough to cover in oversized hoodies. He didn’t have any sad stories of being kicked out of his house because he had run away long before he had even been able to pinpoint his feelings. It had been the books from the library he had spent his days in during his first weeks of homelessness that told him that there was a word for how he was feeling, that he wasn’t alone.

Once he had known that, he had worked his ass off to afford transitioning. He had had his hiccups, including a nine-month-long one he should probably inform someone of his team of, but he had gotten there.

It had been hard and he had faced many troubles and nobody had ever been glad that he was trans either, except, of course, fucking Vidic.

“It’s all a bit ironic, isn’t it?”

Silence followed his statement, and Desmond couldn’t blame them. He wouldn’t know how to react to his words either.

“It’s a bit like fate.”

Predestined, like most things in his life had been.

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 42 Review: Here Goes Peter Cottontail

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

At last, we’ve hit another milestone on Strange Paradise. A little less than a year ago, I discussed the third and final costumed flashback. Just under six months ago, we reached Episode 30, the first episode for which conclusive proof of executive meddling exists. And today we shall explore the introductory episode of a character particularly notorious among Strange Paradise fans. That’s right: this episode features the first appearance of the infamous Rabbit of Evil. The true face of evil has arrived on Maljardin, and it's soft with long ears and a fuzzy tail.

Because the plot has now split off completely from the Lost Episode summaries and I’ve already discussed the one for this episode, I’m going to ignore it for this post. I’m not even going to do much analysis this time. Instead, let us just lay out our beach towels on Maljardin, relax, and bask in the glow of the coming insanity.

Early morning on Maljardin. The unseen clock chimes three, and already Jean Paul Desmond is up sitting on the couch in the Great Hall next to the decanter of his favorite drink. Although it is the demon hour and almost everyone else in the château is asleep as far as he knows, he is already dressed in his brown velvet jacket, as one does when one is the richest man in the world on the coldest tropical island in existence. One would assume that he would at least loosen his tie to make himself a little more comfortable, but then, I’m not a fancy rich guy living in the 1960s, so what would I know?

Feeling the presence of his demonic ancestor Jacques Eloi des Mondes, he stands up and approaches his portrait as though in a trance. During their brief staring contest, Jacques begins to taunt him: “Come now, Jean Paul Desmond. Three o'clock in the morning and still you wander the house. Why?”

“Because your evil wanders here, Jacques Eloi des Mondes!” Jean Paul answers overly dramatically. “I sum-”

“Jean Paul, no oaths on your honor that you would be compelled to uphold. It might be the end of us both. And Erica might never rise to a new beginning.”

Jacques tells Jean Paul to go to bed because *he’s* tired. Could this be evidence that Jacques and Jean Paul are one and the same?

I like the way that Raxl's face appears on the screen just as the title card is fading.

Raxl paying her respects to Erica Desmond.

We cut to Raxl visiting Erica’s cryocapsule, when suddenly a little cockatiel starts tweeting. And who could it be but our mascot, the adorable Chalcko?

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<3

Quito checking on his beloved bird.

Meanwhile, Jean Paul visits the lab to find Dr. Alison Carr sleeping at her desk, Dr. Menkin’s notes next to her:

For the love of yourself, Jean Paul, do not disturb!

He wakes her up despite it being very early in the morning (because God forbid she not sleep in her own bed, I guess?). Really, there are only a handful of good excuses to wake someone up at 3 AM, including to ensure they catch an early flight and to kick them out of your bar after they passed out drunk with their glass shattered into a million pieces in front of the talking portrait across the room. Having fallen asleep at one’s desk while pulling an all-nighter that your employer deems unnecessary isn’t one of them, IMO. But, just like my cat who wakes me up around 3 almost every night crying for a midnight snack, he gets away with it because he’s cute.

Jacques has made cat-like faces before on this show, so now it’s Jean Paul’s turn to act like a cat.

That’s not to say that Jean Paul’s cuteness makes Alison any less annoyed with him. He asks her why she stayed up so late to study the notes, and she responds, “I can't sleep very well, anyway, and what else is there to do, since you keep us here as prisoners on this Island? Good night and please don't disturb anything.“ She leaves and he starts flipping through the notes.

Meanwhile, outside among the suspiciously Canadian coniferous trees of Maljardin...

Wait for it...

Quito finds a big, fluffy black rabbit hopping around the garden and brings the adorable, plump creature inside. His crush Holly happens to be in the Great Hall when he returns, and she falls in love with the rabbit at first sight.

“I didn't know anything as wholesome and innocent like that existed on Maljardin,” she coos. "Oh, he's so sweet! I haven't seen anything like him for--well, it seems like a whole lifetime.”

Then she remembers what Raxl said about there being no wild animal life on the island. “But Quito,” she says, “Raxl said like, nothing like this could exist on this island for three hundred years! I guess this little fellow disproves that, doesn't it?”

“What are you going to do with it?” she continues. “I mean, are you going to keep it?” Quito shakes his head. “You should. You should keep it for a pet. He’d make a lovely pet, something nice in this house of accident and death.” Because Quito is reluctant to keep the rabbit and has no way of expressing why to Holly, she offers to keep it as a pet.

