#once you're in it's a curse

[sky-is-the-limit]

It's 24/08/2185. We're all dead and Destiel is still trending. Jensen's great grandchild sold the tapes to a museum for 5 million dollars. New Destiel content keeps coming out to the public but no one knows how or who. Some believe that it's Misha Collins' ghost. It's 2185 and Destiel is still trending.

[scrawnyghstts]

I'm on ep 39 of ouaw and I'd like to offer you Gideon holding Kremy back from feeding Frost to the shadow magic, because Frosty said that Kremy should just buy a new hat rather than get his back from the hag

AND JUST A SHOT OF THE ENTIRE PARTY TOO LMAO THIS IS PERFECT

Frosty is giggling, Gricko looking at Frost like "oh holy sht no way he said that" and Torbek's absolutely terrified (oohh frostyyy why would you sayyy thattt!!)

and this is just improv that Mace started like I'm sorry EVERYONE at that table ships coalecroux you can't tell me otherwise

[royalarchivist]

Pac: Oh– [Stammers] Why– I have an Ender Flu? I'm shaking! Oh my god.

Tubbo: No, Pac! You've been impregnated! 😫

Pac: IMPREGNATED?!?! Wait, what? 😨

Fit: Oh god. [Laughs] That's a new one.

Tubbo: You're pregnant!

Pac: How?!

Tubbo: I can't believe preggers Pac is on the QSMP!

Pac: Oh my god, I'm so happy! [Laughs]

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Tubbo: This is not what I want! I don't want this!!!

Fit: [Chuckles]

Pac: Oh– [Stammers] Why– I have an Ender Flu? I'm shaking! Oh my god.

Tubbo: No, Pac! You've been impregnated!

Pac: IMPREGNATED?!?! Wait, what?

Fit: Oh god. [Laughs]

Tubbo: You're pregnant!

Pac: How?!

Fit: That's a new one.

Tubbo: Uh oh, I'm about to– I'm about to not be alive much longer.

Pac: How– ahhh!!!! Wait, this is good? [Tubbo gets killed by a mob] Oh my god, Tubbo!

Tubbo: Guys? Preggers Pac, and Fit, help!

Pac: [Reading chat] "Congratulations"? Thanks guys, I didn't know, man! As always.

Fit: [Revives Tubbo] Alright, run! Ok, you're good.

Tubbo: We got his ass!

Pac: Wait, wait– What does it mean like, I'm pregnant? I'm gonna have babies?

Tubbo: It means you're gonna give birth to a beautiful– a beautiful plethora of children!

Pac: Oh my god, not– [unintelligible]

Tubbo: [Still ranting] Merciful, wonderful babies! Babies! Innocent babies will-

Fit: [Laughs] Yeah, what he said.

Tubbo: –will splurt out of you!

Pac: Oh my god. I think I saw like, Foolish having birth the other day, so I–

Fit: [Fighting a mob] Not this thing again!

Pac: Oh my god.

Tubbo: I can't believe preggers Pac is on the QSMP!

Pac: Oh my god, I'm so happy! [Laughs]

Fit: [Laughs]

Tubbo: It's gonna be such a magical time for you!

Pac: Yeah, oh my god, I have been like, dreaming for–

Tubbo: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. What do you– have you got any names? What are you gonna name it?

Pac: I'm probably gonna name it "Elton" and "John" if I have like, two.

Tubbo: Ohhh! What a beautiful name!

[purplegori]

malevolent is wild because the two main characters are literally Everything all at once. they're a queerplatonic relationship. they're romantically married. they've been thrice divorced. they're constantly learning about each other. they barely know each other at all. they argue every fucking minute. they have an undying loyalty to each other. like i'm SAYING man it just never ends

[canisalbus]

They’d find eachother in any universe

.

[threepoint14art]

Mantis' "pupils" are an optical illusion

It looks like they're always following you

weird little alt without some of the layers just because :P

[alacants]

nyt on jcf's roland garros win. sooooo interesting in the context of born media star carlos alcaraz. we love contrasts... cycles...

