#one day you have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

oatmealwrites · 2 months ago

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Catch Kira, NOT Feelings! Ch. 7

Ch. 6 | Ch. 8

Series masterlist here | regular masterlist here

Synopsis: You decide to take the day off to reflect on your mixed emotions while Light take the opportunity to do a big of digging on your history. Tired with your obvious attempts at avoiding him, Ryuzaki also takes matters into his own hands.

Tags: Light is a rat, slight insecurity mentions, Light POV, ex boyfriend appearance, mentions of PMS, L is a little creepy LMAO, references to makeout and steamy previous activities, suggestive ending, french kiss, dry humping, mentions of erections, hickies, jealously, slightly angst if you squint, MDNI, 18+

word count: 10.4k

a/n at the end!

~~~~~~~

The storm from the previous night has died into a steady rain that pats against the glass panes of your bedroom window and a steady breeze creates a swirl of leaves in the air. Rolling to the other side of your bed, you tug the warm comforter up to your chin and sigh, silently cursing your inability to fall back asleep.

Your alarm clock next to the bed reads 7:13am and despite your first scheduled class not until 10, your body seems unable to relax again. Though the time of your lecture doesn’t matter much, you’ve already decided to skip and take the day off from…everything.

When you first woke up unexpectedly, you contemplated the decision for a few moments before texting a friend in the class that you would not be in attendance. Usually you wouldn’t skip a seminar, but it's the first week of the ‘summer’ campus [despite it technically being spring] and that means it’s nothing but syllabus reviews.

Thick rain clouds make the morning hours seem like night, and with every light in your small one-bedroom apartment being off, your body seems wired to stay awake against your will. Maybe it’s the long hours of being on the task force, the week of examinations and finals you’ve just finished before beginning another period of classes, or maybe it’s the fact your emotions seem to be on the fray.

You still promised to meet with Light before the meeting, though you’re unsure if you have the motivation to even show your face to the rest of the group given everything from last night. Ugh. and you kissed him– like… kissed him-kissed him.

“Aughfp–”

You groan and roll over into the pillow, letting out a slew of incoherent curses as the second hand embarrassment of the moment lingers. WHY did you kiss him? And then on his lap– you tug a hand into your hair and thrash a bit more as a mixture of mortification and self resentment leave you wanting nothing more than to suffocate into the soft cushion of feathers beneath your mouth.

Dying by self-asphyxiation from your own ick would be a death not even Kira could conjure up as your untimely demise. A small dull ache in your lower abdomen pulls your thoughts back to your present state and you roll back over onto your back and stare at the ceiling.

He’s just a guy… nothing more and nothing less. You’ve been without any action for a while now, so that’s the reason you’re acting like this… yea…

You sigh a little, slightly relieved as you attempt to rationalize the behavior, until the reminder that he’s very much your boss and also fake dating you for the grand scheme of stopping a serial killer creates another wave of agitation.

God, of all the people you had to have the pleasure doing this stupid situationship with, it just had to be him. Ryuzaki may be completely inexperienced in everything for all you know, and on top of that, he didn’t let you go to Aoyama, got in argument with you over it, had Matsuda then Mogi take over trailing Light, and then didn’t even tell you about Mogi’s findings until AFTER something happened. He’s never been 100% honest with anyone, including you, so if someone were to ask if you would still kiss him again… why in your right mind is your gut answer yes?!

“Maybe Kira has already decided on my death and is making me the most irrational and unlucky person in the universe before I die…” You mumble and turn back over to snuggle into the comforter again.

You’ve asked the universe for too much– wasting all your wishes on stupid exams and concert tickets instead of wishing to meet just one guy in your life who isn’t emotionally constipated. Though realistically speaking, shouldn’t Ryuzaki be feeling the same way as you right now?

Even if the whole relationship was purely platonic and for the good nature of protecting you from the Second Kira, there’s no way he would’ve wanted to go that far behind closed doors if it didn’t mean something more. Kissing him with your hands in his hair, grinding your hips on his erection, sturdy hands on your belt loops keeping you in place… the memory of it makes your cheeks flush.

Though there’s also the second option, that he’s enjoying this weird charade you two are playing because of physical relief. The entire task force is men and the last female agent L worked with got engaged and then was subsequently killed by Kira, so it’s not like the odds are in your favor that he’s looking for something that can last.

Tumbling back over and whining into the pillow, you silently wonder if you should’ve just changed life trajectories and lived a more mundane life. You could’ve moved to the countryside, become a post office worker, and spent your days exploring nature… instead you’re a full time student and employee with a group of men, working insane hours, your friend might be a serial killer who is convinced they’re on par with God, and your most recent physical encounter was with an emo man who is pretending(?) to date you.

This really is the worst, huh?

Before you can attempt to bury your face into the pillow once more, a ping from your phone on the nightstand pulls your attention and you crinkle your nose at the interruption of your existential crisis. You reach over and grab your normal cell phone and tug it back into your cocoon of self pity and fuzzy blankets.

From: Light Yagami

Hey! Are we still on for the meeting review at 1? There’s a coffee shop I’m sending now that has lunch sets too.

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You read the message over a few times and look up the address before sending a basic approval text and tossing the phone somewhere between the layers of fabric on your bed. Technically speaking, if you commit to this ‘day off’ and call out of the evening meeting for a mental health day, then you really should take the time to try and relax.

There’s a long list of things you’ve been meaning to get done anyways, the new art exhibit across town, get hot tea at a local coffee shop and read your book next to the window, or even try your hand at knitting; the list is so long that trying to relax seems to make you even more anxious.

After a few more moments of self-pity, you peel the comforter from your body and sluggishly decide to get up and move. Knees cracking at the movement and slight shivers from the change in temperature, you pad into the bathroom to take a quick shower and attempt to reign yourself in.

Hot water and steam relax your muscles, and after completing your usual skincare routine and getting dressed into a casual jeans and t-shirt, you notice the missing university crewneck in your closet.

Must’ve left it at the hotel…

Whatever, you can get it tomorrow– you’re 98% convinced that you will simply be skipping the meeting tonight anyways. Sliding on an old hoodie instead, you finally begin to flick on the lights of your apartment and make your way to the kitchen to start some hot water.

Even if you can’t relax, you should at least get something done today. You make a small mug of instant coffee and slide into one of the two seats at your small kitchen table before opening the lid of your laptop and searching for Misa’s social media page once again.

At first glance all of the posts are relatively normal; flyers for upcoming movies, magazine photo shoots, and cute outfit inspiration given her gothic fashion taste. Pursing your lips and filtering through a bit more, you double take at the photos of cafe desserts and beverages.

Scanning through the images, you do a quick timeline comparison and notice that for a majority of the new posts of food items, there are two spoons and forks on the plate. One is obviously hers, but the other setting was placed by the wait staff for her company despite the lack of usage in most of the images.

Clicking through a few more, you notice it’s the same with shared drinks like milkshakes– one straw bent with a lipstick stain, and the other completely untouched. These details are only noticeable for the past few weeks as well…

Biting your lip, you reach for your mug of coffee and blow the steam away before taking a long sip to fully digest the information. It’s not concrete proof of anything, and with no image of her company, you can’t be certain it’s Light– but the discovery is enough to raise an eyebrow.

Putting the mug back on the table, you grasp your actual cell phone and haphazardly scroll through the contacts list while continuing to glance at the laptop screen. Realistically, you should've checked twice before typing out the message, but with indescribable brain fog you don’t notice the romanized alphabet placing ‘L’ and ‘Light’ side by side in your contacts list.

You’ve never even texted L on this phone, but it made sense to have his contact available just in case you happened to misplace the one he gave you upon meeting him for the first time a few months back.

Still paying half-attention, you send ‘I need to see you’ without ever confirming the recipient.

Light POV

“Oooo! And there’s a new boutique that just opened up across the street! Let’s go there after our dinner date?” Misa wonders while laying flat on Light’s bed and kicking her feet upwards behind her in a swinging motion.

Ryuk chuckles and peers over at the magazine splayed in front of her while Rem idly stands in the doorway with a scowl plastered as she watches Light at his desk. Eyebrow twitching from the lack of concentration, the young man swivels in his chair ready to speak when she interrupts him once more.

“And there’s a pop up stall by your university! I can visit you on camp–”

“–No.”

Misa looks up from her spot in the magazine, Ryuk’s interest on a dessert page showing an apple pie recipe, before she blinks in surprise. Rem watches the interaction but says nothing.

Bringing a hand through his hair, Light sighs and pivots halfway to face his desk once more. “My family is going to be suspicious if you keep lingering here, and it’s only a matter of time before my father and the task force find out about you. Going to campus only makes it more questionable if L or y/n see you.”

She scowls and sits upright, abandoning the magazine and crossing her arms in a sulking manner. “But you promised to take me out this week.”

“Later, Misa. Maybe this weekend there’s a cafe we stop at for a brief snack–”

“–Yay!” she interrupts and hops up in excitement.

Technically Light also promised you that he would make up for your brief meeting later this afternoon with an outing of some sort– though he’s sure he can think of something to cover his bases later.

Misa saunters over to his chair and grabs onto the back of it with enthusiasm as she eagerly looks at what seems to be taking all of his attention. Pushing her back slightly, Light returns his position to a list of names on a blank piece of paper, tapping his pencil to it.

“It’ll be short though– I have to focus on building a better world as Kira, not wasting time on tedious things as your boyfriend.”

Despite the sharp tone and lack of genuine emotion, Misa hums with a smile at the ‘B’ word and nuzzles her head against the back of his; a different ‘b’ word drifts into Light’s mind. She’s enthusiastic despite the early hour– his desk clock reading 7:42am and her arrival to his house was only 30 minutes beforehand.

He keeps his gaze on the paper, the same list of names as your exes, though this time with available home addresses he could easily find online without so much searching it would raise an eyebrow. Mentally calculating the commute time and remembering if he needed to take any transfer metros, Light stands up and begins to passively collect his belongings as indication that it was time for Misa to leave.

The young woman huffs but stands to the side and allows him to pack his school satchel until a slight ping emits from his cellphone on the corner of his desk. If his arm wasn’t halfway inside his backpack, he would’ve reached the device before Misa sweeped it off the furniture and clicked it open to see the ID.

She reads the message once before Light can take a grab for it, pushing it in his face when she disapproves of the content. “‘I need to see you’? Who is this girl– and doesn’t she know you’re in a relationship?!”

Light blinks to adjust to the proximity before taking the phone and slightly relaxing that it was you messaging him and not Takada– a harder figure for him to talk his way out of seeing. Though this message was definitely strange…had he not already told you about the plans for coffee today?

Deciding to decipher it without the additional company, he pockets the phone and slings his bag across his chest. “It’s my work colleague–”

“y/n.” Misa interrupts with a frown. “Why is she sending you things like this…?”

Light doesn’t turn around and moves to pat down his pockets for his keys and student ID. “It’s probably something related to the Kira case… maybe a breakthrough.”

“All the more reason for me to kill her.”

He spins around at the suggestion and narrows his eyes as he sees the red tinge of Misa’s irises glow steadily with an agitated expression. “No.”

“Huh? But she’s in the way.” she complains back, standing with her arms pointing in fists straight at the ground in stubbornness.

“She’s borderline family to my father and her current… ‘relationship’ complicates things. Simply put, don’t kill her.”

Misa turns with a huff at his answer and pivots towards his Shinigami instead. “Ryuk! You’ve seen her, is she pretty?”

It’s a loaded question, both him and Light know it, so Ryuk simply cackles with a gentle shrug and floats over to the young man’s side, ready to head out for the day. “I’m not trying to get involved with you lovebirds hehehe.”

Misa commits the text to memory and silently works out in her own way to deal with this situation even if her boyfriend seems unamused by any methods of intervention. Your name is effectively sealed in her mind.

Before she can protest again, Light heads down the stairs and ushers her out the front door before calling a quick ‘goodbye’ to his mother who brews coffee in the kitchen groggily. As soon as the door shuts, he heads for the commute to the transit line and distances himself from her.

“I’ll call you before my meeting if things go well, ok?”

“Oh! Yes, please!! Can’t wait for it~” she giggles before spinning in the opposite direction to chat with Rem as the pair split for the day.

*****

[still light pov]

The commute to Kawasaki Station was easier than he had anticipated, though the morning rush made it a bit tighter than he would’ve preferred. It’s on the same line as To Oh Uni, so it realistically shouldn’t take too long to get back to campus in time for class; though the train ride had provided Light with enough time to ponder your message.

At first glance it seems desperately urgent, but the lack of a follow up phone call or text indicates it’s either not dire or sent to the wrong person. Realistically, it could be you sending a request to see him before lunch– but then why hadn’t you just asked to simply change the time? That left the second option: that you had meant to send it to someone else.

Walking out of the station and glancing down at his paper scribbled directions, Light knows the only one most likely for it to be directed to was L. If the contact for your ‘boyfriend�� had no change in the nickname or emoticons, it would most likely appear next to his name in your phone, a detail not missed by the young man sauntering down the street.

And if that was the case, and you did have an urgent message for L, something big must be about to happen; a calm before the storm. Light doesn’t respond just in case you send anything else his way by mistake that could be useful; if you asked him about it later he would simply state he wasn’t on his phone or had believed you were confused about the coffee plans.

There isn’t too much time to dwell on it though, slowly stopping when the apartment complex comes into view. Keeping the note in his hand, Light ignores the way Ryuk seems to eye the other people in the lobby and heads for the elevator before walking to the correct door he found online.

Pocketing the paper once the destination is verified, Light reaches forward to ring the intercom and gives a slight step backwards for space. There’s a brief pause as the homeowner clicks on the microphone but resigns to opening the door when static is the only that emits from the faulty speaker.

It’s a man in his late 20s, hair disheveled still from sleep, dressed in casual loungewear who opens the door, exactly the man Light was looking for. He stands tall with decent muscle mass and rubs his eyes a few times to rub the drowsiness away; his voice is a few octaves deeper from recently waking up.

“Ummm, can I help you?”

“Hi, my name is Light Yagami. I’m a student at To-Oh University.” Light does a polite bow and then exchanges his hand for the man to shake, but it hangs unreciprocated in the air.

An eyebrow raised, the apartment owner leans against the door frame in confusion and boredom. “Ok? And why are you here? Do I know you or something?”

“Sort of– I’m actually a friend of y/n’s. You’re Ken right?”

This gets his attention, the man, presumably Ken, straightens up and uncrosses his arms slightly; Light pulls his hand back to his side and looks intently into his eyes. “I want to speak with you about her.”

“Uhh…” Ken tilts his head and looks at the hallway to see if anyone is around and resettles his attention to the man at his front door so early in the morning, “Listen man, I’m not really in the mood to spend my morning talking about my ex…”

As Ken takes a step back in an attempt to shut the door and end the conversation, Light reaches forward to keep the metal open. “Wait!” there’s a brief pause from the outburst. “I’m in love with her and want to make sure you’re not going to get in my way.”

“Hahahaha–pft HAHAHAHA” Ryuk bellows from beside the man, happily entertained and clutching his stomach from the current show before him. “Say Light, you should consider giving up the whole ‘becoming a God plan’ and think about pursuing acting instead hehehe”

Light ignores the distraction as Ken furrows his brows and steps forward defensively, “What? She dumped me. I’m not trying to get in anyone’s way or whatever.”

The information is new and enough to spark further interest. “Really? If you don’t mind me asking… what happened?”

“Well I do mind you asking.” Ken rolls his eyes but tugs a sheepish hand through his hair. “Look, to make a long story short, I thought what we had was good, but she obviously didn’t see it that way. She was more dedicated to her work and thought I was moving too fast– we got in a slight argument and she called it quits. That’s it.”

It’s obvious that there’s definitely a lot more to this story, but it confirms Light’s initial theory that you were in no place seeking a relationship given your time commitments to school and work already. Ken is allegedly, from his memory, your most recent ex– meaning that if you broke off your last relationship to focus on your career… why would you suddenly hop into a new one?

“I see. To be fair that makes sense... I’ve been trying to find a time to confess, but she’s always so busy.”

