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theserpentsadvocate · 1 year ago

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Five Women Who Never Loved Brandir Son of Handir

Uhhh... so I've been sitting on this one forever, I don't know why. Enjoy my original author's note:

Five things fic, because I wanted to. This is the third five things fic I’ve started, but the first one I’ve finished. (Besides, the Handir one has sort of mushroomed into this weird 5+2 format and I don’t know if it even qualifies anymore.) So, until I finish Five Things That Never Happened To Nienor Daughter Of Hurin and Five Ways Handir Son Of Haldir Could Have Survived The Nirnaeth Arnoediad (And What Would Have Happened If He Hadn’t), have Five Women Who Never Loved Brandir Son Of Handir. Unapologetic shippy fluff, OCs, and odd pairings ahead. Well, odd pairing.

Niniel

It’s spring when she comes to him and takes his hand and at first he doesn’t think anything of it because that’s what she does.

Then there’s a movement of her thumb against the back of his hand and when he looks up she blushes, though her eyes don’t skitter away, and he’s never seen her blush before, and everything changes.

There’s a nervousness in the way she bites softly at one side of her lip, and Niniel isn’t nervous – she gets along well enough normally, but she doesn’t have that sense of embarrassment other people do. She doesn’t fidget. She doesn’t blush.

But her face is flushed, and he wants to raise a hand and brush it against her cheek. He doesn’t.

Her smile is hesitant, and he’s never seen that before either. There are a lot of things he’s never seen.

“I think,” she says, and the smile still edges around the corners of her lips, “that maybe you love me.”

“Maybe,” he says blankly, and although his lips feel numb his voice comes hoarse from his throat.

“I think,” she says, “that maybe I love you.”

Maybe? he means to say, but there’s no sound. The smile dances back and forth across her face, barely there but clear enough.

“I don’t know a lot about love.” It’s half apology. “I can’t remember ever loving anyone.”

And maybe she doesn’t know enough, not to choose. He doesn’t think it really, wouldn’t think it if she’d chosen elsewhere, but he’s used to cutting back, turning away, making endless small sacrifices because that’s what he does, that’s what’s necessary, because his happiness is always second. That’s what it is to be chieftain, to be healer, to be –

To choose happiness is selfish, surely. It’s always felt that way.

“That’s all right,” he says, voice rough as if he’s swallowed a roomful of smoke. “We’ll learn together.”

Moriel

Brandir knows Hariel a little, though she and her family live outside of the Ephel. She’s a trapper and her son’s a woodsman who knows his game so they come to trade. Her daughter’s never come.

“We brought her,” Moriel’s brother says, blunt but apologetic. “I would have come ahead to tell you but Onda wanted me with her. I’m better for calming her down.”

“They’re not fits of emotion,” the girl says clearly. It surprises Brandir; she’s kept her eyes down this whole time, shy or nervous. He can see now she’s a bit older than he thought, maybe only a few years shy of his own age of twenty-five. The shyness, combined with her delicate looks, had thrown him off by six or eight years.

“Getting upset never gets you breathing better,” Aradir points out.

That doesn’t help much. “Hariel mentioned you didn’t travel because of this ailment,” Brandir says, voice friendly and neutral.

“The dust makes the fits come on,” she tells him straightforwardly. “The dogs can’t come inside the house anymore or it happens. I can’t run at all. Sometimes if I get very upset,” she allows, although she quite pointedly doesn’t look at her brother.

She doesn’t look at Brandir either, eyes fixed on her lap, though her voice is far too firm to put it down to shyness. He’s had people avoid his gaze before, but never avoid looking at him entirely. Is it so disturbing –

No. He has a patient.

“Flowers in spring?” he asks.

“Eh, sometimes,” she says. “It used to be fine. I didn’t start sneezing like Aradir. But now it seems like I move and I start wheezing.”

“It wasn’t always like this,” her brother says, more matter-of-fact than worried. “But she started getting ‘em when she was near ten year, they just weren’t so bad then.”

“Sometimes I think I’m going to die,” Moriel says. “The air just won’t go in. It’s worrisome.”

If she’d looked at him even once since they’d come through his door, he would like her for that. It’s worrisome.

“I can examine you,” he tells her. “But I think I know already. I can’t cure it, but I can give you medicine for when it happens. You’ll have to put it in boiling water and breathe in the smoke.”

“Good thing there’s always water on the boil,” Aradir comments. Brandir pushes up from his chair, trying not to notice that Moriel turns her head away while he arranges his crutch.

“I’ll fetch you some,” he says. “But I’ll have to prepare more.”

He left the door open as he puts together a packet and after a few moments hears Moriel whisper harshly to her brother, “That’s the chieftain’s son?” He swallows hard.

“What about him?”

There’s a soft thwack. “You never warned me he was handsome.”

Brandir almost drops his entire bundle of dried herbs on the floor. He swallows hard and fixes the crumpled leaves properly inside the cloth packet and then makes himself walk back through the door before he loses his nerve. It feels a little like the world’s turned sideways.

He’s never been handsome before.

“You’d better keep these with you,” he says. His voice is too brisk, but he forces himself to look at her. “About half what’s in the packet in a pot of hot water, to ease your breathing. I can make up something that will make the attacks less likely, but they’ll still happen.”

“But we don’t really know for certain if this works yet,” Moriel says diffidently. She meets his eyes, briefly, and then her gaze skitters around the room before she focusses somewhere just above his left shoulder. Her entire manner seems very different. “On me, I mean. I probably shouldn’t risk an attack somewhere with no hot water anyway, until I’m a bit better.”

“That’s probably wise.” His voice sounds even, which is a marvel considering all he can really think about is that Moriel herself is very pretty and surely she’s had practice speaking to all sorts of men?

“Then I guess I shouldn’t leave just yet.” She forces her eyes back to his and smiles a little awkwardly, but her voice is more confident. “I suppose I’ll have to stay a while.”

“Ah,” Brandir says articulately.

Moriel’s brother grumbles something under his breath, and she kicks him.

Lalaith

The dog doesn’t really look like a dog, but it’s clearly an animal of some kind. That doesn’t feel like much of an achievement, when his father’s birds are so detailed that you can identify the species even when they’re not the same size as real ones, but it’s… something.

Nienor plops down beside him, all carefree eight years of her. “What’s that?”

“It’s just a… thing,” Brandir says, setting it down.

“Lemme see.” She picks it up.

“It’s supposed to be a dog. It’s not very good…”

“I like it,” Nienor says decisively, putting it down again. “You should give it to my sister. She has all kinds of animals Labadal made her, but she doesn’t have a dog. Only wild animals.” She frowns. “Maybe there’s a wolf.”

“I’m sure your sister would be nice enough to accept it,” Brandir says, cringing at the thought of his rough effort next to that of a lifelong carpenter, “but it’s really not good. My father does much better.”

“I bet she’d like it,” Nienor says. “She likes you.”

“I know.” Urwen likes everyone. And everyone likes her, but she isn’t conceited about it.

“Don’t you like her?”

Brandir frowns. “Of course I like her. She’s very nice.”

“Then why haven’t you given her flowers or something? Girls like flowers from boys they like.” She frowns back at him in consideration. “You’re kind of a boy. You’re younger than Turin. Maybe you’re too old to give her flowers. You should give her a necklace or something. Or the dog.” She brightened. “Can you make a necklace out of wood? Or a bracelet? Do you think you’ll get married? Naneth wasn’t that much older than Lalaith when she got married. If you get married, can I be – ?”

Finally Brandir manages to drag his internal organs back into his chest from wherever they’ve disappeared to and stop her by waving his hands in the air in front of her face. It’s not very polite, but he’s having difficulty with words.

“That is not what I meant,” he says finally, as calmly as he can manage. “I like your sister. And I like you, and I like your father, and I like…” He hesitates. Morwen always makes him feel deficient, like he’s broken, not just damaged.

“Oh.” Nienor stares at the ground. “She’ll be sad.”

Brandir wants to argue with her – clearly she misunderstood her sister the same way she misunderstood him – but he can’t think what he should say first.

“Maybe you could like her?” Nienor suggests hopefully. “She’s really pretty, you know. And nice. And she knows lots of funny stories –”

“Why don’t you keep the dog?” Brandir says loudly. ��Go on, I don’t mind.”

Nienor looks hurt – she hates being talked down to – but she takes the thing sullenly and sulks off, pouting, without saying anything else. Brandir slides down off his hillock and leans back against it, rubbing his hands over his face. Urwen is pretty and nice, and he likes her stories. And he really, really doesn’t want her to feel sorry for him, which she would if she heard about this conversation.

“I guess…”

He jerks upright. Lalaith is standing there, smiling a little sadly. “I guess things are different in Brethil.”

“A little,” Brandir says, feeling his heart shrivel up inside his chest. “Were you looking for Nienor?”

“She ran off towards the house,” she says. “I guess Mother doesn’t need me to fetch her anymore.”

“She said you had a whole bunch of little animals,” he offers lamely.

Urwen nods. “From Sador.”

Sador. Not Labadal.

“I guess… when Haladin girls want to be sweethearts with a boy, they just…” She makes a vague motion signifying action.

“I… yes, I think so…” He wouldn’t really know how it goes. He ought to stand up, while she’s standing, but his walking stick is too far to reach and he doesn’t want her to see the kind of hobbling he’s reduced to when he doesn’t have it.

“Turin told me about… um, I think it was Bariel…?”

“They don’t usually punch anyone in the face!” Brandir exclaims, humiliation momentarily forgotten. “That’s very unusual!”

Urwen smiles. “I don’t want to punch you in the face,” she says.

“I don’t want to punch anyone in the face,” he responds without thinking. Her expression shifts a bit, but she smiles again with effort.

“Right. I just thought maybe it was… Nienor was embarrassing you, but… well, I guess I was being silly. I’ll just…” She turns to leave.

“Wait, wait,” Brandir says, reaching out for her arm. It’s too far up and he gets a handful of the skirt of her pretty yellow dress instead. It’s soft. She’s a little bit like the dress, and that sounds stupid even in his head. “I can’t… um, I can’t…” He can feel himself going red. “Get up.” Just when he was thinking he hadn’t been humiliated after all. He can’t look at her.

“Oh…” She turns and fetches his crutch for him. His face is still burning when she hands it to him but instead of making some excuse and hurrying away she sits down next to him. After a little while he gets up the courage to look at her again. She smiles.

“I do still like flowers better than wooden bracelets,” she says.

Daerwen

His first duty, after burying his father, had been to bear his condolences to the families of the other fallen warriors. There had been a great many.

It shamed him to think that he couldn’t remember most of those meetings clearly, but it was true. Even those who had been angry, insulting, reaching out for someone to blame and striking close to the places that would truly cause pain – ‘And where we you, safe at home?’ ‘How could you understand, you’re no warrior!’ ‘Do you think to purchase my support, thus?’ – blurred together enough that they, and their suffering, were no individual, distinct entities in his mind.

He should have done better by them than that.

“You probably don’t remember me,” the woman by the fireside said. She smiled, but sadly.

“I do,” Brandir told her. “Daerwen.” He refrained from listing her husband’s name, although they both knew that must be how he thought of her. He’d meant to hold the bereaved in his mind as people, to remember their sorrow, their anger or guilt or acceptance – instead, he’d only managed to catalogue them by their dead. Daerwen’s husband had been Harlas, a spearman, and he’d bled out during the retreat, but all he remembered of her was that she hadn’t screamed or thrown him out of her house.

“You are kin to Aradis, I think,” he said to break the silence. They could have been merely friends, of course, but there was a strong resemblance in Daerwen to Aradis’s grandson.

“She was married to a cousin of my father’s,” Daerwen said, faultlessly polite. There was something in her quiet manner that put him in mind of his mother, so he imagined there was steel underneath. “Though not a close one.”

That meant that Aradis’s dead daughter was Daerwen’s kinswoman and agemate. If she’d ever had children with Harlas, they likely would have played with Mireth’s orphaned son.

“How unfortunate,” he said, meeting her eyes steadily so she would know him sincere. “I am afraid such losses are common.”

“Certainly.” She peered into the soup-pot, and, apparently satisfied, rose and came to sit nearer him. “I stifle, the way no one ever mentions it. But I suppose it is different for you.”

He looked at her cautiously. The last time he’d been in this house, Aradis had tried to throw him out, but ended by weeping so hard he’d had to hold her bodily from the floor. She seemed to hold no animosity or embarrassment, only worry over her grandson’s injury, but he could never be quite sure of his reception in such places.

“Having no time to grieve, I mean,” Daerwen said. She gave him that smile again, sad and half-yearning but not melancholic.

“And yet I did anyway,” Brandir said, “somehow. It was greatly against my judgement but I fear I could not do otherwise.”