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pictures and things

[fishermcn]

🍁 how does he feel about the lil jar bois? and the big ones too

@renatvvs // on the matter of samuel whist, bitten by the sea // always accepting.

// complicated question.

sam's time with the depraved perfumers definitely defined him as someone willing to do near anything and kill near anyone that crossed paths with him. their ruthlessness, their cruelty and obsession, had no small effect on him-- from fifteen to twenty three, everything that they were he harbored if only to ensure he wasn't the next to end up subject to their newest aromatic brews. that meant experimenting on captives, on watching men and women suffocate on the pollen of miranda blooms without so much as batting an eye.

but there is a line, one drawn himself after a time. as valuable as a commodity that the living jars are for their craft, both small and large alike, sam cannot stomach hunting them. not when the albinaurics are treated in a similar regard by the knights of the cuckoo and even by depraved perfumers themselves for the potency of their artificial blood. hypocrite they may call him, but it strikes far too close to home.

an encounter with the iron fist alexander cemented this resolve, and it proved to be the catalyst for sam's violent departure from the band of depraved perfumers and their grotto. he's not afraid to kill living jars if they're trying to punch the shit out of him, but as far as actually hunting them goes he won't abide it.

[koeiasequoia]

Koeia Growing Magic Item

Chimera Horn Collar: A black leather collar, lined with soft red fur from a chimera's mane, in place of a tag is a chunk of teal horn

Item Level 1: While wearing this adorable leather collar, you may take the help action as a reaction on another creature's turn anytime an ally within 5 ft of you would make a skill check in which you are proficient. You gain advantage on checks to maintain concentration on [Hunter's Mark]. You can summon the teal horns of your master to grace your head, this adds +1 to intimidate checks (can turn on/off at will with no time limit)

Item Level 2: Can cast [Shield] and [Absorb Elements] at 1st level a shared number of times = 1/2 of your proficiency bonus rounded up . You restore 1 use per short rest and all uses on a long rest. You can make weapons from horn magic, these weapons deal the type and damage of associated weapons; they count as magic for the purposes of overcoming resistances, and they are considered as simple/martial weapons. Creating or dismissing one of these counts as a weapon draw object interaction; weapons have a +value equal to 1/2 of your proficiency bonus rounded down. These weapons disappear at the end of your turn if they are not in your hand.

Item Level 3: Gain the ability [Chimera's Rage]. If you have Barbarian's [Rage] as well, you can activate or maintain both in the same bonus action, and you can automatically enter [Chimera's Rage] if you were already in Barbarian's [Rage] when you become bloodied. [Chimera's Rage] doesn't break [Hunter's Mark], Barbarian's [Rage] still does

Item Level 4: Regain 1 use of [Unleash Incarnation] per short rest, If there are no enemies within melee reach of your Echo then it can make a ranged attack on a creature within 120ft of you that both of you can see, this attack deals 1d8 + your Dex modifier. Upcasting [Hunter's Mark] increases the damage to 2d6 for 3rd level, 3d6 for 5th, 4d6 for 7th, and 5d6 for 9th level slots. Once per long rest, you may cast [Hunter's Mark] at 5th level without expending a spellslot

Item Level 5: Can cast [Teal Wind Strike] 3 times per long rest. Additionally, this collar holds 3 charges, which recharge each night at midnight. While attuned to this collar, you may expend a single charge to cast the [Blink] spell, or expend 3 charges to cast the [Teleport] spell. When cast in this way, these spells do not require a spell slot or material components. [Hunter's Mark] can be used with 1 other concentration spell. Increase the range at which you land a critical hit by +1

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[Chimera's Rage] - as a Bonus Action while you are not wearing Heavy Armor, when you are at 1/2hp or when you land a critical hit, enter a focused rage that gives you Fire and Force damage resistance, adds a d4 of fire damage, at 9th level also adds a d4 of force damage, and then at 17th level upgrades both d4s to d6s. While [Chimera's Rage] is active you heal equal to half your proficiency bonus rounded up at the beginning of each turn.