“I wonder how he managed out there with all that poisonous undergrowth around?” she thinks out loud, as the rabbit starts to try to jump out of Kurt Schiegl’s arms, which I doubt was in the script. The rabbit they got to play the new embodiment of evil on Maljardin doesn’t always want to behave the way the plot demands. I suspect that, instead of getting a trained animal actor, someone just brought in their pet or bought a bunny on short notice at an Ottawa pet store or nearby farm. I like the rabbit. The rabbit does what it wants and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about following the script or doing what Jerry Layton wants it to.

Holly asks Quito to make her a cage so that she can keep the rabbit in her room, and he nods in agreement (I’m guessing just because he knows it’ll please her). He leaves. She sits down at the dining room table and rings for Raxl, who is not pleased when she tells her about the new guest:

Holly: "Hey, Raxl." Raxl: "Good morning, Miss Holly." Holly: "You know, everything I've heard about this island isn't the truth." Raxl: "Truth is a matter of seeing." Holly: "Well, I've seen. You told me that because of the curse, nothing could exist outside in that poisonous jungle." Raxl: "The Devil's evil is everywhere on Maljardin!"

Holly: "Well, just this once, Raxl, you may be wrong." Raxl: "It may be that demon wants you to think I am!"

Raxl instantly suspects that the rabbit is a tool of THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES.

The bit about all the plants being poisonous on Maljardin, by the way, may be a retcon. In Episode 13, Jacques mentions that papayas are native to the island. I suppose that, because he didn’t say that they were picked on Maljardin, that they could have been grown on another island. Still, I’m not ruling out the possibility of Ian Martin and/or a ghostwriter retconning this detail.

This scene is followed by a cool shot where the camera pans along the side of the staircase and over to Jacques’ portrait (see the beginning of Part 2), then a short scene of Quito pulling out a huge wicker picnic basket for a makeshift cage while Chalcko tweets as though trying to warn him of the evil presence.

In the morning, Alison returns to the lab to find Jean Paul in a scandalous state of undress:

Ye gods! He took off his suit jacket again! I am SHOCKED and SCANDALIZED by this wanton display of nudity! ;)

Jean Paul must be even more stressed now than last night if he not only has his suit jacket off, but has also loosened his tie. Turns out he ended up pulling an all-nighter himself in the lab reading the notes, even though Alison doubts that he possesses the necessary knowledge to understand notes about cellular reconstruction. Jean Paul asks Alison if Dr. Menkin did any experiments on animals, but it’s not clear if he’s asking just out of curiosity, because of something mentioned in the notes, or if somehow he feels the presence of the rabbit despite not having seen it yet. Whatever his motivation, the screenwriter almost certainly added the line to imply that the rabbit may have belonged to Dr. Menkin.

Using such a line as a hint (or, more likely, as a red herring) is a very Ian Martin thing to do, so I’m thinking that he must have written this scene. For a while, I suspected that perhaps some ghostwriter hired by either Jerry Layton or Steve Krantz inserted the scenes with the rabbit into a later draft, but now I’m having second thoughts. While it is possible that one of the showrunners hired a ghostwriter to speed up the script edits, this line has Martin’s influence written all over it. The insertion of the evil rabbit isn’t his style, but this kind of dialogue certainly is.

Also note that the very next shot is of the rabbit again.

Hearing the bird tweet is making Quito anxious. It’s obvious that the bird detects some sort of presence.

Jean Paul and Alison go to the dining room and sit down for breakfast with Holly. Jean Paul reminds her that another séance is coming and she tells him that she wants no part of it. “The spirits will decide that, and the Conjure Woman,” says Raxl.

“Vangie said that the conjure cards--the Tarot cards--spoke to one person,” Jean Paul adds, flubbing his line adorably. “They may well speak to another, for or against.” I’m not sure what he’s implying, especially because he faces Alison (or maybe the Teleprompter) as he delivers the line.

More proof that Maljardin is no tropical paradise, but a dystopia. (”Rattled” = “Raxl’s”)

Alison tells Holly that Jean Paul will probably blame them if the séance doesn’t bring him into contact with Erica and Jean Paul glares at her before flouncing passive-aggressively. I’m so conflicted about Jean Paul at this point because he’s becoming more and more of a control freak (and therefore more and more unlikeable), and yet he’s so adorable. Take a look at the face he makes just before flouncing:

Foxy!

And this shot of him from earlier in the scene:

Never have I seen any guy look this cute after pulling an all-nighter.

Holly tells Alison about the rabbit Quito bought brought her (yes, there’s another creative line interpretation). “That’s impossible!” she replies, stunned. “I mean, nothing alive exists out there now.” There are so many flubs in this episode that it makes me wonder if the actors had less time to rehearse than usual.

An unspecified amount of time later, Alison catches Jean Paul arguing with Jacques’ portrait, then Quito feeds the rabbit a carrot to the sound of more tweets. (Anyone else miss the days when “tweets” referred only to the noise that birds make? God, I'm barely 28 and already I feel so old.) Alison warns Jean Paul that dabbling in the occult is bad for his mental health, but he doesn’t care because he needs to hear Erica’s voice so badly. He tells her he’ll buy her some animals for her experiments the next time he visits the main island just to shut her up. (Spoiler: He won’t.)

And then Quito arrives, carrying the rabbit in its makeshift cage. Like Raxl, Jean Paul is not pleased to see the animal. “Holly, where on Earth did you get that!” he asks.

“Right on this Earth, on this island, from Quito,” she responds innocently.