Her smile spread a little, deepening, and lost some of its bittersweet quality. He only got a brief glance before she turned her face towards her lap. “It must have lost its hold on you, if you can say such things.”

“I –” It was necessary he be able to speak without tears or the suggestion they might be coming. “I still miss my father very much, and very frequently. But certainly I am no longer prevented from… going onwards in my life.” Was she unable to do so? At least she wished to, which was a good sign.

“I wonder if… you could put it that way to Aradis? Going onwards. It sounds much… friendlier than the words she uses when I mention hovering less over her grandson.” Her jaw clenched. “Or that I would like to marry again.”

“I think,” he told her seriously, “that you are admirable. And I shall do my best, although I cannot meddle if she has no wish for my help.”

“Of course not,” Daerwen told him. “And I want to thank you. Just hearing someone say it’s not wrong to want to move past him… it’s a comfort. I knew that –” She stopped.

“If you need help – not just interference, but advice or conversation – I am not so far away.” He’d made the offer many times in the last year, although it wasn’t frequently accepted. “You are always welcome, as long as you can find me.”

“Thank you.” There was a pause. He could hear Aradis descending the steps in the other room. Daerwen smiled a little. “I knew that you were the right choice.”

Nienor

The envoy leaves in two days.

It shouldn’t matter quite so much – things have been as productive as they can be, when Dor-lomin’s new leader has somewhat unreasonable expectations – but it does.

Brandir silently and emphatically calls himself a fool.

“Why the stormclouds?”

He laughs despite himself, although he’s startled Nienor managed to approach without his knowing. “The storm clouds?”

She shrugs, leaning against the side of his house. “Aerin used to say that when I was small. I fought with my mother… well, often. ‘Stormclouds’ was kinder than ‘royal sulk’, I suppose.”

“Are you accusing me of sulking?” He takes care to smile, both to dispel the impression and to avoid giving offense.

“No. I only wondered.”

“’An acorn for your thoughts’, we say here.” He gestures to the step. “You’re welcome to sit.”

Instead, she straddles end of the log he’s sitting on. Brandir turns to face her. She’s wearing a split skirt, and he can see she has leggings beneath it.

“An acorn for your thoughts.”

He shrugs. “Just wool-gathering.”

“They seem like unhappy sheep.”

That makes him smile. “Just heavy ones.”

Nienor frowns. “Wouldn’t that be a good thing? More wool? Or warmer?”

“I have a great number of responsibilities,” he offers, half-amused and half-exasperated.

“I suppose.” She sounds thoughtful. “When I first came, I thought you were a strange man by way of a leader.”

Brandir keeps his voice carefully neutral. He’s not sure what to think. “Did you?”

“I haven’t known many,” she acknowledges. “Just my brother, I suppose, and Brodda.” The thunderhead that crosses her face at that name is formidable. “But people still talk about my father. And there’s the Elf-king, I suppose.”

“The king of Doriath.”

“He as well.” He should have known she’d meant Fingon. The People of Hador were married to the Noldor. “Living, dead, good, bad… they all loved war, or their own authority, or both.”

Cautiously, Brandir ventures, “I never heard that Hurin son of Galdor loved either.”

“Didn’t you?” She sounds surprised. “No one ever speaks of him but the words ‘mighty warrior’ follow.”

“I grant you that,” he says, “easily! But a man may fight like the whirlwind and still bear no love for war. My father always spoke of his kinsman as a young man more in love with a jest and a song than with battle.”

She startles. “I suppose I knew they would have known each other – but I never think of it.” There’s silence for a moment. “When we first met, I thought you weak,” she says slowly. “Now, I think of going back to being surrounded by men who think strength is a sword-arm or the ability to command by force and I cannot think well of it.”

“I have always heard your brother a good man,” he says, although that isn’t entirely true. He’s heard nothing of Turin son of Hurin’s character – only his fighting prowess.

“He is,” Nienor says, almost sadly. “And he is an able leader, although I cannot say if he is a good one.”

That she makes a difference between the two strikes him forcibly, and both her discernment and the hint of praise hiding in the shadow of her words cause his heart to beat distractingly.

“But he’s what he was made,” she says simply. “I don’t know what kind of life it was, hunting orcs through the woods – but I sat in the Easterlings’ hall, and I have no love left for masterful men.”

The sadness of that – a reunion that is but a continuance of the separation – moves Brandir profoundly. He reaches for her hand, to offer what comfort he can, but as their fingers touch she raises her gaze to his, and it takes all his will not to freeze and thus betray himself.

“I have performed my duty to my brother well here, I think,” she says, forcing a ghost of a smile. “I will bear it out and bring back word – and then, I think, it will be done. And then perhaps – ” she glances so quickly at his hand over hers that he almost doesn’t see it, “then perhaps I may return.”

A/N: I wrote parts 1-4 Way Too Long Ago, and then finally finished it, I don’t know, two years back and immediately forgot that I’d finished it. So… Here it is now? Requisite notes:

1. Turin doesn’t exist. He never existed. The story still happened the same way up to this point because, well, it did. Or, Niniel blew him off because he was being really horrible to her friend. Or, he’s off living in a cave somewhere. Or similar. Whatever you like to imagine. :)

2. Handir is still alive and in charge here, obviously. He won’t die for about five more years per canon. Moriel has asthma (as you may have guessed). I described her in my notes once as being a ‘delicate princess with the soul of a drill sergeant’ which essentially means that not only will she fight you, but if you argue back you will look like an asshole. I like to think that when Turin arrives in Brethil she’s also pregnant, and Dorlas’s attempt to use him to unseat Brandir completely dies under the strength of Heavily Pregnant Woman Having An Asthma Attack Because Of You.

3. Some happy (or happier) AU or other where Brethil/Dor-lomin kids are fostered back and forth. Brandir’s staying with Hurin’s family. He and Lalaith are both sixteen. (I put in a backwards-math hint with Nienor’s age and then remembered that not everyone in the entire world has gone and memorized their age differences.)

4. Obviously the shippy part comes later. (Whoops, I guess it’s not all fluff.) But there’s a nice grounding of respect and friendliness and understanding and with a relationship that grows slowly out of that and out of shared grief and especially when accompanied by a dead spouse and requisite baggage (on one side) and political responsibility – and baggage! – (on the other) is going to, well, grow slowly, so the point that I don’t think a snippet from anywhere but much later would even look that much like a romantic relationship, even after it was one. Anyway. I may come back and poke this idea later and I may not.

5. Turin retook Dor-lomin, obviously. Nienor is the head of his envoy to Brethil. (His ‘unreasonable expectations’ are military support that would leave the Haladin with very precarious defenses; Brandir is sending supplies to rebuild and offers of trading instead.) A line I wanted to use but in the end couldn’t fit in: “Aerin, my mother… they all lived in Dor-lomin before the Easterlings came. They call it home, but for me, there’s nothing there but bad memories.”

#tolkien #brandir #brandir son of handir #nienor #my own work #fanfic #lalaith #misc men #silmarillion #unfinished tales #children of hurin #'onda' is my made-up casual term for 'mother' in the haladin's language #since moriel and her brother live farther away from the ephel and haven't been sindarized as much

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athalien · 3 years ago

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🔥Javier Peña Fic List🔥

Masterlist

Being updated by writers

Better Love (If I Fall) — @disgruntledspacedad

You’re my best friend — @autumnleaves1991-blog

What’s it going to take — @hopeevenonthisside

Funtimes in babylon — @qveenbvtch

Woman — @steeeeeeeviebb

Hermosa — keala

Woman of always — leelee2890

Come unto me — @javier-djarin

Don’t look and it won’t Hurt — @mourningbirds1

Mary Magdalene — @itssmashedavo

An angel within the chaos — @justanotherblonde23

Adore you — @perropascal

Curriculum vitae — @tiffdawg

Jump then fall — @knivesareout

Illicit limerence — @echo-hiraeth

Ghosts — @unstoppableforcce

Scenes of a marriage — @pedropascaldice

Finished

Angel eyes — @mandoalorian

With our child — @kingsmanandqueens

Like a hook into an eye — @ariespedro

Lawful good — @javierpenaspinkshirt

Waterfall inquiry — @filthybookworm

Texas Sun — @massivecolorspygiant

Pobrecito — @ohheyitsokay

What’s the use of wonderin — @youvebeenlivingfictional

Teach me tonight — @storiesofthefandomlovers

Leave us here — @halfwaythereroyal

The same coin — @bestintheparsec

It’s fine but only with you — @nikkixostan

Tis the damn season — @thishintoflove

Paperclips — @damerondjarin

Angels of mercy — @maharani-radha-writes

Play pretend — @the-purity-pen

And they were wallmates — @thosewickedlovelies

Adore you — @perropascal

Thunderstorm — @jollyrancher87

A good man — @forever-rogue

Odd man out — @ladylibby

Fine line — @pedrothirst

Fools — shaqbutt

@xwing-baby

New opportunity

Impulse

@themangolorian

Just come home

Look how long this love can hold its breath

@dindjarindiaries

Collide

Break your heart

Pretty please

@cptnbvcks

Dial tone

Dripping

@tweedlydumbtweedlydoo

Trouble trouble

A long lunch

@longitud-de-onda

Deal

Un veneno

Mistakes like this

On a universal constant, falling off the bottom of the earth

@songsformonkeys

Desperate means

The third wheel

@hiscyarika

Marry me

When we were young

@justrunamok

Acts of service

Temporary stand-in

@danniburgh

Rushingly bittersweet

One shot

@babypedrito

Spanish teacher Javi

Girl next door

@absurdthirst

Deseos profundos

Celos

@queenofthefaceless

A tu manera

Bad guy

Lay it on me

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javi x reader #pedro pascal #agent peña #narcos #javi #narcos x reader #narcos fanfic #fanfiction

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rae-gar-targaryen · 4 years ago

Note

Do you have recommendations for your favorite Ezra fic on here? Yours is so good!

Oh my god, yes. Where do I start???? Let me just say that my list is not exhaustive. If you write for Ezra and don't see yourself on here, I'm not intentionally leaving you out! I am always looking for more to read, so PLEASE tag me in your stuff/send it to me. I'd love to be your newest reader!

💜✨🌿Please go forth and enjoy these -- the writers worked REALLY hard on them and they're all incredible. and if you like what you read, drop them a comment or a reblog. Let them know you love their stuff. Ezra is such a tough character to get a great grasp on and to really write well, but his innocuous past makes it all the more fun to play in his world, and each of these writers do it SO perfectly.🌿✨💜

In no particular order:

1. @cinewhore -- "the architecture of murder" is an incredible feat of fiction in and of itself. Tish did an incredible job creating such a rich, cohesive, HOT story. (Pssst -- and she's turning it into a screenplay! Talk about TALENT!) She has written other Ezra pieces. Check them ALL, you won't be sorry!

2. @hdlynn -- "A Kiss of Light" is art professor!AU Ezra and is *chef's kiss* the tone of this one is so great, it reads like one of the southern gothic novels we know canon Ezra would read.

3. @qveenbvtch -- "Wretched & Divine." Eryn has posted the prologue and it is the most dreamy, indulgent, resplendent regency!AU Ezra you could ever want. You're in good hands with any of Eryn's work.

4. @artemiseamoon -- LITERALLY ANYTHING she writes is picture perfect Ezra hotness. I have worked my way through her masterlist. Trust me when I say one specific recommendation doesn't do her justice-- read EVERYTHING.

5. @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa is writing an Ezra AU in the KRCU (my obnoxious moniker for the "Katryn Romcom Cinematic Universe"). It's an AU of the Swan Princess AND Annihilation, and is called "Far Longer Than Forever." Peep her "fltf inspo" tag and get INSPIRED for some dreamy Ezra.

6. @fleetwoodmactshirt -- her Ezra HC's are UNPARALLELED. Seriously, with as much literary love and knowledge as fleetwood has, you better believe she has her thumb right on the pulse that IS Ezra. Her "walk on the wild side" is pure, pithy, sexy, fun Ezra.

7. @jangofctts -- "An Elegy to the Void" may be the hottest Ezra I've ever read. It's 11k of Ezra goodness you won't be sorry you read.

8. @di-kut wrote this 16k sex pollen Ezra called "Fairy Dust" that I have to say I re-read more than I probably should admit. It's beautiful, a little angsty, hot as all hell and is just so on-pitch Ezra.

9. @moriamithril -- Kenzie's Ezra (nocuous, love within solitude) is some of my favorite I've EVER read. Her grasp on Ezra's voice is UNPARALLELED. You're in good hands with anything Kenzie writes, and I believe she moved her Ezra stuff over to AO3.

10. @longitud-de-onda has an Ezra x tattoo artist!reader that is a regular re-read for me.

