#one day maybe i can make a giant comparison list

[skitskatdacat63]

Re prev reblog. Why are there genuinely so many parallels btwn Seb and Fernando. Ik I am a delusional shipper but god, they're seriously so alike it's insane to me 😭😭 I need to make a comparison post between them inspecting cars cause it's literally the exact same!!!! Imagine them as teammates, standing around like old men, hands clasped behind their back, observing the car, discussing the legality of it. Imagine.

^ sobbing crying

[blainesebastian]

last two people on earth

words: 1,506 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (anon request): Could you write a little blurb with Austin and reader on the beach? Maybe on holiday or just a day off after a long time, whatever you want notes: while I tend to lean towards snow myself, this was fun :)  warnings: none tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylesmendeshearted

One of the best things you and Austin decided to do was rent a beach house for a month after the filming of Elvis. He still had multiple obligations of course, interviews, events, the busyness that comes after shooting a film. Considering all of that, it spoke to an even greater reason about why a small break was well deserved. You weren’t able to completely disappear, or anything, but the sensation of your toes curling into the sand that first morning when you woke up with the ocean spread out before you? An unmatched feeling.

You have to admit you’ve always been an East Coast girl—you enjoy escape that involve winter scenes. Your ideal kind of vacation consists of a chic cabin in the middle of the woods or mountains, lots of snow, curling up in an oversized sweater in front of the fire with a giant cup of coffee. Admittedly though, this isn’t terrible in comparison. The beach house sits right along the water, a handful of tall windows to spread out the view to you, even from inside. There’s a large deck with a heated pool and your favorite spot is this nook with a swing bench right outside the kitchen doorway where you can stick your feet in the sand and smell the water. It’s especially beautiful when the sun starts to go down, the sky kissed pink, the water a slight hue of purple, the breeze warm and incredibly inviting.

Dangerous, almost, to feel so comfortable within a place—you’re not going to want to leave and go back to reality.

The beautiful view wouldn’t be complete of course without Austin, who’s been wearing a variety of shorts since he got here and practically open button-down short-sleeve shirts. His hair is back to its natural shade, dirty blonde curls that sit wildly near his forehead, perfect to run your fingers through, which you often do. His skin is slightly sun kissed already, rosy along his cheekbones and shoulders, highlighting the freckles there that are definitely kissable.

A week in and you’re constructing wild ideas in your head about how you can extend your stay…even though you’ve got a decent amount of time left to enjoy. You have to admit it’s selfish, wanting to stay here, have Austin to yourself, not having to worry yourself with obligations, distance, the pressure of everything expected. You try to remember that’s part of the reason you’re able to do something like this with your boyfriend—the gift that both of your careers have given you. Not many other people are so lucky.

Smiling a little as you lay on your beach towel, watching Austin come out of the water and make his way towards you, you set a book down that you’re attempting to read but your attention is waning.

Lucky is definitely a good word to use.

“You gonna get in the water or am I gonna have to carry you?” Austin asks, running his hand through his hair to get it out of his face.

You smile a little, shaking your head, “Don’t you dare.”

A soft, amused eyeroll before he adjusts the towel next to you and sits down. Letting out a soft hum, you sit up as well and let your sheer cover up slip from your shoulders, moving to pull your hair up into a higher bun. You can’t quite keep your eyes off of Austin next to you, the way the sun shimmers against his wet skin, water droplets cascading down over muscle. He picks up another towel and dries his face, reaching for the sunglasses sticking out of your beach bag to put on,

“You’re starin’.” He teases.

You grin, not ashamed in the slightest, “I like what I see.”

There’s an amused eyeroll from him, you notice it even though he’s got shades on, shaking his head as he takes a look out at the water. The beach isn’t private, exactly, but this is a typical place for other celebrities to rent out beach houses with friends, family and significant others when they don’t want to be bothered. It’s got a feeling of being remote that you like, almost as if—

“Sometimes it kinda feels like we’re the last people on earth here.” You say, reaching for your bottle of water to take a sip. Maybe that sounds a bit ridiculous or corny—you’ve definitely seen a lot of movies that lean towards science fiction. But it almost seems like that, being here with him, sometimes uninterrupted for days at a time without seeing anyone else on the stretch of beach of the houses to rent around them.

“I feel like this is not where you’d want to go if that were the case,” Austin reaches into the beach bag to tug out a bottle of sunscreen. “You and your remote cabins surrounded by snow.”

You laugh, scrunching your nose at him, “Hey, don’t knock it.”

Austin licks his lips, leaning in to steal a kiss from you. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Then pecks your lips a few more times, mostly to make you giggle.

When he pulls back, you think he’s going to offer to put sunscreen on you but then he kinda gets this look on his face in which you…know he’s suddenly up to no good.

“What are you—” You barely get the words out before Austin is standing and in one swoop he’s scooping you up into his arms, “Austin!” There’s some squirming as he moves quickly towards the ocean—both of you know that you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

A sharp laugh tumbles out of your throat as you hold onto your boyfriend tightly, nearly burying your facing in his shoulder as the cold water envelopes you both.

Definitely nowhere else you’d rather be.

--

Letting out a slightly dramatic sigh, you lean against the arm of the couch that’s placed on the deck near the pool. The sun is dipping low, the humidity winding down with the heat of the day, dissipating. It’s pleasant outside, perfect for a tall glass of mint iced tea and—

“Ow,” You frown, looking over your shoulder as Austin settles down behind you.

“I haven’t even touched you yet,” He smiles a little, amusement pulling at the corners of his mouth.

And apparently sunburn.

“Well it already hurts,” You pout and Austin shakes his head, leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips.

He rolls the aloe bottle between his hands to warm it up before squeezing some of it out onto his palms. Moving your hair to the side, he gently puts his hands on your back and begins to massage it in circles into your skin. A soft sigh leaves your lips and you close your eyes, wincing every so often as Austin’s thumbs brush over a sensitive spot.

“Told you that you needed more sunscreen.” Austin says but his voice is slightly teasing.

“Oh right—that was a big concern of yours as you were dragging me into the ocean.”

“I was applying sunscreen all day—you were pouting about it.” He smiles, working his hands down your arms, “I didn’t get burnt.”

Rolling your eyes, you slowly pull the straps of your tank top back up over your shoulders. Definitely hurts but…you suppose it could always be worse. Turning a little to look at your boyfriend, you stick your tongue out at him,

“It’s unsurprising that the universe just works out in your favor.”

Austin snorts, putting the cap back on the aloe and sets it aside, leaning against the other end of the couch. You do your best to get comfortable on the cushions without aggravating your skin, shifting until Austin has spread his legs out on the couch and you settle between them. You lie on your stomach, your back a lot worse than your front, and press your nose and lips into the soft fabric of his shirt near his collarbone.

He leans down and presses a kiss into your hair, his hands gentle as he rubs your back, an absent motion as he looks out into the ocean.

“Kinda crazy to think how much we’ll be swept back up the minute we leave here.”

You hum lightly, understanding what he’s saying. Not that your lives aren’t chaotic in a good way given your work but…this peaceful relaxation is easy to get used to and it’s going to be effortless to miss.

“We can always come back, right?” You ask and it sounds more like a promise—that when things start to get too hectic, when they feel themselves slipping away into that very same chaos…they’ll figure out how to make time for this. For eachother.

Austin smiles a little and nods, leaning down to brush your noses together in a bunny kiss. “Last two people on earth.” He coins, curling your hair behind your ear.

You smirk, pushing yourself up a little to capture his lips in a kiss.

Not a quite terrible thought.

[tblsomedoodles]

What's Raphies reaction to Raph being so big? He probably knew he was gonna be fairly sizeable considering Dee kept insisting the biggest plush is Red and the fact th3 plush is a snapper but he probably didn't expect a full 6" alligator snapping turtle who isn't even done growing. Especially considering Raphaels are traditionally shorter

He feels very short in comparison lol : )

Thank you!

Most likely. It's usually pretty obvious how clingy those two can be, particularly after the Krang. (occasionally following each other around the lair, glances to make sure the other didn't disappear, if they're in different rooms they're chirping to each other ever 15-20 minutes to make sure they're still there. stuff like that.) They know there's some sort of thing there, but it isn't until Leon's separation anxiety panic attack that they realize how serious that is. id imagine the entire time they were separated during that, Dee was anxious and twitchy himself. Not panic attack levels but certainly uncomfortable being separated like that.

I could also see it showing itself more if Bishop actually manages to grab Leon. Raphie would probably have to physically sit Dee down to get him to calm down, because he is so high strung that all he's doing is coming up with lists of things that need to be done to get Leon but isn't thinking clearly enough to even figure out which step comes first.

Thank you!

Yup, they're clinging to each other in equal amounts lol.

Thank you!

Raphie running into Don's lab with four bitty baby turtles in his hands like

"Don! help! They're smol! Why are they Smol!?!"

(i also have the image of Bitty Dee screeching every time someone tries to take him away from Raphie. lol)

THank you!

I had tried to draw this for like 3 days straight, and it just wasn't working lol

But that would be hilarious. Like Bishop's just like "hah! I got the other turtle instead! Red eared sliders are pretty calm in comparison-" gets bit. "NOT AGAIN!"

bonus: few weeks later after deciding to try again with one of the rumored other two. Bishop ends up face to face with Rise Raph. Decides that maybe he doesn't need a teenage turtle to kidnap b.c he'd rather keep his arms where they are rather than risk a GIANT SNAPPING TURTLE biting them off!

Thank you!

[wirewitchviolet]

Grifters Gonna Grift, “AI” Edition

Can I just start off here with a quick expectations vs. reality comparison we can chuckle at? Here’s a quote from a director I’ll be cool and not embarrass about where “AI” will be in a couple years:

And here’s a couple choice bits from when I was watching someone make a valiant effort at streaming the new “AI driven” Portopia remake Square-Enix is pushing:

My favorite though is this wonderful stretch of the streamer desperately repeating “ask about Hirata” and the increasingly amazing guesses popping in the chat log.

More serious talk under the fold, like I do...

So... the very first thing I, much like anyone else with both a conscience and a clue, need to say when getting into this is that the reason you see so much talk these days about “AI” and how amazing it is have absolutely nothing to do with any new developments in AI research, and absolutely everything to do with a whole bunch of techbros being stuck holding the bag after the pile of naked pyramid schemes that were the NFT grift well and truly fell completely apart, and they need a new grift to move on to, ideally one where they can use the giant server farms they all set up for crypto crap to still be usable for something. And of course the second thing I’m morally obligated to say is that “AI,” as these con artists talk about it, flat out does not exist. We’re not “almost there,” it’s not “around the corner,” there haven’t been “exciting breakthroughs.” It is a complete outright lie a whole lot of people are telling to a whole lot of other people to con them into investing heavily into some combination of vaporware and parlor tricks, and also to throw off people who might otherwise look at the things they are actually doing and see all the really blatantly illegal stuff they’re doing.

Having gotten that out of the way, it’s also worth explaining that what people are actually talking about when they talk about “AI” is really search engines, for the most part. Like, if I want to read maybe 5 paragraphs about oh, I don’t know, Big Slammu from Street Sharks, I can just open up literally any search engine, type really probably any string of words that contains word “slammu” really, and get a sloppily written wiki page with maybe 5 paragraphs of random facts like his pre-gene slamming name being Coop Bolton, early revisions having his name be the far less memorable Boomer, and him having a friend called Moby Lick. Which... OK I wasn’t expecting my randomly chosen example to go down that sort of road.

Anyway, I could also have one of these overhyped “AI” things tell me about Big Slammu, and most likely get literally this same exact wiki entry. Because yeah, that’s all that’s happening there. It’s grabbing keywords from my input string, looking them up in a database, finding an entry that best fits my string in terms of my terms showing up in it a lot, and printing it out at me. The only difference really is the latter is put together by someone trying to con me into thinking I’m talking to some sort of Real Life Computer Guy who just knows all this naturally as someone who watched the show and has well-articulated thoughts to share on it, and we’re maybe going to play up that fiction by stripping out any headers in the webpage we’re just grabbing and other bits that aren’t the core article content.

None of this is hard to do or novel. If you’re old enough to remember card catalog terminals in libraries, those were doing the exact same thing, except they just pointed you at a book rather than print the contents because storage on computers was at a premium back when they were made. Oh and when you see people talk about giving “AIs” more “training data” that’s literally just adding more to the database it’s searching, or more likely, widening the list of websites it’s searching with preexisting search tools.

“AI art” to be clear is the same thing. Get every art site you can get your hands on that has a tagging system, scrape every image and the tags on it, and then when someone asks for like, “brown hair anime girl hot giant boobs huge boobs enormous boobs” you just rifle through the pile of stolen art for something that comes as close as possible to covering all that text with tags and ideally not having any other tags, and forking it over. Which again, also works if you just do that with a search engine, and always has. But again, since we’re trying to sell people on the lie that some little magical computer boy like Data from Star Trek speed painted you a painting on the spot, we make some effort to hide the fact that we’re just stealing somebody’s art by stealing art from several different people, pasting bits over onto the main image we’re stealing, and wiping over the seams with like the photoshop blend tool or whatever a little to hopefully make it less obvious.

Now to me the part of that that’s basically computer magic is how we just have software tools to blend two images together to make them look like it was originally just one image, but, that part’s been a thing for several decades. Mostly it impresses me because art programs are prohibitively expensive to the point that I personally am to this day using something with all the functionality of Aldus Super Paint on the Apple ][. There IS some actual sophisticated code involved in instructing the program how to identify a hand so that it can paste the hand from one stolen image over the hand from another (and the iffy results from that are why you so routinely get extra fingers with this stuff- some of those were part of the original image, before we pasted another over that wasn’t in quite the same pose). We don’t have an actual Little Gear-Filled Brain Chum who lives in the computer we can explain these things to, so people just have to work out how like if you look at the raw image data and see darker RGB values in a line of pixels or in a circular pattern or some such, that’s probably the outline of a finger, so cut around that.

The best visual aid I can give to explain how this works is this spectacular failure of “AI art” that... I’m not sure I can just paste in under Tumblr’s current rules? Here’s a discussion of it on another site. Anyway if you just open that up, and use your hand or a piece of paper to block out everything from the belly button up, then again from just below the belly button down, you can kinda get a handle on what actually happens here. Presumably the rule this particular “AI” was using to paste pictures together was “find darker pixels than their surroundings in a pattern where one line branches off another at a 30 degree angle or so” which yeah, if you’re looking exclusively at a pile of stolen images of big boob anime waifus is most likely only going to appear in the cleavage. Here though, whoopsie, one of the images we grabbed out of the pile has lines intersecting like that in the crotch. So, that became the paste guide, and we get our wonderful little game of Exquisite Corpse. A human couldn’t make this error. Some sort of actual AI capable of comprehending a request to draw something and using its astounding reasoning to paint an original work (which, again, is straight up not a thing to exist) would also never do this, it’d be starting from a basic anatomical understanding as that’d be the easiest starting point. This only happens because we’re stitching stolen works together based on whatever small part of them matches up well enough to hide with the smear tool.

All that out of the way, if I might cycle back to that failure of a Portopia remake, because everyone in the “AI” scene is either a hustler or a mark, everyone ends up convinced that these “AI” projects can only be improved by giving them more “training” data. If you know it’s a scam, widening the pool of sources you’re stealing from makes it harder for people to notice (especially if you can grab files that aren’t publicly searchable, something people openly admit they’re working on), and if you buy into the hype, then yeah every trashy work of science fiction agrees the more books the amazing computer man speed reads, the more he comprehends our language and customs. In practice though, it just kinda... clutters things up with useless garbage.

Portopia is a very very old, very very simple adventure game. You have like, six or so each of verbs, locations, named NPCs, and something like four items. If you wanted to make a remake that went off speech to text to parser commands, you could probably get it to behave pretty well if it was designed only to listen for and distinguish that handful of relevant terms. But no, this sucker was given the widest possible corpus of “training data,” so even standing in an interview room where there’s literally no valid options to the player than leaving or asking an NPC questions about a very short list of subjects, like say, this other NPC named Kawamura, it’s considering that we might be making plans to get together the next day, or see what people have to say about California.

Probably bloats the game and the processor load by a ton too, or has it communicating with a fully unnecessary server. I’m told at launch, this was way more ambitious, and the idea was to include “AI” primarily so you could just use natural language to pick your assistant’s brain on whatever subject came to mind, not as an explicit hint system, but getting opinions or fun facts about anything you were unclear on from a neutral source. Which... yeah, that kind of “AI” does not exist. You ask “where does Hirata live?” and you’re going to find out about an MMA fighter’s gym or maybe learn some fun facts about the game Sekiro. So they just kinda dummied out everything that’d actually make the game novel for reasons of embarrassment and legality, and we’re just left with this speech to text program that doesn’t recognize the names of the characters, attached to a text parser that... can’t handle the fact it has more than one port as a location. You know what didn’t have this sort of problem? Zork. In 1981.

It also has problems with context. Like, ask a character something they don’t have a response to, and they can just be suddenly replaced by whichever character does have a response to that, because hey, that’s in the list of legal responses, right?

Anyway, when everyone gets on the same page on the emperor having no clothes here, can we please all promise to keep our eyes on the grifters as they look for the next scam and remember these were the same people breathlessly trying to convince people that slight palette swaps of a badly drawn monkey were all unique irreplicable works of special art worth millions of dollars, and just skip to the part where the new obvious scam gets called out?

[queenoffishingandcookies]

Since my brain apparently does what it wants, Nocturne has checkerboard-style jumpsuit and/or a checkerboard jacket with black sleeves. The outfit depends on the mood she’s in (or, you know, the temperature).

…if you look close enough on Nocturne’s body, you can see the lines where I had originally planned for the skirt to be a pair of shorts. Assume she’s wearing them under said skirt.

Though, she could probably wear both at the same time? Throw on the jumpsuit, then put the jacket and skirt overtop. Probably be somewhere cold, or maybe it would be pretty late at night, and cold because of that.

Probably would wear leggings or tall boots either way. Have to the protect the skin and those knees with all the running through forests and dungeons and warping through the air and getting smacked to the ground by enemies, after all.

Between the jumpsuit/checkboard outfits - the weird sun with wriggling rays of light - this is (or was) supposed to be the pendant on Noct’s necklace. A moon and stars for Lunafreya, a sun and (tinier, since the sun is a star) stars for Nocturne, basically. They match!

Her hair wasn’t supposed to be so big and poofy. If I were to dry and redraw it, I’d probably try and make it a little less big in comparison to the rest of her skull and body, but I think I did nicely overall?

Nocturne can alternatively have long or short hair for me. Either way, she’d look hot - short hair is feminine and all that, but so is short hair? Pixie cuts, bob cuts, the list goes on.

Also, short hair would be less of a hazard on the field, unless long hair was braided or tied up, etc, etc.

Man, now I want to try and draw her with short hair and give her clips and other accessories, and draw her with long hair bound up with bobby pins or flowers (example: flower crowns, as mentioned by flashback Luna in game) - all things that are significantly out of range with my skill level.

For now.

On a different note, I suck at drawing sylleblossoms. One day, though, I will draw a nice one! And it will be beautiful!

I also drew a dress. It was my attempt at designing a wedding dress for Noct, and it ended up more Zu-inspired than anything else.

It’s not exactly finished, and I don’t like the shape of the current silhouette but:

A) It’s in pen, too late now to change it.

B) I’m also too scared of adding anything in case it goes over-the-top.

I’m thinking it’s a heavily sequined or jeweled gown, though. Maybe for a masquerade event of some sort.

The feathers weren’t supposed to be there originally. I was thinking a striped gown, maybe - and then I was looking at the lines I drew and went - hey, if I connect some of these together, they’ll look like feathers!

Zu feathers are so big, they’d probably be pretty costly, and who wouldn’t want a dress made from giant bird feathers? Unless you’re allergic, or have a fear of birds because then you do have a pretty good reason. Zu birds in game are black too, the Lucian royal colors, so I decided Why Not?

Hence why it is Zu-inspired.

I didn’t expect it to come out so good though, and am now terrified of being unable to replicate it on the other side (like two wings folding around the skirt, which would be really cool) to even try, haha.

(Alternatively, the dress could belong to Aulea or Fem! Regis…or canon Regis or male Aulea. Or even canon Noctis. Just…so pretty? Man, I’d love to see Noctis in a dress. Regardless of gender, I genuinely believe they’d all be able to pull it off - and probably scandalize high society while they were at it, but meh. Who else cares? They’d be fabulous…and also the reigning monarchs/crown prince of Lucis. What would high society do? Scorn them?)

Depending on how heavy the feathers would be, if they were embroidery or something, maybe it would be a detachable overskirt or something…thoughts to chew on.

That or I’d slim down the skirt, and the feathers would be the skirt itself, and even have a train of feathers behind it. Oh, that would be pretty, wouldn’t it?

And then, at the belt, there’s a sort of chatelaine or stomacher that hangs down, with onyx and obsidian gemstone pendants - probably set in silver or gold.

[thecommandertable]

Wilds of Eldraine - in the 99 of Artisan Decks: Part 1 of 2

A couple of weeks ago I gave my first impression of the 10 uncommon legendary creatures in Wilds of Eldraine. Now the whole set has been previewed, so I'm gonna talk about cards that seem like they'll be good in the 99 of Artisan Commander decks. If you don't know what Artisan Commander is, I made a post about that! In Part 1, I'll be going over White, Blue, and Black cards. Part 2 will cover Red, Green, Artifact, and Multicolored cards.

