#once again... minimal proofreading sorry

[mintys-musings]

His New Hobby (Kuro Kiryu x GN!Reader)

i knew exactly what i wanted to write.

Summary: Kuro seems to have earned a new hobby after spending some time with the outdoors circle and he wants to show you!

Tags: bondage, toys (just some vibrators), praise, overstimulation, mirror sex, mild dacryphilia, soft dom!Kuro because in my heart that's what i believe in, he calls you pretty lots, he also calls you baby and darling, creampie bc predictable

Word Count: 1305

NSFW under cut~!

"You're doing so well."

His voice was as loving and tender as it always was around you. His eyes trailed down your form before him, drinking in the sight of you tied up all pretty. Just for him.

Kuro had already made you come once just with his mouth before he had even finished all the knots. He couldn't help but get a taste of you once he saw how needy you were. It was fine for you to have an early release. He wasn't cruel. He wanted you to feel nice in return for indulging him in this.

Red and black ropes ran around your body in intricate knots and designs. A heart design right on your sternum, ropes weaving like snakes around your legs to tie them as they were folded. You couldn't see the way your hands were tied behind your back, but Kuro had explained to you that it was supposed to mimic a spider's web.

Kuro's lips trailed down your body, kissing each gap of skin between the lines of ropes.

"You're so good to me, baby." He brushed your hair away from your face and gave you a tender kiss. "Thank you for staying still for me. I'm so proud. I know I took my time with this."

You could only respond with a soft whine, his sweet words making you feel warm.

Kuro's eyes bore into yours with a passionate gaze. He had a look of pure admiration as he scooped you up into his arms. There was no place safer right now and no place you'd rather be.

"I want you to watch while I fuck your pretty body numb. Understand?" His hands wandered to caress and thumb over your skin like it was fine art. Your mind had all but ground to a halt at this point, in a near trance like state.

"Mhm..."

"Good good. I'm going to use some toys too, baby. You remember that, right?" He kissed your head as he brought you to the edge of the bed in front of a tall mirror.

You nodded.

"Verbal response, baby. I need to hear you." He moved your chin so you could look at him through the mirror. "You feeling okay about this still?"

It took a second for your brain to catch up, but you nodded again. Your eyes drifted from Kuro's awaiting gaze to the toys and tape on the bed.

"Yes. I'm okay. I remember." You recalled him talking to you earlier about all this. "Please fuck me, Kuro~"

Kuro let out a deep chuckle that you could feel against your back. "Good job, baby. Thank you for listening to me." His words were sincere as he reached for the toys he said he'd use earlier in this scene.

He taped three bullet vibrators to you. One on each nipple and one directly onto your sex. Your eyes never left the mirror, following his large hands as they put you into the exact position he wanted.

"You see how pretty you are?" He grinned, forcing your head up to look at yourself instead. "You look so good, darling."

More than yourself, you were staring right at Kuro's large, painfully hard looking cock. His thick tip was pressed right against your hole, leaking precum against you. You practically salivated at just the thought of it going into you.

"Watch." He commanded.

And you listened.

Your mouth fell open into a silent gasp as he sank you right down onto his cock. A deep groan could be heard from him.

"Fuck... You're so tight, baby. Look at that. Look at how well you take me."

He moved slowly at first. If anything, he was moving your body up and down his shaft like you were nothing more than a fleshlight. You couldn't help but watch as you were split open with each thrust, the sound of wet, sticky skin gently slapping against each other emanating from the two of you.

"You feel so nice around my dick. You're so good for me, yeah?" He was breathing heavily as he started to move faster. His balls slapped against your skin more and more. "God. I'm so fucking lucky to have you. You're so fucking pretty all tied up like this."

You couldn't find the mind power for any sort of response besides moans and gasps as Kuro thoroughly fucked you. You felt floaty, brainless, like the only thing that mattered was right now and how damn good everything felt.

And then he turned on the vibrators. High.

Maybe it was a lie to say he wasn't cruel. Or maybe it wasn't. Who knew?

When each and every sensitive point on your body was getting attention like this, blinding pleasure flooded your senses. You tried jerking away from the stimulation, but the ropes and Kuro's tight hold on you made it impossible to escape. The floaty nature of your brain quickly gave way to feeling every single cell in your body jolt with pleasure to the point it was nearly painful.

"Kuro!" You wailed. "Mmmngh~! 's too mu~uch~!"

Your wails were only met with a chuckle as Kuro thrusted into you with more fervour.

"You love it, right baby?" He teased, slamming himself inside your tight hole with no mercy. "I said I wanted you to watch. Look at you, darling."

Through watery eyes, you saw yourself in the mirror. Flushed face, drooling, trembling, hole getting stuffed with Kuro's girth over and over again. He made sure to fuck you hard so you felt every inch of him going in and out of you. He made you take him from tip to hilt with each thrust.

Each wet smack of skin only drove you further to the edge. It was hard to focus on anything else except the white hot pleasure you were being bombarded with. The vibrators kept changing their pulse patterns so you never had a moments rest.

Kuro wasn't fairing any better. He held you just as tight as your walls were holding onto him. He wasn't entirely silent, but the fact he only let out low groans and growls right into your ear brought a whole other level of intimacy to the scene.

One of his hands moved to your sex to play with it as he thrusted.

"You wanna come already, don't you?"

You nodded, eyes screwing shut.

"Verbal response, baby."

"Yes! Yes. I want to come so fucking badly!" You cried, completely at the mercy of Kuro's thrusts and each rapid pulse of the vibrators.

Kuro moaned. "Then come. You've been so good to me tonight. I want you to come all over my cock while I fuck my cum into you." He gritted his teeth and slammed into you repeatedly as hashly as he could. "Come for me. You can do that, right?"

"Yes yes yes—" You lost yourself as you finally peak. "Kuro~"

It was all too much all at once. Kuro's balls pulled taught as he slammed into you one final time to coat your insides white. In the same breath, your body convulses as best it could under your restraints as you come with a satisfying moan.

You hear a faint click and all the vibrators stop. Kuro grumbled curses under his breath as he held you tight, massaging your chest gently with his calloused hands.

You barely registered it as he kissed you. But once you did, you kissed back tenderly.

"Good job, darling. Thank you for indulging me again." He sighed in content, nuzzling his face into your neck. "Give me a minute. I still want to take pictures of you like this."

You giggled and watched through the reflection as some cum leaked out from you as Kuro shifted you on his dick.

"I love you, darling."

"I love you, too."

[mayanneaa]

hits different - ᴊᴊ ᴍᴀʏʙᴀɴᴋ.

PAIRING : jj maybank x ex!reader

SUMMARY : jj broke up with you two months ago, but this one party makes him truly realize what he’s done.

WARNING(S) : swearing, jealous and super drunk jj, a little angst, fluff, minimal use of y/n (like once), might have some grammar errors, english is not my first language

A/N : first fic on here heheh obv inspired by 'hits different' by taylor swift. i recommend listening to it while reading :) dividers by @roseraris !! not proofread dont kill me

WC : 1.7k

masterlist.

After a fourth beer, the party got too loud and the lights too bright. Normally, in a moment like this, he would run to you, wrap his arms around you, and inhale your sweet, calming scent. Just as he’s about to do it, the realization hits him like one of the waves nearby.

You aren’t together anymore.

He sharply inhales and looks around. His vision is softly spinning, but it’s no problem for him. JJ spots you in a second. With another boy.

You two are just talking. You don’t even know this guy, he came up to you to ask about something so random it got lost in your chat long ago. You give him one of those kind smiles, and JJ feels his fists clench. “Fuck.”

The music changes. As if he wasn’t already miserable, the speakers let out the first notes of your song. The one he first kissed you to. The one you two always played, alone at the chateau dancing on the back porch.

The memories flood his mind, and he can’t take it anymore. Jj feels his heartbeat loud in his ears, and he wants to leave. To go to any of the pogues, or, even better, drive away in the Twinkie. But his eyes cannot move from your face, and his legs just don’t work.

It baffles him. Not once in his life, he couldn’t move on. But this time, with you, it's different. It hits different.

You finally catch him. The guy is still talking to you, but your attention is on the other side of the beach. Before you can interrupt, you see John B. coming up to JJ. He tells him something, grabs his arm, and leads his best friend somewhere. You feel your heart sink. “Are you okay?” you hear the guy ask, making you turn your head.

“I’m so sorry, I have to go,” you quickly say, leaving him alone. You have to find JJ.

“Dude, stop this shit right now,” John B.’s holding the steering wheel, making his way to the Chateau. JJ's taken the passenger seat, shoulders slumped, and he runs his hand through the blonde strands.

"Yeah, easy for you to talk." he snarls, "You and Sarah are all happy together, you don't know how it's like-"

"I don't know because I don't just randomly break up with my girl over a bad day I had." John B. cuts him off and lets out a deep sigh. "JJ, you should talk to her. Everyone's done. You are constantly miserable."

JJ doesn't say anything. The words hit him like a slap, unnecessarily hurtful. Outside the window he sees the familiar place - they are at the Chateau.

"Get some rest, okay?" John B opens the door and helps JJ get in the house. "Call me in case something happens."

The blonde nods his head and plops on the couch, legs stretched out. Minutes pass, and he finds himself whispering your name, over and over again, as if he's scared he'll forget it.

His mind still replays that cold May night.

You two agreed to meet at the dock. The wind softly overflowed your face as you were waiting for him. When he finally came, you felt something was wrong. His usual smile was gone, and he didn't even look at you. You hugged yourself in your hoodie, "JJ? Is everything alright?"

He let out a shaky breath, leaning over the railings. "I think we should break up."

You blinked in surprise, your heart feeling heavy. "What?"

Your voice sounded smaller than you intended. You reached out for his hand, your own shaking.

"It will be better for both of us." JJ dismissively said, swallowing hard. A shiver ran down his body, and his throat tightened, but he brushed it off.

You felt so much hitting you. Tears burned under your eyelids, and anger started to bubble up. Did you do something? Or maybe he just decided you weren't good enough for him anymore?

"No," you whispered at first, but your voice was growing louder, "You don't get to just... just decide on my behalf!"

The moonlight fell on his face, and you tried to find any answers in his eyes. He stiffened, shaking his head before he repeated, "It will be better if we end it now."

You opened your mouth, but not a word came out. The tears threatening to fall finally flooded your face, a quiet scoff escaping your lips. "I can't believe this. This is how much it meant for you?"

You were met with silence. The atmosphere on the dock could be cut with a knife, and you couldn't just stand here. Before you registered it, your legs led you down, far from your boy- well... ex-boyfriend. JJ's eyes followed your every step. He wanted to run after you, to wrap you in his arms and never let you go. But he didn't.

It wasn't just a one-day whim he had. It stuck with him ever since you two decided to make it official. It grew with every late night you spent not on something you like, but on cleaning him up after another fight. You didn’t say anything—but he knew. He knew that sooner or later, it will be too much. He will be too much to handle.

The sweetest girl walking on the earth, a literal angel and him. A failure, a Pogue whose fate it was to end up just like his father—always drunk, always angry.

His heart ached at this thought. You had so many opportunities, and if you decided to let it go because of him, he would never forgive himself.

Breaking up before he got even more attached was for the better. It had to be. Right?

JJ doesn’t know how long he’s been lying like this. His breathing is now steady and slow, and he has to remind himself to breath in again.

He closes his eyes, but can’t escape you. The memories come fast—not giving him much time for defense.

Your face. Always in the sun, glowing as if you were a goddess. The lips glossed from the cherries you’ve been eating. Your eyes, the creases forming in the corners almost constantly from smiling.

Your touch. All these quick brushes, the way you traced your soft fingertips over his forearm every time you sat nearby. The long, tight hugs during which JJ’s hands wrapped your waist, him hungrily inhaling your perfume.

His breath hitches. Is it truly the best this way?

Before he can answer, the quiet crack of a key opens the door. He darts up and immediately regrets it, as the whole room starts spinning.

“JJ?” he hears a soft whisper, and his heart skips a beat.

The warm lights of the Chateau reveal your face. He feels the heat rising to his cheeks, “What are you doing here?”

His voice is quiet, almost as if he’s scared you’ll disappear. You step closer, with a cautiousness that kills something inside him. He avoids your gaze, staring at the suddenly interesting floor.

“You’re not doing great, huh?” you say, but there’s no mockery or anger in your voice. There’s just… worry.

JJ turns around on his heels and sits down on couch, fearing that if he stands for a minute longer, he might just fall. He runs a hand through his hair, a habit that intensified over the two months.

“Stop it, Y/N.” he finally replies looking at you for the first time. The light reflects of his watery eyes, and his voice breaks when he continues, “Go back to the party and your new stupid little boyfriend.”

Your eyes widen. “Are you fussing over me talking to a guy after you broke up with me?”

JJ shakes his head, looking at the floor again, “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore, I guess. You really should go—”

“Why did you end this?”

The question feels like an arrow through his heart. You’re standing with your hands crossed, not planning on going anywhere. “Why, J? We were happy. Did I do something…?”

“It wasn’t you.” In the response, he hears a snort.

Your gaze is heavy, with your eyebrows arched up. “Classic. Then what was it, JJ?” The tone of your voice is pushing, and you don’t even try to control it, “What happened that you decided to just leave me?”

“I was scared!” he snaps before he can think of anything better to say. “How do you imagine it? You… you can’t suffer with me forever. It’ll break you one day and—”

“JJ.”

The way you say his name pulls him out of the spiral. It slips off your tongue smoothly, just like it used to. You grip his arm, and JJ forgets what he was even talking about.

“You don’t get to make this decision without talking to me. Did you ever asked me how I feel about this?”

A blush creeps up on his cheeks, and whether you want it or not, the corners of your lips rise.

He tries to make any sense, the tears dangerously close to falling. “I mean— You deserve someone better. Someone who will keep you safe and… I’m not that person. And I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

You sigh. “Maybe. But I don’t want anyone better, baby. I want you. That’s my decision.”

With these words, with what you called him, his walls crash. You pull him closer, your bodies touching and he can’t take it anymore. JJ lets out a muffled sob into the crook of your neck, gripping you like he’s never letting you go.

Your fingers find their way up to his hair, running through the golden strands as he’s shaking.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers, his voice barely audible. “I’m so sorry. So sorry—”

“Shhh,” You draw small circles on his back, and his breath slows down after some time. “We will talk about it tomorrow, ’kay? You’re super drunk right now.”

“Promise you won’t leave.” JJ sniffles, the tip of his nose pink. You giggle, but he pulls away to look at you, a serious expression on his face. “I’m not joking! Promise me you’ll still be here in the morning. Please.”

You gently squeeze his shaking hand and can’t help but smile. “I promise.”

[confessioncassette]

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐬 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐍𝐚𝐦-𝐆𝐲𝐮 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝟏𝟖+. 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨���� 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭.

summary : getting high leads to dirty, dirty things

tw : getting high, smoking, dry humping, minimal fingering, this may be dubious consent [DUBCON] due to being under the influence and the boys have been waiting for a chance with you, very small yandere themes if you SQUINT

words : 1.7k

notes : I’ve been unhinged lately. Feral. Horny. I want to be stuck between two men. I was too lazy to write a full fic or many details of this concept… AND it’s not proofread. It’s honestly not my best work… sorry…. but I still hope you enjoy!

Thinking about…

“Well, no,” You squirm over your heels, “I’ve never actually been high.”

The duo looks back at you utterly perplexed. Before Namgyu opens his mouth to question, you continue.

”I just don’t think I did it right the first time. It was out of a soda can,” Your gesture with your hands but your excuse didn’t change their glare, if anything, their eyebrows furrowed into confusion.

“And I don’t think I inhaled all the way.” You paused for a moment, eyes darting back at the two who were giving you judgmental looks, “I only took one hit.”

The air is plagued with an uncomfortably long moment of silence before Namgyu stifles a laugh and hugs his arms across his chest.

“So, what? Last time you smoked was in high school? No one has used soda cans-“

”Shut up Namgyu,” Thanos slaps his friend over his chest with a muffle thump.

“You want to try it tonight?” The purple haired man continues, his blue colored contacts scan your face in anticipation.

And that's when you find yourself sitting rigid on the end of the couch, curiously watching Thanos roll a blunt over his glass coffee table. Oldschool R&B plays low over the speaker and the glow of purple LED lights create a soft contrast to the night sky through the large windows.

His pink tongue carefully licks the paper, eyes finding yours as he does, offering a wink before slender fingers slide over the edges. Namgyu lounges over the fur rug below you, mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

“I always have to roll because he can’t. You should see how fucked his shit comes out.”

“Shut the fuck up, T,” Namgyu retaliates, “I like when you do it because it’s not as tight.”

The other man ignores his friend and directs his attention solely to you.

“Okay, pretty girl,” Thanos flicks the lighter, bringing the blunt to his lips. Namgyu looks up from his phone, brows raised as he watches his friend.

”Watch me.” Thanos says, voice low with bass, before inhaling the joint, the tip growing brighter as he does. Once done, he passes the joint to Namgyu and sucks the smoke in deeper.

You squirm, rubbing your sweaty fingers together over your lap. You watch Namgyu sit up to take a hit, blowing a cloud of smoke to the side. His eyes meet yours, extending his hand to offer you a hit.

You hesitate, and they notice.

”You don’t have to-“ Namgyu begins but you cut him off.

“No, no, I want to try.”

You take the joint to your lips and suck in slowly, attempting to copy what Thanos had done. The musky taste fills your senses, warm and itchy, tickling the back of your throat almost immediately. You tried, like really tried, to keep it in but your body reacts without a second thought and you cough uncontrollably. Squeezing your eyes shut, you lean forward, hacking up a lung. Puffs of smoke leave your mouth with each cough and tears swell almost immediately.

Namgyu reacts almost instantly, sliding onto the couch next to you to pat your back.

”Yeah, it burns like shit when you’re not used to it.”

Moments pass and you catch your breath. Your eyelashes sticky from tears, most likely messing up your mascara in the process you look over to Thanos, who carries a slack smile. You didn’t even notice the quick look he shared with his friend.

“Don’t worry, baby girl, first time is always rough.”

“Do you want to try again? I doubt you inhaled anything with that.” Namgyu offers.

You suck in a breath, cringing at the man beside you, but he gently takes the joint from your fingers, his touch lingering a moment.

”Trust me, it won’t hurt as bad this time.” He gives you a sheepish smile.

”There’s nothing to worry about, baby. You’re safe, we got you if anything happens.” The purple haired man reassures you.

You nod, adjusting your frame to face Namgyu completely. You wanted to try this after all. It’ll probably be your only chance to try it anyway. You gotta live, you know?

Namgyu brings the paper to his lips, sucking in deeply while his eyes never leave yours. His intense stare ignites a flame deep within your belly, and before you know it, his palm slides over your knee. The warmth of his flesh simmers over your skin, his pinky toying with the hem of your dress before leaning close. His other hand comes up to gently caress your jaw, tilting your face up to him.

His scent has you surrounded and you’re incapable of moving. His intense stare drawing close and the wafts of swirling smoke and cologne filling your nostrils paralyzes you. For what felt like forever and a second all at once, his nose grazes your cheek, bringing you back into reality.

“Open, baby,” Thanos murmurs from across the table.

Opening your mouth for him, Namgyus soft lips graze yours and begins pushing the smoke inside. This time, the smoke felt smooth, hydrated and warm.

”Breathe in.” Thanos guides again.

You inhale slowly with every push he gave until there was nothing left. Once done, he lingered close to watch your every move. You felt his breath tickle your cheek, hot and intoxicating. Looking up at him through thick lashes, his gaze was already upon you, eyes swimming dark with desire. Losing yourself in the moment, heartbeat thumping between your ears, you almost didn’t notice that the couch dipped behind you.

“My turn.”

Thanos’s arm slithers around your shoulder to grab the blunt from the other man, once again snapping back to reality and releasing your hypnosis from Namgyu. His chest presses firmly against your back, his different scent wafts up to your nose, filling your scenes with clean shampoo, cigarettes and an airier cologne. The paper crackles when he takes a hit, incredibly close behind to your face before you feel his fingers sliding up the front of your neck. With his palm flat over your trachea and fingers splayed along your jaw, he adds pressure in turning your head into his lips.

Thanos’s lips were hungrier than the other, confidently latching onto you, pushing the smoke inside your mouth with his tongue. You take him fully, inhaling every last bit of smoke he gives. His lips were sweeter than Namgyus. Traces of candy burst your tastebuds.

The palm that caresses your neck slides up to your jaw, the pads of his fingers pet against your flesh, sending wavelengths of chills down your spine.

Once he was finished, he pulled away only a mere centimeter to allow you to exhale.

The duo continued this for another round, guiding your face back and forth between the two of them. Each time their lips lingered longer and longer, hungry to devour you whole. Like they were waiting for you to make the first move, or waiting to see who of the two would begin the downfall. It was only a matter of time that you felt the side effects creeping through your veins, viciously spreading throughout your body. It was gradual at first, until it hit you head on like a door being opened in a hurricane. Your skin prickled and crawled, while your mind grew hazy and light. Their faces became one, meshed together in a vision.

You began to giggle.

“There’s our girl,” Namgyu’s knuckles graze over your chin, his other hand creeping up your thigh, palming at your muscle.

”Feels good, yeah?” Thanos lets you lean back into his chest, his arms slung over your waist. The joint lays forgotten in the ashtray, but the musky scent lingers heavily.

You giggle and nod in response.

“I’ve never felt like this before! I feel… feel…” you nuzzle yourself against Thanos, “so relaxed.”

”Hey,” the mans chest behinds you vibrates, lulling you deeper into your high. You want him to do it again-

“Keep talking it feels good,” you mumble.

”Baby, you know what would feel even better?”

You hum, drifting, drifting… Namgyus kneading over your thigh feels too good.

“Sit up for me.” Thanos says lowly, but you remain, completely entranced by Namgyu’s ministrations.

Thanos shot his friend a look, stopping him from teasing you. You protest when his warm palm leaves your skin, only to be replaced by thick arms hooking under your pits to lift you up.

”Here we go, sweet girl, up,” Namgyu says softly before placing a chaste kiss under your ear and turning you around over Thanos.

You adjust to your newfound position, straddling the purple haired man. You open your eyes to find his face close to yours underneath you.

“Su-bong, I feel great.” You smile sweetly, tilting your head to observe him in the purple ambience. He looks so beautiful.

Blue eyes swimming with an emotion you can’t decipher scan over your face before he pulled up into a deep kiss. Large hands tug your hair and pull you impossibly deeper, and for a moment you feel like you might suffocate. It was voracious and wet, his tongue slipped past your lips instantly to taste you fully. He rumbled, a groan that came deep from his chest awakened all your senses.

Your core rested fully now over something hard and warm.

Thanos breathed into your kiss, devouring your lips like he was a man starved. His hips bucked up into you, igniting the fire between your legs. Your body erupts in a hazy desire grinding back into him, letting a sweet moan fall past your lips.

Rocking back into his thrusts, Thano’s breath becomes ragged and the hands that pull you close search your body, running over every curve like he was carefully studying you. Your mind’s completely drifting into this ecstasy so much so that you completely ignore the feeling of Namgyu flipping up your dress to expose your ass.

The other man sits up and kneels before the two of you to palm his cock over his sweatpants.

“Wish you could see the way her ass bounces from back here, oh my god.” Namgyu groans.

This earns a growl from Thanos before his exploring hands move south to grip your ass, spreading you open. Namgyu could almost cry at seeing the wet spot on your panties now spread in full view for him.

Your cunt drags along Thano’s thick shaft as he dry humps up into you. Your body rocks roughly over his between wet kisses. Your mind spins, your body completely limp in his grasp, his blunt fingernails dig into your flesh like he’s afraid to lose you.

Namgyu leans forward a slender finger to trace along your wet core over your panties, the other hand palming himself a little more roughly.

“She’s so fucking wet, T, look.” Pulling your panties to the side, you jump at the sudden intrusion of his finger.

“It’s okay, pretty girl, just want him to taste you.” Slowly, Namgyu scoops up your slick to rub between his fingers. You’re sweet and sticky like honey, and he admires the sight. He allows himself to play with the juices between his fingers, watching sticky strings expand and droop before his friend growls - a warning to hurry up. At that, he leans forward to present the sight to his friend.

When Thanos breaks the kiss, you groan, hanging your head in the crook of his neck. You inhale his sweet cologne mixed with sweat, drifting once again in pure bliss. Your core aches for release now, so you mindlessness hump and hump when Thanos turns his head to taste his friend’s fingers, moaning before he does just at the sight of your slick.

“Holy shit, you’re so sweet.” He groans.

”Let’s bring her to the bedroom, yeah? The couch is too small for this.”

[filiazpink]

🩷"OH PRIMUS,,,"🩷

orion pax x femme + superior! reader x d-16 warnings: suggestive language (like- once but still), darkwing being darkwing, i’m a sucker for cheesy stuff, really minor transformers one spoilers (?)

summary: orion finds himself completely enamored with one of his superiors and d-16 doesn’t really mind it, until one day, you show up at the mines.

a/n: my very first tumblr fic!! i might post this on my AO3 account as well! hope this reached your expectations considering more than 200 people voted for this prompt on my poll  =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪‧̣̥̇) ill get to some of the other prompts shortly after, i just wanted to know which one would be best to start with (and to properly introduce my writing to tumblr teehee) !! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated !! ENJOY!! 💞💞💞

word count: 1139

proofread: minimal (lemme know if there's any errors!!)

read part 2 here: 💞💞

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

orion simply couldn't stop thinking about you.

your shiny and colorful armor, your beautiful optics, your height and strength. that voice. the power and authority you had over him. that power rivaled sentinel prime’s in his eyes. everything.

you were simply breathtaking. 

…

“earth to orionnnn, come on, rust bucket!!” pink servos waving at him frantically snapped the red and blue mech out of his trance. focusing his glance, orion watched as elita-1 gave him one of the scariest faces he’s seen yet, followed by d-16 behind her with his arms crossed, looking at his friend with a disappointed expression.

“what’s wrong with you?! you broke protocol, AGAIN!” elita pulled the miner to his feet, groaning in annoyance. orion’s dumb dopey smile quickly turned into a shocked frown and he was about to ask what he did now, but thankfully, his friend answered for him.

“orion, buddy, i know,,, i know you just wanted to save jazz from that explosion but you almost got killed doing that, man.” d-16 looked to the side, avoiding his friend’s gaze.

“you can’t keep doing this, pax. ONE more stunt like this and I’LL be the one to get-”

“what happened here??” elita snapped her head towards the newcomer’s voice, expecting maybe another miner, but her angry scowl quickly faded away once she saw who it was.

it was elita’s superior. 

it was you. 

oh primus, beautiful, amazing, spectacular you. orion felt a rush of warmth cover his face as you walked in along with,,,

oh- with darkwing. of course he was there with you.

STILL- you just showed up with no prompting, and two days in advance no less?? clearly, this was important.

orion fixed his posture and tried to dust off any grime he had on him. d-16 chuckled quietly at his best friend’s excitement, before turning his attention to you.

“(y-y/n)! i thought you were coming to check on our sector in t-two days! i’m so sorry you have to see my team like this i swear it was an accident-” the poor pink bot stammered, much to darkwing’s amusement and to your confusion.

“what accident? the cave collapsing? that’s normal, elita-1. don’t worry about it. you’re telling me it was a complete accident so i will take your word for it.” hearing those words coming from you made elita feel like she was just told that sentinel finally found the matrix of leadership.

“oh, thank you, thank you,,,” orion and d-16 watched as elita continuously thanked her superior, chuckling. 

“well, that means we don’t get our butts kicked too, thank primus (y/n) was here.” the red and blue miner said, walking away from the scene with his pal.

“yea and now we can just finish this shift and relax-”

“d-16?” the two stopped in their tracks, slowly turning around in an almost comical way to face the much taller femme. 

orion’s servos trembled. he felt embarrassed, he was over here making a fool of himself with how obvious his crush on you was. literally everyone who steps foot in the mines knew about it, aside from, clearly, you. heck, even darkwing seemed to know, considering that despite his optics not being visible, he clearly was glaring at the cog-less bot whenever he tried speaking to you during past visits.

or maybe it was just his usual routine of hating cogless bots.

d-16, however, gulped and let out the tiniest of “yes?”. ohhh boy, what now?? did you assume that the cave collapsing was his doing?? did darkwing tell you that-

“you’re at the top of your ranks here, correct?” his train of thought was interrupted by your soft voice, watching as you knelt down to his height, placing a hand on his shoulder, which shocked him a bit. orion stared at the polished hand on his best friend’s rusted shoulder with envy, his optics narrowing just a smidge.

“i already spoke to elita about this, but i also want you to hear it. i’ve heard some great things about you, and how you excel amongst your ranks. so i just wanted you to hear this.” d-16 felt frozen.

‘what is this,,, feeling? my face is burning,,’ oh indeed it was. his face flushed in a deep blue as he anxiously waited for your next words. just your soothing voice got him like this and he simply couldn’t understand why.

“,,, i need you.”

,,,

WHAT???

the first to react was darkwing, who let out a very outraged grunt of confusion, as if you just cheated on him with a MINER of all bots in his face, followed by elita, the other miners and orion gasping, everyone turning their heads towards the two.

