#on the topic of pronouns; i do image descriptions and will use she/her for will on anything i or mountain make

[200grandbeaverave]

Hello, donate to these vetted campaigns and I'll draw for you!

[magidoggie]

A LOOK INTO SHI/HIR PRONOUNS AND THEIR ORIGINS

So I’ve seen people claim that shi/hir pronouns are intersex exclusive (mostly intersex people), and others say they aren’t (mostly non-intersex people)

As an intersex person, I've been confused about this for a while, so I decided to look into it

THIS POST WILL CONTAIN NSFW TOPICS, FURRIES, TALKS OF FETISHIZATION OF INTERSEX BODIES, AND INTERSEX SLURS!

Most of the users of these pronouns seem to be non-intersex people, but there are also intersex people who use them.

I've seen a decent amount of intersex people say that shi/hir pronouns are only ours to use, as they were used against us (like a shortened version of he-she). This would make them basically slurs that only we can reclaim.

I've even seen some claims that Geoffrey Chaucer himself coined these words?? (The chaucer thing, I haven't been able to find a source for. Even so, it is most likely just an old spelling of "she/her")

I’ve seen people say it originated on 4chan. It'd be hard to verify, as 4chan is known for not keeping threads up for long. There are 4chan archives, but I've tried my hardest to look for any combinations of things like "shi" and different terms that could work with it like "intersex" "freak" or "hermaphrodite" . I don't doubt it's been used on 4chan, but I can't find much, and archival sites don't go back far enough.

Regardless, the pronouns seem quite old. One thing I did find under the search of ""4chan" shi hir" on Google, was a.. descriptive post on a furry porn website called e621.net

Okay, 13 years ago, that's a start. It certainly contains the word "herm" (short for hermaphrodite), and the word intersex used with this pronoun.

Godspeed TheShadowfox42 I hope you found the image.

Using Google's "Before:(date)" feature, I searched "shi herm before:2010", and unsurprisingly, I found a lot of furry porn.

Stories on sofurry.com, a furry website that looks to be from at least 2007, if not older. I'll spare you the details, but indeed, there, they use shi/hir pronouns for their "herm" characters. Did these pronouns originate from.. furries?? I put that though aside for now, to look further into other uses.

As it turns out, the journey does not end at 2007. Urban dictionary has an entry from 2003

No slurs here, it looks like a neutral usage. Again, going back to Google. Now, search terms "hir "gender neutral" before:2004"

Many results show up now, now articles rather than furries. American.edu (seems to be a university), Swarthmore.edu (this is a college), both from 2001. jstor.org with a journal article from 1999. Unfortunately I can't read that one, as I have to pay a whole $63 to purchase it. I even found a PDF file from 1994 by core.ac.uk

But, what I've realized now is this is not usage of shi/hir pronouns. All of these use Ze/hir pronouns. I don't know if there is any link, but the last pronoun looking the same must've obscured the results.

From the american.edu article on these pronouns. You can see the usage of "hir" alongside "ze", and below it, the usage of ze/zir pronouns, which seem to be used more today.

Shit.. Doing the search all over again with the pronoun "shi" yields.. very few results apart from people talking about Chinese words.

Wait what about those furries from earlier? The tvtropes.org article does include this:

Chakona space? Chakats? Pronouns he came up with? Admittedly I kept seeing these centaur feline hybrid characters come up quite consistently during this dive, but I had to look into it further.

Oh buddy what did I get myself into. This is from 2001 best I can tell, so we're getting quite old here. I scroll down on the page.

And lower down.

Now this is all very interesting speculative biology, but what I'm focusing on is again, the usage of "hermaphrodite" together with the pronouns "shi/hir". Did a furry artist named Bernard Doove come up with these pronouns.

It gets yet older.. New search, "chakats "shi" before:2001"

Again, Bernard Doove's art from 2000, 1999, 1998,

I find a website called yerf.metafur.org It has furry art, dating all the way back to the mid 1990's, but here, on December 23 1998, is the first appearance of these pronouns on that site.

This Bernard Doove person has been at this project, with these pronouns for a while.

From what I can tell, many of his art pieces, they seem to be quite sexual beings. Quite fetishistic of hermaphroditism at times. (or intersexuality, take your pick)

The other thing I found with my search was a website, furry.org.au/bosshoss/

My search says it's from September 14 1998.

That's certainly some information, but it might come in handy. So Chakat Goldfur provided this website? Who is that? Looking into it, that seems to be a character created by Bernard Doove, that acts as an alter ego. Further down, the person running this website lists some other websites they enjoy. One being "Proxima Centauri", which seems to be another furry artist.

"I met this one at ConFURence 8. Very interesting. (Did I mention shi is a hermaphrodite uni-centaur?)"

(For context, ConFURence is a furry convention held in 1997)

Again, the usage of hermaphrodite, and the pronoun shi. At this point, the website being linked to is long gone, but the wayback machine provides help. The website, http://www.spots.ab.ca/~unicorn/main.htm has been captured all the way back to October 8th 1997.

At this time, the website was under construction. No images are willing to load and haven't been archived, but the description is intact.

So this person uses shi/hir pronouns for their hermaphroditic character all the way back in 1997. There are links to other places where this person used to host their works, but they are all down and haven't been archived. The thread is running thin..

Back to Bernard Doove, the Chakat creator. There must be something more to this. Turns out, there was. On the "yerf" website, I actually found several art pieces that were not picked up by Google.

Febuary 22 1997. Getting yet older. In some art pieces, Bernard references "Forest Tale" and "forest tales", so I went looking for whatever that was.

1995?? you've got to be kidding. It's an adult story involving these "chakat" beings, and sure enough, down the page

Shi/hir pronouns used over and over again.

With the use of hermaphrodite.

But.. This is kind of where it ends. I couldn't seem to find anything older, and I'm not going to contact Bernard Doove over this. Even something as old as 29 years is impressive to me. Bernard Doove states his characters were inspired by other furry artists' creatures of the time, but since it's 1995, there isn't much left for me to find here. Anything before that time is probably lost.

With all the information I have been able to gather, it looks to shi/hir pronouns were created by Bernard Doove who is a furry author and artist. Shi/hir were made to be a midway between "she" and "him" in some way, to be a gender neutral word for hermaphroditic genetically modified beings called "chakats" in his stories. As an intersex person myself, I don't enjoy the use of "hermaphrodite" in such a way, as it's a slur for us. But these types of characters also seem to be very old, and we, and our struggles, were completely unknown to the vast majority of people, even moreso than nowadays.

If you use those pronouns for an intersex person who doesn't use them, it is indeed intersexist, as you are implying we are hermaphrodites.

But as for whether only intersex people can use them? I'm not sure. The original intent doesn't seem be directly linked to intersex people. You could argue that these hermaphroditic characters are fetishized versions of how many people see us, and have seen us for a long time. Afterall, hermaphrodite was, and still is, a common slur for us.

I don't doubt some people have used these pronouns as slurs against us as well, but I also haven't found anything specifically that supports that. It always seemed to be for specific fictional characters that COULD be based off specific intersex attributes

I'm not going to argue one way or the other. This was just me trying to find what I could about these pronouns and their history. Just be mindful of how you use these pronouns, and the connections they have to fetishes revolving around the common misinterpretation of intersex bodies (as in, "having both parts")

Thank you for reading.

I hope you learned something. I know I did, and I now have a headache.

[createwithintent]

My fav manifesting methods

For the girlies who enjoy variation in their manifestation process

Scripting

Supplies: pen, paper (pref a notebook or js ur notes app)

Scripting is basically when you write out your manifestations in the past tense, e.g.: "I recently went shopping with my mom" or "my dad recently gave me 100 € to go shopping!" While also trying to describe how you feel in that described moment. So it'd be something like "I'm so happy, today I went to the beach with my friends, we went thrifting, picked shells and got ice cream together, I am so grateful to spend time with them."

An important sidenote is to be grateful, seeing that gratitude is an important aspect of manifestation (at least it is in my manifestation process) because the universe can't deny a grateful person. (in my personal belief)

And to expand on this, here's a method I've been using these past days (I dont know where I got this idea from though)

Writing letters

Another cool method is to write texts/letters in your SP's name or to get a specific desire.

For example: Dear Elle (my name) we of so and so are glad to let you know that you have been admitted to our [desire]!

And you can vary on this! Say I want someone to apologise to me, I can just write something out in my notes or a physical sheet of paper and either get rid of it (or keep it, you do you!) And boom! You just manifested your desire!!

Pretending to be a narrator in a story

This method basically entails that you pretend to be e.g. an all-knowing narrator of a story that draws out a scene of a character(s) and adds a description. (Like the one from Eah!)

(Maybe add a twist and pretend to be a sassy side character in an early 2000s TV show that just saw the two MCs kiss and is ab to spread rumors— just get creative.)

So it's pretty much a fanfic on crack except it actually comes to life because we're all master manifesters ✨️

Oh and if you can't draw just manifest that you can draw‐

And if you don't wanna put too much effort into this, just draw stick men or items to represent your desires/specific people :P

This also relates to scripting

Vision boards

Supplies: use either Pinterest or an in-person scrapbook with magazine cutouts and drawings

I feel like this mostly speaks for itself, after all: an image says more than a thousand words.

Seeing your desire in an image can help your brain kinda 'target' your desire.

Your brain doesn't know the difference between reality and imagination so essentially you're gaslighting yourself into a specific idea/mindset/etc.

Also here's an example of one of my personal vision boards which i used to manifest all As for my finals last year.

Simonesquared and Fernanda Ramirez both have amazing videos and explanations on these topics, i suggest watching them to get a better idea on making vision boards. (Tho i might just make a masterlist with different links/explanations/deets sometime!)

Subliminals/affirmation tapes

Supplies:earbuds/headphones (optional), any device

If you've been in this community for long enough I'm sure you know what they are and if not here's a brief explanation.

Then there are affirmation tapes, these are the same as subliminal except the affirmations are meant to be heard to be get picked up by your conscious mind as well.

If you haven't used any before, here are some subliminal creators that put out amazing content and deserve each snd every ounce of support!

Slade (all pronouns) they practice Indian folk and also make subs that are shifting-related (for my shifters out there), though their subs don't contain any witchcraft unless specifically mentioned.

Moza morph is a medical student who makes subs, the benefits of her subliminals are thought out very well and quite descriptive. She makes great content regarding manifestation and the workings of subliminals too.

Baejin cafe and mii! both make a wide variety of subliminals but their school and grade related subliminals are popular for very good reasons!

Guided meditations

Supplies: a device, earbuds/headphones (I recommend using these for a better immersive experience)

A brief explanation on meditation can be found here.

Even though i dont use this method as often, i notice that it helps my focus and gives me clarity therefore I highly suggest it to others new in the game.

Here are some favs (YouTube links)

Guided meditation for meeting your future self

Guided meditation for self love

Also this one by Joe dispenza just because he's the goat

Visualization

Supplies: just you and your brain

I consider this by far the easiest manifestation method since you can do it literally anywhere.