White

Discerning Financier definitely has potential; its ability is more likely to trigger in multiplayer and it offers you ramp and card advantage. In modest amounts for sure, but any card that does both shouldn't be overlooked. Something else I like about this card is that the payoff for having fewer lands is not, like most cards with this sort of ability trigger, getting another land, which means getting further payoffs more likely. Bounce lands, Karoo, and Guildless Commons can also help get you treasure with the Financier without actually being behind on mana.

I'll be adding this card to my Thalisse deck for sure. She rewards me for making treasure.

Another cute thing you could do is play this card alongside Viridian Revel. Not a lot of WG decks that naturally want treasure production, though; maybe Ich-Tekik paired with Rebbec? That could be cool, actually. I love any excuse to play Fangren Marauder. But I digress!

This card was previewed on the same day as the 10 new legends; I mentioned it when I talked about Neva, Stalked by Nightmares. This card goes infinite with Screams from Within, and we got a couple new payoffs that I'll be mentioning below. Knight of Doves could also see play in Siona and other WG aura decks, though it's not quite as powerful there as they don't tend to cycle through their auras as much.

This card could do good work in a GW aura deck. Scrying a card whenever an enchantment enters under your control is nothing to scoff at, and once you've got 7-8 enchantments in play, that activation is no joke.

Solitary Sanctuary is a powerful payoff for Sharae of the Numbing Depths decks. No "once per turn" or "one or more" clauses, so it scales really well. Imagine casting Cone of Cold on a crowded board! Now your creatures are huge, and they can attack with impunity!

Stroke of Midnight is a card that's instantly replacing Generous Gift in a lot of Commander decks, Artisan or otherwise. It can't hit lands, but how often does one use Generous Gift on a land anyway? Anyway, I expect this card to be even more of an upgrade in Artisan, since the difference between a 3/3 and a 1/1 is more pronounced in Artisan than it is in regular Commander.

The Princess Takes Flight looks extremely abuseable. If you can blink/flicker/return it to your hand before that third chapter ability can trigger, the creature it exiled when it came down is exiled permanently. Expect to see it alongside Reality Acid in mean-spirited Abdel Adrian/Candlekeep Sage lists.

Blue

Claustrophobia has come a long way. Now, this isn't quite Kenrith's Transformation, but the comparison to Bitter Chill isn't totally unflattering. Imprisoned in the Moon is probably stronger, but a lot of people (myself included) don't play that card in Artisan because it's only downshifted on Arena; there's no paper copy that's common or uncommon. In any case, Bitter Chill locks down a creature for two mana and has a decent chance of getting you a card back later in the game.

There might be a high enough density of adventure cards now to build a Vega, the Watcher or Lozhan, Dragons' Legacy adventure deck, using Chancellor of Tales and Lucky Clover to double up on your adventures.

Blue-green ramp decks tend to be very good at building an imposing board state, but can struggle with defending against evasive creatures and closing out the game. Galvanic Giant looks like it will help provide some interaction in Imoti and co.

A mono-blue Goblin Electromancer will go into pretty much any deck that plays Goblin Electromancer and into many decks that would play the electromancer but can't because they don't have red. I'll definitely be trying it out in my Rootha deck. There's also a Mono-Blue High Tide deck that I've been brewing (more theorycrafting than something I plan on building in paper) where this fits nicely.

Much like how Treasure Cruise is good in blue decks that put lots of cards into their graveyard, I think Rowdy Research will be good in blue decks that attack with a lot of creatures. That said, there are a lot more blue decks that do the former than there are that do the latter. If you've got Feywild Visitor in the command zone and are running Reconnaissance Mission and Coastal Piracy, Rowdy Research might be a good addition.

This card is also an instant, so you can capitalize on an opponent's big attack to discount it. I don't think that's something you can rely on to make the card good on its own, though. If I had to guess, I'd say that only 20% of games see a player attack with 5+ creatures at once at any point.

Splashy Spellcaster looks like a fun card. Not especially powerful, since your creatures can only have one role attached to them at a time, but being able to spread around +1/+1 and "Whenever this creature attacks, scry 1" among a couple of your creatures has some utility. Might be decent in Arwen Undomiel. I love the art.

Everything I said about Chancellor of Tales applies here. Keystone card for adventure decks.

Black

Yet another powerful piece for Neva, Stalked by Monsters. That deck will have a number of ways to recur enchantments an indefinite number of times, and Ashiok Reaper's draw effect is mandatory, so you might need to have a way to get it off the battlefield so you don't accidentally deck yourself. The deck will probably have sac outlets anyway so that it can recur Takklemaggot (shoutout to Mavis on the Artisan discord for that find!).

An obvious inclusion in the green-black food deck with Greta, Sweettooth Scourge. Getting a creature token whenever you sacrifice a food complements Witch's Oven and/or Cirith Ungol Patrol fantastically.

A mono-colored uncommon legendary? Weird that there's only one, but sure, why not? Old Flitterfang seems pretty good as a source of food tokens, again in the Greta deck.

Like Knight of Doves, we saw this card alongside Neva. It does all the stuff that Knight of Doves does, essentially, because I don't think the tokens either make are going to stick around long enough for their ability to fly/block to matter. A powerful common!

A wincon for Neva. Simple enough.

A downshift! Dark Tutelage probably deserves a spot in some Artisan decks, but I wouldn't declare it an instant staple or anything. It'll be best in decks with low curves and/or topdeck manipulation to minimize the life loss. Decks like Neva! How about that!?

And that's all the White, Blue, and Black cards! See Part 2 for Red, Green, Multicolor, and Artifacts.

[bokettochild]

Oof, Nancy making me spill secrets here! Alright, I'm game!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently? 146, but I really need to move some stuff over there still (like 30 more fics) so that will be changing soon

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,166,802! My goal is to one day have Tolkien levels of words here one day!

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Published ones? 3: Avengers, HTTYD and LoZ, but its been years since I did anything for the first two. I've dabbled elsewhere, but let's stick with this. I didn't publish most of the other stuff on Ao3 anyways.

Top five fics by kudos:

Flight To My Heart, honestly, I think it deserves it. I can do better now in terms of writing skill, but this will always be a favorite of mine for story and soul

The Blood Between Us, I have no clue why, but it was my introductory work to the fandom, and has been here longest. Also, I guess I tagged a lot of stuff when I first published this one LOL

Pepper Me This, I genuinely don't know why this is here considering I barely remember it exists. It is crack though, and my crack does seem to be popular (not me searching my docs to remember what even happens in this)

Apples the Bunny, I'm happy to see this drabble set here! Bunny stuff always makes me happy, and I had no clue this would make the list!

Violet, and I'm not shocked at all. This has got to be one of my more well known pieces, and definitely worth it. It was a pleasure to write and I still make myself laugh with it from time to time!

Do you respond to comments?

I used to try to answer every single comment, but my Hylia it got hard after a while! I still try, but I am terribly behind!

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?

He's My Son, or maybe Whiskey Lullaby? Just A Dream? They all have implied character death, but He's My Son always hurts so good!

Do you write crossovers?

LU as a whole is a giant crossover, but I've done SMASH x LoZ crossovers as well, and I won't lie, the temptation to try cross fandom content is very much there!

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Yeah. Long story short, it's what got A Bride For Hyrule's Prince discontinued. I still get grief on that one from time to time IRL. Most of my online commenters are pretty great though!

Do you write smut?

No.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I used to have a co-writer who'd try to convince me to let us combine works, mostly so she could take 'em over, but nothing got published, so no harm done. I learned a lot about boundaries from her though LOL

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not as far as I know!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Not much of a shipper, although I was a big Hiccstrid fan back in the day!

What’s a wip that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

The sequel to Shimmering Scales. My gosh, it has been three years and I still haven't gotten this thing off the ground, no matter how hard I try!

What are your writing strengths?

Characterization, dynamics, and most interactions.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Setting a scene and establishing characters. It's sort of why I'm writing fic rather than working on my novels T-T

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

It can be fun! As a reader, it makes it tricky if there's nothing in the scene to at least hint what they are saying, or a translation provided (translators aren't always accurate online) but I grew up reading books peppered with Pennsylvania Dutch, so it holds a charm for me.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Good grief, I think I was like 12? Redwall! It started my writing journey!

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

Either Flight to My Heart or A Mother's Touch. FtMH, again, lacks a bit as far as execution goes, but the premise overshadows that in my mind. A Mother's Touch is more up to date with my skill now, and also charming, but simple in comparison to the rambling of FtMH. I suppose one is my favorite multi-chap and the other is my favorite one shot!

@silvercaptain24 @telemna-hyelle @anadorablekiwi @breannasfluff @secretlysheikah @squidos-goodies have a go if you're up for it!

Ao3 tag game!

THANKS @ragecndybars FOR THE TAG I APPRECIATE IT

*cracks knuckles* lets do this

How many works do you have on AO3?

24 works! I would have never expected to have that many 5 years ago, hahaha

What's your total AO3 word count?

186,291! oh wow, almost 200k!! (unsurprisingly PT minato takes up over a third of that LMAO)

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

10 fandoms! I'm counting Persona 3, 4, and 5 and separate, but I'm grouping all the Zelda fandoms together since it's all Linked Universe fic.

Here's the breakdown!

The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms (6)

Persona 5 (5)

Persona 3 (5)

SPY x FAMILY (Anime) (3)

Wizard101 (Video Game) (3)

SPY x FAMILY (Manga) (3)

Runescape (Video Games) (3)

Pirate101 (Video Game) (3)

Persona 4 (2)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom (2)

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga (1)

Star Wars - All Media Types (1)

The Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors (1)

Top five fics by kudos:

The Ghost of Mementos/Stygian Ringlet (Persona3/5) - to the surprise of absolutely no one, since this is currently my longest fic. I'm very happy with Stygian Ringlet being the top because I love my boys :)

True Crime Special on the Midnight Channel (Persona 4/5) - my Ren has a TV Dungeon fic! also very proud of the dungeon concept for this one, I really need to finish the last two chapters

Dark Clouds on the Horizon (Linked Universe/TOTK) - I feel like this one got a lot of momentum partially because it was directly in the wake of TOTK's release, but I'm happy with how it turned out :)

Strangers Are Just Friends You Haven't Met (Persona 3/SPY x FAMILY) - this was a collab series with mewrose and a few others in the marigolds discord! we were throwing ideas at the wall to see what stuck and I really had a lot of fun with Shinjiro-related prompts, because I LOVE him and hitting him with the isekai baseball bat into a universe with Anya brings me great joy

Salt Tears and Raindrops (Linked Universe/TOTK) - directly related to Dark Clouds, and I'm glad people enjoyed good ol' fashioned angst >:) (I do need to post more of my wips, I do have a couple more roleswap AU wips that I want to post)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I almost always do because I really appreciate them and its my way of saying thanks for the comment! If I don't comment it's because I lost track of it or because I can't think of a response.

What's the fic with the angstiest ending you've ever written?

Probably Salt Tears and Raindrops. I was in a Mood and decided to go for the tried-and-true method of putting fictional characters I like through the emotional wringer. That's how I got the rough draft for this fic :)

Do you write crossovers?

*looks at my persona fics and recent LU fics*

...I think it's safe to say most of my fics these days fall under crossovers lmao

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

I wouldn't say I have? One or two comments that came off as rude, but no actual hate, thankfully. If I did, I forgot about it. I've been blessed by wonderfully nice readers <3

Do you write smut?

Nope. I don't read it, so I wouldn't know how to write it anyway.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? I sure hope not.

I have seen a couple short fics slightly imitate Ghost of Mementos though, which I thought was really sweet that they liked it enough to inspire their own writing.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'd definitely be open to it!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

RYOMINA. Hands down. I love them so much, I am so mentally unwell about these two

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

My two Runescape fics, Whispers in the Temple and Welcome to the Jungle. I absolutely loved going hogwild with rewriting old quests in Runescape, but I psyched myself out of Welcome to the Jungle because I got overly anxious about accidentally doing bad representation.

(in hindsight, it probably wouldn't have been as big a deal as I thought; it's hard to make it worse considering how bad Legend's Quest was with the british-african stereotypes. that quest DID NOT age well.)

I also want to finish Snake in the Grass; that was my first attempt at a genuine mystery plot and I really liked playing with Warriors in that fic in the context of the gang trying to figure out who the heck is trying to murder him.

What are your writing strengths?

I feel like I'm pretty good at dialogue! I try to make sure it matches the character's speech patterns and personality. Really well-written dialogue can tell you who's speaking without actually telling who it is. (For example, the way I write them: Minato speaks as few words as possible and has very little filter with his observations when he does share them, and Shinjiro is pretty rough around the edges, with shortened words and the occasional swear. Warriors is good with words and wit, but he has a certain military-esque directness and doesn't dance around the topic.)

I do try hard to keep the plot clear and understandable over everything else, so probably that as well.

Also, now that I think about it, maybe fight sequences? I don't do them much, but I do enjoy the challenge of making a clear sequence of what happens in a fight and trying to make it understandable. Fight sequences are easy to skip or gloss over, but I think of them like their own miniature plot. What happens? What surprises are there? What are their movesets? How do they get the upper hand? (and of course, what looks cool as fuck)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Time management. I tend to over-proofread since I beta my own work, and often I'll go back to tweak stuff if I had additional thoughts to add to it, or extra insight. Lately, it takes longer to write chapters than I'd like.

Also, dialogue-heavy scenes often get very chaotic in my WIPs because of the way I rough out fics. I'll throw together a bunch of dialogue bits I think would be cool to include, and sometimes they'll clash or get really messy, especially if there's lots of characters (looking at the latest two chapters of Stygian Ringlet)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I think it's cool! It adds flavor to fics. If it's more than one short phrase though, or if it's story important, then I do prefer that there is a translation in the author's notes. I haven't done any non-English dialogue in fics, save for one memorable adventure into trying to figure out how Latin grammar structure works for a character that didn't speak English.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Wizard101 and Pirate101. I was obsessed with those two for YEARS. I really, really liked pirate stories in high school, and having a cast of crewmates that accompany you throughout the game really inspired me to write my first fic featuring my OC. (I was also into One Piece at the time, but I never wrote for it.)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

Stygian Ringlet. It's really dear to my heart. I have poured so much love and effort into that fic, and the reception on it has completely blown me away.

THANKS FOR THE TAG!! Uhhhmmm for tags I'm going to go with @skyward-floored, @catreginae and @breannasfluff (but only if you want to!! no obligation of course)

and of course any other writers that want to do it as well!! go forth

[omg-just-peachy]

Hii 🤩 11 for the touching prompts? Also I love your writing so much, thank you!!

Ahh thank you so much! 💗💖

11 / laying their hand on the other’s neck

***

Tony Stark is hardly a small person, and even less so when he’s in the suit. But when you place him beside Steve Rogers, certain comparisons tend to be made. The media loves to point out how much taller Steve is. And even though Tony's long been accustomed to tabloid nonsense, he almost always finds himself pink-cheeked at each and every one of those comparisons.

But Steve’s height does have its advantages, too. He can always reach the tall shelves in the kitchen, making him the perfect person to have around when they’re unloading the dishwasher, or trying to grab a favorite mug, tucked away at the top of the cabinet.

They never have to call maintenance to change the battery in the smoke detector, and Steve can always reach up and squish a bug on the off chance one found its way in all the way up here.

So, no, Tony isn't opposed to how tall Steve is. Distracted by it, sure, maybe sometimes. When they sparred, for one thing, Tony became acutely aware of just how much bigger Steve is, how much taller, yes, but also... stronger. Wider. He could knock the breath right out of Tony if he wanted to.

Or if Tony wanted him to.

...Not that he did. He doesn’t think of Steve that way much these days. He’d made a promise to himself to stop, actually. A New Year's resolution type deal to help him get over his giant-sized crush on Steve.

But Steve makes it hard. Like this morning, as they bobbed and weaved, each trying to reach a cupboard and grab something for breakfast, until, laughing, Steve had lifted Tony up like he weighed nothing at all and simply moved him out of the way.

It was unnerving.

Distracting.

And certainly not making it any easier for Tony to keep his thoughts and feelings about Steve to himself.

Because really, Steve could reach down and manhandle Tony all he wanted, but Tony would have pull Steve down to eye level if he ever wanted to—

But, no. He doesn't have to worry about what he would have to do to kiss Steve, because kissing Steve isn’t something he’d be doing.

For the next few weeks, Tony mostly sticks to his so-called resolution, even if Steve continues to make it difficult to do so. Which he does, a lot of the time, actually. Like when he falls asleep right on Tony’s shoulder during a movie, mumbling tiredly and snuggling in closer anytime Tony tried to shift away. Or the way Steve would always come down to keep Tony company while he worked long hours in the lab, no matter how late it was.

But aside from those weaker moments, Tony kept any lingering thoughts and feelings about Steve Rogers to himself.

He probably would have continued on that path if it wasn’t for the September Foundation Gala, and the stupid blue tux Steve showed up in.

As soon as he walked in, it felt to Tony like all of the oxygen in the room vanished, leaving him breathless as Steve fidgeted with a glass in front of him.

“Tony,” Steve says now, looking relieved to have spotted him among the sea of party-goers, “hi.”

“Hi,” Tony says, smiling up at him. “You clean up nice, Cap.”

This earns him a blush that Tony’s pretty sure he can feel in his own cheeks, warm and fiery red.

“You too,” Steve tells him, smiling in that far too earnest way he has that always leaves Tony’s stomach in knots.

“I should probably—”

“Dance!” Steve blurts, before Tony can fumble through the list of people he should probably talk to before the night ends.

“Dance?” Tony repeats, dumbly. He can lead with the best of them, but the idea of dancing with Steve, here, makes his feet feel like lead in his shoes.

“Sure, why not?” Steve asks, and holds out a hand, like dancing is something they do all the time.

“Why not,” Tony agrees, nervously setting his hand in Steve’s and letting himself be led to the floor full of swaying couples and waltzing music. Steve’s hand comes to rest on Tony’s waist, grounding him and pulling him close, until Tony’s so light-headed with nerves and joy he feels like he’s downed far more than his single glass of champagne.

“You really do look nice tonight, Tony,” Steve says quietly. “Everything looks amazing.”

“Oh,” Tony says, blinking up at him. “Thanks,” he says quickly. “It takes a village. Mostly Pepper, though,” he babbles. "She has this team of minions she recruits for these things, like Santa and the elves, you know..."

Steve laughs, and holds Tony impossibly closer. “You don’t give yourself enough credit for things.”

“Some people would say I give myself too much credit,” he counters.

“Well, some people are idiots,” Steve says firmly, a frown creasing the space between his eyebrows. Tony’s fingers itch to reach up and smooth it away.

“Okay, okay,” Tony laughs. He’s trying hard not to notice the way Steve’s looking at him, his bright blue eyes warm and fond and perfect, but it’s hard, what with how close they are, and the way Steve’s hands seem to fit so perfectly around him.

The song ends then, couples making their way back to tables as new groups fall in around them, but still Steve doesn’t make a move to let Tony go, even as the next song picks up, faster and more upbeat than the last.

“Um,” Tony says, as Steve’s mouth opens and shuts, desperately trying to find something to say to fill the silence falling between them.

And maybe it’s the music, or the way Steve is still looking at him. Maybe it’s that lone glass of champagne, but one minute Tony’s scrambling for something to say, and the next he’s laying a hand to Steve’s neck, reaching up as he tugs Steve down to him. Down until he can finally, finally bring their lips together, Steve leaning down as Tony presses forward, wrapped together right there on the dance floor until they pull away, Steve’s face flushed and breathless.

“I’ve wanted to do that for… a long time,” Steve says quietly, as Tony leads them to a quiet hallway, away from prying eyes and knowing smiles.

“Yeah?” Tony asks, because he needs to be sure he heard him correctly.

“Yeah,” Steve nods, and Tony grins.

“Come back here then,” Tony murmurs, gently pulling Steve down towards him again. And for all of Tony’s planning, all his wondering what the physics of kissing Steve might be, in the moment, all he can think is that it’s easy.

[halcyon-writings]

i checked this list and it said persona so im hoping this is still ok. Date night with the protagonists? (Makoto, Yu and Ren) please and thank you >///

ー『anonymous: Can i get dating headcanons for the persona protags (Makoto, Yu and Ren) please and super thank yous. I love these boys so much. ;A;』

note(s): I am going to combine these requests as they are similar enough I hope that is alright! no real warnings for this one either, I just think these dudes are neat. Also I know they all have like 5 different names, so I just went with the ones I am more familiar with. Maybe(????) spoilers for 3, 4, and 5, so if you haven’t finished or played them, be warned (although, idk if anyone would read it if they haven’t played the respective game but idk warning for spoilers just in case) also idk how i feel about these hcs rn, but i did my best dhdjdj

all my other links can be found in my navigation post!! If you like my writing and you’d like to support me, my tip jar is also linked there!

hcs under the cut so i’m not clogging anyone’s dash (originally these were gonna be a short set of hcs but i guess not dbdndn)

What our dear protagonist lacks in overall extrovertedness, he makes up for in action. Surprise surprise, dates can either range from hanging out in the dorms and cooking a nice meal together. Or maybe going to the mall and heading to the arcade. Or basically wandering around until your legs hurt and your purchases range from new outfits to weird antiques from the antique shop.

