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mini-pretzel · 6 years ago

Text

sweater weather

Genre: ooof that smut, hop on board the angst train whooo, some fluff to help you cope, humour i think? (i tried)

Music: sweater weather

Additional tags: friends with benefits to feelings, slow burn, pining, profanity, oral, teasing, spanking, dirty talk, daddy kink (ok im sorry it just happened ok?), car sex (because beds are for chums)

Word count: 14k

You and Jeongguk have that unspoken rule; just sex, no strings attached. And it’s worked well for you for years. But lately, it’s been harder and harder to keep your feelings separate.

You get turned on by Jeongguk’s constant comfy look and a lot of feelings are involved.

“Fuck you.” you narrowed your eyes at him, hoping that your glare would burn a hole in his head. Your arms were crossed on your chest. “We got pizza last time. I’m sick of it.” your lips thinned. “Why can’t it be chinese tonight?”

Jeongguk didn’t look up from his Switch, too immersed in his quest; unlocking Link’s new armour. “Because it sucks, that’s why. And the one we both like doesn’t deliver.”

“Then it can be something else.” You were half a mind ready to tell him to get his ass up and go drive to pick it up because you were hungry for chinese and, goddamn, as if you were going to let him take that away from you.

You poked him with your toe when he ignored the gesture sank further into the couch with a groan. He didn’t even flinch at your touch. Still playing his game. The little shit.

Jeongguk was sitting on the floor in just a wrinkled white shirt and sweatpants, hair a tangled mess on his head. His eyes were focused as he clicked and moved the pedals around on the console. And yet, despite you being so annoyed with him, he still looked gorgeous in your eyes. Or maybe it was just you with your love for his unkempt boy look.

“I want pizza.” he whined.

You sighed, eye twitching, as you scrolled through the food app on your phone. “Anything besides pizza.”

“But I want pizza.” he repeated. God, he acted like such a child sometimes.

“And I want to punch you in the face.”

“Oooh,” he raised an eyebrow at that, and finally looked away from his game for a moment to send you a wink. “Kinky.”

You grabbed a pillow from behind your head and threw it at his face. It hit him with a satisfying thump and you sank back further into the couch in a grumpy manner. You hated nights when you two couldn’t agree on something, especially on something as simple as food.

“Oof, someone needs to get laid.” you heard Jeongguk say as he moved the pillow back on the couch with a free hand, eyes still on the screen. “Need some help with that?” you could hear the grin in his voice without even looking up from your phone.

“We need to decide on food first.” you replied, though you weren’t against his proposal in the slightest. The sudden heat in your pants told you so. Only Jeongguk could get you aroused just from one simple proposition.

“Pizza.” he mumbled and you heard yourself groan and feeling around the couch for another pillow.

“How about chicken wings?” you tried.

Jeongguk stopped for a moment, pausing his game, eyes calculating as he stared into the distance.

You almost feel pleased with yourself that you finally got to him, but then when he turned to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes and you knew you’ve pretty much lost all hope.

“What about a compromise? A chicken pizza?”

“That’s not a compromise. That’s just you getting pizza.” you frowned and huffed. “Fine, if you’re gonna be like that I’m going to get my own food. You can order your pizza, or whatever.”

“Chicken wings sound great.” he said all of a sudden, his focal attention still glued to his game as he conversed with you.

You tried to hide your grin as you knew why he agreed so quickly.

It was easier for him to give in than have to get off his ass to do something, especially when you were here. He seemed to have gotten used to you being around to take care of the small things. He was a bit of a lazy guy, but you weren’t complaining. You finally achieved a real compromise. You wouldn’t be getting your chinese and he wouldn’t be getting his pizza, but you would both be getting something else just as delicious. Everyone was happy.

“You gave in only cause you want me to do all the work, like always.” you mumbled, mostly to yourself as you punched the buttons on your phone screen to complete the order. The grin was showing a little more on your face. You liked the fact that he needed you, just a little. It made you feel appreciated, especially since Jeongguk wasn’t one for words.

“You know how it is, I do all the work in the bedroom, you do all the work in other aspects; like food.” you saw him grin as you looked up. “That’s what makes this such a great partnership.”

You quirked your eyebrow at him, almost daring him to explain himself as a silence stretched out after his words.

He must have felt your piercing gaze and gotten uncomfortable with the silence because he immediately said, “You know what I mean.” and you both laughed, mostly to ease the situation before an awkward tension formed between the two of you.

Yeah. You did. Partnership as in friendship. You both knew that despite what it might have looked like on the outside to anyone that didn’t know the two of you, this wasn’t anything close to a long term romantic relationship. Or anything romantic for that matter. It was just two friends that had a simple sex arrangement, albeit sometimes getting chicken wings because both were too lazy to cook most of the time.

You knew Jeongguk wasn’t good with the whole dating thing; he had told you so when you met him four years ago when you just got out of high school. The two of you met at a college mixer and instantly hit it off. He was cute, a little dorky, could keep a conversation going and had gorgeous eyes that immediately caught your attention.

Aside from that, he always wore the comfiest of clothes, baggy and usually dark toned, that had awakened your love of boyfriend looks; especially on him.

Interestingly, despite the bagginess, his clothes somehow still gave away that his tanned body underneath was ripped to hell. Sometimes the tshirts he wore showed the curl of his biceps when he tossed golf balls into red cups full of beer. You had always found yourself watching the way his muscles moved on him instead of playing the game whenever you were on the same team.

Initially, the two of you had begun just by being friends without any initial fucking around business, but sexual attraction was there, present and relentless, from day one. And after a year of desperate pining (from both sides, as you later came to find) and secret, sweaty masturbation sessions that only made you crave that physical intimacy just that much more, the whole ordeal had gotten past the point of undeniable.

You had wanted him, and bad. But you didn’t want a relationship. Not with the amount of school work and personal stuff you had going on. And especially not with Jeongguk, who couldn’t keep a fling going for past two days at most.

Then one night after a lot of drinking Jeongguk confessed to this pestering lust that dug away at him for the entirety of the year you’ve known each other. You were surprised to find out just how much Jeongguk had a hard time with not staring at your ass or imagining your mouth sucking him off in every situation imaginable. He hadn’t seem so dirty to you before that, despite you imagining him doing the filthiest things to you at night with your hands in your panties.

You blushed hard at him telling you how hard he would cum thinking about fucking you into the mattress or imagining your hand around his cock as you whispered dirty words in your candy voice into his ear. You were squeezing your thighs together so tightly from how instantly all of his confessions had turned you on.

At some point during the heated discussion the two of you stopped talking and stared at one another. Just then, at that moment, it seemed as though something had finally snapped, the air growing charged between you, and the both of you finally gave in to all of those repressed inhibitions. And the sex, fuck, well, it was something you didn’t know could actually be a real thing that existed.

No one before Jeongguk had come close to the tricks and shenanigans he could pull in bed, and that blew your mind especially the first time you stripped down in front of him and he went for it like an animal in heat. Nipping, scratching, licking, slapping; he didn’t hold back. The way he groped your hips and pulled your hair left you a loud, shivering mess in his arms. He completely broke you apart that night, and put you back together with a hum of his sweet voice and a gentle press of a warm towel afterwards, when your body was buzzing from your pheromone high after being fucked right for once.

After that fateful night, everything you liked to experience in the bedroom, Jeongguk could provide for you. Even the things you didn’t even know you wanted. He would always bring out to the best of his capabilities when it came to sex with you. His abilities were quite impressive, and the guy knew it too. You could tell he reveled at making you scream his name when he hit the spot just right.

Thus, your sexual relationship was born.

It was the perfect arrangement; university life was stressful. Deadlines, exams, essays, the horrible group work where nobody did anything and it was impossible to set a date to meet. So much of it had caused sexual frustration to bottle up in you. And with the tight schedule it was too demanding-- impractical, even--for you to hold a steady relationship just for the sake of getting off. Not that either of you were interested in that sort of thing in the first place. You and Jeongguk were both casual hook-up seekers. A kiss here, a touch there, a bit of a rough grind there. There was so much to explore, so many bodies to feel and experience. Especially in college.

You didn’t bat an eye when you saw Jeongguk leave with other girls at parties, because you knew exactly how it was between the two of you. He would come to you when he needed you or vice versa. Some nights he wanted someone else, and some nights you both wanted each other. And you had no doubt that he’s seen you leave with other guys as well. There was never a problem of jealousy between you, since both of you knew you had each other to lean on if either needed a quick fuck and no one else was available.

There was never anything more than that, and there didn’t need to be.

But the one thing neither of you could deny, was the pull and the incredible sexual chemistry you had between one another. So, you created an almost unspoken agreement between the two of you; you were friends, great friends that enjoyed each others company. Friends that also just so happened to fuck when things got a little too stressful or difficult to deal with at times.

The two of you would hang out and do things that your other friends in your friend group did. Like watch movies and eat out, help each other out with assignments, argue over sports and other stupid things. But you didn’t talk about feelings, you didn’t kiss or hold hands and you didn’t go on dates. You were just friends with sexual benefits.

And it was perfect.

You heard the door bell ring and as you looked up from your phone, feeling as if you were awakened from a trance. You hadn’t even been looking at Taehyung’s new instagram post, despite it being in front of you for the last few minutes, instead much preferring to let your mind ponder over your history with Jeongguk.

“Must be the food.” you mumbled, mostly to yourself as you prepared to get up from the couch.

“I got it.” you heard Jeongguk’s voice as he got up from his spot and handed you his Switch. “Kill some bokoblins for me, will yah?” he winked before leaving you dazed on the couch with his most prized possession in your hands.

You stared at his back and shoulders as he walked over to the door to accept the food delivery and felt yourself clutch the console tighter in your hands as a sudden heat spread on your cheeks.

The arrangement was perfect and had worked for you for a while.

You swallowed and tried to steady your quickly beating heart as you looked down at Link on the screen and started playing like nothing was wrong.

Well, it did, it very much did.

You narrowed your eyes on the screen, praying your heart would ease up before he returned.

Until recently.

In the last couple of months, as the end of college was approaching and a lot of reflecting was done on your part as the fear of impending doom was upon you; you had felt yourself slipping more and more into what people called feelings.

You were suddenly forced to face your future--which looked uncertain despite how fast it was approaching--and you had a lot of decisions to make in the meantime. What were you going to do with your degree? Would you stay in the same town or move? Were you going to keep going with your friends with benefits relationship with Jeongguk? And what was this thing with your heart rate speeding up whenever he looked at you?

You found yourself thinking about the guy more and more, found him slipping into your mind during the most mundane things that took place in your life. Getting groceries? You would immediately start wondering if he’s eaten. Checking out books at the library? You’d wonder if he read it and if not, what he’d think of the book. Hanging out with friends? You wondered if he would join you. Making shots at a party? You’d wonder if he was anywhere nearby watching your pouring skills at work.

Everything you were doing, Jeongguk seemed to be in the back of your mind, as if he was there living your life with you, and you found yourself pining for him in other ways than just sex. You had just wanted him nearby, with you.

And that was scaring you, because you liked what the two of you had and weren’t about to let something as stupid and fickle as emotions get in the way of a long term good thing.

But it wasn’t so simple. Your feelings weren’t easy to control, in fact they were making it quite difficult for you. No matter how much you told yourself that Jeongguk didn’t feel the same way, or that he didn’t feel anything at all (you were certain that the guy didn’t dig deep into his feelings), the heart-wrenching clutch in your chest pushed back at you, eager to be fulfilled.

And it tired you out. You didn’t want to be that girl. You didn’t want to be the one that gets involved in something as simple as friendship with sex only to fall head over heels over the guy. That was not you. You weren’t into feelings. You didn’t like feeling vulnerable with anyone.

You liked quick hook-ups, tactile satisfaction and no obligations. The only depth you wanted to feel in a relationship was how deep the guy of the night could thrust into you.

You liked being in control of yourself and your emotions, and this was not control. It was slippery slope to a disaster. And you had to regain your resolve and focus, somehow.

Maybe if you took someone new home tonight. That would take your mind off Jeongguk. You had always enjoyed the feel of a new body pressed against you. Someone new and eager to please with a whole new set of skills and pleasure buttons that you would press and undo with your touch.

Yes, that sounded like a solid plan.

“Are you listening to me?” you heard Hoseok say your name and it snapped you out of your thoughts. You blinked at stared back at him, suddenly aware that you just missed everything he talked about.

“Sorry, Hobi. I was thinking about something.”

“Uh, yeah, that much is obvious.” he laughed as you broke away from his gaze to stare at the textbook in front of you, utterly forgotten due to your insistent daydreams.

You and Hoseok had a presentation due tomorrow, but your mind kept wandering as you were going over bullet points of the main facts to present. This wasn’t like you. You were usually on top of assignments, but this new thing developing inside you had really messed with your concentration.

“Sorry about that, Hobi, I guess I’m not feeling too well today.” you apologized to him again, feeling embarrassment creep upon your cheeks as you played with the corner of the page. You withheld from meeting his eyes because you knew, you just knew, that the perceptive Hoseok would see right through you and start asking questions if you weren’t careful.

You cleared your throat, trying to shake off the fog that was Jeongguk in your mind. “What were you saying?” your grip over your pen tightened as you made movements as if you were going to write down his words.

“I was saying,” Hoseok began, and you could feel the intensity in his stare during the brief pause before he continued, “that we should include some statistics into the presentation, to help with the validity of the statements.”

You made a short note of his words. “That’s a good idea. Maybe we could make some graphs?” you added, drawing a box next to the written words, “Easy to decipher, especially in the back. Then nobody would have to read walls of text.” you explained before daring to spare a glance at him.

His gaze was as dissecting as you imagined it to be and you quickly looked back at your notes.

“You’re hiding something.”

Fuck.

You forced out a laugh, albeit a little hoarsely, which obviously showed your discomfort with the action. “What do you mean, Hobi? You’re being ridiculous.”

You heard him say your name in a firm voice, something akin to a mother’s tone used to discipline a child, and your lips tightened.

Not now, please, this was the last thing you wanted, especially now. Hoseok couldn’t know. He was already worried about Jeongguk and yours nightly escapades. Saying anything about your developing feelings into the mix would definitely stir something bad. You knew he’d blame Jeongguk even though it’s not his fault, you had wanted it. You had requested the arrangement. And it was you who was falling for him, like a goddamn idiot.

“You’re barely paying attention to the assignment. That’s not like you.” Hoseok observed, and you could feel his gaze burn into you as you fiddled with your pen nervously. “Also you have that frown on your face when you’re spaced out, and that only happens when something is bothering you.”

Fuck.

He leaned back, crossing his arms. “So, spill. We don’t have all day.”

When you remained quiet to his demand, he sighed again before saying your name again. “You know I’ll find out eventually.” you could hear his voice softening. “I just want to help before it gets any worse.”

There was that care and concern that Hoseok was known for.

You swallowed thickly, touched by his words, but not ready to divulge such a shameful secret. “Thank you, Hobi, for your concern.” you cleared your throat after a pause. “There’s some things going on that I’m dealing with, and I’m not comfortable talking about them just yet.”

It was no use to lie to him, you knew that, so you opted into buying whatever time you could to deal with these feelings before breaching on the topic again. Which you knew you would have to. Very soon. This was Hoseok you were talking about, he would find a way to bring it up again.

You looked up at him and found his eyes full of something you couldn’t quite place. They were gentle, but attentive. Hoseok studied you for a moment before shutting his lids and giving you a curt nod.

“Alright, I’ll drop it.” he leaned back toward you, eyes blazing, and placed his still crossed elbows on the table. “However, if I see you with that frown on your face again, I can’t promise I won’t try to slap whoever put it there.”

You stared at him for one long moment, knowing exactly what he meant, and who he was talking about. A small smile--a foolish attempt to ease the tension--formed on your face as you placed a hand on his forearm. “I promise, Hobi. It’s nothing serious. In a few days I’ll be just like I always am. You’ll see.”

He pursed his lips, hints of doubt showing behind his stare. But he did seem to relax a bit from your touch. “Okay, I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

“I promise, I’ll be just fine.”

You will be. After you find yourself a nice boy to help you take your mind off of Jeongguk.

“Why are we here, Jeongguk?” you heard yourself asking, more surprised than annoyed, your eyes glued to the sea in fascination. It was mid-autumn, the classes were in full swing and you had a butt load of assignments to do, yet somehow Jeongguk had managed to get you away from all of that with the promise of a late night drive.

He had somehow remembered how much you loved those. You were surprised he actually listened to you, considering how often your conversations took place over him playing video games. But he paid attention, apparently. And now you were standing on a deserted beach with the sky a little too dark and the wind a little too cold for your liking.

“You said you always wanted to go to the sea.” you heard his voice behind you and turned to meet him.

