#one day binghe wakes up and his husband is not in their bed. and at first he thinks it's a bit strange

[professionalanime]

going a bit insane does anyone have any fic recs of shen jiu coming >back< in sqq's body post svsss//bingqiu getting together?? I think that could be crunchy (preferably where shen yuan comes back/this is temporary)

[dick-the3rd]

(I forgot about the damn tag limit and now I'm too lazy to write all of that here. fuck. another day I'll edit this into something more coherent)

[there's a door in front of him. He stands there, trying to sense shizun. He wonders if he should maybe knock. Or is the door open? Could he just enter? Just before his knuckles hit the wood the door opens and a smaller man runs into him.

It's his husband. It's the most beautiful man he ever saw.

Later, they'll discover it took a giganimous amount of power for SY emotions to be broadcast across universes. And the only reason lbh was able to find him it's because sy giving up on lbh was the most painful and heartwretching thing he ever did.

Trusting and hoping came easily to him, but giving up? it felt like it would kill him. ]

You know when in svsss fics, Shen Yuan wakes up from a coma after returning back to the modern world? What if he was in a coma long enough for his hair to grow pretty long, like past his ears. What if he lets it grow longer. What if he grows out his hair so that he can have something to remind himself it was real. What if time passes, and his hair is to his shoulders, his family suggests he cut it, but he refuses. He's growing it out so it won't be strange for Binghe when he comes to get him. Because he will. He always does. Time goes on, his hair is down to the end of his rib cage. Binghe is still not there. His hair has grown past his hips now, so long he needs to move it when he sits down. He's starting to lose hope, frowning at the few grey hairs he starts growing as he approached his 30s. His family is worried for him, thinking he's falling into depression. They ask him to see a therapist, but the therapist can't do anything to "fix" him either. So he waits. And waits. He waits for a sign it wasn't all a dream, that his imagination didn't just come up with someone as wonderful as his husband. He reads articles on how people dreamt of having whole other lives while in a coma, only to wake up and grieve the people that never were. He braided his hair, surely, that wasn't it. He doesn't think he believes himself anymore. He decides, one day, he's going to cut his hair. He schedules an appointment, gets ready to head out. He opens his door and—

—and he runs into someone's chest.

[incognito-lionbeast]

Time travel fix-it fic, but past!SQQ & present!SQQ swap places in the timeline (inevitably causing the timeline to split, dw about it).

Present day, post-marriage Shen Qingqiu "wakes up" in his past SQQ-self's body right at the moment of he & Luo Binghe's reunion in Jin Lan. Naturally, he assumes that this must be another dream-world reenactment. After all, it wouldn't be the first time. Though this memory isn't exactly a fond one. So, he ignores the Huan Hua disciples. Even if this Binghe can't really see him, even if it's a dream, suppose... Shen Qingqiu does what he wishes he'd done then. He steps forward to reach out and hold his heartbroken disciple. Apologise.

Binghe is solid.

Which means that it's the real Luo Binghe. Or at least that's how it worked before. This doesn't keep him from his task, but he does wonder if this is some sort of... role-play? Historical revisionism? But he's going to get a good grade in role-playing, because surely this is still a dream. Time travel doesn't exist and it frankly hasn't occurred to him as an option yet.

It will. Eventually. But not until he's successfully coaxed Luo Binghe into ditching the post-sower-roundup meeting to run away with him back to Qing Jing. He's not interested in reliving that part of this memory, thanks. And without the guest of honour, accusations have to wait (OPM is furious).

It occurs to Shen Qingqiu because he doesn't wake up; he dreams within his "dream" and, happy as he seems to be, Luo Binghe never stops role-playing. Shen Qingqiu has been doing everything in his power to dote on his disciple, but Luo Binghe doesn't beg to sleep in the same bed. Or cry at him. Or cave in the face of his insatiable libido, soliciting sex from him when presented with any reasonably flat surface.

But if he's in the past, then what?? Would it be taking advantage of his disciple to reciprocate his feelings now??? Did that count as cheating???? But what if he can't return to the present? Was he supposed to keep a light on for some future version of his husband that might not exist anymore?! All the while, Shen Qingqiu discovers rather quickly how difficult it is to sleep on his own all the time...

Though ultimately present!SQQ's stay in the past is rather short-lived. Long enough to apologise, take Binghe home, angst over the possibility of erasing his own future, and accidentally call his disciple "husband" once or twice. A few months, maybe more. He leaves Luo Binghe with something to think about-- and rejoins his husband impoverished from the distinct lack of fooling around and canoodling the past had to offer him.

--

While his future self is in the past, past!SQQ... well, he wakes up laying next to Luo Binghe. The man he'd been so sure hated him with his entire being and wanted him dead. In fact, he rather doesn't remember falling asleep. Or being in a room that looks suspiciously like his own on Qing Jing. As he debates how to extract himself from this... situation... Luo Binghe wakes up, surprised to see that his Shizun managed to beat him to it.

--and he's positively radiant, soft and glowing with affection. Before Shen Qingqiu can move or make a sound, Luo Binghe pounces, pins him to the bed--this is how he dies, goodbye!--pecking kisses down his face like it's the most normal thing in the world. Shen Qingqiu is so thrown off by this that he nearly misses when Luo Binghe, fully enabled by a good night's sleep and [ahem] certain nightly activities, calls him his wife.

But a near miss is still a hit. He'd like to look down at his body to make sure he hasn't somehow transmigrated a second time into a lovely young maiden, but someone is heavy. And laying on him. And hard. How could he be hard this early in the day?! Of course Luo Binghe is a stallion protagonist with a dick capable of cleaving the heavens, but a creeping pain in his backside told Shen Qingqiu that they-- they... they'd already done that. At least once.

Yet, how thin Shen Qingqiu's face must be that a murmured "Shizun?" brings him back to reality instantly. The reality that he isn't some fair damsel who's given her up her virtue; he's no Liu Mingyan. He's not even Ning Yingying. He's still himself.

And that's a lot to take in at once.

Whatever happened, however he got here (though he's determined to find out)... he is Luo Binghe's favoured wife. Seemingly. What is he supposed to do?! Play along? With someone who may or may not just be toying with him? But what else can he do? Gazing into the face of his "husband" all Shen Qingqiu can readily make out is love and concern, and though fear twists a knife in his stomach--

The only thing he can know for sure is how much he doesn't know, he decides. It would be rash to make any sudden judgments.... and he can't stand--he really can't!--how Luo Binghe deflates and wheedles and cries when he tries to push him off or hide.

It's through careful inquiry over the course of his stay that the Shen Qingqiu of the past realises where he is. Or, perhaps better-put, when he is. Though like his contemporary, he is returned to his own time within a matter of months--a time now splintered off from the version of the future he'd been sent to. Interfering with the past tends to do that.

And now he has to deal with the knowledge that Luo Binghe was-- is? Always will be. Totally in love with him. Not to mention everything else that has yet to transpire.

[allpiesforourown]

reincarnation au: once his memories are back, lbh would full stop, without hesitation, attempt to castrate or otherwise maim himself for daring to be so rude and hurt shizun’s feelings. only after several minutes of begging and maybe a couple tears on both ends is he convinced it’s not necessary.

So true especially because shizun would be sooo clingy

Shen yuans ghost protecting binghe by sending muggers flying, and hovering over his shoulder while he does assignments and correcting his work. Binghe knows this shen qingqiu person is very helpful and cares about him so one day he asks "there's this girl at my college..." and watches shen yuan's eyes immediately turn wet and his lips start wobbling before he covers his face with a fan and vanishes. Binghe learns everytime he mentions something similar to him dating, his ghost will disappear for a day

Binghe waking up one morning to the feeling of something cold touching his body and pretending to be asleep as shizun burrows into his arms and lets out one (1) quiet sob and squeezes binghe before leaving the bed. Binghe is bewildered.

Then he gets his memories back and he has to kill himself NOW shizun I made you CRY this lowly disciple does not deserve to live!!!!!!

(Of course after everything settles, binghe is ecstatic. Shizun loves him so much he couldn't stay away from him, he cried when he thought his husband wanted someone else... binghe would spoil shizun non stop)

[pr0cyon-lotor]

Au where it was all a ✨dream✨

A collective dream specifically, sorta....

Okay, we're dropped in a scene Shen Yuan is dying. He sacrificed himself to save Binghe from idk a demon attack or something. But he's Shen Qingqiu's husband because there was a previous courtship full of drama, misunderstandings, and eventually love.

So he's being held by Shen Jiu, and as Shen Yuan finally drops. The system pulls up for everyone saying something about how they had completed an exercise, before anyone can even blink all plot relevant characters just drop to the floor.

Anyway PIDW isn't important anymore, let's go to the modern world.

Shen Jiu wakes up in a hospital bed, his memories rushing back. He's... A historian— no, a modern day scholar?... he's renowned for his research papers... Ugh, the voices.

Shen Jiu is told he was in a plane crash that had hospitalized most of its passengers, which is better than the alternative. He asks if there's a Shen Yuan in the hospital, the nurse hesitates and asks why. Shen Jiu got that Shen Yuan is in the hospital but is probably either in bad condition or his family isn't allowed the staff to talk about him.

Shen Jiu says that they're married. The nurse hesitates and then says he is and he's doing worse than before and is in critical condition. Shen Jiu is left to stew over the information.

He is forced to go into physical therapy and all that stuff. He meets the other passengers and can clock each of them. From his Qi-ge to Mobei Jun. It was strange, to see them like normal people when he has a memory of them being greater than that.

They all talk and Shen Jiu takes note of their professions and connections. Once he recovers, he tries to visit Shen Yuan and is told he needs a proof of marriage.

And Shen Jiu being the spiteful and conniving motherfucker he is uses his recently made connections to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss some legalized falsified documents of his and Shen Yuan's marriage, which was a year before the plane crash and their anniversary landed on the day of the crash. How unfortunate truly :,( (he totally didn't pick that day because that was the day they met so in his brain that was they day that led them to be together or anything)

So he shows the documents and then visits Shen Yuan each time he can. He does try to avoid his family and got good at remembering their schedules of visits. He always keeps his hand over Shen Yuan's chest, just so he can feel his heart beat so he knows he's still alive aside from the mechanical beep of the heart monitor.

The day Shen Yuan wakes up, it was during one of Shen Jiu's visits. He wakes up with Shen Jiu . He's still half delirious and still mixing things from his coma "dream" and real life. So he says:

"My husband will get upset if he sees you touching me like that on my chest."

Shen Jiu is amused and puts Shen Yuan's glasses on his face softly and says that he is his husband. Shen Yuan stares at his demure beauty of a husband, mouth agape. The heart monitor picks up and he just says "sup" which confirms to Shen Jiu that he is still the nerdy man he fell in love with.

Shen Jiu tells him they've been married two year by now and kisses his forehead. A nurse bursts in to make sure no one is like y'know dying and sees that Shen Yuan is up. She is shocked because for all intents and purposes he shouldn't have woken up yet. She shoos Shen Jiu away and tells him to wait outside.

The Shens are notified and they finally meet Shen Jiu. He manages to gaslight and charm his parents and siblings. He convinces them that Shen Yuan totally mentioned him and they were totally going to meet if not for the plane crashing. (Shen Jiu remembered when Shen Yuan and him were talking in the plane that he mentioned that he was visiting family. Shen Jiu was flying to speak in a convention or something but they don't need to know that.)

Once Shen Yuan fully awake, his family start worrying over him and then ask why he didn't tell them he was married. Shen Yuan, who did realize his husband was lying is going along with it, said he was going to but things (the plane crash) got in the way.

Anyway new Shen in the family. He probably likes Shen Yuan's little sister and mom.

[i-demand-a-hug]

bingqiu 36 uwu

36. Your eyes heavy, nightmares robbing you of sleep

Shen Qingqiu's rest had been unusually peaceful. Typically, it wasn't enough for Luo Binghe to sleep clinging to his old shizun as though he were a body pillow—he also had to invade his dreams and beg for even more, be it conversation or cuddles or kisses or, really, anything. He wouldn't do this if Shen Qingqiu seemed truly exhausted, and he suspected that if he ever told Luo Binghe a firm 'stop this nonsense' then he would stop. Still, he had just woken from a strangely Binghe-less dream, so he turned over to see his beloved husband's face.

