#once again: grow the fuck up
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imma be real with you...being a latchkey kid was the highlight of my 90s childhood. video rentals after school, maybe riding bikes around the neighborhood park, inviting schoolmates or neighbor kids over to play videogames until the parents came home and the streetlights went on. was it lonely? occasionally, but it was never THAT BAD™️ to the point of leaving me moping in a corner. hate to sound like a boomer...but kids today are soft.
Like, the thing is, I'm not a millennial, but I'm definitely on the older side of Gen Z by being born in early 1999, and this trend of "latchkey kid" stuff is BAFFLING to me. Like, parentification and child neglect are real things, with real and negative impacts on the children involved, but that's not what people are talking about half the time; they're literally just talking about being left alone on occasion. And it feels like a lot of it comes from two places: 1) from people who didn't actually have two parents who worked and so view the idea that sometimes kids are left alone or with babysitters as akin to child abuse (I made mention of this with one of my complaint about Tim Drake fans wanting his parents to be abusive because they went on business trips for work, y'all clearly had stay at home parents because otherwise that concept would not be shocking) or 2) from people who, I'm sorry, want to feel more put upon than they actually were either because they want to be more interesting or because they feel aggrieved and are grasping for a legitimate reason for it. Maybe I'm mean and crochety but you were not, in fact, criminally treated because sometimes your parents weren't around. My dad went on months long business trips for work when I was a kid, he missed multiple birthdays of mine, my parents both working meant that a lot of times during summers my sister and I were put under the care of babysitters until I was twelve and deemed old enough to be in charge and we were thus left alone. And that was occasionally an issue, because it wasn't nice to have a parent miss a birthday or sometimes the babysitter was definitely not a right fit (we still make jokes about a sitter my sister absolutely hated) or situations arose where an adult was needed (like my sister locking herself in our bathroom by accident, where the lack of readily available adults meant I ended up calling 911 about it, it's a story my parents love me to tell and did result in some rule changes in our house regarding when doors are allowed to be locked and when you should be calling emergency services vs just leaving a message for mom). But it didn't mentally scar me or make me feel abused. The only material consequence it left me with was that by high school I was coming home first cuz my school was within walking distance from my house and therefore I was the first one returning to our dog who had been bereft of human companionship for the day and it made me his favorite for a time.
I also feel like a lot of this also comes from a recent need to pathologize everything. It's something I've noticed with that fucking eldest daughter shit people do, where there's a legitimate idea at the root of it (ie that the eldest child does have to put up with more stuff than younger siblings and if that child is a daughter that gets compounded with societal misogyny and the expectations placed on women and girls and their roles) then balloons outward into this thing where every eldest daughter on the planet has suddenly suffered more than Jesus. And again, as an Eldest Daughter, I am intimately aware of how my being the first born influenced my upbringing; I was far more harshly treated than my sister because my parents didn't know while raising me what was normal behavior for my age vs what was behavior that was unacceptable, whereas they had a baseline for when she reached similar milestones. But it's not something that's left me rocking back and forth and in need of psychiatric care, any more than being left alone did. And with latchkey kid stuff, it's doubly stupid because it really feels like it comes from a position of privilege. Most families need dual income, most families need both parents to be working, and as such that means that sometimes most families are going to need to rely on childcare or, eventually, leaving the kid in charge of themselves for some afternoons. And most kids understand that, the reason I find this shit stupid is because I'm aware of the fact that my parents not being around sometimes was due to the fact that they were doing their jobs, so that we could all live, because that's how the world works especially when you have children and are thus responsible for them as well as yourself. But now everything needs to be some Big Deep Issue, so the fact that a two parent household will involve two parents who either need to work or honestly want to work (don't think I'm not missing that a lot of this stuff completely ignores that mothers should be entirely able to return to the workforce and have their own independent lives outside of being wives and mothers, cuz I see it) is now a harmful thing to do to one's children. Completely ignoring, of course, the lived experience of people over the age of 20 who were "latchkey kids" and were completely fine with it, or even view those early moments of freedom as fundamental happy memories and part of their journey into becoming their own person.
