#one million psychic damage points

[projectdivaar]

pablo honey wuld kill him immediately

[the-knife-consumer]

Original images and max by himself below cut

[transmascutena]

oh god episode 33 jumpscare from my queue

[crescentpaws]

pretty much any kotlc ship can fit into one of these categories:

1. i am so normal about them (lying)

2. i like this ship

3. i don’t actively ship them but fan content is cute sometimes

4. neutral. literally no opinion. i have no thoughts about them

5. i don’t ship them but i’m glad to see other people having fun with it

6. don’t really like them

7. i take 1 million psychic damage from hearing this ship mentioned

bonus: divorced (i don’t ship them but i accept that they might have dated at some point)

[yuurivoice]

Im so sorry but is Al's hair naturally black or pink?? I feel like the obvious answer is black but if I remember correctly (again, could be wrong) when jackie drew his dilfy designs his roots were pink. I just dont wanna assume error 🙏

The psychic damage I am taking from these questions is immeasurable and we're going to hit a point where I'm either going to just not answer certain things or I'll end up imploding. 😂

In the beginning...I just wanted a pink haired fuckin guy. I was using anime logic. His hair was pink. There was no thought beyond that because he's a two-dimensional fictional lad. It simply was.

Then came the questions. God. The questions.

Does he dye his hair? Why are his eyebrows black? Is his natural hair color black?

Those were dark times.

BitterSweet Chapter 3 created an opportunity for Dark Mode Alphonse, and we established that yes.....his natural hair color is black.

Today I was asked the pedantic question about Al's body hair...which just about took me out, but we made it through.

Now this.

Bubba his hair looks that way because I thought it fuckin looked cool. The rules of real hair, what his natural hair color is, and any other such business can suck my cock. He is a 2D dilf designed to look as fuckable as possible...why in the name of GOD are we worrying about his natural hair color?

Mind you, we have canonically seen black haired childhood Alphonse in photos twice. Two different pictures, even! 😂

Is there some boogeyman out there heckling people for being "wrong" about things like natural hair color? Is someone wagging their finger or being a shit about accuracy in depictions in fanart or something? Because it sure as hell is not me, and it shouldn't be anyone at all because none of that shit actually matters.

Yes his natural hair color is black. He's got pink highlights I guess? It looks cool, so that's why it is what it is.

I think there is a fundamental difference in the way I personally engage with shit that I like, because I cannot comprehend or envision a world where I would ever approach the creator of a thing to ask a question like this, or would even wonder about those details because they are so miniscule a thing to ponder when you could be spending time considering, imagining, creating a million other things that are vastly more exciting and intriguing than being correct about a fictional character's natural hair color.

I'm not upset with you, or angry, none of that. I'm befuddled. Absolutely bumfizzled. Questioning my sanity, because I am so far removed from caring about this sort of thing in regards to fictional characters that the rift is unfathomable.

If questions like these are inspired by an anxiety about being correct, I implore you to be wrong more often. You'll quickly find that no one of import is actually going to care, and you'll get out of the way of your own enjoyment of the thing. I don't know if there's some sort of widely held opinion in fandoms that being this granular is necessary, but it certainly is not the vibe in this neck of the woods.

This has been a long and unexpected installment of Old Man Yells At Cloud. 😂

[deepdrownlamentt]

hello hi beloved love of my life im sorry (im not sorry) for contributing to your masterlist turning into an alcohol menu but hear me out, tequila and phantom/specter/lumen (your horny your call whichever is the most pathetic and subsequently funniest) being jealous

the catch is that the thing that they're jealous over is so TRIVIAL like a new otome game? your pet??? your mom??????? theyre a wet sopping mess and im here for it

↬ courier, specter, and tequila jealousy hcs

content warnings: none

note: the emojis are actually dealing me psychic damage but i like writing dumb things so i will oblige........ sorry for the delay i am being slaughtered out here!!!!! get me out of uni!!!!!! i just want to vibe in peace!!!!!!

i think tequila May be a liiiiiittle ooc since i haven't . looked at his voicelines in a million years . and mine is trust 0 . but anyways i hope u enjoy !!!! xoxo etc

↬ COURIER doesn't think of himself as the type of partner that needs to constantly hog your attention, nor does he think himself so busy that he would leave you wanting. there's a certain balance to it, that much he's sure of — but he can't quite help but be disappointed if he finds something else occupying your mind when he finally has the time to hang up his coat freely and spend it with you.

↬not that he's quick to show it on his face, though. he's long since felt comfortable enough with you to drop any pretense of a fake, customer-service smile in your presence, after all. even then, it's very much clear from his raised eyebrows and confused blinks that he's rather surprised. or confused.

↬ perhaps he's gotten just a little spoiled by you — to the point that going for how many minutes without hearing the padding of your footsteps as you come over to greet him leaves him feeling a little odd. maybe you were busy! he rationalises to himself. maybe you got called away for a last minute meeting, and he just missed you on your way out—

↬ that is, until he hears the telltale little sound effects from a game on your phone you've told him about lately, and lo and behold, and his chest does a weird thing where it flutters and sinks all at once. on the one hand, he's glad it's just a game that's stolen your attention. on the other hand... it's just a game? he won't say anything, but if you notice anything for the next few days — going on more missions with you, or cooking you even more of your favourite foods than usual — then maybe the discreet little glances he spares your phone, making sure it's silent and face-down on the table, have something to do with it.

↬ it's rather preposterous to think that LAURENTINA would "stoop to so low a level," she says, that she would get jealous of something so minor. rather, she enjoys monopolising your attention, you see — and for your little predicament to steal your gaze away from her, well... that won't do, won't it?

↬ she teases you much more often, especially when she finds out what exactly it is that's distracting you lately: lingering touches on your shoulder or waist, sickly sweet calls of your name, or even her plucking your phone out of your hands with a sly little shark-toothed smile.

↬ if she really feels up to it, she might tease you more about your little distraction, too: oh? you want my attention, dear? i thought that little game of yours enraptured you much more. she loves watching the way you squirm, hearing how you hem and haw as you think of a response.

↬ of course, while she acts like she's above jealousy, she can still feel it simmering a little just under her skin — it's why her little teasing prods at you have become more frequent, though there's never any real ill intent behind any of them, and she's very intent on making sure you don't misinterpret her intentions. after all, she wants you to see what you're missing out on, not drive you away entirely!