“,,,w-what?” the gray miner’s voice box barely even processed his astonished question. he felt as if his circuits were frying up by how hot he felt. 

orion’s expression showed bewilderment and a hint of betrayal. this,,, wasn’t fair?? well- he knew it wasn’t d-16 who said that to you, but he still couldn’t help but feel jealous.

he wished it could have been him.

but then finally, you realized what you just said and removed your hand from the shorter bot’s shoulder, standing up straight and bumping into darkwing’s chest armor. “oh- p-please excuse me. i- uh, i chose my words wrong.” 

the onlookers decided to stop eavesdropping, realizing it was a simple mistake on your part. that made orion sigh in relief, which didn’t go unnoticed by d-16. but his attention was quickly brought back to you.

“my apologies, i- i would never say such things- not during work hours, i’m sorry- what i meant to say, i need you- as in i need you to help keep up the good work to motivate the other miners to do the same. it helps your ranks as it helps mine if we all put our parts to make a difference. s-so, yea.” you looked around, avoiding eye contact, a small blush remaining on your face. both miners nearly swooned at such a cute expression on your face.

“i just needed to do an early check up according to sentinel, that’s all. thought i’d try and give some pep talk and you can see i have to work on that,,” you giggled before clearing your throat and staring down at the mesmerized bots.

,,,

“goodbye.” and with that being said, you quickly marched back to the main exit with a very, VERY jealous darkwing in tow. 

orion turned his gaze to his best friend, who watched you depart with a dreamy look on his face. the red and blue bot sighed and gently shook his shoulder.

“d?,,,” oh he knew. 

he recognized that stare. the same stare he gave when he saw anything megatronus prime related, that same glimmer in his optics. it was that same spark that orion had when he first saw you.

oh primus.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

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[it-was-summer]

... And Fall In Love Whenever You Can.

A/N: This fic genuinely had me tearing up as I wrote it. Therefore, it shall hold a sweet place in my heart. As a kid, I used to say, "If something makes you feel, then it is good." I still believe that today. If it makes you happy, sad, flustered, ANYTHING! To feel something while reading is such a beautiful reaction to media. I often cry at movies, I cry when I read romance novels, I cry when I read poetry, and I laugh when I do, too. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you feel something, Em <3 (I also apologize for vanishing; I got sick, and it made me feel brain fog)

Link to the Ao3: ... And Fall In Love Whenever You Can Link to the: Yee olde masterlist Tags: Grief support group, mention of death(s), loss of romantic partners, struggling with mental health, tears, the rise and fall that is nonlinear healing, fear of forgetting a loved one, falling in love after tragedy, Spencer sounds like he had therapy, Maeve mentioned, guns mentioned, she/her pronouns for reader used at like one point, Reader's POV for the most part, Reader is in extreme denial and feels guilty, a secret other thing??, lightly proofread tehe!

Genre: Light Angst, Some? Hurt/Comfort, Fluff! Pairing: Season10! Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Plot: Meeting Spencer at a grief support meeting might be the best and the worst thing to ever happen to you- but it's all relative in the eyes of love.

Word Count: 9,791

You were pacing a dimly lit parking lot outside of the funeral home. It had been eleven months, two weeks, and three days since Alexander’s death. The grief meetings occurred every third Wednesday, and everyone was lovely enough. You just couldn’t find it in yourself to go inside this particular Wednesday. Because it was on this date, two years ago, Alexander had gotten on one knee at the aquarium and asked you to marry him. It was two years ago that you had said yes, not knowing that a little over a year from then, he’d be dead. 

Your feet kept making strides to the double door entryway, only to slow to a stop when your hands reached the door’s push handle. Then, you’d shake your head and turn around to circle the parking lot once more. With your luck, the meeting would be over before you even got the courage to go inside. 

A groan escapes your throat as you firmly put your hands on your hips, tilting your head to the Summer sky. “I’m sorry,” Your voice is raw, barely a whisper as you struggle to keep yourself from crying. You knew everyone said not to keep it in, to express your grief freely. It minimized stress. At least, that’s what the grief counselors say. 

The worst part was no longer knowing who you were apologizing to— yourself or Alexander. 

You were walking around one of the parking lot’s street lamps when you saw someone standing at the doors, frozen in place. It was like watching a mirror of yourself—rigid shoulders, twitching hands, shaking head. 

You approach the man slowly, your image warped in the reflection of the glass doors. He turns to face you before you can speak, and he looks like you did eleven months ago. His eyes have dark circles around them, tinted with a red water-line and dull cheeks. That doesn’t stop you from gracing him with a gentle smile, “Are you going inside?” 

His eyes meet yours for a second, looking away to glance back at the doors. “I’m not sure.” His voice is quiet, scared. He sounds like he is still on the fence. You nod, drawing your lips into a tiny line as you drop your hands to your sides. “Are you?” He asks, stepping out of the way for you. 

You feel your mouth open to say you are going inside, but the words never come. Instead, you shake your head side-to-side timidly. “I’m not sure either,” You laugh out feebly. He nods, a dull smile gracing his delicate features for a millisecond before looking off with a forlorn expression. 

“I was thinking about walking around the parking lot again… to try to gain the confidence to go inside. You’re,” you pause, wondering if it's a good idea to offer the man an invitation, “You’re welcome to join me if you’d like.” 

The man looks at you again, his eyes widening for a second. You’re sure he’s about to decline, return to his car, and drive away, but he nods. You feel yourself smiling. It’s a little subdued, but it’s real. You mouth a silent ‘okay’ as you move your hands to your pant pockets, stepping away from the doors with this mourning stranger. You figured you didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to, so everything was quiet as the two of you slowly walked around the large parking lot. 

Eventually, your quiet stranger speaks, “Thank you,” 

You shrug a little, sniffling, “It’s daunting, especially the first meeting.” 

He frowns a little, watching your eyes flit over to him and then back to the night sky. “That obvious?” 

“Only a little, but that’s not a bad thing.” Your voice is gentle as your feet slow to a stop, a light smile appearing on your face as you stare into the night. Spencer tilts his head to look at the stars, silently hoping that what makes you smile will make him smile, too. “Do you see her yet?” You ask, voice like honey. 

He feels like crying as he says, “No,” He doesn’t even know who you’re looking at. 

Your right hand is coming out of your coat pocket as you point to Cassiopeia slowly, tracing the stars with your index finger. “Cassiopeia, she’s a little low right now, but in a few months, she’ll get higher. You see her?”

And Spencer does. He feels his body relax, just for a moment. “I do.” He feels himself smiling a little at the sky, and the feeling feels almost foreign. His gaze falls back to you as you stuff your right-hand pack into your pocket, “I’m– I didn’t introduce myself earlier. I’m Spencer.” 

“That’s alright; I didn’t introduce myself either,” you sigh before you tell him your name. He nods at your response and follows you once your feet start moving again. 

“Have you—” He motions to the funeral home in the distance, “ever been inside?” 

“Oh, yeah. I’m a funeral home grief support group regular.” You joke lightly, though the soft chuckle you let out sounds like a sad one. 

He nods, nervously adjusting the beige cardigan on his chest. “Is everyone—I mean—” He draws his lips closed as he tries to gather his thoughts. “Do you like it?” 

Your feet slow for a second as you think about it. Sure, everyone was friendly, and the support was more helpful than harmful. But did you like it? You give him a little nod when you answer, “Yeah, it’s been nice. Less,” You tilt your head slowly like you’re choosing your words carefully. “Less Lonely.” 

Spencer lets out a relieved-sounding sigh as he mutters a gentle “Right.” 

“I just,” You swallow carefully, “I’m having a hard time going in today. My fiancé proposed two years ago today. I just— I mean everyone inside knows, I just,” You trail off for a second, sniffling lightly as a cool breeze brushes against your watering eyes. “It doesn’t matter.” 

Spencer didn’t know what to say to that. With Maeve, he had barely met her in person before she was murdered in front of him— the future pulled out from under him. Nowadays, he spends his time rereading books, remembering conversations on the phone, and mourning her silently in his apartment. Sometimes, he didn’t know which would be worse: losing her when he did or ten years down the line. Nonetheless, there is no Maeve to help him answer that question. 

He struggles to find the words for a second before he nods, slow and unsure of himself, “It matters.” 

You grin at how scared he sounds, the sound of a man holding on to the memory of a face that keeps fading away in his mind. “I know,” you can feel the ghost of the engagement ring on your left hand, a ring that now lies in a coffin. 

As the two of you get close to the building once more, you ask, “Are you going to go in?” 

Spencer swallows hard, the knot in his throat making it difficult for him to breathe. “Maybe next meeting,” 

You nod, “Me too.” You stare at your car in the distance before you feel yourself standing in the parking lot with Spencer— unmoving. “I know it’s not a lot, and I know that I can’t help that much, but,” You pull your phone out of your pocket, opening the keypad cautiously before holding it out to him. “If you ever want to talk about it, or anything really, I’d be happy to talk with you.” 

Normally, Spencer would decline such a kind gesture. He would thank you, drive home, and find solace in something familiar. His fingers twitch lightly as he reaches out for your phone, staring down at the keypad for a second before he puts in his number. He doesn’t know why he wants to talk with you. He thinks it’s because talking with a stranger about Maeve seemed less daunting than talking about it with his coworkers— his friends. You barely know him, and that makes your offer seem safe. No preconceived notions, pity, or gentle promises of being there for him, just a stranger talking to another stranger. 

Two weeks go by like usual— no text from your stranger named Spencer, coffee for one at the café that was Alexander’s favorite, taking his mom to dinner on Thursdays, and so on. Sometimes, the days blur into a muddled painting filled with muted tones, and you try your hardest to remember when everything had a vibrant hue.

Most days are easy, easier than most, at least. It’s not that you forget about him. You remember him when you see a couple holding hands or golden retrievers going for walks, you think about him with everything you see, and it feels good to remember him. You’re happy to have known him so well, loved him so deeply. But all the love inside you has nowhere to go, so you go to his grave on Saturdays, hoping you can pour all the love in your heart onto a tombstone with his name on it. It never works, of course, but it helps. 

You're running late this particular Saturday morning. You have two coffees in hand—one of which always goes untouched—and you’re stuck on the metro. That’s when you see him again, your stranger sitting in the fluorescents of the railcar. 

Pushing through a small crowd, you approach him, slowly taking the empty seat next to him. Spencer doesn’t look up at first, his eyes glued to the book in his hands. That is until you’re leaning over to him to say a small “Hello,” 

He jumps at the sound, head snapping to look at you with wide eyes. He doesn’t know why he’s so surprised you remember him, but he is. “Hello,” 

Your eyes meet his, “Do you remember me? I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have invaded–”

“No! I mean, yes, I remember you. You’re not invading my space. You’re fine.” 

You let out a relieved sigh, looking away from him for a second to look down at the cups in your hands. His eyes follow your gaze, and he offers you a shy smile, “Are you meeting someone?” Small talk was never his strong suit. 

You look at him, eyes lingering on his polite smile. “Oh,” you laugh like it's funny. “No, it's just me.” Spencer gives you a confused look, and you quickly answer his silent question. “I visit Alex’s grave. He loved black coffee. It was the most unsettling thing about him.” 

Spencer doesn’t know how you’re smiling so wide as you say it. How could you talk about someone you lost and smile so wide talking about them? Would he smile like that one day? Would he even have things to smile about, or would what-ifs haunt him until the day he dies?

You find that you hate the silence that follows, the lack of sound creeping over your skin, making you itch to say something more. “I’ve always liked cemeteries too, so bonus, I guess.” 

That gets you a sharp laugh, “You’ve always liked cemeteries?” Spencer’s eyes seem slightly brighter now, less red than two weeks ago, and they’re laser-focused on you. 

You happily nod, “Always thought they were beautiful. It’s a creation of love, a way for your love for someone to live on.”

“Not sure everyone thinks about them that way,” 

“Well, I guess they wouldn’t, and that’s alright with me.” You hum softly as the intercom announces in a static-filled voice that the railcar will be moving soon. “It’s quieter that way.”

Spencer glances towards the intercom for a second before turning back to you, “I suppose you’re right— about the quiet thing, not sure I agree with always liking them.” And he’s smiling at you, a real smile. 

You feel yourself smiling back, wide as ever, “What’s your opinion on cemeteries then?” 

“I’d like to say I don’t have an opinion on them, but if I had to form one, I would say they’re…” He trails off for a second, thinking about it more now. He laughs for a second, “Well, I suppose I find them rather serene.” 

Your eyebrows raise for a second as you study him. How he seems to be relaxing in the conversation, and you can’t help but consider extending him an invitation to your weekly visit with Alexander. The longer you stare at him, the more you think the worst he can say is no, so you ask. “Would you like to join me?” 

Spencer reels back slightly at the invitation; it feels intimate, yet he doesn’t want to say no. He wants to see what you see, to understand your mind, “I–” He looks away for a second, staring at the still-opened book in his lap. “If you’ll have me.” 

Once you are on the street, you hum lightly while walking beside him. Spencer doesn’t seem to mind very much, his fingers fiddling with the edges of his book that now resides closed in his hand at his side. He’s nervous for some reason. He doesn’t understand why you invited him, nor why he said yes. He thinks maybe he should announce that he has other plans, turn on his heel, and book it in the other direction. 

But when the two of you tread closer to the cemetery gates, you start talking again. “I hope you don’t find it strange that I invited you. It’s been a little under a year– well, a year next week– and I know it might seem weird, but I’d like to think he’s happy about me having a new friend.” 

He knows it is a coping mechanism, and he knows Alexander cannot feel anything anymore. Spencer’s a man of science, but hearing you say that makes him feel at ease. His shoulders unwind slowly, “He sounded like a nice person,” 

You let out a playful hum, “Sometimes. If he didn’t like you, he made it pretty obvious.” You pause for a second, glancing over at Spencer. “He was tall, kind of like you, and nerdy. But he was so funny; no one knew how funny he could be. They never listened hard enough, you know? I hated that people would talk over him in a crowd. To me, he was the only person worth listening to.” 

Spencer finds him smiling at that, following you as you take a left. He sees that you're smiling, too, and when the two of you get to his grave, you’re still smiling. You let out a happy sigh as you talk, introducing Spencer as “Your new friend.”

For a while, you tell him stories—memories from when Alexander was still alive—and he finds he doesn’t mind listening to them. He sees them as a great distraction from his lack of happy stories with Maeve. You’re laughing a little as you tell him of the time that Alexander’s mother wouldn’t stop sending him a massive, bulk-sized trail mix every time she sent him a care package in college. He had so many bags that they lived under his bed for the better part of four years. 

“Did he even like trail mix?” 

“Honestly? Yes, but he only liked the chocolate and peanuts. It would just be massive bags with an abundance of raisins inside.” You shake your head a little as you stand next to Spencer. 

Spencer lets out a slightly amused hum. His mind keeps going over how good you are with everything. You talk about Alexander openly. You don’t hold your feelings back. You smile so wide, even when you look at his headstone. He wants to know your secret— some secret to grief that he has yet to uncover.

His mouth opens briefly, closing quickly as he shifts his weight awkwardly beside you. He sucks in a nervous breath as he tries to muster up the courage to speak. “How do–” He sighs heavily, “I mean, I’m sure you struggle–” He licks his lips nervously, your eyes meeting his slowly. “When does it stop hurting?” 

You’re silent for a second, your soft smile fading as you stare at him. He’s scared that maybe that’s the wrong question to ask as he watches you turn your head to look down at Alexander’s grave. He is about to apologize when you whisper, “It feels different now.” 

Spencer’s mouth snaps shut as he waits for more, his eyes scanning your side profile slowly for some sort of sign that you’re uncomfortable. “Last year, it just felt like–” A pause, your free hand rising to your chest slowly. “It felt like someone had plunged a dull knife into my chest and left me for dead.” 

Spencer’s chest tightened for a second, his own heart feeling painfully dull as he listened to you. 

“But, I’m not the one who died. Alex did. I was so angry— disappointed that he had the nerve to leave me when we were about to start the next chapter of our lives together. I had–have– all this love inside my heart for him, and he’s gone. It took me a long time to understand that, to be okay with it.”

Your words catch in your throat, and you clear your throat quickly. The familiar burn of tears threatens to build in your eyes as you force yourself to look at Alexander’s grave. “He was so kind, and once I got past that feeling,” your voice sounded thick. “Life kept going, and so did I. He wouldn’t have wanted me to stop living my life. When you love someone, you only want them to be happy– with or without you.” 

You sniffle lightly, relaxing your shoulders slightly, “It never stops hurting, I guess, but days get better. I’m happy that I got to be a part of his life. I find some comfort in that. Somewhere, in the story of him, I’m there.” Eventually, you find the courage to look over at Spencer. When your eyes meet his, you find that he’s staring at you with a compassionate expression. You can see the understanding in his eyes. You swallow hard, pushing the emotional lump down your throat. 

“It does get better.” You whisper, your voice warm. 

Spencer nods quickly, mouthing a little ‘I know’ before his eyes trail away from you for a second. A cool breeze passes between the two of you when he says, “Just needed the reminder,” 

The next time you see him, it’s the third Wednesday of the month, and he sits right next to you. You find yourself smiling a little when he does, nudging his shoulder playfully as more people fill the space. He scoffs playfully, the silent gesture letting you know he’s happy you’re here. 

The meeting passes like usual: New members share their stories, grief counselors hand out business cards with their phone numbers, recurring members offer kind sentiments, and then, just near the end, your seat partner stands up. 

Your eyes widen for a second as you watch Spencer stand, his eyes laser-focused ahead as people turn to look at him. You watch how his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. A shaky breath leaves him as he tries his hardest to start talking. His hands flex for a second, pressing against his pants to wipe off what you can only assume is sweat. 

He stutters for a second, his confidence creeping away from him. You’re surprised when he turns his head to look at you. His breathing steadies as he watches you. “I’ve been having difficulties sleeping again. After,” His hands move a little as he speaks, his eyes periodically looking towards the rest of the group before trailing back over to you, “I just– I used to have a hard time sleeping, and lately, it’s been happening again. Every time I sleep, I see her, and I feel so–” He used to dream of her after her death, dreamt of touching her, but these were different. Dreams that constantly left him waking up feeling devastatingly alone. 

He shakes his head a little, “It’s been seven months, and I keep dreaming of everything that could have been.”  

The confession is met with comfortable silence and sympathetic looks, but not from you. You’re nodding, an encouraging smile spreading across your face. For some reason, he likes that better. “I don’t like leaving her when I wake up.” The admission feels like a weight lifting off his chest when he says it. 

There’s a pause of silence before he sits down, unsure of what else to say besides his admission. As one of the counselors begins to talk to Spencer, he finds himself listening intensely. Seven months, and he’s finally willing to take some much-needed advice. 

After that month’s meeting, Spencer has back-to-back cases. He’s keen on keeping in contact with you, which you’ve said he doesn’t have to do if he doesn’t want to, but he insists. He likes having someone to update, a friend waiting to see him when he’s free. 

The next time he’s free, it’s a rare Saturday. He’s been awake since five and can’t seem to go back to sleep. He does keep dreaming of Maeve, but they’re a little different now. This time, he was in a cemetery with you. It was freezing, the kind of cold where you could see your breath, and you were laughing about something when the two of you bumped into her. Maeve’s not angry. She just laughs and glances at Spencer before hugging you. You hug her right back and say something– and that’s when he wakes up. 

Spencer doesn’t like the feelings that stir inside him with that dream: confusion, curiosity, sadness, something else. The feeling is warm, tinged with an overcoat of sorrow, and he finds himself needing a good distraction. 

However, reading isn’t helping, nor is the crossword. So eventually, he finds himself getting ready to go out for the day in the search of a good distraction that will get his mind off his dream.

He doesn’t know why he thinks about the cemetery where Alex’s grave is on his way to get coffee that day, but he does. A part of him feels that a nice walk will do him good, so, coffee in hand, he finds himself walking… then taking the subway… then ending up in front of Alex’s grave… alone. 

Spencer’s lips slightly pout when he sees no coffee cup on the headstone. He knows that you have yet to visit your late fiancé today. He doesn’t exactly know why he’s visiting your late fiancé today; without you, it feels… strange. 

The longer Spencer stares at the letters etched in stone, the more he feels a realization dawn on him. He feels guilty… guilty for dreaming of you, guilty for craving your warmth right now, and guilty for a million different little reasons. 

Spencer feels his lips part for a second, a sigh escaping his lungs, before he whispers, “I’m a mess. " He knows he’s talking to thin air, but he feels lighter, admitting it to himself. 

“I don’t know what I’m feeling. All I know is that I shouldn’t be, and it won’t do anyone any good, and secretly I think–” He sucks in a cold breath of air, “Secretly, I think I don’t deserve it.” The grave is silent, of course, but Spencer smiles anyway. 

For a while, he thought his future had passed him by. A brief image graced his vision before leaving him blind. He can see now. He sees that he still has things to do, goals to accomplish, people to meet. Then he’s walking away. 

Two meetings and four coffee ‘dates’ later, you’re rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet as you watch Spencer laugh over something with one of the grief counselors. It’s a strange feeling to see him laugh so openly. It's heartwarming if you’re being honest. It’s hard to explain it, and the feeling is too intense– too raw. It’s a feeling you dimly remember, and suddenly, you’re nauseous. 

You have a crush, which is incredibly laughable because you’re an adult. The last time you had a crush on someone was three years ago, Alexander. This almost feels cruel. The longer you stare at him, the more real it becomes. 

Spencer catches your eye for a second and excuses himself from the conversation in his polite Spencer way. When he reaches you, he smiles warmly: “Somebody’s all smiles.” You hum with a playful roll of your eyes. 

Spencer pouts for a second, good-natured and playful, as he mutters a little, “When did smiling become a crime?” 

“It isn’t. I’m just being observant, and you have a nice smile.” You try to keep your voice calm and level, but he seems to catch on anyway. Spencer’s eyes seem laser-focused on you, studying you carefully. Internally, you’re beginning to pray that his profiling skills fail to notice the classic signs: your sweaty palms, wandering gaze, and too-tense shoulders. 

And if he does notice… you hope he doesn’t say anything. That’s not Spencer’s way, and you know it. “Everything okay?”  

You nod quickly, “I’m good, sorry, I was just thinking about… bills.” You know he catches the lie the second you say it; you can see it in his amused smile. 

“Bills?” 

“Bills.” 

“I’m not sure I like this story you’re going with, but if you’re sticking to it, I won’t pry.” 

You nod, letting your shoulders relax as you sling your bag over your shoulder. “Thank you,” 

“I was thinking,” Spencer starts as he grabs his messenger bag, following you out. “We could get dinner together Friday night.” 

“Why?” Your tone is a little flatter than you’d like it to be as Spencer walks you to your car. You'll admit the idea of being alone with him is nice, but the admission feels strange— still too raw, surreal. 

“Because…” He trails off slowly, hoping to find a better reason than it being because he wants to have dinner with you, but the longer he sits with the ideas, the more he feels like you’ll turn down his idea. He feels self-preservation take over, and for the first time (and what he hopes is the only time), he lies to you. “My teammates are having a get-together.” 

“Oh!” You say as the two of you reach your car. “And you want me to meet them or?” The idea seems less daunting. Yes, Spencer and you had been to get coffee together, but that was just coffee. Dinner seemed too intimate, but dinner with friends? Now, that was less scary. 

“Yeah! Yes, I think it’d be nice!’ Spencer’s voice cracks slightly before nervously clearing his throat in a weak attempt to control the anxiety that creeps into his tone. “Would you… like to meet them?” 

You’re leaning against your car door, and the air smells sharp with the promise of snow, and Spencer’s sure you’ll decline. You grin, nodding slightly, “Sure, I mean, it’s just dinner with friends. What time Friday?” Your arms fold over your chest, pulling your coat closer to your body.

“Six.” He doesn’t know how his fake dinner has a time, but he’s surprised at how easy it is to come up with one. “Nothing fancy. I’ll, um, text you the address.” 

You watch him for a second, trying to read him the way he reads you. His voice seems higher in pitch, and his eyes keep glancing at yours. You chalk it up to him being nervous. The combination of two groups already frying his nerves before it even happens. “Can’t wait. See you Friday.” 

Spencer stuffs his freezing hands in his pockets as he watches you enter your car and drive off. Then, the panic sets in. 

He’s tailing Derek desperately, “Listen, I know it’s rushed, but–” 

“I don’t see why you can’t just text her the address and ask her out. Straightforward.” Derek says as he takes the left towards Penelope’s office. “Or you could say we canceled and make it just the two of you.” 

“Considering I already lied to her once, I’d rather not lie twice. And–” He fumbles with his words for a short second. “It’s not a date. I just thought she thought it was one, and I panicked.” 

“What’s wrong with it being a date?” Derek asks, knocking on the door gently before entering Penelope’s office. 

“Date?” Penelope echoes back as she turns in her chair. 

Spencer holds out a hand defensively, “It wouldn’t— it’s complicated! Please say yes. You’re the first person I’ve asked.” 

“Asked what? Am I going to be asked?” Penelope chirps as Derek hands her a coffee. 

“Pretty boy here,” Derek motioned to Spencer with a light wave, “Lied to one of his ladies. Invited her to a team dinner that doesn’t exist.”

“A team dinner would be fun! With a new addition, too!” Penelope said with a sip of her coffee. “When?” 

“Friday,” Spencer mumbles, avoiding her gaze. 

“Friday, as in, tomorrow Friday?” She sucks in a breath of air, “Spencer…” 

He frowns and mouths a little, ‘I know’. He looks at them, pleading, “Please, even if it’s just the two of you…” He trails off slowly, watching Penelope and Derek share a look. 

“I’ll text the rest of the group.” 

“Not the whole story,” Spencer adds as Penelope pulls out her phone. “Please.”

“I’m already doing you one favor, boy genius.” 

Spencer is surprised at how many of his team members agree to dinner. JJ, Penelope, and Derek all promise to bring their respective partners. Rossi and Hotch politely decline, but given his sudden plans, he doesn’t blame them. 

However, by the time five-thirty rolls around, he can see that he’s been played. The first text comes from JJ, claiming that Henry is sick and that she can’t make it. Derek follows, saying that he accidentally double-booked and cannot cancel his reservation with Savannah. He can feel himself sending a silent prayer to Penelope before she, too, is texting him to cancel. 

So now, he stands outside the restaurant in a long brown trench coat and purple scarf tied tight around his neck. When you arrive, adorned with a cream sweater and rosy cheeks, you ask him the inevitable: “Where’s the team?” 

Spencer's throat tightens as he answers, “They’ve canceled, so it’ll be just us if that’s alright with you?” 

He can see your smile falter momentarily before you nod, “That’s fine, another time.” You shiver a little, glancing towards the restaurant. “Should we…?” Spencer, silently elated that you aren’t leaving, nods and hurriedly rushes over to open the door for you. 

Once seated, you are greeted by a slightly uncomfortable awkward silence. You’re sure that it will soon resolve itself, but Spencer seems too lost in his thoughts, and it becomes clear that if you want this long silence to end, you’ll have to speak first.

“I’m sorry every–”

“Do you–” 

The two of you stare at each other briefly before laughing softly. Spencer’s eyes crinkle a little when he’s laughing, a feature you seem to be adoring silently before he says, “I’m sorry that everyone canceled.”

You push out a little breath, your gaze falling to the menu on the table. “That’s okay, I’m sure everyone has busy lives.” You shrug a bit before glancing up at him, “I do have a question for you, though,” You watch as Spencer’s back straightens, and he gives you a small smile as the ‘go ahead.’ 

You flatten out the front of your sweater nervously, “Do you think it’s weird that I was supposed to meet your friends— the team?” 

Spencer gives you a slightly confused look before you quickly add, “I don’t think it is, but I was talking to my coworker about tonight, and she said it seemed like an excuse for a date. Then I explained it, and she called it weird, and I don’t know—Do you think it’s weird?” 

Spencer can feel his cheeks heating up against his will, and his head shakes from side to side, “No! No, it’s not weird.” he pauses, thinking about it for a second. “Well, maybe a little. But not for you, for me. You’ve never expressed an intense interest in meeting them, but they mentioned bringing someone, and I thought—” He motions to you with a shaky hand, “Thought you’d be a good person to bring to dinner. You’re lovely, and my friend, and I—”  he feels the rest of his words die in his throat. He wants to tell you that he wants the team to meet you. He wants everyone to see how wonderful and kind you are. 

He feels his mouth dry, realizing he wants you to meet the team now. He wants a third party to witness your calming effect on him, and, most importantly, he wants them to like you because he likes you. 

A slow ringing grows in his ears at the full realization of his feelings for you. Your smile, usually calming, has his heart leaping in his chest. He finds himself leaning closer when you say, “I didn’t think it was weird either,” 

Spencer lets out a little huff of relief, “Good, that’s good.” His heart was beating fast in his chest. He knew he had feelings for you but was unaware of how deep they ran. 

“Though I will say, it is strange that they all canceled.” 

He feels awful lying to you. He can count two lies now and doesn’t want to tell a third. “Yeah, I can’t explain that one. They all did it at the last minute. I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t mind, though I was scared this was all a set-up for a date.” You laugh as if it’s the silliest idea you’ve heard. 

Spencer can feel his heart in his throat, his breathing quickening slightly. “Would it be bad if it was?” he can’t stop the words from spilling out, his eyes widening at his sentence.

Your surprised face stares back at his, breathless as you look at him. You’re about to say something when the waitress comes by to take your order. You manage a slight, polite smile as you order before you’re staring off at Spencer. His nervous eyes flicker between the waitress and you as he orders quickly. 

When she’s gone, you stare at each other with bated breath. You draw in a slow, calming breath when you say, “I don’t know,” 

“You don’t… know?” 

