#once we got to that chorus everyone jumped in singing straight from the soul

[the-uncursed-one]

Me and the homies listening to a song we all like -

Everyone Initially:

*not singing out of fear of being seen as weird*

Everyone two minutes later:

“ALL THESE THOUGHTS RUNNIN' THROUGH MY HEAD

ARM ON FIRE, VEINS BURNIN' RED

FRUSTRATION IS GETTIN' BIGGER

BANG, BANG, BANG, PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER”

[alolowrites]

Serenade

Summary: Your sweet boyfriend serenades for you outside your balcony one night at the U.A. dorms.

Author’s note: Inspiration came from Ben E. King’s song “Stand By Me”. 

~~~ 

You tapped your pencil against the open math textbook sitting on your desk.

Your tongue peaked out from the corner of your mouth as you tried, unsuccessfully, to solve the equation racing through your mind. Breathing through your nose, you leaned back against your chair and glanced at your phone charging on your left. When you grabbed it, the dark screen disappeared to show a picture of you and Kaminari huddled together; little snowflakes peppered around you both and your lips curved into a soft smile.  

Denki Kaminari, your wonderful, easygoing boyfriend of almost three years.

You remembered the first time you spoke with him. The ringing bell signal that it was lunchtime so you and your friends left your classroom to head over to the cafeteria. Down the hallway emerged an excited Kaminari from his homeroom. He casually walked out backwards with his arms behind his hand while talking to Kirishima and Sero. As you chatted away with your friends, you didn’t pay close attention to your surroundings and accidentally bumped into the boy.

“Whoa, there,” Kaminari quickly turned around and you mentally gasped. A pair of tuscan sun eyes blessed your field of vision making you go still for a second. He cocked his head to the side like an adorable golden retriever puppy as an embarrassed smile crept on his face. “Sorry about that!”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t looking.”

“Same here,” he replied before coolly running his hand through his spiky hair and throwing you a wink. “But I’m glad I wasn’t since I could have missed my chance crashing into a lovely angel like yourself.”

The giggles erupting behind you did not help the blush growing on your face. You shyly smiled at him and waved goodbye, continuing your walk to the cafeteria. However, you snuck a glance over your shoulders to see Kaminari still staring right back at you. Since then, the hero-in-training waited for you outside the hallways once the lunch bell rang and walked with you to the cafeteria. Sometimes he carried your books. Other times he dramatically bowed at you while saying ‘m’lady’ and offered his arm as well.

How could you say no to that?

As days turned into weeks, Kaminari decided to surprise you when he nervously asked you out on a lunch date on the school grounds. One kiss later, you two remained as one of the strongest couples despite following different paths at U.A. You were in class 3-D on the general education track; being a hero was not your goal and you were okay with that. Kaminari, on the other hand, belonged to the famous class 3-A where only the best hero students trained to become future Pro Heroes.

Your relationship with Kaminari had their highs and lows, but you two struck through them all. One thing you loved about the electric teen was his grand romantic gestures. He had zero shame displaying his devotion to you in public, taking pride that you were his girlfriend even though he thought he was a complete bumbling idiot.

Tonight was one of those grand moments from him.

As you focused your attention to the math problem again, you heard Kaminari cry out your name outside your balcony.  

“My angel, this one’s for you!” He shouted at the top of his lungs and you raised a curious eyebrow from your seat.

“When the night has come and the land is dark…” Kaminari started singing loudly and slightly off-key that you stifled your laughter. Your ears perked up to the mellow sounds of the cello and guiro instruments playing in the background. Losing interest in your homework assignment, you listened to your boyfriend’s sweet voice echoing outside your balcony.

“So darling, darling stand by me, oh stand by me,” he belted out the chorus with so much passion that you certainly knew everyone on this campus heard him. Pushing the chair back, you strolled to your balcony with a large smile on your face. 

Your hand gripped the handle and before you opened the glass door—

“You idiot!”

You paused momentarily to register the new voice that boomed into the air. Shaking your head, you slid the door open and stepped out into the chilly, night air. On your right, you saw your friend Akira’s fist angrily shake downwards.

“You’re singing for the wrong balcony!” Akira huffed and pointed her finger at your direction. “She’s one window down—“ As if sensing you, Akira swung her head your way and rolled her eyes. “Your boyfriend really is a piece of work.”

You snorted. “I got this, go back inside.”

“I told you it was the next one down,” Kirishima blurted from below while Jirou laughed at the scene. Akira muttered something under her breath as she stomped back inside her room. An amused smile appeared on your face and you shuffled closer to the rail. Leaning down, you saw Kaminari repeatedly slapping his head while some of his classmates trying to comfort him. Emphasis on some since you caught a snickering Sero filming the moment on his iPhone.

“Denki,” you hollered at the embarrassed hero student. Kirishima shook his friend’s shoulders and your boyfriend glanced up at you. His breath hitched as the full moon illuminated your captivating presence. He mentality pinched himself to make sure this was not a dream because you were just a magnificent piece of artwork in his eyes.

You flashed him an encouraging smile that melted his heart. “You still have the second half of the song to finish.”

A cheerful grin emerged on his lips and Kaminari winked at you. He gestured for his friends to start the music again while you readied yourself to be serenaded by him. Todoroki’s hands effortlessly glided against the cello’s strings, occasionally glancing between Kirishima and Kaminari. Jirou softly strummed her fingers on the acoustic guitar and the red-headed hero eagerly scratched the guiro to the beat.

“If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall. All the mountains should crumble to the sea,” he sang with both arms extended wide open. As he regained his confidence, Kaminari sauntered forward, adding a little shake for some pizzazz and you giggled at his playful theatrics. Placing his right hand over his heart, he serenaded, “And darling, darling, stand by me. Oh stand by me…”

From the corner of your eye, you spotted Uraraka rush behind your boyfriend and tapped his shoulder. The young woman clasped both hands together, concentrating very hard to safely levitate her classmate towards you. Kaminari yelped as his feet left the ground, but swiftly masked it as he floated closer to his enchanting angel.

When he grabbed the rail, Uraraka released her hold over him. Standing up straight with your shoulders back, you strolled to your boyfriend who hopped onto your balcony. He smoothed away the wrinkles on his fitted black dress shirt and met you halfway. Near or far, you didn’t fail to recognize the pure admiration radiating in his golden eyes. His love for you never wavered despite being together for almost three years; it just grew stronger every day and Kaminari always made sure to shower you with his abundant affection any chance he got.

Jumping into his arms, he immediately embraced you into a tight hug. You seized his lips to share a passionate kiss and felt his hands grip your waist. Kaminari deepened the kiss by bending you down, making your hands slide around his neck for support. He brought you back up and you broke away to catch your breath. Kaminari leaned his forehead against yours while his eyes pierced into your soul.  

“I love you so much,” he whispered, making your heart fluttered as if you bumped into him that first time in the hallway.

“I love you too, you damn goofball,” you chuckled before burying yourself against his warm chest. You never wanted this moment to end. You were on cloud nine and nothing could bring you out of this. Everything was beyond perfect—

“So dude, when are we getting paid?” Sero shouted from the ground.

Well…almost perfect.

~~~

Thank you again for reading!

[iammamenow]

🔮Dream Snippet💤

This Evening: 'Karl Satan', featuring Misha Collins

My friend and I are avid metalheads. So much so, in fact, that we concluded that if we'd have known each other before our officially meeting in college, we would've led drastically different lives for the better. Our music tastes made us the quintessential outcasts throughout our childhood, in our differently placed yet all too similar environments of the unforgiving grammar school setting. And if we'd have been together, instead of rebelling alone? Hell. We would've been fucking merciless; scaring off all those who tried to subdue us with 'Slipknot'.

Luckily, we didn't miss each other entirely. It was she that managed to get tickets to our local Knotfest, and since then we've practically been inseparable. We have a whole list of other acts we NEED to see. Jinjer, Cherry Bombs, System of A Down... Killswitch Engage is one of the more recent ones added to the list.

And it keeps on building from there.

Blame the die-hard fan in me, but I even go so far as to dream of the concerts we'll see, and the bands that'll be headlining it. Very rarely is it ever as detailed with the opening number.

So you can only imagine my surprise when this little nightly fantasy in particular came in and dropped kick the bomb on me from up close instead of merely from up high.

Because as much as I love metal, Supernatural comes in at a very, very close second.

Onto the dream! That way you'll see what I mean.

My friend and I are already at the venue. We gave up the idea of seats and smuggled our way into the nearest pit where there was already a circle forming, whirling in rhythm to the revving up of the amps testing out the guitars. It had been years since I'd been in one. I jump in, just in time for the wave that comes our way. My friend decides to watch from the sidelines. To my chaotic, she is the zen. Even at a metal concert, where we both inevitably lose our shit, but in our own way.

Soon the tests of chords cease from the guitars, the rhythmic hits from each individual drum and symbol cut. That long drone of bassy silence fills the entire place with that unsaid but solid presence of a queue - someone's about to go on.

The crowd cheers. My friend and I - along with the whole circle pit - turn to look at the stage and do the same. Naturally. No matter who's up there, you cheer. It's a metal concert, for Satan's sake. More than likely, every fucking band is gonna knock your ass out. I haven't been proven wrong if that yet.

And I certainly wasn't in my dream.

The five souls that come walking across the stage are oh so gothically dressed, it warms my heart to it's original sad core. The drama in the abundance of buckles, glinting a brilliant gold in the overhead stage lights; then the overall theatricality of the fact that their whole theme just mirrors that of my favorite horror movie 'Hellraiser' and it's main antagonists, The Cenobites. I was ready. I was waiting, already wanting the onslaught of their sound that I just knew had to be fucking brutal. I mean look at the way they're dressed! We were in for it.

Oh, we were.

I was.

The one stopping in front of the mic had an elaborate coverall mask on, save for the bottom half of his face. And when he took it off to reveal the rest of it, everyone cried out in bloody shock and praise.

I just went quiet.

My friend yelled out for me the "holy SHIT" that was already on my lips and screeching in my head when the now unmasked figure introduced himself as none other than the angel in a trenchcoat. The man that plays him, that is.

Misha Collins

I couldn't tune out the world around me if I tried. I didn't want to. Not even if I was in absolute shock. I do not allow myself to fade off into some haze or other ethereal realm when it comes to events like this. I want to be there, in that moment; one that I made it all this way for. For all concerts generally. For metal concerts specifically.

I just need to be there. All there.

And man, in that moment, was I fucking glad I was.

After making himself known, Misha turns to the band and introduces them as 'Karl Satan'. I know there was a deeper joke in there, i just know it. But I was too busy laughing at the name alone to even dissect it any further. Frankly, so was the audience. Such a hearty chorus brought a smile to Misha's lips.

As he readied the mask to be put back on again, he made one final claim as himself to say that he formed this cover band to try his hand at "this music shtick", just like the rest of his cast mates from the show. Personally, I never had any doubt that he had something like this in his artillery; something akin to a band or music act. But like this? Hell no. Hell. No! Hence making it all the more lovely of a surprise.

With that, the mask went back on, and he sent a nod the drummers way before the lights faded out, leaving us in an anticipating darkness. Almost as quickly as it set in for us did it get fucking shot with the sharp bash of the symbols, joined by the aftershocks of the snares.

It's starting. Holy fuck, it's starting!

The rhythm was classic, dangerously revving up to what you could literally taste to be a sweet drop. Above all, it was familiar. My friend and I were in perfect sync with Misha, when through the mask he screamed through gnashed teeth:

"THE YEARS I PUT INTO THIS!!"

His leadership was seamless; effortless. Without question, you would believe that he had done this before. With the headbangs intertwined in the thrumming veins of both the percussive guitar riff and the drums, he would channel his power back and forth. First he would go, then the audience.

The circle pit was a whole world of it's own. No. It was a black hole, sucking in other fans who caught a glance at it, and soon as they did, wanted to join the fray. I even got my friend to come in and join me in the air, where they hoisted me up once the center of the circle started to disappear with the amount of people swallowing up all the empty space. We were floating orbs in this fanatic atmosphere. Two circulating asteroids in the midst of a hailstorm of meteors, heading straight for the center our universe - the stage.

It was fucking AMAZING.

And so utterly filled with Misha-esque quips of humor and theatricality, making it feel all the more REAL. For example, as the opening number progressed, he would add little bits of harsh criticism of his own voice and caliber of scream. Then after the next song, he would transition with a story on how he auditioned to play a demon for Supernatural in the first place, and has since taken the rejection hard. "Can you tell? I started singing about it! Singing? Screaming? You get the idea. Yeah, you get it. I know you do". He then laughs suddenly, throwing his head back. He brings the mic up to follow that of his mouth, facing skyward. "Wait, wait! How shitty would it be if I would've actually gotten that fucking role if I'd have just done THIS?! Just SCREAM AT THEM?!" Like second nature does his Castiel voice come out. He even took of the mask again so that he could throw on the whole audience that quintessential doe eyed gaze of the angel's, complete with the head tilt. "Would you call me an angel then, Dean?" His own guffaw, bringing Misha back. "There you go. That's how Cas got his voice. He kept screaming into the void *Castiel voice* and came back out with this... As for the others, I can't speak for them. They wanna speak two octaves below their normal voice, who am I to say anything? Trick question. I'm the one who can't say anything because I'm too busy getting a sore throat all the time. Thanks, Cas. Love you, too. That bitch".

Forget what I said. AMAZING doesn't cut it. It was fucking GOLD.

And above all, it was a fucking DREAM.

I woke up eventually, and here I am three or so days later writing about it, still reeling from it.

I have only to conclude that the two things that make me happy are what seems to be a mirror with it's two sides, representing one thing in the reflection: the one thing that made me happy back then, and the one that makes me happy now.

I thought I had to outgrow one. Just like I think currently that I'll soon have to outgrow the other.

But do I? Do I really?

They go so well together.

Perhaps the real question is, what if they both don't wanna leave?

[theycallmemoosey]

Get Some Sleep

Dan x Reader 

A/N: This is another request that I had the absolute pleasure of doing - this was by far one of my favourites to have written. I really hope this is back up to standards since my long hiatus that wasn’t really a hiatus. Thanks for staying and supporting me, guys, it really means a lot to me. Hope you enjoy! Moose :)

------------------------------------------------------------------

Time seemed to go on forever as you stared at the laptop in front of you. This essay wasn’t going to write itself, and apparently, neither were you. 

“Y/N? Are you going to give up on that yet?” 

“Not yet” 

“You’ve been working on that for hours now”

“It requires a lot of attention” 

“So do I” 

You turned round in your chair, laughing at Dan as he sat on the end of the bed crossed legged, looking at you with the famous puppy eyes when he wanted something badly. 

“Dan, go away. I need to finish this” 

“Ok ok,” Dan laughed, “Just don’t burn yourself out, I want you nice and energised for tomorrow night ok?” 

“Yes, yes…I know” you sighed, thinking about the film premiere that Dan and Phil had invited been invited to, getting a plus one each. They both decided that the only person they truly wanted there was you, so you agreed to go. You felt Dan place his hands on your shoulders, leaning down and placing a kiss on your head. 

“You want anything?” 

“Have we got any chocolate?” 

“No…” Dan pondered in thought,  “I can offer you sweets?” 

“Yeah,” you replied, “Just bring me sugar” 

Dan chuckled, “On it” 

You heard Dan walk away and you sighed and rubbed your eyes, trying to think of something - anything - to write. You really needed to go to sleep ready for the big event tomorrow night. You had received your dress from the designer that approached you and the boys, and it was all set up on the front of the wardrobe, designed to match Dan’s suit. It was honestly one of the nicest dresses you had ever seen, and you weren’t really into the whole dresses and makeup thing. Dan had organised someone to do your hair and make up for you, saying how it was such an important event and he wanted to show everyone how beautiful you were. You really didn’t want to disappoint Dan, but you also didn’t want to disappoint your professor. 

“Heya Y/N” 

You turned around at the sound of a different voice behind you, “Hey Phil. You ok?”

“Yeah, Dan told me to bring you these” he said, handing you the packet of your favourite sweets. 

“Thanks, Philly” you smiled at him gratefully, following his gaze to your laptop, “I know…I haven’t really gotten much further. I’m just having a complete mind blank”

“Need any help?” 

“No, no. It’s ok Phil. Thank you” 

“Well, Dan and I are going to film a Sims video…will you be ok for a couple hours?” 

“I’m not a child, Phil” you laughed, “I think I can look after myself for a few hours” 

“Alright, alright” Phil laughed with you, squeezing your hand before he left.

You sighed and turned back around, opening the packet of sweets and putting one in your mouth straight away. You had to get this done tonight, even if it took you all night long.

———————————————————————————

“Night Phil” Dan yawned out as he walked into your bedroom, stopping as he saw you in the same position you were in nearly 3 hours ago, “Y/N?” 

You turned around, surprised, “What-yeah?”

“You’re still working? What did I say about burning yourself out?”

“I’ll sleep during the day tomorrow…the premiere isn’t until the evening and I don’t have to start getting ready until about 4. I can sleep until then”

Dan sighed, walking up to you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders, pressing a light kiss to your neck, “How much longer do you think you have?”

“Umm…” you closed the lid on your laptop and picked it up, turning around to face Dan, “all night? I’ll go and work in the kitchen or the front room…let you sleep” 

“No. You know the rule. You don’t sleep, I don’t sleep...unless I have an important meeting in the morning. Coincidently, I don’t have an important meeting in the morning so I can stay awake with you until you go to bed” 

“Dan, I may not be going to bed until very late the next morning” 

“Fine. I’m not going to sleep until you do. Understood?”

“Dan…” 

“Understood?!” 

You sighed, smiling lightly, “Fine. But…if you fall asleep, just know that I will do anything, and I mean anything, to wake you up” 

“Is that a challenge?”

“Only if you make it one”

Dan smirked, getting onto the bed and placing his laptop on his lap, “Okie dokie” 

———————————————————————————

You felt your head drop down and your eyes snap open. You quickly checked the time at the top of your laptop. You had easily been asleep for 20 minutes. 

“You ok?” Dan asked, head turning from his laptop to you as he noticed you drift off into sleep. 

“Yeah, fine. Why?”

Dan chuckled, “Don’t pretend I didn’t see you fall asleep, monkey” 

“Shush. I’m working” 

Dan smiled, biting his lip as he sat there in thought. He quietly slipped past the desk as he headed out the door, heading to the front room. He grabbed all the blankets and pillows he could find in the front room, grabbing the extra blankets from the sofa in the office. Dan tiptoed back in, the only sound in the room the sound of the keys on the keyboard tapping away as you continued to write this never-ending essay. Dan pulled the chair back slightly, pulling you away from the desk with it, startling you slightly, 

“Lean forward” 

“What? Why?” You asked, trying to turn around but Dan swivelled the chair back around so you couldn’t see him. 

“Just lean forward Y/N” Dan persisted, giggling quietly. 

You sighed but obeyed him, shuffling forward on the seat and leaning forward. You furrowed your eyebrows as you felt Dan place a few small cushions behind your back. 

“Dan?” 

“Shh. Carry on working now. Don’t mind me” 

You leant back on the cushions, feeling so much more comfortable than before. You watched as Dan began moving the mirror and the rail behind you, grabbing a few elastic bands as he passed you. You shook your head and continued typing, pausing now and again to think. Dan continued pulling furniture around into a formation and then started picking the blankets up off of the ground and tying them around the furniture with the elastic bands. You stopped working when Dan pulled the desk forward, tucking the blanket behind the back and then pushed it back. It was only then that you realised Dan had made a blanket fort around you. 

“Dan, what in the actual-“

“Shhhh. Carry on with your work” Dan giggled like a schoolgirl, taking a picture of you in his ‘expertly’ built blanket fort, “Just wanted to make sure you are comfortable. Don’t want you getting uncomfortable now, do we?”

You laughed, shaking your head at his weirdness, watching as he sat back down in his previous position on the bed, sliding underneath the covers this time. Sighing, you smiled, staring at his adorable features as he happily and casually scrolled through whatever was on his laptop. 

“Come on,” you mumbled to yourself as you turned back to the laptop, shuffling back into the cushions on the chair, you began slowly typing away at the keyboard once again. 

————————————————————————

You groaned, dropping your head down onto the desk as you had a complete mental block. Dan snapped his head back up after hearing a groan followed by a thump, now comfortable in his pyjamas bottoms and hoodie in bed while watching the latest series of his new obsession on Netflix. The blanket fort was still intact, but you had discarded the majority of the cushions that were previously supporting your back, finding the upright posture too tedious this late at night. 

“Y/N, come on now. It’s the next morning already…has been for a few hours now…” Dan trailed off, taking the headphone out of his ear as he checked the time, “come to bed? Please?”

You shook your head, sitting back up and squinting your eyes at the screen as if it would magically make words appear, “too much to do. Can’t sleep until done. Must finish before sun rises”

“Uhh…” Dan started to laugh, “Ms.Android, can I have my girlfriend back please?” 

You smiled and rolled your eyes, although you were quickly back to typing. 

Dan hummed and stared at you for a few minutes, lost in a trance as he watched you type, think, and then type again. He smiled as an idea came to his head, quickly unplugging his headphones as he began getting out of bed. You heard Dan walk around the room, grabbing things from various places but you couldn’t see that well, the blanket fort blocking your view. You thought nothing of it and continued typing before you suddenly heard music come from behind you. Confused, you turned around in the chair, ducking slightly to see Dan stood on the bed dancing awfully to ‘I’m Like A Bird’. 

“Dan! Shush! Phil is trying to sleep!” You scolded.

Dan ignored you and began lip-syncing to the song, holding a bundled pair of socks in his hand as a microphone as he pretended to serenade you. You tried to stifle a laugh as Dan nearly tripped off the bed, swiftly recovering and making it into a dance move. Just as the chorus was about to start, Dan jumped off the bed, throwing the socks over to the other side of the bedroom as he pointed at you, trying to gain his balance. 

“Dan, don’t you dare. Phil is sleeping!” 

“I’M LIKE A BIRD” Dan sang, moving his arms in an aeroplane motion, pretending to be a bird, “I’LL ONLY FLY AWAY”

“Dan! Shush!” You cried out, laughing so much your stomach began to hurt.

“I DON’T KNOW WHERE MY SOUL IS” Dan held his hand out to you, asking you not-so-silently to dance with him.

“Dan, no” you hushed him, still smiling and giggling.

Dan rolled his eyes and grabbed your hand, pulling you up and into a tight embrace, “I DON’T KNOW WHERE MY HOME IS”

You gave up, sighing into his chest as he began to sway to the music, his grip not releasing on you.

“And baby all I need for you to know is” Dan whispered, “sing with me” 

You gave in and the two of you finished the song, Dan twirling you round a few times and dancing with you like little kids. 

As the song finished, the two of you were panting from dancing and laughing so much. You were sure that Phil was awake, but Dan made you forget that anyone else in the world existed. 

Dan kissed your forehead, “I love you, monkey”

“I love you too, Danny” you smiled, giving him a tight embrace before letting go and trying to retire back to the desk. However, Dan hadn’t let go of your wrist and pulled you back to him. 

“Please, finish off soon. Don’t kill yourself” 

“I won’t. I promise. I think I’m nearly done anyway” 

Dan sighed in defeat but smiled, “Okay. Kick that essay’s ass” 

You laughed, turning back to the desk, “I’ll try”

————————————————————————

You groaned, rubbing your eyes as you neared the end of the essay. The time on your laptop read 4:38. You had been working on this god forbidden essay for nearly 9 hours now and you wondered why the hell you even went to university. You turned your head, ducking down to see under the blanket fort in an attempt to see how Dan was doing. His head was slumped down, one hand limp on the laptop and the other crossed over his body as it rested his shoulder. You smiled, grateful that he tried so desperately to stay awake with you. You were so lucky to have him in your life, but he was also beyond lucky to have you. Your smiled turned from adoring to mischievous as you remembered the agreement the two of you had earlier that night. Silently, you crept out from under the still standing blanket fort and out of the bedroom, before quietly heading down to the kitchen. Dan slept peacefully, his laptop playing away to itself. His sleep was suddenly disrupted as he felt sharp, cold bursts of water on his face. Dan jolted up from his sleep, worried more about you than anything, before spotting you next to the bed, giggling as you pointed the water gun at his face.