#personal#answered#anonymous#like not to sound like a grandma when i am literally twenty five but like#fucking kids these days man#no it's not actually child abandonment if both your parents had jobs and sometimes you were home alone#once again: grow the fuck up#i'd accept this behavior from like middle schoolers but no more#this and eldest daughter shit and fucking gifted kid shit is gonna turn me into a rude person real quick if i weren't normal
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swk fuckspawn ocs
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ft. a freshly born qi xiaotian
#jttw oc#journey to the west#lego monkie kid#jttw sun wukong#lmk sun wukong#lmk xiaotian#lmk mk#they’re not too important I figure they’re just like soldiers or captains in the demon monkey army#I do wanna think as far as fighting styles go#tomato grows six arms all wielding blades and turnip’s tail splits off into poisoned stinger whips#not too strong but not weak enough to be mistaken as regular demon monkeys#they don’t have names lol none of my ocs do#tho I would like to name them something along the lines of shooting star and frozen lake#for now they are tomato and turnip <3#guys just found out that xiaotian means little heaven and now I’m cryin in the club#😭#you can just TELL that his family loves him from that name#digital art#my art#original character#oc art#I am once again thinking of how much this monkey fucks#hence the spawn#he probably has so many…#also found out some of his canonical kids names so can’t wait to look them up later#can’t decide whether to make these guys twins or half brothers
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this came to me in a vision
#i was listening to the sarazamai soundtrack and was thinking about how it and bishounen tanteidan end in almost the exact same way#these are like the quintessential animes about growing up to me#growing up is fucking weird man#as always if you havent seen any please go watch#bishounen tanteidan especially i feel like isnt talked about enough its so good#well i actually wouldnt say its on the same level of good as sarazanmai and tsuritama but its still a fave#also once again sorry the pic is so blurry idk why#tumblr hates beautiful animes#one time in class i said i like making venn diagrams and honey i was not lying#sarazanmai#bishounen tanteidan#pretty boy detective club#tsuritama
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I need to watch Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure to reach my final conclusion on if she's even attracted to men
#girl help i keep thinking about sharpay and ryan being each others only friend growing up#theyre not very good at interpersonal relationships#romance is foreign to them. they dont care about playing romantic interests because they only view romance through the lens of theatre#fake. not real. an act to entertain an audience. so they dont understand why it would be weird#neither of them have ever kissed anyone#sharpay likes things that make her look better#because her whole life is a performance#so she wants troy because hes a shiny accessory to her#thinking about hsm 2 where once again when she tries to perform a romantic song (with troy this time and not her brother)#she still barely fucking looks at him#all of her attention is on the (nonexistent) audience#and ryan. ryan hm#ryan usually performs alongside sharpay#its usually an in universe performance. theyre on a stage. theres an audience#and all of his attention is on pleasing that audience#an exception to this is during the gay baseball song#where theres a different kind of audience BUT#ryan barely looks at them#most of his attention is directed solely to chad#talking flirting teasing being cocky and annoying but clearly addressing him directly through most of the song#first time this has happened with ryan. take that as you will#ANYWAY i can see sharpay as completely uninterested in romance but she hasnt realized that about herself#and she THINKS she wants it. because she sees it as glamorous#or maybe shes a lesbian i dont know#she might be a lesbian#the deciding factor is sharpays fabulous adventure#if she has chemistry with the guy in that movie then shes just repressed and clueless#if she doesnt shes aro#or possibly lesbian
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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On Abigail and Shawn's Relationship (Psych)
~By someone who's only halfway through Psych~
I actually really liked Abigail and her place in Psych. She's obviously a tie to Shawn's past, but I think she plays an important part beyond just being an obstacle for Shules. For one thing, she feels like a fleshed out character. She has a personality, and while it feels like it's meant to bounce off Shawn's, very similar humor-wise imo, it still very much feels like her own; she has her own ambitions and her own life outside of Shawn and Psych. She likes people, she believes in education, she's a teacher, these are all aspects of her that come out in her time on the show (trying to fix Henry and Shawn's relationship (which I address a lil in the tags), otherwise respecting Shawn's distance, going to her teacher conference instead of the skiing trip, leaving for Uganda for an opportunity she's wanted for six years). She's also still clearly affected by the fact that Shawn had stood her up way back in high school, and this connection is what makes her such an important character for Shawn's development, imo.