However he really does treasure these little trinkets, because the memory of your laughter when you were given a certain item will forever be ingrained in his mind. It’s a comfort in the end too.

Date nights are focused on you and you only. He definitely sets a date where he knows you both are free so that there’s less likely of a chance for being interrupted. He definitely wouldn’t want his time with you to be wasted. Although seeing his small pout when it does happen is very cute.

You also gotta be keen on if he sees something he likes and wants. While Minato won’t exactly say it, his gaze lingers a bit longer than usual. But he ultimately won’t get it, because he wants to focus on you and also save up for when the group goes to Tartarus. So if you surprise him with whatever he had wanted, he’s so happy.

While he is slightly more reserved in comparison to Yu and Akira, Minato speaks through action. Whenever you two are walking together, he always has your hand in his, or keeping close by in some way. He likes to cling to you when it’s just you two, his head buried in the crook of your neck as you two nap tother, legs tangled up together. Or the small jokes he says loud enough for only you to hear, but they’re still so funny. Sometimes you’re asked if he’s really a good boyfriend, and you have to laugh off the doubt, because they don’t see the sides of him that you do.

My god. Yu would absolutely be the best at arranging dates and hangouts. I take no criticism. Like you guys could literally just be walking all around Inaba, or just sitting by the river bed and it could be one of the greatest times you’ve both had together. A romantic at heart, Yu would also be a bit cheesy in arranging dates.

He shows affection through communcating it. Whether it’s a new outfit or something, he’ll say that you look incredible or if you’ve studied for a hard exam, he’ll make sure you know how amazing you are for passing. Idk just anything that has you smiling from sweet compliments and other words of affirmation. A big sap, honestly you try and joke about it but he just earnestly says “Who wouldn’t be for you?” And you have to sit down and hide your face in your hands for a solid 5 minutes.

You also gotta be cool with Nanako. But then again she’s a cute kid and a sweetheart so idk why you wouldn’t be. Although he does get a little flustered if it’s you two watching her while Dojima-san is working late at the station and the old ladies coo over how you three look like a mini family yourselves. Which is kind of a common occurrence. And I feel like Yu would know pretty well if he sees a future with someone he’s with, and with you he does shhh

Date nights in Inaba are really fun and a good way to wind down, sometimes it’s wandering Junes and finding whatever the newly advertised, as seen on tv appliance is. Or other parts of the shopping district, where he can really let go and just have fun for himself. When not worrying about school work or the cases the Investigation Team is working on.

some spoilers here; but after Izanami is defeated and the year ends. When Yu has to leave Inaba it doesn’t mean that he won’t put his best efforts to keep up the relationship. If possible, video calls or just the occasional text too. And when he visits, while he does miss his friends, he’s especially antsy to see you too. And when you’re both together again, he refuses to leave your side.

Now, Akira can be described as this suave, casanova type character. But he’s also a giant dork and you know it, he knows it, the Phantom Thieves all know it, hell even Sojiro knows it. It doesn’t mean his attempts at flirting doesn’t get you blushing. And when he sees the flustered expression, it only motivates him to keep going. But turn the tables on him, and he’s putty in your hands. (And he looks very cute).

Because of the way you met, aka, at Shujin, where his reputation was basically over and done with before it even began, he has a lot of doubt and trust issues, what if someone dared you to speak to the “criminal” or something? While he won’t show these doubts out loud to his friends, it’s still something he thinks back on a lot. But when you defend him vehemently one day, he knows he was right to trust you.

A part of dating Akira, is eventually finding out who he is. Maybe trips to Mementos cause him to be late to dates or not even show up at all. You end up stood up more often then not once things begin to get really serious. From small time school teachers to the literal Yakuza (and eventually a candidate for Prime Minister, and a god), you don’t know where he is. And that becomes really stressful because then the doubt™️ sets in.

To make this less angsty and more funny, imagine you know from figuring it out. He’s suspiciously watching the news on the PT, and no offense to Ryuji, he’s not the most quiet. So he’s so nervous trying to tell you when you’re just “yeah I know, sorry for not telling you, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to know.” and he’s just the surprised pikachu face.

As for date nights, the city is your oyster. I’d say the world but mans still currently has a criminal record so probably not yet. But he’s gonna take you wherever you want. Whether it’s a themed cafe, or just the streets of Shinjuku, as you take in all the sights from the bright places, he’s willing to do whatever for you. That includes facing off kids at the arcade for a stuffed plush you saw and admitted it was cute. He is a man on a mission. And you cannot stop him. So you both end up back at Leblanc at the end of the night carrying your plushies and eating some curry that Sojiro left warming for you. That even includes the Big Bang Burger challenge he will do it for you , even though you probably do laugh at his pain after but you still coo and praise his efforts.

After he goes back home, record clean and world hopefully peaceful. Virtual dates become a thing, either just sitting and talking while having dinner or something is nice. He still loves to say those cheesy pickup lines that had you hiding your flustered expression as you walked through the streets of Shibuya on call. You only hung up on him once but he quickly called back and was very pouty about it. You were forgiven though with the promise of giving many kisses when he visits.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Hopefully I’m not too early but What if Jiang Fengmian went “they only asks for blood heirs” and gave Jiang Cheng up to the Wen Indoctrination Camp because he cannot bear Wei Wuxian going and possibly getting hurt. JC is very hurt by the blatant favouritism of his father but still went as his duty dictates. He somehow become close friends with Huaisang, MianMian, and Jin Zixuan. Please give me Jiang Cheng Protection Squad. MingCheng sort of happens? Thank you so much!

“…wow,” Nie Huaisang said when Jiang Cheng finished explaining. “That’s – that’s bullshit.”

Jiang Cheng flushed. Secretly, in his heart, he agreed a little bit with Nie Huaisang’s assessment, but at the same time he couldn’t just sit around while someone said things about his father…

“Before you say that I can’t say something like that, I’m not being cruel or dismissive, I’m describing the situation accurately using crude words,” Nie Huaisang said, holding up his hands. “It’s not the same.”

That…sounded wrong.

“Back me up here,” Nie Huaisang said to the others in their group. They’d been put into a single group by the Wen sect, all of them but Mianmian who’d snuck over by climbing a tree, and given a too-small, too-crowded tent to sleep in and a single fire pit to warm themselves. How that had let them to sitting by the fire and sharing stories of how they’d been sent here, Jiang Cheng wasn’t sure. “Sect Leader Jiang deciding that because the Wen sect only asked for blood heirs that he wouldn’t sent Wei-xiong here alongside Jiang-xiong because he might get hurt is a situation can be, and indeed must be, accurately described as being total bullshit, right?”

“…it kind of is,” Jin Zixuan said. “Sorry, Jiang Wanyin.”

“It definitely is,” Mianmian said, emboldened by her sect leader’s agreement. “Absolutely bullshit.”

Even Lan Wangji hummed. It was a pretty neutral sound, but it might be an affirmative hum.

Well, if everyone agreed…

Jiang Cheng’s shoulders went down a fraction from where they’d been hovering around his ears. 

“I wasn’t just taking it too personally?” he asked, seeking confirmation. “I mean, Father’s right – it doesn’t make sense to give the Wen sect two hostages when they’ve only asked for one, and there’s always the risk that Wei Wuxian would get hurt –”

“Your father should be concerned about whether you get hurt!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed, slapping the ground. “They don’t feed us, they make us work in the fields, and who knows what else…! When my brother heard about their request, he nearly killed the Wen sect’s messenger, he was so angry!”

“My mother was angry, too,” Jiang Cheng offered. “She and my father got into a big fight –”

Nie Huaisang jabbed a finger at him, rather rudely. “From the story you told, your mother only got really angry when she heard Wei Wuxian was staying behind.”

“…so?”

“There’s a difference between being upset over your son’s well-being and being upset that – that – that, I don’t know! That your favorite dog is losing the race!”

“My mother threw a vase at my father’s head when she heard that he’d agreed to send me here,” Jin Zixuan said quietly. He was actually a lot more tolerable without his retainers puffing him up and egging him on all the time, and having to work side-by-side in the fields had revealed that under the flash and arrogance there was an introverted boy who disliked dealing with people nearly as much as Jiang Cheng did. “Then she spent the next two days trying to find a way out of it, then hovered for the rest of the week before I left.”

“My father punched a wall,” Mianmian recalled. “Mother had to sit on him before he tried something crazy, like petitioning to remove me from the sect or something. Not that’d I’d ever have let Jin-gongzi come here alone, of course.”

“See?” Nie Huaiwang said, gesturing at them all. Lan Wangji hadn’t volunteered, but obviously no one would ask him, either; they’d all heard about the burning of the Cloud Recesses. No one had agreed to send him here. “Violence in response to an unreasonable request! Violence! Anything less is unacceptable!”

“You know, for the very first time, I think see your resemblance to the rest of the Nie sect?” Mianmian said, chin on her hand.

“You’re exaggerating,” Jiang Cheng said. “No, not about the resemblance, about – the other part. It’s not anywhere near as bad as you’re all making it out to be; Wei Wuxian’s always been my father’s favorite, and Mother’s always been angry about it. It’s not a big deal.”

“They should not compare you,” Lan Wangji said. He didn’t talk much, so everyone always listened when he did. “It is inappropriate.”

Jiang Cheng didn’t know what to do with that. He’d never not been compared to Wei Wuxian, not since he’d arrived at the Lotus Pier all those years ago…and maybe even before.

“Even Lan-er-gongzi agrees,” Nie Huaisang said, pulling his knees up and putting his chin on them with a pout. “It’s all bullshit, I’m telling you. I’m taking you back with me to the Nie sect when all this is over. If your parents want you back, they can come ask nicely.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Jiang Cheng told him.

“You could come to Lanling if you prefer,” Jin Zixuan said, and Jiang Cheng turned to stare at him. “What? Your mother and mine are friends. It’d be fine. I wouldn’t – it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“I’m the heir of the Jiang sect,” Jiang Cheng exclaimed, throwing up his hands. “I can’t not go back!”

“Don’t think of it as not going back,” Mianmian said. “Think of it as taking a long detour.”

“You’d like Qinghe,” Nie Huaisang put in. “My brother’s really cool. He gives great hugs.”

“I bet he does,” Mianmian muttered appreciatively.

“Gross, Mianmian.”

“He’s seventh on the list of most attractive male cultivators, and in my personal opinion should be a good few places higher up. Get used to it.”

“I don’t do hugs anyway,” Jiang Cheng interjected before he somehow got sold up the river – he knew how this sort of thing went. “Father doesn’t like them.”

“…your father hugged Wei Ying when he arrived at the Cloud Recesses to collect him,” Lan Wangji said neutrally.

“Fine. He doesn’t like them with me. Never did, not really, the whole time I was growing up…well, I mean, I guess he did sometimes when I was really young, before Wei Wuxian came...”

“Are you seriously saying your father hugs Wei Wuxian and not you?” Jin Zixuan asked. “And that he - he stopped hugging you when Wei Wuxian was there? Because that’s – that’s…”

“Bullshit?” Nie Huaisang suggested.

“Bullshit,” Jin Zixuan agreed with surprising vehemence.

“You’re exaggerating,” Jiang Cheng said.

“No,” Lan Wangji said.

“No, what? No they’re not exaggerating, no they’re not –”

“No. It is bullshit.”

“…did we just get a Lan to curse?” Mianmian asked, eyes wide. “I didn’t even know Lans were allowed to do that. Ever.”

“It is not a curse,” Lan Wangji said with dignity. “It is an accurate description of the situation.”

“Vindication,” Nie Huaisang hissed. How Jiang Cheng had missed that he was such a vicious little snake during their time at the Cloud Recesses, he had no idea, and judging by the amused expressions on everyone else’s faces, they felt much the same. “See, Jiang Cheng, this is why you –”

“Time to sleep,” Lan Wangji interrupted. His internal sense of time was more reliable than any clock when it came to sleeping and waking, and no one complained – if they stayed out much later than nine the Wen sect guards would come to accuse them of making trouble, and no one wanted to be labelled a trouble-maker.

Mianmian disappeared back over to the women’s camp – boring in comparison, according to her, but more likely she just wanted to keep her word about watching over Jin Zixuan – and the rest of them shuffled back to bed.

Some time later that night, when Jiang Cheng was lying in the middle of a pile of arms and legs he could no longer differentiate, he stared at the ceiling and asked quietly, “…is it really that bad?”

An arm looped around his waist tightened, and a foot lightly nudged him from the other direction.

“It’s not that it’s bad,” someone said, and their voice was so faint that he couldn’t tell which of the boys it was. “It’s that you deserve better.”

Jiang Cheng didn’t know what to say to that.

He continued not to know what to say the next day, but that was the day that they got forced to act as bait on a night-hunt into a giant lightless cave and Mianmian nearly got herself killed, followed very shortly by Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji for standing up for her.

Under normal circumstances, Jiang Cheng would think first about his sect and only later about everyone else, and he tried, really, but – well, the Wens were attacking anyway, and somehow it’s Nie Huaisang of all people who hisses, “Get Wen Chao!” and Jiang Cheng had, and for a moment there it looked like they were going to be okay.

And then they all got stuck in a cave with a corrupted Xuanwu.

Minus the Wens, which was at least something.

“There are fresh maple leaves on the water,” Lan Wangji said. “There must be a way in and out.”

“I can dive in and check it out if someone distracts the Xuanwu,” Jiang Cheng offered. When they stared at him, he shrugged. “I’m a good swimmer.”

“You’d better be an amazing swimmer,” Jin Zixuan said. “I don’t want to have to plan your funeral.”

“I don’t think we get funerals here,” Nie Huaisang put in. “So if you die, you’ll stink up the whole place and we’ll all be very upset. I mean, gross!”

Jiang Cheng had by this point gotten used to Nie Huaisang’s – Nie Huaisang-ness, but it couldn’t be denied that everyone was a lot less terrified after listening to Nie Huaisang complain about nonsense for a bit. So much so, in fact, that it abruptly occurred to Jiang Cheng that maybe Nie Huaisang was doing it on purpose which…he wasn’t sure what to do with, so he decided to just put out of his mind.

Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan put their heads together and eventually decided on each of them using a fire talisman as a distraction, alternating between them, while Jiang Cheng crept to the water and found a way out, which he reported back.

“Someone will need to stay behind as a distraction,” Lan Wangji said solemnly. His hands were clasped together, and Jiang Cheng knew what he was going to say before he said it.

“No way,” he said. “You’re not staying behind. If anything, I should; I’m the best swimmer, I might be able to get around it even if it’s not distracted.”

“You know where the exit is; it is better if you lead those going out.”

“A description will do the trick just as well,” Jiang Cheng argued. “And anyway, it’s not – it’s not as if I’ll be missed at home, the way all of you would be.”

They all glared at him, then, and he shrugged angrily.

“It’s true,” he said, and he could say it only because Wei Wuxian wasn’t there to stop him. He wouldn’t even think it, if Wei Wuxian was there; Wei Wuxian always knew when it was coming and interrupted him with a smile or a joke or something, and so the bitterness never got a chance to be let out. But he wasn’t here now, they were, and everyone else seemed to think it was all bullshit and maybe it was, okay, maybe it was. But it didn’t make it any less true. “My father has always said that Wei Wuxian understood the sect motto better than I did. He wouldn’t be upset at all if the sect went to him instead, and if I was dead or injured he’d probably just give him the Jiang surname in my honor or something. Let me be the one to stay.”

“Uh, question,” Nie Huaisang said. “Why does anyone have to stay? Can’t we just set up a trap or something?”

“A trap?” Jin Zixuan said. “What do you mean?”

Nie Huaisang shrugged and looked at Lan Wangji. “Do you know Chord Assassination?”

Lan Wangji blinked, surprised, but nodded.

“Okay, so, here’s the idea…”

It was an extremely stupid idea, based on using the chords as part of a pulley, some Wen sect soldiers and swords used as counterbalance weights, but as a distraction it worked pretty beautifully right up until the last moment when Jiang Cheng was helping Lan Wangji – whose leg was broken – swim through the water and the Xuanwu abruptly noticed that they were all going to leave and dashed after them, getting its head stuck in the exit hole they were using.

“Should we behead it or something?” Jin Zixuan asked, staring at the thrashing beast. “It can’t be allowed to hurt others.”

“Using what?” Mianmian asked, holding up a Wen sword in disdain. “These pieces of – well. These swords? It wouldn’t work.”

“I can still do Chord Assassination,” Lan Wangji said, and with all of them heaving together they were able to hold the string down tight enough to eventually cut the thing’s head off at the neck.

Nie Huaisang even used the opportunity to go pick out some sort of sword that was sticking out of the creature’s side, which he’d declared to be extremely ‘aesthetic’ if you looked at it from a certain perspective.

By that point, they were all exhausted, but no one wanted to stay a second longer in Qishan than they had to – especially since one of the small sect cultivators who’d wandered further away had seen Wens incoming – so Jiang Cheng put Lan Wangji, now totally exhausted, on his back and they all ran away.

“Come visit me in Qinghe sometime!” Nie Huaisang shouted, waving as the Nie sect disciples split off in a different direction. “I promised you some high-quality proper affection hugs from my da-ge, Jiang Cheng! Just you wait, you’ll see how good they are!”

(They are every bit as good as promised.)

[obeiii-mee]

Hi! Im new to your page and i love your writing 💕 i have a request for demon brothers headcanons on how they treat MC after realizing they get anxiety from things like yelling/loud abrupt noises/ things like that? For example, they flinch, get quiet, or start fidgeting? Thank you!!!

Aww, thank you so much. That means a lot to me and I’m really glad you like my writing considering I have such a chaotic style lmao. Also, welcome to this mess of a blog. We give off ‘cult’ vibes but at least we have hot, fictional demons to make up for that.This was super sweet because I know for a fact every single one of them would be very understanding of MC’s anxiety of anything.

Enjoy!

———————————————————————

The Brothers with an MC that gets anxiety from loud/abrupt noises:

Lucifer:

-He may not get anxiety from it, but Lucifer definitely prefers a quiet atmosphere/environment where he can focus on his work

-Which makes living with his brothers a living nightmare because they don’t have the capability to shut the fuck up

-That being said, he catches on rather quickly that you do not feel comfortable around loud noises in general

-There’s a limit to what he can do but every time you feel like you need a bit of peace and quiet, know that you are more than welcomed into his office at any time of the day. Even if he isn’t there

-He definitely prioritises your mental as well as your physical well being seeing as living with demons can have a massive effect on your sanity

-He’s not judgemental about it either because, while he doesn’t understand why loud noises may cause you to be so anxious, he understands that humans are built differently to demons

-Lucifer has no chill at times and will tell all of his brothers off every time they make a big scene, whether in public or private

-He can be a tad overprotective at times but he means really well, especially if he sees you’ve gotten oddly silent for the past few minutes or has caught wind of you fidgeting during dinner

-I don’t know how much I stressed so far about the observation skills this man has but I will keep doing, he can spot you flinching at loud noises from a mile away

Mammon:

-I believe that he can read people really well and can recognise when a person is feeling a certain way

-But he’s still a complete dumbass so he might still miss a few clues hidden in your mannerisms

-Like, he realises you’re uncomfortable but he doesn’t understand the degree of it or why it exists

-You’ll have to be blunt about it and tell him about your deal with loud noises because otherwise he will be stressing about it for weeks on end

-Dating him as a result of your anxiety over loud noises can prove to be...difficult

-He’s a very boisterous and obnoxious being, everytime a particular emotion of his flares up, he gets significantly noisier

-Whenever he enters the room you happen to be in, you’re forced to cover your ears and flinch because he has a way of announcing his presence

-But he tries so incredibly hard to act calmer around you and he so hates it when he fails to do so because he knows how uncomfortable you get as a result of him screaming like an idiot

-His brothers usually blame him when you start fidgeting because they assume he’s the cause of your rising anxiety and he started to believe it as well

-He sees that look on your face and he is just gutted

-He is ready to get on his knees and start apologising profusely until you forgive him for being such a noisy bastard

-The times other things/people are the cause of you going weirdly quiet, he will use his threatening tactics

-“Listen ‘ere, you’re makin’ my human uncomfortable so if you don’t shut the fuck up, I won’t let you see the light of day again. Do ya hear me?!?!”

-He says to the godfather clock when the sound of it striking midnight startled you

Levi:

-He 100% understands

-He hates loud noises as well and they usually make him scamper back to his room lol a rat in hiding

-Levi is slightly more immune to them however seeing as his brothers do have a habit of raising their voices all the time

-But do not worry, human, for he will protect his Henry from the annoying sounds people in general make at the cost of his life

-Take shelter in his room, please

-He loves having you in there and usually you only have the noise of video games in the background

-If you’re there and an anime he’s watching is getting too loud, he will turn it down for you ahead of time

-Sometimes, he can be as noisy as his brothers, especially when he rages at one of his games

-Bu he’s so quick to shut up once he realises you’re there

-And then, like Mammon, would start apologising for being not only an ugly otaku but an obnoxious one at that

-So y’all end up comforting and cuddling each other because.....uh....mutual hatred for loud things?