11. @concussed-to-pieces "Of Gorgons and Gardens" is technically Ezra x reader x Din Djarin, but is some of the most fun I've ever had with a fic. It's hot as f*ck and everyone is so in-character, and it's one I just relish. They have other Ezra, as well. It's all amazing.

I also wanna mention: @secretpajamas @absurdthirst @mrpascals @pettyprocrastination @teaofpeach @corvueros

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT/REBLOG to add to this list because I know I didn't get everyone, and I'm so, so sorry for that. I hope you enjoy what is here, nonexhaustive list and all!

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hiscyarika · 4 years ago

Note

I hope it’s okay for me to think of my own word for you to write... hmm let’s say SOUL! Please write about Din, the reader and baby yoda with the word soul in it! Thanks!!! ❤️✨🥺

Word Count: ~900

Pairing: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Reader

Prompt: “Soul”

Warning(s): None

A/N: Hey! This has been sitting in my inbox for a while, so sorry for the wait. But I finally had a scene strike me and I wrote it out in this little drabble today. I hope you enjoy! Thanks for sending this in! 💕

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—

You’re alone when you wake in bed.

Fighting your bleary vision and the urge to just close your eyes again, you reach over to Din’s side of the bed, sighing softly when you find that the sheets have long since gone cold. This isn’t an abnormal occurrence. You just wish that your riduur would allow himself to sleep in sometimes.

You push yourself up and force your eyes open. As you rub away the last dregs of sleep, you notice that it’s a little earlier than even Din would normally get up. The sun has just barely climbed above the horizon, golden rays only beginning to break through the blues and purples of the early dawn. You shake your head, standing and listening for a moment. Perhaps the child woke early and could not be soothed back to sleep. Somehow Din always manages to keep the little one from waking you before you’re ready.

You shiver as your bare feet hit the cold floor, and you reach over to grab the robe you keep near the bed. You pull it on as you walk out of the bedroom, heading first to the neighboring room where Grogu sleeps. At least, that’s where he sleeps on nights that he doesn’t climb between you and Din. You certainly don’t mind when he does. As you come to the doorway though, you immediately see that the room is empty. Your riduur is nowhere to be seen, and Grogu is not sleeping soundly in the wooden crib that Din built for him not long after you settled here.

You hum softly in amusement as it occurs to you that the two of them are likely in the kitchen. The little one never seems to be full, constantly snacking on whatever he can get his tiny claws around. But even as your feet pad quietly in that direction, you hear nothing. Not Din’s gentle murmurs or Grogu’s hums and coos. The cottage is silent.

When you don’t find your riduur or your ad’ika in the kitchen either, you find yourself a bit panicked. Your heart starts to beat faster in your chest, and you move much faster through the cottage trying to find the two of them. You call their names, hoping that maybe one of them will answer, but there is no response. And in your head, you know that they’re around somewhere, that there’s nothing wrong and neither of them are in danger, but you still can’t help the way that fear grips you. You’ve spent too much of your life fighting and on the run for your body to accept the things your mind knows logically to be true.

You don’t even slip on a pair of shoes before you step out the front door. The grass is soft and wet beneath your feet, but you pay it no mind as you look around. It doesn’t take you but a second or two to spot them.

Din sits in the grass with Grogu in his lap, several yards away from the cottage. From your distance, you can see the little one pointing towards the treeline, and when you look, you see a few small, antlered creatures just on the edge of the trees. You let out a heavy breath, glad to see that the two of them are safe. The anxiety in your chest is immediately replaced by a sense of warmth and peace at the sight.

Quietly, you walk towards the pair, cautious in your movements so that you don’t scare the creatures away. Din is the first to notice your presence. He goes quiet, no longer murmuring softly to Grogu, and instead he turns to face you, eyes soft and gaze gentle as he looks at you. Silently, he opens his arm to you, and you don’t hesitate to oblige. Even though the morning dew immediately dampens your robe, you sit comfortably next to him, soothed by his warmth and his close proximity.

He presses a soft kiss to your temple. “Good morning, cyarika,” he says quietly, his fingers trailing gently up and down your arm as he holds you to him.

“Good morning, my love,” you murmur, turning to kiss his cheek. “It took me a while to find you,” you tell him, though not at all to scold him.

He chuckles softly. “The kid got up with the sun and then saw these from out the window. I thought I’d bring him out to watch while you got some extra sleep,” he says, nodding in the direction of the antlered creatures. “He’s done surprisingly well at keeping quiet.”

Hearing the acknowledgement, Grogu looks up at both of you, smiling and quickly clambering out of Din’s lap to instead settle himself in yours. You smile brightly, holding the little one close. “Good morning to you too,” you tell him, gently stroking one of his ears. He pulls excitedly at your own, laughing softly as he points to the creatures, trying to get you to look at them.

You giggle quietly, still minding your volume. “Yes, my little love. I see them. They’re beautiful, aren’t they?,” you ask, watching as the smallest one bends its neck down to graze. Grogu quiets in your lap again and you lean a bit heavier into Din’s side. “This is nice,” you whisper to him.

“Yes it is,” Din agrees in a soft, reverent murmur. You take in a slow, deep breath, humming in contentment as you exhale. This peaceful moment is one that you want to absorb and immortalize in your memory. It’s a perfect picture of what you’ve fought so hard for all your life. And now, your soul can rest easy.

---

Permanent Tags: @bestintheparsec @hail-doodles @aerynwrites @murdermewithbooks @themangolorian @longitud-de-onda @readsalot73 @lovingtheway @talesfromtheguild @mystical-934 @tiffdawg @lokiaddicted @adikaofmandalore @blue-space-porgs @forever-rogue @hansoulo @fleurdemiel145 @cable-kenobi @opheliaelysia @pedropascalito @creamysacrilege @bandofmarvels @paryl @phoenixhalliwell @agentmoonshine1 @randomness501 @starlight-starwrites @keeper0fthestars @stilllivindue2spite @hdlynn @theocatkov @coonflix @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @wickedfrsgrl @frietiemeloen @liadamerondjarin @pancakefancake @someplace-darker @dontjudgemedude @mistermiraclee @shortof-amarble @kaetastic @chrisbostonevans @mrpascals @f0rever15elf @themandadlorianbod @din-damn-djarin @knittingqueen13 @oloreaa @hayley-the-comet @seasonschange-butpeopledont @lydiascottage @lv7867 @littlevodika @myguiltypleasures21 @chicken-ona-stick @girl-obsessed-with-things @disgruntledspacedad @hugmekenobi

The Mandalorian Tags: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @adlerorzel-blog @mrsparknuts @deputytrash @lola-wolf @sunkissed-winter

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin #din djarin x reader #grogu

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bestintheparsec · 4 years ago

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Lauren’s Favorite Fics of 2020

The year is almost over! So I thought I’d make this post instead of a winter follow forever sort of thing. First off I want to say that this is by no means an exhaustive list; I can’t include every single fic I’ve read this year or else I would (all fics I’ve read are on my fic rec blog, @bestintheparsec-reads) - there are so many amazing writers on this website and I’m so grateful for all your works and the effort you put into writing/sharing them, especially this year.

These are the fics that I’ve come back to time and time again and have a special place on my shelf of favorites - they’ve personally brought me comfort or many emotions or both. I’ve read all of these 2-3 times at the very least and have loved/commented on them already, so I tried to keep this concise or we’d be here forever 😂

**in no particular order except alphabetical by URL

Din Djarin

✧ Trust is a Fragile Thing by @aerynwrites

✧ “Kiss” oneshot by @forever-rogue

✧ Always Kiss Me Goodnight by @fromthedeskoftheraven

✧ Vaar’tur, Solace, No Living Thing, The Last Stand, and this drabble by @hiscyarika because apparently Abigail’s Din owns me

✧ Ka’ra (series) and Atlas by @haildoodles-writing

✧ You Promised by @murdermewithbooks

Javier Peña

✧ This Unspoken Thing by @aerynwrites

✧ Please Don’t Leave by @forever-rogue

✧ Landslide (series) by @hiscyarika

✧ Cold Mornings and Hot Tea by @mrpascals

✧ Crystal Clear (series), Better, Now That You’re Here, and Don’t Pull Away by @murdermewithbooks

Frankie Morales

✧ Summer by @dindjarindiaries

✧ “It’s Freezing Outside” oneshot and Christmas Trees and Picky Bees by @forever-rogue

✧ Fear and Trust by @keeper0fthestars

✧ Just the Rushing Wind on a Rolling Mind by @longitud-de-onda

✧ There is No Other Love, Only Yours and Sanctuary by @mrpascals

✧ Golden Hour by @tiffdawg

Agent Whiskey

✧ Visions of Sugarplums and Kentucky Welcome by @fromthedeskoftheraven

✧ Till the End of Time by @haildoodles-writing

✧ My Love is a Dagger by @goldafterglow

✧ Spilling Wine in the Bathtub by @mrpascals

✧ Stardust by @scribbledghost

✧ Sugar and Spice by @writefightandflightclub

Oberyn Martell

✧ In Name Only (series) by @forever-rogue

✧ The Kings Who Are Gone by @hiscyarika

In addition, I wanted to send a big thank you to anyone who’s read my stuff or commented or reblogged or anything - I cherish every single one and I’m so thankful for the love!

#din djarin x reader #javier peña x reader #agent whiskey x reader #frankie morales x reader #oberyn martell x reader #ff #fic recs 2020 #i wanted to post this on christmas or christmas eve #but i know those days are gonna be chaos in the fandom so i didn't want this to get buried lol

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tiffdawg · 5 years ago

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F I C R E C L I S T

I am massively behind on my reading at the moment, especially when it comes to the multi-chapter stories that I follow, and it’s breaking my heart. So! I wanted to share some of my favorite fics to spread some love.

This list is organized by character and there’s a healthy mix of multi-chapter and oneshots. This is by no means an exhaustive list; I know I must’ve missed someone or some story that I loved but I tried my best to include the stories I’ve been reading lately.

I wanted to add descriptions and sing the praises of all of these authors but for the sake of brevity (can you tell I’m a little wordy??) I’m just going to list these out — just know that each stole a little piece of my heart with their story and I can’t recommend them enough!

... . ...

Din Djarin:

Migraine + Thin Walls by @leo-moon

The Lovely Moons by @vercopaanir

Pilot by @spookyold-saintjm

Just This Once by @aint-that-a-mcfreakin-bitch

Lots of Spice by @huliabitch

Healer by @bestintheparsec

Promise and Competition (ft. Boba Fett) by @auty-ren

Insatiable by @velvetmel0n

Nox and Lessons by @bobaandthefetts

Mandalorian Oneshots by @forever-rogue

Javier Peña:

Look How Long This Love Can Hold Its Breath and The Book by @themandjalorian

Paperclips by @nathan-bateman

Like a Hook Into an Eye by @ariespedro

Deal by @longitud-de-onda

Marry Me by @hiscyarika

Lawful Good by @javierpenaspinkshirt

Dripping by @cptnbvcks

Agent Whiskey:

Tied Up in a Bow by @huliabitch

Beware of the Dogs by @ariespedro

Modern Art by @mandadoration

Tomorrow Can Wait by @scribbledghost

Need You Now by @hiscyarika

Frankie Morales:

Pragma by @softpedropascal

Querencia by @spookyold-saintjm

Ezra:

Shattered by @qveenbvtch

Maxwell Lord:

Honey and Velvet by @forever-rogue

A Gilded Lie by @madadlorian

... . ...

I’ll try to update this list from time to time, but you can always scroll through my #fic rec tag to find more amazing stories!

Lots of love, Tiff 💕

#fic rec #din djarin #the mandalorian #javier peña #narcos #agent whiskey #kingsman: the golden circle #frankie morales #triple frontier #ezra (prospect)#prospect #maxwell lord #wonder woman 1984 #reader insert

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castillodeleon · 3 years ago

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QUICK FACTS:

LEGAL NAME: Sebastián Nicolás Castillo De Leon

NICKNAMES: Seb, Sebbie, Bastián

DOB/AGE:March 9, 1979; 44Y/O

GENDER: Cis Male

PRONOUNS: He/Him

SEXUAL ID: Bisexual

HEIGHT: 5'9"

APPROXIMATE WEIGHT: 159 lbs.

