#once again I cannot avoid the white lines of death
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Happy Birthday.
includes— hawks. severe angst. hurt/no comfort.
warnings— very grotesque trauma reaction. emeto. blood. ptsd. i cannot stress enough to be careful and avoid this if it's triggering.
There's a bloodstain on the tip of his shoes.
With ankles dragged back by clinking, weighted chains, Hawks pulls himself through the doors of his sanitized apartment. Keigo steps out the other side.
He blinks. Keigo blinks. Hawks blinks in turn, up and a little to the left of his body.
His home looks familiar, unchanged as it always does. Hand-selected specifically for their one and only golden boy, the commission itself furnished the living room shades of steel and icy blue. It's a garnish on a dish served cold, a pop of color adorning an empty plate.
He never did like the color blue. It clashes with his eyes; but at least it isn't red.
Keigo detests the color red.
Keigo has always detested the color red.
The first is simply a hurdle, they say. A celebratory milestone for budding saviors in his line of work. The death was clean, they congratulated, handshakes abound as blurry bodies in suits pat his back, groping the flesh of his shoulders like proud fathers.
What did you make me do?
What did you make me do, what did you make me do, what did I do—
There's a bloodstain on the side of his shoes.
With a thud and a click of metal doors behind him, the boy is left alone to watch the spinning furniture through bleary, fogged eyes. Wrinkled at the corners, they blink closed and open again, nearly reptilian in motion and blooded just as cold.
His heart thumps heavily, but not swiftly.
For now, the flow of his veins keeps still, a far cry from his swimming vision. It's a dam, an artificial protective mechanism constructed by cognition factors of the brain; but numb is better than the alternative. Numb is better than the spilling rapids that threaten to splash over the edges and overflow.
He supposes it's better, that is. God knows he doesn't know anything else.
Seventeen years old— eighteen, now. Someone should invent a number for how old he feels.
There's a bloodstain on the bottom of his shoes.
They'll have to replace the linoleum tile. He'd rather scrub it clean himself; a mental note.
He clicks his headphones on to divert his attention before he remembers his hero training: associated sights and sounds can attach to memories, so he should distract a civilian as best he can to keep them grounded. This is his favorite song, and he would hate to dirty it by connecting it to an unwanted neuron or two. Frantic, he tries desperately to erase the lyrics, the title, the tune from memory. He tries to preserve its original, untouched state. The audio waves lose their clarity, muddied and corrupted and glitchy; so he taps next far too many times.
The corrective action simply smears the grime along the melody, and he yanks his headphones off for peace of mind.
All that is left to hear is thrumming white noise.
As he stands unmoving, the silence rings in his ears like the consistent drip of a leaky faucet. Eerily, liminally, buzzingly still, it rings in its silence. It is silent in its ring.
Everything is still, everything is the same and there is nothing he can do, nothing has changed but everything has changed and—
Something is sitting on the coffee table.
It's new.
A crisp, white slip of paper, signed and dated courtesy of the Hero Public Safety Commission.
A check.
The water of his blood runs cold, draining rapid off the sides as it begins to rush and overflow.
Entirely without his permission, his scraggly form doubles over and retches, fingertips smearing against the glass of the coffee table before his arms fly out like they're searching for something. Crash and clatter, the deafening sounds ring out, preselected decorations from industry-class interior designers knocked off the glass as he grips.
Hands tap once, twice on the surface, before a palm darts up to cover his gagging mouth. His eyes widen, bloodshot, dashing left and right—
Until he sees it, sitting isolated by the television set.
Still on his feet, he nearly tumbles as he crawls over to grip it with both hands, emptying his guts into the pretty, pristine, perfect, prepackaged and plastic bin.
Someone tucked a bag in it, lining around the inside to keep the object fresh and free of bacteria and clutter and dirt. It's almost rather thoughtful. The film crinkles loud as he vomits.
His knees thud against the tile of the bloody linoleum, emptying and emptying himself in garbled chokes and chunks, until the infection of the bile ceases to rise; until all that's left for him to give is the spittle of his sputtered coughs, the patter of clear tears that plop and mix into the mess below.
Hands trembling along the rim, Keigo hiccups.
All clean.
My nose stings, he thinks, sniffling as he pinches it. It feels like acid. It probably is.
Up he rises on shaky legs, wiping his face with the back of his grimy glove. Plucking the paper from its place on the table, he drops it in the bin. It laughs at him, the inked letters morphing into a cheshire sneer.
He tries to forget its sum, generating random strings of numbers in his head to confuse his neurons— three, seven, five, two.
Once the silence drapes over his shoulders like filthy, clipped wings, he almost misses the sound of retching. It's preferable to the silence; at least, he thinks it could be. God knows he doesn't know anything else.
His dispatch monitor buzzes firm against his thigh— an alarm.
Oh, that's right.
He nearly forgot to clock out.
There's a bloodstain on the inside of his shoes.
#everybody say i hate you to the commission!! <3#hawks#keigo takami#mha fanfiction#hawks fanfiction#keigo takami fanfiction#🖋 writing#🍧 sugar#bnha fanfiction#takami keigo#angst#fanfic
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The Choices That Make Us, Part 1
This is a first for me- these are small, silly drabbles I write in my Google notes. Meant more to be a character study of Cedric, and how I interpret his thought process, his emotional/mental state, and the choices he makes to cope with it all. However, that being said, I do see these events as possibly happening in canon. Sorry but not sorry for writing such a heartbreaking drabble.
TRIGGER WARNINGS LISTED:
SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDAL IDEATION AND ALLUDING TO THE ACT. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
He felt a tear drip down his nose, the tearsrop hovering on the tip of it, as if contemplating whether it should fall off the ledge or not.
Just like I'm doing right now, Cedric mused.
Another tear falls down the same track as the previous one he shed, finally pushing that initial drop over the edge.
It fell.
He watches that tiny drop fall from his sight, probably landing somewhere on the paved, cold stone that lay at the end of such a drop.
Inconsequential. Unnoticed. Gone, in an instant with no witnesses except for himself.
By the time the guards or whoever the hell would stumble on his corpse, it wouldn't matter to Cedric. He would be long gone by then, and it wouldn't be his problem anymore, it would be someone else's.
But that's just the irony, isn't it? Even in killing himself, a mess would be made in his wake, and Roland would be right- it is Cedric who's to blame for it.
The bastard probably wouldn't even think to consider suicide- I'm sure they'd all think I'm a bumbling fool who fell out of his tower.
Cedric tried to laugh at his own cruel joke, but all that came out was a sob instead.
Even in death, he wouldn't know peace, would he?
No, no of course not. Because then his death would only burden those around him further. If he dies now, if he crosses this line, if he steps over this balcony tonight and his body crashed into the pavement like his tears, wet and splattered and broken then it will only cement his legacy as a complete and utter fuck up.
"This can't be it."
Cedric declared to no one, aloud. Although, with his shaking voice and white knuckled grip on the metal bars of his balcony, it felt more like a plea- to God, to himself, to the stars above, he didn't know- he wasn't sure what to believe in anymore.
"I won't survive this if it is."
Cedric's body sagged over the railing, his vision blurring with tears, the same way his vision would blur if he lefts himself lean any goddamn farther over this stupid balcony. His confession feels like an admittance of defeat, of anguish and despair, of all the things he cannot say to any soul in this castle and certainly not under the light of day.
Cedric thinks about tomorrow, forcing himself to get up once again even though his body feels as heavy and lifeless as a corpse these days. He's about as pale and skinny as one, too.
People haven't commented on the deepening bags under his eyes, or the frown lines hardening into trenches across his mouth and forehead. But he's seen, felt the looks of pity and disgust from passerby.
Like looking at a dying dog laying in an alleyway.
But even as they witness it, not one person reaches out. Those that do seem more predatory in their questions, like he has some big hidden secret beneath his haunted look and trembling hands.
In a way, he does. But it's not magic- it's a curse. It's decomposition. It's a vile, ugly beast that begs to be put out of its misery.
He doesn't know how long he can avoid it, or keep putting off his inevitable demise. But as each day passes, Cedric leans a little father out from the balcony.
Waiting to fall.
#cedricthesorceror#cedric the sensational#character analysis#character study#im... so sorry yall#unfortunately#i cant imagine cedric NOT thinking of doing something like this#hes been abused#and bullied#and belittled his whole life#take care of yourself#after reading this#remember that there's people who care#you're never as alone as you think
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Discipline In the Bastille
Good Omens Fanfiction
Crowley x Aziraphale
Nsfw MDNI: spanking, dirty talk, discipline, dubious consent, bad angel, dom Crowley, sun Aziraphale, French Revolution, guillotine, language, mentions of death, and crying.
“Animals.” Aziraphale huffed.
“Animals don’t kill each other with clever machines, Angel, only humans do that.” A familiar voice called from behind the angel.
“Crowley!” Then, he noticed the look on the demon’s face, “oh… good lord.”
For the majority of their shared existence, Aziraphale hadn’t made too many stupid decisions, but this one was the most ridiculous by far. He had popped across the channel in the middle of a goddamn revolution to get something to nibble. Crepes, he’d claimed. No other country made them better than the one they originated from. Crowley growled in annoyance at the mental image of the angel’s arrest.
“You look like Antoinette in all that sparkle and ruffling fluff, what the hell were you thinking?” Crowley was standing now, expression strict, “walking around like a lost broach on the King’s lapel, thinking “what shall I eat today?” Maybe you need a heaping plate of bon sens!”
Aziraphale’s eyes began to water, “you’re mocking my eating habits and my decision making abilities! How dare you!”
The demon meant to only roll his eyes, but his entire head went with them. “Angel, I love to watch you eat- the pleasure I draw from it… you’re as smooth as the softest bed silk and I love your plush curves, but a mishap like this cannot happen again; this calls for punishment.”
The demon swayed across the room to where the angel once sat. It had been a cold and brittle stool. Crowley kept the angel’s wrists confined in the chains and patted his lap. The gesture was strange behind Aziraphale’s blue eyes, but eventually, he got the message. His face went pale at the very thought of what Crowley was implying.
“Excuse you!” The angel gasped. “I’m not some elementary boy that’s acting out of line!”
“A good spanking is in order, princess. You’ve been a very naughty thing and I can’t imagine letting you go without a reason to behave.”
Outside the cell, the guillotine sliced another head clean from its body. The sound was horrendous- wet and sloppy in the late afternoon sun. Crowley wasn’t there to humiliate him; he was there to give Aziraphale a choice. He could either submit like a good, little cherub, or use up a frivolous miracle to save himself from discorporation.
In the end, he chose the ladder. Stepping in front of Crowley, the angel lifted his chains and gave them a wee shake. The demon chuckled softly and began to pull down the angel’s trousers and stockings. He had the prettiest legs with a light dusting of white hair glowing atop celestial skin. What Crowley would have given to kiss every inch of them: to bite the flesh of this divine entity. However, that could be sought after later.
Aziraphale lowered himself over the demon’s bony knee, revealing his backside to the light pouring through the small window. It was quite a sight, the nearly white bottom. Crowley was excited to see how well it took to his strikes. With a careful hand, the demon rolled up his sleeves and landed a small slap to the angel’s left buttock. It was manageable, nothing extraordinary, until the Crowley added some enthusiasm.
A CLACK sounded throughout the cell. The stinging sensation hadn’t been given time to soothe before another blow met the pink skin. Crowley was mercilessly engaged with every smack, ensuring those glistening cheeks were as red as his hair. As for the angel, he was grinding his hips forward, biting his bottom lip to avoid the excess of whimpers. He felt dirty rutting into that modestly dressed thigh, but the motion was the only thing keeping his clit throbbing.
“Five more, angel,” Crowley warned, sounding just as strung out as the angel. “You’ve such a pretty arse. ‘Look so angelic in all that peachy blush… like a battered orchid.”
“Crowley, I beg you to take me after this. It hurts so very good…” Aziraphale let out another strangled groan.
SMACK SMACK SMACK! The last five landed at the very curve of the angel’s cheeks, striking with enough force to warrant a few tears. Aziraphale’s bum bruised a dark rouge, possibly darker than the blush of an aristocrat. Crowley helped him rise to his feet, feeling those fragile legs shake.
“You demon…” the angel wept. “Touch me…”
“Of course.” Crowley half carried Aziraphale to the stones opposite the cell gate and began attacking his lips with feverish kisses. One of his hands slipped between the angel’s legs, embracing the damp warmth that enveloped his white curls and tender labia.
Crowley was a greedy demon who happily inhaled the angel’s moans as he slowly massaged his tender clit. Aziraphale gripped at the fabric of Crowley’s sleeve, trying to find something to ground him in these times of lustful desire. If his legs weren’t shaking from the spankings, then they surely were now. The stone wall behind him scratched at the tender flesh of his bum, eliciting the familiar sting once again. His fingers continued to move in that delicious clockwork circle, pressing firmly when the fiend craved more of Aziraphale’s sweet moans.
“I’m close… Crowley please…” the angel had been crying, absolutely shuttering from the agony of pleasure. “May I come?”
The demon nodded, trying to keep himself in check, “come for me, Angel. You pretty thing…”
And he nearly set the Bastille’s guards running to the source of the howl. Aziraphale had liquid drenching his inner thighs, running in murky strands of milky white. Crowley ate it up, savoring the taste of a well spent seraph. Once the angel could no longer stand, the demon miracled his legs into a firm jelly, but not too firm as to forget why they ached.
#good omens#good omens fandom#good omens fanfiction#good omens headcanons#good omens crowley#good omens aziraphale#crowley x aziraphale#neil gaiman#good omens season 1#bastille#french revolution#good omens fic#angel x demon
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⌖ the 2nd shot. ┆that's kinda hot. [ 0.9k words. ]
jay's has a very short temper. he knows that, his friends know that, everyone in the university knows that. what everybody doesn't know is that his anger is often fleeting, and that once his temper goes away, his guilt eats him up. still, he cannot and would not say sorry. ni-ki being the primary target of his anger often just accepts the gifts jay leaves in front of his room as an apology because one, the gift is often expensive, and two, he knows his jay hyung very well.
which is why he's currently pacing around his room, wondering if he's going to apologize to her. apologizing is just out of the option— but how is he going to talk to her again?
noturnsiper: "i'll come back when you're not being stupid and childish."
her last message was 4 days ago. looking back at their past messages, jay feels bad spamming her like that. he realized that he was, in fact, being stupid and childish. fuck, she must thinks i'm one of those toxic misogynist gamers. he did remember her saying something along the lines of "i hope you're not those idiots who hate on women for breathing lmao" during the match, which he ignored at the time.
the choices are clear: either he suck up coming off as mean to an online girl which he probably would never meet in this lifetime, or say sorry so he can continue playing with said girl who's objectively good at the game.
"fuck." he whispers, opening the game and nibbling on his lower lip as it loads. he tries to convince himself that the only reason he's saying sorry is so she can help him rank up, not because he genuinely feels sorry for blowing off on— holy shit, she's online.
killstrike: hey.
notursniper: ? what do u want
killstrike: no need to be so hostile, damn 😔 killstrike: i just wanted to apologize for what i did last time haha
notursniper: ... really?
killstike: yeah, i just had a bad day
notursniper: so you kind of are one of those toxic men on here
killstrike: that's kinda fair for you to say. but would u want to play again? killstrike: i totally accept it if you dont :)
notursniper: match me on 1v1 and i'll accept your apology if you win
killstrike: and if i lose?
notursniper: i'll block u here ❤️
jay thinks he deserves it. besides, if he can't, then at least he'll get to play with a cute good player before she blocks him. that doesn't mean he won't go down without a fight.
killstike: aight bet
—
death match arena — the rules are simple: the first player to eliminate the other 20 times wins. jay picks up his gun and he traverses through the map when he hears the first shot. going behind a wall, he peeks and before he can even pull out his gun, he spots notursniper with her weapon already aimed at him.
notursniper - 1 | killstrike - 0
he manages to kill her every now and then, using stealth and his self-heal technique but it doesn't compare to how god-like her aim is, always getting him by headshots. he doesn't even manage to see where the shot is coming from, he just hears a single shot ringing and he'll be spawned back to base with the scoreboard adding another point beside her name. he smiles to himself in plain admiration of her skills.
the score is now 19-13 in notursniper's favor.
on the last round, jay spawns in his base. i can hold off just a little until the score evens out. he hides behind a crater and pulls the ring off of a frag grenade and peeks out to throw the weapon in hopes of distracting her. he slings a few smoke grenades in different directions to throw her off too, using the white fog to adjust his location.
he ends up inside the warehouse in the center of the map, grabbing the special m249 to avoid reload mishaps. despite the added weight and nerfed character speed of the weapon, he manages to sneak to her location only to see... nothing? she's not in her usual spot. where is she? he turns around and there she is with her knife. he presses on the shoot button hard, not even caring whether the bullets actually hit her. it still wasn't enough, though, as his loading screen flashes a bright red "defeat."
he chuckles, knowing very well that she killed him with a knife to prove a point that she's not only a good sniper, but an ace with any kind of weapon.
killstrike: hey before you unfriend me on here i hope you know i just said what i said out of anger 🤕
notursniper: are you sorry?
killstrike: yes 😔
notursniper: say you're sorry one more time.
fuck, that's kinda hot.
killstrike: i'm sorry.
notursniper: u better be thankful that im being this nice notursniper: sigh notursniper: ur forgiven but you're on thin fucking ice, sir 🤨
killstrike: haha, yes ma'am. 🫡
notursniper: r u not gonna compliment how i fucking BODIED you during that deathmatch lmfaoooooo notursniper: 19/20 headshots im AWM lord ‼️
killstrike: ok nvm u can just unfriend me 😐
jay shares a few laughs with his newfound friend. as promised, she helps him rank up on duo, getting him from crown to his goal crown iv in just a few hours. she tells him she has to go to sleep and urges jay to do the same, messaging "you go to sleep too, mister killstrike. i had a great time." and jay doesn't understand why he closes his phone and drifts off to sleep with a small smile on his lips, heart feeling full.
masterlist. ┆ previous. — next.
summary: park jay lives life as a hot-headed gamer by day and.. well.. still a hot-headed gamer by night— except he secretly goes by the name killstrike. after losing a match, he finds himself trash-talking, his teammate notursniper, who happens to be the mysterious classmate he's been admiring for over a year and more.
a/n: hello ! my preliminary exams are over and now i can actually start consistently posting hhhhh. also, IMPORTANT NOTE: for the most part, "she" will be referring to notursniper and "you" will be referring to the reader since a lot of the written part will be from jay's pov. i hope this makes sense. aslkdjalskdj. anyway. enjoy !!
taglist [open]: @yvnjin-s @wondering-out-loud @rikisly @babystrlla @shinrjj @homelycat @annoyingbitch83
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#jay x reader#social media au#enhypen social media au#smau#socmed au#enhypen smau#enhypen socmed au#twitter au#enha smau#enha socmed au#enhypen x you#enhypen jay#enhypen jay fluff#enhypen jay x you#heeseung#jake#enhypen jake#sunghoon#sunoo#jungwon#niki#kpop smau#smau: knock me down
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you came back to me. you came back. — madge to katniss
THEY SIT ON THE STEPS AT THE BACK OF THE VICTORS’ VILLAGE, side-by-side. Katniss has a sad little wildflower she plucked from between the cobbles in her hand — the same one she smashed through glass only days ago. She spins it idly as she looks straight ahead. Its petals are limp and soft and now that she’s ruined it, she imagines they’ll soon be dead.
“Yeah.” Her voice comes out hoarse. She’s cried it raw ever since they announced it: the Third Quarter Quell. Tributes to be reaped from the existing pool of victors. “I did.” Her free hand reaches up to rub at her eyes, but they’re sandpaper-dry. When her fingers fall, they do so against Madge’s knuckles. Searching, seeking for gaps, slotting into place, palm against palm, because Katniss has tried everything — everything — since the announcement. Violence, alcohol, screams, tears, pain.
The feel of Madge’s hand in hers is the first thing that’s helped. That’s made her feel real again. And good. It feels good, too. As good as anything can feel right now.
Her grip tightens on Madge’s soft skin: desolate, desperate. She doesn’t quite notice. Her mind is miles away, back across black train tracks and under a starless night. She can still hear them: the cannons, booming against the sky. But at least now she’s got a tether, and slowly, selflessly, Madge reels her back again.
A minute passes. Maybe two, maybe more. Katniss isn’t sure. All she knows is one minute she’s staring at the stone; then she blinks, and she’s in the village again. She breathes deep — deep enough to smell that familiar scent of flowers and faint medicine on Madge’s skin — deep enough to make her bones shake — and finally focuses on Madge. Katniss searches her face and thinks she sees pain.
“Am I — ? I’m hurting you.” She’s holding Madge so tight her knuckles are white. “Sorry. I’ll — ” She doesn’t want to let go. She can’t bring herself to let go. Katniss drops her eyes to their hands and forces herself to relax. Her muscles twitch against Madge’s in protest. Look at that. She can’t even control her own body. What made her think she could ever help control what’s happening in the districts?
Katniss clears her throat. She’s ashamed.
“Peeta wants us to train every day.” Her voice goes gray again as some of the emotion slips away. Boom, boom; cue the death dirge; cue the rousing fanfare. “I’ll be watching footage of other victors tomorrow until noon.” The thought of it makes her want to throw herself into the fence, newly electrified, freshly caged. She scrapes a thumb over the back of Madge’s hand, then finally meets her eyes. Katniss’ expression is pleading. “I know I asked you to visit for breakfast. Can you come by later instead?”
Very telling, to those who know where to look. It’s right in between the lines: what she’s tried so hard to avoid. Tried so hard not to say.
I came back once, Madge. I can come back again.
Katniss cares for Madge too much to make a promise she is certain she cannot keep.
@forgaeven from little darlings.
#forgaeven#katniss/ic.#katniss/catching fire.#ohhh mine catnip is so rusty but :#hands hands hands hands hands h
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One last post before go to bed, a lil drawing of my OC w/ @kuratsukiun @bingsu-chan and @brinthie OCs as wives, it's been in my head lately and I gotta draw it before my motivation vanished once again ┐(‘~`;)┌ ಥ‿ಥ sorry for the lots of errors here!
(on that note, I kinda enjoy seeing them with their husbands' names, but one difference is that Nozomi kept her name because Nobuyuki decided to take her name instead)
#kimetsu no yaiba oc#kny oc#demon slayer oc#oc#my oc#other's oc#once again I cannot avoid the white lines of death#muchos lazy#Banriten Sora#Kazuyuki Nozomi#Aoyanagi Hiromi#Kimiko Hinami
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chapter: six ( 15.5k ) rating: mature (death, past abuse, eventual smut) genre: mystery | romance | hurt/comfort tags: bts x reader | ot7 x reader | hybrid | poly summary: when an estranged uncle leaves you his massive fortune you wonder if the universe is playing a joke on you. when that fortune comes with seven hybrids, you know for sure that it is. << first < previous | next > last >>
what is hybrid marking
8.2 million results.
While scent mixing (heretofore referred to as ‘scenting’) is temporary and lasts a maximum of twelve hours if left undisturbed, scent marking (‘marking’ in common parlance) is semi-permanent. A ‘mark’ is created when the pheromones present in a hybrid’s bodily fluids are applied directly to their markee’s skin. When said chemical compounds seep below the epidermis and bond to the sweat glands found within the dermal layer of the skin, the target has been officially ‘marked’. Between domesticated hybrids and their human caretakers, this is most commonly done by applying hybrid saliva to the skin of the neck, where a human’s scent tends to be strongest. While the behavior involved in marking resembles some aspects of human foreplay, it is a non-sexual expression of mutual trust and affection. It is important to note that most hybrids of age are able to mitigate the oral secretion of pheromones and cannot mark accidentally-
“How do I look?”
The sound of Jimin’s voice makes you jump. You fumble with your phone, trying to exit out of the website, shove it in your pocket and look at the leopard hybrid’s outfit at the same time.
“You look great!” You tell him once the device is safely tucked away.
He rolls his eyes at you. “You’ve said that about everything I’ve shown you.”