“I just, I haven’t thought about—” You pause, knowing it’s a lie. “I have—” You correct gently before you let out a frustrated sigh. “I thought we were friends.” Your voice cracks slightly. 

Spencer draws his head back at that, “We are friends. We are. I didn't know if you ever thought about—” He doesn’t know what he’s saying. What is he aiming for here?  

“Anyone dating you would be lucky, Spencer.” You say, sweet and gentle. You don’t know how to save this situation. Your love for Alexander will always be in your heart, strong and genuine, but… looking at the man across from you. 

You watch his fingers nervously trace patterns on the glass of water in front of him, how he’s looking at you with such a sweet expression. You just didn’t think this would happen to you. You were sure that Alex was it. He was all you would ever know— you had resigned yourself to it. 

Would you be a bad person if you fell in love again? After everything, it feels… selfish, dirty, wrong, terrifying. “I’m not sure I’m your best option.”  Is what you settle on. 

Your heart silently breaks as you watch Spencer’s face fall. His nervous fingers slow their movements until he whispers a sad, “Right.” There���s a pause, like he’s deciding what to do next. He then nods, like he’s coming to terms with something. 

“Right, I’m not saying I’m looking–” His brown eyes scan your face, “I’m not even sure I want something like that. I don’t know why it sounded like I was. I just want you to know that I—” He swallows thickly, “I like being your friend.” 

“Me too! I like being your friend, too.” 

“Good!”

“Great!”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, “So we’re on the same page?”

“Same chapter and everything.” 

Spencer lets out a huff of a laugh at that, nodding slowly. 

The rest of the dinner seems normal; the interaction from earlier seems to be brushed under the rug, and you’re grateful it is. However, the topic kept worming its way into your train of thought. The nagging thought of ‘What if…’. 

It's not a terribly horrible idea to date Spencer. If you were honest with yourself, you had thought about it before—not obsessively, just in passing. A little whisper of an idea, lovely and new. It was nice to fantasize about love, but it was just a fantasy. You had a great love, and you were grateful. 

Wanting more than that was greedy. 

After dinner, Spencer insisted on walking you home. He wouldn’t listen to a single one of your protests and simply convinced you with a firm, “I’ve seen what happens to people when they go off alone late at night,” 

The reminder made you readily accept his company on the cold December night. Walking by his side, watching how your feet started to sync in step, your mind began to wander. What did a date even feel like? It had been so long since you’ve had a date… you weren’t even sure you would know if you were on one unless it was explicitly said. 

The thought makes you chuckle, earning the interest of one Doctor Spencer Reid. “What’s on your giggling mind?” 

“Nothing,” You sigh, glancing over at him. “I was just thinking about how long it's been since I’ve been on a date. I don’t even think I would know if I was on a date if I was on one. Someone would have to sit me down and explain it to me,” 

Spencer’s lips quirk upwards at the idea, listening to you. The sweet look he’s giving you is not lost on you as you continue to ramble, “I mean, I’m not even sure I remember the last time I tried to look for a date.” 

“Care to take a guess?” 

“Uhm,” You draw out the sound as you think, your tongue wetting your lips. “Six months ago, maybe, kind of, sort of?” 

Spencer’s clever mind quickly realizes that this failed dating experience happened a month before he met you, and then he notes that it also happened ten months after Alexander’s death. “And.. What do you mean by that? How does someone, kind of, sort of, maybe look for a date?” 

You roll your eyes, “It wasn’t really my idea. My friends convinced me to go on some dating apps, and I tried!” You laugh lightly, “Well. I pretended to try. I just didn’t like it. It wasn’t what I expected.” 

“What were you expecting?” 

Your feet falter momentarily before finding their pace next to Spencer again, “Something from a Nora Ephron movie, maybe? Something like You’ve got Mail.” As you say it, you see the strange look on Spencer’s face, and it makes you grin. “It’s a romantic comedy.” 

He mouths a soft ‘oh’ and feels awkward because he still doesn’t know what you mean. You’re quick to explain, “It just means I had high expectations. Alexander and I were friends for a while before we,” You trail off before you wave the sentence off with your hand. “I just didn’t like it. Felt too forced.” 

Spencer understands that part, slowly taking a left with you. “Haven’t tried that yet.” 

“I wouldn’t recommend it.” 

He grins and nods, “What do you recommend?” His curious mind was getting the better of him. His left hand slipped out of his coat as he waited for your answer, his knuckles dangerously close to yours. 

“In a world seemingly becoming increasingly dependent on technology for everything? I’d recommend shooting your shot with every pretty stranger you see.” It's a joke, but the idea of Spencer asking for the numbers of every pretty person in DC made your chest feel strangely tight— a light reminder that your crush was still going strong. And you’ve already turned him down.

“I’m not sure you’ve been paying close attention to me these past four months,” He jokes lightly. 

“Oh, trust me, I have been.” The words tumble out before you can stop yourself, and you can feel your cheeks growing impossibly hot. 

Spencer’s quick to tease, “You have been?” 

You nod, trying to act like it's nothing but friendly, but your nervous breathing might give you away. You take a steady breath, happy to think that if he sees red on your cheeks, you can blame it on the cold weather. 

Instead, he slows to a stop just steps away from your apartment complex. You stop, turning to look at him, and when you see him, all composure leaves you with one little glance. Spencer’s ears are red, his hazel eyes glued to yours, and his hands nervously fidget with his long purple scarf. 

He draws in his lower lip nervously, his brow furrowing in the way that lets you know he’s meditating on something in that beautiful brain of his. His hands move as he begins to talk, “I have been too,” 

With that, you feel all the air knocked out of you, and your trembling fingers hide in your pockets. You’re not sure what he wants you to say or do. It feels like a confession, making your heart pound in your chest. His sweet eyes study you, “I’m not sure what I—” He steps closer. 

“Not sure what I want. All I know is that I feel something—” He makes a weird motion with his hands like he’s trying to shape his feelings with his hands. “Hopeful? I don’t know! I just,” 

“I know.” You rasp out, nodding quickly. “I know.” You repeat it because you do know. You know what he’s feeling, that dangerous feeling of tentative hope, the sense that something is beginning again. The world shifting into focus and becoming colorful again. 

Spencer’s gaze softens as that, and then the two of you just stare at each other for a moment. Guilt seemed to creep into your chest, invading your heart the longer you stared into those pleading brown eyes. Some part of you wanted to give it a shot, take him in your arms, and just let go. The stubborn part of you couldn’t let go of what you once knew. 

What would you say to your friends— or worse, Alexander’s family? Thinking about being happy with someone else again felt like a betrayal. 

Spencer could see the shift in your demeanor, the way your eyes glossed over with emotion, your back rigid, and he knew you weren’t ready. The feelings you were feeling were ones he wrestled with weeks ago after visiting Alexander’s grave. “I visited his grave without you a few times.”

 Your brows knit together at that, stuttering gently as you manage a soft “Why?” 

“I felt guilty about how I feel about you. I thought visiting his grave would make me back down, but it didn’t. I visited Maeve’s grave and thought about my feelings there too. She would have liked you.” 

“Spencer, don’t–”

“You told me once that he would’ve wanted you to be happy with or without him. Why can’t you let yourself be happy? I know it’s uncharted territory; it is for me, too, and he knows you don’t love him any less–” 

“You didn’t even know him!” 

Spencer's lips draw into a tight line at that. You can’t stop yourself before saying, “You don’t understand the love I had for him. It was different from how you felt about Maeve. It was special.” 

Your breathing is heavy, and you're trying to stop yourself from crying. The second you say it, you regret it. Your rigid posture slacks, and you step towards him quickly, but he steps back once you get closer. 

“You don’t get to say that,” his voice is colder, his eyes cast down to his hands. Then he takes a sharp breath and looks up at you; his warm hazel gaze turns cold. “My love for her was just as special as yours was for Alexander. I can see that, even if you can’t. But at least I can see when something exceptional is right in front of me. Unlike you, I didn’t want it to slip through my fingers again.” 

Your mouth feels dry as you try to respond, anger and guilt fighting an internal war inside you before Spencer turns on his heel and says, “Goodnight,” 

The snow starts again as you watch him walk away, blinking flakes out of your lashes, cheeks red from the tears falling as you watch him disappear around the corner. 

The conversation is still fresh in your mind at dinner with Alexander’s mom Tuesday night. She lives just outside the city in Maryland, so whenever she made her way into the city, you made it a point to meet up. 

She watches the way you’re staring at your sandwich. The intense look you’re giving the meal almost makes her laugh. “Don’t be upset with the club. We can always get you another sandwich, dear.” 

You raise your head slightly at that and let out a nervous laugh, “No, the sandwich is fine. I’m just thinking. I’m sorry, Shannon.”

Shannon lets out an understanding hum, waving you off with a simple flick of her wrist as you apologize. “Is it work?” 

You give her an easy smile, “Ah, no. It’s… confusing and probably boring; don’t worry about it.” She gives you a little look that says, ‘Come on, really?’ and it makes your smile widen. 

“When you retire, everything is confusing and boring, so lay it on me.” 

“Shannon, please, I promise you don—” 

“I will make you pay for this meal; do not force my hand.” 

“I am paying?” 

“Exactly. Now tell me what’s on your mind.” 

You slump in your seat and nod in defeat. “Alright, well,” you wet your lips nervously, trying to figure out the best way to tell her. “You remember last time I mentioned that I had that friend from the group? The genius—Spencer.” 

Shannon nods, motioning for you to keep going slowly, “Well, lately, he and I have become aware of some feelings for each other, and I–” You can feel your legs trembling, “He just doesn’t get it. I can’t do that to Alex or you. He just doesn’t understand—” 

“Sweetheart, slow down.” She held up a hand, an amused look on her face as you rambled at the speed of light. “Start over.” 

You let out a little huff, trying to calm your growing nerves. You roll your shoulders back, gaining some composure, “I have feelings for him, and I thought it was just a passing crush, but now it’s getting so messy. And he told me that he has feelings for me too, but I told him off, and we haven’t talked in four days– which would be fine if we didn’t fight, but we did— and I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?” 

“He’s really sweet and great, but I just… I keep thinking about my love for Alex and don’t want to let go of him.” Your voice gets quiet with the admission. “I’m happy loving just him, only him.” Your voice shakes lightly, forcing your gaze down, your eyes filling with tears. 

You hated telling her this— hated telling her that your stupid heart found itself attached to someone other than her son. You mentally prepare yourself for something, anything, yet you still cringe when you feel her hand rest on yours. 

“He’s dead–”

“I know–”

“No, listen,” Shannon says sternly, watching as you lift your gaze to meet hers. “He’s dead. Every day, I have to remind myself he’s dead. I know you do, too.” She frowns for a second before she gives you a weak smile. “But, you? You’re alive. You’ve experienced a loss no one should have to experience at your age, and yet here you are. Would he be ecstatic over you falling in love with someone else? Not quite, but I know my son. He wouldn’t want you to be alone. Or worse, unhappy.” 

You blink away tears, your bottom lip trembling, “I don’t want to forget him,” 

“Who said you’re going to?” Shannon jokes lightly, giving your hand a light squeeze. After a moment, she whispers, “Knowing Alex, he probably sent Spencer your way.” 

You laugh at the idea, but the sound dissolves into a little sob, “He would.” 

Shannon brightens momentarily, “He was always jealous of how good you were at trivia night. Maybe he wanted someone to beat you for once?” 

“Spencer can!” You laugh harder than you should, but you can’t help it. You picture Alex’s face, joking about how you have too much useless knowledge in your brain. 

As your laughter dies away, a wave of anxiety rolls over you. “I was awful to him last Friday.” 

“Then make it up to him,” 

After much deliberation, you knew you would, or at least, you would die trying. The next meeting was in two weeks, which seemed too far out. After three texts, two calls, and one voicemail, you decided to go to him. 

You had been to Spencer’s apartment once before and were sure it was on this block… maybe. It was early Saturday morning, and you could only hope he would look out his window and see you pacing the sidewalk. 

But an hour passed, and the cold wind forced you into a coffee shop down the block. Shivering as you waited for your coffee, you glanced at the unread texts you sent him one last time before stuffing your phone back into your pocket. 

Clearly, he didn’t want to see you, much less talk to you. You chewed on your bottom lip, lost in thought until you resolved that seeing him at the next meeting would have to do if he didn’t text you back before then. 

And so, two weeks and no texts back later, you sat in your usual foldable seat and waited. But he never showed. Your eyes watched the doors patiently, and you counted every last participant, thinking that the next one had to be Spencer. 

But they weren’t. He was nowhere to be found. You had sat on your feelings for him for weeks, sat on with nasty comments and behavior for two weeks, and found yourself still waiting. He didn’t have to attend every meeting, but you felt even more desperate than before. Hating the feeling, you left halfway through.

It wasn’t like you could force him to talk to or forgive you. But it hurt knowing just how much you had hurt him. Were you being selfish for wanting a chance to confess to him again? Was it selfish how you looked for him in every crowd? 

The unfortunate reality of your pain was that you were so scared of falling in love again that you pushed love away before it could even touch you. You found yourself driving to Alex’s grave that night. It was out of your way, but you didn’t want to go home just to wait by the phone again. 

After parking in a nearby parking lot, you found yourself standing in the middle of a very dark, isolated cemetery. If Spencer were here, he would say how dangerous this was, maybe even throw in a statistic just to solidify his point. 

You smile, eyes adjusting in the moonlight as you look down at your dead lover’s grave. You crouch, touching a bouquet of almost-dead flowers at the foot of his grave. “Was I bad at this with you, too?” Your fingers trace the brittle petals of a dying rose. 

You can hear the crunching of gravel and slush approaching you, and a part of you freezes. As the sound gets closer, you can hear panting, your head turning cautiously to look for your rapidly approaching company. 

When you see the silhouette of a man not too far down the trail, you tense. How stupid were you to be in a secluded area in the middle of the night? You curse under your breath and stay crouched, hoping it’s just a late-night jogger passing through and that he won’t see you if you stay low. 

Your eyes stay on the figure, and you mentally go over possible escape plans when you see it— a messenger bag. What kind of serial killer or jogger wears a messenger bag? Your tense shoulders briefly relax for a second at the thought. 

Then, a hint of moonlight illuminates your huffing stranger— messy brown hair and a crooked tie. You stand, “Spencer?” You say his name when he approaches you, the moonlight letting you get a glimpse of his soft eyes for a moment. “What are you… How’d you know I’d be here? What are you doing here?” 

“You weren’t at the meeting,” He huffs, leaning over to rest his palms on his knees. 

“I–” You scoff, slightly amused. “I left early. Did you show up?” 

“No,” he admits, his tone becoming sharper as he catches his breath. “No, I–” he hesitates for a moment, “I saw your car on my way home, and I got worried, and I–” He roughly drags a hand through his curls, “You shouldn’t be in isolated places like this late at night.” 

Your shocked expression melts, and your lips quirk into a slight smile. Spencer sees this and responds sharply, “I’m being serious!”

You hold up both hands, “I know, I—” You sigh, a slight chuckle following the sound before you say, “I knew you were going to say that. I could hear your voice when I parked across the street.” 

“Maybe you should listen to it sometime,” 

You nod, and then a moment of cold silence follows. The two of you stare at each other for a long moment before you feel your lips moving against your will, “You never called,” 

Spencer can feel his heartbeat quicken, “Wasn’t aware I had to.” 

“You didn’t have to. I just would have–” You cut yourself off, nervously licking your lips. “I wanted you to.” 

Spencer stays quiet before he replies with a soft “I’m sorry,” 

You find your smile returning as you shake your head, “That’s my line,” 

He lets a little chuckle at that, ready to tell you it’s okay, when you quickly add, “I’m sorry for how I acted three weeks ago. I shouldn’t have been so cruel or close-minded, and I should have been honest with you about my feelings. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry for implying your love for Maeve wasn’t special. Oh, Spencer,” You let out a heartbroken sigh, “I feel terrible. I was such a bad friend, and these past few weeks, all I’ve wanted to do is make it up to you.” 

You can feel the tears threatening to fill your vision, your cheeks burning in the cold as you let out a meek, “Tell me there’s something I can do to make it up to you,” 

Spencer can see your pleading eyes in the moonlight, and his chest tightens at the sight. Ignoring your calls and texts wasn’t easy, but he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. You weren’t ready to move on, and neither was he— not completely, but he didn’t want to try with anyone else. He only wanted to try with you. 

He swallows thickly when he says a sweet “You’ve already done it,” Then you’re beaming at him, and he’s right back where he was three weeks ago. As you dry your misting eyes, he softly confesses, “I watched You’ve Got Mail.” He pauses, smiling lightly when you give him a surprised look through your tears. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I–” He nervously moved his hands as he talked, “I watched any Romcom that I could get my hands on because I—” 

You smile as he trails off, his hands twisting together in that nervous way that tells you he’s scared to say the rest of his sentence— he’s too afraid to say he missed you. “Me too,” You confess, “I missed you, too.”

He nods, a grin on his face as he looks at you. He can feel his confession rising in his throat, his lips moving awkwardly as he tries to gain the confidence to confess to you again. 

But, before he can say anything, you’re speaking, “I don’t know if you still feel the same as you did three weeks ago, but I–” You swallow hard, clearing your throat softly. Your hands move with you as you speak, the cold making them feel slightly stiff. “For the longest time, I couldn’t imagine myself happy with anyone other than Alex.” You blow out a sigh, glancing back at his tombstone. “I thought one great love was enough— I only deserved one. I was happy with that, and I felt lucky for it.” 

You can feel yourself trembling, and you don’t know if it’s the cold or your nerves getting the better of you; nonetheless, you keep going, “But lately, I’ve been thinking— hoping really— that you’re the expectation.” You squeeze your eyes tight at that last bit, trying to calm your breathing as you wait for his response. 

“If anyone deserves more than one great love, it’s you.” Spencer’s voice sounds closer, soft. 

When you open your eyes, you realize he is closer, inches from you. You gaze up at him, giving him a light smile when he whispers, “We can take it slower,” 

“I like slower.” 

He laughs and nods, “Me too,” he holds out a cold hand for you to take, “Let me walk you to your car?” 

You stare at his palm, watching your cold fingers intertwine with his. The sensation makes the tips of your fingers buzz with anticipation. You feel his hand gives yours a slight squeeze before guiding you to the parking lot across the street. 

It’s not the last time you walk side-by-side, holding hands in the middle of the cold East Coast winter, and he’s determined to make sure it’s not your last. 

And whenever anyone asks how the two of you met, Spencer lets you tell the story, his hand slipping into yours as you say, “Well, it’s a bit of a long story.”

[choerrysjubiles]

So Good Back Then

pairing: anton x fem!reader

warning: cheating (DONT DO THIS!!!), language, lying? yeah theres probably lying somewhere in here, smut! protected and unprotected sex, mentions of food and eating, lots of plot minimal smut scenes

wc: 6.6k

a/n: this was genuinely so fun to write <3 i always want to write the best, which i hope this is pretty good, so i hope you can enjoy <3 any critiques or comments are greatly appreciated

also only proofread once, almost lost my mind doing that

song: Allie - Patrick Stump

As Wonbin set their drinks down onto the table he noticed how distracted Anton looked.

“Dude, you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You keep looking somewhere.” Eunseok said.

“It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? To stare at something or someone?”

“I just saw someone I might have recognized, it’s nothing.” Anton replied, brow furrowed as he grabbed his glass.

“Ooo, who is it?” Wonbin leaned in.

“No one, she’s probably not even who I’m thinking of.”

“Who do you think it is?” Eunseok pressed.

“No one, just someone from high school.”

“Vague as ever.” Wonbin took a drink of his beer.

They changed the subject, moving onto their work and plans for the recent future. As Anton sees you move to somewhere else he waits to plan bumping into you. He pushed his attention back to his friends, talking about Wonbin’s newest project before he saw you walk back. Excusing himself, Anton walked past you, bumping his shoulder against yours.

“I’m sorry.” He said, looking down at you.

“It’s fine.” You waved him off before continuing to walk away.

Yeah, it was you. Anton continued walking to the restrooms, ego a little hurt from you not recognizing you. He could tell it was you from across the bar, able to tell from the curve of your shoulder and your height. He didn’t even have to see you head on to know you.

Returning to his friends, he carried on his night pretending to not glance over at you. As he and his friends finished up, Anton stayed behind, wanting a final drink before leaving.

He lingered in his seat planning how he was going to strategically bump into you again. He’s gotta be smarter, though, he’s gotta call you over. Anton could feel his nerves flare off, anxiety bubbling in his hands as he thinks of how he’s gonna pull this off.

He stood up, careful movements moving towards the bar as you also moved there. He stood, looking at the tv while you stood by him buying something from the bartender. He looked down at you.

“Y/n?”

You perk up, looking over at him.

“Anton?”

“Hey, it’s been, like, forever.”

“Yeah, how are you? Are you still swimming?”

“Yeah, more as a hobby than professionally. Are you still doing orchestra?”

“Not really, it was fun but not sure about it long term.”

He nodded his head, “I didn’t know you were around here, do you live nearby?”

“Kind of?” You answered, “Not nearby but I’ve moved here not too long ago.”

The bartender handed you your drinks.

“Thank you.” You gave them a tip before getting your phone out.

“You live here?” You asked.

“Yeah.” Anton smiled.

“Here,” You handed him your phone, “We should keep in touch.”

Anton did the same, “Yeah, we should.”

He gave you your phone back and said goodbye as you collected your drinks to hand back to your friends.

Anton walked out of the bar, exhaling his anxieties as he smiled. He walked home, feeling a giddiness from seeing you after so long. The last time he was that close to you was in high school, that one party your mutual friend threw. Anton was so nervous around you, he knew his life was over after messing up the first of a few encounters with you.

Entering his apartment, he got a text from his girlfriend. Fuck, he completely forgot about her.

Gf <3: Are you alright? Anton: Yeah, just got back Gf <3: That’s good to hear Gf <3: You’re not hammered are you? Anton: No ma’am 🫡 Gf <3: Lol I do not believe you

Anton closed his phone. Fuck. How did he forget about her? His conscience completely slipped when he saw you. He could feel that high school crush swell back up in his chest after seeing you. He’s got to be careful. He can’t be doing anything stupid now.

Anton shook his head, what’s he even thinking about? He’s not here to cheat or break up with his girlfriend, he’s just wanting to reconnect with an old friend. Old friend-not really friends-crush person he almost knew. Fuck, this sounds bad.

He crashed down onto his couch. Thinking over his actions and thinking of what he’s doing. Taking a deep breath he tried to sober his mind, taking in what’s happened and how he can’t fuck anything up. His girlfriend is very nice and very loving, he doesn’t know you that well, how could he? You could be a total bitch and he could hate you.

He stood up, walking to his bathroom to shower before sleeping. A shower should sober him up.

Anton stood under the hot water, hoping it would help him but all it did was sting his skin. He took a deep breath. Thinking to himself, he realized that this was a small crush from what, five years ago? No way he’s still going to act weird or dumb around you. He has a life and responsibilities, reconnecting with someone can’t get in the way of that.

He turned the water off, feeling a bit better.

The following days were mundane, he went to work, met up with his girlfriend for lunches, phone calls with friends. Everyday was almost boring, a simple routine that felt almost numbing.

Y/n: I forgot to text you earlier! Sorry :(

Anton felt his heart skip when seeing your message. He forgot you exchanged numbers, completely forgetting to text you over the few days since you two met. Anton: I forgot, too :( sorry Y/n: It’s fine! We’re talking now :D Anton: Lol, you’re right Y/n: Are you busy? I don’t want to catch you at a bad time Anton: No, just got off work :) Y/n: Same! Finally got home Anton: I’m on my way home Y/n: You’re driving? Anton: No, sometimes I like taking the bus

Anton typed but cut out the part where he said his girlfriend drove him to work. Unsure why when he told himself nothing weird was going to happen. This is a text to a friend nothing more.

Y/n: How scenic :) Anton: Finally someone gets it! My friends always tease be about it Y/n: You’re friends sound lame :P Anton: Lol Anton: I’m at my stop, I’ll text you later Y/n: Bye!

Why did he not mention his girlfriend? Anton cringed thinking about it. But now he can’t just push in the “Hey I’m in a committed relationship!”

Anton walked to his building, putting his phone in his pocket as he pressed his floor number on the elevator. Making his way to his apartment, he thought of how he should handle this. Keep it public, you’re his friend, you’re his friend now. He opened his phone.

Anton: Home finally! Did you wanna meet up sometime? We could grab lunch :)

Anton cringes at himself, did he just ask you on a date?

Y/n: That sounds great! I don’t know many restaurants, I’ve been mostly cooking during my time here :) Anton: I know a few places, what do you like? Y/n: I’m not picky with food, surprise me! Anton: Great! Did you wanna go on saturday? Y/n: One sec, gotta check if I’m free

Anton waited in anticipation, his heard was beating like he was still in high school waiting for a stupid noted passed around asking “Do you like me?”

How was he going to explain this to his friends.

Y/n: I’m free all day :) Anton: Send me ur address and I can pick you up Y/n: Okay! Y/n: 1234 ____ st Anton: Great! See you then!

He fell back against his couch. He’s fucked if anyone sees. What place is he gonna take you? Somewhere he doesn’t go a lot. He’s got an idea or two in his head, checking his phone he realized it’s thursday already. Fuck. He’s got a day and a half to take you somewhere.

By the time Saturday rolls around, he texted you mid morning,

Anton: Y/n! We never settled on a time 😭 Y/n: Oh no! How about 1? Anton: That sounds great, I’ll pick you up then! Y/n: Cool!

He anxiously waited, not wanting any of his friends to bother him during this time. Anton stopped in his tracks, when the date started he could just turn his phone off. When the date that’s not a date started.

Anton let out a shaky breath, he just has to distract himself until the lunch started.

Gf <3: I miss you 😢  Anton: Oh no! Is something wrong?

He could feel his heartbeat quicken, this was not supposed to happen.

Gf <3: My mom is making me help her at her house! I can’t be with you rn :(( Anton: I wish I could come over :( Gf <3: Me too Gf <3: But my mom only wants the family here, she’s planning a remodeling thing for her kitchen Anton: Oh no :(

Anton sighs out. Divine interventions. A free afternoon, the only thing he’ll have to worry about is his friends and whatever they’re up to. Anton put his phone face down away from him, sitting on the other cushion of his couch and picked up a book to distract himself with until it’s noon.

When it was time, Anton changes into something better than the sweats he has on. A loose button up and some jeans; casual, comfortable. He jogged down to the parking garage before starting his car. Checking your address, he began driving over, his heart hammering in his chest. There’s nothing he can do now but feel a tinge of guilt as he continued driving.

Arriving, he texted you, wondering if he should walk in or wait in the car.

Anton: Here! Y/n: One second! I’ll be right here :)

He waited in his car, not wanting anyone to catch him hanging around the building. You stepped out, looking around before Anton rolled the passenger window down, waving at you.

“There you are!” You laughed, stepping into his car.

“Ooh, how nice.” You compliment.

“Thanks.”

Anton began driving, you looked around to see if you could guess where he’s taking you.

“I thought we could go to this one seafood place.” He said, trying to break the silence.

“Nice, I love seafood.”

Anton felt relieved, something settling his nerves finally.

When you enter, the place had a more rustic look to it. Sitting down, you looked over the menu before ordering.

“You moved here a while ago?” Anton asked.

“Yes, I was a few cities away but I found a good job here.”

Anton nodded.

“What brought you here?”

Anton thought, “Same situation?” He laughed, “I was kind of moving around, seeing different places for swimming before settling here.”

Before long your food arrived, you ate for a minute before continuing to converse. Anton felt a sense of calmness wash over him. Sure what he was doing wasn’t great, but he’s actually happy. Friends hang out, they have lunches together and catch up. Nothing’s bad. There should be no reason to feel guilty.

Even after eating and leaving the restaurant, you two felt more comfortable together now, the shifty, nervousness leaving.

“You do music?” You asked.

“It’s not that great but occasionally, yeah.”

“Sure, where do you post it?” You took your phone out, waiting to look him up.

“It’s mostly my friends, I help with the producing.”

“I’d still like to hear.”

He showed you the few things he’s done or been featured in, you immediately saved them for later. Anton mentally told himself to calm down, this is a friendly lunch not some date.

He felt his phone vibrate, seeing a text from his girlfriend.

Gf <3: Finally done! So tired

Anton felt his body go stiff.

“I’m so sorry.” He announced.

You looked over at him.

“Something just came up.”

You nodded, “It’s fine, are you able to drive me home? I can take a cab.”

“No! I can drive you home, I’m sorry.”

You both walked over to his car, getting in before he began driving you back to your apartment.

This was not supposed to happen, this was supposed to be a free day for him. Anton nervously held onto and fidget with the steering wheel.

“I didn’t expect someone to need me today.”

“It’s fine, it’s not like it was in the middle of lunch.”

Anton sighed out.

Arriving at your complex, you get out, thanking him for the lunch.

“I can make it up to you later.”

You laughed, leaning in, “If you wanted another date you could’ve said so.”

Anton felt his cheeks heat, “I-”

“It’s fine, I might hold you to it, though.” You waved him goodbye as you walked into your building.

Anton fell back into his seat. Fuck. Taking his phone out, he texted her back.

Anton: Did you wanna come over? Gf <3: Later, I might nap until then Anton: Sweet dreams <3

Anton felt his head throb, he didn’t even have to end their date? Their not-date!

Starting his car, he began driving home, rolling down the windows in case you had perfume that could linger in his car.