Abigail is her own person, but she also serves as a waypoint for Shawn. He gets to fix his mistake of standing her up, and he also learns how to function in a long-term relationship. While admittedly having the relationship start with a "Gus, I can totally do it, watch this" isn't the best, it's reasonable for his character and serves as a wonderful beginning point for his maturation arc. Throughout the relationship, Gus (and company) helps Shawn navigate the differences between a fling and a long-term relationship. He starts to mature and understand that he has to check in with Abigail, he has to make dates and stick with them, he has to have mature conversations with her, he has to respect her time, etc.
Furthermore, it also helps Abigail get over said past mistake. She gets to take her relationship with Shawn one step further, feel it out, see how it would have gone, as Shawn progresses from child-like understanding of relationships to a more mature, grown-up perspective. His repeated showing up, starting from the moment he turned down Juliet in the drive-in because he had a standing date with Abigail (even though he was in love with Juliet at the time; honestly one of the biggest bullets dodged in the show; I have never seen a situation handled so neatly. There was no two-timing, no lying (well, minor lying to Abigail, ig), and they really tried to reinforce their platonic relationship instead of ignoring a possible wedge between them. It was so... refreshing.) I would bargain actually heals something in Abigail, showing her that Shawn is willing to step up as well as that Abigail is someone worth showing up for. It isn't as clear an arc for her, but I'd wager it's there, at least in the background, which is what makes their relationship so interesting.
In the end, the relationship works as a waypoint for the both of them. Shawn learns what it means to be in a long-term relationship, preparing him for a future with Juliet. In return, Abigail has a chapter of her life closed on a high note and is able to move on with her life without the what-ifs and emotional burdens of her past.
#I started writing this half-way through season 4 after Abigail left for Uganda#gonna go back and look at it once I finish (the show or their relationship I'm not sure) (edit: I have looked after s4; I think it's good??#maybe this was on my mind because a friend of mine just recently got out of a long relationship#and I was helping rationalize by saying that the relationship served as a waypoint for the both of them#a sort of growth period and now they have to grow separately#and the psych relationships. were just??#like I love Shawn and Juliet so much don't get me wrong. but??? as far as “we're pushing off this ship so anyway have another ship” ships g#ABIGAIL AND SHAWN ACTUALLY WORKED SO WELLL???#like I know I just literally wrote an essay on why#BUT IT WAS SO REFRESHING???#I liked Abigail?? I thought she was great?? She didn't have any crap with Juliet or anyone else either which was fantastic???#AND SHAWN TURNING DOWN JULIET IN THE DRIVE IN#like devastating obviously but#OH MY GOSH ANY OTHER SHOW AND IT WOULD HAVE CAUSED SUCH MASSIVE PROBLEMS#either shawn and juliet would've gotten together on the side and it would've been a whole thing or abigail would've gotten her heart broken#again (either bc she was stood up again or bc she was being cheated on) or it would've been some weird wedge btwn shawn and jules too long#BUT IT WASN'T!?!?! Shawn told her that it was literally bad timing (that's it) and Juliet took it so well and then Abigail got her date and#yeah part of me believes that Shawn should have politely let her go after the drive-in date#but even so they're relationship was so healthy and wholesome??? like?? if not Shules then Shawn/Abigail FOR SURE!!!!#gosh I fuck with this show SO. HARD.#psych 2006#shawn spencer#abigail lytar#juliet ohara#shawn and gus#shabby#I think is the ship name which is so funny because it really is a “not too shabby” ship XD XD#also I know some ppl have issues with Abigail going and meeting with Henry anyway but for some reason I think that also works for her?? lik#she's a teacher; she talks to the parents if a kid is acting a way ofc if Shawn doesn't want to discuss it she'll go directly to the parent#just yelling into the void
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Self-indulgent oc moments again. About the brat and the old man and the gender issues and slightly the reproductive horror trauma. I can never quite work out how it works in the details but it makes my brain itch.