[Teal Wind Strike]

Magic Collar Perk

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: 30 feet

Components: S, M (a melee weapon made of Lynch's Horn Magic)

Duration: Instantaneous

You flourish the weapon used in the casting and then vanish to strike like a blaze. Choose up to five creatures you can see within range. Make a melee spell attack against each target. On a hit, a target takes 3d10 fire and 3d10 force damage.

You can then teleport to an unoccupied space you can see within 5 feet of one of the targets you hit or missed.

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Curse: This collar is cursed, and becoming attuned to it extends the curse to you. As long as you remain cursed, you are unwilling to part with the collar, keeping it within reach at all times. While cursed in this way, each time you are praised by an ally, you gain 1d4 psychic stimulation

[finitehearts]

Well, the geto thoughts chase me to bed now

[number1villainstan]

[based off of this JJK/RGU crossover post]

"Does this feel...inelegant to anyone else?" Saionji asks as the crowd watches the outsiders bound upwards to fight End of the World.

"How do you mean?" Juri says next to him.

"Like--" Saionji's hands fly around like they're combing the air for the right words. He's still wearing the same thing he was wearing in Wakaba's dorm room. "Like, you know, we're dealing with this strange problem none of us can properly articulate, and suddenly these outsiders come in to be like 'oh yeah, your chairman's some kind of ghost-demon-thing'--"

"Curse," Nanami reminds him.

"Right, a curse. Whatever. And then the outsiders, after they're like 'your chairman's a curse', they somehow disable him long enough to evacuate everyone on campus and then go up to fight him and solve all our problems for us. Like some weird deus ex machina that's only possible through an insane series of coincidences." Touga hms behind him, but Saionji ignore him. "And then you end up with like--character arcs left unfinished, symbols gone to waste, thematic lessons never learned. Like if, I don't know, we were studying the Iliad or something in lit, like if someone just resurrected Patroclus in the middle of all the fighting. Or one of the gods just plucked Helen away from Troy and put her back with Menelaus."

("Did Helen even want to be with Menelaus?" Anthy murmurs to herself, unheard by most.)

Saionji rubs the back of his neck. "You know. That sort of deal. Deus ex machina, interrupted story, unsatisfying conclusion."

Miki stares at him. "But we're not in a story. We're real people. Right?"

"I--well--" Saionji sighs. "Yeah. You're right. Sounds weird now that I say it out loud. Never mind."

[tricksterlatte]

Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?

[crickwater]

I don't know if this is a hot take but halsin is hands down the worst companion and that could be easily solved by having him join you at the beginning of act 2 and giving him literally anything to do in act 3 except hit on you

[rubia-peregrinart]

area woman decides to play the video game and subjects OC to one of the most unfortunate isekais to be found

[batsplat]

this is about medvedev right. he can win again! or at least get to the final and break your heart again

https://www.tumblr.com/batsplat/765495288853053440

yes... and he's perfectly capable of getting to another final and breaking my heart (if there's any of it left), but WINNING one of these things? would require that pasty germanic stick to lose a match on hard court again at some point... and if it's not him it'll be chucky chucklehead, or an exhumed corpse powered by magic water crystals coming back for one final hurrah. you don't win slams serving like that either and that's been in decline for quite a while now, kinda have to wonder whether the shoulder might just be fucked. he's not played well outside of isolated patches this year, see the lack of a single trophy to his name - the ao run was a bit of a miracle and he STILL didn't win that. so at a certain point... with his style of play and with his frame, the biological clock is gonna get him sooner rather than later. the top of the game feels firmly locked up again (if it ever wasn't), and if there's a weak link slam it's probably rg. it's fine, at least he got a slam. I mean, he's really way too good to not be a multi slam winner and I wish his only slam hadn't been immediately followed up by the most heartbreaking slam final defeat imaginable, but it's fine. I'm over it. it's fine