It's pretty much just daydreaming about your desires, and if you're particularly into it you can listen to some music with lyrics that is aligned with your goals. (For example: I listen to Lucky girl by Carlina to enhance my lucky girl syndrome while daydreaming)

And it doesn't necessarily have to be based on your sight, if you can delusion yourself into hearing your SP's heartbeat, or condition yourself into smelling your fav flowers in the living room, then you're good!

(Sometimes when I'm watching a TV show that's one of my DRs I also visualize my highest self randomly chiming in or saying or doing something I'd say)

That's all for today!

And remember

If you have it in your imagination, it's already yours.

Stay educated and hot

With love

Elle 🤍

[saspitite]

click here for simplified/plain-text/screen reader friendly version

CARRD | PRONOUNS | KO-FI

hi, i'm saspitite, but you can call me sas, saph, or cadaver!! genderqueer shrimp has breached the internet!!! i use any pronouns but she/her :) i sometimes blog in finnish.

i have been dubbed as the "shrimp blog" and "hevisaurus blog" several times on separate occasions and i take great pride in that

current icon: #062 from Drowned Shrimp

current header: a post-concert photo of Heavysaurus

sideblogs

@saspitidy - art blog

@is-the-shrimp-video-cute - blog giving context to videos/general media involving shrimp and some other crustaceans

@hotelmabiya - in-character flight rising clan lore blog (hiatus)

@ebiquest - game project blog (hiatus)

all about me

➸ this mess is a place just so you know. i will be reblogging All sorts of shit. i try my best to tag so you can filter for your own curated experience but i am not perfect 👍

this is not completely a politically-based blog but i might occasionally reblog that kinda stuff. hide #shrimpolitics if you don't wanna see it.

i also love to post about gay things and the Good Ol Leftist Agenda so there's that. i don't really have a tag for it yet (and probably never will) so, uh, suffer. serious/heavy issues are tagged as #serious stuff... if i can remember to use that one

and i also love posting about shrimp/crustaceans!! my general posting tag is #shrimposting and my general reblogging tag is #shimpy shemps (note that these aren't EXCLUSIVELY just for shrimp, but for other crustaceans too sometimes). if you see a shrimp in a post and wanna know what species it is (or if there's just general context in relation to shrimp missing) you can tag my sideblog @is-the-shrimp-video-cute and i'll most likely be able to answer because i'm just that normal about them lol

(more tag info found towards the bottom)

➸ messages and asks are always open, please just don’t spam me, it makes me nervous!!

➸ MESSAGES ARE OPEN TO THE PUBLIC AGAIN! i thought my old system was a bit tiring so i just opened them back up.

➸ pretty please pleaseeee send me asks in general i love answering them!! (/nf)

➸ i do my best to add image descriptions for any images/gifs i add in my posts, but i may occasionally forget to/don't know how to describe them. do let me know if i should add/fix an id for anything in any of my posts!!

➸ mutuals are free to ask about any possible phobias/triggers i need tagged if they'd like, i just removed that information publicly for safety reasons.

➸ btw i love all trans people and aros and aces and mspec lesbians and bi lesbians and afab transfems/amab transmascs and multigender people and queer poc and disabled queers and fat queers and neurodivergent queers! i do not care what people say about you i love you forever!!!!!!!

➸ also i say faggot and dyke and tranny a lot. so uhm idk block me if you're a coward

➸ DNI if you: have a human body, breathe oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide, eat food to survive, physically exist, have cooties (AHHHHH!!!!), or have joy and whimsy in your heart!!!!!!! (^ if its not obvious, this is satire. ^)

tags

(reblogs)

"#giggle" - posts i think are especially funny

"#gold star sticker" - my all time faves

"#shimpy shemps" - posts about shrimp/crustaceans not made by me

"#shrimpolitics" - political bullshit

"#serious stuff" - posts touching on serious or heavy topics, may sometimes contain triggering subjects

"#identifying shrimp / identifying crustaceans" - me adding the species of a shrimp/crustacean found in a post (if its not already outright stated) !!

"#out of all the posts out there this is certainly one of them" - posts that took me like 300 rereads to mildly comprehend and i still don't fully get what's happening. yet i reblog

"#(____) wunk" - i have no clue how but this became my tag for rabbits.

(posts)

"#sas says" - just a normal post i'll make, maybe a random life update or a funny joke i wanted to share

"#sas scavenging" - me showing off something i recently found/bought, which could be anything from t-shirts to rocks

"#shrimposting" - me blabbing about various crustaceans, typically fun facts and whatnot

"#shrimping" - any of my irl activities and whatnot that involves me wearing my shrimp costumes (like conventions and events!!)

"#the shrimployee" - work rants

"#sas' shrimptopia" - posts of my 10 gallon shrimp tank (will make a dedicated post later)

"#venusposting" - posts of my cat venus - now retired... :(

"#sas spiels" - writing/creative concepts that might not be fully fleshed out, just me sharing some thoughts i had in my head

"#sas stories" - my writing!!

"#sas scribbles" - my art!!

"#sas songs" - my music!!

"#a terrible thing has happened" - a terrible thing has happened

"#cosmic intertwines" - my eldritch horror universe (note that this is an umbrella name for all of my fictional worlds listed below and may be tagged in posts that focus on other worlds, but is usually reserved for the gods and outer activity of my fictional universe)

“#machina mundi” - an advanced post-apocalyptic robot world

"#hotel mabiya" - my flight rising clan

"#belet's dream" - a world of diverse anthropomorphic animals

"#the intergalactic voyagers" - the saga of a group of friends and their exploration of the cosmos! (takes place in the same world as "belet's dream")

[trans-leek-cookie]

The most normal blog on Tumblr dot com. You can kill me with an axe to take my title

hi. I'm some guy on the internet

I dont really have a name I go by online so just call me CVS, J, or Slime, or whatecer. I'm TME and some kinda nonhuman (trans) man, Chinese/White and use he/him, they/them, xe/xem, and whatever other pronouns (minus she/her). I'm also aro/ace

I'm regularly dealing with Mental Health Issues, primarily severe depression mixed with Grief. I'm also just kind of a cunt. This all means I am very Negative as a person.

Proshippers/anti antis, AO3 supporters, transandrophobia truthers, zionists etc. Given the chance I would kill us both.

Not as strong but I'll probably block you if you're a bi/mspec lesbian (and similar label) supporter, "toothpaste" (green+blue) gay flag user, or pro-endogenic systems. Just block me or whatever we shouldn't interact

Also no minors thanks. No hard feelings.

Also- for the love of God Do Not Interact or Follow if you are an ED focused blog. I'm not gonna make any judgements but that topic is just one that is BAD for my mental health.

If you follow me I may look thru ur blog. If I dont vibe I'll probably hard block this isn't super serious the block button is just so fun to press.

I try to tag common triggers as either #(trigger) TW / #(trigger) / #(trigger) ment. The TW form is most common. If I'm unsure it will be tagged "#ask to tag" BUT even if it's not tagged that I'm fine with tagging whatever. I do have a pretty bad memory so if you need a more obscure trigger to always be tagged that probably won't work :^(

Sometimes I talk about personal issues with mental health. I try to tag these but it's not super consistent. Big things are anger issues/compulsive skin picking/Severe Depression.

Transandrophobia isn't real but I'm also the world's biggest transandrophobe. It's a hard job but someone's gotta do it.

Final notes: let me know if I RB from someone fucked up (and if possible please give me a link to the post cause memory issues + tumblr search being Bad is a horrid combo). If I say something fucked up PLEASE specify what it was don't make me assume. I try to write image descriptions for most of the images I post in alt text but they might be bad. I will often say violent or very angry shit bc I have Issues so if that's a problem. Yeah. I'm an artist and art makes me so mad I wish I was dead. Also I'm not into Cookie Run any more I just like Leek Cookie.

[violettelueur]

— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI || WHAT KIND OF PERSON IS YOUR TYPE?

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi (ft. zenin maki + zenin mai + kugisaki nobara + nishimiya momo + miwa kasumi + gojo satoru + iori utahime + itadori yuji) from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues

↳ form : imagine

↳ published : 19 february

↳ pronouns : non specified in imagine but mainly for she/her

↳ word count : 1.1k

↳ synopsis : after the filming of episode 15, you and a few girls in both tokyo and kyoto jujutsu tech were asked one question for this weeks jujutsu sanpo~

↳ request : Hi!! I hope you're having a great day!! I was wondering if I can request a megumi imagine where reader gets asked what's her type (like at the end of ep 15) and she just points to Megumi that's just talking to itadori?

↳ barista’s notes : so i really didn’t know how you wanted your coffee made....but i did it in the format on how the jujutsu sanpo was! i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and please don’t be shy to order again soon ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

                               JUJUTSU SANPO ♪~

QUESTION FOR THE DAY: WHAT KIND OF PERSON IS YOUR TYPE? 

While staring away from the person asking this question, Maki had somewhat of a straight face while the weapon she was carrying was casually leaning against her shoulder, as if the heavyweight didn’t bother her one single bit.

“Someone who’s stronger than me, at the very least,” Maki replied with a blunt tone as if trying to tell her person that she wasn’t in the mood or that the question they had just asked was really stupid.

Meanwhile with her twin, Zenin Mai…

“Huh? What makes you think I’ll answer?” Mai questioned with an irritated tone that matched the expression on her telling, expressing her annoyance at such questions since there was no way she was going to share her personal preference with someone she has never met before.

While outside the Jujutsu Tech school building, Kugisaki was outside with a pout on her face as she answered the same question in a strange way than the other two had.

“I totally can’t stand a UBSSD,” Kugisaki answered in a tone that seemed to be a mix of determination as well as annoyance, as the thought of her unidealistic type began to plague her mind.

U - Useless 

B - Broke 

S - Smelly

S - Stingy

D - Dead

While her opponent during the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event seemed to be engaged with her phone as droll began to slowly escape from the corner of her lips, as she continuously admires her phone like something on the screen was dearly precious to her - to which seemed like there was an image of a famous actor that she was a fan of.

“Do you know who Sebastian Stan is?” Nishimiya asked in a dreamy tone before letting out a cute giggle as her eyes were still permanently on the image on what now had been identified as Sebastian Stan’s Instagram. “He has a great body,” Noshmiya then commented, as her eyes turned from adoration to slight hunger.

While her second-year junior~

“Well, you know, I like hot guys, like most girls, but I want someone fun to be around, too,” Miwa stuttered with pale pink hues appearing on her face causing you, who was standing next to her, to look at your senior with a weird expression since you can somewhat tell who she was describing at this current moment in time.

‘Isn’t that somewhat Gojo-sensei?’

“And it’s important whether or not he can make you feel like he’s the only one for you,” she then mentioned cheerfully as if she was going to achieve something, leading to your weirded out face to soften slightly since she looked extremely adorable right now. “Oh, gosh, how embarrassing!” Miwa stated, as she suddenly realised that she had rambled her answer while waving her hand to brush off the slight embarrassment she was expressing.

Meanwhile~

                                          ꕥ

Inside one of the rooms within the Jujutsu Tech school, Gojo and Utahime were having a discussion together, where the conversation had landed on the topic of Gojo struggling to remember the name of the person he had taken a picture with.

“Uh, you know, uh, um….wh-what was it?” Gojo staggered as he had his hand over his eyes as if he would just pluck out the answer from the back of his mind in thin air.

