#on their fear and hatred
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Years ago (crazy to think about how many years, honestly), I started Sands of Time as writing practice to see if I could get into the practice of writing on a regular schedule (it failed). I had a bunny inspired by thinking too much about Ganondorf and his role in OoT and WW, decided it was as good as an excuse as any to work on writing regularly (failed so hard), and it ended up becoming a love letter to a game series which I've loved almost my entire life.
That fic kept going and going and taught me so much about writing, both in general and fanfic-specific. It ended up being far longer than planned, more detailed than planned, and even when I was distracted and tired and side-eyeing this massive WIP, it reminded me of how much I loved the Zelda games and the many details, overt and subtle, in them. Writing was more than just putting words on paper: it was translating the things I was passionate about. Even if there are some definite issues in the fic due to the many distractions occurring during its creation and how sometimes I wrote less because I was passionate to write and more because I was just stubborn about seeing the fic through, it's still a fic I'm very proud of. It is also, without a shadow of a doubt, my most popular fic. It is a fic that someone refused to rec because they wanted to hit lesser known Zelda fics, and holy shit, I preened when I read that.
I have been struggling with fic and fandom in the last year for many reasons, including some serious RL stressors. The other big reasons have to do with the evolution of fandom itself. I'm not talking about the rise and fall of the popularity of certain things. For example, while I'm not a fan of "reader" fic, I feel like it's a fantastic example of the things that can be done with the fanfiction medium and also a way to explore how tropes/genres/random things in fanfiction reflect different cultural changes in the same way horror movies do. What I hate, though, is the rise of negative feelings and negative takes in fandom, transforming it from a fun, collaborative atmosphere into an arena full of witch hunts, deliberately bad takes, and people terrified to write because they are afraid of being attacked for their content, pairing, writing styles, grammar, etc. I love fandom as a love letter to canon, an exploration of canon, an exploration of self and writing styles, among other things. Now it feels like it's no longer that.
Back in the Old Days, people put disclaimers on fics because they didn't want to be sued. Now people put disclaimers on things assuring readers that of course they don't advocate these things, these things are bad, they know it, they aren't a criminal, they aren't a pedophile, they aren't a Bad Person. Now I see people skip summaries just to tell people to stop attacking them for their pairing and to just let them write what they like.
I see people indulging in deliberate bad takes of the original content, of the original creators, of other writers in fandom, of different tropes, of game mechanics... fucking everything. Sometimes it's just a nasty circle. Sometimes it's done to elevate something else, because we all know the only way to elevate something is to put something else down. I understand vent sessions. I understand going to a friend and going "Holy shit, did you see that summary??? Wow!" It should stop life as a quick vent. It shouldn't make up the person's entire personality. It shouldn't require a full online presence. Hate should never be detailed in the comments. Call-out posts should be left to actual nazis, terfs, etc., not to someone who wrote a "gross" or "unhealthy" or whatever pairing. Seriously. If you waste so much time on that, you need to look into some self-exploration and therapy. In all sincerity.
Fanfiction is not a published work. It should be fun. It is put online to be shared with fellow fans. It is something where someone gets excited about something or has an idea about something or wants to explore something or just wants to write some kinky porn and then share it with fellow fans. That's why writers post work and then sit eagerly .02 seconds later waiting for people to comment on it because they want to share their thoughts and love and happiness and excitement and sadness and grief and their general emotions with others and they want those others to respond and share their thoughts and reactions, too!
I just saw a post tearing into Moffat's Sherlock series because it lacked sincerity for the audience and source material and instead indulged in its arrogance, contempt, and self-righteousness. My immediate thoughts turned to the Lord of the Rings movies. If Sherlock is remembered, it will be purely in the critical sense, an example as to how a popular series was forgotten and dismissed. LotR remains loved. It is a classic. It is something people repeatedly marathon despite the lengthy watch time. LotR was a love letter to its source material. It wasn't just the writers and directors: everyone involved was sincerely, fiercely passionate about it, and it shows. It drags the watchers in, prompted people who had never read the original to pick up the books, inspired so much fanfiction. It was sincere and passionate and loving and, in turn, its fans are sincere and passionate and loving.
The LotR movies explored and loved the genre, the characters, the message. Even when characters faltered, it didn't make them terrible people. It made watchers hold their breath, it made watchers cheer them on, it made watchers hope. Check out people who do bad takes of Frodo and his struggle with the Ring and watch how many people come out of the woodwork to defend Frodo. There was no tongue-in-cheek humor mocking the source material. There was no critical analysis of "Well, you see, this is how the hero was actually stupid." No. It was sincere. It was loving. It still makes people cry and cheer and happy even when they're wiping away a sad tear or two.