He barely held back a shriek. At the other end of the bed, two glowing red eyes watched him from the darkness. His sleep-addled brain told him to summon his sword—then logic caught up before his fingers so much as twitched, because he knew those eyes very well.

It was Luo Binghe! His husband, watching him from the shadows like a personal goddamn sleep paralysis demon. Binghe, honey, why.

He managed to clamp his mouth shut before he could yell the twenty variations of, "What the fuck," running through his mind.

“Binghe...?”

The red eyes blinked, and their glow started to dim.

“Did I wake Shizun? This disciple apologises.”

“Ah, no, it’s not that...” Shen Qingqiu did not want to admit he had missed Luo Binghe’s presence in his dreams. “Binghe, why are you awake? You should be sleeping.”

He just wanted to make sure there wasn’t some urgent issue—a demon attack, assassins, some kind of side plot he forgot about, or even aliens. Even if the main plot was over, nothing was impossible in the flimsy world of Airplane’s writing. He assumed Luo Binghe would put his worries to rest, maybe say something like, “I was enamored by Shizun’s beautiful sleeping face,” which was the exact type of creepy yet oddly sweet behaviour that was his husband’s entire brand at this point.

But Luo Binghe was... silent. Shen Qingqiu’s worries only grew.

“What’s wrong? Tell me, Binghe.”

He saw Luo Binghe’s silhouette jolt.

“Shizun, there really isn’t—”

“Binghe.”

Luo Binghe drooped, thoroughly scolded with just one word.

“This disciple has been... dreaming tonight.”

“Well, of course,” Shen Qingqiu said. Luo Binghe’s mastery over his own dreams would put the most smug lucid dreamers to shame. But, Luo Binghe wouldn’t have brought it up like this without good reason. “Are you saying you had a nightmare?”

Luo Binghe didn’t respond immediately. There was a strange feeling of shame in the air—was Luo Binghe embarrassed? But why, though? Yeah, he could control dreams, but everyone had bad days.

If you want me to comfort you, then just ask your husband for cuddles like a normal person! We both know you want to!

“This disciple was dreaming about Shizun... after he self-detonated.”

Oh.

Hm. Well, okay. An especially bad nightmare for Luo Binghe.

“And then, when I woke up, Shizun was so still... I-I was scared... So, this disciple was watching Shizun sleep, to make sure he was still breathing...”

“Binghe...” Shen Qingqiu’s heart twisted. He couldn’t see Luo Binghe’s tears, but he could hear the way his voice broke. “Why didn’t you wake me? We could have handled this together.”

Luo Binghe whimpered something incomprehensible. Something something, “Ashamed.” Something something, “Couldn’t bother Shizun.”

His disciple was ridiculous.

“Come here.” Shen Qingqiu held his arms open and waited.

“But Shizun, I...”

Still hesitant? Then, it was time to play his trump card.

In a softer voice, Shen Qingqiu said, “Husband.”

He was almost winded from how quickly Luo Binghe leaped into his chest. He patted his husband’s soft hair, holding him even tighter when he began to tremble.

“Shizun...”

“Shh. This master isn’t going anywhere.”

[truly-morgan]

[Kinktober 2021: Somnophilia (18+)]

BingQiu | Scum Villain Self-Saving System 07-10-2021

Day 7: D̷o̷u̷b̷l̷e̷ P̷e̷n̷e̷t̷r̷a̷t̷i̷o̷n̷ (̷2̷ ̷h̷o̷l̷e̷)̷ / [Somnophilia] / f̷e̷e̷d̷e̷r̷i̷s̷m

Shen Qingqiu promised to wait for him, but when Luo Binghe comes back his lover is asleep. He decides to continue what they started and see if he will wake up.

====

Luo Binghe was finally back from the sudden urgency in the demon realm he simply couldn't ignore for his precious husband.  Especially when said husband was the one who told him he should be more serious about his duty too.

He had left after they had started to get hot and heavy, engraving in his mind the look Shen Qingqiu had on his face. He clearly wanted to tell him not to go, but his pride kept him from begging. Now lbh was so excited to finally come back to his husband, ready to pick up where they had left. Shizun could now have all the love he wanted to receive earlier.

Yet what lbh found was a sleeping husband. He pouted at that, sqq having promised to wait for him to come back. Sure it had been a couple of hours, but he was not gone for days either! But he supposed shizun also had been busy this week. He was about to simply forget it, for now, ready to prepare for bed too when something caught his attention. 

“binghe" was softly moaned by the sleeping man, moving in his sleep, legs spreading a bit more. And lbh recognises very well the bugle hidden under the layers of robes. His shizun was having fun in his dream without him! 

He was seriously tempted to infiltrate that dream, but decided he could do something else. Something newer, dream sex wasn't new to them.

He made his way to the bed, carefully peeling away the layer of light robes sqq was wearing, soon leaving him nearly fully naked. He started by teasing him, trying to see if his husband would react or not, yet all it seemed to do is make his dream look even better.

Even if he didn’t exactly like the idea that shizun was not looking at him, knowing he was the one in his dream pleasuring him was enough. Plus, for now, he was curious as to how much he could do before sqq would wake up from his ministration.

Soon he decided to suck him off, eyes always looking carefully at sqq face. Still no sign of waking up, yet he did try to buck his hip, forcing lbh to grab his hip to stop him. He would go as slow as he wants to go. His other hand worked on fingering sqq, lbh getting aroused at the sight of sqq getting slowly more excited and flushed by the minute, clearly trying to chase so orgasm lbh wouldn’t give him yet.

He wasn’t usually one to punish his shizun (it was the contrary actually) but he was really sad that he didn’t wait for him like he said he would do.

Soon it was lbh who couldn’t wait anymore, feeling that sqq was loose enough (especially when as relaxed as when one is asleep. He made space between his husband's legs, lining himself up. He made sure to look at sqq as he entered him, slowly filling his husband full.

He did manage to fill him fully, hip against sqq ass. It was an interesting sight to see. A very aroused but defenceless shizun taking him as greatly as he usually does. And without waking up!

He didn’t move yet, teasing him a bit more, finger light against his erected cock and nipple, only making the sleeping man squirm a bit more than before. Even if he could go all night like this, he wanted his shizun fully back, so he instead pulled back a bit, before getting in back more quickly and deeply than before.

This for sure woke up the Peak lord, sqq looking confused but he could only moan when lbh started moving non-stop. “Shizun is finally awake, this husband was really sad to see him asleep” he pouted, not leaving a chance for the man to answer and he dove down to kiss him.

Now that he was awake lbh won’t stop.

Original - AO3

[rarepears]

my favorite svsss transmigration loop is a shen brothers where shen jiu is shen yuan’s older brother it sounds boring but hear me out

shen jiu is living his life after burning down the qiu mansion when he comes across a small child who takes one look at him mutters something incoherently and passes out. the only thing shen jiu managed to hear was “ge”.

welp. shen jiu has a little brother now. (he’s going to do a better job than that stupid qi-ge that’s for sure)

so shen jiu takes along little shen yuan to cang qiong peak. what he doesn’t know is that little shen yuan is a transmigrator. that has a mission to 1) investigate villain shen qingqiu’s past and 2) change villain shen qingqiu’s ending. shen yuan is still having a crisis that his er-ge looked exactly like younger shen qingqiu.

basically the plot of svsss happens except shen qingqiu is an onery older brother instead of an evil jealous teacher. he’s…relatively nice but is still mean to luo binghe??? is this the plot trying to right itself??? (no it’s an older brother fighting off his younger brother’s suitors)

the svsss plot ends similarly to how it ended in the novel, except there’s a very angry shen qingqiu in the background because how dare somebody covet his cute baby brother how dare he seduce him. he’s going to kill luo binghe.

until one day, shen qingqiu wakes up in a child’s body. he’s the second son of a rich family, and he has a little brother named shen yuan again. they grow up together, and they have a nice little family. shen jiu is happy. there’s no qiu family there’s no cang qiong peak and most importantly his family is safe and sound. he hears about something called “pidw” now and then but he saw the words “luo binghe” on the novel summary and repressed it far to the back of his mind.

and then he finds a statue of luo binghe (?????? why is he HERE?????) in shen yuan’s room??????

(tldr; shen yuan transmigrated into shen jiu’s younger brother in pidw, completed the plot of svsss, then shen qingqiu transmigrated into shen yuan’s older brother in the modern world, and the cycle repeats itself for infinity)

You know what would be hilarious? The more loops Shen Jiu goes through, the bigger his harem - Shen Jiu: wait, what harem? - gets.

Shen Yuan is happily in his monogamous marriage with Luo Binghe. Shen Jiu has to keeps swatting all the good looking men trying to get into his bed. Except that because Shen Jiu keeps getting more laid back and chill and understanding (thanks to living more modern lives)... Shen Jiu is more like an unhappy hissing kitten because he's mostly all bark and no bite.

Shen Yuan just thinks that his er-ge has a lot of "very good friends". Luo Binghe facepalms in the background, but he loves his husband too much to shatter Shen Yuan's understanding of the world.

[Read more in the #svsss transmigration loop where shen yuan and shen jiu are brothers in every cycle au]

[delicioussshame]

I had this reverse love potion fic idea that would be all angst no plot and I don’t want to write it, so have some notfic.

One day, SQQ wakes up by LBH’s side and feels… nothing? Maybe a vague sense of discomfiture being in bed with a man? He’s not amnesic or anything, so he knows there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with Luo Binghe, but it doesn’t feel right. He tries to work through it, to go on with his life like this is normal, but he has no actual desire to, and he feels like it’s reciprocated? Like, LBH is evading him, which is highly unusual. So when LBH breaks and asks SQQ if he feels different, they talk and discover they don’t love each other anymore. It’s like the switch has been turned off. They both can tell it’s not normal, that it has to have been some form of attack. SQQ figures it’s one of LBH’s supposed wives trying to break them up. He knows he should be more upset than he is, but when he thinks back to his relationship it’s like watching a movie. It has nothing to do with him. Hey, maybe it’s a chance to set the plot back into something like what was supposed to happen? SQQ could just be another peak lord, LBH could lead his realm, it’d be fine.

Luo Binghe takes it a bit harder because he’s very self-motivated, and even if he’s not in love with SQQ anymore he can remember how happy he was with his teacher as a husband. It’s nothing he wants right now, but he knows he would be pleased to get it back again.

Still, even he cannot deal with the current awkwardness of faking domestic bliss with someone he doesn’t feel anything special for, so they decide that LBH will return to the demon realm for now, and that they’ll each look for ways to reverse the situation by themselves, by which they both know LBH will and SQQ will open a book when he feels like it.

LBH does start up chasing every lead, but he’s fighting a losing war. Every single person from his realm he speaks to agree that this is the greatest thing that could ever happen to him. He’s finally detached from the peak lord! Maybe he can take his job seriously now! And marry, oh, a couple hundreds demonesses, that’d be nice.

SQQ lives a pretty similar setting. His fellow peak lords aren’t exactly LBH’s biggest fans, and maybe some of them are thinking this is a godsend.

The main difference I think is that as time passes, I think SQQ would become lonely. From the moment he came to this world up to that fateful morning, his life pretty much revolved around LBH? Now that the main plot is completed, without LBH around, it’s kind of dull. And hey, since he’s got nothing better to do, why not focus on researching a cure? So he puts more time on this.

Meanwhile, I think LBH would become more and more focused on ruling his realm, since he’s very driven and doesn’t really have SQQ as a focus anymore, so the quest would fall to the side after a while.

Still, a very ambitious demon decided he’d find the cure years ago, because while everyone else is trying to a get a pretty uninterested LBH to look at them twice, this demon knows for a fact that if he gives LBH the only one he ever loved back, he’d instantly be rewarded so richly his life would be made. So he works at it, and one day shows up with something sus and is like “this is it!”

LBH is quite suspicious at first and asks everyone with any knowledge on the matter to make sure he won’t be poisoned, but he’s immune to poison so everyone is like *shrug* you should go for it. So he does, immediately starts crying because all the time he wasted being away from his shizun, the love of his life! Why! Why didn’t he search for this without rest! So anyway, he takes the thing and has MBJ teleport him to SQQ’s side, who, again, is now more open to the idea because he’s missing something he can’t understand. He takes it, they both cry, everyone else also does for a different reason, the random demon is so promoted it’s not even funny, and together SQQ and LBH go on a hunt to find out who, exactly, was this fucking reckless with their own life that they thought trying to keep them apart would be a good idea.