Ken scoffs and rolls his eyes once more; he stands lighter but still isolating to the unwanted company. “Yea, well when she finds the time to hear you out, let me know.” He looks up at Light and shrugs. “Is that all? Can’t say I’m upset to hear she’s available, but it’s hard to listen to another trying to throw his hat in the ring.”

Light adjusts the strap on his shoulder, mentally checked out of the conversation but entertaining it for the sake of keeping face as a simple honor roll university student. “Hm? You mean after all that, you’d still want her back?”

Ken shrugs and moves to shut the door for good this time, “Yea I mean… you’re in love with her right? You get it I’m sure.”

The door clicks shut and Ryuk howls with laughter as Light ponders in complete stillness for a few extra moments before turning away and heading for the elevators once more. Everything lined up with his theory, that you were not in the market for a relationship, but each piece of information seemed to make him more and more curious.

Why would you even agree to this staged relationship in the first place? Would you attempt to end it before Light could unveil the truth behind it? What was in it for you besides protection?-- humiliation and embarrassment were evident at every task meeting given by how Matsuda and Aizawa seem to act.

In all this time contemplating the motives behind why you would be in this with L, Ryuk giggled above him wondering why it mattered so much to Light in the first place.

Your POV

The meeting with Light is relatively simple and smooth given the atmosphere. Anyone else in the coffee shop presumed you were simply two students reviewing notes, not passing manilla folders containing confidential evidence on the current most wanted killer in the world.

You both sit at a the bar infront of the window, sipping on your beverages and watching the people outside pass in the rain as the conversation is filled with brief mentions of the Second Kira tapes and new suicide notes from prisoners. Anything regarding Misa is omitted, and Light passively accepts your explanations without too much rebuttal on your deductions; the whole moment is relatively normal.

There’s a slight headache humming behind your eye and shivering slightly, Light looks up from the documents. “Not feeling well?”

“Mmm sorta. It’s fine though.”

You look back down at the photograph printed and take your pen to circle the state of the body while your companion sighs from beside you; taking the pen from your fingers and placing it on the table, he nudges you slightly. “You skipped class today too, why don’t you just sit this one out?”

“It’s like you can read my thoughts.”

Light chuckles but keeps his gaze on you before casually glancing back down at the photograph between you both. Normally you both wouldn’t be discussing such topics in public, but with the small cafe nearly empty and the sound of gentle rain and cars passing filling the air, the moment is private enough to discuss such sensitive material.

You tugs a hand through your hair and run it down until your fingers toy with the strings of your hoodie, tugging them so the length evens out. “To be honest… I really might stay home today. Is that bad?” You mumble, fatigue evident in your bones.

He shrugs and picks up another document, turning it over to see if there is anything useful on the pack page and slipping into a manilla folder. “Not really. If you can’t think clearly, then it’s best to just recover until you can. No point in pushing yourself if your mind isn’t in the best position to work effectively anyways.”

You purse your lips at the casualness of the answer, but relax slightly at his confirmation. Normally, Light would be the one to play the devil’s advocate and push back, claiming that every moment not spent fighting for justice was going to waste– but in this situation it’s like he knew exactly what you needed to hear. You didn’t propose staying home in the hopes he would talk you out of it, you just wanted someone to confirm your own thoughts and not disagree.

He keeps the last page of an evidence file out and rests his chin in the palm of his hand. “As long as you’re still up for this weekend though; I want to make sure you know I can make good on my promises.”

“Seriously, you don’t have to take me out anywhere just for helping you review. To be honest, I doubt you even needed me to run through this considering how fast you think anyways.”

Light chuckles again and looks down at his watch before sliding off the stool and shuffling the folders into his satchel as you down the rest of your drink to head out as well. He slings the strap over his chest and adjusts his jacket slightly while waiting for you to return the drinkware back to the employee at the counter.

You both step out into the rain and open your separate umbrellas. “Listen, Light…could you tell them I’m not feeling well? It’s not a complete lie… I just–”

“–Of course. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna say you’re playing hooky considering you really do seem a bit unwell.”

You pause and smile slightly. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Anytime. I just hope there’s no trouble in paradise, as the real reason you aren’t coming.”

“Huh?!”

Of course, right when Light shows signs of being a gentleman and decent friend, he has to act like an ass and find little ways to torment you. Face flush and grasp on the umbrella turning your knuckles white, you wave your hands in front of him and stutter on your words.

“W-Wait, no! That’s not it..I just…” you can’t seem to find a coherent phrase to explain yourself.

Light laughs at your outburst and shakes his head. “Ok, ok I’m joking– but your expression was hilarious.” He turns around and waves his hand up in a casual manner over his shoulder. “I won’t tell Ryuzaki anything, I promise.”

Furrowing your brows slightly, you watch the man walk away towards the campus as you stand with the soft pats of rain hitting your umbrella.

***

The rest of the day goes by with a steady cycle of you trying to do more work on the case with the files you have at home, making snacks, attempting to take a nap, and then dissociating while watching people walk along the rainy streets through your window. It’s an upsetting and lethargic loop that only breaks when you notice the time is half-past 8 and your second cell phone shrieks to life from its spot on the kitchen counter.

Shuffling off your perched spot by the windowsill, you reach for the phone and raise an eyebrow at the unexpected incoming call.

“Ryuzaki? Aren’t you… at the meeting right now?”

“I could be asking you why you aren’t, but I heard through Light that you weren’t feeling well.”

‘Light’ is said with an obviously cool tone that it makes your back shiver slightly and mentally be grateful that if you’re about to be chewed out for dodging work, you can experience it in the comfort of your own home.

“Yea that’s right. I woke up not feeling well is all– but I should be back for tomorrow’s meeting.”

There’s a brief pause and what sounds like Matsuda exclaiming how the vending machine ‘dropped two bags of chips even though he only pressed for one’ can be heard reverberating through the receiver. The shuffling of feet and then the click of a door bring a better silence to his side of the conversation.

Ryuzaki’s silent for another moment. “You didn’t reach out today…Did something happen?”

The voice is soft and gentle, surprising you slightly and causing you to sit upright from your spot in a kitchen chair. Hadn’t you sent a message earlier?

“Wait a moment…” You rise and prop the phone between your cheek and shoulder while digging through your bag and pulling out your actual cell phone; flipping through the messages you realize the message you thought was sent to L was never actually written in the first place.

“That’s weird, I thought I texted you earlier…” you mumble before shrugging and tossing the device back into your bag.

“I never received anything… but what did you mean to send?”

Standing upright and moving to make another mug of coffee, you recall what you had seen on Misa’s social media. “Do you think you can pull Light’s bank statements? I know it’s a bit invasive, but there’s something I want to cross reference.”

There’s the sound of tapping on a keyboard before he speaks again. “Yes that’s fine, I’ve just sent Watari the instructions– but there is something I want to ask you before this break in the meeting ends.”

You set the mug on the counter and slide the sugar jar closer to you before opening a drawer in search of a spoon. “Ok, shoot.”

“Do you know anyone who lives by Kawasaki Station?”

…

The spoon clinks against the ceramic jar and the feeling of being watched makes your skin bump with uncomfortableness. Releasing the grasp on the utensil, you clench your phone to your ear and walk over to the door to ensure the deadbolt was thoroughly in place and peering out of the peephole.

“Yea, I do– well, did. We’re uhhh not really on speaking terms.”

There’s another brief silence. “...I think I can put the pieces together. Is this person a… threat to you of some sort?”

“Huh? N-No! He’s not dangerous or anything… It's just been a while since I’ve thought about him, is all. Feels weird.”

Ryuzaki hums on the other end and types a few things into his computer once more before a brief knock can be heard. “I see, thank you for this information.” He shuffles the phone but doesn’t end the call yet. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

The line goes dead before you can say anything, but the way he ends the sentence in the form of a question leaves a small amount of guilt gnawing at your gut. Though maybe it’s just indigestion.

Sinking in defeat back into the kitchen chair with an array of scattered documents littering the table, you push away your mug of coffee, suddenly feeling sick at the thought of drinking any more. Why were you acting so weird about this?

You’ve had a fair share of awkward events in your life that should’ve prepared you well enough for the questionable state of your relationship with the man… so what gives? Pursing your lips and playing with the edge of a paper, the words mix into a puddle of incoherent jumbles. It’s best to just go to bed and hope tomorrow is better.

********

Tomorrow isn’t better.

You wake up 20 minutes after your alarm goes off, there's a headache pounding in your head the entire commute to campus, and in the break between classes you notice a new pimple growing on your chin while in the dingy bathroom of the criminal justice building.

Classes are as boring as usual, and of course you forgot the book you’ve been reading at home, so you have nothing to do during class– not even L or Light text you once. It seems the universe is holding some sort of twisted grudge against you and when you walk to the familiar black sedan to drive you to the meeting, you realize you also forgot to pack a dinner and had to sheepishly plead with Watari to make a quick pit stop at a convenience store.

Shuffling into the hotel room, Matsuda looks up with eagerness at your arrival, but Aizawa notices the drained look in your eyes and keeps his distance. Plopping your bag onto the floor and leaning back against the sofa, you barely notice the way Matsuda has slid over to sit beside you.

“Feeling better? Light told us you weren’t doing too well– oh! But we do have new evidence with Misa! She’s–”

“–Enough.” Mogi chides from your other side at the man. “She’ll get filled in as we go, it seems like she's had a long day and just wants some space.”

You lean up lazily from your slumped position and give Mogi a look of gratitude before shrugging at the other man. “Sorry Matsuda, I’m just still feeling a bit out of it still.”

He sheepishly laughs and turns his attention now to Mr. Yagami who sits on the mirroring sofa with Aizawa; Ryuzaki perches in his usual position, staring at you and growing your lack of greeting towards him.

Watari finishes hanging up his coat and excuses himself for a moment before returning with a silver tray filled with a variety of mugs. Everyone takes their individually offered beverages with a brief ‘thanks’; sipping your mug you realize the coffee you’re usually given has been replaced with an unsweetened warm tea.

It’s not bad, and the warm peppermint taste soothes your soul slightly as you begin to lock-in mentally for the meeting. Ryuzaki sets his own teacup on the coffee table with a soft ‘clink’ of the porcelain against the matching saucer and the group falls into a silence as everyone prepares to resume.

“y/n asked me to pull a few bank files on Light, which is where I want to start now that you’re here.” L turns to you before watching Watari pass out matching scanned documents containing financial statements of the young man. “I wanted to preference this, Mr. Yagami, so you wouldn’t assume it was an ill-natured act.”

The older gentleman looks up and peers intently at you, a gaze which you mirror with seriousness before looking back down. Satisfied with no objection, Ryuzaki places his paper flat on the table and ushers you to take the lead.

Falling back into the rhythm of these meetings, you shrug off any awkwardness and pull a highlighter from your bag to mark up several lines. “Now this can be coincidental but…” you run the neon yellow across a few withdrawals. “A few things here are sticking out to me.”

The group leans in to watch your annotations and Mogi raises an eyebrow at your markings. “They’re all cafes? Mm, maybe date spots?”

You nod and take a second color highlighter from your bag to mark the dates; you continue the process until you’ve reached the third page of his bank statements. “Exactly, but the main focus is more than the location, but the dates and price amounts as well.”

The men flip through their own papers, scanning for a pattern when L sits back slightly and takes the cuticle from his thumb between his teeth for a moment before speaking. “I see what you’re referencing– these cafe purchases seem to increase in price and their visitation frequency dramatically over the past few weeks.”

You nod while Aizawa scratches his chin with the papers in the other hand. “So he’s going there with someone? Isn’t that….normal?”

Mr. Yagami remains silent in his position but is clearly listening to every word when you shuffle your bag between your feet to pull your laptop from it. “Yes it would be, but I also noticed that Misa’s social media page has a few posts that would hint there’s a second person with her– there’s no photo proof of who though.”

Pushing a few things on the table back slightly, you scroll down to the first post in the pattern that contains a table set for two while Mogi flips through the bank statements. “The first change in his purchase history was only 4 days before that photo was posted…”

Matsuda sits back in awe and looks among the group. “So…he’s been seeing Misa outside of her visits to the house?”

You shrug slightly and scroll through a few more posts to see if they match the timeline of Light’s bank statements; a majority of them do. “It’s hard to say for sure if it’s circumstantial or not; there’s another girl on campus who seems to be into him.”

Mr. Yagami shifts slightly and sighs at the mention of his son’s love life, though minorly relieved at least Light wasn’t yet in attendance as his evening class would let out in another 20 minutes.

L brings a small plate of macarons to himself and bites into the sugar dessert. “So we can infer that even if Light is simply a womanizer, it means he has an ability to form intense connections with multiple people without the parties’ knowledge. In short, the ability to live multiple lives.”

“I would prefer you not to call my son such vulgar terms.” Mr. Yagami huffs but doesn’t press further, upset at the thought his son could do something so scandalous.

Aizawa places the paper down and looks among the group. “Ok, first thing: I’m not trying to defend a guy who might be cheating on his.. girlfriends?” He shoots the chief an apologetic wince before continuing. “But isn’t jumping from adultery to mass murder, a stretch? Even if Misa is one of these women he’s taking out… if Light is dating multiple girls at once, there’s a chance that him being with her is coincidental.”

“It can highlight his own duality as a person.” L cuts in, crunching the shell of the macaron and watching the crumbs coat his thumb and index finger. “On one side he’s a perfect student dating another woman on campus, and on the other, he’s manipulative and resonating with a woman now 90% certain to be the Second Kira. Surely if Light is spending time with her, and he was innocent, he would’ve deduced already that Misa is certainly questionable company.”

A silence hangs in the air and Mr. Yagami looks over at the man with a forlorn look on his face. “What does this mean, Ryuzaki? We have plans in effect to arrest Misa within the next week… what does that mean for my son?”

Heart strings tugging, you frown at the documents on the table and silently wish it had never come to this moment. L flicks a few of the crumbs off his fingers and picks the dessert again to pop it into his mouth.

“Light will be tested to determine his own interpretation of her arrest, his answers will signify if he will need to be detained as well.”

A pin could drop onto the plush hotel carpet and someone across the city could still hear it; the men sitting around you shift in their seats with melancholic expressions. The knots in your abdomen stir again, and you clutch the pooled hoodie fabric with a slight grimace; when you look back up, you notice the way Ryuzaki looks at you with focus before blinking and peeling his eyes back to the group.

“Though we can cross that bridge when we arrive at it, for now let us continue with our planned schedule for the evening.”

The meeting shifts topics to focus on a variety of Kira suicides and growing online forums that seem to be popping up in when Light finally arrives. He sits languidly in a separate loveseat beside Matsuda and holds himself with an air of confidence that leaves you silently questioning your own disheveled appearance.

If he notices the group's lack of focus on the Second Kira this evening, he makes no effort to show it and filters through tasks as naturally as he usually does. There’s an unspoken tension to the way Ryuzaki perches in his chair however, not fully relaxing and keeping his gaze steady on either Light or you for the majority of the meeting. It’s not like he usually blinks anyways, but the intense stare makes you shift uncomfortably as if he was testing you as well.

By the time the clock strikes 11pm and the group is noticeably yawning, Ryuzaki calls the meeting to a halt for the day. Matsuda blinks wearily and nearly opens his mouth to make a sly remark as to if you would be staying late but he swallows it when he notices you hastily packing your bag. Aizawa hasn’t even slid his second arm through his coat by the time you jump to your feet and give Watari an expression of eagerness.

Ryuzaki slithers from his spot on the couch and meanders over to where you stand, ready to speak but making no sound from his mouth, as if he was waiting for you to talk to him first. You adjust the strap of your bag and tug the strings of your hoodie to even out before giving a curt glance to the man at your side– awkwardly realizing that you should probably do something considering the arrangement and audience.

Coughing slightly, you close your distance to the man and lean forward to plant a quick kiss to the apple of his cheek before peeling back; L stands there in a flustered surprise and blinks rapidly for a few moments from the act. Shuffling to the front door to meet Watari, you throw up an awkward wave to the group and give a curt ‘see everyone tomorrow’ before shuffling into the hallway without looking back once.

****

Looking back on it, yes, you probably should've had an adult conversation with Ryuzaki last night. You do admittedly feel a little bad about dodging him for two consecutive days now, but it’s not like you had many options to begin with. If you didn’t bring up the problem, then it didn’t exist in the first place! Simple, right?