Jean Paul giving his best “WTF” face. He’s lived on the island long enough to know that the rabbit came out of nowhere.

He asks Raxl about it and she cries out to the Great Serpent to tell her what the Devil’s plans are for Maljardin, making the Sign of the Great Serpent with her hands. Alison insists that the rabbit is only an animal, but Raxl reminds her that no animals can survive outside on the island--meaning, by her logic, that it must be a demon or similar evil being!

Jean Paul asks Quito where he found the rabbit. Raxl interprets the signs he makes as meaning “on the path to the boathouse,” which leads Holly and Alison to think that the rabbit must have snuck aboard Quito’s boat and sailed there with him. Raxl’s response?

Raxl: “It is a creature of the Devil!”

Holly objects and insists that the rabbit is only an animal, but Raxl sticks to her belief that it’s actually a demon assuming the guise of innocence, most likely sent by THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES himself! No one believes her, not even Jean Paul:

Jean Paul: "I must admit, Raxl, this is very unlikely." Raxl: "Not here. An animal here is an impossibility. Is that not true?" Jean Paul: "Until now, yes!" Raxl: "Then what force altered the impossible? There are forces at work on Maljardin as the hour draws near when the master will attend a séance and seek through purified mind and cleansed spirit to reach his Erica beyond the veiled curtain. What does the master say?"

Jean Paul does not respond. He looks like he is about to cry.

Raxl: "Quito! You will remove the rabbit. It is evil!"

Raxl: "It brings danger and wickedness and more evil than we will ever know! It must be destroyed and buried in the sea!"

Raxl: "If the master wishes to contact his Erica and hear her voice, he will be advised: that animal is evil!" Holly: "Mr. Desmond, please, no!"

Jacques’ commentary.

Coming up next: Raxl makes a horrifying--and mystifying--discovery when she examines the Rabbit of Evil.

{ <- Previous: Episode 41   ||   Next: Episode 43 -> }

[assassins-brotherhood]

Nightmares

Prompt: some fic for my boy Desmond

For: @winters-uprise

Notes: I know last Desmond one was angst, so how about angst AND fluff? Also this got longer then I thought it would so it’s under a read more!

You tried and failed to hold back a wince as Desmond screamed once more. His fingers grabbed at his cot with one hand, while the other twitch and shot up in a slashing motion as if to cut someone’s throat. You remember seeing the memory of Connor’s and Haytham’s fight and can’t help, but think that’s what it looks like. You were thankful for a moment that both Shuan and Rebecca were doing a food run, while also checking around town for Templars. Your job was to stay with Desmond and guard the hideout, and in a not creepy way, watch Desmond while he sleeps.

After another scream, you stand, deciding that you can’t just leave him to these nightmares, and move towards his cot. You trust your reflexes to save you if something happens, but you also trust Desmond to not hurt you too badly. Reaching out you gently grab his shoulder and shake it a little while saying “Desmond, wake up.” You tighten your grip on his shoulder just slightly as you feel him move, a hand on you then suddenly your back slams into the floor and you let out a grunt while the air leaves you.

The full weight of one Desmond Miles drops onto you, while your trying to get air back into your lungs and catch up on what just happened. For a moment neither of you move as he starts to wake up fully, and you remember that his been in the heads of three master assassins, a templar grand master, and was going through the fourth head of a master assassin/pirate. Of course he could kick your reflexes ass. 

“Y/N?” Desmond asked slightly confused while you reached up and pushed at him to get off. You never know how truly heavy someone is until there full weight is on you. You think and managed a “Can you please get off?”

“What?” Desmond mumbled before realizing he was sitting on you and quickly getting off, before holding out a hand to help you to your feet. Accepting and letting him pull you up, you heard him let out a soft “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I should have been ore careful.” 

“Why’d you wake me anyways?”

“You looked like you were having a nightmare.” You answer with a shrug.

“No… Just bad memories.”

“Whose memories? Yours or your ancestors?” You ask and watched as Desmond stays silent not looking at you for a long moment, allowing you to see how truly tired he looked. “A bit of both.” He finally answered and you nod accepting his answer, if he wanted to say more, he would. You both didn’t move or speak before finally you decided that he probably wasn’t going back to bed and going back into the animus sounded like a bad idea at the moment. “Want to watch a movie? Calm your nervous a bit.”

“I-…. Sure, but only if I get to pick.”

“As long as it’s not a cheesy romance.” You counter back. A few minutes later after finally getting Shaun’s netflix up and after arguing about what movie was better, you both settle down to watch a comedy. Desmond’s soft laughter joins your own as watch, and you can’t help, but decided that his laugh is one of your favorite noises. The feeling of Desmond pressing more and more against your side, makes you turn and see him fast asleep against you. A smile graces your lips before you lean back against him and whisper “Good night, Desmond.”

[falsereligion]

Feel Something

CHARACTERS ❦ Desmond Browne  TRIGGERS ❦ Cutting, blood, torture WORDCOUNT ❦ 1,846 SUMMARY ❦ Desmond’s memories. This song is responsible for inspiring this and I recommend you listen to it while reading. I’m gonna be honest, I attempted to do some THOHH type shit with how this was structured. Not sure how successful I was at that, but it was a #NiceTry. 

The room was filled with applause at the end of his speech and when people came up to him, they would smile and offer their hands, proud to shake his. It made him feel like a farce to stand there.