Ketheric - and by extension Isobel - sets something off in Vel badly. Like femineity and father-daughter relationships in general fuck them up deep down. Faerûn is still very cisnormative in the sense that the identity of 'woman' is tied to biology and motherhood, and that was all very well and fine until you reach 15 years old and your father is threatening you with life as a breeding mare as punishment and suddenly it all gets very tied in with trauma and you start only identifying with masculinity/as a 'cis'man to feel at least a little safer (and because as an extension of Bhaal, you must be a man too, right?), even though by the cultural values you were raised with (and technically according to Toril at large) you are both.
And then there's Ketheric and his daughter who he loves and mourns and is extraordinarily unhealthily obsessed over, and now the Bhaalspawn is a mess of envy and disgust (on top of the general disgust of a fundamentalist zealot looking at a cyclical apostate who sees the gods through the lens of 'how can you serve me?') who will take every opportunity to dig their claws into any opening they can find and twist and tear.
Not to mention the double daddy-issues because 'hello dead foster father I killed who loved me dearly and whom I still feel crushing guilt and self-hatred over and need to be punished by for being such a horror and a disappointment!' Foster father who was an elf. Hit me harder, O'Su...
And then there's Ketheric with his guilt and pride and disgusted pity-scorn looking at this broken, brainwashed 'child' desperate for parental love and attention. Who reminds him simultaneously of Isobel (even though they're not really alike) and Thisobald, as well as Aylin (spite), and the issue with divinity in general - you might not be able to fight a full god, but choking an upstart quasideity will do. Also the appeal of humiliating the brat and putting it in its place. (You kneel to him at his own hearth, damn you!) But also the sheer blind faith is somewhat reminiscent of Isobel and Selûne...
In some ways I wish I'd made Vel a white-haired moon elf just to make them look a bit more like Isobel. Still there's always breaking into her room/tomb and wearing her old clothes or just using illusions.
#Throwing dysfunctional ideas around again does this make sense who knows#Vel doesn't normally acknowledge the part of their brain that goes (used to go by) she/her that got disowned growing up#but she definitely will be a daughter once again purely for the sake of triggering Ketheric's issues and weaponizing them#Because fuck him and his stupid daughter for triggering both of Vel's daddy issues and trauma and dragging that part out#babbling#/durge#/ketheric#Daddy Issues Central#edgelord hours#villainous nonsense#OCs#Vel
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the little tidbits they keep adding about Micheal’s Vulcan upbringing are making me wish we got more of that in seasons 1&2. Season 1 set it up and S2 had the chance to take it further and then dropped anything that had to do with her familial or social dynamics on Vulcan outside of her relationship with Spock.
What we do get is so fascinating. It’s so interesting how her and Spock are two sides of the same coin- we got her reminiscing about her days at the VSA meanwhile Spock was the one who attended Starfleet Academy and bonded with Una over it - but she’s the human and he’s the half-Vulcan Vulcan, and she, the child who embraced logic, is the one that ultimately leaned toward emotion, and Spock, the rebel child, was the one who was steadfast in being guided by logic (with emotion)
#star trek discovery#michael burnham#(Spock is the rebel child in Sarek’s eyes)#once again wishing this wasn’t Burdened By Canon#and even then did it need to be?#we got so little because of the fear of adding it more than the any conflict it would cause#it’s the stupid little things#like why does Spock think marshmallows are called marshmellons#did Michael have friends growing up???#who the fuck knows
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in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.