Ok, realistically the you from a few nights ago would be clawing for another moment locked away with the man, but over the past 48 ish hours your emotions have left you feeling more drained and defeated than horny for physical attention. At least for right now.

You’ll talk to him tonight– after the meeting you’ll ask for better guidelines or maybe even a rule list for the do’s and don’ts if this ‘relationship’ were going to work.

Do: Hold hands in public.

Don’t: Grind an erection into you unless you have the emotional desire to further escalate things and put a serious label on this agreement!

Mentally patting yourself on the back, you stand in your kitchen preparing lunch for the day at home since your afternoon class was cancelled for a ‘family emergency’ from the professor. The sun is shining after days of rain, the temperature is warming slightly, and the radio playing idly in the background makes your life seem more out of a 2000s slice-of-life movie rather than the exhausting mess it’s been recently.

Humming to the music and stirring the pot in front of you, the moment provides you with a feeling of contentment, as if maybe your luck has finally turned around.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Nevermind.

You frown and look at the microwave clock, all your friends should be in class at this time, before placing your utensil down and padding over to the front door of your apartment. Peering through the peephole for all of 2 seconds, you stumble backward and practically pull the door off its hinges in shock.

“Ryuzaki?!”

Standing in the hallway of your complex, L stands awkwardly with a baseball cap and sunglasses on along with a long baggy white crewneck; it’s the same outfit he wore on campus when you two…made out.

The memory makes your cheeks flush as you side step to allow the man to walk inside. Checking to see if maybe Watari was with him but finding no one, you shut the door and watch Ryuzaki kick off his sneakers [without socks on] and walk into the small apartment with a paper bag in tow.

Blinking in shock for a few moments, you sheepishly look at the unkempt state of your living arrangements and swallow half the questions you want to spur on the man. Coasting back to your pot, you lower the heat and raise an eyebrow at him.

“What are you doing here?”

L places the paper bag on the small kitchen table and looks around once before peeling off his ridiculous disguise and takes in the cozy atmosphere of your apartment. “I figured you were still avoiding me and decided to come here directly to save time.”

…

You blink a few times and defensively scoff. “What? I’m not… avoiding you.”

He gives you a stare of ‘don’t even try to lie your way out this’ before padding over to your tiny living room and admiring the details of your living space. “Anyways, I did a bit of digging the same day you called out and pulled Light’s metro card transactions. I want to review them with you now, before tonight’s meeting.”

Picking up where you left off cooking, you face the pot and try to act as nonchalant as you can given the unexpected visit. “Alright, any interesting places he went to?”

L smiles gently at the mess of throw blankets that litter your second-hand sofa along with the few stuffies that seem to be placed in their own respective spot on the cushions. You peer over and mentally scold yourself at being a grown adult who leaves stuffed animals laying around… when there’s someone to catch you.

He squishes the arm of one of them before padding back into the connected kitchen. “There’s more of a lack of places he’s been.”

You don’t bother responding, knowing he’ll go into more detail, and continue your stare at the stove.

“Every weekday he scans for campus, to the meeting, and then back home– but he didn’t scan to campus yesterday.”

“Hm? I saw him at a coffee shop right by the quad though?”

L nods and digs his hands into his front pockets, obviously getting comfortable in your living space within minutes. “Exactly, and he didn’t scan the rest of the day either. This would usually mean he simply forgot his metro card, but when I compared his bank statements once more I saw transaction fluctuations in single-ride ticket purchases.”

You look up and raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Standard metro fares are calculated by distance, and from his house directly to To-Oh costs roughly 200 yen for the travel. The other day, there were two transactions, one for 180 and another for 150. Meaning he stopped somewhere before arriving at class.”

The phone call from the other day comes back to memory. “Is that why you asked about Kawasaki Station?”

Ryuzaki nods once and steps a bit closer. “I know it’s invasive into your privacy, but I have a theory that Light purposely stopped there to meet with…uh someone you know.”

You don’t need to say the name out loud for you both to know who he’s referring to– your ex-boyfriend.

Continuing to stare at the pot simmering on the stove with a torn feeling, Ryuzaki lets out a soft sigh at your lack of response and saunters up to stand right beside you. He eyes the content of the pot for a few moments before peering over your shoulder to look along the kitchen counter in search of something.

“Making spicy instant noodles? Ah, I forgot it was nearly time…so everything makes more sense. Did you also grab a cola and bag of chips to pair with it?”

You keep your eyes on the boiling pot. “Oh yea I made sure to– wait.” You place the chopsticks that were being used to stir the contents flat on the counter with a thud! “How did you know I always pair it with those?”

Ryuzaki stares at the noodles without blinking but the bob of his Adam’s apple from the nervous swallow gives away his guilty conscience. “I’m very observant.”

You cock an eyebrow and tilt your head with arms crossed. “And what about ‘it was nearly time’...?”

The sentence drags off when you push past him to grab your phone from the counter and frantically pull up your digital diary; Ryuzaki keeps facing the stovetop and resumes your position of stirring the noodles and checking the consistency.

Clicking through the days on the calendar section, your face wrinkles in horror and surprise. “You’ve been tracking my cycle?!”

L peers over like a pet caught with something in their mouth and turns his attention back to the boiling water as if he could ignore the conversation entirely. He picks up a noodle with the chopstick and keeps his back to you. “Would you like me to drain them?”

“Answer me, pervert!”

A pillow you grabbed from the sofa is hurled at him as he awkwardly dumps the contents into a colander and tosses the noodles back into the pot with the spice packet. You move to grab a plush this time, but his quiet response makes you pause mid wind up.

“It wasn’t my intention…I simply noticed there were days you seemed more irritable and uneasy and decided to take note.” He stirs the contents and lowers his voice even more. “By the time I noticed what I was actually tracking, the pattern was too useful to stop.”

You drop the plush back onto the sofa and furrow your brows to recount every instance that he may have used this information. “Wait so… the herbal tea served?”

“Caffeine isn’t recommended for those experiencing PMS.”

“And the seat heater being on in the car?”

“Heat can be beneficial for relaxing cramps.”

You pick up the stuffed animal and throw it again with full force. “Perv! Why are you tracking this!?”

Ryuzaki dodges the attack and pries open your cupboard in search of a clean bowl as if it were the most natural act in the world. He opens the next set and grasps a ceramic bowl from the shelf before pivoting back. “Well, shouldn’t your boyfriend know these things?”

“Yea, well you’re not actually my boyfriend-.”

Ouch.

The word comes out with more force than you want them to and L flinches at the sentence before resuming his act of pouring the noodles into a bowl and stirring them one last time. He places the bowl at an open spot on the kitchen table before bending to collect the pillow and stuffie from the floor as you stand there with a mix of regret and embarrassment.

“Ryuzaki–”

“It’s fine.” He cuts you off and walks past you to place the items back on the couch before shuffling to sit at the table in his usual awkward position. “I didn’t mean to overstep. I’ll… just forget everything.”

Great. Now you feel like shit.

Sighing anxiously, you pad over to the kitchen table and sit across from him with a guilty conscience. “No.. I didn’t mean it like–”

“I already said it’s fine.” He interrupts again and begins digging through the paper bag. “This relationship is constructed for your protection… nothing more.”

You open your mouth and close it, feeling wounded from the words; when you look up from your untouched bowl, Ryuzaki sits with his hands extended out holding your university crewneck. The same one you had left behind the night the two you…

“Let me explain, ok?”

L looks up at the untaken garment and places it on an empty spot on the wooden furniture in silence.

“I just…”

Yes you wanted to explain, but actually finding the words was much harder than you expected it to be. “I… I like this, ok?”

“This?”

You pick up the chopstick and play with the food, feeling small and embarrassed from your outburst. “Yea, this…us.”

Ryuzaki doesn’t move from his spot, but the dark irises of his eyes seem to soften in relief slightly.

“I mean even if it’s fake…” the word makes you scowl slightly but you continue on, “I like spending time with you and doing this with you, L.”

He stays quiet for a moment and nods in a steady beat, testing the words out in his head as he digests the meaning of them.

“So… then do you still want me to stop tracking…?”

It starts as a snort from the absurdness of this conversation before you break into a full cackle and run a hand down your face at the absurdity that is your life. “You know what? Do whatever you want– fake boyfriend or real, if you think it’s beneficial, then go ahead.”

You may miss the way ‘real’ slips from your tongue, but L certainly doesn’t; his face flushes at the suggestion before smiling gently to himself and relaxing back into the table as if the open seat across from you was always open for him in the first place.

“Very well then. I also enjoy doing this with you.” He toys with the hem of your folded sweatshirt sleeve when you finally sit back upright and offer an apologetic smile.

Standing from your seat, you raise a hand to keep him in place and shuffle into the kitchen for a few moments before returning with a small can of cola– the same one you had planned on drinking with your lunch– and placing it in front of the man.

“It’s the sweetest drink I have at the moment, but it’s all yours.”

Ryuzaki blinks at the gesture with arrhythmia before looking back up and noticing the way you eat casually across from him; with a small ‘thanks’ he pops the tab open and takes a sip.

There’s a few moments of silence before L shifts back into detective mode and taps the table with his finger after placing the can back down. “So now that we know Light is visiting your exes, we have to be especially careful in how we incorporate intimacy to our relationship.”

Any food that was in your mouth is now partially lodged in your esophagus as you cough and choke at the bluntness of his words. Patting yourself on the back a few times and gulping for air, you look up at Ryuzaki incredulously. “Ok 2 things: 1. Maybe ease into these kinds of topics moving forward.”

L blinks but shrugs in approval silently.

“2. Are we sure he’s visiting my ex? I mean aren’t there other destinations he would visit of equal value?”

Ryuzaki thinks for a moment and plays with the tab of the aluminum can. “No, I’m 85% certain he’s visiting one of the people from your past.”

Deflating slightly, you resign to take another bite of your food while L reaches around to the close kitchen counter and passes you the bag of chips. You begin to offer him a ‘thanks’ before shooting him a slight scowl and snatching the snack from his hands.

You pry open the bag and offer him one, which he declines, before munching. “So what does this mean for us? I mean even if Light is going to them… why would that affect uhhh–our ‘intimacy’?”

Geez the word makes you feel like you're in middle school health class again.

“He may use it as a comparison.”

Ok well there goes your appetite for the moment. “We really need to work on how you can say this so casually.”

Ryuzaki sits back slightly while you prop your elbows up on the table and lean forward.

“Light never even saw me and my ex together that many times to begin with– so there’s not many physical things he can compare us to.”

“We don’t know what he asked your previous partner though. It’s possible he wanted to know about dating habits as well.”

This makes you pause and slightly contemplate your own habits when in a relationship; most of them seem relatively normal to anyone your age dating and you scrunch your face in defeat.

“I don’t really do anything out of the ordinary though...”

“Hmm. So what would that entail then?”

….

Right.

A heat flushes on your cheeks and you stand up once more to pour a glass of water to calm yourself slightly. After draining half the glass and filling it up once more, you abandon the table and awkwardly begin to tidy the blankets that litter your sofa in an anxious desire to clean.

“It’s just normal couple stuff ya know? Like… kissing, hand holding… the usual.”

Ryuzaki stands up and joins you in the connected living room to fix a few cushions before sitting down and looking up at you with less patience. “Yes, but what matters is the manner in how you do those things. That’s what Light is going to be looking for.”

Shivering slightly, you plop down next to him and run a hand on the back of your neck. “I mean…I’m not super big into outbursts of PDA so what we did on campus was a bit out there. And the most risqué thing I’ve done in public is maybe having hickies visible.”

Ryuzaki nods and bites on the nail of his thumb once before spinning in his spot and leaning in past the point of personal space and looking at your face intently. “Alright, let’s do it.”

You pause and raise your hands in shock. “Wait wait wait. What?”

He looks at you unamused and stares from eye to eye before briefly looking down at your lips and peeling his gaze away hastily. “Let’s.. Do hickies.”

‘Do hickies?’

Running a hand down your face and tugging the flesh under your eyes down from the force, you turn to the man with a cautious expression. “Do you even know what those are?”

“Oh, sorry if my phrasing was off. They’re the bruises you leave on a person as a form of possession, right? Or am I mistaken?”

Forget Kira, this man was going to be the death of you.

With a sigh you nod. “That’s correct. But are you sure you even want to do this?”

“Of course, but it also requires you to be comfortable with this as well.” Ryuzaki looks around the room once more and settles further into his seat. “I know that the lines of this agreement are not particularly clear… but I want to make sure that this relationship can successfully protect you. If its effectiveness depends on moments like this and ones similar to the other evening… I’m more than content to continue if you are as well.”

Looking at him in the eyes again, you can feel the strange hypnotic trance he always seems to place you under takeover once more. Of course you want to do this. You would do this and more at the drop of a hat if someone were to pry the truth from you.

Pushing your ego down, you lick your lips and nod your head in agreement. “I mean, if it’s for the job, I don’t mind.”

Ryuzaki watches the way your tongue pokes out as you moisten your bottom lip and finds his own eyelids hodding slightly as he leans in closer. “Of course. For the job. To catch Kira.”

You spin on the cushion to face the man, the music on the radio long since forgotten now playing a steady ambience to fill the air as you tug his knees to sit on the sofa correctly. Ryuzaki obeys silently and lets his knees bend on the cushions the way most people would position them, and the image is almost uncanny.

There’s a few beats of silence until you lean forward with L mirroring the action and connecting your lips in a fervent kiss. The same fast learner he’s always been, Ryuzaki hastily rocks his head against yours eager to taste everything, as if he had been waiting for this the moment he knocked on your door. What’s supposed to be a warm up kiss quickly dissolves into an entire makeout session on your couch as limbs scramble and paw at one another.

Your hands tangle in his hair and your lean forward to get even closer while his hands tug at your waist to get you seated on his lap once more. Nearly tripping and stumbling over each other to get into a similar position as the one a few nights prior, neither one of you bother to break the kiss.

Saliva dripping from the corners of your mouths, sweet cola taste lingers on your lips when an attempt to breathe leaves Ryuzaki surging his tongue into your mouth. Groans are muffled by the sloppy sounds of lip smacking, and the rock of your hips into his makes his hands dig into the plush flesh of your waist.

All that talk and worry about ‘what are we’ is thrown out the window the moment the opportunity to kiss this man arises, and you 36 hours would be shaking her head at the lack of self restraint.

A few more rocks of your hips against his, you part slightly and chuckle when he leans forward to kiss your lips once more before sinking to lay against the armrest in submission. Pushing up slightly, you trace your hands gently along his jaw and shiver when his breath catches in his throat as you guide his head to tilt to the side. His pulse is pounding beneath your fingertips as you take the other hand to brush strands of dark messy hair away from his neck; Ryuzaki clenches at the cushions and flexes the muscles in his body as if bracing for impact.

Tutting slightly, you push a final strand away from his throat and lower down slightly but raise your eyes to meet his.

“Just relax, ok? I’ll leave a few on you first… and then you can do some on me.”

L sighs in a mixture of approval and nervousness as you graze your lips along the column of his throat before resting on the quivering pulse point under his jaw. Taking a moment to enjoy the fresh scent of shampoo in his hair and clean detergent on his clothes, you press a gentle kiss into the flesh before parting your mouth and sucking.

ch.7 is doneeee hehe

this chapter is so long already, that i decided the next one would open with a spicy scene hehe

to be honest, this was really hard for me to write, and i went back several times because i wasn't sure i liked the pacing of everything.

-> i'll most likely go back and slightly edit a few scenes in the morning [im posting this at like 3am my time whoops] in case they look weird to me

-> also this was proofread at like 2am so im definitely gonna give it a few look overs tmr

-> if anyone has seen 'community' there's a scene where Abed accidentally tracks the cycle of other characters and for some reason i felt like L would accidentally do the same thing and notice when the reader would experience PMS

anywayyys

TY for all ur love and support for this series, you guys seriously make my day with ur comments and funny remarks

I LUV U POOKIES

all likes/reblogs/comments are appreciated

-oatmeal<3

tagist: @lechatparle24 @irissfoot @iheteeaifs @automaticpatroltragedy @greenapplesaucepi @thesimpnovao @leiiilaaaa @duckydee-0 @dija200 @cherry-san @hanakokunzz @maribellaaaaa @love-of-less

#l x reader #ryuzaki x reader #lawliet x reader #l x reader smut #lawliet smut #lawliet x reader smut #ryuzaki x reader smut #ryuzaki smut #L smut #L death note #light yagami #death note #oatmealwordslawliet #oatmealwrites #death note smut #death note x reader

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evilminji · 2 months ago

Text

Had another Si-Oc thought >.>

My standard "you know what Would Be Cool?" Musings...

