#once more these were drawn without references so please don’t yell at me for any inaccuracies

[pyxehastoomanyinterests]

some more slay the princess!! or, for the 3rd drawing’s case, slay the prince(that one post about transmasc damsel got to me)

[kayxleeee]

Loki Laufeyson:Delusions (Loki x Reader)

Warning: NONE! Slight Mean + Sad Loki

A/N: Love this one! I always feel so bad for Loki in Thor The Dark World :(

Summary: After Loki returns to Asgard he is immediately sent to prison for his crimes on Earth. Unfortunate events occur when Asgard is under attack and you just want nothing more than to check in on your beloved.

Word Count: 2k+

*NOT MY GIF* Do not copy my work

The news of Loki return to Asgard was both worrisome and exciting. There were rumors being spread about that he was returning as a fugitive for the destruction of not only earth, but the crimes that he had committed against  Asgard. You of course found yourself just happy to know that he was alive. He may not had been well, but sure he was very much alive.

Living. Breathing. Speaking.

Out of all Thor’s closest friends, you and Loki bounded the most, which caused you solely, to develop feelings for him. These feelings would lead to a sever fallout between you and your warrior companions. With Loki’s criminal accusations, hate and critism came from many, especially from Sif and Fandral. For you to still think highly of him,--well you were considered a traitor in their eyes.

When he returned you were forbidden to pay him any visits. Odin also ordered that the only visitors Loki received were of kin and even those visits were kept very minimal. Now with the unbearable news of Frigga’s death you worried about his sanity even more than before.

The queen has been deceased for a few days now, Thor was easily consoled  by Jane’s presents and the support of the Asgardian people who were also mourning their queen. However no one was concerned for the fallen prince, except for you. You knew that his crimes were severe, but nothing was more torturous than knowing of your mothers death and there is nothing for you to do because you are locked away without even the slightest hope of saying goodbye.

For days you try to receive information on the location of where Loki was being held. You are a warrior of Asgard, you should have known these things, but because of your so-called bias-ness for the Prince of Mischief you weren’t allowed. Your inquiries about Loki’s whereabouts in the palace were extremely noticeable and you received a lot of animosity for it, especially from Lady Sif. She called you stupid and selfish for wanting to see him. You were also accused of not having any dignity or self respect. No one would tell you directly where Loki was being held, but with enough sneaking around the palace, you finally over heard a few guards speaking of his whereabouts.

With the common criminals.

-

You have been watching two sets of guards for more than an hour. You wanted to  slip past them undetected, but you needed to wait for the perfect moment. You weren't one of the most skilled warriors in fighting but you were known for your intelligence and abilities to be clever in any situation. The plan was for you to create a diversion to get the guards away from the staircase leading down to the dungeons.  You knew that since the palace had been attacked from the inside out the guards would be on high alert. You cast a large stone, breaking a window to which the guards attention is drawn to the noise. They run into the direction of the shattering glass. As you sneak past them, the memories of Stif warning you fills your mind as you flip into the entrance running down the concrete staircase as quickly as possible.

“It’ll be the last thing you do” She threatened.

“He is a prisoner, he knows his crime.” She scoffed

“If you go to him, we will know where your loyalties lie.”

“Loki cares nothing about you, he is a man who cares simply for himself.”

You reach the bottom of the large steps, hoping you were turning down the correct corridor as you ran quickly. You notice on your way that the majority of the cells are completely empty. This worried you, but did not stop you from searching for him. You luckily reach his location without any mishaps.

“Loki!” You announce breathlessly watching as he paced around the small room with his back turned away from you.

His cell was tidy, clean as if he had not touched a single thing. He had all of his things that brought him comfort; fancy furniture, books, papers, and pens. You knew that Loki loved to read because the two of you spent the majority’s of your time together in the library. You felt at ease knowing that he at least had that. This was of course curtsy of the Queen; she asked for these items. Although he was being punished, the only thing she wanted for her dear son was that he was comfortable in his confinement no matter what he had done.

“What is it ?!” He snapped turning around to face you. He took heed in your presence and then pressed his lips into a thin line. “Ah, Lady (Y/n).” He greets you calmly, then an amused grin appears on his face. “Here to tell me the mighty King has passed on too?”

His comment took you by surprise, you assumed he would be just as grateful to see you, as you were to see him.

“Don’t be so morbid Loki!” You cut him off with offense frowning your face in confusion. “With the news of your mother passing, I would think you’d have far-more compassion for your family, for Asgard.”

“My family.” He repeats, mocking your charismatic tone placing his hand over his chest. “My Family is not here on Asgard. My family are no more than those disgusting vile creatures you fight and kill.”

“Loki I know you’re hurting, I know you have all this anger built up, but you have to know that you do have family and loved ones here on Asgard.” You say subtlety hinting at yourself. “I did not come here to be mocked.” You say in a calming voice as he walks over to you.

You place a hand on the enchanted glass as you look up to his figure continuing to speak. “I am not one for your dramatics, I just wanted to see how you were holding up.”

“Holding up?” He lets out a malice laugh. “Ha! Holding up?! I am locked in a cage like an animal!”

You slam your fist against the glass in annoyance realizing your loving reunion was falling flat. You did not come here to argue with this man, you didn’t even plan far enough to think of exactly what you wanted to say, but it was never envisioned like this.

“And who’s fault is that Loki?! Who’s fault!?” You snap matching his dramatic tone.

“My own! For trusting idiots!” He yells back and you can’t help but think what idiots he were referring to. He continues,  “Why are you even down here, Odin forbade anyone from seeing me, you can’t be THAT stupid. Or perhaps you want to cast more stones?”

“Cast stones?— I came here as a friend Loki. All this worrying I did for you, all the tears and regrets. I risked my own life and freedom by coming down here” You scoff rolling your eyes at his demeanor. “Just to be spat on by you?”

“Better I to you, then you to me.” He laughs.

“That is your problem, you always think people want to hurt you just as bad as you want to hurt them! Look at you and your brother, he mourned you, we all did, and you go and do this? Destroy and take over the only place he loves. What did you gain?!”

“Oh bullshit! That place was nothing, but a pathetic little wasteland! They needed ORDER.”

“They needed no such thing Loki, YOU needed a sense of belonging.” You say with emphasis.

“My god you’re just as delusional as my brother .” He laughs.

“Delusional?!” You yell.

“Yes.” He says calmly, pleased at how angry he was making you. He walks away and sits on his couch crossing his legs and resting his arms on top of them. “D-e-l-u-s-i-o-n-a-l, delusional.”

As he walked away you noticed a single error in his walk as if it all was an illusion. Something that only someone who knew Loki would catch if they payed close enough attention.

“Enough, no more illusions Loki. Show me your true state, I know you are not this heartless. The only person who stands here delusional is you!”

With that, what you thought was the real Loki fades away in shimmers. A much sadder scene formed before you. The cell becomes a mess, with the once neat furniture, either broken or distorted across the room. The scuff marks on the walls concluded that he had thrown the furniture with immense force. His beloved books were ripped and torn to shreds, and his once neat clothes tattered and disheveled. Your eyes meet his saddened pale figure sitting on the floor near something he recently broken. Fresh blood oozes down his foot as the glass that was lodge in him is discarded next to him on the floor.

“IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED TO SEE!? A BROKEN MAN YOU SEE !?” His unruly hair falls into his face as he screams at the top of his lungs, veins bulging from his neck.

You immediately go to the side panel that unlocks the cell, running to his aid. You kneel beside him where there is not much debris, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug. He barriers himself deep into your neck letting out a silent sob. You hold him close as if you never wanted to let him go.

“I am here Loki.” You whisper to him placing a kiss to the top of his head.

You have never in your seen the Prince so weak, so fragile, so upset, so venerable. This all must have taken a huge toll on him, you couldn’t imagine what he was going through.

“ I did not want this for myself, I did not want this, not for her.” He says lowly as his voice breaks.

“I know.” You rub his back softly. “But you have to know that she loved you unconditionally with all her being, Loki.”

“I-, I don’t believe that.” He sighs with a hint of hesitation in his voice. “No one could ever.”

“That should not be hard to believe because I do, I love you too, I love you unconditionally.”

“You love me?” Asked confused he pulls away from your embrace looking at you with puffy red eyes.

“Yes.” You admit.

“You surely love as a friend correct?” He questions with squinted eyes.

“More.” You place a hand on his cheek giving him a small reassuring smile. “I’ve always loved you Loki, more than a companion, way before any of this.”

He places his hand over yours, giving you a weak smile, then leans in to kiss you. You were surprised , but quickly adapted the new feeling. The kiss was sweet and slow, so slow it felt as if time had stopped. He pulls away resting his forehead against yours.

“This probably is the best news I’ve received all week.” He says with a light chuckle. "I'm so sorry."

You smile pecking his lips once more before speaking again.

“I hope you know that for me to love you unconditionally, that I know who you are deep down. I know you aren’t all bad. I know that you had your reasons for going to earth and ruining New York, just as you had reasons for all the mayhem you have created. What was it ?” You say attempting to have him open up more.

“My reasoning ?” He asked in an unsure voice. “ I do not know.” He concluded turning way to look forward as if he was thinking.

“I find that very hard to believe Loki.” You say resting your head on his shoulder, taking his hand. “But I’m here whenever you’re ready to open up.”

It was true, you never thought Loki was all bad, you knew that there had to be reasons behind his mischief and misunderstanding. A few minutes passed of the two of you just being in one another’s presents. You imagined in other circumstances, this is how Thor felt when he Jane, as if nothing else matter other than the fact that they had each other.

“It…. His name was Thanos, after I fell from the birfrost—” He finally spoke, but it was short lived.

“(Y/n)!” You hear Thor shout from the other end of the cell interrupting. He states at the two of you intensely.

“Thor it is not what is seems.” You say imagining Lady Sif would soon be on her was as well.

“You are not in trouble (Y/n), but I need to speak to my brother, alone.”

You turn your attention back to Loki and he nods patting your hand. The two of you get up and Loki weakly walks you over to the entrance of the cell that you  previously came through.

“We can talk later, you know I’ll be here.” He looks at you with a knowing grin placing another kiss on your lips, before Turing to his brother.

You nod turning away to leave the two alone to talk. You had hopes that one day you and Loki could somehow be together, and finish that conversation, but today was clearly not that day.

[buckyownsmylife]

Basket Case - A Tom Hardy Smut

The one where you anger Tom with your refusal to admit your feelings for him, until he gets you worked up enough that you can’t deny your desires anymore.

Warnings: smut, age gap, lots of swears, dirty talk (I can’t write smut without it), thigh riding, unprotected sex, overstimulation, spanking (briefly), pleasing kink? is that a thing? I might be making stuff up at this point tbh, hair pulling ‘cause I’m basic like that, squirting

A/N: This is pretty much a pwp motivated by my need to see more stories about this man. I hope someone else in this void is as attracted to him as I am. Enjoy!

Tom’s P.O.V.

“So you’re saying that it doesn’t matter how you feel about me, since society will never approve, you’ll not only punish yourself but also me, keeping us apart?” I was furious. My hands tightly pressed into fists, I tried to reason with the woman in front of me, my best friend. It didn’t help that she looked at me with those big doe eyes, obviously trying her best not to cry. It only made me get angrier at the whole situation, especially since I could never find it in myself to get angry directly at her.

“I’m sorry, Tom. You know I love you, I just…” she started, but I had had enough.

“Bullshit,” I cut her off, effectively getting her to close her mouth and stare at me in surprise. “You don’t love me, Y/N. Don’t lie to me, not when I’ve come here to your house, begging you to take me as your man. I love you. I’m willing to risk everything for you. Meanwhile, you’re standing there, too scared about what the papers will say tomorrow to act on your so-called feelings”.

I had to take a deep breath to contain myself, my hand coming up to comb through my hair in an attempt to calm the feelings that threatened to spill out of me.

“You don’t understand, do you?” She suddenly interrupted my train of thoughts, but before I could ask what the hell she was referring to, she crossed the room to stand before me, a fire in her eyes I had never seen before. “I’m not scared of my own reputation, Tom. Lord knows I have been drawn as the worst possible characters and I have always been able to come back unscattered. I’m worried about you. What they will say about you. That’s what I’m worried about.” She took a step back, taking a deep breath, her eyes still not leaving mine. “I don’t want you to be known as a predator or whatever the fuck they are going to say because of our age gap. You’ve been through enough under the public eye. You deserve nothing but happiness and I won’t stand in the way of you getting it,” she finished her speech, a little nod towards her own words as she breathed deeply once again, finally relaxing after saying what she had kept inside since God knows how long.

I would have been more surprised about her sudden outburst if her words hadn’t reignited the anger within me.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“And who the fuck do you think you are to make choices for me?” He all but yelled, taking steps towards me until I was pressed against a wall. He looked so utterly handsome, his brown leather jacket accentuating his broad shoulders, a few strands of his brown hair falling on his forehead. 

“I’m a grown fucking man, Y/N, as you might have gathered from the papers’ headlines. That means I can make my own decisions and I have been doing so for the past forty years of my life. I don’t need you to limit what I can and can’t do.” His chest heaved from the anger I knew he was feeling, but instead of scared, arousal pooled in my underwear at the sight of my best friend towering over me, his eyes searching mine for something. 

“The only person standing between me and my happiness is you. Tell me,” he asked, his tongue coming out to wet his lips as his gaze dropped to mine. He was standing so close I could feel the coldness of the fabric of his clothes, as they were wet from the rain he had endured to come to my apartment. I could smell his minty breath as he breathed with his mouth open. I could feel the electricity between our bodies, as he stood just close enough, not yet touching me. “Do you want to be with me?” He inquired, and I couldn’t find one single reason to lie to him. Besides, I knew it wouldn’t be of much use. He knew me too well, and as his eyes stared deep into mine, I found myself answering in all honesty.

“Yes.” My own tongue wetted my lips, which suddenly felt dry and eager to meet another pair, specifically the ones that stood just above me. He panted over me and I shivered, just as his arms came around my waist to pull me to him, mounting me on one of his thighs. 

“Do you want me?” He asked, knowing I understood the difference between both questions as his eyes once again traveled through mine, looking for any sign of a hesitation they would never bear.

“Always,” I wheezed, just before his mouth engulfed mine and I drowned in the sea of passion that had been threatening to wash me ever since I had met this man.

His kiss was just like him, daring and overpowering. His beard scratched my face in a way that made me whimper against him, which in turn only seemed to urge him on. He pulled on my dress like he wanted it to rip under his fingers and I found myself grinding against his jean-clad thigh, desperate to find some relief for the need that was killing me.

He shamelessly made out with me right there, in the middle of my living room, igniting a desire in me that no one had ever been able to uncover before. His big palms spread across my back, he seemed to understand exactly what I was trying to do and approved of my plans. 

As if he was reading my mind, he parted our lips just enough for us to gather our breaths. “You’re drenching my already wet jeans, love,” he whispered, erupting shivers across my skin yet again. “If I had known I was able to leave you this needy just from a kiss, I would have done this a long time ago,” he teased me just as I pulled him to meet my mouth again. 

It wasn’t just the kiss. He didn’t know the effect he had on me every time he walked into a room I was in, even when we didn’t touch. The contact of his skin on mine, however, his warmth against my body, was like gasoline to my desire, never failing to keep me wanting more.

Tom’s P.O.V.

I tried to show how utterly devoted to her I was through the kiss we shared. I still remembered the first time I laid my eyes on her and I couldn’t believe I finally had her exactly where I had dreamed to bring her for so long. She had become my religion, I realized. I wanted nothing more than to fall to my knees and dedicate my entire life to worship her - preferably through eating her out until she cried for me to stop.

My dick throbbed on the confines of my clothing as she slowly moved against my leg, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted her to come, I wanted to see her fall apart right in front of me, against me, because of me. So I took matters into my own hands and forced her down on me, quickening her movements. She gasped, not expecting my actions, I realized - her head that had fallen down to her chest from the pleasure coming up quickly to stare at me.

I leaned down over her to kiss her neck, smiling as I once again witnessed the goosebumps erupting on her skin from my touch. My touch. The fact that it was me bringing her pleasure brought me pride like nothing else. I kissed her just below her pulse point, losing myself on the smell of cinnamon on her skin and on her tiny breathless whimpers, focusing my attention in a particular spot on her neck as I heard her first full-on moan.

“Oh, the princess has a special spot, doesn’t she?” I approved, licking the place over and over again. Her head fell down on my shoulder this time and I was the one who shivered as her labored breathing hit me.

“Tom,” she pleaded, her hands finding their way under my shirt to scratch my back as she tried to resist my attack. “Tom, please…” I didn’t even know what she was begging for but fuck if it wasn’t the hottest damn thing I had ever heard in my entire life.

“What?” I nibbled on her ear, fully enjoying the effect I was having on her. “What do you want, darling?” I asked, still not stopping my movements, despite her push on my shoulders.

“Fuck me,” she breathed, effectively managing to stop me dead in my tracks.

“What?” I asked, perplexed by the demonstration that she in fact desired me just as much as I wanted her.

“Please, fuck me,” she repeated herself, pushing her breasts against my shirt as I absentmindedly noted that her nipples stood up from under her dress, begging for some sort of attention. “Please… I never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

That did it for me. It was like I was not even in control anymore. Keeping her up against the wall with one of my hands, I opened my jeans, letting it fall down just enough to allow my dick to appear and pulled her panties to the side. I didn’t even wait for a second before pushing myself inside of her, growling at the feeling of the tightest warmth I had ever had the pleasure to fuck. 

“Fuck,” I spoke, taking some time to gather my thoughts before I came right then, before even beginning to move. My face hid in her neck, her scream of pleasure at my sudden intrusion wasn’t lost to my ears, just as her tiny whimpers as she tried to get me to move. “Hold on, tiny minx,” I warned her, grasping her by her hips once again. “I’ve waited for this way too long.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

When he finally started to move, it was exactly as I imagined it would be like to be fucked by Tom Hardy. He was brutal as his hips moved in and out of me so quickly I could barely feel like he had left me at all. I knew I was screaming, but I couldn’t find the strength in myself to try to calm down, not when he was seemingly trying to nail me against the wall. 

“Tom, Tom, Tom,” I settled for repeating, over and over, not even sure why I was calling him, my head falling from the force of his thrusts. Despite his constant gentleness towards me and the declaration of love that had just left his lips, he fucked me like he hated me and I figured out then and there that it made me aroused like nothing else.

He managed to pull my dress down over one of my shoulders, barely exposing one of my breasts, before he engulfed the nipple into his mouth, biting on it hard. My vision blurred as I gasped and I felt my pussy contract around him, almost missing the long current of expletives he let out as he emptied himself inside of me.

We took some time to gather our breaths and I threw my head back against the wall in an attempt to find some air that wasn’t filled with him and his intoxicating scent. I didn’t miss the way he looked down at me, his eyes expressing the incredulity and amusement he must have felt at the situation, or the fact that he was still inside of me, still hard, despite the fact that his cum now pooled my underwear, dripping from my thighs

“You are unbelievable,” he started, making me meet his eyes again.

“What have I done now?” I questioned, curious but almost irritated at his comment. He simply shook his head, that cute lopsided smile appearing on his face just before he pulled me from the wall, turned me around, and deposited my chest over the kitchen table. My legs dangled as I tried to turn my head to see what the hell he was trying to do, but before I had the chance to ask, he had raised the skirt of my dress and thrust into me again.

“Fuck,” he repeated just like he had said the first time he entered me, and I briefly wondered if that was something he would do every single time it happened. My thoughts were interrupted as he pushed my head down against the marble counter and I welcomed the sensation of both the coldness that helped with my scorching face and of his cock inside of me again, especially since my stomach was tightly pressed against the table. He pounded into me again, apparently not in need of any kind of retraction period, something my pussy seemed to appreciate, as the feeling of being fucked despite its soreness was unbelievably arousing. “You are impossible,” he grunted, once again arising my curiosity. “Do you think this is how I wanted our first time to go?” He inquired and my heart skipped a beat as I realized the implication underneath his words. “I wanted to take you out to your favorite restaurant, treat you like the princess you are, maybe steal a kiss as the night was about to end, but did you let me?” A particularly rough thrust almost sent me across the table, but he impaled me on him again by my hips. “Of course not, you had to go and beg me to fuck you like the little minx you are.”

“You could have always said no,” I managed to let out between moans, but he huffed and gave me a spank on my ass.

“As if that would have worked with you, you little seductress,” he sneered, spanking me again. “I don’t think I would have been physically able to deny you, anyway. You make me so fucking hard, ‘ve been thinking about fucking you since the first time I saw you,” he admitted.

“Good,” I moaned, reaching out to grab the edge of the counter as he continued to pound me. “That makes two of us.”

My response only seemed to urge him on. My head was spinning with the fire that was rising from my belly and the sounds of his thighs colliding against the back of mine, our juices running out of my pussy as he fucked them into me again. As I let it fall down against my arms, that were splayed out in front of me, he slowed down a bit, gathering my hair in his hand to pull me up.

Tom’s P.O.V.

“You ok there, princess?” The last thing I wanted was for her to hurt. She released a long-drawn-out moan that calmed me down, but was still able to answer me.

“Y-yeah.” I used my other hand to pick some strands that were falling over her face, still not returning to my previous speed, just softly fucking into her. 

“You sure?”

Y/N groaned as she started to thrust back into me, effectively fucking herself on my cock.

“Yeah, yeah yeah… C’mon, Tom, please move. I just… I just really want to please you.” That little confession brought a silly smile to my face. I pulled her hair more forcefully, raising up the speed and force of my thrusts as I fucked her with all that I had.

“And you do, pretty girl… You really do.” The validation of her efforts seemed to do it for her. Her whole body quivering, she came one last time, squirting all over us. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

When I came this time, I had to focus all of my energy on making sure she was able to stand on her feet so I could drag us both over to the couch, where I let my body fall, making sure hers was covering mine.

For a few minutes, we didn’t say anything. I was unable to do much other than stare into the wall, softly caressing her back while I tried to find any strength in me to see if I could do something other than taking a nap. Finally, after long minutes of just relishing in the afterglow and each other's warmth, she wiggled her way up my body, so her face was just a few centimeters from mine.

“Okay,” she whispered, her eyes glancing from mine to my lips. I didn’t even question what she meant, just raised an eyebrow and she immediately clarified it. “Okay, I will be yours.” All I could do was smile, followed quickly by a kiss that grew deep very quickly. “You’re not gonna let me leave this apartment until you’ve fucked me against every piece of furniture I own, are you?” She asked after pushing me away to catch a breath. A laugh escaped my chest and I pulled her further up my body, so she could straddle my hips.

“You’re absolutely right, my love.”

[echodrops]

I’m obviously late to the tumble party... but I stumbled across your Notagami Essays posts and they are absolutely Fabulous! Love your writing and the amount of detail you go into :)

So I figured you may be a good person to ask - if you just had to guess (bc as far as I know it’s never been officially confirmed?) but if you had to take a guess or give a rough estimate, how old do you think Yato was when he first met Sakura? We know he’s estimated to be at least a thousand years old, we know he’s - from the start of the series to present - estimated to be somewhere between 18 and his early 20s (physically)... but I can’t find a single thing/discussion/post/stickynote/whatever where it talks about how old he might have been when he first met Sakura - let alone the emotional/psychological effects of Sakura coming into his life and introducing healthy mindset/morals/maternal-influence etc. etc. (obviously no mom and Father’s neglect played a big role in him not knowing how inappropriate it was for him to ‘accidentally touch’ and yell “boobs!” but you can also just say he was so young he didn’t know how inappropriate that was?) My point is: how old do you think Yato was (physically anyway) at the time of their meeting? and Do you know of any discussions or care to share your opinion on how being the no more than the age of blank affected his mental/emotional understanding of Sakura teaching him a new narrative?

Sorry this is a random out of the blue ask 😅😓 if I rambled on and you don’t feel like answering, I get it, just figured it was worth asking :)

I fell down a serious rabbit hole trying to see if I could figure out the answer to this question about Yato’s age but unfortunately I’m mostly coming up empty-handed.

The answer to this question actually depends on two different pieces of information which--as far as I can remember--we’ve never actually been given for certain.

1) We would need to know when Yato was actually born.

The manga has kind of hinted at a total (not physical) age for Yato in the flashbacks which showed him as a young child during the Heian era (putting him somewhere in the vicinity of a little over 1000 years old) and Father not making masks before ~1100 years ago, but the problem is we still don’t know how many years might have passed between this scene (the youngest we’ve ever seen Yato):

And the next flashback scene, where Yato meets Nora:

If gods age normally when they are children, these two scenes might be only a handful of years apart. But if gods don’t age normally, then these two scenes could be decades or centuries apart, which leads to the other missing piece of information (under the read more to save people’s dashes):

2) We would need to know the aging process for gods who are just born/reincarnate.

Up to this point in the manga, we’ve only seen two gods reincarnate--Ebisu (who reincarnated too recently to really help answer this question) and Takemikazuchi. The implication of Takemikazuchi’s backstory is that his shinki forced him to reincarnate and then hid his reincarnation from all of Heaven. The only way they could have kept other gods from noticing that Takemikazuchi had reincarnated would have been by not allowing him to go out at all until he had grown enough to match his previous reincarnation in appearance. This seems to suggest that gods probably do age normally when they are children--hiding Takemikazuchi away for ~20 years seems a lot more likely than being able to hide him away for centuries, after all... (I also feel like I have very vague recollection of some scene in the manga where someone comments on Takemikazuchi not having been around for a “few years,” but it’s been so long since I reread I can’t recall if this is a real moment from the manga or just me misremembering.) 

Overall, however, based on what we’ve seen in the manga, my guess would be that when they’re young, after just being born or being reincarnated, gods age pretty normally. This would suggest that, for the first few years at least, the physical and mental ages of reincarnated/newly born gods actually overlap; baby Ebisu acts like a little kid because he is, in fact, both mentally and physically a little kid.

That would mean that, for all intents and purposes, Yato’s physical and mental ages lined up when he was young and meeting Sakura, and he acted like a little kid because he really was just a little kid, god or not.

(Detour for a second though: 

This line always struck me as interesting in that it might, just might, give us a more specific timeframe for Yato’s “birth”: although the constellations, of course, are visible in the sky every single year, this particular combination of concepts (kanoto-tori, yin metal rooster) is known much more commonly as one of the sixty years on the cyclical Chinese calendar, also used in Japan. Counting back on the calendar, 961 A.D. was a yin metal rooster year and would align just about right for what we know about the timeframe in which Yato later met Sakura (~970ish). Just referencing constellations doesn’t mean Adachitoka was pointing to a specific year, but it might have been another hint as to the timeframe of the flashbacks.

Okay, detour over.)

Anyway, without 100% confirmation on either of those pieces of information--when Yato was born and whether gods age at the same rate as humans after reincarnating--I don’t think it’s really possible to pin down Yato’s “real” age (physically or mentally) at the time he met Sakura. We mostly just have to estimate. 

