#once in college i got drunk and sobbed to someone i wasn’t even friends with. like very much so acquaintances/teammates

[bright-and-burning]

for someone who took primarily cs and math courses and added on a math minor for fun i really do try to be like knee deep in poetry and art at all times. like somehow i became the designated art kid in my college friend group just from reading a lot and taking a few art classes

[slashyrogue]

AU-gust Day 7: Science Fantasy

Will had, for as long as he could remember, always heard a voice. 

It began quietly when he was young, almost a whisper. 

Hello. 

His parents never told him about voices, or made him think he should have one, so he didn’t tell them. He answered the voice back, curious about why it was there, and that’s how his relationship with Hannibal began. 

Just one word. 

Hi

The voice, louder now that he’d answered it, soon became a constant companion. Will was excited to finally have someone to talk to, share secrets with, that wouldn’t judge him for what he said. His parents often used him as a buffer for each other, tossing him back and forth till it hurt to even speak at all.

But the voice didn’t. 

The voice listened, was patient, and even did things like help him with his homework. Will’s grades started to steadily improve over the next few years, though his parents' marriage did not.  His mother ended up leaving when he was nine, not even a note on the table, and the divorce happened after but his father never remarried. 

Will didn’t care much though by then, years after the voice had come into his life, and soon he was about to enter high school. 

Which was when the voice started to change. 

It was still there for him, as before, but there were times when he could sense anger. 

Do you think she’s attractive? 

Will frowned. 

She’s pretty, yeah. 

She’s not worthy of you, Will. Not worthy at all. 

I don’t think she likes me, so that doesn’t matter. 

You shouldn’t like her either. 

Will could hardly deal with trying to make friends, the voice drowning out any outside conversation, and by the end of his freshman year he was ‘Weirdo Will’ because of how often he got caught talking to himself. 

His father didn’t notice how sad he was, so he had no one. 

No one but the voice. 

Why are you always here? Is there something wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you, Will. 

Then why do I hear you, why….why does it feel like you’re real? 

Because I am. I’m very real. 

He stared up at his bedroom ceiling in tears. “You’re not real, you’re just…my imaginary friend I never let go of. You…you can’t be real, I’m just crazy.” 

There is nothing wrong with you. 

“Then show me,” he whispered, a tear falling down his cheek, “Show me you’re real. Tell me your name, tell me who you are, come out and touch me. Something, anything.” 

It didn’t. 

So Will did the only thing he could and went to his guidance counselor, Ms. Bloom. He sat down, looked her in the eye, and said three words. 

“I need help.” 

Which was how he learned to ignore the voice. He got put on medication when Ms. Bloom recommended to his father he see a psychiatrist, and learned exercises to ignore intrusive thoughts. 

It was hard. 

So hard. 

Will, please don’t do this. 

Will, you have no idea what you’re doing. Please don’t ignore me. I’ve been waiting for so long. 

Will, please. 

The voice got down to a dull buzz, always there, even when he graduated high school but by then he had grown out of his “weirdo” faze. He’d had several girlfriends, even one boyfriend, and though he was still strange he wasn’t the weird kid. 

He went to college in hopes to become a policeman, and even got on the force by the time he was twenty five. 

Then at twenty six everything changed once again. 

Will got shot on a call - one he was told not even to go on - and got permanently injured. He was taken off the force, and headed home only to more terrible news. 

His father was dead. 

A car accident, it seemed, drunk driving that had him careen right into a telephone pole. So Will went home, buried his father, and sat on his old bed bursting into tears. 

He felt broken. 

He felt so alone. 

Will laid back on his bed, tears wet across his cheeks, and after ten years he closed his eyes and spoke inside his head. 

I need you. 

There was nothing, not a single response, and Will laid on his side aching so badly he could hardly breathe. The pain in his upper leg made him whimper, still fresh even after six weeks, and he let out a sob. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I…I’m so sorry.” 

Will. 

He let out a laugh, sitting up, and the voice seemed like a warm blanket. 

I’m sorry. 

I know, Will. I know. 

My Dad is dead. 

I know, Will. I’m sorry. 

He closed his eyes, letting out a long breath, and laid on his back again. 

Can you show me now? Show me how you’re real? 

The voice was quiet, too quiet, and he feared again he’d be alone forever. 

“I don’t need it,” he said, sitting up again with his legs on the ground, eyes open fast, “I just…” 

Will froze when he felt something touch his leg and looked down to see a skeletal hand wrapped around his ankle. 

Are you scared, Will? 

His heart beat wildly in his chest as he shook his head, and the hand rose up to touch higher. 

No. 

You should not be. I would never hurt you. Never you. 

Will had tears streaming down his face as he whispered two words. 

“I want to see your face.” 

This time the voice that answered back was not in his head. 

“Soon.” 

[whisper-my-serenade]

telephone

in which charlie recieves a rather odd phone call from his good friend neil.

words: 1881

cw: ppl being drunk

Charlie hated the night shift. He knew he needed the job (his parents had cut him off after college, the bastards), and he needed some way to pay rent until he inevitably took a cushy job at the place his dad worked, and he knew he could have it a lot worse, but still. Bartending wasn’t such a bad gig, all considered, he did get to meet quite a few interesting people and it paid good, but being home at 3 am every weekend should have been the result of all those nights being free, not working his ass off in a sweaty bar. And God, had it been hot in there that night. Charlie rolled down the windows of his Mercedes, letting the sweet night air fill the car as he drove the familiar route back to his apartment.

It was summer, and Santeria was blasting through his car’s stereo from his phone. Charlie sang along on occasion, his voice cracking from overuse. He was used to talking over people, sure, but the constant yelling at the bar was making him sound like a ninety year old smoker. And that wasn’t fair, seeing as he was only a twenty-three year old smoker. Well, I swear that I, well I really want to know, ah, baby, what I really want to say, I can't define, that love, make it go, my soul will have to.

Suddenly, the music cut out, replaced by the familiar bouncing opening notes of a Wham! song. Charlie carefully took his eyes off the road to look at the screen of his phone in the cup holder beside him, and, sure enough, “Shakesperry: FaceTime Video”. Neil had not picked his own contact name, obviously, though he had requested his ringtone. Didn’t even pick Careless Whisper, the only good Wham! song.

Charlie pulled off the main road and into his neighborhood before reaching a hand down to swipe the screen, eyes not leaving the road. He heard the woosh of the video starting, and then the moan of Neil’s voice. “Charlieeee!”

“Neil, I’m driving, so…” Charlie stopped to listen to the audio of the call for a minute. Soft sobs were coming through the speakers, muffled by fabric and the phone. “You okay?”

“Yeahhhh,” Neil whined.

Charlie pulled the car into his usual parking spot in front of his building, which was always free since he only went anywhere at night. “What the hell is一okay, I just got home, you’re gonna have to give me a minute.”

Neil sniffled a little, his screen casting a white glow around his mostly dark video. “Okay.”

Charlie dashed up the stairs to his floor, doing his well-practiced work speed walk down to his door and quietly putting the key in the lock (his landlady often complained if he was too loud coming home). Once the door latched and he had flicked the overhead light on, he propped his phone against an empty bottle on his coffee table and flopped himself down on the couch. “Okay, Neil, hit me.” Neil sniffled again and let out a sigh.

“I just一ugh.” His head was buried in his arms, and Charlie could see he was at his desk, the room scarcely illuminated and music too soft to make out bubbling in the background.

“Are you dying? Do you want me to call someone?” Charlie asked sarcastically, his patience already stretched thin from work.

“Nononono, everything’s fine, just一” His voice was slurred and slow.

“Oh God, you’re drunk, aren’t you?” Neil finally lifted his head and nodded. Charlie let out a deep sigh. No emergency, then. Neil had always been a weepy drunk. “Well, get on with it, then. What happened?”

Neil’s teary eyes blinked a few times, mind looking for words. After a few seconds, he slumped back down into his arms, only his fluffy dark hair visible. “I just love him, y’know?”

Charlie furrowed his brows and gave Neil a look he couldn’t see. “Who, Todd?”

“Yeah.”

“Did something happen with you two, or…” Charlie seriously doubted anything happened, mostly because Neil and Todd had learned how to healthily work out their shit in the first years of college, but also because Neil was never stupid enough to get drunk while he was upset. He may have always gotten weepy towards the end, but he at least wanted the first bit to be fun.

“No, he was just一he was just here and we were drinking and…” Neil stumbled through the words, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his face with his hands. “I just love him so much.”

Charlie rolled his eyes. He knew Neil could be sappy, but Jesus. “So you called me drunk at three in the morning just to tell me how much you love your boyfriend. Who you say that to. Constantly.” Charlie was about to placate him with his usual ‘he loves you too’ and hang up so he could go the fuck to bed, but Neil suddenly dropped his hands and leaned forward again, a strange smile on his blotchy face.

“Nonono, you don’t get it. He’s the one! He’s the one, Charlie!” He was clearly holding back tears, rubbing his hands over his eyes again. “He’s just so sweet, and pretty, and一God! I want to spend the rest of my life with him!”

“Oh,” Charlie said quietly.

Charlie didn’t have a lot of good examples of what lifelong love looked like. His parents certainly weren’t good role models, nor were any of his friends’ parents or his numerous aunts and uncles. Charlie had watched his grandmother try to keep the smug grin off her face at her husband's funeral that had been haunting the family ever since she was told she would get both vacation homes. “Life” and “love” were not generally words that went together in his world, unless someone was speaking at their third husband’s wake. Love in general Charlie was not an expert at一body count was a signifier of some sort of prowess, but it was not a romantic statistic.

If anyone was really in love, though, it was Neil and Todd. Charlie had seen Neil pining all through high school, had been the one driving while he screamed Line Without a Hook on deserted country roads in the middle of the night. He’d been the first one to see them emerge from a bedroom at a post-graduation party, lips bitten and red, giggling and blushed. Neil had called him, practically screaming in delight, when he found out they’d be moving to the city together, and the look of pure delight in Todd’s eyes when Neil entered the room was warmly familiar. Charlie was so used to the idea of them being a couple that a world where they weren’t seemed an odd thought, indeed. One that had never even crossed his mind. Of course they would grow old together, how couldn’t they? It was Neil and Todd. They would always come as a pair. Even if it wasn’t said out loud, it was a given. Neil of all people should have known that.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called. I’m a mess, you just got off一”

“No, Neil, it’s fine.” Charlie shook his head and gave a soft smile, fingers absently playing with a coin on the table. “You know he’s absolutely mad about you, right?”

“You think so?”

“Please, a fool could see it. I know he’s not one to say stuff like that, but when you’re next to him一you can just tell.”

Neil giggled a little, wiping his nose with his hand. “God, I’m a fool. I never thought I even could fall this hard for someone.”

Charlie raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I knew you could. You’ve always been a lovesick bastard,” he said in response to Neil’s confused look. Neil leaned back, head craning so Charlie could only see the pale bared skin of his neck. There was a small, fresh pink bruise peeking out of the collar of his shirt, and Charlie let out a laugh. “I see you two have been busy.”

Neil’s head shot up, face glowing red. He laughed heartily, hanging his head down and closing his eyes as his shoulders shook. “Oh, ‘Wanda. I’m sorry, I should let you sleep一”

“You should tell him that. What you just told me. I'm sure the poet in him would love to hear it.”

Neil was quiet for a minute, a content look on his face. “Think I’ll wait till the proposal for that.”

Charlie’s eyes widened. “Oh?”

Neil laughed again, resting his elbows against the desk. “Don’t worry, that’s not in the works. Not yet, anyways.”

“Didn't I tell you the first day you said you liked him that you’d end up married?”

“Yeah, that was during your astrology phase. You fancied yourself a prophet.”

“Hey, Venus told me so, okay?” Charlie feigned offense and soon they were both laughing, voices echoing through the small phone speaker.

There was a minute of silence, which Neil broke. “I’d marry him in a heartbeat.”

“I know you would.”

“You’ll be best man?”

“What if I wanna walk you down the aisle instead, huh?” Neil laughed again, then yawned deeply, stretching his arms out as wide as they could go. Another love bite on his forearm made itself visible. “I think you ought to get some sleep, lover boy.”

“Yeah, yeah, probably.”

Charlie gave him a smirk. “Tell me all about the hangover when you wake.”

“You’re gonna have to get in line, I think I promised Todd I’d call him in the morning.”

“You think?”

“I’m pretty sure I also promised him my firstborn so who knows.”

“Well, it’s gonna be his kid too, so I don’t think that one counts.”

Neil smiled, eyes closed, and crossed his arms. “I’m gonna marry that boy, Charlie.”

“I don’t think anyone else stands a chance compared to you, not with him.”

“Please hang up now or we’re never gonna stop talking.”

Charlie laughed and leaned forward to grab his phone. “Goodnight, Perry. Tell your fiancé I say hi.”

“G’night, Nuwanda,” Neil said sleepily.

Charlie pressed the end call button and got himself ready for bed before curling himself under his duvet. He hummed Santeria to himself for a while as he slowly drifted off, for once thankful he worked late so that Neil’s call could be answered. He’d have to tell this story to Todd sometime, he thought, knowing the other man would find it hilarious. Maybe the next time one of them got drunk or proposed or something.

-

He told it at their wedding, it turned out. He had any number of embarrassing stories to choose about either of them, but there was something satisfying about describing Neil weeping about his love while the current Neil nearly cried with laughter, holding his husband’s hand above the table. Of course they made it, everyone knew they would. Todd turned to kiss Neil’s cheek as the toast closed to raucous applause, and Charlie smiled brightly. If Neil did get weepy drunk tonight (which there was a good chance of), Charlie knew he was in safe hands. He may not have known a lot about love, but he knew those two were made for each other. And Neil knew it, too.

(tags: @inahallucination @crumbly-apple-pie and ofc feel free to ask if u want to be added <3)

[doctorstethoscope]

The Right Chapter 3 || Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Hey gang, I wanted to give y’all another update this week because I know there wasn’t a lot of hotch in the last chapter. This is a long one! 

Read previous chapters here!

wordcount: 3.6k

warnings: canon-typical harassment and violence, swearing

tagging: @the-modernmary @greeneyedblondie44 @angelic-kisses13 @wanniiieeee

It’s closer to the afternoon than the morning when you finally get out of bed the next day. Aaron had set you up in his guest room before going to bed himself, and had dutifully woken you up every two hours. You emerged into the kitchen to see him sitting at the table with his laptop open, surely working even though he was technically out on sick leave. 

“Good morning” he says when he sees you appear in the doorway. “The coffee’s still hot, if you want some. I don’t have any RedBull, though.” 

You rolled your eyes as you crossed the kitchen to make yourself a cup. “Is it still morning? It feels like I must have slept through the whole day.”

“Well, you needed it. Long night.” He tells you, and you let out a little hum in response. “Hey, uh. Your cell phone is on the counter. It was making a lot of noise and I didn’t want it to wake you.” he admits sheepishly. “I didn’t read anything, but Josh’s name popped up a lot.”

You pouted a little. “I guess I did kind of just disappear. I probably owe him an explanation,” you said, crossing the kitchen and picking your phone up.

“You don’t owe him a god damned thing.” Hotch said a little harshly, but you knew his tone wasn’t aimed towards you. 

You powered your phone on-- Hotch must have turned it on after he took it. 13 missed calls and 27 texts, sheesh. Not all of them are from Josh, thankfully. You shoot a quick text back to JJ, Garcia and Emily, who had all individually checked in when you didn’t show up at the office. With a little more trepidation, you opened up your thread with Josh. 

“Where are you?”

“You never came to bed last night.”

“Off fucking the boss man?”

 “Did I catch you before you got down to anything good?”

“Fucking slut.”

“Couldn’t even finish cleaning the carpet before you left.”

“Fucking answer me.”

“Did I bash your skull so hard that you forgot to pack my lunch before you left?”

“This is ridiculous.’

“So you’re just running away?”

“Don’t be such a baby.” 

“You are so in for it when you get home.”

“I should have killed you.”

There’s more, but you’re not sure you can stomach it. You drop your phone to the counter, swallowing back a bit of bile that has risen up from your stomach. Aaron is at your side in an instant. 

“Can I look?” He asked quietly. He’s looking you right in the eye but you feel like you can’t see him at all, like he’s not really there. You must have nodded your head, because he picked up your phone and started scrolling, but you have no way of knowing how you even told your body to do that. After a moment, he sets your phone face down on the counter, and turns to face you, placing a gentle hand on each of your upper arms. “We are going to figure it out, okay? You’re not in this alone, and I’m not going to let you get hurt again. You did the right thing. You got out. And now you have help.” 

 He’s staring into your eyes as he promises to keep you safe, and the dam breaks. All of the emotions that you’ve bottled up for the last ten hours are flooding through you, and you’re sobbing uncontrollably before you have even recognized how upset you really are. Aaron gathers you up in his arms in an instant, and you wrap your arms around him, crying into his old sweatshirt. 

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. Let it all out,” he whispers in a mantra, rubbing your back.

You realize in this moment that Aaron is truly your best friend-- you’d always known that you were closer to him than anyone else in the office, and the same was true for him, with the possible exception of Dave. What you hadn’t realized, is that somewhere along the way, your college friendships, your academy friendships, your girlfriends, had all faded into the background, and Aaron became the person you wanted to tell good news to, the person you drew comfort from, and the person you called when you realized you couldn’t get the blood out of the carpet. The realization surprises you, enough to let you get a few deep breaths in and calm yourself down, untucking from Aaron’s shoulder and dabbing at your eyes with your shirt sleeve.

 “Thank you,” you say through your choked voice, even though it could never be enough.

“How’s your head?” He asked, looking over the top of your head to the clock on the stove to see if it was time for you to have more pain meds.  

“Ah, well, I don’t think the crying really helped.” You shrugged, attempting to bring some levity back to the situation as you picked your phone back up. 

“What are you doing?” Hotch asked, eyeing you and the phone. 

“I’m calling Josh back.” You said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Okay, now I’m sure you hit your head,” he said, swiping the phone out of your hand before you could place a call.

“Hotch--” 

 “Can you at least tell me why you want to do this?” He said, and you can see the concern etched into his face. 

“I’ve got to go back at some point. I’m sure it’ll be easier for him to cool off if I’m not completely ignoring him in the meantime.”

“Go back? What are you talking about?” Aaron asked

“I live there, Hotchner. I can’t avoid him forever. Even if I move--”

“You’ll stay here. For as long as necessary. It’s not safe for you to go back there.” He says, his tone leaving no room for argument.

“Do I get a say in this at all?” 

“Not if your only defense is that you don’t want someone else to take care of you. Because right now you need caring for, and I’m not letting you talk your way out of it.” Hotch said resolutely, and you sighed. The silence lingers for a moment before you speak up again, quietly. 

“I could use some more pain meds.” You admitted. 

“You shouldn’t take these on an empty stomach. Let’s get you some toast, drink your coffee to clear up your sinuses and then you can take your next dose and go back to bed.” 

“Hotch, the day’s half over. I can’t go back to bed.” You argued, with significantly less heat behind it, lifting the steaming mug of coffee up to your face at his suggestion. 

“It’s a sick day. You’re injured. You’re supposed to rest all day and let your body heal. You won’t be arguing with me once you’ve taken the pills.”

Hotch had tried to get you to take the rest of the week off, but you couldn’t stand the thought of sitting around in his apartment doing nothing. You also knew that an extended absence would catch the attention of your teammates-- and you weren’t sure if you were ready to share all of this with them yet. That was why you were perched in front of the mirror in Hotch’s guest room, liberally applying concealer and powder to your healing black eye. Aaron had made you promise to take it easy, and you already know he’d have eyes on you all day to make sure you weren’t overdoing it. No need to attract any more attention. There’s a soft knock from the hall. 

“Come in,” you called.

“Hey,” Hotch said, swinging open the door. “We’ve got to leave in a few minutes.” 

“I’ll be ready,” you assured him, dipping your brush into the powder before brushing it over your nose and cheekbone, wincing a little. 

“When did you learn to do that?” Hotch asked softly.

“Hotch…” You responded softly. 

“Sorry, I don’t mean to pry. You don’t need to answer that.” He apologized, averting his gaze to the floor.

“If I answer, are you going to stop blaming yourself for not noticing?”

“I can’t promise you that.” He shakes his head. 

“I wasn’t… I’m not a battered woman, Hotch.” 

“Of course you aren’t.” He’s quick to affirm you, to make sure you know he doesn’t see you as a victim.

“No, I mean, this was excessive. Was he rough? Sure. Did he leave marks? Yeah, he did. But I wasn’t getting tossed around and beaten like that. He’s not really like that, normally. He was just drunk, I think.” 

“You’re not seriously making excuses for him, are you?” Hotch asked, and suddenly you’re indignant, even though you know he’s right.

“He had a bad night.” You protest weakly. 

“He almost killed you!” Aaron raised his voice, just a tad.

“He was just trying to scare me.” You countered. 

“He was escalating. I know that you know that,” Hotch said, searching your face, looking for something to profile. You didn’t blame him, you knew your behavior was erratic. You draw a deep breath, your chin quivering as your eyes welled up. 

“It worked. I’m scared.” You squeaked out, trying not to let the tears fall and ruin the makeup you’ve worked so hard on. Hotch wrapped you in his arms again and you breathed in deeply, letting his cologne fill your lungs and lull you into a calm.

“You don’t need to be scared. I’ve got your six. I’ve got you.” He reminded you, and you pulled away from him. 

“I don’t think I’m ready to share this with the team yet.” You told him, and he nodded. 

“Like I said, your pace. When you’re ready, you’ll tell them, and if you want my support, I’ll be there. I’m gonna go make us some coffee, meet me in the kitchen when you’re ready.”

You were silly to think that you could hide anything from a group of profilers-- none of them have guessed it, yet, or if they have, they’re too polite to say anything about it, but they’ve certainly noticed something. They surrounded you with concern and peppered you with questions the second you walked into the office, and Hotch’s devotion to making sure you weren’t pushing yourself too hard certainly wasn’t going unnoticed. It was during one of your Unit-Chief-Mandated-Breaks that you snuck into the kitchen to refill your water bottle. Almost silently, JJ slipped in behind you. 

“You know, you can just say the word, and we’ll all stop pestering you.” She says, and you can hear her gentle smile.

“That’s okay. If I call you off, I lose the right to fuss over whoever’s next.” You tried to crack a joke. 

“Good point.” She chuckled. 

“I really am okay, Jayje.” You assured her. 

“No, honey, you aren’t.” She shook her head. “But you’ll tell us when you’re ready, and we’ll support you even if the secret dies with you.” She laughs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you walked out of the kitchen together, sharing a small conspiratorial laugh, your heads thrown back as you pass through the doorway. When the ping of the elevator doors opening grabs your attention, you drop your water bottle in shock. 

“You okay?” JJ asks, bending over to pick up your water bottle as he storms through the glass doors of the BAU. 

“You whore!” Josh spat out, catching the attention of the whole bullpen. So much for keeping them out of it.

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” Morgan asked, rising from his desk immediately. 

“Josh?” Emily says, the first one to recognize him. Your eyes dart around the bullpen, and you spot Reid at his desk phone, no doubt calling security.  

“You fucking bitch!” Josh says, still advancing towards you. Your brain is screaming at you to run but you can’t get your legs to move. It’s a literal childhood nightmare, playing out in the flesh.