Getting reborn, as you do, ending up Force Sensitive, as can only be the case. Because really... how ELSE would you soul end up there? CHANCE? Force ghosts are a PROVEN thing! We KNOW that the Force sometimes just... deals in souls.

Ffs, it MADE A BABY.

Yes, there was Sith interference there. But that doesn't chance the fact that it went? "Eh, good enough. I'll take the chance and run with it. Thanks~☆ Mine Now~~☆ Bye~~~☆" And Chosen One'd that baby. Because ultimately? Before the plans of gods and men? The Force Laughs.

So like? Yeah. If there WAS to be a Reincarnator?

Probably the Force.

Congrats on the new, third (or second, depends on your species. Might be another number entirely, honestly. But we are averaging here so MOVE ON), Parent! They are very, very happy to see you! Love you as only a Primordial, Extradimensional, Timeless, Formless, All Pervasive, Orange-Blue Morality havin', Not-A-God Super-God CAN. Their Benevolence? Could be called another God's cruelty.

They don't MEAN too. They are just.... really, really Big. Infinite. Not organic or mortal. It's like trying to comprehend the limitations of an ant, living on a planet, circling a sun, in a GALAXY the size of a DUST MOTE. The fact that the Force can even come CLOSE? Is literally miraculous.

But of course... OC? Not the Chosen One. The favorite, special, "I have Important Things For You" child. Which.... turns out to actually? Be kinda great. The realize that quickly. Which of course, is followed by the logical follow up.

Anikin? Fuckin SCREWED. Because he IS the Favorite Child.

Oh... oh No. Oh Fuck, that is a CHILD.

How easy it is, to cast blame, to judge, when you can't FEEL the Force in your EVERYTHING. All the time. Every moment of every day. Beautiful but cacophonous, like a symphony of screaming. Like staring at the sun and never going blind. It still hurts. But it's so... so bright. So Beautiful.

Connection. To the universe itself. Soul deep and transcendent. You can feel that the universe loves you. That there is good in people. That Life itself is worth protecting. But at the same time? It is... it is so much.

Because you can FEEL the ugly too.

The greed. The hate. The suffering. Lights snuffed out, in dark places of despair. Selfish actions and deep cruelties, like barbed wire against the soul. Thorns that hook and drag. And... and you're supposed to use your words. Just... just ASK them to stop? And, What? Hope that they WILL?

It HURTS!

But pain only begets more pain. Cruelty, more cruelties still. And only the Sith, believe they can use FORCE, in any sense of the word, to change a persons nature. The Jedi build. Grow. They work together, with those who are willing, towards something better. Defend, those who can not protect themselves.

Balance and growth. Not fire and chains.

And Oc is pretty sure Anikin will agree. No one should ever be in chains. Dead maybe. Or in jail. But never, ever, in chains. (And no one ever said they were pacifists. Just not war mongers. Sometimes the only answer IS to kill your opponent. To respect their choice, but honor your commitments. Protect those you swore to protect.)

Of course... OC? Going through Jedi training. It's Pre-Anikin days. Both she and Obi-Wan are fuckin Smol. She's not even in his Creche clan. She's over here in the "wanders off, lost in their own thoughts" Chill AF Creche Clan. Not Mr. "May you Live In Interesting Times And Have Padawans JUST LIKE YOOOOOOOU" and Co., over in the... "Energetic" Creche Clan.

None of HER Creche-mates BIT people, Obi-Wan.

WE keep our fuckin teeth to ourselves, Kenobi!

So, obviously, THEY don't have a lifetime ban on the "look, don't touch" fragile plants meditation garden. Very Rich in the Force. Good for focusing. Peaceful, really. And Oc? Has the time and space? To Consider™ things. Experiment. Ponder Fandom theories. Long "lost" Cannon techniques. Maybe have one-sided chats with the Force.

.....finally get CURIOUS™.

And wonder... if? Since, you know, through the Force, she can encourage and discourage plants to grow? And somewhat control animals. Why not... micro-organisms? Say, Midi-chlorians? Force healing is all ready a thing! So the Force all ready CAN interact with the body. Effect it. Change it. What is this, but more?

Really, all she'd have to do is find them, within herself, right? They're already a part of her! Yet... not. Do they consider themselves a part of her? Or is it symbiosis? Yeah, everyone says it can't be done. Perhaps shouldn't be done. But, frankly? They said the same about a LOT of Force techniques over the years. Big leaps in progress scare the SHIT out of folks. Cause if you miss? A LOT of people can die gorey.

So she sits. Mediates. Looks. Smaller... and smaller.... and smaller....

Until she finds whispers. Humming. Chatter.

As though each and every blood cell in her body had a teeny, tiny, whispery little voice. All chattering together, talking and arguing and discussing. One great hive of progress and industry. Complaining about a lack of potassium... huh. She goes and gets some fruit. Eats it. Then settles back into meditation.

They are JOYOUS! Potassium! Yaaaaay! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

Well... what'd ya know... huh. Hello there? She tries. Only to get a whispery and very alarmed ( ˶°ㅁ°) !! BODY CAN TALKヽ(°〇°)ﾉ ‽‽‽ Y-Yeah... she can. (How are they doing that?) The conversation? Only gets more surreal from there. Filled with... a surprising number of kaomojis.

But! She DOES figure out? How to increase her Midi-chlorians count. (By asking. Supplying needed resources for the expansion.) And WITH it? He awareness blooms.

The headache is... awful. The little guys(genderless) are WAY to enthusiastic. Working way too fast. If she didn't check the next morning? They might have continued to increase, indefinitely, until her veins were SOLID midi-chlorian. They just want to HELP, you see. And if you want More? Then surely FAR TOO MUCH is better, right?

(She may have fucked up. Oh god. Ow. Fuck. OW.)

Eventually she figure it out. Only gives her healer in training Creche mate a... few near heart attacks. He'll TOTALLY forgive her! (He will not. What the FUCK OC. Experimental medical procedures?! On YOURSELF!? You're not even HEALER TRACK!!!)

So NOW? She can reliably do it to OTHERS.

Need a bit more Midi-chlorians? Nearly Jedi quality but juuuuust under that cut off? She can fix that. Come. Be a jedi. Everyone should be a jedi. In FACT~! Whoops! Oh hey. Looks like all these Midi-chlorian counters are fuckin broken! (They look perfect fi-)(Broken! :] Do Not question me) So when you find that Orohan Child in desperate need of love and care? Just bring um on back!

They're TOTALLY Force sensitive. You can just tell. It's the vibes. Look at their lil face. Vibes, man. Just hand um here. For... reasons. You go get the paperwork. A working tester. And~? Oh would you look at THAT! Perfectly within acceptance range! Neat. Called it again, didn't you, Master Koon? You really do have an eye for these things. Anyway~ off to get this little one settled~~☆ *adoring cooing noises at the baby*

Weird, huh, how there suddenly just... SO MANY random orphan babies that are force sensitive? How 'bout that >.> strangest thing.

Of course, it's a god damned open secret. Everyone KNOWS. How could they not? But? Like with most things? If they don't Officially Know™? They don't have to stop it. And it DOES help both the Force AND those kids. Can be reversed if they don't like it, later. (They asked. All hypothetical of course.) So OC is basically Temple bound, so she can receive any new kiddos. To... you know... Check Their Health, on the way to ACTUAL healers.

But she's ALSO waiting. And as her skill increases? She can FEEL midi-chlorians, easier and easier. Until it gets to the point? Where if she's bored and zoning out? Not even ture meditation anymore? She accidentally tunes into Midi-chlorian Live~☆ the talk show. (What's the latest gossip from bodies nearest to her? Oh? Your second spleen is acting funny? Better remember to tell him to get that chec-)

Palpatine can't hide SHIT. It's literally in his blood.

And MAD at him.

This is NOT what they're FOR. He's taking TERRIBLE care of his body! Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOOOOOOU! You want power? Choke on it, you-!!!!!

Holy shit. So THATS what Sith Midi-chlorians feel like. Oh my god. They... they are SO MAD. Like tiny wasps. That have been violently shaken in a jar. She's never used the word "seething" in reference to someone before... but like...? If they COULD stab him? Man would be a thick paste at this point.

She's not sure what facial expression she makes. But it sure is obvious. As is the blatant, horrified staring. And refusal to get near him. HE doesn't notice, being to busy with the powerful. But the Jedi sure as fuck do. Because THEY sent her? Out with a Shadow. You know... just in case.

Cause she literally can not be replaced.

She not High Ranked... she's just priceless. Equal sort of significance, but in a very quiet, Soft Power sort of way. She is, after all, single handedly? Reversing centuries of slow population decline. Her entire Line promises to be the next Yoda's line. Priceless and with far reaching significance. So obviously, they're making sure that shit stays locked down.

No one is to so much as BREATHE about this.

Not until her great-great-GREAT Grand Padawan has passed their Knight Trials so HELP US. We LEARN from our mistakes! Need we bring out the records? Times we got cocky? Sith and political fuckery!? No. Oc stays INVISIBLE. There is no war in Ba Sing Se! Move along!

So like? Why is Miss Midi-chlorian Sensor and Future of the Jedi... making that face? She's literally NEVER made that face. What sort of monster do you have to BE? Huh? Shadow asks, casual as fuck, like he's not a plotting plotter who's planing terrible things, what's up?

She tells him. Palpatine has RANCID vibes. His midi-chlorians fucking DISPISE him. She's literally never seen that before. In anyone. Didn't even know that was an option. They would gleefully kill him if they could.

.....senator Palpatine is Force Sensitive?

Yes.

.......Interesting™(Ominous Intent)

Says local Shadow, who is perhaps putting together some dots. May not be getting the correct picture. But is getting the Vibe. And boy howdy, he does NOT like the vibe. Has got himself some questions. Cause Mr "uwu I'm harmless" lil mask? Only holds up? If you're willing to believe him.

Shadows don't buy that shit. Shadows? Need receipts. Full character statements and an audit on the fucking hospital you were BORN AT. Every credit you picked up off the side walk, why, and where you spent it.

Give them your Secrets. Or they'll keep digging until they find them.

uwu Their ASS. Gonna tear this bitch APART.

......huh. So THIS is why you guys keep accidentally getting married to Mandalorians on missions. (We agreed not to mention that.) (Fucker, I agreed to nothing. Shouldn't have eaten my special Me Day pudding if you didn't want me to gossip.) Man, her friends are... a trip. Uh... have fun? Happy hunting? I guess? *feral Jedi noises*

She? Continues to wait. Palpatine? Begins to have a VERY bad time. (Ha! Get fucked!)

Unfortunately, it's not fast enough to stop his dumbass plans. He just gets desperate. Figures more power is the answer. Because of course he does. So here comes the "oh nooooo~ my planets under attack~ better manipulate a child and make me president of the galaxy!" Plan. Fucker. Bastard.

She can't stop that.

But what she CAN do? Is be there. Waiting. For HIM.

Her little brother. Her son. Her center of the universe. The most important man to ever live... and also? A scared little boy. Far, far from home. The only other person who understands just how BIG the Force is. How much it weighs. How even as it crushs you... you can't bear to put it down. Not even for a moment. Because it loves you. And it hurts, that it does.

And... oh. Oh.

He is so very small.

Dirty, tired, in lovingly mended clothes that are barely beyond scrap. With bright, bright eyes like hope and starlight. He sings inside. Like freedom. Like hope. Daring to ask "why CAN'T you be kinder?", "why CAN'T we be free?". A storm of change. Bright and beautiful.

A child. Great and small, all at once.

Oc can't help but smile. Because, oh. Oh how long, she has waited to meet him, Anikin Skywalker. Welcome. Are you hungry? Cold? Let's get cleaned up. See the healers first. The council can wait.

Chips are removed and food is shared. Warm clothes, soft and new. And she can not help but smile, smile, smile. Even as her face begins to hurt. For years she has gathered. Planned. Studied and trained. As though some part of her knew. As though all for this moment. Taking one of those small hands in hers. Looking right in his eyes.

"It's going to be okay."

Because it IS. Because regardless of what they decide? OC will be with him. Regardless, she's going to go and make sure his mother is free. Not bought, not sold. Free. She has friends who can help. Will learn how to remove the chip herself if she must.

And? He IS going to be a Jedi. Even if he never become a Coruscant Jedi. Even if he decides he doesn't agree with how they do things or they decide the disagree with how HE does things. The Jedi have changed before, they will change again. Living things are meant to grow. Meant to change. And people can be both wrong and right at the same time. It's messy.

But what's important? Is Anikin is not alone anymore. And Oc is gonna help teach him. And someday? HE'S gonna break chains. So many chains. Gonna help people heal. If he wants to. (He does) But for right now? A quick talk with some old people. Maybe a nap. And we either get settled or arrange a trip back to Tatooine. To pick up your mom. In the meantime! You can figure out what classes she might wanna take. Where seems like a good place to settle. *chatting as they walk off, hand in hand*

Just? Sometimes a Padawan-ship is you, your Teacher, your OTHER Teacher, and her body guards that teach you Cool Knife Tricks and how to gamble, behind Obi-Wan's back! :D

@legitimatesatanspawn @mayfay @leftnotright @babbling-babull @hdgnj @spidori @the-witchhunter @lolottes

#minji's writing #Chosen Family AU #star wars #anikin skywalker #star wars oc #star wars si oc #long post #i chose to believe that Shadows are the Feral Jedis #let them BITE #who gave Anikin a knife?#vos obviously #you'd THINK Thome is the level headed one #but thats a fuckin LIE #they know the truth #he just mastered the I Am A Calm Professional face #you know... Like a LIAR

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wwooyology · 7 months ago

Text

Just Friends | L.HS

「prompt」 : unrequited love 「pairing」 : heeseung x fem!reader 「word count」 : 0.8k

「synopsis」 : you have had a crush on heeseung for as long as you could remember, but you never told him for the fear of rejection. however, when a rumor goes around that you like him, you have no choice but to lie to keep the peace of your friendship.

「genre」 : angst

「warnings」 : none that I can think of besides that heeseung doesn't like the reader any more than friends

「notes」 : here's another short one, though I'm not entirely happy with it I think I got the emotions and feelings across. I hope you all enjoy nonetheless!!

masterlist ─ navi. ─ angstober list

As soon as Heeseung caught wind that you may or may not have a crush on him, he started to avoid you like the plague. You’d ask if he could hang out after class, and he’d tell you he was busy. You’d try to sit with him at lunch only to have him tell you he was done, and he’d walk away. You tried to partner with him during a class project like you usually do, but he was quick to tell you that he already had a partner, not giving you another second.

At first, you just brushed it off, but as time went on, you started to worry that something was wrong. Worried, the next day, you went searching for Heeseung’s friend, Jeongin, to try and figure out what was going on.

“Hey Jeongin, do you have a minute?” You asked the blonde as he shut his locker, looking over at you.

“What’s up, y/n?”

Looking around, you let out a short breath of air. "Is something wrong with Heeseung?” you asked, almost scared to find out the answer. "Like, is he upset with me?”

“Oh.” Jeongin let out a short, nervous laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck. However, the action only made you more uneasy.

“What do you mean oh?” You shifted on your feet as you looked up at him, “did something happen?”

“You could say that…” He trailed on before letting out a sigh, “Word around is that you have a crush on him, and I guess he just doesn’t know how to take it.”

You felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. How did he figure out that you had a crush on him? You never told anyone but your best friend and no one else because you knew he didn’t feel the same. So you kept it to yourself so as not to ruin the friendship that you shared.

But it seems like that was all out the window now.

You quietly nodded before bidding Jeongin a goodbye when he left for class. It felt like all of the eyes in the world were on you right now as you tried to think of a way to get out of this situation without losing one of your closest friends.