LANGUAGES: English and Spanish

GLASSES/CONTACTS: Glasses and contacts

TATTOOS/PIERCINGS: one ear pierced, No tattoos

ALLERGIES: hay fever

OTHER HEALTH ISSUES/DISORDERS: anxiety/depression

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Hufflepuff

FAITH/RELIGION/PHILOSOPHY: Catholic

POSITIVE TRAITS (3): Loyal, Trusting, Kind/charitable

NEGATIVE TRAITS (3): stubborn, distrusting, not confident at times

HOBBIES & ACTIVITIES:

Meeting new people, traveling, eating, playing baseball

LIKES/FAVORITES:

foods/cuisine– South and Central American food

movie genres– comedy and action

flower– roses

snacks– Cheetos, carrots, blueberries, blackberries, chocolate

music genres– Top 40, Alternative, Blues, Jazz

season– Fall

book genre– Fiction, Fantasy

animal– dogs, cats

candy– Skittles and M&Ms

BIOGRAPHY (TW: Abandonment, homophobia)

Sebastián was born and raised in Villa Nueva, Guatemala. He is the oldest of three siblings and moved to California with his family when he was 17 years old. A senior in high school, he had a rough start in San Francisco having left behind all his friends and the only world he knew. However, his charm and sense of humor paved the way for a successful senior year where he met the people that would forever be in his life. Knowing from a young age that he was bisexual, Sebastián boldly came out to his parents when he was 12 and his father wasn’t exactly thrilled.

Living the majority of his adolescence trying to prove himself to the patriarch, Sebastián felt somewhere along the way that he had lost himself. He had fallen in love with a schoolmate that his father didn’t approve of, leaving him heart broken once the relationship was torn apart by his parents.. It was that experience and the fact that his parents constantly introduced him to women to marry that turned him away from the family he loved. Sebastián began focusing on his radio career after he became a DJ during his time in University, which he purposely chose on the other side of the map. In New York City, Sebastián’s career grew once he landed an intern position with Z100 after graduation. The intern position allowed him to learn more about the profession and he began to participate in segments as hosts. This caught the eyes and ears of La Onda radio, an all Latino radio station just next door and Sebastián began his career as one of the most well known radio DJs in the city.

This allowed him a life he never thought possible. Parties every night, meeting new people, going to concerts all over the country and some parts of the world. Sebastián felt on top and at the age of 32, he was offered his own programming back at home in California. This would come with a lot of heartache and tough decisions to make. He’d be closer to his sisters but back on the same side of the country where his parents resided. Even at 32, he felt dread in returning and three days away from leaving New York City forever, a knock on his door changed his life. Sitting in a small car seat was a newborn baby and a note. After reading it, Sebastián came to the realization he had a son and the mother, an Instagram model from Norway, wanted nothing to do with them.

After speaking with lawyers and having to reach out to his father, the family lawyer, Sebastián was able to file all necessary paperwork and pending DNA results and move to California with his baby. They’d have to navigate this new territory together. Partying days were over and Sebastián’s dad as a father and entertainment big shot were about to begin. Ten years later and he’s been able to maintain a healthy balance with the help of friends and his sisters but something was always missing. It wasn’t the parties, it wasn’t the hook ups. It was the connection he never gave himself the chance to feel after he parted with his high school sweetheart and when Sebastián discovered the latter had been married for over ten years, he knew it was time for him to do something for himself and also for his son. There was someone missing in their giant house and in their hearts and Sebastián was going to find that one way or another.

#( bio. Seb)

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xdestinyisall · 4 years ago

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𝕩𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕔𝕤𝕤'𝕤 𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣

Este fue un año muy difícil para todos nosotros, fue un cambio que claramente no estamos preparados y nos afecto en diferentes formas a cada uno de nosotros pero también quiero agradecer a este año porque me permitió volver a encontrar a muchas personas que no hablaba más y conocer a muchas nuevas que hicieron que ese año tuviera un poco de luz entre tanta oscuridad. Les deseo de todo corazón lo mejor para el siguiente año, que este llena de buena vibra, pensamientos positivos, y recuerden que siempre tenemos que luchar para salir adelante.

Estuve a punto de no hacer este follow forever pero lo quise hacer porque realmente quiero que sepan lo agradecida que estoy con cada uno de ustedes, no se que hubiera sido de mi vida si no los hubiera tenido en vida, se que estuve ausente un tiempo o inactiva pero he tratado de volver y agradezco a todos la gran comprensión que tuvieron, nuevamente. ¡Gracias por todo!

¡Felices fiestas!

ᴍʏ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴊᴏʏ, ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ. | @itstimetoroll

Trataré de no extenderme pero no puedo prometer nada. Por supuesto que tenías que ser la primera, sin ti, me hubiera del indie mucho tiempo atrás. ¿Por dónde puedo comenzar? Empezaré con el indie en general, Eres la alegría y la vida eterna de mi indie. Le das sol a mi indie y lo mantienes con vida, jamás podré nunca agradecerte por ser la mejor partner que he tenido. Me encanta absolutamente cada trama que tenemos (Y son más de cincuenta cosas que tenemos) me encanta que roleemos de todo, que tengamos de todo. Me emocionan mucho todo lo que tenemos, desde sobrenatural, época, superhéroes, dramas, en fin, de todo. Me fascina despertar diario y leer tus replies, me dan vida. Roleas precioso y con lleno de sentimiento. No tienes una idea de lo agradecida que estoy contigo por darme todo esto y por soportar mi gran inactividad que tuve unos meses pero ya volví con todo y no pienso irme a ningún lado. Amo todas nuestras ideas que se nos ocurren, que siempre surgen más y más tramas, en fin, amo todo y te agradezco infinito. Siempre estaré agradecida con Broken por darme una amiga tan especial que sin duda este año siento que nos unimos mucho más. Gracias por estar ahí para mí, por escucharme, por siempre ser un amor conmigo. Te quiero muchísimo.

ᴍʏ ʙɪɢ ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴇꜱꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇʀ. | @aliicns

Mi bella hermana, ¿Qué te puedo decir que no sepas ya? Sabes que mucho más allá que siempre traemos nuevas cosas o roleamos eres mucho más allá mi amiga. Me fascina poder hablar contigo, gracias por siempre escucharme y estar para mí. A pesar de tantos y tantos años aquí seguimos, te quiero muchísimo. Espero este año nuevo hablemos más y nos llenemos de muchas cosas con feelings ;)

ᴍʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴍᴀᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ, ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍʏ ɪᴅᴇᴀꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ. | @greatxpectations

Mi bella unicornio, me dio mucha alegría volver a reencontrarme contigo. Eres una persona que siempre he admirado porque siempre sabe lo que quiere, lo que desea y lucha por ello sin importar sus alrededores. Me fascina poder rolear y hablar contigo, a pesar de tantos años aquí seguimos. Gracias por estar aquí, sabes cuanto te quiero.

ᴍʏ ᴀᴄᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪᴄᴇ ɪɴ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴘʟᴏᴛꜱ, ᴍʏ ꜱᴜᴘᴇʀʜᴇʀᴏ ᴡʜᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛꜱ ᴍᴇ. | @ultimatexrunner

Siempre he sentido que te conocía en la otra vida o de años atrás (lo confieso) porque realmente embonamos desde el primer día que hablamos en Golden. Me encanta la gran imaginación que tienes, y los feelings, me llenas de tantas tramas tan hermosas. ¡Gracias por dejarme explorar mis personajes canon y uno que otro oc! Por un 2021 por más trama haha. tkm

ᴍʏ ᴠɪᴋɪɴɢ Qᴜᴇᴇɴ, ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ | @kattegvat

Mi reina vikinga, usted alimentó desde un inicio mis feelings desde el día uno. Me fascina de pies a cabeza como escribes, admiró mucho tu escritora. Siempre me emocionó demasiado cuando veo una reply tuya, es que son demasiado perfectas. Me encanta que tengamos gustos tan similares, seguro encontraremos hasta más cosas haha. tkm

ʟᴀᴜɢʜꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʟᴀɴꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴀᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ. | @vnderwatcr

Fuiste de mis primeras partners del indie cuando volví y me recibiste con los brazos abiertos. Eres una persona muy divertida y amable, siempre tienes buenas vibras y me encanta hablar contigo y rolear, espero vuelvas pronto porque te extraño muchísimo. Tkm

ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜱᴜʀᴘʀɪꜱᴇꜱ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʏᴇᴀʀ. | @stratuswrites

Agradezco mucho al 2020 porque nos conociéramos, me fascina rolear contigo. Amo cada una de nuestras tramas y los feelings que suceden pero también me fascina hablar contigo, eres una persona muy dulce, un solecito. Espero podamos seguir hablando y escribiendo por muchos más años. PD. Me encanta que estudies fotografía. tkm

ɢᴏᴏᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴜʀɪᴛʏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ. | @balapcrdida

Eres la bondad y alegría en persona, no sabes la alegría que proporcionas y lo buena onda que eres. Me fascina nuestros rols aunque me matan Jaclyn y Lydia, son demasiado tiernas kshd. Eres de las pocas me encanta rolear soft bcs eres una dulzura. Adoro hablar contigo, sabes que siempre tendrás una amiga por aquí, tkm

ᴍʏ ʙʀᴏᴀᴅᴡᴀʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ʟᴀᴜɢʜꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ. | @sinisteraugurey-archive

Gracias por ser tan dulce conmigo y darme uno de mis brotps favoritos de la vida, jamás imagine que amaría tanto a Sabrina y a Delphi pero lo hice, aunque te quiero mucho más a ti. Te extraño mucho, espero que vuelvas pronto :( además extraño nuestros audios de media hora hablando de la vida. Espero un día podamos ir a Broadway, tkm

ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜᴇʀ, ᴍʏ ᴊᴏʏ ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ. | @hecatechilds

TE EXTRAÑO, mucho. Eres de esas personas que no esperaba conocer pero me alegra el día cuando aparece como no tienes ideas. Me encanta nuestras tramas, desde the selection, harry potter, hasta the witcher. Gracias por dejar explorar a mi pequeña rubia consentida. Siempre te estaré esperando, tkm

ᴍʏ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴅɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ ᴄᴏᴜꜱɪɴ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴏᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍɪꜱꜱɪɴɢ. | @obliviatc

El instante que te conocí hicimos click, fue genial. Siempre amaré a Dominique x Rose, son las primas más hermosas que puedan existir. Se que lo que estudias es muy pesado pero siempre te voy a esperar and you know it, tkm

ᴍʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ, ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀᴇ. | @dochrcid

A pesar de que este año casi no hablamos, quiero que sepas que fuiste de mis primeras partners en mi otra vida del indie y siempre tendrás una parte muy especial en mi corazón, espero podamos hablar más, y planear cosas. ¡Se te extraña!

ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ, ɪɴ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ. | @lostxinstereo

¿Qué te puedo decir que no sepas ya? Te amo demasiado, después de años y años aquí estamos. No fue nada el mejor año para nosotras pero sabes que siempre contarás conmigo. Always and forever, nunca lo olvides.

ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴊᴏʏ ɪꜱ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ. | @viveetvivant @rperindie @regvlus-black @gravedadoasis @serialksser @angelicvante @zombics @adafiastri @awsteen @venencsa @anotherindie @rvmcnstxp @unbxlancxd @oldwxunds @unacquaints @tacltadete

Personitas hermosas con las que tengo la oportunidad y el gusto de poder tener tramas con todos ustedes, siempre estaré agradecida por las hermosas tramas que me dan.

ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʙᴇ ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ. | @avxllan @muggleguy @midnghtsvnx @dobbieisfree @tomsland @firstplane @brcinwcsher @mclancholyhill

Personitas con las que tuve la oportunidad de rolear y/o hablar alguna vez por alguna u otra razón no se encuentran más, espero algún día nos volvamos a encontrar o terminen por volver.

ʟᴇᴛ'ꜱ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ꜱᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ? | @rcvenking @glmcre @melcdramv @physic4l @piperhalliwclls @badgirldrunkbysix @alienigcna

Personitas con las que alguna vez tuve la oportunidad de rolear algo pero por una u otra razón no lo hacemos más. Espero alguna vez podamos volver a intentarlo, ten por seguro que estaría encantada.

ʜɪ! ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ! | @elsasfrozen @faceitxtiger @happinesbegins @mcllymavks @unvgi @breathxr @meinlieberherr @wastcland

Personitas que he visto en mi dash y se merecen un saludo, espero en algún futuro nos animemos hablar o tramar algún plot, ten por seguro que estaría encantada.

#( ╳┊❝ Follow Forever ❞. )#( ╳┊❝ happy tag ❞. )

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k-llama-llama · 4 years ago

Text

Naver

Everglow AU: 7th member

Mya/Enya x Everglow

Mya starts to trend for something she never expected.

A/N: ALSO CHECK OUT MY PATREON FOR ACCESS TO EXCLUSIVE CONTENT AND EARLY ACCESS (patreon.com/kllamallama)

Requests are OPEN!!!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“How much longer are you going to be?” Mia knocked on the door of the bathroom.

“Just a minute!” Mya hurried to knot her hair up under a towel. “It takes forever to wash my hair when it’s like this.” She explained as she opened the door. “I have like eight different shampoos.”

