#on the one hand i want to get the podcast done as soon as possible

[oh-jail-for-mother]

mabel episode 30 slapped so fucking hard for this

[aniesvision]

dating? (matt sturniolo x f! reader)

warnings: lying, anxiety, panicking (nothing too bad), mostly just fluff

a/n: hi!! this one is just a cute little short fluff, it's translated from my wattpad account. friendly reminder: english is not my first language, i'm sorry if there's any mistakes ✨

synopsis: your friends were going to have Madison Beer as their next guest on their podcast and you were excited to meet her. Things take a different turn when, finally talking to her, you realize one of your friends lied to her.

colors: matt you nick chris madison ✨

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

Just over two hours after entering the podcast studio, the three boys and the day's special guest, Madison Beer, appeared in the living room.

I had only arrived a few minutes ago and let myself in with the extra key that Nick had given to me once, considering how many times we went to each other's houses (he also have a key to my apartment).

I was practically family now. And, for that very reason, they accepted me only coming here today with the interest of getting to know Madison.

-Hi! It's so nice to finally meet you. -I smile excitedly as soon as I see the girl.

I was a big fan of her work, not the kind who followed every detail of her life or waited anxiously for news stories to find out when the new album was coming out, but the kind who listened to her songs from time to time and liked them. And also related with the lyrics.

Madison gives me a genuine smile, not waiting a second before pulling me into a hug, kindly greeting me and walking with me to the kitchen.

I showed her where the glasses and water were while the boys threw themselves down on the couch I was on earlier.

-The boys have told me a lot about you, especially Matt, you guys make such a cute couple. -She says with a big genuine smile, setting her empty glass on the counter.

-Huh? -I ask, confused. -What do you mean "couple"?

Madison spent her whole day with the guys. They decided to hang out before filming so it'd feel more natural. I haven't been able to talk to any of them yet, considering they were filming and I immediately went to talk to Madison when they were done.

I glance in the direction of the couch, seeing that Matt is looking at us suspiciously. Maybe he said we were dating for a reason, and I'll find out later, but for now I'm going to be the good friend who lies to get in on the act and help him out.

-Matt told me you guys are dating. And I'm sorry, I didn't know you had something, I have a friend who has a certain interest in him and I tried to help her, but neither of us are the type to destroy happy couples, so don't worry, it won't happen again.

Madison explains, making some gestures with her hands and I smile, trying to dispel the feeling of guilt that exuded from her face.

-Oh, it's okay, it's a recent thing, we haven't really announced it yet. -I answer, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. It's so hard to lie, specially about something like this and specially to THE Madison Beer.

-I understand, but now I know, and she knows, and I'm sorry again. -Madison says, but I can't answer as Matthew appears in the kitchen.

-Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? -The boy looks at me with a fake smile and pulls me by the wrist to his room, locking the door as soon as we enter.

He didn't even give me a chance to excuse myself, he just dragged me away from Madison.

-Matt, what the fuck was that? -I ask, disbelieving that I've been taken out of the conversation so abruptly.

I crossed my arms and looked at him in confusion, trying to understand his reaction. He seemed nervous and kept looking down, running his hand through his hair repeatedly.

-I don't know. -He replies, his voice low.

-Why did you tell her we're dating?

I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible, to show him that I wasn't angry, just confused. Annoyed, for sure, but mostly confused. I didn't want to make him feel bad in any way.

-Madison tried to give me her friend's number, and I don't know, I guess I panicked. -Matt rubs his eyes a little.

-If you didn't want to, you could've just said 'no' or 'I'm not interested'. -I uncross my arms, but continue to stare at him in confusion.

-I panicked. -He repeats, starting to play with the rings on his fingers.

I take a few steps forward and take a deep breath. I put my hand on his, squeezing it lightly and making him look at me.

-It's okay. -I smiled, trying to calm him down.

-Are you mad at me? -He asks, squeezing my hand tighter.

-Of course not. I was just confused, I still am, but I think the biggest problem isn't that you said it, it's that Madison is no longer the only one who knows about our "relationship" and maybe we need to talk about what to do now.

I keep making eye contact and standing close to him, not stepping back so he wouldn't think I was somehow mad at him. Matt and I have been friends for a long time, and we both show affection through touch, so hugs, holding hands, sleeping in the same bed and things like that, are normal. But it's always just friendly.

What's not so normal is hearing that he invented a relationship between the two of us so that he wouldn't have to dump a girl and for some reason during his moment of panic I was the person he thought of to say he was dating.

Although we have a very strong friendship, not just me and him, but me and his brothers, I understand that maybe I was a kind of easy answer because I was always there.

Part of me believes this theory, that it was just a mistake out of anxiety, nothing major. Part of me wants to believe that he feels something more.

It's not like I like him, or have a crush on him or anything. I don't feel anything other than friendship for him, I can't feel it.

He's my friend and he should probably just stay my friend.

He really is an amazing person, he's attractive, I can't deny that, he's funny, we have a lot in common, we get along well, I enjoy being with him and he would certainly make a great boyfriend.

But not for me, he doesn't see me that way.

He could've gotten someone's number, he could've gotten along with a nice person, and yet he preferred to lie and say he was dating me.

He preferred a fake relationship to the chance of something real.

He panicked, but why did he panic? It's not as if anyone would think it was that bad to be dumped, it's not. It happens all the time.

I don't know how I'd feel if he told me that he'd got the number of a new girl. That he's going out with her, that he likes her. I don't know how I'd feel if he had someone else in his life. Someone that's not going to be just a friend.

I should be happy, but I probably wouldn't.

It's Matt, after all. He's my best friend, he's the one who's with me in every situation, he's the person I want to be with in my days and rely on for every moment. That's Matt. And I love him with all my heart.

I don't want to distance myself if I know he has someone else with whom he's going to do all the things we do. And even more things we've never done, but in any case, the attention would be hers, it would all be for her.

And as selfish as it is, maybe I don't want that person to exist for him. I want to remain the focus of his attention.

-I don't know what to do. -He says, getting more anxious and pulling me out of my own thoughts, back to facing the situation.

-Matt, it's okay. -I put my hands on his face, forcing him to look at me as I spoke. -It's just a fake dating thing. It's not the worst thing in the world and we'll work it out together, okay?

Matt puts his hands on my hips, pulling me closer.

-I don't know if I want to lie anymore. I can't. I need to tell the truth. -He whispers, shaking his head repeatedly.

I put my arms around him, hugging him and feeling his rapid heartbeat as he tried to take a deep breath.

-Breathe, Matt, I'm here, and it's okay, it's going to be okay.

I keep squeezing his body and he squeezes mine back, only pulling slightly away to look me in the eye.

-I lied to Madison and I couldn't say "no" because I'd feel guilty accepting another girl's number knowing that there's only one girl in this world that I want. -His voice is just above a whisper, a little shaky but firm enough to show how serious he was about his words.

He placed his hand on my cheek, caressing it gently.

-Matt... -I try to say something, but I was so stunned with the confession that I couldn't.

-I lied because I'm in love with you and I do want to date you for real, I'm sorry, I should have just confessed all this before and avoided this situation, I'm really sorry, I'm an idiot.

I giggle at the way he said it. Matt has just confessed his feelings for me and he's so anxious that he looks like he's going to die at any second and I can only laugh. It's so silly. So stupidly silly, the way I've been shoving my feelings down the ground and he was out there lying that he was dating me because he feels the same. And neither of us though of talking about it before acting stupid.

-Then we don't have to do anything, silly. There's no fake relationship to unmask if it's real. -I smile, slipping my arms around his shoulders and getting even closer to him.

-Wait. Does that mean you feel the same? -He asks, his eyes widening in a mix of confusion and surprise.

Without thinking too much, I close the distance between us, bringing our lips together in a long affectionate kiss. We pull apart from lack of air and I smile with our faces still close.

-Do you want to be my girlfriend? Like, for real this time? -Matt asked, with our lips ghosting.

He had a smile on his face that immediately made me realize how much I am and always have been in love with him, I just never wanted to accept it.

-Of course I do. -I accept, with a smile.

He joins our lips in a kiss once more and leaves several kisses on my face, then on my neck and finally back on my lips.

-Matt, everyone's in the living room, we need to go back. -I giggle, with my eyes closed, still feeling kisses on my face with a smile.

-Yeah, you need to talk to Madison more, I forgot you came just to see her today. -He lets go of me, chuckling and taking my hand.

-It's not my fault she's perfect. -I laugh too, interlacing our fingers with a shrug and pulling us towards the bedroom door.

-You're the only one who's perfect for me. -Matt whispers in my ear before opening the door and pulling me into the hallway, his face completely red with a silly grin.

We sat down together on the couch next to Madison and I got back into talking to her again, about the podcast, her music, her day, what she liked to do and things like that. She's such a sweetheart and I was so happy to meet her that my heart was racing. Obviously not just because of that, but honestly this day is just full of surprises.

At some point, Nick and Chris got closer and joined in the conversation too and it was amazing to see how everyone was so comfortable talking to each other.

Madison seemed to be a great friend and I intended to keep her in my life.

While Nick asked about what we wanted to eat and they discussed seating options, Matt wrapped his arm around my shoulders and sank his head into my neck, leaving little kisses all around.

-You guys are so cute. -Madison draws the attention of the whole group to the two of us, making me feel a little embarrassed, but happy.

-It's normal, they're clingy, it's disgusting. -Nick comments, still not connecting the dots.

-Don't say this, Nick, every couple is clingy at first. I think it's cute. -Madison looks at me with a smile.

-COUPLE? -Nick and Chris yell together, confused, looking between everyone in the room.

I hear Matt's giggle, his face still nestled in the crook of my neck. He must have been as embarrassed as I was, but it was still funny.

-Yes, a couple, people who are dating and all that. I think we forgot to tell them. -I say, sarcastically, trying to stay serious and not burst into laughter as I nudge Matt.

-Dating? You two are dating? -Nick asks again, confused. He took turns looking between me and Matt, arching an eyebrow.

Chris was looking at us laughing and Madison was a little confused, but finding the whole thing just as funny. Then Matt lifts his face, showing his big smile and red face, pulls me closer, making me lay my head on his chest this time, and starts messing with strands of my hair before looking at his brothers.

-Yes, Nick, we're dating.

With that, he lifts my face by the chin and leaves a quick kiss on my lips. I could feel my heart beating faster, but Nick and Chris's reactions were so good that I couldn't pay attention to my nervousness.

-AND YOU TOLD MADISON FIRST?! -Nick looks at us indignantly.

-I didn't mean to, but yeah, I guess. -Matt comments, shrugging and running his free hand over the back of his neck.

-Since when? -Chris asks, pointing at the two of us.

Matt looks at me in slight despair. We needed to be cautious not to seem like he lied to Madison too.

-It's recent, we'll tell you the details later, where are we going to eat now? I'm hungry. -I say, trying to change the subject.

And it worked, everyone went back to discussing where to go out to eat and forgot the information about our recent relationship, which was more recent than they could ever know.

-Thank you. -Matt whispers in my ear and I smile in response, snuggling closer to him and enjoying the moment.

I certainly could never have imagined Matthew with anyone else, and I'm glad I realized it in time. It'd be painful to see him with another girl.

tags 💕

@riowritesitall

[thebroccolination]

CHARACTER ARCS IN THAI BL (featuring examples from SOTUS, Be My Favorite, and The Ex-Morning)

So, Krist's done two BL series so far with another one on the horizon, and it looks like The Ex-Morning is going to have the same thing that made SOTUS and Be My Favorite so strong: The Character Arc.