#i need better coping mechanisms but it’s so easy to just turn to substances when you’ve never learned how to cope w your emotions#and physical pain. however a lot of it has been brought on by the substance abuse aka i did it to myself#so i probably deserve it#but i started with them in the first place to get rid of pain that was so overwhelming and constant#it feels like every time i do something to preserve myself im punished for it#and im so sick of it. i cant believe its gotten this bad#i drink to help the pain -> i get hungover and the pain is way worse -> i drink to stop that pain#and the worst part is it always works#realistically ive depended on substances for like a decade#i started drinking at 13 and fell into a rut of alcoholism at like 15/16#my mom was going thru a phase of alcoholism and roped me into it so bad if be woken up by her bringing me a drink at 9 am#and we’d drink till she passed out and i had to walk her to bed and cook for everyone and do all the chores#it went on for months one summer#then it was weed and i smoked every day from like 18-22#only thing thwt stopped me from drinking until i started again after both my parents died#i havent recovered since.#im still so traumatized and depressed that i looked for any method of relief#the dph phase was the worst. i think alc is even better than that lmfao it was horrible#once i got access to alc i stopped all that. wouldnt have if i hadnt had alc tho#it’s honestly been one addiction after the other for a decade#and my parents fueled so much of it#‘oh id rarher you drink under my eye than do it behind my back’#BRUH YOU WOULDNT LET ME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING. HOW WOULD THWT HAVE HAPPENED#crazy how i was obsessed w drugs and shit by the time i was 10 and i remember thinking wow im gojna grow up to be an addict.#why am i so irreparably fucked up#idk whatever. like im not gonna drink abt it lmao.
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sometimes i surprise even myself with this fantastic playlist
#my music taste only gets better as i get older#to be perfectly fucking honest everything gets better as i get older this whole “growing-up” shit is underrated#like i feel like im becoming a full human being with diverse interests and a fun personality and im maturin and shit#im becomin more comfortable with my body and sexuality and identity all at once#i am becoming more in-tune with my self#plus as i grow older i keep amassing more Cool Shit#anyways who wants me to drop my spotify again?#i had it in my intro for a while but its gone now so ill drop it again if yall want#pigeons be listening to a bop rn#three pigeons in a trench coat
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for this last day, for your pride and your pleasure, i offer from the depths of my guts, the thing that has made itself a burrow there.
it whets its teeth on the lining of my stomach. it curls its tongue around the lowest of my ribs. the tongue is barbed, see, and it takes with every lick pieces of me, until the bone shines white.
until it splinters, and the marrow lays bare.
oh, but it has long since stripped the hair from its skin. it has sat, sharp tongue and sharper teeth, and pulled them out by the root, until its pores bled. it dug teeth and tongue and claws into its lips until they lay, swollen and red, a smear in that wretched face.
its claws are dull, by now. they are stuck in the flesh of my guts, and they have broken at their joints. when i move, i can feel the points of them just under my skin.
don't worry about the teeth now, for they have long been lost. Spit out or pulled or simply wasted away in my stomach acid, there is not a single sharp edge left. its eyes are big and have always been framed by lashes longer than mascara can fake. its cheeks are raw, and bleed still where its beard once grew.
take it. wrap that tongue around your fist and pull. polish it, until barb and flesh are soft and wanton. the lashes flutter. the mouth yawns open. the feet are arched and when it turns its head, its pulse flutters in its throat.
this is a family heirloom. it was my mother's before it was mine, and she took care of it with silken gloves and her heart in her throat. with wax and tweezers and claws, she grabbed it by the throat.
I picked it up and wore it as a scold's bridle, with my tongue wrenched between its teeth and my lungs crushed by its bones. until my stomach had lost its pouch, until my vision spotted.
until my thighs gapped.
this year's celebration, i close out with a showing of my womanhood. for your pride and your viewing pleasure, i bare my insides. please don't take pictures.
please don't tap the glass.