“Uh, yeah, in the summer time, you dolt.” you threw a playful punch at his bicep and he pretended to be hurt by your assault, rubbing his arm and cursing you softly in a hushed voice. He still looked good with his grey puma tracksuit and mess of a hair. So natural, so comfortable and easily kissable, it made something in your chest tighten at the thought. Oh no, there it is again.

“Hey, at least you’re here, princess.” he tried to sound annoyed and you rolled your eyes at the tease behind the nickname.

“It’s too cold to do anything.” you pointed out. “In case you haven’t noticed, it’s autumn. And autumn is usually cold.” you hugged yourself to add emphasis and shivered even though you didn’t feel that cold.

You saw him laugh. It was rich, low noise that made his Adam’s apple dance on his throat. You caught yourself staring despite not wanting to. Your heart thumped.

Oh no.

“It might be cold out here, but the water is warm.”

Yeah, right.

“I’m not going into the water. No way. You couldn’t pay me.”

He pouted, and it hurt you physically at how cute he looked. “You’re such a party pooper. You need to learn how to live.”

“Jeongguk, we don’t even have swimsuits with us. How are we supposed to swim? Do you want me to get my clothes wet?”

He grinned. “Who said anything about clothes?”

You were taken aback for a moment, with your mouth open. Then you quickly shut it and your eyes widened as his words sank in. Did he-

“Y-You don’t mean…”

Jeongguk walked closer to you and leaned in, eyes wicked and full of mischief. “Strip. We’re going skinny dipping.”

You could smell the cologne on him and it made your mind feel dizzy. Skinny dipping? In the middle of October? What was this guy on?

“Are you crazy? We could get sick!” you protested weakly as he started taking off his sweatshirt.

“Won’t happen. The water’s too warm.” He was stepping out of his pants now and it clearly showed that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Oh no.

You held your breath for a moment. You could never get used to seeing Jeongguk naked. The sculpture of his body and toned muscles, and how wonderfully defined his features were; from his shoulders to his calves and the perfect balance of proportions. Smooth and easy on the eyes. Perfect for biting, nipping and grasping on with your fingers. You could stare forever and never get enough.

“But what about after? We don’t even have towels.” your voice sounded so weak, you felt yourself slipping.

“I have some in the back trunk.”

He’s-

“You really planned this, haven’t you?” you looked at him incredulously.

He smiled and pressed himself against you, hard enough that you could feel his dick against your stomach even through your clothes. He was half-hard. Fuck. That wasn’t making it any easier. Why did he have to look so charming and pure when doing something far from it too?

“I’m not sure about this, Jeongguk.” your voice trembled, your hands tightened around you. You weren’t usually uncomfortable being naked around him, but something about this was making you nervous. This wasn’t something the two of you usually did. Or, like, ever, if you were honest.

And the novelty of it was making the thing blooming in your chest expand further. Oh no.

However, it would make sense for him to do this, it was mischievous and thrilling, like he was. The thought of being young and wild like this, and the excitement of getting caught. It was all so him, it hurt. And he would probably want to fuck after too. It made perfect sense.

You wouldn’t meet his eyes, so he placed his fingers under your chin to lift your face to face him. His eyes were dark, warm and gentle, but had that glint that was Jeongguk. Sweet, but far from innocent. You had come to know that for sure.

He said your name with the softest pronunciation, the vowels sliding off his tongue easily with years of practice and care, and you felt your knees go weak. Fuck, please, no. The way he said it had almost made you melt.

“You need to learn to let go.” you heard him speak in an even softer, breathy voice, just barely above a whisper.

You stared at him, transfixed, caught between the pools of his eyes and glistening of his lips. You swore he could easily kiss you right then and there--and you’d let him--but neither of you moved, stuck and staring. You were too frozen to move, too afraid to break the moment and have it end, but also afraid to lean in and indulge yourself in something that would ruin everything.

“A-Alright. Fine. But if I get sick, it’s on you.” you spoke, and sounded much more confident than you felt.

He laughed again, breaking the tension you felt in your chest. “Fine. If you get sick, I’ll buy you pizza.”

You smiled. “Deal.”

Then you shed your clothing, carefully placing it next to his and made your first steps to the ocean, the cold air nipping at your exposed skin. You prayed Jeongguk was right and the water was as warm as he had said.

You saw him run past you and jump into the water with a gleeful laugh, a huge splash emerging after him.

“Dude, what the hell?” you yelled as you got hit by some of the aftermath of his childlike mischief. The water had not felt as cold as you had originally feared, it was actually nice and warm, almost as if it was summer.

“C’mon, get in before I make you.” you heard his voice but before you were able to respond his hands were already on your hips and you were slung over his slippery shoulder.

“Hey- wait! Jeongguk!” you wiggled, but to no avail, his grip on you was tight. Your backside was exposed so lewdly to the air that it made your cheeks redden, especially because Jeongguk kept a steady hand on one of your ass cheeks.

He started moving further into the water and you suddenly realized what he was about to do.

“No- dude I-”

His laugh echoed in your ears followed by a loud hard smack of him hitting your ass and your blush deepened.

“Ready?”

“Wait- no I-”

And suddenly you were airborne and time seemed to stop. He actually did it. That mother-

When you hit the water and felt it go in your nose and through your hair you realized just how warm and nice it was. For a moment there was just the muffled sound of waves and comforting wetness. You could feel the water envelop itself around your body almost as if giving you a hug. It was actually kind of relaxing. The numbness of it all. You stayed under just for a moment, savoring the feeling.

You had never been able to let go like that before. This was so foreign to you, it made your skin tingle from excitement of experiencing something new. Only Jeongguk would make you do something like this; make you come out of your comfort zone like that and not hate it.

When you reached the surface again you started coughing as the water came out of your nose, moving your legs to ensure that you stayed above water. You rubbed your eyes to see that Jeongguk was also wet from head to toe was swimming around you in circles.

“You are the most insufferable person I have ever met.” your eyes stung from the salt water but there was a smile on your face as you said that. You felt alive. What has this boy done to you.

“But I was right -- it’s warm.” he looked proud.

You laughed. “I hate you.”

“I know.” he smiled, something gentle behind his eyes that almost made you give away something you didn’t want to admit to yourself. “Swim with me.”

Your heart squeezed in your chest, and that was the first time when you realized that you were falling. Falling for the boy who was your best friend. Falling for the boy you would have sex with to ease the tension in your academic life. Falling for the boy in the comfy clothes and wrinkled sheets. Falling for the boy who’s name was Jeon Jeongguk and who was slowly becoming the only person you wanted to talk to, sleep with and just be around.

Oh no.

Your eyes shot open and you found yourself staring at the darkness of your ceiling. You weren’t in the sea anymore, but in the comfort of your bed. You inhaled a strangled breath and closed your eyes trying to understand what just happened.

It was a dream, a dream of previous events that took place last fall. The night Jeongguk took you out for a drive and roped you into skinny dipping. And after that you ended up doing more than just swimming, particularly in the back of his car. If you thought about it long enough you could still remember how hot his tongue felt between your legs and how easily you came apart around him.

You whimpered.

That was also the first night you realized that you may have liked him more than just a friend and the occasional fuck buddy.

Your teeth bit hard into your lower lip.

Drat, now Jeongguk was following you into your dreams. First it was your conscious thoughts, and now he’s conquered your subconsciousness too. You almost laughed at how it was such a Jeongguk thing to do, too. That guy never half-assed anything he set his mind to. He might have been lazy in some things, but he was intense with everything that mattered to him; like video games, sex and editing on his computer.

And making sure he was on your mind 24/7, apparently.

You exhaled slowly and tried to steady your beating heart with your palm. What time was it? You tilted your head to see the green numbers stating 3:08am next to your bed.

It was quiet, save from the soft snoring coming from beside you.

Wait, snoring?

You blinked and turned your head to the side to find a guy sleeping soundly next to you. There was barely any light in the room, but you could sort of make out his features. It wasn’t Jeongguk, but he closely resembled him. That was something you hadn’t noticed when you picked him up at Hoseok’s house party last night.

You held in a groan. Great, now you were even bringing people that looked like him into your bed to try and get over him.

You were so far up Jeongguk’s ass it wasn’t even funny anymore.

You brought your hand up to your face to massage the bridge of your nose. This whole thing was ridiculous. You just wanted to go back to when the only thing you felt for Jeongguk was friendliness and lust, without all of the complicated and clingy feelings.

You heard the guy move slightly next to you before plopping onto his other side, facing away from you, and found yourself sighing.

The guy was alright. He held himself in bed fine. Was a good size too, and it definitely caught you off guard at first, but still it was nothing to write home about. You hadn’t remembered his name and couldn’t be bothered to anyway.

You hated to admit it to yourself, but despite the guy’s decent performance, he still wasn’t Jeongguk. And the fact that you were even comparing based on who he was as a person and not his skills in bed left a bad taste in your mouth.

Especially since the only reason you came was because in your last desperate moments nearing close to the orgasm you imagined it was Jeongguk fucking you and not some random guy that looked like him.

You shook your head, feeling the shame wash all over you.

You were truly fucked if you didn’t figure a way out of these feelings.

A chime of your phone broke you out of your daydream. You sighed as you put your pen down on the book, all over pages and pages of homework you’ve yet to finish. It was going to be a long evening and you were already dreading it.

You picked up your phone to check the messages, sliding past countless instagram notifications.

Tae: hey u in for tomorrow night? wings, beer and that horrible movie that jimin picked out.

You stared at the text for a moment. You always met up with the guys for movie night. Always. But now with the whole Jeongguk situation you were hesitating and didn’t think you could bring yourself to come over. What if you stare at him for too long? What if he wears his puma tracksuit again like he did that night at the beach? It was a weakness of yours and he knew it. What if you start stuttering when answering him like a fool? You weren’t that girl. You never were and damn you if you were ever start being one because of some boy.

You had to deal with this issue first before laying your eyes on Jeongguk again.

But who knew, maybe he wouldn’t be there? It was a very unlikely, but worth a shot.

You: maybe, i’m drowning in assignments. who else is coming?

You clicked to check other messages when you already got a reply.

Tae: same as always. jin, jimin & jeongguk. the whole j gang.

Your hand tightened around your phone as you typed your answer.

You: i probably won’t be able to make it this time. lots to do. sorry. let me know how it goes.

In a few moments, Taehyung responded.

Tae: alright, but u hmu if anything changes.

You: thanks, i will.

You didn’t.

“I can’t believe you made me do that.” you said, wet and shaking from the cold as Jeongguk opened his trunk to grab you both towels.

“I can’t believe you’re acting like you didn’t enjoy it.” he winked at you as he threw the towel over your head. It landed softly over your face, shielding your view of him and you raised your hands to begin drying your hair with it.

“It was alright.” you mumbled, not being completely honest. In actuality, you had really enjoyed it. Before, you had never considered skinny dipping as something you would partake in your life, or take pleasure in, for that matter. But Jeongguk had changed that. He had changed a lot of things for you, that boy.

“Uh huh, just alright.” he chuckled and wrapping a towel around his waist and opening the backdoor of his vehicle. “Hand me the clothes, I’ll toss them in.”

You grabbed the folded clothes from your underarm--the ones you folded cause he couldn’t be bothered to--and handed them to him. Jeongguk threw them in without a care and you winced at how they probably landed messily on the backseat.

“Alright, now that that’s done.” he turned to you and placed his calloused hand on the side of your neck and trailing it down your shoulder, the motion erupting goosebumps all over your body and sending heat down between your legs.

“Why don’t we do something even more fun?” his eyes darkened as he said that and you held in a whimper at how his gaze trailed your body, hungry and eager. You suddenly remembered that the only towel you had was drying your hair so you were completely naked in front of him. You felt your knees start to shake from anticipation. You wanted him all over you, for him to touch you in that way that always broke you.

“Sure, ok, yes.” You said, maybe a little too awkwardly for your liking, but Jeongguk didn’t seem to mind as he moved you by your hips, fingertips gripping your skin roughly and pushed you into the backseat.

You felt your head fall into the pile of clothes he had so nonchalantly tossed in a few moments before and decided that they would work great as a pillow. Did he plan on that? You didn’t know or care. The leather felt cold against your bare skin, but you found that excited you more than anything.

Jeongguk wasted no time climbing on top of you and spreading your knees apart, bearing all of you to him. A blush spread on your face from the action, and yet you impatiently bucked your hips up, wanting him to touch you all over. You could feel yourself dripping just from his gaze and you were shameless in your yearning.

“Please.” you begged. “Jeongguk, please touch me.”

“Mmm, how do you want it?” he inquired, his fingers trailing up and down your thighs. You shivered, a smile tugging at your lips. God, you loved how he teased you. This was just the beginning stage. Soon, his roughness would come out and just the mere thought of that made your insides squirm.

“The usual, please.”

A wicked grin spread spread on his face and he tilted his head back, hair falling over his eyes and his tongue running over his bottom lip.

“Please, what?” his hands reached your ass and gripped your cheeks roughly and spread them apart. You let out a moan, keen on being touched, on being filled, clenching your pussy lips against nothing. And you knew he could see it. See how much you wanted it, wanted him.

“Please, daddy.”

“Good girl.” you felt a hard smack on your ass and arched your back as you moaned even louder. Fuck, you loved his level of rough. It was just starting.

“Please, daddy, fill me up with your large cock.” you whined out, moving your hips, aching and desperate.

“Mmm, I love it when you beg, kitten.” he brought your thigh close to his lips for a kiss then you felt a sting from his bite and whimpered, your legs shaking.

He stared at you from his position, his eyes dark orbs that could swallow you up if you weren’t careful. And you weren’t. You never were when it came to sex with him. “Make those noises for me, kitten. Make noises for daddy.”

You nodded obediently and let out another loud whimper when his calloused fingers trailed up your wet slit. Not going in, or rubbing, but just trailing. God, it drove you mad.

A soft whine escaped your lips as he slowly moved his fingers up and down, coating them in your juices while his mouth was biting down into the flesh of your thigh. With every bite he was getting closer and closer to your cunt and the anticipation of what he was going to do was stirring in your belly.

“Daddy.” you gasped out as he stopped inches away from where you wanted him.

“Yes, kitten?” his hot breath was hitting your erect clit.

You groaned. “Eat me out, please.”

You expected him to reply, for him to say something snarky back or keep teasing you further, but he surprised you by fulfilling your request by licking a long stripe up and down your slit. And as soon as his tongue made contact with your folds it was like electricity ran through your veins.

A harsh breath escaped your throat and you bit onto the flesh of your wrist. He had always known how to use his tongue in just the right way to make you squirm under his mercy.

“Ah, ah, ah,” you felt his tongue leave you and you made your hips follow it in a desperate attempt to feel it on you again. “What did I say about noises, kitten?”

You swallowed, moving your hand. “To make them.”

“Good girl.” one of his fingers poked at your entrance and he smiled when he heard another one of your noises. “Now, will you be good and do as you’re told?”

“Yes.” you bucked your hips against his finger and felt it slide in just a bit.

“Yes, what?” the grip on your thigh got tighter.

You grinned. “Yes, daddy.”

Another slap on your ass that you relished in.

And then his fingers--yes, fingers, not one, but two--were back at toying with your entrance. He took his time gathering all of your juices on them before sliding them in and out with much more force than you expected. It had caught you off guard and the feeling stung, but the pain quickly subsided as he kissed your thighs with every stroke.

“Just like that, kitten.” he cooed as he heard your voice get louder with every thrust, his fingers making loud and wet sounds as they slid in and out of your cunt.

You eyes were shut and your whole body shook, covered in a sheet of sweat. Ugh, you needed him in you so bad. But you knew he wasn’t done yet. He barely did anything to you.

You heard him let out a grunt as he stared at his fingers disappearing into your warmth, as if mesmerized by the view. You wished you could see what he saw. He wet his lips and you bucked your hips, urging him to lick you again. And he did, enveloping his mouth all over your clit, entrapping it in the hotness of his mouth.

Your head fell back and you stared at the ceiling of the car, stars dancing in your eyes. Your hands found their way into his hair, tangling in the damp curls and tugging on the strands harshly. Fuck, how you loved his tongue.

Jeongguk moaned against your clit, slipping more fingers in you to stretch you out and you shuddered against him, broken noises trailing from your mouth. You were suddenly glad the both of you were in a secluded part of the beach, because you were sure you were much louder than you usually were. And you could tell Jeongguk was pleased about that.

“Mmm, you taste so good, kitten.” he trailed his tongue across your folds, bringing it up and flicking it teasingly against your clit, making you jerk. “Like saltwater, candy and you. I could eat you all day.”

You blushed at his words, staring into his eyes for a still moment and you felt something tighten in your chest.

Oh no.

You bit your lip, acting like nothing was wrong, like there wasn’t anything growing in your chest. “Fuck me, daddy? I’ve been such a good girl.” you smiled sweetly. “Please?”