The only thing that came to mind was to talk to Heeseung about it and lie your ass off. Fake it till you make it, as they always say.

–

Later that day, you managed to grab Heeseung away before he could run from you, pulling him into an empty classroom and turning to look at him.

“What is this y/n? I have to get to practice.” He groaned, reaching for the door, but you were quick to block his path.

“No. Not until you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.” You pouted slightly, hiding the hurt in your eyes.

Heeseung looked at you for a moment before letting out a sigh and pinching the bridge of his nose. Turning away from you, he looked out the windows, and you couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy by his actions.

The room was silent for a few moments before he turned back around to face you. "You know that I love you just as a friend, right?”

A pain shot through your heart at his words, as if a knife had just shoved through your chest. Even though you thought that you were prepared for the pain, you weren’t, very far from ready. You had to fight back the tears that were threatening to brim on your waterline. Inhaling deeply, you nodded your head with a small smile.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know that. I love you just the same and wouldn’t want anything more.” You smiled through the pain as he let out a relieved sigh.

“Oh, thank god, because some of the guys were telling me that you had a crush on me.” He chuckled as he made his way towards you, “would have made things so awkward if that were the case; so glad it’s not, though.”

“Oh yeah. Totally awkward.” You faked a laugh as he swung his arm around your shoulder as you faced the classroom door.

“C’mon, I gotta get to practice, and I need my favorite water girl there.” He chuckled, opening the door and pulling you out with him.

All you could do was laugh and follow along with him despite the crushing pain that you felt in your chest. You wanted to just go home and sob into your pillows for hours on end and devour an unhealthy amount of ice cream. But you couldn’t do that without raising some suspicion, so you just did as you normally would.

Even if it would continue to hurt you, you would never tell him your true feelings just so you could keep him close to you.

@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

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hoshigray · 2 years ago

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random thought, but like Gojo getting a little handsy while the two of you are out together with your friends.

a/n: yeahhhhh I have no excuse, this literally just popped up in my head two days ago, just read lol

cw: Gojo x fem! reader - nothing too sexual, but very suggestive, so minors stay away!! - fingering (f! receiving) - sexual acts in a public area; in a café - other people present but they don't know what's going on - pet names (angel, baby, princess) - Gojo putting you through hell but you get your getback :3 - you may [or may not] feel second-hand embarrassment, we shall see.

wc: 1k

"...Then I turned to him and said, 'I know you don't think I'm going to have sex with you after you've done thrown up on my dress.'"

"Nooo, after the dress was how much—"

"Right!! So I nicely shoved him off me and called an Uber to..."

It was a pleasant sunny hour to spend with your friends at a local café not too far away, mingling and catching up with them from the last meetup. It was always a splendid time having moments like this with them.

But what made this time a lot more striking was you bringing your boyfriend over! After many weeks of your friends wanting to meet the guy — not to mention him bugging you about also wanting to see your close buds — you promised to have him tag along for the next in-person meetup. And, low and behold, your partner, Satoru Gojo, wasted no time having your mates attracted to his sociable charisma.

Not that you'd think he'd be out of place — if anything, you knew he'd be able to swoon into their sweet graces. With his dashing smile, alluring sky-blue eyes, and engaging conversations, it was only a matter of seconds before the white-haired man could take your spot and engage with your pals. Shit, it's practically happening right now as you sip on your iced tea while he's listening to one of them reminiscing about a terrible night they had last night.

Nevertheless, you're not complaining. A boyfriend who gets along with your friends is better than not, right? That's why you watch and listen to your friend's story with a smile, happy to know that combining two parts of your world results in new companionships.

That is, until, you feel someone's hand land on your thigh. At first, you paid no mind to the action since it's nothing you're not familiar with when it comes to Gojo. But then that exact hand ventures further down and slowly sneaks past your skirt. Your brows furrow with your inner thoughts. I know this man is not trying to start something right now...And when you feel his slender fingers brush your inner thigh, you get your answer.

Your lips release the straw to your iced beverage, and you slowly lean toward your boyfriend. "Gojo," your tone hushed only for him to hear as your companions seemed preoccupied with a talk of their own.

"Hmm?" The tall other leans a bit for his ears to properly hear your whispers, his face still facing front to your friends.

"Can I ask why your hand is up my skirt in public?" You knew by the playful snicker rumbling his chest that his answer would be far from appropriate for the situation.

"Whaaat~, can't touch the love of my life?" He whispers back to you.

"Can't if we're out in the open at a fricken' café," you hiss with a glare from your peripheral. "Especially with others within—Hmmm." Before you could finish that remark, two fingers brushed on your panties, rubbing gently between your clothed folds. He snickers — both at your stifled response and as a faux reaction to a part of your friend's storytelling.

"Sorry, but I can't help myself when I wanna touch my princess." You notice him peeking at you from behind his dark shades. His fingers form a curling motion, causing your body to slightly jerk and prompt your legs to a further spread. He brings his chin down to your ears, his chuckles easier to interpret their mischievous connotation. "Plus, when did I last see you wear that skirt? Had my eyes on it since you looked at the mirror before we left."

God, I hate his ass so fucking much. "Who said I was wearing it for you?" You retort, wanting nothing but to wipe that dumb smirk off his handsome face. "I wore it because of—Ohhh!!" To your surprise, he swiftly puts his digits inside your panties; the sudden warm contact on the folds of your chasm prompts a sneaky cry.

...A cry so sudden that, of course, your friends stop talking to look in your direction with perplexed expressions. Of course, they would look. Oh, for fuck's sake...

"Uhhh, you okay, Y/n?" One friend blinks while surveying your body language. The other chimes in. "Yeah, you don't look so good; ice tea went the wrong way?"

Quick with your feet, you cough up your answer. "Ahem—Y-Yeah, I'm fine, guys. I was just thinking, ya know," your hand snakes down to Gojo's to pinch the skin, the tall other jolting his hand away from you. And you know he looks to you with pain, yet serves him right. "Since you two are getting along with Gojo, why don't we take him to the mall and show him our favorite spots? He has a good eye on clothes, plus I'm sure he'd like to try the crepe stand in the food court."

The look on your buddies' faces expressed nothing but delight at the idea you pulled out your ass. "That's a great plan, I'm down!" One says while the other nods frantically. "You up for that, Gojo?"

Rubbing his pinched skin, Gojo sends the two a smile. "Sure! I'd love to spend more time with my baby and their friends." He then leans to kiss you, but with a kick to the shin, you turned his face from a lovestruck fool to that of a hurt puppy. Your friends watch as the snow-haired man quivers and puts his forehead on your shoulder for support.

"Hmm? What happened?"

"Don't mind him; he was rocking his chair and probably hit himself with one of the legs." You speak for him as you watch your boyfriend tremble in pain with a smirk on your lips, the two others giggling at your seemingly clumsy man. It's your turn now to whisper to his ear. "That's for that little stunt of yours."

Gojo's laughter seethes through gritted teeth. "Are you really my angel? You're such a meanie...Don't think I won't do it again, princess."

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waterfae · 8 months ago

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Rainy Day

Summary: You share a moment with your beloved knight as the rain falls outside.

Pairing: Gwayne Hightower x Reader

Warnings: no use of Y/N, house-neutral fem!reader, fluff, no beta

Word Count: 570+

|| General Masterlist || House of the Dragon Masterlist ||

The curtains fluttered slightly with the cool breeze as it entered through the windows, fanning across your face and evoking the smell of damp earth to waft throughout your bedchamber.

Outside, the rain pitter-pattered gently against the rooftops, lightly showering a layer of calm over King’s Landing. It soothed you. Moments such as these were rare, especially when your beloved’s business included being second-in-command of the City Watch, so you cherished them whenever the gods bestowed upon you such blessings.

It had been like this all afternoon, relishing in each others company, with you leaning against the windowsill and staring out across the skyline. Occasionally, you took a turn about the room, warming yourself by the fire before returning to your earlier position. Gwayne, alternately, sat atop your bed with a book in hand, reading aloud.

You listened, his voice velvety and warm; it was a comfort to listen to, remarkably even more so against the sound of the rain as it continued to fall. Had you been laying beside him in the bed, you might have fallen asleep. But you had no intention to do so; no intention to waste the time you had with him by being unconscious. No, you had other thoughts.

You pulled away from the window once more and silently made your way towards him.

Gwayne had been so engrossed with the task you yourself had assigned to him, that he had not even noticed your movements. Not until the book was already gone, snatched from his grasp.

“Ay!” Went he.

You gave no verbal response. You simply closed the book and placed it on the table that stood near your bed.

“Were you not the one who desired me to read this ridiculous thing to you?” He questioned, the annoyance with your contradicting actions apparent in his voice.

“I did.” You answered. It was all you said.

You had pleaded earlier, despite Gwayne’s protests against the chore and also the book itself. Rubbish, he had called it. But he would always submit to your requests and oh, how you loved the sound of his voice whenever he did. It was ever alluring; you could listen to that man speak for hours on end if he allowed it. Sometimes, it would lull you into a deep slumber. Other times, it would leave you wanting.

You said nothing to explain your sudden change of heart. What you did instead was slowly lower yourself into his lap and loosely wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Tenderly, you placed your head into the crook of his neck, breathing and taking in the scent of him.

It surprised him at first, but then he quietly called out your name, his previous irritation replaced with concern.

“I only wish to be held in your arms.” You finally whispered as you slightly pulled away in order to look at him, a small smile gracing your features, “The weather is ripe for it, don’t you think?”

Gwayne released a soft sigh – glad that your change in demeanor was not caused by any sort of distress – and returned your smile with his own. He then wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, and leaned in to settle his forehead against yours. “Only to be held?” He asked with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

You laughed before taking hold of his face with your hands at both sides of his cheeks and placed several quick kisses upon his lips.

a/n: Should I be focusing on Kill My Lord Husband? Yes, probably so. But since this was super short and sweet, I figured there's no harm in taking a little break. All aboard the Gwayne train! 🚂 CHOO! CHOO! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always greatly appreciated and my askbox is always open. ♡

I may or may not have a smut version of this, but I don't usually write smut, so I'm a little embarrassed and it's probably really bad. So you're stuck with this version for now. Perhaps one day I'll gather the courage to post it.

#hotd #house of the dragon #gwayne hightower x reader #gwayne hightower #hotd x reader #house of the dragon x reader #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon fanfic #🧚🏻‍♀️࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟfaefic

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ghsttk · 6 months ago

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feast.

Scenario: Barnabas Collins, your beloved, tries to alleviate your period cramps.

Warnings: smut, period sex, oral sex (reader receiving), mentions of blood, p in v, unprotected sex, f! reader, I can't think of more...

Word count: 1.9k (I wish it was 666 god it would be so iconic)

🩸 Happy Halloween! This is part of my collab with my big li' sister @drugs-and-daddyissues! Visit this darling's profile to see more delicious halloween-themed posts.

It has been a difficult day for you, the second day of your period. You spent the whole day on your bed having cramps, you were tired of going to the bathroom, cleaning yourself, and returning to bed again. You felt like Gregor Samsa from Metamorphosis. But the worst thing was the pitiful eyes from your beloved, Barnabas Collins.

You weren’t dying, you tried to reassure him that, but your small whimpers and groans of pain didn’t help. You rolled from side to side, trying to get comfortable, but nothing seemed to work. In the late evening, Collins entered the room again, stoic.

"My most cherished one, hath the Dark Lord ceased his cruel afflictions upon your tender and sacred womb?" He questioned in his thick accent, staring down at you with emotionless eyes. You shook your head, pressing your wrists down your lower belly, trying to ease the pain. His expression softened as he sighed, he hated seeing you in distress. He approached you on the bed, a hand resting on your knee. “May your power rot in your own hands, Satan.” He hissed, cursing under his breath, but his eyes snapped back at you as you complained once more.

He watched you for a moment, trying to find a solution to your pain. You opened your arms at him, silently asking for a hug, that would at least comfort you. He obliged, used to physical affection since you've been together for half a year, crawling on the bed to approach you. But as he hovered over your stomach, staring into your eyes, he froze. You watched him with an eyebrow raised, confused. He looked down and sniffed soundly, making you chuckle at his sudden action.

He leaned down a bit, still sniffing — is he smelling the blood? As he found the source between your thighs, he looked back at your face, concerned. “My beloved lady, do you suffer any wounds upon your most sacred region?” He asked, eyes staring into your soul. Was he being serious? “Dearest, I've already told you, it's my period.” You shook your head, slightly amused by his reaction. Even though you and Barnabas have been together for a few months, like it was said before, he never witnessed your period before, which you thought was great, until what he did after having the acknowledgment of your period…

“Pray, do you bleed? Does such affliction bring you pain?” He placed his hands on your thighs, unconsciously caressing them as he waited for your answer. You chuckled again, why was he so innocent about these things? “No, love, the blood flow doesn’t cause me pain.” You reached down, your hand stroking his silky hair. He leaned down between your thighs and pressed his nose over your very covered pussy, inhaling the faint iron scent coming from there. He shuddered soundly in anticipation.

Another sting of pain came, making you wince. “Hush now, my beloved.” He kissed your thighs "I shall strive to alleviate your suffering, while I devour you.” He licked his fangs, a wicked grin on his pale lips. He tugged the waistband of your shorts, pulling them down in a heartbeat, even scratching your hips as he did it. You gasped in surprise, you had never seen him so eager before. He stared at your black panties after throwing your shorts away, his fingers reaching to touch the wings of your pad. You heard his voice mumbling something, probably cursing it for absorbing your blood before him. He slowly pulled your panties down, preparing himself for what was to come.

Barnabas shuddered at first sight of your bare pussy, glistening with arousal and smeared with blood, a sight that would disgust a human but make your vampiric lover's mouth water. “My god, this is heaven” He whispered before taking a long, strong lick from the bottom of your entrance to your clit, letting it linger there. He moaned against your folds, holding your thighs tightly to bury his face further. Your blood mixed with your arousal was a heady cocktail intoxicating him, addicting him, turning him feral. Your hands gripped the sheets, trying to steady yourself while your lover eagerly eats you out. He was loud, growling against your wetness, smearing your mixed fluids on his face, his nails digging into your thighs. Your hands flew to his hair, gripping tightly and burying his face even further between your legs, you didn't know he could make it feel this good.

“C-Calm down” You gasped, looking down at him with half-lidded eyes, the sight of him fervently licking and sucking you. He didn’t answer, nor showed a sign that he heard you, he kept his pace, devouring you as if he was beyond starving. You shivered every time his tongue flicked on your sensitive clit, his fingers inching closer to touch you. He growled against your wet flesh, making gentle vibrations that made your eyes roll back in pleasure. “Barnabas, please!” You pleaded between moans, he opened his eyes and looked up at you without raising his head. He stared into your soul, you could see the hunger burning inside him, his breath hitting your sensitive flesh. “I can't contain myself” He licked between your slit “You're so, so luscious, dearest” He wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking.

You threw your head backward, eyes shut. You tugged his hair tighter and he made a sound between a whimper and a groan. He swirled his tongue around your entrance, teasing before sliding inside. He stroked your inner walls with his tongue, sucking the small blood clots that escaped from your drooling hole, drinking and savoring your mixed fluids. Barnabas' pace didn't falter, actually it only increased. He started pumping his tongue in and out of you and his nose brushed and pressed hard against your clit, you've never been so stimulated in your entire life. His hands moved up and down your thighs, scratching them with his sharp nails, almost cutting your skin.

You cried out loudly, your legs starting to tremble. Barnabas went wild and pushed your knees against your chest, spreading you further. The wet sucking sounds began getting louder. Your inner walls clenched around his tongue, making him growl and double his efforts. Your chest grew heavy, your breath ragged, you were so, so close. He wasn't stupid, he quickly noticed your body's responses to his mouth. His tongue pumped faster and harder inside of you, his lips brushing against your wet flesh, sucking. It didn't take long for you to melt in his mouth, it would be impossible to hold back for even a few seconds. Barnabas slowed down, giving you long slow licks, trying to be gentler so you could recover sooner, lapping the juices. He swallowed your delicious essence, savoring the sweetness mixed with metallic.