-Also, he would decapitate his brothers for you if they crossed a line (like he’s not really a Yandere but he’s a demon with demonic instincts to protect I guess)

Satan:

-Much like his father eldest brother, Satan also prefers silence in general

-After all, it’s a lot easier to read when his brothers aren’t there to muck about the place and make too much noise

-Humans are very different to demons, especially psychologically speaking and he understand that

-That’s why he doesn’t question it when you follow him into the library to seek refugee from his siblings

-If anything, he’s rather happy he gets to spend some time with you so the two of you sit in silence, each of you doing your own separate thing

-He knows if something is bothering you again, he can probably notice you suddenly start fidgeting in public

-He’s very cautious with you when you are in this state as he deems you are at your most vulnerable

-One time, a teacher at RAD raised his voice too high while scolding you for not paying attention and that earned an involuntary flinch from you

-That guy was officially on Satan’s shit list from then on, just so ya know

-Overall, he’s very sweet and patient with you and absolutely does not mind spending an entire day with you indoors away from loud noises

Asmo:

-He has no problem with loud noises whatsoever

-If anything, he loves being in crowded public places like The Fall, since partying and socialising is one of his many talents

-Not to mention, he’s so used to own family being so loud it just doesn’t affect him that much

-However, when you first arrived and he noticed just how badly you reacted to loud noises, he started avoiding things like clubbing as if it were the plague every time he hanged out with you

-Asmo needs social contact but he is more than willing to spend time indoors with you if it makes you feel better

-Or going out shopping in a relatively quiet shopping centre

-I mean, getting his nails done with you by his side sounds absolutely amazing to him

-So as much as he loves making noises and spending time in rowdy places, he’s always going to make an exception with you

-Always

Beel:

-Beel is unbothered by noise

-Sure, he does like it better when his brothers aren’t fighting and things are peaceful around the house

-But, he’s not fazed by yelling, loud music, heavy things falling and thudding against the ground etc.

-He picks up on your anxiety riddled gestures the first time Lucifer has a go at his brothers in front of you

-Because you started fidgeting like crazy and in that moment he was the only one that saw it

-So Beel grabbed your hand and led you outside of the room and Lucifer was so caught up in the moment he didn’t even realise it

-Probably, maybe he just let it go

-Basically, Beel decides that he shall protect you, the tiny human in comparison with him, from any loud noises that might startle you

-He will do it, do not test him

-One time, Mammon was screaming because he was chased by the witches and it made you flinch enough for Beel to see

-A couple hours later, Mammon disappears completely and shows up at your door, looking absolutely traumatised but genuinely apologetic and says sorry

-Sometimes people forget Beel is a demon

Belphie:

-I’m gonna make a wild assumption and presume that if you are vulnerable to loud noises, you are very likely a light sleeper

-If that is the case, (apologies if you’re not) then Belphie would be very quick to notice because a lot of shit goes down at night time and most of the time, it’s loud

-Belphie doesn’t have a problem with it, he can sleep through anything, even his brothers and especially Lucifer

-But he definitely notices if you aren’t cuddled up to him any more, even if he was asleep, because you sat up in bed suddenly at a random noise at 3am

-Note: That was Asmo sneaking back into the house trying to be as quite as possible but tripping and breaking a window

-“You’ll have to get used to that. My brothers are idiots, they don’t know when to be silent.”

-He prefers quiet places like the attic so he can actually sleep, but again, could do so either way so it doesn’t matter to him

-But he is going to be...let’s say ...upset.... if you were to wake up from a nap session because of someone something

-“Make one more sound and I’ll rip your tongue out.”

-Even when you aren’t napping, he gets very angry when people get unnecessarily loud, especially with you reaction

-But that just gives him an opportunity to bring you to the attic or something so the two of you can actually chill by yourselves for a chance

-Beel is invited obviously, but Belphie is just as happy to be left by himself with you

-Ironic how much his feelings for you have changed, huh?

————————————

So I really finished this by the end of the week. Hope this is actually some good because I spent all of my brain cells on an another giant request I’m working and the rest were used to write this. Thank you for sending me requests though guys! Now every time I get bored I can just answer your asks. Have a nice Monday!

Al~

[cellard0ors]

Fic: Movement (1/?)

This is dedicated to @peachworthy - my plan is to work on this when I can. I was going to try and write a full long thing (all puns intended) but thought it might be fun to just do sporadic bits instead!

“As you can see, it’s a pretty nice place…” Mr. Super Tall and Super Handsome and Super-Out-of-Link’s-League tells him as he walks him around the place. Link’s only been half listening because he’s been trailing behind this uniquely sexy giraffe of a man for about half an hour now and it’s been hard to not just…eat him up with his eyes.

Link’s lived in LA for about two years now and while he’s seen some attractive people, they all pale in comparison to…

…oh gosh, he’s forgotten his name again! Not a good thing to do when being toured by your potential roommate to be. Although Link’s pretty sure his current tour guide is just being nice.

No way he’s seriously considering letting Link move in. First of all, Link is a late in life college student trying to get a film degree. Second, this guy could have anyone live with him.

Anyone.

The fact he even needs a roommate is staggering. After all, this place is already furnished. It’s clear he’s lived here for a while now – so the need for someone else-? Link doesn’t get it.

But he sure as heck can’t stay on campus anymore. It’s embarrassing. Most of the other students there think he’s a professor as it is; and bunking with kids half his age has been a nightmare.

Not because he can’t identify with them per say, but because he just-? He wants to interact with people on the same wavelength as him.

And no way is this Greek God and he on the same wavelength. No doubt the guy’s an actor. Almost everyone in LA is. And, no doubt, the guy has probably had some gigs. Several, if the house is anything to go by…

Maybe he lost a role recently? Maybe that’s why he needs the extra income? It’s the only thing Link can think of and he’s stupid enough to voice that, “It is a nice place, man, but I don’t see how I’ll be much help. What you’ve got here looks pretty well lived in. Take it you’ve been here solo for some time and I’m not sure how-?”

“I have,” Handsome admits and oh, that southern drawl. It makes Link think of home. How perfect can one man be? “And, frankly, I don’t need a roommate, but I’d like a roommate.”

“For parts? Like the Black Market?” Link can’t help but joke, and the guy throws his head back and laughs and oh, no…

…Yeah, Link can’t live with this man. It hasn’t even been a full day and Link is practically already in love with him. And thinking of the ‘him’ he forces himself to sheepishly ask, “Um, I, ah, forgot your name again...”

“It’s Rhett.”

Of course it is.

Rhett is such a romantic name.

Rhett Butler immediately springs to mind and Link sighs, “Look, Rhett – like I said, it is a nice place, but-!”

“I tell you what I’d expect in rent?” he asks and when he lists the price, Link decides that – besides being insanely attractive – that the guy is just insane in general.

The rent is cheap. Far, far cheaper than Link expected and it must show on his face, because Rhett shrugs, “Look, Link – I can’t say what it is, but I gotta feeling about you. I’ve met with a couple of potential roommates and, honestly, none of them have gone this far. I haven’t let ‘em. But there’s something about you…”

“My natural charm?” Link asks, but he’s sort of giggly and weird when he does and oh, gosh – why is he so awkward? Isn’t he too old for this? Don’t you reach a certain age and awkwardness just…drops off?

But apparently not and, apparently, Rhett isn’t turned off by it, because he gives him a warm grin, “Might be.”

“Rhett…”

“Might be the accent to be honest,” he confesses, seeming almost shy and that should be illegal, because it just highlights how cute he is, “I’m from North Carolina and it just-!”

“Hey!” Link perks up, “Me too!”

“Really?” Rhett gushes and Link nods, “Yeah, Buies Creek.”

“Oh! My family and I almost moved there! Ended up in Charlotte instead!”

“Wow! Crazy! What are the odds!” And Link hates every cliched thing coming out of his mouth right now, but he can’t seem to stop and Rhett just looks so damned pleased.

As if his feeling about Link is right on the money and Link wishes it was, but this can’t possibly work. Can it? And just as Link is about to voice that, Rhett suddenly looks…apprehensive. Fidgety.

And Link’s caught a bit off guard by it, because – up until now – he’s been so cool. Cool and collected. But now Rhett runs a hand through his thick mane of hair and sighs as if a great weight is upon him, “Ah…actually, I, ah, well – I forgot…”

Here it is. Link’s been waiting for this. The big secret. The big reason someone as amazing as Rhett would need someone like him. Maybe it is the Black Market thing. Link has some nice organs. Real juicy. Maybe revealing his background has made the big guy feel bad – like he can’t carve up a fellow North Caroliner.

Rhett rocks on his heels, “I told you, none of the other potential roommates made it this far and…there’s a reason for that. Even the one or two I kinda considered…well, I, um, I told them what I do for a living and that’s when things sort of fell apart…”

…oh shit. He IS a Black Market organ dealer!

Link’s Adam’s apple bobs as he looks around skittishly. The house is big and they’re alone in it. He’s been so distracted by how hot Rhett is that he hasn't even thought about that fact.

Until now.

What if the other potentials didn’t get this far because they got cut up beforehand? Maybe the whole roommate thing is a farce! Maybe it’s a con! A con to draw people in and-!

“I work in the entertainment industry.”

Link blinks. Blinks and feels like the dumbest man on planet earth as he says, “Well, yeah. You and half of LA. Heck, I’m here trying to get into film myself! Do some directing or sound editing or-!”

“No,” Rhett says firmly, smoothly, meeting Link’s eyes head on as he says in a full deep register, “When I say I work in the industry, I mean it. I’ve, um, had a pretty healthy and…and long career…”

“Really?” Link asks, eyes wide behind his glasses, “Have I seen anything you’ve-?”

“Doubt it,” Rhett interrupts with a humorless huff, “You don’t seem the type. But then,” he eyes him thoughtfully, “I’ve been surprised before…”

Link doesn’t know why he’s being so cagey about this, “What’ve you-?”

“My resume is…” Rhett finally looks away, as if he can’t bear to look at Link when he says it, “…of the adult variety.”

“The adult-?” Link starts to repeat and then it clicks. It clicks and it hits him so hard over the head it’s like a physical blow. The house, the handsomeness – the…everything.

Rhett looks back at him, jaw firmly set as he speaks, “Look, it’s not that I’m ashamed of what I do. Far from it. It’s just a job and it’s one I happen to be good at. But it’s also one that people in polite society aren’t too keen on and considering you’re from my home state you might-!”

“Porn?” Link croaks out and he feels a little like he might faint, “You’re a porn star?”

Rhett just kind of shrugs and the reason Link feels lightheaded has nothing to do with his shock at the man’s career and everything to do with the fact that Link has only seen a few porn films and none of them have ever stared someone so breathtakingly beautiful. The idea that Rhett has been in something like that…

Heat suffuses through Link’s system with equal mixes of lust and shame. Lust because, well, look at Rhett and shame because Link doesn’t want to just view the man as a sex object, Granted, that’s kind of his job, but it just seems…rude.

While Link doesn’t know Rhett well, he knows him well enough at this point to say he’s just a regular guy. An extremely gorgeous regular guy, but a regular guy all the same.

Thinking of him in simple black and white just doesn’t do him justice. So he’s a porn star. So what? He’s nice and this place is amazing and the rent suggested is fantastic and-!

“Take it by your silence you’re gonna decline…”

“No!” Link cuts in quickly and Rhett’s eyes shoot to him, wide and amazed, and Link feels a little sense of superiority at that. At catching this giant off guard, “No, uh – your…your profession isn’t a problem.”

“It’s not?”

“Well, I mean,” Link looks around once more, "You don’t-? You don’t film here, do you?”

The laugh that booms out of Rhett at that makes Link’s toes curl with pleasure, “Nah, man. This place is sacred. Like to keep my personal and professional life separate.”

“And…” Link scratches at the back of his head, “And you won’t, like…bring over a-a partner or partners and-!”

“Don’t have one,” Rhett admits and then the sexiest crinkles form around his eyes, “Although I gotta say, that’s about the slickest way anyone’s ever asked me if I was single…”

The heat from before returns full blast, no doubt coloring Link’s cheeks pure red and it comes completely from shyness, an emotion he is much more familiar with than most, “Oh, no! I-I wasn’t-!”

“Think you were asking if I do some weird sex shit here in the house of the personal variety and, again, no. You work in my field you kinda lose a bit of a taste for it.”

“For sex?”

Rhett nods, “And for a lot of things. It’s like I said – I'd like a roommate. Mainly ‘cause I’ve been feeling a little…disconnected of late. Feel like I need someone in my life who isn’t in the business. Someone I can just, y’know…” his shoulders roll and he bobs about a bit, clearly bashful, “…jam with.”

“Someone on your wavelength…” Link whispers and suddenly, Rhett’s idea that Link might be someone worth keeping around feels totally legitimate. Because Link is suddenly reciprocating it and then some. Because Link's starting to have a feeling about him too.

A feeling that this could work.

It really could.

And, this in mind, Link asks, “When can I move in?”

[h2bakugou]

celebrating 1 year of h2bakugou | pumpkin patch date

a/n: we made it! it’s been a year since we launched h2bakugou as a side-tumblr account that has flourished into what i consider my job! 

-

on october 10th, 2019 i published my masterlist and my first fic on h2bakugou, and my first mha fic, ‘match’stick.

i continued to write throughout october and eventually i hit 100 followers. on november 5th, 2019, i published a shinso fic titled ‘hanging out’ and then disappeared off the platform, only to return on january 21st, 2020.

over the time i had amassed over 700 followers. it was mind blowing to me. but i opened up requests and now, we’ve grown, and looking back, it’s been so much fun.

i promise this isn’t going to be much longer and you can get to all the yummy headcanons down below, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. when i started mha, i was just some fangirl who fell in love with characters and i combined something i loved with a hobby i had. 

thank you for the laughs, the tears, the joy, the happiness, all of it, i can’t wait to see what the future holds, h2bakugou isn’t just me as a writer, it’s all of us. i love you all so much <3

and thank you so so much for 4,500+ followers <3 !!

-

headcanon: them taking their s/o on a pumpkin patch date 

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

His goal by the end of this date is to bring home the biggest fucking pumpkin. I kid you not, this fool is going to be scouting the patch from the second he gets inside it.

It’s most likely a competition. You’re going to want a nice pumpkin to carve, so you look for one, and you find a nice, big one with plenty of room for a nice design.

Bakugou’s eyes land on your pumpkin as you heave it up into your arms and he’s like ‘oh hell nah.’

“Let me carry your-”

“Find your own pumpkin.” You stick your tongue out at him as you begin to rush back to where you purchase them and Bakugou begins to chase after you. He’d told you he was looking for a big pumpkin and while it had only just dawned on you that your pumpkin was great in size, you intended to keep this pumpkin.

Bakugou eventually gives up and settles for a slightly smaller pumpkin. He won’t admit defeat though. 

Later on the date, you two go on a hayride, and hold hands. The smell of pumpkin and fall seem to grow stronger as the day goes on.

After the hayride, there’s the corn maze. 

I hope you’re ready.

Because the winner, out of you and Bakugou, gets treated to lunch paid for by the loser, and gets bragging rights.

Bakugou is pissed when you dart of into the maze because clearly in the list of rules he’d laid out- yeah you stopped listening when he said rules and got a head start.

Bakugou is determined to find you, and without cheating. He sticks to the paths and eventually he can hear you laughing, because you can hear him shouting at the corn that keeps wacking him in the face as he tries to run through.

When he catches up to you, it’s too late. You’re already out of the maze and Bakugou is left dumbfounded. How did you complete it so fast?

“You followed me the whole time, I think you owe me two lunches.” You smile, hugging him as he stands at the exit of the maze.

“How-”

“Shh, let’s go get food, I’m starving.”

When you return back to the dorms, you head straight to Bakugou’s room. Lunch was great, all thanks to Bakugou paying.

You give Bakugou your big pumpkin and he’s hesitant at first.

“It’s yours. You found it-”

“Take it before I change my mind ‘Suki.” You lean up and give him a kiss on the cheek. He’s happy to carve some absurd picture into the pumpkin while you try your best to carve your own design.

A very successful October date.

»»————-　★　————-««

shoto todoroki

»»————-　★　————-««

Todoroki hasn’t been to a pumpkin patch in ages. He can’t remember the last time he went and actually had fun. But you were determined to make sure he had fun today.

You’d planned it all out, and you started with a hayride.

Sitting atop the hay, Todoroki sat close to you, his hand holding yours as the tractor began to move, pulling you along with everyone else in the open trailer.

“Do you know what you’re going to carve into your pumpkin?” You ask as you admire the fall scenery, taking in the lovely view of the color-changing leaves, the scent of pumpkin, and the sound of people running and having fun in the corn maze.

“I’ve never carved a pumpkin before.” Todoroki uttered, which blew your mind.

“You’ve never- Shoto Todoroki today you are carving a pumpkin.” You had a look of determination on your face.

After the hayride, you insisted on the corn maze, which Todoroki thought of as a challenge.

“So it’s a race.” Todoroki stood, looking at the entrance and the exit.

“No- it’s just a maze, but if you’d like to race, you can eat my dust!” You dart off into the maze and Todoroki charges after you. He’s smiling and happy. And that’s enough for you.

He catches up to you and traps you in a dead end you’d stumbled upon.

“Sho!” You smile and laugh as he hugs you. He pulls away ad leans to give you a quick kiss before darting off. You’re flustered but gather your senses as you try to locate the exit.

Todoroki makes it out first, but you’re close behind him. You congratulate him on his win and decide to head over to the pumpkin patch. 

Picking out a pumpkin was much more difficult than Todoroki had imagined. He was going to carve it, so he needed a good size for whatever he was carving.

He looked over and found you heaving a giant pumpkin in to your arms, a devious look on your face.

“That is a large pumpkin.” Todoroki states, trying not to laugh at you as you struggle to hold it in your arms.

“Which one are you getting?” You ask, heaving the pumpkin up onto your shoulder to carry it better.

Todoroki settles on a medium-sized pumpkin, with the perfect amount of space for a nice carving.

Taking them back to the dorms was easy, but you were not prepared for what was Todoroki carving a pumpkin.

He somehow managed to lose the top to his pumpkin after cutting it out, he got pumpkin guts everywhere, you were still finding seeds in the common room after you cleaned up.

But on the front porch of the dorms, sat your giant pumpkin carved with a spooky design next to Todoroki’s smiley-faced pumpkin.

»»————-　★　————-««

izuku midoriya

»»————-　★　————-««

Izuku is super excited. He’s all for carving a pumpkin and going on hayrides and much more.

When you arrive at the pumpkin patch, you decide to do the corn maze first. 

Izuku insists on completing it together, so you do. As you begin to walk through the rows of corn, trying to find the exit, you get lost a few times.

“Izuku I’ve seen this same stalk of corn before.” You laugh as you point at the corn stalk that had been bent in a funny way.

“Okay maybe we are going in circles.” Midoriya laughs as he stops to try and look for a different path.

When you finally make progress, Izuku wants to take a few pictures. Peaking out from the corn you smile as he snaps a picture of you, and you yank him into the corn for a cute picture together.

You kiss his cheek as he snaps the second picture. He’s a blushing mess, but it was worth it.

when you find the exit, you rush to it together, sprinting out of the maze.

Next is the hayride. Cozying up to Izuku, you admire the beautiful fall scenery as you ride along the pumpkin patch.

Laying your head on his shoulder, you’re happy to just be spending time with him. 

After the hayride, you head to the pumpkin patch to pick out your pumpkin. Izuku wants a nice-sized pumpkin, something he can have plenty of room to carve on.

You point to a green pumpkin and smile.

“Izu’ look! It’s a little Deku pumpkin.” You hold it up and giggle, Midoriya’s cheeks tinting red.

“Have you found a pumpkin yet?” Izuku asks, looking around until his eyes land on a good pumpkin.

“I think I like the little green one.” You hold it in your hands and walk with Izuku as he heads toward his pumpkin. It’s pretty big but he picks it up like it’s nothing.

Back at the dorms, carving the pumpkins is an adventure. Deciding to try and carve All Might, Midoriya is hard at work while you carve your pumpkin.

In the end, Izuku’s All Might is more of a stick figure with muscles. Nevertheless, they sit outside on the porch, lit with a candle setting the mood for fall.

»»————-　★　————-««

denki kaminari

»»————-　★　————-««

Kaminari is super excited as well. He’s up bright and early the morning of, surprisingly, and running out the door when it’s time to leave.

He wants to do the hayride first, and you sit beside one another, his arm around your shoulder. He holds you close to him as you admire the scenery.

He’s constantly making puns related to the change in season, and while they’re corny and simple, you love them.

“I guess you could say I’m really fall-ing for you.” Kaminari wiggles his eyebrows. You giggle and give him a peck on the cheek.

“You dork.” You smile and cozy up next to him for the remainder of the hayride.

After the hayride, you two go to pick out some pumpkins. Kaminari isn’t looking for the biggest pumpkin, but he definitely wants to impress you.

“This one’s the size of your head!” Kaminari lifts up a rather large pumpkin. Your eye twitches as you look at him.

“Wait shit, my bad! It’s the size of my head! My head! Your head is cute!”

The recovery is about as funny as the comparison he’d made but you decide to let it slide.

