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buddiebeginz · 10 months ago

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Since I'm still seeing posts where people are saying Buck wanted Tommy's attention in 7x04 I thought I would do a break down of the episode. Cause the entire thing was about how Buck wanted Eddie's attention full stop and I'm baffled that some of you missed that it wasn't exactly subtle:

This is going to be a long post with gifs so I'll put it under the cut

First there was the mansion call. (I know some might say this scene is different because it was meant to be a part of episode 7x05. Doesn't matter they changed the order so it's canon for this ep and so Buck's behavior in it is relevant).

Buck trying to get Eddie's attention with the random facts he knows and also because he knows no one listens and appreciates that stuff about him like Eddie:

Buck glued to Eddie's side the whole call.

Buck also not showing any interest in the ladies from the Bachelor while he's standing with Eddie.

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Then you have the scene at the hanger:

Here's the thing I do believe Buck has an attraction to Tommy and is interested in him but the main draw Buck has to Tommy is because of the multiple similarities Tommy has to Eddie. The show was practically putting a neon sign above Eddie and Tommy multiple times saying that Tommy is a mirror of Eddie.

I'd also like to point out that maybe it was just me but Tommy didn't seem all that interested in Buck throughout this scene or really any scene until the last one. Now yeah he could have been being cautious because he didn't know if Buck was into guys but I honestly got the vibe he was into Eddie. I can't help but wonder if he was trying to get with Eddie and then maybe in Vegas Eddie told him he was straight (not that he is) or maybe Eddie just told him he has a beard girlfriend. No one can convince me otherwise that Tommy doesn't think there's something between Eddie and Buck. I 100% believe all Eddie did was talk about Buck when they hung out and Buck did the same thing right up until Tommy kissed him. That whole "my attention" line was very telling. Tommy you're gonna get your heart broken but I get it dude Buck is hot.

So anyway Buck goes for a tour and unsurprisingly he brings up Eddie before Eddie ever shows up. And while yeah it's him responding to Tommy saying he was in the army it just feels like a partner moment. Like yeah no way my boyfriend was in the army. Buck talking about Eddie is as second nature as someone talking about their spouse. They're such an integrated part of their life that they don't even realize how much they talk about each other. It'll be interesting to see if Buck does the same thing when he's on his date with Tommy too.

Then Eddie shows up and if you watch Buck the whole scene once Eddie arrives he's almost exclusively watching Eddie.

(watching Eddie walk away)

Here's the difference btw in one of the few times he looks at tommy (when Tommy speaks) after Eddie show up 👇

Then at the end you have Buck make this face:

Which I think isn't so much about feeling left out as it is seeing how happy Eddie is and knowing he's not the one making him happy. Although I don't think Buck is consciously processing all of that right now but I definitely think that was a big part of it.

I think in this whole scene what's going on in Buck's head is this: 1. surprise that Eddie is there because he didn't expect him 2. Why didn't Eddie tell me he was hanging out with Tommy (I usually know everything going on with Eddie). 3. Trying to understand what he's feeling when he sees Eddie and Tommy together. 4. Feeling confused about everything. 5. Jealous that Eddie is going off with someone who isn't him but not really understanding that's what it is.

I get some people might watch that scene and say well Buck was essentially asking Tommy out on a date and then Eddie showed up an took off with him so he must be jealous that Eddie is getting to spend time with Tommy. Buck obviously has an attraction to Tommy but the person he really wants and wants to spend time with is Eddie this is further highlighted by the next scene we see them in when Buck keeps getting more and more upset over hearing about how Eddie is doing things he enjoys with someone who isn't Buck. But also in how Buck acted while at the at the hanger. He wasn't focused on Tommy. I mean have you ever been crushing on someone when they're in the room it's like no one else is. The person who Buck couldn't take his eyes off of was Eddie.

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Next we have the sewer rescue scene with Ravi. (We really need more Ravi and Buddie scenes btw I love them together) We have Buddie working together as per usual. Highlighting like in the Bachelor scene how well they work together which they always do.

You have Buck telling the story from the pilot about when he saved that baby in the wall and Eddie smiling fondly like a typical spouse who has heard that story a million times.

While they're working Buck is spending the whole call trying to find out what Eddie was up to when he went to Vegas.

Buck is asking a million questions which implies that Eddie hasn't told him yet about the trip. This goes back to the helicopter scene where Buck didn't know Eddie was spending time with Tommy and is really starting to feel left out. Again this isn't really about Tommy or Buck feeling like he's missing out on spending time with Tommy it's Buck feeling like he's missing out on Eddie's life.

Buck calls out the similarities between Eddie and Tommy

Although he's still clueless that this is what is primarily causing him to be drawn to Tommy. More than anything this was for the audience to again say in case you didn't catch it by now Tommy is like Eddie. They want to keep reminding us of this before the kiss so we know Buck is going to date someone who is like his best friend.

Also want to point out that while Buck is talking about Tommy to Eddie the camera shakes at points so we feel Buck's nerves. He's nervous to hear what Eddie has to say about Tommy.

Also the whole conversation about "naked men pummeling each other" and Eddie saying that he was wrestling with Tommy. Like I'm sorry but not one ounce of that convo felt heterosexual.

I've seen someone say that Buck's jealousy must have been about Tommy because Buck isn't even interested in the things Eddie and Tommy were doing together like Muay Thai and basketball etc but you can hear/see Buck getting more and more hurt as he and Eddie talk because Eddie is sharing parts of himself with someone else.

I feel like there's multiple reasons why Eddie and Buck haven't been spending as much time together. I mean yeah Eddie made a new friend but for the longest time it's been BuckandEddie like peas in a pod in work and outside. But I think the end of season six played a role in some of that changing

At the end of last season they were both dating someone else and they had both gone through some major trauma with Buck literally dying for 3+ minutes. We know that seriously affected Buck but the show didn't touch on how I know it must have affected Eddie. If you watch the scene (from 7x01) where Buck talks to Chris and we see Eddie's reaction in the hall when Chris talks about how everyone leaves. I can't help but think Buck's brush with death made Eddie think of Shannon and how scared he is to lose another person he loves or worse put Chris through that.

Not to mention what Buck said in the cemetery how he felt like Natalia this woman he had known for less than a minute saw him better than anyone. I feel like all of that combined made Eddie distance himself a little even if he wasn't doing it totally consciously.

There's also the fact that I think Buck has kind of taken Eddie for granted a little. We find out later in the ep that Eddie had asked Buck to play basketball with him many times but he'd always turned him down. I also got the impression in this ep that Eddie has all these hobbies that he was sharing with Tommy when he would have rather been doing them with Buck (he was so excited when Buck showed up on the basketball court).

And I'm not saying Buck doesn't love Eddie or hasn't tried hard to be there for Eddie and Chris over the years but it's something that happens in relationships sometimes. You think the person is always going to be there and you get distracted with life stuff.

This combined with things Oliver has been saying in interviews about how Buck is going to have to put in work for his next relationship. How Buck has always gotten whatever person he wanted mostly and I can't help but wonder if that's going to play a role in how Buddie is developed. Is Buck going to have to prove to Eddie how much he means to him?

This part of the scene if no other really lets you know it's about Eddie and not Tommy. We can see how Buck is looking at Eddie when he says I do I really do and we feel all these intense emotions from him more than would make sense for the brief amount of time he's known Tommy. He's clearly thinking of when he met Eddie.

These are really just the baby steps of Buck recognizing how deeply he feels for Eddie. Because right here he's thinking that he thought their connection and place in each other's lives was special and unique to every one else they knew but then he hears Eddie talk like that and thinks maybe he was the only one who felt that way. Maybe he's easily replaced in Eddie's life.

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So Buck goes to talk about his feelings on everything with Maddie. Tbh I wasn't thrilled with how they did the Buck and Maddie scenes in this ep. Though I do think we're going to get more of a heart to heart with the two of them in future eps when Buck officially comes out. I just feel like Buck needed someone to really listen to him and Maddie was a little dismissive both times he talked to her. I also really want someone to try to ask Buck about his feelings for Eddie.

It's kind of crazy to me how no one in the 118 has ever really brought up the fact of how close Buck and Eddie are. Maddie has said the whole "boy crush" thing and that elf mistook them for being married but what I mean is you know the 118 sees how they are. Look at when Eddie was shot. It was assumed automatically that Buck was going to be the one to talk to Chris because they knew how close Buck and Eddie are and how they're essentially raising Chris together. This is how people talk about someone's spouse not just their friend.

Back to the convo with Maddie

Buck is complaining to Maddie about Eddie and Tommy. His feelings in that scene don't come across like he's unaware of some attraction he has to Tommy or like he's trying to hide feelings for him. He comes across as hurt, and frustrated, and confused that this new person has moved in on his place in Eddie and Chris' life.

Again I'm not saying Buck doesn't have an attraction to Tommy but I do think Tommy is a distraction more than anything. I think Buck is focusing on him rather than looking at the entire situation. Instead of asking himself why does it matter if your friend has a new friend? Why does it matter if Eddie spends time with new people? Why does it matter if Eddie shares parts of himself with someone else parts he might not be sharing with you?

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Then of course there's the gym scene at the firehouse. I've seen people say Buck thought Eddie was on the phone with Tommy. And maybe he did. But you expect me to believe he was upset and jealous over Tommy and because Eddie was getting to talk to him and his way of dealing with that was to try and get Eddie's attention through lifting weights and pointing his dick at him. o_o

Literally sitting up in the middle of lifting weights so he can see if Eddie is looking over at him.

Nothing about this scene is telling the audience that Buck is thinking about Tommy. It's saying he wants Eddie's attention.

This scene is actually very similar to what happened at the hanger

Buck saw Eddie looking incredibly happy and he wasn't the one making him happy. Eddie also wasn't sharing what's been going on in his life with Buck. Buck felt shut out and ignored from the one person who he's been the closet with for years. Even when they've had girlfriends it's clear Buck and Eddie have been close and connected in ways they never were with anyone else. Buck is scared he's losing that.

If the show wanted us to believe that the scene was about Buck and Tommy and Buck's growing attraction to Tommy there are so many different things they could have done to highlight that. Have Tommy ask Eddie about Buck (if that even was who Eddie was talking to) and have Eddie tell Buck he was talking to Tommy maybe direct a question from Tommy to Buck. They also at the least could have said that's who Eddie was talking to and they didn't even do that. They could have had Buck ask Eddie hey is that Tommy? But they didn't because the scene wasn't really about Tommy it's about Buck's feelings for Eddie that he still hasn't fully come to terms with yet.

Buck buys a basketball literally has it sent to the firehouse so Eddie can see him with it and hopefully ask him to go play basketball with him. Because remember he's feeling left out of Eddie's life. It's not like he asked Tommy to play basketball or asks Eddie if he can go with him to the court in hopes of seeing Tommy. No he wants Eddie to invite him. He wants to know Eddie wants him there.

Watch how Buck acts even when he's opening the basketball. He's trying to do it quickly and even while he's doing that he's looking over to Eddie to try and get his attention.

Also someone on twitter pointed out that in season 3 it was shown in Buck's loft that he already had a ball. My head canon is that he still has that ball and the lunatic that he is he just bought a whole new one and had it sent to the firehouse so eddie would see him with it. 🤦‍♀️

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Next is the infamous basketball court scene where I knew the minute I heard "basketball beard" and playing with the boys and other Top Gun references that canon bi Buck was a go.

Similar to the hanger scene Buck's attention is almost exclusively on Eddie through the whole scene.

Oh I'd also like to point out that both times that Eddie was with Tommy in this ep he was wearing sunglasses particularly when the two of them were side by side. I feel like it's the shows way of saying that Buck is not seeing Eddie right now and he's not connecting with his true feelings for Eddie.

I know Oliver is good at basketball but I couldn't help but laugh when they included that shot of him spinning the ball. Like we're meant to believe Buck doesn't play how did he learn to do that 🤦‍♀️

If the basketball scene had really been about Buck wanting Tommy's attention or being jealous that Eddie was getting Tommy's attention Buck wouldn't have been spending the entire time trying to get Eddie's attention. He also would have been competing with Eddie for Tommy's attention and he wasn't he was trying to get Eddie to notice him because he felt like all Eddie was doing was focusing on Tommy.

You can watch Buck get progressively more upset through the game as he feels like Eddie is competing against him and partnering with someone else when for so long that's been his role on and off the court. It's been Buddie against the world.

Also there's a moment when Buck runs into Tommy but the show never plays it as some kind of moment between the two. I mean they had more of a moment on the boat after the cruise ship when Buck patted Tommy's shoulder. But like according to some this is supposed to be the episode Buck is all into Tommy but that's just not present most of the episode.

Buck immediately knows he's fucked up after Eddie is hurt. I've seen people say why wasn't he running to help him but I've been in a similar situation like that where you're so stunned that you did something to cause someone you cared about to be hurt you can't even move.

Then as soon as Buck wants to try and help Tommy swoops in and says he'll take Eddie to the hospital. Taking care of Eddie has been Buck's job for a long long time. Think about how he saved Eddie during the shooting and took care of him and Chris. Also he took care of them during Eddie's mental health crisis. Buck is feeling like Eddie doesn't need him anymore.

Here's another thing I want to bring up about the basketball scene. Like I keep saying people have said that a lot of Buck's motivations in this ep were about Tommy. I'm sorry but you don't have those kind of strong emotions over someone you just met. Even if his emotions were that he had a crush on Tommy and felt like Eddie was taking all Tommy's time away. If Buck behaved that way from a simple crush on a guy he barely knew I would think he'd lost his mind. No he reacted the way he did because all of these feelings (that he's just now scratching the surface of dealing with) are connected to Eddie someone who means everything to him.

Remember too that Oliver said in his interviews that Buck doesn't even know why he's jealous or who or what it's about. Which is why I think even by the end of the episode when Buck thinks he's figured some things out there's still a lot he's missing.

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The second Maddie scene

I definitely agree with what others have said that unfortunately Maddie's words here only served to further confuse Buck. What he was feeling was not just being left out and excluded from this friend but mostly jealous over a man he loves being all excited to spend so much time with someone else. Buck was jealous and scared of someone taking his place in Eddie's life and doesn't really know how to process that.

Oh and for people who say he wasn't jealous over Eddie he literally says he was to Maddie.

Buck admits he was trying to get Eddie's attention which like I said in the basketball scene you can see because Eddie is all Buck is focused on.

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Then of course we have the end scene with Buck and Tommy.

First we get the opening shot where Buck answers the door. And before he even answers we the audience are made to think it's going to be Eddie and made to think Buck also thinks it's going to be Eddie. Because all of the tension that's been between them in the ep hasn't been resolved and Buck hasn't talked about how he's been feeling to Eddie at all. So we're left waiting for that resolution.

Instead however when Buck opens the door it's Tommy

One thing I didn't mention earlier was that the show has made it a point to have Tommy only call Buck Evan. I've seen a number of theories people have for why this is, personally I think it's a reminder to the audience that Tommy for all his similarities isn't Eddie. Like they give us all these signs that say look Eddie and Tommy are so much the same but everytime you hear Tommy say Evan so casually like that you remember they're different.

Eddie who knows the real Buck only ever calls him that and it's only on the rare serious occasion does he use Buck's real name. Maddie is similar. It's like when Ana called Eddie Edmundo. These people have an idea of who Buck and Eddie are but they they don't know all the little intricate pieces that's something Buck and Eddie only have with one another.

So Buck is smiling and laughing (somewhat out of embarrassment for how he behaved on the basketball court) but watch his body language at even the mention of someone replacing him in Eddie's life:

I find it extremely foreshadowing of what's to come with Buddie that the show chose to have Tommy and Buck spend most of the time before their first kiss even right down to the seconds before it talking about Eddie and even talked about him afterwards. I mean if you didn't want your audience shipping a ship or giving them hope it was going to happen would you do that?

Buck not only talks about Eddie before the kiss he talks about how great he is and brings up memories of their past. Almost like someone talking about an ex they're still in love with. Like you're trying to move on but you can't help what your heart wants.

Like I said above I fully believe that when Tommy said "my attention" he knew that Buck is all about Eddie. Buck's response being "I guess" is even more telling because it shows his confusion. I definitely think that when Buck and Tommy break up (or however far they get in their dating) that we'll get some kind of confirmation that Tommy always knew Buck and Eddie were in love.

I think a lot of the stuff Buck talks about in this scene is him trying in the moment to make sense of the confusing way he's been feeling. I do think he's attracted to and likes Tommy but there is also a whole host of other feelings he has that really were the main motivating factors into why he acted the way he did in this episode.

The last time Buck was with someone and there was an I love you it was with Taylor and it was like Buck just went along in that relationship because he felt like he was supposed to. Buck and Eddie are similar in that way. They have this amazing love and bond with one another but there's a reason besides the fact that they're both guys that they keep avoiding really confronting their feelings. They're scared. They're scared to loose what they have. They're scared to change it. They're scared of fucking it up like they believe they have their past relationships. Scared of so many things. So they just kind of side step it at every turn.

The show mentioning Eddie right before the scene ends is one of the biggest indicators that this is all leading to Buddie.

If the episode was really just a misdirect where Buck was really into Tommy all along they wouldn't have made the last scene so Eddie heavy and especially not the last bit of dialogue about Eddie. The last few lines are what you're leaving the audience with until the next episode and the words they left us with are about Eddie (and Buck) so we're meant to focus on them.

If you read all this thank you ❤️. This post took me forever (which would be why it's getting posted a full week after the ep >_< ) please reblog if you like it. Can't wait for the ep tonight.

#buddie #911 meta #911 7x04 #911!#long post #911 s7 #buddie s7 #b*ck t*mmy for bl

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bylrlve · 8 months ago

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Warning! Spoilers for Stranger Things 5 mentioned,

Rewatching episode 2, and I’m genuinely staggered by how many times Mike peeks at Will. It’s very clear his mind is on Will, in fact. I am also staggered by just how many small byler details are in here.

His whole face drops after no. 4 too, as @starbylers observed here.

I also want to include these @chirpsythismorning gifs from the roller rink scene, as they’re brilliant:

Mike watching Will get out of the van, and seemingly offering a hand to him.

Mike openly watching Will as they take their skates.

(X) (X)

These are very deliberate acting choices from Finn Wolfhard, and he was certainly doing it on instruction.

Some other notes on 402:

The transition from Mike and El being fake -> Murray looking up looking like he’s experiencing his Seeing Clearly -> Robin talking about Vickie laughing ‘and not like a cheap, fake laugh, but a real, genuine laugh’, right after we saw Mike hiding his genuine disgust at burritos for breakfast behind a tone of fake laughter.

Mike’s whole face just drops into an unhappy, spaced-out espression when it zooms in on El - this is after Will ignored his sock joke (video here by @buckybxarnes)

As many have observed, Mike and El look genuinely miserable when viewed from Angela’s perspective, as opposed to the shot of them skating with Will miserable behind them

It’s occurred to me that in s2, 3, and 4, the byler plot really takes off in episode 2. I’m wondering if that’s also the case with s5 - I’ve reconsidered my theory that the Mike + El rooftop scene takes place after the hospital plot in ep 2, as I’ve heard that the paparazzi at the filming site were told it was in episode 1.

The door slam/open transition between Joyce going to the bank to get the 40k random for Hopper, utterly singleminded, and Mike barging into the womens’ bathroom, being kicked out, and subsequently starting an argy-bargy with Will as opposed to continuing to prioritise El… well!

The disparity in time is so interesting. El counts off 185 days since she last saw Mike - which is roughly six months, as is canon within the show (Sept-Oct 1985-March 1986). And here Mike is, saying ‘you knew she was having trouble for, like, a year’ and Will saying ‘it’s been a year, Mike’ and, in 404, Mike saying ‘the last year has been weird.’ It’s pretty obvious the last one is Mike referring to their fight nine months earlier, plus the time prior that Mike had spent pulling away from the rest of the Party to focus on El. The second one is Will potentially referencing the time that elapsed since their fight - even if it’s moreso subtext from the writers. What, then, to make of Mike saying Will knew El was having trouble for, like, a year? What subtext could be meant by this? I’d love to hear your guys’ thoughts because u can’t quite deduce this.

Mike listing off everything Will did is so hilarious given the surveillance he carried out all day on the boy, and given the fact that poor El being humiliated publicly and assaulted with liquid before she skated off bawling did not, apparently, ruin the day. On second thoughts, I understand what Will meant… she’s in trouble having Mike’s gay ass for a boyfriend.

What’s striking me now is that this fight + El’s iconic roller skate moment, are the real emotional climaxes of this episode’s M/E/W plot. It could have been Mike finding El and comforting her before she lashed out at Angela. It could have been him talking to her afterwards. It could have been at the house - him following her up to her room and silently comforting her until she fell asleep. No, no. Mike and Will airing out their grievances (and Mike betraying which of the two truly emotionally affects him more) + El handling her own shit, while Mike thoroughly disapproves.

The way that Will just wants to be Mike’s friend, but it’s Mike making it so deeply weird.

The way, also, that they stick together at the rink even after the fight, and Mike openly is more preoccupied by Will in the van. I’ve seen it observed before: the parallel between El and Will staring out the same window in the van crying: Mike looks at Will in the shot. He does not look at El in the shot.

I think it’s hilarious that Mike ends the fight by feigning concern for El - he offered her no comfort whatsoever, actively stood away from her when she was waiting for Jonathan and Argyle to arrive, ignored her crying in the van, and of course:

She didn’t look fine.

Mike and Will are blocked together, not Mike and El

The sincerity of Mike’s concern over El juxtaposed with the rank falseness of ‘no, that’s…that’s not true, maybe I was a little upset in the moment’ etc really sticks out - the defensiveness is reminiscent of the tone he took with Will during the fight, but even then he was more sincere-sounding because he was more emotionally affected.

Bylers don’t talk enough about the insanity of ‘who… who said that I didn’t?’ In context, thinking logically, Mike is very likely referring to Will here (the bullies were shouting at her, he could hear what they were saying)- and why would his mind immediately go to ‘Will thinks I don’t love El, and has told her his suspicions?’ Why would he take a defensive tone?

Seriously, 402-403 M/W/E may well be the plot that (potentially) spells out byler endgame the most.

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #el hopper #bizarre love triangle #oh… el…. babe #finn wolfhard #gay mike wheeler #mike wheeler is gay #do you ever just feel really bad for el?#my post #otp: heart and light

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airenyah · 3 days ago

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A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 8

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7)

Oof. This took me way longer than planned. Partly, because I had some uni assignments to work on and partly, because I went home the weekend after episode 8 dropped and ended up binging the entirety of Star in My Mind with my mother. On her request, btw. Who am I to say no to my mother when she wants to watch a JoongDunk show for the 3rd time together. I actually meant to upload it a day or two ago, but then I kept realizing and noticing and remembering details that I really wanted to add, some of which were also language related, so I then needed to check with my Thai language correspondents which also took some time as I waited for their replies.

But here it finally is! I know in my last meta I said it was my longest one yet, but this one's even longer, actually. Watch my metas hit 20k words by the end of the series lmao. Anyway, enjoy. And apologies in advance if my ep9 meta is also late, since I had to finish this one first. I promise I'll try my best to get it done before ep10 <3

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise.

To recap: So Fadel and Bison found out. Fadel and Bison are mad. Fadel and Bison want to kill Kant and Style. Style was drugged, kidnapped, found himself tied up at a pool staring down the barrel of his own boyfriend's gun, survived, and then drove off into the sunset, uh, I mean went on a little road trip in search of his best friend and his boyfriend's brother/best friend's boyfriend. As bleak as things may seem with Style being back at square one with the added challenge that Fadel now actively wants to kill him, this, at the same time, may be one of the best things that has ever happened to Style, because finally everything is out in the open. Style no longer has any secrets to keep (except for the deal with the car) and he can finally be brutally honest in everything he says and everything he does.