You had, but only because it was true. No matter what the trio of hybrids tried on, they all looked great. You weren’t sure what it was, but seeing them in something other than neutral sweat suits made them look even better than they already had. You were discovering they all had unique senses of fashion too. Taehyung preferred earth tones, soft fabrics and slouchy cardigans, Yoongi tended toward plaid overshirts and dark denim and Jimin had just come out of the dressing room in his sixth button down and second pair of chelsea boots.
When the four of you had arrived at the mall that afternoon, you’d told them to go wild and call you when they were ready to check out. There was an entire section of the shopping center that catered specifically to hybrids and you were certain they’d be able to find everything they needed and more. You’d been all set to sequester yourself in a booth in the food court and indulge your hybrid research habit, but Taehyung had fixed you with a forlorn look the moment you tried to part with them and Jimin had insisted that you personally review every piece of clothing he put on. You wouldn’t deny that you were having fun, but surreptitiously trying to google what every little thing they did meant without getting caught was getting harder and harder.
Jimin breezes past you to the semi-circle of mirrors on the far end of the fitting rooms, brushing his tail against your shins as he passes. That was another thing that had changed. Since the talk you’d had with the boys last night, it seemed like they were always finding some excuse to touch you or brush up against you . You didn’t know if it was a manifestation of their cat genes or them just wanting physical reassurance that you were there, but it seemed like every time you turned around there was a tail curling around your calf or a nose tip against your ear or a shoulder brushing your own. You were practically wreathed in them. Even Yoongi hadn’t seemed to mind when your fingertips had brushed against each other at breakfast when you’d passed him the juice. You didn’t know if you should count that as progress, but you want to.
You’re not entirely used to physical contact and nearly every time Taehyung rubs his cheek on the top of your head or Jimin reaches out to link your fingers together, you jump. It feels strange, to have people be so blatantly physically affectionate with you. It’s not like you dislike it, exactly, it’ll just take some getting used to. Whatever adjustments you need to make, you know you’ll need to make them quickly. You don’t think the hybrids will give up on friendly hugs just because you never initiate them first.
“Y/N-ah,”Jimin calls, catching your attention. He’s twisting this way and that on the platform, trying to catch his reflection in every possible angle. He hums in disappointment as he turns back to the front, tail waving behind him. “This collar,” he says, tugging on the offending band of bright green plastic around his neck, “-is ruining my outfit. We’ll need to get real ones today.”
You feel like a stone has settled in your stomach. Your shoulders sag, but if the leopard hybrid notices, he doesn’t say anything. “Yeah,” you reply. “Yeah, you’re right.” In truth, you’d hoped to put it off for a little while longer. Collaring and leashing a hybrid had always seemed odd to you. After all, weren’t they people too? The law was the law, you knew, but something about publicly and visibly marking someone as property...well, the morality of it was gray at best. The temporary collars had provided you with a stay from the inevitable, but there was no avoiding it any longer, you supposed. They’d have to get collars.
“I saw a store for them a couple shops down,” Taehyung supplies as he steps out of his dressing room in a white linen shirt and cream drawstring pants. “We could go there?”
“That works for me...Taehyung, one of your buttons is in the wrong hole.”
The tiger hybrid squints down at his shirt, feels blindly for the hole he missed, but can’t seem to find it.
“No,” you tell him. “Not that one, the other- do you just want me to fix it?”
He pauses and looks up at you for a solid three seconds before giving a single, slow nod.
You come to stand in front of him and start undoing the buttons from the top. There’s only four of them but each one you pop open reveals more and more of his honey brown skin and prominent collar bones. Your fingers brush his skin accidentally and he chuffs happily, one hand resting on your lower back as you start buttoning him up again. Heat starts crawling up your neck unbidden. Even through the fabric of your t-shirt, you can feel the warmth of his palm, how long his fingers are. He presses you closer until your arms are nearly flat against your chest as you try to finish buttoning him up. It’s hard to move squished between the insistent pressure of his hand and the- surprisingly- hard line of his body, but you make do. “There!” You pat him gently on the chest as you finish the last button. “All done.”
He dips forward and rubs his cheek against your forehead, rumbling so deep in his chest that the vibrations pass into you. “Thank you.” He releases you and pulls away, but as he does, his lips brush against your hairline. You try not to read too deep into it.
The tiger hybrid sidles over to his friend in the mirror, wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s waist and dipping his head into his neck. Jimin reaches back and scratches behind one of his ears and your heart swells in your chest. It was nice to see them be so openly affectionate with each other. They’re so close in a way you can’t even begin to understand. It’s beautiful.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you thumb the screen to life. An incoming call from Mr. Seo. “You guys keep trying stuff on,” you tell the pair, already standing to make your way out of the dressing room. “I’ve gotta take this.” They both call at you to hurry back and you give them a shout of assent as you rush away.
The second you’re outside the store, you answer. “Hello?”
“Ms. L/N,” Mr. Seo’s voice crackles on the other end of the line. “I trust you’ve settled in well.” It isn’t a question and the tone of his voice makes it clear that he doesn’t wish to spend what precious time he has exchanging pleasantries with you.
“Yeah, everything’s okay.” Everything had most certainly not been okay when you’d emergency dialed him two days ago about the tiger on your couch. The text he’d sent you back six hours later had told you to figure it out. You had and you knew you weren’t his responsibility, but him tossing you in the deep end was still a sore spot for you.
“There’s been a change of plans.”
You grimace. Straight to it, then. “What’s going on?”
“Black Mountain Canines- the company your uncle purchased two of the hybrids from- changed their pick-up date. They want you to come get them in person today.”
“Pick-up?” You frown. “No, they were supposed to drop them off.”
“They were,” Mr. Seo confirms, “But it’s apparently no longer profitable for them to drive all the way into Seoul to hand-deliver two of their charges. They also claim they’re incurring additional expenses by feeding and housing two hybrids who’ve already been purchased, but we’ll see about that when we arrive.”
Your anxiety spikes and your fingers wrap tighter around your phone. You’d promised the boys a whole day out. All you’d done so far was get them phones of their own and furniture for their room. There was still so much to do, so much to see. “What about Yoongi and Jimin and Taehyung?” You blurt out.
Mr. Seo sighs and his breath crackles over the receiver. “Those are the cats, I assume? I suggest you let them know sooner rather than later that they’ll have to share their space.” There’s a flurry of movement on his end of the line, the sound of someone calling his name and papers shuffling. “I have to go; they need me to look over some case files.” He tells you. “I’ll be at Haneul Tower to pick you up in three hours. Be downstairs waiting.”And the line clicks off.
You sigh and hang up. What were you going to tell the boys? Day one of your new friendship and you were already breaking promises.
“Trouble?” Yoongi’s voice right behind you makes you flinch and whirl on him. His ears press back against his head and he takes a step back at your sudden movements.
“Sorry!” You tell him, forcing your spine to relax. “Sorry, I didn’t notice you there; I thought you were still shopping. ”
“I can tell,” he snarks, but there’s no heat behind it. His eyes trace the line of your shoulders, still tense and flick to the phone in your hand. “I dropped my stuff at the register. What’s going on?”
You gnaw on the inside of your cheek, nerves making your stomach ache. “C’mon,” you tell him, walking back into the store. “Let’s pay and grab some lunch. I’ll tell you when we sit down.” He follows after you a few paces behind, trying not to let worry prick in him at the anxious shift in your scent. Something was about to change, he was sure, and not entirely for the better.
Twenty minutes later, the four of you are sitting in the food court, a mess of shopping bags at your feet and a bowl of tteokbokki between you. Yoongi and Jimin had picked out all the fish cakes first and were bickering good-naturedly over who the last one should go to, but Taehyung seemed content to just gnaw at his rice cakes. You’d hardly touched anything, your eyes flicking back to the time on your phone. 1:20 P.M. Two hours and forty minutes ‘til Mr. Seo would be at your apartment to pick you up and bring you to get two more of the hybrids your uncle had bought. You push a rice cake around on your paper plate with the end of your chopstick. Well, no point delaying the inevitable.
“Hey, guys?” You call softly. Three pairs of ears swivel toward you immediately. The words die in your throat and your tongue feels like lead as they look at you, all their eyes focused and expectant. You clear your throat and force yourself to continue. “So...you know how I…” You search for the right word, but there’s really no other way to say it. “...inherited you guys from my uncle?”
Taehyung’s eyes flick toward Jimin and the leopard hybrid brushes his tail against the tiger’s. Silent communication you couldn’t even begin to decipher. “Yeah,” Yoongi says, tossing his chopsticks down and leaning back in his chair. “I told them.”
That was right. What you’d blurted out at Yoongi yesterday on the street you had yet to disclose to his juniors. “Thanks, Yoongi,” You tell him, meaning every word of it. He’d spared you from yet another uncomfortable conversation.
“...For what it’s worth, we’re glad it’s you,” Taehyung tells you, his tail twining around your ankle under the table. He looks at his hyungs for confirmation and when neither of them deny it, he settles his amber gaze back on you. “We like being here with you, even if you didn’t pick us. It’s...It’s nice.”
You can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips at his words. He beams at you, his boxy smile soft despite the sharp incisors poking his bottom lip. “I like having you guys around, too,” you admit, taking the time to meet each of their eyes. Jimin purrs as you look at him, the corners of his mouth curling. When your gaze meets Yoongi’s, his ears twitch but he doesn’t look away. He doesn’t blink either, just holds your stare with an intensity that makes heat crawl up your neck. You suddenly remember the warm stretch of his body over your’s, the sensation of his lips against your neck. You snatch your eyes away and cough to cover your lapse in speech. “It would’ve been scary, I think, if I had to deal with all this alone.”
You couldn’t even imagine it.That clinically clean apartment with its blank white walls and its imposing emptiness would have driven you down until you couldn’t stand it anymore. You’d always had a little pit of loneliness inside you. You didn’t know how long it’d been there. Maybe it always had been, a seed of something sad and dark at the core of your soul. You’d done well keeping it contained. You felt it in your goshiwon, but your room was small. It couldn’t grow beyond your keeping. In Oliver’s penthouse, it would’ve had endless room to sprawl and with no one to clip it back, you would’ve choked to death on vines of doubt.
“There are others,” you tell them, before you can down spiral into the mire of your own thoughts. “He bought other hybrids before he died. They weren’t supposed to be coming until next week but their company wants me to come get them today.”
The mood at the table shifts almost immediately. Taehyung’s ears and tail sag, Jimin’s smile goes sharp at the edges and Yoongi’s lip curls. “How many others?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. You notice he does that when he’s nervous or uncomfortable. It’s a defense mechanism, no matter how at ease it makes him seem.
“Four,” you answer and the bobcat hybrid’s ears tilt back in irritation. “Two are coming home today and the other two toward the end of next week.” Jimin doesn’t say anything, but you see the tip of his tail flicking back and forth. He’s annoyed. Taehyung drops a hand onto the smaller hybrid’s back and rubs circles in it, trying to soothe him.
“Maybe it’ll be okay?” The tiger hybrid offers. He’s trying his best to be diplomatic, but you hear the strain in the deep timbre of his voice. “Having other cats around again might be nice. We used to live with a lot back at the center…”
You wince. “...they’re canines.” Almost immediately, all of their ears go flat against their skulls and they hiss in unison. Yoongi stifles himself the quickest, setting a hand on Jimin’s knee and squeezing to get the leopard hybrid to get a hold of himself.
“Hybrids of different species don’t play well together,” he explains. “Especially not when our animals are solitary in the wild. The only reason Jimin, Tae and I are able to stand sharing the same territory is because we’ve known each other since we were kids and we’ve had to do it before.”
Before? A question forms in the back of your mind, but now isn’t the time to ask it.
“We don’t like sharing what’s ours,” Jimin continues for his hyung, interlocking his fingers with yours on the plastic table top. “It’s instinctual.”
“I know, I know.” You squeeze his hand lightly, trying to reassure him. “But the apartment is big; can’t you avoid each other starting out?”
All three of them give you a strange look and Jimin’s lips curl in a way that isn’t quite a smile. “...right,” he purrs, a little delayed. “The apartment.”
You chew on the inside of your cheek, anxiety sinking its claws into you. “I’m really sorry to spring this on you guys, I know it’s not great, but…” Your shoulders sag. “I don’t want to have promised someone a home and rip the rug out from under them, you know?” You knew what that felt like. You wouldn’t wish that feeling on your worst enemy. “I’m just...I’m worried that they’re not being treated well.”
“They were up for sale,” Yoongi drawls. “They definitely aren’t.”
The taxi ride back to Haneul Tower is uncomfortably quiet. Jimin still holds your hand and Taehyung still leans on your shoulder, but nobody says a word. You help them carry their bags upstairs and drop them off in the master bedroom. You’d told them they could have separate rooms if they wanted, but they’d insisted on sharing, so you thought it was only fair that they get the largest room in the penthouse. Clothes went onto hangars and into closets and before you knew it, there were only ten minutes until Mr. Seo’s arrival.
“You don’t have to go,” Taehyung huffs. He’s got you wrapped in a bear- well, you suppose a tiger hug and his cheek is mashed against the top of your head. You don’t even think he’s actively scenting you at this point, just keeping you from leaving. “Send your assistant instead and stay here with us.”
You let out a puff of laughter and pat the hybrid on the back in a way you hope is soothing. “Mr. Seo isn’t my assistant, buddy, he’s my uncle’s attorney.” You give a little tug away from him and he lets you go, albeit with a sad little mrow that makes him sound just like a disappointed cat. “I couldn’t ask him to do that. The only reason he’s coming is because they broke the contract. And I can’t drive.”
The look Taehyung gives you is so downtrodden that you toy with the idea of calling the whole day off and staying with them- but no. You can’t bail out now, especially not with what you’d put Mr. Seo through when the first group of hybrids were delivered. “I’ll be back before you know it,” You tell him with a steadfast smile.
“You’d better,” Jimin says, nudging the taller hybrid out of the way. Taehyung gives a half-hearted growl, but settles as Yoongi squeezes his shoulder. “The longer you’re away, the longer you’ll have to sit in the stench of those mutts.”
You frown. “Jimin-”
“Only joking,” He soothes, bringing both of your hands up to his cheeks. You don’t believe him, but you don’t press it. The leopard hybrid nuzzles into your palms, purring happily at the feeling of your skin against his. Your palms nearly burn from how warm he is. You feel a warm puff of air against your fingers and tense as Jimin presses all ten of them against his lips.
“Jimin.” Yoongi’s voice is hard, but his junior’s lips curl up in a satisfied smile, one of his incisors pricking at the pad of your index finger.
“Hurry back,” he murmurs. You try not to shiver at the feeling of his plush lips moving against your oversensitive fingertips.
“I’ll do my best!” You say, a pained smile tugging your lips apart. He hums in response and drops your hands, his fingers trailing across yours as he lets you go.
“Hyung,” he calls over his shoulder. “Is there anything you’d like to say to Y/N-ah?”
“Don’t let them scent you.” Is all Yoongi says as he breezes toward the stairs. “You know better now.”
It’s as much as you were expecting. “I’ll see you guys later,” You tell them as you head out the door. “Finish setting your phones up and text me if you need anything!”
True to his word, Mr. Seo is parked out front at 4 o’clock on the dot. You haven’t seen him in a little over a week and you’d almost forgotten how imposing he was. He cuts a sharp figure against the backdrop of the bustling street, dressed in all black and leaning against a brand new Buick Enclave. The poor valet stationed at the front door looks like he’s been trying to work up the courage to ask to park his car for the past twenty minutes and sags in relief as you start heading over.
The lawyer dips his head in acknowledgement at you and checks his watch. “Miracle of miracles,” he says, popping open the passenger side door for you. “You’re on time.”
“I was late one time,” you huff, sliding past him and into your seat.
“And that was enough,” he snips back, closing your door before you can come up with a retort. You grumble to yourself, but don’t press him. You know he’s right. He’d gone out of his way to help you and you’d put him out.
“I’m sorry,” you tell him as he settles into his seat and reaches for his seatbelt. “It won’t happen again; I know you’ve got other things to do.”
He stills and looks at you over the gold frames of his glasses. For a long moment he holds your gaze, unblinking. You gnaw on the inside of your cheek. Had you done something wrong?
Finally Mr. Seo blinks and finishes buckling himself in. “I apologize for staring, I wasn’t sure if I’d heard you correctly.” He push starts his car and pulls away from the curb. “I never thought I’d see the day a L/N would apologize to me.” He edges the car into the steady stream of Seoul traffic and you’re off, zooming toward the freeway.
Silence fills the car again, but as Mr. Seo takes on-ramp, you work up the courage to ask your question. “Did Oliver never apologize to you?”
Mr. Seo snorts and it’s such an undignified sound that you almost can’t believe it comes from him. “You could tell your uncle the sky was blue and he’d argue that it was red until he was. And your grandfather-” He seems to catch himself, reigning back whatever meager bits of his personality had managed to slip through the cracks in his normally flawless veneer. You’re all ears.
Up until a week and a half ago, you hadn’t known you had any family, much less an uncle who owned buildings and bugattis. Now you were finding out that you had a grandfather too. “What about my grandfather?” The word feels strange in your mouth. It’d been years since you’d followed the word ‘my’ up with any type of familial relation.
Mr. Seo cuts his eyes at you, and flicks them back to the front. “Nothing,” he replies, clearly done talking about him. “I spoke out of turn.” He reaches forward and turns on the radio, the sound of national news filling the silence.
You pout and slouch in your seat, disappointment setting in as the promise of new information slipped out of your grasp.
The rest of the drive is easy. Mr. Seo takes the highway out of Seoul and up into the foothills but you’re asleep before he even finds the exit. You’d slept more in the past two days than you had in the previous three weeks, but it seemed like years of bad habits were catching up to you.
Last night, you’d passed out halfway through the second movie snuggled up between Jimin and Taehyung. They’d been so warm and soft and the quiet thrumming of their heartbeats had lulled you to sleep before you knew what was happening.You’d woken up with them still curled around you and -maybe most surprising of all- Yoongi plating breakfast in the kitchen.
Still, it seemed even twelve hours of the best sleep you’d gotten in years and a peaceful morning devoid of stress -for the most part- hadn’t been enough.
You wake up just as the asphalt transitions into gravel, the sound of it crunching under the tires and the car’s shaking waking you up. You’re bleary-eyed and confused, but a sign up ahead snaps you to wakefulness. Standing like a guardian over a chain link fence topped with barbed wire is a metal sign, imposing as it is tall: Black Mountain K-9s, written in stark font.
“We’re here,” Mr. Seo says, as if it’s not obvious. He kills the engine and without its purring to distract you, you feel nerves starting to boil in your belly. What kind of place was this? You half expect sinister organ music to kick on and lightning to start flashing from black clouds. Neither of those things happen, though. The sky remains startlingly clear and the only things you can pick up are the sounds of whistles being blown, dozens of people doing call and response, and one voice, louder than all the others screaming for people to ‘Run faster! Get those knees up!’
You pop the door and step out of the car before Mr. Seo can open it for you and head around to the nose of the car, taking in the compound.
“This facility produces some of the highest caliber bodyguards in the country,” He says, coming to stand beside you. The attorney rebuttons his suit jacket and flicks his sleeves up before settling his arms over his chest. “Politicians, celebrities, even a few former presidents all have hybrids from this training center.”
“It looks more like a prison,” You remark, nodding toward the barbed wire. “First big cat hybrids, now this...Why didn’t Oliver just get regular pets if he was lonely? Was he worried someone was after him?”
“Anything I can tell you would be pure speculation,” He replies, walking away from you and heading for the callbox. “Your uncle very rarely confided in me.”
“But you were his attorney.”
For just a second, the tight grip Mr. Seo has on his composure slips. His lips press together and his shoulders sag- but just as quickly as it’d lapsed, his mask is in place again. “Yes,” he says after a beat. “I was.” And he presses the button on the call box before you can pester him with any more questions about the dead men he’d known.
The call box crackles to life, speakers squealing with feedback. You flinch and slap your hands over your ears to protect them from the splitting sound. Mr. Seo doesn’t react at all and you’re stunned, wondering how he can stand it.
“Seo Seunghan and Y/N L/N for Lim Hangyeol.”
The person on the other end doesn’t respond. The speaker cuts and a second later, the metal gate before you starts rolling to the side, pushed by invisible hands. It’s like a curtain going up at the theater.
Before you lies a wide, dusty yard, devoid of any plant life. The thick-trunked trees and lush grasses of the surrounding mountainside had been stripped down to the roots here. All that remains are a few weeds poking out around the base of the long metal buildings that ring the fence, and even those seem like an intrusion. People are making use of the space in whatever way they can. A group of people with matching cropped black ears and docked tails run past you in four straight lines, all perfectly in step with each other. Over to your right, there’s a pack of teenagers working in pairs to scale a ten-foot tall sheer wooden wall and in the center of the field, twenty kids are running through taekwondo forms, supervised by a widely smiling instructor.
You’re in awe of it all. Every single person is like a cog in a well-oiled machine, all in the same black tactical pants and compression shirt. You’d never seen so many hybrids in one place before and certainly not all of the same breed.
Mr. Seo places a hand in the center of your back, steering you away from staring and toward a squat cement building.You let him lead you.
“When we get inside,” the lawyer begins, his voice quieter than you’ve ever heard it. “Let me speak first. If we can get him to admit to breaching the contract right away, it’ll be much easier to get him to agree to a settlement.”
You frown at that. “Why would we settle?” You ask him. “It’s not like I need the money.”
“It’s a matter of principle, Ms. L/N.” He sighs, pulling open the heavy metal door and ushering you into the building. “He did something wrong, and it’s most easy for him to bear the brunt of atonement financially. Without requiring damages be paid for breaches, contract law would collapse.”
“Can’t you just have him apologize?”
Mr. Seo’s mouth twists up like he’s just tasted something unpleasant. “As you attorney, it is my duty to advise you against accepting restitution in the form of an apology. You’ll get a reputation for being a pushover.”
You wanted to be anything but. “Alright, alright,” you concede, “Do whatever you think is best.”
The building you’ve ducked into seems to be an office. Along one wall are a set of metal folding chairs doing their best impression of a waiting room. Along the other is a metal door covered in peeling paint and one suspicious dent bearing a plaque that reads ‘DIRECTOR LIM’. Set between you and it is a desk covered in a mess of paperwork. An old desktop stands among it like an island in the ocean and middle aged hybrid woman in coke bottle glasses is hunched before it, tapping away at the keyboard at a mind-boggling speed. One of her ears twitches as the pair of you approach.
“Take a seat,” she orders in a reedy voice, not bothering to look up from her work. “The Director will be with you shortly.”
“Send them in, Eunjung!” Someone shouts from behind the metal door just as she’s finished. She doesn’t look up or stop typing or even acknowledge you two again. Mr. Seo takes it upon himself to breeze past her desk and open the door for you.
The office is militaristically organized, all right angles and bare metal surfaces. There’s a black leather couch that’d seen better days to your left as you enter, a half empty water cooler to your right. Bookshelves lined with trophies and textbooks dominate the western wall. You scan the titles as you pass: Predatory Instinct: The Teaching and Training Canines, The Utility of Force, On Raising Hybrids, The Art of War, all dangerous and daunting as the man they belonged to.
Lim Hangyeol is the most grizzled man you’ve ever seen and the only other human besides yourself and Mr. Seo in the compound, it seems. He looks like a drill sergeant from an old action movie, his salt and pepper hair buzzed short and his face craggy with frown lines. There’s a semicircle of pockmark scars marring the skin of his right cheek and as you get closer, you realize they’re teeth marks. You shoot a concerned look to Mr. Seo, but he’s more focused on giving the director a shallow bow than allaying any of your fears.
“Director,” He says, straightening back up. “Thank you for having us-”
“Spare me the bullshit,” The older man orders, kicking back his office chair and sinking back into it. “Take a seat. Let’s talk business.”
A cold smile settles on your attorney’s lips and you see a cord twitching in his jaw, but he merely nods and replies in a breezy voice, “Of course.”
The two of you do as you told, settling into two metal chairs in front of his desk. These ones are nicer than the folding ones in the waiting room, but no more comfortable. You try to slide yours forward only to find that it’s bolted to the floor.
“Stops the dogs from throwin’ em when they get bad news,” Director Lim tells you as you uselessly tug at the legs. “Got tired of replacing windows.”