“Come on, let’s go back into the kitchen” JJ says softly, her tone betraying none of her fear as she practically shoves you back into the kitchen. You stumble into a chair, and the sound is muted because of the door, but you can still see and hear everything through the glass. Josh takes another step into the bullpen, but Morgan’s in front of him. 

“Turn around and walk out of here, man, because there’s no other way this ends well for you.” Morgan puffs out his chest, trying to stop Josh from looking over his shoulder and seeing you. 

“Not until that slut gives me some fucking answers,” He spits out, and you feel JJ squeeze your hand, but you’re too laser-focused on the scene in front of you to acknowledge her.

“I’m going to give you one more chance to walk away.” Morgan hisses through his teeth, advancing closer to Josh. 

“I’d listen to him if I were you.” Hotch said, suddenly appearing on the other side of Josh. You hadn’t seen him come down the stairs. 

“Ah, good old boss man.’ Josh jeered. “How’s my sloppy seconds? I hope she’s treating you real good seeing as how you stole her right out from under me in the night.”

Without warning, you watch Hotch’s fist connect with Josh’s face. Josh stumbles away, holding his nose, when security comes in through the elevators. 

“I’m leaving, I’m leaving.” He says, raising his hands in surrender. He turns around to face Hotch once more. “This isn’t over.” He says, bringing his hands back to his nose and following the security officer into the elevator.

There’s a stunned sort of silence that hangs over the unit for a few moments before you hear someone break out into a sob. When you feel JJ’s hand start rubbing across your back, you realize that it came from you. The door flies open and you startle, but when you look up, you see a clouded figure of Hotch through your tear-saturated eyes. 

You hear JJ and Aaron whisper to each other, but you can’t focus enough to hear what they’re saying. Whatever it is, the conversation ends with JJ slipping out of the kitchen just as quietly as she came, and Aaron sliding into the chair across from you.

“Can I touch you?” He asked, his voice only just loud enough for you to hear over the sound of your own labored breathing. You nodded, unable to verbally respond. He smoothed his hands over your shoulders, down your arms, taking your hands into his own. “You’re okay, he’s gone. Security knows who he is now, he won’t be allowed back in the building.” He tells you, and you nod again. 

“I’m okay.” You manage to choke out. 

“I need you to take some deep breaths for me, okay? You’re going to make yourself sick.” He asked of you, disarmingly calm, as he modeled the deep cleansing breaths for you. You take a deep, shaky breath in, trying to force the oxygen all the way down into your lungs before letting it back out in a huff. “Good,” he told you. “Good job, sweetheart, keep going.” he encouraged you, tucking a piece of hair that had gotten stuck to your tear-stained cheek behind your ear. When you were finally calm enough to look up at him, you did so. “There you are,” he smiled at you. “You’re okay.” 

“I’m okay. Your hand--”

“I’m okay--” He assured you, but you flipped his hand over in your own anyways. It’s swollen. 

“You need ice.” You said, standing up and crossing to the freezer. 

“You need to sit down before you fall.” Aaron stood up to follow you, shaking his head. 

“I took my deep breaths, Hotch. I’m not an eighty year old woman.” You chastised him as you pulled a few ice cubes out of the freezer, putting them in a plastic bag and wrapping a paper towel around it. 

“My hand is fine.” He argued with you as you pressed the ice pack to his knuckles. 

“You are in absolutely no position to argue with me about letting someone else take care of you, hypocrite.” You fought back, with nothing but concern behind it. 

“Okay, fine, but can you sit down, please.” He begged of you. 

“Don’t I owe the rest of the team an explanation for all of that?” 

“They can wait. Sit down.” He said, and it was no longer a request. You sat down in the seat across from him. “How’s your head?” 

‘It’s been better.” You tell him honestly. 

“Take a few more deep breaths, please.” He tells you, and you roll your eyes. 

“Hotch, I’m--”

“You’re holding your breath. Your shoulders are practically touching your ears. Plus, it would make my hand feel better.” He says, shooting you a grin that would be wholly inappropriate for the situation if it didn’t make you feel so at ease.

You roll your eyes at him in mock-contempt, taking the breaths to appease him and dropping your shoulders. “How is your hand, seriously?” 

“I’m fine. I’ve thrown my fair share of punches.” He smirked at you, still trying to distract you, to lighten the mood. “We can just leave. You must need more pain meds, if not a nap. We don’t have to get into all of it today.” 

“Well, they all basically know now. We should probably just go to clear the air that I’m not sleeping with you for a promotion.”

“If you’re not up to it, we can--”

“No, Hotch.” You stand up, shaking your head at him through a smile. “Let’s go get it over with.” 

 The team, of course, didn’t need you to explain that all of what Josh had said was false. Your integrity and the trust shared between all of you was louder than any stupid asshole that could bluster in through those glass doors. You’d cried all of your makeup off, so your black eye was now fully exposed to the team. Aaron left a protective hand on the small of your back the whole time you spoke, never once speaking over you or interrupting. As soon as you finished, you felt silly for ever thinking you needed to hide this from them-- they were supportive without being pitying, and JJ, Emily and Garcia had wrapped you up in hugs just as soon as you finally got it all off your chest. 

“We’re going to head out, obviously call us if there’s an urgent case notification.” Aaron explained to the team. “You all should feel free to leave as soon as your paperwork is done.”

“Hotch, I’m really fine,” you tried to insist. 

“Are you gonna tell the team they have to keep working?” Aaron quirked an eyebrow at you and you scowled, knowing there was no going back now. “I’m just going to pack some of my stuff up.” He told you, turning back to his office. You followed suit, going to your desk and tidying up. 

“Hey, cupcake.” Morgan whistled to get your attention before crossing the bullpen to get to you. “If I had known--if I had seen that bruise on your face before he walked in here -- I would have taken him down myself. Hotchner showed an... impressive amount of restraint.” He told you with a humorless chuckle. 

“Thank you, Derek. But he’s not worth it, seriously.” You told him with a smile. 

“No, he’s not.” He agreed. “But you are. Don’t you forget that, okay? If you need anything, I’m here.” 

Instead of responding verbally, you pushed yourself up onto your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. He wrapped his arms around you snugly, crushing you into his chest. It hurt, a little, but the overwhelming security you found with him holding you was far stronger than any pain.

You pulled away and bid your goodnights to the team, following Aaron out to the car taking off towards his apartment. 

“You were really brave back there. I’m proud of you. As your friend, not your boss. Or, I guess as your friend and your boss.” He tells you, taking one hand off the steering wheel to squeeze yours briefly. 

“I didn’t really have much of a choice,” you rolled your eyes with a small smirk. 

“There’s always a choice. You chose to get out, and you chose to let your team in. That’s not nothing.” He told you as he parked the car in front of his place.

 “Thank you,” you said, choosing to accept the compliment even though you didn’t believe him. Aaron saw it in your eyes, but he let it slide. You’d see, eventually.  At her pace, he reminded himself. 

“I was thinking I’d cook tonight. Do you have anything particular in mind?” He asked as you settled into the apartment, hanging up your coats. 

“Aaron Hotchner, you can cook?” You laughed, turning around and beaming at him. He couldn’t help but return your smile. 

“I’m not Dave, but I manage.” He said coyly. 

“I’m sure whatever you make will be delicious.” You told him graciously. “And I’m very excited to try it.”

He tossed you an orange from the bowl of fruit on his counter, and then your pain meds. “Go take a nap.”

“Hotch, I’m---”

“Nope, I don’t want to hear it. I let you spend six hours squinting at screens and paperwork under fluorescents. None of that was good for your head. Go.” 

You rolled your eyes at him goodnaturedly before going to the guest room, stripping your work clothes off in favor of a pair of sweats and an FBI Academy t-shirt. Truth be told, everything that had gone down at work had been exhausting, and it wasn’t long before you fell asleep. 

[bangtangalicious]

cancelled (1) | myg, jjk

summary: you cheated on your boyfriend, one of the most sought after boys on campus, with the nerd from the back of the lecture hall. that’s not the whole story, but only you know that. now a video has leaked across and everyone is turning against you for hurting such a perfect s/o.

pairing: yoongi x reader, jungkook x reader

wordcount: 3k

genre: yandere!yoongi and nerd!jungkook exyandere!jungkook

established-relationship!au college!au cheating!au

warnings: reader discretion is advised. cheating, mentions of past dubcon activity, yandere behavior, guilt, slight oral (f and m receiving), reverse cowgirl, soft smut in a not so soft situation, manipulation, jungkook calls you his pretty baby, sexual harassment, yoongi is lowkey a creep in this, prostitution i guess but like...its not how you'd think, mentions of rape fantasy but it doesnt happen

twoshot: part 1 | part 2 | masterlist

They say that you let a good thing be. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Well in your almost perfect life, that hand was Min Yoongi. Your boyfriend of 2 years now. You met through family, he was an heir, and you were the daughter of a wealthy associate. He used to spend his spring breaks with your family back in high school. You recall fondly how he sneak out, begging you to cover for him, end up passed out drunk in some alley and calling you, scared for his life.

You saw the way he grew—no, blossomed into the amazing man he is. You both got accepted to the same prestigious university program, and it is here your love story truly began. Straight out of a movie, Yoongi did not realize how much he adored you until he saw you grinding your ass up on some random guy at a frat party. A few months of drama gave way to pure happiness.

Yoongi made quite a name for himself on campus. He was incredibly charming, was impressive in his studies, and was always around for a good time. He treated everyone with respect and had no enemies. You felt proud to be his girlfriend, by his side as he made his mark.

And he was so so good to you. While your start may have been driven by jealousy and rage, he made up for it entirely by taking you on weekend getaways, loving you sweetly, holding you while you cry and buying you food. You two were freakishly domestic, and you loved it. You were ready for the ring whenever he was. So blessed that you could wake up every morning in a pair of arms that held you like you were their whole world.

Unfortunately, paradise tends to be a destination never quite reached. You sat, curled up into your knees, trembling as you watched cruel comments pop up on a video.

ungrateful whore.

Yoongi deserves so much better

#y/nisoverparty

why would you even want to cheat on a catch like yoongi? jfc

You didn’t know what bothered you the most. Was it the comments? Was it your fucked out face in the video? You moans that clearly indicated pleasure? Was it the fact that you hurt a man you loved? Or was it the fact that he was still there, sitting right next to you and kissing your damp cheeks every time he saw a tear, mumbling into your neck that it was okay, that he wasn’t mad. Did you deserve someone so perfect?

“Aw baby” He coos at you, stroking your hair as your sobs got louder. You fell into his embrace, unsure of what to think or do. “Ssh…I’m not mad baby. It’s my fault I wasn’t there”

You didn’t know how true his words were. You didn’t know just how at fault he was.

Yoongi had been doing his work in your shared apartment in his private study which even you weren’t allowed to enter. The security footage of your lecture played on his monitor, but he was barely paying attention. He kept an eye on you, but it was getting unnecessary. You had been together for so long, he could trust you now. He sighed and zoomed into where you sat, whispering something to the person seated next to you. They giggled and slid their hand onto your thigh. Yoongi simply watched, a smirk playing on his lips. The whole campus knew you were his. No one would dare make a move on you. He made sure of it. It was the whole reason he made your relationship so visible. He had people’s respect, and so they would respect that you belonged to him.

The hand trailed up your thin yoga pants, cupping your core. You slapped the hand away and Yoongi grinned wider. He liked to test you every now and then.

Yoongi wired money to that man’s bank account through his phone. Now all you had to do was tell him what happened. There was no room for secrets between you two.

“I’m home babe” He heard you walk in. He popped a Xanax and gulped down a glass of water. He smiled at you sweetly, taking your bag and setting it down before attacking your neck with soft, breathless kisses.

“How was your day?” He asked quietly, “Anything interesting happen?”

“Nah. Pretty uneventful” He raised his eyebrows.

“Oh. Nothing at all?”

“Well” Yoongi’s eyes perked. Tell me someone harassed you baby. Just tell me. “I did try this amazing latte at the cafe in the Literature building.”

Why were you lying to him? Yoongi tilted his head. It wasn’t that big of a deal, it just made him wonder what else you hid from him. The little things. The little things that pile up.

Yoongi realized it had gone too far when he heard you gossiping with a few of your girl friends in the hallway of the Science Institute. “I just can’t believe he won’t fuck you. Doesn’t he know how many people would if they had a chance?”

“He seems so perfect but it’s almost like he’s just lacking the one key thing. Dick” They giggled. You rolled your eyes. You had confessed that you really did want to have sex. Yoongi wanted to save himself for marriage, but it was getting hard for you. When you brought this up with Yoongi he shut you down immediately.

“Baby” He fingered the purity ring on his pinky finger, “You know I can’t”

You had been frequently meeting with someone from one of your lab classes, a certain Jeon Jungkook. Yoongi didn’t love this, but he was acquainted with Jungkook, and knew that he likely was not a threat. The boy was not your type at all—his clunky glasses and sweater vests and his hair long and swept back, unlike Yoongi’s fresh blonde cut. Sometimes you wouldn’t tell him that you were with Jungkook, but he still knew. Nothing happened. But he still got irritated.

Unfortunately it was impossible to truly watch you all the time. After all, Yoongi was a social guy and had to make appearances frequently. He often wondered if you knew he watched you, so you waited to run off fuck yourself on Jungkook when he wasn't looking. He bit his lip until blood came out, raging at the prospect.

He wasn’t entirely wrong about you though. You did always feel pressure of behaving in a way that reflected well on him. So when everyone was looking at Yoongi, you were able to slouch your shoulders and relax. You would go to Jungkook’s house for a drink, with no ulterior motive on either of your end. You loved Yoongi. Jungkook respected him, and you. There was no issue.

So when Yoongi showed up at Jungkook’s doorstep a week later with a bag full of cash asking him to fuck his girlfriend, he was disgusted at first.

“E…excuse me?” He stammered, blushing. Yoongi squinted at him.

“Have sex with y/n the next time she is over.” He put on a show, “I just feel bad I cannot give her what she desires. I don’t want to deprive her of anything. I know she is fond of you so if you wouldn’t mind…she is very beautiful I can tell you that”

“I…that’s not…do you realize how insane this is?”

Yoongi shrugged, “It’s twenty-thousand dollars to fuck a pretty girl. What’s so bad?”

“Does she want this? D…do you have her consent to be asking me this?”

“Of course.” He chuckled giving a charming smile, “In fact, she has a bit of a fantasy that I was hoping you could indulge. I am not sure if she will go through with it but, she might try to resist at first, but really she wants to be used like a whore. She will love it, really.”

Jungkook gave him a skeptical look. “What the fuck? You want me to indulge your girlfriend’s rape fantasy? I’m not a fucking sadist”

“It’s not a rape fantasy. She just likes to struggle a bit but then she will get into it. She will want it”

“I can’t believe I am even entertaining this conversation, you need to leave”

“Forty-thousand.”

“Fuck off Yoongi. First of all, I am not even into y/n…” He paused.

“Oh please, she’s the finest thing in miles of here, you just haven’t considered her as available. That’s how I know I can trust you to do this for me.”

Jungkook gulped. That’s not quite it. He thought to himself. But the thought passed when Yoongi took off his watch and handed it to him.

“This is worth half a million dollars. Are we good?”

Jungkook just gaped at him.

“You have had sex before right?”

Oh yes he had. Once. He nodded slowly.

“Okay good. Please show her a good time and keep this between us”

“She knows right? She knows you’re asking me to do this?”

Yoongi grinned and pat Jungkook’s shoulder, “Oh baby boy, she’s the one who suggested it”

Jungkook found that a bit hard to believe.

What Yoongi didn’t know was that Jungkook already has had sex. With you. You didn’t know it was him, and it was long before you began dating Yoongi.

Jungkook had been obsessed with you as a high schooler, your pictures collaging the back of his bathroom door, a variety of your things—forgotten hoodies, dropped pens— messily shoved into the drawer of his desk.

It was an innocent phase at first. You were just so pretty. He couldn’t help the way his blood would rush between his legs every time you would glance in his general direction. He couldn’t help watching the way you outgrew your uniform skirt, almost breaking down in tears when you replaced it with a larger size. He would sneak out of class when you had PE to watch you run, and the way your breasts bounced in the tight top you wore.

You didn’t know him. Why would you? He was no way near your league. He worked extremely hard, dreaming to get into the same university as you on a full ride because his family could never afford it.

Jungkook would normally follow you home, obviously he just wanted to make sure you reached safe. You had been crying the entire walk home. Jungkook had to gather every ounce of self restraint not to go hug you and kiss you until you smiled again. He hated seeing you cry, and it made him want to die.

He was worried about you. You entered your beautiful home, but no one was there. What if you tried to harm yourself? Who would protect you?

He had snuck in through the back.

If anyone had been around, they may have heard a scream. But more likely the would have heard the cries of pleasure that followed.

That evening you told Yoongi you were going to work on stuff with Jungkook. You dressed modestly, not bothering to freshen up much. He watched through his cameras as you arrived into Jungkook’s tiny apartment. So much smaller than his, probably in more ways than one, he clicked his tongue in amusement.

“Hey Jungkook!” You hugged him lightly. He looked extremely uncomfortable which made Yoongi all the more amused.

Two people fucking who both don’t want to. What do you call that? Yoongi chuckled darkly.

“Listen y/n…I know that…I know I agreed but I just wanna make sure…” Jungkook could barely look you in the eye. As destiny would have it, you chose that moment to pull your hoodie off, giving Jungkook a flash of the underside of your breasts. He gulped. “You really don’t remember me do you…”

“What do you mean?” You were so confused. Jungkook licked his lips and crawled over where you were sitting on his couch, causing you to lay on your back. “What…hey what the fuck are you doing?”

He didn’t like your tone. It awoke a protective instinct in him. He stroked your hair and gazed deeply into your eyes. “How long has it been since you’ve had sex?”

You blushed furiously, face heating up dangerously fast at the sudden question. You shifted your neck away from him uncomfortably. “Um…I guess…3, maybe 4 years?”

“Tsk, poor girl.” He cooed, his finger grazed your cheek, “Alright, I’ll play along. You can let me know if you want me to stop okay?” He lowered himself enough to let his lips trace travel down the veins on your neck. He inhaled you, memories of innocent years coming back to him in floods.

You were frozen. His body radiated heat, his scent was giving you a high you couldn’t quite explain. You shouldn’t feel this way. You had sweet sweet Yoongi waiting for you at home. Sweet Yoongi who loved you, and was saving himself for you like the pure angel he is.

You looked up at the soft dark eyes of the man above you now. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of deja vu.

“Jungkook” You exhaled as his lips began kissing over your shirt, down the valley of your breasts, lifting your shirt so he could kiss your stomach. “I…I have a boyfriend”

“You’re really committed to this huh?” He chuckled, taking some of his fingers and slowly circling under the waistline of your shorts. You blinked a few times to try to react to what was happening but your body was overwhelmed. It had been so long since you were touched like this.

“Please” You said loudly, so loudly that Jungkook barely hears the “don’t do this” that followed in a whisper.

Jungkook thought back to the night you took his virginity. It hadn’t been on his agenda, he was content following you around and jacking off to your social media accounts every night. That night had changed him. He had realized then that he was messed up. He realized he needed help and he sought it out. A few years of therapy had done him good. He felt guilty about it for a while, but eventually had to grow and move on. He would never act like that again.

But here he was.

And there you were. Below him again. Begging for him through your actions and pushing him away with your words.

Emotions overwhelmed you. Your heart wrenched at the bitter guilt that you were doing the unthinkable. They very thing that you would condemn about other couples. How could you? How could you cheat? But your body was whimpering.

“I have a boyfriend. He’s so good to me. He’s so amazing, and I…I love” You let out a sob as he allowed his hips to roll into you, giving you friction you had craved for so long, “Jungkook…please” You knew he was reading between the lines. You knew he heard your consent, and that disgusted you.

“Mmm I know baby. I know you love him” Jungkook sighed as he pulled down your shorts, “Tell me about him baby. Tell me how much you love him” He began kissing your thighs, burying his face into your cunt.

“He’s so—ahhh” Jungkook took his tongue and pushed aside your underwear to lick a long stripe between your legs. “So good. So fucking…mmmmhhh” You squealed as Jungkook shoved his tongue inside you. The sensation was heavy in your core, but the sensation drove you wild. He flicked his tongue around, almost too easily being able to find all the right places to make you twitch and moan his name.

“Do you want my cock pretty baby? Hmm?” He whispered teasingly, his voice muffling against you as he continued to eat you out. You yelped as he sucked on your clit and nodded your head dumbly. “My little girl so desperate for cock she’d cheat on her boyfriend hm?” He came up for air, your juices messily spread across his lips, his eyes shot with lust.

“Don’t…don’t say that” You whined. Jungkook nodded before pulling off his sweater. You traced his muscles with your fingers, so defined and beautifully tan as he shrugged off his jeans. He took his glasses off and folded them carefully but you grabbed his hand.

“Keep them on…your glasses…” Jungkook’s eyes widened in amusement.

“Why” He teased.

“I like them. I like them a lot. You remind me of someone I used to like” Jungkook’s blood ran cold.

Did you remember?

Did you remember the way he had pinned you up against your kitchen wall back then? The way he left hickies all over your body, marking you as his. The way he had entered you for the first time, with you sprawled out across your dining table, then again on the counter tops, then again from behind pressed up against the window.

Did you remember how many times you both came? It was like a sex fest of hours and hours. In your mouth, on your face, on your tits and buried deep in your cunt, the condom barely surviving the pressure of his seed.

Did you remember the way you cried after in his arms, unable to walk? The way he held you and kissed you softly, apologizing.

Did you remember how he had given you pills so you would forget, hoping that you wouldn’t be sad any longer?

Jungkook had been too lost in thought to notice that you had pulled your own shirt off, leaving you in a sports bra, pulling his neck down so you could kiss him.

“Jungkook” You gasped as he finally regained consciousness and dragged his fingers across your pussy.

“Will you ride me baby?” His eyes twinkled in his request and you were more than happy to indulge him. Jungkook switched positions with you. You reverse cowgirled him, unknowingly, the perfect position for Yoongi to see all of you as you fucked yourself silly onto Jungkook’s cock.

You lowered yourself down on him slowly, savoring the stretch that you had almost forgotten you could ever feel. Your fingers could never give you a sensation quite like this. Jungkook shut his eyes and tried to savor the feeling.

“Pretty…pretty baby” He cooed, sitting up so he could nibble your shoulder and hold your hips as he bounced you slowly on his cock.

“Tell me something” He exhaled, feeling himself slowly approaching his orgasm, the feeling of your soft, warm walls around him too much to bear, “Did you want this because of me…or did you just need cock?”

You continued thrusting yourself back into him, the firm hold of his hands on you giving you an arousing sense of comfort. You wiggled your ass, liking the way he would grunt when you did.

“Did you want me baby? Did you do this for me?”

You cried out suddenly, feeling a long awaited orgasm overwhelming your senses. Jungkook’s grip on you tightened as he tried to keep fucking you through it, your body going limp, twitching erraticly.

“So pretty…my sweet sweet girl” He turned your head to kiss your lips, slipping his tongue in and relishing in the love you poured in through your actions. He caressed your breasts and continued to thrust up into you.

“Come inside me” You exhaled softly.

“No y/n…that wouldn’t be right” Jungkook was reminded of the eerily intimidating presence of the man who was paying him to do this. He slowly brought his thrusts to a halt before helping you up off of him, his cock still painfully erect. “I can finish myself”

You pouted, watching him drill his graze into your naked presence, violently stroking his cock. He licked his lips shamelessly.