No. 1: Midnight Mote– Oh Wait Wrong Show

We meet them as they're pulling into the parking lot of a motel. Since it seems to be pretty late at night, I think it's fairly safe to assume that they were driving all day, likely non-stop. The first thing out of Style's mouth is a horny line. "Why are we at a motel? Did you get turned on while we were on the way or what?" And just from that line alone we can actually see how far he's come since the beginning of the series and how far he's come in his feelings for Fadel too. Remember my first few metas about the first few episodes of the show and how I would go into whether Style really meant his flirty comment or not? I don't think in this moment Style was actually trying to seduce Fadel (we know how he acts when he does want to seduce him and we'll even get to see an example of it in a bit when they're in the room), but it's still very different from his flirty/horny comments in the first couple of episodes in the series where he also wasn't really genuinely trying to seduce Fadel. Back then, a lot of his comments were very loud in a performative kind of way, as if he was saying them for an audience, not because he actually meant what he said. This one here? There is absolutely none of that loud, performative energy to be found. No, Style makes this comment very casually, almost matter-of-factly even as if he's asking something like So, what do you want for dinner tonight?

It's no longer a performance to him. In fact, he's quite serious about it and while it was an offhanded rhetorical question, it still almost sounds like an honest question. The flirting is no longer a joke to Style the way it was in the first three episodes of the series. He genuinely wants to know. But Fadel shuts him down and orders him to get out of the car. Style is a bit annoyed at the dismissal, but by now he's also used to it. After all, he did spent 4 episodes doing nothing but hitting one wall after the other. And just like back then, he won't let Fadel shake him off that easily. So Style complains: "I’m just curious so I know what to expect. It’s not like I can just turn the switch on, you know?" Again, this is not a performance. In fact, this time around, he's even more serious than compared his comment before. He may not be planning on actively seducing Fadel right here right now in the car, but who is Style to say no if the opportunity to sleep with Fadel arises? For Style, sleeping with Fadel is absolutely on the table if Fadel makes the offer. And so Style lets him know. "I’m just curious so I know what to expect." Will you be sleeping with me? Are you planning on sleeping with me?

Fadel takes a moment to reply and there is an interesting expression on Style's face as he waits for an answer:

Style is watching him carefully, really observing Fadel's face. He's done this before when he's hit Fadel with a flirty or suggestive line, but where before his expression would always be one of excitement or amusement or curiosity or sometimes even smugness, this time it's completely serious. It's almost as if Style is searching for something. But searching for what?

As I mentioned above, I don't think Style is actively trying to seduce Fadel here. I think he's more testing the waters. Because while yes, Fadel has slept with him before and yes, Fadel is in love with him and Style knows it (he will later confirm it for himself at the end of the episode), the problem is that Fadel is also very pissed at him right now and is actively planning to kill him, has actively tried to kill him only hours ago, actually. If that doesn't send confusing signals, then I don't even know anymore. And so Style needs to figure out where exactly he stands with Fadel right now – that's what Style is searching for when he's staring at Fadel. He's trying to see how far Fadel has pushed him away now that the lies have come to light, is trying to find out how close Fadel will let him come now that Fadel has calmed down a bit from his tantrum at the pool. Will Fadel let Style get close enough again to maybe even be willing to sleep with him like before? Is their relationship maybe not in ruins yet? Has Fadel's anger faded enough? Does Style still have a chance with him? Is there a chance they can go back to the happiness they shared before all hell broke loose? This matters to Style and it matters a lot. And so he tries to look for the answers in Fadel's face as he waits for Fadel's reply. And after a moment, Fadel lifts his gun and hits him with:

I didn't take you here to sleep with you. กูไม่ได้พามึงมาเอาเนาะ [guu mâi dâai paa mueng maa ao nó] I - not - take - you - come - sleep with - [particle] Official subs: I’m not sleeping with you.

Sex is not the purpose for which Fadel made Style drive to a motel of all places. Fadel informs Style that this is where he's meeting Bison and repeats his order for Style to get out of the car. Style actually stares at Fadel for a second before he reacts:

This is the second right before Style turns his head and says he'll wait. And again I think this is him taking in Fadel's response and his brain working out where exactly Fadel has put him now. That's important info for Style to know. Style needs to understand where exactly he stands, because he needs to find out how much distance precisely it is that he has to overcome so that he can figure out a way to overcome that distance. Because Style doesn't want there to be any distance between the two of them at all. But Fadel clearly won't let Style get anywhere close right now. So Style turns his head and announces that he'll be waiting in the car. He's not in the mood to follow along, Fadel is a big boy and can go and get his brother by himself. Fadel, however, isn't in the mood to play either. He points his gun at Style's head again and tells him no. Style will not be waiting in the car. Style looks severely unimpressed.

Fadel orders Style to follow him, and in fact, not just to follow Fadel but walk in front of him, actually, thank you very much. And yes, Fadel does literally say "follow me", not "come along":

ตามกูมา [dtaam - guu - maa] follow - me - come Official subs: You come with me.

As a translation student I think it's a shame the translator didn't stick to a literal translation here, because I think it's pretty funny how Fadel is all "follow me" at first until he remembers that "following" implies walking behind someone and then changes his mind and tells Style to take the lead instead so that Fadel can actually keep an eye on him and threaten him with his gun if need may be. With Fadel ordering Style to walk behind him at first, I think it highlights his unspoken threat of "Walk in front of me (where I can see you)" even more and it's a shame the translator removed that. But despite the threat, Style just continues to be unimpressed. In fact, Fadel is really starting to get on Style's nerves now. And so he rolls his eyes and sighs the biggest sigh ever to make sure Fadel really can't miss how Style feels about this, how he feels about getting out of that car, how he feels about Fadel bossing him around and threatening him and waving a gun in his face.

Style is so fucking done with Fadel's stupid fucking act. And Style knows it's an act, he knows Fadel won't be killing him. At least not any time soon. And especially not right here in the parking lot of this motel. Fadel steps out of the car and Style watches him, then shakes his head, annoyed, before he follows Fadel's lead and gets out of the car as well.

They make their way towards the aunty and Fadel actually does fall behind Style as they walk. Once they reach the aunty, Fadel starts questioning her about Bison. She recognizes Bison on the photo, but hasn't seen him in a while. Aunty is worried and asks if he ran away from home. Style immediately jumps in and comes up with a reasonable story.

@secriden has an interesting thought about this:

[T]he story Style comes up with about why they're looking for a missing person on their own like this (instead of, y'know, going to the police like upright, non-hitman citizens would've) was really good to explain their urgency/frustration and preempt any suspicion so that the auntie is unlikely to report them to the cops. Style is actively, genuinely helping Fadel out and using his excellent skills at playing Asian aunties to full effect for him. Ugh, just look at how earnest and worried Style's expression is!? He totally disarms the auntie while I bet she would've been a lot more suspicious and distrustful if grumpy face on the left had come asking questions alone.

I think this is certainly an aspect of it, but I'm not sure how much of it is Style consciously doing this in order to help Fadel out and to keep the aunty from getting too suspicious and how much of it is Style acting on instinct. Not to mention, part of this is definitely also Style just being a chatty cat, ready to strike up a conversation with anyone who'll listen to him talk. Especially when it involves aunties that he can wrap around his finger with his charm. That is Style's personality after all.

I also love how Style drops the "boyfriend" without a second thought. Because obviously they are still boyfriends. Yes, Fadel drugged him and kidnapped him and pulled a gun on him and nearly killed him but never once did he utter the words "I'm breaking up with you" or "This relationship is over". So of course this relationship is very much still on. Why wouldn't it be?

Though let me just say, I don't think Style necessarily called Fadel his boyfriend deliberately in this moment in the sense of that he is actively trying to send some kind of underlying message to Fadel. I mean, in a way yes, but this boyfriend mention is very casual (as if it's the most self-evident thing in the world) and so I don't think his main goal here is to send some kind of deliberate pointed message along the lines of Do you hear that Fadel, I truly love you and I still consider you my boyfriend to Fadel, because if that were the case, he would have highlighted the word "boyfriend" more. Style will be calling Fadel his boyfriend very deliberately and pointedly later in the episode after a certain confrontation. But for now, this underlying message is more of a side thought.

Aunty asks if the two of them want a room. Style say yes. Fadel says no. Style insists. He's tired and there's no point in continuing their search for Bison right now. Fadel is stubborn. They have to keep going. Style starts getting overdramatic and flaunts his waist. Aunty supports Style. She refers to Style as Fadel's boyfriend. Style throws Fadel a pleased, warm look and raises his eyebrows at him. See? She's on my side. I'm winning this. Fadel says Style isn't his boyfriend. We don't even get to see Style's reaction to that claim, so I guess it couldn't have hit him too hard. Maybe he was even half expecting this sort of reaction with the way Fadel has been pulling back from him and has been rebuilding his walls.

Aunty tells them she'll be putting them in a special room and Fadel doesn't argue. Aunty presents them with lube and a condom. Style throws Fadel an amused and a little smug look.

No. 2: Of Mechanics and Race Car Beds

Fadel is having one of the worst nights of his life. That special room is very much not to his liking. Style, though, loves it. Obviously. Although, I think he also partly says it to be extra nice to the aunty to make up for Fadel being such a grumpy cat and partly as a way to get under Fadel's skin. The "Fast. Hard. Furious." part especially is a direct message to Fadel. Style is being a little shit again in order to get through to Fadel, but what's different now compared to the early episodes is that there is so now much more fondness that comes with it. When he smiles at Fadel afterwards, there is amusement in his expression, but moreover there is so much warmth and affection as well. There's even an air of playful innocence about it like Don't you agree, baby? 😇

The aunty leaves and Style comments on how he's never had sex in a car before (and to those who are calling bullshit on that statement, let me just point out: he said he never had sex in a car, he didn't say anything about never having sex with a car. I mean, we all saw how he touched Kant's car back in episode 1 🤭🤭🤭). Style takes off his shirt, throws it at Fadel, leans onto the windshield of the car and says some very flirty and suggestive things. Fadel finally gets up from his spot in the very last corner of the room, walks up to Style, grabs his hand and leads it down his own body. Then Fadel leans in for a kiss, only to handcuff Style to the bed.

This whole scene is very reminiscent of the kitchen scene at the start of episode 4. In both scenes Style says flirty and suggestive shit with the actual goal of getting into Fadel's pants, in both scenes Style makes a comment about how it's like a sex fantasy (Note: in episode 4 the subs say "wild", but since he is literally saying an English loanword I think you can hear it for yourself and don't need me to spell it out for you in Thai like I usually do), in both scenes Fadel is trying to push Style away, in both scenes Style is also trying to annoy Fadel in some way. And yet both of these scenes go very differently.

In my ep4 meta I discussed why Style genuinely meant all the flirting in the scene and how he was genuinely trying to get into Fadel's pants, but there is one aspect I actually didn't really mention, partly because I was focusing on other things and partly because back then I didn't yet have the comparison of how Style's flirting would be like once they were in an actual relationship and real romantic feelings were involved. I've mentioned before how when Style is saying suggestive things without actually meaning them in the earlier episodes his voice will be louder and his tone much more performative while when he is sincere in his sexual flirting his voice will go more quiet. When Style goes into his whole "I know a guy like you just needs a little nudge" spiel in episode 4 his voice is a lot more quiet than it usually is compared to the insincere flirting which is why (amongst other reasons I discuss in my ep4 meta) I think he definitely meant it, but (and this following part I didn't mention back then) there is something about his tone of voice and also the way he grabs Fadel's crotch in such a rough, unsexy way that makes me think he was also trying to piss Fadel off a bit. It's not just flirting, but it's a challenge too. Because Fadel keeps claiming he didn't miss Style when Style failed to show up at Fadel's usual spots, keeps claiming that Style is a only a bother to him. And so I think, as much as Style was genuinely up for sleeping with Fadel for a second time (the same way something else was, ahem, up that morning when Style awoke from his blissful dream), I think he was also using the chance to try and get under Fadel's skin again, trying to break down Fadel's walls even more, trying to make him admit that he was thinking about Style and that he had grown to like him.

Now in episode 8 Style doesn't need Fadel to admit his feelings anymore. Fadel is his boyfriend already, they've slept together on multiple occasions, and have also gotten to know each other on a deeper emotional level. Yes, Fadel has put his walls back up now that the truth is out, but now Style also knows what lies behind those walls. And so in this scene in the motel room he actively annoys Fadel on purpose, first of all by being flirty in the first place (Style knows exactly that Fadel isn't here to sleep with him since Fadel explicitly told him so when they arrived) and second of all by throwing his shirt at Fadel, which I think is an attempt at kind of connecting to/making contact with Fadel who retreated all the way into the last corner of the room and an attempt at getting some kind of reaction/engagement out of him. And what I've also seen someone note somewhere in the tags is how Style's shirt says "control". Style rids himself of "control" and throws it at Fadel. And we see that in the way he acts.

In the kitchen, even if he let Fadel take the lead once Fadel grabbed his waist and put him onto the table, in the beginning it was still Style who initiated everything, it was Style who moved closer to Fadel and who started touching him. Now in the motel, Style lets Fadel fully be in control from the start. Instead of getting closer to Fadel, Style now stays put exactly where he is. Instead of touching Fadel suggestively as Style did in the kitchen and is generally keen on doing whenever he genuinely wants to get into Fadel's pants he leans on onto the windshield of the car and puts himself on display completely, flaunts himself, offers himself to Fadel in a way that says here I am, take me any time. Style stays put, doesn't touch Fadel, and instead waits as he leaves the choice to engage entirely up to Fadel. Fadel can have him whenever he's ready. Style won't force Fadel before he is ready but he will make sure that Fadel knows loud and clear that Style's offer is here.

Style's tone is also fully grounded and serious now as well as very calm. It's the complete opposite of his loud, showy, performative behavior from the first three episodes when he was trying to "seduce" Fadel and was spewing insincere words. And when he smiles at Fadel, he's kinda amused but there is also so much warmth behind in his expression:

Fadel finally gets up and engages with Style and it's interesting, because back during episode 4 in the kitchen I already thought Style was serious about hooking up with Fadel and it's just so cool to see just how much more serious Style actually gets now that strong romantic feelings are involved. If you watch the kitchen scene from episode 4 and the motel scene from episode 8 back to back you can absolutely tell in which of these scenes Style is full on in love. And what else is interesting is that even though in the kitchen scene from episode 4 Style 10000% means every single thing he says and genuinely wants to hook up with Fadel right then and there, there is still some sort of performative air to his lines when he says "Oh, we’re doing it in the kitchen?" and "Wild. I like it". In episode 4, Style had just found out from the market aunty that his strategy of staying away did have an effect on Fadel, but when Style calls him out on it, Fadel keeps rejecting him and keeps telling him to piss off. And while Style's gut feeling tells him that Fadel does feel something for him, Style doesn't actually know. Because Fadel keeps saying otherwise and keeps pushing him away. But in the kitchen Style genuinely wants something from Fadel and I think when Style makes his comments while Fadel is putting him on the table his words aren't entirely grounded not because he's being insincere, but because he's trying to play it cool. I think he's trying to hide how desperate he is for Fadel to reciprocate his blossoming feelings.

Now in episode 8, though? Style is no longer desperate for it. Sure, Fadel is currently pushing him away again all the time, but it's okay. Because unlike in episode 4, Style now knows for a fact that they're in love. That Fadel is in love with him, too. Fadel is mad at him right now, but that will pass. So when Fadel comes over to (seemingly) go along with Style's seduction, Style doesn't say a word. He doesn't need to anymore. He doesn't have anything to prove anymore. He is confident about their mutual feelings and their relationship now.

Something that both the ep4 kitchen scene and the ep8 motel room scene, and actually also the ep3 storage room scene share is how Style lets Fadel take the lead. Style isn't forcing himself onto Fadel, he sits back and lets Fadel do whatever he wants to do to him.

Fadel grabs Style's hand and leads it down his chest. Style follows with curiosity, looking pleased, clearly happy that Fadel is actually engaging instead of pushing him away and definitely also excited about the prospect of getting some. Fadel leans in for a kiss and Style follows and—

Before Style knows it, Fadel has handcuffed him to the bed. Kissing is off the table, it seems. In episode 4, Style was extremely hurt by Fadel's rejection. Now in episode 8, he's still pretty miffed about it, but he is in no way as hurt as he was that time in the kitchen. Because by now Fadel has done this to him enough times that he's used to it. And also, as I mentioned before, their relationship is on a very different level now. Fadel handcuffs Style and Style is disappointed, but not surprised. Mostly he is just kinda annoyed that Fadel is still keeping up this stupid act. "What the hell? I ain’t running away, you know?"

In episode 4, Style ran off, hurt and humiliated and very enraged. In episode 8, Style stays put. Not that he could have gotten very far even if he had wanted to run off, but Style genuinely doesn't want to. In episode 4, Style spent quite a long time being angry at Fadel for dumping him like that. In episode 8, Style is annoyed for like a second upon realizing what Fadel's plan had been all along, but then he immediately gets over it and meets Fadel with love and warmth instead. Fadel says "I don’t trust you" and Style does talk back, but it's more of an affectionate teasing than an attempt at instigating an actual argument. Style almost smiles at Fadel after he says "And if I need to take a piss?" Fadel lets him know that he will be uncuffing him for that if need may be and Style lowers his gaze. He sees the complimentary gifts and playfully starts teasing Fadel about using them. And unlike earlier, I think this time with that kind, warm smile Style is throwing Fadel, Style's comments about chains and whips and using the complimentary gifts weren't actually meant as genuine seduction. No, I think that was Style's way of saying Hey, I'm not upset with you for chaining me to the bed, I'm not holding that against you. But would you please just drop the act and stop pushing me away all the time?

But Fadel grabs his chin and tells no, he will not be dropping the act: "Didn’t you say you’re tired? I bet it’s because you run your mouth too much. Shut up and go to sleep." Style smiles at Fadel again towards the end of Fadel's new rejection, but that smile falls as soon as Fadel walks away.

And I don't think it's because Style is frustrated that he won't be getting laid that evening after all. I think Style is genuinely disappointed that Fadel continues to push him away like that, that Fadel keeps on being stubborn and refusing to communicate and engage with Style no matter how clear Style makes it that he's not holding a grudge about anything that happened that day, from the drugging to the kidnapping to the attempted murder to the blue-balling. And in addition I think Style is also a little hurt that Fadel won't just trust him at least a little bit and hurt that Fadel keeps acting so distant and stand-offish. Style just wants his boyfriend back.

No. 3: Deliver A Message

Now this scene is interesting because it left some people confused from what I've seen. Is Style being serious with his crying or not? Is he playing Fadel? Especially with the upbeat music that was put in the background at the beginning of the scene. There's another reason why I think this particular scene is confusing (and which was the reason why it confused me in the beginning as well), but that's a topic for a whole separate post. (Side note: While I was still working on this meta, I actually ended up getting an anon about this crying scene and sooo this "separate post" might actually follow at some point, even if I hadn't been planning on actually writing it when I was typing the previous sentence. Stay tuned.) I think multiple readings of this scene can co-exist, but for now I just wanna share what I personally think is happening in this scene.

First and foremost let me just say that I don't think Style is necessarily playing Fadel. If anything, he may be playing the drama up a bit like he tends to do, because that's simply just his personality. He has a tendency to be a bit more dramatic then necessary. But even if he is playing it up, I think it absolutely comes from a genuine place. After all, Style is only human and he has had quite an eventful day. Let's recap...

The day started with Style showing up at the hospital, already antsy because he couldn't reach Kant which was worrisome especially in the context of Fadel's threatening warning of "the two of us have business to finish with the two of you" from the night before. So Style shows up at the hospital, only to find out that his best friend was kidnapped by an actual assassin who is very capable of murdering Kant (Style doesn't know Bison as well as he knows Fadel, so Style has no way to tell whether Bison loves Kant enough to spare Kant's life the way Style can tell with Fadel). And immediately after that he gets ambushed and drugged, which absolutely is a traumatizing thing to go through and certainly must have had some effect on Style, if just subconsciously. Then, he finds himself tied up naked at a pool, which again, would generally be a traumatizing situation to find yourself in, especially when someone you know is very capable of taking other people's lives comes and continuously waves a gun into your face. And yes, by now Style knows Fadel pretty well and so he didn't feel too threatened, but Fadel was also really angry and Fadel also did punch Style in the gut that one time when Style was overly confident that Fadel liked him enough not to harm him. And I think, even if on a surface level Style didn't feel too threatened by Fadel (because Style has learned to read him) on a subconscious level the knowledge that Fadel certainly could and would shoot at any moment if he got too angry is still there. And right at the end of that scene there was a point where Style was genuinely scared for his life. Again, that's pretty traumatizing. And then he spent all day in a tight space with someone who is angry at him and keeps pointing a gun on him. And then he got chained again. And got pushed away by his boyfriend over and over again. Style is only human. And it makes complete sense for all the emotions that he repressed while he was playing it cool in order to get through these traumatizing events to come bubbling up to a surface level now at night where he finally gets to rest.

Lying there, in bed, at night, about to fall asleep, his brain is finally not busy with keeping him alive anymore. His brain finally has the time and the opportunity to process everything that has happened in the last 24ish hours. And as he is lying there in bed his brain is probably playing back everything that has happened and is coming up with a lot of "what if" scenarios. What if Fadel had actually killed him at the pool? What if Fadel will actually kill him in the future just like he actually did punch him in the storage room when Style was confident that he wouldn't? Style's death would come with consequences. We've already heard and seen a lot about Style's loving relationship with his dad and it's no wonder Style thinks of him now. Because Style's death would hurt his dad a lot. Style's dad already lost the mother of his son, now he might lose his only son too? The only family member left in his immediate family? If Style does get murdered, he doesn't wanna die without saying goodbye to his dad. And the only person who would be able to deliver that goodbye message is his own murderer.

I don't think Style meant to cry in the beginning. I do think he was fairly serious in the beginning, but I don't think he was planning on crying about it. It's only when he remembers his mother that it triggers the need to cry, only when he suddenly arrives at his own grief and his own trauma about his mother's death that the tears start flowing. And in my opinion those are real, genuine tears. We've seen Style fake-cry before, we know what his performative crying looks like. Style is a terrible fake-crier and we saw this in episode 4 when he showed up at the Rise Up group meeting for the first time and "cried" about his dog. The crying in the motel bed? Is very far from that.

And it's not just us, the viewers, who know what Style's fake crying looks like. Fadel was at that support group meeting too. Fadel also knows how Style fake-cries. And so when Style starts to cry, Fadel can tell the difference. And it has an effect on him. Except he doesn't really know how to deal with this situation, because Style crying hadn't been part of his plans of kidnapping and killing Style, hadn't been part of his plans to push Style as far away again as possible. And so he awkwardly asks "Are you crying?" (I think a different way to phrase this question would also be "You're crying?") And Style replies in honesty: "Duh. I know I talk all big, but even I am afraid of death."

In the last 24ish hours Style got to feel genuine fear for his life and Style doesn't want to die. He is not suicidal. And yes, he is cocky and confident, sometimes overly so and yes, despite all the threats to his life Style simply went about his day as if it's nothing, but as I said, Style still went through a few traumatizing situations in a very short period of time. Of course, it all had an affect on him. Of course part of him would be afraid. Style is human after all. He is human and he is feeling emotions. And he would really need some comfort right now.