I've read fanfics where the writers insist on the worst takes for the characters. It isn't done out of humor or a teasing love or an exploration into the characters/writing styles/etc. The writers want to drag the characters down, put themselves on a pedestal, and do it not through sincere analysis but by doing the worst possible takes on the situation. This usually relies on going into the source material with a negative mindset and desiring negativity in return, feeding primarily on the negative takes of others rather than looking into the source material or looking for positive takes, or just having a "bad faith" mindset. They go into it with an axe to grind and want to drag everyone else down with them. It isn't one or two fics: it's a growing, poisonous movement which is one of the things driving people out of fandom. It isn't a love letter to the source material. It is hate and disgust and contempt and Moffat writing Sherlock, patting himself on the back all the while and surrounding himself with people doing the same exact thing.
I'm a strong believer in people writing whatever they want to write. You want to write this character being evil? Sure! You hate this character and want to make them OOC to bash them even more? Go for it! I've written so many things testing how far I could go or feeling angsty and wanting others to feel angsty or even feeling happy and grinning like a feral gremlin as people wrote comments talking about how the angst in the story made them bawl. Want to write vore? Want to write character death? Whatever! It is fucking fiction, and it should be something you can enjoy doing. Hell, an asexual person can write two people fucking without wanting to get fucked. A lesbian can write two men fucking. A pacifist can write a murder mystery. It is fiction. Write whatever you want, and I hope that you feel better after doing so, even if it is only in the catharsis way of having a bad day and getting it out by making characters bleed.
Already, I can fucking hear people insisting that all of this makes you a bad person. No. No. If you truly believe that, it means you don't understand writing. You don't understand art. OR it's not a misunderstanding but a deliberate Bad Take, an extension of the poison I described above, because you want to attack someone and you want any opening. See: Republicans going after Drag Queens now, probably not actually believing that Drag Queens are harmful but recognizing vulnerability and knowing they can manipulate others through hatred. If you truly believed that, you would be wondering about Stephen King and other writers, but instead, you use conservative attacks and uncritically promote purity culture and are oblivious to the day when the leopard turns around to eat your face.
It's exhausting. It's a growing trend that is poisoning the water that is fandom and is not only playing a part in driving people out, but is keeping people from ever trying their hand in the first place. It is keeping people from enjoying what should be a fun thing. It is fucking poisoning minds, because this is a damned slippery slope. Hammer/nail and all that. It is seeing one thing as "problematic" and knocking over one tile and then seeing a full domino effect because they never bothered to analyze what "problematic" meant or why they found that "problematic." It is people grabbing a torch with the hope they won't find themselves on the stake.
Let people enjoy fandom. Try having positive takes. Let fanfiction and fanart and fanworks in general be something enjoyable again. Maybe some people use it as a way to vent current political issues. Maybe some people want to explore certain sexual kinks and writing these two (or three or five or seven) characters going at it is a great way to do it. Maybe they had a funny thought and want to share it via fanfiction. Whatever. We can't go online and bash people like Moffat and then casually do the same exact thing. We can't bitch about conservative politicians attacking people and then use the same exact thought processes and methods to attack others.
Let people be sincere in their enjoyment. If you don't like it, find something you do like. Maybe take some time with some tools and explore things which make you happy instead of indulging in deliberate bad takes to tear others down and use those takes to bind yourself to others and their bad takes like barbwire. Remember why things like LotR lives on and makes people so happy and why Moffat's works are going to be used in classes in the future as to what not to do.
#rant#purity culture#fandom#this wasn't what the rant was supposed to be about#i got off topic#but i've seen some things lately#and they've enraged me#critical thinking#try it#instead of mindless#self-righteous#emotional responses#in all sincerity#that is how fucking TRUMP got elected#focusing on people's emotions#on their fear and hatred#on their need to fit in#or push other people down#on riling people up#so they didn't think#they literally had torches#c'mon people#went longer than i thought#oops
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Are you enjoying your journey, "hero"?