He smirked back at you, his teeth so perfect and white. He looked so handsome with his hair wavy from the saltwater, riled up in tangles from your hands, with that mole hidden underneath his lower lip and with that smile that made his cheeks look puffy and cute, much more innocent that he actually was, but it made your heart flutter nonetheless.

“In a minute, kitten. You like it rough, right?”

You nodded.

“Then daddy needs to be rough with you first, before he fucks you into the seat.”

A rush ran down your spine and a grin spread on your face. “Be as rough as you want, daddy. I can take it. You know how well I can take it.” you glanced at him, eyes dark.

He growled and surged forward, removing his fingers from inside you. You were about to complain over the lack of fulfillment, but as soon as he was towering over your body you forgot all about it. He looked too good, the muscles of his chest and stomach displayed in front you. They were taunting you, reeling you in. You wanted to bite, taste and touch every part of him.

His lips found your neck and you smiled at the way his teeth grazed your sensitive skin, nibbling, sucking, scraping. You knew there would be a mark next time you looked in the mirror, but you didn’t care. You reveled in this. In being marked. Almost as if owned by him. Almost as if he was yours, too.

The hand that was covered in your juices squeezed one of your breasts as he left trails of wet kisses and hickeys down your throat and collarbone. And you felt yourself rub against him, against the towel that was so inconveniently in the way.

“Want me to take it off?” he asked, and you felt his smile against your skin.

“Yes, daddy.” your nails scraped against the back of his neck and he grunted, landing a harsh slap on your the side of your ass once more.

His free hand grasped his towel and it was thrown somewhere to the other end of the car. Neither of you really cared where, it wasn’t important. What was important was that his dick--thick, hard, tip red and precum leaking--was hitting against his toned stomach and your wet cunt was prepped and ready to take him.

“Please,” you mumbled, staring at him with your most innocent eyes. “Fill me up, daddy.”

He groaned, pupils dilated as he took you in and moved to position himself better between your legs. “Careful what you ask for, kitten.”

You were about to retort that you knew exactly what you were asking for when he moved away from you to search for condoms in the compartment between the two front seats.

It felt like it took forever for him to do that, but you weren’t about to complain. Safety was important. Especially for the two of you who were so sexually active with multiple partners.

“You look hot putting on the condom,” you mumbled, eyes trailing all over him as he slid on the rubber over his length. “I could stare at you all day.”

He let out a throaty chuckle. “Good to know, kitten.” and then he was towering over you again, aligning his dick against your hole with his hand. “I wouldn’t mind if you stared all day. I like an audience.”

And with a sly wink he pushed himself into you and you felt your mind go numb.

Pleasure erupted between your legs as you felt his dick fill you up, stretching your inner walls. Your eyes were swimming and your body was shaking, the wave of relief washing through your muscles. Finally. He was finally in you. Now he would be even rougher.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” he grunted and stopped after he hit the end of his length and you felt the hair around his pelvis tickle against your skin. The both of you stayed like that for a bit, savoring the proximity, the pulsing of his dick, the tightness of your walls. “I love fucking you so much.”

And then he started moving, setting a fast pace, roughly fucking himself into you and relishing in every moan that it brought out of your mouth.

“Y-yes, daddy,” you chocked on the amount of saliva in your throat, “f-fuck yes.”

You felt him breathe in your ear as he pulled you close and fucked you even harder, nails digging into your hipbones. “Fuck,” he breathed out your name, “I love it when you call me that.”

His voice sounded dangerously low and it sent chills down your spine. God, you were drowning in what this man was doing to you.

Your head was bobbing against the car door from his thrusts, but you didn’t care because the only thing on your mind was Jeongguk and how good his dick felt inside you. Fuck. He moved your hips up in his grip and that caused the tip of his cock to hit that spot. You screamed out his name.

“Louder.”

You did again.

“Louder, kitten.”

Your voice was hoarse from your lewdness, but you obliged.

“Louder.”

Fuck.

“I’m coming, Jeongguk!” you bucked your hips against him and were sent over the edge, your orgasm crashing all over you, enveloping you from the tips of your fingertips to the very end of your toes, turning your skin tingle hot in between.

You felt him tug at your hair as he sped up his pace, thrusting into you so hard you could’ve sworn you were becoming part of the leather seat under you.

“Cum for me, daddy.” you grunted out and wrapped your whole body around him, taking him all in.

And that did it. Jeongguk crashed into you in the very last of his force, his face shoved into the crook of your neck. His body twitched as he came and you felt his dick pulsing inside you with every blast. You wished he didn’t have the condom on so you could feel his hot cum filling you up inside you.

“Fuck, kitten.”

You both were breathing hoarsely, completely wasted and fucked out.

“You’re too good to be true.” you heard him say in your ear in between breaths.

Your chest tightened again.

So was he. And you couldn’t have him.

You heard your name amidst the laughter and piercing sound of the latest R’n’B song playing in the background and turned your head to the source of the sound. It was Taehyung, incredibly tipsy and swaying back and forth as he made his way toward you.

“You look as great as always, sweetheart.” he slurred out and winked which prompted a laugh out of you. Leave it to Taehying to start shamelessly flirting when drunk. He had always been the one that went his hardest at parties. No alcohol was off limits for him and shots were his best friend. You were impressed at how well he handled his liquor, you tried to out drink him one time but couldn’t keep up with his pace. The man was a monster when it came to drinking games.

“And you look drunk as always, Tae.” you smiled and held your hand out to help steady him but he waved it away.

“I’m good, sweetie. Not my first rodeo, you know?”

You nodded and let your arm drop. “What’s up? Did you need something?”

“Aside from another shot of tequila and an tight ass in my face?” Taehyung asked listing the things on his fingers. His cheeks looked so red, he must have drank much more than he let on.

You stayed quiet, an amused smile playing on your lips before he took the silence as a sign to continue. “Not much, just fulfilling a favour.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Which is?”

Taehyung looked at you expectantly. “Jeongguk is looking for you.”

You felt your heart thump hard at that and your smile faltered before you could stop it. You tried not to let the fear prickling fear show on your face though.

The truth is, you’ve been avoiding Jeongguk since last Friday night when Taehyung had texted you. The last time you saw him was when the two of you had chicken wings together. And even throughout that whole meal you could feel the thing in your chest get more persistent and you were scared you would slip up and let it show. Especially around him.

So you were dealing with it the best you could by finding different guys to take home every night you went out during that time. Which meant you left Jeongguk high and dry. Which you felt bad for, but at the same time, you needed to fix this reoccurring problem of feelings. Once that was dealt with, it would go back to normal. At least that’s what you were hoping for real hard.

However, it has already been a while since you started avoiding him, so he must have noticed. The other guys sure have; they had told you so. It became pretty clear by your repeated declining of Taehyung’s plans to hang out when Jeongguk was present. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

You realized that Taehyung was still staring at you, waiting for you to reply and you smiled sheepishly through your guilt. God, you were so in over your head with this whole Jeongguk thing. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

“Thanks, Tae. I’ll go find him.”

And off you went, on your--hopefully--fruitless search for Jeongguk in this large party full of dancing bodies and encompassing tunes. You were really trying to keep it together in case you did manage to find him. By the looks of things there was too many people for you to cross paths, and that made you feel a little bit at ease. You just needed a couple more days, then you’d be able to see him like always. Without tumbling over your stupid crush. Without getting too attached. Without wanting something you could never have.

Suddenly you heard a voice say your name in that way that always made your stomach clench. Shit.

“I’ve been looking all over for you.” his deep voice rang through your ears and your feet stood frozen to the ground. You turned your head. When your eyes landed on him your heart sped up in your chest. Damn it. Why did it have to be him?

Jeongguk stood with his hands in his pockets, completely relaxed, still sporting that comfy boyfriend look that you have always loved on him. The ripped jeans showed his knees and a bit too much of his thigh, the black tshirt looked simple but it fit him so well and made his arms look supple and tanned. He also had his black hair styled a little, but it was still messy, no matter what he did.

You swallowed and tried to look like you haven’t been hit by a train of Jeongguk, destination: fucking feelings.

“You have? What’s up?”

A playful grin spread on his face and there was a dirty promise behind his eyes. “It’s been too long, kitten.”

Oh, of course it would be that. He probably hadn’t noticed you’ve been avoiding him all this time, working through all of your bullshit attraction to him by yourself. He was probably off enjoying banging every girl he saw this past week, and now that that endeavor had gone dry he came crawling back to you. Just like he always did. Just like you always did, too, before you developed the pull for things that weren’t just sex with him.

“Ah, I see.” you said, was your voice strained or was it just you? He seemed to have noticed, but you continued. “I can’t really tonight, I already have…” you eyed around you, hoping to spot someone worthy of taking home and avoiding leaving with Jeongguk. “…plans.”

He raised his eyebrow, clearly not expecting that answer. “What kind of plans?”

“You know, I’m good for the evening. I have someone I’m leaving with.” you lied, eyes still searching for someone, anyone at this point.

“Who? Do I know them?”

That wasn’t the response you were expecting. He never asked that before. Neither of you had asked that before. Well, neither of you had denied each other before, either. But you assumed he would just believe you and let you leave with whoever you pleased. It was never a problem before.

You swallowed, the air around you seemed to have changed for some reason. The tension was growing and it was suffocating you.

“Uhm, probably not.” you laughed, trying to look relaxed, but you weren’t sure if that’s what it came across as. “I just met them at the bar a couple of minutes ago. Didn’t get a name.”

“Huh, I see.” his face was stone cold. “And you’d much rather choose them?”

Your eyes widened and something hard caught in your throat. What was going on? What that- No it couldn’t be. Jeongguk couldn’t be jealous. That wasn’t how this arrangement worked. That wasn’t how any of this worked.

You stumbled over your words as you tried to form an answer that didn’t sound like you were shaken by how he was looking at you, then you felt an arm snake around you and a new voice enter the conversation.

“Beat it. She already has someone for tonight.”

That voice sounded familiar, you turned your head and your eyes widened. Hoseok? What was he-

“And you are?” Jeongguk asked him, eyes blazing. Your eyes snapped back at him. He looked like he was sizing Hoseok up, ready to take him outside to pummel him to death. Your eyes trailed down and noticed his fists were clenched. Oh, boy. This was not how this was supposed to go at all.

Hoseok grinned and leaned in closer to press his cheek against yours. “I’m that someone.”

Something choked in your throat at his words and you spared a glance at Hoseok, eyes pleading to understand what the hell he was talking about.

You were so distracted by his bold statement that you didn’t notice how quiet everything has gotten, it was as if the music stopped playing and time slowed down around you. You swore you could have heard a pin drop in the room. Hoseok glanced at you and winked as if telling you to play along. When you looked back you were met by Jeongguk’s piercing gaze as it moved between you and Hoseok. His jaw was clenched so tight you could see the outline of his jaw muscles on his face. You’ve never seen him so angry before.

“I see.” he said curtly, voice ice cold. “Enjoy your time, then.”

And with that he was gone, pushing past a sea of people, away from your view. You heard music return, a loud bass playing through your ears. But there was something heavy in your chest as you watched him leave. You wanted to run after him and explain everything. To make it all right. To reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, it was all you and your fucking emotions that were going haywire. But you couldn’t. You had an arrangement. You were just friends. You couldn’t talk about emotions like that. It was just sex.

Your eyes stung from tears that were forming and threatening to spill.

Surely he would be able to find someone that was more than satisfactory for tonight, right? He was Jeongguk. He could have anyone. Anyone much better than you could ever be.

You blinked, wiping the few tears that managed to escape with your fingertips and turned to Hoseok. “Uh, thanks, Hobi. You didn’t have to do that.”

He looked over you and you felt his hand run through your hair, gently massaging your scalp. “Hey, it’s ok.” he smiled, eyes gentle, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You laughed hoarsely. “I think you’ve already figured it out, Hobi.”

He hummed in agreement, letting go of your hair and pulling you with him to go outside. It was a gesture you greatly appreciated as you were starting to feel too suffocated inside with all of the smell of alcohol and sweat. Your chest was begging for fresh air.

Once outside, he leaned against the rails of the porch and gestured for you to sit next to him. You did, tucking your ankles behind one another and stared out at the driveway. What a mess. Why did you have to treat Jeongguk like that? He probably would never want to see you ever again. You knew you wouldn’t after that.

“You like him, don’t you?” you heard Hoseok ask beside you in a soft whisper. It was framed like a question, but it was more of a statement and both of you already knew the answer.

You looked over at him and bit your lip before nodding, not trusting yourself to admit it out loud.

Hoseok studied you with his gaze and nodded back, his eyes solemn. “And you don’t want to be? Because you can’t be together?”

“We’re not like that…” you began, searching for words to explain why this whole situation was so difficult for you. “I- We’re supposed to be just friends that enjoy each other’s bodies. Nothing more. I didn’t expect this to happen.”

Hoseok laughed, albeit bitterly but with sympathy in his eyes. “What did you think was going to happen? You were just going to be fuck buddies until you finish college and move on? Haven’t you seen all those friends with benefits movies? How they end up?”

You smiled wryly. “I suppose I didn’t think it could happen to me. I’ve had no strings attached relationships most of my adult life, it was never a problem.”

“But this time something was different, right?” he looked at you knowingly and you felt heat rise to your cheeks.

“There’s something about him…” you mused, a small smile on your lips. “He always makes me do things I’ve never done, but instead of me getting uncomfortable with it or hating him, I enjoy it and grow.”

You heard Hoseok hum, nodding, and stared at your hands in your lap before continuing. “I feel alive with him, not just physically. It’s like I can do anything as long as he’s nearby and I want him by my side more and more.”

“And you’re scared to tell him all this because you don’t want to get rejected?”

You laughed dryly. “Oh, I know I’ll get rejected. Because he doesn’t feel the same. I’m just his best friend that he fucks when things get hard.”

Hoseok snorted at your choice of words and you rolled you eyes. “Pervert.”

“Hey, you’re the one that said it that way.”

“Anyways,” you stared unamused at his sheepish smile, “he doesn’t see me as anything more than that, and I don’t want to ruin everything we have over some feelings that could evaporate as fast as they appear.” you said bitterly. “I don’t trust emotions, they never stay.”

Hoseok opened his mouth and looked like he was about to say something, but held back and cleared his throat. “So what are you going to do?”

“Avoid him, kill these feelings and go back to how things were.”

“And what about after that?”

You looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“College is coming to an end for you, haven’t you thought what comes after that?” Hoseok pried, “Say you do manage to get rid of these feelings for Jeongguk, would you still keep the relationship going even after college? Do you even know if you’re staying here after?”

“I don’t.” you admitted, feeling like shit. “But it’d be easier to keep a no strings attached relationship going than a romantic one. Not that there’s a chance for it to develop into that anyway.”

Hoseok said your name and you met his eyes. “First off, stop trying to speak for him. You don’t know how he feels. You’re just telling yourself all this to hurt yourself because you feel guilty for enjoying something that happens naturally.”

You swallowed, taking his words in, but didn’t speak.

“Second,” Hoseok raised two fingers before continuing, “Figure your life out. Find out what you want, who you want, and whether you’re willing to try this with him.”

You heart skipped a beat at the thought.

“And third,” he raised another finger, “Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. You’ll need to anyways, regardless of what you choose to do with your life. Because he deserves to know what’s been going on with you.”

He saw you biting your lower lip in fear and sighed. “You at least owe him an explanation, it’s not just you who’s hurt here.” his eyes looked at you sadly.

You were silent for a moment, before you opened your mouth in defeat. “You’re right, Hobi.” you felt a tear slid down your cheek. “Like always, you know jut what to say.”

“Damn straight.” he wiped your tear with his finger.

“I should’ve told you all this weeks before.”

“Damn straight, you should of. I would’ve stopped you from letting it get to this point.”

You felt his hand on yours and him giving it a light squeeze. “Hey, it’s ok. We all fuck up in life, it’s part of learning.”

You laughed, your voice quivering. “Do you think he hates me?”

“Jeongguk?” Hoseok asked and shook his head. “No, I think he’s just upset. He cares about you. I don’t even know the guy that well, but I could see it. He’s been looking for you all night.”

You weren’t sure if that bit of information made you feel better or not. Perhaps not. Or perhaps the whole thing was bittersweet.

“Alright. I’m gonna go home and figure my shit out.” you said, sniffing, and stretched your back. You had a lot of thinking to do. A lot of words to scribble on pieces of papers before you could find the right thing to say to Jeongguk.

“I’ll drop you off.” Hoseok offered, wrapping his arm around you as you walked down the porch.

You nodded your head. “Thanks, Hobi. For everything.”

He smiled brightly. “Anytime. What would you do without me?”

“Probably still be bringing in Jeongguk look-a likes into my bed in hopes of getting over him.”