Personally, based on his size and behavior at the time, I’d put him somewhere between seven and maybe up to ten, but the way Adachitoka draws characters kind of makes it impossible to judge their ages by appearance; Yato is about the same size as Nora when he meets Sakura, implying that he and Nora were around the same physical “age” at that time; meanwhile, Nora is later portrayed as being roughly the same age as Yukine, suggesting she was maybe 12-13ish years old when she died. So, despite being drawn tiny, it’s possible Yato was meant to be anywhere from a little kiddo (6-7) to all the way up to Nora’s age by the time he met Sakura.

But all that said, I think what you were really asking about was more the mental state Yato would have been in when he met Sakura and how his young age would have impacted his ability to change his world views, right? The answer to that is... complicated and could be approached a lot of ways. Coming from a background of working with and educating social work students, there are several common psychological theories of child development that might apply here, for example. 

I’d recommend checking out Erik Erikson’s psychosocial stages of development, though. 

(Pulled from here.)

I don’t have time to explain the entire theory with the complexity it might deserve, but the basic idea is that, as children develop, they experience a series of crises or challenges that they must overcome. Successfully overcoming each challenge results in successful psychological and social development; failing to overcome a challenge in childhood will result in long-term negative impacts later in the child’s life. (There are plenty critiques of this theory too, so don’t take this as gospel or anything--just a theory worth thinking about!)  

Given Father’s lack of interest in teaching Yato basic concepts of humanity, I would put Yato at approximately the “Initiative vs. Guilt” stage when he met Sakura. At this level of Erikson’s theory, children struggle with asserting themselves and developing a healthy sense of how their personal desires might conflict with the expectations and rules set out by others. In this stage, giving a child positive feedback for their actions teaches the child that those actions are “right,” while giving negative feedback teaching the child that their actions are wrong. In order to overcome this particular challenge, children need to begin taking initiative and aligning their actions with social standards; the child acts, and the parental figure reacts--through this process, children learn “I can do X thing but I cannot do Y thing.” 

When you hear things like “Children are cruel,” most often what people are referring to is that it takes time for children to learn empathy and to experience guilt when they cause harm to others; children do not natively understand the repercussions of their actions. It’s only through a process of testing the boundaries, of receiving praise or punishment, that children define what is “right” versus “wrong,” and begin to feel bad when they do something deemed wrong.

And this is pretty much word-for-word what we see Sakura teaching Yato.

If they have healthy role models and caretakers during this phase, children develop successfully. Successful children in this phase get their first taste of personal responsibility; unsuccessful children are (supposedly) plagued for years afterward by a sense of guilt and shame when their actions produce disapproval from everyone around them.

Yato... doesn’t exactly make it through this development stage unscathed, because he receives conflicting definitions of right and wrong from his Father an Sakura:

Which ultimately results in, years later, the Yato we know and love who still does his Father’s bidding to kill humans even though it fills him with a horrific sense of guilt:

Through his time with Sakura, I think it could also be argued that Yato moves into the next stage of Erikson’s theory as well, getting into the “Industry versus Inferiority” crises. 

Meeting Sakura brings out Yato’s true, deep down desire as a god: to help people. (I think it’s important to note that this isn’t something Sakura teaches him--it’s a quality Yato already possessed; it was explicitly Yato’s desire to please people that led to him murdering in his father’s name.)

Once he learns what makes people happy, Yato immediately pursues that with intense focus:

The primary goal of this phase of psychosocial development is to experience a sense of confidence in one’s actions. When children practice their skills, pursue areas where they are praised, and gain new skills and aptitudes through mentoring from healthy role models, they gain confidence in their ability to excel, to fit in with peers their age, and to create meaningful things. By encouraging Yato to pursue positive behaviors--playing peacefully with other children, appreciating natural beauty, and creating useful things like boots for the needy--Sakura moved Yato toward successfully completing this phase and developing a sense of confidence in his actions and his ability to achieve positive things in the world. 

Of course, Father cannot have that (because confident children with a sense of self-worth are much more difficult to abuse), so he puts an immediate end to Sakura’s influence over Yato in the most insidious way possible: although he clearly manipulated the situation to achieve Sakura’s death, out loud, he blames Yato, implying that Sakura’s death was all Yato’s fault, the results of Yato taking unwanted action “industry” and yet failing--creating a sense of “inferiority” instead.

This, of course, haunts Yato all the way to the present, as he--again and again and again--blames himself for things outside his control or failing to live up to expectations that no one in his situation (still being manipulated) could possibly hope to get “right.” 

Finally, you could say that Sakura’s presence is Yato’s life is ultimately what sows the seeds of the manga’s main plot up to this point, with Yato’s quest to create an entirely new identity for himself as a god of fortune instead of a god of calamity. Personally, I would say that Yato is currently still in this phase of development, still working out how to define himself and who he will ultimately become once he is finally free to decide on his own path in life. It was Sakura’s gentle influence--his desire to become the kind of god who could make her smile--that eventually sparked his conflict and finally led Yato to the brink of catastrophe. If he wishes to become the god Sakura told him he could be, he can no longer suffer his father to live.

So, long story longer, I think it can be argued that Yato meeting Sakura at such a young age is EXACTLY what made it possible for him to change, and exactly what has led to his crisis in identifying himself and redefining his sense of right and wrong. 

Uhhhh... I hope that answers your question!

[theassthatquits]

Blupjeans Week Day 2 - Ghost

Lup Taaco founded the premier science camp for teens - Camp Rocks! - this side of Faerun almost a decade ago. She did it by herself (mostly) and has the awards, articles, and accolades to prove that it’s a success.

So where does Davenport, her investor, get off going behind her back and hiring someone new without consulting her? Sure, enrollment has plateaued in the last couple of years, the main complaint being that they needed to shake up their staffing and curriculum, but she had it handled. She could take care of it herself, this was just a bump in the road. She didn’t need the help of some fancy doctor, this ‘Dr. Hallwinter’ that Davenport worked with at the university.

Lup scoffed while thumbing through his resume and cover letter. Top of his undergrad at Neverwinter U, a triple major in chemistry, astronomy, and physics. A brief stint working at a funeral home - a little weird, but everyone goes through a quarter life crisis, right? Returning to school a couple years later to get his masters and PhD and now taught at the same university while simultaneously doing interplanar research with Davenport. At the bottom of his resume with “related skills” he put ‘huge nerd’, as if that wasn’t obvious enough.

“Well, at least he knows what he’s talking about,” she muttered to herself as she threw the papers aside. There was no use fighting it now, she had spent weeks arguing and it wasn’t getting her anywhere. And it wasn’t like this was a bad idea, it just wasn’t her idea. This was her camp, after all.

---

Okay, maybe this Dr. Hallwinter guy wasn’t such a bad fit. They got off on the wrong foot, having a couple of heated discussions (fights) about things that she could barely remember. But now, she was standing in the corner of the pavilion, watching him give a very animated lecture on stars and planets. Angus McDonald, one of their first campers and the only one who came every single year, kept raising his hand to ask new questions and Hallwinter loved it. The two of them could go back and forth for hours, talking about theories and experiments and life itself. Angus had signed himself up for all of Dr. Hallwinter’s classes for the summer and loved every minute.

And he wasn’t so bad to look at, she supposed.

Lup was snapped out of her reverie by the class laughing very loudly at some Fortnite reference he made. Without realizing it, she smiled too. Dr. Hallwinter looked up at that moment to see her and his grin grew even bigger. With their eyes locked together, he dabbed and the class lost it all over again. When she giggled at that, she could have sworn he was blushing.

---

Every year towards the end of the summer the staff throws a “spooky soiree” to celebrate the end of camp. Everyone dresses up in a science-themed costume, they use the different things they have learned to create gruesome and cool decorations and effects, and they end the night with a ghost story bonfire. It’s easily Lup’s favorite night of camp. She loves amazing all of the younger kids with the cauldrons of “witches brew” (just dry ice in some punch) and grossing them out with the “eyeballs” (peeled grapes). This year she sewed some LEDs into her black vest, creating stars and constellations. Lup glowed in the dark and she fucking loved it.

She was in the middle of a (spooky) explanation of the witch's brew when she caught sight of Dr. Hallwinter walking up to the party. He was wearing a white shirt with lines drawn across it like a measuring cup and a long red robe over it. She was pretty sure he was wearing a graduation cap, too, which would mean…

“Holy shit you’re a graduated cylinder!” Lup shouted at him from across the way.

Immediately squeals of “language, Miss Lup!” began in front of her and she apologized to them as Dr. Hallwinter walked over with a smile on his face.

“Sure, am! This is pretty much my only Halloween costume, but I do love it.”

“Well, it certainly works for you, Dr. Hallwinter.”

He blushed before saying, “Lup, please just call me Barry. We’ve been having this discussion all summer. The only other person who calls me Dr. Hallwinter is Angus.”

As if to prove his point, Taako swooped in at that moment in a chef’s costume with the letters “FE” written on his shirt and yelled, “Excellent costume, Barold! You look even more like a nerd than usual and that’s saying something.”

Barry laughed. “Thank you, Taako, or should I say Iron Chef?”

Taako bowed deeply. “At your service, sir.”

“Dr. Hallwinter, sir!” They saw smoke before they saw Angus and Lup was a little alarmed before she realized that it was part of his costume. The boy had dressed up like a volcano with fake lava and smoke coming out of the top of it. “Look, it works!”

“All right, buddy!” The pair high fived and a weird fuzzy feeling struck Lup while watching the two of them.

“I think they’re about to start the scary stories over by the bonfire, are you coming, sir?”

“Pshh am I coming? Miss Lup asked me if I could host the festivities. Now you go get a good seat and I’ll be right over to start us off.”

Angus saluted him and ran off, eager for the frights ahead.

“Hosting the ghost stories, that’s a big deal Barold. Lup has hosted the bonfire herself for the last - oh, I don’t know, 2 decades?”

Barry turned to Lup, confused. “Is that true? I don’t want to impose or ruin any traditions.”

She waved him off. “Nah, it’s fine. We got off on the wrong foot, think of it as a peace offering.” Stepping closer to him and putting a hand on his shoulder, her voice got quiet. “You’re a member of this family, Barry.”

It was a good thing it was so dark, otherwise she would have seen his face turn a deep red. “You said my name.”

“Yeah, yeah, go get ready to spook some kids, Bluejeans.”

“Bluejeans?”

“You’ve worn the same blue jeans every single day since you started, even when we do activities by the lake. I’m absolutely convinced that you only packed that one pair for the entire summer.”

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, you’re not entirely wrong.”

“Barold. My dude. You only packed one pair of jeans, no shorts, no swim trunks, for an entire summer at a camp?”

“There might have been a slight mishap on the way here in which I lost my shorts, swim trunks, and half of my underwear.”

No one moved or said anything for a second before Taako finally said, “Barry, you know we go into town once a week to get food for the camp, right?”

Barry just stared into space, regretting all of his life choices that led up to this moment. Lup busted up laughing, harder than anyone had seen her laugh all summer. As she wiped a tear from her eye, she patted his shoulder and said, “Well, I guess you know for next year, right?”

He raised an eyebrow playfully. “Next year, huh?”

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t make any promises until I see how well you do at our bonfire fright fest. Speaking of which, we should definitely be heading over there. I am a little nervous to see how Magnus has been keeping the kids occupied.”

---

Lup stood in the back of the crowd, letting Barry take over the hosting responsibilities of the bonfire. It was one of her favorite parts of camp, but it felt right to let him do it. He was doing really well, enhancing his performance with shadow puppets from the fire and interspersing the scary parts with science puns to ease the nerves of the younger kids. She found it absolutely adorable.

“I think Barold is giving you a run for your money, Lulu.”

“He’s better than I expected, that’s for sure.”

“I’m glad you gave the guy a chance. He’s a good dude.”

She smiled. “He is, isn’t he?”

Taako took a moment, watching his sister watch Barry. “You have the hots for him, don’t you? Jeezy creezy, I should have seen this coming. Those arguments you two had at the beginning were spicy.”

“What?!” Lup said, a little too loudly, face flushing. “I do not have the hots for Dr. Bluejeans. He’s just funny and good with the kids and very smart and looks good in jeans and oh my god I have the hots for Dr. Bluejeans.” Her eyes got wide and she clutched Taako’s arms. “Taako what the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“Lulu, I say this with all the love in my heart: don’t follow your instincts. Right now, your instincts are telling you to let him walk away tomorrow and not say anything, and they are dead wrong.”

“Ughhh but what if he doesn’t feel the same? It ruins the professional relationship we have and then I have to ban him from the camp and then Angus will hate me and we will lose our best customer.”

“Something tells me he also feels the same way.”

“But how do you know that?”

30 minutes earlier

Lup went ahead before the boys to make sure that Magnus hadn’t started a revolution of sorts and that left Barry and Taako to quickly clean up the food before following. Barry’s eyes lingered a little too long on Lup as she was walking away.

“Barold. Are you checking out my sister?”

“What?! No, what makes you think that?”

“I rolled a Nat 20 on perception, Barold. Legally you cannot lie to me. Now tell me: do you have the hots for my sister?”

Barry covered his face with his hands. “Maybe? Yes. Absolutely. Completely. As soon as she called me a poorly-dressed poser on my first day I was done for.”

“Rad. You should do something about that.” Taako started walking towards the bonfire, witch’s brew in hand.

“What, like tell her?”

“Tell her, kiss her, fight her, just something so I get to stop looking at you two making eyes at one another,” Taako yelled back without stopping.

“What - we don’t make eyes at one another, that’s not…she makes eyes at me?”

“Yeah, I think you’re good, my dude.”

The kids started clapping, signaling the end of the story that Magnus was telling.

“All right, thank you Magnus. Very scary, that story about zombie dogs. I think next up we have everyone’s favorite camp director, Miss Lup!”

The kids cheered and Lup had to pull herself together to nail this story that she was definitely going to pull out of her ass because she most certainly hadn't prepared anything.

“Are you kids ready to get the pants scared off of you?”

They screamed enthusiastically.

“All right, this story is about our very own Lake Igneous here at Camp Rocks. Legend has it that there was a woman who used to live in these woods by herself, not letting anyone else get near her. She refused help from anyone that came by, wanting to do everything alone and remain independent. The campers nearby could hear her blowing shit up in the woods and they knew to steer clear. One day, a man stumbled into her home, lost and confused. She lit off several explosions in an attempt to scare him off but he didn’t want to leave.”

As she talked, her eyes found Barry’s.

“He saw how lonely she was and helped her blow shit up. Eventually she grew to really like the man and really enjoyed blowing things up with him.” Barry laughed at that. Lup, suddenly remembering that this was supposed to be a scary story, abruptly tore her eyes away from his.

“They thought it would be a good idea to light some fireworks on the lake, so they took a boat out to the center and created the biggest and most beautiful explosion known to man, taking both of them out. They sacrificed their lives for the dopest light show, and sometimes, on a very clear and quiet night, you can see them in the lake, hand in hand.”

Lup bowed to signal that the story was over and she took her place back next to Taako.

“Lup, that was...pretty rough, not going to lie. Not your best work, that’s for sure.”

“I just got so distracted looking at his dumb face.”

“Yeah, that whole story was glaringly obvious.” She glared at him.

“I just need to get through this night without further making an ass of myself.”

He snorted. “Good luck.”

--

After the bonfire had wrapped up and all the kids were sent to bed, Lup sat at her favorite spot down by the lake to stare at the stars. She always sat here on the final night, reminiscing over the summer.

“Mind if I join you?” Barry’s voice came out of nowhere, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t expect it. Lup didn’t respond, just patted on the ground next to her. “So, your story was -”

“It’s okay, you can say it was shit, because it was. I definitely did not prepare this year like I usually do.”

“-good. I really liked it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Especially the part where they die a fiery but beautiful death.”

She snorted and he took the opportunity to move closer to her, their shoulders touching.

“Thank you for letting me join the team this summer.”

“I would say you’re welcome, but I honestly didn’t have much choice in the matter.”

“I know. Thank you for giving me a shot.”

“Again, not much choice in the matter.” He laughed. “You turned out alright. Better than I was expecting.”

“High praise from Miss Camp Director.”

“Would you be interested in coming back next year?”

“Absolutely. Pretty sure Angus would boycott if I didn’t show up.”

“He would just show up on your doorstep. Expect a lot of emails this year. So I’ll see you next summer, then?” He hesitated. “Unless you already have other commitments, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“Lup, I’ll definitely be here next summer. I was just hoping that maybe we could see each other a little sooner than that. Like maybe this Saturday, dinner?”

She smirked. “A little forward, aren’t we, Dr. Bluejeans?” His face dropped.

“Oh, God. Did I totally misread this situation? Fuck, I am so sorry, I am going to just walk into this lake and never come back -” Barry started to get up, mortified.

“Barry, stop.” He looked at her, eyes wide in embarrassment. She shifted so her face was directly in front of his. “You didn’t misread this situation.” And then she kissed him.

@blupjeansweek2021

[hela-avenger]

poison & wine- part 32

Author: hela-avenger

Word Count: 1482

Summary: Prince Loki of Asgard is in need of a date to take back home. That’s where you come in with a task of your own to make the whole trip with an insufferable prince worth it. Too bad that things don’t always go as planned and you end up giving more than you can take. Fake-Dating AU.

A/N: Thanks for your comments, everyone! The last update certainly brought the drama and I know I broke some hearts but it will be resolved! I promise! Only three parts left! With some bonus scenes too! 

poison & wine masterlist

Loki had told you to leave. In fact, he yelled at you to leave. As if you had been a hindrance to him and perhaps you are for having convinced him to continue with the lie to this exact point. 

You’re stupid. 

Incredibly stupid to have thought that this could ever work. 

Loki did not love you. Maybe he cared, but he did not love you. You mistook his friendliness for love and now you were suffering the consequences.

You’re humiliated and worst of all you’re alone in a random hallway of the palace far away from the home that you know and love. A home that hadn’t made you suffer like your time spent in Asgard. 

Yes, you’re a half-breed, a demi-god, a girl split between two realms.

You’re also an orphan. A traveler with no sense of direction. A flower with no roots. 

Most importantly, you’re a heartbroken fool who thought that a royal prince could ever find you worthy of his love. 

You didn’t know where to go. You don’t know where you were meant to go. You were too focused on trying to keep the tears at bay to formulate a plan at the moment. All you desired at the moment was to leave this realm once and for all and forget everything that’s happened here.  

So why not? Why not leave the realm once and for all? It was what Loki desired just a day ago and for good reason. He had tried to spare you the heartbreak and you had still asked for it. 

You pick up your silk skirt once again and start to run. 

You somehow manage to find yourself back at the royal stables but any luck you had, which was not much to begin with in the first place, is all gone as the Lady Sif looks up at you in clear surprise.

“What are you doing here?” you ask. “Shouldn’t you be at the celebration like everyone else?”  

“Someone has to keep guard,” she answers before glancing at your gown. “What’s your excuse? Isn’t it for your honor?”

You don’t know how to respond. You may be upset but you weren’t ready to let all your feelings out to the first person you found. Especially to someone who showed her clear distaste to the man you loved. 

“I had to get out of there,” you answer. “I just… It’s not what it turned out to be.” 

“So you came to the stables?” she asks, confused. 

Your impromptu plan was falling apart all because of a nosy knight. 

“Look, I just came for a ride so if you don’t mind…” 

You try to move past her but she’s quick to catch your arm. 

“You’re very upset,” she notes. “What did Loki do?” 

“Why do you think he had something to do with this?” 

“Because I know him.” 

“Well, it’s clear that you don’t,” you argue. “He… He did nothing. This was all me.” 

You let out a sigh knowing you wouldn’t get anywhere without revealing the truth. 

“I fell in love with him, and he didn’t,” you confess. “My heartbreak is my own to blame.” 

Surprisingly, Sif relents and lets you go. 

“I understand,” she whispers. “The princes have a certain allure, don’t they?” 

It takes you a second to realize who she’s referring to.

“Oh,” you answer. “You and…” 

“Yes, and we don’t have to speak about it,” Sif remarks sharply before softening. “I’m sure you don’t.” 

“I don’t,” you agree. “But I love him and he doesn’t which is why I can’t be here anymore. I have to get out of here.” 

“So where do you wish to go?” Sif asks as she pulls her horse out of the stable. “I’ll take you.” 

“The Bifrost,” you state ignoring her obvious surprise. “I wish to go home.” 

The moment you left the royal hall, Loki turned to his enraged father. He did not dare to offer an explanation until you were far enough away from the scene. Loki hated himself for having to raise his voice at you but it was better than the alternative. You didn’t deserve to be caught in the aftermath of his lie. You didn’t deserve to be hated by Asgard and incur Odin’s wrath because of him. 

“Tell the musicians to start,” Loki orders the nearby servant as he hands the case holding the apple for him to take. “And keep the guests away from the throne room.” 

With that order done, Loki turns to his silent and angry Odin. 

“My father and I wish to discuss in private.” 

Odin refrains from snapping at him as Frigga comes into his vision. Just a gentle touch from his wife seems to bring him back from the brink of disaster and allows for Odin to be led into the nearby throne room without uttering a word.

“Now, son,” Frigga begins calmly. “Please explain to us why you’ve caused such disruption on a day like this?”

Loki looked between his mother and Odin unsure of how to speak the truth he had evaded and ignored for so long. 

“I lied,” Loki states simply. “I’ve been lying to you this whole time. The courtship and now this engagement…” 

Loki pauses and looks at Odin with a sigh. 

“You were right,” he whispers. “I made a deal with her to fake a courtship with me and she accepted.”

He can’t help but laugh now, bitterly. It drove him mad trying to figure out when things had suddenly gone wrong. At what moment were fake emotions became real and true. 

“And now… Now, things have become such a mess,” Loki exhales as his dark humor fades away. “Such a mess and I have no idea how to fix it because I love her. I love her with my entire being and she doesn’t even know. She doesn’t know that I would follow her till the end of the universe if it meant I could be by her side always.” 

Loki turns away from them, his hands shaking, and he doesn’t know why he's confessed more than he had to. 

“I love her,” Loki whispers. “And because I love her, I couldn’t force her to take a bite from the Apple of Idunn. She already detests time for having taken her away from her family, a home, and… love. How could I let her take a bite of that apple when it is the last thing she wishes for herself?”

“It was not your decision to make…” 

Loki is surprised by this calm response from Odin prompting him to turn around to finally face him. His father’s wrath was gone, replaced by gentle understanding. As if the patient wisdom that Odin’s always described with finally made itself known in Loki’s presence. 

“The gift I offered was for the Lady Y/N,” Odin continues. “She should have been the one to accept or reject it, not you.” 

Loki opens his mouth to argue but Odin raises his hand to stop him before he could even utter a word. 

“No, no, it’s time for you to listen to me now,” Odin interrupts him. “I’ve known all along the game you were playing, Loki. The timing of it all was too convenient to be true, but the lies and stories you wove to explain it all were convincing. They were convincing because in brief moments of clarity you two were speaking the utmost truth about the way you perceived and felt for each other.” 

Odin glances over to Frigga who offers him a small smile. 

“When I spoke to Lady Y/N after the incident of your tournament match, a tactic I hoped to unveil the trickery you were pulling, she met me strong and unafraid. She further revealed the loyalty and trust she held for you as she defended you quite strongly.” 

“I already know this,” Loki tells him. 

“I know you do, but what you don’t know is what she told me afterward.” 

Loki waits for Odin to tell him but the Allfather remains silent. 

“What? What did she tell you?” 

“That, my son, is something you will have to hear from her,” Odin answers with a hidden smile. “I have spoken more than enough on her behalf. I believe it is time you have an audience with her. Tell her how you feel and allow her to do the same.” 

Loki doesn’t trust Odin’s genuineness in the situation but a glance to his mother reveals that he should as Frigga nods for him to go. 

“We will make excuses for you and Y/N’s absence in the hall,” Frigga tells him. “Go after her!” 

Loki doesn’t need to be told twice as he quickly runs out of the throne room in search of you. There were many places you could be hiding in, but Loki doesn’t get the chance to look at any of them as a flashing of lights on the horizon catches his attention. 

The Bifrost. 

You were already gone.

poison & wine tag: @damalseer @just-the-hiddles @jessiejunebug @nonsensicalobsessions @smollest-soybean @assassinoftheworld @readerbandit @doyoufeelikeayounggod @strangemcuvlogs @ha-tep @i-dont-know-eiither @gene-king @day-dreaming-fox @bn-studies @is-it-madness @devilbat @victor-criss-bish @skinny-macncheese @musicconversedance @baby-bunnyxn @fandoms-allovertheplace @marvelloonie @jinxjinxednova @queenmuahaha @accio-boys @eternalqueensworld @umlvk @roger-the-reindeer @punkrockhufflefluff @your-local-abyss @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals​ @rogerrhqpsody @imsad420 @pandacookieowo @justnerdystuffs @hanoi15​ @oneprolificqueen​ @nikki-who-likes-coffee​ @fandomrelative​ @nikki419ninja​ @onedollarduck​ @help-i-need-a-social-life​​ @ephemeraljade​ @catsladen @amwolowicz​ @captainmarvelnerd​ @thegirlbeyondtheuniverse​

Loki Tag: @unicorniorosacomefrutillas @thesilentbluesparrow @oddly-drawn-muse @josiehosiedaninja @hp-hogwartsexpress @sadwaywardkid @wolf-lover74 @sizzlingbarbarianglitter @sigyn-njorddottir @aoirohi​ @defunctcherrybomb​

All Works Tag: @jmb959 @astudyoftimeywimeystuff @hellocookiecutter @steve-rogers-personal-hell @buckybarnesyard @not-zari-tak @strangersstranger @thefridgeismybestie​ @moonlightprime

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in September

I skipped a month again. But not to worry. This is a wrap-up of all the movies I watched in the month of September (2021). I think I maintained a steady ratio throughout but perhaps there’s not as much on the list this time because I wanted to get on with other things, be that work-wise or just trying to get out to the beach as much as possible and make the most of the last dregs of summertime. I went swimming in the sea a lot! But I also got to catch the new James Wan movie, Malignant (twice!) as well as the new James Bond, No Time To Die. Not to mention a couple of classics! My hope again with this list is to introduce people to new movies that they may otherwise not have seen or perhaps have never have heard of. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie. I’m thinking maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. So here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 30th of September.

Fanny and Alexander (1982) - 8/10

Coming from Ingmar Bergman, I was surprised to see just how warm this was. I’m a big fan of the Swedish director and while this isn’t my favourite from him (perhaps due to it needing a second watch, or the fact I watched it in three chunks because it’s about three hours long and I overestimated how much time I had in the day) it’s still an interesting departure from what I’ve come to expect from him. Fanny and Alexander is a dreamy Christmassy movie that presents an overarching theme of love, spending a large portion of its runtime just hanging out with this big family on Christmas and showing how close they are. I would love to watch this again at some point in December and see how my opinion shifts but for now, while it could meandre in places, I can’t deny how unique a movie it is.