“Um, um, um...you know, that girl who seemed nice. The one who seemed nice with the notable bangs,” Gojo described as he turned to his college for the answer. “Come on, come on, you know! That one girl!” Gojo encouraged, as he wanted to know the answer as soon as possible since it was on the tip of his tongue and the feeling of knowing and not knowing was becoming agonising.

Looking down to the floor, Utahime started to recall all the female students that were in both Tokyo and Kyoto Metropolitan Curse Technical College since she was trying to find the person that identified with the limited description that Gojo had given her.

“Nice girl, nice girl, nice girl…” Utahime repeated in a muttered tone as if that description was difficult to pinpoint to anybody that was a ‘nice girl’ - which was…

Even though Maki had slight bangs herself, there was no way she was willingly going to take a picture with Gojo. X

Her twin Mai was already out of the question. X

Kugisaki….no way…X

Nishimiya didn’t have bangs at all and already had a celebrity crush on Sebastian Stan...so she was out. X

Miwa though…O

Looking up at her annoying junior college, she had finally discovered the answer she and him were probably looking for. “Oh. Miwa?” Utahime asked, trying to confirm her suspicion leading to Gojo looking at her realisation on his face as he clearly confirmed that Miwa was the girl that took a photo with him after his sudden meeting with the Kyoto Tech’s principle: Gakuganji.

“Yeah! Her, her, her, her, her!” Gojo exclaimed as he waved his right index finger in the air to emphasise his clarification.

                                               ꕥ

“What about you Y/N? What kind of person is your type?” Miwa unexpectedly asked in a bright tone, as she turned to you, causing you to look at her with widened eyes since you were surprised at the sudden question.

Looking up in the sky, you were acting like you would just grab the air particles and your answer would appear in the palm of your hands.

 However, before you could look down and give your answer to your new-found friend from the opposition school, you suddenly heard two people start talking leading to your eyes to follow the sound to find your two classmates, Itadori Yuji and Fushiguro Megumi talking to each other.

Quickly turning back to Miwa, you slowly lifted your hand before using your index finger to point at the erratic-hair sorcerer, who was currently distracted by having a conversation with your other friend.

“He’s my type,” you casually answered, leading Miwa and the person who asked the question to turn and look at who you were pointing at to find out it was Fushiguro.

“Your taste is quite simple Y/N,” Miwa commented, as she peered at Fushiguro before turning to look at you only to find that you weren’t even looking at your crush but rather that the nature scene right in front of you with pending pale pink hues appearing on your cheeks to avoid looking at the person you had feelings for.

“What are you looking at?” Fushiguro questioned in confusion, as he turned around after feeling a few pairs of eyes looking at him while Itadori peered at you and Miwa in confusion since you were still pointing at him.

‘He doesn’t need to know yet…’

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[kiwinatorwaffles]

hi guys

now that ive been using tumblr more why dont i make a real intro?

hi im kiwi and welcome to my blog!

i also go by fels/waffles and nathan/nate, but kiwi is generally preferred unless you already know someone named kiwi and need a way to distinguish.

as you’ve probably guessed, i’m aroace!

i use both she/her and he/him pronouns, but honestly use whatever’s funniest. like call me bro if you want. my gender is The Bit. (but i only use gendered terms/honorifics)

i am a multifandom... kinda? i mean i rb stuff relating to my interests

but my main fandom for now is hermitcraft + hermit-adjacent SMPs, and on the side there’s legend of zelda, ace attorney and cookie run ovenbreak. also i never shut up about the loathing games so if youve played any of them.... put your fingers in my enclosure i wont bite i prommy

feel free to use my art for icons, banners, edits, dubs etc as long as you credit me.

i’m also a mod for @thelinkconvention (although i can’t check notifs very often) and i’m totally not a mod for @evilxdoodles but you should check it out wink wink nudge nudge

a lot of my art ideas and fics are co-written by my best friend and partner in crime @skyspersonalhell :D

i try my best to write image descriptions for my art (which i put in the alt text) but i’m not always consistent :’] i appreciate any IDs people write for me!

VDHAU masterpost for those who want it!

check out my store on etsy!

please don’t tag my work as ships if i don’t tag/specify it myself 👍 i can’t stop you but i would prefer not to have my works misinterpreted. you can check under the cut for my more detailed stance on shipping!

please do not bring discourse to my page. don’t make me tap the sign.

open up the cut for my tags, page content warnings, boundaries/full shipping stance, and other socials!

my tags!

art- #kiwi’s scribbles random thoughts- #kiwi’s calls writing & headcanons- #orchard’s library asks- #birdhouse inquiries homemade memes- #kiwi’s shitpost central oc content- #kiwi’s ocs (individual stories are tagged with the "original story: __" and "fandom ocs: __" format but you can check out my toyhouse for more actual stuff)

a masterpost of silly misc tags on my page can also be found here!

IMPORTANT NOTICES FOR MY PAGE!

i might end up drawing possible triggering content! here are some things i draw:

blood, gore, and violence

dark and heavy material

general spooky content sometimes

gay people /j /j /j /j

my page also includes lots of swearing and all caps! if you dont like that then it probably isnt the best choice to follow me.

i filter any triggers with # ___ tw and keep in mind i do also use the #cursed tag for filtering those type of posts if you know what i’m saying just a heads up

i also use #ship filter tag in case you don't want to see any ship posts/art i make!

BOUNDARIES—

here is my full stance on shipping! please read it if you are wondering about my boundaries! but the tl;dr of that post is that while i am not against shipping, please do not take it to my page if i don’t mention it myself 👍

there are certain ships i am really not comfortable with, so please don't take it personally if i block you for that reason

like i said earlier, please do not tag any of my works as a ship, unless i specify it myself! i mean you CAN i can’t stop you but i’ll probably end up blocking you for my own comfort. nothing personal

as mentioned before, do not bring discourse topics onto my page! any asks or comments about discourse will be not be dignified with a response and promptly deleted!

if the discourse pertains to something i posted, then please do inform me with a reason why i was wrong! however, if you phrase it like a callout or discourse, i will be treating it as such and deleting it!

if you want to learn more about me, here’s my carrd! it includes other socials as well as a (kind of loose) byi.

i don’t have a specific dni, but i do block people who make me uncomfortable. i also don’t interact with people if they’re weird.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE ART

i'm kind of on a hiatus on instagram but if you still want to check it out -- @ kiwinatorwaffles for my main and @ kiwisnotgay for my doodles/alt. you can check out my original characters in more depth on my toyhouse, which is also @ kiwinatorwaffles!

THANKS FOR READING! FEEL FREE TO CHAT OR SEND ME QUESTIONS!

[lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love]

The End of Something—Chapter 3

Notes: I mean no disrespect by writing or posting this, and in no way do I take the themes and topics discussed in this series lightly. So if you’re triggered by any of this, I suggest not reading it.

This is an AU of THE WALKING DEAD. So the apocalypse never happened, and everyone’s alive and well. If for any reason I’m getting characters wrong, please let me know and I’ll fix it to the best of my abilities. Also, there will be moments where I’ll come back to do some editing where it’s needed.

Message me or leave an ask if you want to be tagged!

Pairing: Rick Grimes x Reader (she/her pronouns)

Chapter Description: Time, that’s all you need to adjust to your new living situation. But at least there’s a puppy.

Warnings: Anxiety; mentions of an abusive ex/toxic relationship; infertility; spelling/grammatical errors; bad writing; whatever else I failed to mention

Additional Info: Y/N = your name | Y/N/N = your nickname | Y/L/N = your last name | Y/E/C = your eye color | Y/H/C = your hair color

Masterlist: Click Here

Previous Chapter: Click Here

Next Chapter: Click Here

(image from Pinterest)

Reader POV

After setting the table, you stood back and watched as Lottie continued cooking. She had started her music again, humming and singing along softly. You couldn’t help but smile at that. Was this normalcy? Your first taste at what your new life could be? It was too soon to tell, but watching your sister make pasta and sing to some 70’s song on her phone briefly awoke something within you.

“Something on your mind?” Lottie asked. Her voice was light, relaxed.

“Not really.” You sat down at the kitchen table, your hands clenching and unclenching as you did so. “Just watching, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine.” Lottie briefly glanced at you before focusing on the food. A long pause followed; you watched Lottie, her back to you as she cooked. She was content, comfortable. She built this home for herself and for her husband. Hell, she even built it for Moose. The cute puppy you’ve yet to meet. It made you wonder if you could do that, have a life like Lottie’s.

“I have to ask,” Lottie started, “and I hope you don’t get upset, but do you know how to cook?”

You felt the wave of emotions wash over you. Your shoulders hunched as your head lowered. It was expected of you to cook for your ex every night, and there were very specific expectations and standards you had to live up to. Needless to say, you were a shitty cook. You burnt practically everything you cooked and baked, and he was very expressive about that. Never one to back down from showing his displeasure.

“I can make cereal,” you responded, a weak attempt at a joke. You could hear how strained your voice had become, how quickly you’d receded into yourself from that one question.

Lottie looked at you for a moment before responding. “I’d be happy to teach you if you want,” she said. “I’ve got plenty of recipes, a lot of them simple. Is that something you’d be okay with?”

“Whatever you want to do.” You started fiddling with your fingers.

“But is it what you want to do?”

Is it? If Lottie taught you to cook, it would be a mini step toward independence. Right? You’d be able to cook for yourself. You wouldn’t have to rely on microwaveable dinners. It would be a good past-time, a way to keep you distracted.

“I guess,” you muttered.

“Good,” Lottie hummed. “When do you want to start?”

You shrugged. “Maybe tomorrow? If you’re not busy,” you said.

“Tomorrow’s fine. I’ve got the next couple days off work, so it works out great.”

A brief silence fell over the two sisters before you broke it. “How long have you and Max been married?” you asked.

“Six years,” Lottie responded. “We have mutual friends, and they set us up on a blind date.”

“Did you like him when you first met?”

“Sort of,” Lottie giggled. “He was cute, but I didn’t see a relationship with him. By the end of the date we agreed to be friends.” There was a reminiscent tone in her voice, and it made your heart flutter. “Our friends said we were idiots,” she laughed. “Took Max and I three years to go on another date. After that one, we agreed there was something and, yeah—married six years now.”

“And you don’t have kids?” you asked.

Lottie’s shoulders slumped as she shook her head. “We tried, but we just couldn’t get pregnant,” she said. “Went to a doctor after almost two years of trying. I’m fine, but Max… We decided that no matter what, we’d still be a family. I love kids, but I don’t think I want them as badly as I used to.”

“You would’ve been a good mother,” you said. “Just from how you’ve been with me so far.”

Lottie turned to you, misty eyed and a small smile on her face. In an instant, you were out of your seat and in her embrace. It took you by surprise, and your body’s instant reaction was to tense and freeze. But you knew this meant something to Lottie. So you let her hug you, for however long she needed it.

When your sister pulled away, she wiped her eyes and let out an almost embarrassed chuckle. “Sorry,” she said. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“Still,” she responded. She gently placed a hand on your shoulder, her smile widening just a fraction. “Thank you for that. It means the world to me.”

You nodded.