You grimace. If the awards on the bookshelf, what Mr. Seo had told you and the dozens of hybrids running boot camp drills outside were any indication, the man before you must’ve had some idea what he was doing. You didn’t end up providing security for high profile public figures without a smidge of credibility, you knew, but the bite marks on his cheek, the little crack about people throwing chairs at him and the way he’d referred to them as ‘dogs’ didn’t inspire confidence in you.
This was your first time visiting a place that produced hybrids, you realized. You’d never even been into a shelter before and certainly not a breeding center. Were they all like this? Devoid of anything soft or comforting, rigid with rules and regulations? Had Yoongi, Jimin and Taehyung come from a place like this? You don’t know and you’re not sure you’d like the answer if you did.
“Thank you for agreeing to meet with us on such short notice,” Mr. Seo starts, popping open the hinges on his briefcase and pulling out a few sheaves of paper. “After the sudden cancellation of your company’s contract with Ms. L/N, I was concerned for the state of our business relationship.” He slides one of the packets across the desk to the director.
“If I remember correctly,” Director Lim says, scanning the lines of ink and unintelligible legalese, “Me and your boss signed for delivery, not me and whoever this little girl is you brought.”
Your eyes narrow and your lips curl, but before you can give voice to the nasty thing crawling up your throat, Mr. Seo gives a subtle shake of his head and taps you twice on the knee, out of eyeshot of the director. You grumble, but cage it behind your teeth.
“See?” The man jabs one gnarled finger at the page, right over your late uncle’s flourishing signature. “It says it right there: L/N Oliver. Last I checked, he was dead. I’m not holding on to a dead man’s dogs. ”
That same muscle tenses in Mr. Seo’s jaw. “The contract states that Black Mountain Canines would deliver the hybrids my client purchased to his residence on December the eighteenth and that they would be received by a proxy if he was unavailable. You were made aware of the fact that he was unavailable, as well as the fact that he now has a proxy-
“I’ll pay the goddamn fine!” The Director barks, throwing his hands up in the air. “Christ above, I don’t know why he wanted those two fuck-ups in the first place, but I don’t want them on my property a second longer.”
You shoot Mr. Seo a look of confusion, but he just watches, blasé, as the Director rifles through his desk drawers. The man finds what he’s looking for and drops two manila folders on top of the contract. “The pair of them are useless. If it weren’t for my reputation, I’d’ve had them both sent to shelters years ago. Or put down, but you know how touchy the law is about that.”
“I don’t.” You say, your voice edging dangerously close to a snarl. It slips out before you can stop it. Mr. Seo shoots you a warning look and you ball your fists up in your sweater sleeves, fingernails biting crescent moons into your palms with the effort of keeping your mouth shut.
You can’t stand this man, you decide. He’s awful. You should’ve known that from the moment you saw elementary school aged hybrids stumbling through taekwondo drills with their ears taped and bandages on their tails. You’re going to take whatever hybrids Oliver bought, get them the fuck out of there and never look back.
If Director Lim had heard you growl at him, he gives no sign of it, just flips open the folders. “To be honest, I should be paying you to take them off my hands. They’ve been nothing but a pain in my ass since they aged out of training. I told your uncle he could have his pick of the litter for what he was paying, but he wanted a wide-eyed buffoon and a mutt who’d rip your hand off soon as look at you.” Clipped to the insides are photos of two men, staring back at you in black and white.
One has the same black and tan cropped ears as every other hybrid you’ve seen thus far. Unlike them, he’s smiling. His eyes are little upturned crescent moons and he beams at you through the photo paper. There’s so much light in his face it’s nearly blinding.
The other is not nearly as inviting. The photo is taken at an odd angle and it’s blurry at the edges, like whoever took it was much shorter than the subject and had to zoom in to even get the shot. His ears, larger than any of the other hybrids and longer furred, are pinned back against his head. His jaw is clenched and he glowers down into the lens, one eye soot black and the other piercing blue.
There are stats listed on the pages behind their photos: height, weight, shot records and the like. Among them, you see their call signs, highlighted in yellow: Hope and Monster.
“I don’t know where I went wrong with him,” the director says, tapping Hope’s photo. “He went through all the training, passed all the tests, but when it comes down to it, he just doesn’t have the instinct.” He gives a single shake of his head, clicks the tip of his tongue against his teeth. “No one wants a guard dog that’d sooner talk an intruder’s ear off than actually guard what he’s supposed to. He’s not good for much but nannying the pups, but he’s too soft on them too.”
A light bulb clicks on and you realize the hybrid in question had been the one instructing the kids outside in the center of the yard, his tail wagging a mile a minute as they completed another form correctly.
“Now this bastard…” the director continues, jamming a finger onto the second photo with so much force, it rattled the cup of pens on his desk. “Is my biggest failure.” He crosses his arms and kicks back in his chair, his dislike of the hybrid in question obvious. “His mother was the cornerstone of this facility for nearly a decade. I sold her pups to assemblymen and actors alike. Centers around the country wanted pups with her genetics. If it weren’t for her, we’d never have grown to this size.” He sounds wistful as he spreads his hands out, gesturing around himself like a king taking in his holdings. “But all good things come to an end,” He sighs. “A pack of wild hybrids settled a little higher up on the mountain.” His face darkens and his lips twist. “Wolves,” he snarls with all the disdain he can muster.
“All that about them being noble and self-sacrificing? Complete and utter bullshit,” He scoffs. “They’re transient lowlifes who’d slit your throat as soon as look at you. At first I didn’t care. They stayed on their side of the mountain and I stayed on mine, but then they started sneaking down here at night to steal my food and fuck my dogs. By the time I managed to get the cops out here, they’d cleared out and my top breeder had gone with them.”
He let out a low chuckle and shook his head. “I tell you, I thought I was ruined. But wouldn’t you know it, she came stumbling back here six months later, barefoot and howling to be let in and heavy with some wild thing’s pup.” Director Lim snaps both the folders shut and slides them to you across the desk. “The thing about breeding hybrids is, the money’s all in the bloodlines. No one wants a dog with mystery genetics. The only way to solve that problem is to cut it off at the root- but it was already too late by the time she got here.”
You feel sick to your stomach. You hope he isn’t implying what you think he is- that hybrid children he hadn’t planned out himself were mistakes in need of correction- but you know he is. Deep in your gut you know.
“And she spoiled him. She let him run roughshod over everyone and everybody in this compound. I tried telling her wild hybrids need a firmer hand- he certainly did if we were gonna break that wolf he’s got inside him, but she wouldn’t hear it. I tried to crop him with the other pups his age, he gave me these,” he said, gesturing to the teeth marks in his cheeks. “We keep him shut up away from the others, now, in the back when he can’t bother anyone. He gets his meals delivered but we don’t ever let him out.” The grizzled man shakes his head. “A drain on resources is what he is.”
“And his mother?” You ask, quietly.
“Eunjung?” he questions. “You met her on the way in.” The director stands and unclips a ring of keys from his belt buckle, making his way around the desk and gesturing for you and Mr. Seo to follow. “I’ve got her doing desk work now. Gotta keep her close so she doesn’t cause any more trouble.” He pushes open the door to his office, barks something at his secretary and steps outside, not looking back to see if you two are following.
You shoot Mr. Seo a look before you stand and he meets it, evenly. “We’ll discuss this in the car,” he says, stuffing papers back into his briefcase and flicking the clasps shut. Oh, you most certainly will discuss ‘it’ in the car.
You don’t really know what it is or where to even begin. The kids with bandaged ears? The fact that Director Lim seemingly decided who was allowed to see the sun and who wasn’t? You think back to the conversation you’d had with Jimin, Taehyung and Yoongi last night. Right now, it seems years away, in some unreachable, idyllic past before you knew how breeding centers worked and how security hybrids were made. You feel foolish. Who were you to try to get them to let go of their pain and their hurt? If what they’d been through was even a little like what was going on here, they wouldn’t be able to for a long time. You’re angry. You’re disgusted. You are unquantifiably fucking sad.
You pass Eunjung on your way out. In your time in the director’s office, she’s pulled her ash brown hair into a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. Peeking out of the collar of her sweatshirt you can see a faded scar in the shape of a ring, little puncture marks pale and glossy. It looked similar to the one on the director’s cheek, but this one was a complete circle and not ragged at all, like she’d stayed completely still while it was given. Teeth marks.
You swallow. You want to do something, to give her some words of encouragement, but you have no idea what to say. You still don’t as you slow to a stop beside her desk, but you open your mouth to speak anyway. “I’m sorry,” You tell her, with all the sincerity in your heart.
She doesn’t answer, but one cropped ear flicks toward you and her fingers slow in their incessant race across her keyboard.
You turn to go. Mr. Seo was holding the door open for you and you can hear the director barking orders at a group of trainees to run an obstacle course faster. Just as you set foot over the threshold, she speaks. Her voice is so quiet, you have to strain to hear her over the steady clack-click-clack of her nails on the keys.
“He likes green things,” she says, not looking up from her work. “And old books.”
You look over your shoulder at her. Her face is a mask of neutrality, her eyes clear and her mouth set in a relaxed line. She looks fine, but there’s an ocean of meaning behind her words. You see her, just for a moment, as she’d been all those years ago, barefoot in the snow and begging for shelter, her stomach full with one of the moon’s own children. You commit the sight of her to memory. Then you turn and you go.
The director is waiting outside, shielding his eyes from the sun and regaling Mr. Seo with some long-winded explanation on the best way to treat hip dysplasia in Doberman hybrids. “Where to?” you ask, effectively cutting him off mid-sentence.
The man gives you a disgruntled look but despite the anxiety you feel spiking in your belly, you meet it evenly. Once upon a time, anyone in a position of authority looking at you the way he was would’ve sent you into a tailspin of self-doubt and nerves, leaving you shivering as your heartbeat thrummed in your ears, warning you of non-existent danger. If you were honest, it still did- but you didn’t have the luxury of running away and hiding anymore, not when there were people who needed you.
“Hope’s bags are in the barracks. He just needs to grab them, and he can be on his merry way,” The direction grunts. “Monster’s still locked up, so I’ll-”
“I’ll go.” You can feel Mr. Seo stiffen beside you.
“Ms. Y/N-”
“If he’s really that aggressive,” you start, your eyes not leaving the director’s for a moment. “Wouldn’t it be better for me to meet him now instead of when we’re packed into a car on a two hour car ride?” Director Lim narrows his eyes at you, but you don’t falter. You hold your hand out for the key. Your boldness surprises you. He drops the key ring into your open palm and you wrap your fingers around it, stuffing it in your pocket before he can snatch them back. You turn on your heels and march off in the direction he tilts his head in, nothing but a hiss of your name from Mr. Seo’s lips to accompany you.
You walk quickly, eyes straight and willing your legs to go faster with every stride. It’s a long way across the compound but the less time you spend walking, the less time you have to stew in anxiety. None of the hybrids training in little packs spread across the yard pay you any mind- except for Hope.
Your path takes you directly behind the group of kids he’s working with. You give them a wide berth, not wanting to disturb them, but you get a little distracted. Your steps slow for just a moment as you drink him in. He’s tall- the same height as Taehyung, if you’re judging it right, but there’s an ease about him the tiger hybrid hasn’t yet mastered. Everything about Taehyung is pulled in. He’s always coiled tight, like he’s preparing to spring forward at any moment, all his energy drawn into the center of his being. Even last night, when you’d been cuddled up with him on the couch, he’d pulled you tight against his side, shifting and rearranging himself til you both fit on one cushion. He’d held you tight through both films, his tail curled around the both of you and his spine tight, like if he let himself relax for a moment, you’d both turn to dust on the wind.
Hope has no such fear. Everything about him is spread wide open, from the heart-shaped smile on his lips to his arms as he demonstrates a series of punches to his little pack of students. They all watch him with rapt attention, ears perked up and bandaged tails wagging. One of them asks him a question and he laughs, ruffles their hair. He laughs in a way you’ve never seen before, shoulders shaking like he can’t contain the force of it alone. It makes your heart flip.
His ears twitch, picking up the change in the cadence of your footsteps. He looks up and your eyes meet for the first time. He looks surprised to see you, for a moment, face blank- but then it melts into a soft smile, brimming with affection you’ve done nothing to earn. You snatch your gaze away and fix it to the dirt in front of you, embarrassed at being caught. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see him cock his head to the side in confusion, but he doesn’t go after you. All the better, you’re all but running away from him now.
You shuffle across the compound in a blur of scuffed sneakers and frayed nerves. You barely give yourself time to look up at the small cinder block building before you, shoving the key in the padlock before you can lose what unearned confidence you have left. You twist it, yank the rusted thing open, take a deep breath and enter.
You don’t know what you’d been expecting, but it’s certainly not what you find. The way Director Lim had spoken about him and this place, you’d been expecting cobwebs on the ceiling, blood spatters on the wall and rusty nails on the floor. What’s before you is almost entirely the opposite.
The room is a veritable Eden.
There are vines climbing every available wall, wrapping around structural posts and digging their way between concrete blocks. Every surface is crammed full of flowering plants in makeshift pots: lilies in old water jugs, violets in a worn out boot, black-eyed susans dripping orange petals from an upturned helmet. The floor is in a similar state, ferns and foxgloves turning what little space around his bed there is into a meadow. It’s beautiful.
“He likes green things,” you marvel, stepping into the room and pushing the door shut behind you. It seemed every living thing that’d been uprooted to expand the compound had found a second life here, sheltered from the Director’s violence. Maybe the hybrid who lived here had too.
A plant different from all the others catches your eye. It’s set up on the cardboard box serving as his bedside table and it’s the only one in a real pot from what you can tell. It looks just like a miniature tree, complete with knobs on it’s trunk and tiny leaves. You let out a little sound of wonder and crouch in front of it, your fingers reaching out on their own to trail across the delicate branches-
A massive hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you cold. “Don’t touch that.”
You hadn’t heard him approach, but now you knew he was there. You could feel his presence behind you, heavy and warm. He’s looming over you. You swallow and make your arm go limp in his grip. No need to give him a reason. “I won’t,” You tell him. “Will you please let go of my wrist?”
He drops your arm without protest and relief floods your body. You weren’t sure if there was a hybrid version of lockjaw and you certainly weren’t itching to find out. You sit back on your heels and struggle to your feet, still hyper aware of the person behind you, his eyes boring holes into the back of your head. By the time you turn around, he’s back where he came from, standing in the entrance for a bathroom you hadn’t seen, half hidden behind a curtain of vines.
He looks different than the others. You’d been expecting that, but the full-length fluffy tail held stiffly behind his back and the long-furred ears pointed away from you are still a surprise. His fur, instead of being in rigid black and tan points, is marked by whorls of black, brown and gray. Instead of the lean musculature all the other hybrids had -all trim waists and narrow ankles- he’s sturdier, his shoulders broad and the veins in his forearms popping as he clenches his fists. He’s looking at you with that mismatched glare, his chin tilted toward his chest and his eyes shining aquamarine and obsidian.
“If you’re new,” he starts, voice raspy. “They should’ve told you: you’re supposed to knock before you come in.”
“No, I’m not-”
“You can leave the food over there.” He nods toward a little plastic folding table jammed into one corner. It’s the one surface in his room that’s devoid of plants and there’s nothing on it besides a metal cafeteria tray, licked clean. “I won’t move when your back is turned.”
“I’m not here to deliver your food.”
He frowns, brows drawing together as his shoulders tense. “Then why are you…?”
You ball your hands up in your sweater sleeves and turn to face him full on. “I’m here to take you home with me.” You tell him. “They didn’t tell you?”
He laughs, but it’s a cold sound, devoid of joy. “Nobody tells me anything.”
Based on the short conversation you’d had with Director Lim, his sudden cancellation of contracts and the way he seemed ready to bulldoze over anything and everyone that didn’t fit his agenda, he didn’t seem the sharing type. Still it was hard to believe he hadn’t told him he’d be leaving the compound that’s been his home for over twenty years.
“You don’t have to come with me,” you add, softly. “If you don’t want to. I know I’m a stranger. But you can leave-”
“I can’t go anywhere.” He taps the collar around his neck. At first, you’d thought it was the same as the ones every other hybrid had been wearing. You can see now that it isn’t. Theirs had all been leather with thin silver buckles holding them in place. His was leather too, but the band was broader and double-layered. There’s a little box on the side with hinges and a small drawing of a lighting bolt. A shock collar.
Your stomach turns.
You take a slow step toward him, but the second you do, his ears go flat against his head and he pulls his lips back, revealing sharp teeth. You freeze, hands held up and the keys dangling from your thumb. “I have the keys,” you say, extending them toward him.
His eyes flick from your face, to the keys in your hand and back again, like he doesn’t believe what’s happening, like he can’t believe you’d actually want him free. The silence drags out into a little eternity before he speaks again. “If I try to unlock it, it’ll shock me.”
You blink up at him and risk another slow step forward, hoping you’ve caught his meaning correctly. This time, he doesn’t growl but his ears stay pinned back as he watches you through narrowed eyes. You close the distance between the two of you.
When you were six, your mom scraped together enough money to take you to Busan for your birthday. You’d spent the day down at the beach, building sand castles with sea shell windows and wading through tide pools. After the sun had set, someone had set off fireworks and you’d watched them cuddled up in your mom’s arms, eyes wide and filled with a riot of colors you had no name for. It’s strange, you know. The ocean is miles away, but that’s what he smells like: the sea and the sand, and the last curls of smoke from homemade bottle rockets. He smells like that day.
You lift your hands to the clasp on his neck and slide the key home. You twist it and the collar falls to the ground, a monster that can’t hurt him anymore. His skin is warm under your fingers, but puckered with scar tissue. There’s a ring of it around his neck, branching with whatever current had run through him in different directions. There’s no way this was legal, no way anyone with half a heart could treat another person like this. Your fingers trail one of the splits over his adam’s apple and he swallows beneath your touch, snatching your wrist again.
“Dont.” His voice is cold. You blink, shaking off whatever spell you’d been under and shuffle back quickly, eager to give him space. He cradles his throat with one long-fingered hand, massaging the skin. He rolls his neck and you look away. You shouldn’t stare; the last thing you want is to make him uncomfortable. “I’ll go with you,” he rasps, answering the question before you can ask it again.
You gape for a second. You really hadn’t expected it to be that easy. “Really?” You can’t stop a note of relief from creeping into your voice.
“Anywhere’s better than here.” He answers back. So, you were a means to an end. It doesn’t bother you. You’ll be whatever you need to be to get him away from this place and that man who seemed to only want to drive him down.
“Do you need time to pack, or-?”
He gives a firm shake of his head. “There’s nothing from this place I want to keep.” And that’s the end of it. You push open the door and stride back out into the cold mountain air, trying your best to exude the confidence you know you lack. The hybrid slinks behind you, head hunched between his shoulders and every step stiff. He hesitates at the threshold and looks up at you, uncertainty written in the rigid line of his spine. He’s nervous. He has every right to be.
How long had he spent in that little cinderblock room, shut away from every living thing? How long had he spent being told that he was a monster? You didn’t believe it, not for one second. No one who was as violent as the director had painted him out to be could’ve raised that garden.
He leans out of the door frame, sniffs the air and lurches forward, out of the shadow of his room, His shoulders bunch up even higher around his head and he goes stiff like he’s waiting for a shock or a shot or a shout- but none comes. The sun is still shining and he’s barefoot in the sand, standing for the first time in years under the open sky. He exhales in a short puff and it looks like he’s going to walk beside you- but he turns on his heels on goes back inside.
You make a little noise of distress in the back of your throat. Had he changed his mind? Did he not want to come with you anymore? You go to call his name out of concern- but realize you don’t know it. All you have is the call sign he’d been given and you sure as fuck aren’t calling him ‘Monster’. You don’t have to flounder for long. He comes back out two seconds later, cradling the bonsai that’d caught your attention to his chest.
“I’ll take this,” he mutters, shuffling into place behind you. You can’t smother the smile that starts tugging at your lips. Yeah, no one hateful would hold a little tree with as much tenderness as an infant.
You give him a little nod. “There’s a terrace where I live,” you tell him, starting your trek across the yard once again. “It’s got a garden and a little greenhouse on it. It’s not very big, and it’s not as pretty as your’s, but you could grow new things there, if you wanted.”
His ears twitch in response, but he keeps his glower firmly focused on the plant in his arms as he shuffles along beside you. It’s then you notice he’s barefoot. “Do you wanna go back and get your shoes?” You ask, trying to make the question sound as innocuous as possible.
“Don’t have any,” he grumbles back. “Don’t need them; I never go outside.”
Alright, that was understandable. Your first stop when you got back into the city would be a shoe store to get him a pair to wear- or maybe not with the way he kept flinching every time a whistle blew and his ears were swivelling like satellites at each new sound that reached them. You chew the inside of your lip. You don’t want to ask, but you know you should. Better to rip the bandaid off now, than get surprised later. “How long were you shut in for?”
“Fourteen.” He bites out.
“...weeks?” You venture. There's a hopeful uptick at the end of your words. Even that would’ve been horrible, even that would be worthy of the litany of profanity you’re mentally lobbing at Director Lim- but it’s still better than the truth.
The hybrid cuts a flat look at you out of the corner of his eyes. “Years.”
A wall of your scent hits him like a freight train, vacillating between the thick, cloying odor of sadness and the burn of anger. His nose wrinkles at it, brows drawing together in confusion.
However little you might’ve known about hybrids, however limited your view of them was, you knew they weren’t supposed to be locked up. Domesticated hybrids like hamsters and cats might’ve been fine inside a house all day, assuming they still had regular interaction with people- but dogs weren’t. And he was half wolf. Wild, he’d have had dozens of square miles to roam over, and he’d been limited to a four-by-four yard room for fourteen years. Your goshiwon was a similar size, but it hadn’t been your whole world. All he’d had was one tiny window and what narrow view he’d managed to glimpse in the doorway when his meals were delivered.
You open your mouth to say something, anything, but you’re cut off by a scream of delight and a snarl keying up in the hybrid next to you’s chest. Your jaw snaps shut with a click.
A few yards ahead, there’s a group of kids wrestling in a massive pile. They’re all giggling and rolling over each other, tails wagging a mile a minute as they play bite and make grabs for the person at the center of their puppy pile. A head of black hair and a pair of cropped ears pop up and you see that it’s Hope, smiling bright as the sun as his students try to pin him.
“You can’t leave!” One particularly determined kid yips, adamantly pushing his shoulder back to the sand. “Who’s gonna teach us?”
Hope just laughs.”Lisa is gonna teach you with the older kids-“
A chorus of disappointed barks and howls breaks out. “Ms. Lisa’s classes are too hard!” A little girl complains.
“Yeah!” Someone else chimes in. “And she’s strict!”
The hybrid ruffles both kid’s hair affectionately, careful of their bandaged ears. “Just because she won’t let you get away with skipping night practice doesn’t mean she’s strict,” he laughs. He’s only met with more grumbles and complaints.
It warms your heart to see. Even if these kids were at the mercy of their director -for now, at least- it was good that they had him to rely on. Your eyes meet and the sheer force of light in his face makes your own heat up. You look away, but he’s spotted you. He disentangles himself from the mess of kids and draws himself up to his full height. He’s in the same uniform he was in before, albeit with a black tactical bag now strapped to his back. He takes a step toward you and the wolfdog hybrid's ears go flat against his skull. He’s not deterred. “Joonie?” It takes you a second to realize he’s talking to the hybrid next to you. “Kim Namjoon, is that you?” Hope takes one step forward and the hybrid - Namjoon - takes a step back to counter him. Hope looks like he’s going to advance again, but a small pair of hands wrapped around one of his own stops him.
A little girl is holding on to him. She can’t be more than six years old. Her tail is still long and her ears are still floppy and she looks so small in her child-sized boots and cargo pants. “Mr. Hobi,” she whines, her head craned back to look up at him. “Please don’t go.”
He falters. His eyes flick from the pair of you back down to her, then he crouches, holds both of her hands in his. “I have to, Sowon-ah,” he says softly.
She sniffles pitifully and juts out her lower lip.”But why?”
It’s a fair question. You’re about to tell him that he doesn’t have to come with you if he doesn’t want to, but he beats you to the punch. “Because it’s my job, sweetheart,” he tells her, smiling softly.