“Y/N? WHAT THE HELL?” Dan groaned, wiping the water from his face, his eyebrows furrowed in anger and confusion. 

“Do you not remember what I said earlier?” 

“What?”

You kept giggling, pumping the water gun back up, “We made a deal earlier…do you not remember?”

“WHAT? NO!” An agitated Dan exclaimed, still looking at you in confusion.

“I said that if you fell asleep, I would do anything to wake you up. And so, here I am waking you up. We’re in this together”

Dan groaned, seeming really pissed off as he stomped out of the room, assumably to the bathroom to dry off. You felt bad and sighed, setting the water gun back on the bedside table as you sat back down at the desk. You started typing away again, guilt setting in as you kept replaying how mad Dan was earlier. You heard Dan come back into the bedroom, not bothering to look from underneath the blanket fort as you felt too bad. However, all guilt was forgotten when you felt a load of water hit you in the face. You remained sat in the chair, mouth hung open in shock as you processed what just happened. All you heard was Dan giggling once again, pumping the water gun back up. 

“DAN!” You shouted, trying to hide under the blanket fort as he squirted more water at you. 

“You don’t get away with shooting me with a water gun without me getting you back” 

You groaned and leapt towards the bedside table, grabbing the gun you previously laid there. Laying on the floor, you shot Dan as he continued to shoot you, the both of you laughing as Dan ran to hide behind the bed. The two of you began to have a full-on water war, the two of you laughing as you both got soaked, the bedroom getting soaked with you. Eventually, Dan had you back against the door as he kept shooting, but you grabbed the handle and ran out into the hallway, running down the stairs as quickly as you could. You heard Dan call your name as he processed what had just happened, and then his footsteps running down the stairs. As you hid behind the sofa in the front room, the only light from the moon shining through the large windows, when you heard Dan’s footsteps come to a halt.

“Y/N??? Where are youuuu?” Dan called out breathlessly, tiptoeing through the room as he searched for you, gun in hand and ready to shoot. You accidentally sneezed, silently cursing to yourself as you heard Dan run towards you. You shuffled on the floor towards the other end of the sofa, but you felt water hit your back, making you squeal. You bolted to the other side of the room and shot Dan back, both of you standing your ground as you continued to shoot each other, laughing loudly as you were both dripping in water. Clearly, the two of you didn’t realise how loud you were being as you didn’t hear Phil come downstairs. 

“What the hell are you two-“ He turned the light on and all of you froze, Dan and you looking like two toddlers being caught by their mum stealing cookies from the kitchen. Phil stood there, confusion evident on his face. 

“Guys, why? It’s 5 o’clock in the bloody morning!” 

You and Dan looked at each other, and you tried desperately not to laugh as you realised just how soaked the two of you were. Phil noticed too. 

“Oh my god, guys…look at the state of you two! AND THE FLOOR!” 

You bit your lip, lowering you gun as Dan did the same, the two of you feeling guilty that you woke up Phil, who was just trying to sleep. 

“I’m not cleaning this up” Phil said, turning to leave, but he paused and turned his head back round to look at the two of you, heads lowered, “And for the love of god, go to bed”

You heard Phil mutter something as he sleepily climbed the stairs back up to his bedroom. You looked at Dan, who was just staring at you and trying so desperately to hold in his laughter.

You giggled softly, “Truce?” 

“Truce” Dan confirmed, taking the gun from you, “I’ll clean this up. Go and finish your essay, then we’ll go to bed. Sound like a plan?” 

You nodded and kissed Dan gently. As you tried to pull away, you felt Dan lean forward, his lips still on yours. Laughing, you backed away quickly, forcing him to pull away. 

“I’ll be all yours in…30 minutes. I really don’t have very much left to do. Okay?” 

Dan smiled, “Okay” 

——————————————————————

An hour later, you emerged from the blanket fort, stretching your arms up in the air. Dan looked up from his laptop, eyes filled with anticipation. 

“All done” you smiled, walking over to the bed and flopping down next to him. You saw Dan smile excitedly and place his laptop on the floor, and hurried to shuffle further down into the covers. He stopped as he noticed you laying completely still, your breathing steady and the single sound of a tiny snore came from you. He smiled as he gently pulled the duvet from underneath you and placed It on top of the two of you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in closer to him.

“Night monkey” he whispered in your ear, placing a kiss on your temple as he placed his head above yours. 

That was the best sleep you ever had.

——————————————————————

You carefully walked down the stairs in your heels and long, designer dress. You felt amazing. You had a long sleep with Dan all day and Phil woke you up when it was time to go and get your hair done. Dan and Phil had dressed smartly in their suits, surprisingly just pain black tuxes with ties to match the colour of your dress, each with ‘D&P’ embroidered on them. The two of them stared as you appeared in front of them, your appearance a brand new look to them.

“Holy crap, Y/N!” Dan whistled, grabbing your waist and pulling you towards him, kissing you swiftly before pulling away and staring at you up and down, “I can’t believe how lucky I am” 

“Neither can I,” Phil remarked, also staring at you in shock, “You look absolutely incredible” 

“Thank you, Phil. You look rather good too” you smiled, hearing Dan gasp.

“What about me?” Dan whined, giving you puppy eyes. 

“Yeah, I guess you don’t look bad either” you shrugged, heading past both of them and towards the kitchen, looking for the bag you had been given by the designer along with the dress. 

“It’s a good thing I love her” Dan remarked as Phil continued laughing from your sarcastic comment. 

You walked back into the hallway where the boys were waiting for you, still checking their hair and suits in the mirror.

“Shall we get going then? Don’t want to be late do we?” 

You all clambered into the taxi, the boys helping you get the train of your dress into the car, careful not to tear it with your heels. You were all chatting excitedly on the way to Trafalgar Square, where the premiere was behind held. You couldn’t help but feel extremely anxious. The boys had done world tours and had been meeting large groups of adoring fans for years now, but you had only recently within the past year been introduced to the fandom. Admittedly, you weren’t necessarily welcomed at first but as Dan and Phil showed how much you really meant to them, they all began to warm up to you. 

“Hey, you ok? Dan placed his hand on your thigh, noticing you fiddle with your fingers. 

“Yeah. Yeah, good. Just nervous that's all. I haven’t done this before…” 

“Just stick with us, we’ll tell you what to do ok? It’s fine. Just relax and be yourself…everyone loves you. ‘Kay Monkey?”

You nodded, taking his hand in your sweaty one. You held on tightly as the taxi driver pulled up to the square and you saw all the fans behind the stands. Phil opened the door and got out first, receiving screams from some of his fans. You watched as he waved and you blew out a large breath as Dan got out, getting the same amount of screams from the fans. You heard him laugh with Phil, before he turned back round to the taxi, holding his hand out for you to take. 

“Ready?” 

You nodded and smiled, nervously taking his hand and getting out the car. You were overwhelmed by the screams you got, and you smiled and waved at a few girls who screamed your name. You laughed, tears welling up in your eyes from the nerves. 

“You’re doing great” Dan whispered into your ear, taking your waist and guiding you along to the red carpet. You watched Dan and Phil sign autographs and take selfies with a load of fans whilst you stood at the back and followed them. You were shocked when you heard your name being called from behind you. 

“Oh my god!! Y/N!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!” 

You smiled and waved, heading over to talk to them, “hey, guys. How are you?”

They kept screaming and you happily signed autographs and took selfies with them. Dan called your name as he and Phil were called over to take photos for the press. You held up a finger and took one last selfie with a younger fan, no older than 10. 

“You look like a princess!” She beamed, bouncing excitedly as her mum apologised. You knelt down to her height and spoke to her through the gap in the fences. 

“Thank you…would you like me to get Dan and Phil over here to take a picture?” 

She shook her head, “You’re my favourite” 

You smiled in surprise, gratefully squeezing her hand before heading back over to Dan and Phil. You stopped at the line where the press couldn’t take photos of you as Dan and Phil posed together for pictures. You smiled, immensely proud of the two of them. They had done so well for themselves and you couldn’t be happier to be in their lives. 

“Y/N!” Dan called out, his arm outstretched and his hand beckoning you over. 

You hesitated but walked over to him, Dan switching sides with you so you were in the middle. You didn’t quite know how to act and you tensed up, Dan noticing and quickly squeezing your waist, leaning down to whisper to you. 

“Just relax. You’re doing amazing, ok? Just smile. Hey, I’ll buy you pizza when we get home”

You laughed, relaxing slightly as you held onto Dan and Phil for dear life. You smiled for the press, all who kept shouting at you to “look here” and “you look beautiful, Y/N! This way!”

As you all finally made your way along the long line of press and signed more autographs, you walked hand in hand with Dan to the cinema, meeting a number of the film’s stars and other celebrities. It was fair to say you were starstruck. 

You absolutely loved the film, so much so you couldn’t stop talking about it on the way home. Dan and Phil kept sharing looks at the small child they seemed to have taken home instead of the usual, sarcastic girl they lived with. 

You couldn’t wait to get the heels off of your feet, dumping them at the front door and rushing to the bedroom, changing into your pyjama trousers and the most comfortable hoodie of Dan’s before heading into the front room. Dan and Phil were both sat in their suits, their jackets discarded and their ties loosened. You sat down practically on Dan’s lap, feeling his arms wrap around you tightly as Phil put Netflix on, switching it to Hell’s Kitchen.

“Ooooh yes, I could do with some Gordon Ramsay right now” Dan said excitedly, shuffling back further with you into a more comfortable position, kicking his shoes off onto the floor. 

The three of you sat and watched episode after episode, devouring your pizzas with ease, each commentating on the show. As the night went on, you relaxed into Dan’s embrace, placing your feet on Phil’s legs, who didn’t mind having them there at all. Slowly, you felt yourself fall into a peaceful sleep, Dan’s chest rising and lowering steadily helping you into the much-needed slumber. Dan lowered his head when he heard a small snore and giggled softly, careful not to wake you up, before kissing your head softly.

“Goodnight, Monkey. Get some sleep.”

[seoulscenarios]

College AU! Lee Felix

We’re finally on the home stretch, the end is near for this series!! thank you for the immense amount of support you guys are giving us it means the world xxx

-Major: Musical Theatre

-Minor: none, he has no time outside of rehearsals

-Sports: the same martial arts club as Woojin but he specialises in taekwondo, he’s the college’s star taekwondo player and even won them several medal in the nation championships he like a god on campus tbh,, also plays soccer but isn’t officially part of the team bc he has too many other commitments with his course though sometimes they do call him up if they’re in DIRE need of a player

-Clubs: film club, just bc he likes to watch films and listen to other people’s opinion of films tbh (and he can take naps if the film is boring lmao), is also the deputy of the musical theatre society so he has a lot of power of what musicals they covered

-Felix for the last time we’re NOT doing Wicked and if we ever did I point blank REFUSE to cast you as Glinda bc you are a “cute blonde”

-But pleeaaaaaaase I’ll do more vocal training!

-Felix NO, Glinda is a soprano and you struggle to hit even the alto notes most days

-ONE CHANCE

-NO

-Felix chose to do musical theatre bc it combines his love of singing and dancing and being completely over the top,, like have you ever seen a musical at least one character wasn’t kinda over the top

-When he was a kid his parents took him to see The Lion King and he was in awe of it that he decided that he wanted to be in musical theatre ever since then

-At first, he helped out backstage with props, makeup, costume etc. during his school years and it wasn’t until his first year of high school that the director encouraged him to actually audition

-Everyone was extremely shocked that the deep voiced backstage genius could actually sing extremely well,,, like who’d have thought that

-Whilst he wasn’t the best singer he still got cast in a supporting role and he had the time of his life,,, now he got to experience what the actors did when he put them through stuff and he even did his own damn makeup as well during rehearsals

-So yeah up until he graduated Felix went to star in other musicals put on by his school and by his last year he was finally made principal role and he was all big smiles when the cast list went up and he was beaming for days and went into rehearsals with a fully learned script that was all highlighted and sticky notes on the front with potential prop/costume/makeup ideas on he’s just a wholesome boy

-Tho nothing prepared him for the sheer STRESS of being the main character as well as helping out the younger kids, organising props and costumes AND choreographing (can confirm this is the worst and happened to me, it was HELL)

-So yeah, Felix loved musical theatre and was pretty much accepted straight away onto the college course bc of his bright personality and beautiful voice, not to mention he was pretty much an all rounder when it came to the industry so they were delighted to accept him

-However,,, felix missed the accommodation deadline so ended up messaging all the college facebook boards asking if anyone was looking for a flatmate or house share,,, it was chan who saw this and was like yes my son pls join me

-Chan and Felix have this weird father/son/best friend dynamic, like chan would always pack Felix with a lunchbox and water bc he knew that Felix would forget especially when he was rushing round bc he was nearly late for dance class but they also played video games and had wrestling matches in their dorm for ??? no reason ??

-One time Woojin walked in on them arm wrestling and he was like ??? is that how friendship is formed in Australia ??? how bizarre before helping himself to snacks as Felix lost and decided to flip Chan over taekwondo style and Woojin just watched as he munched on some Cheetos or something

-It was just a bit weird but they had come to accept it,,, besides Felix loved being looked after bc it meant he didn’t have to cook food or anything bc chan really enjoyed it lmao

-Felix’s favourite class by far was his dance class

-He was one of the star dancers of the group and loved to help out to choreograph routines for literally every dance number

-Like,, u need ballet for At The Ballet from A Chorus Line??? He’s got you covered. Jazz sequence for West Side Story? He got you COVERED

-He’s just a very talented boy,, though he admits that he may not be the best technically bc he hasn’t received formal dance training whilst at high school he just had the ability to pick up the dance quickly and wasn’t afraid to ask for help when he needed it

-Hell, he even dragged Minho after he finished class one day so he could get pointers on where  he could improve and Minho was like,,, fine but pls buy me coffee I’m DYING (yes Minho does have a coffee addiction,, it’s a problem tbh)

-Felix was an extremely talented kid but he got all shy whenever someone complimented his dancing, or his acting but ESPECIALLY his singing

-Bc even to this day,, he was still nervous about singing

-Like he knew he could sing,,, but in comparison to some of the other people on his course he wasn’t exactly the most confident in his singing ability

-He often went to the music practice rooms so he could practice his songs over and over again until his throat was sore and chan had to make him honey and lemon tea when he got back from practice

-Please protect this soft boy

-Also,,, you KNOW that the boys were his biggest fans whenever he was in shows

-His first project performance happened and he managed to get all of his friends tickets on the front row (how he did this was unknown to literally everyone bc it’s practically impossible)

-He was extremely nervous bc his friends had never seen him perform in a musical before and it was his FIRST college performance how could he not be nervous

-The project was a piece celebrating the different genres and songs from iconic musicals and Felix was the centre for the Rent portion

-(But can you just imagine Felix in Mark’s red and blue knitted sweater and wearing circle glasses whilst he dances to La Vie Boheme??? Okay it would be the best thing ever convince me otherwise)

-He needn’t have been worried bc as soon as he stood on stage and the music kicked in, he was Mark Cohen singing about the death of Bohemia and jumping around the stage like he was born to be there

-He doesn’t remember much of that performance bc he was whisked off stage to prepare for another song but he does remember how the audience (read: the boys) screamed his name as he ran off stage

-The rest of the show went incredibly well and as he came out for his bow, he saw Chan wiping a stray tear as Jeongin laughed at him and Felix had to stop himself from feeling the urge of crying bc his hyung was

-They waited for him as he collected all of his belongings from backstage, too lazy to wipe his makeup off figuring he could just do it home

-When he stepped into the auditorium, all 8 of them pulled him to a bone crushing hug for a good 5 minutes before he literally had to push them off him so he could BREATHE

-Chan pulled him for one more hug, mumbling into his neck about how proud he was of Felix and damn,,, Felix nearly started crying

-It wasn’t until Chan was prompted to let go off him so they could give him his flowers (Changbin claims he was coerced into it when he gave them to him but u know that he went and sought out the best flower shop the day before so they could get the flower bouquet ready for the next day uwu)

-Felix laughed when Changbin handed over the smile and just tapped his cheek, tilting it towards Changbin

-Changbin BLUSHED like hell before giving Felix a peck on the cheek

-Felix would like to go on record to say no he did not squeal happily when Seo Changbin kissed his cheek thank you that is a LIE

-Anyway all the other boys just hollered at them except Minho and Jeongin bc,,, affection??? No thank u

-After they had their little celebration, Chan and Woojin announced that they were taking them out for bbq bc of how well Felix performed and they all whooped in excitement, honestly thrilled that mum and dad were taking them out for food

-Jisung, walking to the bbq place: thank every deity under the sun I’ve not eaten a proper meal since I left home 4 months ago

-Minho: well, this might be your last

-Jisung: :O

-Minho: :)

-Legend has it that the 9 boys who entered the restaurant nearly fully cleared out the entire restaurant’s kitchen but it has yet to be confirmed, reports say, stay tuned in to see if it ever does (hint: it doesn’t)

-Your first meeting with Felix is very different and honestly, you wish to erase it from your memory

-You were part of the musical theatre department, focusing on the backstage aspect with particular focus on lighting and sound

-You knew of Felix, bc how could you not, but you never worked with him beyond getting prompts from the director as to when to light him or turn his mic on

-As much as Felix wanted to go and meet all the backstage crew when they were practicing all together it just wasn’t feasible bc he could not justify running to the sound box just to say hi right in the middle of practice

-And he didn’t have any time in between classes bc your classes were on at the same time as his

-The only time he got to at least have some form of greeting was when he waved at you so you could see what he looks like for your lighting cues

-Felix was sad bc he wanted to say hi and wish everyone good luck for the upcoming performance but he couldn’t as he was rushed off his feet with rehearsals and class bless his soul

-After the performance finished, some of the practical course students asked the backstage crew if they’d like to go to karaoke once they had tidied up

-Everyone agreed, tho u weren’t actually there bc you were in the lightbox above the stage but once you got there all your friends were like !!!!!! Y/N THEY INVITED US TO KARAOKE YOU HAVE TO COME

-You just rolled your eyes and let yourself be dragged towards the karaoke rooms

-At first, you were a bit awkward bc you had never hung out with the actual musical theatre kids as you mainly stuck with ur lighting crew buddies but you were willing to give them a chance

-The first few songs were a little bit serious and you were kinda bored so you went up to the machine and were like “let’s liven up the place a bit”

-Well it was at this point that Felix walked into the room, late bc he was going through some notes with the director, and saw you on top of the table screaming your lungs out to American Idiot whilst everyone screamed along with you

-Well Felix wasn’t one to ignore a party esp when Green Day was playing so he grabbed the other microphone from Jihyo’s hand and began to scream along with you

-You grinned, grabbing his hand and pulling him onto the table with you

-The two of you jammed out and nearly broke it but honestly,,, it was worth it bc you got to hear Felix’s beautiful laugh for yourself uwu

-When the song finished the two of you were just stood on the table panting and grinning wildly at each other before he hopped off and offered you his hand so you could get off the table my HEART

-Felix pulled you over to the sofa and introduced himself to you

-“I’m Felix, musical theatre student”

-“I’m Y/N, also a musical theatre student but not practical, I work backstage but you would probably find me in the lighting box or the sound booth”

-“OH I remember you, you did the lighting for the dance performance today right?” he asked excitedly

-“Yes I did” you couldn’t help but grin back at him,,, bc hello is smile is beautiful and contagious as hell!!!

-The two of you chatted as best as you could over the sound of Jihyo and Youngjae crooning another love song down the microphones

-You just shook your head, gesturing Felix over to the machine so he could pick a new song

-Well,,, he interrupted the love fest and the sound of Wonderwall bled through the speakers and you started crying in laughter as Felix introduced the song “so anyway here’s Wonderwall”

-The two of you did a very dramatic re-enactment of the song and Felix couldn’t help but smile when you were basically screaming down the microphone during the chorus

-Your friends just watched in part hate,,, bc hello its Wonderwall and part admiration bc how the hell could two people who have only just met do such an in-sync performance of a well hated song????

-Magic, Youngjae told Jaebum as they both watched in disgust as you threw yourselves across the room in some form of contemporary dance??? Youngjae definitely didn’t know what he was witnessing but he wasn’t sure he liked it

-So anyway the night ends with relatively few casualties, only one broken glass that Dowoon  managed to cut himself on and Jae somehow managed to lose his voice???? But other than that,,, it was a fun night

-As people parted ways, Felix noticed you walking the other way and he quickly ran after you throwing goodbyes to whoever was left

-“HEY Y/N WAIT UP!”

-You whipped around, not expecting Felix to be running after you

-Like,, wtf?

-You waited for Felix to catch up with you before you asked him why he ran after you

-“I just,,,, wanted to make sure you got home safely and besides I live this way too so I thought we could walk together!”

-You just smiled at his bright response and the two of you walked back to your accommodation talking about literally every topic under the sun

-He told you all about Australia and his flatmate Chan

-Don’t tell anyone but Chan is actually CB97 from 3RACHA

-You mean the underground rap group that is supposedly made up 3 college students

-The very same

-DUDE THAT’S SO COOL YOU HAVE TO SNEAK ME IN ONE DAY I’VE BEEN TRYING FOR MONTHS YOU KNOW

-Let me into the lighting box and consider it done

-You have a deal Felix pleasure doing business with you

-(felix pulls through a few weeks later and the two of jam just a little too hard and seungmin is extremely embarrassed to say that he knew the two of you)

-As it turns out, you live in the same apartment block as Felix and he actually walked you to your flat just so he could make sure you got home safely n u were like,,,, mate it’s a bit too much but okay

-Felix began to walk away as you unlocked your door before you heard footsteps approach you and you quickly turned around, brandishing your keys in the assailants’ face

-The assailant, however, was Felix who just looked at you in shock before laughing

-“Well, least I know you’re capable of defending yourself haha”

-“You asshole oh my god you scared me what do you want from me?”

-“Your number”

-O H

-Felix was very straightforward huh, you thought as he took his phone out of his pocket and handed it you

-You punched in your number and handed it back to him

-All the while, Felix was just smiling at you bc HECK he found you cute

-Ever since that night you and Felix became fast friends and yes, you did let him into the lighting box and teach him how to operate the basics bc Felix was hella interested in all aspects of musical theatre not just being on the stage

-You admired that quality about him bc many of the other students just took lighting and sound for granted and just tapped their foot impatiently as you configured the mic pack to the sound booth before handing it to them

-Not Felix though

-He would make conversation with you and even let you secure his microphone properly and you won’t lie that you felt yourself getting a little flustered as you hooked the mic round his ears and as you pulled back to see if it needed adjusting he was just smiling softly at you

-HECK

-Felix found you super cute when you were concentrating and he got distracted once as you were fixing the lights on stage than Jihyo had to literally smack the back of his head bc he was too focused on you lmao

-In his spare time he often begged you to let him see your notes for lighting and sound bc he was genuinely curious and wanted to see if he could figure out what all the codes were

-You just threw the script at him and told him to stop pestering you or else you would stop stocking up on timtams

-Felix never did pester you again, his love of timtams got the better of him

-So yeah,, you and Felix were hella close now

-You even found yourself going on “dates” (that’s what your friends called them, dismissing your protests claiming it was just a friends thing) with him

-And by dates, I mean the two of you went shopping together and had dinner afterwards, going to coffee shops and hell you even let Felix practice new makeup on you so he could improve his skills

-Felix,,, why the hell have you literally painted my whole damn face with cat features!