After settling on some medium-sized pumpkins, you set them in a safe place to come back to later so you can go and enjoy the corn maze.

When you enter the corn maze, the sun is shining. However, when you leave, the place is about to close, it’s dark, and all you’ve got when you leave is your phone flashlight which saved your life when it got dark.

Denki is nowhere to be found. 

He tried to be all funny and try and sneak off and scare you, but when you realize he’s not behind you after you told him it was time to exit the maze, you’re worried.

Darting back inside, you debate on calling for him or not. 

“Denki!” You call out, deciding it’d just be best to give yourself away in case he was trying to scare you.

“Denki come on, it’s not funny anymore, where are you?!” You yelled again.

“Boo!” He screams as he jumps out form between some corn. You let out a yelp and latch onto him.

“Asshole.” You mumble as you hug him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d still be able to scare you.”

“I was worried! You weren’t behind me and I-”

Kaminari hushed you with a kiss, his arms linking around your waist.

A bright light shone on your faces as the owner of the pumpkin patch called for you.

“We’re closing, come on and get out!” They yelled. 

Purchasing your pumpkins, you returned back to the dorms to carve them, and despite being a little upset at Kaminari for scaring you, you still cuddled beside him after passing out on the couch.

»»————-　★　————-««

eijiro kirishima

»»————-　★　————-««

Heading to the pumpkin patch clad in matching fall themed sweaters, Kirishima is going to spoil you.

He’s helping you carry the pumpkin you pick out when you look at all the pumpkins. He’s such a sweetheart.

He’s also going to have a lot of fun.

On the hayride, he’ll let you sit in his lap, which makes the ride that much more bumpy, you can’t count the amount of airtime you got and how much Kirishima laughed when you practically floated off his lap.

His arms hooked around your waist after the first few bumps to secure you, hugging you close to him.

After the hayride is the corn maze. And honestly like Kaminari, he could spend hours in there. Whether it be scaring you, or making a map of the place, he’s having fun as long as you are.

The first time you do the maze, you race one another. You finish first, although Kirishima was two steps behind you.

On the second run through, you go together. 

“I went this way!” You begin to pull him along but Kirishima doesn’t budge.

“I went this way.” Kirishima nodded toward the other path.

“Well who won?” You teased, following after him.

“I’d say we tied.” Kirishima replied, pulling you along the path. When the sun began to sink below the horizon, you tried to do the maze in the dark.

It was much more difficult than you thought. You bumped into Kirishima more times than you could count, and eventually you had to break out your flashlight.

And on the fourth time around, you entered the maze first and thirty seconds after, Kirishima entered to try and track you down.

It was slightly terrifying. Using your flashlight was sure to get you caught, but without it you could hardly see.

There were a few times where Kirishima had walked past you, where you had decided to try and hide rather than run away from him.

But when he found you, you had been cornered.

“Boo!” Kirishima yelled, scaring you. You jumped and let out a yelp as he gave you a hug, laughing it off.

“I got you!” He kissed your cheek as he held you close to him, smiling proudly.

“You didn’t have to scare me.” You smile, nuzzling into his chest.

“Let’s go carve some pumpkins.” Kirishima leads you out of the maze for the last time, having it memorized by now.

When you arrive back at the dorms to carve the pumpkins, it’s very late. 

Kirishima puts on a scary movie and the two of you carve away. 

You pass out in the common room, cuddled up on the couch after successfully placing your beautifully carved pumpkins on the porch.

»»————-　★　————-««

tamaki amajiki

»»————-　★　————-««

Tamaki is excited, and the entire date is hyped up by Mirio and Nejire. He’s happy to go on a date with you, albeit a bit nervous, but excited.

When he sees you, his heart flutters. You look beautiful in the autumn colors, and he’s falling even more in love with you as every second passes.

When you arrive at the pumpkin patch, you decide to go pick out your pumpkins first.

“Do you know what kind of pumpkin you want Tamaki?” You ask, holding his hand. Tamaki smiles at the warm feeling in his chest as you hold his hand.

“Something c-cute. Like you.” Tamaki complimented you. You let out a small laugh and hugged him.

“Well if that’s the logic, we’re both looking for cute pumpkins.” Complimenting Tamaki right back, you both head out to find pumpkins.

Tamaki returns with a tiny pumpkin, like comically tiny. It’s cute, and manageable.

“I’m going to name it Bunny. A-after you.”

Your heart melts at his action. You show him your pumpkin, which was on the medium sized scale, not huge, but enough for a small design if you wanted to carve it.

“I’ll name mine Suneater.” You lean and kiss his cheek.

After picking out your pumpkins, you decide to do the corn maze, which was a load of fun.

Tamaki’s hand in yours made you feel secure as the two of you navigated through the stalks of corn, trying to find the exit.

You probably spent an hour or so in it, just having fun and talking.

“Look! We did it! Tamaki we did it!” You smile and jump wit excitement as you exit the maze, giving him a short and sweet peck on his lips.

Tamaki blushed, his arms wrapping around your waist as he hugged you close to him during the unexpected kiss.

After, the two of you headed to the hayride. It was about 10 minutes long, and it gave you plenty of time to rest, even though you weren’t really tired, you cozied up to Tamaki as the ride started.

The leaves on the trees had changed color, each red, orange, and yellow leaf catching your attention as you enjoyed the faint scent of pumpkin in the air.

“It’s so beautiful.” You commented, holding Tamaki’s hand in your own. Tamaki nodded and nuzzled his head into your shoulder.

When the hayride was over, you purchased your pumpkins and headed back to the dorms.

Mirio and Nejire had agreed to carve pumpkins with you, and while Tamaki’s pumpkin was too small to carve, he definitely enjoyed helping the others.

Putting on a Halloween classic, you and Tamaki cozied up on his bed and fell asleep together.

»»————-　★　————-««

mirio togata

»»————-　★　————-««

Mirio has planned the entire thing out. He’s excited to spend the day with you. 

When you arrive at the pumpkin patch, he wants to ride the hayride first, insisting you sit on his lap. He wants to hold you, his hands intertwined with yours, taking in all the beautiful autumn scenery.

He’d given you one of his knitted sweaters to wear before going outside in the cool air. It looks good on you, and he can’t help but smile every time he looks at you.

“Do you have any idea of what kind of pumpkin you want to pick?” You ask, a soft smile on your lips. Mirio just hums, resting his head on your shoulder.

“One that’s cute, like you, sunshine!” Mirio kissed your cheek, a giggle escaping your lips.

“Mirio!” You snuggle into his arms as a cool breeze of wind blows by. 

Once the hayride is over, you head over to the pumpkin patch where you struggle to find a pumpkin.

You debate on something small or something big when Mirio approaches you holding a medium-sized pumpkin, perfectly round and ready to be carved.

“That’s like the perfect pumpkin how did you-”

“I thought you might like this one.” Mirio suggests, his eyes landing on another good one.

“But you found it, I-”

“It’s all yours, besides,” Mirio hands you the pumpkin before reaching and grabbing one that sat by your feet.

“This one looks more like me.” Mirio lifts the large and tall pumpkin up to his head and smiles.

“Did you just compare yourself to a pumpkin?” You smile whilst holding Mirio’s perfect pumpkin in your hands.

“I sure did.” Mirio laughs.

“You need help?” Mirio asks, motioning to your pumpkin. You shake your head and hoist it up into your arms with a better grip, walking around some more.

After picking out pumpkins it’s time to do the cornmaze. You decide to start seperately, racing to the end. You bump into each other a few times, and youe ven bust Mirio for following you.

“You’re cheating.” You pout standing in front of him.

“I was just following my dreams.” Mirio says smoothly. You sigh and place a kiss on his cheek before continuing off down the path you believed to be the exit.

Mirio follows suit and the two of you make it out at the same time.

“So much for a race.” You laugh. Mirio just waves his hand and hugs you from behind.

“Let’s go carve us some pumpkins!” He’s excited to get back and carve a pumpkin so you head on back to the campus.

Mirio carves a cute sun on his pumpkin and declares that it reminds him of you. It sits outside the dorm alongside yours, Tamaki’s and Nejire’s.

»»————-　★　————-««

hawks/keigo takami

»»————-　★　————-««

Avoiding paparazzi, it took you a bit of time to get into the pumpkin patch, but once you were in, you were in.

Hawks was trying to be smooth, acting tough and trying to carry each pumpkin you laid eyes on.

“I can carry my own pumpkin.” You smile, reaching down and picking up one of the largest ones you could find.

“Oh yeah?” Hawks went to grab it and immediately felt his arms drop as the pumpkin was way heavier than he expected. His feathers came to aid, lifting he pumpkin back up and saving it from cracking open on impact.

“Way to go, handsome.” You tease, deciding his feathers were fine to hold it if they so wished too.

“Hey-”

You shut Hawks up with a kiss, holding onto the edges of his fur lined jacket. He’d come straight from work, but he didn’t mind. As long as he was spending time with you, he could care less when or where it happened.

Hawks wasn’t complaining. He kissed you back and smiled, pulling away with a goofy grin on his lips.

You hiked over to the hayride next, hopping on some hay bales, you cozied up to Hawks, resting under one of his wings which hugged you closer to him.

As the tractor tugged the attached trailer which you and Hawks sat on along, you gazed at the beautiful pumpkin patch. It was simple and easy on the eyes with the beautiful and cute decorations set up for the fall season, as well as a few Halloween themed decorations.

“It’s so beautiful.” You commented, resting your head on Hawks. Hawks smiled and slid his hand in yours.

“Not as beautiful as you.” He cooed, thinking he was being smooth.

“Did you practice that one in the mirror?” You tease. You did love Hawks cheesy pick up lines that you’d heard a million times before, it was what made them that much better honestly. 

“You’re the one dating me.” Hawks mumbled, placing a short kiss on your head, mumbling something into your hair.

“Hm? What was that?” You ask, glancing up at you.

“I love you.” Hawks smiles at you. You return a smile and return to gazing at the scenery.

After the hayride, you take on the maze. Hawks is determined to finish it in some high score, but you want to enjoy it. 

Getting lost and hitting dead ends is what makes a maze that much better. It can be frustrating, but you enjoy it.

Hawks ushers yo down several paths that all end up back at the same place, and in the end, you lead him out of the maze.

“I had that down, babybird.” Hawks tries to reassure you that he had figured it out but you just laugh.

“Sure you did.” You smile, giving him a peck on the cheek.

You return back to his home and set up for pumpkin carving, promising to spend a little more time together before he eventually gets called back in for hero work.

You both fall asleep on the couch after carving, wore out and tired from a long day.

»»————-　★　————-««

dabi

»»————-　★　————-««

Villains have to be on the low about things. Dabi couldn’t waltz out in the public freely, he’d be spotted. So he has to go disguised.

At least, if you go during the day, that is.

Breaking into the pumpkin patch was way easier than it should’ve been, and for the first thirty minutes, Dabi was on edge, thinking that something was bound to go wrong and that you’d be caught up with him.

But alas, the night carried on and the chirping of crickets and other various nighttime creatures kept the chilling silence away.

“Alright baby, where do you want to go?” Dabi asks coolly, resting an arm around your shoulder. You nudge him toward the corn maze. 

It’s a race to the end the first time, but the second time around, Dabi wants to play hide and seek.

You’re it first, searching around for your villain companion, but you couldn’t even come close to finding him...until you notice a faint blue glow.

Creeping up on him, you decide to scare him.

It doesn’t entirely go that great.

Your face feels hot as a blue flame erupts in your field of view.

“Shit! Don’t do that!” Dabi curses, quickly extinguishing his quirk from further roasting you alive.

“I scared you though I totally got you!” You laughed, not at all bothered by the fact that he nearly singed you.

“Baby, you’re gonna regret that, because now I’m it.” Dabi’s voice was low and husky as towered over you. You smiled and leaned up, kissing his lips before darting off to go hide.

Your spot is pretty solid, hiding in a dead end, behind a few thick stalks of corn. You think you’re safe seeing as how you don’t even remember seeing this portion of the maze so how or why would Dabi come back here.

Everything’s going great until you hear things snapping and breaking behind you. You whip around to investigate but your back is forced to the ground as you look above you.

Dabi’s cerulean eyes peer down at you as a smirk dawns his lips. 

“Got you, baby.” Dabi kisses you passionately, his hands resting on the ground on each side of you.

When the make out is over, you both sit up and decide to go pick out a pumpkin. You can’t go on a hayride since that’d make a lot of noise and probably alert someone that people were here when they shouldn’t be, but Dabi promises to make it up to you.

Remind him to ask Tomura for a tractor. He can write it off as a league business expense or something.

Picking out a pumpkin was much more difficult. Dabi found his in a matter of seconds, ready to head back and get to carving. He was actually pretty excited about the whole thing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed the fall season, or Halloween. 

He waited on you to pick out a pumpkin, watching as you searched for the perfect one.

You settled on a rather large pumpkin, something you could carve a rather large design into. You wanted to really go all out, and you wanted to try and show Dabi up.

Pumpkin carving was a hidden talent of yours.

Returning back to wherever the league was stationed this time, you and Dabi got to work.

Toga and Twice stopped by to watch as you carved away, giving some input and cheering you on as you tried to beat Dabi in some sort of pumpkin carving challenge.

“Shigaraki! Can you judge our pumpkins! You’ll decide whose is the best.” You call out to your ‘boss’ and smile.

“Whatever.” Shigaraki mumbles, trotting over to examine your pumpkin beside Dabi’s.

After way to long, Shigaraki decides to give you the win. Dabi is pissed after all the effort he put into it, but you assure him his pumpkin is amazing.

A blue flame flickers on the candles you placed inside your carved pumpkins and you cuddle next to Dabi a little more that night to make up for his loss.

»»————-　★　————-««

overhau/kai chisaki

»»————-　★　————-««

Chisaki wanted to spend time with you, and althhough he was a villain, he had connections that set up a rather autumn-themed date. he was taking you to a pumpkin patch.

He’d lent you his flufy green and purple jacket to wear, and he couldn’t deny that it looked adorable on you.

His gloved hand resided in yours as you walked through the cornmaze.

It was something he’d never really understood, but seeing the excitement on your face as you begged him to go through it with you, he decided to go along with it.

A few other members of the Shie Hassaikai were scattered around, making sure the place was empty, and keep an eye out for heroes and such.

“Which way do you think we should go?” You’d stopped at a forked path, confused at which way to go.

“This path looks like it loops back around.” Chisaki commented, the first path did turn whilst the second path seemed to go traight and then curve back right.

“Second path it is!” You tug Chisaki along with you. when you reach the end, you give him a brisk hug and jump around with excitement.

“That wasn’t so bad.” Chisaki glanced back at the cornmaze, throughly impressed with how difficult it had actually been.

There was no one around to give the hayride so you had to miss out, but walking to the pumpkin patch itself was more than enough. 

All the leaves had changed colors and the wind smelled like cinnamon and nutmeg.

Picking out a pumpking was fairly difficult. You wanted to carve something on it, but you didn’t know if you should pick the biggest one or something managable.

“Are you picking one Chisaki?” You ask, watchig as his amber eyes gazed around the field.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.” Chisaki sighs, bending down to pick up one he’d been staring at. It was a fairly large pumpkin. He held it carefully in his gloved hands, grimacing at the dirt that stained the white fabric.

You’d decided on a pumpkin and brought it back with you, excited to get back to the base and carve it.

Chisaki wasn’t excited about the mess, but watching you carve a design into the pumpkin took his mind off of it. He was happy just watching you be happy.

He didn’t carve his although you asked if he wanted help with carving it. 

They sat outside his room in the base, a small candle lit inside yours to illuminate the carving.

»»————-　★　————-««

tomura shigaraki

»»————-　★　————-««

Like Dabi, the two of you can’t exactly go to a pumpkin patch in broad daylight. Tomura is a wanted criminal, and since you’re associated with him, you’re not gonna get away entirely scot-free either.

So, a little breaking and entering never hurt anyone, and it was very mild compared to the things Tomura usually did.

Also similar to Dabi, the hayride is out of the question, but Tomura claims he can take you for a drive any day, all you have to do is ask, that is if  you feel safe with Tomura behind the wheel.

Picking out pumpkins first, you and Shigaraki tackle the patch together. It’s a struggle to find one you like, and even more so, to find one Shigaraki likes.

Carving it is really up to you, but whether you chose to carve it later or not, you want to pick one out.

“What about this one?” You ask, heaving a large on up into your arms. Shigaraki’s eyes land on the bright orange pumpkin in your grasp and suddenly it’s the single pumpkin that he wants.

“I want it.” Shigaraki mumbles. You let out a giggle and walk toward him.

“It’s heavy.”

“I can handle it.”

“Careful!” You transfer it to his grasp, rolling it into his arms. His upper body droops as he catches it, struggling to hold it without decaying it at his touch.

“I got it.” Shigaraki hisses, clearly struggling. The pumpkin begins to slip and you’re able to snake your arms under it just in time.

“How about we share one?” Your soft expression calms Shigaraki’s growing anger. With a nod, you place the pumpkin somewhere so you can head to the corn maze, the part Tomura was looking forward too.

“It’s like a stage from a video game.” Tomura began trying to think of all the possible ways to clear the maze, but with your hand carefully wrapped in his, you began pulling him along.

Tomura wouldn’t say it out loud, but when you held his hand, or trusted him in general with things like touch, he felt much closer to you. 

He didn’t feel so distant, he knew you weren’t scared of him, and that’s what he treasured.

“It’s this way.” Shigaraki’s sense were just leading you in all sorts of directions.

“Tomura, if we pass this little circle path again-”

“I know I know.” Shigaraki tugs you in another direction and sure enough, the exit comes into sight.

“We did it!” You hug him, pulling his face down closer to yours, pressing your lips on his gently.

Kissing you back, Tomura’s hands travelled to your hips, tilting his head ever so slightly to the side, deepening the kiss.

Returning back to the hideout, you set up to carve the pumpkin in your shared room.

Tomura gives some input on what you should carve and you get to work.

When the night is over, you’ve got a pumpkin carved sitting on the broken kitchen table for the rest of the league to admire when they stop by.

»»————-　★　————-««

eraserhead/shota aizawa

»»————-　★　————-««

Aizawa isn’t a big media fan, so he’ll try to avoid paparazzi or media at all costs. 

Taking you out on a little fall date was Hizashi’s plan, and Aizawa actually liked the sound of going to a pumpkin patch.

The first thing the two of you do is the hayride. It’s short and simple, you sit next to Aizawa, holding his hand as the two of you cozy up when a cool breeze blows.

Sho’s hair is tied back from when you were playing with it on the couch prior to leaving for the date, he just never took it down. It was a good look on him, anything was really.

“Thanks for taking me out.” You smile and kiss his cheek. It wasn’t rare to go out on a date, but you both preferred to be inside when it came to dates, whether it be ordering takeout and watching a movie, or attempting to cook a meal to have together.

“Of course.” Aizawa pressed a kiss of his own to your cheek, smiling against your skin.

The hayride was over in about ten minutes which gave you plenty of time to explore the patch.

Next you went off to the corn maze where you got lost. 

It wasn’t supposed to happen, but having so much fun, you lost track of where you were going, and somehow, you’d lost Shota along the way.

When you were finally reunited, an all black kitten laid in Shota’s arms.

“Sho...”

“It was all alone. Am I a hero if I can’t save-”

“It’s so cute!” You smiled, approaching the small kitten slowly. It warmed up to the both of you quite quickly, and it seemed to like Aizawa a lot.

Cradling it in his arms, Sho attempted to show you the way out. You followed behind.

Making it out of the maze, you headed toward the pumpkin patch, keeping the kitty some what hidden. Sho had every intention of taking it home with you, and you certainly didn’t have anything against it.

Picking out some pumpkins was easy, you settled for a pretty medium-sized pumpkin while Aizawa picked up something small, able to sit on his desk and not take up too much space so he could still sleep.

Getting the kitten home was Sho’s next top priority, right next to giving you a kiss before it got to crowded again.

Sneaking a kiss on your lips in the middle of the ‘deserted’ pumpkin patch, he kissed you tenderly, stroking the kitten in his arms as he did so.

Returning home, you pulled out the food bowls and filled one with some water and another with kitty food. Thanks to Sho having a habit of bringing home strays and nursing them up, you had quite the collection of cat toys, food, and other random assorted pet items.

“Are we going to name it?” You asked, sitting beside Aizawa on the floor as you watched the kitten eat. 

“You wanna keep it?” Aizawa questioned.

“I think we could handle another one.” You smile as one of your other cats comes pouncing into your lap, resting on your thighs as you pet it’s back.

“Alright then, how about Pumpkin?” The name was cliché but you loved it. Resting your head on Sho’s shoulder, you smiled as you enjoyed the rest of your fall themed evening.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “The Final Word”

Well, we made it to the finale, everyone, and if you're reading this it seems you've survived the watching of it too. Barely. To say that some questionable choices were made across these 20 minutes is... an understatement.

But before we delve into the episode, I want you to cast your mind back to November 7th, 2020. A horrible year that heralded a horrible RWBY volume. There, coming off the shaky writing of Volume 7, I posed a number of questions and concerns that the show needed to tackle, with the promise that we would return to these expectations in four months time. Now, here we are! Let's refresh everyone's memory, yeah?