“Now,” Lottie tried for her brightest smile, “let’s get this meal over with.”

* * *

Lottie POV

It didn’t take long for Lottie to finish the meal. She took the bowls from the table and effortlessly served herself and Y/N. The two sat across from each other at the kitchen table, occasionally commenting on whatever came to mind or whatever question Y/N asked. It was relaxing, and it was obvious that Y/N was slowly starting to feel comfortable. Her guard was still up, but she didn’t seem as defensive.

“Do you have any idea where you’d like to work?” Lottie asked, swirling some noodles around her fork.

Y/N’s brows furrowed as she considered the question. “I dunno,” she said. “It’s been forever since I’ve had a job. I don’t know if I’m qualified for anything.”

“Sure you are. Do you have a copy of an old resume, maybe a cover letter?”

Y/N shook her head. “My last computer broke,” she grumbled. “Never bothered getting another one. He didn’t want me to.”

Lottie’s face hardened. “Well I’m not him,” she retorted. “And I’ll help you put together a rough draft of one, okay?”

“You don’t have to.”

“It’s no problem, really.” Lottie watched as she continued swirling the noodles, a million thoughts running through her head. It would take time to rebuild an entire resume. But Lottie’s little sister came for a new start, a chance at being independent. So starting from the bottom seemed like the best place to start.

“We’ll start on that resume this week,” Lottie said, pointing at her sister expectantly. “Then we’ll look at jobs. How does that sound?”

“Like something,” Y/N retorted.

“I can have Max help if you want. When it comes to proof-reading and all that, he’s an expert.” Lottie shook her head, a knowing smirk on her face. “I always told him he should’ve been an English teacher or something. The guy’s an expert.”

“How’d he get into…what was it, electrical something?”

“Electrical engineering,” Lottie nodded. “He’s just as good with machines as he is with English. Plus, he found the job more interesting.”

Y/N hummed.

“What did you go to school for?” Lottie asked.

“Nursing,” she replied. “Mom got me into it. I saw how much she loved helping people, so I figured: why not?” Y/N frowned. A distant look in her eyes threatening to take over. “Not sure I’d be able to do anything with it. It’s been five years. I hardly remember everything I learned back then.”

Lottie waved the comment off, trying to remain optimistic. “I’m sure it’s doable,” she commented. “All we’ve got to do is some refreshing, and see what the next steps are after that. You’ll be able to use that nursing degree in no time.”

Y/N nodded.

“Really, I’ll help you with whatever you need. First, we can work on your resume and get you looking for job. Next, we’ll work on your degree. Easy peasy.”

* * *

Reader POV

After finishing the spaghetti, you and Lottie walked around the house. Your sister gave detailed explanations on every part, describing each benefit and who preferred it the most.

Once the tour had finished, Lottie took out to the backyard. There, you’d meet your sister’s newest addition to the family; Moose. The German Shepard puppy was sleeping in the middle of the yard, tail wagging and mouth slightly open, his legs twitching as if ready to run. You had to smile at that. Oh, to have the innocence of a puppy.

Lottie let out a low whistle, causing Moose’s head to snap up. His bleary eyes were looking around until they met yours and Lottie’s. He smiled, jumping to his feet and running as fast as he could toward the two of you.

Moose went to you first, sniffing your feet and calves before he started bombarding you with licks. You giggles as you started rubbing his head. He took that as a sign to play, nipping at your fingers and giving little barks.

“I told you he’d love you,” Lottie chuckled.

“He’s such a cutie,” you gushed, rubbing his still floppy ears. “How’d you manage to get a dog like this?”

“Animal shelter,” Lottie said, rubbing her dog’s side. “Max wanted a dog. He saw one picture of Moose and it was love at first sight.”

“I can see why.” You felt your heart melt the longer you looked at the puppy, the more you rubbed his fuzzy fur. You could see the unabashed excitement and curiosity in Moose’s eyes, and it made you feel almost like a kid. Giddy and full of energy. You’ll need time to adjust to your new life, but at least Moose was here to make it better.

Permanent Tag List:

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@bl00db0n3z

[there-will-be-a-way]

About me 💖

Since this is a mental health blog, here's a bit about my situation. ☘️

After being in therapy for years, I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder and C-PTSD in early 2016. Because of personal reasons I had to terminate with my therapist in 2017. After years of searching I finally found a new therapist in 2021, but we put therapy on hold until I'm in a safe and secure environment.

Since my mental health issues are making me unfit for work and the state refuses to give me social benefits, I have no other option than to live with my parents. Soon I'll be out of here, though. 💚

Because I am very isolated in real life, I use this blog to connect with others. So if you want to be friends, feel free to chat with me. 💖 I'm awkward and disappear for a couple of weeks sometimes, but I'm friendly and non-judgmental and I can send you cute pictures of my pets. 💖

What content to expect from this blog ☘️

On this blog I focus on trauma recovery, especially recovery from abuse, although I rarely speak about it directly. I mostly reblog posts that I find comforting, encouraging or that express feelings I am unable to talk about. I try to add image descriptions to my reblogs, but sometimes images go undescribed because English isn't my first language and I don't know all the words. 😬 I also add common trigger warnings. If you need me to tag anything else, please let me know and I'll do my best!

My personal posts are about all sort of mental health and personal growth related topics. Since I have DID, you might see some of my parts around. Some of them tag their names, others don't. If you don't know who of us you're talking to, you can call us Linn which is our collective nickname. 😊 Please use they/them or she/her pronouns when you speak about us as a whole.

Who I am as a person ☘️

I am a 23 years old, bisexual person from Germany who has a lot of different hobbies and passions.

First of all, I am a fitness enthusiast. I love all kinds of physical activities, but my favorites are strength training, roller skating, swimming, yoga, cardio drumming, running, hiking and dancing. (But I can't dance well. 😏)

Occasionally I do art. This comes and goes in phases.

At the moment I am working on writing my third novel. Ever since I can remember, I have been a story teller. 📖 I also love to read, especially medieval fantasy.

Playing video games is another one of my hobbies. My favorite games are The Witcher, Skyrim, Minecraft, The Sims, Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing.

Fpur years ago I went vegan for the animals, the environment and my own health, but I already stopped eating meat ten years ago. 🌱 Animal rights are important to me.

So are human rights. 😊✌🏻 If you discriminate against other people for whatever reason or spread hate, we probably wouldn't get along well.

Boundaries ☘️

Just be kind and respectful. That's all.

You can always send me asks or chat with me, but I kindly ask you not to trauma dump in my inbox or expect me to diagnose you (I'm not a therapist bro). If you ask me for advice, please keep in mind that I can only speak from personal experience and take everything I say with a grain of salt - and please warn me before sharing possibly triggering content with me. ���

Unless I say so in my personal posts, I am not looking for advice from strangers. If we are friends or have been good mutuals for a while, I appreciate your input, though. 💖

To keep myself safe and stable, I have a lot of tags blocked. If we're mutuals and I go from interacting with all of your posts to being really quiet, know that this has nothing to do with you. It's just me taking care of myself.

If I unfollow or block you, know that this isn't anything personal either! 95% of the time when I unfollow or block someone, it has to do with triggers I haven't find ways to cope with yet.

That's it. If you read all of this, thank you. 😊💖 Have a wonderful day. ☀️

[thelivebookproject]

Talking Books With @beautifulpaxielreads!

[What is this and how can I participate?]

Important note: I haven’t changed or edited any of the answers. I’ve only formatted the book titles so they were clearer, but nothing else. Because I’m incapable of shutting up, my comments are between brackets and in italics, so you can distinguish them clearly.

-------------------------------------------------

[Image description: a square titled “Know the blogger”. Name & pronouns: Ellie, she/her; country: Australia; three adjectives to describe her: friendly, warm & easygoing /end]

1. What do you think about planned/compulsive readings in schools?

I think it's good in one way because it teaches kids to think critically about what they read from a young age - more important at this time than ever.

Having said though, it does depend on how compulsory reading is taught. Probably every former student could tell a story about teachers who inspired them, but they probably also have teachers who made their subject dull. Or put them off reading for life.

It also depends on the books taught. Teaching the classics are all very well and good, but they do not represent even a tiny fraction of the books that are out there. 

One thing being on social media has taught me is that it's so important for kids to see themselves in the media they consume, so they should be exposed to a wider selection of books featuring characters of different races, sexualities, faiths, disabilities etc. How many kids and teens today would see themselves reflected in books written over a hundred years ago?

I said earlier that thinking critically about what you read is good, but I do thing there is such a thing as over-analysis. Critical analysis is good, wringing every last drop of meaning out of a text is not. Yes, books should challenge us to think differently, but they should be enjoyable to read too. Reading should not be a chore.

[I couldn’t agree more with this! Nothing else to add.]

2. Last book that made you question your intelligence because "oh no, I don't think I understand anything"? 

I think it would probably be The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton.

I consider myself quite an intelligent person, but that book had me tying myself in knots trying to figure it out.

[Me too! I felt stupid trying to figure it out the whole way, haha. It really was very convoluted.]

3. Do you follow new releases or are you content with backlist books?

I follow new releases mainly if they are by authors whose work I have enjoyed in the past, or if they are the next book in a series (which I actually WANT to read, which isn't always the case). Occasionally I check out new release lists via Tumblr and GoodReads, but it's not something that I'm too invested in.

I do also try and keep up with my backlist, but the problem is I keep finding new books that interest me, which makes my TBR list longer.

[To summarize] So I guess my answer is that I do follow some new releases, but not all. And I do try to  keep up with my backlist, but I inevitably get sidetracked.

4. Are there any books you'd recommend about a topic you care about?

Like so many indigenous peoples around the world, Aboriginal Australians have suffered great injustices as a result of colonisation. The Stolen Generation, where up until about 50 years ago, mixed race Aboriginal children were taken from their lands and families to be raised as white. Massacres in the early days of colonisation. Higher than average rates of incarceration. Deaths in custody. Systematic racism in bureaucracy. They only got the vote in the late 1960s.  The list of injustices goes on. Over the years many Aboriginal people have fought for justice, for land, for recognition of their pain.

And the fight goes on, especially in the light of the Black Lives Matter movement. More and more this year I've been recognising that I need to be reading more books by Indigenous Australians and to educate myself on their struggles for justice.

I'm in the middle of reading a memoir by Australian Aboriginal actress Miranda Tapsell, entitled Top End Girl. She talks a lot about the problem of representation within the arts/entertainment industry and the racism that still goes on. How she realised early on that she needed to create opportunities for herself rather than rely on others to do it for her. She talks about writing, producing and starring in a film, a romcom called Top End Wedding to show that Indigenous Australians (and peoples of colour) deserved to have these positive, feelgood stories told too.

And to show that the book is  not all serious, she also talks about - at the same time as she was getting ready to star in her movie about a would-be bride - she also met the man who she herself would marry. Parts of this book are actually hilarious.

I'm also reading Growing Up Aboriginal in Australia a diverse collection of stories from both famous and everyday Australians about their experiences growing up as an Aboriginal person.

[Super detailed answer, thank you! I definitely need to educate myself better on the struggles of the people over the world because, though I knew of the Stolen Generation, I don't really know much about Aboriginals or other Indigenous people all over the world 😅 It’s just so difficult to keep up with everything!]