#pspsps.. morse code decorders.. where are thou...#block tales#blocktales#block tales greed#block tales solitude#block tales fear#block tales hatred#if youre wondering why ive been uploading alot#lets just say demo 3 revived me from the dead#fr pulled me out of my art block
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the miserable Snake again.. love is in the air? WRONG!!!!! ABYSSAL SERPENT
#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#base serpent messmer#messmer the impaler#marika the eternal#soulsborne#fromsoftware#my art#i can draw him in one [1] pose it seems#still so fucked up that miquella and messmer are basically two sides of the same coin#one who embraces their curse despite their hatred and contempt for it#and one who desperately cuts off pieces of himself to undo it. destroying himself in the process#guy who is a warfaring feared commander but is so sad about it and misses his mom as opposed to#guy so full of love who wants to make the world a better place accidentally turns himself into a would-be tyrant#sigh. i Hate elden ring
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I had a dream about Sebek and a fly.
Sebek was going about his normal business, when he noticed a fly sitting on his hand. He casually brushed the fly off, before lifting his gaze to resume his duties. However, out of the corner of his vision, he caught sight of the fly, back on his hand. He swatted at it again. But somehow, it remained where it was. He shook his hand, twisted it about, swiped at it multiple times but no matter how hard he tried to get rid of it, the fly remained on his hand. Growing increasingly frustrated, he even tried to crush the fly in his hand. But the fly still remained. He couldn't help but let out a cry of anger and upset as tears began to stream down his face, for he was desperate to be rid of this fly. This fly that would not release its hold on him. This fly that clung to the back of his mind every second of the day. And there was nothing he could do but despair.
#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#my art#fly symbolism...#flies can represent the brevity of human life#so given sebek's... *motions* everything#his whole issue with humans... which comes from his own internal struggles and self hatred#BUT ALSO what I believe comes from a very strong fear of human fragility#like his father or silver or all of his school mates won't be in his life for very long...#well.. this all just makes for good angst doesn't it#this might be a concept i will flesh out more in the future#but it would take some work to portray it the way i would want#so for now this will do#even while unconscious my brain thinks of ways to make sebek suffer#silver and lilia and malleus comforted him at the end of the dream tho so it's okay#he's just a big mess
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Block tales demo :3
It had more of Yume Nikki Vibes 2 me instead of Omori,but I LOVE the animations for each enemy, there's a lot of love put into the 2D animation, especially for Roblox
This barely has any effort put into it I'm in artists block rn
#block tales#block tales demo 3#block tales dream world#block tales hatred#block tales avarice#or greed#idk#block tales solitude#block tales fear
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Panels with Time and the Master Sword are my favorite flavor of angst
Credit to @linkeduniverse
#there’s definitely a conflict brewing here#time and sky are gonna argue about this at some point I can feel it#maybe time will even find himself in a situation where he has to use the master sword#probably to save the boys#and he has to push through his hatred (and fear) of it#either way#jojo’s definitely not finished with Time’s complicated relationship with this sword#linkeduniverse#linked universe#lu time#trin rambles#lu update spoilers
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Me when I said I'd be annoying but then I get a job 🫤
#fear and hunger#fear and hunger termina#daan fear and hunger#daan von dutch#levi fear and hunger#levi jordan#fear and hunger pav#pavel yudin#fear and hunger karin#karin sauer#fear and hunger marina#marina domek#fear and hunger abella#rip no canon surname for abella#i havent really had time to draw 😔😔#also wish i had time to make a levi animatic.. *sigh* someday...#anyway go listen to home is where the hatred is by gil scott heron and see my vision pretty please
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Ermm
uuhmm ...
No I d9n't have a heavy hyperfixation of fear what do yoh mean ??
#art#block tales#block tales art#block tales fear#block tales hatred#block tales solitude#block tales greed
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my silly block tales chapter 3 fanart (the last one is a reference to the pit floor 39 btw)
#bluetechart#art#block tales#block tales fanart#block tales chapter 3#block tales ch3#block tales greed#block tales solitude#block tales hatred#block tales fear
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This part in 32 chp always felt kind of odd to me and this is the reason why:
The coward wolf boy, Lock. Until Choi Han found him, Lock had been hiding as the chief had told him. The Lock at that point is very much a coward, a weakling, and kind of slow. In simple terms, Lock easily took the position of the character that readers found to be extremely frustrating.
This has bothered me since I first read the novel, and to this day, even after several rereads, it still haunts me.
Cale simply isn't the type of a person to actually call a kid, no matter how they behave, to be "frustrating".
(When the text said "readers" it's damn well obvious of Cale being the one to think so.)
Pondering for some time I can roughly guess why the wording was so unexpected for his character.
At the time of the assassination/kindaping in the village, Lock was only thirteen years old. He also hasn't had his first berserk transformation yet. Therefore it is not surprising that Lock's uncle hid him and told not to go out, saying that everything was fine and he should continue to hide.