“Y-your job is to teach us,” she hiccups back, face growing blotchy as tears well up in her eyes. Hope swipes one of them away with his thumbs.
“I teach you so you can grow up well and protect your person, right?” She nods, little hands balling the fabric of her cargo pants up in her fists. “Right. Well this,” he continues, turning and looking at you with a soft smile. “Is my person. And I’ve gotta go make sure she stays safe.”
You feel your heart jump into your throat. He’s looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky and you don’t deserve it. You’ve done nothing to warrant that much unearned loyalty. Sowon rubs at her eyes with the back of her hands and Hope pulls her into a tight hug.
“Ah, don’t cry, Sowon! You’ve gotta make sure you get stronger so someone takes you home, okay? You don’t wanna get old and still be here like me, right?” He squeezes her and goes to stand, but gets mobbed by his students again, all wanting their own hugs and making him swear to write them letters. It takes another five minutes of tearful goodbyes and Director Lim approaching for them to turn him loose.
“Get back to your training, all of you!” He barks, stomping out of the office and slamming the door, Mr. Seo on his heels. The kids scatter to the four winds almost instantly, not wanting to be underfoot for whatever scolding the director was about to deal out. Hope’s face remains the same but you catch his ears droop just a little as his students leave him. The wolfdog hybrid- Namjoon, you remind yourself- on the other hand has his ears flat against his skull. A growl bubbles up in his chest and rips past his lips. It’s a dark, full bodied thing that has you taking a step back and Hope shrinking with a whine.
“Joonie-” he pleads.
“Don’t fucking call me that.” All the fur on Namjoon’s body is standing on end, from the points of his ears to the tip of his tail. Even his hair has fluffed out. His mismatched eyes are narrowed, lips pulled back in a snarl that reveals his incisors and all that fury, all that rage, is leveled on Director Lim.
To his credit, the grizzled man doesn’t shrink back an inch before the enraged hybrid. His lips twist and he yanks a little remote out of his pocket, mashing a red button in the center. Namjoon flinches, his hands fly to his neck- but nothing happens. The shock collar is gone and the director has no power over him anymore.
The man in question’s eyes widen, flicking between the remote to the column of Namjoon’s throat, now devoid of his one element of control. “Where’s his collar?” He demands. “How the hell did you get your collar off?” He advances on the tall hybrid, his hand in the air and though he doesn’t stop snarling, Namjoon ducks his head, anticipating the blow.
You don’t know what moves you. Maybe it’s Hope pleading for it all to ‘stop, just stop!’. Maybit’s how Namjoon knows exactly how to move when he’s about to get hit. Maybe it’s your own lack of self-preservation. Whatever it is, you blink and you’re in front of Namjoon, your hand up and clutching the director’s forearm, stopping him from striking the hybrid behind you. You’re not strong enough to stop him, not fully. Your elbow buckles in and you stumble back, your back pressing into the wolfdog hybrid’s chest.
The director yells something at you, red flooding his face. You can’t hear him over the rushing of blood in your ears, the pounding of your heart. You force a dry swallow down your throat, put on your bravest face and glare up at him. “Don’t hurt him anymore.”
He reaches out with his free hand to tug you out of the way, but before he can touch you, Hope is there. He presses close to your side and holds the director’s wrist firm, his eyes on the sand and his shoulders hunched up by his ears.
Director Lim looks angry enough to spit. “Hell of a time for you to grow a backbone,” he snarls at Hope, making the doberman hybrid flinch. “I want all four of you off my property now.” He snatched his arms free and you don’t miss the nasty glare he casts at Namjoon. “And if this mutt ever shows his face around here again, I’ll-”
“Director Lim,” Mr. Seo cuts in, his voice cool. “You’ve made yourself clear; we’ll leave. You needn’t make threats.” There’s an underlying warning in the attorney’s voice. The director locks his jaw.
“Get out.” He breathes. Hope ducks around him, his head low and his docked tail pressed close to his back. If he could tuck it, you think he would. You follow after him, eyes fixed straight ahead and your back ramrod straight. He might’ve scared the shit out of you, but you weren’t going to let him see that. Mr. Seo fixes you with a hard look and the second you’re within arms reach, he presses a hand to your back and ushers you toward the gate. The only one who remains is Namjoon.
He looks like his anger has rooted him to the spot. His ears are still flat against his head, his lip still curled.
“Do it, boy,” the director taunts. “Give me a reason-”
“Namjoon.” At the sound of his name, his ears prick up and you turn around. It’d come not from Hope- which you’d expected, seeing as he seemed to be the only one who actually knew his fellow hybrid’s name- but from the open door of the office building where Eunjung stood. She looks at him, her expression unreadable and he stares back. All the tension in his body has shifted and for a moment, you think he’s going to spring toward her and fall into her arms- but she gives an almost imperceptible shake of her head and his face hardens. His arms tighten around his bonsai. You think you know, now, why it was the only plant in his room that had a pot.
“Go,” she says and all the tension leaves him. His shoulders curve in and he drags himself past the director, out from the fence and toward Mr. Seo’s car. There’s something final about the way the gate rolls shut after him. If you hadn’t known better, you’d’ve sworn you heard him whine as it locked.
The car ride down the mountain is...interesting to say the least. Hope insists that the seating arrangements inside the Buick be done to his specifications,( “You’ve gotta sit in the middle,” he tells you, pointing to the narrow center seat. “And Joonie and I will sit on either side of you to protect you in case we crash!” His tail is wagging a mile a minute behind him. You’re surprised it can move that much, given how short it is. Mr. Seo looks affronted at the unintentional jab at his driving and Namjoon just looks irritated. “I told you to stop calling me that.”) and he keeps throwing an arm across your middle everytime the car hits a bump. You’re going down the side of a mountain. There are a lot of bumps. He also keeps pressing his nose against the glass of his window, ears pricked up and trying to take in every tree that passes by. Namjoon, on the other hand, slouches back in his seat, his body curved around his plant and ever so slightly away from you. He still watches the world pass by, but he doesn’t acknowledge any of you or speak- which would be fine if anyone else would. Hope seems to be doing his best to appear stoic and alert every time you look at him and Mr. Seo seems comfortable with the quiet. So, you’re left to ride the two hours back to Seoul in silence.
You almost cry with relief when your phone buzzes with an incoming text. You fish the device out of your pocket, thumb it to life and scan your notifications.
Unknown Sender [7:13 PM] where are you
You frown. Very few people had your number or any reason to text you. You’re about to chalk it up to a wrong number when the second text rolls in.
Unknown Sender [7:14 PM] it’s yoongi
Now that’s a surprise. When you’d hurriedly told the boys to text you, you’d been expecting Jimin to urge you to hurry or for Taehyung to ask for updates, not for their hyung to check your progress. A little smile pricks at your lips as you rush to reply
You [7:14 PM] We’re on the way back now!
Unknown Sender has been changed to Yoongi
Yoongi [7:14 PM] can i call
You bite the inside of your lip, suddenly nervous. You know there’s no reason to be. After all, you tell yourself, what’s scary about a pair of roommates talking on the phone? You give him the go ahead and not three seconds after the delivered notification pops up, you get a call. You answer it on speaker.
“...Hello?”
“Did you just start driving?” Yoongi’s voice is thick with sleep, like he’s just woken up. It’s different than normal, his usual smooth drawl gone gravelly.
“Y-yeah,” you reply, trying to ignore the way Hope is watching you out of the corner of his eyes and Namjoon’s ears have swiveled back toward you. “It’s gonna be awhile, still. Are Taehyung and Jimin-”
“They’re fine; They ate dinner earlier and they’ll be asleep til you get back.” He yawns and you picture him slouched on the couch, his hair mashed up on one side and his face puffy. “Why do you sound nervous?”
“I’m not,” you counter. It’s a blatant lie and he knows it. He hums in doubt, but doesn’t press you.
“I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Do you want me to text you when we’re close?” It’s an innocuous question. There’s no reason you can see for him to pause as long as he does. For a second you think you’ve lost him- after all, mountains aren’t known for having great reception- but then you hear his breath fan over the receiver.
“...Yeah.”
You give a little nod you know he can’t see. “Okay.” He makes a little noise of assent and then his line clicks off. You hang up. Just as you do, another text comes through.
Yoongi [7:16 PM] don’t let them scent you
“Who was that?” Hope asks in a small voice, pulling you away from your phone screen and Yoongi’s insistence that you remain scent-free. His tone is open, but you can tell by the way his knee is bouncing that he really, really wants to know. “Is that your husband?”
The bark of laughter that rips past your lips is out before you can think to stop it. Namjoon flinches and you wince at him in apology, your hand flying up to cover your mouth. Hope is frowning at you in confusion, his head cocked slightly to the side. You force yourself to calm and answer him. “No, Yoongi is not my husband.” You weren’t sure if you even really qualified as friends at this point. “He’s another hybrid that lives with me.”
Hope perks up in his seat. “You have another hybrid? Director Lim always told us that once we left the center, we’d be alone.” Your expression sours at the mention of the ill-tempered man and you shake your head.
“No, there’s a lot of hybrids in Seoul,” you tell him, eager to dispel some of his misconceptions. “The three that live with me are named Yoongi, Jimin and Taehyung. Yoongi’s around your age, I think. Jimin and Taehyung are younger.” The doberman hybrid sits at rapt attention, soaking up every bit of information you give him and waiting eagerly for more. What else could you tell him about them? You remember the boys’ reaction that morning when you told them you’d be bringing dog hybrids home. “...They’re all felines,” you say, slowly, trying to gauge their reactions.
“So that’s why you smell like that.” It’s the first words Namjoon’s spoken since you all piled into the car. You turn to him, but he’s not looking at you.
“What do you-?”
“You smell like other hybrids,” Hope says, covering for him. “But I’ve never smelled any that weren’t other dogs before.” He leans closer, his seatbelt stretching. You tense and lean away from him, but he’s not deterred. The tip of his nose brushes your neck and you have to fight off a shiver as he breathes you in. “They smell the same…” he starts, his breath fanning over your throat. “...but different? And one of them isn’t as strong as the others-” He presses closer, trying to catch the scent that’s eluding him. You make a noise of mild distress and lean further back, pressing into the solid wall that is Namjoon.
“Hoseok, let it go .” Hoseok. That was his real name then. To your surprise, the dog hybrid pulls back as instructed, settling back into his seat without so much as a whine.
“I’ve never met a cat before,” he muses, turning his attention back to the window. “I hope they’re nice.”
You think about the chorus of hisses you’d been met with when you told the boys they’d have to share their space. You hope so too.
It’s 9:30 by the time Mr. Seo drops you off back in front of your building. He wishes you a good night and promises to call later in the week to discuss Black Mountain Canines. You’re not sure if there’s anyone to report him to or anything you can do, but you want to try. What you’d seen at the compound was wrong any way you looked at it. It made you sick to leave anyone there knowing how the director treated Namjoon and Hoseok. No one was useless. No one deserved to be locked away for years at a time for the sheer crime of existing. You’d make them see that.
The moment you step out of the car, Hoseok is all wide smiles and exclamations. “Woah, you live here?” he asks, tilting his head back to take in all fifty-one floors of Haneul Tower in their sparkling, glass-paned glory.
“Yeah,” you tell him, handing him his bag. In his excitement to get out of the car, he’d abandoned it and Mr. Seo had nearly driven away with it. “But I just moved in a couple days ago, so it’s still pretty empty.”
Hoseok nods, scanning the windows like he’ll be able to pick out which one’s your’s. Behind you, Namjoon is lingering on the sidewalk.
He’s still got his bonsai clutched close to his chest and he’s hunched down around it like he’s trying to stop unseen hands from picking at it. His shoulders are bunched up by his ears, and he flinches with every car horn, every siren that comes to you on the wind. He’d grown up in the mountains and spent the better part of his life indoors. It only made sense that he’d be sensitive to the sounds of the city.
“Is there a security system?” Hoseok asks, still enamored with the building. “How many entrances does your apartment have?”
“Just one second,” you tell him, forehead wrinkling as you take in Namjoon. You slide slowly toward the wolfdog, not wanting to startle him. “Namjoon?” He flinches when you call his name, head whipping toward you. “Do you wanna go inside? I know it’s new, but it’ll be quieter, I think.”
His mismatched eyes flick from you, to Hoseok, to the building and back to you before settling firmly on the concrete at his feet. He seems different than he had in the mountains. He’s smaller, quieter, less sure of himself. Was it because this is all new territory for him? Or had the snarling hybrid in the mountains just been a roll he was forced to play, the mythic monster to the director’s tyrant king.
“You don’t have to go inside if you don’t want to,” you tell him, in a voice you hope is reassuring. “We can wait, if you need to.”
“I’ll wait with you, Joonie,” Hope chimes in, giving the larger hybrid the same soft smile he’d given his students earlier.
He swallows, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “It...it’s fine,” he mutters, “We can go in, I just…” He takes a few hesitant steps forward and huddles closer to you. There’s still an inch between you, but it’s closer than you’d thought he’d come.
You peer up at him. “Okay?” You ask. He gives a single nod and your little group moves through the double doors and into the lobby.
It’s quieter at this time of night. You don’t recognize the woman standing behind the reception desk. There’s no one really around except one man, pacing the width of the lobby looking thoroughly put out. You can’t really see his face, but there’s something familiar about the slant of his body. He whirls around as the glass doors click shut and you catch sight of a fringe of gray hair, pointed ears, narrowed yellow eyes and an all too familiar pout.
Yoongi.
“Fuck.” You’d completely forgotten to text him. Judging by the look on his face as he stalks toward you, he wasn’t happy about it. To his credit, Hoseok does his best to guard you, sliding in front of you and pushing you behind him. You can’t see Yoongi’s ears beneath the hat he’s wearing but if his curled lip and narrowed eyes are any indicator, they’re pinned straight back.
“Move.” He snarls at the doberman hybrid. Hoseok is taller than he is, but the closer Yoongi gets to him, the smaller he seems to shrink. There’s fire in the bobcat hybrid’s eyes. Hope whimpers and slinks out of his way, ears low.
You wince. “Heeeeey, Yoongi. I’m sorry I forg-“ before you can even finish the sentence, he tugs you toward him by the shoulders. His face roves your neck, sniffing in earnest as he tries to pick up the scent of the other hybrids on you. All is well until he reaches the right side of your throat and grazes over the exact spot Hoseok had nosed earlier. He pulls away slowly, his shoulders tight. His head turns slowly to the doberman hybrid, mechanical.
“You.” He hisses at the other hybrid with so much virulence it makes your blood run cold. He takes one step toward him, teeth bared in a snarl, but Namjoon slides in front of him bumping him back. A growl bubbles in the bobcat hybrid’s chest and the wolfdog matches it, both their ears pinned flat against their skulls.
“Hey-” If either of them hear you, they don’t react. They’re too focused on having a staring contest. “Hey!” You push between them, a hand on either of their chests. Namjoon snarls as you touch him and Yoongi looks ready to skin him alive for that alone. He pushes against your hand, trying to get closer to the taller hybrid. You ball your hand up in the fabric of his shirt. “Stop it!” The receptionist already has the lobby phone in her hand. She’s whispering earnestly into it and you’re sure security will be on the way any second. You exhale and squeeze your eyes shut. “Everybody, elevator.”
Yoongi hurls an accusatory finger in Hoseok’s direction. “These fucking-”
“Yoongi, please,” you plead. That gets him to stop. His arm falls to his side and he glowers down at you for a few seconds before stalking over to the elevators and slamming the up button. “I’m sorry,” you murmur to Hoseok and Namjoon. The smaller of the two hybrids is still hunched in on himself and the taller has Yoongi fixed in his mismatched gaze, his lips curled in anger.
This was not the way you wanted this to go. You’d wanted them to have time to settle before you discussed next steps and gave them the same talk you’d given the felines, but it didn’t look like that was in the cards. You don’t know what’s gotten into Yoongi. You’d thought the bobcat hybrid was calm, cool and collected, completely unflappable in the face of anything. Apparently not. He seemed upset that some of Hoseok’s scent had gotten on you, but there’d been no way to help that. You’d been packed in a car with him and Namjoon for two hours. It was inevitable, wasn’t it?
“It’s not okay,” you tell them, wanting them to know you didn’t condone the way Yoongi had acted. “I don’t...I don’t know why he’s acting like this; he doesn’t normally. Do you wanna go up separately?”
It’s Hoseok who answers. “No, we’ll go up together,” he assures you with a small nod. “If...maybe if we get used to each other, it’ll be okay?”
You’re not optimistic, but you give him a pained smile you hope is reassuring. “Yeah, maybe?” You cast a look back over your shoulders. Yoongi is waiting by the elevators, his arms crossed over his chest and his tail flicking in irritation. The elevator dings and the doors slide open. Well, there was no avoiding it. “Come on,” you tell them. “Just...keep to the other side, for now. I’ll stand between you and him.”
The four of you pile into the elevator, all tucked into your own corners. It’s strange, you think. It’s never seemed small until now. Hoseok keeps casting worried looks over at you, Namjoon keeps subtly shifting closer and Yoongi is still glowering at the both of them, angry for a reason you can’t quantify.
“If it helps,” Hoseok starts softly, his voice an intrusion in the awkward silence. “I really didn’t mean to, honestly-”
“Don’t apologize.” Namjoon counters. “If it bothers him that much, he can speak up”
You don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s too late that you realize the canines aren’t addressing you. Suddenly, Yoongi’s fingers are hooked through one of your belt loops. He yanks you backwards and you stumble, falling against the length of his body. “My bad,” You shoot out, before the hybrid can hiss at you. “I just lost my bala-” The words die on your tongue as Yoongi fixes his mouth to the soft skin of your throat. The elevator goes quiet.
The canine hybrids avert their eyes almost instantaneously, instinct telling them they’re witnessing something they shouldn’t be. Yoongi keeps them fixed firmly in his sights, a dark growl bubbling in his throat.
Your fingers flex uselessly at your sides, hands clenching unclenching as the hybrid works over the sensitive skin of your neck with his teeth and tongue. ‘Don’t make a noise,’ you plead with yourself. ‘This isn’t what it feels like. Don’t make a noise, don’t make a noise, don’t make a noise-’ Yoongi’s incisors graze over a vein and a little whimper slips past your lips before you can stop it. The grip he has on your hips becomes bruising. You feel your legs turning to jelly beneath you. Any more of what he was doing, and they’d have to mop you up off the elevator floor. You force your throat to swallow. “Y-Yoongi, I think that’s enough-” You don’t know if he hears you over the noise he’s making, so you lace your fingers through his and untangle them from your hips. He releases you with a wet pop and you slap a hand over the skin he’d marked. Heat floods your face and a smirk spreads across Yoongi’s, his teeth flashing at the canines. He leans in again to rub his nose against the mark he’d made- but a hand on his chest stops him.
“Can you stop?” You ask in a small voice. Honestly, you’re embarrassed. Regardless of what the articles said about mark-making being platonic, it doesn’t feel friendly. It feels possessive and mean and you don’t like it. “I’m sorry I didn’t text you like you asked, but what is with you today?” Yoongi’s expression changes from smug satisfaction to confusion and then surprise, like he hadn’t expected you to protest. “I know what I said about you being ready but…” You rub a hand over the mark, wiping away saliva and your sweat. The bobcat hybrid visibly deflates. The elevator chimes for the fiftieth floor and the doors roll open slowly. You rush out before any of them can and start punching the code in your door with shaky fingers. You don’t know what to say. You’re tired and stressed and you don’t know what’s going on. Was this about the apartment? You knew the felines wouldn’t be happy about sharing their space, but why had Yoongi gone this far?
“Y/N…” He trails after you, his ears drooping. You shake your head, You can���t talk to him right now.
“In the morning,” you tell him as the door swings open. “We’ll talk about it in the morning.” You can’t deal with everything that’s happened today, and Yoongi flipping out and getting the canines settled. You weren’t that good at juggling.
By the grace of all that’s merciful, Taehyung and Jimin are still asleep when you walk in. You’d need to have an extended meet and greet tomorrow, you decide. Maybe do some icebreakers or team building exercises. If they reacted anything like their hyung did, you were in for one hell of an adjustment period.
Hoseok and Namjoon trail you into the penthouse warily, sniffing the air. You want to give them time to explore and get their bearings, they deserve that, but with the way Yoongi still seems agitated when they venture anywhere but exactly in your steps, that’ll need to be saved until tomorrow morning too. You give them the most spartan tour you can muster up and show them each to a guest room, promising to order them furniture and get them the things they need tomorrow.
By the time you collapse into your own bed, it’s damn near 11. You groan and drag a pillow over your face as you ask the universe for the thousandth time why it had decided to continuously kick your ass. Having three hybrids had been hard enough. Having five of all different species was likely to prove impossible and having seven was going to be a sisyphean task you’d had no training for. You groan and kick your feet in the air, allowing yourself the brief respite of a temper tantrum before crawling under your covers and flicking the lamp off. Maybe in your dreams there’d be no stress and no snarling hybrids with behavior you couldn’t explain.
#thebtswritersclub#hybridbtsnetwork#bts fic#bts x reader#bts x y/n#hybrid!bts#ot7 x reader#seokjin x reader#namjoon x reader#jhope x reader#yoongi x reader#jungkook x reader#jimin x reader#taehyung x reader
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"Tom Riddle effectively destroys the country from the inside out, which I believe was his true goal the entire time" (c) wait a second, so you think that he wasn't going to really take over or anything, just destroy the fuck out of w britain?
I have avoided this ask long enough.
I’ll start by saying that asking me about Tom Riddle is like staring down into a bottomless rabbit hole. We could travel down that path, but it is a dark and perilous journey, and by the end of it I will come out looking like the Mad Hatter.
It also requires a few prerequisites that you’re just going to accept as true (or else got off the crazy train here).
We know very little about Tom Riddle or Voldemort
What we do know of Tom Riddle comes to us from suspect sources
I’m just going to go out there and start with the basis that Tom is not crazy
Elaborating a little on number 1. We never actually see much of Tom Riddle or Voldemort directly. He’s a bit like Thanos in the MCU, or Palpatine in the first two movies of the Original Trilogy, he’s this looming threat that we pass by and glimpse every once in a while but never really get quality time with.
Generally, Voldemort makes an appearance in a moment of crisis.
He and Harry fight over the philosopher’s stone for Tom’s very survival. He and Harry fight over the diary for Tom’s very survival. He resurrects himself with Harry as a witness. We get those very strange dreams from Voldemort’s perspective (half of which we later learn are fabricated).
None of these really lend to our, or Harry’s for that matter, understanding of Tom Riddle. There’s too much going on, it usually happens far too fast, and there’s usually something Tom Riddle desperately wants or needs that eclipses all other concerns or else he has an audience.
This is part of the reason we get those Halfblood Prince pensieve lessons: Harry knows nothing of Tom Riddle and doesn’t understand him at all.
Which leads us, of course, to number 2, most of what we know about Tom Riddle comes from Dumbledore. I’ve talked about this before, so I won’t spend much time on it, but Dumbledore has a very clear agenda in relaying these memories to Harry. Dumbledore already has strong suspicions of what objects are horcruxes and where they’re located, he already has Snape as a very reliable agent to continue work when he’s gone, his job here is to convince Harry there is no path but suicide. And that involves portraying Tom Riddle as the most evil man who ever eviled, was born eviler than the antichrist, and will die eviler than the antichrist.
Now, does this make Tom necessarily good or bad? No.
However, it does mean when Dumbledore tells us things like, “See, Harry, an impoverished child was upset when I lit all his belongings on fire! What a monster!” (especially given that, in a similar situation, Harry thought it was hilarious when Hagrid gave Dudley a permanent physical deformity and Harry was told he was an angel child) we should take it with a very large grain of salt.
Right, so, with all that backdrop what I’m getting at is that a) we can’t take Dumbledore at his word b) even if we could he could be wrong c) Harry doesn’t have the introspection to be able to figure himself when a or b is happening. I won’t elaborate on this last much, suffice to say that Harry’s world is very black and white, divided into the camps of those who personally like him and those who don’t.
So, why do I think Tom’s goal was not to rule the wizarding world but instead to destroy it?
