#one month away and ill see family i havent seen in 6 years

[characcoon]

I'm stressing so fucking hard over my vacation trip lmaaao help.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

[news4dzhozhar]

When Solitary Confinement Is A Death Sentence

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/solitary-confinement-suicide-prison-teens_n_5d63f4d3e4b01d7b529317aa

Their friendship began on July 17, 2014, with whispered secrets shared through the vent in the wall that separated their cells.

Jessica Burlew remembers the exact date because she’d turned 17 the day before, the same day that Mariam Abdullah, then 16 and about to be charged as an adult with armed robbery, had been brought to Estrella Jail in Phoenix, Arizona.

When Abdullah arrived, shackled and belly chained, in the closed custody unit, where girls deemed incorrigible were held in their cells for 23 hours a day, Burlew had been there for about six months. In that time, Burlew said she hadn’t had any contact with other teens and so was glad to hear Abdullah’s voice.

“I very much did consider Mariam a birthday present,” Burlew, now 22, wrote from Perryville Prison in Goodyear, Arizona, where she is serving a 10-year sentence. 

Over the months they were held in isolation, speaking through that vent, Burlew and Abdullah shared the things that teenagers do.

Abdullah’s favorite color was red. She wanted to be a firefighter. Her favorite musical artist was Drake.

She was silly, rambunctious and seemingly carefree. Still, the isolation wore on her. 

For the next two years, Abdullah spent much of her time separated from others, both to discipline her for what was classified as unruly behavior and to prevent her from harming herself. After she was transferred to Perryville in July 2015, she was in and out of solitary confinement in the minors unit for various infractions. Just after she turned 18, she was transferred to the Lumley Unit, the most restrictive unit in the prison where offenders were confined in their cells 23 hours a day, with one hour of recreation spent in a cage under the searing Arizona sun. When she was not in her assigned cell, Abdullah was in suicide watch cells, where again she was alone. Officers more than once carried her there by force.

After another woman in the prison, Cynthia Apkaw, died by suicide in August 2015, Abdullah wrote in a letter to a friend: “To be honest with you being here makes me feel like that but I just havent acted on it yet.” 

On July 19, 2016, she did. A handwritten poem found in her cell after her death read in part:

In this place is a struggle for her

She’s alive but not living

She’s feeling everything, feeling nothing

Tired of existing and longing to join

Those who truly know peace

The dead.

HuffPost examined some 200 documents, videos and photographs from Abdullah’s time behind bars, interviewed 16 people who knew her and reviewed her letters and other writings for this account of her life and death in isolation. 

The almost 2.2 million people in correctional facilities in the United States are often amongst the most vulnerable, with troubles — mental illness, addiction, social disenfranchisement — that put them at a high risk of suicide before they even enter a cell. Incarceration exacerbates these problems; isolation makes a bad situation worse.

“So much of who we are and how we function is implicitly dependent on interaction with other people. It’s such a natural part of human life that it’s almost as second nature as breathing,” said Craig Haney, professor at the University of California, Santa Cruz and an expert on the impact of solitary confinement. “When all of that stuff is taken away, it’s destabilizing, psychologically unsettling, in a very profound way.”

Self-harm and suicide rates in some state and federal correctional facilities have risen dramatically in recent years, an issue most recently highlighted by the death of financier Jeffrey Epstein, whose body was found in a federal facility in New York on Aug. 10. Shortly before his death, Epstein, who was awaiting trial on charges of sex trafficking, had been moved from suicide watch to a special housing unit.

Mental health experts and advocates say that the use of solitary confinement is a factor in many cases of suicide. The most recent nationwide data released by the federal Bureau of Justice Statistics shows that prisoner deaths by suicide in state prisons increased roughly 30% between 2013 and 2014 — from 192 to 249 deaths.

At least 61,000 prisoners are in some form of isolation — generally understood as being held in a cell 22 or more hours per day, for an average of 15 or more consecutive days — in facilities across the country, according to a survey done by the Association of State Correctional Administrators and the Liman Center for Public Interest Law. 

That reflects a drop nationwide, but the one statistic doesn’t provide a full picture of what is happening in individual states.



An excerpt from a letter by Mariam Abdullah written behind bars.(HuffPost)

Arizona, where Abdullah died, is tied for sixth highest in its use of solitary confinement. It has also seen an uptick in the number of suicides and instances of self-harm. During the fiscal year in which Abdullah killed herself, six prisoners died by suicide in Arizona prisons. In fiscal year 2018, there were seven suicides and 708 recorded instances of self-harm. For the last three-quarters of fiscal year 2019, after the state changed how it documented these events, there were six suicides, 87 suicide attempts and 1,406 non-suicidal instances of self-harm in the average daily population of about 42,000 inmates. A spokesperson from the Arizona Department of Corrections said the significant increase in instances of self-harm from 2018 to 2019 was in part because the department has “implemented a new method of data collection that dramatically improved the quality and level of information gathered and reported.”

There were two more suicides announced by the department last month — one on July 2, at Perryville, and another on July 22, at the Tucson facility.

In 2016, 40% of “long term secure facilities” reported locking youth in seclusion for at least four hours to “regain control of unruly behavior,” according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s Juvenile Residential Facility Census. In the same year, 21% of all juvenile residential facilities also reported locking youth in their rooms when they were deemed suicidal. The American Correctional Association, a nonprofit trade group that accredits correctional facilities, issued standards in 2018 that include banning the use of isolation beyond 30 days for minors and people with serious mental illness “unless there is an immediate and present danger to others,” but it’s not clear whether those standards have had any effect. 

And while there are generally limits on the amount of time minors can be isolated in juvenile facilities, if they are charged as adults, then they are typically subject to the rules of the adult facility.

Correctional facilities isolate people to punish them for behavioral issues or to prevent them from harming themselves or being harmed by others. But even when the isolation is purportedly for the person’s own good, experts say that being alone for 23 hours a day in a concrete cell typically smaller than a parking space takes a toll.

At Perryville, women “on watch” are initially stripped of their clothes, dressed in a short smock, and left in a bare cell where corrections officers either watch them continuously or do checks at 10- or 30-minute intervals, according to interviews with currently and formerly incarcerated women and a former Perryville mental health professional.

“They’re alone with their own thoughts, some of which may be negative, depressing,” Haney said. “There’s little to alleviate it. They begin to become depressed. Somebody who’s already depressed gets more depressed than they were before they went in.”

Isolation is a thread that ran through Abdullah’s life from early childhood.

At age 9, she, her mother Suhad, and three siblings fled their home in Iraq and moved to Tucson. At that point, she’d already experienced significant trauma. In an essay she wrote while in jail, she described having to “hide out” during the war “or else I would have died.” When she was 6, her father was beheaded — Abdullah said it was a robbery, but family friends suggest it was because he was assisting Americans during the war. 

In Tucson, Abdullah was bullied because she was from Iraq and didn’t speak English. Her mother worked long hours to support her children, but Suhad’s absence left Abdullah feeling like she had no one to whom she could turn.

“I hated myself,” Abdullah wrote in the essay. “I had no friends. I don’t understand why.”

In middle school, she decided it was better to be the bully than to be bullied. She began fighting, taking drugs and running away from home, and, according to friends, she joined a gang. The tough demeanor was a façade to mask loneliness and pain. “I always run and fight, assault, bully, steal, do drugs, have sex, go to jail to forget about all the pain. I have so much hurt and no one can see,” Abdullah wrote. It caused a rift with her mother because it was not in keeping with what was expected of a good Muslim girl.

She wanted to make her mom happy.Reina Hernandez, a friend of Abdullah’s

Child Protective Services eventually removed Abdullah because they felt her mother couldn’t control her, according to Corene Kendrick, an attorney at the Prison Law Office, a nonprofit public interest law firm based in Berkeley, California. Abdullah wound up a ward of the state, living in group homes.

“The trajectory of Mariam’s life, as her mother described it to me, was just a classic [case] of how systems fail children who have serious mental health needs or serious trauma,” said Kendrick, who first met Abdullah in May 2016 when she was in solitary confinement in Perryville’s minors unit.

On May 6, 2013, the state sent Abdullah to the Adobe Mountain School, a juvenile detention center, for a parole violation involving truancy from a group home, taking drugs and skipping school. She’d been there just 18 days when she was sent to the separation unit. She was isolated for only an hour and a half the first time — a hearing is required to hold youth for longer than 24 hours — but over the next year, Abdullah was isolated 83 times, because she was deemed a danger either to herself or to others. The longest she was held in isolation, according to Adobe Mountain records, was one day, 22 hours and 32 minutes.

She’d been out of Adobe Mountain and back in a group home for about a month when she ran away and committed the crime — she lured a man to a location where her boyfriend robbed him at gunpoint — for which she was sent to Estrella Jail and charged as an adult.

Like Burlew, Reina Hernandez met Abdullah through a vent. 

Hernandez, now 22, was in general population at Estrella, and Abdullah would call out to Hernandez and the other girls while she was taking her shower during the hour out of her cell. At times, Abdullah was released from closed custody and joined them in general population. They watched television, though there were only three channels — sports, weather and the Food Network.

They made their own makeup by mixing shavings from coloring pencils with gel and shampoo. Abdullah would braid their hair and thread their eyebrows. When Hernandez shaved off her eyebrows, thinking it would make them grow in thicker, Abdullah did the same, as a joke.

“She was always making us laugh,” Hernandez said.

Abdullah was a bundle of contradictions. She was jocular but angry. She was small with a softness to her, in both the lines of her face and her natural disposition, but did things to appear menacing. She had her boyfriend’s name — “Rey” — tattooed in large letters on the left side of her neck and was often aggressive with people she didn’t know. But with her friends, she was loyal.

“She would give you her last dollar if you were her friend,” Jasmine Flores, who was also at Estrella with Abdullah, said in a Facebook message. “And if you werent her friend she might just take it from you.” (The Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, which runs the jail, did not respond to requests to confirm that Burlew, Hernandez and Flores were there at the same time as Abdullah, and did not answer any other questions regarding Abdullah.) 

Abdullah told Hernandez and Flores that she planned to get her GED diploma. “She felt that she was the bad child, that she had made her mom suffer a lot,” Hernandez said. “She wanted to make her mom happy.”

But there were days when Abdullah didn’t seem to care much about her future or to appear bothered that she would be going to prison for several years.

“I knew she was sad about a couple things, but she always was optimistic,” Hernandez said. “She would just forget about it, you know? But maybe she bottled it up inside.” 

Abdullah’s prison medical records indicate that she had been diagnosed with mood disorder, bipolar disorder and narcissistic personality disorder and that she had attempted suicide 15 times, according to court statements.

The prison classified Abdullah as “SMI” — seriously mentally ill. She should have seen a mental health clinician every 30 days and been given extra programming due to her age and mental illnesses, under the 2015 settlement agreement in Parsons v. Ryan, a class-action lawsuit in which the American Civil Liberties Union and the Prison Law Office argued that the Arizona Department of Corrections was providing inadequate medical and mental health care and maintaining inhumane conditions in isolation units. 

But records show Abdullah never had one-on-one meetings with clinicians, according to court statements by Kendrick, who had access to Abdullah’s medical records as a lawyer monitoring compliance with the Parsons stipulations. (Despite the settlement, Parsons v. Ryan is an ongoing case: In June 2018, a judge issued an order of contempt against the Corrections Department for failure to comply with a number of the agreed-upon measures.)

Most of Abdullah’s encounters with mental health staff were brief exchanges to decide whether she could be removed from suicide watch cells. While in solitary confinement as a minor, Abdullah was not even given access to proper schooling, which was supposed to have taken place outside her cell with the other girls.

“She told us that her educational services consisted of the teacher coming back to the cell where she was, talking to her for a few minutes, and giving her little workbooks to do on her own,” Kendrick said.



Another excerpt from a letter sent by Mariam Abdullah.(HuffPost)

In May 2016, Kendrick found Abdullah in a cell by herself, where she said she’d been for two months. Abdullah had asked to speak with mental health staff but only received brief cell-front checks, and she indicated she’d been hallucinating, seeing jungle animals on the walls of her cell.

“She said they didn’t scare her because they kept her company,” Kendrick said. “There’s just something so profoundly sad about this young woman. She wasn’t upset or agitated. It made it even all the more profoundly affecting because she seemed so calm as she was describing these conditions that she had been put into and that she was living in that were just unconscionable.”

Two days before Abdullah’s 18th birthday, Kendrick wrote a letter to the Arizona assistant attorney general, asking that she be immediately removed from isolation and evaluated by clinic staff for potential placement in a unit that could treat her mental health conditions.

Instead, days after Abdullah turned 18, she was transferred to Lumley.

Wendy Anderson, 46, is four years into a life sentence at Perryville. As she sits on a bench outdoors in the visiting area, she pulls hand-rolled cigarettes from a clear plastic bag and burns through them, one after another, in a seamless cycle. She nervously shakes her left leg as she smokes.

The tattoo on Anderson’s left arm reads “no justice, no peace.” On her right, about an inch below the crook of her elbow, is Abdullah’s first name.

One of the stipulations in the Parsons v. Ryan settlement was that women classified SMI should be offered activities during their out-of-cell time. One such activity was an art class, and it was there, shackled to tables and coloring outlines of Disney characters with crayons, that Anderson said she first met Abdullah.

Anderson was struck that someone so young had been placed in Lumley, where those on death row and serving life sentences were also housed.

“She had a fresh face look, like a young kid,” Anderson said. “She was a minor and they just threw her to the wolves.”

Anderson considered herself Abdullah’s “jail mom.”

She tried her best to protect Abdullah from the women who harassed her, calling her “ISIS” and “bin Laden,” spitting on her and threatening to assault her.

They’re in pain to begin with, and then they get put in a painful segregation or isolation unit, they’re in even greater pain.Craig Haney, professor at the University of California, Santa Cruz

Abdullah asked to be moved to another unit, according to several women at the prison. She continued to harm herself and was frequently placed in suicide watch cells. On one occasion, when Abdullah was 17, a video recorded by prison staff shows her standing quietly defiant by a bunk bed as two women try to convince her to go to the watch cell voluntarily. She refuses, and several officers crowd around her as she presses herself into the corner where the bunk meets the wall.

“You’re not going to fight, because you’re not going to win,” an officer says.

But Abdullah fights, kicking even as officers carry her, one holding each limb, into a cell where she is cuffed and pinned down, and her clothes are cut off with shears.

While isolating someone to prevent them from harming themselves is a fine solution if there is immediate danger, being taken by force causes additional trauma. It is in essence an assault, said Haney, the expert on solitary confinement. Long-term isolation without treatment for whatever is causing the suicidal tendencies often creates a cycle.

“They’re in pain to begin with, and then they get put in a painful segregation or isolation unit, they’re in even greater pain,” Haney said. 

The issue is, in part, a lack of resources: There simply aren’t enough mental health staff to properly treat prisoners. Angela Fischer worked as a psychology associate for Corizon, the nation’s largest for-profit correctional health care provider, which from March 2013 until July 2019 provided health care services for the Arizona Department of Corrections. She testified during a Parsons v. Ryan hearing that one employee was assigned to mental health assessment and intake for as many as 80 people a day and that she was often called in to assist.

In addition, corrections officers who monitor the suicide watch cells sometimes don’t do checks as frequently as they are supposed to. The Corrections Department fired 13 employees in 2016, after an investigation found that the guards had falsified logs stating they were checking on inmates with mental illnesses every 30 minutes.

On June 29, 2016, according to Corrections Department records, Abdullah told an officer she wanted to kill herself. She was put in restraints, taken for a medical assessment and placed on watch for a week.

She was placed on watch again on July 10, 2016, a little over a week before her death, after an officer noticed a bite mark on her wrist. A video shows that as a nurse phones Dr. Webster, the psychologist on duty, Abdullah sits slouched in a chair, eyes closed, looking worn. The nurse relays Webster’s instructions that Abdullah be placed on continuous watch, meaning she will be in a cell with an officer watching her 24 hours a day. But when the two male officers take her arms, she resists.

“I’m not getting up,” she says.

Though she is sitting still, an officer keeps telling Abdullah to calm down. Then he tells her to get up, and when she refuses, three male officers throw her to the ground, where she strikes her nose on the concrete floor. Blood now dripping from her nose, Abdullah is pinned down and strapped to a gurney, a dark mask is placed over her head, and she is transported to the watch cell, where she remained until July 15.

Beyond providing the videos and records concerning Abdullah’s time in prison, Corrections Department officials declined to comment for this story. In their records documenting the use of force on July 10, prison staff note several times that they “assisted” or “placed” Abdullah on the ground, using “the least amount of force” necessary.

Abdullah’s mother did not want to speak publicly about her daughter’s death, but she talked with Kendrick shortly after Abdullah died.

“She kept saying, ‘I think she was murdered. I think she was murdered,’” Kendrick recalled. “But the longer I talked to her, I think it was more metaphorical. She was murdered by being bullied and not protected and not having adequate mental health care.”

One of the last times Hernandez saw Abdullah was on the eve of Hernandez’s 18th birthday, before she was transferred at midnight to the adult side of Estrella Jail. The girls wished Hernandez happy birthday, told her they loved her and were going to miss her.

“Mariam, she gave me a big old hug,” said Hernandez. “She said, ‘I’m going to see you.’”

Abdullah said that when she was released, she was going to take Hernandez to visit her mother in Tucson. They continued to write each other after Hernandez was let out of jail.

Hernandez keeps Abdullah’s letters in a shoebox in her closet. In most of them, Abdullah sounds upbeat. There are letters with drawings: stick figures of Abdullah and Hernandez, with butterflies and hearts, and “Mariam + Reyna = together forever.” But on one postcard, Abdullah writes about how hard it is to so often be alone.

“It was solitary,” Hernandez said, as she speculated about what it was that led Abdullah to take her own life. “It was so much over a period of time — and maybe lack of communication with us, friends, family. Maybe the meds.”

Though she’d caught glimpses of Abdullah’s sadness, Hernandez still struggles to accept her suicide, especially since she was just six months away from being released.

“She was strong. This is the girl, no matter what happens, she was going to be fine,” Hernandez said, her voice trailing off. “I don’t understand, I don’t understand it, I don’t understand …”

[lilacsos]

Babysitter AI

A/N: Ok so this has been in the works for a month and I never finished it. I made a poll asking what I should write next and the winner was Ashton fluff so here is Ashton fluff. It also kinda switches between focusing on you and Ash and Luke at home with the kid so I hope it’s not confusing. I also put a keep reading cause I feel it’s long

Requested: Kinda?

Words: 3048 (a lot compared to my usual 1500)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x reader

*Warnings*: Mentions of miscarriage, cute dad!Ashton, babysitter Luke, y’all have a son named Oliver

Summary: You and Ashton have been dating for years and you now have a nineteen-month-old son and you haven’t had a date night since before he was born. In comes Uncle Lu to watch the little tot while you and Ash go out

Masterlist  Wanna be tagged?

     Date night. It was something you and Ashton used to have at least once a week. Sometimes more or less depending on his tour schedule. It was one of the things you had looked forward to the most because those were nights the two of you could get out and just be you two again. Sometimes Ashton took you to fancy restaurants that he paid extra to make sure fans or paparazzi didn’t find out you would be there. Sometimes Ashton took you to the McDonald’s drive-thru and you guys sat and ate in the car outside of the house forever. Recently, there haven’t been as many date nights. It wasn’t that you and Ashton were fighting or anything, you had a baby. You loved your little Oliver with all your heart but he was about nineteen months old right now and you were exhausted. Luckily tour had ended a month or so before you gave birth so Ashton was home to help you since Oli was born. But, the two of you hadn’t had a date night in almost two years and you missed them. Ashton had expressed to you how much he missed them as well; so, with that, the hunt for a babysitter began. You knew you could ask the neighbors or use one of those websites but you were worried about people sending out personal information about you guys or your son. That’s what happened when you have a child with a famous man. Now was when you wished you lived closer to family that could watch the little guy but no one was close enough. The only people close were the boys. It’s not that you didn’t trust them, you just didn’t trust them. You and Ashton have been searching since Oliver was ten months but no one seemed good enough. At this point, you were tempted to hire a nanny. You were brought out of your thoughts by the sounds of Oliver’s laugh. The boys were over visiting and currently Luke and Oliver were playing.

     “Come on Ash! One of us or all of us are fit to take care of Oli!” Michael laughed and threw his arm around your shoulders. “You guys need a date night and some adult conversations. Let one of us watch the little man.”

     You smiled at Michael and glanced over at your boyfriend of four years. He looked to be entertaining the idea of the boys watching his son; while Ashton thought, you looked back at your son. He looked just like Ashton. Oli had the same curly brown hair, hazel eyes, and adorable little nose. In your eyes, Oliver was perfect and no one could change your mind. You watched as he giggled as Luke grabbed him under the arms and threw him up into the air and caught him on the way down. Oliver let out a little squeal that soon turned to a scream. “I think this means boob please!” Luke yelled over the screaming, sending Ashton off to grab a bottle to heat up. It was close to his bedtime so he was ready for a bottle and to be put down.

     “He doesn’t get boob anymore Luke! He just gets a bottle! Those puppies are all mine!” Ashton called from the kitchen, causing you to roll your eyes and Michael to crack up. He came back into the living room, sending you a wink before he grabbed Oliver from Luke and went upstairs to put him to sleep.

     Luke came to sit on the other side of you and smiled. “Yeah, Y/N. I really think one of us could watch Oli no problem. Maybe not Calum.” He snorted and gestured over to Cal who had been asleep in the chair for an hour.

     “I’ll talk to Ash. Thank you guys for offering though. You guys are the best.”

          You and Ashton had spent almost a week talking about having one of the boys babysit Oli and you finally came to a decision. In less than an hour, Luke would be over to watch Oliver while you and Ashton had a date night. It might not have seemed like an obvious choice to pick Luke but you had seen the way Luke played with Oli and how much your son enjoyed spending time with his Uncle Lu. Not to mention you had Michael on call in case Luke needed extra help. Ashton came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You glanced at him through the mirror and sighed. “What if something goes wrong?”

     Ashton kissed your shoulder and spun you to face him. “It won’t Doll. Luke will be fine. And if anything were to happen, which it won’t, Michael is ready to come over.”

     You sighed and rested your hands on his shoulders. “I really hope so.”

     Ashton smirked and leaned in to kiss you but the sound of your son’s voice stopped him. “Daddy!” The squeal that erupted from Oliver’s lips when Ashton picked him up make your heart swoon. Ashton peppered kisses all over his son’s face as you stopped to take a picture. At the sound of the doorbell, you ran downstairs and opened the door to find Luke with a bright smile and a teddy bear bigger than Oli.

     “This is for the little tyke. I hope he likes it.” Luke set the bear on the couch and looked towards the stairs to see Ashton helping Oliver down the stairs.

     “He’s gonna love it since it came from his Uncle Lu.” Ashton laughed and watched Oliver run over to Luke and grasp onto his legs. “Ok, Oliver didn’t have a nap today so he will be tired. Usually, his bedtime is seven but since he didn’t nap you can probably get him to go down at 6:30 if you try. There’s a bottle in the fridge, all you have to do is heat it up. We usually set it in warm water for no more than ten minutes.”

     “If he gets fussy, start making the bottle. You can ask him if he’s tired and he might tell you ‘yes’ but he’s gonna avoid sleeping for as long as he can. Make sure to change his diaper and pjs before bed. Rock him in the rocking chair while he drinks his bottle and sing to him. Then just put him in bed.” You grabbed your coat off of the rack and smiled at Oliver who had plopped himself down at Luke’s feet and began to play with his shoelaces.