“I’m so proud of you, son,” his father said, planting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing. His eyes were full of emotion, as if he couldn’t believe he’d raised him. “You are a man now, a good one.”

His mother pulled him into her tight embrace. “That’s my beautiful boy,” she said with the widest smile he’d ever seen on her face. “Always taking care of everyone… We are very proud of you, Desmond.”

His heart was so full, Desmond half expected it to burst. “Thank you.”

All eyes were on him, but he still found her across the room, leaning back into the wall and looking at him too. There was no smile on the girl’s face. Her eyes were accusing, arms crossed over her chest.

Gemma knew him better than anyone else, and she looked disappointed.  

“You can’t be here.” The boy stood tall in front of him, blocking his way into the playground.

A six year old Desmond looked confused. “Why not?”

“Because you’re cursed.”

“I’m not cursed!” He balled up his small fists, but he knew he was too weak to fight them.

“Mom says all witches in your family are.”

“Yeah, you should go before we get cursed too,” a second boy jumped off the swing set to approach them.

His face was burning, red hot with anger. “I can be here as much as anyone else!”

“I said go!” He said and shoved Desmond, sending him stumbling and falling on his ass.

Gemma showed up from behind him and pulled out a knife on them. “Touch him again and I’ll hurt you.”

Desmond broke the lock with a spell, pulling the dusted old trunk open and looking through its contents. Hidden away in the attic, he found himself in the possession of a never seen before Grimoire.

Aidrian Browne. The name was familiar, one of his disgraced ancestors. His heart started racing.

He never knew his father had kept their old books, in his mind they’d been long lost to some type of cleansing fire ritual. He tightened his grip on the grimoire, protective of their history in that moment more than he’d been his entire life.

Those spells, potions and rituals were the reason his life has been tormented, stained by the ghosts of his ancestors. He needed to know what earned him such a haunting, what could’ve caused so much harm and heartache that they’d blame his family for something that was done long before any of them were alive.

He needed to know.

“But everyone will be there, Des!”

“I have to study, Gemma,” he insisted, flipping through the pages of a spellbook and frowning in confusion.

She took a seat at the edge of the desk and let out a heavy, defeated sigh.“When did you become such a stick in the mud?”

Desmond snapped up his head to glare at her. “Why are you trying to keep me from getting better at this?” It was so easy for her, she barely had to try. It wasn’t his case, he tried really, really hard. “Are you worried I might steal your thunder?”

Her shock was followed by hurt. “Fuck you, Desmond.”

“No, fuck you.”

He immediately regretted it every time they fought and when she left out the door, he kicked at the desk. He loved her, but he was envious and it was a sickening feeling to be left behind by his other half.

Desmond managed to shove the grimoire under the desk and pull up his sleeves to cover the scars just in time to greet her with a flat look on his face. “Des, why aren’t you at the party?”

“I’m working.”

Gemma put on a warm smile, she always had some of those to spare where he was concerned. “There’s no one here, Des. Who are you going to teach?”

He knew she meant well, but her insistence was annoying and particularly inconvenient at the moment. “I’m preparing a class, Gemma. Some people don’t just wing their lives.” His retort was delivered with a bored, flat tone despite his irritation.

“Maeve is looking for you.”

The mention of his little sister made Desmond pause. “I’ll see her later,” he decided.

Gemma fell into silence and he expected her to leave, but she approached him instead. Hands on the table, she leaned in to catch his gaze and keep it. “Des, I miss you.” Her voice was soft, warm and pleading.

He had never seen her sound lonelier, begging for his company. Scraps of his affection. They had grown apart and he was to blame for that. Desmond was profoundly sorry for the first time in a long while, but he could feel the blood seeping through the fabric of his shirt and he had to send her away before she caught him. “My life doesn’t revolve around pleasing you anymore, Gemma.”

Gemma pulled away. He would never forget the hurt look on her face. “I can barely recognize you anymore.” Desmond lowered his sight to the book open in front of his eyes. He didn’t need to look at her to know her eyes were welled-up, he could hear it in her voice. “You’re just… some asshole with a superiority complex now.”

“You are behind again, Desmond,” his mentor pointed out. “This is last week’s assignment, you missed the deadline. I can’t keep making an exception for you.”

“I wasn’t finished.”

“If you need help with the work, ask your sister. She is always the first to hand hers,” the witch reminded him. It was unnecessary. “Do what you’re told or you’re always going to be behind everyone in class.”

“Yes, sir,” Desmond agreed, though he knitted his brows in protest.

“You need to keep up, Desmond. For your own good.”

He simply said what the man wanted to hear then,“Yes, sir.” And that made his life so much easier. To pretend.

“Please.” Desmond pulled at the cuffs around his wrists, but they were made of iron and imbibed in sage. The chains pulled him down to his knees in the cold, dark room of Ceremonies. “Please, don’t do this.”

The witches took their places to form a circle around him. Their eyes were full of disdain and betrayal, both cold and aggressive. They wanted to hurt him. He knew they wanted to hurt him. “You don’t have to do this!”

“I’m sorry, Desmond,” the leader of the Ceremonialists said and reached for the blade. His voice was flat. “It’s the rules.”

“Please!” He begged with tears in his eyes. He begged with his whole heart, but it didn’t stop the blade from cutting him off.