↬ much like specter, TEQUILA claims that being jealous is "silly" — though it doesn't stop the exaggerrated way he pouts when your gaze is drawn elsewhere... at your phone, specifically. he doesn't seem the type to take it too personally, but as he jokes about oh, i didn't know your game was more distracting than me, there's a part of him that wonders what it would take to take your attention off of it entirely.

↬ there's a chance he might ask you on more dates than usual — even if it's something as simple as a late-night walk together, or chatting at the bar as rafaela prepares you drinks. there's also a chance he might be a little more physically affectionate than usual: his hand around your waist as you walk, resting his chin on your shoulder from behind as he watches whatever it is you're doing at the moment.

↬ in the end, though, the part of him that thought all of this was silly wins by the smallest, smallest margin; he might even ask you about it directly, if he gets the chance. and if you decide to gush about it, he listens with rapt attention — if you have a good time with it, then he's happy that you're happy, or something along those lines.

↬ but just for his sake, to appease the part of him that wanted to steal your attention back, it may be worth it to reassure (or maybe even tease) him a little in turn. just for the hint of satisfaction he might get for winning over pixels.

[dykesbites]

actually quite tragic bc the first two lines are bangers. and then the next two are one million points of psychic damage. you cant be talking like that ftm baby...

[fair-dinkum-mechanic]

I scrolled through the tag I have for my cat and went way too far back to 2013/14 and instantly took one million points of psychic damage

[cringedog]

will no longer be writing anything anymore because i looked at my first draft and took one million points of psychic damage

[zepumpkineater]

Hypothetical Portal 3

I'm writing this down mostly just to say that I DID, it's an idea that's been floating around in my head for a while so I'm gonna try to outline it.

Story

Game begins immediately after Portal 2 ends, Chell is wandering aimlessly, wondering what to do with her newfound freedom (and where are all the people?)

Wheatley crash lands nearby, heavily damaged but somehow still functional. He gives very many hastily thrown together apologies, his processor is scrambled by the landing and he's 100% certain Chell is pissed with him.

Despite having conflicted feelings, Chell still takes Wheatley with her. Better than wandering around with no one at all. Eventually, Chell comes across the ruins of a formerly Combine occupied city, complete with a citadel-like superstructure.

Ruins of battles fought in a distant past are still visible, the skeletal bones of Resistance members lie in the streets. The corpses of Combine soldiers can also be found, their armor pristine despite thousands of years of exposure. (Chell also probably gets a gun here, thinking a beat to shit USP Match but functional nonetheless. The resistance had like a million of the things.)

Combat, puzzle solving, etc. Chell eventually comes across a still working Combine terminal and plugs Wheatley into it, something he surprisingly volunteered to do. Maybe he still feels bad about the whole trying to kill you thing?

A sequence occurs where Wheatley is upgraded into being a half city-scanner hybrid, with the back end or "tail" of a city scanner welded to his form, allowing him to fly. No more carrying him around.

Also, the portal gun gets an upgrade. It works on most surfaces now. No more moon rock exclusivity for you.

Much of the game from here on out would be solving puzzles both in the combat sense and pure puzzle sense, think a mix of both Half-Life and Portal's gameplay. Of course, portals would have their own combat application.

I also want Chell to keep a journal, detailing her thoughts about certain things, also filled with drawings of things she's encountered.

Chell will also encounter now ancient murals to Gordon Freeman, leaving her to theorize and speculate on who he was, and why he must have been important. Wheatley also has plenty to say about the subject, but still has no idea what he's talking about.

At some point in quieter moment, I want Wheatley to give a proper apology to Chell and reconcile their feelings towards each other.

Possibly a villain in the form of an awakened Combine Advisor? Chell accidentally wakes one up from a deep hibernation, unfortunately this Advisor is still under orders to maintain the occupation of Earth and begins trying to revive what remains of the Combine in the area.

Skeletal, half dead but still loyal combine soldiers, kept alive by their various augments that prevented certain vital organs from decomposing. Weaker than their prime, but still eager to kill.

Rough outline I have for an ending is Chell meeting a very old sage Vortiguant who's physical body is heavily aged and barely functional, but he's still a psychic powerhouse. He communicates telepathically and is nearly one with the vortessence, only keeping his physical form anchored to serve as a guide for any would-be survivors wondering what happened.

He will serve to fill in the gaps of Chell's knowledge, throughout the game she would be piecing together exactly what happened to Mankind, and the Sage Vortiguant will confirm and deny many things.

Chell learns humanity captured the Borealis and used it to open a gateway to a world where the Combine couldn't follow them. Chell is left with the choice to stay on Earth and eke out her existence here, or go to the new world, one possibly even more alienating than the world she finds herself in now.

Wheatley promises that no matter what she chooses, he'll follow her.

Gameplay

As mentioned earlier, a blend between both Portal and Half-Life. Chell gets a gun and probably a few of them, one handed as the Portal Gun will be taking up her left hand. It's also possible she could simply stow the portal gun on her back and switch to just a gun, but I want the portal gun and ballistic guns to be able to be used in conjunction with each other.

Many of the enemies will be Xen creatures, given thousands of years to roam Earth, they have fulfilled many biological niches and become a part of Earth's ecosystem. Many creatures are in a mid-point before making the next evolutionary jump to advance their species here in a few million years.

Portals will be used to get the jump on enemies and also aid in mobility, they can be used offensively as well as defensively. Of course, enemies can be displaced from their current position with a well placed portal, and killed with things such as fall damage, or sending them into a hazard.

Bullets can be fired through portals, but it works both ways. Any projectiles the enemy fires can also pass through portals, meaning the player must selectively and strategically place their portals.

Enemies aren't blind or stupid and will notice if a portal is opened behind them, so players must be quick to take advantage of using a portal quickly. Enemy AI will actively avoid standing in front of or crossing in front of a portal if at all possible. This does not apply to more animalistic enemies who don't have the mental capacity to understand how portals work.

Puzzle solving and platforming elements will carry over from Portal 2, Chell will have to find unique and creative ways to navigate the ruined city and navigate around hazards that bullets can't get rid of.