Taken directly from that recap, what RWBY promised us, through various teasers and Q&As, included:

Emphasis on Ruby’s leadership and how Summer’s death has impacted her

Insight into Ren and Nora’s flaws

May Merigold will supposedly have a larger part

More information about The Long Memory (Ozpin’s cane)

Theme of the volume is that you can respect someone but that doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with them

Very short timeline (supposedly just two days)

Yang in particular is very suspicious and distrustful

And you know what? They did all this. In the spirit of being fair and honest to this show, RWBY succeeded in delivering on everything they promised... it was just our foolishness that expected that these ideas would be delivered well. Ruby's leadership took center stage in the form of her hiding for multiple episodes and then others telling her she's still The Best before the plot dropped a solution into her lap... one she could have used at any point prior to this. Summer's death certainly has an impact, though it's an impact born of a crazy reveal that Summer likely isn't dead, but turned into a horrifying grimm monster. Ren and Nora both delve into their flaws, but heaven forbid either grow from that reflection. Ren learns that if he pushes past his primary flaw of keeping his emotions buried and actually expresses his doubts for once, he'll be yelled at and ignored until he admits how wrong he was. The "real" flaw is being a bad friend, with "bad friend" equaling "Not agreeing with Ruby 100%." Meanwhile, Nora considers that maybe she shouldn't rush in recklessly and hit things with her hammer... which is why she rushes in recklessly, hits something with her hammer, gets grievously injured, and is told that this is just who she truly is. No growth there, not unless we count her sudden desire to figure out who she is without Ren... but that exploration hasn't started yet. Too bad she wasn't the teammate separated at the end of the volume!

Meanwhile, May did indeed have a larger role to play, one I quite liked, it's just that this role — like all the others — inevitably circled back to realizing how wonderful Ruby is. May challenges Ruby to make a decision, but instead of being the catalyst for Ruby's growth, May becomes another forgotten side character who does a sudden about-turn regarding her perspective, leaving the group with the contradictory message that Ruby is actually doing her best, she's just a kid, no need to try any harder... everyone who claimed otherwise up until now was mistaken. May is another Cordovin. She's another Qrow. She's another Maria.

Fun fact: we don't even know if Maria is alive right now. That's how little she means to the show!

Actually, wait... anyone remember this nonsense from Volume 7? 

I was too lazy to change the date.

Moving on, Ozpin's cane turned out to be a stakes obliterating bomb that came out of nowhere, makes no sense logistically — how do battles store energy that only hurts grimm? — yet nevertheless seems to have killed Hazel? It's a disaster of unanswered questions. Similar to the disaster of our two day timeline when, I'm fairly sure, we've had an unnatural number of sunrises and sunsets. I'll have to take a look back at the volume as a whole now that it's complete to be sure of that though. As for our themes... did we really explore the idea of respecting someone even if you disagree with them? Because Ironwood wasn't shown any respect. Ren wasn't shown respect. I think the closest we got was Oscar calmly validating Yang's worry about getting buddy-buddy with Emerald, but the whole point there was that Yang was wrong. She wasn't wrong, but that's what the text would have you believe. She is indeed "very suspicious and distrustful," but that's hardly unjustified in these circumstances. I'm still boggling at the fact that it took the group three volumes for forgive Ozpin, even while he was actively working to assist them, yet I-helped-destroy-Beacon-and-tried-to-kill-everyone-you-love Emerald is the group's new BFF after she... ran away with Oscar? She didn't save him, she just went along for the ride. At the very least we might have gotten a scene where Penny was like, "Hey, why are you all laughing with the woman who just tried to kill my dad?"

But oh yeah, the story doesn't remember Pietro exists either. His daughter is DEAD and he hasn't been on screen since Episode Five, let alone there when she passes.

I had my own list going in, including such expectations as "Ozpin bb you got done dirty please acknowledge this" and "Queer baiting, queer baiting… you’re on thin ice at this point, RWBY. Just skate on over to the queer snack bar before you fall straight into the lake." Obviously these needs were not met.

So what, given this mess of expectations, did we end up with?

Our finale — for some reason — breaks the one word title trend with "The Final Word." It's an expression that refers to the final word in an argument or a discussion, the idea of winning by making a last, devastating point. It can also refer to making the final decision on something, which is the best way I'm able to apply the title to this episode (outside of any “final” comparisons). Penny's death is certainly all about choice and making some kind of decision... but on the whole, this title doesn't feel like it fits well. Not like "Worthy" or "Creation" or "Risk." The two latter titles had obvious connections to the episode in question through dialogue and plot, while the former was a deliberate callback to Watts' speech. "The Final Word" feels... less obvious in what it’s trying to say.

That's a minor nitpick though. Let's get into the meat of the episode.

We open on the grimm whale still disappearing, which is weird. I get that it's massively bigger than any other grimm we've seen, but they all turned to dust near instantaneously and it's been, what? At least an hour since Oscar blew it up? Likely longer when we factor in their walk back to the manor, the fight with Ironwood, fixing Penny, and this entire evacuation. It certainly makes for a nice visual, but like so many details in RWBY, it raises unnecessary questions along the way.

The important bit though is that amidst the whale carcass a blob of evil is swirling about. Salem, obviously. 

She’s not reforming in time to actually do anything though, don't worry.

Instead, we cut to the Ironwood vs. Winter fight and there's at least some dialogue this time. Ironwood yells that he's sacrificed everything to keep Remnant safe. Winter yells back that he actually sacrificed everyone else. Obviously, Ironwood should be called out for things like, you know, his unprompted murders, but instead they have Winter listing stuff that she was never shown to have a problem with before. The embargo? "Squeezed Mantle until it broke?" She, as Ironwood's second hand, understood and supported both the decision to close the border and the need to collect resources for a plan designed to take out Salem. I hate that no only did she turn without an ounce of hesitation or grief, but now they're having her act as if Ironwood forced these decisions on everyone, rather than everyone supporting him through them. We all remember Volume 7 when Ruby pressured him to finish Amity, right? And in trust RWBY fashion, most of these words are meaningless. Mantle "broke"? What does that mean? The class disparity did not come about through Ironwood: that's been in the works for generations. The lack of resources made things harder, yes, but when they were reclaimed by Robyn nothing improved. Watts is the one who turned off the heat and Salem attacked Atlas, leaving Mantle alone. Now, all the citizens have escaped through magical portals. So how is Mantle "broken" exactly? More importantly, why is Winter upset over this vague, nonsensical dilemma when she could be yelling about Ironwood wanting to bomb Mantle?

Again: this woman watched Ironwood shoot the councilman, shrugged, and continued to believe in him up until she realized his bomb threat was real. That was one of the main reasons why I thought the councilman might be alive, with Ironwood only shooting a warning shot past him. Because this is how you react to a good person unexpectedly killing someone else

whereas this is what we got from Winter and Harriet.

Hell, Weiss has more of a reaction to Yang telling Ruby things aren't super great right now.

So either Ironwood didn't do something that bad, thereby justifying these tame reactions (unlikely, given where his character ended up), or we should believe based on the animation that everyone was super chill with him killing an unarmed civilian. Which is then directly contradicted when they're like, "You're going to shoot Marrow? Bomb a city?? How could you do such horrible things??? 😲" Friends, buddies, fictional pals... you already watched him murder a dude.

The point is, there's a lot for Winter to be upset about, but she's not upset about that. There's a lot that Winter herself believed in, but the writing has forgotten that. This entire arc went off the rails a volume ago.

Also, why is Ironwood fighting with that giant gun? This is his final battle, presumably ever, and he's wielding this awkward, sluggish weapon we saw him randomly pick up two episodes ago? Let him use his regular guns! Give us a fantastic battle like he had with Watts! Instead, RWBY's final showdown consists of him using this no-name weapon as a unwieldy club in some of the most boring choreography we've seen to date. It doesn't help that this fight needs to share time with three others. Instead of an epic showdown, we're given glimpses of the battle before continually cutting away from it. 

During that first cut we return to the Team RWBY battle where Penny, doing her best to stay out of Cinder's reach, is whisked away on Weiss' wasp.

Too bad she didn't do that for Yang...

Jaune and Nora watch this horror unfold until Jaune says, "Priority one!" and they split. Except... what is priority one exactly? Helping the civilians? I guess, because they don't enter the fight until the very end of it, when everyone else seems to have made it to Vacuo. And you know what, I like that. For once it feels like the group — or at least the B Team — is acting like huntsmen, putting the needs of the people over their own, personal desires. I'm sure Nora wants to help the group after Yang's (presumed) demise and that Jaune would like nothing more than to get his hands on Cinder, but they put those grievances aside to do the work they signed up for. Good job!

My only real gripe is that we don't really see this struggling in the animation, I'm just assuming it's there. In particular, there's a moment when Jaune sends Nora through the portal for reinforcements — not knowing they can't return — and they seem a little too jovial when, by this point, three friends have died.

There's letting your cast be supportive, and then there's having them ignore that three teammates have perished in an abyss. It really doesn't help to sell the idea that Yang, Ruby, and Blake are in any danger here.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Penny tells Weiss that since Cinder is really just after the Maiden powers, she can buy the rest of the group time to escape. Weiss, obviously, isn't fond of this idea... and then the both of them are blasted off the wasp by Cinder's fire. Which they deserve, frankly. They're just having this casual conversation about sacrifice while in the middle of a battle. Did they somehow forget that Cinder can fly too?

Note that multiple attacks from Cinder, another blast, and a hard landing on the pathway gives their auras a knock, but doesn't break them. The primary defense for Yang's aura shattering in a single, simple hit was that everyone is exhausted and running on little to no power... yet here the rest of the cast is, tanking multiple hits as we've come to expect. There is no explanation for Yang's defeat except that the writers chose to ignore the rules of their world for a dramatic death scene... even though that drama was erased a week later as half our team falls into the void too.

We'll get to that though. For now, Cinder corrects Penny's belief with "I want it all" and proceeds to try to finish them off, only for Blake to arrive, having made her choice from last episode about who to help. It's a legitimately nice attack, but I happened to pause at the bEST MOMENT

Anyway.

We leave that fight to return to Qrow and Harriet who have, off screen, started an entirely different battle. What I mean is, last we saw Qrow had broken through the windshield of the airship, roughly pinned Harriet, and was taunting her about getting the fight she wanted. Now, suddenly, he's going “You’re making a mistake, Harriet, what happened to Clover—” as if he's been trying to talk her down this whole time. It's jarring, especially when we consider that Qrow had a volume long "kill Ironwood" arc that was dropped because... Robyn reminded him that murder is bad? RWBY feels like a storytelling pinball machine. Characters bounce from one personality to the next, one perspective and another, round and round until you don't know where they'll end up.

Harriet screams for Qrow to just shut up already and honestly? Same. I love Qrow, he's one of my favorites, but I can't deny that he's been done dirty like so many others since Volume 6. I love who Qrow was, not the mess RWBY has created the last few years.

Time to delve back into fic after recapping!

Sadly though, this strange dialogue wasn't the only "wtf" moment. Harriet is still trying to drop the bomb — which is its own mess of confusing motivations — when Vine and Elm show up on Harriet's ship. Elm begs Harriet not to do this "because you’re our friend!”

Am I glad that they finally acknowledged that the Ace Ops have always been friends? Sure, but why did we spend two volumes claiming otherwise? They were friends, a fantastic team, then Harriet announces that's a lie and we get a bunch of "Team RWBY is superior because they're actually friends" messages. Except this entire time we're still watching the Ace Ops be kind and playful with one another. But they're not friends, the story says. Not friends as they fight these battles. Not friends as they grieve for Clover. Definitely not friends as they react in horror at Ironwood nearly shooting Marrow. No, there's nothing there... until Elm claims there is! Then Harriet reacts in shock. I have friends?

Except Elm was labeled the one "just following orders" by Yang. Elm is the one who shook off Vine after the whale exploded. This isn't the story of one character, Harriet, thinking she was alone and then realizing that people do care for her, this is a story that, seemingly at random, had this group being BFFs or acting like they hated each other — and at each point the visuals are contradicted by the story's message. When they act like friends, we're told they're not friends. When they don't act like friends, we're told they really have been this whole time. I mean, do any of them even care that Marrow teamed up with Qrow and Robyn to take them out five minutes ago? All three were going along with Ironwood's scheme until they were physically stopped, but now Elm is convinced this is a bad decision she needs to talk Harriet down from with the power of friendship?

None of these characters are characters, they're just slapped together reactions based on whatever the plot needs. Who is Elm? I've got no clue. Her personality changes every episode.

Also, love that Qrow moves to stop the bomb from dropping and Harriet screams at him to "Get out of the way!" rather than just... attacking him? She even throws her hands out like she's having a temper tantrum. This feels like schoolyard bickering, not a life or death struggle.

Even though, you know, the audience is aware that the people of Mantle have already been evacuated and Qrow's group is aware that Atlas is falling on top of Mantle as they speak, so... why does the bomb matter? It's going to, what? Destroy the city thirty seconds before Atlas does? Oh no, the horror.

Things then, if you can believe it, get even worse. The bomb is still about to drop, so instead of doing anything to stop it — I mean seriously, we know it takes four people to shoulder the bomb's weight, but you're telling me Qrow and a reformed Harriet can't snag it in a pinch? — Qrow sits there, looks at Clover's pin... and the bomb careens towards the side of the airship instead, stopping.

Because I guess Qrow has good luck now? Or always did and somehow never noticed it? Or his semblance evolved?? Again, we don't know, but it's a bad moment any way you slice it, imo. Qrow has always been defined as the guy with a bad luck semblance and, much like Penny's android struggles, the allure was in watching him overcome those challenges, not having the show erase the challenge entirely. Especially when we don't even understand how it was erased. Qrow just... stops drinking, stops caring for Ironwood, stops wanting to kill Ironwood, stops causing bad luck, I guess. RWBY takes major character traits and flips them off like a light switch, leaving the audience with no emotional tether. We didn't watch Qrow overcome his drinking, or realize he can't bear to kill Ironwood, or discover a way to live life with the horrible hand he was dealt, he just blinks one day and those things are gone. Why? No one is sure. Not even the writers, I'd wager, because otherwise they would have written explanations into the text.

Many in the fandom insist that any basic information provided by the story amounts to "hand holding" when in fact there is a massive difference between the sort of unnecessary exposition that bogs down a tale, and having facts enough for the audience in its entirety to be on the same page about what is actually happening. For example, recently someone argued strongly that the "Penny is human" take is incorrect because Penny isn't human, she has an inhuman body made entirely of aura... yet where in the world does this exist in the story? Ambrosius may have been unsure about what Penny would be prior to removing her robotic parts, but that ambiguity is gone once her body forms, the equivalent of worrying about that gun only for a flag with 'BANG' to appear instead of a bullet. Worrying about something doesn't mean that something actually occurred. Penny appears human, expresses human sentiments, and then, this episode, dies as a human. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck and succumbs to the mortal peril that all ducks face... it's probably a duck. As I said in a recent ask, I implore the fandom to stop writing RWBY's scripts for them. Or rather, do so in some amazing fanfics. Don't do it on critical posts as a means of insisting that your revision is canon.

So Qrow has good luck now, maybe, but this character change doesn't amount to anything because Watts remotely starts the bomb's countdown.

At least he’s entertaining and competent. We had that for a time. 

Back to the main battle, Neo is kicking Ruby's ass. Why? Because there's no consistency in power levels in this show. The ancient woman who hasn't fought in decades dances circles around Neo, highlighting how weak she supposedly is, yet now Neo dances circles around our main character. None of us should expect fights to follow the logic of the world, only what drama the plot wants to stir up. Ruby is eventually knocked down from a hard hit — yet her aura's intact! — and is saved at the last second by Weiss tossing Neo into one of the portals. 

Far more of a problem than the power leveling is that Ruby gives no indication here that Neo just murdered her sister. Again, that's what the characters are meant to believe, yet Ruby is as stoic as she would be fighting a bunch of White Fang grunts. If you showed this scene to a RWBY fan on its own and asked, "What do you think happened prior to this?" the answer would be, "Uh... nothing? Ruby is just fighting Neo like she did on the airship in Volume 3." Nothing about this scene — from dialogue to animation — sells the idea that Ruby just lost the person most important to her in the world.

When we do finally mention Yang, it's Weiss who goes, “Come on, we have to do this for Yang” and the delivery is... meh. Honestly, I normally don't pay much attention to the voice acting, but I had a problem with most of Weiss' lines this episode. The "Leave her alone!" during this fight and later a "Get back!" as she attacks Cinder both fell really flat for me. Given the devastation and charged emotion that's supposed to be here, we can't give her anything better than generic cries that, again, she’d throw at any grunt? In that later scene the animation absolutely helps sell Weiss' distress, but the dialogue is common and the delivery has no emotional punch, leaving it feeling like Yang is just hanging out in Vacuo and they promised they'd beat the baddies before catching up with her. No one but Blake is acting like Yang died.

In fact, we see more emotion from Ruby when Weiss shoves her back, taking the brunt of Cinder's blast.

Weiss' aura breaks, not that that's a danger or anything. Everyone falls before they're injured, Winter gets the Maiden powers, Ren barely has to fight. Losing aura in this show used to be a moment of peril, where just last volume Winter was bruised, bleeding, and now needs an assistive device because she had to continue a battle with no aura. Now it's a joke. Aura breaks left and right across the volume with no repercussions attached to that.

We see a bit of the Blake and Penny vs. Cinder fight where Cinder blasts Blake off the edge. Penny rushes after her because at least one character remembered that they can fly.

Ruby, meanwhile, remembers that she can fly when it benefits her. After getting hit down onto a lower level and watching Crescent Rose plummet, she taunts Neo into an attack with a move that's actually quite good. I like the confidence with which Ruby riles her up and I like the strategy of darting behind Neo to knock her off the path instead. “Whatever you wanted, I hope it was worth it."

The only thing I don't like is that this speed and ingenuity had to disappear to justify Yang falling.

Cinder breaks Ruby's aura from behind though, sending her over too and grabbing onto Neo's leg. In an obvious moment born of the trope, it looks as if Cinder is reaching to help Neo, only for her to snag the Relic instead. “You should have never threatened me," she tells Neo and to Ruby: "you should have never been born.” 

Love that they erased all that cool growth from last episode! And by "love" I mean "hate." As I said last recap, I'm not going to pretend that Cinder's character isn't riddled with problems, but realizing she was stronger by teaming up with Neo and Watts was one of the best things they've ever done for her. It made Cinder dangerous again and showed Watts' speech having a clear impact. It also made her more entertaining, creating a new dynamic among the three villains. Now though, Cinder is just... Cinder. The same boring, stupid Cinder we've had since Volume 4. She betrays Neo and then later betrays Watts.

So Cinder kicks Neo and Ruby both over the edge because why would we want to make her interesting? Neo falls, but Ruby has friends there to catch her! Unlike Yang. Jk. Weiss’ aura is gone and Blake actually tried both times, so major kudos for her. Using momentum supplied by Penny, she snags Ruby and hooks her weapon into one of the pathways... only for Cinder to cut the ribbon. Both plummet and once again Penny has a more believable reaction to all this, just like she did last week

Speaking of reactions, does anyone else find it weird that Cinder finally succeeded in killing Ruby and... doesn’t seem to care? 

No? Just me? 

At least we get that good animation with Weiss I was talking about before, even if the dialogue is lacking. I love that she snagged Blake's weapon and uses it to try and take out Cinder, shaking the whole time. Those are some great details. 

Back to the bomb, Qrow is trying to escape, but Harriet says there isn't enough time to get out of the blast range. "I've killed us all." Vine has the solution though, using his semblance to wrap up the airship, thus containing the blast when it goes off. His final words are to reassure Elm that he can give his life, "if it means saving all of my friends." Just in case you missed the part about the Ace Ops being super close this whole time. Even though they also weren’t. Trying to eat your cake too, RWBY? 

Frankly, I didn't feel much of anything during this scene, not when Vine made the sacrifice, nor when Elm and Harriet look on sadly while Robyn pilots them away (that's her contribution this episode). 

All I can say is, good on RWBY for not killing one of the three dark skinned characters, or just murdering the Ace Ops as a whole. What the story is going to do with them though, who knows.

Jaune and Nora have that ‘You can do it!’ moment after three of their friends have presumably been killed. I swear, about 80% of Jaune's scenes do not work tonally and oh boy, things only get worse from here.

First though, I like his entrance. He slams into the fight against Cinder and lines up with Penny and Weiss, who is still dual-wielding her and Blake's weapons. That's an epic shot.  

It looks as if they stand a decent chance against Cinder — Weiss' lost aura notwithstanding — except then Cinder's arm starts going crazy and she gleefully announces that Salem has returned.

Working on a time limit now, Cinder unleashes a volley of attacks that Penny steps in to protect the other two from. It's here that Cinder grabs hold with her grimm arm.

It's here that Penny dies. Again.

For the third time.

Friends, I am tired. This moment honestly deserves the most epic of rants, but that, in turn, requires energy. Energy? In this economy? Ha! That's hilarious. Taking this seriously though, the problem here can — as usual — be boiled down to a single question: What was the point?

Penny died in a horrible attack that shook the cast and audience both to their core.

That emotional impact was erased through her resurrection.

The resurrection did not create a new emotional impact for our heroes to grapple with.