“Ew, tmi.”

“Haha, sorry.”

You: We need to talk.

Your fingers shook, palms clammy as you send that message. You hoped he was available. You were finally ready to face everything about what got you so twisted in this situation. And you were hoping he had calmed down enough to at least hear you out. That’s all you needed.

Jeongguk: I’m busy.

Your heart sank.

You: It’ll just take 5 mins. Please.

You set your phone down in your lap, hearing the waves crash in front of you and prayed, for the first time in your life, for some kind of cosmic force in the universe to convince him to see you, just one more time.

Jeongguk: Where are you rn?

Oh thank god, or whatever deity that processed your prayer in such a timely manner. Love and prosperity onto them. Bless.

You: At the beach. The one we went to last fall.

Jeongguk: ?? The hell? What are you doing there?

You: Sitting. Get your ass here so I can explain myself.

You imagined him smiling at your text, hopefully. Maybe it was funny. Maybe he didn’t hate you as much as you thought he did. You hoped he still tolerated you enough to come meet you. Or who knows maybe he hated your guts. The next text would tell you for sure.

Jeongguk: omw

Thank god.

You smiled as you read the text and slid your phone back in your pocket. You then took out a stack of pages of your thoughts and feelings to flip through as you waited.

So you might have lied about it taking five minutes. Yes, you were full of shit, but you could maybe try to summarize some key points to tell him. As if it was a presentation. Of your feelings. Wow, so that was a thing that was cringy. Jeez, you really were turning into an emotional mess.

It took him around ten minutes to get to you, and you could hear him stepping down the flight of stairs as he made his way down to the little blanket you had splayed out on the sand.

You felt him sit down next to you, crossing his legs and tore your gaze away from your scribbles to look at him. Your breath caught in your throat. He looked so devastatingly good, like he always did.

The leather jacket he sported looked too good on him, with a grey hoodie underneath and tight ripped jeans with black boots. Comfort and bad boy vibes all in one, you were blindsided for a moment.

Jeongguk cleared his throat. “Well? You said you wanted to talk?”

Was it just you or did it look like he had bags under his eyes? Was he sleeping enough? Has he been out partying the last couple of nights? You hoped he took care of himself without you, you knew how much he hated cooking.

God, that made it sound like the two of you were together… No wonder you fell for him so hard.

“Ah, yes.” you swallowed a large sum of saliva down your throat that you didn’t know you had before moving to face him, crossing your own knees. “I wanted to start by apologizing for blowing you off that night. That wasn’t cool.”

He shrugged, playing with one of the threads of the blanket. “It’s whatever, I found someone else. No big deal.”

Jealousy burned in your chest, but you swallowed, trying to calm it down. Take a breath, you’re here to apologize, not get possessive. Get your shit together.

He wouldn’t meet your eyes, so you continued.

“I also wanted to apologize for avoiding you before that too. That wasn’t cool either, friends don’t do that to each other.”

A wry smile spread on his face at the word ‘friends’, but he didn’t say anything. You cleared your throat, hating how awkward the whole situation seemed. He really wasn’t helping you. You had to crawl out of this mess yourself.

You braced yourself.

“And I also needed to tell you that I fucked up.”

That got his attention, he stopped playing with the fabric and raised his eyes to meet yours, they were full of confusion. He looked so cute with that face, you fought the urge to kiss him. Fuck, not now. This was important.

“I fucked up with our agreement,” you explained, “We were supposed to be best friends who occasionally helped each other get off. Just sex and that’s it. There wasn’t supposed to be anything beyond that.” you bit your lip, looking away from his gaze, not ready to look at him with what came next, “But I fucked it up by falling for you.”

He didn’t say anything, and you could hear your heart thump hard in your chest at your confession. Fuck, okay. It’s not over yet. Fuck, fuck.

You had to remind yourself to keep breathing.

“It started when you took me skinny dipping here,” you motioned to the sea, your eyes lost on the horizon. “I’ve never done anything like that before, and to be honest, I don’t think I would ever have if you hadn’t made me.” you smiled a little at the memory of how you felt underwater.

“It was the first time I let go, and it really made me think about a lot of things.” you tugged at your sleeves. “About how alive you always make me feel. And how I don’t mind you pushing me to try new things. I enjoy it, in fact.”

You still avoided looking at him, you were doing good. So far you were able to talk without fucking up. It was going good. Onto the next point.

“However, I realized that I should not harbor such feelings as it would endanger our friendship, and, well, just make things complicated in general.” you bit the inside of your cheek before continuing, “So I tried to deal with them before they caused any trouble.”

You let out a dry laugh. “Didn’t really work. I found myself taking home guys that looked like you and thinking about what you were up to constantly. It was kind of ridiculous.”

You thought you heard him snort softly, but it was hard to tell with the sound of the waves crashing.

“So anyways, while that was going on, I tried to ignore you in the meantime in fear of slipping up and you finding out about these, feelings, and well,” you laughed, “that clearly wasn’t a good strategy either, cause I should’ve expected sooner or later you’d want my company again and find me, despite my futile attempts.”

You let out a long breath. “So, here we are, awkward and uncertain about what’ll happen now.” your lips thinned. You still couldn’t look at him. “I just want to apologize for not telling you sooner and instead acting like a child. I didn’t mean for all this to happen.”

You felt your eyes stinging, fuck, no. Not now. Really, it was the worst time for you to start crying. Get it together. You’re almost done.

“It’s just-” but the tears started to spill. Ah, fuck.

You laugh at yourself, wiping them with the sleeves of your shirt. “Look at me, I don’t even have my life together; I don’t know what I’m doing after college, I don’t know who I want to be or what I want, and now I’m crying over a simple talk that most people would’ve finished with by now.” you shook your head, chest feeling tight. You took a deep breath.

“It’s just… the only thing I’m sure of,” you hiccuped and gulped, “is that you’re the only thing that make sense in my life.”

After that you finally dared to look at him. Once your eyes landed on him your breath caught in your throat. Jeongguk was looking at you with such wide glassy eyes, it stopped you in your tracks. You had more you wanted to say, but with just one glance you were stricken wordless.

Time around you seemed to slow down, and you focused in on him, on the bits of tears that stained the sides of his eyes, the slight agape of his mouth. How he was looking at you, as if staring into your soul, and not moving.

You felt your heartbeat thumping in your ears as you saw him leaning in closer to you. Up to the point your noses touched. He was so close you could feel his warm breath on your lips. Your eyes were glued to him. He was all you could see.

“Do you mean that?” he said, so softly you could barely hear him.

You choked a little and nodded, making your noses rub against each other at the motion.

And he was kissing you. Your eyes shut as you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. He pulled you closer in his tight hold around your waist.

His lips were so soft and warm, and he kissed you like he was out of breath and needed oxygen, as if it was something he was born to do. You wrapped your legs around his frame and sat in his lap, just wanting to be close. As close as you could get.

His hands trailed up and down your back, slipping underneath your shirt to run across your skin. You shuddered.

Tears kept spilling, staining your cheeks and his. But neither of you stopped, you kept kissing until your lips were swollen and you both needed pull away to breathe.

The both of you rested your foreheads against each other, taking short breaths and eyes locked.

“I-”

“Fuck, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” he said, gasping against your face.

Your cheeks reddened. “You have?”

Jeongguk smiled, “Yeah, but you said no kissing when we made that damn arrangement.”

You had felt foolish, so absolutely foolish. “I’m sorry.”

He pecked your lips.

You blushed and found yourself asking, “So, do you like me?”

Jeongguk raised his eyebrow at you and smiled. “What do you think?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d ever like me like that.”

“Stop saying sorry and just kiss me, you dolt. That’ll make up for it.”

Before you could respond his lips were on yours again. And you found yourself not really minding that. Or however many times it’ll take for you to make it up to him.

“Fuck you.” Jeongguk groaned. “I want chinese.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. “And I want pizza.”

The two of you were sitting on his couch, a bunch of take out fliers spread out around you, arguing over what to have for dinner once again. Somehow it felt familiar, almost like a routine. And something about that made your heart squeeze affectionately at the thought.

“How about this,” you stared at him seriously, “A compromise; we get a chinese flavoured pizza.”

Jeongguk threw a pillow at your face, his face unamused. “That’s not a compromise, we’ve been over this. That’s you getting your pizza.”

You cackled at him, clutching the pillow to your chest as he tried to grab it from you to throw it at you again.

“Fine, how about chicken wings?”

He stopped trying to pull the pillow away from you at that and smiled his beautiful smile that made your heart race every single time.

“That sounds perfect.” he said as he grabbed his phone to place the order.

And, for once, it was; perfect.

#bts fanfic #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jeongguk smut #jeongguk angst #jeongguk fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #junkook scenario #jeongguk scenario #junkook x reader #jeongguk x reader #bts x reader #just take it from me #idek what this is anymore

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dvp95 · 5 years ago

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can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 10

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, deeper than anticipated but still not that deep y'all this is primarily silly, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 4,286 for this chapter (45,795 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"Daniel?"

Dan blinks. He blinks again, zoning back into the conversation he's supposed to be a part of.

"Er," he says, sheepish. "What was the question?"

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Daniel?" the woman asks - the interviewer asks, fuck, this is like the sixth time he's asked her to repeat herself. "I heard you were ill yesterday, weren't you?"

He wasn't. But that is what Jaime and Patrick had sworn up and down to anyone who asked, because they're good partners in crime like that. They look like they regret it now.

"Yeah, Daniel," Jaime says, stressing his name in a way that makes Dan think she's one more fuckup from smacking him in the back of the head. He'd probably deserve it, at this point. He can't remember being this scatterbrained in his whole life, and that's saying something. "You sure you're okay being out of bed?"

The word 'bed' gets stressed too, just a bit, and Dan feels a flush creeping up his neck.

It's honestly unreasonable how he can't seem to focus on the task at hand, which is answering softball questions about the show he's worked on for three years, because his mind keeps drifting back to Phil.

Phil, who he'd left in bed with Thor, all sleepy noises and grumpiness at Dan needing to leave. Phil, who has the day off and might still be mostly naked and lazy while he waits for Dan to come back. Phil, who he only has three days left with.

Three more days in London. Two sleeps. And Dan has shit to do every single goddamn day of it.

This is a work trip, technically. They've got a handful of interviews the next two days that couldn't be scheduled for their first London stretch, and then they're going to France. That's exciting, it is, a mark of success that Dan never expected for himself, but right now he's frustrated by anything that cuts into the time he could be using to kiss Phil.

Dan is so busy remembering how Phil's mouth had felt against his that he forgets to answer the question. He can practically feel his eyes glaze over.

"Daniel," Patrick says, audibly exasperated.

It takes a lot to get Patrick to that point, so Dan ducks his head and mumbles another apology.

"He's fine," Jaime tells the very nice and concerned interviewer whose name Dan has long forgotten. "He's just got a lot on his mind right now and he's really shit at multitasking."

"Hey," says Dan. It's a weak protest.

The interviewer is a tall woman with kind eyes that crinkle into laughter lines when she smiles at him. She's dressed casually, has a denim jacket with patches and pins all over it, and Dan feels his eyes linger at the rainbow on her pocket.

What is that like? To be so certain and so confident that you can wear it on your sleeve even in a professional environment? Dan doesn't know that he'll be able to get there.

He wants to compliment her on it. It's the same urge he had in the restaurant with Phil's family, vocalizing that he wishes he could wear more nail polish. The same swirling anxiety of being judged for it follows quickly, but this time it's amplified by the recording device in the interviewer's hand, the knowledge that anything he says right now will be analyzed to death later.

Dan wants to live authentically, and he wants to get to a place where he doesn't need to hide, but he's frustrated by the reality of how much progress that's going to take. It's not going to be easy, it already hasn't been, and it's never going to stop.

Even with making a name for himself and having an audience, Dan knows that coming out publicly still won't stop strangers from making assumptions about him or demanding an explanation for the women he's been seen with. He'll have to come out over and over and - it's scary. It's really scary.

The compliment catches in his throat. He can't say it to someone recording him, no matter how kind her eyes are. He hasn't even told his grandma yet.

"I like your jacket," he says instead. He feels like a coward for it.

"Thanks," the woman says brightly, looking down at herself and tapping one of her bigger patches. "Customized it myself, obviously. It's a wee bit more colourful than you like to be seen in, right?"

The casual chirping helps Dan relax, reminds him that this is a laid-back interview with easy questions. Nobody is shining a heat lamp on him and asking for an expose on how he spent part of last night inside of another man.

He grins and shrugs. "Yeah, alright, I wear a lot of black. Sue me. I can still think colours look nice on some people."

Great. Now he's thinking about Phil again.

"Like Jaime," Patrick offers, tugging at one of Jaime's bubblegum braids. Dan still can't tell if it's a wig or not, but she smacks Patrick's hand away like it's her own hair.

"That's true," says Dan. "Jaime wears as much black as I do, though, I dunno that she's the best example."

Patrick nods, solemn. "At least her hair is interesting."

"Oi, fuck you. Sorry," Dan adds sheepishly. Even though this is an online print interview, he still feels a little bit of shame whenever he slips up and curses during an interview.

The woman - Cara? Catherine? Camilla? Ca-something? - just laughs and waves his apology off.

With an ease that Dan can't help but notice isn't quite as practised as Phil's, the interviewer moves on to questions about their other cast members. While they don't have any trouble making fun of each other, it's even more fun to exaggerate stories of people who aren't here to defend themselves.

Dan tries so hard to participate. He does. He laughs in all the right places and gives Jaime grief for not remembering something right, because he's given this poor interviewer nothing of substance. The thing is that Jaime is better at telling stories and Patrick is so dry and stoic with interrupting jokes that Dan knows he isn't needed for this. He lets them bicker over a story detail that he's long forgotten and feels himself start to zone back out.

He listens to Patrick's slow timbre, Jaime's trill of a laugh, and lets his mind drift back to where it wants to be.

Even though it's tempting, Dan isn't stupid enough to text Phil in the middle of doing his fucking job. He has to resort to checking his phone between interviews and pictures, getting more and more pouty about the lack of response to the things he's sending throughout the morning. Phil must be having a lie-in, because it takes him a couple of hours to even see Dan's texts.

ugh i should have just stayed in bed

pls send thor pics

and you pics but like give me a heads up if your dick is out im at work

i dropped my coffee on jaimes lap fml shes gonna kill me

im just so distracted lmaooo

canft believe youre just asleep thats so rude

Oh nooooooo. I always cry over spilt coffee :( you want me to bring you one? I can come hang out for lunch!

The sweet text is accompanied by a photo of Thor asleep on the sofa, his little head pillowed on Phil's knee. Phil is wearing Dan's pyjama pants and - it's hard to tell for sure, with the way the photo is angled, but Dan thinks he's got the Friends shirt on. Frankly, that should be gross. Dan wore that shirt for way too long for it not to smell like, well, his sweat, and that is objectively not sexy.

Dan feels gooey warmth spread from his stomach outwards, anyway. Maybe it is gross, but it makes him happy to think about Phil's shirt smelling like him the way that his own Yeezy shirt still faintly smells like Phil. He covers his mouth with a hand so nobody milling around will see him grinning like an idiot.

thats ok, Dan texts back one-handed. yall look comfy you should stay. i'll b back for dinner and snuggles ok?

Ok! ^_^

God, but Dan wants to be there now. He wants to be the one cuddled up with his head in Phil's lap. He recognises that it's very stupid to be jealous of a dog, but he isn't going to let that stop him.

"Hey, Howell." Patrick's voice interrupts the daydream of slender fingers carding through Dan's hair.

Dan blinks. He blinks again, looks up.

"I didn't even see you sit down," Dan tells him, bemused. They're sharing a bench in the building's lobby, not wanting to go too far in case they need to go back upstairs for more photos during the short break in their day.

"Yeah, you're on another planet," says Patrick. Dan wishes he could argue that fact. "Things went well with your whole Love Actually emergency, then?"

The reference pulls Dan up short. He feels his brow furrow as he walks through the entire film in his head. "What are you talking about? None of this happened in Love Actually."

"It's British, isn't it," Patrick says nonsensically.

"I don't," Dan starts, but then he gives up. He and Patrick are close as coworkers - friends, even - but Dan never quite understands the links that Patrick's brain makes. "It went well. It went really well. I don't know if Jaime told you everything I texted her, but I like... fully ended up meeting the family."

Patrick's eyebrows raise slightly. That's quite a reaction, from him. "You met the parents? Bro. You just started dating."

They're not in an overly crowded area, but people keep waking by them on their way in or out of the building, so Dan is pleasantly surprised to discover that Patrick can play the pronoun game, too.

"Yeah," says Dan. He doesn't want to get into the mix-up right now. He's sure that Patrick will have another incomprehensible reference when he hears about it. "But it just feels... I dunno. Right? In a way other people haven't? Maybe that's obvious."