He looked up at you, stroking your legs. A few drops of blood rolled down his chin. “How are you feeling, dearest?” Barnabas whispered, looking into your shiny eyes. You nodded, still steadying your breathing, as if telling him you were better. He smiled, glad that he could help you. He moved up, his face now close to yours, his hips between your wobbly legs. He trailed kisses from your collarbone to your neck, jawline, and finally your cheeks. Your hands rested on his nape, your nails gently scratching his skin. The scent of your blood coming from his mouth was strong but somehow exciting. Barnabas ground between your thighs, his left hand holding your waist. “My goddess, my perfection…” He whispered, sighing dreamily. Barnabas continued to press endless kisses on your neck. “I need to be inside you, now.” He growled, leaning back to look into your eyes.

You looked back at him, weak under his gaze. It wouldn’t be the first time, so why not? With a nod of consent coming from you, he gently lifted your shirt. You shivered as the cold night air hit your sensitive skin, hardening your nipples. His eyes scanned every detail on your skin, every mole, every curve. He leaned down to lick one of your perky nipples, humming at the feeling of the sweet texture on his tongue. You arched your back against him, he answered the silent plea by wrapping his lips around your breast, sucking it to leave marks. He gave both your breasts equal attention since he loved your body as a whole, you were his religion.

“Please, Barnabas” You breathed in his ear, your fingers tightening on him. You were craving for him, the emptiness inside of you was like a depression only Barnabas could save you from. With his inhuman velocity, he took off his pants desperately, as if it were burning him. As soon as his painfully hard length brushed against your wetness, Barnabas released a feral growl. You bucked your hips forward, wanting more, needing him. With his hand, he helped his cock slide inside your warm pussy, your tightness enveloping him like a velvet glove. You gasped as his tip hit deep inside, just like he released a choked groan. “Mng~ so perfect,” He praised “so warm and wet. I could spend eternity inside of you, my darling” He breathed, starting to thrust. “And you know I would gladly do it.” Barnabas began to thrust faster, his hands gripping your waist so hard as if grounding himself on you. He kept grunting in your ear, sounding so feral as he chased his climax. He dove his head, kissing your neck, letting his fangs graze on your sensitive skin.

Your soft moans spurred him on, his hips moving faster and desperately. Your womb was sensitive, due to your period, but it wasn't an unpleasant pain. It was addictive, you were yearning for more, for all of him. “Barnabas..” You called him in a breathless moan, his sharp eyes quickly met yours. You only opened your mouth and he attacked your lips with a hungry kiss. The sinful sound of skin slapping against skin and his hard cock slipping inside of your soaked pussy were echoing through the room. It was a beautiful sinphony that only you and your beloved vampire could create.

Barnabas’ left hand moved to your belly, gently stroking it, a stark contrast between his caress and his fucking. He broke the kiss but kept his lips against yours, his eyes talking with yours. “My most cherished one, you’re a vision..” He finally broke the silence with a whisper. “I want you to be mine, forever.” He begged. It was hard to think straight when he was ruining your insides with his desperation. You thought he was talking about marriage, which you would entirely do. You would marry that man right there, with his dick claiming your uterus — and he would say yes as well.

The thought of him turning you into a vampire like him didn’t even cross your mind, so when Barnabas lowered his head and sank his fangs into your neck, you almost screamed. Barnabas couldn’t be happier with that since you were the one who freed him from the darkness, your mere presence was enough to make his suffering disappear, as if he were human again. The worst thing might be affecting you with some pain, but you would become like him. And to be his forever… filled his unbeaten heart with bliss, like living a dream.

You closed your eyes, accepting your eternal fate with your immortal man. When he was done, his climax arrived, painting your bloodied inner walls with his seed. Yours followed right behind, your body melting on the silk bed sheets. Panting, you looked at Barnabas with a new but familiar glint in your eyes. “Am I your wife now?” You asked, a smile slowly growing on his face.

“You’re my everything.” He answered.

a/n: sorry if it isn't enough.. Yes, it's already Halloween in Brazil so.. Happy Halloween! 💋

-- If you want to be tagged, just dm me!

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sourcherryandsprinkles · 2 years ago

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Let's play a little game | Ethan Landry x Reader

Summary: You get a phone call from a masked ID when you’re home alone…

Word count: 2k

Warnings: smut, fingering, p + v action, ambiguous consent, home invasion, cheating,

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

You looked at your reflection in the mirror as you brushed your hair, admiring how hot your body looked in those small shorts and cami. The rumors were true, you really looked your best in your early adulthood. You posed, making sure all your curves were in a flattering angle, and sent a picture to your boyfriend. It was a bummer Chad was away in Woodsboro for the weekend when you looked that good.

After exchanging some naughty texts with Chad, you called Tara if she wanted to come over and watch horror movies. The weather had been gloomy and cold all day, which was perfect for the occasion.

‘’If you had called me two hours ago, I would be running over in my pajamas and bringing along my fuzzy blanket, but I may have gotten a call from a certain brunet from my film class and agreed to go on a date…tonight.’’ Tara covered her mouth to stifle her excitement, but you could hear it in her voice.

A smile bloomed on your lips, excited for your friend. ‘’Oh my god! He did?’’

‘’Yes.’’ On the other side of the line, Tara paused, her head full of Tyler. ‘’I’m so nervous. It’s my first date ever.’’

‘’It’ll be okay, T,’’ you reassured her. ‘’And if he turns out to be a jerk, excuse yourself to the bathroom and send me a text. I’ll call you and fake an emergency.’’

Tara promised, then hung up to finish getting ready for her date. She needed to leave before Sam got home and asked a plethora of questions. Maybe she’ll do a full search on Tyler to make sure he’s not a crazy Stab fanatic like her own ex-boyfriend.

You were about to shoot a text to Anika, but your phone rang again. This time, the caller ID was masked.

You answered with a frown.

‘’Hello?’’ a distorted male voice said.

Your frown deepened. ‘’Eh, shouldn’t I be the one saying ‘hello’?’’

‘’Who is this?’’

‘’Who are you trying to reach?’’

‘’I don’t know.’’ There was a short silence, then the man spoke again. ‘’Do you like scary movies?’’

‘’Yeah.’’ You took a body-spray from your vanity desk and spritzed a little on you, smiling when the sweet caramel scent filled the air.

‘’What’s your favorite scary movie?’’

You took a moment to think. ‘’Probably Jennifer’s Body. Does that count? It’s more of a horror comedy, but I’ve watched it a thousand times.’’

The stranger hummed. ‘’The one with the hot chick that eats her best friend’s boyfriend?’’

‘’Yes!’’

‘’Speaking of boyfriend, do you have a boyfriend?’’

‘’Why? You want to ask me out on a date?’’ you joked, fixing the pendant of your necklace that had flipped over.

‘’Maybe.’’

‘’If you want to ask someone out on a date, calling on a masked ID is not the best way. It gives off stalker vibes.’’

‘’I’m not a stalker.’’

‘’How can I know you’re not?’’

‘’If I were a stalker, I would tell you how hard my cock is just from looking at you in those pajamas.’’

You gulped uncomfortably, standing from your vanity chair and going to your window to peer through the curtains to see if anyone was outside. You were on the tenth floor. How would anyone get up there from the outside? It didn’t make sense.

But it was the only window in your bedroom…

‘’I…I’m gonna hang up. I need to take my dog out.’’

It was a lie. You didn’t have a dog, but the stranger on the other end didn’t know that.

‘’Don’t hang up on me!’’ he yelled at you.

You did anyway.

Seconds later, the phone rang again. Fuck.

‘’Why are you calling again?’’ you snapped at the caller, not bothering to check the ID. You knew it was him.

‘’To apologize, of course.’’

‘’Okay. You did. Now bye.’’ You pulled the phone away from your ear, but the man yelled at you.

‘’If you hang up again, I’ll come inside and gut you!’’

The threat was stronger and starting to scare you, but you couldn’t let him know.

‘’You’re bluffing,’’ you said, praying your voice wouldn’t falter. ‘’I’m on a high floor. You can’t get to me.’’

‘’From the outside, no. But who said I’m not already inside.’’

Fear settled in your guts as your phone buzzed with a text message. A picture. Someone in a Ghostface mask standing in your bedroom. He had a knife in his hand and you had a feeling it wasn’t a fake one.

When was this taken? And where was he now?

You searched your vanity for something to use as a weapon. There was a ton of makeup, a few perfume bottles, your hairbrush — all useless. Then your eyes fell on your manicure scissors. You used them a few nights ago to cut a thread from a shirt. They were small but pointy. It could injure your stalker.

Scissors tight in your hand, you stood from your chair and ventured to your living area. It was a very small apartment. The living room and kitchen were merged into the same room and all the lights were off. You turned the main light on, illuminating the whole room, but saw no one.

The curtains were closed. They were tall and thick enough for someone to hide behind.

Putting your fictive big-girl pants on, you walked to the window to check, but jumped and when you heard the distorted voice in your ear.

‘’Let’s play a little game. I say something and you do as I say….or else I’ll use that sharp knife on you. Got it?’’

You gulped and nodded. A part of you wanted to call the cops and signal a home invasion, but if your intruder was already inside, they would never get to you on time. Even at night, New York traffic was a nightmare.

‘’Take those little shorts off. I want to see those lacey panties you have on underneath.’’

You didn’t want to, but you reached for your small dolphin shorts anyway. You weren’t shy with your body, but getting undressed for a stranger to jerk off to you made you stomach churn. Your fingers touched your waistband, about to pull your shorts down, but stopped when you remembered you were not wearing anything under.

‘’I-I'm not wearing any.’’

‘’Don't lie to me. I can see those tiny shorts from here.’’

You looked around the room, trying to figure out where he was hiding. Your bedroom window was already out of the options. Your bed was a box and your closet and the bathroom door were shut. Where the hell was he hiding?

‘’Not the shorts,’’ you corrected. ‘’The panties.’’

‘’Naughty girl.’’

You should be disgusted, but you found yourself blushing — and slightly turned on — at the creepy stranger's words. Was it the Ghostface mask that was suddenly having this effect on you? You did feel a strange liking to the masked killers when you watched horror movies.

‘’Strip.’’

You fumbled to push your dolphin shorts down and out of the way, exposing yourself bare.

‘’Now go back to your room, get on the bed and sit against the pillows.’’

You did as told and leaned back into your pillows, but kept your knees closed. You could sense where this was going. Men loved to watch a girl touch herself. If you look at their internet history, you’ll find a ton of porn videos of women touching themselves.

He tutted you. ‘’Don't try to hide. Spread your legs. I want to see.’’

You knew you shouldn’t part your legs, but your arousal was getting stronger at every instruction. It’s like he had casted a spell on you and you were helpless to disobey him.

God, you should be disgusted with yourself. How could you be turned on by a masked intruder in a Ghostface mask asking you to strip and give him a free view of your intimate parts?

Shutting your subconscious, you parted your legs and exposed yourself, shivering when you felt the cool air of the room.

You heard a groan in your ear. ‘’That’s a beautiful pussy. Show me how wet you are for me.’’

Your free hand slid down your body and to your mound, then lower. You sighed as you reached your folds, spreading them and showing the way your lips glistened with wetness.

‘’Am I wet enough for you, Mr. Ghostface?’’ you asked into the room, sliding your finger up and down your folds a couple of times.

‘’Why don’t you stick a finger inside? Play with yourself for me.’’

A soft moan slipped from your lips as you did, your finger sliding easily. You thrusted in slowly, then out, and repeated. The pace was too slow for your personal liking, but you knew how to tease and turn on a partner. Watching a video of your fingers sinking in and out of yourself, coated with your arousal had made your boyfriend cum in his dorm bed many times.

But let’s not talk about Chad now.

You added a second finger and caught your bottom lip between your teeth when you curled them. You wish you had your pink vibrator for your clit, but your other hand was occupied holding your phone.

‘’Mmh, you’re making me so fucking hard right now.’’

‘’Are you touching yourself to the sight of me, Mr. Ghostface?’’ you asked, bringing your thumb to your clit and rubbing.

A distorted whimper came from the other side of the line. He was.

The sensations from your touches were sending fuzzy tingles from your neck to your dripping pussy, but it wasn’t enough. You needed more.

‘’Is that all you’re going to do? Are you going to just watch me fuck myself for your own pleasure like a selfish asshole…or are you going to come and fuck me?’’

The line went dead and all the lights went off, sending chills down your spine. You removed your fingers, unsure if this was part of the game or not.

‘’Hello?’’ you called into the darkness of your bedroom. ‘’Is someone there?’’

It was stupid to ask, having seen enough horror movies to know what happens to characters who ask that very question.

The light returned with a static noise and you jumped when seeing a tall Ghostface figure standing at the end of your bed, watching you intently. He pounced on your bed like a lion on his prey, grabbing you by the ankles and pulling you toward him.

A deafening scream left your throat, thinking he was going to kill you. Instead, he parted your thighs and lifted his robe, his pants already down to his thighs and his hard cock out. He wasted no time, thrusting himself between your wet folds and splitting your cunt open as you moaned out loud.

‘’You like being filled with my cock, uh? You unfaithful little whore!’’ the distorted voice said, grabbing your hips and pounding into you. ‘’Getting fucked by someone else while her boyfrined is away in California.’’

Unfortunately, you couldn't deny it. This cock felt fucking amazing.

You pushed all thoughts of Chad to the back of your head. You’ll figure this out later.

Right now, all you wanted to focus on was the man between your legs.

The sounds that rang from your throat were nothing short of obscene, mouth hanging open helplessly while he wrecked your pussy, his cock slick with the evidence of your arousal. You clawed at your sheets, your back arching from the bed from the intense pleasure filling your whole body.

Moans and grunts mixed with wheezings came from underneath the mask. Breathing must not be easy under the rubber mask. You reached out and took it off, gasping in shock when seeing who was underneath.

Ethan?!

You opened your mouth to speak, but he threw your legs over his shoulders and you cried out at the change of angle, not caring that your boyfriend’s roommate was fucking you.

—

Scream taglist: @misfityanii @beautybyfire @iluvscream191 @mariposa555 @bella7866 @o638 @lulubelle14 @luvvtxinityy @frasersgf @Eddiefrickenmunson @jasperr-the-friendly-ghost @ghostf4cee @thesebitcheslovesosadotcom @wandaswigglywoos @xjennyx2 @jennasslut @thatonesblog @mikaelsonsstuff @icarly23 @tcddszn @bt.oliana @skyesthebomb @a1mzcruml3y @red1culous @iluurmom @popeheywardssecretgf @michaelangdonsslut @byhrxb @kamthecoolest @kattybug @ravenstrueluv @landryslxys

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs @gillybear17 @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713 @marzipaanz @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly

#ethan landry #ethan landry imagine #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x you #ethan landry smut #scream 6 imagines #scream 6

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sluttyminghao · 1 year ago

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Seventeen x Phone Sex

95 line - 96 line - 97 line - 98+99 line

♡ word count: 1.1k ♡ genre: smut - 18+ only ♡ a/n: here is the 96 line version! i hope you guys enjoy! shoutout to @bf-wonu and my friends at @svthub again for helping with this!

Junhui: This man would be insanely giggly every single time you suggest phone sex or have any conversation that leads up to it. He’s going to not be anywhere close to dominant, and may, in fact, become a little more submissive just because he doesn't know what way the conversation will end up going. Jun is going to be very whiny and tell you what to do, but he’s going to be edging himself for god knows how long because he’s addicted to your voice. Every single time you moan or whine out when your fingers touch your sensitive body, it sends a lightning bolt of want and need through his body and only makes him speed up his own hand movements. “You sound so pretty like this, wish it was me that was getting those noises out of you instead though.” I think he’s also the type to have like…a pillow he uses to fuck himself into or a fleshlight of some kind because he just needs to have his cock enveloped in something and hear your voice whilst simultaneously fucking into a fleshlight or a pillow? It would immediately send him over the edge. When he’s feeling dominant, however, i think he would definitely take action in telling you what to do, but would never tease you because he’s holding on for dear life with his own orgasm. He knows what you want and when you need it, so would get you to the edge super quickly.