“I don’t love you anymore y/n” He whispered too softly for you to hear, “I’m over you. I’m over this. This doesn’t mean anything—AAAAhhh” Your mouth was on his cock and that was all it took for him to come harder than he ever had.

He took you into his arms, wrapping them around you and kissing your face over and over again, caressing your hips and trying to relax your muscles so you wouldn’t be sore.

You reached for your phone as Jungkook began to fill the silence.

“Yoongi seems really great. He clearly cares about you a lot. I’m really happy for you, genuinely” He says softly, “I’m honestly really impressed he let this happen”

But you didn’t hear him, all you could hear was your heart drumming loudly in your ears as you saw the stream of notifications on your phone. Your heart dropping like a bomb when you saw the single message you dreaded more than anything.

yoongi: what’s this? <link>

And linked was a live stream of the events that had just transpired.

masterlist                                                       next----->

A/N: im just cackling at #y/nisoverparty HAHA um stream film out! woohoo

[fa-headhoncho]

Amajiki Tamaki x Reader

Prompt: You get drunk at a party and Tamaki saves the day.

Word Count: uh 2487

Reader: Female

Warning: very Americanized, out of character Tama??? I've never written for him before so be nice

Masterlist

=====

You walk up the stairs to the large house, the music echoing through the street through the open door. The party was in full swing, drunk college kids littered the lawn playing various games or talking amongst themselves. It was a normal occurrence by this point. Mirio threw a party almost every weekend and invited everyone he knew… which was a lot. His kindness and ability to make anyone feel welcomed made him friends with almost everyone he encountered.

The blonde was impressive, to say the least. He managed to keep his place in the top three of his class and party. You didn’t understand how he did it. He never seemed stress either… Oh, to be Mirio Togata.

“(Y/N)!” A voice calls interrupting your thoughts. You look around, spotting Nejire trying to wiggle her way between the dancing twenty-year-olds. She gives one of them a hefty shove, apologizing before finally standing in front of you. The periwinkle-haired woman, pulling you in for a short hug, “I didn’t think you were coming-- Oh, my god.” She cuts herself off as she takes in your outfit.

You fidget nervously under her gaze, pulling down the end of your skirt. You were wearing something you stole straight from Pinterest, a black lace top with a simple blue miniskirt and some boots. It was simple enough for a college party but edgy enough to catch a certain someone’s eyes. She stares a little too long causing you to rethink the entire thing.

“Neji, finish the sentence. You’re scaring me.” You snap her out of her thoughts, shaking the arm she had a gentle grip on.

A small smirk comes across her face, leaning in slightly as she whispers, “Are you wearing that for Tama?” She innocently questions. Blood rushes to your cheeks and you duck your head away from her. “You thought you were being subtle, I know why you come to these parties. Mirio isn’t good at keeping secrets.”

You let out a groan, bringing your hands to your face to hide. A couple of weeks ago, you got a little bit tipsier than you planned and ended up confessing how you felt about the awkward, indigo-haired man to his best friend. Explaining how the only reason you came to these parties was to catch a glance of him. Mirio, of course, encouraged you to just ask him to hang out but you were too scared to ruin what little friendship you built up.

Nejire giggles, knowing she caught you redhanded. “He likes you more than you think, (Y/N).” She mindlessly confesses causing a kaleidoscope of butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “He was actually talking about you the other day! Oh, you should’ve heard him. She just so sweet for her own good--” She lowers her voice to mimic Tama. somehow keeping a straight face in the process.

“--The way her eyes light up when she talks about--” She stops talking again, his intoxicated state making her distracted. You furrow your eyebrows and try to figure out where her mind just went before she lets out a squeal. “Oh, I love this song! Come dance with me!”

“Actually, I wanted to go see Tam--” You don’t have any time to finish your sentence before she drags you into the sea of drunk college students.

=====

Tamaki sighs, running a hand over his face as he contemplates the pros and cons of not going downstairs. Pros: he didn’t have to interact with anyone or possibly embarrass himself in front of almost everyone in their grade. Cons: starve to death… which sounded better at this point. The last time he went down to the kitchen during one of Mirio’s parties, he accidentally ran into someone and made them spill their drink all over themself.

He feels his face start to burn at the memory, he couldn’t even bring himself to apologize before Mirio stepped in and lead him back up to his room. After that, Tamaki stocked up on snacks in his room but they, unfortunately, ran out when he got a bit too hungry last night.

A loud growl sounds out from his stomach finalizes his decision. He decides to rip the bandaid and sets his laptop on the floor, flinging his covers off then marching towards the door. He makes his way down the stairs, the confidence he found now diminishing once he reaches the bottom.

Indigo eyes scan the first floor. Bodies were everywhere, people from different grades and even some from nearby universities filled the small three-bedroom home. It was times like these that made him grateful for his two best friends.

When Mirio, Nejire, and Tamaki moved in together, it was an unspoken agreement that Tama would get the room in the attic. It was tucked away and you couldn’t hear the noise from the constant parties they threw. And, no matter what state of mind the two were in, the severity of the “no one goes past the second flight of stairs” rule was no joke. If they caught anyone trying to sneak off up there, they were kicked out and never invited to their home again.

Tamaki sucks in a breath then b-lines towards the kitchen. He skillfully avoids the bodies and safely makes it to his destination. Quickly, he goes to his cabinet of snacks and grabs the first thing he sees. He turns around and rushes back to the stairs but is stopped when he hears someone call out his name.

He immediately recognizes the voice and closes his eyes. Don’t say something stupid, don’t say something stupid, don’t stay something stupid--

His eyes snap open and his whole body goes stiff when he feels arms wrapping around his neck. Your signature scent flooded his nostrils making him relax into the hug. It feels as if the whole room disappears around the two of you, the music going silent and the people vanishing. His anxiety of coming down here was worth seeing you.

“Tama! I’ve looking for you everywhere!” You slur out, keeping your arms around him as you pull away from the embrace. “I asked Nejire where you were and I’ve been trying to get up to say hi but people keep dragging me away. I came here to see you, I--” You start to ramble off, your drunken mind taking over and allowing you to word vomit. He listens with stars in his eyes, his heart singing at the thought you came to one of these parties just to see him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry for hugging you.” You suddenly unattached your body from his, a frown slipping onto your face at the action. “I know you don’t like that kind of attention. I just messed everything up--”

“It’s fine,” He rushes out before you could start rambling again. A small blush coats his cheeks as he watches your shoulders relax. “I don’t mind it from you.” He wasn’t sure you could hear him over the blaring music in the background but the large smile on your face says you did.

You open your mouth to respond but are cut off by some guy sliding next to you. “Hey there, sweet thang.” The man chirped out with a small smirk on his face.

“Hi!” You innocently giggle out, eyes turning to him for a second before directing it back to him to continue your conversation. “Tama, I found this little cafe you might like--” The man looks Tamaki up and down before going back to you, stepping in between the two of you causing a pout to appear on your face. “Hey, I was talking to Tama.”

“Why don’t you and I go find a place alone?” He more of demands than offers. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion at him, opening your mouth to deny him but snap it shut when he rests a hand on your hip.

“No, I don’t feel comfort--”

“Come on, don’t be a buzzkill.” He interjects, moving to lead you away from the crowd of people. Tamaki doesn’t know what takes over him when he reaches out and pulls the guy off of you. He has his hand on his shoulder as he looks down at him. He could tell by the steadiest of his words and the overpowering smell of body spray that he wasn’t drunk. He’s heard about the guys at parties that stay sober and scope out innocent girls who drank too much to take advantage of them.

He doesn’t realize how hard he was gripping the man’s shirt until he feels you gently place your hand on his lower back. “Tama, it’s fine. Let him alone.” He snaps his head to your voice and then back at the man, giving him the most intimidating look he could muster up before releasing the cotton.

“Tch. You can have her.” The man scoffs out, fixing the collar of his shirt and smoothing down the wrinkles. “She’s not even that hot anyways.” He mumbles out before walking away. Tamaki watches in satisfaction as Mirio stops him a few feet away, the bright smile on his face replaced with a scowl as he talks to him and then leads him out of the house.

Reality seems to come back to him when he hears a whine squeak out behind him. He spins around to see your lip pouted out and tears brimming your eyes. “Am I really not pretty?” You question causing his eyes to widen.

“No, no.” He rushes out, quickly moving forward to comfort you but stops himself. He didn’t want to make the situation worse by giving you an unwanted touch so he just stands there frozen. Your cries soon turn into body-shaking sobs, bringing attention towards you from other party-goers. Tamaki starts to panic on the inside, he was never good at consoling people but he couldn’t just stand there and let you degrade yourself.

Pushing down all his anxious thoughts, he reaches out and rests a gentle hand on your shoulder. He starts leading you out of the kitchen and towards the stairs as you continue to let the sleazeball’s words get to you. He couldn’t let you put yourself in front of all those people when he knew you were far from that.

Tamaki lets out a sigh of relief when you finally make it to the comfort of his bedroom. It was much easier to talk to you without anyone else around especially in this state of mind. He could focus on his thoughts and let you release your emotions freely without fearing the embarrassment tomorrow.

“I am ugly, aren’t I?” You suddenly croak out, voice still muffled by your hands.

“No, I-I think you’re very pretty, (Y/N).” You shake your head at him, dropping your hands to reveal your face. His heart sinks at your puffy eyes and red cheeks.

“You’re just saying that, Tama!” You cry out, stomping your foot like a child.

“No, I’m not!” He rushes out but you don’t look up at him. He allows his body to move over to you, cupping your cheeks and making you look at him in the eyes. Your lips were still in a pout but he noticed your tears yield. That gives him enough confidence to continue talking,

“You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” He confesses with a small blush on his cheeks. “You don’t even need to dress up to make an impression. When you show up to class in sweats and a sweatshirt, you still take my breath away. Don’t let that guy’s words make you doubt your beauty.” You let his words soak in, sadness replaced with fluttering in your stomach.

“Thank you.” You manage to whisper out with a tiny smile on your lips.

He lights up, a large smile on his own face seeing that he succeeded at comforting you. “No problem, bunny.” He gleams and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. He doesn’t even realize he let his nickname slip until you let out a giggle.

“Bunny?” You innocently ask with a lift to your tone. He feels his face heat up, eye-widening once again. “I like that. Bunny, bunny, bunny.” You repeat as you rest your hands over his on your cheeks. “I’m your bunny.”

He can’t help the chuckle that escapes his lips at how joyous you were with the term of endearment. “You’re so cute.”

“So are you.” You're quick to reply, nuzzling yourself into his cheek. There's a moment of silence as you just bask in each other’s presence. The air shifts around the two of you as it happens. His gaze absently flicks to your lips then back to your eyes. You seem to notice since you start leaning in.

Before your lips could touch, Tamaki turns his head. He knew you weren’t in the right state of mind and he didn’t want you to regret kissing him. He dreamed your first kiss would be much more than that, something the two of you would remember.

Your kiss lands on his warm cheek. Your eyes flutter open to meet his downcasted ones. “I’m so sorry. I thought--”

“No, don’t apologize.” He cuts you off with a whisper as he takes your hands into his. “I really want to kiss you…” Your face lights up at that, “but I-- just think about it more, okay, bunny?”

You nod excitedly, “Can we cuddle then?”

“Of course, let’s get you into some comfy clothes first.” He suggests then presses another kiss to your forehead. You let out another giggle and wait patiently as he moves to his dresser and pulls out a t-shirt and sweats.

Tamaki turns around to give you some privacy while you change. He holds back a laugh when he hears you struggling behind him. Once he hears your shuffling stop followed by the sound of something plopping onto his bed, he decides it’s safe to turn back.

His heart nearly explodes as sees you in his clothes laying on his bed. You easily burrow into his pillows and find comfort in his blankets. He shakes his head, knocking out all the inappropriate thoughts and makes his way over to your grabby hands.

He slips under the covers and you’re immediately cuddled up to his side. He tries to calm his internal dialogue as you press against his side, carefully sliding an arm around your body and adjusting in a more comfortable position. Your head lays on your shoulder with a leg and an arm slung over him to get as close as possible.

You let out a content sigh, feeling the warmth of his body completely relaxing you. Your eyelids start to get heavy and you yawn, “Night, Tama. Love you.”

Tamaki’s body stiffens under you like a board, the hand that was absently playing with your hair comes to a halt. “I-I love you too.”

[wish-that-i-was-buckys-girl]

Dad’s Best Friend

Summary: Your Dad’s Best Friend, Lee Bodecker, is a close family friend who helps and protects you at all costs. But all he is is a family friend, right?

Warnings: Mentions of a Peeping Tom, Smut, Daddy Kink, choking, perverted comments, maybe slight dub-con?

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first time writing on tumblr, so I hope you enjoy! This story is also on my ao3, but I saw how much love Lee was getting on tumblr, so I decided to make a blog for fan fictions. Please be gentle with criticism, this is my first time writing smut. However, don’t be afraid to voice your opinion! This is a modern day AU. Lee is soft in this one, there are no dark elements. If you squint maybe it’s dub-con, but I don’t see it that way. However, I added it to the warnings just in case. If there are any more warnings I need to add just let me know and I happily will. This is a learning experience for me! If this receives enough love, I left it open for it to make it a mini-series, or maybe do more drabbles about it. I hope you enjoy!

________________________________________

(Not my gif)

You moved to Knockemstiff when you were 6 years old. Your mother, a local politician, got hired in the little town of Ohio 15 years ago. She began working as a town council member, eventually working her way up to being the mayor.

Being the mayor’s daughter had some perks. You always got complimentary food at the local diners. The business owners wanted to get in good with your mother, for whatever reason. You weren’t sure what your mother had to offer that could help them, but food is food and free pancakes are free pancakes. You never really understood politics yourself. You understood federal level and a little bit of state, but local politics (although some claim it to be the most important) bored the shit out of you.

You even knew the town police. You grew close to Deputy Howser. He was a little older than you, but you got along well and frequented drinking together on the weekends with some of your other friends. Your father, however, got close with the Sheriff. Your father was a stay-at-home dad, your mother bringing in all the money you could ever need. They both didn’t mind, and it was easier growing up to have at least one parent at home. Although Sheriff Bodecker didn’t think being a stay-at-home dad exuded masculinity, he was still your fathers’ friend, nonetheless. They bonded over shitty beer, sports, and candy.

The Sheriff, although you didn’t hang out with him, was another authority figure in your life that you always had to worry about. You couldn’t go out with friends. You knew this because of one mishap you had with your friends. Everyone was home from college, meaning there would be a huge party. You and your friend, Jenny, we’re only 20 at the time. You went, got extremely drunk, and the cops were called.

Of course, you had to be laying on the couch, shirt off, when Sheriff Bodecker arrived. He picked you up by your waist, bring your limp frame against his sturdy body.

“Do I need to tell your father about this darlin’?”

You whined against his chest

“Nooooo, don’t tell my daaaddddyyy”

His cock swelled at the word.

Daddy

He didn’t understand why and just tried to push it deep down.

“Well, doll, I think I can keep this secret for you. Just this once though. If I see you in this state again before you turn 21, I’m going to have to take you in. I can’t show favorites in this town.”

You looked up and smiled at him groggily

“But aren’t I your favorite, Sheriff?”

This wasn’t the only instance in when you ran into the trouble with the Sheriff. You also had a habit of smoking, and more frequently, eating illegal substances.

“Hey darlin’, you’re looking a little tired today,” he said entering your kitchen, “do you need to take a nap or somethin’?”

You reacted slow.

You looked up to him with half-open eyes.

“.....what?”

He knew. He knew from the moment you looked at you.

He just smiled. He wouldn’t snitch as long you were safe. You were in your house, and he and your father were there to protect you if anything happened.

“Go take a nap sweetheart. I’ll go get you when the takeout gets here.”

You smiled and nodded. Before going upstairs, you leaned in to give him a hug.

You whispered, “Thanks Lee.”

______________________________________

Deputy Howser walked into your place of work, a retail store.

You spotted him from the back, where you were steaming shirts to put out on the rack.

“Hey!” you shouted at him from across the store.

“Hey!” He stated walking towards you, “You gonna be home tonight?”

“I suppose I should be, why?”

“Well, I might advise against it” he said worried.

“And why is that?”

“Well... as you know it’s poker night, and all the guys from the station are gonna be coming over to your house to play.”

“Yes, I do know this, and what about it?”

“Well, I just, I know how some of the guys down at the station can get when they start drinking, and I’m not so sure I would want you in that environment.”

“I have to ask again, why is that?”

“It’s just... it’s just that you’re a young woman, a beautiful one at that, and they might make certain comments that would make you feel uncomfortable.”

You scoffed. “I think I’ll be fine David. I can hold my own yknow.”

“I know, I know. I just, I don’t wanna see you get hurt or see you uncomfortable.”

“I promise, I’ll be fine. I’ll see you when I get off work, okay?”

“Okay.” He said with slight hesitation. “See ya then.”

______________________________________

You walked through your front door, yelling to your father that you were home.

“Dad! I’m home! Sorry, I got out a little bit late tonight.”

“Hey sweetheart, I’m in the dining room with the guys. Come say hi.”

You began to walk back to the dining room to say hello.

You immediately regretted it.

“Hey baby, come here often?” One of them joked.

“You wanna come sit down sweetheart? You look like you’ve had a long day. I gotta spot waiting for ya” another stated, patting his lap.

You awkwardly smiled and waved at them. Your father, David, and Lee all had angry expressions plastered on their face. They didn’t say anything as to not upset the men. They needed almost every single one for a successful poker night. It was just easier to not start anything.

“It’s nice seeing you all” you said through gritted teeth, not meaning a single word.

“I’m gonna go upstairs now, and if you gentleman would stick to the downstairs bathroom that would be great.”

You needed to take a shower, but you weren’t going to announce that to a room full of drunken men, who were obviously having too much fun as it was.

You turned on your heel and scurried up the steps. You ran into the bathroom immediately, locking the door behind you.

God, I hate poker nights.

You stared at yourself in the mirror before stepping into the shower. You didn’t even understand why they were hitting on you so much. In your eyes, at least, there wasn’t much to look at, or even desire. You were insecure but tried not to show it. There were good days, and bad days. Today just happened to be a bad day.

You poked and prodded your every insecurity, hoping that this would remedy the issues and make them disappear.

It wasn’t successful.

You finally decided to get undressed and get in the shower. Your turned both nozzles on, waiting for the water to get warm. Once it was a comfortable temperature you stepped in the shower, letting your mind wander.

You never knew why, but your mind always wanted to think about the sheriff. His muscular figure, with his big belly to give him some cushion so he was soft enough to lay on. His cute nose. And his uniform. He looked so stern and yet soft at the same time. Ready to kick someone’s ass but also ready to protect you when he needed to.

You were pulled from your thoughts as you heard a slight chuckle coming from the doorway. You pulled back the curtain to reveal the door was cracked. No one was there, but you could’ve sworn you shut and locked it upon entering just moments ago. You were leery but decided to let it go. You continued to wash your body and your hair. You heard the chuckle again. You didn’t hesitate this time, pulling back the curtain as fast as you could, but still covering your body.

You made direct eye contact with another man from the office. You couldn’t think of his name in that exact moment, being too mortified to even let your thoughts process what was going on.

You screamed. You screamed as loud as you could prompting Officer Dowd to begin sprinting down the stairs. Fortunately, your father and Lee were up in a flash hearing you scream. He was caught.

Lee shoved Officer Dowd against the wall as you wrapped yourself in a towel and made it halfway down the steps.

“Looks like we got a peepin’ Tom. You like looking at girls in the shower huh? You like it when you get to stare at them with their clothes off?”

He didn’t let Officer Dowd answer the question. Lee gave him a swift punch to the face before another breath escaped his body.

Officer Dowd landed on the ground with a thud. Lee got on the ground and spoke to him lightly.

“Now let that be a warnin’. If I catch you anywhere near Y/N again, I’ll put you in the damn ICU. And that is a promise you bet I’m keeping. I know we’re playin’ poker, but I ain’t bluffin’.”

Lee stood up abruptly and say your father holding you as you sobbed into his chest.

He hated to see you cry.

Lee remembered the first time he ever saw you extremely distraught. Some local high school boys were making fun of how you looked. He knew that sort of stuff normally didn’t bother you, but he could tell what they said was more than a few insults.

You came through the door absolutely sobbing. Lee happened to be over at the time, concerned something worse may have happened to you. You explained some stupid high school boys were just harassing you and you shouldn’t be as upset as you were. He held you for two hours that day trying to get you to calm down. He had never felt a pit in his stomach like that before in his life.

He loathed that people made you feel this way.

Your father finally spoke “I think it’s safe to say poker night is over. If you have any issues, I’m sure Bodecker would love to speak to you right now.”

______________________________________

As the men cleared out, Deputy Howser and Lee stayed to make sure you were okay.

They waited until your father calmed you down.

Deputy Howser came in first. He totally wanted to say “I told you so” but he didn’t. Thank god. You think you might have punched him if he did. Instead, he just told you how his wife would bake you your favorite cookies tomorrow and he would bring them over after work. You thanked him, finally leaving. To be honest, you just wanted to be alone.

That was, until you saw Lee come into your room to check on you. You didn’t even know he was still here. You knew he cares about you, but not to this extent. Deputy Howser was your best friend, and obviously your dad cares, but Lee was only a family friend. You saw him all the time, but this was different.

“Hey darlin’, how ya feelin’?”

You smirked “How would you feel if you caught a grown man trying to spy on you while you were taking a shower?”

He smiled back “Fair ‘nough”

He closed the door behind him and sat down on the bed next to you.

It was silent for a moment. You appreciated it, but it was still awkward. You decided to be bold.

“How come you stuck around to check on me?”

Lee was taken aback by this question. He just punched a man for you, why would he not stay to check snd make sure you were doing okay?

“Sweetheart, I just socked the man who was tryin’ to do you harm. Why wouldn’t I stick around to make sure you were okay?”

You thought for a moment.

“I just didn’t think you cared about me that much.”

Again, Lee was shocked. How could you be saying this?

“Y/N, if I didn’t care about ya, your dad would’ve known about all your shenanigans a long time ago. Course I care about ya. You mean a lot to me.”

Your stomach started to turn. Not in a queasy way, but more nervous. You didn’t know why.

“Lee?”

“Yes darlin’?”

“Would you, would you mind if you gave me a hug before you left? I just, I need to be held right now.”

He sat there and thought for a moment. About what, you don’t know, but he finally nodded and opened his arms. You took it upon yourself to sit in his lap while he wrapped his arms around you.

You could hear his heartbeat and breathing. It was soothing. You needed that after the day you had.

Something in the air felt off though. You weren’t sure what, but you knew it felt different.

You looked to Lee for a response but all he had to offer was a soft smile. Your faces were dangerously close to one another. He caressed your hair, lovingly while you continued to stare into each other’s eyes.

You decided to be bold.

You leaned in quickly for a kiss.

At first, Lee resisted, confused as to what was going on, but eventually gave into your soft lips.

You held them there for a moment, enjoying the touch. You began to deepen the kiss as time went on, sucking on his lower lip while he sucked on your upper lip. You stayed that way for what felt like an eternity. Lee began to dip his tongue into your mouth. You accepted it and continued like this for even longer. The passion in the way he was kissing and holding you was unreal. Unlike your ex-boyfriend Lance, he seemed to care that you were enjoying it too.

You finally pulled apart and made eye contact.

He smirked.

“This isn’t what I thought was gonna happen when you said you needed to be held.”