5. Favourite historical era to read about?

I'm a big historical fiction fan, so you've asked me the right question there!

I'll read books set in most historical areas if I find them interesting, but I do find myself drawn to books set in  the 19th century. I can't really explain why, maybe it's something do with the fact that this period stands on the edge of modernity, like it's almost the world we know but not quite.

Free space!

In terms of extra things I'd like to say, I'd like to once again emphasise my particular passion for promoting Australian authors, particularly of the Young Adult variety. The range and diversity of voices coming out of our country right is incredible and I would urge anyone interested in finding out more to check out @thereadingchallengechallenge 's blog - she does fantastic work in this area.

[Here is Em’s interview in case someone has yet to read it, and here is a list of new YA releases by Australian authors!]

You can follow her at @beautifulpaxielreads​ and on The StoryGraph.

-----------------------------------

Thank you, Ellie! This was really detailed and interesting.

Next interview: Wednesday, 14th of April

[onlythebrave-91]

Analysis of “champagne problems” by Taylor Swift

I love champagne problems so much and I think about the lyrics all the time so I thought I would write out my thoughts on it. 

Verse 1:

You booked the night train for a reason

So you could sit there in this hurt

Bustling crowds or silent sleepers

You're not sure which is worse

The song opens with vivid imagery of a train station. She poses a good question, when you're heartbroken, would you rather be in a crowd of people or alone with your thoughts?

Chorus: 

Because I dropped your hand while dancing

Left you out there standing

Crestfallen on the landing

Champagne problems

The chorus opens with one of Taylor’s most frequent metaphors, a comparison of love to dancing. She has used this metaphor numerous times since her first album fifteen years ago but she somehow keeps coming up with inventive ways to reimagine it. Here, she uses it to describe the moment the woman rejected the proposal. He thought she would say yes, but she rejected him, leaving him without a dance partner.

She also uses beautiful imagery to describe the proposal. Details have always been one of the greatest strengths of Taylor’s writing. The more detailed she gets, the more powerful and universally relatable her music seems to be. “Your heart was glass, I dropped it” pulls the image together perfectly and makes you feel like you're standing right there, watching his face as he realizes that he’s losing her.

Verse 2:

You told your family for a reason

You couldn't keep it in

Your sister splashed out on the bottle

Now no one's celebrating

This verse reveals how sure he was that she would say "yes". He told his friends and family and brought champagne to celebrate. It also reveals more about their relationship- how well did he really know her if he didn’t even realize how much she was struggling? Why was he so sure she would say "yes"?

Chorus 2:

Dom Pérignon, you brought it

No crowd of friends applauded

Your hometown skeptics called it

Champagne problems

You had a speech, you're speechless

Love slipped beyond your reaches

And I couldn't give a reason

Champagne problems

This song addresses the fact that we often don’t acknowledge mental illness for what it is. We like to avoid topics that make us uncomfortable so when we talk about people with mental illnesses we often use euphemisms like “crazy” or “psycho” which dehumanizes and belittles people. In this case, the people in her hometown say she has “champagne problems”.

Bridge: 

Your Midas touch on the Chevy door

November flush and your flannel cure

"This dorm was once a madhouse"

I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me"

How evergreen, our group of friends

Don't think we'll say that word again

And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls

That we once walked through

One for the money, two for the show

I never was ready, so I watch you go

Sometimes you just don't know the answer

'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

"She would've made such a lovely bride

What a shame she's stuck in her head, " they said

But you'll find the real thing instead

She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

Taylor is known for writing brilliant bridges and this is easily one of, if not the, best bridge she has ever written. The imagery, the metaphors, the alliteration, the allusions, all come together into perfect storytelling.

“Your Midas touch on the Chevy door": In Greek mythology, Midas turned everything he touched into gold. Although this made him rich, he quickly realized that turning things to gold was a lot more trouble than it was worth. In the end, he tragically turns his daughter to gold, killing her. One of Taylor’s common motifs is using the colours red, blue, and gold, to represent different types of relationships. Typically, a golden relationship is a happy one. But in this case, she is saying that their love is falsely happy. A Chevy made of gold certainly wouldn't work very well. Their love appears golden, but ultimately it doesn't function the way it should. In champagne problems, the man sees his partner as better off than she actually is. She is struggling, but he only sees the parts of her he wants to see.

"November flush and your flannel cure": This is one of my favourite lyrics of the whole song. It has attention-grabbing alliteration and vivid imagery. It’s a creative reimagining of the cliche rom-com moment where the guy gives the girl his jacket to keep her warm. It shows that their relationship wasn’t all bad. Even though she may not be emotionally in the right place to get married, she sees him as a good man who cared for her.

"This dorm was once a madhouse"/I made a joke, "Well it's made for me". We've all made a self-deprecating joke at one time or another and this conversational line makes the narrator feel more real and relatable.

"How evergreen, our group of friends/Don't think we'll say that word again": This is the first time in the song where she uses plural pronouns, “our” and “we”. She’s acknowledging that their relationship is over now and they will no longer be doing things together.

"And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls/That we once walked through": As much as this breakup is devastating to them, the world keeps turning and soon enough their friends will keep living their lives normally. Earlier in the song, she said, “Your heart was glass, I dropped it”. After something that devastating happens to a person, it's hard to believe that the world keeps going, but it does.

"One for the money, two for the show/I never was ready, so I watch you go": This line comes from a nursery rhyme. In full the rhyme is "One for the money, Two for the show; Three to make ready, And four to go."

It is traditionally used to mark the beginning of a race or game. This is a really clever way of saying that she wasn't ready to get married.

"'She would've made such a lovely bride/What a shame she's stuck in her head,' they said": This line ties back to the idea that people often use crude or dehumanizing language to refer to people with mental illness. This adds to her loneliness, she doesn't have anyone in her life who properly respects her. Their friends and "hometown skeptics" see it as her fault that their relationship ended without acknowledging that her partner didn't recognize how much she was struggling.

Chorus 3 and Outro:

And hold your hand while dancing

Never leave you standing

Crestfallen on the landing

With champagne problems

Your mom's ring in your pocket

Her picture in your wallet

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems

You won't remember all my

Champagne problems

"But you'll find the real thing instead/She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred/And hold your hand while dancing/Never leave you standing/Crestfallen on the landing/With champagne problems": As we return to the dancing metaphor, we see that she hopes her partner will find someone someday who can treat him better than she can. She repeats the same description of the proposal as before, this time with the pronouns "she" and "her" instead of "I" and "my". It also shows that the reason she rejected him may not be just because she doesn't feel ready for marriage, but also that she feels insecure. She doesn't feel like she's enough for him.

[lankira]

What it's like for me living with Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, Generalized Anxiety, and PTSD:

Note: The pronouns used in these descriptions are the pronouns I use for these parts of my brain and aren’t consciously based on any bias. 

My brain is a school bus headed to a field trip. Everything I do is a field trip to somewhere different. I need to read? We're all going to the (figurative) library! Clean the kitchen? Waste Management plant to show the class how we deal with trash! Work? To a fancy IT office for career day!

My thoughts are the students, and they've each been assigned to a chaperone. The students usually follow the lead of their chaperone. The chaperones all know how to drive the bus. There is no designated bus driver.

The teacher leading the trip is usually Logic Brain. Or, at least, he tries leading the trip. So he tries to be the one to drive the bus as often as possible. He's the one who most wants us to get where we're going.

Manic Brain is the parent who knows all the fun stops along the way. And I mean ALL of them. We'll still get where we're going. Eventually. But we might spend an hour going 90 to make up for the 45 minute pit stop at the arcade, and another half hour doing 10 over because there was that one drop-top full of cute people going a little slow that we kept pace with for miles just so we could check them out. You do not want Manic Brain in charge of the field trip.

Depression Brain is a liar who thinks the field trip is pointless and tries stopping or, in the worst case, crashing the bus as a result. You really, really do not want Depression Brain driving the bus.

ADHD Brain is everyone's favorite arts or lit teacher. It doesn't KNOW all the fun stops along the way, but it reads the signs on the side of the road and decides based on those signs where we really should be going. ADHD Brain KNOWS we're going to the library eventually, but there's an iris farm on the way and we've never been to an iris farm and wouldn't it be interesting to see what an iris farm is like? ADHD Brain shouldn't drive the bus if we can avoid it, but if Logic Brain is unavailable or ADHD Brain is convincing enough, we can (usually) handle it. Other times, ADHD Brain is content entertaining the kids with games and movies while someone else drives.

Anxiety Brain will get us where we're going, but she's going to tell us all the Worst Possible Things that'll happen where we're going the whole way there. She might make us stay on the bus a long time after we get there, too, just to tell us more of the things that might go wrong. Ideally, Anxiety Brain sleeps the whole way there. So we give her the not-non-drowsy Dramamine and hope it knocks her out.

Sometimes, Anxiety Brain's twin, called Panic Brain, takes over (especially after Depression or ADHD brain). Panic Brain screams like a banshee while calling 911 and the mechanic after Depression crashed the bus or while finding every shortcut to make up the time that ADHD wasted on the scenic route or side-trip. Panic Brain is not an ideal driver, but she has her purpose.

Sometimes Depression Brain takes over with Anxiety Brain and/or Panic Brain acting as navigator(s). This is a Super Not Ideal situation. Depression is constantly trying to stop the bus while Anxiety is barking directions at him and berating him for every missed turn. Or Panic is screaming about all the fixing she’s having to do while Depression is silently sobbing about how he just wants to go home. This is Awful and Not Recommended. 

PTSD Brain sleeps on the bus and isn't heard from throughout most of the field trip. But sometimes a topic of conversation comes up, or an image is seen, or a phrase is said, or something else happens that sends them reeling. PTSD Brain and Panic Brain are married, so when PTSD Brain takes over the trip, Panic Brain usually ends up navigating. It's not an ideal situation for anyone, but Logic Brain can usually help PTSD Brain calm down enough that they don't need to be in control anymore. Sometimes it takes a while, though.

There's one last chaperone, sitting at the back of the bus and dressed like one of the Aunts from Practical Magic, who has no students of her own. Sometimes, Logic Brain and his students call upon this chaperone to help the current driver hand things back over to Logic. Her name is Carrie (yes, after Carrie Fisher). Most of the time, she convinces the current driver to slow down or stop on the side of the road and take a break. During that break, she has Logic students set up a picnic or pull out a device to play something funny or comforting on. She makes sure Panic has taken her meds, that Depression feels heard, that Anxiety feels reassured, that PTSD knows their triggers and when taking a break is okay, that ADHD has something to do, and that Manic understands that, no, now is not the time to take 20+ kids to an arcade and a candy shop. (In reality, Carrie Fisher is the voice that reminds me to take a break, take my meds, not take things too seriously, etc.)

After all the trips are done for the day and the bus is back at school, Carrie and Logic Brain lead the chaperones somewhere to relax and do something fun. Usually it’s one of those cool barcade places so everyone has something to do.

[signofwolf]

Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas – book review

Series: Throne of Glass #7 Genre: YA, Fantasy Theme: Fae, magic users, war Warnings: mentions of torture, imprisonment Star rating: 0,5/10

Why did I pick this up?: I wanted to end this horrible series once and for all.