Misc.

General idea I have for Chell's design is she's still wearing her jumpsuit tied around her waist and has kept her long-fall boots. She now has a resistance beanie on her head, along with some armor that was still good enough to provide some protection. Fingerless gloves, as well. Hair is haphazardly cut, giving her somewhat uneven bangs as she couldn't find a decent mirror or a pair of scissors.

Wheatley is still damaged, chassis scorched from reentry and lense cracked, dents cover his spherical body but he's just as chipper (and stupid) as ever. The city scanner upgrade cleans him up a little bit, a new coat of paint but still beaten and battered.

I may add onto this post as more ideas come to me, but this is what I have for now.

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 93

Nord VERSE? Hmmm ... where's this going, then? Reboots? Oh gods ... a million dollar idea? Yeah, and worth NONE of the pennies ... an "impendent" woman? What's that, then? "Crusty" ... yeah ... ohj boy ... wow, even Ashley can't keep a straight face ... oh wow, this is just THOROUGHLY derailing itself ... that was ... yeah ... so awful ... XD

Matt's evacuating the seat! Alert! Alert! Aabria has arrived! Yay!

FINALE of the Crownkeepers? Oh fuck ... not a good sign ... not at all ... AAAAAAAAAAND just stright into it ...

Aabria vows to knock away Matt's Bless no matter what ...

Ojh boy ... Dorian and Dariax are the only ones with ANY idea of what's going on and even then the ain't seeing the same thing ... oof ... meanwhile the Spider Queen is DETERMINED to finish this NOW and it's really not good ...

Wow ... Opal is currently trying to TALK THIS EVIL DEMONIC BITCH OUT OF MURDERING EVERYBODY ... yeah ...

Yeah, reckon it's safe to sday Spider Queen IS scared. ALL the gods will be scared right now ... oh, so she's gonna kill two of them NO MATTER WHAT? Oh no, THAT'S not at all acceptable ...

Did Opal REALLY just SPRITZ the Spider Queen? You spritz Lolth? You spritz her like the cat?

14 points of Psychic damage? ARGH ARGH ARGH ...

She ATTACKS hope? Now that's just CRUEL ...

Dick-adjacent? Hmmm ... Morrighan, what are you planning? Oh, she's gonna cast Bane on the spiders? Okay ... yeah, do it, do it ... yeah, no, spiders are NOT insightful beasts ... ABSOLUTELY hits ... ooh, Divine Smite? Yeah ... no, spiders are just NATURALLY armoured, it's an exoskeleton ... a weird fluorescent purpleness? Huh? Oh fuck, she's ENRAGED IT ... and it's SPITTING on her ... shit! Oh thank the gods for that dex save ... that was almost SO BAD ... yeah, KILL that horrid beasty ... another Divine Smite? Yeah ...

"Fuck Aabria"? Yeah, 6th Edition IS "weirdly mean" ... LOL

Whoa! Inspiration! Always cool ... WHY are you fighting? Hmmm ... oh okay, a godly lore dump ... maybe not the BEST time for this ... oh, so it has direct relevance, of course it does ... Georgina? Oh yeah, Opal's original name, okay, that's cool ... also O.O ... gods yes, TELL HER!!! And now she's just getting WARNED OFF in immense fear ... wow ...

Dorian! Help you bro! Oh, so the Double D are inventing baeball? Hmmm ... Chromatic Orb? Whoa ... Doirian bringing out the big guns! Oh yeah, I should THINK 26 would hit to spider ... 17 points of Thunder damage ... oh wait, WHAT? And now Matt literally MANIFESTS Dariax ... oh wait ... NO, not Cyrus! Shit! Now HE'S taking all that voltage too ... fuck ... yeah, Dorian just IMMEDIATELY flies to his brother ... or AS CLOSE as he can get this turn ... bloody game mechanics! Wow, and now the illusion's REALLTY doing a major number on him ...

Fy'ra CANNOT see Opanl ... this is not useful ... oh boy ... offered an ultimatum by OMISSION by the Wildmother ... hmm ... DOES SHE give herself over ENTIRELY? Yeah, okay, this is just getting heavy ... godly familial discord ... hmm ... spending a ki point might do it, yeah ... oh yeah, Fy'ra is CRAZY smart ... okay, and now she's JUMPING ON OPAL HEAD-ON ... oh boy this feels SO DUMB for such a smart lady ... Step of the Wind, then ... and FIREBALL?!!! Holy fuck ... but Opal COUNTERSPELLS ... crap! yeah, I'm not surprised that Fy'ra's actually RELIEVED that didn't work ...

Fy'ra shouts "I accept!" and Dariax is now extremely confused ...

The Darkness is dispelled? Okay ... that's a relief, at least ...

It's Ted's turn? interesting ... yeah, Ted's just going to BACK HER UP right now, right? Please? Oh, right, sounds like that's NOT a good idea, then ... crap ... so Opal speaks to the others ... oh balls, THIS doesn't sound good, what's happening NOW? O.O No, not the Double D! Oh wait, no, that's not so bad ... make them make out, that's not so bad ... oh ... please be gentle,. Opal, please just ... do what you can ... "Just walk away. Go see Orym." Oh yes ... that might do it ... yes, this IS totally a mercy right now ...

Whoa ... the spell lasts for TWENTY-FOUR HOURS?!!! Holy fuck ...

NOW Ted's going ... oh shit ... a Crit Fail? Ouch ... yup, Ted's loose ... balls, no, not the reverse psychology ... oh yeah, she's TOTALLY unleashing on Morrighan now ... THREE attacks? Fuck ... one miss, but the next hits high and ... OH FUCK ... a bloody NAT20 ... 21 points of slashing damage from the first ... oof ... and another 23 points of THE WORST possible damage, that is some NASTY sounding shit ... AND a con save ... crap, yeah now she's POISONED ... the effects of THAT are pending, apparently ... but somehow she STILL has her Haste on ... amazing ...

Now it's Opal's turn ... very gently she casts Banishing Smite on her ... oh wow ... on the back of her knees? How the hell is she gonna do that? Oh, it doesn't hit anyway ... hmmm ... oh, so it DOESN'T cast yet ... but ... sdo wait, it's still primed but she can't actually USE IT? Huh? I'm so confused now ...