Now let's look at the situation realistically.
Lock (in tcf) jumps out of his hiding to protect his younger siblings. The adrenaline and inner Blue Wolf Tribe's instincts to protect turned on his berserk transportation one year beforehand, however if not Rosalyn and Choi Han, who came earlier than in the actual novel, i don't think it would help much.
Lock would possibly be able to kill a few people or at least seriously injure them, but CMON. They killed an ENTIRE village full of berserk Blue Wolf's and with almost-Wolf King (Lock's uncle). Do you really believe that a thirteen years old boy jumping into his first berserk transformation would be able to fight properly against strong organization that had holy water or some sort of holy artefact on their hands?
Again, if not for Choi Han's and Rosalyn's arrival... it would have definitely ended pretty bad.
In TBOAH Lock for some reason didn't jump out. Different circumstances, wrong wroted part in the novel, idk, but the fact is stated: Lock stayed hidden. He also most likely survived only because of Choi Han's help. Just with much worse scenario where he was left alone from the whole village.
And it wasn't Lock's fault yet again. He was a child. No matter if a Beastman one or not, the boy was just an innocent, naive and weak child.
So why would Cale, Kim Rok Soo at the time, find him frustrating? Extremely so even!
The answer is much easier if you think about it.
Because it wasn't Kim Rok Soo blaming a kid for being weak and cowardly in a fearful situation, it was a man who saw his own past that he hated so much.
A coward, a weakling and kind of slow.
For Rok Soo, who blamed himself for half of his life for the deaths of team one members, Lock was like a salt for still open, but ignored wounds.
KRS greatly disliked and maybe even envied Lock for a bit. The boy got a new family, he got friends and some sort of guidance from them even after facing so much despair.
While he was all alone, trying to understand what to do on his own.
It sure is irritating for Rok Soo.
Yet Team Leader Kim Rok Soo was probably unable to fully hate Lock for his weakness, because while the latter was still a kid, the same forgiveness can't be used on him. At least in his own head.
So with conflicting feelings Cale settled on "Extremely frustrating" description.
#overall it is actually just my sleepy thoughts#KRS's self-hatred is so strong it is kind of amazing but mostly heart breaking#this man holds too much trauma#and with each novel update i fear that we still don't know all of it#i love Lock's and Cale's relationship so this is why i was really questioning this part#pls cry with me because of this realization#tcf#trash of the count's family#lcf#lout of the count’s family#cale henituse#tcf cale#lcf cale#tcf lock#lcf lark#tcf novel#lcf novel#kim rok soo
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i've never played blocktales
#blocktales#block tales#roblox block tales#block tales hatred#block tales greed#block tales fear#block tales solitude#block tales chapter 3
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thinking abt dadspy again
#tf2#scout#spy#dadspy#team fortress two#fanart#art#doodle#tf2 fanart#team fortress 2#i love how i drew baby scout in the first panel (?) he just looks so empty i love it#anywaz dadspy is so so so good#*points* this father can fit so much self hatred and fear#me when i run from my child because i’m scared of commitment and also messing up because if i raise him he will become just like me#<- is filled with self hate and insecurity#or maybe there’s some other reason he left but i like this type of character complexity..#spy truly is the girl of the world#i just realized theyre both on the same team OOPS.#whatever. this is them sparring idc idc
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Silly guy gets destroyed by a bunch of bozos
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//BLOCK TALES DEMO 3 SPOILERS AHEAD!!
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Get fucking Sprunki style’d, you androgynous 2d bitches that somehow lives in my head
#incredibox sprunki#sprunki#roblox block tales#block tales#block tales fanart#block tales greed#block tales solitude#block tales fear#block tales hatred
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I dont post here much but I like these so they're going here. I made them cats.
#art#my art#digital art#block tales#block tales fear#block tales greed#block tales solitude#block tales hatred
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I miss them, can they interact again Also, I don't remember what event it exactly was, but I do remember that they jokingly left together towards a sunset, it might have been during Festa Junina
#qsmp#badboyhalo#qsmp pac#pachalo#qsmp fanarts#mmangoarts#I kind of miss them pre-purgatory wise because Pac's fear and hatred of Bad was so good and calling him a monster behind his back#but he also still gave him flowers and told him he would be there for him despite his feelings about him because he still cared#But I do still like them after purgatory because the bantering and teasing between them was more comfortable and kind of a nice contrast to#how they used to be before with each other
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