It felt like bleeding, but this time the power didn’t come in, it spilled out. Leaving him an empty husk to dry.

“I want to go home.”

“We’ll make a new home, beautiful boy,” his mother offered him an understanding smile and brushed the curls off his eyes. He was seven years old. “A better one.”

He looked at her and she seemed so sure, but he was still scared of the world. “People won’t hate us anymore?”

Gemma’s small hand found his and she held it tight. “I won’t let anybody hate you.” He believed her.

“Gemma!”

His father stepped in front of Desmond to keep him from walking any farther into the house. “Get out, Desmond.”

“I’m talking to my sister!” He could see her standing by the kitchen table. “Gemma!”

His father grabbed him by the shoulders. “I said get out, Desmond,” he said and shoved him towards the door and out. “I can’t even look at you right now. You are not welcome here anymore!”

The door was shut with a loud bang.

“Gemma!” He tried again, bringing his hands to his hair and tugging. What did he do? What did he do? “Mother! Please!”

The door stayed close.

“Do we have to be witches?” His question stunned his mother at the breakfast table. “Can we be something else?”

“You don’t like being a witch?” He shook his head softly. His mother turned off the stove and took a seat next to him, touching his hand. “Desmond, you can’t change who you are.”

“I can change.” He insisted. “I just turned six and I’m two inches taller. I can change, mommy. I can be good.”

She got down on her knees and cradled his face between her gentle palms. “You are, baby,” she said and kissed his forehead, “You are so good.”

“No, I’m not.” There was a sadness in his voice that did not belong in a six year old’s mouth. “Everyone says that.”

“You are good.” She pulled him into a hug and held him there, where he was safe from harm. “You are my good boy.”

The screams that echoed through that building’s basement were haunting. Sometimes they were his, sometimes they weren’t.

Desmond was vaguely aware there were others trapped in there. Dying. Like him. It was dark and cold in there, darker than usual, then it was quiet. Silence. Maybe death was coming, and he recognized it when it stood in front of his cell.

An angel covered in blood and looking at him with cold eyes.

“Please…” His voice was hoarse, and his throat dry. It hurt to speak, to breathe, to live. “Just… kill me.”

His mouth felt like sandpaper. They came in to ask him questions about his kind. Tortured him when he wouldn’t talk. He was so hungry and the stink of that filthy basement burned his nose. Something was dead in there, or maybe that was just him. He felt so weak, and he could see his bones sticking out under his skin.

And maybe that was what he deserved, to die alone a long way from home.

He stepped out of the shower to catch her fidgeting with pendant again. “Is that a dark object?” Ashley threw him a wide-eyed look, like she’d forgotten he was in there and it shocked her to hear his voice. “I can feel there’s something alive in there,” he explained himself on his way to the closet to gather what little belonged to him.

“I know.” The vampiress fell in silence for a moment, though it didn’t surprise him. It seemed she was prone to long moments of silence. “Do you want to help me with it?” Her offer was tentative, but the look in her eyes when he met them was determined.

“We help people, that’s what we are meant to do as witches. We help people who are sick, and haunted, and hopeless. That’s what this healing clinic will do for the people of Johannesburg. We’ll help everyone who needs us because we have been given this power for a reason and it should be used for good.”

[teecupangel]

Normally, Desmond is sent back in time to mess with things.

But what if it wasn't him?

Like, maybe Desmond couldn't go back in time himself but he could, in the split second he touched the apple, send someone else.

What if one of his ancestors went back in time? (Upon their deaths or something.)

I imagine a young Altair (who might be using a fake name) running around Italy with a tired Ezio following like a worried mother hen. (No, Claudia, he is not hovering he is just concerned) He ends up taking Altair under his wing (No, Claudia, it is not adoption.)

Or maybe Altair ends up in Bayek's time, Oh! Or Connor in Ezio's time. (Edward and Ezio would either get along badly or be too powerful if they were together in the same time period.)

These boys ruin the timeline and somehow save the world/future by simply stumbling through everything with no clue what's going on. and of course the power of friendship and really sharp blades.

Desmond and Clay are laughing their asses off in the afterlife as their ancestors destroy centuries worth of carefully calculated plans. (They might also manipulate things a little to help.)

And the time traveling ancestors for the most part, are doing the best they can in their current situation.

They are freaking the fuck out the whole time but are excellent at hiding it.

Poor Ezio.

(No, Altair, you can't kill that person because that have information we need, yes, I'm sure, Claudia don't encourage him.)

Well… How about we add some… ‘order’ to the chaos?

Desmond only had a fraction of a second to send his ancestor back in time.

And he hesitated.

He didn’t know which one to send.

Should it be Altaïr? Altaïr always felt like he would find out what to do even if he was given only minimal clues.

But Ezio was his prophet, the one he had been with the longest…

Ratonhnhaké:ton though… he deserves answers. He deserves the truth.

And when he woke up…

In that endless sea of gray…

The first word he heard were…

“’Morning. Which fucked up timeline do you want to hear first?”

Desmond sat and blinked as Clay stood before him, arms crossed with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Uuuhh…”

“Do you want to hear about how Edward Kenway managed to save his grandson and his grandson’s mother from the fires that should have killed her?” Clay asked before adding, “Oh… and he’s learned that his son’s a Templar by the way. At least, one of his old friends believe he’s actually Edward Kenway. If you think the Kenway Family Drama is bad when you were reliving Connor’s memories, then you gotta see the top tier drama that’s happening with Edward and Haytham right now.”