You smiled back

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

You went in for another kiss, but Lee quickly spun you around and pinned you to the bed.

“I know ya got a mouth on ya doll, but I call the shots. Talk like that again and I’ll have to spank your ass.”

“Yes, Sheriff.” You said coyly.

“Although I love you calling me Sheriff, you’ll address me as daddy.”

Your pussy throbbed at the sound of calling him that.

“Yes, daddy.”

He smiled.

“How bout we get these clothes off?”

You nodded eagerly. He ripped off your clothes in a flash, with no time to waste. He had already been in your room for an uncomfortable amount of time. Your father might come in at any moment.

“Can I touch this pretty pussy, babydoll?” He stated, hovering over your mound.

You nodded again, almost breathless at the thought of him touching you.

He slowly entered you with two fingers. A soft moan escaped your lips, grabbing onto his other arm that was propping him up.

“Fuck, you’re so tight darlin’, can’t wait to put my cock in you.”

He pumped in and out of you at a slow pace. He didn’t know how much experience you had, trying to be as gentle as possible.”

“Daddy go faster.”

“Daddy go faster, what?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Daddy go faster, please.”

He grabbed the sides of your throat lightly to assert dominance. You assume it was because you rolled your eyes. Damn your attitude sometimes.

“Now, we don’t roll our eyes at our daddy, do we?”

“No, I promise I won’t do it again daddy. Please go faster.”

He obliged and starts pumping his fingers in and out of you at a rapid pace. A louder moan escaped your lips again, this time Lee shot his hand up to cover your mouth.

“Shhh, we have to be quiet darlin’. Wouldn’t want your old man to find out what we were doin’. I don’t see it endin’ well for either of us.”

You nodded as you rode his fingers. Your walls fluttered around his fingers. You felt the right coil in your stomach, preparing yourself for an orgasm.

Just as you felt the wave of pleasure coming, Lee pulled his fingers out of you.

You looked up in confusion, only to see Lee with his pants pulled down and holding his cock.

Wow.

He was huge.

He began stroking it.

“You ready sweetheart?” He whispered into your ear softly.

You nodded again, just wanting to get back to the wave of pleasure you were about to experience.

“I don’t usually get to it this fast but considerin’ the circumstances I don’t wanna get caught.”

He began to press his head into you. He could feel you squeeze around him, driving him absolutely insane.

“Goddamn darlin’, I ain’t gonna last long if you’re this tight.”

You smiled, glad to make him feel good.

He leaned down to kiss you as he slowly started to pump in and out of you.

You moaned against his lips, unable to keep yourself from being quiet. His lips thankfully muffled your moans. He continued to pump in and out “fuck baby, tell me how bad you want it.”

You whispered against him “I want it so bad daddy, please go faster. Fuck me as hard as you can.”

Lee couldn’t control himself. He picked up his pace and began pounding into you, careful not to make too much noise with the bed frame.

“Oh fuck, daddy, oh god don’t stop.”

“You like this baby? Huh? You like how your daddy pounds your pussy?”

You nodded, almost completely incoherent and responded with a soft “yes daddy, god yes.”

The coil in your stomach came back, making you arch your back, also allowing Lee to fuck you deeper.

Lee began speaking again “Who’s pussy does this belong to?”

“It belongs to you daddy!”

“Keep sayin’ it, keep telling’ me who owns this pussy”

“You daddy, oh god it belongs to you!”

The wave of pleasure began to wash over you as you climaxed.

“That’s it baby, cum all over my cock, fuck yeah just like that” Lee whispered back.

Lee could tell you were about to moan, so he covered your mouth just in time for you to cum. Only seconds later did Lee let out a similar moan, muffled by his head being buried in your hair. He pulled out of you abruptly and began stroking his cock. He came all over your stomach and tits, making a mess of your body. He quickly got up and put his clothes on, also grabbing tissues to wipe off your body.

You laid on the bed, left breathless of what transpired.

Lee laid down next to you, only for a little bit. He didn’t want to fuck you and leave. He was better than that. Well, at least he thought he was. Other women might not agree.

You slid over to lay on his chest, still completely undressed.

You laid like this for a little while before looking to Lee.

“Lee?”

“What sweetheart?”

“Can we add this to the list of ‘shenanigans’ you won’t be telling my father?”

[wonnoy]

thank the beer

warnings: none?

[][][

Tsukishima was not one foreign to the drink in the brown bottle but was foreign to you by his side whilst he drank.

Well, not exactly right next to him. You were across the table from him in his house, drinking across from him. You were wearing an ill-fitted sweatshirt and a baggy set of sweatpants, clearly someone who wasn't dressing to impressing.

You came over in a rush that night, under the agreement that you just hadn't seen him in ages and wanted to see him one more time before you left indefinitely for furthering your career. However, Tsukishima knew differently. He was smarter to know that you came here because you either needed an escape from your normal friends or a break from your house. He wondered what was up now, he wasn't really in the loop anymore.

Tsukishima would say it was his fault, but he's got too big of a pride to say anything other than that. You and him was just something that wouldn't come to be. At least that's what he thinks and he's normally correct.

You took another swig and hacked a bit which caught his attention. Under the yellow light on his ceiling, you were bathed golden and he could see your lips glisten because of the liquor on them. Even with you rushing here, in what seemed to be more than second hand clothing, you were just so pretty. You had no make-up on, face maybe a little flushed because of your hacking. Tsukishima could blame the liquor all he wants, but he knew you looked absolutely beautiful.

He snickered at your fit, "keep your germs over there," and he hid his smile behind his own bottle. You looked over at him with a small glare, but it melted away with a grin of your own. You then started to down your drink again and Tsukishima watched.

After suckling down the drink in your hands you blew out a loud breath, "that hits the spot, beautiful burn!" you cheered with a smile. Out of the corner of your eye, Tsukishima made eye contact with you and he blamed the burn in his stomach to be from the liquor.

"Amateur," he muttered into his bottle before trying to down it as quick as he possibly could. His eyes shut, trying to focus solely on the drinking at hand but he could hear you shuffling across from him. He peeked an eye open to see you shaking your fist at him, a smile stretching wide across your lips.

It started off quiet, your voice not carrying in his tiny living room until it started to ring in his ears as you chanted the word 'chug'.

He felt like he was back in college again, you doing the same thing with the both of you at a frat party. He's only known you from college, regrettably, because he believes he was at his peak in high school. Especially for when he was playing volleyball - how much he would've loved to see your short-ass (anyone 1 cm shorter than him) cheering for him in the stands. You would have been yelling for him the same way that you are yelling at him to chug this damned bottle.

Tsukishima's throat was a little sore when he finally took the bottle off of his lips to fully look at you. The buzz that was there in the beginning was more than just a little strong now.

You ended your chant with a big cheer and shot to your feet, empty bottle still in your hand. Tsukishima only saw you teleport from the floor to the air. Boy did it confuse his poor soul and he almost fell backwards out of drunken surprise.

You giggled a little at the sight because you definitely saw it, so he adjusted his glasses.

"I still did it better than you," he mumbled, putting his empty bottle down. He was done drinking for the night, he's not the best at suppressing his actions when he's drunk. His eyes flitted from between you and the various empty cans or bottles behind you, clearly you weren't thinking the same thing. Soon enough he was going to tell you that you need to stop drinking. If he didn't, he would be sucked in to drinking some more as well and again he doesn't trust his drunk self.

Now he knows he's had too much to drink, revisiting feelings he keeps convincing himself sober that he doesn't have.

"Wake-up you dino," you were lounging on the floor now, swinging a bottle between your fingers and looking up at the ceiling. Tsukishima's face twisted a bit when you called him a dino, you've been calling him that ever since you caught him in his dinosaur onesie cracking his back.

You both just stood in the hallway of his apartment in silence before you quietly turned away.

Tsukishima shifted where he sat to stretch out his knees, glancing down at you. You were no longer smiling but instead had your lips pressed together and eyes were instead glazed over.

He was silent moving next to you, he knew when he was needed and to not speak. To instead let you talk to him instead of him forcing you. You sniffled a little, not looking in his direction. Your hand was no longer swinging around a bottle and instead just resting next to your side.

"I have to let you know before I leave," you choked back a little on your words, it was hard enough for Tsukishima to understand you because of the apparent slurring of words. Tsukishima looked down from the ceiling and went to lay on his back, turning his head to look at you.

He knows your flushed cheeks weren't solely because of the liquor but because of how close you were to crying. He just didn't know what and he was confused on how to approach it, so he stayed silent listening.

"It hurts, I know, I know that I-I've tried to distract myself-" you had to stop yourself from speaking because of the sudden hiccup you had. Tsukishima was well aware of what you were talking about. You had a lot of boyfriends over the span of two years. You had a strict 'no boys or girls' rule ever since he knew you. It was partly why he was constantly denying himself of how he felt about you. But up until two years ago, you all of a sudden had a new one, one right after the other.

You never seemed bothered about the break-ups, thankfully, on your end at least.

"But I couldn't even bring myself to kiss them!" you exclaimed, your arms flailed out and nearly smacked him in the face. He narrowly dodged you and just kept staring at you incredulously. All those men, at least 14, he remembers them all. He's always had such a good memory too, so it wasn't hard.

You coughed a little, "every time I tried, all I would see is your face," you sobbed out. Tsukishima's eyes widened just a bit after hearing you admit that to him. You turned your head, eyes rimmed red now and very subtle traces of tears coming down your cheeks. Normally he would have 'tched' at you before showing you tough love. But, that's not what you needed right now. That much he could tell.

Tsukishima watched you sniffle aggressively, "I can't say, I can't say I don't like-like you Kei," the last part came out barely audible but Tsukishima heard it loud and clear.

He sat up slowly and you followed him with your eyes. What was he supposed to do about this? He shouldn't take advantage of it and make you suffer even more for when you have to leave. If he acted on it too much, you might just stay and he couldn't do that to you.

So he did what any other irrational, slightly drunk man would do.

He leaned down and gave you a light kiss on the lips, one both of you closed your eyes to. One that was gentle because you needed gentle right now. It didn't last more than a couple seconds before he pulled away and looked at you. His heart thumped at the sight of your eyes still closed, lips slightly puckered.

He's waited years to kiss you and now that he finally has - he can't just let go of it right?

"If it's that bad, I might just have to come with you then," he smirked down at you. At that comment, your eyes flew open at him, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Yes, it was probably irrational for him to say that out of the blue. But as he stared at your right now, his brain is muddled with the endless things he'd do with you guys together because he knew you liked him too.

It was okay to be irrational every once in a while for you.

-xx-

(extended ending)

the next few weeks were filled with him making phone calls every waking hour and you asking him (every waking hour) if he was sure that he wanted to come with you. tsukishima isn't a very patient man but he answered with no hesitation every time you asked.

every time he'd reassure you with a kiss on your forehead and a gentle hug. he'd feel you relax in his hold, molding slightly against him, before letting go and continuing to get his life straight enough for him to leave with you.

he had to get a new job, call up that annoying kuroo to help him secure things he wasn't sure how to do. he had to swallow his pride for that. he called family members, old friends, teammates, and just about everyone that was close to him to let him know he was leaving the country with you.

and the next few years after that, tsukishima can proudly say, with watching you waddle around the house pregnant, it was not something he regret or could ever regret.

even when you have him running to the convenience store in his footie-dino pj's to get you butter-pickle slices.

[][]

aw

[matbarzyy]

How about #8 with beau ?

A/N: Don’t ask me how this turned into something so long, it just did, so I hope you’ll like it. The prompt was “I’m crying on the bathroom floor, how do you think I feel?”

Word count: 1897

Warnings: abuse (family, mentioned but not detailed, mostly just yelling)

.

You had always been convinced that Anthony Beauvillier’s niceness had to be fake. There was just something about him that you felt was… different. Something was off with him and you could never get used to having him around.

It was a bit of an issue considering he was always with Mat and Mat just happened to be dating your best friend, Sarah. No matter what you said, they always thought it was great that the two of you could hang out so that you wouldn’t be third wheeling, and at first they even hoped you’d end up together.

After months of bickering between the two of you, it was now obvious that you would never date, but you were still forced to deal with each other. Tito couldn’t be excluded from your best friend’s birthday celebrations, and neither could you.

“I’ll be right back,” you excused yourself from a conversation to go outside.

The noise of the party was too much for you tonight. As hard as you tried, you weren’t having a good time and you were truly glad that Sarah was busy with Mat and some other people for now. You had been with her all day long doing as much as possible for her to enjoy her birthday, but now you really needed a break from everyone.

You had bigger things to worry about, and you knew you were far from done with the worrying when you saw your little brother was calling you.

“Tommy, what’s wrong?” You picked up the phone instantly. You wished you could have answered like a normal person, just saying hello and asking him how he was, but with the way things were at home you knew him calling past ten pm couldn’t be good.

“Jack is yelling again,” the ten years old sniffled.

“Where’s mom?” You asked instinctively though you knew she’d do very little to help.

“He’s yelling at her,” he told you, which only relieved you a little.

“Okay, and where are you?” You continued to assess the situation as calmly as you could despite wanting to break down and cry.

“Under my bed,”

“It’s all going to be okay,” you felt tears sting your eyes despite your best efforts. “You just stay where you are, and stay really quiet, can you do that for me?”

“I’m scared,” he almost whimpered, making you wish you could instantly teleport to his side, or even better, to kick the ass of the person scaring him.

“I know baby,” you wiped your thumbs under your eyes to get rid of the tears. There was nothing you could do in this moment except help him get through it. “I’ll be there in three days, remember? I’ll come home and we can pack your things and you’ll go to this really nice school in New York and make tons of new friends,”

“I want to go now,” the little boy complained.

“I want that too. It’ll be really fast, you won’t even see time go by, okay? I bought you those spiderman bed sheets you told me about, remember those?” You held yourself together and did your best to distract him.

Tommy listened, chiming in every now and then, but you could still tell he was scared from his muffled crying and quiet sniffles. Every little sound made your heart shatter more. You remembered being in his place, scared of a man and hiding in your closet or under your bed when you were even younger than him. You remembered trying to call the police only for your mom to get angry at you after the officers had taken you back home to her. You remembered the helplessness knowing that no one would help you.

It wasn’t Jack, at the time, but the situation was the same. You believed it had stopped when Tommy was born and your mom took you away with him when he was just a baby to get you to a safer apartment. You believed he was safe when you applied to a college so far from him, you believed it would all be okay and you could come visit during holidays.

It took less than a semester for things to turn sour again, for Tom to call you crying in the middle of the night and for your mom to lie to you about her new boyfriend every time you managed to get her on the phone too. Now, the guilt of leaving was eating at you and you would do anything to fix it.

Ever since Tom’s first call, you had been saving up all you could to book a flight to take him to New York with you. Your apartment was small, but you didn’t have a roommate so you wouldn’t bother anyone by letting Tom live with you. You’d only have to sort your schedule out according to his own school times.

You weren’t in the mood to deal with the party anymore when you went back inside, but it was still going full force around you. Mat’s place was big, so there were more people than you could count and you found that far too many were gigantic hockey players as you struggled to push your way through the crowd to the bathroom.

You went straight into Mathew’s bedroom, knowing it was off limits during the party and that his attached bathroom would be quiet and unoccupied. It’s not like you hadn’t been there before, neither he or Sarah would be mad at you for hiding in there once you’d tell them why.

You hadn’t shared your family history with many people, but Sarah was the only person who knew everything about you and you had drunkenly told Mat most of the story one night when you were hanging out with the two of them.

You sobbed your heart out on the floor, splashing cold water on your face when you calmed down only to break down again minutes later and making your eyes go even redder if possible. Your makeup had been washed down the drain by now, and your top was damp from the water that had run down your neck whenever you tried to regain a bit of composure.

It was uncomfortable and you were debating just stealing some of Mat’s clothes and locking yourself in his guest bedroom for the rest of the night.

You were still sitting on the cold tiles when a sound disturbed you. It might have been Mat coming into his room, and maybe with Sarah, so you were about to push yourself up to make yourself known when the door to the bathroom was pushed open.

Anthony stood there with wide eyes when he found you, any snarky comment he could have made dying on his tongue when he saw the way you looked.

“Um, are you feeling okay?” He asked, awkwardly shuffling on his feet.

“I’m crying on the bathroom floor, how do you think I feel?” You glared at him, but you knew you probably just looked like a pathetic mess. “What are you even doing here?”

“There’s a line for the bathroom out there, I didn’t think anyone would be here,” he explained, looking back behind himself to check that no one had followed him into the room.

“Yeah well, guess I’ll remember to lock the door next time.” You scoffed, wiping your face clean of tears again while he remained there completely still. “Are you so amused by the fact that I’m having a horrible night that you’re just going to stand there and watch?”

“I’m not amused.” He shook his head, finally unfrozen. “Can I sit with you?”

“You’re joking, right?” Your voice cracked at the end of your sentence, weak from your crying, and you tried to pass it off as a cough.

“I’m not heartless, I don’t think you deserve to be alone right now.” Anthony gave you a look that told you you weren’t fooling him with your fake coughing. “I’d get Sarah but she’s probably too drunk to be any help,”

“You can sit if it’ll make you shut up,” you eventually grumbled, too tired to spend more time arguing with him.

Tito nodded and closed the door behind himself before he sat down beside you.

He did as you asked and kept his mouth shut. He could have been out there with his friends having a good time, but somehow he chose to remain by your side. You despised him a little less for that. There were better people to bring you comfort, but he was all you could get right now and you were thankful that someone was there to keep you from getting in your head even more.

“You don’t suck as much as I thought you did,” you eventually broke the silence, earning a chuckle from him.

“Thanks… I guess,” he cleared his throat. “Can I ask why you got that impression?”

“Guys that look nice and act nice are always too good to be true,”

“So you hate me because you’re attracted to me?” He turned to look at you and you gave him a disgusted look.

“I’m not attracted to you!” You exclaimed while he scoffed.

“Yeah, right,” Tito rolled his eyes, not buying your lie.

“Did I mention that you’re annoyingly cocky?” You added to prove your point, and he nodded like he had been expecting that answer.

“I guess you have now,” he waited for whatever insult you were going to throw at him next, but you turned quiet instead.

“Sorry,” you whispered after a moment.

“For what?”

“We’re not friends, and you found me crying here and stuck around instead of running away and now I’m being a bitch to you,” you pretended to pick at things in the fabric of your jeans so that you wouldn’t have to look at him.

“Doesn’t change much from the way we usually interact,” he replied and saw the way your shoulders hunched a little further. “Hey, I’m only joking,” he immediately went back on his words. He had only meant to poke you to earn another of your sassy replies.

Instead, he had made you cry again and now he didn’t know what to do. Hesitantly, he lifted his hand and placed it on your back to rub what he hoped would be soothing circles. You didn’t look at him, but you leaned into the touch and it was enough for him to pull you into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out between sobs, your voice half muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay,” Tito let you hide against his chest. “You’re the boldest person I’ve ever met, and you’re brilliant. There’s nothing in this world you can’t handle,” he ran his hand up and down your back, feeling you slowly settle against him. “Whatever is going on, I know you’re going to make it all okay eventually,”

“It’s scary,” you admitted through a whisper, and Tito hugged you tighter.

“You’re safe here.”

“I know,” you breathed out, relaxing into his arms and letting your eyes fall shut as you focused on the sound of his heartbeat.

There was a lot left for you to do before things could be okay, but in that moment in Anthony’s arms you were safe, and you knew you would get there.

.

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[buoyantsaturn]

megamind type beat (1/1)

warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

summary: If Nico asked, Will might even let the world fall to ashes around them.

word count: 2025

read on ao3

Will Solace was a little bit in love with Nico di Angelo.

Everything about Nico was perfect in Will’s eyes, despite how opposite the two of them were. While Will was incredibly extroverted, Nico was quiet and reserved, though when the two of them were alone, Nico would light up - and sometimes, it was difficult to get him to shut up once he got excited. The two of them already spent almost every waking hour together, but Will would make it more in a heartbeat if he could.

If Nico asked, Will might even let the world fall to ashes around them.

Nico knew more about Will than anybody in the world, though there was one secret Will had never been able to share, no matter how much he wished he could, and that was the truth about Will’s identity.

He knew nothing about Will’s superpowers, or the high-tech weapons that Will kept locked away but always nearby in case of a supervillain-sized emergency. It was the only thing that Will had ever kept from Nico, but every day Will felt like Nico never really knew the real him.

And, okay, he’d never told Nico how he felt about him, either.

Will never wanted to risk ruining their friendship over a dumb crush (which was how it started, but now Will really was fully head-over-heels in love with Nico), especially when Nico didn’t really seem to have many other friends, so Will had never acted on his feelings.

It didn’t help that, just about every time that he did plan some way to confess, the world would start falling down around them. And, of course, it was Will’s job to fix that.

As Solar Flare, Will was the perfect hero to fight Nightmare, a villain who only attacked the city at its darkest times, both physically and emotionally. He had confessed to Solar Flare once that he often waited until the city was at its weakest, late at night or after some kind of tragedy, because it would be easier to cause mass chaos and destruction. Will sometimes wondered if Nightmare caused those tragedies as a setup for the next night’s evil plan.

Will had been on his way to surprise Nico with pizza and video games when he heard the city’s siren go off. It was one that had formerly been used to warn about incoming tornadoes, but now was recognized to mean supervillains are attacking, take cover. Will had hastily handed off his box of pizza to a homeless man on the nearest corner before ducking into an alleyway to change into his bright white-and-yellow spandex suit. (Why did heroes always have to wear spandex? There was never any padding in those things, and he bruised like a peach.)

Will had appreciated the quietness of the last week - he’d gotten to spend plenty of time with Nico and caught up on some of the homework from his community college classes (because he couldn’t rely on a superhero’s salary forever) - though he’d been getting antsy about his next fight with Nightmare. He could feel that the other had had something cooking for sometime, and Will had a few new weapons he wanted to try out, as well.

He caught up with Nightmare in the middle of Central Park; it hadn’t been difficult to trace the pained screaming back to that spot. The villain’s clothes were always black as night, likely to make it easier for him to move around undetected in the darkness, and his head was surrounded by something similar to a solid black motorcycle helmet. When Will had first seen it, it had reminded him of Daft Punk - though mentioning that had gotten him shot with some kind of laser-ice-beam gun that left him with a minor case of frostbite in the middle of summer. Will was certain that the inside of that helmet was full of computer screens, similar to how Iron Man’s helmet looked in the movies.

Will tried to sneak up on him, but his helmet must’ve gotten an upgrade recently - new sensors, or maybe a backup camera - because that creepy, auto-tuned voice that the helmet produced announced, “You’re late to the party, Lampshade Man.”

Will huffed. “It’s Solar Flare, and you know that.”

“Sure,” Nightmare replied, “but you’re cute when you pout like that.”

Will blinked, thrown off guard for just a second, though it wasn’t long enough for Nightmare to spin around and shoot him with some kind of stun gun. Will avoided the shot easily, and charged forward in an attempt to tackle Nightmare, though the other seemingly vanished into thin air before appearing again a few feet away.

“What’s the plan, Nightmare?” Will demanded, staying on his toes but knowing that this game of cat and mouse would only tire himself out.

“I could ask you the same question,” he replied. “Haven’t you figured it out yet?”