Entering his apartment, he changed back into his sweats and fell onto his bed. He’s a fucking idiot. The rest of his day was spent lazing around, thinking of what excuse he can give you that he needed to leave you during your not-date.

His girlfriend texted him back, something about coming over. He gave her an okay before thinking something work related as an excuse. Yeah, work needed him, a coworker or something.

Hearing a knock on his door, Anton opens it up, seeing his girlfriend walking in.

“I’ve missed you.” He hugged her.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

They sat on his couch together. Their time was spent mostly silent, half cuddling together as some show played on his tv. After watching a few episodes, he ordered some delivery food. He payed and helped serve some for his girlfriend before watching more of their show.

Anton wishes he could say what it was or even about. Thoughts still plagued with a guilty feeling from today. He’d never gone behind someone’s back to go on a date with someone. He didn’t even know that urge could be inside him.

After their episode ended, Anton excused himself to start sleeping.

“Go on ahead, I’ll sleep in a bit.” His girlfriend said.

Even laying in bed, alone, he felt plagued by his actions. Anton wonders if it’s too late to bring it up. Just mention meeting you in passing, omitting the lunch date, even. Finally feeling himself fall asleep, he slipped into a dream with you.

You were in his bedroom, he was finally able to kiss you and hold you. Feeling how soft your lips were against his as he grabbed at your arms and waist. He could feel your hands touch him everywhere. Squeezing his muscles, feeling how toned his abs were, and reaching down to feel how hard he was for you.

“Y/n.” He moaned.

He could feel your lips kiss down his neck and moving down, leaning onto your knees.

Anton jolted away. Feeling his heart beat out of his chest and his pajama pants tight. He turned on his side, seeing if his girlfriend was there. He turned to spoon her, attempting to ground himself and focus on what his priority should be.

She stirred awake, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” He replied, “just a weird dream.”

She turned to face him, hand rubbing his hip.

“I’m sure it was.”

His eyes widened, scared he said your name out loud while sleeping.

“You’ve been so stressed, did you want me to help you out?” She said.

She’s talking about his boner, Anton sighed in relief.

“You don’t have to.”

She moved to straddle his lap, “I could. We haven’t had sex in a minute.”

“I’d like it, but only-”

She leaned down to kiss him. His hands were holding onto her waist as she began grinding against his hard on. His hips bucked upwards, lightly moaning against hers as she pulled their pajama bottoms down, sliding along his length.

“Anton.” She moaned.

Anton felt a pang of guilt, he was silently wishing that it was you moaning his name instead of his girlfriend.

Sliding him inside of her, she stilled before slowly moving up and down his length. Her hands moving down to rub her clit. She leaned down, kissing his lips more as Anton held her hips, helping her bounce on him.

“Anton.”

“I’m gonna cum.” He said.

Anton made sure to bite his lip to make sure he doesn’t say anything on accident.

Panting heavily, she rolls onto the other side of the bed.

“That was really good.” Anton held her, arms wrapped around her front.

“Did you wanna go again?” She asked, reaching down to his dick.

“I’ll do the work this time.”

Anton aligned with her entrance, pushing in before continued to hug her. He was a little glad, not being able to see her made it easier to imagine it was you. He felt guilt, so much guilt. But he’s sure she’s done the same.

His hips bucked into her faster.

“Anton.” She moaned.

“Fuck, you feel so good, baby.” He groaned.

“Right there.”

Anton felt himself cum again, thrusting and staying deep inside her, his dick twitching before slowly softening inside.

“Thank you.” He said, barely pulling out before he fell back asleep.

When the morning came, Anton stayed in bed, cuddling his girlfriend to try and forget how bad of a person he felt. He spent most of his morning in bed: napping, watching videos on his phone, talking with her.

“You’re not usually like this.” She commented.

“Work’s been rough, so I just haven’t been quite myself.” Anton said.

She leaned over, giving Anton a long kiss.

“You’re always so hard on yourself.”

She got up to shower before getting breakfast. Almost on cue, you texted Anton as he heard the water running.

Y/n: Good morning! Y/n: Or good late morning! Anton: Morning! Y/n: Are you okay? After needing that thing yesterday? Anton: Yeah, coworker needed me to help at the office. All fine! Y/n: Workplaces and their incompetence 🙄 Anton: Lol Anton: Did you need anything? Y/n: No! I’m a little busy today :( just wanted to check in on you Anton: Thank you! I’m all good Y/n: That’s good to hear, gtg :( bye! Anton: Bye :(

Anton felt a weight leave him. No chances of bumping into you, not if he can stay home all day. Getting up, he walked to his kitchen, wanting to start cooking breakfast. His girlfriend walked out, drying her hair as he was in the middle of cooking.

“Would you like to eat? Food’s almost done.” Anton smiled at her.

“You’re too good for me.” She walked over, back hugging Anton as he continued cooking.

His week continued as usual, working and coming home, talking and being with his girlfriend, he occasionally worked on music with one of his friends, usually sending them samples to try out. Anton occasionally texted you, seeing what you were up to.

Y/n: Are you going out saturday? Anton: Are you asking me out? Y/n: To that bar! Lol Y/n: That we met at? Anton: I’m sure I’m free, my friends might tag along Y/n: Even better! My friends wanted to go back there, we can have a large hang out Anton: That sounds fun!

Saturday night Anton was picking out his outfit, unsure of what would look better. Oh, he felt like a little boy again. He grabbed at whatever shirt he could find and threw a jacket over it. He has no one to impress.

The walk to the bar was quick, Anton easily spotted his friends as they were standing outside.

“You look dressy.” Sungchan noted.

“No, not more than usual.” Anton replied.

“A touch more than usual.” Eunseok said.

“Is there a reason why you’re so dressed up, with your jacket and nice shirt.” Sungchan smirked.

“No, well,”

“Well?” Eunseok asked.

They walked into the bar, seeing the dim lights and tv screens glowing.

“My friend said they’d be here.”

“Your friend?”

“Yeah we knew each other in high school, found out she lives here.”

“Ooh, your high school friend, she know any embarrassing stories?” Sungchan asked, sitting down as they waited on the rest of their group.

“Hopefully not.” Anton replied.

His mind flashed to your first encounter together. Oh god, it was that party that Andrew threw. Anton drank only two beers before he felt incredibly drunk. He took his phone out to distract himself from how he embarrassed himself in front of you.

After some time, Anton looked up and saw you walk in with a few friends, he waved you over. Eunseok and Sungchan look over at you and your friends.

“Why is your friend hot?” Sungchan asked, leaning in to Anton.

“You don’t know which one is my friend.”

“I can tell.”

“Anton, these are my friends Estelle and Natalie.”

“These are my friends Eunseok and Sungchan, we have more of our friends coming soon.”

“Same as us.” Estelle said.

You grabbed at another table to move by theirs, sitting before they went to the bar to bring drinks.

As Sungchan and Anton went to the bar, he leaned over to Anton and asked if you were single.

“How would I know?” Anton laughed.

“You’d get signs, you’ve brought up your girlfriend.”

Anton stayed silent, feeling his heart beat hard.

“Anton, you’ve brought her up, right?”

“I- I never found a time to mention her.”

“Anton.”

“I’m not gonna cheat on my girlfriend, that’s is my friend. Nothing more.”

“So you’re not gonna be mad if I make a move?”

Anton looked at Sungchan, a little stunned at his words.

“No.” He scoffed.

“Took you a second.”

As the night continued, more friends came to the tables and mingled well. Some of your friends were getting close to his and Sungchan was certainly happy sitting between you and Anton.

“When did you meet Anton?” Sungchan asked.

“High school? A party, I think.” You answered.

“Anton was a party boy? I thought he was too straight for that.” Sungchan lightly slapped Anton’s shoulder.

“I’ve been to a few.” Anton defended himself.

“What was he like?” Sungchan asked.

“Shy.” You smiled.

“Oooh, you’ve always been a shy boy.” Shotaro ruffled Anton’s hair.

“What was a shy boy doing going to parties?” Shotaro asked.

You laughed, “I really don’t know, maybe peer pressured?” You teased.

The more Anton drank, the more relaxed he felt, which may not be what he needs. Lower inhibitions could make him do something stupid. After his drink he tapped out, telling his friend’s he’d be their driver.

As everyone continued drinking and chatting, the bar slowly died down. Being the last group, you all realized it was probably past closing. You helped your friends into your car, being their designated driver, as the boys stayed a bit after.

You said your goodbyes before leaving to drop your friends at their houses, Sungchan stuck around a bit with Anton before they went back to their friends.

“You’re a smart man.”

“Thank you.” Anton replied.

Sungchan held onto his shoulder, “You know what I’m talking about.”

“I’m not doing anything.” Anton laughed.

“Bring your girlfriend up, even if it’s abrupt or something. Don’t be that guy.”

Anton went silent, “Yeah,” He nodded his head, “I will.”

They walked back, both boys helping drive their friends home before going home themselves. Anton laid awake, looking at his ceiling as he felt horrible. Nothing’s happened yet but he can’t help but feel this impending doom. At any minute things could go from fine to falling apart. He really should bring up his relationship

Anton’s week went on as usual, a little too usual. He guessed you were also busy with work as he hadn’t heard from you until Friday. His days spent finishing work and thinking of song lyrics for his friends. Anton found himself more clingy to his girlfriend, taking extra care of her out of his own guilt.

As Anton was on his lunch break, his girlfriend was texting him about her mother. She needed more help with living somewhere while her kitchen was being remodeled.

Gf <3: I can’t see you this weekend :( Anton: Oh? Gf <3: My mom is crashing at my place until her place is done Anton: I can come over, help you out Gf <3: You’re too sweet :,) Gf <3: But you’ve helped me too much, I can spend a weekend without you <3 Anton: Have a girls weekend with your mom? Gf <3: Exactly!

Anton continued on with his work until he was off, stretching before walking to his car. He felt tired and spent, planning on sleeping all weekend. Sitting in his car, he had an idea. A stupid idea, but one nonetheless.

Anton promised to take you on another lunch date, he could easily start distancing himself from you after this. One last obligation before feeling free from you.

Anton: Y/n! Sorry for not texting earlier Anton: Did you wanna go out to eat again? I still owe you Y/n: I totally forgot about that! Y/n: That’d be really nice! Work’s been kicking my ass ;-; Anton: Tomorrow? Maybe dinner this time? Y/n: Totally! Maybe around 8? Anton: Sounds great!

Anton felt his head begin to ache. Beginning to drive home as he thought of how stupid this was, he was creating distance but you even said you forgot about that promise. He could’ve been free his impulses but his impulses made him text you to begin with. He needed a long nap before dealing with this.

Anton was able to sleep most of the night and even past the morning. Waking up he saw dozens of texts from people. Replying to them, he explained how he fell asleep and was exhausted from work. He saw the updates his girlfriend sent to him, showing photos of what her and her mother were doing during their time together.

Anton: I thought a girl’s weekend was supposed to be no boys Anton: Even texting Gf <3: You’re no fun >:( Anton: Lol

Anton took a shower before getting ready for your dinner together. He washed and dried his hair, looked through his closet before picking out a nice outfit before he checked the time. It was around six, he still had time before picking you up.

Anton tried distracting himself but he felt himself grow more anxious as he just sat and waited. Dressing, he sent you a quick text before driving over. Your place was farther than he expected and the traffic wasn’t great during this time.

After being stuck in traffic a few times, he arrived at your place.

Anton: Here Anton: Hope I’m not too early 😅 Y/n: You can come up! Y/n: Floor 1 apartment 234! Anton: Thank you!

Anton parked his car before walking in, he looked around before making his way to the elevator and pressing the button to your floor. He walked around trying to find your apartment before knocking on your door.

Letting him in, Anton looked around your apartment. He looked at your furniture, your wall art, the small books and coasters set on the coffee table.

“You alright?” You asked.

“Yeah, you’re place is really nice.”

“Thank you.”

You grabbed at your bag before asking him, “Where are going?”

Anton froze, “Oh, um,”

“Did you forget to find a place.”

“No.” He lied.

You laughed, “I’ve heard my friends talk about this Italian restaurant on Walnut.”

“My friends have recommended that place, too.” He smiled.

“Let’s go.” You laughed.

He walked you to his car, opening your door for you before driving off to the restaurant. It wasn’t too far, a few streets over but the traffic wasn’t a joke, you’re sure you’ve been sitting in traffic for at least 20 minutes.

“Who knew this place was so busy.” Anton commented.

“Night life here isn’t a joke, huh.” You reply.

As Anton parked at the restaurant, the line wasn’t terrible, a few couples in front of you. You were able to get seated quickly. You liked the ambience, the dim lighting was romantic, the scent wasn’t strong or bad.

You looked over the menu as Anton ordered a wine for you two. Anton asked about your work, you mentioning how you’ve been busy. You both discussed your jobs, deadlines and dealing with coworkers bringing you both to your wits ends.

As the food you ordered came, you were surprised at how well it was. Not acidic or bland, no strong herbs overpowering the dishes, even the wine complimented the dishes well.

As your date came to an end, Anton felt he drank a glass too many.

“Did you want me to drive?” You asked.

“Maybe, we can go back to your place if you want, I can sober up there.”

Wait did he just invite himself to your apartment?

You nodded, helping him into his car as you moved into the driver’s seat. The drive to your place was much better than when you left, traffic dying down by half and made your drive far smoother.

Parking and helping Anton in, he was sobering up well but you wanted him to drink more water when you got inside. Unlocking your door, you took your shoes off, setting your bag down before grabbing some water for him.

You sat on the couch, gazing at Anton as he drank the water, feeling a wave of tension between the two of you. You found him quite attractive but you weren’t sure if this was the right time to try to initiate anything. He might still be a little tipsy and he hadn’t shown any sign of going further.

You were still shocked that this was the same shy guy he used to be, growing to be more muscular and far more confident.

You scooted a bit closer to him, “Are you alright? You look nervous.”

Anton looked at you, his stomach tight with knots, “I’m fine,” He laughed, “I get a little nervous being in new areas like this.”

You nodded your head.

“Maybe,” He cringed at himself, why is he talking?

“I think I’m more nervous around you.” He laughed, trying to ignore his face flushing. He should stop talking, his thoughts are shouting at him to shut up.

“Me? Why?” You scooted closer to him, enjoying this sight of him.

Anton tried his hardest to remain calm and aloof around you. Faking an air of confidence to seem like he grew up and became some cool guy, at least around you.

“You’re just really pretty.”

He fought the urge to scrunch his face.

“I’m pretty?” You leaned closer to him.

His eyes moved away, his chest was taking in deep breaths, trying something to calm his nerves. He shouldn’t be doing this. He should walk out and go to his girlfriend. Maybe even confess the weird affair-that’s-not-an-affair and hope she forgives him. Hope she gives him the silent treatment before slapping him and saying he has two strikes left. Or one strike, one wrong move and she will never be back with him ever again.

“So pretty.” He looked over at you, eyes almost shaking, he knows it’s from guilt but you see it as nervousness.

“You’re just as pretty.” You lean in closer, a few inches from his face.

“You’re just saying that.”

“No.” You say, a touch sternly, “You have such a pretty face.”

You carefully grasp his chin, turning his face to yours.

“Your lips are pretty, your eyes have always been pretty, your cheeks are pretty right now, being all red.” You chuckled.

Anton lightheartedly pulled your hand away, trying to look anywhere but you, it felt like you were moving closer and closer to him. He shouldn’t be here, his guilt is eating at him. He should be at home and not cheating. But he looked over at you and leaned in.

His lips pressed into yours as you held onto his shoulders. God, your lips were so soft, way softer than how he dreamed they would be. His hands moved up, holding the base of your skull against him, groaning into your kiss as you continued.

Maybe if he help you as close as possible he wouldn’t feel as guilty.

His lips parted, licking across yours and Anton swore he was in heaven. Your tongue was soft and glided across his so well. He could hear your soft moans as he continued kissing you, he felt you pull him closer, shifting to be on top of you.

He laid you against your couch, his hands petting your hair, thumb rubbing against your cheek before moving down. Feeling the curve of your shoulder and the softness of your arms, his hand carefully moved inward, feeling at your breast as Anton’s pants began to feel tight.

He pulled away, his head falling into your shoulder.

“Anton.” You sigh.

“You know, if I were different we could’ve done this a long time ago.”

“We can do this now.” You said in a low voice.

“Can we?” He asked. Does he have the strength to cheat? Can he be a cheater for you?

“We can.” You looked up at him, “My bedroom’s not far.”

Anton kissed you again, pulling you up to be flush against him. You moved to sit up, arms thrown around his shoulders, feeling his tight muscles as he pulled the two of you up. You began guiding him to your room, bumping into your walls and doorknobs before making it to your bed.

You sat down, looking up at Anton as he began crawling on top of you. He felt his moral leave his body as he continued kissing you, hands moving down to remove your clothing. You undo his shirt, hands trailing down his front to feel his muscles before hovering above his belt.

“You’re driving me crazy.” He groans.

“Sorry.” You smiled.

He moved down, kissing and marking along your neck and shoulder as he kissed your breasts. Unclasping your bra, he pushed them against his face, kissing and sucking along your flesh. Moving further down, he pulled your bottoms off, showing off a bit of his strength to see how you’d react. Seeing your thighs tremble lightly made him grow confident.

He slowly pushed your thighs open, reveling in the wet patch along your panties. Moving his fingers up, he teased at your core.

“So wet.”

Your hips bucked upwards.

“All for me?”

“All for you.” You gasped, feeling too sensitive to be teased.

He pulled your panties down, seeing some of your arousal cling to your panties and stretch thin until it broke. His right hand cupped your vulva, middle finger pushing in and feeling how wet you were.

“Anton.” You gasped.

He leaned closer to you, “You’re so wet for me.”

You looked away, feeling so embarrassed to see his smile.

“Look at me.” He moved his your chin towards him like you did to him earlier.

“Have you thought about this? Me fucking you?”

You nodded your head, keeping eye contact.

“How long?”

“A bit after we met. At the bar.”

He leaned in, pressing a hard kiss to your lips. His hips moved in, too, pressing his pants against your bare pussy, making you gasp and hold onto him.

“I thought about this, too, just like you, right after we met.”

Your hips began circling against his before you felt his large hands hold you still.

“I’m not gonna deny you anything, there’s nothing you have to be desperate for.” He kissed your neck, right where it dipped into your jaw.

“Ah.” You moaned.

Anton undid his pants and underwear, pressing his hard on against your thigh.

“Do you have any condoms?”

“Yeah, nightstand.”

He leaned over, opening your drawers before taking out a condom and sliding it on.

Anton pulled you down, fingers pressing into your hip bones as he laid his dick onto your stomach.

“Fuck, you’re huge.” You say, head craned upwards to see him.

He smiled, pulling away to align at your entrance. He swirled his fingers around your pussy, making you as wet as possible before sliding his head in. Your walls began fluttering around him.

“Calm down, you can take it.” He said, feeling your stomach relax.

Anton pushed further, almost half way before stopping to let you adjust. Looking up, you were a mess, your legs folding in, your breathing was ragged, your face was tense, too.

Moving to hover over you, Anton slid all the way in. You held onto his arms, gasping for breath as he stayed still, he doesn’t know how he did with the way your pussy was clenching around him.

“It’s alright, it’ll only take a minute.” He kissed your cheek.

After some time, you gave told him he could move. Your hand traveled down to rub your clit as he slid out, pushing back in you felt your legs shake. Every inch into you felt like too much, an outrageous amount of pleasure filling your core as Anton carefully sped up.

“Keep going.” You gasped out.

“I’m not stopping anytime soon.” He leaned down and kissed you, staying there as his hips moved on their own.

You continued moaning against his lips, fingers gliding around the build up of arousal on your clit as Anton continued. His rhythm was steady, he knew he was bigger than average and wanted to ease into anything rough.

“God you feel so good around me.”

Your walls clenched as he said that.

Anton couldn’t help but think about how his girlfriend didn’t feel like this. Fuck. He laid his head into your shoulder, nipping at the skin to try and forget about her. He’s fucking you right now, there’s no need to think of the really nice girl he’s been dating for a year.

He sped up, hips beginning to pound into yours, he slid almost entirely out before thrusting back into you.

“Anton.” You moaned.

“Feels good?”

“Keeping going.” You nodded.

He held onto your legs, hooking his hands behind your knees and pushing them towards your shoulders.

“Anton, yes!” You moaned, feeling so overcome with pleasure.

He’s never like this with his girlfriend. He’s always so slow and gentle, he never got rough with her. But you’re not her.

He continued pounding into you, engrossed with the sight of your fingers circling your clit, the sound of your moans, the expressions you have when he pleasures you. Before Anton could tell, he’s cumming into the condom.

He pulls you against him, your fingers grinding heavily against your clit as he gives you a few more thrusts before stilling. He felt your walls clench around him, holding him in place before fluttering still.

You pull him onto you, feeling his weight push you into the mattress.

“You’re so good.”

He laughed, the vibrations echoing onto you, “I am?”

“I’ve never had an orgasm like that before.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“So,” Anton couldn’t finish his thought, scared by what the rest of his sentence could be.

“So I’m gonna hold onto you for a while.” You laughed.

You felt him slowly pull out of you, hearing him laugh as he threw out the condom before relaxing into your bed.

He’s fucked.

taglist: @yoursyuno

[luvfy0dor]

“His Hands are in my Hair, His Clothes are in my Room ♡⁠˖” BSD x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Osamu Dazai, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol

Warnings; Nikolais and Chuuyas are hardly proofread, Nikolais was rushed, Nikolais nearly got scrapped, I don't like Nikolais, maybe a little ooc

Description; sharing clothing w the BSD boys

A/n; GUYS OH MY GOD I GOT A 5 ON MY FIRST AP EXAM IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF AHHHHHH IM GONNA CRY also I'm sorry posts are so few and far between. It's so hot and hard to function. I know I said the exact same thing to excuse minimal posts in winter but like. its literally hot as balls and all I got is a puny ass 8yro fan and the occasional sip of iced water.

Osamu Dazai ★

• Dazai likes to take your old T-shirts to sleep in when you lend them to him for the night. After a few nights of having Dazai at your house, you wonder why your sleep-shirt collection has nearly cut in half.

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You unlocked the door of your apartment and pushed it open with your unoccupied hand. The other arm held a large brown paper bag filled with gas station food and snacks for you and your boyfriend, who followed you inside. Once you set the bag down on the coffee table, you retrieved your keys from the door and closed it. When you came back to the kitchen, Dazai had already dumped everything out and was sifting through all the options. "The walk back from the gas station was hardly five minutes and I've already forgotten everything we got." He says with a grin, opening a bag of chips and eating a couple. He offered you some, holding the bag out to you. "Want some?' He mumbled.

"Yeah, let me just change into pajamas first, I don't wanna do anything until I'm comfortable." You said, shrugging off your jacket and starting to undo your belt before you even make it back to your room. Dazai followed suit, bag of chips still in hand. "Can I borrow some?" You nodded before taking off your shirt and tossing it in the laundry hamper, going through your closet to find a shirt for your boyfriend and yourself. "Thank youuu~" He plops down onto your bed, keeping the chip bag upwards so he doesn't get any crumbs or dust on your nice blankets. He watches you pull one of your band shirts over your head, admiring your body from his position on your mattress. He's snapped out of his daze when black fabric comes flying at him, but he catches it before it can smack him in the face. "Thanks, babe, you're so kind."

He switches his work clothes for your old ones, the big shirt nearly swallowing his scrawny torso comfortably. "Alright, I want snacks, come on." You gesture for him to follow you back out to the kitchen where the array of snacks was waiting for the two of you on the counter. There were numerous kinds of chocolate, and Dazai had grabbed a couple bags of gummies for himself. There were a few more bags of chips for variety, and you scooped everything up in your arms to bring to the living room. You dropped them all on the coffee table and grabbed the remote. "Alright, what movie are we feeling?" You ask, turning to the brunette man. "Uhhhhh, how about an action movie. Somethin' that looks exciting." He says, slinging his arm over your shoulder while he munches on sour gummy worms. Eventually, the two of you decide on a Godzilla movie, slumped against the couch with chocolate residue on the tips of your fingers from your candies. Dazai let out a long sigh as the movie came to a close, leaning into you and resting his head on your shoulder.

You ran your fingers through Dazais messy and slightly greasy hair, scratching his scalp and listening to his pleased, quiet hum. "Are you falling asleep or are you up for another movie?" You ask him, watching the credits roll on the TV. "I'm up for another movie, I just think I might be having a sugar crash." He says, groaning as he sits back up. You nod and grab the remote again, browsing through all the film options. Every now and again, your eyes involuntarily flickered over to your boyfriend, and you couldnt help but smile. He looked really cute in your shirt, and it almost made you wanna treat the movie like chopped liver and cuddle up to him.

"You look really cute." You say, playing whatever movie you absent-mindedly started in your daze. "Oh, I know, right?" He grins running his hand over his body. "As a matter of fact, I've never felt sexier." He teases, moving his eyebrows up and down with a smirk. You can't help but laugh at him. "Let's get you on a playboy cover." Before you know it, he's standing up in front of the TV. "Scrap the movie, you have me for entertainment instead." He puts his hands on his hips and strikes a pose, making you laugh some more. "You want some attention? I mean, I guess since you asked so politely." You stand up with an eye roll and pull him in, kissing him and running a hand down his side. He keeps one hand on your chin, tilting your head to meet his lips, sighing quietly each time your lips part for a quick moment. Soon, you both need more air then small gasps and have to pull away. He smiles and messes with the fabric of your own shirt. "How about we ditch this mess for now and go to bed, yeah? We can continue comfortably there?" He offers, You glance back over at the piles of snacks, opened or not, scattered acrossed the floor. Normally you'd make him help you clean up before doing anything else, but tonight you really couldn't be bothered and just wanted to follow Dazai wherever he'd take you. "Alright, let's go."

Chuuya Nakahara ★

• Everyone knows that Chuuya adores his hat, but not everyone knows he's got a decently sized collection of fancy hats on top of his closet. One day while rummaging around and trying to find one of Chuuyas button downs for him, you notice them all on the top rack.

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"Chuuya, you didn't tell me you had so many hats!" You called out to him, standing back and staring at them all. Chuuya was currently in the bathroom, shaving his peach fuzz to keep his smooth face. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I've got a ton." He calls back, washing the shaving cream off of his skin. "They're pretty..can I try some of 'em on?" You ask, reaching to grab the one on the top of the stack. "Go ahead." He walks out of the bathroom with his towel around his waist, leaning against the doorframe to watch the little fashion show you were about to put on. The first one you grabbed was adorned with flowers of various colors. You placed it on your head and turned around, posing with your hands on your hips.

"What do you think? Vogue worthy?" You ask him. He smiles at you and nods, his arms crossed over his chest. "One hundred percent, that's peak fashion." He says genuinely, standing up straight and walking over to the closet. He reaches up and grabs another hat for you to try, switching it out for the flowers one. This one is a dark, reddish brown color. "This one's cute too." You giggle and head over to the bathroom to see for yourself. "Ooo, I'm not sure this kinda hat is necessarily for me." You giggle. "What do you mean? It looks great on you!" He says, following you in and hugging you from behind. "You only say that because they're your hats." You say, grinning.

"I mean, I guess not everyone is destined to look good in them like me." He says, squeezing your hip. "I gotta actually get ready for work now, I'm probably runnin' late." He says, turning around and dropping his towel. He tossed it into the hamper before getting dressed in his usual attire, spotting the button down that you had forgotten about in favor of his hat collection. "Okayyyy." You yawn, stretching your arms over your head and treading through the bedroom to start your own morning routine. You didn't have to leave for another hour, but Chuuya had to get to work within the next 30 minutes. After brushing your teeth, you notice Chuuya searching the bedroom for his usual hat.

"The nightstand." You point out to him. He sees it and lets out a sigh of relief, grabbing it and plopping it on his head. "Thanks, doll. I gotta get going' now, but I'll see ya tonight, okay?" He says, pulling you in by your waist for his daily goodbye kiss. "Yeah, got it." You smile before kissing him sweetly for a quick moment before he backs away. "Alright, I love you, see ya later." He playfully smacks your ass before letting go of you and heading out to the door. "Bye Chuuya, I love you, I'll see you later!" Once you heard him leave, you smiled to yourself and headed right back to the closet. You didn't necessarily have to get dressed just yet, so that gave you some time to try on a couple more hats on your own.

Fyodor Dostoevsky ★

• Fyodor doesn't mind letting you borrow his cape if you seem cold, or he'll simply wrap it around you and pull you into his side. He prefers the latter, considering it doesn't take much for him to get chilly.

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Fyodor held your gloved hand in his as you both walked down the snowy streets of Yokohama. It was the winter solstice and you both decided to take a walk down one of the most popular roads and do some window shopping. By the end of the evening, the hand that wasn't occupied with holding Fyodors held a warm cup of hot chocolate that you sipped on periodically. "Have you enjoyed yourself tonight, Myshka?" He asks you, adjusting his ushanka and gazing up at the sky, noticing some snow start to fall. "I did. Thanks for coming with me, I know you have a lot of stuff to do." You respond, bringing the cup to your lips for another sip. He waves his hand dismissively. "That doesn't mean I can't accompany you." His thumb rubs over your knuckles as snow starts landing on his hat and your head, the street lamps illuminating the darkness with a tangerine-colored glow. You nod at his words, leaning into his shoulder and shivering.