A few things.
First, there are so many easier ways he could have ended up ruling the wizarding world. More, even when he effectively does rule the wizarding world in book seven, he takes very strange actions so that he’s never directly in power.
Second, I never really bought Tom’s racism. It’s too convenient and too contradictory with his backstory.
The second first, because we’re going out of order today. I’ve gone over this before, but I don’t believe Tom had minions early and I think he was effectively treated as a muggleborn (see here and here) until he took on the Voldemort persona many decades later. I’m hard pressed to believe someone as intelligent, angry, and proud as Tom Riddle would willingly believe and accept he was inferior to the likes of Abraxas Malfoy. More, even if he wished he was a halfblood, I think the evidence of him being muggleborn would be stacked too high against him to deny even to himself (and when he finds out it’s not true, he has maybe a month or so before he realized that he’s the bastard son of a squib).
And it’s just so convenient. All the people with the power, with the money, who are itching for a cause against a threat that doesn’t really exist believe in blood purity. Ergo, Voldemort shows up suddenly espousing over the top blood purity rhetoric (rhetoric that directly clashes with his “there is only power” philosophy at that).
In other words, I think Tom Riddle gave himself a line that he knew would get him places very quickly.
And now for the first. For a guy who has had the entire country in the palm of his hands twice, one time taking it over in a bloodless coup, he’s really big on causing collateral damage and really small on actually doing the ruling thing.
The first wizarding war, Tom Riddle as Voldemort has the backing of the heirs of the most prestigious and wealthy noble houses save a select few. These are people with seats in the Wizengamot, which has a frightening control over the government itself (including the minister of magic). I imagine, in 1980 had Tom Riddle wanted to be elected as Minister of Magic, he would have been elected as Minister of Magic. If he wanted a friendly face in office then he probably could have made that happen to.
More than even this though, by this point, Tom had already won. By having control over the majority of the Wizengamot he owns the government. He’s done, it’s over, it’s finished, and many of the characters admit as much which is why Harry Potter was such a miracle. So why all the seemingly random, exceptionally pointless, terrorism?
One answer is that Voldemort is crazy bananas. And sure, I guess we can go with that, except for someone insane he’s oddly effective and very consistent.
I believe Tom was systematically destroying the very foundations of the country through its core aristocratic families. Within a few short years Tom decimates the Black family, it goes from having five heirs to none, and while some of this isn’t Tom’s fault he does take care of quite a few of them. He brands Lucius for life, while Lucius rises high in politics he never escapes the stigma of being a known Death Eater and in the end cannot escape the consequences for his actions. The Malfoy family is very nearly destroyed by the end of the series, had Draco died in the Fiendfyre. The LeStrange family, presumably decimated as well.
More, this is mostly me headcanoning, but I imagine Tom fuels an extremism that the Wizarding World had never contemplated. I imagine, previously, anti-muggleborn sentiment was probably fairly rampant among purebloods. Oh, some were very pro-muggleborn I’m sure, but I think most were fairly “eh” on the people and felt they were a drain on society (such as requiring constant funding for the obliviation department).
However, when Diagon Alley starts getting blown up every other week, when muggleborns start being tortured and murdered, when purebloods who aren’t anti-muggleborn enough are being tortured and murdered, this starts wigging people out in a way they’ve never wigged out before.
By the time we get to Harry Potter’s canon, it is now only a minority that are anti-muggleborn, and they’re perceived as raving lunatics. Nobody wants to be grouped with these people. Which, just goes to show, how much Voldemort rattles the wizarding world in a very small amount of time.
Then there’s Deathly Hallows, rather than become minister himself Voldemort installs a puppet minister. He shows no signs of wishing to change this and instead does things like destroy the sorting hat (which again shakes the very foundations of the wizarding world as whta will we do if we don’t know who’s a Gryffindor anymore?!)
So, where is this ramble going?
Given the results we see, that more than any others it seems to be the purebloods and often Tom’s own followers that suffer colossal losses, I think Tom’s actions are, in part, a means of vengeance against the entire damn wizarding world (but especially the purebloods).
He makes fools of these people, brands them as his slaves, and has them participate in the most over the top ridiculous rituals (the cloaks, the masks, the entire theatrics of it feels like Tom got drunk one night and planned this whole thing out). He destroys them entirely, and better, enables them to completely destroy themselves and the country they believe they’re trying to save.
Basically, I think by the time the series begins Tom is fueled by a nihilist rage that knows no bounds. But dammit all, the wizarding world is going to burn.
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I need to know what caused Wei Ying to finally initiate a physical relationship with Xichen. Was it for Lotus pier and what the empress said? He does seem to have some feelings towards Xichen so did he not mind it bc of that? What does Xichen think about this whole thing ahhhhhhhhh so many questions. Sorry Lan Zhan cause ngl I ship them
[ part one (LWJ) | two (LXC) | three (WWX) | four (LWJ) | five (NQY) | six (WWX) | seven (LWJ) ]
[ follows on from six ]
Alive.
The word washes over him like a wave, bringing with it a rush of joy and relief—his brother is alive—that lasts only a heartbeat before the significance of the news comes crashing down.
His brother is alive.
An arrow to the shoulder, the report had read. Knocked overboard in the heat of the battle and disappearing under the churning waters; for days they searched, picking through the bodies floating amongst the debris long after the Dongying forces had retreated.
They found him, a day later, half-drowned and delirious with fever, unable to fight. News of his death in battle spread as he lay in his bed, one foot already through the gates of Hell and yet still strategising, planning, during his brief moments of lucidity. Conscious enough to know that they can use his perceived death to their advantage.
And indeed with the loss of Gusu’s greatest commander, their enemies pressed them harder, forcing them to cede waters they had previously held strong. Little did they know they were being lured into a trap, one that would decimate their fleet and end the battle once and for all.
“And how is Hanguang-wang now?” Lan Xichen asks. Only years of experience keeps his voice tightly controlled and his hands relaxed as they rest on the spacious desk before him.
“Replying to Huangshang, Hanguang-wang asked this lowly subject to pass on the message that he is well and not to worry,” the messenger reports. “Hanguang-wang has also said he will stay on to fight until the war is won, as is his duty as the commander of the fleet.”
As a brother, Lan Xichen knows he should recall Lan Wangji from the front lines, allow him to return to Caiyi to nurse his injuries. As Emperor, if his best commander reports he can continue to fight and his staying on increases their chances of victory, then he has no reason to refuse. As a man—
He tells himself the rush of relief that courses through him at the news is because his brother is well; he does not allow himself to entertain the other reason. It is too shameful to admit, even to himself.
In the end, the Emperor wins out, as it always does.
“Very well,” he says finally, pressing the tips of his fingers together as if he is giving serious consideration to Lan Wangji’s request. “We will grant Hanguang-wang the right to stay, as reward for his loyalty.”
--
He does not call on Chenghuan Hall.
He tells himself it is to give Wei Wuxian space in the wake of such momentous news, to allow him to process it fully in his own time without the added pressure of Lan Xichen’s presence. It is a flimsy excuse, one he knows does not fool his Empress at the very least, whose knowing looks and raised eyebrow has his insides twisting with guilt and shame like a child caught stealing treats from the kitchens. So he avoids her palace too, and seeks refuge in the Imperial study until late in the evenings.
A whole month passes where Lan Xichen does not allow himself to see Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian does not send word to him either.
He wonders if he’s left it too long, whether Wei Wuxian would be upset or angry at their situation—at him, for putting them in this situation. If it is too late to show up now, after a whole month of silence, and try to make amends.
Fortunately—if one could call any part of this fortunate—the decision is made for him when Wei Wuxian himself walks into the Imperial study one night and kneels in the centre of the chamber. Lan Xichen watches dumbly as he prostrates himself, forehead pressed against the tips of his fingers on the cold stone floor, his hair loose and unbound, spilling over his plain white robes, the very picture of contrition and penance.
“This lowly concubine pays greetings to Huangshang,” Wei Wuxian says, his voice loud and clear in the quiet of the study. “And humbly seeks your forgiveness.”
“Wuxian...” Lan Xichen begins hesitantly. He breaks off, looking around at the eunuchs stationed around the study with their heads bowed. “You may leave us.”
It is only after they file away, closing the double doors behind them silently, does Lan Xichen allow himself to cross the chamber to where Wei Wuxian is still kneeling. He hurries to help him up, grasping him below the elbows, but is met with resistance as Wei Wuxian stubbornly keeps his head and shoulders bowed.
“Wuxian,” he says helplessly. “There is no need for this.”
“This lowly concubine dares not stand until Huangshang has forgiven me for my transgressions,” Wei Wuxian replies, still in that formal, wooden tone of voice Lan Xichen has come to know too well. He sighs.
“It is cold tonight and you are barely dressed. You will catch a cold walking around like this,” he tells him gently, softening his grip on his arms. When Wei Wuxian still refuses to budge, he sighs again and tilts his face up with two fingers under his chin. “There is nothing to forgive, you have done nothing wrong,”
There is confusion and wariness in those grey eyes as they finally meet his, two emotions he had hoped never to see again.
“Huangshang is displeased with me,” Wei Wuxian says quietly, tightly, as if he would fall apart if he raised his voice. “Ever since the report from Jinghai. Huangshang can no longer bear the sight of me, now that Lan Zhan—” he bites off the name with a pained twist of his mouth.
Lan Xichen recoils as if struck. He had known the nature of their relationship before his brother’s departure, and their plans for his return. But hearing his brother’s given name, such an intimate address used so freely and without thought, is a stark reminder of what he had done. Who he had taken.
Wei Wuxian knows it too, from the shudder that runs through him as he exhales, and the way his hands curl into fists in his lap.
"This lowly concubine does not dare presume he has any right to beg forgiveness for putting Huangshang in such a difficult position,” he continues, the barest hint of a waver in his voice. “I only wished to let Huangshang know that he does not need to trouble himself over this any longer.”
There is a ring of finality to his words that immediately catches Lan Xichen’s attention.
“What are you saying?” he asks warily. “Wuxian—”
Wei Wuxian shuffles backwards, putting enough distance between them so that he can prostrate himself once more, touching his forehead to the floor.
“This lowly concubine begs Huangshang to grant me the death penalty.”
“No.”
The word forces itself from Lan Xichen’s lips before he even realises he’s spoken, a spontaneous, visceral reaction full of hurt and fury beyond his control. For a long moment after, he cannot speak around the vice clamped tight around his chest, squeezing the air from his lungs. Wei Wuxian replies, but his voice is only a faint murmur against the blood roaring in his ears; he cannot see his face to read his lips, but Lan Xichen already knows what he will say.
“You cannot ask that of me.” The words rasp painfully against his throat. “I will not be the reason for your death.”
Wei Wuxian raises his head and Lan Xichen freezes at the sight of the tears in his eyes, the same hurt, the same helpless fury colouring his cheeks and knitting his brows.
“And I am not willing to be the conflict that destroys the relationship between brothers,” he cries. “I cannot—I will not do it. Huangshang. You cannot ask that of me. Please do not ask it of me.”
He lowers his face to the floor once more.
“This lowly concubine is only alive today because of Huangshang,” he says, voice small and trembling but with an undercurrent of steel. “I should already be dead. If Huangshang grants me the death penalty now, it will only be putting the situation to rights once more, and Hanguang-wang will be none the wiser upon his return.”
Lan Xichen reaches out a trembling hand toward him, but stops short, hand hovering just above the top of his head. He cannot ask this of him. As a brother, and as a man, he cannot do it. As an Emperor—
Almost as if sensing his indecision, Wei Wuxian raises his head, leans into the palm of Lan Xichen’s outstretched hand and smiles as those long fingers mould themselves reflexively around the curve of his cheek.
“This lowly concubine will never forget the kindness and affection Huangshang has bestowed upon me,” he murmurs. “So if there must be a sacrifice, please let me make it in your place.”
--
TBC (yes I have just decided there will be a part two to this)
--
buy me a ko-fi!
more paper-thin fic | verse
--
Notes
Such drama! Much angst!
Sorry this took much longer than anticipated, mostly cos I’ve been devouring ancient Tezuka/Fuji fics and falling back into the ancient Tenipuri fandom in the past couple of weeks. So, uh, don’t be surprised if my next thing is Tezuka/Fuji instead (☞゚ヮ゚)☞
#my writing#wangxian#xixian#paper thin fic#mdzs#lan xichen#wei wuxian#lan xichen x wei wuxian#lan wangji#but he's only mentioned#薄命#王爺機 x 妃子羡#皇帝曦 x 妃子羡#emperor!lxc#consort!wwx#prince!lwj#imperial au#harem au#🔪🔪🔪#or maybe 🔪🔪🔪🔪#idk which one it would be#maybe 🔪🔪🔪 plus a sharp toothpick or something
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i guess you guys kinda liked my first headcanons thingy so here's another one :)
did this really cool thing where each character kinda has their own story but edited into headcanons, sounds kinda confusing so read ahead!
The Evans X Being Upset
warnings: smuttt, choking mention, daddy kink mention, mommy kink mention, name calling, slapping, hardcore penetration mention , oral sex mention, 69 mention, dom, sub, handcuffing, murder mention
James Patrick March
Do. Not. Get. James. Mad.
You're asking for death, literally.
Will degrade the fuck out of you 'til he sees your vulnerability jumping right at him.
"I suppose you do not want my presence around you, hm dear?" James'd ask on account of you completely ignoring him after hearing rumors of your dear husband sleeping around.
"Get the fuck out of my face, James." you'd emotionlessly speak to his now grunting appearance not shifting the minimum. "I said get out." you stated once again, now scanning his face as you notice his eyes fidgeting between your own and lips as he was just a few inches away from you.
"If not, what my dear?" James teased, his breath now fanning your face from lack of personal space. You would only look at him silently triggering his outrageous self to transcend out of his body. 
"TALK TO ME!" James'd scream, his veins nearly popping out of his neck and arms as his blood rushed through his masculine figure with blunt exasperation. You'd look up at him with a smirk as his chest motioned up and down at an unsteady pace.
Admiring his irritation you'd add by rhetorically questioning him "You seem upset Mr. March, is there anything I can possibly do?" Causing an undeniabley intimidating death stare to prep on his dark tinted eyes, directing at your own.
"I know what you want, and I'll be giving you exactly that." James would say in a seductive whisper as he tightened the handcuffs on your delicated hands fe... ( moving on :0 )
Kit Walker
Kit being such a manly fucker, would intimidate the hell out of you if he were to be upset with you.
Will definitely throw things and yell at you but later apologize for his misconduct.
Or will ignore you to prevent himself from crossing the lines, mistreating you.
He loved when you infruated him though , perfect excuse for his punishments.
"Do you want me to take away that attitude of yours, Kit?" you'd ask him in a mockingly annoying voice to just press on his buttons. "Is that really what you wanna do, Y/N?" he'd reply, his gaze feirce and alarming in your eyes, silently ordering you to not say another word.
"Why the fuck are you so mad anyway? I wasn't really serious yo–"
"Bedroom, now." (welp)
Detective Colin Zable
Definitely a switcher between sub & dom js.
Even though Colin wouldn't bare the idea of even getting near upset with you, there's been a few times.
Will avoid eye contact and conversations with you to signal he's bothered by something, in which you always catch on to.
Even though he'd be evidently mad at you, he'd creep on you whilst you're showering or even pleasing yourself for his own contentment. Being a totally proud brat knowing he was able to receive satisfaction from you even if it wasn't consensually direct.
Any little move you do towards Colin will make him a soft boy for you almost instantly. Cannot be mad at you, simply.
You'd make him your little sub al... (it stopped :')
Tate Langdon
Out of control.
Even though Tate would be in utter love with you, unsettling him can and will transform him into a literal monster.
Will go directly towards his leftover white powder, sniffing it uncontrollably to take away all of his distress, to harming you unintentionally.
His mommy issues will automatically expose him infront of you, making him vulnerable and aggressive, taking his anger out on you.
"Tate, im sorry. It was for your good, I promise.." you'd whisper to Tate's now empty faced expression, as your delicate hands reached for his under eyes wiping away his fallen tears softly.
"You're sorry, Y/N? You're sorry for throwing away my pills? You know how much I need them shits." Tate' d respond to you, pure hatred now suited on his angelic face. You would throw away his powered pills from time to time for his benefit. But he's caught you.
"Those pills were the only things that kept me feeling alive Y/N, and your first thought was to throw them away?" he'd question you again, completely outraged as his face kept getting closer and closer to yours searching for any sign of remorse.
"No, Tate. I did the right thing." you'd confidently exhale on his face, producing a steaming slap across yours from your beloved Tate. "What the f–.." before you can finish your confusion you find yourself under a harsh chokehold eliminating your full ability to breath un... (stop here :0)
Kyle Spencer (pre death/after death)
~pre death~
hardly ever got mad at you, but when he did damn..
Kyle being apart of so many clubs along with work made his life a little more difficult than what it should've been.
Of course liberating his anger out on you during sex. In which you honestly didn't really mind as you quite enjoyed aggressive sex.
Some days he'd be rougher than others depending on how his day might've went though.
"Hey babe, how was work today?" you'd ask Kyle as he entered through the main door. "The same as always. Why?" he'd respond emotionlessly. You could tell he was exhausted, that he just wanted to come home, eat, take his anger out on you than later on going to sleep, like he would usually do. But today you've had enough of it.
"Tell me when Kyle. Tell me when you're gonna put the minimum effort into this relationship. " he only gazed at you, "Then you can speak to me." you'd snap at him with pure sincerity, catching him off guard as you stormed into you guys' shared room angrily.
"Come on Y/N. It's really not the time!" he'd yell from the opposite side of you guys' bedroom door, in a gloomy tone fully convincing you to open the now unlocked door.
"You want effort, huh? You'll get effort Y/N." Kyle bursted as he teleported your direction pulling you into a cradled position in one swift move gra... (yeah lets stop there :0)
~after death~
Would get angry for the literal minimum in frustration of not having the adequate knowledge for certain things.
Would literally ravage your breasts to take his anger out, in which you'd give him your full consent for.
"Mommy." Kyle would simply say in between your breasts, unknowingly calling you by another name you haven't yet taught him.
You'd follow his lead by replying "Yes, baby?" provoking his member to shift in his fitted black jeans. You'd notice the effect you'd have on him as he exposed his vulnerable mommy kink to you.
"Keep sucking on mommy, baby you're doing oh, so good." yo... (stop right there)
Warren Lipka
Crazy fucker.
Will literally mentally and physically abuse you with his anger issues.
But you being as crazy as he is would enjoy it, getting sexually aroused by every slap, every scream and every insult that came out of him.
Warren would always be busy planning heists and other weird uniquely original robberies, as you would always occupy yourself by watching him.
His focused gaze on his printed lined paper, turned you on by the second, causing your legs to clench in arousal.
Needing him desperately, you choose to interrupt him, rudely.
"Accidentally" bumping into his elbow, causing his hand to shift lazly on his materpiece, you'd feel his angered gaze rise within him.
"Y/N." Warren simply said your name. "Yes, Warren?" you'd reply teasingly biting your lip turned on more than ever at his bothered expression.
"What did you just call me?" Warren'd ask, his expression becoming more serious by the moment, making your blood rush to your cheeks.
"Daddy. I meant daddy." you'd respond to his question, noticeably turned on by him. He notices this an... (yeah pause here lol)
Kai Anderson (pre cult / after cult)
~pre-cult~
pre cult kai only had eyes for you, and expected the same from you in return.
Extremely overprotective and jelous.
Wouldn't bare the sight of you speaking to another man or even looking at another man's direction.
But incapable of mistreating you in any sort of way, would rarely get mad although, just jelous.
"Who was that guy you was talking to at the parking lot this morning?" Kai would curiously and jelously ask. "What gu– You mean Greg the bus driver!?" you'd chuckle to his jelousy, which you very much admired.
"Oh.." he would sigh, looking up at you as he laid in bed for any signal of forgiveness for his insecurities.
"Its okay, baby. I love you and only you, got that?" you'd contently give him his reassurance breathing in his sigh of relief.
You two would just stare into each other's eyes, Kai's filled with guilt and yours filled with adoration. You would suddenly break the silence during times like these to please him with your mouth, reassuring him even more.
"What are you doi– oh~" Kai would moan to your tongue swirling around his sensitive tip sending shockwaves through his entire body ma... ( yea stop lmao)
~pro-cult~
Buy a wheelchair.
after cult Kai is dangerous. But after cult angry Kai? Vicious.
you would purposely make him mad for him to give you the minimum of attention away from his murder meetings with his pathetic cult.
You'd do the littlest things that you'd know upseted him, such as leaving the door open once you leave, creeping in the cult meetings, leaving the lights on in his basement. But his biggest trigger was him seeing you anywhere near a man, like its always been.
Only that this time Kai wasn't insecure, now he's just a jelous motherfucker who cant stand his queen near another man's presence, so you did exactly that.
"Psst! Yeah you!" you'd silently whisper to one of his male cult members. "You know I cant talk to you, Y/N. Seriously, Kai wouldn't like that." his terrified self would whisper back in fear of his own cult leader. In which you'd honestly be afraid also if you were to be in his position.
"Come on it'll be quick." you'd whisper once again this time pulling him in close by his arm.
"Y/N, I can–" *BANG* a solid headshot bullet went right through his cult partner's head, as his body dropped down to the floor. You'd look over at Kai, his face utterly blank whilst you're shaking in fear, his suddenly only revealing shame and disappointment.
" I'll deal with you in a minute, my queen..."
When Kai'd say this you'd know you wouldn't be able to walk for days as he'd fuck you for hours with no remorse whatsoever overstimulating the fuck out of you al... (you thought lol)
Jimmy Darling
Puts his claws to work for sure.
Will not get mad easily unless you push his buttons or bring up his dad.
Will and does stetch your pussy with his claws, making you scream everytime out of pleasure.
Although whenever you do infuriate him he loses his mind and avoids you to go out drinking.
You'd already memorize his daily routine to catch him backstage right before his shows to please him, provoking a painfully obvious boner to creep through his pants.
Just that this time you intentionally pushed on his buttons, in need of some angry Jim in your life.
He hated when you ignored him so you did exactly that.
Right before his show, you'd walk right past him making his blood rush through his masculinity tond, as he'd later exhale outrageously, overthinking how he'd make things between the both of you an unforgettable experience.
"Remember 69?" Jimmy would raise his voice at you from the other side of the backstage tent, te... (enoughh)
* longer one cuz ya deserved it :) *
#american horror story#evan peters#ahsfx#kinkyaf#kinkystuff#smut#ahs cult#ahs imagine#imagine#imagines#ahs freakshow#ahs murder house#ahs asylum#ahs hotel#james patrick march#james march#jimmy darling#tate langdon#warren#true detective#kyle spencer#kit walker#writers on tumblr
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Danon - M Hellhound x F Human (Reader) // NSFW
The pictures do not belong to me. I only created the mood board. Do not repost my work anywhere.
Content: NSFW/Lemon; injury (brief, not to reader), mild aggression, mentions of death, soul bonding, fluff, receiving oral, penetrative sex (+ knotting), marking (no biting - tattoo), more fluff to top it off, with the NSFW only at the very end - (if there is anything else anyone would like tagged here that I haven't caught, let me know!)
Wordcount: 3715
Masterlist
The creature rested at your front door had been your shadow for some time now.
The raven fur thick at its scruff tinged with a crimson the nearer you came, and though you doubted its domesticity - its claws were far too long for any house pet, not to mention in place of fluffy ears were ram horns, wide and curled back to its neck - you still felt sympathy for the creature, wounded as it was.
You first saw it nearly a month ago, trailing at your shadow when the evening fell into night. If the creature had wanted to have you then, it would have. The flash of fanged teeth hadn't been so unusual, until the muzzle almost tore back, sinew and tendons sewing flesh together, up to it skull. Then you'd known it wasn't quite a dog, nor some odd breeding anomaly, and had fought to ignore the memory.
Until the creature was at your backdoor come dawn when you went to the river for water and herbs for medicine. You were no healer, not properly, but your parents had passed down knowledge you cherished and made use of. Poultices ready-made waited for collection, all the while your stalker sat by the tree line, waiting; you weren't sure what for.