One of my biggest complaints about Thai QL series is that most of their protagonists don't want anything. They just kind of walk on camera, act cute, and fall in love. Some sad stuff happens to them, and then the good stuff happens to them again, and then the story ends.

We all know these series are made as a vehicle for the actors. They include just enough fluff or spice (or spicy fluff) to trend, then companies lean on the ensuing hype to sell sponsored products, concert tickets, merch, ten-minute fan calls, fan signings, fan meetings, and top-spender events.

But most series lose me when their protagonists don't even want something that drives the story. And then there's no obstacle to that want.

Want: Arthit wants to hide behind a persona. Obstacle: Kongphob wants Arthit to allow him behind the persona.

I think SOTUS is such a successful slow-burn because it's a well-crafted story of push and pull between two well-developed characters in direct conflict with each other (in personality, philosophy, life experience, class, etc.).

And that conflict builds with each of the three installments:

The conclusion in SOTUS happens once Arthit is fully himself around Kongphob: shyly smiling and laughing while he does a dramatic reading of Kongphob's written account of his hazing experience.

The conclusion in SOTUS S happens once Arthit allows himself to be seen as Kongphob's boyfriend by the outside world (represented by his coworkers).

And the conclusion in their Our Skyy episode—as well as their story overall—happens when Arthit allows the world to see him as Kongphob's fiancé (represented by a ton of passersby in an airport).

By contrast, a lot of other series feel to me as if they haven't been edited or explored beyond a first or maybe second draft. It's difficult for me to get emotionally invested in a story when the characters are just pretty people who say things to each other. And I mean, in all fairness, considering the breakneck speed these are made and released at, writers probably don't have enough time to make anything more profound than that.

That's why I admire Be My Favorite director Waasuthep for requesting more time to work on his script. He was so passionate about that project, and he says to this day that it's his favorite of his works. He basically took apart the original novella's plot, carved it down to a handful of elements, and built it anew from scratch. Last year, he said on a podcast that fans were complaining because they wanted to see the series as soon as possible, but when presented with the choice of "make a worse series faster to appease fans" or "take as much time as possible to craft the story as it deserves to be told," he bravely, boldly, and correctly chose the latter.

As a result, Kawi has arguably the most dramatic and well-executed character arc of all the Thai series I've seen. In episode one, he's self-isolated, timid, avoidant, and selfish. In the last episode, he's a confident, openly queer, and affectionate member of a found family he built alongside the person he loves.

And even better than just having a want, Kawi has a conflicting need.

He wants to be with someone (Pear, then Pisaeng). But what he needs is to be vulnerable enough to let other people love him. Pisaeng tells Kawi in episode two that he's being bigoted against other people for assuming they won't like him and automatically shutting them all out. Then Pisaeng reinforces that point later by telling Kawi that people would like him…if he actually showed them who he is.

And since Kawi's want is at odds with his need (he wants to skip the vulnerability part, which leads to his ruinous potential future with Pear), he's not just externally challenged by his father's illness, his lack of social skills, Not's general unpleasantness, and the inherent dangers associated with changing time, he's also challenged by himself every step of the way.

Seeing Kawi go from self-isolation, in which he assumes the worst of everyone he meets, to warmly hosting a cheerful Christmas party with the beloved people he chose is immensely satisfying as a viewer.

And now in the upcoming Ex-Morning we have an entire series seemingly focused on Pathapi's character arc of challenging the person he's become in order to rekindle his broken relationship with Tamtawan. I've been craving a good exes-to-lovers plot, and I love that it's KristSingto who'll deliver that to me.

Ultimately, it delights me that in all three of Krist's BL series so far, his anxious, reactive characters are forced to self-examine and become calmer, gentler, and happier. SOTUS and Be My Favorite are just as much about self-love as romantic love: Arthit is happiest when he's self-confident, Kawi is happiest when he's vulnerable, and we'll see what Pathapi's whole deal is soon.

Ex-Morning director Lit (who also directed the first SOTUS installment) said in a recent podcast that in the early days, Thai BL directors used to only compete with each other, but they're well aware that their work is on a global stage now. Considering the amount of work that's gone into the script for The Ex-Morning, I'm tremendously excited for the story he helps to create. \:D/

Strong, nuanced characters are what I need from a series, and for them to be at their strongest and most nuanced, they really need that character arc to land.

[copperbadge]

[ID: Three images; top left, the entryway to my kitchen, with half-scraped tape on the floor, a paint scraper nearby, and lots of dirt. Polk supervised me but I didn't get to take a picture of her doing it, so top right is an old picture of her in her Supervising Spot, next to her favorite sign that reads CHICKEN WAFFLES. Bottom, the kitchen welcome mat, an orange and black patterned mat, is back in place where the half-scraped tape was previously.]

Today is a good object lesson in why NaClYoHo uses media as timer!

I made a list of things I wanted to do this morning; I save big/gross jobs for the weekend, so today's list was to clean under the kitchen "welcome mat", scrub the kitchen floor, go through the house spackling small holes (picture hanging mistakes, etc), and dust the various blinds in anticipation of (possibly) pulling them up and hanging curtains in their place at a later date.

What I got done: cleaning under the welcome mat.

When I installed my rugs I put down double-sided tape, which proved to be a mistake; it's super difficult to get the tape up once it's down. But once you've pulled a rug off it, it becomes an immediate filth trap, so I had to do it. I sprayed with dilute vinegar, then goo gone, then an initial scrape before pulling the goo gone up with Grease Lightning, then repeat...

The real problem was that it's uncomfortable to kneel on the floor even with a pad, but if I crouch or bend, when I straighten I get a head rush so bad I almost pass out (thanks Adderall). I legit stood up twice and then immediately sat down in case I lost consciousness. So it took me an hour and a half to scrape and clean an area roughly a meter square. I got through an entire hour-long episode of The Worst Idea Of All Time and almost all 24 minutes of The Allusionist episode on Complex PTSD.

Now, if I had spent this whole time going "Oh shit, I've got so much else on the list to do today!" I would have freaked out at both how long it was taking and how much effort it was. But I knew that once I crossed that "the podcast has ended" line, that was all the work I had to do today. The rest of it can be moved to another day. So I did an hour and a half of fairly intensive physical cleaning, and now I'm done until tomorrow. (Even if I did also steam-mop the kitchen, since I had the steamer out anyway, and then took out the kitty litter trash on my way out the door.)

Anyway, the area under the mat is now clean, free of any possible weevils, and lightly sprayed with Super 77 art adhesive to keep the rug in place, and hopefully that will at least be less of an issue to pull up in the future. We'll probably find out when I, like a fool returning to his folly, attempt this again next year.

Disposable nitrile gloves used total: brought it up to four today! (I used three -- one on each hand, and tore the one on my right hand so had to replace it.)

Trips to the hardware store: Holding steady at 2. I will need to make my first run to the Container Store soon however, I think.

[greenofrain]

Only Murders In The Building Murder Board

I watched episode 1 last night and I can't wait for next week, so I just wanted to compile a list of people I think could have done it. I'll probably come back and reblog this when new episodes and new clues come out.

1. Bev Melon

It must be terrible to be named after a fruit.

Bev, the producer of the film, is passive aggressive to our crew and aggressive about filmmaking. Would she go so far as murder to close a film deal? My best theory is that she tried to non-lethally shoot Charles in order to convince him that New York was unsafe to get him to come to LA for the meeting. Once she found out that she actually shot Sazz, she took her to the incinerator so that nobody would know. Of all the film crew, I think she's the most likely. The brothers sisters are oddballs, but a misdirect, and the screenwriter and VPs don't strike me as suspects... Yet.

2. Howard Morris

I'll admit, I didn't really buy into the "Howard is the Mastermind" theory until this episode. But there are too many weird coincidences to ignore. How did he let himself in to Charles' apartment? Why does he text Mabel as soon as they've broken into Sazz's apartment? Why does he need a cadaver dog in the first place? Much to think about. Maybe he tried to kill Charles to usurp his place on the podcast? With all that said, I don't think it's Howard for 2 reasons. Firstly, if he's the mastermind and we know the show has five planned seasons, why reveal it in season 4? Second, he was way too helpful with Gravey to find a body that he killed. But then again, who knows? This murderer is much more aggressive and confident than the others, anything is possible.

3. Emma (Lucy's Mom) OR Lucy's New Stepdad

It's the return of a recurring character from a few seasons ago! I think that maybe in the year between seasons 2 and 3, Emma got a new boyfriend who tried to be a father to Lucy, but she liked Charles more than him. After Ben Glenroy's death, they forbid her from seeing him again because "he's too dangerous," and she protests like teenagers do or runs away, so they take matters into their own hands. This is a long shot, but it could be possible. We know the next episode is about two figures from Charles' past returning, and this is about the only thread from Charles' past that we haven't touched on in some capacity, so we might see Lucy return or Emma make an onscreen debut.

4. Eugene Levy, Zach Galifianakis, and/or Eva Longoria

Hear me out.

One or all of them wants to take over for their respective podcaster. Eugene Levy has the clearest motive, wanting to become Charles in real life after playing Brazzos in Quebec and now Charles in the movie. Zach Galifianakis is clearly the most hostile to Oliver, and that may transfer over to Charles as well. Eva Longoria described Mabel's age gap with the guys as "creepy," so maybe she's trying to get the guys out of the picture so Mabel can get her "shit ton of money and build something with it." It's a crackpot theory, but a theory none the less.

And that's what I've got for now. Please let me know what you think, I'd love to hear other people's theories!

[blueboyluca]

That idea that every individual should have a behaviour that is respected as a 'no' behaviour, so I brought that bias to my work with non-human animals and it is implicit in the model that I've been teaching where we have the three ABC paths. The one in the middle is our ABC of the problem behaviour of interest and then we ask, the next path is how can we replace that behaviour but preserve those meaningful consequences that the problem behaviour produced? And then the third path is what new skills. So if we think of that as maybe three tines on a fork, we want to address all three of those to the greatest degree possible. It's that second path where I have been teaching that's where the animal gets to say 'no'. That when, for example, you offer your hand to a parrot wanting them to step onto your hand or you hold the leash wanting your dog to come closer with its collar, that you give an animal a way to say "No I don't want to step on your hand" or "I don't want you to attach a leash to my collar" or for a child to say "No I don't want to brush my teeth". That we as the teachers, our job is to shape that no communication, that negative reinforcement of doing something more to escape the hand, to escape the leash, to escape tooth brushing – that we shape how the individual says no so that it still meets the negative reinforcement escape or avoidance function but does it in a way that keeps the learner successful in our environments, keeps the dog successful in our home, the kid is well, the elephant is successful at having its footwork done. And then when an animal says no and we honour that behaviour and we shape it by moving away with smaller and smaller, safer and safer behaviours, so now instead of getting bitten the animal just needs to lean back. Then we need to ask ourselves, why would a reasonable and rational animal say no? We take the responsibility back into our court to devise an improved training plan so that animals say yes more often. So there's quite a lot to it and I think those three paths, the first is the ABC for the problem – the bird isn't stepping onto my hand when I offer my hand – then we ask, what can they do instead? Let's say the bird bites my hand when I offer my hand, we ask what can they do instead? They can lean back and I'll remove my hand. And then we ask, how can we train the yes? How can we have them jumping onto our hand as soon as we offer it with great enthusiasm, low latency?

— Dr Susan Friedman, Animal Training Academy podcast episode 200

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP47 SPOILERS!

welp. todays the day. pray for me guys this could easily be the most upsetting episode of dndads for me. im dreading this so bad

- IS THAT FUCKING HERMIE SINGING???

- I CANT DO THIS

- I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE INTRO TO BE SAD IM SICK IM SICK IM ALREADY GONNA CRY

- "HATING MY FATHER INSTEAD OF HOLDING YOUR HAND" HEY???? HEY???! IM GONNA KMS

- OAKWORTHY IS CANON. IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE.