Except all he gets is a "stop being dramatic" and an "I don't wanna listen". So Style turns away from Fadel and cries alone in the little corner of privacy he can get in the shared bed that he is currently chained to and can't leave. Style can neither see nor hear nor feel the hand Fadel is reaching out to him, is unaware of just how much Fadel is longing to give him that comfort Style so desperately needs before Fadel's mind wins over his heart and makes him pull back again.

No. 4: Road Trip Time

It's the next day, Style has rested and from what we can see Fadel has also stopped waving a gun into Style's face almost 24/7. Style is clearly having a blast driving through the country. However, the car is tried now and refuses to continue on. Turns out the radiator is broken. Fadel mocks Style for being a bad mechanic and instead of taking offense, Style comes back with sass and a Harry Potter reference and mimics shooting Fadel. Remember the "Style + guns" counter from last episode's meta? I know, I know, here in this case it's supposed to be a wand and not a gun, but especially with the sound effect the whole thing is quite reminiscent of a gun shot, so I'm counting it. Our "Style + guns" counter is now at 4.

There is no phone signal, so they have no way of calling for help. Style tells Fadel off for insisting on taking a short cut and Fadel brings up the police. Style responds: "What are you worrying about? I told you I wouldn’t run. What do I have to do for you to trust me?" Fun fact, his literal wording when he says "What are you worrying about" is actually "What are you afraid of?" or "What are you scared of?":

มึงกลัวอะไรอ่ะ [mueng - gluua - àrai - àh] you - fear, be scared of - what - [particle]

What I love about this is that Style doesn't let Fadel's verbal stabs dampen his good mood too much. He doesn't respond in anger and he's not really annoyed. In fact, when he tells Fadel that he's not running away, he even sounds a bit amused. And when he asks "What do I have to do for you to trust me?", it's not a verbal stab back at Fadel but it's a genuine question. Style honestly wants to know. Fadel tells him "I can no longer trust a single word that comes out of your mouth."

Style smiles and shakes his head in a mix of amusement (because of course Fadel would say that) and exasperation (because Style is getting quite tired of being back at square one and having to go through all the steps again). Style doesn't fight Fadel, though, and instead asks him what he wants to do. However, there is a bit of a bite to his voice, especially in the last sentence when he asks Fadel what he plans to do if now, wait for a car to pass by or what? He patiently waits for Fadel's reply. When Fadel tells Style to push the car, Style is obviously not very into that idea but instead of resisting by starting a fight he starts getting over-dramatic about potentially passing out, about the hot weather, about being hungry and so on. Look how poor I am, have some mercy on me. Fadel is unimpressed. He tells Style to stop whining and reminds him that he currently has just one good hand. Style yields, but not without sassing Fadel first: "I’ll just die of exhaustion before I ever meet your bullet." Fadel brushes past him to get into the driver's seat (I'm assuming to control the wheels of the car while Style is pushing?) and Style walks behind the car and starts pushing while they continue to bicker.

We don't know how long Style was pushing the car for, but it must have been a while because when Style asks for a break, the road is no longer made of asphalt like it was when the car broke down. Fadel doesn't talk back when Style wants to take a break, instead he wordlessly steps out of the car and lets him have it. On the way to the back of the car, Fadel pulls a paper bag and a water bottle out of his backpack and goes to lean against the trunk of the car while taking a sip. Style eyes the water bottle and Fadel notices. After a moment of hesitation, Fadel somewhat begrudgingly holds the water out to Style. Style doesn't immediately take it, but instead throws Fadel a look, checking if Fadel really is letting him have some water. Style only grabs the bottle after Fadel explicitly tells him to take it. Style obeys and immediately starts teasing Fadel: "Thought you’d let me die of thirst. Either a hitman like you still have his humanity, or you’re in love with me." Despite talking big about killing Style and shoving a gun into his face on multiple occasions, Fadel still cares about Style and his well-being and Style knows it. After the teasing words are out of Style's mouth, he attentively observes Fadel's reaction because he also knows Fadel would never admit to this out loud:

While Style is talking, Fadel turns around to grab some food out of the paper bag. When he turns back he makes a face at Style's words, then wordlessly leans back against the trunk again and takes a bite, ignoring Style completely. Style eyes the snack in Fadel's hands. Then he says: "You’re well prepared, huh? To think you packed snacks and drinks."

I personally think that Style wasn't just thirsty, but also hungry. He did do some physical work under the heat of the sun, after all. I think his words were an implicit prompt for Fadel to not just share his water, but also his food. But Fadel doesn't share, he just responds with "I am always well prepared. I have plans for everything". It's kinda funny he's saying this because it's not like Style was even given the chance to prepare for a trip in the first place. It's not like Style showed up at the hospital with a bag full of travel essentials in anticipation of getting kidnapped and going on an impromptu road trip.

Fadel continues with a stab at Style: "If it wasn’t for you and your friend, my brother and I would have had our long-awaited break already." Style almost rolls his eyes. He's so over this. What happened, happened and there's no way to change the past. All you can do is go forward from there. "Let it go. Shouldn’t you be looking forward to the future? Focus on the future. Let go of your grudge. What good would a grudge do—" Style doesn't get further than that because suddenly there is a bun in his mouth. And just in case the message isn't clear enough, Fadel also explicitly tells him to shut up. Style complains about Fadel's methods. "Couldn’t you have been more gentle?" This is actually funnier to me in Thai:

If you want to feed me, you can feed me gently. No need to be so forceful. มึงอยากป้อนมึงป้อนเบาๆ ได้ไม่ต้องแรงเลย [mueng - yàak - bpôn - mueng - bpôn - bao bao - dâai - mâi - dtông - raeng - loiie] you - want - feed - you - feed - gently - can - not - need - harsh - [particle]

The bun did not manage to shut Style up, on the contrary. Style just keeps talking. "I’m getting paranoid, though. We broke down in the middle of the woods. This is just like the beginning of a horror film. A murderer is gonna come after us in a minute." Fadel gently reminds him of his request to shut up: "The first to get murdered would be a yapper like you." Again, I wanna share my own translations of this bickering (Fadel's line specifically), because it amuses me how Fadel is more or less continuing Style's sentence but turns it against him:

S: A murderer will come and kill us any second now. อีกแป๊บนึงก็จะมีฆาตกรมาฆ่าพวกเรา [ìik bpáep nueng - gôh - jà mii - kâat-dtà-gon - maa - kâa - pûuak rao] in a moment - [sentence link] - will be - murderer - come - kill - us F: And will kill a yapper like you first. แล้วก็จะฆ่าคนพูดมากอย่างมึงเป็นคนแรก [láew gôh - jà - kâa - kon pûut mâak - yàang - mueng - bpen kon râek] and - will - kill - person who talks a lot - like - you - as the first person

I think by now everyone's made fun of Style for being afraid of a murderer when there is an actual murderer right by his side, but the thing is, it is quite interesting how fear is becoming a theme for Style this episode, something that @secriden goes into in this post. Something else she also points out is how Style not only worries about getting murdered himself, but also about Fadel getting murdered too:

[I]t's interesting how Style talks about being afraid of dying generally and specifically how harm could come to them from an external source. How the way his fear is orientated puts Fadel on the inside ("a murderer is gonna come after us"), on Style's side and someone Style wants to keep safe. And when Fadel makes the kind of snide joke about letting the hypothetical cannibals kill and cook Style, Style's solution still involves staying by Fadel's side. At no point does he ever stop referring to Fadel and him as a single unit, even after Fadel very explicitly frames Style as the only victim.

In this moment though, Style isn't actually afraid of a hypothetical murderer suddenly jumping out of the woods to kill them both. So when Fadel responds with one of his usual comments that show how much he "dislikes" Style, Style lets it go and instead continues a different fight: he doesn't wanna keep pushing the car. He did it to humor Fadel, but there really is no point in continuing to push a broken car through the middle of nowhere. Fadel refuses to leave his car. Style starts talking him into leaving it there for now and coming back for it. Fadel threatens Style once again: "If my car was stolen, not only would I kill you, I’d take a car from your garage." Style is very unimpressed by this threat. "Take it. Take them all. You own my life."

Fun fact, this is the literal translation of when he says the "own my life" part:

You already have control over my life. มึงก็คุมชีวิตกูอยู่แล้วนี่ [mueng - gôh - kum - chii-wít guu - yùu - láew - nîi] you - [sentence link] - (have) control - my life - [aux] - already - [interjection]

It's interesting, because being in control of something doesn't necessarily mean you own it. Style's life is still very much his own, but he's willing to give it all to Fadel: "Take my cars, my body, my heart. Take everything." And yes, he is mostly sassing Fadel with these words, but there is also a certain seriousness to it. Fadel can have especially Style's body and Style's heart. Fadel can have 100% of Style. Style has made that decision long ago and he's still set on it, despite or maybe even especially because of everything that has happened since. Style's body and Style's heart are entirely free for Fadel to take. It's a sincere offer and it's on Fadel to take it up. Fadel stares at Style in an attempt to figure him out. Then he goes to get his backpack, walks back over to Style and grabs the water bottle out of his hands and then starts walking down the path. Style follows as soon as he realizes that Fadel is listening to Style's suggestion of leaving the car there for now.

No. 5: Murder House

Again we don't really know how much time has passed but at some point Fadel and Style find a house. Style makes a joke about a cannibal family living inside and while I doubt he actually believed in the cannibal family, I do think he's a lot more anxious now than he was about the hypothetical murderer by the car. Fadel replies with a joke of his own to really underline his alleged disdain for Style: "Good. I’ll ask them to cook you. I’m getting hungry." Style doesn't think it's funny and says "Don’t say that. It’s scary." Fun fact, in Thai Style doesn't just imply that he's scared by calling the situation/the thought of a cannibal family scary but he explicitly says that he's scared:

I'm scared for real. กูกลัวจริงนะเว้ย [guu - gluua - jing - ná wóiie] I - be scared - true, (for) real - [particle]

His anxiety gets even more apparent when he suggests returning to the road. Fadel doesn't believe in Style's creative imaginations but does tell him that if a murderer actually shows up he'll shoot them. Then Fadel pulls out his gun just in case (and potentially also to make Style feel more protected) and starts walking towards the house. Style follows, not very reassured. We can tell that his anxiety has grown from the way how at the beginning of the scene Style and Fadel were walking side by side and Style was walking even slightly in front of Fadel but when they walk up to the house Style is now walking behind Fadel instead:

They make their way towards the front door and Fadel knocks and calls out to someone inside. There's no answer. Style is getting more anxious by the minute and urges Fadel to leave: "Hey, it’s not too late to turn back." Fadel ignores him and starts knocking and calling again. There is still no answer. Style hates it. "This is getting scary," he says and I think that this is the point where his growing anxiety turns into genuine fear. Fadel pulls at the door which actually opens up. "What are you doing?" Style asks and his voice sounds really stressed now. Fadel walks inside the house without hesitation. Style immediately follows, but scolds Fadel for trespassing. Style would rather be anywhere else right now than here. Fadel turns his head to Style and says "I don't care." Or rather he says:

You think I'm scared? แล้วมึงคิดว่ากูกลัวป่ะ [láew - mueng - kít - wâa - guu - gluua - bpà] and - you - think - that - I - (be) scared - ?

Style swallows. Fadel continues to call out for someone. Style squints at him. He wants to leave. Suddenly a baseball comes down the stairs. Style jumps and yells. Fadel's hand goes to his gun, ready to pull it any moment. A second later the baseball is followed by a guy who is being chased by another guy brandishing the bat to that baseball. The first guy goes to hide behind Style and with that Fadel and Style find themselves in the middle of a domestic argument. The baseball guy, Popcorn, yells at his partner for a bit and then moves to attack him with the bat. Despite Style's initial fear walking up to the house, instead of shaking the guy off and getting out of the way he reacts by acting as a human shield, putting his arms out in a conciliatory gesture and suggesting to talk it out over using violence. Somewhere in this series there is a point to be made about Style having a tendency to act like a mediator (when he's not actively picking the fight himself) and if I wasn't so busy with uni assignments and my meta series, that would certainly be a meta post I'd be looking into making.

It's only when Style starts speaking that it fully registers for Popcorn that there are currently random people standing in his house. He starts asking who they are and how they got into his house and Style stutters, completely overwhelmed by the situation and certainly not any less afraid. Before Style has managed to form a proper thought Popcorn accuses them of being his partner's side bits. This immediately has Style stressed again and he yells "no" over and over again. Popcorn isn't convinced and goes for another attack with the baseball bat. It's a bit unclear whether Popcorn had planned to attack only one of them or maybe all three of them but either way, the way Style was standing he definitely would have been the first in line to get hit. Fadel pulls his gun even before Popcorn has managed to take a swing at Style. Style stops yelling and stares at the gun in shock. Popcorn drops his bat on the spot and retreats back to the stairs. His partner comes out from his hiding spot behind Style to follow Popcorn. Together they attempt to scramble up the stairs. Style stands still, completely frozen in place, staring at the gun for a few seconds until he finally turns his head to the stairs to watch the odd pair get away from the gun.

I think there are multiple factors to Style's shock here: his anxiety had already started even before they'd entered the house and it only grew from there. Then, Popcorn and Jimmy's appearance hit them both out of nowhere and Style really got roped into it even more than Fadel did with Jimmy grabbing Style first to use him as a human shield and then Popcorn also almost assaulting Style with a baseball bat. I think part of Style freezing is the left-over shock from Jimmy and Popcorn's initial attacks. It all happens very quickly, after all. In fact, Fadel's gun is out before Style has even had the time to properly process the fact that he was about to die by baseball bat. And so I think part of Style staring at the gun is him reacting to Fadel's movement in general and then Style's brain using the sudden break in action to catch up with everything that was happening in the last couple of seconds. Wait, I'm being attacked with a baseball bat. Wait, there is a movement next to me. Wait, the baseball bat attack stopped. Wait, there is a gun. Wait, the attackers are gone. Wait, the gun was protecting me. Wait, what are these two weirdos doing, where are these two weirdos going.

Style's eyes widen a bit as he turns his head to watch Popcorn and Jimmy scramble up the stairs and he doesn't look that shocked anymore or even terrified. He squints his eyes a little and it looks like he's he's in thought, like he's trying to figure something out.

And I think there are a number of things he's trying to figure out. Like, what the fuck to make of Jimmy and Popcorn. Who the fuck those weirdos are, where the fuck they came from, and where the fuck they are going again. Why the fuck they attacked Fadel and Style, but especially Style like this. In the above gif I think Style's brain has finally finished processing what has just happened, is finally all caught up and I think Style actually isn't all that afraid of the gun in this moment because he does realize that the gun did just save him (them) from dying by baseball bat a moment ago. And Fadel did say earlier that he would shoot anyone trying to murder Style (them).

And another thing that I think Style is trying to figure out is whether Jimmy and Popcorn's lives are in danger now with Fadel's gun on them. When Style's eyes widen it's almost as if he's thinking Wait, I just nearly died and Fadel protected me from them and when he squints his eyes it's like Who are these people? Is Fadel actually gonna shoot them now? Do I have to go from worrying about being killed by them to worrying about them being killed?

No. 6: Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Fadel doesn't shoot them. Instead, he has Style tie them to the piano. I do think it's kinda funny how Fadel tells Style "If you’re done, go look for what you need. Hurry up" and Style just nods and sits down on the sofa instead. So much for hurrying up.

Popcorn starts lamenting his pain dramatically. Neither Style nor Fadel are in the mood to listen to a domestic quarrel. Popcorn goes on and on about how Jimmy cheated on him and Jimmy says "They all meant nothing to me". In Thai he actually says:

They were just people I was chatting with. มันก็แค่คนคุย [man - gôh - kâe - kon kui] he/she/they - just - people one chats with

I asked my friend about คนคุย [kon kui] and he explained it to me as "someone you talk to/flirt with (but something serious is not (yet) happening)". So the original is much more vague about how deep Jimmy's betrayal really runs. There's a chance that Jimmy actually did cheat on Popcorn, but there's also a chance that Jimmy was just talking to them without the intent of having a thing with them and Popcorn just took it the wrong way and made a big deal out of it. Personally, my guess is Jimmy did do something for Popcorn to have a legit reason to be hurt, because later Jimmy does talk about trying his best and having been lost, but I also think he might not be as much of a (serial?) cheater as Popcorn is making him out to be in his anger.

Jimmy assures Popcorn that he is serious with Popcorn, but Popcorn doesn't believe him and cries "You were never serious with me! You made me fall for you and then betrayed me". Don't mind me putting the Thai wording here. It will be relevant later (and also don't worry about the orange bit for now, this will also be explained later).

You tricked me into loving you and being crazy about you and then you do this. มึงอ่ะมาหลอกให้กูรักกูหลง มึงก็ทำยังเงี้ย [mueng - àh - maa - lòhk - hâi - guu - rák - guu - lŏng • mueng - gôh - tam - yang-ngíia] you - [particle] - come - trick, deceive - that - I - love - I - be crazy about • you - [sentence link] - do - like this

And this is the moment when Fadel throws Style a look. Style turns his head to look at Fadel as well. Message received.

Jimmy begs for Popcorn's forgiveness but Popcorn is still too upset and in his anger cries out: "The likes of you don’t deserve second chances. The likes of you who lead people on deserve nothing but death!" I'm gonna share a more literal translation again:

There are no chances for bad people. โอกาสมันไม่ได้มีไว้สำหรับคนเลว [oh-gàat - man - mâi dâai - mii - wái - săm-ràp - kon leow] chance - it - not - have - keep - for - bad people People that trick others into loving them all deserve to die! คนที่หลอกให้คนอื่นรัก สมควรให้ตายไปให้หมด [kon - tîi - lòhk - hâi - kon èun - rák • sŏm-kuuan - hâi - dtaai bpai hâi mòt] people - that - trick - that - others - love • deserve - that - die - all

It's no wonder that this is the thing that makes Fadel, who knows a thing or two about being tricked into loving someone, get up and offer a free kill. Style immediately jumps to his feet and reaches out an arm to Fadel in order to pacify him and to stop him from killing Jimmy. Because Style knows full well that Fadel is perfectly capable of doing so without batting and eye. And again we see Style take on the role of a mediator. Popcorn backs down and admits he was just being dramatic and doesn't actually want his partner to die. But for Fadel it's personal: "But he lied to you." Or Thai he says:

But he deceived you. แต่มันหลอกคุณนะ [dtàe - man - lòhk - kun - ná] but - he - deceive, trick - you - [particle]

Fadel points out the tricking part specifically and again we as well as Style get a hint about what exactly Fadel has been upset about and it ain't the snitching to the police. We aren't shown Style's reaction here but I think it's safe to assume he heard Fadel's words loud and clear considering he is standing right next to Fadel. Popcorn tries to calm Fadel down again by explaining they argue all the time and repeating that he doesn't actually want his partner to die. Fadel looks at them, his expression serious, his gun still pointed. Style observes Fadel carefully, watching his every move:

I think Style is very much afraid in this moment. But I don't think he's afraid of Fadel, I think he's afraid for him. And afraid for the people in front of them. After all, Style doesn't want others to be harmed. We see this over and over again in the way he threw himself into the fight at the host club before he knew Fadel was perfectly capable of fighting for himself, we see this in the way Style grabbed the gun at the bowling alley and pointed it at the shooter to keep him from doing any more harm than he had already caused and we see it now in the way Style immediately jumps to his feet, arm stretched out towards Fadel to try his best to interfere at any second if need may be. Style is afraid for Jimmy and Popcorn, because he knows full well their lives are in actual danger. And Style is afraid for Fadel, because he also knows how much pain this assassin life has caused him and he wants Fadel to quit for his (Fadel's, that is) own well-being. And Fadel's well being is something that is deeply important to Style. Style implicitly told Fadel to quit killing in episode 5 already and later this episode he will explicitly tell Fadel to quit killing again. And every shot that Fadel takes is a step in the wrong direction.

And another aspect that comes to play here is that Style is afraid of dying. This episode has been dealing with Style's very real fear and this fear has taken form in different ways: We started with Style being afraid of his own death by Fadel's hand (last episode for a moment at the pool, this episode when he was crying in the motel bed), then we saw him being afraid of his own death by someone else's hand (the fictional murderer that his mind kept imaging) and now we see him afraid of someone else's death. And yes, the first two were about Style's own death, so why would he be afraid dying now when this situation is about someone else's death, not his own? The thing is, though... Is it really? Is this really about someone else's death? Because the person Fadel is about to kill is Style's mirror. Who is to say that after Fadel has taken care of Style's mirror his emotions won't get the better of him and he'll turn around and shoot the real Style in his hurt, too, while he's at it? So Style doesn't take his eyes off from Fadel, because his own life is still at stake too and how Fadel acts now will give Style a hint about how determined Fadel still is to kill him.

But then Jimmy suddenly changes course. He is willing to accept death if it means Popcorn will be safe. Style is still standing there with his arm halfway up, still tense, still ready to jump into action if Fadel pulls the trigger while Jimmy goes into a plea for Popcorn's life. Jimmy ends it by announcing that he loves Popcorn, which is yet another sore point for Fadel. "If you love him, why did you fool him?" Fun fact, Fadel is so pissed that he actually uses rude pronouns with Jimmy:

ถ้ามึงรักเขามึงจะหลอกเขาทำไม [tâa - mueng - rák - kăo - meung - jà - lòhk - kăo - tam-mai] if - you - love - him - you - will - trick, deceive - him - why

Also, this time we do get to see Style's reaction to Fadel's words:

I think Style partly throws Fadel that look because he is still afraid that Fadel is so angry that he might actually kill Jimmy and is ready to interfere at any time and part of that look is Style taking in and piecing together what exactly Fadel is and has been upset about. During this entire conversation it's always been the topic of loving and tricking and tricking into loving that Fadel's had the strongest emotional response to. That's what Fadel is upset about.

Jimmy doesn't reply to Fadel, doesn't explain himself. Instead he turns to Popcorn and goes into a heartfelt apology. The two of them bicker for a bit. Style's has lowered his arm even more now, but it's still in perfect position to make a grab at Fadel any second if need may be. He checks on Fadel again when Jimmy asks Popcorn to let Fadel shoot him if Popcorn doesn't believe that Jimmy's love is true. The husbands-to-be bicker some more and then Jimmy dramatically offers himself up as a sacrifice again, orders Fadel to shoot him. Fadel clenches his jaw. He knows he can't. He looks over at Style. Style is staring at Fadel intently, observing him, watching him carefully.

And again, I think this stare is about both, checking whether Fadel is still gonna go in for the kill and also Style trying to read Fadel, trying to figure out where Fadel is at emotionally when it comes to his own relationship with Style. Style is actively in the process of piecing together what exactly he's done to make Fadel hurt this much and to make Fadel want to kill him. And I think at this point here, Style is no longer as terrified of a potential murder happening right in front of his eyes the way he was when Fadel had initially pulled the gun on Jimmy.

Speaking of Style's fear, a couple of days ago I saw a post in the tags where someone was asking why Fadel pulling a gun on him was hot to Style but suddenly when Fadel is pulling the gun on other people it's an issue and since this meta series is THE Style manifesto I figure I should maybe write a paragraph about that too. When Style is at the other end of the gun it's hot, because Style is 99% sure Fadel won't actually kill him, won't kill him specifically. But when Fadel is pointing the gun at other people, Style can't be so sure. After all, this is Fadel's profession, this is what he specializes in. Fadel does this on the regular and Style is very well aware of it. The thing is, Style doesn't actually want others to be harmed. We see this over and over again when Style goes and helps people, when Style acts like a mediator in situations. Only last episode Style told Kant that love can turn a bad guy good and I think that's ultimately what he wants for Fadel. For Fadel to quit the job, to stop killing people, to turn "good" for Style and also for himself (putting "good" in quotation marks, because to Style, Fadel is a good person already as he reveals later in the bathtub). Style has already suggested Fadel quits the job even back in episode 5 when Fadel opened up about his parents' murder and about not wanting a relationship in order not to cause trouble to anyone. Style is cool with Fadel pulling a gun on him if no harm is done, but he is not cool with Fadel pulling a gun on others if harm could be done. And at the end of the day Style is also not cool with Fadel pulling a gun on him either, if Style's own life is in actual danger from that. We saw as much by the pool and we saw it again this episode when Fadel was about to kill Style's mirror.