To see it so defeated when it was usually full of life tugged you down to your knees. The first time you had confronted it - in a rage of foolishness, really, considering how lucky you had been to avoid any harm at its infliction, the creature had staggered back almost in shock at having stones thrown, before letting loose a growl so low your muscles locked, and you thought then you had incited your own death, as its muzzle nudged up at your fist, the creature large enough to come to your hips like a pony.
The memory was nothing now. You whispered, hoping to soothe the dog-like demon when you brushed its fur. It gave a low whine, and tail thin like a whip with an arrowed tip tucked neater to its belly. Whatever it was, was decisively male, but your focus was more on the scratches curled deep into its stomach, and the wound on its throat must have been from another creature of the same kind.
"Hey, boy," you said and offered your hand for him to sniff. The notion struck you as pointless; obviously he recognised you, laying at your door after following for so long, but the press of a hot nose was more reassurance to you than anything. "Stay still. You'll be okay, boy."
The idea of letting him inside was daunting, but you couldn't just leave him there to die. No matter why he followed you, he had come to you now for help, and you pressed onto his back carefully. When he snarled, you winced through gritted teeth.
"Come on, boy." You tucked your hands beneath his back enough to encourage him up. Your door was open. All he had to do was collapse inside. "Go on-"
With a pitiful whine, he fell heavily against your thigh as you led him in. He managed to carry himself to the fireplace before landing with a thud, and though he still breathed, you weren't surprised to find him now unconscious.
Treating a dog was different from humans but you made do with what you had, and you couldn't do anything more than that. What you noticed, even as you tried not to, was the thick stench of something foul and smoky on washing away blood, and something about it twisted at you. Like it was unnatural. There wasn't anything natural to a dog of his size, with horns and a tail like that, nor a muzzle so wide and sharp, but you had already invited him in and tended to his wounds, so you moved on.
You left a bowl of water and some old meat at his side but when you retreated to your room, sharp canines snatched your wrist. His eyes flicked up to you, a bright, burning red against his ashen body. When you conceded and sat at his side, a soft whimper enticed your fingers to his scruff, careful to avoid the horns and shallow wound.
"You're okay," you hummed, holding still when he inched close enough to lay a heavy head on your thighs. "You'll be okay, boy. You’ll be healthy again, and you won't even try to eat me, will you? No," you whispered, and spoke until his eyes fell shut.
That night you spent curled uncomfortably back against the sofa, falling in and out of a restless sleep. You woke before dawn to find the beast gone, and in his place was a man. The first, natural instinct that came to you was to scream; his head was nuzzled against your thighs, a hand curled at your hip and clutching loosely, but the familiarity struck you before the screech came.
His body was the same black of his fur, a rich, almost obsidian, but the giveaway was the tail twined to his bare legs. Even still, his mouth seemed off, a little too wide, and the short nubs at his temples, though dramatically smaller horns, were the same.
So you yawned, snatching the blanket off the sofa and laying it across his thin body, too. Waking hours later with daylight on your face, you were alone. He had rested you on the sofa with a pillow beneath your head and the blanket up to your neck. It melted away remnants of fear, after being alone with not only some demonic hound, but a strange man, too, more than capable of harming you.
It was a struggle to continue your day as you normally would, but it was a weekend, so a short trip out was all you needed. You were back before midday but still alone. Alone until well into the evening, almost convinced it had been a fever dream until you had finished changing into comfortable clothes, and the silhouette standing in your kitchen turned, tail wound at his bare ankle.
"Oh."
The tail flicked and he watched you with glowing eyes, which darted back from you to the door. "If you would rather I leave-"
"No. No, stay." His head canted much like it had when he was the creature, and you smiled, offering him a change of clothes you had bought; not so much a change, but something to cover up with. "I'd like the company, and an explanation."
He apparently had no shame, and you had to admit, he needn't have any. His body was taut, and once more you were drawn to admiring him. The clothes hung off his frame, adding to his general unruliness - his hair particularly, ruffed with thick curls nearly enshrouding the nubby horns.
The stranger was a foot or so taller than you, stiffening when you reached out towards him. He blinked when you introduced yourself, before whispering, "my name is Danon. It's okay," he said, and tipped his head down.
They were rough, thick at the base, and Danon's breath caught when you stroked up to the tips. Horns of a devil, yet he stood before you still weakened by wounds visible, though closed over at his throat, at least. No blood stained the white shirt yet, so you instead moved past to make a drink for you each.
"Start from the beginning, Danon."
His lips twitched, though the smile didn't last. "I am a hellhound. We guide souls on from their lives here. My life is owed to you."
You sipped in quiet until it helped calm your thoughts. Sat opposite a hellhound, you needed the strength. "Sounds lonely."
His voice trembled. "It is."
When Danon chose not to elaborate, you embraced the quiet. He had only sniffed at the tea, but you wouldn't force him to drink it. With his hands so large, clawed, the mug shrunk between them.
He still remained quiet, so you watched him carefully and said, "you followed me for a month."
"It was meant to be you."
Danon's lips pulled back like he was snarling down at his mug, but the action somehow only made a smile grow on your face. He snapped his head up, slamming the mug down hard enough the handle shattered free.
"It was your life I was sent for. Not the elder man. You. Say something," he bit out, a snarl coming audibly now when you just looked at him, heart-pounding but face unchanging. "Is that it? You don't care about your own life? I could snatch it from you now, leave you there breathless until-" he bit his cheek sharp as his tail swung out in short whips. "I chose to give you time."
The only sound you could make was a breathless, "why?"
"I watched you long before revealing myself."
"Oh, don't tell me," you cut in, rolling your eyes. "You fell in love with me? Is that it?"
"Yes."
"Very funny," you snapped, and Danon's throat bobbed. Like you had done, he said nothing, and you began to grip your mug tighter. "Tell me you're lying. You killed someone because you love me?"
"His time had come. I sent him in place of your soul. The world cannot lose you. The way you care for these people… not one other soul is so caring. You deserve to live."
"But he didn't?"
Danon's long tipped ears twitched, almost pinning back once your voice sharpened. He thumbed the crack in the mug with his claw and grunted, "we can claim a soul. I fought for yours and until I choose to let you pass," he glanced up, finding your face ashen. "You will live. The elder was sickly. Longer for him would be a cruelty. His soul was so far gone I couldn't resist guiding him. It's like… like an itch."
Questions sprouted endlessly the more he spoke, and you fully intended to return to the matter of him claiming your soul, but he hunched over, and you wondered if it took a toll on him, being the one to cart people from this life. Better to have a guide than not, but your mind drifted to the man whose passing you'd heard of nearby; very old, very sick, and in a way, it was an easing of pain.
"Don't I itch?"
His warm laughter came as a surprise. Danon's tail swayed gently. "No. You're like a beacon to me. I need to scratch the itch, but your soul is where I return to. When you healed me, you accepted my claim. For simplicity," he murmured, canting his head a little to hold your eyes. "We are bound, 'til death do us part. It is late."
Like that, Danon dismissed the questions burning in your mind. He rose, his form slender and lean, before rounding the table towards you. His claws pressed beneath your chin and he fell low, so close his breath brushed your face. The warmth in your stomach tightened your chest. If Danon lowered himself a little more, you would lean into his kiss without pause.
"I will never apologise for choosing you."
Sleep evaded you for a long time. Knowing that a creature of hell was resting in the lounge gave you plenty to torment over, and like he knew, the soft padding of paws entered your room. The beast huffed a heavy breath against your hand before curling at the foot of your bed, a weight that left you curled into yourself. His presence was a comfort, even as you struggled to stop thinking of him.
He loved you. He loved you, and he had bound your souls together.
Sometime in the night as your thoughts became heavier, the bed dipped. The creature rose, a yawn baring sharp teeth in a display that had frightened you nights ago, before whining quietly. He nudged at your arm until you let him lay close, nosing at your throat and whining again until you were able to rest.
Danon wasn't by your side when you woke. There wasn't a trace of him left. The shattered mug had been cleared away, the smoky scent that followed him was gone, and the comfort with it. You almost thought it had been a dream, a delirious lie after being alone too long, and forced yourself to go about your day as you would normally. If Danon came home, it would be of his own choice.
He staggered into your room three nights gone and collapsed to his knees in reaching out to you. It was the thick of night, so you woke with a cry at somebody waking you. Danon caught your face in clammy palms and hushed you. It was without a word that you kicked back the sheets for him, and he crawled beside you - bare, but so exhausted you couldn't find it in you to care as he clutched you tight with a rough sigh.
It wasn't the time for questions, but you leaned back as far as you could with his arms snaked against you, brushing your hand against his burning cheek. "I missed you."
His glowing eyes blinked down at you. "You missed me?"
You hummed and leaned into his chest. "Did you have an itch?"
His chest rose beneath you but it was answer enough. Danon's kiss was tentative, pressed to your temple like a breath, fleeting when he laid his cheek to your crown. "I missed you, too."
"Tell me what it means to have my soul claimed."
"Come morning, you may ask me anything."
"Will you be here?"
The hellhound paused a breath. "I'm never far," he said, but it was answer enough as you woke entwined, cheek to his shoulder and with a tail draped over your hips.
For a creature of hell, sunlight blessed him. The sharp angles of his face looked softer in the golden hue, and you were free to admire him until he grumbled and peeked open an eye at you. Danon's brows dipped when he found you already awake, but you were quick to catch his arm before he could lean away.
"I fought for the right to your soul," he murmured, thick with sleep and slightly slurred. "It is mine. Nothing can take you without me releasing you."
"Don't I own my own soul?"
"It is mine," he said against the pillows, grumbling and turning away. Though as he fought to muffle himself, his arm around you tightened. "Pretty soul, too."
"Am I immortal?" Danon breathed a laugh. His tail flicked down your legs and he shook his head. "Are you?"
"If I wish to pass on, I may."
The words were rough and muffled now he had found a spot on the pillow to hide from the light, but you spoke still. If he was in your bed, he would answer your questions. "Will you pass on when I do?"
He hummed, "I might." You frowned, and he let out a rumble of a growl, turning fully from the pillow. Danon rose over you until you were laid back beneath him. "It is dependent on you."
"Me?" You blanched, "why me?"
"How attached I am. I never," he growled, and would have lurched back if not for your touch brushing his arm. "I never intended to claim someone. Your soul is my burden-"
"I'm a burden?"
Danon snarled, but you bit back a smile at the gesture. He brought himself close, forehead to yours, and whispered, "I loved you before claiming you. That is my burden alone. May I?"
Throat tight, you tried to hold your voice steady when you asked, "may you?"
"May I sleep?"
Your breath rushed from you and you forced a nod, laying still as he nestled back into the pillows. Danon's hand skimmed your stomach when you slid free, and his tail snagged at your ankle before unwinding.
Days passed much like that, and each in his presence weakened you. Confessions came in soft whispers when, to him, they were the only possible answer to yet another of your questions. You asked him if he had a home. He did; loose curls fell against his horns, brushed his dark eyes, and the answer, though he never did anything more than smile at you, echoed in your chest. It was the same reason he came back after a soul needed guiding, and the isolation of what he was struck you when he returned, falling into your arms no matter where he found you.
The worst came when he was gone nearly a fortnight. Some nights you doubted if he would come back to you, and the memory of him seeing you as beacon became your clutch. You had taken to resting on the small sofa in the days, knowing that if he came back in the light, you would wake.
His whine was so soft you thought him to be the beast when a warmth brushed your cheek, but arms tucked beneath you and curled you into a bare chest. Danon's lips lingered on your forehead before he laid you on your bed, whispering your name as he began to free you from your dress. The lace parted easily for him, and you brought his hands up to your sleeves when he made to turn, helping him undress you until you were left only in your underwear.
"Don't stay away so long," you whispered, reaching out to brush back his loose curls. Danon trembled when you ran your thumb against his horns. "What if you didn't come back to me?"
He closed his eyes and leaned into your palm. "That will never happen."
"This isn't one-sided," you said. Lengthened teeth cut into his lower lip when you slowly parted your legs beneath him, and Danon's hips fell against yours. He let out a breathless moan when your touch pressed to his lips and he let them part, tongue hot against you. "Did you not think I loved you?"
He whined, and his head fell heavy onto your chest. You gasped when he kissed the soft skin as it fell low, and his hands settled on your hips. "Tell me you do."
"I might," you said, and he was peppering softer kisses across your breast, hot lips drawing on your nipple until you groaned. "You'll have to do more than that first."
Danon's lips curled up against your stomach, and relief flooded you when he moved lower. His thumbs stroked small circles into your thighs when he pressed his hot tongue to the fabric clinging to your body, tasting you through it. His teeth caught at the hem and as you lifted your hips, he snatched them off and returned as fast, kissing purple flushes onto your legs before pausing.
"Tell me now."
With a small smile, you reached low to hook a finger against his horn, and breathed, "not yet, love."
He snarled half-heartedly before a long drag of his tongue made you choke. Danon flicked the muscle up until it nudged to your nerves, earning a sharp cry of his name in pleasure. The heat now rushing through you began to pool in your gut, and tightened with the passion he began to lap at you with. The hound growled low, and the shock of it ran in shivers through you.
Claws curled against your skin and he pressed your legs back to your chest. The same fire you felt throbbing glowed in his eyes, and he almost held your stare for as long as he stretched your tight body around his tongue, if you hadn't shuddered and bucked against him.
"Danon-" His nose forced hot air against you, nosing up at your clit and you stuttered out a plea, grasping at his hair and grinding your hips up to his face. "I need you. I need you to-Danon-"
He yelped when you dragged him up, and his body rubbed hard against you. The weight of him slick and nudging to your core made you wriggle, and he palmed your stomach with a small smile, the other hand circling his cock and guiding it up so his head rubbed to your nerves.
"If we do this, you will wear my mark." He turned to kiss your knee as it came against his shoulder. "Am I what you want?"
The shine to eyes was so innocent that you nodded, tangling your fingers in his hair again to drag him against you. "I love you."
Your voice broke on a hoarse cry. Danon laid over you, your legs strained up against him a way that had your body so tight and stuffed when his cock drove deep. His lips, thick and sweetened by your taste, parted on a heady groan with each thrust, each clench of your thighs dragging him deeper.
At that moment, your souls recognised the other; they must have done, with a feeling of belonging overcoming you as Danon cradled your face, running away a tear of pleasure. He rutted up as he began to gasp and shake, a weight slamming against your centre. He soothed you with a whisper of his love, and grinned at your answering whine before the claw of his thumb flicked your clit. Bolts of pleasure knotted in your core. You cried, seeing white and locking tight in the same second Danon thrust hard, the knot forced into you and sticking.
You felt him come, thick and hard until he was panting and kissing down your throat. The black swirls of his mark formed across your chest and Danon held you close as his knot swelled all the more.
"Stay here." He swallowed, nipping at your jaw before meeting your eyes. "Stop travelling," you said quietly, and Danon's fingers running down your hips paused, splaying wide as he looked down at you. Your traced his chest, drawn to the stretch of his skin where a matching mark laid. "Care for this village, the neighbouring ones. You said you only take souls at their time. Guide theirs."
"Stay with you?" His small smile tugged at your heart. Danon slid his arm lower to lift you up against him, brushing a soft kiss to your lips. "I will try."
I wrote Danon in like one sitting and honestly? He stole my heart. I don't know how it happened but this is the longest thing I've written that wasn't intended to be two parts. Danon is now my baby, and I hope you all loved him too - let me know if you did! Threw in the NSFW as a treat to myself. We love indulgent writing. Thank you for getting this far <3
#kim-monsterlings writing#exophilia#monster boyfriend#monster x reader#demon#monster x human#hellhound#hellhound x reader#hellhound x human#2nd person#female reader#Danon the hellhound#kim-monsterlings#exophilia fluff#exophilia writing
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give me the a brainworms i am deeply invested in this man
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okay first of all you asked for this. second of all if i am a little off track from the game that is explained by me just building thoughts like building blocks without looking back. third i was supposed to be studying for an exam but this counts as practice right? it's character analysis anyway lmao.
buckle the fuck up, my dearest anon, because I have sub headings.
1. A as the Player Character
Let me begin with why I am obsessed with this horrid little guy in the first place: he's a silent protagonist. I am always obsessed with protagonists. It's a law of nature. I love taking hollow characters and dissecting them for scraps. It's a long standing practice of mine.
Being a silent protagonist, A, as X, does not have a set personality. However, there are patterns. Firstly, as any semi-silent protagonist, A is a reactive character. He does not start incidents, he only responds to situations, presented by the Sephirah, as they arise. He does not actively seek out new information, merely going about the routine of expanding departments, but expresses curiosity when information is presented to him.
I'm aware fandom likes to characterize X and A differently, likely because they are initially presented as different characters. I, on the other hand, would like to pose the theory that they are more similar than expected.
I believe that A is also a reactive character, rather than active. Despite the fandom wiki describing him as stubborn, the goal A pursues with such fervor, the completion of the Seed of Light, is not actually a goal he set for himself. Carmen is the one who set this goal for him by leaving him her legacy.
Throughout the backstory we get relating to the Cogito Project, A is Carmen's assistant, whereas Carmen is the driving researcher. This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be; going with the flow of goals set for them by superiors. Yes I will get into his attachment to Carmen later.
The above is not to say A isn't stubborn. Once he has accepted a goal as his own, he will pursue it at all costs, as is obvious from any and all flashbacks leading to horrible deaths. But the point isn't his pursuit of the goal, but where that goal comes from. Even Lobcorp itself supports this, despite what Hokma may say; A as X follows the "simple" task of managing the Corp's day to day activities, and executes any mission given to him by the Sephirah. He outranks them, and doesn't actually need to do their missions, but does so anyway. Players are driven by the reward offered by those missions, of course, and A might be the same in that regard. Nonetheless, at no point in gameplay do you do anything somebody else hasn't told you to.
The overarching narrative of the Script would be the most obvious example. Every single person in the game follows the script, whether they know it or not.
Lastly on this note, a phrase we hear attributed to A, "Machines must behave as machines." Now, Angela may be attached to this phrase because it bears significance to herself as a machine, and informs most of A's unjust treatmeant of her. However, what if it doesn't just apply to machines? The phrase reads as such, "Everyone must act according to their own role."
2. A, Carmen, and the disease of the mind
So, A will at any cost pursue goals Carmen set for him. Question is, why? The obvious answer would be saying he's in love with her, which like, true. But also, how did Carmen come to be so precious to him?
Let us return to the comparison, "This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be." We don't really know why exactly most characters joined Carmen, excluding mainly Daniel and Benjamin. But this does not mean we can't have theories.
Carmen's ideal was curing the "disease of the mind." What is the disease? Complete hopelessness. The inability to form aspirations and dreams, to think of a better future. A is a very reactive character who does not set goals for himself. Therefore, I personally conclude, that initially, Carmen's ideology resonated with him because he could identify with the disease.
This is the point where I start rewatching Lobcorp story clips. Dear god.
So, by briefly binging day 27 onward, I've come up with lines that very much support this lil theory of mine:
First, from Carmen, a description of the disease, "People lock away their own potential."
Second, a line from Angela, after the memory synchronization, "You've locked yourself in this prison without bars."
Carmen describes A as humble, and Benjamin thinks he is warm. If I suppose A was one of the diseased initially, Carmen would be the catalyst for this change. Carmen was someone with big aspirations, with plans to heal what is wrong with the City, and it gave him hope. He was one of the diseased, but through time with Carmen, with that relentless optimistic spirit, he may have been cured, for a time. It's not a stretch to say that she was his light.
But lor shows us what happens when the seed of light sprouts wrong, doesn't it? It distorts. A grasped hope for the first time and then it is ruthlessly crushed. Carmen was everything. Yes, A is described as a jack-of-all-trades, as a genius in all pursuits he puts his mind to, but what does that matter in the face of someone who can unite people? Who can give them hope of a better world? Who can inspire them to actually use the talents they have?
And what kind of pressure is it to put the legacy of a messiah in the hands of the diseased?
3. A and the Perception Filter: A is weak to White damage
No, I am serious about that. He's extremely weak mentally. Obviously death of a loved one is a changing experience for absolutely anybody, but Carmen's death destroyed him.
Not only did he refuse to confide this grief to anyone and bottled it up, now everybody looked to him to lead the project, but he just isn't Carmen. He isn't an ambitious person, he doesn't have the same optimism, he can't bring people together, but people expected him to, and he failed. Hard.
While he was without a doubt talented in science, he was also just an average guy.
After her death, A grew to hate humans. He lost trust in them. He refused to confide in anyone, and be confided in by anyone. Thus, the team fell apart.
In both lobcorp and lor, we get interesting tidbits about precations taken to protect the manager.
Firstly, Lobcorp's perception filter. The cartoony art-style of the game is a result of the game being in first person. Through the eyes of the manager, everything is cartoony!
This is a measure undertaken to specifically protect the manager's psyche. Angela tells us that, before it was deployed, the manager would frequently go insane, one notable incident including the manager trying to hang himself. When we first hear this, the previous managers and X are still separate in our minds. However, they're all A! A went insane multiple times without it.
This is understandable, considering that employees also frequently go insane and try to kill both themselves and others. But they're there in action, confronting the Abnormalities directly. Just watching them made the manager go mad. They could not handle the responsibility for the employees' deaths.
In lor, Angela explains why she picked the Rabbit Team from R Corp as their main contractor instead of any other team. One team was simply too big for L Corp's narrow hallways, and the other team... dealt in psychic damage. It was simply too big of a risk for the manager. But the manager is always secure behind the cameras. Would that teams methods just be that brutal visually, or would their attacks have reached the manager?
Combined with his immense grief at all of his friends and coworkers dying in part because of him, A cannot bear to look at death.
4. A's greatest flaw: Avoidance
A common thread during Core Meltdown flashbacks: A refuses to look at suffering. He just can't. Whether it be looking away from Elijah writhing on the floor or hanging up on Daniel's panicked report of death.
This is actually the thing Angela takes the biggest issue with, and what hurt her most. A would never look at her, acknowledge her, and she did not understand why. But I think A did not refuse to look at her out of maliciousness. Rather, it was out of grief over Carmen. He could not look at her without being reminded of what he lost.
Angela's creation came about because A wanted someone to guide him, someone like Carmen. He threw himself into the project to the point it made Benjamin happy that A was passionate about anything again. But as soon as the project he distracted himself with is complete, he is filled with regret. Carmen cannot be replicated, and he breaks again.
Furthermore, tying this back to my first point about A being a reactive person, we see Angela take charge over A. She's the one recruiting employees and leading the business. It was likely a relief for him to be able to step down from the leading position.
But avoiding it made everything worse. He did not act when he saw Elijah's unchecked ambition, he did not act beyond a simple check at Gabriel's decay, he gave Giovanni the same hope he clung to to no avail, et cetera et cetera.
Avoiding his problems is making them worse and sending everything down the drain (including his psyche), so he deals with it the only way he knows how, avoiding them more!
Biggest example of A's big avoidance problem as his psyche crumbles: the memory wipe. A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much.
By erasing his own memory, he could start fresh without his grief, because he might've really killed himself otherwise. His suffering became bigger and bigger, and he coped by avoiding it.
The memory wipe allowed him to distangle his problems. Through his interactions with the Sephirah (which I will not individually detail for the sake of my sanity and because I dumped all this on a friend on discord already), he can deal with and actually process his issues one at a time.
As the motto describes, only by facing the fear can he build the future. Only by finally facing his grief and acknowleding it, seeing that the past cannot be changed and he has no choice to move forward, can he actually do so.
5. The Sephirah as ghosts
Lobotomy Corporation feels like a ghost story. I've touched upon this in my previous A post.
As you reach the Corp's lower levels, there are less Sephirah. First there are four. They act like normal employees, and do not breach into the story's underbelly until you reach their core supressions and the facade breaks. Second, counting Tiphereth as one, there are three. They still go about their duties, but they know what they are. Third, there are two, and the facade is gone. They know what they are, and they will tell you about the sins of the past.
And finally, you reach Keter, and there is only one.
This gradual decay of the facade is what really gets to me. I said that by interacting with the Sephirah, A deals with his issues one by one, but that's what the Sephirah are, in this case. Representations.