Dariax is DEFINITELY trapped in the spell, clearly ... so he's just casting Cure Wounds instead ... yeah ... 23 points back to everybody? Nice ... and now he's booking it away as fast as he can ...

Matt FINALLY remembers the Wizzkids plug! Yay!

Cyrus is being IMPALED by spiderlegs? Fuck ... wait ... is he DEAD?!!! Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!!!

The other spider jabs Morrighan while she's distracted? Ouch ... oh ... NO!!! NOT THE GEMS!!! SHIT!!! And now Opal no longer remembers her original name? Oh man ...

Whoa ... Fy'ra's taking a seriously LETHAL wound? NO!!! NO NO NO ... fuck this is so bad ...

Holy fuck ... Opal DOES NOT KNOW WHO TED IS ANYMORE?!!! SERIOUSLY?!!!

Oh what the fuck is THIS SHIT?!!! Oh that's just SO WRONG ...

Cyrus REALLY IS out? Fuck ... a Death Save with disadventage? Crap ... yeah, he is now DYING ...

The new MEGA spider atacks Cyrus ... an AUTO Crit? Really? Fuck ... no ... Cyrus is DEAD. Fuck ... no ... no no no ...

Morrighan IMMEDIATELY senses that, as she would, of course ... yeah ... oh man ... the Matron is HIDING the worst of the knowledge from her ... oh man again ... she pulls a Rabbit Hop and goes STRAIGHT for the big ass spider ... full charge ... two attacks, both hit ... another Divine Smite ... of course ... just the WRATH of the Matron ... yeah, she EVISCERATES this thing on the spot ... yeah, definitely, no glory, this is just COLD ... but she grabs the last of the dick gems, at least ... what does she see? What memories are saved?

Erica is just DESTROYED right now, totally ...

Yeah ... Cyrus was a moron, but he was OUR moron, and he was such a total sweetheart ...

Oh wow ... the fight's just GONE from her now, Morrighan just wants to run ... oh, that's ... FASCINATING ... so she takes Cyrus with her as she goes, because she's a Paladin of the Matron ... wow ...

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE indeed ... yeah, Dorian is just BREAKING ... his brother's dead, what do we EXPECT?!!! Yup, that's it, he's just leaving same as Dariax ... 7th Level Geass? Huh?

Oh, it HITS ... holy fuck ... this thing has to KEEP ATTACKING the Spider Queen for A WHOLE YEAR, without ANY chance to shake off the compulsion ..., holy fuck ...

Yeah, the Spider Queen is PISSED ...

But Dorian's grief is TOO STRONG ... wow ...

Oh shit ... how much IS Fy'ra actually aware of right now? Is she on her own in carrying on the fight right now? Opal is just BEGGING HER TO MESS HER UP AS MUCH AS SHE CAN ... okay ... this is about to go SO BAD ... wow ... Anjali is SO ANGRY right now, she really is ... whoa ... Fy'ra just GRABS THE FUCKING CROWN ... she completely NAILS the strength chekc ... are you kidding me is she REALLY just ripping that evil thing off right now?

Matt is so completely in the zone right now, clearly ... the boy has ONE functioning braincell right now ...

Negotiations? What?

Circlet of Barbed Vision? Wow ...

Oh wow, I love how snarky Lolth is all of a sudden ... XD

DO NOT roll below a 20, Anjali ... a TWO? What? Oh fuck ... wait, okay, maybe this is salvagable ... 9 points of piercing damage ...

So this is a take them both or not at all kind of situation? Interesting ... Intimidation check with advantage? Okay ... with Matt's help, then ... 21 ... nice ... oh wait, is this ACTUALLY WORKING?

Opal doesn't want this for her, but she has NO CHOICE in the matter right now ... oh yeah, this is just HAUNTING all of a sudden ...

Soooo creepy, Aabria ...

Oh yeah, that's it, there's NO WAY Fy'ra's leaving her now ... this is getting SO VERY TRAGIC ...

Wow, the Spider Queen REALLY doesn't like the Wildmother AT ALL, does she? LOL

Dariax is now AT THE BOTTOM of the cliff ... and he sees Cyrus dead ... oh fuck ... oh yeah, he's off, definitely ...

This really IS IT ... the end of the Crownkeepers ... fuck ...

And now for a very painful epilogue ...

Dorian and Dariax head for Zephrah ... yeah, of course they do ... they're just moving in silence, then ... okay ... then the Compulsion's gone ... hmmm ...

Yup, the bigger picture takes hold once more ... fucking Ludinus ... and then they're there, in Zephrah ...

NOW they finally get to start mourning at last ... ouch ... "tropes" ... oh, here we go ... ah yeah, here we go, BARD LESSONS ... XD

Matt: "It is awful." Aabria: "Fuck you, gimme a Performance check!" Matt (rolls): "It's not as awful as you'd think!"

Oh boy ... Dariax's first public busking session ... I am SO nervous right now ... wait ... what ... IS HE RUNNING OUT on Dariax? Are you kidding me? Please tell me he's not doing that ...

Oh, I see ... he's just being anonymous in the moment ... drinking it all in ... this place ... it's beautiful ... oh, and it's KEYLETH!!! Hey! And she SEES HIM anyway, even though he's invisible ... and NODS ... oh ... wow ...

And now THIS is where she chooses to call it for this session ... wow ... I mean it's beautiful ... but now Aabria's gone ... nuts ...

Time for a break, then ...

Soooooo ... it's just Robbie left, at the table ... hmmm ... I guess that means it's just Dorian and Dariax alone here, then ...

Keyleth's now speaking to him directly ... okay ... that's just so totally Keyleth, straight to mothering mode ... I love her so much ...

Here we go, yeah ... just tell her everything, Dorian, she'll understand ... oh yeah, could they get Cyrus' body back? yes ... good, that's good ... meanwhile these two DEFINITELY need to just recharge, clearly ...

Oh yes, and TOTALLY they need to get to Orym and Fearne ... yes ... but yes, rest and resupply, definitely ... and yes, of course she's happy to indulge them in both. I really do love her so much ... oh yeah, it makes total sense that Dorian responds so positively to this. Yeah ...