Another Round (2021) - 10/10

I had seen Thomas Vinterberg’s latest film before this point but this was the first time I got to see it in a cinema. Luckily for me my local independent cinema was showing it one night and while they had a few technical hiccups with setting everything up, the movie itself was still fantastic. Following a handful of school teachers who experiment with whether they can maintain a certain level of blood alcohol throughout the day, Another Round demonstrates a sense of unease and sadness throughout an otherwise comedic tone. These emotions are balanced perfectly, boosting an already intriguing concept that examines our relationship with alcohol from every angle.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) - 4/10

Straight after Another Round, I made my way to the chain cinema to meet up with friends to see the new Marvel movie. At this point, having had my second dose of the Covid vaccine that morning, I was starting to feel the effects and I was not doing well. But I watched the movie anyway, all the while wanting to be in bed. Shang-Chi was massively underwhelming and I’d go as far as to say it was even incompetent. Truth be told,  I like the Marvel Cinematic Universe but from the get-go I already wasn’t hyped for this movie and I was expecting it to be about mediocre but what I got was something a lot worse. I won’t rehash what I’ve already said on this film so if you want to hear me rant about it a bit then I would recommend checking out episode 47 of my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon.

Your Name. (2016) - 6/10

Ultimately this was a fun little romance movie but I can’t say I understand why people adore it, nor do I understand why it needed to be animated. For what it’s worth, I found it cute and entertaining but nothing much jumped out to me.

Phil Wang: Philly Philly Wang Wang (2021) - 7/10

I’m always stumped on what to say about stand-up shows. It was good! I enjoyed Phil Wang talking about different things in a funny way and it got some laughs out of me. Admittedly I’m writing this a couple of weeks after watching it but it’s certainly a decent way to spend an hour if you’re looking for something light and fun.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017) - 6/10

I remember seeing this in the cinema with two of my friends and the theatre wasn’t exactly packed but those that were there were either children or parents. But I like The Lego Batman Movie! Clearly this was made by fans of the character as it’s packed with a lot of details and references from old comic runs but as someone who has never read the comics or seen those older movies, it still managed to be entertaining and while I won’t say it’s quite as good as The Lego Movie, the animation is still top notch and the voice actors are certainly giving it their all, especially Will Arnett as the titular character. It’s just a bit of fun!

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) - 10/10

A friend of mine told me to go to the screening of Terminator 2 at my local because they themselves weren’t able to attend. The first Terminator movie is a real gem and one of the most 80’s-type movies I’ve ever seen. I was excited to watch T2, remembering next to nothing about what I watched of it when I was a child. So it was just me in this screening, with one person in a row in front of me, and one other person behind me. If I had it my way, I would have been the only person there because this is honestly one of the best movies I’ve ever seen and it was very hard not to yell out every time something incredible happened, especially when it’s so action-packed and basically goes all out at every opportunity to deliver some of the most jaw-dropping effects or choreography. Truly there is never a dull moment and I was grinning like a lunatic the entire time. This film rocks!

Mirror (1975) - 7/10

Andrei Tarkovsky is one of my favourite directors and the new Criterion release of his film, Mirror, had been on my shelf for a while. My friend and fellow podcast co-host, Chris, was also interested in watching this movie so we decided we’d give it a watch and review it on the podcast. But this is such a weirdly structured film that the entire way through, neither of us knew what on earth was happening. What we got from the experience is reflected in the episode we made and I would love to watch this again at some point, hopefully with more context and a better understanding of what I’m in for. But in the meantime, you can hear the discussion on episode 46 of the podcast.

The Night House (2021) - 6/10

The Night House is David Bruckner’s follow-up to his previous movie, The Ritual and while I’ll say I prefer The Ritual, this is still a decent watch, just don’t go in expecting horror. More of my thoughts can be found in episode 46 of the podcast.

The Ritual (2017) - 7/10

After watching The Night House, I decided to go back to the director’s previous film, The Ritual and I got a lot more out of it this time around. Themes of guilt and grief permeate the movie and the result is this weird and unnerving film about a group of guys who go hiking in Sweden after the death of one of their friends and encounter dark forces beyond their comprehension. It can be drawn out at times and probably could have been boosted with a better script but there are so many interesting and strange ideas presented that culminate in a haunting third act that it’s worth watching just to see what on earth they’re being hunted by.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - 10/10

Straight after recording an episode about our favourite movies on the podcast, I returned to one of my all-time favourites. Holy Grail is such a fantastically funny movie with so many memorable lines and moments that it’s become a staple in the comedy genre. Setting it in Arthurian England is a surefire way to make sure it stands the test of time, making use of the budget in a way that heightens the comedy, for example: not being able to get horses and so resorting to having a man banging two coconut halves together as they skip through the grassy terrain. It’s the writing that really takes centre stage here; the guys from Monty Python were/are geniuses. A couple more points were made on my podcast so please do listen to that to hear more: Episode 46 of The Sunday Movie Marathon

Malignant (2021) - 7/10

The new James Wan movie was bonkers! I saw this one twice in quick succession without hesitation. To find out why I love it so much, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - 8/10

We got a marathon of the first three Nightmare on Elm Street movies on the podcast so we watched them in quick succession within a day. This first movie is a true masterpiece of its time. For more insight, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) - 2/10

Quite an embarrassing departure from the genius and fun of the original. Elm Street 2 is not only technically unfulfilling but a wholly unentertaining movie to boot. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) - 3/10

While only a few hairs better than its predecessor, Elm Street 3 is still a mere shadow of the original. All in all, these second and third instalments in the franchise have put me off watching any of the others. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

Her (2013) - 10/10

Her is at once a beautiful love story between a man and an AI, and a scarily accurate look at how technology is expanding and moving forward. It uses warm colours and smooth camera work to create something that feels homely and safe, juxtaposing the often cold and dark feeling of science-fiction films to tell an intrinsically human story. What would it be like to go through this and what are the hurdles that need to be overcome? Her is a masterpiece of filmmaking and it left me emotionally exhausted in all the right ways.

Alien (1979) - 10/10

First time I’ve seen Alien in the cinema (as I was too busy not being born yet to see it on an initial release) and it was amazing! This is cosmic horror at its best. With all the eerie sound design, slow and deliberate camera movement, and outstanding effects, there’s no wonder as to why this is considered one of the greats and seeing it on the big screen was enthralling.

Aliens (1986) - 8/10

I had never seen Aliens before so the opportunity to see it for the first time in a cinema was one I could not pass up, especially since I was able to see it straight after the first. This is more of an action movie than the first one and as that, it was really something to see. While I don’t think it quite measures up to the original, James Cameron does bring a style to it that makes it something completely different while still feeling in line with its predecessor. A problem I’ve found as time goes on is that I don’t find myself thinking much about Aliens whatsoever and that’s probably down to its characters who generally I found quite weak. I’m already not big on standard action flicks and this is a clear cut above those but it does still fall victim to the trappings. That being said, I would in no way call this bad or even mediocre because it was a lot fun and being able to see it in the cinema is an experience I’m very grateful for.

Gunpowder Milkshake (2021) - 6/10

Gunpowder Milkshake is trying very hard to be John Wick and although it never really manages it, there is still fun to be had with its action (because really that’s all this movie has to offer). There’s a very creative scene in which Karen Gillan has to fight some goons in a hospital with a gun taped to one hand and a scalpel taped to the other, with the caveat being that her arms don’t work. Despite that and a good enough performance from Gillan, the rest is very goofy, with a villain about as intriguing as an advert for life insurance and a story that to say the least, leaves much to be desired.

I Lost My Body (2019) - 10/10

Another one for the podcast, I Lost My Body is a glorious cerebral animated piece that hits every nerve in my body. Listen to episode 48 for more.

Alice In Wonderland (1951) - 10/10

Perhaps the best early Disney movie in my humble opinion. Alice In Wonderland is complete insanity, doing things simply for the sake of it in a beguiling dreamlike take on Lewis Carroll’s classic book. Listen to episode 48 of The Sunday Movie Marathon for more.

WALL-E (2008) - 9/10

WALL-E is one of Pixar’s best. It is a cautionary tale of where the world is headed wrapped in a sweet story about going to the ends of the solar system in order to help those you love. I do however have one big problem with this movie and you can find out more in episode 48 of the podcast.

Killing Them Softly (2012) - 6/10

A lot about America’s economy at the time, Killing Them Softly goes about showing the lengths people will go to for money and yes it is generally solid with a fantastic speech by Brad Pitt to cap it off, but it cannot avoid meandering scenes of listless dialogue that neither engage me nor make me care about the characters it presents.

The Dirties (2013) - 6/10

Funny! The Dirties is a mockumentary about two guys making a movie about bullies in their school. While often it was generally chugging along and making me laugh, it tended to err on the side of plain as regards its presentation. A lot of scenes happen for the sake of it and in a movie that’s around an hour and twenty, it’s amazing I still managed to dip out in the latter half. More thoughts in episode 49 of the podcast.

Telstar: The Joe Meek Story (2009) - 3/10

Ah, I really hated this. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. Just listen to episode 49 of the podcast to hear what I had to say.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017) - 10/10

This is my favourite movie! I got to talk about it on my podcast! Listen to episode 49 of The Sunday Movie Marathon to hear what I have to say!

No Time To Die (2021) - 8/10

Best Bond movie? Perhaps. I’ve not seen every Bond movie but of the ones I have seen (which does include all of Daniel Craig’s run), this is as good as it gets. Despite a near three hour runtime, No Time To Die felt as though it wasted very little. I’ve always complained that I could never follow the plot to these movies because often I simply didn’t care about it; for me it’s more about the action and seeing Daniel Craig be James Bond. No Time To Die does not escape some of the general tropes that often don’t leave me thinking I’ve watched something masterful but what I will say in its favour is that it’s fucking fun! Don’t expect to love it if you already dislike these movies because generally it stays in the same vein as the others before it, but for Bond fans it’s something totally enjoyable. Captivating cinematography, biting fight choreography and action set-pieces, a core struggle for James who actually goes through relatable hardships his time round, coping with being part of a family and trying to keep them safe.

I was happy to see a bit more attention paid to female characters this go round; in a franchise that often glamorizes Bond’s sexual promiscuity and ability to woo any woman he likes, it was much more refreshing to see that he often did need help from a lot of badass, well written female characters.

No Time To Die has been waiting to be released for a long time now and now it’s actually out, I’m pleased it’s not hot garbage. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The final swan song for Craig’s fifteen-year tenure as one of cinema’s most recognisable heroes outdoes all that came before it. Bravo.

[toloveawarlord]

The Little Vampire (Ch. 2)

You can find my masterlist in my bio!

Characters: Nell, Levi, & Satan

Tagging: @plumpblueberry​ @starry-starry-night24​ @gay-noodle-clan​

A/N: Day 3 of the 12 Days of OCmas! He is already so attached to his little vampire. Who should she meet next? 

Being summoned had turned into a complicated, scheduled event. Levi began to enjoy his trips to visit the girl, bringing her snacks and playing board games. She intently listened to his ramblings about Ruri-chan without judgement or teasing. He honestly had more fun with her than anyone else.

He looked forward to visiting, despite being confined to an empty bedroom.

Except today was different.

It was late, but he was up watching a new anime that was finally available in the Devildom when he was tugged through the void and into the human world. They weren’t scheduled to meet again until the end of the week. “Nell? What’s this abo-” His words trailing off.

The room was empty, and the circle at his feet poorly drawn as if done in a hurry. He’d never come without her being here, and never had the door been left open. The demon wasn’t sure that she left the room at all. Nell never told him about her life here, only asking that he keep her company and play games with her.

“L-Levi!” A shout from somewhere else in the house. Her voice shrill and desperate, hoarse like she’d been yelling for hours.

The layout of the house unknown to him, but the stench of humans drew him down the staircase. There were more than he’d expected, and all quite surprised at his sudden presence. As for Levi, his mouth gaped at the scene before him.

“Levi! Help me!” Nell cried out from where she was held down on the coffee table, a human on either side of her writhing body. A makeshift beheading block. She managed to get an arm out, helplessly reaching towards him.

The large human with the axe stuck his foot against her head, his boot cutting into her pale skin and drawing blood. “Stop squalling, you monster.” His hate-filled eyes turned to Levi. “This doesn’t concern demons so move along!”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Levi spat out, demonic power erupting from his body. His transformation enough to send fear rattling through the pathetic human’s fragile forms. Golden irises were overflowing with absolute rage. His voice inhumanly deep and commanding. “That little vampire belongs to me.”

Although the leader tried to be strong, his limbs betrayed him, trembling like leaves in the presence of someone so powerful. “What does a demon want with a-” No words could form with his back against the wall, gaze unable to look away from the demon towering above him. The man completely paralyzed.

Levi’s head tilted to the side, assessing his prey with muted interest. Humans were so weak, and yet they pretended to be at the top of the food chain. “It won’t matter to you. You hurt someone important to me.” His tail slithered up to the man’s throat, wrapping gingerly around it....

With one squeeze, his head popped off, splatting against the floor.

The others scattered but none were able to escape. Angering a demon, even one without his strength was a death sentence. No one did so and lived to talk about it.

“Nell?” Levi regained control of himself, scratching his bloodstained cheek awkwardly. He found the vampire quivering in the corner of the room, violet eyes sweeping over the mess. A wave of guilt flooded over him. He must have frightened her so much with his anger.

He glanced around, finding her stuffed dinosaur under the coffee table, likely from when she’d dropped when they were throwing her around. He knelt down in front of her, reaching out and offering the stuffed animal to her. “I’m sorry- oof-”

The girl threw herself into his arms, the force knocking him over. Her cheek rubbed against his chest as she sniffled but smiled. “I knew you’d save me!” A mixture of emotions bubbled over. Nell was crying out of happiness and relief. “If you hadn’t come... they’d of--they’d of- hic.” The fear of almost dying turned into a sobbing mess. She tried to wipe them away with the backs of her hands.

Levi patted his hand against the top of her head. “It’s alright. You don’t have to worry about them anymore.” Mostly because he’d killed them, but he had another reason. He produced a golden band from his pocket. “Check this out. I had my brother help me get it. It’ll let you come back to the Devildom with me. It’s like a super rare item!”

At first it was too big to fit around her dainty wrist, but it shrunk in size once it touched her skin. “Woah. You’re giving me a rare item? Like...” Her brows furrowed as she dug through her memory. “Like the Silver Lion sword in that dungeon game we played?”

“Yeah! Just like that! And it’s all yours! I mean... if you want to come with me.”

Her small arms locked around his neck. “Yes! I wanna go now. Can we go now? Before the others come and lock me up again.”

More humans? Levi cast a glance around at the carnage. He didn’t have the energy to face any more of them. Better to abandon this game than continue to fight. He’d gotten his prize anyways.

Nell nearly fell when they were transported back to his bedroom. She spun on the ball of her foot, throwing her hands up. “That was so cool! It was like poof and we were here!” Her spinning only stopped when she got dizzy, teetering around as she laughed.

Levi collapsed into his gaming chair, all his energy drained. Traveling between the two realms was a big enough strain, but also using so much demonic power only made the demon exhausted. With his elbow propped up on the arm, he rested his chin on his palm.

“Is this where you sleep?” Nell pushed her hands against the edge of the tub to see it better but slipped and fell headfirst into the pile of pillows. Her legs kicked in the air before she flipped upright.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Levi asked, nervously turning his gaze to find Henry in the large aquarium. Only normies slept in beds. His tub was the perfect size, and he could cuddle his Ruri-chan body pillow without any issues.

The girl hummed, brushed her white hair out of her face. “No, it makes sense.” She grinned at his surprised expression. “Besides, it’s comfy. Can I sleep here, too? I’m really tiny so we can both fit.”

“S-sure.” He hadn’t thought this far ahead. The situation had turned out to be more dire than he’d realized, but even without it, the demon didn’t have anything in place for her once they’d arrived here. Levi racked his brain for his next move while the girl continually dove into the pillows and then popped up on the other side of the tub and repeated.

The only thing he did know was that Lucifer couldn’t find out she was here.

“I see the item worked for you.”

Nell slipped back under the pillows, peeking out between them to spy on the new demon in the room. His green eyes flickered to where she hid but quickly moved to Levi. Which one was he? She’d heard about all of them.

“Although, I’m not sure that keeping a human as a pet is a good idea.”

“I’m not a human!” The girl sprung up, haphazardly knocking the pillows out of the tub and onto the floor. Her index fingers tapped against her two large canines. “I’m a vampire. See? Fangs!”

Levi rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do next, but think you can keep her a secret? If Lucifer finds out, he’ll punish me for sure.” His shoulders dropped in dejection. And who knows what he’d do to Nell. “Nell, this is my brother Satan.”

“Oh, the one that likes books and is a cat.”

“A cat?” Satan blinked at her in confusion. He wasn’t not like a cat, although he didn’t think that would be a bad thing. She certainly didn’t say it as a negative, so it was possible that it was meant as a compliment.

The vampire climbed out of the tub and approached the fourth born brother who was deep in serious thought. Her hand tugged on his sleeve, violet eyes that of puppy’s. “Please don’t tell the bossy one I’m here. I want to stay with Levi.” Her gaze fell away, distracted by the mountain of games and toys around her. “If I have to go back, the humans will kill me.”

Satan chuckled at her reference to the eldest as the bossy one. “Your secret is safe with me.” He ruffled her hair and smiled softly. She was quite cute, and it would be entertaining to see how long Levi could keep her hidden.

“Nell, no!” Levi chastised. His tail wrapped around her waist, hauling the girl away from his brother. Her fangs grazed against Satan’s wrist but didn’t actually sink in. He held her in the air, sighing. “You can’t bite him. Actually, you can’t bite anyone. No biting.”

Her index fingers poked together as she gave Satan a sheepish expression. “I’m sorry.”

“Levi, you do know you have to feed her, right? Vampires survive on blood, and if she’s willing to bite a demon, then she must be starving,” Satan said, observing the two with curiosity. He’d never seen Levi so invested in something 3-D.

“I know. I’ll figure something out.” He set her down but didn’t release his tail’s grip. Procuring human blood in the Devildom would be difficult. And if he bought it online in bulk, Lucifer was sure to notice. Levi gritted his teeth and rolled up his sleeve. “For now, you can drink from me. Just be quick.” His head turned away, not wanting to see his own blood.

Nell stared at his bare skin, tongue gliding across her teeth. She hadn’t properly drunk in a while, and it was oh so tempting. “Are you sure? I can control myself... maybe.” She would do her best to abstain.

“Yes. I’m sure. It’ll be like in that one episode where Ruri-chan’s best friend was turned into a vampire and needed blood so Ruri-chan sacrificed herself for them to not suffer! A true inspiration!”

Her soft giggle drew his attention back to her. “You’re so funny, Levi. I bet Ruri-chan would be super proud of you.”

Tears welled in his eyes. If that were true, he could die a happy demon. “Alright, let’s do this! Ahh- ouch!” Levi whined as her fangs pierced his skin. It was nothing at all in Ruri-chan! It stung and burned. He clenched his fist and bit his lip. He would not back down.

But damn did it hurt!

Nell drank enough to feel full and then collapsed forward onto his lap with a happy sigh. “You have nice blood,” she whispered, eyelids too heavy to stay open. With a full tummy and the adrenaline of the day wearing off, the little vampire fell promptly asleep.

“I’ll do some research on where you can purchase blood. In the meantime, be sure to keep her in here where none of the others will find her,” Satan said. Once Mammon or Asmo got a hold of a secret, the entire house would know about it in a matter of minutes.

“Thanks, Satan. I owe you,” Levi said, reaching a hesitant head out to pet her white hair. She was kind of like a pet, like Henry, but more hands on. He lifted her up and climbed into his tub with her. She’d been right, they both could fit in here comfortably. For the first night ever, he didn’t need his Ruri-chan pillow.

But keeping her a secret would turn out to be much harder than he’d imagined.

[edorazzi]

It’s the post everyone’s been waiting for! 

It’s taken a little while for me to get around to this, but it’s worth it for being able to make a full reaction post. This is really long so I’ll put it under a cut, but check it out for my complete scene-by-scene reaction of Miraculous’ “Felix” episode! (´∀｀)♡

Okay, I’ve been putting this off for days now so it’s time to finally get to it. I’m comfy and undisturbed and have my supplies ready to go.

I know next to nothing about what I’m going into. I’ve seen a little bit here and there because some people haven’t tagged their content properly, but I haven’t watched either of the trailers. I haven’t even looked directly at the images of Felix which have been going around. I’ve tried to stay as blind as possible, so as a result I’m pretty excited but also very anxious. I’ve taken two beta blockers today and I’m considering taking a third.

I usually liveblog episodes on our Ladybug PV Discord server (message me for an invite!) but this time I’m making a proper post out of it. I’ll be typing up my reactions as I go then cleaning everything up a little bit afterwards. I think it’s the first time I’ve done something like this on my blog so here goes!

- “Script: Thomas Astruc” NO. HE REALLY COULDN’T JUST STEP AWAY FROM THIS EPISODE GRACEFULLY, COULD HE. HE HAD TO GET HIS HANDS DIRTY. I’m not going to say “fuck this man” but, you know, identical sentiments. I’m opening my chocolate bar.

- God, Emilie looks more like ET every time I see her. Such an awkward model.

- Oh but wait, Sébastien Thibaudeau was on the script? That does actually give me some hope! Next to Zag himself he’s the only writer on this mess of a show I trust. HE FIXED WAYHEM, CAN HE DO FELIX A SOLID TOO? PLEASE. PLEASE SÉBASTIEN OL BUDDY OL PAL OL FRIENDA MINE

- Does Gabe have anything else to say to his wife other than monologuing his Miraculous plan over and over? They say people in comas can still hear things but Emilie’s probably double unconscious from how boring her husband is.

- DON’T LIKE THAT KNIFE SOUND EFFECT FROM THOSE RINGS. Am I supposed to find it sweet that Gabe’s taking such good care of their wedding bands or is he about to use them for evil? Also where’s Felix.

- ADRIEN SWEETHEART. I maintain that it’s weird to have a statue of your wife/mother/self in your own garden but it kills me that he’s just sitting there in front of it like a lost kitten.

- “Of course, someone will get you right away.” IS THAT FELIX. WAS SHE ON THE PHONE TO FELIX. WHERE’S MY SON, NATHALIE HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON

- That wide-eyed look Adrien turns up towards the window is killing me even more. I’M SO SAD. I see he also hasn’t noticed he’s sitting in the middle of a giant butterfly circle, unless he’s so used to it being Gabe’s logo that he’s just not paying it any mind. When was this all built? Has Gabe always used a butterfly motif even before he got his Miraculous and it was just a great coincidence, or did he commission this whole garden area after Emilie went missing? I guess you could pass it off as eccentricity but in the real world that would be a HUGE red flag that Gabe murdered her. I dunno man.

- DON’T WAVE AT HIM LIKE THAT, NATHALIE. YOU RATTED HIM OUT IN 5 SECONDS IN THAT THEORETICAL FUTURE WHERE YOU DISCOVERED HE WAS CHAT NOIR. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THIS BOY. >:V

- “It’s been one year.” HAS IT? Hasn’t Adrien been at school for at least a year now? Didn’t his mom vanish two years prior to that?! Maybe she’s talking about how long Gabe has been fighting Ladybug and Chat Noir but knowing this show’s messy timeline it could be anything. WHERE’S FELIX.

- That’s the song from Chat Blanc! Was that something his mom taught him? OH NO, I’M EVEN SADDER NOW. This is what I mean about Sébastien’s writing, we’d never get this kind of focus on Adrien from Garbage Man Astruc. This kind of character exploration does wonders for ML whenever it’s brought up so I hope this is consistent.

- SHIT, GABRIEL’S OUT OF THE HOUSE. SOMETHING’S WRONG. THOSE EXPENSIVE LEATHER SHOES HAVEN’T TOUCHED ACTUAL GROUND IN YEARS. ADRIEN GET OUT OF THERE.

- I do like that Adrien doesn’t get up when his dad comes to stand right next to him like that. It’s just informal enough. He’s waiting for Gabe to make the first move this time and that’s nice development considering how stiff and cold their relationship was in S1.

- OOOOH GABE THAT’S AN AWKWARD CROUCH. Any lower down and his back is going to go. He’ll be stuck there. I do LOVE that he’s trying though, I don’t even know what he’s going to say to Adrien but this is already SO good.

- “There’s something important I have to talk to you about.” Finally time for The Talk, huh.

- GABE PLEASE. ADRIEN’S WAY TOO CHIRPY TO HAVE ACTUALLY CAUGHT ON TO WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY. HE THINKS YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY YOU LOVE HIM OR SOMETHING ELSE RIDICULOUS

- “I’ve noticed how close you and Nathalie have become!” CLOSE ENOUGH. Still in the ballpark of Adrien thinking his dad has real human feelings! 

- “HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK SUCH A THING??” I GENUINELY LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT HOW ANGRY GABE WAS ABOUT THAT. I’m not sure what to think of the “Nathalie replacing Emilie when Emilie’s technically still alive” plot either but GABE’S DECIDED FOR ME. Also good job yelling in your son’s face when you were JUST having a moment, good luck getting back up off your knees in order to storm away, old man.

- Oh alright, he did get up, but it was with a strange angry bow-legged prance. I think he still had trouble.

- I love the way Adrien just kinda wide-eye-blinks at him, like Gabe’s emotional outburst is going totally over his head. He’s been dealing with akuma FAR too long to be bothered by this.

- Guests, plural? I’m guessing Felix is one of them but is he with someone else? That makes sense given he’s (as far as I’ve gathered) the same age as Adrien so he wouldn’t be running around far from home unchaperoned, but OHHH this is so interesting.

- So they ARE claiming it’s been one year since Emilie vanished! This just doesn’t work as a Season 3 episode, especially with Nathalie and Gabe’s romantic development being as far along as it is. Emilie’s been gone for at LEAST three years by this point! Read your show bible once in a while you horrible garbage man!!! Also ADRIEN SWEETHEART THAT’S A LITTLE PREMATURE. You can say “went away forever” when you’re three years into her disappearance, the anniversary of one year really isn’t long enough to claim she’s never coming back!

- OH NO, IT’S THE GIRLS. I’m already bored. Unless Luka is here I really just do not care what they’re all up to. I haven’t missed Marinette at ALL in the first two-and-a-half minutes and I don’t want to see her now. WHERE’S FELIX.

- I’m sorry, how are Lila, Chloé AND Kagami all on a video call together without any blood being drawn? Also for god’s sake PLEASE leave Adrien alone, you want to ask first if he’d LIKE some company or if he’d prefer a quiet personal day to think about his mom? OF COURSE NOT MARINETTE, YOU WOULDN’T WOULD YOU. 

- Okay, a video message is definitely a better idea than trying to break into his house AGAIN. At least then he can watch it whenever he feels up to it. The first good, safe, noninvasive idea Mari’s had for SEVERAL episodes when it comes to Adrien.