“But it looks so good.” Mia smiled. “Either way, I need to shower.”

“Go, ahead.” Mya stepped out of the bathroom, tying her robe closed around her. They were in the middle of the final stage of preparations for their comeback, so all of the girls were more stressed and frantic than usual. They were spending hours on skincare, watching their diets like crazy, and of course, practicing at all hours of the day. Which meant that the ten minutes Mya spent in the shower were the only truly calm moments she felt all day.

And the second she stepped back out into the living area, she was instantly bombarded by the chaos of their comeback.

“Mimi, have you seen my jade roller?” Yiren asked. “I need to do it before I go to bed.”

“I haven’t seen it.” Mya walked around to sit on the couch. “But I think mine is in my basket in the bathroom. You can use that.”

“Thanks!” Yiren walked over and started knocking on the bathroom door. “Mia! How much longer are you going to be?”

Mya snorted, laying down on the couch. They really needed a bigger apartment, or at least a better system of managing things.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Aisha walk into their bedroom.

“Can you grab my phone?” Mya called. “It’s just sitting on the nightstand.”

“Yeah, I’ll get it.” Mya squished herself down into the cushions, wondering if it would be frowned upon for her to fall asleep on the couch. At the very least, she should work up the energy to go put on her pajamas. But she really didn’t see that happening.

“You have a ton of notifications.” Aisha said, tossing the phone onto her. It landed right on her stomach with a thud.

“Is someone trying to call me?” She pushed herself up on her elbow, checking the notifications.

“It didn’t look like it?” Aisha leaned over the back of the couch. “What is it?”

The notifications were mostly texts, but it seemed like everyone was sending her the same link. She clicked on one sent from Yohan, opening to the Naver homepage. She blinked, trying to process what she saw.

“Are you kidding?” Aisha exclaimed. “That’s amazing!”

The top article on the celebrity section of the Naver homepage read ‘Everglow’s Enya steals attention for her incredible visuals’.

“I’ve never trended before.” Mya gasped. “I mean…when I joined the group a bit…but why would they…”

“Because you’re gorgeous!” Aisha grinned. “Click on th e article.”

Mya did, leading to an article with the concept photo they’d released yesterday as it’s header. She’d figured that the outfit would get some attention. It was a small, shiny black strapless dress and a pair of strappy knee high boots in the same fabric. It was tight, and actually showed off the few curves that she did have. And with her hair in its current style, it looked really cool.

But still, trending? That seemed like too much.

“Mimi, you need to read the comments on this thing!” Onda came out of her bedroom, phone in hand.

“You saw it too?” Mya groaned.

“Obviously!” Onda exclaimed. “Go read the comments.”

“Yeah, I want to see them too.”

With both girls leaning over her shoulder, Mya hit the comment section, going to read the ones with the most positive reactions.

Wow, her body is seriously out of this world.

Has she always been in Everglow? I think I would have been a fan before.

That hair really suits her.

Her features look so small.

“Okay, I didn’t get that much prettier.” Mya protested. “Why are they all just realizing it now?”

“Who cares, they think you’re pretty.” Aisha laughed. “Just be happy about it.”

“I can’t be happy about it, do you see how many people have texted me?” Mya closed the article, going back to her messages.

Kim Yohan: Aw look at you….all grown up.

Dongpyo: Since when are you that hot? I can’t believe you never told me.

Seungyoun: HAHAHAHAHA

Yuta: I found my new wallpaper.

“This is so stupid.” Mya groaned. “Why can’t we talk about Jiwon’s picture? Or your’s? Why does it have to be mine?”

“Because you’re so pretty!” Onda squealed, grabbing Mya head and giving it a hug. “Urgh, I’m so proud of you?”

“For being pretty?” Mya struggled to get the words out, considering she was being squished.

“Because when you joined the group you tried so hard to hide and now everyone is giving you attention.” Onda explained.

Mya smiled up at her. Since she’d joined the group, Onda had gone out of her way to make sure that she felt included. So even though she felt really weird with everyone talking about her photo, she didn’t have it in her heart to complain about it.

“I can’t wait until they see your next one.” Onda shook her shoulders excitedly. “Maybe we can make you trend for every single concept!”

“That feels like a lot.” Mya winced.

“Just think of it as you helping promote the group.” Aisha suggested. “You’re the face of the group for a little while.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Mya protested. “Yiren is face of the group. She’s way prettier and she’s…”

“Not the one trending right now.” Yiren emerged from the bathroom, running a jade roller over her face with one hand and checking her phone with the other. “Face it, Mimi. You’re famous.”

“Urgh, I don’t want to be.” She collapsed back into the cushions. “This is embarrassing.”

“The next step is for you to get all prettied up and post a selca to thank the fans.” Yiren prompted.

“Exactly.” Onda nodded. “Just really rub in how pretty you are.”

“Do I have to?” Mya groaned.

“Yes.” Aisha agreed. “So put on something other than a robe, maybe do some makeup, and then go take a picture.”

“But I just showered.” Mya begged. “I want to just be lazy for a while.”

“I’ll pick out your outfit.” Yiren hurried into the bedroom.

“I’ll do your makeup!” Onda clapped, completely ignoring her.

Mya glanced at Aisha as the other two hurried away. “Do you think I have time to escape?”

Aisha shook her head. “I wouldn’t try it.”

#everglow #everglow au #everglow imagines #everglow 7th member #female kpop #female member kpop #female!kpop #requests open #au #kpop #imagines #imagine #kpop au #kpop imagines #kpop imagine

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hopelikethemoon · 4 years ago

Text

Double Fill (Javier x Reader) [smut]

Title: Double Fill Rating: Explicit Length: 3000 Warnings: Smut (female receiving oral, over stimulation, hand jobs, anal play, double penetration with a toy and cock, cum play, cum eating, anal sex). Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set December 1997. Plot, what plot? This is just smut. Summary: Reader and Javier have a little fun.

Taglist: @grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @just-add-butter @snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @longitud-de-onda @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @seeking-a-great--perhaps @frietiemeloen @arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage (if I forget to tag you, I’m sorry)

Javier’s fingers curled around your thighs, dragging your ass right to the edge of the bed as his mouth descended upon you. You bit down on your bottom lip to keep from crying out as his tongue parted your slick folds, slipping out to taste you.

“Look at you,” He mused, pulling back to look up at you, licking at his lips to clean away the arousal that coated them. He released your left thigh, reaching down to work two fingers over your sensitive flesh. Javier held your gaze as he pressed them into your cunt, before he leaned back down and worked his tongue over your clit.

You grabbed at the sheets beneath you, knuckles going white as you fought the urge to cry out as he worked his mouth over you. You knew exactly what he was doing too. He’d thrust his fingers into you, work his tongue over that little bundle of nerves, until you were teetering on the edge of your release and then he’d pull back. He’d edge you closer every time.

“Javi.” You panted out, practically writhing beneath him as he curled his fingers and dragged them over that sweet spot within you. He had you so fucking close to the edge. With every swirl of his tongue over your throbbing clit you could feel your release building.

You roughly grabbed at his hair, tugging at the strands as he pulled back — robbing you of that moment again. “I can’t…”

He looked up at you, rubbing your leg reassuringly. “You want me to stop, baby?”

“No.” You shook your head, tilting your head to meet his eyes. “I just want to come.”

Javier scrapped his teeth over your inner thigh, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the mark he left in his wake. “But you look so good like this.” He taunted, his eyes raking hungrily over your naked body. You had no doubt that you were a sight to see. You had lost track of how many times he’d brought you right to the edge, only to rob you of an orgasm. You felt more than a little delirious and honestly, you loved it.

If there was one thing Javier could do well, it was eat pussy. There was something deeply erotic about the way he did it when he really went at it. The scrape of his scruff against the tender skin of your inner thighs, the way he’d crook his fingers within you at just the right moment. He knew your body as well as you knew it yourself.

He circled his thumb over your clit, his eyes fixed on yours. “You wanna come?” Javier questioned, his voice low and rough just as he pulled his fingers away again.

“Son of a—“ Your voice broke off into a ragged moan as he dipped back down and worked his tongue over your clit again. You slapped your palm against the mattress, grabbing at the blankets as you felt it starting to build again. You were begging him, needy sounds of desperation falling from your lips as you begged him to let you come.

You clenched around nothing as the first flutters of your release started to build. Your toes curled, pleasure burning through your lower belly — but it wasn’t meant to be. Javier pulled back with a wicked grin, looking down at you as your legs trembled and your hips rocked as he stole it from you.

“I hate you so fucking much.” You panted out, clenching your thighs together as you looked down at him.

“No, you don’t.” Javier shook his head, using the bed for support as he pulled himself off the floor. He leaned over you, eyes searching yours as he stroked his fingers over your cheek. “You good?”

You nodded, chewing on your bottom lip. “I might go crazy before the night is over, but I’m good.”

“You’re a mess.” He told you, slipping his hand between your thighs as he leaned down to kiss you. You could taste yourself on his mouth and there was something heady and arousing about that. “You look so sexy right now.” Javier murmured as his fingers trailed higher, stopping just shy of where you needed the attention. “Always so fucking hot.”

“When you said you wanted the focus to be on me,” You started with a breathy laugh as he pulled away from you. “I didn’t realize you meant the focus would be on denying me.” Your eyes followed him as he reached for the bottle of lube and the infamous Booty Rocket.

You shifted back on the bed so you could grab a pillow, sliding back down to the edge of the bed. “Here.” You passed it to him, “For your knees.”

Javier leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to your lips, “Thank you, baby.”

“You’re welcome.” You grinned up at him, dragging your fingers through his hair as he brushed his nose against yours. He stole another kiss, before he pulled away.

Javier knelt back down between your thighs, “You ready?”

“I’m ready to come.” You retorted, resting your foot on his shoulder as you lifted your hips off the edge of the mattress. You were wound up tight, need burning in through your core.

“You will,” He promised you as he stroked his fingers through folds, slipping just the tips of his fingers into you far too briefly. “Look at you.” Javier mused as he dipped his thumb into you, gathering up some of your arousal before brushing his thumb lower, circling it over your asshole.

“Fuck.” You swore, biting down on your bottom lip as he eased just his thumb into you. You knew what was coming. You heard the tell-tale click of the bottle of lube. His thumb slipped from you, long enough to smear the lube over your puckered hole, before he replaced his thumb with the toy.

“Tell me if it’s too much, baby.” Javier murmured, pressing his lips to the top of your thigh as he worked the toy into you. Your back arched as you rocked your hips towards him, a moan slipping past your lips as the toy bottomed out, the flared base resting against your ass. “Baby?”

“I’m good.” You promised him, leaning up on your elbows to look down at him. You were good, albeit more than a little overwhelmed. And it was only the beginning. “Do you have the remote?” You questioned and Javier nodded, snatching it up off the floor and showing it to you.

“Wanna try?”

“Low.” You cautioned, sinking back down against the bed.

The first setting was a low pulsing vibration that you could feel through your entire pelvis. But it was faint and it wasn’t nearly enough to bring you any real pleasure. It wasn’t what you really needed.

“Javier.”

He ran his hands over your legs, his lips brushing against the soft flesh of your inner thigh. “You’re doing so good, baby. If you could see yourself right now.” He encouraged you, his breath hot against your skin.

“I want you.” You whispered, rocking your hips towards him. “Please.”

Javier rose to his feet and peeled off his tee shirt, but your eyes were drawn downwards to the bulge in his boxers. You sat up slowly, a quiet moan rising up in the back of your throat as the motion made the toy shift within you and reach new spots. Your fingers hooked in the waistband of his boxers before you pulled them down his hips.

“This is what I want.” You told him, looking up at him from beneath your lashes as you curled your fingers around the base of his cock and dragged them up the length of him. “Did you enjoy going down on me, Javi?” You questioned, brushing your thumb over the head of his cock.

“You know I did, baby.” Javier answered, his voice low and rough as he played his fingers through your hair. He trailed his fingers over your cheek, before he tapped on your chin and urged you to look up at him. “If it’s too much—”

“I’ll use my word.” You released your hold on his cock, your hand traveling up over his stomach and chest, before you curled your fingers around the back of his neck and dragged him downwards so you could kiss him.

Javier guided you back against the mattress, your legs drawn up around his hips. You moaned against his mouth, the sound lost in the desperation of his kiss, as his cock pressed against your over-sensitive cunt. You were still teetering on the edge, the low pulsing sensation within your merely stoking the fire.

He reached downwards, his thumb grazing your clit as he guided his cock to your center.

Your fingers tightened at his shoulders, nails digging into his skin as he started to press into you. It was tight and it felt like pure unadulterated pleasure. “Yes. Yes.” You breathed out, your lips still crushed against his as he slid into you all the way to the root.

