#once again stating i dont hate lestat

[chuuzmii]

I just find it so weird how some people are using the "memory is a monster" aspect of the sow to constantly try to absolve characters of guilt. I saw an argument on tiktok (ik that tiktok is hell on earth but i fear i need to speak on this or i will perish) and people were trying to make up this weird narrative that lestat was never abusive toward claudia when like yeah he was lol but whenever anyone literally quoted something from the show against them they would just go "ermmmmm wha if memory wrong!!! They lie!!!" Like PLEASEEEE FUCK. when sumone brought up claudias diary and they went "claudia had alot of emotions and was alot to handle so maybe lestat was just mean to her but she painted him out as abusive!!!" U sound insane bro. Or when ppl. Bring up armand mesing with louis mind and go "WELL WHAT IF ARMAND PLANTED THOSE MEMORIES INTO LOUIS HEAD!!" stop being purposefully obtuse im BEGGING. He did that shit bro. He said he did it. He said he was deadass wrong for doing it. If even the character ur spending all this time trying to defend (when he doesn't need defending omfggggf) is saying he was in the wrong maybe it's time to GIVE IT UP!

[enigmaticdiary]

i am rewatching episode 1 for rewind the tape :) I've seen the pilot probably around 20 times at this point but I've only watched it by myself.... once! so for the first time since my first time watching it alone, im gonna do it again with a head full of knowledge of the iwtv book and the full season. and im turning off captions so it's less reading and more watching and close observing for me >:D

Below is a liveblog!

WARNING: I FUCKING LOVE TO TALK AND POINT OUT USELESS THINGS ON EVERY SINGLE THING I SEE. THIS POST IS GOING TO BE A MILE LONG. Also im still not great at putting my thoughts together.

hmm. I would read molloys book on kaposi sarcoma and hiv/aids. i love how well the fake book covers and this advert are put together because so many times I've been asked by friends who i showed the show to if it was an actual commercial LOL.

THE PIC ON THE BACK OF THE BOOK GOING FROM LUKE TO JUST AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF YOUNG ERIC BOGOSIAN? LMFAO. The casting is genuinely so perfect in this show. hehe i like how well the passage of time is depicted through the book covers too, not just in. the photos for daniel obviously but for the aesthetic styles of the covers. the cover they made for "the internets gavel" is sooo mid 2000s. I love the attention to detail for these things on screen for less than a second because it gives a fool like me something to look at and praise simply because the detail wasn't overlooked.

"hate and ashbury" man this is such a good title too. simply because im looking at it and sifting out details it's such a good way to get even more insight into molloy's character. while I don't need to get into a history lecture of haight-ashbury, it tells a lot because it was a historically hippie neighborhood in the 1960s and the birthplace of the counterculture movement, it says a lot for molloy especially seeing the previous three fictional books he wrote about, being hiv/aids crisis, the politics of climate change in the United states, the governments attempts at putting stricter regulation on the internet... I could get into how this connects with molloy's character more in relation to his desire for vampirism but i am barely over a minute in and I've been typing for 15 minutes now!!!

"Preparing For An Interview" NO WAY. GUYS!

No no no i will not pause every 10 seconds and try to connect the thematic dots of everything being presented to me. I need to save that for the video essay im writing!

louis' beautiful handwriting❤️

i dont know why daniels scrunched up face is so fucking funny to me.

Jesus okay watching this without captions is actually really difficult for me i see why i need them all at all times. If im not rewinding because i keep fucking pausing im rewinding because I didn't understand a fucking word i just heard. Despite seeing the episode 20 times.

Hmm.. What personally redemptive accomplishments could louis be referring to..?

UUGGGHHHHHHJJJJJJJJHHHHHHHHHHHHHFHHHH sorry Louis on screen and i started tearing up. Hello armand goodbye armand.

Yah.

Do you think louis goes on twitter sometimes.

Yah?

COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!

Louis has changed... The only big change he's mentioned between Interview 1 and now that I can recall off the top of my head is that he stopped killing in 2000. I wonder why? I wonder many things

Truth and reconciliation....

Armand being concerned with daniels editor seeing/hearing what was said. I am vaguely aware of the theory that armand has possibly been up to mindfuckery with both louis and Daniel and i can only wonder if this has been mentioned to buoy that theory. To control the narrative.? Hmm... but why?