Another thing I find truly fascinating about this scene is how Popcorn and Jimmy are clear parallels to Fadel and Style, but not in the way one might expect. We have Popcorn, the loud and overdramatic one and then we have Jimmy, the calm and collected one. We have Style, the loud and overdramatic one and then we have Fadel, the calm and collected one. You'd think Popcorn would be a parallel for Style and Jimmy would be a parallel for Fadel, but psyche! The calm and collected Fadel relates to the loud and overdramatic Popcorn's problem while the loud and overdramatic Style relates to the calm and collected Jimmy's problems. I think there are various interpretations possible as to why that is. One thing I'd like to think is that Popcorn's loud whirlwind emotions are a representation of how Fadel is quietly feeling inside but would never ever let out in any way, because his walls are that far up. And then we have Jimmy, who did something wrong, but is so serious and sincere in his love for Popcorn, in his longing for Popcorn's forgiveness and in his desire to be with Popcorn, to get married to Popcorn. And as loud and overdramatic Style can sometimes be, Style is completely serious about his love for Fadel and his decision to be with him no matter what. It's not a joke to Style. And Style, too, is longing for that forgiveness, is longing to go back to being happy and in love, is longing to get 100% of Fadel's trust. Fadel has told him before that Style had 80% of his trust, but with the betrayal those 80% have taken a significant dip down. But Style is still serious about wanting those 100% and so he will work his way back up again.

Side note: Another thing I was thinking about was how Jimmy was so willing to take the bullet if it meant keeping Popcorn safe and it just has me wonder if Style will be taking a bullet to keep Fadel safe.

No. 7: Do You Hear the Wedding Bells

Instead of going for a kill, Fadel lets Popcorn and Jimmy have their wedding. Style officiates while Fadel hides in a corner, watching everything from a distance. Style, believer in the power of love, is very happy for Jimmy and Popcorn. He watches with joy as they exchange rings and what I love about this is how Style's joy has such a calm, grounded energy to it. Style prompts the happy couple to kiss and I am absolutely convinced that his laughter when Popcorn jumps Jimmy and Jimmy carries him towards the wall is all Dunk, not Style. Then Style turns his head and looks at Fadel. He is presented with an image of Fadel quietly laughing at this couple's joy and passion and happiness. Fadel then turns his head towards Style as well, but immediately looks away when he meets Style's eyes and his laughter fades.

Remember how in last episode's meta I said:

And it's just veeeery interesting that Style asks Fadel to marry him for the second episode in a row. If it happens again next episode, I'm calling it. But for now, let's wait and see 👀

Well... We didn't get a FadelStyle marriage proposal, but Style's mirror saying "You and I are getting married" to Fadel's mirror? And then the Style and Fadel mirrors actually getting married? With Style officiating the wedding? That's three episodes in a row with a wedding reference in connection to Fadel and Style. Episode 6 with the untranslatable pun, episode 7 with Style's proposal prank, now episode 8 with an actual wedding. Three is a pattern, no? Style may not have uttered the words "Will you marry me" to Fadel this episode, but I'm calling it anyway. These two are so getting married by the end of the series, aren't they...

(Also, sorry for writing so few words about this scene. I don't have words, I only have Big Emotions.)

No. 8: Dinners and Dancing

It's night time now and the four of them are having a nice wedding dinner. Style makes friendly conversation as usual, while Fadel sits there and barely socializes. Jimmy brags about his husband's cooking skills, and Style immediately responds with a brag of his own because his own boyfriend is just as good as cooking. And this time around I think the boyfriend drop is a lot more deliberate than it was at the beginning of the episode, because this time around he actually emphasizes it a little. The word "faen" is the word he stresses the most in the sentence. Then he turns to Fadel and teasingly compliments him: "His burgers are to die for." In Thai, what he says word for word is "make very delicious burgers":

ทำเบอร์เกอร์อร่อยมาก [tam - ber-gêr - à-ròi - mâak] make - burger - delicious - very

Note how there is no pronoun in this sentence. That means, the sentence can be taken either as "He makes very delicious burgers" because Style was just talking to Jimmy and this sentence is still addressed to Jimmy or the sentence could be taken as "You make very delicious burgers" from the way Style is saying this sentence directly to Fadel's face. You hear that? That's you. You're my faen that makes delicious burgers. I love you. Fadel scrunches his eyebrows, skeptical and confused. Style smiles brightly, grabs a spoonful of food and offers to feed it to Fadel. Unlike Fadel earlier that day, Style actually does feed him gently. In fact, he doesn't force the food nor the caring gesture onto Fadel. He holds out the spoon and once again waits for Fadel to go along of his own free will which Fadel awkwardly does after a moment of hesitation. Then, Style goes back to making friendly conversation and we get a bit of backstory about how Popcorn and Jimmy used to live in the city as salarymen and then came to live on a farm because Jimmy loves nature. Style finds in romantic that Popcorn left his good life for a more difficult farm life. Fadel still holds a grudge and asks Jimmy why he cheated when Popcorn had done all of that for him. Jimmy says it's only human to get lost sometimes and that he's come back home in the end. This has Fadel even more pissed. He bangs his fist onto the table so forcefully that it jumpscares Style right next to him. "Only because you take him for granted," Fadel snarls. Popcorn awkwardly says he's already forgiven Jimmy and Style puts his hand on Fadel's hand to calm him down. Fadel looks at Style and Style gives him a little bit of a nod, as if to say Hey, it's okay. You can let it go. You don't need to settle this argument for them. Fadel leans back into his chair, resigned.

Jimmy changes the topic and asks where Fadel and Style are going and Style immediately has a believable answer ready. "We’re heading south. Kinda hoped it was going to be a romantic road trip date." And let me just share a more literal translation about the road trip, because he shamelessly and also very deliberately this time throws around the word boyfriend again:

I wanted to go on a road trip with my boyfriend. พอดีตั้งใจจะมาขับรถเล่นกับแฟนนะครับ [poh dii - dtâng-jai - jà - maa - kàp rót lên - gàp - faen - ná - kráp] because - intend to - will - come - drive for fun - with - boyfriend - [particle] - [particle]

When Style says the word boyfriend, he turns his head and pointedly says "faen" directly into Fadel's face. Because he still considers Fadel his boyfriend, whether Fadel likes it or not. After all, they've never officially broken up. And no, multiple death threats that have involved an actual a gun do not count as a break-up as far as Style is concerned. Not if he still has any say in it. Because their relationship is that serious to him. Because from the moment they started dating, their relationship was never fake to him. Fadel squints his eyes. Popcorn then asks how they met and Style tells them: "I was kinda dared into taking him out, but then I actually fell for him." And again, just a little correction on the whole "I was dared to" part:

It started with me deceitfully flirting with him. มันเริ่มจากผมไปหลอกจีบเขาครับ [man - rêrm - jàak - pŏm - bpai - lòhk - jìip - kăo - kráp] it - start - from - I - go - deceive, trick - flirt - him - [particle]

Nowhere in the way Style phrased it does it say who thought of the idea of the fake flirting. Nowhere does it say whether someone else made him do it or whether it was Style's own idea. Style isn't putting the blame on someone else and in a way is actually even kinda making himself look bad here since it could be taken as Style having come up with the scheme by himself. Popcorn and Jimmy don't know that there are two other guys involved in this story. Popcorn says "Such is love, isn’t it?" and Style turns to look at Fadel for a moment who meets his eyes. Popcorn then continues with "It can start from deceit, but it zigzags its way into something beautiful at the end." Style turns to Fadel again, throwing him a very pointed look. Something beautiful, huh? Did you hear that? Fadel pointedly ignores Style and his pointed look. The newlywed husbands discuss the natural process of a relationship – bickering, fighting, boning. This greatly amuses Style and he looks at Fadel again. In fact, he stares at Fadel for several seconds until Fadel finally properly looks at him. And that's when Style raises an eyebrow at him. Well?

And it's fun, because the scene started out with Fadel doing a thing with his eyebrows and it ends with Style doing a thing with his eyebrows, almost like an answer.

Style's energy in this scene is very boyfriend-like. Fadel took a step back and withdrew at the presence of these two other people, and now that Style doesn't have to fend off Fadel constant stream of personal digs at him anymore, Style comfortably slips back into that boyfriend role. And it's not just that he's comfortable in this role, no, he is proud to be Fadel's boyfriend and proud to have Fadel as his boyfriend. Style brags about Fadel and his cooking skills and calls him his boyfriend to anyone who will listen. Style keeps Fadel in check when Fadel gets hotheaded and is absolutely up for going through the natural process of bickering-fighting-boning if Fadel is up for it as well. And most importantly, Style is simply just happy to be around him, happy to spend time with him. Style is proud of him and he is happy with him and he wants Fadel by his side. He means that choice from the bottom of his heart and so he will act accordingly. Especially now that he is finally starting to understand why exactly Fadel is hurting.

No. 9: Big Small Matters

The time for dinner is over and the time for dancing has started. Fadel and Style sit on the couch, they're watching the happy couple and especially Style is delighted at their happiness himself. After a while, Style turns to Fadel and says "Cute couple, aren’t they? Just like us". This is the third time this evening, a rather short time frame, that Style has made a reference to them being in a relationship (referring to Fadel as his "boyfriend" twice and now calling them a "couple"). And yes, he did blatantly refer to Fadel as his boyfriend when they were talking to the aunty at the motel too, but I think this time around Style is very deliberately and consciously doing so given his observations of Fadel earlier that day. They're a cute couple. Style means it. No joke. No trick.

Fadel is quiet for a moment, then says "We're not a couple". Definitely by sheer coincidence the song that Jimmy put on just happens to be about forgiveness and just happens to play the lyrics Just overlook what is trivial right before Fadel's reply. Style asks Fadel if he wasn't listening to the lyrics and quotes them back at him. Fadel is not amused: "You think what you did to me was 'trivial'?"

Now, the phrase that the song uses to say "trivial" is เล็กๆ น้อยๆ [lék lék nói nói] which word for word makes something like "small small little little". I asked my Thai language buddy if this word was like the word "Kleinigkeit" in German and he confirmed. There is no perfect English equivalent for the word "Kleinigkeit" but it basically means something like "small matter" or "little thing". Depending on the situation there could be other meanings that go along with it. For this context right here "no big deal" could even work in English. Now let me share what Fadel actually said:

You think that you deceiving me is no big deal? (lit. "is a small matter?" / "is small?") มึงคิดว่าเรื่องที่มึงมาหลอกกูเนี่ยมันเล็กๆ น้อยๆหรอ [mueng - kít wâa - rêuuang - tîi - mueng - maa - lòhk - guu - nîia - man - lék lék nói nói - rŏr] you - think that - thing, matter - that - you - come - deceive, trick - me - [particle] - it - small (matter), little (thing) - ?

Fadel uses the word หลอก [lòhk] here, which means "to trick" or "to deceive". That means, he doesn't just vaguely say "what you did to me" but he explicitly tells Style that the thing that has been bothering him is Style deceiving him, Style tricking him. By now you may have noticed a pattern to the orange color: The word หลอก [lòhk] comes up a lot this episode. I've bolded and marked this word orange all throughout this post so you can see just how many times and in which contexts this word is used. Style uses it during the dinner when he says "I was kinda dared into taking him out" (more literally: "It started with me deceitfully flirting with him"), Popcorn uses this word when he cries "The likes of you who lead people on deserve nothing but death!" (more literally: "People that trick others into loving them all deserve to die!") and Fadel uses the word when he says "But he lied to you. (more literally: "But he deceived you.") after Popcorn says he doesn't actually want Jimmy to be killed for real. And now Fadel uses it again to call Style out: "You think what you did to me was 'trivial'?" (more literally: "You think that you deceiving me is no big deal?").

Fadel is mad that Style tricked him, that Style deceived him. This much was already obvious from Fadel's emotional reactions to Popcorn and Jimmy's dispute, but now Style has explicit confirmation. This is where he needs to start working at if he wants to earn Fadel's forgiveness.

The newly-wed husbands walk over and invite them to dance, too. Style is up for it, but Fadel really doesn't want to. Style talks him into it and pulls him up. Reluctantly, Fadel gives in to Style just like he always does.

They dance a little, but at some point Style turns to Fadel, puts his hand on his shoulder, smiles, and tells him: "I know what I did wasn’t 'trivial.' But I’m ready to do anything to make you forgive me." Now for that first sentence you might think that in the Thai line Style repeats Fadel's words from earlier ("You think that you deceiving me is no big deal?") where Fadel used the word หลอก [lòhk] and you might think that Style would use it now, too. But actually, he does keep things more vague in the original itself as well:

I know that what I did was a big deal. (lit. "was no small matter" / "isn't a little thing") กูรู้นะเว้ยว่าเรื่องที่กูทำอ่ะ ไม่ใช่เรื่องเล็กๆ น้อยๆ [guu - rúu - ná wóiie - wâa - rêuuang - tîi - guu - tam - à • mâi châi - rêuuang - lék lék nói nói] I - know - [particle] - that - thing, matter - that - I - do - [particle] • not - thing, matter - small (matter), little (thing)

Maybe Style is referring not only to the fact that he tricked Fadel into loving him but also to how Fadel feels "cheated on" because he did end up falling for Style's (initially) insincere flirting, was head over heels in love with him only to find out Style wasn't his but was "the police's" and that the love wasn't real, was just a trick.

Or maybe there is something we don't yet know about? (Like, there is still the mysterious Boonterm mention from episode 3? Or, something that had COMPLETELY slipped my mind when I was writing my ep7 meta and so ended up writing something from a completely wrong perspective: Style has seen Keen before when he eavesdropped on Fadel and Keen's conversation and so in ep7 in the men's room it could also be taken as Style stopping Fadel from discovering Keen on purpose, which brings up the question... what's up with that????) Or maybe he just keeps it vague so that he can say it at a later point explicitly.

Anyway, so Style firmly tells Fadel that he knows he was in the wrong and that he's ready to do anything to earn Fadel's forgiveness and then pulls him into a hug while they continue to dance. This hug doesn't last very long, though, because next thing Fadel and Style know is that they're being attacked by Jimmy and Popcorn. Luckily, Style sees them in time and shouts Fadel's name in shock and to warn him. They both tumble down and Fadel has his gun out before they've even hit the couch. Fadel shoots into the air and while by now Style is very familiar with the image of Fadel pointing guns, this is the first time he's witnessed Fadel actually fire a shot (from a real gun, that is. Not a BB gun). A shot, that protected not only Fadel himself, but also Style. And while Style does still look at the gun for a moment again, he is nowhere near as frozen or worried as he was when Fadel pulled the gun on Popcorn and Jimmy the few instances earlier this episode.

For a second time that day, Fadel and Style tie up Popcorn and Jimmy. Style makes a comment about how he was off about the serial killer part but they were nearly killed by someone after all. Style's fear and anxiety from the day has proven to be justified. Fadel nags that Style trusts people to easily and that he's only interested in other people's love lives. Style doesn't see a problem with that: "I’m a hopeless romantic. Can’t help it that love stories touch me." Or in Thai:

I'm a romantic person. กูมันเป็นคนโรแมนติก [guu - man - bpen - kon roh-maen-dtìk] I - [marker] - be - romantic person I'm easily tricked by touching things. โดนหลอกด้วยอะไรซึ้งๆง่าย [dohn lòhk - dûuay - à-rai - séung séung - ngâai] be tricked, deceived - by, through - something - touching - easy

I just want to point out that Style uses the word หลอก [lòhk] here. Style gets tricked by romantic, touching things the same way as, you know, someone else in this room feels like he got tricked by romantic, touching things. It's like Style is saying What? Can you blame me? I, too, get tricked by love.

Fadel moves to remove the arm sling and Style goes to help him. Fadel lets him, doesn't block him. And I'm sure it was absolutely necessary for Style to put his arm around Fadel's shoulder like that for easier opening of the buckle. Duh. Style smiles a little as he slides off the arm sling. Fadel makes his way up the stairs. Style first looks at their tied up victims, then watches Fadel walk upstairs. There are certainly things on Style's mind. He'll be voicing them in the bathtub in a bit.

No. 10: Fadel in a Bath Fadel in a Bath Na Na Na Na Na Na Fadel in a Bath

Style finds Fadel in the bathtub and wants to join in. Fadel is reluctant at first, but is also not in the mood to argue with Style and so Style starts getting undressed. Now, usually I'd just skip past this part of Style getting naked and hopping into the tub because it's not a relevant process. However, during this process he does something very interesting: When he lays down his clothes he touches the gun, as if to make a grab for it before he goes and covers it with clothes.

I'm gonna be honest, I really have no idea what to make of this moment. As to why Style covers it, it could probably be because he wants it out of sight, out of the way, wants it gone. Style has made it very clear on multiple occasions that he doesn't want Fadel to be killing people and he will also be telling Fadel exactly that in just another minute as well. Away with the gun.

But if that really is the case, then I still don't understand why Style would touch the gun in the first place. If he wanted to hide it, he could have dropped his shirt down on it without bending down and touching it. But Style does go through the effort and the way he touches it almost looks like he is about to pick it up. The "Style + guns" counter goes up to 5.

Style is also very deliberate about it. He has his eyes glued to Fadel, watching him carefully through the entire process. That has me wonder if Style is maybe testing Fadel. Is he testing Fadel's trust, maybe? Because Fadel did say that the words out of Style's mouth are no longer trustworthy, but what about Style's actions? Are those still trustworthy? Technically Style is also still Fadel's kidnapping victim, so what would the kidnapper do if the victim goes for the weapon the kidnapper has been using to keep his victim in check? But Fadel's reaction is just a raised eyebrow and a bit of an eyebrow scrunch like What exactly is it that you're doing? It's a clear message, but at the same time Fadel doesn't even move a single muscle that indicates he is about to do something to get the weapon away from Style.

Fadel watches Style closely, but doesn't interfere. There is a certain amount of trust involved here, because Style could have easily made a quick grab for it and pulled the gun on Fadel for once.

I actually asked @secriden about her opinion on this because I didn't quite know what to make of it and she came back with an interesting perspective I also want to share:

Oh, I think the purpose of that was to show that Style is really choosing to be with Fadel. In that scenario Style literally has all the advantage— Fadel is naked in a bathtub and he's hampered by a broken arm and literally being in a slippery situation. Like if Style wanted to just take the gun and shoot Fadel there was little Fadel could've done at that point. But Style touches the gun and makes deliberate eye contact and then covers it with his clothes like he's saying "See? Even when you give me the chance to seize control what matters to me is another chance to fix our relationship." He's basically proving his own words when he said "I'll do anything to make it up to you." This includes letting a chance go literally take back his LIFE because the gun still symbolises a threat to Style's life (even if we know Fadel isn't going to go through with it).

After covering the gun with his clothes, Style gets into the tub and the first thing out of his mouth is: "I’m glad you didn’t kill them." And we know this to be true, because we saw how afraid and how tense Style was earlier when the gun was involved. Fadel reminds him that he only kills bad people and even if he disapproves of Jimmy's cheating, at the end of the day it's none of his business anyway. Style states "You’re pretty decent at your core, you know?" and I sigh in exasperation again, because it's not that Fadel is just "pretty decent", no, Fadel is a good person. And buckle up, because there are quite a few language notes to follow over the course of this scene.

Really, you're a good person at your core. จริงๆสันดานมึงเป็นคนดีนะเว้ย [jing jing - săn-daan - mueng - bpen - kon dii - ná wóiie] really, honestly - nature, core - you - be - good person - [particle]

Having made this assessment, Style wants to know how come Fadel is a hitman then and Fadel says he gets hired, there's nothing more to it. Style says it's not true that Fadel is doing it just for the money. Fadel comes back with a challenge: "Why not? You don’t know anything about me." In Thai he actually phrases it like a question which I like because it makes the challenge a bit more direct and Fadel's words sassier:

You know me well? มึงรู้จักกูดีเหรอ [mueng - rúu-jàk - guu - dii - rĕr] you - know - me - well - ?

(German speakers: the mood of this sentence is actually more like "Kennst du mich denn gut?", not just "Kennst du mich gut?")

So Fadel throws Style a sassy question, but Style has an answer, and what an answer it is:

I may not know your past but I know your present well. กูอาจจะไม่รู้จักอาดีตมึงแต่กูรู้จักปัจจุบันมึงดีนะเว้ย [guu - àat-jà - mâi - rúu-jàk - àdiit mueng - dtàe - guu - rùu-jàk - bpàt-jù-ban mueng - dii - ná wóiie] I - may, might - not - know - your past - but - I - know - your present - well - [Particle] Official subs: "I might not know who you were in the past, but I know who you are now."

It's not just that Style didn't know who Fadel was as a person in the past, but also Style was neither present in Fadel's past nor did Fadel share much about his past apart from the fact that his parents were shot. Style may not have been there for Fadel's past, but Style is very much there for Fadel's present, he's lived Fadel's present by his side for a while now and has gotten to know Fadel's life and Fadel himself really well. And Style is here for Fadel's present despite all things that should make him want to leave. Style is here for Fadel's present despite all the things he knows or maybe even because of all the things he knows. He knows Fadel is a killer, but he also knows Fadel is a good person. Being here for Fadel's present, Style's gotten to know many different side's of Fadel that make him want to stay in Fadel's present. Style smiles at him. Fadel can't run away from the mortifying ordeal of being known forever. It's too late. Style already knows him significantly, whether Fadel wants to acknowledge it or not.

Fadel looks away from him and when he looks back at Style, Style brings back the topic of Fadel only killing bad people and asks how Fadel decides. Fadel claims he decides based on his own experiences. Style tells him:

You're not a court passing sentences on other people's lives. มึงไม่ใช่ศาลมาพิพากษาชีวิตคนอื่นนะเว้ย [mueng - mâi châi - săan - maa - pí-pâak-săa - chii-wít - kon èun - ná wóiie] you - not - court - come - judge - life - others - [particle] Official subs: It’s not your job to judge that kind of thing, you know? Just quit doing it. เลิกทำไปเหอะ [lêrk - tam - bpai - hùh] quit, stop - do - [particle] - [particle] Official subs: Why don’t you just quit? The more you keep doing this, the more your life will never be at peace. ยิ่งมึงทำแบบนี้ ชีวิดมึงยิ่งไม่จบไม่สิ้น [yîng - mueng - tam - bàep níi • chii-wít meung - yîng - mâi - jòp - mâi - sîn] the more - you - do - like this • your life - the more - not - end - not - end Official subs: If you keep going, it will never be over.

You may have noticed that in the interlinear translation of the last sentence it says "not end not end" which doesn't make a lot of sense, of course. Style actually uses two different words for "end" here. I asked my friend about it who explained that "not end" as in ไม่จบ [mâi jòb] refers to something external (the killings) while "not end" as in ไม่สิ้น [mâi sîn] refers to something internal (Fadel finding inner peace). The more Fadel keeps killing, the more he'll be stuck in this life and the more he won't be able to rest.