"A shared solace and grief" ... oh yeah, totally ... makes perfect sense ... meanwhile ... oh yeah, she's still got a lot to deal with, definitely ...

Dorian receives Orym's Sending Stone message ... wow ... and he responds: "I'll be there." Oh man ...

Oh, okay ... looks like this might be their chance to tag along ...

Ah yeah ... this is A LOT to dump on him all in one go, surely ... and an invitation, yeah ... he doesn't hesitate, either ... oh, here we go, resupply such as they can in the time, at least ...

The tree! Yeah, here we go ... and it opens up ... yeah, so they're going RIGHT NOW, definitely ... straight through, then ...

Ruidus in the sky ... great ... that's still as creepy as ever ...

"Seven figures"? Wait ... already? Really?

They're all there ... but ... no ... no, they're not ... that one's NOT somebody he knows. FCG's not there ... oh man ...

HERE THEY ARE!!! BACK AT THE TABLE!!! WITH ROBBIE!!!

Proper reunion ... it's been SO LONG, but FINALLY ... SQUEEEEEE!!!

Orym doesn't even WAIT, does he? He just jumps right on him. Fearn's close behind ...

Catching up ... yeah ... and now ... oh fuck ... broaching the subject of their loss ... their fallen comrade ... oh man ...

Ah yeah ... Evoroa ... this'll be interesting ... nobody here's seen a Bormodo, after all ... wow ... that is SO OBNOXIOUS of Dorian ... WOW ... but he likes her. Awwww ... :3

Yeah ... how DOES the situation lie right now? Yeah, reckon they COULD use some rest after what they just went through ...

oooh, this is NICE ... cosy comfy, just what the doctor ordered ...

Cool transformation ... yeah, she;s definitely showing off a little there ... points for a dramatic entrance, at least ...

Dorian tells them what happened ... yeah ... this is ... a whole lot of heaviness ...

And then the story of FCG's last stand ... man ...

Aww, the crystal dancer! Awwwwwwwww ... :3 Yeah, Dorian would TOTALLY love that ...

BOO PREDATHOS!!! Yes.

And now Laudna's pulling out dead stuff ... it's business as usual for Dorian again ... he loves her but she makes him uncomfortable! It's adorable! :3

Is he staying? Dorian: "If you'll have me." YAY!!!

Ashton: "This is how ska starts." XD

The conversation just got a whole lot more serious ... oof ...

Oh yeah ... Deni$e ... yeah ... XD ...

The pronunciation of Predathos ... oh, I love it ...

They need drink. Lots of drink. Drink is necessary ... much alcohol, please ... nice one, Ashton.

Ashton interrupts Keyleth and Evoroa's conversation. Hmmm ... wow ... that was brief and intense and ... interesting ... back to alcohol ...

Ah yes ... the changes in Ashton and Fearne both ... yeah ...

Yes. To Letters ... time to get shitfaced ...

And that is it for the night. Perfect place for it, really ...

Adn ROBBIE'S BACK!!! I'm so happy ... it's been TOO LONG ...

[chloecherrysip]

Just Beyond My Reach, There's Someone Reaching Back For Me (speculative mario movie fic, mario & luigi centric, around 3600 words.)

[OK SO i literally could not stop thinking about this post in the mario movie tag from last week, which turned into me trying to write out my thoughts about how the scenario could unfold, which then turned into me writing a full-fledged fanfic that's over 3,000 words long??? I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I've truly lost my common sense, but I just felt like I HAD to get this out before the movie arrives and their reunion is nothing like this in any way whatsoever.

This is a speculative fic of just one possible scenario out of millions, no actual spoilers; i'm working off info we've seen in the trailers/TV spots/promotions/etc, and all the characterization is based off those too, so it might ultimately be off-base. Please don't @ me after the movie comes out and get on my case about details being wrong! I AM IN THE PAST (and jealous of you in the future for having already seen it).

I present to you: A Version Of Mario & Luigi's Reunion in the Mario Movie That Would Cause Me Irreparable Psychic Damage.]

----

Mario hears him first. He would know that panicked yelp anywhere. 

By that point, he’s lost count of how many of Bowser’s minions he’s tried to interrogate as he fights his way through the airship. There’s so much shouting and clanging all around him, and his voice hurts from yelling loud enough to be heard over it, but he can’t stop. “Where do you keep prisoners? Have you seen someone who looks like me — but tall, skinny, and green? If you take me to him, I’ll go easy on ya, I swear—” 

it’s hard to tell if they’re just refusing to answer him, genuinely don’t know any useful information, or can’t actually communicate in a way he understands — probably some in each column. But he’s about to grab another angry Koopa by the shell and try again when there’s a commotion far off in the distance. The yell that echoes out to him is faint, but it tugs hard at Mario like a rope tied around his middle. Something from his memories, the nightmares he’s been having this whole adventure that he hasn’t told Peach and Toad about. Something instantly, certainly familiar to him in a way that few things are. 

His heart is suddenly lodged in his throat. He barrels his way past the troops and the Kongs fighting them, moving fast towards it.

The area of the airship he’s in starts to slope down further ahead, surrounding a huge open space that, judging by the flickering embers in the air and heavy heat that’s got him sweating through his shirt already, has a whole bunch of lava simmering at the bottom. On the other side of the chasm, there are a whole group of what look like angry blue penguins beating down some feisty stacks of Goombas with their bare flippers. There’s also what impossibly looks like a star, with a face and everything, beaming bright and doing twirling cartwheels in the air, giggling at the carnage underneath. And behind all that, he can see—

Mario reacts without having to think. He jolts forward against the railing, reaches a hand out, and yells as loud as he can. “LUIGI!” 

He can only see glimpses of his overalls and green hat at first amidst all the other chaos, but then pieces of the ongoing fight tumble further to either side, giving a clear view. Mario watches wide-eyed as his brother frantically swats away Goombas, shrieking and flailing his arm furiously when one snags some teeth through his sleeve until it comes loose. He looks terrified and a little queasy, but also very determined, even jumping in to help when one of the penguins gets pinned down. They seem to be working together. 

Luigi is here. He’s really here, alive and fighting and still in one piece. Mario isn’t too late. It feels like a 20 pound weight’s suddenly gone from his back that he hadn't even realized he was carrying around.