This woman spends the rest of her very short life regretting it.

The end.

[radishtears]

displaced, ii

🎋 bingqiu edition

🎋 transmigration(?), time travel(?), humour, crack, basically bingqiu pda ruining liu qingge’s day  

🎋 words: 2.3k

wangxian ver. here: link

… … … … … 

Shen Qingqiu rolls over on his side of the bed. Correction: tries to. Turns out, rolling is not really possible when one is standing upright.

What the hell?

The disorienting sensation pulls him straight into wakefulness in an incredibly unpleasant way. His eyes shoot open only to be hindered by dancing black spots obscuring his vision. Everything is spinning. He stumbles. A rough screech — wood against wood — grates against his sense as a dull throb blossoms on his upper thigh. Ow. A table? He reaches out to brace himself against it, trying to get his bearings back.

His head is throbbing like he has a bad cold and a persistent itch on his right hand also makes itself known. Instinctively, he draws on his spiritual powers to assess his situation, only to be met with a stagnant, heavy sensation that he hasn’t felt in many, many years. Damn.

What else could this be but the oh-so-lovely Incurable poison?!

Hello? System? What the everlasting fuck is this new game now?!

Through the splitting headache and general discomfort, Shen Qingqiu tries to take stock of his surroundings by swivelling his head slowly. It’s a futile attempt not to jostle his uncooperative brain. At least, he manages to identify that he’s in a relatively modest bedroom with no personal effects. An inn? It’s…vaguely familiar.

He’s given no time for further thought, interrupted by two gentle knocks against the door. He didn’t even sense anyone approaching in his confused state. Alarm blossoms in his chest.

“…Who is it?” he calls out cautiously.

There is no immediate answer.

Finally, a low chuckle reaches his ears. It’s a short sound, muffled through the wooden door, but Shen Qingqiu recognizes it with no trouble. Relief floods over him, a conditioned response.

“Binghe.”

Shen Qingqiu makes to go open the door. Alas. It seems his coordination skills haven’t returned yet.

Crash!

Thump.

“Ow…” Shen Qingqiu’s robes pool around him where he’s landed painfully on the ground. Well, this is embarrassing. The stool he tripped over lies next to him, overturned. He sighs. This little detour certainly did nothing to help his headache. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind chilling on the ground for a bit. Certainly less effort this way.

The door bursts open and Luo Binghe hurries inside. Rather, he looks like he’s trying to hurry without looking like he’s hurrying. Kinda cute? Hm, maybe seven out of ten.

As shameful as it is to be bested by a mere bamboo stool, after so many years of married life, Luo Binghe has already been privy to many instances of inelegant behaviour by his dear shizun. Shen Qingqiu sighs again, resigned, and holds out a hand for Luo Binghe to help him up.

Usually, Luo Binghe happily stumbles over himself to make Shen Qingqiu comfortable, but this time the response is not forthcoming. Shen Qingqiu looks at him strangely. What’s with his demon lord today?

“Binghe? A little help?”

He waves his fingers a little, still suspended in the air towards his husband. Something red on his skin catches his eye. A rash? Attention diverted, he retracts his hand to take a closer look.

A bolt of recognition jolts through him just as a large hand closes around his infected one. He looks up at Luo Binghe, who has soundlessly crouched down next to him, a strange expression on his face. The young demon lord doesn’t meet his eyes, staring instead at their joined hands.

To anyone else, that expression may as well be unreadable. To Shen Qingqiu, it says worry, confusion, conflict. His mind is spinning, a hundred revolutions per millisecond.

“Sowers…?” Shen Qingqiu murmurs absently under his breath. Luo Binghe’s thumb gently rubs against the skin of his hand and the red fades along with the itch.

“Apologies, Shizun,” Luo Binghe says at last. “You must have been feeling very unwell. This disciple came late.”

“Mn, indeed a little late,” Shen Qingqiu replies, teasingly, out of habit. “Uh.”

Luo Binghe stares at him.

Slowly, Luo Binghe slides his hand up Shen Qingqiu’s wrist, then his arm, all the while watching his face carefully. His expression turns even stranger when Shen Qingqiu doesn’t stop him.

Welp.

Even through the persisting headache, Shen Qingqiu has managed to put the pieces together. At least enough to see the bigger picture. He finally catches Luo Binghe’s hand and pulls it back down.

As if waiting for this excuse, Luo Binghe’s lips thin.

“Ah, is Shizun so disgusted by this disciple’s touch that—”

His passive aggressive speech turns into spluttering when Shen Qingqiu drops his head against his shoulder.

“Give me a moment,” Shen Qingqiu grumbles. “Head hurts. What is this nonsense so early in the morning, heavens above.”  

“S-shizun?!”

“Anyway, can we get up off the floor first? It’s rather cold, actually.”

When Luo Binghe doesn’t move, Shen Qingqiu pats his shoulder. Still nothing.  

“Really now?” Impatient, Shen Qingqiu resorts to using Luo Binghe as leverage to hoist himself upright, keeping up a stream of complaints as he did so. “Thinking back, you were so unnecessarily dramatic. Huanhua Palace, sowers, water prison…everything. I was at fault as well, but why couldn’t you have just said something? Would’ve made it so much easier. Ah, well.”

When he is successfully back on his feet, he turns around to face Luo Binghe, only to nearly fall over again as he’s abruptly crowded against the table. His de-aged husband boxes him in with sturdy arms so that he’s forced to lean back slightly lest he ram his forehead against Luo Binghe’s nose.

“So Shizun does indeed find the antics of demons to be unsavoury—”

Shen Qingqiu cuts him off again. By pinching his side.

“There you go again with your assumptions.” Shen Qingqiu shimmies a hand up from where it’s trapped against his side to poke Luo Binghe’s very solid chest. “Granted, I did not make it very easy for you back then, but can’t you listen to me right now?”  

He would very much like to figure out how he got here first, thanks. This Luo Binghe isn’t helping matters. The quickest way to clear up this historical misunderstanding might be to kiss him straight on the lips, Shen Qingqiu thinks, though he’s not sure Luo Binghe would survive that. Too soon, maybe. Probably.

“Binghe, listen…”

A series of sharp knocks interrupts him. They both turn their heads towards the entrance.

“Shen Qingqiu.”

Unceremoniously, Liu Qingge throws open the door and steps into the room. He freezes. Shen Qingqiu can tell the moment he registers his and Luo Binghe’s rather scandalous position. Ah.

“What is this?” With a shink, Chengluan leaves its sheath. “Step away from him.”

“Liu…shishu.”

Shen Qingqiu barely refrains from rolling his eyes at Luo Binghe’s suddenly poisonous tone. He pushes gently at Luo Binghe, wanting to straighten up and speak to True Bro Liu in a more dignified manner. As expected, Luo Binghe doesn’t budge. What he does instead is snake an arm around Shen Qingqiu’s waist while holding Liu Qingge’s glare tauntingly. Shen Qingqiu is a little surprised — Luo Binghe didn’t originally show his “true colours” this early on.

“Insolent brat!” Liu Qingge has clearly recognized Luo Binghe by now.

“Why, is Liu-shishu the only one privileged enough to enter Shizun’s room freely?”

“If you still think of him as your master, unhand him immediately!”

“And if I don’t?”

Chengluan glints as Liu Qingge’s grip tightens. “Then—!”

“Now, now.” Shen Qingqiu interjects. “It’s okay, Liu-shidi. We were just speaking. Binghe means no harm.”

“How do you know that? You told us your dead disciple has suddenly reappeared as a Huanhua disciple. Why did he not return to Cangqiong right away, if not for some ulterior motive?”

“I suppose you’re not wrong about that,” Shen Qingqiu says, slightly amused. “But, in that case, I am well aware of what that motive is.”

“Do you?” Luo Binghe chuckles darkly. “If Shizun truly knows, then…”

“You want answers, right?” Shen Qingqiu turns back to him.

“Answers…yes. I want answers. But if I ask…” Luo Binghe’s grip around his waist tightens. “Shizun would be disgusted.”

“Are you sure about that?”

In the background, Shen Qingqiu vaguely registers Mu Qingfang entering the room, probably attracted by the commotion. He sends a silent apology in both his shidis’ direction as he leans in.

Mwah.

In a practiced motion, he lands a smooch against Luo Binghe’s forehead.

“Does that answer it a little?”

Hm. Oh dear, Luo_Binghe.exe looks like it has stopped functioning. Does he need a reboot?

“Shen Qingqiu! You—?! Wha—?!”

“Shen-shixiong?!”

Shen Qingqiu shoots Liu Qingge and Mu Qingfang a sheepish smile. However, he has no time to explain. Without warning, the entirety of Luo Binghe’s weight falls against him and he stumbles back against the table behind him. He only just manages to catch Luo Binghe before they both end up sprawled on the floor.

“Binghe?!”

Um, did he pass out from the shock? No way, right? Hurriedly, he tilts Luo Binghe’s chin upwards to see that his eyes have glazed over. Thank the heavens it only lasts a second before Luo Binghe blinks back into consciousness.

“Shizun…?”

Another blink.

“Shizun!”

The menacing hold from before turns now into a snuggling embrace as Luo Binghe visibly brightens.

“Shizun, I found you! This disciple was so worried when you wouldn’t wake up this morning. It took far too long to pinpoint your location since Xinmo’s repair is still ongoing…”

Shen Qingqiu pats his fluffy head, shakily, recovering from that heart-stopping moment. “Binghe did very well. Thank you for finding me.” He’s truly relieved. Having any version of Luo Binghe with him is good, no doubt, but his Luo Binghe is definitely the top choice.

“Just what is going on?”

Poor Liu Bro. Unfortunately, Shen Qingqiu himself isn’t sure yet, either.

“What indeed…”

… … …

As it turns out, Xinmo has to recharge for a bit before Luo Binghe can whisk them back to their own space-time. Or so Luo Binghe asserted. Anyhow, there’s no harm in wandering around in the meantime, casually rounding up the demon sowers for lack of a better way to pass the time. Liu Qingge doggedly follows behind them in the name of supervision, oozing a dark aura the entire way.

“L-luo-gongzi,” Qin Wanyue stutters as they cross paths with the Huanhua Palace party. “Why are you…?”

Luo Binghe dismisses her entirely, poor girl, so Shen Qingqiu does her the courtesy of nodding a greeting. “Lady Qin.”

Incredulously, she and her fellow disciples take in the way Luo Binghe sticks close to Shen Qingqiu’s side. Even Gongyi Xiao looks a little bug-eyed, though he also looks genuinely happy to see them back on “good terms”. What a truly great child.

Shen Qingqiu shoots Gongyi Xiao a reassuring smile a smile which prompts Luo Binghe to tug at his hand with a subtle pout. Qin Wanyue’s eyes widen as she notices Luo Binghe touch Shen Qingqiu’s back to nudge them along. Her mouth twists.

“What did qianbei do to place Luo-gongzi under your spell again so quickly?” she snaps. “Luo-gongzi, you should return with us to Huanhua Palace.”

“Yeah,” someone else yells. A chorus of support rises up from the group.

The corners of Luo Binghe’s mouth tilt up dangerously.

“Oh?” He turns — theatrically, in Shen Qingqiu’s opinion — to look “questioningly” at him. “Is that so? Has Shizun been enchanting me all along?”

Well, someone’s having fun, Shen Qingqiu scoffs in his head. Out loud, he returns in a deadpan, “What do you think?”

Somehow, some idiot in the crowd takes that as an admission.

“I knew it! Shen-qianbei, who knew the illustrious Xiuya Sword would resort to such insidious means! We cannot stand by while you take advantage of Luo-gongzi!”

Wow, Luo Binghe sure had them wrapped around his pinkie. It’s impressive, really.

“Everyone, that is highly inappropriate! Apologies, Shen-qianbei, for this manner of disrespect!” Gongyi Xiao is valiantly trying to perform crowd-control. “Watch out—!”

Someone has dared to raise their bow in Shen Qingqiu’s direction.

A cultivator’s instinct has Shen Qingqiu gathering spiritual energy in a split second, completely forgetting that he’s still tied down by the effects of Incurable poison. Oops. Well, not that he had any need to defend himself, as illustrated by the two forms that immediately step forth to shield him. Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge glare at each.