[Heavy spoilers ahead]

To make myself clear, before this book I quite liked this series. It wouldn’t place in my top 100 books, not even close, but it was a pleasant pageturner to listen to in audiobooks when working.

Language

Let’s start slow. I lack the words to express how much I hate the words ‘male’, ‘female’ and ‘mate’ after this series. Not even gonna try to express my trauma. But these 3 gems aside, Sarah J. Maas needs a dictionary. Or compress her work to a manageable size. Everything sang, Everyone melted, Every man roared, Every woman trembled, Everyone was unleashing themselves at least once a chapter (number of chapters: 122) ). And now I know definitely too much about Yrene’s ‘womb’. I know so much…

Dynamism

I thought that was a book about a war with heavy action content. Oh boy, I was wrong. This 984-pages monstrosity has maybe 5 pages of action. If you squint.

Every sequence, where by design action should take place was followed by one of two scripts:

Few sentences of action and then a few pages long internal monologue. Often repeated with the same character after the next few sentences of action, or with the next character and then the next (sometimes the first character made a second appearance and then everything would go all over again). And the word ‘character’ used in these sentences is not because I’m rambling. This book is written that way!

Few sentences of action and then action stops, and we are graced by a few pages long conversation. In the middle of a battle. Or spying. Or in Erawan’s chambers, when his castle is going down, and he is running up the stairs...

Time

Leaving alone the fact that apparently all series took less than a year (till this book I estimated the plot for about 3 years, Wiki told me it was 2, but Maas knows best), because that is a can of worms in itself. Time in this one? I honestly have no idea. There were many ‘few weeks of travel’ parts with two main groups of POVs. Personally my only time indicator was ‘Orynth won’t fall till Aelin gets here’. But nothing just fit. And I saw Lost Song when in the last episode we as the audience realized that our two POVs parallel storylines are in reality millennia apart. Lost Song made sense.

Emotional loading

… there wasn’t any. Really, it was like reading a milk label. Every time the scene was potentially emotionally impactful, Maas went ahead to overexplaining EVERY. GOD. DAMMED. THING. And it was abso-fucking-lutely everything. ‘Emotional dilemma? Let’s current POV explain it! 2 pages should be enough… Damn maybe it wasn’t enough. I know! I’ll switch POVs and explain it through the other character!’ <= My impression of Maas’ thought process. I’m fairly sure that the record was 7 POVs explaining the same thing in the row, but I was blacking out a little, so I cannot be sure.

And if that wasn’t enough, this book had a second way to defuse tension: random-plastic-repetitive-badly_written-smut. Really badly written and really repetitive. How could you not feel the spicy bits, when Manon (cruel, self assured 100+years old witch-queen) reacts the same in bed as Elide (20years old, virgin, ex-slave). And the rest of them were the same, there weren’t ANY distinctions.Just copy-paste.

The next point in current case: Someone died, it was impactful, I really liked the character, so I got sad. But then 2 of our characters came out of the room with a body, and after a paragraph of grieving they started making out, and then I was regaled with 2-pages-long description of melting cores. That was the place then this book stopped being badly written, and started being distasteful.

Characters

Remember when I was writing about switching POVs (which is 15(!!!) In the whole book. Oh and an omniscient narrator in places when our current POV was grieving too much to overthink something, but Maas still wanted to inform us about something)? They were all savagely murdered in the worst way: character mutilation. Somewhere between books our maybe-not-that-original but colorful and interesting characters became carbon copies of each other. I have no idea how many times I didn’t realise there was a POV switch. The only indicator was a change of pronoun, or when Maas was telling us the name of a current narrator. These were the only ways. And if you can't distinguish if you are in Dorian’s head or in Manon’s, that is the sign of a really BAD writing.

Romance

…there wasn't any. In all this book there wasn't any naturally progressing romantic scene. There were Maas’ endgame pairings which were sexing or pinning. As the author Maas loves to write about soulmates. And it’s not a bad thing itself. When I want some fluffy story I often tag ‘soulmates’ in AO3 and voila, +10 to good mood. But God above, it is not cute when every pair you write about are ‘true mates’ just BECAUSE. It is the only way Maas sees a relationship, as a fated pairing, written in the wake of the universe by the God himself. There is no choice, nor the work to put in it. They are the author's OTP and that means that they are perfect and they should have children right now. Point in case:

Guy was treating a girl like a shit on his sole, including throwing her naked out of tent, on a snow, with their friends present, all the while abusing her verbally in a worst way. But it’s okay, because when she almost died he realised his mistakes and apologised. Two scenes later, he was forgiven, because... fated mates?

The pathos

I know that many people don't like this type of scenes, but it's not my case. I’m reading by picturing images and not repeating words. I like sequences that I can imagine to be grand and glorious, even if they are a little corny. That said, the pathos scenes were the most disappointing ones for me. Maas likes to write parts that are more picturesquely exalted than logically possible [point in case: meeting of 5 armies/forces in the random patch of sand in Empire of Storms, and it being painted as ‘an Aelin’s great plan’. I laughed myself silly at that. But not taking logic and all the plot holes into consideration that was a nicely looking scene. In Kingdom of Ash that wasn’t the case. I would say that the author wanted to paint us a renaissance painting every 20 pages or so. In my opinion, every time she failed miserably. Each and every of those scenes was or to farfetched to be even remotely realistic, and evidently written only for a sake of the picture, or just plainly stupid.

Example, and it’s so priceless a scene, that I just need to share it: Battle of Orynth, 25th day or so (time in this book doesn’t exist), the 13. sacrificed themselves (like thousands before them but hush). And then, time stops: grieving Manon is going through the city, they open the gates for her (yes, the siege is still on), she goes to the place where they died, after her come out all of our main heroes, and half the city itself with ‘flowers, rocks and precious possessions’ and they lay it there in a tribute to these brave (evil till 2 months ago) witches. I honestly can’t remember when was the last time I saw such an abstract scene. It’s a material for an essay in itself. No, I could not take it seriously.

Additionally, it's hard to make an impact as every damn sentence is grand and lofty. In the end it became truly pathetic, Aelin vs Maeve was unreadable.

Character deaths:

Let's make a quick count: main characters in a series at the start of KoA: 12 secondary characters in a series at the start of KoA: 20ish minor and total background: a lot more

Death count: main: 0 secondary: 3 minor: 2 (11 if we try very hard)

Resurrections: 1 (possibly 3, but not gonna analyze it)

Did you feel emotions of this impossible war against this all-encompassing, all-powerful, invincible, immortal, cunning Evil with armies from 3 continents and 2 worlds? No? Me neither.

Oh well, but there were a lot of deaths of ordinary soldiers. I’m quite certain that all of Terrasen’s army was at least twice brought back to life for them to die in these numbers.

Logic or lack thereof

Oh, and let’s not forget about the Deus ex machina army of unbeatable, magical elves on wolves, from legends, living for the past thousands of years in the unreachable lands of the north, because they managed to run from the surprise attack 10 years earlier. Did I mention that they came from portals, which the whole book was telling us were impossible to make in this scenario? After the previous saviour army was already fighting there for a day? And that Aelin didn’t know they would come for sure (how did she contact them again?)? Even though they were waiting in the full armours for these portals? Ah, and also: that army didn’t do anything. They just came and fought for maybe 4 minutes. And there were just so many things like that!

And if we’re on the topic of armies I present you: ‘My favourite absurd-list in the series: allied armies’.

(As a comparison, in A Song of Ice and Fire by J.R.R Martin, in 7 kingdoms of Westeros, at the peak of war there were 7 forces present, but not all were even engaged in a war.)

First the ones that made sense:

Armies of Terrasen’s Lords (counted as one, not gonna nitpick)

The Khaganate army (also counted as one)

Galan Ashryver’s armada

Whitethorn fraction

Rebel Ironteeth witches

…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’?

And there were some that did not:

Ansel of Briarcliff’s army

The Silent Assassins

Mycenians

Wild Men of the Fangs

Army of magical elves on wolves

And the ‘I don’t even know’ category:

Crochan witches

Overpowering and overreaching

Section title tells it all. The stakes were too high. I was honestly waiting for Aelin to become Super Saiyan and start to throw planets at Maeve and Erawan. I won’t spoil if this happened.

In my opinion it could be a really great series, if our list of villains ended with Arobynn and King of Adarlan, and the list of Aelin titles with an assassin and a princess. We could have had two main fight plots: one emotional with Arobynn, when Aelin would have to face a damage he had done to her, and overcome it. And the second one, with freeing Terrasen from Adarlan’s rule. That’s it. There was an asshole, power hungry king, who feared magic and wanted to rule the East part of a continent. A lot of plot, but not so much that we stopped to care, or didn’t have time to cover everything. We could really get to know what Terrasen and his people were like and not JUST GET TOLD that it was ‘the greatest place in the world’ every damn 20 pages.

Plus…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’? It's a REALLY valid question.

Climaxes

IIf I have to write a list of things that disappointed me in this book, this review would be thrice its current size, but one of the worst grievances I have is the complete lack of acknowledging the plotlines that had been started. This book series has overall 4 372 pages (not counting novellas) and 12 main characters (still not gonna address this). All of them had their storylines and arcs but if they weren't tied up in the previous instalments they wouldn’t be in this one. I get it, Maeve and Erawan got beaten (in an extremely unsatisfactory way) but they were only a background in this series' plots.

Aelin Well, Aelin was one of 3 people (+2 paragraf-long insertion from Nesryn and Chaol) who got their own POV’s after the battle (second was technically Rowan, who was ‘Aelin’s POV outside of Aelin’.The third Dorian, who got almost a full two pages). And from this we got that: she got crowned, Aedion got his bond and that Maas have no idea how the city looks after weeks of siege. In her case what angered me the most was ‘Terrasen is my home’ subplot. Only in this tome we read at least 3 times that Aelin will be okay with dying, if only she gets to see Terrasen one last time, or if she get to die on Terrassen soil. But you know what? Maas forgot to write the scene where Aelin actually ‘comes in’.

Mannon Didn't get her own POV after the battle, but here’s what we’ve got: She is going to the Wastes with Croachans and Ironteeth. Whait. What? Yes, that was the ending of this 500+ years of feud. They fought together and they decided to unite their two species, completely forgetting more than half a millenia of slaughter. I can only hope that there were at least some talks behind the scenes… NO! F*** NO! This isn’t how it works!

Rowan, Dorian, Chaol, Yrene, Lysandra, Aedion, Lorcan, Elide, Nesryn, Sartaq Lived happily ever after

Secondary minor and total background characters Survived (I acknowledge that they would be ignored in most books’ epilogues, but this abomination is almost 1000 pages of nothing!!).

Good Scenes

That saying, this book actually had 4 good scenes:

Crochan witches go to war - gathering-forces-to-fight trope, which is my *love-always trope* so I’m not even sure if it was relatively good, or if I’m just a slut for this trope. It was still only a paragraph long though.

[recurring] The children’s tale Aelin repeated to herself to remember who she is.

‘Lorcan Lochan’ - the only marginally funny scene in the whole book

I actually found Darrel making Evangeline his heir charming. Even if circumstances were far-fetched at least.