His yell is half-drowned out by the chaos, but Luigi’s head still snaps up, eyes wide and stricken and bright with recognition. “Mario?” He cries out, his voice cracking badly. He kicks another Goomba away and then starts spinning, searching the surrounding area with increasing desperation. “Mario!?” 

“Over here!” Mario wishes he had another raccoon powerup so he could just fly across the gap and reach him right then and there. He has to settle for taking off his cap and waving it in the air like a flag. “Luigi! Over here!” 

Finally, their eyes meet across the gorge. It’s not necessary at that point, but Luigi still tears off his own hat and starts flailing it around too overhead, as if just to make absolutely sure his brother knows where he is. “MARIO!” He shouts, his tired face instantly transforming into a relieved, overjoyed smile. 

“Are you okay!?” 

“Y-Yeah! I mean, define “okay,” but I, I'm not hurt or anything like — wait, how did you get here!? We’re way up in the air!”

Mario’s face already hurts from how wide he’s grinning. “Not anymore! And whaddya mean? What do ya think I’ve been doing all this time? Looking for you! You don’t think I could find you wherever you are, even if it’s a million miles in the air? Give your big bro some credit, eh?” 

A laugh bursts out of Luigi, surprised and shaky. Mario has missed that sound so much. “Right, right. I did think…I mean, I hoped, or…” His brother shakes his head, his voice failing him. He lets out a deep breath, so deep that it’s almost like he’s been holding it in ever since they were separated, still smiling like the sun. “I knew you would. Mario, you — look out!” 

Mario turns just as a hammer goes whizzing past his ear, tumbling down into the lava pit. He dodges the next one more capably and then catches the third one that comes his way. In one smooth, lightning-quick motion, he throws it back at the attacking Hammer Bro, nailing him in the face and knocking him out cold.

“Whoa!” He turns back to see Luigi staring with his mouth agape. “When did you learn how to do that?”

“It's kinda a long story!” There will be plenty of time to get into all the details about his adventure when he’s gotten Luigi safely out of an active warzone.  “What about you? I thought you were a prisoner here!” 

“I am! Or I was, I guess! We — me, and the penguins, and Lumalee,” he gestures wearily up overhead, where the blue star-thing is idly playing with a pinwheel that it somehow conjured out of thin air, “and the others — we broke out! We, ah, we’ve been trying to find a way outta here ever since, but this place is a maze and we need some kind of hot air balloon or one of those floating clown-car thingies to even get away in the first place, and—”

“Spinies at four o’clock!” One of the penguins shouts, at the same time that Mario yells “Luigi, on your left!”

Luigi jolts at the sight of the three spiky, spinning shells approaching fast. He jumps high enough to leapfrog right over them all, causing them to ricochet off the wall unexpectedly and careen off the side straight into the deep pit. 

“Nice, Weegie!” Mario cheers. “You always were the better jumper.” 

“Keep your head in the fight, soldier!” One specific penguin calls out to Luigi. He’s wearing a very fancy gold crown — probably their king? “We’re not done here yet!” 

“I know, I know, but look!” Luigi gestures excitedly across the chasm. “My brother’s here! He made it!”

“Good show! If he’s as brave as you said, he can help us beat back these dastardly troops once and for all! We’ll all see the light of day again soon!”

The rest of the penguins cheer, thrusting their flippers victoriously into the air, and then let out a wave of new, guttural battle cries. The Penguin King smiles over at Mario and salutes him before rejoining the fray. There are more of Bowser’s minions crowding the walkways on both sides, Mario realizes with a newfound wave of worry. He needs to get to Luigi now. 

“Stay right there!” He calls, starting to run alongside the railing. “Don’t move! I’m coming!”

“Are you kidding!? Wait!” Luigi starts running too, mirroring Mario. “I can meet you faster this way!” 

Mario laughs. “If you can keep up with me!” 

“You’re on!”

The road ahead of him is pure chaos, filled with attacking enemies and whooping Kongs and weapons flying every which way, but Mario runs. He runs until his heart burns, dodging and weaving, almost tripping here and there because he can’t stop looking over the gap to make sure Luigi’s still there on the other side, stumbling his way through his own gauntlet. The two areas are winding closer together, slowly but surely. They must meet somewhere. He’ll find it. He has to.

“Hey, Luigi!” He yells, breathless and happy. “Remember when we were fixing Mrs. McGrady’s sink a couple weeks ago and talking about the future? Did you imagine it’d be anything like this?” 

“Whaddya think!?” Luigi shouts back jokingly. “I-I mean, I imagined people being mad at us, but those were customers. There was definitely a lot less lava, and magic, and crazy green pipes that send you to places from your literal nightmares!” He laughs, which swiftly turns into a yelp when he has to dodge away from a red Koopa. The next words come out thicker, almost strained. “Mario, you, you’re really here, you — I missed you, I…”

Even with the distance and the distracting noise and the heavy breathing, Mario can hear the familiar tearing in his brother’s voice, and it pushes him to run faster. Luigi is so much braver than many people in their life have given him credit for, but he has a breaking point, and Mario can recognize it like the back of his own hand. Heck, he could use a good cry right about now too. They're so close. Just a little further.

He’s never been the biggest hugger — that title belongs squarely to Luigi, who always holds on a little too long, especially when Mario protests, swinging him up into the air until Mario has to grab him in a headlock and wrestle him down, both of them laughing by then — but he genuinely doesn’t know how he’s ever going to let go of his brother again once he’s within arm’s reach. 

“I missed you too! Every day!” He calls out, and if his voice cracks, well, that’s okay. “Hold on! It’s gotta be just up ahead!” There’s a solid wall coming up where they won’t be able to see each other across the way any longer, but the sharp curve of it looks extremely promising. “I’ll meet you on the other side!” 

“Okay!” 

The wall comes between them. Mario's finally in the clear, having left all the attackers in the dust. His legs and chest hurt, but it doesn’t matter. He's about to get his brother back. He feels invincible, unstoppable.

“I told you, bro!” He can’t hear Luigi at all any longer, but he shouts anyway, hoping the words reach him.  “Even if it didn’t turn out like we thought, it’s all gonna be okay! This is crazy stuff, but as long as we're—” 

Mario turns the corner and skids to a sharp stop. The words die in his throat, turning to ash.