-We’re studying CATS okay let me LIVE

-I know for a fact you’re not bc literally yesterday you told me that your focus in class at the moment was Starlight Express and the last time I checked,,, that was about trains and people on roller skates not CATS

-You,,,, you’ve got me there I’m sorry

-Anyway,, before you knew it you found yourself falling hopelessly for Felix

-It didn’t help that you were preparing for the final musical of the year and you were practically assigned to work with Felix

-(You can bet your right sock that the rest of the lighting crew were in on this as they snickered whenever you were testing a new microphone with Felix and you began to blush, causing Felix to ask you if you were feeling okay and your crew were like GET IT Y/N)

-Little did you know that Felix was crushing on you as well bc well,,, everything you did was a distraction and he found himself thinking about you practically every day

-His class mates had noticed and told the lighting crew and they were like UGH FINALLY YOU NOTICED and they made a betting pool to see who would confess first

-Most bets were on Felix tbh, he was a loud outgoing kid so he probably had more guts do it than you

-Only a few lone members of the lighting crew stayed loyal to you bc they had a hunch you would confess at the end of the show

-Ah the show,,,

-It’s always stressful preparing for the show and Felix had ended up with the part of Enjolras in their production of Les Miserables

-The two of you were rushed off your feet bc the rehearsal process was actual HELL and it was hell both on stage and offstage

-Like Felix had to learn a whole new type of musical, with very little dance in it, and he was stressed bc he didn’t think he was doing a good job of portraying his character

-Whilst you,,, had the horrible task of designing lighting for an entire show (how you had ended up with that horrible task was beyond you but here you were, wishing for the show to be over so this hell would STOP)

-But alas,, the weeks running up the first performance were crazy and you barely had time to even text Felix bc half of your day was spent running through lighting with the crew and the other half was spent correcting your errors bc the director was a grouchy piece of work n nothing was perfect

-You missed spending time with Felix bc he could make you feel happy and relaxed with just a smile but every time you saw him offstage he seemed,,, a little off and distracted

-Just as you were about to go and ask if he was okay, you were whisked away by one of the sound people bc one of the mics weren’t working

-You never forgot the look on his face though

-Before you knew it, opening night was upon you and the theatre was in full work mode getting everything into position ready for when the audience came in

-Before the actors had arrived however, you snuck in backstage and dropped off a small bouquet of flowers onto Felix’s makeup station with a note that read “I’m sure you’ve got this Apollo”, a bottle of water and a timtam that had strict instructions to eat AFTER the show

-You giggled as you saw Felix wandering round with a small smile on his face, twiddling the note in his fingers unsure of who this was

-Throughout the performance your eyes were drawn to Felix almost like a magnet bc he was captivating as the leader of the revolution and tears actually started to trickle down your face as he sang Do You Hear the People Sing

-Like,,, you were so damn proud of how he was performing considering literally yesterday he was moping around

-As the show week progressed you left bigger bouquets of flowers with different encouraging notes and snacks on them and every day you saw Felix’s smile grow wider and his performance grow stronger

-As the final night rolled around you decided that today was the day

-You were going to confess your feelings to Felix

-You didn’t leave flowers this time, just a note that read

-If you want to know who I am, find me after the show. I’ll be the one with the bouquet of red roses love XXXX

-When Felix read this he was extremely nervous bc all week he had hoped for some sign as to who it was yet all of a sudden they were going to just reveal themselves?

-He didn’t know how he was going to react but secretly,,, he hoped it was you and if it wasn’t he wasn’t sure how he was going to react

-So anyway,, the show went on and by the end of it the whole audience was in tears

-When the actors came on for their individual bows you heard Felix’s friends literally roaring his name,, and was that Changbin holding a Felix banner and standing in his seat??

-When the bows for the technical team were happening you ended up locking eyes with Felix and he was just grinning at you, even as they moved around the theatre

-The final bow happened and you cracked your fingers, knowing it was time

-You bid the rest of your crew goodbye before picking up a bouquet of roses that were underneath the desk and they were like !!!!!! omg they’re going to do it?!?! And you just grinned, pressing a finger to your lips and sneaking out into the main auditorium

-You were slightly nervous bc heck,,, his best friends were here as well and they knew you and if they saw you they would not shut up

-They saw you anyway but Chan had literally choked Felix out to stop him from yelling at you and the rest of the boys were kinda scared so they just left you alone,, wondering if you were going to confess to Felix bc quite honestly,,,, they were sick of Felix’s pining over you lmao

-Before you knew it, the actors began spilling out into the auditorium and your heart began to beat rapidly, waiting for Felix to appear

-When he did you gasped a little bc honestly,, how dare he look so good with his blonde hair all curled and slight traces of makeup still around his eyes with a tired smile on his eyes

-You saw his eyes dart around the room, undoubtedly looking for the red roses you had told him about

-He eyes lit up and started to walk towards you so you decided to remove the flowers from your face

-Felix’s eyes literally widened and his pace picked up

-You just smiled before literally running to him and throwing yourself around his body and kissing him square on the lips

-W O W

-You didn’t plan on doing that but it worked I guess

-The whole auditorium burst into raucous applause, finally glad that the two of you had gotten together after literally almost a year of pining like wtf guys come on

-Chan wiped a tear before motioning to the other boys to go over to the two of you

-You had broken the kiss and were resting your heads together, giggling when the boys approached you uwu

-“So, Y/N you’re finally dating Felix hyung? Took you long enough” jeongin stated bluntly

-“JEONGIN YOU CANT JUST ASK THEM THAT JE-“

-“yes we are dating” Felix said, kissing your temple softly and wrapping an arm around your waist and the other one cradling the bouquet of roses you gave him

-DATING FELIX:

-Oh god it’s a whole MESS dating this boy istg

-Like where to even begin

-For a start, he’s even more smiley and insufferable during class bc he’s like yeah I’m dating the cute lighting technician whilst u Jackie are dating??? Who again exactly? I lost count after you dumped Jaebum bc you found Mark more attractive but then Mark refused to date you bc ??? I forgot tbh

-He literally runs his mouth too much that you literally had to fly from your class to his so you could slap a damn over his mouth so he would shut up

-He didn’t mean to be mean but honestly,,,, he was just saying what the whole class was thinking n you were like babe, I know Jackie is like that but pls keep your mouth shut otherwise if Jackie comes for you I refuse to help you

-B A B E

-Oh yeah, felix definitely calls you babe more than your actual name which makes seungmin fake vomit into his work every time he hears felix call you that

-You just stick your tongue out and call Felix baby and right that’s it Seungmin is transferring college bc he’s SICK of all the affection going round atm

-Date nights are mainly just movie nights bc you and felix are so damn tired all the time after class and there’s nothing better than cuddling him after a long day of class

-Whilst the film is playing you like to lay on half on top of him so you can see his face as he lazily tells you about the ballet workshop he went to that morning

-You just loved listening to him talk and you also liked to rest your head on his chest, feeling relaxed by the steady lull of his heartbeat and the way his chest moved up and down

-More often than not you would fall asleep like this and Chan would find you there at 2am when he went to get a glass of water and he would throw another blanket over you, tucking you in so you didn’t get cold during the night

-(You never did bc Felix is the literal embodiment of the sun in two ways,,, his personality and his damn body heat)

-Also hear me out,, you would take felix to the lighting box on weekends and teach him new lighting methods and you loved watching him being a giddy child when he got it right that you would reward him with kisses whenever he did bc it made the both of you giggle

-Honestly,,, kissing felix? A blessing you weren’t quite sure you deserved though he assured you everyday that you did bc he was always kissing ur forehead, nose, cheeks u name it

-One thing you loved doing was gently tracing the freckles on his face before lightly peppering them with kisses

-It made Felix blush like CRAZY but he loved it bc it was you and you were being cute as heck

-Other date nights included karaoke with the boys and the two of you confusing all of them when you yelled that your song was playing when Wonderwall came on

-Woojin,,, are they being serious right now?

-You know Chan, I really wish I knew

-Study dates weren’t really a thing the two of you did bc you were on such a practical course with not much studying,, but you still liked to go to coffee shops and rehearse lines with him when he had a show coming up or accompanying him to the dance studio when he had a dance project due in

-You being Felix’s biggest fan? Confirmed.

-Going along to every single one of Felix’s taekwondo matches and yelling alongside Changbin as Felix flipped his opponent over??? OF COURSE

-Though, people always wondered which one of you was actually dating Felix until Felix ran over to you and kissed you on the lips and not Changbin lmao

-You always greeted Felix with a bouquet of red roses at the end of each of his performances and he still blushed bc he still couldn’t believe you confessed before he did

-So he decided to reverse the situation and surprised you with flowers during the bows of the last night of one his shows

-Like,,, he called the lighting crew down under the pretence of giving them praise but the ulterior motive,,,, he gave you flowers on stage and then kissed your cheek UWU

-The two of you were the powerhouse couple of the theatre department that everyone was envious of bc you just understood each other so well???? Not to mention between the two of you, you could literally run an entire theatre by yourselves and still have sold out shows

-Just wow,,, you were THAT couple

hi i would like a lee felix pls he’s cute as HECK and i just wanna compliment his freckles till the end of my days goodbye x

[ncbodyknows]

                              MGA Season 4 ;; Episode 4

Contestant #4026 Choi Youngjae Performing My Flower by JBJ { Line distribution } Team D - The Flower Rangers { @longguork​ @rkjeon​ @rksxna​ @haknyeonrk​ } Outfit

It had reached a point by now where Youngjae had stopped caring about trying to complain and simply just started to accept his fate as it was, no matter how troublesome. He was getting publicity and recognition albeit not in the way he had imagined, and he was darned sure that if anyone was going to come for his head they would have done so by now. The likelihood of anyone from back home watching some random Korean auditioning programme anyway was very slim, but his paranoia was still lurking in the back of his mind, causing many scenarios of ‘what if’. Not only that, if Mnet knew of his actual past, they would be more than likely to toss him straight out. Even if he was clean nowadays and had no spots on his attest it was a tough background to run away from and greatly frowned upon.

Who wanted to live an entire life in the shadows watching every step you took though? When he had first come here the artist thought it was such a life he desired, but as he was progressively getting better through the therapy and medication he also came to realise that such an existence would be terribly dull. No one was created to be alone, not even Youngjae. Even he wanted to live within people’s memories.

Even more importantly, he could actually look at this with a feeling of fondness. It sucked, it was tiresome and bothersome and whatnot, but at the end of it, it was also kind of fun. An emotion he hadn’t felt for a long time. When it came to the long hours in the practice room with Jeongguk and Haknyeon trying their best to bring a change to the hopelessness that was Choi Youngjae’s dancing skills, of chatting to Yongguk and discussing the vocals, and of realising that Sana was from Japan as well and spending the time talking to her in his mother tongue, none of them truly felt bothersome. He might insist otherwise but he did have trouble being true to himself on more occasions than just this.

The early morning after Friday’s filming started in the practice room where two familiar faces and two he had only seen as fellow contestants met him. Despite already being familiar with half of the people present, introductions were still in order, a ritual that felt kind of silly with the circumstances. They might be working together as a group and thus should be creating a sense of unity, but in the end, each and every one of these people was a rival. It was just foolish to knit tight bonds here of all places.

Much like last time, the topic immediately fell on the matter at hand: picking a song and leader. Yet again Youngjae made it clear that he didn’t have the skills to carry the team in such a way, although he refrained from stating the true reason that it was too much of a pain in the ass to deal with on top of everything else. Again it was a matter of two people for leader, and although he felt a bit for Sana due to her heritage, perhaps he was simply too biased towards Jeongguk from the past round. It was with little hesitation that he voted him leader. Unlike last time picking the song went fairly easy much to his relief as Youngjae wasn’t sure he would be able to stay neutral to yet another hour upon hour of trying to find ‘the perfect song’. To him it was pointless anyway. It wasn’t about finding a song that fit, it was about making the song fit.

Training hours were long and tough, for Youngjae knew that he had to train harder than anyone else on his team if he wanted to make it. Until now he hadn’t thought he wanted such a thing, but now it was different. If there was one thing he could be happy about it was that he exercised regularly to keep up with his martial arts and hence had a decent stamina everything considered, for if he didn’t he might have died already. Still on multiple occasions he had felt his legs shake so much under him that he could barely stand. It was awful. He couldn’t deny the fact that he had wanted to punch either Haknyeon or Jeongguk in the face multiple times for being stressed to continue when he simply wanted to lie down in a pit and let his soul leave his body. Dancing was so much different from karate. 

Thinking about giving up was very tempting, but a certain encounter last week stopped any such thoughts immediately. Hadn’t he been the one who called Daniel out for whining about everything being too hard and him not having the skills to do it? He would just be a fucking hypocrite if he didn’t try his own darnest after giving that speech. Or he could also just kill Daniel in the dead of the night and hide his body where no one would ever find him. Then no evidence would be left behind of his hypocrisy. That was also a tempting thought. He was, of course, kidding. At least mostly.

And even then Dancing was only part of it. He couldn’t slack on his vocal training either. Whenever he wasn’t practicing dancing it wasn’t strange to hear Youngjae do various exercises for his vocal chords to keep them warm and active as well as preparing himself for the adlibs and lines he had to do this time. Some of the pitches were pretty high, and he had to make sure that he could pull them off while dancing. Even sometimes while dancing his voice was still audible, often in between sharp breaths. If their practise time was a song of its own, Youngjae’s vocal training might very well have been the adlibs. 

Friday had arrived and with it the nerves. That was another first. Actually feeling nervous about the result after today’s show. He was worried he was going to screw up badly with the choreography being way more intense than last week. Take a misstep, sing a false note, or who knew, knowing his skills he might even take a tumble right there on stage and destroy the entire performance. This wasn’t his world and he should never have tried to venture into it, not even for a free meal.

Getting his hair and makeup done, Youngjae could only think that whoever knew him outside of the competition was going to have the time of their life after this. His outfit was sickeningly cutesy he thought and although he had been the one to spill the idea of the whole thing, he was starting to regret the result. The song carried a refreshing image, so linking it to clothes like this wasn’t too far fetched. It was just so far from anything he would ever willingly put on. Who had brought up the idea of the different colours he couldn’t remember by now, but it had been a passing remark that had made Youngjae make an off comments. “That sounds like power rangers. With the different colours and stuff.”

And thus their group name had also come to be. When it was finally the time for team D to claim their spot upon the stage, he joined the others in a unified introduction. “We are the Flower Rangers!” he spoke with feigned enthusiasm, although he wondered if anyone would even notice if he didn’t speak as eagerly as everyone else. He had after all barely got any screen time thus far, and he was surprised if anyone watching the show even cared about him. After an individual introduction everyone got into position and the lights dimmed.

The moment the music started playing Sana sang, her voice in stark contrast to the original deep vocal of the song. For this segment as well as for most of the song Youngjae was placed in the back, hidden away so his mistakes wouldn’t be as obvious. Which was just why he couldn’t afford to mess up on the parts that were actually his. For the entire first verse he had nothing to do vocals wise, but the moment the chorus hit, Youngjae stepped up to cover Sana who had just been singing right before him.

You’re my flower You’re my spring Because you keep blooming I can’t handle it, what do I do?

What had caused him the greatest worry was the jump after the first line of the chorus. In training it had taken ages before he had managed to make it look even decent, only thanks to Haknyeon’s coaching him. In the end he could do it mostly every time, but pulling it off on stage had worried him a lot. So it pleased him when he managed to perform it just as practised. The next half of the chorus was a bit of a high pitch, but that didn’t worry Youngjae. High notes were one of the things his singing teacher had practised with him and he had been training his vocal range. And just as he expected there were also no problems pulling it off.

Now I’m here I’ll embrace you  Ever since we first met, you’re--

Taking over, Jeongguk stepped into the centre and pushed Youngjae further back before continuing the song with the killing part. For now his moment of spotlight was over, and he went back to hide behind everyone else. They were slightly tied down by only having one rapper in the group considering the song had three relatively filling rap parts, and as Haknyeon stepped up for the second time, and he would once more after the second chorus, this time carried by Sana, Youngjae just hoped that no one would think that the younger got too many parts compared to the rest and thereby outshone everyone else. There was only so much they could do with what they had. And Youngjae still had something he could do, for as the second chorus finished and went straight into the next rap part, it was surprisingly enough his turn.

I want you, I can’t express this all with words My lips won’t move how I want

Instead of rapping, however, Youngjae opted to sing the lines. After learning that Moonbok who had already been eliminated from the competition was a music theory major, he had chosen to seek out the person with the most fabulous hair in the entire MGAs. It had been easy to lure him in -- “I’ll let you play with my dog if you help me” -- and thus the two had met up in Youngjae’s apartment to come up with a good vocal part instead. Youngjae had a creative mind, but he lacked the actual theory behind rearranging a rap into song, but he was greatly satisfied with the result. Then as the chorus hit for the last time, the dance calmed down to allow for the artist to pour his heart into the adlibs to create flavour to Yongguk’s singing in this part. He liked to believe that their voices fit well together, not only as the two best vocalists on the team but also with their vocal colours. Or perhaps he was just biased towards Yongguk after the interest he had taken in the other male.

Another two words sung in addition to the other vocalist’s performance as well as a dance break led by Jeongguk later, the performance was over, and as Youngjae prepared for the very last step of the dance, he took off the flower that had been fastened to his chest pocket. To match his outfit and the power rangers theme they had going, his flower was one with black petals. Together with everyone else, he then held it out to the audience, as if telling everyone that the song applied to them. A corny and cheesy as fuck move, but hey, if it worked it worked. And with that finishing touch the performance was over.

[theotherwesley]

Wesley Watches And Rates All The Faust Operas

You thought I was kidding, but here we are: 

*I am not an expert, and my advice should never be followed.  I am but a humble nerd with a passion, dragging you along on my youtube-tour. You probably shouldn’t quote me, but using this as a starting point and guide to this particular musical and literary phenomenon is encouraged! The information below was gleaned largely from wikipedia, vague memories of my BA degree, and my own assessment of the source materials.

My ratings are based on my subjective enjoyment, and a few preferential criterion such as:  1) Was Mephistopheles fuckable, 2) Did I get to see an orgy of witches, 3)Does Marguerite pass the Sexy Lampshade Test, and 4) Was Faust Dragged to Hell.

Preliminary Notes: originally, the legend of Doctor Faust came from the sixteenth century and was inspired by one man (or possibly two who were later conflated), Johann SpidersGeorg Faust, who was your average practitioner of Renaissance Magic. He was not an especially savory individual; he had racked up quite a criminal record and been boastful enough of his “christlike” abilities to heal the sick and perform miracles that he’d seriously annoyed the church. He was denied entry into a city due to accusations of Necromancy and Sodomy. Being an alchemist, Faust got up to some particularly adventurous chemistry experiments, the last of which failed so spectacularly that his lab exploded and the doctor was reduced to his component parts. His remains after death were so gruesome that his colleagues came to the obvious conclusion: He’d been personally dragged to Hell by Satan himself. AND THUS WAS A LEGEND BORN.

The story of Faust was told and disseminated in sixteenth century chapbooks (early printing-press zines, if you will) as a dramatic morality tale. It is from the chapbooks we originally get the character of Mephistopheles, the pact exchanging 24 years of service for the soul, the famulus named Wagner, the wild adventures through various courts, and the conjuration of Helen of Troy. Aside from in the chapbooks, there is one version of Chrisopher Marlowe’s play Doctor Faustus, where the titular character is torn asunder by demons as he is dragged to hell-- but unfortunately for me, a known B-movie horror enthusiast-- this ending appears in no subsequent retellings of the Faust legend. Cowards.

Goethe’s play Faust is obviously the most famous adaptation of the legend, and through it the legend turns from a cautionary tale to a story of hubris, love, faith, and philosophy. If you’re not already familiar with Faust, you might take a moment to read it or at least check out the act summaries. You’ll understand everything that references it a lot better if you do, even if you just read Part I (the second part gets a bit tedious unless you have a fetish for Herodotus and metaphysics-- but there’s a cute homunculus in a bottle! and talking sphinxes and griffons! and kinky rose petals! Angel butts!!!). 

 Armed with this knowledge, let the opera tour begin:

Faust (1816, Louis Spohr)

--The Libretto with English translation 

--Playlist of the whole opera

It’s very pretty! The style and over-all sound reminds me of a Mozart opera, which, I guess, is not too surprising considering they were more or less contemporaries who trained and worked in similar circles. (Louis Spohr! He did collaborations with Beethoven! He invented the violin chinrest! Who knew! Not me! Anyway--) This Faust is not based on either Marlowe or Goethe’s Faust, but rather some miscellaneous adventures from the early Faust legends and chapbook pamphlets. In this version Faust ensnares a devil named Mephistopheles to his service, vowing to use his powers for the good of mankind. Great plan! That always goes well! 

There’s a love potion, a flying cape, a duel with an outraged rival-- all the usual necessities for a Faust story, only now there’s not one but TWO young women screwed over by Faust’s philandering! (His first love, Röschen, and erstwhile damsel-in-distress, Kunilingus. ....*checks notes*, sorry, no, “Kunigunde”). Mephistopheles is cattily insightful, the wronged women team up to avenge themselves against their seducer, and yes, yes indeed, Faust Is Dragged To Hell!  

The poetry of the libretto is quite pleasing, it’s got some great dialogue and epic fantasy sequences. Mephistopheles puts on show of infernal pyrotechnics with 17th century stage effects, all of them tremendous fire hazards. Someone gets dragged to Hell by a chorus of dancing goblins before Act 1 even finishes-- O my cup runneth over! We get the witches’ sabbath atop Mt Blocksberg, there’s a guest appearance by Sycorax, everyone gets real horny up there with a love potion, it’s great. 

Mephistopheles seems to be on the ladies’ side in the story (as much as he’s on any human’s side), in that he cautions them not to trust Faust, and urges them on when they FREAKING TEAM UP AND GO TO SEEK VENGEANCE. Oh my god it’s so great. Kunigunde attacks Faust and Faust freaks out and tells Mephistopheles to save him and Meph is all “what’s that? I don’t know, suddenly I can’t read”. Meph is also the one doing all the actual rescuing of distressed maidens, at Faust’s behest. He views Faust’s attempts to break the laws of Love and Nature with contempt, knowing that Faust’s soul is on the fast track to Hell. There’s no actual pact here; Meph is the one being held hostage. He makes sure that Faust doesn’t enjoy any of the spoils of his sorcery, so Faust’s ennui and dissatisfaction remain the same as before he began his quest to “Use Hell’s Powers For Good”. 

And just quick review of the scoreboard: Faust used his powers to do 1 (one) useful thing with his power before he ruined a bunch of people’s lives in quick succession, murdering Kunigunde’s betrothed and driving Rose to suicide. He still cries about it and the “rich seeds of Good he sowed” but Meph is having none of it and HE. DRAGS. THAT. BOY. TO. HELL!!!!!!! EXEUNT.

Rating: 4/5 Stars. Better than expected! I want a revival of this version! With stabbing! And special effects! Mephistopheles is truly doing the Lord’s work here, no offense to his demonship. Lost some points with me for being so very, very heavy on the pining and lovesick maidens, but won me back when the lovesick maidens picked up daggers. 

Faust and Marguerite (1855, Lutz) and Faust up to Date (1888, Lutz)

Straight up can’t find this one! But this early silent film short is apparently based on it?  IDK folks, if you have a recording of this you’d like to share with me, I’d be delighted to hear it. 

As for the burlesque, I suspect it hasn’t actually been performed since 1888. But the music is pretty cute! The Pas de Quatre, aka “Skirt Dance” seems to be the only track that’s stuck around. Here it is played on an old disc music box. 

Rating: ??? 

La damnation de Faust (1846, Berlioz) 

--Libretto in French and English

--La Damnation de Faust with Jonas Kaufmann --I like this one because Faust is super duper cute and this Mephistopheles reminds me of an OC makes yellow work. 

--This is the first of what I’m called The Big Three Faust Plays; all modeled after Goethe’s Faust specifically, written within roughly ten years of each other, and which feature the most well-known arias that I’m aware of. 