- I’M REALLY TORN WHEN IT COMES TO THE ENGLISH DUB. On one hand I hate how little screentime Nino has when he’s not just being Alya’s fashion accessory, but on the other hand I’m so glad they switched scenes the moment Nino started his video because I CANNOT handle his dub voice. Nino just deserves better in general really.

- HE WAS CRYING. MY BOY WAS CRYING AGAIN. I’M NOT COOL WITH THIS. IT’S NOT ABOVE YOUR PAYGRADE TO GIVE HIM A HUG, NATHALIE.

- ALRIGHT HI ELSA. IS THIS HIS AUNT? THAT’S SPOOKY. 

- Her name is Amelie? So their parents had twins and named them Amelie and Emilie, and they turned out the same right down to the over-the-shoulder Dead Anime Mom hairstyles? That’s lazy parenting down to a tee, can’t mix your twins up if you never have to learn the difference between them in the first place! But that’s INTERESTING that Felix is (I assume, still haven’t seen him yet) from Emilie’s side of the family, I’ve always had the impression he was a petit Gabriel.

- OHHH THAT’S MY BOY! I CAN SEE MY BOY IN THE DOORWAY!!! OH MY GOD GIVE HIM TO ME. GIVE ME FELIX. GIVE ME MY SON.

- ADRIEN IMMEDIATELY JUMPING ON HIM IN A HUG IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. WHILE FELIX’S HAND IS STILL OUTSTRETCHED FOR A HANDSHAKE. I know this episode is going to go downhill because there’s no way it won’t, but this one single moment is EVERYTHING I WANTED. I should just close the tab now and leave it at this, I really should.

- “Do you remember when they used to have so much fun pretending to be each other? Once they had you and Emilie fooled for a whole weekend!” WHERE HAS THIS BEEN FOR MY ENTIRE ORDEAL GETTING THROUGH THIS SERIES. I don’t even care if this Felix is a stone cold bitch, it’s enough to know he and Adrien were besties when they were kids and Adrien still wanted to hug him the second he walked through the door. AMAZING.

- “I WON’T BE FOOLED A SECOND TIME.” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, GABE. THEY WERE PROBABLY TODDLERS. ARE YOU JUST SO USED TO GETTING YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU BY CHILDREN THAT YOU’RE SUSPICIOUS OF EVERY SINGLE ONE NOW

- Aww, Felix is American (dubbed, anyway). I was really hoping he’d be British with all the references to London over the last season. He does have a nice voice though! I can tell he shares Adrien’s actor but he’s got the softness I’d have expected from his character. There’s kind of an interesting look about his face though, I wish they’d tweaked it a bit to give him a sharper look but I guess he IS like 14, he can afford to still have a bit of baby-cheeked roundness. I’m going to find the positives in every part of this because I will NOT give Garbage Man Astruc the satisfaction of being disappointed like I know he wants me to be. It’s been a fucking war from the moment I saw his name in the writing credits and my best weapon is being pleased about everything in this episode.

- Okay, he looks a little better in the following closeup where his eyes are slightly narrowed. I think it’s the slightly-below-the-chin angle which doesn’t really work for his character model with his soft cheeks and high collar. FELIX IS A BABY.

- WHY WILL NOBODY SHAKE HIS HAND. Adrien hugged him instead and Gabe is ignoring him completely, Felix is clearly so perplexed and I love it. He’s fourteen! He’s fourteen and doing his best with social graces but NOBODY WILL HELP HIM.

- “Felix, you know your uncle’s never been the physical sort!” HE KICKED HIS OWN SON RIGHT ACROSS PARIS IN THE LAST EPISODE BUT SURE, IF YOU SAY SO.

- “Oh, how sweet! You’re still wearing your wedding band!” YEAH? IT’S BEEN LIKE A YEAR?? Again this would make more sense if it had been around three years like we KNOW Emilie’s been gone for, but picking someone out for still wearing their ring after 12 months?! And why isn’t Amelie more emotional about this anyway, isn’t it her sister who’s missing? I wouldn’t be poking fun at MY sister’s husband for keeping his ring if SHE went missing. No wonder Felix seems like he turned out weird.

- I CAN’T MAKE OUT THE NAME OF HER BRANCH OF THE FAMILY AND IT’S KILLING ME. SOMEONE LET ME KNOW WHAT THAT WAS. Graham de Vanily? I can’t place the words. I mean I’m going to keep calling Felix “Agreste” no matter what but I’d like to know what canon is trying to get at.

- “It’s been a long journey from London” I KNEW IT, I FFFFFFFFFUCKING KNEW IT. SO THEY ARE BRITISH?! BUT THEY HAVE AMERICAN ACCENTS?! I mean I guess they’re French first and foremost, but what the fuck is with the American accents if you’re making a POINT about them being from London?! I can’t wait for the French audio to be released, I really want to know what Felix sounds like there. Regardless AAAH MY SON IS FROM MY CITY, I’M SO PLEASED.

- “TakeFelixtoyourbedroom.” EASY GABE THEY JUST MET, ALSO THEY’RE COUSINS

- Poor Felix looks so depressed being saddled with Adrien. Sweetie it’s okay, think positive! You could be stuck with Marinette and THAT would be a true nightmare.

- Now why does Felix keep glancing at Gabe? Is there something going on there? Is he suspicious about what happened to his aunt? I can’t imagine he knows anything about the Miraculous so what’s the deal here?

- UuuuuUUUUGH we’re back with the rest of the gang. I’M NOT INTERESTED, SHOW ME MORE FELIX.

- “Help me Tikki! What would you tell a Kwami friend who’s lost their mom?!” You’re talking to a 5000-year-old demigoddess, Mari, I don’t think she’s gonna relate.

- MARI YOU CAN’T CONFESS TO ADRIEN. NOT AFTER CHAT BLANC. GABE WILL LOSE ALL HIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT TO WRECK THE LOVE SQUARE AND ALSO THE MOON’S GOING TO EXPLODE. WHY ISN’T BUNNIX HERE TO SLAP THE TABLET OUT OF YOUR HANDS

- Should Tikki really be encouraging this?! I have no idea where in the timeline this is supposed to be. Maybe this is at a stage where she doesn’t know Adrien is Plagg’s chosen so there’s no reason to steer Marinette away from bonding with him. Or maybe every episode just plays by its own rules and there’s really no such thing as continuity in this series. I want to see Felix again.

- YANKING AT AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE ON THE OUTER EDGE OF A BOAT ISN’T GOING TO END WELL. DON’T. I do love how :D Alya is about it though, if nothing else I love what a supportive friend she is.

- Oh, the tablet didn’t go into the water! I’m genuinely surprised by that. Though I imagine Felix is going to fuck things up in some way so he’ll probably be the one to destroy the video somehow. We all know the relationship development isn’t allowed to move forward so SOMETHING’S going to happen to it.

- Thank god we’re back to the mansion. I’m surprised and pleased that (for now at least) we’re only getting the girls in small doses and the plot is mainly focused around the Agrestes. Gorizilla is my favourite episode to date and it did a similar thing with allowing Marinette to be a side character for once along an Adrien-centric plotline, so hopefully this episode will be similar. I’m liking its odds so far but who knows what Horrible Garbage Man Astruc has up his sleeve.

- “I’m really sorry I didn’t come to your dad’s funeral.” I’M SORRY WHAT? PARDON ME? THAT’S AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM I DIDN’T EXPECT. As a side note I love Felix being killer at basketball for some reason, he doesn’t look like the athletic type at ALL but he still made that net over his shoulder without even LOOKING. Goddamn. Can everyone please appreciate how cool my son is!!!

- “My father thought it would be too hard on me, considering everything that’s happened this year.” So Felix lost his dad VERY RECENTLY. OUCH. DON’T LIKE THAT. Or I DO like that because it’s already giving his character some extra depth when we’re still only just getting to know him, but on an emotional level I don’t like that. 

- “He’s very... protective of me.” CHAT BLANC REALLY WAS A HOT MESS OF AN EPISODE WASN’T IT. 

- Now Felix is giving Adrien a hug?! I didn’t see that one coming. My canon Felix would mean it but I don’t quite trust this new Felix yet, he’s probably up to something.

- WHAT A JARRING PIANO TRANSITION. Also why?! What does he have to gain from swiping Adrien’s phone? He’s probably got a terrible roaming plan on his own mobile, that’s always my problem when I go to France. If you truly loved your cousin you’d let him browse Reddit on your phone, Adrien. This is worse than not coming to his dad’s funeral.

- PLAGG KNOWS SOMETHING’S UP. He ought to, in another life he and Felix are STILL dealing with each other.

- Okay I take back what I said about Felix’s voice. Bryce Whatshisface isn’t doing a very good job separating the tones. I can buy that Adrien and Felix sound very similar but their delivery should be completely different! I really do want to watch this in French, I get the feeling it’ll sound much better.

- AH YES, HERE WE GO. I’m getting the feeling this is Garbage Man’s part of the episode. Squished cheese aside, I do like the implication Felix does (or did) card magic and karate. I’m thinking of that Mickey Mouse episode where he vanishes Donald’s car keys with a hand trick except it’s Felix vanishing Marinette’s phone when she’s about to text Adrien or something. I’ve got to draw that.

- “Mind if I take a shower?” WHY, FELIX. I mean I’d probably want to shower too after the London-Paris commute (and I’m sure he’s only going in there to wreak havoc, put food colouring in Adrien’s shampoo bottles or something) but what a weird time to ask!

- I mean Plagg has a point about difficult home situations not justifying bad behaviour (and I feel like that’s not what’s going on, with how he was glaring at Gabe I think he’s behaving like this for some other reason), but Felix’s dad LITERALLY DIED. Like they had a funeral and everything. Emilie is just “missing”. They’re SIMILAR but that’s still a false equivalence because Adrien’s got hope to hold on to and Felix doesn’t.

- So we’re not going to talk about how Felix got into Adrien’s passcode-protected phone? I guess he could have done the fogging-up-the-screen trick from Oblivio. Standing around in a steamy bathroom in three layers of clothing is a great way to sweat yourself out and ruin your hair though, way to get even more gross than a five-hour commute between countries.

- “Of course that idiot has a crush on a superhero!” EASY THERE, MR HOWLING-ON-A-ROOFTOP-BECAUSE-HE-SAW-THE-GIRL-HE-LIKED. WE’VE ALL SEEN THE PV.

- I’ve just noticed Felix has a ring too! I don’t know how I missed that before this scene! That’s NICE. He’s still not allowed to have it on his middle finger (LET HIM SWEAR) but that’s a nod back to Chat Noir which I really appreciate!

- ROSE HAS BEEN ON THE HELIUM. SOMETHING’S NOT RIGHT THERE.

- FELIX KNOWS CHLOÉ! THAT’S NICE, THAT’S GOOD. I LIKE THAT. That’s also a really nice little video from her, I love the few small moments we’ve had that affirm she and Adrien really ARE friends, whether she wants to date him or not. 

- OOOH HE DELETED THE VIDEOS. I’m curious about him borrowing Adrien’s clothes too, are they going to dress the same? You’d think Adrien wouldn’t give someone an exact copy of the outfit he’s currently wearing but I genuinely don’t know if he owns anything different. I hope they don’t just use two Adrien models for the rest of the episode, please let me see Felix properly :/

- WHY. HONESTLY, WHY. CAN I PLEASE GET AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY FELIX IS DOING THIS.

- OOOH MARI YOU’RE NOT GONNA LIKE THIS. I can imagine Felix is going to say something nasty and that’ll set the girls off and bring about the akuma of the week. I’m mildly entertained but I’m still not engaged with this idea without any proper explanation. We’d better get something by the end of the episode which justifies what’s made Felix do this, because “he’s just evil lol” would be a reeeeally low move from Garbage Man Astruc. 

- MARI SWEETIE. YOU’VE GOTTA LEARN TO CHECK A ROOM IS EMPTY BEFORE YOU RUN INSIDE AND START FREAKING OUT VERY LOUDLY. LUKA’S HEARD ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. 

- Luka is such a nice character. Why does he get to be so high quality when Felix has been turned into a cheese-smashing phone-stealing gremlin? I mean I KNOW why, but I’d like to think the showwriters are better than this. They’re not, but I’d like to think they are.

- WHAT A VIDEO MESSAGE. I love how Luka’s just sitting there grimacing while Mari speeds off into battle, he doesn’t know what she’s about to do but he knows better than to try stopping her.

- Back with Gabe and Nathalie. Is this what was being foreshadowed when Gabe claimed he wouldn’t be fooled by the boys’ identity switch twice? Is he GOING to be fooled again or will he be the one person who can tell immediately that this isn’t his son? 

- “FELIX.” WOW, HE REALLY WASN’T FOOLED TWICE. RESPECT. He may have trouble getting up off the ground if he sits down too low but he can at least identify his child in a difficult situation like this, props to Gabe this week.

- “All this disappointment might just help us get rid of our unwanted guests!” SHUT YOUR MOUTH, FELIX IS A DELIGHT. The only unwanted guest here is Astruc on the writing team.

- “Felix... I told you that you couldn’t fool me twice.” Way to blow your identity in five seconds Gabe. I guess he hasn’t sent out the akuma yet so this might just be a personal monologue, but he starts addressing his victims directly so often at this stage that I’m really not sure what they can or can’t hear. SHIT’S RISKY.

- OH OKAY, SO HE’S SENDING THIS TRIPLE AKUMA AFTER FELIX? AND/OR ADRIEN, DEPENDING ON HOW HARD IT IS TO TELL THEM APART? I guess that’s what he means by getting rid of their guests, if the house is attacked by a monster (or monsters?) they aren’t going to want to stick around, but I REALLY HOPE YOU’RE TAKING ADRIEN’S WELLBEING INTO ACCOUNT HERE GABE OL BUDDY :/

- “TIKKI, SPOTS ON! MNUURGH” ME TOO MARINETTE. I’M REALLY ONLY 12 MINUTES INTO THIS.

- I’m gonna be honest, I’m not really interested in the girls. I was hoping for a real triple akuma (like Oblivio was apparently Alya and Nino together) but they’re all just villains we’ve seen before. There’s stuff I could comment on here but I just want to see more of Felix, that’s what I’m here for.

- “Nathalie, get Adrien to a safe place far from his cousin!” YOU’RE REALLY JUST GONNA SACRIFICE FELIX LIKE THIS. I guess that makes sense, I WAS complaining during Chat Blanc that Adrien is Gabriel’s weak point, so all things considered I’m not surprised that he’ll protect Adrien but just flat-out wants Felix dead. Fair enough.

- WOW. I THOUGHT ADRIEN WAS GOING TO BE HEROIC AND DEFEND FELIX BUT HE WANTS HIM DEAD TOO. Or was that a double bluff to make the akuma think he MUST be Felix so he can lead them away and keep his cousin safe? He’s just run off with a wild cackle so I’m thinking it’s the latter. HE’S A GOOD BOY AND A TRUE HERO.

- I also find it kind of funny how Nathalie will jump in harm’s way to defend him when there have been INNUMERABLE other episodes of Gabe just setting an akuma directly on Adrien for the hell of it. Maybe because there isn’t really any ‘harm’ here to start with; the three girls’ powers are probably the least violent of all the akuma we’ve seen so far.

- AM I REALLY ABOUT TO SEE FELIX DRESSED AS ADRIEN DOING KARATE. I HOPE HE’S GOOD AT IT.

- OH MY GOD HE IS GOOD AT IT. That’s cool! I was expecting him to totally flop considering how badly his imposter trick went down a few minutes ago, but it’s nice to see he’s as capable at fighting as he is at basketball. When do I get to see his magic card tricks?

- YEAH I FEEL THE SAME PLAGG. WHAT’S EVEN HAPPENING. Not that I think Adrien shouldn’t save Felix, I just want to know WHY Felix felt like he had to do this in the first place! I feel like “can I PLEASE get a waffle” except instead of watching the employees fight I’m watching this episode careening away with no pauses to explain what’s going on.

- FELIX C’MON. STOP CAUSING PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. I can tell Garbage Man Astruc still has the reins here because causing even MORE trouble even AFTER Adrien saved his ass is a completely illogical course of action. PUT SÉBASTIEN BACK IN THE WRITERS CHAIR.

- “WHICH PART OF THE WORD ‘NO’ DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!” Oh perfect, great, can’t let this episode end without accusing Felix of not respecting consent! That’s a hot button issue and if Garbage Man Astruc can get him on that bandwagon then fans HAVE to hate this character! Great move! Fucking pillock!

- WOW CHAT THAT’S MEAN. I guess accusing Felix of having no friends is justified in the context of the episode but yikes :(

- Was that a flash of humiliation from Felix there? God will one of the writers PLEASE save this character, PLEASE don’t let this episode end without someone getting him out of the Garbage Man’s big meaty claws.

- Excuse me WHAT? Felix is talking directly to Papillon?! So he knows about all the Miraculous stuff?! Oh NO, is this about getting his dad back? I don’t know whether the One Wish is common knowledge (I don’t think it is?) but maybe Felix put the pieces together on his own back home, so all his behaviour here has been trying to incite an akuma that he can take advantage of to appeal to Papillon?! Or he could just be a bitch all on his own, which is probably what the Garbage Man would prefer, but this makes a lot of sense all of a sudden.

- BRO HE NEARLY DIED. BRO. BROOO.

- “I hope you’ve learned your lesson!” YOU’RE NOT EVEN GONNA ASK ABOUT THE PAPILLON THING? YOU CAN’T JUST TREAT THIS AS A REGULAR DISTURBANCE, FELIX KNOWS SHIT ABOUT THE MIRACULOUS YOU GUYS--

- FELIX’S MOM IS REALLY GOING TO BLAME HIS DEAD DAD FOR THIS? HARD YIKES. NO WONDER FELIX IS WEIRD.

- I’m expecting this isn’t over, because Felix still clearly wants something specific that he didn’t get, but I’ll take this cute hug for what it is. He didn’t have an evil expression behind Adrien’s back this time either and the music is all soft and nice, plus he FINALLY got a handshake from Gabe, but I absolutely do NOT imagine this episode will end without getting an extra shot in at the PV fans somehow. We’re not getting off this easy.

- Why doesn’t Gabriel want Adrien to go after Felix? Is he scared he’ll try to run off, or ask them to stay longer when he really wants to get rid of them?

- AHAHA FELIX STOLE GABE’S RING. WHAT A BRAT. Was that the “jewelry” he mentioned wanting in return for helping Papillon? I figured it was a Miraculous thing but maybe not.

- OHHH, look how much Felix loves his mom! This is such a sweet scene. I particularly like the idea that Amelie was trying to get the rings back to give one to Felix because the way she was speaking to Gabe made it sound like she wanted them Just Because. But you can’t mention some wild story connected to the rings and then not explain it! I want to know what that is, I want to know why Felix is so fascinated with it!!!

- ALSO, FELIX GETTING A BIG KISS RIGHT ON THE FOREHEAD. EXCELLENT. I’ll fucking BET this is another scene Sébastien sneaked in because it’s such an emotional quality shift from the whole clone mess. Like what the fuck even WAS that.

- Yep, Felix is still evil! WHY THOUGH. WHAT’S GOING ON. CAN I PLEASE GET A WAFFLE

- I was expecting a worse ending, but “Felix can’t ever come back to Paris because Gabriel will kill him with his bare hands if he does” is decent enough. If there’s no further confirmation (and NO, anything Garbage Man Astruc tweets later on does NOT fucking count so don’t try me) I’m going to take it that he WAS actually sorry for what he did to Adrien. That’s better than nothing.

.

.

WELL THAT WAS AN EPISODE. That actually wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be - it could have been a lot better but it could have been a lot worse too. The beginning and end were nice enough even if the middle part was Garbage Man Astruc’s usual atrocious mess of self-service, though I do particularly despise the hamfisted consent issue shoved in there just to generate extra reasons to hate the character. WE GET IT, YOU DON’T LIKE FELIX. OFF YOU FUCK. 

I’ve slept on this next paragraph to give myself time to formulate some concrete thoughts about the plot, so... Well, it was a mess, that’s for sure. They spent way too much time establishing how oH sO eViL Felix was and not nearly enough time actually explaining his character. 

Why is he acting out like this? What has he got against Adrien in particular? Is he really sore about Adrien not supporting him at his dad’s funeral or is that just what Adrien thinks is his problem? What was his relationship with his dad before he died? Was his troublemaking all about trying to provoke an akuma and ask Papillon to help him get his family rings back (which he was clearly trying to steal from the moment he walked through the door, only Gabe wouldn’t shake his hand the first time), or was that just a side effect of causing shit for no reason? Did he mean his apology to Adrien at the end? WHAT was the deal with the rings and the story attached to them? There’s a whole interesting story buried in here which just got completely overlooked by the emphasis on how terrible he was and that’s really disappointing. 

I did like his damaged-but-still-good relationship with Adrien though, there’s still hope there and maybe Felix (if he ever shows up again, which I only hope he does if it’s NOT another excuse for Garbage Man Astruc to shit on the PV fandom again, for the love of FUCK don’t give this guy multiple opportunities) will start coming around and making the effort to be a better cousin since Adrien’s given him a second chance. I don’t know. What I liked just as much was Marinette actually barely being in this episode at all, for the first time since Gorizilla she’s ALLOWED to be the supporting character again and that’s GREAT.

I don’t really know what else to say. I’m exhausted. Adrien’s a darling and I think I prefer my Twin AU, though canon Felix being a delightful little gremlin who causes problems-on-purpose is something I can work with in the future too. 

Thanks for coming on this... interesting journey with me! I posted a set of tweets last night which I’ll leave here to finish up:

[abloomntime]

A Bloom In Time Ch 20 Starella

Poppy was exhausted.

All the hard working running around crawling through tunnels and cleaning everything even with help was hard. Didn't help that she also had to fix a hole in the attic. Luckily for her Hattie did have some nails and a hammer, so fixing it took at most seven minutes tops. But she still was feeling really exhausted. So she grabbed one of those adult sized dresses from the wardrobe which to be honest, she didn't find attractive at all. Both were a dark blue color with white laced collars and sleeves, studded with a row of obvious fake rubies. But hey. She needed something to wear if Snatcher was offering to repair her old blue one. So after a quick dip in the bathtub and brush of her teeth she returned wearing the gaudy thing and her old dress folded neatly to be handed to him. He sorta stared at her for a moment with her long slightly wet hair clinging to her and the strange dress she wore. But she didn't say anything other than what sounded as a mumbled thanks before taking the dress and a moment later disappearing in that cloudy mist of purple without a good bye. She supposed with all those letters cuz they weren't there after he disappeared. She was SO tired. She swore she could drop to the carpet right now and sleep for another thousand years or more.

Poppy yawned loudly and stretched out her back which popped, but didn't get much time to relax before a few tugs came from her dress and she looked down with a hum to meet the eyes of the children smiling up at her. "Yes?"

"Can you please read us a bed time story?," Bow asked politely smiling up at her. "Snatcher said our reward for helping was any story we wanted!"

"And I....*yaaaawn* suppose he told you I'd read it huh?" Both nodded and she sighed reaching a hand up to rub her face. "Oh, alright. G-Go take a bath and brush up. I-I'll meet ya'll there."

Honestly she was expecting a hallway to a child's bedroom to be less...I don't know...intimidating? But the dark purple carpet with black vines woven into them was something that sent a shiver down her spine. It was so spooky, but she bit her tongue and made it to her destination. All she remembered was flopping face first into the pillow pile and closing her eyes for just a moment to relax before those youngins came back a looking for her and demanding their story. Which is exactly what happened. She guessed she must've dozed off because she was violently shook back awake with a snort from her and she tiredly blinked those tired eyes open to two little smiling girls, dressed in star and cat printed pjs, and Hattie holding a book in her hands.

"Storytime!," Hattie loudly shouted and shoved the book at her in excitement.

Poppy blinked at it tiredly for a moment before sighing and picking up the book. "A-Alright. *YYAAWWWWNNN* Y-You two go get in bed and I'll Just..b-be there in a sec." She yawned loudly again as the two scrambled for the giant bed as she got up and walked over to it. Plopping herself down at the end of it and looking at them. The bed was big enough for three adults so there was easily enough room for the both of them there snuggled down in the blanket surrounded by toys. Smiling and eargerly awaiting for the reward Snatcher had promised them. Well she couldn't just not give them a story. With a yawn she turned to the book in her hands and blinked at the title. A single orange-red silhouette of a woman stood on the cover. "Starella?"

Hattie nodded. "Yeah! DJ Grooves gave it to us. He said it's the most popular story right now! We really like it! Please read it!"

Poppy gave a small smile and a smaller yawn. "Alright. Just settle down now." Turning her blue tired eyes back to the cover she sighed and read outloud. "Starella. Written by Pen Gwen. Illustrated by Sunny Shine." Opening the cover she saw the same Orange-red shadow of the woman on the cover next to a larger man's silhouette of the same color. Both were standing in front of a large mansion and pretty landscape. "O-Once upon a time far away in the milky way galaxy, there lived a kind man and his daughter. The man was a very wealthy business man and his daughter was one of the most magnificent people of heart and beauty in the land. With a firey passion and flare like fire, and kindness that shone brighter than the very sun. Because of such bright straits people often referred to her as a star among the people. So she was named, Starella." She turned to the next page and it had the same two orange-red people but this time with two other silhouettes of two women wearing dresses. The taller green person was holding hands with the orange man inside what looked to be a princess's library. "One day Starella's father fell in love with a beautiful widow who had a daughter close to Starella's age. But the woman's beauty hid a cruel heart of greed that would ultimately reveal itself-" Poppy jumped when Hattie suddenly blew a raspberry at the picture and Poppy blinked at her. "Now what was that all about? I thought I was reading this here story pretty well."

Hattie huffed and crossed her arms pouting. "Those pecknecks need to get lost."

"Hey!" Poppy pointed at her. "Watch your language young lady! One more curse outta you and I'm going to stop right here."

Bow scowled and nudged Hattie who groaned. "Fine. I'm sorry."

Poppy nodded. "That's better. Now don't let me here either of ya say that again." She turned back to the book and turned the page. It showed Starella, who she had now come to know as the female orange-red silhouette, staring out the window at a horse drawn carriage leaving the home. "One day her father's rich work came to a point where he had to leave for a year long business trip and left poor Starella in the care of her Stepmother, which is where the trouble began." She flipped the page again and it showed Starella washing dishes and mopping floors as the green stepmother stood in the doorway pointing. "Starella's Stepmother and stepsister were cruel to her. Taking away all her fine clothing and treasures and making her dress and work as a maid in her own home. Despite this she never lost that shiny kindness she was named for." Turning the page she got a whole new bunch of settings. A beautiful green landscape, a good sized town, and a giant castle. "One day the Prince of the land had finally become eligible to be married and his parents wanted nothing more than to know he found the right soul mate for him. So one day one of his fathers asked his son a question."