Triaging Liu Qingge as the lesser of evils, Luo Binghe looks away and decidedly locks his piercing red gaze at the crowd instead.

“Who was it that had the courage to raise a weapon against Shizun?”

The crowd shivers.

A stupidly brave soul pipes up, “Luo-g-gongzi, you m-mustn’t be deceived a-again!”

“Deceived? I have no such concern.” Luo Binghe smirks. “But either way, I dare say the matters between myself and my cultivation partner are no one’s business but our own.”

It is silent for a good long second.

“Cultivation—?! D-did I hear that right?”

“Excuse me?!”

Satisfied, Luo Binghe takes Shen Qingqiu’s hand again, swinging it a little as if to emphasize his point. Shen Qingqiu humours him if only because he has no energy right now to do otherwise. He swears he can see little pink flowers fluttering around Luo Binghe’s head. Another protagonist feature?

“Let’s go.”

“Sure, Shizun.”  

Liu Qingge doesn’t follow right away, standing still with his face lifted towards the heavens. Oof, that expression. He already heard the truth earlier, but apparently hearing it again is no less traumatizing.

As they walk away against the backdrop of confused yelling, Shen Qingqiu flexes his hand. “Ah, I haven’t felt this in such a long time.” His earlier attempt to forcibly summon spiritual energy has sparked some level of discomfort. “I cannot say I missed it.”

Luo Binghe leans in, eager and hopeful. A misbehaving hand slides a little too far down Shen Qingqiu’s back. His imaginary tail is definitely wagging right now.

“I can cure Shizun right now—”

“No need, thank you!”

Shen Qingqiu speeds up immediately. He can already feel his uncooperative ears beginning to burn.

“Shizun~”

“Shoo!”

Tch! How shameless!

[writing-frenzy]

Plz let Airplane be EVEN MORE Awesome - Fic Rec Part Duo

*Stares at all the notes my last post got* Nice to know we are all just as Thirsty for the good boi as Mobei-Jun is.

So Thus, I have decided to make another! (Smashes the post button) Since there was a lot, I just decided to make another post.

here we go kids, more of that good Airplane love... alongside that good quality Moshang because I am biased~ 

(Plz share if you find more!)

a cup of vinegar, a spoon of sugar by Shamelesscooper -��“Your timing certainly is impeccable, my lord,” Wei Wuxian groans, rubbing his back. “What brings you here for the second time in as many nights…?” “I left my cloak,” Mobei-Jun says, shooting Wei-Wuxian a dirty look as the bird demon shrugs his robe back on.“You certainly did!” Shang Qinghua exclaims, crossing his arms quite crossly. “You can’t just leave your things everywhere, my king!” Mobei-Jun’s hard stare refocuses on Shang Qinghua, and he can’t help but shrink back, hurriedly rummaging around in his qiankun pouch for the offending garment. As soon as Shang Qinghua finds it, Mobei-Jun takes it from his hands and throws it over his shoulders, breathing in a deep sigh as if it relieved him to have it there again. If you miss it so much, why did you even leave it behind?! Shang Qinghua almost wants to say, but he is quite fond of his head, actually, and would rather Mobei-Jun not take it off his shoulders, thankyouverymuch. 

--Shang Qinghua is tasked with escorting the leader of the Yiling Carrion Tribe to Gusu, and it'd be fine if only Mobei-Jun would stop poking his (gorgeous, beautiful, drop-dead handsome) head in!

*Evil grin* here we have a delicious rare side of Jealous Mobei, Shang Qinghua doing something that most MDZS fans dream of doing once, and a side of shamelessness from our favorite ‘Lovebirds’ XD Not to mention how steamy it gets~

-

You Will Never Step Lightly In The Dark by Janusoverlord - Shang Qinghua wakes up in the aftermath of Tianlang-Jun's rampage on Cang Qiong Mountain and has to navigate the delicate political situation he now finds himself in. Luo Binghe is building a harem with Shen Qingqiu as his first, and honestly most terrifying, husband. Yet, Luo Binghe seems to be turning his eyes to Shang Qinghua as a possibility as well. Excuse you? What is this? He didn't sign up for this!

Okay, make sure you read the tags kiddies because uhhh, this has some themes to it. It is also part of a series as well, but I read it stand alone and it does good with how it explains things; as it is...

Let me just say, Luo Binghe does not know what he just got into; all mortals will bow to the might of our lord Airplane! I really did like this and I am tentatively on the fence about reading the rest of the series, because the writing is so damn good but we will see how my ship cravings twist.

-

With Ink and Sword by xnemone - Shang Qinghua is appropriately nervous when he passes the Imperial Exams only to be assigned not to the Emperor’s palace, but to the barren lands ruled by a lord known to be as ruthless as he is cold. Although his friend and confidant Shen Qingqiu gives him a sympathetic smile and a mountain of furs before he sets off, Shang Qinghua feels less than reassured.He expects ridicule, a harsh regime, even rejection. What he does not expect is for Mobei-Jun to take one look at him among all the scholars and servants of his palace, and proclaim him his.

Now, this is such a good story, I love it, is makes me feel happy and squishy inside with the good Moshang, and you know what? It has my new favorite thing in the world!

Shang Qinghua calls Cucumber bro out! AND IT IS GLORIOUS!!! (Seriously, why does this not happen more often?)

-

Good Vibrations by Feynite -  In Shang Qinghua’s defense, this whole trope was originally something he’d only ever written in for Sha Hualing, for precisely one scene.

In which I actually feel ashamed for forgetting such a treasure. Like, Feynite is a wonderful wordsmith, invoking so many thoughts and good shit with their words and characters, and by god do I end up just loving them even more then before.

This story passes the Vibe Check! (Luo Binghe also gets a Vibe Check~)

-

From Your Perspective by cozycitywitch - It was nothing more than a curse, probably, and surly the witch doctor could fix it? So what else was Shang Qinghua to do inside Mobei Jun's body until the end of the night? He couldn't be blamed for his curiosity! He was only a man! Or the one where Moshang switch bodies and Shang Qinghua can't help himself.

Now, this is a lovely, spicy lime where while there is no big action or technical awesomeness going on, it does have some wonderful images; Shang Qinghua’s hamster body with the aura of a king, him showing off being intimating which means Shang Qinghua can indeed be scary, it is something that could happen if he has the motivation for it.

Not to mention this is just a hot story all around~ (My kingdom’s for My King’s POV on this~)

-

ham hunt by jets_adjacent - There's a wolf at Shang Qinghua's heels and his only thought is: Northern mating rituals are a pain in the ass.

This is a really, really good A/B/O fic; it also shows just how tricky and sneaky our Shang Qinghua can be, as well as a mischievous side I just love seeing in our favorite Peak Lord. And let’s not forget the spicy goodness of this fic, which is really tasty~ (And can I get a shout out for consent and negotiated kinks!)

-

In which healthy relationship skills are forcibly brought into Proud Immortal Demon Way by two bros by Rafaela271412421 -  Look, if no one is going to give these people friends and healthy relationships then by GOD, I WILL do it myself! It's about two bros bringing healthy relationships into PIDW both intentionally and not. Gods and deities, accidental and not, will also be included. Also, it's in bullet point format, so you’ve been warned.

ahahahahaahhahahahaahaha! I love this fucking outline/bullet points presentation, it is something I always end up going back to and giggling like an idiot. The is really a healing piece, my crops have been watered, my face is clear, and Airplane and Cucumber Bros go completely feral~ I love it, I want to propose marriage~

-

trinkets for a king by jets_adjacent - Shang Qinghua gives many extraordinary gifts to his King. His King finally catches on. --aka: Mobei Jun has never been courted by a human before.

So, this is a wonderful subversion of the ‘Mobei-Jun courts/plans his wedding to Shang Qinghua all the while said man is unaware’. like, it is so cute and I love jelly Airplane; it gives me life. Also, one of the few we see Airplane taking full advantage of all his author knowledge and using it for the devious plans~

-

The Southern King and The North Star by Luuplup - A series of meetings between the Southern King and a cultivator. The happy moments, the romantic moments, the sad moments.  

Another really cute Role Reversal I find I greatly enjoy, with a very competent, beloved Lord Demon!Airplane :D it makes me happy when I read it, I end up wanting to hug something~ It seems like it will be a slow burn, what with our favorite moronsexuals, but oh is it delicious seeing the buildup~ 

-

under a wicked star by tagteamme - Caught unaware, Mobei Jun is kidnapped for leverage. On the eighth day, Mobei Jun is broken out of his trance by the sound of something being tossed into his pit. It’s a lot lighter than what they throw food down in. He realizes that today, he is not tied down.When he moves off the bed, he does not need the canopy post to support his weight as he stands up. The object on the floor glints in the firelight, and Mobei Jun crouches to pick it up. His face is immoving; slowly, he turns the An Ding peak lord crown in his hand, looking at the blood-soaked metal through the light.

SQH to the rescue! Alongside some good old fashioned angsty Moshang miscommunication but with Mobei-Jun’s POV this time, and some absolutely good steamy good times for all XD 

-

we seal our fate by ketolic (corrose) - All things considered, it really was sort of obvious. Hey! Anyone can be a genius in retrospect. Hindsight is 20/20! Besides, who can blame him! He'd never written about this facet of Mobei Jun's life before! Still...considering all the times he'd gotten his hands on Mobei Jun's sealskin, he's sort of shocked that it took him so long to figure it out.

:D This story makes me giggle uncontrollably, and still finds ways to unexpectedly stab me in the heart. I love it! Not to mention we get to see SQH be awesome! Sure, he flails around as he does it, but busts out the fighting moves and even fits a rescue in there! So good, so in character, I love every watery moment of this fic... good thing I’m so thirsty- (Is shot)

-----

But yeah! These are some more good stories I found, some a bit more- urrrr- thirstier then others~ you can find the first thing of Fic Recs Here! And Plz, share more awesome Airplane whenever you have a chance~

[allpiesforourown]

I saw so many angsty posts on Twitter and am in sad mood so here is my idea for harem member Shen Yuan.

Imagine Lou Binghe never acknowledging his feels for his omega husband and focuses on his othe wives or bringing in new wives. Shen Yuan though is content with his life filled with caring for the children of the harem and the close friends he’s made among the wives. They even have a book club! Life is good.

Until the day Shen Yuan dies. It was an assassin targeting one of the princes and unfortunately Shen Yuan took the hit. Having never shared his husband’s bed or eaten his cooking, he never received the blood parasites. Lou Binghe is away on a campaign and won’t be back for a week or two. The doctors know there is no cure. Shen Yuan dies, surrounded by the wives he befriends and those he cared for.

The day Luo Binghe comes home, it is to be welcomed by the sight of his wives scattering Shen Yuan’s ashes💔

There's a fic with a similar premise, where Bingge is betrayed by his harem and attacked. Neglected harem member Shen Yuan takes the attack and dies saving Binghe. Then Binghe wakes up a few years in the past and realizes how much shen yuan secretly loved him and decides shen yuan is the only wife he wants

I spent over half an hour looking for it on ao3 fic but I can't find it 😭 someone please share the link if you have it saved

[serotocin38]

As Lullabies

Shen Qingqiu as Hush Little Baby: He’s rich, and he’s good at dealing with crying babies. But he deals with adult babies (read: Luo Binghe), and his experience has taught him to indulge whatever the crying baby wants to make it stop. So what does he do in the case of a real crying baby? Buy everything in sight in hopes something will distract the child until Shen Qingqiu can find actual childcare.

Luo Binghe as Are You Sleeping/Frère Jacques: The reasoning is simple. If Bingqiu had a kid, Shen Qingqiu would never allow papapa if the kid was awake, or even easily awoken. So naturally, Luo Binghe would have to make sure that child is dead asleep before he tries making a move on his husband, or he might get whacked on the head at best, banished to the cot into the nursery for the night at worst. (Linked is an English translation of a French lullaby) 

Wei Wuxian as Somewhere Over the Rainbow: Wei Wuxian is a fun dad. He will fly the kids around the room like they’re birds or something. He’ll tell bedtime stories and do all the voices. He’ll put with the five consecutive requests for water before bed, despite knowing it is a ploy to stay awake a bit longer. He’s a dreamer at heart, he’s cheerful and wants to bring joy to other people. But his circumstances beat him down at one point, and he just had to ask why he couldn’t have happiness when other people could (“why, oh, why can’t I?”). Eventually, he gets his happy ending (“dreams really do come true”), and now he plays epic bedtime concerts for the kids even though noise is forbidden at the Cloud Recesses, and his “kids” are teenagers now.