     Luke stared at both of you with wide eyes as he tried to process all of the information he was just told. “Anything else?”

     “Yeah, if he wakes up, try to rock him back to sleep. Ashton usually sings him Close As Strangers when he wakes up in the middle of the night.” You turned to see Ashton standing at the open door.

     “Call us if you need anything Luke. Or call Michael.” Ashton wrapped his arm around your waist and smiled. “We should be home by nine.”

     Luke grabbed Oliver in his hands and brought him over so the two of you could say goodbye before you left. After many kisses on Oli’s chubby cheeks, the two of you set out ready for date night.

     Luke closed the door behind the two of you and smiled down at Oliver. “Alright pal, we have half an hour before I’m expecting you to get tired. What do you wanna do?”

     “Puppy!” Oliver squealed and pointed to the bookcase.

     “That’s a bookcase dude.” He set Oliver down on the ground and watched him run over to the books and pull out one with a puppy on the cover. “Oh, I get it. Puppy. Alright, let’s get to reading.”

     “Do you think he’s ok?”

     “I’m sure Oli is fine baby.” Ashton answered as he looked at the menu in front of him.

     “I meant Luke. Do you think Oliver is being too difficult? Maybe we should call Luke and check on him.” You sighed and set the menu down, not very hungry now.

     “Honey, he’s fine. Don’t worry about Luke. We’ve been gone for only twenty minutes. Oliver has probably been having Luke read to him the whole time. This is a date night for us to have adult conversations.” He reached over the tabled and grabbed your hand in his. “We can get ice cream after dinner if you want it.”

     With a small sigh, you smiled up at Ashton. “You know I can’t say no to ice cream.” Ashton seemed to think you finally had your mind off of your son as he went back to looking at the menu but he was wrong. What if Luke dropped Oliver? What if Oliver poked Luke in the eye and Luke needed to go to the hospital? What if someone broke into the house and stole Oliver?

     “Hey, I can’t read minds but I can read faces. You’re worried.”

     “How are you not worried?”

     “I trust Luke with my life. I trust him with Oli. You should too.” Ashton sighed and smiled up at the waiter who had come to take your order. “I’m sure they’re fine.” He mumbled after the young girl left.

     “Momma!” Oliver screamed once again as Luke tried to hand him the bottle. Oliver’s chubby little hands smacked the bottle out of his face and watched it fall to the ground.

     “Mommy is gonna be home soon. You need to drink your bottle if you want to see her.” Luke had been bribing the small child for almost fifteen minutes, trying to get him to drink the bottle. He suddenly had no idea how you and Ashton took care of Oliver and made it look so easy. Luke managed to change Oliver without too much of a hassle, thank god. Luke did not want to get baby pee on him. But giving him his bottle, was a whole different story.

     “No!” Oliver then took off down the hall, running away from Luke. With a groan, Luke took off after Oliver for the tenth time that night.

     After a few minutes of chasing his nephew, Luke scooped him up in his arms and bounced him around a little, seeing how Oliver rubbed his eyes. “Please drink your bottle buddy. If you drink it Momma and Daddy will be home sooner.”

     Something must have clicked because with that, Oliver grabbed the bottle and quickly began drinking it. Finally, something was going right. Luke sat down in the rocking chair and began rocking back and forth, singing Oliver to sleep. Once Oli was asleep, Luke leaned his head against the chair and closed his eyes. Now all he had to do was transfer Oliver into his crib which sounded pretty easy in theory but Luke couldn’t be sure that transferring him wouldn’t wake him up. So, he sat there for almost twenty minutes, rocking Oliver to make sure he was sleeping before he carefully stood and lowered Oli into his crib. Oliver wiggled a little bit and Luke held his breath as he watched the small child move around. Luckily, he continued to sleep and once Luke pulled the side of the crib up, he would hopefully be done for the night.

     “Do you remember the first time I kissed you?” Ashton asked with a laugh as he threw his arm around your waist, leading you through the park with your ice creams in hand.

     “How could I forget? It was 2015 and you guys won the ARIA for best Australian Live Act. You got so excited about the win that you kissed me. I didn’t even know what to think or do.” You answered with a laugh, smiling at the memory.

     “Ah, but what you don’t know is I had been trying to work up the courage to ask you out for months. It was that day that I decided I would ask you out after the show. Of course, I was not expecting to have already kissed you but, it went well.” Ashton took a lick of his ice cream before switching with you so you could get a taste of his and he could have some of yours.

     “Since apparently, this park has memory lane,” you stopped to smile when Ashton laughed at your joke, “do you remember when we found out we were pregnant with Oli?”

     Ashton smiled and took you to sit on a park bench. “Of course I do. That was the best day of my life. We weren’t trying for a baby but we weren’t preventing anything. You hadn’t been feeling good the past few weeks so I took you to the doctor and we didn’t even think you could be pregnant. So, when the doctor asked if we had unprotected sex, the gears started turning. They did a test and that’s when we found out we would be parents.”

     “You cried like a baby.” Ashton giggles at your words and pulled you to sit on his lap.

     “Can you blame me? I just learned I would be a dad, finally.”

     The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying spending some time together. It had been so long since you two had time to yourselves, you didn’t know what to talk about. Of course, the lack of talking was fine too but it allowed your mind to wander. Oliver wasn’t your first pregnancy. You and Ashton had gotten pregnant the year before you were expecting Oliver. The baby hadn’t made it past the first trimester and it really hurt you and Ashton. So of course, when you found out you were pregnant again, you took every precaution to make sure he would be safe. Once you passed the point of hiding your growing bump, you finally told everyone. You also broke the news that this wasn’t your first pregnancy. Everyone was so supportive of you two which made everything a lot easier. Maybe that’s why you didn’t think a babysitter would ever be good enough for Oli.

     “What are you thinking about?” Ashton asked softly, bringing you from your thoughts.

     “Oli could have been a younger brother.” At your words, Ashton wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you onto his lap, your head on his chest.

     “I know baby.” He kissed the top of your head, hands rubbing your back. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

     “It happened to you too Ash.” You mumbled as you pulled away from his chest to get a better look at him.

     “I know but it was your body that went through it. I wish I could have stopped it or helped you. I’m so sorry.” Ashton took the miscarriage hard as well. You knew he wanted a big family and he thought he was going to get started on that when suddenly his dream was crushed. The possibility of being a dad was ripped out of his hands and thrown away. He spent the first few months after the miscarriage with you, making sure you were ok. It wasn’t until after he felt you were fine, he began going through his own grieving process. The boys were a huge help during that time. “But now we have Oli and he’s the best son I could have ever asked for.”

     “I love you. You’re the best boyfriend and father to Oliver.”

     “And I love you. I can’t imagine my life without you.” Ashton smiled down at you, his hand coming to rest on your cheek as he leaned down, pressing his lips softly to yours. He rested his forehead on yours and smiled, kissing your nose.

     “I want another. I know it’s soon and Oli is still so young and it will be hard to have a toddler and a newborn but...”

     Ashton shook his head as he pulled back to see your face. “I don’t think it’s too soon. We can start trying. But first, let’s go home and see our boy.”

     “Oliver, are you kidding me?” Luke whined as he bounced the child in his arms. Oliver had woken up only after sleeping for a little more than an hour. Luke had been rocking him for the past 45 minutes, hoping and praying that the kid would go to sleep before you and Ashton came home. “Do you want me to sing you a song?”

     Oliver’s cries slowly died down as he nodded. “Daddy song.” Luke had no idea what that meant until he remembered your words before you left.

     “Ok, I’ll sing Daddy’s song.” Luke pushes Oliver’s hair out of his eyes and softly began to sing. “Six weeks since I’ve been away, and you’re saying everything has changed and I’m afraid that I might be losing you.”

     It didn’t take long for Oliver to fall asleep once more after Luke began singing. He laid the small boy back into the crib and once he was sure he was asleep, he wandered down to the living room and laid down on the couch, ready to pass out. In fact, he almost fell asleep until he heard the sound of the front door opening. Luke didn’t even bother to move as you and Ashton stepped into the house.

     “Hey Luke.” Ashton smiled, taking in the sight of one of his best friends on the couch. “How did it go?” He took your coat off of your shoulders and hung it on the rack.

     “Pretty good I would say. He fell asleep at seven since he was avoiding me and he stayed asleep for an hour before he woke up again. It took another hour to get him back to sleep but he’s sleeping now.”

     You smiled and once Luke was standing, you walked over and wrapped your arms around his middle. “Thank you, Lu. Really. Thank you.”

     Luke smiled up at Ashton and kissed your cheek. “Anything for the mother of my favorite nephew.”

     “He’s your only nephew, for now at least.” At Ashton’s words, you turned to look at your boyfriend with a smile. “Want to take Oli to the park next week so we can work on baby’s number two?”

     “Only if Michael puts him to bed next time.”

Tags (If your name is crossed out it means I can’t tag you)

@lustingfor5sos @mycollectionofnuts @ohhmuke @softboycal @norawashere  @astrosashton @katiaw2 @littlesinnersins @bbyboyycal @rosecoloredash

[haught-at-waverly-place]

answer all of them

answers under the cut! only doing this cause im that bored

200: My crush’s name is: no one 199: I was born in: 1996198: I am really: bored197: My cellphone company is: wtf who cares?? 196: My eye color is: green/blue 195: My shoe size is: 6.5194: My ring size is: idk small 193: My height is: smol 192: I am allergic to: cats and all of nature in the spring and summer 191: My 1st car was: an hhr or as i liked to call it a poor mans hearse190: My 1st job was: an in home care taker aka i cleaned elderly peoples homes189: Last book you read: god i dont read188: My bed is: my best friend 187: My pet: is the loml 186: My best friend: she lives too far away tbh 185: My favorite shampoo is: i use old spice 2-in-1 like the basic bitch i am184: Xbox or ps3: ps3??? what year is it the switch is where its mfkin at 183: Piggy banks are: dope af 182: In my pockets: nothing cause im a broke bitch 181: On my calendar: nothing cause im a boring bitch 180: Marriage is: cool good on everyone who is married to their best friends 179: Spongebob can: new spongebob can die cause its garbage 178: My mom: is the best 177: The last three songs I bought were? who buys songs? 176: Last YouTube video watched: air crash investigations (dont ask) 175: How many cousins do you have? idk 174: Do you have any siblings? one sister 173: Are your parents divorced? nah 172: Are you taller than your mom? nah 171: Do you play an instrument? i used to play the violin and guitar but not anymore 170: What did you do yesterday? tried not to die [ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: idk maybe? 168: Luck: sure 167: Fate: yeah sure 166: Yourself: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha no 165: Aliens: fuck yeah 164: Heaven: ehhh no 163: Hell: no 162: God: not really 161: Horoscopes: lowkey160: Soul mates: every one has one 159: Ghosts: kind of 158: Gay Marriage: nah why would gays want to get married 157: War: war is p stupid 156: Orbs: wtf is an orb??155: Magic: no [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: kisses 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: black 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: cold 148: Summer or winter: winter 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: this is dark chocolate erasure and i will not stand for it 140: Mac or PC: mac 139: Flip flops or high heals: neither both are garbage for the feet 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: im already sweet and poor sooooo137: Coke or Pepsi: where is my dr. pepper representation 136: Hillary or Obama: obama 135: Burried or cremated: cremated id like to go out in a burnin glory even if im already dead 134: Singing or Dancing: singing 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are you people 131: Small town or Big city: big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: im a lesbian so target obviously 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither 128: Manicure or Pedicure: pedicure only cause they message my feet and legs 127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: xmas cause snow 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: neither who cares about baseball [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: men bein garbage 121: George Bush: why? 120: Gay Marriage: hell yeah we got it 119: The presidential election: we might as well have elected a crackhead 118: Abortion: let women get them safely so they dont fucking die its that simple117: MySpace: jesus is it 2006 again 116: Reality TV: its trashy but ill watch it cause im trash 115: Parents: love your parents kids (unless they are abusive) 114: Back stabbers: are awful just like maybe dont stab people in the back literally and metaphorically 113: Ebay: ive literally never used ebay in my life 112: Facebook: its p garbage i barely ever use it 111: Work: capitalism has killed workers and quality work 110: My Neighbors: they are there 109: Gas Prices: i havent gotten gas in like 2 months so like idk 108: Designer Clothes: why are they all like so ugly??107: College: stressful and only vaguely worth something 106: Sports: fun to play but boring to watch. i only go to sporting events for the alcohol 105: My family: is v dope and i love them 104: The future: stressful and i hate thinking about it [ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: last night it was my dad 102: Last time you ate: last night lol 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: probably back in december with my best friend 100: Cried in front of someone: oooof all the time 99: Went to a movie theater: like 2 wks ago 98: Took a vacation: january i went on a cruise 97: Swam in a pool: last summer i think 96: Changed a diaper: uhhh never…. 95: Got my nails done: god way back in high school when i thought i was straight 94: Went to a wedding: last friday! 93: Broke a bone: 3 wks ago haha 92: Got a peircing: i havent gotten a piercing since i was like 6 91: Broke the law: uhhh i plead the fifth 90: Texted: i texted my mom like 40 mins ago [ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: myself 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog shes so cute 87: The last movie I saw: spiderman into the spiderverse 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: a vacation to see my aunt in indiana 85: The thing im not looking forward to: going back to school 84: People call me: uhhh my name? 83: The most difficult thing to do is: rn? pretty much everything 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: im a leo 80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom 79: First time you had a crush: first time i remember was freshman yr of college 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my mom 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: i dont remember 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody im a lonely bitch 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully something to do with neuropsychology 74: I have/will get a job: 73: Tomorrow: wtf does this even mean 72: Today: or this one 71: Next Summer: and this one 70: Next Weekend: and even this one 69: I have these pets: a golden retriever mix 68: The worst sound in the world: 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: hahaha myself 66: People that make you happy: my family and friends 65: Last time I cried: yesterday 64: My friends are: amazing wonderful people that i love 63: My computer is: my lifeline 62: My School: is small but good 61: My Car: is a lesbian wagon that looks like i live in it 60: I lose all respect for people who: cheat on their s/o 59: The movie I cried at was: i dont usually cry during movies 58: Your hair color is: confusing kind of blonde also kind of brown 57: TV shows you watch: she ra, killing eve, grey anatomy too many others to list 56: Favorite web site: youtube 55: Your dream vacation: to go to germany 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: idk maybe my post surgery foot pain 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare the only way a steak should be eaten 52: My room is: always a disaster 51: My favorite celebrity is: taylor swift 50: Where would you like to be: idk 49: Do you want children: noooo 48: Ever been in love: yes i have 47: Who’s your best friend: we aint naming names on here 46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends45: One thing that makes you feel great is: playing with my dog 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: A43: Do you have a 5 year plan: god no i dont even have a 5 hour plan 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: nah 41: Have you pre-named your children: nope40: Last person I got mad at: myself39: I would like to move to: somewhere other than where i am now 38: I wish I was a professional: at being not depressed [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: bottle caps or ritter sports 36: Vehicle: subaru wrx hatchbacks with a wide body kit are b nice 35: President: who tf has a favorite president 34: State visited: oregon or washington 33: Cellphone provider: who has a fave cell provider???32: Athlete: none31: Actor: idk like chris pratt or something 30: Actress: rn jodie comer 29: Singer: hayley williams 28: Band: paramore 27: Clothing store: h&m 26: Grocery store: target 25: TV show: law and order svu 24: Movie: princess mononoke 23: Website: youtube 22: Animal: red panda 21: Theme park: disneyland 20: Holiday: halloween 19: Sport to watch: none they are all hella boring 18: Sport to play: softball 17: Magazine: none i dont read 16: Book: i dont read books cant concentrate for that long 15: Day of the week: idk saturday 14: Beach: ive been to a beach like 3 times and i barely remember them 13: Concert attended: paramore after laughter concert last summer 12: Thing to cook: cooking stresses me the fuck out so i dont have a favorite thing to cook 11: Food: pasta!! 10: Restaurant: uhhh i dont really have one 9: Radio station: its 2019 who listens to the radio 8: Yankee candle scent: i dont really use candles 7: Perfume: i dont wear perfume 6: Flower: peach roses probably 5: Color: red 4: Talk show host: i dont watch talk shows they are all boring 3: Comedian: john mulaney or iliza schlesinger 2: Dog breed: corgi 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? hahahahaha

[rosekun25]

Fourteen Reasons why.

 April 9th, 2017

Dear Tumblr Diary, 

I’m watching “Thirteen Reasons Why.” 

I haven’t read the books since middle school. But my cousin from my Dad’s side of the family sent me the book I think a year ago.  Life always has a way of foreshadowing. I swear it does.

Anyway I’m reading the book too, putting off getting my food handler’s card because fuck that shit. 

Anyway Im watching this and its kind of triggering. I havent watched the part where she kills herself but I imagine I’ve seen worse. 

There’s a video I’ve seen Here’s a link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_PdYb0EL-Y

Anyway so far that part has hit me the most. 

I mean, It has. After I got out of the hospital nobody asked me if I was okay. I had to lie. I lied about everything so I wouldnt get sent away longer than they needed me to be away. 

I lied and said It was because I missed my great grandma instead of telling them it was because my world had shattered and nobody could hurt me anymore. 

I lied about the pills. I took 96. Well thats now many were in the bottle. I told them I didnt know how many I’d taken. I just lied lied lied lied lied. I didnt tell anybody why I did it. 

aTLEAST Until they couldnt send me away anymore. 

So here are fourteen reasons why I wanted to kill myself 

14. I felt like I’d do it sooner or later. 

I mean it was really weird. I’ve had depression for most of my earlier childhood. I remember not thinking I’d make it to 20. But here I am. I remember wanting to get married and have children but I didn’t actually think I would live long enough to actually do it. I mean I didn’t think I’d finish High School. 

13. I wasn’t beautiful. 

At least I didn’t think I was. I thought pretty girls were 100 pounds, blonde and didn’t have to worry about anything except which husband they wanted.  I guess I was sort of insecure. But not in the sense that I thought I was ugly. Just in the sense that I wasnt  beautiful. 

12. I was starving myself.

Well I don’t really remember this part. I just remember I was really really hungry. The doctors there said I hadn’t eaten for a month. But Im not sure that’s accurate. I mean I must have eaten at some point. I remember I drank tea.  But anyway. I guess i was displaying “Anorexic tenancies” or whatever I was half asleep I didn’t listen.

11. I wanted to die. (duh)

But it wasn’t in the sense of me actually wanting to die.  I mean when you’re young you learn about the circle of life, you watch ‘Lion King.’ Mufasa dies and you learn you wont be around for ever. I guess I just ’ wanted to hurry up and do what I was supposed to. 

10. At the time, my life sucked dick. 

I remember it. I was horribly depressed and doing my best to hide it. I remember I wanted nothing more than to just be held like a baby and told everything was going to be alright. But it wasn’t. There was a point in my life where I kept everything to myself. Everything. Even stupid shit like “Where do you want to eat?” or “Are you hungry?”. I just felt like I had to. Keep everyone safe, dont let anybody know you’re suffering sort of thing. 

Anyway my life sucked dick, because I was always hungry never sleeping and I was overworked. I also was verbally abused at my job. To the point where I would want to cry whenever I walked in the store. But more on that some other time. 

I also hated T or  C. If Im going back there. Im going back in a body bag. 

My Home life also sucked dick. I remember not having hotwater in the bathroom. I remember being cold every night because they refused to pay more money to turn up the thermostat. If I wasnt cold. I was so Hot. There were ants everywhere. On my clothes. In the kitchen. EVERYWHERE. I wasnt allowed to leave my house either. I couldnt just get up and go I wasnt allowed to leave except for school and work. I couldnt leave and it drove me fucking mad.  I didnt have much food to eat, If there was food it was all gobbled up by my fat ass Grandfather who liked to steal my things. I still dont know what he did with most of it. The dryer didnt work either so I’d have to go to school in wet clothes that were freezing. I hated it. Oh and not to mention every morning I’d wake up to screaming. Always screaming. Nobody could ever say “Good Morning Rose, you’ve to wake up now.” No. They were too busy screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming, 

9. I was so tired of everything. 

I was. Really. I still kind of am. Im tired of having to work all the time and having no money. I was tired of waking up every day and going to a school. I feel like I would have liked school better if I didnt have to wake up early and put up with all of that bullshit. 

The bullshit I am tired of here has literally went from 95% to maybe about 15%  Professors are honest with me, My coworkers all do their jobs and I dont get in trouble if they don’t. Really Imagine, getting in trouble because one of your coworkers didnt do their job right. 

The only bullshit I have to deal with is making sure I have enough hours. Which if you ask me isnt a biggie, also I make enough to take care of myself. Which is a lot better than where I was before. 

8. I was going insane. 

Now I know what you’re thinking “Omg, yeah sure whatever Rose. Everybody on Facebook likes to pretend they’re crazy for attention, Change your picture to Joker and Harley just to add edginess. 

But no. It was stuff I dont want to dicuss with you. I had horrible dreams and I wanted to do some horrible things. In a way, I honestly thought if I killed myself I would save everyone.  I still dont remember what I wanted to save them from. 

7. I didnt have any friends. 

Now again I know what you’re thinking, “This bitch is tripping. She won Homecoming Duchess and Princess at the last dance!” (  Side Note: I also went on to win Prom Queen. But Everybody voted for me because I wasn’t allowed to run for homecoming queen because I tried to kill myself in the Bathroom.) 

I didnt have a Best friend. I didnt have somebody who hung out with me or came to my house specifically to play with me. I worked too much or somebody who ate lunch with me because they wanted to and not because I’d integrated into their little group because one of the members felt sorry for me and wanted to be my friend again. 

I knew a lot of people. But I was fiery, Passionate and emotional. People were afraid of that. Either that, or they didnt care enough to try and understand it. 

6. I was suffering from an unDiagnosed Mental illness 

It was Borderline Personality Disorder.  It was making me crazy. 

I still dont understand what it means. 

I know it means. 

But I dont understand it. 

5. I missed my Daddy. 

There. I said it. I FUCKING SAID IT. 

In my family, I was supposed to pretend he didnt exist. We all were. We didnt have Dads. We were just born. You know i didnt accept my Step Dad until My Dad stopped coming to see me. But what does that matter? I mean I wasNT  A BOY. HE DIDNT FUCKING WANT A GIRL. HE PROBABLY HAS 80 BILLION FUCKING DAUGHTERS! HE DOESNT NEED ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!!!!

But how am I going to forget the man who hated it when I cried? The man who bought me all of these presents because he knew he was never going to see me ever again. The man who bought me my first Barbie Car, my Hamtaro doll and my pretty Amethyst Birth Stone Barbie. All because he fucking knew he was never going to see me again. 

I havent seen him since I was two.  But I remember waking up in my hospital bed with Leslie telling him he had to talk to me because the doctors said they didnt know if I’d make it. I heard my auntie tell him in spanish and then he said “I dont talk to anyone who isnt blood.” and I wished I would have died again and again and again. 

4. I wasnt afraid to die. 

I mean honestly who is? Im Catholic now. I understand its the circle of life. Ive seen Lion King. But I honestly wasnt afraid to die. 

Here’s my philosphy on Religion and Death and everything 

If you’re a buddist and you die. You go do Buddist stuff. Buddist heaven, Buddist Hell. 

If you’re Jewish and you die. You go to Jewish Heaven because there isnt a hell. 