- FROM WHAT I HEARD I THOUGHT SCAM WAS IN THE INTRO???? BUT THIS. THIS HURTS SO BAD

- i feel sick i havent been able to move on from the intro

- im gonna be so honest i was expecting a "sike" or something at the end so u can imagine my relief when the little clicks started playing

- okay. okay. time to listen to ur fun facts u sick fucks

- WILL ACCIDENTALLY CALLING THE PODCAST DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AGAIN LMAOOO

- anthony stfu i dont want to hear ur voice (hes literally the dm)

- MASTER OF MANIPULATION LINCOLN LI WILSON

- will. what evil fact do u have for us today.

- NORMAL DOES TAROT READINGS WHAT

- WILL IS GONNA JUST DRAW A CARD RN???

- LOVERS??? THERES NO FUCKING WAY

- WILL ACKNOWLEDGING HERMIE DIED IM GONNA THROW UP

- A BROKEN MARRIAGE???? HOLY SHITTTT

- scary plays the piano omg!!!

- THATS THE DUMBEST REASON EVER

- "im really nervous about what anthonys gonna do this episode" U AND ME BOTH MATT

- MY HEART IS POUNDING. MY HANDS ARE SWEATING. MOMS SPAGHETTI /ref

- it has taken me an hour just to get through the intro + facts.

- "but at what cost?" AT WHAT COST IS RIGHT BETH.

- SO NORMAL WASNT CONSCIOUS FOR IT. UR FUCKING JOKING

- MATT SUGGESTING THEY HIDE THE TRUTH FROM NORMAL. I CAN FEEL TEARS COMING

- ATOPPP ANTHONY HELPP

- BETHS REAGAN JOKE TO THE RESCUE

- NORMAL IS AWAKE AGAIN. OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD

- NOOOO OFC THEYRE GETTING INTERRUPTED

- "wheres hermie?" IM DONE

- NORMAL CANT SEE HERMIES BODY OH MY LORDDD

- anthony rushing them away. i cannot. i cannot

- "well fix it" im done

- NORMAL GOES TO PICK THEM UP.

- I CANT DO THIS.

- "this marriage has one less spouse but heavens got one more little angel" MATTHEW ARNOLD CAN U NOT.

- im sitting here in shock through all of this

- "just be happy ur not in hell" shut up anthony too soon

- thank god normal didnt take damage again

- lincoln cool scar era okay

- NORMAL PANICKING LOOKING FOR SPELL COMPONENTS LIKE HE DID W TERRY JR I CANTTTT

- HENRY OAK GARCIA. SAVE ME HENRY

- LARK AND SPARROW GIVING EACH OTHER A LOOK HELP ME. HELP ME

- NORMAL DOING SENSE MOTIVE AGAIN STOP IT

- AND GETTING A 1 AGAIN!!!!!

- theyre back home.

- "VOTE WILLY"?????

- "u guys ready to see him?" NO. NO IM NOT

- ty for protecting dood scary :[

- NORMAL IS HOLDING HERMIES HAND AND TALKING TO THEM. WILL CAMPOS DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEE

- ANTHONY STOP RUBBING IN HOW DEAD THEY ARE

- "the only thing keeping u together is the absolute ignorance u have of the fact that maybe the only person who ever showed u any real affection in the last couple years of ur life is dead" anthony burch im hunting u down.

- STOPPPPP NOT THE AD

- THE OLD EARTH WHOOOA

- is the dude w the white beard that "new fan fave npc" will was talking about lol

- HENRY REVEAL. HENRY REVEAL!!!!

- BARRY?????

- I SCREAMED I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

- I DIDNT KNOW IF WE WERE GONNA GET BARRY BACK. NO WAY

- MERCEDES IS DEAD..... STOP IM CRYING AGAIN

- THEM ALL CALLING HERMIE THEIR FRIEND. OOUGH

- UR FUCKING KIDDING. ANTHONY DO NOT TEASE US LIKE THIS

- "MADE OF GOOF MATTER" UR JOKING

- NORMALS SNAPPING OHHHH GOD

- NORMAL. NORMAL ISTG.

- NORMALS TRYINF TO BRING THEM TO SCAM?????

- HOLY FUCK......

- THEYRE IN THE SIMPSONS NOW.

- SCAM LIKELY. MY FUCKING ENEMY.

- WHY DOES HE. WHY DOES HE ACTUALLY CARE. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS THERES NO WAY

- "HES MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD" SHOOT ME.

- THEY DONT HAVE A SOUL.

- WTF IS SCAM GONNA DO

- ANTHONY I DONT TRUST U ONE BIT

- anthony burch. i hate u

- okay scam apologizing does feel good

- "I DONT WANT ANOTHER ONE I WANT THIS ONE" AND PUNCHES HIM. OH. MY GOD.

- "u feel like home for some reason" WAILS

- OH MY GOD SCARYS GONNA TELL NORMAL.

- GUYS I CANT DO THIS I REALLY CANT

- THE TREE. WILL CAMPOS PLZ

- HENRY TOLD NORMAL HES PROUD OF HIM. NOBODY TALK TO ME AGAIN EVER

- ty henry for giving normal what he needed im gonna sob my eyes out

- THEYRE GONNA PUT THE SUN BACK.

- THE FUCKING. THE FUCKING SUNRISE

- MATT OLD LADY NPC

- WHAT IS THIS FUCKING IMPROV

- CHAPARRAL.

- DONT FUCKIJF HIT ME UP

- "i liked u too" sighs.

- "GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE" END ME.

- "hermie u definitely were one of us" SOBS

- "i did notice u. thanks for everything" AAUAGAUHH

- LINK SAID NOTHING FOR HERMIE GOOD GOD

- "lark shakes ur hand, sparrow goes in for a hug" ough.

- OH MY GOD HENRYS GONNA SEE CODE PURPLE.

- HOLY SHIT YALL THIS IS BIG

- THEYRE TEACHING HERO AND NORMAL HOW TO SHOOT.

- BABY NORMALLLL

- "help me normal, only u can save me normal" WTF??? WTF????

- WHAT THE FUCK.

- guys i made it through. [confetti falls on me]

[pynkgothicka]

Ｔｙｐｅｓ ｏｆ Ｙａｎｄｅｒｅｓ Ｔｈｅ Ｑｕａｒｒｙ Ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒｓ Ｗｏｕｌｄ Ｂｅ

Synopsis - Pretty simple, a set of hcs describing The Quarry Characters and their tendencies as Yanderes

Warnings - Acts of violence, Literal murder, gaslighting

Authors Note - me and the quarry game as a whole getting married. Also.... IS DYLAN GAY?!?? I DIDNT WANT TO WRITE FOR HIM CAUSE I WAS UNCERTAIN

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

Abigail - Shy

She won't even speak to you at first, literally she waits for you to make the first move

She will still stalk you, that's just a given but she'll never interact with you on her own

Yet when she first does either through you or maybe Emma introducing her to you, she becomes a open book

She'll talk and talk and talk, most of it being a bunch of rambles. But hey it's not common for someone she's been admiring from afar for 2 weeks to finally speak and enjoy being around her.

As for actually hurting or killing people she would never, well intentionally or plan out a murder. But if it's like a spur of the moment thing she gets super ashamed and hides what she's done quick

She can't risk you hating her for something she didn't even know was possible for her to do

However she will never actually take you unless she's forced, even then she'll just let it all he and just have you live with her

Abi will apologize continuously, she craves your validation so please give it to her

Laura - Determined

Once Laura has her sights set on a goal, you, it's hard to steer her away from that goal.

This makes her one of the hardest to get away from, Laura being smart enough to think of every attempt before hand and having something to counteract that attempt

Yet she's also preplanned any possible way for you to trust her again if case things go south.

The more you trust her and her guidance the more things she'll allow for you to do, it's not like she doesn't want you to enjoy your time in the relationship, infact that's all she wants when it comes to you

Laura is the type willing to get her hands dirty over you, killing whoever she sees fit. Sometimes she’ll chose someone very close, make your watch, then torture and then to prove a point, which is always a huge end goal for her.

Her main key is proving a point, the point being that she's right. And that you belong together and always have been.

Ryan - Lovesick

He loves a connection!

As soon as he hits that connection with you he's hooked. Ryan doesn't really talk to people, in fact he was never really good with them in the first place. So whenever you pop into his life out of nowhere hes lovesick and will literally be wrapped around your finger

One thing that benefits him is the fact that he's a tad bit intimidating. He's so intimidating in fact that he just kind of sulks around and

Sharing is caring, only with you though, so he listens to his podcasts with you, sharing his thoughts and how it'd be so cute if you started your own

But as soon as someone messes with you and your relationship he goes ballistic. He will harm someone, not to kill them but he will get his point across

His entire snarky awkward attitude is all a front why would he reveal who he really is when he'd rather hide behind you and be that rock for you to lean on

Max - Obsessed

Imagine how doting his is over Laura upped x100. He's a big goof ball yes but he knows what's his is his

He's super clingy at that, so expect every moment with him to be him cuddling up next to you and feeling up on you

This is way worse whenever he gets infected, turning even more obsessed with the mere idea of you, it's to the point where he constantly smothers you with just how much he loves you

Even if your not a thing he will find some way to be this crucial aspect in your life, by any means possible. It could be he's your quirky next door neighbor in your apartment complex that always invites you over after work, or maybe a returning costumer that comes every day to the small shop you work at

During all these instances he has memorabilia of the event, a bag you gave him or maybe you left your purse and he'd take something unrecognizable like a chapstick. (He will constantly rub it against his lips and claim it's almost like kissing you)

Nicknames galore! Your his whole world and he needs to remind you that always!!

When it comes to killing he actually plans it out to where he's around his target or would lead them into a desolate location to let his werewolf form handle it, god knows he can't

Overall with him it's never bad, it's just tiring at points

Emma - Manipulative

She knows exactly what you want to hear and when you want to hear it

Emma will wind her way into your life slowly making her be seen as the only thing you truly need in this world

Literally she will spread mess with the only goal of it getting back to you therefore pushing you further into her arms, instantly she'd play the sympathy card

Only when times get desperate and she's at an actual risk of losing you will she ever go out of her way to harm anyone.

Without the threat she usually does nothing, tearing your idealization of that person down with just a few words from her lips

But as soon as you find out something happened you go to your best friend and cry on her shoulder, Emma being there to reassure you that everything is alright and safe! If all else fails you could even stay with her until you feel better!!

She's the only one in your corner, your best friend remember!

Kaitlyn - Controlling

She doesn't like you leaving the house or go anywhere without her permission

After what happened at Hackett's Quarry, she can't even think about you getting hurt, especially if you got bit there.