“Or maybe you want to hear about how Connor got kicked into Ezio’s time? He has no idea what’s happening but he got appointed as Federico’s combat instructor. He knows jackshit, by the way, about the tragedy that’s about to happen but, hey, at least Giovanni believes he’s an Assassin from another country or something. Oh.” Clay rubbed his chin as he added, “Connor doesn’t like how close Giovanni is with the Medici by the way. Lorenzo reminds him a bit of Washington or maybe he’s projecting, who knows?”

“Maybe you’ll like to know how your dear prophet is doing? Well, he’s doing badly in preserving the damn timeline that’s for sure. Let’s see… he got in touch with Alamut and managed to bluff his way into making them believe he’s the mentor of a destroyed Assassin branch from the crusader lands, he got the mentor’s permission to make his own branch in Levant, made a deal with said mentor to become a thorn in Al Mualim’s side and find out what he’s hiding, adopted Altaïr and even went as far as adopt Abbas because he believed he could ‘change’ things.” Clay was quiet for a moment before he added, “Oh and his branch is in the underground temple in Jerusalem so he has the Apple with him already.”

“Then there’s Altaïr.” Clay said with such… annoyance Desmond was actually afraid of what Altaïr had done. Clay rubbed the side of his forehead as he started, “See, they can only be transported into what counts as their past so we can’t have something like Altaïr being pushed into his future in Ezio’s time or something. And, since your only instruction to the Moraes was to ‘change the past’, they had to improvise with Altaïr considering he’s more or less the starting point. They had to pick another one of your ancestors who was important to your past and this world’s future so…”

“Altaïr’s been sent to the time of the Isu-Human war and his knowledge of the POEs and getting unconstrained access to the POEs at their full power… well… let’s just say…” Clay’s tone was drier than the desert as he said, “The Isus didn’t know what hit them.”

Desmond could only stare at Clay as he said.

“Soooo… which one do you want to contact first as their ‘patron’?”

[teecupangel]

Xenomorph Desmond who assassinates Templars and scares the heck out of every living being to ever exist... But who protects his ancestors and their loved ones like a rabid dog, loves pranking his ancestors and eats the local bird population.

His ancestors think he wants to eat them. However, Desmond is not vibing with his unwanted 'glow up' and just wants something familiar to hold onto. Cue Maria/Kadar feeding Desmond motherly/brotherly affection as their husband/sons/daughter/brother/friend, scream silently in the background.

Until Desmond proves himself to be just a 'little creature'.

Desmond purrs his way into being the assassins mascot and stray cat.

Desmond now gets head pats and cuddles. He is told he is the best murder puppy everyday and he deserves love even if he is an Eldritch horror creature.

(Absolutely going for Masyaf on this one because it’s me XD)

They call him Desmond. When they introduce him, they call him a ‘hound’.

Not because they think of him as a dog but… dog adjacent.

He acts like a sweet fluffy companion who would laze around all day given a chance.

He likes to sleep on top of the tallest tower and the best way to find him is to get Kadar to call his name and tell him it’s meal time.

It was rarely meal time and Desmond seemed to understand that.

He would appear in front of Kadar if it was time to eat.

If it wasn’t, he would stay by the rooftops, observing Kadar and waiting for him to explain why he lied.

It was eerie how he was able to understand them.

Well, Eerie for normal people.

For Altaïr and Kadar though?

It was a good thing.

The real reason why they call him a hound was how he hunts.

He hunts quietly and can easily blend in the darkness even with his large appearance.

He was already making a name for himself. The Templars call him the devil summoned by the heathens.

The Brotherhood was offended.

As if they would need to resort to devil worshiping to kick ass.

If anything, the fact that Desmond was sleeping in the ark in the temple that the Templars dug meant that the Templars should feel more ashamed how their actions had brought such a fierce enemy to life.

Also, it was hard to see Desmond as a devil when he got surprised by a wild cat taking his prey (a bird) and running away with it while Desmond flailed his limbs like he had forgotten he had a tail after being surprised by a small cat.

Said cat was adopted by Malik immediately, much to Desmond’s pouting.

… Altaïr was the one who said he was pouting.

And his corrosive blood?

Well, the Brotherhood wasn’t going to ask what their mentor plans to do with something so dangerous.

(Altaïr is developing something that can hold Desmond’s acid blood so they could store it and use it. It’s not going well because the Apple can only give a list of metals and how to create them. The ‘how’ is being slowed down by the raw materials available to Altaïr at the moment)

[teecupangel]

What if the Desmond gets turned into an immortal animal and sent back in time trope happens but because of Isu bullshit it happens thrice once for each main ancestor

like Desmond pops into being around young Altair and is like this might as well happen so he stays with Altair for the rest of his life and travels around for a bit before thinking it's probably time to go see Ezio and he arrives in time to see another animal that he somehow knows is also him pop out of nowhere and they would be doing the Spiderman pointing meme if either if them had fingers

So they think this is weird but just go along with it for years and years until they go visit Ratonhnhaké:ton when it happens again

If you wanna be thematic maybe the desmonds ate an eagle a wolf and a bear but I thinks it's funnier if they were all the same type of animal

The Desmonds can speak to each other but no other animal or human

Honestly, I think having Desmond be an eagle, a wolf and a bear would be thematic. In that idea, I think Altaïr should have eagle!Desmond, Ezio should have wolf!Desmond and Ratonhnhaké:ton would get bear!Desmond. 