This opera positively reeks of Romanticism; it’s got Byron out the ears, it’s wading through Wordsworth, it’s doing the Grand Tour, it’s gazing mournfully from the top of Mont Blanc, contemplating Nature and the Human Spirit. It’s Berlioz, buckle up. 

The beginning is obviously Faust wallowing in ennui. He considers suicide, but is interrupted by a timely reminder of Christianity. Suddenly the devil appears in order to take advantage of a soul precariously teetering on the edge between redemption and damnation.  In this version, the devil does not announce himself as the devil, but rather as the ~Spirit of Life~, here to show Faust the joys of the world. (There’s no pact at first, Meph is just “get in bitch we’re going debauching” and Faust’s like “aight” and they’re off.) The devil takes Faust on a fun tour of life’s noteworthy attractions such as “Drunk Student Karaoke”, “Dancing Gnomes”, and “A Nice Forest Nap”.

During his magical nap Faust sees a vision of Marguerite (later we learn she has simultaneously dreamed of Faust) and falls in love. He awakes with the usual boner for this Maiden of Radiant and Humble Virtue who Nature Hath Sheltered In Perfect Simplicity, because that’s always a big turn-on. Meph steers the course of their interactions very carefully, using magic and fairies and wisps to enchant the couple’s surroundings to ensure they are surrounded by romantic atmosphere the whole time. Once they’ve gotten into some heavy necking, he bursts in and tells them that the whole town is coming with pitchforks and also someone’s told the girl’s mother and they’re in big trouble. Faust flees. 

Everyone does some quality Pining, Faust sings a sad song about Nature, and then Meph shows up again saying “hey I hope this doesn’t put a damper on our vacation, but Marguerite is in prison for murder and she’s going to be executed BUT QUICK, ACT NOW AND WE CAN SAVE HER for just one quick easy payment of your immortal soul” and Faust is just like “WHAT WHERE WHO WHAT UH FINE YES SURE OKAY SHIT, WOW, LET’S GO” and Meph is >:))) and they jump on their horses and ride off to go save her except OOPS, NO THEY DON’T because actually they are RIDING INTO THE WAITING JAWS OF HELL!!!! NYAK NYAK NYAK NYEEEEEHHHHH!!! Faust burns for eternity, Marguerite goes to heaven, curtain. 

Rating: 3.5/5 Look, I’m not saying I’m biased, but Mephistopheles doesn’t even show up until half an hour into the opera, okay? I find this one hard to sit through even though the music is really delightful; and I do mean it is gorgeous music. Between the two famous mocking serenades, “Devant la maison” shoots “Vous quid faites l’endormie” right out of the water; all the chorus pieces are fantastic; the Hungarian March is a great instrumental piece; Faust actually has some decent arias for once (rarer in each subsequent opera), and there is Brander’s wonderfully irreverent Rat Song... I think the reason this doesn’t hold my attention as much as other versions is that the plot is very meandering and the characters don’t have concrete motivations; they’re sad teenagers in love, I guess? And the devil tricks them? This whimsical aspect is 1000% part and parcel of the Romantic Aesthetic I realize, but personally I came for a recognizable story and got mostly pastoral vignettes. We spend half the opera listening to Frolicking Peasants and Men At Arms. Mephistopheles just hops out of the woodwork to play a dirty trick on a random guy getting his Byronic Mope on. There’s no pact, no soul-signing until the very end, and it’s just a plain ol’ tricky trap, not a device to punish hubris or moral crimes. I’m even reluctant to give this its rightful Dragged To Hell points because out of all the Faust scenarios, this is the one where he seems to deserve it the least! He doesn’t actually do anything bad! It’s not satisfying if he’s dragged to Hell for no reason! Pfui. However, points gained back for the made-up Satanic babble sung by infernal chorus at the end.  

Faust (1859, Gounod) 

--Libretto in French and English

--1995 Adaptation with Samuel Ramey as Mephistopheles  You already know I’m a slut for Samuel Ramey playing the devil in any capacity so I’ll spare you my gushing play-by-play of his performance. The quality of this video is.... not great. I apologize. I still love it, but you’re going to want to find a clearer recording of the music if you want to get the most out of this opera. 

--2011 Adaptation with Paul Gay as Mephistopheles (Warning: this version is quite lurid and includes some staging choices that I find pretty uncomfortable-- I can’t decide if the director is consciously trying to highlight predatory sexism as a bad thing or if it’s just kind of included to make things seem ~spicy~. Anyway, it’s otherwise a high quality production with an interesting set design, just be warned that there’s some on-stage grossness. Also, a hilariously bad decapitated head prop! --to accompany a truly baffling ending. To its credit, the death of Valentin was genuinely pretty moving and made me feel... er, well, anything about the character. Tassis Christoyannis’s made that aria memorable, which is more than I can say of other productions. 

Second of the Big Three! 

Gounod introduces a more complete cast of characters borrowed from Goethe’s Faust to flesh out the the story and setting; we meet Wagner the student, a regiment of soldiers including Marguerite’s brother, Valentin, and their young friend Siebel (a pants role-- which immediately endears me to this character because I’m a ~big ol’ queer~). Later we meet Marguerite’s nosy old neighbor, Martha, who is REAL thirsty for Mephistopheles and who I relate to very much.

 This opera follows Goethe’s Faust- Part I much more closely than its predecessor, and where it does not follow the original, it diverges in favor of making the story more engaging and streamlined. There is WAY LESS pining into the aether, and more sword fights. The larger cast of named characters makes for more interactions, which in turn makes for more memorable moments on stage, better dialogue, a comprehensible timeline of events, and more concrete motivations for everyone. 

A SUMMARY: Faust’s pact in this version has nothing to do with the philosophical wager seen in Goethe, but is simply an exchange of his soul for returned youth. He is old, he’s spent his life studying, he wants to be young and full of passion again. He seals the deal after the devil offers him a vision of Marguerite, whose sight is so inspiring and lovely that Faust is overcome with desire for her alone. They go to find her, encountering on the way a regiment of students and soldiers, one of whom is Marguerite’s brother, Valentin, who is going off to war leaving his sister in the care of young Siebel. Getting Marguerite to stop and talk to Faust proves difficult since she is so pure and virtuous that A) Mephistopheles has no power over her, and B) she’s wary of the compliments of strangers. Faust gets Mephistopheles to bring her a case of jewels to warm her up to him, then Mephistopheles concocts a ruse to distract her nosy neighbor Martha and give them an excuse to meet Marguerite (shenanigans ensue). The ploy works, Marguerite is seduced, and in love with Faust. Cut to some time in the future, when Oh No Everything Has Gone Horribly Wrong; Faust has gone away and left Marguerite pregnant and unmarried, she is shunned by society with the exception of Siebel, meanwhile her brother has come home from the war to find her in a disgrace. Faust and Mephistopheles eventually return, but encounter an enraged Valentin who duels Faust to avenge his sister’s honor. Faust, of course, uses Mephistopheles’s magic to cheat, and Valentin is fatally stabbed. With his dying breaths, he curses his sister and blames her for his death, since he died defending her honor-- the people who witness this are rightfully aghast that he’d use his last moments to denounce his own sister-- and rightly so, because that’s a real dick move. Faust flees, and Marguerite is left on her own with no support and a newborn child to care for. She seeks refuge and forgiveness in the church, but finds she cannot pray, haunted by voices and cursed by Mephistopheles himself, as he whispers in her ear, promising damnation. She faints, and is presumably driven mad. Cut to Faust, who is being treated to a front-row seat of Walpurgisnacht. During the revels he sees another vision of Marguerite, this time of her in chains and awaiting execution for the murder of her child. Mephistopheles grudgingly takes Faust to see her in prison, where he tries to rescue her. In her fevered state she will not leave, wanting Faust to instead stay with her in the cell. During the delay, she sees Mephistopheles and finally puts two and two together, knowing a devil when she sees one, and understanding that Faust is not only responsible for her suffering but also in league with infernal powers. She pushes him aside, rejects him, and throws herself instead on the mercy of God, choosing death and redemption over being rescued by the man whose affections ruined her. Mephistopheles ruefully pronounces her condemned, but a voice from Heaven pronounces her Saved. Faust watches in awe as Marguerite’s soul ascends to Heaven, and he is left alone and presumably damned. 

Why is this framing of the story significant? Because it’s about her. Faust is only an instrument; his soul is not especially remarkable, he might have been damned without any devil to encourage him.

 But Marguerite’s soul was untouchable to Mephistopheles; he puts a vision of her before Faust for a reason. We don’t waste any time bemoaning Faust’s moral downfall; Faust is not the one seeking redemption at the end of the opera. Faust is a means to an end, and that end is leading an otherwise spotless soul into perdition.

 This opera has Mephistopheles at his most sinister, his most manipulative; he is the one driving Marguerite deeper into misfortune, who isolates her, mocks her, whispers condemnation into her ear her until she doubts everything. Desperate, without support and seeing no way forward, no future for herself or her child, Marguerite kills her baby, or is led to do so by Mephistopheles. Without a doubt, this has been the devil’s plan all along, and with Marguerite now branded a murderess, he thinks he’s won. But Faust, despite taking no responsibility for his actions, nevertheless feels pity and remorse at her misfortune, and goes to rescue her--and  this gives Marguerite the chance to finally see what he is.

 She rejects him; she does not choose love, she does not choose to live or be rescued by the forces that ruined her in the first place. She stays, renews her faith, and thwarts Mephistopheles’s best efforts to damn her. This is not about a man's hubris; it is about Marguerite escaping the devil and saving herself on her own terms. That’s why I find this version to be poignant. 

Some musical highlights: “Le veau d’or” (the golden calf)-- if not my favorite of Mephistopheles’s ballads then in the top three, particularly because it lends itself to some flamboyant acting; Marguerite’s “Ballade un roi de Thulé” (the king of Thule) is absolutely haunting; and "Seigneur, daignez permettre", aka The Church Scene is fucking incredible-- the juxtaposition of Marguerite’s pleas and the choir’s Dies Irae, the echoing church organs in the background, Damnation seeming to gain a voice of its own to summon her... it’s some real Eyes-of-Notre-Dame Hellfire shit. 

Rating: 5/5! A perfect score! Gounod wins the first place ribbon. Though he beats Boito’s “Mefistofele” (up next) on several key points, I want you to know that my personal bias will probably always be in favor of “Mefistofele” on account of being a ho for the titular character. --But Gounod’s is the better opera, fair and square. “Faust” has the most comprehensive storyline, the most memorable arias, and the best (I think) balance of both humor and poignance.  I will give this version the benefit of a Dragged to Hell point even though we don’t actually get to see the final deed. The Walpurgisnacht scene does exist as a ballet, so I’ll still give it the points even though it gets cut out of most productions for length (sometimes the ballet is performed as a stand-alone event). Additionally, he scores most favorably on the Marguerite > Sexy Lampshade scale-- this is a story about her more than it’s about Faust or Mephistopheles, and I’m here for that.

Thank you Mr. Gounod, you may retrieve your Incredibly Prestigious Award from my blog after the ceremony. 

Mefistofele (1868, Boito) 

--Libretto in Italian and English

--HERE IT IS, MY FAVORITE ONE, MY FAVORITE MEPHISTOPHELES, SAMUEL RAMEY, MOSTLY SHIRTLESS, FLIPPING OFF GOD AND LIGHTING A CIGARETTE ON STAGE IN HIS MATCHING CHERRY-RED TAILCOAT AND VIOLIN CASE 1989 (WHICH IS THE YEAR OF MY BIRTH, NO COINCIDENCE, I THINK)

--Oh, fun fact! The opera scene in Batman Begins is the chorus from the witches sabbath. If you thought it sounded familiar, this might be why.

Anyway. This is the third of the Big Three most-referenced Faust operas!  

Unlike its predecessors, Mefistofele covers both part I and part II of Goethe’s Faust, starting with the seduction of Marguerite and moving on to serenading Helen of Troy and finally with Faust’s redemption. The first part of the opera is very similar to Gonoud’s Faust, but first there is a Prologue, which is taken pretty much directly from Goethe.  And oh my god, is the Prologue hilarious. We encounter Mephistopheles, the titular character, on his way to work-- or more just loitering around in the aether as one does when one is bored and immortal and humanity is going on sinning with or without you, when he stops to greet the Lord God in passing, all satirical charm and sarcasm. God, very graciously, does not ask him whether he has anything better to do, but instead inquires if he knows Faust.

 “Oh yeah, that guy. Neck beard, likes science, big fan of yours. Sure I’ve heard of him,” says Meph. “Hey, you seem like a betting man--”

“Um,” says God.

Meph continues; “I bet I can tempt him into sinning and thus damn his immortal soul to Hell!” 

God agrees-- because God already knows the future and thinks this will be a fun way to build character. 

A choir of angels descends and Mephistopheles gets grossed out, sprays them with insect repellent, and leaves. (I am paraphrasing). 

The next few scenes are pretty familiar; Faust laments his ennui, a chorus of peasants and students celebrate a festival, Faust is on the cusp of a revelation that Jesus is neat, but is interrupted by the devil. The devil introduces himself, offers Faust his services on earth if Faust agrees to serve him in Hell after death. 

Faust, who seconds ago was ready to devote himself to a life of holiness, sayeth “yolo” and they shake on it, with the condition that Mephistopheles can reveal to him one moment of such surpassing joy and beauty that Faust will wish for it to last forever-- thereupon Faust consents to being dragged immediately to Hell. Because pssh, that’s later and who cares about later?? They hop on Mephistopheles’s magic cape, and fly off to have adventures.  CUT TO: Faust seducing Marguerite and Mephistopheles distracting her nosy neighbor Martha. THEY KISS, FAUST LEAVES, HE GOES TO A PARTY ON MT. BROCKEN. HE SEES A VISION: MARGUERITE IN PRISON! QUICK, TO THE RESCUE! BUT NO, SHE REJECTS HIM, HER SOUL IS SAVED, SHE DIES-- Wait, what? I hear you ask-- She just got here, she wasn’t even introduced, now we’re skipping to the end? The answer is: yes. Yes, you’re just supposed to know what’s going on already. 

To be fair, Faust operas are the Spiderman remakes of the nineteenth century; there’s a new one coming out every ten years or so, Goethe is required reading, everyone is writing Faust fanfiction-- no one is wondering who the girl is or how they met or is wondering if they’ll kiss or not. Everyone knows the plot already, it’s fine.

BUT THIS ISN’T THE END! No indeed! Now we are on a tour of PART II of Goethe’s Faust! You know, the part you skipped! Don’t worry, Boito isn’t making the entire metaphysical play into an opera, just the juicy bits with Helen of Troy. Marguerite is instantly and completely forgotten-- this is now a Helen/Faust one-shot, which Mephistopheles is forced to watch with annoyance. 

CUT TO: Faust’s old laboratory from Act 1, where he is on the brink of death, lost in a reverie of all the good times he’s had. Mephistopheles is hovering over him, tapping his wristwatch and reminding Faust of his past loves and glories, incredulous that Faust hasn’t yet found his One True Moment™.

 Faust just sighs and says “gee, I guess the REAL happiness was the good I could have done along the way but absolutely didn’t!” and God busts in through the ceiling with a HALLELUJAH and Mephistopheles is like “oh don’t you dare, don’t you fucking-- THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD, ALL THE SEXY LADIES I GOT YOU TO MEET! AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU AS YOUR WINGMAN--” and Faust faceplants into the bible and goes straight to Heaven. Meph is left spitting in defiance as he sinks into the earth. THE END.

Why this framing is significant: The way Boito has arranged and cropped the scenes makes this story very much center around Mephistopheles. While Berlioz’s Faust was about the suffering of a young man for love, and Gounod’s was about the victory of Marguerite over Hell, Boito’s opera is about the humorous tragedy of Mephistopheles, whose endeavor was rigged to fail from the onset. 

Faust doesn't end up in Hell in Goethe's version, and I accept this because Mephistopheles lost his bet on a technicality: the Moment™ Faust wished to prolong was not provided by Mephistopheles, it was caused by his sincere desire to do a last bit of good in the world, coming to the conclusion (after being made blind by the goddess of Care) that benefiting mankind is what brings one happiness, not knowledge or fleeting pleasures. It wasn’t that he suddenly found Christ or gave himself over to God, as the opera implies, but because he finally realized the worth of striving to do good, and fond a source of platonic love within himself, which makes his soul redeemable despite his pact with the devil. So Goethe gives us a humanist, philosophical explanation for Faust's redemption..... BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY-- he has Mephistopheles lose Faust's immortal soul because he's Too Fucking Horny For An Angel Boy’s Ass. (I know when I’m being pandered to.) 

Unfortunately, Boito misses the whole philosophical trajectory of Goethe’s Faust and reduces it to a simple morality-play where a sinner is saved on his deathbed merely by acknowledging the hereafter. He doesn’t suffer blindness, he doesn’t actually DO anything good in his last hour, he just repents and decides Heaven is real after all at the last possible second before kicking the bucket. It would be disappointing, IF that were the point of the story. But that’s not where the drama is!

Like Gounod’s Faust, the focus was never really on the doctor at all; his redemption is not what we paid to see. It’s Mephistopheles’s reaction to losing Faust’s soul that makes the ending interesting, not the fact that Faust gets a free pass to Heaven. 

Highlights of this version: It’s fucking hilarious, and Mephistopheles is the star of the entire show. His arias are in turns sinister and sardonic, playful and powerful. The dialogue is taken directly from Goethe’s Faust in most cases (translated into Italian obviously), and hey, the dialogue in Goethe is really funny and good and witty! Hard to go wrong! 

“Ave Signor” (Hail, Lord!) is such a terrific opener; there will always be something delightful about the idea of the devil conversationally sassing God and daring to make a bet with the Almighty in the spirit of work-place rivalry. “Son Lo Spirito Che Nega Sempre Tutto” (I Am the Spirit That Denieth All Things) is full of dark bravado and rebellion, whistling defiance at the Lord. It’s a great Villain Song and as someone with sympathy for the devil it is completely my jam. “Ecco Il Mondo” (Behold the World) is both teasing and menacing and the staging lends itself to some glorious melodrama. “Ah! Su! Riddiamo, riddiamo” (Turning, turning) gets a prize for being the best infernal chorus and witches’ sabbath scene out of all of them-- it’s frenzied and spooky and satanic and whirling, everything you could want from an orgy of infernal creatures. Ten out of five stars, would exalt Satan to again.

Rating: 4.5 / 5 stars. Second place prize, and Honorable Mention for being the judge’s favorite. It’s not perfect. The story leaves much to be desired-- let’s face it, Part II of “Faust” isn’t especially... dynamic on its own, and especially when condensed to fit into opera format, the events don’t add up into a satisfying narrative.  Boito glosses over some frankly essential elements in the original and just has Faust skip right from his life-ruining adultery to being carried to Heaven on the backs of angels-- just for thinking of all the good he *could* have done if he hadn’t been, you know, a real stinker this whole time.  So I’m not giving Boito a pass for omitting Faust’s Hell Dragging. Furthermore, this play is woefully short on Marguerita; she basically just shows up to be seduced and then a second later is Ruined and Saved. Booo.

But hey-- is this play called “Faust”? Is this play called “Faust and Marguerita”? No. This play is called motherfuckin’ “Mefistofele”, because it’s about Mephistopheles. It’s about our suave, under-appreciated servant of Hell working hard for his cut, trying and squeeze just ONE life-altering moment out of this absolute dehydrated turd of a man, and the play is rife with his frustration. He is the one who whistles in defiance of God, and he loses because it is *inevitable* that he loses. God was never going to let him win that bet; Meph was a tool in his ultimate design to shepherd Faust closer to redemption. Mephistopheles is dragged off stage whistling in defiance as a lifetime’s worth of effort is flushed down the drain in a single moment of seemingly undeserved redemption. Not for a *solitary second* did we want this opera to be about Faust. No. This is the devil’s opera, and that’s why it’s so fucking great. 

Doktor Faust (1916–25, Busoni)

--Adaptation with Thomas Hampson 2006 

--Libretto in German and English

...And now, a German libretto written by an Italian, in contrast with Boito’s Italian libretto translated from German. 

God, this is such a modern ass Modern Opera. It does that thing I hate that modern operas do where the composer is like “What? You wanted a ~melody~? What is this, musical theater??” Like obviously they’ve transcended the need for anything so plebeian as a tune I can fucking hum. It’s very Intellectual, very High Art. The plot is full of tortured genius manpain, naval gazing, and I can’t remember a single aria from it. ...Okay, that’s a bit harsh; in the final two scenes Faust gets some lovely melancholy solos that actually stuck out to me. But this is a three hour long opera. So. Maybe skip ahead.

Plot-wise, this is the most existential of the bunch. No Marguerite in this one, just a Duchess with no name. Faust still ruins his lover’s life but in his final act he rejects both God and the Devil and uses his Supreme Human Will to transfer his life-force into his dead child’s body, resurrecting him as a young man with a blossoming frond of some kind. (Symbolism!!!) 

--This marks the full 180 turnaround from “Faust is forcibly dragged to hell by Satan himself and his body explodes all over the stage” to “NOT ONLY IS FAUST REDEEMED OF HIS SINS BUT HE TRANSCENDS BOTH HEAVEN AND HELL WITH THE INDOMITABLE FORCE OF HIS HUMAN WILL, GOD IS DEAD, FAUST IS THE ÜBERMENSCH”, and to that I say *ptttttttbbbbbbbb*.   

Rating: 1/5 stars.  Plot is ponderously philosophical, overweighted with symbolism, and the music, while interesting, is largely forgettable with a few exceptions. Also it is Three Goddamn Hours Long. Points lost for nameless female character who fails the Lampshade Test. Loses further points for a dry and flavorless Mephisopheles, boooo.     

The Rake's Progress (1951, Stravinsky)

--1992 production with Jerry Hadley and OH LOOK WHO IT IS IT’S SAMUEL RAMEY AGAIN HUH WELL DON’T MIND IF I DO this production is really, really well acted and funny and the dance portions are especially cool. 

--Libretto in English and Italian

Another modern opera, this time by a composer I actually like! 

Now, this isn’t technically a Faust opera; its based on a series of delightfully comedic prints by William Hogarth, detailing the decline and fall of a young man who inherits a huge sum of money, spurns his true love, and wastes his inheritance on foolish ventures and hookers, eventually ending up insane in Bedlam (I’m not saying tertiary syphilis, but definitely tertiary syphilis-- Let us take a moment to appreciate both condoms and penicillin.) 

In the original paintings there is no deal-making devil, but but luckily he’s been added in by librettist W.H. Auden (who was intermittently friends and lovers with Christopher Isherwood!!!!-- I just wanted to add that because it makes my gay little heart very happy). The names are all vaudevillian puns, such as “Tom Rakewell”, “Anne Trulov”, and “Sellem, the Auctioneer”. Mephistopheles has been exchanged for the slick, modern Nick Shadow.

Highlights of this version: Baba the Turk, the bearded lady that Nick convinces Tom to marry as a demonstration of his free will (???). Listen: I know she’s meant to be comic relief and is an unflattering stereotype, but dang if she didn’t win my heart completely. I like that her marriage with Tom apparently falls apart, not necessarily because she’s a bearded lady, but because she’s just very chatty and overbearing and is much better traveled than Tom, and has had numerous wealthy and important suitors who she won’t shut up about. She’s knows her own worth and conducts herself accordingly, and is very vocal when she knows she’s being treated badly. She’s got Anne’s back when they meet at the auction of all Tom’s property (which she was included in as an object because she was under a spell of silence and immobility-- rude), telling her to watch out for Nick Shadow and generally being very forgiving and understanding about the whole affair; she was hurt that Tom lied about his affections, but she doesn’t blame Anne for it, which is wholesome. Then she announces that she’s going back to her career on the stage because she is BABA and she has had enough of these scrubs. Anyway. I love her. She’s described very beautifully if you happen to like beards, which I do (and so did the author).  