Lan Wangji as You Are My Sunshine (minor): This lullaby doesn’t actually have to do with babies or children, but is directed at Wei Wuxian instead, hear me out. This song is a reflection of Lan Wangji in the 13 years that Wei Wuxian was dead. If you actually listen to the lyrics of this lullaby, it’s quite sad and dark, and linked is the version of this song, sung in a minor key, which really brings out the grieving tone of the lullaby’s lyrics. The lyrics reflect all the pain and longing in Lan Wangji’s heart. Particularly the lines “The other night dear, as I lay sleeping/I dreamt I held you in my arms/But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken/So I hung my head and cried”. Just the idea of Lan Wangji waking up after dreaming of Wei Wuxian’s bright smile only to find himself alone, having fallen asleep in front of his guqin after playing Inquiry for the eighth time that night. And two drops silently slide off of those pale cheeks and land on the polished wood of his guqin, drying before Lan Wangji even grasps the courage to open his eyes to a world where Wei Wuxian was gone. In Lan Wangji’s case, “please don’t take my sunshine away” is an empty plea to a cruel world where all is already lost.

Xie Lian as Rock-a-Bye Baby: I just feel like Xie Lian would be absolutely terrible at taking care of babies. He would be so confused because there is zero communication between them. He grew up a prince and is a 800-year-old virgin, what do you expect? So the whole thing with the tree breaking, the baby falling, and rocking a baby on the tree in the first place, it seems plausible in Xie Lian’s case. Good thing is, HuaHua is always nearby to catch the baby.

Hua Cheng as You Are My Sunshine (major): No, this isn’t a mistake, this song is on here twice. Like before, this doesn’t have anything to do with babies, but is for Xie Lian. This is the “usual” lullaby version, in a happier key. In this case, this song isn’t about losing a loved one, this one is hoping he doesn’t have to lose a loved one, a prayer, if you will. If you take the same stanza from LWJ’s blurb and fit it to Hua Cheng, the situation would be a bit different because Hua Cheng never actually lost Xie Lian. In his case, those lines would reflect Hua Cheng dreaming of a happier life where he and Xie Lian skip through meadows all day while holding hands. When he wakes, Hua Cheng realizes that he doesn’t actually have Xie Lian in his life, and it’s frustrating, sparking a few angry tears, but it also goes to fuel his determination to grow stronger so he can achieve that dream. And then, the line “please don’t take my sunshine away” in Hua Cheng’s case is an actual request. But since Xie Lian is immortal, he doesn’t actually mean Xie Lian’s death, but moreso, a cry in hopes that Xie Lian doesn’t end up breaking before Hua Cheng gets a chance to protect him from the world.

[ryukoishida]

LiuShen Week 2019 | Day 4 | In which they share kisses in different situations.

Written for LiuShen Week 2019  @liushenweek

Day 4: Loved (Free Day)

Title: And the Reason is You Fandom: Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System Characters/Ships: LiuShen Rating: Slightly NSFW Summary: Three times Shen Qingqiu kissed Liu Qingge, and that one time Liu Qingge initiated the kiss. A/N: Holy shit. Am I writing again? I know, I’m shocked at myself too.

-

i.

“Liu-shidi, I—”

There was a hint of strain in his usually calm, assured tone, as if he was using his last ounce of strength to hold himself back from reaching out to the man sitting so close to him.

His shivering fingers lightly wrapped around the back of the other man’s neck, and he pulled his head down, their breaths mingling for just a brief moment, hearts thundering and drowning out everything else.

Even when he was slightly under the influence of the venom, Shen Qingqiu still somehow managed to kiss him with such careful precision and control. The mesmerizing taste of his osmanthus-scented breath — a clear sign of him being poisoned — was overwhelmingly saccharine when he touched his lips gently against Liu Qingge’s, who could only widen his eyes at the unexpected turn of events.

Two hours ago, they had dragged their exhausted bodies back to the inn after exterminating a group of high-level flower demonesses who had enchanted and kidnapped the town’s young men in order to suck their vitality in aid of their cultivation.

It wasn’t a particularly difficult encounter they had in terms of an extermination mission, but the leader of those demonesses had been cunning, enough that Shen Qingqiu – who, at least according to a scoffing Liu Qingge, had been too easy on them as the lord of Qing Jing Peak had initially planned to extract the kidnapped victims in a more polished means without causing too much of a mess – had fallen into the demoness’s trap.

Neither of them was seriously injured in the end, but Shen Qingqiu inhaled some of the dangerous sweet pollen, which as he soon found out to be a very potent aphrodisiac, and no long cold soak in the bathtub was able to completely erase the devastating effects of such venom. Tendrils of tantalizing heat and sparks of prickling sensation snaked up from within the depth of his body and spread to the surface of his skin, making him slightly flushed and breathless, almost as if he had a fever.

Shen Qingqiu had been absolutely vigilant of any physical contact since they came back, but it was all over the moment Liu Qingge’s fingers brushed against the back of his hand — swelteringly warm and over-sensitive – when he was handing him a cup of warm tea in an attempt to sooth the twitching, pulsing desire within him.

It took Liu Qingge much longer than he was willing to admit to react to the kiss, for the initially chaste touch of their lips quickly turned into something much more intense, something that threatened to rip Liu Qingge’s breath and last strand of logic away.

Then the acute, unnaturally sweet floral taste of Shen Qingqiu’s tongue shattered the illusion when he tried to deepened the kiss, and Liu Qingge quickly staggered back, shoving away the slightly shorter man, who was putting up quite a fight for someone who was supposedly poisoned and weakened.

“Shen. Qing. Qiu.”

With each syllable of the man’s name, Liu Qingge’s voice dripped with icy impassivity and quiet fury: a warning, or a subtle sign of fear.

“Damn it, Shen Qingqiu! Wake up!”

Shen Qingqiu’s eyes were clouded with raw lust stirred up by an artificial source, but the kiss had been real, the little noise of discontent rolling from the back of his throat when Liu Qingge pushed him back had been real, the desperate grasp of his sleeves when he attempted to come closer once more, and the eager way with which Shen Qingqiu called for him had also been real.

But…

You are not yourself, Liu Qingge thought.

He wondered why his heart was hurting so much when he finally lost the will to fight and simply allowed Shen Qingqiu to embrace him as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

And I am not the one you truly want.

-

ii.

“Liu-shidi, stay exactly where you are and don’t move!”

As soon as the Sha Lu Er flopped lifelessly onto the ground with a thundering thud, its gaping jaws twitching a few seconds more as human blood dripped from its yellowing fangs before it laid completely still, Shen Qingqiu returned Xiu Ya sword back into its sheath and ran towards his companion, his furrowing brows and hastened pace the only signs of his unease.

“Are you all right? Dear god, your arm…”

“I am fine,” Liu Qingge would roll his eyes at his shixiong’s melodramatic antics were he the type to do so; instead, he just acted how he usually would – avoided eye contact at all costs and pretending everything was fine, like the flesh and bones of his left arm weren’t crushed into a bloody, mangled mass by that damn fifteen-feet-long shark-deer monster that had been wreaking havoc and endangering the villagers in nearby towns. “Shen-shixiong has no need to be overly concerned for me.”

A pause, and then something hard hit the back of his head.

Liu Qingge uttered a pained groan and glared at the other man through the messy fringes of his forelocks, his iron-grey irises blazing in irritation despite his pale complexion due to blood loss from his injury.

Shen Qingqiu’s grasp on the handle of his fan tightened until his knuckles turned white, his lips pressed into a firm line as he maintained their eye contact.

“What the hell was that for?”

“What do you mean — that I don’t need to be concerned for you?! Liu Qingge, I thought we’ve gone over this already! What you did just now, throwing yourself so carelessly into the fight, I—” Shen Qingqiu exhaled harshly, turning his head away as uncomfortable warmth crept up from his neck to his cheeks when Liu Qingge continued to stare at him with a hint of curiosity laced within the initial frustration. “That was for making me worried sick!”

Liu Qingge blinked once, twice, finally comprehending what Shen Qingqiu was insinuating, and he stumbled the two steps forward to close the distance between them, leaving a trail of blood behind him.

“Shen Qingqiu…” he murmured, eyes lowered in a silent apology.

Shen Qingqiu lifted his arm and gently gathered a strand of Liu Qingge’s ink-black hair in between his blood-stained fingertips.  He kissed his locks with a warm, tender light in his eyes that Liu Qingge had never seen before.

He didn’t dare imagine; he didn’t dare hope; he didn’t want to be disappointed.

“I cannot bear the thought of losing you, so please, Qingge, I beg you, don’t put me through that again.”

-

iii.

Shen Qingqiu kissed the back of the other man’s hand reverently, lips lingering on the skin marred with battle scars and tongue gliding over callouses hardened by swordsmanship training over the years. He traced his lips over the elegant structure of his fingers until he reached the tip of Liu Qingge’s middle finger, which he then took into the wet cavern of his mouth in its entirety, until the fingertip grazed the back of his throat, and he swallowed hungrily around it.

It was shameful: the wet sounds of Shen Qingqiu sucking on his skin like he couldn’t get enough of his taste reverberating in his ears, those mesmerizing red, swollen lips wrapping around his fingers, the trembling eyelashes surrounding the darkened irises that looked like Shen Qingqiu wanted nothing more than to consume him whole.

It was shameful, and Liu Qingge wanted to turn away from this unbecoming sight, but he couldn’t stop noticing how Shen Qingqiu’s chest was rising and falling deeply with each breath, or how his long hair, freed from the length of his hair tie, flowed like rivers of ink over the pale canvas of his shoulders.    

“Mnn… Shen Qingqiu, stop playing around and get to it…” he’d meant to sound menacing, but the breathless way with which he uttered the threat betrayed the swelling desire barely contained within his shivering body.

At long last, as if finally satisfied by the teasing he’d instigated against his beloved shidi, Shen Qingqiu pulled his head away with a knowing smirk, a thin string of saliva still connected from his lower lip to the tip Liu Qingge’s finger.

On the battlefield, Liu Qingge incited fear in his enemies and admiration in his allies simply by his presence and the powerful arcs and sweeps of his Cheng Luan sword; in the privacy of their shared bed while lying underneath Shen Qingqiu, Liu Qingge somehow lost the prideful and confident air that made him one of the strongest combatants in the cultivation realm. Instead, he would relinquish all his control to Shen Qingqiu, who would then patiently guide him between the valleys and peaks of pleasure through agonizingly gentle touches and ferocious, carnal ecstasy.  

“Qingge, is this how you ask your shixiong for something? Where are your manners, hmm?”

Shen Qingqiu had a light grip of Liu Qingge’s chin so that the other man couldn’t turn away as Shen Qingqiu had suspected he would.  

With bloodshot eyes and lips that’d been bitten raw, Liu Qingge muttered a fairly impressive, “fuck you.”

“I thought that was the plan, was it not?” Shen Qingqiu laughed, amused by Liu Qingge’s lackluster insult as he placed a soft kiss on the other man’s forehead. “Or are you having second thoughts?”

“Never.”

-

+i.

Shen Qingqiu was not good at cooking. He wasn’t awful at it per se, as he had the skills of making instant noodles with various toppings back in the good, old days without burning down his tiny apartment, but he’d choose to go exterminate a bunch of evil demonic beings over doing this any day.

But for his cultivating partner — the light and love of his life, his newly-wedded husband — he would cook him a proper meal even if it killed him.

Perhaps he was being a little over-dramatic in this matter.

Shen Qingqiu chopped the tofu half-heartedly, trying to recall the specific way Luo Binghe had taught him, but all his effort only resulted in uneven chunks of the silky white curds, one-fourth of the portion he was certain he’d turned into useless mush that couldn’t be pan-fried in the wok.

On second thoughts, maybe he should have taken actual notes when Luo Binghe had been teaching him how to make a few homely dishes just a few days ago.  

He was about to get another cube of tofu sitting in the wooden tub of cold water when Liu Qingge’s voice could be heard from the kitchen’s entryway.

“Shen Qingqiu, there you are,” the lord of Bai Zhan Peak had a slight, confused frown to his brows when he stepped into the kitchen and gradually made his way towards his partner. “I have been looking all over for you… what in the world are you doing?”