She turned the page again and paused. On the next page was two silhouettes of two men wearing crowns and sitting in thrones. One man a light blue and the other a dark red. Before them stood a young dark blue silhouette of a young man with his hair in a ponytail standing before them in some grand ball room. Wow. The artist really knew their stuff drawing all these details in didn't they?

" 'My son,' one of the Kings asked their son.," Poppy continued to read. " 'Your father and I are growing more old in age and one day you shall take responsibility over the kingdom and all who live in it. We must know, have you picked who will rule by your side?' The prince sadly hung his head before his two fathers and replied, 'Alas for I have not. For no one has caught my attention and no one has wanted anything more to do with me than my throne. I wish to meet someone I can love as much as they truly love me in return, but no one I have ever met had showed me such a thing.' " Poppy blinked in slight awe and turned the page as she focused more on the story. It had the same scene only the red king had stood up and was now pointing at the dark blue prince. " 'I have a grand idea!', the king yelled for all to hear, 'One that shall solve this problem. We shall invite all the eligible people in the land no matter commoner or noble. From them you can choose who you shall wed!'" Poppy turned the next page and it showed a yellow silhouette man handing out letters to other men and women silhouettes of various colors and shades. "The prince happily agreed. So a message was sent out to every young eligible man and woman no matter commoner or wealthy noble." She turned the next page and she saw the same yellow messenger standing in front of the doorway holding out a letter to the green stepmother.

"Poppy?" She hummed and looked up to Hattie who gave a tiny yawn before asking, "What does eligible mean?"

"Oh. I-I *YAWN* means you're able to be able to do something. L-Like how we're all eligible to sleep." The little girl responded with an 'Oh' and the red head looked back to the book. "One day a letter arrived at Starella's home. Offically inviting Starella and her step sister to the grand ball." She turned with a yawn to the next page which had both the step mother and stepsister's figures glaring down Starella. " The Stepmother and Stepsister were overjoyed. 'This is your chance!,' the Stepmother said to her daughter, 'You are the most beautiful young lady in the land! You must make the prince fall in love with you and you shall become the queen! Then we shall both live the rest of our lives in peace.' Starella politely asked if she could go but the stepmother ignored her in favor of showering her own daughter in praise and telling her what needed to be done for their goal." Poppy yawned again loudly as she turned the next page. Shaking her head and looking at the next page which showed the same scene from before but this time Starella was glaring back instead of her face turned down. "Days passed and the day of the ball came to be. Defying her Stepmother's wishes she stole back one of her fancy dresses and said to her stepmother, "I don't care what you say anymore. I will be going to the ball and my father shall hear of your ways.' With that Starella marched up the stairs to get herself ready for the ball that night. Enraged by Starella's actions the stepmother and stepsister decided to seek revenge."

Poppy again turned the page and it showed the mansion at night time and a carraige being driven away from the house, Starella was looking out one of the windows. Night time....sounded like a great time to get some well deserved sleep. Her tired body ached and she yawned again, those eyes slowly closing ....closer....closer.... She yelped when something made the bed move a bit and looking over found it was Hattie looking tired but pouting.

"C'mon. What happened next?"

"Huh...OH! RIGHT!!" Blue tired eyes looked back to the page. "Without Starella knowing the carriage to take them to the ball arrived. As quickly and quietly as mice, the two slipped away and made off into the night. By the time Starella noticed, it was too late." She turned the page and it showed Starella in a flowing dress on the kitchen floor in a crying pose. "Distraught. Starella sat by the kitchen fire to warm herself and weep her sorrows away. 'Do not be said', cried a woman's voice." Turning another page, it showed Starella gazing up at the kitchen window where a white duck was perched. "Startled, Starella turned her face up towards the sound of the voice and saw a tiny duck perched in her window. 'Who are you?," Starella asked. 'I am the great Mother Goose.,' the duck replied, 'Do not weep. Dry those tears. You saved me when those two wicked women wanted to fry me for dinner, and now I shall repay your kindness in full. Bring me one chess knight that's snow white, a nutcracker,  and one apple from the pantry. Now hurry. We haven't got much time.'" She turned the next page and it showed Starella holding a bright red apple and the white horse piece from a chess board game outside. " She....*YYYYAAAAWWWNNN* quickly did as the duck asked and brought what she needed. 'Lay them upon the ground and stand aside,' the duck said. Starella quickly did as she was told as the duck waved her wing over the items. "

"Poppy?"

"Yes?"

"*yawn* W-What's a chess knight?"

"It's the little pieces of the game chess that look like ponies," she replied before turning another page tiredly and there was a pretty sight. A beautiful red carriage with the door held open by a handsome man in a suit, and the most beautiful white horse at the front. "Before her very eyes the items turned into a magnificent couch with a horse and driver to navigate it. As Starella climbed into the couch, Mother Goose perched upon the door to give one final warning. 'I hope you find the happiness you seek, but remember this,' she warned, 'You must leave by Midnight for that is when my magic will fade away and you shall be stranded.' Starella promised the Mother Goose she'd remember the warning and bid the goose good bye as it flew into the sky, and the couch slowly made it way towards the castle." Turning to the next page it showed the castle and the steps leading up to the grand entrance and sitting on the stairs gracefully was the dark blue prince. "Unknownst to her the prince was awaiting within the entrance to the grand castle, tired from the large gathering of crowded people inside and not having the desire to having others and so many seeking him out at once. But suddenly he saw the most unusual sight." Turning the page again, it showed the red apple couch pull up to the castle steps. "The most radiant of red couches he had ever seen appeared pulled by the most purest of white horses. Surely this must've been someone important. As Starella emerged from the couch, the prince was entranced by her beauty as she stepped towards him." Another page turn, reveling the two figures looking at each other on the stairs. "Taken by her stunning beauty, the prince stood to greet the fair maiden and welcome her to the castle. Moved by the handsome strangest politeness she asked what he was doing out here all alone, and he replied, 'It is because it became too crowded for my liking. I wished to come out here and take a break and talk to someone. But you look new around to the castle. My I offer to show you around the castle?' Starella agreed and took the arm the man offered her. Leading her into the castle above."

Poppy took a moment after turning the next page to turn to look over at the Girls. Hattie was snoring away flopped back against the pillow. But Bow was still wide awake, smiling at her and pointing to the book. Where it showed the duo standing in the middle of a very crowded room filled with other colorful silhouettes.

"Next page please."

Poppy smiled and figured she might as well finish the book for the one who was still awake. "Well...Starella and the prince spent the entire ball together sharing each other's interests and experiences, getting along so very lovely enraptured by each others' personalities. As time went on Starella forgot all about Mother Goose's warnings as they talked, laughed, and danced the night away. But that all changed in a blink of an eye." The next page beheld Starella running away from the prince who had his arm outstretched out for her and a giant clock tower shone from behind them with the face reading midnight. "The clock struck midnight and everything the Mother Goose had ever said came rushing back to her. In an instant full of dread, Starella fled from the Prince and to the exit but it was too late. The couch had transformed back into an apple. The horse to a chess knight. And the handsome couchman back into the nutcracker. Having no other choice, Starella fled down the road into the night back towards her home." New page, new scene of the prince in the middle of the crowd with everyone looking at him. "Determined the prince announced that same night that he would love nothing more than to again meet this mystery lady and he was determined to meet her again." Another page showing the stepmother and stepdaughter home glaring at Starella again. "Because the castle was so crowded Starella's Stepmother and Stepsister had not seen her at all, and so paid no attention to her upon arriving home. Only caring about the Prince's proclaim." New page showed the prince riding through town on a beautiful white horse through town. "For days the prince searched far and white for the maiden with bright kindness and hair that shown brighter than any star. No one could tell him who this mysterious maiden was and he was beginning to lose hope when he finally reached the home of Starella and her step family. Where he finally found what he seeked." Turning the page it showed the prince kneeling, face pointed towards the floor, and holding her hand the green figures of the stepfamily behind them. " 'At last I have found you,' he said with glee, 'Starella, I have searched far and wide because before no one had ever showed me the kindess you have. With your p-permission..*YAAAAWWN* I-I would love nothing more than to learn more about you.' "

Poppy didn't notice but Bow had already long since laid down to sleep as well, but she kept going reading the story to it's end as her own body was slowly falling into the same spell of sleep they had by the Sandman. The next page showed Starella's father pointing outside standing in the doorway pointing as the Stepmother and Stepdaughter fled.

"Starella happily agreed and her father returned. Upon hearing what her Stepmother and Stepsister had done while he was away, he banished them from his home never to return again." She turned to the last page where it showed a very elaborate wedding and the Prince and Starella being the ones to be wed. "After a few years of letting their love and fondness for each other grow, Starella and the prince were finally married. The End."

The book was slowly closed by the red head along with her eyes and with another loud yawn, sleep had finally claimed the last lady there. All three sleeping peacefully until the morning had come.

[hajimewhore]

Falling ⛈️ (Matsukawa Issei/Reader)

on [Ao3]

➸Rated T, fem!Reader, 7k+words    ➷Part 1 of the Haikyuu Song Fic Collection    ➷Angst, depression, fluff, humor, Makki is bestest friend   ➷When you met Matsukawa for the first time, you were immediately drawn to him. He’s tall, handsome, has a mysterious air to him. The more you got to know him, the more you saw firsthand how caring, loving, and passionate he could be.

After getting to know him longer, you also began to see how self-deprecating and hard on himself he could be.

[Masterlist] [part 2]

A/N: This is the first part of a two part Matsukawa/Reader piece! It’s also my second fic here, and the first entry to the song fic collection I’ll be doing. Per the title, it’s based on Harry Styles, Falling, ENJOY! ♡

Hanamaki Takahiro, previously ‘between jobs’, was a classmate of yours that recently started working at the restaurant you served at. It was upon your recommendation, something you might’ve come to regret given how much of a smug bastard he could be. Regardless, you enjoyed his company, and morale was boosted whenever he worked.

Currently, you find yourself taking back that sentiment.

The entirety of your Saturday night shift was spent with Hanamaki hovering around you, attempting to convince you to come out to drink with some of his friends and other coworkers.

And by the time you clocked out to get the hell home, Hanamaki was perched at the break table outside ready to pester you some more.

“Hanamaki, can I at least go home and change first?”

You whine, folding your apron and tucking it under your arm.

“No way, that’s the classic ‘I’m just going home to change but I’m actually going to stay in and “forget” to text you’ move, I’m not buying it.”

He loosens his tie with a knowing look, and you grimace at how easily he caught on to your plan. You make sure to chalk ‘perceptive’ before ‘smug bastard’ in your mental description of Hanamaki.

“Besides, there’s a perfectly fine sweater in your backseat and I know you’ve got an extra set of shoes somewhere in there.”

You trudge to said car, regretting giving him a ride to work the other day. You swing open the door with a little more drama than intended, before tossing your apron carelessly to the passenger side.

“I’ll make it up to you, how about next week?”

“Don’t be like that. It’s the weekend, enjoy it before Monday is here.”

He leans back against his car parked besides yours and you sigh. You just finished exams, so you don’t have any material to study. And you haven’t spent much time with your coworkers outside of work. One or two drinks wouldn’t hurt.

And judging by the way Hanamaki is looking at you expectantly, he already knows you don’t have a shift tomorrow or any plans.

“Fine!”

You huff, taking a seat behind the wheel. Hanamaki tilts his head in your line of view to flash a bright smile,

“Great, see you there!”

Perceptive smug bastard.

Downtown is lively tonight, you note, but luckily you were able to snag a good spot close to the bar. Hanamaki should be grateful you didn’t have to circle around for spaces or park by some seedy alley or lot. You might’ve just ditched him if it came to that.

Then again, you’d never hear the end of it if you did.

When you check your phone, you scowl at the texts in your work group chat.

Kazami- Can’t make it, I got a shift in the morning! Hashira- me either :( Hanamaki- laaaaame Iwasaki- sorry man, next week?

“Those flakes!”

You lock your phone without replying. You can’t exactly blame them, you heavily considered bailing too. Hanamaki just happened to be enough of a persistent, perceptive, smug bastard. You note the addition of ‘persistent’ to the growing list of adjectives that describe Hanamaki.

You trudge along the street, dreading the intense socializing you’re about to go through. Since the aforementioned flakey coworkers won’t be there, Hanamaki is the only person you’re going to know.

He’d mentioned some of his friends from high school were meeting up, and that he hadn’t seen some of them in awhile. If you had one, you’d bet your left nut that Hanamaki was going to forget to talk to you and give them all his attention.

You steel your resolve as you step into the bar, scanning for that obnoxious strawberry blonde. Is he not here yet?

You shoulder past some strangers, stealing a seat at the bar. You might as well grab something if you have to wait on him.

“Baybreeze please,”

You smile at the bartender, who nods and promptly snags the liquor off the glowing shelves. You watch, momentarily mesmerized by the shifting colors illuminating the liquor and sleek countertops.

He places the cocktail onto a beer napkin, and you hand him your card to close the order.

Where the fuck is Hanamaki?

You pull out your phone to check for any texts, sipping at the drink.

Your brows furrow, nothing from him. You shoot him a text asking if he made it yet, and he’s quick to respond that he’s looking for parking.

You scowl, the night hasn’t technically started if he’s not here yet, and the dread you were feeling before doubles.

“Here you are, miss.”

When the bartender hands your card back you note there isn’t any receipt.

He shrugs at the questioning look you give him,

“Guy over there covered it.”

He tilts his head and you follow his eyes to the other end of the counter.

You blink when you catch the gaze of the culprit.

He’s tall with dark hair, his curls are perfectly styled tapering to the right side of his face, dark eyes to match. He’s illuminated by the neon colors adorning the bar, highlighting his sharp jawline. You feel a bit nervous under that sharp gaze, and a little lightheaded at the smile he flashes. Did you mention he was really tall?

You flush when he rounds the bar and makes his way towards you.

“Hey.”

A simple introduction, his voice is deep and it sends a shiver down your spine. He cops the empty seat beside you and you find yourself straightening your posture.

“Hey. You didn’t have to buy my drink, you know.”

You take a sip from the cocktail to busy your hands with something.

“I needed a good icebreaker.”

He shrugs, taking a swig from his own beer.

“I think ‘Hey’ is just fine.”

You tease and he laughs lightly at that, and the sound of it alone makes you blush. Hopefully you can blame it on the alcohol.

“Meeting someone?”

He raises a thick brow, and you can tell he’s testing the waters with you.

“Ah, yeah. My friend is on his way right now.”

Though if Hanamaki is inevitably going to ditch you for his other friends, you might as well see where this road is taking you.

You note the contemplative flash on his face and you feel the intense need to clarify,

“Just a friend. He’s my coworker.”

You don’t miss the way his eyes shine at that, and you can’t help but feel a little excited by the way he’s so interested in you already.

“Noted.”

“So—“

You pause, realizing you don’t even know how to refer to tall, dark, and handsome,

“Sorry, I don’t even know your name,”

You introduce yourself and a grin spreads across his cheeks, laughing again. He places an elbow on the counter and rests his chin against his palm, and you once again note how attractive he looks with the shifting colors of the bar highlighting his features like a silver lining on a cloud.

“No, that’s my fault. I should’ve probably started with that. I’m—“

“MATSUKAWA!”

His eyes widen briefly before lifting his head from his palm to see whoever yelled that at the top of their lungs.

You follow the familiar voice to the best of your ability through the cacophony of voices and music, to see none other than your favorite bastard coworker, Hanamaki.

He quickly makes his way before you, slinging his arm around presumably ‘Matsukawa’. He also makes great work of physically and mentally cutting off the momentum that was building between the two of you.

....don’t get the wrong idea though, you are still very, very, interested in who this guy is exactly.

“Hanamaki!”

You both voice at the same time, and the two of you share an equally confused look.

“I see you’ve already met my friend,”

Hanamaki comments so very astutely, and you’re not quite sure which person he’s referring to. He raises a brow at the fact the two of you are sitting together, mid conversation before he barreled in.

At this current moment you’d like nothing more than to swipe that shameless and knowing look of his face.

“This is Matsukawa Issei. He’s one of the friends I told you was coming tonight.”

Hanamaki continues, he pats his shoulder roughly and Matsukawa slaps him on the back to return the gesture.

“Nice to meet you, Matsukawa.”

You smile, and he glances over with those dark eyes you’d love to get lost in if Hanamaki wasn’t here to ruin your fun.

“Likewise.”

A similar shy smile crosses his lips, and it almost looks out of place on his striking features.

“Did Makki seriously just butt himself into Mattsun trying to pick up a girl?”

A different voice jumps in, and it’s attached to a tall brunette with a handsome face.

“Asshole, don’t talk about people when they’re right there!”

Another guy enters the commotion, and to your astonishment he doesn’t hesitate to wack the guy in his gut.

“Ow, Iwa-chan, you brute! Mattsun deserves it for ditching us like that anyways.”

The brunette brushes back a perfect coif in his hair before nursing the wound in his side.

Matsukawa’s cheeks redden, and you can tell it’s not because of the red light the bar lights transitioned to.

“Mattsun, huh?”

You cover the soft laugh that escapes your lips and his lips turn down. Is he pouting?

“Aww, gang is all here now!”

Hanamaki grins, introducing you to ‘Oikawa Tooru’ and ‘Iwaizumi Hajime’.

You’re sneaking glances at Matsukawa, and you can tell he feels grateful the attention of his friends are off of him now.

The five of you make your way to a booth, letting the guys catch up for a bit. Oikawa just flew in from Argentina, Iwaizumi has a break from school in California. Matsukawa actually attends the same college you and Hanamaki attend, to your surprise. The campus is relatively small, and you’re left wondering how you never spotted the tall, attractive man, even in passing.

Initially, you’d felt like the night was going to be a drag, not wanting to get left out of Hanamaki’s circle of friends.

....but at the time, you didn’t know the handsome guy at the bar that paid for your drink was one of them.

You find yourself easily wrapped up in conversation with them, losing track of time, and practically in stitches laughing through their banter.

You’ll apologize to Hanamaki later for making such a fuss. You make it a mental note after wiping a tear of laughter from the corner of your eye.

“Hanamaki surprisingly gets a lot of numbers written on napkins, actually.”

You recount to Matsukawa, who at some point started a conversation with you that broke away from the group’s antics. The other three are still chattering away across the booth, but they’re paying no mind to your end.

Oikawa shouts something unintelligible at Iwaizumi, causing Hanamaki to practically bust a gut.

Matsukawa slides closer to you, and you’re knees brush against each other. The close proximity allows you to converse with a little more ease over the deafening noises surrounding the bar, but it doesn’t help your rapidly increasing heart rate.

“‘Surprisingly’? What, Hanamaki not your type?”

He tilts his head, and you’re able to catch all the little features of his face you weren’t able to at the distance you had before. Beauty marks, imperfections, childhood scars you’d love to question at a later date, but it all comes together to make the man before you seem that much more appealing.

“Mmm, no. I like someone taller. He’s good looking, but I’m not too into the strawberry blond. I like dark hair.”

Realistically, you’re not that nit picky about what features you like in a guy, but you couldn’t resist the opportunity. And the way Matsukawa lights up just fraction, with that self assured expression, makes you bite back a blushing laugh.

“I’m not that much taller than him, you know.”

He responds with confidence, and you narrow your eyes ready to tease him.

“What makes you think I was talking about you?”

You reach over to poke his chest, no longer able to resist touching him. Your hands had been fidgeting at your sides, toying with your sweater sleeves and brushing your hair the entire night. The touch wasn’t even anything special, a fingertip to the fabric of his loose tee wasn’t anything to brag to your friends about, but it sent a wave of excitement through you nonetheless.

“My bad, how presumptuous of me. Forgive me for being so rude.”

He laughs at the set up that played out perfectly for you, resting a hand to your shoulder in his exaggerated apology.

His gesture definitely covered a bigger surface area than yours had, and the contact a little less brief. For some reason, you feel a spike of competitiveness surge in you.

You rest your palm on his knee, using it as leverage to shift closer to him on the booth.

His gaze flicks to your hand briefly, to your thighs that gently press next to his, and he deftly accommodates your intrusion of his space by resting his arm around the back of the seat.

“I’ll forgive you if you tell me what type of girl you’re into. It’s only fair, you know!”

You flash your most innocent smile, eyes catching his when they shift back to you.

“My type hm? Well currently, I think I’m—“

“Mattsuuuun,”

Oikawa takes that exact opportunity to sling his arm around Matsukawa, and his brow ticks at the second interrupted moment of the night.

“Oikawaaaa,”

He mockingly whines back, peeling his friend’s arm off his shoulder. You momentarily feel disappointed for the loss of attention from Matsukawa, but soon find yourself laughing at the display before you.

“Mattsun, ‘m so drunk. Can we please head back? Before I throw up? I might just throw up if we don’t. And it’s gonna be all over your lap. You don’t want that right?”

Thinking back, Oikawa did mention he was crashing at Matsukawa’s place before heading back to Argentina.

“If you throw up in here I’m beating your ass, you hear that Shitty Oikawa? Drunkawa? Learn your limits!”

Iwaizumi scolds with a scowl you’re beginning to think is always present on his face, but he hoists Oikawa’s arm around his shoulder for him to lean on anyways.

“Alright, alright. You don’t have to manipulate me in to taking you home.”

Matsukawa sighs, before tapping your thigh apologetically to slide out of the booth.

“Should’ve made him stay with Hanamaki.”

He mutters under his breath, but you’re able to catch it over the music somehow.

“Good seeing you Hanamaki,”

Matsukawa turns to Hanamaki, throwing a peace sign.

“Don’t give me that, we’re in the same town but I hardly see you! Hang out more often, okay?”

Hanamaki huffs, before pulling him to a brief hug.

“I’ll definitely try.”

He glances back to you, and you’re dying to know what he’s thinking while he’s giving you that smirk.

“Come on big guy,”

Matsukawa aids Iwaizumi in dragging Oikawa out of the booth, wrapping an arm around his side.

“It was nice meeting you.”

He turns to face you with an exasperated look, and you wonder in that moment why you two hadn’t exchanged numbers yet.

Now would definitely be the most inopportune time, considering his hands are full with.... well, Oikawa.

You bite your lip, could you just ask him for it and you could just enter it in your contacts?

No, that’s much worse. Not in front of his friends, especially Hanamaki, and it’ll definitely make you sound desperate.

“You too. I had fun tonight. Get that one home safe, okay?”

You force out a laugh, and he nods at your instructions before saying his goodbyes to drag Oikawa back with Iwaizumi.

You collapse back onto the booth, pressing your hands to your burning face.

Augh, you should’ve asked for his number sooner!

When you pull your hands back, you squawk at the sight of Hanamaki with that shit eating look before you.

“Shut up!”

You blush, this time you might actually smack the look off his face.

“I didn’t say anything!”

He snickers, and you give him an angry stare, but it’s definitely coming across as a red faced pout.

“You didn’t have to. It’s all over your face.”

It’s indeed all over his face. He’s doing a poor job of hiding that smirk, he’s got one eyebrow raised, arms crossed, and that patented, all knowing Hanamaki look in his eyes.

“...I’m just sayin’, the sexual tension between you two was astronomical.”

“Aaaaahhhh! Shut up, shut up!”

You jump from your seat, very animatedly waving your arms frantically in an attempt to physically blast his words out of existence. You can’t believe he just said that. Hanamaki laughs heartily, and your blush reaches maximum red.

“If you want, I can give you his number? You kinda looked like you wanted to ask but—“

“Stop talking, please!”

He throws his hands up in defense, and you do your best to scowl under the embarrassment filling your entire being.

“I’m out, see you Monday. Makki.”

You stick your tongue out and he snorts,

“I heard enough of that during my high school career from Oikawa, please don’t make that a thing.”

You wave him off flippantly, making your way for the exit.

“Then I’ll be sure to tell all our coworkers about it.”

You can’t help but smirk when you hear the groan that escapes his lips,

“And get home safe, okay?”

“Yeah yeah, you too.”

He waves, heading to the bar to close his tab.

It’s been a week already, and you’re still thinking about Matsukawa.

You wonder if you should’ve taken up Hanamaki’s offer at the time for Matsukawa’s number. At the time, you’re certain he would’ve handed it over with only a minimal amount of teasing.

Minimal is still a lot for Hanamaki, but you think you could’ve handled it better back then.

And though you only had two drinks the entire night, you definitely could’ve played the ‘oops I guess I was a little tipsy’ card with him.

But now, the only thing keeping you from asking is the sheer embarrassment that’ll come with it.

‘You must really like him if you’re asking for his digits a whole week later!’, your inner thoughts do an excellent job of replicating Hanamaki’s smug voice.

You tie your apron on, shaking your head of the thoughts. You’ve got a long night ahead of you, and you don’t even really feel like working tonight. You only came in as a favor since Iwasaki had to call out. You’d much rather be at home studying.

By that, you mean procrastinating with video games and/or browsing through shows you won’t end up watching. And what a wonderful night in that would’ve been, you let out a melancholic sigh.

Despite your hopes of a slow night, this Saturday is as busy as the last.

“Hey, you got a one top at 22!”

Hanamaki’s voice calls from down the line, and you briefly wonder why he sounds so shit-eating, or if he’s just always sounded like that and you’re only just now noticing.

“Heard! Thanks, Makki.”

You stick your out tongue at him, and he rolls his eyes at the return of his high school nickname.

A one top is exactly what you needed. Normally, you’d be all for taking bigger tables, but since you weren’t even supposed to work tonight, you’re alright with taking it easy.

“Hey, welcome to—“

When you round the corner of the table, you lock eyes with Matsukawa.

“Hey.”

He gives a short wave, and you briefly panic, ditching the whole specials menu monologue that was readied in your brain.

“Hey.”

You’re proud you didn’t stutter, but it’s not much to pat yourself on the back for considering it was only one word, and ‘Hey’, no less.

“Someone told me you’d be happy for me to take up one of your tables for awhile, and I needed to get out of the house and study so....”

He gestures to his school bag and his laptop with a ‘here I am’.

“And who’s this ‘someone’?”

You glance to the section beside yours, catching Hanamaki’s gaze. He has the audacity to wink before turning to take a table’s order.

“Who else?”

Matsukawa smiles, and you find he looks just as attractive in the restaurant’s warm low light as he did in the neon lights of the bar.

“Well, I’m glad he did then. What can I get for you then, Mattsun?”

“I’ll grab a black coffee. And Matsukawa’s fine, please, only drunk bastards call me Mattsun.”

You laugh at the dig towards Oikawa,

“One black coffee then, Matsukawa. I’ll be right back.”

And black coffee seems so him. He’s probably one of those guys that advocates the natural taste of ground coffee beans, you snort to yourself as you warm the cold ceramic of the mug with hot water. You tend to lean towards more towards lattes and flavored specialty drinks, but you’re not complaining about his tastes. In fact, you’re eager to learn something new about him even if it’s just his coffee preference.

Well, he’ll have to deal with the shit no-name brand your restaurant settles for.

“You’re welcome!”

Hanamaki bursts in the kitchen, nearly dropping half the dirty plates precariously balanced on his arms. He’s obviously referring to the fact that he’s the one who tipped Matsukawa off about tonight.