Penny is given the Maiden powers, solidifying the fact that she's always been a "real girl."

That lesson was erased when the story decided to make her human for unexplained reasons (because no, she never needed to be human to survive the virus).

Penny then dies, passing the power to Winter... who was set to get the power in the first place.

We have, once again, come full circle. You can take Penny out of the story and nothing changes. Does Ruby lose any lessons or emotional growth? No. Does anyone survive who would have otherwise died? No. Does her getting the powers lead to someone unexpected snagging them upon her death? No. Penny's existence was filler. She was put in the story to take up time and, that done, was removed from the story once again. It's a choice that wouldn't be half as horrible if that filler hadn't done so much damage along the way.

First is the obvious: that Penny didn't deserve this. As a character, she didn't deserve to be brought back just to be killed off again, seemingly without narrative purpose, serving only to draw in viewers who RT knew loved the character. Second, keeping her in the story led to her entire arc unraveling. Initially, Penny died as an android in the world's eyes, but those who actually knew her — Ruby and Pietro — mourned the girl she really was. Now we have this horrible message that being a machine isn't real enough, so she has to die as a human being. It's a disservice to her character and, as an allegory for many minorities, downright insulting to the audience. Third, this offensive 'better to die as a human than live as a robot' message is wrapped up in the claim that Penny finally gets to choose something — “Let me choose this one thing. Trust me” — but she already did that when she chose to take the Maiden powers. We already had the better written version of this last volume!

And the fourth issue...well.  

Fourth and fifth are the real kickers. Fourth is that Penny's death was an assisted suicide. She explicitly asks Jaune to kill her so she can ensure she's thinking of the right person when she passes (never mind that her thoughts would probably be on Jaune while this is happening) and that's... pretty horrible. Look, I'm no purist. I like a great deal of dark, gritty stories whose plot exists to make us uncomfortable. That's a valuable emotion that fiction can generate. The problem is not that RWBY is tackling a sensitive topic, but that they aren’t tackling it well. Yes, they put in a content warning and (from what I've heard) a suicide helpline as well, but providing the already necessary resources is not the same thing as writing that kind of scene with respect and care. All of the above tells us that, no matter what RT may have intended, that respect and care weren't communicated to the audience. Like Yang, they didn't even bother to keep Penny's death within the rules of their world. Jaune is right there ready to heal her and Penny says no, there's supposedly not time.

Um... since when?

Jaune's aura boost is instantaneous. The second he amplifies aura is the same second the healing starts and their talk could have been spent saving Penny. There was certainly time to save Weiss in Volume 5. To have a character go, 'Nah, it's too late' when the solution is right there is the ultimate cop-out. Suddenly announcing that the solution will no longer work For Reasons is not a legitimate limitation and it's made doubly insulting that RT didn't simply use the limitations already available to them. Jaune has been running low on aura since the whale. He then expended a great deal of aura boosting Penny to keep the virus in check. Every other ally has had their aura broken in this fight so, there. That's your solution. Have Jaune take a few hard hits from Cinder, his aura breaks, and then when Penny is mortally wounded he no longer has a semblance to heal her. It's that easy! Yet instead they had Penny reject help so that she could ask to die. That's what's offensive here.

Finally, reason number five... why is this moment given to Jaune? That's another easy solution: Jaune has gone through the portal and can't get back to heal Penny. There. Done. But logistics aside, this scene should have gone to any other character. Who is Jaune to Penny? Or Penny to Jaune? No one! They don't have a relationship. I get that the writers didn't want any of the girls at her side because then it would be hard to justify Penny not passing the power to them (which I get: making one team member a Maiden changes the show drastically), but you know who should be there instead of Jaune?

Pietro.

Pietro, who built Penny as a weapon and who was never given the chance to apologize for that. Pietro, who told Ruby he could only rebuild her once more, setting up an expectation that he'd sacrifice himself for his daughter (despite the complicated racial issues that would bring up). Pietro, who watched Penny plummet and has no idea what happened to her, let alone that she's been made into a human girl. Pietro should have been at her side, saying goodbye to his child and helping her complete her last wish.

And it would be so very easy to pull off. All it takes is a single line where Penny remembers that her father exists, asking Ruby to ensure a portal opens up in Amity. There's a quick reunion along the pathways before Cinder attacks. We hear a cry of despair as Penny falls and she looks, seeing her father racing towards her, though she thought he'd already made it out. There, you’re done. We open ourselves up to a lot of attacks whenever we say, "Why didn't RWBY just do ____?" because those who vehemently defend the writing like to go, "Oh, you think you could write RWBY better?" and no, I don't. I struggle with long-form storytelling and massive casts. I don't think I could do justice to the sort of show RWBY wants to be, but I do think I'm a decent enough writer to spot when there are major problems like this. The question of "Why doesn't Penny remember that her beloved dad exists?" and "Why, out of that massive cast, is Jaune the one to do this deed?" are both things that a newbie writer can spot, and a sometimes okay writer can figure out how to fix them both simultaneously. A good writer will start thinking about themes — what might it mean for Pietro to kill the creation he made? — and a great writer will find a way to pull that off without having that insulting, discomforting feeling pop up. At this point, our RWBY crew feels less like new writers making mistakes (because they're not new, not at all), but rather just writers who haven't bothered to learn from their mistakes after eight years. That's a lot harder to watch.

Because putting Jaune here doesn't just mess with RWBY's internal rules (not using his semblance) and it's not just useless in terms of Penny's development (she doesn't know him outside of "dude who boosted my aura for an hour"), but it also falls back into a pattern I thought RWBY had finally broken from: making Jaune the story's emotional center. This is not the JAUNE show. It's the RWBY show. Yet here, once again, we have Jaune in the spotlight. Why, after a whole volume of Ruby avoiding making decisions, does Jaune finally make the hard call? Why, after a scene where Penny asked Ruby to kill her, does Jaune do that deed? Why, after a divisive arc where all the grief for Pyrrha went to Jaune, is Jaune now set to shoulder the grief of Penny? At least Jaune had a relationship with Pyrrha, even if Nora and Ren did too. Yet with Penny he seems to be there solely because the writers can't bear to keep him out of that center spot for long. All of Team JNOR make it through to Vacuo... except Jaune. Jaune falls into the abyss too because, if the show goes this route, we apparently can’t have a volume just about Team RWBY, the main characters. The main characters are separated from the rest of the team and it's Jaune, not Oscar and Ozpin with a connection to the lore, not Nora or Ren whose development now hinges on them learning who they are without the other, it's Jaune who follows the title characters into a new dimension. 

The issue is not whether Jaune deserves to grieve over the truly traumatic thing he just did now that he’s done it. He obviously does. The issue is the writers setting up a scenario where Jaune is situated to do that emotional work in the first place. 

I like Jaune as a character. I don't like how the writing uses him as a character. RWBY is built on the idea that these four girls are the heroes of this tale, not the expected blond, blue-eyed, sword wielding guy we’ve seen in so many other stories. So why does that guy get the most important scene of the finale? Yes, Jaune had much less screen time this volume than he did in the past, that’s a good thing given the number of important characters RWBY has to balance, but that hasn't erased the problem of him being given significant moments that should be going to title characters. Does Ruby’s team rescue Oscar and take on Salem? No, Jaune's team does. Does Ruby's team save Penny? No, Jaune's semblance keeps her grounded and then holds the virus off. Not everything is a problem — we've also got good choices like having Ruby defeat the Hound and Ruby's team take on Cinder for the majority of the fight — but that doesn't erase that Penny’s death wasn’t something Jaune should have been a part of. Not unless he was going to heal her. Doing better than they have in the past doesn't mean that RT isn't still slipping when it comes to giving him undeserved focus.

They took one of the most controversial characters, controversial because of how much emotional focus he's gotten in the past, and had him help a fan favorite commit suicide while he cried about it, showing more emotion for a near stranger than our title character showed for her sister. This is a character who, up until two or three episodes ago, had no connection to the victim and still has no reason to thematically be the one committing this act. That is why the fandom goes, “The crew loves Jaune and does everything they can to put him in the center of the action.” Ruby, as main character and Penny’s first friend, is the obvious choice here. Pietro, as Penny's father, would be a good choice too. Hell, Nora is a better option given their moment in the Schnee manor this volume. Or Winter given their moments in Volume 7! Have her escape Ironwood, find Penny, receive the powers, and then finish him off. Literally anyone would be better than Jaune, not because Jaune is a bad character, but because Jaune has no emotional stakes here and putting him in a position where he could heal Penny but doesn’t is massively stupid. No one should be surprised that a lot of the fandom is upset about this. It was one hell of a reach to give him this moment and, since Jaune's problem has always been getting too much screen time and emotional nuance compared to our main cast, it's no wonder this act brought up a lot of bad memories. RT fell back into an old pattern after two volumes of improvement and they did so at the worst possible time. 

The tl;dr is that Penny's third death is a writing travesty, just like her second. I shouldn't be surprised, given that this is the same volume that tortured a kid and the only thing they did with it was have him blindly trust his torturer... yet I find myself surprised nonetheless. Because Penny had such potential as an android Maiden and, as much as I personally hated it, potential as a former android learning to be human too. But why explore any of that when you can kill her off instead? Again.

As a final, far smaller note about this scene, we have the continuing problem of what purpose Cinder's arm is serving. If everyone recalls, its threat comes primarily from the fact that she can "siphon off" power from other Maidens.

She did it to Penny during the Amity battle and now she does it again, a great deal of green energy absorbed into Cinder. So what's left to give to Winter? Why doesn't Cinder become noticeably stronger with each successful theft? Like so much else in RWBY, we're told it exists without actually seeing the impact of that. Winter isn't a weaker Maiden for having lost power and Cinder isn't a stronger Maiden for having snagged it. It's just.. there, hanging out and looking vaguely menacing, I guess.

Outside of this unnatural not-transfer, we get to see how the power normally passes as Penny meets with Winter in some in-between place. It's a soft, heartfelt scene... with the exception that Winter says, “You were always the real Maiden at heart. I was just the machine. Just following orders."

I don't know how any viewer can doubt that RT now believes machinery = evil. Penny's machine body is magicked away so she can be a real-real girl. Yang announces that the arm she worked hard to make a part of herself is just "extra." The man with half a metal body is made this volume's villain and losing his second arm is, by the authors' own admission, a symbol of his lost humanity. Mercury with two metal legs remains a bad guy while Emerald and Hazel are hastily redeemed. Tyrian with his cybernetic tail is the most devoted crazy of the bunch. Maria, blind and in need of assistive lenses, is so forgotten by the story she was left in the tundra nine episode ago and won't be mentioned again until next volume (if then). Pietro, the guy in the wheelchair, is forgotten too, despite it being his daughter who dies on screen.

Now Winter, also bearing an assistive device, says that she's the real "machine" here and tells Penny, now human, that she was always the "real Maiden." I don't know what happened to make RT do a 180 lately, but the disability rep is no longer what it was.

Penny reassures Winter that she'll always be a part of her and then passes on, for good this time.

The rest of the episode feels lackluster, if I'm being honest. Images of Cinder beating Weiss are intercut with Ironwood beating Winter, getting her to a point where her aura breaks. 

But then the powers appear and, as we'd expect, she easily turns the tide. 

Gorgeous animation there. 

But RT once again rewrites earlier scenes by having Ironwood claim that the "destiny" he chose for Winter has finally arrived — isn't that Cinder's MO? — and Winter shoots back that he chose nothing, this was a "gift." Except, it was never about destiny or orders? This was why Weiss' anger in Volume 7 was ridiculous. She acted like Ironwood forced Winter to accept the powers and Winter told her point blank she chose this. Ironwood didn't decide anything, he offered and Winter chose... kind of like how Penny is choosing now. I hate how nearly all of Ironwood's character has been ignored or, during times like this, outright lied about to make him seem super duper evil. He tried to bomb a city! You don't need to make him seem evil anymore, that job is done! Like their sudden change regarding disability, RT now seems to be allergic to nuance. Heaven forbid Ironwood be allowed to have valid points like he did in Volume 3. No, if you've got an antagonist every single thing they've ever said must be twisted into a display of their evilness.

Unless you're Hazel, who Oscar trusts for #reasons. Unless you're Emerald, who the group immediately embraces. Unless you're Cinder, who gets to cry on a rooftop and secures the trust of her allies long enough to betray them again.

But Ironwood? Nah, screw that guy.

Salt aside, the fight is pretty boring. Winter literally just throws up a wall of ice and Ironwood's blast rebounds, taking him out.

Winter flies through the portal and we return to Jaune. His sword is broken by Cinder, so weapons should be quite the problem in Volume 9. 

There's a bit of sword vs. sword Maiden battling — this episode really pulled heavily from both Volume 3 and 5's finales — before Cinder gets smart again and attacks Weiss, currently trying to escape with Jaune. Weiss goes right off the edge and Winter isn't able to reach her in time. That's the entirety of Team RWBY, lost to the magical void.

Kudos to Winter's VA and the writing here though. This feels like an appropriate reaction to losing a sister. Screaming, sobbing, falling to her knees and beating the floor... Ruby, take notes.

A roar sounds through all the portals though, the sort of roar a pissed off witch might give. Jaune convinces Winter they need to leave Cinder behind, but before they can escape Cinder... makes a new wish?

Look, it works on all the major fronts. Cinder has the staff, check. We've basically established that Ambrosius can make an unlimited number of things per era, check. We know the previous thing disappears when a new wish is made, check. My only question is the timing. In all honesty, I'll have to re-watch the scene to be sure, but at the time it felt like the portals began disappearing almost the second Cinder left. Did she really have time to summon Ambrosius, deal with his explanatory nonsense, and get him to make a new wish without any fiddly concerns? Sure, fire is just fire, but it still felt like way too much happening too fast off screen.

Either way, the portals are gone and Winter makes it through in time, but Jaune does not. He falls through the void along with Team RWBY. And Neo.

Neo is the only addition I'm looking forward to here.

We get a few shots of our other characters as Winter arrives, saving the day by taking her grief out on the grimm. So glad something came of Ren breaking his aura again! Maybe they'll be more fighting at the beginning of Volume 9? If we see any of this group outside of 9's finale. My worst fear right now is that we'll spend an entire season away from the main action — remember how I said it would be stupid for Team RWBY to go on a side adventure while Salem is attacking the world? — and when they return there will have been some major time skip. Salem has destroyed most of Remnant, only pockets of survivors remain, it's all dark and dystopian... and oh look, every bit of character development happened off screen. How did Nora discover who she is without Ren? She did it while Team RWBY was gone. That merge we've been teasing for five years? That happened while you were gone too and, btw, Ozpin has ceased to exist. So sad, right? Not that anyone will actually mourn. Just take comfort in the fact that his last line was an "Oh no" about Ambrosius and his last major scene was apologizing for how the group treated him. Emerald's redemption? Off screen. Winter's grief? Off screen. Any and every one of these challenging beats to tackle can be waved away with, "We went through that arc while you were lost in the magical realm. Just get to know our new, improved selves now!"

Please, oh writing gods, don't let that happen.

Though I do worry because my last prediction came true.

But we all knew we’d end up here. My current theory? The portal should still be open at the vault. Winter will fight Ironwood, escape through it, and it will close right before he escapes too. He’ll fall with Atlas and everyone will act as if it’s some beautiful, poetic justice for him to perish with the city. 

Ironwood didn't make a break for the portal — too busy being unconscious — but we got everything else. Winter left him, he falls with Atlas, and this is some poetic justice, I guess. Really, it's just an undignified death. I'd hoped for a sympathetic kill, something that showed the characters still cared about him even if they knew Ironwood had to be stopped. Baring that, I'd hoped for an epic battle that took him out with style. Instead, no one even bothers to kill him. Ironwood is now beneath the entire cast, not even worth finishing off. Winter casually tosses his blast back at him and leaves. Cinder throws out a "that's checkmate" and leaves. I don't think Salem even looks at him. Ironwood (presumably) dies with no one and nothing, just a casualty of the city Team RWBY made fall. And I say "presumably" because the audience isn't even given the satisfaction of being sure he's passed on. Like Hazel, Ironwood's death is this weird, ambiguous moment that, based on the other character reactions, isn’t meant to be ambiguous. Is he dead? Most likely. Is it possible, based on what we've seen, that he'll pop up two volumes later like

Yes and, memes aside, that sucks. I don't want to be wondering for the next couple years if Ironwood survived and if they'll bring him back just to drag his character through the mud again. Move on.

But no, we don't even get that.

I've spoken at great deal about Ironwood both in these recaps and on my blog more generally. Last week, I said I'd covered it all and there was no need to rehash it all again. I stand by that, so let me just conclude this travesty with a final note: if your bad guy's final moment is using the last of his strength to point a gun at the actual villain of this story, and you don't realize the problem of how this image contrasts everything else the story has insisted about his character? … I just don't know what to do with that.

Oh, actually, final-final note: Ironwood’s semblance is officially a Schrodinger's semblance. It is both canonical and noncanonical simultaneously. Wooo. 

Cinder tells Salem she used her wish to "add more flames to the first of Atlas" and we cut to Watts, trapped in a roaring fire, unsuccessfully trying to break his way out. Wow, I hate that too! Next to Tyrian, Watts was our last remaining, entertaining villain. He carried a lot of the last two volumes and, I had hoped, was going to add some bright spots to the coming volumes as well. Apparently not.

Just another waste.

In addition to this casual, second murder of her ally, Cinder successfully convinces Salem that Neo killed Ruby and Ruby used the Lamp's last question, but she's back in her good graces since she snagged the Relics anyway. “You’ve done well, Cinder. Our work here is done" and they leave, blasting off like a less cool Team Rocket as Atlas plummets into Mantle.

Let's spend a second to tally things up then, shall we? What happens if Ruby, instead of throwing a moral fit, says, "You're right and we never should have lied to you, or betrayed you. But we want to help now. You get the Relics and the Maiden to safety in Atlas, if you can, we'll defend the people of Mantle"?

Well, they can still tell the world about Salem and call for help, much more easily now since Ironwood would likely just give them the code rather than them needing to spend an episode stealing it.

The Staff at least may not have ended up in Salem's hands and the group could have actually focused on getting the Lamp back (also solved if they'd been smart and just put it in the vault to begin with).

Mantle would still have been safe because Salem was never interested in Mantle to begin with.

Atlas wouldn't have fallen.

Ironwood wouldn't have died.

Penny wouldn't have died.

Even Vine wouldn't have died!

Our heroes unambiguously made the situation worse. Rather than banding together with their allies to fight the real enemy, Salem, they pushed until they made enemies of Ironwood and the Ace Ops both. Then they asked for help — which a pinch of logic said would never arrive — and twiddled their thumbs waiting for it. When it was clear none would come they...did nothing. They sat around, upset that the people were in danger, but not willing to do anything about it. It's only when one of their own, Penny, is threatened that they kick into high gear, hitting on a solution that they could have posed to Ironwood from the very start if no one liked the fly away plan. Yet instead of taking a few minutes to brainstorm other ideas — doing anything other than denouncing Ironwood to the rest of the group and attacking the Ace Ops — they spent two days sitting around, fixing minor messes they’d helped to create, then rushed through the portal plan, messing up the wish and stranding an entire kingdom in a sandstorm, with only Winter now to protect them from grimm.

Fantastically done, team. 

The villains won, yes, but not because the villains were smart and compelling. Watts' hack on Penny and the heat petered out to nothing and Salem... well, she sat around for the whole volume, expending energy only to torture Oscar and try to (unsuccessfully) stop some escapees. Neo and, miraculously, Cinder did the most damage, but only in the final hour, with this "damage" being that our characters fall into a void that we now know looks remarkably like a paradise! Everything bad that happened was a result of our heroes being stupid and stubborn. That's a compelling story to tell... but RT isn't trying to tell it. Our heroes caused so much damage, yet that damage goes unacknowledged — or worse, ignored into silence like with Ren — and everything else is waved away with the magic wand the series claims isn't there. The cold doesn't kill anyone. Oscar has no problems walking off the torture. Nora hops back out of bed. Ruby one-shots the Hound. The civilians lost to the void must have survived too. The entire kingdom successfully makes it to Vacuo... unless you count the massive army we never saw making use of the portals, but who cares about them, right?

The villains won, there was indeed something resembling consequences, but none of it was emotionally satisfying. Not even when the series tries so hard to insist that emotion is there.

Qrow watches Atlas fall, mouthing Ruby and Yang's names, but it's too little, too late. Where was this care for his nieces when he was obsessed with killing Ironwood? When did they care about him? Was it when Ruby shrugged at his arrest, when neither cared that he was missing, or when they were designing an escape plan that didn't include putting a portal where Qrow could reach? RWBY markets itself around the found family-ness of its cast, but they're done a poor job in recent volumes (not others) of convincing me that most of these characters care for one another. We went from Ruby denouncing all adults, to Ruby pulling an Ozpin with Ironwood, to Ruby watching blandly as her sister falls to her presumed death. This is my hero? This is the simple soul we're supposed to rally behind? Ruby doesn't feel like a character who cares about other people anymore and, given that she leads the charge, neither do most of her friends. Or, when that emotion appears, it's jarring and undeserved. Jaune cries over Penny's death? That's tonally and characteristically backwards.