The people the Sephirah used to be are dead, and the Sephirah are their ghosts. The core supression involve putting these ghosts to rest. Doesn't it match the progression of a typical ghost story? Find the ghost, find what they used to be, and help them move on.
So, if everyone is a ghost, then A is alone.
But, behind the scenes, the Sephirah are still there. They are still people, and they have changed for the better, too. As always, A simply does not look.
(Does he even see the good others see in him? Does he look away from praise, too? Did he even realize Benjamin's admiration for him? Will we ever know?)
6. A's end.
A's progression of moving on would be fine and dandy if it did not end as thus: A does kill himself.
A sees himself beyond the point of no return. Everyone is dead. He is alone. Carmen is never coming back. He can't call it quits now, or else everything has been in vain. (Even if the last days show us a part of him wants to just quit, so badly.)
So, there's only one thing left to do: follow the Script to its ending. Fulfill Carmen's legacy at all costs. Death as the ultimate release.
This is the point where I admit I do not like the death as release trope. But the game does a good enough job as presenting it as the only option A had, or the only option he saw himself as having.
However, I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again: A was not alone. Death was his release, but he left wreckage. In order to end his own suffering, he inflicted the same pain he went through on others.
Throughout the game, he moves on and pushes through. The ending shows that in reality... he didn't.
At least in lor the characters stick together and help each other heal.
This has been most of my thoughts on A, amounting to my longest analysis post ever, having taken me approximately two and a half hours to complete, and clocking in at 2337 words including up to this paragraph.
Thank you anon for giving me the incentive to verbalize all of this, so I can finally be at ease having inflicted my thoughts on everybody else.
#Feli gets asked#lobotomy corporation#ayin#library of ruina#also i saw apparently another fandom besides lc uses the ayin tag which is just fun to watch honestly#many characters could rival this word vomit probably but as i said i already inflicted most of my thoughts abt netz on my good pal borgor#thank you borgor for dragging me back into projmoon stuff. also curse you terribly#long post#Feli speaks
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Death and an Angel part 13
Death!Din x Cupid F!Reader
Summary: Ahsoka takes Din on a journey through the past.
“You should know though, you might not like what you see.”
Din shakes his head, dismissing the warning. “What’s one more nightmare?”
Rating: T
Word Count: 5,958
Warnings: angst, swearing, character death (canonical, but with my own twist), made up planet name that is ridiculous, dialogue heavy, plot plot plot, backstory
Author Note: Good lord this is soooo late coming out. To anyone who sent me an encouraging message I am beyond grateful because I really needed the encouragement to finish this segment. I hope more than anything this segment gives more answers than it raises questions (although reading your theories is both awesome and entertaining so keep them coming too!)
Links to Part 1 and Part 12 and Part 14
Cross-posted on AO3.
Photo Inspiration:
“Who the fuck is Moff Gideon?”
Ahsoka looks at Din, her brow furrowed deeply. He’s seen the expression on her face enough times to recognize its meaning: this is the face she makes when she is about to reveal a message directly from the universe itself. As an Oracle, she is the only immortal who can glimpse details of the past, present, and future. She has a soft spot for mortals, sharing the few precious snippets the universe allows her to with them in the forms of riddles and vague prophecies that never fail to give Din a migraine with their crypticness when he hears them.
“Moff Gideon is a Seraph who grew discontent with his position amongst immortals,” she says at last.
“Is he the one responsible for keeping my soulmate from me?” he asks, voice as harsh and unforgiving as the environment surrounding them.
“He is responsible for many sins.”
“I don’t have time for your vague answers,” he growls, hands twisting into fists. “You tell me not to kill this Seraph, then in the next breath claim he’s a threat. I am not a mortal who will be entertained by riddles, Ahsoka. You summoned me here to talk, so start talking. Tell me what you know.”
The Oracle’s mouth purses into a thin line. Nearly a full minute passes before she speaks again. When she does, the calmness is no longer natural, but forced. “Telling you what I know would be impossible.”
“Ahsoka—”
“But,” she pitches her voice higher than his protest while narrowing her eyes disapprovingly, “I am capable of showing you. You should know though, you might not like what you see.”
Din shakes his head, dismissing the warning. “What’s one more nightmare?”
She reaches forward, pressing her index and middle fingers to the center of his visor. If not for his helmet, she’d be touching the space directly between his eyes and instinct tells him the positioning isn’t random.
“We’ll start at the beginning,” she says, but her voice has changed from its usual cadence. It is ancient and youthful, a harsh scream and a hushed whisper all at once.
Din has only the slightest of seconds to process this in addition to the way her facial markings start to glow and her eyes flash white before he finds himself standing in the midst of a crisis.
There is mass hysteria every direction he turns. People screaming in terror, pushing each other and tripping over those who have fallen in their haste to flee an unseen threat; whole buildings are crumbling, sending flaming debris and shards of glass raining down upon the streets as smoke billows into the sky. The edges of his field of view are blurred, like he’s looking at everything through someone’s glasses, and it creates an ache behind his eyeballs. Fuck, is this what it’s like for Ahsoka when she experiences visions?
‘You remember the Fall of Mandalore, don’t you, Death?’ Ahsoka’s voice resonates from deep inside his brain, as if she’s fused her consciousness with his.
His jaw tightens when he says, “Of course.”
‘Oh, look. There you are.’
Sure enough, when Din looks forward he sees himself moving swiftly through the crowd, unaffected by the chaos as he stoops to reap the soul of a woman who’s had her skull caved in by the stampede of frantic civilians. He wonders how many others can say they’ve had an out-of-body-experience such as what he’s dealing with right now: reliving a traumatic event all over again while observing himself the same way a stranger would from a distance.
“Why are you showing me this?”
‘Because it’s important,’ Ahsoka answers, and the image of her frowning face enters his mind unbiddenly. ‘The universe has a plethora of endings imagined for every civilization, but it is the individual choices of the community that act as stepping stones bringing them closer to a specific fate.’
“Mandalore was always meant to fall apart. It was just a matter of how, not when,” he surmises, voice devoid of emotion. His words are punctuated by another fiery blast from a nearby complex, followed by an ear-piercing wall of a terrified child.
‘Precisely. But the same cannot be said for an individual’s lifespan. There are consequences if someone perishes before their time has come. You should know that better than anyone.’ There is a hint of accusation thinly veiled in her tone that has his body tensing reflexively.
His location shifts, shapes and colors mixing together without warning before another scene gradually comes into focus. It’s a large chamber with sparse furnishings, but its beauty is tarnished by the copious amounts of glass littering the room as every single one of the ornately designed windows have been shattered from the force of the explosions outside. Din knows before he even lays eyes on the throne he’s inside the royal palace because he first sees the familiar face of his most trusted reaper standing next to a blond-haired woman. Both women have such strikingly similar facial features nobody who sees them side by side can have any doubt they are related.
Whereas Bo-Katan dons gray-and-blue armor with a jetpack strapped to her back and two blaster pistols holstered at her sides, her sister, Satine, wears a garnet colored dress with a gold belt wrapped around her slender waist. In this moment, the sisters differ from each other as much as night and day; one a military leader, the other a pacifistic duchess.
“You need someone here to protect you. We don’t know who or what we’re dealing with and it isn’t safe for you to be alone,” Bo-Katan argues, crossing her arms over her chest as if to intimidate her sister into submitting.
“Our people are scared and defenseless, Bo. They need your protection during this crisis more than I currently do,” Satine says, voice soft but firm in a way only those deeply involved in politics can master.
Bo-Katan glances out the broken windows at the burning city, stubborn loyalty to protect her sister warring with her duty to protect her people. “Then at least send a message to Obi-Wan to come here.”
Satine shakes her head. “Bo—”
“I know things are strained between you two right now—”
“That’s a glaring understatement.”
“—but he’s one of our best and most loyal guards. He’s proven more than a dozen times he’ll fight anyone who’s a threat to you.”
“I don’t need the reminder of what he’s done for me.”
Bo-Katan places a hand on the blonde’s shoulder and squeezes it when she says, “He’s the only one other than myself I trust to protect you if you were to encounter danger.”
“Just because I’m committed to peace does not mean I am incapable of looking after myself.” Satine reaches behind herself to detach a weapon that had been clipped to the back of her belt. She clicks a button on its hilt, emitting a white blade shining brightly like a beacon amongst the dark clouds of smoke tainting the air.
Din’s breath catches in his throat. “Is that…?”
‘The Lightsaber of Mandalore,’ Ahsoka confirms. ‘Made by the Armorer herself.’
The Armorer is deeply respected by both mortals and immortals alike. As the goddess of metalworking and blacksmiths, there is nothing she cannot forge and infuse with grand powers. However, she is exceedingly cautious about choosing who is a recipient of her creations.
Din is one such recipient, having been given his armor of pure beskar when the Armorer realized how dangerous his touch was to mortals. He remains eternally grateful for the gift not only because it prohibits unwanted physical contact, but also because it is invulnerable to damage or rust like other types of armor. Ahsoka’s dual sabers were also made in the Armorer’s forge, specifically designed for the Oracle’s grip alone and meant to protect her during her journeys throughout the galaxy, but in contrast to the white blade of the Lightsaber, the blades of Ahsoka’s weapons matched the same blue coloring as the stripes on her lekku and montrals.
According to the legends Din’s heard, the Armorer created the Lightsaber for the first ruler of Mandalore because she was impressed with their culture and strong military, and it was passed on to each new heir to the throne over the centuries. When wielded in battle, the Lightsaber made the user invincible against enemy attacks as it siphoned off energy from the souls of those it sliced through.
Throughout the long history of Mandalore, Satine was distinguished as the only ruler to avoid warfare as she sincerely believed negotiations and treaties could solve any problem quicker than bloodshed.
As such, Din isn’t surprised when Bo-Katan raises a judgmental eyebrow. “Did you forget who you’re talking to? I know you wouldn’t use the Lightsaber even to cut a piece of fruit.”
Satine sighs through her nose, sheathing the weapon once more. “Fine. I’ll contact Obi the second you’re gone.”
“You better.” Bo-Katan leans forward, pressing her forehead against her sister’s. A gesture of affection within their culture. “I’ll see you soon.”
And then she’s gone, flying out the nearby window and diving straight into the fray. As a mortal and as a reaper, the redhead is fearless in the face of danger. Some might consider the behavior reckless, but Din’s always been impressed by her dogged tenacity to achieve victory no matter the difficulty of her mission.
Din looks back at Satine. Now that she is alone in the room, she is able to freely express her distress at the unfolding situation, looking as if she’s aged ten years within the blink of an eye. She fiddles with the comlink around her wrist, seeming hesitant to call this Obi-Wan fellow like she agreed to.
‘They haven’t realized it, but they’re soulmates, ’ Ahsoka murmurs, low and melancholic. Hearing it makes Din’s chest constrict with unease. ‘They fought recently and parted ways upset with each other. Unfortunately, she dies before they can resolve their miscommunication.’
The next sequence of events play out startlingly quick, as if Ahsoka has chosen to suddenly jump forward in time. His eyes struggle to absorb the fleeting details—the doors to the throne room being blown open; a Seraph in black armor emerging from the smoke; his voice is unique, velvety and thorny at the same time, as he addresses the duchess by her full name Satine Kryze; Satine attempting to stall as she subtly taps at her comlink, only for the tactic to fail as the foe teleports closer, eliminating the space between them.
“You have something I want,” he tells her, seizing hold of her throat. “You may think you have some idea of what you have in your possession, but you do not.”
One of Satine’s hands claws at his face, attempting to gouge out his eyeballs with her nails, while the other reaches for the Lightsaber. Her fingertips brush against its metal hilt just as he throws her to the floor. The impact knocks the breath out of her lungs, eliciting a strangled gasp, and shards of glass dig into her exposed skin, dotting the pale flesh with beads of blood.
Gideon—Din doesn’t need Ahsoka’s input to know this, for who else could the Seraph be but him?—places the heel of his boot over Satine’s neck. He doesn’t apply pressure yet, but the action in itself has the duchess squirming with panic, hitting at his leg futilely. There is a red light on the comlink flashing insistently, indicating someone on the other end is speaking but they’ve been muted.
“Give me the asset I seek.”
Through clenched teeth, Satine wheezes, “It belongs to Mandalore.”
“I thought you might say that,” Gideon replies, feigning disappointment. “However, in case you haven’t noticed Duchess,” he gestures towards the windows, “Mandalore is dead. My accomplices have made sure of that.”
“You’re a coward for hiding behind others. You don’t deserve the Lightsaber.”
There is a sudden change in the atmosphere, air turning impossibly frigid and crisp.
“I deserve it more than anyone,” Gideon says, angry enough he is trembling. The Seraph’s stance shifts, and although Din has witnessed every type of brutal death imaginable, he flinches at the sound of Satine’s neck snapping beneath his heel.
Gideon rolls her lifeless body over and rips the Lightsaber off her belt, a satisfied smirk on his face. He disappears as quickly as he arrived, reward in hand, and an eerie silence envelops the room. It’s almost as if the palace itself is stunned by the loss of its ruler, struggling to make sense of the merciless act of violence.
Time skips forward again, showing a young bearded-man dressed in military armor clutching at Satine’s body, pressing his forehead against hers as he weeps. Over and over he keeps murmuring apologies for not being quicker, for failing to be there when she needed him, for never saying he loved her.
“How do you know Satine and Obi-Wan are soulmates if they never matched?” Din asks, feeling like he’s intruding on a private moment despite not actually being there.
He thinks of a similarly phrased question he’d asked his angel on their way to Sorgan what feels like entire lifetimes ago: how will I know it’s my soulmate? Her eloquent response remains embedded deep in his memory, safely stored away along with every other moment they’ve spent together. Longing twists like a knife in his side as he allows himself a second of weakness to look at the soulmate marking on his palm.
‘I saw the life they were going to share,’ Ahsoka tells him. ‘Satine Kryze was not meant to die here. She and Obi-Wan should have both survived the Fall of Mandalore, settling down happily with each other elsewhere in the galaxy. Gideon’s greed altered their destinies.’
The palace fades away to reveal a much older Obi-Wan, gray-haired and wrinkled. He’s in Mos Eisley; Din recognizes the crowded spaceport instantly having taken his ship there for repairs numerous times over the years.
‘The universe puts a lot of effort into making sure soulmates match with each other at a very precise moment. Even if the match is rejected, the individuals still had an important impact on each other’s lives. Timing is the most important factor for a soulmate pairing, and if it’s off then the universe will attempt to fix it.’
Obi-Wan stops to help a woman who’s accidentally dropped her shopping bag, contents spilling out onto the sandy ground. She thanks him as he offers her a polite smile, both of their attentions on each other’s faces and not their hands. More specifically: their marked hands. There is the barest brush of their fingertips as they reach for the same item before an invisible blast of energy erupts from their touch, splitting them apart and sending every person and thing surrounding them flying in all directions.
The shock on Obi-Wan’s face matches Din’s own beneath his helmet. He remembers his angel telling him after the failed match with Omera what happened on Sorgan wasn’t the first time an event like that occurred, but she hadn’t been privy to the details. Her superior had told her she wasn’t high enough ranking which Din had thought sounded like a load of bantha shit at the time.
“Ahsoka, what is the meaning of this?” Din asks the questions quietly, but there’s an audible coating of frustration that he knows she won’t miss. “Satine’s dead.”
‘You didn’t reap her soul,’ Ahsoka says. It’s said as a gentle reminder, but it nevertheless has Din feeling like the ground has disappeared beneath his feet as realization dawns.
“I...didn’t.”
A quiet sigh echoes through his head. ‘I forgot how ignorant you can be. You can’t reap a mortal soul that transforms into a new entity.’
“She’s a Cupid,” Din murmurs. Either that or a reaper, but he knows each of his reapers like the back of his hand and Satine isn’t nor has she ever been one. He shakes his head, thinking of Obi-Wan finding Satine’s body in the throne room. “That doesn’t make any sense. Obi-Wan clearly loved her.”
‘Rejection can sometimes stem from a misunderstanding. Satine’s last living encounter with Obi-Wan was him saying so long as he was part of the royal guard they had no future together. She perceived this as him denying he cared about her, not knowing he had made plans to retire in order to ask for her hand.’
In front of Din, Obi-Wan rubs at his soulmate marking while staring at the mess around him, lines of unease and confusion creasing his forehead.
‘You asked, what is the meaning of this moment?’ Ahsoka continues. ‘It’s one of the universe’s attempts to reconnect Obi-Wan and Satine so they experience their matching as they were intended to.’
“But they’re of different statuses,” he points out needlessly. “She’ll outlive him.”
‘Yes, but the matching of soulmates not only influences the lives of the pair, but the lives of other people as well in ways both obvious and invisible. Think of it as a ripple effect.’
“Did the universe’s attempt work?” Din wonders. “Were they ever reunited?”
‘When Satine awoke as a Cupid, it was a surprise to both her and Gideon. Rather than kill her a second time, the Seraph chose to inflict a worse fate. She became the first of her kind to have her memories erased. However, he’d never previously used his ability on another immortal before, resulting in him nearly wiping her entire mind clean. The universe is capable of many miracles, big and small, but every attempt of reuniting the pair failed. It remains the universe’s most profound regret which is ultimately the reason why the universe brought you to Trinomliaxeros without your armor so that history wouldn’t repeat itself.’
There is a strange, heavy feeling that suddenly inflates within the confines of Din’s chest like a balloon. It’s different from the rampant anger he can still detect simmering beneath the skin of his human façade. He tries to shake it off, focusing on his breathing and the desert heat emanating from the twin suns overhead, only to slowly realize that what he’s feeling is fear.
Within his memory he can recall just one other distinct moment in his existence where he felt this spine-chilling emotion, and that moment was experienced on Trinomliaxeros.
“What did you just say?” His voice sounds shaky even to his own ears, but he can’t find any energy within himself to care.
A long stretch of silence fills his head; it’s the fragile kind, too, preventing him from snapping at Ahsoka to answer lest she become angry at him and yank him out the vision entirely.
‘Twice the timing of a soulmate match has been disturbed. The first pair affected was Obi-Wan and Satine. And the second pair was...’
“Ahsoka,” he says when she hesitates to continue, but any additional words he can think of saying catch in the back of his throat.
‘The second pair was you and your angel.’ Another pause of silence, shorter but no less meaningful. ‘Only fifty years ago, she wasn’t an angel.’
This is what Din remembers from Trinomliaxeros: feeling a pull so forceful, impatient and unanticipated it drags him across the galaxy in his civilian clothes, arriving to find the planet engulfed in smoke, unable to see his hand in front of his face, even without his gloves on. Finding skeletal remains burnt to blackened crisps with the souls inside shaking and traumatized, practically leaping into his outstretched hand, knowing either the afterlife or damnation would be better destinations than lingering there even a second longer. Explosions in the distance, bursts of flames as intense and hot as the sun, greedily consuming everything in their radius.
Out of the smoke and darkness, a survivor. A girl, covered in soot and sweat, colliding with his chest. The dead are calling out to him, pleading for him to reap them, to save them. Their voices swirl around his head, clawing at his brain and pounding against his skull. Shoving the girl aside, one foot in front of the other, letting his powers guide him to the next soul. Her voice cuts across the distance, a plasma bolt striking him in the back. We’re soulmates, she says.
His breath stills in his lungs. Fear spreads like a virus through his bloodstream, slipping beneath his defenses, turning him into a stranger within his own body. The declaration is a lie, an impossibility, a delusion. He has no match, hands unmarked, flesh poisonous and lethal. His words, too, are weapons themselves. Sharp, ruthless, desiring to wound her as she’s wounded him. You could never be my soulmate.
And then he’d left her.
This is what Din remembers. But, he thinks, squeezing his eyes shut so tightly it hurts, I’ve remembered everything all wrong.
Phantom hands gently press against the sides of his helmet, offering comfort without caring about the dried blood. He keeps his eyes shut, knowing it’s just a manifestation crafted by Ahsoka in his head. ‘Don’t blame yourself. This was the only viable outcome the universe could produce to ensure the bad timing would be remedied in the future,’ she says, but it does little to lessen the weight on his chest. ‘Your rejection saved her life. It granted you both a second chance of a first meeting.’
“How did—” Din struggles to string words together, to fucking breathe. “She—She knew. What we were. How…?”
The Oracle puts him out of his misery. ‘She found out the way all soulmates do: through touch.’
Din’s eyes fly open at that, and he has to blink a few times to bring everything into focus because there’s him and his angel right in front of him, frozen mid-collision. She’s grasping the sleeves of his coat to keep her balance, the palm of her marked hand touching his wrist. He stares at the point of contact for a moment, then barks out a laugh, hysterical and strangled sounding.
“That’s not possible.”
‘Soulmates can’t kill each other. She’s always been meant to withstand your touch.’
Din swallows thickly, staring at his angel’s face. He hates the question forming on his tongue, but it will haunt him the rest of his life if he doesn’t ask it. “In your visions, when I meet her at the right time, what happens?”
'You’re different by then, less broody and more accepting of the notion you could be loved. You have a soulmate marking,’ Ahsoka tells him. ‘You fall for her hard, even before your hands brush. You love her throughout the entirety of her lifetime.’
“And...when she dies?” The words taste like blood in his mouth.
‘Don’t torture yourself, Death. That timeline doesn’t exist anymore.’
For one brief, fleeting second Din is actually grateful Gideon altered their destinies. However, in the next, he’s trying not to let the fear gnawing at the back of his mind increase as it belatedly occurs to him that the universe is not as infallible as he’s always believed it was.
He wishes he could see Ahsoka, if only so he could glare at her directly. “Everything you’ve shown me has only further convinced me Gideon deserves death. Why have you asked me to promise not to kill him?”
'Do you remember what happens after this moment on Trinomliaxeros?’
Din frowns at the change of subject. “I continued to reap souls.”
'Yes. And then?’
He huffs a frustrated breath through his nose. This is Ahsoka, he thinks, at her most annoying. But, as much he loathes admitting it, this is also the most helpfully transparent she’s ever been. Today may be the only time she trusts him enough to share her visions. He owes it to her to be as open as she’s being with him.
That being said, he’s still wary of the memories he’s kept in the distant, shadowy corners of his mind being pulled into the spotlight. “Tell me we’re not gonna talk about the kid.”
‘We talked about the universe’s biggest regret. It’s only fair we talk about yours too.’ Ahsoka has found the crack in his armor he’s tried so long to conceal, peeling it open without remorse.
She doesn’t spare him time to argue. All he does is blink and he’s looking at his past self locked in a staring contest with a little green-skinned child who is propped up inside a floating, orb-shaped pram.
Of all the buildings and homes on the planet, only its temple had remained untouched by the destruction. Din didn’t know if it had been the structure’s own holy foundation keeping it standing or if it was the personal choice of the mastermind behind the attack, but he’d been drawn to it regardless, finding souls there to reap whose hosts had differed from other victims in that their throats had been slit. The walls of the temple were adorned with intricate murals depicting immortal figures and religious events of ancient history, but before he could observe the artwork closer, a quiet coo had stopped him in his tracks.
When he opened the pram, he hadn’t anticipated finding a baby of all creatures. When their eyes connected, every background noise abruptly ceased. Even the voices of the dead fell silent. Rather than rouse his suspicions, Din had felt only a sense of peace he usually only experienced in the midst of hyperspace travel where the stars were his voiceless companions.
An unspoken conversation transpired between the two of them, one Din still can’t translate into words all these years later, but it concluded with him knowing he would take the child with him.
Din had reached for him unthinkingly, the child lifting his arms up in eagerness to be held, but self-awareness kicked in right before contact and Din retracted his hands away so fast it startled the child into crying, brown eyes filling with tears. Panicked, he surveyed the room, looking for something to put an end to the wailing, before looking down at his own coat, experiencing a lightbulb moment.
“Alright, kid, it’s okay. You’re okay.” Watching his past self shrug off the coat, Din remembers it had been his favorite of his civilian clothes, well worth the cost for its soft fabric and length. He managed to successfully swaddle the child, ensuring his arms were safely tucked away to prevent him endangering his life, and Din exhaled a quiet breath of relief when the tears dried up almost immediately.
However, the ensuing silence wasn’t as peaceful as the previous one. Both past and present Din turn at the sound of distant shuffling echoing off the temple walls from another room.