Bowser is in front of him. 

The King of the Koopas nearly fills the entire space wall-to-wall, hulking and monstrous, even bigger than what Mario imagined. He breathes out an angry, deep growl that prickles at Mario’s skin, star-bright embers scattering in the air, the smell of burning getting stronger and stronger. But none of that is what Mario is focusing on. He’s frozen in place at the sight of Luigi, wriggling in one of Bowser’s gripped hands. A thick, scaly finger is coiled tight over his brother’s mouth too, keeping him from making any noise besides a variety of muffled, panicked sounds. 

“Thought you didn’t know him, Greenie,” Bowser says in a low voice to Luigi. “Wasn’t that what you said? Boy, you wouldn’t like what I usually do to liars. It involves fire — a lot of it.” His rows of sharp teeth part, just enough for a big exhale, tinged with molten heat. Luigi cringes, turning his head away as far as he can manage. He’s trembling. “But lucky for you, turns out you’re not entirely useless.”

It takes a moment for Mario to come back into his body, remember how to move and think. But slowly, his hands ball into fists. A voice erupts out of him that barely sounds like his own, grave and angry, angrier than he’s ever been in his life. 

“I’m only gonna say this once, ya overgrown turtle,” he says, shifting his footing into a fighting stance. “Let my brother go now.” 

Bowser looks down at him with a derisive sort of amusement for a long moment before laughing outright. "Give me a break, shortie! You’re even punier in person — 50 of you couldn't stop me. But that hasn’t stopped you from trying, has it? You and your little friends  — your pathetic excuse for an “army,” if that’s what you want to call it. But that all ends now.” 

As if on cue, Mario hears DK and a few other Kongs turn the corner, whooping and hollering, only to pause too at the sight of Bowser. “Let’s get ‘em! He can't take us all at once!” Someone says, and there’s a rush of new movement behind Mario. Bowser turns Luigi in his hand, holding him out a little closer to Mario with a shake of the wrist — a taunt. One of his claws pulls up just a little from the rest, the sharp tip arched and pressed lightly to his brother’s neck. The implication is clear. 

“Stop!” Mario shouts, half-strangled. He must sound serious enough that DK yells “hang on, hang on!” to his brethren, grabbing them with both arms and holding them back from attacking. On Bowser's other side, Mario can see the penguins watching what’s unfolding too with wide eyes. Even all the minions in the area have gone still, weapons lowered, waiting to see what Bowser does before making their next move. The space is suddenly quiet. 

The claw finally relaxes again. Luigi’s eyes are very wide, and there are tears on his face as he stares at Mario. He tries to say something, the sound of it hopelessly muffled against Bowser’s hand — an apology, or a plea, or simply Mario’s name. 

Mario is shaking. He grits his teeth hard, desperately tries to hold himself steady again. He hopes Bowser can’t see it — but there’s a gleam in the King’s eyes, and it couldn’t be any clearer that he does. 

“Do you know how long I worked on this plan?” Bowser says, his tone softer, more thoughtful all of a sudden.  “Orchestrating these invasions, gathering forces far and wide to serve me, taking the almighty power star for myself. I’ve wanted this for years!” His wide mouth curves up, plainly wicked and self-satisfied. “And now here I am, about to rule the world like I deserve, and a couple of useless, pipsqueak plumbers from who-knows-where think they’re just gonna waltz right in and ruin it for me.” Bowser chuckles to himself. It’s a dangerous, sharp-edged sound, echoing on and on. “Ain’t that a laugh, Mario?” 

Mario doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even know if he’s breathing any longer. All he can do is glare.

Bowser shrugs. The large fingers on his occupied hand flex ever so slightly, a slow, malicious ripple of movement, all the scales glinting in a wave. “You’re less fun than I thought you’d be,” he says gruffly. "What does the princess even see in you? A tiny little killjoy who loves ruining things for others. Guess it’s only fair I ruin something of yours to make us even."

There’s no further warning or fanfare. In one brutal motion, Bowser crushes his grip tighter around Luigi. His brother’s mouth is still covered, but the way he cries out is starkly, unmistakably pained. 

Mario’s vision floods with red. Something inside of him, the patient, careful part that was still desperately clinging to one last scrap of self-control, snaps cleanly in two. He runs at Bowser full-speed, fist cocked back, teeth bared. 

“I said LET HIM GO!” 

He doesn’t make it there. Bowser, grinning outright, moves so much faster than Mario would have ever guessed he could. He spins, and his tail comes out of nowhere. The impact is like an oncoming train, catapulting Mario into the nearby wall with a sickening crack.

There’s a horrible ringing sound in his ears. His head hurts. He hears Bowser laugh, followed by a roar and a burst of fire breath, awful-smelling and close enough to singe. There’s a lot of shouting, and panic, and thunderous footsteps, moving in a hurry. He can’t think any longer. Why can’t he think? All that comes to mind is—

(They’re fifteen, hiding in their bedroom with some smuggled bandages and antibiotics from the medicine cabinet because if their mom finds out Mario punched out a kid behind the school, she will LITERALLY murder him. Luigi wraps each bruised knuckle carefully as Mario winces and complains about the stinging ointment. His brother looks angrier than he’s ever seen him before, though, and that makes him quiet again in a hurry.)

“You want him so bad?” Bowser is much further away, his voice a distant rumble over the flickering flames. Get up, Mario tells himself. He’s gasping, struggling to push himself back up with useless, trembling hands. His legs feel numb. Get up! “Then come and get ‘em already!”

(“You never stop and THINK first, y’know?” Luigi shakes his head, badly trying to hide the tears budding under his eyes. “And now you’re hurt, and it’s all my fault, and — and I don’t need you to do stuff like that for me! I can handle it, e-even if you think I can’t!”) 

“Mario!” That’s Luigi, terrified and wheezing, finally able to talk again. An intentional decision by Bowser, no doubt, just to be cruel. Mario can barely hear his brother at all, and the sound of his voice keeps growing fainter. “No! Let go! MARIO!” 