"It's so cold, Fedya." You say, your head on his shoulder and your hand squeezing his tightly. He lets go in order to put his arm around your waist, pulling his long cape over your shoulder. "I know, the walk home isn't much further, don't worry." You smile and hold onto the old, worn material to keep it in place. "You're right, thanks." You say, feeling butterflies in your stomach. It never mattered how long you and Fyodor had been together, every affectionate action made you feel like you had just got together. He held you close with his cape still shielding you from the cold and adding a layer of warmth to your jacket. He would peer over at you every now and again, laughing under his breath at all the snow that was getting into your hair. "What's so funny?" You ask him, a smile spread acrossed your face. "You've got a whole bunch of snow on your head." He tells you. "It looks like dandruff."

You roll your eyes and yank the ushanka off of his head, placing it on yours instead. "There, now you won't have to look at it." You hold the fluffy hat on top of your head and try to prevent him from taking it back when he tugs on it. "No, you can get your own, my ears are cold." He says with a smile, eventually pulling it back into his own possession and patting it off. "I will say though, you look better in my hat than Dazai did." You give a proud smirk and rest your head on his shoulder. "I'd hope you'd think so." Your street comes into view and you pull him along as you speed up, wanting to get into the warm, cozy house as soon as possible. "I know running isn't exactly your thing but pick up the pace a little, I wanna get under the covers and cuddle." You tell him, getting closer to home with each passing second.

He picks up speed for you and listens to the sound of your feet hitting the pavement. It's not long before you've pulled him all the way home and you're unlocking the door, nearly spilling inside to get into the warm living room. Fyodor follows suit, unlacing his shoes and hanging up his cape and ushanka. You wait for him in the open doorway that connects the living room and the hallway, ready to curl up in bed away from the harsh cold. "Alright, I'm coming." He says, treading through the hall with you and opening the bedroom door. His hand rested on your lower back as you both walked to the comfortable mattress, crawling under the covers and pulling each other close. "Your cape is really warm and comfortable. You should wrap me in it more often." You say, scooching closer to him and letting his arm drape over your waist.

"Hmm, I guess that wouldn't hurt. You really like it?" He peers down at you, his head propped up on his fist. "Yeah, I might have to steal it, actually." You say seriously, making him click his tongue. "You're welcome to steal it if I'm not wearing it." He says, chewing on the inside of his cheek habitually. "Then expect it to be off the hanger more often then not." He smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead, laying his head down on the pillow. "Okay, that's fine, but right now you have me and the blanket to keep you warm." He murmurs, closing his eyes. "Well you're not contributing to that as much as the blanket, but whatever you say." You kiss his cheek and brush his bangs out of his face. "G'night Fedya, I love you." You say, resting your head on his chest, ready for sleep. "I love you too, y/n, sleep well."

Nikolai Gogol ★

• You always loved Nikolais outfit and couldn't help but wanna put it in one day. You were sure he wouldn't mind, after all, sharing attire was nothing foreign to your relationship.

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It started with you trying on his blouse for fun, but then you decided the blouse wasn't complete without the vest, pants, gloves, collar, shoes, or hat. Everything fit you a little differently than it fit Nikolai, but it didn't matter, because when you walked over to the nearest reflective surface, you found yourself cute, and you almost couldn't wait for Nikolai to get out of the shower to show him. You just needed one more thing, his cape. You ran out to the coat rack by the door and swung it behind you and then over your shoulders excitedly, grabbing it by the edges and moving it around. You felt really fancy with his cape, swaying your body just to feel the fabric move with you. As a matter of fact, you were so caught up in how good the cape made you feel that you didn't even realize the bathroom door open.

"Oh, wow, dove! My outfit looks so good on you! I've never noticed how much the red gloves pop until now." You turned around so fast, as if you were sitting in silence and all of a sudden a full file cabinet tipped over and crashed onto a linoleum floor. "Wah-! When'd you get out? I mean, thank you, but you scared me!" You say with a nervous laugh. "I thought it looked cute." You murmur, starting to pull off the gloves, but he stops you. "Hey, wait, you should stay in it for a moment, I'm not done admiring you yet!" He tells you, walking over and grabbing your hands gently. He leans in to kiss you, his smile palpable on his lips. You hand falls on his shoulder, rubbing it up and down affectionately before pulling away. "You really like it that much, huh?"

He nods. "Ofcourse! Oh, I'd love to show everyone how wonderful you look. Would you let me?" He asks, squeezing your hands tightly. "Sure, Kolya, go ahead." He quickly skitters off to fetch his cellphone, returning with the camera app already open. "Pose." He says, watching you place your hands on your waist and cock your hip a little bit. "Ah, gorgeous." He says, spamming the capture button. "Okay, I think that's enough." He says, his cheeks a bit pinker than before. He tossed his phone onto one of the side tables and embraced you once again, resting his head on top of yours. "Come on, y/n, I'd like to see you in my whole wardrobe now!" He says excitedly, pulling you along back to the bedroom. You don't necessarily know what you ignited in him, but it was certainly something, and now you were preparing yourself for a god-knows-how-long fashion show for your boyfriend. Not that you really minded, ofcourse.

A/n; another post that was supposed to have sigma and then didn't have sigma because I wanted to watch Jersey shore instead of write. ALSO I WENT TO THE DENTIST YESTERDAY terrible experience I cried but don't tell anyone I said that

[mellowyellowdaydream]

Study Break

A/N: here’s a quick little thang 😉 not proofread cause I don’t have the time lol but hope y’all enjoy! I’ve been busy moving with my little fam up into the mountain!

Word count: just over 3k

Rating: mature audiences only because of mature themes! 18+!!!!

Warnings: smut(obviously), readers in control, so sub!dean?????, p in v, sorry if I missed anything

Summary: Y/N Singer helps Dean take his studying more seriously, hopefully

It was a humid summer day in Sioux Falls, almost all the windows were open to help pull in the breeze from outside. Minimal clothing was worn because well it was too hot and humid.

Bobby was out on a one of his rare cases, probably helping Rufus is a state not too far from here. Never being too far from home base.

Sam was sprawled out on the couch,his long legs dangling off the couch because of his size, with a book covering his eyes. Snores spilling from his mouth. He must have been up all night going through lore books. Y/N thought looking at the Sasquatch of a man.

Y/N and Dean were seated side by side at the big desk in the room. Surprisingly Dean was stripped down to just a plain black tshirt and his jeans. Y/N was in a pair of black torn up short shorts and fishnets, as well as a black cami top with the little lace edging and small rose in the center of the hem by her breasts. Y/N was always surprised that Dean was still somehow cool enough in a thick pair of denim. But then again it would be really weird to see him in shorts.

Dean was flipping through the book in front of him. Starting to get huffy because unlike Sam or Y/N he didn’t like to fill his free time with lore or research. He huffed one more time and then slammed the book shut. Resting his face into his palms, them rubbing soothingly over his eyes.

“What’s wrong Dean?” Y/N asked, her eyes not leaving her book, every once in a while scribbling something into her notebook.

“This is boring. Can’t we go out to the shop, I’m sure you could use some help on your truck.” Dean offered hoping they could sneak away.

“Dean, my garage would be an oven right now, maybe later once it’s cooled off.” Y/N answered, still flipping and scribbling away.

“Fine.” Dean said leaning back in his chair, taking a look at Y/N.

Mhhhmmmm that shirt does wonders for her, and those shorts-fuck. Don’t even get my started on her tights-what I would give to just rip through em here an- no Dean no dirty thoughts. Dean said admiring her but then stopping himself because he didn’t want to cross an unvoiced boundary of his.

Don’t fuck Y/N under her fathers roof. Because for some reason it felt like Bobby would find out and then once again it would be Dean’s ass.

“Why are you staring at me?” Y/N asked, feeling the weight of Dean's gaze.

“I’m not staring, I’m admiring sweetheart. There's a difference.” Dean said trying to justify his actions, adjusting himself in his chair.

“Ok Dean, sure.” Y/N said, pushing hair back and off her face. The little stray hairs sticking to her forehead.

“Why don’t we try something? Hmm, you trust me?” Y/N offered to Dean, finally looking up at him. Meeting his playful gaze.

“What do you have in mind?” Dean teased.

“Get a room!” Was grumbled from the book over Sam’s face.

“With pleasure!” Y/N said, getting up and stretching her body. The small pops and cracks making her release a small moan.

Which didn’t go unnoticed by Dean, him squirming in his seat. Y/N grabbed her notebook and started to exit the library area of the house, stopping in the doorway waiting for Dean to follow. She simply turned to look at him and just raised an eyebrow.

And when he realized she wanted him to follow her, he scrambled to get up, his chair doing an awkward scrap against the floor in his rush to stand. He met her at the doorway while she led him up the staircase, it shifting under their weight as they ascended.

Her room was at the top of the stairs and to the right. Posters of her favorite bands were taped to the door(think Siouxsie Sioux, Duran Duran, Korn, Slipknot), with the obvious angsty ‘keep out’ sign. She kicked open the door for them, and waited to close it after Dean. Flipping on the ceiling fan to help circulate the air, opening the one window that was by her door. A small breeze hitting her in her face.

He obviously made a beeline for her bed because it was not only inviting but it was like heaven on earth with how comfortable it was and that it smelt like Y/N. Which was dried roses, tobacco and something musky. He loved it, and wanted to just choke on the smell if it meant he would die happy.

Dean flopped down into the fluffy comforter face first so he could nuzzle to the pillows and blankets. He was too distracted to notice Y/N walk over to her small stereo in the corner to pop in one of her many cassette tapes. The soft melody of Dark side of the Moon by Pink Floyd filled the room as she crept over to her bed. Tripping on a pair of her forgotten platforms making her stumble and hit her toe on the bed frame.

“Son of a bitch!” Y/N said hobbling over to her bedside, sitting down to run her exposed toe.

“You ok?” Dean mumbled from the pillows.

“I’m fine, it doesn’t need to be amputated.” Y/N joked, climbing on the bed. She walked on her knees until she was straddling his waist from behind. Her journal still in her hand, that was now resting on his back.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked, wanting to flip over to look up at her.

“Well you need to learn more about what’s out there so I thought I could help you.” Y/N said matter of factually, poking her finger into his back muscle.

“And how are you gonna do that?” Dean asked, shifting under her slightly.

“I have my ways, now what do you want to learn about? I think Sirens would be interesting.” Y/N said starting to flip through her journal until she found the page she wanted.

“Fine, can I at least turn over?” Dean sighed, pushing up slightly. Y/N slipped off and let him turn over.

Once he was laying one his back Y/N swung her leg back over his waist, noticing a slight bulge starting to make its presence known. Deans hands found her thighs to rest on, his fingers picking slightly at her tights and loose strings from her jeans edge. She rested her hands back on his chest with her open journal.

“Alright sweetheart. How are you gonna help me remember Sirens?” Dean asked, his eyes drawing lines up and down her body. Admiring the position they were in. His hips making a quick roll to get closer and more comfortable under her

“Well it’s a surprise, but first I gotta do something.” Y/N said, a little smirk gracing her face. She gave her hips a testing roll, raising her eyebrow at Dean.

He just looked at her in awe-because no matter how hot or humid it was here he wanted to be closer to her. He wanted their skin to stick together, all sweaty. She looked like a work of art from his point of view. Her hair somewhat messy and thrown up on her head, random pieces of hair sticking out and falling from her bun. She had no makeup on, not wanting to fuss with the extra layer in this heat. But there were remnants of some black rubbed around her eyes making them pop from her paled skin.

Dean traced his hand from her thigh up her side, tickling slightly as a small smile graced her face. His hand didn’t stop when his finger felt all of her necklaces, different charms and gems dangling from different length chains. He finally stopped when his fingers started to brush her jaw and face.

She just smiled and rolled her hips again, looking deeply into his eyes and she bit her lip. “Little” Dean making himself very well know-even though he was anything but little.

“I think we have too many layers on for what I want to accomplish here.” Y/N said starting to unbutton her shorts hoping Dean would get the hint.

He caught on quite quick and reached for his own jeans, Y/N climbed off so she could wiggle the shorts down her body. Dean wiggled his jeans and boxers off while he laid down, very eager for what was gonna happen. Kicking them somewhere into her room. His member flopped onto his upper thigh, resting in all its thick veiny glory.

Y/N reached to take her tights off next but stopped when Dean's hand grabbed hers.

“What?” Y/N asked very confused.

Dean just smirked and grabbed her hand to bring her back on to his lap. She settled over him, her core brushing against his sensitive member as she straddled him again. She found her journal in the bed covers before proceeding. His hands finding her hips to pull her closer to him.

He noticed how her panties somehow matched the lace and little rose of her tank top. His fingers tracing along the pattern of the fishnets up to her panties, his finger coming up to the edges on her panties. While she was distracted he took his pointer and middle fingers on both hands to pull the tights apart, causing them to rip open at her crotch.

“Hey! I liked these!” Y/N exclaimed, slapping one hand onto his chest playfully.

“Well you can wear it as a shirt then. I know you alternative people love making shit your own way.” Dean said, his fingers starting to stroke at her pussy through the soft fabric of her panties, feeling a small wet spot forming.

“Fine, now before we get started. Are you ok with me being in charge? I remember you wanting to try it out sometime.” Y/N asked, starting to fidget with her journal that was still splayed out on dean's chest.

“Say less sweetheart.” Dean confirmed, letting his arms fall back to around his head.

Y/N just smiled at him brightly, reaching down between them finding her panties. She slid them to the side and stood up on her knees to readjust. She grabbed Dean's cock and sank down on him.

They both gasped, he was buried to the hilt, pelvises resting together. Y/N just took a deep breath to steady herself and picked up her journal. Ignoring the look on dean's face, him being utterly confused as to what they were actually about to do.

“Now sirens are tricky creatures. They usually never leave Greece. So if you encounter one it’s pretty rare. What’s hard is that they can read you mind and take a form that would appeal to you.” Y/N said, giving a small roll of her hips.

“What do you think Dean?” She added, making sure he paid attention to the lesson.

“Yeah, super rare.” Dean said, struggling to ignore the way her tight, warm pussy around his cock.

“Dean. Pay attention or I’m getting myself off and gonna make you suffer.” Y/N said, stopping her hip rolls and adjusting herself on top of him.

Dean just shut his mouth and nodded. He made his hands grasp the headboard above him, trying to ground himself.

“Good boy. Now while yes a siren could come to you as something you are attracted to it can also come to you as someone you care about. Whatever it can do to trick you into doing its bidding.” Y/N continued, started to roll her hips again. Dean gasped because he loved the praise and when she adjusted them, it created a new and deeper angle.

“Repeat Dean.” Y/N said, trying to get him to focus on what they were trying to learn.

“They can be an attractive person or resemble someone you know. They want to use you.” Dean said between gasps because while Y/N stopped reading out loud she didn’t stop the tortuous drag and fall of her hips against his thus creating a fire to form in both their bellies.

“Good, now once they have targeted you they are gonna do anything to get you in contact with their spit. It holds a venom that will make you so devoted you forget yourself as a person and just want to do what they want you to do.” Y/N kept reading, and riding Dean.

Her hips nor knees getting tired whatsoever because the fire in her belly was spurring her on. The power she held over Dean made her feel magical. A gasp left her lips at the thought of holding the power of orgasm over Dean and him just letting her do it adding to her fire.

“So don’t share drinks with strangers? Or kiss strangers?” Dean said, his grip tightening on the headboard.

“Correct, now there is one true way to kill a siren. And that’s to take a bronze dagger dipped in their affected victims blood.” Y/N finished with the page, flipping it to the next.

“Got it, bronze dagger, active victims blood. What else?” Dean said, getting impatient that he couldn’t just grab her hips and fuck up into her to bring them both to ecstasy. He could tell it was taking both of them a lot of strength to not do just that.

“Well that’s more modern lore. The older lore is that of legends from lost ships.” Y/N gasped, rolling her hips until he hit that spongey spot inside her. Them both gasping at the electric contact.

“Can I fuck you yet?” Dean asked very obviously impatient. “I’ve been a good boy so to speak.” He added hoping that would make her say yes.

“No I want you to repeat it all back to me first then you can fuck me.” Y/N said matter of factly.

“Fine. Sirenscanappearasanattraxtivepersonorsomeoneclosetoyoutogetclosetoyou. Youwannaavoidtheirspitorelsetheycontrolyou. Inordertokillthemyouneedabronzedaggerdippedintheafflictedsblood. Now can I fuck you?” Dean spit out so fast it took a second for Y/N to register the words flying out of his mouth. His hips bucking up into her, hitting her g-spot again. Making her gasp and stop herself, throwing her journal off the bed. Putting her hands on his chest to steady herself.

“Ok Dean, go ahead.” Y/N said, relinquishing her control of this whole situation to him.

Dean didn’t waste any time, his hands released the headboard and quickly grabbed her hips. He planted his feet and started to piston his hips up into her pussy. Them both way too worked up from all the teasing she’s been doing while he “learned”.

Y/N leaned down to bring her face into the crook of his neck, her hands wandering over anything she could reach-his face, hair, or chest. Her gasps muffled into his neck and shoulder. Her pussy squelching with each thrust because she got incredibly turned on having him at her will.

“Fuck sweetheart. I think we need to do these types of lessons more often.” Dean said panting between thrusts. He worked his hand between the two of them and helped move her panties aside so he could find her clit.

His thumb started to circle the sensitive piece of soft flesh. Making Y/N moan into his neck, she started to kiss where she could wanting to show her appreciation for the attention to her clit. Dean continued to circle, changing speed and how he circled her clit. Knowing if he didn’t change it up she would become too oversensitive.

His face found her neck as well and whispered sweet nothings to her. -Such a good girl, and fuck I love how you keep squeezing me! She would just gasp and clench, a flood of arousal adding to the mess they were making.

Deans hips started to stutter, not being able to hold back much longer. He quickened his pace of thrusts as well as the strokes of his thumb, wanting to bring you to orgasmic relief first. He hit a spot deep inside her, and circled her clit just right to do so, making her gasp and choke a moan out. Y/N pressed her face further into his neck, her hands finding purchase in deans hair.

Dean gave a few shallow thrusts, chasing his high. He let out a deep groan and spilled his hot cum deep into Y/Ns fluttering pussy, the wetness almost pushing Dean out completely.

“Fuck. Definitely how we’ll learn from now on.” Y/N said, panting into his neck. Her hands cradling his face, leaving small kisses on the skin she could reach.

“Definitely.” Was all Dean could say, completely blissed out.

“Bobby’ll be home in an hour you two!” Sam called out from downstairs. The reality setting back in.

“Oh fuck he’s gonna kill me.” Dean said pulling out and trying to scramble off the bed.

“What? Sam?” Y/N asked, resting back against her headboard, her face completely blissed out and flushed.

“No your dad. He’s gonna beat my ass and then mount it in the den.” Dean said scrambling around half naked. Y/N just pointed to the opposite side of where he was looking to show him where his pants landed.

He scurried over and quickly shimmied them back on.

“Now would love nothing more than to hangout casually in here but I just feel like he knows I desecrated his own daughter in his home. So I’ll be right back.” Dean said quickly exiting the room.

He came back shortly with a towel to wipe Y/N’s pussy clean. She simply hissed at the coarse texture to her soft folds. Dean tossed the towel into her laundry hamper and gave her a quick kiss on the lips and hurried out of the room.

He peaked his head in quickly, “I'm gonna shower, you should probably change.” Was all he said before making his final exit to down stairs.

Y/N just smiled, blissful with how things were turning out.

[prdx-invdr]

୨୧⸝⸝ : and i promise, this time i won’t be late.

PAIRING! idol!wonbin x fem!reader GENRE! fluff, angst (quite a bit this time i think) WARNING! just wonbin tryna be a good bf alsooo not proofread WC 2.5k

NOTE! smth shorter to make up for the fact that i haven't written anything in ages, sorry for disappearing off the face of the earth it will happen again

wonbin finds himself praying that you're still awake right now. he looks down at his phone for the thousandth time, wincing every time the minute changes.

it is currently 1:06 in the morning. running an anxious hand through his hair, he continues to glare at the time being displayed as though it would go back a few hours if he stared hard enough. he thinks about sending you a message to verify whether or not you're still up, but decides against it with a shake of his head. he already feels terrible, and he thinks that if you happen to be asleep right now and wake up to his sorry, pathetic message the next day, it'd only make him feel worse.

lost in thought, wonbin doesn’t even feel the arm that wraps around his stiff shoulders until the person touching him decides to speak. “you’re coming with us, right?” sungchan asks, causing wonbin to look up for the first time in what feels like hours.

all the boy can utter is a “what?”, meeting the eyes of his taller group mate. “the corner store down the road is still open,” sungchan explains, “we’ve been talking about stopping there since practice ended. were you not listening?”

wonbin takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair once more. he hadn’t been listening, of course, because the moment practice ended the only thing on his mind was getting back home to you. it wasn’t a rare occurrence, but practice only seemed to drag longer than normal today, and while wonbin knows that you’ve always been understanding of the fact that he comes home late, he can’t help but feel apologetic. he tells himself that he owes it to you to come home on time just once, and he’s blown it again.

1:10 in the morning. “sorry,” wonbin breathes, “i can’t go.” he doesn’t say anything more than that, and he doesn’t have to. sungchan drops his arm from the younger boy’s shoulders, instead opting to pat him on the back reassuringly. in the same sense that this isn’t wonbin’s first time coming home late, it also isn’t the first time he’s had to bail on his friends in exchange for arriving at your shared apartment just a bit earlier, even if it doesn’t make much of a difference. despite everything, wonbin is still late, and there’s no changing that.

sungchan nods, “next time, then.” wonbin offers him a nod in return, and the older boy only gives him a smile and a wave before turning around to catch up with everyone else. wonbin is frozen for a moment, watching the silhouettes of his group mates get smaller and smaller before he finally begins the journey back to you.

1:45 in the morning. wonbin holds his breath as he opens the door to your apartment, making very minimal noise. he still prays that you’re awake, but can’t blame you if you aren’t.

he wants to call out to you, the same way he wanted to send you a text earlier, and the same way he wanted to arrive at a reasonable time for once. he keeps his teeth clenched.

it’s 1:50 by the time wonbin stops in front of your shared bedroom. you’re sleeping— he’s sure of it. despite this, he still can’t find it in him to regret making an attempt to come home sooner. he knows that you’d appreciate it if you knew.

he pushes open the door and there you are, a tense look adorning your face as you sleep. he takes note of how you likely weren’t even sure if he would be home on time or not, yet you still stayed to your side of the bed. whether it be due to routine or simply because you were hoping that he’d show up, his heart drops nonetheless.

he quietly walks over to you, pausing when he reaches your side. he had wished for you to be awake up until this moment, but finds it ironic that he currently doesn’t want to wake you. he doesn’t even realize that he’s subconsciously moving hair away from your face until it’s too late, and does nothing to stop himself once he notices.

letting his hand drift down slightly to stroke the side of your face, he releases a shaky sigh. “i’m sorry, my sweet girl,” he whispers, watching with somber eyes as your expression softens as if you’re able to sense his presence in your sleep.

he makes his way over to his side of the bed and he knows that you won’t be affected by the way the mattress dips slightly as he lies down, because he’s done it so many times and you’ve never once woken up from it.

2:01 in the morning. wonbin hates that he can only lie beside you for a few hours before having to leave again, before you even get the chance to open your eyes. it’ll be as if he was never there. it’s completely out of his control, and wonbin knows that, but he hates it. you’d tell him that it’s alright, the same way you’ve done several times, but he hates it. he hates every bit of it.

it’s 11:01 in the morning by the time you wake up, and you don’t need to turn around in order to know that you’re the only person in the room. wonbin had been here, this much you know, and you wish that you had stayed awake longer if it meant being able to see him, even for a moment. you wish that you had woken up abruptly at some point last night if it meant being able to see his sleeping face.

you don’t dwell on the thought for long— you never do, knowing that it’d only make your situation a lot harder to deal with. you feel around your bedside table in search of your phone, not having the strength to get out of bed just yet.

strike one, you think to yourself. on the rare occasion that you wake up and wonbin is by your side, he always lightheartedly scolds you for checking your phone first thing in the morning. he’d disapprove if he saw you right now, but he isn’t here to stop you, so you do it anyway. coincidentally, the only notifications on display are from the boy in question.

[6:23 AM] my bin <3: hiii babe

[6:25 AM] my bin <3: call me when u get the chance!!!!! i’ll be available (i will literally drop everything and pick up)

[6:26 AM] my bin <3: i love u pretty ….. 🤮

your mood lifts just by seeing his name on your screen, a surge of energy coursing through your body. you decide to go about your normal routine, the idea of calling your boyfriend never leaving your mind.

it’s 11:20 by the time you make it downstairs, everything looking the exact same way you left it. wonbin is nothing if not organized; if there’s any disarray in your apartment, it’s all from you. unfortunately, this means that there’s not many traces of your boyfriend left behind, and you often hope for him to forget to hang up his coat or line up his shoes by the door just to prove that he’s there.

you walk into the kitchen and the first thing you take note of is that you still haven’t taken out the trash. strike two, you think.

you made a mental note to take care of it a few days ago and you still have yet to do so. wonbin hasn’t been around enough lately to notice, but you know he’d jokingly give you a roll of his eyes if he saw the way it’s practically overflowing right now before proceeding to take it out himself. he’d do the same with the dishes piled up in the sink, chatting away with you while he took care of everything like it was no problem, and to him, it really wasn’t.

god, you miss him.

you pull out your phone, disregarding everything else as you click on his contact and hold the device up to your ear. it rings only 4 times before you hear wonbin on the other end.

“i was hoping you’d call,” he says, and you faintly hear the voices of his group mates in the background. you almost let out a laugh at his words, just to fill the silence, but it only comes out as a quick exhale. “why wouldn’t i? you told me to. and i would’ve, even if you didn’t tell me to,” you murmur, your words leaving you faster than you wanted them to.

“i just don’t feel like i deserve it, i guess,” he replies. you’re about to ask him to elaborate before he continues. “i stopped by last night. i’m sorry i couldn’t come sooner, i really tried.” you pause at his choice of words, wondering if he even noticed that he said “stopped by” rather than something along the lines of “came home”, as if the two of you don’t live together.

you shake your head, deciding that you’re looking too much into it solely because not being able to see your boyfriend is taking a toll on you. “don’t apologize, bin,” you exhale, “i’ve told you a million times i understand. there’s not really anything you can do about it.”

you know he’s probably shaking his head on the other side of the phone, or running a nervous hand through his hair the way he always does. “i know, just- i’m sorry. i want to see you.” you nod, and he doesn’t see it. “i want to see you, too,” you reply. “should i wait up until 3am today?” your words are meant to be taken as a joke, but wonbin immediately retaliates. “you better not! your beauty sleep comes before anything else.”

you talk with him about anything that comes to mind and it’s as easy as it always is. when he tells you that he has to leave and get back to practicing, the two of you exchange prolonged “goodbye’s” and “i love you’s” before you finally pull the phone away from your ear with a sigh. you think that hearing his voice only made you miss him more.

when you look up from the phone you’re once again greeted with the trash can, as filled to the brim as ever, and you think taking it out would make for a good distraction. not far from it, the dishes are still piled up, and you consider washing them. you don’t, though. strike three.

you spend the rest of the day going through the motions, body moving on autopilot as it does quite often lately, and at the end of it all you look back on everything and think that it had all been normal— aside from the fact that wonbin doesn’t come home.

despite his initial protests, you’re awake until 3:26 in the morning. you’re not sure what time he arrived home last night, but you think that it couldn’t have been later than this.

you had made sure to take a nap at some point during the day just so you could be awake at this moment, to see your lover, talk to him, even if it had only been for a few minutes.

you shoot him a text, praying that the urgency you feel can be expressed through the little amount of words you send. you fall asleep waiting for his response, only to wake up to an empty phone, and an even emptier bed.

if there was barely any traces of wonbin in your shared apartment before, there definitely isn’t now; his lack of presence was evident the day before despite the fact that he had been there for merely a few hours, but after last night?

for a moment, it almost feels as though you live by yourself.

12:03 in the afternoon. swallowing the sudden lump in your throat, you make an attempt to go about your routine as normal. you can already picture the sight you’ll be greeted with downstairs— an overflowing trash can, the accumulating dishes in the sink, only this time, there’s no messages from wonbin asking for you to give him a call or telling you that he loves you.

to your surprise, by the time you manage to trudge downstairs, you aren’t greeted by any of those things.

the trash can that had been previously close to spilling over has been emptied, an empty bag now taking its place. there’s no dishes in the sink, all of them instead sitting in the dish rack waiting to dry. before you’re able to turn around and demand an explanation, you feel arms wrapping around your waist, and you swear that your eyes almost fill up with tears.

“my sweet girl, i missed you,” wonbin utters from behind you, and in an instant, you’re spinning your body around and returning his embrace. he can sense that you’re about to ask him a myriad of questions, and opts to continue talking before you can get a word in. “i’ve only been here for about an hour or so. i’m sorry i couldn’t come home last night, baby.”

you shake your head, about to offer him the same reassurance you always do, when he begins to speak again. “i practiced until super late last night. i wanted to finish learning the choreography as fast as possible—“ you open your mouth to scold him, pulling away from his chest momentarily when he cuts you off for what feels like the thousandth time. “—and before you yell at me, it was for a good reason,” he pouts, waiting for you to press your lips into a tight line before starting to speak again.