But the words crime of this book? It was agonisingly, mind-numbingly boring. If the overexplaining and repetitions were to be taken out I highly doubt that there would be 300 pages left.

For these 33 hours of audiobook I suffered through I give it half a star. Because Abraxos exist.

Please see my garishly accurate cover on my instagram! You can also like it there :D

instagram | goodreads

[shy-magpie]

RQG 152

Poor Alex, there was no way to know and changing the story would be more of a breach of the implied contract than going forward. Plus side this warning implies we'll get more info on how the biology of the infection works before RSB actually explodes. To be clear I am all for warnings, I just imagine this was one heck of an awkward position for Alex & co to find themselves in. Well one would think they wanted to get through the intros as fast as physically possible! Seriously bless em for sticking with the structure instead of saying screw it and diving right in. Must be frustrating but it really helps me get in the right space to listen. Yeah it was a bit of an altruism run. That Ben physically ill at the prospect of characters talking? Yuck it up, I was specifically promised three (3) distinct topics would be addressed including both coping mechanisms and back stories. Poor Azu. If someone doesn't hold her while she has a proper cry I will be an unhappy Magpie. Are the new kids going to be invited to the conversations that are totally for sure not going to be put off for a month? Retcon: Barnes and Carter actually fought well it. I guess they were just down to the tricky ones. Theatrical much? Cel is great, have I said that enough? Well obviously not it should be declared at least hourly: "2 o' clock and Cel is great". But right after last episode instead of backing down (and IDK implying Wilde told the new kids their pronouns), Cel is immediately introducing themself with them and emphasizing their importance. Hamid right in there with the leadership, telling the duo that the party needs to go into isolation. I know having Zolf around must have took some weight off his shoulders but the man has grown since season one or even since Prague. He didn't lose that just because he cheers up when not solely responsible for leading the party. Note there is a messy negotiation with Zolf about who is in charge coming up and it is a mark of my trust in this show that I'm not dreading it. Am curious if it will be explicit enough for the white picket fence kids to pick up on, I know I have a thing about rank but some people seem to miss that aspect entirely. OK point Zolf but even with his charisma score there has to be a better way to put it than "do that and you are responsible for infecting Jasper and the village". Wow I guess that is the case isn't it. Thank you leader!Hamid coming in again. Getting Cel the kind of updates on home Hamid was denied in quarantine is fairly low risk for great gains in Cel's comfort with the whole thing. Point of clarity: as much as I hate to admit it, once the quarantine began they couldn't really keep Hamid in the loop since Ishaq was in the care of the Harlequins. Its been implied even without simply escaping an infected person could have means of communication that work in am anti magic cell. The village however is public info. Zolf, I want that again in small words! Are we talking black death or infrastructure problems? Because a few targeted infections could take out the government but not directly kill the citizens. Cel is doing the forced cheer again. What the hell have they been through that they default to words of affirmation for gory violence? Like most characters acknowledge the gore or that it was helpful, not both. Barnes is more reserved outside of the fight. Issues? Trauma? Oh Helen spelling it out, he's my type, crap. "Emotionally unavailable pirate" is a lot of people's type TBF. No wonder I made a warding gesture on hearing Zolf's description and didn't warm up till Dover. These characters wear the red flag as a cape and I'm surprised when my heart gets broken every time. Eh Zolf came back and is doing well enough, maybe Barnes will turn out to just not be chatty vs heart rending. And Hamid in there with the initiative casting Detect Magic so they don't have to face all the risks implied with not checking over the bodies. Barnes and Carter are glowing "like a fireworks factory where things have gone wrong". Only Water Breathing on the mooks. Speaking of emotionally unavailable pirates, Zolf sounds resigned as hell. I know he's working on it but the situation would depress anyone and he's been having a time of it, what with the puzzles and all. Shutting down isn't actually coping better than being shouty just more convenient. Have I already mentioned I want someone to comfort Azu on screen so she can put herself first for once? Remember how bright she shone in Cairo? If she doesn't process soon she's going to echo Zolf's arc. Carter is trying to looking at the bright side. Thank you Ben and Alex, not only a mood lightener but one that reminds us that Zolf asks direct questions now. And Zolf just moved as clearly as possible to protect Azu after Carter lashed out in response to her. I know they have a ways to get to where Grizzop & Azu were but I think they are at least proper team mates. Maybe having Zolf on this side of the bars this time will ease anything Azu is carrying from their introduction. Cel is a delight. Did they just suggest hamster balls? I love how Alex jokes about his own set design. Ah there is Ben's Minecraft joke. I think that's what you call environmental story telling. I love the mental image of them making their entrance crashing the mine cart into the ambush, like half way between a roller-coaster and sledding. Ah its been so long Zolf can't apply his memories of mining. They are officially out! Azu and Zolf are finally breathing right. Hey Zolf broke the weather machine! Cel takes a look see. Plumes of smoke from Shoin's? Wreckage from all the storms. Zolf joins Cel and USES HIS WORDS! I am so proud of him. Like not kidding learning to proactively offer praise & comfort instead of only offering concrete assistance in reaction is a huge step. Oh Cel! Getting yourself killed fighting alone would not have been better than defending your patch. And Zolf is right there, god remember Paris? Remember Prague? Now look at him. And there is the reality check. Not as jarring as it could have been. Azu is face down on the ground near Hamid! No more putting on her game face and slogging through it! Yes, process all you need darlin, no reason to rush. Hamid checks in! Azu takes his hand and explicitly talks about how scary it was when he was missing. Hamid talks about putting on a brave face for Skraak! RQG really just said "we're giving the fandom everything they want" in an episode recorded before we had a chance to ask. Azu checks in with Hamid! Oh Hamid its ok not to be ok. Oh hat Azu! Hamid call your family 18mumble is a go! Alex I will scream if he gets another delaying tactic. Cross your fingers we might get Ishaq and Saira! Azu assures him it would OK. Timing Zolf Horses! Topaz! Barnes: right Well that's a fair reaction to a celestial camel, he doesn't even know what the T stands for. Azu hugs Topaz Thank you Alex for making judgmental celestial camel canon.  How GMs don't all go insane with power from the moment it hits they can rewrite their world on a whim is beyond me. A Shetland for Hamid, a standard sounding horse for Cel, a cart horse for Azu, and another Shetland for Zolf. Carter can't get the question out before Zolf shuts him down. He is sticking to his word to Skraak, the island belongs to the Kobolds. Hamid calls en route! Bryn remembers to roll for it! Ishaq is a great kid, such a good sign he sounds like a kid too. Yes the kids are all together in the country house! Dad is at a redacted location, thank you Alex! Mom is alright! Saira is busy and the biggest problem with Ismail is that he is now taller than Ishaq! Ismail is good at magic too. Family bonding time. Einstein is working. Emeka & Veseek are helping things. Ed is with the family. Zolf is not happy about the call. Fair Zolf but none of us are regretting that call. Eh it being a one time thing is fair. Have I mentioned I like how Hamid & Zolf bicker? Its not like with Grizzop. They assume good faith and argue about the issue not score points. Part of why I shipped them in the beginning honestly: charismatic as Hamid is he probably impressioned like a duck on the first person to care more about what he was saying than how he said it. They joke about how hard nonverbal shots are in a podcast. Yes Alex we really do respect your craft. Might have been reassuring Ben. Helen is on the audience's side as always and tells him to pay up on the promised coping mechanisms talk. And Alex makes them roll a perception check. Do not talk block. Carter has been trying to eavesdrop. Azu tells him he isn't invited and Zolf tosses something at his head. Carter slinks back off. Zolf is still not good with words but he is resisting the urge to take it back. That counts damn it! Azu: your not good at talking for someone who says we need to talk. Yes Azu, and thats what makes it special. He is willing to put himself out there and do things he is bad at for the sake of the team. I like how Helen plays Azu getting over her issues with Zolf rather than just leaping to "Hamid vouched for you so we're besties". I need a clip of this, Zolf is offering to listen and be there while respecting boundaries and citing his own experience. Helen is great, Azu jumps right into the 18 months by asking about his relationship with Poseidon. Which again makes sense, as Azu is still working on "we met after you drugged, trapped, and imprisoned me". Which I get but seriously couldn't it have been in the stew or something? Drugging a woman's drink has connotations. Azu backstory(ish) oh thank Alex her cult is still doing the good work. Zolf tells Azu this, and offers her an out? Hamid & Zolf offer reassurance. Yes Hamid specifically tells her it isn't her fault. Zolf assures her that she isn't responsible for Sasha's decisions. Cel and Carter are chatting about what they've seen on the island.  Barnes tells them to keep the volume down and does Zolf's thing of bouncing something off Carter's head when he's loud again. Hamid moves to check in with Cel. Cel calls him on it.  Hamid asks what Cel plans to do after quarantine! Thank you Bryn! Cel doesn't know, ow. Cel feels obligated to be more proactive. Hamid reassures and points out that they were able to do it as a team so its not on Cel for not acting alone. Cel what is your backstory, afraid of being the monster. Thank you, I could wrap myself in this episode like a blanket. Cel how do you know that about being friends with mercs? Hamid would do it again but wants them to have a choice. Cel: When I call you little buddy I m not referring to the size of your heart. And that was veering saccharine so Ben swoops in with the Harrison Campbell joke. Do not make me get into why Hamid might be using snobbery as a cover for continuing to care more about what people might think than what he wants. Its a cheap shot for what could equally be he's that age and still has some flaws to work through. Thank you Alex for being realistic about horse pace without turning it into a word problem. Wilde! Cel points out the inn keeper could be infected, the boys explain the system of watching one another. Zolf is not letting Wilde get cute with his team again. Wilde wants them "fully supervised" in the bath. I feared that Alex, Wilde turned himself off again. Zolf calls him on it, kinda. They skim past the bath, thank you that could have been problematic. Thank goodness they are leaving the cell door open but locking the trap door. The new kids are in quarantine with them. Fair, going to be fun, but fair.  

[famous-aces]

Frédéric Chopin

Who: Frédéric François Chopin (born Fryderyk Franciszek Chopin)

What: Composer

Where: Polish, active in France and the UK

When: March 1, 1810 - October 17, 1849

Chopin is one of the most famous names in music to the point that an incredibly unmusical cretin like me is well aware of him. He is one of the quintessential musicians of the Romantic era and was piano virtuoso.  Over 230 compositions of his survive to this day, many of them recognizable to an international audience and acclaim. At the very least, if you are in the Western world (or at least if you have watched something produced in the West that contains a death in it), you know one of his pieces: "Piano Sonata No. 2", better known as the "Funeral March".

Some other 19th century hits include: "Étude Op. 10, No. 12 in C minor 'Revolutionary'", "Waltz in D-flat major, Op. 64, No. 1, 'the Minute Waltz'", "Życzenie (A Young Girl's Wish), Op. 74, No. 1", and literally over 200 others, many recognizable to the modern lay listener.