I know in church they tell you not to believe in other gods. But God mentions in the Holy Bible several times. So Meh. 

But I wasnt afraid to die. Im pretty sure my life had been clean and the only sins I really had were Hating my parents and Premarital sex. God wouldnt send me to hell for that. So I thought I’d go to heaven and party with Kurt Cobain

Because when a kid with Cancer dies, God doesnt send them to hell for dying of Cancer. So why would he send me to hell for succumbing to my depression? 

I mean atleast even if He was the God I think he is. 

3. By this point I was honestly sure nobody cared. 

The English teacher who carried me to the ambulance cared. I’m sure of that. 

But I mean nobody cared. I remember coming home to no food in the refrigerator and thinking “Oh well they’re making it easier for me now.” I remember nobody ever asking how I was.  I remember feeling numb I remember waking up that morning and deciding I was going to give life one last Chance. I’d missed the bus that morning and I had to call my  Grandmère to give me a ride to school because My Mother wouldnt teach me how to drive because she didnt want me to run off with my boyfriend and be happy. 

Because I guess bragging rights about your kids going to college are more important than your kids actually being happy. I’ll remember that when I have kids. If I live to have kids at least. 

Anyway I remember forgetting to take the pills out of my backpack. Im sure there’s an alternate universe somewhere where I did take them out of my backpack and I just went home early that day instead of killing myself in the bathroom. But hey what about the alternate universe where Hitler cured Cancer?

Nobody cared. Thats the point. Obviously if nobody noticed I was starving myself. If nobody noticed any of the signs that I displayed. 

But of course they all showed up to the hospital and cried crocodile tears. Then they yelled at me again as soon as I woke up. 

2. My life was over. 

“But you were accepted into NMSU! You were graduating Highschool! You had your whole life ahead of you!!!”

Did anybody ever think for just a second that I didnt want any of that? Honestly! Everybody was so proud. Nobody stopped and asked me if thats what I wanted to do. Because it sure as hell wasnt. I didnt want to go to college. Twelve fucking years of a system that made me kill myself in the Bathroom and you wanted me to do  eight more years?!  I wanted to get married and have babies. But I had to. You understand. I had to. I couldnt be like my sister. I couldnt stay in Highschool forever. I had to go to school because Men are useless now and I couldnt just get married out of highschool because as soon as they leave you’re going to need to take care of yourself! But I didnt want that. I wanted to get married. I wanted to have kids. 

1. Chance left.

Honestly this was it. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I could see it coming though. Yeah, I made fake accounts to try and talk to him. Yeah I was a thirsty hoe (Symptom of BPD btw). Yeah I kind of texted him until right before I did it. I mean I was 18 of course I was obsessed. He cared. He would kiss me goodnight, He would try to get me to eat but I never would. I wanted to be pretty for him. I wanted him to love me. He did for a moment. You know love is like a drug, A drug that makes you happy every day of your life. Even if all you do is fight. Maybe its because I’d never loved anybody before him. Not even my Mother.  When I lost that happy bubbly warmth. I wanted it back. I was so desperate to get it back. I didnt notice. I didnt notice all the terrible things that happened. I looked over all of the mean words, and abusive flags. None of those mattered, as long as I got that feeling of being warm, loved, safe, and protected. Because it made me want to live. If I couldnt live. I wanted to die. I wanted to die and be with that feeling forever. 

Maybe things would have changed if I had realize what a fucking scum bag he was earlier. 

Am I still Suicidal? Yes.

You cant turn it on/off contrary to the belief of everyone around me. I’ve been suicidal since I was a little girl. But will I do it again? I cant promise I wont.  

 Fourteen Reasons why  I want to live. 

14. I’m happy now. 

I dont know if I could consider this as happy as I want to be, I mean Im still single. I have no children. But I’m happy. I dont have all the money in the world but I can go get Starbucks. I can go out and eat If I want to and that makes me so happy. It makes me so happy to have access to food. 

13. I love my apartment. 

I love my apartment. I love everything about it. I do. Except the rent payment lol. I love that I can literally do whatever I want in this little one bedroom place. I love it. I love keeping it clean, I love putting up whatever I want on the walls and I love love love it so much. Im so warm and happy and there is always food here. 

12. I love where I live. 

I love my town. Its big, its bright and i can get whatever I need to. I can go to walmart again whenever I want and I dont have to beg anybody to take me through the drive through or pay anybody to take me to the mall. I can go see movies and see the world. I love the world. I love the grass and the trees and the warmth of the sun. I can sit on my porch for hours, I can watch the rain, I can go outside. I CAN GO OUTSIDE!!!! 

11. I love being free. My freedom is my most precious possession, I don't want to die if I can be free. 

 10. I don't want to die until I find that person. My whole life I've been told There's a soul mate for everyone. When I think about suicide. I think about being dead, in a way, Death was freedom for me. But part of me doesn't want to leave that person alone. I can't. If He was made for me . Then he's like ME and if he is then I don't want to leave him alone. 

9. I have food. 

I know what you’re thinking “Whatever, I have a frozen Dinner in the fridge. Does that make me not suicidal?”

I have food to eat. Like I do. I dont have to scrounge around my house for a packet of Ramen or hiding a can of soup under my bed and praying it would be there when I woke up. I can wake up and eat whatever I want. I can make dinner and sometimes I just stare at all of the food in my refrigerator and smile. 

Side note, It’s now May 12th, school is over. Im trying really hard to finish this. It’s triggering. Like, Hannah Baker, Everything she does. I can see myself in her.  I could deal with the books. I could deal with the books because I had borrowed my friend’s book and typed the alternate ending and stuck it in my book. I visualized it in my own way. Now seeing it. It’s triggering. Did anybody notice? Did anybody try to? 

What about when I did it? Did anybody think? Did anybody try and look after me. I mean nobody noticed me stop eating so I doubt anybody noticed me writing wills in my psychology class, or me writing my suicide note over and over again. 

The final draft only had a few words by the way and nobody read it. 

They didnt even read the instructions I left for them incase I survived and had to go to the hospital which is why I had to wear the same clothes I wore when i did it. Which absolutely sucked. But i was glad I was getting out of the mental hospital, so there’s that. 

I still dont understand why shit like this cant happen in real life. I dont understand how people can make people suffer so much emotionally that they think suicide is the only answer.

This is really hard to write. I have to think of reasons I want to live instead of reasons I want to die. That’s hard. I want to die. Im so sick of this. But I dont want to die. I want to live.  

In a sense, I really feel like Hannah Baker. Because She wanted to live, she wanted life and happiness but she just dies at the end. I wonder if that will happen to me? 

I’ve had people ask me if Im sure I should even be watching a show like this. But I have to. I have to finish it. 

I read the book I know what happens. But I have to finish it for myself. 

8. Kingdom Hearts III will come out (Eventually) 

I have found joy in video games once again. I mean. Ive always loved video games. But I was playing South Park Stick of Truth again and I liked it. I liked it a lot and I wanted to... I wanted to play it so much. 

I’m sure they have video games in heaven but i wonder do they have midnight release parties? Do they have endings that arent perfect?  

Im sure they do. But being alive for them is different. 

Eventually though. Kingdom Hearts III will come out. Eventually.  Ill get to play it. Maybe Ill get to play it with my grandchildren and teach them about Sora, and Kairi, and Riku. 

7. I want to be a Mother. 

Thats all I’ve ever wanted in life. Really. I just want to hold my baby and raise her/him. I dont want them to have to come home and wonder if there’s food to eat, or if the house is going to be warm or when Mom is going to come home.

I want to have children and teach them and give them love and warmth and make them safe and give them everything I never had in life.  Like love, and chances. Chances to make something of themselves in a way I never could. 

6. I want to live to be an annual passholder at Disney 

I mean I’ve been to Disneyland Nineteen times and this summer it will be 20.  But I want to be able to wake up one day, have the day off from work and ask my kids if they want to go to Disneyland instead of school. I want to go there and have a great time and not have to worry about school or work or depression or anything.

5. I really want to do my bucket list. 

I mean there’s lots of cool stuff on it. But I’m sure they have most of that in heaven. But  I want to do it before I die. Like I want to visit Euro Disney in person and hang out in France. I want to walk up and realize I’m going to see the Little Mermaid on Broadway tonight. I want to be able to tell everybody about what I’ve done and inspire them to do the same thing.

(Update: It’s June now. I have to finish it. I had to stop. It was getting bad again. Really bad. I’m ready now. I really am.)

4. I want to get married.

Honestly thats been my life goal since I was a baby. That and being a ballerina but appertanly my dreams dont matter enough for us to stay in a place I could actually achieve them. I want to have a big fancy wedding which will probably dumb down to me getting married at the court house which I am totally fine with. As long as I am officially married and we honeymoon at Disney. 

Jesus Chirst I cant do this. I really cant. I fucking cant. . .  Why? WHY am I here? Why did I live? It’s fucking impossible did you know that? Am I still alive? Am I dead? I wont fucking know! I’m so much happier now! I really am. But I cant do this. I fucking cant. Why? Why am I alive? Why did I live? SO I could pay bills for the rest of my life? I hate being broke. I hate not having any money. I spent 20 dollars today to go out to lunch and that was a luxury. I couldnt afford that. Especially with all these bills. Why? Why is it so expensive to live in a 3rd world country with Iphones? Why? I dont have a car I have to ride the bus everywhere and spend a billion dollars on fucking everything. WHY? Why? I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate having to be mad at myself for going to the mall and spening 11 dollars. ELEVEN FUCKING DOLLARS! I bought a keychain today. I bought a keychain today and I wasnt supposed to do that!  I love my apartment, I love it, I wont leave it unless I’m in a body bag or leaving with my husband, But i dont understand WHY?! Why? Why do they want everything I have? Everybody just wants money. Everything is just money money money money, do I Have enough? WIll it last? Will I be able to do something with it? Why do you want all of my money? I can barley afford to live and everybody wants to make it fucking harder than it already is!!!!!!!!!! I cant do this. I really want to die. But i really want to live. I really want to live. But i cant live. 

3. I want friends. . .

I want best friends. I want the kind of friends where you all can just hang out together and do stupid shit. I want inside joke kind of friends, I want the sort of friends that make fun of you but you know they dont mean it. I want a specific place for us to hang out and laugh and live. 

2. I want to be infinite. 

I dont mean immortal. I mean I want to do things. I want freedom. People have freedom given to them while others have to fight for it. I want to take a roadtrip. I want to eat at gas stations with somebody and travel and see the world. I’ve always wanted to see the world but i’ve been locked up in this FUCKING TOWER for so long and now i’m afraid to get out of it. I am afraid to live because I’ve never been able to live before! Why are people born free when I could not leave my house to get the mail? 

1. I want to experience love. 

I have never loved anybody. For a moment, I thought I loved Chance. But I realized, you cant love somebody who has never loved you. So i didnt love my Mother, or My sisters and brothers or my grandparents. That wasnt love. It was forced affection. Because when you love somebody you make sure they’re in the car before driving away and asking if they are. If you love someone you dont kick them out of your car. If you love somebody you offer to take them home instead of letting them sit in 32 degrees watching their spit freeze, while you let your family treat them like shit just like you did. 

But I want to experience love. All kinds of love. I want to know why people like it so much and why the feeling is so euphoric. I want to be held and treated like I am a treasure. Like I am worth something. 

Is that love? I will find out one day. I want this. Even if its the only thing I will have. I want it. 

~

I’m on the second to last episode now, 

I wonder if the author wanted us to feel bad for people we’ve slut shamed.  I wonder if we’re supposed to think about it that way. 

I dont know about you but I hate fake people who pretend they’ve killed themselves.  I mean I know its a cry for help. But I wish they would go and talk to somebody instead of insisting they sliced their wrists 80 times and got sent to the ER even though their wrists are scarless and havent look liked they were cut ever. 

My therapist once sent me to the ER because I told her I was feeling suicidial. 

I thought that was utter bullshit. 

Because all I had learned to do was lie. 

Why are you suicidal honey? *Sniff* My greAT Gran died and I miss her so much and I wish I could talk to her and hug her. Oh baby it’s gonna be okay, Derek she’s not suicidal get her out of here. 

See? Then at my next therapy session I had to lie to her and tell her I wasnt suicidal. Which was another lie. 

Anybody who has ever asked me about my Great Grandma Elisa knows I hated going to her house and I didnt like her. I’ve never liked her. She was so mean to me. She really was. 

But i cant say I cried crocodile tears at her funeral. Or when They woke me up and told me she wasnt breathing and I knew she was dead, and I cried in my sleep. Something I didnt do, and didnt start doing until it was getting really bad again. 

Isnt that funny though? How i learned to just lie to everybody instead of telling the truth? 

~

I’m on the last episode now. 

I cant make you believe how many times I had to stop this and step away for a moment. 

It was honestly too realistic. 

Like just the things she said 

“I decided to give life one more chance.” 

I remember thinking the exact same thing. 

and watching it blow it. 

Thats always how my emotions have been. 

Hannah is stealing razors now.

I remember the day I bought the sleeping pills specifically to kill myself.

I didnt tell my Mom that. I told her I was having trouble sleeping which was true. 

I remember telling kids I thought I was taking too much.

I remember pouring handfuls into my own hand and just staring at them. I thought they were really pretty.  

I remember sleeping in class because I’d take too many on purpose. 

I remember hanging up on 911 

I remember calling my ex boyfriend. 

I wondered what would happen if he would have answered. I really do. 

Probably nothing, 

I still would have done it. 

I remember swallowing handful after handful. 

I remember being carried to the office and hearing your voice in my head. 

I remember dying and being at peace.

I remember waking up and screaming and crying.

Because honestly. Suicide doesnt hurt. No. aside from me not being able to eat for a couple weeks without throwing up, or choking up tablets everytime I tried to take a pill. 

What hurt was waiting. I waited for life to get better. 

It didn’t.  

Hannah baker is going to slit her wrists,

I’m mad. This isnt the way it happened in the books. She swallowed pills.

ItsnotrealRosemaryitsnotrealItsnotevenhowithappendinthebooks

This is triggering. 

I reserve the right to skip this part.

I cant breathe. 

Okay, Okay. 

I dont fucking get why people say this show glorifies suicide. We are literally watching a girl die. The worst part is this is how actual people have done it. Oh my god. Oh my god there’s so much blood. 

Her parents, Oh my god. Okay that was so fake.

American Horror story did a better job. 

Which is probably why it kept me from killing myself. I watched Violet do it and it scared me. It scared me so I didnt do it. 

You know when I first read the books I guess I was really confused because I thought Mr Porter raped Hannah. I was like in 8th grade. 

Okay so Hannah Baker is still dead. The episode is over. 

How are they going to do season 2? 

I mean Tyler is Obviously going to shoot up the school and Alex tried to off himself. It’s Obvious Alex isnt going to die.  It’s Obvious Tyler isnt going to kill him. 

~

I liked watching this. 

I mean aside from it taking me two months to finish because,  well it kind of was triggering.

Side note:

I am not contemplating suicide please do not message me or call the cops. 

Also for anybody who is. 

National Suicide Prevention LifelineCall 

1-800-273-8255

[lovelesswiki]

Post-Moonless predictions— Rematch (1/10)

[start] --> next part

for the last week or so, i’ve been talking about a large theory i’ve been writing. since finishing it, i’ve decided to publish it in parts, since it’s actually about 10 different theories all on one subject. since it’s all written out, i’ll try to be publishing one part of this per day.

essentially, this is a set of theories about what i believe will have to happen in order to properly lead up to a climax--the one we’ve been building up to for years and years now. so, these are what i theorize will happen after the first moonless vs beloved battle, broken up into ten different parts. each theory is explained and theres images for each one.

table of contents (bolded is the post you’re looking at):

moonless and beloved will rematch (1)

soubi will fall into a deep depression and possibly become suicidal (2)

ritsuka will arrive at seven voices, SM’s activity will be revealed (3)

SM will reveal that there was a mole in their organization (4)

kio will be the one to take ritsuka to goura (5)

ritsuka will find things out about soubi and the aoyagi family (6)

SM’s true purpose will be revealed. ritsuka will have to make a decision about good vs evil (7)

seventh SM member will be revealed (8)

nagisa will find out what really happened to sanae (9)

ritsuka will be asked to join SM to fill the aoyagi seat (10)

Theory: moonless and beloved will have to rematch. this will be the point of climax during the story. i know that a rematch will happen because the timelines between soubi and ritsuka will need to match up at some point and are currently out of sync. explanation below.

this is something i am 100% certain of, for multiple reasons.

first, mikado and tokino heavily imply that they want a rematch. they seem to be very determined to do what they set their goals to, and i dont doubt that this is one of those things. if they want a rematch, there will most likely be a rematch, plain and simple.

they havent done what they set out to do in the first place. their goal as a team is to take down seimei. mikado’s professional goal is to take out seimei. tokino’s goal is to defeat beloved. none of those goals have been achieved yet and because of that, tokino is the first to suggest a rematch.

(mikado smiles and seems to agree. it’s not even implied. they want another go and i doubt that seimei would turn down a fight when mikado seems to be his greatest and most tangible obstacle right now.)

second, most fans seem to think that the climax of the story--or at least of this arc--will be ritsuka running into the beloved trio, and the only way this makes sense during the story is if it’s in a battle. it would be incredibly anticlimactic if he didnt interrupt a battle, so it doesn’t make sense storytelling-wise that ritsuka would just show up at the place seimei is staying and take soubi back. we’re very obviously building up to a huge confrontation between ritsuka and seimei, and i believe at this confrontation, both soubi and nisei have to be there, as well as moonless.

yun has also stated that the climax of the story would involve soubi having the realization of ‘it does matter’ and making a choice about something and deciding what he wants and what he wants to do. given what has taken place recently story-wise, i get the sense that we’re approaching that point very, very quickly. ill be expanding more on what i think the climax and the realization of ‘it does matter’ means for soubi in the next post in this series, but the takeaway for now that the climax (or the first of many) seems to be approaching very quickly.

(2006ish interview with yun kouga. i’ll be editing and uploading this soon so people can see the interview entirely)

a rematch also makes complete sense in the timeline. ill be making another post on this, but a lot of people don’t realize that after soubi is taken from ritsuka their scenes are not temporally in sync with each other. if we take the main event, the moonless battle, as the ‘current’ timeline, then everything that’s happening with ritsuka is a flash-forward. how do i know this? there’s a lot of reasons:

at the point that seimei and soubi leave for the moonless battle, soubi has only been at the house for 1-3 days. nakahira tells soubi ’you came in late at night’ and soubi refuses to eat during his entire stay, so it could not have been long. furthermore, when moonless captures nisei just before seimei and soubi’s arrival, nisei is listening to ritsuka crying in his room, something that ritsuka stops doing in his timeline after a few days. the argument that soubi has only been there for 24 hours or less could also be made, since both seimei and nisei are shown in the same clothing that they were in during the graveyard scene. soubi is, too, but this is unreliable since soubi refuses to even get up off the couch at the house.

(this actually seems to support the theory that soubi has been at the house for 24 hours or less)

on ritsuka’s side of things, a lot has happened. ritsuka has had enough time to fall back into a horrible depression that he’s shown to stay in for a few days, slightly come out of this depression, make up his mind about finding seimei multiple times, go through seimei’s things with the zeroes, go back to school, play tennis with his friends, and make up his mind yet again. even more than this, natsuo has had enough time to travel to see yamato, travel 8 hours to goura, travel 8 hours back, and travel back to the place he and youji live at soubi’s apartment. that trip alone is 3-4 days, maybe more, and natsuo is seen spending multiple days before and after the trip with ritsuka and youji. and still, through all of this, ritsuka hasn’t even left to attempt to find his brother.

so, on top of what he’s already done, ritsuka has a lot more to get done before he can actually go and find soubi. most of this series of theories will focus on that, since soubi’s storyline currently really only has one purpose, which we’ll get to in the next part of this. 

soubi’s timeline takes place over a course of 1-3 days, but ritsuka’s timeline takes place over a course of 1-3 weeks. they are not at all in sync, and there’s no way they can be. none of this even accounts for the time it takes to find soubi and seimei. because of all this, a rematch makes complete sense, because beloved and moonless both need the upcoming few weeks/month to figure out another plan that will surely end things, and they both need the time to find each other again. im very certain that there will be a rematch, because not even soubi running away makes sense temporally, since something would’ve happened that ritsuka would’ve caught wind of had he run away. 

[nodaudaboutitt]

for the get to know the blogger thing: even numbers in the 130 range

OH Boy, this is gunna be a long one

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned?

I have a shirt of a lady wearing a panda mask, it looks really nice and im actually wearing it right now ahaha, also really like my star wars X-Wing hoodie :D4. What does your perfect room look like?

Im not really sure tbh, although it would be nice if there was a little more space and better lighting than my room has. Would love to get some small plants and stuff and some owl related cushions or something6. What fictional place would you like to visit?

Would be interesting to visit Dunwall from Dishonored or one of the many planets in Star Wars, would love to go see a Podrace or something!8. When was the last time you climbed a tree?

2014, its the same time i fell out of a tree and broke my collarbone ahaha10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have?

I check my phone way too much which is kinda annoying to me, although my dad gets really annoyed that i bounce my legs ahaha12. What skill would you like to master?

It would be rad to master a language (Although im on my way to that) or maybe my skating or art14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?

Honestly i would probably just buy a cozy apartment and get a cat or something, ive never really thought about such before16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?Havent actually got anywhere i would never want to go back to yet 18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in?

As cool as the Metro games are, not that one ahaha. maybe the world of Star Trek or something :D20. Are you usually early or late?

Im usually quite early tbh 22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with?

Not really sure tbh, i cant remember, although people occasionally ask me about assignments or such so there that24. What do you wish you knew more about?

Well cos im finding programming a tad tricky at uni, i would say that, but tbh i would love to know more about astrophysics or anything related to rocketry and piloting !26. What are some small things that make your day better?

A cup of tea in my favourite mug, someone complimenting how i look, my dog saying hi when i get home 28. What’s the best way to start the day?

By slamming my face into the pillow and going back to sleep ahaha, nah i think a relaxed morning with some tea and a nice breakfast or something

30. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

Would be cool to have a channel for all the space exploration stuff, lunno if it would be widely popular or not but i would love to see such 32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently?

Im not really sure tbh 34. What’s your ideal way to spend a weekend?

My ideal weekend is to laze about at home and play videogames, bake some stuff or work on some art. I just feel really comfy at home so being able to relax at home all weekend sounds ideal to me36. What is your claim to fame?

Im not really sure if i have one?38. What’s your favorite book or movie genre?

I really dig science fiction, although with movies i also like the action genre :D40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of?

I couldnt think of anything people havent really heard of but i really enjoy reading about early nasa, so stuff like the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo programs44. What’s the best book series or TV series you’ve ever read or watched?

I think at the moment, the best Tv series for me is Band of Brothers46. What’s the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen?

Those videos of people meeting family or friends in the airport that live really far away, everyone is so happy in those and its really nice :D48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation?

I could probably give a presentation on ww2 or the moon missions, not 100% accurate or super detailed but yeah, well that or the Lore of various games and movies i like50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Travel, just seeing somewhere new, the journey and exploration involved, its really cool :D52. What’s your dream car?absolutely no clue54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don’t get?

Game of Thrones, that new show on netflix56. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been?When i lived in England i went to the transport museum and also the various imperial war museums, those were absolutely fantastic. Over here in straya though? probably the top of sydney harbour bridge, that was pretty gnarly58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week?

Well i just got my grade back for my programming assignment and i got 70% :D60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have?