Javier grabbed at your hip, fingers pressing into old bruises. “Holy shit.” He hissed, pulling out before pressing back into you slowly. “I can feel it.” He marveled. “How do you feel?”

“Full.” You blinked up at him, your fingers trailing over the back of his neck. “Don’t tease me, Javi.” You urged as you leaned up and kissed him again.

He started moving, a slow and steady pace as he worked his cock in and out of you. “You feel so good, baby.” He murmured, his lips brushing over yours as he pressed into you.

You felt the first flutters of your release, your cunt clenching around his cock and the toy as you started to come undone. Your back arched, hips desperately grinding into his every forward movement.

“That’s it, let go.” Javier rasped out, his lips close to your ear as he held fast to you. You cried out, trying to contain yourself as the pleasure rocketed through you. It was just the beginning. The pleasure was a mere fraction of the tidal wave you felt building.

He fumbled for the remote beside you, pressing it into your palm. “Whatever you want.” He told you, brushing his lips over the curve of your throat, before kissing you again.

One. Two. Three.

The vibrations grew stronger and you both moaned desperately as new pleasure overwhelmed you. The pulsing sensation, in tandem with the drive of his cock had your legs twitching as you kept them curled around his hips.

“Close.” Javier warned you as his pace faltered, fingers palming at the soft flesh of your asscheek as he kept driving into you.

You brushed your thumb over the remote, hitting the settings up one more notch and that was all it took. You could feel the vibration all the way in the depths of your core and there was nothing left to do but come undone.

Your moans got lost against his lips, swallowing up his own groans. The pleasure was mind-numbing, the kind of deep-seated euphoria that left you feeling boneless. Your inner walls pulsed around him and you felt the flood of your arousal gush from you as he kept slamming his hips into you until he couldn’t.

Javier tensed, going rigid as he came. His cock twitching inside you, hips grinding against you. You felt the aftershocks of your release or maybe it just hadn’t stopped. Your cunt gripping his cock and the toy, milking his own pleasure from him.

He grabbed the remote from you and shut it off, before taking your hand into his and interlacing your fingers as you both sank against the mattress.

Even off you swore you could still feel the hum of the toy, the pulse of it as it teased both of you. “Oh my god.” You breathed out, but the sound came out far closer to a croak. His cock was still buried within you, the stretch still enough to make you writhe beneath him.

Javier nodded his agreement, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. You knew the position was terrible for him. One knee pressed into the mattress, while his other foot was planted on the ground. But he didn’t complain. Neither of you were willing to unwind yourselves just yet.

He brushed his nose against your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he let out a ragged sigh. “Damn.”

You actually giggled at that, a sound of pure joy escaping you as you ran your hand over the length of his back. “Understatement of the year.” You combed your fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to his cheek, before pressing your forehead against his temple. “I love you.”

Javier chuckled, giving your hip a squeeze. “I love you too.” A grunt escaped him as he shifted his weight on the knee he had pressed against the bed.

“Let’s move.” You murmured, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I’m good.”

You gave him a pointed look, “Alright, old man.”

“Old man?” Javier grumbled, giving your hip a playful swat as he reluctantly pulled back, his cock sliding out of you. You felt the wet rush of his release slipping from him.

He knelt down at the foot of the bed again, “I think I need to remind you of what an old man can do, baby.”

“Fuck.” You dragged your teeth over your bottom lip as Javier curled his hands around your thighs, pulling you to the edge of the bed again. That look in his eyes made you your cunt clench around nothing.

“Do your worst.”

Javier knelt down, dragging his fingers through your folds, “Wish you knew just how fucking hot it is to see me leaking out of you, baby.” He pressed his fingers into you, pushing it back into you. “So fucking good.” He murmured, dipping down to replace his fingers with his tongue, lapping at the combination of both of you as it dripped out of your cunt.

You grabbed at the bedsheets beneath you, a moan rising up in the back of your throat as you squirmed in his hold.

Javier groaned against your folds, the sound reverberating through you as his tongue worked into you before dragging up to swirl around your clit.

Your thighs trembled as they pressed against his face, framing him so perfectly as he worked his mouth over your sensitive flesh, driving you towards the edge again. You came apart, back bowing up off the mattress as you clenched around the toy still buried within you, your inner walls fluttering around his tongue every time he pressed it into you.

Javier sat back on his heels, smirking up at you as he ran his thumb over his glistening bottom lip. Despite how utterly boneless you felt, you couldn’t resist sitting up and kissing him. Your tongue traced over his bottom lip before slipping into his mouth. You ran your hand down his chest, slipping downwards to curl your fingers around his newly hardening cock.

“Did you like that?” You questioned, pressing your forehead against his. “Did we taste good, Javi?” You whispered as you stroked his cock slowly. “You’re so fucking hard.”

“Can you handle more?” He questioned, running his fingers along your side, before he tilted his head to kiss you again.

“Yes.” You breathed out, pumping your hand over his length. “Please.”

“Roll over for me, baby.” Javier drawled out.

You stole another kiss before you moved to drape yourself over the foot of the bed, ass up for him.

“You did so fucking good,” He murmured as he stroked his hand over the small of your back. “You’re such a good girl, baby.” Javier added, knowing exactly what he was doing with that praise. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?”

“Goddammit.” You swore, pressing your forehead against your folded arms as he gently worked at the toy within you, teasing you with it before he carefully pulled it out. You couldn’t help the way you trembled or the way you rocked your hips backwards towards him. You wanted more.

Javier roughly palmed at your asscheeks, as he slid his cock between them. “Are you gonna take my cock again, baby? You think you can do that for me?” He questioned as he pressed just the head of his cock into your ass.

You keened, fingers tightening around the bed sheets as he finally sank into you. Your back arched, grinding back against him. “Jesus —fucking—shit.”

His hand curled around your hip, holding you steady as his other hand moved to rest at the center of your chest guiding you up and back until he had you pressed against his chest.

Javier nearly slipped from you, before snapping his hips forward, his cock driving into you again and again. You let your head fall back against his shoulder, just giving in to everything you were feeling.

“You feel so good,” Javier murmured. “So fucking good.”

You reached behind you, fingers tugging at his hair. “I love your cock.” You told him, your hips rocking back to meet his every movement. “I think about—“ Your voice cracked, another moan escaping you as his hand moved from your hip and teased at your clit.

“What do you think about?” He questioned, nipping at the junction where your neck met your shoulder.

“Your fucking cock.” You gritted out as you felt your body starting to react, a deep burn of pleasure building within you. “Can’t get enough.”

Javier worked two fingers into you, twisting them in tandem with the drive of his cock. It was overwhelming and you were already overwhelmed.

You curled your fingers around his forearm, nails biting into his skin as the added stimulation set off your orgasm. You tried not to cry out, your teeth drawing blood as you bit down on your bottom lip.It was hard to even think straight.

His fingers twisted in your hair, an erotic mix of pain and pleasure as he kept driving into you. “Gonna… fuck. Baby, I’m gonna come.”

“Yes!” You curled your hands around his as he grabbed at your hips, picking up the pace of his thrusts until he found his own release.

Your legs gave out on you. He’d managed to turn you into a trembling mess. Javier was quick to wrap his arm around your waist, helping as you sank forward onto the foot of the bed.

“Holy shit.” You breathed out as he slowly slid his cock out of you. “You’ve outdone yourself, Javi.”

“Gonna keep calling me old now, baby?” He teased, slapping his hand against your ass hard enough to make you yelp, only to soothingly rub his hand over the same spot.

“Check back in tomorrow.” You laughed, stretching your arms out on the bed beneath you. “My brain is just… fuzzy.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Javier murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of your shoulder. “Hey baby, can you turn over?”

“Yeah.” You mumbled, slowly pulling yourself up, before you rolled over and scooted to the edge of the bed, looking up at him. “Damn.” You could feel every spot he’d touched, both on your skin and deep within you.

“C’mere.” Javier said warmly, moving to pick you up. He carried you around to the side of the bed, settling you against the pillows before he joined you.

You let out a heavy and contented sigh as he curled his arm around your waist. “Did you have fun?” He questioned, brushing his lips against your shoulder.

“Mhm.” You nodded slowly, shifting closer to him, as if that were even possible. You were already pressed up against him. “I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that good before.”

Javier chuckled, “Guess we can thank Rocky.”

You laughed loudly, turning to press your face into the crook of his neck. “We should send him a gift basket.”

He snorted quietly, brushing his fingers through your hair. “Maybe.”

You pulled back a little, smiling at him. “Have I mentioned lately just how much I love you?”

“That’s the sex talking.” Javier retorted, holding your gaze. “But I’m always interested in hearing it, baby.”

“More than anything,” You stroked your fingers over his cheek. “I cannot picture my life without you.”

“I fucked you that good, huh?” He teased, though his eyes revealed just how much your words meant.

“It was really good.” You agreed. “I might need to sit on a pillow tomorrow.”

He winked. “As it should be.”

“But I mean it, Javier.” You insisted. “Every part of who I am loves you.”

Javier pressed a tender kiss to your lips, “I love you too, baby. Always have.” He curled both arms around you, holding you close. “You should rest.”

“For a week.” You whispered quietly, letting yourself give in to the exhaustion you felt.

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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rae-gar-targaryen · 4 years ago

Note

who are some of your favorite pedro writers on here?

Buckle up, anon, because I have a LIST. This is NOT an exhaustive list, nor is it in any order. If I forgot someone PLEASE correct me and feel free to add. I am not intentionally leaving ANYONE out. PLEASS SUPPLEMENT, FRIENDS!

Again, in no particular order...

1. My bb Katryn aka @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa bonded over our mutual love and nerdy know-how of the one and only prince Oberyn (and the incomparable Ellaria Sand). Katryn's series, "Footprints in the Sand" is some of the most beautiful Oberyn on here. She also writes for Max Phillips and Frankie. She's a beautiful mind and a beautiful human.

2. The lovely, incomparable @qveenbvtch is one of the queenliest Javi queens on here. "Ring my Bell" and "Funtimes in Babylon" are dreamy, hot art with our favorite grumpy DEA boyfriend.

3. @forever-rogue my beautiful, brilliant, fellow law nerd Patricia. She writes INCREDIBLE dreamy Oberyn (and is a fellow Diego Luna lover). Generally, a paragon of taste.

4. @rzrcrst -- Kenzie writes Ezra with an ease that feels beautifully stifling-- you can never get enough and yet each piece is so fulfilling.

5. I have shouted this one out like three times by now but @mell-bell wrote a Mando classic: "Fight so Dirty."

6. The lovely Zelda @zeldasayer writes beautiful Javi and Whiskey, she also does brilliant headcanons.

7. @elylandon has a phenomenal Mando series "Lost and Found."

8. Maggie, @hopelikethesun writes the LEGENDARY Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Javi MASTERPIECE. SERIOUSLY A MUST-READ for Javi lovers. She also writes Ezra, Frankie and other Pedros.

9. @fleetwoodmactshirt her HC's are legend. Everything she touches turns to gold, everything she writes, a treasure.

10. @diindjariin has a BEAUTIFUL Mando series I've waxed poetic about three times now, "A Mandalorian Hello."

11. @californiakoenig writes BEAUTIFUL Javi (and also Poe Dameron for you Oscar Isaac lovers).

12. @longitud-de-onda writes some of the most beautiful, dreamy, angsty Javi.

13. @themandjalorian -- Everything she writes is incredible!

14. @maxlordd "A Gilded Lie" Maxwell Lord story is GOD TIER. Seriously, if this isn't what Wonder Woman 1984 is, I'll be upset. Patty Jenkins, HIRE HER!

15. My beautiful Ash @winters-buck is always up for Pedro character thoughts and has a BEAUTIFUL mind.

16. @no-droids Masterful. Mando.

God there are so many more and I cannot do EVERY person I love so much the justice they deserve, so please check them out for yourself. You won't regret it: @murdermewithbooks @hiscyarika @cosmicbug379 @dindjarindiaries @lannister-slings-and-arrows @waywardodysseys @absurdthirst @huliabitch @ithinkwehitametaphor @keeper0fthestars @thick-dick-daddy-mando @agentpike @fandom-imagines-stories @pajamasecrets

Listen, I am just a humble fan of the above beauties and their amazing work. Please check them out, ask them for their recommendations. They probably know ALOT more people than I do!

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hiscyarika · 4 years ago

Note

“Remove” for the word drabble with Din :D

Word Count: 1.0k

Pairing: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Reader

Prompt: “Remove”

Warning(s): None

A/N: Was an unhelmeting scene too obvious for this word prompt? Maybe. But I did it anyway 😂 Thank you for sending this in and I hope you enjoy! 💙

Masterlist

Tag Lists

---

He’s always feared the day that someone strips away his armor: the day that someone learns that it’s all a façade, that underneath the beskar is only a frightened, doubtful man.

