#i’m not sure if we should include aya because her main deal is how independent she is

[teecupangel]

AU where (I've never played Valhalla, bear with me) Aletheia had been lying out her ass about the whole "heir of memories must save the world from the- *spins wheel* ...magnetic field" and the whole thing was a ruse to deliver the staff (and thus, Aletheia) to someone more susceptible to Isu brain manipulation who would do as told and die to revive Basim

Imagine Layla and Desmond in the Grey finding this out and losing their shit, then starting a revenge plot through time to kick Aletheia's ass and free Kassandra (Layla), seduce save some of their ancestors/fellow Assassins along the way (Desmond), and try to keep these two near gods from destroying reality (Clay, whose brain is still a bit fried and doesn't know how he's here but he knows these two idiots are somehow his problem)

It would be fun if it was Clay who told them about Aletheia’s true nature. Hell, if you want to fully kick Aletheia to the villain category, maybe the whole ‘Yggdrassil problem becoming the next catastrophe’ had been her doing in some way, to force Layla to give up her life and Desmond, as the Reader, didn’t see it in the Calculations because he was, after all, not exactly Desmond Miles anymore. To be more accurate, he wasn’t entirely human anymore so he had ignored the ‘emotional element’ of the Calculations.

Clay could have woken up because he felt Layla and she was an anomaly in the sense that she wasn’t meant to die and become part of the Gray in the first place.

It would be Clay and Layla who makes the plan to screw up the timelines to kick Aletheia’s ass and set up the Grand Temple to automatically turn on without the need of anyone operating it on December 21, 2012.

The Reader says that the possibility of success is too low to even try and Layla suggests they find a way for the Reader to regain his humanity and be Desmond Miles once more.

Clay’s grin is full of mischief as he goes “Oh, I have an idea how we can get this idiot back to his old self.”

Cue in Layla and Clay’s “Let’s Fuck Up The Timeline To Save The World!” plan begins.

Layla insists that the best way to fuck up Aletheia’s plans is to destroy the damn polestick (“Isn’t it a-” “Shhhh, we’re calling it a polestick now.” “Yeah, okay.”) before it could get in the hands of Kassandra.

Clay suggests they just punch an old man and take the polestick. Layla is a bit hesitant about that since there was this whole thing about Pythagoras and Kassandra getting into some kind of resolution before he gives the polestick to Kassandra and Kassandra deserves that.

Clay then suggests they hijack the Atlantis memory thing that Kassandra goes thru and take the polestick from Kassandra. Layla says no to that one too since Kassandra would kick their asses.

Clay snorts and points at the Reader with his thumb as he says, “Not this guy.”

“There is a-”

“Fuck the probabilities. We’ll tag team her while Layla runs away with the polestick, okay? All we have to do is keep her busy until the polestick is destroyed.”

“Can you two even handle Kassandra?”

“I’ll have you know we are certified Bleeding Effect graduates… in the sense that the Bleeding Effect has effectively fucked us over.” (sees Layla’s expression) “Which just means Kassandra would have two Ezio Auditores to deal with. It’ll be fun.”

Cue the trio trying to get Kassandra to lower her guard enough for Layla to take the polestick by pretending to be citizens of Elysium.

Their chance finally comes when…

It became clear Kassandra was flirting with Layla.

“I think you should sleep with her for the betterment of mankind.”

“What.”

“Please, you’ll like it. We’ll steal the polestick while she’s busy with you.”

“Oh my god. What are you talking about? I am not having sex with Kassandra!”

“You want to though. This would be the two birds one stone kind of deal.”

“Clay, shut up.”

“Hey, Reader, what’s the success possibility of us getting the polestick if Layla has sex wth Kassandra?”

“Eighty-nine percent.”

“See? That’s the highest success rate we’ve ever got! You gotta take one for the team, Layla.”

“Oh my god.”