He had, actually, but he’d wanted a confirmation. He’d stayed up too late after too many fights, piecing together little bits of information here and there until the wall of his bedroom looked like a total conspiracy theory board. Some of the weapons Nightmare had been testing, some of the things he’d mentioned from his past in his evil monologuing, it was all leading up to one thing. A machine that could suck the soul out of a person in order to bring someone back to life. The only thing Will couldn’t figure out was why.

His mind jumped back to Nico, as it so often did. How he’d mentioned the loss of a sister, and how he would do anything to bring her back, if only he’d had the power. It had broken Will’s heart at the time, and now, seeing Nightmare trying to do something similar, Will was filled with rage.

“You can’t play God,” Will told him, his voice shaking with anger. “Everybody loses somebody important, and there’s nothing you can do to bring them back. All you’re going to do is hurt innocent people, and make others feel the same pain of losing a loved one. Now, destroy your machine, or I’ll be forced to do it for you.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Nightmare said, holding up a remote and hitting one of the buttons. Suddenly, the screaming around them amplified as more people succumbed to what must have been a horrible pain. Will glanced around, trying to locate some sort of central point, though the noise was echoing all around them.

“What are you doing to them?” Will demanded, his eyes searching for Nightmare, though he only saw subtle flashes in the dark - the villain was taunting him, moving just too fast for Will to see.

“Draining the life out of them, of course,” Nightmare said, suddenly right behind him, and Will barely had a second to whip around and attack. Normally, he would aim for the head to incapacitate his enemy - a bank robber, or some drunk trying to start a street brawl - but the helmet prevented Nightmare from taking damage that way, so Will aimed for the stomach instead.

Luckily for him, it appeared that villains were a part of the spandex curse as well, because Nightmare had nothing to cushion the impact of Will’s elbow into his gut. Nightmare groaned from the hit, curling inward and allowing Will the time to spin around and continue his assault.

He’d never gotten close enough to touch Nightmare - always fighting with ranged weapons at a distance - but now that he could, he hardly believed that there was really a person inside Nightmare’s suit. His body was so cold to the touch, and whenever Will tried to grasp at an arm or a leg, his hand almost seemed to pass through him before finding purchase.

And Nightmare, it seemed, was better at hand-to-hand combat than he was with a weapon. Despite being smaller in stature, he nearly overpowered Will more than a few times, leaving Will to resort to reaching for a weapon for what he hoped was the last time.

He could end it all - he finally had Nightmare in his grasp, and he could finish him. Will could go back to fighting petty crime and spending his nights on the couch beside Nico, stuffing himself full of junk food and bingeing movies. He could get his life back, and all it would cost was him taking the life of someone else.

Wasn’t that what this was leading up to all along?

Will pulled a small, golden dagger from his belt and lodged it between Nightmare’s ribs, feeling the other man suddenly solidify, hearing him gasp through the strange auto-tuned effect, and then he collapsed, the remote falling out of his hand as he did so.

Will lunged for the remote. He couldn’t see it very well in the dark, but there were only a few buttons, so one of them had to be off. He jammed at each button until the screaming around them started to die down, no longer cries of active pain but of a slowly fading injury, shouts of fear and shouts for help.

Will would check on all of them soon. First, he needed to unmask his long-time enemy.

He could hear Nightmare’s pained breathing being projected through his helmet, though his breaths were shallow. Will could barely see any movement of his chest in the distant glow of the streetlight, though he saw the shine of blood pouring from the knife wound in his chest. Will knelt beside him and reached for the helmet, tugging it off without trying to cause any more unnecessary injury, and the object nearly slipped between his fingers when Will’s eyes landed on the face he revealed.

He tossed the helmet aside, bending down to get a closer look and brushing the hair out of the other man’s face and there was Nico, his Nico, the love of his life with a knife wound in his chest, Will’s knife sticking out of his chest, and Will couldn’t breathe.

“No,” Will choked, forgetting everything he learned from his CPR training and pulling Nico’s head to rest on his lap as tears started to streak down his face. “No, this can’t be happening. You can’t be--”

“Will,” Nico croaked, and Will’s heart stopped, but no, Nico wasn’t looking at him - he was looking past Will. He wasn’t about to beg Will for mercy, or plead for his life, or demand to know why his best friend had done this to him. He was calling, reaching out for some sense of comfort in the end, and Will felt himself sob.

“I’m right here,” Will whispered, reaching to apply pressure to the wound without jostling the knife, though Nico still grimaced in pain. “Sorry, I’m sorry. Nico,” he cried, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, I would never-- I love you, Nico, and help is on the way, okay? I’ll save you - I’ll do whatever it takes. I promise.”

“Will,” Nico tried again, and the movement of his tongue pushed a drop of blood from the corner of his mouth, “hurts.”

“I know,” Will replied, his vision clouding with tears. “Don’t talk, Nico. Save your strength. You’ll be okay.”

“Can’t--” Nico wheezed, and coughed, and choked.

“Nico,” Will said, louder than before, begging for his attention. “Nico, look at me.”

Nico’s eyes rolled back, and his head tipped to follow. Will patted his cheek, trying to wake him up once more, though all he did was smear Nico’s face with his own blood.

“No, no, no,” Will choked, curling forward to press his forehead to Nico’s. “I’m sorry, Nico, please, I’ll do anything!”

Nico didn’t move. He didn’t breathe.

Will lowered him back to the ground, and felt his hand hit something as it slid out from underneath Nico’s head.

The remote.

The remote to the machine Nico had created to bring his sister back to life. The remote that, at the cost of one other human life - or more, Will didn’t actually know - could bring Nico back to him.

Could Will bring himself to make that sacrifice?

His thumb hovered over the buttons.

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[ayybtch]

Alcoholic Juice Box

Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Summary: Adulthood sucks. You know what doesn’t suck? Blanket forts and alcoholic juice boxes.

Word count: 1,773

Warnings: Liberal use of the word ‘fuck’ and variations of the word ‘fuck’, brief mention of financial troubles, brief mention of crappy friends and family who are too focused on their own nonsense to care about the well being of anyone else, alcohol mentions and some alcohol consumption at the very end.

A/N: This maybe got a tad personal and self indulgent (oops). Before anyone asks, yes this was my actual stress response. I’m not proud of it but it worked! 😂 also, a very special thank you goes to the lovely @kellyn1604​ for giving this a quick read for me 💕

A Mutual Weirdness Masterlist 

Bucky sighed in relief as he finally sat down in the back of the Quinjet. He, Sam, and Steve had been on a mission nonstop for the past twelve days tracking down Hydra agents. His whole body ached and he was desperate for some normal human interaction. Specifically, he was desperate for normal human interaction with you. All nonessential phone calls or text conversations had been prohibited, so it truly had been twelve days of uninterrupted Steve and Sam. Normally they made for great company and he enjoyed being around them. But now? Now Bucky was almost ready to never see their faces again. He thought on multiple occasions during the mission that all SHIELD trainees should have to endure Sam’s singing for hours on end as a part of their hostage training. If they can survive that with Steve’s occasional attempts at harmonizing, they can survive anything.

Once the Quinjet was in the air, he took out his phone and sent you a quick text saying they were on their way back. Not even a minute later, Bucky’s screen lit up with an incoming Facetime call from you. His heart surged at the thought of seeing you hours before he initially expected to and answered without a moment's hesitation. The smile written on his face fell as soon as he saw you.

You looked terrible. The exhaustion he felt after twelve days of work suddenly seemed like nothing compared to the exhaustion written on your face. You tried to smile at him, but the smile didn’t fully reach your eyes. Bucky’s gut twisted.

“Doll, what’s going on? Are you okay?” he asked, his voice dripping with worry.

You tried to nod yes but burst out in tears instead. The tears kept coming and after a few minutes, Bucky really started to worry.

“When you feel ready, take a couple deep breaths for me. Tell me what’s going on so I know how to help.”

It took a few minutes, but your tears started to slow and your breathing began to even out. Bucky smiled at you reassuringly as you took a few deep breaths before starting to talk.

“Bucky, I’m so sorry. You’ve been on a mission and here I am crying before you even had the chance to say hello,” you said, wiping away a stray tear rolling down your cheek.

“These past few days have just been really hard. Well, the past couple of months really, but everything’s starting to hit me all at once. School sucks, I can’t believe they’re allowed to charge me what they are. College is stressful enough as it is, why does paying for it have to be challenging too? I work thirty hours a week during the semester and over forty during breaks, yet I still can’t afford to go to school without taking out student loans. It’s bullshit. On top of all of that, I still have my regular bills to pay too!

“And as if financial stress isn’t enough, my family and friends have all decided that this week was the week to start up as much drama as possible…” you trailed off and a new round of tears began.

Bucky’s heart broke as he watched your body shake with each new sob. He desperately wished it was his hands wiping away your tears instead of your own.

The tears ended a little quicker this time, but the sadness didn’t quite leave your face as you started to speak, “My family is fighting over something stupid and using me as the go-between because I wasn’t there when the argument started. But at the same time, they’re bitching at me for ‘never being there’ when it’s their own fault for not inviting me!

“My friends are also upset that I don’t have the time to see them as often anymore and are bitching about that. One of them is freaking out in particular because she thinks she’s about to be dumped, while another is complaining about how much she doesn’t like being married because now her mother-in-law expects grandbabies. I’m fucking tired of everything and everyone.”

Bucky waited to see if you were going to continue before he spoke. “Doll, I am so sorry. That’s a lot to handle all at once. What can I do to help?”

You shook your head. “I don’t think there’s much you can do, Bucky. I just let things build up too much and they all exploded at once.” You paused for a moment and let out a bitter chuckle, “This whole adulting thing is a load of garbage. What a fucking scam. I can’t believe I ever wanted to grow up.”

Bucky couldn’t hold back his laughter. Before he could say anything though, you spoke up again

“You know what? Fuck it. I’m done being an adult. I’m going to go do something childish and ignore all my adult responsibilities.”

Bucky snorted. “Oh yeah? What childish thing are you going to do?”

You pondered for a moment, eyebrows furrowed together as you considered your options. Bucky could see the lightbulb go off in your head before a smug smile crept up onto your face. “I’m going to build a blanket fort. Nobody expects adult things from someone who’s hanging out in a blanket fort”

If you hadn’t looked and sounded so serious, Bucky would’ve laughed again. Instead, he just nodded and smiled.

You weren’t amused by his lack of enthusiasm. “Oh c’mon, are you really telling me that a blanket fort isn’t the obvious solution to my problems?”

Bucky went to reply, but you cut him off with a gasp as a look of pure joy swept across your face. The joy soon transitioned into a look that screamed pure chaos. Bucky suddenly felt nervous.

“I’m going to go to the store and get juice boxes before I start. The blanket fort was a brilliant first step in my ‘Fuck The Scam That Is Adulthood’ plan, but the juice boxes -” you mimed a chef kiss “- are the icing on the cake.”

“Juice boxes, huh? That one’s a little surprising,” he teased. “Do you want me to make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to go along with that? Or maybe you’d like some fruit snacks?”

You smiled devilishly back at him, “Well, it needs to be an alcoholic juice box though. That’s the one part of adulting I do like, so it gets to be the exception.”

This time Bucky didn’t even bother trying to hold back his laughter. “I’m not sure anything describes you better than an alcoholic juice box.”

“Agreed. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go buy myself some juice boxes, make the blanket fort of my dreams, and then hide in it whilst pretending the world doesn’t exist. Come over as soon as you’re home and ready. Bring some food with you!”

The call ended abruptly and Bucky stared at the screen in disbelief for a moment before he chuckled. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, wondering how he ended up with someone as beautiful and crazy as you. He was still worried of course. Everything you had mentioned that was contributing to your stress was a lot. He fell asleep trying to plan out how to help you and what he could do to help keep things from being bottled up for this long again.

Three hours and a hot shower later, Bucky found himself walking up the steps to your apartment with food from your favorite Chinese restaurant in hand. He unlocked the door and made his way in, kicking off his shoes by the door.

“Doll, it’s me. Where are you?”

He heard you giggle slightly before calling out to him, “I’m in my room.”

He made his way back towards your room and his feet froze before he was fully in the door. He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. You had built the most massive blanket fort he had ever seen. Fort was no longer the appropriate word to use; it was a blanket castle. He knew you were chaotic, but this...this was an entirely new level of chaotic, even for you.

Chairs from the living room and kitchen had been brought in as support beams, packing tape was being used to hold up one side of a sheet against the wall, and couch cushions were arranged to create a small tunnel as an entrance to the fort. The empty bed frame suggested you had even moved your mattress onto the floor for the sake of this damn fort. Once the initial shock wore off, he crouched down and carefully crawled inside.

Every pillow and cushion in your apartment was inside the fort with you, along with the few blankets that somehow hadn’t been used in the fort itself. You were curled up under your comforter with a bottle of wine in hand.

“I have to say when you said you were building a blanket fort I certainly did not expect something this big.” He leaned forward and gave you a quick kiss to the forehead as you giggled at his surprise.

““That’s what you get for underestimating my fort-making abilities,” You took a long sip of wine straight from the bottle before handing it to Bucky.

“I commend you on your taste in juice boxes, though I’d hardly call this a box.” he teased. He held up the bottle and looked at it closer before adding, “You also seem to have drunk most of it already. Guess I should have brought my own.” He estimated there was barely enough wine left to fill half of a glass. You sat there and shrugged.

“I’ll have you know I did consider getting a boxed wine to be more authentic. I decided against it though because that one’s harder to casually drink from. But bottle, schmottle - it’s a minor detail at this point. As to your astute observation about that one being almost empty, there are two more in the fridge. You can go open one up if you’re wanting some,” You paused for a moment before continuing, “The far more important concern right now is if you remembered to get extra egg rolls. You know how much drunk me loves egg rolls.”

Bucky rolled his eyes before dutifully reaching into the bag of takeout that had been haphazardly pushed to the side and pulling out three orders of egg rolls. A happy squeal and a quick peck on the cheek was all he needed to think that maybe your approach to adulthood wasn’t half bad.

[punkassrichie]

Just Tonight pt 1

A/N: i’ve only written like,, one fic on this blog lol but i really love It so i decided to start up again. also just wanted to say i’m aware that beverie isnt an ideal ship, but i just love it sm 😪😪 it’s got all the angst i need and want >.< but anyway feel free to send me requests? i will do any and every ship bc that’s just how much i love everyone and everything. feedback would be much appreciated! <3 also this is a college au but i wanted the first part to be kind of like a back story, like what went on during their high school years. this fic was inspired by the song Just Tonight by The Pretty Reckless. feel free to give it a listen as well to get a feel of the theme for the fic lol

Warnings: angst, mentions of underage drinking and substance abuse, mentions of underage sex, mentions of SA and abuse, abusive and toxic relationships, cheating, mentions of suicide me projecting just a lil and Bev x Richie. college au. if i missed any lmk. oh aaaaand all of the character are bi LMAO k byeeee

Summary: Beverly and Richie were the cliche best friends. Going to the same high school, joining the same clubs, hanging out at the Aladdin and arcades, applying to the same colleges, telling each other their deepest darkest secrets. Being each other’s firsts. Falling in love. And neither of them knowing about it.

It was the last day of summer, barely going into high school the first time it happened. They were getting drunk and high together, just the two of them. At the time, Bev was with Bill, and Richie was pining after Eddie. Both of them sad because Bev loved Bill with all of her being, but she never felt right with him and Richie loved Eddie, who never made it clear whether he loved him back or not. Eddie was messing with his head a little bit. Not intentionally, he just didn’t have the confidence Richie did. And he wasn’t sure what he wanted.

Richie understood. He wasn’t going to force Eddie to do anything he didn’t wanna do. And if that included Eddie not wanting to be with him then so be it.

But man, did it fucking hurt.

So they both drank themselves sick, neither of them understanding why they were the way they were. They’d talked all hours of the night, drunk laughing and crying, and making dumb jokes until they started talking about things they’d never really touched on before. He’d ask her about her abusive father and she’d ask about his neglectful parents, both of them answering any questions they had.

They started talking about how Richie was still a virgin, and how he really wanted to have sex but not with just anyone. He drunkenly confessed to saving himself for Eddie, but knowing that wouldn’t happen because he knew Eddie wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship with him. It’s like Eddie wanted nothing to do with him.

Bev saw a tear stream down his eye, and she shouldn’t have, she knew she shouldn’t have but she leaned in to kiss him, she told herself it was just to comfort him but one thing led to another and before they knew it, their clothes were off and Richie was tossing her on his bed. With Richie, it felt so wrong but more right than Bill. In Bev’s head, it made sense.

The morning after, Bev had woke up crying. She wasn’t weeping.. it was more like soft sobs. Richie woke up and asked her what was wrong. She didn’t know.

“Is it because of Bill?” Richie asked, his face full of concern.

“No, and that’s the worst part.” She managed to squeak out between sobs. Richie just held her.

Bill was the last thing on her mind, and while she felt bad, she didn’t linger on the thought too much. She knew they wouldn’t last.

No, she just felt wrong. She always felt wrong. She liked it so much that she wanted to do it again and again and it filled her with shame. Guilt. She told herself she’d never be into it, not after her father ruined it for her. But still, she was. And she was disgusted with herself.

She finally told Richie after she couldn’t take her thoughts anymore. Richie assured her that she wasn’t wrong for feeling the way she did. That it was okay, and he had a great time. He was glad she did too.

She looked up at him, not understanding why he was so sweet to her. She didn’t deserve it, she thought.

This time it was Richie that leaned in to kiss her. She was shocked because he wasn’t drunk, and neither was she. She almost forgot that people don’t need to be drunk to have sex. She also forgot that it’s not really recommended. Eventually she melted into it. He was getting handsy and pulled back to let Bev know she can say stop at any moment and he would.

But she didn’t.

And that morning, Richie had went down on someone for the first time in his teen years, and Bev had her first real orgasm.

That’s when she became addicted to it.

-

Few years into high school, and Bev and Richie were still the best of friends. Not making things weird or “official.” Just two best friends that kiss sometimes (and sometimes that do more than kiss) and then act like it didn’t happen the next day. Almost all the time.

Before school started, Bev broke up with Bill. She knew what she wanted now and she wasn’t going to use Bill to get it. She always knew he was a sweetheart, and that he deserved better. She didn’t tell him what happened with Richie, and she made Richie promise he wouldn’t say anything either. Of course he did, but only if she did the same. She also didn’t tell Bill that she was gonna go around, chasing the high that she’d get from Richie, but with other people. He was heartbroken enough, she wanted to spare him at least some of the heartache.

Most of the time she’d just sleep with Richie. At first it was just convenient, and she trusted him, and him only. But then she realized it was because she didn’t feel comfortable with anyone else. She hadn’t realized it but she was falling for the boy. The thought would creep up in her head but she’d make it go away as fast as it appeared.

But all of that changed when Richie and Eddie started officially dating.

She wasn’t jealous, she couldn’t be. She loved him so much and was happy when he finally got to have the boy he pinned over all throughout his childhood. She knew he’d be happy.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t feeling a little lonely though, seeing as Eddie would take up all of Richies time. Of course she had the other losers, but it wasn’t the same. They didn’t understand her like he did.

And of course she lied, she was a little jealous that someone took her best friend away. But she had to suppress it because she knew her and Richie would never work.

Richie loved Bev too, but not like he loved Eddie. She knew that. She understood. She also knew she was incapable of loving someone. Or having anyone love her for that matter. She knew he loved Eddie and Eddie only.

She only started to question it when she started to sneak into his house through his bedroom window, sophomore year of course, after yet another rough night with her father. He knew. He understood. He was there. In more ways than one. Some nights he’d just hold her. When she was shaking, when she couldn’t stop crying, and especially when she couldn’t muster the words to tell him what had happened. Other nights she would be beneath him, asking begging him to make her forget. And he would. Because he loved her and wanted to show her. But the thought of love was questionable now because if he could do that to Eddie, what would he do to her? He and Eddie had only been together a few months then.

Eventually she realized what he would do to her.

One night she had biked over to his house, covered in bruises and blood. That night it had been really bad. She went over and climbed up his window, knowing the path up the tree all too well. His window was unlocked, his bed was made and the light was on. Except Richie wasn’t there. She looked over to the bed where there were fresh, clean clothes and a towel underneath them. She knew what it meant.

It was a silent “I can’t do this anymore, but i’m still here for you.” She knew that’s what it meant because for them, words never had to be exchanged. They could speak through gestures and they would just know.

She ended up leaving and finding a quick fuck on tinder. He ended up bruising her up even more. At least he got her a room and stayed with her until they both had to go their separate ways.

-

Sophomore year had ended and summer began. Bev and Richie were more distant than ever. She knew it was bound to happen but she never prepared herself for it. But that didn’t mean she was going to steal him away from the person he loved most.

So she took matters into her own hands. Once she realized she could be in control of her body, she started to get a little out of hand. She started talking to more people at school, trying to figure out if they were into her or not. She debated going on tinder again but there were so many missing person flyers all over town and she didn’t wanna end up on one of them. Not like that anyway.

She felt more comfortable with people she kinda knew. That was until she got involved with one too many football players. When school started up again, they began their “locker room talk” and once a lot of the boys figured out they had sex with the same girl, they’d tell everyone and label her a slut. Bev ended up being one of those girls. It got around school and even back to the cheerleaders which some of them had experimented with Bev that same summer too. Of course, they’d never say anything about it, mostly because they weren’t sure about their sexualities, but that didn’t stop them from bullying her either. Including Greta.

Greta Keene was the main one that ended up torturing Bev. Which was sad really, considering all the nights they had together. It was almost like Bev had found her replacement. She just forgot how cruel people can be.

She was forgetting a lot of things. Once the rumors were spread, some true, most of them not true- she forgot that she had friends she could trust and talk to and tell them what had happened. But she was scared mostly. She knew the losers didn’t believe the rumors anyway but she also knew that a part of them wondered.

So she distanced herself. First time with Richie, second time with the whole club. It wasn’t intentional, but she knew that if she kept up her actions, they’d be concerned. Or they would leave. And you can’t be left unless you leave first, right?

Bev felt like her life was in the gutter. That nothing mattered and nothing was real. She didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care about anything. Not about the rumors at school, not about the people taunting her and calling her a slut every 5 minutes, and not Richie. Definitely not Richie.

She still did what she thought was best for her, and if that meant drugs too, then drugs it was.

She wasn’t into anything hardcore, but she loved downers. She loved the fact that she could take a pill and it would make her numb and forget the events of that day, or the one before, or even after.

She changed. And everyone noticed.

The losers grew concerned. They’d see her walking down the halls, hair looking shaggy with baggy clothes (because anything she wore that was her size would get her called a ‘slut’ much more than it does when she wears clothes that isn’t), big shoes and sometimes when she would things her size, they could see the bruises on her arms, the cuts and scrapes on her knees and elbows, the hand shaped marks on her throat. She’d stretch and while her shirt rode up a little on her waist, you could marks on her hips too.

They were scared for her, and they knew something was up. They loved and care for Beverly so they weren’t going to let her go that easy.

One day, Bev skips out on school and all the losers noticed. It was weird, no matter how much she got bullied or beat (by Greta and her bitch clique and sometimes the Bowers gang), she’d never miss a day.

That’s when they all decided at lunch to skip their last three periods to spend it looking for her. They checked her house first, her dad telling them to fuck off and leave her alone, and if she went out and got herself killed then that was her own damn business. It made their blood boil, it made Richie wanna sock him right there and then. But Bill being Bill, just said thank you and walked off. Made Richie wanna sock him too.