We’re giving them the following so that Altaïr’s eagle!Desmond would have an easy time traveling around before visiting Ezio. Altaïr would find eagle!Desmond as a child, maybe after training, and tries to pet him because he seemed docile. Desmond lets it happen because it’s Altaïr and Altaïr starts bringing him a bit of his food to feed him which Desmond eats because raw food felt weird even though they’re surprisingly delicious. Desmond stays with Altaïr, being known as Altaïr’s eagle who doesn’t mind getting petted. Unless you’re Abbas. Abbas only gets pecked. In one memorable incident, Desmond almost managed to peck his eye out when he was insulting Altaïr and… yeeaaahhh… everyone agrees he’s a smart bird. 

Wolf!Desmond is given to Ezio because, this way, he could be mistaken as a dog when he’s just a pup and also because Ezio had ‘dealings’ with the Followers of Romulus in Rome and I think it would be funny if Ezio was kicking their ass with an actual wolf. Give them a bit of ‘maybe we’re being punished?’ vibes before they die. XD Okay, but in all seriousness, we’re giving Desmond to Ezio as a child. To be more exact, he’s a wolf pup Petruccio found during the rare times he was strong enough to take a walk outside for a bit. He looked like a dirty little thing but Petruccio was so happy that Desmond allowed him to pet him and followed him home that his parents couldn’t say no to his request. (Up to you if Desmond being with Petruccio leads to him being able to save them or even just Petruccio or we’re going for the ‘they still get arrested and executed and Ezio keeps apologizing to Desmond for being unable to save them as he cries’ route)

Now, Ratonhnhaké:ton getting the bear is a matter of convenience. For one, it would be easier for a wolf to sneak into the cargo of a ship than a freaking bear. Another idea though would be if Ratonhnhaké:ton found the bear cub after the burning of his village, when he was at his lowest and grieving the death of his mother. Just imagine Ratonhnhaké:ton hugging the bear cub who he believes also lost his mother as he cries.

For an alternate take of Desmond being the same animal: we can go for cats.

Seeing stray cats wouldn’t be that weird and they’re usually smaller than dogs so they can easily slip in and out of places. They’re also sprinters so Desmond has a high chance of getting away.

Now.

The funny thing would be if Desmond is just a pure white cat for all three of his reincarnation. If you want to screw Desmond up a bit more, his right front paw is either black or is completely furless.

The only thing that would differentiate them is the collar.

Altaïr’s Desmond has a plain red ribbon that came from Altaïr’s sash.

Ezio’s Desmond has one of Claudia’s old ribbons with lace at the end and a small bell (that Desmond doesn’t like because it makes stealthing harder than it should be).

Ratonhnhaké:ton’s Desmond has a plain leather collar that Ratonhnhaké:ton had hunted and made himself.

[teecupangel]

AU where (I've never played Valhalla, bear with me) Aletheia had been lying out her ass about the whole "heir of memories must save the world from the- *spins wheel* ...magnetic field" and the whole thing was a ruse to deliver the staff (and thus, Aletheia) to someone more susceptible to Isu brain manipulation who would do as told and die to revive Basim

Imagine Layla and Desmond in the Grey finding this out and losing their shit, then starting a revenge plot through time to kick Aletheia's ass and free Kassandra (Layla), seduce save some of their ancestors/fellow Assassins along the way (Desmond), and try to keep these two near gods from destroying reality (Clay, whose brain is still a bit fried and doesn't know how he's here but he knows these two idiots are somehow his problem)

It would be fun if it was Clay who told them about Aletheia’s true nature. Hell, if you want to fully kick Aletheia to the villain category, maybe the whole ‘Yggdrassil problem becoming the next catastrophe’ had been her doing in some way, to force Layla to give up her life and Desmond, as the Reader, didn’t see it in the Calculations because he was, after all, not exactly Desmond Miles anymore. To be more accurate, he wasn’t entirely human anymore so he had ignored the ‘emotional element’ of the Calculations.

Clay could have woken up because he felt Layla and she was an anomaly in the sense that she wasn’t meant to die and become part of the Gray in the first place.

It would be Clay and Layla who makes the plan to screw up the timelines to kick Aletheia’s ass and set up the Grand Temple to automatically turn on without the need of anyone operating it on December 21, 2012.

The Reader says that the possibility of success is too low to even try and Layla suggests they find a way for the Reader to regain his humanity and be Desmond Miles once more.

Clay’s grin is full of mischief as he goes “Oh, I have an idea how we can get this idiot back to his old self.”

Cue in Layla and Clay’s “Let’s Fuck Up The Timeline To Save The World!” plan begins.

Layla insists that the best way to fuck up Aletheia’s plans is to destroy the damn polestick (“Isn’t it a-” “Shhhh, we’re calling it a polestick now.” “Yeah, okay.”) before it could get in the hands of Kassandra.

Clay suggests they just punch an old man and take the polestick. Layla is a bit hesitant about that since there was this whole thing about Pythagoras and Kassandra getting into some kind of resolution before he gives the polestick to Kassandra and Kassandra deserves that.