This means controlling the food you eat, limiting your time outside at night, even hooking you up on a full moon just in case

She truly loves you! It's just hard for her to trust the outside world, just about seeing the worst of it

It's to the point to where she hides guns in places all over your shared house

Other than that she's super fun when she's not overreacting, she'll allow people to come over all the time

Nick - Intense

Nick is so intense with his love for you, he will find any and all ways to show that love

He gives compliments like no other, and will constantly flirt with you calling everything you do amazing or even just you in general

That is until he gets bit

Whenever Nick gets bit he like loses it over you and instantly claims what's his, and what's always been his

He's big into pda and if he sees you talking to someone he doesn't like he will go up to you, make out with you and then just lurk behind you, taunting whoever your talking to behind your back

Then immediately after that person leaves he drags you off to where you can be alone, which is definitely a hiding place only he uses and knows

Nick will hurt you, almost never intentionally, he just can't recgonize his strength and goes too far at times in which he will patch you up

Yet he really gets you when he paints himself as this victim and that your one of the few things he can rely on so don't leave him yada yada

So he would trust you to chain him up and to watch over him whenever he turns at times, but on others he takes that as a opportunity to attack others and act as a form of a protector to him

Jacob - Emotional

He puts his all into you and let's his heart lead his actions, you could use him if you really wanted too

After Emma kind of treated him bad he hoped that someone hell anyone would love him the way he loves them

Then he meets you

And God is Jacob in love, someone who lets him be him without any judgement, it's like he's in heaven

So of course he would want to protect that

Most of what makes him a yandere, is that he acts without thinking, and attacks people just merely to protect you

Sometimes it's charming but others it's scary and changes into a completely different person, his carefree and joking attitude turning into a more serious and dark one

But he recognizes he scares you and his emotions change once again and he's back to doting and apologizing to you, but he'll definitely take care of the situation later

He just has more important things to worry about at the current moment

[mx-lamour]

OC ask: 6, 12, 22, 38, B, I

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Ezra probably sees laws as immovable. But, as such, laws are also finite. They only exist under particular circumstances. Ezra has been to many settlements, a few cities, and they're all a bit different from each other. The wilderness functions by its own rules. Then there's Barovia, and the other Dread lands. Laws are like lighthouses. They mark a potentially dangerous bit of landfall, but what you do with that insight is up to you. Keep sailing, or take a defined risk?

We'll not go down the rabbit hole of undefined risks just now. That's where terror and folklore thrive.

12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

I assume Ezra has flexible arms like I do, and I haven’t yet found an itch I can't scratch. However, the new prosthetic situation has been tricky for him. He's anticipating a more articulated hand soon, but for now he has what amounts to a wooden mitten, and it's not very effective for scritches. Sticks exist, though; arrow shafts, things like that. It's just enough to give his remaining hand that extra reach.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

Ezra has long been resigned to the idea that he doesn't get to have nice things (usually to do with caring relationships or a sense of belonging, not material wealth). So he goes through a kind of grieving process with envy. To witness something beautiful, that he wants for himself but knows he can't have, is as excruciating as it is inspiring.

Ezra also tends to be incredibly supportive of the object of his jealousy. He can't have this, but by gods, it is going to work for them. It has to work for someone. He'll live through it vicariously. (But I think this particular response has been unique to Barovia onward.)

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

He has a few that crop up here and there. The first time he met Ireena, and sat up with her late into the evening while his companions slept. The first time he realized the Traveler was with him; he sent out a little prayer, riding in the back of Ezmerelda’s wagon, and a single candle flickered to life in response. The first time he read about Alek and Strahd hanging over a cliff, refusing to let each other go, and realized he would have done anything for a friendship like that when he was young.

But the one that he has revisited most often is the memory that's been with him the longest. It was the first time he'd set fire to a foster family's home. It was an accident, but it didn't matter. The effect was ruinous. House gone, people injured, livelihoods in ash. No one ever looked at him the same after that. Their fears had redoubled. That was the first time Ezra felt like a monster.

B) What inspired you to create them?

Autism. 😅 Now, an essay...

I was at a point where I had newly considered the possibility and was pretty sure that I was/am autistic. I had started to learn a lot about my own experiences (I wasn't actually diagnosed until about a year into the campaign, so very recently), and I used Ezra as an allegory to process some of what was being revealed to me. (I had also written kind of a horrible memoir podcast for the same purpose, and Ezra was featured in episode 5. I am not going to link it, haha.)

That aspect of Ezra wasn't actually intentional until I noticed I was doing it, but then I leaned in.

I don’t remember what made me choose a fire genasi initially. I had to talk it over with my DM when it came to me, because I liked the idea, but I wasn't sure it would fit well enough with the setting or the class I wanted to play. (At the time, I had been thinking about playing a rogue. My first and longest-running rpg character had been a rogue, and it had been a while since I played one.) My DM reassured me of the setting component, at least.

But I wasn't entirely convinced that I could pull off a blazing bright man being the kind of stealthy I was going for (this art is pretty damn accurate to how I saw him at this point in the process), so I took a little bit of a turn into my other most familiar territory: #i play clerics a lot, and some divine energy was certainly going to be useful in a horror setting. But I hadn't tried out the trickery domain yet, and that had the potential to still give me a little bit of that roguish flavor I had originally envisioned.

When, much later (my DM had been planning CoS for about a year before launch), it finally came time to nail down who this person really was and put them into a world, that was when my autistic revelations decided they were going to have Input.

I really ran with the personification of fire. What can fire eat? How would fire sleep? How is it viewed and interacted with generally by people going about their daily lives? With sentience, how does it feel about and react to this? I gave him little stims and sensory icks. Following through on the stealth aspect of trickery, I had him in disguise, but it was just masking. A coping mechanism for interacting with a world that didn't understand him and, beyond that, couldn't really teach him to understand himself either.

When my DM asked who his patron deity was, I wasn't sure. I looked at a few. When I decided on the Traveler (which had been vaguely familiar to me only through having created a changeling character for a previous campaign), my DM had this tell, that I assume all DMs have, where they get this glint in their eye that means they've made a connection and they're doing mental steeple-fingers up in there. But he discussed it very reasonably with me, and we agreed that it was a suitable choice, and that Ezra wasn't a priest or anything. The Traveler chose him, not the other way around.

Because of this (and tbh it's one of my favorite things to play with) I didn't even use most of his class abilities until we were well into the campaign, and those I did use were disguised as seemingly ordinary gestures to him. Eventually, though, it couldn't be helped, and we found ways for him to suspect that something more was happening there.

And, because I had played into his fire aspect so much when building his background, I started to give him levels in sorcerer, too. I had not planned on doing this, before we got into it, but it helped to stave off becoming too powerful too fast as a cleric before he figured things out, and it also allowed me to explore some of his fear and self-consciousness, because he had been put in this new situation where his ability to burn was becoming pretty vital and maybe even desirable.

So he actually had to face that, and when he started to let himself go a little bit more and explore his own power, that's when I would give him another level in [phoenix] sorcerer. And when he started to accept that there might actually be something looking out for him and started to get more comfortable asking for its help, that's when I would give him a level in cleric. (There were a couple exceptions to this, in which the mechanics were just going to be frustrating and weird if I didn't do it a certain way, but in general that was the idea.)

Ezra has been a seriously therapeutic character these last 15 months. He's been teaching me things about myself, and I've been trickling in on him things I've learned from my therapist (Ezra’s been with me longer than she has). It's a symbiotic relationship at this point. I inspired him and he inspires me. :')

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Bro, what isn't his canon universe?

He’s from Faerûn, he got sucked into Barovia, and there he's stumbled upon the remains of people who might have even been from our irl world initially. He’s the child of a genie and an elf, he was born in hell, he’s been to places that shouldn't exist, his patron is the literal Traveler, and he's preparing to alter time itself. I couldn't contain him to a universe if I tried. Heck, the universe he came from can hardly contain itself to one canon. 😂

[ajroach42]

Welcome to the new year! I’m glad you made the transfer without incident.

It is my Duty and Privilege to announce the public launch of a project I’ve been working on for the better part of a decade, This is Jupiter’s Ghost! It is a podcast set in the creative commons CC-BY-SA licensed universe of the Solar Federation. It’s a community initative, written and record by a small but growing group of contributors, which you are formally invited to join!

What is Jupiter’s Ghost?

Many things! Jupiter’s Ghost is a podcast (and possibly soon to be a cartoon from New Ellijay Television) set in the universe of the Solar Federation It’s a big universe against which lots of science fiction stories can be told, and it is my hope that Jupiter’s Ghost is the first of many.

Why is Jupiter’s Ghost?

The simple answer is that I’ve always wanted to tell hopeful stories about the future, and the crew of the Jupiter’s Ghost gets to exist in a world that, while still imperfect, is much better than our own. It gives me a chance to tell stories about how the world might be, if we work together, and how Freedom is a Constant Struggle, not something we reach, but something that we continue to reach for.

Basically, it gives me a chance to tell stories in a way that aligns with my values.

Please give it a listen, subscribe, review us on iTunes and Stitcher and Spotify and, eventually, when Google decides we’re worth indexing, Google Podcasts.

Share it with your friends, consider participating in the universe. Help us turn this in to something special.

That’s the meat of the post, but if you want to stick around I’m going to talk about what we’ve done, and why we’ve done it, and what we’re going to do next.

Like I said at the top, I started working on this thing nearly a decade ago. It before we closed Analog Revolution’s first physical location, before we moved across the country, before we moved back, and moved back, and moved back again. The current iteration of the thing entered the planning phases on the fediverse circa 2016, and then So Much life happened.

Thankfully, I have some great collaborators, and we’ve got it going. So let’s talk about what and why.

Why CC-BY-SA?

Jupiter’s Ghost is creative commons licensed, which means that anyone is free to share it, adapt it, remix it, or contribute to it. It’s specifically CC-BY-SA licensed, which means that if anyone does remix it, adapt it, etc. they are required to release their adaptation under the same terms. They don’t need my permission, approval, or support. They can, you can, just do it.

This was an intentional decision, and one carefully made to align with my values, but it has been a point of confusion for some folks so far, so let me unpack it.

I have written in the past about my appreciate of DIY Media and Fan Fiction, and the need for more creative works from normal people. I won’t rehash those things here, but the gist is that most of our modern collective folklore, the stories we tell one another and use to relate to the universe, are owned by Disney and a small handful of other companies and they use this position of power and control to harm us.

On this, Public Domain Day 2023, I invite you to consider the cautionary tale of Star Trek New Voyages. New Voyages should be a shining beacon of DIY Media. For those who are unfamiliar, it’s a fan series that imagines and recreates the rest of the Five Year Mission of the original Enterprise. It was a wildly ambitious project that dramatically improves in overall quality as it progresses, and it was made possible by the labor, skill, and creativity of a huge community of people.

and in 2016, Paramount decided it was illegal.

This is their prerogative as the owners of the “Intellectual Property” that is Star Trek under modern copyright law, but it stung. It stung even more when I discovered recently that there were Three finished episodes in post production and Crew on set Filming another episode when they ruling was handed down. Those episodes will never be released, they are lost, they are empty space in history. We are terrible stewards of history and Copyright makes it worse.

Now, I can imagine many of those reading this rolling their eyes at the idea that something of value was lost here. “Don’t want your project to be shut down? Don’t use someone else’s IP!” I can imagine you saying, and if our Copyright system was at all sensible, I could understand that argument, but it isn’t. Our copyright terms are too long, and they’re stifling and restrictive.

So, here’s Jupiter’s Ghost. Here’s The Solar Federation. Here’s a big open universe with Spaceships and Aliens and history and a future, in to which any number of stories can be positioned. You can use it however you want, as long as you credit us, and give back to the commons.

Now yes, it’s wildly optimistic to think that anything like Star Trek New Voyages would ever exist for our little old podcast, but it’s legal, it’s allowed, it’s possible, and it’s encouraged. That’s a better model for how copyright might exist and it’s a way we can live our values while producing media that reflects what we believe.

[ericac318]

Another Treasure Hunt

Summary: Tasha and Jess’ roommate Elsie has a slight history with Riley Poole. What will that history mean when Mr. Poole shows up during their treasure hunt?

Chapter 1

Two Years Earlier…

Elsie Hart was a sophomore at LSU when she heard that famed treasure hunter, Riley Poole, would be doing a book signing on campus while promoting his podcast. She couldn’t resist the chance to meet one of her heroes.

She stood in line with Mr. Poole’s first book tucked in her arms, almost unable to contain her excitement. 