I know Daniel was annoyed by louis calling him "boy" but i think it's kind of cute. Even with nearly 50 years passing by, the old human is still young to the vampire who has lived going on twice his lifetimes. I am not 10 minutes in and I have been typing for 40 minutes!

FUUUUUUCK sorry. louis

I have no commentary on louis introducing. LESTAT. sorry, not him. On louis introducing new orleans and his the place he inhabited in it. I think its pretty self explanatory and explicit, yeah?

BRICKS❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh my god the fucking "Oh—goddamn." upon seeing fenwicks diarrhea dick is Ao fucking funny. Louis acting like he would actually have a problem seein a dick or too. Probably would have a problem seeing fenwicks tho (unshitted on). I don't disagree there. Maybe the poop camo is for the best....

Yiu can't be saying that racist jake the dog

Id stick my finger in fenwicks wound and see how deep itd go.

Hi paul

The lord told me to cum. Sorry im 5 years old

Paul punching louis is genuinely so fucking. LESTAT AND HIS FUCKING GOOFY ASS HAT OH MY GOD!!. Sorry. Paul punching Louis was so fucking funny to me because I know that if they were not on that street and were at home or something they would be SLUGGING each other until grace has to pull them apart. Then hug it out :) Idk is this how siblings work im pretty much an only child

I keep having to google words help. HELP. NOT ME HAVING LOOKED UP "PULPIT" ALREADY AND APPARENTLY COMPLETELY FORGETTING WHAT IT MEANS.

Immediately another word I have to google. Im not gonna say I'm stupid for not knowing these words, i did not grow up with the church as closely as others...

i do think a lot about the pointe du lac household before their father died. like. A lot. Theres so much in that brief interaction mentioning him. The sugar cane, the hospital, the Diversion.

Ill never forget the first time i rewatched this ep After learning about the mayfair witches and seeing this scene and being like: GASP! OH MY GOD! ANNE RICE REFERENCE! IT'S ALL CONNECTED!

Paul is so fucking funny like the shade he's constantly throwing, please take a break LMFAO

hng. (louis)

Googling words again. Hmmm the internalized homophobia yes yes i see. Sorry need to google another fucking word. Oh. oh louis...... Ok I can see how my mom picked up on louis being gay so fast. I am a smart boy but my vocabulary is pathetically limited so "big" words going over my head made what should've been pretty obvious be absolutely indecipherable to me. Sorry for being stupid (im not)

I am 17 minutes in and I have been watching and typing for an hour!

Louis: everyone in here is white so its easy to pick out who's gonna call me a nigger to my face and whos gonna do it behind my back

Sir..... Mister....

Hes here

Microaggression 1

TWO.

THREE.

FOUR?

LESTAT CONTINUOUSLY HITTING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH BRICKS

His hair looks like shit

IM. GOING TO KILL HIM. Dont worry louis get behind me.

YOU GONNA FALL VICTIM TO THIS MAN WHOSE HAIR GOT CAUGHT UNDER THE IRON?

Oh my god Leswirl de lioncourt PLEASE PLEASE I CANT TAKE THIS. Actually started growling out loud and said "Shut rhr fuck up, oh mt God.!!!"

IVE EMPTIED A BANK VAULT SAMPLING. S. AJSHKSKSJZMSMS PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GKD. PLEASW. ISNSSMJAKSNSMSJAJZMSUAUBZNZ

Lestat put your ears away, please.

Me, watching this for the first time at the age of 20: Is this gay...? No... it can't be. They would put gay in a show...? For real? (in denial and scared of being queerbaited despite the most explicit homosexual overtext)

MISS CARROLL THEYRE HAVING A DICK MEASURING COMPETITION.!!!!!!!

Unfortunately lestat did kind of serve there but throwing his dick down on the table embarrassing louis like that in front of miss carroll and lily was evil and racist somehow And he should be sentenced to 40 good slams in thr head with a brick

If paul didn't punch louis none of this would be happening

Lestat: God i love to troll

Who the devil you say.? Well...

Oh lord louis' face card sorry didn't mean to moan like that. I saw a maj so beautiful I threw up evrrywhere

Hmm. The racism

FUUUUUUCK LOUIS IS SO CUTE I NEED TO KILL MYSELF!