Fadel doesn't want to be lectured, but Style isn't actually saying all this to lecture Fadel. It's a well-meant warning because Style cares about Fadel and his well-being:

I just think there's probably no one who will warn you and mean well for you as much as I do. กูอ่ะแค่คิดว่าคงไม่มีใครเตือนและหวังดีกับมึงเท่ากูละ [guu - àh - kâe - kít - wâa - kong- mâi mii krai - dteuuan - láe - wăng dii gàp - mueng - tâo - guu - lá] I - [particle] - just - think - that - maybe - there is no one - warn - and - mean well for - you - like - I - [particle] Official subs: I just think there’s no one out there who wants the best for you more than I do.

Fadel just stares at him and Style smiles back. He means it. After a moment, he puts his feet on Fadel and targets the nipple. First of all, it's time to be a little shit again and try to annoy his way back into Fadel's life and second of all, maybe I think he hasn't given up hope of getting some yet, even if Fadel is still back to being grumpy. Also, it's my personal headcanon that Style put his feet on Fadel for the same reason Dunk did: the tub is simply just too small for these two grown men.

Fadel reminds him that just because he lets Style mess with him it doesn't mean he won't kill Style. Style tilts his head. That's death threat number what? And yet, Style is still here and still able to mess with Fadel. "Go ahead. Blow my head off whenever you want." Style is here, ready to accept his fate. "I’m a bad person for making you fall for me, head over heels, and then betraying you. I deserve to die." And here is where the exact wording is important again. Literally he says: "I'm bad. I tricked you into loving me, I tricked you into being crazy about me, and then I betrayed you. I deserve to die."

Sorry in advance, but the following will be chaos. There is only so much formatting I can do in a tumblr post (I wish I could add a table!). The arrows indicate the literal translation. The colors will make sense a paragraph down.

→ I'm bad. กูอ่ะมันเลว [guu - àh - man - leow] I - [particle] - [marker] - bad Official subs: I’m a bad person → I tricked you into loving me, หลอกให้มึงรัก [lòhk - hâi - mueng - rák] trick, deceive - that - you - love Official subs: for making you fall for me → I tricked you into being crazy about me, หลอกให้มึงหลง [lòhk - hâi - mueng - lŏng] trick, deceive - that - you - be crazy about Official subs: head over heels → and then I betrayed you. แล้วหักหลังมึง [láew - hàk lăng - meung] and (then) - betray - you Official subs: and then betraying you. → I deserve to die. กูอ่ะสมควรตายเว้ย [guu - àh - sŏm-kuuan - dtaai - wóiie] I - [particle] - deserve - die - [particle] Official subs: I deserve to die.

The wording is significant, not just because our keyword หลอก [lòhk] makes another appearance, but because Style repeats Popcorn's (aka Fadel's mirror, the one voicing how Fadel feels inside) words back to Fadel. Let's compare with what Popcorn was saying: "You tricked me into loving you and being crazy about you and then you do this. [...] There are no chances for bad people. People that trick others into loving them all deserve to die!" (Style's words: "I'm bad. I tricked you into loving me, I tricked you into being crazy about me, and then I betrayed you. I deserve to die.")

→ You tricked me into loving you and being crazy about you and then you do this. มึงอ่ะมาหลอกให้กูรักกูหลง มึงก็ทำยังเงี้ย [mueng - à- maa - lòhk - hâi - guu - rák - guu - lŏng • mueng - gôh - tam - yang -ngíia] you - [particle] - come - trick, deceive - that - I - love - I - be crazy about • you - [sentence link] - do - like this Official subs: You made me fall for you and then betrayed me. [...] → There are no chances for bad people. โอกาสมันไม่ได้มีไว้สำหรับคนเลว [oh-gàat - man - mâi dâai - mii - wái - săm-ràp - kon leow] chance - it - not - have - keep - for - bad people Official subs: The likes of you don’t deserve second chances. → People that trick others into loving them all deserve to die! คนที่หลอกให้คนอื่นรัก สมควรให้ตายไปให้หมด [kon - tîi -lòhk - hâi - kon èun - rák • sŏm-kuuan - hâi - dtaai bpai hâi mòt] people - that - trick, deceive - that - others - love • deserve - that - die - all Official subs: The likes of you who lead people on deserve nothing but death!

As you can see, Style uses almost the exact same words that Popcorn used and they are all words that Fadel had an emotional reaction to earlier that day. Style's been paying attention. Style finishes with "I deserve to die" just like Popcorn claimed was the case and then closes his eyes and tilts his head back a little like Go on, shoot me. I am at your mercy and I am ready to die for my sins.

Two things are happening here with this little monologue: Style is being a little shit by shamelessly mocking Fadel's empty death threats. Style knows Fadel won't kill him over this, because if tricking people into falling in love had been enough of a reason to fall under Fadel's category of Bad Person™ then Fadel would have killed Jimmy earlier that day. But Jimmy is alive. And so is Style.

And the other thing is that Style is also letting Fadel know that he's figured out what Fadel is really angry about. Style is fully acknowledging now what he did that hurt Fadel so much. It's very different from earlier that day when the car broke down and Style was all "Hey, what happened happened. Let it go. Shouldn’t you be looking forward to the future? Focus on the future. Let go of your grudge." I think in the beginning Style assumed that while yes, Fadel would think Style's love was fake, the main thing he was angry about was Style being a snitch for the police. But then they ran into Jimmy and Popcorn. And then Fadel got unnecessarily offended at someone else's trickery in a relationship Fadel had nothing to do with. And Style paid attention. It's not that Style was working with the police that's the problem. The "working with the police part" is the thing that Fadel was already suspecting and expecting from the beginning. Fadel had been ready for that. That wasn't the problem. No, what hurts the most is that Style had the audacity to play with Fadel's heart first before "cheating" on him by being on the police's side. Fadel is upset because he thinks Style's love was insincere, that it was all just an elaborate trick while for Fadel himself the love was all real and Style now fully and actively realizes that. And acknowledges it. Except, Fadel denies his feelings: "Don’t be so full of yourself. I never fell for you."

Now, when Fadel tells Style not to be so full of himself, he actually tells Style not to คิดไปเอง [kít bpai eng]. Literally this phrase makes something like "think by oneself" and it's a phrase that my friend defined as "to come to a conclusion without there being any solid evidence for it". Fadel is basically telling Style something along the lines of "Don't make shit up, I never loved you." And yeah. He does indeed say "I never loved you" which to me sounds almost more hurtful than "I never fell for you":

กูไม่เคยรักมึง [guu - mâi koiie - rák - mueng] I - never - love - you

Fadel is a lying liar. And Style knows it. He stares at Fadel for a moment as if he can't believe Fadel really just dropped this with a straight face, then smiles a little. "You might be good at cooking and shooting, but you’re not very good at lying at all." And with that, Style immediately puts Fadel to the test. He starts slowly kissing his way up Fadel's arms, pausing to check in with Fadel and even more so to check his reaction. When Style gets close enough to Fadel's face, he slowly leans in for a kiss, his eyes fixed on Fadel's eyes. Style advances very slowly, giving Fadel plenty of time. Fadel actually tilts his head a little towards Style, almost welcoming a kiss, but when their noses are about to touch Fadel turns his head away. And you'd think Style would be annoyed about Fadel refusing him once again, but instead Style smiles. Because I don't think Style went into this with the goal of actually seducing Fadel, of actually trying to sleep with him again like he did in the race car bed in the beginning of the episode (though I'm sure he wouldn't have minded if Fadel had consented). No, this wasn't an attempt at getting into Fadel's pants. This was a test. Fadel refuses to kiss Style and Style smiles a little, looking almost amused. He was expecting this.

There it is. Proof that Fadel is a lying liar who lies. Proof that Fadel is mad about and hurt because of the exact things that Style has just listed only moments before. Proof that Fadel did love him. Does love him. Still loves him. Style keeps looking at Fadel, but Fadel keeps his head turned away, avoiding eye contact at all costs. Instead of calling Fadel out for being a liar again, Style raises his eyebrows and backs off.

He sits back down on his spot at the other end of the tub and makes a promise: "As long as I'm alive, I'll make you kiss me again." Fadel, who in the meantime has started looking at Style again, lifts his head and goes back to avoiding eye contact with Style once more. He looks around the room. Looks anywhere but at Style. Looks at the painting at the wall instead. And that's when Fadel realizes. He knows exactly where Bison is. And with this we are left to wait a week for the next episode (except the next episode will already be out by the time I manage to post this rip).

If you think I have already spent enough words on this scene, think again. Because the dialogue in this scene is really interesting when thinking back to the bed scene from episode 5. Back then Fadel told Style "The real me might be scarier than you think". Towards the end of episode 7 and all throughout episode 8 Style has been getting glimpses of that real Fadel that he was warned about. Back in episode 5 Style knew about "the real Fadel" mostly in theory and told him "I promise that no matter what you are like, I'll still like you". And Fadel told Style that Style can judge once he's ready. And what is Style's judgment now that he's gotten to witness some of the real scary Fadel? "You're a good person at your core." And Style's stance on liking Fadel no matter what kind of person he is? "I just think there's probably no one out there who will warn you and mean well with you as much as I do." Fadel warned Style that Style should be wary of him, but Fadel also only kills bad people and Style isn't bad people and Style knows it. Fadel refused to fully open up to Style and right now in his anger he is likely even less willing to open up to Style at all and yet Style knows him, knows his present so well. And Style was even close to witnessing Fadel murdering someone and even though Style would rather Fadel didn't (and doesn't and won't), Style still doesn't judge Fadel for it. And even if Fadel had killed Jimmy, it likely wouldn't have made Style love Fadel any less. Back in episode 5 Style made the decision to be by this man's side and now in episode 8 he still firmly stands by this decision. In fact, maybe even more so now. Both of these scenes end in a promise made by Style: As long as I'm alive, I'll make you kiss me again. One day, I'll be your 100%. Style is absolutely set on this. And it won't be long until he makes good on that promise. At least on the promise he made this episode.

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7)

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he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle · 9 months ago

Text

Unknown - Ep 11 - That Scene

The opening scene of episode 11 landed differently for me than it did for others. I was going to just keep it to myself since I have a minority opinion, but when I rewatched it last night I fell even more in love with it!

The structure!! It's so good! Let me explain.

At the bottom of the stairs, Qian hesitates. He still hasn't made up his mind.

Yuan says "Do you still not get it?" He knows what Qian is feeling, even if Qian hasn't figured it out yet. So he says what he wants very clearly.

Yuan asks for permission to do 4 things:

1. Be more than just Qian's brother.

2. Be who Qian relies on when he's down.

3. Be someone Qian can talk to about anything.

4. Be with Qian for the rest of his life.

Before Qian answers, he revisits 4 sets of memories, each set answering one of Yuan's questions with a resounding YES.

After each affirmative answer, it cuts back to the sex scene to communicate that THIS is the culmination of all those yesses.

In other words, there are 4 direct questions and 4 groups of memories that hold the answers to those questions, 4 times those memories scream the answer is YES, and 4 cuts to a bit of sex.

Let's look at the groups of memories.

1. He thinks back to Yuan's words in ep 9. Does he not want Yuan? Or does he not DARE to want Yuan? And he remembers all the times he felt desire for Yuan, but suppressed it. Can he be more than just Yuan's brother? Yes.

2. He thinks back to Yuan consistently being someone Qian can rely on, all through his childhood until now. "If the world falls down, we'll hold it up together." "You won't be alone." "I like being around you." Yuan genuinely likes being around Qian and has never wanted to leave him. He's shown his commitment to Qian time and time again. Can Qian rely on Yuan when he's down? Yes.

3. He remembers how long and hard Yuan suffered while enduring one-sided love, and that Yuan chose to suffer in quiet for years rather than confess to Qian about it. But Qian knew Yuan was suffering that whole time and hated it. It broke Qian's heart to see how hard it was for Yuan. If he did likewise and didn't talk about things, he'd also break the heart of the person who loves him because of his silence. Yuan laid himself bare and told Qian everything. Can Qian reciprocate and tell Yuan about everything in his life, even the hard things? Yes.

4. He thinks about how Yuan has ALREADY built his entire life around Qian. "I can sum up my life in two words: Wei Qian." Memories of Yuan come like a flood, rapidly gaining momentum. Yuan has already been with Qian for most of his life, and will NOT STOP. Qian can't imagine a life without Yuan. So can Yuan be with Qian for the rest of his life? Yes.

Qian nods and says his answer aloud: You can. And then they kiss.

The sex is not the point. It's the culmination. It's all the yesses stacked on top each other until they break the last of Qian's walls. By cutting the sex so it only exists between each resounding YES, they've made it less about the action of it and more about Qian realizing that YES, they're ALREADY in love and unalterably committed to each other. Why not give in to his physical desires when the rest is so clear?

Others watched this and saw a sex scene interrupted by cumbersome flashbacks. I watched this and saw a dramatic feelings realization interrupted by snippets of quite lovely sex that drove those feelings home.

A final note: It's probably because I'm demisexual, but I am frequently unmoved by sex scenes, especially when they do not advance the plot or the character development. This onscreen scene moved me. It hit the right emotional note. It was focused primarily on Qian's pov (his face is the one the camera is focusing on). And it was artfully done, instead of merely being titillating.

I'm tagging a few people who I recall talking about this in their posts, but it's been a couple of weeks so forgive me if I leave someone out or misremember. @absolutebl @lurkingshan @bengiyo @wen-kexing-apologist @wanderlust-in-my-soul @twig-tea

#unknown #unknown the series #asian gay dramas #taiwanese bl

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curio-queries · 5 months ago

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Are You Sure?!

Episodes 5 & 6 Notes

It was very fortuitous that I've been so busy over the last couple of weeks as I really needed both of these episodes together to make sense of my thoughts. This post is definitely far more conceptual than my last ones so if you're up for it, click on though the cut!

AYS's Main Character?

I would like to propose that AYS has a main character OTHER than the individual humans we're following along on screen. (I warned you, this post was going to be conceptual.) And the main character is the relationship itself, how each of the members relate to one another.

Here's Google's AI overview on what this concept means:

A story can center on the relationship between characters as the primary protagonist, with the dynamic and evolution of that connection acting as the main driving force of the narrative, rather than the individual characters themselves.

Key points to consider:

Relationship-centric stories: Many genres, particularly romance, often focus heavily on the relationship between the main characters, exploring its complexities, challenges, and growth throughout the story.

No single protagonist: In such cases, the "character" is the bond between the individuals, not just one person's perspective or journey.

Exploring the dynamic: The narrative would then focus on how the relationship changes, adapts, and reacts to external situations or internal conflicts.

Examples:

"Before Sunrise": The entire plot revolves around the single night encounter between two strangers, with the developing connection being the central focus.

"Brokeback Mountain": The story primarily explores the forbidden love between two cowboys, highlighting the complexities of their relationship in a restrictive environment.

"Steel Magnolias ": A group of girls in a small town in Louisiana experience grief together, including weddings, fatal illnesses, and the loss of loved ones.

Now before anyone comes for me saying I'm just pitching an argument for xyz fanwar, please note that I included the above just to illustrate the concept of a non-person main character rather than stating any of the above are comparisons to the individual member's relationships. We're talking about a show that was produced and distributed for entertainment, nothing further.

Episode 5

My main feeling after finally being able to watch episode 5 was overall unsettled. There was something sticking with me about that episode and I could NOT figure out what it was.

I knew I was feeling like the entire episode was stretched well beyond what the footage wanted for a complete episode. I'm all for getting to spend more time with our fellas but the Jeju trip would have benefited from being cut down to 2 episodes rather than 3, in my opinion.

There was just a whole lotta nothing happening. The guys eat, travel around a little bit, and eat some more. I had some vague thoughts about how I could quantify some data for y'all to explain this point but then it was time for the next episode...

vs. Episode 6

And what an absolutely lovely breath of fresh air this episode was. I know there have been some Run eps that I review with a smile on my face throughout the whole episode but AYS6?? That was 73 minutes of pure bliss.

So I started thinking about what must be different between the two eps. The guys eat, travel around a little bit, and eat some more...wait, that's exactly what I said about ep 5! Lol

But I think the main difference between the two is episode 6's plot points continually focus on the relationships between the members, while 5 falls a little stagnant.

Some examples:

JM/cat & JK/dog. I'm ALWAYS down for more footage of BTS with pets but this is frankly too much time spent on these scenes. It's honestly footage I would have expected in the bonus content instead of the main product. It's not just an establishing beat or a setup for a callback, this is supposed to be a scene but since it doesn't contribute to the journey of the main character aka the relationships. It could maaaybe work if they'd cut it to highlight the juxtaposition of how JM is calm with the cat vs JKs energy with the dog but that would have shortened the time it occupied and they were clearly trying to keep absolutely everything in that would lengthen the episode.

JKs stew. The ONLY thing that ties this plot point into the narrative of this show (other than it happening while he's in Jeju and Jimin is nearby) is the offhand comment he made that Jimin would like it while he was in NY. I'm going to talk more about this footage below but this was absolutely crucial for this whole beat making it into the episode. This is also why the footage of JM eating it and randomly taking off his shirt was kept in. The cut they chose is actually pretty bad story-wise but they used it anyway. We hear JM saying how much he loves it and how glad he is that JK is a good cook. It ties all of this time we spent watching JK do something alone back into the real main character of the show (the members' relationships between eachother in different circumstances).

Anyway, I won't belabour the point any further. With Tae constantly disappearing from scenes and the slightly diminished lack of focus on the member's relationships, episode 5 left me on an odd note.

A Little Production Note

I was completely thrown by the footage of JK in NY that we got this episode. But not for the reasons you may be thinking. (I do wonder if the anon that was sending in asks about the financing behind the documentaries is still around because we're getting into some of tidbits finally.)

So, all along we've been trying to sus out as much as we can, just a few details about how AYS came to be. We've had some hints but the inclusion of this footage may be another indicator.

The facts as we know them:

AYS is distributed by Disney.

Jungkook's documentary is being distributed by Trafalgar Releasing NOT Disney (at least not now, maybe it'll make it onto streaming after cinematic release but who knows?)

Questions due to the footage of JK in NY:

Was this footage captured as part of JKs documentary?

If so, when was it pulled to be utilized for AYS? Did the editors find it or were the writers involved?

We know that HYBE gathers behind-the-scene content without always having a full plan of how it will be used. But there are times where it did seem intentional for a specific purpose. Where did JKs Golden footage fall in?

Once upon a time, production houses would make deals with distributors about quantities of projects that would be delivered. Was that the case with the Disney deal or has every single project been negotiated separately and we only heard about it once there was a confirmed quantity. Somewhere in the middle perhaps?

And that's all I've got to say for now. I do have some more thoughts about things I've gleaned during these last couple of episodes but it'll likely keep until the end.

Anyway, this footage bumped me because it broke the rules of cross-project production. They got away with it for JKs SEVEN footage in ep 1 because they likely were using the same production crew since it was literally the same day so it doesnt feel like they're'breaking the wall'. But the NY-Jeju crews could have been completely different.

Editing to add further clarification to this point in this ask.

On a sidenote, do y'all remember the last time we got footage of jikook in a hotspring?? I'll jog your memory if not, it was in BV:4 and they 'washed each other's faces'. I can't even imagine what we're about to see in episode 7.

Link to my AYS MasterList

#Are You Sure?!#AYS #park jimin #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung #vminkook #jikook

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tategaminu · 4 months ago

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Some predictions for S7

It seems some people are concerned about Rayla and Callum being separated for half the season when I honestly don't think that will be the case. They have never been separated more than two episodes, you could say "well it could happen now!" but I doubt they would do that in the same season we will fully see them together for the first time.

Now some proof or my own guesses to favour this:

In this screenshot Rayla isn't with Callum, she could be out of frame but I don't think so.

I'm guessing he went ahead since maybe Rayla's wings weren't working anymore (they said they didnt't last forever if I remember correctly)

Look how sad he looks, he has no gf to cheer him up over Katolis' destruction.

Now, we see Rayla and Ronaldo standing up in front of the Banterlodge, why are they here? I think Callum told them to meet there since it's a place both him and Rayla know.

Why is she in attack mode?

Looking at the trees it seems Ezran, Aanya and the animals seem to be around the banterlodge. Maybe Rayla sees the katolians coming or Ezran asking Corvus and Soren to arrest Raul and she gets defensive ofc, tho it doesn't seem to be an overly agressive stance.

We have confirmation that Callum and Ezran will have a conflict and Ezran is gonna be mad about Runaan, so maybe Callum defends Runaan here and confesses that he is the one who fred him, making the brothers fight. An upset Callum then leaves with Rancher and Rayla.

My guesses are, Callum and Rayla separate in episode 1 and reunite in late episode 2 or early episode 3 (they tend to "meet" in the second episode lol) maybe ep 2 ends with them meeting and the cliffhanger of Ezran finding out about Ronald.

Callum, Rayla and Richard arrive at the Silvergroove (perhaps is on episode 3 to parallel season 3) we get the Ruthari reunion and Rayla's trial in the same episode, a confirmed to be a very emotional episode.

The place Rayla is having her trial on seems to be the lottus pond thing, we only see her, The Keeper (I didn't know moonshadows could have beards okay dude) and the ghosts of the deceased assassins. I'm guessing she will have to be forgiven by them to be accepted back on The Silvergroove and she will need a lot of emotional support, I don't see why Callum wouldn't be there since he was there when she found out about her ghosting so he being there when she gets unghosted makes all the sense.

Callum, Stella and the other ones are out of frame probably watching this, unless this is another place where they aren't allowed.

I wouldn't be suprised if Rayla doesn't want to go with the trial at all but we get a little callback to this with Callum saying something similar, maybe even more agressive this time.

Now onto the next clue, this oopsie leaked scene by the animation company:

Stella jugglinga adoraburrs! look how cute!

I'm fully convinced this is a rayllum scene, it screams romance with the flowers and singing baitlings "oh it could be ruthari!" yeah? maybe? but let's look at the clues shall we:

Stella is there, Stella is always with Rayla

Callum and Rayla love adoraburrs

Sneezles is there, Sneezles is always with Callum

There are two lovebirds and Rayllum tends to attract animals (very disney princess/prince if you ask me)

The baitlings are singing, screams Rayllum corniness (kiss the girl!)

Rayla and Callum have something going on with boats

Maybe Callum and Rayla decided to take the rest of the baitlings with them to the Silvergroove (for some reason)

Maybe this scene isn't before the mid season at all and it's at the end! but for now I choose to believe it's kind of the calm before the storm scene. Maybe Rayla and Callum are celebrating her unghosting, before Aaravos starts fcking shit up and they have to leave and go back to Ezran. I don't think this will happen in the way to The Silvergroove because 1) third wheeling Runaan would be uncomfortable and I don't think Callum would prepare this at all in the way unless he wanted to annoy him hard idk 2) Rayla and Callum didn't need to cross water to arrive at TS the first time.

I'm choosing also not to believe this is at the end because them leaving The Silvergroove mid season for them to come back at the end wouldn't make much sense to me unless they are getting married right in this scene mostly because I don't think Rayla and Callum will choose to live in there, at least for now, and this will be the end of the arc not the series so yeah, they could be visiting tho and this could be a chilling ending scene.

In a summary, I don't think rayllum will be separated for a lot of episodes and Callum is totally going to The Shitlvergroove maybe they will get separated again when she gets kidnapped

listen you can't separate them for much unless it's against their will

#tdp #the dragon prince #tdp spoilers #tdp s7 spoilers #the dragon prince spoilers #rayllum #predictions #im bored okay #continue the saga #give us the saga

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liveinfarbe · 4 months ago

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Adar and Galadriel reminiscing about their Beleriand days…

These are clips from episode 4 and 7 of season 1. Notice the knife/dagger-parallel.