“i overexerted myself a bit, i think, but it was all worth it. i’m all yours for the next few days,” he finishes, a hand stroking the back of your head. the two of you stand there for a while. “i love you’s” and “i missed you’s” are exchanged rather than goodbyes, and neither of you are willing to move from your positions, blissfully unaware of the passage of time for once. it’s alright, though— you both have time. a lot of it.

for a moment, wonbin gets the urge to apologize again, whether it be for all the times he’s arrived home late, or for leaving you alone with an overflowing trash can or a sink full of dishes, but it’s almost as if you’re able to read his mind. “don’t feel sorry anymore, bin,” he hears you say, voice muffled against the fabric of his shirt. he only nods, the words dying on his tongue. he decides that he’ll accept your reassurance just this once.

wonbin isn’t sorry, because this time, he isn’t late.

AUTHOR’S NOTE! beabadoobee my wife

[hanrinz]

THE EGOIST NEXT DOOR.

pairing. isagi yoichi x gn! reader ( word count. 1.0k ) genre. boy next door

synopsis. wherein the guy next door often borrows things from you and then he asks for something different.

content. fluff, just isagi your handsome neighbor, loser isagi lol, use of the word 'pretty', word vomit. minimal proofread.

notes: after a month of no post i finally posted smth :') omg i miss writing sm </3 omg first real fic?? lol :x isagi is a loser no one can change my mind.

a knock sounds through the hallway, six in the morning, you were woken up from your slumber.

who could possibly be up at this hour, on a weekend too? other than your grandmother who you think is the only person who can possibly do so, no one else comes to mind.

swinging your feet off the mattress and dragging yourself to the front door. the knocks haven't ceased down and it only adds to your annoyance.

"coming!" a frustrated huff leaves your mouth as you unlock the door.

only to be met with deep blue eyes and a sheepish smile that accompanies his face.

oh.

"isagi?" brows knitted in confusion, your newly moved neighbor isagi yoichi, who's around your age and often passes by your door by night coming home from practice.

if you recall correctly, a month has already gone by since he had occupied the door next to yours. and a month since he has been knocking at your door whenever he needs something.

or moreso in borrowing something from your home.

most of it being ingredients that should never be gone inside a kitchen. the last thing he had borrowed from you, was your sugar that he still hasn't returned.

the last time you checked your apartment wasn't a convenient store, just for him to knock at and get things as he pleases. you might as well charge him for everything he's been borrowing in your home.

"hi, pretty," a hand comes up as a greeting. curse him and his face, isagi yoichi was too pretty to be smiling at you on this god-forbidden morning.

"sorry to bother you this early, but i need to borrow something, again." he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"isagi, this is the seventh time already." you reminded him.

isagi is nice, yes, unfortunately. it can't really be helped for you to be mad at him long, not when he always makes sure to drop by some cookies that you love, with little notes that are sticked on it.

a way of his compensation to the troubles he had caused.

isagi is nice, but this growing routine needs to be put to a stop—for your sanity and to your pocket that is on the verge of crying.

you're sure, soon enough the both of you would really need to run to the grocery for a restock—also the very thing that isagi had been forgetting to do, you wonder how he's even surviving.

his embarrassment only grew, his cheeks deepened to the shades of red and he clears his throat with a response. "i know, sorry."

you lean onto your door frame, sighing as you let him borrow something from you one last time, "fine, but this will be the last time."

his eyes were now brimming as he smiled so brightly, it might as well rival the sun itself.

"really?" disbelief and excitement evident in his voice. "but promise me first, y/n. you won't be mad, okay?"

you look at him with suspicion, one brow raised, eyes squint in question. "isagi.. what is it?"

"you won't be mad though, right?" he asks once more.

"just get on with it, yoichi."

for someone who is shamelessly borrowing a lot of things from their neighbor, isagi is losing all the confidence to ask you one thing right this very moment.

the pep talk he had with bachira the night before didn't even help with the ever growing anxiety that he feels on his chest. it's funny though, if he wasn't in this position he would've laughed at the situation at hand.

isagi is stupid and an idiot—what rin would've said to him, but lukewarm might just be the perfect word, for what he is about to do.

he reckons he could even possibly recover from this moment ever again, but to hell with it. what is he if not an egoistical striker who can't even get the number of his pretty neighbor next door?

possibly a loser, but let's be honest. he kind of is.

but we can excuse that because of his boyish charms, can we?

the silence that hovers over the atmosphere was rather foreign, uncharacteristically from all the comfortable stillness you had with him.

the anxiety that swirls within was contagious, isagi and this newfound silence was not helping with it.

and in the middle of all the uncomfortable reverie and this consuming tension, with hundreds of practice and perfection in his head, he still managed to fuck things up.

"can i borrow your phone?"

fuck.

isagi yoichi is a loser. even after all the countless talks and encouragement insults he had received, isagi yoichi had made a mistake once again.

you looked at him with confusion painted all over your face and to be honest, yoichi might have died a little on the inside.

but what's a man gotta do? he's more determined than to let his already blown away ego and his thoughts, back down from this.

"my phone?"

"..yes.. please?"

you look at him incredulously, doubt was much apparent, but you acquiesce to his plea. grabbing your phone from the bedside of your room, leaving isagi to contemplate every decision he had made.

coming back to him not long, with the device in your hand, handing it to him without any clue to what he needs it for.

an idea comes to mind onto what he is using it for, it may have been he was locked out of his apartment, or maybe he lost his keys, or maybe his phone was dead and his charger was nowhere to be seen.

a lot of possibilities, but it remained to be a mystery.

isagi returned your phone to you without a word, you look at him with much more confusion and he only gives you a sharp grin before running off.

what a way to save himself from this scenario.

leaving you puzzled, as you look at your phone with your contacts left open and noticing a new one added to it, with a name you're very much familiar with.

yoichi ;)

maybe, yoichi isn't here to borrow from you anymore.

© fallenssun 2023. do not repost, translate, or duplicate any of my works on here or any other websites.

[hard-core-super-star]

Hey rubix!! I just watched the marvels and I LOVED it!!! I was wondering if you could do a carol x reader fic where Carol is introducing her gf to Monica and Kamala and they just click really quickly and bond 😭

I’m going on a carol rampage atm bc she just looked too GOOD 🤭

- ✨

if forever will have me [C.Danvers]

paring: carol danvers x reader

summary: your girlfriend brings two stowaways on board after a rough mission, you welcome them with open arms while carol tries to adjust.

warnings: none?; fluff with minimal plot; carol's a dorky mess and we love her for it; brief emotional moments but nothing too drastic; R's a mom friend in this one frfr; not proofread; i still suck at endings

wordcount: 2.5k

a/n: I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING OVER A YEAR TO WRITE THIS 😭 you deserved so much better, lovely anon, please forgive me. in an effort to make it up to you, i turned this into a longer fic than i originally planned, and sort of tweaked the movie plot a little because i felt it was missing a few scenes like this. i really hope you enjoy (and that i didn't totally forget how to write for carol) and once again, i'm so sorry for taking so long to write this. hopefully, there'll be more carol fic in the making soon <3

* * * * * * *

To say you were worried about Carol would be an understatement. 

While it wasn't completely unusual to go a few days without hearing from her, thanks to how chaotic her job could get, she always made sure to update you as soon as possible. Especially when you were staying in her spaceship catsitting.

Truth be told, Goose didn't really need babysitting. Mainly because more often than not, Carol just took the alien cat with her, both for comfort and companionship. However, it gave the blonde the perfect excuse to convince you to join her.

Again, you didn't really need convincing, but it made your girlfriend feel better when you were brought on board as part of her team. Her "team" being you and her...and Goose...and the occasional call from Nick Fury...and King Valkyrie. As much as the blonde insisted she preferred working alone, she was surrounded by a pretty badass support system.

Said support system wasn't enough to help her with her newest problem, though.

A problem that even you weren't qualified to help her with.

Ship full of homeless Skrulls and emotional visit from the King of Asgard aside, it was nice to have other people aboard. Even if one of those people was Carol's sort of adopted (and abandoned) daughter and the other one was a teenage girl who was quite literally Captain Marvel's biggest fan. They might not have been your first choice of companions, but you were nothing if not a welcoming host.

As soon as King Valkyrie transported the Skrull refugees back to Asgard with her, you made your way to your girlfriend's side.

"Hey," you say, you hand reaching out to take hers. "Rough day?"

Your words make her chuckle despite herself. "That's an understatement."

"What do you need from me?"

"Just...don't let go."

Her arms envelop you before you can even try to question her. You happily return her embrace, allowing her to bury her face against your shoulder and let out the heaviest sigh you've heard in a while. She doesn't have to say anything for you to known she's trying to decompress after the shit show that's gone down.

You hold the blonde close as you run your hand up and down her back, eyes bouncing back and forth between Monica and Carol's biggest fan. As awkward as it is for you, you can't imagine it's any easier for them so, you break the silence.

"Cool ship, right?"

They both nod, although the older of the two looks anywhere but you. You can't really blame her considering her history with Carol and how weird the whole situation is. A situation you still don't know any details of.

"Is, uh, is she okay?" The younger brunette ask.

"Oh, yeah, she's just...recharging."

Your girlfriend grumbles something in response, but you don't pay her any mind. It's not your fault she's literally a human lamp.

You sidestep the two of you until you're out of sight. It's not like you want to be secretive or anything, there's just a higher chance the blonde will tell you what's wrong if it's just the two of you.

"Hey, babe," you murmur.

She grumbles once more, slowly detaching herself from your neck. The glassiness of her eyes instantly makes alarms ring in your head.

"Carol-"

Your girlfriend instantly shrugs you off. "I'm fine, I just...need some time."

As badly as you want to argue with her, the last thing she needs right now is more difficulties.

"So, you're just going to leave me here with your new friends?" You ask with a raised eyebrow.

"You'll be fine, it's not like they're too happy with me either right now."

She tries to laugh it off, but you're no fool. You can see the heaviness on her shoulders, the far-away look in her eye that can't mean anything good. As badly as you want to go with her, you know she needs some time to catch her breath on her own.

So, you let her go, leaving you alone with the newest members of your unofficial team.

Not even five seconds go by before the silence is interrupted by the young brunette. "I didn't know Captain Marvel had a girlfriend."

"Does that mean no one talks about me in the fan forums?"

"That's probably for the best."

You cross the small space until you're in front of them, offering them the warmest smile you can muster. "Listen, I know this situation isn't ideal, but it's nice to have other people on the ship."

Monica gives you the smallest of smiles in response, which might not be much, but it's a start. A start you're not about to waste.

"Let's start over, yeah?" You say, somewhat aware of how shitty they must be feeling too, if Carol's barely hidden emotions are anything to go by. "I'm y/n, this ship's second captain."

"Kamala." She eagerly shakes your hand. "This ship's nice. Actually, it's really awesome."

"I know," you whisper in response, earning yourself a brighter smile.

Once Kamala finally releases your hand, you turn to face the older brunette. The soft look in her eyes does little to soothe your nervousness. You'd imagined meeting her many times before, although under much better circumstances.

"Oh, I'm Monica, but I'm assuming you already knew that."

"Yeah, it's really nice to meet you."

The sincerity in your voice seems to catch her off-guard, but she recovers before you can call her out on it. And by recover, all she really does is sidestep the conversation you need to have.

"Do you think Carol needs help?" She asks.

"Oh, she needs a lot of help but good luck getting through to her," you reply with an affectionate roll of your eyes.

Kamala barely stifles a laugh at your words, clearly enjoying the dynamic you're starting to form with them. While Carol wasn't exactly hard to read, she could be a little rough around the edges at first, especially when placed in stressful situations she feels responsible for.

Monica, on the other hand, lets out a long sigh. "I meant with the ship."

"Oh, yeah, probably. Just know she'll say no if you ask her."

"Yeah, I had a feeling."

 There's an edge of nostalgia to her words that you understand all too well. As badly as you want to talk to her about it, to reassure her that what happened wasn't her fault, that Carol still cares, you know it's not your place.

Unfortunately, you're also aware of how awkward your girlfriend can be. It's as endearing as it is frustrating.

While Monica goes down to the ship's engine room to talk to Carol, you stay with Kamala. 

You let her admire the place for a few moments before you speak up again. "Hey, you okay? Want to talk about what happened?"

Her eyes remain glued to Goose, busying herself with petting her even while she responds to your question. "You mean how I totally got scolded by my idol?"

You honestly have no idea what she's talking about, but you want her to feel supported, so you nod anyway. "Sure, if you want to."

The only response you get for a few seconds is a heavy sigh. You can see her shoulders slumping forward as she allows herself to finally accept how she's feeling. "I really didn't think our first meeting would go like this. It was supposed to be cooler, y'know? Full of bonding and really funny jokes and me getting to show off my awesome powers. Instead, I just messed up and made THE Captain Marvel mad."

You do your best to stifle the laughter that threatens to bubble up inside your throat. The last thing you want to do is invalidate her feelings but...you can't deny how amusing her rambling is.

"Sweetheart, I promise you Carol's not mad at you and I don't even know what happened. She's just protective. And really stubborn. And not the best team player."

Your words seem to bring little comfort to her. "I just...I don't want to disappoint her."

Kamala's voice breaks at the end, leading you to spring into action faster than you can even process. Even though you're not exactly sure how to comfort her, you know you have to do something. At least until Carol comes back.

"Hey," you say as you walk over to her, your arms wide open for her. "You won't. You're not going to disappoint anyone, okay? I guarantee you Carol's beating herself up for yelling at you. She's a captain, not a tyrant."

Your words make her chuckle even as she accepts the hug offer. She might not fully believe you right now, but that's okay. All that matters to you is that she doesn't feel like an outsider. Because as weird as it might be, you're all in this together now and that means being there for each other.

A few seconds go by before she speaks up again.

"Hey, um...is there somewhere I could shower?"

"Yeah, let me show you."

You show Kamala to the bathroom, helping her figure out how the shower works and giving her some of Carol's oversized clothes to wear. It's a small thing, but you hope it'll help her feel a little more at home in your large spaceship. It'd taken you a long time to get used to the whole being in space thing too.

Once you get back to the main area, you find Monica again, a thin layer of tears making her brown eyes sparkle. You're not exactly sure how to approach her, or if she even wants to be approached, but you know you have to do something. As much as you love Carol, you don't trust she didn't accidentally stick her foot in her mouth.

Monica watches you approach, silently analyzing your next move.

As much as you want to simply walk away, you can't. Not when you know how hard your girlfriend has been on herself about what happened with Monica and her mom.

"It's been hard for her too, y'know?" You say with a soft smile.

She blinks a few times, seemingly trying to hide how affected she is. "Oh, I don't...I'm fine."

Maybe you should leave it alone, it's technically none of your business, and yet...you can't stop yourself from prying a little. Mainly since you're also acutely aware of the team-up situation they find themselves in. The last thing they needis to be at each other's throats because of their past.

"Yeah? Is that why you can't look at Carol for more than five seconds?"

Her jaw clenches at that, but you stand firm. Or as firm as you can be when you're staring down the barrel of a loaded gun. The gun in question being Monica's exasperated expression.

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

Despite her attempt at sounding mad, the way her voice cracks reveals the true feelings lingering under the surface. The ones she's been pushing down for who knows how long.

"Maybe." You shrug. "But I know she's been beating herself up for not coming back sooner. I know she spent the majority of the last five years talking about your mom. About you. You're her family. The only one she has left."

Monica tries her hardest to appear unaffected, but the change in her expression says it all. Her eyes soften as her jaw unclenches, her bottom lip trembling just the slightest bit to let you know you've cracked her defenses.

"She has you."

Her words are soft. Not really a complaint or an argument. Simply a statement. One that makes your face flush despite your hardest efforts.

"That's not...you know what I mean."

For once, she drops the cool act. "I do, but my point still stands. You're her family too. And honestly? I think she needs you more than I do right now."

You let out a soft chucke. "Yeah, I can't argue with that. You'll be okay?"

The question is far more loaded than you realize and yet, she nods. "Yeah, I think so."

With that, you make your way back to Carol, not at all surprised to find her muttering under her breath as she paces back and forth. "Everything okay, Captain?"

She stops in her tracks the second she hears your voice. "Something like that. It's been a long day."

"Tell me about it, it seems you've brought out some strong emotions in everyone."

"Yeah." The blonde does her best to glue a smirk onto her face, but she fails miserably. If anything, her smile comes off more like a grimace than anything.

You cross the space between you in an instant. "How are you holding up?"

She answers your question with one of her own. "How's Kamala doing? I shouldn't have yelled at her earlier."

As much as you hate her tendency to side-step talking about how she's feeling, you allow it. Clearly, you're not the only one who's gotten attached to the young girl. "She's okay, maybe a little upset, but nothing a warm shower can't fix."

A long sigh escapes her and even though you want nothing more than you wrap her up in your arms, you hold back. As difficult as it is, you wait for her to show you what she needs. "This is why I don't work with a team. I'm awful at it."

You can't stop yourself from poking fun at her. "You're literally a captain, though."

This time, the smile that crosses her face looks warmer. Real in a way you're used to. "That's not funny."

"I thought it was hilarious."

You wrap your arms around her neck before she can complain about your shitty jokes, pulling her closer. She catches on pretty quickly and wraps her arms around your waist before she leans in to capture your lips in a slow kiss.

The moment ends far too quickly for your liking.

Her forehead rests against your own, her blue eyes sparkling with emotions you know she can't fully put into words. Not that you'd ever force her.

That being said, you wish you didn't know exactly where things were going.

"You're not going to tell me what's going on, are you?" You ask even though you already know the answer.

"Nope." She pecks your lips before you can protest. "I have enough to worry about, I can't put you in the line of fire too."

"You know I don't mind. I want to be here for you."

Her hand leaves your waist to trail her finger up your arm. She grips your wrist and slowly brings it away from her neck and toward her chest. "I know, princess, but I have to do this on my own. I have to fix my mistakes."

You find yourself huffing in response. "I hate it when you get all serious like that."

She chuckles, bringing your wrist up to her lips for a few lingering kisses. "I'll come back to you before you know it. Promise."

"I'll be waiting, Captain."

You pull her back in without another word, knowing full well you'll both keep to your promises.

[filiazpink]

HEYYYY IM THE GIRL FROM THE COMMENT SECTION OF YOUR ORION AND D-16 AND THEIR SUPERIOR FIC!!! i just wanted to let you know it was adorable and that if it’s alright with you i would love to see a part two! 💕💕💕

🩷"INFATUATED"🩷

orion pax x femme + superior! reader x d-16 - part 2

warnings: MAJOR transformers one spoilers, sentinel prime likes the reader too HELP, my cutie patootie oc being mentioned once, darkwing being darkwing electric boogaloo, cheesy stuff once again

summary: takes place during the iacon 5000, and a bit of the aftermath that follows. orion's crush is still very obvious and d-16 is warming up to you.

a/n: SO MANY NOTES ON PART 1?? TYSM EVERYONE 💗💗💗💗 and also a round of applause to this lovely requester here sending the ask that motivated me to make a part 2 :3 sorry it took so long i was busy with art commissions and writing my dark deception fic :( hopefully this will live up to the expectations of the 30 ppl that sent me in inbox to make a part 2 !! if you guys want a part 3 with even more stuff, lemme know in the inbox! it would be kinda fun to make a mini series with this idea for the whole movie !! ENJOY !!!

word count: 1740

proofread: minimal (lemme know if there's any errors!!)

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somehow, you managed to gain one of the best spots in iacon to watch the race take place.

well, it was easy to know why.

sentinel prime himself considered you as one of ‘his closest friend’, so he reserved a special seat just for you: right next to him.

best seat in the house.

it was a very overwhelming experience overall, with cameras all pointed towards you and THE sentinel prime, the fact that you were simply next to the savior of iacon, the slight confusion you had for what you and sentinel were. i mean, you only spoke to him professionally, and those were rare occasions. surely, he met thousands of new bots everyday, yet he remembered you of all bots. 

but all of that couldn’t compare to the dread that took over your entire body as soon as you heard sentinel utter the following:

“i’m sorry- are those miners in the race?” the two of you turned around to the giant screen to see that, indeed, there were cogless bots participating in the race.

and not just any cogless bots, bots from your sector!

and not just bots from your sector, it was those two charming bots orion pax and d-16!

your optics widened at the revelation, on the point of transforming to go and stop them before they get damaged beyond repair but sentinel held you back.

“hey- hey, what are you doing??” he mumbled, looking back at the cameras every few seconds to make sure they weren’t focused on him.

“those are workers from my sector!! i-i know them, i have to sto-”

“come on, (y/n), relax! they’ll be fine! besides, think of the inspirational boost it’ll give the other miners if they do win. they’ll be delighted.” he tried coaxing you into relaxing, going so far as to gently rub your shoulder in an attempt at comforting you but you had none of it.

“this is a first in iacon 5000 history!”

“oh primus, please, please, please keep them alive!,,,”

“how are they going to survive?”

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eventually, the cameras couldn’t pick up feed on the tunnel that the majority of the racers, including orion and d-16, were in. the thought of finding them crushed or in worse condition sickened you. with a trembling hand, you quickly gripped onto sentinel’s, who couldn’t help but look smug at your reaction.

“they’ll be okay,,, right?!” you asked him and the prime sighed.

“don’t worry. if they end up hurt, we’ll just send them to medbay-”

“i don’t believe it! the miners take down darkwing!”

the crowd went wild at the display, somehow getting louder than it already was. the femme and the prime watched in astonishment as the miners went from last place to third place in such a short amount of time. 

well, now you knew that darkwing was going to complain about that to you for the rest of the work cycle.

you let go of the blue and golden bot’s hand (much to his very visible disappointment) to place it over your mouth. your optics shined in absolute amazement, watching the main screen showing orion and d-16 looking more and more hopeful. 

“OHH, MINERS!” darkwing literally roared at them, his fists clenching in total anger. 

“great effort, darkwing!” orion attempted to cheer on darkwing for his efforts, but deep down, he knew once this was over, he and his companion were royally fucked.

“t-that worked! it actually worked! you think (y/n) saw all that?!” d-16 beamed, getting more and more excited at the thought of you watching them- watching him win the race.

“i’m sure she’s watching! she’ll be so proud of us!”

after passing the magnetic obstacle course tunnel (much to your relief, poor bots would have been crushed beyond repair), you felt like your body couldn’t handle all the amount of excitement, especially with the announcer going:

“a four-bot pile-up in the magnetic tunnel and the two miners are now in first position! this is UNBELIEVABLE!”

the speechless prime turned around, facing the finish line, pulling you alongside to observe. 

from the corner of his optic, he watched your reactions with envy. you never reacted that way whenever he showed up to your office unprompted.

were those two cog-less bots really that important when he’s here?

however, his train of thoughts was interrupted as a shattered piece from a nearly crushed racer hit d-16 from behind, making the grey bot trip and fracture his leg. you gasped at the outcome, praying they were still close enough to make it.

orion reached for d-16, pulling him up and slinging him onto his back, slowly making his way to the finish line. 

everyone was losing it, including sentinel, who was on the edge of his seat. will they make it in time? 

even the announcer seemed to be overly excited!

orion quickly looked up to your radiant face, feeling another rush of energy flow through him simply by seeing your wonderstruck expression. by the allspark, you looked glorious with all the different lights shining onto your armour.

“one miner is now carrying the other, mere steps from the finish line in the most amazing, sensational, dramatic, heart-rending, exciting, thrilling finish in the history of-”

and all of a sudden, all of it was cut short as a white and cyan mech ran into the smaller bots, knocking them back down. the mech transformers and slid across the finish line, throwing her fists in the air.

“WE HAVE A WINNERRR!! CHROMIA COMES FROM BEHIND TO TAKE THE PRIZE! talk about an iacon 5000 for the ages!”

your excitement died down. sure, you were happy for chromia, she won fair and square, but,,,

you sighed as you watched every other surviving racer fly past the two miners, still trying to see the small mechs as sentinel let out a chuckle, dragging you away with him to congratulate the winner.

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“mmh, they should be right here, miss.”

“thank you, mekastat.”

the pale red and pink bot nodded at you with a courteous smile, walking away from the medbay you were informed that orion and d-16 were in. you let out a long sigh, clearing your throat and before you could knock at the door, you managed to overhear the ongoing conversation.

“we are SO screwed!” you could distinguish d-16’s frustrated voice through the commotion, followed by orion’s more gentle tone:

“i thought you weren’t talking to me,,,”

“hey, look, i know it's all a big joke to you, but not me! i was paying my dues. i was going places and now they're going to bust me down- i don't even know how many tiers-”

“d, i’m sorry-”

“A-AND NOT JUST THAT! SHE SAW IT ALL HAPPEN! SHE,,, she saw everything.” she? no, that doesn’t matter. your curiosity will be your downfall.

with a quick knock, their conversation was cut short as you quietly walked in. orion immediately sat up straight, his optics wide open. a blush (that you assumed was out of embarrassment) decorated his face. d-16, however, didn’t even look you in the eye, his head hunched over in shame.

“hi.”

they waited for any form of reprimand from you, but since you simply stared back at them as to wait for them to speak, orion decided to be the first to break the ice.

“,,, i’m so sorry, (y/n), i was the one to s-suggest the idea of us participating. demote me but not d-16, i practically dragged him along into this.” d-16 turned his head just a little bit at his friend, the tension in his yellow optics leaving just a tad bit.

you thought for a while, looking away and missed the way that even in such a situation where you were supposed to, yes, reprimand them, orion looked up at you like you hung the moon and the stars combined. even in the poor lighting the room had, your armour still shined in a hypnotizing way. at least, in orion’s eyes.

“i should punish you for breaking protocol like this.”

“we know,,,” “but.” you got down on your knees, still towering over the miners, and with a small and gracious smile, you said: “i won’t. besides, even if you lost, that was still the coolest thing i’ve ever seen.”

hearing that made d-16’s helm rise back up to stare at you with a bewildered expression, matching his friend. 

“really??”

you then let out a small giggle and gave them a bigger smile, which totally didn’t make the two smaller bots swoon. “it was amazing! you were both so fast, and you managed to take down darkwing?? he’s never going to hear the end of it! do you know how long he’s been training for this day and he was beaten by you two, who never trained for this type of action?!”

they’ve never seen you this excited, just the sight made up for the fact that they had lost and possibly humiliated themselves to millions of cybertronians. 

“if anything, if sentinel doesn’t end up giving you guys a prize for making it this far, i’d think he’d be wasting an opportunity to celebrate true racers!” 

“oh- wait! sentinel! what’s he going to do with us??” asked d-16, nearly getting up from the table, stress once more filling his processors. 

your excitement died down at the mention of his name. oh, right. him.

“um, i could try to convince him to not do anything drastic! he considers me a friend of his, apparently.”

“that won’t be necessary.” another femme’s voice droned out, one that you immediately recognized. 

“i’ll take it from here, (y/n). head back to your post.” airachnid ordered, stepping aside for you to leave. you turned your helm to the miners and waved goodbye, still watching them as you walked away until they were no longer in sight.

as you were about to leave the building, you bumped into darkwing, who despite not having visible facial features, you could tell with the way he was walking that he was still absolutely infuriated.

“darkwing,,,?” you asked and in response, he swiftly turned around, grabbed you by the shoulders and screamed:

“I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE A VERY BEAUTIFUL AND VALUED BOT IN MY LIFE.” and so he power walked into the hospital, leaving you utterly confused.

,,,

what.

wait why was he going in the hospital?

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🩷send me a burger !! : ko-fi💗 🩷visit my other socials !! : socials list💗 🩷writing requests rules !! : info list💗

[haerni]

HOW SWEET, “i’m without you”

synopsis: y’know it’s just an old trick && the demon who keeps knocking at your heart knows the formula,, but you won’t fall for it anymore, right ?

ft. lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun + park sunghoon. (based on ‘how sweet’ by NewJeans!)

content: fem reader! just hyung line trying to rizz (woo) you up, kind of exes to lovers, they fumbled lol except for jay, lowkey implied toxic relationship, miscommunication trope, subpar dialogues struggling fr, jake & reader has issues fr (10:36 inspo). 2.8k words

— as always minimal proofread and very self indulgent >< & also because i wrote it on a whim.

( 🗯️ ) notes: a very word vomit drabble, haven't written in a long time, my exams are approaching soon this is sort of a lil warm gift from me ! ^_^ can u tell i love jay.. he's literally every eldest daughter's dream :(

JUST STEP OUT YOU LITTLE DEMON IN MY STORYLINE don’t knock on my door, i’ll see you out

this has been too much of an occurrence, a habit that heeseung has grown accustomed to. he knows he shouldn’t, its not acceptable, he knows he’s subjecting himself to a torture that was designed to be his dreams of you.

he should stop, he should leave, yet he finds himself once more at the same blocks of pavements with the exact same four steps up to the porch decorated with flowers that bloom so prettily in the night. and his knuckles hits the same wooden door, eyes dazed, out of his mind, but he knocks.

he knows he doesn’t have any right to be here. to stand in front of your door letting his frame lean on it as he waits for the same footsteps he has memorized.

heeseung prided over being a gentleman, he’s respectful, he knows his boundaries—his place, but right now he’s anything that.

maybe lee heeseung has never been one after you.

he hears the scuffle behind the door, and maybe it was weird that he knows exactly those footfalls, how just sound manages to touch a vile in him, a rush of excitement thrums as he waits the door to creak open. because the other side to where he stands, there you were.

it opens.

there you are—his favorite girl. a frown adorning your face and your eyes reflecting the warm light above your door, “you can't keep doing this, heeseung.”

and a stupid smile makes its way to his face when you call his name. he’s almost thankful he stopped taking the drinks jake kept giving him, it could never even compare the sound he hears now (which he would rather much indulge in).