Im not sure, although at the moment im studying game design at uni so i would probably go for that anyway ahaAlthough if there was an opportunity it would be cool to become an astronaut or ww2 historian62. How different was your life 1 year ago?

Well i couldnt ice skate, i wasnt doing a degree, i think i was in  somewhat crappier state than i am now. But things have been improving over the last few years :)64. What would you rate 10/10?

Ahh im not good at rating or ranking anything, i guess the new star wars? (Rogue one)66. What is the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen?

Im not really sure, i dont think ive been to see art in ages, although i really like the art my friend @echey does! its super awesome stuff!68. What do you hope never changes?

My ability to find good in a bad situation70. What movie title best describes your life?I cant even think of one tbh72. What’s the best way a person can spend their time?Just do what you enjoy i guess74. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been?

Botanical gardens in adelaide are really nice, dont go there too often but theyre relaxing as heck76. Where would you rather be from?

As much as i talk shit about england, i dont think id want to be from anywhere else78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months?New alien movie, end of first semester, turn 20 next month, Dunkirk movie, lots of cool stuff :D80. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford?Either a trip overseas or all those games that i have on my wishlist rn82. Where would you spend all your time if you could?Im not sure tbh, i guess anywhere i feel comfortable?84. What age do you want to live to?ahh thats a tough one, i guess in my 20′s? 86. What are you absolutely determined to do?

Get through my degree and get a job in my chosen field88. What do you wish you knew more about?theres so much i wish i knew more about ;-;90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person??? iunno dude92. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?iunno? any compliment is nice to me :D94. Who inspires you to be better?nothing comes to mind but im sure theres someone :/96. What haven’t you grown out of?my favourite tshirt ahaha 98. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well?no bloody clue but im sure it was absolutely stupid aha100. What’s something you will never do again?climb a tree and break my collarbone102. What keeps you up at night?my messed up sleep schedule mainly, although those weird night time depressed moods get ya too 104. What is the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?probably underage drinking106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?a worthless shithead108. What do you look down on people for?being absolute wankers, although in my degree the thing i really look down on is those people that are like “How did you not get that? its easy!” or generally act like a know it all and give you shit over coding, like chill out lads and help each other110. What lie do you tell most often?im fine, im not tired, im used to it, ill be fine,  couldnt think of one so heres the top ones i can think off112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?Can buy what you want, but worst thing is that the older you get, the more youre looked down on for being unemployed114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it?probably a kickass dragon!!116. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned?

Don’t procrastinate/ set your deadline a day or two early and start early so if you do procrastinate, it would fuck you up as bad118. What are you famous for among your friends & family?I think with friends im mostly famous for random history (Mainly ww2) facts and at home im mostly known for my shitty humour i think ahaha120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn’t have?122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self?Don’t give a shit about what others might think, just do what makes you happy and be how you feel you should124. What’s the best thing about you?My terrible humour, my optimism 126. Have you ever saved someone’s life?Who knows?128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like?Like a reverse image of me? nah ahaha probably a massive asshole, but at the same time theyre probably putting them self first and their happiness so iunno130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it?Got a massive scar over my right collarbone, had to get surgery on it when i broke it and so now ive got a metal plate in my body aha

thank you for the ask!!

[ggiame]

all the stuff under the cut

Everything is wrong at the moment, its 70 degrees in february, DT is president, and everything just seems transitional and out of place and temporary. I have 6 jobs right now. im working all the time and yet theres no money. i dont know. just having one of those weird surreal chunks of weeks that im trying to capture with a long text post on a public forum. here we go. 

(heads up, me and my therapist named and externalized my anxiety into a character I call ‘chanel’ after the terrible ex and I quote her for clarities sake when ‘quoting’ my anxiety. so yeah. thats who chanel is)

money:

none, somehow. 

work:

float sixty, leghorn chicken, aloft reception, pole teaching, online tutor, property manager, and also segway is coming back and also maybe still street performing? dude. 

okay highlights version

F60: my boss is Lia, a White Lady who used to work in the beauty industry and is On. a. Diet. She is neurotic and perfectionistic but also a weird hippie which is an odd combination of traits i happen to understand well so we get along nicely. She likes me and I like her. All of my co workers seem cool. Also There is a Cute Boy there who i know next to nothing about.

LH: wow okay its food service but i really like my co workers and also the food is decent but not addicting and i do make some tips. Im making friends there the fastest but its also the job im least attached to. conflicting feelings. 

Prop Man: oh my god. rats. broken washing machines. broken stoves. intrigue. sabotage. tune in sundays at 8/7c

My family was joking yesterday that i have the “Karlin Family Work Ethic” and that i was doing too much but somehow i still feel like a lazy, useless, slug who should really just work a little harder. Weird. 

The injury-----

The elbow is healing relatively fast. it still feels like a year and a day since i last climbed a rope. its probably two weeks out from being -mostly- functional. right now its int htat good enough for life but not for circus zone. Also now im kinda scared of going back up a rope. which is. not. good. but ill deal with when i get there. fear is the worst. ugh. 

FeElings-------------

Okay theres a lot of relationship feelings stirring around in my life despite the fact that i have no significant other and here’s why. 

boys: 

east coast boy- just as bad at keeping in itstouch as I am. is still wonderful. but its been so long theres really only echoes left. 

west coast boy: all that weird buildup for an extremely short lived fling that did next to nothing to release all that pent up wierdness. it continues. This boy is much better at keeping in contact.  its getting harder for me to keep talking to him as it gets clearer that neither of us is going anywhere soon. 

work boy: cute, seems cool, but i have no idea who he is at all. 

tinder boy: i like him a lot, but im not attracted to him yet and i dont want to do that to another person. also can i make myself be attracted to someone? thats playing with too many things. no answers yet. needs more pondering. 

Other work boy: Chanel  “he did not come to the diner with you on valentines day. has not liked any of your social media posts. probably hates you and also thinks youre ugly. its okay you probably wont see him for another two months.”

Girls and others:

Theres a couple straight girls im into and we all know how that goes. They have boyfriends. it sucks. 

the circus one:i havent seen this person in a frustratingly long time. dammit. 

also im still afraid of flirting with girls because of Amber Chanel B. the Ex from Hell. which is super awesome. 

not. 

The Room Mate:

1) is mysterious and doesnt say much

2) is clearly in a bad mood a lot. cause shes working sleeping or working out and never gets a second to herself. 

3) which totally means that shes mad AT ME ALL THE TIME 

4) and she has taken this super central place in my anxiety tornado which I am now worried that she is aware of and annoyed by. which is also part of the tornado. yeah. 

The pot: 

wow i started to get into serious problem territory this past month and i felt it building up to the moment. which happened a few days ago. i came to this conclusion

- I have the capabilities of controling and being responsible with my drug usage but my situation right now is making that difficult. The next time i end up on solid emotional ground ill stop until the cravings go away.- 

and here i am. the good weather is helping a lot and i finally felt ready to cut myself off for a while, so i smoked it all and now im out and well see how this goes. 

Bonus---Musings on hunger and stuff-----

So body talk. 

Ive been injured and unable to exercise the way i like

ive taken a job in a fried chicken place. 

so yeah i have some weight gain and acne and loss of muscle tone and its making my body image issues flare up. So ive been doing okay and I havent made myself vomit but I have been eating noticeably less and ive started to just kinda let myself be hungry more which is something i had forgotten about. 

and then i was thinking about it and I realize that im part of this weird subgroup of extremely priveleged people who also know what its like not to eat for 3 days at a time, or what its like to eat less than a thousand calories a day for more that a month, and that I got complimented for what that did to me. I would sleep through classes and almost pass out when i stood up all the time but i weighted 105 pounds and everyone said i looked great.  its a weird thing especially cause it was never really about how I looked, and was entirely about trying to control myself when i have needs that are at odds with my situation. 

Then i thought about last year when i was training so much that my body could not get enough food, but my anxiety and depression were at such a place that I could barely eat, and the way that kind of hunger was different. I had never vomited from hunger before but I got to find out what that was like. That was where the weed problem really started btw cause if I hadnt had pot last year I would not have eaten at all and would probably be dead. Having anxiety so bad that your stomach clenching makes you nauseous and then you get nauseous with hunger on top of that and then you have to fly to ankansas to be at your fav cousins wedding and manage to pull it off and not be a zombie. whew. 

Also I would like to thank lin manuel miranda because (along with pot) Hamilton is what got me through that experience. 

yeah.  

thats all for now. 

[youalready2do]

Micheal Cho FAILED WORLD MISERABLY. ME WHAT A PEICE OF SHIT!

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO CHANGE, HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING ME COMPUTER THAT HE AND “HIS” TEAM, USED TO CAUSE NATURAL DISASTERS, GIVE SYMPTOMS OF CORONA VIRUS VIA SATELLITE, EVEN DEATH, THEY CAUSED NATURAL DISASTERS, MAN MADE DISASTERS, HE WAS SUPPOSED TO GET ME WORLDWIDE CREDIT, HE WAS TO ENSURE NOTORIETY FOR BEING VOTED BEST COP IN WORLD, PAY ME 3 MONEY TRUCKS FULL OF MONEY! ( I don’t mind sharing. Break banks open Cho, let money fly in streets, You already robbed them digitally, A News Station Portable, Radio Station, Sound National Alarm. Instead you pretend I’m your wife and your butt buddy and copper crotch wife’s wife too, fat and stinky pussy! You got my son STOLEN TECHNICALLY AFTER YOU MADE HIM ROBOTIC, BREAK LAW WHEN WE NEED TO EVACUATE, YOU THREATEN TO KILL MY KIDS, YOU SAID YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND, I NEVER GOT TO MAKE LOVE TO YET SO HEATHEN STIFF RUBBERKNECKER, YOUR WIFE CAN HAVE HIM, AND YOU ALL WANT TO RAPE AND KILL ME, AND THE PEOPLE I LOVE. FUCK THAT! YOU ACT LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT, YOUR NOT EVEN FROM OUR COUNTRY AND YOU FUCKING COME IN HERE, KILL ALMOST EVERYONE IN 6 COUNTRIES HERE, AND TRANS SON SAID ITS 16 COUNTRIES, TRY TO RETEND YOUR PUTTING YOUR GROSS DICK IN MY PUSSY, MY KIDS, YOU RAPED MY MOM AND DAD, BEAT UP MY SON, OR GOT HIM BEAT UP AND STOLEN ROBOTICALLY REPETITIVELY, I HAVE A HUSBAND REMEMBER, YOU FOUND HIM FOR ME, INSISTED I HAVE ONE SO YOU COULD FIND ME MY “PERFECT TYPE OF GUY”, HEN WHEN WE FALL IN LOVE YOU FORCED US (AND OTHERS) TO DO THINGS WE DON’T WANT TO, SEX W/ PEOPLE WE DONT WANT TO. JUST TO RUIN EVERYONES LIVES YOU COME ACCROSS OR YOU KILLED THEM OUT OF THIER ASSETTS, AND KIDS, SO YOU CAN SELL THEM, RAPE THEM, YOU AND THE TRANS, AND MR. KIM. YOU WERE TOLD TO RESPECT ME, OH FAIL YOUR FAMILY MISERABLY AND YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT ME. IM THE ONE WHO DID WONDERFUL AMAZING THINGS, AND YOUR WIFE, HEATHEN STIFF RUBBERKNECKER, SAID NO ONE WILL KNOW THE AMAZING THINGS YOUVE DONE, YOU TOLD ME, ID NEVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KIDS, YOU PLAN TO DROP US IN WATER, LEAVE US WITH NO POWER, OR PLANES, YOU TOLD PEOPLE IF THEY HELP ME, YOU’D KILL THEM. YOU AND TRAN SAID HE’S GOING TO CUT MY KIDS HEADS OFF, AND RAPE THEM. FUCK THAT! YOU KEPT ME AWAY FROM MY KIDS AND HAD MY SISTER PUNISH MY SON IF HE TALKED TO ME 7 YEARS 4 MONTHS AGO, MY SON ALWAYS GOT STRAIT A’S AND B’S THROUGH SCHOOL AND HAD A JOB ALREADY THAT HE WAS FORCED TO QUIT BOTH, F’S DUE TO TORCHER OF MIND YOU GAVE HIM WITH YOUR 3 STOOGES. YOU PICKED FIGHTS THROUGH HIM AND OTHERS IN MY FAMILY SO HE’D HAVE NO PLACE TO LIVE, AND TOLD HIM TO MOVE ONTO STREETS WITH ME, YOU TOLD ME TO DREAM BIG, AND I DID, YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR KEEPING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ALIVE, AND INSTEAD YOU REPETITIVELY MADE ME RELIVE THIER MURDERS WITH SATELLITE TECHNOLOGY THAT IS IN VIVID MOVIE LIKE FORM IN OUR BRAINS, YOU MADE MY SON SAY FOR ATLEAST A YEAR HE’S A MURDERER, OR HOWEVER MANY, AND ME, I FOUND 3 NEW WITNESSES 2 YESTERDAY AND ONE TODAY THAT THEY HEARD YOU GUYS IN THIER EARS TOO. MAKING THEM DO THINGS THEY DONT WANT TO DO TOO. MADE HIM STAY WITH MY SISTER WHO HAS LIKE 9 PERSONALITIES DUE TO COMPUTER YOU ABUSE. IM TIRED OF THE 2ND STUPID, STUTTERING TERRORIST, BITCH THAT YOU ARE, FUCKING UP MY VIDEO STATEMENTS, FLAPPING YOUR LIPS WHEN I TALK SO I HEAR YOU IN MY EAR SAY THE SAME THINGS I DO AT THE SAME TIME, YOU SWEAR AT MY SON THROUGH ME WHEN IM TALKING TO HIM, YOU HUMILIATE MY SON AND I REPETITIVELY, MAKING US USE RESTROOM OUTSIDE, LITTERALLY BANNING ME FROM MOST EVERY STORE OF ANYKIND. AGAIN, YOU MADE PORN OF ME AND MY SON BOTH WITHOUT ANY CONSENT OF OURS. YOU MAKE HIM WALK BEHIND A BUSH TO ROBOTICALLY PLAY WITH HIS PENIS AND HE’S TALLER THAN IT. WHEN YOU CALLED COPS ON PURPOSE TO COME, YOU MAKE HIM WHOP OUT HIS DICK IN ANY PUBLIC PLACE TO PEE. YOU MADE HIM STEAL GUN CLIPS FOR A GUN YOU PREMEDITATED FOR 5 OR 6 YEARS SO YOU CAN FORCE HIM TO KILL OUR FAMILY AND/OR HIMSELF. YOU BEAT UP MY WONDERFUL SON, YOU MADE HIM BUY ZANEX AND TAKE THEM TO ALMOST OVERDOSING POINT ON 90 DEGREE WEATHER DAY, ESPECIALLY WITH THE SWEATSHIRT YOU MADE HIM LEAVE ON, YOUVE TOLD HIM FOR YEARS I DONT LOVE HIM ANYMORE, HUGEST LIE EVER, IVE HAD LIKE 5 DAYS OFF IN 7 YEARS 4 MONTHS AND I STUDIED EXTREAMLY HARD THE MASON’S . YOU PLANNED ON KILLING US FROM BEGINNING AND STOLE OUR LOVE, YOU FORCE ME AND MY SON TO BE DIRTY, BEG FOR FOOD AS I INVESTIGATED TERRORISTS OF SECRET SOCIETY, YOU USED US AS HUMAN EXPERIMENTS WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION, MADE ME AND MY SON BE PUT INTO MENTAL HOSPITALS, AND JAILS, UOU FORCED FELONY CHARGES ON US SO WE WOULDNT BE ABLE TO STEAL CARS OR GET INTO A HOUSE FOR SAFETY EITHER WAY WHEN THE TIME CAME AND WE WOULD NEED TO ESCAPE OR HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE, YOU MAKE US THINK OUR LOVED ONES ARE DEAD, DID YOU KILL ALL 17 YEAR OLDS IN THE WORLD, ONLY 17 YEAR OLDS DONT GET STIMULOUS, YOUR THREATENING OUR LOVED ONES NOW AND YOUVE BEEN TOLD OF REQUIREMENTS NOT TO KILL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, IVER AND OVER THAT YOU NEED TO RESPECT ME! AND YOU ACT LIKE A STUPID BITCH. YOUR FIRED OFF THAT FUCKING COMPUTER AND YOU GET NO WIFI. I DEMAND THAT YOUR EXECUTED FOR THE THINGS THAT YOU DID, AND DO. YOUVE HAD MY SON WALKING ON STREETS YEARS AGO AND YOU MAKE HIM DEPRESSED, VIOLENT VIA SATELLITE. MY SON HAS NEVER EVER SEEN VIOLENCE, FUCKING BITCH, YOUR THE ONE THAT MADE HIS DAD PUSH HIM AGAINST A STONE BRICK WALL AT AGE 10. YOU HAD MY EX’S ROBOTICALLY BEAT ME UP AND CHEAT ON ME OR LEAVE. YOU THREATENED TO KILL EVERYONE’S MOM’S IF WE DONT CHEAT ON THE PERSON WE LOVE BEFORE WERE EVEN TOGETHER, KEPT ME AND MY NEW HUSBAND APART OBVIOUS TRUE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT, TOLD ME, SO I NOTICED YOU TELL ORHERS SAME THINGS, SO I ASSUME YOU TOLD MY SON AND EVERYONE ELSE THEY HAVE TO FUCK A DEAD PERSON TO SAVE OUR FAMILIES EVEN THE WORLD, PRETENDED YOUR MY HUSBAND TO CLAIM (WELL EVERYONES MINEY) REMEDITATED MURDER ON WHOLE WORLD THEN FOR YOU, DEATH PENALTY VIA SATELLITE. YOU PLAYED SAME GAME WHEN YOU FORCED STRICKLIN AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY, WOULDNT LET HIM SEE OR TALK TO ME 6 YEARS, MY BEST ALLIE TO SAVE WORLD, YOU SET UP OUR PRESIDENT, SO YOU COULD MAKE HIM YOUR HUMAN PUPPET LIKE MY SON AND MANY MANY OTHERS! THEYRE STUCK IN THIER OWN BODIES UNABLE TO EXPRESS THIER OWN FEELINGS, EMBARRASSED MY SON, ALLIENATED HIM FROM SOCIETY, 17 AND A HALF YOU HAVENT ALLOWED HIM A REGULAR ENOUGH LIFE TO GET A GIRLFRIEND YET, SO HE’S A VIRGIN AND YOU WANTED TO SET HIM UP WITH BLACK WIDOW AND MY HUSBAND. YOU MADE MY FRIENDS FUCK HOOKERS YOU MAY HAVE GIVEN AIDS TO ON PURPOSE, AND YOU PRETEND YOU FOUND THE CURE, YEAH RITE, YOU MADE THEM HAVE SEX WITH PEOPLE, (YOU SAID YOU PAID THEM FOR THIS, YOU HAD MY HUSBAND RAPED THEN AND MADE HIM CRY. STRICKLAND,TOO AND YOU ALLEGEDLY SENT OUT HIS WIFE, MY SON IS IN JAIL BECAUSE YOU HATE THAT I LOVE HIM, I SURE HOPE YOU DIDNT HAVE HIM KILLED WHEN HE WAS TAKEN TO JAIL LIKE 5-6 FAYS AGO, BECAUSE UOUR BRAINWASHING AND MIND TORCHER BRAGGED YOU KILLED MY KIDS AND CUT OFF THIER HEADS, THAT’S FUCKED UP, I HAD AN OFFICER FROM MPD CALL THE NEXT MORNING, ALLEGEDLY HE’S THERE. YOU RAISED HOS BAIL TO $500.00?FROM $ 200.00, NOW YOU OBVIOUSLY WONT LET DAVE CONNELL BAIL HIM OUT OF JAIL WHEN HE NEEDS ME MOST, AND YOU THREATENED TO KILL DAVE AND HIS GRAND DAUGHTER. YOU THREATENED ME THAT YOUR GOING TO CUT OFF MY SON’S DICK, SO DAMN STRAIT I TOLD YOU SAME THING, THATS WHAT YOU WANTED TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD. YOU THREATENED THIS TO STRICKLIN AND MR. ASHBACK WHO’S MY NEW HUSBAND. YOU HELD 4 OFFICERS THAT KNOW OF IN MARYSVILLE JAIL, POSING AS WORKERS, MY LONG LOST NEPHEWS HOSTAGE IN KITTITAS COUNTY JAIL WITH MY HUSBAND AND OUR NEW FAMILY. AND FRIENDS FROM SCHOOL. YOU TOLD MY SON ME AND HIS DAD ARE DEAD, AND THAT YOU KILLED HIS FRIENDS. YOU CLONED US. AND SAID ID HAVE TO PICK REAL ONE OF 27 OF STRICKLIN TO SAVE HIM, HOW MANY CLONES DID YOU MAKE OF MY KIDS, YOU TRIED TO TELL ME, YOU SWITCHED MY SON NUMEROUS TIMES, THATS A FUCKING LIE. YOU SEND PEOPLE TO PICK FIGHTS WITH ME AND MY SON, YOU MADE ME SHIT MY PANTS AND PISS THEM ON Q. YOU SENT WEIRD PEOPLE ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT TO THREATEN MY LIFE OR TRAT ME LIKE IM THIER BITCH FIRST MINUTE WE MEET, AND TALK SHIT TO ME. THAT SHIT DOESNT FLY UR A FUCKIND DUMB ASS DUDE, YOU EANT RESPECT BUT YOU GIVE NONE, YOU WANTED TO GIVE ME AND MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS MOTERHOMES AND OR CARS TO FLY LOW FAST AND CRASH LIKE UOU SAID YOU MADE COPS DO! WITNESSES OF YOUR MIND TORCHER, AND YOU MADE-THEM KILL AND RAPE PROPLETaxi GUYS, DICKS TOWING AND HARRY’S TOWING TRUCK DRIVERS TOO, YOU MADE THEM PARTICIPATE WITH THE FIREMEN TO CLEAN UP MURDER SCENES ETC. YOU FORCED ME TO HAVE NO LOVE FOR YEARS AND PRETENDED YOUR DEMANDS ARE GOING TO FLY ON YOU AND YOUR BUTT BUDDIES STICKING YOUR DICKS IN ME OR MY KIDS AND THIER FRIENDS THAT YOU USE TO FUCK DEAD PEOPLE AND GOATS WITH, GROSS, I HEARD YOU FUCK YOUR OWN DAUGHTER, AS YOU AND OR STUBBBLEBINE MADE ALEX WRITE ON HIS PANTS THAT IM HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE, AND THAT HES BEEN RAPED, ON HIS PANTS, IN WRITING LIKE ILL SUBMIT AS EVIDENCE, PICTURES OF MURALS THAT TELL OF MURDER, RAPE, SLAVERY, ME, MY HUSBANDS NAMES MY KIDS EVEN MY GRANDMA’S MURDER PLOT I FOUND IN SMOKEY POINT. YOU SHOOT PEOPLE AND RAN CHAIN SAWS AT NIGHT KILLING PEOPLE FOR ATLEAST A YEAR EVERY NIGHT I WASNT IN JAIL, YOU HAD ME DOING LIKE ALMOST 5 YEARS IN JAIL, NOW YOUR THROWING MU SON IN JAIL, I HAD TO CALL COPS TO SAVE MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS FROM THE ROBOTIC MURDER PLOT YOU PREMEDITATED ON MY FAMILY. YOU SHOOT BUS DRIVERS DO WE MIGHT ONE DAY GET STUCK SIMEWHERE WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING WISH WE WERE LEAVING WITH YOU YOU FUCKING PEICE OF SHIT! FUCK THAT RIDDLE HIM WITH BULLETS IN EVERY COUNTRY. HE GETS A HARD ON BY PLAYINF ROLE OF STUPID BITCH IN MORONIC, MASONIC, RETARD, RELAY OLYMPICS OF DIAREAH OF THE FACE. YOU FUCKING WANTED MY SON TO CHOKE ON MY TAMPONS I PUT DOWN WATER DRAINS TO KEEP AWAY FROM YOU. YOU GAVE MY NEPHEW D.J. A BAD HEART VIA SATELLITE. YOU GAVE JEFFREY MY OTHER NEPHEW LUKEMIA VIA SATELLITE TOO, YOU GAVE MY SON DIABETIES VIACSATELLITE, WONT LET HIM EAT, AT TIMES, LET ALONE EAT HEALTHY. UOU FORCE A BINCH OF SUGAR IN HIM LIKE CANDY POP ETC. YOU SENT STRICKLINS WIFE OUT ON STREETS ALLEGEDLY AND FORCED HIM TO CHEAT. DID YOU KILL ALL OF OUR COP FRIENDS FROM MPD AND EVERETT JAIL? ALL MY KIDS FRIENDS, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THEY ARE TO BE TOP PRIORITY, AS MICHEAL CHO, YOU ALSO GOT SCHOOLED ALONG THE WAY, AND YOU

[drashleighreid]

If you have the time, do all you haven’t done!

omfg! haha okay holy shit

Alisons: Sexuality?

lesbonym

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

She/her

Amaryllis: birthday?

nov 4th! 