Probable Orientation: Aroace or (arguably) had romantic feelings for George Sand

While I had a hard time pinning down his romantic orientation Chopin's sexual orientation was pretty easy. He is another famous virgin (if you will forgive the term) and baffled friends and fans alike in his chastity. He was, with the exception of maybe Queen Elizabeth I the easiest historical figure on the list.  Not only were his sexual exploits (i.e. lack thereof) a popular topic of speculation he did have a few things to say about it. He refused sexual advances from all angles, much to the confusion of the people he spurned.  Often the questions of Franz Liszt and George Sand are raised, there is no evidence he had any romantic or sexual contact with Liszt, maybe a crush or squish at most.

Sand is a more complicated issue.  George Sand was a French author and in her day more famous and well loved than Victor Hugo or Honore de Balzac.  But just pegging down Sand's gender is tricky in a modern context.*  While she is referred to as a woman her contemporary, Victor Hugo, argued Sand "cannot determine whether she is male or female. I entertain a high regard for all my colleagues, but it is not my place to decide whether she is my sister or my brother.”. So if Chopin was romantically entangled with Sand it is impossible to say whether that would make him gay or straight or if gender even factored into his interest.

And it is difficult to say if Sand and Chopin were romantically involved or if that was read into their relationship. Chopin seemed to say they were not.

Sand herself was probably bisexual and had many lovers over her life. Chopin is listed as one of them, but Sand noted that it was not typical and certainly not physical. It's not even clear if Chopin's feelings were anything more than platonic.

While his romantic orientation might be unclear his sexual orientation is not. Quotes straight from Chopin himself close the issue of his sexual orientation pretty firmly, however:

"My[,] Scotswomen are kind...They are kind, but so boring that the Lord preserve them! - Every day I get letters, and answer none of them; and wherever I go, they come after me if they can. Perhaps that has given someone the notion that I am getting married; but there really has to be some kind of physical attrait [attraction], and the unmarried one is too much like me...Friendship is all very well, but gives no right to anything further. I have made that clear.

"Even if I could fall in love with someone, as I should be glad to do, still I would not marry…

"Anyhow, I don't need to write you all this, for you know how I think - [crossed out]. So I don't think at all of a wife, but of home, of my Mother, my Sisters. May God keep them in His good thoughts. Meanwhile, what has become of my art?...

"I am not complaining to you, but since you have asked, I explain to you that I am nearer to a coffin than to a marriage bed…"

-Chopin letter to Wojciech Grzymala, October 1848

"...Mrs. Lyschinska says that Chopin was gallant to all ladies alike, but thinks that he has no heart. She used to tease him about women, saying, for instance, that Miss [Jane] Sterling was a particular friend of his. He replied that he had no particular friends among the ladies, that he gave to all an equal share of his attention…

"'Not even George Sand then,' she asked 'is a particular friend?'

"'Not even George Sand,' was the reply."

-Frederick Niecks, Chopin (1888) quoting a friend of Chopin

*Sand was AFAB in an era before transgender people were recognized. She went by female pronouns and as far as I can tell referred to herself as a woman, but who can say what she would do today. She acted out male gender roles, and often wore "male" clothing, although Sand argued this was because the clothing was sturdier and cheaper than what a noblewoman were supposed to wear at the time (certainly true).  She went into male spaces and carried out male roles. She went by George Sand (her male pen name) rather than her birth name even off the page.

[image description: Image 1: a photo of Chopin by Louis-Auguste Bisson in 1849. In is a faded black and white photo showing a white man with a pained expression on his face. He has a high forehead, a largish nose, and a round chin. He has dark hair parted to the side that falls around his ears.  He is wearing a suit and has his hands on his lap.

Image 2: Chopin Playing The Piano In Prince Radziwill's Salon by Hendrik Siemiradzki (1887). It shows a crowded room filled with well dressed men and women gathered around Chopin seated and playing the piano.

End ID]

[nanigma]

Leon Fanbook Translation: Profile

Link to the Takumi Fanbook

Introduction

Look who actually kept her promise! This still took me forever and a half, but I am very happy I got it pushed out within the time frame I imagined. Things are off to a good start, I think.

Before we continue, here is the same note as before: As I am currently without a real income, I would very much appreciate it if you could throw me a couple bucks via my ko-fi account. It doesn’t have to be a lot, just what you think my translations are worth really.

My comments in italics

I will be using the Japanese names

My comments in italics

I will be using the Japanese names

Page 8-9

Profile

Prince Leon's Profile

His personal data, history, as well as dialogue and all sorts of information will be shown here. Before we can really know, and therefore talk about the younger Nohrian Prince Leon, we need to some basic information on him.

Just what kind of person is Leon, the younger Prince of Nohr? If we start with data such as age, height and weight of the person in question and analyse everything until we arrive at topics such as his mother and his family, the information we can gain on him is not inconsiderable. Trying to pinpoint more through his in-game profile description “likes tomatoes the most out of everyone in the army”, one can glean his favourite food. Once he gets started, the praise he heaps upon tomatoes can become quite disconcerting. It seems that even with the 40 to 47 pages of published material, questionnaire results and submitted art,

Leon’s image is forever associated with tomatoes. But, that’s not all. To be worthy of being called a Leon fan, it is necessary to know and understand him by collecting all the surrounding information on him, and thereby truly ascertain his character. Definitely things like him pretending to be cold in order to push others away, or how much he prides himself in being a strategist. Perhaps he also uses the strong impression left by something like his obsession with tomatoes to conceal the things about his character that he doesn’t want others to know.

Personal Data

Prince Leon's personal data

Name: Leon [Leo] Gender: Male

Class: Dark Knight Weapon: The Sacred Treasure “Brunhilde”

Physique: tall and slender, with no excess fat attached Birthday: June 30th Country of Origin: Nohr Residence: Royal Castle of Darkness

Hair Colour: Gold-shaded flax colour Eye Colour:  A blood-like shade of crimson Skin Colour: A little sickly seeming First Person Pronoun: Boku* Second Person Pronouns: Kisama, Anata, Omae* Likes: Reading, Tomatoes

Family: King Garon (Father), One of Garon's Concubines (Mother)

            Marx (Older Brother), Camilla (Older Sister), Elise (Younger Sister)             As well as a large number of other siblings             Aqua, Kamui             Foleo (Future Son) Retainers: Zero, Odin

Voice Actor: Mamoru Miyano

Page 9

History Data

Early Years

He was born as the child of King Garon of Nohr. In those days, Garon would keep a number of concubines, from whom he also received a lot of children, beside his legal wife Ekaterina. The woman who became Leon's mother was one of them. Their royal children's claim to the throne, as well as their constant aim to become worthy in the eyes of their “spouse”*, meant that the rivalry between the concubines grew ever more tense, and they soon became wrapped up in intrigues that were literally dripping with blood. Because of Leon's mother, who stood in opposition to the main faction belonging to Ekaterina, he did not have any contact with his older siblings, Marx and Camilla, during his early years.

Childhood Years

His handsome features inherited from his mother, and moreover his possessing an overwhelming number of outstanding qualities, made Garon take notice of Leon even among his many siblings. Leon's mother would use this fact as a trump card against Ekaterina's faction, as well as the mothers of the other children, in order to assert her own superiority. Compared to her stated motive of looking out for her son's interests, her desire to turn the King's love and attention towards her was clearly more important. According to Leon's own recollections, she never displayed much of what could be called „a mother's love“ towards her son. When Leon seemed to turn his talents towards the magic arts, his exceptional qualities became yet more polished as they bloomed. Once he reached the position of one of the most preeminent magic users in the kingdom, Leon was given a place at Garon's side next to Marx and Camilla. At the same time, Garon's many illegitimate children, as things were progressing towards the conclusion of their violent struggle over the selection process, finally acknowledged each other's existence.

As for Leon, together with his older siblings, Marx, Camilla, Kamui, as well as his younger sister, Elise, he formed a unit that would later come to be referred to as the „The Nohrian siblings“. For someone like him, who grew up without receiving any parental love, there can be no doubt that the warmth reflected in the eyes of his siblings was a great source of happiness for him.

Once the war breaks out

And so, Leon, who had attained an untouchable position among the Nohrian royalty, continued expanding his magical abilities to become a Dark Knight of the highest order within the army. When he entered, it was with the Divine Weapon Brunhilde in his hands. Thanks to his tremendous powers, he was granted the title of „Gravity Master“. Due to not having had many allies because of the circumstances of his birth, he has a hard time trusting others, as well as a deep hatred for cowardly deeds and acts of betrayal. To tell the truth, his Nohrian brethren have in the past been on the receiving end of Leon's mercilessly executed punishments. This is why he is called cold-blooded, but instead it would be more apt to say that he is shaking with anger and unease on the inside. On the surface he appears to have a cool-head, and because of that seeing his true self sometimes shine through the cracks of the mask is all the more meaningful – For those who are familiar enough with him, this too is just another big part of „Prince Leon's“ appeal.    

Resolution, as well as the future

As these events become history, it says that as the Nohrian and Hoshidan royalty joined hands and fought their mutual enemy together, the two younger princes, who grew up in similar circumstaces, seemingly displayed a mutual affinity for each other. It is further says that during battle Leon would rely on only his older brother, Marx, as well as his retainers, Odin and Zero, but after these events it would seem there is documented proof that the name of the younger Hoshidan Prince, Takumi, was added to the list as well. Leon's signature divine weapon „Brunhilde“ would later be inherited by his son, Foleo.  

Performance Data

Just his starting stats and skills. You can also find them on the wiki

Monologue

Prince Leon's monologue

Level Up (Worst): Maybe my bearing wasn't befitting of royalty... Level Up (Low): Well, as expected. Level Up (Good): I'm glad this didn't end in embarrassment. Level Up (Best): It scares even me to see how strong I've become. Level Up (Max): I am already strong, so don't you think this is enough? Class Change: Hm, I trust that my clothes didn't turn inside out?

Buying: Be sure to pick something out that looks good on me, alright? Buying (salesperson): Only you would ever buy things for the person running the store. Selling: I would prefer if you didn't just go around selling my belongings... Selling (salesperson): Having my own belongings sold to me... it's painful. Forging: I'll show you I can handle any kind of weapon. Forging (salesperson): I dislike physical labour... I wonder if I can't just use magic?

Defeat (Classic Mode): No way... To think someone like me could be defeated... Although, I should accept death with dignity, I simply can't do that to my siblings... Allow me to retreat here... Defeat (Casual Mode): How dare you... To think of all people, I'd be forced to retreat... This is humiliating...  

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1. Boku: The more non-threatening yet still distinctly male form of I. 2. Kisama: Used to be formal, but is now an incredibly rude way to say you (though also a bit antiquated). I think Leon mostly uses this with Ganz, Zola and Macbeth, as well as Corrin for part of Birthright. 3. Anata: Standard, “polite” way to say you.(although it has to be said that in common Japanese pronouns are not often used, and even anata can seem rude or weird when used in excess) 4. Omae: Literally “you in front of me”. Not the most polite, but can be used in casual situations. I think Leon mostly uses it with Elise. 5. The kanji used here was  夫 or literally husband. The concubines apparently considered Garon this, even if they weren’t on Ekaterina’s level, but I thought this would sound confusing, so I am clearing it up here.　

Overally, I am enjoying the Leon book so far, although I would have liked if they had included more info about the conclusion of the concubine war and what exactly happened to Leon’s mom (or at least give her name!!).