#one day you’ll look back on a period of animosity and be like ‘…I’d forgotten about that. that was you???’

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

beginning to think I like fictional relationships to start off wildly contentious because then the characters know each other’s flaws right off the bat and don’t have to undergo the painful process of learning your beloved (platonic or otherwise) is sometimes quite unpleasant, and that the process goes both ways.

.

.

.

nah. it’s the catharsis of a temporary fight.

[locke-writes]

Black Heart

Author: locke-writes

Title: Black Heart

Request: House is, well he’s House. He’s always right and never really wrong. Except for when he let you go. You’ve not seen him for years. When you’re checked in to the hospital House won’t stop until he figures out what’s wrong and he won’t stop until he can convince you of giving him a second chance. For: @onlyanevilangel

Rating: T

Word Count: 2229

Warning: Hospitals, Medical Tests

As House sat next to you in the hospital waiting for you to be discharged he thought back to how it had come to this point. Luck was not necessarily something House had a lot of. People said he was lucky when he came up with a diagnosis for something that had nearly killed a person but that wasn't luck that was simply being a doctor. After every mistake he had made in his life he had determined that his luck must have run out when he was only a child. But then you came walking, or rather fainting, back into his life and he thought that maybe luck hadn't run out, just that maybe luck was waiting for something big.

The two of you had met when you both were fresh out of medical school and working at a clinic. It wasn't the fancy hospital either of you had dreamed of going to but it was a place to practice medicine and really that was all that mattered. House never particularly liked the job, most of the time showing that animosity to the patients themselves while you were grateful for any experience and strived to show kindness to all patients who entered the clinic although you did have your fair share of rude ones.

He never could pinpoint the moment that he fell in love with you. Reflecting on it he thought that might be because as soon as he realized that it was love he dropped everything and left. The two of you had started out friends who would occasionally go out for drinks when not on call or having to appear for a shift the next day. House could tolerate you and you understood House's personality which was something that no one could say they full understood. Not even now would anyone say that. 

You gave him six months of his life and in turn he left you. You loved him and he loved you, the words never spoken but felt entirely. 

Six months was all that you had together and it was all you believed you would ever have together until fifteen years later you'd meet again. Or rather until fifteen years later you were forced to meet again.

Every single day you were around illness, it was not something you'd ever thought much about. Eventually you would become ill, it had to happen at one point. Yet the symptoms pointed to absolutely nothing that you had ever come across. Doctors that you had been referred to had claimed nothing was wrong, fatigue and naseau were possible symptoms for a variety of things including a regular stomach virus. Yet despite what everyone seemed to say you knew something was wrong.

The only thing you knew when you entered PPTH that morning was that you had an appointment with a gastroenterologist. While you believed that it was something other than a stomach virus there was no one else that you could think to see. If a stomach virus was the common consensus then a stomach virus you hoped it would be. However that appointment would never come. You supposed that was what you got for passing out in the middle of a hospital lobby. 

When you awoke you were laying in a hospital bed hooked up to multiple machines. You shut your eyes as quickly as you had opened them once the bright lights nearly blinded you. Staying like that for a moment you only opened them again when you registered who had been looking over your charts.

"Took you long enough"

"I want another doctor. I didn't want to find you, I never found you. You need to go and get anyone else I don't care who, just as long as they aren't you."

"Look I know I'm an asshole…"

You interrupted, "Not just an asshole. THE Asshole"

"If you want to know why you fainted today then you'll let me take your case."

"Anyone but you. There's someone else here that can answer the mystery question and it isn't going to be you or anyone involved with you. I've spent fifteen years of my life without you and I'll spend the rest without you too."

"There might not be more years if you don't let me take this case."

"Greg, I just got up and now I have to see you. I feel like shit but this, talking to you is pure torture. You want this case you can take this case but I want someone else here whenever you are. I'm not rehashing the past. Find someone to stick around and deal with this shit again, or leave again, your choice."

House knew you had your reasons not to trust him, all very valid ones at that, yet he couldn't help but feel hurt by the fact that you'd rather someone else take his case. All he wanted was for you to be out of this hospital and on your way again. He only wanted you to be healthy again and while it would be nice for you to know he knew you would refuse to listen to the fact that he still loved you. Wilson had never been informed of you and Wilson was the only person he could trust to keep the past a secret.

As he slipped out the door you leaned back in the bed and closed your eyes. Part of this was your fault in a way. You hadn't checked the full faculty list only the doctor that you were supposed to see. There were plenty of other gastroenterologists in other hospitals, just because this one had a few awards and was named best in the state didn't mean you had to see this particular doctor. It just meant that you'd definitely see this one because you could.

But of course the one person in your life that you never wanted to see again, there he was. You'd given him six months of your life, found yourself in love with him and him with you, then he up and left. He'd taken what he'd left at your apartment, slipped out in the middle of the night, had quietly quit the clinic job, and then disappeared without a word. You tried calling him for a period of time but all the calls were ignored and eventually you gave up. Fifteen years later your face to face with the one person you have the most regrets about dating without the ability to leave.