"It's not obvious," says Patrick. He's snapping a hair elastic around his wrist idly, the gesture something Dan had thought was an expression of annoyance or frustration when they first met. Dan knows now that it means Patrick is tired, that he wants to shove his hair off his shoulders and stop it from tickling his neck. They're only halfway through their day, though, still a couple of photoshoots to get through, so he can't put his hair up just yet.

Dan knows so much about these people. He's learned it all from such close proximity for the past three years, but he also genuinely likes spending time with them. He feels, suddenly, very guilty for wishing cancellation on this thing they've all worked so hard for.

"Sorry," Dan says.

"For what?"

He doesn't really know how to voice it. He shrugs. "For being a shit coworker right now."

Patrick gives him an indecipherable look and shakes his head. "Daniel," he says, "you're not being a shit coworker."

"I kind of am, though," says Dan. "Like I can't focus at all, I'm missing interviews, and I... I don't know how much I want to go back to Atlanta. Is that bad?"

"Why would that be bad?" Patrick hums. "This is your home."

Home isn't an easy concept for Dan to wrap his head around. He hadn't had a happy one for most of his life, hadn't been able to find somewhere that felt quite right ever since he escaped that. So it's a little disconcerting when Patrick's words settle into his chest and feel like indisputable truth.

"London is home," Dan echoes, wondering it it feels just as right coming out of his own mouth. It does. His head is spinning, a bit.

"Yeah," Patrick says, like it's that easy.

Dan gives himself a little shake back into the present. He smiles, wry. "Still, I probably shouldn't be crossing my fingers under tables for the producers to shut us down."

For a moment, Patrick looks confused. Dan is all ready to apologise again, shove those feelings down, but Patrick just says, "So negotiate your contract. You know that you aren't required by law to see the show through to the end, right? You can just not come back for season four, or only come back for a couple episodes instead of a full season."

They're sat in a fairly public area, with other people walking about, but Dan could hear a pin drop in the shattering silence that rings in his ears at Patrick's use of logic.

"I," says Dan, "did not think of that."

Patrick nods. "You kind of tunnel-vision sometimes, has anyone ever told you that?"

By the time Dan returns to Phil's building, he's talked himself into and back out of quitting his job a dozen times. It's a dumb decision, but not much dumber than simply waiting for someone else to make the decision for him.

He decides to call Amy when he's in France and talk the options through with her. She's already looking for potential gigs in the UK for him, so hopefully the conversation isn't going to come as much of a surprise to her. The last thing he needs is for his agent to get upset with him over making changes in his life.

Dan's head is buzzing with it, loud enough to give him a headache. He texts Phil that he's outside and waits to be let in. He gets an intrusive domestic fantasy of letting himself in with his own key, and reminds himself to rein in this U-Haul bullshit.

"Hey!" Phil beams as he opens the door and steps back for Dan to come in. Other people live on the other floors, but Phil still leans in for a long kiss the moment the door closes behind Dan.

It sends sparks up Dan's spine and quiets some of the unending noise in his head. He sighs, leans into the kiss, wraps his arms around Phil's waist to pull him even closer.

He's cognizant of where they are, though, so he pulls back to rest their foreheads together after a moment. "Hey yourself."

"Did you have a good day?" Phil asks, his tri-coloured eyes bright and unguarded.

"Yeah, but it's better now," says Dan. He's parroting what Phil said to him yesterday, and he can tell that Phil recognises it from the little smile on his face. "You look nice. You showered just for me?"

Phil laughs and tugs at Dan's wrist, pulling him down the stairs. They've got four left feet between them, honestly, so it's a miracle nobody takes a nosedive.

"Yeah," he says as they narrowly avoid any number of broken bones. He presses Dan against the wall next to his front door and grins at him. "But it was also for the judgey moms at the dog park. You look nicer, you didn't take the makeup off?"

To be honest, Dan had forgotten it was even on his face. He settles his hands on Phil's hips and smiles. "They made me look like the best version of me, why would I erase all their hard work?"

"Mm, you do look pretty," Phil says, and Dan is lucky to have his back against a wall. His knees might have actually buckled at the praise if he was unsupported.

"Pretty, huh?" Dan asks. He tries to keep his tone dry, like it's a big joke, but Phil's big eyes just see too much.

"Very pretty," says Phil. Dan doesn't know how to handle being complimented by Phil's deep, sincere voice, but he isn't given much of a chance to react before Phil is speaking again. "But I don't know that I'd call this the best version of you. You looked really nice when you came, y'know."

"Fuck, Phil," Dan laughs, a little breathless. "I was literally gone for ten hours."

"Ten hours too many," Phil grumbles.

Dan laughs again, but he has to admit that Phil has a point. The day had absolutely dragged on with the knowledge that his probably-boyfriend was waiting for him.

"You wanna go inside, then?" Dan suggests, running his thumbs just under the hem of Phil's clean shirt. "I'll do a lot of things, but this floor is cement, mate. I'm not blowing you out here."

The giggle that's surprised out of Phil makes Dan smile so wide it hurts his cheeks. He smacks the center of Dan's chest lightly and steps back to let them both into his flat. "I was thinking we could, like, order dinner first or whatever, but I'm not going to complain if you want to switch up the itinerary."

"The itinerary," Dan mocks, looking around for a ball of fluff running directly at them as he struggles with his shoes. "Uh, where's Thor?"

"Uh," says Phil. There's colour high in his cheeks that he tries to hide by flopping onto the sofa. The sweats he stole off of Dan don't really leave much to the imagination at all, not when he's sitting like that, and Dan almost loses his balance when he stands up straight. The pink doesn't leave Phil's face, but a knowing smirk joins it. "He's in the bathroom."

Dan's heart skips like an old CD player and he laughs to mask just how fond he is. "Uh huh, and here you are acting like you were really ordering food first."

"Well," Phil says, his smirk growing, "we could still order first, it'd be at least twenty."

"Sounds like a challenge," Dan hums, coming around the sofa to sit on the other end and lean forward, kissing the sliver of skin where Phil's shirt is riding up. "Why don't you do that, and I'll go get a bloody condom."

Phil blushes, proper blushes, and pulls a packet out of his pocket. "Ta-da," he jokes, weakly. "For my next trick -"

"If you say you're going to make your penis disappear," Dan says, flat, "then I'm walking out."

They just look at each other for a long moment, like a staring contest neither of them initiated, and then Phil snorts. That sets them both off and soon enough they're laughing, Dan's nose tucked against Phil's hipbone and Phil's hand over his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say that," Phil insists, still giggling. "I wasn't."

"Sure you weren't." Dan grins up at him and slides up his body, a little less graceful than he'd imagined it in his head. He presses their smiles together and licks into Phil's mouth. A little noise passes between them when Phil's hands find their way into Dan's hair, but Dan isn't sure which of them it comes from.

The giddy feeling of laughter doesn't leave Dan's chest. He lets it make a home there as he trails kisses all over Phil's long, pale neck. He doesn't need to guess when Phil likes something - he squirms and makes these little huffs of noises, grip on Dan's curls tightening just a bit before it loosens again. It feels impossibly powerful to learn how to take Phil apart like this, like they're teenagers snogging on the sofa in their first relationship.

It's strange that this does feel like a first relationship for Dan, in a lot of ways. He loved his first girlfriend and cared about other women he's dated, but it's not the same at all.

Finally, Dan is allowed to feel all the things he's supposed to have felt when he was younger. He's allowed to let budding affection and lust and friendship all wrap up in one person.

"So, the piercings," Dan murmurs, letting his hand slide up Phil's shirt to toy with one of them.

"What about them?" Phil asks. He already sounds impatient and needy, like he had last night, and the sound of it goes straight to Dan's dick.

Dan laughs and sits up, helping Phil get his shirt off over his head. "I mean, do they do things for you? Do they feel good when I touch them? How do you want me to touch them to make them feel good?"

"Do you always ask this many questions during sex?" Phil asks, dry.

There's no point in lying. "Yeah, I tend to babble." Dan gives him a winning smile and taps at Phil's hips, a silent request for him to lift up. Phil does happily, arching up for Dan and letting his stolen sweats get tugged off. "Guess you'll have to shut me up somehow."

Phil laughs, muffling the sound of it with his palm, and shakes his head. He looks so fucking gorgeous like this, giggly and naked and starting to get hard against his thigh. Dan has no idea how he got this lucky.

"That's such a terrible line," Phil informs him, grinning wide. He doesn't seem bothered by Dan being dressed when he isn't. He just settles back against the cushions and wiggles a bit, either trying to get comfortable or just teasing Dan. Either is possible at this point.

"It's not a line," Dan protests, shrugging his jacket off and settling back between Phil's legs. He presses his mouth to Phil's soft tummy and, unable to help himself, blows a raspberry.

Phil kicks out at him, instinctive, and his tongue is trapped between his teeth as he tries to hold back giggles.

"My nipples aren't sensitive," Phil tells him, voice wavering with some combination of amusement and arousal. He drops a hand to wrap around his own cock, thumbing at the metal on the tip of it. "This is. It, like, tugs. It's nice."

Biting back a groan at the sight, Dan digs around for the condom. He impatiently knocks Phil's hand out of the way to get him hard enough that he can roll it on. The piercing just above his balls settles nicely at the bottom of the latex, almost like it's holding it in place. Dan rolls it between his fingers, watches Phil's eyes flutter closed. "And this one?"

"Not as much. Still good, though." Phil's tongue darts out to lick his lips, and Dan grins at the unconscious reminder of what he's meant to be doing.

It's not the most comfortable for them to be laid out on the sofa like this, lanky as they are, but Dan isn't nineteen anymore. His knees do not hold up the way they used to. He wraps his hand around the base of Phil's cock and lets the tips of his fingers idly play with the metal bar as he finally gets his mouth on Phil.

Dan isn't used to the taste of latex accompanying a blowjob, but it isn't unpleasant. He gives Phil a couple of long licks and then sucks lightly at the head, not sure how much pressure Phil likes yet.

That's something he thinks he'd love to learn. He wants to know everything about Phil's body, wants to make him tremble with it.

Dan is extremely offended when he glances up and sees that Phil is tapping something on his phone, but the offense settles when Phil huffs a laugh and says, "Put in for takeaway. All yours, now."

The phone gets put down and Dan tongues at the bump of Phil's Prince Albert ring through the condom. That makes Phil's breath hitch, his hips jerk just a bit.

It's been years since Dan has had a cock in his mouth, but he likes to think it's like riding a bike. He takes Phil deep, hollows out his cheeks, repeats any motion that makes Phil let out soft groans. He forgot how much he likes this, fuck.

Much like everything else, it's somehow impossibly better with Phil.

Phil keeps a hand in Dan's hair and braces the other on the back of the sofa, breathing hard, and Dan doesn't want to close his eyes and miss a fucking moment of this.

"Fuck," Phil breathes, and Dan responds with an answering moan around his dick. "Yeah, alright, that's - fuck, Dan, you feel so good, look so pretty like that."

The praise still makes Dan shudder. He sucks Phil harder, feeling the weight of Phil's cock on his tongue as he speeds up his movements.

Dan remembers blowjobs to be pretty fast. He also never gave one to a man older than twenty, though, and his jaw starts to ache once he realises that Phil isn't going to be pushed over the edge as quickly as he's used to.

He pulls off to give his jaw a break, stroking Phil and pressing his open mouth along the side of him.

"You think I feel nice?" Dan laughs, pleased by the way the gust of air makes Phil's cock twitch. "Fucking, forgot how good this feels."

"Yeah?" Phil prompts, his voice deep and breathy and so, so nice to listen to. No wonder he's so successful on the radio. "You like sucking cock?"

Dan shivers. "Yeah," he says. He's unashamed, because he feels safe here with Phil. He can admit to liking a cock in his mouth, a hand in his hair, being called pretty. "Yours specifically, though."

Phil laughs. "That's good. I like specifically your cock, too." He looks over at his kitchen for a moment and raises his eyebrows. "I'll get dressed and answer the door when the pizza gets here if you can make me come in the next five minutes."

Well. Never let it be said that Dan Howell backs down from a challenge.

#phanfic #phan #phanfiction #dnp fic #words words words #can't breathe when you touch my sleeve

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allurefm-blog · 5 years ago

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hey ! my name is link ! i go by he / they pronouns , am 21+ & live in the cst timezone ! i’m an obnoxious aries , but i promise i’m nice for a clown . i’m excited to be here ‘cause i’m a slice of life h*e . & this here is my weirdo tommy , who i hope you’ll like a lot . under the cut , you’ll find some misc. info & wanted connections , but here’s his dossier & pinterest board , which has more information for you . feel free to like this if you’d like to plot & i’ll swing by in your ims ( or ask for discord which is honestly easier for me but it’s okay if you don’t ) !

☕ . ˚ ◝ ( kim jongin. genderfluid. he/they. ) thomas “tommy” song is a twenty-five year old gemini. the deja brew barista’s go-to order is matcha lemonade and grilled cheese. they like to listen to tempo by lizzo feat. missy elliott while they wait for their order. the employees of the deja brew think they are inconsistent but swear they’re totally versatile as well. maybe that’s why collected sketchbooks that remain empty, horror movie marathons, band tees paired with perpetually messy hair remind me of them.

misc. info : ( content warning for : emotional abuse & neglect, negative religious imagery )

they’ve always lived in the la area & don’t really see themselves leaving even if they hate it here sometimes for whatever reasons they made up in their heads

their father owns several businesses & is generally well off. he has people convinced that he’s a really good guy but in private he’s an unbearable asshole. just really nitpicky about everything & overbearing in forcing his opinions on his family

their mother was a struggling actress & the few projects she was in flopped & then she became too old by society’s standards to get work & tommy’s dad ragged on her for it, poking at her appearance / weight until she finally gave up & settled for being his assistant

not only is their dad just a dick he’s also extremely catholic which intensified his already aggressive personality. for as long as tommy can remember their dad nagged him for anything possible. they never seemed to be “enough of a man” for him which absolutely tainted the way they viewed themselves

this plays a large part into why they decided to dump the idea of being a man period. all their life they never felt comfortable with being masculine & felt like a failure any time they tried but it wasn’t until their late teens that they felt comfortable identifying as nonbinary

they also suffer from a lot of catholic guilt. their dad was that typical shitty religious guy who went on homophobic rants at random so those views affect them even now

while they consider themselves closeted & default to saying they’re straight when asked they don’t keep up with it very well. any time a pretty guy makes eye contact with them they’re gonna go for it then beat themselves up for it later

they’re a thot. they enjoy physical intimacy but don’t really believe in the idea of romantic love ( yep his dad ruined that for them too ) so they prefer to sleep around than try to get close to anyone

whatever relationships they’ve been in they probably ruined it by not being affectionate or caring enough because they never learned how to be like that with another person ( whatever feelings they and their mother shared were more out of pity than actual love )

also they might be a cheater. i haven’t fully decided if they have or not but they definitely consider it constantly when they’re dating ( if you want some kind of plot like this let’s goooo )

so basically they struggled growing up but just emotionally & mentally. they were great in school but they hated the experience & everything along with their parents caused them to become pretty anxious & introverted in their adulthood

they can & will go out but they prefer not to & they’re terrible at socializing. things can be pretty awkward with them without them meaning to. & their sense of humor is very dry so it can come off as mean ( again without meaning to )

they’re really interested in drawing & painting but they went to college for computer science & honestly it makes them pretty miserable but they’d rather suffer than deal with their dad jumping down their throat

they took a couple of years off from school to gather themselves mentally ( basically had a breakdown in the middle of a semester & their dad still drags him for it ) but are in their senior year now

they only answer to tommy. if you call them tom or thomas you’ll just get a scowl in response then ignored

basically they’re both a fake goth & art hoe. they wear black sometimes but not constantly but always refer to themselves as a goth & they buy more sketchbooks than they need ‘cause they never draw in them ( they prefer using napkins & their textbooks )

they roll up their jeans and their sleeves because they’re bisexual

dogs are some of the only things that will make them outwardly happy if you want them to lose their mind then just show them a dog or even pics / videos

they love matcha it’s their favorite flavor but they actually hate coffee despite working in a cafe. but they’re really good at making latte art & getting tips because they’re pretty & and good at flirting with customers

they’re obsessed with horror movies. they relate a lot to movie monsters for trans reasons & find them comforting even when they’re super gory. currently their favorite movie is midsommar so you can catch them going off about it a lot

they love slushies & smoothies. if it’s blended & has a lot of sugar then they fuck with it heavily. also most of the time they’re too lazy to make their own food so they use drinks a lot as meal replacements

they can’t cook worth a damn. they probably get most of their food from deja brew

they love plants a lot & keep a bunch of them at all times

they’re a hipster they love collecting vinyls & patches for their many denim jackets

they love going on drives to anywhere everywhere at random. they don’t need a destination they just wanna drive

they sleep in small four hour bursts & are pretty much always tired

they love pizza & pasta. if it’s italian they’re a stan

they’re super clumsy. probably run into things or trip five times a day

they’re secretly dramatic & gets upset when their friends / lovers don’t give them enough attention but they will never bring it up other than through playing it up

they collect band tees even for bands they don’t listen to & they don’t care if they get called out for it

wanted connections :

rooommates ( one or two )

exes ( any gender. it can be messy or friendly. i’m willing to have tommy be the issue since they can be rather uncaring & we could even do a cheating plot if you want maximum angst. also bonus points if they’re exes that are still “involved”. )

hookups / fwbs ( any gender. singular experiences or regular type things )

childhood plots for those who’ve lived in la ( childhood friends, first kisses / crushes, all that good stuff )

high school sweethearts

their first sexual experience with someone masculine. i want the awkward teen ( or early twenties whichever ) experience & it’s probably something that tommy gets ( dare i say it ? ) shy about even now

flirtationships that don’t go anywhere

maybe a regular customer that they keep flirting with & the customer thinks they actually have a thing for them but they don’t & it’s weird & awk

maybe they fuck up your drink and your muse is mad about it but they try to flirt their way out of it with either good or disastrous results

your muse is the person that has to deal with this behavior

one-sided crushes ( don’t mind who has the feelings ! )

mutual pining but they’re both idiots & have no idea

anything from this tag

party buddies. horror movie buddies. video game buddies. road trip buddies. any of these can be combined

tinder date ( it can go well or not )

literally anything you can think of i’m probably down for it

#hqbrew:intro #⟨ * o13 . ━━━ 𝑳𝑰𝑽𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑳𝑰𝑪𝑰𝑶𝑼𝑺𝑳𝒀 ╱ ooc ��

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simstationdance · 5 years ago

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10 Random Questions Rule: Answer 10 random Questions and tag 10 simmers! (im too lazy for this part so anyone who wants to do it can do it sdfdhsgfsh)

i was tagged by @hystericallytragicsimmer (thank u!) so HERE I GO

1. If you could travel one place in the world where would you travel? hmmm. this is a very difficult question bc i dont think about this very often. i guess canada, to visit one of my friends who lives there.