They went to the barrens, quarry, clubhouse, everywhere and she was nowhere to be found. They headed back to school, heads hanging low in defeat, worried about her. They didn’t know what else to do but wait until her dad decided to file a missing person report.

The last bell rang and they all headed home, Bill told the rest of the losers that he would try to come up a plan to see what more they could do to try and find her. He didn’t wanna give up, although the rest of the losers already had.

Richie was walking Eddie home when he cried to him and told him that he shouldn’t have pushed her away the way he did, and that it was all his fault. Eddie just held him, not understanding the relationship the two had. He told him that everything would be okay anyway and that they would find her. Richie just nodded and continued to walk him home.

Eddie offered him to spend the night with him, like he had been doing all year but this time Richie politely declined. He doesn’t know why but something was telling him to go home. Go home and check.

He doesn’t tell Eddie, just tells him he might be coming down with something and that’s enough to make the hypochondriac stay away. For that night at least.

Richie kisses him goodbye and heads on home. And sure enough, there she was. Sitting in his steps, fumbling with something in her hands and mumbling to herself.

He throws his bike to the side and rushes over to her, asking her if she was okay or hurt. She just laughed.

She reeked of alcohol and had a small brown pill bottle in her hands. It was empty.

He kept asking her questions and grew more concerned when he see that her eye had been swollen shut. She was crying, but laughing at any question Richie had.

She was fucked up, it wasn’t hard to tell. Richie didn’t ask anymore questions and just helped her up. She refused but he still managed to get her up. While he helped her up the stairs and into his room, he asked her what she was on. She didn’t respond. He was growing frustrated but settled for asking her when she was sober. He helped her get cleaned up, and saw to her eye when she got out of the shower. He didn’t know much about first aid, but he knew what Eddie taught him.

She stopped crying and she was just silent, her eyes fluttering like she couldn’t keep them open anymore. When he was done, Richie set her down on his bed and held her while she slept. “Love you, Richie.” was the last thing she murmured before falling into a deep sleep.

Of course it hurt him, and of course he blamed himself. She needed him and he dropped her like she meant nothing to him. But it wasn’t like that. Now he wishes they could’ve just talked. If he hasn’t been so caught up with Eddie, maybe they could have.

It was 7pm the next day when she woke up. She seemed very confused, and was surprised when Richie was beside her, talking to Eddie on the phone. He wrapped up the call once he saw that she was awake, he had questions and he was going to get them. He was determined. He hung up and just sighed when he saw the state she was in.

“Bev, you’ve gotta tell me what’s been going on with you.” He says with a soft tone as he sits on his bed, facing her. She can barely look at him, feeling anxious and embarrassed. But she knows she can trust him.

“I-I havent been doing very well lately.” Is all she can manage to say. Then she starts to cry again. And just like he would before, he held her. He calmed her down and waited until she was ready to talk.

And when she was, she confided in him. She told him everything, how she’s been sleeping around to get by, how she found a specific drug that helped her sleep through the nights her dad wouldn’t let her, how some of the rumors at school were true, and how much she missed him and the rest of the losers. She told him that she didn’t wanna leave them the way she did, but she didn’t want them to leave first when they found out about her.

When she was done pouring her heart out, he just looked at her and hugged her. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. She was still for a second, but then wrapped her own arms around him.

And they remained in their position for a while. They didn’t talk about their little ‘situation’ they had gotten themselves into, nor did they want to. They hardly ever did. They just sat in silence for comfort.

After that months flew by once again, and things felt normal again. Bev got used to the bullying and harassment from her classmates but she didn’t have to deal with it alone anymore. The losers club made them back off actually, defending Bev until it got them suspended.

They didn’t care though, they wanted to show Bev they actually care about her and that she’s not alone. She learned to appreciate them more than she already did.

They started having more sleepovers than usual so that Bev wouldn’t have to stay at her dad’s so much, and they started calling her and checking up on her.

Richie was always making sure she was okay and telling her to text him whenever she got home or if she was going anywhere and back. Just to keep tabs, making sure she’s alright.

They didn’t sleep together anymore, and neither of them minded. At least that’s what they told themselves. Bev had a few fuck buddies since Richie, one of them being Greta.

“Why the fuck would you still be fucking her?” Richie exclaimed after Bev confessed that she was still fooling around with her despite being harassed by her and her clique.

She just shrugged. She couldn’t tell him it was because she couldn’t fuck him anymore, she didn’t want to pin anything on him. And she couldn’t tell him that she kind of liked the abuse.

Bev had all sorts of kinks that she wasn’t ready to talk about with just anyone, and she knows she could trust Richie, but she still feels a bit embarrassed and ashamed.

Before they knew it was summer again, and that was the first time they were all together again in a long time. Her friends changed and she didn’t even realize it. But so did she. She found comfort in knowing that they would accept her no matter what. And that she would too.

-

Senior year was the best year for the losers, but as well as the worst. They called it their Slack Off year. They had done so much work the years before just to be able to call it that. They’d have 3 classes the whole day and the rest were free periods. Their work really paid off. And it was so much better knowing they were all going to be at the same college. It would be an understatement to say they were excited for next fall. It was until someone new had come into the picture and changed everything.

Her name was Criss. She was new to Derry High. To the town in general.

Beverly swore she loved her. And she swore Criss loved her back. And how they came to be were the losers’ guess but they were happy for her nonetheless. Things with them were great at first. Bev finally seemed happy to have someone by her side at all times, happy to be lovey dovey with, and just happy in general. Beverly was in love to say the least.

The rest of the losers were obviously happy for her, but if anyone had asked Richie what he thought about Criss, he wouldn’t say what he was really thinking. He avoided the question if he could.

But then they started to notice the red flags in Criss, and they weren’t so sure about her. They’d notice when she’d lie about little things, the way she’d grip Bev’s arm when she was mad, the insults she’d scream at Bev whenever they were in a fight, the scenes she’d make when things just wouldn’t go her way. One time Bev showed up at the quarry with a freshly split lip, and they knew it wasn’t her father because she wouldn’t stay at her house anymore. They hated it, and they knew Bev hated it too.

Except Bev didn’t hate it- that much, because Criss wasn’t that bad. She’d ignore the losers when they expressed their concerns for her because she knew who she was deep down. Most importantly she was loved. That feeling alone was enough to make her fly high into the sky. She couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. She only hated the fact that she fell for a person who ended up not being what they said they were. But she convinced herself it was okay, and that she would be able to handle her. She loved her, and if that meant putting up with mild bruises and screaming matches, then so be it. She was just happy that someone loved her.

It wasn’t until Beverly caught her with Greta in her bed, that she knew it was too good to be true. That was the first time she felt her heart shatter. She didn’t go to the losers when she first saw them together, she went on a walk all by herself and not because she felt stupid, (oh but she definitely did) but because if she didn’t, she was convinced she might’ve offed herself. Sometimes she wishes she did. And all the shame, guilt, and embarrassment had returned. She didn’t believe in anything at all anymore.

-

dont be a stranger and lmk what u think <333 part two will be out soon!

[wiyodreamz]

𝑽𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒅 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 | 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒘𝒂 [05]

⌜Nari is a college student at Seokhye University. One day she got off on the wrong foot with Seonghwa, throws her coffee on him and curses him out. Later that day she learns about the internship she signed with Hwa Corp. That same day, she learns that the same guy she threw her coffee at, is the CEO of that company! How will things go for Nari if she has a target on her back from that encounter? ⌟ Office AU

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

Contains: fluff, angst, smut, alcohol drinking, cursing, and more as the story goes on.

Tag list: @seonghwaskitten @reeateez

Warnings: slight cursing, dani making me want to punch her through the screen, seonghwa and yunho being total sweethearts

A/N: the next chapter will be the last chapter of this series

Nari stirred in Seonghwa’s bed as the sunlight from his windows started to peer in from his bedroom. She turned her body to face him, still asleep. She smiled slightly and then looked at his clock on hid bed side table and that smile soon faded.

The time read ‘12:15 P.M.’ She jumped up and ran her hands through her hair.

“Fuck.....” she trailed off silently as Seonghwa stirred in his sleep and then opened his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as his voice was still full of sleep.

“We overslept Hwa! I was supposed to be out 6 hours ago, before anyone sees me” she said and he rose up instantly.

Nari gathered her clothes as she put them on in a rush. Seonghwa then came out of his closet with a black hoodie and a black bucket hat.

“Put these on, they’re going to be a bit big on you, but no one should really notice you” he said as he handed them to her.

She put on the clothing items he gave her and walked out his room. Once they were outside the gates of his house, a figure popped out from the corner.

“Mr.Park!” Dani said as she appeared. “I came to talk to you at your company, but your assistant said you weren’t here. So I figured out where you lived and drove here” she said and then noticing Nari’s figure in the black clothing. “Oh, and who’s this?”

Seonghwa got in front of Nari and glared down at Dani, crossing his arms “That’s my sister and she doesn’t want anyone seeing her without her makeup on.”

Dani didn’t buy it and rolled her eyes. She pushed Seonghwa out the way off guard and snatched the bucket hat off of her head, revealing Nari.

“Oh look who it is” she said in a mocking tone. “It’s Moon Nari. Now I know how you got the internship, and the others will too.”

“Dani, it’s really isn’t like that! We truly do have feelings for each other!” Nari pleaded as Dani shook her head.

“I told you Nari, you’re going to regret it and I mean it” Dani said and then dropped the hat on the ground, walking away towards her car.

Seonghwa then went to hold Nari’s trembling body, as tears were threatening to spill from her eyes. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay! She’s just bluffing, Dani doesn’t really do as she threatens, trust me.”

Nari trusted him, but she will soon regret listening to his words, despite him trying to cheer her up.

The paid internships don’t really start, until a week after graduations. So Seonghwa just wants the others to focus on exams and graduation.

Nari walked down towards the courtyard of the school. It’s been months since she’s actually been in class than having the lecture recorded and emailed to her. As she was walking in, people were pointing and whispering things at her.

She was confused on why people were whispering about her. She walked inside the school and Yunho immediately spotted her and grabbed her arms.

“You really need to see this” he said as dragged her over towards the crowd.

“Looks like our guest has officially arrived” Dani said as the other students turned towards her, some angry with her. “So how does it feel to steal a spot for someone who was more fit for the job?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about” Nari said nervously, as her hands started to sweat.

“I mean you did spread your legs to get that spot right?” She asked accusingly as she started walking towards Nari slowly. “No wonder Mr.Park liked you. You guys probably planned to make it look like you hated each other in the first place, right?”

“What you’re saying is all wrong! I told you we really do have feelings for each other! I didn’t use him!” Nari said as tears were welling up in her eyes. “You just like to spread rumors on anything you see.”

“Because you Moon Nari, I lost a perfectly good opportunity, you bitch” Kim Ara, a girl who was going up for the internship interjected with a glare. “We can’t have nothing nice because of girls like you!”

Before tears were about to fall on her face, she tried to leave the crowd, but people stopped her from doing so.

“Oh look she’s going to go cry since we figured out what she was doing.”

“She’s just a fucking crybaby!”

“She’s really going to ruin the name of this school.”

“Let’s see if the principal lets her graduate once he figures out what she’s done.”

Nari finally gained enough power to push the people away, with tears falling down her face. She ran away and noticed Sunji far away from the crowd, watching what happened.

“Nari! Wait up!” Yunho called out as he ran after his friend.

After a few minutes of running, he finally caught up to her and turned her around.

“What do you want Yunho?” She asked as she wiped her eyes from the tears.

“Nari-ah, are you really dating him?” He asked.

“What if I am? Are you going to shame me like those others, because of the lies Dani is spreading?” She asked as she sobbed. “If you are. Leave me alone!”

Yunho pulled her into a hug. He felt Nari relaxed in his hug. “Nari you know me. I’ll never shame you in anything. You are my best friend and I’ll be damned if anything happens to you. You really love him and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Nari just sobbed into his chest. “I just want to go home. Please take me home.”

Yunho just nodded and led Nari towards his car. He drove in front of her apartment and she immediately rushed out the car and went inside the apartment and was planning on not coming out for days

Seonghwa was worried about Nari. He’s been trying to call her, but it kept going to voicemail. He assumed she was too busy studying for her exams, but she would check her phone for any missed calls or texts. He didn’t want to barge over there, so he called Yunho.

“Yunho. I’m worried about Nari. She hasn’t been returning my texts or calls. Is she busy studying for exams?” He asked into the phone as he was signing some papers.

“About that. Dani wasn’t bluffing and told the whole school some lies about Nari saying that she seduced you into giving her the paid internship. And if Nari shows her face here at school, she will be ridiculed to the point where it will get physical. Luckily it didn’t get physical a few days ago” Yunho explained.

Seonghwa’s grip on his pen tightened. The look on his face could kill anyone. Seonghwa also blamed himself on telling Nari not to worry.

“Where is she now?”

“She’s been stuck in her apartment. She hasn’t come out for anything, but I do sneak over there and place meals on her doorsteps if she hasn’t eaten” Yunho said. “But it’s going to be over for her once the principal overhears about it.”

“I’ll go over there once I finish my job here. You should probably go study or go to class if you have one” Seonghwa said and then hung up.

Seonghwa was going help Nari anyway she can and clear up her name, even if that means getting his hands dirty.

“Yah! Kang Sunji! Come back here!” Yunho said angrily chasing after the girl.

“W-what do you want Yunho?” Sunji asked frightened by his tone.

“Why don’t you say anything about Dani? I know you have stuff against her that can clear Nari’s name!” He asked angrily. “You can actually help her.”

“I’m just scared. Dani has some stuff against my family which can hurt my future. It’s already bad since she uses me for information” she said as she tightened the grip on her bag.

“You really going to cower in fear, while Nari might not even have a future?! The word already got out to the principal and the board and they’re thinking of not letting her graduate and expelling her for ruining the schools ‘name’. She might not even have a future if you don’t speak up” he said angrily. “But oh I forgot. You have to protect your future while another ones get ruined.”

Yunho stormed off and left a stunned Sunji. She never thought about it like that. If she kept the truth in, it would greatly affect Nari. But if she does, she can help Nari.

“What should I do?!” She said to herself as she bit her fingernails nervously.

Seonghwa made it towards Nari’s apartment. He knocked on the door, hoping she would answer. Five minutes passed and she hasn’t answered the door. He took the liberty to push in her code and went inside her apartment.

He walked inside and saw the meals Yunho brought to her, uneaten. It looks like she hasn’t left for days, since her curtains were closed. He opened her curtains slightly and made his way into her room.

Seonghwa walked in and saw Nari wrapped in her blankets, while staring at the blank wall. She turned over and saw Seonghwa in her door way.

“What are you doing here? Haven’t you ruined my life enough?” She asked in a hateful tone which hurt him.

He sat on the other side of the bed. “I came here to check on you. Yunho has been worried for you, I have been worried for you. I’ve been wondering if you ate, drunk water, or went outside.”

“Well I’ve done none of those things. Now thanks to those lies, my future might be in jeopardy. I regret letting you kiss me at that party! I regret falling in love with-“

She was cut off with a kiss by him. She responded to the kiss instantly. He felt tears coming from her, wetting his face. He leaned away from her and saw her puffy eyes that shown she’s been crying a lot.

“I don’t regret falling in love with you” he said with a smile as he wiped away her tears. “What have those people been saying to you?”

Nari got up from her spot and went to her laptop and handed it to him. He scrolled through multiple emails from people bullying her and even as far as death threats. He took a USB from his pocket and put it in her computer.

“What are you doing?” She asked curiously.

“Just something your other graduates are going to regret” he said and then finished with the USB, taking it out of the computer.

Just then, he received a text and pulled out his phone from his pocket.

From Unknown [2:15 P.M]: Hello Mr.Park Seonghwa, I’m Principal Han from Seokhye University. Can you please come to my office at 8 AM sharp? I would like to talk to you about a relationship between you and a student enrolled here? Thank you.

“Who is it?” She asked.

“It’s your principal, but don’t worry I got everything covered” he said with a smile. “Now let me make you something. You must be starving.”

It was the next day and Seonghwa walked into the school. People instantly recognized him and started whispering, but he didn’t mind. He was going to get justice for Nari.

He walked inside the office and the principal noticed him.

“Hello Mr.Park. Please have a seat” Mr.Han said as Seonghwa took a seat. “I would like to discuss the relationship between student Moon Nari and you.”

“What is there to discuss?” Seonghwa asked as he crossed his arms and Mr.Han looked offended by that question.

“W-what’s wrong?! What she did was basically cheating. That internship should’ve went to a student who actually deserved it and not some girl who sleeps around to get ahead” Mr.Han said angrily. “I was being nice and inviting you here to break up with her, before I go through the process of expelling her. Besides your age gap is too big!”

It was Seonghwa’s turn to get angry. “I hope you know those students are sending her mean comments and death threats to her email! She did not sleep around to get the internship, she worked hard to get it than the person who’s spreading these rumors! And now you’re expelling her without looking into the rumors? You’re basically going off of lies! Besides our age gap isn’t that huge, she’s 24 and I’m 28!”

“And who is responsible for these rumors that you say aren’t true?” Mr.Han asked.

“Jung Dani” he said and then gave Mr.Han the USB. “You probably want to look at this since your students are, ‘oh so innocent’!” Seonghwa said.

Mr.Han plugged in the USB and his eyes immediately widened at the comments. He didn’t think it got that bad, he just thought it was just some small bullying and whispering. Not actually sending death threats and threatening of coming to her house or other things.

“B-but these could be-“ Seonghwa cut him off.

“If you let them graduate hook free, I will expose these to the media and they won’t have to worry about their future, because it’ll already be ruined by me, especially Jung Dani. I will also expose you as well and you won’t have a big freshmen class in the fall” Seonghwa said in a threatening tone. “And you can repay Nari by letting her graduate and not letting her take her exams, her knowledge can back her up. I’ll be leaving now since you’ve wasted my time.”

Seonghwa left out the office with a big smile on his face, he knew threatening Mr.Han with bad exposure will get Nari the justice she deserves.

Dani was now crowded by a group of people, hoping to her more lies about Nari.

“Dani-ah? Did she really do that to you?” A classmate asked.

“Yeah, but I heard she’s getting expelled so karma is hitting right back at her” Dani said in a smug tone. They heard the sounds of shoes angrily heading towards them. Dani looked and saw Sunji and Yunho.

“Oh looks it’s Sunji! Tell them more things about Nari’s real attitude” she said.

“No” Sunji stated.

Dani was shocked, she stood up and tried to intimidate Sunji. “Did you just say no to me?! You know what I can do right?”

“Cut the bullshit Dani! You’re not innocent, Nari is innocent. The first day we tried for internships, you tried to ruin her reputation! But those people didn’t pay no mind because they hate people just like you! You said Nari slept with Mr.Park just so she could get it, don’t act like you also didn’t plan to do that also. You were going to do way worse and you’re mad that he fell in love with Nari. Just admit it Dani. You’re jealous of Nari and all of her success, aren’t you?” Sunji said in a smug tone.

Whispers started to form around Dani. She was seething in anger, she didn’t plan for that to happen today, before she could get a hit on Sunji, people crowded her.

“So, you were spreading lies? Wow I can’t believe I believed you. I should’ve known you can manipulate people into believing anything” another classmate said in a disappointed tone. “I wish I could take back those emails I sent to Nari.”

Classmates now started to curse at Dani. Yunho grabbed Sunji’s hands and led her away from the classmates who are now angry at Dani.

“You did great, Nari is going to be really grateful of you” he said with a smile. “Now let’s go before any chaos happens.”

A few days later, after all the chaos. Dani couldn’t graduate and got expelled the next day after everything was exposed. All the other classmates, except Sunji and Yunho, had received punishments. Nari was able to go to school without any obstacles, and people soon started apologizing to her.

Graduation was only a few days away and things were going crazy. But Nari was happy that her life is going back to normal like it should’ve been.

“Are you ready to graduate?” Seonghwa asked.

“Hmm I’m not sure. I’m not really that ready to step out in the real world” she said as she twirled her pencil around her fingers.

“Don’t worry, you can move in with me after graduation” he said.

“Are you sure?” She asked and he nodded.

“Yep” he said and then pulled something out of his pockets. “Here”

He slid the extra pair of keys across the table. It was the key to his house. She took the keys gratefully and smiled at him. “Thank you for helping me through this mess.”

“You’re welcome” he said with a smile. “Let’s go get you home, you have to prepare for graduation.”

[koutarousangel]

━ hometown glory.

prompt : you were incredibly nervous to return home, especially since you knew that he’d returned home too. loosely inspired by this.

genre : angst to fluff

warnings : i mean at this point i can put swearing as a warning every time cause they’re apart of my everyday vocabulary lmao.

music suggestion : hometown glory - adele, happiest year - jaymes young, from the dining table - harry styles.

author’s note : @asdfghjkl7things​​ thank you so much for your support and your request ! i hope you like it !

you and hajime started dating during your third year in high school.

it was a surprise to practically everyone who knew you two, but the both of you had promised each other that you’d keep it on the down low as you were getting to know each other. mostly bc the two of you had friends that never knew how to shut up.

and what you had between you wasn’t really anyone else’s business.

you’d comforted him when they’d lost to karasuno, telling him that it wasn’t his fault and that he’d done all that he could, and you told him that if he wanted to, he could play volleyball again, or do whatever he wanted.

he’d consoled you when you failed the one exam that you needed to pass to go to the university of your dreams and he encouraged you to take the make-up exam, studying with you and making sure you were more than prepared.

you were each other’s rock and you genuinely thought that you were going to last.

until you got into an argument which turned into a full-blown fight bc the two of you were moving away from each other to study your respective courses.

you were scared of long-distance bc you didn’t want to hold iwa back, iwa tried telling you that you could make it work, but as you insisted, he accused you of never really loving him and that you were just finding a way out.

ouch.

four years later, the both of you were college graduates, and something drew you both back to japan.

walking through your hometown felt strange. it was familiar, heartwarming, but at the same time it felt as if you were a tourist, discovering everything for the first time. it had been a while since you’d walked through the streets of miyagi, having gotten used to the streets of london so much that the peace and quiet was almost far too loud. you’d thought about it, staying in london and finding a job there, settling with a brand new life but part of you missed japan so much, your family, your friends … him.

“you know,” your friend looked at you pointedly as she wiped a vegetable piece away from the corner of her mouth, “he’s back in japan, right?” it was almost as if she was fighting a smirk.

a sigh left your lips as you shook your head a little bit, “i know… he posted something on instagram,” the subtle confession that you still followed him on social media came out as a grumble, because you knew that your friend would make it her priority to never let you live it down. which was why you’d never told her that you’d accidentally liked one of his posts.

her eyes widened to the size of saucers and she practically choked on her drink, batting at your upper arm, “you sly fox you, so you do follow him!” you halted her frantic movements by grabbing her wrist.

“i do, which is also how i know that he has a girlfriend,” it was almost comical, how your friend practically deflated at your comment, scowl growing on her face, “it’s been four years, it was bound to happen.”

still, seeing him with his arm around her shoulders made your heart ache and you had angrily swiped away at the tears that spilled down your cheeks, because it was your fault. keeping him back had never been your intention and that’s what you felt you would have done had you remained in a relationship together. all that distance, the drastic time difference, attending separate colleges full of new experiences. you wanted hajime to have the world.

it was almost as if fate was trying to play some sort of cruel trick on you, because as your mind raced with thoughts of your old high school boyfriend, you felt yourself collide with someone and as soon as you heard your name being uttered by the person in question, you swore your heart wanted to jump out of your chest.