Anemone: Favorite flower?

sunflowers and port wine magnolias for their scent and peonies! 

Angelonia: Favorite tv show?

id say favorite of recent would be big little lies 

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

i don’t know i guess it depends on the situation. i find myself agreeing to do things for strangers for some reason like one time i took an acting workshop and i literally drove three people home afterwards even though they didnt live anywhere near me and i didnt know them at all lkjsf

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

i dont drink much else but water usually lol. i like cold brew coffee and iced tea too. and lemon ginger tea. alcohol-wise i love gin and tonics, red wine, and old-fashioneds 

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no but i said that the time before too LMAO 

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? 

im not sure. i’ve felt really strong feelings for people in the past but i don’t think it’s ever been mutual so i guess not 

Baneberries: Favorite song? 

god i don’t know if i can do a favorite of all time. i recently played this video game Submerged and it was a really cleansing and wholesome time and I’ve been listening to the orchestral score of that a lot since. any lana del rey song, get free - major lazer hits me in my toner tbh, the jazz standard stardust - there are so many versions i adore idk its too hard to pick ill just end up listing my whole spotify soon i dont really have all time favorites i just go thru waves Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my mum runs a childcare business, my nan works at a post office, my brother is an IT guy my sister in law is a hairdresser and i have two young nieces who are in 1st and 2nd grade. they all live in my hometown which is kinda far from me. my dad passed away a few years ago but he owned a flower farm. my parents separated when i was in 2nd grade but i spent every holidays with my dad. i have looooooots of cousins lol 

Beebalm: do you have a best friend? Who is it?

i dont really do the hierarchy thing ! but i have a few. my friends jess and rach from here are my fave people ever and literally make me cry with laughter when we all hang out and my friend meg who i’ve known since 8th grade is my vegan salad club soul sister and i love her to death 

Bellflower: favorite animal

dogs and toucans ! lov birbs 

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night! 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

that i dont understand how i didnt get the maternal gene when my mum literally looks after children for a living slkjsdf. im not opposed to having one someday but not for a while and i think id honestly be content either way 

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

small spaces/being trapped which i dont know? ive just always had some level of claustrophobia i dont know where it came from 

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

probably stressed LMAO. idk hanging out with loved ones eating good food trying to do a bunch of things i’ve always wanted to do

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

in a committed relationship with a body pillow and my vibrator 

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when i can speak openly and be vulnerable comfortably. when people tell me they care about me and value my presence 

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

2x each ear and one cartilage 

California Poppy: Height?

5′6

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

a cute grey nightgown lol *+*

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

im sure i did when i was younger but now light kind of bothers me when im trying to sleep

Chrysanthemum: who was the last person you kissed?

my friend when we were drunk

Cock’s Comb: favorite font?

i dont think i really have one lol

Columbine: Are you tired?

im kinda like comfy sleepy. its pouring rain and a cool breeze is coming through my window and im really cozy so its just like. nice. 

Coneflower: Dream job?

scriptwriter/director 

Crane’s-bill: Introvert or extrovert?

im an introvert

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

im fiercely loyal to those i love. 

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

scorpio babeeeeey

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

hmm. in what scheme lol. of the world? probably not yet but we’re working on it.

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

idk if its an accomplishment but my travels are probably the highlight of my life to me. im kind of always fearless when i travel lol and i love that for me 

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i dont know. i like to think im good at talking people through things and being empathetic and giving advice. i try my best to be there for people 

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

letting things go. not bottling things up. 

Freesia: what are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i finished school for the semester ! i started a painting! i saw two cool theatre shows. 

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

actually pretty good!

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

not really but i’m starting to see the potential in the future a lot more. i tend to get really stuck and struggle to see beyond my current situation but i’m trying to look forward and realise that things are going to get a lot better with time 

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

direct a short film i’m happy with, write more, travel overseas, cultivate a close group of friends here, go back to singing lessons.

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

watching youtube videos ! jenna and julien and remi cruz are my favorites they just make me feel so positive. listening to podcasts especially my dad wrote a porno because even if im in the worst mood ill literally be sobbing with laughter. listening to music and playing mindless games on my phone! watching movies and tv shows. getting out of the house and going to a cafe/wandering around the mall. going to the movie theatre. reading ! 

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

i use my words a lot of the time. if i really care about someone i’ll talk to them and be there for them.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

im proud of my strength and my unwavering knowledge of what i deserve. im proud of my friends and my family and everyone in my life.

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day?

waking up and taking a dog for a walk having coffee and brunch with a close friend doing something fun like rock climbing or ice skating or going on a hike then going to see a show and going home to watch movies or play video games or play card games 

Hyacinth: what do you like to do in your free time?

read, watch movies, exercise, talk to friends, write

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Jess and Rach i met on here like ??? i cant remember when ?? 2012 ?? 2011? then we finally met in person in 2015 and now i swear i see them more often than i see friends i live in the same place as. my best friend from high school i met in 8th grade so 2007?? 

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

my best friends. my sister in law. 

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

idk its kinda weird to count lol 

 Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

hmm. this random lady in a mall once told me i can pull off red lipstick better than anyone shes ever seen before shhhhwooooosh. some of the things people have said about my fics literally makes me want to cry. one of my professors last year wrote a really lovely recommendation letter for me and told me i was fucking awesome and was going to do great things. 

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

She’s Trying. idk i struggle sometimes but at my core im proud of myself and i know my worth 

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

My resilience and passion and empathy.

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

that i lose sight of what i want and how to get it. that i shut people out and am sometimes so scarily independent that it tips and turns me lonely. 

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

visit my nans on the weekend and play video games. go to the beach. read !!! write. 

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my best friend had the same name as me and we’d play bratz and she had a pool so it was lit now she lives a few houses down from where my mum lives and has a child and we havent really spoken since like 9th grade lol slfj 

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

not making it back in time for my dads funeral

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

a lot of the time im self assured enough to not feel guilt over things i know aren’t my fault or situations where im not in the wrong. i never want people to be unhappy or struggle even if they probably dont deserve my sympathy though so i get mixed feelings there. 

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it?

i grew up on a coastal beach town. a small sleepy lil bay. it’s super pretty and idyllic and gorgeous but living there grew a bit monotonous tbh im not a small town person. visiting is lovely though. my nan literally lived basically on the beach when i was growing up youd just like roll down a hill and be on the sand. i loved it so much

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had a few different ones. i usually had purple walls ! and id decorate it with random things i was interested in and had books everywhere

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

i mean not a whole lot LOL high school kinda sucked. i did really well at school and i had some good friends! it wasnt the worst but i was also a closeted gay and didnt know who tf i was so there was some struggles around that. 

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom?

shes generous and selfless and kind. she’s had a bit of a rough life but she’s strong. 

Onions: Tell about your dad

i love that this q is ‘onions’ mood. our relationship was ,,, turbulent. i have some really great memories with him and visiting was honestly good a lot of the time when i was growing up! we’d play pool and id help them with the flowers and we’d go out boating and swimming and bowling and do lots of fun stuff but he was also an alcoholic and gradually got worse as i got older and he was really intimidating and could be really hot and cold and had really unrealistic expectations. 

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents

 i was really close with my grandmother on my dads side she gave me my passion for reading and writing !! when i was really young i would sit in her lap and she would read me stories and then when i got older i started reading the stories to her we were super close she passed away when i was in 6th grade and it was really sad i loved her. my grandpa on my mums side taught me how to play pool !! he used to run the pool club where i’d compete and he was just a nice guy he passed away a few years ago. and my nan on my mums side is an icon i love hanging out with her i grew up spending almost every weekend at her house playing video games she always has all the newest consoles and video games for all of her grandchildren lol we go for walks on the beach and shes awesome one time she came to pick me up from school blasting low by flo rida we stan 

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

hmm my 16th maybe ! that was when i was in the US and i remember having cheer practice and my host mom brought cake in and it was just really nice. idk why my 10th birthday is so memorable to me but i had a lit bday party and i remember so much about it lol? 

Peony: What was your first job?

i was a barista! 

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

i dont know if i have an idea on how i hope to meet my future partner its not something i plan or have a preference for. ive met most of my closest friends online and w being gay *+* lol itll prob be through online im guessing. 

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

physically? poorly LOL im such a baby if im in pain in any way. 

Pink: where is home? 

idk. i dont know if i have one just yet tbh. we’ll find it ! 

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, whats is one thing you would stop/change?

hmm i try to live without ragrets. there are a few situations id like to go into either wiser or not at all though if im being hoe nest. 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

hmm. there are a few actresses/celebs i look up to ! all these qs are turning my brain into goo LMAO i cant think

Rhododendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i heard once that someone related to my great grandfather had some kind of connection to french royalty ?? idk how true that was but i was waiting for my princess diaries moment for a while there 

Ricinus: who’s the most important in your life?

me bitch

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

rain/thunder 

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

to read fic until im too sleepy to keep my eyes open then drift off *+* 

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

depends on the situation. i wouldn’t say easy but i can speak and explain myself well because I spend soo much time thinking about things lol

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

my mum 

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 9 hrs lol 

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

coffee

Touch-me-not: how do you feel about your current job?

that i need one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

black jeans 

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

this and that. packing to go away

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? what were they called?

lol none really. i read a few at the beginning of the year but nothing lately. ive read innumerable fic tho does that count

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

happier ! growing ! loved. i want to feel accomplished with what i created during the school year, fulfilled. surrounded by people with pure intentions. hopefully just overseas somewhere 

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

whY is this a question ???????????????????

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself

i used to be a fitness instructor 

okay that was a lot more questions than i thought it was LMAO fuck

thank you for the entertainment that was fun ! xx 

[bloginstantmooncollector-blog]

7 day car insurance flint mi

"7 day car insurance flint mi

7 day car insurance flint mi

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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7 day car insurance flint mi

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I currently have car insurance through State Farm and I pay $318 a month. I looked into 21 Century insurance and the quote says I will be paying about $180 a month. My current insurance expires June 11th but my next bill is due May 25th. How do I go about buying/cancelling insurance? I would like to cancel State Farm by May 20th and begin my new insurance that day so I won't have to pay those crazy premiums anymore.

Car insurance companies accept no claims bonus from Lebanon?

Does anyone know an car insurance company that accepts no claims from international countries? My mother wants to use hers from Lebanon (Asia) to help reduce her quote.

Will my parents insurance go up?

My parents have state farm. I'm 17 and I just got my license. I would want my name under my moms car. will my parents insurance go up? and if so about how much?

""How much would my car insurance be, under 25?""

Im looking to get a car soon and im curious on how much car insurance would be. 2012 toyota corolla s im 18, female, Live in Florida Not married or anything, no kids Iv been driving for 2 yrs No accidents or tickets Also i have no credit (Ps whats a safe way to gain credit?) and i work at dunkin donuts. Thats all the details i believe i would need to know the answer.""

7 day car insurance flint mi

7 day car insurance flint mi

Why isnt health insurance free.. (taken out of taxes)? like other countries?

with all the taxes taken out ud think that would be the most important thing... i presume its because it would hurt companies that sell insurance in some kind of way... but im not sure... can any explain to me why? will it ever change? i think of all the things our taxes pay for ... it should at least pay for health insurance ...

Does having a motorcycle license effect your car insurance rates?

I've been looking at taking the course, wondering if theres any other implications I havent considered. Anyone have some experience with this? Assume I'll have my motorcycle endorsement on my license, but not own a motorcycle. I live in RI, by the way.""

Why would auto insurance go up just because of a divorce?

Years ago, when I was married, I had a brand new truck with a full-coverage policy costing $114 per month. I had a spectacular driving record, I was a 31 yr old female with a family, not a 19 yr old ripping up the streets. When we divorced, my auto insurance instantly doubled! It didn't just go up $50, it DOUBLED. Does anyone know why??""

Blue badge if you get one how much does your car insurance go up ?

Blue badge if you get one how much does your car insurance go up ?

What should an out of state student do for insurance?

I've recently moved out of state from CA to UT to attend school. My mom just informed me that because I'm out of state I don't get my Medi-cal benefits and I can't apply for benefints here because I'm not a citizen of Utah. I tried to sign up for independent insurance through the CA affordable care act but because I'm 18 I can't. I have no idea where to go and my medical problems are worsening. Any advice would really help, thanks.""

Any Car insurance in boston open past 5pm?

any Car insurance in boston open past 5pm

What is a 2 year contestibility period in life insurance?

What is a 2 year contestibility period in life insurance?

Where do I find health insurance for low income families?

My children are on state funded health insurance, but my husband and I are uninsured. He is a full-time student and I work 2 part-time jobs. Neither of my jobs offer me health insurance because the companies are small. I've looked into student health insurance, but it's REALLY expensive. Doesn't Obamacare allow for insurance options for low-income families? Or do we have to wait until he graduates and gets a job to be able to get health insurance???""

Can a ticket affect my parent's insurance rates?

I recently got my first moving violation and I do intend to pay it and go to traffic school soon. The policy expires this May and the insurance is not under my name. Will this affect my parent's rates? Company is state farm.

Why do I have to get car insurance?

Insurance guy lied, my fun sporty little 04 Mitsubishi eclipse gt (5 speed manual v6) was actually going to be $200 more monthly than he said it would be. It was fun to learn how to drive it. But now it's as good as gone (parents were helping with the insurance). Who's to blame? Why do I have to deal with insurance goons to start with? Couldn't there be a better way? In a slightly more perfect world what theoretical system would cut out the goons?""

Looking for a very rough estimate on insurance costs for an 08' Lambo?

I'm a 21 year old woman. The car has just over 10k miles on it It's an 2008 Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder It's listed for $150,000 I'm in school with no income I have money (idk if this is required for an estimate, but w/o getting specific, i have money) The car would be a rental (yes strange i know, but bear w/ me here) I live in a metropolitan area. Never been in an accident (but again idk if this matters since it's going to be a rental) Umm... that's all i can think of that would be required. If i'm missing anything let me know. And again i know you can't get very specific, but if you could give me a general range that insurance would be per year that would be wonderful. Thanks!""

Affordable Dental Insurance? Can it be true?

I recently lost my job. I would like a separate dental insurance plan besides my basic health insurance. I wonder if anyone else is feeling the pain like me. Any suggestions?

I am looking for the home page of atlantic highlands insurance?

I am looking for the home page of atlantic highlands insurance?

CAR INSURANCE FOR A 16 YEAR OLD?

would it be more expensive for car insurance for a brand new car or a used car.

Car insurance so high?!?

I'm 17 and I've been looking at quotes for when I pass my driving test. I'm currently paying 1000.00 on provisional for a 1.3 Fiesta worth half that value.....The cheapest car insurance quote WITH pass plus too (which I plan to do) is 6,181.28. My car is worth 590 quid, I'm not a boy racer, and I don't stick pointless spoilers and all that shite on my car either. I used Compare the market for these quotes, is there anywhere else I can go to find quotes? also, is it illegal that I'm supplying false information, like saying I've passed my test etc. I'm only doing it to get a vague idea of how much lottery winnings I need to afford it....I mean who's stupid enough to pay 6 grand for a car worth a 10th of that.....""

21st Auto Insurance Company?

Any complaints regarding the 21st Auto Insurance Company? I am thinking about switching to them.

Which family car has the lowest insurance rates in Toronto and why?

Which family car has the lowest insurance rates in Toronto and why?

How does health insurance work - when insurance premium can generally increase?

If family of two have health insurance, and one of them decide to use it for couple medical procedures will insurance policy premium go up? Please advice. Thanks.""

Will my insurance go up?

Hi, yesterday i got into my first 'accident' driving. I was changing lanes and ended up hitting the person infront of me. The cop issued me a ticket for 'change lane - not in safety' its 115 dollar ticket and 2 points. Having only my g2 license i was wondering whats going to happen with my insurance? is my rate going to go up? please help. also i am a male and 17 so it doesnt help me either. p.s do you think i should take this to court and try to lower fine or get rid of the points?""

Me and my dad are arguing about the cost of car insurance? Please have look?

On the final quote page it said that my full annual quote would be 611.49. I just paid a 101.49 deposit via my debit card. It says that my direct debits will be taken each month, next month 54 and then 8 months of 57. My deposit and the direct debits add up to 611.49, exactly as the quote stated. So what is that box (with the red arrow pointing to it); http://img829.imageshack.us/f/screenshotdi.png/ Can they take more money without saying? Can someone please explain what that means?""

Accept $140K insurance buyout from Ford or keep insurance policy?

Hi, I'm wondering whether anyone can help me decide whether it is a better idea to accept a $140K insurance buyout from Ford or keep health insurance. Assume the person in question is 50 years old and in good health. This is a timely question for many auto workers. Any links to more in-depth analysis would be great.""

""I need car insurance, but have a terrible driving record right now. Any suggestions?""

How can I get coverage at a decent rate when I have a crappy driving record?? Ive called about 4 different companies, the lowest rate i found was $209 a month for 6 months. I have 7 points on my record currently!! I cannot get insurance through my parents and i am not married so basically I'm screwed...or I should look into paying a driver to cart my butt around.""

Cheapest motorcycle insurance?

Im 16 and Im thinking about buying a small sports bike. like a Kawasaki Ninja 250 or Honda CBR250R. I have a my license and a clean driving record. If i just wanted to be covered for Bodily Liability and Property Liability, what company do you think would offer the cheapest insurance? I know that under my circumstances insurance will be disgustingly high, but i want a bike that bad.""

Will my insurance rates go up for a traffic ticket?

I have a restricted license and i got a ticket going 38 in a 25mph school zone. The cop reduced it to 34 and it is $80.00. Im almost 16 and i have state farm. Will my rates go up. Should i just go to the office and pay it. I have no defense i know i was speeding. WIll my parents find out?

Car insurance for a G37?

I am under my parents car insurance, i havent been in an accident and have no point on my record. I also have all a's and b's. I currently have AAA and have been driving for 2.5 years.""

7 day car insurance flint mi

7 day car insurance flint mi

18 year old car insurance rate?

Can you give me an educated guess on how much it would be per month or 6/mo to insure an 18 year old boy on a 2005-2009 Mustang GT? Can Military service lower/raise the rates?

A question about compulsory auto insurance?

When I insured my car last month, I told the agent that I want basic insurance, and I thought that was what I purchased. I never any information about my policy, all they sent me was the monthly bill. So today I went to the agent and notified them of this, and they gave me a Coverage Selections Page paper, and I noticed that on part 4 of the compulsory insurance they set my limit to $50,000 while the minimum is only $5000 here in Massachusetts. Apparently the premium for having the $50,000 limit is $503. Since the car is no longer operational due to an accident last Sunday and I want to keep my insurance for four months until I can replace the car, I was wondering how much I would save if I lowered the limit to the state minimum of $5,000?""

What would happen to health insurance companies if government take over the health insurance system?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I heard that Obama is trying to push a public health system that will allow everybody to have health insurance no matter what pre existing conditions he or she may have. If this is reached, what would happen to insurance carriers like Blue Cross, Blue Shield? Will we need these companies and health insurance agents?""

Cheap Life insurance?

Whats a good life insurance company

""Im pregnant , no insurance, what doctors will see me?

i know i can apply for wic and etc however i still need to go to the doc asap and was wondering if there are any that will see me without having insurance that are affordable in the knoxville tn area

Should I get AAA Roadside assistance or Insurance Roadside Assistance?

I drive an 07 Scion and was wondering if I should get AAA Plus or Insurance Roadside assistance. I currently pay $6 a year for Roadside assistance but I have to pay first and then get reimbursed and it only covers $50 each disablement. I was thinking if I should get AAA Plus which covers up to 100 miles for $76 because I know it costs quite a bit just for a hook up fee.

Can I switch Car Insurance 2 weeks later if I am financing a car?

I bought a car and I am financing it through the dealership. I got it insured but now I found a cheaper premium through a different Insurance Company, so I would like to switch. This is about 2 weeks after I put it on the original Insurance Company. And is there a fee for canceling the Insurance so I could switch to the other company?""

Will doctors be required to accept health insurance?

Under the new health care law, everyone will be required to get health insurance, will doctors also be required to accept health insurance?""

Is a '94 Integra considered a sports car ...?

Trying to figure out why my insurance is so damn high... Anyone else own early-mid 90's integra? Just curious, how's your gas mileage? How do you like these cars overall? This is my second car & still fairly new ... I totaled my first car in a bad accident within like 2-3 months. Thanks =)""

Where can i get cheap affordable Health insurance?

I am 20 years old and i will need to see a cardiologist. I have a low paying job right now. Whats the best plans. I cant afford much =/

Does car insurance pay sales taxes and destination charge if your brand new car gets damaged?

Does car insurance pay sales taxes and destination charge if your brand new car gets damaged? If your brand new car gets damage totally. what does the insurance company pay for? How long after buying brand new car does the insurance consider it not new any more?

Which would have higher insurance?

I don't have my license yet so my parents can't call their insurance company and ask for a quote but I'm just curious about insurance. Out of these 3 cars, which would have the highest insurance, which would have the lowest, and what do you estimate. I will be getting my license soon so I'm looking for cars. My parents want me to get a car that they can afford but i would be proud of driving, that's why im looking at these nice cars. Heres the list of cars that i need insurance estimates for 1. 2007 Honda Civic Si -Manual Transmission -106,000 -$12000 -All tinted windows -Will be kept in a garage http://www.autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?ct=u&car_id=296160990&dealer_id=65234215&car_year=2007&systime=&doors=&model=CIVIC&search_lang=en&start_year=1981&body_style=SEDAN&keywordsfyc=__c2k%2C__&keywordsrep=115105&highlightFirstMakeModel=&search_type=both&distance=25&min_price=&rdm=1302370333852&drive=&marketZipError=false&advanced=y&fuel=&keywords_display=si&sownerid=565766&lastBeginningStartYear=1981&end_year=2012&showZipError=y&make2=&certified=&engine=&page_location=findacar%3A%3Aispsearchform&body_code=8&transmission=&default_sort=newsortbyprice_DESC&max_mileage=&color=&address=28277&sort_type=priceDESC&max_price=14000&awsp=false&make=HONDA&seller_type=d&num_records=25&cardist=14&standard=false 2. 2006 Acura TL -Automatic Transmission -59,000 Miles -$15000 -http://www.autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?ct=u&car_id=296199939&dealer_id=66118955&start_year=2006&advanced=y&make2=ACURA&transmission=Automatic&max_price=15000&make=ACURA&model=TSX&body_style=SEDAN&search_type=both&distance=25&end_year=2012&default_sort=newsortbyprice_DESC&max_mileage=60000&address=28277&model2=TL_MODELSCLASS_SERIES&seller_type=d 3. Any car of your choice. Give me any suggestions. I want it to be sporty but 4dr""

Start up restaurant in chicago need insurance.?