“hi, baby,” he breathed.

he may or may not remember this night, but he’ll regret it again in the morning.

you scoff at him, “you can’t call me that now, heeseung.” his name felt like acid to his face when you say it that way, but nevertheless lee heeseung lets you burn him—because he deserves it, a faint voice whispers in his head.

“sorry, bad habits.”

what a little liar, he was. because after all, he knows that you know it was, there was never a point for him to utter it in your face.

he doesn’t know what was worse, the venom that kills you or the silence that drowns you? heeseung prefers if you would curse him just a little, maybe he would feel more good with that, maybe it would lessen the guilt that lies heavy in his chest.

but heeseung is addicted, he is addicted to this tryst (you’re not together anymore, he reminds himself) and he still asks you the same question.

“let me in?”

he was bad for you, you knew that. he wonders why you still open your door for him every night his feet takes him to you? you were just as addicted as him, he surmised.

it’s selfish, but he wishes you’d stay the same.

DONE SCROLLING THOUSAND TIMES I KNOW IT’S AN OLD TRICK it’s a very simple formula

for someone who you call as your ex, park jongseong became much more than that to you.

your fallout was something you couldn't call fine, because it isn't. you were a mess—jay wanted to hold you and you can't have yourself fall over the edge just yet.

you weren't ready and he was.

you and jay are the polar opposite of each other. he was put together, he knows what he wants, he has everything, he is secure with himself. and you are simply not everything he was—it was daunting, it scared you and it was stupid. jay loved you all the same, he was perfect and that became bigger than all the good things you call in your relationship with him.

you knew that dating jay would come with perils and problems, you knew them you would both overcome it. but is love really enough to be an answer, when you were the problem itself?

it is incomprehensible to you, how can someone be capable to love this much?

you never asked him, he couldn't give you an answer that you deserve because of it.

it’s unhealthy—you are calling him again. you really shouldn't, you knew your friends would be disappointed. it's ironic how fast you fall in the abyss of darkness, but you couldn't trust yourself to do the same when he asked you to let him catch you. (familiarity was a variable that played a favor over your heart and jay knew that)

the dial tone rings—once, twice, you hear his voice.

“yn, you okay?” it was immediate and it's soft. it's too much. you're convinced you were cursed. you yearn for it, for him.

he waits for you, as he always does. patiently, as you knew him and he hears the breaths you take, the sniffles, he worries more. he tries to call you out once more.

“lov—” he catches himself from saying it, “hey, talk to me, angel.”

“i’m sorry. i don’t know what is wrong with me, ‘seong,” you try to catch your breath, apologizing as soon as you said it.

god, it breaks something in him, “it’s okay, yn. i got you, yeah?” he’s already at the door taking his keys, he doesn’t have any right, but you need him, right? please say it to him, please need him just one more time and let him hold you this time. as soon as he utters his prayers, you whisper.

“can you come to me..” it was so quiet he almost didn’t catch it, “please?” but he’s glad he did.

when he had declared that he would love one person in his life, he vowed and kept it. park jongseong was in it for you, he knew why you broke things off with him, he understood—like all the times he does. you probably didn't know, but he couldn't get himself to remove the picture of you in his bedside. when you called him a week after, he knew he should hang up the call and let you figure things out by yourself, but he didn't. your number stayed as it was before. he should grant you space and time, but he couldn't. because jay loved you so damn much, it's either you or no one else.

be damned all those fears that lingers with you, because park jongseong wants you and only you.

I WON’T ASK ANYMORE (HOW SWEET IT TASTES) you don’t have to tell me now that i’m without you

one thing that jake fails to understand was how much you think he doesn’t need you as much as you need him. he shoots all your words down before they can leave him out alone.

the nights have always been a nightmare for you, not because of the dark veils in the sky, or the monsters that chase you, but because you can’t sleep. you cannot descend to slumber as you would have when you were a child—it was easier then. now warmth was more of a problem for you, it’s a small problem it shouldn’t really be much to be fuzz over it. a stuff toy would’ve solved the problem just fine, it provided you the same security that lulls you into the night.

except that you have found sanctuary in sim jaeyun—a safe haven that envelopes you deeper into sleep, his warm body offers more than security. serenity and heaven sounds just as the same when he holds you in the night.

but everything should always come to an end, doesn’t it?

you don’t know when the peace he had offered cracks through you and it felt like a burden of guilt you couldn’t understand.

“we can’t keep doing this, ‘yunie.”

he doesn’t get you, confused and bewildered at your sudden statement to him when he sat down on your couch. he thinks you’re playing with him, maybe a prank, one of your silly little ideas. because he is sure as hell you didn’t just call your relationship as something like ‘this’, like it wasn’t worth of anything.

“what do you mean, yn?”

the air feels a little heavier, jake knew then that he wouldn’t like what was ever you were going to say. and he does whatever could save him of his position to you, whatever could shut down every rejection you think of. but before he could even dismiss it, this time you beat him to it.

“let’s stop this, jake. stop pretending like you need me.” you say more firmly.

he frowns at that, he doesn’t need you? are you being serious? “i don’t know what you’re talking about, pretty. because i’m pretty damn sure i’m not pretending here.”

you scoff at that. he doesn’t really get it does he? “aren’t you tired? we aren’t anything jaeyun, you’re just someone who helps me sleep at night and i don’t want to take up your time, i don’t want to use you. we’re nothing more, nothing less than this.”

this—jake hates that word now.

why do you keep using it, why are you reducing your relationship as to something less than what it should? why are you pushing him away now? why were you pretending like it’s nothing? why are you not understanding that you’re not the only one who needs something?

“what’s so wrong with this? with us?”

“everything!”

what’s wrong with that? what’s wrong with holding you in the night to sleep? so what if you don’t know what to label it between the boundaries of romantic and platonic? what was wrong with having you? what was wrong leaning to him? to ask him for help?

his eyes tell you everything you need to know that goes in his head, because you’ve known enough to read him. you were friends since you were fifteen and now you don’t know anymore, but you know him. you can’t lean into him anymore—not when, what you feel now steps over the line of what a friend should be.

(it feels weird now, to have the need to hold someone at night, yet you want it. but you can’t tie down jake, you can’t do that to him.)

jake doesn’t understand what the problem was. he knew the risk of what the two of you had agreed, he was willing to bet on every star that he wouldn’t mind for you to have him.

he doesn’t understand but he knows he loves you, “hold me, then. don’t let me go.” he pleads with you.

you can’t.

I’M FEELING MY OWN WAY I’M IN IT ‘CAUSE ME AND YOU ARE DIFFERENT so i won’t stay, i’m leaving

you and sunghoon has always been an intricate of woven patterns, with spools of threads of your color stitch into each of you. both of you are too much of each other. you used to think nothing could ever sever the tapestry the both of you weaved. that was before he was miles away from home and time was not a challenge to the both of you.

all the memories you remember were now bound with his last words before he left, “take care.”

he was called to train internationally, it was big. he was making a name for himself out there and now his name is called over to be known by the world. you’re always happy for him, you’re proud. sunghoon was made to be in the spotlight, he was made to be loved, he was born to be on a stage where he shines. and you think sunghoon looks pretty, he looks pretty when he’s on the rink, skating. he looks so happy there, a place so far yet so near where you can’t step in and reach.

he looks so happy without you and that was okay, you think to yourself. it’s okay, a repeated mantra sounding in your mind as you watch him through a screen.

waiting wasn’t new to you and wanting him more wasn’t either. you don’t really know what is much worse.

there is a space between that bleeds, an indentation of sunghoon in your heart. cold was a familiar company in your darkened nights, his name was like a ghost of an echo in your home.

it’s okay, you remind yourself again. you’re fine with this.

because he looks so happy when he’s not with you, park sunghoon belongs to the world and it makes you sick—even though you know it’s selfish and it’s disgusting to feel something like this—you realize then, you don’t want to be part of that world, just among the sea of faces he’ll forget.

the picture in the frames looks at you with mockery, his side in everything feels hollow and nothing. he is like the ocean that slips past beyond your fingers, but completely engulfs you wholly, having your lungs deluge in it. it pierces through like an arrow, the same ones where you used to believe it was out of love, before everything comes down.

you love park sunghoon, you really do. in the depths of your heart his name was carved gently and carefully.

a name that would solely have your heart beating in a mile, you've never thought it would just end up bleeding, cut open freshly with his own hands, a heart you have given so willingly and with so much trust that you can ever offer in a silver lining platter. to love boundlessly and endlessly until you’re a void of nothing, but a shell of yourself shriveled. but you can’t stop pouring the wine until it overflows—until it’s empty.

you’re not sure where it started, when all the warmth turned cold, where he decided to give up, you're not sure if you can keep fighting.

you never saw it coming, you’re sure the love the both of you had can overcome anything, it can have your relationship stay afloat through all the storms and tides of problems and indecisions, maybe you’re wrong, maybe it was him, maybe it was bound to happen. you’re too hurt to think about it. but a mirage plays in your mind dauntingly, that you can still have those memories you had together, the thread stands on its own, stretching to its limits, the lines dwindle and your hope dies down together with it.

when did his hands drop yours?

the indentation he leaves is noticeable, you can hardly miss it, after all you felt like you were the letter that got crumpled.

his name echoes around the walls of your home (can you still call it a home if it’s devoid of anything?) a mockery to you, his things were, his conspicuous absence, the darkened place of loneliness, the moonlight bleeds into the window, giving your room an illuminated light, it’s suffocating, and somehow the room seems smaller, closer, a cage or walls of once you knew were the sanctuary of comfort, now stands tall as nothing, but a reminder of the fall apart.

the heart of once you have loved was gone and you’re not sure if you’ll be fine by then. were you even sure of anything at all? living with a ghost of a name in your heart, moving on wasn’t always easy to do, but you hope nonetheless, you hope his name would be nothing, but healed scars from all of the distance.

he comes home on a random wednesday with nothing, but his training suit and eyes that you always adore tired and on the verge of falling. a crazed look of apprehension, sunghoon knew you were slipping through his fingers when you wouldn’t answer his calls anymore and the best thing he could think of was to hold you, physically—so you wouldn’t disappear on him.

when he stands in front of you the words don’t appear in front of him, it’s frustrating.

“why can’t you just leave me?”

and god does he wish you wouldn’t say that to him again.

“i can’t,” he whispers, “i tried and i simply can’t.”

when park sunghoon met you, he started dreaming—he was nine summers then. still has the childlike wonder who held admiration and you were eight who live on the other side of the road from his house, he thinks you were pretty.

like a beautiful sunset he always watches with his sister on the seaside, you always seem to be there for him anyway, catching a glimpse of your face on the side of his eyes. his coach always scolds him for being distracted in the rink, he only responds with,

“sorry, coach. i’ll do better.” he wanted to impress you back then. (he still does.)

the sun shines so brightly it doesn’t miss how it always seems to reflect your smile. laughing at something your friend has told you, he wonders what it was.

back then the two of you didn’t really talk much at first, always the brief gaze at each and little waves. but nothing more, he wishes to talk to you on other days, when the time is slow and the breeze washes all the heat from his face, but he doesn’t, always hesitating, almost made encounters, but by the end of it he’ll just back out the last minute.

it’s almost a surprise how he even managed to call you his, park sunghoon has loved you since the ninth of summer.

you still love him despite everything.

he thinks you are still pretty until now, wearing his old jersey with his name on it on the sidelines, cheering him on top of your voice, he decided right then that he would like to have you always there for him.

—fin.

｡｡｡ ♥︎ likes, comments & reblogs are highly appreciated! hope y'all like this, i went a lil crazy on hoon ㅠㅠ.

[byunejoo]

four seventeen p.m 𐦍

pairing asakura jo x fem reader

content est relationship, virgin!jo, inexperienced boyf!jo, big dick!jo, he’s kinda massive, oral (m rec), handjobs, fingering (f rec), finger sucking, kind of dom!reader but not really, virginity loss, protected and mentioned unprotected sex, condom breaking, he’s embarrassed, he lowkey has a praise kink, potential size kink, mentioned pulling out (but only barely)

word count 3.8k

notes not a request! (where are the jo requests </3) lol i told myself when i was writing this that it wouldn’t be long bc i wasn’t attracted to jo like that…..brain said “u wanna bet dani?” also this is not proofread and the ending was rushed so don’t mind any mistakes please

To say that Jo was nervous would be a major understatement.

You’d been dating Jo for a few months now and it was nothing short of wonderful. It seemed that the two of you operated on the same wavelength; you both shared the same hobbies, opinions, interests, and even your differences didn’t clash, but instead balanced each other out. It almost felt like you were made for one another.

On the other hand, though, he felt very nervous for the next step in your relationship. So far, all you have done was minimal affection—a kiss here and there, hugging and some slightly-stiff cuddling. But he’d noticed lately how much more clingy you were, how your touches lingered, kisses were longer, and your eyes wandered. He wasn’t dumb. He knew what you were thinking about.

But the issue comes when it actually gets down to it.

It’s not that Jo is a virgin by choice. Well—his own choice. There were times where he brushed off his nerves with others he was interested in, but once they had gotten his pants down, all plans fell through. In short, Jo’s dick is big. Much bigger than most people know how to handle. And instead of making him cocky and confident about his size, it did the complete opposite. He felt almost ashamed.

So, when you took initiative one afternoon, kissing him a little harder and longer than you usually do, he got nervous. He tried to keep up with kissing you back, but all he could focus on was your hand that dropped past his shoulder, sneaking further and further down his front. When he felt your fingertips brush past his belly button, he gasped and pulled back from the kiss. You, shocked from the abrupt action, pulled your hand away quickly and stared at him with wide eyes. Have you done something wrong? Did you make him uncomfortable?

“I’m sorry—,” you both started. The two of you gestured to one another to continue, awkwardly laughing.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” You shared a laugh about speaking again at the same time, but a blanket of seriousness covered the two of you after that. It was quiet and a little awkward. Neither of you wanted to be the one to break the silence after that. You watched as Jo avoided your gaze and fidgeted with his fingers. Those fingers that you often find yourself staring at as of late. Just thinking, wondering, imagining how they would feel—. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little nervous to…do anything.”

You regained your focus, letting your eyes snap back up to look at his face. His cheeks were tinted a slightly pink shade, his ears red, and although he was trying to look at you, he couldn’t stop his shifty eyes. “We don’t have to do anything, JoJo, that’s okay.”

“I want to!” If you hadn’t been staring at him so intently, you would’ve been startled by his sudden burst. “Sorry…. I-I want…to do stuff. I’m just nervous.”

Reaching a comforting hand out, you patted him on the shoulder. “Why’s that, babe? What makes you so nervous?”

Jo finally made eye contact with you. He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid your gaze yet again. He’s not sure if he could tell you while you’re looking at him like that. He doesn’t want to see the look of disappointment when he tells you “I’m a virgin.”

You snort a little, breathing out a sigh of relief. Scooting closer to him, you pressed right up against him to lean your head on his shoulder. “Thank god. I thought it was something I had done. You know I don’t care if you’re a virgin or not. We can do whatever you want, and not do whatever you don’t.”

He couldn’t deny how he hardened in his pants, thinking about finally having that moment, and with you of all people, being someone he cares about deeply. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw the bulge in his pants, but kept your eyes trained on his face as you reached for it. You were searching for any sign of hesitation, any sign he wants you to stop. But there wasn’t one.

And when you finally placed your hand over it, Jo felt his breath catch in his throat. He wasn’t fully hard yet, but that didn’t matter. In just a matter of time, with the way your hand was now working over his pants, he would be.

“Is this okay?” You could feel the way his thighs tense beside your hand. He was still avoiding your gaze, but you could see that he was looking at where you touch him. He nods. “I want to hear you say it.”

“It-It’s o-kay.” His voice was a little shaky, but it gave you all the confirmation you needed.

You leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss on the underside of his jaw. Adding a little more pressure, you cupped your hand more firmly around him, squeezing occasionally. His cock hardened, becoming more solid in your grasp. He gasped, taking shallow breaths as you kissed along his jaw and neck while you moved your hand. “Can I take your pants off?”

Your fingers slipped under his waistband when he said yes, hooking around his pants and underwear, pulling them both down to his thigh. His—now fully hard—cock sprung up, hitting against his stomach with a soft thud. Heat rushed from his chest all the way up to his forehead, and you couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. He groaned, reaching for his half-discarded pants. But you pushed his hands away and pinned his wrists to his side. He stares at you with wide eyes, waiting for your next move. Were you going to laugh at him? Humiliate him and tell him he was too big to do anything with, like everyone else?

No, you didn’t do any of that. “Is this what you were worried about, puppy?” He almost sighed at the petname. “Were you worried that your big dick would scare me away?” He nodded. You couldn’t help but let out another laugh. Not because you were laughing at him, nor making fun of him, but you can’t believe that all this time it was only because of something he has no control over.

“Please don’t laugh at me.”

You coo. “I’m not laughing at you. I think it’s cute that you were worried about this. But I promise it doesn’t scare me. Actually, it’s kind of arousing.” As you spoke, you smoothed over the skin of his thighs, hoping to make him less tense. “I’ll only do what you allow me to do. Can I touch you?”

“Yes. I want you to touch me, please.”

As you move to straddle his legs, Jo feels the bed shift under the movement of your knees, much like the way his stomach turns and dips at the realization that it’s happening. You are about to touch him, you’re going to make him cum, being the first person other than himself to do so. Your steady hands reach out, and after what feels like centuries, you finally wrap them around his cock. Two of your hands don’t even cover him completely from base to the tip. You give him a few experimental, dry pumps first before removing one hand. Spitting into the palm of it, you then used it to lubricate the glide of your hands on his length.

It felt much different having your hands on him versus his own. Your touch, although firm, was a lot softer. Gentler. You moved your hands a lot more slowly, familiarizing yourself with the heavy feeling of him in your hands. Feeling every inch of him, every little vein, and embedding that feeling into your mind. Your thumb swipes over his tip, dragging little beads of precum down, making every tug and twist of your hands on his cock even wetter and more slick. All he could do was squeeze his eyes shut and let out low moans. He could barely register when you asked if you could use your mouth, which he agreed to, of course.

The contact from your tongue had his eyes shooting open, feeling like all the air was knocked out of his lungs. He managed to let his eyes wander down, and he was met by the sight of you already looking at him, kitten licking over his tip while stroking him. Then, while he kept eye contact with you, you wrapped your lips around him. Only the tip at first. Gently suckling, hollowing your cheeks, then pulling off. After a few moments, you began to take more of him into your mouth. Just a couple of inches, little by little, until you felt you couldn’t take any more. You used one hand to follow behind your mouth so not one inch of his cock went untouched as you moved your head, bobbing up and down, back and forth. Jo could only grip the sheets beside his legs tightly, moaning and sighing. It was a feeling he’d never felt before. One that he could only think about in his dirty fantasies. The idea of someone being brave enough to pleasure him and his big dick was something he thought was too far-fetched, something he thought he’d never experience in his entire life. But here you are, sucking him off and giving him pleasure he could only dream of.

Before he realizes it, a tight feeling spreads from his flexed abdomen down to his toes, where he curls them while trying to fend off his pending orgasm. He knows he can’t hold off much longer, but he selfishly wants to have your mouth around him as long as he can have it. “Ah, I-I’m gonna c-um…” His words were broken from the sounds he’d been making previously. You didn’t stop nor slow down, and instead attempted to take just a little more between your lips. One hand moved to shuffle his shirt out of the way, the other holding his length steady as you moved your focus to rolling your tongue over and suckling what you have stuffed in your mouth. His thighs tensed and shook lightly as you pushed him right over the edge, humming around him. Your tongue laps up every drop he spills, causing broken moans to rumble from his chest straight to your core. You’d pretty much tuned out your own reactions, focusing on pleasuring him for the first time, but you can’t deny how badly it had affected you.

Once you’d swallowed every drop you could, and he was twitching from overstimulation, you climbed off of Jo’s legs and sat by his side. “Was that okay?” You pressed your thighs together looking at him. His chest was heaving up and down with the deep breaths he was taking to regulate his breathing, his hair was slightly tousled from your previous kiss, and the slight sheen of sweat on his flushed cheeks looked all too good to you. Not to mention the faintest of red marks on his neck from where you’d attached your lips earlier and the way his eyes are squeezed shut. He nodded, not confident in his voice yet. Yes, it was good, he wanted to tell you. Better than I could’ve imagined.

A heavy, but comfortable, silence fell upon the both of you as you allowed Jo to catch his breath. However, you couldn't deny that his labored breathing next to you, and the desire bubbling up and finally coming to a head once you’d finally seen what you’d been longing for didn’t make you want more. But you promised, you’d only do what Jo wanted. You’d go at his pace. It wouldn’t hurt to ask, though, would it?

“Do you want to go…further?” Yet again, his breath caught in his throat at your bold question. “It’s okay if not.”

He nods, seemingly the only reaction he can manage at this point. And with a few more questions, answered with a shake or a nod of his head, you had switched positions. Now you were laying in the spot he previously had been, knees bent and pressed together as Jo sits on his heels, waiting for you to tell him what you wanted him to do. He’d never gotten this far with anyone else, either.

“Take off my shorts. Just the shorts.” You stared at him, watching him nervously lick his lips. His plump lips that you can’t wait to feel all over you—but that’s for next time. This time, you wanted the focus to be less about you, despite how his full attention was on you now. This was his first time, and you want the experience to be all about him. But you aren’t sure if you could take him without some sort of preparation first. So you watch as his trembling fingers hook around the waistband of your flimsy shorts, gently tugging them off of your skin. You lift your hips so he could pull them off easier. Then, you moved your feet once the fabric pooled around your ankles, watching as he dropped them to the side. He struggled to keep his eyes at an appropriate level, totally unsure of where he’s allowed to look. “Look at me, babe. I want you to take my panties off, and I want you to see how wet I am for you.”

Jo feels like he’s going to explode with the words you’re saying. You’re wet? For him? These words are so simple yet so new and vulgar to him, but he thinks he likes them. He wants to hear more. So he hooks his fingers around the fabric of your underwear, much like he had done with your shorts before, only this time more confidently. However, he wasn’t ready for the sight in front of him when he’d pulled them off. Naturally, his eyes followed an imaginary line from your ankles all the way down your legs, where he saw what he thinks is one of his new favorite sights. You’d spread your thighs as he slipped your panties off of your legs, and he had a clear view of your gorgeous pussy. It was so pretty, and you hadn’t lied when you said you were wet. He couldn’t help but admire how some of your arousal had leaked into the seat of your underwear, spreading across your folds that glisten now that he’d removed the clothing.

“Give me your hand.” You reached out for him, and without much thought, he placed his large hand in your own. One by one, you curled his fingers down until he had just his pointer finger standing. Then, you guided his hand between your legs. You helped him slide his finger through your slick arousal, wetting his finger and dragging it back up to your clit. “You feel that? All for you.” After that, you let go of his wrist and let him feel for himself.

He timidly ran his finger through your slit like you’d done, then stopped at your entrance. His fingertip breached the opening, being met with little resistance. Inch by inch, little by little, he pushes his finger into you slowly. Pulling it out, pushing back in, he sets an inexperienced, slow pace. Jo was fascinated with watching his finger disappear inside you. “More. Another one, please.” You breathed out. He hadn’t even noticed any of the sounds you were making before. But he obliged and added a second finger beside his first one. The feeling was new to him, having you squeeze around his fingers each time he thrust them in. And every moan and shaky breath you let out was something he could get used to. “Oh, Jo, your fingers are so good. Doing so well.” Every praise sent a shock through his body, and in turn caused him to fuck his fingers into you just a little faster. Twisting his wrist, curling his fingertips—anything to get you to make those noises again.

Suddenly, your hand shoots down to grasp at his wrist. He freezes in shock, halting all movement. “Mm, don’t stop, please. Almost there.” With barely enough time to register the words that slipped past your lips, Jo watches as you begin to grind yourself on his fingers. Whines, whimpers, gasps, all noises floating through the air make him twitch, already getting hard again. You’re fully fucking yourself on his fingers now, taking charge and pushing yourself closer to orgasm. And when your thighs start to tremble and your hips jerk, Jo finally snaps out of his trance and begins to move his fingers. He curls them and drags them against your walls, feeling you clench down on them. His thumb brushes against the spot you showed him earlier, your clit, and starts rubbing gentle circles on it. Your hips jerked, stomach caving in with the pleasure. A few swears mixed with broken moans ripped through your throat at the added sensation, riding out your high until you lightly twitched with overwhelming sensitivity.

He pulled his fingers out of you, covered and soaked by your slick release. Staring, he’s a little uncertain of what to do now; does he wipe them off? What is he supposed to do now that they’re sticky and covered in you? Luckily, he didn’t have to think much before you sat up on weak arms to take his fingers into your mouth. Your tongue swipes up, down, and between his two fingers, licking him clean of any trace of arousal left behind. His mouth drops open in shock watching you, eyes following your every move closely. You hum around his fingers and pull off with a lewd pop sound. He couldn’t deny that he was hard again, mind racing with thoughts as you stare at him with eyes clouded by lust.

“Can-Can we…keep going?” He’s the one to ask this time. It was obvious that he was nervous from the shakiness in his voice, but you confidently nodded.

You rolled over to your side, stretching to reach your bedside table and pulling open the drawer on it. Reaching in, you fished around before pulling your hand back out with a shiny foil packet. “Have you ever put a condom on before?” He shook his head no and you beckoned him closer. Sitting up, you watch as he awkwardly shuffles his way to you, hard cock pathetically bobbing with each movement. “Watch me do it.”

With a firm grip, you held the base of his cock steady. You pinched the very end of the condom with one hand, and slowly started to roll it down his length with the other. It was a bit hard to do, but you managed to completely unroll it. The entire time, Jo’s eyes were trained on the work your hands were doing, trying to etch it into his memory for later use.

“It’s a bit tight.” He almost chokes on air at your words. “The condom, I mean. Does it feel alright? It doesn’t hurt, does it?” Jo looks at where you’re staring, and he sees the condom stretched tightly around his girth. He shakes his head no again, and you lay back, allowing him to continue.

He shuffles between your spread legs and tries to line himself up. When you realize that he’s just a little bit too shaky, you grab his wrist. “Jo. Are you sure you want to do this? You seem really nervous.”

He nods. You shake your head, urging him to use his words. “I’m…okay. I want to…do this. Please.”

“Okay. Okay. Take your time, babe.” You leaned back, relaxed. “There’s no rush.”

To Jo, it felt like an eternity before he was able to calm down enough to do anything. He was nervous, and excited. It was finally happening; he’d finally lose his virginity if he could just—. He presses his tip into you. The stretch was a lot, almost too much, but your slick wetness and the extra lubrication on the condom made the glide easier. Coupled with the fact that Jo was taking his time — he was pressing into you so slowly that if you couldn’t feel how he was stretching you out, you wouldn’t believe he was moving at all.

Jo braced himself on his hands beside your body. He slowly pushed his length into you until you couldn’t take any more. The two of you let out shaky breaths in unison, adjusting to the feeling. Of you being so full and of him being squeezed so tightly.

It was unlike any time he touched himself. For a while, he’d wrap his large fist around his equally long and thick cock, dreaming about this moment. He knew it would feel different. He just didn’t know it would feel this different. Having your gummy walls stretched and squeezing so tightly around him had his head spinning, and before he knew it, he was absentmindedly rutting his hips into you, trying to pathetically bury himself deeper inside you.

You gasped, grasping his shoulders, lightly digging your fingernails in. “Oh, Jo.” Small moans floated through the room. “You’re doing so good.”

He sits up on his knees to better drive his hips into yours, slightly jolting your body with every thrust. He, too, was letting out small noises of pleasure, trying to focus on what he was doing so it was pleasurable for both of you. But all of a sudden, he stops.

It took everything in you to not whine. Instead, you kept your composure. Maybe he didn’t want to continue anymore? This is a lot to take in, going from completely inexperienced to having your first everything in one night. You glided your hands down from his shoulders to his bicep, all the way down to his wrists to squeeze comfortingly. “Are you okay, Jo?”

He nods, shakes his head, then nods again. “I-Um. I’m…fine. It’s just,” you gently encourage him to speak. “I think…I think it broke.”

“The condom?” He nods. “Pull out. Pull out and let me see.” It took some urging, but he did eventually, hesitantly, pull out. And he was right — the condom had split and now had to be discarded. Jo had a pout on his face as he watched you gently pull off the ripped condom and toss it aside. He was fully prepared for you to tell him you can’t continue, and he accepted that. But you didn’t.

He lets out a confused noise. “We can keep going if you want.” You repeat. “Just let me know when you’re going to finish so you can pull out, okay?”

The feeling of being inside you without that extra barrier is so mind numbing that he almost doesn’t pull out. Almost.

[daisyvisions]

Drive Me Crazy - (j.hn)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: inexperienced boyfriend!Hakyneon x experienced afab!reader

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 1.5K

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), pwp (minimal plot) me thinks, car sex, mentions of fingering, dry humping, blowjobs, oral (f! receiving). Handjob, unprotected sex (with multiple creampies), lots of making out and kissing, a lot of curse words (sorry), pet names (sweetheart, baby), virginity loss

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: Original idea was loosely inspired by an actual experience I had (but took the liberty of making it smuttier hehe 😈) Dedicating this one to you @winterchimez / @midnightfantasiez. Proofread once.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet

“Fuck, are you sure about this?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything else in my life-”

You pant into his mouth as you take a breather from making out for god knows how long. It’s been over eight months since you and Haknyeon have officially started dating and safe to say, it was like you two were still in some wild honeymoon phase.