He was still the same Greg you had fallen for back then. Older, of course, but still the same tall, handsome, stubborn, know-it-all, that had charmed you back then. You had fallen for him quick and you had fallen for him hard. 

You began contemplating what the hell you were going to try and do to keep feelings from returning.

Wilson was the only doctor in the entire hospital that he could trust to keep this secret if it slipped out. House refused to tell the real reason and left it simply at the fact that he pissed off another patient. It happened often enough that it was the most believable of excuses. 

"So what have you been diagnosed with before coming here?"

"A stomach virus. You aren't even going to introduce me, Greg?"

He pointed to the man sitting in the corner, "This is Wilson. He agreed to be here because he has nothing better to do. Those other doctors are idiots."

"Obviously. If I believed what they had said then I wouldn't be here." You turned away from him, "Hello Wilson, pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise. I apologize on his behalf"

"Never apologize on my behalf. You don't know what you're apologizing for. What tests did they run?"

"Nothing. When the symptoms include fatigue and nausea they don't tend to look any further. Wilson, I take it you have no idea why I actually asked for someone else to be here because you most certainly wouldn't be apologizing."

"I assumed he had pissed you off. He does that often. I assume now that by you're using his first name you know one another?"

"You want to tell him Greg or should I?"

"Keep it a secret. I'm going to schedule you for a CT scan, we'll be able to tell if there's an actual issue causing you to pass out connected with your stomach."

 "That just means he doesn't want you to think he's a bigger asshole than you already do. 15 years ago we dated, were in love, and then after six months he disappeared."

"House doesn't strike me as the in love type of person but now I'm understanding why I'm here."

"I feel insulted here" House interjected.

"You should." You replied.

"You're always a jerk but I think that sort of tops it all" Wilson chimed in.

"It just seems like you think I stopped loving you which is why I left. I don't think you've even considered the truth which is that I still love you and regret what I did every single day."

Before you had the chance to speak he walked out of the room and after a minute of silence so did Wilson. You were left alone to process what had been revealed. You'd never forgotten him in all your time apart and apparently neither had he. 

You'd been taken by another doctor to the CT scan. After his confession you figured he'd want to stay away for a bit. He'd come back to the room to go over the results and maybe you could talk to him then. He needed to know that you kinda still loved him too. That you may have never stopped being in love with him or at least those feelings had lain dormant for a period of time until there he was, suddenly before you once more being the same self you'd known all those years ago.

He came in with Wilson and discussed the results. Cirrhosis of the liver but not just cirrhosis but an enlargement of it. There were varying reasons for cirrhosis but not for enlargement and a blood panel along with an MRI were scheduled for later. House of course already had an idea of what it was yet wouldn't tell you until the tests confirmed. You stopped him from leaving your room but sent Wilson on his way.

"You love me?"

"Honestly how could I not."

"The fact that you left kinda said otherwise."

"You want the truth?"

"Why would I want the lie?"

"I was afraid of fucking it up. I was afraid that I was in love with you. I was afraid that me taking this job would have driven us apart which was why I didn't tell you I had quit. I'd ask for a second chance but I'm sure that I don't deserve one, I think you'd agree with that statement"

"If I wasn't still in love with you then I would but it's hard to say second chances aren't deserved when you're in love with a person"

He stared at you for a moment, "You love me? After everything?"

You shrugged, "I thought I wasn't. I thought I'd gotten over you, fifteen years is long enough to forget a person but sometimes, and apparently this is one of those times, feelings just come rushing back as though they had always been there"

"So. You forgive me? And you don't care about this?" He questioned lifting the cane.

"I think it's going to take time, and probably a lot of it, for you to be forgiven. But eventually you probably will be. As for the cane, I have questions about how and why but no I'm not at all bothered by it"

"Well then. Once we get this diagnosis confirmed then, dinner maybe?"

"Yeah fine, Dinner."

One in a million that's what you were. Of course you would have some completely rare illness. Of course. It could never be something simple like a virus, it had to be malformation of arteries causing a blockage around your liver. One in a million. 

Budd-Chiari syndrome. It was rare and it wasn't deadly but it also wasn't necessarily curable. House had another doctor set up a prescription for you, he didn't want it to look like he was writing you unnecessary prescriptions and potentially have his license questioned because he was in a romantic relationship with you. Or was about to potentially enter a romantic relationship with you, depending on how the first date went. You had also been put on the transplant list, your liver was functional but it could continue scarring until it failed and then when the liver failed so would the spleen.

House was worried, both about screwing up again but also about your diagnosis even if he was the one who had given it. But he pushed worry out of his mind and focused on where he was and who he was with. Waiting for a nurse to bring the discharge paperwork he had taken your hand in his, running his thumb across your palm. Relationships never seemed to stay hidden for long at PPTH and if he was being completely honest he didn't want this one to.

Second chances were always somewhat of a myth for Gregory House. He was glad they weren't a myth for you.