Lestat needs to put his ears AWAY he looks so bad with his hair that short.

What IS this insane time freezing trick lestat is doing? God when im actually giving myself a chance to really absorb myself in the show that scene is actually pretty fucking scary LOL

I NEED TO DIE I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHIOT ME IN THE FUCKING HEADA

Lord have mercy the sheer SEX in his eyes as he looks at louis' neck. I nedd to die

Paul..... I need to kill myself for emotional reasons not related to loustat

Egypt reference! Wow! Gabrielle allusion ! "The means to make my way to paris" Ok well what if i

I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD AT HOW HARD I LAUGH AT PAULS SCENES. steven norfleet does such an amazing job in this role.

SAVAGE GARDEN!!!!!!! GUYS!!!!! B

Hooray! The scene that changed me literally Forever. Whatever, man.

Ykung violinist

lily and lestat circling louis like two lions descending on a zebra.

I had a dream about this scene once. I will not br elaborating.

Dude.

GUYS. SEX IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!

Guys.

God thid is so fucking crazy

Unfortunately this part does make me giggle especially having to see these two men floating naked and seeing sams fat ass Im about to start crying again

I wish vampires were real

Insert joe biden yelling faggot I don't have it on hand and i don't want to pause for 20 minutes to find it

MY FAVORITE SCENE EVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PAUL AND LOUIS TAPDSNCING SO CUTE AARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The fact that thus scenr eas really all them, being jacob and steven, its so awesome.

WHEN THE BLACK JOY! And then thr Black suffering. Ok guys 21st time is a charm Im praying really hard I THINK I CAN STOP PAUL FROM JUMPING THIS TIME!

This is one of those scenes that really seperates black viewers from nonblack viewers because the way some of my nonblack friends have reacted to florence blaming louis has made me so insanely embarrassed.... I don't know how to explain it. But the shame from a black parent... especially the mother. I don't know. It breaks you in a different way than anything else. Theres a lot of nuance I want to say but I don't have the time or brainpower or expertise to word it properly so please just take my emotional response to this scene at face value.

sorry but lestat just openly asking during the funeral service where they got pauls coffin from is CRAZY.

Breaking finns arm was also crazy as fuck. Like would hs have done that if louis didn't get angry as fuck at him just then. Unfortunately knowing lestats character now seeing louis get mad like that probably made him hard as fuck and thr only way he can deal with it in the moment is to break that mans arm. Sorry I love how ar the beginning of this post i was like super into the nitty gritty and the details bjt then it just turned into me making fun of lestat and how hard he definitely was in like every single scene he was in

God. the pain.

Killing lily was in fact extremely racist and misogynistic of lestat. He should be stabbed many times for this

God.

Ok scene two that permanently changed me

Sorry to that poor stunt double that got knocked out then.

What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. Unfortunately one of the hardest lines ever

No commentary. Hard to say things about this scene cause its just so good, man.

Oh my poor ashy grey blood deprived louis

Watching this scene with headphones on is crazy

GOD. GUYS. I LOVE SHOW. DID YOU GUYS KNOW I FUCKING LOVE SHOW???!!?? Pack it up guys This is one of the best pilots in tv history

To wrap up this post, it took me about 2 hours and 20 minutes to finish the first episode. I spent twice as long watching it BECAUSE I LOVE TO FUCKING YAP!

[princelestatdelioncourt]

Ok I just need to say this.

Someone mortals mentioned Armand is more mature than I am. I am not going to rant and scream and cry as you might wish but there are some points that people I am sure missed when while reading both my book and Armand's.

And what I will say here is none to make Armand or myself better. Or like its said...Armand more mature than I am.

So let me explain, it all started with this:

“I’m trimmed in memories as if in old furs. I lift my arm and the sleeve of memory covers it. I look around and see other times. But you know what frightens me the most - it is that this state, like so many others with me, will prove the verge of nothing but extend itself over centuries” ~ Quote from Armand taken from the book ‘The Vampire Armand’

Then comments began

"Armand is more mature than Lestat. Lestat is not mature at all. Armand is fully matured becasue all he went through. Lestat was born with a silver spoon in Lestat mouth. Aristocrat. This is why Lestat will never be mature. Armand was poor and had a poor family, Armand is more humble that Lestat will be"

Oh Really? Again I am not saying Armand is not mature. Hell, how long has passed since he was born? 600 years ? Some maturity should he has that sad icon painter. But to say I am not mature and never will? Really?