Of course, Layla does agree because, let’s face it, she wanted to get some with Kassandra anyway. Then Aletheia starts screaming bloody murder and Kassandra realized something is up.

Cue a chase scene where Clay and the Reader are both running for their lives while Kassandra runs after them and Layla runs after Kassandra.

Some clothes might be missing during the chase.

This is when Clay gets a bright wonderful idea to start Phase 2 of the plan and opens a new portal for another time period.

Kassandra enters the portal as well.

And Layla has no idea where they were. Considering the building architecture she just saw, she was betting somewhere where there were a lot of Muslims?

Oh, god…

They were being chased by knights with-

Oh shit.

They were knights!

She barely heard Clay say, “Your turn, Reader!”

And Clay gives the polestick to the Reader before bodyslamming him straight to a trio of monk-

No.

Assassins.

Oh shit.

Layla remembered those robes.

They were the Assassin robes worn by the Levantine Brotherhood.

The Reader falls on top of one of the Assassins and Clay hides behind the other two as he points at Kassandra, “Brothers! That woman is trying to get an artifact that the Brotherhood has been protecting!”

Oh god.

Oh my god.

Clay was insane.

The knights have also caught up to them.

And they were now surrounded and…

Wait.

Layla focused his attention to the Reader and the Assassin he had toppled and they were still in the ground, staring at each other.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Unorganized Notes:

Clay specifically opened a portal that brought them to Jerusalem just before Altaïr, Malik and Kadar infiltrated Solomon’s Temple.

Clay’s mighty plan to bring Desmond back can be summarized as “get the Reader to remember how much Desmond Miles loved his ancestors……… and maybe get him laid… that might help… we’ll play it by ear.”

Altaïr would be adamant that it wasn’t love at first sight but there was… this strange connection that he couldn’t shook off the moment their eyes met.

The Reader will admit that he did feel something… ‘foreign’ when he saw Altaïr and he agrees that Clay might be on the right track.

Layla is just confused because Clay’s usual plan seems to be to get her and the Reader laid.

Clay doesn’t deny it.

Kassandra becomes a reluctant ally of theirs because she is stranded in this timeline while they charge up their ‘portal juice’. Layla was sure that portal juice was not an actual thing.

The way their time hopping mechanics work is that they need a POE to charge it up and it will completely drain the POE afterwards. For their first portal jump, it was a freebie because they were in the Gray and it had the same ‘power source’ the POEs have. Clay even explains that the Gray is where the main power source of the POEs come from and the Isus just found a way to harness and store it in the POEs.

So they need a new POE to use to get Kassandra back to her time. Layla suggests they use the Apple in Jerusalem but the Reader goes “No.”. This is the first time the Reader had been adamant in his opinion about how the Apple belongs to Altaïr and no one else. Layla stares at Clay with an expression of “holy shit, Clay may be up to something with this whole getting someone to fuck the Reader to bring back Desmond Miles” and Clay just grins at her as if to say “I’m a genius right?”. It should be noted that, at this point, the Reader have not yet been fucked… yet.

That is how far I got because, okay, so my problem is if we continue with the idea that they’re trying to save (and seduce) Desmond’s ancestors (and fellow Assassins), this will be bittersweet since it’s like Desmond would have a relationship with some of them and then break up with them given a long-distance relationship was not viable.

Of course, considering how I write Altaïr, I wouldn’t be surprised if this ends up with the trio going their merry way screwing up the timeline by timehopping and then they later find out that Altaïr had been following them, looking for Desmond, and had been getting stubborn tagalongs along the way who were also looking for Desmond because he’s always a few steps behind the trio. (In other words, Desmond’s harem has been growing and chasing after him the entire time)

This… would be the kind of idea that Clay would definitely be on board with.

Although… considering the Reader is meant to have a connection to the possibilities, this meant that he should have seen this possibility… and did nothing to stop it. Which means… he wanted Altaïr to find the others and chase after him. XD