His heart pounds as he stands there with you in the complete darkness of the hull. He’s not used to having you this close, despite how much he craves it. You bring a hand up to his right pauldron, your nimble fingers working to remove the piece of armor from his shoulder. As soon as he realizes what you’re trying to do, he catches your wrist in his hand, stopping your movements. It’s instinctual, a protective reflex.

Though he can’t see you, he feels your gaze burning into the visor of his helmet. “We don’t have to do this, Din,” you murmur, and he feels a pang in his chest at the gentle, reassuring tone of your voice. He’ll never know what makes you so understanding of his hesitation. He’s certain that no one else would have stayed so long for someone who refused to show any sort of physical vulnerability.

He shifts, instead lacing his gloved fingers with yours. “No, I… This is what I want. I just...I need a minute,” he explains.

You lift your other hand, slipping your fingers beneath the cowl around his neck. Gently, you pull him closer until the helmet rests against your forehead. “We can take as long as you need,” you whisper, running your thumb along the edge of his jaw.

Din takes a moment to breathe, his free hand falling to rest on your hip. He gives a gentle squeeze, bringing you that much closer. He doesn’t know how long the two of you spend standing like that, but eventually he lifts his head, releasing your hand.

“Okay,” he breathes.

You bring your hand back up to his pauldron, pulling it gently from his shoulder just a moment later. You set it aside on the crate that sits not far from where you stand. Both of his hands rest on your hips now, and he doesn’t move them as you unfasten the second pauldron. You take a moment to rest your hands on his shoulders, gently kneading his sore, aching muscles with the pads of your fingers.

He knows this is reckless. He’s never let anyone come this close to him, never let anyone render him defenseless this way. But as your gentle hands move along, slowly removing each piece of cold steel from his body, he finds that what he feels is not fear, but relief. With you, he welcomes the loss of his armor, letting you take the weight from him and leave the warmth of your touch in its place. Because Din realizes that this is different. You’re different. You’re the safety and the solace that he’s searched for his whole life, the very thing that he feared he would never truly find.

Once you’ve removed his backplate, you take just a half step back from him. The only thing left now is the helmet. You pause, letting a few moments pass in silence. There’s a decision to be made, one that neither of you take lightly. But Din doesn’t move, doesn’t speak.

Your hands fall to either side of the helmet, and again you pause. You wait. You want him to be the one that makes this choice, not you.

Din can’t help the way his body shakes with the breath that leaves him. But he bears no hesitation for what you’re about to do. No, he’s already surrendered himself fully. He raises his arms, placing his hands on top of yours. Together, the two of you lift the helmet from his head. It hisses and clicks as he’s released, the only sounds that break the delicate silence.

And then the final piece of the armor is gone, gently set aside just like the rest. There’s nothing left to hide him from you.

Your hands tremble as they find his cheeks. He’s frozen in place, blood pounding in his ears as you map his face in the dark. Your fingers trace his cheekbones, his nose, his temples. They slip into his hair and gently untangle the unruly curls. His eyes slip closed. Your touch is almost intoxicating, leaving him without a coherent thought and feeling weak, like his legs might give out from under him if he tried to move.

Din drops his head so that his forehead presses gently against yours, and his eyes burn as he takes in the feeling of having you this close to him, of being able to feel your skin against his. He takes in a deep breath, breathing in your comforting scent now that he’s no longer hindered by the helmet. He doesn’t know how he’ll ever put it back on.

Your hands move again, and he feels the pads of your fingers press flat against his lips. He purses them, leaving the ghost of a kiss against your soft skin. You linger there for a moment, but then your hands fall to his chest. There’s a second of hesitation, and desire hangs heavy in the air, almost tangible. Din shifts, his hands running down your sides until they once again rest on your hips.

And then he pulls you close, eliminating any distance left between the two of you. His lips meet yours in a kiss so cautious it’s like the two of you are made of glass. One false move and you’ll shatter in each other’s arms. Din savors the way your lips fit so perfectly with his, only pulling away from you when his lungs burn for air. He looks down at you, only able to make out your silhouette in the dark, wondering why it took him so long to let this happen.

Because even in this moment of vulnerability, even as he stands bared completely to you, he’s never felt more secure.

---

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#din djarin x reader #din djarin #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #star wars

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dindjarindiaries · 5 years ago

Text

Before You Know It

summary: Your best friend Javier returns from his venture to Colombia much different than how he left you.

pairing: javier peña x f!reader

warnings: alcohol abuse, mentions of violence, blood, and being a sexual object, personal trauma, angst, fluff

inspiration: part of this fic is loosely inspired by this brilliant work by @longitud-de-onda! thank you, love, for such a beautiful fic (that made me cry, mind you!). please check it out!

rating: R

word count: 4.868k

You place your hands on your hips as you sigh, looking around the vacant room. You’ve been helping your best friend, Javier, move his things out of his bedroom at the home he shares with his father, so his father can use the space for something more efficient while he’s away on his new job. Thinking of it makes your stomach turn unpleasantly, but nevertheless, you keep a strong face for Javier.

You feel a hand on your shoulder, and you look over to see Javier standing there with an expression of gratitude. “Thank you so much,” he says genuinely. “Your help made this a lot easier.”

“Hey, how could I not help get you out of here faster, Javi?” you joke, causing Javier to chuckle and shake his head in return. You observe his gaze to see the sheer excitement he’s feeling, and you wish you could feel the same thing for him—but, sadly, the thought of him going off to a foreign country to track down drug lords doesn’t sound very appealing to you.

You and Javier have been best friends ever since kindergarten. With neighboring desks and nervous feelings, you both started talking and clicked right away. Soon, you were barely spending a minute apart from each other. It helped that Javier’s house and farm was just a ten-minute bike ride down the road from yours. You shared everything with each other—answers to homework, life struggles, every single summer night—up through high school. He was like an extension of yourself, a foundation for the shaky life you had growing up. With an abundance of alcohol in the house and two very stubborn parents, fights were a daily occurrence, and Javier was always there to rescue you from the chaos. You knew the loss of his mother had deeply impacted him, and so you became his solace in the midst of his ever-present grief. You knew everything about each other, and that made it hurt like hell when the time came for you to part—just a bit farther than usual.

Javier decided to attend Texas A&M University-Kingsville, while you ambitiously went to University of Texas in Austin. You were a three-and-a-half-hour drive apart, a trip you each would’ve taken if either of you had a car. It was much different from the ten-minute bike trip down the road. Still, you stayed in touch with letters and spent your summers catching up on all you’d lost out on. After you’d both graduated, you moved back to Kingsville to figure out your life while Javier began training with the DEA—and now, some years later, he’s finally being positioned somewhere interesting in the field.

What you hadn’t expected from all of this was the way you’d feel about him. Javier was actually your first kiss, the result of a deal you’d made as eight-year-olds. You’d decided that, if you both hadn’t kissed anyone by the end of sixth grade, you’d kiss each other—just so you could tell your potential partners that you did have the experience. By the end of sixth grade, neither one of you had the experience under your belt yet, so you’d shared it with each other. And you know it sounds ridiculous, especially now as a grown woman, but that’s the exact moment you knew you had feelings for your best friend—but you didn’t have the courage to ruin your friendship.

So, you stayed silent. All those years. When you and Javier started dating other people, you tried to push those feelings away, putting them into the corners of your heart and attempting to drown them in other boys. But it never worked. You knew the truth, especially whenever you saw Javier with his girlfriends. You never told him, but you had cried at your senior prom when you saw him dancing with Lorraine, and you declined the offer to join him at an afterparty because you knew you’d have to see him get into a tent with her and do exactly what you wanted to do with him. But that was nothing compared to the day Javier showed you the ring he bought for her, and when you got their wedding invitation in the mail. It fucking hurt. Yet, you’d still comforted him all the same when Javier came to your house on his wedding day, telling you he couldn’t do it. You wanted to tell him the truth, but you couldn’t. Not when he was hurt.

And now, he’s leaving you—for fucking Medellín. Colombia. Much more than a simple ten-minute bike ride or three-and-a-half-hour car drive. You can’t even send letters, because Javier’s told you it’ll be pointless. The mail system sucks, and it’d take months until you’d hear from each other. So, it’s a bit difficult to share Javier’s excitement at going down to Colombia, especially with that painful feeling in your chest you’ve been carrying ever since the sixth grade.

Javier’s voice saying your name suddenly floods your hearing, and you turn quickly to see him staring at you. Some of the excitement in his gaze has subsided for concern as he studies your stiff nature. “You alright?”

“Yeah!” you assure him with a wave of your hand. “Just hungry, honestly.”

Javier smiles. “As always.” You scoff, punching his shoulder as he chuckles. “I’ll order some takeout, and then we can have a drink.”

You nod, liking the plan as you follow him out of the bedroom. Javier’s father’s still outside, utilizing every bit of daylight he can on the farm. You ask Javier if you should help, and he shakes his head, saying that he was given strict instructions not to let you lift a single finger on anything other than his own belongings. You laugh, accepting the can of beer Javier offers once he’s called for the delivery.

You hope the alcohol will blind some of the pain in your chest, but it doesn’t. You watch as Javier’s lips move, his dark gaze sparkling as he talks all about what he’s going to do in Colombia, all the work he’s done to get there—but you don’t hear anything. You try to engage, nodding your head and maintaining his eye contact, but you can’t process anything. He’s acting like leaving you is easy, like everything’s going to be great and you’re not going to suffer here alone in Kingsville at the teaching job you’ve just started—at the same grade school where you met him. Guilt fills you at this feeling: you’re supposed to be excited for your best friend and the dreams he’s achieving, but the pain of the loss is overbearing.

Javier finally notices this, and his lips slow as he puts down his beer and wraps his hand around yours. “Hey,” he starts softly, looking over from where he’s sitting beside you on the couch. “I know the whole distance and time spent apart thing’s gonna be hard.”

You bite your lip, trying to keep the tears away as you continue returning his look. “That’s an understatement.” You muster a chuckle, although nothing about this is amusing to you.

“But I won’t be there forever.” Javier lifts his brow, hoping to see some sort of change in you at his words. It works—your tense shoulders relax just a bit, causing him to smile. “And the minute I’m back in Kingsville, we’ll catch up. Alright?”

You nod, closing your eyes as you wearily rest your head on his flannel-covered shoulder. He releases your hand to wrap an arm around you, giving you a comforting side-hug as you sit there. When you finally sit back up, Javier’s giving you yet another reassuring smile.

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

Those words stick in your mind, allowing you to relax enough to hold a fun conversation over the takeout dinner and get you closer to the front door. You can barely get the goodbye out of your throat when the time comes, and you embrace him for at least a few minutes straight as you hide your face in his shoulder. You take that time to breathe in what you can—the feeling of his arms around you, his familiar and comforting scent, the sweet nothings he says into your ear to keep you calm. When you pull away, you hope to see some of the same love you feel in your heart reflected in his eyes—but all that’s there is excitement and slight sadness. With a sigh, you leave the house, and as soon as you’re in your car, the tears start falling. You cry the entire night.

Javier leaves on his flight the next morning. Half of you wanted to drive to the airport and tell him everything you’ve been holding back since sixth grade, and the more rational half of you told you to leave it. Who were you to give him a reason not to pursue his dreams? You knew how hard he’d worked to get to where he was, and as his best friend and secret lover, you would’ve hated to hold him back from that—no matter how painful it was.

It was years until you saw him again. Many years.

You’ve started to forget what he looks like. Are his eyes really that dark? What does he smell like again? Is his voice smooth or raspy? Everything’s getting lost in your mind as you overthink it all. Yet, you can never truly forget him. He’s still there, haunting you every day, driving you crazy in the waiting. You’ve still tried to date other people, but it never works out, and secretly you know why. You follow the news closely, seeing the horrors of Pablo Escobar and praying to God that Javier isn’t risking his life over that psychopath as much as you think he is. You have dinners with Javier’s father occasionally, asking if he’s heard from his son. He knows just as much as yourself. You’re then left with whatever memories of him you can remember, sitting alone in your apartment and never knowing when you can see him again.

So, when the knock comes at your apartment door one evening, you’re confused as to who the hell would be paying you a visit at nearly ten o’ clock at night. You open the door cautiously, your jaw practically dropped to the floor at what—or rather, who—you see.

“Javi?” you breathe, your tone coated in disbelief. He looks much different than he did all those years ago, having grown out a fitting mustache, exchanging his flannel for a fitted button-up t-shirt, and letting his hair get a bit messier than usual. He’s grown into a man—a man you’re still helplessly in love with.