This volume was the culmination of so many mistakes over the past two years. No, Covid couldn't have made things any easier for the crew — the fact that they got a volume out at all is amazing — but the pandemic isn't to blame for the problems in the story. These seeds have existed since Volume 5, with some (like Jaune) going back even farther. I don't think we're ever going to get that flawed, but emotionally fulfilling RWBY back. The show has dug too deep and unless it somehow manages to create a clean slate — those time travel ideas get more and more alluring! — there's nothing they can do but keep on digging. At this point, I can only hope that the series does wrap up within the next two volumes, rather than dragging RWBY to a Supernatural-esque length.

Our final shot of the episode proper feels fitting for what this volume has been. Atlas and Mantle flood rather than exploding, something that makes a certain amount of sense, sure, but definitely wasn't what I was expecting. And after all these shocking images — Penny dying, the grimm attacking, our main characters disappearing in a puff of gold dust — we end it all with bits of random debris. It's strange and underwhelming. Out of everything you could have done with the options you had, you choose to do this?

Of course, RWBY always has an after-credits scene (RIP Raven's, still amounting to nothing). Here, the sounds of water return to show us a beach. Crescent Rose imbedded in the sand, mirroring its classic pose in the snow.  

There's a tree. It's a very different kind of tree from what we saw in Volume 6, but the height and shape is nevertheless reminiscent of Light's domain.

A tree of life, anyone? After all, the group has fallen into a dimension created by a Relic, the gift of Light himself. It certainly seems as if RWBY is heading towards another encounter with the Gods, though what that will look like and how narratively satisfying it will be remains to be seen.

As for our bingo board, RWBY certainly pulled its weight! Only three squares got gold stars: Watts and Jacques didn't manage another team up because both are dead, Oscar didn't apologize for getting shot because he was too busy being tortured, and Qrow didn't drink likely because he didn't have access to any alcohol across the whole volume. Can't say that's a stellar result. The final image is something to behold though lol.

What a mess.

And on that less than exciting note... we’re done. This has been the volume of desertion, with a large number of fans telling me that they will no longer watch RWBY, but baring something entirely unexpected in my future, I'll be back next volume, for whatever that's worth. It never ceases to amaze me that even one person would give these nonsense recaps the time of day, so in all seriousness: thank you for reading. You rock.

Now go forth and fill the hiatus with great RWBY content!

✌️

[writing-with-olive]

Tracking goals with a bulletin board instead of a planner

I don't know how helpful this is going to be to everyone, but switching away from using a planner was an absolute GAME CHANGER, so I'm going to share my system because it's not as intuitive as a planner, but at least for me, it's much more effective.

This got kinda long(ish) so the following is under the cut:

why I switched from using a planner to using a bulleting board

what kind of goals I set with this system

measuring success

how it actually works (how to set it up, and use it to actually track goals)

affordability (spoiler alert: it’s better than most planners)

First of all, why did I switch?

My biggest issue with using a planner was that I wasn't seeing my goals often enough. In the closed pages of a book, they are very nicely hidden, and goals I can't see are goals that don't exist. This took me, oh..... five years to realize (starting when I first tried setting and tracking goals), but once I did, everything suddenly made sense. As far as I can tell, the more often you're interacting with your goals, the more likely you are to complete them. 

What kind of goals do I set?

I track goals quarterly, which means I set new goals at the start of every three months (January, April, July, October). This is pretty effective, as I can set ambitious enough goals that I have to actually work to meet them, but there's enough space for setbacks like "I don't wanna" and "Oh look! Life!" without completly obliterating my chances of being able to finish. Quarterly goals are also pretty standard, at least for corporate America (idk about elsewhere, but it seems fairly likely).

In terms of content, I set several goals for the following catagories:

school/academics (if you don't go to school, work-based goals could go here instead)

social media and writing (most of my social media presence revolves around writing, so I kinda lump them together)

personal/private goals (home-based, tasks that I need to set aside more time to do, family, etc)

self care/habits I want to build (take a walk daily, eat breakfast, screentime limits, read books, etc)

This quarter, I have five for each section, which means twenty goals overall. That's a lot. (I'll get to my metric of success in a sec) The benifit though, is that pretty much all of the most important parts of my life are accounted for, meaning that it's not about making time for my goals, it's about structuring my day so that the bulk of it focuses on one goal or another. Whenever I'm bored, I can see what I have on my goals list, and I'm usually able to find something that's interesting to me in the moment. (This method of spreading out goals to cover multiple facets of my life is heavily inspired by Jenna Moreci's goalsetting method)

How does success work?

(The stuff above was adapted from Jenna Moreci. This part is lifted wholesale from what she does.) I have a lot of goals. Because of that, it's pretty unlikely that I'm going to be able to complete all of them, and setting that expectation is a great way to end up failing, and lacking the motivation to do much of anything. Therefore, a successful quarter is completing at least 50% of the set goals. It's still a challenge - I still have to complete 10 goals in 12 weeks, but it's doable. A success is listed as a win, whereas not completing 50% is a loss. Since I am a competitive person by nature, putting it in a win/lose dichotomy is an excellent motivator. 

This is great and all, but how do you actually set it up?

Okay this is the fun stuff! So it would seem like the board would get pretty crowded pretty quick, but it actually doesnt. 

I do all of my tracking on notecards. Each card holds five goals on them, which I write in pen, and I mark my progress by highlighting a progress bar on top of the row I've written my goal on. This means I can tell at a glance what goals I have the most or least progress on, and approximately how far I have left to go. I don't have to get bogged down by writing out fractions/percentage completion, which would definitely clutter things up. 

To set my board up overall, I used string to block out four columns, each with header labels: Quarter, Week, Day, and Other.

The quarter column is where I list all of my goals I've set without breaking it down into little pieces. I have four notecards in this section, each with five goals apiece. It's the way I track how far I am toward completing the whole goal. Since some goals take most of the quarter to complete, I only update the progress bars once a week. 

The week column also has five notecards, but broken down into pieces I can accomplish in a seven-day period. Usually, I set it up, so that the goals on each card directly correspond to the goals on the quarter goal card to it's direct left. You can mix and match which goals you work on any given week, but it's effective for both keeping everything organized, and also for making sure I'm not neglecting anything. I also make sure to label each of the week goals what it's the week of (for example [W- Mar 4] would indicate that this is a weekly goal card, and also that it's the week of March 4th). This is useful in case I want to go back and see what I was up to at any given time. 

The day column looks a little different in that there are only two notecards. This is to help limit what what volume I'm trying to take on, because one of the biggest demotivaters is seeing a giant pile of work and knowing there's no way to finish it in the time you've got. Usually, I align the first card with the top row established by my quarter/weekly goals, and I write out five things I want to achieve during the day based off what I've written in my top two weekly goal cards. The other card is on the third row, and corresponds to the third and fourth weekly goal cards. As a very strict rule, I don't give myself more than four hours of work each day (this excludes going to class). I've experimented with other timeframes, and I've found going over that number means my chances of doing what I've set out to do plummet if I assign myself more. 

The Other section is where I keep all of my past week/day notecards. On top, I have my weekly goal notecards in one of those triangular paper clamp thingys (I have been informed that these are technically referred to as binder clips), organized in chronological order, with the most recent at the front. Below that, I have my daily goals. This way, I have my progress easily accessible (this comes in useful for proving that yes, I did do the dishes three times last week and yes, it's your turn)

How affordable is it?

Actually really affordable. Yes, it takes up more wall space, but you can get a bulletin board for about $20-$45 depending on where you shop (sometimes they cost more, but usually you can find one in the given range). Notecards cost on average about $3-$4 per 100 card pack (which lasts about two months if you use front and back). Thumbtacks cost about two to three dollars, and a small ball of yarn costs about three to seven dollars. This means tracking for the first quarter costs about $35-$60 dollars, but every quarter following is between $4 and $7. 

For comparison, most quarterly planners, cost about $25-$35 dollars per quarter.

Over a year, that adds up to:

 $50 - $80 for a bulletin board tracker

$100 - $140 for quarterly planners

Over two years, it adds up to

$65 - $100 for a bulletin board tracker

$200 - $280 for quarterly planners

Anyway, that got pretty long, but maybe it'll be helpful to you!

[five-rivers]

Stars Aligned Chapter 2

Here’s the thing.  Danny knew this was a dumb decision.  At least as dumb as stepping into the ghost portal (but at least he’d gotten some nifty powers out of that, hey?).  Whatever reason his bio-dad had for chucking him out the door within days of his birth couldn’t be good.  Putting himself within reach of the man…  Yeah.  Not his brightest thought.  

(Not to mention the wizards.  And witches.  That was so weird, how they had two different names for essentially the same thing. Then again… actor, actress…  Why were people so weird?)

On the other hand, twin brother.  Twin brother who had to live with aforementioned baby-abandoning bio-dad.  Twin brother who wasn’t allowed to visit America.  Or, Danny suspected, a family of squibs.  

Yeah.  

Yeah.  

So, here he was.  Getting everything in order for a wizard passport and wizard international travel, because bio-family refused to even look at an airport.  

Danny had a suspicion that, based on how they spelled the word and a few other comments in that particular letter, that they weren’t entirely clear on what an airport was.  

Fun.  

On the other hand, in comparison to the actual, normal, legal passport he’d gotten, just in case bio-family left him somewhere, wizard passports were much, much easier to get.  The wait times were practically nonexistent.  He could, in theory, get the passport on the same day he traveled.  All that was needed was proof he was a wizard and his adoption papers.  

Of course, ‘proof he was a wizard’ actually meant ‘wand.’  Wands being something they used as personal ID, despite the fact that they were a) sticks, and b) didn’t actually carry any personally identifiable information.  Sure, Jack said that they were somehow connected to their owners, but unless there were, like, giant books of details about everyone’s wands at every place that would, conceivably, need ID, and had people trained to identify all those tiny little characteristics…  Danny just couldn’t see how it would work.

Danny’s current theory was that all wizards were just insane, which meant that his twin would most likely fit right in with the rest of Danny’s family, right as soon as Danny figured out how to legally kidnap him.

(No, Danny didn’t have a ghostly Obsession, and it definitely wasn’t family related.  He was only half-ghost, after all.  Why do you ask?)

Anyway.  Wizard passport.  Wizard ID. Wizard sticks.  

Wands.  

Wands meant a nerve-wracking trip to the nearest wizarding town with Jack.  Evidently, he’d lived there a couple of years after his parents sent him away from Britain when he was around fourteen because of ‘the war.’

Abruptly, many of Jack’s stories about his childhood made more sense.

(It had always been something of a joke between Jazz and Danny to try and figure out what ‘the war’ was supposed to be, and if Jack’s parents had just… Conned him into thinking he’d eaten horse meat.  For some reason.  Even if the Fentons hadn’t seemed like that kind of people, no matter how eccentric.)

(Also, evidently Jazz and Danny had never met Jack’s biological parents, who were not named Fenton, although his adopted mother was also a witch.)

(Why was everything so complicated?)

 The “wizarding community” was a small town accessible only by a train line invisible to ‘no-majs.’  And also flying brooms.  Which wizards used.  Danny had seen the train before, not realizing that he wasn’t supposed to. Several times.  Usually while flying to Wisconsin to deal with whatever Vlad had done that week.  

If Danny was a wizard, was Vlad?  Was being half-ghost somehow tied up in being magical? What did that mean for Dani?

(Hey, maybe this whole affair could be used to bring Dani into the family safely.  Who was to say that he didn’t have a secret twin sister?)

Danny could admit that the town itself, which had almost a Ghost Zone vibe with how all the architecture seemed to be from fifty plus to a hundred years ago and also the physics breaking magic, was sort of cool. It was… cute, he guessed.  He didn’t really like how everyone was staring at Jack, their clothes were just as weird, but it wasn’t a new thing.  People always stared at Jack.  

That’s what happened when you wore hazard-orange jumpsuits twenty-four seven.  

The shops all had names out of a fantasy novel, and at one point they got turned around and wound up on a residential street where they had to ask for directions, but eventually they made it to ‘Willoughby’s Wand Emporium.’

The interior of Willoughby’s Wand Emporium reminded Danny strongly of a shoe store.  The shelves were all lined with boxes of approximately that size, and the employees all carried measuring tape.  It also smelled like a shoe store: musty and dry, with a hint of polish.  Or maybe it was wood varnish?  Or some kind of paint.  

A young woman bounced up.  “Hi, how can we help you today?  Replacement wand?”

“First time, actually,” said Jack.  

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said the woman.  “You’re just so tall for your age.”

“I’m fourteen,” said Danny.  

The woman began to turn red.

“He was missed,” said Jack.  “It happens.”  He smiled, but it looked far more strained than usual.  

“Oh,” said the woman.  “Ahem.  Well, if you’ll come right this way, I can start taking measurements, and start trying out wands.  The wand chooses the wizard, they say!”

“Okay,” said Danny, shrugging.  That was… interesting.  Were the wands sentient?  Did that somehow make them acceptable IDs?

Seemed really weird to keep sentient things stored in boxes.

… Said the kid who stored sentient beings in a soup thermos.

A really high-tech soup thermos.

Didn’t make it better.  

Except he didn’t keep them in the thermos indefinitely.  Except for Dan.  

Danny didn’t know if the wizards kept the wands in boxes indefinitely, either.  Maybe he should stop assuming things.  That had gotten him in trouble with ghosts more than once.

The woman took her measuring tape from where it hung around her shoulders, held it out in front of herself, and promptly dropped it. It did not fall.  

As basic as levitation was for ghosts, it was really weird to see a human do it.  (Especially when it always took so much concentration for him to levitate things other than himself—Hence why he never really used the ability in battle.)

The measuring tape flitted around Danny’s head, shoulders, arms, and body, taking measurements.  He had to sit on his reflexes hard to prevent himself from trying to catch it or knock it out of the air.  

He was so nervous.  Was it normal to be nervous?

The measuring tape snaked back through the air to the woman, who smiled.  “Alright,” she said, “we can start with that.  Uh, to explain the process, we usually start out with wands in the appropriate size range and try and zero in on the ones that respond best to you from there.”  She flicked her own wand, and several thin boxes slid themselves off the shelves.  “We use a wide variety of wand woods from a variety of wandmakers.  Just about any tree that grows in North America is probably represented here.” She paused.  “Except for palm trees.”

“That makes sense,” said Danny.  Palm trees were quite different from other trees.  

“Alright.  Let’s start with pine.  The core of this one is dragon heartstring—Harvested humanely, of course!”

“Core?” said Danny, latching on to the familiar word even as he regarded the wand itself dubiously.  

“Yes.  As with our woods, we also stock a wide range of wand cores.  Each wand has a core made of a small part of a magical creature.  Dragon heartstring, unicorn hair, and phoenix feather are the standard ones…  But that standardization is rather British.  We have a few others available.  Thunderbird tail feather—Only taken during molt.  Wampus cat hair.  Dittany. Rougarou hair.  Jackalope antler…  Those are the more common ones, though we do have others.  Even some kneazle whisker, although most people don’t want those.”

“Why not?”

“Ah, they tend not to be very strong.  But sheer power isn’t everything.  Some prefer control, need lower power output…  or are worried about accidents while they’re learning.  We do see some adult learners every now and then.”

That actually sounded sort of appealing to Danny, but he supposed he’d better go about this normally.  At least at first.  

He picked up the pine wand and immediately dropped it.  

“Ow,” he said.  

“Ow?” repeated the woman.  “Oh,” she said, catching sight of the burn on his hand.  “That’s… not supposed to happen.”

“Y’know,” said Danny, conversationally, “I’ve only held, like, two magical things in my life, and both of them have damaged my hands. Is this, like, a common thing, or am I just ridiculously unlucky.”

“Second one, I think,” said the woman.  “Cynthia’s good at minor healing charms.  I’m going to go get her.  Okay?  Okay.”

Shortly thereafter, phoenix feather wands were also eliminated as a possibility, not because they burned Danny, but because they seemed intent on burning everything else around him.  Pine wands were also a definite no-go (“Don’t worry about the lifespan thing,” said the woman, “that’s a myth.”).  As was everything but elder, apple, pear, hornbeam, thorn, and yew (this list got another mention of myths from the shop assistant).  

At this point, the shop owner, Mrs. Willoughby, was drawn out from the back room to observe the mess Danny was making.  

“My,” she said, “I haven’t seen anyone have this much trouble in a while.  Heather, why don’t you go get some of the specialty cores.”

“I thought the unicorn was working well,” protested the woman who’d been helping Danny so far.  She winced as Danny picked up a new wand and exploded a light.  “Comparatively.”

“Yes, we could probably eventually find a unicorn hair wand that would work for him, but all things considered…  I feel like we should explore other avenues.”  She sniffed.  “Nothing associated with fire.  Perhaps kelpie mane?”

“I’ll check,” said Heather.  

.

Kelpie mane, it turned out, did the same sort of thing as phoenix tail feather when it came to Danny.  Only with a lot more water involved.  

“I didn’t think that would work, anyway,” said Mrs. Willoughby.

“Then why,” said Danny, wringing water out of his shirt, “did you have me try it?”

“Oh, cases like you greatly improve our understanding of wandlore,” said Mrs. Willoughby.  “You’re not likely to have noticed this yet, but the population of wizards and witches is so small compared to the no-maj population that everyone who gets very far in a profession has to be a bit of an innovator.  I’m recording this for future reference, and I’ll be looking forward to seeing what you do in life.  If anything.  It would be very helpful to me if you became famous.”

“Hard pass on that,” said Danny.  

“Or at least come back at some point.”

“I’ll consider it,” said Danny.  “But, like, we were really hoping to do other things today, so maybe…”  He made a circular motion with his hand.  “Or at least, ugh, I don’t know.  I feel like everything you give me is trying to kill me.”

It was a very familiar feeling, and a very unwelcome one, nonetheless.  

“We really aren’t,” said Mrs. Willoughby.  “But perhaps… from now on, we’ll limit to the woods to the Rosaceaes.  The others tend to be called unlucky.  Well, except for the hornbeam.  Is there anything you’re singularly passionate about?”

Singularly passionate?  “Not really,” said Danny, who did not think about ghosts or helping people or space. He shifted, uncomfortable, and squelched.  

Screw it.  He was supposedly a wizard, now, right?

He phased the water off himself.  

“Oh my god!” shouted Heather.  “Did you do that on purpose?”

“Uh,” said Danny.  “No?”

“Calm down, Heather.  Don’t act like you’ve never seen accidental magic before.”

“Not with a teenager doing it!”

They were now attracting a crowd.  Yay.  

“He’s not trained, yet,” said Mrs. Willoughby, unconcerned.  “Don’t be rude.”

“Yeah, can we get back on track, here?”

After a few more tries, Mrs. Willoughby had determined that the wood that reacted the least badly to Danny was hawthorn.  Then she sent Heather into the storage room to fetch more.  

“I don’t know why we even have these,” said Heather, under her breath, carrying several boxes marked with stamps that read ‘THESTRAL.’

“Because some people have trauma, Heather.”

“He’s a teenager.  I seriously doubt he has deep personal experiences with death.”

“Wow, way to assume, Heather,” said another shop assistant, who was passing by with a far-too-curious customer.  

“Here,” said Mrs. Willoughby, handing Danny a box.  “Try this one.  It’s hawthorn.”

With some suspicion, Danny slid the cover off the box and gingerly picked up the wand inside.  

It didn’t do anything like what the other wands had. Instead, the slender length of wood gave him a faint echo of the feeling he got when he was on an emotional high and engaging in either extreme mischief or obsession-adjacent activities (because he did not have a real, ghostly, capital-O Obsession).

Danny declined to hold it with all five fingers, lest he be overcome with mania.

Yes, he was paranoid.  But when touching things can go as badly for you as they did for Danny, paranoia was justified.  

“Oh, it looks like you’ve found your match,” said Mrs. Willoughby, clapping.  

With the ease of practice, Danny did not let any trace of horror or unease show on his face.  He ignored the surge of glee from the wand, and carefully placed it back in the box.  

Yeah.  He needed a wand for passport purposes, but there was no way he was going to use that.  He’d just fake magic with ghost powers.  It had been working out okay so far.  

What was the worst that could happen?

A rather relieved Jack paid for the wand, and they made their way, slowly, to the government building.  

“So,” said Jack.  “You want to save getting those beginner magic manuals for another day?”

“Absolutely,” said Danny.  He wondered if his twin had gone through anything even remotely like this and if it was really worth all this trouble to meet a person he would have basically nothing in common with other than blood.  

Blood that likely meant less than usual, considering that his was diluted with ectoplasm.  A fact he would have to hide.  With no allies or back up.  In England.

(Again, this whole endeavor was not his greatest idea.)

.

Draco supervised the house-elves as they cleaned out the room next to his own, feeling rather blank.  He had campaigned vigorously for his twin to come, but now that he was…

The boy, for all that he was as much a Malfoy as Draco, was an American for all intents and purposes.  What did Americans even like?  What did they call their bastardized version of Quidditch?  Would Deneb even know about wizard games?  According to the woman from the agency, he’d been raised as a muggle by those squibs he’d been placed with.  

Slowly but surely, Draco’s heart sank.  He had no idea what his twin would be like.  Deneb, despite being his brother, would essentially be a stranger.  

He was beginning to understand why his mother was so angry at his father.