2. What do you do in your free time away from sims? hang out with friends, listen to music, make music (link to my music tag on my main blog, bc why not), i also draw sometimes but not very often these days, i used to draw a lot of comics.

3. What other games do you play besides the sims? uhh... spyro reignited (fave), terraria, dragon age, death road to canada (i have only gotten to canada once in that game and never again since), stardew valley, other stuff i cant think of. i also play a lot of tabletop rpgs because im a turbo nerd

4. How tall are you? i’m actually quite short, standing at an itty bitty 5′2 i can’t reach the highest cabinets in my kitchen and it makes me angry

5. One random interest of yours? i’m very deeply interested in psychology, but the idea of being, like, a therapist or a counselor in real life scares me because i wouldn’t be good at it. so instead i just write stories and deep-dive into the psychology of fictional people sdfghsdfh

6. Current favourite bands or artists? marina (formerly ‘and the diamonds’), tame impala, kate bush, new order, and lemon demon. ive also been listening to quite a few talking heads songs on loop lately

7. Something you’re looking forward to? my friend’s birthday partyyyyyy (it’s gonna be a virtual party because uhhh... you know...)

8. Current favorite films? these days i usually just watch really bad movies because they’re fun to make fun of, and this question made me realize, with shock, that i haven’t watched a GOOD movie in a really long time and as a result i dont have a solid answer.

so rather than list off my favorite films, i’ll just tell you not to watch every single air buddies spin off movie, least of all to watch them twice due to losing a bet. i have suffered enough.

9. What food could you not live without? pizza, probably.

10. Favourite series (book or movie series)? when i was a kid i was a very big fan of the novel versions of the W.I.T.C.H. comic books and to be quite honest, i still am. it may have a little early 2000s jank but most of the things i’m nostalgic for do.

#|| extra #nonsims

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reedrph · 6 years ago

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REEDRPH

HOW TO TWITTER RP (A DETAILED GUIDE)

As per request, I’m about to tell you how to roleplay in the Twitter roleplay community if you’re interested in starting. This is just my take on Twitter roleplay, and I’m sure there are others with different methods. But I’ll try to break this down step by step with pIcTuReS because I fucking love pictures.

TLDR; (Because im lazy)

GENERAL

Alright so if you’re unaware what twitter roleplaying is it’s roleplaying via Twitter; though you’ll find all the roleplay mains on tumblr in the ‘twitter rp’ tag. Unlike tumblr roleplaying where you write in the third-person, for twitter roleplays you write in first-person. As it’s social media based your tweets come from a first-person perspective which means everything is ‘I’ based. However, it is not uncommon for people to roleplay out paras in the DMs just like how you’d write on tumblr.

Twitter roleplays are fast, everything is happening that day at that moment, opposed to tumblr groups where you may be doing a thread set a week ago. They’re great if you don’t have a lot of time, but still want to roleplay, or want to try out a more fast-paced environment!!

APPLYING

Honestly applying for a twitter group is pretty much the same as applying for an appless tumblr group.

Now something that I tend to see a lot in twitter groups (at least the last time I checked the tag like three months ago MNXBXNBX and from my experience running them) groups drop into the tag but often won’t have their app up for 1-3 days. During that time they’re basically just building hype and gathering an audience, so when they do open it’ll be a swAMP of apps coming in in the first hour. If you like playing a popular faceclaim (like me and Jungkook) I find I rarely manage to snatch him up before anyone else.

But the actual app itself is normally easy, a lot of the time it’ll be requested you submit it opposed to using the ask box (since they may be a little bit too long for it) so prepare for that!!

SETTING UP AN ACCOUNT

Once you’ve been accepted it’s common to be given 6-12 hours to get your account in. You may think this is a short period of time, but you can put together a twitter account in 20 minutes.

A common theme, that I’ve never really experienced is people getting locked out of new accounts, though from my history using an email and cell phone verification can prevent this. (if you include your cell phone number go into your twitter settings and disable letting people find you from your phone number) As well as people say not mass following a bunch of people all at once also helps, so only follow 20 people at a time (I’ve mass followed 60+ blogs and have been fine)

If it’s a new account (or an old one you haven’t touched in a while), just like a new tumblr blog you may not show up in peoples notifs!! You need to be active first, which is why you may see people posting “//notifs” before things are even open for plotting. This is perfectly fine and the only reason you should tweet beforehand!! If you notice you may not be getting any replies the first night this is likely why, which is why you want to post ‘notifs’ and like some stuff first.

Usernames

When it comes to usernames (your @) people typically play off their characters first name and try to make it funny or interesting. Some examples of my own characters past and present would be:

grayson2gayson

jacobgotjams

theSINinSINNER

Alliteration is a good approach!! Pick words that share the same first letter and it’ll run smoothly. Or sometimes people's names can be turned or related to other things like:

VANITYNOTFAIR

BEVERLYhillsbaby

There are also common name ‘starters’ you’ll see used like:

‘WTF’CARINA

‘STFU’DARREN

‘WTD’TYLER

‘GDI’JAKE

‘1800′MARTINO

Really it’s very similar to how names are set up on tumblr.

Display Names

Display names are a little different than usernames, they’re found above the username and is actually what people see first. A lot of the time people will put in memes, TV characters, inside jokes, quotes, song lyrics really anything. Two examples of display names from my own accounts are:

For one character I’ve chosen a play on his name for his display name that being ‘50 Shades of Grayson’, and for the other I chose a meme, which is ‘Do you take teardrops?’.

Really what you put in the display name can be anything.

Biographies

On every twitter account, you get a spot to put a biography this is where you can write a little blurb about your character, put in a quote, a joke, tell us their pronouns, and all that fun stuff. Though often if someone doesn’t know what to write for a bio you will see them just put “Bio for sale” as a little joke.

An example from one of my characters biographies which also includes the display name and username is as follows.

I just included a small amount of information about him, used the ‘location’ spot to include their pronouns, and then the website spot to link back to the main group.

Icons & Banners

Depending on what kind of group you’re in changes what kind of icon you may use. For instance, if you’re playing someone famous and rich you may use a shot from a photoshoot, or a magazine. But if you’re playing someone with a less glamorous job, it’s a bit more fitting to start out with a selfie or a candid picture of your muse. (Later you may break out the more HQ pictures, I find that happens a lot)

For example, if you’re in a less glamorous setting the picture on the right would be more fitting. While if you’re in a glamorous setting you can get away with more HQ pictures. (But tbh no one’s gonna question it either way, you’ll see people post photoshoot pictures for milestones a lot!!)

Banners can be anything, you can toss in a picture of a meme, an aesthetic (some people like to match their icons to their banners), if you’re in a ship it’s common for them to change their banner to a picture of the S/O.

Following the Main

Just follow them on twitter, sometimes people will send a little tweet with it like ‘// @.rpname character name has arrived’ or literally just “//@.rpname hi”. But for most all you have to do is follow the twitter main and they’ll follow you back, if it’s an unopened group they may not post a follow, but already opened groups always will!!

INTROS

Okay so you’ve gotten accepted and set up your account now it’s time for your intro. And intros change person to person, everyone has their own style!! I love graphics so mine occasionally are a little fancier, but not always!!

It’s also common to end off your post with ‘LMS to plot’ which just means if someone likes it you DM them to plot.

IMPORTANT: Do not post tweets or your bio before the main gives the go ahead!! (Aside from the ‘notifs’ tweets)

Option One:

No bio post, you just introduce yourself in a tweet saying something along the lines of

“//Hey my names Reed, I’ll be playing Grayson and i don’t have a bio but he’s a 20 year old solo artist who’s been around here for two years. They’re pretty chill and kind of over dramatic.”

Option Two:

The lists, since a lot of people roleplay on twitter only through their phone you’ll see a lot of bios posted through a note app where they write down some general info, sometimes in lists, sometimes in blurbs. It’s not uncommon for people to post their characters app in it.

Option Three:

As someone into graphics a lot of the time I find myself being extra and just making pretty intros. This is not at all required or expected, but if you want to do it, you can.

PLOTTING

Plotting goes along with intros, it’s extremely common for someone to have a wanted connections list, or just say ‘LMS to plot”. Which means you’ll go to the DMs to plot with them.

But there are also a decent amount of people who prefer chem over plotting, it all depends on what kind of person you are.

TWEETING

If the main as given the go-ahead to start tweeting then it’s time to think of your first tweet. Now as I stated at the very beginning of this, twitter roleplaying is done from a first-person perspective (with the exception of if you para in the DMs but we’ll talk about that later.)

When it comes to OOC tweets make sure to always start them with slashes ‘//’ (one or two whichever you prefer), this is just the way of showing it’s OOC.

A lot of people tweet for their characters, like they would for themselves. This is very common in twitter groups, everyone puts a little part of themselves in their muses. But it’s also good to find ways to separate them so you aren’t playing to OOC. As it’s not uncommon for people playing more of a self-insert to feel attacked over IC drama that is not OOC, just since they’ve invested so much of their personal self in them. I personally often play characters opposite to my personality IRL to avoid this, however, if you roleplay and put a bit of yourself into the character there’s nothing wrong with that!!

Your first tweet will always feel like the hardest, which is why I typically choose to reply to other people first to take the pressure off before posting my own. But this can really be anything you could say what they had for breakfast, post something funny, or just say ‘hi’, it’s honestly up to you there’s no wrong way to start. You can even post a selfie, typically most people do sometime in their first 100 tweets.

REPLY TO OTHER CHARACTERS TWEETS

This is so important, because one of the most common things I see is people who do not reply to other characters, but expect people to reply to them and then they start saying the group isn’t inclusive because they don’t have a lot of threads. But the first few days the dash is always super busy, meaning a lot of tweets will get lost in it, so don’t get sad if some of your tweets don’t get replies, not all of them will. So make sure you’re replying to other people, that’s how you build connections and stay included in the group!! If you ever see anyone posting to RPTs or sending anons to the main saying things are cliquey and you’re in your first 1-5 days, almost 100% of the time it is because they are not replying to enough things themselves!!

If you’re active, posting your own tweets, and replying to tweets you can get above 100 tweets in your first night. (I’ve gotten 500-600 on the first night before)

You may see a lot of ‘LMS for a DM’ posts too, which just means if you like it, they’ll send you a DM.

SUPPORT OTHER CHARACTERS

Do you see that selfie on the TL?? Go like and retweet it!! Even post a reply on it if you’re really feeling it this is a fast way to make friends. Also, retweet any milestone posts you see posted!! It’s always nice to get support on your own character, which means you need to do it for others.

Also you should get out of your comfort zone, roleplay with faceclaims you may not normally roleplay with, or characters you don’t know.

In the end you'll come to understand more how things work as time goes on, and typically very fast.

DIRECT MESSAGES (DMS)

There are two types of general messages in the DMs (well three, but I’m giving the third its own category)

The first is OOC messages, used to plot, or communicate with your partner. Much like OOC posts on the timeline, you want to always start this out with ‘//’.

Now for IC messages. These are written just as you would write for DMing as yourself, the only difference is you’re doing it IC. So here’s a fast example I made between two of my own characters to show you how it works. It really is very casual, and sometimes you’ll DM with people everyday, other times it may die out, it’s all about character chemistry.

PARAS IN DIRECT MESSAGES

So paras still do exist in twitter roleplays!! They just happen in the DMs opposed to on the timeline. Now there are two different ways of acting stuff out in the DMs and one of them is the para way (my personal preference) or some people kind of just talk it, which I’ll also explain.

When it comes to para’s, I’m not going to lie the most common times I see them happen is with ships, writing out dates or smut (no smut if yoURE A MINOR). Which you may lead up to happening through messages or hint at it, and then you just ask your partner

“//hey do you want to para this?” and typically they’ll say yes, sometimes people might be too busy. If this is the case you can just headcanon it OOC!! Which just means you discuss what may have happened.

So if you’re wondering what a para may look like, it could be something like this:

Now for the ‘talk’ version, it’s a little different, and I’m personally not a big fan of it, but if it’s my partner's preference I’ll do it. And basically you don’t write out the actions, you just hint at them in what they’re saying.

So an example of what that looks like is the following:

OTHER IMPORTANT SHIT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT

Milestones: Milestones are when you hit a big number of tweets, for example every hundred tweets. People often celebrate by posting pictures, or videos. Though I find once I pass 1K tweets I don’t do milestones for every hundred, but I at least do them for every 500.

Indirects: An indirect is when someone mentions your characters name on the timeline, this means that when you search the name and hit ‘from people you follow only’ you can see it. These are great for selfie captions, so if you see someone asking for an indirect, give them one!! An example of one would be if someone said ‘grayson is the wORST’, since they used ‘grayson’ I can find it in my indirects. When using this for a selfie caption you typically credit the person who said it with their @ for example if I made it my characters selfie caption I’d format it as ‘@.characterurl: Grayson is the wORST’. Notice the period to separate the @ from the username? This is so they aren’t actually are tagged and get stuck with your notifications for that post.

Quirk: Some people like quirk, some people don’t. Basically, it’s characters who post memes constantly, make a joke out of everything, and are just very extra. I find that a nice middle ground is the best place to be. Don’t let that be the only thing you post, and don’t be too quirky in serious situations. But a little quirk never hurt anyone!!

TWITTER RP LINGO

TL: Timeline

LMS: Like my shit/stuff/status

DN: Display Name

DP: Display Picture

DM: Direct Messages

RT: Retweet

BASICALLY THE DO’S AND DON’TS

Do:

Follow your group's rules!!

Run your plots by the admins!!

Reply to other people’s tweets (as many as you can, don’t be selective!!)

Post your own tweets!!

Retweet all selfies and videos you can

Be a welcoming person!!!

Don’t:

Expect people to reply to your stuff if you are barely replying to anyone else.

Take IC drama as OOC

Be a shitty person, avoid being racist, sexist, homophobic etc, etc.

Be cliquey

Guilt trip people for ships!!

Only look for ships / faceclaim hunt ships

Tag up on characters on the dash (if you see two people arguing don’t throw your character in, it’s overwhelming)

Turn people against other players characters. Even if you don’t like them, it’s not right to isolate someone like that.

Go to RPT blogs with your problems instead of the admins. You can’t solve problems that way, if you talk to the admins, they’ll try to help. RPT blogs can’t, which makes you part of the problem.

IN CONCLUSION

That’s it MNBVCXZ If I missed something you want to know, send me a message!!