“No Word From Tom” reminds me why I love Stravinsky so much (and Dawn Upshaw sings it like a nightingale). “Lanterloo My Lady” is spritely and fun and texturally interesting; besides, “sweet dreams my master, dreams may lie, but dream-- for when you wake you die” is chill-inducing. “How Dark and Dreadful is This Place” plus the whole card game in the cemetery is sad and grim and comical all at the same time; Tom is such a pathetic and naive mess you can’t help but feel sorry for him, even while Nick’s smugness is delicious. Tom’s mad songs are all quite touching and beautiful. 

Rating: 4/5 stars. The libretto is really excellent, jazzy, full of great wordplay and aphorisms. Nick is a delightful Mephistopheles; thoroughly modern, witty, sly, arch, fourth-wall breaking. Faust is not dragged to hell, but he is condemned to insanity. Loses points for a female lead whose entire purpose in life is to babysit this asshole through his poor life decisions. Also, while certainly more memorable and melodic than Busoni’s Faust, it still has that sort of shouty modern opera sound that I find a little challenging to listen to; but that said, the music fits the plot, and the plot is fun and absorbing, so while there may be fewer individual arias I’m likely to put on my jogging playlist, it’s engaging to watch as a production from start to finish.  

--Okay! That’s it! I know, I know, this isn’t actually a review of every Faust opera to date, but I have to get back to my life, and you already know my feelings on modern and contemporary opera. Thank you for bearing with me for this entire novel-length post that literally no one asked for!! You’re a the real hero here! I love you almost as much as I love Samuel Ramey in tights.  *stage kiss*  Yours in Service Here but in Mine Below, ~Wesley 

[pleiadesounds]

Where To Start With,  Pt 1

 This week, Harry Fanshawe from UK noiseniks Modern Rituals acquaints Kai with the inimitable Silver Jews, while Kai in turn shows him the finer points of British post-punk stalwarts Wire. 

  Kai Woolen-Lewis Wire are, for me, one of the great bands in the history of punk music. Whereas a lot of other bands you’d describe as such would subsist largely on folklore and be a calamity if judged on their incarnation in the present moment, Wire however seem to be one of the rare bands who have managed to be both very influential (if you need punk credentials, they were covered by Minor Threat and if you need trendy floppy haircut credentials, they were covered by My Bloody Valentine) and forever forward-thinking - bridging the gap between the pompousness of progressive music and the snarl and brevity of punk, a bridge between what were two ultra-partisan camps. Though they’re contemporaries of elder statesmen of British punk like the Sex Pistols and The Buzzcocks, there’s far more of an art-school vibe to Wire - one gets the impression that they must’ve stood in stark contrast to the image and the attitude of their peers, with cerebral and challenging songs that refused to succumb to the immediate hedonism of the punk music of the time. One gets the impression that they have far more in common with genre outliers like Patti Smith, Pere Ubu and Kraftwerk than with any of their counterparts in the British punk scene. 

 When I first saw them, at the Lexington in London 4 or 5 years ago, they played almost entirely new songs, with only a few songs from their “seminal” LP’s included in the set. Now that the horror of not knowing many of the songs has worn off, it’s a clear sign of their continuously forward-looking approach. With seventeen studio albums and god knows what else in the way of releases, here’s where to start with Wire - despite their huge legacy, absolutely not a legacy act…

 Playing Harp For The Fishes

 KWL Even after decades of churning out consistently stark, highly original songs, Wire still absolutely excel - although lots of their current and recent material is a lot more digestible than in their early years - this, from 2017’s Silver/ Lead is big slow-grooving song which gives an excellent idea of the kind of discomforting experimental noise Wire have always dealt in. A steady rhythm section struggles against all matter of ethereal out of key guitar, weird oscillating noises and throbbing synth lines. Musically and lyrically challenging and abstract without ever feeling overwrought. Sardonic without any hint of bitterness. Dense without even a smidgen of unpalatability. Is it always so? Aye.

Harry Fanshawe Wire for me have always been a band on the periphery of punk history. Not to say that is rightly so, but they're a band that I've seen has being earmarked as integral by the nerdier music fans (I mean that with fondness). Take Joy Division, they formed because they saw the Sex Pistols, but they made something much deeper and more meaningful. My mental placement for Wire has had them alongside the likes of Killing Joke in that history (weirder and less easy to associate with the common idea of 'punk'), and I feel like their evolution has been similar. Like you say this track favours simplicity with the steady beat, allowing a nicely sized canvas to throw as many different colours at, which they do with the layers they chuck on top. That is an approach that I see as being more contemporary of today than the 70s (favouring simplicity and excelling in it has really come back in the last few years). It shows how adaptable this band has been over the decades. 

Lowdown

 KWL Wire’s first album Pink Flag has gone down in music history as one of the seminal British records of the early punk movement, largely down to it’s combination of abrasiveness, melody and brevity. 21 songs in 36 minutes, often fleetingly abrupt, played at breakneck pace and infused with an abstract sense of humour and an art-school sensibility that set them miles apart from their contemporaries. This one, Lowdown, sounds like a soul single on 33rpm; a fascinating disco dirge and highlight of a pretty highlight-heavy first LP.

 HF Right back to the 70s and for me that Crazy Horse vibe is straight in there. This is the THE Wire album. Fight me. Musically, it's a whole different sound to the last song, it's got vibe and groove and all the amazing characteristics of the best 70s bands. Vocally I find it more alike the stuff of the 2010s, though I reckon that's probably debatable! It's obviously got that old school, British punk oi! to it and today they're much calmer. But you can hear it. For anyone who knows Kai and his musical projects of the last few years, this riff is SO Kai.

 Marooned

KWL Here’s an older one - from 1978’s Chairs Missing. The jump between Pink Flag and this in the space of a couple of years is absolutely insane, and the jump from this to the next year’s 154 is also pretty nuts. A highlight on a rich, chilling and unique record of challenging post-punk, Marooned is slow, meandering and awash with oceanic wetness, big synths and sheet glass guitars, with Newman singing about hanging out on a sinking iceberg - both sonically and in terms of sheer epic-ness of scope, it’s closer to Pink Floyd than to any of their genre contemporaries. I put this on at a house party once and the atmosphere nose dived and the whole room just totally explicably got really fucking awkward. Take what you want from that, I guess.

 HF Forward a couple of years and the Pink Floyd sounds are in there, the experimentation is kicking off and yeah we're sat on a soft synth cloud here. It is a massive jump and I love that, I fully dig that 'fuck it who cares what anyone thinks I wanna try that'. I reckon that idea is nicely reflected in your house party play of it. I know that feeling, I did it with Primitive Man myself around a bunch of posh hipsters listening to surf rock in Cornwall. Lasted like less than 2 seconds. Proper wankers. Anyway, point is Kai, it's their loss. The tune slaps.

Map Ref 

KWL By 1980’s 154 - so called because at the point they recorded it, they had played live 154 times - Wire had cemented their place as both stalwarts and genre outliers by following up the seminal Pink Flag with the enormous impenetrable curveball-shaped Chairs Missing. 154 is full of big bangers and awkward, atmospheric synthesiser-led songs - this by the way is one of the big bangers. Lyrically it seems to be a geography nerd gushing about the enormous epic expanses of landscape that make up the American midwest. Before you go look it up, the Map reference is somewhere called Centerville in Iowa or Ohio or something. Map Ref has a chorus I frequently cite alongside “That’s When I Reach for my Revolver” or “The Girl Who Lives on Heaven Hill” as a contender among underground punk rock’s biggest fist-in-the-air choruses.

HF Again, 70s vibes are rife, the energy of the rhythm section just holds it all up so strong. Weirdly, I find his voice sounds loads like Blake Schwarzenbach [Jawbreaker, Jets to Brazil]? Any influence on him there? Who knows. Way more in the way of vocal melody here and the vibe is moving more along the way bands like Talking Heads were at the time. Definitely a banger. Love the lil satirical 'chorus' drop in there. As for landscapes inspiring songs, fuck yeah why should it always be about people? I mean animal rights punk is usually dreadful and dull, let's talk about something inanimate for once.

 Blogging

 KWL Brazen, streamlined and groovy, with a chugging downtuned riff and a glorious uplighting chorus - Blogging showcases Wire’s admirable ability to follow their own pretty standard formula and keep churning out highly original and interesting songs. The lyrics deserve a mention - it’s a hard enough endeavour sometimes for those of us born in the 90s, but if you were in a band that existed in 1976, the current musical landscape must be a pretty soul-destroying place to exist. Actually scrap that. If you were alive at a time when art seemingly meant something or was worth anything, now must be a horrible place to live. “I’m blogging like Jesus/ I tweet like a pope/site traffic heavy/ I’m YouTubing hope” 

 HF Totally agree Kai. Today is a fucking terrible time to be alive if you're interested in anything related to the notion of 'art'. It's all been rehashed and overdone. It's everywhere to be seen and no longer has a sacred place. It's been abused and overused for petulant causes. Everyone's a fucking artist and that's killed the concept. Can't believe how much this reminds me of Jets to Brazil, why!? I suppose we can forget about the present if we stick to Wire's back catalogue.

Circumspect

KWL A product of extensive periods of down-time on their part, which saw the members working on other projects - Colin Newman’s Githead in particular is worth a mention - 2008’s Object 47, so called because it’s the 47th Object in their back catalogue - is a really great record and a hidden gem in Wire’s back catalogue for me. Dispensing with the distortion and the abrasion, Wire made a record of sparse, infectious guitar-based songs that you can really lose yourself in, and this is one of the songs in which I have most frequently lost myself. A slow circular guitar arpeggio, laid-back drums and lush vocals result in an almost Manchester-esque slow disco pills-thrills-and-bellyache vibe - this is Wire at their most hypnotic and enjoyable. 

 HF Slowcore Wire! Yeah this is one of my favourites from this list. Having time away from something can let you come back to it without as much creative control or care, and refreshing your image of what the thing is in the first place. Step away, come back more naturally. This is softer, but it's still as weird as anything else they made in the last 20 years. Pretty banging video too, mind. It feels like you're in one of those dreams where you try and run but you got sandbags on your feet. But in this one, it's Drew Barrymore from Donny Darko and she's apathetic as fuck.

Bad Worn Thing

KWL Their first album properly “back” after a period of sporadic activity through the 2000s, Red Barked Tree is the sound of a band of fifty-somethings consistently at peace with the idea of re-defining what their band IS, without at any point ever stepping on the toes of their older selves. Another album highlight (with acoustic guitars) Adapt, sums it up pretty nicely. "Go east / Go north / Go south / Go west / Leave mouths open / With your best / Adapt to change / Stay unimpressed”. Bad Worn Thing finds the band both tapping into 2000s alternative music and subjecting it totally to their musical and lyrical interpretations. An upbeat, undeniably British-feeling slice of sauntering pop, one that makes me feel like I’m taking an afternoon walk through a British urban landscape to the shop on the first sunny day in weeks - all while giving a pretty caustic account of Britain’s ongoing relationship with its past and by implication, it’s future. “Follow me, no explanation/ the future sold the chancellor paces/ the growing pains associated with a past that no-one faces.”

 HF This feels so much more British than much of what we've had from them on this list so far. This is Britpop Wire. Dam right they sound like they're back, they have something new to say, they're older and more jaded, but they still have something to say. I love the 'overcrowded nature of things' repetition. Like they've come back to this messy DIY music thing and it's a fucking full house. So you gotta build your own. Mind you, I'd say Wire have always lived in the garage.

Used To

KWL Another huge cut from Chairs Missing - and a perfect example of what critic Simon Reynolds called Wire’s “strange clockwork geometry” - a blissful piece of post-punk psychedelia and definitely one of the climaxes of a record that enjoys an embarrassment of rich, blissed out moments. I would definitely cite Wire’s work in this period as proof of the utter compatibility of the experimental, expansive, forward thinking music of the 60s and 70s and the abrasiveness and brevity of punk. Indeed, it sounds like bullshit now, but the same A+R man who signed Pink Floyd and the Sex Pistols was responsible for EMI’s acquisition of the band while they were still in their infancy. For me, basically everything that made the years 1976-1979 so exciting and vital in the history of unpopular music is represented in this album, whether it be this, the Beatles-on-glue vibes of ‘I am the Fly’ or the aggressive minimalism of ‘Being Sucked in Again’, the album just gives and gives and gives. An absolute classic.

 HF Very pleased we went back to this to close. Absolutely loving the post-punk psychedelia tag on this baby. Again, everything you say above that I hear in this record is their observant nature as a band to look back at the twenty years before them and incorporate what's important, what's wrong, what's right and the relationship of all that against their own stronghold. It reinforces their importance and their place in all of this. Not everyone, hardly anyone, has the ability to be the originator of something whilst being so observant (the latter being one of the most troubling things for humankind) at the same time. A perfect place to end with Wire: it repeats, it talks, it stays with you for a moment and then it's gone. Thanks Kai.

 Silver Jews

Harry Fanshawe Like many of us, my summer last year was consumed by the release of David Berman's new album under the 'Purple Mountains' moniker and then his sudden death. I'm sure many of us also went back through his entire catalogue once we'd exhausted our ears of his latest and last offering. Silver Jews have always been a standout band for me, usually sitting with things like Leonard Cohen or the Velvet Underground in my poor attempts at genre categorising. 

What's always stood out to me in this way, making it something I've struggled to place with more contemporary artists, is the looseness in the music and the corresponding looseness in its lines between music and prose. Like Leonard or Lou, SJ have a truly unique way of delivering and intertwining music and meaning. Where the new Purple Mountains record is much more polished in its production, my fondness for the old Silver Jews records has always been like that of an old, familiar room; their rusty structures and broken floorboards bring with them more character and heart than any solid new build could and, given last summer’s events, it now holds a very special place in my heart.

KWL I remembered having heard about David Berman’s suicide because many of my most misanthropic and refined friends had been especially despondent about it - it seems I missed the boat on that particular opportunity to be saddened by the loss of a great artist, so having this opportunity to go back and be able posthumously introduced to him has been a strange experience - cool that Harry and I have these different perspectives on his work and death…like reading a sentence with a full stop at the end, or something.

 Albermarle Station

HF A tender country offering inhabited by old ghosts, broken bridges and ivy covered screens. This song always reminded me of travel, of the lingering memories from recent events in recent places bouncing around the mind after an experience somewhere with people. All whilst anticipating the next destination. There's a train station near my parents’ house and as a teenager I used to travel from it a lot to see friends. That place hasn't changed at all in the 15 years since, and the rare occasions I go there now just bring back all of it; all the old ghosts while I sit and wait near the ivy covered screens and the rickety old bridge.Travel is a time that allows for rumination and retreat, and that can be savoured in all of its broken glory. 

KWL A surprising first listen - I’m not sure exactly what I expected, maybe something a bit glossier and more upbeat, but this is great - ramshackle, melodic and with lyrics that will take a million listens. It sort of reminds me of Red House Painters but with wit, self-deprecation and genuine insight in place of abrasiveness and machismo. Berman is a prepossessing and fascinating figure in light of his suicide, I should imagine before just as much and also considering the esteem in which a lot of people held and hold him. Maybe you led me there but this song definitely feels like they have a foot in the past, in those old, deserted spaces you pass through on the way somewhere.

 New Orleans

 HF From that slightly out of tune guitar at the start to the doubled up lazy groans about the trouble in the stairs; to me this song is the dusty corner of an old house, the gold in the cellar, and it's not the house you think it is. Keeping up with a nostalgic line of thinking, this track captures the 'otherness' of the past, the distance it eventually takes, even when it can be so well set in stone by old artefacts and rooms. It beholds the length of reflective nights and the depth of their texture. Trapped inside the song where the night's are so long, we count sheep to find soothing sleep. An early banger from Berman.

 KWL This is also great - there’s something hugely admirable about a song being able to be this rickety and cobbled-together-sounding while still being so evocative. It’s like, they could probably have recorded it without the out of key guitar lines or the drums losing the beat, but they didn’t - and there’s beauty in the imperfection. The song has that ‘On The Beach’ feeling of the end of a long, drunken night, when the ash-tray is full and the kitchen needs tidying before bed. But you’ll do it in the morning.

Tennessee

 HF Clearly a trend is setting in here: the slowest country SJ numbers titled by places. Aside from the obviously amazing play on the title word in the chorus, this love song has some of the best one-liners as far as I'm concerned. Here's one: 'Punk rock died when the first kid said "Punk's not dead, punk's not dead”'. Here's my favourite: 'We're off to the land of hot middle-aged women'. Is this an optimistic look to a future with a spouse? As far as I care to know, the whole song is. Punk may be dead but love isn’t.

 KWL I always knew you had a type, Harry. Another piece of rickety out of tune folk-country storytelling that somehow plays with superficiality and reaches into the darkest depths at the same time. A bit of cutesy word-play and a really lovely key change in the middle of the song - this is actually going really well, isn’t it. I’m guessing the lady singing is Berman’s wife, just because the whole atmosphere just feels very close and personable - listening to these songs of Berman being in love and happy and stuff is startling in this current context. A great song.

Sleeping is the Only Love

 HF What's that? Another love song? Maybe! As blurred as it seems deliberately to be about loving someone and how incredible a good night's sleep is. As someone who troubles with sleep, I can agree that there are times when I would crawl over broken glass and hot coals to make it to sleep. I also love the reflection from that onto the peace had with a good functioning relationship with someone you love. Sleep and love intertwined.

 KWL All these love songs have taken on a very strange overtone, now. This one has somewhere in it a snapshot of Berman and his wife settling down to the quiet life in Nashville - it’s all pretty beautiful, and it’s very impressive to go about making so intricate a love song about something as banal as sleep. I think there’s a snapshot here of the kind of intimacy that goes beyond the sexual - where somehow sleeping next to someone is the most intimate thing of all - the rolling over, the arms going to sleep, the waking up, the bad breath. The real deal.

 Punks in the Beerlight

 HF A song for the addicts! After a hot summers day, what better than the transcendence found in the cooling of a beautiful summers night? How could you make that even better? I guess you could smoke the gel off a fentanyl patch? This song is for a long summer night where you can go and run away into the night with a friend, find the nicest, deadest park around and watch that sun go down. And what comes after we exhaust our routes for escape? Let's not kid ourselves. It gets really really bad. Gotta love that 80s glam section after the first chorus too.

 KWL Ok, so I feel I need to state here that Harry’s article has sent me down a deep rabbit hole of SJ/David Berman appreciation. It’s strange to find him here, at this point and I just wonder what it would have been like to have been like “I hope David Berman’s doing okay” at random intervals in life. This is easily the most conventionally beautiful song on the list so far and somehow it examines some of the darkest corners of the human experience. It reminds me of the beauty of being in love - all other markers fade into unimportance, rendering the rich paupers and the poor rich beyond dreams, together; a beautiful juxtaposition, part love song, part junkie memoir.

 Advice to the Graduate

 HF 'Your third drink will lead you astray.' Let's follow on from the last theme. 'So you've got no friends and you wander through the night. And now you watch the sunrise through a rifle-sight'. This song speaks for itself.

 KWL This song seems to be quite strongly advocating the “school of life” diploma - that when you finish all the arbitrary self-building, that there’s a big wide world to step out into that’s all misery and addiction and what’s your deep critical analysis of Edgar Rice Burroughs going to do for you then? It sounds so slack, a borderline The Shaggs influence - Berman said that all of his favourite singers couldn’t sing, and it doesn’t sound like he or his backing band was much better. A genuine advert for keeping the musicians out of music…

K-Hole

 HF I've never understood the appeal of a K-Hole, I suppose that DB doesn't either, since he compares it to the feeling of being left alone. Though he does still reserve his fondness for booze as a trustworthy fallback during tough times. Perhaps that's it; it can go too far. I love the string arrangements in this song, it feels outback and rural, the lyrics appeal to that sense of dusty distance too.

 KWL I have a real soft spot in my heart for when the music of a song seems to run in tandem with its lyrical content, and I must say lots of the instrumental here feels like an out of body hallucination of a country song - large swathes of the song feel like Alice in Wonderland or that first Pink Floyd record that sounds like a Kaleidoscopic Circus.  

Dallas

 HF You know the way a city can change completely in character when night hits. When all the blazing sunlight lifts and leaves you with the purity of a place. It's like a deep breath of fresh air after a heavy day, you can feel your spirits lift as the weight peels away. This is a great, simple example of DB, highlighted best in the last lines: 'Poor as a mouse every morning, rich as a cat every night, Some kind of strange magic happens, when the city turns on her lights’.

 KWL The lyrics to this really grabbed me too - but not so much in respect of the city at night, but the string of non-sequiturs that pepper the song, something that DB is obviously really great at - painting those little pictures. There’s the bit about his shrink’s former NFL career, the eroticism of CPR, “our record just went aluminium” - all absolutely amazing. I’ve heard hundreds of songs about hundreds of places, but they never came as unique or as vivid as this.

 I Remember Me

 HF Another example of being a sucker for the whimsical. 'I remember you and I remember me': through the years you can lose the old parts of yourself. When you're in a relationship these losses double, and when you look back in your 'now' state to the person you were right back at the beginning, and the person they were, it makes you appreciate the whimsical and the romantic because they are so short-lived and random. Even though you change through those years, that change enables each quirk and trait that you might look back on and miss. So soak it up while it's there lest you regret its disappearance. In this story, the characters end up apart, but whether or not you do, know that even if you are still together, parts of you can always remain apart.

 KWL This is the best song on the list, for me - absolutely gorgeous and very very moving indeed. Somehow, Berman manages to sum up in his songs and in his writing that life is a huge collection of these tiny tiny moments, and maybe if we looked more closely at the tiny moments, the enormousness of life might not seem so terrifying. A sort of temporal looking after the pennies, so to speak. This one screams “don’t wait for the perfect moment, it’s now”. 

How to Rent a Room

 HF A great ender for this list. 'I want to wander through the night as a figure in the distance even to my own eye'. 'No I don't really want to die. I only want to die in your eyes'. If only…

 KWL Further research into the life of DB has directed me towards the fact that his father represents the worst of the worst of the American Republican corporate lobbying parasite - against environmental protections, the minimum wage, health warnings on tobacco, labour rights and trade regulations, to name just a few, and whose son Berman seemed ashamed to be. I just looked through the lyrics to this and they genuinely seem to be a letter to his dad, who he called “a despicable man … [a] human molestor … an exploiter … a scoundrel” saying “I’d rather be dead than your son.” 

 Thanks for this Harry, it’s been a real pleasure and a great introduction to a fascinating man and his band. May he rest in peace.

For the full playlist, click here

[eversall]

for @sunlewis, who came up with this glee au and then waited patiently for like a month for me to finish it. love of my life @softjimon for helping me edit and cheerleading me into publishing it. anne and jess are two of the best people on this planet earth and you can fight me on that!!

if you ever want to be in love (i’ll come around) || jace/simon, 10k+, glee au || ao3 link here

“And all your tears will subside ,” She sings softly, her voice quieting down as the music lowers to just a single guitar again. Simon and Jace are standing by the lamp, and Jace looks at Simon, drinking in the sight of him crossing his arms and bumping shoulders with Jace, happily singing. “ And all your tears, will dry .”

.

It’s serenades week in Musical Performance 113, the slightly less exciting college version of Glee Club. Simon’s decided to woo Jace with this; Jace has decided to have an existential crisis with it.

songs used: for the love by hearts and colors, once in a lifetime by landon austin, rhythm of love by plan white t’s, incomplete by james bay (link to gorgeous dance cover). 

fic title taken from if you ever want to be in love, by james bay

“I’m gonna do it,” Simon says confidently as he walks into the classroom, fiddling with the strap of his backpack, Clary nodding encouragingly next to him, “I’m gonna do it, it’s gonna happen today, it’s - “ He catches sight of Jace sprawled insolently across one of the chairs, running a hand through his hair as he smirks down at his phone, uncaring and unfairly good-looking.