Let me tell you this.... Have you forgotten I was raised poor with no food even if I was the Marquis son, with no money to even get a glass of wine? Have you forgotten how many times I was beaten by my father and brothers when all I wanted is to be happy and get away from that misery dark cold in ruins castle where I could do nothing but to stay there and swallow their words and hate? Have you forgotten by the age of 13 and 14 I had to do the duties my father should have done, which was hunting and providing? Have you forgotten how so many times we had no food and I had to go hunting everyday and good look if there was something I could get and provide? Have you forgotten that I only had 1 pair or pants, boots and shirt and slept on a straw matters and that the first beautiful garment I wore was that red clock and boots Nicolas's father made for me after the wolves? Have you forgotten I wanted to do good and learn and I was sent to the monastery and when I wanted to stay they got me back by force and took my books and locked me in my room? Have you forgotten that I was beaten repeatedly when I went acting becasue I wanted to do good making people to forget about their lives and give them happiness on that moment to make them forget about their pain? I was never happy, Never. Every time I was everything was taken from me. Even after I was given the dark gift. I was happy with Nicki and once again alone and trying to figure out things by myself.

Armand suffered as a kid, yes he did but still as mortal he had this beautiful life when Marius rescued him and he lived with him in luxury, he had food and beautiful clothes and brothers that loved him and Marius teaching him things!! He had a father and a teacher!! I had non of that, NONE. He was able to read and write and paint. Me, 21 and still had no clue how to read of write, what a shame and I had Nicki to read everything for me. No one had the patience to teach me anything but I had learned things by myself, when I went hunting, when I tried to escape, when I did things either if it was good or not, it was Me, no one else, I was trying! I wanted to do good and learn and know. I was my own teacher and pupil.

I am not complaining on Armand, again yes he has suffered, absolutely he did but so I did. He had Marius and he loved Armand and Hell just think about it how much I wished I had a father like Marius, a maker like him!! To give me the blood and staying with me, a guide!! I only had Magnus for 1 hour and what I learned from him. Go to sleep in that sarcophagus every sunrise and stop drinking before the heart stops and here is my treasure and spread my ashes. What else? What i should do? what was going on?? Why me!?? Call me reckless, brat, narcissist....whatever you want...just dont forget all I had to go through as well.

Each an everyone of us, has its own story. Maybe all of us are narcissists, possessive, brats, etc ...we all have had our own pain, doubts and we have learned from experiences and situations.

I have done some many things since that first night that I was given the blood. I went to discover, to know, to ask, to do something other than to hide in the darkness and complain to why I am this now. So many ups and downs. Surrounded by my beloved ones then left alone again. I have done some good things and some bad things but at least I have discovered. I moved on. I did something, I learned and yes I have matured.

I love you mortals, I really do but these things said are no true and you know it. I just hate some just want to see what you want and not the whole picture just because it appeals more this person or that. We all have our issues so do not judge saying someone is not mature becasue we are in a world of discovering and learning things and we will have mistakes, so we are all no mature and we will mature while discovering. Understand?

I am open to discuss this on a mature way. Ask me if you wish. I am here, ready. Go ahead.

=============

//I am sorry I had to write this. I am not disrespecting anyone. Lestat has his own pain as well. All of us love our characters so much and I understand we will defend them or discuss them becasue X reasons. I personally have been called immature and I know how much that hurts. Is not fun and for me, having this character of Lestat as part of who I am, becasue I have quite a few things in common, I felt this was while reading that. I am not trying to make this drama, I just hope that people understands that even if its only characters should not be disinterested. I dont know how to describe it so it makes sense and does not sounds like I am crazy. Perhaps all of this was said with no intention to hurt anyone and I took this to the core becasue it happened to me. I should have not interfere my life to just a characters life. But sometimes I cant. I might be just crazy. And again, I am not blaming anyone here. Perhaps just take it as if Lestat saw that and he is just writing about it. This is a blog after all and we are the owners of it and we publish whatever we want right?. So here is mine for today :-)

I love you all!!!