Once it was her turn, she moved up to the table and handed him her book.

“What’s your name, beautiful?” Mr. Poole asked as he took her copy of his book. He’d surprised himself with his flirtation but he couldn’t help himself once he saw her.

Elsie couldn’t stop the blush from reaching her cheeks as she responded, “Elsie Hart. Thank you so much for visiting our school. I’ve always been a huge fan,” she gushed, unable to stop herself.

Riley smiled to himself as he signed the inside cover, adding a special message. “I’m very glad you decided to come by.”

She thanked him again before she started walking back to her dorm. She opened her book and noticed he’d written an invitation along with his message. Riley Poole asked her out for a drink at the bar on campus once his signing was done. 

Elsie couldn’t believe it but she wasn’t going to miss out on the possibility, heading straight to the bar to wait for him.

An hour later, Riley entered the dive bar, smiling to himself once he saw Elsie sitting at a table sipping on a soda. 

“Can I get you a glass of wine?” he asked as he took a seat across from her.

Elsie nodded, “I’d like that.”

Riley flagged down a waiter, “Can we get two glasses of pinot noir, please?” The waiter acknowledged his request and disappeared. 

“I have to say,” Elsie began, “I was very surprised to see your note in my book. A part of me has always hoped to go on a date with you, but I never imagined it would actually happen,” she added as their wine glasses were placed on the table.

Riley smiled, timidly, “I’m just as surprised as you are. This isn’t something I’ve ever done or thought I would do. There was just something about you that made me want to take a risk and I’m very glad to see you decided to join me.”

The pair shared casual conversation until Riley decided to be bold once more. 

“Would you like to come back to my hotel for a night cap?” he offered before joking, “I’d say we could go to your place but I imagine you have roommates,” causing her to let out a small laugh.

“You would be correct,” she replied, “I would love to join you.”

Riley and Elsie nearly fell through his hotel room door, entangled in a passionate kiss. He led her to the bedroom where he slowly removed her dress.

“This is not how I saw my night going,” he admitted while he took in the sight of her before him. 

She playfully began undoing the buttons of his shirt as she whispered in his ear, “Ditto.”

He pressed his lips against hers as she finished undressing him before moving her onto the bed, covering her body with his own. 

The following morning, Elsie woke in Riley’s arms. She noticed he was still asleep so she slipped out from his comforting hold trying not to wake him.

She was unsuccessful as she saw him sit up in the bed.

“Leaving so soon?” he asked, with a sweet smile on his lips.

Elsie nodded, “Wish I didn’t have to go but I have class in twenty minutes. Find me if you’re ever in this area of town again,” she offered an open invitation before she walked back over to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Call me before then,” he added with a smirk.

Follow along here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43928641/chapters/110453281

[steamystories]

The Celibate Lives of Jack & Jill

Satisfying each other, on a daily basis.

Based on a post by sex4every1. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.

I had just divorced my husband after twenty-two years of marriage. It wasn't anyone's fault, there just was no more love, let alone lust, between us. I think we both gravitated to different interests and different activities. Sex was almost nonexistent, but I often saw semen stuck to the shower walls, after he left for work. Me? I had vibrators and erotic novels, keeping me sated.

We had decided to dispense with lawyers and all the red tape and to just part amicably; it helped, of course; that we were very wealthy and I was offered a very reasonable settlement. For that amount, I was able to buy an old house at the beach, which had been a dream of mine for many years.

My husband loved the busy city life while I was more of a country or seaside girl. I swiftly came across a fixer-upper, which had been deserted for years, mainly because of the steep asking price. As money was not an issue and because I didn't mind the prospect of a long-term renovation, I didn't need a lot of time to make up my mind. Although the place was an absolute dump, I insisted on moving in as soon as possible, before any of the repairs or modifications had even started.

One of the most appealing features of the house was a giant porch overlooking the coastline; at the left side of the house the porch ended in a wooden stair case, providing direct access to the beach below. From the very first day, that porch was my favorite part of the whole house. As I was sitting there on my porch that first evening, looking at the setting sun and listening to the ocean sounds, I began to unwind for the first time in many months (maybe even years) and an almost intoxicating tranquility took over my mind and body. I can't remember how long I just sat there, enjoying the serenity, but suddenly my attention was drawn to a man walking up to the house. He had a very confused look on his face; and the closer he came, the more puzzled he seemed to get; until he was right in front of the house, looking up at me. I nodded and smiled, greeting him and asked, "Can I help you with something?"

"I didn't know someone lived here." the elder gentleman replied.

"Well, I just moved in this morning." I said, getting up and leaning over the banister of the porch. “My name is Jill.”

"Oh, hello, Jill. Well, I see; it's been so many years, I guess I didn't even consider the possibility." he murmured, barely audible. He looked completely disoriented for a moment.

"Would you like to come up for a cup of tea?" I asked, taking pity on him.

"No, I wouldn't want to disturb you." he said, turning away and preparing to leave.

"Don't be silly. Come on up." I insisted.

Still reluctantly, he walked up the stairs and introduced himself; his name was Jack and he was 44 years old. After pouring him a cup of tea, I listened to his story.

He lived about half a mile away; and had done so for the better part of his life. Fate had taken his wife; Darla. His high school sweet heart; away from him only months after marrying her. He had never loved another woman since then. While life had not been particularly kind to him, he seemed very cheerful and happy, although a bit lonely, I sensed. When he started talking about his interests, it seemed that we both shared a passion for the opera. He struck me as a very intelligent, kind and lively man.

However, the longer we talked, the more restless he seemed to become. At first, I assumed he was just the nervous type and that was the reason why he was constantly fidgeting in his chair or checking the time, but when he started showing physical signs of stress; dry mouth, sweaty hands, foot tapping; I decided to call him on it.

"Jack, Is something wrong? You seem terribly nervous."

"Don't worry about it, Jill." he smiled.

"Jack, something is obviously bothering you. And I would very much like to know what that is." I replied sternly.

"But I don't want to ruin an otherwise lovely evening." he whispered, getting even more nervous now.

"Come on, whatever it is, it can't be that bad," I insisted, "Spit it out."

He took another sip from his tea, took a deep breath and then said, "For the past seventeen years, I've been coming to this stretch of beach, come rain or shine, every evening at dusk. It has been my memorial tradition, to remember my departed wife, and find relieve from my grieving. It includes an activity of a more intimate nature.”

"Okay," I said, as he paused for a moment.

" to masturbate," he concluded.

I looked at him, waiting for a punch line, but none was coming.

"Excuse me?" I said, wanting to make sure I hadn't misunderstood him.

"Masturbate," he repeated, "What do you younger people call it? Jacking off, jerking off, wanking."

"I see," I said, unsure of what to do or say next.

"I am sorry, I have made you uncomfortable. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I think it's best if I go now," Jack said as he was about to get up and leave.

"Every day for 17 years, in the same spot?" I asked, not wanting him to leave.

"It's not that I don't jack off in other places, but yes; I don't think I've missed three days in all those years," he replied as he sat back down.

"Why here?" I asked.

"There's no deeper meaning or romantic story behind this location, if that's what you mean. I just got on my knees one day, jacked out a load and came back the following day to that same spot; and I have been doing it ever since. I guess I've always known that someday this house would be sold and I'd have to find another spot, but it's been so many years that I started kidding myself that the moment would never come," Jack said as he gaze into the darkness for a moment.

"But don't worry," he immediately added, turning his head towards me, clearly worried about my reaction, "I won't do it again; I'll find another spot."

"You don't have to stop just because I moved here," I said, after giving the matter surprisingly little thought.

"Off course I do," Jack replied, "This part of the beach is yours now."

"Don't be silly, the beach belongs to everyone. There's no reason why you should give up a 17-year old tradition," I said.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"Yes I am. You can come and dump a load on my beach anytime you want!" I smiled.

"That's very kind of you. But what about when you've got company?" he asked.

"Don't worry, I never have company. I don't have any kids, I have one brother I haven't spoken to in years and no real friends to speak of; it seems my husband got those in the divorce," I smiled.

"And don't worry about your privacy," I suddenly added, "I plan on having some drapes up very soon."

"Don't be silly," he said almost as soon as I had finished my sentence, "If I can jack off my fat cock and shoot my sperm on your beach, I don't mind you watching every second of it!"

I smiled as I noticed his language had suddenly gotten a lot fouler.

"Besides." he continued. "I like to be watched, it makes me feel like a wanker!"

"Oh really?" I smiled, not knowing how else to respond.

"Hell yes. There's no point in sugar-coating it, I jack off every day; sometimes more than once; that makes me a wanker, period. And doing it while someone's watching, only makes my cock bigger and makes me squirt an even more disgusting load than usual."

"I; uhm." I stuttered, at a loss for words.

"Come on, be honest," he said, "Don't you think I am a wanker."

"Uh, maybe a little bit." I admitted, realizing that that was what he wanted to hear.

"Very good," Jack said, cupping his hard crotch with his right hand, "Then I'll think I'll go and jack off. You know, the technic ought to be named after me!" He winked.

"Now?" I asked, catching myself looking at the hard bulge in his pants.

"Do you mind?" he asked, unzipping his pants.

I’m hardly the one to feign moral disgust for self-pleasure. It repulses me to hear women demean men who jerk off. I usually observe uppity women and ‘church ladies’ being more guilty of this hypocrisy.

"No, go ahead," I quickly responded, not wanting him to whip out his cock in front of me. He smiled and turned away, walking down the stairs, further unzipping his pants and taking out his cock.

As he walked away from the house, in the direction of the sea, his arm movements left little to the imagination. About thirty meters in front of the house, he suddenly dropped to his knees, his back still towards the house and continued wanking. Although he couldn't see me; with his back towards me; and I couldn't see much more than his outline, I still felt uncomfortable looking at him while he was pleasuring himself and so I went inside. This had been a strange ending to an interesting and pleasant evening.

I tried to detach the last fifteen minutes from the rest of the evening in my mind, but; naturally; my brain kept focusing on that particular part. I fell asleep while visualizing Jack jerking off and spurting his cum on the beach; my beach, in front of my house!

I slept like a baby and for most part of the following day, I hardly thought about Jack. It wasn't until dusk started to set that my mind wandered off and started thinking about what happened last night. As I was sitting in front of the tv, I found myself constantly looking at the clock. Always finding some sort of reason, I got up and walked past the glass porch doors every five minutes or so. Eventually I got what I was after, confirmation of his presence. When I saw him sitting there, on his knees, in the same spot as yesterday; and probably every day before that, for like forever; a sort of calm came over me. I stayed and watched until he got up and seemed to be stuffing his cock away. As he walked away, he glanced over at the house and waved as he saw me through the porch doors.

As I hadn't bothered with turning off any lights behind me, I must have been pretty hard to miss. I felt like a silly school-girl for waving back. With nothing more to focus on, I quickly fell asleep in front of the tv. When I awoke several hours later, I went to bed, thinking of Jack once again. Although I wasn't in the habit of changing into my night attire too long before actually going to bed, the following evening, I did so right after dinner; telling myself I'd be more comfortable that way. So, in nothing more than some white panties and a men's shirt; that barely covered the panties; I set up camp behind the porch doors with a cup of tea. With the lights on behind me, it was pretty obvious that I wanted him to see me. And by the way I was dressed for the occasion, I was also sending pretty explicit signals; although I was still in denial about that.

When he showed up, he already noticed me on his way in and waved, smiling widely. I raised my hand, greeting him back and watched him as he sank to his knees in his usual spot. This time however, he didn't face the ocean but the house, looking straight at me as he took out his cock and started jacking off. I watched him and he watched me for several long minutes, until he eventually arched his back and shuddered; probably shooting a load of cum in the sand. Shortly afterwards, he got up and stuffed his cock back in his pants. But instead of leaving, he approached the house and seemed to be waiting for me to open the porch doors, as he clearly had something to say.