Javier breathes your name in the same tone as you, his gaze floating up and down as he takes you in. Then, in a quick moment, he wraps his arms around you, causing you to smile as you rest your face in the leather jacket that covers his shoulder. His familiar scent comes back to you, but this time mixing with a new cologne and faint smoke. You stay there until Javier pulls away, his hands falling on your shoulders as he stares at you in disbelief. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.” His voice sounds raspier than it used to, and you hate the way it makes your heart skip so easily. He observes you again, instinctively making your cheeks heat up at the attention he’s giving you. “Did you get more beautiful while I was gone?”

You scoff, giving his shoulder a light punch as he laughs a bit. He was always one to give you a compliment like that before, so you’ve already trained yourself to think nothing of it. “You haven’t changed a bit, Javi,” you say. Javier visibly tenses at your words, and that’s when you take in the true differences. His dark gaze is missing something—that sparkle of his isn’t there anymore—and there’s more wrinkles around his eyes and brow, along with permanent circles under his eyes. Evidently, he has changed, just not in a way you can easily uncover. “What brings you back?”

“I’m done in Medellín,” Javier explains, but you can tell that there’s more to it than he’s telling you. “I’ll be working here, now.” Your eyes widen in slight excitement, but you try to hide it, since you can tell that something about it is upsetting Javier greatly. He continues, “I told you the first thing I’d do when I got back is catch you up, so… here I am. And I… really needed to see you.”

Your heart practically breaks at the longing in Javier’s voice. Your concern for him has now grown tenfold as the darkness in his eyes starts taking over. You nod, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad you came, Javi. We can talk as much as you want to. Did you want to stay here, or—?”

“I was hoping we could go home,” Javier interjects, almost sounding timid at his request.

You immediately know what he’s talking about. Home is a hill further down the long stretch of road you and Javier grew up on. The hill is in a remote place with a flat top, offering views of many different city lights and lush nature. You’d called it home because it was the place you always went together—and, for you, it was the place where you’d fallen in love with him. So, you don’t hesitate to give him a nod when he suggests it. “Of course, Javi. I’ll grab some drinks and then I’ll drive.”

Javier nods, waiting at the doorframe as you head into the kitchen and take the six-pack of beers you just bought. You grab your keys on the way, figuring you won’t need a jacket in the warm Texas night as you lead the way down to your car. The drive starts out silent, but you break it by deciding to talk about your life first—hoping the rest can just be about Javier.

“It’s been the same old shit around here, Javi,” you inform him, pleased to get a chuckle out of him. “The kids at school, they remind me a lot of us sometimes.”

“Really?” Javier questions, revealing some amusement as he looks over at you.

“Yeah,” you agree with a giggle. “Especially the ones who won’t stop talking in the middle of class.”

Javier snorts. “That was always your fault.”

You scoff. “Excuse me? Weren’t you the one who felt the need to point out whenever Pauline started chewing on her pencil like a rabid dog every day?”

Javier offers a laugh—but it’s not like how it used to be, and upon hearing it, you feel your heart sink a bit into your stomach. “But was I the one who felt the need to talk about how disgusting it was?”

You shake your head, smiling a bit. “Well, anyway, it’s been good. I’ve just missed having you to talk to about the other crazy teachers and my weird next-door neighbor.”

Javier looks back to the windshield. “I’ve missed having you, too.” It almost sounds like he chokes on his words as his gaze shifts to the window beside him. “You have no idea.”

A pit grows in your stomach as you stop the car just below the hill, stepping out of the car and opening the door to the backseat. Javier grabs the beers for you, and you take the blanket you always keep there as you hike up the hill in silence. Once you reach the top, you feel a wave of nostalgia hit you, and you smile at the sight of the city lights in the distance. You lay out the blanket and invite Javier to sit on it beside you. He hands you a beer that you crack open, sighing and looking over at him. “So, how was Medellín?” you question. “Was it everything you dreamed it would be?”

Javier scoffs, taking a sip of the beer as his gaze stays glued to the city lights. “Everything and more.” The way he says the words is intensely sarcastic, and his gaze falls to the can in his hand as his forefinger and thumb play with the tab. He’s silent for a moment, and you’re not sure how to break it—or if you should. You give him the time to think, or at least show that he wants you to talk, but he soon breaks it himself. “It fucked me up.”

You frown upon hearing the words. “What the hell happened out there, Javi? I saw the news. I saw what Escobar was up to. What was it like for you?”

Javier takes a deep breath, taking another sip of the beer as if to drown his memories. “It was a shitshow.” He finally looks over at you, and your heart constricts at the sight of his darkened gaze. “People want to call me a hero, but… I’m not.” He lets out a strangled breath, his eyes facing the lights once again. “I’m about as much of a hero as Escobar himself.”

You nearly let out a whimper at his self-deprivation, placing your free hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure that’s not true, Javi,” you reassure him. He just shakes his head slowly. “Whatever you were doing, it was just your job—that’s nothing compared to Escobar’s terrorism.”

“You know what my mantra was down there?” Javier pauses, scoffing before he says the words. “‘Sometimes you gotta do bad things to catch bad people.’ Tell me that’s not fucking twisted.”

You shrug at him. “Escobar’s been doing some pretty fucked-up things himself. I’m sure you were—.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Javier lets the words slip in an urgent manner, his voice constricted as his grip around the beer can tightens. “You have no idea what I did out there.” He pauses, swallowing hard as he’s unable to look back over at you. “You would’ve hated me. You still might. I wasn’t the person you grew up with. I wasn’t the person my father raised me to be. I wasn’t…” Javier chokes on his words for a second, further breaking your heart before he continues, “… I wasn’t the person my mother was so sure I’d be.”

You resist the urge to cup his face in your hands right then and there and assure him that he is in fact the man you grew up with—the man you fell in love with—instead sitting there and offering your ears to him. “Why? What did you do, Javi?”

Silence. Javier takes another sip of his beer, holding it in both of his hands once he finishes. His thumbs run nervously along the sides of the metal can, and his eyes still refuse to leave the sights ahead of you. “I killed people.” The first words escape him in a ghostly murmur, leaving a chill to run through you. “I tortured some. I blackmailed many. I…” Javier bites his lip, and you feel the pit in your stomach only grow when you spot the moisture growing on the surface of his eyes, “… I practically fucking sold myself for information.”

You’re not sure what to say, so you take a sip of your drink, continuing to look over at Javier and show him you’re listening. When he still doesn’t talk, you try to ease him just a bit. “It can’t be as bad as the things the cartel was doing.”

Javier shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. Because you know what?” He finally looks over at you, his self-hatred evident in his gaze. “You want to know why I’m back now?” You raise an eyebrow at him. “Because I got caught. I was working with Los Pepes. Fucking Los Pepes. A goddamn terrorist group.” Javier shakes his head, having to break himself away from your gaze again. “Who the hell even am I anymore? What the fuck did I let myself become?”

The brokenness in his voice is enough to make you want to break down into tears, but you stay strong for him, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder again. “That was a war you were dealing with down there, Javi. And wars take some seriously shitty circumstances to get a victory.” Javier scoffs at that, as if to agree with you. “You can’t beat yourself up for it. I’m sure many others around you had to do the same things.”

Javier shakes his head, closing his eyes for a long moment. When he reopens them, they’re even glossier than before. “No one else had to—because I did. I was the person they relied on to do the illegal shit.”

You grimace at his words. “Why would they put you in a position like that?”

“They didn’t.” Javier practically growls the words. “I did it to myself. The minute I fucked an informant and it proved effective, that was the only way to get shit done. When they let that slide, it just fueled everything else, and soon I was doing whatever shit I could get away with to get anything on Escobar.”

Your stomach drops at his words. You assume this is what he meant by “selling himself”—and you can tell the strategy has left a heavy toll on him. “How many informants did you have to see?”

Javier takes a deep breath. “Too many.” He shakes his head, biting his lip to keep his emotions in check before continuing. “I used them. And I let them use me. And I practically whored myself out all the time just for a goddamn crumb on a drug lord.” Javier’s eyes close, and his head falls as he takes a shaky breath. “Do you know how worthless that made me feel? All that intimate connection with absolutely no strings attached. My own bosses getting on my case if I hadn’t gotten information in a while. Depending on me to get a fuck in so they could keep chasing Escobar.”

His voice begins to break, and you see his chest attempting to heave back a breath. Your heart shatters in your chest, breaking beyond belief. “I felt like a piece of shit. And that’s probably what let me do everything else so easily. Who would care if I pulled a trigger? I was worthless, anyway—at least it wasn’t an actual decent human being doing it.” Javier looks back up, a tear managing to escape his eye as he tries to hide it from you. “And I hated myself for all of it. I still do.” He stifles a sob as he finishes. “I fucking hate myself.”

You can’t resist the urge anymore, and you set your drink beside you on the blanket as you take his face in your hands. You make him face you again, and you can see the other tears that have managed to make their way onto his cheeks. Your thumbs attempt to brush them away as you look at him seriously. “Don’t, Javi. You’re not any of the things you think you are. You were just put in a shitty situation with terrible circumstances—and you did what you could with it. You’re worth everything. What matters now is that you know it was wrong.” You catch another escaped tear with your thumb, hating the sight of him breaking so badly in front of you. “If you had to do it all again, would you?”

Javier blinks a few times before shaking his head. You give him an encouraging smile.

“Then that’s enough to prove that you’re not the man you think you are. You’ve grown from this. You reached a deep and dark place, and that happens. But to me, you’re still the same man I grew up with, the same man I’ve been waiting so long for.” You hesitate, wondering if you should finish the thought. At the sight of Javier’s utterly broken heart being placed so visibly on his sleeve, you can’t help yourself from offering the same kind of openness back to him. “You’re still the same man I fell in love with—a long, long time ago.”

Javier’s eyes soften at your words, but disbelief fills his expression. He swallows hard, almost looking confused. “Fell in love with?”

You give him a nod, anxiety creating a storm inside you as you run another thumb over his cheek. “Ever since the sixth grade.”

Javier sighs, his hands grabbing yours and gently removing them from his face. You panic for a moment, fearing that you’ve said too much and done exactly what you’ve feared you’d do for so long with this confession, but it subsides when he holds them both tenderly between his own. His gaze looks down at them but returns to you soon after. “You have no idea how badly I needed you there with me. I thought about you every day. Every damn day. And in those moments when I thought a trigger was gonna get pulled on me, I always saw your face—and I always regretted that I never told you the way I felt.” Javier sighs, giving your hands a squeeze. “Because I’ve loved you for so long. And I always tried to hide it, or at least deny it. Yet, inevitably, it followed me everywhere. It got me out of every single high school relationship. It tore me apart from that altar. It made me realize how much I needed you when I was giving everything to strangers in Medellín.” Javier shakes his head, looking at you with a furrowed brow. “But I don’t understand how you could possibly love me now. Not after all of that.”

You bite your lip in an attempt to keep your own emotions away, shaking your head back at him. “It’s because I know who you really are, Javi. I know the man I grew up with, the man who got on that plane to Colombia, and I still know the man who’s sitting in front of me now. I know that you can grow, and you can pick yourself back up from the worst of tumbles.” You free one of your hands from his to hold his cheek once again, feeling your heart soar as he leans desperately into your touch. “I know that I thought of you every day, too. That I lost sleep over your well-being. That whenever I saw what the hell Escobar was up to, I regretted not telling you how I felt—because I wasn’t sure if you’d even make it back here. And now I know that I’m going to help you keep growing from here.” You start leaning your face closer to Javier’s, waiting until you can feel his labored breathing on your face. You look deep into his dark eyes, the ones you fell in love with so long ago, and offer him a small smile. “Because I love you, Javier Peña, and you can’t make me stop so easily.”

Javier smiles back at you, and for the first time since you’d seen him again, you see that old sparkle come back in his gaze. “I love you too.” His voice is a hushed whisper, and he brushes his lips against yours. “More than you’ll ever know.”

With that, his lips press fully against yours, causing your heart to explode within your chest at the contact you’ve been waiting way too damn long for. The way his lips move against yours is so familiar and so right, making every moment you’ve waited more than worth it. You crave more of him, loving the way he takes you into his arms and pulls you closer to him. Yet, knowing it’s still an adjustment for him, you pull away from Javier much sooner than wanted, bringing your other hand up to hold both sides of his face once again. His dark eyes are still sparkling, and he finally starts to look as full of life as he did the day he left.

“Don’t worry, Javi,” you assure him in a soft murmur. “We’ll get the real you back before you know it.” You lean up to place a kiss on his forehead, seeing Javier smile even wider at you before he captures your lips in another breathtaking kiss.

#don't mind me crying rn #I love him so much please #it HURTS #javier peña #javier pena #javi peña #javier peña x reader #narcos #O U C H

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