I've been researching the Silmarillion a little bit, because I think it gives hints about time and place in Adar's flashback account. This got lengthy. I write about the questionable Moriondor assumption by Galadriel and the esteem for flowers, blossoms, willows, glades in the lives of Galadriel and Celeborn, in Beleriand and beyond, and a possible path for hope, forgiveness and growth after trauma, that would lie in a dark Celeborn meets dark Galadriel story: Adar informs Arondir that he's been young in Beleriand once and used to walk down the banks of the Sirion river for miles and miles. He noticed sage blossoms, apparently liked the view, because it left a lasting impression. What I get from this (given the cosmology of that world is actual history and not just mythical) is that it must've happened after the sun and the moon appeared and pulled Middle-Earth out of its darkness, or else there wouldn’t be miles of sage blossoming. It thrives in full sunlight. This puts the account at the end of the First Age, after the Years of the Trees. Interestingly, this is after the "creation" of the Orcs by Morgoth.

Whatever bond and similarity Adar has with the Uruks, he’s apparently not one of those Moriondor that Galadriel talked about to him. I assume the Moriondor concept reflects Tolkien’s idea (he had several) that elves were captured by Morgoth after their awakening in Cuiviénen under the starlight and before Oromë found them and then got corrupted and twisted and thus became the first Uruks. While Adar shares certain physical traits with them, he can’t be one of those first Uruks, because 1.) he lived far in the West, in Beleriand, 2.) the sun had risen, 3.) he’s lived among elves that spoke Sindarin and Quenya, since he speaks it too and not some Avari language, though he could've learned all that in Angband during idle hours, I don't know, he learned black speech too. Anyway, the first mentions of Orcs roaming Beleriand is in Y.T. (Years of the Trees) 1330, but Melkor (at this point in time he's not yet given the name Morgoth by Fëanor) is incarcerated in Valinor. Sauron is in Beleriand though, hiding out in Angband, waiting for Melkor's return, "breeding" Orcs apparently, because their numbers grow and they "roam" Beleriand. This is 200 Valian years before the sun. I'm no loremaster, but I know this is a long time. At this point and later, Adar is still, as he describes himself, young. So Orcs were breathing living creatures before that elf-man became Adar. "Young" I see as meaning before he got captured and tortured and then brainwashed by Sauron as part of the “13 of us” (ep. 2x2).

So something doesn't add up, and Adar implies that in his interaction with Arondir in ep. 1x4. Are the tales of Moriondor a widely spread myth created by Elves, since all accounts about Orcs mostly stem from Elvish chroniclers? Maybe this is what Adar hints at. He says to Arondir

“You have been told many lies. Some run so deep even the rocks and roots believe them. To untangle it all would all but require the creation of a new world.”

He thinks only gods can do that, and he ain’t one…yet. Unlike Morgoth who raised mountains, or other Valar whose wrath sank a whole landmass like Beleriand, and later Númenor. He's just doing what he must, realizing Morgoth's terraforming plan and resettling the Uruks so they can live freely.

The "many lies" that he mentions are reflected in the things that Galadriel - who’s famous as "the scourge of the Orcs", even in Númenor - says to him when she interrogates him in episode 1x6. She’s full of hate and delivers a truly genocidal speech to him that shocks herself in the aftermath. (She acknowledges that somewhat self-critically to Theo in ep. 1x7, and it might be one of the reasons she rejects Sauron's offer later)

The truth about Adar's origin story isn't yet revealed. I think it will be, because the writers put some effort in it, dropped cues and hints in excellent dialogue and made him a multilayered character. Finally, let’s come back to the flowers and blossom mentions in the clips above because they could very nicely tie back to Galadriel and Celeborn in Beleriand and beyond. Adar says he “went down that river once”. Let’s see, if he, for example, came from Doriath and went down the Sirion towards its mouth and saw a lush amount of flowers blossom, he could have come through a region called Nan-Tathren or Tarsarinan that is literally called Valley of the willows. Possibly the home to Galadriel’s “glades of flowers” she danced in.

Why would she dance there and not in Doriath? I don't know, but there's a clear hint that she was in that region and even made meaningful personal connections there. With Ents. And Celeborn, too. Tarsarinan, Valley of the willows, means something to the couple and Treebard, as mentioned in a passage in The Lord of the Rings. The memories of Celeborn, Galadriel and Treebard of that place are intimately entangled.

Then Treebeard said farewell to each of them in turn, and he bowed three times slowly and with great reverence to Celeborn and Galadriel. ‘It is long, long since we met by stock or by stone, A vanimar, vanimálion nostari!’ he said. 'It is sad that we should meet only thus at the ending. For the world is changing: I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, and I smell it in the air. I do not think we shall meet again.' And Celeborn said: 'I do not know, Eldest.' But Galadriel said: 'Not in Middle-earth, nor until the lands that lie under the wave are lifted up again. Then in the willow-meads of Tasarinan we may meet in the Spring. Farewell!

“Many Partings” - The Return Of The King - LOTR - J.R.R. Tolkien

Okay… 1.) Treebard's “It is long, long since we met by stock or by stone” sounds a lot like Adar’s words to Arondir "even the rocks and the roots believe them", 2.) A vanimar, vanimálion nostari! is translated as "Oh, beautiful ones, parents of beautiful children"

That last point reminds of Adar's relationship to the Uruks and the rhetoric surrounding it: Adar whose name translates as "father" calls the Uruks "my children", "my sons and daughters", main difference is that they’re not that beautiful, neither is he — but that lies in the eye of the beholder. Does Adar imply the propaganda about Uruks is so pervading that even the eldest Ents believe them? Possibly his old friend Treebard… ?

I mean he's certainly wreaked havoc in the woods, forced the felling of trees, displaying not much respect for the Ents. On the other hand, Adar is shown planting Alfirin seeds, that grow into flowers. He's still very Elvish, full of respect and longing for "new life, in defiance of death".

Finally… Lothlórien, Galadriel and Celeborn's later safe space, is literally meaning "Lórien of the Blossom". Treebard calls it "Dreamflower".

With all that cherishing of flowers - I think even his chain mail shirt displays flowery ornaments - could Adar be Celeborn in a rather depressing and long-lasting dark phase of his life in ROP? Explaining where he’s been all that time since she last mocked him as a “silver clam”? And if he is not, wouldn’t that be a really good story if he was? Adar doing the work could be an arc about hope and the possibility of healing and changing — it’s what Galadriel needs, too, in the long run.

At this point she’s confused and hurting after the betrayal by Sauron, because she liked him more than anyone in ages, but also because she had to witness herself being unreliable and, frankly, unwise. Yes, she’s vindicated for having always been right about Sauron, but the way she went about it fills her with shame, it’s gnawing at her, not primarily because of wounded pride, I believe, but out of compassion for the victims of her actions. Not unlike Míriel after her return to Númenor. It begs the question to them both if it was all needless, if there really is a greater good in what's unfolding now? At this point in the narrative, the Númenorian intervention that Galadriel pressed for must feel like a Pyrrhic victory with grave consequences and implications for the future of Middle-Earth as well as Númenor. It has caused immense trouble and pain already to many other people that Galadriel gave Sauron a clap on the back and an army. She still has to fully confront herself about that, she's still vulnerable to the darkness inside her, because she's hurting. She has Elrond to help and guard her, but other than that, who's there for her? I mean, in the end she has to accept that it's not her who can slay Sauron, she needs to come to that understanding. It's a battle within herself she hasn't yet had the courage to take up because she still can't face her lingering grief at this point in any other way than turning it into anger.

#galadriel x adar #adar #adar should be celeborn even if he is not #the rings of power #lotr trop #rings of power #lotr rings of power #trop meta #galadriel #adariel #Adarborn

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midnight1nk · 2 months ago

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So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

WOW, a Mario Reacts! It's been a long time, hasn't it? Hell yeah, I can work with this!

(no bc seriously, I just finished watching ep. 7 of Arcane before this and I need an emotional break, yeah I know the rest of Act 3 is gonna kill me)

(the following is my live reaction:)

oh hey, Mario! Wassup?

jigsaw, is that you?

oh nvm, hello Swag! nice to see you again since last episode

I'm about to commit a crime [*strikes a pose then walks away*]

I'm willing to work in a government office just so I can come up with an acronym like, gee idk, Y.U.R.I. or something (I should've been a worker in NASA)

NO STOP STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?!

At this point, Mario, I would just give up

[*clears throat*] mejor me muero, ni modo que sigo con estos porquerías. bueno como dice Mario, bye bye [*drinks some water*] alright I'm back

TADC? ah, just a normal Saturday

no thoughts, head empty

honestly, mood

well, in his own way, yeah

[*echoes announcer voice*] VR, the new era of entertainment

...mr puzzles? nah jk jk

oh, Four's theory may not be wrong here (omg it's jesus)

still can't believe christianity is canon in the SMG4 universe

oh, so I was right! [*jigsaw voice*] "I wanna play a game."

That's actually kinda sweet that he immediately chooses his brother

OH SHIT OOOOH that's gotta hurt

NO MARIO, THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME

[*other me pops in*] emo girlfriend, omg it's smg3

no, we're NOT gonna look too much into this, shut up other me

PPFFFTTT that caught me so off guard

say it with me now: YOU CAN'T CONTROL MARIO [*applause*]

I mean, we've been through simulations before, we can take this one too

unironically, I wouldn't mind a 10-hour video of just Mario (and/or the rest of the Crew) just dancing :)

it doesn't even need to have music, I can just put my playlist on and I would totally join in

ooooh, you want to scan that QR code so badly

but also, how did they get a screenshot of my computer?

Mario 🤝 Mario Buddy from the last episode → destroying PCs for the LOLs

AKLDHLKSAFB;KL just the way Mario goes for a fighting stance just so he could run away will never not be funny to me

LET ME IN LET ME INNNNNNNNN

10 hours, welp I got my wish lmao

Mario morphing his face... hmmmm..... [*flashback noises*]

[SMG4: MAR10 Day]

....

don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it

KIRBO NOOOOOOOOO

NO NO NO SWAG NO

same vibes

meme factory? youtube arc? is that you? /j

(yeah I know that the Team uses the same assets ik)

LET'S DO THISSSS oh welp time to vibe

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

what would that be, Swag? Try not to Laugh challenge? I might win tbh

LET'S GO GAMBLING

laughing because of early victory call? very in character for Swag

oooh that's some good animation (y'know, as always)

HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE

am i thinking too much into this or is this the same military base from last episode?

Alright, my little headcanon: the events of this episode and the last one took place on the exact same day

that's just for me specifically

oh hey, more TADC ref

Also, nice PINGAS STUCK IN A DOOR ref

man Mario can't catch a break dude

Congrats to CMorseu for your art being featured at the end credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Such a good episode! Not plot-heavy, just a silly episode. I'll gladly take it as my late birthday present. And it's great to have Swag back, kinda was half-expecting Chris to just pop out.

I've said this once and I'll say it again: I wouldn't mind if the rest of the year is just filled with goofy episodes. After all, we just came from WOTFI and we do need a bit of a break so the Team could work on the next arc. (From the looks of things, we might get goop!4 *cough cough*)

Loved the bits of animation and Mario's expressions as always.

Now, I know there is some talk about the SMG4 Crew/Mario Does Things being on hiatus and merging with the Saturday videos. If you can even call it that. Personally, I don't mind it. I completely understand if doing 2 episodes per week is a lot for the Team to handle, though I do wish they would give an explanation for it. I think the best solution would be for the Team making an announcement of the change, the reasons behind it, and how it may be different from the regular Saturday episodes. Also make it clear that "hey, the title says this so it doesn't impact the main storyline".

Anyway, it has been overall a pretty funny episode and I quite enjoyed it! Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna cry my eyes out watching the rest of Arcane Act 3 and bring that angst to the next episode concept :)

OH THE MISERY EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY ENEMYYYYYYY

#smg4 #smg4 mario #smg4 swag #ink reviews #and no i'm never gonna forget the I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE scene

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inkybyl · 1 month ago

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The Bad Batch x Fem!Pregnant!Reader: Part 2

Crosshair’s Apology

18+, NSFW themes! Minors DNI

Part 1:

Quick Summary: Life on Pabu with your boys was everything you could ask for, finally putting the war behind you… rarely do you get a moment’s peace with each of your boys solo, but when Crosshair tempts you back to your home from the market, the pair of you discover unresolved feelings that dated back to Order 66.

A/N: Originally the last fic was supposed to be a one shot,,, but I had a lot of fun writing the previous fic 👉👈 So I couldn’t help myself and see if I could add anything onto the dynamics shared between the Boys & the reader! If you read the previous part I hope you enjoyed! And thank you so much for the likes! This one takes on a bit more of a serious tone so I’m hoping I’ve managed to do Crosshair justice!

And oh my stars I’m so sorry - this was not supposed to be this long but I couldn’t help myself 🫣

I hope you enjoy!

If there are any content warnings I’ve missed please let me know! My brain’s turned to mush since finally finishing this!

Word Count: 12.8k (EXACTLY 🤩)

Briefly Proofread!

Content Warnings: Reader’s Relationship with Omega is PLATONIC!

Fem!Reader, Pregnant!Reader, POLY!BadBatch (the Reader is in an established relationship with the boys).

Angst: Flashback to TBB Ep 1/Escaping from Crosshair, descriptions of shooting, Reader injury & scarring. Reader & Crosshair talk about feelings.

Fluff & SMUT/NSFW - Dirty/Rough talk at the beginning, descriptions of receiving oral with Crosshair! Descriptions of Reader’s sleeping dynamics with each Batch Member.

NSFW Mentions of intimacy with each member.

Mainly fluff (sorta), wholesome and domestic dynamics with the Batch + Omega. Slight Spoilers, Set after Season 3! J just in case!

• Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum: I hold you in my heart for eternity. •

Banners by @saradika !

I added banners!! 1) for prettiness and 2) this shi is so long omg

You and Crosshair entered through the door tangled in each other’s arms. It was almost like something out of a holofilm, your hands darting over the other in pure desperation - your mouths only parting at the corners to take deep breaths in and out. His lips only parted from yours to kiss and nip at your neck, his hand tilting your chin up before softly wrapping around your throat. A desperate whine left you as he closed the door, sternly moving your back into the cool wood of your wall whilst his leg came to rub at your core.

“Never known you to of hid yourself this well, kitten,” Crosshair growled into your ear, “So fucking desperate, and acting all innocent today, too.” He continued, beginning to leave his claim over your jugular, softly squeezing your neck and revelling in the gasps and moans that left your lips. His eyes flicked over to see your face, his trousers instantly tightening at how your eyes were rolling back, your plump lips caught between your teeth and cheeks tinted with a dark rouge.

You looked over to him, your hand desperately clutching the back of his head to pull him back in for a breathless and messy kiss, your hand trailing down his chest, fingers eventually hooking at the top of his waistband, moaning at how tight the fabric had strained.

Crosshair was pleasantly surprised and was in no rush to complain about your eager advances, but as soon as his arousal had hit him, so had the memory of what he had promised to you back at the market. His right, bionic hand caught your wrist, his left coming up to your cheek with his thumb on your bottom lip. He’d love nothing more than to have his way with you, to have you clutching to him with overstimulation, to mark you from head to toe. To have you rough and ravaged.

But things were different now, he knew you both would have many moments in the future to claw at each other, physically ripping the clothes off of the other, but he wanted to treat you. He wanted to let you know how much you meant to him.

You both had shared soft and intimate moments before, sometimes privately and sometimes in front of his brothers. Crosshair was always content with being the one you could go to when you were absolutely feral and needed to be put in your place, or sometimes even putting him in his.

He loves you, and he loves what you’ve solidified for him; a long and content future with his family. The hand on your cheek trailed down to your rounded abdomen, a soft hum leaving you, “Cross? Did I… was I going too fast?” You asked, cheeks now taking on a tone of embarrassment as he shook his head, kissing your forehead - a stark difference from a few moments ago.

“No, riduur. Nothing like that.” He hummed, placing his forehead on yours in a sweet keldabe kiss. His hand was placed on the underside of your belly, a smile coming to his face, “As much as I would love to kriff you against this wall, I believe I promised you something a lot more relaxing.”

Your hand joined his on top of your dress, a soft sigh leaving your lips, a cheeky grin forming, “That is true… however~” The sniper chuckled at your tempting purr, “Believe me, cyare, we’ll have time for that. Let me take care of you before the other’s get home.” He mumbled, his lips chasing yours.

He guided you towards the bedroom, closing the door behind him - the bed still in a half-made state from before you all left to meet with Echo and Omega. Your eyes flicked around the room, smiling at the open window with the curtains flowing with the Pabu wind. Something so simple, yet meant so much; you were all safe. You could afford to leave your windows open, to have your bed right next to such a thing that showed the beautiful rising sun each morning. The bed that you shared with the Batch in your home was, compared to the barracks and bunks you’d grown accustomed to, massive.

The bed was specially made for all of you, the squad refusing to sleep in a separate bed from you, even if it meant sleeping with a few awkward elbows in each other’s faces and bodies with attempts to nudge closer to their beloved. Your cuddle piles were a top contender in defending the reason behind such a large piece of furniture, but you loved the evenings you spent with them. They would all take turns laying next to you, and a nod to their adaptive nature; most of the time they would all find a way to lay with a part of their body touching yours.

The most common positions recently involved you sleeping on Wrecker’s soft yet sturdy chest, sometimes even laying on top of him like a massive pillow, your arms and legs spread over him - the picture Tech took of you for commemoration looked absolutely hilarious one time. Even before you had become established with the boys, you would all huddle to Wrecker for his warmth and comfort some nights on the Marauder, or even on some missions that kept you all out for days on end, he helped you all feel and sleep safe. Wrecker knew that his stature was intimidating to a lot of people they’d interact with over the years, working to his advantage most of the time to get the boys what they needed as quickly as possible. Yet he never scared you, you loved how easily he could pick you up for a hug, to help you reach the taller parts of your home - and using him as your own personal body pillow was something he would never say no to. If anything, it made him smug knowing that his whole body could encapsulate you, rubbing it in when he would turn you both over in the cuddle pile away from the embrace from his brothers.

Echo loved being close to you whenever he returned from his mission to save his clone brothers, the Batch agreeing without having to exchange words that the ARC Trooper would remain skin-to-skin with you every night during his home visits. He adores being next to you, especially how tenderly you would kiss his skin after helping him remove his prosthetics for bed. He found a way, with Tech’s help, to find a material that was both sturdy for the battlefield and a good conductor of heat for bedtime - just in case the call of sleep was far too great and couldn’t find the energy to remove his appendages. Sometimes you just wanted to love on him, referring to his arm and legs, or lack there of, as ‘his lil’ nubs’ - at first it was meant to tease him for a laugh during your days on the Marauder, but now you couldn’t help it. You would kiss his scarred skin more times than he could ever count, sometimes the soft connection of your lips being the very thing that sent him to sleep. A peaceful sleep, at that.

Hunter would love to hold you close to him, making sure all his senses could calm at the fact that you were still here; with him, with his Vode. He knew that you were real, that you were always there every night when he would fall asleep, and there every morning when he awoke. His senses could dull knowing that you were safe and at peace in his arms. He was always on alert, even back on the Marauder, when it was his turn for you to sleep in his bunk, or his turn in yours, he would ensure you were against the wall - instinctively shielding you from anything that could burst in at any moment. But now, on Pabu, he slept with less tension in his muscles. With you and Omega safe and sound after all they had been through, he could feel his body release and relax all the stress he’d been holding in all this time. With you being there for a cuddle at the end of every day, your soft snores that he could pick up on was worth every bit of torment he went through to get to this point. Even if it wasn’t his turn to be the one cradling you in bed, just your scent and heartbeat surrounding the room kept him at ease.

It was a mission in itself to get Tech to fall asleep, he would work himself for days without so much a wink of slumber, the only time you vividly remember him sleeping was after removing Wrecker’s inhibitor chip on Bracca. Your approach to get him to finally rest had to be choreographed with the help of his brothers. The first time you got Tech to stay in one place was asking him to read to you, the many facts and findings of his journeys from before you joined Clone Force 99 was a strong plan. Tech was delighted to know that you wanted to listen to him, used to being interrupted and shushed with his ‘useless information’. He knew his brothers’ were well-intentioned, but he jumped on the opportunity to talk about his data in a heartbeat. It must have been hours before he first heard your soft snoring on his chest, his cheeks heating up with how cute you looked, and how endearing it was for him to realise that you fell asleep thanks to him soothing you. He was going to move, to tuck you in and continue working until you tugged at his blacks, “Mph… why’d you stop…?” You mumbled, drooling ungraciously on his pec. “Ah. Well… alright then.” He would find that he lulled himself to sleep embracing you that first time, and he never wanted to go without it again. He was a very reasonable man, but sometimes he couldn’t help but pout when he felt exiled to the edge of the bed (it was Hunter’s turn to cuddle you). Usually the nights would have your head tucked under Tech’s chin so he could work on his data pad without the light blasting your eyes. Once you all made a life on Pabu, the boys couldn’t help but feel uneasy without the constant whirring of their ship that they were used to, and with you enjoying Tech talking you to sleep, they found themselves enjoying his soft facts before and during bedtime as well.

Crosshair would never admit before you joined the squad that his Vode’s cuddle pile, from their cadet days that grew with them, would set his mind at ease. His fidgeting and nail biting would cease at the feeling that all his brothers were still there with him, and then you came. You would put his mind at ease, yes - but he was a man of few words and could never tell you how much he loved you being there, being able to be the one to put your mind at ease for a change. His turn with you could be as soft as an arm over your waist, to having your face smooshed into his skin under his chin. He loved feeling like he could be a calming force for someone, a comfort he would always seek out was now sought out towards him, and it warmed his heart. He was cold, abrupt and spoke only with purpose, and for you to seek warmth from the sniper confused him to no end - but he would never stop you.

As if on cue, Crosshair leant his head down to your shoulder, breaking you out of your pleasant trance and leaving gentle kisses along your bare skin and the few faint scars from before this comfortable life.

“Lay down on the bed, cyare…” The sniper told you, his hands stroking your arms. With a soft groan, you crawled onto the bed, somehow forgetting about the added weight of your pregnancy on your front, reaching the pillows and turning around to lay on your back, smiling up at the handsome lithe man in front of you.

After you situated yourself along the pillows, Crosshair followed you along, leading small kisses along your shins, his hands coming up to your foot to rub at the tender skin. The cold from his mechanical hand shocked your senses slightly, making you flinch with a ticklish giggle. Instead of moving his hand away, the smooth metallic thumb began to dig away at the knots and swelling in your foot, his left hand contrasting the cold with a warm stroke of his thumb afterwards.

You let out a sigh, your nerves loosening beneath his skilled hands, your leg twitching now and again from the sensitivity, but eventually he worked his way from your foot up to your calf, his head leaning over to place a kiss on your belly, “How’s that, cyare?” He whispered, watching you with content when you leant your head back, closing your eyes, “So good…”

His dexterous fingers found some knots in your calves, carefully caressing them out. His hands worked up above your knees, fingers now sliding underneath the skirt of your dress as he started work on your thighs. You couldn’t help but moan as he stroked over one of your swollen muscles and another faint scar, one that you had injured around the time that you had met Omega, actually.

You’d actually injured it when…

… Oh…

… When getting away from Crosshair…

Usually when you thought back to the events of your first meeting with Omega, Crosshair’s turn during Order 66 would leave you feeling slightly glum, but nothing that would ruin your day. You weren’t sure if it was your hormones; or just how tender Crosshair was being with you; maybe the fact that you were pregnant and there was an overwhelming sense of hope running through you. But the thought of this life not even being possible hit you like a modified Podracer.