When I opened the door and stepped out onto the porch, he said, "Nice view, but could you lose the shirt tomorrow? I would very much like to see some tit."

Without waiting for an answer, he waved goodbye and walked away. I quickly closed the porch doors again, taken aback by his bold question; but then again, I had done very little to discourage him so far. Anyway, I would just have to disappoint him tomorrow, I told myself as I turned off the light and went to bed.

But, the following evening, there I was again, dressed in a pair of panties and the same men's shirt I wore the night before; holding my cup of tea and trying to convince myself that I wasn't a complete slut. When he showed up and waved, I didn't wave back, but simply unbuttoned a button from the shirt; I don't know why I did it, I guess I was on some sort of automatic pilot. After watching me undo a second button, Jack quickly took off all of his clothes; sandals, t-shirt, shorts and underwear; before taking his cock in his right hand and jacking himself off as he dropped to his knees. While my left hand clenched my warm cup of tea, my right hand kept undoing buttons until there were none left to undo. Then I nonchalantly opened the shirt all the way, so both my tits were exposed.

He arched his back not much later and dumped yet another load in the sand. As soon as I realized he had done his business, I closed my shirt to cover up my tits; without actually buttoning up again.

As he got up and picked up his clothes, I opened the porch doors and shouted, before he had a chance to walk off, "Would you like to come up for a cup of tea?"

"You sure?" he shouted back as he was already walking towards the house.

"Yes, I am sure," I said as I walked into the kitchen and poured him some tea. As I walked back to the porch; where he had in the meantime taken a seat; I was a little surprised that he hadn't put his clothes back on yet and was apparently not planning to, as he had draped them over an adjacent chair. Then again, I was hardly in a position to judge as I was wearing skimpy panties and an unbuttoned men's shirt which, at the moment, scarcely covered my nipples.

As I handed him his cup of tea, I asked; “Jack, did your wife like it when you talked dirty to her, while having sex?”

He sheepishly grinned and finally said; “Fuck yeah, she loved it!”

I sat in silence with him. Then I glanced at his cock, which was hard as a mother fucker. Trying to act indifferent, I sat down and asked, "Shouldn't it go down after; you know?"

"Oh, most of the time it does," Jack replied with a smile, "But sometimes it stays hard; don't worry, it'll go down soon; if not I'll give it another wank."

Taking that statement as a joke, I smiled and sipped from my cup of tea.

A First Real Date.

"When's the last time you've been to the opera?" he asked, changing to a lighter subject. After a few minutes, his cock did indeed go down, but became erect again about forty minutes into our conversation. After I had glanced at it a few times; probably not too subtle; he looked down at it for a moment and wrapped his right hand around the fat shaft, just like that.

As his right hand started flying up and down his throbbing shaft, his left hand reached over to the adjacent chair, slid into his shirt pocket and pulled out a packet of tissues. After putting the packet on the table, he started the conversation up again as he continued jacking off right in front of me! Distracted by his lewd behavior, I had trouble concentrating on the conversation. Luckily, the hornier he got, the less coherent his speaking became, so it didn't really matter. Towards the end, there was no talking, just him wanking and me staring at him (it). When it was time, he pulled a single tissue out of the packet and quickly held it under his big, purple cock head. He moaned and climaxed right in front of me as I caught myself clenching my legs shut trying to ignore the wetness between them.

When he was done, he reached over and handed me the tissue, whispering, "If you'd like a taste later on tonight."

I accepted the tissue with a smile, but dropped it on the table almost immediately and replied, trying to keep some level of self-respect, "No thank you, I think I'll be just fine."

He finished his cup of tea soon afterwards, put his clothes on and left, wishing me a good night. After watching him disappear into the darkness, I cleared the table, carrying our two cups and the dirty tissue inside. Although I always clean up before going to bed, a part of me just couldn't throw the tissue in the trash.

So, I also left the cups out on the sink and said out loud, "I'll clean up tomorrow," as if I was trying to fool myself. I went to the bedroom and took off the shirt and my panties and went to bed stark naked; something I never do. I turned off the light and as soon as I had gotten on my back, I felt one hand touching my breasts, while the other ventured further down south. After playing with myself for about ten minutes and only adding oil to the fire, I got up and walked towards the kitchen, not bothering with any lights. With nipples so hard they could cut glass and my pussy so wet that my juices were literally running down my thighs, I headed straight for the sink, grabbed the tissue; the center of my lust; and dropped to my knees.

With nothing but some fade moon light illuminating the kitchen through the porch doors, I carefully folded the tissue open with both hands and brought it up to my mouth. As my tongue reached out to lick the tissue all over, trying to locate my prize, I shoved two fingers up my soaking wet twat. It took me several seconds to find it and although some of the cum had already dried up, there was still enough left to cover my tongue and overwhelm my taste buds, sending me in an orgasmic frenzy. I orgasmed spectacularly and screamed as loud as I could, actually stuffing the tissue in my mouth and chewing on it, lecherously. When my fingers were no longer able to keep my orgasm going, I spat out what remained of the tissue and quickly rinsed out my mouth under the kitchen tap, feeling more than just a little ashamed; and slutty; for what I had just done. After cleaning myself up a little bit, I put on my shirt again and went to bed. Truth be told, I had difficulty falling asleep afterwards; a combination of guilt and self-loathing kept me up for another half an hour.

The following morning however, I simply grinned at the memory of what I had done and told myself that I was a grown woman who could do whatever she wanted, who didn't have to answer to anyone anymore. Besides, it had been far too long since I had had a decent orgasm like that one Jack's tissue and cum; and my fingers; had given me. Not burdened with guilt anymore, I was able to get quite some work done around the house and keep myself busy until it was time for dinner. After eating my microwaved frozen dinner in front of the tv, I took off all my clothes except for my panties; not even bothering with the men's shirt anymore.

There was no longer any doubt as to what I should do, it was just part of my routine now. When the time came, I walked up to the porch doors and waited, for about fifteen minutes. Just like the day before, he waved, took off his clothes, kneeled butt naked in the sand and jacked out another load while ogling my body; covered in nothing but some insubstantial panties. Afterwards, he got up, grabbed his clothes and looked up at the house. As I held up two cups of tea, inviting him over, he smiled and came up. As I looked down at his flaccid cock, I felt both relief and disappointment at the same time, apparently not quite knowing where I wanted this to go. After sipping from his tea and sitting down stark naked in the chair, we started talking about our common interests again.

It was incredible how open and spontaneous we were; after all, between the two of us, there was only one item of clothing left: my panties. He shamelessly looked at my tits and my crotch, and I ogled his cock and balls. The whole experience was very liberating, and tantalizing.

Suddenly, as the conversation stalled a little bit, he asked, "So, did you get a chance to taste it?"

"I did," I replied instinctively, effectively admitting to eating his cum out of a tissue.

"Did you like it?" he asked, gently touching his dong.

"Yes I did," I admitted, feeling myself blush.

As his dong started growing under his subtle, but trained touch, he ogled my body up and down, his gaze lingering at my breasts as he gently stroked his cock back to a fully erect state, right in front of me and asked, "I'll have another tissue ready in a couple of minutes. Would you like this one too?"

"I guess I would," I replied, remarkably at ease with the whole situation.

He slid off the chair onto his knees and started wanking, half of the time with his eyes closed, the other half looking at my tits and crotch. After a few minutes, he moaned and ejaculated into his free hand, which he held as a cup under the fat tip of his cock. When he was done, he reached into the chest pocket of his shirt; lying on the floor next to his chair; and took out a tissue, using it to scoop up all of the cum from his hand and cock.

"There you go," he said as he got up and handed me the tissue.

"Thanks," I whispered as I accepted it. Realizing there was no point in waiting for him to leave; he already knew I had eaten his cum and would do so again; I folded the tissue open and pressed the gooey part of it against my tongue. Feeling surprisingly little shame or embarrassment; probably because I was horny as fuck; I slid my free hand into my panties and started playing with myself right in front of him, while tasting his sticky, fresh goo. After consuming every speck of cum; and part of the tissue as well; I threw what was left of it on the table and forced myself to stop as I knew I would have difficulty climaxing in my current position.

After gawking at me for a few more seconds, clearly aroused, Jack snapped out of it and said, "Well uh, same time tomorrow?"

I nodded and smiled as we both felt like we'd gotten everything out of tonight we were comfortable with; for now. I sat up straight and sipped from my tea as he picked up his clothes and walked towards the stairs. Instead of heading down, he turned and asked, "I was wondering; if perhaps, I mean if you're not busy, if you would like to accompany me to the opera, this Saturday?"

I smiled at the absurdity of the situation; he was nervously asking me out for a date, while he had just jacked off in front of me and had watched me eat his cum, while playing with myself.

"I would love to," I replied with a big smile.

"Wonderful," he smiled, "I'll pick you up, around seven?"

"Perfect. It's a date."

"Okay, see you tomorrow," he said as he turned and left.

Because of his invitation my lust had all but faded, so I put on a shirt and went to bed, wondering what my ex-husband would say if he knew I had a date on Saturday, with a man who had masturbated in front of me several times and who's cum I had eaten twice already. Although I had seen him completely naked, I realized that he still hadn't seen my pussy; I would have to remedy that inequality as soon as possible, I thought to myself. I fell asleep with a big smile on my face.

The following day, I felt quite randy and particularly slutty all day long, probably because I had an itch that needed some serious scratching. I did my best to keep busy, while I anxiously counted down the hours to dusk.

Naked, except for my white cotton panties, I awaited Jack's arrival. Not from behind the glass doors, but from right there on the porch this time. When he walked into view, I smiled as I noticed his hard cock sticking out of his fly. He waved as he approached the house and assumed his usual position in the sand, facing the house, and me. I leaned over the banister and watched him jerk that big cock for about a minute, when I suddenly recalled the last thought on mind the night before. I stood up straight and slowly started pushing my white panties down.

I had barely exposed my bush when he loudly screamed, "Oh fuck!" and started convulsing wildly.

Happy with the result I had gotten, I let go of my panties, leaving them exactly where they were; rolled up just underneath my bush; and waited for him to come up the stairs.

"Sorry I don't have a tissue for you this time," he joked, ogling my crotch as soon as it came into view.

"That's okay," I smiled as I noticed a residual bead of cum dangling from his cock; sticking out of his zipper. Without the slightest hesitation, I put down my cup of tea and said, "I'll get it straight from the source this time!"

Before his brain could process what I had said, I reached out, grabbed his flaccid dong with one hand, gently squeezing it, and used the index and middle finger of my other hand to scoop up the cum from his cock head. Then, I ostentatiously stuck out my tongue and wiped his cum on it, swallowing it and then sucking my fingers for a moment. My god, I was acting like such a slut!

He just stood there, gawking at me, even as I lowered my hands again and stepped back towards the table. As I sat down, amused by his bewildered facial expression, I realized the strange position of my panties again. But, since they weren't causing me any discomfort, I refused to pull them up or push them down. Truth be told, it felt kind of slutty leaving them like that. As soon as Jack snapped out of it, he; to my mild surprise; took off all of his clothes and sat down completely naked in his usual seat.

After we had both sipped from our tea, he said; apparently emboldened by what I had just done, "You know, I've probably got another load in my balls; if you'd like I could shoot it straight into your mouth."

"Thanks," I replied with a smile, "But I think I'll stick to tissues for now."

"As you wish," he replied, sipping from his tea again.