I'm looking for affordable insurance that want break the bank.

What is Excesses and cover level in Car Insurance?

Hiya, I am just trying to get Car Insurance quote, in some of the web sites I am being asked to enter the amount for Excesses and cover level , the more amount I am selecting for Excesses and cover level the less insurance premium it comes up with. Can any one tell me how does it work? What is the benifit of paying Excesses and cover level, should I go for less or large amount for Excesses and cover level? FYI.. I just got my Car Driving license so I don't have Driving experience in UK.""

About how much will ensureance cost me?

Heyy ya'll, I'm 15 (ill be 16 next month) and I'm saving to buy a car next year! My mom says since I'm young they're going to charge me more for insurance, so what I want to know is about how much will they charge me a month since ill be 17 when I buy the the car?""

How much does a psychiatrist cost without insurance?

I will not have insurance to give for going to a psychiatrist. How much would you think something like this would roughly cost?

How much will my auto insurance go up(rough idea) if I get a job where I would use my car?

Just curious what range it might fall in. My premium with state farm is very low, about $70 a month with full coverage on a 1994 3000GT. Milage would be like 125 a day.""

Will my dad's car insurance go up if I get my license?

I'm 19 and want to get my license without getting my dad's car insurance going up.

Insurance - Ticket on someone else's car?

I recently got a speeding ticket on my aunt's car, which I am always allowed to use since I live with her. I know her insurance covers anyone who drives any of her cars, it is not connected to my driver's license at all. Are her rates going to go up? Or does it only affect me and my future insurance rates for when I get my own car?""

Would I be able to afford this car and car insurance?

I make $1200 a month. I currently pay $400.00 rent and $70.00 for my phone. I'm looking at a car that would cost me 180.00 a month plus 100-120 in car insurance. Plus groceries. 130 a month. I'm just worried I wouldn't be able to afford this but I really need a car. What if I move out and rent goes up? I'm a stressful person and stress about everything before I commit.I also have a dog to take care of. What do you guys think? Would I be able to afford It or would I be way to close to barely living?

'occasional driver' Car insurance?

Hi, I'm 18 and I'll be heading off to college in the fall and so won't be home very often. However when I am home I'd like to be insured on my dads car. I don't see the point in having to pay the same price for car insurance as someone who drives almost daily, so I wanted to know if there was a type of car insurance for the 'occasional' driver. I'll only be home on vacations, and even then I won't be driving all the time, but I really need a car insurance for when I do drive, mostly summers.""

17 year old getting insurance in NY?

I am planning to buy a car in a couple of months. Probably a Honda Civic/Accord from 1994 and up. I dont have more than 3500. How much will insurance cost to pay by myself? Added on my parents?They currently pay 130 a month. I have 90 average in school and a 10% discount fot compleating a drivers ed program.

Unemployment insurance in california?

Last year I was unemployed. To make a long story short, i took a job and was there for less than 2 weeks. I was forced to pray, and listen to scripture that was muslim. I am very understanding in all religions, but do not practice myself. I was very uncomfortable and left. EDD decided that i left without cause and that i did not deserve insurance. they made me pay back what they paid me and 30% more. I did so even though I didn't agree. Now that I am laid off again, I filled out a claim and got a response saying that I was eligible, and they gave me the forms to fill out for the first two weeks, the standard claim forn. I filled it out, and now got back letters saying that i am not eligible for benefits until i have filed a claim for each of the 5 weeks in which i am otherwise eligible for benefits. I haven't received new claim forms. I am assuming that I will get these, and I will fill them out for 5 weeks, and then they will pay me? So I am looking for clarification, after claiming 5 weeks they will give me my benefits? Thanks for your help, to anyone that has gone through this. It is so unfair! I paid them so much, for something I felt I was justified doing, and now I am still being punished! I would rather be working and not have to worry about this, but it is so hard to find a job :( not a great holiday.""

Does school require health insurance?

I live in California, USA and my brother and I don't have health insurance. We are in middle and high school(public school). What are the disadvantages of not having health insurance?""

Cost of insurance for minor with acura rsx-s?

oh fyi I am not trying to get my own insurance plan I am adding on to my family's

7 day car insurance flint mi

7 day car insurance flint mi

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-lose-my-medical-insurance-robert-williams/"

[classycollectorartisanposts-blog]

How much are you spending on insurance for a 600cc sportbike?

"How much are you spending on insurance for a 600cc sportbike?

I've heard that the rates are ridiculous. Yet expensive bikes like Harleys have really cheap insurance.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Why is it that the Republicans Party Sucks up so much to the Insurance Companies?

???

""Does paying in full for car insurance cover 6 months, one year, or what?

Progressive has the option of paying in full for car insurance instead of paying monthly. The total is about $1500. Does this only cover 6 months? Or one year?

How long after a DMV hearing will your insurance be notified ?

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How much would the in insurance be on a 1985 CHEVROLET CAMARO Z28?

i just turend 16 and ill get my licenes in about 3 months and i saw a 1985 CHEVROLET CAMARO Z28 the other day that im thinking about buying and i was wondering about how much the ...show more

Do you have to buy insurance before you get a car?

I would like to buy an used car (from a private owner). But I was told before I do that I must have a license, tag and insurance on the car. But another person told me that its best for me to get the car first and then get the other stuff... I am so confused.. which way is the best way for me to do? please help.""

What is life insurance for?

I know car insurance means the government pays the money for your repairs if you have an accident so you don't have to reach into your own account, same with medical insurance in all its forms (dental, etc), but I wonder what life insurance is for. I guess it serves as an inheritance for the relatives (via birth, marriage) of the deceased in the event that person dies and the survivors collect a lot of debt in terms of having to pay for funeral services and their house notes and bills. I don't know. I'm just guessing. I see lots of insurance TV commericals. I'm 24 so I was just a little curious. It seems to me like life insurance advertising is mostly directed toward spouses and parents. That further does make me feel life insurance is kind of an inheritance from the government in case someone dies with dependents so those other relatives under the care of the deceased have money to eat and clothe.""

How to see a doctor without health insurance?

im a student living in southern california. i havent seen a doctor in years because i cant afford health insurance, but recently ive noticed that i may have an issue that should be checked out by a doctor. how do i go about seeing one? what do i do? where should i go? any advice or tips would be very helpful. at this point i dont care how much debt i have to incur to do it, i just need to do it. thanks.""

Seriously...How do you really understand your car insurance coverage?

It's certain things that the company doesn't make very known about how much is paid if an accident occurs. Can someone help me? I recently purchased a policy with Geico. 500 deductible on comp and colli. Still owe 14,500 on car and it's only worth 10,000 per blue book. My goodness. This world is not fair. Father save us. So many people out to get over on consumers.""

""A question about car registration, insurance, etc?""

If I purchased a used car from a private seller, or even a dealer, the title was given to me and I go to the DMV to register it under my name, etc what happens next? Am I allowed to drive the car while waiting for the registration tags to come in and for me to find insurance for the car, or is my car supposed to sit in my driveway until all the registration paperwork with the DMV is completed?""

What is the best insurance company?

I am looking around for health insurance, but I don't which one is affordable. So, can anyone tell me which ones are the best ones? My employer does not provide health insurance.""

What do can i do? Car Iincident! but no insurance!?

Ok i live in Orange County in California. Yesterday on my way to school i got t-boned by a 1998 Ford F150. I drive a 1998 Honda Prelude. I was driving down a street and the light turned yellow so i ran it and the guy was waiting to make a left turn at a yielding section, he saw me coming when the light turned yellow and he just stepped on the gas and T-boned me on the driver side. He didn't take blame for it, and he states that I ran a red light when his light was green. Police wasn't involved. We are all okay, nothing happened to his vehicle, he just has a light scratch on his plastic bumper, buy my car got wrecked from the passenger side. Now the main problem is i don't have insurance on my vehicle but he did. Now i don't know what to do.""

Scion tC...how much woul i pay monthly with car & insurance?

Im 19, been driving for two years, no accidents, no tickets or anything like that. I juss ont know how muc it woud be monthly. if anyone knows please.""

How much would my car insurance cost to pay the minimum payment?

what is the cheapest car insurance company? How much would the minimal payment cost? My 21 yr old bf would be the one paying it and i would be under his insurance. im a first time driver age 19. I am a mom of two kids and highschool graduate. the title to my car would be in his name. Unless it doesnt matter to have it in both our names. we live in ms and he uses state farm.

National insurance number

I know you can get your national insurance number before your 16 , does this mean you can apply for a job as soon as you get you national insurance number , even if you are still 15 ?""

What is the average monthly premium rate for individual health insurance coverage?

What is the average monthly premium rate for individual health insurance coverage?

Cheap car insurance companies?

i've just passed my test and own a renault clio sport 1.4 w reg all insurance quotes have been over 3000 pound does any one know where to go for cheap car insurance

Insurance for a Mustang?

What do you think the average price of insurance would be for a 2002 V6 Mustang? I am 16, female, and this will be my first car. I'm also a full time high school student with excellent grades if that has an effect on the price.""

""You must have car insurance, question about that?""

Here in Utah, it is law that you must have car insurance. I'm wondering though, what if I borrow my father's car, and it is insured, but I am not an insured driver, how does this work? Is it fine as long as the car is insured? I might not be an insured driver but does that still fulfill the law? If not, why do people borrow cars all the time?""

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How much would car insurance be for a 16 year old to drive a 2005 Ford F-150?

I live in Arizona, I want a red or black 2005 Ford F-150 crew cab. Im not rich, my dads just got a **** ton of money cause he never buys anything. Im trying to get him to pay for the whole insurance but i really doubt hes going to. So please help me out, tell me how much me or him is going to have to pay.""

How can a 21 year old male get lower insurance on a sports car?

Currently, My Insurance is 98$ a month and I am insured on my Dad's 2012 BMW 328i and as a secondary driver on my 2012 Camaro RS, my lease is up and I am hoping to lease the new Corvette and go on my own insurance plan when I move away for work. However, my quotes so far are really high, like $200 a month high. I was wondering if there was any way that I could bring my insurance rates lower. Thanks! Additional Details- I got a speeding ticket when I was 16 but does not reflect my payments No Wrecks or claims I usually drive over 15k miles a year I Live in Tennessee""

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I've heard that the rates are ridiculous. Yet expensive bikes like Harleys have really cheap insurance.

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My boyfriend and I are over the age of 25 and live together. We are not listed as drivers on each other's car insurance policies, so I was wondering if it's legal for my boyfriend to drive my car while I'm in it or for me to drive his car while he's in it. If we get pulled over or get into an accident, are we covered by the other person's insurance? Will we get in trouble for not being listed on the insurance of the vehicle we're driving?""

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I need to know the cheapest site or agency to buy sr22 insurance. Any ideas? Thanks!!

How much can I expect to pay for a dented car door?

Actually, an off-duty police office hit my 2000 Dodge Stratus with his 2002 GMC Sierra while turning into a parking spot. The rear passenger door has a fairly large (about one foot in length and about a half inch at its deepest point) dent. The paint (I'm assuming) has a large crack running under the dent. The scratch from the impact starts at the bottom left of my rear bumper, and continues on the bottom left side of my car before the door starts, and continues to halfway through to the other side. The paint isn't scratched too deeply, and could probably be fixed up without too much work. His insurance is paying for it all; but they're going to give me a check based on an estimate - I'm just trying to figure out, going into it, what kind of estimate I can expect so I don't get taken advantage of. Thanks! (Fast response of the Best Answer!)""

Why make a deduction for medical insurance?

I just started a new job, my first full-time job. I guess first thing first: is medical insurance the same thing as health insurance? And my employer handed me a form for payroll deductions. medical insurance is an option. Why would I have money deducted from my paycheck to go to medical insurance? And when the money leaves my paycheck where does it go? I know I could ask someone but weirdly no one else is in the office this week, but I need to fill it out before the new year. Thanks for any and all information!! Happy new year!""

Incorrect no claims bonus quoted on my renewal for car insurance?

I have recently had my renewal quote through from my current car insurer and have noticed it states more years for my no claims bonus then I've actually got. I've looked back at my previous paperwork and it looks like I made a massive error. I really wanted to stay with the same insurer but know I will need to inform them of the error. Has anyone been in this situation before? Not sure what happens! :0

Does anyone have HealthNet insurance?

I'm wondering if anyone else has HealthNet insurance and what it covers as far as diagnostic and fertility treatments? I'm considering switching from my Blue Cross&Blue Shield...just to something that will cover at LEAST diagnostic and maybe an RE I'm in Southern California

Scooter insurance for 16 year olds?

I turn 16 this year and wanna start riding a 50cc scooter. I found the one i want, i was wondering the rough cost of insurance on a 50cc moped for a 16 year old on a provisional license in the UK. Thanks Jamie Deeks""

Can I have two health insurances?

I am pregnant, and my work covers me but i already have insurance. But only for myself my not baby so I was curious how it all works? I will be getting kicked off my current insurance soon so would my work insurance just take the place of it when that happens? thanks for any help :)""

What is a good car insurance for someone that is 21?

im 21 my car is insured by my moms insurance but she wants to take me off. What are some good options??i live in california and im a full time student.

Car bump and getting insurance.?

I had a bump around a year and a half ago and there was very minimal damage and no injuries, the woman gave a different name to me than to the insurance and I think maybe she wasn't insured? If the case was closed and went nowhere but the insurance company knew would this be recorded on their system.""

HELP! With Car insurance??????

OK so I lost my license because I got caught driving without insurance in September 2010. I just passed my test today. When I'm checking the quotes, the cheapest I have managed to find was 7400 for 1 year. That is for a 1.1L Peugeot 206 Insurance group 3. They can't expect me to pay that much for insurance for 1 year, I will need a mortgage for that. Does anyone know how much insurance will increase by after getting 6 points? I'm 20 BTW!""

Does AAA offer short term car insurance?

I just got my license but will be moving down to San Diego in a week to start college. My parents don't want to start me on a long term insurance plan as I won't be using their cars much so it's a waste of money. I was wondering if there is a short term insurance plan that is cheaper as it would be very convenient to drive this week instead of taking busses.

I just found out i'm pregnant with no insurance?

I just found out I'm pregnant and don't have insurance. I live in California near the Los Angeles/ Orange County line. I am trying to find out if there are any free/low cost clinics I can go to to get checked out? Any info would be greatly appreciated.

Classic car insurance with Geico?

I have a 1967 Chevrolet Impala SS. It has 118k. It's all factory except for a cd player, two 6x9 speakers and window tint. I don't have any insurance on it at the moment and I want to get classic auto insurance. How exactly does that work and what would it cost me. Thanks.""

Do I need car insurance once I get my driver's license?

Can I just get my driver's license and not drive the vehicle? Because I know if you drive a car you need insurance, but what if I just have my license and am not driving anything? Also, I heard about this family policy that if I'm driving a parent's car with my driver's license I'm covered under THEIR insurance? I am not talking about a learner's permit, I'm talking about an actual driver's license. I can get my license on December 4th. Thanks for your answers!""

How much insurance is it for a 16 year old boy in alberta?

just planning to buy a 1996 car any ideas?

How much will my insurance go up for my first DWI-drugs conviction (read for more info/details)?

I am wondering how much my insurance will go up by a percent amount? I am a 25 year old guy with a dwi conviction on the way. I didn't hurt or kill the other driver. I did have to repair the other car, but my rates didn't go up for that. I don't have any other points against me. My lawyer just keeps saying substantially, but that is it.""

""Just got my M1 , wondering what kind of motorcycle I should look at? ( price/Insurance wise )?""

I have my eye on the Suzuki 500 gs , Since its considered a Touring sport, I will have cheaper insurance... Any suggestions on some motorcycles, I live in Ontario Canada. Thanks""

Is there any insurance company in california that will accept to give me coverage if i have PCOS?

I also need an insurance coverage for pregnancy as I am trying to conceive

How much are you spending on insurance for a 600cc sportbike?

I've heard that the rates are ridiculous. Yet expensive bikes like Harleys have really cheap insurance.

What insurance companies allows under 25's to drive any car on fully-comprehensive insurance?

Hi there, I'm 18 and have insurance with Tesco young drivers however that does not cover me to drive every car as under 25's aren't covered. I need to drive my mums car soon and she is abroad on business for 6months so cannot add me on to her insurance either, which leaves me with a problem. I can't find a company anywhere that allows under 25's to drive any car on fully-comprehensive insurance so was wondering if anybody out there did? Thank you""

""My car was a total loss, my insurance wants to go for a settlement? ?""

My car was a total loss, my insurance wants to go for a settlement? how do i know that they are giving me a fair settlement? do i check the blue book value for my car when it was brand new, or as a used car(coz i bought my car as a used car with 23,000 mileage), or would they pay it as used plus the current mileage when my car was declared a total loss (it has 30,000 mileage). I bought my car, a 2005 honda accord coupe with 23,000 mileage <--- how much do they normally settle with this car?""

What is car insurance like for a 16 year old?

I've had no suspensions or tickets, and im wondering what yearly insurance would be for a 2005 4 dr chevy cobalt, or a 2005 dodge sx 2.0. Please don't give me links to websites, because I want to hear first hand opinions! Thanks!""

Do auto insurance companies actually confirm the info you provide for the quote?

After requesting a quote online, you anto insurance companies actually confirm that all the info u gave are true? For example; moving violations, actual address? Does the DMV verify this info?""

How Much Would My Car Insurance Be?

I'm a 20 year old female who just got her license, so I have no driving record to speak of. I want to buy a cheap used car (somewhere south of 2 or 3 thousand dollars.) What I would really like would be an old Ford Ranger (a small pick-up truck) or a Jeep Cherokee. I know insurance definitely increases for a truck, and unfortunately, Jeeps are considered recreational vehicles (because their original use was for off-roading and such) so it would also increase my insurance. However, since I'm planning on buying an older car (like late 90s or early 2000s) I wouldn't have a car payment, only an insurance payment (and gas, of course.) So does anybody have any vague ideas of how much my insurance payment would be?? If it helps any, I'm going to be put on my parent's insurance, and my brother (who currently IS on their insurance) drives a PT Cruiser and his payment is $150 a month. I'm guessing mine would be north of $200, but not above $250? Is that close? Any ideas? Thanks! -Ashley""

Does anyone else have USAA insurance?

When do I get my insurance card

Ive been looking into pet insurance and Im a bit confused.?

Ive been looking into pet insurance and Im a bit confused. When it says: wellness exam (split between two visits per year) $40 vaccinations $30 heartworm test $25 fecal test $15 deworming $20 microchip $20 flea and/or heartworm preventive $50 blood screen or x-ray or EKG $50 Is the dollar amount the price the insurance pays all year or per visit?

What are the best car insurance company's?

In California it is Wawanesa low insurance rates for good drives only

Minor accident no insurance ?

I got in a minor accident I'm 17 my dad has insurance but I'm not under that insurance the cop showed up and just told me I had court there was no injuries what am I facing ? My car got chipped the other car was only paint scratches

Premium return life insurance?

What is the big bennefit of premium return life insurance policies?

Can someone help me with car insurance?

i am 16 years old. live in louisiana. birthday march 20th. completed drivers ed. probably going to drive a 2006 nissan sentra. and i was wondering how much my monthly insurance rate would be? if i would get it in my name? i am expecting it to be pretty expensive.

What are car insurance bonds?

What are car insurance bonds?

Which company is best for insurance?

I am 17 and have just passed my test I have a 1.4 litre hatchback and need to get my insurance. Where is best? Thanks

California Insurance Code 187.14?

California Insurance Code 187.14?

Do people on medicare have to apply for affordable care?

According to the affordable care act people have to register for insurance in October .

""Best insurance company? People with actual experience, having made a claim please.?""

Hi, I am wondering what you consider to be the best insurance company -- mainly for auto, but also maybe for combination auto and home. Please, I need people who have had more experience with the company than just buying their insurance there. I need people who have actually had to make a claim and to tell me how good the company was about it and if they were quick to respond and take care of the situation. Also, did your rates go up as a result? Also, good prices are very important to me. Where did you get reasonable rates with great service? These could be traditional or online insurance providers. I am looking into all options, so I appreciate any input, although like I said before, I need to know from people who have made a claim -- or done more than just pay for insurance. Thank you for all your help.""

Car Insurance. 50/50?

I was in a minor car accident like a month ago. and they've finally almost resolved the claim. It's probably going to be 50/50, now how will that work out in terms of money?? As in, I had an estimate of the cost it would have took to fix my damage, am I gonna get half of that?""

What company offers the cheapest auto insurace?

Help!!!I My car insurance is $432.00 a month! My husband has gotten 3 speeding tickets within the past year and our car insurance has sky rocketed. We currently have Geico Insurance and I have gotten a few more qoutes from different companies but nothing has been cheaper. Besides the obvious advise (SLOW DOWN), does anyone know what we can do to lower our monthly premium?""

How much would taxi insurance cost?

How much would it cost to insure a car essentially as a taxi? Also how much would it cost for a person to be insured in a customers car (any car they drive)?

What car has the cheapest insurance for a first time driver?

i have looked at a few cars and atm i think a corsa 1.0 is one of the cheapest i know that i will need to get a 1.0 but does any1 know any other 1.0 litre cars that are decent so i can compare??

Car Insurance in Connecticut?

I just got my license back after my first DUI arrest over a year ago. I want to get a car but insurance would be around $5,000 a year for a car that only costs $1,500. Does anyone know what the laws are in CT about car insurance and if I need it to drive my own car. Does the car need to be insured to be on the road?""

How much would it cost if i put full coverage on a 2007 Nissan Altima?

I want to buy a 2007 Nissan Altima 2.5s and want to put full coverage on it. I want to know how much or approx how much would it be? and whats the best insurance out there that wont cost too much each month. geico? the general? farmers? progressive? Please respond back!

Whats the best car insurance website to compare?

looking for cheap car insurance, plz :)""

What does auto insurance deductible mean?

I just bought a new car but the bank that financed the loan is asking for proof of auto insurance on the car with a comprehensive and collision deductible of $1000 maximum. I put AAA insurance on the vehicle and they gave me a $500 deductible on both comprehensive and collision. Do i need the $1000 deductible or am i good with the $500 deductible?

I want to save money and am looking for cheapest car insurance in uk?

can any one tell me where to get an insurance say third party only or fire and theft at the most for less than 500 pounds a year online

How much are you spending on insurance for a 600cc sportbike?

I've heard that the rates are ridiculous. Yet expensive bikes like Harleys have really cheap insurance.

How much does insurance cost for a teenager?

I'm seventeen years old and I'm going to have to pay for it on my own, and I'm just curious what I might be paying? I live in California and I'll be driving a 99 jeep Cherokee.""

