#one man LARP session going 24/7

[flufflecat]

why didn't we get to see ford in his evil warlock era

[fireproofheart]

Hi ok I'm having the funniest writing idea known to man.

Primarily Mismag vampire larp AU. yeah not a vampire AU a larp AU. These motherfuckers are playing vampire the masquerade and arguing about larp rules 24/7. Philtrum is the most obnoxious storyteller ever and seems to be fully changing the rules based on which clans she's dealing with. Sam is the Prince obviously and just as obviously, Evan is her Hound referred to in the wiki as "the Prince's personal bodyguard, assassin and leg-breaker" K would be the Seneschal (ie. Sam's right hand man) which could also be fun bc typically the power dynamic is Prince > Seneschal, but I feel like K would want to be an old ass vampire and Sam probably wouldn't be, so they could do a fun little reversal of the traditional dynamic with K getting to be like an evil advisor who helped Sam become the Prince and doesn't aspire to that position (as opposed to constantly trying to kill her which would be the expectation). I also just think it's funny to have an easygoing Prince with a Seneschal who is like full deranged.

Jammer is a little trickier. I think he'd be good as the Sheriff because it involves mediating disputes among the court, this also means that he sometimes holds the leash of the Hound. But I think it's maybe more interesting if he's the Whip for Sam's clan which is like the person responsible for maintaining a united front among the clan, making sure their clan's issues are heard and making sure other clans take them seriously.

Highlights:

Everyone thinks that Sam is a figurehead for K. This is not true and leads to a lot of extremely delightful Sam pretending she isn't understanding the Implications of what someone is saying only to later use it to Obliterate them

Philtrum gets Evan in trouble because between sessions he literally out of game breaks into an abandoned factory bc he heard one of Sam's enemies (idk Axelby?) lives there in game and he wanted to understand the layout for a tactical advantage.

No one knows if Evan is actually Like That in real life, or if he just refuses to break character around anyone else in the larp

Nobody is happy when K gets talked to by the cops because he forgot he was in costume and wandered downtown covered in fake blood

Jammer is Trying (unsuccessfully) to learn the rules without actually having to read any of the books. People think that Evan and Jammer are conspiring all the time, but it's often Evan (who memorized the rules somewhat accidentally) reminding Jammer how combat works.

Jammer and K are always there early because Jammer is bringing snacks and K needs a million hours to do his makeup (there are prosthetics involved)

Evan and Sam always show up together. They always show up in costume. Sam always looks like she's going to the club. Evan always looks like he's stopping over after his last B&E.

[nobodies-png]

HC: Xemnas and the other Xehanorts love playing Animal Crossing.

Just because ACNH has been such a fuckin BEACON OF JOY in my life since it came out (even though I have no means of playing lol) i’m adding some general animal crossing Nort headcanons 

Master Xenahort :

He’d be a snooty goat, pretty obvious. All of his letters sound vaguely threatening and pretty creepy, but he also sends super rare furniture so it’s not like you can complain that much.  Whenever he’s in your town, all of your flowers are bound to turn black for some weird fucking reason. - no one knows if this is a feature or a glitch You have more chances of getting him to show up if you have a heart shaped pond for him to lurk around.

As for Xenahort playing Animal Crossing, weLL. Good luck getting this old boomer figure out how the controls and everything else works. He seems to like Isabelle a lot because “she’s efficient and a cute dog” but he ALSO likes Apollo and his litte “PAH !” catchphrase.  Xenahort could have a pretty gothic and aesthetic world if it weren’t for the fact that he struggles with technology. Also also the guy who’d listen to all teh fun facts Blathers has.

Ansem (Heartless) :

A jock/cranky boar maybe. The kind of villager you wouldn’t really give much thought about, he looks a little funky and emo but eh, it’s not a big deal - until you get into his house and see that it’s pretty much chaos. There’s furniture you’ve never seen and are those fucking GLOWING EYES in the background ? You don’t think you wanna know. Exclusively comes out at night when there’s literally no other villager awake and he’s never present during holidays or events.

Ansem wouldn’t even play Animal Crossing, ngl. He has 0 interest in the game and would most likely drop it after 10 minutes. Also why can he only call like ONE person in the attic ? Fucking whack, that’s not how phones work. Spends the entire time complaining about little things he doesn’t understand. Like come on, man they’re just funky talking animals, let them live.

Xemnas : 

A lazy wolf. More quiet and lethargic than actually lazy. The guy is pretty quiet the first days UNTIL you start befriending them, then you’ll discover that he’s actually a fucking chatterbox. You can find Xemnas on the beach at sunset just vibing most of the time or at the museum. After having him around for a while, you notice that he’s the only fucking villager in your town that hasn’t celebrated nor told you when his birthday is. His house is pretty minimalist and monochrome.