He raised one of his brows in puzzlement. “What is this? Are you… are you making dinner?”

“Trying,” Shen Qingqiu emphasized the keyword in this matter. “And failing miserably, as you can see.”

He stepped away from the counter to let Liu Qingge observe his progress — or lack thereof, rather.

Shen Qingqiu sighed, placing the knife down on the cutting board.

“Binghe spent almost four hours the other day teaching me how to make this dish, too. Now I feel terrible for wasting his time. It seems that I have learned nothing from our culinary lessons.”

Liu Qingge’s eyes flashed dangerously at the mention of Luo Binghe.

“Wait, you were with that brat? On your own? When was that? How many times have I told you to stay away—”

“Oh, calm down,” Shen Qingqiu chuckled, swiftly going over to his partner and wrapping his arms around the taller man’s shoulder, pulling him closer as he continued, “he’s just a mere child, Qingge. Why must you two always act so childish and hostile to each other every time you meet? It’s understandable for him to act this way since he’s still a teenager, but Liu Qingge, you are the renowned, respectable Bai Zhan Peak Lord. You don’t have to stoop down to a child’s level like that. I know you are better than that.”

“Hmph. I do not understand why you are so protective of that brat, but he is your disciple after all. Just… promise me to be careful of his intentions when you are around him by yourself.”

“Duly noted,” Shen Qingqiu noticed the genuine worry in his partner’s eyes, and he nodded solemnly in response. With the ill-chosen topic out of the way, Shen Qingqiu once again glanced over at the atrocity he’d created in the short span of twenty minutes of meal preparation. “Now then, I suppose I should clean up this mess and let the kitchen staff reclaim their space.”

“Wait,” Liu Qingge placed a hand over Shen Qingqiu’s as the Qing Jing Peak Lord was about to reach for the knife.

“Hmm?” Shen Qingqiu turned to look at his partner, his head tilted to the side slightly in question. “Qingge, what is it?”

“I…” Liu Qingge bit his lower lip as he struggled to put his thought into words, his cheeks gradually turning pink. “I would like to try your cooking, i-if you do not mind, that is.”

Almost as an afterthought, Liu Qingge lowered his head and pressed a firm but gentle kiss against Shen Qingqiu’s lips before he stood up straight once more, the tips of his ears burning such a bright red that it was impossible for either man to ignore.  

“Um,” Shen Qingqiu lost the ability to process for a good five seconds before he said with a bright smile that made his entire being glow with pure happiness, “sure.”

[mirai-eats]

Rewind and Start Over:: Morning

Bingqiu, rated M, 5,677 words, part 1/6, Incomplete 

Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, re-transmigration, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rating May Change

Modern science is so good it kept a dead man alive.

Shen Yuan is dragged forward but his feet are stubbornly digging in the ground. Luo Binghe is running as fast as he can to catch up.

read on AO3

Inhale. A mechanical beep rang muffled in his ears. Exhale. There was an unnatural chill to his skin.

Inhale. The room smelled like chemicals. Exhale. His mouth tasted like ash, stuffed with cotton too deep down his throat to the point it burns.

Inhale. It took all of his willpower to make his finger twitch. Exhale. 

---

An error message had blared across his mind’s eye during afternoon tea. The System suddenly awakened after almost a year of hibernation with a dozen pop up screens and flashing warning messages. He tried to shift through them but all he got from the glitching screens was that there was a serious problem. As soon as it started it all stopped, and one screen blinked in front of all the glitching windows, simply saying [Thank you for using the System! We hope to see you again soon!]

Before he could fully comprehend what it meant, a sharp pain overtook him and with a gasp, he felt the all too familiar tug of his soul exiting his body. The last thing he heard as his vision fizzled out to glowing long lines of code was the sound of a teacup shattering and Lou Binghe’s startled “Shizun!”

---

Fourteen months. For the twelve years he spent as Shen Qingqiu, his body had laid comatose in a hospital, an empty shell with no soul to host it and yet thanks to modern technology, his body was still breathing artificial air and his heart was still beating artificial pumps. Science refused to accept death, chasing immortality as a cultivator would. 

It took him a while to actually wake up, but during his brief spells of consciousness he would hear the voices of his family coming in and out, voices he hadn’t heard in twelve long years. They’d only been whispers of them left in his dreams and he’d woken up with his heart in his throat and his eyes burning with Luo Binghe tucked under his chin.

When he did finally manage to pull himself out of the pool of sleep, blinking his sticky eyes open, he wanted to shield his eyes to the dim lamp sitting at his bedside and the electronic time of the TV mounted on the wall reading it was a little after three in the morning. He fell back to sleep.

---

The System was silent. No matter how much prodding he did it’s mechanical voice never whirred to life in his head.

---

He was officially discharged after a month. He needed physical therapy to get his limbs back in order and psychological therapy to deal with the “depression”. Maybe he was depressed, he was depressed after being pulled from his home away from his family and friends back to his old family and friends. He didn’t dare speak a word about his time transmigrating into the shitty stallion novel during the therapy sessions if they knew they’d cart him off to a very different hospital. He couldn’t bring himself to feel anything but painful longing, a numbing sadness filling his limbs with faux filling. 

Shen Yuan was happy to see his family again, to see his two older brothers and younger sister, his mother’s sweet eyes and his dad’s gentle smile. He cried when he saw them once more for the first time in many years. It was a year to them, but a whole lifetime to him. 

How could he be okay going back to this wretched modern world where he was nothing but a nobody who mooched off his parents’ fortune, spending his days crassly reading novels and hoarding collections of waifu material and spent the nights tucked into his phone reading raunchy novels and manhua until he couldn’t keep his eyes open only to rinse and repeat bright and early the next day at two in the afternoon? He had been an immortal peak lord! A revered shizun with many disciples in the path of cultivation! He had a husband who loved him dearly and he back.

He had heard his parents whispering sharply to one another about Shen Yuan just going back to wasting their money away on more anime figures, living in an apartment paid for by their money and eating food paid from the allowance they gave him, growing grosser and uglier by the day.

---

Because he had been comatose for so long his stuff had been moved from his apartment and either crammed in a storage unit or back into his old bedroom at his parents’ house. He needed to be under surveillance until he was able to walk down the stairs on his own without pausing to take a break. Right now he could do nothing but rest and recover. 

He went back to reading web novels, sank deeper into a Shen Yuan shaped hole in his bed, the LED screen of his phone reflecting off his glasses until his vision blurred and he fell asleep. He had found fanart of Luo Binghe, the face too square and eyes too narrow, the demon mark not quite the correct shape, and the slim shape of his mouth a little too cunning to be his Binghe, but he still set it as his lock screen. 

Airplane Shooting Toward the Sky had passed away while Shen Yuan was in the coma. Found dead in his apartment after a neighbor reported the foul odor seeping through the cracks in the walls and the landlord found the decaying body slumped over on the floor. Death by electrocution, the news article said. Proud Immortal Demon Way will never be complete. 

Meanwhile, Shen Yuan progressed splendidly in his physical therapy and stumped his psychological therapist. There was nothing to say. He was sad, unmotivated to do anything at all besides sink back into his homebody self, pull his head back into the tortoiseshell cage he grew himself. He couldn’t tell the therapist why he was sad. He was prescribed antidepressants. They might have helped.

—-

He took walks, as instructed by his physical therapist, and ate lots of protein.

He wondered if he died again if he’ll be transported back to Proud Immortal Demon Way, die vehemently cursing it until he’s taken back into the novel. But who’s to know if he’ll be put back where he left off, or if he’ll start over and make a whole new timeline? What about his Luo Binghe?

What if he only died?

—-

He was going stir crazy. Before, a lifestyle of him living in his bedroom with nothing but his PC setup and an incredibly powerful WiFi connection would be the dream. Now he found himself unable to look at his computer for too long, his phone left behind more often than not. 

—-

He had bought a fan, a cheap one that was beautiful, but the plastic was made to look like wood. The bottom of the fabric was already fraying a bit, but the beautiful cranes and chrysanthemum had caught his eye. He would keep it in his hoodie pocket, or tucked under a pillow. Sometimes he’d snap it open and shut, open again, then shut, alone in his room with his eyes on the faraway mountain peak. He tapped his own head. 

He googled how to kill himself in the least painful manner, but Google gave him suicide prevention hotlines instead. He couldn’t self-destruct like the second time nor does he wish to take a dick so massive with so little prep it kills him like the third, but he wants to die quickly and painlessly. 

Then again, will it work? His family will mourn again, but he was the third son and they had two much more reliable sons. 

—-

There had been a movement not too long ago in China to bring back the traditional flowing Chinese hanfu to everyday wear. He ordered some robes online, exquisite silky white with trims of green, bamboo embroidered on the hems and sleeves, a matching headpiece tied with a pale green ribbon. 

Before his coma, his hair had been relatively short with just a swoosh of bangs where at its longest would sometimes tickle the collar of his shirt to indicate it was time to get a trim. Now it had grown shaggy and long past his shoulders. His mother scheduled an appointment to get him a haircut. He didn’t go. He got a green scrunchie to tie his hair half up in a weak imitation of how Shen Qingqiu wore it, but messy and not at all graceful.

He stopped taking his antidepressants. He tries to drown himself in the bathtub with a cinderblock on his chest. The overwhelming pressure of the cement block was nothing compared to the pain in his heart, his lungs screamed for air and his chest lurched and twitched, attempting to throw his body up out of the clear water and save his life. He fought as much as he could until one particularly powerful jerk rolled him over and pulled him gasping and heaving from the tub, water overflowing and flooding the bathroom. 

After hanging off the edge of the tub trying to catch his breath, he stood up and cleaned the bathroom. The physical ache of the cinder block digging deep into his ribs left a dark bruise on his chest that took over a week to fade. 

—-

His parents were worried, his mother especially. They sent him away to a relatives estate out in the country, thinking the pollution and noise, the crowds and overbearing presence of everything, was too much for him and a nice trip in the mountains would relax him. 

It didn’t. He couldn’t bear to ever go outside his little room, the house old in style with the curves roofs and bamboo furniture hand made by his aunt. There was a bamboo forest outside his window. The blinds were firmly shut the whole time. 

His uncle tried taking him out on short walks. He went once and refused to go again. There was no WiFi here so he settled to lay on the porch and watched the summer roses sway while eating his aunt’s pickled vegetables. 

He didn’t last a week before he begged his parents to take him home. He couldn’t stand the misty peaks, the bamboo forest,  the thin, clear air that reminded him so much of home. He couldn’t live like this, crying himself to sleep every night and crying himself awake every morning and crying to nothing tucked under his blankets during the afternoon heat. 

---

He stood in front of his mirror dressed in actual clothes and not sweaty and grimy anime shirts, no weak imitation cultivation robes. A pale green button-down with the short sleeves rolled up, a pair of slim-cut black jeans, beige boots with the laces were done up nice. His hair was neatly tied back. 

Later that afternoon he came home with a job down at a local department store. 

The next day he stood high atop the office building his brother worked in, the wind whipping past him ferociously. He closed his eyes and remembered his self-destruction to save his ass from being turned into a human stick. He was gone before he fell. If he fell now he would feel the fear coursing through him, making his last moment the longest moment of his life.

His breath caught in his throat when he looked down, his sneakers toeing the edge of the concrete border. A strong gust of wind can make him lose his footing. The fall was almost a hundred stories down.

He stepped down and went back down the stairwell. 

---

He quit therapy, and physical therapy was finishing up. He passed with flying colors and was deemed fine to go about his business as usual, but to come back once a month for check-ins for the next six months. He re-enrolled back into his university and was accepted for the upcoming semester. 

There were more phone numbers than ever in his contact list thanks to his nice coworkers who genuinely wanted to spend time with him outside of work, send him funny memes related to conversations they held whispering behind racks of clothes when the manager wasn’t looking nor when a customer was tracking them down. His feet ached from all the standing he did, his back hurt, and it took every ounce of his Shen Qingqiu patience not to bodily throw himself over the counter and strangle the next customer who asks after they’ve paid if there are any additional discounts they could add. 