"So, what are we seeing on Saturday?" I asked, changing to a lighter subject. After briefly discussing our upcoming date, the conversation progressed further into opera and other fine arts. Aside from the constant leering at each other's exposed genitals, it was actually quite an intellectual conversation. When we ran out of tea, I went inside to make us a fresh pot; still leaving my panties where they were. As I sat down and poured Jack another cup, he suddenly reached over and gently took my right nipple between his thumb and index finger and playing with it. My nipple became instantly hard and started radiating lust to the rest of my body. By the time I had poured myself another cup as well, Jack was already gently tugging it, driving me crazy and actually making me wet.

Slowly his other hand moved towards my other tit and he started doing the same to that nipple, while continuing our conversation. Making sure I kept my tits and nipples within Jack's reach, I stuck my hand under the table as far as I could, feeling around for his no doubt swollen cock, but I couldn't locate it. As he realized what I was trying to do, he scooted forward on his chair, bringing his cock within my grasp. Although I could still only wrap my hand around half it, I figured it would get the job done just fine and so I started jacking him off with a solid, firm grip. We both started moaning during our ongoing conversation, but managed to keep it going nonetheless, although be it a little less focused than before. Realizing this wasn't the most ideal position for a handjob, Jack got up about a minute into my stroking and repositioned his chair right next to mine, sitting down and opening his legs wide, giving me unhindered access.

Now able to stroke the whole length of his fat shaft, I was able to jerk him off much more comfortably than before. He, was able to cup my breasts and jiggle them as hard and as nasty as he saw fit. Although my legs were open wide and my pussy was still exposed, he made no attempt to touch me down there. I don't know if I would have stopped him or not, but I guess he felt like the time wasn't right yet. He did stare at my bush a lot and I could feel his cock throbbing in my hand every time he did. When, after several minutes, he started visibly quivering on his chair, I knew he was going to cum. I quickly scooted to the edge of my seat, pulled my panties forward with my free hand; opening them up; and directed his purple cock straight at the center of them.

His mouth fell open when he realized what I was going to do. He looked down in disbelief as I whacked the cum out of his balls into my panties. The fact that I kept on talking during his ejaculation only seemed to increase his pleasure. Once his balls were empty, I let go of his cock, got up and pulled my panties back up into their proper place. Then, with my crotch mere inches away from his face, I started pressing and massaging my drenched panties into my bush and pussy.

"Oh my god," Jack whispered.

Completely free of any shame or hesitation, I closed my eyes and while the middle finger of my right hand started rubbing Jack's cum into my clit, my left hand started kneading my tits and playing with my nipples, making them hard as little rocks. I could actually feel his breath on me as he watched me squirm and writhe in sheer lust.

Realizing I wasn't going to climax like this; and I wasn't quite ready to let him finger, let alone fuck me; I continued my perverted show while I weighed my options. After about twenty seconds, I'd made my decision. I turned and strolled into the house as I glanced back at him over my shoulder, encouraging him to follow me. I walked into the living room, sat down on the couch and turned on the tv, to one of those fake fireplace programs. As Jack sauntered into the living room, I took off my drenched panties and started playing with myself tenderly; gently drawing circles on my moist clit, fondling my swollen nipples and caressing myself all over my sensitive skin. I closed my eyes and surrendered to my lust, ignoring the fact that Jack was right there in the room with me; I had never masturbated so openly in front of someone, not even my husband.

I don't know how long I had been at it; possibly ten or fifteen minutes; when my body suddenly had had enough of the endless teasing and demanded some much needed relief. I gently stuck two fingers up my sodden twat and started fingering, filling the quiet room; except for my shallow breathing and the chirping noises of the fake fireplace; with lewd squishing noises. I was so primed for an orgasm that it didn't even take me a minute to reach my climax, and when I did, I made it last for minutes and minutes. I fingered myself deep and fast while continuing to stimulate my clit with my other hand, sending endless waves of pleasure rolling through my body. When plain fatigue eventually forced me to stop, I was sitting in a puddle of my own juices; some of it was dripping down the leather couch and was soaking the carpet right in front of it. I slumped, exhausted, against the back of the couch and moaned heavily as I enjoyed the lingering sensations of a superb orgasm.

Sensing that this was his queue, Jack whispered, "I think I'd better be going."

He was more than likely sporting another one of his massive boners, but I was too far gone to open my eyes, so I just whispered, "Ok, see you tomorrow."

"Pick you up at seven?" he asked.

"Perfect," I smiled, realizing that tomorrow was Saturday; date night!

It was the last thing on my mind when I fell asleep; on the couch; and the first thing when I opened my eyes the next morning. All morning, my sensitive genitals were a constant reminder of what I had done in front of; and because of; Jack. After a restful afternoon, I started preparing for our date around five and finished at about a quarter to seven. I was wearing a long, slimming black cocktail dress with black underwear and matching high heels. I paced up and down the living room; I couldn't believe how nervous I was!

Seven o'clock sharp, he rang the doorbell. He greeted me with a smile, gave me a peck on the cheek and offered me a bouquet of twelve red roses. A little overwhelmed, I invited him in and walked into the kitchen to put the flowers in some water.

"You really shouldn't have," I said, blushing and unable to hide a smile.

"My pleasure," he whispered as he patiently waited for me to finish tending to the flowers.

When I was done and reached for my purse, he said, "I've got something else for you."

To my amusement, he pulled a small, sealed, plastic bag out of his pants pocket, which contained a crumpled paper tissue; after opening the bag, he carefully pulled the tissue out using only two fingers and handed it to me.

"Prepared just for you, this afternoon," he smiled.

My pussy involuntarily contracted and my initial smile turned to instant lust as I accepted the tissue, looking into his eyes for a few moments. Then, while looking at the dirty hankie; quickly locating his goo; I opened it and brought it up to my lips, where I loudly slurped his warm and gooey sperm out of it. After swallowing ostentatiously, I folded the tissue back to its former size and handed it back to Jack, who was looking at me with a perplexed grin.

"You're amazing," he stated, as he put the tissue back in the plastic bag and threw it on the table.

"You're just saying that because I am a slut who eats your cum on a daily basis," I chuckled, picking up my purse and walking towards the hallway.

"Good point," he replied as he followed me to the front door.

He held the passenger's door open for me, like a true gentleman. After a fifteen minute drive, we arrived at the opera, where I was surprised to learn that he had gotten us a private balcony box right next to the stage; the best seats in the house, so to speak. The play consisted of three acts, each lasting about forty-five minutes with two intermissions, each lasting about twenty minutes. Halfway through the second act, I noticed Jack getting restless, constantly looking at his watch and fidgeting in his chair. Realizing that his daily routine was probably the cause of this mild anxiety, I ignored it, figuring he would keep himself in check until we got back to my place. However, about ten minutes later, I suddenly noticed him unzipping his pants and taking out his shlong.

As he started jacking it, I was torn between watching him or the stage, and ended up alternating between them. At the end of act two, I had expected Jack to storm off into the bathrooms to finish himself off, but instead he continued wanking during the whole of the intermission. We didn't speak; instead I just looked at him, pumping that big hard cock of his in his half-open fist.

Twenty minutes later, when the lights dimmed again and act three was about to start, Jack; still masturbating; looked at me and asked, bluntly, "Could you sit like a slut?"

I looked at him for a few seconds, before scooting towards the edge of my seat and reaching under my dress to take off my black panties. After throwing them onto the floor, I reclined in my chair and opened my legs wide, while pulling my dress up as high as it would go in my seated position, exposing my bare legs and my now unshielded pussy.

Then, I slowly slid my shoulder straps down my shoulders and pulled my dress down over my rack, revealing my black bra. Without unclasping it, I pulled my bra up, exposing my naked tits. Neither of us spoke for at least a minute as I sat there like a complete slut with both my bush and my tits out on display. He just continued jacking off as he gawked at; and drooled over; my essentially naked body.

Suddenly, he scooted to the edge of his seat and; using the cover of darkness; stood up, turned towards me and began spurting his thick, white cum onto my black cocktail dress, my naked tits and my bare legs. Because it was so dark, I couldn't actually see his cum, but I could feel big globs of his cock juice splattering against the thin fabric of my cocktail dress as well as my skin.

I didn't say anything, nor made any effort to move out of the way; I just sat there, looking at the stage, passed him, as he emptied his balls on me. When he was done, he sat back down and seemed to be catching his breath for a minute or two. I took my cell phone out of my purse and used the light from its large display to illuminate sections of my body, and my clothes. It was incredible, no matter where l pointed my phone, there were ropes and beads of cum everywhere!

"I can't go home like this," I whispered, staring down at myself. We both knew what I was going to do, so there was no point in dragging it out. Guided by the light of my phone in my right hand, I used my left index finger to scoop Jack's cum off my dress, bra, tits, legs, thighs and arms, bringing each serving of spunk to my mouth and swallowing it. It took several minutes of gobbling up his cum to make myself look presentable again.

Well, except for the fact that I was still sitting like a cheap slut, off course, with my tits and bush out in the open. And they remained that way for the next thirty minutes, while Jack and I enjoyed the rest of the play. Only in the final seconds of the third act, did I rearrange my bra and dress; just in time, so I could join the rest of the audience in applauding. As the clapping died down and the lights came on again, I picked up my panties and stuffed them in my purse. Luckily, my cocktail dress was no worse for wear; whatever cum I hadn't consumed,

apparently hadn't left any stains; so I was able to walk out of the opera house without causing a scene. We discussed the play in great detail during our walk back to the car and our drive home.

Breaking the silence, I asked; “Do you like it when I play the slutty woman, Jack?”

“Oh, fuck, yeah! My Darla played a great slut fantasy.”

After walking me to my front door, Jack gave me a peck on the cheek and whispered, "See you tomorrow."

"I'll be waiting," I whispered as I watched him walk back to his car and drive off.

Epilogue.

Perhaps, one day, if I get an itch deep in my cunt, I’ll ask Jack to thoroughly scratch the hell out of it. Or perhaps he’ll eventually get over the loss of his departed bride, and ask me to give his cock a warm, wet hug, in one of my orifices. But what we now have, is absolutely delightful, and even addicting.

Based on a post by sex4every1 for Literotica.

[count-geiger]

guess who finished their midterms!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also this is kind of an announcement post, i guess???? because im working on something! a big something! please stay tuned to hear more about it but for now i am going to tell you all a little itty bitty bit. im currently working on a combined fiction podcast and serialized web novel called tales from the hand of evil! i think i can best describe it as an abstract horror comedy in a western themed setting with lots of sci fi and cosmic horror elements. its very episodic, monster-of-the-week type of thing but with lots of recurring characters, settings, and plot elements. im currently writing the script for the first episode, and the first chapter of the web novel. soon i'll be looking for people to help out with everything :)

right now, im planning on making a tumblr account for posting the web novel on and another for just having an official account for the "studio" (theres no studio, its just gonna be me and whoever comes in to help me out).

im putting a cut because i just wanna ramble a little about things, like a diary that i get to post on the internet (fun!) but who knows if anyones gonna wanna read that.