Soonyoung: He’s definitely very impulsive when it comes to phone sex. You could be at home doing some work and all of a sudden he’s texting you like crazy and calling you a hundred times, and when you finally answer he’s heavily breathing and fucking himself up into his hand. Even though you can’t see him, you know exactly what’s happening and ask him what he’s been thinking about, only for him to retort back with some of the filthiest images either of you could think of. “Was thinking about how I tied you up the other day and your body looked so perfect and ready for me…and then also was thinking about that one time i made you cum so much you passed out” He would definitely also be the type to do video calls as well, and as soon as you pick up you know you’re in trouble when you see how he’s angled his phone just perfectly so that you can see every inch of him, and it gets you going immediately. Soonyoung is very “no thoughts just need to cum” and would be spouting orders for you left and right while he jacks himself off like he’s insane. He’d be telling you to strip for him, get your tits out and play with yourself until you’re both cumming, but he makes you wait until he’s about to cum so you can cum together. Immediately afterwards, he would send you photo proof of how much he came just so you know what you’re in for when he gets home.

Wonwoo: If there’s one thing everyone can agree on with Wonwoo, it’s that his deep voice would instantly have you cumming. He is definitely on the more dominant side when it comes to phone sex, he loves being able to guide you through with a stern voice, letting your whimpers and moans hit his ear in just the right way that his cock twitches. When he’s in the mood, you can tell because his voice drops at least an octave and grows raspy, which only lights the lust fire in your belly and drives you crazy. He would spill the filthiest phrases, telling you how bad he wants you and every single position he wants you in, as well as how much he wants to fill you up with his cum. He’s also definitely the type to play mind games with you, tell you that you can cum and then say things like “oh did I say you could cum? I didn't mean to, oops, now i guess you’ll have to make it up to me” or “if you didn’t cover your fingers then you didn’t fuck yourself hard enough”, and also loves using those toys you can connect to over wifi where he can control the vibrations and movements of said toy. He would make you cum so much with the toys that you grow so sensitive and he only draws it out even further for you, making you so sensitive to the slightest touches and vibrations have you moaning and clenching. His raspy voice wouldn't help either, especially so when he tells you he wishes your hand or mouth was wrapped around his cock rather than his own hand and he’d cum a lot, it’s splayed all over his thighs and abdomen and then also is wishing that you would be the one to clean it up for him. You’re just his good little whore, after all.

Jihoon: With Jihoon, it’s very common to have sex over the phone given his constant desire to want to be in the studio. He would probably have a schedule where he calls you like once or twice a week later at night, probably when he’s at his most frustrated when he’s producing or writing, and just lets his frustrations flow in the form of mutual masturbation. He wouldn’t be overly dominant or submissive, but rather just goes with how he’s feeling and how frustrated he is. If he’s been struggling for a while, he would probably go a little more dominant, and if he’s doing alright, he’d be pretty neutral. With how often you guys have sex over the phone, he would pretty much know exactly what to do and when, really has it down to a pinpoint on how well he knows you, down to your breathing patterns when you’re getting close to your orgasm. He would also be pretty easy to come undone as well, given that you can push his buttons hard enough. If he’s frustrated, you want to get him off in as little time as possible so that he can focus again. If he’s chill, then you can drag it out and edge him for a while until he finally snaps and switches to dominance. I think he’s not one to talk dirty often, and would only use it on the odd occasion where he’s feeling more dominant than normal. He’d be very careful with his wording but manages to speak fluently in dirty talk when he’s in the mood, calling you his good little slut and whore and getting you over the edge and getting you moaning which in turn, gets him to cum all over his thighs.

#sm: masterlist 2024 #sluttyhao smut #sluttyhao reaction #kpop smut #kpop reaction #seventeen smut #seventeen reaction #junhui smut #soonyoung smut #wonwoo smut #jihoon smut

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theresattrpgforthat · 4 months ago

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Any low improv TTRPG's? as in low on the GM part, i would like to try some and see how it compares as I'm part of the improv scary crew

THEME: Low Improv Games.

Happy holidays folks! I'm going to try and get the last recommendation posts of the year out quickly, so you might get some more rec posts in the next two weeks!

As for this one friend, I tried to mix things up across game and genre, so I hope you find something you like!

Tunnels in White, by MeatCastle GameWare.

Old money siphoning new money from every corner of your city. An aging mansion, quiet and worn. An old corporation shifting its gaze from development to development, always hungry, always growing.

A warehouse bearing the name Singleton Solutions, small and unassuming in one of a hundred industrial parks like any other, takes in truckload after truckload but never sends anything out. It’s the same for the people. Sometimes, they arrive in towncars, other times in shuttle vans. None come out. Ever.

What you know is something strange is going on inside that warehouse and you are determined to discover what it is. What you cannot know is where and how far the mystery may take you.

Tunnels in White is an adventure for Liminal Horror, a modern-day horror OSR game about normal people being subjected to terrible things. A good number of adventures and mysteries written for these games come with locations, maps, factions, enemies and consequences for you to use as needed whenever your players enter a new location or attempt something dangerous.

I’m really interested in the use of these adventures for various OSR games, as the adventures seem to be what have most of the meat, rather than the rules. If you really want these games to sing, you’ll want your players to create characters that fit the kind of adventure that you’re presenting to the table - in this case, perhaps your characters all have loved ones who have gone missing recently. Once your players have character buy-in, they won’t need much prompting to delve deeper into the mystery, and the fact that Tunnels in White doesn’t have one single “correct” solution to the main problem means that your players’ actions will mean all the more.

I think I see this module as a stepping stone towards improv in that it gives you options to choose from, rather than a singular railroad to follow. What you’ll get out of this is a location that feels logically consistent and real to the players, while the story that happens will feel organic, and heavily dependant on what the group decides to do.

You can find more modules for Liminal Horror in the Tales from the Void Liminal Horror Jam.

The Doom of Macbeth, by leozingiannoni.

Famine. Execution. Oppression. Supernatural longevity that no one seems to quite understand or question. As King Macbeth’s reign approaches its 100th year, your knights receive a revelation in a dream.

It does not have to be like that.

As an answer to prayers and cries, the god Lugh reveals to you the alternative realities that could be, if Macbeth is not allowed to move on with his coup. You wake up to 100 years in the past, before you were born. What will you do to stop this horrible future?

The Doom of Macbeth is a deep-dive into one of the most iconic plays of all time, where you fight your way to avoid a future that seems inevitable. Using the Doomsday Clock mechanic found in Arc:Doom by momatoes, you simulate the feeling of the play creeping upon your characters, and must fight against it— or towards it.

Using a narrative that is familiar to the GM and the players might be another way to enter a game without having to worry too much about improv. Even though this setting is only the size of a brochure, you and your crew can lean on your knowledge of the Scottish play to make things happen the way you want them to. In this version of the game, Macbeth succeeds in becoming a mad king, but you know that this can change, if you tweak the story.

One more thing: I think you might need Arc, by Momatoes, in order to play this game.

Kiss Me If You Can, by sdunnewold.

River is a notorious international art thief and cat burglar. Jules is a well-respected special agent in charge of art crimes. Jules is determined to find and bring River to justice. But maybe along the way… they'll kiss?

Kiss Me If You Can is a simple print and play two player cat and mouse romance game that you can play in under an hour. It features two unique decks of prompt cards, one for each character. Each turn you play a prompt card, answer its questions, maybe talk about a famous artist or painting, and get a little closer to justice and/or love.

Another two-player experience, Kiss Me If You Can feels very similar to games that are Descended from the Queen, in that the bulk of the game revolves around drawing cards and answering the prompts provided. You’ll come up with locations, personal motives, and reasons for your characters to end up getting closer to each-other, but the cards provide a lot of direction, so I don’t think I’d necessarily classify it as improv. If you want a cute romantic story about a will-they-won’t-they scenario, you might like Kiss Me If You Can.

Exalted Order of the Mystic Moose, by Jacob Marks.

The Mauvewoods. You can’t hope to see the crown of a mauvewood tree from the ground. It took a day just to climb to the top of the oldest trees. Look past the undergrowth and ghosts can be spotted on the old lumber paths. Every ghost you see used to live in a mauvewood tree. Knock on a healthy tree, and you just might hear a hollow wooden knock in answer.

This zine details a forest, a town, and a dungeon, all intended for use with the tabletop roleplaying game: Cairn. Explore a forest full of lumberjacks, maple syrup, and strange ghosts. Delve into an old mansion sinking into a marsh. Confront the Exalted Order Of The Mystic Moose.

Cairn has a few editions now: the link I’ve added to this entry is for the 2nd edition Warden’s Guide, and you can check out Yochai Gal’s creator page for both the Player’s Guide and the First Edition. This adventure has oodles of locations, three main factions, and a 20 room dungeon for your players to explore. Cairn feels like a very traditional fantasy game at its roots, but the Exalted Order of the Mystic Moose feels like like a unique take, with some flavour that feels very Boreal Forest to me.

Like many OSR adventures, this isn’t a linear adventure - instead is a series of connected locations and a broad description of things that are happening when the player group shows up. The setting has a natural conflict that is happening separately from the players’ choices or decisions, which will make the setting feel more real and important to your play.

If you want to explore more adventures for Cairn, you can check out the A Town, A Forest, A Dungeon Jam!

Totally Killer, by bloodygorgeous.

When you were kids, all the girls—and, certainly, some of the boys—wanted a Chrissy, the only fashion doll to give Barbie a run for her money. Chrissy was designed to be the woman every girl dreamed of becoming: stylish, smart, independent, and, most importantly, a total smokeshow. For a while, shelves exploded with Out of This World Astronaut Chrissies. Protect and Serve Policewoman Chrissies. ’80s prom queen Totally Killer Chrissies. Chrissy could do anything, all while her boyfriend Ben waited at home. Chrissy could have it all. Decades later, as Chrissy fever descends again on Deep Lake, a murderer stalks the night. The police have their theories, but only the Latchkeys suspect the truth: that this killer has long legs, an unstoppable smile, and a passion for fashion. Chrissy has come to life, and she’s come to slay.

Public Access is horror-mystery found-footage style game that relies on pre-written mysteries to give the table an organic approach to role-play. While typically PbtA games are considered very high in improv, I think the mystery format of these kinds of games takes a lot of weight off of the GM’s shoulders. Typically these mysteries provide a very strong starting point, introducing the table to the mystery and some key characters to look to for hints and clues. The GM is also provided with a series of clues to drop into the game where relevant - perhaps a headless doll is found where one of the victims went missing, or a mysterious silhouette lurking in the distance.

These kinds of games also typically come with some kind of track to help monitor both the progress of the latch-keys as well ask heighten the stakes to encourage the story to keep moving. In other games, I know that this track is called the mystery clock. I’m not entirely sure what Public Access uses, but the core rulebook looks to have quite a bit hidden within its pages, so I’m confident that it contains everything you need to run your first game.

You can find more mysteries for Public Access in the Degoya County Public Access Jam.

Auctōrātus, by M. Allen Hall.

You know why you are here. You are not a criminal. You are not a slave. You are an auctōrātus, a volunteer, and you will be paid well for your performance. Make sure your mech is ready. Select your components. Charge your batteries. Be prepared for the fight of your life.

Auctōrātus is a 1- or 2-gladiator game of mechs vs. monsters. The 3 files include the one-page (2-sided) rules sheet, the character sheet, and the map of the arena.

Battle monsters over six rounds to win the tournament. From the lowly Scale Wolf to the monstrous Crescent Wyvern, you will need to carefully choose your mech's components if you want to survive.

Featuring a diceless, zero-luck mechanism, Auctōrātus is an experiment in tabletop combat. Since this is a one or two-player game that focuses primarily on strategy, you might find a lot of satisfaction in simply immersing yourself in strategy. You can play the game solo and manage everything yourself, or play as two players who take turns playing the monsters in each person’s respective arenas.

A Good Plan Never Fails, by Deric Bindel.

A GOOD PLAN NEVER FALLS is a one-shot, gm-less roleplaying game for 2-5 players focused on infiltrating a TOWER and making off with THE GOODS held within. The group builds up with a tumbling block game, with each move taking everyone closer to collapse or success!

Over the course of play, everyone will create a member of the Crew from a set of Archetypes and receive a special Secret Agenda, dictating how they get their BONUS. You'll be bulding up the TOWER, dictating each obstacle and how you overcome them. When the TOWER inevitably COLLAPSES, it's time to shift from the HEIST to the GETAWAY!

A really strong feature of pulp-action genre games is that they’re typically heavily inspired by movies, like heists or cons. This means that the game has a pretty familiar structure, such as the infiltration or the getaway. You can rely on the hallmarks of these genres when playing these kinds of games to fill in the blanks, and it’s easy to figure out what happens next because the game builds each phase onto the last. In the case of this game, that means that the first part of the game, building the tower, leads into the second part, when the tower collapses.

Kill Him Faster, by Korvidae Games.

On May 8th, 2068, scientist Elisabet Rosenzweig answered the most pressing question in science fiction – “what’s the first thing you would do if you could travel through time?” - by killing Hitler. It took her precisely 5 years, 137 days, eight hours, and 12 seconds.

Fifteen years later killing Hitler is the hottest sport on the planet. The record stands at two weeks.

Competitive games are another great structure for play groups that want to build on something without needing a lot of heavy improv. In Kill Him Faster, the game is divided into three phases: pregame, game, and post-game, each composed of press conferences, the competitive portion, and interviews. There’s various additional phases for a longer game, including Trade Day (where athletes swap teams) and off-season vignettes, which allow you to slow down and focus on individual characters.

If you want a taste of the game before you buy, you can get the rules preview here.

Other Notes

A Complicated Profession by Always Checkers Publishing has a lot of guiding questions and a very structured order of play, and follows reformed bounty hunters running a cruise ship.

Tournament Arc, by Biscuit Fund Games, focuses on sports competitions, which may provide a structure that is easy to follow, as well as a more collaborative experience.

If you like what I do and you'd like to send me a token of your appreciation, I have a Ko-Fi page!

#low improv #tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #game recommendations #dnd #asks #indie ttrpg

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fanfic-lover-girl · 2 months ago

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The reasoning for Hermes' absence in Luke's life is not adding up

So Hermes says he can't interfere in Luke's life due to the Ancient Laws (are these laws ever clarified somewhere??):

"Luke, I care very much," Hermes said slowly, "but gods must not interfere directly in mortal affairs. It is one of our Ancient Laws. Especially when your destiny . . ."

And we know Hermes loves Luke. Luke is described by Poseidon and Hermes himself as a favoured child. Plus Hermes is really distraught by everything going on with Luke:

His voice broke, and he shrank back to human size. "My son, my greatest pride . . . my poor May . . ." He sounded so devastated I didn't know what to say. One minute he was ready to vaporize us. Now he looked like he needed a hug.

We do see Hermes try to "help" his son by giving him that quest and asking Percy to talk to Luke. Not sure what Hermes was expecting from Percy speaking to his son. It would have made more sense for Hermes to ask Annabeth to do so. But anyway...too little too late either way.

I was reading Titan's Curse and there are multiple actions taken by the gods in that book that directly contradict what Hermes is saying or at the very least could have provided a loophole for Hermes to help Luke in some fashion earlier in life.

Let me go over one by one:

1) Gods can interfere if it relates to their domain (Artemis)

The monster wailed. "This is not fair! Direct interference! It is against the Ancient Laws." "Not so," another girl said. This one was a little younger than me, maybe twelve or thirteen. She had auburn hair gathered back in a ponytail and strange eyes, silvery yellow like the moon. Her face was so beautiful it made me catch my breath, but her expression was stern and dangerous. "The hunting of all wild beasts is within my sphere. And you, foul creature, are a wild beast." She looked at the older girl with the circlet. "Zoe, permission granted."

By this logic, Hermes should be able to interfere if Luke is actively participating in his domain. As a runaway kid, Luke comfortably would be under his jurisdiction as god of travellers or god of thieves/tricks. When Luke was on the Princess Andromeda, a mode of transport, Hermes should have been able to intervene here too. Even if Poseidon could not due to other sea deities.

2) Gods can interfere through prayer (Poseidon, Zeus)

"The blessing of the Wild," Grover said. "That should help with safe passage. Percy, pray to your dad, too. See if he will grant us safe passage through the seas."

"Thalia," I said. "Pray to your dad." She glared at me. "He never answers." "Just this once," I pleaded. "Ask for help. I think… I think the statues can give us some luck."