“It’s not happening, nope, no.” He hisses under his breath, turning on his heel and intending to just skip class, when a hand curls into his collar and yanks him backwards. 

“Oh no you don’t.” Magnus says, tugging him into the room despite his protests. “I didn’t spend all weekend helping you arrange this song to have you chicken out now.” 

Luke looks up in mild surprise as Magnus drops an indignant Simon onto a chair in front of the staggered audience seats, bodily dragging his backpack from him and thrusting his guitar into his hands instead. 

“So…you’ll start us off today, Simon?” Luke asks, amused, and Simon groans and briefly buries his head in his hands. 

“Simon’s singing?” Jace asks with glee in his voice, and Simon raises his head to glare at Jace and flip him off. Alec rolls his eyes and sinks further into his seat. He’s only in this class because Simon agreed to do archery with him last quarter, so now he owes Simon and is stuck here - though if the way his glance always slides to Magnus is any indication, Simon definitely judged right in gently nudging his friend and his roommate into the same musical performance class. “Sure you can handle the pressure, Lewis?”

“Well I can’t wait.” Izzy says loyally, shutting her bio-psych textbook decisively and leaning forward, absently slinging an arm around Clary’s shoulder. Clary looks at Izzy for a beat too long, and Simon briefly entertains himself with the wonderful thought that almost none of them are straight. Raj, maybe, though with the way he’s so aggressive about his heterosexuality at Victor, that dick that deigns to show up to class once in a while, Simon’s starting to doubt even that. 

“Yeah, I’ve got something prepared.” Simon clears his throat, and Luke gives him an encouraging nod as Magnus sits down at the piano and cracks his knuckles, only to be shoved aside by Raphael, who grumpily slides onto the piano bench and glares at Simon like Simon just asked him to sell his soul to Satan. 

“I’ll play.” He grumps out as Magnus doubles over laughing, going to claim a seat near Alec. Simon grins, remembering how he caught Raphael practicing the piano accompaniment to his piece when Magnus asked him to. They’re all good friends, even if they don’t act like it. 

“I’m here, I’m here, don’t start without me!” Maia gasps, sliding into the room just as it turns two, and she collapses onto a chair. “Exams are the worst. Okay, Simon, now you can sing.”

“Thanks.” Simon deadpans as she grins at him, and then he clears his throat, fiddling lightly with the strings before he looks up and locks eyes with Jace, who’s still smirking at him. 

“I, uh.” He pauses, and then says in a rush, “This is for you.” 

“What - “ Jace flushes bright, bright pink, and Simon chooses to ignore it, aggressively launching into the first few chords of a stripped down piano-guitar version of For the Love, a song that he heard at a party and immediately thought how can I make this sadder?

“You say the word and I’ll go wild,” Simon starts softly, his voice low, “start a fire in a heartbeat.” Jace is slowly shifting back in his chair, straightening from his slouch as he regards Simon with a blank face, the blush still lingering on his cheeks. “If you get drunk then so will I, crazy highs if we need it.”

“The things we do - “ Simon says as he launches into the chorus, joined by Raphael’s low timbre as he harmonizes for the love for the love. 

“I put you through, for the love for the love,” He continues, and Clary’s higher notes join in, swaying her head slightly, “I’m hurt by you, but then I’m healing - I get this feeling, we can leave but we don’t - “

“For the love, for the love.” And now they’ve all caught on, even Alec, and they jump in with backing vocals, turning the chorus loud and letting the sound echo through the classroom. Jace is the only one not saying anything, frozen in his chair. Simon feels his heart pounding away in his chest, adrenaline running hot in his veins, and he’s too far in now to stop and besides he - Jace means something special to him, through all the teasing and the late nights spent exploring campus, shoulders brushing, Jace’s infectious grin lighting up the darkness. 

“We run these wires, until they fall,” Simon’s voice echoes, strong, as everyone else lets their voices fade out for his bridge. Only Maia continues, seamlessly wrapping his melody in a hum. “We’ll keep on crawling back until we lost it all. Bask in the glory - the highs and lows - no matter how far gone we are, we don’t let go.”

He strums his guitar, lets a moment of silence play out, and then launches back into the chorus, the room swelling with everyone smiling slightly as they sway to the melody in their seats and look at each other, singing for the love for the love as genuinely as they can. 

It feels good, his heart soaring on the high of an amazing performance, and he barely gets the chance to look at Jace before applause starts, and he’s being clapped on the back by Magnus and Raphael, and then Clary and Izzy and Maia are all bounding up to him, and Luke starts talking over all of them, assigning them into small groups. 

Simon murmurs thanks, thanks, and then bodily shoves his way through his classmates, swinging his guitar by it’s strap to rest against his back, walking up to Jace, who’s biting his lip and looking at Simon with an inscrutable look in his eyes. 

“So.” Simon says, his voice overly cheerful. “What did you think?” Out of the corner of his eye he sees Alec get up, presumably to leave them some privacy. 

“I’M STRAIGHT.” Jace says loudly, too loudly, and Alec pauses - as well as everyone else in the room. Simon stares blankly at Jace, thinks maybe he misheard. 

He hears the sound of Magnus’ whispered what the fuck and realizes, no, he heard correctly. 

“You’re - okay.” Simon says, and his heart is dropping, dropping back into a sealed pit of hell where he swears it’s never coming out from again because this is what he gets for it. “Right, right. Okay. That’s cool.” 

Jake Peralta’s cool cool cool cool cool cool cool monologue pops into his head, running on repeat as he slowly backs away and grabs his backpack. 

“I’m just gonna - go!” He announces brightly, and then he’s turned and is sprinting out of class, blindly making his way to the apartment he shares with Magnus and Raphael. He’s sure Luke will excuse him this once from class, since he just publicly got his heart torn to shreds. 

.

The room erupts in chaos once Simon leaves, everyone whispering and staring at him, and Jace’s eyes dart around nervously as his hands fiddle with the edge of his seat. He has no idea what to do, he’s so out of his depth - and he can’t seem to shake the feeling of Simon’s eyes, bright and honest as he’d sang. His voice is so fucking gorgeous, it always distracts Jace. 

“What was that?” Alec asks, staring at him. Maia’s glaring at him from where she’s huddled in a corner with Gretel and Izzy and Clary, but that’s nothing new. 

“What was what.” Jace says, desperately trying to play it cool. “Nothing’s happening. Simon and I are just friends. Very friendly.” 

“Okay.” Alec says, and continues to stare at him like he’s grown a second head. He thinks he hears Izzy humming two bros, singing to each other, five feet apart cause they’re not gay. He wants to tell her to stop, but he’s also afraid of opening his mouth and accidentally blurting out Simon is so pretty and my heart goes a mile a minute around him what do I do?

It’s fine. It’s all fine. He said he was straight, which is just - great. It’s a lie, because he’s out to Alec and Izzy, but whatever. Whatever. 

He might be panicking, just a little. 

“Well,” Luke says, clearing his throat, “why don’t you all go work in your small groups? This is going to be a two week assignment, so everyone’s performances must be done by Wednesday for the group number next Friday.” 

“Next Friday’s the game.” Raphael says shortly, and Alec and Jace nod. Luke cuts them a look. 

“I’m well aware.” He says, and they all sheepishly smile. He is their coach, after all, as well as their musical teacher. “It’ll be a pretty laid-back performance, graded only on participation. No big theatrics.” He makes a shooing motion with his hands. “Off you go, work on those serenades.” 

Serenades? 

Serenades?

As Alec tugs him away, he looks at the board to see that this week’s theme is, in fact, serenades. 

Crap. 

.

Simon spends most of the evening curled up in bed, watching Brooklyn 99 on his phone. At least the nerds on that show get dates. Sometime around dinner, the jingle of keys at the door gets his attention, and he looks up in time to see Magnus and Raphael step in and drop their bags off, looking at him expectantly. 

“Dinner at Taki’s, remember?” Magnus asks, and Simon groans. 

“Go without me.” He waves them off. “Bring me back a milkshake and a hamburger. Please.”

“Simon.” Raphael sighs. “It’s gonna be okay.” 

“Sure, if the floor opens and I disappear right now.” Simon moans, and they both look at him, something strange in their eyes. 

“Alright.” Magnus finally says. “You get one night to mope, and then tomorrow you’re going to move on. I have a feeling your boy might surprise you.” 

“Whatever.” Simon says, already putting his earphones back in and beginning to ignore them. They leave, and he spends another hour like that before a loud knock on the door jolts him out of bed. He sits up and frowns, because he’s still just in his old sweatpants and no shirt, but whatever. Whoever it is gets to deal with sad, mopey Simon. 

He immediately regrets that decision when he opens the door to see Jace standing there with take-out bags from Taki’s in his hand. Jace opens his mouth, looks somewhere around Simon’s navel, looks back up his eyes, closes his mouth, and flushes a deep, deep red. Simon manfully resists the urge to shriek and cover his nipples. 

“Uh, hey - heyyy, buddy.” Simon says, making finger guns and wincing at himself. “What’s - what’s up?” 

“You weren’t at dinner.” Jace says, and now he’s looking at the ceiling, anywhere but Simon, and despite the situation it’s entirely amusing to see Jace talking to the roof. “So I got it to-go for both of us.” 

“You uh, you didn’t have to do that.” Simon says, opening the door and letting him in. He darts to the bedroom as Jace sets the food on the counter and grabs a sweater, tugging it on and changing his ratty sweatpants to jeans before coming back out. “Magnus and Raphael were just going to bring me food.” 

“Yeah, but I thought that maybe. Maybe we should talk?” Jace says, finally looking at Simon, and it’s so unlike Jace to be like this, unsure and hesitant, and Simon sighs because this is what he wanted to avoid. 

“It’s fine, Jace.” he says tiredly, trying to smile at him. “We’re friends, it’s chill, right?” 

“Yeah.” Jace says, and then he just blinks at Simon, not saying anything. For one, brief second Simon has the absurd thought that Jace might kiss him - and then it passes, and Simon raises an eyebrow. 

“Cat got your tongue?” He asks.  Jace looks at him. 

“Where are the cats?” He asks, looking around. Simon shrugs. 

“Chairman and Church are probably asleep on Magnus’ bed.” He says, and then he smirks. “Afraid they’ll chase you out again?” 

“That was once.” Jace says, frowning, and Simon laughs. “Stop laughing, they’re actually devils on earth.” 

“They’ve never ran me out.” Simon says, opening the bags of food. “Ooh, curly fries.” 

“That’s because you probably feed them catnip, you druggie.” Jace says accusingly. He slaps Simon’s hand away from opening the carton. “Let’s go eat on the Theater terrace.”

“That’s so far.” Simon whines, but he’s already grabbing his coat and his keys. He bites his lip as Jace cautiously peeks into Magnus’ bedroom and makes little cooing noises at the cats in there, thinking that he can pretend well enough that he’s not in love with Jace, but that isn’t going to make it any less true, and that kind of sucks. 

“Ready?” Jace asks, looking back at him, and Simon grins and grabs one of the bags, leading both of them out and locking the door. 

“Race you there!” He calls cheerfully, and Jace swears at him as Simon bolts off, laughing and cradling the cartons of food to his chest. 

“You left me with the drinks!” Jace’s voice calls out accusingly behind him, and Simon cackles as he keeps running through campus to the terrace. It’s mostly empty, save for the sounds of their feet pounding on the pavement as they weave past the student resource buildings and skid to a stop in front of the theater, taking a sharp right turn to collapse onto on of the tables that overlooks the rest of the campus. It’s his and Jace’s spot, one they found a few months ago and always seem to gravitate towards when it’s only the two of them hanging out. 

“Mmm, fries.” Simon sighs in happiness as he cracks one of the containers open. “Thanks, dude.” 

“No problem.” Jace digs his phone out and starts flicking through it. “Mind if I play some music?” 

“Keep it low.” Simon says, gesturing around them. “Don’t want campus police citing us for a noise complaint.” 

“So little faith in me.” Jace mutters as he sets his phone down, something classical beginning to slowly play, the melody quiet in the night. “Have I ever steered you wrong?” 

“Constantly.” Simon retorts, digging around in the bags and unearthing straws for both of them, sticking one in each of their milkshakes. “Cheers.” Jace silently clinks his cup against Simon’s, smiling slightly at him, and the moonlight catches on his eyelashes; Simon has to look away. 

“When?” Jace asks, amused, and Simon snorts incredulously as he unwraps his burger and looks at the campus sprawled below them, lights twinkling here and there. 

“Just two weeks ago you convinced me to go swimming at two in the morning. We were both sick for days.” He reminds him, and Jace hums, doesn’t say anything. They eat in silence, for a while, and Simon kicks his feet up on the railing encircling the terrace. It’s quiet, and peaceful; Simon wants to stay like this forever. 

He looks over at Jace, who’s been uncharacteristically quiet, only to find him staring back at Simon already, his eyes glittering in the night. Simon smiles, and Jace half-smiles back at him, turning to look over the terrace. 

“Yeah, but you always tag along anyway.” He remarks, and Simon laughs. 

“I do.” He says. “Brain damage, maybe.” 

“That’s never been in question, Lewis.” Jace says, leaning over and rapping his knuckles against Simon’s forehead. “You’re something, alright.” 

“Pot, kettle.” Simon says dismissively, and they settle into companionably bickering, comfortable and familiar. 

.

Jace thinks he might slowly be going insane, because Simon’s everywhere. He always is, but this week it’s suddenly more than usual; it feels like Simon is taking up every corner of his mind, drowning out every thought he has with his smile and his laugh and those goddamn bright eyes of his. 

“When are you gonna stop pretending you’re straight?” Alec asks him quietly as they make their way to musical performance. They have practice after this, and Jace groans quietly at the thought of how hard Coach Garroway drives them. After next week’s game, they’ll finally get a break. It’s not championships, because they didn’t make it that far, but it’ll determine if they come third or fourth in the league, and that’s still a pretty big deal to them. 

“I’m not really preten - hey, I’ll do it when you stop pretending Simon isn’t your friend.” He retorts, pleased with himself for coming up with such a snappy comeback, and Alec pinches the bridge of his nose like he can’t quite believe he’s still talking to Jace. 

“I am taking musical performance for him.” He stresses. “What about that makes you think I’d take it for any other reason than not breaking a promise to Lewis?” 

“Didn’t he take archery with you?” Jace asks, and Alec shrugs. “Also, didn’t he only recommend this class because that cute chemistry TA is in it?” 

“We don’t talk about that.” Izzy’s voice echoes, and they turn to wait for her to catch up. Her hair is wet and she’s in fresh clothes from when she left the apartment this morning; she must have just had cheer practice. 

“Where’s your number one fan, a redhead that just watches while you practice because she happens to have a free period?” Alec asks slyly, smirking, and Izzy flushes. 

“I just saved you from being interrogated about the chem TA and this is what I get?” She asks, indignant, and Alec laughs and lets her hook an arm in his elbow. She hooks her other arm in Jace’s elbow, dragging them both along, and they bicker the rest of the way to class. 

Serenades is still written in large letters over the board, and when they get in, to their surprise Alec makes a beeline for the performance seat. Izzy and Jace raise an eyebrow at him, and he shakes his head. 

“Not a word.” He threatens them, but the set of his shoulders is familiar - determination, and when this sort of mood overtakes Alec he doesn’t really back down from it. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Jace says, smiling, as he sinks into one of the seats. Simon skids into class a moment later, breathless as he collapses into the chair next to Jace. 

“Whoo, Alec!” He shouts gleefully, and Alec flips him off without looking from where he’s fiddling with the strings of a guitar. “I helped him arrange the piece.”

“Alec! Our   Alec!” Izzy sighs theatrically in her seat, slouching backwards and pretending to faint. “It’s so distressing when children grow up - ”

“If he glares any harder at you he’ll break something.” Clary remarks, coming to sit in the row below. Izzy immediately vaults into the same row, neatly sliding into the seat next to her, and Jace watches with a grin as Clary giggles at that.

“Ten bucks says they’ll be together by the end of next week.” Simon says, and Jace eyes him up.

“I’ll take that bet, and say it’s three weeks from now.” Jace says, and they shake on it. Simon’s hand is warm, his palm soft, and Jace is struck with the absurd urge to hold on, to feel the safety of being anchored by the other man.

“Jace?” Simon asks, and Jace blinks, pulling his hand away and sitting up in his chair as Coach Garroway comes in. “You okay there, man?”

“Peachy.” Jace says, nudging Simon companionably. “So what’s Alec singing?”

“Oh man, it’s so great, just really cliche and - ” Simon sighs, running a hand across the top of his hair, something pensive in his face. “It’s one of the sweetest songs I know. I wanted to - well, it doesn’t matter now.”

Garroway calls them all to attention, so Simon turns to face the front, but Jace can fill in the blanks - Simon wanted to sing it, or have it sung to him, and he thought he’d get that but he didn’t, and now he’s given up on the chance and let Alec do the song.  

And it’s because of Jace.

Even when Alec starts singing A summer rain is passing over , his voice low and hesitant, all Jace can think of is the look on Simon’s face, the wistfulness in his eyes. From beside him, Simon starts to harmonize, and it makes his heart sink even further in his chest.

Alec hasn’t said that the song is for anyone in particular, but the way he’s looking at Magnus is explanation enough, his eyes surprisingly earnest and determined. Alec always does see things through, unexpectedly persistent, and in this there’s no exception; Magnus has a soft, stunned expression on his face, something terribly vulnerable there that Jace feels like the rest of them aren’t meant to see.

Don’t you know, you stop the room Alec sings, and Jace picks up the melody and absently sings oh, oh after every line, echoing Alec’s baritone. He hears Izzy and Clary harmonizing, reciting the lyrics perfectly, and the entire room seems to be holding it’s breath, only the soft strum of the guitar and various voices weaving across each other.

You must be my once in a lifetime, once in a lifetime echoes through the room, Alec’s chest rising ever so slightly, and it suddenly clicks in Jace’s mind, and he looks at Simon, at his stupidly endearing face and the way he’s entirely absorbed in supporting Alec’s performance and thinks my once in a lifetime.

.

“No, don’t tell me.” Clary says as she drops into the seat across from Simon. “You’re practicing to be mopey groupie number two in the theater play, and that’s why you’re sitting outside of Jace’s class, waiting for him.”

“I’m sitting here because he asked me to.” Simon says indignantly, marking his place in his jazz composition workbook and setting it aside. “It’s our thing, Wednesday smoothie runs after he finishes class. You know this.” Clary looks at him and raises an eyebrow, sighing.

“You know I love you, Simon, but this seems like you’re just torturing yourself.” She tells him, her voice gentle. “I mean, he… hurt you, didn’t he? Why aren’t you thinking about that at all?” Simon groans and thunks his head down on the table.

“Because I’m a masochist.” He mutters morosely, before he straightens up and regards Clary. “I don’t think… he feels something. If he needs time to work through that, it’s okay. I’ll wait.”

“Simon, I just - you deserve to be happy too.”

“I know.” Simon looks up as the doors of the lecture hall open and students begin to stream out. He and Clary stand, gathering their things. “I’m just not ready yet to give up hope.”

“You have always been an optimist with people.” Clary smiles at him and gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “See you later, Si.”

“Later, Clary.” He says, waving as she walks away, and he turns to see Jace lingering a few steps away, a strange expression on his face.

“What was Clary doing here?” Jace asks instead of a greeting, and Simon gives him a look.

“Hello to you too. Yeah, it’s been a pain waiting in the sun for you, thanks for asking. She just wanted to -”

“If it’s such a pain you’re free to leave.” Jace snaps, his shoulders hunching forward. Simon frowns and reaches a hand out to clasp Jace’s shoulder.

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that.” He says, puzzled at Jace’s reaction. “You all right?”

“Fine.” Jace sighs and looks at Simon, running a hand through his hair. “Smoothies? You wouldn’t believe the stupid question someone asked today.”

“ Try me.” Simon groans, falling step besides the taller man as they make their way across campus. He almost forgets about Jace’s odd behavior as they get their drinks and meander towards the football field, where Jace has practice in another hour, until Jace abruptly brings it up.

“What did Clary want? When she was talking to you when my class ended?” Jace asks, idly leaning against the bleacher stands in the shade. Simon leans on the one opposite to him and makes a face.

“Some very inspirational stuff about being happy.” He says, which technically isn’t a lie. Jace snorts.

“You’re telling me that under the bleachers next to the entire colleges worth of hot dog wrappers and soda cans isn’t your happy place?” He asks sardonically, waving a hand around them. Simon grins and looks down at his smoothie cup, fiddling with the straw.

“You’re right, it’s the happiest place.” He says. “She’s just looking out for me, that’s all.”

“You’re not?” Jace asks, and when Simon looks up he’s suddenly much closer than he was before, having pushed off the bleacher stand and come to a halt right in front of Simon. Past the smell of dirt and metal baking in the sun, he can suddenly smell Jace’s cologne, something mild and vaguely sweet. “Happy, I mean?”

When his eyes meet Jace’s, it feels like all the airs been sucked out of his lungs at the intensity reflected in the blue-brown of Jace’s gaze. He’s drowning, lost in the uncertainty of Jace and whatever’s happening right now, close enough to be able to reach out and touch and take everything he’s ever wanted.

“Jace.” He says, unsure and Jace’s eyes flick briefly to his lips, the glance so fleeting that Simon’s half-sure he imagined it. “I don’t - I - “

He trails off. What is he supposed to say? What does Jace want to hear? What game is he playing?

“She’s right.” Jace says hoarsely, his voice quiet between them. “You deserve to be happy.”

He steps back, and Simon releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, suddenly aching to hold Jace close and never let him go. He misses Jace, which is ridiculous, because he’s right in front of Simon, looking lost and angry.

“I’m gonna head over to the lockers to get to practice early.” Jace says, and there’s a stillness between them that’s never been there before. “Stay and watch the practice? Coach always goes easier when Clary and you are there.” Simon smiles lightly at that, strained, and rubs the back of his neck.

“That’s not true, but sure.” He says. “Gotta study for that econ midterm next week, anyway.”

Jace nods, and they both set off. Simon finds a nice shady spot on the bleachers where he can slouch comfortably and still see the football team practicing over the top of his notebook. Clary finds her way to him when the cheer team starts practicing, humming and flipping through her nearly completed portfolio.

“Here’s the one I was looking for.” She says cheerfully, and she pulls one out to hand to him. He looks up from where he’s been furiously working out a supply-demand problem and squints at her.

“Is today just the day where we all stop greeting Simon Lewis? Hi Simon, how’s your day been? How’s your studying going - “

“Don’t be so dramatic .” She scolds as she insistently pushes the painting at him. He takes it and looks at it silently for a few moments.

“It’s us.” He says finally. “It’s all of us.”

“Mm-hm.” She nods, looking out at the field. “I asked Izzy out, by the way. Accidentally. I asked her to get coffee, she asked ‘As a date?’ and I panicked and said no, then yes.”

“Smooth.” He says, still staring at the painting. They’re all laughing, walking down the quad with their bags slung over their shoulders. Clary and him are at the center, laughing like idiots. Clary’s hair is flying in the wind, her eyes crinkled with amusement as she looks at Izzy, who has an arm slung around her and is grinning. On Izzy’s other side is Alec, explaining something to Magnus, who’s looking at him with an unbearably fond look on his face. And Simon’s -

Simon’s grinning at Jace, dimples showing in full force, and Jace has a half smile on his face, his hand halfway through the process of fixing his hair, shoulder nudging Simon. He feels a sudden, intense wave of longing hit him as he stares at the painting, at the shades of gold and brown streaked through the canvas, at the warm way they’re all looking at each other.

“Look, we’re maybe not…as good at reading signals as we always think we are.” Clary says quietly. She motions at her painting. “But you know, that doesn’t mean it was bad to try.”

“Yeah?” Simon asks, passing the painting back and shading his eyes from the sun as he looks at the field. Luke’s calling out numbers, and they’re all throwing themselves at each other. The cheerleaders are going through their cool down exercises on the other end of the field, Izzy standing at the front and calling out orders.