“Use a tray next time! ...and thank you.”

You blush, shuffling out of the kitchen before Hanamaki can tease you.

Despite Matsukawa’s help camping at one of your tables, it’s still a busy night. So you find yourself flitting between tables and conversation with him.

You also find yourself too chicken to ask for his number, despite the perfect opportunity Hanamaki has orchestrated for you.

“Thanks for coming in again, Matsukawa. You didn’t have to do that.”

You smile nervously, watching him pack away his notebook.

“Not a problem, thank you for giving me a place to get some work done.”

He shoulders his bag, and you work up the courage to ask for his number before he goes.

The way he towers over you, looking so handsome with that cool expression makes you think twice though, and you find yourself far too intimidated to make the first move.

“Have a good night, don’t work yourself too hard.”

He waves, and you bite back the question that’s been weighing at your mind the past hour or so.

“You too!”

You spin around as soon as he’s out of sight, hands pressed to your face. How could you let that opportunity pass you by?!

Aughh!!

“Wow, Hanamaki isn’t the only one getting numbers on the napkins now, huh?”

One of your coworkers snickers, plucking said napkin off of a table.

You peer up to see her by... wait. That’s your table. That’s the table Matsukawa was sitting at. Holy shit.

“Holy shit!”

You run over, practically snatching the napkin out of her hand.

“He seemed kind of scary, but in a handsome kind of way. Lucky girl, nice!”

She pats you roughly on the back as a smile overtakes your features.

Matsukawa actually left his number for you.

You manage to rush to the back storage room to squeal out your joy, before you could startle any customers with your excitement.

Carefully, you tuck it into your book so not to lose it.

Thank you Hanamaki...!

You fell into a relationship with Matsukawa with ease, as if it were the most natural thing for you.

Late night texts turned into prolonged phone calls, which turned to hanging out in person, and those hangouts turned into dates. Eventually, you and Matsukawa found yourself in a comfortable relationship.

Matsukawa went from a stranger you met at a bar to your boyfriend of two years and roommate.

You’d finished your degree, and quit the job at the restaurant for a job at as a graphic designer.

Matsukawa ended up dropping school to help run his father’s funeral home business, eventually he’d take over entirely. It wasn’t exactly what he’d intended, considering he was studying sports medicine. In the end, a career is a career, and it’s honest work.

He’d been mildly upset at the prospect of it, but you’d convinced him it was admirable of him to help with the business, and you’d support him regardless.

“You’re too good to me.”

He kisses along your neck, and you giggle at the feather light touches tracing up to your jawline.

“What are you talking about? If anything, I could do more for you.”

You blush, preening at the attention. He shifts your weight onto his lap, and you wrap your arms around him to balance yourself.

“Exactly, you’re being so modest. Too good for a good-for-nothing like me.”

He seals your lips with a warm kiss before you can complain, and you let him get away with it.

“Hush, you’re perfectly perfect. Come on. Let’s grab coffee at the cafe.”

You stroke his cheek gently, before stealing an extra kiss from him. And two more for good measure.

Despite the plan you tried to initiate, you wind up tangled in the sheets. Lips meeting lips and skin, lingering longer with every new kiss.

He whines in complaint when you finally pull back to ready for your outing. You smile at the cute noise, though you can’t get the conversation from earlier out of your head. Pulling out a new set of clothes, you eye him carefully.

Matsukawa’s been awfully self deprecating lately. He’s always had a dry, witty humor, but the self deprecation has been leaning more towards critical than humorous these days.

You think maybe showering him with a more words of affirmation and affection will do him some good, especially some coffee from the his favorite cafe.

You grab his hand, threading his fingers with yours before walking hand in hand to the cafe near by.

“You know I love you right? So much.”

You swing your hand with his, peering up at him with all the feelings of love and care you can muster, and he returns your words with a soft smile.

“I know.”

He strokes the back of your hand with his thumb.

For a moment, you thought he might’ve been improving. But his mood is quick to drop at any given moment, dipping far more often than it rises.

The worry you felt initially don’t even compare to the concerns you have now.

You can tell he tried to brush it off to start, remembering an incident awhile back.

“Hey, Issei.”

You put away the leftovers from an awfully quiet dinner.

“Hmm?”

He doesn’t bother to glance up from his work book, overviewing a client’s paperwork.

“Are you alright?”

You can’t think of a better way to ask, so you settle for the vague question.

“Yeah, I’m great.”

You bite your cheek, at the comment. Nothing was particularly out of the ordinary today, you haven’t had a fight or anything, and as far as you could tell his work has been tiresome but relatively normal. You know for a fact he’s not ‘great’.

“You just seem... off, lately. Is something wrong?”

You press on the matter, you don’t want to keep prolonging it.

“I work with dead people and sad people all the time, sorry I’m not exactly feeling stoked.”

He sighs, closing his work book and you open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out.

“Issei,”

You warn after a beat of silence. You know it bothered him to start, but he’d grown accustomed to the field quickly and adapted well to handling clients experiencing grief. He’d even confided in you once it gave him fulfillment helping people overcome their heartache.

“What, is it depressing to be around me?”

There’s that self deprecation, rearing it’s head back in.

“What?”

You’re shocked he’d even imply it, you’ve never felt that way. You were a little disappointed he hadn’t been as affectionate as he used to, but you never held it against him. You’ve been worried about his mental health these days, but you never felt depressed to be in his company.

“You can say it. I won’t blame you.”

He runs a hand through his dark locks, exhaustion etched across his features.

“We talked about this Issei! I love you, and I support you. I’m not ashamed of what you do for a living, or who you are.”

You cry out, knowing full well what he’s getting at. In the past, he’s commented on such things in passing. That he’s a guy with a scary face, and someone as sweet and cheery as you looks out of place with him. That your boyfriend is a funeral worker, and it must be so awkward for you to deal with.

The comments had always been nonchalant, and you were sure to shut them down, but you can see now it’s always been at the back of his mind.

“I know, I know. I just keep thinking you’d be happier with someone else.”

He mutters, eyes shifting away from your hard stare.

You sigh softly, closing the distance between you two and wrapping your arms around him. For once, you’re taller than him due to his seated position. You press your nose to his hair, and he tucks his face into the junction between your neck and shoulder.

“If I cared about petty things like that, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Issei, I love you.”

You’re sure to repeat it again, and you��ll do it as many times as you need to,

“I love you, I love you.”

You press your lips to his head, holding him tight. You feel his hands trail up your sides to lie tightly around your waist.

“Fuck. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

His face stays pressed to your shoulder, and you rub his back comfortingly.

“Don’t, it’s okay. I love you.”

You won’t even hold it against him if he can’t say it back.

And you wished that was a sign for better, but it was a steady decline from there.

You never ended up talking about the incident, and he always brushed off your concerns, quick to change the topic. You held your tongue most days, not wanting to put any pressure on him.

But you just wanted to understand what he was going through. You wanted to help him, support him, like you said you’d always do.

“Can we talk?”

You know it’s a phrase anyone in a relationship dreads hearing, but it’s the most straightforward way to convey how serious you are on the matter.

“...”

He doesn’t give a response, but he takes a seat at the edge of the bed to give you his attention.

“If you aren’t happy, I want you to be honest with me.”

Matsukawa narrows his eyes, a wash of anxiety overtaking him. His hands fidget, shaking as they clutch at his knees. Was this your way of trying to tell him that you were unhappy with your relationship?

“I’m not happy. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

When the words reach your ears, you bite your lip. Hesitating briefly, you stride towards the bed to sit beside him. You rest your palm overtop his shaking hand, nervously running your thumb along the edge of his knuckles.

“Of course I don’t want to hear that. But I’m glad you’re being honest, I just want to know why you’re hurting.”

“I don’t think this relationship is working out.”

That was the last thing you expected to hear. Your whole body freezes and your eyes widen, unsure how to respond. It feels like someone’s dumped a bucket of ice down your back, and your lucky your sitting or your legs would’ve given out then and there.

“It’s not what it used to be.”

“I-Issei, come on. I know you don’t mean that—“

“We should end things.”

“Why?”

You don’t know the cause for all this turmoil. Your relationship had been fine, almost perfect. Hanamaki had made jokes about the two of you getting married even. You always smacked him for teasing you, but each time you hoped that would be the outcome of your relationship with Matsukawa.

You saw the signs of depression appearing day by day in Matsukawa, but you didn’t think confronting it would lead to this. We’re you wrong? Had you misinterpreted everything completely? Was he bored of this? We’re you really just that bad of a girlfriend?

The intrusive thoughts start to snowball out of control, and you look up to him with watery eyes for a sign of a joke. A tell that he doesn’t mean it. But his face is neutral, and the only thing you can see is him contemplating his next words.

“I cheated on you.”

The tears drip down your cheeks without your permission, and you pull your shaking hand from his to wipe them away.

You think about how he’d always be the one to do it for you, but you quickly dismiss the thought before you have more reasons to cry.

“You’re lying.”

He has to be. He’s not that person. He wouldn’t have the time, he wouldn’t have the lack of care, the lack of composure, he loves you—

“I’m not.”

He shuts you down immediately.

“Then how come I don’t believe you?”

“You’re in denial, it’s the truth. I’m sorry. It was when me and Hanamaki went out for drinks last month. He left early, I stuck around. I met someone. I drank too much, I wasn’t happy with our relationship, I couldn’t help it.”

That night he’d stayed the night at Hanamaki’s, he’d told you himself. Hanamaki had made jokes about it on one occasion. Was that a cover up? Is that the real reason Matsukawa has barely touched you in the past month or so? You can’t believe it. You refuse to. Matsukawa wouldn’t do that to you.

His eyes are trained on yours, but there’s no emotion behind them.

“What ever self destructing thing you’re trying to pull, knock it off.”

“I’m being serious, stop looking for excuses!”

He’s raising his voice now, and you’re practically shaking at this point.

“I’m not! I know you, and you wouldn’t do that! You’re always looking for ways to put yourself down. You need to stop trying to destroy everything good for yourself because you don’t think you deserve it!”

You wish you could’ve told him calmly, gently, like he deserved, but you’re so infuriated and confused you can’t control the way the words spill out in anger.

He clicks his tongue, averting his dark eyes from your heavy stare.

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe it. Maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought, I fucked up, it happened.”

“But why?”

You can’t believe you’re even entertaining the blatant lie, but the more he affirms it the more you feel your confidence slipping away.

“Because I don’t love you anymore!”

His own words rattle in his brain, stinging and heavy in his chest. He knows he doesn’t deserve to feel that pain when he’s the one intentionally hurting you.

‘I lied, I’m sorry, I love you’

He wants to take it back immediately, but he forces down the words, keeps his face stern. Why is he doing this?

Your eyes well up with more tears, and his hands ache and itch to reach up and brush them away, tell you that you were right. Caress your face and kiss you softly. That he’s just fucked up, that he just wants the best for you.

You deserved better than him, and this was the only way he knew how to make you leave him.

The tears spill down your cheeks, dripping from your chin and onto your knees. You tell him to quit the act already, and he presses his forehead against yours and screws his eyes shut. It takes everything he has to maintain it.

“I’m sorry.”

He stands, and his heart aches more when you try to pull him back in.

“Issei...”

Your voice is rough, almost a whisper and he clenches his jaw and forces himself to look away.

“I’m gonna crash at Hanamaki’s. I’ll get my things in the morning.”

Before you can say anything else, he’s closing the bedroom door and grabbing his keys.

He quickly toes on a pair of slides and shuffles out the door, but not before he hears the broken sobs coming from the bedroom you shared.

He grits his teeth, biting back the tears.

He almost expected you to chase him out and grab him by the hand, hug his back, anything, something.

But why would you? He’s such a piece of shit for even thinking that, not after how he lied, the hurtful things he said.

For Matsukawa, this only proves he was right to think he wasn’t good for you.

He waits til he’s in his car to lean his head back, willing the tears away. He doesn’t deserve to cry, he repeats to himself, but they’re falling regardless.

“So are you gonna tell me why you came to my door step looking like shit, or am I gonna have to keep sitting here awkwardly pitying you?”

Hanamaki cuts straight to the bullshit, but to his credit he lasted a solid five minutes without saying anything.

Hanamaki lets out a long sigh at the continued silence,

“Fine. You can crash here as long as you need to, but at least tell me if you need anything.”

Matsukawa nods his thanks to him, as Hanamaki shuffles the room. Laying back on the couch, he rests his arms across his eyes and attempts to sleep, but it’s all in vain.

When he went back to your apartment, you hadn’t been around. Simultaneously to his relief and disappointment. As much as he wanted to see your face, it was for the best.

For longer than he’d intended, he found himself laying back in the bed you shared. Your scent fills his nose, and the familiar sheets give more comfort than the couch he’d been crashing on before. The comfort doesn’t last long, considering you’re not laying beside him like he’d gotten so used to.

He can almost hear the words of affirmation in your soft voice, affectionately whispered against the shell of his ear. The light kisses pressed to his lips, his cheeks, nose, brows, eyes as you both laugh in each other’s arms.

He desperately wants to call you, or for you to come back home so he can tell you to forget what he said.

He forces himself out of bed with a sigh, slinging the bag he packed over his shoulder.

The crisp air outside fills his nose, and the warm sun beats against his skin, but the pleasant weather only serves to make him miss your scent and warmth instead.

Hanamaki’s ‘As long as you need to’ turned out to be a week so far.

Work had been hell for him. His father scolded him for acting more depressed than the guests coming in, and the comment alone made him feel like shit for treating his breakup like a loss of life.

Matsukawa finds his feet carrying him to the cafe the two of you frequented. A part of him desperately craving the coffee, but most of him wondered if he’d run into you.

A stupid wish really, what could he possibly even say to you? Why would you want to see him?

“Coffee, black please.”

The barista gives him a expression that reads faux apology,

“Sorry, we didn’t get any in today unfortunately. Can we offer you something else?”

He settles for tea instead. He’d normally feel disappointed and whine about it you, the coffee here is his favorite after all. He can’t feel bothered to at the moment.

A notification sounds from his phone, and he checks without thinking.

‘I miss you’

His grip around his tea tightens, it’s from you.

He locks his phone and pockets it before he can do something dumb like respond with an ‘I miss you too’.

Pitching his nearly full tea, he strides out of the cafe. He heads back to Hanamaki’s apartment, knowing full well he’ll be around since he’s not at the restaurant anymore.

For the most part, Matsukawa tried to stay out of his hair, staying longer hours at the funeral home or eating out. Sometimes just walking or driving around to stay out, feeling sorry for himself. He’s grateful for Hanamaki’s kindness, and didn’t want to burden him anymore than he had been.

But right now he really wanted to see his best friend.

“We broke up.”

Matsukawa finally decides to enlighten him, and Hanamaki doesn’t even try to hide the disbelief from his features.

“Ahh. She wouldn’t talk to me much when I messaged her. I thought you might have had a big fight or something, but breaking up?”

He gives Matsukawa an apologetic look, but he can tell that he’s still skeptical.

Is it really so hard to believe that you could have better than him?

“I told her I cheated on her.”

At that, Hanamaki is quick to switch gears. He grabs Matsukawa by the shirt, nails scratching through the fabric into his chest, but he can’t feel bothered to care about the sting.

He returns his best friend’s manic glare with an indifferent stare.

“You what?! Matsukawa, are you fucking kidding me, how could you do that to her? Are you that much of a piece of shit you’d throw away the best thing that ever happened to you?”

The words hit home, and Matsukawa averts his gaze, not sure he can handle the anger bleeding out of his friend.

He berates himself for his cowardice, for not being able to withstand it when he deserved the harsh words that Hanamaki’s right to dole out.

He’s right, you were the best thing that ever happened to him. But how could he be the best thing that ever happened to you? He’s pathetic, he’s depressing to be around, he’s got an intimidating face, he quit school to work at a funeral home for god’s sake.

“I didn’t, I lied.”

Hanamaki’s sour expression contorts to a baffled one,

“Huh?”

“It was the only way she would leave me.”

Hanamaki’s grip loosens from his tee, and Matsukawa presses his hands to his face.

“Why would you do that?”

Matsukawa doesn’t respond, rubbing his palms against his already red rimmed eyes.

“Matsukawa... talk to me, man.”

His hands drop between his knees and he glances back up to catch Hanamaki’s worried expression.

“What if I’m someone I don’t want around?”

Matsukawa voices the thoughts that have been plaguing his mind for months, the words sounding so familiar to his ears despite never having said them out loud.

Hanamaki’s lips draw into a thin line, unsure what to say to his friend.

“If I can’t even stand myself, how could she be around me?”

“Matsu—“

He cuts off Hanamaki, ignoring his terse tone and stern expression,

“What if I’m someone she won’t talk about?”

His breathing starts to become more labored, and it feels like the walls are closing in on him, he can’t meet Hanamaki in the eye. His chest tightens even more, and he didn’t think that were possible.

“It’s what I wanted, I know that, I was a selfish asshole for keeping her stuck with me. I pushed her away because of it, and I get the feeling that she’ll never need me again,”

He’s almost in a full blown panic attack, his palms are shaking and Hanamaki tries to reach out to him, but he flinches away. Hanamaki is at a loss for words and what to do, he’s never seen his friend like this before. He’s been always cool and composed, never one to wear his heart on his sleeve.

“And I don’t know what I’ll do after that. I miss her too—”

“You idiot!”

Hanamaki sighs, flopping onto the couch beside him.

Matsukawa quiets after Hanamaki’s outburst, lightly panting after his rambling, not used to talking so fast and much in a short span of time.

“Just be honest, tell her how you feel.”

A/N:

Don’t hate me for that guys! Look forward to the next part, I promise I’ll make it better 😭

Leave your thoughts, I’d love to hear them! ¯\_(ツ)

[Masterlist] [part 2]

[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 42

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Infuenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother,  but who is really suprised, Blatent Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 42: Lies and Pleasure

You wanted to break the tension in the shuttle, “you look nice.”

Kylo looked down at his suit, “It was Hux’s recommendation, to not draw too much attention to who I am, but that’s out the door now.” He was most certainly angry with you now.

“Well I like it, we look like a pair now.” You tried to defuse the situation. He did look good.

“Would you like to visit them today or tomorrow?”

“Who?”

“Your friends. You said you wanted to see them before we go. So that is either today or tomorrow.” There was a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Why don’t we visit them today? I have a feeling you don’t want to ruin both days do you?”

“Ruin both days,” he asked rather annoyedly.

“I thought you really didn’t like people. So get it over with now and tomorrow might be a better day.”

He scoffed, “It will be a better day if you cooperate.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. Not knowing how to respond. You then heard him give orders to the pilot to change courses to Toronto and to Mitaka to let your friends know you were on your way. Other than that you sat in relative silence.

A tear slipped down your cheek. You tried to hold back your emotions, but you were failing miserably.

A gloved hand came to your cheek and a pair of lips to your ear, “don’t cry you don’t want that to be the last image they have of you do you?”

You sniffled, “this will be the last time I get to see them?”

“Until you are empress, yes.” The hand carded itself through your hair. As much as you hated it it was comforting and you leaned into him as best as you could. His Force hold on you was no longer there.

A few minutes later the shuttle landed and the exit ramp lowered. You felt the Force holding you down once more as you were being unbuckled by him. It made you feel like a child, what once was rather endearing and protective felt controlling and possessive. Once unbuckled he took your arm in his and you could feel the heavy air of the Force keeping you with him. He wasn’t going to let you run. Not this time.

You exited together. The others following behind you, you were at Carter’s place. Both Carter and Hayden had larger apartments than you did, but Carter’s was always the fanciest one. Why you all always spent time in your tiny apartment was something you would never understand.

You all crammed into the elevator, Kylo’s grip on you never letting up. You got to Carter’s floor and you walked down the hall to their door. Kylo knocked hard.

Carter opened the door and their eyes were as wide as dinner plates, “Y/N? Why don’t you all come in?”

You did, Kylo maneuvered you through the door and you were greeted by an equally wide-eyed Hayden.

You all sat around Carter’s living room. The tension in the air was something you could choke on.

Carter was the first to speak, “are you going to introduce us Y/N?”

You turned your head to look at Kylo, whose eyes were burning into your’s, “Go on, tell them who we are.”

You bit your lip before turning back to Carter and Hayden. “This is my match. The redheaded man you see over there as you know is Allegiant General Hux. The silver armored stormtrooper is Captain Phasma and the officer is Lieutenant Mitaka.”

His voice was low and dark, “tell them who I am.”

You swallowed back, but your mouth was dry. “This is Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.” You swore you could feel the metallic taste of blood in your mouth you were chewing on your lip so hard.

Both of them, Carter and Hayden dropped to their knees and surprised you. Their voices in robotic unison, “Supreme Leader forgive us for our ignorance.”

Kylo’s head lifted with a sense of superiority, “you are forgiven.”

They remained on their knees with their eyes focused on the ground in front of them. You were in shock at what you were witnessing.

“Why are they doing this,” you asked.

“This is the effectiveness of the education, or enlightenment that they have received,” replied Hux.

Before you could verbalize the disgust you were feeling Kylo was hauling you up and out the apartment. You tried to break free and to try to reason with your friends, but his actual grip and the grip of the Force tightened around you. You were in his snares and he was not letting you go.

He practically slammed you down into the seat on the shuttle. When he buckled you this time he tightened the straps so they dug into you unpleasantly.

Your voice was small, “why are you doing this?”

“Why does anyone do anything? Power. Order. Control. I tried to warn you, as did the general. Well, you are now out of warnings.”

And just like that, everything about your previous life came crashing down. Your fairytale was no more. You were to be his songbird and there was nothing you could do about it. You were pretty sure all of the sweet things he had ever said to you were lies.

He wasn’t a man. He was a monster.

His head snapped to look at you, a hand wrapped itself around your throat and yanked your head harshly to look at him. “DON’T YOU EVER THINK OF CALLING ME THAT AGAIN.”

If you thought he yelled at you before it was nothing compared to what just happened. Or was it a scream, you didn’t know. You could see out of the corner of your eye that the general and the lieutenant looked terrified. Captain Phasma’s body language told you that she was too. At the same time, the ship seemed to buckle with turbulence that you were sure never happened before now.

You were terrified. Tears fell down your face. He was in your mind and there was nothing you could do about it. No, you were still in a fairytale, but one that you were sure that didn’t have a happy ending. You wanted whoever was writing this story to stop the torment. Your heart couldn’t handle it.

The shuttle docked on the ship. The exit ramp lowered and Kylo ordered, “get out,” to everyone on board. Even the pilot and copilot left. He unbuckled himself and walked over to the wall and the ramp closed. You were now alone with him, strapped into your stupid seat.

He walked over to you and crouched down in front of you. His eyes drill into your’s, into your skull. You could no longer tell what his eyes were hiding. They seemed to once be windows into his subconscious, into his soul, now they were vault doors and you didn’t have the combination anymore.

You watched as his breathing sped up, in what you guessed was anger. “I will give you what I promised, but only if you cooperate. You will say, do and think as I tell you to. If you want to be an empress, my empress, you will have to earn it. You will have to show me that you are worthy of it. Because I am not afraid of, doing as you said, keeping you like a songbird. Locked in a cage and only taken out when I want you to sing. I am not afraid of keeping you locked away, because you are mine and no one else’s. Do you understand?”

The words died on your lips as you tried to say “yes.”

He spoke louder this time, “Do you understand?”

It took all of your energy, “yes.”

“Good.” His hand went to your throat once more, this time it was gentler. “Now Kitten, I do not like having to do any of this. But you need to understand who is in charge. You only have power because I have given it to you. But I believe with the right training and guidance you will eventually be able to take power for yourself.”

His hand shifted up to your face and caressed your cheek, his bare thumb rubbing over your lips, “Now Kitten I promised you that I would wait, but that doesn’t mean I won’t play with you before then.” You heard the clicks of the buckles come undone. You felt his arms beneath you as he proceeded to bridal carry you out of the shuttle and back to your chambers.

He carried you up the steps and threw you down onto his bed before crawling on top of you. His lips came crashing down on top of yours. His teeth bit into your lower lip causing you to gasp, he took this as an opportunity to practically shove his tongue down your throat. You heard him laugh at this. One of his hands ran along the inside of your leg and shoved it to the side, he forced himself between your legs. He bucked into you. This made you gasp even more as you struggled to break the kiss. His lips started to trail down your body, he nipped at your collar bone.

You struggled to find the words, “I thought you said we would wait?” A small part of your mind was screaming out to have him stop, but the rest of you was entranced by his spell.

“We will, but like I said I want to play with you,” you could hear him chuckle in response. His lips found their way up to your ear and he placed a kiss there. “I will follow your wish only if you obey me. But in the meantime, you will let me do as I wish.”

His hands pinned yours above you, but it only took one of his to hold you down. His hand trailed down your body and came to rest on your breast before giving it a rather rough squeeze. You squirmed, which caused him to buck his hips again, but this time he also ground into you. His lips encapsulated yours once more. His hand kneading into your breast, his fingers flexing and splaying around you.

The hand that was holding yours above your head let go and trailed itself down your side and down your thigh before pushing your skirt up. Your hands clutched his back and his hair out of excitement and fear. His hand felt your wetness through your underwear, you heard him chuckle again. “Are you sure you want to wait, Kitten?”  

The small bit of rational brain that you had left screamed, “yes,” but it came out broken.

He chuckled again, “have it your way then.” He then proceeded to grind his fully clothed crotch into your barely covered wetness.

You could feel what you were doing to him. He sped up and both of his hands squeezed your breasts, which caused you to buck up into him. He moaned into your ear. His grinding turned into dry humping. He asked once more, “Are you sure you want to wait,” this time it came out as more of a heated groan.

Your brain was short-circuiting, the heat, and the pleasure you were feeling were almost taking over, almost. “Please,” it came out all breathy.

You could feel his excitement. “Please what Kitten?”

“Wait.”

You could feel his disappointment as he bucked harder against you. “As you wish.” His teeth were marking your skin now. Sucking and biting and kissing. His lips came up to yours and it felt as if he was trying to get you to swallow his tongue. You could hear him repeat, “Mine, mine, mine,” into your mouth. One of his hands found its way to your clothed wetness once more and began rubbing circles into you. Your brain was going haywire.

You moaned into his mouth as your orgasm eventually came crashing in. Your eyes fluttered and your breath hitched. He sped up his hand until your wave was over. He moaned into your mouth before he broke your kiss. He flipped you both so he was spooning you on your side, he continued to kiss up and down your neck while grinding into your ass. One of his hands rested grabbing your breast while the other was against your clothed heat. You stayed like that until you drifted off into sleep. When you finally awoke you could smell that he had taken a shower.

“Did you relieve yourself,” you asked.

“Yes, I promised to wait, but I did not promise to keep either of us from orgasming. I helped you and I needed to help myself. Would you like to try that again,” as he asked his index finger followed the line of your fire and your toes curled.

“No, I am good for now.” It took all you had to respond. His lips then found their way up and down your neck.