Every chance you found yourselves alone together, you two wasted no time being in each other’s arms and letting out all the pent up tension you had on one another. Sneaking off into storage closets to make out, held back moans as he fingered you in bathrooms, and now? Dry humping the hell out of each other at the back of his car.

And all you had to do was give him one look across the room of this birthday party and he knew what you wanted. It’s those damn eyes, he smirks to himself before subtly motioning you to meet him outside.

It must’ve been the alcohol and the way he looked tonight because all you were thinking about as soon as he picked you up was to get him alone and finally ride him into sunrise.

You hastily got off his lap and flipped your hair to the side, hands eagerly finding their way to his crotch and trying to unbuckle his belt as fast as you could.

You could practically feel yourself salivating seeing his hard on tenting beneath his jeans. As you’re about to unzip his pants, he holds your wrists and stops you from going any further.

“W-wait-” He stutters.

“Ugh, Hak… again?” You let out a frustrated sigh.

This wouldn’t be the first time he stopped you from touching him despite allowing him to freely touch any part of your body. At first, you thought he wanted to take things slow, especially after you confessed to him that you have never been in a slow-paced relationship.

Every guy you’ve been with always wanted to get in your pants immediately and not enjoy the subtle touches and slow kisses here and there of a new relationship. So when Haknyeon asked you to be his girlfriend he promised you that he would give that to you.

But you didn't know he would take the term “slow” that seriously.

Yes, a relationship shouldn’t just be based on the sexual aspect, you knew that. You would still love Haknyeon even if he turned into a small little worm. But you’re just a girl after all. A girl with needs. You were horny as hell… and fingers and pussy eating were not going to make you last long.

You wanted his dick and you wanted it now.

“I don’t understand-” You pull away from him. “Is it me? Am I too much for you? Am I not attractive enough?” You started to feel a slight pain in your chest on the latter thought.

“No! No. You’re practically a goddess-”

“Then why don’t you want me to touch you then?” You pout. “I’m sorry Hak, I know we wanted to take things slow-” You huff out air you’ve been keeping in your lungs. “But- it’s not fair.”

“Not fair? What do you mean?” He looks at you with worried eyes.

“You get to touch me but I don’t get to touch you! Is there something wrong?” You patiently wait for his answer as Haknyeon closes his eyes and lets out a big sigh.

“You might laugh at me…” He could feel his cheeks warming up by the second.

“I've… I’ve never done this before…” He glances at you quickly before looking back at his hands.

“What do you mean you’ve never done this before?” Your eyebrows raise.

“I’ve never had sex okay? There I said it!” He exclaims, widened eyes looking back at you, waiting for your reaction.

“But, I’ve given you head before-”

“Yeah and I nearly came within the first thirty seconds. Had to breathe in deeply and bite my lip so you wouldn’t notice at all.” He looks down at his hands again, feeling ashamed.

“You probably think I’m a loser right now-”

“Hak- look at me.” You cup his face in your hands, leaning in to give him a kiss.

“That doesn’t matter to me. I just want to be with you, to feel you-” You kiss him again, but this time slipping in your tongue as Haknyeon lets out a tiny whimper.

“Would you let me feel you?” You whisper into his mouth. He hesitates for a moment, but as soon as he looks deep into your eyes he let go of his fear.

“Fuck- Please do…” He grabs you by the waist and pulls you into his lap once again, kissing your lips before leaning down to suck the sensitive skin on your neck.

You moan at his plump lips leaving their marks on you as your hands traveling from the back of his neck all the way down to finally unzip his jeans, freeing his aching cock from its confinements.

He suddenly stops kissing your neck and pulls away as you palm his erection, almost grabbing your wrists again out of impulse but you bring your hand to his cheek and caress him with your thumb.

“Shh It’s okay. Let me take care of you.” You slide your hand down his boxers, pulling out his member as you wrap your fingers around the warm skin.

Haknyeon hisses in pleasure, trying not to burst any second from how you’re slowly jerking him off. You smear his oozing precum around his length, gradually increasing the speed of your wrists as you kiss his neck.

“F-feels so good-” Haknyeon moans against your ear.

“Yeah? You think you can handle more?” you mumble against his neck.

“Please- I don’t think I’m gonna last long if you keep this up.” He feels you smirk against his skin as you stop your hand from fisting his length.

You lift your hips up and adjust your position as you pull your panties to the side, rubbing the tip of his cock against your folds before aligning it to your wet entrance and slowly sinking down.

“Fuck fuck fuck- wait a second.” Haknyeon whines out.

“What’s wrong?” You bite your lower lip, trying to hide your amusement at how he’s reacting.

“You’re really wet.” He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply.

“Well… that’s what you do to me.” You lean in to whisper in his ear.

Without warning you start to roll your hips, He deep groan comes out of his mouth as he tightens his grip on your waist.

“Oh that’s it, holy shit…” He moans as he guides your hips, “C’mere-”

He kisses you with much fervor as he gradually pulls your hips faster until you’re practically bouncing on his cock. You whimper against his mouth as you feel his thick length dragging within your velvety walls, finally feeling full inside because of him.

“Sweetheart t-think I’m gonna cu-oh!” His member twitches inside you.

��Give it to me baby, inside!” You try to bounce faster but Haknyeon suddenly wraps his arms around your waist, thrusting up quickly inside you like an animal in heat.

You feel a gush of warm fluid exploding inside you as he lets out grunting sounds. You think he’d stop at this point but he just keeps on thrusting into you, feeling his cum spilling out while the tip of his cock nudges that sweet spot deep within.

“Gonna- ah!” You shout, feeling your walls tighten as Haknyeon doesn't stop fucking up into you.

“C’mon, cum on me sweetheart. Can practically feel your walls choking my dick.” He groans into your mouth.

“Oh fuck, think I’m gonna cum again-”

“Cum with me Hak, please!” As soon as you utter those last words, he’s bursting inside of you once again. His load just as heavy as the last. You also reach your high at the same time, feeling yourself gush onto his member while seeing stars. You’re both moaning and panting into each other’s mouths. Kissing each other as if it was your only source of oxygen.

As you’re about to get off of him, he holds your hips down.

“C-can we uh… go again?” He shyly asks.

“You mean now?!” You gasp at the feeling of his member still hard and twitching inside you.

“Yeah…” You could practically see his cheeks turning red from asking. You let out a chuckle before kissing his forehead.

“Just, give me a moment okay?” You rest your head on his shoulder, keeping his cock plugged inside you til you’re ready to go again.

And boy, did you two go at it for hours and hours til the sun started to rise.

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone (Part 1)

Pairing: Jim Hopper x fem!reader, Hopper POV

Summary: Reader is a secretary at the Hawkin's Sheriff's Department and Jim Hopper drives her to and from work everyday. Hopper gets worried when reader does not come out of her home, and when he finds out she is sick, he decides to take care of her. Set before the events of Season One of Stranger Things

Tropes: Jim Hopper x sick reader, mutual pining, angst, fluff, grump x sunshine, age gap (reader is fresh out of college).

Warnings: No Smut, mostly fluff, self-deprecating talk, indecisiveness, maybe some occasional cursing, Hopper is a little OOC, maybe one or two references to sex, but not explicit and only if you squint.

Word Count: 4.8k (I'm so sorry- but not really because it's great)

There is a minimal use of (y/n). Any references to the reader besides the (y/n) is done using "your" or "you."

Internal monologue is in italics.

Honestly this is my first fanfiction ever, it's kinda self-indulgent, I tried to proofread the best I could, but please BE GENTLE. If you don't like, don't read, if you do like it, you're my favorite.

ENJOY!

Main Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

*********************************************************

Hopper's truck idles in your driveway behind the ancient sea-foam green station wagon, and has been idling for the past 10 minutes. He is starting to get worried. You always come out to his car immediately when he pulls in the driveway. Probably, he suspects, because you don’t want to keep him waiting, but what you don’t  know is that he would be willing to wait forever just to see you.

Hopper taps his fingers on the steering wheel while inhaling smoke from the cigarette perched between his lips as worry pricks at his chest.

Where is she? Hopper thinks to himself.

His eyes skate over the windows and peeling white sills  of the modest home looking for signs of forced entry, but the house looks relatively quiet. He can’t decide if that is worse.

All of a sudden a frizzy haired, freckled girl wearing a nurse's uniform comes tearing out of the house with a large colorful bag thrown over her shoulder. She rips open the door of the station wagon in the driveway, but then raises her gaze to glare at Hopper's car, before running to his driver’s side window.

"Hi can you possibly move out of the driveway. I'm so late for my shift-" She declares out of breath while glancing down once at the plain watch on her wrist.

Hopper studies her for a minute things not quite connecting. Marcie.  He decides. You had mentioned your roommate in passing, but this was the first time that he had officially spoken to her or seen her.

"Um- sure. I'm just waiting for y/n-"

"She's not going to work today, she's got a cold." The girl waves her hand dismissively. "Sorry you must be Hopper. I'm Marcie and I'm so late, please." Marcie's eyes widen with her plea.

"Yeah sure." Hopper puts his car in reverse to clear the driveway allowing Marcie to squeal past him. Hopper momentarily smiles at her bravery for whipping out of the driveway so quickly when the chief of police is directly behind her, but then his thoughts turn back to you.

He idles in the street for a second, contemplating the situation.

I should just go to work, I should just drive away and sit at my desk and shuffle papers around- He thinks, but then he reconsiders. What if y/n needs something? Her roommate just left her there, I'm not even sure she locked the door. He raises his gaze once more to skate over the empty windows as if hoping that you will appear.

But when you don’t  Hopper sighs in defeat, pulls into the driveway, and turns off the engine. He pauses again with his hand on the key where it still sits in the ignition. His thumb taps anxiously against the wheel.

You're not her boyfriend, you're her boss. Hopper takes in a lungful of smoke, watching the house once more. But a boss can check on his employees, maybe she hadn't been able to call Flo to tell her she wasn't going to be at work so I should just check in on her, because I’m really helping Flo. Hopper reasons.

He gets out of the car, before pausing with his hand on the door. What are you doing? This is definitely overstepping. The intrusive thoughts are back to prick behind his furrowed eyebrows.

The truth was he has tried to keep his distance, but now he has begun to realize how much he relies on driving you to work everyday. How much he relies on those few moments in the car before he is twisted and pulled away to his office. But then you would be there after, waiting at your desk for him to drive you home. And the look on your face every time was enough to erase the tedium of the day.

Jim eyes the front door to check if you are coming out once more.

He always felt better when you’d  practically skip out of front door wearing those cute oversized sweaters and long skirts, with your hair billowing behind you in perfect curls. You would always smile at him as you walked to the car, before shyly ducking your head with flushed cheeks. And then after the shift, he always made sure that he didn't stay too late because staying late meant that you would have to wait for him. And because you were too embarrassed and polite to tell him that you were ready to leave, you would read at your desk quietly.

As cute as you looked leaning back in your desk chair utterly consumed with whatever the novel of the day is, because Hopper noticed you must be the fastest reader in the world given how many different books he'd seen you with, Hopper hated those days. Hopper hated those days because Callahan would loiter by your desk after his shift and make you laugh so loudly that it made the symphony of your voice drift into Hopper's office, quickly turning something that made his own heart jump and buckle in his chest into a consuming fire.

His hand tightens on the door frame of the car.

He hated watching Callahan ease over to your desk so carefree at the end of the night, taking the time to talk to you, flirt with you even.  Callahan who didn’t have to worry about the age difference or what everyone would say if he went out with you or spent the night with you. Callahan who was younger and carefree, maybe even a perfect match to your sunshine. Jealousy burned through his entire body when he thought of Callahan taking you out to dinner, having his hand in yours as you walk to the movies, sitting side by side in a booth at a restaurant, and even after the date when Callahan would walk you to your door and you would invite him in. His jaw clenches at the thought of you with Callahan alone in your house, your room, your bed-

He thinks about getting back in the car again, turning away, and leaving.

Hopper knew that it wasn't fair. He shouldn't feel jealous, shouldn't feel the need to control your life, because it was your life, and he didn't want to ruin it. He didn't want to intrude. You were so young, so full of life, innocent, that he knew he would ruin you in the worst way. He was just an old grump, so far from your sunshine he might as well be hibernating in a cave.

But oh how he wished he could. Oh how he wished he could bask in your sunshine all the time, letting the soothing rays from your smile fill him with peace.

Hopper lay awake at night thinking of you, wishing that you had met when he was a little younger, a little less- well- Hopper. He dreamed of what it would be like to tell you and have you return the sentiment with one of those smiles that sometimes he imagined were only for him.

Hopper looked back up at the house. The thought that you were alone inside and sick, made him close the door of his car, flick away the cigarette, and tramp through the overgrown lawn. Hopper made a mental note to ask you why it wasn't cut and then tossed it away.

Boundaries mean that I’m not going to come mow her lawn one day.

He knocks once. "(y/n)?" He calls, but hears nothing. "(y/n)?" He says a little louder, knocking a few more times.

Hopper was hesitant to shout. What if you had a headache?

His hand closes on the handle and turns, it is open. He sighs in exasperation. What was Marcie thinking leaving it unlocked? Doesn’t she watch the news? There could be any number of psychos lying in wait, watching the house! Then before he can stop himself he thinks: Yeah. Like you.

The inside of the home is tidy, but lived in. The living room has a collection of threadbare chairs and a patchy colored fabric couch covered in what looked like a handmade blanket. Hopper wonders if you made it, remembering last Christmas when you made a hand-crocheted tote bag for Flo. Because that’s the kind of person you were. You gave so much of yourself out to other people, cared for them, and he believed that he was so different from you.

There’s a coffee table with several rings in front of the couch where he places his hat, tracing the circles on the wood with a fingertip.

The smell of coffee pours from the kitchen and splashes against Hopper’s nose, but he continues down the darkened hallway that leads deeper into your home.

"(Y/n)?" He says again, louder, but there is no answer. "(Y/n)?"

The last thing he wants to do is stumble into your room while you are changing and scare you to death. The thought of seeing you naked causes a pink hue to travel into his cheeks.

A low groan sounds from the hall bathroom and makes Hopper’s chest clench in worry. "(Y/n)?" He turns towards the bathroom. The lights are off inside and the door is just barely cracked. Hopper pushes open the door and flips on the switch to the right against the white tile wall.

At first he's confused, because the low groan sounds again, and then he looks down.

You’re laying under a thick blanket, curled into a small ball, halfway between the toilet and the bathtub. Your cheeks are flushed with fever, eyes closed, breath coming in shallow gasps.

"(Y/n)!" Hopper gasps dropping to his knees. "(Y/n) are you okay?" Worry tightens its cold grip around his throat.

How could your roommate leave you like this?

"Hop?" You breathe, opening up one red eye. "Hey." Your voice is no more than a raspy croak. "What are you doing here?” Each word sounds like its too much effort to finish. In fact you close your eye and shy away from the bright bathroom light that Hopper flipped on when he entered the room.

“I came to pick you up. Marcie said you had a cold.” His eyes skate over you. “The door was unlocked.” Hopper felt the need to add that last part, trying to find rationalization for why he’s here instead of telling you that he came in because he was scared.

“Sorry. She called the office-“ You begin to cough violently into the blanket, curling further into a ball.

"Shh it's okay." His hand comes down to your hair, pushing it back from where it sticks to your skin. "Are you alright?" Your forehead burns against his hand.

"Not really." You croak. "I didn’t mean to fall asleep here, but it was easier than going back and forth."

"It's alright." Hopper gently places his arms under your knees, sweeping you up against his chest in one quick move.

You sigh and turn your head into him, while your hand grips the front of his jacket that is still chilled from the wind outside with a shiver. The cold is welcome against your feverishly hot skin.

You cuddle into his jacket away from the offensive light above, making warmth radiate through Hopper's body.

"Which room?" He asks.

"Across the hall." You mutter into his shirt with another sigh.

Hopper hopes that you can't feel his heart stuttering around in his chest like a bee trying to get out of a plastic cup. He's trying not to think about how natural this feels, how wonderful it feels to hold you close and have you curled up against him. He rationalizes that your fever is probably so high that you don't realize what you’re doing, that any other time you wouldn’t dare burrow into him like this. But he can't help but imagine what it would be like for you to want him to hold you like this.

Your room is tidy, but still a little messy. Hopper smiles at the cluttered desk and stacks of paperbacks, memorizing the titles and making mental notes of those that are more worn than others, promising himself that he'll read every one if they are your favorite.

He is always on the lookout for ways to start conversations with you and Hopper figures that the war themed paperbacks he has back at home are a bit out of your comfort zone given the titles of the books on the desk.

Hopper places you down on the bed, quickly pulling the covers over you. He tries not to notice what you was wearing before, he had only ever seen you in long skirts or long pairs of pants, but now you were only wearing an oversized t-shirt that barely reached mid-thigh and a pair of bright blue underwear. He ignores it, feeling the warmth of you skin beneath his palm.

"What can I do?" Hopper kneels next to the bed so you doesn’t have to look up at him.

"I'm okay, just sleepy." You whisper, cuddling into the patchwork quilt with another uncontrollable shiver.

"Okay." He brushes your hair back again before he can stop himself, enchanted by the way it feels against his hand. "I'll be right back okay?" Hopper breathes.

"Please don’t go.” You mutter moving into his touch, turning your entire body towards where he hovers just on the edge of your bed.

Hopper freezes. She didn’t mean that, she’s just sick, doesn’t know what she’s saying. He rationalizes eyes skating your figure again. He’s never seen you look so small.

When you were well, sometimes Hopper believed that you were the embodiment of the sun on earth, filled with light and warmth. Noting that your bright personality just exploded out of you constantly, but now seeing you so dim… it scares him.

“I promise I’ll be right back.” Hopper says again.

“Hmm.” You whisper as you begin to succumb to the exhaustion of the fever.

He backs out of the room, watching your sleeping figure one more time before he springs into action. Hopper walks to the bright yellow phone hanging in the wall in the kitchen and dials the station.

"Hey Flo it's the chief, how are things this morning?" He breezes looking through the kitchen cabinets and refrigerator. Hopper frowns at the dismal array of canned vegetables and moldy fruit in the ice box, but pours himself a cup of coffee.

"Hey chief. Pretty slow. Callahan went out on a call to get Mrs. Morris' cat out of a tree, but other than that it's been quiet. I meant to tell you that (y/n's) roommate called and said that (y/n) won't be in because she's not feeling too well this morning. Tried to call you before you left, but I figured I'd see you when you got in." Flo pauses. "Where are you anyway?"

"Um- something came up. Look I might not be in for a few hours. Do you think you can manage to keep things quiet?" He shifts uncomfortably. Hopper wasn't keen on everyone knowing that he was with you.

What would they say if he was here? He was aware of what the rest of the people in town said about him, but he didn't want them to say things like that about you. You deserved better.

"Sure chief."

"Alright thanks. I'll see you in a bit." He hangs up the phone standing in the kitchen for a minute while he finishes the coffee in the faded green mug. Hopper considers what he has to do, but he doesn't like it. The thought of leaving you again makes his heart twist in his chest, especially knowing how sick you are.

Not sick enough to stop smiling at him. The thought is welcome amongst the continuous admonishing from the guilt of him being there.

Hopper walks back towards your room peering in through the open door to check over your sleeping figure. Deep down he knows that he shouldn't be here, that he should just leave, but he can't. He can’t leave you when you can barely lift your head to look at him.

The phone rings on your nightstand, and as you stir, Hopper reaches for the receiver to stop the call and breaks his only rule.

"Hello?"

"Um. Hi. Who is this?" The voice on the other line is definitely a woman, decidedly older.

"Jim Hopper. Who is this?"

"This is (y/n’s) mother.”

Oh shit.

"Um hi Mrs. (y/l/n)-" Hopper's eyes go to yours which have widened in surprise.

But before he can respond any further you reach out and take the phone from Hopper’s hand.

“Hi mom." You croak. "Can I call you back?"

Hopper watches you with wide eyes as you wait a second to listen to your mother. He can only imagine what she's asking you.

 "No mom, he's not my boyfriend he's my boss." Your voice rasps. Hopper's heart stutters once in his chest when you answer her.

"He's here to check on me." You try to raise your voice again, but it comes out more like a harsh whisper.

You pause.

"No I'm not sleeping with my boss mom." Your face flushes as bright red as Hopper's does. He immediately stands from the bed, realizing that he was sitting on the edge and was about to touch you again subconsciously.

"Please can I call you back. I'm really not feeling well." You sigh laying back down as if sitting up is too much work.

Hopper's brows furrow with worry once more, wishing that he hadn't answered the phone. Because even if he was ever going to date you, which he wasn't, he didn't want your mother to hate him.

"Yes I'll make the soup. I love you. Okay. Bye." You hold out the phone trying to place it on the receiver, but Hopper takes it from you. "I'm sorry." You mutter laying back down in the bed with a sigh.

"It's okay." Hopper's still bright red. "I understand."

You sigh. "She's been so worried since I moved away."  You turn to cough into the blanket.

"Try not to talk." Hopper smiles. "You know, I think you talk more when you're sick."

You wheeze out a laugh. "Shut up."

"And you're definitely meaner."

You snort so hard that you begin to cough and Hopper feels bad for making you laugh, but when it's over you smile so wide at him any regret vanishes. That was why he liked you so much, because every time you smiled at him, you filled him with the warmth and brightness that you shone with every day.

He presses the back of his hand against your forehead to check your temperature. "Are you going to be okay if I leave for a bit?"

"Yeah." Your eyes are closed now, leaning into his hand. Hopper ignores how you lean into him and again tells himself it is only due to your current state.

"I promise I'll be right back."

"You don't have to-" You breathe in a low rasp.

"I'm not going to leave you like this alone." Hopper responds. "I'm just gonna run to the store-"

"You don't have to-"

"I want to." Hopper clears his throat. "Try not to die."

"I'll try my best."

*********************************************************Hopper can remember the last time he made chicken noodle soup clearly. Sara had a cold, it was before she was diagnosed and was starting to get sick more frequently. Hopper had stayed home from work with her while Diane went out and he made the chicken noodle soup recipe his grandmother had used to make him when he was sick.

As he stirs the pot on the stove the smell brings back all the memories that usually make his heart clench in his chest, but now standing here in your small kitchen, the memories are softer.

The trip to the grocery store had been quick as he practically ran up and down the aisles strategically to find everything he needed, anxious to get back to you. Hopper had stolen the house keys out of you purse to make sure that he could lock the door, rationalizing that you wouldn't need them and he'd be damned if he left the door unlocked with you being as defenseless as you were right now.

Hopper walks back towards your room. You are curled up in a ball under the covers again, looking more small and cute that he wants to acknowledge. "(y/n)." He whispers.

"Hmm." You sigh and turn to look at him. Your cheeks aren't as flushed as before, which means the Advil Hopper made you take must have brought down your fever.

"I made you some soup. I think you should eat something." He says gently.

The smile you give him, warms his heart and makes the cold muscle in his chest flutter and stutter.

"You didn't have to."  You croak.

"I wanted to." He shifts his feet unsure. "Do you need help- or- um?" It wasn't that he didn't want to carry you, the memory of how it felt to carry you was fresh in his mind. It was that he wanted to make sure that it was okay for him to touch you again

"Please." Your cheeks flush all over again as he picks you up and carries you out to the kitchen table, sitting you up in a chair before draping the homemade blanket around your shoulders to cover your shivering body. 

He quickly moves to the stove dipping out a portion of soup into one of the flowery bowls from the cabinet before placing it in front of you.

You smile into the steam, letting the heat open up your lungs. "Thank you."

Hopper sits across from you at the kitchen table watching you eat it slowly, another mug full of coffee sitting in front of him on one of the cheerful flower printed placemats. He still can't bring himself to leave because he's worried about what would happen if he left. You could barely walk to the bathroom without help- maybe you might even need to go to the hospital.

The thought of taking you to the hospital filled him with dread, a whole slew of memories there that he didn't want to relive.

"This is really good." You smile at him from across the table. Your voice is less hoarse than it was a few moments ago, but still barely audible. "You didn't have to make soup. I could have ordered some from Sullivan's on the corner."  You cough violently into a napkin before blowing your nose again.

"It's okay. I just wanted to make sure that you were-" He stops unsure if he should continue. "Well if you were okay."

"Oh. Well it's very nice of you. I'm sorry that Marcie didn't call."

"I'm not." Hopper responds before he can stop himself. "I'm glad that I came by." His cheeks flush with his confession.

"I am too." Your cheeks are as red as his before you duck down to look back at your soup. "Though I don't want you to get sick too."

Hopper shrugs. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

He watches you finish up the rest of the soup. She's beautiful even when she's like this. Hopper looks at your face, noting you red cheeks and nose. Even covered in snot and flushed with fever, she's absolutely beautiful.

"Did you want to go back to bed?" Hopper asks when you take the last bite of chicken noodle soup.

"No I think I'll lay on the couch for a bit-"

He immediately moves to pick you up from the wooden chair and helps you over to the threadbare couch, laying the blanket over you before he can focus too much on your uncovered legs. "Thank you."

"Yeah-" His voice has deepened a bit, trying not to dwell on how wonderful it felt to have you in his arms again.

"There should be some tapes in those cabinets.” You gesture to the cabinets under the tv in the corner. “Did you want to stay and watch a movie?” You immediately freeze. You hadn’t meant to ask it, but here he was taking care of you making sure you were okay. You didn’t want him to go, despite his constant internal monologue convincing him otherwise. “Or if you have to go back to work that’s fine.” You back track.

“Um- well.” Hopper considers leaving again. He thinks that he’s overstated his welcome, knows that he is doing more than he should especially more than a boss would do for his employee. His eyes skate over your small figure curled up under the blanket. “I don’t think it would hurt to watch a movie. I think that Flo can manage the department for a few hours without me.”

You try to hide your excitement as he picks out one of the tapes and pops it into the VCR.

Now came the ultimate question: where should he sit? Regularly when Hopper was trying to woo someone he would sit next to them, throw his arm across their shoulders so they would lean into him- but he didn’t want to do that to you… well, he knew he SHOULDN’T want to do that to you. So he forced himself into the lazy boy arm chair that sat about 7 inches from where you were laying your head on the couch as the movie began.  You bunch up one of the couch cushions under you head, trying to prop yourself up as the movie began. Hopper reached over before he could stop himself and helped you adjust the pillow.

Your eyes meet his as a small smile graces your lips. He holds your gaze, trying to gauge how you feel about him- tries to read your mind to see if you wish that he'd just leave, that this is weird and he needs to go.

But there's nothing. He forces himself to look away from your gaze and back towards the tv trying to stop the warm feeling that rises in his chest.

Don't do this to yourself. She's just being nice because you made her soup, asking you to stay means nothing.

Within a few moments you were asleep again and that meant that Hopper didn’t have to feel bad about glancing over at you occasionally. His fingertips itch to push back the hair that's fallen into your face, but instead he puts them on the arms of the chair, relaxing back.

And within moments, Hopper falls asleep.

He wakes up when Marcie kicks open the front door at 8 pm after her shift, practically falling into the living room in her haste. Hopper jumps up from the chair startled.

"Oh hi." Marcie does a double take. "I didn't know you were going to stay here."

"No I wasn't-" Hopper clears his throat awkwardly. "I just-"

"He came to check on me Mar." You croak sitting up. "It's okay."

"Oh well." Marcie eyes him up and down. "I'm just gonna take a shower." Marcie continues to frown. "And I keep my pepper spray in there-"

"Marcie!" You exclaim as loud as you can without hurting your voice, but she doesn't look sorry.

Hopper nods awkwardly as she saunters from the room, his cheeks flushing bright red. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but the rhythmic sound of your breathing had lulled him into a deeper sleep than he was accustomed to. In fact he couldn't remember a time recently in which he had slept so soundly.

"Well I guess I should go." He rubs the back of his neck.

"Yeah. I'm sorry she's just always in a hurry and she doesn't have a filter." You sigh, hearing the shower begin to run. "It takes a bit to get used to her."

Hopper notices that your voice sounds less hoarse than it did when you fell asleep.

"It's okay." He waits another beat, because despite Marcie's sudden intrusion, he wishes that he could stay- but he knows better. "I'll give you a call tomorrow, see if you need a ride to work."

"Yeah I hope I'll feel a bit better." You begin to rise from the couch, but stumble forward and Hopper catches you against his chest in an awkward hug.

"You've got to be more careful." He breathes into the top of your head, holding you tightly against him.

"Hmm." You sigh, holding on to him just as tight. "Thank you Jim."

Hopper freezes. It's the first time you've ever said his first name, and it makes something inside his chest break open. It sounds so perfect coming from your lips that he wishes you would say it again. "You're welcome (y/n)."

Your arms are wrapped around him in a full hug by now, nuzzling your face into his chest- but just like that Hopper snaps out of it.

She doesn't want you, she's just being friendly, like (y/n) is all the time. Plus she's sick today, not thinking straight. The thought makes him sober up.

Hopper extricates your arms from around him rather abruptly, leaving your head reeling, and helps you back onto the couch. "Well goodnight."

"Goodnight." You smile, but it's tight lipped and for good reason. You have no idea what you did to make him suddenly so cold.

And the entire ride home from y/n's house, Hopper refuses to believe you were disappointed when he left.

*********************************************************

Thank you so much for reading!

Part 2