#twitter rp guide #rp guide #rph #rpt #rpc #my guide

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bastardnev · 6 years ago

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That Guy Next Door

im finally fuckin posting this dad au fic im losing it, i meant to post this earlier but tumblr kept glitching so!!! here it is!!

anyways as i’ve said a few times already, this fic will be updating on a weekly basis, which means that there’s gonna be one new chapter every friday until all of them have been uploaded. i hope you all enjoy this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it!!

link to ao3

tagging: @tylerblacks @joonhobi @rivela @aliciasfox @sailor-slam-dunk @kidvoodoo @smolsammich @simulated-heat @douglas-leon-michael (lemme kno if you wanna be added to my tag list!!)

Chapters: 1/16 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville, Wade Barrett, Original Child Character(s), Other Character Tags to Be Added Additional Tags: Rating will go up, wink wonk, Parenthood, Single Parents, Post-Divorce, Alternate Universe - Parents, god for a sec i didn't think there was a parent au tag on here and i was gonna be so confused, First Meetings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

"yo" "do me a favor when you get home" "i can see there’s someone new moving in next door" "introduce all of us to him plz n thx"

Single parent Neville was convinced that he would never find love again following his divorce. Little did he realize just how much these four texts from Wade would change his life.

The more that time passed, the more it seemed like Neville was never going to be able to escape this stupid little office.

He was never going to get away from his desk. From his computer. From his phone that never seemed to want to stop ringing for thirty goddamn seconds. From the sounds of his co-workers typing away on their own keyboards. From his boss who almost always seemed to have some new, pointless assignment for him to complete whenever he passed by his cubicle. Such were the woes of working for such a big company…

He told himself that this job was only temporary. Every day he would remind himself that he was only going to be there until he was back on his feet following his divorce. As difficult as this was, it wasn’t going to last forever.

But then a time where he was financially secure enough to start looking for a different job arose, and Neville didn’t jump on the opportunity to leave. He had wanted to stick around for awhile longer to make sure he had completed everything, so that the poor bastard who took this secretary -- no, administrative assistant -- position after him wouldn’t be swamped with missed deadlines and unfinished projects. He didn’t mind staying for a few more days.

Those days turned to weeks. Those weeks turned to months. Those months turned to years.

It had been almost three fucking years since he had the chance to quit, and yet there Neville was, still typing out emails and arranging appointments for higher-ups who couldn’t give any less of a shit about him if they tried.

Sometimes he would stop while in the middle of working, staring intently at his mouse cursor, debating just walking out and leaving this hell behind and never looking back. No one appreciated him. It would make more sense to go elsewhere, wouldn’t it? Where he wouldn’t have to work unnecessarily long hours just to earn a decent pay? Where a boss would actually seem grateful for the work that he puts in?

It was as he would have these thoughts, however, that he would catch sight of the pictures resting next to his computer monitor -- those of two little girls, smiling at the camera and looking so full of life.

His little girls.

The older one was Jennifer, though she was only ever called that when she was in serious trouble (which wasn’t often, now that Neville thought about it) -- otherwise, she was simply known as Jen. She was definitely more like her mother, from having the same light brown hair to the same headstrong personality. Though she was only nine, she was incredibly independent -- almost too independent, however, as she was often too stubborn to ask for help when she was in tough situations.

Then there was Daisy -- ‘Daddy’s favorite,’ as she claimed whenever Neville would do something nice for her (even if he had also done the same thing for Jen). She was six, and even at such a young age she was already showing signs of being just like her father. That is to say, she was becoming a bit of a smartass. True to the little sibling stereotype, she essentially lived to spite Jen, always making sure to say whatever it was she least wanted to hear just so that she could appreciate her over-the-top reactions.

These two lovely children were depending on him. Neville couldn’t quit and risk losing out on money when he knows that they’re counting on him to take care of them.

With that thought in mind, he continued typing.

If he was lucky, then Neville’s drive from the office back to his home was relatively short, the traffic scarce despite it technically being rush hour.

Unfortunately, that day was not his lucky day.

Despite never actually having met the driver of the minivan that he was stuck behind, Neville felt like he was deeply familiar with their personal life, considering the amount of bullshit on the back of it. There was a stick figure family decal on the back window -- a father, a mother, two little boys, and one little girl. Down on the bumper there were multiple stickers proudly announcing to the world that there were two honors students in the family. What about the third kid? Neville found himself thinking, fingers tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. Are they not good enough for a sticker?

His phone vibrated in the cup holder next to him, and he glanced down at it for a moment before focusing back on the road, pulling up a little once the traffic started to move. He heard the phone vibrate a second time. A third time. By the time the fourth vibration occurred, Neville looked back down at the device and took it in his hands, wondering just what in the hell was so urgent that it required sending that many messages.

Then again, considering that the only person who ever texted him nowadays was Wade, there was no way it was actually anything of substance.

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: yo

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: do me a favor when you get home

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: i can see there’s someone new moving in next door

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: introduce all of us to him plz n thx

Typical. Wade was once again trying to get Neville to do something for him. It seemed like all that Wade had done since moving into the downstairs apartment in Neville’s house was try to butter him up for something. That man truly has not changed since college…

Though Neville ribbed Wade for his tactics, even going as far as to jokingly refer to him as a freeloader in his phone, the truth was that he didn't have any negative feelings towards him at all. In fact, he was actually incredibly grateful for him. Wade had been employed when he moved into Neville’s home after his divorce, but he’d been laid off not too long after, and he’d had no success finding a job ever since. It seemed like every time things were looking up for him and he might have found something other than the occasional odd job, the position was always given to someone else, and as such he was never able to pay his share of that month’s rent.

He was always willing to babysit whenever Neville needed him to, however -- which was fairly often, seeing as his job sometimes required that he stay late at the office. Had it not been for him, Neville would have had to worry about paying a sitter on top of all of the bills and everything else. Difficult as things may be, he was glad to have a close friend like Wade.

Someone actually bought that house, though? Neville thought. It’s been on the market for ages. He could only vaguely remember the small family that used to live there before they abruptly moved because of the father’s job. Though the last thing that Neville wanted to do was give Wade what he wanted, he had to admit that he was just as curious as he was about this new neighbor…

Me: And why should I do that? Can’t you go over there yourself?

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: your texting while you’re supposed to be driving??

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: dangerous

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: tsk tsk

Me: *you’re

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: SHUT UP

Me: Also I’m in traffic, asshole. Now tell me why you can’t do it yourself?

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: because i just woke up from a nap and have a killer headache and am in no mood to actually socialize

Me: What makes you think I’M in the mood to socialize? I just had a long day at work.

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: because you’re the cuter one between the two of us and it would be better if he saw your pretty face instead of mine

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: you could win over anyone with those eyes of yours

It was at that moment that Neville placed his phone back down in the cup holder -- partially because the traffic was beginning to move and he needed to start driving again, though mainly because he’d read enough. Wade always tried to compliment him whenever he was too lazy to do something for himself, and Neville was ashamed to admit that this strategy worked more often than not.

This time was going to be different, however. After a long day of typing away at his desk and going straight into bumper-to-bumper traffic, it was going to take a lot more than some sweet talking to get him to introduce himself to a total stranger.

Neville finally pulled into his driveway about fifteen minutes later, turning the car off and leaning back against the seat with a sigh. Somewhere along the way it had started raining, the droplets of rain tapping rhythmically against the windshield. He loved the rain -- that is, when he didn’t actually have to go walking through it. It was a short walk from the car to the front door. Even so, he was not looking forward to getting wet…

As he gathered his bearings, he took a quick look out of the passenger side window, and he noticed that there was a light on inside of the house next door, and there was an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. So Wade was telling the truth when he said that there was a new neighbor. Wonder what their story is.

The neighborhood that Neville lived in wasn’t bad by any means, but he didn’t think that it was an area that anybody would want to willingly move into. Most of the residents tended to keep to themselves, the extent of their interactions with one another being a quick ‘hello’ and nothing more. Wouldn’t someone looking for a place to start their new life look for someplace more interesting? Whoever this new person was must have had no other options.

...Then again, it wasn’t like Neville really cared about what this new person thought. He had more important things to worry about then whatever was going on in their mind.

Neville resigned himself to his damp fate and exited the car, making sure to lock it before trekking through the rain and up the front stops until he reached the door. Despite it being closed, he could hear what sounded like a commotion inside -- just what he needed after the day he’d had. What are they fighting over now ? He clicked his tongue and opened the door, bracing himself for whatever the latest controversy was.

“Jen, you said yourself that you didn’t care if she ate your leftovers or not.” The first voice that Neville heard was that of Wade, who was clearly trying to mediate an argument between the two girls, standing in front of Jen while Daisy hid behind his back.

“I said I didn’t want them! I never said she could have them!” Jen had her arms crossed.

“I never ate them, though!” Daisy peeked out from behind Wade, clutching his shirt, dark brown curls falling over her face. “I swear! Why would I want something that you touched?”

“Uh… Hello?” Neville decided to speak up, prompting the three of them to look over in his direction.

“Daddy!!” Daisy let go of Wade and went charging towards him, now opting to hide behind him instead (and prompting a “What, am I not a good enough shield for you?” from Wade). “Jen’s bullying me again!”

“I am not!” Jen insisted. “She’s the one that did something wrong! She ate my food!”

Of all the ridiculous arguments that these two could have had, they had to have one over chicken tenders? Were fights over toys going out of style? “Okay, listen,” Neville started. “Jen, you did say that you didn’t mind if someone else ate them. And Daisy, you shouldn’t insinuate that anything your sister touches is dirty.”

Daisy blinked at him. Neville couldn’t imagine why she looked so confused, seeing as he made a perfectly good point.

“Nev,” Wade said. “She’s six. I don’t think she knows what ‘insinuate’ means.”

“Right… Okay, how about this -- don’t say that anything she touches is dirty. There, is that better?”

Daisy nodded this time. Neville knew her too well, though. It may appear as if she understood, but in reality she was plotting her next move. Chances are she had plenty more insults ready to unleash the moment that Neville’s back was turned.

Jen made a disgusted sound and stormed into the hallway, bounding up the stairs towards her room. Now that her enemy had disappeared, Daisy deemed it safe enough to emerge from hiding, heading towards the kitchen. Neville pushed his glasses up his nose as he watched her go. “How did that argument even start, anyway?” He asked.

“Hell if I know.” Wade shrugged. “I was minding my own business when Daisy came running in here claiming that Jen was going to kill her. Again.”

“Did she even eat the leftovers?”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Then who…” He squinted at Wade. “ You ate them, didn’t you?”

“...Maybe…”

“Of course you did.” Neville sat down on the couch, rubbing at his temples.

“What, did you expect me to speak up? Angry Jen isn’t fun to deal with. The last thing I wanted was to be on the receiving end of her wrath. She clearly got that gene from you.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

Wade took a seat next to him. “Enough about that, though. What happened with the new guy next door?”

“I didn’t talk to him.”

“What?” He looked disappointed. “Not even after I asked you so nicely?”

“Trying to get me to do something for you by buttering me up isn’t always going to work, Wade. I told you that I had a long day today and I wasn’t up for introductions. I’ll get around to it when I’m not exhausted.”

Wade huffed, propping his feet up on the coffee table (and having them shoved off by Neville a few seconds later). “All I’m trying to do is help you get back out there…”

Neville looked at him, eyes narrow. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, did I say that out loud? Oops.” Wade was acting as if that were an accident, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he’d clearly meant for Neville to hear him.

“What do you mean that you’re trying to help me ‘get back out there’?”

“Well, y’know…” Wade began to play with his nails, avoiding Neville’s gaze. “I thought you and the cute new guy next door might want to chat for awhile, maybe hang out sometime, that’s all.”

“You-- Wait, you actually want me to date this guy? This guy who I’ve never even met? Are you kidding me?” Neville had learned so much about Wade in the years that they’d known each other, but never once had he shown any interest in trying to play matchmaker. “Why do you want this so badly?”

“I just thought it would be nice! I know you’ve been lonely lately--”

“And just how would you know that?”

“Nev, I’ve been your friend since college. I’ve been living with you ever since you and Marina split. The last few years have been rough for you romance-wise, and it’s obvious that it’s taken a toll on you.”

Neville swallowed at the mention of his wife’s name. “How do you know ?” He repeated, growing a little impatient.

“I feel like I hardly ever see you smile anymore,” Wade continued. “It’s not that you never smile, it’s just… genuinely happy smiles are pretty rare for you these days. I thought that maybe finding you a nice guy to hang out with would help lift your spirits a bit -- and who knows, something great could come out of this. You should give him a chance.”

Neville knew that he was probably being rude, but he still rolled his eyes, shaking his head and once again pushing his glasses up his nose. He knew that Wade didn’t mean any harm. He was one of the few truly good people that Neville knew, and he would never do anything to hurt him.

This, on the other hand, while it didn’t hurt him by any means, was on a whole different level. “Wade, listen… I understand that you’re just trying to help,” Neville started. “I appreciate that you’re looking out for me. But I know I’ve told you before that I’m not interested in finding a partner at the moment. I have a family to support, and I don’t have time to be fooling around with romance right now.”

“Okay…” Wade’s shoulders drooped. “Sorry if it seemed like I was forcing you into something that you didn’t want.”

“No need to apologize.” Neville stood up from the couch, stretching. “I gotta go get changed. These clothes are so damn uncomfortable.”

“It’s times like these where I’m almost glad I don’t work,” Wade commented, watching Neville as he made to leave the room. “Otherwise I’d have to wear stuff like that .”

“I envy you, I won’t lie.”

Neville arrived at the top of the steps and started to make his way down the hallway. He briefly stopped in front of the door to the girls’ room, knowing that Jen was most likely still stewing inside. He knew that she would get over it eventually, but it still bothered him knowing that she was angry with the wrong person. Maybe once she calms down we can tell her… Though Wade will probably be scared shitless while we do it.

He continued down the hall and made it to his own room, taking off his jacket and tossing it onto the bed. He was about to start undoing the buttons on his shirt when he noticed that the window was open, and he let out a little annoyed noise. Great, now the floor is wet…

It was when he went over to close it that he once again caught sight of the house next door -- in particular, his eye was drawn to the window. He could see that there was someone moving around inside, but he was only able to see his back. There he is, the man of my dreams… or so I’ve been told.

Neville wasn’t in the mood to be accused of being a creeper, so he quickly shut the window and closed the blinds, resuming his undressing. Whoever the hell this new guy was, he wasn’t interested in watching what he assumed were his dinner preparations (nor was he willing to strip right where he could see it).

For all the complaints that Neville had about his job, there was one thing about it that he did like -- the fact that he was able to work from home on Fridays.

He was set up at the kitchen table, lazily scrolling through the emails that were gradually piling up in his inbox. Most of them didn’t even concern him -- in the beginning they were about figuring out what time would work best for everyone for the next meeting, now most of them were people debating which day of the week would be better between Monday and Tuesday. I’m stuck in that office anyway regardless of the day, so what does it even matter? Neville thought to himself, taking a sip from his coffee mug as he went to work deleting some of the messages.

“What a sight to behold.” Neville looked up from the screen and found that Wade had entered the room. “You’re still sitting here working and drinking from that ‘World’s Okayest Dad’ mug. Don’t you think you should give yourself a break?”

“I already took my break earlier,” Neville replied just as he heard another chime ring out from his laptop -- the meeting would officially be on Monday, despite numerous complaints. Incoming shitstorm.

“Take another one. What’s stopping you? It’s not like anyone can tell that you’re not working.”

“They’ll tell when I’m not responding to any of their emails.”

“So if you don’t respond immediately after they send it to you then they’ll know that you’re slacking off? Sounds rough. Glad I’m not working there.”

“You’re not working, period .”

“Exactly, and who would want to with those regulations?” Wade went to the fridge and dug around inside until he came back with a bottle of water, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip. “Hey, where are the girls? I haven’t seen them all afternoon.”

“Outside in the yard.” Neville nodded his head in the direction of the back door. “I’m surprised they’ve been playing for so long without getting into a fight.” Right as Neville finished saying that, he heard a thud and the unmistakable sound of Daisy yelling “Ow!” “Ah, I see I spoke too soon.”

A few moments later, both girls stumbled into the kitchen through the back door. “Daddy, Daisy threw the ball over the fence again,” Jen complained, elbowing her sister in the side.

“Ow-- It wasn’t my fault! She was the one who threw it.”

“You said you were ready for me to throw it!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did! Daddy, didn’t you hear her say she was ready? She’s lying again--”

“Alright, alright, that’s enough,” Neville interrupted her before she could say anything more, and he pushed back his chair. “You two head back outside and wait in the yard. I’ll go get the ball for you.”

Jen and Daisy looked at each other before they both walked back outside, the two of them getting into a brief scuffle in the doorway since they couldn’t decide which of the two of them got to go through first (Jen ultimately won by reminding Daisy of who the older sibling was). Neville pinched the bridge of his nose once they were gone, letting out a sigh. “What am I going to do with them…”

“Well, you can start by getting their ball,” Wade said.