Eventually, he stopped and hooked his chin over your shoulder. “I need to attend to some things. You will need to come with me. I am not letting you out of my sight for the rest of the day.” He then got up and pulled you up along with him. With your hand in his, he leads you back out into the real world. Into the other parts of your cage.  

[ddixons-angel]

Fated: Season 4

Summary: Gloria Rhee narrowly escapes Atlanta with her brother as the outbreak reaches the city. Luckily, they find a camp outside the city and together, they fend through encounters with the living and undead.

Starts a little before Season 1 and then follows the main storyline of the show.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Glenn Sister!OC

Warnings: major TWD spoilers, language, violence (the typical TWD stuff)

A/N: I’m gonna sound like such a broken record in my author notes for each chapter of at least half of Season 4, but I am really nervous about these next few chapters >~< I don’t know why, I just feel really insecure about the original idea that happens next.. sighhh please let me know what you think!!

Chapter 3

Letting the dagger fall out of her hands, Gloria runs over to Daryl as he falls from the gunshot. She kneels down next to him, letting him lean back against her. Daryl groans at the pain in his shoulder and Gloria grabs his bag with the bandages they had scavenged earlier. 

“Here, let me.” Gloria says, her voice soft.

She gently moves the collar of his shirt to the side to inspect the wound, relief flooding through her when she sees that it was only a graze to his shoulder. Gloria starts to patch up his wound when Glenn and Maggie run up to them, holding their rifles with worried expressions.

“Hey, you guys okay?” Maggie asks, a little out of breath.

Daryl nods as Gloria finishes up with his injury, “yeah, we’re okay.”

He gets up from the ground with Gloria holding his arm, she’d also picked up his crossbow, refusing to let him hold the weapon when he was hurt. Glenn picks up Gloria’s dagger she had dropped then looks at his pocket watch.

“It’s gonna be 12 soon, we should get going.” he calls out to the rest of them.

The others nod and pick up their bags and start heading back out to where they had parked the car. Glenn opens the trunk to the car and places his bag inside, waiting for the others to do the same with their bags. He slams the trunk closed then hands Gloria her dagger back but not without shooting her a scolding look. Gloria sighs, knowing exactly what this was about then goes to join Daryl in the back seat of the car. Glenn starts the car and the group is silent on the drive back to the prison. Throughout the ride, Glenn keeps glancing in the rearview mirror to Gloria when he isn’t able to hold it in any longer.

“What the hell was that?” Glenn blurts out in Korean, causing all three of the others to look at him, Maggie and Daryl’s faces full of confusion.

“What?” Gloria rolls her eyes as she replies in Korean, annoyed that he’s choosing to do this now.

“I saw you, you were going to stab yourself! What the hell was that?!” Glenn fumes, getting visibly more angry. 

“What choice did I have? They were going to kill him!” Gloria retorts, referring to Daryl.

Maggie looks back and gives Daryl a ‘what do we do’ look and Daryl shifts and shrugs at her as the siblings keep fighting. It didn’t help that they didn’t know what they were even saying so they couldn’t diffuse the situation either. 

“You were gonna kill yourself then, is that it? What if we didn’t come in time to save you, you could be seriously hurt right now!” Glenn yells as he drives. 

“I knew what I was doing!” Gloria yells back, done with this conversation.

“No you didn’t! You were going to kill yourself to save someone else!” he points out, his face turning red.

“And you would have done the exact same for her!” Gloria calls him out, referring to Maggie, knowing it’s true. 

Glenn grips tightly on the steering wheel, fuming from their argument but says nothing else. Sensing that it was the end of their heated discussion, Maggie reaches out and puts her hand on Glenn’s arm, a soft smile on her face wanting to somehow soothe him without words. Gloria turns her attention to Daryl, he’d been looking out the window while chewing on his thumbnail. She sighs at his habit, knowing he only did it when he felt really uncomfortable. She reaches out to him, taking the hand of the thumb he’d been chewing.

“You okay?” Gloria asks in a hushed whisper.

Daryl nods, looking at her, squeezing her hand in reassurance. Glenn waits for Carl to open the gate to the prison before driving onto the premises, towards the building. Once the car is parked, the four of them get out of the car, Glenn and Gloria glaring at each other. 

“You’re not going on anymore runs.” Glenn tells her in English before popping open the trunk and taking a few bags with him into the building.

Gloria, still annoyed and angry at him, rolls her eyes and grabs the remainder of the bags from the trunk, slamming it down to a hard close before following Glenn into the building. Maggie and Daryl share a look of not knowing what to do before they both follow the siblings into their home. 

Hershel greets Glenn with a smile when he sees him walk into the main area outside the cell block but his smile is replaced with a confused frown when he notices Glenn and now Gloria’s expressions. The two had put the bags on one of the tables, both crossing their arms and looking away from each other. Daryl and Maggie make their way into the room, everyone’s attention drawn to the four who had just walked in. 

“Maggie, what happened?” Hershel asks, turning to his daughter as he knows he wouldn’t be getting a proper answer from either sibling. 

“We ran into some thugs on our run and they tried to steal Gloria and Daryl’s things.” Maggie explains.

The story causes Carol to walk up to the group, “are you all okay?”

Daryl nods but Gloria looks at him, guilt written all over her face, “Daryl... got shot.” 

“What?!” Nina pipes up and rushes over to him, “oh my God, are you okay?”

“‘M fine.” Daryl says, backing away from Nina before she can touch him, “was jus’ a graze.”

“Hershel, can you check on him?” Gloria says and adds before Daryl can protest, “I was an emotional mess when I patched him up, I just want to make sure.” 

Daryl sighs at her words, and Hershel nods, both of them understanding, “come with me, Daryl.”

Hershel starts walking first and Daryl hesitates until he catches Gloria’s eyes, giving in when he sees her eyes welling with tears. He walks past her to follow Hershel, but not before giving her a small hug and a kiss on her forehead. The group had turned the infirmary into an actual doctor’s office rather than having Hershel, Gloria or Caleb, a doctor from Woodbury, check on people in their cells. Carol goes up to Gloria and puts a hand on her shoulder for comfort. Gloria forces a small smile for the older woman, nodding at her. 

“So, how did you guys get caught up with the thugs anyway?” Sasha asks, genuinely curious, leaning on the wall.

“We split up to cover more ground, and they ambushed me and Daryl when we were done raiding a pharmacy.” Gloria says, looking down feeling ashamed of being so careless. 

“Daryl wouldn’t get caught off guard like that, it must have been your fault.” Nina says, glaring and pointing at Gloria, “you distracted him.”

“That’s not how Daryl is!” Carol says, frowning at the other girl.

“Really? Then tell me how on every single run Daryl goes on, he comes back perfectly fine but the one time he goes with Gloria, he gets hurt?” Nina counters Carol’s defense. 

Sasha scoffs at her, crossing her arms, “you wanna know why? Because shit happens. It doesn’t matter if it’s his first time going on a run with or without Gloria.” 

“Why are you so adamant on blaming her, anyway?” Carol takes the chance to call Nina out on her actions.

“Because I know that Daryl isn’t careless or reckless, but I can’t say the same about her!” Nina shouts. 

Her words hit Gloria like a brick. She thinks back to when they were scavenging the pharmacy, Daryl had already tried to warn her about hearing something outside but she just brushed him off. If she had listened, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. 

“She’s right... it was my fault.” Gloria sighs, looking down, not able to face any one of them.

Carol’s eyes soften as she looks at Gloria, “no, it wasn’t.”

“Yes, Carol, it was.” Gloria finally looks up at her, “I... Daryl warned me that he heard something when we were in the pharmacy but I... I didn’t listen...”

Nina hides a smirk as she scoffs, “I don’t think you should go on any more runs, for everyone else’s safety.”

“That’s not for you to decide.” Carol says, eyeing Nina. 

“Glenn already decided that when we got back.” Gloria says in a small voice, making Carol turn her attention to Glenn, looking at him disapprovingly.

“I-I... that’s not what I meant!” Glenn stutters to defend himself. 

Gloria shrugs, trying to play it off, “it doesn’t matter... I should go tend to my shift.” 

Glenn watches helplessly and guiltily as Gloria walks out the building to go to her 'shift' on the fence. They all knew that she didn’t have a shift, when she agreed to go on the run, she’d passed them off to Tyreese. She just wanted to be alone, let out her emotions by killing some walkers. Gloria spends at least an hour killing walkers on the fence when Daryl approaches her. He doesn’t call out to her or anything, he watches for a moment then starts to help her clear out the walkers on the fence. She turns to him when she notices he’s out there with her.

“You shouldn’t be out here, you need to rest.” Gloria holds his forearm, stopping him from moving.

“Told ya, ‘m fine. It’s jus’ a graze anyway, ya saw it.” Daryl says, “‘nd ya shouldn’ be out here either, ya don’ have a shift.”

Gloria sighs and nods, “I know...” 

Daryl places his hand on the one that’s already on his forearm, he hesitates to speak then sighs, “Glenn’s right... I don’ want ya going on runs anymore either.”

There’s a tear at her heart at his words. The realization that Daryl had blamed her for getting hurt weighed heavily on her and there was only one thing she could really do about it. 

“Okay...” Gloria says, looking down and nodding.

Daryl furrows his brows in confusion; acceptance was not one of the reactions he’d expected from her. He expected her to get mad at him like she did with Glenn. He had been dreading an argument with her over the restriction. Her accepting it so easily was not like her, and even though they weren’t yelling at each other, Gloria being so quiet and compliant worried him even more.

“Ya sure you’re okay with not going on runs anymore?” Daryl asks, his thumb caressing her knuckles.

Of course she wasn’t, but she’d caused enough.

“Yeah...” Gloria sighs and forces a smile on her face as she looks up at Daryl, “it’s for the best, right?”

He gently grabs her arm and pulls her towards him, wrapping his arms around her, cradling the back of her head in his hand. Gloria snuggles into his embrace, snaking her arms around his torso. 

“I just want ya safe.” Daryl whispers in her ear.

Gloria just nods, accepting it although she knew he was using her safety as an excuse to comfort her. For the sake of everyone else who went on runs, she wouldn’t go on runs anymore. That’s how she would be able to protect her family, it was the only way she knew she wouldn’t cause any more damage. 

---

Next Chapter

As I said before, I don’t know whether this chapter or the future events will be liked by you guys, maybe it’s the fact that I made Nina such an annoying little shit... lol please let me know what you thought here, all the comments/critique you guys give me help a ton and motivate me to continue posting, so I really have to thank you guys for that! 

Also... should I add ‘annoying OC’ to the warnings for Nina? LOL 

I hope everyone stays safe and healthy, please don’t panic, we will get through this!

And as always, I would really appreciate any comments left for me! I’ll be replying to any comments in a new post because this is a sideblog!

Taglist (please let me know if you’d list to be added/removed!):

@twdeadfanfic​ | @fandomfanatic97​ | @crossbowking​ | @watchmeaspire​ | @spidergirla5​ | @kamieshep​ | @letsstarsfalling​ | @molethemollie​ | @alicewinchester99​ | @neilox​ | @womanup22​ | @jodiereedus22​ | @theonlyone-meeeee​ | @theunofficialduke​ | @inlovewdxx​ | @delightfullykrispypeach​

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Multi-Dimensional pt. 2

The Company x Reader

Trigger warning: reference to past domestic/animal abuse

Really angsty but funny at the beginning.

@barbar126���

So when you finished your little '10 minutes alone in your house' test, you were actually pleasantly surprised to see everyone sitting around your living room and enjoying their tea and food without a fuss. They hadn't even taken their weapons back, and nothing was broken either. 

After that, you realized that things were probably going to go well and you can afford relax a bit. Plus... free labor. 

Around 5 or so days pass by without much incident (of course showing them how to use the bathroom was awful since they didn't seem to grasp the fact that the water just comes out of the showerhead and they don't need to fill anything... and that the water could actually be warm if they waited for 10 damn seconds).

You made the mistake of not telling the 'dwarf' known as Dwalin to wait while you got everything set up, and when you turned he had already been half-naked. 

Suffice to say, you screamed so loud that a bunch of those 'dwarves' came running over with weapons drawn and everything. 

You're going to have to make a spray bottle and spritz them when they pull out their pointy things like that, but only after you're 100% sure they won't shank you for it. 

The first time they saw your barn full of horses, cows, goats, and some sheep they were excited, and when they saw your aquarium room with all your fish and the terrariums with your snakes and turtle that you pet sit, they were a little more nervous. 

The youngest, who you know to be Ori, had asked if the reptiles would eat them, but you only smiled and said, "Not unless I tell them too." You can't actually make them attack the dwarves, but it's best to keep them on their toes. 

You decided to 'employ' all of them to help you take care of the animals, though you don't really need it, and may I say that the sight of your tiny hamsters, rabbit, and turtle being held in big 'man' hands is probably the cutest thing you've ever seen. 

Yeti has also betrayed you, for he has fallen in love with that blond 'hobbit' known as Bilbo, and will only listen to him. If you had known Yeti would drop everything and have an affair the moment you turned your back, you would've sent them away (not really). The first time Yeti refused to come to you while he was snuggling the small hobbit shattered your heart. The betrayal shot through you like a poison arrow and spread throughout your whole body, leaving nothing in its wake other than sorrow and pain. 

You got called dramatic for that. 

"Fine! I don't need you anyway, Yeti! I've got Copper!" You cried, much to the amusement of your guests. 

To be honest, you act like a total nut job with the sole purpose of bringing some joy into their everyday lives... and to keep them underestimating you in case things go south. 

The quieter Balin seemed to take to your cat Butterscotch immediately, and now you rarely see him without ole Scotch in his lap. Your other two cats Midnight and Mittens were a little less pleased to have so many people around them, but they tolerated the dwarves and eventually got to petting terms with them. 

The brothers Fili and Kili (you keep mixing them up, you're ashamed to admit) seemed to like your rabbit and hamsters the most. After you showed them how to feed the little fluffy boi's and how to open their cages, you often found them walking around holding them in their arms. It's very cute.

Thorin, the leader of this entourage, acts like he doesn't care for any of them, but you saw that bastard feeding Copper scraps under the table when he thought you weren't looking. And, apparently, Mittens kinda likes him which is interesting. 

It's been only 5 days, but you found yourself becoming fond of the lot of them rather quickly, and they to you (though you don't know that).

You have two spare bedrooms with medium-sized beds, the love seat, long couches, and a chair in your living room, and a small couch in your bedroom too. You decided that moving the couch out to one of the other guest bedrooms would be beneficial, but it'll take some time so you were postponing it. 

Now is as good of a time as any, you suppose. 

You had been feeding your fish with Nori and Ori, and when the inspiration to move the couch hit you, you handed them the shaker and said, "Be careful not to overfeed them, otherwise they will explode and I will cry." You make your way to the door and pause, "A lot." 

With that, you leave toward the stairs, and Copper rises from his spot next to Thorin (you feel weird not saying Mr. before) to follow after you. 

"Oh, here's my good little boy!" You kneel down and squish his fluffy face, making over-exaggerated smooching noises as you kiss the top of his head and his snout, "Who's a good boy? Who's my good boy!?" You ask in a baby voice, scratching his back and petting him all over. His tail wags excitedly as you smother him in affection, and it only makes your heart melt, "You would never betray mommy, no you wouldn't! You wouldn't ditch me for a hobbit, would you baby? Oh, I love you." smooch, "so," smooch, "much!" You kiss the top of his head one more time, then stand back up with a bright smile on your face. 

Someone clears their throat behind you, so you turn and see the majority of the intruders standing behind you. Some of them look amused, a few disturbed, and others are actually laughing. 

"What?" You ask indignantly, feeling your face heat up from embarrassment. You forget that there are others in the house who aren't use to your animated way of talking to your babies.

"You have quite an interesting way of speaking with your animals." Mr. Thorin asshole Oakenshield states (he's actually a pretty nice guy). 

You can't even help the violent blush from spreading across your cheeks, "D-Don't talk to me like that!" You exclaim, pouting rather childishly. "Copper! Attack!" You yell, pointing in his general direction.

A few of them stiffen, but Copper just kinda lazily ambles over and sits down in the middle of the dwarves, making you gasp dramatically. There's some more laughter, and while you knew Copper wouldn't actually attack them, it did nothing to ease how flustered you are like you thought it would. 

You throw your arms up in the air in defeat and yell exasperatedly, "Fine! Have fun laughing while I put small animals in your things!" You don't wait around to see how they react and instead walk up the stairs and head to your room to begin moving the couch.

There's some murmuring that you can hear down below. 

"Did we actually offend her?" Someone whispers.

You don't know their voices well enough to decipher who is who, yet, but their conversation actually warms your heart a bit. 

"We didn't, did we? I only found it to be slightly amusing, and cute..." Another voice states. 

"Yeah, it was cute, t-the dog I mean..." 

Ooh, they think you're cute. Nice. 

You decide that you should stop eavesdropping and go ahead and start moving the couch. Or try at least. 

At first, you try pushing it, but the carpet simply doesn't allow for it, so you instead try to pull it, but that doesn't work either. Then, you crouch down and manage to lift it slightly from the ground, and so you, still gripping the gap beneath it, slowly walk back with it a few steps. You only manage to make it about 3 feet before you have to take a breather though. 

You do that 4 more times, and eventually, you make it to the still-open, door. Once you get it there you stop and lean against it, panting quietly from the exertion. 

For about a minute you stand there, and once you've caught your breath somewhat you lean back down and lift it as much as you can again and begin dragging it backward. You make some grunting noises from your effort and breathe out loudly when you drop it 2 feet later, standing up straight since the position is making your back hurt. 

You bury your head in your hands and groan dramatically, "I'm a failureeeee!"

"Are you okay?" Someone says behind you suddenly. 

You turn your head a bit and see one of the brothers, the brown-haired one, Kili you think (or was it Fili?), on the stairs looking at you with furrowed eyebrows, so you drop your hands back to your side. 

"Just peachy. Do you need help with something?" You ask, wiping your hands on your jeans. 

He shakes his head no, then glances at the heavy couch you're trying to move. "No, but it looks like you do." 

You look down at the couch, then back at him and shake your head, "No, no I've got this. I've just gotta bring it across the hall over there." You point towards the end of the catwalk, but your resolve diminishes slightly when you realize just how far it is. Of course, you don't retract your denial since you don't want to look stupid. "All good over here." 

You turn your back to him again and go back to your little system of lifting it slowly, pulling it back a few feet, then dropping it. 

Honestly, it's painful to watch. 

He then asks again, "Are you sure... you do not need help?" 

You shake your head 'no' and don't bother turning or answering verbally this time (definitely not because you're out of breath), instead you just do the same process again and finally pull the damn thing all the way through your door. 

"S-See? I've got it all under control!" You look over at him with a weary and very unconvincing smile. Damn, you don't even believe it yourself. 

"Hey Fili, come here!" He calls suddenly, not acknowledging your assurance that you're all good. 

Oh great, now they're gonna watch you fail together and make fun of you. 

You huff indignantly and turn away, moving to pick it up again and, hopefully, arrive at your destination before you can be embarrassed anymore today. 

Heavy footsteps ascend up the stairs and you groan internally, but continue nonetheless.

"What is it?" You hear him ask Kili (now you've got it), "Oh, uh, what is she doing?" 

You do your best to tune them out and just go about your business. When you drop the couch this next time, though, you kinda just stand there for a moment and wait for your back to stop hurting. 

A voice then pipes up next to you, "Allow us." 

You look down at the blond dwarf with surprise, not having heard him approach, "Um, I don't know if you'll be able to..." Your eyes drift over to Kili (you know that's his name for sure this time) who is at the opposite end of the furniture, and when he lifts it, it goes up much higher than what you managed. 

How is that even possible? They're smaller than you are! In height, at least... Okay, actually maybe it does make sense since, as stated 5 days ago, these bitches are thicc👌.

"Okay." You don't see the point in arguing any further and just step out of the way (plus you hate physical labor), watching as they carry the whole couch to the other room in record time. Now you just feel silly, having so adamantly refused any assistance when the job effort was cut in half in literal seconds. 

After a few moments of just standing there, you follow and go into the room, seeing that they've already placed it in a free space in the room. 

"Is this alright?" Kili asks, looking over at you with a slightly smug expression. 

You just nod dumbly, looking between them and the couch a few times, "I don't...," you pause before you finish that thought, squinting at the couch, "Move it a little to the left." 

They do just that, and when it's done you smile brightly, "Looks good. Thank you." 

Fili opens his mouth to say something, but a loud knock on your door and barking from Copper and Yeti silences him. 

You spin around on your heel and look downstairs frantically at the entrance, seeing a distorted figure through the wavy glass of your front door. Your eyes go wide, and you turn back to the two brothers, "Don't go outside!" 

You then race downstairs, the two following close behind, and wave everyone looking at the door over to you, "Go hide over there," you point to an area out of sight from the front door. You smile and say, "Good boys!" out of habit, but another knock keeps you from getting embarrassed.

You start to run over to the door, but pause and run back to say, "And don't leave this area. I don't know who's here." 

A louder knock resounds throughout your main room, and you yell, "I'm coming! Just give me a moment!" Once they're all hidden away, you make your way over and open the front door. 

Your face falls immediately, "Erick... what are you doing here?" Suddenly all the confidence and joy washes out of you, leaving nothing but a barren wasteland of confusion and dismay.

The man at your doorway, Erick, looks down at you with a blank stare, then down at your dogs. A smile comes to his face and he says, "Hey, Copper! I've missed you, buddy!" 

Copper doesn't go up to him, instead he growls a bit and you feel satisfied about it. Yeti just turns away and goes to where everyone else is hiding, no doubt to look for Bilbo.

Erick steps forward a bit and goes to pet him, but you snap, "Hey! Leave him alone. What do you want?" 

When you ask what he wants, he steps back out onto the patio and glares at Copper briefly before looking back at you, "I just came by to see Copper, is all. He's my dog too you know." 

His words make your blood boil, but you try to keep your cool and instead shake your head, "No, the moment you raised your hand to him he was no longer your dog. And I doubt you made a trip all the way here just to see him. Just tell me what you want so I can get back to my day." 

His fists clench at his sides and you unconsciously flinch but maintain eye contact. "Fine, you're right. I came to take him back home with me."

"What?" You ask incredulously, looking down at Copper's sweet face, then back up at him. "Yeah, no way, he's my fucking dog." 

"Yes way, he was our dog, and being as I bought him for you and paid all his bills before you began this worthless animal sitting shit, I have more of a right to him than you." His voice sounds so smug, and his smirk makes you sick to your stomach

"You only bought him for me because you needed something to make me stick around." You argue, "Why are you doing this now? Why not last week? Or tomorrow? Or literally any other time? Why did you have to come by without even calling me in advance?" 

He crosses his arms and leans forward intimidatingly, purposefully looming just to unnerve you, "Because I want my dog back." 

Oh, you know exactly what he's doing. Copper is precious to you in more ways than one, and after your not so great breakup with this slimy bastard, he looked for every way to piss you off and fuck you over. You can't count on two hands how many times he threatened Copper's well-being just to force you to do something. He thinks that by taking Copper now he can psych you out and make you come back to him. And, well, he probably can, but there's no way you're going to just give Copper to him. 

"Over my dead freaking body." You snap back, crossing your arms much like he did, "I can pay you back for everything in cash, but he's not going anywhere with you." 

"Yes, he is. I've got the receipts to prove it too. Give him to me or I take you to court." 

Oh, this fucker. 

"Then fucking take me to court!" You stand your ground and shake your head, taking a calming breath so you don't explode, "Why can't you just leave us alone? Copper is my dog, I love him so much, and you know that! I'm sorry I broke up with you and it hurt your feelings, but you have to leave him out of this! Isn't there something else I can give you? Like my money?" 

"Well... I suppose I can make this all go away." He suddenly says, a smirk curling upon his lips and he leans down slightly.

You don't dare hope that he's going to say something rational. "How?" 

"Just let me take you out on one more date, I'll show you that I'm not that guy anymore." He attempts a 'sweet' and 'apologetic' smile, but you can see right through him, "I didn't even mean to hit him anyways." Just as you expected. 

You lean back when he gets closer and your nose scrunches up distastefully. "Um, yeah, you didn't mean to hit him because you meant to hit me, or did you forget about that? I'm not going anywhere with you. End of discussion." At this point, you've completely forgotten about the 14 people hiding not 20 feet away. You're just so damn angry you can't even think straight. 

"Then I'm going to take him back home with me. And if he happens to get out and run into the middle of the road... well, my dog door doesn't lock, as you know." 

You recoil at his hateful, disgusting words and feel a spark of emotion shoot through you, "I w-won't let you take him. He's been through enough because of you!" In a way you're expressing your own frustrations through Copper, speaking about him in a way that conveys what you're actually feeling too. "Please, Erick just leave us alone. I can pay you back for the things you got him, that way you haven't lost anything." 

"Except for you." He tries to sound disappointed and regretful, but you know he isn't. He isn't. "You know I love you..." 

For a split second you almost believe him, but you shove that trust away as soon as it appears. It took you a long time to get to where you are today, and you're not about to relapse and start forgiving him again now. "You don't love me, Erick, you love to control me. I left, and that's your fault!"

"If you won't get back with me, then give me Copper and I'll leave you alone." 

Great, an ultimatum. 

Yes, having this prick leave you alone for good would be wonderful, but sending that innocent fluff ball with him is a death sentence. You don't know what he did to him when you weren't home if he did anything at all, but you loathe the thought of Copper being at his mercy (mostly because he has none). 

Copper was the only ray of light in your dark life then. He was your only solace, your beacon of hope, and your only ally when Erick made you drive everyone else away. In some ways, you'd first die then part with him. 

"No! I already said I'm not going to give him to you! You only gave him to me so you could use him against me anyways! You don't love him, and you don't love me. You're crazy."

He glares daggers into you but doesn't reply to that. Then steps to the side and whistles, "Copper, come here." 

Copper's ears twitch, but he doesn't move to get up. He's scared. 

When Copper doesn't move Erick begins to step inside, but you get in front of him and glare up at him, "Hey! You can't come in here, Erick!" 

He doesn't move at first, clearly not having expected you to stand up to him physically like that. 

"This doesn't have to be difficult, Y/N. Just give me his leash and we'll be on our way." 

"Over. My. Dead. Body!" You repeat, reaching back to push Copper away a bit and urge him to run off. 

"That can be arranged." He hisses, a dangerous glint gleaming in his eyes.

"Hey, g-get away from me!" You shrink back and start to step away, but he reaches up and grabs your wrists, causing you to physically cringe when his skin meets yours. "D-Don't touch me!" You cry in alarm, hearing some shuffling from the very place you hid your new friends. The new friends that you instructed not to come out. Copper stands up when you start to shout and he barks at Erick, but he only ignores your good little floofer and shakes you a bit.

"You were so much better when you listened!" He snaps, releasing one of your hands to grab your face in a bruising grip.