MAN its been fun working on something seriously again. i havent done this in a long, LONG time and i forgot how much i like the idea of managing a whole project.

but now i live on my own and theres this whole deal of money becoming involved and im starting to get a little spooked. now this is more personal than i usually get on here because im talkin about my parents but my parents (specifically my dad) are actually quite supportive of my projects when i decide to dedicate my time to them. theyve expressed a lot of willingness to help me out in whatever ways id need to get what i need done, if im actually serious about pulling things off. so that means theres a possibility that, if i need or want to hire people, my parents will help me pay them

ive tried this a lot of times in a lot of ways. if youre someone whos been following me through my accounts on here then youve seen it. and i say this every time but this feels like the big one. i feel real real serious this time, more serious than ive felt about any of my other stuff. its because THIS feels feasible, more than any of the other things ive wanted to do. i dont feel like im aiming too high here, i feel like i can actually pull it off!!

ive been thinkin about something and its a huge long shot. but i cant get the idea out of my head because it would kill me dead if i was actually able to do it.

see you guys know i like will wood. everyone knows that. hes been my favorite music artist for four years, and will be for the foreseeable future. i got SO many of my ideas for this story while listening to his music, and the podcast itself is kind of inspired by life in the world to come's setting. so i got the vague idea one day of "hey, what if you contacted will wood about potentially commissioning him for music for your podcast?". its such a long shot, and if i DID do that, it would probably push the release date of the first episode back even further because hes on tour right now, but. his music would fit really good tonally with my story and the music he made for camp here and there was genuinely spectacular so i cant help but think about it. and from a kind of business-y standpoint, itd be a STELLAR way to attract people to my story, because i know damn well that will wood fans are for sure in my target demographic.

ive already decided that i won't contact him until the script for the first episode is done. because i feel like after the script is done, then thats it---ive done it, i CAN do it. ive officially made something that i can put out into the world. a story that i can share with other people. ive always wanted that.

i have the biggest gut feeling that THIS is it. THIS is the one. im actually gonna be realistic this time and im gonna do it, im gonna make something.

[ailelie]

In posting, I realized that I've not really talked about How to Disappear Completely here on tumblr. So! Here are some copy/pastes from Dreamwidth.

from November 2011

Kilbey and Nero's friendship, they are the last people you'd expect to be this good of friends (and if you've any doubt, do listen to "Bury My Past in London Fields").

Theo, she is prickly and vulnerable. She sticks up for herself, but is also unsure of herself. She has so much she wants to be, but doesn't quite trust it is possible. This is all more prominent in HtDC than YDaN.

Flawed characters

How they handle time travel

How they handle history

The writing, this writer definitely knows how to turn a phrase

Nero. Nero. Nero. Nero.

from September 2009

I love all the characters, the writing, the story setting, plot, and so on. Plus, this story features an excellent example of time travel (something I'm rather picky about).

Theo moved to London so that she could start her life. Only, she hasn't quite made it that far yet. Her hand has stopped itching for a pen and her boyfriend is cheating on her. Then she gets a strange phone call that leads her to a one-night adventure. She can't give up that thrill, though, and so finds herself falling further and further. Eventually she has to decide between falling and stability.

Nero Dusk is a former addict with a penchant for poker, when he has the money. He loves his old taxi cab, rockabilly music, and a good drink. He grumbles and puts up with Kilbey, his long-time business partner, and dreams of one day finding his way back to regular society. He cleans up after Kilbey time and time again.

Kilbey Salmon is a smooth-talking charmer who once wore a suit. He risked everything-- even stuff not his to risk-- for a girl. And made it. Only, Kilbey has never been good at the daily domestic. He faded from that life and found work as a detective of sorts. Along with Nero and a corner of a special map, Kilbey finds whatever's been lost, stolen, or hidden. He has fun with his life and makes messes. He's never serious about anything. But now-- maybe-- he has a reason to be.

Order. Chaos. London and the Dream of London. History. Being real. Mystery. Noir. Friendship. Love.

I love this book.

June 2009

This is just-- this hits so much of everything that I love. Cities-within-cities, well-done time travel, hard decisions, history, becoming someone you'd never imagined you could be, cleaning up your own mistakes, secret wars fought when no one is looking, quirky characters overflowing with personality, etc etc etc.

from Yuletide 2010

How to Disappear Completely or Salmon and Dusk I want Nero's story. How did Nero fall? What does Nostalgia make him remember? What about when the drug goes bad? What does he yearn to forget and never relive? What are his regrets? Triumphs? When did he learn to play poker? Who taught him? How did he meet Kilbey? How did Kilbey coax him out of the bottle and into a job? Did they ever argue over music? How did they become friends? If Nero is so full of potential, who else has he followed into trouble? What events have made him into the man we hear about in the podcast novel? // If you decide to listen to Salmon and Dusk instead (and I love them both), then I'd love something around Yesterday Came Too Soon, which is one of my favorite stories from the series, mostly because it is all Nero. Or happy!Nero. Or case!fic. Ooh, case!fic would very awesome.

What is this fandom? This is a podcast novel and series. You have two options here. How to Disappear Completely is the novel. It is about 30 chapters long in segments ranging from 20 to 60 minutes in length. Salmon and Dusk is the series and is a collection of five short stories (and one bonus Christmas tale). Each story is one to two episodes in length with each ep ranging from 30 to 60 minutes. S&D is shorter and would likely be easier to get into. The author designed it so that either one can introduce you to Kilbey and Nero's world. Some details, like Theo's last name, do change between the two as the series came several years after the novel and are sequels to a revised (and unavailable) version of the novel. The series deals with the aftermath of the novel and many features of the novel no longer exist in the series. Even so, listening to the novel is not necessary to enjoy the series. Both novel and series are available here [Broken Link]. Why do I like it? I love the characters. They are all a wonderful collection of quirks, strengths, and faults. Also, I love, love, love the world Bartlett has created. The novel has a city-within-a-city setting, which is one of my fiction kinks, one of the things that will get me to read a book/story/etc every time. The series deals with aftermath and how these characters cope and survive once everything has changed.

[sunmarketing]

Dr. Mary Travelbest - Julian CA

This episode's FAQ is: I have no vacation time and want to travel. What would you suggest?

Today’s Destination is Julian, CA

Today’s Mistake- Not carrying a second payment option

Travel Advice:  Bring earplugs

  FAQ: I have no vacation time, and I want to travel. What would you suggest?

Answers: I have felt this way often. You should find a job with more flexibility and rewards results, not just for being present and punching the clock. If you want to do both, consider a job requiring you to travel, and then add a weekend day before your trip and one at the end. That way, you can do your work and get the job done. You can get travel in on your days before and after. You could always negotiate with the boss for more vacation time.

  Here are two alternative questions for the travel dreamers listening. What about taking shorter trips throughout the year instead of one long vacation? Have you considered volunteering abroad to gain travel experience while making a positive impact? 

  Comment: Some may say that travel is a luxury, not a necessity, and you should prioritize saving money. I spent the same or less on my around-the-world trip than I would have at home in 2023. If you budget well, you could do the same.

  Today’s destination: Julian, Ca

  As a solo female traveler, Julian, California, a quaint town of 2000 residents northeast of San Diego by 60 miles, offers a unique opportunity to step back in time and immerse yourself in history and culture. The population is small, but it grows when tourists arrive. Safety is a top priority, and plenty of accommodations include camping or glamping in the Cuyamaca Mountains, cozy bed and breakfasts, and inns. 

  Artists, photographers, writers, and musicians flock to Julian.

  If you're a fan of apple pie, you'll definitely want to try it here! But there's also much more to do, from hiking and exploring art galleries to shopping, stopping for tea, getting a massage, and even stargazing in this officially designated Dark Sky city. 

  For the adventurous traveler, you can explore the tunnels of a gold mine with a guided tour of secluded mines or try your hand at gold panning. And if you have a car, stop by Dudley's Bakery in Santa Ysabel on your way home for a delicious treat. 

  If you're traveling in the winter after the season's first snowfall, be aware of potential traffic and challenges. It may be best to wait until the end of the season when the crowds are fewer. But overall, Julian is a welcoming and charming destination for solo female travelers looking for a taste of history and adventure.

https://visitjulian.com/to-see-do/

https://visitjulian.com/plan-your-trip/road-conditions-map/

https://www.dudleysbakery.com/

Today’s Mistake- Not carrying a second payment option

  My credit card was not accepted, and I did not have money to pay the bill. I was embarrassed. I did not have a second card, so I had to get an IOU and pay as soon as possible. Always have a backup plan if one credit card is not accepted. Today, you have new options, including Apple Pay, Google Pay, and apps like Venmo, so it’s easier. Not all businesses accept digital payments, so cash may be the best backup in those instances.

  Today’s Travel Advice-Bring earplugs

  You never know when you will be surrounded by a loud noise or unable to concentrate. The earplugs will help at a concert, especially if your seat is by the speaker. They pack small and can save your ear from permanent damage. They may distort the sound quality of the concert, diminish your enjoyment of the experience, and defeat the purpose of a live performance, but the health of your hearing is important for long-term sound quality.

Connect with Dr. Travelbest

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email: info@drmarytravelbest.com

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  Check out this Dr Travelbest episode!

[bates--boy]

"Coffee, two hours of sleep, have a team to offset some of the work to, and boredom," Peter answered, leaving no room for the possibility that Raivis had asked a rhetorical question out of awed disbelief, nor caring that he sounded like one of those grind culture manosphere podcast bros sans egregious bigotry of all types. "Boredom, boredom, boredom," he added for emphasis.

"And, of course, you're more than welcome to come check it out!" Peter grinned. "Of course, after it's finished. Repairs and renovations are a bitch, but once it's done, it's gonna be beautiful." In a way, he already found it beautiful; Raivis didn't need to know that Peter had broken into the place to go exploring, but by the twinkle in his eyes, Raivis would know that Peter was already in love with it and the future he could create with it.

He listened, twisting to reach for his own cup of tea on the table, but paused with his hand hovering frozen for just a brief moment because that was certainly unexpected. With the Latvian's physical age and demeanor, it was easy to forget that Raivis was a centuries-old entity who's seen wars in their most grotesque, in ways that Peter, a vet literally born for war, could never, and hopefully would never, know. Of course, "carve my ears off my skull with an old sword" would pass Raivis's lips as easily as someone saying, "I want to sleep in all day."

"Oh, I definitely get that," Peter said after the moment, not so much awkward as interesting and morbidly funny, to try to relate. He took his first long sip, watching Raivis come alive with joy, animated in a way that Peter hadn't seen the other in he didn't know how long.

"Oh, I'd love to come watch your choir!" Peter said as he set the cup back down. "Just as long as you can promise me that I won't burst into flames as soon as I step in."

When Raivis left to retrieve his instrument, Peter checked the time on his phone. Crap, he still had a few more hours for his phone call; he counted himself lucky that he had visited Raivis, otherwise those hours would drag on. He heard Raivis's return, and eyed the thing in Raivis's arms as he said, "Damn, that's a big boy..." But it was tickling some part of his mind, and the more he stared at the wooden instrument...

"... Oh!" he exclaimed with a clap of his hands. "Oh, I remember this!" he plucked at the strings, a quick plink plink plink and he was back to those young summer days. "

He had his next concert gig in three days, which meant three days to breathe. Everything was planned and booked in advance, from rooming accommodations and noted shops to visit, to the venue that charged a quarter off to book their place for the afterparty and autograph signing. It was going to be a daunting night, only for Peter to have to prepare for the next show and fly off to the next big city and do it all over again.

Only two things shone brightly through the tumultuous mulch that was his tight schedule. One was the planned video chat he and Ashira agreed on, the slice in the day where he could see the darling face of his child. The other, which was a bit unplanned, was visiting Raivis. Unplanned because although he loved Raivis like a brother, Peter usually tried to slip in and out of all of his touring cities undetected by the avatars of both city and nation (sans Scandinavia) -- less hassle for all parties. But it hadn't felt right that Peter would stop by Riga without calling, even if he was sure that Raivis wouldn't have known, anyway, so that was what he did.

And that was how Peter ended up in the general neighborhood, gazing around the confusing as hell buildings trying to find the right one.

[text: Rai Bread] hey yo, i think im by your apartment? what does the buildling look like again?

@cryingyetcourageous