“Ignore it,” Din tells his past self. “Just take the kid and leave.”
But his plea goes unheard and the past remains unchanged. Ahsoka is silent inside his head, either because she knows he won’t accept any more comforting words or because she thinks he’s undeserving of them for choosing to leave the child behind in his pram, closing it when he starts to whine again, so Din can go investigate the noise.
Din exhales a quiet breath, fingers twitching restlessly at his sides as he watches himself stalk through the temple halls, checking each room he comes across. It’s strange, seeing himself from this perspective. The distanced viewpoint allows Din to glimpse new details he hadn’t been capable of noticing back then.
Such as the reappearance of a familiar Seraph emerging from the shadows to stab him in the back.
Here’s one of the perks about being Death: he can’t be killed. That fact doesn’t mean there haven’t been attempts though. As Death, people sometimes look at his armor as a challenge. Like if they can fire a shot or throw a knife at just the right angle, it’ll wound him and allow them to live longer. Simply put, all those people are idiots.
When he looks like a regular, unintimidating civilian, he’s also been involved in violent predicaments where someone’s attempted to mug him or where he’s tried to save someone else from a similarly sticky situation.
Armor or no armor though, he’s always walked away from these encounters completely unscathed.
Well. With the sole exception of Trinomliaxeros where he was mostly unscathed.
It wasn’t the first time Din had been stabbed before. Usually knife wounds felt like a mild pinch. More irritating than painful, similar to a splinter stuck in one’s thumb. Once the weapon was removed, the damage healed within seconds, leaving behind no scar or proof he was ever attacked.
Usually, is the keyword to note here.
Ahsoka freezes time right when the blade of the Lightsaber is driven straight through the center of Din’s body, bone and flesh as easy to slice through as melted butter. His agonized expression—eyes screwed shut and lips open in a silent scream—would be comical if Din didn’t remember the exact emotions he was feeling in that moment.
Instead of a pinch, it’d felt as if thousands of invisible hands were pulling and scratching at him, attempting to strip apart his human exterior layer by layer—peeling off skin, scraping away muscle and bone marrow, seeking to reach the core of himself where his powers resided.
‘Looks like it hurts,’ Ahsoka says. The return of her naturally calm and neutral tone of voice seems almost cruel given the frozen, graphic display.
Din again wishes he could glare at her. “Is this funny to you?”
‘The transformation of the Lightsaber into the Darksaber is anything but funny.’
Lost in recollection, he failed to notice until now how the blade of the Lightsaber has changed in color from white to black. It’s the same inky hue that absorbs the brown in his eyes, that had dyed his veins during the execution of Hess.
‘The Armorer specifically instructed the Lightsaber only be used against enemies. As a neutral entity, you are, by definition, no one’s ally or adversary. By stabbing you, the saber became corrupted. It is a consequence Gideon still has yet to fully realize the monumental repercussions of.’
Time resumes, Din’s past self collapsing onto the floor, pressing a hand to the throbbing hole in his chest, attention too consumed by the franticness of his powers struggling to repair the trauma to notice Gideon lingering behind him. The Seraph’s stunned look of shock lasts barely ten seconds, morphing into one of deep contemplation as his gaze flicked between the weapon and Din, before he vanished.
When Din recovered enough to stand, he teleported back to the child’s location at once. He needs to get the little guy as far away from here as possible, somewhere peaceful and safe. His planning came to an abrupt halt upon finding the pram open and empty, his coat shredded and scattered about the floor in pieces.
“Gideon took him.” It isn’t a question.
‘Yes,’ she confirms. ‘The child was the intended target of this siege.’
“Why?”
‘He’s...very special.’ There is something about how her voice hitches when she says ‘special’ that has Din’s instincts prickling with alertness, but he holds his tongue. ‘Gideon considers him a tool he can take advantage of.’
The ugly, tight mass of anger swells inside of him and presses against his lungs, resulting in a low growl slipping out of his mouth. He curses his own ineptitude. If he’d paid more attention, hadn’t allowed himself to be wounded, he could have subdued Gideon and spared both his angel and the child from being captured.
“I warned you once upon a time, there would be consequences if you released your darkness,” Ahsoka says, her voice no longer emitting from inside his head. The vision fades back into reality the same sudden, jarring way one wakes up from dreaming. It takes all of Din’s self-restraint not to perform a full-body shake. “Your control is slipping as your rage increases. It’s making you not think clearly which is exactly what Gideon wants. That is the reason I am asking you to promise you will not kill him.”
Put like that, Din no longer thinks her request sounds quite so outlandish, even though he does still remain in the dark as to what consequences exactly will unfold. Ahsoka has remained stubbornly tight-lipped about the topic from their very first encounter, claiming the universe is adamant she can only share the details with one other person and it isn’t him.
“He deserves to die for all he’s done,” Din says quietly, but he’s self-aware to know his resistance is beginning to crumble.
“Between you and me, I think so, too,” she admits in the same low tone. Her ocean eyes are dark and stormy, reflecting her internal turmoil. “But rules are made for a reason and we would be fools to carelessly overlook the consequences of breaking them.”
The accusatory note from earlier has returned with a vengeance. He’s not surprised—of course the universe would utilize the Oracle to express its disapproval—but aggravation still thrums through his veins.
“Hess played a hand in my soulmate’s fate. He called her a whore.” Din’s upper lip twitches with the urge to snarl. “I don’t regret what I did to him.”
Ahsoka sighs. “I was afraid you’d say that. When you swore your creed, you promised the universe you’d only reap a soul when their host’s time has reached its destined end. By killing Hess, you not only broke a sacred rule, you also broke your creed.”
Din recoils, feeling like he’s been stabbed with the Lightsaber all over again.
“...What?” The anger is gone, extinguished by the weight of the revelation. Confusion and wariness are quick to fill the void. “What does that mean?”
She looks away then, but not quick enough to hide her troubled expression. “I...don’t know.”
He blinks, mind scrambling to understand the implications. “Isn’t that your purpose? To know everything?”
“For the very first time, the future’s unclear to me,” she murmurs, eyes briefly turning cloudy as if she’s trying to take a peek at the potential timelines right then and there. She shakes her head a beat later, frowning. “There are many choices left to be made, each one capable of influencing the fate of the galaxy. It is not possible at this time for me to predict our upcoming reality, let alone your consequences. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Din says, because it’s the truth and he doesn’t like seeing her crestfallen expression. Fuck, he might actually consider her a friend after all.
Whatever happens, he thinks to himself, it can’t be any worse to deal with than being separated from his soulmate. If he can survive this, he can survive anything.
“The last promise I made was broken.” He bites back a wince at the memory of his angel’s pinky promise. “But if making another one is the only way you’ll take me to my soulmate, then you have my word. I won’t kill him.”
A ghost of a smile pulls at her lips before she grabs hold of one of his vambraces. “Take me to your ship. I will guide you to her location.”
“You don’t trust me to go alone?” he asks, unsure whether to be amused or indignant.
“No,” Ahsoka replies bluntly.
Din huffs. “Fine.”
“I may not be able to see much at the moment, but I know it’s never wise to turn down support. You’re going to need us.”
“Us?”
“It’s Bo-Katan’s choice to make, but you and I both know she’s never been one to back down from a fight. Especially once she learns Gideon is her sister’s murderer.”
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#din djarin x you#din x you#my fic#death and an angel#mandalorian x reader#Din Djarin#Pedro Pascal#pedro pascal character fanfiction#din djarin x reader#din x reader
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The Night We Met
Fandom: Riverdale Pairing: Jughead Jones x Male!Reader Summary: There’s too much pain in his heart, he really wish it will go away soon. Word Count: 1,575 Request: I. Need. ANGST! (Please feed me some angst 🥺) Warning: Suicide, depression A/n: I would love more angst prompts.
Riverdale is a small place, it’s a town where everyone knows everyone.
Death is common, it’s heartbreaking, but somehow it’s always more saddening when it’s a young person, just because they had so much life to experience. Riverdale is a quiet town, really, but it was only loud because of one young lad.
Jughead Jones was very fond of this person.
You weren’t too bright that people hated to look your way, you were too good for this world. But, you were real. There wasn’t negativity in your body other than your outlook in life, you were so kind that the elderly always see you and offering your time to help them. You would help struggling students with subjects, you were an inspiration to Jughead’s side project - to tell the perfect story of you.
See, you were a soft boy. The boy who wore round glasses, oversized sweaters and baggy jeans. Sometimes, you would wear your overalls with your long shirt underneath and converse to match. You weren’t afraid to express yourself, you were too good for this world because nothing should harm you.
So, how can this happy boy kill himself?
The town mourns because this shouldn’t have happened in the first place.
The kid, you, you were supposed to go - be free. You were supposed to leave Riverdale, make it big in the big city. Make friends, make a family, expand your horizons.
You’re just a boy.
It hurts so much, to think, to feel.
Jughead hated it, your story was supposed to be making it far and yet it was ending abruptly. Jughead remembers the night you met him, it was just you and him in Pop’s diner. The neon lights illuminating your face, Jughead cannot help but feel threatened by your looks.
You sat across him, sipping a cold beverage. One leg up on the booth and your arms leaning against your knee. Jughead remembers vividly the rings you hand on your fingers, the chains around your neck - the dull brown striped sweater that seems to contrast the white collar from a shirt under it.
You two seem to hit it off that night, you were laughing at each other’s jokes, the occasional flirty remark, exchanging numbers and kept “running into each other at pop’s late at night when it’s just you and him.
“I want to write a book about you, (Y/n),” Jughead says, as you looked at him curiously, “You’re interesting.”
“Far from it, Jughead.”
He stood by your side most of the time, somehow you two formed a relationship - it was so unlikely, but it was right. Two boys just in love with each other, they see nothing but each other. Jughead adores the book he has written about you, there’s a load of wisdom sprouted from your mouth.
“People tend to forget to tell each other how much they love or miss you or need you, and even if they do remember, sometimes they're just too shy, too scared, too certain it's the wrong thing to say or the wrong timing. But it's not. It never is. Say it before it's too late. For all we know, it could all be different tomorrow.”
“It really could.”
“I could die tomorrow, and I know there will be a lot of unsaid things in the air. There will be regret.”
Jughead looks at you, “Are you okay?”
You shrugged your shoulder, there was a faint smile on your face, “I haven’t been okay for a long time,” There was a beat silence as you laugh, “I’m just kidding, Jug, I’m okay.”
Jughead wishes he didn’t believe it - but foolishly, he did.
Life continues, he recalls how happy you were, there was nothing in life that could go wrong for you. And yet, you let out your deepest feelings in the late night meet up at Pop’s.
“You know,” You sighed, leaning your head back against the window, “I’m tired of feeling-”
“Huh?”
“I’m so done with life, this life I mean. Reincarnate me to another lifetime like two hundred years from now, maybe it’ll be better.”
“That is if climate change hasn’t taken us already,” Jughead say as you chuckle softly, “Maybe we’ll have robots.”
“Maybe, they’ll lower the age of drinking.”
There you go, joking again, as if you haven’t accidentally got to deep in your feelings. Jughead remembers how you were, and now he cringes. It’s all there, the signs of calling for help - right in front of him. And, he brushed it off because he thinks you’re joking.
Jughead remembers.
It hurts.
He had all, and then most of you. Some and now none of you.
He remembers how you started to drift away from him. The meetings late night started to be rare until you stopped showing up. The smile was there but it looked sort of faded. You weren’t by side as much until you were avoiding him, telling him that you were busy.
You died.
You killed yourself.
You were at peace now.
“Please...”
The wind rustles the nearby trees, it’s not cold out. In fact, the breeze was comforting in the warm day, summer was ending and autumn was starting to come about. Autumn had always been your favourite season, it was the season for staying in and the cold weather starting to nip at your nose. It’s an excuse to wear jumpers and have hot coffee.
“Please, take me back to the night we met.”
Jughead trembles, he’s on his knees as he stares at your headstone. It’s clean and fresh among those that have been forgotten over the years. Jughead doesn’t think a slab of stone fits you well, it’s just not you.
Your life could never be marked by a gravestone, something so cold and immobile. Perhaps a tree with a wind-chime in the branches could do you more justice, or a simple song sung into the wind. What lies in the ground is only flesh and blood, that's never what you were.
You were quite honestly the most beautiful spirit Jughead has ever known. he prays that you soar with the eagles on lofty breezes and swim in oceans deep; he prays that you know the freedom this life could never give you, yet most of all he prays that when his time comes it is you that takes him by the hand and you go onwards to better times together.
There are flowers for you, some that were there since you were buried, some that were new. But, your grave was never short of flowers.
“I would have done anything for them-”
“-Except save them,” Archie says behind him.
A reared as if he had been slapped. Jughead swallowed hard, eyes wide and startled before their gaze shuttered. “You have no fucking idea,” He whips around to tackle the redhead, “You don’t know (Y/n), you don’t know him like I know him. Don’t think for one second I wouldn’t have tried.”
“Juggie,” FP says softly, grabbing the boy by his shoulders, “(Y/n) wouldn’t want you to do this.”
“I’m sorry,” Archie whispered, he knows he overstepped the line - it’s a shock really, your death was sudden.
“I failed him,” Jughead says, it’s a struggle for him because he’s holding back tears, “I keep seeing his face and I can’t help think I’ve failed him.”
Guilt, too much of it.
Regret, and you were right - there are a lot of unsaid things in the air and he regrets not telling you.
“I love him.”
“He loves you too,” FP says, making Jughead look him in the eyes, “There is not a bone in (Y/n) that tells you, you were ever at fault - okay? He doesn’t want you to blame yourself.”
Going home was an empty feeling in Jughead, FP knows it will take a while for Jughead to bounce back to himself. School seems to empty without you, there isn’t someone there to wait for him at his locker; instead, there’s candles and flowers at yours. Jughead goes to sleep with the papers of your unfinished story, he goes to sleep in your sweaters.
He keeps a picture of you, always on himself. One night he stares at you, it’s been two weeks since you were buried. Your relationship with him hadn’t lasted long, three months - not once he had uttered the three words as you did to him.
“I love you,” Jughead whispers to the picture of you.
“Why didn’t you tell me that when I was alive?” Your voice questions him, he knows you’re not there, but can’t help himself to imagine you by his side.
“I was scared.”
There was silence, “Yeah, I know that feeling.”
He can’t imagine how terrified you were, in your last moments of breathing. He doesn’t want to imagine it, yet sometimes it keeps him up at night.
“Make my story ending a good one, will you?” Your voice says, there’s a tone of happiness for a second.
“I don’t know how to end it,” Jughead admits, “It wasn’t supposed to end so soon.”
“Tell them I was brave for finding peace,” Your voice softly begs, “Please, that’s how I want it to end.”
Jughead stays silent before nodding to himself; he knows he’ll be haunted by the ghost of you. But, that’s a request he can do for you - your one last wish.
“Okay,” He whispers.
Maybe, just maybe, you found peace in his word.
#jughead jones#jughead jones imagine#jughead jones x male!reader#x male reader#riverdale#riverdale x male reader#riverdale imagines#angst
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honesty.
pairing: rengoku kyoujurou x reader
genre: comfort, fluff
word count: 1714
remarks: not me back at my loving/comforting kyoujurou bullshit because i need it damn badly and no one will feed me
It takes a near death encounter for Kyoujurou to realise that he may have been selfish.
It isn’t even him who experiences it - the lower ranked kinoto he was paired with for a mission had the claws of a demon come dangerously close to his neck, the sharp edges scoring a thin line of red right over the man’s jugular. Kyoujurou had made quick work of the demon before sending the man home swiftly to his wife, but seeing the way the woman cry tears of worry over her husband had made his feet falter on his own way home.
Does he make you worry like this?
You welcome him back with a tired smile just as the sun begins to peek over the horizon in the distance, a light blanket wrapped around your shoulders as you lean up to kiss him on the cheek. He gives you a smile of his own in return, but the corners of his mouth feel heavy as he does, weighed down with his worries and thoughts.
Still, he doesn’t speak a word about it until he’s done with his bath, toweling his hair dry while seated on the bedding. In the next room, separated by thin paper walls, Kyoujurou can hear the clanging of pots and smell the fragrance of roasting sweet potatoes - his favourite dish. You always make it to welcome him home after a long mission, and while its smell is usually enough to bring him peace, today his heart simply refuses to settle.
Do you deserve someone better?
“Kyoujurou? Kyoujurou, you’re spacing out.” A gentle hand on his cheek startles him out of his thoughts, and he glances up in surprise to see you standing over him with a fond smile on your face. Holding out your hand, you gesture to the towel on his lap. “Hand me that, dear.”
He obediently sets it in your hands, and you move behind him, your knees brushing his back before the towel settles on his head once more. Your fingers begin to move the towel through his hair, a comforting, repetitive action that has a sigh leaving his mouth. Instinctively he leans back, head resting against your thighs and you giggle, the sound warming his heart from the inside out.
“You’re quiet tonight.” You observe after a few minutes. At your words, Kyoujurou opens his eyes slowly, a slightly self deprecating smile tugging at his lips. Of course you’d notice. “Is there something on your mind?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, taking a moment to collect the scattered pieces of his thoughts as you rub the tips of his hair between the towel, fingers combing through the unruly strands. It’s not a notion that is new to him - every day he bids you goodbye to head out on yet another dangerous mission, a quiet voice in him asks if you ever regret being with someone like him.
You’re more than he deserves, surely.
“Don’t ever say that.” You chide, and Kyoujurou suddenly realises that he’s said his thoughts out loud. Instantly ashamed of his thoughts, he shakes his head, pulling a quick smile onto his lips to placate your concern.
“I must be more tired than I thought I was.” Kyoujurou says. Insecure, afraid. Those are not words that tend to come to mind when thinking about Rengoku Kyoujurou, and yet Kyoujurou knows deep down that it is what he is. “Come, let’s go to bed. I’m sure it’s just the exhaustion talking. I’ll be fine tomorrow morning!”
“You’re not escaping me that easily.” With a light hum, you move to kneel in front of his, hands clasping the sides of his face firmly. Even when he tries to avoid your gaze, your eyes are unwavering, and when he looks into them he sees only love there. It’s impossible to look away. “How long have you been feeling this way, Kyo?”
The soft, affectionate way you call him has his head hanging in embarrassment, his bottom lip between his teeth as he struggles to form the words. You don’t push him, fingers stroking gently along his cheekbones as you wait for him to be honest with you.
“For a while now.” He answers, hesitant. It’s a silly, irrational thought, Kyoujurou knows that, but it clings onto the back of his mind, refusing to release him from its clutches. His father’s voice echoes again and again in his head, you are weak, you are worthless, and surely someone like him is not worth all the pain and worry that comes with loving him.
“Lean forward for me?” Your sudden request leaves Kyoujurou a little confused, but he obliges, bringing your faces closer together. Before he can say a word to explain himself, you’re leaning down to kiss him, nipping lightly on his lips as if to punish him for ever saying such a thing.
“Don’t ever say that again.” You repeat against his mouth, hands bracing against his chest. He moans into your mouth, head spinning as you thoroughly kiss his lips, relentless in devouring him whole. “You have no idea just how much I love you, Kyoujurou. I would give you the world if I could.” Your tongue licks into his mouth and his back arches in response, trying to bring your bodies as close together as possible.
“You give me more than I deserve, while I cannot do the same for you.” Kyoujurou murmurs, his heart clenching as he looks over you. Your eyes narrow at his words. “You should have someone who is able to stay by your side all the time. Someone whom you will be able to build a happy family with. Someone you can love more easily.”
The words make his heart ache. The thought of you by anyone’s side but his pains him so much he can’t put into words, however, if it would make you happier in the long run, he’d give you up no matter what it costs him.
Because your happiness is what matters the most to him.
All of a sudden you swing a leg over his hip so that you’re sitting on him, your noses brushing together as you kiss him once more. “I will do all those things together with you.” You tell him firmly, one finger pressed firmly against his lips as if to prevent him from arguing with you. You’re absolutely beautiful when you look at him this way, eyes burning with a determination that draws him to you like a moth to a flame. “All you need to worry about is yourself. As for how easy it is for me to love you,” you nuzzle the crook of his neck, lightly sucking on the skin there, and a low groan leaves his mouth before he can stop it. “Do I have to show it to you in a way that you can understand?”
“A way I-” Kyoujurou asks aloud, confused. In response, you take one of his hands in yours, unfurling his fingers carefully to trace the calluses on his palm, there from years of holding the sword since he’s been a child. He watches with bated breath as you raise his hand to your mouth, pressing a kiss to his palm reverently.
“So strong.” You whisper, and Kyoujurou feels warmth spread over his fingers and down his arm. “You’ve put in so much effort to save others, Kyoujurou. I’ve watched the way you practice the sword tirelessly every day for years, even when you were exhausted or injured.” You kiss his knuckles, lips brushing over the bone white scars on his skin. “I love your dedication.”
He flushes lightly at your unrestrained praises. Kyoujurou has rarely been complimented this way - his behavior is only natural for that of a Pillar. “I only did what was expected of me-”
“And this mouth.” You interrupt by tapping at his lips lightly with a finger, and he finds himself unable to continue. “Your smile is always so bright, your words always so encouraging. Also,” you lean down to kiss the corners of his mouth, a smile dancing on your own lips that makes him want to kiss them again and again, “your lips are so soft. So easy to kiss. I can never resist them.”
Kyoujurou breathes your name softly, almost a prayer on his lips. You hear him, moving down to trace a scar on his chest, right above his heart. “But most of all, I love your heart.” Your head dips down to kiss the naked skin there, so gentle it almost brings tears to his eyes. “Despite the pain you’ve endured, you’re never unkind. You’re always courageous, so selfless in everything you do, and your heart is strong and gentle. I love you, Kyoujurou.”
“Mmnn.” That’s all he manages to make out, his throat suddenly thick. The words that his father had once spoken to him echo hollowly in the back of his mind, but he can’t hear them over the thumping of his heart. You smile at the expression on his face, reaching down to brush a tear at the corner of his eye - one that he didn’t even realise was falling.
“Look.” You say softly, looking up at him, your gaze filled with nothing but tenderness. “In my eyes, I see a beautiful, strong man named Rengoku Kyoujurou. I see his smile and his strength. I see his scars and his insecurities. And I still love every part of him,” he has to fight the embarrassed smile twitching onto his lips when you kiss him again, “very, very much. Whatever may come, I’ve chosen to love him and be with him for the rest of my life. Got that, my silly husband?”
“I got it.” Pulling you closer so that you’re situated in his lap, Kyoujurou wraps his arms around you and rests his head on your shoulder. Taking in a shuddering breath, he manages a smile, closing his eyes to enjoy your warmth. “Thank you, darling.”
You hum, fingers tracing little circles on his collarbone. It’s a pleasant sound. “I was just telling the truth.” Your hands clasp his tightly. “Tell me if you feel this way again, alright?”
“I will. But perhaps... can we stay this way for just a while longer?”
“Of course we can, Kyoujurou.”
#rengoku#rengoku fanfic#rengoku kyojuro#kyojuro#kyoujurou#rengoku kyojuro x reader#demon slayer#demon slayer fanfic#kimetsu no yaiba#kimetsu no yaiba fanfic#kimetsu rengoku#kimetsu kyojuro#kny fanfic#kny#kny kyojuro
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"Spending time together is quite rare for Lady Nozomi Kazuyuki and her husband, Kazuyuki Nobuyuki, She had to work overseas now and then with her brother, and Everytime they had time to kill, they would watch the snow falling beautifully from the sky, making themselves comfortable in each other's arms"
(Fifteen's OTP Draft)
FINALLY, I finally finished it after long time of art block and procrastinating, I finally finished it, in 3AM lmao
And this is a little fanart gift for dear @bingsu-chan of the grown up version of my son Nobuyuki (feat him having a mini low ponytail like his dad UwU) and her daughter, Nozomi (we kindred because our kids married to each other, hehe)
Plus I really want to draw them coz I miss them u.u, I hope you like it! I apologise for the errors!
#kimetsu no yaiba oc#kny oc#demon slayer oc#oc#my oc#other's oc#I once again cannot avoid the white lines of death#*cri*#oc x oc#Kazuyuki Nozomi#Aoyanagi Nobuyuki
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