Neville made a little frustrated noise and stood up, though it was as he was about to leave that he noticed the cocky smirk on Wade’s face. “What’s up with you?”

“Nev, how did you get the ball the last time they threw it over the fence?” he asked, leaning back against the counter.

“Uh… I went into the yard and got it?”

“You realize you can’t do that anymore, right? Since there’s now someone living there. That’s trespassing.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is that you’re going to have to get the new neighbor’s permission to go back there and get it. You two are finally going to meet.”

“Oh God, are you still on this?” Neville huffed. “I told you that I’m not interested in being in a relationship right now. Let it go .”

“I never said you had to date him. Just that you’re gonna be meeting for the first time.”

“Maybe so, but I know you’re thinking it.” He waggled his finger at him. “And let me tell you this: I’m going to go next door, ask for the ball back, and then come right back here. No bullshit, no stopping inside for coffee or whatever, no nothing . You got that?”

“Whatever you say, mate.” Wade still didn’t look entirely convinced, but he didn’t press the issue any further and left the kitchen, leaving Neville all by himself.

What a pain in the ass… Neville shook his head as he watched Wade retreat downstairs. He waited until he was gone before exiting into the hallway and walking towards the front door.

The moment that the early-August heat hit his face, Neville immediately regretting going outside. God, how have those kids been playing out here for all this time? He despised the thought of meeting his new neighbor while drenched in sweat, so he decided to stop wasting time and briskly started the trek over to the house next door.

“It won’t take him much longer, calm down!” Neville could hear the faint sound of Jen reprimanding her sister from his own yard.

“We’ve been waiting foreverrrrr…” Naturally, the next voice he heard was that of Daisy.

Five minutes. It’s been five minutes since they asked. At most.

Neville looked up at the house that was now in front of him, and he marched up to the door with authority, determined not to let Wade’s nonsense get in the way of what he came here to do. He didn’t come here to flirt or do anything of that nature -- he was not going to let the wannabe matchmaker that lived in his basement cloud his judgement.

He rang the doorbell and took a step back, crossing his arms and waiting for some sort of response. He could still hear the sounds of Daisy and Jen bickering from the yard. He debated taking out his phone and asking Wade to keep an eye on them, but it was right as he reached for his pocket that the door opened.

“Hi, I’m—” Neville stopped himself once he got a good look at the man now standing in the doorway, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“Um… How can I help you?” The man asked, brown eyes narrowed in confusion, like he couldn’t figure out why this stranger was gaping at him on his doorstep. It was those same eyes that Neville found himself suddenly lost in, momentarily forgetting just why the hell he was there in the first place. That’s a good question -- how can you help me?

Neville cleared his throat, shaking his head and snapping himself out of his trance. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you, but my kids accidentally threw their ball over your fence. I was wondering if we could get it back.”

“Oh, that’s what that was?” He smiled. “I heard yelling coming from next door and was wondering what had happened.”

“Ah, well, you know how little girls can be sometimes…”

“Trust me, I do. I work with them. I can toss the ball back over for ‘em.”

“Thank you.” Neville returned his smile. “Again, sorry to trouble you. I know you’re still busy unpacking.” Neville could see the moving boxes that were sitting in the hallway. “Don’t mean to interrupt.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not a problem at all. Hey, what’s your name, by the way? I’m Mustafa.”

“Mustafa…” Neville repeated. It was a nice name. “I’m Adrian.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Adrian.” There was that infectious smile again. Neville found himself quite liking how his name sounded coming from his mouth -- and he normally hated his first name. “You’re the first person around here that I’ve actually spoken to, you know that?”

“That doesn’t shock me.” He frowned. “The people around here aren’t exactly the nicest. They don’t really do things like greeting new neighbors.”

“That’s a shame… But at least I have one nice neighbor in you . That makes up for it.” Mustafa shot him a wink. “I should probably go get the ball now -- I’ll catch you later, okay?”

“Okay! I’ll, uh… see you around.”

With that, Mustafa shut the door, and Neville let out a breath that he didn’t even realize that he was holding. Finally, it was over . He had done what needed to be done, and now he could go back home and rub it in Wade’s face.

I didn’t linger at all. Neville thought with a sense of triumph as he went down to the sidewalk. Wade was so sure that I was going to fall head over heels for him within thirty seconds of knowing him. Not even close.

…Still, Neville thought it was a bit strange how he had acted when Mustafa first opened the door. Everything about their conversation was normal with the exception of the beginning. Neville had been completely entranced by him, especially those eyes … What was that all about?

Neville’s moment of contemplation didn’t last very long, as he was interrupted by the gleeful sounds of his daughters, whose ball had just been returned to them. He was overthinking things, as usual. He only felt this way because Wade planted the seeds in his mind.

This was nothing to dwell on.

#mustafa ali #neville #adrian neville #wwe fanfiction #mustafa x neville #jess.txt #i sincerely apologize if you're on mobile rn and can't see the read more because this is a Long Chapter #dad au

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dangoghz · 7 years ago

Text

legitimate advice for new phandom blogs

hey !! so i know sometimes posts like ‘RULES FOR THE PHANDOM XD’ are made and they’re all like “numba one. dan is a squishy bean respect this uwu” but this isn’t gonna be like that lol. im just going to list a few actual things that might help people new to the phandom learn about and become integrated into the community! of course these aren’t ‘rules’ and u dont have to listen to any of it ofc,,, im not here to control ur blog, just here to say what people normally do. feel free to rb whether u are a new blog or not, ill appreciate it either way!

(NOTE: PLS TELL ME IF ANY OF THE LINKS DONT WORK AND ILL FIX THEM PERIODICALLY!)

italicized text is defined in the glossary at the bottom!

1. be interactive!

here, unique to our corner of timmy darn communism, we have a lot of like virtual traditions that everyone knows. these help you to make friends and also grow ur blog with some new mutuals. here are some examples.

networks: networks, or nets, are a sort of selective gc, usually with a theme or concept that it’s based around, in which all who wish to be part of fill out an application form that determines whether they get in. this is kinda the one with the most work, as u also have to make a group blog and info post, but it’s definitely worth it. i have made my closest friends in nets (such as @phleurnet which i birthed), and a lot of people on here would say the same. if you want to know more or apply, my friend diana runs an update blog @phandomnets! (examples, these are all open btw: x x x)

meetups: meetups are not in real life, don’t worry. a meetup is when someone organizes a specific time at which we all post thing around a certain theme! for instance, on halloween on tuesday, my friend milo hosted a halloween meetup. usually people post selfies but if u are uncomfortable with that, u can post art, music, or anything else related to the theme. a blog called @phandommeetupwatch keeps track of these! (examples, all happening soon/just happened: x x x)

follow forevers: a follow forever is a big celebration post when u reach a follower count milestone, no matter 50 or 5k. u tag all of the blogs you love, and they reblog it to appreciate u! it’s really positive and shows people how their work has paid off. usually people are tagged in alphabetical order, and sometimes people bold their favorites but the stylization is up to u. (recent examples: x x x)

milestone activities: sometimes people do things for their followers when they reach a follower count that involves their followers requesting something! there are many many forms of this type of thing. a common one is blog rates, in which there is a set template and the blogger rates each blog that sends in an ask using the template (info post ex: x; rate ex: x). there are also url edits (x), name/url moodboards (x), and more. u can certainly come up w an idea of ur own, being creative is great!

talk to people: that’s right dude!!! ye!!! u can message a blog u think is cool, or send an ask if u think something they made or are talking about is interesting, or add something sweet in the tags (more on etiquette later) when u rb their post. additionally, sometimes people stir up discourse, and u should participate in it if u want (past discourse examples: x x). u can also send asks when people reblog ask games, which are a list of questions with a theme (new one of mine ex: x).

2. play around with your blog!

customizing your blog can start giving you what we call a branding, making you distinguished from other bloggers. this can include everything from as simple as using an icon to coding your own about page.

themes: a blog can be way more appealing if it is aesthetically pleasing. admittedly, i often follow people just because of the smoothness of their mobile theme. a mobile theme is rather easy to construct as u can do it on ur own with a phone. it is how ur blog looks on a phone. although u don’t have to do this, i recommend sticking to two to four colors on ur theme and avoiding stuffing it with a lot of bright things because it can distract from content. additionally, bloggers often make their descriptions short and succinct. (my fav mobiles: x x x.) on a pc, your blog theme can be customized completely on html, meaning there is a lot of freedom. u don’t have to learn to code for this, bc u can find free themes anywhere, just search ‘free tumblr themes’ on google. once again, be creative, but u shouldn’t overload. (my fav pcs: x x x.)

about pages: in order to avoid chunky descriptions but still let people know the key deets about themselves, bloggers create about pages. sometimes these bout pages are uncoded but u can also use html code if u want to. some common things in an about page are interests, maybe personality types/horoscopes/hogwarts houses, original content, and links to other social media. (examples: x x x)

urls: urls are a key part of your blog’s brand. ‘rebranding’ is what people say if they change their url! if u are tired or bored with your url, changing it is an opportunity to change your theme and other parts of ur blog as well. (url change ex: x).

saved urls: saved urls are basically when bloggers hoard sideblogs in order to reserve the urls used for them. if you ever encounter a blank blog that has ‘saved’ as its title, that’s probably it. sometimes people like to give away their urls, either as a constant thing (ex: x) or by doing a url giveaway (x). either way, it’s a good opportunity to change it up!

tags: in order to keep their blog cleancut and organized, a lot of bloggers have special tags for certain people, certain topics, and/or certain types of media. many people in the phandom particularly have tags for dan and phil that match (strawberries and cream, lune and sole, etc). if they have many of these tags, there can be a page for their tags on their blog. this page can be coded with special html or just a regular tumblr page, it doesn’t really matter. but it’s very useful for those who visit your blog, and makes it easy for u to navigate older posts as well! (examples: x x x)

3. learn to make og content!

producing original content helps you establish what your strengths are and why people should follow you. it also allows u to contribute to the fanbase, and gives u a chance of being noticed by dnp! and the validation is lovely. there are many options if u want to make something.

gifs: gifs are an ART here in the phandom, and its mechanisms still perplex me to this day bc ive never tried it. u probably already know what a gif is, but if not, its essentially a short animation made in photoshop that repeats. gifmakers are often distinguished by a unique coloring (example gifmakers: x x x), such as my friend emily’s smooth dark blue tint (x). it can be a long process to learn how to gif but it is very rewarding in the end, from what i’ve heard. (tutorials: x x)

art: there is a very wide range of phanartists, all with such talents, either digital or traditional, that you can draw inspirations from for your own work. you can make cartoons, comics, realism, abstract, nsfw even, or any mix (or none) of the former. artists on tumblr definitely deserve more attention than they get here on tumblr, so be sure to show appreciation towards them! (my fav artists: x x x)

edits: edits are the Graphic Designs of our community and are usually very aesthetically pleasing. they can be centered around a certain event, like a video or something dnp made, or just for fun. the more practice you get making them, the more dexterous u’ll become. they can be a great tool if u like the design aspect of art but don’t want to actually draw. (edit makers: x x)

icons: icons are just the little profile picture that u can insert for ur blog. it’s really easy and fun to make them, kind of like a lazy version of edits. you can make them using photoshop or an app like picsart or medibang, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. more on how to use icons in section 4. (examples: x x x) (my lil tutorial: x)

moodboards: moodboards are nine pictures arranged 3 by 3 that have a certain color scheme. it’s kind of like a collage except the photo feature here separates the pictures for u. there are a lot of innovative moodboard makers that stun me w how pretty it looks or how they arrange the pics. moodboards are also an easy and fun option! (moodboard tags: x x x)

textposts: this is by far the easiest and more common form of content u will find. it’s just writing about dnp in a textpost! if a textpost isn’t very serious, people also call it a meme or shitpost. shitposting is defs on the rise here so its a good business to get into. it’s also a great outlet for ur emotions or personal connections to what dnp do! (example talk tags: x x x)

fics: by far the most famous media to come out of here, phanfiction is a popular form of phan indulgence. u have probably heard of the most scarring ones (list: x), but there is actually a really vast range of it, not just creepy smut! some other genres are fluff, angst, and slow burns. u will discover that, despite the sterotype, not all fanfiction is bad. you can find lovely fics on @phanfictioncatalogue by genre, au, or topic. and, if u need help writing something, many writers would love to help. (a few well-known fics: x x x x x)

4. tumblr etiquette!

i know tumblr might seem like a simple social media (or perhaps not after u’ve read all the above?) but there’s a lot of things that u just....u just don’t do. it’s sort of like virtual manners, and if u don’t follow them, then it’s unlikely that people will like ur blog. once again, this is by no means me forcing u to run ur blog a certain way. it just happens that the types of ppl who break these rules are who we mock in gcs :////////. so yea, here’s some advice.

credits: if u decide to use someone’s art, edit, gif, or icon on the theme of ur blog, check what they require of u before u use it. most content creators strongly ask for credit in the description of ur blog, either by link or like ‘icon/header/art by ____’. it is just a common courtesy to the person who spent time on that, and if u think credit will ruin the aesthetic of ur blog, a) u probably don’t have an aesthetic in the first place and b) learn to appreciate art, binch.

anonymity: anon asks can be very powerful either negatively or positively depending on how u yield them, so make sure that u are careful with what u send. compliments are always welcome and criticism as well, but blatant rudeness or hate will do nothing. u will only make someone feel bad about themselves and it will not accomplish anything. also, u face the threat of all their friends turning u into a meme.

sensitivity: a lot of people here are way too easily offended by harmless jokes, a common example in the phandom being when we insult dnp affectionately and people take it way too much to heart. please don’t start drama over something w no real meaning. however, there are times when it is indeed necessary. if u want to criticise a blogger, be respectful of them simultaneously. by all means, if u spot someone being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, or the like, feel free to call them out on it. but beforehand, make sure that u have done ur research and are educated on the topic, or u could turn out to be blatantly wrong.

adding to posts: everyone makes this mistake when they start out here and that’s totally okay, but adding to every post u reblog is incredibly bothersome. a rule of thumb would be don’t add anything unless what u say will actually improve the post significantly. if ur additions are along the lines of ‘LOL’ or ‘i relate!!!!’ or ‘philly is a smol bean XD’, learn to use the tags for heaven’s sake. they’re there for not only organization but also for commenting. some exceptions, though, would be if u are mentioned in the post or the op is your close friend.

respecting privacy: this should already be obvious to u, but respect dan and phil’s boundaries. do not tag them or their main tags (#daniel howell, #danisnotonfire, #amazingphil), in any phanfics, phanart (like specifically with them as a romantic ship), or phan edits. do not talk to their family members, expose their personal info like address or phone number, and do consider that they are real people just like u. we may make things based around phan, but it is kept in a community for us and not for dan and phil’s eyes. this is very important.

5. have fun!

sorry if this is all overwhelming, but i tried to make it as simplified as possible. and also sorry for the sass, i’m kinda tired of all the ding dongs on here and want to prevent further ding dongs from being created. thanks so much for readin and be sure to send me an ask anytime if u have questions! welcome to hell!

glossary

timmy darn communism: me being my usual weird self and replacing ‘tumblr dot com’ with random words that start with the same letters

mutuals: someone who you follow and who follows you; usually who u interact with most

rb: shortening for ‘reblog’

discourse: when theres is intense discussion of a certain topic, sometimes phan-related sometimes not, sometimes serious and sometimes silly

branding: the word ‘branding’ kinda started as a joke, but it’s generally what we use to call what someone’s blog reminds them of, whether it be a certain color or a discussion topic; my branding, if u asked a mutual, would probably be impressionism, tea, and baguettes (dont ask ab that one)

html: a simple type of coding used for designing websites! u can learn basic html here or here, it’s way easier and funner than it looks

dnp: dan and phil; we also say ‘deppy’, ‘dip and pip’, ‘the boys’, ‘the rats’, and more

coloring: basically the stylization of a gif, shown through filters, textures, contrast, brightness, etc.

talk tag: a tag in which all of the textposts that a person makes are sorted into

phanfiction terms

smut: porn fic :/

fluff: just what it sounds like, a type of fic that usually has a lot of soft stuff like cuddling, flirting, and looooove

angst: a fic with a lot of drama, usually sad or very emotional

slow burn: a fic where a pairing, in this case phan, slowly falls in love

au: stands for ‘alternate universe’, a fic in which dan and phil are written not as youtubers but in a completely different scenario (ie. bad boy and new guy in high school, university students, space exhibition, anything u can dream up really)

anon: short for ‘anonymous’

op: short for ‘original poster’, aka who made the post

#this took me SO LONG pls appreciate it #gogh away ester #dan and phil #phan #phandom #phan advice #phandom advice #phil lester #dan howell #luncheon

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