How much do you think my car insurance will go up???

I got caught speeding in a school zone. The speed limit was 20mph and i was going 37 mph. that is 17mph over the speed limit. i already have one speeding ticket on my record and have doubled one to get it taken off. i talked to a lawyer and to get it dropped down the prosecuter wants me to tripple the fine, take a driving class, and go on diversion for a year. That would cost me at least $800. so i am thinking about risking just paying it and seeing how mush my car insurance will actually go up. the fine on the ticket is $165 and i am a 18 year old male. SHOULD I RISK IT or not???""

Does geico insurance policy with full coverage cover a stolen car that was left unlocked?

Does geico insurance policy with full coverage cover a stolen car that was left unlocked?

How should I go about getting car insurance? (20 years old)?

I have enough money to buy my first car, I'm going for a car with a small engine around 1.2-1.6. when getting insurance quotes however, the cheapest quote i've found is around 1700 quid. help?? surely i can get insured on my own car for less than this?""

How much would the Insurance go up for a sports exhaust. 10 POINTS?

Hi at the moment my boss pays my insurance on his business fleet as I work in his office in the week, therefore I have a business car (ford feista) I asked him as he's my uncle can I get sports exhaust for it if I pay for it and the additional cost Of the insurance every year IF it goes up. I'm 18 he pays 1200 for the year and I think that goes to about 600 this year.. As he's got 5 business cars on the same fleet. How much extra will it cost me?""

Off roading 4wd insurance question?

Hi all Just wanting to know if when you are 4wding if you have an accident eg :rool the 4wd or flood it or break stuff on it are we covered by insurance and are there any 4wding insurance companies for 4wders only?

What are the pros and cons of national health insurance?

It's going to be a hot topic in the next Presidential election. What do you think?

Good military discounts for car insurance?

My husband is a Marine, we recently bought a new car and we're looking for good car insurance, preferably with a military discount! Does anyone have any experience with this? Thanks!""

Should i have my g2 licence for sure to get my auto insurance?

I've my international driving permit and g1 license.... but when i try to get auto insurance quote in the internet... The results are not given,if i mention i have my international driving licence or G1 licence.... So this is making me wonder, only if i have g2 licence... its possible to get my car insurance in canada? ... Please help.""

Sportbike insurance for 16 year old?

I was curious about getting a 2008 HONDA CBR 600RR any idea how much the insurance would be??

How much will my insurance go up?

I got a ticket today for reckless driving (drifted coming out of school.) I'm only 16 and I'm a male, so how much will my insurance go up?""

How much will my auto insurance cost?

I just turned 16 a couple months ago and i already have my license, and i live in Colorado. My parents have State Farm auto insurance and they want me to pay for my own insurance when i get a car. I already know that you can get a bunch of discounts for things like getting good grades and attendence and safe driving and not driving your car to school, but anyways i was wondering how much it would cost me without any discounts? Like how much would it be every month or so? I do have a job but i dont know if i would have enough to pay for car insurance. Any help is needed! thank you!!!""

Bussiness liability Insurance state of ga?

Looking to purchase INS. For a company that goes to car dealerships and performs work on the cars on the dealers lot . If a car has cloth they would switch it out for leather (pre made kit). No emp. Only owner. How much do we need ? Where do you buy it ? THANKS

Car insurance advice?

I am 20 years old just got my license in February my car insurance is currently 217 with abc I can't afford it so where can I get a cheaper insurance I know because my age cheap isn't a option but 200 is insane.. or would it be cheaper for somebody to put me on their insurance with my car!! HEEEELLLLPPP btw I have a 06 mazda 6

Why is michigan car insurance so high?

I am a 21 year old female with no little credit but I have no bad credit. I rent an apartment and pay all my bills on time. I have a 2004 monte carlo ss that I paid 3500 for. This is my first car. The cheapest quote I got was 350 a month and that's only for the state minimum. I already have health insurance. They want me to pay more for car insurance than my car is worth and if I get in an accident they wont even cover it.

If you are on someone else's car insurance?

I was put onto a friends car insurance policy for 6 months... Is that the standard policy time frame or could you make it longer or shorter etc. based on your situation?

How to find stolen life insurance benefits?

If someone were to submit a benefit disclaimer letter to a life insurance company with a forged signature (the beneficiary was never told of the policy). What would be the best advice (other than seeking an attorney) to find any and all life insurance company names at the time of the insureds death? Can I report a fraud claim with my state (Ohio) if I have physical proof? I can file a missing life insurance/annuity search request, but dont know if this will help me find any disclaimed benefits already stolen. I have a feeling life insurance companys would keep this quiet. I suppose I could cold call the life insurance companys that operate in my state and ask if they have my name on file.""

How reliable is erie auto insurance?

How reliable is erie auto insurance?

What country has the best and most affordable health care system in the world?

it cannot possibly be the united states. in the united states the only ones that can afford healthcare probably cannot actually afford it, their insurance covers it. take away ...show more""

Car insurance confusingggg?

Hey I'm looking to get a new car I'm 22 been driving 3 years and have been driving a boring 1.2 since I started so i finally ready for a new car. I got some quotes I originally jus wanted a 1.6 pertol or something but I got a few quotes on more powerful cars just for a laugh. To my suprise I can actually get insured on cars like 2.5 litre turbo ford focus st and golf gti etc. so now obvioulsy i want one of them but concerned about fuel consumption might cost alot I was also thinking about a audi a3 2.0 tdi which is a diesal. heres where i get confused the focus and golf are a fair bit cheaper to insure than the less powerful diesal a3 I really crnt get my head around this, I have got my quotes from confused.com and had one directly from a insurance website it seems strange and too good to be true. Any know why this is and also anyone got any suggestion on fuel consumption in big engine pertol cars""

17 year old male car insurance!?

I am 16 (soon to turn 17) and I already have my lessons and car sorted out. If I passed my theory and practical test first time I am looking at getting a 1.0L Toyota Yaris in mid-September. I live in Blackpool (UK). I have been looking at quotes and insurance companies for ages but I can't find a consistent price. I was wondering (roughly) how much my insurance would be with and with-out a black box and any ideas for which insurance company to go for?

What is the best affordable Health Insurance in Las Vegas I'm 24 and don't have any medical conditions ?

What is the best affordable Health Insurance in Las Vegas I'm 24 and don't have any medical conditions ?

What are the steps needed to sell health insurance and/or become a broker/agent in Minnesota?

What are the steps needed to sell health insurance and/or become a broker/agent in Minnesota?

Is there a significant difference in auto insurance rates when males turn 25 years old?

I had a friend who worked in auto insurance for a few months, he said that it is all a myth, which is hard to believe. I live in California, and I wanted to get a nicer car when I'm older but insuance is going to be a killer.""

Is There Any One-Day Car Insurance?

I have a car that is unplated and I don't drive it for more than one year but I am going for my G license test which can be done in one day. So, I wonder if there is any car insurance for one day in Ontario Canada?""

How much are you spending on insurance for a 600cc sportbike?

I've heard that the rates are ridiculous. Yet expensive bikes like Harleys have really cheap insurance.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/buy-cheap-car-insurance-online-insurancezip-justin-gonzalez/"

[shamelessmilkshakepanda-blog]

Fast old car that isnt cost millions to insure?

"Fast old car that isnt cost millions to insure?

I am 17 i understand that the insurance on a very fast car would be millions! but i was wondering does anyone know an old fastish car that the insurance isnt tonnes and tonnes of cash in the UK

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I'll be getting a loan of my brother-in-laws car while he's away serving with the army for 6 months and I'm trying to find the most cost effective way(s) of me getting insured for it for that duration. At the moment I have my own car with insurance, for myself and my wife (insurance is in my name), and I effectively want to use a second car. Ideally I wouldn't want my brother-in-law to have to pay insurance while he's away.""

Car insurance...?

When you get a quote online for car insurance you get asked so many question like deductible, collision... etc etc.. so many numbers to choose from.. Can anyone explain them to me? i'm just used to liability or full coverage.. right now i have liability on my car and i pay 135 a month. When i got a quote from allstate it turned out to be only 38 a month??? i'm sure i didn't pick the right numbers....""

How much is car insurance for a range rover a month?

I'm almost 16 and I wanted to know how much is car insurance for a Range Rover HSE, since that's the car i want.""

Is this a new car insurance con?

Just tried to get car insurance through that confusing website. We chose the cheapest one and when we went to pay for it, the swines said error phone this number bla bla bla . So we phone up and they add another 35 onto the quoted price. Of course we said on your nelly . Is this a typical con? Have you experienced that?""

How are AARP Insurance rates?

What are their rate like compared to other auto insurance companies

How much is a sr22 with car insurance for a first offense dui?

Don't bother answering if your just going to tell or give me websites to get a quote on. I want to know if anyone else has had to get a sr22 for first offense dui and how much it cost them or an estimation.

How To Get The Insurance Brokers Licensec?

How to get the insurance brokers licensec? Is anyone could give me website?

How can i find out if someone has insurance on me?

life insurance police

Can a car insurance company change my price mid policy?

I have already made 2 payments on my policy, and now the insurance company had me call for some sort of interview. At the end they said they need to review the policy and will get back to me. Can they change my price mid policy? I figured they would have to wait until my policy was up for renewal since I've already made payments, and they sent their notice after my first payment was made. However, the woman on the phone said that my premium may change. Is there some sort of legal statement saying they can't change my premium mid policy?""

Insurance rate for a 2000 toyota celica?

Insurance rate for a 2000 toyota celica?

I need cheap car insurance in New York City?

I need cheap (FULL) coverage for a financed vehicle in the NEw York Area...I've tried the popular sites...any leads?

How much might health insurance cost per year for a healthy 22-year-old?

Need to start buying my own health insurance, because I have some health concerns that i need taken care of ASAP. But overall, I am a healthy person.""

Question about car insurance?

I know it's a broad question - but what is the average rate for car insurance for someone over 25 who is a safe driver?? Also is it possible for your car insurance to drop $100 in 6 months??

Motorcycle insurance?

progressive is quoting me at $20 a month for bare minimum coverage for a 2010 yamaha r1. I'm 18 years old and single. how is this even possible? am i reading something wrong? this price just seems absurdly low to me

Non owners insurance in california?

i am considering non-owners insurance for a car. however, if i drive my friend's car, their insurance policy will cover me. 1) what is the point of getting non-owners insurance, if non-owners insurance already assumes that i don't have frequent access to a car, and my friend's policy will cover me, also assuming i don't have frequent access to his car? also, i know, in the case of an at-fault accident with my friend's car, and assuming i have non-owners insurance, my friend's insurance will kick in first, then my non-owners insurance will cover what's missing. 2) what's the point of non-owner's, if my friend's limits are high enough already? 3) won't my friend's insurance increase since his insurance company had to pay? 4) if my friend's insurance increases, then what does the non-owner's insurance cover/protect??""

Insurance company law help!?

My old insurance company is trying to take me to court. My problem where i need to ask people who know some law is... Can an insurance company up the payment without consent? In my case:- 800 up to 2000+ From (UK provisional license) to (UK Full) Thank you in advanced!

Does anyone know a insurance company that insures assembled motorcycles?

i just purchased a 2008 assembled harley but am having a hard time finding an insurance company that deals with these! if anyone has one of these custom bikes please let me know, i want to get it insured so we can ride this weekend!!!!!!!""

How does car insurance work?

I work at *** insurace services and im a secretary. i do nothing but answer calls. i want to know how this place works. i know they insure taxis,. limos, trucks. and personal cars. but how do my managers get paid. HOW DOES THIS PLACE WORK. so i dont have to feel lost all the time at work. i still dont know why they hired me.. weird""

Fast old car that isnt cost millions to insure?

I am 17 i understand that the insurance on a very fast car would be millions! but i was wondering does anyone know an old fastish car that the insurance isnt tonnes and tonnes of cash in the UK

How much does car insurance cost for a 17 year old?

I'm currently 17 with and just got my license a couple of weeks ago, i was wondering how much does the insurance cost annually for a 17 year old like me? Thanks for your help!""

Provisional insurance for young driver?

Looking to get insured on my mums car but my mums insurance company wont put me on her insurance,,,, could i get insured by a company such as provisional marmalade? Any other suggestions?""

If i buy a fully comp insurance can i drive my friends car ? Im 17.?

If i buy a fully comp insurance can i drive my friends car ? Im 17.

Car insurance increase?

my friend was pulled over for speeding while unlicensed due to a 6 month lapse in insurance, she was arrested and charged with a misdimeanor of aggrivated unlicensed operation of a vehicle as well as speeding 20 miles over the speed limit. She had at least one other ticket from several months ago that she never paid. it was for talking on a cell phone (illegal in nys). She has gotten other tickets in the past as well but those have long since been taken care of. She is 25. she believes that her car insurance is only going to be $80 a month in a few months when she is able to get her license back, and told me that the speeding ticket it will raise it a little, but the driving without a license and not paying car insurance for 6 months does not affect her rate. Can someone prove her wrong? Has anyone experienced an increase in their car insurance because of a lapse or becuase they were arrested for driving without a license?""

Insuring A Range Rover For An 18 Year Old?

Ive been driving for a year now, and i have 1 year no claims bonus. (aged 18 and male). I am going to university for three years, and for the first of those three years, im NOT on the insurance. How much do you think a Rangerover sport (second hand costing about 9,000) would be costing me in UK insurance third-party? my current car was fitted with this mileage thing, which also lessens the amount i pay (NOT A BALCK BOX).. but roughly do you know? thanks.""

How much will insurance cost a 16 year old thinking of buying a mustang.?

I am 16 years old and have had my lisence for 5 months. I am thinking of buying a 1998 mustang. I have never had a ticket or been pulled over. Never been in any kind of accident. I ...show more

Insurance on a supersport motorcycles is that much higher?

So I'm planning on getting a 600cc supersport soon, and I was looking at insurance rates. The choice package at progressive was $350 for my current 2006 ninja 250. (19m, car driver 3 years, 9 months on bike) and when I try to get a quote for a 600cc bike the price jumps up to $1200 for a bike of the same year (r6), and $1400 for a gixxer. At the same time, it's $450 for a ninja 650r. Are these prices suppose to be right? What's going on?""

Need Cheap Medical Health Insurance?

Hello, could anybody recommend me a site for cheap medical health insurance.I know many sites, but their offers are too expensive.""

Im 16 and need car title and insurance advise?

I was wondering if it would be better to put my car in my name or my parents name. I have a 1998 toyota corolla and I was also wondering about a rough estimate for a new 16 yr old drivers insurance rates

Affordable health care?

i work for a small company (5 employees) so we do not have a health plan. i don't have health insurance, but for my own and my families sake, i should get some. how can i get affordable coverage that i can rely on. i don't want some healthplan where i have to single out a clinic for all my needs (i travel alot throughout the country, so it should be a plan that is accepted in most states) plus i've heared about aflac as a supplement insurance that covers some basic things) ideas, suggestions?""

Is there a program or something for people who work as temps to get insurance?

I have not had medical insurance and would love to have coverage, but working as a temp none is offered and it can be very exspensive, anyone know what I can do to get affordable insurance!!!""

How much will I pay for car insurance? Estimate.?

I am looking to buy a car this Spring (new, from a dealership). When I do, I will be 24, female, and have had my license for just under a year. Since I passed my road test, I have not been driving or on any insurance at all. I will be the main driver on this vehicle, though there might be a secondary driver. I will probably by a small car, like a Yaris, or a Hyundai Elentra. Something cheap, good on gas, safe, and not fast or sporty. It will be automatic. I am a university graduate (not sure if that matters but I heard it does). I will live in a town with about 100,000 people. About how much am I looking at car insurance/month? I have tried the online sites but find them confusing. Some people tell me $100, but the online estimates can be $300-400.""

An individual purchasing auto insurance is an example of:?

An individual purchasing auto insurance is an example of: Answer Hedging. Passing risk to someone else. Risk premium. Systematic risk. a and d

What is the best auto insurance?

i am 23 and pay $135 for liability. i need something cheaper.

I live in California and got a second offense for driving without insurance how much will this cost me?

I live in California and got a second offense for driving without insurance how much will this cost me?

What is the best web site for comparing car insurance rates?

What is the best web site for comparing car insurance rates?

What does term life insurance cover?

does term life insruance cover any death. Like lets say there is an earthquake and the insured dies.. would the term insurance cover it? or does the insured have to die of old age?

Wich is is best life insurance ?

wich is is best life insurance ? MY AGE IS 32

For car insurance is it better to get it through a broker?

I am 19 years old and I have never had insurance (I have had my license for a year). There is a broker right now charging me $508 to be insured for the whole year. Before finding this broker the cheapest I could find was at State Farm and they were charging $720/year. The thing is I was told I would be charged $33/Month by the broker which would total $396 for the year. Is the remaining $102 their (the brokers) commission? What do you think?

If my camera is in my car and it is stolen will my auto insurance cover it?

If my camera is in my car and it is stolen will my auto insurance cover it?

Settling with the insurance company?

My sister was fatily injured by a drunk driver in georgia.His insurance company has agreed to pay $25000 bodily injury liability and her insurance company will pay $25000 underinsured motorist for a total of $50,000.Should his insurance company medical pymts coverage pay anything like the funeral expenses.Also if her family agrees to this from the insurance company will that clear him of a civil suit""

How much insurance is on a 2002 mustang gt on a 55 year old male?

How much insurance is on a 2002 mustang gt on a 55 year old male?

Looking for health insurance. I am on SS but not yet eligible for medicare. Only get $300 on SS?

I took early retirement at 62. I am now 63. I only get around $300/mo Social security. I do not qualify for Medicare until age 65. I cannot find affordable catastrophic health ...show more

Mandated Health Insurance is different from Mandated Auto Insurance how?

The Supreme Court will be deciding if the government can force us to buy health insurance from a private corporation. The government forces us to buy auto liability insurance from a private corporation. I am at a loss to see the difference.

Blue cross insurance? How soon can you start using it?

Well, I want to get braces but don't have any insurance whatsoever (other than the mandatory Medicare). I live in NS by the way. I would like to get Blue Cross insurance but have no idea how to do so and when I would be able to start using my insurance towards my braces. Also, I have a minor benign tumor on my pituitary gland so will that affect my rating for insurance? What other insurance companies are there in Atlantic Canada? Thanks for your help :)""

Fast old car that isnt cost millions to insure?

I am 17 i understand that the insurance on a very fast car would be millions! but i was wondering does anyone know an old fastish car that the insurance isnt tonnes and tonnes of cash in the UK

Do i need to list the second driver on my insurance policy?

If they aren't registerd to the vehicle but drive it often do they need to be on the policy at all? Im paying way too much with two currently...

Im 17 and pregnant where can i get affordable prenatal care in las vegas?

i dont yet have medicaid because my mom needs to take me off of her insurance...i just need to know where i can get either free or affordable prenatal care in las vegas...i dont need ...show more

Will my insurance go up?

I got two speeding tickets not to long ago, they where 145 dollars each. On both of the tickets i was going 75 mph and speed limit was 60 mph. I already paid for the both tickets, they got reduced by 45 dollars each ticket. I was wondering by how much will my insurance go up and when does it go up. Its my dad insurance and he has my car on his insurance. Will the insurance go up only on my car or both of the cars on same insurance and is there any way you can take those tickets of the record. Like traffic schools..""

Help with health insurance in Delaware.?

I need: dental health 0 deductible 20% or less I can pay out of pocket basic emergency just in case copay doesnt matter Also, have not been to doctor in a while except one time I had insurance they told me to lose weight and I had to get blood test all good readings. And also, I need test for my hearing and sleep apnea test. I am looking for a quote for type of insurance that covers this and basic coverage for anything else I might need thank you and have a great day.""

""How much would it cost to add me as another driver to my mom's insurance policy (for the same car, not my own)?""

She has Liberty Mutual in Massachusetts and her premium is around 500. I just got my license two weeks ago and don't have a car, but want to be added to the policy so if I want to borrow it I'm insured. So around how much would it be just to add my name as another driver do you think? And if I were to get my own car, around how much extra would it cost to be added to the same policy?""

""What exact is whole life insurance, and how do life insurance companies profit from selling it?""

Agents are always extremely keen about selling my family whole life insurance instead of term. According to the agents, whole life is preferable to term since it does not expire and as a result the beneficiary is guaranteed some payment upon the death of the insured. However, why would the insurance company profit from such a setup if they are bound to pay back an amount that is at least equal to the total amount paid? I have tried to do some research on my own, but I still can't seem to fully understand this matter. Any help will be greatly appreciated!""

""As a 20 year old male, how high can I expect my car insurance to be if I drive a 2001 Mustang GT?""

Hello, I'm 20 years old and just now starting to drive. I've always commuted with my bicycle and it's kept me in great shape, but with school and a full time job, I can't be every where on time! So now it's time to drive! So, I visited Geico's website for an insurance quote, and I received the following; Start Your Policy Today for $107.65 plus 5 monthly payments of only $106.75 each 6 month total policy premium: $611.40 Is that too much, or does that sound about right?""

""Why is it called the Affordable Health Care Act, but it does very little to make health care affordable?""

there were many ways to make health care reform work, but all that this bill does is make the insurance companies richer.""

Cheapest place to get motorbike insurance?

hello im looking to get a skyjet125 ive got my CBT, this is my first bike where is the cheapest place to get insurance ? cheers""

Where do you get your insurance or financial information from?

(e.g. friends, family, websites..) Be specific. What are some ways to make it more convenient for people to get their information? Thanks!""

Low income health insurance in Missouri?

hi, I'm a 25 year old, male, non-smoker, full time student. I don't make a lot of money therefore I can't afford to pay for health insurance. what should i do? Is there anyway I can apply for low income benefit for health insurance? is there anything You can recommend for me to get health insurance cover? Thanks so much if you can answer me.""

I found an old insurance policy from 1970 and can't find the insurance company now?

I have the insurance policy number. It's Reserve Life Insurance. I can't find anything with just that name.

State Farm car insurance refund?

I had State Farm insurance. They raised my rate...I cancelled. After I cancelled they drafted my account for the amount due the following month. So I paid the new insurance and State Farm. I requested a refund for the amount drafted. They sent me a check for a little less than half of what they charged me. Wen I asked why, I was told that they had to charge me for insurance I had on my cars from the first to the sixteenth of October. The draft occurred on October 20th. I am confused. When I began my payment plan I paid a month in advance. How did my payments become a partial month in arrears? Does anyone know how these payment plans work and how to get my money back? Thanks.""

Insurance is cheaper for me when i have a provisional licence but?

if i put a full licence in the qoute generator it goes up like triple the price .the reason im asking is because i want to buy a car to practice but im scared when i pass and get a full licence the insurance price will go up ridiculously.im a 20 yr old boy and want a vauxhall corsa or citreon saxo

Rover Mini insurance

Hi, im 16 years old and want to buy a rover mini pre 1997 as they have an airbag then, i wanted to know roughly how much it would cost to insure a 17/18 year old in a 1.3 litre rover mini. And im not a speed obsessed crazy teen, i would want to keep it nice and would not drive that fast anyway. Anyone know a figure?""

Whats the best auto insurance for new drivers?

Newly 20 year old and trying to be on her own and independent. Im currently under my grandparents insurance(GEICO). I believe i got a good deal with Nationwide which would be 274.00 a month with full coverage and rental... Im looking to buy a 2008 infinti G37 sports coupe for $26,000< so excited about it hopefully i get it. I just wanted to know what should i be looking for in auto insurance... i def. need full coverage because im going to be financing the car..Correct? but yeah what are some things should i look for. i would ask my family members but they are stubborn, when it comes to things like this... but thanks!!! :)""

What are tips on getting the cheapest car insurance?