Xemnas doesn’t exactly “play” the game - he mostly just roams around, doing absolutely nothing or just talking with people while going “Hmmm” Ohhh” “I see. . .” and other noises to himself. Couldn’t figure out how to give Isabelle a seashell on the first days so he just dropped that shit on the town hall pavement and it’s been there since then. Xemnas also never learns the real names of the villagers in his town, he just names them after people he knows and calls it a day.

Vanitas :

Definitely a jock cat, but like, the mean kind. He’s just too childish and energetic to be a cranky villager lol - his catchphrase is probably some shit like “idiot”. Not even a nickname, he just adds that at the end of sentences. Vanitas (or Catnitas :punch: :pensive) runs through the flowers but ONLY when you’re watching, orders the weirdest and most complex coffee just to see if you can make it - and then when you show him that you can, he’s impressed but also angry cause now he has to drink that shit. If you get Vanitas on your town, there’s a high chance that Ventus also moves in right next to him and viceversa.

Vanitas claims that he doesn’t give a shit about Animal Crossing, but his town is impeccable and he WILL kill for the villagers he loves - even if he’d also just try to straight up kill the ones he hates lol. The type of guy who carries around an axe 24/7 for no reason other than aesthetics and to make a Statement (tm). His house is pretty ugly though and he gets mad because he just doesn’t know how to properly decorate it to get a good grade.

Young Xenahort :

Smug goat. Smug goat. SMUG GOAT. The 100% definition of smug bastard - old Xenahort at least had the decency to SEND you rare furniture, but this guy just DISPLAYS it all on his house and MAKES SURE you know how pitiful it is that you can’t have the same things as he does. His house is chess themed and he has a picture of Eraqus somewhere. All of his letters sound condescending and he tries to use really long words to sound cooler, but we all know the truth. 

Young Xenahort shares a switch with Young Eraqus so naturally they  share islands in ACNH. Eraqus didn’t really mind but Xenahort REALLY wanted to divide the island in half so that they could have their own territory. IRONICALLY, he spends most of the time on Eraqus’ side tidying shit up - because he just can’t help getting mad whenever he sees how messy everything is, with all the fucking fish just laying around because Blathers isn’t there yet. Young Xenahort also insists on only having white roses and is very hellbent on keeping a strict aesthetic.

Terranort : 

The snooty lion she tells you not to worry about. Also a bit smug, but not as bad as the actual Xenahort - he’s actually pretty tolerable, when he’s not giving you the cold shoulder. The villager that takes you 207456 years to actually befriend and who only likes super specific and rare items as gifts. It’s really funny to bully him around because he only gets angry and just stomps around all day after that.

Another sad lad who wouldn’t play AC BUT if he DID he’d have some intense lore and one man larping sessions with the villagers. Like, those people who get WAY too into it. And sadly that’s all I got on him because I wasted all of my juice on writing for the other guys who are all technically the same guy. 

Dark Riku : 

Stereotypical jock wolf - head empty no thoughts, only muscles, sports and a deep seated inferiority complex. If you send him fruit, he’ll send you garbage in return. The only villager who wil SMACK you back with a net if you hit him, but his letters are oddly ??? Pretty nice and normal too ??? Unlike all of his regular dialogue about beating you up at every single game and sport possible in this entire world. Like, calm down, bro. Calm down and have a caprisun. Brags a lot about his “friend Kairi” from another town, which is sad cause she doesn’t. Actually know him. At all.

 Like Vanitas, e-boy Riku says he “doesn’t give a shit about some animal AI from a kids game” but he actually does. Sable is BEST girl in his eyes and getting her to open up and share her story with him was a magical moment. The game is super soothing and it calms him down, he’d even listen to those Lo-Fi AC 24/7 streams on youtube whenever he needs to c h i l l.

Xigbar : 

Peppy panther, I don’t even have to tell y’all what his catchphrase is. Constantly breaks the fourth wall with little jokes, known to “teleport” - he kinda ends up showing up on every single store and building you enter, as if nothing happened. Sends you VERY specific letters describing shit he shouldn’t knowor stupid jokes and puns. LOVES to gossip about other villagers and gives you that Extra Lore and trivia about them - but whenever you ask others about him, they just Dont Know Anything About Xigbar. Are you SURE he’s in your town, mayor ? 

Xigbar would mostly play Pocket Camp because it’s easier than carrying around a fuckin ds or a switch. It’s also less work and it’s a nice distraction from all the drama going around in the real organization. To play ACNH or ACNL he probably leeches off someone else’s console and he’d exclusively visit others’ towns just to fuck with them or annoy them to death by surrounding their houses with pitfalls.