---

Sun Mei is a coworker of his with hair she’s styled like the California beach waves and wore a bold red lip. There was a beauty mark on her forehead and she was instantly drawn to Shen Yuan’s side when he first stuttered over to the register during his first week. She took him under her wing and showed him the ropes and was usually first on the scene when a customer was giving him a hard time. He couldn’t help be drawn to her because her favorite lipstick is the exact shade of red as Binghe’s demon mark. 

She asked him to get coffee sometime. He agreed. Pre-transmigration Shen Yuan would have been over the moon, now he was just grateful he could have another distraction from nighttime eyes that still illuminate his dreams with the star-like tears. 

---

Luo Binghe hadn’t come to his dreams. He’s always haunting his dreams, his lips like the softest rose petals tracing his bare skin and rough, large hands tenderly stroking up and down his arms, tracing his clavicle and counting down his ribs. He was a memory, a whisper of what he truly his. Shen Yuan’s hands always messed up the mirage whenever he tried to touch him back. 

There were countless nights where his hands would unconsciously trace down his body and under the band of his pajama pants and grasp himself firmly in his hand, slowly bringing himself to completion with his eyes firmly shut, Luo Binghe playing on a constant loops behind his closed lids and Luo Binghe’s name dripping from his trembling lips, his trembling body arching toward Luo  Binghe’s body that was so, so far away. He only cried sometimes when he opened his eyes and found the blank ceiling above him and not Luo Binghe’s bottomless eyes.

It happened less often, him waking up with tears dried on his cheeks and pillow. He didn’t know if it’s a good or bad thing. Sometimes when he was doing the most mundane things he truly dangerous thoughts ran across his mind- was any of that real in the first place? Was that just a really intense coma dream? He had “died” cursing Proud Immortal Demon Way, so what’s the chance of it playing over again so realistically for fourteen months?

He still had the Luo Binghe lock screen. 

---

One of his coworkers also liked reading web novels to the same intensity as he (had). During after-hours recovery, they’ll have heated discussions about novels and tried to thrust recommendations upon each other. They had each other’s forums usernames and he was the only person he physically knew who had his Twitter. 

During one such closing shift, the lights in the store half on and buried deep in the clearance rack did his coworker recommend Proud Immortal Demon Way. 

“It’s really, really long and there’s a lot of pandering, but the protagonist is pretty OP,” his coworker explained. “So many cute sisters to choose from! And it’s such a twist seeing the protagonist going from the common hero to a black-hearted demon, justifiably so.”

“I’ve read it,” Shen Yuan said. He showed off his lock screen. “Luo Binghe is my favorite.”

Even with strings sawing away at his heart, pulling taut enough to cut it to shreds with just a little more pressure, he still participated in the discussion. After work, he sat in his car in the parking garage and cried until he gathered himself together, cranked up Hatsune Miku, and drove home recklessly. 

---

It had been nine months since he woke up from his transmigration coma and started his first day of school. There was a nervousness he hadn’t felt in forever, a tingling to his scalp and his heart danced an uncomfortable rhythm in his chest. His hair was tied back at the nape of his neck in a messy bun, his glasses were brand new with an up to date prescription (a whole new frame style too, going away of his old rectangle plastic frames for a more stylish horn-rimmed shape). He was much shorter than Shen Qingqiu, he figured the top of his head would barely brush Luo Binghe’s shoulder. He had on new clothes he and his sister went out shopping for- nice fitting jeans rolled up at the cuffs, a light army jacket, a simple striped shirt, new sneakers that still smelled the new shoe rubbery smell. The cheap fan was tucked away in his backpack.

He felt daring going out with his ankles bare, then he remembered this is the modern world. He can go out with his whole leg bared and no one would bat an eye. He rolled them back down when he got in his car. 

The classes were interesting, the professors genuinely enjoyed their subjects and were energetic for the new semester. He found a spot he liked on campus, a hidden bamboo grove he remembered the tour guide had mentioned offhand during his original campus tour. There was a stone bench and that’s where he ate the lunch he bought at an on-campus sandwich shop. He might have cried. 

---

Shen Yuan found it uncomfortably easy to fall into a rhythm of school and work. The few people he’d met since he reverse-transmigrated could probably be considered as more than acquaintances but less than friends. On most days he would have someone to share a meal or go get coffee with, sometimes it was just sitting in the school library doing their work together.

Sun Mei went to his school. She was in a whole different department and thus their paths rarely crossed, but at least once a week they would have a break that lined up just right for them to go sit at the campus cafe and do homework together. She asked him once if he wanted to go to a party a friend of hers was hosting, tucking an artificial curl behind her ear. He declined.

There was a mid-autumn festival on campus. Sun Mei asked him out for the event with a couple of other coworkers. He agreed to go. At the event they had food stalls set up, live music, games, and little wares sold to commemorate the day. Lanterns illuminated the night and for a heart-stopping second Luo Binghe traced the edges of his mind. He shoved him way back deep, deep down into a little box he crafted just for him to sit.

A stand sold hand-painted paper fans, much nicer than the one that had lost a screw in his backpack and held together by scotch tape. He let his eyes linger on them, his fingers traced the intricate paintings on the delicate surfaces. One looked oh so similar to his favorite one- a simple white fan with deep, nearly black wood and watercolor bamboo. It was a little expensive, but it’s a price he’s willing to pay for art. This one, he promised, will stay in his room so it wouldn’t get damaged. 

The rest of the event was pleasant. He ate plenty of mooncakes and other delicious sweets. Luo Binghe’s mooncakes were much better.

At one point in the evening, he did a double-take while passing a stall, there on the table were little porcelain figures of animals. Particularly, a little, black, Pomeranian with its pink tongue peeking out caught his eye. It was a little ugly, but it’s big, round eyes tempted Shen Yuan to pull out his wallet and purchase the damn thing. 

That night, he placed the tiny Bingpup on his windowsill next to his paper fan, the big, beautiful autumn moon throwing his room into a decadent silver.

---

He moved out of his parents’ house and back into an apartment t. Most of his merch was kept in storage or in his childhood bedroom, but the Asuna body pillow moved with him to the new place. A simple one-bedroom with a kitchen and bath, a balcony that overlooked the city and laid a walking distance from campus (an uncomfortably long walk, but a walk nonetheless) and a few blocks from his work. He furnished it with his last apartment’s furniture and even took the time to go out and hunt for more pieces to build an actual home and not the nerd nest he made before. The bookcase was towering with books, he had a nice coffee table and matching mugs. There was a wall scroll of a beautiful watercolor bamboo forest hanging from his wall. The Bingpup rested on his nightstand that was the same wood as his desk, dresser, and bed frame. He commissioned an artist online to draw his version of Luo Binghe, the eyes softer and glittering with a thousand stars, his cheeks were tastefully angular, the shade of red for his demon mark exactly right. It was yet it wasn’t Luo Binghe because he’s starting to doubt that his version ever actually existed or if he was still dreaming of a canon-divergent storyline. The picture was framed on his desk. 

Su Mei came over with a few other coworkers for a house warming. They brought beer and snacks and someone had brought out a Bluetooth speaker to play ambient music. He was not supposed to have a lot of alcohol due to his delicate body, his frame a flimsy bamboo shoot compared to the lofty, full-grown stock of Shen Qingqiu, but he still had a few beers too fast and found himself throwing up, Su Mei holding his hair back as he sobbed into the toilet. He thought he heard Luo Binghe’s name slip from his lips, but the rest of his words never made it past his garbled tongue. The next morning he woke up stiff, his mouth tasting sour, and only a slight headache. He stayed in bed all day rereading the beginning of Proud Immortal Demon Way and cried himself to sleep after eating his one meal that day- cup noodles and leftover guacamole. No chips, just the guac he spoon-fed into his mouth. 

He felt he might have kissed Su Mei. There had been lipstick smeared at the corner of his mouth.

—-

Midterms came. He’s never been so stressed out in so long in this specific way. Yes, he had run from his life, been locked in the Huan Hua Palace water prison, found himself chased by blind corpses while dragging an unconscious Luo Binghe behind, had the worst anal sex ever to save the world. Sitting in front of his monitor, eyes tearing up behind his glasses and hands twitching, numb from overwork as he tried to write his analysis paper on old American poetry and its significance at almost four in the morning because it’s due in six hours and he still needed a little bit of sleep made him doubt if everything in Proud Immortal Demon Way could ever hurt like this. Why couldn’t he have the perfect immortal body of Shen Qingqiu where he could not eat and sleep for so long? That would be perfect right now, no need to spend his already meager paycheck on large cups of coffee. His doctor had warned him against large doses of caffeine, but his aching body told him no. 

—- 

After a majority of his midterms were done, he fell ill with the flu. Curse his weakened body. 

—-

He applied to study abroad in America for a year. He wouldn’t hear back until February. He’s smart, he knows he’ll get in. In the meantime, he brushed up on his English by investing time in American TV, movies, novels, and music. It was a neon-bright culture with a gritty feeling in his teeth, the exact opposite of his Xianxia novels and his old Xianxia lifestyle. 

If Luo Binghe, all of Qing Jing Peak, Cang Qiong Mountain and its disciples, were truly just a feverish dream he was crazy. If that was really real than he had abandoned his husband (unintentionally!).

It was getting harder to tell as time blended together in a seamless chalked out blur. He nestled himself back into his life as Shen Yuan- or rather, his new life as Shen Yuan. Maybe his twelve years as Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu really changed him

His brother made a point to mention one day over lunch.

“You’re more responsible,” he said, stirring his coffee. “Before you were locked up in your apartment all day reading novels and manhuas and watching donghuas and spending your allowance on useless things.”

He didn’t say anything, his eyes tracing the leaves of his salad. “It’s a little scary how your disposition changed so drastically, but perhaps its for the better. You’re going to America for a year you say?”

Shen Yuan nodded. “I’m setting aside money from my paycheck to pay for expenses while I’m there.”

“No girlfriend yet?”

He nearly choked on a crouton. Of course, I don’t! I have a husband! Is what he wanted to say. “No, I’m still focusing on recovery and getting used to balancing school and work.” And I’m married!

… right?

---

It’s been exactly a year since he woke up from his coma and there was no sign of Luo Binghe sweeping in through his bedroom window and taking him back.

---

Su Mei asked him out a third time. They went to a popular movie and got a nice dinner after. She slid her hand across the table and tapped his with her pink painted nails.

“I want to put a label on us,” she said, her cheeks red.

What label? They’re friends, right?

The look of confusion gave away his thoughts. “I want,” she continued. “To be your girlfriend.”

Taking in her unnaturally curly dark hair, the red lips in an achingly familiar shade of red, dark eyes framed with mascara laden lashes, the black scoop neck shirt with a thin, silver necklace she always wore. It hurts. 

He’s married. 

He gave her the same spiel he gave his brother, paid his part of the bill, and walked out. She didn’t text him goodnight as she always did. 

---

Midterms blended into a calm before the storm and then he suddenly had four exams, three monster papers, and three presentations due in a span of a week. Work was piling on the hours and his days were growing so mundane he’d stopped crying himself to sleep at night as he was too tired to spend it wasting what little energy he had left. The Luo Binghe lock screen was turned into a pretty picture of a sunset he took from the library window. 

There was a desperate hope at first that Luo Binghe would find him again, he always did. The days simply continued to wear on as he fell back into being Shen Yuan, or a newer Shen Yuan his parents were much more approving of. They were no longer worried about him being depressed, as he’s managed to bury the sadness away into a chest deep in his heart. 

He put on the cultivation robes (fake, itchy) and sat at his low coffee table with a cheap tea set he bought and served himself tea, the little Bingpup stared up at him from the other side of the table with big, glittering eyes. He flickered open the bamboo fan and hid his face behind it. 

---

He got accepted to study abroad in Los Angeles for a year. His parents easily paid the tuition and boarding fees. His sister bought him a nice set of luggage. 

---

The crane and chrysanthemum fan he kept with him at all times broke completely. Instead of throwing it away he tossed it in a desk drawer.

---

His hair had reached past his shoulders. It was easily tied back into a knot at the nape of his neck, or in a neat ponytail when he needed to clean up. He collected clips to pin back the loose strands when he found himself hunched over his monitor for long hours or with a nose buried in a book. It will never, ever be as long as Shen Qingqiu’s long mane of hair, tracing his knees as he walked and whispering around his arms. 

On a day off he went to a barbershop and got it all chopped off. It was long enough to donate. He did so and walked out with a weight off his shoulders and a needle-like pain in his chest. 