You brought your arm over your eyes, you kept telling yourself that ‘… it’s okay, he’s right here, it wasn’t his fault… we’re all safe…’, cursing whatever force decided to crash a wave of emotion into you. You tried to think of something else, like Crosshair’s current gentle affections towards you, but in due time your bottom lip began to quiver as the memories came flooding back…

“Best stand down, Sergeant.”

Crosshair spoke, his posture had been full of confidence with a new squad of stormtroopers behind his back.

“Make it easy on yourself.”

“Have you lost your mind?!”

Your squad couldn’t believe their eyes. Your mouth had gone bone dry, your grip on Omega’s shoulders tightening as she glanced at you in concern. You tuned out majority of the exchange between Crosshair and Hunter, your eyes solely focused on the sniper from behind your cover. How could this have happened? One of the men you loved with all of your heart, all of your being, was ready to order a squad to open fire on you all. The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat along with a screaming ringing in your ears.

It wasn’t until Crosshair’s eyes had twitched in your direction that brought you back to where you were, before snapping back to his brother, “Now surrender.” He growled. You shook your head, trying your hardest to ignore the swell in the back of your throat, noticing Hunter’s glance back at you and the rest of the boys, bringing your helmet over your head and bringing your blaster to an aim. Omega looked up at the slight tremble in your arms with concern, you could feel that she wanted to reach out and comfort you. But she couldn’t, not now. You had to stay focused, you all had to get out of here.

“Is that an order?” You heard Hunter ask, his tone darkening slightly before Crosshair scoffed, “Heh. I guess it is.”

“Well… I guess I’m disobeying that one, too.”

You traded glances with Wrecker, Echo and Tech, all of you waiting for someone to make the first move. Your heart was still pounding, and you were sure that Omega must have been able to see and hear it through your armour. You had to keep it together, for just a bit longer until you got away from this.

You were caught off guard when Crosshair had fired at Hunter, your Sergeant ducking down and rolling over to you and Omega to avoid the incoming fire from the troopers at the other end of the hanger.

You began firing your blaster, cursing once smoke clouded your vision after the Corries must’ve thrown out some smoke bombs. You ducked down with your hand resting on Omega’s back, knowing that Crosshair would be using his thermal by this point. “Tech, we gotta’ move. Now.” You heard Hunter.

“Wrecker, clear the smoke on 3.”

“You got it, boss.”

“Omega, stay low - (Y/N), keep us covered and make sure she doesn’t get hurt.”

“Right.” You agreed through your voice modifier with a swift nod. You brought your attention back to the stormtroopers, focusing on where the blaster fire was coming from through the smoke, firing your blaster with a few calculated aims - hearing some shouts in pain and seeing a reduce in loose fire. It wasn’t until a blast had narrowly missed your head, shooting past you, your breath hitched and bile rose to your throat once you realised who it had come from.

He should have been able to make that shot. Was it a warning? No. It couldn’t be, he’s aiming to kill. Had he went to dodge a shot at the same time? Whatever it was, it had you ducking with your hand coming to your chest. You weren’t going to panic here, not now.

Omega looked at you, gasping at the thin burn mark that managed to skim across the side of your helmet. Hunter’s voice in your comm brought you back to reality with his countdown, Wrecker yelling, “3!”, before running out with two metal plates to clap them together, some of the thicker smoke clearing to show some troopers advancing on your position. Wrecker then tossed one plate towards the soldiers, taking them down in one fell swoop before throwing the second in Crosshair’s direction.

The sniper rolled out of the way and aimed with great poise, pulling the trigger and hitting Wrecker, his helmet flying off as he landed on the metal ground with a harsh whack. “Wrecker!” You yelled, your grip on Omega’s shoulder faltering and she took the opportunity to try and run towards him. You knew what was going on as soon as there wasn’t a finishing shot dealt to Wrecker, your eyes widening as you saw her run past Hunter, “Omega, don’t!”You looked towards Crosshair from your cover and saw how without any hesitation, took the shot that would have struck Omega down.

Thankfully Hunter pulled her back just in time and swung her back into your arms, “He’s using Wrecker as bait!”

“But he needs our help!”

She argued back, you squeezed her shoulder, “We can’t help him if we end up shot, Omega!” You told her, turning the both of you so that your back was against the cover, Omega still in front of you. If you were to be shot then at least your armour would pose some chance of protection for the young girl. After some more shots towards the troopers and your lover, you heard Hunter speak to Omega, signalling for your attention, too. “When I say ‘go’, you head for that ramp and don’t stop. Got it?” She nodded as you listened to his plan to give Echo cover to help Wrecker onto the Marauder.

You readied yourself, running out with Hunter to start firing towards your assailants, keeping them behind cover as Echo started to walk towards the ship with Wrecker’s arm over his shoulder. With a few final shots of cover fire, Hunter turned back to help his brothers. You were a competent fighter, you had proven time and time again you could provide them with cover fire.

But your head wasn’t in the game.

This wasn’t like you, you could fight, but you’ve never had to fight against one of your loved ones. Your aim was faltering, and was your visor fogging up? You were distracted, confused and most of all sloppy.

Under your unpredictable fire, Crosshair had managed to peek around his corner, dealing a shot to your right thigh that sent you back onto your rear with a loud shout. “(Y/N)!!” Your boys called out to you, your arm was still outstretched and firing at the Coruscant Guards, crawling backwards whilst you showed no signs of stopping.

Your adrenaline was the only thing keeping you from breaking down and keeling over in pain or passing out. With a couple more shots to give Hunter and Echo time to bring Wrecker onto the ship, your eyes flicked towards the barrel of Crosshair’s sniper. He wouldn’t miss this time, and you knew he wouldn’t. You hadn’t the time to process that you had stopped shooting, too overcome with the shock of your situation and the fact that Crosshair was about to pull his trigger, lining up his shot with a bullseye to your skull.

It never came, instead a blast was shot directly towards his sniper rifle, knocking it down to the ground. Crosshair turned towards you all, and you couldn’t guess what expression he held under his helmet. You, Hunter, Wrecker and Echo followed his gaze, finding Omega with a blaster in her arms, panting.

His hesitation with surveying the situation was short lived, instantly grabbing his pistol from his holster to start firing once more before Omega started setting off loose rounds, giving Hunter the time to run to you. He slid down, his arm sliding under your knees whilst his other came to your back, picking you up and sprinting as fast as he could to the ship. The searing burn of your shot scorched through your nerves once you were moving again in Hunter’s arms, your teeth gritting beneath your helmet as you hissed and groaned in pain.