“hajime…” his name tumbled out of your mouth in what practically could be constituted as a breathless gasp, as if seeing his face in person after four years had completely winded you.

the man in question took a slight step back, taking a good look at you, almost making sure that you were really in front of him, and not his imagination toying with him. “small world,” was his only comment as he scratched the back of his head, awkwardness settling between you two as you wrapped your arms around yourself, the chill in the air suddenly very prominent.

“would you like to get some-” “i was going to go get some” the both of you spoke at the same time, nervous words overlapping each other. “coffee…” a smile as your shared thoughts fell together in perfect harmony, as if nothing had changed.

you had walked to the coffee shop in silence, questions of why you’d agreed to get coffee with your ex racing through your mind but the reason was simple … you didn’t want to walk away from him, not yet at least. sneaking glances at him while he grabbed your coffees made your heart thump faster than it had in a while, reminiscent of the first time you’d went on a date together.

there was a slight fear that it would be far too awkward to handle, but the two of you fell into a comfortable conversation, telling stories of your college days, how you’d gotten so drunk one time that you ended up stealing a plant and taking it back to your dorm, or how he’d once gotten so hungry during a late study session that he and his friends went to a mcdonalds drive through, even though they didn’t have a car.

you laughed until your face hurt, and you hadn’t realised, but the two of you had instinctively gotten closer to each other, and his arm had ended up wrapped around your chair, you leaned over and shoved him whenever he said something to tease you.

it was as if these four years apart never happened.

as your shared laughter died down and you finished off your drink, iwaizumi looked down at his lap and shook his head slightly, chuckling to himself and making you smile softly, “what?” you questioned, poking his shoulder.

“it’s still you, you know?” he looked up at you, eyes locking with yours as he gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, “the person i see by my side at the end of the day.”

his words hit you like a punch to the gut and you almost forgot how to breathe. you cringed, nose burning as tears tickled the corners of your eyes as you pushed your chair back, standing up and grabbing your belongings, holding them close to your chest as you rushed out of the coffee shop.

you could hear him calling for you, but the blood had rushed to your ears and you were trying your hardest to keep from crying, but as soon as you felt his hand around yours, you spun around and shoved at his chest, once, twice, tears dripping freely onto the pavement, cheeks burning red with anger and sadness, heart that was excitedly jumping around, now quietly sitting in the corner, thumping cautiously as you felt him grab at your hands to stop you from hitting him any further.

“you can’t say that shit hajime! you can’t say it, not after four years of nothing … you didn’t try to fight for me, convince me to stick with you through it all, and you have someone else! how sick can you be? saying that shit to me, stringing that girl along …” the anger wasn’t making you think straight, words spilling out of your mouth without you mulling them over first. 

it was iwaizumi’s turn to get angry at your words, “you broke up with me!” he pushed your hands away from his before pointing an accusatory finger at you, “you broke up,” and he turned his finger shakily at himself, “with me.”

your mouth dropped open and you closed it again, gaping at the air like a fish out of water, hoping the words would come to you, “i wanted what’s best for you,” you managed to whisper, “i wanted for you to be happy.”

“and you came to that decision on your own!” his chest was heaving now, bottom lip trembling as he tried to keep his strong facade, but it was crumbling, “how dare you, decide for me what’s best for me?” his words were only making your chest ache because they were true. you were scared that you were not enough for him, that you’d never be enough for him, “you were what’s best for me, i wanted to share everything with you!” but you were wrong. 

he let out a strangled laugh, “and that girl? she knew it too. i tried going on one date with her, and when i tried going home with her, she pushed me away and told me that i was just kidding myself and setting myself up to get hurt, because my heart was with someone else.”

the two of you were practically in hysterics, wild stares at each other, tears staining your cheeks and some threatening to fall on his own. this was how the argument was supposed to go four years ago, not with you doing everything in your power to walk away. you needed to talk it out, communicate with each other; the only reason it had reached this point, as if you were two people in some kind of romantic movie on the sidewalk professing your love for each other, was because all these emotions had accumulated during the past four years.

after he let out a couple of strangled breaths, iwaizumi’s shoulders slumped, and he raked his hand through his hair, shaking his head and going to sit down on the sidewalk, arms on his knees and head bowed forward.

you watched him for a couple of moments, hand pressed over your mouth as you tried not to sob. the man who’d held your heart so firmly in his hands even if you were continents away had never given up on you. suddenly you didn’t feel so pathetic, but the guilt was eating you alive. you’d never meant to hurt him so, you adored him and you really did want the best for him.

swallowing back the remainder of the tears, you looked up at the sky and sniffled softly, before taking a couple of brave steps forward, kneeling down and wrapping your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” you chanted softly, knowing that no matter how many times you said it, silently praying that he’d accept your apology, even though you didn’t really deserve it.

his hand rested gently on your forearm and he kept his head forward, pressing soft kisses to your wrist and the back of your hand. iwa hesitated for a moment, before he rested his hands on your waist, carefully guiding you to his lap and wrapping his arms around you, rocking you back and forth and shushing you quietly as you continued to sob into his chest. the way he said your name was as soft as a butterfly coming to rest on a fingertip, and he gently guided your face up to look at his.

“i forgive you,” he admitted to you, giving you a small smile, “i’m sorry for yelling, i’m sorry for letting you go ... ” his forehead came to rest against yours, and his eyes were closed. you could feel your heart practically soaring, having him so close again, him accepting your apology. 

your hand came to rest on his face, thumb gently drawing back and forth across his cheek, before leaning forward and leaving a tentative kiss on the side of his mouth, watching as his eyes all but shot open, cheeks burning red under the palm of your hand as he looked into your eyes, “i forgive you too hajime.”

~ three year timeskip. ~

you were anxious. more anxious then you had been ever in your life. 

you’d been with hajime ever since you reconciled now, going through all the motions with settling into your life back in japan, finding a job you both love but still there were struggles. like how hajime worked himself to the bone, hell bent on being the best athletic trainer the national volleyball team had ever seen. you laid blankets on his shoulders when he slept at his desk while he was writing reports or planning injury prevention programs. meanwhile, he carried you to bed whenever you fell asleep on the couch because you couldn’t sleep in an empty bed, or when you were studying for your job and you fell asleep at your own desk.

your relationship was strong, communication prominent during the whole time, because you knew what could happen if it wasn’t there. the two of you never went to bed angry with each other, he always brought home flowers if he fucked up, hiding his face behind the bouquet as he uttered an apology and you always made sure to bring him a cup of tea to bed if you stepped out of line, before cuddling into his side and muttering a small ‘i’m sorry’ into the silence.

vip tickets gave you the perfect view of the volleyball court, adorning the japanese flag on one of your cheeks and a polo shirt that matched hajime’s with ‘iwaizumi’ spread across your shoulders.

it would be your own name anyway, you thought, as you twirled the engagement ring around your finger, grinning brightly before looking up at him and giving him an encouraging wink, mouthing an i love you at him.

you’d returned home twice; to japan the first time, and to iwaizumi hajime’s heart the second time.

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (12)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 7,1K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Notes: It’s on Hyunjin’s POV, so You is actually him here lol

A little bit earlier just because I want to. I think you guys will like this one because Hyunjin is kinda horny here. “kinda”. He’s horny. But anyway. Wish you a good read~

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness

Updates: Tuesdays

Tagging: @aliceu @thatrandomoneinthecorner  @channiewoo  @bythesunnotbythemoon

                                                          ////

HYUNJIN’S POV

   Y/N was the clingy drunk.

   You would never imagine that Y/N would show up unannounced at your home around… Ten? Maybe 11 PM? But the scene you had on the other side of your eye door was clear: She was gloomy and devasted, head lowered and bag being held tight to her chest. You had opened the door knowing you would regret this. The regret you would have by letting her alone outside would be way worse, though, so you let her in.

   “Chan isn’t home” Was the first thing you said as you stepped aside. You expected an upset retort, maybe even a teasing one, but what you got in return was her head lifting, eyes locking with yours.

   She had been crying.

   You had plenty of experience with crying girls ─ not that it was something to brag about ─ but you never had a friend crying right in front of you. As a good friend and human, you stood there with your mouth agape, without a clue of what to do. She averted her eyes, embarrassed by your reaction, and muttered a “Can I come in?” so small that it could almost break your heart.

   What the fuck had happened?

   You gestured for her to come in, eagerly, watching as she dragged herself, kind of curled up as if she was trying to hide from the world. You had seen Y/N mad, happy, annoyed, embarrassed… You had never seen her broken like this. You decided not to ask much, and she made her way to your kitchen, picking up all the alcohol that had been left there from your “party” on Friday.

    If you knew any better, you would have stopped her sooner.

   Now was a little bit too late for that as she squeezed your thigh for the tenth time that night, body leaning to your side as she rested her head on your shoulder. She rambled about something you couldn’t make sense, complaining about how she couldn’t understand how everyone was so messed up around her.

   As far as you figured, she fought with someone.

  Maybe more people.

  It could also be about a baby or a small animal? Really, you weren’t following it anymore.

   “… And you were right!” She hiccupped. It could also be a laugh. Maybe a sob? You looked at her blankly, not expecting to understand anything by now, just too lost to keep trying to get what she was saying “Congrats!” She giggled, throwing her hands up.

   “Thanks” You answered anyway, patting her back. She chuckled again ─ slapping you lightly as if you had said a great joke ─ before she resumed crying, covering her eyes with her hands as her body jolted with her hiccups. You widened your eyes, startled at the roller coaster of emotions she was riding for the night, adjusting yourself so you could sit with your full body turned to her, cross-legged on the couch.

   She mumbled something confusing, and you held her shoulders firmly so she would look at you. She didn’t, so you shook her body gently, and this was enough to make her take her hands away from her eyes and look at you inquisitively.

   “That’s okay… Everything is going to be okay” You assured her, even though you didn’t know what the hell you were reassuring her about. She didn’t seem to buy your words (and you couldn’t really blame her for this), pouting to hold back her tears. Her lips quivered, brows knotting as her eyes glittered with her tearing up. Oh boy…

  “They hate me” She stated sorrowfully. The first statement you could understand. And it was enough to fuel you with new hope of being able to help her somehow. You tightened your grip on her shoulders, inviting her to look at your eyes, which she did, and you locked your gaze with hers with the most serious feature you could gather.

   “Of course they don’t” Who were they? It didn’t really matter. You maintained your gaze stern enough for her to believe your words, and finally, she sobbed, nodding in understanding. You let out a relieved sigh, letting go of her shoulders “It’s all good now, okay? Tomorrow morning we can talk to them and everything will be fine” You promised.

   She wouldn’t even remember what you said by tomorrow morning.

   “How did you know?” She asked sadly, looking into your eyes like a lost puppy. That was a great question because you didn’t have any idea of what you were supposed to know at this point. So you arched your brows, looking like a deer in headlights, stuttering to get your words out.

  “W-Well, wasn’t it obvious?” You offered, uncertain, and she seemed to buy it, sighing in disappointment. She nodded, shrugging right after, the pout never leaving her lips. You fought back the urge to sigh in relief, settling for exhaling slowly, afraid she would realize you didn’t know what was going on.

  She stared at you for a few seconds, blinking repeatedly, deadpanned.

  You just wished she was drunk enough to not realize your obliviousness.

  “Thank you…” She muttered, kneeling on the couch. You looked at her confused, the frown you had dissolved quickly into a startled ─more to desperate, really─ expression when she put her hands on your chest, close to your shoulders, supporting herself. You gulped down as she leaned closer, knee coming to the gap between your shin and your crotch, brushing slightly against your lower half.

   Not that you particularly noticed it.

   Because you didn’t. Really.

   “You’re a great friend” She giggled, hands sliding from your chest to entangle your neck, pulling you into a hug.

   You couldn’t point out what it was exactly.

   Maybe it was her arms involving your neck, fingers playing with your hair. Maybe it was the drowsy smile she threw your way, too soft to your heart. Maybe it was the way she rested her head on your shoulder, facing the crook of your neck. Maybe it was her hot breath fanning over your skin, making you shiver.

   Maybe it was her knee brushing against your dick.

   Yeah, it was definitely her knee brushing against your dick.

   But you felt something in the pit of your stomach.

   You swallowed dry, slowly leaning back in a vain attempt to get some space but she just came along with you, resting her body on top of yours as you trapped yourself under her weight. Well, of course, lay back couldn’t be a good idea for the moment. She tightened her grip around your neck, adjusting herself on your lap to be more comfortable.

   The issue was that her being comfortable meant her legs on each side of your body.

   Her legs on each side of your body meant she was straddling you.

   Oh, dear God, if you really exist—

   You couldn’t even finish your thought as she moved her head, lips too close to your earlobe. You inhaled sharply, holding your breath and shutting your eyes as you clenched your jaw. She hummed, satisfied at her positioning, exhaling a hot breath right over your ear. You could feel her warmth emanating, consuming your body in each inch of skin in contact.

   “Hm… Y/N?” You risked in a string of voice, opening your eyes slowly to fix them on the ceiling. She hummed against your neck and her breath was starting to get to your head. You wouldn’t say which one “What about we go sleep, hm? Sounds nice?” You offered as if you were talking to a child. She whined, displeased by your suggestion. Apparently, she was way too comfortable on your lap.

   You swallowed dry again, closing your eyes slowly as you felt her changing her position once again. Why, Lord, couldn’t she find a damn good position and stop grinding against your dick? That was a poor choice of thoughts. As soon as you let your mind wander down there, you held back a whine, throwing your head back to pray for mercy as you got more conscious about what was happening to your body by the second.

    It was impossible not to feel the blood rushing down, hardening your dick against your will. At the same time, the blood seemed to rush up, making you all flustered, even if she was too drunk to notice it now. She didn’t seem to mind your bulge ─she probably wasn’t even paying attention to it─, and some sick part of your mind wished for a split of a second that she could just sober up out of nowhere and mind it.

    Maybe mind it enough to the point of helping you out.

    Nop! You didn’t just think this.

    Okay, Okay Okay.

    Cool, Cool, Cool.

    You definitely shouldn’t be thinking like this! You should be gathering all your strength and willpower to push her away from you. That was what you were supposed to be doing right now. But what if she started crying again? Or maybe even worse! What if she just decided to do something else? Like keep moving nonstop… She was clingy as fuck right now.

   Another poor choice of thoughts.

  You definitely didn’t let your mind wander around the mere mention of the word fuck. Not at all. Especially because she’s your friend now. Do you remember this? Friends? Like just friends? You were sure the word friend stood up for that one you’re not allowed to fuck. In Latin. Or whatever. Whichever language stated this, it was right. That was the exact reason why you were in peace right now. The non fucking friend peaceful state. Totally fine and unfuckable. Like friends.

   Cool.

   Fine.

   Perfectly unaware of grinding bodies and their effects on your lower half.

   Please, God, let me out of here.

   As if on cue, you heard the door being unlocked. You threw your head back to watch it, ready to beg Chan for his help. She didn’t move an inch, staying attached to you like a koala. Chan opened the door, locking it behind him before turning around to really look at the couch. He flinched, staring blankly at you before amusement filled his eyes by the second.

   “Please help me out” You pleaded, making the best puppy eyes you could handle to do. He made his way to the TV, standing in front of there before looking for something in his pockets. When you saw his phone in his hands, you let out a whine, glaring at him as you silently asked for mercy.

   “There’s no way I’ll let this chance slide” He shrugged you off, and you just knew he had taken those photos. Great. Would you ever live it down? Chan’s voice seemed to awaken something inside Y/N’s head, so she adjusted herself once more, lifting her torso a little bit to look at her friend with a drowsy smile.

    The slow movement demanded some weight shifting, and, of course, she shifted it all to your lap. You groaned, hand going to rub your face, refusing to look at Chan right now. She laid down again on your chest, giving up on being friendly and settling for being sleepy. Lord, couldn’t she just decide what she was going to do?

   “You don’t seem too bothered by it” Chan teased, a smirk on his face and an arched eyebrow made it clear he didn’t intend to help you out right now “I would even risk saying that you’re enjoying quite a bit” He added, and it was impossible to bear his smugness.

   “Look, I have a hot chick up on me right now… Can you really blame me? Also, she’s your friend! You should be concerned and helping her out, okay? I’m your friend too! You could give me a hand!” You complained, and you knew you screwed up when his smirk morphed into a grin.

  “Oh? A hot chick?” He teased, and you closed your eyes in regret.

  “I mean a chick” You corrected but it was too late.

  “Yeah, but a hot one” His voice dripped with a knowing tone that made you open your eyes again, looking at him in defeat.

  “No, just a chick… Listen, can’t you give me a hand?” You cried, looking expectantly at him. Chan seemed to wonder, hand going to cup his chin as if he was in deep thought, eyes narrowing before fixing on you in a silent mockery.

   “Sorry, I don’t really like boys” He apologized obnoxiously. You could punch his face right now. Was this the guy you wanted to keep being friends with and fought over with Y/N for? Great deal! “So I can’t really give you a hand… You’ll have to deal with it for yourself” He sighed in mock guilty, making your blood boil. You clicked your tongue before grimacing at him, hands trailing to Y/N’s hips, getting his attention, sharp eyes fixing on your hands like a hawk.

    “You know what? I may have to get off…” You agreed, voice dripping with venom as you approached your lips to Y/N’s ears “Wouldn’t you give a helping hand to your friend?” You whispered in a tantalizing tone, loud enough for Chan to hear and finally snap at the situation.

    Y/N nodded ─ oblivious to your fake intentions, and smiling cutely at you, ready to help you out with whatever you needed ─, and you felt almost guilty to play with Chan like this as he strode your way upset. You held back your laughter, watching as he took her away from your lap, helping her to balance herself and guiding her arm around his neck as he tried to get her to his room in a stumbling mess. You sighed in relief as you realized that she wasn’t in your lap anymore and you survived this awkward moment, sitting on the couch and fixing your lost gaze straight ahead, pondering.

    You weren’t naïve.

   Y/N never had caught your attention as a woman… She was just that annoying friend your best friend had. She was like that constant presence in your life reminding you that you couldn’t get the spot you really wanted, and you put effort into being the same for her. For years. Those years seemed to culminate in a battle-worthy tension between the both of you that was slowly melting through these last weeks, and yet you felt stiff around her.

   And you didn’t mean stiff like you were now.

   It was almost like there was an invisible force preventing you to get closer to her, keeping both of you apart even though you had been trying to be friendlier lately. Sometimes you felt like you had to knock to get in, and sometimes you felt like she was already opening the door for you. There was a constant feeling of not knowing if you were too much or enough, sometimes if you were even needed.

    You never felt like this with another woman.

    It wasn’t like you were in love with her or something like this! It was just that if you intended to have Chan being part of your life, you had to allow her in. She had to allow you in. And as much you were allowed inside a lot of women throughout your life, this was a totally different matter. You were always the desirable one… Women wanted you, craved for you. It was as simple as that. They came for you and you came for them ─ quite literally, to be honest ─, and then you never exchanged more than a few words with them later on.

    It was easy.

    Your relationship with Y/N wasn’t easy…

    You were growing fond of her (You really were!), but you felt always on edge as if anything you did could put everything at risk. You wanted her to like you… Maybe ask you for lunch instead of simply parting ways when she involved you in her stratagem… Or maybe actually wanting to lie down on the grass and spend some time with you while watching dramas… Or maybe just letting you pay for stuff, just like Chan did.

    You wanted to be her friend.

    You craved for being accepted into their bubble, and yet you still felt… Off. Like you didn’t belong with them. You knew you were being ridiculous, and Chan said that to you thousands of times, but what could you do? That was how you felt. Anxious. Tensed up. Stressed out. And all that tension, all those pin-up emotions gurgled out of you like… Like you were a teenage boy with a girl sitting on your lap for the first time in your whole life.

    You were frustrated.

    You could see she was a woman! Of course, you could! You weren’t blind, right? The issue was that you only knew a single way of ultimate bonding with female beings… Sex. You groaned as you felt your friend twitching inside your pants, throwing your head back on the couch as you stared at the ceiling once more. What would be better for bonding than sex? Nothing that you were aware of until now…

    Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a loud grunt from Chan, and a dull thud reached your ears, prompting you to get up and go to his room; peeking over the doorframe to find Chan sprawled over her. You chuckled, crossing your arms as you leaned on the doorframe, shooting him a teasing look before he glared at you, trying to brace himself but being held tight by her to the point he couldn’t move. Y/N had her hands around his neck and legs around his hips ─ looking pretty much like a koala ─, eyes closed and mouth agape as she began to make her way into Morpheus's arms.

   “She’s pretty drunk” You pointed out, and Chan gave you a mocking surprised grimace, groaning as he tried to get away from her arms but failing as she only wrapped him tighter as he moved “It looks like someone is enjoying themselves” You smirked, and Chan rested his forehead on the pillow, chin brushing Y/N’s shoulder, before sighing and lifting his head to shoot you a pointed look.

    “At least I don’t get a boner!” He sneered, trying to at least roll to his side “Good Lord…” He cried, muffled by his pillow once again as he buried his face in distress, unable to roll “Why did you let her drink that much? I just wanted to have a good night…” He whined, face still hidden from you.

    “She had a fight with someone, I guess” You explained “She just kept drinking and rambling… To be honest with you, I didn’t get anything she said” You admitted, chuckling as he lifted his head once more, turning his face to you with a pout “Try to talk to her tomorrow morning… Maybe evening? She’ll wake up with the worst hangover she will ever have” You grimaced, watching as she snored, already peacefully sleeping.

     “Thank you” Chan mumbled, and you arched your brows in surprise, tilting your head in confusion “It means a lot to me… Seeing both of you getting along, you know? Also, you let her in and listened to her…” He frowned as if he was thinking twice about his statement “Well… Even if you didn’t really pay attention” He laughed “It still means a lot to me that you tried to take care of her when I wasn’t around” He cleared his throat, uncomfortable.

    “What are friends even for?” You gave him a small smile.

    “Certainly not to get a boner for” He answered with a smirk, and you rolled your eyes, groaning “We will totally talk about it in the future” He chuckled, eyes glinting in amusement “I won’t let you live it down, I swear to God!” You turned off the lights, sighing as you reached for the doorknob in an attempt to end this conversation “Hyunjin” He called, his tone suddenly firm.

   “Hm?” The door creaked as you opened it a little, allowing the light to softly illuminate his features, revealing a deadly serious mien.

   “I don’t think I even need to say that… But don’t you dare touch her as you do with other women” He warned dryly “I’m being playful about this because I know you didn’t mean anything by it... But if you play around with her for even a second–“

   “I can’t even think about fucking her” You lied, chuckling “She’s all yours, buddy… I just want to be friends” At least, this you meant for real “I didn’t have much time to release my frustrations with all those assignments, and exams coming up” You shrugged “I’m just a little bit hornier than the usual” You laughed, trying to reassure him.

   “Just keep it inside your pants” He said kinda jokingly but you could still hear the silent threat under his tone “She deserves someone who loves her… And unless you have something new to say to me…” You snorted, shaking your head to deny the suggestion.

   “No, I don’t” You assured him, observing how he tried to roll to her side once more, finally succeeding and letting out a relieved sigh, “Now let me sleep, will ya? I’ve already been kept up long enough by your protégé” You joked, closing the door as he adjusted her to his side, trying to get a better position to sleep.

   “Goodnight” You heard him muttering when you closed the door.

   “Goodnight” You answered, even if you weren’t sure it was meant for you.