"Stop!" You yell louder, voice slightly muffled and intended for both him and the no doubt distressed dwarves and hobbit. One of your knees comes up almost on its own, and though it doesn't quite hit it's target, it does hit his stomach. His grip on you loosens, so you wrench your wrist from his grasp and shove him backwards out your door, causing him to land on his butt on the wood deck. 

"Did you really just do that?!" He screams, staggering to his feet with murder in his eyes as he moves to come back inside. "You're gonna fucking wish you-"

He reaches towards you, but you slam the door on his fingers before he can come any closer or finish his threat. A loud cry of pain comes from in front of you, but you slam your door instead of going to look. You turn all the locks quickly and step back from it, tripping over your own feet and falling on your butt much like he did when he starts to bang on your door from the other side. 

"Give me that damn dog, Y/N! I will get a judge involved! I'll sue you for assault and robbery!" 

He continues to scream and break things outside your door, and at some point you wrap Copper up in a tight hug, sniffling softly from a mixture of both relief and fright. 

Erick screams every curse in the book. He screams violent threats against your animals, describing what he's going to do if he ever get's his hands on them, all the ways he's going to hurt you. How he wants you to die, and how he'll kill you if you ever cross paths again.

You don't know how long he goes at it, yelling these hateful and threatening things at you and your poor animals, but eventually, he quiets. With one final kick at your door and exclamation about how he's going to get you for this, he leaves. 

Your heart is beating rapidly in your chest, and you're unable to move for a little bit until Copper's cool nose presses against your cheek gently. 

He's shaking (or maybe that's you), you notice, so you stroke his head gently and mumble, "Hey, it's okay sweetheart... It's okay." You don't know if he can understand you, but your voice seems to calm him regardless. Despite being slightly traumatized, you're actually a little proud of yourself for standing up for yourself and Copper like that. 

More shuffling registers from behind you, but you don't turn to look. You don't want them to see your tears, even if you consider them your friends. People are horrible, and when they see someone like you as you are now they either pity you needlessly, or see someone they can take advantage of. And you're done being taken advantage of.

You just continue to sit there on the ground, hugging Copper's fuzzy head to your chest while you whisper comforting things to him, sniffling occasionally while you wait for your violent trembling to cease. 

A few minutes pass of complete silence, you could probably hear a fly landing on something with how quiet it is. There is nothing you loathe more at this moment then having to face the people behind you, but you stand up anyways. 

"Miss Y/N?" 

Ah, you recognize that voice. It's the hobbit Bilbo, and it sounds like he doesn't know what to say.

You ignore him calling your name and just dance around the topic and try to make a joke out of it by stating, "W-Well that was awkward, wasn't it? I didn't think this is how our day would go." You don't turn to face them, shoulders stiff while you look at Copper's sweet face and try to keep your tears at bay, "I... I don't feel so good all of a sudden. I think I'm going to retire early tonight." Your voice is soft and weak, heavy from crying, and you just feel humiliated all around (especially at the way your voice breaks when you attempt a laugh).

You turn slowly and force a smile, one much too bright and cheery to be paired with your puffy eyes and heart-wrenchingly frail demeanor. "H-Help yourself to my kitchen." 

You cannot stand the expressions on their faces, even the half-deaf one heard everything, so you turn your gaze down to your feet and, without another word, make a bee-line for the stairs and practically run up them with Copper and Butterscotch on your heels. Even Yeti follows after you. "Good night!" You rush out before slamming your bedroom door, avoiding the same 14 pairs of eyes still trained on you. 

If you had taken a little longer to look at them, you would've seen more than pity though. Some of them held anger, some looked sad and empathetic, and some were simply shocked or upset themselves. They've seen nothing but the strong-willed and funny part of you, so seeing that... 

It seems that your distress has affected the mood of this company quite a bit more than you realize. 

[janeyseymour]

Surprise (She Already Knows)

“Do you think you could come down to the diner?” Jenna whispered into the phone.

“Is it alright if I have Lu with me?” Jane asked, quite confused. Usually, Jenna didn’t ask the blonde to come to the diner; she would just show up.

“That’s fine. I’ll pawn her off on Cal. I need to talk to you about something.”

“We’ll be down in a few minutes.” Jane hung up and turned to the little girl sitting at the kitchen table doing homework. 

“Pack up your things love,” the blonde said gently. Lulu looked up at her confused.

“Why?”

“Your mama wants us to go down to the diner.”

“But we’re normally not allowed to go until my homework is finished.”

“I know honey. But mama just called and asked me to bring you down. I think Cal might make you something special?” she tried to convince the girl.

“Okay! Do you think he could make me waffles?”

“Maybe sweetheart. But let’s get going.”

The two made their way to the diner quickly, Jane sending a text informing Jenna that the only way she could get Lulu to pack up her things was bribing her with waffles from Cal. Jenna chuckled at the text before replying that she would have the cook make some for the two of them.

“Mama!” Lulu yelled when she entered the diner.

“Hi honey!” The baker looked frazzled, but when the light of her life came through the door, she plastered a smile on her face. “I think Cal has something for you in the kitchen. Why don’t you go see what it is?”

“Okay!” The little girl ran into the kitchen without hesitation. Jane watched the little girl go as she pranced into the kitchen.

“Jane!” Jenna snapped the blonde out of her daze. 

“What?”

“I’m freaking out.” That got Jane’s attention.

“What’s wrong, love? Did something happen between you and Jim?” 

“Yeah, something did happen between me and Jim.” Jenna put her head in her hands. 

“What happened?”

“A baby,” the diner owner groaned as she pulled a pregnancy test out of her apron.

“That’s wonderful sweetie! Congratulations!”

“It could be, but I don't know! I don’t know if that’s what Jim wants! What if he doesn’t want another child?”

“Didn’t you say he adopted Lulu?”

“Well yeah, but that was then. What if he’s losing interest in me and Lulu, or this new baby thing freaks him out and-”

“I really think you’re overthinking this. That man absolutely worships the ground you and Lu walk on.”

“Maybe you’re right.”

“Trust me on this one. I think you should tell him.” Jane kept her mouth shut about the conversation she and her friend’s husband had a few weeks ago.

“You’re a woman.” Jim pointed at the blonde on one of the rare days he was the first one home to relieve Jane from her duties.

“Very observant of you. I am indeed a woman.” Jane rolled her eyes playfully.

“And you know my wife!”

“I do know Jenna. Once again, nice observation skills buddy,” she snorted.

“No, like... You KNOW her. You guys do that whole ‘girl talk’ thing all the time.”

“Ah, so you’re coming to me for advice. Jenna didn’t tell me you did anything stupid recently,” Jane joked. “What’s up?”

“IwantanotherkidbutIdon’tknowhowJennawillfeelaboutitconsideringshealreadyhasherhandsfullwiththedinerandLuluand-”

“Woah. Jim, take a breath and say it again.” The man took a deep breath before rushing out what he had said even faster this time.

“Slow down.”

“I want another kid, but I don’t know how Jenna will feel about it considering she already has her hands full with the diner and Lulu and-”

“Have you talked to her?”

“Well, no. But, I want to know if she’s said anything to you about wanting another because if she doesn’t, then I don’t want to put any more pressure on her. She’s already got so much going on.”

“She hasn’t said anything to me regarding that either way, so I think that you need to man up and ask her yourself. Although, I do respect you for not wanting to pressure her into that sort of thing.” Jane cringed a bit as she remembered her past. 

As it turned out, Jim was over the moon when Jenna finally decided to tell him she was pregnant.

“Holy shit Jenna! We’re having a baby!” He lifted her up.

“How are we going to tell Lulu?” The baker asked her husband.

“Do you think you could be there when we tell Lu?” Jenna begged her friend.

“Isn’t that kind of a... family thing?”

“You are family.”

“Well I’m honored to be considered family, but I really think that just you and Jim should be there when you tell her,” Jane countered.

“Please?” The brunette looked at her friend with pleading eyes.

“Fine,” the queen relented. 

“Lulu hun, Jane’s here!” Jenna called her daughter as she heard the doorbell ring.

“Janey!” The little one ran to the front door and ripped the door open. “Janey!” She yelled as she flung herself into the former queen’s arms.

“Hi little Lu! Is your mama around?”

“Yeah, Mama’s in the kitchen like usual. Daddy’s in the kitchen too. They told me to play in my bedroom while they made dinner.”

“Oh.” Jane knew what that meant. “Jenna! We’re coming into the kitchen!” She called, hoping and praying the couple would pull away from each other with her warning. 

“Why are you here anyway? Mama and Daddy aren’t working, and that’s when I normally see you,” Lulu noted.

“You’re right sweetheart, but your mama invited me over for dinner.”

“Oh,” Lulu looked confused. Lately, the group had been gathering at the queens’ house. “Why aren’t my other girls here?” Jane grinned. Lulu had grown to be quite fond of all of the queens, Catherine of Aragon included, and had started referring to them as ‘her girls’ not long after their first movie night together.

“I think Mama just wanted a night where she doesn’t have to make three pies because Annie will eat them all.”

“Oh Annie,” Lulu giggled. “She really does love Mama’s pies.” The two entered the kitchen.

“Hey Jane!” Jenna attempted to wipe off the smudged lipstick on her face. Jane shot her a knowing look.

“Dinner’s almost ready. Do you think you could keep Lulu entertained for a few minutes while,” she paused. “While Jim and I finish up, uh, dinner?”

Jane pursed her lips. She knew what ‘finishing up dinner’ meant. “Sick bastards,” she mumbled under her breath. “I suppose so.”

“Thank you.”

“Come on Lu, let’s go color.”

“Do you think if it’s good enough, Mama will let me hang it on the fridge?” She asked as they were walking away.

“Mama is always looking for new pictures to hang on the fridge!” Jenna called to her daughter.

“Janey look!” Lulu held up her drawing proudly.

“Oh honey, that’s lovely!” Jane replied immediately before taking in what the little girl had drawn. It was Jenna, Jim, Lulu, Jane and the other queens, and... a baby?

“Who is the baby in the picture?” Jane asked cautiously.

“My new baby brother or sister!” Lulu explained excitedly. Jane was at a loss for words. Did Jenna already tell her the news?

“Oh?” was all the blonde could get out.

“Mama and Daddy haven’t told me anything, but they aren’t very good at keeping secrets. I think that’s why you’re here. They’re going to tell me tonight. Am I right?”

“I-” Jane stammered out.

“Dinner’s ready!” Jenna called from the dining room. Thank god for dinner. The two made their way into the kitchen quickly, Jane pulling Jenna to the living room.

“Did you tell her?” Jane got to the point.

“No! Why would you think that?”

“She knows.” 

“She- what?” Jenna whisper-shouted.

“She told me she knows. She knows that’s why I’m here tonight. She even drew this.” Jane picked up the drawing from the coffee table. “Told me that ‘Mama and Daddy aren’t very good at keeping secrets,’ and asked me if you were going to tell her tonight.”

“Holy shit.”

“I didn’t know what to say!”

“Lulu Hunterson!” The baker marched herself into the dining room. 

“Yes Mama?” The girl played innocent.

“How do you know?” 

“How do I know what?”

“How does she know what?” Jim looked up from his plate.

“Jim, she knows about the baby,” Jenna explained, rolling her eyes in the process.

“She knows?” Jim’s eyes went wide.

“You and Mama aren’t very good at keeping secrets,” the girl informed her father. 

“Well,” Jane drew out, not quite knowing what to say.

“How do you feel about this hun?” Jenna looked at her daughter.

“So I’m right?” The girl still played innocent.

“Yes hun. Mama’s having another baby, and you’re going to be a big sister.”

“This is the best news ever!” Lulu ran into her mother’s arms. “I hope it’s a girl so I can play with her, and we can bake together, and-” Jenna broke down into tears. “What’s wrong Mama?”

“Nothing baby. These are just happy tears.”

“So, now that I know, can we eat dinner?” Lulu giggled. Her mind was always on food.

“So,” Jane laughed after they had put Lulu to bed that night.

“That couldn’t have gone any better.” Jim wrapped an arm around his wife.

“Thank you for coming over and supporting us, even if we clearly didn’t need it in the first place,” the baker thanked her friend profusely.

“I’ll always do anything for you guys, you know that.”

“Well that’s good to know,” Jenna paused before saying, “Aunt Janey.”

“I- what?” The third queen’s eyes filled with tears.

“Lulu called you that the other day, and with another one on the way, it seems fitting. She actually wanted to ask you if it was okay if she started calling you that, but she was nervous to.”

“I would be honored.” Jane threw her arms around the baker.

[chemiste]

Foresight ~ ch. 1

A/N : hey y’all, this is the very first chapter! please let me know what you think of it, feedback is greatly appreciated :) love Anna

You were so fucking excited for the concert.

Maggie and you had been saving up for a trip to Europe during spring break and were floored to get to go. It also helped that her father had been kind enough to take you girls with him on his company jet since he had a meeting in Germany (CEO of one of the biggest companies had its perks). 

After Maggie and you had parted ways with him, you both spent a few days traveling around Darmstadt when Maggie got a call from her father saying one of his colleagues had gotten concert tickets to a show in Basel for his daughter’s birthday but she wasn’t going to be able to make it and gave them to him for Mags instead.

“Ya dad, what’s up?—no way really? Of course we’ll go! Okay, tell him thank you for us!”

“You got concert tickets.” You stated, after taking a sip of your lemonade you bought from the small German woman that had been selling them at the farmer’s market you both stumbled across.

 Maggie rolled her eyes at you, “I can never surprise you can I?!” You laughed, “Sorry! It’s not like I can help it.” “I know, you’ve got your super psychic abilities that unables me to throw you a surprise birthday party!” She exclaimed, then blew a raspberry as if to prove her disappointment.

You were psychic, sort of. Your parents first noticed it when you would say the delivery line of a joke in sync with the late show host of whatever was playing on the TV. 

At first, they thought you must have heard it beforehand but then it just kept happening during things they knew were new airings. You also were never surprised, ever. Which probably was a bit of a bummer but it’s not like you knew any different. The moment they knew you had some sort of ability was during your middle school’s raffle at a spirit week fundraiser. 

They both watched in awe as you recited the 8 number combination of the winning ticket before it had been drawn.

After that significant event, they took you to a doctor who referred you to a colleague that dealt with psychological abilities. They were the ones to inform your parents you basically just knew things before others could. It couldn’t be classified till you got older and even if you did more tests, it wouldn’t do anything so you’re parents just decided to leave it at that. 

You weren’t conscious of yourself doing it when you were young but as you got older, you could catch yourself thinking about something like it’s going to rain in 8 minutes and 36 seconds or I feel really bad that the little girl just dropped her ice-cream just seconds before it happened.

Well, it was a great party trick to use at uni shindigs.

Maggie smiled as a notification popped up on her phone. “Dad just sent over the concert tickets, let's go to the train station and see if we can get a ride straight to Basel.” 

Fortunately, you both had your suitcases with you since you were originally going further down the road to France and then Switzerland, but oh well, you could just reroute. Both you and Maggie were buzzed to be able to go see a concert on your trip and didn’t hesitate to change your plans.

It was easy to find the station and after a bit of horrible German from Maggie to the ticket booth woman, you both had boarding tickets to Basel. 

“I’m really excited to see Harry Styles, the new album is really good.” You said as you both settled into a train booth and hoisted the suitcases to the overhead compartment. 

“I never told you— oh never mind, yeah I’m pumped! These tickets are for the floor so you bet your ass we’re squishing our way to the front. I’m too damn short to be anywhere else!” You chuckled at her statement. 

You started humming the melody of a song that had been stuck in your head all afternoon and scrolled through some pictures on your phone and decided to post something on Instagram.

The ride was uneventful, plus a great time to book a room on Airbnb and catch a small nap before the concert that night. Maggie and you took a cab from the train station to the lovely home you were spending the night in, or rather the spare guest home that was in the backyard. 

It was a fantastic find since most motels had been already booked for other spring breakers, apparently, the couple that was supposed to stay that night had to cut their trip short cause the man’s sister was going into labor in London. 

Well, that’s what the elderly lady—Martha call me Martha— said as she took you girls to the back house.

While Mags rummaged through her clothes looking for something to wear, you very graciously flopped onto the king bed that was pressed to the back wall.

Her head popped up from the other side of the case, “What are you gonna wear Y/N?” She stood up with a sequin pink top stretched out between her to hands to examine it, “I’m thinking this sparkle top thing I shoved in my bag last minute and my black denim skirt.” 

You let out a whine and sat up, “Yeah that will look nice, I’m thinking I’ll wear my Ramones t-shirt and some high waisted blue jeans—ya know the ones that make my ass look fantastic?”

Your bubbly brunette friend nodded her head excitedly at you and then suggested getting a quick bite to eat before the show. “We’ve got several hours to kill before.” After you got dinner, you headed down the street to a small bakery that you snapped a photo of to post later and got some goodies to snack on.

Maggie moaned as she chewed her Mandelgipfel, and you unwrapped one of the Biberlis you purchased. On the walk back, you thought about the setlist (which you had conveniently pulled up on your phone to see what you’d be watching).

“I’m really excited to hear Carolina, he sings like he’s sex on legs during that song.” She told you as she threw her napkin into the bin as she walked by.

You threw your head back and laughed, Maggie could sure be blunt sometimes, you thought to yourself.

Once back at the AirBnB, it was a bit of a mad dash to get ready. You did your favorite makeup and a good hairdo that would last threw all the headbanger songs. Mags went with space buns and bright pink eyeshadow to “match her sparkle shirt of course!” 

Before you knew it, the pair of you took a cab to the concert center and were into the venue without a hassle.

“Excuse me! So sorry, trying to get through!” Maggie demanded as she pushed through the crowd, her 4th beer in one hand and yours in the other, having a pushy small friend has its perks. Somehow, you don’t really know how (too busy trying to make sure your vodka didn’t spill) she managed to get you both to the very front of the stage.

People in black were on various parts of the stage, clipboards in hand. Some had walkie talkies and would speak into them every so often, you wondered how they could hear a response with such a loud crowd.

Maggie and you finished your drinks and put them into the bin over the barrier that was thankfully just an arms reach away. A few minutes later, the lights went dark and everyone started to cheer. Mags leaned over to you, “I think Mabel is coming on!”

The songs Mabel played were fun and the pair of y’all bounced to the beat of God Is A Dancer, the girl bowed and finally the rubric cube showed above on the large screen.

Screams filled the arena, you hollered while your friend jumped up screaming like a preteen.

And then there he was.

Only Angel was fantastic, and Harry looked amazing. He was decked out in a black sequin jacket and pants that shined with every minuscule movement the man made. It was jaw-dropping, to say the least.

After you jammed to Woman, snapped a picture during Ever Since New York, and rocked with Maggie to Two Ghosts, he took a pause to speak with the crowd.

“‘ello! ’m Harry Styles, nice to meet you.” The crowd erupted in cheers. “It’s lov’ly to see all your beautiful faces t’night, ‘m so glad you could make it t’ the show!”

“This next song is one of my favorites to perform, this is Carolina.”

Maggie nearly had a heart attack when he said the first syllable, and you were having a blast as well. Also good to note that yes, Maggie was right, he does look like walking sex when he performs that song (but I mean, when does he not).

You were mesmerized by the way he owned the stage, like it was his lover. You closed your eyes and rolled your body to the beat.

As the song ended, Harry seemed a little jittery which intrigued you, just a moment ago he seemed so confident. Maybe it’s because he’s nervous to perform his new songs.

Wait, what?

“— and uh, we’ve never play this before, this is a new one, this one’s called Medicine.” Maggie and you looked at each other with wide eyes and screamed with the crowd as well, the vodka was starting to kick in and your mind was floating in bliss.

Here to take my medicine, take my medicine

Treat you like a gentleman

Give me that adrenaline, that adrenaline

Think I'm gonna stick with you

Here to take my medicine, take my medicine

Rest it on your fingertips

Up to your mouth, feeling it out

Feeling it out

You were singing along with the song having a grand o’l time of it, what you didn’t realize is that Maggie was standing next to you, staring at you with the pikachu surprise face. 

She grabbed your shoulder, “You know the lyrics?!” You looked at her with a mild expression, “ya? Don’t you? It’s what I was humming on the train.”

I had a few, got drunk on you and now I'm wasted

And when I sleep I'm gonna dream of how you—

“—TASTED!” You yelled up during the pause. Immediately you knew something was up when Harry’s head snapped over to look right at you. You were the only one to scream that to him. “Oh, fuck! Nobody else knows this do they?!”

If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive

You got the salt and I got me an appetite; now I can taste it

You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy

La la la la la

You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh

You said to Maggie as people around you gave you a funny side-eye. She shook her head and laughed. “It’s no fair that you were jamming to this hours before I was!” It’s whatever, just enjoy the show Y/N!

Tingle running through my blood, fingers to my toes

Tingle running through my bones

The boys and the girls are here

I mess 'round a bit

And I'm okay with it

The boys and girls are here

I'm messing 'round with them

And I'm okay with it

As you went back to dancing, your fuzzy state of mind didn’t seem to register that a certain singer was watching you as you sang every lyric with him.

Oh god, there must have been a leak somewhere, Harry thought as he finished the chorus.

I'm coming down, I figured out I kinda like it

And when I sleep I'm gonna dream of how you—

“—Ride it!” You yelled out subconsciously. Fuck I did it again! You thought. 

Harry couldn’t believe it, there you were, in the front row acting like nothing was strange about you yelling out lyrics he had purposely not sung. He kept going and let his eyes skitter around the crowd of people close to you.

If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive

You got the salt and I got me an appetite; now I can taste it

You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh

La la la la la

You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh

They seem just as confused as I do, so luckily, maybe it’s a fresh leak that can be fixed quickly. God, I’m going to have to get a new laptop aren’t I? How are people so damn good at hacking, Harry thought.

I had a few, got drunk on you and now I'm wasted

The rockstar shook his head and waved his hands during the ending of the lyrics. The lights went out and he took a deep breath. It’ll be fine.

If you go out tonight, I'm going out 'cause I know you're persuasive

You got the salt and I got me an appetite; now I can taste it

You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh

La la la la la

You get me dizzy, oh, you get me dizzy, oh

The song ended and the concert attendees roared with praise of hearing a “supposedly” unreleased song. Maggie pulled you down into a crouch as she saw the singer looking with hawk eyes over the area they stood. 

“Y/N, He totally heard you! And I don’t think he’s too happy about it.” You both slowly stood up to see him walking over to Mitch, his guitarist and whisper something in his ear. The man in question looked over to where you were and it made you die a tiny bit inside. 

Oh god, I really hope I’m not in trouble.

Surprisingly, you hadn’t ever gotten into a bad situation because of your psychic abilities, it always helped most of the time, like when you were able to stop your friend from running around a corner of a building, not knowing a bicyclist was racing down it; Saved her and the cyclist from a bad crash.

 Now, feeling the eyes of multiple, very important people, made you think this was revenge for all the times you did a good deed. Ugh, I thought karma was supposed to reward good deeds! Not punish them!

Everything seemed to return to normal as Harry started Meet Me In The Hallway, then chatting with a couple fans, sang Sweet Creature, a lucky catch of a lavender bra which he quickly threw back out, and then If I Could Fly, everything was fine and dandy.

Till he announced the next song.

“This song is called Anna, and it’s new. 1,2,3,4!”

As the intro played, Harry kept an eye on you. There was no way you could know this one, they had never recorded it in the studio, only practice. If you did, oh god he didn’t even want to think about it.

Don't know where you're laying, just know it's not with me

Don't know what I'd tell you if I passed you on the street

Okay, it seems fine right now, she’s not singing along, just dancing with her friend as she said something to her. He continued.

I don't want your sympathy

But you don't know what you do to me

Oh, Anna

Fuck. There you were, pretending to have an invisible mic in your hand and belting out the lyrics. He watched for a moment as your brown-haired friend grabbed you by the arm and ‘discreetly’ nodded her head up to him. Wait, did you look surprised that you were singing along too?

Every time I see your face

There's only so much I can take

Oh, Anna

“Oh my god I did it again Maggie! He’s gonna call security isn’t he, and then I’ll be taken down to the station and locked away because he’s rich and famous and I’ll never see the light of day again!” You cried.

Don't know how you taste when there's smoke in your perfume

So chew me up and spit me out, nothing left to lose

I don't want your sympathy

But you don't know what you do to me

Oh, Anna

Every time I see your face

There's only so much I can take

Oh, Anna

Mags took hold of your chin and pulled you down to her face, “It’s alright, we’ll figure it out Y/N, plus they might just check online to see if someone had put up a recording beforehand that they didn’t know about and they’ll just think you’re a crazy dedicated fan. I really don’t think Harry Styles is going to lock you up for knowing his songs.”

You let out a large breath and nodded at her. You purposely kept your mouth shut during the next chorus, not wanting his eyes on you for a bad reason again.

I don't want your sympathy

But you don't know what you do to me

Oh, Anna

Every time I see your face

There's only so much I can take

Oh, Anna

Hope you never hear this and know that it's for you

I don't know what I'd tell you if you asked me for the truth

I don't want your sympathy

But you’ll never know what you do to me

Oh, Anna

Every time I see your face

There's only so much I can take

Oh, Anna

Some guy behind you pushed forward, causing you to squish into the barrier. It distracted you enough that when you looked up, Harry Styles and you were having a little duet.

Well I guess it would be nice

If I could touch your body

If I could touch your body

If I could touch your body

If I could touch your body

That’s it, how the FUCK does she know that part? Harry and the band had only decided to add it to the song yesterday for a fun spin-off of a classic. He was starting to freak out inside but oddly enough, it looked like she was too.

I don't want your sympathy

But you’ll never know what you do to me

Oh, Anna

Every time I see your face

There's only so much I can take

Oh, Anna

The song ended and you whipped around to face the crowd rather than him, back still pressed to the barrier. “Maggie I’m so screwed.” She put her hand on your shoulder and whispered to you, “Are there any more surprise songs?” 

You shook your head, “The setlist is altered a bit but that’s it. Wait, why do I know that?!”

You leaned your head back and looked to the ceiling, “Maggie, my psychic-ness isn’t usually this strong? I guess is the word?"—you looked at her—“why is it so easy to just know this stuff because of him?”

The space bunned brunette only shrugged. “Let's just enjoy the rest of the show, ‘kay?” You nodded and turned back around only to be met with an intense stare from the man on stage, but the stare wasn’t mad—more a confused look, which surprised you.

The rest of the show went very well. Maggie nearly burst into tears when she heard his rendition of TWMYB and then Sign Of The Times. His encore was phenomenal and you sang your head off to The Chain and rocked your socks off to Kiwi.

“Thank you eve’yone!” Was the last thing shouted out by the singer as he left the stage, but not without sparing you one last glance. 

“Let’s try and get out of here as fast as possible.” Maggie agreed and hand in hand you weaved your way through the crowd.

Just as you thought you made it home free, a security guard stopped you.

 “Ma’am, if you would please follow me. You’re needed backstage.” 

Your stomach dropped, oh no.

telephone hour for this chapter

ch.2

let me know what you think! 

~ Jess