He ran up two steps at a time, narrowly avoiding shots that came from Crosshair. You peeked over Hunter’s shoulder, your hand coming down to his thigh holster and aiming his pistol at Cross, firing at him to keep his shots uneven, giving you both more time to get onto the cover of the Marauder as it began to lift off. Crosshair’s visor locked with yours, you couldn’t fire at him directly, but you were sure as hell he wasn’t shooting any more of you or your squad. The last you saw of him was with your arm outstretched with a pistol aimed at his form, before Hunter slid you into one of the bunks Echo must have prepared when he got Wrecker sat down on a chair.

~~~

“OUCH!”

Wrecker yelped once Echo injected him.

You were lying on one of the bunks, your helmet still on with your leg raised on a makeshift stirrup when Echo made his round to you, gently removing your thigh plate and grimacing at the burn in your leg. Thankfully the Republic issued you armour that had slight more protection than usual, probably because you were a civilian and weren’t quite as expendable as clone soldiers in their eyes at the time. Your thigh plate had a hole burnt through it but had taken majority of the blast’s momentum, the shot only burning through the layers of your skin and reaching your muscle, but no further.

Once you were on the ship you had told Echo to grab your medkit, you knew he knew what to do but you couldn’t sit in silence, telling him what was what from the bunk while Hunter had elevated your leg. You wanted to help Wrecker yourself but you couldn’t move, you didn’t want to, you didn’t even want to remove your helmet.

You didn’t know if you had started crying because the pain came barrelling at you all at once, or from what had happened with Crosshair before Echo nudged you with his scomp. The trooper tried to find your eyes through your visor, “I’m gonna inject you now, okay, cyare?” You nodded slightly, hissing once the needle pierced your skin.

He made his way back over to your kit, grabbing a second injection for Wrecker. Omega walked past you, you hadn’t noticed that she sat next to you with Lula in her arms. She held the stuffed Tooka up to Wrecker, “Is… this what you were looking for?”

With an excited gasp, the demolitions expert reached over to the stuffed toy, “You found my Lula- OW!” His excitement was interrupted by Echo injecting him in his distraction, you couldn’t help the soft smile that came to your face as you watched them, hearing the cockpit door hissing open to show Tech coming down with his data pad.

He scanned you over whilst Echo wrapped your leg in bandages, securing the bacta patch over your wound and placing a gentle kiss to your forehead over your helmet. “Hey, hey hey hey! What’s all that gonna do?” Wrecker asked when he saw them both hovering over you, his concern evident in his face as he grasped his shoulder.

“She’ll be okay, just stay still, Wrecker.” Echo told him, not wanting his shoulder’s injury to worsen. Wrecker had made a grunt to stand up, wanting to come over to you while Hunter placed his hand on his good shoulder, shaking his head lightly. He didn’t like that you were silent, and possibly in pain, with a quiet gruff he looked over to you, “Hey, sarad. You okay?” He asked, eyes creased with concern. You appreciated it, you really did, and with a gentle wave of your hand he heard you through your voice modifier, “I’m all good, Wrecker. Just stings a little.”

His lips along with Hunter’s pursed in skepticism, but they didn’t want to push. Eventually Echo and Tech had finished patching you up, one of them finding a structure on the ship that could be used as a crutch, helping you walk whenever you would need to. You sat up with your legs hanging over the bunk, grateful that the attention was on Wrecker now. At least that was what you thought.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You heard Omega’s timid voice enter your ears. You looked down at the young girl, sighing as you finally removed your helmet while she climbed up the bunk to sit next to you. “I’ll be fine, Omega. I just… I’ll need to have some time to figure this out.” You smiled at her. Her brows pinched in concern, her hand coming onto yours, “If you… If you need anyone to keep you company… I can be that person!” She offered, and couldn’t help the smile that came to her cheeks.

Seeing this young and innocent girl smiling made your heart swell, she was the very reason you returned to Kamino and you’re glad you did. You wished that things could have ended differently, but you didn’t want to dump all that onto her. You knew later on, when Omega would inevitably fall asleep, you can have your moment with your boys, you can seek out your comfort later. Right now Omega was here, looking out for you instead.

The thought of how selfless she already was at her age made you chuckle, wiping your eyes and taking a few deep breaths to compose yourself. You turned your attention to the open door of the cockpit, seeing the stars through the windows. An idea came to mind, smiling down at Omega, “Wanna see something cool?” She gave you a confused but excited nod, helping you stand up and making sure your makeshift crutch was under your arm. You let her walk alongside you into the front of the ship, hearing her gasp once her eyes landed on the lit up space, calming you down from the recent events. You pushed your pain to the back of your mind, including the pain that came with Crosshair in that moment, living in the moment of Omega’s newfound happiness. The boys followed you both soon after, each one placing a supportive hand to your back as they passed you, giving you some space but letting you know that they were still here for you when you needed them.

Tech took a seat in the pilot’s chair, Wrecker behind him as Echo lead you to the seat behind the co pilot’s, where Hunter let Omega sit. After a discussion about where to go next, you couldn’t help but smile at Omega’s wonderment as Tech prepared the ship for hyperjump.

You hadn’t thought of that day in a while, the pain of how fast you had to move on in the hectic moments, that followed your escape from Crosshair, had rarely brought a moment for you to think about it all. Crosshair’s fingers halted at the scar he reached. He’d seen it plenty times in your moments of intimacy once he’d returned to you all, but this was the first time he’d actually looked at it.

He couldn’t bring himself to bring it up, and you had told him enough times that you had forgiven him for what had happened. But that was as a whole - you hadn’t brought up the wound on your leg, and Crosshair couldn’t face the twists in his stomach to keep his eyes on it. Until now.

His fingers hesitated around your scar, taking in a slow breath. It had been a while since you were in the company of just the two of you in your home, your lives were hectic and full of excitement now you were on Pabu. But living with four of his brothers that were also your partners, as well as Omega & Batcher being a part of your lives meant there were little moments to be left alone in peace. You hadn’t actually spoke about what happened.

His eyes flicked up to your face, noticing your trembling lip and how your forearm covered your eyes. His brows furrowed in concern and brought his hand up to your elbow, “… (Y/N).” He called, knowing what was going on through both of your heads. Your lips stopped shaking at his voice, your arm revealing one of your eyes glossed over, “Cross… I’m sorry- I…” You attempted a soft chuckle, sitting up and wiping your eyes, “I’m sorry, ner ram’ser… I think my hormones are playing up or something,” you tried again, trying to snap yourself back into a positive mindset before Crosshair held your arms, slowly bringing them away from your face.

You knew you couldn’t avoid his eyes forever, and with a soft sigh you brought them up to his. “I’m sorry Cross- I-I don’t know why-“

“I’m sorry.”

He swiftly interrupted you, his eyes not leaving yours once, only moving when he had to blink. “None of this is you. Not your, ‘hormones’.” He cringed when he quoted you, not wanting you to blame anything to excuse you for being emotional.

“I… We… We haven’t spoke about this…”

“We have Cross, and you know that I-“

“Not that.” His hand came to your scarred thigh once more, “… This…”

Your breath hitched, and you were frozen. He was right. You hadn’t actually spoken about the day he hurt you. “Cross, we don’t have to…”

He clicked his tongue in annoyance, “Yes. We do.” His hands came to yours, “I shot you. I shot Wrecker. And on Bracca I—“

Crosshair’s head was full of self-loathing after shooting the lieutenant on Barton IV. After he couldn’t save Mayday. There was so much going on through his head, and if it weren’t for Omega forcing him out of his thoughts and pulling him out for an escape on Tantiss, he wouldn’t even be here to sit here with you.

“I shot you. I…”

Your eyes began to tear up, “Yeah… you did…” he swallowed nervously, “And it kriffing hurt.” You mumbled, looking down at the scar on your leg. “But it didn’t come close to when you left us, Crosshair.” You whispered, and he knew that you were talking about Kamino, after what happened at Tipoca City, when he decided to stay on the landing platform alone.

You looked away, not wanting to make him feel any worse than he probably already did. “I’m not a child, sarad… if you’re angry you should let me know…” he muttered. He knew you so well, and you knew him. It was what he loved about you, how his cutthroat delivery never antagonised you when he just wanted to know what was going through your head. You knew that was just who he was.

With a sigh, your hand came to your forehead, “Of course I’m angry with you… but how can I be angry when we’re… here! We have a home, we have a family, we’ve come so far- I shouldn’t be angry at you! It wasn’t your fault when you shot me! But you were back in control when you left us! You left me! For that- that-! Urgh!” He closed his eyes when your hand clenched at your dress above your abdomen. He knew you both could have gone years without this conversation, but he needed to hear how you were feeling, he needed to apologise for it all. He needed to know what he was apologising for, but he couldn’t do that if you both decided to avoid it.

“How could you leave us for that-! That fucking empire! They tried to have me assigned to a different squad, a squad of stormtroopers! They said my skills were better suited on soldiers they thought were more ‘valuable’! I fought for you all, and I fought for you, Crosshair! And you fucking shoot me?!” You hissed, all of the feelings you’d been putting to the back of your mind now surfacing. That was the first he had heard about that, when you were pulled for a ‘briefing’ with one of the new Imps after Kaller. He listened to everything you had to say to him without a word, a part of him relieved that you were actually mad at him and not prioritising his feelings over yours in this moment.

You assumed the group should’ve been back by now, they had either spent more time walking around the market, possibly bumping into Phee. Or perhaps Hunter picked up on your… conversation with Crosshair and decided to give you both the peace you needed. It wasn’t until the golden glow from the sun hit the corner of your eyes, realising that the sun had started setting.

You sighed, looking up at your lithe partner, seeing the regret on his face, thinking that if anything was going to age him, it would be that. “I know you don’t need me to tell you anymore that I forgive you, Cross… but it hurt. It hurt so much…”

His hands came up to your cheeks, looking at the tears that started to gather along your lashes, “Why did you leave me, Cross…?”

The sniper’s breath stuttered, his thumbs rubbing your tears away. He wasn’t like his sister, Omega, he wasn’t good with words, and he couldn’t cheer you up like Wrecker could effortlessly, but he didn’t have to do what they did. He didn’t have to imitate his Vode because you knew each other inside and out. You both shared an understanding unique to anyone else. He brought your foreheads together, closing his eyes before declaring to you, “I’m not leaving you again.” His hands came down to your bump, fingers rubbing circles into the fabric of your dress, “I will never leave you again.” He enunciated, bringing his left hand up to your jaw to look into your eyes once more.

You wiped your tears away, his declaration warming your heart and made you realise how much you needed to hear him say that. You brought your hand to his jaw as well, “Say it again…” you whispered, brows furrowed as your eyes closed. You could feel him tilt your heads to be nose-to-nose, his breath fanning over your lips, “I’ll never leave you again…” he murmured. Neither of you could deny the pull as you leant forward, your lips meeting shortly after his words. The kiss was filled with apologies and forgiveness, breaking apart for air with his lips trying to chase after yours. You both looked into each other’s eyes, your thumb tracing the tattoo along his skin.

He subtly leant into your touch, his gaze never leaving yours. You didn’t have to hear him say the words, ‘I’m sorry.’ You could tell that behind those enhanced eyes of his, that it was the only thing going through his mind, and that was more than enough for you. You placed your lips back onto his, your hands sliding from his jaw and cheek to meet behind his neck.

Crosshair was still situated between your legs as he carefully leant you back into the mattress and propped your head up on the pillows, your kisses had grown hungrier, your heart still pumping from the anger you had let out moments ago. His arm came to rest by your head, his other tracing down your hip. His lips left yours to return to the marks he’d left on your neck earlier, kissing them with a tenderness you hadn’t experienced to this extent before. “Never leaving you again,” he breathed out, trailing his kisses down to your collarbone and over your sun dress.

He was getting lower and lower, until his chin brushed against your stomach and stopped. “Cross…?” You whispered, watching his movements as he raised his head to look down at the rounded bump. Slowly, he brought your dress up to reveal your pregnancy, fingers delicately tracing the stretched skin, his pupils expanding in adoration. The sniper leant down to kiss at your belly, placing his forehead against your growing babe. “Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum.” Your heart stuttered at his promise while he continued to place soft kisses along your rounded abdomen.

“Every day I missed you.” He spoke as he moved down towards your thigh, his thumb gently tracing the scar that was there because of him. He didn’t look away this time, leaning to place a longing kiss on the fainter skin, “And I’ll spend everyday making it up to you.” He spoke, his forehead gracing the taut mark when his hand brushed across your bump once more. You whimpered gently at the softness of his words, your heart pounding at the confidence you had in your partner, how he would always be there for you - just like in the days before the empire. You were all back together again, and that was all that mattered to you both.

He took one last look at the scar, his thumb rubbing over it again once more before trailing his kisses to your inner thigh. Contrasting his usual rough advances with you, he left soft hickeys rather than bite marks, displaying you with his endearment rather than playing with the idea of ownership in your private time. The closer he got to your core, the quicker the heat flushed over your body, slick gathering between your legs - exactly where he was aiming for.

Crosshair had begun to lay kisses along the skin above your core, by the bow of your underwear. His fingers, ever meticulously, lowered the soft fabric away from your thighs and over your knees, having to lean up onto his calves to remove the article of clothing from your feet. Placing a final kiss to your raised ankle, his hands directed your legs to mount up on his shoulders, before sliding back down to your naked region.

He placed a soft kiss on your sensitive bud, a gasp leaving you while a hand came to your mouth, the other curling around the silver locks of hair that he was starting to grow in. “Cross…” You whimpered, hips raising to brush against his lips, “Please…”

Usually when you were with Crosshair, it would be a tug of war between you both to get the other to beg, to plead the other for relief, but this evening was different.

He let out a soft hum, placing delicate wet kisses along your heat, his fingers continuing their promise of massaging the tension out of your thighs. The tenderness of his actions had your head lulling back onto the fluffy pillows behind you, soft gasps and moans leaving you with every kiss he left behind, he was determined to kiss every part of you.

He allowed his tongue to finally flick outwards, tasting your nectar and letting out a lewd groan, his hips grinding into the sheets below. His tongue continued to dance along your pussy, making out with your most intimate area with every feeling he hoped to convey, these few moments he had with you before everyone got home were to be about you, about his apology to you, to make up for everything he had done and everything he had missed.

But by the Maker did he miss this.

You had been intimate since his return, of course, more times than you could count. But he’d never been so desperate to taste you, to let you know how much he adored you and how crazy he was for you, as if to prove to himself, as well as you, that he wasn’t going anywhere - you had him hooked around your finger.

“Cross..!” You whined once more, hand gripping at his head to get him closer to you. Your fingers began to curl into his short locks, enough length to give a swift pull that tempted another groan from him. “If you keep pulling on me like that, I’ll leave you for the rest to fix.” He growled, hinting towards the squad most likely on their way home. “No!” You whined, your hand coming away from his hair to bunch your dress up further to reveal your bra, “Please, Crosshair…”

Your pleading had his eyes tilt up in curiosity, to see how far you were willing to go, “Ram’ser… Please have me how you want me…” you moaned, your hand up by your mouth biting onto one of your fingers, Crosshair’s eyes boring into your own.

“As flattering as it is to hear you speak in Mando’a, love, I’d much rather hear you beg where everyone can hear you scream my name…” Crosshair purred, his tongue coming out to lick a long stripe from your entrance to your clit, eliciting a lewd moan from you, your teeth tightening around your index finger. “But we’ll save that for another day,” he murmured softly, continuing to kiss at your core with adoration. His fingers slightly halted in their massages against your legs, his right hand coming down to collect your slick that’d been leaking out of you - the cold from his metal fingers washed a cool chill over you.

His finger easily slid into your entrance, your back arching slightly as a choked whine left your throat, barely recognisable as his name left your mouth. The digit inside of you began to curl upwards, stroking the tissue that sent shockwaves through your lower body, his skilful tongue not easing your sensitivity as he began to flick the muscle across your pussy with a lot more determination. You could see his hips start to buck towards the mattress while we worked you towards an orgasm, loving how you’d gotten more sensitive thanks to the changes in your body.

It was all so sensual, how he passionately kissed and fingered your core, his tongue stroking above where his knuckles had been brushing. Your walls began to clench around his nimble fingers, your slick leaking out of you more than usual but couldn’t get far before his tongue would lap it all up. The hand that had bunched your dress up began to cup your swelling breast, squeezing around the soft skin and teasing your nipple, desperate to reach your climax.

Crosshair’s eyes looked up and met yours, his cock getting impossibly harder and twitching under his trousers. The sight of you dishevelled with swollen lips and hooded eyes nearly had him lose his composure, your moans bringing him back to the present as he buried his face as close as he could to your pussy.

He groaned when he felt you clench again whenever his eyes met yours, the whines of his name going straight to his straining member, his hips now desperately rutting against the bed, no doubt soaking his boxers and trousers. “You taste so good… m’ can tell you’re gonna cum soon, ner baar’ur.” He moaned, eyes hazed in his almost drunken state, “Missed this pussy so much… missed you so much…” You sobbed at his praise, your head rolling back as you took in deep breaths, your feet and legs beginning to feel numb from your tightening coil. The sensations would ebb and flow, leaving you twitching under his grasp, and his words weren’t helping.

“Couldn’t stop thinking ‘bout you,” he admitted, his movements losing their rhythm as his pleasure began to fog his head, his ears burning with a blush, “Wanted you so bad- and now I have you again…” He murmured, sucking at your clit acutely, feeling you start to reach your peak. His hips were jerking towards the bed almost in pain - he’d rarely cum this quickly, and only with his mouth against your core isn’t unheard of between you both, but this fast? He’d never live this down.

He couldn’t care less right now, his fingers scissoring inside of you and feeling your wetness across his tongue was all he could think about. “Kriff-! Cross, I’m getting close-!” You moaned out at a higher pitch, the hand on your breast squeezing a lot more, and the hand that you had up at your mouth made its way down to Crosshair’s head - you couldn’t help it, you needed to touch him, you needed to hold onto him. Your hand pushed him back down towards you, his tongue and fingers moving in harmony and pulling you closer to your release.

Crosshair groaned, sucking more along your clit as his fingers curled against your G-Spot with intense precision. You sucked in a gasp, heat tickling up from your legs all the way up to your neck, the coil in your abdomen tightening a final time before snapping with a loud cry. His fingers began to curl your wetness out of your hole, hungrily lapping up your essence as if he’d been without water for months. Your moans filled his ears, and with the results of your orgasm filling his mouth he then realised how wet his upper thigh felt, groaning at how sensitive his softening cock felt, hips twitching away from any contact.

He kissed and drank away your release, sitting back up on his thighs, both of you panting whilst looking into each other’s eyes. His bionic hand came up to his mouth, licking away the remnants of your pleasure, tasting your sweetness that mixed in with the flavour of metal. “Wow…” you breathed out, your legs spread out beside his knees.

He took in your appearance once more, your dress bunched up around one of your breasts, your bra cup folded to make way for your bare boob. He smiled, his cockiness returning little by little, “Did I make you cum so hard you can’t even think, cyar’ika?” He purred, smiling at the smirk that came to your lips.

“Something like that. Although I could say the same to you,” you teased, winking at the damp spot around his bottoms. With a quick chuckle he leant down, taking your lips in a loving kiss. You felt his tongue stroke over yours, moaning when you could taste your essence before he leant back. “For when you kiss Hunter when he gets back,” he teased, a cocky and proud smirk gracing his features. You whined slightly, feeling a swell of heat rush back to your oversensitive core in tune with your heartbeat, “Crosshair!” You hissed, turning your face away with a blush.

The sniper chuckled, gently knocking your forehead with a knuckle, “C’mon. Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, sliding off the bed before picking you up, “Otherwise Sergeant’ll have my head.” He joked, earning a giggle from you, “Oh, I wonder why?” You replied sarcastically, arms curving around his neck.

“Because I helped myself to dessert before dinner.” He grinned, chuckling at your loud groan, “That was terrible!” He carried you to the fresher, sitting you on top of the sink and grabbing a towel, waiting for the water to heat up slightly before wiping you clean. You smiled at how soft he handled you, how delicately he cleaned you up and fixed your dress back into place, going back into the bedroom to grab you some fresh underwear.

Whilst he changed his trousers and boxers, you noticed the pair of pants you had been wearing before as he not-so-subtly placed them in his pocket, smirking at you as he came between your legs, “What?” He asked innocently, earning a laugh from you and a shake of your head, “Really?” You asked while Crosshair began kissing along the marks he’d left on your neck. This reminded you of the times you would spend together before the Empire - anytime he had his way with you he’d sometimes keep the underwear that he had thrown across the room. Whether it was an in-the-moment trophy or not, you knew it was more so that he had further bragging rights over his squad, especially Hunter.

You knew when everyone would return Hunter would be able to sense what had just happened, and he would constantly be smelling your arousal on Crosshair while he would have to make the dinner, only for matters to be made worse when he’d kiss you and taste the lasting flavour of your orgasm along your tongue. Tech and Echo would be able to piece together what went on between their medic and the sniper from the strands of your hair that would be frizzy and how creased your dress would be, and Wrecker would be able to see the marks scattered along your neck and collarbone, along with the slight puff of your lips.

The boys fighting over you would never get old.

You remembered when Tech surprised not just you, but his brothers as well. They never realised just how… bold he could be. The time shared between you and the genius, whole squad included or not, would regularly include him recording the interactions. He loved being able to look back on the heavily encrypted videos on his datapad with you or when he was alone. He loved being able to see and analyse how your body writhed underneath him, how your breasts would bounce in sync with his thrusts and especially loved replaying the parts of the video where he could see his cock slide in and out of your tight hole.

Where the surprise comes in is when he would turn his comm on, or send snippets of a video to each member of the squad when they least expected it… and it always seemed to happen when you just happened to be alone with him while they would be taking on a mission. No doubt Tech’s planning.

He would have his helmet positioned closest to you so that the squad would be able to hear every moan and whimper that fell from your lips, how you would chant his name or whichever name he wanted you to call out just to make them jealous. It wasn’t just your voice the comm link would pick up, it would also pick up the sounds of Tech’s hips slapping the skin of yours and the bunk slamming against the wall, despite its fastenings.

Whenever the team would return, it would be a sweet tug of war; Tech trying to keep you in his bunk for as long as he could until you’d need to use the ‘fresher, and one of the boys would immediately scoop you up after you’d leave, stealing you away to their bunk instead. Most of the time it was Wrecker who would be the one to carry you away.

Wrecker would be able to get his back, though. He was a literal wall in the way of the Batch trying to steal you away from him. He would be able to have you lying atop of him innocently and not so innocently. If he really wanted to he could have you shaking just from sitting on his thigh. Sometimes after a few rotations away doing missions back to back, you and the boys would go to 79’s to unwind. If you were to land yourself in Wrecker’s lap, chances were you weren’t going to be sitting comfortably. The sweetheart of your squad had a side to him that left you ravenous and letting go of any dignity you tried holding onto.

His hands were most comfortable on your hips whenever you’d straddle him, subtly rocking and tilting them along his massive thigh, the muscles flexing against your core while he’d kiss the back of your ear. Being in 79’s meant you could afford to let out your desperate moans and have them covered by the blasting music, your movements appearing like you were both swaying to the songs.

If you were in a bunk he would help himself to the warmth of your chest, squeezing and caressing your skin all over before moving you into any position he desired. He would spend a lot of time prepping you for his girth, eating you out like a thirsty dog until his cock would throb in pain, desperate to feel you loosen and clench around him - and to hear you scream out his name and carve your nails into his skin.

If Wrecker didn’t want to share, your screams were the things that kept his squad up during the night cycle, all of their cocks painfully tightening beneath their blacks.

Whenever Echo had felt slightly jealous, he would stay behind with you when the squad would leave for another mission. He would tell you that his prosthetics were feeling uncomfortable or he was struggling with his senses feeling slightly off. Being the ever-brilliant medic you were, he felt horrible for telling little white lies to get you to himself, but it was his way of ensuring you both privacy… definitely not because he became a blushing shy mess around you.

The first couple of times he’d asked you to check his prosthetics had you incredibly worried, until you’d realised that majority of these check ups resulted in you on your knees. You’d known Echo when he was an ARC trooper of the 501st, you had tended to his wounds back then and it made you thankful that you could still tend to them now. In any condition he was in, you were happy he was still here for you to hold; and once you managed to get that through to him did his confidence begin to bloom once more.

Especially when he could look into your eyes while he ran his fingers through your hair to push his cock further down your throat. Echo had found that he especially enjoyed having your mouth just before the squad would return and sometimes during his briefings with Rex, seeing your lips swell around his member and your eyes glaze over with lust while he had to remain stoic sent shivers all over him. He loved the look that would wash over your face once he would push pass your gag reflex and empty his load down your throat, the way your tongue would lull out and chase his tip as he pulled away would be enough to get him hard again.

Your thoughts then began to drift to what Crosshair had said to you, how Hunter would be able to taste your nectar along your tongue after having your scent following the sniper with your underwear in his pocket - all just to rile him up. Crosshair would make a show of wearing drastically different clothing after you both would fuck, making sure to dress you in one of his shirts or blacks. The mixture of your sweat and Crosshair’s would be all over you before he’d direct you towards Hunter.

Perhaps Crosshair enjoyed seeing how Hunter could stake his claim on you? How desperate their leader would be to completely dominate your scent with his own after the squad all had their moments with you? Who knew, but the thoughts that followed were of what Hunter would do once piecing it all together.

He knew deep down that his brothers loved to feel like they were all in competition. They knew you loved them unconditionally, but they couldn’t help but want to prove just how much they loved you. Whether it was instinct, or purely playful, you certainly weren’t complaining.

Especially when Hunter would finally get his time to remind his vode just who the hell he was.

Hunter was your brave Sergeant, your handsome lover. But when you and his brothers pushed him too far, he had to remind you all why he was the leader. The moments between you and Hunter, you were his and only his - with his Vode watching or not, he would have you however he’d want. He would bite and kiss heavy marks into your skin, and would sometimes order the boys to watch, to watch you come undone underneath their Sergeant’s handiwork. With Hunter’s incredible stamina and (thanks to you) unearthed desires, you would be in for a long night - you swear the man was an animal. Once, everything he had pent up was released on you in one night into the early hours of the morning.

The thoughts and memories of your boys left your cheeks with a soft hue, your teeth grazing your bottom lip slightly as you smiled down at the marksman, his kisses bringing you back to reality once more.

As much as it was a playful annoyance, when he would keep a trophy of your underwear, Crosshair’s gesture brought you back to the feelings of normality, happy that things were returning and changing in their own ways. You gently brought Crosshair’s jaw up so that you could look at him, his eyebrow quirking up, and you could tell he was now doubting teasing his brothers.

You pulled him closer, gently kissing his lips before your forehead playfully bonked his, “I’m so happy you’re back… that we’re all here…” you hummed. His shoulders relaxed and leant towards you, his arms circling your waist and bringing you closer in a soft embrace. “Me too…”

“Thank you for your apology, ner cyare.” You whispered, you knew it wasn’t necessary to tell him but you thought it was worth him knowing how much you appreciated it. He sighed gently, his head burying into your shoulder, “Thank you… for giving me another chance…”

You held each other like that for a few moments, smiling when you head the door open and the familiar chatter of your squad filled the silence of your home. “Sarad! Crosshair! You two in here?” Wrecker called, hearing the rustle of the bags as you grinned, tapping Crosshair as you shuffled off of the sink, kissing his cheek, “C’mon. Let’s go,” you said softly, your hand coming down to lock your fingers with his. “They’re here, Wrecker.” You heard Hunter answer, making his way to the kitchen.

You emerged from the bedroom with Crosshair in tow, smiling at your boys and Omega taking their shoes off, “You miss us?” You joked, going over to hug Omega once again, squeezing her close to you. “You should’ve seen Wrecker, he started running around looking for you!”She grinned, teasing her big brother. A blush dusted Wrecker’s cheeks before he started spluttering, “W-Well that was before I realised Cross’d disappeared too! I thought you were alone!” You laughed with the two of them, ruffling Omega’s hair, “Awwwh~ So you did miss me!” Swatting away your hand with a whine, Omega huffed with a proud look, “Of course we did, but I knew you were perfectly fine - it was Crosshair I was worried about,” Crosshair scoffed at his little sister, walking to the group and grabbing the bags from the floor, “How touching…”

Tech and Echo observed Crosshair, noticing his change of trousers and the flash of lace in his pocket as he turned towards the kitchen. Tech felt the heat brush up his neck as a sense of jealousy filled his chest, looking over to see the marks over your neck. Echo was the same, raising a brow at the sniper as Crosshair sauntered off, a relaxed expression on his face. After your embrace, Omega followed him to where Hunter had gone into the kitchen, grabbing some other bags along the way.

You went up to Wrecker, your arms squeezing his large frame with a dreamy sigh, “Sorry for disappearing, Wreck. What’d you all grab for dinner?” You grinned, now feeling a wave of hunger flash over you. Wrecker’s eye flicked down to your neck, seeing the newly bruised skin and grinned, kissing your forehead. “I’m guessing Cross won’t need much to eat now, huh?” He joked, and you hadn’t realised his lanky brother had returned to grab more bags, his eyes widening before a blush dusted his ears, not used to Wrecker being the one to successfully tease him.

You laughed alongside Wrecker before going up to Echo and Tech, greeting them both with a soft kiss to their cheeks. Tech’s shoulders relaxed and a small smile came to his face but he tried to hide it as he buried his nose into his datapad, “We grabbed a dinner that will simultaneously be highly nutritious and incredibly beneficial for your pregnancy. And due to Hunter cooking tonight, we will more than likely have plenty of leftovers.”

“Hah! Is that a challenge?!” Wrecker laughed, walking past you three with the rest of the bags towards the kitchen. Echo smiled, shaking his head, “Well, at least we know it’ll be a feast tonight,” he sighed, relieved it wasn’t him, yet again, in charge of your growing family’s meal. Crosshair walked past you three as well, placing a soft kiss on the back of your head before sauntering to your sofa, plopping down and turning on the holofilm. “As long as it isn’t bland,” he huffed.

Tech looked towards his brother, “I find that to be incredibly unlikely, Omega has offered to be the taste tester this time. Also, you will still have traces of our cyare on your tongue, and I believe that would be more than enough to enhance anything you could eat for a while.” The statement left you choking on your saliva at how bold Tech could be when he wanted to, Echo panicking and patting your back with wide eyes at Tech, “Tech, really?!” He scolded, his hand coming up to your flushed cheeks. Crosshair didn’t flinch though, locked in a playful staring contest with his brainy brother, his arm lounging over the back of sofa. “If you’re jealous, Tech, why don’t you have a taste for yourself?” Crosshair teased, eyes glinting in mischief.

You gawked at the sniper, ready to scold him with an obvious blush coating your cheeks before looking over to his brother. Tech’s posture stiffened, his lips pursing in thought, before his eyes met yours, “Perhaps I just might.” Echo couldn’t help but roll his eyes, his arm tightening around your waist, “Or, you could go in and help Wrecker organise the fridge before he stuffs it all in at once.” The ARC trooper said behind clenched teeth, instantly Tech’s eyes widened in surprise, looking towards the kitchen, “You are correct,” he placed his datapad back into the slot on his belt, placing a kiss on your forehead, “Perhaps we shall have to discuss this later.”

Crosshair smirked in victory, turning his attention back to the random holofilm that was on. Echo sighed as he brushed a hair behind your ear, “You had us worried when you disappeared in the market, baar’ur.” He pouted slightly, walking with you towards the kitchen, “Oh, Echo. You know I’d of been alright, I was with Crosshair.” You smiled, giggling at his straight face, “Exactly.” You laughed, holding his hand and placing a kiss on the back of it as you walked.

Another laugh escaped you on your way to say hello to Hunter, seeing Tech pointing to the shelves in the fridge for Wrecker to load, Omega also there to jokingly keep an eye on her massive brother. Echo gave you a gentle kiss to your lips, his hand tapping your lower back gently, “I need to comm Rex, so I’ll be back in a bit, try not to miss me while I’m gone.” He smiled. You pouted slightly, your hands coming up to stroke across his sharp cheek bones, “If you say so, say hi to Rex for me? And that I say hi to the rest of the boys?” You asked with an innocent stare.

The ARC trooper laughed, playfully tapping his forehead against yours, “Of course, Mesh’la.” He called to Hunter about where he was going before walking towards the back door of your home. You slipped into the cooking area, your hands sliding across Tech and Wrecker’s backs affectionately. Reaching Hunter with a smile, your arms circled around the eldest’s waist with a grin as he chuckled, his hand coming to your forearm with a gentle squeeze.

Hunter turned around to look down at you, eyes instantly catching the fresh marks on your neck and your scent finally hit him. He could smell the remnants of your arousal, the sweet aroma had his pupils blowing instantly, eyes flicking once more to see if anyone was looking in your direction. “I see you and Cross didn’t have any trouble coming back home,” he husked.

His thumb came to the bottom of your chin, tilting your head upwards to meet his lips in a hungry exchange. At the back of your throat was a soft hum you knew his ears would be able to pick up on. His tongue danced with yours, his brows furrowing once he could taste the results of your previous orgasm. His hold on your jaw tightened, a chill running up his spine as he desperately tried to lap up any remains of the essence in your mouth before parting for air. “Did you have fun?” He smirked deviously as his tongue seductively licked his lip, his eyes lidded and darker than usual with his pupils taking over the beautiful golden haze.

You ignored the heat pooling between your legs and giggled innocently, a hand coming up to the side of his tattooed face, your thumb tracing his bottom lip, “Maybe~” you grinned. The slam of the fridge door caught the attention of the both of you, hearing the victorious laughs of Wrecker and Omega, followed by the sigh from Tech.

You looked up at your Sergeant, placing a soft kiss to his lips, “Looks like we’ll have to come back to this,” you giggled, his tired expression returning with a slow nod, “I guess so.” His hands traced your hips, pulling you towards him as his lips ghosted your ear, “I can’t let you get away with teasing your Sergeant, little medic.” He growled, nipping at your lobe before spinning you around with a playful swat to your rear, earning a high pitched gasp from you, “Now get out of my kitchen and relax.”

The sun had finally set when you had situated yourself between Wrecker and Tech on the sofa, Omega and Hunter were still preoccupied preparing the final bits of dinner and Echo was still having his briefing with Rex. The moonlight began to dance across the floor in your living room, accentuating the blue hue of the holoshow in front of you all.

Your head leant on Wrecker’s pec, humming now and then from loving the warmth that came from underneath his thin, oversized shirt. With a chuckle, Wrecker’s large and calloused hand came to your shoulder, “Tired, mesh’la?” He asked softly, not wanting to disturb Crosshair and Tech. You looked up at him, smiling softly at his concern, “Just a little bit - but I’ll be fine once it’s chow time.”

The demolitions expert stared down at you with a growing grin, squeezing you closer into his side, “Not surprised! You’re eating and walking around for two, sarad!” He joked, placing a kiss on your forehead as his free arm came to gently trace his knuckles atop your belly.

“The expression, ‘eating for two’, is actually a myth. Your calorie intake will not be divided between yourself and the baby. Although… prepping a meal for Wrecker, the expression seems rather fitting.” Tech interjected, his finger pointing upwards before adjusting his goggles. Wrecker blinked at his brother with a dumbfounded expression, “Really? How’sat work?” He asked, taking no notice of Tech’s joke. Crosshair let out a groan, “Don’t ask Tech questions when this osik is playing on the holo.” He grunted, chin jutting towards the show he apparently started paying attention to. Wrecker laughed at that, interrupting Tech before he could speak. “Hah! Since when did you start paying attention to these shows, Crosshair?”

Tech inhaled once more to give the explanation anyway before Omega skipped into the living room, “Dinner’s ready!” She chirped, running over to the sofa to grab your hand, “Hunter wants (Y/N) to plate her food first, c’mon!” She grinned, tugging your arm up with a laugh. Wrecker grinned, helping you shift off of the cushion, his hands on your waist to stabilise you as you stood, groaning as you straightened your back. “I swear this baby’s getting heavier every day,” you mumbled, Wrecker’s cheeks dusting a soft pink, “Ah, sorry about that, cyar’ika…”

You laughed loudly, hands coming to his cheeks and kissing his adorable pout, “Don’t be silly, Wrecker!” He grinned once more with his lips smooshed between his cheeks, his eyes staring and fluttering up at you with pure love and adoration. Crosshair broke him out of his dreamy haze when he slid next to his larger brother, his face near your knuckles, “Got another one of those kisses for me?” The sniper asked slyly, staring up at you with his signature grin. You smiled, your hand about to cradle his jaw before his face was engulfed by Wrecker’s much larger one, “Back off, Cross! You’ve had plenty!”

Tech stood next to Omega now, his fingers delicately coming to your palm, his little sister trying to contain her laughter as she came to hold your other hand, “Can I get a kiss, (Y/N)? Echo said that I’m getting better with my energy crossbow,” she bargained with a triumphant huff, her free hand coming towards her hip. You chuckled at her playful nature, leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead. “That’s brilliant! You’ll have to show me later! And who knows Omega? You might even beat my accuracy score.” You challenged her, giving her a playful nudge while pulling the young girl and Tech towards the kitchen as she laughed with confidence, “Oh, it is on!”

Behind the three of you, Wrecker had Crosshair in a playful headlock, shouting about how he needs to give the rest of the squad their time to spend with you today with hisses from the sniper. You walked through the doorframe, gawking at how much food Hunter had managed to prepare, the scents making your mouth water instantly. Tech looked impressed, having to adjust his goggles to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. “The amount of food you have prepared has exceeded any of my previous expectations. Well done, Hunter.” Tech congratulated, his hand on your lower back as you made your way towards your Sergeant.

You circled your arms around his neck, bringing him down for a sweet kiss, “Thank you for making dinner, Hunter - it looks fantastic!” His expression softened as his hands came to your hips, “Well, someone’s gotta make sure you’re eating good - all of you.” He hummed, distracted with staring into your beautiful glowing eyes.

You’d grabbed your plate, waiting for Omega to grab hers as you followed her to the table, sitting next to her in the middle of the modified dining table. When you announced your pregnancy, Wrecker had been sneaking off with the locals with tools and lumber, and within a few weeks he returned with a wonderfully long and expertly crafted dining surface. You remember Wrecker’s sweet blush when he gifted it to the squad, “I just thought that… what with our cyar’ika… a-and our, uhm, growing family… we might need a bigger table… so I asked Shep and the others for a hand…”

Hunter had a soft smile on his features at the interaction before his nose twitched, eyes flicking over to Crosshair with a focused stare. Crosshair had begun to eat his meal, smirking to himself once he noticed his Sergeant go stiff.

Once Echo had taken his seat, you all had began conversing at alternating volumes, giving Crosshair his chance to mutter under his breath, knowing Hunter’s enhanced ears would be able to pick it up. “Something the matter, Sergeant?”

Hunter’s eyes studied Crosshair in detail now, noticing what the other’s had earlier on when he wasn’t in the room, except they didn’t have to endure the heavenly scent of your arousal, especially when it was coming from his brother’s pocket. His eyes caught the lace trim, pupils blowing up once more with clenched fists, painfully swallowing down his food and attempting to appear neutral. “You tell me, Crosshair.”

He knew his vod was trying to rile him up like he always does, but he couldn’t help the painful strain that formed beneath his trousers. The sniper turned to him with a vexing grin, “Cyar‘ika and I were just reminiscing on the old days, you should’ve seen it.” He goaded, “I don’t remember her ever sounding like that… it really was a spectacle, vod. She tasted delicious. Almost as good as the dinner, Hunter.”

Hunter should’ve scoffed at the compliment but his head was completely fogging up against his better judgement. He could usually snap out of it and remain strict with himself, but in the recent months of seeing you with your swollen breasts and growing belly, there’s very little he could do to keep himself in check. Your slight hobble whenever you’d get out of bed, the way your body curved always had him looking away, knowing that anytime his eyes landed on you it was a battle against his instincts. The one thing he couldn’t avoid was your scent. It was sweeter than before, and with you remaining indoors a lot more than them, the whole house held your aroma - you smelt like home.

With having his squad here, sat around a table and having dinner, you carrying a babe, like a family should - it was too much to bear for his heart. But with Crosshair provoking him every time he had you alone, his mind could only go places he wished he could control.

Perhaps he’ll just have to jog yours and his brother’s memory about how he could truly put his skills to good use…

A/N: oh my god this was a lot longer than what I was thinking. Sorry if anything felt a bit too long, but I hope you enjoyed! 🫶🥰