                                                                    ////        

   You woke up with morning wood.

   You groaned, pressing your palms against your eyes as you felt the shame wash over you ─ crushing you against the mattress and making you sink in your bed, devasted ─ before your rested your hands on your chest and fixed your gaze on the ceiling. You bit your lip, glancing at your groin as you wondered if it would be that bad to take care of it… You weren’t doing anything wrong, right? It was perfectly normal to get hard to the thought of… Of what? You couldn’t even remember what you had just dreamed.

    You slid your hand down your body cautiously, closing your eyes as soon as you felt your palm against yourself, gasping. You had to contact some of your hookups someday, it wasn’t going to do you any good to keep thirsty like this. You pinched the waistband of your boxers, ready to slip your hand in and get rid of your problem before the door opened with a creak. You jolted your body up, hand snapping back to the mattress as you swiveled your head to confront the intruder, meeting Y/N’s gaze as soon as you turned around.

    “Oh! Morning” You blurted out, startled. She came into your room without your permission, closing the door behind her and locking it, turning around to look at you with coy eyes before biting her lips. You gulped down, scanning her from head to toes “What do you want?” You asked warily, licking your lips as she made her way to your bed.

    “You” She muttered under her breath, leaning in your way “And I think you want me too” She whispered, palming you above your pants, enticing a groan from you. The moment was insanely bewildering, and you could only gasp as she slowly passed one of her legs to the other side of your body, lowering her body to sit right on your groin. You shot your hands to her hips, holding her down so she couldn’t move, feeling your throat go dry as you looked into her lustful eyes.

    Holy fucking shit.

    “Look, I promised Chan I wouldn’t lay a hand on you…” You tried to reason but your thumbs rubbed circles on her hips unconsciously, and you had to use every single fiber on your body to not just squeeze that flesh and throw your friendship out of the window. She chuckled ─ something closer to a low purr than actual laughter ─, fingers going to your lips to shush you on a sexy motion that could have made you lose your mind with any other girl.

    But not with her.

    You couldn’t lose your mind with her.

    “So don’t use your hands” She whispered against your ear, hot breath sending a shiver down your body “I’ll do all the work for you…” She nibbled your earlobe as she placed her hands over yours, guiding you to squeeze her hips before locking her fingers with yours, pulling your hands above your head to pin your down “… Hyunjin” Her voice sounded like dripping honey, warm and full of sweet promises that you were more than up to take.

    “We can’t be loud” You gave in and she smirked against your jaw, placing an open-mouth kiss there and tracing a path to the crook of your neck “H-He can’t know…” You added, voice trembling when she lowered her kisses to your collarbone, biting on your skin at the same time she rolled her hips, making you grunt.

     It was like your moan was cloistered inside your chest, ready to be all let out now that you had her above you. She chuckled against your skin, adjusting her hold on your wrists to tease you with her other hand ─ her nails on a featherlike brushing down on your body ─, enticing one more groan from the depths of your chest.

     “I’m not the one moaning like a bitch in heat, am I?” She asked amusedly.

     Yeah, she really wasn’t.

      You know what? Fuck it.

     “I think we should change that” You suggested in an alluring tone before yanking your hands away from hers to hold her waist and invert your positions. You hovered over her like a predator to his prey, letting the sexual tension between both of you build-up to the point it was hard to breathe. You leaned closer to her, taking your time to tease her, getting off on how she withheld her breath, expecting your next motion “Be as loud as you want… I’m about to fuck your brains out of you” You smirked against her ear, letting your breath spread there just enough to make her shiver before sucking on her neck to get the most lustful moan you have ever heard.

    Good girl.

    Your phone blasted your ringtone for dear life.

    You jolted your body up as you shot your eyes open, looking around the place to make sense of what was happening. There was no one to be seen under you, or above you, or anywhere else for that matter. Holy fucking crap… You had a wet dream. You brought both of your hands to your face like you were about to pray for some forgiveness, but you just inhaled deeply, utterly in shock at what had just happened.

    And your phone had no respect for your embarrassing moment.

    You reached for your phone like it was your worst enemy, taking the call without even looking at whoever was calling you on a Saturday morning. You pressed the button and slid it to the side, bringing the phone to your ear, spitting an upset “Hello”, and prepared to send this person to the ends of hell if it wasn’t the most fucking important thing in the whole world.

    You shouldn’t be so enraged by this situation, and some part of you felt ashamed for your reaction. Were you upset because someone was calling you early in the morning? Or were you upset because this call interrupted your dream? You cleared your throat, dropping the thought as soon as it flickered in the back of your mind.

    “—Hello? Hyunjin? Are you there?” Paris’s voice sounded through the line in a worried tone “Hey? Hyunjin? Did he hang up on me?” She mumbled, confused, and you took the moment to clear your throat once more.

    “Hey! Yeah, Hyunjin speaking” You sighed “Why are you calling me this early?” You whined, and she scoffed on the other side.

   “It’s noon” She pointed out in a judgmental voice “Also, is Y/N with you guys? Did she sleep there?” You could tell the expectation under her voice was a mix of frustration, fear, and hope, and as soon as you hummed to confirm it, she let out a relieved sigh “Oh! Good!” You waited for a second but she kept silent on the other side, just her breathing assuring you that she was still there. You pursed your lips, unsure if you should just end your call, before her breath halted, catching your attention.

    Paris was acting strangely.

    “Why didn’t you call her?” You asked suspiciously and she withheld her breath as if you had just caught her red-handed “You guys fought, didn’t you?” She hummed, clearly embarrassed, so you let out a tired huff “Do you want me to put her on the phone?” You asked tiredly, and she gasped on the other side.

    “Would you do this for me?!” She beamed, making you chuckle.

    “You can build me an altar or something” You joked, getting up from your bed to head to Chan’s room “I’ll warn you that she drank like a son of a bitch yesterday… She’s having a hangover for sure” You stated, knocking on Chan’s door and waiting for him to answer you “Hold on” You asked, covering your phone.

   “Come in!” He shouted before you could call him, and you opened the door to meet a shirtless Chan closing the bathroom’s door behind him, holding a towel around his waist before fixing it. He shot you a curious look, ruffling his hair with another towel and making water droplets splash everywhere, unbothered. You roamed your eyes around the room, looking for Y/N but finding only an empty bed with messy sheets “What is it?” He asked bluntly, arched brow questioning you.

  “I’m looking for Y/N, Paris wants to talk to her” You explained, showing your phone to him as if he could read it from the other side of his room “She’s not here?” The answer to it was clear ─ unless she suddenly went invisible ─, but Chan didn’t seem to mind it. He gestured mindlessly to his side, pointing with his thumb to the bathroom before hanging his towel around his neck and looking for some clothes in his closet.

    “She’s taking a bath” He answered distracted, studying his collection of exactly the same black blouses “Maybe ask her to call later… Y/N didn’t wake up on the right foot today, to be honest” He mused, picking up one of his shirts and putting it back without a second thought “She didn’t even let me take care of her” He added, finally settling with a black shirt that had no difference to the last one he had pulled, smiling satisfied at it.

    “Hey, she’s in the bath” You said monotonously to Paris “Yeah, maybe call her later?” You suggested, nodding as she thanked you, saying goodbye to finish your call. You lowered your hand, holding your phone next to your waist as you stared at Chan, who seemed to notice your awkward behavior, choosing to ignore it to search for black sweatpants to combine with his black shirt.

  “What? Do you want me to strip for you or something?” He laughed, tossing his clothes on his bed as he headed to the drawer to search for some underwear “If you’re curious about them, I don’t know anything either” He shrugged, picking up his underwear and turning around to face you “She slept like a baby last night and we didn’t talk much this morning” He chuckled, staring the bed with an amused look.

    You could tell.

    “Look at this… She’s like a wild animal” He pointed to the sheets, chuckling, and you grimaced. Too much information, buddy. You hummed, nodding to acknowledge his statement but keeping silent, shrugging and turning around to get out of his room. You hesitated for a moment, turning around once again before coughing to get his attention.

    “Try to talk to her when she comes out… I think she would listen to you better than she would to me” You suggested, biting your lips “I mean, it must have been pretty serious… She cried a lot last night, and Paris didn’t even know she was here” He tilted his head at your statement, seeming to ponder something.

    “I have known her for a long time…  I don’t think anything I can tell her now will make her call Paris if they fought that badly” He admitted, crossing his arms over his chest “I can certainly try, though” He added quickly, heading to his bed to fix the sheets “I’ll talk to her later… Let her have her moment, for now, I don’t think she’s feeling well enough yet” He concluded, sitting on his bed to look at you.

    “Yeah, of course…” You nodded, motioning to get out of his bedroom “Do you want some coffee? I think I’ll make some for me” You offered, and he frowned at you in confusion, tilting his head to the side.

    “You don’t drink coffee” He stated matter-of-factly, arching his brow.

    “Of course I do!” You scoffed, sounding fake even to your ears, and averting your gaze from him.

     “No, you don’t… I live with you for ages, Hyunjin, I am the only one who drinks it in this house” He inhaled sharply in sudden realization, letting a smirk slowly spread through his features “Actually… I may know one more person who likes to drink it” You didn’t need to look at Chan’s face to see that he was mocking you silently with that I-See-You-I-Know-You look, brows arched and eyes glinting in amusement.

     “I’m just trying to cheer her up a little bit” You muttered grudgingly “Isn’t it what friends do?” You returned your gaze to him, and he smiled sincerely at you, nodding as his eyes softened, his playfulness dissolving into gratitude.

     “Yes, it is” He agreed “Thank you for taking care of her… I’m glad you guys are getting along well" He admitted, glancing at his clothes before looking at you “Though I think you’re being too attentive since yesterday” His smile turned into a teasing grin “Be careful to not fall in love, horny boy” He mocked, and you groaned in embarrassment.

     “Let it go” You pleaded, rolling your eyes in faux exasperation.

    “Make me some coffee and I’ll think about it” He retorted, making you chuckle and nod as you closed his door with a jokingly ‘Yes, sir!’, making your way to the kitchen. You took a pan to fill it with water, leaning on the sink to watch the water flowing from the tap; the typical sound it made as it hit the surface making you uncomfortable. You grimaced, closing the tap and letting it rest on the oven, setting it to boil the water as you made your way to the bathroom.

    You opened the door mindlessly ─ too lazy to go to your room and settling to go to the corridor’s bathroom ─, giving one step ahead before gasping and letting go of the doorknob in shock. You felt your airways block as you met the very too same thighs that held you in place earlier in your dreams, eyes wavering upward to her face and trying to ignore the amount of exposed skin that made you bit your lips. Y/N snapped her head at you, hands tugging down the shirt she was just finishing o put on, an attempt to hide her body from your eyes.

    What the hell was she doing here?!

    You closed the door with a slam, feeling your heart race inside your chest as you leaned on the closed door, hands going to check your heartbeat as your mouth fell agape. Wasn’t she in Chan’s bathroom?! What the hell was she doing there?! Holy fucking shit… It was just a female body, for lord’s sake! Nothing new under the sun. Yet, it was just a female body that you dreamt about... One that you were willingly going to fuck on your mind not too long ago.

    The scene played on your mind once more.

   Thighs that you would like spread apart with your own hands… A belly that you would kiss every inch until you reached for the very spot between her legs that for a split of a second made you gulp down, not so dryly as you thought about it… A neck that seemed like the perfect place to leave your marks… A face that you never thought you would like to corrupt… And eyes…

    You frowned.

    Eyes red and swollen that belonged to someone who has been crying.

    “Y/N?” You hesitantly knocked on the door, resting your head on the surface as you waited for her answer that never came “Are you okay?” You asked softly, paying close attention to any noise that she could make.

     “Y-Yeah…” She answered after a while, and you were sure she sniffed, probably wiping her tears away as she spoke up, a choked voice that didn’t let you any doubts “I’m fine” She added more firmly now, and you sighed.

     “Can I come in?” You asked, uncertain of what you were doing, and she remained silent for a while.

    “N-No” She finally answered, a weak string of voice that made your heart pang.

    “Are you dressed up?” You turned around to rest your forehead on the door, waiting for her answer with your hand on the doorknob.

  “Yeah…” She sighed in defeat, and you didn’t wait to open the door, walking in her direction.

  She hugged herself as if her arms could pull her together, head slightly tilted down as she raised her gaze to watch you making your way to her. She looked broken ─ red eyes and bloated face showing that she had been crying for a while ─, trembling like a deer caught in headlights and hunching her back in a way that made her look small, probably just as much as she felt right now. You approached her, embracing her body silently to give her a reassuring hug, feeling how she tensed up under your hold.

    “Do you want to talk about it?” You asked, and her hands moved to your waist hesitantly “I know we’re not really friends, and you probably prefer to talk to Chan…” You trailed off, suddenly feeling like an intruder as she held the sides of your shirt. You felt all the blood running out from your brain, afraid she would just push you away on the spot, but she didn’t. She held your shirt tightly ─ face contorting for a split of a second when she did ─ but she didn’t pull you closer, staying like this into your hold.

    “What are you talking about? We’re kinda friends… Aren’t we?” She asked unsurely, refusing to look at you. She rested her forehead on your chest, and you inhaled sharply as she did, startled by her question.

    “I mean… Yeah? I think… Yeah, we kinda are” You agreed, floundering with your words. She relaxed into your arms, hands sliding to tangle around your waist, pulling you closer to her into a vulnerable hug that dissolved both of your tension. You tightened your grip around her, resting your chin on the top of her head before stroking her hair gently “Paris called… She wants to talk to you” You offered, unsure if it was a good call.

     “She did?” Her tone was surprised, and she lifted her head to look into your eyes, head-butting you in the process. You closed one of your eyes, in pain, scrunching your nose as you looked at her “Sorry!” She blurted, hand shooting to your chin to study the damage she could have caused. You opened your eye, watching as she tilted your head to each side to take a better look at your face, admiring her worried features for a bit too long before clearing your throat.

    “I’m okay” You muttered, gently holding her wrist to take her hand away from you, noticing how she winced in pain. You frowned, taking a look at her hand to spot a swollen and dark bruise that extended over the side of her palm, starting from the base of her little finger and down to her wrist. You returned your gaze to her eyes, worry plastered over your face, and she averted them from yours in embarrassment before you took her hand in yours, caressing it carefully “What happened?” You asked as she squirmed under your touch, face twisting once again.

  “It’s nothing serious… I—“ You rolled your eyes, guiding her to sit on the toilet and leaving her for a second to take some ice pack on the fridge. When you returned, she eyed you curiously, making a surprised face as you took her hand once again to place the pack on her bruise, instructing her to hold it in place “It’s okay! You don’t have to worry, it’s just –“ You ignored her once again, opening the bathroom cabinet to look for some bandages.

      “I’m not really good at this” You lied, taking the elastic bandage and looking at her flabbergasted features “What? Can’t I treat your wounds? I may not be a doctor-to-be like Chan but I can ice pack your bruises, okay?” You muttered grudgingly as you sat down on the floor, facing her with a subtle pout that you hoped she didn’t notice “And yes, she did call you” You changed the subject, propping your elbow on your knee and resting your cheek on your palm “You guys are going to be okay… There is nothing that could pull you apart” You promised, and she averted her eyes from you, ashamed.

  “I was an ass to her” She sighed, and you tilted your head to take a better look at her eyes, prompting her to look away from you.  

    “Then apologize” You stated, nudging her with your foot so she would return her gaze at you, making her huff before looking at you.

    “She was an ass to me” She lowered her gaze before fixing her eyes on yours, a wary expression over her face.

    “To the point that you’d never want to talk to her again? Was it enough for you to give up on her?” You asked sincerely, and she shot her brows up, shaking her head vehemently.

    “No! Of course not” She said eagerly, and you chuckled, leaning forward to pat her knee.

    “Then forgive her” You offered her a small smile.      

[bad-bitch-beauchamp]

Songs About Me

Alright, here we gooooooooo! My very first fic! I have the first three chapters written out. This will definitely be drawn out, so stick with it! Lots of fluff, lots of angst! Inspired by Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo. You can also catch me over on Twitter @ tessaactually.

READ ON AO3

“What do I even wear to something like this? Jeans? A sweater? Fuck, Geillis, I can’t believe you talked me into doing this.” Claire tossed her phone to the middle of the bed. With her hands on her hips, she stood in her closet staring at all the clothes that wouldn’t work for tonight. Things were strewn from the doorway of her bedroom across the floor, up onto the bed, hanging off the dresser from hangers, and into the closet that led to her bathroom. Geillis Duncan, one of Claire’s best friends, had started a tradition of going on Friday nights. Geillis was always the life of the party with her outgoing personality, uncanny ability to read just about anyone, her fiery red hair swinging as she danced regardless of what song was playing. In Geillis, Claire found a soulmate. Someone to dance with, someone to laugh with, someone to drink with, someone to be truly best friends with. Sometimes, though, their ideas of a good time differed. Tonight just happened to be one of those times. 

 “Stop thinking sae hard. Maybe after a few drinks, ye’ll have a little more fun, aye?” Geillis responded hopefully through the speakerphone. Having more fun is indeed what she promised herself she would do, so she’d go out with Geillis -- damn her -- and try her best to have a good time tonight. It sounded like a nightmare, but she’d try. She’d try to have fun. Memories of the days when she made that vow to herself came flooding back unbidden, and she sat in the middle of her bedroom floor next to a discarded cardigan as she slipped into an unwanted reverie. 

When Claire left Oxford College five years ago and gave up studying medicine, nearly everyone she knew tried to convince her she was making the biggest mistake of her life. Classmates staged interventions, friends tried to reason with her, and her professors pleaded with her to not waste her talent. No one was quite as angry as her boyfriend at the time. Claire expected frustration, sadness, maybe a little resentment, but never anger. 

“I don’t think I can keep doing this, Frank. I really don’t.” Tears pooled in her eyes as she sat slumped on the floor against their bed. Raindrops ran down the windowpanes, thunder cracked the sky. 

“I truly don’t understand how you could be so selfish! You have the talent for the coursework and the money to go here and you’re just, what? Going to through it all away?!” Frank stood across from her, forearm braced on the wall above his head. It was going on two hours since he had looked her in the eye. Claire sniffled in the background. Frank’s fist came to the wall with a sound rivaling the storm raging outside. His storm was not over. 

“Don’t you think I’ve thought this through? I have a plan. I’m going to take the rest of my savings, maybe move back to the states and…” Her voice started to break then. Frank spun around on his heel to finally look at her, to really look at her. His chest was heaving, 

“And what, Claire? And do what with your life? What about the life we planned together?” He stomped toward her, shaking the floorboards under her body as she clung to her knees. When she looked up, tears starting to fall from her lashes, he dropped to his knees in front of her, grasping for her hands. Claire finally saw more than anger. She finally saw the fear he was trying to reign in but quickly losing control of.

“I’m figuring it out, Frank. I’ll figure it out. We can figure it out. Maybe… maybe I’ll finally open up a greenhouse. You know how much I’ve always wanted to do that. Please, I… I can’t keep going on like this here. I’m so worn down and I can’t -- I know that I can’t -- survive it here another year.” The tears fell. She had been bottling up these thoughts for three years, and couldn’t hold back any longer. “Please, say you understand. Say you love me. Say you support me.” The teardrops turned into rivers. “Say you love me.”

For a few moments, Claire wondered if he had heard her pleas through her wrecking sobs. Finally, Frank let out the breath he was holding, letting his shoulders slump. He dropped her hands without ceremony. He ran a hand through his ordinarily perfect hair. He sat back on the floor, one knee bent up and the other outstretched. His arms reached behind him to hold him up. He just, stared at her. 

She was jolted. She had expected outrage. She studied him as best she could through her swollen eyes and water-stained glasses. Everything was silent. The room they had shared for the past three years, was silent. Absently, she noticed the thunder and lightning and pounding rain had stopped, leaving only an occasional trail of water down the old glass windows. With every second the sky turned brighter shades of purple and pink and orange with the impending sunset. On a different day, maybe in a different place, she might have appreciated their beauty. Instead, she noted the silence. 

Looking back at Frank then placing her face in her hands once more, she pleaded one last time: “Please say you love me.”

Frank blinked. 

In one swift motion he was off the floor and moving toward her. She heard the old floorboard creak. She felt the air whoosh around the room with his movement. She waited for him to reach her. 

“Claire. Look at me.”

Ah. Not moving toward her after all. Standing in the doorway with an air of having concluded a business dealing, Frank was watching her with not a single trace of emotion. Claire’s head rose. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and glanced his way with a smile, until she saw where he stood. 

“I have never been so disappointed in you. Goodbye, Claire.”

Frank took a breath and looked her up and down, from wild curls to curled up toes. Claire opened her mouth to speak. Frank closed the door behind him as he left. Everything was silent. 

Claire shook her head, making her curls bounce like springs. Geillis was still talking but hadn’t seemed to notice the lack of responses coming from the other end. Claire pulled herself up and tried to figure out what Geillis had been talking about. 

“... They’re really sweet and kind and they’re really great about buying ye more than a few drinks, plus they’re fellow Scots and just the nicest! I mean, sometimes they’re a little rowdy, ye ken, but I think that’s what ye get when ye go out with Scots --” Geillis was rambling, and Claire didn’t have the foggiest idea who she was referencing. 

“Hold on a sec,” Claire tugged an oversized oxblood sweater over her head. “Okay, fill me in again, please. Who did you invite tonight? I thought this was a girl’s night out after a long week!” She tugged on a pair of black faux-leather leggings, bracing on the dresser for balance and she began to tip over. 

When Claire left Oxford, she moved back to Boston into her uncle’s old brownstone. Although her Uncle Lamb died during her freshman year at school, he had left her a hefty inheritance. Claire and her uncle were each other’s only family and when he died, he left her everything he had. In his will, he left Claire a note that simply read, “These things are only things, my dear. Use them to follow your dreams, however you may see fit. Love you always, Lamb.” Everything he left her gave her a home in the states far away from everything she wanted to leave behind in England, and the means to start her own little greenhouse in a tiny historic shop in Beacon Hill. After her two closes friends from Oxford graduated, they both ended up in Boston with her. Joe Abernathy was going his residency as Mass Gen, and Geillis had come to do the same until she saw Claire’s shop and declared, “Fuck it, this is way more fun.” She helped in the shop with supplying a small zero-waste shopping section for patrons interested in doing more to protect to earth. 

Geillis giggled like a school girl when she started describing the friends she had invited out with them that night. “Weel first there’s Angus. Remember him? I went on a date with him two weeks ago to Seven Ales, ken?” 

“Oof, wasn’t that the one you got blackout drunk with?”

“That’s the one, dearie! And a braw time it was! I mean, I assume it was because I don’t really remember the wee hours of it if I’m being honest.”

“Shocker. Who’s next?” Claire kept Geilliss on speakerphone as she rummaged through a pile of shoes in the corner of the bedroom. 

“Och, that’d be Rupert. I went out a week ago to Cheers and met the guy who made me laugh until I fell off the barstool?” She giggled to herself at the memory. 

“Oh yes, I remember that one. He actually sounded pretty decent.”

“He’s a right sweetheart! Angus is as wheel, just a wee bit more crass, aye?” Claire could practically hear her winking through the phone. 

“Alright, that’s not too bad. I can handle two more besides you and me and Joe. I’m actually getting excited for tonight! This week at the shop has been a lot.”

“Agreed, babe. I’ve got tae go, but I’ll meet ye there? Eight o’clock sharp, I want to get our names put in for karaoke!”