“I know I told you you deserve to be happy.” Clary says firmly. “And you do . And I just don’t want you and Jace to mess up the happiness you guys do give each other just because you’re reenacting Romeo and Juliet.”

“I really thought I had a chance.” Simon says quietly, staring down at his econ notes again, unseeing. “I still do, he almost - well, I don’t know what he was doing by the bleachers. He looked like he was going to kiss me.”

Clary puts her arm around him and squeezes him tight, her eyes full of sympathy. On anyone else it annoys him, but on Clary, who has only ever wanted him to be happy, it’s alright.

“You’ll get there, yeah?” She says, and he smiles, feeling a little lighter.

“I will.” He agrees, just as Izzy makes her way to them.

“Hey.” She grins at Clary, and waves at Simon. “I know I’m sweaty and we technically haven’t had a first date yet, but mind a kiss on the cheek?”

“Oh,” Clary sighs dramatically as she gets up, “what will my Mama say at the audacity?” Izzy laughs as she presses a kiss to Clary’s cheek, making a loud smacking noise as she pulls away.

“Hey Lewis!” Jace yells from the edge of the field, leaning  on the fence that separates the bleachers and the grass. “Did you rig the bet so you would win?”

“Can’t help it if you’re slow on the uptake!” Simon hollers back. “Go shower and give me my ten bucks!”

“You bet on us?” Izzy muses. “I’m disappointed in Jace for betting wrong, honestly. And he calls himself my brother.”

“Ah yes, because we all could have predicted Clary tripping over her own words and accidentally asking you out.” Simon says wisely, tapping his nose, and Clary shoves him as he laughs.

They wait for Jace and Izzy to shower, and then they head to the Lightwood’s apartment, amicably chatting. He and Jace are back to their usual rhythm, with Jace obnoxiously flipping his wet hair in Simon’s direction and spraying him with water. It feels good to be back to solid footing with Jace, but there’s an undercurrent of something he can’t quite place, like he’s tiptoeing on the edge of a precipice, something about to happen to throw him off the cliff.

.

Jace can’t stop sneaking glances at Simon as they walk back, his heart unnaturally fast in his chest as he takes in the way Simon looks pensive every now and then, like he’s trying to figure something out. Fuck but Jace has got it bad for him, and it’s paralyzing him with indecision. He doesn’t do this whole thing, not really, and now more than ever he wishes he’d had enough courage to say yes to Simon when he’d been serenaded a week ago.

But if there’s one thing he’s never been good with, he thinks, it’s saying yes. He sees the way Clary and Izzy gravitate toward each other on the walk back to the apartment he and Izzy share with Alec, and it feels like a punch in the gut to see the easy way Izzy seems to adjust her heart to vulnerability. It seems like an insurmountable task to him, an impossible thing to let himself be happy with Simon.

Simon , who probably doesn’t even want him anymore; it’s all a moot point anyway since he missed his chance -

“Hey, hey , earth to Jace?” Simon asks. “You in there man?”

“‘Course.” Jace says easily, flicking Simon’s shoulder. “I don’t always have my head in the clouds like some people.”

“ Hey .” Clary and Simon both exclaim at the same time, and Jace snorts as they both look at each other in surprise and indignation. Izzy laughs as she turns the key in the lock and lets them all into the apartment.

“You’re both the worst daydreamers.” She says fondly, moving to clear some of the takeout containers from yesterday’s dinner off the table. “You could do with coming down from there once in a while so you don’t trip over things.”

“I’ll have you know I’m the epitome of grace.” Simon sniffs haughtily as he sprawls into their ratty armchair, the one they bought from a shifty pre-med student who’d clearly been high when he sold to them.

“Well.” Clary hums, scrolling through her phone, but she doesn’t elaborate and Jace slides onto the armrest of the chair Simon’s on and ruffles his hair.

“Remember that one music department performance where you broke their mic stand?” He asks, and Simon makes a face up at him.

“I was panicking .” He says, sighing deeply. There’s clinking from the kitchen, and Izzy comes out with cans of soda, placing them on the counter.

“In case anyone wants one.” She says, and she looks at Clary, who’s staring down at her phone with a thoughtful smile on her face. “What are you doing?”

“Success!” Clary crows at that moment, ignoring Izzy, and she taps her phone and suddenly cheerful guitar music is filtering through the room. The opening chords are familiar, and Jace smiles as Izzy laughs with delight.

“ My head is stuck in the clouds, ” Clary sings, putting her phone down and reaching out to grab Izzy’s hands, “ she begs me to come down, says - girl, quit fooling around .”

“ I told her - “ Simon and Jace interject, Simon enthusiastically bouncing in his seat. Izzy laughs and covers her face with her hands, a flush creeping onto her face, as Clary continues “ I love the view from up here, warm sun, and wind in my ear - “

“We’ll watch the world from above,” they sing together, “ as it turns to the rhythm of love .”

They look expectantly at Izzy, who sighs and removes her hands from her face, smiling shyly at Clary, and sliding her hands around her waist.

“We may only have tonight ,” She sings, launching into the chorus, picking Clary up and spinning her as Clary laughs in delight . Jace can’t stop the warm feeling from spreading in his chest as he sees his sister happy, the way they can’t seem to hold back the emotion on their faces, and it wells up in him, a fountain of hope that’s sudden and uplifting.

“ But till the morning sun,” He harmonizes, jumping up and spreading his arms wide, winking at Simon and pointing, “ you’re mine, all mine .”

“ Play the music low ,” Simon grins, getting into it and jumping to stand on the armchair, one hand clutched to his heart and the other reaching out to Jace standing on the floor, “ and sway to the rhythm of love .”

It’s Clary and Izzy’s song, no doubt, as Clary prettily serenades an overjoyed Izzy; but as he and Simon leap around the room and reenact the most dramatic poses they can think of, at one point simply chasing each other around the dinner table while singing backup for Clary, Jace begins to think that maybe - just maybe - he can do this.

The fact that Simon is playing around at all, that he’s gamely letting Jace spin him as they chorus oh, oh, oh to Clary’s she rises, up, like the tide - the moment her lips meet mine , his eyes sparkling with laughter and his hair in disarray, is a testament to the kind of person Simon Lewis is , the kind that always shelves his own feeling so everyone can be happy . He’s so brave, and strong, and Jace’s heart stutters in his chest, almost coming to a complete standstill when Simon brushes his fingers against the inside of Jace’s wrist and sings lowly play the music low .

The door opens as they sing the last line of the second chorus and Alec and Magnus step through, looking briefly confused, before Magnus’ eyes light up at the song that’s being played.

“ When the moon is low,” He immediately sings, the timbre of his voice rich and melodic as he turns and pulls Alec closer, “ We can dance in slow motion .” Alec grins, soft and surprised, and they join the others in the living room, swaying together as Clary tenderly cups Izzy’s face for the last few lines of the bridge.

“And all your tears will subside ,” She sings softly, her voice quieting down as the music lowers to just a single guitar again. Simon and Jace are standing by the lamp, and Jace looks at Simon, drinking in the sight of him crossing his arms and bumping shoulders with Jace, happily singing. “ And all your tears, will dry .”

.

The six of them go out for drinks that night, to toast to Izzy and Clary, and Maia and Raphael join them when they get to the bar. They’re all crammed into a corner booth, pressed against each other and loudly detailing every instance where Clary and Izzy flirted with each other, much to the chagrin of the couple in question. Clary is hiccuping into her glass of beer, mournfully insisting that she’s not blind, and Alec, who’s actually managed to get some alcohol into his system, is trying to solemnly inform her that it’s because she’s too short to really see anything going on at an adult eye level.

“Well she’s my little hobbit, so there.” Izzy says triumphantly to her brother, but this sets off another round of a weepy Clary wailing that she doesn’t want curly hair on her feet, and Simon’s almost choking with laughter at this point. He’s only a little buzzed, trying to keep his drinking to a minimum as he sips patiently at his own glass of beer, and Jace seems to be doing the same, pressed up against Simon’s side and eagerly heckling drunk Clary.

“You’re the perfect height for Simon to use as a mic stand.” Jace says thoughtfully, and Simon nearly chokes on his laughter.

“What, Jace, like you’re the perfect height to use as a pillow to sleep on?” Simon asks, laughing. Jace puffs his chest out proudly.

“You can’t sleep on this,” He says, gesturing to all of himself and nearly hitting Maia in the face, “it’s all muscles . It’d be like sleeping on a hardwood floor.”

“Is that what you call it when you get excited? A hardwood floor?” Maia asks, wiggling her eyebrows and leering at Jace. They all chorus with laughter, hollering and making a nuisance of themselves as the loudest table in the bar tonight.

“You’re all horrible.” Jace sighs, and he looks at Simon as Simon starts climbing over everyone stuffed in the booth. “Where are you going?”

“Restroom.” Simon says as he tumbles out of the booth and unsteadily straightens up. They all holler at him as he leaves, and he grins, making his way to the corner of the bar.

On the way back, he sees Alec at the bar counter and detours to him, propping his chin on his hands and staring up at the taller man.

“Hey, hello, wassup.” He says confidently, and Alec snorts.

“Are you drunk?” He asks, and Simon shrugs.

“Very, very, lightly buzzed.” He responds, and he squints at Alec. “You’re not?”

“Sobered up.” Alec agrees. “Just ordering Magnus a drink.”

“ Yeah you are.” Simon grins, winking as he nudges Alec, and Alec half-smiles even as he groans.

“What does that even mean ?” He asks Simon, and Simon shrugs, eyes tracing the bright blue alcohol on the shelf behind the bar, wondering what it is.

“It means I’m happy for you guys.” He says, and it comes out more wistful than he meant it to, more melancholy, and Alec frowns.

“Listen,” he starts, “about Jace - “

“It’s fine.” Simon hunches his shoulders feeling like all he does these days is repeat that mantra. “ Really .”

“No, I mean - look, I know I don’t say this very often, but - Jace didn’t know what he was doing.” Alec says, his voice low.

“When does he ever? You say that all the time.” Simon smirks, and Alec cuts him a look.

“I’m serious.” Alec says softly. “You deserve to be happy.”

There’s a crash, and Alec and Simon both look behind them to see Jace standing there, a glass shattered on the floor by his feet. He looks like he’s been hit by a car, his eyes wide and shocked, and his hands clenched in fists.

“Jace - “ Alec starts, but Jace turns on his heel and walks away faster than either of them can predict; they’re left standing there, stunned, staring at the empty space where Jace was standing only seconds ago.

.

Jace can’t seem to get his mind to work on anything except running an endless loop of Alec telling Simon You deserve to be happy . It just seems so - so simple. He was the one that hurt Simon, that made Simon think that he couldn’t have happiness. What right does he have to even look Simon’s way right now?

Alec and Clary - and possibly the rest of the group - are all right; Simon deserves to have everything and Jace isn’t a part of that future. He can’t comprehend how he thought he ever deserved to be. Simon deserves someone who isn’t afraid, someone who can show affection without fucking it up like Jace does, someone who will adore him and be reliable for him. Jace is none of those things.

He reaches the apartment quicker than normal, taking the last block at almost a run. He jams his key into the lock, cursing loudly when the key doesn’t turn. He feels stupid and small, humiliated for no reason at all.

“ Fuck !” He shouts, slamming his hand against the door. “Fuck.” He whispers, quieter.

“ Jace !” He hears Alec’s voice call, and he whirls around to face his brother.

“What?” he asks shortly.

“Why did you run off?” Alec asks. “You okay?”

“Fine.” Jace says through gritted teeth, and Alec gives him a look and sighs, but he doesn’t prod. Jace isn’t even sure if he wants Alec to prod. Alec moves to the door and unlocks it, letting them both through. There’s silence through the apartment as Jace sheds his jacket and shoes, slumping onto the sofa.

Alec appears with a bottle of water and hands it to him, and he grunts his thanks as he drinks the whole thing down. They sit next to each other, pensive, until Alec breaks the silence.

“How much did you hear?” Alec asks. Jace shifts uncomfortably, his mouth twisting into a frown as he remembers.

“Just you telling Simon he deserves to be happy.” He looks at Alec and adds “I’m not angry at you or anything. Simon does .”

“Then what had you running away?” Alec asks quietly. Jace twists the Herondale ring between his fingers, rubbing his finger against the cool metal.

“ I was the one that said no to him.” Jace says, his voice low. “I hurt him, and everyone else is right - he deserves to be happy with someone else.”

“Jace - “

“And I’m just so angry that I can’t be that person for him.” Jace finishes, clenching his jaw. “It makes me furious at myself.”

“ Jace .” Alec sounds exasperated now, and when Jace looks at him Alecs’s got a fond look on his face. “Before you heard us, I told Simon that you hadn’t known what you were doing.”

“I - “

Alec shifts closer to him on the sofa and shakes his head. “Stop beating yourself about it. Simon never wanted you to do anything more than you were comfortable with. You can still make him happy.”

“But he deserves - “ Jace tries, and Alec pinches his arms, hard.

“He deserves you .” Alec says. “So go be yourself.”

.

Simon slouches into his seat in musical performance, frowning when he sees that Jace isn’t there. Figures.

He’s not sure what’s going through Jace’s head right now, but he wants to be there for Jace and help him through it - and he would, if it weren’t for the fact that Jace isn’t responding to any calls or messages, and Alec told Simon to ‘give him some time’ when he stopped by the Lightwood apartment.

Everything in Simon is screaming to hold Jace, to comfort him, and God - he really is in love with Jace. Nothing can stop that, apparently.

“Don’t mope so much.” Meliorn says as he slides into the seat next to Simon. “Over one boy, and Jace at that? You can do better.”

“ That’s not the advice we said we’d give him.” Raphael says, sitting down next to Meliorn and looking supremely annoyed. “We discussed this. This - “

“Well it’s true . Have you seen Jace? Isabelle is really the only one - “

“You’re still upset that Jace did better than you in that anthropology class, let it go Meliorn - “

“This has been the best advice I’ve received yet about the whole thing.” Simons says, laughing, even as Raphael scowls at him and Meliorn smiles serenely. “You guys are the best.”

“It’s - oh, he’s here. Good, I wasn’t sure what to say.” Meliorn says, and Simon turns to see Jace walk into class, the last person to come in.

Jace looks unfairly good, like always. It makes a fierce urge rise in Simon to dig his fingers into Jace’s shoulders and never let go, and when Jace looks at him like that, eyes piercing and clear, the emotion in his chest overflows. How can he keep going like this? It’s - torturous .

“We’re going to have a shorter class today, everyone,” Luke says, clapping his hands and breaking Simon out of his reverie. Jace is still lounging by the door, fiddling with the strap of his backpack. “We’ve got one last serenade left, and then I’m going to leave early because the game’s been pushed up by half an hour, and I need my players to be ready. We’ll push the group number to Monday. Jace?”

Surprised, Simon turns to see Jace walk forward, tossing his bag in a chair and gripping the mic stand. He’s standing tall and proud, staring right at Simon, and Simon can feel the beginnings of an adrenaline rush thrumming through his veins as everyone shifts around him, throwing little smiles and whispering as they stare at Simon. They all know something he doesn’t.

“This one is for Simon.” Jace says, his voice steady, and Simon lets out a half-whispered what because suddenly music is playing from the speakers, and Jace’s face is open and terribly vulnerable; Simon can’t breathe .

“ I breathe in slow to compose myself,” Jace starts, his voice low and rich, his lips turned up at the corners as he looks at Simon, “ but the beating heart I left on the shelf started speeding round, beating half to death, cause you’re here and you’re - “ He pauses and closes his eyes, and around Simon everyone else finishes the line, a soft chorus of all mine echoing around the room.

He’s dreaming. He has to be, he thinks, as the sunlight streams into the room suddenly, appearing from behind clouds and making Jace’s golden hair glow like a halo around his face.

“ So I press my lips down into your neck ,” Jace is singing, and Clary and Maia have joined in on harmony now, their voices rising and falling seamlessly through Jace’s tune, “ and I stay there, and I reconnect - bravery - “

He opens his eyes and looks straight at Simon, and then he shakes his head fondly, singing “ I’ve been trying to be perfect - it can wait for a while. ”

Alec’s voice joins in now, accompanying Jace as they sing scared of the hope in my head, it’s been making me sweat, but it turns out - and then Izzy jumps in, her hand tangled loosely with Clary’s as she adds you’re here with your head on my chest, I should’ve guessed .

Everyone looks at him, smiling, and Simon bites his lip, his heart thundering his ribcage as Jace breaks out in a helpless smile.

The music swells to a crescendo then, and everyone - even Meliorn and Raphael - chorus “ The world will turn, and we’ll grow, we’ll learn, how to be,” They sweep their hands out, clasping the hands of partners and friends as they all sing “ to be incomplete.”

It’s loud, deafening almost, and even Luke is smiling at him. Jace walks towards Simon, his hands in his pockets, not even bothering with a mic as everyone repeats the chorus around them, his voice rising clearly above it all.

“ I don’t wanna look down ,” He sings fiercely, his eyes alive as they fix on Simon’s, “ I don’t want us to break up in the clouds, all I want is to stay us, to stay with you now. ”

He’s almost in front of Simon, his voice strong as he repeats the bridge over the rest of the room’s chorus, the music a crashing symphony of guitar and piano twining together to create a sound that’s large and hopeful , warm in the same way Jace’s smile is as he sings to Simon.

Simon stands, half unsure of what he’s going to do, as Jace comes to his seat, and his heart is ready to fly out of his chest as everyone sings, jumping across chairs and matching pitch with each other as best as they can. It’s wild, and raucous, and full of the kind of spirit that only their motley assortment of friends can have; Raj is breakdancing to the song on the floor, egged on by Lydia, but Simon couldn’t care less at the sight of Jace in front of him, genuine and so very real . Alec and Izzy have their phones out, filming, and Clary is shooting them both a thumbs up.

“ And the world will turn,” Jace sings, joining in on the last chorus, “ and we’ll grow, we’ll learn how to be, to be incomplete.” Everyone else’s voices fade out, and he continues quietly to Simon, “ This here now, it’s where we touch down, you and me - “

He pauses, exhales, and continues, his voice quiet.

“ Let’s be incomplete .”

.

Applause erupts after Jace finishes his song, and someone is wolf-whistling, but all he can look at is Simon, who’s staring at him with wide brown eyes, teeth worrying at his bottom lip. Jace smiles.

“I’m not straight.” He says, and from somewhere behind him he hears Alec and Clary snicker and Magnus sigh, but he shrugs his shoulders and continues. “And I, uh, wanna know if you still want to try this. I like you, more than you could know, and if I can make you happy, I will.” He takes a deep breath, and tries to quell his beating heart.

“Just think about it, okay?” He says, and Simon looks stunned, floored by the revelation.

“Jace - “ He says, but Jace shakes his head and smiles.

“Think about it.” He repeats, and then he’s running down the stairs and grabbing his bag, walking out of the classroom and down the hallway towards the field for the game. He can feel energy pulsing through his blood, like a shot of morphine in his veins, and he’s grinning, unable to stop thinking about Simon.

“ Hey .” Alec calls, and Jace turns to see Alec and Raphael power walking to catch up with him. “Jace, why’d you run away again ?”

Jace shrugs, fiddles with his ring as he turns and they all keep walking. He’s still smiling, which is probably why Alec and Raphael are looking at him with curiosity and now with worry.

“He shouldn’t say yes to me just because I sang to him.” Jace says. “I just wanted to give him a chance to process it. I know he gets overwhelmed too.”

“You care about him.” Raphael says, a hint of surprise in his voice, and the unspoken you care that much isn’t lost on Jace. Jace nods, and Raphael looks marginally pleased. “It was a good serenade for Simon.”

And hearing those words out loud, that he just serenaded Simon , makes it even more real, the dreamlike quality of his performance slipping away as he giddily remembers how gorgeous and happy Simon had looked, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Jace wants to be the reason for that happiness, and he just - loves Simon so much that he knows this is it. He’d wait, like Simon did, if he had too. Simon is worth it. Simon is worth everything .

But he pushes that out of his mind and focuses on the game. It’s slightly nerve-wracking to play, because they’ve worked hard all season and the other team fights dirty, with the refs biased towards them. By the end of the first half Alec has to physically pull Raj away from punching the ref too many times to count, and Raphael is slowly and methodically making his way through every curse word in the Spanish language. Jace, sweating underneath his helmet, looks past the bright stadium lights to where a small group of people are holding a banner that says Lightwould you win for us? and smiles, because he can make out a tiny spec with brown hair that he assumes is Simon. He grins to himself, thumps his teammate on the back, and locks eyes with Alec.

“Let’s do this.” He says.

They play harder, faster, rougher than they’ve played in a long time. Dimly, Jace thinks that if they play like this next year they could probably make it to the championships next year. He’s too busy listening for Alec’s commands and tracking the action around him to think too hard about it though, and he grits his teeth and powers through the ache in his back and left knee. They’re going to fucking win this, they have to -

“And Santiago is racing down the field for the tie-breaking touchdown - will he make it? - Second left on the clock folks - Lightwood blocks an intercept - another one - he’s almost there! Santiago’s almost - TOUCH DOWN!!”

The team erupts into cheers, streaming onto the field to Raphael, who throws his helmet off and actually grins , with teeth, at the enemy team, hissing at them, before he’s hoisted onto the shoulders of their teammates. Jace manages to clap him on the back before the rest of the crowd of fans and teammates swallow him up, and he finds himself by Alec and Raj. They’re exuberant , and they can’t stop laughing and high-fiving each other.

“Look.” Raj says suddenly, shouting, and Jace turns to see Simon making his way onto the field, straight towards them. Jace takes a step forward, his eyes lighting up, and then he hesitates.

“Go get him.” Alec encourages.

Jace tears down the field, his muscles burning as he pushes them past his exhausted limit and runs towards Simon. Simon starts walking faster, half-running, as he sees Jace do so too.

“Jace,” Simon yells, grinning, “you were amazing, it was awesome, you’re - “

Jace crashes into Simon and sweeps him up, spinning him around in a hug and setting him down. Simon clings to Jace tightly, his hands finding purchase on the back of Jace’s neck, cool against Jace’s overheated skin, and Jace fists his hands in the front of Simon’s shirt, suddenly breathless at the feeling of broad muscle underneath him.

“Yes?” Jace asks, his lips inches from Simon’s. Simon rolls his eyes.

“Yes.” He says firmly, and then he yanks Jace down and Jace pulls him forward and they’re kissing , hard and fast and messy. Simon swipes his tongue against Jace’s lips and Jace instantly parts them, leaning in hungrily, letting Simon devour him, entirely too filthy for the very public football field. He can’t bring himself to care and he doesn’t think Simon can either, by the way that Simon lets out a low groan and slides his hand up to fist in Jace’s hair, yanking out his hasty hair tie and tangling his fingers in the sweaty strands. Simon pulls , and Jace lets out a sharp breath as his head is forced back and Simon skims his teeth over the line of Jace’s jaw, following it with a soft kiss to the underside of his chin -

“Can we keep it PG-13?” a voice asks, and they break apart to see Magnus and the rest of the gang strolling over, all smiling at them.

“Get a room.” Clary heckles cheerfully, and Jace tightens his grip around Simon’s waist.

“Absolutely not. The world is our room.” He says immediately, impatiently blowing away the strands of hair that have begun to fall in his face. Simon absently reaches over and tucks the offending hair behind his ear.

“Oh no.” Alec bemoans as money begins to exchange hands and they all cash in on the betting pool for Jace and Simon. “Oh no no no , you’re going to be that couple.”

“We sure are.” Simon agrees, smacking a kiss on Jace’s cheek. Jace thinks he’ll remember this forever; Simon, looking at him like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be than here, holding Jace’s hand.

.