#pride#happy pride 🌈#gender#gender identity#womanhood and me: an examination#terfs if you touch this post i am coming into your home and ripping out your throat#eating disorder mention#in which my metaphors are once again#body horror#growing up in the 2000s fucks you up: the poem#hi i am Not A Woman#this is coloured by that#obviously
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gonna be entirely honest the ten shitmillion 'can't believe they abandoned adding queerness to alicent because she has sex with a man' takes accompanied by all the screaming and crying and throwing up absolutely REEK of biphobia, and that's not a good look for y'all during pride
#personal#hotd spoilers#there's like a ton of threads about how it's okay to still headcanon alicent as wlw even tho she's 'obviously not' now if the leaks are tru#(and also like a ton of 'support' threads about it i'm gonna be honest hotd fandom needs to fucking GO OUTSIDE)#(support threads there are actual for real gay women that exist in real life you do not need 'support' over a fictional character grow up)#but also like she could still be canon wlw because you know bisexual women exist#and experience issues surrounding comphet and repression and the complication of sexuality and religion#which i KNOW for a fact because guess who's a bisexual woman who's had those issues? me!#anyway once again as a multishipper who also follows 'bi until explicitly shown otherwise one way or another' for everything under the sun#it falls to me to be the voice of reason as seemingly the only one on the internet with a fully formed brain who is normal#and apparently not massively biphobic
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I’m the anon from the post before and I understand what you mean! I guess I just took differently when I watched the show. I don’t think Charlie or Nick was upset about Ben being closeted I think they (especially Charlie) we’re just upset how Ben treated Charlie the entire. Also I’m not saying this to be rude or start anything this is just how I saw it:) I think Charlie was angry (as he should) about how Ben treated him through out the relationship they had and not about him being closeted. Because I do believe if Ben just communicated better and treated him better and didn’t treat Charlie the way he did it could’ve worked out. I’m just saying that I didn’t see them bashing Ben for being closeted only bashing him for treating Charlie the way he did without acknowledging how it felt for him.
Yeah I don't think Charlie or Nick is mad about Ben being closeted but weirdly I think the narrative is and that's what irks me. All his issues and bad behaviors are because he's closeted (you said yourself that it's because he's closeted that he treats Charlie the way he does) but the story doesn't seem interested in exploring that so much as punishing him for it by having both Imogen and Charlie yell at him and then throwing him out of the series before he can improve at all.
And when this show is so renowned for it's love and celebration of queer experiences and identity it will always feel out of place that Ben was left out in the dust seemingly because he and his experiences were too complex.
#ben hope#heartstopper#sorry if you really like the show but I am absolutely not the only one that found the handling of Ben uncomfortable#especially when the character is so so young literally the same age as Nick#to deny him the chance to grow feels wrong to me and a lot of other gay men who didn't have our shit together by 16#like this kid hasn't even taken his GSCE's which I assume are similar to the SATs or the Baccalauréat!#he needs to be given the opportunity to grow and he essentially gets the door shut in his face when he's trying to apologize#and to add to it Charlie gets that 'ambush me into accepting your apology' line that once again frames his own growth as a manipulation#which is FUCKED UP!#and from a writing perspective portrays the hand of the author pointing and screaming Hate This Boy Hate Him Hate Him#and the hand of the author should not be that obvious#it makes it feel disingenuous and as if Ben is just a stand in for someone who treated the author poorly#again this is all from a narrative perspective not a character perspective I want to make that clear because I see gay mutuals being lit up#by people who think Charlie should have been forced to forgive Ben or something#but thats not at all the argument any of us are making here
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okie apollo i have come with tormenting thoughts hehe 😈🩷 i hope it’s okay to send something dark for you. giving you a heads up this question involves dark themes and implied non consensual acts, but it’s not specified what exactly.
has there ever been an instance where caleb did something against your mc wishes? how did your mc react? <3
petal i think you want me to DIE. but to answer your question: not noncon, but dubcon (although it’s pretty damn close lmfao) but lemme give a lil context to their dynamic. aidon is just as messed up in the head as caleb is (-> completely his fault btw) but if you get em vulnerable enough and w the right person they’ll quite literally do anything.