(“What are you even saying? That’s not why I did it at all!” Mario insists, using his uninjured hand to flick Luigi’s nose with a few fingers. His affronted expression at that makes Mario laugh, and the motion quickly turns into them trying to be the first one to swat each other in the face without getting blocked. At least the tears are forgotten, which is what he wanted from the start. “Don’t ya get it? I know you can take care of yourself. But if anyone wants to hurt you, they’re gonna have to go through me first. I’M the big bro, and that’s just how it is forever.”) 

Luigi! 

He’s standing again, even as his body protests every pull and push of the way, even as he’s still struggling to open his eyes. Someone strong and furry offers some extra support on his right side. 

“You okay, man?” Donkey Kong asks. “Geez, that looked like it hurt. Hey, anyone have an extra mushroom?” 

Stars are flashing across his vision, but finally they fade away. There’s a line of fire in front of them like a makeshift barrier, slowly but steadily dying out. Sure enough, Bowser and Luigi are gone. Mario’s heart lurches hard against his ribs.

“Setting a devious trap for sure,” The Penguin King grouses from further away. “Using one’s own flesh and blood! Does that dastardly Koopa’s depravity know no limits?” 

“I’m fine. Never better,” Mario groans. He points past the fire. “He went that way, right?” 

DK blinks, looking a little uneasy. “Uh, yeah, but we should probably regroup first and — hey! Wait a second, you idiot!”

Mario’s already charged full-speed ahead, jumping over the flames. Others yell after him too, saying it's too dangerous, but he’s running anyway, chasing the smell of molten heat, the faint, far-off echoes of yelling that feel like pinpricks in his lungs. 

He knows it’s a trap. He knows. He just doesn’t care.

He already let Luigi literally slip through his hands once before. Heck, he isn’t sure if he’ll ever be able to forgive himself for that alone. No matter where he has to go, who he has to fight, how much abuse he has to take, he's getting Luigi back right now, and he's gonna pound that overgrown bully's face until he regrets every life decision that led to him daring to hurt Mario's little brother.

It can't be too late. He can't have screwed this up again. He'll do anything. Even if...

The feeling of something on his cap startles him out of the thought — the softest boop-boop-boop, like someone very small is bouncing on it. He assumes he’s just imagining things until the blue star-thing (Lumalee?) floats down further, easily keeping up with his top speed, humming what sounds like a lullaby. Mario gawks in its direction. 

“The biggest sacrifices are often the ones that burn the brightest, out in space,” it says, bright and sing-song. “Did you know that?”

“What are you even talking about!?” Mario yells. “Sorry, but I’m a little busy here!” 

It’s unbothered by that, twirling close enough to give his mustache a little, playful poke. “Not existing any longer is natural, inevitable. We all go into the light someday.” The way it’s staring at Mario is unnerving, as though this little, creepy star knows exactly what he was just thinking about. “You look scared of that. Are you?” 

Mario swallows thickly. 

“No,” he says. “If that’s the only way, then…” His eyes are burning at the edges, just a little. “If the people I love are safe, then it doesn’t matter what happens to me.”

Lumalee smiles a dreamy, thoughtful smile.

“Oh,” it sighs, little more than a breath. “This is going to be so much fun.” 

And then it floats away. 

Mario doesn’t have time to stop and wonder what that was all about. He throws himself deeper and deeper into the airship, even when a heavy metal gate slams down behind him to separate him from the others, even when the slabs of rock under his feet sink down into the lava from the weight and don’t resurface, erasing any way out. Mario thinks of his training, of Princess Peach and Toad cheering him on, of the exhilaration and hope he felt looking out over the Rainbow Road, of Luigi smiling in the warp zone right before they were ripped apart. He steels himself for what’s coming next.

Further ahead, he hears his brother call out for him.

Mario runs.

[whimsicalcotton]

.

i'm doing it i'm finally doing it. one million thousand points psychic damage

[decarabiandivorce]

Consider-

decarabian proposes to amos but it causes citywide controversy because the ring had massive gemstones and would cost the equivalent of a mansion in today’s society+ their marriage being expensive enough to set the entire city into poverty temporarily

Bonus points if they only invited the upper class/aristocrats/people close to them to the wedding, but many average/lower class citizens (especially nb) snuck in because there was more food in that event than the average person had seen in their entire life (additional bonus points if nb only recognizes amos years later because he saw her at her wedding)

GOD. okay so the idea of a ring that would cost a mansion made me take psychic damage. Then i actually looked up some rings and did you know the paris hilton ring is like 2 million? What the fuck. Why are rings so expensive. (my only prev experiance looking at rings is looking at simple ace and aro rings)

The real world Princess Diana wedding was millions of dollars and this fact is making me scream. The hell???? Her ring was 60 grand???? Why are rich people like this??? In modern money it would be 400 grand????

Amos thinks its a joke at first and closes the box. She's like "My beloved. No." She's sweating badly cause what the hell? Where did he even get something like this?

Okay now im thinking if they ever talked about proposals cause that's something you need to bring up to your partner. A lot of people don't want public proposals and while I do think that Decarabian would love parading around his partner- I think Amos is a much most secluded person.

"Want to get married?" She asks as they cuddle under a blanket, her heart beating loud enough for the both of them.

"Sure," he muttered back. That was something humans like to do, right? The only gods he knew of that were wed were the ocean ones near Liyue. Other beings embraced courtly love- based on flirting and dancing around the issue. "That requires a ring? Or two?"

"Three if I may put one on your finger," Amos whispers back. "Oh there are so many gems to think of. Cor Lap-"

"Ugh no not that one. Rex would never let me hear the end of it if either of us wore that one."

~~~

Realistically I think they would agree on something like this. Its still stupidly expensive but the design fits that of old Mondstadt.

As for their actual wedding, yeah it would be an Event. Amos is really nervous because she didn't tell any of her friends the guy she was seeing was DECARABIAN. They would have LOVED a heads-up. And the nobles knew that their god was walking among them but even they didn't realize the fair lady who reads in the library was COURTING HIM.

My own hc for the timeline is that being married made them both 'equals in power' and thus she got a longer live span than an average human. This, while it was great for Decarabian, wasn't so great for Amos when she had to outlive her friends. Thus NB and all her future rebels wouldn't be alive for a century or two.

[wambsgansroy]

You think you’re not paying rent by living at home but actually the one million points of psychic damage you take every day converts to the cost of a New York City studio anyway probably