Clay then suggests they hijack the Atlantis memory thing that Kassandra goes thru and take the polestick from Kassandra. Layla says no to that one too since Kassandra would kick their asses.

Clay snorts and points at the Reader with his thumb as he says, “Not this guy.”

“There is a-”

“Fuck the probabilities. We’ll tag team her while Layla runs away with the polestick, okay? All we have to do is keep her busy until the polestick is destroyed.”

“Can you two even handle Kassandra?”

“I’ll have you know we are certified Bleeding Effect graduates… in the sense that the Bleeding Effect has effectively fucked us over.” (sees Layla’s expression) “Which just means Kassandra would have two Ezio Auditores to deal with. It’ll be fun.”

Cue the trio trying to get Kassandra to lower her guard enough for Layla to take the polestick by pretending to be citizens of Elysium.

Their chance finally comes when…

It became clear Kassandra was flirting with Layla.

“I think you should sleep with her for the betterment of mankind.”

“What.”

“Please, you’ll like it. We’ll steal the polestick while she’s busy with you.”

“Oh my god. What are you talking about? I am not having sex with Kassandra!”

“You want to though. This would be the two birds one stone kind of deal.”

“Clay, shut up.”

“Hey, Reader, what’s the success possibility of us getting the polestick if Layla has sex wth Kassandra?”

“Eighty-nine percent.”

“See? That’s the highest success rate we’ve ever got! You gotta take one for the team, Layla.”

“Oh my god.”

Of course, Layla does agree because, let’s face it, she wanted to get some with Kassandra anyway. Then Aletheia starts screaming bloody murder and Kassandra realized something is up.

Cue a chase scene where Clay and the Reader are both running for their lives while Kassandra runs after them and Layla runs after Kassandra.

Some clothes might be missing during the chase.

This is when Clay gets a bright wonderful idea to start Phase 2 of the plan and opens a new portal for another time period.

Kassandra enters the portal as well.

And Layla has no idea where they were. Considering the building architecture she just saw, she was betting somewhere where there were a lot of Muslims?

Oh, god…

They were being chased by knights with-

Oh shit.

They were knights!

She barely heard Clay say, “Your turn, Reader!”

And Clay gives the polestick to the Reader before bodyslamming him straight to a trio of monk-

No.

Assassins.

Oh shit.

Layla remembered those robes.

They were the Assassin robes worn by the Levantine Brotherhood.

The Reader falls on top of one of the Assassins and Clay hides behind the other two as he points at Kassandra, “Brothers! That woman is trying to get an artifact that the Brotherhood has been protecting!”

Oh god.

Oh my god.

Clay was insane.

The knights have also caught up to them.

And they were now surrounded and…

Wait.

Layla focused his attention to the Reader and the Assassin he had toppled and they were still in the ground, staring at each other.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Unorganized Notes:

Clay specifically opened a portal that brought them to Jerusalem just before Altaïr, Malik and Kadar infiltrated Solomon’s Temple.

Clay’s mighty plan to bring Desmond back can be summarized as “get the Reader to remember how much Desmond Miles loved his ancestors……… and maybe get him laid… that might help… we’ll play it by ear.”

Altaïr would be adamant that it wasn’t love at first sight but there was… this strange connection that he couldn’t shook off the moment their eyes met.

The Reader will admit that he did feel something… ‘foreign’ when he saw Altaïr and he agrees that Clay might be on the right track.

Layla is just confused because Clay’s usual plan seems to be to get her and the Reader laid.

Clay doesn’t deny it.

Kassandra becomes a reluctant ally of theirs because she is stranded in this timeline while they charge up their ‘portal juice’. Layla was sure that portal juice was not an actual thing.

The way their time hopping mechanics work is that they need a POE to charge it up and it will completely drain the POE afterwards. For their first portal jump, it was a freebie because they were in the Gray and it had the same ‘power source’ the POEs have. Clay even explains that the Gray is where the main power source of the POEs come from and the Isus just found a way to harness and store it in the POEs.

So they need a new POE to use to get Kassandra back to her time. Layla suggests they use the Apple in Jerusalem but the Reader goes “No.”. This is the first time the Reader had been adamant in his opinion about how the Apple belongs to Altaïr and no one else. Layla stares at Clay with an expression of “holy shit, Clay may be up to something with this whole getting someone to fuck the Reader to bring back Desmond Miles” and Clay just grins at her as if to say “I’m a genius right?”. It should be noted that, at this point, the Reader have not yet been fucked… yet.

That is how far I got because, okay, so my problem is if we continue with the idea that they’re trying to save (and seduce) Desmond’s ancestors (and fellow Assassins), this will be bittersweet since it’s like Desmond would have a relationship with some of them and then break up with them given a long-distance relationship was not viable.

Of course, considering how I write Altaïr, I wouldn’t be surprised if this ends up with the trio going their merry way screwing up the timeline by timehopping and then they later find out that Altaïr had been following them, looking for Desmond, and had been getting stubborn tagalongs along the way who were also looking for Desmond because he’s always a few steps behind the trio. (In other words, Desmond’s harem has been growing and chasing after him the entire time)

This… would be the kind of idea that Clay would definitely be on board with.

Although… considering the Reader is meant to have a connection to the possibilities, this meant that he should have seen this possibility… and did nothing to stop it. Which means… he wanted Altaïr to find the others and chase after him. XD