Simon wakes up on Saturday to a warm weight on his shoulder, hair tickling his neck. He rubs his eyes blearily and squints down at the vaguely Jace-shaped blob on his chest, smiling hazily as he strokes his other hand down Jace’s bare back, following the dip and curve of the other man’s spine. Jace makes a noise and nestles deeper into Simon’s shoulder, grumbling.

“It’s almost eleven, we have to go to brunch with your siblings and their significant others.” Simon says as he blindly feels for his glasses on the nightstand and slides them on. Jace comes into sharper focus, eyes crusted with sleep as he screws them shut and tightens his fingers against Simon’s waist.

“They can starve and we can order room service.” Jace mumbles. “And then we can have sex again and again.”

“This is an apartment building, not a hotel, we’re the ones that’ll starve, and we’re not having sex until we study for midterms.” Simon groans, pinching Jace’s arm in retaliation. “Stop trying to be a bad - “

“ Midterms .” Jace hisses, and he sits up suddenly in a wild panic, blinking down at a bemused Simon. “It’s Saturday, isn’t it.” Simon sits up too, laughing as he nods, and Jace throws the nearest pillow at him.

“Stop, stop, this bed isn’t big enough for us to have a pillow fight.” Simon manages to get out as he smothers his laughter with the pillow. Jace sighs, looks upward briefly like he’s praying for strength, then takes the pillow from Simon and tosses it to the side, swinging his leg over Simon’s lap and straddling him in one smooth move.

“But it is big enough for other things.” He says, waggling his eyebrows, and Simon grins and leans forward to kiss him, morning breath be damned, unable to help himself, smoothing his thumb across the skin right above the waistband of Jace’s sleep pants. Jace makes a satisfied noise and drags his hand through the hair on Simon’s chest, tracing nonsensical patterns across his stomach.

They kiss for a while, slow and lazy, time seeming to come to a syrupy standstill in the warm morning light as they move together, hands skimming across soft skin. Eventually, Simon pulls away and looks at Jace fondly.

“I still can’t believe this is real, wow .” He says, and Jace smirks at him.

“Better believe it, Lewis.” He says, tilting his head and running his thumb across Simon’s lower lip. His expressions changes then, something more serious flitting across his face, and he carefully cradles Simon’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry. For making you wait. It was stupid of me.”

“Not stupid.” Simon says immediately. He draws Jace closer to him, and he sighs happily at the warm feeling of waking up to the sun decorating his boyfriend’s skin like this. “You’ve always been worth the wait.”

“You mean so much to me.” Jace whispers to him, and they’re kissing again, fiercer and deeper, pouring their hearts into it, until their phones ring shrilly with alarms and Magnus yells at them from the living room to get moving. As they’re getting dressed, Simon looks over at Jace and grins.

“But I’m never letting you forget the time you yelled out I’m straight!! to an entire room of people who knew that you were no heterosexual, no sir.” He says, and then yelps as Jace throws another pillow.

“It’s on Lewis.” Jace says, smirking, and then he’s chasing Simon out of the room, and they’re both laughing, and it’s perfect. It’s perfect.

[atomiktaco-moved]

Sing with me?

(This is pretty long. Sorry about that. Also please excuse my mistakes it’s like 3:20 am as I type this on my phone.)

It had been days since Anti had received his gift from Jack. The small ukelele was hanging on his back with the strap over his left shoulder as he ran. He was heading to the meeting hall normally used by the IIplier Egos to meet up with his friends.

‘The Host is gonna love this!’ Anti thought skipping up to the door excitedly. He opened it and hid his right hand behind his back as he walked toward the meeting room. 'Perfect timing!’ was all that crossed his mind as the Egos began to stand up and put away their belongings. The first to speak was Dark. “Ah, if it isn’t our favorite little glitch.” He spoke softly and sweet as everyone looked at the door. A chorus of 'Hello’s soon followed Darks comment. “I presume you’re here for The Host?” Dark said raising his eyebrow as his lips curled into a small smirk. Anti nodded furiously and after a small exchange he and the Host were off.

“Anti. Where are we going again? I would like to know the setting.” The Host asked behind the green haired boy who was practically dragging him. The boy jumped a little at the thought of the location.

“We’re heading to the flower garden remember?!” He almost screamed in excitement as the Host nodded. They reached their destination soon after and Anti began to put the final touches on his surprise. The Host softly narrated their surroundings to get his bearings then fell silent.

“Anti, I feel as though you have a particular reason for bringing me to day other than describing the flowers to me.” The Host chuckled a bit at the bouncing boy in front of him. Anti pulled up a chair for the Host and helped him sit down.

“Ok!” Anti began, “So I did have a surprise for you today. It’s a two part thing so be ready!” His voice full of happiness and determination to get his gift perfect. The Host nodded and couldn’t help but let a smile dance on his lips. “First off there’s this!” He said placing a red and gold rose flower crown on the Host’s head surprising him with the sudden act.

“Thank you Anti! I bet it’s lovely. Do you… mind describing it to me?” The Host’s tone began faltering during the question. He was still not used to asking others to describe his surroundings for him. Anti began describing to the best of his ability and watched the Host’s expression as he described the crown almost getting distracted in the process.

“That all I have to say for the flower crown. Now to the second part of the surprise! As you know, Jack gave me a ukelele as a gift a few days ago and I learned a new song! I wanted to play it for you as a gift. I’m not the best singer though so bare with me.” He said bouncing on his feet as he talked. Anti pulled up his own chair and sat cross legged on it. He began plucking the strings to get a sense of the key then cleared his throat. Anti began playing and sang softly as to not hurt the Host’s ears.

'If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I’ll sail the world to find you If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can’t see, I’ll be the light to guide you’

The Host chuckled at the word choice of the song Anti chose as the green boy stopped and realized his words. He instantly began to apologize but the Host urged him to continue. Feeling a bit guilty, Anti continued to play due to the Hosts request.

'Find out what we’re made of When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one two three I’ll be there And I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two You’ll be there 'Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah Whoa, whoa Oh, oh Yeah, yeah’

Listening intently and tapping his foot, the Host decided to the surprise the boy had prepared for him around. With a smirk on his lips the Host sat up straight gaining Antis attention and began singing the next verse.

'If you tossin’ and you’re turnin’ and you just can’t fall asleep I’ll sing a song Beside you And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me Everyday I will Remind you

Ooh Find out what we’re made of When we are called to help our friends in need’

A small pause occurred and only the sound of nearby birds and the wind could be heard. A smile grew on Antis face as he began to play again and both males sang the chorus trying their best to harmonize.

'You can count on me like one two three I’ll be there And I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two You’ll be there 'Cause that’s what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah Whoa, whoa Oh, oh Yeah, yeah’

They broke out into a fit of pure laughter and joy as they finished the song a few verses later. The Host let out a small happy sigh and fixed his disheveled hair looking in Antis direction.

“Anti…” he paused gaining the boys attention, “This has been one of the best gift I’ve ever received and the most fun I’ve ever had. I’d like to thank you from the bottom of- oofh!” The Host was cut off abruptly by an unannounced hug from Anti which he soon returned. They stayed that way for minutes on end enjoying the others company. The Host absentmindedly began playing with Antis hair as he whispered a soft 'Thank you’.

The Host soon got pulled away from the bliss due to a call from Dark he would have rather not answered saying he needed to return soon. After telling Anti what Dark said, they both walked back to the meeting hall as slowly as they could while having Anti stop and describe everything around them to buy some more time together. All while neither of them wanting to be too far from the other settled on linking their arms together as they walked feeling comfort in the others warmth.

(How did I do? I haven’t written anything in a while so sorry if it’s not that great. Hope you like it anyways!)

@fandom-jumper01

ANGIE U DID AMAZING OH MY G O D

When i was reading the lyrics i was like, wait i think i know this sonG

And then the chorus and then bAM

MY SOUL WAS BLESSED ONCE AGAIN

[imaginemedreamingstuff]

Big Weekend || Dan Howell

A/N: this imagine was requested by @let-it-go-and-live-again! I really like the idea. yeeah body positivity!! btw I added an about me page to my bio in case you want to check it out!

Word Count: 1.6K

POV: Reader

MASTERLIST

The sky was cloudy but the air wasn’t too cold. Thousands of people were just hoping that it wouldn’t start raining. I was one of them. I stood there and hoped while my body was made of 60% pure adrenaline by now.

“I can’t wait for them to start!” I had to yell because the crowd of talking people was just so loud.

I smiled at Dan whole heartedly. The huge grin on my face was so big that my cheeks hurt.

“You are cute when you are that excited.” Dan laughed and took my hand in his.

His dimples were showing and just the sight of him made me feel like my heart was going to burst. Although Dan and Phil had stopped doing their radio shows they were still asked to do some interviews at Radio 1’s Big Weekend, an annual music festival.

Dan surprised me by inviting me to come with him. I obviously had to say yes, especially since my favourite band was performing. They were going to enter the stage soon and thousands of excited fans including me and Dan were impatiently waiting for them.

Although Dan was allowed to watch from back stage we decided to mix into the crowd because there was so much audience participation during the band’s concerts.

For a second the crowd grew all silent, then the first fans started screaming. Welcomed by loud cheers and squeals my favourite band ran onto stage. They immediately started with their first song. The air was filled with bursting energy and excitement. I hadn’t felt so alive in a long time.

I started singing my heart out to the songs I had listened to a million times before, but they sounded and felt so different live. When the whole crowd started chanting the chorus of my all time favourite song I jumped up and down, not being able to stop myself from moving and dancing.

“You are damn beautiful, Y/N!” I heard Dan shout into my ear.

I only now realized that he was watching me the whole time and blushed a little bit.

As one of the band’s slow songs sounded from the speakers Dan wrapped his arms around me from behind and we swayed to the music. His broad chest was pressed against my back and he rested his chin on top of my head, kissing my hair now and then.

After the ballade ended I got on my tip toes again in order to be able to watch my favourite band member’s every move.

“Do you know how lucky you are, Dan?” I asked him laughing, pointing out the height difference between us.

Dan was by far one of the tallest people in the crowd and I looked tiny next to him.

“You could sit on my shoulders.” Dan suggested with a wink.

“Dan, everyone behind us would hate us.” I laughed but had to admit that I kinda liked the idea.

“Enter the world of us giants. Just one song.” He pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

I had to admit it sounded tempting. Very tempting actually.

“Okay, but if people start shouting at us it’s all your fault!” I gave in and Dan didn’t really have much convincing to do.

He bent down so I could sit on his shoulders. After I had gotten on top of him I was able to overlook the whole crowd. His head was in between my thighs and I couldn’t stop myself from running my fingers through his soft chocolate brown hair. I crossed my legs behind Dan’s back and he held my thighs for extra stabilization.

Dan and I were enjoying ourselves and I was so happy to have an amazing boyfriend like him.

Just as the song ended and Dan was about to set me down, we were stopped by the band’s drummer and my favourite member.

“Listen everybody! Do you see this pretty girl who got on top of somebody’s shoulders? I want you all to do the same!” he shouted into his microphone and pointed right at me. The crowd started cheering and moving around.

Everybody who was here with somebody followed his instructions. I, on the other hand, had an immensely hard time processing the fact that my favourite band member had just called me pretty!

The heat rushed to my face and my hands started shaking. I felt like my 16-year-old fangirling self again.  

“O my god he called me pretty!” I squealed once my feet touched the ground again.

“Because you are!” Dan said with twinkling eyes and made me smile even wider.

I pecked his lips quickly before I faced the stage again. Just as my eyes landed on the drummer again he took off his shirt, revealing his toned chest and perfectly defined abs. The whole female part of the crowd completely lost it. Never before had I heard such high-pitched screams.

A few teenage girls actually looked like they were about to faint. I had to stare at him in awe. I squealed along while he smashed his drums, sweat dripping down his forehead.  

“Damn I forgot how hot he is.” I breathed in disbelief and was too busy to notice the look on Dan’s face as those words left my mouth.

I was still jumping up and down like a bouncy ball after the concert had ended. Dan was guiding me backstage with him because I was too busy talking about the concert to concentrate on where I was going.  

“I can’t believe that just happened. Best concert ever!” I babbled ecstatically.

“Mhm” Dan mumbled quietly and I was again too excited to notice his resentment.

Back in the hotel we were staying in for the weekend I had calmed down a bit again. After changing out of my sweaty shirt and drinking what seemed like 4 bottles of water I was back to normal.

Since Dan and I were extremely exhausted we decided to go straight to bed. It was only Saturday so we still had the whole of Sunday ahead of us. When I was done with brushing my teeth and exited the bathroom I noticed that Dan was in bed already. I got under his duvet as well and was immediately greeted by his comforting body warmth.

I snuggled up next to him and rested my head on his chest.

“Thank you for taking me with you. I really enjoyed today.” I whispered softly and pecked his pink lips.

With a grin, I decided to deepen the kiss and quickly straddled my surprised boyfriend.

“I thought you said you were tired.” Dan asked raising a brow, teasingly.

“I am never too tired for this.” I breathed seductively.

As soon as those words had come over my lips Dan immediately flipped us over so he was on top. I ran my hands up and down his chest, taking his t-shirt off soon after. He connected our lips again, we didn’t start out slow, it was heated since minute one. The tiredness from before was gone as Dan moved his hips against mine. I couldn’t hold in a silent moan.

“Am I hurting you?” Dan asked suddenly sounding insecure.

I broke the kiss to look at him in confusion. Did he misinterpret my moan?

“Why would you be hurting me? We haven’t even.. you know.“ I asked him confused, looking up at him.

“I thought I crushed you under my weight..” Dan’s words were barely a whisper. He swallowed hard as has face turned the colour of a tomato.

My eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

“Daaann-“ I trailed, waiting for him to tell me he was joking, but he didn’t.

“What are you talking about, Dan?” I wanted to know, scared of his answer.

He got off me and let himself fall down on the bed next to me. I lifted myself up on my elbow to be able to look into his dark brown eyes.

“I- I’m just really heavy. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He explained and I could tell that he was uncomfortable.

“You are way over 6 feet, Dan. How are you supposed to not be heavy?” I argued.

“Yeah sure.” He mumbled unmotivated. My face fell, finally getting what he was implying.

“That’s not what you meant, right?” I breathed totally aghast.

“No.” He whispered and slowly shook his head.

“Why do you suddenly feel like that? You are so beautiful, baby.” I gently traced his biceps, taking in his beauty.

He seemed to quietly ponder for a while before he decided to voice his thoughts.

“I just, I don’t have abs or a toned chest and I’m not that fit and-“ he made himself stop in the middle of his sentence.

He grew all silent. His words brought tears to my eyes. Why didn’t he see how perfect he was?

“You are not saying this because I called that stupid drummer hot today, right?” I tried, but the look on his face at the mention of what I had said earlier totally gave him away.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would make you feel that way. Listen I don’t care if he is hot or not. He will never be you and I love every tiny bit of your body and your soul.” I whispered softly, meaning every word I said.  

I cupped Dan’s face with my hands and deeply looked into his eyes. “You are perfect the way you are and I love you more than anything.” I slowly said so he could take in every single word.

Dan blushed and I noticed that a small smile had found its way back onto his face.

“It’s not just about having a fit body, you know that. Now c’mon let me show you how beautiful you are.” I breathed and started leaving kisses all over his chest and neck, straddling him again.

[highlineheartbeats]

Every Song on Taylor Swift’s reputation

As analyzed by Time Magazine

1. “…Ready For It?”: Starting things off with a thumping bass line and rallying cry, “…Ready For It?” also offers one of Swift’s prettiest melodies. “In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do,” she sings sweetly before switching into her new-era rap-singing. “He can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor,” she insists, name-checking a famous — and drama-filled — pairing, and setting the scene for the rest of the album’s investigation of the perils of stardom.

2. “End Game” (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future): Swift tapped her good friend Sheeran for this slow-jam-style track, a self-reflective — and self-aware — plea to both the listener and a lover. “I wanna be your end game,” Swift sings off the top, allowing in a little vulnerability — before jumping into a rap-sung chorus. “Big reputation, you and me we got big reputations,” she chants, recognizing the baggage that her stardom brings (and name-checking the album’s title, of course). Of-the-moment rapper Future of “Mask Off” success adds in a slick verse, sticking to the love-against-the-odds theme. Swift goes on to sing she doesn’t want to be an “ex-love” and that she isn’t into the drama; it’s just her burden to bear. This is peak Swift: emotionally open, but ready and willing to have some fun with the hype around her own persona. Sheeran’s contribution comes in the form of another rap-sung verse in the same vein, seeming to reference his own relationship and the pitfalls that fame has placed in his path to love. His advice? Ignore the rumors.

3. “I Did Something Bad”: Swift knows that her critics have strong opinions about her; after all, the album is called Reputation. And in the bombastic “I Did Something Bad,” she appears to address some of the narratives that have surrounded her. “I never trust a narcissist, but they love me / So I play them like a violin, and I make it look oh so easy,” she opens this one over a sharp string pluck. “If a man talks s–t then I owe him nothing.” Here is new-era Swift: holding her head high, unapologetic and fiercely protective of her own success. Then, a funky dubstep drop brings shades of her mega-hit “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” into the mix. Heavily electronically manipulated, and punctuated with a strong beat, it’s a banger of a track — and her defiant response to her detractors. “I never trust a playboy, but they love me,” she insists, stating matter of-factly that it’s best to “leave before you get left,” and hinting that maybe her splashy former relationships weren’t all they might have seemed. And then there’s the kicker: “They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one,” she croons on an auto-tuned bridge. “Go ahead and light me up.” Of all the quotable lines in Swift’s oeuvre, this one is right up there at the top for its blazing imagery.

4. “Don’t Blame Me”: If you’re a fan of Avicii or Kygo’s brand of un-rushed atmospheric electro-pop, you might like the rich, vibey notes Swift brings together in “Don’t Blame Me,” a moody, dark song that starts out swinging and pretty, and builds into a gospel-backed EDM anthem. “Don’t blame me, love made me crazy / if it doesn’t you ain’t doin’ it right,” she sings emphatically. “Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I be using for the rest of my life.” Swift has endured criticism for her relationships: the fact that she’s in them, the fact that she sings about them. “Don’t Blame Me” could be a clapback to that criticism, reminding listeners that the heart simply wants what it wants, as her friend Selena Gomez once said.

5. “Delicate”: Swift is, appropriately enough, at her most fragile on “Delicate.” Refreshingly honest, it’s a melodic electro-ballad with a resonant refrain. “My reputation’s never been worse so, you must like me for me,” she muses, her voice a light wisp, in a wry nod to her year in the spotlight before breaking down her insecurities: “Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet?” Like pretty much anyone dealing with a new crush, Swift sings of moments of doubt. Perhaps even superstars have their sore spots. She couches this sweetly uncertain song in snippets of dates — at a dive bar, in her apartment — but keeps it about her circular internal monologue, always questioning just how much her feelings are being reciprocated.

6. “Look What You Made Me Do”: Swift’s lead single — and immediate chart-topper following its release — “LWYMMD” was a shocking reintroduction to the Swift of Reputation: hard, unapologetic, focused on retribution. Step aside, “Bad Blood,” this song is much more cutting. “I’ve got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined,” she reminded her haters over a Right Said Fred sample. The propulsive beat and insistence that the old Taylor was “dead” only sharpened her point.

7. “So It Goes…”: Here, she switches things back to romance, reflecting on just how a new love interest might help her out of her fixations: “you make everyone disappear,” she explains in the moody, murky opening segment, which opens into a trap-lite chorus about getting caught up in the moment (and, of course, leaving some signature lipstick “on your face”). But for life with Swift, that’s just how it goes. “I’m yours to keep, and yours to lose. You know I’m not a bad girl, but I’ll do bad things with you,” she adds with a wink; this version of Swift has made a marked departure from her squeaky-clean roots as America’s Nashville sweetheart.

8. “Gorgeous”: Yes, that’s Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’s baby daughter James opening up “Gorgeous” with a gurgle. But the rest of the song deals with adult topics. Over a bubbling, chime-like beat, Swift sings about the irresistible power of attraction — even when it’s not the best idea. “You’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts,” she sings with frustration. “There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have.” Despondent, she talks of heading home to hang out with her cats — and then, with a wink, invites her object of attention to join her.

9. “Getaway Car”: Told as a dramatic story of a heist and an ill-fated love adventure over shimmering 80s-style production, “Getaway Car” is one of Swift’s most metaphor-driven tracks on the album. “We never had a shotgun shot in the dark,” she sings with a rebellious twang. “Nothing good starts in a getaway car.” Swift’s has often had its fair share of melodrama; remember “Into the Woods”? In “Getaway Car,” though, she calls herself a “traitor” who turns in her erstwhile partner in crime. Looks like Swift might be willing to flirt with the dark side, but she’s no good at following through with crimes — of the legal kind, or of the heart. Instead, she says, she takes the keys and leaves the guy stranded at a motel. It’s no happy ending, but it’s a reminder that Swift isn’t afraid to assert her independence.

10. “King of My Heart”: Taylor Swift has always been good at love songs. In “King of My Heart” she hits her sweet spot, over a synth-heavy track and strategic auto-tune assist. “I’m perfectly fine, I live on my own, I made up my mind I’m better off bein’ alone,” she starts off. But it doesn’t stay that way for long; after meeting a (evidently non-American) paramour who pursues her, the story (and the song) go straight into the romance. “You’re the one I have been waiting for,” she gushes, dissing some other guys with “their fancy cars” who didn’t quite measure up to this new interest. And yes, the character in the title is indeed the king of her heart — and body, and soul.

11. “Dancing With Our Hands Tied”: Although it starts off as a down-tempo, melancholy kind of tune, “Dancing With Our Hands Tied” adds in Swift’s now-rote trap-lite drop to amp up the drama on this will-we-won’t-we tale of star-crossed lovers separated by an unkind fate. “I had a bad feeling,” she suggests about the romantic interest, but she goes on to dance with him anyway; some chemistry just can’t be denied.

12. “Dress”: “I only bought this dress so you could take it off,” Swift sings slyly on “Dress,” her most overtly sexual work yet. She wants her lover to carve his name into her bedpost; her hands shake in anticipation. A breathy, synth-y track with lots of whispery vocals, Swift is unequivocal about her interest in this person as much more than a friend. “Made your mark on me; a golden tattoo,” she sings cryptically. It’s a departure from her usually PG approach to love songs, emblematic of a Swift who’s claiming her maturity more than ever.

13. “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”: Kicking things off with a siren sound, Swift strips it back to a stomping call-out of the haters, a giddy sister of sorts to dark lead single “Look What You Made Me Do.” “Why’d you have to rain on my parade?” she asks, her voice petulant, sneering with humor and attitude. “This is why we can’t have nice things, darling: because you break them, I have to take them away.” When she tries to go diplomatic — “forgiveness is a nice thing to do” goes one line, sung in an angelic lilt — she breaks the fourth wall with a burst of sharp laughter. Swift is no longer willing to “Shake It Off,” as she once tried to do.

14. “Call It What You Want”: Maybe the most by-the-book Swift song on Reputation, “Call It What You Want” is a slow-burning meditation on the transformative power of relationships, filled with lyrical puns: “All the liars are calling me one,” she sighs at one point. “All my flowers grew back as thorns.” But this is still a love letter, and a reminder that Swift has moved on from the fray around her so-called “reputation.” “My baby’s fly like a jetstream, high above the whole scene,” she sings proudly, making it clear that the baby in question has taken her along for the ride.

15. “New Year’s Day”: Her one acoustic piano ballad on the album, “New Year’s Day” is a tender and intimate love song. The snapshots are sweet and evocative: glitter on the floor after a party, candle wax and polaroids on the hardwood floor, holding hands in the backseat of a taxi. “Hold on to the memories,” she repeats in the chorus, “and I will hold on to you.” Nostalgic for the moment even as it’s happening, it’s a lovely, effecting closer, letting Swift’s voice and earnest message shine without the complications of over-production. She may get her kicks with big pop anthems, but vulnerable ballads like this one are just as much a part of her musical DNA.

Lifted from Time Magazine