...like I think you are suppose to have $1000 as opposed to $500 or $5000... I have a good driving record and I recently bought a house (so I'll probably have my house insurance with the same company)

What is cheap car insurance for a new driver?

I am a new driver and I need insurance for a Jeep Grand Cherokee 2000. I am a student and I need cheap insurance

Am a 20 year old female how much car isurance should i pay?

i mean of course i can go on insurance companies and check it out but they take too long! i want to know how much should i pay for a 1.1 or 1.2 Corsa or cleo for my age and i have only had my licence for 2 months. whats the average/ lowest / highest should i pay? btw i know am a good and responsible driver, i don't drive to show off, i drive for my pleasure and work :) UK answers please""

Lady friend totaled my car... How will my insurance go about covering things?

My friend borrowed my car & crashed into someone. She totaled my car (I got the car 6 months ago & I have $8150 worth of payments left on it) & did about $2000 worth of damage to the other car... She was in the hospital for 3 nights HOWEVER I believe she was kept for that long because of some other health issue she was having that was not caused by the accident. She's NOT going to pursue my insurance for medical coverage. She does not have a vehicle or vehicle or vehicle insurance. The other driver was not admitted to the hospital, I don't believe. We have the same insurance company. My friend was 4 times the legal alcohol limit when she was checked at the hospital following being taken there in an ambulance; however she was never checked by a police officer & issued a DUI. She was only issued a ticket for rear ending another vehicle... It goes without saying I am furious with her. I don't believe we will be in too much contact from this point forward unless everything works out good with this situation. Do I have much to worry about the hospital checking her BAC? I have heard that the only way the insurance company will find out all that is if it's in the police report. How will things be handled? I will sue my friend as a last resort; however she has NOTHING literally. I live in Florida.""

Non-owner car insurance?

Where can I get non-owner liability car insurance for myself? I am 18 years old and my dad wants me to get this insurance because I don't own a car, I just drive my parents cars. I can find it on any insurance websites. Links would be nice =]""

Registering and insuring a car for a teenager?

This may vary from state to state so for the record the state is Connecticut. When you get a car for your teenager, would you register and insure it in their name or yours? When you call to add the car to insurance, do you add the teenager or just add the car to your own policy? My husband and I are confused about how this works. Our twins who are turning 16 this year were given a car by a friend of ours. We want to make sure it's all done legal and legit so that if they were in an accident it would be covered. I thought you had to add the teenager to your insurance as in the person is covered not just the car. My husband thinks we can just ad the car to our policy and let them drive it and they will be covered. I don't think so, Otherwise why wouldn't everyone do that to save the money they charge when you add a teenager? They will be taking driver's ed which is supposed to help with insurance cost so that leads me to think even more that you need to add the teenager as someone to be insured and not just insure the car. can anyone help me out here as to what the proper thing to do is to make sure we will covered properly. And who's name should the car be registered in? Can you have a car registered in your name as a minor or not? thanks""

Cost of getting Insurance under parents car?

Hi im 17, living in Ireland and I want to get insured under my mothers car which is a 2005 skoda octavia with the 1.4 liter engine does anyone know how much it would cost because ive been saving up but not sure I have enough. also I only have a provisional license. thanks""

Does car insurance decrease in price after a certain age?

for example, when you are 15-16 is it more expensive than when you are 17 or 18? when does this change?""

How much does it cost for insurance?

Im turning 15 and im getting a ninja 250 but what company and how much? no negative awnsers plz

Fast old car that isnt cost millions to insure?

I am 17 i understand that the insurance on a very fast car would be millions! but i was wondering does anyone know an old fastish car that the insurance isnt tonnes and tonnes of cash in the UK

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-equine-medical-insurance-kevin-wildermuth"

[somedaypast-thesunset]

i feel neutrally tired about all of this. you know, i’m not angry or sad or stressed, i’m just kind of tired of this whole routine. it’s become glaringly obvious that this man is very very spoiled and ungrateful. 

yesterday was a fine day. he took me to the farm to get a pumpkin like i asked. he bought me food and was overall really nice and in a good mood - he was focused on pei and the things he would do or need for his trip. i felt comfortable and relaxed despite not even having weed and not having much sleep. 

this morning when we woke up, we had sex and i went about my morning - made a tea, had a smoke and he had a shower. he asked his mother for the survey plans for their cottage in pei so he knew what to prepare for when he wanted to build this garage (the whole 6 month master plan’s goal). she said she would have to look. this set off a chain reaction - he went to look for a crock pot the family owned but he had never used ad couldnt find it immediately, when his mother offered cookig advice he freaked out ad then when she asked him about a few set of chores he was supposed to do, he freaked out again.

at this point i had literally spoken no words from when we had sex. i was just passively floatig throughout the house, gathering my things just to be organized. i went to look at what he was actually making and he said something like “i’m going to drive you home after this i want to do my own thing and i dont want to be around you”. to be fair, he couldve said “people” - i’m ot entirely sure what i heard but it more likely sounded like you. i simply turned around, got my bag from downstairs, got my stuff from outside and walked home. i did not even reply or say goodbye - theres not even a point. like i would get either some argument about how he said he would drive me home or a grunt goodbye; both still equally rude replies. 

but i was kind of proud of how i reacted very immediately and without hesistation. i didt think like ~what would he want or ~whats appropriate to do. i just did what i wanted to do which was leave. it wasnt like oh i think id like to sped the day alone, do you wat a ride home - it was just ‘fuck off’ without being ‘fuck off’. and i don’t deserve that. 

on top of this, during sex he asked outright if anyone else has touched me. not like ~oh no one else ca touch you or ~would you let anyone touch you - just outright ‘have you let anyone’ and its not a light thing. its not joking. if i said yes it would hurt and we’d probably stop. but the parameters he stil puts forth is that he “cant” cheat. but what about me? and why am i used like this? i literally spoke _no words_. 

its very unhealthy. and i dont believe its about me. i’m glad ive come so far in personal relationships that i am able to seperate myself from them and not take things personally.and like i do feel “used” but its not like this is the absolute worst part of it. he said to me, “you havent been around long enough - this is what i do, im excited about something until im not and then i drop everything and go to the next thing” -- as if i havet been witnessing this the entire time weve been together. its all one exciting thing to the next and nothig is ever what its hoped to be. 

and hes very negative. which i guess is a bit ironic coming from me. but everything - everything sucks. and like to its greatest pit of whatever terrible thing it could have. you know - “king of the losers”. acknowledging that “i’m” okay but its really just being on top of a pile of shit. 

its just.. its getting too hard to remain optimistic about a future with him. whatever my life is doesnt affect him nearly as much as his does me. my whole life is built around being available to him and i was okay with this becuse it was like “investing” in a future i wanted to have. or i do want to have. i want a partner. some “family”. but i just dont feel optimistic like this is going to lead to idyllic happiness. not the way he sees it. and why should i spend my time following such a volatile perso who is unable to commit to anything. i guess it was easy to walk away because i thought like - what if i was across the country? what if i coulnt just walk away from this rude person and i was _stuck_? i dont want that and i guess if i dont want that, i dont want him. i’m just... too scared to live with him. like i want to live with him. i reall really do but everything in my being says omg no. no no no no. anyone i told that this was a thing would tell me absolutely do not move across the country with this person. its not like.. dont change. dont live somewhere else. its that this particular person is very ... not the right person to do this with. maybe i need to be a ifferent person too. maybe i need to be a very strong indpendent individual who works super hard and hustles lots of cash an then its all just fun and games and wooo life. but i cannot be dependent on this person. they are not dependable in any way shape or form. they are a fucking prayer. and in order for me to make such huge changes in life i would be very dependent on this person. especially right now. maybe in two years ill be a better version of me but the me right now would need a lot of hand holding an encouragement to make such drastic life changes and decisions. 

if it was plausible to just get a nice apartment in this city together - great. thank you. not even long term, lets just exist with each other before making giant life decisions. thats a marriage. with no commitment. i cant. i just cant. 

and you know - i’m very sympathetic. i know exactly what it feels like. to have no fucking clue what you want, where to go, what to do, who to be friends with, who to have a relationship with - i get it. i’m really confused too. and this is such a shitty time - i dont know if other times have been more shitty but this seems like a pretty shitty time after society going through so many wars in the past 100 years that have grown more powerful under the advancements and like we, collectively, are different people from 50 years ago so what was “right” and “good” 50 years ago is not relevant to today and we are floating without guidance. how do we survive now? weve evolved to a different mental state and we dont know how to nourish this. its like falling into great advancements with no mental capacity to understand their affect on the social psyche. 

theyre right.  the colective “they” - your parents have little to do with your chances. their social standing and coping amongst evolution to bring them to such standing has a lot more to do with your chances but if along the line you figure out your way of coping in evolution then you may rise above or find your own level of “happiness” which is mostly fulfilling basic personal needs. but when evolution continually transitions through different ways to fulfill these basic needs or possibly gives you even more ways to do this, it becomes more difficult to realize how you will find your way to cope in evolution. milennials are realy seen as weak and a joke; like re-branded hippies but focused on mental health and emotions, “refusing” employment to ‘feel better’ in life when there was a time when people just took any job because the only way to cope within that evolution was to exhance your service for money or boarding itself. thats not the case anymore. society evolved in such a way that this generation is capable of fulfilling may basic personal needs sometimes by just existing; perhaps their parents pay for food and shelter and provide them with clothing well into their “adult” years. many older generations started working to SURVIVE at 12 - 14 years old. our generation worked because “thats what you do” or to save up for an iphone. most of our grandparents worked to buy bottles of milk or to help the family or for their own vehicle but why save for one when your parents let you drive theirs anyways?

and again - it’s not the parents fault. it’s now easy in society for parents to do this. a large majority of parents, nd the majority leads the collective society. could my parents? no. but a lot of people around me did have parents that did this and my parents cared for me in other ways. society allowed them to breed children who would become introspective because they were no longer in such dire straits for survival. and older generations are upset about this - dont you know they had to want to die regularly to survive? why shouldt we? 

so as we gain this introspective into ourselves and “new” psychological ideas come up and vast people are “diagnosed”, it becomes harder to accept things which harm our psyche. so we get a big rise in racial inequality and gay rights and things which seem “liberal” but is simply termed this way because some people - maybe a large amount even, could not refuse employment and worked to survive even in this era. that was the generational hand down - exchange your service for money or starve. and theyre not “in the wrong”. other things affect how you build your coping tools - where you live, the climate of politics etc. maybe you realy just had to do that and there wasnt time to invest in this modern evolution of introspection. you dont have time to look within when youre starving on the outside. so this resentmet and bitterness builds between these two sides which may even exist in the same generation but neither of them is wrong. should one work to survive? probably. animals hunt most of their lives. we should probably work to survive. no one can just be handed food ad shelter forever unless you’re a very unique and special person in royalty. and 99.9% of us are not. but should we also kill our psyche? animals dont deal with smart phones and insurance rates and credit scores and bankruptcy. they just go out and take what they want and our society has evolved past this. so we cannot just assume you just work to survive when survival has been complicated. it takes a higher level of thinking which wemay not fully even comprehend at this stage in the evolution. 

i think psychology is very important because we dont understand why people are people. we dont know. we know why the sky is blue but we dont know why we are people. and not just psychology but science and the belief of how our being, our physical being on this planet came to be. we collectively have not agreed despite the very obvious misgivings of current theological theories. 

how or in what way should you survive on this planet? why are we required to exist as we are in this society upon birth. like all of these rules and obligations an responsibilities of being a “good human” are placed on you for the rest of your life and all you did was be born. all you want are basic needs fulfilled but you cant even do that until you acknowledge the land you were popped out on to does not belong to you so you abide by these rules now whether you want to or not. and thats just government and law but on this deeper spectrum its an obligation to be a ‘good child’ a ‘good citizen’ - pay your taxes, go to work, have children, buy a house; these are the quest objectives. but why? i think our generation is not the first to ask why but the first in a very long long time to ask why are we doing it this way. not so much why are we here. many of us have decided for ourselves. but why are we livingin society in this particular way and what can we do to survive in a society which is not designed to really benefit anyone. its not about that homeless man geting up and feeding himself, its about taking responsibility to feed that person. animals do a better job at this and we feel we’re in evolved thinking. 

society has become very convoluted and confused which has bred confusion in its most recent generation. ive lived a very unique life and yet feel the same way abou these things as my peers because the “temperature” of the environment is the same. its hot, we all know its hot an we’re trying to figure out ways to deal whether its running through a sprinkler, going to a public pool or looking ridiculous in a kiddie pool on your front lawn. it’s gross, it’s not a good time, no one wants to do anything and we’re not feeling it. and this evolution is like climate change. there is absolutely still people capable of coping under this stress, farmers still work, lumberjack still cut wood but theyre fucking miserable and they do it because theyre used to feeling like they want to die to survive. but its getting hotter and its getting harder and even though they feel it the only thing they know is to keep working until they cant anymore then die crippled and miserable. being popped out inexperienced and then thrown into a change which even the experienced are struggling with creates a lot of unrest. a lot of anxious and depressed people. 

what do we do? what should we do? you cant change society you can only follow the ebb and flow like flock of birds or schools of fish. this is how we cope as humans, to live as a society. and if society is in upheaval it directly affects the ability to easily obtain our basic needs. 

i used to feel envious of stupid people. like atleast they didnt ~know this shit. because this felt depressing. like being stupi would be easier and id be happier but those who choose to remain ignorant or passive hurt a lot and they struggle through some of the barest traps society has created durig this shitty time and now i feel sorry for them. spinning your wheels over and over, dragging yourself through the mud, throwing away money, living extravagantly and ignorantly but going absolutely no where. not going up, down, side ways - no where. i’m there too. i’m right there too on the train stopped at the station waiting to fucking go and we’re here nd we’re buying shit from the dining car and we’re chatting and excited but we’re not goig and we’re not really sure why and we’re all talking about why we’re not going but we’re still not going but hey atleast hey still got cookies. 

no one person is driving the train either. its like a group effort where everyone on the train has to believe youre moving forward for it to start but if one jack ass thinks youre not, then its a complete halt. 

life is hard but i dont think alot of people realize exactly how hard it is. im trying to learn to appreciate the little things. people with greater minds who had better understanding and less luxuries of the era coped with appreciating little things. taking bike rides in the fall in the nice downtown streets; it’s been a highlight of the season. painting in a studio this week; sure it was not glamorous or anything but i actively went out and created art with others. my room is neat and clean and organized. i did laundry with ease on my own time for free. 

i wasnt upset i “had to” walk home. i apreciated the fall weather & buzz of halloween approaching, time to think without screens of distraction, exersize and activity, the ability to buy cat food & cat litter. im not angry about it. i’m tired of being angry about a train im not really driving. if i can never truly conceptualize what i want because of society why keep trying. why cry over spilled milk. 

[valorousowl]

So I'd said I'd complain here. Because I want to. But I also don't want to. Under the cut because sensitive shit.

My father died two weeks ago on Sunday. I've made about 3 posts about that. Last week we had some funerary services. Mom is having a month long wake for people to pay their respects to his ashes which will be mixed with hers following her death and then buried together, likely in the Military Cemetary in Pennsylvania where her brother is also buried.

I performed some of the services, reading

Psalms over his remains from his Lutheran service book at my mother's request. I also said prayers over his remains a few times and blessed a cross she's received as a bereavement gift.

Other than that we just spent a whole lot of time together, not enough, and talked a whole lot.

This is thw second funeral I've been at in 6 months. In may my Uncle Jack died and if home down briefly for that. An aunt had died cut In that time, Ngoc, but I wasn't close so I ended up not going/not invite to her funeral.

My sisters at that time, had been quite angry that id gone to his among other things, despite the fact he'd been like a second father to me and always looked out for me during high school.

To make things simple I'm gonna bullet what they did last time under their names.

Page

Bitched a lot about me choosing a nonblood relative over a blood relative

Had a whole homophobic* rant about it not being fair the family accepts my wife but not her girlfriendbeating, childabusing, alcoholic, lazy, boyfriend.

Ended up leaving me until way after the funeral ended because she was pissed at me. My other sister had to get us and take us to the after part.

Not great but not bad comparitively.

Hillary

Ended up showing up late to pick us up from the pick up location in Ithaca. I literally can't give her my address it's that bad.

I had to drive us down. She'd programmed her gps, two of them, to give conflicting turns so the other was no help when I got lost after Harrisburg.

Wanted to sleep at a rest stop parking lot only halfway through, this is the DAY OF the funeral.

Literally started screaming at me for getting lost and said "I drive like a man"

Told me she'd kill me for transitioning when I joked that I can't drive like a man when it's so expensive to transition**.

Repeated it, making sure I looked her in the eyes, in front of a witness, that she will kill*** me if I ever transition.

Tried to drop in unannounced at 6 am at the mother of the dead aunt to pay condolences. Even if I'd been invited that'd be supremely rude.

Immediately went to sleep when we arrived about an hour or two BEFORE the funeral.

Continued to hang all over me and call me ungrateful for not visiting for almost 4 years before this.

That was last time.

This time she did something worse, and what makes it even worse was the fact that it was our FATHER.

I know it shouldnt matter because family is family but she was there when he died and had tried to get ahold of me at work before it was too late. All of this made me think she was at least acting like a decent human being. I was wrong. I know people process grief differently and I'm no different, im still fluctuating between denial and anger and even mom is pushing it far from her mind so she doesn't have to face the reality of it. But there's certain things that are unforgivable.

Page in comparison was really kind, so anything she did out of frustration I'm skipping this time because she made an effort to be civil.

Hillary

Lent us her bedroom which was nice, except she was in there all the time. Like not to get stuff she needed she was just hanging out in there all the time. And I know you're thinking "It's her room, stop being an asshole!" Except it brings me to point two. She'd especially do it after picking fights, so that literally we didn't have anywhere to get away from her. She'd do this when I lived there too, except she'd do it in MY room, which had literally no way of locking her out as we shared one connecting door that only locked in her side. She does this for attention so she cannot be ignored.

We went out to her work, where she introduced me to Everyone as her daughter. There's about three problems there alone, but I had to be polite to her co-workers. She did so so she could basically just mooch off the free samples. Which they all commented on, pointedly.

Afterward she had me drive just to start an argument about politics, literally took me down several new roads I didn't know, and got mad when I wouldn't make the turns instinctively and made me make what were basically illegal turns. She made up for this by buying my therapy cat some things at Wal-Mart including a fidget spinner****. Then stayed in our room for three more hours.

The next morning she acted like nothing had changed and said we were going out to eat. We went to The Green Dragon which is a fancier Asian buffet with a variety of dishes. It was nice. Until she started discussing politics LOUDLY. It wasn't that kind of restaurant, it was mostly older people, like 80% 60-80 year olds on the early bird special, not somewhere you want to talk politics in rural Amish country Pennsylvania.

I told her three times, we aren't talking about that here and now.

She insisted she was talking to "My friend*****"

I told her neither of us wanted to talk to her about it so she dropped it for a while.

It wasn't long before she was back on her bullshit. She went on about infowars or some shit. (She doesn't like him, per se, but she's a "conservative in a gay hat" type) and how it was hilarious to see him get ripped apart over "Michael obama"

I tell her it's pronounced Michelle. She replied "no it's not! He's really a man, haven't you seen?" And extrapolated from there. I told her she can't call women she doesnt like men just because she doesn't like them or isn't attracted to them. (She does this)

At this point, she continues on about how Michelle is "a transgender or whatever", not really a woman, had a penis, and even without my biases, she still is SHOUTING THIS IN A PACKED RESTAURANT FULL OF OLD PEOPLE IN RED PA

I tell her to back off because she doesn't know anything about trans people and maybe she should just not talk about it because I'm not going to talk to her about it. To which of course she replies that she knows so much better because she knows lots of """"""real trans people"""""

She goes on about how they're disgusting, they smell bad, they're bad people, she outed her friend who I didn't know was trans and said that she (She managed proper pronouns for her at first then reverted to calling her a man) forced her to support her even though she was *insert insults* and even went so far as to call them... rather us, mentally ill freaks.****** She insists we wouldn't have high suicide rates of we didn't "pretend to be the other gender and accept what we really are!"

I'm done. I've had enough. I just get up and say "I'm going to the bathroom" and I literally walk away and lock myself in the family bathroom. While I'm gone she asks what my problem is and my wife tells her off, basically that she doesn't get to decide anyone else's journey for them, it costs 0.00 USD to respect people's identies and not be a fuck. To which Hillary says "don't tell me she's one too" which I'm not annoting because I've already made two notes on this. Rowan tells her "It's not my story to tell,"

"That tells me all I need to know." (Yeah no shit Sherlock you were told outright)

Rowan says she's gonna check on me, so Hiillary tells her "well, tell her her mother's dead. She doesn't have one anymore."#

##

So I'm having a breakdown in a public bathroom, on the phone with my mother, because she has humiliated me and outed me to a restaurant of strangers, and she still keeps us out with her for another hour past leaving the restaurant even when I said I wanted to go home.

She immediately tried to retract and say that first off, "[I] don't understand how hard it is and [I] don't understand the choice [I'm] making" I am not talking to her about this.

She insists she'll always support me. I want to go home.

Here's where she actually took I to Wal-Mart. Rowan has reminded me this is what the Wal-Mart trip was to make up for. On that note. She tried again to say she'd "always support me and I know it". I reminded her she told me last time she said she'd kill me over it. She denied it and I told her I still had logs to which she said "ugh, okay whatever!"

This all led to outing me to the REST of the family, which thank God they took better than her. They admitted they didn't understand and hoped I'd get lots of doctors who could help me transition safely with my health issues. Overall it was better than expected but I'm the second openly trans member of the family.

She continued to say that I hold grudges and I shouldn't be so sensitive among other things but that's really all I have the spoons for. This took three hours to write as is. So yeah, additional notes are below. This is why I will never live in PA again and never live near her again. All of this when we were supposed to be mourning our dead father.

*Its homophobic from perspective because I'm only out as a lesbian at this point.

**She is a (closet-bi) lesbian who has been told twice at this point that I'm trans. She's said I'm confused. I don't know what I am. She didn't give birth to a boy etc.

***This is about the third time in my life she's told me if it was up to her she'd have killed me. She said she wanted to abort me, she said if I'd been a boy (xy) she would have. She says if they wouldn't let her, she'd have smothered me coming out and as it stands as a "girl" (xx) she planned to orphan me if mom hadn't told her to being me home.

**** I don't even know. She insists cats love fidget spinners. Mine doesn't care.

***** I don't have to explain why this is fucked up. But I will. If you havent had this situation happen to you, regardless of sexuality and presentation, it means that person who is so important to you to be your significant other, does not measure up. Other than dehumanizing them it's just in general a shitty move. And when they dont even use your SOs name it's clear they're seen just as an accessory of you.

****** y'all remember I've already told her I'm trans? I have the Facebook logs from that convo still.

#I got sick of counting stars, so we're switching to hashes. I'm adopted. Hillary is my biological mother and we were both adopted by the same charitable lady. Her statement doesnt make a lick of sense, mother is at home. She constantly tries to insist she's my mother after all of the above and more I can't even go into here.

## If I knew all it's take was coming out as trans for hee to disown me, I would have much sooner. Soon than I did. She'll forget this in less than six months likely. Because I'm not important enough to expend memory on. I'm marginally okay with this.