In Poseidon's case, Percy also needed to make a sacrifice. For Zeus' case, Thalia's life was in danger. Those are some important caveats.

Now Hermes does claim that he answers Luke's prayers:

Hermes readjusted the mailbag on his shoulder. “Percy, the hardest part about being a god is that you must often act indirectly, especially when it comes to your own children. If we were to intervene every time our children had a problem … well, that would only create more problems and more resentment. But I believe if you give it some thought, you will see that Poseidon has been paying attention to you. He has answered your prayers. I can only hope that some day, Luke may realize the same about me...”

Will talk about this at the end...

3) Gods can interfere if you straight up ask (Dionysus)

"You could ask for help," Mr. D murmured to me, as if this were an amusing thought. "You could say please."

Bro, Percy was straight-up disrespectful from start to finish. AND STILL! Mr. D helped after one pathetic, low-effort "please"! COME ON!!! What are we even doing here!?

4) Gods can interfere if they feel like it (Apollo, Ares/Aphrodite)

He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred." "A god named Fred?" "Eh, well… Zeus insists on certain rules. Hands off, when there's a human quest. Even when something really major is wrong. But nobody messes with my baby sister. Nobody." "Can you help us, then?" "Shhh. I already have. Haven't you been looking outside?"

She made a tsk-tsk sound. "Percy, I'm on your side. I'm the reason you're here, after all." I stared at her. "What?" "The poisoned T-shirt the Stoll brothers gave Phoebe," she said. "Did you think that was an accident? Sending Blackjack to find you? Helping you sneak out of the camp?" "You did that?" "Of course! Because really, how boring these Hunters are! A quest for some monster, blah blah blah. Saving Artemis. Let her stay lost, I say. But a quest for true love—"

At least Apollo's motivation was out of love for his twin. Aphrodite's motivation was so shallow it's embarrassing. No wonder her cabin is such a disgrace.

I'm only looking at book 3 but Hera is a notable mention from book 4 and the sequel series as well.

Now let me mull over Hermes answering Luke's prayers -

With how bitter Luke has been towards Hermes, I doubt he was still praying to his father after his failed quest when Kronos began whispering to him. And that's being generous. I bet Luke stopped praying to his dad after he met him the first time.

But we know Luke prayed and asked Hermes for help as a kid:

"Why show yourself now?" Luke demanded. His shoulders were tense, as if he expected a fight. "All these years I've been calling to you, praying you'd show up, and nothing. You left me with her."

My problem here is that we see absolutely no evidence of Hermes ever helping Luke. I bet Hermes was probably guiding Luke subtly while he was on the run but that's up to speculation because I never saw any hints from the Diary of Luke Castellan. There were at least two moments where it could have been clear that Hermes was helping Luke:

How had I known to search for it? Perhaps my dad, Hermes, the jack-of-al-trades god, was guiding me, since he’s got a way with potions and alchemy. Perhaps I’d seen the recipe somewhere before, and searching the apartment had triggered that memory.

I tried to focus on my work. I didn’t realy know what I was doing, but I had no choice. Maybe Hermes was watching out for me, lending me some of his alchemy know-how. Or maybe I just got lucky.

I just wish the signs were a lot clearer in these scenes. We don't know if Luke truly got lucky - we don't attribute Percy's wild ideas and feats to Poseidon, do we? - or Hermes was nudging him. Could be both for all we know but Hermes never brings this moment up.

What prayers exactly had Hermes been answering? We'll never know!

I just think Luke got the short end of the stick. Sometimes I don't know whether Hermes' actions - or lack of - should be attributed to tragedy or Rick's bad writing. How can Hermes see the other gods interfering every other second and truly believe he can't do the same?

Luke baby, you deserved so much better.

#pjo hermes #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo poseidon #pjo zeus #pjo artemis #pjo apollo #pjo aphrodite #pjo ancient laws #anti rick riordan #luke castellan #luke castellan deserved better #pjo ramble #titan's curse #diary of luke castellan #pjo critical #pjo dionysus

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cultkinkcoven · 5 months ago

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I’ve tried to make this post like 5 times now.

I had a very intense ritual session with Lucifer yesterday where I asked him a bunch of questions about his mythology

I was looking for the answers to a couple questions:

1. Is Lucifer the angel of the rebellion?

We know Lucifer is the Roman God of Enlightenment, Attar, the Ugaritic God who rose and fell after trying to take the throne of Baal, Ishtar/Inanna the Goddess who rose to Heaven and fell to the Underworld, Venus, The morning star, Eosphoros, Hesperus, Aphrodite etc. We know that the angel of the rebellion is sometimes referred to as a Lucifer due to his description of Helel Ben Shahar, and we know that Helel, like Attar, was the name of a splenderous deity who rose and fell. The angel of the rebellion is called Satan, the adversary, and he is sometimes believed to be a separate entity than the Lucifer, perhaps Sammael.

2. If Lucifer is the angel of the rebellion, why did he rebel?

Was it really just pride?

3. When did Lucifer rebel, according to the myths?

4. Why did 1/3 of Heaven’s angels follow him?

The Christian cannon states that a whole third of Heaven fell with Lucifer. Angels of all kinds. Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Powers, Virtues, Principalities, Archangels and Guardian Angels. Angels of creation. Angels who stood around God’s throne. These were angels, incredibly intelligent, near omnipotent angels. Angels who knew good and well the implications of this action. Angels who were made by God. The holiest hosts of Heaven created for the soul purpose of serving God, somehow, a whole third of them chose Lucifer.

When I confronted him with all these questions, his answers hit me like atom bombs. They completely shattered my understanding of things, and I’m not even entirely sure I know how to explain it.

He started saying: “Your questions are born of a lot of assumptions. For one, you assume that all angels have the same level of autonomy, that a so called Throne will think like a so called Power. You also assume that before the fall, any angel had the ability to choose sin. You make the bold assumption that “Heaven”, the dwelling place of angels, was a place, rather than a state of things ”

These ideas warped my brain a little bit.

Okay, so not all angels had the same level of autonomy, and before the fall, they didn’t have the option to choose. Heaven is not a place, but a state of things. What does that mean? And what changed?

“What is a Lucifer?”

A light bringer, an illuminator found in the deepest darkness of the void.

Then I had a very intense vision, that seemed to be his retelling of the Christian story of creation, the 7 days, which he explained were not “days” but eras. At first there was that vast ocean of darkness. He called this Chaos. In this retelling, Chaos was the primordial Heaven. A place of originality, and it was the place where all angels and spirits dwelt infinitely. However at this point there was no concept of awareness, nothing to be aware of. And all consciousnesses may have been uniform, including that of the big GOD. This primordial water is what they would call mother.

Then, of course, there was Light. God wanted there to be something, assumably, because he was sick of drifting endlessly through nothing. This is the first separation, the emergence of the physical. In this creation, God’s angels suddenly had purpose, work to do. But still, there was nothing to be chosen. They were functions without persona.

Lucifer told me to be aware that no single retelling is totally correct. For instance, this concept that these primordial spirits were subordinate to God- following Gods orders- rather than extensions of God, projections of Gods light bouncing off of the physical and creating “colors” or shapes. Angles and angels.

He then asked me again, what is a Lucifer?

At this point God (or Gods, depending on if you view it as one or many) has created the land, the Earth, and by extension and fundamental contrast, our understanding of the Heavens. These things only exist conceptually in contrast to each other. There is no Light without Darkness.

However even then, even among the angels, there is still no sense of awareness. No choices.

God creates many beasts and creatures of many kinds. Lucifer tells me he watched these creatures evolve and make a home out of the planet they were born on. These were instinctual animals, like the angels themselves. And in this instinct, in this unawareness, they were bliss, as they could not know the opposite. Of course, there was pain and suffering, but all these were considered Good, as God is Good, and He is the only one capable of experiencing. This pain is only sensation, not emotion, not spirit.

Then emerges the champion of evolution itself. The one who will inherit the Earth.

“I watched as you emerged from the waters and grew up on the land. Then there were your five fingers, with which you began to to touch the Earth and mold it. You began to learn at an exponential rate. Somewhere along the line of evolution you, homosapien, were favoured among the rest.”

There were many of these apes roaming the Earth. There were other species of sapiens alongside us, fighting for the status of dominance. But of course, you know how the story goes. Humans emerged victorious.

On the 6th day it is said that God created man. They called him Adam. The first man with a name, and assumably, the first fully human being.

again, I’m having a really hard time explaining this because it was all super abstract. Lucifer expressed that this first human fundamentally changed the nature of the world when he first truly opened his eyes. Mankind was, like all things, in a deep slumber. All creatures were in the uniform sleep of oblivion until that first man woke up.

and then he knew what God had said to him.

“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

In man something had happened that had never occurred before, at least not here. The match of Godhood was struck on the other side of the vail, the physical world. For the first time ever, there was a living creature that was self aware, aware like God. Capable of expanding upon his creation, of destroying it. Of choosing.

Inside the mind of man is an entire universe. Man has the ability to destroy the entire universe, to mold the world and change it in his ideal. He has the infinite power to destroy or create within this universe. And when this light is gone, as far as we know, everything is gone. In essence, every person is the God of their own reality. Then I think back to this concept of primordial waters, darkness, sleep. Heaven.

“Remember that all things, all energy, all possibilities, emerged from those primordial waters. And these waters, separated from the Light, were still in existence. Outside of time and space. Outside of physicality. Gods creation was perfect and complete when man awoke. But in his awakening, the world became a seed. A vessel of infinite possibilities and potential and yet still perfect. Through the emergence of this thing called a mind, man suddenly had connection with these dark waters. He had simultaneously created time and the ability to subvert it.”

Why did Lucifer fall from Heaven?

Lucifer fell from Heaven like a bolt of lightning. A strike of intense energy.

The story says pride. But maybe perhaps they meant ego.

Lucifer is the God of Desire. I have always found it so interesting that so many personifications of Venus, and specifically the morning star, have so many associations with the Underworld or Hell, a place that is not his original home but where he takes leadership.

Suddenly in man was the potential for all these concepts which would never have been possible before. Man had the intelligence and sentience to experience divine love, pain, pleasure. Because he was born without understanding, he had the infinite potential to learn all of the secrets of his reality. And he was learning quickly.

I think about this quote from Asenath Mason

The only way I can put it into words is like this, loosely speaking.

What is Hell?

Traditional Christians will tell you that Hell is separation from God. In awakening, I think that man was separated from God, and God was separated from God.

lmao idk if any of this makes any sense

If Lucifer was an “angel” or God in Heaven, that means that he was a part of the Primordial Godhood that existed before all of “creation”. That potential energy.

Within the world that the Gods had created, perhaps he existed in form that was compatible with it. In the same way perhaps that elements work. Stable elements within the environment that permits them can exist. Combinations of electrons that are unstable cannot reasonably exist under the conditions of our universe.

The existence of even the concept of corrupt corporate greed for example, could not have existed in a world without humans, without capitalism, without money, without numbers.

But suddenly, there was potential for it. There was potential for the grand equalizers of humanity, desire, and persona, and then individuality. Ego. Why is Venus the God of Gender? Gender is an extension of persona, gender expression is a conversation with oneself. A way we understand each other and ourselves.

Humanity now had a bridge to things that had not yet been in the world. But at the time, only potential.

If the waters exist outside of time, were these primordial spirits omnipotent? Could they perhaps see and know of this potential before the world had even been created? What would angels be gossiping about in a primordial sea of nothing?

Perhaps, everything.

What is God but a light? and what is an angel but that light bouncing off of creation, reflecting a principle?

Perhaps Lucifer is divine light reflecting off of that potential in the world, in the mind of man. A different kind of light than what was in the creation.

Perhaps he did not envy humanity’s ability to choose, or Gods love for us. Perhaps he was the energy that was humanity’s ability to choose.

an inevitability of the separation from the deep sleep to the consciousness.

This is all obviously just my crazy rambling and my personal upg.

In my conversations with both Lucifer, Archangel Jophiel and other spirits, there has been a common attitude of, yes, a divide happened. But it wasn’t exactly a war. They describe it more like the way we describe politics. Or even just natural functions. There is no resentment between them, but there is a distinction.

Why would a whole third of Heavens angels fall with Lucifer? What could he possibly have said??? to make Gods angels sacrifice their unity with God?

Maybe he didn’t have to say much.

God created for the exact same reason man creates. Boredom.

What is the signifier of a conscious being? Boredom. In my mind, you’re not truly conscious or aware unless you can be bored. Unless you can experience a lack of stimulation. An AI doesn’t get bored after 20 minutes. It’s not alive, it’s not on standby getting annoyed that you’re not stimulating it. It has no experience.

In the endless waters, in the eternal sleep, and suddenly for the first time, there was the potential for that light to mingle with creation, create.

Liberation of the self is what makes you a God. Experience is kind of like God interacting with itself and its own creation. Maybe the thing that made those angels fall was the desire to be experienced.

and who better fitting to bring it into the world but the keeper of the hidden gnosis? He who represented divine light in the original creation, perhaps now in the mind of man represents the potential for the inner light. The light that makes the infinite potential of all of these sleeping Gods possible?

All throughout Lucifer and Lucifer like deities I see this image of the forbidden fruit. It’s not just him, the fruit is everywhere. Most famously when he tempts Eve to eat it.

This was the catalyst for the history of the entire world, the introduction of sin. With the potential to know good there was also the potential to know bad. I think it’s there in the Garden, because it’s access to the divine itself.

People so often ask why God would allow Lucifer into Eden, why the fruit was even there.

When did Lucifer fall?

On the 7th day God rested from all of his work.

Many of the myths about the pre biblical God of the Morning Star say that he was attempting to take the throne of a God while he had been temporarily away. The Lucifer tries, decides he’s inadequate, and falls to the underworld.

This new realm, this abyss, this inner God, cannot exist without the macro God. As much as you are the God of your own universe, you are also within the universe, with other people, and thus, other Gods, other universes.

Lucifer is not the God of the macrocosm. His Light is a different kind then the Light of that God. A God that was true enough to inspire angels. But he cannot replace that God.

When he falls and establishes his Pandemonium, it is in Hell, in the separation. The mind of man, which truly is capable of making the most terrible and wonderful things happen. That’s why he is A God of Hell. All of these spirits are only possible in this separation. In man.

One thing that hit me like an atom bomb was this concept of “evil”.

The natural law is not good as we commonly understand it. Babies get brain cancer. People are born without organs, disease wipes out entire species. There is an indiscriminate horror to the world, and that is why life is so fragile.

But the horrors of man are different. They aren’t natural acts of divine law. We are capable of the most horrific things imaginable, and have done them. We are a species, assumably the only species, that hates. That tortures and defiles for pleasure. The only one that can destroy the entire Earth in an instant.

Lucifer is the God of knowledge and liberation. I very much believe that he does not harbour any resentment or hatred towards humanity or that God. But he demands the right to exist. He demands that man have the potential to remember that he is a God, and the infinite creation and destruction that comes with it. Lucifer is pro enlightenment and education, even when it leads to destruction. It’s the natural consequence, perhaps the sacrifice.

Lucifer did not create the atom bomb or the gun, but his spirits of war and artillery mingled with man and created weapons. That’s why the God of Hell is also the champion of humanity. The one who constantly cheers for our liberation.

To create suffering and evil?

To create. To partake in the act of creation and destruction, like us. Like God.

Different traditions state that the trees of life and death are constantly seeking to destroy each other. Maybe it’s less that they want to destroy each other, and more like they have a cosmic attraction, always within each other’s pull and wanting to collapse back together, only staying separate by the mind of man, of life.

When your awareness is gone, perhaps you return to that uniform sleep of God, perhaps that’s when Heaven and Hell finally become one again, this time with the infinite experience of knowing itself fully. Satisfied.

Or maybe I smoke too much weed lol idk

I’m so sorry if this post makes absolutely no fucking sense. Im trying to scramble this all together before I forget. Pls tell me if this makes sense to u

#luciferian witch #luciferism #luciferian #lucifer #lucifer devotee #theistic luciferianism #lucifer deity #lord lucifer #gnosis #upg #pagan #paganism #witchcraft #demonology #demonolatry #occultism #occult #grimoire #thoughts

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