---

His brother came over and helped him clean up his apartment a little bit. He tossed out the broken fan. Shen Yuan didn’t realize until he opened up his desk drawer a week later looking for a stapler and found it meticulously organized, the scrapped fan long gone.

---

He got himself a betta fish, black and sleek like an ink splot in his tank. He named the fish Bingmei. 

---

Bingmei died.

---

During a break from school, he took a weekend off from work and went back to his relative’s house in the mountains. This time, he forced himself to appreciate the whispering bamboo forest, the misty mountain peaks, the tranquil silence that was muted by the pitched hum of the city. He took up piano playing again, tapping the keys awkwardly as if he was six years old again and his mother made him go to be more proactive with his life besides staying home after school every day and watching cartoons and reading comic books. His older cousin could play and she helped him get back on track, his fingers stiff on the keys and his wrists cramping from disuse. He taught himself a song he knew Luo Binghe loved him to play for him on the guqin. It tasted different. 

He went home after the break and let his lungs fill with smog once again. He went to a music store and bought a cheap electric keyboard and continued to practice in his spare time. He would always start with that song Luo Binghe liked so much.

---

The fingers he used to caress the monochrome piano keys were used to finger himself wide open, face pressed into his pillow and ass arching up into his hand. Nothing will ever be as big as Luo Binghe unless he wanted to spend a small fortune on one of those embarrassingly large dildos and honestly, he didn’t have a face thick enough to order something like that. Even if he had one in his cart with a credit card held out in his hand ready to type in the numbers, his hand still led him to exit the page and tuck his card back in his wallet. He never touched himself often, maybe once or twice a month the pressure will get too much, a weight shaped like Luo Binghe was only relieved for maybe three seconds at the peak of his orgasm when his name traced his lips like a lullaby.

---

As much as he was letting go of Luo Binghe and everything to do with Proud Immortal Demon Way, Luo Binghe always found a way to nestle back into his chest cavity, make a home amongst his ribs and laid back against his lungs, his curls tickled his throat and his sticky, sticky arms wrapped around his whole heart. 

---

The rhythm broke with a crack, a little over a year and a half after he returned to his world.

A literal crack. 

He came home from class, one of his last classes before finals kicked in and was going to head to his bedroom and take a quick nap before he had to close at work when he heard a deafening crack echo from his bedroom. He quietly sat down his backpack, a scraping and muted thump followed. He grabbed the umbrella he had by the door as quietly as he could, stepped with care into his apartment. He had his phone out with 1-1-0 already dialed, thumb hovering to hit call at a moment’s notice. A muffled voice sent a lurch from his feet to his throat. He isn’t the powerful immortal cultivator Shen Qingqiu, he can die! Well, Shen Qingqiu did die a few times (oops), but he’s still hard to kill! Not Shen Yuan in his soft, mortal body with fragile bones, paper-thin skin, and a heart so delicate only Luo Binghe’s metaphorical glass heart could be compared. He didn’t have a spare body laying around to launch his soul into nor does he have the System to swoop in and save his ass again with a magic reboot. Once he’s dead, he’s dead.

Shen Yuan stuck close to the hallway wall and tried to peak through the crack in his door. From this angle, he couldn’t see anything. There wasn’t a sound at all and Shen Qingqiu started to lower his umbrella thinking it might have just been a loud neighbor when a definite rustle of clothes could be heard from his room. He tried to back up quickly, smart enough to know that this is something the cops should deal with not him! 

He stumbled and fell flat on his ass, the air pulled from his lungs with a sharp gasp. His phone clattered loudly to the ground, screen dark, and the umbrella nailing the hallway wall. Oh no, oh no, oh no the intruder would have definitely heard him!

The door was thrown open and for a half a second all Shen Yuan saw was a dark blur before he pushed his glasses back up his nose, bringing the intruder into full 20/20 focus. Whatever breath he had left in his body left with a sharp gasp.

“Binghe?!”

[delicioussshame]

*Insert disgusted sound effect here* Here’s a new part.

Luo Binghe is starting to get anxious.

The sixth day of their cohabitation is about to end, and Laoshi is only starting to look better. Sleep and decent food did wonders for him, but he’s still too slim. It’s to be expected, of course. Years of deprivation and stress don’t fade away that easily, but as long as Shen-laoshi remains here, he’ll get better. Luo Binghe will make it so.

Shen-laoshi likes being here, too. Luo Binghe can tell. They had always gotten along famously. From the very beginning, Shen-laoshi had been kind, granting him the attention he so craved without reserve. Their exchanges had always been fun and informative, tinted with affection.

They still are. Luo Binghe has seen no sign of Shen-laoshi hiding boredom or discomfort when they chatted aimlessly, or watched a movie, or took a walk together. He bets Shen-laoshi has missed regular human contact as much as Luo Binghe had missed him. He doesn’t want to go, Luo Binghe is sure of it.

But will he admit it?

It’s all he would have to do. If he said he wanted to stay, Luo Binghe would keep him here forever.

He might not. Shen-laoshi has always had pride and, above all, decency. Tomorrow, he might pack his bag, thank Luo Binghe for all he did and return to that hovel he called an apartment, unwilling to intrude on his benefactor any longer. It is what they had agreed for, after all.

Luo Binghe can’t let him go, but he can’t trap him here either. Shen-laoshi would resent him if Luo Binghe tried, and he’s not sure he could survive his teacher’s enmity.

He tried to offer all he could without overwhelming the other half of his soul, but he can only do so much when Shen-laoshi is so demure.

Still, the idea that at the same time tomorrow, Shen-laoshi might not be resting in bed beside him is intolerable.

Shen-laoshi is right here, isn’t he? If he’s going to leave tomorrow, why not at least request what Luo Binghe has implied he would ask for?

He bites his lips, trying to keep his mind on track. If that backfired on him, it might push Shen-laoshi away, never to come back.

Then again, Luo Binghe is almost certain that if he managed to get Shen-laoshi to drop his defenses long enough for him to touch him as he’d been dreaming of since he was fifteen and dazzled by the discovery of his true love, he could convince him that intimacy was nothing to be afraid of. He might even be able to seduce him into allowing repeat performances, turning their parody of courtship into something so close to reality it might as well be it.

But if he leaves tomorrow, it’s all for naught.

Luo Binghe almost flinches when he feels Shen-laoshi’s hand under his, warm from the blankets. He hadn’t even realised that in his desperation, he had reached for the one he longed for, both so near and yet so inaccessible.

He stops breathing when fingers curl between his. He hasn’t dared this much before, but if Shen-laoshi isn’t pushing him away… “Laoshi?”

Shen-laoshi is turned away from him, but he doesn’t take his hand back. “…Yes?”

“Please stay. If you’re missing anything, anything at all, say the word and I’ll arrange for it, so long as you’re still here to welcome me back when I come home.” What does he have to lose at this point? He might as well ask. Shen-laoshi has always been weak to his requests.

Shen-laoshi sighs. “Binghe has already offered everything I might need. Does he understand how confusing this all is for me? Binghe shows up in my office, all righteous anger and… adult demands. Then he doesn’t act on it, and ends up begging like a child for his old teacher not to leave. The last thing I’d want is to hurt him, but I have no idea how to react. Does Binghe even know what he wants from me?”

Luo Binghe knows. He can barely remember life before he found his true purpose. He’s just not sure Shen-laoshi is ready to face his honesty just yet. Then again, maybe he doesn’t really have a choice anymore. His preferred scenarios haven’t unfolded; Shen-laoshi hadn’t been overwhelmed by lust for him, and neither had he confessed that he knew their relationship ran deeper than that of a teacher and his student’s, even his favorite one. He hasn’t even taken advantage of what Luo Binghe had been more than willing to pay for, surrounding himself in luxury until returning to his apartment would have been too unappealing to contemplate. Instead, he did as Luo Binghe asked him: he considered his time here as a vacation, nice but bound to end, leaving nothing but memories behind.

Maybe Luo Binghe was a fool, to expect his beloved Shen-laoshi to understand his real motivations. “I do. I just want Shen-laoshi. In my bed, of course, but also in my house, by my side, talking to me, waking him with me, as my date at corporate events, anytime.” As my husband and mine alone. “I want him to be healthy and happy, now. Not in months of him slowly warming up to my advances, not after he started another year of work that will grind him down to dust, not after he finally collapses under too much weight. For that goal, I’m willing to sacrifice propriety, and to push him forward faster than he might like. I’m sure he’ll thank me for it later.” For good measure, he tightens his hold on Shen-laoshi’s hand.

Shen-laoshi turns toward him, incredulity on his face. “Binghe, what? You’re a young man, and we all know young men have done stupid things when they’ve let their hormones lead them, but that’s just ridiculous. Even if you think you had… a crush on me when you were a child, you should have outgrown that years ago.”

Please. Luo Binghe’s affection for his teacher isn’t a dumb crush. No one outgrows true love. “If Laoshi thinks I’m just confused, then he should stay here until I realise that. If he leaves, I’ll always pine for what could have been.” There. Nice and simple.

“But… Binghe…”

“Stay. For yourself, if not for me. You like being here. I like having you here. Why deprive yourself of what has been freely offered? That wouldn’t be logical.” And because he cannot really reveal himself more than he already has, he lifts his other hand to Shen-laoshi’s cheek. “Or maybe Laoshi would allow me to prove how I care for him in other ways?”

As expected, Shen-laoshi flushes. Luo Binghe can feel its heat under his fingers. “Please?” He crawls closer, unable to stop himself.

“Binghe…”

Luo Binghe is now close enough he can feel Shen Yuan breathing on his face. “Let me?”

“I… Just this once.”

Luo Binghe nods, too uncertain to speak. This time, when he presses his lips to his teacher’s, he does so tenderly, reining in hid desire as much as possible.

Shen-laoshi doesn’t resist. He opens up slowly, warily, to Luo Binghe.

No matter how giggly he is inside, he can let none of it show. Instead, he presses himself to Shen-laoshi, cradles his face as he keeps kissing him without urgency, until he can feel some of the tension leaving his teacher’s body.

He pushes back as far as he can stomach, a few centimeters. “Laoshi is doing well?”

“Don’t call me that now! How is that proper!”

Luo Binghe grins. If that is his first priority, he’s not too shocked. “May Shen Yuan forgives me, then. What does he want in apology? I can suggest a few things.”

“Binghe!”

Why is Shen-laoshi’s consternation so endearing? For a moment, Luo Binghe wants to do something even more outrageous just to keep that look on his face.

Instead, he kisses him again.

It does get Shen-laoshi to calm down a bit. “Well? How did Shen Yuan enjoy it? Does he believe me now? Or does he need more convincing?” As if the way he’d slipped under his shirt left any doubt about his intentions.

Shen-laoshi twists away under his touch.

Luo Binghe could groan, but he diligently takes his hand back. The way things had been going, he really thought he had a chance.

Instead, he wraps an arm around Shen-laoshi’s waist and plasters himself to him. Hopefully Shen-laoshi will gracefully ignore what should be ignored. “Can I at least hold him to sleep? This close, I might be able to protect your dreams.”

Shen-laoshi loses some of his earlier relaxation, but he doesn’t try to escape. “Were my teachings bad, for this student of mine to think he could do such a thing?”

Shen-laoshi’s lack of refusal is enough to fill him with joy. “I do know for a fact that Shen Yuan’s presence is enough to ensure my dreams will be sweet, so why couldn’t the opposite also be true?”

Luo Binghe closes his eyes to ward himself from the sight that is Shen-laoshi’s renewed embarrassment. If he starts things up again, he won’t be able to stop himself this time. The last thing he wants is for Shen-laoshi to take his implicit approval back.

But still, he hasn’t heard what he most wants to hear yet. “So Shen-laoshi will stay, right?” He makes sure to accompany his request with the widest, wettest, most pleading eyes he can manage.

He hides his mirth when Shen Yuan visibly flinches. “Ah… Binghe, I’m still not sure I should.”

Luo Binghe forges on. “But he will?”

Long, heavy silence, before a sigh. “As long as Binghe is good.”

“I’m always good for Laoshi.” He could be so much better, too, if Shen Yuan let him.

Luo Binghe thrills when Shen-laoshi’s light slap fades into what is almost a caress, as he settles a strand of Luo Binghe’s abundant hair back into place. “Liar.”

Luo Binghe doesn’t deny it.