set the stage after the interrogation scene in homecoming voyage chapter one. caleb, while initially trying to make them familiar with him again, inwardly is PISSED. for one, aidon had physically changed. they’d grown taller, and were nearly his height, they’d also grown stronger too. it didn’t feel like the little brother he’d grown accustomed to. the one who always looked to him for guidance and for reference of the kind of man they wanted to be. there wasn’t that wide eyed kid following him around anymore declaring “i wanna be you when i grow up!” bc now they were just like him. and didn’t need him anymore (at least that’s what he convinced himself)
so he was angry. and obviously they were going to be the outlet for his anger. they’re the one who made him angry after all, and now that they’ve grown all big and strong, he doesn’t feel a need to be gentle with them :)
he always plotted their first time to be slow and easy, not whatever this was. he didn’t even give aidon the privilege of looking at him (-> which made them cry btw. everything else was fine but not even being allowed to look at him after so long was just NOT IT). face pressed down specifically with his mechanical arm, so he couldn’t even feel how rough he was being with him, nor was he even paying attention to begin with. anger was pouring out of him in like 10 different ways and he was going crazy. (-> he was also tearing up a bit, but different. angry tears)
after the fact there is a bit of remorse beneath blind rage. he got so mad that aidon grew up and didn’t need his care anymore, yet here he is making them bleed and cry and exhausting them completely. he gave them grace and carried him to what would become their room, but then isolated himself for the night.
ANYWAYS I HOPE THIS WAS A GOOD ANSWER. really had to rack my brain for any possible scenarios and then this one punched me in the face
#eden.ask#petal.ask#ఌ︎ defying gravity#cw dubcon#cw pseudocest#once again pushing my; caleb gets a new kind of fucked up w a masc/transmasc mc#agenda#i hope you guys know that i also have a draft of them just being normal. like walking around and looking at frogs and shit#like the cutest thing ever and NOT whatever this is LMFAOOO#caleb is such a lil weirdo like omg chill out#growing up is not the end of the world you dumb BITCH (/affectionate)#also i like angry crying. and i wanna see caleb in tears. so. :3
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no one; ...
lilsimsie after slipping up and mentioning harry potter one time; ''not that i want to even mention that womans name or talk about her at all. jk rowling is such a bad person---''
#went from obsessively watching her this week to full on having her blocked on youtube#get gone byeeeee#loser ass misogynist.#oh nooooo a woman who cares about other women? what a crime!#a billionaire who has donated so much to charity she is not longer a billionaire? how heinous!#a woman who doesnt want kids groomed and taken advantage of by money hungry doctors? hang the witch!#seriously anyone who acts like this about jk rowling is boycotted from my life.#it's so pathetic.#even when i was a tra i didnt care about her and i certainly didnt hate her.#i hated and still hate harry potter but it had noting to do with jk rowling#again. even as an AGGRESSIVE tra i never spoke ill of jk rowling or acted like her name was forbidden#like unus annus? cant even name how many times they censored any and all references to her and harry potter#it's lame. it's pathetic. it's beyond childish. it's misogynistic.#grow the fuck up#honestly lilsimsie has been getting on my nerves lately anyway bc shes annoying as fuck and honestly overrated in the sims community#her builds arent that great. in fact i find most of them are actually BAD.#and have you ever watched her play? it's migraine inducing. she'll set a sim up to die while saying ''omg wouldn't it be so funny if tey#died'' while doing a challenge#and then she'll start screaming and acting like an idiot when the sim inevitably dies.#'oh my god i cant believe this!!! nooo no no no no no!!'' I've seen actual children behave less annoying and that's crazy to say bc i#unironically hate children.#and work with them.#so i have LOTS of experience#but no#this is why i stan caryn and connie#at least if one of their builds is ugly they arent being annoying while they do it#and theyve never even once brought up gender bullshit in their videos#bc theyre builders and dont even look at cas at all.
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